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The music of today! Entertainment with Kevin Orchard

Now’t like when I was a young lad! [My dad, circa 1984] They say, what goes round, comes round. It does. I can hear myself saying exactly the same thing to my son about the music of today along with ‘turn that noise down’ and ‘its not proper music’! Back in the early 80’s I had just taken up the guitar fairly seriously. This was after a long stint developing my skills on the Air Guitar. [I was bloody ace on that thing] I had any colour I wanted and it always sounded in tune! It was here that I learnt all my rock stances and gurning techniques, some of which you can still spot me doing to this day. Nowadays on stage, if I break a string I have to stop and change guitars, or the string, and most of the time I am in tune! Sorry, I digress. At this time I was listening to the likes of Floyd, Aerosmith, Whitesnake etc, but the electronic era had just launched.

It was all duster coats, pushed up sleeves, no socks and guy liner. I was confused. I was still wearing jeans, slashed shirts and ribbons dangling everywhere. These were hard times, how could I get through the 80’s? I was very torn between the rock and new romantic fashions and I finally consulted my wardrobe and concluded that I could mix the two looks. I was sure that my final image would not only be a success and make me look cool, but would be a real killer with the ladies! So one fine Friday night I left the house to venture to a gig wearing the following; A pair of slashed jeans tucked into leather pixie boots [No socks], White string vest, Pink jacket [sleeves pushed up], Headband [more Jane Fonda than Rambo] and one Air Guitar... now I KNOW I looked cool.. Back to the present, many things have changed in the entertainment world, pubs and clubs are dropping like flies, smoking bans, drink bans, shoe bans,


lets ban everything bans, its all gone mad! But one thing has survived the tests of time, music.. Live music, many live music venues and even my 80’s stylish dress sense! Over the months I will be roaming round Tameside’s many music venues and drinking large quantities of alcohol in the interest of live music and its survival I will report back my findings here and offer a fabulous insight into the local music scene and hope that you will take my advice and recommendations on where to go for your next big live music night out. I will be chatting to the bands and finding out what makes them tick, why they love to entertain us, and finally asking the ever important question.. Are the chicks really for free? So join me next month where I can update you on my findings, who’s worth seeing? Who rocked my boat? How big was my hangover? Support live music guys! See ya next month Mr O FIND ME ON FB AND TWITTER.


Local lad ‘Rob Smith’ produces under the name ‘Berting Zed’ check him out on ‘soundcloud’ http://soundcloud.com/ Berting-zed

DJ Shaun Lever has been on the local scene since it was big on Sunday Nights down Ashton and way beyond!!

Frater & Stent are another 2 local DJ’s long established on the Tameside/Manchester Scene, now churning out some wicked tracks A producer and remixer and remixes check them for years coupled with out on ‘soundcloud’: Not forgetting his radio and teaching you YouTube Channel www. can check out Shauns http://soundcloud.com/ youtube.com/user/Bert- tracks on: http://sound- frater_stent and fb ingZedOfficial cloud.com/shaunlever by searching ‘Frater & Stent

this!

DJ Andy Hobin is known in his circles for producing remixes of commercial dance and chart tracks ‘Adele, Beyonce & Ace of Base’ spring to mind.

Grania Nesbitt is a local girl making a big splash with her fantastic vocals and original song writing, hear her at ... http://soundcloud.com/ grania_alekzandria0112

Check out his ‘soundcloud’ here: and on YouTube: www. http://soundcloud.com/ youtube.com/GraniaAlneat-n-tidy-records ekzandria

more local music coming in a future issue!

google the following words for some great links don’t be put off by the geek look of this, its good!

filipino kid BEAT american adult in break

PeTEBOX (just YouTube that) very cool!

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap120312.html

Life Hacks @ Image Blog

2D Photography Rube Goldberg Machine

www.empireonline.com/500


Bar Room Jokes I called my secretary into my office and asked.. “Would like to be ‘friends with benefits’?”.. “Ohhhh, Dave, I thought you’d never ask! I’d love to!” She replied. “ Great!!! Well here’s your P45 now get out!” When a man holds a car door open for his wife... ...it’s either a new car or a new wife I work at a chocolate factory, but they don’t like me talking about it. Which is why I have to Wispa. Isn’t it just a little ironic that if you mix up the letters of the name George Best you can get, ‘go get beers.’ I treat my wife like a comedian treats a microphone; I won’t even consider talking at it until i’ve hit it on the head a couple of times and made sure its working. My housemates always complain about the amount of washing up there is to do. I don’t know what they’re on about. I just leave mine in the sink, and when I come down in the morning it’s done!

