!
CONTENTS be nice be happy be positive be inspired be different be motivated be challenged be yourself be loved The Small Print / CONTACT DETAILS ADVERT BOOKINGS - to arrange an informal meeting please contact us on 07876 752 514 or 0161 330 4121 - BARandCLUBBING.com or email: rick@BARandCLUBBING.com MAGAZINE DISTRIBUTORS want to stock BARandCLUBBING mag in your shop or venue (FREE Magazine) call 0161 330 4121 or 07876 752 514 and we will add you to our ever expanding distribution list. For current list of stockists please see www.BARandCLUBBING.com/blog DEADLINE for December/January Issue: FRIDAY 11TH NOVEMBER
page 4
August/September Issue released on or around FRIDAY 9TH DECEMBER
Placebo p6 Gig Guide p8 Jokes p10 Archive p12 New Gallery p14 Party Season p16 Facts & Web p18 Horoscopes p19 Latest Movies p20 Shaun Lever p21 Vouchers p22 Motivation p23
GIG GUIDE / ADVERT SUBMISSIONS Please email submissions or listings using the Contact Form on the BARandCLUBBING website no later than FRIDAY 11TH NOVEMBER
CONTRIBUTIONS We welcome creative individuals to contact us to offer submissions of written articles relating to the magazine. Articles and Photo contributions are welcome, Prints & Transparencies are sent at the owners risk as BARandCLUBBING cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage please email to rick@BARandCLUBBING.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS: Get BARandCLUBBING Magazine delivered to your door every issue for a year for just £12.00 - Please send a PAYPAL ONLINE PAYMENT payable to ‘sales@BARandCLUBBING.com’ including your name, email and delivery address (if magazine is being sent to a different address)
LEGAL BLURB © copyright 2011 SmallWorld Web Hosting/ BARandCLUBBING.com all rights reserved Nothing in this magazine can be reproduced in whole or part without the written permission from the publishers. We have done our utmost to
ensure all content is correct & accurate but will emphasise that we, SmallWorld Web Hosting accept no responsibility for any mistakes or omissions. All opinions expressed in BARandCLUBBING are that of the contributor and may not be shared by the magazine or its publishers. PLEASE PASS THE MAGAZINE ONTO A FRIEND OR RECYCLE AFTER USE :-)
Welcome to the ‘October and It’s easy to get sluggish, stressed and have bouts of negativity in November’ Issue of BARandCLUBBING Magazine! this fast-moving world so we aim As a bi-monthly print it seems ages since the last Issue was out but its been a crazy few weeks of writing and designing to get to press on time! With this year flying by at a hectic pace we decided to ease you into the Party Season with more Fun Photos and a couple of extra articles on the local scene, we’d like to invite you ‘our readers’ to send in your fun stories and experiences that we may publish in a future issue. Here at BARandCLUBBING Magazine we like to think ourselves as upbeat & positive and we like to bring you fun and inspiring articles to pique your interest.
to bring you features to make you think about life in a fresh and positive way.
Nobody wants to just look at pages of adverts so our aim from the launch last year was to pack in as much content and local photos to give you a stimulating read! In this Issue you can find ... fresh Photo Galleries with the Archive Gallery from 2007, a bonus page of Jokes, Party Season articles, Music from Shaun Lever, our pick of the latest Movies, Gig Guide and our extra Inspiring Articles. Have a Great Halloween, don’t forget your Fancy Dress and have a Fun and Safe Bonfire Night too Richard Sunday, Editor/Dogsbody
page 5
Placebo Buttons ? The Misconception: All buttons placed around you do your bidding. The Truth: Many public buttons are only there to comfort you. You press the doorbell button, you hear the doorbell ring. You press the lift button, it lights up. You press the button on the vending machine, a soft drink comes rattling down the chute. Your whole life, you’ve pressed buttons and been rewarded. It’s conditioning at its simplest – just like a rat pressing a lever to get a pellet of food. The thing about buttons though is there seems to be some invisible magic taking place between the moment you press them down and when you get the expected result. You can never really be sure you caused the soft drink to appear without opening up the vending machine to see how it works. Maybe there’s a man inside who pulls out the can of soda and puts it in the chute. Maybe there’s a camera watching the machine, and someone in a distant control room tells the machine to dispense your pop. You just don’t know, and that’s how conditioning works. As long as you get the result you were looking for after you press the button, it doesn’t matter. You will be more likely to press the button in the future (or less likely to stop). The problem here is that some buttons in modern life don’t actually do anything at all. The magic between the button press and the result you want is all in your head. You never catch on – because you are not so smart. For instance, the close buttons don’t close the lift doors in most lifts built in the United States since the Americans with Disabilities Act. The button is there for workers and emergency personnel to use, and it only works with a key. Whether or not you press the buttons, the doors will eventually close. But if you do press the buttons, and later the doors close, a little spurt of happiness will cascade through your brain. Your behaviour was just reinforced. You will keep pressing the button in the future. Non-functioning mechanisms like this are called placebo buttons, and they’re everywhere. Sound engineers and video editors sometimes press a key on their computer keyboards or click around with the mouse and change absolutely nothing, or make the screen go blank for a few moments. When clients ask for nonsensical changes to a project while hovering over the worker’s shoulder, they can press the placebo button and tell the client they’ve made the requested change. Most people will be satisfied and convince themselves they’ve seen a slight difference. Computers and timers now control the lights at most intersections, but at one time little buttons at crosswalks allowed people to trigger the signal change. Those buttons are mostly all disabled now, but the task of replacing or removing all of them was so great most cities just left them up. You still press them though, because the light eventually changes.
