bite, Volume 16 Issue 9 by bathimpact

bite

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite facebook.com/bathimpact

This week’s theme is:

Keep on Rolling

That music in your head

Album of the biweek

That music in your head is a “uniquely personal” sound with some free style beats that just seem to grab hold of your consciousness and make you want to sing aloud. Taking influences from many other artists that music just mixes it around, sometimes the lyrics can get a bit lost in the overall experience though that music is a deeply personal and ultimately rewarding sound. Tune in.

Settlers of Catan Game of the biweek

Settlers of Catan is a board game, but as a game you will most defiantly not be bored! Hahahaha. The game involves randomly assigning resources on a board and then trying to build your civilisation from two small towns into a thriving community of cities. It’s a four player game, involving trade, tactical positioning and a bit of luck. Well worth a play.

Tree of the biweek

Technically Cannabis is a plant, but im sure none of you will mind. Cannabis is really very useful, not only can you get high off it but arguably even more importantly it is responsible for hemp fibre, seeds and oil. when you are buying your seeds for your student grow, be sure to remember, hemp producing variety’s often have been selectively breed so that no drugs can be obtained from them!

impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

his week’s issue of bite is all about drugs, ya bish? We will be taking you on a magical mystery tour through the world of mind altering and perception changing substances, taking you up high and then leaving you empty and devoid of any passion for life waiting

9/10

for your next hit. Hopefully, anyway. I whole heartedly suggest you attempt to take some kind of drug before reading this issue. My top five would be: Cat Nip, Alcohol, LSD (It’ll probably just write its self), The Vice Chancellor’s Salary and the heady whiff of David

Cameron’s opium den. If you can’t find any of that there is always heroin – after all as my little sister said: “The heroin girl look is really coming in right now” (I don’t know either, the youths right?), so I assume it’s as easy to pick up as crack. Enjoy!

Not Doing Drugs

honestly don’t think I need to do any drugs. I came to this conclusion a couple of years ago whilst doing my placement in Leamington Spa. Due to my general apathy and disorganisation I decided to get a house with strangers instead of with my fellow people on placement. One Saturday Alex, one of my housemates, decided to throw an impromptu ketamine party. Of course, as we were watching TV and I’d already met most of these people before, I decided to stick around. Quite a few people I know have described vividly the wonders of sinking into a K-hole, so I decided not to partake in the cake and instead thought it would be quite nice to just have a chat with all these messed up people and mentally record all the strange things they did and said. They all did their share and made the appropriate drug taking sounds, and then things went back to normal. Inwardly I was quite looking forward to the ensuing confusion and chaos, however as time went on instead of finding these people more difficult to talk too, I actually felt a lot more comfortable chatting to these apparently messed up members of society. Where before I always felt we were on completely different wavelengths,

now I found that descending into the absurd for them, perhaps made them more akin to me in my general state of confusion in life. It was after this episode that I personally started seeing drugs differently. No one human is the same and no one drug is the same. If you’re a chilled out relaxed person, perhaps you don’t need to smoke weed, leave that to the rage heads and those who can’t find that in their lives. If you find yourself detached from life struggling to focus

on the moment, then perhaps in many situations alcohol can help you. No one really needs recreational drugs, even in the example above relying on alcohol to make you feel part of the world is inherently destructive, a mental state is not something that can be changed by force, and at the end of the day if you are using a drug for a specific reason,

or to compensate for a selfidentified deficiently, then doing drugs won’t be something you do, it will become part of your identity. Of course to lighten the mood I’d like to contradict myself somewhat. Some people defiantly do need drugs. I don’t mean this in a medical sense, I mean it in a “god this person is so well adjusted and sane that the shear fact I’m in their immediate vicinity is going to make me throw up repeatedly over a small child.” You must all know someone like it, they are insufferable (if you don’t it’s probably you). If I could have my own way I would force these people to take enough drugs to destroy any semblance of reality they may have so that they could at least comprehend how difficult the average person finds it drinking a smoothie made from whatever latest fad some nutritionist has dragged from the bowels of a whale and then running for 12 miles because “you know, feeling great is just.. so great right”. Insanity breeds personality, or so someone once said – if not its mine – it’s the best and the worst people who find themselves truly caught up or damaged by drugs, so it’s not worth judging them or persecuting them. I say kill’em KILL’EM ALL!

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact

exspoof impact JD Hancock

Spoof Lite

What might have, but at the same time definitely didn’t, happen New Arts Centre Made Mostly of Biscuit.

here is outrage amongst the student population as allegations have arisen from the University’s apology generation facility that The Edge is made mostly of biscuit. “We didn’t ask any questions at first because we were currently staging a production of Custard Creams the Musical,” said BUSMS Chair Bom Turgess, “but during one Shakespeare production, where a character got tea thrown onto him, we had a scene reminiscent of that time in Alien when the acid blood melts through the floor.”

