bathimpact Issue 10 by bathimpact

No likey?

Comment Page 6

Nom nom nom

Eccentric morons

bite Page 8-9

bite Page 19

bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Monday 14th March 2011

www.bathimpact.com

Sam Short

Volume 12 Issue 10

Inside bathimpact

RAG week success In News this week, bathimpact reports on the success of last week’s fundraising week organised by RAG. With several events ranging from Speed Dating to beer chugging, much fun was had by all and for a very worthy cause. To read this article and to see fabulous photos of sabbs being gunged, flick to Page 4

Changes coming to student visas

11,000 run 30th Bath Half Gina Reay Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com

he annual Bath Half Marathon took place last Sunday (6th March) and was, once again, a spectacular success. Over 11,000 runners took to the streets of Bath to jog the 13.1 mile course. It was a very special occasion as Bath’s wellknown race celebrated its 30th birthday on the day. As always, hundreds of Bath students took part in the exhausting journey, raising money for various well-deserved charities. The streets of Bath were shut off to traffic and thousands of supporters lined the pavements, cheering friends, family and complete strangers through the race, motivating them to keep running. bathimpact Reporter, Jack Penrose, was amongst the Half Marathonists, he said of the experience: “[It was] absolutely amazing, such a special experience. The crowd got right behind everyone and the atmosphere was phenomenal. It hurt, but was so worth it, I’ll definitely be back next year!”

Bath’s Half Marathon was won this year by 22-year-old Edwin Kipkorir who finished the 13 mile course with a time of just 64 minutes. He was followed by Kenyan-born runners Zachary Kihara and Gordon Mugi in second and third place respectively. However, not all Half Marathoners were elite professionals, thousands of people from all over the country chose to complete the 13.1 miles for many different reasons. The annual running competition has become a key event in the fundraising calendar and it is expected that the 2011 event will have raised over £1.5 million, beating last year’s achievement of £1.4 million. Among the amateurs were Bath University Students’ Union’s sabbatical team who ran the course to raise money for Dorothy House Hospice Care. The competitive natures of the Sabbs were quickly established as people began speculating about what order the Sabbs would finish in and who had done the most training. Our SU President Daniel ‘dot’ O’Toole finished first out of the five-strong team (James Huelin was unable to

run due to a knee injury) with a time of 1 hour 48 minutes. Although not his Personal Best, Daniel was happy to be the ‘fastest sabb in Bath’ for the second year running. As well as our well-known sabbs, the race was also completed by some other minor celebrities. Fearne Cotton ran the Half Marathon to raise money for breast cancer charity ‘Coppafeel’ and encouraged runners to dress up as giant boobies for the cause. bathimpact attempted to count the number of knockers running past but lost count at 32, the official number is said to be over 100. The Radio 1 DJ and TV Presenter admitted that it was her first Half Marathon, adding that she couldn’t have done it without the amazing spectator support that motivated her throughout. Other inventive costumes included a two-person camel suit, speedos, various cartoon characters (Woody and Dangermouse were bathimpact’s favourites), Hula-hula and Flamenco dancers, bees, dinosaurs and crocodiles. Some very brave contestants even decided to do the

marathon wearing backpacks full of weights in them, just to add a little bit more difficulty to the 13 mile track. Hamish Keene, a Final Year student at the University of Bath, ran the Half Marathon to raise money for Help for Heroes with 7kg worth of weights on his back. Hamish told bathimpact: “I wanted to raise both awareness and money for our wounded men and women who need all the help they deserve to get their lives back on track after coming home from operations with life altering injuries. It felt absolutely amazing to complete it and I hope to do more for them in the future as I only raised 400 quid for them this time. I’m thinking of going bigger one year and maybe doing the London Marathon with the same weight (but not for a while yet!)” Hamish was among many Bath students who felt passionate about the charities they supported. If you have a friend or relative who ran the Bath Half, don’t forget you can still sponsor them for their achievement. Also, why not start training for next year? There’s no time like the present!

In International this week, contributor Feli Bran reports on the shocking changes to international student visas. With 23% of Bath students coming from abroad, the news is going to affect many. To read the full piece on these dramatic changes urn to page 12 of International

Wind of change Benjamin Lane and Sam Lewtas report in Science this fortnight about the construction of a wind turbine by some volunteers that they hope will be installed on campus in the future. For this and other scientific masterpieces turn to page 14

BUCS 2011 In Sport this issue, Sports Editor Joe Dibben gives you a round-up on what’s coming up at BUCS 2011 that kicks off in Sheffield this week. Don’t forget to find out what to look out for at the biggest University sporting event of the year!

For this and other Sporty pieces flick to page 27

Monday 14th March 2011

Editorials

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Editorial Team: Editor-in-Chief Gina Reay editor@bathimpact.com Deputy Editor Hannah Raymont deputy@bathimpact.com Chief Sub-Editor Sam Foxman subeditor@bathimpact.com News Katie Rocker news@bathimpact.com Comment David James opinion@bathimpact.com International Julia Lipowiecka international@bathimpact.com Science Sam Lewtas science@bathimpact.com Sport Joe Dibben sport@bathimpact.com

bite Caroline Leach features@bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie ents@bathimpact.com Publicity Officer Julia Lipowiecka publicity@bathimpact.com Treasurer Rebecca Stagg treasurer@bathimpact.com IT Officer Jack Franklin it@bathimpact.com Secretary Nick Hill secretary@bathimpact.com Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

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The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.

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The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Charity begins on campus

iven the financial situation of most students, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the act of giving money to charity would not be a common one on campus. This past week the University of Bath RAG team would have proved you wrong. They’ve spent months organising activities with the express idea of getting you guys to part with your cash. From a Bierkeller to Speed Dating, via an Arts Variety Show this amazing collection of events has showcased not only the organisational talent of our RAG team but also the generosity of our student body. Even our Sabbatical Team has been getting involved, further demonstrating the Union’s commitment to supporting charity. Five of them ran the Bath Half, aiming to raise £5,000 for Dorothy House, a local charity which offers palliative care to patients with life-threatening illnesses and their families. It is certainly worth a few hours of blisters and tired muscles to help such a deserv-

ing cause. The Sabbs didn’t stop there, in a supreme act of selflessness they allowed themselves to be gunged on Parade, giving us all a welcome flashback to our childhood viewings of Get Your Own Back and of course encouraging you to part with some pennies for the privilege of witnessing it. More than just RAG week events are covered in news. The coming weeks feature the annual Fashion at Bath catwalk show (on 16th March). This marries beautiful clothes with more gifts for local charities. Again this event is completely organised by students at our University supported by our Students’ Union. RAG has been a tradition of student communities for as long as 150 years, and as the scale of the tradition has grown, so has the money raised. Last year our RAG team raised a phenomenal £35, 000 for charities both local and national and they’re hoping to beat that total this time around. This incredible amount throws a bucket

of gunge in the face of those who claim that students are self-centred, spoilt teenagers who live in their own little world. Whilst it’s true that our campus can become a bit of a bubble, obviously students are aware of the hardships found across the world and locally. This awareness and particularly RAG’s support of charities like Dorothy House really helps the University and the Students’ Union in its relations with Bath’s council as it shows that Bath students aren’t just here to get a degree. We want to become part of the community and work alongside those who live in the city that has become our home. Hundreds of students took part in the Bath Half, many running for charities either personally linked to them or because they felt they were a worthy cause. Thousands of pounds must have been raised through this endeavour which again shows how willing students are to get involved in an enterprise they believe in.

n a society where youth unemployment is verging on 20%, many final years at Bath are beginning to worry. The main worry in everyone’s head is: how am I any different to the other 300,000 2011 graduates venturing into the great British job market. The answer for many of these worrying finalists is, through setting yourself apart from the rest. There may be on average 70 applicants for every graduate vacancy but don’t write yourself off as an inevitable shelf stacker just yet. The key to success is extra curricular involvement and where better to adopt a helpful hobby, constructive craft or opportune obsession than at the University of Bath. Joining a club or society at Bath can be the first step. Most students forget that you don’t have to be a fresher to get involved in things. Final years in need of a CV boost should seriously consider browsing the numerous opportunities available. Employers have recently expressed firm views that extra curricular activities can often be the deciding factor when looking to fill a position. If there are 200 soon-to-be graduates applying for one job, who all have a 2:1 on similar courses at similar

universities, the person surveying your accomplishments is going to look for what more you can offer. What does this person do AS WELL AS the 10-15 hours of lectures per week? How passionate is this person about the field in which they have studied or want to go into? No matter which subject you take, there are things you can be doing to further your chances of being recruited after graduation. Take business for example, The University of Bath’s Management Society are presenting an opportunity for students to share their own individual business ideas, with the chance of winning a year’s supply of chocolate. Not only is this a chance to work on your presentation and pitching skills, such an event can make you stand out from the hoards of other graduates looking for work. Another example for the entrepreneurs among you is the successful ‘FroYo’ boys who won a competition led by the enterprise club BANTER, to get their ethical, eco-friendly yogurt into major chain stores such as Sainsbury’s. BANTER runs similar competitions each year and activities such as these put you one hundred steps ahead in the recruitment process.