The BEST of the Edinburgh Comedy Fringe! 1) Tim Vine “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.” 2) David Gibson “I’m currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.” 3) Emo Philips “I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them.” 4) Jack Whitehall “I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say ‘bought’, I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.” 5) Gary Delaney “As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn’t afford a dog.” 6) John Bishop “Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.” 7) Bo Burnham “What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.” 8) Gary Delaney “Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it’s what he would have wanted.” 9) Robert White “For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty.” 10) Gareth Richards “Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can’t be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…”

READER CONTRIBUTIONS

I just bought a new blindfold.Can’t see myself wearing it though.

My girlfriend left me because of my fetish for touching pasta. - Im feeling cannelloni right now!! from Luke Sugden

How do you stop a man breaking into your house? Replace the locks with bra fasteners from Neil Totti o’Rourke

Went to a fancy dress party as a loaf of bread. My wife is leaving me because of my mental illness, or at least thats what the cat says The birds were all over me. from Rob Vance from Paul Bellis


ricks RusTIC spicy meat PIZZA! Follow this easy step-by-step guide to make your own Spicy and Rustic homemade Rustic Pizza, serves 2.4 If you don’t want it spicy, adjust the recipe to your own preferred taste

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[4] Lightly oil a glass bowl and pop your dough in there covering with cling film and place in a warm place covered with a towel for an hour until the dough rises.

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[8] I understand you might not like spice and chillies, at this stage you can be yourself and experiment with your own toppings, break some rules :-)

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[1] Prep Yeast Mix: Get a pint jug, stir in a teaspoon of sugar into 150ml of warm water, add a level tablespoon of dried yeast, fork whisk and cover with a couple of hand towels for 10 mins.

[2] Sieve 225g of self raising flour into a mixing bowl, add a tsp of Sugar, a tsp of sea-salt and 2 tbsp of olive oil (tsp = teaspoon / tbsp = tablespoon)

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[5 & 6] During this time prep your ingredients and toppings you wish to use. I use tomato puree, garlic, onion, cheese, 150g cooked mince, slices of capsicum, chillies and pepperoni .

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[9] With your final toppings in place, pop your pizza-tray onto the topshelf of your now baking hot oven, it should take between 10 and 15 minutes

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[3] Add the now frothy yeast to the bowl and mix up with a wooden spoon, turn out on a floured worktop and knead for several minutes.

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[7->] Preheat oven to 240 degrees, Roll out your dough onto a floured surface into a nice round shape and place on your pizza tray - flour your pizza tray to stop any sticking.

[8->] Starting with a tomato puree base add a little garlic paste then onions, mince, capsicum, chillies, pepperoni and ending with chillies and more cheese!

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Look Out for the Recipe in the June & July Issue, it’s a Summer Corker!

[10] Remove from oven when well cooked and bronzed, place from tray to a wire rack to cool slightly before cutting into slices (the flour you put on the tray will stop it from sticking)

Not used dried yeast in a recipe yet? before you start the yeast mix for this recipe, why not look at the YouTube clip here which breaks down how it should be done, simply search on:

How to use Allinson Dried Active Yeast Alternatively you can use ‘yeast sachets’ you can stir straight into the flour mix and add warm water.

Join ‘BAR and CLUBBING’ on facebook by going to: facebook.com /BARandCLUBBING Follow ‘BAR and CLUBBING’ on Twitter twitter.com/ BARandCLUBBING






A selection from January February and March 2012!


We threw this Issues question out to those in our Facebook Community ...What is your All Time Favourite ‘Piano’ Music Track ? Jane Denny

Stephen Monks

Paul Chadwick

Shaun Royles

Staci Rushworth

Sarah Clapham

Chopsticks

Ruby Turner Never Gonna Give You Up

Pianoman Blurred Billy Joel Pianoman

Happy Hardcore Shooting Star

Praise Cats Shined on me

Sally Squiggles

Paul Rhodes

Natalie Brogan

Mike Lee

Derrick Evans

Ross Coyne

Carol Flaherty

Mark Lee-Mellor David Bowie Life on Mars

Rowan Hines

Ricky RixTheMix Wall Bizarre Inc -

True Faith Take Me Away

K-Klass Let Me Show You Guns ‘N’ Roses November Rain Elton John Someone Saved my Life Tonight Soul Central Strings of Life