SU Activities Officer and Nick West’s punchbag Freddy Clapson said: “We are constantly lobbying the University on being more responsible with new builds on campus. People are still angry about the stairway in the East Building that leads out of a 4th floor window, and that moment when Contractors accidentally installed a piranha pit in the SU toilets, but this is a wholly different ball park - mostly because the ball park has been intentionally located out the back of Fresh so it gets less business.”

Glynis To Remove The Pain Of Decision Making

Galactic Senate I electoral season comes to end Simon O’Kane Star Wars Enthusiast impact-sorry@bath.ac.uk

he Tastycratic Party’s Lucy Woodcock was elected to represent Earth on the Galactic Senate with a surprise victory over Fingerlican rival and incumbent Elliott Campbell, who had been widely expected to retain his seat. Veteran political analyst Marianne Gros said, “Campbell was very popular with young people. The recent changes to the voter registration system meant a lot of first-time voters just didn’t bother to register, which definitely had an impact I think.” Visibility was one of the main themes of Woodcock’s campaign. “I really want to put Earth on the map and lobby for extraterrestrial investment in a new glittery spaceport, with musical theatres and a cantina!” she told bite. The Senate, based on Coruscant near the centre of the Milky Way galaxy, has representatives of every star system in the Galactic Republic and is chaired by the Republic’s leader, Supreme Chancellor Glynis Breakwell. Both candidates were strongly against the Chancellor’s proposed reorganization of the Republic, which would see the controversial Work Capability Assessments concentrated in one month to save money. At the Senatorial Debate, chair by Universal Radio Betelgeuse (URB) news anchor Morbo, Woodcock said, “I will continue persuading the Senate to change their minds. If they decide to go ahead with it I will respect the Senate’s decision, but that would be a shame because it would mean they had ignored the

Earthling voice.” Campbell responded: “If that happens, we will keep fighting, even if that means breeding an army of awesome super-clones, who quickly start asking that their purpose is and do dramatic monologues.” Woodcock immediately changed her mind and agreed with him. The Watermelon Party’s Katy Boyce, who was barred from standing for Senate due to her involvement with the Hands Off Saturn campaign, shouted at us with her megaphone: “We will not stand by and watch the Republic be turned into a corp-I mean Empire by stealth!” The HOS campaign caused the Chancellor major embarrassment earlier this month when they blockaded a Galactic Economic Forum meeting on Naboo, forcing the Chancellor, along with her special guests from the powerful Windsor family, to sneak in through the back. Boyce is a Padawan of former Jedi Council chair Steve Wharton, who represents the small furry creatures of Alpha Centuri on the Senate despite being from Earth and living and working on Earth. For the record, Wharton is in no way involved with HOS. Izzy Green, self-styled Supreme Matriarch of the women-only Venus Colony, said, “Opinion polls show overwhelming opposition to the proposed changes throughout the galaxy. If the Chancellor forces them through using vacation powers, she should be removed from office!” If you can get all the non-SW references in this article, you have done well my young apprentice.

n a recent press conference, Vice Chancellor of University of Bath, Chair of the Student Loans Company, and harvester of the souls of the damned, Dame Glynis Breakwell has responded to controversy over the proposed changes to the layout of the academic calendar. “After the introduction of a consultation period, the vehemence of the opposition to the proposed term-style structure caught us all by surprise.” She said, before adopting a nasal, mocking tone and adding “wah, I’m upset about proposals that impact the quality of my degree and my mental health, wah wah wah.” She announced that the structure for the academic year would be decided by two petitions on Facebook titled: ‘Do you want the evil university to ruin your life?’ and ‘This reform will make God literally give you a high five’ so that students can have their say without the unnecessary burden of research.

JK Finally Opens Up About the Use of Drones.

fter years of denying rumours, newly elected impersonator of the people, Pres. Jordan Kenny, has finally discussed the Students’ Union’s controversial use of unmanned drones. In an official statement on Yik Yak, Mr Kenny said “We can confirm that a total number of seventeen drone strikes have been authorised by my office since the start of the academic year. Upvote for the lulz.” Libertarians across the university have been left stunned, with some claiming that that is almost double the the number that were conducted during the term of qualified northerner and canned goods enthusiast Ellie Hynes. “This is exactly what I would expect from an all-male officer team,” claimed some equality-obsessed human being,

“it’s hard enough living in Norwood as it is, without the constant fear of not seeing your officer team armed with fragmentation missiles.” Supporters of Special K have been left stunned, “now I know how the other presidential candidates’ illusive 47% feel, which is mad because that’s almost double the voter turnout,” said one drunken Klass reveller, “this just ain’t how optimistic I was feeling when JK was staggering towards me on Parade, breathing heavily and clutching his worn t-shirt.” The SU tried to lessen the political impact of the use of drones through human-litmus paper Tommy Parker’s “Drones in Leadership” conference, but the event proved unsuccessful and no one was allowed to attend.