In this issue of bathimpact, science boasts a perfect example. Benjamin Lane and a team of engineering students have spent two weekends constructing a wind turbine that will eventually be installed on campus. The students obviously have an extended interested in their field of study, enough to have thought up the ambitious construction of this object and what is more, the build was completed in their free time. The student stereotype often dictates a boozed up teenager lying in bed all day watching movies and then parting until the early hours. While this is often the case, students are becoming more and more aware of increased competition in the job market. A degree is no longer enough, and whilst Benjamin and the team are obviously passionate about their idea, adding their project to a growing CV will a very valuable attribute for postgraduation survival. So many students also underestimate how easy it is to get involved in Student Media and how good these activities look on a CV. Whether it be writing articles for bathimpact, editing video footage for Ctv or presenting a radio show for 1449am URB, media contribution is so easy to do, yet not

Because students are a fairly transient group - constantly coming and going from the city - proper locals in student towns can develop resentment and even animosity to the hordes of strangers who don’t have a huge link to the communities that they live and work in. The work that various groups do to bridge this gap, allow students to get behind local charities and tie the University and its campus to the town’s population. Rather than being seen simply as a bunch of feckless students the University of Bath and its denizens get to actually contribute to how this town works in the long term. The tired old argument between ‘town vs gown’ should be more and more on the wane if events such as this continue to be succesful. So if ever again someone starts moaning to you about how students are incapable of thinking of anyone but themselves, just direct them to the RAG website (bathrag. com) and show them how wrong they are.

A degree is no longer enough I

enough students choose to indulge and explore the delights of these three groups. Getting involved at an amateur level often leads to more and more commitment, plus committees and teams are always in need to be filled and having a nice shiny position like ‘Chief Sub-Editor’ or ‘Station Manager’ to put on your email signature will certainly impress potential employers. What’s more, the world of extra curricular is such a fabulous way to socialise and make friends. Many students find it hard to adopt a reliable social group at University and extra curricular activities can construct a close group of friends who meet regularly and have similar interests and passions. So for any final year students who are stressing about their future and a rather empty-looking Curriculum Vitae. Write bathimpact an article, invent something exciting or simply join one of the 84 varied societies and further your interests this way. In a world where so many well-achieving students are signing on the dole, extra curricular activities could certainly improve your chances of being excluded from these increasingly tragic and depressing youth unemployment figures.

Monday 14th March 2011

bathimpact

News

www.bathimpact.com

Don’t forget about the census! Race is on for 2011’s (It could cost you £1000) sabbatical team Kylie Barton bathimpact reporter

n 8th March the Royal Mail underwent the biggest distribution task in its history with the 2011 census. For many students, filling in the census will be a new experience, and may be something that little is known about. This year’s census will be the 21st of its kind since the first of 1801. The census is a large scale government survey used to estimate the population. It is carried out by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) to help determine government spending for areas such as transport, housing, healthcare and education. The United Nations and the European Union encourage such large scale research, and the UK is one of very many countries worldwide who carry out a census. Questions asked will focus on work, national identity, citizenship, ethnicity, education, language and marital status. For the second time in history, a question

on religion will be put forward (Jedi was declared the fourth largest religion in the UK after the introduction of the question in 2001), which is the only voluntary question. Information gathered will be kept confidential for 100 years and not shared with government departments. This year’s census has used new media to promote itself. For the first time respondents will be able to complete the form online using the individual code from their paper copy. The ONS have also used social networks such as Twit-

Jedi was declared the 4th largest religion in the UK after the 2001 census ter and Facebook to advertise the process to younger, or more technically literate, citizens. They have even gone as far to introduce ‘Census-Man’ – an online ‘superhero’ created to help spread the word. For university students there

are also added incentives to get involved. There are volunteer opportunities with the ONS which would be great to add to your CV and could help develop campaign experience and project management. Such volunteering opportunities could lead to internships – perhaps even placement years – with ONS. The 2011 census is making special arrangements for universities and other communal living establishments (halls). If you currently live in halls the website states: ‘you are likely to be given an individual questionnaire by an (estates) manager’. Additionally, if your first language is not English you can download a translation booklet from the official census website. This year ‘census day’ is on 27th March; the mailing process began on 8th March. If you haven’t received a copy of the questionnaire by that date, go online and request one at www.2011.census.gov.uk to avoid the possibility of £1000 fine and a criminal record – the census is not voluntary, it is a legal requirement – even for Jedis.

Fashion comes to Bath F

ashion is coming to Bath. Two major fashion events will be descending on Bath over the coming weeks. The first of these, Fashion at Bath, is run in aid of Sue Ryder, a charitable organisation providing homecare, end of life care, and long-term care in communities across the United Kingdom. Once again, it is being held in the stunning Assembly Rooms. Several University groups will be involved, including Bodysoc and the Breakdancing Society, who will perform between the different sections of the event, while Gravity Vomit will be juggling fire outside the building. The models are all students in Bath, while all the designers and labels have a Bath presence. The second series of events occurs between 23rd and 27th March. Talks such as ‘the frocks, the fantasies, the facts’ and ‘behind the seams’ will divulge the inner workings of the industry, while the urban style street show and catwalks for the Spring and Summer collection speak on a more visual level. Although most of the workshops include an ad-

mission fee, the price is fairly reasonable, considering the drinks, snacks, and class you can experience. Prices are usually between £10 and £40. For the exact names, dates, times, directions, and prices of these events, go to www.bathinfashion.co.uk, or pick up a brochure from the tourist information centre. You can buy tickets over the counter, via their website, or via 0844 847 5256. Fashion at Bath 2011 is, in es-

sence, special because it is being held in Bath. This is partly due to their sponsor Banana Republic, who have just opened a new store in town, but mainly thanks to the city’s heritage. Bath provides an idealistic backdrop for models wearing this year’s designer products.and many of the events, such as ‘Fashion and Fizz’, are unique to Bath. Perhaps this is why, according to the brochure, the audience can ‘expect the unexpected’. Photo: Emerson - emersonv.com

William Wan bathimpact reporter

Stunning outfits and a stunning backdrop

Sam Foxman bathimpact reporter

ominations for 2011’s sabbatical elections close on Tuesday 15th March. From Friday 18th candidates for the five positions will begin vying for the affections of the student body, with polling opening for one week online from Monday 21st. During the sabbatical elections the University relaxes strict rules on the use of campus, and the resulting explosion of posters, banners and t-shirts radically changes the atmosphere. In the past, can-

Candidates in last year’s election for six sabbatical positions

didates have attempted to win votes through gimmicks such as songs, a go-kart on the parade and, surprisingly effectively, a paper suit. Students should also be prepared for routine lecture invasions and abuses of blackboards, mainstay techniques of previous campaigns. There will be questions to candidates on Monday 21st and Tuesday 22nd, where all students have an opportunity to question the candidates for different positions. Manifestos for all candidates will be published online and on boards in the library foyer and the Stu-

dent Centre. As both members of the Union’s management and trustee board, the sabbatical team form the core of decision-making within the Union. Whilst many candidates are final-year students planning to stay on, each year sees a number

27%

Turnout in last year’s sabb elections

of students seeking to take a year out of their studies. Following the results of the recent referendum, this year will be the first elections in five years to feature only five positions. Last year under the old system of six sabbs 19 candidates stood, with no position left uncontested. With fewer positions the number of candidates is likely to decrease, but it is hoped the level of competition will remain high. Elections Committee, which oversee the entire process, are seeking an even higher voter turnout this year. The Union already scores above the national average in turnout, with a respectable 27% last year, but the committee is seeking to break 30%. All students registered on any course are eligible to both stand and vote. Look out for a special edition of bathimpact to guide you through the elections, with full details of all candidates running out on Friday 18th.

Print prices T

he cost of printing off your hard work (or just lecture slides) in the library is now even cheaper thanks to a revised price list, brought in a few weeks into this semester. From the beginning of March, prices have been reduced after the adoption of the new Managed Print Service. This is being rolled out across University in an aim to make campus more cost and energy efficient. The Library was one of the first University departments to adopt the solution, but it is hoped that it will continue to other departments as well as the University aims to meet its ‘green’ targets. Single sided A4 will cost the same as before, but double sided is 1p cheaper, at only 8p a sheet. A3, both single and double sided,

has reduced in costs, while there are greater reductions for colour printing: A4 is down to 20p (from 25p) and 26p (from 47p), while A3 prices are down to 35p and 66p from 50p and 97p. With both lower prices and an improvement for the environment, this is a win for both the Library and the students.

