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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
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TJH
THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
APRIL 8, 2021
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Liar, Liar Pants on Fire They may be common, but people fall for them every time E It’s a good thing you came in today. We only have two more in stock. E Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height. E You made it yourself? I never would have guessed. E You don’t look a day over 40. E Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study. E It’s delicious, but I can’t eat another bite. E For some reason, my alarm clock just didn’t go off this morning. E I didn’t listen to my voicemails until now. E The new ownership won’t affect you. The company will remain the same.
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
E The puppy won’t be any trouble, Mom. I promise I’ll take care of it myself. E Don’t worry, you’re not late...We always start our Shabbos seuda at 1:45 (especially on short Shabbosim). E Your hair looks just fine. E I’m 29. E Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there. E I’m not upset...I’m just tired. E You have my personal guarantee. E I’ll do it tomorrow.
Centerfold Riddle me This? After a bus driver came back with less money than he should have, his supervisor decided to figure out how many people had been on the bus from the beginning to the end of the route. Due to technology and record keeping, he knows that at the first stop six passengers got on. The bus then proceeded a few blocks and stopped. Two passengers got off and five got on. At the next stop, three people got off and seven came on. It continued for a few blocks and then stopped again. Four people got on and four people got off. It proceeded on its route and at the next stop, five people got on. At the next stop, 14 got on and no one got off. How many stops did the bus make? a. 21 b. 6 c. 23 d. 4 Answer on next page
You Gotta be Kidding Me! Yankel walks into a hotel and in broken English says to the clerk, “I’d like a room for tonight.” “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no vacant rooms,” the clerk answers. “Not even one room?” Yankel asks. “No, sir, we’re full tonight,” says the clerk. Yankel thinks for a moment and says, “Tell me, if the President of the United States came in and asked for a room, would you give him one?” The clerk answers, “Well, if the President of the United States asked for a room, I would find one for him!” Yankel replies, “Well, the president is not coming here tonight. So give me the room you’d give to him!”