from the book ‘YOU are NOT so SMART’ by David McRaney
page 6
Pole Dancing comes to Stalybridge! Don’t worry, it’s not the launch of a new local adult club but another way to keep fit and have fun doing so! Over the last few weeks on a Thursday Night, the SODA Bar has been hosting a ‘Pole Dancing Exercise Class’ during the early evening, brought to you by instructor ‘Caley Stone’ It began (before we went to print) on Thursday 1st September spreading across 5 weeks until the last night on Thursday 29th September beginning at 6pm until 8:30pm with lessons on several moves and dances to go into a final routine. Lessons are just £10 per person with only 5 people to a session, monies raised will be going to Cancer Research! Two representatives from ‘Ann Summers’ will be in attendance each week as well to add some extra spice to the nights! Caley recently won a beauty pageant called Miss Community Lancashire 2011 and the National is on Saturday 24th September. Caley says “part of my role is to raise money for a selected charity, so this is a great project for me to do and I hope to see some local ladies at the bar over the weeks” Caley Stone on pole, middle with the Anne Summers Reps
gig guide October The Lions Bar, Market Street, Stalybridge Saturday 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th - DJ Gilly - Chart & Dance Go Funk Yourself (in the den) Sunday 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, 30th - Quiz & Movie Night (from 6pm) Thursday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - DJ Gilly - Indie & Chart - drinks £2 Friday 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th - DJ MP The Sportsman, Mottram Road, Stalybridge Saturday 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th - Karaoke Night Friday 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th - Karaoke Night The Reindeer Inn, Huddersfield Road, Stalybridge Saturday 1st - Music Quiz / Saturday 8th - Steal (Band) Saturday 22nd - ‘Cook Off’ Soup Night / Saturday 22nd - Mexican Night Saturday 29th - Jamming Session Sunday 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, 30th - Quiz Night Friday 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th - Karaoke Night The Lounge Bar, Grosvenor Street, Stalybridge Saturday 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th - DJ Anthony - Chart & Dance Friday 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th - Live Acts every week! Soda Bar, Market Street, Stalybridge Saturday 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, 29th - DJ Arthur Sunday 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, 30th - DJ Arthur Thursday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - DJ Tina Harrison Friday 7th, 14th, 21st, 28th - DJ Arthur
Soda Bar, Market Street, Stalybridge Saturday 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th - DJ Arthur Sunday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - DJ Arthur Thursday 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th - DJ Tina Harrison Friday 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th - DJ Arthur Rififi Nightclub / Amber Lounge, Market Street, Stalybridge Thursday 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th - Rockyoke / Release Student Night Friday 11th - Ooshuaia with Frater & Stent Want to get your bar, pub, event or club listed on the next ‘Gig Guide’ ? Contact ‘Richard Sunday’ on facebook or ring 07876 752 514 or email: rick@BARandCLUBBING.com for more details!
Rififi Nightclub / Amber Lounge, Market Street, Stalybridge Saturday 1st October - X Factor on the Big Screen + Special Guest Thursday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - Rockyoke / Release Student Night Friday 14th - Ooshuaia with Frater & Stent Halloween Weekend Friday 28th to Sunday 30th! Saturday 29th - Halloween Warm Up Sunday 30th - Halloween Masquarade Party
November The Lions Bar, Market Street, Stalybridge Thursday 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th - DJ Gilly - Indie & Chart - drinks £2 Friday 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th - DJ MP Saturday 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th - DJ Gilly - Chart & Dance - Go Funk Yourself (in the den) Sunday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - Quiz & Movie Night (from 6pm) The Sportsman, Mottram Road, Stalybridge Friday 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th - Karaoke Night Saturday 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th - Karaoke Night The Reindeer Inn, Huddersfield Road, Stalybridge Saturday 5th - Music Quiz / Saturday 12th - Past & Present (Act) Saturday 19th - Theme Night / Saturday 26th - Jamming Session Sunday 6th, 13th, 20th, 27th - Quiz Night Friday 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th - Karaoke Night The Lounge Bar, Grosvenor Street, Stalybridge Friday 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th - Live Acts every week! Saturday 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th - DJ Anthony - Chart & Dance
Facts! Angry Birds is a Hightly Addictive Game from the makers ‘Rovio’ There are three main games in their library at the moment (with more being made) o Angry Birds o Angry Birds Seasons o Angry Birds, RIO Rovio have had over 300 Million Downloads with this figure rising every day, available as Free downloads and Paid (more levels and game-play options) popular on the iPad, iPhone and Android Devices!