Photo Credit In our last issue we published a photograph of the Christian Union flashmob. Unfortunately no credit was given to the photographer. Thanks to James Smith for taking the photo and passing it on to bathimpact, and apologies for failing to credit you in the original photo.

Monday 14th March 2011

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News

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rganised by Gravity Vomit, the University’s Juggling and Circus Skills society, Bath UpChuck is a one day juggling and circus skills convention. Now in its third year, UpChuck 2011 was bigger than ever! Over 400 jugglers, spinners and object manipulators descended upon t h e Founders Hall for a chance to learn new skills, show off great tricks, and see an incredible show. With four hours of workshops, everyone had a chance to try out juggling, diabolo, poi and hula hooping, as well as the more unusual workshops in pole fitness, first aid, and slow motion filming. Complete beginners left able to juggle three balls, all thanks to the amazing workshops led by Gravity Vomit members, while seasoned pros swapped tricks with fellow en-

thusiasts. The afternoon games were extremely entertaining, particularly for those watching. Sponge-on-thehead gladiators and unicycle hoopla were new additions that caused great amusement, culminating in the traditional ‘3-club gladiator’. With a sell-out show in the evening, 350 keen spectators prepared themselves for a night of world class entertainment. Widely regarded as the ‘best one-day convention show’ by many attendees, the acts included a fantastic glow club routine from The Light Fantastic, a belly dancing hoop routine, and what can o n l y be described as pure sorcery from Chris Brown – The Crystal Wizard. Performing the world premiere of their new act, the Gandinettes mesmerised everyone with spectacular club passing as a fantastic end to the first half of the show. Not to be outdone by the female quartet, Magic Sam (the compere) performed his disappearing bandana trick, with a banana. Maintaining the standard of acts, Folkert took to the stage with a diabolo performance. At the age of 15, this his performance was very well received. As a finale to the show, The Green Eyed Zero took to the stage for a magical routine of club passing and book manipulation. During the interval RAG were busy providing jugglers with much needed cake, making an estimated

£150. Bath UpChuck 2011 was run by a team of 25 student volunteers, with help from ICIA and funding from Relays (Regional Educational Legacy in Arts and Youth Sport). Bath LINKS, PoleSoc and RAG also helped to make it a truly unforgettable day. Be sure to come along n e x t year for Bath UpChuck 2012. Gravity Vomit are already looking for people to run n e x t year’s UpChuck, and hopefully make it better than ever, and of course are always looking for new members. If you’re interested, contact the current Chair, Scott Burfiend, at sb423@bath. ac.uk

RAG Week 2011

Photo: Kenny Lim

Scott Burfiend Gravity Vomit Chair

Photo: Andrew Chinery

UpChuck a success

Watching a diaboloist in amazement (and jealousy)

Webfail crisis M ost students are probably aware of the recent disruption to email serv-

ices. After over a week without access to historical emails, services are now back to normal. However, there is a risk that some emails may not have been received. “There are some emails that were sent between Sunday 20th and Thursday 24th February that were corrupted beyond recovery. This averages five emails per person.” The advice given by BUCS (Bath University Computing Services) is that if you believe a specific email is missing, contact the sender and ask them to sent it again. The problem was caused by “the simultaneous failure of components in both the main and back up email servers.”

New email storage equipment is being purchased and will hopefully be in place by the end of March. This will allow the University to return to having both a main and back-up email server. BUCS praised the hard work of staff, who have understandably been under pressure from students and staff alike to get the service up and running again. “Many BUCS staff have worked extremely hard during this disruption giving up their nights and weekends to return as much of the service as possible in a quick timeframe.” Some emails may have been returned to the inbox, rather than the folders they have been previously moved to - if an email contains important information, check if it is still available in the expected folder before deleting it.

Gina Reay Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com

Sam Short

AG Week 2011 took place last week with a number of events on campus to raise money for Dorothy House Hospice Care. The week kicked off with the traditional Bierkeller event in Elements on Monday where students were given the chance to chug beer and do funny dances to German music performed by a band of Lederhosen wearing musicians, all in the name of fundraising. Throughout the rest of the week students enjoyed a Mega Quiz, Silent Disco, Arts Variety Show and (bathimpact’s personal favourite) the annual Gunk-a-Sabb on Parade. The Sabbs were individually covered in gunge made up of a mixture of curry, mushy peas and other delightful substances. The exact amount raised will be released shortly. In 2010, RAG week raised £3,500 which was three times the amount raised in 2009. Let’s hope for a similar amount this year too!

Our SU President Daniel ‘Dot’ O’Toole mid-gunging

Many students were left frustrated at the recent webfail crisis

Monday 14th March 2011

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Comment

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No likey, no lighty! bathimpact contributor Jack Penrose explains the best way to get rinsed on telly

truggling to find the love of your life in the insular Uni society? Well, why not sign yourself up for humiliation on national TV? That’s right, dating just got a whole lot simpler. Take Me Out has come to our screens, not just to revolutionise the dating world, but also to provide plenty of laugh-out-loud moments from both the contestants, and revitalised comic Paddy McGuinness. The rules are simple; there are 30 girls all with their lights on, one man enters the room to his own choice of music, says his name and where he is from. The second round is a video explaining more about the single man, and the third round is either a hidden talent, or a video

3.9m

people, on average, tune in to watch Take Me Out each week

of someone else talking about the singleton. Throughout these three rounds, the ladies can turn their lights off, or keep them on. At the end, the single man then gains the power, and must narrow it down to

just two lucky ladies, and then finally choose one, where they spend a day in the magical Isle of Fernando’s (believed to be Tenerife). Should all the girls’ lights go out, then that is known as a blackout, and the contestant is forced to leave the show to the tune of All By Myself. It’s simply brilliant, a wonderful guilty pleasure. It’s mindlessly entertaining, and it’s very enjoyable in a “so-bad-it’s-good” kind of way. A friend of mine recently said “normal people don’t get picked for these shows”, and by God, she was right. There’s a Schadenfreudeesque element to laughing at the freak-shows that are wheeled out in front of the harpies of Take Me Out. Whether it is one guy’s talent being that he looks a little bit like Thierry Henry when he dresses in a football shirt (not playing football, an actual talent, but looking like a footballer!) or another mild-mannered shyguy dressing up in drag and experiencing an unsurprising blackout. There’s also plenty of humour from some of the more (for lack of a better word) desperate female contestants. Take Lucy and Jojo, for ex-

“Let the fish, see the tackle” ample, who are always, last to turn out their lights, and would have on their Facebook page “Looking for: Whatever I can get”. If that doesn’t get you going, then the priceless quotes from Bolton’s finest Paddy McGuinness almost certainly will: “No likey, no lighty”, “Let the belly see the button” and my personal favourite, “These ladies are relying on me, the Landlord of Love, to pull them a pint of real male.” If you are fortunate enough to be in a relationship, but things aren’t

going so swimmingly, perhaps you could take the plunge into E4’s Tool Academy – where terrible boyfriends are put to the test to repair their Tool-ish ways to impress their girlfriends and win £25,000. This is equally as entertaining a show as Take Me Out, but is even better when considered as a sociological experiment. Some of the Tools aren’t nearly as Tool-ish as their girlfriends: one contestant put her boyfriend up for Tool Academy because “he’s a bit gay and needs

to man up” (maybe dump him, instead of ridicule him?). Another contestant admitted to reading her Tool’s phone messages, and whined and moaned all day about being unable to do anything (again, who’s the Tool in that relationship?). It’s delightfully funny, not least to watch the genuine Tools on the program totally screw themselves over, such as Liam, who cheated on his girlfriend on camera, only to live to regret the decision as she was shown the footage later on in the series. Sometimes they expel the wrong tool, and expulsion seems to rely on the whims of irritating presenter Rick Edwards, who is almost as annoying a presenter as Alex Zane. It is, however, worth watching for such priceless quotes as, “I thought everyone would like to play football, cos all blokes like football – unless they’re gay”. Outstanding. The point is this: it has become clear that if you do find yourself alone at night, wanting somebody there beside you – it could be worse. You could be ridiculed on ITV for failing to impress 30 single and desperate women, or be ridiculed on E4 for being “just a Tool”.

Binge Britain? Hardly.

