bathimpact Issue 12 by bathimpact

Dream school?

Bath’s got talent

Shhh!

Comment page 8

Activities page 20

bite pages 1-20

bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Tuesday 29th March 2011

www.bathimpact.com

Sam Short

Volume 12 Issue 12

Inside bathimpact How big is Bath’s carbon footprint? Bigger than the abominable snowman’s? Maybe not... Check out our feature showcasing Global Futures Week 2011, taking place 4th-8th April featuring a variety of talks and interactive activities. Turn to page 3 to find out more

Apply now! In bathimpact’s new Business Section, David James explains the job vacancy in the Whitehouse and why unemployment is still rife in the States. Turn to page 10 of Business to find out how to be employed by Barack! (From left) David Howells, David Cameron, Matt Benka, Chris Clements and Naomi Mackrill: the people you elected to be next year’s sabbs

Presenting your new sabbs Kylie Barton bathimpact Reporter news@bathimpact.com

oting for the Sabbatical elections closed last Friday and, over the 5-day voting period, 3411 students voted for five candidates to run the Students’ Union (SU) next academic year. This election allowed students to choose the five candidates they felt would best fill the five slots in the Sabbatical team. The positions that candidates were running for were SU President, Vice President (VP) Education, VP Sport, VP Activities and Development and VP Community and Diversity, a new role introduced this year. Candidates campaigned hard throughout the week with stickers, flyers, tshirts, posters, banners and al-

most anything else you can think of to ensure a good voter turnout. The results of the elections were announced to an audience of over 150 in Plug Bar on the evening ofFriday 25th March. The electoral system used for SU elections is the Single Transferable Vote (STV), which means candidates were ranked in order of choice with an option which became known in the election circuit as ‘R.O.N.’ – standing for ‘Re-open nominations’. There were no big surprises in the first part of the proceedings as the results were revealed starting with the two positions for which only one candidate was nominated. Firstly Naomi Mackrill, a third year Chemistry student, Societies Officer and Publicity Officer of the Volunteer Executive Committee was announced as VP Community

and Diversity with a total of 2524 votes. Secondly, David Cameron, a second year Computer Science and Mathematics student who has experience within SU societies and the Diversity and Support groups, was announced as VP Activities and Development with 2256 votes. After the two uncontested positions were declared, the tension grew as candidates for the other three positions waited eagerly. Next to be announced was the position of VP Education which was the closest contest out of all five positions. Current VP Education Matt Benka, who graduated in 2010, managed to maintain his position, but only narrowly. He won with 1646 votes – only 326 above his opponent Rosie Boulton and 124 above the quota. The position with the most candidates - and the

biggest voter turnout of 3194 - was VP Sport. Four students put themselves up for the position, and with 1787 votes, Chris ‘Clemmo’ Clements, who is currently Chairman of the Sports Association, won the race. Last but not least, after a little pause for dramatic effect, the winner for the position of President was announced. Current VP Welfare and Diversity, David Howells, went up against third year Pharmacology student Jess Watling. Howells won with 1877 votes, 281.5 above the quota and with 718 votes more than his opponent. As the campaign teams of the successful candidates rejoiced, many told bathimpact that they would rather celebrate with some well-earned sleep than a drink from the bar.

Visa changes confirmed In International this fortnight we report on the passing of various changes to international student visas. 8,000 student visas will now be cut. Turn to page 12 of international to read about these alterations

Flex your pecs and pull a bus No, we’re not talking about a severe case of beer goggles on a night out. Duke of Edinburgh are fundraising for their Kilimanjaro climb in quite an unusual way... Flick to page 21 for a collagenboosted bus and more info.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Editorials

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bathimpact

Editorial Team: Editor-in-Chief Gina Reay editor@bathimpact.com Deputy Editor Hannah Raymont deputy@bathimpact.com Chief Sub-Editor Sam Foxman subeditor@bathimpact.com News Katie Rocker news@bathimpact.com Comment David James opinion@bathimpact.com International Julia Lipowiecka international@bathimpact.com Science Sam Lewtas science@bathimpact.com Sport Joe Dibben sport@bathimpact.com

bite Caroline Leach features@bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie ents@bathimpact.com Publicity Officer Julia Lipowiecka publicity@bathimpact.com Treasurer Rebecca Stagg treasurer@bathimpact.com IT Officer Jack Franklin it@bathimpact.com Secretary Nick Hill secretary@bathimpact.com Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

STUDENT

U n i v e r s i t y

o f

B a t h

S t u d e n t s ’

The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Low turnout shows Union’s failings

uring the last week a huge effort has been made to get as many Bath students as possible to vote for next year’s Sabbatical Officers. Campaigning incorporated huge posters all over campus, the personal presence of candidates and their teams, a bathimpact special on the vote, as well as numerous online attempts to raise awareness of the event. Despite all this, voter turnout has been only 25% of the student body deciding the future leadership of the Students’ Union. Relative to other student unions this turnout is high and despite the low number of candidates turnout this year has been the similar to the last. In May last year 65% of the electorate of the United Kingdom voted in the general election. In Bath, 70% voter turnout was recorded and, with an electorate of 66,000, many of those voters would have been students. The polling station on campus recorded its highest ever turnout. To reflect this both leading candidates – Don Foster and Fabian Richter – visited campus to convince students to vote for them. The idea that students would vote was accepted because of all the attention given to the tuition

U n i o n

m edia

The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.

University of Bath Students’ Union Printed by Harmsworth Press Ltd.

fees issue, it was simply a matter of ensuring that students realised the importance of this election for their lives. Of course, Don Foster’s victory turned out to be a disappointment but the fact remains that students voted for him largely because of his tuition fee promises and because they specifically appealed to students. So why is it that, in an election that entirely focuses on the student body in terms of issues and attention, the electorate seems to be disinterested and apathetic about the process? Campaigns last only one week. It is extremely difficult to establish a memorable, issue based platform in such a short period of time. It is much easier to run a campaign that gains visibility and notoriety: dressing up in eye-catching costumes on Parade, for instance, is an effective way to gain votes. Even with well written manifestos that outline a coherent plan for their future terms, Sabb candidates are unlikely to win elections without engaging in stunts on campus that get students talking. The problem is that there is simply not enough time for candidates to generate a significant following just

through the strength of their policies. Because of this, combating voter apathy is particularly difficult. The other side of the problem comes from the relationship between the SU and the student body. A particularly notable feature of this year’s campaigns has been the focus on getting students more involved with the SU, a distance between the two has been noted as a failing. Rosie Boulton’s manifesto made reference to this: “A great SU is what you make of it”, placing the onus on the student body to take control of SU activities rather than the other way around. There are a surprisingly large number of students who either don’t know what their Sabbatical Officers do or who simply aren’t interested. There is a culture of separation between the SU and the students – many report that they immediately delete emails from the SU and, as a result, don’t know what has been done this year. Why would people vote in an election that relates to an institution that they feel no connection to? These problems not only lead to a low turnout but also make the outcome of these elections worryingly

predictable. With only one week to run a campaign, to create a profile and to encourage people to vote, the winning candidates are elected based on their profile before campaigning began. Candidates who are incumbent Sabbatical Officers or who have had the opportunity to engage with students before the campaigning period will always be victorious. The brevity of the campaigning period has resulted in a system in which it is very difficult for voters to make an informed decision. The efforts made during and just before this election to get voting numbers up were always likely to struggle. Clearly, when you can’t grab people’s attentions with the issues and they are already pre-disposed to pay no attention to the institution that the elections are about it is always likely that the turnout will be low. The valiant efforts of the candidates and their teams, media groups, the current Sabbatical team and other interested parties should not be undervalued but the problem lies both in the structure of the vote itself and, perhaps more importantly, in the extent to which students feel that they can relate to the SU.

Strikes risk damaging our degrees

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151 01225 44 4061

bathimpact

ast week, the University and College Union (UCU) took the decision to hold strikes across the country. Thanks to the result of an online poll, our Students’ Union chose to support this. The arguments were presented for and against supporting the strikes by the Union and the overwhelming view of the voters was that the strikes should be supported. This may have been because some people liked the idea of a few days without lectures or the motives of the respondents may have been more honourable. Solidarity with another union and opposition to government cuts are known to be fairly popular causes. The decision of the SU to base their view on a bathstudent.com poll may have been fair, but the minority of students who wanted to oppose the strike action and have their studies uninterrupted should have been better supported. It is important for the Union to present the views of their members, but sometimes it is more important to pro-

tect their interests. This was the not the right time for UCU to conduct a national strike. Final year students are completing the last few weeks of their studies and many presentations and assessments have been postponed or cancelled because of this. Of course lecturers and other UCU members want to make a statement over their job security and pension cuts. Does this have to be at a cost to students? We are not unsympathetic. We are worried about future tuition fees, sports fees, paying loans back and, of course, the disturbingly high unemployment rates for graduates. For many students, however, missing a lecture can have a serious effect on our understanding and put a rather large gap in the syllabus. Some striking lecturers have chosen to reschedule the missed classes, but surely this defeats the point of striking and inconveniences students who have a settled and organised weekly routine?

Of course, job losses and redundancies would have a very serious effect on our University and we should certainly consider being in favour of UCU’s position. Protesting in the form of a strike is selfish and it will affect students much more than it will impact on the University. If the strike had been at the beginning of the academic year, perhaps it would have been more convenient to reorganise lectures and give students time to catch up on missed classes and gaps in the curriculum. Leaving it until there are four weeks of teaching left for undergraduates, is simply unfair. Last Monday, an email was sent from the SU. The details contained in this email were embarrassingly lacking. In an attempt to be reassuring, the SU were unable to inform students about specific lecturers who had confirmed strike action and referred to only a handful of courses here at Bath with the blurriest of comments ‘little disruption is expected’. Not only did

students feel unsupported by their lecturers but many also felt unsupported by the SU who seemed to have less information than we did on the expected actions of UCU members. The fact that some lecturers chose to disregard their students and strike last week is a shame. Academic staff who chose to take their financial worries out on students, should perhaps have stopped to think about the financial troubles also facing students and their total innocence in this situation. Striking in the seventh week of the second semester shows a lack of concern from UCU for the people that they are here to educate. UCU themselves have said that they will strike to cause as much disruption as possible to examinations and assessment if their demands are not met. Students should not be disadvantaged by these disputes. Every action should be taken by our Union and our University to ensure that this is the case.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

News

www.bathimpact.com

“

Global Future 2011 (4th - 8th April 2011) is a packed programme of events and talks designed to improve our understanding of sustainability issues and the impact we have on our planet. To be prepared for the changing business and professional worlds graduates need an understanding of sustainability issues. Find a event and arm yourself with the knowledge to take on the sustainability challenges we face.

Highlights of the week

Competition Win! Win! Win!

BEST FANCY DRESS @ COMEPLAY GOES GREEN Canterbury Rugby Shirts VIP Come Play Tickets

Check our website for the themes!

We will also be handing out FREE Come Play tickets. Look out for us on Parade between Wed 30th March and Fri 1st April

tion on the exhibition. The exhibition has kindly been supported by the University of Bath Alumni Fund and Estates Department. Key Talks The main attractions of Global Future 2011 are the inspiring and highprofile speakers that have agreed to come to Bath. Aiming to provide students, tomorrows political and business leaders, with the information to facilitate the major changes necessary for our modern lifestyle to become truly sus-

tainable. Don’t walk into an interview or complete a University project without seeing at least one of these talks! Cycling events Julian House’s Bike Doctor will be on Parade during the week to help get your bike in shape for cycling during these glorious summer months! Once your ready to ride why not join our mass cycle ride from Oldfield Park to campus on Thursday 7th April at 10am. A excellent way to be introduced to benefits of cycling up to University. Check our website, www. globalfuture2011.com for updates.

Come Play goes Green! To start Global Future 2011 with a bang we are running the most anticipated Come Play of the year. With lots of competitions (see below), fancy dress themes and more. Come and represent your course as they go head-to-head to win the Come Play goes Green crown! These and many more events will be going on during the week. Such as EWB’s BBQ made from natural building techniques, a bicycle powered smoothie maker and a chance to make your own solar cell.

Bath’s greendentials Dr Sally Lampkin Greener Living Assistant s.lampkin@bath.ac.uk

he issue of climate change and responsibility to reduce carbon emissions is more pressing than ever, with increasing expectations of our students, staff and external stakeholders for the University of Bath to be incorporating sustainability in its key aims. A great deal of work on Carbon Management and energy-saving has taken place in the University over recent years. We have: • achieved £0.5m of annual savings from our electricity consumption compared to 4 years ago with 1,360 tCO2 saved annually, which is equivalent to the amount of

Key talks Tuesday 5th April :-

“An introduction into the exemplary work done at the university to reduce it’s environmental impact.” Energy & Environment Manager Peter Phelps 3E2.2 1.15-2.05pm

Hard Rain Exhibition at University of Helsinki Botanic Garden Hard Rain Exhibition The internationally famed photography exhibition comes to Bath, demonstrating the need to ‘reinvent the modern world so that it is compatible with nature and human nature.’ A series of photographs taken across the world set to Bob Dylan’s A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall, documenting our Headlong Collision with Nature. The powerful and compelling set of images will be displayed by the lake from Thursday 31st March up to Thursday 7th April when Mark Edwards will be delivering a presenta-

”

Check out the events below

power used in around 800 UK homes • recently achieved a target of 12.5% carbon emissions reduction per m 2 building floor area from a 2003/4 baseline, despite growth in the campus. The Carbon Management Plan (CMP) is the key output from the implementation of targets set by HEFCE within the HE sector, as a result of The Climate Change Act (2008). The purpose of this Plan is to set out a road map for the next 5 years of how the University intends to achieve its own internal targets, covering technical projects, policy changes, behavioural change projects and the financing to make it happen. It outlines the types of projects that we will be implementing over the coming years in order to make significant

reductions in our carbon emissions and seek to improve our environmental performance in areas such as energy, water, transport, waste reduction and recycling, procurement, landscape management and biodiversity. The University of Bath partnered with the Carbon Trust on this ambitious programme in 2010, and the CMP commits the University to a target of reducing CO2 by 19% by 2014/5 against a 2008/9 baseline and underpins potential financial savings to the institution of around £3.9 million by that date. Peter Phelps, the Energy and Environment Manager, and Dr Sally Lampkin are presenting the CMP and other green initiatives in a talk on Tuesday, 5 April at 1.15 in 3E 2.2.

Wednesday 6th April :“Millionaire entrepreneur talks branding, marketing and how to launch a business” Founder Nakd Wholefoods Jamie Combs 8W3.14 6.00-7.30pm

Thursday 7th April :“An insight into the Hard Rain photography exhibition on the effects of modern life” Project Founder Mark Edwards 5W2.3 6.15-7.30pm “Issues facing the construction world as the need for sustainable design becomes paramount” CEO Buro Happold Gavin Thompson 8W1.1 6.15-7.30pm

Friday 8th April :“Q+A: Green Governance: Will it Work?” BaNES Green Party Candidate Eric Lucus WH1LT 1.15-3.00pm

Keep an eye out for more talks in your department! From sustainable IT to management, there will be many chances to learn more about the factors affecting our world and its industries.

Don’t forget to visit www.globalfuture2011.com for more information

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

News

www.bathimpact.com

Hiriyti Bairu bathimpact reporter

et to be a blast, this year’s black tie event will be host to some of the UK’s hottest talent. From the starry-eyed Ellie Goulding to Mobo-winning star Chipmunk, this event promises a spectacle which is not to be missed. Other UK talent to also hit the stage will include BBC Radio 1 DJ Greg James. The event will be held on campus and it will have a line up of top quality entertainment including; a casino, jazz bar, bucks fizz reception, outdoor bars, fairground attractions and a main stage with a fabulous line-up! Set times and venues coming soon. VIP ticket holders will be admitted from 18:00 onwards and entertainment ticket holders from 19:30 onwards. Tickets will be exchanged for wristbands, which should be worn at all times. The event will come to a close at 2.00am. Bus services will run all evening, with additional services between 6pm-

8pm and 2am-3am. Entertainment tickets will be on sale for £40 and limited VIP tickets which include a 3 course sit down meal at the Claverton Rooms for £60. From the 18th to the 22nd of April you will be able to choose your food and where you would like to be seated at the meal. VIP tickets are only available to students graduating this year. You will need proof of graduating upon collection of tickets. Tickets can be purchased on Bathstudent.com/summerball and will go live at 9am on the 4th April to graduating students and then will go on general sale on the 18th of April. Make sure to validate your online membership before buying tickets. You will be allowed to purchase a maximum of one extra ticket for a guest including non-Bath students but they must be aged 18 or over. So mark it on your calendar and grab your tickets early before they get snapped up - last year they sold out in just two hours 22 minutes.

Annie McGann

Summer Ball Bath Spa student missing B S

James has been missing since 13th March

ath Spa University student James Bubear has been missing since 13th March. He left Revolutions (on George Street) at 10.30pm on Sunday night, walking alone. James is described as white, 6ft 2ins tall, of skinny build and with mousy brown hair. He was wearing a navy or black jacket, a white shirt and jeans. Flatmate Eleanor Enery claimed that it was unlikely he had walked along the river. “There has been a lot of emphasis on him going along the river, but I think it is unlikely he would have done that. We always cut through Sainsbury’s and go along Lower Bristol Road on our way back.” One potential line of enquiry is the woman James was seen to talk to several minutes after leaving the club. She has not yet come forward, and police urgently wish to get in touch with her. Anyone with any additional information should call Bath police on 0845 456 7000.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

News

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The changing faces of your Union O

n March 21st and 22nd, hustings took place in the Student Centre. They were a chance for the student body to personally quiz the candidates up for election. On the first day, students heard from now Next year’s team elected VP Activities and Development have a very tough job ahead David Cameron. The questions directof them; with the introduction ed at him were mainly focused upon of new tuition fees, expecta- the current cap of 85 societies and if this could be extended, if the current tions will be high societies are functioning to the best Daniel O’Toole of their abilities and what he could do for the societies unable to be affiliated with the Union. He said that he would ensure current societies maintain an active membership base for whom

“

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Chris Clements is a very worthy winner, he has a lot to learn though! The new team will do really well; it will be interesting to see the change between Dot and David’s leadership

Sam Short

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Andy Crawshaw

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At the start of the week I was a bit disappointed in the slow start but as campaigning went on I’ve been so impressed that the candidates got so they provide activities and events, also mentioning that a waiting list has been many votes

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Ann Howell

The Sabbs that could have been...

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You learn so much from the experience, the students are confident in their selection and that’s all that matters... now I am going to go to bed!

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Jess Watling

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I absolutely loved running, when the results were announced Clemmo ran over to me and cried as much as me! He needed me to feel like he earnt his job, the main thing is he felt challenged

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Jon Garner-Richardson

started for up-and-coming societies should he succeed in getting a cap increase. Sports candidates were unsurprisingly inundated with concern over the £100 fee and the closure of the 25m swimming pool. Chris ‘Clemmo’ Clements, now VP Sport, reiterated his efforts as Chairman of the Sports Association in the process of ensuring students get more for their money. He did, however, spark controversy when he said he would have acted very differently to current VP Sport Andy Crawshaw in relation to the fee. Chris also promised to help find off-campus alternatives for the clubs unable to stay because of the new charge. On his role

Who voted:

his year’s Sabbatical elections saw a turnout of 3441 students, that’s 25% of the population. This figure is slightly down on last year when 3587 students voted (27%) as the amount of students has increased this year. This may not sound too significant but, this year, campaigning was centred on an increased initiative to encourage students just to vote, no matter who for. The University has a student body comprised of students that come from all around the world. Sixty-six per cent of the student population is British, the

Chris said; “the first part of my role is as a Vice President of the Student Union.” On the much-covered topic of engagement he also said “I will be round halls at least once every couple of weeks to find out what your issues are.” On the second day, Naomi Mackrill, now VP Community and Diversity, was asked about how she would work toward better communications with the international students that she said make up one third of the students at Bath. Naomi was posed with a question regarding residents objecting to student exemption from council tax. Naomi responded: “I will work against any movement that suggests students should pay council tax; I couldn’t afford to pay it and we as students spend a lot of money in other ways” – a response eliciting a massive cheer from the crowd. An interesting exchange took place between current and re-elected VP Education, Matt Benka, and his opponent Rosie Boulton. In his opening statement Matt claimed that in his last year in the role he reduced the number of 8.15 lectures by 43% and doubled voter turnout for academic rep elections. Rosie mentioned an interesting campaign tactic of hers: she had bet a whole year’s tuition fee to all of the people she had talked with on parade

Election Spy

What the current Sabbs thought...

that they could name one bad lecturer they had last semester. She commented “ that is not a bet I should be able to make”. Rosie also focused on quality of teaching “poor lecturers should be given a lesson on how to teach well – they are great researchers with the potential to be great teachers”. Matt added that lecturers find it hard to get promoted without a good research base, and so maybe there is something that needs to be looked at internally. The candidates for President arguably faced the most challenging questions from the floor. In his opening speech, President elect David Howells said “I want it because I love the Union”. Jess Watling, however, placed emphasis on the President’s role as ‘one amongst equals’ in the team. When asked to define the role of the SU, David’s reply was twofold. Firstly, he said that currently it represents a “small homogenous portion of the student body” but secondly that it should represent all students. When challenged with the question “What can you do which hasn’t already been done?” David replied “[on communication] we ask one question, in one survey, once a year; therefore all we know how people in surveys want to be communicated with”. On media, David said that it all should be student led, run “by students for students”.

“David Howells feels Cameron’s sword of pain and appears to like it” “Does anyone want to air ‘candidates touched me inappropriately at Score’ stories yet?” “JGR campaigner: “Can I have your phone number so we can meet up tonight?” Sorry love, but you got Spy’s flirt divert”

What was said on the night...

Nicola the pessimist On Election Spy “Election Spy was a bit lame this year” On candidate’s manifesto promises “I would like to be optimistic but generally people say more than they can commit to”.

Ryan the optimist

On Election Spy “It was pretty funny... a good idea” On why he voted “To have my say and to try and have an effect”

“In a novel new approach to winning votes... reports suggest that Clemmo threw a football at a girls laptop earlier today”

second largest group is Chinese; also were the second largest group to vote in the elections. It has been suggested by some students who have spoke to bathimpact that voter turnout is dramatically decreased a students progress through their academic at Bath. Some students felt that over the course of their time hear they had seen little change within the University as a result of union action. This was reflected in this year’s figures as 1151 freshers voted (43% of the electorate), compared to only 22 fifth years. An encouraging figure from the demographic report was that 246 students on placement voted.