Join ‘BAR and CLUBBING’ on facebook by going to: facebook.com/ BARandCLUBBING
Follow ‘BAR and CLUBBING’ on Twitter twitter.com/BARandCLUBBING for up-to date details on Content Promotions and Publishing/Distribution updates! Michael Chorost, Ph.D explains why Angry Birds is so addictive ... 1, 2, 3, 4,
It’s simple with no learning curve to get started It’s rewarding, we get a primitive pleasure in blowing s*** up It’s realistic, the physics of the game are just how you expect them to be It’s funny how the creatures sound, the laughing & backflips
The anticipation of reward puts your dopamine system in overdrive, all that dopamine release makes you compulsively want to know what will happen when you fling the next bird. this is addictive as ‘some’ of us are more susceptible to this dopamine floating around our synapses and just keep flinging and flinging and playing and .... Gamers play over 200 Million Minutes a day which is equal to 16 years of gameplay every hour of every day, are you sure your staff are working?? Players have hurled over 100 Billion Angry Birds, there are an estimated 100 Billion real life birds alive on Planet Earth!
page 9
Bar Room Jokes ‘seen on facebook’ The kids next door have challenged me to a water fight, I’m just updating my status as I wait for the kettle to boil .. An elderly man is stopped by the police walking on the side of the road at 1:00 A.M. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body.”The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?” The man replies, “That would be my wife.” A Scotsman takes a huge jar of urine to a clinic and pays to have it tested. When the results come back he discovers that there is absolutely no sign of any illness. He gets on the phone and says, ‘It’s me, Willie. Tell your Aunty Mary that there’s nothing wrong with you, her, me, Grandpa, or the dog.’ Funny Definitions s Pokemon – A Jamaican proctologist s Rectum – What women do to all the cars they drive s Dilate – To show up late for your own funeral s Urine – The opposite of being out s Dust – Mud without the juice s Impotence – No hard feelings s Adorable – The button you push when you arrive at someone’s home s Kidnap – What children do when they are tired s Pharmacist – Someone who helps out on the farm s Clothes Dryer – Sock eating machine s Derange – what she should be cooking dinner on s Yawn – The only time a married man is able to open his mouth s House – What you had before you got divorced s Disney Land – A people trap run by a mouse s Easy – A woman with the sexual morals of a man s Forum – How men feel about boobs s Intense – Where you sleep when you camp s Kidney – Half-way up a child’s leg s Stop Watch – What men do when they see an attractive womanw Why do owls avoid making love in a storm? Because it’s too wet to woo Why do women live longer than men? Because they don’t have wives! Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life! Do people in Australia call the rest of the world ‘up over’? These two strings walk upto a bar... The first string walks in and orders and the bartender throws him out and yells “I don’t serve strings in this bar... The other string ruffs himself up on the street and curls up and orders... The bartender shouts, Hey, didn’t you hear what I told your buddy?” String says “Yeah.” Bartender says, “aren’t you a string?” ... String says, “No, I’m a frayed knot...” A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing around in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. About an hour later the manager comes out of his office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”, they asked as they moved along. “Because,” said the manager, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.” It was a doctor’s regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home and, aware of his habit, the bartender would always have the drink waiting for him at precisely 5:18 PM. One afternoon as the end of the work-day neared the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract but, thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink, then exclaimed: “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri”, to which the bartender replied, “No, I’m sorry, it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.” One day some policemen found three hand grenades on the street and decided to tyake them back to the Station “What if one of the grenades explodes?” asked one of the officers. “It doesn’t matter” reassured another. “We;; say we just found two”
Mother: ‘What did you learn in school today?’ Son: ‘Not enough they say I have to go back again tomorrow’ One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely My girlfriend wants me to stay in with her tonight and watch some stupid sounding DVD about a crazed clown that embarks on a mad killing spree. I don’t really fancy ‘it’. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does. Why did Harry name his dog Carpenter? because he kept doing little jobs around the house! A guy walks into a bar and notices three men and a dog playing poker. The dog is playing beautifully. “That¹s a smart dog,” the man says. “Not really,” says one of the players. “Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.” Few women admit their age, few men act it Why do we wash bath towels? Are we not really clean when we use them?
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, ‘I think I’ve lost an electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first says, ‘Yes, I’m positive...’ Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, a tub of cottage chesse, says to them, “We don’t serve your kind in here.” One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, “Why not? We’re cultured individuals.” A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn’t have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, “Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don’t start anything.” Women need a reason to have sex .. Men just need a place! A very old man shuffles into a pub and sees a beautiful young woman sitting on the other side of the room at the bar. Fancying his chances he goes over, sits down next to her and says, “Do I come here often?” It is better to have loved a short man, than never to have loved a tall. A customer is ordering food at ‘The Bridgefield Curry House’: “Waiter, whats this Chicken Tarka?” Waiter: “Sir it’s the same as Chicken Tikka, but a little ‘Otter” When my wife got to forty, I wanted to change her for ‘two twenties’ I’ve just found out my mother was a Yorkshire Terrier. Well I’ll be a Son of a Bitch. I spent all night saving pictures of Quagmire from family guy. I’ve used up one Giggity hard drive A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… She has 14 kids but doesn’t really care Man City have tried to buy Gadaffi for £50m. They haven’t seen him yet, just heard every one is after him! “Dear, why are there broken condoms on our couch?” “Dave... Would you please call our children by their names.”