People ‘large-ing it up’ and going out ‘on the lash’ are becoming few and far between Hannah Raymont Deputy Editor deputy@bathimpact.com

licking through the almost apocalyptic pages of the free daily Metro newspaper on the way to campus, you could be forgiven for thinking that Britain is a Boschian nightmare of a nation, populated with booze-addled thugs, mad-axe murderers and is, more or less, on the verge of a complete meltdown. Purely for the purposes of remaining (mostly) sane, I prefer a less pessimistic point of view and there is now good reason for us to feel a little bit better about the nation’s health, because Brits are actually drinking, no, wait for it, less alcohol than before. I may have seemed a little bit of a whiny old bag in another Comment piece about Britain’s drinking and

clubbing culture in a previous issue of bathimpact, but this was mostly about how, all too often, nights out in this country are both unreasonably expensive and depressingly disappointing (but, as with most

“

Binge drinking has become a gradually dying beast

”

celebrations, whether you have fun or not depends a lot more on who you are with rather than where you go). If you are to believe all that you read in the press (and have ever had a foreigner remark, “ Oh, you have a big binge drinking problem there don’t you?” upon telling them you are British or have been

On average, 40% of all drinking occasions in the UK are a binge a student at a British university), Britain is, unfortunately, still synonymous with binge drinking, but the latest findings confirm this to be a gradually dying beast. In addition, binge drinking did not ever become so bad in Britain as to warrant a system where only authorised shops, separate from supermarkets can sell alcohol above a certain percentage, as in Sweden (with their not-for-profit System-

bolaget shops). In Britain, recent economic trends, as well as the loss of an ample disposable income for many, goes some way in explaining why people are spending less time catching up with friends over a pint down their local pub than in the past. In fact, pubs, a once stalwart mainstay of British culture where you can equally sit down for a relatively inexpensive hearty meal as

you can for a sip of a local cider or ale, are buckling under significant pressure to drastically drive down their prices from huge supermarket giants who can stack ’em high and sell ’em cheap. Thus, the caricature of the typical British drinker has morphed from lager lout living in his local to girls giggling on the sofa at home clutching glasses of Pinot Grigio (or, heaven forbid, über-cheap (and nasty) Lambrini). Instead of hitting the town straight away in search of alcohol, we are taking advantage of the tantalisingly cheap bulk-buy offers at the supermarket to sufficiently supply so-called ‘pre-lash’ activities, but does the prospect of competitively priced alcohol within easy reach not fuel binge-drinking even further? Continued on Page 7

Monday 14th March 2011

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The Far East Building bathimpact Contributor Ella Vader begs the question: What were they thinking!?

ecently it was reported that the Scottish government has had to shell out just over £8.5m to the companies that operate Her Majesty’s prisons because it has locked up a few too many guilty people and caused major overcrowding. A substantial problem for those existing prisoners who now have to share beds (as well as the soap), but thankfully the University of Bath Department of Estates has provided a solution to Scotland’s woes. Following planning consent in June 2009, the construction of the new East Building (dubbed the Far

£17.5m

Approximate construction cost of the new building

East Building) located between the STV and East car park is nearing completion. After a recent flyby inspection I can confirm that it is the ideal place to stow the country’s surplus prisoners. They might, however, find it slightly more luxurious than the regular Wormwood scrubs. Whilst the new grand lecture theatre (with a capacity greater than that of University Hall) is impressive, beyond the entrance foyer the metallicthread fencing along the wall-to-wall balconies, the central staircase and the uncovered iron girders complete the prison ‘theme’. All that’s needed to complete the transformation from University building to detention centre is some Reliance vans parked alongside and communal showers.

Continued from page 6 Not so, it seems. In spite of the alarmist headlines being bandied about, a marked reduction in overall alcohol intake in Britain has been documented since 2002. What is even more surprising is that it is young people, who have constantly been tarred with the same brush as the stumbling and mumbling vomit-soaked disgraces you see paraded in the press, who are leading the way and consuming fewer units than their predecessors. It is a tragic shame that the national media continue to paint the nation’s youth as the binge drinkers de force, when it is evident that they are in fact shunning the booze in favour of a healthier lifestyle. Given the numbers of blue-and-yellow clad students treading the Parade in our (admittedly) particularly sporty and health-con-

HM Prison Preston

The expanded corridor within the new Far East building

scious university, the crude depiction of a typical young British drinker as a ‘paralytic’ mess curled up on the pavement seems tremendously exaggerated and above all, increasingly misinformed. In fact, I recently read

“

The British lager lout has morphed to girls clutching glasses of Pinot Grigio

”

an article featuring a discussion with young British ‘teetotallers’ about why they had chosen to completely give up alcohol or were just turned off by it. Although the fact that they were teetotallers was still seen, by all accounts, to be rather ‘odd,’ it signifies a growing trend. I can even count teetotallers amongst my most socia-

ble friends; apparently some lucky folk don’t need drink to loosen up and have a good time. Despite pressure from the drinks industry, a policy of minimum pricing on alcohol is still favoured by significantly vocal groups. If the lobbyists concerned get their way and drinks prices are destined to slope ever upwards, it seems that Brits will continue to look for other ways to relax than through temporarily dehydrating themselves. However, I still maintain that we should try to keep the British social tradition of huddling over a pint and a bowl of chips with your mates alive, because nothing beats a comfortingly cool, well-earned glass of Coke/cider/lager/whatever after a week of toiling at your studies and extra-curricular activities. Teetotaller or not, you deserve to relax. See you at Happy Hour?

Yet whilst the ground floor will house further lecture theatres and computer suites, the two upper floors provide thousands of square footage for Computer Science offices, complete with private box-like offices for the department’s ‘big-dogs’. However when kitting out the lecture theatres, money it seems was no object. Lecture theatres as small as 15ft x 13ft (approximately half the size of Fresh Oriental) are equipped with tens-of-thousands of pounds worth of blue-ray players, touch screens and interactive white boards. Very high-tech, but two separate projectors are quite redundant in a room that can, at maximum, hold a class of 15. In fact an additional generator has had to be placed adjacent to the building (the structure that’s neatly covered in half of the Amazon) to power its electronic instruments. After exiting lectures, students can easily make their way from the new building, along the side of the running track, to the STV and Blues Café, which the University will hope gains in revenue from this newlycreated access. That said, please don’t assume everyone can make it to lectures. If you use a wheelchair, the disability-friendly doors open straight onto a flight of stairs. If you were thinking of using a lift, best bring a map & compass because, unusually, it’s very well hidden. So if I had to sum up this building in a word (or seven), I would use: Appalling. Hideous. Beastly. Horrid. Awful. Uninviting. Unsightly. However perhaps the most appropriate word is: unhelpful. Whilst over-crowding costs Alex Salmon MSP just £8.5m, the Far East building cost a vast £17.5 (over four times that of the new Student Centre). So if it’s too expensive to house prisoners, I suppose it can house the next best thing, the Computer Science department.

Monday 14th March 2011

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Well you gotta have faith

bathimpact contributor Jordan Clark responds to ‘How can you believe’

n today’s society we must accept that religion exists. In 2001, The Office of National Statistics revealed that 41m people in Great Britain are Christian, 1.6m are Muslim and over half a million are Hindu - and we’re only talking about three religions! There are also, of course, the less well known religious group like the Spiritualists, the Wiccans and the Rastafarians. With this knowledge, it is difficult to challenge the idea of ‘faith’ being non-existent; bearing in mind that it is exhibited by such a high proportion of not only the population of Great Britain, but of

41,000,000

The number of Christians in Great Britain

the world. Religion itself is a personal choice that can be made at any

point in a person’s life. For most, religion is not just prayer or contemplation, but it is a way of life and beacon of hope in times of suffering or difficulty. Religions and beliefs can direct day-to-day living and whilst some choose to dedicate many hours of their lives to practicing their religious beliefs, it is also alright for other people to choose to spend less time doing so. Religion also plays a part in the moral development and maintenance of our society. From various religions across the world we can gain a greater understanding of the planet and can work on improving the relationships between people from different cultures and backgrounds. Think, for example, how many Christian people there are in the world. The magic of religion is that it can bring this many people together with common goals, beliefs and practices. If everyone believed in nothing, the world could fall into complete

chaos. The fact that so many people live by rules governing good, well-mannered, thoughtful behav-

“

If everyone believed in nothing, the world could fall into complete chaos

”

iour (inspiring concepts of charity and forgiveness) gives us a stable ground for humanity to build and grow upon. True, not everyone follows this way of life, but the vast majority of us can do so and do try to. Even if they are not following a particular religion, people can subconsciously incorporate religious ideas, practices and values into their lives. Of course many religious beliefs revolve around the existence of a deity, and this causes instantaneous resistance in non-believers.