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite facebook.com/bathimpact

Do drugs really help the creative?

usually refer to my first experience of a person probably on class A drugs as, “that one time I sort of helped save someone’s life.” I was seventeen, in Lanzarote, and still revelling at the fact that I was being served alcohol; let alone wanting anything particularly stronger. It had hit 4am, and a friend and I had decided that we couldn’t listen to another repeat of Jason Derulo’s “Wiggle” in the club. Walking home, we noticed a girl across the road acting hysterical and staring down at the sheer drop between the road and the concrete far down below. “He’s jumped”, she kept saying, eyes wide and staring. I rang an ambulance whilst my friend found out that she was his girlfriend, he was nearly thirty and they had a few kids together. We got distracted as we saw the guy trying to climb the stairs back up to our level again, during which his girlfriend ran away. However my friend and I had intended to spend the night, I’m fairly sure that physically restraining an Irish man who kept saying he wanted to jump again and die but also have more cocaine was not it. Since then, I’ve heard from numerous friends how they choose not to take drugs because they (sometimes rather smugly) “don’t need it”; but will be perfectly content with necking back drinks until they can’t walk straight. Despite the aforementioned less than ideal first experience, I’ve always seen it as just getting intoxicated one way or another; not quite smoking weed in a rasta hat whilst listening to Bob Marley or snorting cocaine out of a hooker’s arse. Is there a certain type of person, then, that is attracted to experimenting with recreational drugs? Or am I similar in any way to the guy who jumped (beyond both having terrible taste in holiday destinations)?

When I think of the most high-profile drugusers in our society, the creative types certainly spring to mind. Beyond pop-stars like Miley Cyrus “dancing with Molly”, at least five American writers who have won the Nobel Prize for Literature have been thought of as alcoholics. Hell, even Beethovan apparently drank as often as he wrote music. When doing research for this article, I expected to find a number of creative people like Aldous Huxley sing praises of the creative juice drugs might be able to give you (though I have yet to write a symphony when intoxicated). However, the quotes I found from more modern artist were far more bleak. Kurt Cobain summed this up bluntly; “drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self esteem.” "Perhaps it’s so easy to find quotes about the darkest places drug taking can go because, as a society, we find it easier to publicise drugs in the black and white categories of “legal” or “illegal” rather than consider the more complex side" Maybe we find it easier, or at least more interesting, to talk about the dramatic downfall of people. Either way, the potential mental

health consequences are tricky to ignore. Whilst taking drugs is in no way the same as signing yourself away to an asylum, perhaps mental health may be able add insight into the types of people attracted to drugs. A whopping 44% of cocaine is consumed by mental health disorder patients,and the National Bureau of Economic Reports finds a definite correlation between mental illness and the use of addictive substances. In many ways, this isn’t surprising; drugs can be a form of self-medication whilst having the potential to worsen underlying mental health conditions. However, it’s difficult to wholly trust this data as addiction itself can be considered a mental illness (as it changes the brain) and cocaine users tend not to be the easiest group to access to gain accurate data. Unsurprisingly, a great deal of research has gone into the type of personality more likely to use drugs. Traditionally, it was thought that introverts gravitated towards depressants like alcohol, whilst extroverts sought out stimulants; however, this alone is far too simplistic as both groups may abuse alcohol on similar levels. Instead, a five-factor model of personality is more fitting; including neuroticism (characterised by negative thoughts), extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness and conscientiousness. People who score high on neuroticism and agreeableness (i.e. people with a tendency to be emotionally unstable and uncooperative - fun, right?) are more likely to have problems with drugs than people nearer to the centre. However, attempting to gauge what type of drugs people are likely to use is a tad more tricky. There is some evidence that sensation-seeking, neurotic and impulsive people are more likely to use harder drugs but sensationseeking alone doesn’t always always scale with the use of hard drugs; weed smokers tend to score high in sensation-seeking but lower in neuroticism. But sensation-seeking is 60% heritable, as it’s related to your dopamine system, so I guess there’s another thing you can blame your parents for; if nothing else. Unfortunately, this data is still limited by the fact that it’s mainly taken from addicts. A drug addiction has a tendency to alter people’s personalities, at least whilst in it’s grips, it might be tricky to make wider generalisations. Cobain

GollyGForce

written by Tasha Jokic

And so, armed with this new knowledge, can I make any assumptions about that man in Lanzarote? After all, I’m a highly neurotic, creative and sensation seeking type and I’m spending my afternoon writing an article for bite. Perhaps he is the classic fit for a drug abuser, and we only temporarily stopped him from continuing down a spiral of self-destruction. Maybe it was just a bad day. I guess I’ll never know.