There should be a TV show where people have to pass a round of singing before competing to see who has the most tragic back story. I saw a bloke being completely henpecked by his girlfriend on The Jeremy Kyle Show. You could really see who wears the tracksuit bottoms in their relationship
READER CONTRIBUTIONS A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!”, the man shouted, “This is her husband!” from Laura Kolbusz ley-Elizabeth Fitton A woman meets a man in a bar and goes back to his place. During the night she notices 3 rows of teddy bears on shelves in his bedroom. The bottom shelf has small bears, middle shelf medium bears and large bears on the top shelf. She thinks he must be sensitive and could be the one. All night she pleasures him as much as she can. In the morning she asks him ‘How was I?’ He replies ‘not bad at all, help yourself to any prize off the middle shelf’ from Ric Thedaddy Robinson
My pet duck got arrested today, turns out hes a quack dealer from Cathy Brown
I made a hotel out of little cheesy biscuits. It’s not exactly the Ritz from Hayley-Elizabeth Fitton
You know what often gets overlooked? . . garden fences from David Jackson
page 11
The Lions Bar Sponsors the Archive Gallery
The Party Season With Summer a distant memory and the best half of the year gone in a flash already all we can look forward to are more rainy weather as the dark nights descend! British Summertime is questionable at the best of times and you have been very lucky if you managed to get to a couple of barbeques at the same time as a cloudless sky and hot sun. Darker nights do lend a hand to the social side of your life though, as they create some of the ‘going out atmosphere’ so what have you planned for the coming Autumn and Winter nights? One thing I can say for Tamesiders, is that they don’t need an escuse to party, and to get togged out in Fancy Dress if it so requires! This ‘late’ part of the year lends us some great dates to take advantage of this with the main night being Halloween. Halloween in Stalybridge, for example, brings you the usual Hen nights and Birthday groups dressed up as school-girls, secretaries, fairies and angels with the lads dressed up as school-girls, secretaries, fairies and angels too, but most of the time Super-Heroes! Bonfire Night is the next main event in the Calender which
breaks up the momentum of the bar crawl and distresses many a bar manager when the night gets off to a slower than usual start (that and the X Factor excuse too!) A Bonfire Weekend is more of a family event or something to take your partner to where you can still enjoy several alcoholic beverages and take in the infinite patterns of fire lighting up the dark night giving yourself a good excuse to wear those trendy patterned wellies and eating black toffee. As a ‘Social Photographer’ over the last ten years you can imagine I’ve seen stacks of crazy party people out on the streets of Tameside, going back to the ‘Original Sunday Nights’ of when Ashton was rocking (you can see some of those in the Archive Galleries) to the scene today in Stalybridge, check out a small selection of photo’s on this page, recognise anyone? We’ll continue this article in the next issue of BAR and CLUBBING following a Christmas theme, but please feel free to email your funny stories of nights gone by and we hope to use what we can. Please send your funny stories of nights out (with or without Fancy Dress) to rick@barandclubbing.com and we hope to publish them in a future issue! Richard Sunday
fancy dress story It was the 15th anniversary of my Mum’s death, her name was Valerie. I was invited to a ‘Stars in their eye’s’ Fancy Dress Party on this night for a friends birthday. There was to be a karaoke there, so I decided last minute to go as Amy Winehouse. I don’t normally do karaoke but when with the intention of singing Valerie in remembrance of my Mum. It took a couple of hours to get ready, I started about 4ish. Big hair, big make up and Tattoo’s which my daughter spent about an hour drawing on.
Get your Business Listed with BAR and CLUBBING!
At 6 i had to set off as i had to go to my boyfriends house in Staley-Vegas first. I pulled into a petrol station to top up and the assistant looked at me a bit strange. I laughed and said i don’t normally look like this, at which point the radio news said Amy Winehouse found dead in her flat in London today. I felt all the blood drain from my face and got goose bumps all over. I looked at the assistant who nodded to me and said yes its true. I was totally freaked out and said OMG over and over, I couldn’t believe it. I called my daughter who was also then freaked out. I wondered what to do, weather to still go as I was or not, I just drove freaking out on the way. My boyfriend phoned and said have you heard the news, i said yes I’m totally freaked out but cant talk as I’im driving. I was almost in tears most of the way there, what do I do, what do I do? By the time I reached Stalybridge I had decided to go for it, and sing Valerie for both my Mum and Amy. I won best fancy dress, sang Valerie badly and had a fab night, although most of the night people at the venue where asking me all night, have you heard. LOL what a freaky night.