Binita Bini Davé Lisa Lisa & The Cult Jam -Let the Beat Hit ‘Em

Richard Sunday Mambana Libre

Chris J Frater

Solo Music - Fade Frater&Stent Mix

Take That - A Million Love Songs Parra Dice - Can You Hear Me? Moby - God moving over face of the water

Playing with Knives

Si Chop Chop Frater K-Klass Rhythm is a Mystery

Little Words with Huge Meaning As children many of us hyped the statement, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Clearly, it doesn’t take long to realise that words have far more weight than we want to realise. They influence thoughts, feelings, actions and states of mind. Even little words often have big meaning.

Lewis Grundy

Think about it. Whether you want to land your dream job, improve your friendships, save your marriage or retain your employees; the words you choose can make all the difference. The simplest little words, which we take for granted, have the power to hurt or heal, to inspire or discourage, to help or to hinder.

Stonebridge Mix

The following list on the next page includes 18 examples of little words that have big meaning in the most positive way.

Rick Dyson Holy Ghost Superman

Chrissy Ward Right & Exact


1. Thank you Because every single one of us longs to feel appreciated, words of gratitude make the heart sing. Thank you, I appreciate you, I’m grateful for you—these words are food for the soul.

8.You’re safe When we feel vulnerable and afraid, these words have the power to restore the sense of security and protection that we crave. Fear may disease the mind, but words of safety are a part of the antidote.

2. I forgive you We all screw up. Unintentionally, we may hurt our friends, children, co-workers, and others. Words of forgiveness heal the heart by lifting the crippling burden of guilt.

9. I admire you Having someone look up to you, think highly of you, or aspire to follow in your footsteps is motivating beyond belief. Words of admiration are empowering, as they impart a sense of importance by reminding us that we’re making an impact.

3. I love you Quite possibly the greatest statement of all, nothing compares to, “I love you.” These words reflect the purest, most natural gift known to mankind: love. The only thing that beats saying the words I love you is showing love through action. 4. I was wrong Few words have the power to ignite the flame of forgiveness like the unselfish, courageous admission of wrongdoing. When we’re hurt, we know that the past can’t be changed; yet acknowledgment of the pain that has been caused goes a long way towards improving the future. 5. You are beautiful When we feel ugly inside or out, it means the world to hear that someone else still thinks we’re beautiful. 6. It’s okay When we are worried, hurt, anxious or afraid, these words of reassurance help to bring about peace of mind. If you’ve ever cried on the shoulder of a friend, you know how good it feels to have someone remind you that everything is going to be just fine. 7. I understand It’s human nature to try to relate to others, so nothing is more frustrating than feeling misunderstood. In times when we feel alone, misjudged or isolated in our beliefs; an understanding friend is much appreciated. We don’t necessarily need others to agree, but we long for someone who says, “I get it. I understand. I see your point.”

10. I support you When making a tough decision, which may or may not be the best, it means the world to know that someone is on your side no matter what. Statements like, “I’ll be there” and “I support you” encourage us to move forward with less fear of judgment. 11. You can do it When you’re contemplating giving up or battling feelings of self-doubt, encouraging words make all the difference in the world. There’s something about knowing that someone else has faith in you that revitalizes the faith you should have in yourself. 12. You’re the one These words say I choose you, you are it for me, you are special. Few things top the feeling that comes with knowing that you stand out in an exceptional way to someone. 13. It’s all about you Most days in life aren’t all about self, but we never forget the days that are. On occasions like birthdays, graduations and weddings; we thrive in the knowledge that it’s our own special day. It feels great to have unselfish friends who allow your special days to be absolutely 100% about you.

loss, and all of life’s struggles. Even those who appear to have life under control need someone dependable in their corner. 15. Great job Great job. Congratulations. Job well done. Whether or not we admit it, most of us delight in others’ recognition of our efforts. Words of praise and recognition inspire us to do more, to work harder and to feel a sense of pride. 16. I miss you We can’t always be present with those that we love, yet it means so much to know that we are missed during our absence. This is a way of saying, I love your company and I can’t wait until we’re together again. 17. You matter We all want to feel that we are important to someone or something other than ourselves. To hear that you are valued by another person, particularly at times when you feel useless or insignificant, is extra special. 18. I’m sorry When the heart aches, a sincere apology sets the stage for forgiveness and healing. I’m sorry, please forgive me, I apologize—these are all statements that show recognition of the damage caused and a desire to ease the pain. I hope you’ve enjoyed these little words with big meaning. As you continue with your day, take care to speak wisely and to use those words that you’d love to have spoken in return. Finally, remember something - people don’t know how you feel unless you say it; don’t assume they do!