SU preempt

They think that such a being (or beings) cannot possibly exist, but the fact is that science has not, and perhaps cannot, prove or disprove this theory. Perhaps the world was not created in seven days, and perhaps the gods don’t make a daily appearance in our lives, but clearly there is something out there that unites so many complete strangers; bringing them together to celebrate their beliefs and their faith. Yes, with the day to day discoveries made by scientists around the world (being a science student myself I am very much aware of these) it may be difficult to understand where a deity or a divine being or spiritual belief can fit into it all. We should remember, however, that we’re still only scratching the surface of science, so who are we to dismiss what else might be out there, watching over us? So many ‘coincidences’ came together in the creation and development of this earth; why is it so difficult to believe

that something out there could have been directing it all, making sure that we came to exist and flourish? This could also explain the apparent scientific miracles- for instance the common honeybee. After all, the honey bee theoretically shouldn’t be able to fly... so how do

“

We should remember that we’re still only scratching the surface of science

”

they do it? For the agnostics out there it might be wise to, instead of totally dismissing the concept of religion as ridiculous and impossible, accept that maybe they are missing out on something quite beautiful and mysterious, which, no matter how hard we try, we may never fully understand.

criticism

Many students have recently been speculating about the disappearance of our SU club night Theory. The Sabbatical team have spoken exclusively to bathimpact to give their side of the story on the decline of their Friday night

he decision was taken to stop running Theory due to poor attendance. We believe there are a combination of reasons for this. Due to the rush to finish the Student Centre before the start of the academic year, many hands were on deck getting this project complete. We had many snagging problems within the first few weeks of term where things such as lighting, sound, furniture and the general layout were not how we would have hoped for. This had an effect on the club’s atmosphere and the student experience at a crucial point, where student trends and patterns are made for the rest of the year. With a 1,200 capacity club we have many opportunities and prospects. This said, when it is not at full capacity and with the current layout, it can feel sparse. Most clubs in town have a much lower capacity and therefore can seem busier with a lot fewer people in them.

Having recently undertaken a lifestyle survey, the evidence has shown that students are not going out as much as they used to. The majority only seem to go to clubs once or twice a week. Therefore, we appreciate running two consecutive nights at the same venue has had its problems. We strive to bring the best acts to campus that students want to see, however, with big acts comes high financial risk. We understand money is always an issue for students and therefore we want to keep ticket prices as low as possible. Ticket sales need to roughly cover the cost of the acts. If we were to get an act such as Tinie Tempah, who currently costs in the region on £50k, it would mean a ticket price of around £50. We understand these are some of the issues that have led to Theory being less popular than we had hoped. We will be addressing all of the above issues over the summer.

We must, however, remember that the Students’ Union does offer a successful diverse range of entertainment throughout the week including a successful club night. We currently operate under the Security Industry Authority guidelines. These national guidelines are set for

security provision, which we get at a competitive rate to enable a safe environment for all our members. This also forms part of our license and ensures we are consistent in achieving the Best Bar None Award. We will always strive to give students what they want and we have

held entertainment forums and undertaken surveys. Remember, every penny you spend in the SU Bar gets put back into the Students’ Union activities. If you have any ideas for future events please email subarsents@bath.ac.uk. We look forward to hearing from you.

Elements during one of the busier Theory club nights. Students do really love foam.

Monday 14th March 2011

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What tripadvisor can’t tell you bathimpact recieves an open letter reviewing Bath Snowsports Club’s latest trip to Les Arcs 1800

ear Comment Editor, After an intense week away to Les Arcs with the Bath Snowsports club, I felt I should write in and explain my disappointment with the way the trip was managed. There were significant improvements that could have been made to give the rest of the club a more enjoyable and valued experience. I felt that the company that organised the trip, Wastelandski, was one of the worst-run tour operators I’ve come across. The total bus journey to the resort, door-

£389

base price for the trip (excl. ski hire, food, insurance etc.)

to-door, lasted 23 hours, fourand-a-half of which was taken up travelling from Bath to London. 23 HOURS! I could’ve flown to Sydney in that time. Surely flying

would have been a better, if a little more expensive, option. So much for the included ‘petit déjeuners’ (breakfast). Many of us never received our daily batch of fresh baguettes in the morning. Moreover, the longest queue that I thought I would ever see is the one where tourists optimistically stand waiting in the hope of reaching the top of the Eiffel Tower. This year’s ski trip, however, turned out to be record-breaking because the crowd of people waiting to hire ski equipment could have filled the Albert Hall - and then some. Why not stagger people’s collection of ski gear at different times? Or simply generate an orderly queue formation? It took me no less than three-and-a-half hours to collect my gear, all this straight after the longest coach journey of my life. This queue chaos happened again at dinner in the Yeti Bar. I became sincerely close to putting on an apron and filling out a

The price of a one-pint beer in Les Arcs came to six euros timesheet myself as I played waiter, clearing up empty dishes, every time I wanted to sit down and eat my meal. Whilst queuing (again) for food, one of the bar staff actually abandoned her duties of serving food so that she could take advantage of the free beer & wine on offer to the Snowsports Committee. Wastelandski should also have

really pulled out the riot gear when it came to the Mountain Meal. Whilst not being told which restaurant it was being held at wasn’t the best start (sheer luck brought us to the correct place), the Wastelandski reps ignored the long wait for food, the stampede to the tables and the dangerous (almost blind) night-time ski to the hotels.

After the meal, whilst those of us with torchlights breezed past, I felt inexplicably sorry for the beginners amongst us. When they asked for advice on how to ski in a group of hundreds, down a mountain in the pitch black, I could only reply, “Well, stick your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye.” Yet despite the recurring annoyances, I did enjoy the trip thoroughly. The sun shin for the entire week, I consumed enough Flugel to drown and monkey and enjoyed some tremendous company. Some of those memories will stay with me forever. I just hope that in their planning for next year, the Bath Snowsports Committee will choose a trip that offers better value-formoney and more abundant experiences for the club’s members. Your faithfully, Sarah Bellum Bath Snowsports Club Member

Snowsports piste off “

ear Comment Editor, I would like to start by iterating that organising a 400-person ski trip is long and difficult task to do. The committee has spent a lot of their time organising this for their members, and have endeavoured to minimise problems and get the best deal both before and during the trip. The usual time it takes to get to resort, by coach, is roughly 22 hours. Everyone was given the opportunity to remove travel from the base price and arrange their own transport when they booked (for a £40 discount), so people who would rather fly always have that option. We choose to go by coach as it is the most economical and because

“

The issues raised were symptomatic of the expansion of the trip

”

organising two types of transport would be more complex to organise raising costs for everyone. Many people appreciate the breakfast packs as getting fresh

French baguettes delivered to the residences in the morning is something of a luxury, especially on a low cost trip. On one occasion the rep did not arrive on time, this was not acceptable and we informed Wasteland who fixed the issue for the remainder of the week. Unfortunately ski rental was an issue. Originally there were going to be two ski rental shops open with more staff. Wasteland was let down by SkiSet at the last minute despite checking and re-checking. The committee and reps all endeavoured to fix the problems with the queue and eventually it was resolved. On the issue of queues for dinner it was caused by the lack of oven space and embarrassingly the lack of seating which resulted from Bath students dancing on, and breaking, tables. I can assure you that the queues were not because the reps or committee were sitting around drinking free drinks and not helping to sort the problem. The lack of oven space or the need for two sittings is something that we are feeding back to Wasteland. As for ‘the Wastelandski reps (and the Snowsports Committee for that matter)’ ignoring the is-

sues at the mountain meal I think this comment comes from a lack of knowledge of how the event was run. There were reps the whole way down picking up people needing help and the committee waited at the bottom of the mountain until everyone was down, helping to carry back those too drunk to get home. As for the ‘long wait for food’ we had to get to the restaurant early to catch the last lift, it is a very long walk if you miss it. I would like to finish by expressing that the committee (unpaid volunteers trying to do degrees and mostly in final year) started working on the trip in April 2010 and have not stopped planning since to get it as good as we could for everyone one the trip (certainly to the detriment of our degrees). Some of the issues raised were symptomatic of the expansion of the trip to meet the high demand for the trip (sell-out in under 2 days!). Suffice to say we will be recommending a smaller trip to the commitee next year. Wishing we were back in Les Arcs. Kizzy Lilburne Bath Snowsports Chairperson

I would like to point out that the problems stem from the expectations of some of the wealthier, more privileged clients and not due to our failure as a tour operator.

“

”

If people were so put off by a coach journey to the Alps they could have deducted £40 from their trip price and removed the coach transport element and flown first class should they so wish.

“

”

The published letter [printed above] criticises our organisation when in fact it is his/her misunderstanding of the product purchased and not our failure.

