IMPEACHMENT JUICE

IMPEACHMENT JUICEIMPEACHMENT JUICE

The clock struck midnight and not a word was said at the White House, for everyone was scared of saying the cursed word three times. They all knew that once Donald was impeached, their power would fade away. Yes, they’d still have money, but what about the influence? The power to grant pardon, appoint cabinet officials, command the armed forces, and lead the nation would all be gone. And the worst thing of all: Donald wouldn’t have access to the Oval Office.

There are dark secrets held in that office. Dark secrets Donald would die for.

Melania grew tired of the silence and broke it by saying, “But why don’t we talk about the impeachme-”

Donald interrupted with, “Because it’s simply not going

to happen. I’m the best president this nation has seen and I need to make it great. Don’t even think about saying that word. MAGA!”

Donald’s daughter, Ivanka, added, “But maybe if you got impeached, we’d have more time to spend on my shoe line.”

“Don’t say it! I need the power!,” said Donald.

Melania and Ivanka exchanged a glance. They stayed quiet as the days went on. They just watched out the window as the sun went up and down, up and down, up and down.

They watched as their precious Donald appointed rapists and racists in positions of power. They watched as their precious Donald was accussed of being a rapist and a racist.

They couldn’t see their Donald in that light, but they knew in their hearts that it was true. They watched as Donald met with war criminals and supported Nazis. They watched as he undid the few good things the country had going for it. They watched the Women’s Marches and the Climate Protests and decided that enough was enough. They knew what had to be done.

Donald was in the Oval Office, doing things he shouldn’t be. Melania and Ivanka weren’t allowed in. There was a big sign at the door that read, “Man working. Women continue to clean up my mess.”

They knocked the door down and walked into the most horrifying scene. It was messy and sticky and god-awful. No matter how much they wanted to look away, they couldn’t. Their precious Donald was into baby play. He was donned in a diaper and bib that read,

“Vladdy’s Little Girl.”

He was being fed milk and carrot mush by none other than Vladimir Putin himself. There was carrot mush and milk splashed all over the floor.

The infamous duo hadn’t noticed Ivanka and Melania yet.

“Baby wants his milkie!” shouted Donald.

This led Ivanka into a horrifying, high-pitched shriek. Donald and Vladimir jumped out of their seats and shouted in unison, “It’s not what it looks like!”

But Ivanka and Melania knew exactly what was going on. They could handle the fact that their Donald is a racist, homophobic, xenophobic rapist that hates everything that isn’t his reflection. But they couldn’t deal with this.

They looked at each other and knew what they had to do next. They started chanting, “Impeachment! Impeachment! Impeachment!”

Donald shouted in return, “No! Do you know what you’ve done? She’ll be here any second!”

Rocking a slicked back green hairdo and a striped power suit, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez walked into the office and said one thing that would change their lives forever, “Your time is up. We’re taking back the House.”