The turnout for VP Activities and Development and VP Community and Diversity was comparatively lower than other positions. Students questioned said they felt this was because there was only one candidate available for selection, which could reflect a lack of knowledge surrounding these roles and their importance. The majority of students are in agreement with the current sabbatical team that the issue of apathy amongst Bath students is something that needs to be addressed. It is clear that this is a communication problem and, to use the buzzword of the campaign, an ‘engagement’ problem.

Sarah the realist On Election Spy “I havent heard of it, it obviously wasn’t well publicised” On candidates manifesto promises “David seems clear in what he wants to do, it’s realistic”

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

News

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March for the alternative Simon O’Kane bathimpact contributor

etween a quarter and half a million people attended the Trade Union Congress’ “March for the Alternative” last Saturday, making it the most attended demonstration since the 2003 march against the Iraq war, which attracted more than a million attendees. The stated objective of the demonstration, which the NUS officially endorsed after giving in to popular pressure, was to protest against the coalition Government’s £80 billion planned spending cuts. The cuts are intended to eliminate the UK’s budget deficit, which stands at over £120 billion, by 2015; opponents of the cuts believe that it is better for society to fill the gap via a fullscale crackdown on tax evasion and avoidance, implementing

a “Robin Hood Tax” on banking transactions and investing to speed up economic growth. The march took several hours to file past Parliament before ending at a rally in Hyde Park Corner, which was addressed by TUC chairman Brendan Barber and Leader of the

The demonstration was to protest against the coalition Government’s £80 billion planned spending cuts Opposition Ed Miliband. Although this march was entirely peaceful, it was accompanied by vandalism from entirely separate criminal gangs who chose to conduct their action on the same day. Around 250 rioters attempted to damage the Olympic clock in

Trafalgar Square, while in Oxford Street branches of banking chains Santander, HSBC, Royal Bank of Scotland and fashion store Topshop had their windows smashed and were attacked with paint. 201 arrests were made while clashes between police and protesters injured 66, including thirteen police officers. Also on Oxford Street, the campaign group UK Uncut, which undertakes non-violent direct action against firms they perceive to be tax avoiders, staged a sit-in at luxury Piccadilly store Fortnum and Mason, which attracted 200 people. The cost of the cleanup is expected to be similar to the £50,000 bill for the damage caused by the tuition fees demonstrations; police were criticised by some parties for failing to do more to prevent the damage. Both Ed Miliband and the TUC were quick to condemn the violence.

Sainsbury’s to close (but only for a week)

ecent significant disruption to the Green Park Station supermarket will culminate this month in a week-long closure in order to finish the refurbishment. From 6pm on Thursday April 7th, the store will be closed to customers while improvements are made, reopening on April 15th. Changes will include a new food-to-go counter as well as improvements to the meat, fish, bakery and delicatessen counters - and to the customer toilets. The store has also pledged to increase the number of staff on checkouts - sure to be a welcome relief for anyone that has gone in to buy one or two items at any time between four and seven in the evening. Lindsey Roughsedge, the store

manager, said “We’re encouraging our customers to stock up on their shopping before we close at 6pm on the 7th, but as our home [delivery] services will be unaffected, we encourage those who do not currently take advantage of this service to do so during the short period the store is closed. “Meanwhile, I look forward to welcoming customers into to our new and improved store from 9am on Friday 15th April.” Unfortunately the closure will not coincide with the opening of the new store at Odd Down, which is not due to occur until later this year. The renovations are unconnected with an application for significant expansion of the store, which is still being considered by B&NES council.

University and College Union strikes Gina Reay Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com

ast Tuesday and Thursday, the University and College Union (UCU) held strikes across the country and many University of Bath lecturers and staff chose to take part. The strikes followed a national ballot where UCU members were asked whether to strike or not in order to support job security and pensions. In this ballot, 52.6% of voters agreed that strike action was necessary. On Wednesday 16th March, our Students’ Union posted an online poll on bathstudent.com asking ‘Would you like your SU to support the UCU strikes next week?’. 386 people voted in favour of the

strikes, 80.32% of voters, and so the SU decided to support the protest. Students were assured that the strike would not disrupt their daily routine too much, however many

Any member of staff who decided to take strike action would be considered in breach of their contract of employment lecturers from several departments chose to manifest and take the day off, refusing to attend classes, turn up to meetings or even reply to emails. The strikes came after uni-

versity employers announced pay cuts and refused to negotiate with the UCU over job security. Many academic staff are currently worrying over looming redundancies and pension cuts and after their firm support of the NUS ‘Fund our Future’ campaign, the SU decided to support their action. Many students were excited at the prospect of staying in bed for longer; however some final year students were annoyed at the timing of the strike. One fourth year Modern Languages student told bathimpact: “Of course these issues are important and the academic staff here should be listened to, but I am missing two hours of a module in one of the final weeks of my entire degree. So many MLES

Student opinion Physics student: “It’s not fair to take it out on the students.” Economics student:“Why did we find out so last minute? Surely they knew at least a few days in advance, why didn’t we get told sooner?” MLES student: “It’s affected me, but I don’t really mind - it’s just a free period!” Pharmacy student: “People have downplayed the possible impact and the actual impact on students; students shouldn’t be so quick to jump to supporting UCU when we know the next phase is going to be massively damaging.” Economics student: I support them - they’re getting a really rough deal, I think it’s really unfair. Politics student: It didn’t affect me at all, I didn’t even know it was happening

staff seem to have gone on strike, only informing us at last minute. This is not the right time to be depriving us of learning.” The University have declared that any member of staff who decided to take strike action would be considered in breach of their contract of employment and the University would withhold 1/260th of their annual salary for each day of strike action. This interesting step from the university urged lecturers and other staff to remain active during the week and those that didn’t were not paid for their days off. On Thursday, many staff con-

structed picket lines at the entrance to the University, the purposes of which were to “peacefully persuade a person to work or not to work”. Striking staff chose not to cross the picket line and protesting lecturers were noticed by students as they arrived for their lectures on the bus. One observer said: “I saw my French lecturer at the picket line this morning, she had her sunglasses on and looked to be enjoying the sun and her day out of action.” Teaching is expected to go back to normal this week and only time will tell how the cuts will affect the quality of education here at Bath.

Affected by world events? William Wan bathimpact reporter

re you unable to work because of what’s going on in Japan? Or the chaos in North Africa and the Middle East? The University would like to assure students and staff that there is support for them. Students that have been affected by these events can find support from the Student Services Centre in 4 West, the Advice and Representation Centre in the Stu-

dents’ Union, and the Chaplaincy. Additionally, staff can assess a counselling service at the Royal United Hospital. Nightline, a confidential listening and support telephone line run, is open from Wednesday to Sunday between 8pm and 8am for any students. The number for this service can be found on the back of your library card. If your work has been affected by these events, you are encouraged to go to see your Personal Tutor and Director of Studies.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Dream School or Nightmare Academy bathimpact contributor Jack Penrose explains why this social experiment was destined to fail

n a recent interview I was asked, “Who inspires you?” I responded with a more leftfield name – Jamie Oliver. As the interviewer glared at me, I explained why I had opted for the Naked Chef, citing reasons of his likeable personality, his crusades on nutrition, and the fact that he succeeded from a tough background. I was commended for not mentioning Obama, Mandela or Oprah like all the other suits that had rolled in that day. Anyway, I am digressing from my point – I like Jamie Oliver. There, I said it. I’m a big fan of his, but his most recent televised social experiment is less inspiring.

1.4m

people tuned into Jamie Oliver’s Dream School

Dream School is a new TV show on E4 which tries to educate dropout teenagers through celebrity teaching. The reason this is a failed social experiment is simple – it doesn’t work. The ‘teachers’ are a who’s who of non-qualified celebs who have no idea of how to connect

with the bored, rude and mindless teens who sit in front of them, mouthing off about how little respect they are getting from David Starkey. The first problem which still hasn’t been resolved is that the kids have no respect for anyone. They lack discipline and interest. They constantly talk over the teachers, play on their phones and then kick off when the teacher begs for their attention. Call me a Tory (if you dare) but these kids need a slap – big time. Respect is something that you earn, not a god-given right. Dream School also fails to acknowledge that it shouldn’t be a school’s job to discipline students, it’s the root of the indiscipline that needs to be addressed, and that is presumably lax parenting in most cases. The celebrity teachers need a slap too. It’s just catastrophic, 20 bored students don’t want to listen to Simon Callow talking about how terrific Shakespeare is – why not make it relevant? Why not show them something they might enjoy? The same goes for David Starkey, who managed to lose control over

Jamie employed Tinchy Stryder to teach poetry and verse the class, and offended one of the kids, labelling him “fat”. Outstanding work. It’s not all bad though, revered mathematician Alvin Hall connected with the kids by making the lesson entertaining, useful and relevant, talking about the mathematics of money. I also sympathise with head teacher John “Dabs” D’Abbro, who tried to address the

kids’ lack of discipline and respect, to little avail. Dream School’s saving grace is that it does show how difficult a job teaching is, and the show is quite entertaining (such as Alistair Campbell dismissing a claim from one of the students that he is a “wanker” and continuing with the lesson with the line “fair enough”). It’s worth your time, but generally,

this is a bit of a blow for Oliver, whose programme can be summed up by the look of panic and desperation on his face as he looks on helplessly at the monster he has created. It’s worth mentioning that not all the kids are disinterested morons, and that the teachers aren’t short of enthusiasm, it’s just not succeeding. I’d rather they gave the ropes to Charlie Sheen so he could teach them the theory of “bi-winning” instead. Surely teaching them how to cook would have worked better? Oliver bleats on about how the system “failed” him, but did he ever stop to consider that maybe the real problem is that these kids are not interested in learning at all? They have failed the system. I do think that the educational system in this country leaves a lot to be desired, (we learn to pass exams, rather than learn) but it is still the system in place – you have to play the game, or your chances of success are significantly limited. Unless of course, you are the next Branson, Sugar, or even Jamie Oliver.

You should all be as organised as me Next time you turn down an invite, saying ‘sorry, I’ve got too much work’, blame yourself Gina Reay Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com

have always been the type of girl who likes to bite off more than she can chew. I’ll always take on far too much; a degree, a job, society committee positions, hobbies, friendships and a relationship; all of these require a hearty mixture of time and effort. My response to this overload has been to learn how to effectively manage my time. I’m the girl with an A4 day-to-day diary, a million and one to-do lists and my weekends planned for the next two months. So I do tend to get quite annoyed when I remember that not everyone is quite the same. Now, when I have a meeting or a lecture, I’ll turn up five minutes early. Why? I don’t really know but I like to get things done. However, recently I have been getting a little obsessive compulsive about it. I can’t stand lateness and I do tend to get a bit moody if other people turn up belatedly, or worse, not at all. A few weeks ago, I was excited to watch

the RAG week charity Gunk-a-Sabb. As my diary told me, I turned up on Thursday at 11:55am ready to watch the midday gunging of my colleagues. With a pocket full of change, I watched as the time went from

12pm to five past, then to 10 past and finally, when it got to quarter past, my patience ran out. RAG had a number of difficult organisational issues to deal with; bad weather, a smaller than usual team of organis-

ers and the management of the team of busy Sabbs who were in and out of meetings all day. I knew, however, that by waiting out in the cold, I was wasting time and so at twenty past twelve I left. I was told later on that, two minutes after I left, the gunging began and it was fabulous. Am I the one with the problem then? I’m not sure. I think when you are busy, you need to split your life up well and divide time between work and play, between uni assignments and other responsibilities. It is for this reason that I can never sympathise with people who say ‘sorry I can’t come, I have too much work’ because in the back of my mind I’m thinking, we’ve had this planned for over a week, you have too much work because you have spent the rest of the day procrastinating or chilling out. Maybe I’m being a bit harsh though. Organisational skills come with age and with responsibility. I made the effort to take on many responsibilities so as a result I have had to learn through experience, to balance my time well and not waste

any. However many students choose to purely partake in a degree, leaving more time for chilling, which makes the need for time management a lot less urgent. I hope that my skills will equip me well for the professional world. I am often been told

“

Am I the one with the problem then? I’m not sure.

”

though, that my obsessive organisation makes me take things too seriously. I do agree, students shouldn’t need to put so much pressure on themselves in day-to-day life, especially when we have so much stress to come when we turn into proper adults! I do embrace organisation though and I admire people who adopt an organised lifestyle. I realise that while we’re students, it isn’t for everyone and I hope that as we reach the summer, I can chill out and go with a flow a bit more. Here’s hoping anyway!

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Science vs. Religion: A false dichotomy? bathimpact contributor David Hart responds to the previous article ‘How can you believe?’

he article ‘How can they believe’ was printed in bathimpact earlier this month. It poised questions about ‘life after death’, ‘is there a god?’ and assessed the different approaches in answering these big issues. The writer made it quite clear how the ‘groundless and speculative certainty of people who advocate for or against god’s reality’ made him uncomfortable. I would agree that these questions are so big that we must not be satisfied with a ‘made up a story built upon no logical foundation’. On the contrary, we must search with an open mind for reason, evidence and experience of others in our quest to find answers about the universe we live in and the god(s) that could be behind it. Let us first explore the reason for a creator. Everything we investigate around us is caused by something else; everything is contingent. Lots of things in the universe that require a cause do not give an explanation. The universe needs a cause. That cause is before the Big Bang and therefore beyond the space-time continuum of the universe. There has to be ultimately something un-

caused to cause this universe. There are two options: the universe or Nature in some form (energy or whatever) is eternal, or something else is eternal beyond ‘Nature’. Thus the choice is not one of science or faith, rational or irrational. Rather, it is a matter of faith to believe either, as no evidence can be produced for something before time (which started at the big bang). This is by definition beyond the realm of classical science. As a Christian believer, the fine tuning and beauty of the scientific laws governing the universe only reinforces my faith in an intelligent, divine creative force behind Nature. The more I understand science, the more I believe in God because of my wonder at the breadth, sophistication and integrity of his creation. This became the view of Prof. Anthony Flew, self proclaimed as ‘the world’s most notorious atheist’, who publicly abandoned his atheism based on scientific arguments. Science persuaded him that there is a god. Flew concluded that ‘we still have to come to terms with the origin of the laws of nature. And the only viable explanation here is the divine Mind.’ As a leading ex-

Both Prof. Dawkins (left) and Prof. Flew (right) claim science supports the existence of a god of somekind pert in science, philosophy and religion he had been overwhelmed to conclude in a creative force behind nature. But support for the existence of God moves far beyond the realm of science into evidence of another kind. Within the Christian faith, there is also the powerful evidence that God revealed himself to mankind through Jesus Christ two millennia ago. The eyewitnesses of these phenomenal events like the miracles and resurrection of Jesus, wrote down their testimony. These accounts have strong historical evi-

dence for believing them to be true and are aligned to archaeological evidence. The power of the message was immense and the teaching of Jesus was (and remains) profound. Finally, true Christians believe that they have an ongoing encounter with the real risen Jesus through the mediation of the Bible and Jesus’ Spirit. This is a life-changing experience. The message, the gospel, or good news, provides forgiveness and a relationship with the God who made and sustains the universe. This worldview is far from a

‘made up a story built upon no logical foundation’, but rather one that is built on reason, evidence and an encounter with God himself. Attacks from Dawkins et al cannot shake the foundations of a faith that is based on evidence. I encourage you to investigate these things for yourselves. If there is a creator out there, who wants a relationship with us, the created, we must reason with the evidence of a God behind the universe that the Bible says ‘has been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made’. We must take the historical accounts of Jesus’ life seriously and accept the Good News – that, in Jesus, God has entered human history to save sinners and give people the only hope that matters: eternal life with God. This article only scratches the surface of the intellectual integrity of Christianity. As C. S. Lewis elegantly put it ‘Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.’ Therefore, I hope that this article will encourage you to scour for truth rather than dismiss the evidence or apathetically reject it.

R.I.P. Theory, you will be missed So much for my return-to-the-UK-from-placement party at Elements this Friday Jon Gleeve bathimpact Contributor

’day my fellow Brits. Despite being 18,000 km away in the now not-sosunny isles of New Zealand, it has come to my attention that Theory, or as I recall it ‘Flirt’ has come to a permanent end due to poor attendance. And I pose the question to those of you on campus, what are you doing with your Friday nights instead? I’ve seen the student social calender from two perspectives; that of being a fresher on campus, and that of being a ‘subdued’ second year in town. If you were on campus, you would typically attend Score, Flirt, or Comeplay or if you had less regard for your liver and degree, then you would attend all three. As a second year you would hit Bridge on a Monday, cheesy Moles on a Tuesday or Weir Lounge on a Thursday. Alternatively if you liked sticking to the floors, you would go to XL. If you

were feeling bold you could even complete the ‘fabled full week’. Bridge on a Monday, Moles on a Tuesday, Score on a Wednesday, XL on a Thursday, Flirt on a Friday, ComePlay on the Saturday, and then round the week off with a quiet pint in the Huntsman to reflect on a week well done! With the closure of Theory I’d like to know where there is to go on Friday nights instead. I have

“

In town, you pay over the odds for drinks and swoon over cougars

”

had the misfortune of going out in town on a Friday. Unless you like paying above the odds for pretty average drinks and swooning over cougars and creepy old men I can’t see the attraction of a weekend out on the town over campus. Admittedly with the recession it has been the case that people are

looking on ways to save money and I suppose the obvious place to cut back on is going out; saving yourself for Saturday nights on campus instead. But there are plenty of other ways to save money: try wearing your underwear on the inside out, then back to front, then back to front AND inside out. This will save you money on laundry, for example. Or save money on food by going home and taking an empty sports bag with you. When you get home, fill up said sports bag with

pasta, canned goods and everything else you can get your student paws on while your parents aren’t looking. It was this sports bag trick and this trick alone which meant I always had enough money spare for that extra night out! I think the reason I am ranting about the lack of commitment to Flirt/Theory/Funky Guppy/whatever you want to call it, is because I was looking forward to the prospect of coming back in my final year and partying it up on campus.

Pretending I can still do 7 nights in a row, and I can still cut it with the fresh livers of the younger years. Now I will have to settle for Friday nights in town with the old people, the people who don’t still get ID’d at the bar, the boring people... By taking away Theory, a tiny part of my fresher soul has died with it! I recently went to a bar in New Zealand where every Wednesday, if you bought 8 orange drinks you got awarded a free T-shirt proclaiming ‘I love ginger people’ with a lovely picture of a curly haired ginger man on it. I’m sure if the union offered a similar incentive, people would come flooding back to campus in their droves... Perhaps if you attend every Theory over a term you get guaranteed a first. I bet that would have had people rushing to campus once more! R.I.P. Flirt, Funky Guppy, Theory (incidentally I have no idea why they thought changing the name would make it more popular). I, for one, will miss it.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Business

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Job vacancy for sabb losers David James Comment Editor comment@bathimpact.com

f you have suddenly found yourself in the market for a new job, look no further because Barack is on the lookout for potential applicants to become Chairman of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. (which guarantees the deposits of savers within major retail banks), Comptroller of the Currency (which regulates national and foreign banks within the US), acting-director of the Federal Housing Finance Admin-

“

Why is the US public sector failing to attract quality applicants?

”

istration (that provides insurance to banks against the default of mortgages) and acting head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (that enforces prosecution against companies who breach consumer protection law). Yet it seems strange that, whereas the top jobs within government

are drastically short of potential applicants, US unemployment actually contracted recently to 8.9% - its third consecutive monthly fall. President Obama’s stimulus package of over $200bn in 2009 is beginning to pay dividends for the American economy which has seen the fastest growth in its secondary and tertiary sectors in over five years. Whilst the US Labor Department reported that the private sector offered 192,000 extra jobs in January alone, it is difficult to comprehend why the public sector is failing to attract quality applicants to key government roles. If the economy is performing well with a healthier Balance of Payments (a profit and loss account of the US’ trade with the rest of the world) and a lower budget deficit (falling by £122bn from 2009), why is there a distinct lack of confidence to having Barack as your boss? One reason could be that Michelle Obama has recently banned Facebook around the office (she revealed to TIME magazine that her daughters Sacha and Malia are not allowed access to

Chairman of the FDIC, Shelia Blair, and Comptroller of the Currency, John Dughan, will end their terms this year

James Lockhart, Head of US FHFA, and Holly Petreaus, Acting head of the US Consumer Finance Protection Bureau the social networking site). I am, however, inclined to blame the

growing fear of Rupert Murdoch’s global media empire. The octoge-

narian has not only amassed his daughter’s television production company Shine (which creates BBC programmes such as Masterchef and Merlin), but is also on track to secure the controlling stake of BSkyB (the company behind Sky television). With News Corp owning: HarperCollins publishing, The Sun, The Times, The New York Post, The Wall Street Journal, 20th Century Fox (Film studios) and Vogue magazine (et al.); Murdoch could rinse any public figure that took his fancy with a single phone call. So if US civil servants are already running scared, it may not be long before there are notable absences from Call-me-Dave Cameron’s cabinet meetings. Therefore, in the event that Rupert Murdoch’s proposed 700p a share bid is accepted for BSkyB and he does become the single most powerful man in the world, I am going to get in early and shotgun Chancellor of the Exchequer. With the tuition fee furore still not over either, it looks like Universities minister may also soon be up for grabs.