Written by Nea Joy. Nea is the creator of Self Improvement Saga, a blog that promotes personal growth and outrageous joy through positive self improvement ideas. You may 14. I’m here for you also find Nea on Twitter @NeaLOA If you’ve ever needed a shoulder to cry http://blog.self-improvement-saga. on, you know the power of these words. They remind us that we are not alone, that com someone is there to help us through pain,


We’ve all got our thing in music, for some its the thrash of a guitar, for some its the pound of the bass, maybe it’s just a good strong vocalist and a well penned song, but for me its all about one element; The Piano.

The Korg M1 synthesiser had a fantastic piano on it and even if you couldn’t afford one, you could sample it off a mate who did and use it! JJ Tribute is possibly the most famous riff never to be a hit although I’ve never met anyone under 35 who doesn’t know this riff. It’s been re-used many times, most notebly 2Funky2’s “Brothers and sisters” and Twist’s Piano’s go in and out of fashion in dance “I’ll Be There For You” It samples Janis Joplin’s music, but they will always be there in famous live speech “Just because I got to some form. They provide a happy uplift want your love, when everyone in the world, to a plain vocal and add that little magic wants your love” and I think of all piano house anthems, this one has stood the test of time. that has made clubbers thrown their

hands in the air for about 25 years or so. Here’s a few stories of how Piano House began in the form of the records you should check if you’re learning about your House Music History! Richie Havens - Going Back To My Roots

Back in 1980, this Woodstock veteran rocker covered Oddyssey’s disco classic and pretty much inadvertantly invented piano house, albeit years before drum machines were in production. Largely ignored, however when Alfredo landed in Ibiza in the late 80’s with only a handful of records this was in his stash. The uplifting key this was in inspired FPI Project to replay this as an instrumental, pretty much launching a whole generation of piano anthems.

Softhouse Company - What You Need More Italian bliss here, often sampled and this has the rare accolade of having a latter remix from 1994 that adds a new piano riff which is just as well known. Nick Hussey’s piano keys on LuvDups remix becomes just as famous as the 1990 original, however if you listen to Chrissy Ward’s club classic “Right & Exact”, you’ll notice more than a passing resemblence to the original mix of this. Sterling Void - I Don’t Wanna Go

Not a well known record at all, infact Sterling Void are best known for their classic “It’s Alright” which was covered by The Pet Shop Boys, however this initially modest piano was brought back to life over & over again thanks to availability of affordable Akai samplers. Spawning anthems such as Manix “Feel Fleetwood Mac - Big Love Real Good”, Outrage “Tall & Handsome and (Arthur Baker Remix) Rockford Files “You Sexy Dancer”, this went to show that if you were too lazy to play your Sometimes when music changes, its often own or couldn’t actually play a keyboard then never intended, and when these ageing rockers you could pinch a lesser known one and make fronted by Stevie Nicks needed to issue a 12” it your own. extended version to push their album “Tango In The Night”, what they didn’t expect was for Jinny - Keep Warm Arthur Baker who’d previously concentrated on projects like 1983’s “Planet Originally released back in 1990 on the Italian Rock” and Freez’s freestyle gem “IOU” to Style label, this was picked up by Virgin create the format of piano house. records in 1991 and neglected by the record Big Love has all the elements you expect from company, yet in 1995 when piano house hit its a piano house anthem and an uplifting riff that second wave this was signed by Telstar and became one of the biggest ever early Ibiza even featured on a Now compilation. This was anthems. just one of a huge wave of piano classics on labels like Italian Style, Discomagic and others. ASHA - JJ Tribute Similar tracks like LAN’s “Get into My Life”, The System’s “Don’t Stop”, Technoage’s “Movin’ Discomagic records were from Italy. Over the On” and Electric Choc’s “Shock The Beat” were years they had concentrated on making elecjust some of the imports hitting UK tronic tacky disco records but as the owner, Dancefloors. Lombardoni began to discover, Italy was moving into house music as Black Box’s “Ride Baby D - Let Me Be Your Fantasy On Time” set the standard of their capitalist agenda.

