LOCAL MOM FINDS GHOST OF RONALD REAGAN IN SON’S HALLOWEEN CANDY

LOCAL MOM FINDS GHOST OF RONALD REAGAN IN SON’S HALLOWEEN CANDY LOCAL MOM FINDS GHOST OF RONALD REAGAN IN SON’S HALLOWEEN CANDY

Blue, Indiana

Karen Price was shocked when her 8 year old son, Ethan, opened his Halloween candy this year. A spectral mist jetted out from Ethan’s King Sized Twix bar, funneling into his nostrils.

“I really didn’t know what to think. At first, I thought it was a cloud of cocaine or something’’ Karen explains, “...but I was wrong. It was the ghost of Ronald Regan. The ghost of Ronald Reagan has taken over my son.”

The Plum Grove’s neighborhood watch, alerted by the piercing wails from the Price residence, quickly arrived at the scene in their new HOA sponsored golf carts (bought

by the recent Jimmy Buffett themed neighborhood fundraiser).

Eyewitness, Richard Beans, Plum Grove’s Head Law Enforcement Liaison, described the scene, “Little Ethan was all curled up on the ground when we got to the Price household. He looked like the bug I had to kill for my wife earlier this week. Lepis-ima saccharina, the elusive silverfish. He was stiff like a board, and shook violently, like a board when someone shakes it. He was saying stuff like ‘tickle down economics’ and ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this lego house!’. The neighborhood watch has never dealt with anything like this before.”

Ethan, evidently, has not been the same since.

He awoke from the “kit kat incident” and disavowed any of the Halloween candy that he just collected.

“I refuse to take your handouts,’’ Ethan proclaimed as he marched around the suburb.

In the following week, Ethan soon amassed a following of contemporaries, conspiring a plan to “ensure sure the candy was going into the hands of the hardest working individuals”.

Ben Feinstein, a 7th grader at Carter Middle School explains, “I think I get it. Ethan has us taking all of our candy and giving it over the rich kids at Goldwater Estates across the street.”

Ethan claims the children at Goldwater Estates will take a small amount of candy and distribute the majority of it back to kids in Plum Grove. Feinstein continues, “I’m seeing good stuff. I mean, that’s what Ethan told me was happening. So far the Goldwater kids gave me back a half eaten Almond Joy and some smashed up Necco wafers. I’m excited.”