Don’t worry: Japan has bouncebackability Japan may be facing nuclear meltdown, but it’s economy may soon flourish Magali Calabressi bathimpact Contributor

n Friday 11th March at 14:46 local time, the largest earthquake in Japanese history (8.9 Richter) struck the area of Tōhoku, located off the coast of Japan. This powerful tremor triggered a tsunami destroying a large part of the northeast. In response to these sudden events, warnings have been sent to as far as California and Chile. Interestingly, the word ‘tsunami’ comes from the Japanese ‘tsu’ meaning ‘harbour’ and ‘nami’ meaning ‘wave’. The intensity and strength of this quake did not only reach the aerial atop of Japan’s landmark – the Tokyo Tower – leaving it bent,

“

Why is the US public sector failing to attract quality applicants

”

but also the nuclear power plant of Fukishima Daiichi located 240km

The Bank of Japan will offer £22.8bn to disaster relief teams from Tokyo. Four of the plant’s reactors have been damaged and consequently citizens have been asked to conserve energy. Naoto Kan, Japan’s Prime Minister, said the country was now experiencing “its worst crisis since the Second World War”, as it handles the aftermath of the calamity. Over 10,000 people are believed to have died, although the official death toll lies at around 4,000. Meanwhile, hundreds of

thousands of people have spent the past few nights at shelters with little food and water supplies. Experts have wide-ranging perspectives on what is to be of Japan’s economy – the third biggest in the world. According to a certain risk modelling company it is estimated that in the worst-case scenario this tragedy will cost Japan as much as $35bn (approx. £22bn). Seeing as, before the quake, Japan was still in

‘recession’, its vulnerability at this time is large and the economy is definitely taking a hit, which in turn is unnerving global investors. Consequently, commodity prices have fallen – in particular oil prices, falling to their lowest levels all month – as the demand for these from one of the world’s leading economies, has rapidly dropped. At the same time the Yen rose to its highest in 15 years following the belief of investors that Japan will need to redeem overseas assets in order to cope with the costs of the country’s reconstruction and insurance pay-outs. To combat the investor’s exploitation of Japan’s current misfortune – by attempting to drive up the prices of the Yen – some of the world’s most powerful central banks have decided to sell billions of dollars worth of Yen. The fact that there is more Yen available means Japan is able to pay less for buying back its currency. Despite the severity of the current situation, it is believed that in the long-run Japan’s economy is likely to bounce back. Yes, there is

an obvious halt to economic growth and in fact, exports from various manufacturers have temporarily stopped placing the country in a semi-standstill, however, one has to note that following the Kobe earthquake in 1995 Japan made an impressive comeback. Even Japan’s own representatives are downgrading the economic impact of the disaster and in particular, Kaoru Yosano – a minister for economic and fiscal policy – says that the areas most affected account for only 4.1 per cent of Japan’s GDP. Finally, according to Jasper Koll (JP Morgan) “Japan will recover, there’s lots of resources, there’s lots of funding and there is a tremendous amount of excess saving here and, ironically, this disaster will actually shake up the Japanese government and policies are going to add tremendously to growth”, adding that “Tōhoku – the region that is being affected – is about 8 per cent of the national economy.” We hope that this difficult situation that Japan is facing will be remedied soon.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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International

Still human and still here Beate Sonerud & Sofie Flaeten bathimpact Contributors

ave you ever wondered what it’s like to sleep outside in March with cardboard as your mattress? After Tuesday night, we know how that feels. Bath’s Amnesty Society organised a sleepout on Parade outside the library as part of the national campaign for asylum seekers, “Still Human, Still Here”. Despite the rain and cold wind, 11 of us showed up with sleeping bags and petition sheets, ready to collect as many signatures as possible for the

are not allowed to work and are expected to survive on £4-5 a day. Amnesty’s campaign aims to change these rules, so that asylum seekers who cannot go back to their countries as well as those who have waited more than 6 months for their application will get the right to work. For the critics out there, if this policy change goes through, the asylum seekers will not steal your jobs, as they will only be permitted to work in sectors where there is a shortage of labour. Not only will this contribute to the UK economy (if they earn

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Festival on the Hill is here! The Festival is an annual celebration of the diversity of cultures here at the University of Bath, including a wide range of fun and lively events highlighting the individual backgrounds of our students. So come along to live performances, films and discussions, and watch out for various displays on the parade throughout the week. Festival on the Hill is brought to you by the Students’ Union, the International Student Advice Team and The ICIA.

Festival Schedule Tuesday 29th March Festival on the Parade

noon- 2pm

Film Night and Discussion on Human Trafficking in the UK Film: Britain’s Secret Slaves

7.15 pm- 9 pm

8W2.1,

Festival Quiz

7.30 pm - 10 pm

Elements

Equality Forum

10.00 am-3.15 pm All Day event

TBS Check bathstudent. com

Voice Workshop with Su Hart Learn music and techniques from the Baka culture and tradition

6.30 pm-9 pm

Arts Barn, Studio 1

Film Night and Discussion Film: Céline and Julie Go Boating

7.30pm -11pm

3WN2.1

Wednesday 30th March

Thursday 31st March

campaign. For those of you who don’t know what Amnesty is, it is an international organisation advocating human rights worldwide. “Still Human, Still Here” is one of their current campaigns in the UK. Local Amnesty groups like ours have been organising sleepouts all over the country for the past few weeks to raise awareness about the destitution of refused asylum seekers. More than 40 organisations are collaborating about this campaign. Thousands of asylum seekers arrive in the UK each year seeking ref-

Caught in a limbo: not allowed to work and expected to survive on £4-5 a day uge because their own countries are unsafe for them. Arriving here does not, however, mean happily ever after: Thousands of applications get rejected each year, but many of these people cannot go back to their home country because it is considered too dangerous by the UK Government (ironically the same people who told them to leave). This means that a large number of asylum seekers are left in limbo. Since their asylum applications have been rejected, they

money, they can also spend it) but the government can use less resources on supporting the asylum seekers. Many students showed great interest in the campaign, and we collected over 200 signatures for the petition. These will be sent to our local MP Don Foster, who will hopefully decide to help change today’s unjust policy towards asylum seekers. More than 20 MPs have already agreed. If you want to show your support (no money or sleeping outside required), just email your name and postcode to Hefin Jones at: hrj21@bath.ac.uk.

Culture Shock Discussion led by VP Welfare & Diversity David Howells

1.15pm- 2.15pm

1E3.6

World Food Programme Art Fashion Show A music, art and fashion extravaganza

7pm- 11pm

Elements

7pm- 10pm

ICIA Arts Theatre

Friday 1st April Global Evening Discussion led by VP Welfare & Diversity David Howells

Visa changes pass

he month-long debacle over proposed student visa changes has finally come to an end, with the Home Secretary, Theresa May, announcing last Tuesday that a series of changes to the student visa system would be made. The rules for student visas into the UK are to be much tougher due to fears that this route of entry is being abused by foreigners seeking a way into the UK and are an attempt to reform the immigration system and cut net immigration into the UK. The changes come despite an outcry from Higher Education institutions, including the University of Bath. The Home Secretary announced that the total number of student visas will be cut by up to 80,000 - about 25% of the current numbers. The changes will also include tougher English requirements for some institutions and tighter regulations allowing the dependants of students to join them in the UK. In

addition overseas students will experience limits on the hours of part-time work they are able to carry out while studying, although these changes will not affect students at universities and

8,000

Number of student visas to be cut

publicly funded Further Education colleges. There will be less flexibility in the number of years that international students can spend in the UK while looking for work after courses are finished. The new measures will be introduced in stages over the next 12 months. Many of the restrictions are targeted at students in private colleges, rather than at universities. The University and College Union general secretary, Sally Hunt, said of the changes: “The

government’s student visa plans are short-sighted and risk sending out the worrying message that the UK is closed for business.” The main changes affecting overseas students at the University of Bath will be the closure of the Tier 1 Post Study Work route in April 2012. Students wishing to work after their studies will have to switch into the Tier 2 route, a brand new route created specifically to attract student entrepreneurs. There are also to be tighter controls on evidence of finances when applying for a Tier 4 student visa. For a full list of changes that will be affecting overseas students at the University of Bath particularly please visit the International Office website. Will you be affected by the changes to the student visa system? How do you feel about these restrictions? Email your opinions to international@bathimpact.com

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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International

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After Res 1973: What next for Libya?

The no-fly zones might be in place in Libya but there is still no end in sight to the conflict. Foreign Correspondent Ivaylo Iaydjiev looks at possible resolutions

“

May you be cursed to live in interesting times”. This ancient Chinese saying can probably best summarise the amazing events all around the world in the first quarter of 2011. Right now, however, attention is again focused on Libya and its leader, the “Mad Dog” Colonel Muhamar Gaddafi. The Libyan people have been under his erratic rule for more than four decades throughout which he has managed to move several times between a leader of a pariah state sponsoring terrorism to an ally against Al Qaeda. Accompanied by Ukrainian nurses, guarded by Amazon warriors, personal friend to Italian PM Berlusconi and a host of other political leaders, always wearing black sunglasses and insisting on deploying his tent everywhere he goes, he is indeed, to recycle Churchill’s aphorism, an “riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma”. Nevertheless, he hasn’t hesitated to unleash strikes against his own population – after initial confusion, he declared on TV that he will “poke both eyes” of all his enemies and proceeded to gather loyalist forces in Tripoli, assembling a semblance of a semi-professional force composed of some loyal troops, his personal Revolutionary guard, and especially mercenaries from a little bit all over the world. Then, despite some defections, he mounted a successful offensive against the rebel stronghold of Benghazi, the center of the National Transitional Council. Bombardments of civilian population by his airplanes have allegedly been a key element of his strategy; however, he now seems to have miscalculated the resolve of the international community and the uneasiness of other Arab states with his behaviour. Just as Gaddafi’s troops were approaching and actually entering Benghazi late last Thursday, the UN Security Council approved Resolution 1973, which “authorizes Member States ... to take all necessary measures ... to protect civilians and civilian populated areas under threat of attack in the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, including Benghazi, while excluding a foreign occupation force of any form on any part of Libyan territory”. The vote itself was extremely interesting – the French, supported by the British and the Lebanese brought forward the draft resolution, which received unexpectedly strong support from a previous reluctant US, which lead to the use of strong language. In order for the vote to pass, five countries abstained – Russia, China, Brazil, India and Germany. The no-fly zone was enforced almost

immediately by rotating airstrikes by French and English airplanes, supported by US cruise missiles fired from ships in the Mediterranean. The first stage of the operation has been labelled a success as combined efforts and much superior air technology quickly destroyed the overwhelming majority of anti-aircraft installations, tore apart the over-stretched supply lines of pro-Gaddafi’s forces, and pushed his troops away from Benghazi. Now, however, comes the tricky part – what to do next? The superiority in terms of firepower is overwhelmingly on the side of the UN coalition, but the first cracks have started to appear. Unsurprisingly, perhaps, the most important question is whether the Arab states will support the action. A call from the Arab League, usually divided and incapable of coming up with common positions (and yes, they are even more divided than the foreign policy of the EU), for the imposition of a no-fly zone has been a key catalyst for the UN resolution. Moreover, Qatari jets are now symbolically involved in the military operations, with the possible involvement of some United Arab Emirates jets being negotiated. The final division is both political and military – after the initial bombardments and the establishment of a nofly zone, it is now unclear who will head the operation and how future action will be conducted. On the one hand, the US wants to step down and President Obama is clearly against too much American involvement in order to avoid the appearance of the US attacking another Muslim country. On the other hand, it is the NATO structure and capabilities which are central

to military strikes; therefore transferring command is likely to be tricky, with the French particularly against direct involvement of NATO due to its bad reputation in the region. Now that the air power is in place with French, British, American, Danish, Italian, Norwegian, Canadian, Belgian, Greek and Qatari jets, the international community can take a brea and ask itself “What next?”. There are numerous scenarios possible. The hidden hope of the military action was to demonstrate overwhelming superiority, which would quickly demoralise Gaddafi’s troops and potentially incite somebody close to him to attack him from the inside; however, given the

extreme paranoia of Gaddafi and his reliance on mercenaries, this seems unlikely. We could also see a return to some form of stalemate – the wording of the UN resolution does not go much further than a protection from air strikes. Finally, some are calling for the removal of Gaddafi, but this is probably outside the strict scope of the mandate; furthermore, the Libyan rebels strongly feel it is their duty to finish this war. At the core of the issue there is a war of images around civilians, with Gaddafi denouncing a colonialist crusade and displaying images of injured civilians with doubtful veracity. He has also armed civilians and invited them to his military bases, thus creating a sort of a human shield, which poses a key dilemma for the coalition forces. The cornerstone of their intervention being protection of all civilians, they cannot be seen as killing civilians which support Gaddafi as this will seriously erode their legitimacy. As we are moving closer to some kind of resolution to this conflict, the endgame remains obscured. What is particularly frustrating to the coalition forces is that actually how events turn out is effectively now outside of their control and in the hands of the two local rivals. On one hand, it is important to see how Gaddafi will adjust his strategy – he has promised a “long war”, but he hasn’t yet turned to classic asymmetrical tactics used when combatting an adversary with overwhelming military advantage. If he does disband his forces, goes into hiding and decides to wage a guerrilla terrorist campaign not dissimilar to Iraq, than this will naturally cause a signifi-

cant headache to any reconstruction efforts in this country full of tribal tensions. On the other hand, the identity and actions of the rebels continue to be unclear. They clearly want to drive out Gaddafi but it is by no means sure that they are able to do so with their forces, lightly armed and lacking training – things the international community could provide if there were not fears of sophisticated weapons falling in the hands of terrorist organisations. Therefore, even after the military intervention, the situation remains very fluid and there is a non-negligible possibility of a drawn out conflict whereas the prospects for democratic Libya are pushed to the indefinite future. In conclusion, it is worth asking what can we make out of all this? In the wake of the bombardments some have decried yet another war for oil – but Libya is outside the top 10 producers in the world even if a very large part of its petrol does flow to Europe. Moreover, recent hikes in petrol prices are much more closely related with the situation in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. Turning for counsel to history, we can see that no-fly zones were imposed with mixed results both in Bosnia and in Iraq. The most pertinent parallel, however, remains the relatively successful intervention in Kuwait against Saddam Hussein in 1991 where international coalition acting under UN mandate drove out the aggressor from the country. Nevertheless, we should keep in mind that the extraordinary developments in the region and focus not only on Libya, but also Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, Yemen,and even Oman, Algeria and Morocco.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

International

www.bathimpact.com

Do we need a nuclear shutdown? Or are countries blowing the situation out of proportion? Sarya Ricke takes an in-depth look.

ollowing the catastrophic earthquake and tsunami, consequently leading to a nuclear disaster in Japan, opposition to the use of nuclear energy as a source has risen. Furthermore, the majority of countries across the globe are beginning to doubt either their already established nuclear facilities or their prospects of building new plants. The European Union has made an agreement to carry out stress tests on all nuclear power plants in member countries to ensure that the prolonged use of the facilities has a high safety level. France has requested tests to be performed on 58 of its reactors, which seems vital as it has the highest dependency on nuclear energy in the world. Other countries in Europe such as Switzerland and Bulgaria have brought their plans of building new nuclear plants to a complete halt. On 15th March Germany’s

chancellor Angela Merkel ordered for 7 of the country’s plants to be closed, explaining this reaction as necessary after Japan’s crisis. One quarter of Germany’s energy derives from nuclear power plants and, although last year the government consented to a 12-year extension in the use of nuclear energy, this idea has been erased and the country is now heading to “reach the age of renewable energy as soon as possible”, Merkel confirms. Another country that has surprisingly put its prospects to a standstill is China. Twenty-seven new reactors are currently being built; however, the construction process has been rescheduled and plans for further nuclear sources have also been delayed. China is showing a responsible reaction to the crisis, justifying their understanding that if an error occurred with any of their reactors the consequences would be worse due to

the plants being in close proximity to highly populated areas. The government has also decided to complete checks on all of the already built plants as well as the ones under construction. Contrarily, Romania and Poland are going ahead with their building prospects. It is evident that not all countries are concerned with the effects a nuclear disaster could bring and perhaps they stand correct. Several companies will continue to assure governments that the modern technology used to create the nuclear plants is undoubtedly safe. Japan is a country that is prone to earthquakes, tsunamis and further natural disasters that can lead to this kind of crisis. Countries that are not in seismically active zones, however, should not fear such accidents. So is the world overreacting? France, Italy and Germany’s green parties can defy this opinion and prove their point about unsafe nuclear ener-

gy. They state that even Japan, as the most technologically advanced country in the world, could not prevent such an event either, therefore how would other countries handle such a catastrophe? The opposition parties continue to promote new sources of renewable energy and governments

have decided to turn to these as shown in Germany by Angela Merkel’s reaction. Nevertheless, with a growing demand for and a high consumption of energy, how countries will manage with the slow implementation of renewable sources and without the use of nuclear energy, remains a problem.

Travel Bug: the beautiful Southampton

Ever wondered why Tinie Tempah chose to visit this coastal city over Scunthorpe? While the contest between these two cities (or distinct lack thereof! - Dep Ed) doesn’t exactly make bathimpact Pass Out, resident Sotonian Hannah Raymont reveals that this Titanic city really does have a lot to offer...

his jewel on Britain’s south coast might seem at first glance like just another grimy industrial port, but, in fact, only in Southampton can you stroll alongside original and largely intact medieval defence walls interspersed amongst urban, contemporary architecture and enjoy some of the best shopping and entertainment outside London. The cheapest and most convenient way to get to Southampton is by train and if you’re canny and cunning enough, it’ll cost you less than a fiver! If you buy on the day, expect to pay around £15 from Bath Spa, travelling via Salisbury. Once you arrive at Southampton Central, take in the sea air and hop on the free shuttle bus (running every 15 minutes) that delivers you straight to the city centre in about 2 minutes, dropping you off conveniently where the main high street (Above Bar) and the entrance to the major shopping spot, West Quay shopping centre, meet. Or, if you have an urge to start pounding the city’s streets straight away, the station is fortunately well-positioned and it takes little more than 10 minutes to get to the centre of town by foot. If you’re stopping off from abroad, Southampton is only 70 minutes from London Heathrow and cen-

Nothing beats a drink by the marina on a warm summer’s evening tral London and has its own airport with great connections near the city. Southampton sits among the top 20 retail destinations in the UK and absolutely caters for every budget. To boot, it has one of the best art galleries (housed in the Civic Centre) and a theatre (Mayflower) that rivals London ’s West End. If you need essential home supplies with a cheap and tasty lunch to refuel afterwards, a visit to Southampton is perfect, as there is a huge IKEA store situated right in the city centre, next to West Quay, which is open until 8pm MonSat, thus every night is a late-night shopping night: shopaholics rejoice! If you fancy something a little off the same old beaten track of chain stores, check out Beatnik Emporium at the northern end of Above Bar high

street for wacky fancy dress costumes, as well as an abundance of vintage treasures. If the sun is shining (Southampton is at its prime in the summer), bask in the beautiful gardens opposite with your purchases, before heading up Bedford Place for more independent boutiques and a look at some of the city’s cheapest and best night spots, which brings me on nicely to Southampton’s amazing nightlife. With its two universities, Southampton is exceptionally studentfriendly and despite it being, er, in the South and by association ‘expensive,’ and ‘unfriendly’ your money can go surprisingly far in this fun-loving city. There is a student night somewhere every night of the week, and with alcohol consumption among Southampton students apparently higher than

average, it seems that people partying in Hampshire’s biggest city are certainly making the most of those cheap drinks! Southampton has something for every taste: Ocean&Collins for chart hits, Soul Cellar which boasts great music and a chilled-out vibe as well as a wide range of continental beers, Sobar and Jesters for a student vibe and Unit 22 for alternative tunes, just to name a minute selection. It would not, however, be a proper night out without a stop-off at The Hobbit for some Lord of the Rings-themed pint cocktails. For the more ‘grown-up’ amongst you, be sure to sip Orc-free cocktails in the sophisticated bars and restaurantclubs lining Ocean Village marina and replenish the next day in Southampton’s oldest pub, the nearby Red Lion, whose infrastructure dates back to 1148 and is reputedly haunted. Alternatively, pick up a bargainous yet luxurious £5 lunch from NV, a chic restaurant converted from an old bank building. Also, any selfrespecting gig-goer should definitely not miss a chance to visit one of the UK’s most renowned music venues. Opening its doors in 1968, the Joiner’s Arms (known locally as simply ‘the Joiner’s’) has hosted numerous acts who have since become international superstars, such as Green Day, Oasis and Coldplay

to namecheck a few. A variety of exciting music hopefuls grace its stage every night and - who knows - you could spot the next big thing! It is an incredibly intimate venue and tickets rarely exceed £7.

The stunning interior of NV restaurant If you need a break from bustling city life , check out the acres of breathtaking landscape that comprises the New Forest, 30 minutes away from Southampton. Enjoy lunch in an olde worlde pub, or treat your loved one to a romantic getaway in Cottage Lodge, one of the best B&Bs in southern England, a genteel cottage dating back to 1627 in nearby Brockenhurst.. Although the city can be well-covered in a day given its short distance from Bath, for a great place to stay in Southampton itself, look up the Jurys Inn or the vast array of highly recommended B&Bs in the city for a cheap break and overall great alternative to London, with an inimitably sunnier disposition.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

International

www.bathimpact.com

Do we need a nuclear shutdown? Or are countries blowing the situation out of proportion? Sarya Ricke takes an in-depth look.

Travel Bug: the beautiful Southampton

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Science

www.bathimpact.com

The History and Future of Stem Cell Research

Supermoon and Tsunami: is there any link?

Robyn Brook bathimpact writer

times that moon is further away from the earth and the distance of earth and moon varies from time to time, approximately between 221,000 and 250,000 miles. The supermoon phenomenon occurs when the moon is closest to the earth, which leads to a 30%

increase in brightness and 14% increase in size to the naked eye (the fact that it is low in horizon makes it so vast in comparison with other objects and creates an optical illusion). The moon on Saturday was 221,567 miles away from earth; pretty close as the average distance between the moon and earth is 235,000 miles. The distance is so close that some people have labelled it as an “extreme” supermoon. This phenomenon happens only once every 20 years. Many people are keen to know if the tsunami that occurred on 10th March 2011 in Japan has got anything to do with the moon’s proximity to earth. Is there a correlation between this “extreme” moon’s orbit cycle and disasters on Earth? The thinking goes that, if the moon can have such an impact on sea water, which covers three-quarters of the Earth’s surface, it must be strong enough to drive other phenomena, such as tsunamis, tremors or hurricanes. In my opinion, this is wrong. Sure, the facts show that the moon was the closest to earth on Saturday than in the last 20 years but this is only 2% closer than usual and is restricted to tidal forces only. The figure below shows the reason for the tsunami and it has no real connection whatsoever with the super moon phenomena, it’s simply because of the layer of earth sliding on top of each other. Flickr

y now you might all have heard or seen the super moon either via the Internet or, if you were as lucky as me, with your own eyes! This phenomenon happened on Saturday 19th March 2011 around 7:20pm (time of picture captured). To everyone it is an obvious fact that the moon orbits around the earth due to the gravity of the earth but what most people don’t know is that the moon is orbiting in an elliptical shape that is not a perfect circle. This means that there are

tem cell research has been making headlines ever since Embryonic Stem Cells (ESC) were isolated from mice in 1981 by Noble Prize winner Martin Evans. Since the most versatile cells could only be extracted by destroying human embryos, ESC research was

Flickr

Behzad Lofti explains two big natural phenomena in one

the huge variety of faults that lead to disease lots of different lines of ESC’s are needed. This is hindered further by the limited number of donor eggs. Just when the would-be miracle discovery began to stall, scientists within Kyoto University, led by Shinya Yamanaka, demonstrated that induced pluripotent stem cells (iPS) could be made from human

This one sheep called Dolly represents a giant leap for mankind often the subject of much political turmoil and ethical confusion, which threatened to eclipse one of the scientific breakthroughs of the century. Then, in 2007, scientists created a revolutionary way to reprogramme cells without destroying them, thereby side-stepping the ethical issues that had hampered crucial progress for so long. The first human ESC’s were isolated from fertilised cells left over from IVF in 1998 and brought with them awesome scientific potential and the promise of breakthrough medical treatments for life-threatening illness. Stem cells are the building blocks of an organism’s development. They can multiply indefinitely and can become any cell type in the body. An embryo just a few days old is made of a ball of a few dozen ESC’s which will multiply and go on to form everything that makes up a human. Within this novel, rapidly growing field, however, there were many obstacles to overcome. Apart from the ethical concerns that caused George Bush to ban government funding of ESC research using human embryos there were also immediate practical problems. The wide genetic variations in humans meant that to understand and treat

skin cells. These iPS cells are like embryonic stem cells but made without using embryos. The skin cells are reprogrammed using a virus to ‘inject’ specific bits of DNA into the cells’ nuclei. Once the genetic material has incorporated into the cell’s own DNA, the cell regresses back into an ES-like cell by using specific chemicals. This method means that scientists potentially have a limitless supply of stem cells which can be used in experiments to monitor what goes wrong in genetic diseases. This kind of insight could allow scientists to

stop the progression of a disease in its track or help to understand diseases that previously had no animal models and methods of study. Already models have been made for diseases like juvenile diabetes and sickle cell anaemia using iPS cells. The pace of knowledge generation in this field is such that improvements are already being made to the technique of generating iPS cells whereby viruses are no longer needed and chemicals alone are used to re-programme body cells. It’s still not an easy ride from here, however, as Monya Baker (editor of Nature Reports Stem Cells) noted in a 2009 article looking at the future of iPS cell technology, “Turning knowledge into medicine is never easy.” The very property that makes these cells so useful in research could also be disastrous if the proper precautions aren’t taken in their application.” The possibility of growing replacement tissues for patients in need of transplants is threatened by the capability of these immortal and versatile cells to develop into tumours or even grow into tissues in the wrong areas. Nonetheless, despite the problems of public perception, practical obstacles and potential side effects, what is clear is that breakthroughs in stem cell research have tapped into the power of our own development. Stem cell medicine could not only transform treatments for life-threatening illnesses such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, diabetes and cancer but also improve the quality of life for those suffering from blindness, deafness, myocardial infarction and arthritis and revolutionise procedures like bone-marrow transplantations and dental reconstruction. For a field that is barely a few years old, it’s made quite the first impression.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Science

www.bathimpact.com

Urine - could pissing around soon become hugely productive? Esther Osarfo-Mensah Deputy Science Editor

Sam Lewtas

eeling disgusted at the rise in fuel prices? Fed up with the exploitation of our dwindling fossil fuels? Looking for an alternative? Well, it looks like those Yanks have found an answer... and it’s sitting rather patiently in your loo.