1992 saw the rise of breakbeat hardcore in the UK, piano’s being an integral part of the format. Acts like Dream Frequency, Congress and Awesome 3 had huge breakbeat piano tracks with “Take Me”, “40 Miles” and “Don’t Go” respectively but “Let Me Be your Fantasy” hung around in the clubs eventually crossing to the charts and debuting at number 1 in the nationals. The uplifting key this is played in made it an instant classic. Dana Dawson - 3 Is Family (Dancing Divaz Remix) Ian Bland had already built up a name as the aforementioned Dream Frequncy when he began making house remixes of chart acts. In 1995 a bland pop record (no pun intended) by the late Dana Dawson got the piano treatment and Ian’s transformation consisting of a piano played almost in the style of a wild west hoedown sent this track down in history as possibly the most enduring piano floorfiller of all time going to show that a good piano can make an average vocal or song into a monster! Trotters Independent Traders / Pianoman Everything they ever did!!!!! I couldn’t write about the mid nineties wave of piano without mentioning DJ Sammon and Neil Rumney. From 93-98 these two artists delivered EP’s reviving many of the riffs and even playing some of their own originals which became classics. Pianoman’s riffs are legendary and Trotters EP’s are classics. If I was to pick two to check out then search for DJ Sammon “The Finest” and Trotters “Sing For Unity”. Here’s a just a snapshot of little bit of musical history but if tracks like “Levels” & “Penguin” by Avicci, “Pjano” by Eric Prydz, “Shined On Me” By Priase Cats or Dirty Freek’s remix of “Live Your Life Be Free” strike a chord with you then here’s how they all came to be. I will put up a special mix in time for this issue featuring the tracks mentioned here and a few more Shaun Lever http://soundcloud.com/shaunlever


Shaun Lever Dancefloor Addict Piano Special Avicci - Levels (In Reverse)

... and when everyone’s bored to death of your tune, why not reverse the riff and create an entirely new one?!! This literally is the riff from ‘Levels Reversed’ and it almost sounds like a fresh track.

Flo Rida - Wild Ones

Some would argue that this is basically Adele “Someone Like You” but a semi tone higher to get away with not being sued. Regardless, Sia has penned this belter of a song which I think is possibly the best thing Flo Rida has ever released. Definitely a huge track for the girls this summer.

DJ Fresh - Hot Right Now

Do you know how difficult it is to play a drum & bass tune in a commercial bar and not have your boss coming over and saying “Turn this s**t off”, it’s scaring away all my business? Exactly!!! Yet “Hot Right Now” ticks all the party boxes and I reckon this one is gonna hang around for the summer. All the dancefloor elements are here for the perfect dancefloor bomb!

Nicki Minaj - Starships

Ignore the main pass of this track as when it kicks in its just awful, however an unknown producer called ‘Justin Sane’ has done a belting remix which rescues this potentially Summer anthem and does what you wanted it to do in the first place. Starships sounds like Kool & Gang “Give It Up” kicked up for 2012 and Nicki Minaj doesn’t disappoint on rhymes!

Michel Telo - Ai Se Eu Pego

Every year a tacky song comes over and floods our shores like infected beef cattle however the US have picked up on this before we have, possibly owing to it being in Portugese and being huge in South America too. If you’re holidaying in Magaluf or Benidorm this year expect to hear remixes of this. The ‘Damon Paul’ version on Av8 in the US is my remix of choice.

I hope you enjoy this Piano Special we have done for you this Issue! Hunt these tracks out on YouTube and look out for my articles in future issues of BARandCLUBBING Magazine! All the Breast!

Shaun Lever

Jessie Ware - Running (Disclosure Remix)

Where deep house meets Oldskool garage, Discloure’s re-rub of this big vocal track almost sounds like it could have been made in 1997 and sunk without trace as a neglected London only white label. Beautiful and uplifting, expect this one to get some big Summer rotation, especially on the White Isle.

SINGLE OF THE ISSUE DJ Q - Brandy & Coke

Huddersfield’s number 1 drops a massive rework of an old RnB anthem in an oldskool 2-step garage style. I don’t think the UKG revival is gonna cross over like many people predicted but certainly tracks like this sound great slipped into my set. It’s got the beats for the guys and the vocals for the girls. A definite winner.