Congratulations if you got featured! Photography from between May and November 2009 © copyright, Richard Sunday
Thanks to Anita Holland for her Fancy Dress Story
page 17
• • • • • • • • • • • •
Tittle: The dot over an ‘i’ or ‘j.’ Lunule: The white, crescent shaped part at the top of a nail. Crepuscular Rays: Rays of sunlight coming from a certain point in the sky. Also known as “God’s rays.” Ferrule: The metal part on a pencil. Gynecomastia: Man Boobs Muntin: The strip separating window panes. Morton’s Toe: When your second toe is bigger than your big toe. Mondegreen: Misheard lyrics. Petrichor: The smells outside after it has been raining. Philtrum: The groove located just below the nose and above the lips. Purlicue: The space between the thumb and the forefingers. Armscye: The armhole in most clothing.
• • •
•
• • • •
Arms Akimbo: Exactly as it sounds like. Hands on your hips. Desire Path: A path created by natural means, simply because it is the “shortest or most easily navigated” way. Semantic Satiation: What happens when you say a word for so long that it loses its meaning. Limit limit limit limit limit limit limit limit limit. Skeuomorph: “A design feature copied from a similar artifact in another material, even when not functionally necessary.” For example, rivets on jeans, copper color on pennies, the shutter sound on a digital camera. Brannock Device: What is used to measure your feet at the shoe store. Aglet: The plastic coating on a shoelace. Wamble: Stomach rumble. Feat: A dangling piece of curly hair.
•
• • •
•
Paresthesia: The pins and needles feeling you get when part of your body falls asleep. Bonus! This is known as obdormition. Phosphenes: The lights you see when you close your eyes and press your hands to them. Peen: The side opposite the hammer’s striking side. Rectal Tenesmus: The feeling of incomplete defecation. We’ve all been there. Dysania: The state of finding it hard to get out of the bed in the morning.
check out these random cool clips on youtube search with the ‘exact text’ under each screen-shot below!
Google please hire .me
iPad 2 Review - Hands On [HD]
X Factor (the official page is the best)
Kid plays instrument awesomely
Dirt Devil-The Exorcist
T-Shirt War!!
Horoscopes by Yvonne Rae
Libra 22nd Sept - 22nd Oct
You will recognise changes around you, some of which will affect your personal relationships while others concern your finances. Time to assess your life and the things that are of paramount importance to your wellbeing, for instance, family, friends, and work colleagues. This is the time of year when confidences must be respected, yours as well as others!
Scorpio 22rd Oct - 21st Nov
You may feel ‘under par’ at the present time, an ideal way to overcome this is to stop worrying about other people’s problems and minimise trouble’s by treating them as a challenge. New technology will offer you a chance to improve your qualifications. Dress up go out and make new friends, Stay happy!
Sagittarius 22nd Nov - 21st Dec
Times are changing and so new demands will take precedence over what seemed to be a settled organised period. Well life is fluid, so embrace the changes by using your imagination to bring about more exciting results. Sagittarians are very quick to learn and there is no better time than now. Live within your income, Spread happiness!
Capricorn 22nd Dec - 20th Jan
Preparation is the keynote to success, never more so than in any new venture or when going for an interview. Do not take anything for granted, find out all the facts you may be asked about, whether it is important will only be apparent if you are offered the opportunity to continue to work or represent in a new way, these could be exciting times ahead. Be Happy!
Aquarius 21st Jan - 19th Feb
Your planet Uranus has just entered Aries and is beginning a new cycle of experience, a certain restlessness can be expected, as you realise that you can make decisions for the future. A new adventure is on the horizon, be wise in your decisions, be careful to think logically and do not rush any plans through especially where finances are concerned. Enjoy the planning stages!
Pisces 20th Feb - 20th Mar
You will find that your life is very busy as the strong planetary line up is opening new avenues to meeting people and a new opportunity could present itself requiring your outlook to grow with the challenges that you take on. Think in a positive way and do not overwork yourself but give of your best!
Aries 21st Mar - 20th Apr
Powerful feelings are felt as Uranus the planet of the future and unexpected events is firmly in your sign for the next seven years. Make sure therefore that you do not get in to situations that are damaging or talked into any financial deals that leave you out of pocket. Uranus always brings change to the sun sign it inhabits. It could be a roller-coaster ride!
Taurus 21st Apr - 21st May
As we go towards the end of October you may feel you need a little extra care or help as you may be feeling slightly under par, you must also protect yourself from any form of stress that you feel, it will pass! The planets are so strongly opposing at the moment that it would be easy to take offence where none is intended. Take care of your bills first, try not to worry, think of how much you have achieved!
Gemini 22nd May - 21st Jun
It is important that you draw on your inner strength to carry out the plans that you may have had thrust upon you. By all means be helpful but make it very clear to all concerned that you have your own life, and cannot always be there to prop others up. Make your plans and stick to them, there are people around who think you are a pushover. Smile sweetly as you say ‘no.’
Cancer 22nd Jun - 22nd Jul
What an expensive year it has been up to now. Unexpected events brought bills and the people you thought you could depend on to share the burden did not want to know. This year you are seeing people for what they really are, you have also discovered that you have true friends. Plenty of activity for fun times ahead, but put some money away for the rainy day!