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite facebook.com/bathimpact

Eating on A budget food for a week for under £20 Written By William Bonnell

Br e

id a

Th u

W ed

ne s

Tu e

“A couple of students got together, and decided to help others to eat well on a tight budget. If you think you can help with a full weekly menu, or even just your favourite food, drop us a line.”

Lasagne is a great classic meal, but for me the beauty is that if you make a big batch, you can slice it into portions when cold and freeze for an emergency. You can make a Lasagne with or without the beef mince, just increase the number of onions.

The stuﬀed pepper can be put together and cooked on the Monday while cooking the Lasagne, and just warmed up on the day.

If you froze the extra portion of Lasagne, it is best to thaw out ﬁrst. Remove from the freezer in the morning and put into the fridge.

A great twist on the classic. Making use of our spare mushrooms and onions. Now the big question is ... do you put the toast on the side, and dunk it in the beans, or pour the beans over the top. Either way, its up to you Mushrooms cut into quarters make a good texture in place of meat in a stroganoff. You can serve this with your choice of rice, noodles, baked potato or even pasta, extremely versatile. The full jar of sauce will make enough for 2 or 3 large meals, so invite a friend over to help you clean it off. Most cereals are quite a healthy option, especially if you use half fat or skimmed milk. However, the minute you add a spoon of sugar, all that good intent disappears. I like to add some dried fruit to mine, which gives you the sweetness, but is actually counted as one of your five-a-day. This box of cereal will last you well over a week. A handful of fruit sprinkled over the top. I’ve planned for one ham sandwich each day, but you should have plenty of bread for a second sandwich some days. The “diamond” crisps come in 10s, so you can also have 2 packs with your lunch if you wish. You may also have cheese left over from the lasagne, so you can use this in your sandwiches if you want a change.

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact

Meal At Acorn Vegetarian Kitchen Pictures and Words by Poppy Peake

corn Vegetarian Kitchen is a homely yet sophisticated restaurant located in the centre of town close to Bath Abbey. When visiting Acorn to conduct this review several aspects of the service and food stood out for all the right reasons. Before even visiting the restaurant, when calling to make the booking, employee Mat was accommodating and a pleasure to talk to. Similarly throughout the meal the service from the waitresses was equally friendly and professional. The atmosphere was calming and very comfortable, with blankets and cushions lining the windowsills, gentle background music and soft lighting making it an ideal place for lunch on a sunny day. Clean, simple and

friendly. In order to sample as much as possible of what the vegetarian menu had to offer, we opted for the ‘small dishes’ menu – a tapas style menu consisting of dishes ranging in price from £3.95 to £6.50. We tasted 6 savoury dishes and 2 sweet, including Tamari Cashews, Herb Steamed Beetroots Tossed in Thyme oil & Dukkah, and blackcurrant sorbet. The dish of Sautéed Rosemary Potatoes was a delightful alternative to heavier carb options common in other restaurants, and accompanied the other richer dishes extremely well. The Polenta Chips with seasonal Ketchup, whilst not resembling chips in the traditional sense also went down

very well. While all of the food we tasted was delicious, the overall favourites from the lunch included the Smoked Field Mushrooms in Rich Demi Glace and the Cauliflower Fritter with Tamarind and Raisin Puree. The Field mushrooms were aromatic and seasoned to perfection, but the almost incense like flavour managed not to overpower the taste of the mushrooms, allowing you to appreciate the variety included in the dish, a bit slippery to pass over the table to share with your friends, but well worth the effort! My personal favourite was the Cauliflower Fritter with Tamarind and Raisin Puree. The balance of spice and seasoning in the fritter was excellent and created a little bit of heat that you could balance out with the raisin puree. The pairing of cauliflour, spices like cumin and the raisin puree was new, original and the flavours married together perfectly. The only downside was the portion size; I could definitely have had more! To finish we tried the Blackcurrant Sorbet, which was refreshing and flavourful, and the Saffron Poached Pear. The pear was a lovely end to the meal, being fresh and light but with a hint of luxury from the saffron, and with a bit of crunch to the topping that balanced out the textures wonderfully. Overall there was very little we could fault Acorn for, we were made to feel very comfortable and relaxed, the staff were accommodating and we cannot recommend the food enough. Even if you are not vegetarian yourself, the range of dishes and variety of flavours on the menu means you are still spoilt for choice. This little treasure is well worth a visit, for a light lunch or an evening meal out. 5 stars!