CLASSIC TRACK REWIND Sia - Little Man (Wookie Remix)

10 years before she knew who David Guetta was Sia released an under rated pop album, this was the second track from the album and again it was widely ignored apart from a certain remix by Wookie. From it’s steel drum intro dropping to a low bass and skippy beats, Wookie transformed this average pop song into a possibly the biggest ever UKG anthem of its time. If you’ve only just picked up on Sia through the “Titanium” track then dig this one out. Music at its rawest.


Latest Movies! We The Party April 6

WTP shows teenagers as they are, not as adults would like them to be. Set amidst the latest trends in music, dance and fashion, WTP is a colorful, cutting-edge comedy set in an ethnically diverse Los Angeles high school during America’s first black president. The film focuses on five friends as they deal with romance, money, prom, college, sex, bullies, facebook, fitting in, standing out, and finding themselves. Evoking such classic teen comedies as The Breakfast Club and House Party but with its own attitude!

Deadline April 14

Damsells in Distress April 6

Seven Oaks is an East Coast college with beautiful Greek Revival architecture and a boorish male student population. Decades after coeducation’s arrival the male atmosphere still prevails. A dynamic trio of girls -- group leader Violet Wister decide to change all that, setting out to rescue their fellow students from depression, grunge and low standards of every kind.

Bernie April 27

In the tiny town of Carthage, The murder of an African AmerTX, assistant funeral director ican youth in rural Alabama has Bernie Tiede was one of the gone unpunished, unsolved town’s most beloved residents. and uninvestigated for almost He taught Sunday school, twenty years. But that changes sang in the church choir and when Nashville Times reporter was always willing to lend a Matt Harper meets an idealistic helping hand. Everyone loved blue blood bent to discover the and appreciated Bernie, so it truth. Harper undertakes the came as no surprise when he investigation despite the opbefriended Marjorie Nugent, an position of his publisher, violent affluent widow who was as well threats from mysterious forces, known for her sour attitude as a break-up with his fiancee and her fortune. Bernie frequently his father’s cancer diagnosis. Deadline is a story of murder, family, race, and of redemp- travelled with Marjorie and even managed her banking affairs. Marjorie quickly became fully dependant on Bernie tion - for a small Southern town and for Matt Harper. and his generosity and the townspeople went months without seeing Marjorie who turned up dead in a freezer!

Lockout April 13

Starring Guy Pearce (Neighbours 80’s) and Maggie Grace (Taken, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn) and set in the future, Lockout follows a falsely convicted ex-government agent (Pearce), whose one chance at obtaining freedom lies in the dangerous mission of rescuing the President’s daughter (Grace) from rioting convicts at an outer space maximumsecurity prison. Lockout was directed by Stephen St. Leger and James Mather from their script cowritten with Luc Besson.

Little Bit of Heaven May 4 The animated adventure Based on the Richard Matheson novel “Earthbound,” which centers on a married man who starts an affair with a young stranger, only to realize that she may actually be the ghost of a long-dead woman driven by something much more than earthly passion.

Mothers Day

Men in Black III

Now Is Good

After a bank robbery gone wrong, three brothers head for home, hoping their Mother (Rebecca De Mornay) can provide them with a getaway. The youngest brother, Johnny (Matt O’Leary), has been shot, and their back-stabbing former partner has gotten away with all the cash.

Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones in the next movie of the MIB Moneymaking Franchise! The Big Cast is back in action. When the world is threatened by an evil alien, Agent Jay travels back in time to 1969, where he teams up with the younger Agent Kay to stop an evil villain named Boris (Jemaine Clement) from destroying the world in the future.

A girl dying of leukemia compiles a list of things she’d like to do before passing away. Topping the list is her desire to lose her virginity.

May 4

May 25

But when the brothers get home, they find that all their Emma Thompson will play stuff is gone, and Mother is take-charge MIB operative Agent Oh, who is monitoring a nowhere to be found: She lost the house months ago in prison breakout. Expect more of the ‘last two MIB’s’ so you a foreclosure. The new owners, Beth and Daniel Sohapi (Jaime King and Frank Grillo), and their guests, gathered for probably don’t want to wait to rent this one! an ill-timed birthday party, become the brothers’ unwitting hostages.

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... another round-up of the New Movies coming very soon to a Cinema near you ...

May 25

She’s joined by War Horse star Jeremy Irvine, as the two strike up a presumably doomed romance and set out to fulfill her bucket list bonk.