Leo 23rd Jul - 22nd Aug
29 Ways to Stay Creative, written and designed by ‘TOFU Design Studio’ of Japan, www.to-fu.tv check out the great video on YouTube (of the same name) Check out more fun, creative and positive articles in the next Issue of BARandCLUBBING Magazine!
Travel and holidays are strongly accented and connections with overseas ties will be on your mind for awhile. Towards the end of the year changes in attitude will bring peace of mind. There is much to do and this month will activate changes connected with home life. Embrace the changes, your loving nature will be needed more than ever now!
Virgo 23rd Aug - 21st Sept
It is your time of the year, with a lot of changes around you, whether you take the view that it’s time to move forward or stay put, you are being assessed by your seniors for promotion. Only the best will do, each and everyone of us has our own idea of what that means for us, if you have family your priorities are most certainly different to that of a single person. Be happy!
page 19
Latest Movies! Real Steel October 7
Boxing has gone hi-tech, Real Steel stars Hugh Jackman as Charlie Kenton, a washed-up fighter who lost his chance at a title when 2000-pound, 8-foot-tall steel robots took over the ring. Now nothing but a small-time promoter, Charlie earns just enough money piecing together low-end bots from scrap metal to get from one underground boxing venue to the next. When Charlie hits rock bottom, he reluctantly teams up with his estranged son Max (Dakota Goyo) to build and train a championship contender. As the stakes in the brutal, no-holds-barred arena are raised, Charlie and Max, against all odds, get one last shot at a comeback fight.
The Thing (2011) October 14
... another round-up of the New Movies coming very soon to a Cinema near you ... In Time
October 28
In the not-too-distant future Antarctica: an extraordinary the aging gene has been continent of awesome beauty. switched off. To avoid overIt is also home to an isolated population, time has become outpost where a discovery full the currency and the way of scientific possibility becomes people pay for luxuries and a mission of survival when an necessities. alien is unearthed by a crew of international scientists. The rich can live forever, while The shape-shifting creature, the rest try to negotiate for accidentally unleashed at this their immortality. A poor young marooned colony, has the abilman who comes into a fortune ity to turn itself into a perfect of time, though too late to help replica of any living being. It can look just like you or me, but inside, it remains inhuman. his mother from dying. He ends up on the run from a In the thriller The Thing, paranoia spreads like an epidemic corrupt police force known as ‘time keepers! among a group of researchers as they’re infected, one by one, by a mystery from another planet.
Killing Bono
Puss in Boots
Melancholia
Based on real events, KILLING BONO tells the story of young Irish rocker Neil McCormick and his younger brother, Ivan, who attempt to become rock stars but can only look on as their school friends form U2 and become the biggest band in the world.
Way before Puss ever met Shrek, our suave and furry feline hero goes on a swashbuckling ride, as he teams with mastermind Humpty Dumpty and the street-savvy Kitty to steal the famed Goose that lays the Golden Eggs.
Melancholia is a 2011 science fiction drama film written and directed by Lars von Trier, starring Kirsten Dunst, Charlotte Gainsbourg and Kiefer Sutherland.
November 4
The film is based on Neil McCormick’s memoir Killing Bono: I am Bono’s Doppelganger.
November 4
Voices of Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek and Billy Bob Thornton.
Happy Feet Two
Arthur Christmas
The sequel to “Happy Feet,” the Academy Award®- winning animated smash hit, “Happy Feet Two” returns audiences to the magnificent landscape of Antarctica in superb 3D.
Arthur Christmas, an Aardman production for Sony Pictures Animation, at last reveals the incredible, never-before seen answer to every child’s question: ‘So how does Santa deliver all those presents in one night?’ The answer: Santa’s exhilarating, ultra-high-tech operation hidden beneath the North Pole.
November 18
November 23
November 11
The narrative revolves around two sisters in dispute while the life of the planet is threatened as a large foreign body approaches, portending a deadly collision. Trier’s main idea for the film was to dramatise how a depressive person reacts more calmly than others in a situation of high stress.
The Muppets November 23
On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world’s biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman Mumble, The Master of Tap, has (Chris Cooper) to raze the Mupa problem because his tiny son, pet Theater and drill for the oil Erik, is choreo-phobic. Reluctant recently discovered beneath to dance, Erik runs away and the Muppets’ former stomping encounters The Mighty Sven, a grounds. To stage The Greatest But at the heart of the film is a Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to penguin who can fly! Mumble has no hope of competing story with the ingredients of a Christmas classic a family with this charismatic new role model. But things get worse save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite in a state of comic dysfunction and an unlikely hero, Arthur, the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie when the world is shaken by powerful forces. with an urgent mission that must be completed before now performs with a Reno casino tribute band called the Christmas morning dawns. Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate. With secret, signature, celebrity cameos.
page 20
Shaun Lever
Dancefloor Addict! Don’t forget you can add me on facebook for some ‘Geeky Tunage Chat’ and where to find me gigging over the coming weeks, check these tracks out on youtube and look out for my articles in future issues of BARandCLUBBING Magazine!