”

“The letter simply lists one-sided judgments and uses pathetic attempts at wit ”

Chris Lund, Groups Manager, Wasteland Ski

Monday 14th March 2011

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bathimpact BUSINESS

US-Asian trade war

Potential economic pitfall

President Trump vs. China David James Comment & Business Editor comment@bathimpact.com

ou’re a straight talker. You’ve always been honest with me. Are you or are you not, going to run for the presidency? Last week Donald Trump appeared on prime US-television with Larry-King-replacement, Piers Morgan. I tuned in to see Mr Trump get grilled by his recent winner of the US Celebrity Apprentice, and as it turned out a handful of others must have too because ratings of the Piers Morgan Tonight show skyrocketed by over 26%. Last time Piers materialised on my TV screen he was interviewing the ‘Hairy Angel’, Susan Boyle (a time that made me thankful I didn’t have HD), but this time he shot ‘The Donald’ the straight question: would he consid-

and, well there’s no easy way to put this… stupid. Yet how do you gain respect for a country? Invade a new

“

Angering the Chinese may harm US enterprise far more than it helps

”

Hill. Yet it seems Donald, with his many billions, may have lost touch with reality because whilst it may not harm him if food and oil prices jump 2.8% and 1.8% (respectively) in a single month, it certainly affects the 307m other Americans, particularly those recently unemployed (though, as noted from The Economist’s index, they’ll be happy to know that the cost of a Big Mac

25%

Trump’s immediate tariff on the Chinese

er running for president. Donald Trump, the flamboyant American billionaire, has recently fallen on tough times. Whilst he made his near-$6billion fortune in real estate speculation, building homes for the likes of Stephen Spielberg, Lord Lloyd-Webber and Bruce Willis, the latest financial crisis forced him into bankruptcy proceedings over his casino interests in Atlantic City and Nevada. However, whereas his planned golf course construction in Aberdeen is floundering under the pressure of environmental protestors, his ownership of the Miss Universe beauty pageant, and TV show The Apprentice (where he plays Lord Sugar’s equivalent) has made him an American icon. Hence President Donald may actually be able to knock some sense into a country where you can get a pizza delivered to your door faster than an ambulance. When speaking to Piers he stated that his first major policy would be to “regain worldwide respect for America”. However Donald there’s a reason that people mock the country that put the ‘miss’ in ‘missile’ and the ‘oops’ in ‘troops’, Americans come across as obese

were counted) as cheap Chinese imports help to reduce the American price level. Trump’s plan would therefore create added pressure to the US Fed to raise interest rates to stave off inflation; a crucifying move considering the US economy is trundling along at just 2.6% GDP growth per annum. Furthermore is the certain retaliation that would follow. The Chinese were reluctant to join the free trade movement (WTO) in the height of 1999, and with recent wage inflation sweeping it and the other Asian tigers (as a once endless supply of Far Eastern labour suddenly seems less infinite); it has been poised for years to protect its industries from foreign competition. David Cameron and a privateplane-load of his Bullingdon Club chums (four cabinet ministers and 43 business leaders) even had to fly to Shanghai personally on a “vitally important trade mission” to persuade the Chinese Premier Hu Jintao to accept British exports. Since the US exports near $70bn worth of goods and services to China (comprising predominantly of spacecraft and oil seed commodities), and Chinese investment into America

“

China has been poised for years to protect its industries from foreign competition

Theory: The postmortem

So where did it all go wrong? David James Comment & Business Editor comment@bathimpact.com

ell that was awkward. After just 20 weeks, the management of the Plug Bar and Elements nightclub have decided to cancel Theory indefinitely, citing poor attendance and falling revenues as the reason for its demise. The Students’ Union Bars can no longer even afford to pay campus radio station 1449AM URB to DJ at Happy Hour, and have had to set up a free delivery service to campus residents to entice food orders. So after three failed attempts to re-make Friday nights at Elements nightclub (Theory, Flirt! and FunkyGuppy), let’s start the postmortem and examine where it all went wrong. Last semester my fellow bathimpact contributor Andy Social (‘The flawed theory behind Theory’) explained that a lack of bar staff and comparatively dearer opening nights contributed to Theory’s falling popularity. And that its organisers should focus on the priorities of students rather than the price and

”“

one? I digress. Second on the list was to “stop the Chinese cheating”, stating “we don’t have fair trade, we have unfair trade”. His solution to stop this injustice is to impose a tariff (tax on goods imported to the US) on China of 25%, effective as soon as he took the oath of office on Capital

remained the same over the period). US Core inflation, measuring the rate of price increases in a defined basket of goods (excluding relatively volatile price movements), rose by over 1% during January alone and this comparatively high rate is kept lower than it should be (if only domestically produced US goods

(funding projects from Texan wind farms to beach resorts in the Bahamas) totalled $59bn last year alone; Donald Trump may find that angering the Chinese harms American enterprise far more than it helps it. Besides, with a seething battle over healthcare reform and North African tensions set to cause oil prices to soar, President Trump should focus a little less on settling a score with his Chinese adversaries and a little more on the key issues. However if Trump does indeed accept the Republican Presidential nomination, it would at least mean that Piers “I’m so smug” Morgan stays on the other side of the pond for the (hopefully) distant future.

SU Bars can no longer afford to pay campus radio 1449AM URB to DJ at Happy Hour

”

availability of a ‘non-alcoholic alternative’. All well and correct Andy though, I think there are a number of profitable improvements that could be made. I realise that employing more staff means higher costs; yet in my personal opinion, the Plug Bar, at peak times, employs drastically too few operating the bar. It is not unusual to wait half-an-hour to order a drink and if it’s your round, your friends could have exited the club, caught the bus and Continued on page 11

Monday 14th March 2011

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Business

“

Why not kick out ComePlay and let the SU run their own Saturday night?

”

FWEMs organised daytime activities and solicited with students about the celebrity acts they wished to see during the week, all operations within the Founders’ Hall were run by the Students’ Union bar’s management. The bouncers covering all the major exits were drafted in from Birmingham and Cardiff each night (to the cost of the Union) and the same staff are employed for the security of Elements nightclub. Surely bouncers amount to a large proportion of a night’s costs? At my last count there were four covering the single side doorway to Elements, not to mention those stationed at the Plug Bar’s

entrance and the smoking area. I believe that Elements could afford to employ fewer door staff without increasing the risk of danger or violence. Furthermore during the beginning weeks, Theory’s promoters were paid a percentage of the door’s total takings, as opposed to commission from each ticket they individually sold. Whilst this may cut down on wage administration, it wouldn’t have motivated the promotions team to perform well individually as each one would hope to get a ‘free ride’ on the back of their colleague’s sales. Whilst this payment method changed in the later weeks, it proved unable to halt the downward spiral in attendance numbers as the semester continued. For the end-of-term Christmas party, Bars hired as its star guest… Aled Haydn Jones. Who is he? Well he’s chief producer of The Chris Moyles show on Radio One, though

“

Elements should book relevant and current celebrities to attract students

”

not a lot of people knew that. If they did they certainly didn’t show up, as fans because attendance was

Ctv

www.bathimpact.com be asleep in bed before you’ve caught the barman’s attention. With queues at substantial lengths, people will be put off buying drinks altogether, and management will see fewer takings in the till. I seriously believe that employing a greater number of staff at peak times would draw in more than enough revenue to cover the added cost. During Freshers’ Week, whilst

dismal. Last November, a pair of students hired out Elements and booked Example to play a DJ set for students; needless to say that event sold out within a matter of weeks with tickets priced at £15 each. Radio One presenter Annie Mac also appeared in Bath recently at Second Bridge nightclub, performing a DJ set for which tickets sold out at £10 a time. Can you catch the subtle hint in all this? Elements should book relevant and current celebri-

ties, such as Tinchy Stryder or Tinie Tempah, to attract students.

1200

Capacity of Elements nightclub

Nevertheless the sabbatical team and Theory organisers did drop drinks prices swiftly to try and entice students back into Elements after Happy Hour. The majority of

drinks were priced at £1.50 However due to the Union’s restrictions, Elements cannot promote and advertise its low drinks prices and does not offer deals such as 3-4-£5 on jagerbombs. So whilst the drinks prices may have been, comparatively, the lowest in Bath, many students just didn’t realise So on final examination it seems to me as if Elements is simply not competiive enough with other nightclub venues in town on Fridays. Whilst Happy Hour remains the place to be seen on Friday afternoons, Elements soon becomes a ghost town past 9pm. However perhaps the principal problem is that students are averse from visiting the same nightclub two nights in a row. The popularity of Delight has taken numerous customers away from Glamourpuss, to the extent that popularity for the once unmissable Thursday night has sunk to unthinkable depths. So, for any potential Sabb candidate who’s reading this, I’m going to put this proposal on the table. Why not kick out ComePlay (a separate promotions company who take Saturday night door takings in lieu of payment) and let the Students’ Union run their own Saturday night. No other club in Bath runs a student night during the weekend (so there is no-one to compete with) and we, as members of the Union, won’t have to see our precious funds wasted again on frivolous Friday night dreams.