5 snazzy facts about coffee. As university students it’s pretty much a given that we are addicted to coffee, therefore I thought it’d be funky to enlighten you all with some wonderous and magnificent facts about your drug addiciton, I mean, love of coffee.

1 2

Iced coffee is more expensive because it uses more resources.

From plastic cups to napkins to double brewing (re-brewing coffee a second time to make it stronger), the resources needed for iced coffee are more numerous (and expensive!) than hot coffee is.

Drinking coffee can help you burn fat.

Studies have shown that drinking caffeine can increase your metabolism 3 to 11%. It’s one of the few chemicals that can actually help with fat burning, so might as well drink up!

4 5 roger price

Coffee can help you live a longer and healthier life.

Coffee contains lots of antioxidants (it’s the biggest source of antioxidants in an average Western diet!) that help the body fight chemicals called “free radicals.” As a result, coffee drinkers are at a lower risk of diseases such as Parkinson’s Disease, Type II Diabetes, and Heart Disease.

The first webcam in the world was made for coffee.

In 1991, a group of Cambridge University scientists set a camera on their work building’s coffee pot, streaming the footage live on the web so that they would be able to see if the pot was empty or not, saving themselves the disappointment of a coffee-less trip.

Coffee houses were banned in England because that’s where all the cool kids were drinking. In 1675 King Charles II banned coffee shops because he thought that that’s where people were meeting to conspire against him.

Monday 23rd March 2015

STREET STYLE

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact

BATH UNIVERSITY - MALE EDITION

This week, I decided to go around campus and check out some of the men. It was all for fashion reasons obviously. I swear. I noticed that the fashion tends to vary from super sporty and wearing BUCS stash from head to toe or a lovely preppy, indie look. It’s always great to see men make an eﬀort with their appearance, it highlights that fashion is a wonderful way to express oneself. Good to see lots of layering going on and mixing and matching diﬀerent textures and fabrics.

Biochemistry. Wearing ‘whatever was clean’. Gets his clothes from Next and H&M.

Chemical Engineering Likes to emulate the typical student look. Gets his clothes from TKMaxx

BBA Wearing whatever he thought looked good.’ Gets his clothes from H&M, Indonesia and Uniqlo.

Sport and Exercise Science Wearing the clothes nearest to him. Gets his clothes from Jack Wills .

Maths Wearing what was closest to him. Gets his clothes from Topman, M&S and online.

Chemistry Practical dresser. Gets his clothes from H&M.

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

Rojer

facebook.com/bathimpact

Adventures In Drug Land Written By Max Bridgehouse

ow high can you go? How low can you go? Can you take it to the top? Like you’re never gunna stop? Ah yes, the lyrics to Mr. C The Slide Man’s Cha Cha Slide, a fantastically crap song. But I am not to here to talk to you about that year 8 disco classic, I’m here to enlighten you (well, enlighten is pushing it a bit, but where’s the harm in exaggerating, right?) about the most famous drug, the one that everyone has at least tried once: WEED. We all know the downsides of weed: Schizophrenia, paranoia, laziness, a floppy dick in the bedroom (guys, come on, we’ve all had that problem one time) and bla bla bla bla. But I don’t want to focus on how weed can be bad for you because where is the fun in that? Lets talk about how being high can be one of the most funny and amazinglyidiotic experiences of your life, whether you try it once or you smoke as much as Snoop Dogg. How am I going to do this? The only way you can: personal experience. Disclaimer – for legal purposes the rest of this article is entirely fabricated, please don’t arrest me. Anyway.

Drug Use At Festivals The Elephant In The Room Written By Chris Knutsen

he taboo associated with drugs prevents sensible harm reduction policies that would reduce avoidable negative consequences and deaths. For the majority of us, there is a fundamental fascination and pleasure in changing the way one perceives the world temporarily. This is why many use drugs, be it alcohol, cannabis or countless others. Festivals, a celebration of music, art and human expression are naturally places people would choose to take these reality altering drugs. Many people will for instance choose to take a substance that puts them in an ecstatic mood, like MDMA, watching their favourite band or DJ with all of their friends. Drugs are omnipresent at festivals and in acknowledging the reality of the human obsession with altering consciousness, this seems unlikely to change. It's absurd to let people die because it feels awkward to acknowledge that drug use happens. Politicians, policy makers, festival organisers and the public at large know that drugs will be used at events, but little if anything is done about it. Accepting the facts of the matter, we need to change our focus on the issue of drugs in festivals to one of harm-reduction, making it socially and legally acceptable to change the festival infrastructure to reduce death and injury. There are a few ways to do this. One is to allow drug testing at festivals, so people can check that what they think they are taking, they are indeed taking. The lack of this facility in festivals and nightclubs around the country leads to multiple