Sak Noel
Loca People Every year one big tacky dance record travels from the drunken lights of BCM across the waters to our town centre bars & clubs. This year “Loca People” driven by a short passage of broken English and inane Spanish dialogue like Manuel from Faulty towers lost in a nightclub builds over a cheeky tech-house groove and nice noisy drop. Not as catchy as last year’s “Americano” yet still manages to cross to most commercial dancefloors. Defo a winner and could well be one of the few dance records to break through in 2011
Nick Hannam Love You Girl
Currently huge on the other side of the penines and heading in this direction, this is almost a chilled out house record but getting hammered by the electro and jackin’ crowds. Reminiscent of Fish Go Deep’s “The Cure & The Cause” this beautiful dreamy cut reworking a minor R’n’B hit from Robin Thicke yeats ago gets the ladies strutting their sexy stuff and they guys singing.
Just Jack - Writers Block (Thomas Gold Remix) CLASSIC
Sometimes you can’t predict what’s going to happen in music, and in 2008 an unreleased remix of a forgettable track surfaced and stormed Ibiza. A burbly acidy bass builds up the track then all of a sudden the DJ smashes the crossfader over as the trademark orchestral sample intrudes a bouncy funky bass driven track. From start to finish this ones a gem and proof that you can turn an average track into a club monster just with a little remix.
Hollywood Hills - Tetra
Maroon 5
I heard a sneak preview of this a few months ago and fell in love with the track instantly. A wicked hypnotic groove in a Toolroom style builds to a huge breakdown which makes this an instant classic.
2011 will always be remembered as the year when house music became pop.
Moves Like Jagger
Not commercial to hit the floors of your local town centre but absolutetely worth owning a copy for your ipod.
Eddie Voyager
Where Rihanna turned out cheesy synth driven pop, Maroon 5 have instead dropped a brilliant party tune which in whatever form (there will be a thousand unofficial remixes by the time you read this!) is probably gonna be played out everywhere. Very good stuff from a band that once sent me to sleep.
Klub Killaz
Runaway (Piano Junkies Remix)
Time
If you’re 30 plus and remember big piano’s and breakbeats then I guarantee you’ll love this track. Piano Junkies have built up a following for pioneering this rave revival and it is really paying off! Here we see Nuyorican Soul’s “Runaway” rebuilt with some hypnotic piano chords that just scream “Whistle possee”.
What I love about Klub Killaz tunes is that they can transform something good into something completely different and on another level to the original. I wasn’t a fan of the Chase & Status original but what the lads do here is make this an uplifting piano driven hands in the air anthem breaking into some twisted electro stabs. Superbly done.
The Goonies - A**hole I Love a really noisy track! This is the noisiest one in recent months. Typical dirty dutch style but when the main body of the track hits you can’t stop shakin’. Like many dutch tunes most clubbers have heard it all before with “Miami Bitch” a couple of years back but this just has something extra and is well worth checking out. I challenge you to stay still listening to this loudly. It won’t happen!
page 21
Just Beauty @ Cocoa Beach Dukinfield
CHARLESTOWN Auto’s - Stalybridge
LIONS Bar - Stalybridge
This Voucher entitles the bearer to a Spray Tan for just £10 valid in October and November 2011
This Voucher entitles the bearer to MOT Class 4 - £35.00 MOT Class 7 - £45.00 Valid until 30th November 2011
This Voucher entitles the bearer to 1 free shot of Cactus Jack or Sour Dragon with your first main drink purchased - 1 per customer only Valid until 30th November 2011
NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
The Curry Cottage - Dukinfield This Voucher entitles the bearer to TWO Main Meals for the price of ONE Valid up to 30th November 2011 NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
Bridgefield Curry Lounge - Stalybridge YOU MUST RING TO PRE-BOOK YOUR TABLE FIRST and bring this voucher This Voucher entitles the bearer to TWO Main Meals for the price of ONE Monday to Thurs Nights up to 30th Nov 11 (not inc Bank Holidays) NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
BOOK IN YOUR OWN VOUCHER DEAL FOR OUR CHRISTMAS & NEW YEAR ISSUE included with adverts over 1/4 page or just £20 when booked alone! NO PHOTOCOPIES ACCEPTED
The Ultimate Guide to Motivation How to Achieve Any Goal One of the biggest challenges in meeting any goal, whether it be related to productivity, waking early, changing a habit, exercising, or just becoming happier, is finding the motivation to stick with it. If you can stick with a goal for long enough, you’ll almost always get there eventually. It just takes patience, and motivation. Motivation is the key, but it’s not always easy, day in and day out, to find that motivation. What follows is a guide to motivation using what I’ve learned over the last few years in a series of successful accomplishments, goals and habit changes. I’ve had many failures, but also many successes, and I’ve learned a lot from all of them. Motivation has been a particularly important topic of exploration for me. How Does Motivation Work? Before we get into specific methods, it’s useful to examine what motivation is, what it does, and how it works. Motivation is what drives you toward a goal, what keeps you going when things get tough, the reason you get up early to exercise or work late to finish a project. There are all kinds of motivations, of course, from positive to negative. Having a boss threaten to fire you is motivation — you’ll likely work harder to complete a project with that kind of pressure. But I find that positive motivation works better — if it’s something you really want to do, you’ll do a much better job than to avoid something you don’t want (such as being fired). So motivation, in its best form, is a way for you to want to do something. There may be times, for example, when you don’t feel like getting up early, and in those times you may seriously just want to sleep in (not that there’s anything wrong with that). But if you have a reason to want to get up early, something you really really want to do, you’ll jump up out of bed with excitement. The best motivation, then, is a way for you to really want something, to get excited about it, to be passionate about it. Remember that, as there are many other types of motivation (especially negative), but in my experience, this is the kind that works the best. There is only so long that you can go trying to motivate yourself to do something you don’t like to do, something you don’t want to do. But if you find ways to really want to do something, you can sustain your effort for much much longer.