Electro-lyte? No. The new yellow energy liquid is seriously electricity rich.

For thousands of years, it’s been well known that urine is incredibly useful in a huge range of situations. Due to its sterility, medical practitioners have long been advocating its utilisation in the cleansing of wounds; it was used by mothers to treat nappy rash and recommended by a 17th century doctor as an orally ingested remedy for “extreme soreness” of the throat. In Roman, and other well established civilisations back in the day, the waste product was used to dye fabrics, whilst the French once gleaned it to proudly wash their hats. During the First World War, soldiers would soak their cloth face masks in the stuff in an attempt to counter the chlorine gas attacks by the enemy. And it worked, given that the urea present in the urine reacts with Cl2 to produce the much safer product of dichlorourea. Today, however, we selfishly flush this resource away without a backward glance. Nevertheless, research conducted by Gerardine Botte, a professor of Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering at Ohio University, has shown that we can once again put the yellow stuff back to good use. Urine contains ammonia and urea, two

compounds that are invaluable resources of hydrogen which can then go on to be used in fuel cells. The hydrogen is extracted via electrolysis, where an electrical current passes through a substance and decomposes it into different substituents. The nickel-based electrodes used in the cell oxidize the urea and ammonia and 0.37 volts is then applied to break down the molecules across the cell. The pure hydrogen is collected at the cathode and the oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen at the anode. Carbon dioxide is also evolved during the process, but it is quickly removed using potassium hydroxide, forming potassium carbonate which is used in soap and glass production. The entire process is cheaper and more energetically efficient that the more accepted electrolysis of water to produce H2. The hydrogen atoms have weaker bonds in urea and ammonia molecules than in water, and a larger current of 1.23 volts is required to split it. According to Botte, 2 kilowatts of power could be generated in an office building containing 200300 employees. She goes on to calculate that 40-50 kilowatts of power can be further produced

The wonderful science of urine - is this a usual colour? from 1000 cows. It may not seem to be enough power for the countless electrical and motors we own, but at least it’s a renewable resource. Before you go away thinking that this is another obscure technological advancement, E3 Clean Technologies, a company dedicated to cleansing wastewater to provide hydrogen and pure water,

was set up to commercialize the process, with Botte placed as Chief Technological Officer. By the close of 2012, they intend to have the ‘GreenBox’ prototype all geared up to unleash onto the public. So before long, we’ll be stopping at roadside refuelling stations where the pipes connecting our cars and the urinals will meet in glorious unison. Sort of.

Will increasing oil prices finally wake up the US?

Rachel Shaw gives bathimpact the low down on the American situation

il prices are increasing – old news. We are all faced with the prospect of paying £6 per gallon every time we have to fill up our tank. The fact that American gas prices are finally on the rise is more interesting news. The average price across America is $3.50 per gallon, at today’s currency rate that is a measly £2.18. They faced an average rise of 77 cents this year (48p) and all hell broke loose. Complaints are being made against the Obama administration about his not controlling this situation. The United States manages to use up around ¼ of all of the world’s oil supply. It may be big in size but it is not big in population. Only 4.5% of the world’s population actually live in America. The UK sits at 0.89% and yet our size and pollution levels are minuscule by comparison. The American President has been criticised by many for not do-

ing enough since coming into power, but, from the view point of the environment, he has done a lot. Suspending the drilling of oil in the Gulf of Mexico, and with no drilling anticipated in ANWR in Alaska in the near future, has led to this increase in oil prices. What does this increase mean for those environmentally conscious readers out there? Will Americans think more carefully about the electricity they use now their wallets will feel the effect more? Whilst writing this report I am living in America and such a firsthand account of their attitudes to the environment lead me to think the answer is no. In America the easiest option is always the most wasteful. The cheapest food in the supermarket, indeed the only food in the supermarket, is the most unhealthy and environmentally unfriendly. Businesses know that selling healthier, more environmentally friendly

products means raising prices, such as what Obama has begun to do with fuel. To raise prices is to risk the wrath of the average uniformed in-

dividual who doesn’t see the benefit behind a little extra cost to themselves. The governor of Mississippi says

that Obama is secretly cheering for an even higher rise in fuel prices. Well, if you are Obama, I am certainly behind you.

The birds around the Gulf are swimming in the stuff... and apparently have weapons of mass destruction. The Americans are currently in political talks with the birds but are prepared to use any force necessary.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Science

www.bathimpact.com

Charliesheenology - the science of winning Sam Lewtas Science Editor science@bathimpact.com

hroughout history there have been 3 major disciplines of science; biology, chemistry and physics. But there seems there seems to be a new field that begs further exploration. That field is charliesheenology. What-

ever the hell he is, martian or otherwise, this thing is biwinning his way into every corner of the globe leaving the question: why shouldn’t we too? Furthermore, cutting edge research has shed light on just the beginning of a whole plethora of reasons why we should. We could soon be seeing the dawn of a whole

new age for mankind: the Sheen Age. One thing that certainly isn’t unknown is his diet, which consists of tiger blood, 7 gram rocks and pornstars. Confirmation of earlier hypotheses has concluded that he does infact process lethal doses of drugs with out incurring any harm, but also chemically changes them to strengths 250% stronger than what is normal. In a comparison study looking at regular bodies and Charlie Sheen, he was found to have a basal metabolic rate of Two and a Half Men. One of the leaders of the field, Professor H. Raymont, had this to say after her pioneering research looking into his DNA samples that were readily collected from members of his extensive harem, “He’s extraordinary, and he only has one gear, and that’s go.” His billions of fans, however, have been asking another question, just how clever is Charlie Sheen? Even after extensive testing by our best psychologists, Charlie Sheen has manged to outshine us all again by ‘passing’ all

the tests designed for quantitative analysis, proving that his verbal IQ is indeed extraordinary, perhaps down to the fact of his extraterrestrial origin; which only leaves the debate firing on. The first famous discovery, by the esteemed Sam Lewtas from the University of Bath, was that his brain produces its own unique enzyme, known now as biwinase. It has the ability to break down any residual bullshit, leaving only pure and uninhibited streams of creativity. The metabolites in the meanwhile are secreted through his raw man scented sweatglands and attracts supermodels and pornstars that are of appropriate calibre, leaving them devoid of any free will. Dr Rowan Emslie and his team from the Michigan Institute of Technology are looking into the fundamental composition of this awesome being, “With his early life on Mars, he has the unique ability to thrive in both sulphurus atmospheres and oxygen. My research team and I have been looking into the possibilities of using the se-

crets of his impressive physiology in deeper space exploration.” He is hoping that passage to Mars will be able to further fuel his extraterrestrial fetish. His Dad’s claim that his ‘addictive behaviour’ was cancer was shot

down by Sheen’s very own discovery, that dying is for fools. What marvels we have yet to see can only be speculated, but the extra wisdom and scientific insight we can learn from him will only get greater with time.

Why do humans hook-up? Rachel Shaw bathimpact writer

n our modern society, hooking up has become a standard and accepted practice for both males and females. The erosion of social speed bumps has made the usual hook-up a weekly event for the average student, but is it just our raging hormones taking control? The University of Gannon found that caucasians are more likely than students of other colour to engage in such activities. Other factors such as religion came into play, an important one being parental affluence. Students coming from a wealthier background are more likely to have a one night stand. Findings from the University of Portsmouth have shown that women respond more to a man’s flirting whilst they are in a fertile stage of their menstrual cycle. Has science shown us we all are predetermined to act according to what our biology dictates, or because of what our parents are? Is there a bright side to this? For those who have engaged in a one-off fumble in the dark - intoxicated or not - there is evidence from the University of Louisville, Kentucky, that this leads to a decrease in reported feelings of loneliness and depressive symptoms from before to after a hook-up.

So should society really blame students for the need that drives us to casual night out to end up with company? Is the possibility of meeting someone not the reason many venture out in the first place? If the solution to loneliness is two individuals enjoying a causal get together, with no expectation of future interactions, then what is responsible for a lack of other acceptable solutions to our consuming solitude? There is a worrying other side to Louisville’s research, they found that young adults well adapted to their environment already, who then engaged in hook-ups, were

found to become more lonely at the next report 4 months later. How should a student act? Follow the pressures of fellows, where one nighters become a source of banter and common ground between friends, helping to secure a place of social standing within a friendship group? Do you act because you feel a hook up may develop in the long run? Or could it be that you act this way because you are an individual, separate from the herd surrounding you and, one day, somebody may just realise that.

Professor Science he loves the questions noone else can be bothered to answer Cartoon: Darius G

Hi Professor, it’s getting sunny again and sitting out by the lake means the usual dilemma of getting harrassed by a seemingly endless number of hungry ducks. But in the winter, when nobody can be arsed feeding them, what do they eat? Ducks, very much like humans, swing both ways when it comes down to food, and have an omnivorous diet of both animal matter and plants. Wild grains are highly nutritous for the duck as they contain nutrients and carbohydrates, so the borders of the pond are a rich feeding ground. They also eat the insects around the pond, keeping them in check, but it’s not until breeding season that they go absolutely quackers for insects, craving their rich mix of fats and protein. They also mop up the pondweed, providing us a real service, so remember that when you’re eating up your luxurious packed lunch in front of them. Please also note that their little bellies (though not so little here on campus) aren’t as advanced as ours and crisps, chocolate and cake can do damage as they cause fat to deposit around their organs. Don’t do it! Unless your ‘re trying to make an express pâté.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Media

www.bathimpact.com U n i versity

Bath

Students’

U n i on

STUDENT

URB BLURB

University of Bath Students’ Union

14 4 9 A M

Our wonderful Student Radio Station 1449am URB explain why they are representing societies at UoB

m edia U

RB is committed to representing the wide variety of societies available here at Bath, giving you the opportunities to express yourselves. One new way we’re doing this is with the Islamic Society Show, which airs every Saturday at 2pm. As well as broadcasting a weekly sermon, the show also hosts discussion of matters both religious and political. For example, recent shows have focused on the conflict in Libya, with contributions from a Libyan student and a politics professor (podcasts coming

soon). If you’d like to pose any questions to the panel or find out more about the show, email Darah at darahgahnem@gmail.com. We’re also currently producing an ethics show with representatives of all the faith societies. I’ve you’d like to get involved or suggest discussion topics, email Katie at urbprogram@bath.ac.uk. If your society would like to put together a show for URB, about anything from best curry recipes to film reviews then please email Katie at urb-program@bath.ac.uk

athimpact, 1449AM URB and CTV all provided extensive coverage of the 2011 Sabb Elections last week, from campaigning to results. As always, bathimpact brought you the 10 candidate’s manifestos, however this year it was done through a 12-page Sabb Special. In this issue we wanted to explain WHY you should vote, HOW you could vote and WHO you could vote for. Many candidates were proud enough of their manifestos to take this issue around to fresher kitchens with them during campaigning to explain the importance of voting to decide who should run the Students’ Union in the next academic year. During the week

we were at hustings, asking questions about the role of Student Media in the operation of the SU (much to Election Spy’s amusement). Our student radio station 1449AM URB covered the question and answer

sessions live, allowing students to listen at home as well as watching live in the Student Centre. These recordings were then made into podcasts, to allow students who missed it to listen again to try to help people make more

WHAT’S HOT ON URB:

THE CHARTS URB contributes to the Student Radio Chart – your chance to hear all those tracks that have been a favourite for presenters and listeners across the world of Student Radio in the past week. It is com-

piled using airplay on stations and listener interaction such as votes via our Soundtrack Selector on the website. The latest Student Radio Chart was hosted by 1449am URB right here in Bath. Here it is:

informed decisions. CTV, as usual, recorded the 10 candidates prior to campaign week. The individual videos, which lasted up to a minute each, were released on Tuesday of campaign week and were a chance for the voters to see the candidates in action, explaining why they would be best for the job. Through print, video, radio and online broadcasting, the three media groups did their bit to publicise the elections and the 10 candidates as much as possible. Get involved in Bath Student Media and perhaps you could be helping with coverage this time next year?

Sabbatical Elections 2011

Successful Student Media coverage of Sabbatical Elections 2011

1 Lady Gaga Born this way 2 J. Lo ft. Pitbull On the floor 3 Jessie J ft B.o.B Price Tag 4 Take That Kidz 5 Rihanna S&M 6 The Wanted Gold Forever 7 Adele Someone like you 8 Tinie Temper ft. Ellie Goulding Wonderman 9 Neon Trees Animal 10 The Strokes Under cover of darkness

Friday 18th March 2011

What, who, why, how? bathimpact brings you all you need to know for the upcoming elections and a look at the candidates.

sabbspecial 11 Whiz Khalifa Black and Yellow 12 Eminem ft. Skylar Grey I need a doctor 13 Everything Everthing Final form 14 The Pretty Wreckless Make me wanna die 15 Katy B Broken Record 16 Noah and the Whale L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N 17 Nicole Scherziner Don’t hold your breath 18 The Black Eyed Peas Just can’t get enough 19 Alexis Jordan Good girl 20 Taio Cruz Higher

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Activities

www.bathimpact.com

‘Queen of Clubs’ shortly to abdicate her throne

ow! What a lovely past week it has been for campaigning! I cannot believe I was out there campaigning as the Queen of Clubs one year ago! This year has been incredible and it has gone soo fast! Best of luck to the new team in all their endeavours! I got quite emotional yesterday when I was looking at the event system and I saw lots of “Closing Socials”/”End of Year Socials”….where has the year gone??? A crazy two weeks! I’ve had immense fun over the past two weeks attending various society events and activities! I was hypnotised by Adam Night at the BAPS Hypnotist Show on the 15th March…although Hypnotised for only a small amount of time it was quite an experience. There were some extremely entertaining students throughout the rest of the show! I was very impressed by the number of tickets sold and the publicity of the event. So well done guys!!! The RAG Fashion show on the 16th March was an incredible event with fantastic goodie bags and awesome fashion! The show sold out which is a great credit to all the staff and students involved. The event raised a lot

of money for their charity Sue Ryder Care. Wine Soc took part in a Blind Tasting Competition in Bristol on the 17th March. I had the pleasure of going with them and although we came second it was still great fun! The BAMSA night in the Arts Lecture Theatre on 18th March was a lovely evening of Malaysian Food complementing a great performance of a story about two daughters Onion and Garlic. The dancing and costumes were incredible. It was great that the University Secretary was present to enjoy the show. The Chaos Concert last Friday was one of the best I have ever been to. The Concert Band blew me away with their volume and fantastic percussion. The Barbers once again were stars wow the crowd with their unaccompanied songs! BUASS did a fantastic job of organising their Asian Night in Komedia last Sunday. The food was excellent and the performances really inspiring to watch. The committee did very well to sell out the event. I had a very enjoyable evening. Tueday 22nd March saw another lovely evening with the Wine Society. We went to a lovely tasting at Great Western Wines just at the bottom of

still good fun! Judging the Management Society Dragons Den Competition on Saturday was also great fun with lots of students demonstrating lots of great ideas! Well done to everyone I judged for and keep up the good work Management Society Committee! Even more good luck…. To Music Soc with their Battle of the Bands heat 2 at the Green Park Tavern on the 31st March. BUDS are going debating in Paris which should be very exciting 31st March – 3rd April. Visual Arts have some awesome Sculpture Workshops on the 2nd and 3rd and then 8th and 9th April for more information contact Wellsway. After tasting three of the white wines we also got to enjoy some delicious food before the three red wines to finish off the night. BUST put together a great show in the form of two Black Comedies called Blue Heart. The show took place in the Museum of Bath at Work 24th – 26th March and it entertained me greatly! The BUNCS LAN I joined in with on Friday was an awesome experience. I’m soo bad at gaming but it was

their chair Ibbi (ia219@bath.ac.uk). The next Body Soc show spectacular will take place 7th – 9th April 2011 in the Arts Lecture Theatre! It looks like its going to be a great event – tickets available from ICIA! Make sure you check out their article on these pages too! Many students next weekend will be embarking on an adventure Hitch Hiking to Paris! They are all doing this through RAG to raise money for Charity so make sure you sponsor anyone going! Best of luck to everyone making the trip and to anyone helping out with the phones in the office. Have lots of fun Activities Love Ann

BodySoc presents:

The Fifth Element

BUSMS final in Bath’s Top Talent

t’s exciting times for Bath University Student Musicals Society (BUSMS). We’re coming towards the end of rehearsals for ‘The Wedding Singer’, and, for the first time ever, we are showing off our musical skills in a talent competition! Bath’s Top Talent is the annual local talent show ran by Komedia Bath, with entertainment coming from a mixture of unique talent and X-factor-style judges’ comments. The competition is carried out in three heats, with three acts from each heat getting into the final. Auditions are re-opened after each heat, so it’s not too late – www.komedia.co.uk/bath if you’re interested. Auditionees so far have included, among many others, a middle-aged drama group, a teenage breakdancing troupe and a musicals society masquerading as an acapella pop choir.

“

”

BUSMS decided to get involved upon hearing about the competition following the success of performing a choral acapella rendition of Fountains of Wayne’s hit

Stacy’s Mom in our annual revue show Encore. Arranged by musical extraordinaire Tom Lees, the version was great fun and the chance to reprise it in a competitive environment was relished. The song was performed by a largely similar group for the audition in early February, successfully to qualify BUSMS for the first heat in late February. For this, BUSMS continued with the cheesy pop theme, an original medley of the songs of Katy Perry arranged once again by Mr. Lees. There was strength in numbers going into the heat – BUSMS outnumbered the entire other eight acts competing – but the other eight acts showed great talent. BUSMS impressed the audience enough to go through, alongside would-be West End singer Christo-

pher Tong and Bath students Jerry and Suzie, the latter’s spellbinding rendition of Regina Spektor’s Samson owning the evening. The judges were positive too (other than an unwelcome call for a beatboxer). The other two heats are still to come on the 31st March and 21st April, with the grand finale on 26th May. Tickets can be purchased for any of these on the Komedia website, so if you can please come along and support BUSMS, Jerry and Suzie and any other Bath students who may yet make the final. If what we’ve been doing interests you, it’s not too late as we will be rehearsing and performing an entirely new reworking for the final. Contact jw426@bath.ac.uk if you’re interested. Beatboxers especially welcome. Jamie Wright, BUSMS

BodySoc in action but not a J-P Gaultier bandage dress in sight

rom Thursday 7th until Saturday 9th April, Bodysoc will be hosting their annual dance show, which this year is ‘The Fifth Element’. Representing the elements of water, fire, earth and air, Bodysoc will perform various styles of dance, from ballet and tap to hiphop and contemporary. It proves to be a very different and exciting show, especially with more male dancers this year than ever before! Bodysoc has also enlisted the help of guest societies including Gymnastics, Breakdancers, Salsa and Latin and Ballroom. To kick off each show, Gravity Vomit will be exploring the element of fire! It will truly be a spectacular event. This is a fantastic opportunity to see Bath’s talent at work, and enjoy the product of the immensely hard work of over 60 dancers, over weeks of rehearsals, all to a wide range of music and styles that provides something for everyone.

“

To kick off each show, Gravity Vomit will be exploring the element of fire!