avoidable deaths a year, with Manchester superclub The Warehouse Project trying a pilot scheme in 2014 after a clubber died taking pills that contained PMA instead of MDMA in September 2013. In the scheme, drugs seized by security were tested and clubbers could voluntarily hand in a sample to provide real-time information to the party. The test reveals whether the substance is legitimate or not, and what adulterants may be present. If adulterants are found, people are warned about the sample in question on social media as well as LED signs in the club. The basic awareness of what drugs one is taking would negate harmful side effects and help reduce accidental overdoses and fatalities. Another method would be to provide a safe, relaxing space staffed by medical professionals and volunteers for people having a bad experience on drugs to come back down to earth. People having a difficult time can be looked after until the incident blows over. This approach has been pioneered by Portugal’s BOOM festival, a country where drug possession has been partially decriminalised. The “Kosmicare” tent, centrally located, is a hub for people looking for advice about drugs and a helping hand. There has not been a drug related death at the festival since the schemes inception in 2002. With simple policies like drug education, testing and a scheme mirroring BOOM’s Kosmicare, effective, pragmatic solutions to the reality of drug use can be implemented. Society would be better if we ensured that when a young person makes one mistake, it won’t be their last.

I’m 100% sure that everyone has a “Dude! I was so stoned last night that I…” story, and I want to share some of mine to encourage those weedhaters that, really, getting high can be pretty fun. In fact, as you’ll see, it can be REALLY fun. So. Where am I taking you for this story? THE place for weed, the Mecca of marijuana, Amsterdam. Like most good stories this one starts by sitting in a park; To be precise, Vondelpark. My cousins, older brother and I, needless to say, are all pretty stoned. It looks like my fingers are moving but they really aren’t, I have a smile across my face the size of the Grand Canyon, my eyes are ridiculously red, and, obviously, I haven’t stopped laughing for about a good 20 minutes. We get up and start cycling, with the aim of going back to our hostel located three streets away, but, man, we just fucking cycled for the next two hours straight all around Amsterdam! Can you imagine! But that wasn’t the best part, the best part was what we were seeing around us that we knew wasn’t usually there: the trees were smiling at us, the sun was doing the can-can, the blue sky moving around like a waltz, the people (who all happen to be SO hot btw) were bowing to us like we were royalty. I swear to God, it was like life around us was a Disney movie and we were Aladdin riding on the magic carpet. Insane! (The editor of this paper in his humble opinion suspects this may not have been just weed) There are so many other stories I could share with you: watching Four Lions in the cinema and being on the verge of getting kicked out because of my laughing, smoking my first joint and hallucinating squares and triangles in my bedroom for an hour, so on so on. Now I’m not saying smoke weed everyday, hell I only smoke weed occasionally because moderation in life is key. But, what I will say to those who are doubtful or scared of trying a joint is this: Don’t knock until you try it. If you don’t like it afterwards then fair enough it’s not for you. However, if you go in with a positive mindset, I’m sure that you’ll have an awesome time like I did. I mean, laughing incessantly with your friends for hours and eating a shit ton of food, what’s not to like?!

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact

Music Corner Wolf Alice : Boston Written by Jessica Brough Paul Hudson

Why don’t we have more women at music festivals? Written by Jessica Brough

Wolf Alice are getting their time, though; many other deserving bands will not be so fortunate. Despite being overlooked this summer, female rockers all over the world are having a great year. Australian native Courtney Barnett has a new album coming out by the end of the month – “Sometimes I Sit and Think and Sometimes I Just Sit”. She has so far released two tracks from the album; “Pedestrian at Best” and “Depreston”. Both are lyrically constructed from seemingly mundane thoughts and experiences, as is Barnett’s style, whilst managing to sound dazzling at the same time. Alvvays (pronounced less edgily as “Always”), a ﬁve-piece Canadian indie pop/rock group with two female musicians, is an upcoming band playing out a style similar to that of the “The Drums”, with jolly jingly sounds disguising more cynical and mildly dark lyrics heard in catchy singles, “Adult Diversion”, “Archie, Marry Me” and “Next of Kin”.