8 Ways to Motivate Yourself From the Beginning I’ve found that it’s important to start out with the right motivation, because a good start can build momentum that you can sustain for a long time. If you start out right, you have a much better chance of succeeding. Here are some tips for starting out: 1) Start small. I’ve said this before, but that’s because it’s one of the most important tips in motivating yourself toward a goal. Don’t start out big! Start out with a ridiculously easy goal, and then grow from there. If you want to exercise, for example, you may be thinking that you have to do these intense workouts 5 days a week. No — instead, do small, tiny, baby steps. Just do 2 minutes of exercise. I know, that sounds wimpy. But it works. Commit to 2 minutes of exercise for one week. You may want to do more, but just stick to 2 minutes. It’s so easy, you can’t fail. Do it at the same time, every day. Just some crunches, 2 pushups, and some jogging in place. Once you’ve done 2 minutes a day for a week, increase it to 5, and stick with that for a week. In a month, you’ll be doing 15-20. Want to wake up early? Don’t think about waking at 5 a.m. Instead, think about waking 10 minutes earlier for a week. That’s all. Once you’ve done that, wake 10 minutes earlier than that. Baby steps.
5) Commit publicly. None of us likes to look bad in front of others. We will go the extra mile to do something we’ve said publicly. For example, when I wanted to run my first marathon, I started writing a column about it in my local daily newspaper. The entire island of Guam (pop. 160K) knew about my goal. I couldn’t back down, and even though my motivation came and went, I stuck with it and completed it. Now, you don’t have to commit to your goal in your daily newspaper, but you can do it with friends and family and co-workers, and you can do it on your blog if you have one. And hold yourself accountable — don’t just commit once, but commit to giving progress updates to everyone every week or so. 6) Get excited. Well, it starts with inspiration from others (see above), but you have to take that excitement and build on it. For me, I’ve learned that by talking to my wife about it, and to others, and reading as much about it as possible, and visualizing what it would be like to be successful (seeing the benefits of the goal in my head), I get excited about a goal. Once I’ve done that, it’s just a matter of carrying that energy forward and keeping it going.
7) Build anticipation. This will sound hard, and many people will skip this tip. But it really works. It 2) One goal. Too many people start with too many helped me quit smoking after many failed attempts. If you find inspiration and want to do a goal, don’t goals at once, and try to do too much. And it saps start right away. Many of us will get excited and energy and motivation. It’s probably the most want to start today. That’s a mistake. Set a date common mistake that people make. You cannot maintain energy and focus (the two most important in the future — a week or two, or even a month — and make that your Start Date. Mark it on the things in accomplishing a goal) if you are trying calendar. Get excited about that date. Make it the to do two or more goals at once. It’s not possible most important date in your life. In the meantime, — I’ve tried it many times. You have to choose start writing out a plan. And do some of the steps one goal, for now, and focus on it completely. I below. Because by delaying your start, you are know, that’s hard. Still, I speak from experience. building anticipation, and increasing your focus and You can always do your other goals when you’ve energy for your goal. accomplished your One Goal. 3) Examine your motivation. Know your reasons. Give them some thought … and write them down. If you have loved ones, and you are doing it for them, that is more powerful than just doing it for self-interest. Doing it for yourself is good too, but you should do it for something that you REALLY REALLY want to happen, for really good reasons. 4) Really, really want it. This is essentially the same as the above tip, but I want to emphasize it: it’s not enough to think it would be cool to achieve something. It has to be something you’re passionate about, something you’re super excited about, something you want deeply. Make sure that your goal meets these criteria, or you won’t stick with it for long.
8) Print it out, post it up. Print out your goal in big words. Make your goal just a few words long, like a mantra (”Exercise 15 mins. Daily”), and post it up on your wall or refrigerator. Post it at home and work. Put it on your computer desktop. You want to have big reminders about your goal, to keep your focus and keep your excitement going. A picture of your goal (like a model with sexy abs, for example) also helps.
Article from our friends at Zenhabits.com Zen Habits is about finding simplicity in the daily chaos of our lives. It’s about clearing the clutter so we can focus on what’s important, create something amazing, find happiness.