”

Performances start at 7.30pm on the Thursday, Friday and Saturday, with an additional matinee performance at 2.30pm on the Saturday. Tickets go on sale from Monday 28th March outside the library at lunchtimes during the week, and will also be available from the ICIA office on the Parade for £7 and £5 for students.

bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Activities

Give it the heave-ho for D of E Matthew Bannister from Duke of Edinburgh talks to our Deputy Editor Hannah Raymont . about a rather strenuous fund-raising effort. Read on to find out more..

n the East Car Park on Sunday 10th April, D of E (the Duke of Edinburgh group) at the University of Bath will be pulling off an task almost as gargantuan as their planned Mount Kilimanjaro climb in June to raise vital funds for Help for Heroes, a charity that helps British soldiers wounded in current conflicts. The Kilimanjaro expedition, now fully booked, involves a group of 15 incredibly brave students who will attempt to reach the summit.this summer. First Group have kindly lent one of their buses and a driver for teams to pull 50 metres across the car park. The event is open to students, staff and non-students alike and, of course, the more the merrier. In order to enter, however, all teams must have an equal combined body weight of around 900 kilos to balance the competition between, say, a group of rugby players and several, generally more slender BodySoc dancers. The Duke of Edinburgh group currently has 25 members and is always looking for new, enthusiastic members to join. If you have previously been involved with the Duke of Edinburgh scheme, why not apply to be a leader? Duke of Edinburgh are still actively recruiting leaders to help out with their activities and along the way you’ll learn valuable skills, immensely boost your CV and have some memorable experiences to boot. The bus-pulling event is open to absolutely everyone and the teams could do with a lot of support from their fellow students and colleagues, whether that is by sponsoring them, cheering them on at the event, or both. Nothing like this has ever been organised at the university before so it really is a unique event. If you wish to actually take part in the competition, sign up on the Duke of Edinburgh page on bathstudent.com (bathstudent.com/volunteer/dofe/) here is a £10 deposit per person but as long as you raise more than this in your sponsorship, you can keep this deposit. If you’re not taking part, make a date in your diary and come along to watch. Duke of Edinburgh have also organised a pub quiz on bathimpact’s release date, 29th March, so be quick to check the details on bathstudent.com or contact Matthew on mb322@bath.ac.uk. An expedition to the Lake District on 6-11th June is also in the pipeline. Duke of Edinburgh meetings take place every Tuesday in 1WN 3.10 at 18.15, so come along if you’re interested in getting together with your mates and flexing those guns for charity. After all, it’s a better way to spend a spring-time Sunday than indoors with a textbook. More details on this fundraising event are also available at bathclothing.co.uk/events. Bath Clothing are a local company that supplies personalised T-shirts and other clothing to various University of Bath sports teams and societies.

Keep an eye out for Duke of Edinburgh’s beautified bus on the plasma screens in the Student Centre

Kilimanjaro: breathtaking, beautiful, majestic and pretty damn scary to climb, bathimpact’d wager

Prizes up for grabs Prize for most sponsorship money raised: VIP night for 4 in Second Bridge Prize for the fastest team: SCORE! tickets for Wednesday 13th April with free drink on entry.

Congratulations, yes, but we doubt that there’s a bar up here, and a cold beer would be nice at this point

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Activities

Get yourself SORTED! Enhance your CV and train to train other students with SORTED!

Becoming a SORTED Student Trainer is an ideal way to develop and enhance many of the key skills that are so important for personal and professional development. It's also a great way to boost your confidence, meet new people and have fun. SORTED will provide you with full training and the know-how to deliver peer training sessions in a professional and confident way. We are committed to investing in your development as a trainer, but don't worry it's not all work, there are plenty of social events throughout the year. We are currently recruiting our Student Trainer team for 2011-12. If you would like to find out more about the role and perhaps apply then visit:www.bathstudent.com/sorted/studenttrainer where you will find a job profile and application form. The deadline for applications is the 5th April. Short listed candidates will be called to interview after this date.

The journey to Paris... Naomi Mackrill tells bathimpact all about RAG’s legendary Paris Hitch

he RAG Paris Hitch has been a prominent feature in my three years at Bath. I made it to Paris in 13 hours and 45 minutes, as well as spending countless hours manning the phones to make sure everyone arrives safely. For those of you who know nothing about ‘the Hitch’ (as it’s affectionately known by Raggies), I shall give you a brief account of how I made it. The journey begins in the RAG office, in the SU corridor, with a sign out at a time of your choosing, although why I chose to get up to campus for about 7.20am I’ll never know. It is here that you are presented with your t-shirt and a final safety brief and then it’s off! The first challenge is getting back into Bath! No bus pass, no money, just your little legs to get you there. Some people blag a lift with a bus driver, others end up walking. We were one of those pairs who walked. I should add at this point that “we” is Adam and myself. Every pair of hitchers must include one male as protection from any crazy people you may encounter en route to Paris and I feel confident that Adam would have saved me from any crazy people had we met any, fortunately we only encountered the 99% of the population who are lovely! Right, back to the journey! By now we are wandering around lower Bristol road, heading towards London Road, waving our “Paris” sign hopefully, after what seems like forever a nice man on his way to a garden centre picks us up to offer us a lift to the motorway. 25 minutes of garden based small talk later and we are back on the side on the road again, this time in a lay-by with a car park and toilet just off the road, by the motorway roundabout. It’s at this point that we realise that almost every car that leaves Bath in this direction is heading to Bristol or Wales...completely the wrong direction. After a while the Bath City FC team coach appears to pick up all the players who’ve been dropping their cars off and after explaining what we’re doing we get offered a lift towards London on the team coach! I then proceeded to accidently refer to them as “Team Bath FC” which did not go down well, fortunately they didn’t throw us off the coach and I kept rather quiet for the rest of the journey! After being dropped at Clackett Lane services, the decision then needs to be made as to whether you stand at the car exit of the services, or the lorry driver exit. We chose the car peoples exit and were offered a lift by a Polish couple who took us all the way to Dover. From here, we managed to join another pair of hitchers in their lift onto the ferry and things looked to be going rather swimmingly. The other side I have seen the hitch from is being one of the friendly voices on the end of the phone, offering positive encouragement and suggestions to hitchers who aren’t having as much success. The one piece of advice I was instructed to give everyone was to not get off the ferry in Calais without a lift. Getting away from Calais without a car is similar to trying to get off the Moon without a rocket. This sound piece of advice was therefore all I could think about as we walked round and round the ferry, attempting some awful French to try to secure a lift. As we neared continental Europe we finally struck gold; a lovely lorry driver who would take us all the way to Paris. It sounds so simple looking back, yet it took 13 hours and 45 minutes until we stood under the Eifel Tower, the sense of achievement however still stands with me today! If this has tickled your fancy, there are still a few places left on this years so head down to the volunteer centre asap to secure your place!

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Chamber Choir concert

The Chamber Choir has a concert coming up! Saturday 2nd April in St Michael’s Church (Opposite Waitrose) is an evening not to be missed. The music is both unaccompanied and with organ accompaniment. There are many well known “classic” classical pieces to be enjoyed and alumni of the choir are joining the current choir for the final piece to top the evening off! Come along for £5 and expand your musical and cultural knowledge! Claudia Philips

World Food Programme

tudents from the Bath University Model United Nations Society are organising a fashion show and an art exhibition in the framework of the World Food Programme with the guest appearance of Matthew Mensah, founder of Catwalk the World, on 31st March in Elements. The World Food Programme is the food aid branch of the United Nations and the world’s largest humanitarian agency. It addresses hunger worldwide providing food to 90 million people per year on average. Among the poor, there is not enough food at home, and most schools in developing countries lack canteens or cafeterias. In addition, in countries where school attendance is low, the promise of at least one

nutritious meal each day boosts enrolment and promotes regular attendance. WFP’s school meal programmes work towards achieving several Millennium Development Goals. The aim of this event is to raise money for the UN WFP projects in Latin America responsible for providing children with hot meals but also to raise awareness around the importance of fighting hunger worldwide. For more information, please contact wfpfashion@gmail.com

Magical Chemistry Ball

or those who don’t know the Chemistry Ball is an annual event hosted by the Chemistry Society to welcome third year placement students back to Bath. As expected, many of the attendees found themselves in Parade prior to the event, enjoying a few jars at happy hour, getting loose before meal time. The fashionably late tactic was employed by many but this was no problem as the organisers had scheduled in this student trait into the program. More drinks were bought and drunk and then the food came out... alongside the food came the professional magician Alan Hudson. The man from the Magic Circle AMAZED everyone with his sleight of hand, leaving many students and lectures “absolutely bambooozled”. None more so than a young Nisha Denton who was kind enough to let Alan Hudson know; “your just like Derren Brown”.

“

Post-event results showed many had sore heads in the morning

”

So the food and wine on every table was gobbled down, so it turned to the evening’s entertainment. Next up was the disco funk band known as Bootie and the Hoe Fish. At this stage

in the evening all were in good spirits, notably merrier than the rest was placement student and Chemistry pinup-boy Darren Mohan, this diva was entertaining everyone with all with his moves and also enjoyed a good dance with Bootie’s lead singer. After the band, came Bath’s most prestigious D.J. and he certainly showed why can be found at Bridge, Weir and XL on the big nights. D.J. Ali Mehrkar span himself into the hearts of all with his beautiful Disk-Jockey skills!

Darren ‘Dirty Dancing’ Mohan and new best friend Laura (Bootie and the Ho Fish) Post-event results showed many had sore heads in the morning, however most were able to Curium their hangover symptoms with a good lie in. Thanks to all that came! Get onto the Facebook “Chem.Soc.” group to find out about the future events! Conrad Landridge

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Sport

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Six Nations ends on a flat note

After England just missed out on the Grand Slam last weekend, Jack Penrose reviews this year’s championship

couple of months ago I wrote an article labelling the Six Nations “the best rugby tournament in the world.” Unfortunately, the 2011 edition was a bit of a letdown. An opening weekend of explosive and entertaining rugby was then followed by weekends of dull, innocuous slugfests, with the odd exception. In the end, England were the best of a bad bunch of Europe’s rugby teams, and were crowned champions for the first time in eight years. However, there was neither a Grand Slam nor a Triple Crown for the English, which counts for a lot more than you would think. England had a good championship, and to win it for the first time in eight years is impressive, but they still look very beatable, and proved that they are still young and inexperienced. The loss of the Grand Slam and Triple Crown is critical, as this was their best chance for many years. France had a torrid championship; they didn’t really play very well, but still got results. Their solid showings at either end of the tournament were undone by the embarrassing losses to England and Italy. In the end, you never know which French team will turn up, but second place certainly flatters them. Ireland chose to play very well in one game only. They showed that they are capable of beating England

So near, yet so far: England’s Grand Slam hopes were shot down by a rampant Ireland side at the Aviva Stadium in Dublin. when they want to, and fair play to them. I just wish they had bothered turning up against everybody else! A mixed experience for Ireland, but they showed their capability, experience and tenacity only in flashes. Wales flattered to deceive, and frustratingly gained results despite poor performances. There is a good team there waiting to happen, but at least they gained some good results

(even if the referee helped them a bit), but they showed that they can lose concentration and passion when presented with a big challenge. Not a bad tournament, but they are capable of better. Scotland were very inconsistent, they showed plenty of adventure and character against the French and the English, but fell apart completely against Wales and really struggled

Only two playoff spots left in IDFC Joe Dibben bathimpact Sports Editor sport@bathimpact.com

»»Group A

fter MoLES, BUMS and Economics secured qualification a couple of weeks ago, the focus in Group A has been on who will take the fourth and final playoff spot. Current incumbents of that position, Management, haven’t been in action in the last two weeks but have crucially managed to cling on to fourth after their closest rivals faltered. Chemical Engineering, who were three points behind Management with a game in hand, have seen their chances of qualification evaporate after a 5-4 defeat against Sports Science and a 4-1 mauling at the hands of MoLES put an end to their season. After that win, Sports Science needed to beat Architecture last Wednesday to keep their hopes of a playoff place alive, but a 2-1 defeat puts them out of the competition. The win for Architecture means that they finish the season in fifth, while Natural Sciences managed to pick up sixth. All of that means that Manage-

ment can go into their last group game next Wednesday in the knowledge that their quarter-final place is guaranteed. A win for BUMS would see themthem pip MoLES at the post to become group winners, after MoLES shared the spoils with Economics in a 1-1 draw.

»»Group B

A 3-1 win for Biology in a crunch game against Team Maths saw them seal qualification for the playoffs, but it looks like Mechanical Engineering will end up topping Group B after destroying Computer Sciences 8-0, giving themselves a goal difference that will be more or less impossible to overhaul. A win against Pharmacy in their final game should wrap things up nicely. The key fixture in the last set of group games on Wednesday sees Team Maths take on Coach Education, who know that only a win will do if they are to have any hope of progressing following their 2-0 defeat against Chemistry in Group B’s pivotal clash last week. Following that vital victory, Chemistry are all but certain to qualify for the quarter-finals, and just need to beat

Computer Sciences in their final game to make sure of sealing their berth in the last eight.

»»Playoffs

Possible quarter-finals (games to be played on April 6th): (QF 1) MoLES/BUMS (1st Group A) v Team Maths/Chemistry/Education (4th Group B) (QF 2) MoLES/Economics (2nd in A) v Team Maths/Chemistry/Education (3rd in B) (QF 3) BUMS/Economics (3rd in A) v Mechanical Engineering/Biology (2nd in B) (QF 4) Management (4th in A) v Mechanical Engineering/Biology (1st in B) Semi-finals, to be played on April 13th- QF 1 v QF 3, QF 2 v QF 4. Final at the STV main pitch on April 20th.

to score tries throughout the tournament. They need consistency; because they would have grinded out better results had they shown half the fight they did against England. Italy were the surprise package, considering they were handed one of the heaviest defeats in their history and then beat the French in the same championship shows just how far they have come. There are no easy

games against the Italians any more, and a bit more luck could have seen them win three games. They still hold the Wooden Spoon though. All in all, a good win for England, but a dull tournament for the purists. The Southern Hemisphere giants will be licking their lips for the Rugby World Cup unless the European teams really up their game. There’s plenty of work to do yet.

Group A

W D

GF GA

Pts

MoLES (Q)

Economics (Q)

BUMS (Q)

Management (Q) 7

Architecture

Nat. Sciences

Sports Science

Chem. Eng.

Physics

Group B

W D

Pts

Mech. Eng. (Q)

Biology (Q)

Team Maths

Chemistry

Coach. Ed.

Pharmacy

Comp. Sci.

Elec. Eng.

RESULTS (16/3/2011): Group A- Sports Science 5, Chemical Engineering 4. Natural Sciences 1, Architecture 1. BUMS 3, Physics 0. Economics 1, MoLES 1. Group B- Biology 3, Team Maths 1. Electrical Engineering 2, Pharmacy 3. (23/3/2011) Group A- MoLES 4, Chemical Engineering 1. Physics 1, Economics 3. Architecture 2, Sports Science 1. Group B- Comp. Sciences 0, Mechanical Engineering 8. Coach Education 0, Chemistry 2. FIXTURES (30/3/2011): Group A- BUMS v Management. Group B- Coach Education v Team Maths, Electrical Engineering v Biology, Mechanical Engineering v Pharmacy, Chemistry v Computer Sciences.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Sport

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or any uni sports club with championship-style BUCS events, the BUCS weekend is always the biggest and most anticipated one of the year. The 2011 Mountain Bike Champs was no exception; with 25 members of the cycling club travelling to Moelfre, mid-Wales, for a weekend of racing, and after last year’s podium domination the pressure was most definitely on. Traditionally, for mountain bikers, BUCS involves camping in early March in a muddy, student-infested field somewhere near a mountain. To avoid the cold, wet, mud and dubstep we booked ourselves some plush accommodation in a giant farmhouse, complete with hot tub and Aga. If you are going to go medal chasing then you’d better do it properly, right? BUCS Mountain Bike is the only remaining MTB event where downhillers and cross country racers get to race at the same venue on the same weekend. This legendary combination means not only do these two very different disciplines within our club get to enjoy the same event but we also get to heckle each other; something we take almost as seriously as the racing. Saturday was race day for the downhillers. The start list of 380 racers get set off at 30 second intervals and are timed as they plummet to the bottom of the hill. Only the fastest 200 qualified for a second race run. Six of the nine Bath downhillers qualified for this final run - the business end of the event. With a substantially changed line up from our downhill gold rush last year it was up to BUCS veteran, Tom Evans, to lead the way. A personal best finish in 14th place was

pretty darn respectable given the quality and size of the field. It looked like we might have a shot at a team medal for the fastest three riders until several crashes and a DNF dashed our hopes of retaining the title again against the rocks quite literally. Sunday brought the XC race and with it 380 hungover Downhillers, armed with megaphones and waterbombs. Tradition has it that these guys alleviate their hangovers by screaming at the lycra-clad sufferfest. The BUCS course is always super hilly because the DH is held at the same venue. This year was no exception, with the course climbing several miles up a fire-road (which makes Bathwick look fun) followed by a steep and dangerous descent straight down from the top. Part way down a series of slippery and off camber turns are now infamously named “Carnage Corner” thanks to this piece of Vimeo dynamite (http:// vimeo.com/21034147). I can assure you that it is well worth a coffee break… The XC event has two races, “Sport” and “Champs”. The Sport event, for the not-so-serious riders, started in the morning with three laps of the course for the men– to give you an idea this is about five times up a gravel-strewn Bathwick I’d say. Most, if not all, had to push up at least a part of the climb. The ride down though was definitely the best bit: challenging, fun and frightening in equal measures. In the sport race, our top three riders managed to achieve fast enough times to earn bronze in the team event although there were no individual medals on this occasion. The highly anticipated and hotly contested Champs race started in the afternoon. The Bath team was at least as strong as last year’s so we were looking for a big medal-haul, both individ-

Trevor Allen, John Whittington and Liam Glen took gold for Bath in the team event.

ually and as a team. For the past few years it has been a battle between Bath, Leeds and Loughborough for the team medals, and this year was no different. Our top seed and World Cup racer John Whittington opened an early lead and posted the fastest lap of the weekend straight from the gun. Unfortunately this was short lived as the world’s lightest man from Leeds put in some serious hurt on the climb second time round. Carnage Corner was still firing, making spectating exciting and also blowing the race to pieces as you never knew who would be in a pile of blood and mud next time you came down. Chairman Trevor Allen rode a solid race to take 14th, pretty good for a flatlander. The ride of the day though went to second year Liam Glen who, in spite of a helmet splitting (literally) crash, worked his way up the field from around 60th place off the grid to a very impressive Bronze medal podium finish. Just a minute or so earlier John had crossed the line to take silver, losing his dog-fight with the Leeds whip-

John Ridely

Success for Bath cyclists at BUCS Donald Fraser bathimpact Reporter

Jacob Long in action in the downhill event. pet. A job well done. Celebrating two Bath podium finishes, it was inevitable that Bath would also take the Team Gold. True to form we edged Leeds into second place by just over three minutes; pretty close considering over four hours combined racing time. That’s the second year on the trot and proof beyond all doubt of the quality of the cycling club. So yet again more medals than you can shake a stick at but most impor-

tantly everyone had a great time; from seasoned racers to first timers. With next year’s £100 sports fee not affecting the cycling club you might be wise to dust down your bike this summer and coming out for a ride next year. Those interested in learning more about the University of Bath’s Cycling Club are encouraged to check www.bathunimtb. com or subscribe to the club’s Twitter feed (@BATHuniCC).

peat their performance from last year’s event where they ran out victors against Loughborough in front of a capacity home crowd. Tickets for the kickboxing show on Friday 1 April are £5 and are available from Plug Bar and STV reception now! Doors open at 6.30pm with the first fight commencing at 7:15pm. Money

raised at the event will go to the charities, Help for Heroes and Families of the Fallen. For more details find the event on Facebook – Bath Uni FIGHT NIGHT 2011. The kickboxing club is open to all students regardless of ability and gender so check out the kickboxing homepage on bathstudent.com.

Fight Night! Colin Rhodes bathimpact Reporter

ath University kickboxers are putting in their final training ahead of FIGHT NIGHT 2011 which will see them square up against one of their closest and fiercest rivals, UWE. In a bold statement to attempt to be crowned varsity champions once again, kickboxers from Bath have laid down the gauntlet and challenged UWE to step into the ring. The night of University Kickboxing, which is also known as “FIGHT NIGHT” is being held for the third consecutive year with this year’s event being held at the Sports Training Village on Friday 1 April 2011. Bath Kickboxing Chairman Peter Hachfeld, who successfully represented Bath at last year’s FIGHT NIGHT, said the event offers experienced kickboxers the opportunity to push themselves to the limit and others the chance to compete for the first time: “FIGHT NIGHT” has been building for a long time and everyone on campus has been eager to hear the announcement of when the event will take place. I know the club can’t wait to step into the ring and do Bath proud. “Everyone at the club has trained long and hard for this competition and will be throwing their whole weight behind beating one of our closest rivals UWE. It would be great to see as many supporters at the event as possible to get behind their university and spur the team towards victory.” The Bath club hope they can re-

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Sport

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Bath basketballers triumph in final game »»University of Winchester 17-55 University of Bath Becky Stevens bathimpact Reporter

n the final game of the season, the women’s basketball team pulled together and put on a fantastic display to end on a high, beating Winchester away. The first quarter saw Bath starting slowly, having a lot of shooting opportunities but unfortunately not making them count. However Bath’s defence stayed strong, keeping out their tall Number 13 and allowing us to edge ahead to a 9-3 lead by the end of the quarter. After a pep talk from coach Tom Janicot, Bath went back onto the court filled with confidence, a quality lacking in our previous game, and we stepped up our game. Hebah Bibi was quick to take advantage of their slowness to return to their defensive position and scored several fast-break lay-ups. However, Bath couldn’t afford to relax on defence as their Number 13 was still threatening the key at every opportunity and their fast, little Number 12 was only too happy to sprint in if any gaps appeared. But the team held strong and communicated well to neutralise these threats as fast as possible. Bath continued to build their lead so when the buzzer sounded for half-time the score read a well-deserved 23-7 to the visitors. Bath didn’t become complacent though despite their advantage, and the high intensity continued

The Bath team that recorded a crushing 55-17 victory over the University of Winchester in their last game of the season. throughout the third quarter. This saw Bath’s lead further extended without reply from Winchester and enabled them to move into a full court press with only a minute left on the clock. The intense pressure put on the opposition was intended to force mistakes and this tactic clearly worked with Win-

chesters number 14 attempting to shoot in her own basket. In the final quarter, Bath really stretched our legs, fought for every ball and continued attacking their basket. Dani Huamán ran hard and produced an outstanding shot from an almost impossible position which left the opposi-

tion speechless. Their hard work was rewarded when the clock hit zero and the score read 55-17 to Bath, with Winchester only scoring one basket in the final quarter. Captain Becky Stevens top-scored with 16 points and Claire Hughes picked up 11. A huge thank you must be given

to coach Tom Janicot for the time and effort, he’s put in to helping the team this year. The team has greatly improved thanks to his wonderful coaching and support. So thanks very much TomTom for a great year and we’re looking forward to an even better season next year.

COMPETITION: Win tickets for London Sevens!

athimpact has teamed up with the RFU to offer one lucky reader a pair of tickets to the Emirates Airline London Sevens extravaganza at Twickenham Stadium on the weekend of 21nd and 22rd May. Last year’s event saw almost 80,000 fans flood through the gates over a sun-drenched two days, and organisers are aiming to break the 100,000 barrier for the beach-themed 2011 event. Sun, sand and Sevens will be the name of the game and fans are urged to dig out the flip-flops and sombreros and enjoy the weekend in style. On the pitch, 16 international teams including England, South Africa, New Zealand, Fiji, Argentina, Australia, France, Canada, USA and Wales will be part of a feast of high-octane rugby as they fight it out for points in the HSBC

Sevens World Series, a competition that pits the finest national sevens sides on the planet against each other across eight different tournaments. Come along to experience the flowing rugby and party atmosphere as the world’s top nations contest the most action-packed rugby event on the calendar.