Transcendent rockers, Haim, have reported that they are in the process of working on their second album – I am currently struggling to focus on anything meaningful until that comes out. Back in Blighty, Florence will be dropping a new album in June, having given us a pounding, gut-wrenching taste in the form of “What Kind of Man”. Mancunian-native, Findlay and indie rockers, Black Honey, are two other female-fronted British artists to watch out for, both having just released rousing new singles. So, you see, there really is no excuse for an excessively masculine festival line-up. Girls are picking up acoustic guitars, electric guitars, bass guitars, keyboards, drum sticks and microphones all over the English-speaking world (we haven’t even touched on less anglophone locations). To quote Boy Better Know, we need some more girls in here, because there are simply too many men taking up space on headline spots (four years headling Reading and Leeds is great, Metallica, but maybe next year we will get something a little more female and funky fresh on the coveted main stage). They may not get as much exposure, but they are out there – go ﬁnd them. Russle James Smith

However, the lack of women on the bill for upcoming British rock festivals cannot be passed off as a mythical absence of interest; you do not have to look far to see that there are plenty of ladies out there making brilliantly loud noises. Wolf Alice is one of the few bands set to shake up our rock festivals that happens to feature a woman (they are in that precious 10.4% of the R&L line up). Their debut album, “My Love is Cool”, will be released on the 22nd June and includes previous hits “Fluffy” and “Bros”, as well as the fierce newly released single, “Giant Peach”.

State side, all-female veterans, Sleater-Kinney put out their powerful eighth album, “No Cities to Love” earlier this year, followed by a popular reception and sold out gigs on their global tour. NYC indie punk rocker, Mitski, has released her third album, “Bury Me at Make Out Creek” and is currently making the rounds of the USA with her bright pink bass and no nonsense attitude. The album manages to cover most achingly relatable feelings, from parental rebellion to the need to be loved, economic woes, anger, angst and apathy. If you like punk, she is deﬁnitely one to catch when she makes enough money to tour in the UK. Alabama Shakes are also thankfully back, as are Brittany Howard’s soulful wailing vocals. Their second album, “Sound and Colour” is out in April and if the single “Don’t Wanna Fight” is anything to go by, it promises to be a more than worthy body busting follow-up to their highly successful debut. TaymTaym

he Guardian recently published an article highlighting an 89.6% male line-up at this year’s Reading and Leeds festival. The article itself left me feeling largely disillusioned by the lack of female representation in the rock scene at the moment, but my exasperation came mostly from the comments that followed. A sad number of readers suggested that this percentage cannot come as a surprise, arguing that women are simply not as interested in playing rock music or forming bands as much as men are.

wo weeks ago, I had the good fortune of catching Wolf Alice on their US tour in a tiny venue in Boston. The band is about to embark on their best season of festivals yet, with Latitude, Reading and Leeds, Bestival and Calling Festival already announced so far. Joined by her strong supporting band members, frontwoman Ellie Rowsell sang her microphone into submission as the band played out songs from their debut album, “My Love is Cool”. After hearing the first song, it becomes obvious that the four-piece have been playing together for years, not only as they ring out addictive rhythms, melodic riffs and thoughtful lyrics, but because it seems almost miraculous that they can have so much fun jerking around on stage without crashing into each other once. Particular crowd pleasers included “Mona Lisa Smile” – probably their most recognisable single – and “Bros”, which they performed after an endearing intro from bassist Theo, explaining the is song about friendship and that they are all “best mates” (naw). Wolf Alice have also just released their most recent single, “Giant Peach”, accompanied by a humorous but fitting music video, involving Robin Hood costumes and that creepy professor from Fresh Meat. Giant Peach goes from catchy rock song to impressive concoction in four and a half minutes, with bold Muse-like guitar riffs and vocals that could be straight out of a song by The Runaways. In a similar fashion to what bands like Maximo Park do so well, the track is made up of several different elements, each distinct but skillfully following a logical progression. It’s rock that, at times, borders on metal. Lyrically, Giant Peach might as well be an anthem for any twenty-something who finds themselves in some sort of limbo, be that in employment, relationships… whatever it is, we’ve all asked ourselves “what the hell keeps me here?”, which Ellie melodically murmurs in the song’s bridge to the accompaniment of a palpitating bass string. Wolf Alice have a very exciting summer coming up indeed (their festival fun extends far beyond the British Isles), but find them before that on their UK tour - they will be in Bristol on the 2nd April.

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite facebook.com/bathimpact

BUASS Holi Hai

By Photography Editor Olly Bailey

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact



Aquarius



Pisces

February 20 - March 20

Leo July 22 - August 22

April 21 - May 20

June 21 - July 21

I was meant to write your horoscope Pisces, but I got high and forgot... Would you like these Cheetos instead?