Tunisian Egyptian Libyan crisis continues

Why the scram for Gadaffi’s black gold is sending energy markets through the roof Magali Calabressi bathimpact Contributor

nti-government protests affecting the Middle East and North Africa have now escalated to previously unforeseeable levels of widespread socio-political unrest. These unprecedented events are a consequence of the rising demand of rights similar to those found in Western liberal democracies and have directly led to a state of negative economic backlash. Perhaps, Western observers should be asking; is the West to fear yet another oil crisis? Contrary to the decision of Hosni Mubarak (the former Egyptian president) to step down after weeks of protests and obvious feelings of disenchantment, Libya’s dictator Col. Muammar Gaddafi – who has been in power for over 40 years – has resolved to remain in power by opting to start a civil war-like conflict. Despite accusations from home and abroad, Gaddafi denies any wrongdoing by claiming that those pro-

testing are members of Al-Qaeda and that “all his people love him”. If only all the world’s problems could be solved by denying they ever exist: What climate change? What Aids? Where even IS Dafur? From an investor’s point of view, having dictators rule a country is not necessarily economically unfavourable as one might see them as contributors to the stability of the nation in question. It is probable that this is the reason the West had few qualms surrounding the previous state of oil imports from Libya. In certain past situations, this has proved to be true. In any case, sometimes the existence of dictatorially-created stability helps attract more investors that are in return, willing to turn a blind eye to possible domestic issues, especially in emerging markets such as Libya that offer high-risk but also potentially high-gain economic opportunities. Libya typically produces around 1.7m barrels of oil a day, which is around 2% of petroleum for export on the world market. This might

sound like a small figure but the unfolding of the current events is having a colossal impact on international oil markets. To begin with, many oil workers have fled the country to neighbouring Tunisia, causing a significant decrease in oil production and thus affecting oil export to Western countries. Amongst locations with a reported decrease in petroleum production is Brega, home to Libya’s second-largest oil facility. Al-

though the facilities here have not yet been damaged, Mohammed Khamis, an employee at Sirte Oil Company, has said that these are operating “at less than 10 per cent capacity”. As Libyan petroleum extraction, refinery and exports are being jeopardised, tremors are being sent throughout the world’s economy. There is undeniable fear amongst investors and traders as the cost of a barrel of Brent crude oil has risen

from a low of $80 (£49) last year to around $115 (£71). The situation is so severe, that US Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke said “if rising commodity prices threaten to trigger inflation or choke off the economic recovery,” then they are “prepared to respond as necessary”. Though quite what the Fed is proposing remains to be seen. The effects of the Libyan protests are indisputable and very-far reaching. One must note that some countries, like Switzerland, have a strong reliance on Libyan oil, with over 18% of petroleum coming directly from Libya. Italy encounters another significant problem, as it is Libya’s biggest trading partner. As, with the EU debt crisis that has deeply affected countries like Greece and Ireland, many analysts believe that Italy may be amongst the countries soon to follow suit. Given Italy’s already delicate situation (ahem, Berlusconi), if the EU decides to sanction Libya, then Italy itself may become “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, in respect to the EU debt crisis.

Monday 14th March 2011

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International

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Festival on the Hill Changes to Student Visas Do you remember the vibrant, culturally diverse Festival on the Hill that took place in March last year at the University of Bath? This year the Festival is back, with even more live performances, debates, films - all to celebrate the great cultural diversity at our University. in the third Festival on the Hill from 26 March till 3 April 2011

ast spring, the campus was alive with a wide range of events to celebrate the second ever “Festival on the Hill.” Performances, film nights, discussions, workshops and food tasting events all took place with the aim of celebrating the immense talent and diverse cultures represented amongst the student body. One of the events during the week was the “Festival on the Parade”. During lunch time the Parade turned into a scene with a wonderful mixture of performances and displays. The sights, sounds, tastes and flavours on offer were more than enough to delight the senses. Students and staff were invited to taste generous samples from Bulgarian pastries to delicious Cypriot cheese and sweets. Funky Afro-Caribbean dancers performed alongside the sensational Latin rhythms from the Latin and Ballroom Dance Society, whilst the fragrance of fresh French waffles drifted enticingly through the crowds of students and staff gathered for the spectacle. All these visual sensations were accompanied by music courtesy of URB, the GASP gospel choir and the “Ali Baber” Barbershop singers. The Festival attracted English students as well as many international students. As one British student put it: “So many cultures in one place!!It’s like travelling without going

anywhere!” Last year, the festival culminated with the impressive “Global Evening” with free entry for students attending in their national costumes. The entire audience were invited to dance on stage with Cypriot dancers and were entertained by Israeli and Iranian comparesshowing just what an extra-ordinary mix of cultures we have! Intrigued? Don´t miss the Global Evening this year the 1st April! Last year, the festival was a great success and the Students’ Union, the ICIA, the International Office and numerous societies and clubs are working very hard to make this year’s Festival event more memorable! We want to allow UK and international students to get together and to meet others from a variety of backgrounds, and provide a rich opportunity to find out more about the surprising and spectacular cultures and customs of our students. Do you want a chance to promote your society? Gain new members? Raise your public profile? Or would you gain valuable working experience in event organisation and like to volunteer to help us with the organisation of the festival? Please email us on festivalonthehill@bath.ac.uk to register your interest! To find out more about the Festival, key dates and the timetable of events, visit the website www.bathstudent.com/festival Key dates Tue 29th March 12:00-14:00 Festival on the Parade Fri 1th April Global Evening

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n an attempt to cut net immigration from 215,000 to 100,000 by 2015, the government has announced that it is planning to limit the amount of UK visas given to international students from outside the EU. There is a growing concern that the Home Office’s proposal will have severe repercussions for universities throughout the UK. Bath is not an exception. International students make up 23% of Bath’s student population. Thus, it is not unlikely that a cut in incoming international students might have a great negative impact for the both the University and British economy alike. Still, the Home Office declared that Universities with good courses had nothing to fear. However, University of Bath Vice-Chancellor Professor Glynis Breakwell (among other 16 university leaders) wrote a letter to The

Observer newspaper calling for the government to reconsider their position. The Vice-Chancellors argue that “International students coming to universities contribute over £5 billion each year to the UK economy through tuition fees and off-campus expenditure. Reduc-

23%

Percentage of Bath students that are international tions in student numbers will lead to reductions in income and jobs.” In addition “Without international students, many university courses, particularly science and engineering, may no longer be viable. This will in turn reduce the courses available to UK students.” Finally, “International students bring extensive cultural and political benefits to the UK. When they return to their countries at the end of their studies, they become cultural and economic ambassadors for the UK.

At a time of financial austerity, this issue is of immeasurable importance to the UK.” A study for the Higher Education Policy Institute (HEPI) has concluded measures that the way that the plans are designed would cut the number of foreign students coming to UK universities, but not necessarily visa abuse. The UK Council for International Student Affairs (UKCISA) has been deeply involved in the matter, providing written evidence to the government and testifying in front of the Home Affairs Select Committee. Dominic Scott, Chief Executive of UKCISA, stated that an announcement should be made by the 21st of March. However, it is likely that a decision will not be reached until early May. He also stated that the government’s consultation process has been very thorough and that “The arguments have therefore been very adequately and extensively articulated. We can now only hope for reasonable decisions.”

Bath Students Comment Nikita Kapur, India Second Year, Economics and Intertional Development I feel it is completely unfair to international students currently enrolled in university in the UK. One of the reasons international students are drawn to the UK is great job opportunities and specifically in Bath, the ties our University has with firms all around the world. The change in visa regulations may be in the best interest of the UK economy but should not affect present students. Prospective international students may make an informed decision once the changes have been made - present students are unable to do so. Liza Ordonez, Colombia Second Year, Politics with Economics The changes proposed by the government are extremely tough for international students who have already been through much difficulty on getting a visa. They are impractical and hit hard on the student population who is willing to work and contribute to the UK economy. Changes are needed, but the proposed ones will not tackle the problem of immigration but rather discourage the excellent multicultural education that has characterized English Universities.

Hao Chen, China Final Year, Politics with International Relations Admittedly there are worries that student visas can be used as an easy way into Britain’s labour market, but it is minority who are doing so. On the other hand, I do not favor the argument of “we contribute 10 miliion a year so please let us stay”, the fact is, you don’t need two years to acquire a proper job, if you really want a job in the UK, go and get it!

Hannah Raymont, United Kingdom Final Year, Modern Languages and European Studies It is only after coming back from a study exchange abroad that it has really hit home how many international students there are at Bath. However, while this diverse community of students from all corners of the world enriches the learning environment, it is a terrible shame that some do not seem to socialise outside of their cultural groups. Also a large proportion of international students come from EU member states and therefore will not be affected by the changes. Given the nature of my degree, my studies are fairly Euro-centric, but the presence of students from Latin America and Francophone nations other than the hexagone allow me and my peers a valuable insight into their language and culture, without having to pay hundreds of pounds for a flight to get there.