To enter simply answer the following question: Which team won the 2010 Emirates Airline London Sevens Cup competition?

year of study. The competition closes at 5pm on Friday 1st April and is only open to University of Bath students aged over 18. Don’t worry if you’re not successful - Tickets are available from just £15 for adults and £10 for juniors from www.rfu.com/londonsevens or by calling 0844 847 2492. To find out more about the tournament and to get behind the England team check out www.facebook.com/LondonSevens Terms and conditions apply, full details of the RFU’s ticket and competitions terms and conditions are available from rfu.com/tickets.

a) Australia b) South Africa c) England To enter, simply email jcd22@ bath.ac.uk with the correct answer, your name, your course and your

Enter and win tickets for the Emirates Airline London Sevens!

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bathimpact

Sport

Claire Ackerman

www.bathimpact.com

Your newly-elected Sabb team celebrate after finding out the electoral results last Friday.

Clements wins VP Rugby Women’s Sport election continued from page 28 ...power. I will make firm demands on improvements. I will also help support your clubs in finding alternative facilities and negotiate student deals with off campus alternatives.” Clements ran a very lively electoral campaign, which even included a publicity stunt where the inititals of Jon Garner-Richardson, his rival, were shaved into the back of his head, as well as a flash mob on the parade.

Bath’s shooters aim high

1sts best in Bath!

The University of Bath Rugby Womens 1sts won their 15th game out of 15 so far this season when they beat Aberystwyth University 1sts 42-5 last week, meaning that they keep the best record of any team at the University in 2010/11. They aren’t the only ones with a 100% record though- the Men’s Badminton 3rds have won 13 out of 13 games this season. Special mention should also go to the Netball 1sts and 3rds, Badminton Women’s 1sts and the Rugby Union Men’s 4ths, who have all only lost one game so far this year too. Congratulations from impactsport!

TB Futsal win BANES award

This academic year has been a very positive one for the University of Bath Shooting Club, pictured here at the BUCS Championships. Michael Patrick bathimpact Reporter

o this day, no one can remember exactly what happened inside the University of Bath minibus, between 6pm and 10pm on Friday 25th February 2011. That it set off from University, packed with members of the Bath University Shooting Club, is known. That it arrived four hours later at Shrewsbury Battlefield Lodge, with the driver, Club Chair James McGarley, looking about 10 years older than normal, is well documented. But the intervening time, driven out of collective memory, looks set to fade into Club myth, much like the legendary shooting skills of former Chair, Lisa Thomas, and the quality-challenged condoms (don’t ask) of former Captain, Eddy Hirst. The 2011 BUCS Shooting Championships had begun! Having arrived at the hotel, many of the freshers, to the great amusement of everyone else, instantly set off for the conveniently

situated pub next door. Of course, one might legitimately wonder (as many of the sober and amused club members did!) if it is really sensible to drink yourself silly the night before a major competition, especially when the said competition involves the handling of objects which eject material at over 400 mph! Nevertheless, by morning a universal state of cold sobriety had thankfully returned, and all coped with the horrendous wake-up time of 6:30 AM with remarkable ease and efficiency! The Bath Shooting Club has traditionally performed extremely well in BUCS, and as the team defrosted themselves in the warm lodge of the West Midlands Shooting Ground, all were determined that this year would be no exception. Morale was raised further by the return of three distinguished former members: Lisa Thomas, Sean Russell and Sarah Bell, all of whom had previously graduated from Bath, but had returned as graduate shooters, eager to share in the warm camaraderie of their

old team. Shooting commenced at 9am and, as in previous years, each member over the course of the day shot at 100 clay pigeons to obtain a simple score out of 100. The results were customarily spectacular. Topping the leaderboard were James Garlick and newcomer to the club, Richard Hartz, both with spectacular scores of 81. Hot on their heels were Captain Daniel Stephens with 80 and another newcomer Bert Jones with 77. With these scores, the men’s team achieved a strong and well deserved third place. Furthermore the indestructible Lisa Thomas added yet another gold medal to her extensive collection, with a score of 78 earning her first place in the female graduate category. Of course, BUCS wouldn’t be BUCS without endless minibus drama, and this year was no exception as said vehicle proceeded to get stuck in the muddy field that was doubling as the car park. Fortunately, help was on hand in the form of Treasurer James Turner’s

trusty Shogun! This has been a more challenging year than most for the club, with the loss of many experienced shooters the previous summer. The fact that the men nevertheless picked up bronze medals is a testament to the hard work and talents of the younger shooters. Special mention in particular must go to Shotgun Captain, Daniel Stephens. Now in his final year at university, it is Dan more than anyone else who has made the club what it is today. When he first joined, the club only had a tiny handful of active members – whereas this year we were able to take nearly 30 to BUCS. Previously we would struggle to field even a single lady’s team – this year we were easily able to field two! So we say goodbye to Dan, but we look forward to building on his legacy in future years, by ensuring that we continue to build up the club to be a friendly, thriving community that is open and welcoming to all people of all abilities.

Team Bath Futsal Club have received Bath and North East Somerset (BANES) Council’s ‘Sports Club of the Year’ award . Head Coach Sion Kitson and Club Chairman (and bathimpact Sports Ed) Joe Dibben attended the annual Sports Awards ceremony at Bath’s Guildhall, and the club was recognised ahead of some very high quality nominations to pick up the award. Since its auguration in 2008, when there was only one mens team, the club has taken massive strides. There are now three mens’ teams, a womens’ team and comprehensive youth setup, which is supported by a network of qualified coaches from throughout the club.

Mavericks defeat Bath at the STV Leading side in the Fiat Netball Superleague, Hertfordshire Mavericks, inflicted a 52-42 defeat on reigning champions Team Bath at the STV. The contest, played out in front of another bumper crowd of around 940 fans, was a rematch of last season’s final - but the losing side then came out on top this time. Bath’s top scorers were Pamela Cookey, who scored 22 from 24 shots, and Asha Tett, who scored 20 points from 27 shots.

impactsport

Win tickets to the Emirates Airline London Sevens at Twickenham! Competition, p26 Tuesday 29th March 2011

International tennis stars shine at ATP Challenger event at the STV Joe Dibben bathimpact Sport Editor sport@bathimpact.com he University of Bath’s Sports Training Village hosted its first ever ATP Challenger event from 19th March until 26th March, sponsored by AEGON. At the time of writing, both the men’s and women’s singles competitions have reached their finale. The men’s competition has been a lively affair so far, and the final pitches German sixth seed Andreas Beck against Russian third seed Dmitri Tursunov, an all-time first meeting between the duo.

The women’s competition on the other hand sees Polish qualifier Marta Domachowska take on Switzerland’s Stefanie Voegele. Andreas Beck also features in the men’s doubles final in tandem with Yves Allegro of Switzerland, where they are facing British Davis Cup player Jamie Delgado and Jonathan Marray. The women’s doubles competition meanwhile was won by Hungary’s Timea Babos and Luxembourg’s Anne Kremer (left), beating Poles Marta Domachowska and Katarzyna Piter in straight sets in the final.

Inside impactsport BUCS success for Bath athletes The University of Bath has had plenty of recent success to shout about, with the university’s cycling and shooting excelling in their recent respective BUCS Championships. See page 25 to read about the cycling and page 27 for the shooting

IDFC reaches business end There are only two qualifying spots left for the playoffs in the IDFC after a frenetic period of action in the last two weeks. MoLES, Econonmics, BUMS, Management, Mechanical Engineering and Biology are all guaranteed a spot in the last eight.

Clements comfortably wins VP Sport election C

hris ‘Clemmo’ Clements has been elected by Bath students to become the Student s’Union’s new Vice President Sport for the next academic year, following a landslide victory in the recent Sabbatical Elections. Clements was able to triumph over his three rivals for the position - Chris Jones, Hannah Gavin and Jon ‘JGR’ Garner-Richardson - through gaining a majority of votes in only the first round of counting. He will be taking over from incumbent Andy Crawshaw in June. Chris said of his victory: “This week has shown me that there are so many more problems then I originally thought, not just within sport but regarding the Students’ Union as a whole but I’m confident the new sabbatical team can put them right.” He then added that “the hard work starts now.” In his campaign manifesto Clements stated that “the next year is an

important one for sport at Bath. Your VP Sport should be able to take the reins from day one. This year I am Chairman of the Sports Association Executive Committee and Captain of the Rowing Club – both of these positions have provided me with a great breadth of experience. I have thoroughly enjoyed my university sporting career and very much look forward to helping ensure students following me can do so too.” The election for VP Sport was a real flashpoint in the Sabb Elections this year, and had the most candidates for any of the positions available. It has been a somewhat turbulent year for sport at the university, and this was reflected in the vivacity of all four candidates’ campaigns. Chris told bathimpact “I do feel very bad for the others, especially Jon who worked so hard this week. He deserved more than he got and it’s a shame we were running against each other.” Top of Clements’ list of manifesto pledges is to “fight for you on student fees”. “I am already actively campaigning

against the £100 fee and I will continue to oppose it. If introduced, the way in which the fee is handled will be crucial for the future of sport at Bath. The

Sports Department needs it to be a success and this puts us, the students, in a position of... continued on page 27 Claire Ackerman

Joe Dibben bathimpact Sport Editor sport@bathimpact.com

See page 24 for all the latest results, fixtures and tables

Chris ‘Clemmo’ Clements: your newly-elected VP Sport

Your sports comments In this week’s comment section, Jack Penrose rounds up what has been a largely entertaining Six Nations competition, despite England missing out on the Grand Slam. Go to page 24 and see what you think

impactsport needs you! Do you want to write a match report for your team? Do you have something to say about sport at our university? Interested in sports journalism, design or photography? Or even just passionate about sport in general? Get in touch! impactsport wants to hear from people like you! Contact the bathimpact Sports Editor (jcd22@ bath.ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get yourself involved and get your team, your views, your designs or your photography seen.

this could be any t larch the contents hing at all, it could nâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter less if I tried God I have no of should be better good ideas, this is look at this bs mag azine what the hell am I trying to do? jesus are top hates queers. Yes I am secret provocative.

bite

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Can you keep a secret?

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Editor Gina Reay editor@bathimpact.com Deputy Editor Hannah Raymont deputy@bathimpact.com

bite Editors Caroline Leach features@bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie ents@bathimpact.com Publicity Officer Julia Lipowiecka publicity@bathimpact.com Chief Sub-Editor Sam Foxman subeditor@bathimpact.com Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151

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EDITORIAL Welcome to the seventh issue of bite. This fortnight we’re going confession crazy and asking you, can you keep a secret? Our lead article looks at urban legends. How have these stories become such a big part of our society, and what makes us believe in them, still? Over on the more arty side of things we bring you the confessions of a geek, an exposé of adult trash fiction and an investigation into why cliffhangers aren’t always such a good idea. And of course we’ve got all your usuals, Never Have I Ever, AV Positive, puzzles and, if you need some cultural activities for the month ahead, go straight to The Guide on page 11. If you like what you see or fancy writing for us yourself then please get in touch; either by using the email addresses on the left or by coming along to one of our contributors’ meetings which take place fortnightly. Search for bathimpact on Facebook or Twitter for more information.

Printed by Harmsworth Press Ltd.

Contents Features Sshhh! What was that?! Pages 2 & 3 Foxy knows... Election Spy Page 3 Keeping a secret is so passé... Page 4 Never have I ever.... had an inappropriate sex dream. Page 5 AV positive: adventures of a placement student. Page 7

Food How to impress the most important woman in your life. Page 8 Cakey Katie: Plum and almond tart. Page 9

The Guide Upcoming gigs, comedy, films and exhibitions near you.Page 11

Fashion Bath Style - Our photographer asks tough questions to nameless faces. Pages 12 & 13 Beauty secrets that are best left alone. Page 12

Music Celebrity and music. Is there any way to separate the two? Page 14 & 15 Rumours and lies in the big bad music industry. Page 16

Videogames The secret confession of an enormous geek. Page 17

Film Hang on filmmakers, cliffhangers aren’t always a good idea. Page 18

Literature The not so secret shame of adult trash fiction. Page 19

Puzzles Crossword, sudokus, brainteasers and cartoons. Page 20

Sshhh! what Written by Steffanie Ransom

nd no one lived to tell the tale. If you’ve heard this classic parting line, then you’ve most likely just heard an urban legend. ‘But, what is an urban legend?’ I hear you eagerly cry out. Well, prepare to be educated, you lucky things. 1) Wait for nightfall. 2) Make sure you’re alone. 3) Go to Youtube. 4) Type in ‘urban myths’ followed by ‘humans can lick too’, ‘Bloody Mary’ or my personal favourite, ‘the clown statue’. 5) Watch. If you’re anything like me, any one of those videos will have you quivering under your duvet regressing to the ‘if-I-can’t-see-it-it-won’t-see-me’ mentality. Some of these stories you might have heard of before, others may be scaring the pancreas out of you for the very first time and some might be slight variations on stories you’ve heard before, but they’ve all got something in common: they are urban myths. Now before you go saying something witty like ‘Urban? But we’re in Bath...’, you should know that ‘urban’ is used to describe contemporary folklore, stories we’ve all heard of but the origins of which are a complete mystery. Now, if you did watch the videos as suggested – yes, it’s homework time – the logical, rational side of yourself is pointing out that these legends are bogus... and yet there’s something strangely compelling about them, don’t you think? Much like the ever popular alligators-in-the-sewers urban legend, it’s just about expelling absolute doubt, which for some crazy reason is easier to say than do. Who amongst us hasn’t told a scary story or two in our time? And who among us can honestly say they’ve never double checked under the bed as a result? Now maybe I’ve been spending too many procrastination hours watching re-runs of Supernatural, but, after my fifth consecutive episode, I’ve come to realise that urban legends don’t hold their power in cinematography or creepy ‘yes-there’s-something-roundthe-corner-you-idiot’ music; urban legends are powerful and timeless because there’s no way to prove they’re definitely fake. I’m not suggesting it’s entirely possible that a girl who died in a bathroom half way round the world can be summoned to kill you through a bathroom mirror by reciting her name three times, but what I am saying is that even if you have the smallest most insignificant (and yet clearly significant) doubt about it, would you want to risk it? Just the fact I have thought about this seriously highlights my next point: why on earth have I considered it? What makes people pass on the stories? Is there a reason why an interest in the supernatural continues in art, history, literature when shows such as MythBusters (or, you know, common sense and the cold light of day) have categorically explained pretty much every urban tale? Well, as always, science is tackling this problem head on. There is even a specialised area in psychology which deals with the human fascination of the paranormal, aptly named ‘parapsychology’. Parapsychology, although not widely acknowledged, seeks to explain ghost sightings, haunted houses, alien abductions and all manner of other things as due to the brain. For those sceptics among you who may label parapsychology as having about as much credibility as Freud’s theories, firstly, read up – it’s not all phallic symbols and Oedipus complexes – and secondly, I’ll have you know that the latest edition of New Scientist features just this very topic. Seemingly the hottest hypothesis out there to date is Justin Barrett’s at the University of Oxford (so it’s gotta be good, right?) who dreamt up a ‘hyperactive agency detection device’, which brings us back to the ever useful – and predictable – Darwinian survival ideals. Barrett claims we use agency to detect stimuli from our environment and decide whether it is threatening or not, and ghost sightings occur when this device goes into overdrive, which causes us to see things that aren’t really there. Ooo, spooky. And, just like the whizz of a wiz there was in Oz, it becomes all the less impressive when you can see behind the curtain. So, to adopt the ‘ignorance is bliss’ mentality once more (I really don’t recommend this for exam revision), I choose to reject Barrett (no disrespect). I enjoy believing that there are things that go bump in the night – not in that way you sex-obsessed maniacs – and that there is good and evil out there battling it out, the dichotomy that came so easily to us as children shouldn’t be so quickly forgotten in adulthood. You really shouldn’t take my side just because of my excellent skills of rhetoric, however; of course the scientific explanation is going to be attractive for all you logically -minded people out there. But, in my mind, urban legends exist for a reason and their ability to remain alive and well in whatever form they take only adds to my point that if it’s all just in the brain, then why are people seeing the same things? According to The Telegraph, there have been almost 1,000 ghost sightings in Britain alone in the last 25 years; of course, this can be argued as being due to a population-increase, media attention and encouragement and a whole host of other things, but if looked into, all of these reports will probably have similar patterns: body shapes, faces that disappear into thin air, the feeling that someone is in the room with you. All I know is that if, according to this article, there have been 51 sightings in Somerset, we here at the University of Bath

bite-bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

was that?! can take comfort in the knowledge that if you’ve seen something unusual in the area – bar our friend the Jamaican busker – you’re probably not alone. Twice a coincidence, three times... And sadly, with the advance of technology, reports of ‘ghosts in the machine’ are becoming ever more frequent. Ghost stories in the form of chain mail just keep circulating, and on the off chance you don’t get a virus from the nasty things, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that the Smith Sisters could theoretically be your dead older sisters your parents never mentioned who have now come back to wreak revenge if you don’t post the message on to your 30 closest friends in the next hour should be a lot easier than it is. But we shrug, and either boldly delete it, tempting the technological gods of fate, or in going with the ‘just-in-case’ approach, doom our Facebook friends to a similar fate of having to choose for themselves, and really, how bad would you feel if you escaped a vengeful spirit but your buddy, Steve, didn’t? He’s an arsehole anyway. But I digress. Whether you semi-believe (because no one’s actually going to admit utter and devoted belief at this stage, are they?) that despite it all there are alligators in the sewer, or a hand-licking-dog-psycho under your bed, or a very disturbing clown statue with its own agenda in the corner of your room, or whether you are completely convinced that I am nuts and ranting to my fellow nut, all I can say to you is, if you can believe that urban legends could even very remotely be true, then why risk it? So seriously, what do you think: Urban legends, cautionary tales or hoaxes?

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Foxy knows... Election Spy Written by Sam Foxman

know a thing or two about keeping secrets. These elections are all about keeping secrets. Don’t tell the candidates that you more or less know who has won before it’s started. Don’t tell the people who run it that if only 25 per cent of people vote then any result is basically bullshit anyway. Don’t tell the voters that they’re idiots if they vote for people who do stupid stunts or whose names happen to have scraped past their ears on some grotesque night out. And most of all, don’t tell anyone who Election Spy is. But the results are in. The votes have been counted and verified. Everything is fair game now. So I know who the Election Spy is. I’ve been keeping my ear close to the ground and Election Spy’s a good mate of mine, probably. There has been a lot of speculation, one way or the other, about the identity of this shady, dangerous individual. The work that the Spy does is so dangerous and so important, I suppose, that to reveal his or her identity while the work is ongoing would be tremendously risky. It’s safe now to let all of you in on the secret. It isn’t easy to keep a secret like this for so long. I’m pretty good at lying. You can choose to believe that or not. Either way you’re likely to find yourself trapped in a paradox. Despite being brilliant at lying this secret has been weighing down for such a long time. The most weighty part of this secret is that people know that I know – or think that they know that I know – which means that they ask me. This would be fine if I didn’t know that I knew, but I do know that I know. I think I know that I know, anyway. So I’m going to give you a quick insight into how to keep a secret. The first and most important thing in keeping a secret is that you have one in the first place. If you don’t have a secret to keep then you’ll find it remarkably difficult to keep one. So, first things first, if you don’t have a secret, get one. You can do this in myriad ways. I would advise starting off by doing something disgraceful that no one else can see. That ought to be enough to get the secret keeping ball rolling. The second phase, and this is almost certainly the key, is not to tell anyone. Ever. Sometimes you might be tempted and you might tell people that you will tell them, but you should never actually tell anyone any secrets. In fact, better not to tell anyone anything at all. Chances are it’s either boring or too important to share. The third step is to have a long load of information which is essentially meaningless that you can fire out at anyone who wants to know what your secret is about. By unleashing a torrent of essentially meaningless waffle you can protect any secret you might otherwise be inclined to reveal. That was definitely the point of this article.

Flickr

Alligators in the sewers of New York is an urban myth which refuses to go away

Are these white blurs pictures of ghosts or just a problem with the film?

Who is this guy? Read the article above to find out!

Tuesday 29th March 2011

bite-bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

Keeping a secret is so passé... Written by Steffanie Ransom

here was once a time when asking your friend to keep a secret was the true test of friendship and keeping a secret of your own was often as heavy a burden as having to be the one to tell your mate that he was chatting up a girl with toilet paper stuck to his shoe the whole time. The best part about secrets is that everyone has them, everyone walks around hoping that others won’t notice that they still suck their thumb when no one’s looking, or that they’ve been Facebook stalking the hottie from lectures for weeks now, or, more embarrassingly, that passport-size photo of Bieber they’re carrying in their wallet (You should really be more careful when you’re paying at Fresh). Indeed, secrets can be frustrating to keep, and most would give anything not to be exposed as our less-than-human selves, so one must wonder, despite it all, why is the popularity of sites such as PostSecret increasing? For those who have lived under a technologically deprived rock, PostSecret is a website dedicated to the posting of artistically decorated postcards from ‘all over the world’ (America) sent to the webmaster, Frank. The only difference between this and the million other artistically inclined blogs roaming the interwebs, is that these postcards hold something that people seem increasingly prone to give away: secrets. So what, may I ask, propels people to send anonymous postcards with their innermost secrets scribbled on them for the whole wide world to see? And also, who are these losers reading them? Well, I’m one of them. I wake up on a Sunday, and my im-

mediate thought after ‘Oh god... what happened last night?’ is ‘Ooo, new PostSecret blog!’ And I immediately click the tab on my prestigious ‘Favourites’ column – yes, it’s that good – and I find myself reading a dozen new secrets from strangers I’ve never met. And it seems I’m not alone, with 941,572 people ‘liking’ its Facebook page, and 421,889,180 visitors to the site itself, it seems a fascination with strangers’ deepest secrets is far-reaching. What’s more, you can actually buy books with an accumulation of secrets, my favourite title being ‘PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives’, although how the admission that you pee in the shower is ‘extraordinary’ I’m not quite sure, but hey, I guess no one would buy the book if it was called ‘PostSecret: Stuff you’d rather not hear from your housemate’. The amount of effort we put in to making sure our friends never find out something about ourselves is something everyone can relate to at one point in our lives, and yet, when we can hide behind a screen and are protected by the knowledge that it can’t be traced back to us (pending Big Brother), writing out our secrets is a cathartic way to relieve the burden, lighten the weight off our shoulders, and maybe, just maybe, let someone else out there know they are not alone. Perhaps in sharing what makes us human, it reminds us that no one is invincible, and no one has to be. PostSecret has had many people writing in to comment that thanks to some of the secrets people have shared, their lives have become a little less lonely; the secrets which are at times funny, or sad, or painful, or hopeful, or the ones

that are just downright stupid, actually help people. And they say the internet is so impersonal! So what’s the difference between posting this stuff anonymously on the internet and telling a stranger on the street? Well, getting institutionalised for one. For another, it sounds crazy when you put it like that, but it’s kind of the same, isn’t it? Strangers get to know things about you that people close to you don’t, but in the latter scenario, people, at best, wouldn’t be interested, and at worst, would think you’d been drinking. Like Charlie Sheen, sharing secrets is only celebrated when on the internet and I think it’s better like that. There is an element of mystery surrounding a secret, a story and characters can be constructed, and there’s a romantic element that we like to indulge in when the banality of our own lives coupled with one too many hours working in the library and an infusion of red bull and skittles pumping our brains for us, allows us to take a little reprieve and discover what is going through someone else’s head half way round the world. Seeing someone’s secret on a postcard that represents themselves is a pretty personal thing and my working hypothesis is that it gives people comfort because it’s real, and not the work of a writer looking for a film deal. Whether you’re a sharer or a reader, there’s a secret for everyone out there, and you never know, reading other people’s may just inspire you to tell your own hidden message to the person it was meant for. Saying that, perhaps keep your Bieber revelations to yourself.