Censored...

 Taurus

 Cancer

January 21 - February 19

Okay you’re a little high and getting paranoid, just relax, this isn’t the Truman Show, your friends told you that. But then, if this was the Truman Show, that’s exactly what they  Aries March 21 - April 20 would say...

Remember, weed brownies Scorpio take longer to take effect. October 23 - November 21 August 23 - September 22 Don’t eat three while you’re waiting for the first one to take effect or it will feel like George Osbourne has ripped your knees off whilst Davey C fucks your brain’s arsehole.

Virgo

With some foil and a lighter you can make a bong out of a coke bottle. This isn’t a horoscope really, just a handy tip.

Illustrations illustrated by Charles ‘Smeg’ Jones

You’re like Danny Brown, son! Going blunt after blunt after, oh, you whitied everywhere and passed out... I guess you’re too white to be Danny Brown.

2 Chainz or not 2 Chainz, that is the question... Always 2 Chainz though, 2 Chainz ‘errday.

Dude, we should totally get more snacks.

 Libra

September 23 - October 22

If someone says “It’s a plant man, nothing natural can hurt you”, rub stingy nettles in their eyes.

 Gemini May 21 - June 20

If you get socks with cannabis leaves Capricorn on and tell all your December 22 - January 20 friends you smoke weed all the time, everyone will think you’re cool and edgy. Yeah, son! Dank.

We joke about weed, Sagittarius but be careful harder November 22 - December 21 drugs, they can dangerous. Like don’t go horsing around with ketamine, you’ll have a mare, so just say neigh.

Dont do droogs. They r nt cool my dad had 1 weed n’d now he’s a gay n lyvs in Bryton

Horoscopes writed by A bearded idiot and a Welsh fool (Jonathan Archer & Tom Gane)

Monday 23rd March 2015

bite

facebook.com/bathimpact

Crossword

Snuzzly Puzzly Zone

Bridge It!

Connect all the islands (circles) by horizontal or vertical bridges (straight lines) such that the number of bridges from each island is equal to the number inside the island, no two bridges cross, and all the islands are connected. A maximum of two bridges (drawn in parallel if required) may run between any two islands.

Nullspace Enter digits from 1–9 into the empty squares in such a way that each connected region of squares containing the same digit has area equal to that digit. Diagonals are not considered ‘connected’.

Across 9 Hunt illegally (5)

Down 1 Long narrative poem (4)

10 (in bridge) Hearts or spades (5,4) 11 Person in a work of fiction (9) 12 Private teacher (5) 13 Photograph, illustration (3) 14 As far apart (11) 17 Stupid person (5) 18 Pub providing food and accommodation (3) 19 French farewell (5) 20 Fear of open areas and public places (11) 21 Kind, sort, type (3) 22 Unit of weight; snow leopard (5) 24 Korean martial art (3,4,2) 27 Active primarily at night (9) 28 Total; make sense (3,2)

2 Italian cherry liqueur (10) 3 Flightless South American bird (4) 4 Unprofessional (10) 5 Slightly open (4) 6 Capital of Slovakia (10) 7 Parent’s sister (4) 8 Overawed by celebrity (4-6) 13 Female opera star (5,5) 14 Superfluous, inessential (10) 15 Insect that feeds on excrement (4,6) 16 Ardent devotee (10) 23 Pleasant; French city (4) 24 Be inclined; care for (4) 25 Lacking in strength (4) 26 Exclamation of surprise (at a mistake) (4)

Subdivide the grid into rectangles such that each contains precisely one numbered square and has area equal to that number.

Quick Quiz 1. Who wrote Jurassic Park and The Andromeda Strain? 2. What is the official language of San Marino? 3. Which girl group launched Channel 5? 4. Who plays Ilsa Lund in Casablanca? 5. Which Cornish landmark is known in Cornish as Karrek Loos yn Koos, or “grey rock in the wood”?

6. Interpol is headquartered in which French city? 7. In Aztec mythology, who is the god of the sun? 8. In computing, what does USB stand for? 9. Ackee and saltfish is the national dish of which Caribbean country? 10. Sabermetrics is the statistical

Solutions 17th November Arithmaster

Rectangulon

Jigsawduko

Pinwheels

Quick Quiz Answers 1. Michael Crichton 2. Italian 3. Spice Girls 4. Ingrid Bergman 5. St Michael’s Mount

6. Lyon 7. Tonatiuh 8. Universal Serial Bus 9. Jamaica 10. Baseball

Crossword Solutions Posted @ ‘bathimpact’ on Facebook; join the darkside for solutions

Puzzles created by Dorian Lidell