Horoscopes by Yvonne Rae

Aries 21st Mar - 19th Apr An invitation to a celebration is not to be missed. You really will be in the mood for action and as some of your decisions affect other peoples’ lives, think carefully before you express your desire for change, it has to be thought through constructively.

Taurus 20th Apr - 20th May Spring is always uplifting and you

are one of Nature’s creative signs with a love of beauty on all levels. It is important therefore that you put the stress of the past 12 months behind you and try to plan ahead with a happy frame of mind. This way you will succeed!

Gemini 21st May - 20th Jun Your mind is buzzing with ideas and

family or friends will be asked for their opinion on your latest brainwave. It is important to listen to feedback as you may pick up a few new ideas, be prepared to take the criticism as this too may prove constructive. Write down your plans before carrying them out. And wait a day or so before you declare action!

Cancer 21st Jun - 21st Jul Taking on other peoples’ worries is not the answer. Plan that trip or try your hand at something new it’s amazing how much pleasure you can derive from becoming a little more adventurous, no excuses, now is the time to be in good company to lift your spirits, laughter is the best medicine

Leo 22nd Jul - 22nd Aug Whether you are young or old, this month should find you feeling more energetic and wanting to be involved more actively. Gently does it, if you are new to the work and be prepared to act as a support rather than jump in and show how clever you are. A really clever person is gentle and subtle. Be happy!

Virgo 23rd Aug - 22nd Sept Your life seems to be in limbo, as you

feel at the beck and call of others, you are feeling the changes that are the result of new demands made upon you. Do what you can, but look after your health if stress levels become too much, lighten up and plan how you would like your life to go, it is you who makes the final decision!

Libra 23rd Sept - 22nd Oct April and May could prove to be very

gig guide April

The Lions Bar, Market Street, Stalybridge

BOTH APRIL & MAY

Saturdays - DJ Mark - Chart & Dance & Cheese DJ Damo, Go Funk Yourself (in the den) Sundays - Showing All Sports, 8pm Movie and XBox Practice Thursday’s - DJ Gilly - Indie & Chart Friday’s - DJ MP Chart & Dance - downstairs DJ Kirk Jones with Seduction Bangla City Restaurant / Grafton Street, Hyde Friday 27th April - Robbie Williams Friday 25th May - QUEEN Friday 29th June - Motown Lions Bar (same as February Listings)

Want to get your bar, pub, event or club listed on the next ‘Gig Guide’ ? Contact ‘Richard Sunday’ on facebook or ring 07876 752 514 or email: rick@BARandCLUBBING.com for more details! Professionally Designed Adverts, Great Local Distribution, Rates as Affordable as £5 per week!

testing times for you, in any kind of relationship, certainly you must be careful in any promises you make, whether it’s emotional or business. When feeling unsure, ask for time and don’t be bullied!

Scorpio 23rd Oct - 21st Nov Your ruling planet Pluto, is on the

move again and you are in the mood for change and empowerment. The torrid or the frozen zone, not for you the temperate plane. You may not get what you desire, this may cause a loss of self confidence but use your charm and personality and keep a lightness of spirit, you will be more popular this way. Be patient!

Sagittarius 22nd Nov - 21st Dec The next couple of months will make demands on you. These are important times as you will be in great demand and not always for the right reasons. Plan your work schedule as well as your play times. You still have bills to pay and you need to feel secure before you can let the party scene take over, there’s much to celebrate!

Capricorn 22nd Dec - 19th Jan The next couple of months will

find you planning enterprises for which you will need public participation, each stage of the way. Keep a tight rein on your spending for it will be too easy to forget the budget. Use your influence and ask the top people to help out, they will be happy to oblige!

Aquarius 20th Jan - 18th Feb Be wise, do not allow yourself to

be drawn into the troubles of someone, who only wants you to pay their debts. This is a difficult time for a lot of people, so step back when you are told in no uncertain manner that they were depending on you! On a lighter note the year improves socially as time rolls on. Enjoy!

Pisces 20th Feb - 20th Mar You may find that you are becoming

more interested in the artistic side of your nature and are looking for more in-depth meaning to your life. For some of you the time is right to move in a new direction. Do not hold back on any new awakening if it can help improve the quality of life. It is never too late to study or learn about life!

