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On The Lighter Si e
MAY 21, 2020 THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. -A. A. Milne
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. -Ann Landers
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz
The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
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The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015
“Say What?!”
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
- Sid Caesar
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. -Don Marquis
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. -Emo Philips
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. -George Bernard Shaw
If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. -George Burns
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. - Johnny Carson
Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. -Margaret Culkin Banning
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -Mark Twain
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. -Milton Berle
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. -Robert Frost
It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? -Ronald Reagan
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. -Dave Barry
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. -Dalai Lama
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. -Mark Twain
-Earl Wilson
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. -Elbert Hubbard
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. -Miles Kington
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. -Charles M. Schulz