The secrets sent in cover a range of topics and a range of approaches, from the comical yet shocking, to the touching and heartfelt.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Never have I ever… had an inappropriate sex dream Written by bite’s sex & relationship columnist

reams don’t mean anything, right? That didn’t actually happen, did it? Cheating on my boyfriend in my sleep isn’t my fault, surely? Well if not, then why am I lying wide awake at 2am with some very moist panties and a head full of filthy fantasies about an all-night sex session I just had… whilst asleep? The worst part is, the boy who has just had his virtual wicked way with me is my best friend, whilst my real-life man is lying next to me, snoring. Dreams are weird things, especially for someone like me who has such a vivid imagination. Being able to transport myself from the comfort of my own chilly little bedroom to a boiling hot balcony in the south of France is quite an impressive skill. I am, however, starting to worry slightly that my subconscious decided to place me here on my back with a sweaty, muscled man between my thighs, a man that up till now I had only thought of as a friend. It means nothing, I tell myself, absolutely nothing. Then my mind begins to wander to his pert, shapely, rugby player’s buttocks and the impressive tent in his boxers that… stop. I can’t be thinking about this. As well as my surprise for WHO I have just dreamt about, I’m also quite shocked at this new-found ability to have a nocturnal orgasm. Yep, that’s right; men aren’t the only ones to have wet dreams. Research actually shows that 40% of women will experience a nocturnal orgasm before they reach the age of 45. Trust me, it’s science. Despite the thrill, I worry for weeks about my secret sex with another man. My dream has unleashed feelings I didn’t know I had and the episode is on my mind for a while. That was two years ago. Funnily enough, that guy I dreamt about then is the man sleeping next to me now. My inappropriate sex dream certainly opened up my mind to see him in a different light, however, the more I think of it, the more I believe that the attraction was already cemented at this point and my dream just confirmed it (as well as his very sizeable assets). According to Freud, all dreams are sexual in some way or another and this is a completely normal part of our dreaming activities. That being said, my research does show that dreams can sometimes be a way for our subconscious to reveal secret unfulfilled desires. They can also be a way to release tension in times of stress or frustration. Don’t be scared though boys and girls, my experience is the exception, most sex dreams are completely natural and mean absolutely nothing. The wonderful thing about dreaming is that we can travel, experiment and invent from the comfort of our own boudoir and most of the time the subjects our mind conjures up are completely random. Dreaming whilst asleep is something we have absolutely no control over, so what’s wrong with embracing it and simply enjoying the things you live out nocturnally? Sweet dreams…

Need help interpreting your dreams? Freud is the man to talk to.

Hopefully these guys won’t appear in any of your night time fantasies

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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AV Positive: adventures S of a placement student Written by Sam Lawes

Yours truly uploading canvass returns data. For the non-political, that’s how people intend to vote. It’s used to target leaflets to supporters, so that you’re not wasting 60% of the stuff you send out on people who won’t vote or will definitely vote no.

A Yes! supporter gives leaflets to theatre-goers before a showing of ‘Yes Prime Minister!’ We lobbied the Theatre to change the name to ‘Yes! to Fairer Votes Minister!’ but they weren’t interested.

o imagine you study politics. You’ve learned about the various voting systems. Personally, you like Proportional Representation, but anything that’s more representative is a step in the right direction. I know where you’re coming from – I’m a third year Politics student on placement with Yes! to Fairer Votes. We’re campaigning for a Yes! vote in the May 5th referendum, in which we’ll be asked whether we should reform our clapped out voting system by introducing the Alternative Vote. Then again, you might not study politics. You might study something different, or you might not study at all. You might a tourist who, having caught the wrong bus, has to wait at the university bus stop where a copy of bathimpact happens to be sitting. Regardless, I thought I’d give you a glimpse behind the scenes of a referendum campaign. Darling, there’s a lunatic on the doorstep Campaigners are - by definition - driven. We’re an odd mix. Every one of us has our own reasons for harassing members of the public, trying to persuade them that British democracy is worth interrupting their day for, jabbing leaflets at them or calling and asking what their plans for May 5th are. This makes coordinating a campaign difficult. You have apathetic political parties, absent volunteers and an empty bank account to deal with. On a recent conference call – it was a nation-wide conference and I was taking the call in the back of a petrol station – we all had one of those rare moments of total consensus. Beer mats. Someone from Cambridge had the idea of Yes! to Fairer Votes beer mats and the genius was immediately obvious. The appeal of every drinker in the country seeing our cheeky purple Yes! at the bottom of their glass is such that our proudly diverse group was at once unified. HQ, of course, was no fun: “We’ll look into it, it’s a great idea, but the issue is funding…” “Of course, but I’m pretty sure that this is the best idea we’ve had so far. In fact, this would probably win it…” “It might, Sam, [I had vocalised our collective desire for beer mats] but if it were a choice between beer mats and your pay..?” “There must be some money? My pay wouldn’t cover many beer mats anyway…” “We’ll see what we can do, but you know, without robbing a bank…” Yes! to Fairer Votes like gatecrashing parties One thing about Yes! to Fairer Votes is that we’re preoccupied with image. We know, of course, that we’re about voting for reform, but people always tend to ask the same questions. Top of the list: “So it’s a political thing?” The tragedy is that I suppose it is. I wish it wasn’t. Yes! is about making politics work for people. We want MPs to work harder to reach all their constituents, not just the few whose votes they’re after; we want a system which gives people more of a say in how their country is run; we want to re-enfranchise the vast majority of the British public, whose votes are either taken for granted or wasted. Is that really political? “Oh, I see! It’s a political thing. Which party are you?” No, dear voter, we’re not! We are all parties (bar the BNP, who are campaigning vigorously against AV as it would crush any chance they have of winning a seat) and none. Labour has advocated AV the longest, but half of them are against it; the Conservatives have a Yes! group, but they were banned from their own launch by Tory HQ; the Liberal Democrats are mostly busy trying not to get slaughtered in the local elections. The Greens keep their phones off to save electricity and the Loony party is working hard on their 2015 campaign plan. All in all, Yes! to Fairer Votes is a bunch of over-passionate idealists, trying to make British democracy a bit better. If you’d like to join us, send an email to yes2fairervotesbathNES@gmail.com; if you’d rather not, fair enough. At least some of you have got some sense.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Food: how to impress the most important woman in your life Written by Caroline Leach

o what are your plans for April 3rd? You haven’t got any? You do know what day it is right? You don’t? Well, you’re in trouble. Oh alright, I’ll tell you. It’s Mothering Sunday, or Mothers’ Day, to give its more common name. Originally this celebration, which always falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent, was an opportunity for people to travel back to their home church, or ‘mother’ church, where naturally they would encounter their family, hence the name. By the mid-twentieth century this tradition had lapsed but of course it didn’t take long for the US to adopt the holiday, making it a day for sons and daughters to say thank you to their mums in the cheesiest way possible. Flowers, chocolates and hand-made cards that say “Hapy Moter’s Day” are all acceptable; if you’re under the age of 10. Unfortunately, once you make it to our age, a little more imagination (i.e. money) is required. This is where we come in. What follows is a list of restaurant recommendations guaranteed to get you in your mum’s good books and, after all she’s done for you, doesn’t she deserve a little pampering? Cheap and cheerful If the bank account is looking a bit sparse at the moment then head to the Lime Lounge on Margarets Buildings, just down the road from the Circus. As well as picturesque surroundings this café/restaurant also boasts a two-for-one offer on all main courses from 5-7pm Sunday to Thursday. From braised, locally sourced lamb shank to an olive and basil risotto cake there should be something on the menu to please everyone, even the pickiest of mothers. The Lime Lounge is also known for its friendly service, but it does have more of a café feel so probably isn’t the place to go if your mum puts presentation above all else. Exotic and interesting Now the classic alternative choice in Bath is of course Yak Yeti Yak, a Nepalese restaurant on Pierrepont Street, just down the road from the station. You sit on the floor! They serve Nepalese Beer! If , however, you’ve eaten off enough gold dishes to last you a lifetime then head just around the corner to Café du Globe, a Moroccan restaurant opposite the Huntsman. From tagines to cous cous if your mum loves trying to pronounce foreign words really badly and/ or is a vegetarian then this is the place to go. They even run a 2-course menu for just £15.95 so a meal for mum there shouldn’t break the bank either. Splashing the cash As you would imagine, the streets of Bath hold many restaurants that cater to a more elevated wallet, so if you have a bit of cash to spare and you love your mummy dearest lots and lots like jelly tots then perhaps Raphael bar and restaurant is the place for you. Just reading the menu should have you salivating with delights such as a Marinated fillet steak with sautéed wild mushrooms & béarnaise sauce or a Gressingham Duck breast served with a roasted pear, Port and peppercorn sauce. Alternatively, head up to the Circus on Brock Street and enjoy some locally-sourced, seasonally appropriate fare which, while heavy on the wallet, is delightful to the tongue. So enjoy your Mothering Sunday, and, even if your mum isn’t in Bath, make sure you make the effort; at least spell Mothers’ Day right.

The Lime Lounge combines reasonably priced food and a great location with friendly service

Raphael’s is at Gascoyne House on Upper Borough Walls, opposite the theatre

Been out for a meal in Bath recently? Tell us about it! Whether you had the worst meal of your life in the classiest joint in town or you spent a blissful Sunday afternoon rediscovering the joy of a good pie in one of Bath’s many pubs, we want to hear from you. So put pen to paper, or fingers to a keyboard, and write us a review of around 500 words. Send us some pictures, too, and you could find yourself starring in these very pages. Send your submissions to features@bathimpact.com or come along to a contributors’ meeting. They take place fortnightly on Tuesday at 6.15 in 6E2.1. Our next ones are on March 29th and April 12th.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Cakey Katie: Plum and almond tart Written by Katie Brown

I’m Katie, a final year language student, and I’m a baking addict. It’s a great way to relax after a stressful day and it means you get lots of yummy treats without spending a fortune. So now I’m on a mission to bake at least one different dessert every week this year, posting the recipes and pictures on cakeykatie. blogspot.com. I’ll be sharing my favourites with you right here in bite, starting with the most delicious thing I’ve ever made.

Step 1

Step 3

Plums are such an underappreciated fruit, but they’re really good for you and taste great in a dessert. This one lasted less than 24 hours in our house! For the pastry: 6oz plain flour A pinch of salt 3oz unsalted butter 2 egg yolks 1 tablespoon iced water 1½ oz caster sugar For the filling: 1 tablespoon ground almonds 1lb ripe dessert plums, halved and stoned 2oz soft light brown sugar ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon 2 tablespoons flaked almonds 1. Sift the flour and salt into a pile on a cold surface and make a well in the centre. Add butter, egg yolks, water and sugar to the well. 2. Work the butter, egg yolks, water and sugar into a rough past with your fingertips. 3. Gradually work in the flour with your fingertips to make a smooth dough. Press into a ball. Wrap in foil and chill for 30mins. 4. Preheat the oven to 200o. 5. Roll the pastry out on a lightly floured surface and use to line a flan tin. Line with foil and baking beans (or if you don’t have baking beans something heavy that won’t burn, like lentils). Bake for 10 mins. 6. Remove the foil and beans/lentils from the tart case. Sprinkle the ground almonds over the base, and arrange the plum halves on top, skin-side upwards. Mix together the sugar, cinnamon and flaked almonds and cover the plums. 7. Bake for 30-40mins (depends on the strength of your oven – mine is fierce so only took 30 mins, just keep an eye on it). 8. Serve with cream (we brought Madagascan Vanilla Cream, mmm....)

Step 6

Step 8

Step 7

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

Submarine: A cracking new British comedy from one of the best comic writers of his generation, Richard Ayoade

Music

Theatre/Comedy

Exhibitions/Film

Noah & The Whale – Thekla, Bristol – 4th April This years’ feel good indie anthem machine, N&TW are getting people to stand in swaying groups with lighters in their hands while teaching them to spell ‘life goes on’. The Guide suggests that this message, in all its meek, desperate glory, should be delivered in a similar way (if at a slower tempo) to infants ,so as to prepare them for the world into which they are soon to be thrust, charged enormous amounts of money to receive an education and then stubbornly refused a job for years and years until they want to give up completely. This gig is for all those graduating this year. Yes, real life is going to be rubbish and there aren’t any jobs but, well, listen to these guys and sing a long to that chorus over and over and over... Sandi Thom – The Fleece, Bristol – 6th April After debuting in 2006 with the rash-inducing ‘I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair)’ Thom has gone on to release three albums and, inexplicably, a ‘Best Of’ compilation in 2010. The Guide wonders whether four years of recording music with infuriatingly twee titles – her her first album, ‘Smile... It Confuses People’, is probably the finest example of such unmitigated male cow excrement – really warrants the release of a greatest hits type collection. She is currently on an ‘intimate’ tour of Britain, so maybe if you put on a nice tie and stand near the front with posies in your Mohican you’ll get some extra attention. Ben Howard – Moles Club, Bath – 13th April A faintly mysterious figure, this acoustic guitar toting troubadour is going to the trouble of visiting our dear little city so you should all jolly well go and listen to him play just to show him how grateful you are. With surprisingly good acoustics and an always cosy atmosphere, Moles is probably one of the best places to see a folky, singer-songwriter type act. He seems like he is going to have a self-deprecating and adorable onstage persona which, when allied with love songs sung over guitar arrangements, is bound to make several ladies swoon. If you have a girlfriend you should probably take her elsewhere on the 13th.

King Lear – Theatre Royal, Bath – 5th-9th April Probably the biggest theatre event happening this semester, Shakespeare’s weirdest tragedy is getting a run out at the lovely old stage in the middle of Bath. It has a fantastic cast, massive amounts of hype and expectation and will almost certainly be sold out very, very soon indeed so get yourselves tickets any way you can. It will be the highlight of the season as far as Bath theatre goes. It’s a pretty intense evening of theatre - including one of the best eye injury scenes that The Guide can think of off the top of its head - so don’t go there hoping for a lighthearted evening. Journey’s End – Theatre Royal, Bath – 11th-16th April Possibly the finest play to have come out of the literature boom that followed the first world war, R C Sheriff’s wonderfully poised and poignant work follows King Lear at the Theatre Royal. That’s a pretty intense succession, like replacing Sir Alex Ferguson with The Special One (yes, that’s right, The Guide also reads the sports pages occasionally). This tour was also shown to packed and teary houses in London and New York so they have a fine pedigree, definitely go and check this one out. Again The Guide should definitely warn you that this is not the cheeriest of evenings. Hairspray – Hippodrome, Bristol – 12th-30th April Holy monkey magnets, readers, Michael Ball is coming to the southwest. The king of camp musicality will be gracing the stage, resplendent in wig and dress, for over two weeks as he full-throatedly belts his way through the score of one of the most successful musicals of the past few years. Yes, there will be other cast members and, yes, The Ball-inator probably won’t be onstage every single second of the production but it hardly matters does it? Warning: sitting in the front row may cause loss of hair due to His Ball-ness’ enormous vocal power. What a way to lose your hair though. Almost worth it.

Submarine – Little Theatre, Bath – From today Richard Ayoade is a prodigiously gifted comic actor and writer, helping to bring us the unequalled brilliance of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace as well as being the only bit of The IT Crowd worth watching. This, his movie directing debut, has been equally well received but will only get a small run in the Little Theatre. Go and see this movie. It will be funny and touching and intelligent. And that isn’t just what the adverts say, even Charlie Brooker liked it and he hates pretty much everything. Like, all things, all of the things. Once again, go and see this movie! Do it now. Why are you even still reading? All That We Are – BathFineArt Gallery – 23rd March – 8th April A pretty brilliant exhibition up on 35 Gay Street showing the works of Paul Lemmon, Brian Denington, Richard Twose, Anouk Mercier and Rick Kirby, and Sara Ingleby-Mackenzie. From sculpture to oil on canvas to acrylic to photography, this exhibition gives you much more than you might expect from a little gallery in Bath so you’ll at least be pleasantly surprised by what you find if not smitten entirely. There are numerous little galleries like this dotted around the city, it’s a pretty nice Saturday to wander from one to the next taking in little nibbles of what the city has to offer to lovers of fine art. Just sayin’. Trust – Cinemas, Everywhere – 1st April Directed by David “Stop Calling Me Ross” Schwimmer and starring Clive Owen this is a story about how a family deals with some sort of devastating, rape-based disaster. Owen will be taking on a role he’s not used to, apparently, so there’s a chance he won’t be a massive jawed lump of wood with virtually no screen presence but it’s probably not worth placing a bet on that. Expect weeping, emotional hand-wringing and artful camera angles because this has got 2012 Oscar contender written all over it. You heard it here first folks. (We’re pretty sure no one will remember this prediction come 2012 Oscar season).

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

Submarine: A cracking new British comedy from one of the best comic writers of his generation, Richard Ayoade

Music

Theatre/Comedy

Exhibitions/Film

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Fashion: Our photographer asks www.bathimpact.com

Photos and interviews

Do you have a secret? Yes, but if I told you it wouldn’t be secret anymore would it? Last thing you stole? A biscuit. That’s pretty tame, isn’t it?

So since you’re in this anonymously, anything you want to let anyone know? To Paul downstairs: Please turn your music down, it’s so loud it makes the walls vibrate! Got any embarrassing stories to tell? Well, recently I got so drunk I knocked myself out on the pavement. The graze lasted a week so I couldn’t escape from the shame.

Beauty secrets that are best left alone A

Written by Holly Narey

TTENTION, lose ten pounds in three days with this one SECRET TIP! DON’T Pay for White Teeth, Learn the secret trick discovered by a mom to turn yellow teeth white for under $10! Recognise these capitalised, badly spelt advertisements splashed all over the internet? Who are these wisdom-filled humanitarians so willing to impart their beauty tips upon us for a very reasonable fee? Scammers, of course. If a beauty tip sounds too good to be true, it probably is, otherwise these “secrets” would long ago have become public knowledge. On the other end of the spectrum, however, there are those pieces of advice that are so bizarre, unbelievable and often repugnant that they might actually work. If you have heard of the Geisha facial then you will know that it is not your average clay mask or face-rub, it is in fact the act of smearing bird faeces over your face and it is not only a treatment offered widely and with moderate demand; it is also one of the more expensive ones. This treatment has been carried out for hundreds of years; guanine is a chemical said to be excellent for the skin and what comes out at the other end of a bird’s digestive system just so happens to be a great source of this chemical. Another bizarre thing that some people choose to put all over their faces is cat-litter; said to be an excellent exfoliant; but then again, so is a face-towel, and I know which I would prefer to use. In fact, supermodel Christie Brinkle swears by this, to the bafflement of dermatologists. One of the most sought-after characteristic in some cultures, counter intuitively if you take into account our country of fake-tanning David Dickinson look-alikes, is white skin. Some people go the extra mile to reach this goal not just by staying out of the sun, but by turning to chemicals to change their skin colour. Those chemicals just so happen to be an interesting concoction of mercury and arsenic, included in many lotions used to bleach the skin. Another lesser-known trend, seen all over Asia and slowly rising in this country over the last few years, and which I have actually paid money to endure, is the “doctor fish” treatment. This

involves sitting on the side of a tank with your feet in a pool of water, where a school of carnivorous fish gorge themselves on your dry skin, which is gross, fascinating and, if you are at all ticklish, pure agony. A lot of these excellent ideas that I’m sure you’re all very keen to try for yourself seem to be aimed mostly at women, but let’s not be sexist now; these “secret” beauty tips aren’t just for the ladies. There is a veritable treasure trove of dubiously effective pointers for the male fashion and beauty enthusiasts out there. For example, run out of shaving cream? Never fear! Peanut butter will do the trick. Want to shave off your beard? Just make sure it’s warm first. Everyone knows that people find a man with a well-defined face (whatever that means) more attractive, so emphasise your features with a pinky-brown colour on your cheeks, side of nose, chin and jawbone. There are of course a lot of obscure beauty tips that really do work, but they are, of course, more well known, if a bit too much effort to actually try out for yourself; such as washing your hair in flat beer to make it silky and shiny. Covering yourself in mashed avocado and leaving it for twenty minutes will soften and hydrate your skin; unsurprisingly when you consider its high levels of natural fats; it is an excellent moisturiser, however, this would almost definitely end up costing a lot more than something out of a bottle. Streaks in your fake tan? Solve this instantly by adding baking soda to a loofah and simply scrubbing them away. If your skin is puffy, dab a cool, damp, green tea bag over your face and let the antioxidants do their work. While there is a lot of varying advice out there, it may be that the lesser known “secrets” in these situations have been rejected as the more popular option not because they are fiercely guarded and passed down from generation to generation, it is probably just that they are not as good as the better known and widely used alternatives, so take them with a pinch of salt. On the other hand, if it goes wrong, it will make a good story, so reject your normal regime and whip out the peanut butter. Preferably not crunchy.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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tough questions to nameless faces

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by Harriet Tangney

Stolen anything recently? Last thursday I stole three cans of beer from my neighbours and then ran away. For no reason! I feel really bad. Anything you would like to confess to someone? To Helen: If you are still wondering where your mulled wine went, we stole it on St Patricks Day, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll pay you back, sorry!