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This Voucher entitles the bearer to TWO Main Meals for the price of ONE Monday to Thurs Nights up to 31st May 2012 (not inc Bank Holidays) NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED

The Curry Cottage - Dukinfield This Voucher entitles the bearer to TWO Main Meals for the price of ONE Valid until 31st May 2012

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Bridgefield Curry Lounge - Stalybridge YOU MUST RING TO PRE-BOOK YOUR TABLE FIRST and bring this voucher

LIONS Bar - Stalybridge This Voucher entitles the bearer to 1 free shot of Cactus Jack or Sour Dragon with your first main drink purchased - 1 per customer only Valid until 31st May 2012 NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED

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Do You Remember ?? We all have moments when our mind is a blank and we really should remember more, what follows are some tips to help you remember more things, more easily! Remembering Peoples Names Face Association: Examine a person’s face discreetly when you are introduced. Try to find an unusual feature, whether ears, hairline, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, complexion, etc. Create an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in your mind. The association may be to link the person with someone else you know with the same name. Alternatively it may be to associate a rhyme or image of the name with the person’s face or defining feature. Repetition: When you are introduced, ask for the person to repeat their name. Use the name yourself as often as possible (without overdoing it!). If it is unusual, ask how it is spelled or where it is comes from, and if appropriate, exchange cards. Keep in mind that the more often you hear and see the name, the more likely it is to sink in. Also, after you have left that person’s company, review the name in your mind several times. If you are particularly keen you might decide to write it down and make notes.

Become interested in what you need to remember: When you take a genuine interest in a person it’s easier to set their information and details in your head and keep it there - the same applies to education, you excel in a subject that you can connect to and be passionate about, so to help you remember other things (as well as names) then get passionate about what you need to know and recall.

Other Tips

Group subjects and information in ways that make sense to you for easier retrieval later. Make one subject relate to another. Try using white noise tapes for better concentration while reading. Read the material out loud, or walk around while reading. Read it into a recorder and play it back. Use your hand to scan the page as you read, keeping it constantly moving forward so you are not reading the same lines over and over. Make silly rhymes or sing the information to a favorite tune. Always repeat names and make an association with what they do or what they look like. Example: Carolyn the caterer really cares about clams.

Sneaky Tips: If a third party whose name you can’t recall enters a conversation, says Martin, “confidently introduce the person whose name you do know: ‘This is Heather Davis.’ Then just let the mystery woman complete the introduction.”

Be as visual as you can with your memory. Picture the things you would like to remember stacked on something you already have in your memory. Example: Picture the items you would like to remember to get at the supermarket on different parts of your body, making the images as outrageous in color and movement as you can.

Keep Notes/Records: When meeting people for the first time like new contacts or business associates make a note on your phone or diary, examples of this might be ... Richard Sunday, Camera Guy, Magazine, Grey Hair ... a short descriptive set of details will associate a person quickly with your memory

See yourself with purple bananas on your head, a black carton of milk on your shoulder, balancing three square cans of soup on the right foot and a bottle of soy sauce on the left foot with a smoking newspaper stuffed between your teeth and apples popping out of the left ear while tiny loaves on bread dangle from the other ear!

Remembering other things

Learn to take notes the way that works for you. Outline forms work best for some, while

paragraphs work best for others. Drawing a picture or diagram of an idea may help you remember better. Get curious. Before reading, scan the material very fast, just to get a vague idea of what the material is about, then ask yourself as many questions as you can about what you would like to know. Keep a pen and notepad by your bed to jot things down in the middle of the night when you recall or think of something which you might later need. Keep your memory sharp by playing memory games. This mental exercise is good for you and will help you think out of the box and find alternative ways of doing a job or a work task. Eat more of these foods to assist your brain!

Blueberries, Salmon, Rosemary, Grapes, Onions, Red Beets Spinach, Eggplant, Cherries Broccoli & Apples ... and not forgetting Exercise According to the Alzheimer’s Association, 5.3 million Americans suffer from Alzheimer’s disease, and it is now the seventh leading cause of death. No cure for Alzheimer’s exists right now. Regular exercise, however, has been shown to improve cognitive performance in older adults, and researchers say regular exercise is better than supplements and prescription drugs in treating the advance of Alzheimer’s. Researchers from the University of Washington conducted a six-month clinical trial with 33 participants, 17 of whom were women. All showed early signs of Alzheimer’s disease and were between the ages of 55 and 85. The experiment participants underwent a six-month intensive aerobic training program, spending 45 minutes to an hour four times each week on a stationary bicycle or treadmill. At the end of the six months, the participants saw improvement in mental agility, while the control group showed no improvement.



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