HOT

Care to share a shameful story? I was running home from a night out, pissed obviously, and I decided to climb a tree and ended up getting stuck. A guy had to come and help me down! He brought me some cider in the morning to make sure I was okay, and I couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember any of it.

NOT Ageing popstars

Eating cereal

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Music: Celebrity and music - is there any way Written by Ben Hooper

Ozzy Osbourne: Wouldn’t want to meet him down a dark alley. Especially not if I was a bat and he was peckish.

A Clockwork Orange: A pretty intense 70s film that was banned for years. Brilliant movie.

ou may recognise a few of the performers I’m about to list: The Who, Johnny Cash, The Sex Pistols, Guns n’ Roses, Oasis, Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse. They all have something in common and there are far more bands of a similar ilk; these artists all carry, and carried with them, a particularly strong image. What this essay, and it is an essay, is trying to establish, is whether or not the personas, personal lives and social environment in which they produced their music influenced their outcome. What if the Wombles hadn’t lived underground, therefore making it insignificant for them to go overground, would they still have wombled free? And, more importantly, would anyone have cared? Just imagine the impact on climate change. First of all, to establish the argument, it’s important to compare the acts themselves, though this is difficult and it must be acknowledged that comparisons from the sixties to the noughties are hard to draw. For a start, any expression made by any musician during the civil rights movement or perhaps the ‘swinging sixties’ e.g. The Who, can’t really be categorised in the same way as modern bands behaviour. It’s safe to say that for a band to make groundbreaking social and musical statements was commonplace during the sixties, however being socially accepted, was not. A Clockwork Orange (the Stanley Kubrick film) which was released in 1971 (in Britain) was received by much controversy and even recalled from cinemas, by the year 2000 (on its official re-release) it has reached wide acceptance and cult film status. It seems fair to make the assumption that to be outlandish in society today doesn’t incur the same bravery or repercussions. In the digital age, it’s fair to say we know that little bit more than just the stage persona of our favourite artists, gone are the days where a slice of Top of the Pops, the Old Grey Whistle Test or Parky (the best chat show host in history; for all those who hadn’t heard or like Wossy [Jonathan Woss). But is it important, does it matter who they’re dating, what they spend their money on, if they take drugs (in excess) or what image they give themselves? And, more importantly, does it affect their artistic output? The answer seems to be an unequivocal yes. All these aspects are contributory and, for some, perhaps even more influential than the musical output of artists. If, for example, you asked the average Joe about Ozzy Osbourne, they would probably draw upon his image as a rat-guzzling rock demigod with the drug habits of Charlie Sheen from six thousand dimensions all rolled in to one giant crack rock and smoked in Satans’ chin dimple, or something similar. It’s important to draw a distinction between bands who have a strong musical presence and receive critical acclaim as apposed to those who are just on the market as tabloid or trash mag’ fodder. In the case of bands which fulfil both categories, bands such as The Who, The Sex Pistols, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Oasis and in more recent years acts such as The Libertines, Eminem, Marilyn Manson and My Chemical Romance. All aforementioned have ‘celebrity’ status and at some stage or other in their careers been part of contentious or notorious social acts which have brought them into the limelight. From The Who smashing up sets after gigs, exclaiming “I hope I die before I get old”, influencing thousands, to The Sex Pistols denouncing civil society and endorsing anarchy, to the divergent rock persona employed by Metallica and Maiden, to the extreme proponents of wild drug fuelled lifestyles of Oasis, often featured in newspapers for their bad boy attitudes. The Daily Mail have even accused My Chem’ Rom’ of influencing youth dejection and a possible link to teenage suicides and suicide cults. In the ever growing media saturated music market, the private lives of bands consume us as subjects, it’s easy to say that The Who’s style was just as important as their music in the 60s, as one of the most revolutionary rock bands of the century but it’s hard to extract oneself to pose the question does the social context of music today make it more effective?

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

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to separate the two? Would it even be worth it?

“

Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

”

The question posed by John Cusack’s character in the 2000 film High Fidelity seems quite poignant: “Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?” I think the assumption that the personal habits of musicians allow fans to relate to artists, which helps fans to understand them more as people and in turn to understand where their music is coming from. Many bands are very influential in setting trends and it’s arguable that the majority of teenagers in the western world, past and present, relieved their angst through the medium of music. On the other side of the coin, an artist like Morrisey, in all his glory, is the prime example of an artist with an elaborate stage persona who keeps his private life as described – very much behind closed doors. In some way this makes fans more loyal to him as a performer, separate from him as a person. But, regardless, Morrisey is still a massively successful artist, so arguably his social actions are irrelevant, even if dressing up as a Nazi might have lost him some fans. It’s clear that the products and actions of musicians throughout history are inextricably linked, to shed some light on the subject perhaps it’s worth comparing it to, for example the prose and verse produced in the ‘Great War’ (WW1). This specific form of literature is prominent today but is that because of how effective it is as literature or is it due to the social context? It is a period of history given a lot of attention from a variety of sources (outside of art: the media and the education system, for example), weighed down with cultural and historical symbolism that is relatively inescapable. Of course this is completely subjective and if every period in history is unique then there is no way to answer this question. It seems to me, however, that its esteem comes from both of these aspects, it is effective because it encapsulated an especially emotive and unique experience of nations colliding in the way that they did as well as being technically proficient and wonderfully written. In a world where the meaning of celebrity has changed enormously – a change that has been exhaustively lamented and extolled in various parts of the internet over the past few years – what seems to have happened is that the context in which modern day musical artists exist is, more than ever, inextricably linked to what they are actually producing. The ability for artists to create music that is both interesting on its own and that relates to the audience within the epoch in which they exist is an extremely difficult thing to do. The fact that the WW1 poets are still remembered shows that marrying these two elements is probably the hallmark of art at its finest.

John Cusack looking suitably perplexed as he asks himself whether living in a land fill is making him miserable

Wilfred Owen’s war poetry remains much loved almost a century after his death

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Rumours and lies in the big bad music industry www.bathimpact.com

Written by Mark Brandt

o quote the pessimistic if truthful Dr. Gregory House, “everybody lies”,. The music industry could be considered a classic arena of rumourmongering, exaggeration and outright lies. Such things have been a constant part of the package since commercial music took off. From the smallest individual to the largest organisation, we’re all to blame. There have been many stories passed around through the years: from the debauchery of 80s glam rock, through Satanic accusations that have followed many bands for as long as anyone can remember, to the just plain weird tales. Anyone familiar with the story of Led Zeppelin, some groupies and octopuses will understand (although it might well be mud sharks rather than octupuses: google it). There must be countless examples of times where someone has spread a rumour to boost the reputation of a band. Plenty of bands who have just started out have been given a helping hand by support from their fanbase, particularly those bands boasting the sexual prowess of rock stars such as Bret Michaels (Poison), Steve Tyler (Aerosmith) and Tommy Lee (Mötley Crüe). I also remember a time when you couldn’t open a magazine without seeing someone attempting to get in the spotlight, screaming they had slept with some famous (read: promiscuous) musician. Now, it seems, people seem to have moved onto greener pastures, particularly because half the new bands coming through are populated by gender-confused introspective post-Goths. On the other side, there are always those individuals whose mission appears to be the destruction of bands’ reputations. I recently discovered a website dedicated

to denouncing every rock and metal band under the sun, calling them blasphemous and accusing them of glorifying Satan (you can guess the gist of the site already). Speaking of blind hate, trends can also be noticed amongst people who hate on an individual band/ artist: be it Slipknot, Bloc Party or Justin Bieber, there are some artists who are “cool to hate”. Sometimes, of course, it’s just(in)ified to hate, but in other cases it saddens me that people haven’t formed their own personal opinion on the music. Naturally, bands also do what they can to promote their own image, from the mysterious to the bleeding obvious. The hype surrounding Arctic Monkeys shows just how powerful the internet can be used as a medium to spread the word. The rise of the holy social networking trinity of MySpace, Facebook and Twitter has also facilitated the connection between bands and fans. Many of the local and famous bands that I know have set up a regular connection with their fans. This connection has also spread into rumour-mongering. Take the numerous bands that do farewell tours – convincing people to buy up those ‘last ever tickets’ – only return a few years later (I’m looking at you, KISS and Lynyrd Skynyrd). Or the bands who “self-confirm” their participation in festivals when in fact they’re nowhere near confirmed. Then again, bands themselves have feuds and rows. Take, for example, Blur & Oasis, Nas & Jay-Z or Iron Maiden & The Osbournes. In these cases, they’ve had no issue with spreading rumours about the opposition and succeeded completely in alienating their respective fanbases from each other. Such rumours can be incredibly

damaging for a band’s reputation; some of the oldschool rock bands have fallen flat due to feuds between (ex-) band members, and others’ solo careers have had their wings clipped from media reports of unkind words. When we’re not being swamped with individuals’ and bands’ attempts, the big guns step in. Word got out incredibly quickly of the leaked Reading Festival lineup, and it has certainly captivated Twitter and Facebook. Maybe that was the intention of the festival; it is certainly an excellent market ploy to raise interest even if the tickets are gone. It’s also guaranteed to make the ticket touts happier, as they raise the unofficial prices. On the other hand, I like the element of excitement that you get when you buy a ticket and wait for the announcements of bands you love and loathe. Or maybe, just maybe, it was an accident. And PR companies? Let’s not even get into that. We can safely conclude that everybody lies. But, ultimately, what effect does this have on the artist or the fan? Are there psychological repercussions due to rumours? I suppose it depends on the person’s own mental strength, if you compare Britney’s Breakdown to Lady Gaga’s nonchalance at being called a hermaphrodite (although that rumour was certainly taken on by her and so, cynics might suggest, quite possibly could have been started by her). The image of the band is altered, and in some ways I’d say the less we know about the artist, then the less “tainted” our experience of listening is. My advice? Try to ignore all the nonsense around it and just enjoy the music, that’s what really matters and that’s what really lasts.

What Led Zeppelin don’t know about a) groupies and b) octopuses isn’t worth knowing. It’s the job of our generation to produce a band that combines the two.

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Videogames: the secret confession of an enormous geek

This is a map depicting several lands from The Elder Scrolls series. The writer’s shameful experience occured in the purple area in the top right.

Written by Alex Grounds

nce upon a time I went to a school. This was a place I went to be bored for eight or so hours a day to eventually get a letter which entitled me to go to university. It’s what I did out of school that I want to keep secret, however. A shame that I cannot shake. Not the drink, drugs or underage girls. But a game. A video game by the name of Morrowind (available on Xbox and PC). This is my confession. I pray daily for forgiveness for what I did in those dark, dark days. For those of you that don’t know it’s a Role Playing Game (RPG), released in 2002, in which you save the world. There is only one way of doing this. But it’s what you do when you aren’t saving the world that defines these games and Morrowind, the third title in The Elders Scrolls series, in particular. While there is barely anything you have to do to save the world you have to be very, very strong to do it. Meaning that you have to play for a long, long time. There are many things for you to do in the world. And you must do them in order to become the person fate has destined you to be – the hero to kill the ultimate bad guy. Where then, you ask, is there a reason to be ashamed? A reason to be shunned for being a nerdy computer freakathon? Possibly. A reason to be slightly annoyed by the massive waste of time (for full completion you need to put in roughly 80 hours of play time) inherent in any

leisure activity? Definitely. But in this modern day liberal society people almost accept the fact that there are truly hardcore games out there for people who want to spend time controlling an avatar which exists in a much more fantastic place than player ever can (I don’t know if you’ve heard of a game called World of Warcraft but I think it’s pretty popular). This is a different shame, a cloud that sullies all memories of what could have been a hugely enjoyable gaming experience that requires an apology to my younger self. The week I bought this game I was excited. I had anticipated its release for months; I had read about it, I had researched how to do well in it, I had guzzled my own weight in nerdtastic information about this game – from how to play all the way down to all the references the game designers make to a specific forum on the internets. So on one fateful Monday afternoon I came home from school and I started to play the game of all games. I stopped for dinner. And later for sleep. At around 3am. The next day I went to school and the entire cycle continued. Until the weekend. When all I did was play. This added up to over 60 hours of game time. 60 hours in a week. There are 168 hours in a week. I spent over a third of it on my laptop in my bedroom. I was a zombie. Shambling from my bed to school to my room to dinner to my

room to my bed. So what? What could possibly be worse than spending the amount of time needed to pass an entire module of a degree course in one week on a videogame? I cheated. I looked up online how to make my computer give me things I was not supposed to have (porn notwithstanding of course). I used the console to give me armour and weapons far beyond my level. I achieved without any effort. One might almost say I did not achieve. I was young. I was naïve. I never realised I would be left so empty inside after so long playing a game where nothing I did was due to skill or work but due to a string of code that told the game to give me whatever I wanted. Over the last three weeks I have finished the sequel. These are games you can spend 120 hours playing overall without ever repeating yourself. They are staggeringly huge. But I am happy with my level of completion. This time around I removed temptation. I played the sequel on my Xbox 360. On which you cannot cheat. Meaning that in the last 3 weeks I have spent 50 hours saving the world (again!). But I feel that not a minute was wasted. That every minute was worthwhile! The purchase of nappies was, this time, justified. I truly achieved something great. Next stop? My degree! Nah, just kidding, the next sequel comes out in November. I’m expecting great things from myself!

Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Film: Hang on filmmakers, cliffhangers aren’t always a great idea C liffhangers have been a staple of Hollywood cinema for decades. Whether it’s the teetering bus from The Italian Job, the grab for the guns in Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, or the last summer’s spinning top from Inception, these moments intentionally instill hours of confused musings about the fate of characters that, unless a sequel is ever released, will never be revealed. But is this simply a clever trick by screenplay writers to keep audiences guessing long after the credits roll or is it a display of visual laziness in which the writers figuratively drop everything to grab a drink with their buddies, instead of finishing what they started? There are arguments for both sides but, unfortunately, the latter team snoozed their alarms so many times they missed the focus group, so only the views from the former were counted. Cliffhangers create the illusion of a perfect ending. Not only has the story throughout the film been crafted in a way that encourages the viewer’s emotional and cognitive participation, but it ends by placing the entire future of the film’s cast and plot, expanding past its runtime, in their hands. It is then up to the onlooker, the most passive participant of the creation process, to construct the protagonist’s final decision or the outcome of a poised event, concluding, mainly for their own sanity, the ultimate finale of the film. The illusion here is that this is a positive gift to receive. The writers of screenplays such as these forget the basic rule of any novel creation: the world you create is only truly affected by you. Sure, readers may envision Dumbledore alive somewhere in the mountains in Harry Potter or that Yoda was only pretending to have the courage of a small woodland creature in Revenge of the Sith, but these creations of the imagination are redundant unless the author of

Written by Dave Langdale

the original piece officially explains them. As such, placing the fate of their created world into the hands of millions of people is testament to players in a World Cup final refusing a penalty shootout so the fans can decide who won in their hearts, rendering the whole contest utterly pointless. It is the sole responsibility of any author, for any medium, whether it is books, films or music, to create a consummate piece. Without a beginning, middle and end the world produced remains incomplete and, as such, frustrates the audience because ultimately, the answer, however well reasoned in the mind of the viewer, is never right until the author of the piece reveals it. What is infinitely more frustrating is that placing the decision in the hands of the audience is generally a low blow, a knee appearing out of nowhere to land a strike causing tears, screaming and possible infertility. There is usually no effort to signal a viewer decision until the moment it hits, which only heightens the notion of being ripped off. This argument is so important because, when it is done right, the result is extraordinary. Take the relatively unknown K-Pax, a wonderfully weird story about a man convinced he’s an alien called Prot. The film progress in two parts, one half fighting the corner of the alien theory and the other refuting it. From the very first second of the opening sequence the audience is requested to participate in the decision process and when the moment finally comes, they have been fully provided with every ounce of evidence to do

so. Thus what is ultimately constructed is a wholly complete picture, without a forced cliffhanger, that succeeds where its competitors have failed in leaving the fate of the character up to the viewer. The reason it does so is because the story actually finishes and the choice each audience member may make has no bearing on the outcome of any characters in the film, therefore making it a pleasure to decide. It is an incredibly fine line but one that has a huge impact on the satisfaction of the audience leaving the cinema and their inclination to recommend it to friends and relatives. If the cliffhanger is a lazy add-on to stave off deciding the fate of the cast they have so painstakingly created, then the viewer leaves feeling rightfully frustrated that they have paid so much money for an incomplete story. If, however, the story is finished and then a decision is bestowed upon the audience that has no bearing on the outcome of the plot, but is simply a product of a beautifully constructed argument, it is a joy to be a part of. So, if you have just watched Inception and you’re tearing your hair out that the damn thing won’t fall over, even though you know it should because the kids’ clothes are different, throw the DVD away, walk to the nearest HMV and pick K-Pax up from the bargain bin and watch how it’s meant to be done.

The Italian Job (the original one, obvs) has got a classic cliffhanger ending. Can you guys work out what Michale Caine was going to propose?

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Tuesday 29th March 2011

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Literature: The not so secret shame of adult trash fiction

Detail from the front-cover of a typical supermarket romance novel. Mills & Boon are the most famous publisher of these books but are by no means alone.

Written by Fabiana Giovanetti

rash. What is trash? Checking on the translator’s closest friend, the dictionary, we see that trash is first and foremost “waste material, refuse”. If we read down to the next line we also read that trash can be “cultural items and ideas of poor quality”. Something you’d throw instantly in the bin without thinking about it twice. It could be an old worn out pair of shoes or an old All Saints tape, but it could also be a book, most probably one that deceived you at first. This sort of fare is actually a proper genre. In order to make official its presence in the bookshops it’s been dubbed “trash lit”. Here comes the question: what is trash and what is not? What is worth throwing in the bin or using as firewood? The problem is that the way by which something fits into this genre seems to be decided by judging how much it is related to the younger generations. As long as it concerns us, people between adolescence and adulthood, it will almost certainly be called trash literature. It will be labelled as something that would better be used to wrap our chicken fajita instead of becoming a best seller. Think about the Twilight phenomenon, for example. No, I’m not going to defend it – I apologise, but a bunch of vampires with hormone imbalance is not at all my cup of tea. But the way it is treated does seem to me to be unfair. Books like these are depicted as the nemesis of literature, the decline of the concept of “good books” and, most importantly, as a troubling insight into the minds of the younger genera-

tion. I may be wrong, but I think that this kind of story is not that different from the plot of a Mills & Boon paper book – okay, maybe with a gory and gothic approach but I think most people accept that the enduring popularity of vampire stories is precisely the same as the hundreds of Mills & Boon books; sex. The difference is that one set are written for adult women – sold in supermarkets, marketed to appeal to bored housewives – so they’re flimsy things, justified by, supposedly, having no effect on their audience. In my opinion, a greased up cowherd who kidnaps a young countrywoman to take her in a cornfield is far from being flimsy. “You’re all I want, babe,” says him fixing his gaze on her blue eyes. “I’m on fire,” replies her, “hold me in your powerful and muscular arms”. I bet that even the corrosively saccharine lovebirds Bella and Edward can actually say something less sappy than this, with a bit of effort. Everything is permitted, as long as it is literature written by adults for adults. I remember about a detective novel by Ed McBain I found in my mum’s bookshelf called “Mary Mary”. The first time I read it I was ten, so I just thought it was too much for a little girl like me and it was my fault for not enjoying it. Stubborn as always, I read it another time a couple of years later and I realised that it wasn’t me. My mum told me I was a special little girl, but it’s still

pretty worrying if a ten-year-old can guess instantly who the murderer is. Why is there always a detective about to retire who decides to get the most puzzling and nonsensical crime of his carrier? Wrong tracks, impenetrable clues, suspense... it’s something you’ll enjoy once but the overuse of these elements creates common patterns that bore the poor readers who aren’t addicted to cliché. In order to grab female attention this kind of novel, rather thoughtfully, also provides some romanticism. Excluding cornfield and oily skin, the passion and the pathos are the same of any M&B you could find at the newsagent. The detective falls in love with his young and braggart colleague – so unexpected, so original. I’ve read far too many paper books about these things when I was on holiday with my family (boredom and plenty of time under the sun can madden you) and they’re all exactly the same. Why aren’t these books trash whereas the poor werewolf Jacob is? Why aren’t we justified to sometimes read trash lit and enjoy it as well? We have to face that intellectual laziness is affecting pretty much everyone we see every day, not just young people. Besides, sometimes a flimsy book is what we need to chill out a bit. I’ve a skeleton in the cupboard as well: a massive collection of old “Goosebump” books. But please, do not tell anybody, it’s a secret. My collection of Stieg Larsson and Dan Brown novels, on the other hand, are completely acceptable. Obviously.

Tuesday 29th March 2011

Puzzle Corner

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Handily placed on the back of bite, ready for your emergency coffee / ice cream break. Comics are once again courtesy of bathimpact’s resident artist, Darius G. This week, we also have integral puzzles brought to you by Simon O’Kane.

Darius G

Edited by Katie Rocker

Across

Dairy drink (9) Modern abacus (10) Clock sound (4) Borat’s swimwear (7) Floor covering (6) Bulgarian alphabet (8) 32. University grounds (6) 33. Uncover (6) 34. First year student (7)

Solution for last issue

Down 2. Antarctic creature (7) 3. Change (6) 4. Sherlock Holmes’ instrument (6) 5. Map making (11) 9. London market (6) 11. Capital of Iran (6) 13. Deep blue; Pokemon city (8) 14. Chewing gum flavour (10)

15. Lighten (6) 17. Given power (6) 20. Commercial goods, often branded (11) 21. Out of proportion, misshapen (9) 22. Exchange (4) 23. Blood vessel type (6) 25. Set going; add to organisation (8) 27. Collect (7) 28. Sound level (6)

Brain Teasers

1. A pipe, a carrot, and a couple sticks are lying together in a field. Why? 2. A woman lives on the tenth floor of an apartment building. Every morning she takes the elevator all the way down, and goes to work. In the evening, she gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in it she goes back to her floor directly. Otherwise, she goes to the seventh floor and walks up three flights of stairs to her apartment. Why? 3. A basket contains 5 apples. How can they be divided among 5 kids so that each one has an apple and one apple stays in the basket? 1. They’re the remains of a melted snowman .2. The woman is a midget. She can’t reach the upper elevator buttons, but she can ask people to push them for her. She can also push them with her umbrella. 3. 4 kids get an apple (one apple for each one of them) and the fifth kid gets an apple with the basket still containing the apple.

Brain Teaser solutions

Integral solutions

Integral puzzles

1. Working (8) 5. Circus comedian (5) 6. US state, locoador (anag.) (8) 7. Damage (5) 8. Skull (7) 10. Meddling (11) 12. Not listened to (7) 16. On the subject of (9) 17. Goodbye (8) 18. Large meeting (10) 19. Items, objects (6)

20. 24. 26. 29. 30. 31.