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Travel Bug - The insider’s guide to York Often dubbed the Northern version of Bath, York is one of the loveliest cities in England. Situated in North Yorkshire, this traditional ‘county town’ has a very rich history, viewable to even the most uncultured visitor. York was founded by the Romans and, like here in Bath, they have certainly made their mark. It is also famous for being captured by the Vikings who christened it the city Jorvik, to which it is often still referred. However, there is nothing historic about modern day life in York. As bathimpact Editor-in-chief Gina Reay proves, it is one of the best cities in the North of England for shopping, has a fantastic night life due to its vibrant student population and is home to many tourist attractions.

Getting there

Day-time

York is very far ‘up north’ so the best way to get there from here in Bath is, obviously, by train. The train is usually about four and half hours but, be warned, the distance means it can be very expensive, so it’s always best to book in advance. The cheapest ticket I found was £23.50 for a single, but it’s worth it to soak up the wonderful Yorkshire culture of York. Once there, the train station is a five minute walk outside of the bustling city centre. If you’re flying in from abroad, your best bet would be to take a flight to the nearest airport Leeds/Bradford. There is a Shuttle Bus service known as Air Coach York which will transport you to York Station for £10 single or £15 return. York also hosts a very reliable public transport network, and there are buses to neighbouring cities such as the wonderful seaside attraction Scarborough. There are also many Park and Ride services running that can take you to the surrounding Shopping Centres ‘Monks Cross’, ‘McCarthur Glen Designer Outlet’, ‘Clifton Moore’.

There’s nothing like a day in York. Start off by heading to the Castle Museum after breakfast to take in the delights of Victorian Britain. One of Europe’s top museums, this museum has a recreated Victorian street, allowing you to wander the cobbles and visit the various shops and houses on the way. After this, wander across the street to Clifford’s Tower. Originally built by William the Conqueror, this tower has become known as a symbol of the power of England’s medieval kings. It was built on top of a high hill and is famous for its panoramic views of the city of York and the surrounding countryside. After this you must head into the centre to enjoy the delights of the High Street shops. Have a stroll down Coney Street and see what takes your eye before stopping to have a break at the notorious Betty’s Tea Rooms. Situated at Stonegate, Betty’s is famous for its classic creams teas and brutishness. The café is also just a stone’s throw away from York’s most famous landmark, the York Minster.

Just a short walk here and you will be able to admire the wonderful architecture (shame you have to pay to go in though!) After a few minutes of awing, head to The Shambles. These tiny streets are packed with wonderful little boutiques, coffee shops and jewellery stores. They always fascinated me as a child as I was told that people who lived on the second floor of opposite buildings could actually shake hands across the gap! This street was recently votes the Most Picturesque Street in Britain 2010 by Google Street and those who have visited will certainly understand why. It is an attraction not to be missed. Finally a visit to the York Dungeons is necessary. Having spent my entire visit with my eyes closed, I’m not in a very good place to explain what this museum plays host to but please head over and see for yourself! To recover from this you’ll certainly need to embrace the Yorkshire culture and head for a pint of Yorkshire bitter. Maybe even treat yourself to a heart portion of chips and gravy too!

Students debate global issues Julia Lipowiecka International Editor Last weekend welcomed 35 delegates to the University of Bath as part of the Second Bath Model United Nations Conference. The conference, organized by the BUMUN society, brought together students from Bath, other UK universities as well as international universities. Over the course of the weekend the students debated, argued, wrote resolutions and tried to find solutions to some of the world’s pressing problems. The topics discussed included North Korea as a threat to international security, the Libyan crisis, gender equal-

ity in Latin America and, fair debt relief schemes in and the Spanish Civil War. Charlotte Serres, Secretary-General of BUMUN, commented on the success of the event: “I believe this conference went extremely well and BathMUN has achieved its objectives. The delegates were all extremely high quality individuals, with intellectual curiosity, diplomatic and enjoyable personalities and it was an absolute pleasure to spend these 3 days in their company. ” Of course the conference wasn’t all about world politics, and Saturday night delegates headed out to Second

Bridge to unwind after a day full of caucusing and conflict resolution. The conference received very positive feedback, and all delegates noted that they had greatly enjoyed both the debating and the socials. Clementine Traynard, a Bath delegate representing Spain in the GA commented: “I was particulary impressed by the use of the intepreting labs for the Security Council - thanks to the amazing interpreters delegates were debating in Mandarin, French, Spanish, German and Russian! The people were great, the discussion topics were great – really nothing more you could wish for from an MUN Conference.”

Out at night York has a thriving student popular and therefore has great nightlife. Nights in York usually start with a cocktail or two in Dusk, a wonderful little venue on New Street in the City Centre. Ask the barman for the ‘Milky Bar Kid’ if you fancy something creamy of a ‘Graham Norton’ if you have a fruitier taste. It’s usually buy-on-get-one-free here too. After a couple of drinks here, head the Revolution Bar just off Coney Street. The branch in York is a bit more spacious than the Bath bar and is very popular amongst students. There is even a dance floor in the middle for people who fancy a boogie. Try the bubblegum shot here before heading outside onto the terrace where you can admire the spectacular view of the Ouse.

After this there is only one club worthy of praise, Gallery is a very popular student haunt and always a good night if you enjoy dancing. Situated right next to the York Dungeons and the City’s Fire Station this club has a very large capacity, a refreshing change from the nightlife down in Bath, and is usually only around £2 entry on student nights. With two floors, one of mainstream hits and another with R n’ B and hip-hop, this club caters for many and there are always a fair few dance-offs taking place for added entertainment. So if you fancy a weekend a way but don’t really want to leave the roman-esque beauty of Bath, head up North and enjoy the wonders of York. It’ll be worth it just for the Yorkshire Tea, trust me!

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Ben Lane and Sam Lewtas explain how the campus is about to get new wind in its sails

able energies company, the electrics, woodwork and metalwork have been carried out using traditional methods over three weekends in the Mechanical Engineering workshop. Benjamin Lane and his team are working as part of Engineers Without Borders and People and Planet. The hope is to get the system up and running, and designs streamlined, so that future Bath University students can pick up the torch and build devices like this across developing countries. Many communities that could benefit from this are currently without power. It’s hoped that locals may also be able to be taught how to provide their own sustainable electricity supply. Current research by the team includes the feasibility of including a super capacitor incorporated into the design. Doing this would allow excess generated power to be stored and fed back

are getting involved in research regarding the ins and outs of the machine, hopefully making the future of this project seriously high tech, cheap, and easy to build, also capable of producing functional amounts of wind generated energy, wherever these machines pop up in the world. The aim is to make a cheap design that can be built out of relatively simple materials for relatively low costs, avoiding all the bigger corporations’ grasp on the turbine patents and design, and so far the forecast is good. If you want to follow the team’s progress, check out their blog: http://bathwindturbine.tumblr. com/ What guy doesn’t love his wood? Maybe not in a vice though. into the battery when the conditions get tough, which will dramatically improve the efficiency of the machine (Antony Gee, PhD Student, Centre for Sustainable Power Distribution). The horizontal axis design is based on the Hugh Piggot specification, an open source wind turbine design, and with a help from V3 Power (a company specialising in building DIY mirco wind turbines) they’ve made their clean energy, low carbon design machine (something to please all the hippies out there). Once erected on campus, the turbine will not only produce electricity, but it will serve as a reminder of the importance of sustainable living to the student community, also providing a foundation for future research projects. Furthermore, this

project will give the students of Bath the opportunity to gain vital skills in low tech micro-generation - equipping the team with the necessary skills to take this project to developing countries where it can offer the potential to make a real difference to the lives of local communities. Once operational, data from the turbine will be monitored to build a power curve for the system which will allow an improved understanding of the performance and efficiency of the design, helping to develop the system capabilities in the future. The vision is that students over the coming years are going to be able to leave their mark on this project, and many people within the engineering and physics departments

The language of nature Sam Lewtas Science Editor science@bathimpact.com

ithout sounding like a complete wetty, I just want to say that DNA is amazing. A few years have passed since I was sat at the back of biology class, doodling on my desk, thinking about how stupid and hard DNA was, and the truth is that the famous double helix means everything. Whether you’re a polar bear, a ladybird, or just plain old human (sharing half of your DNA with a banana!), your very existence is formed by this amazing molecule. DNA was first dis-

covered back in 1869 but it wasn’t until 1953 that Watson and Crick famously found the double helical structure of DNA, a major milestone that has allowed a whole plethora of new scientific research. Nobody has quite the same DNA, you get half from your mum and half from your dad, giving you two sets of every gene. Similarly, your parents had two sets from your grandparents and so on, meaning genes get very efficiently and randomly mixed up in every generation. DNA, much like our own language, reads as fluidly as any novel. Each three nucleotides code for an amino acid (like a letter),

Or to see more details on how it works: http://science.howstuffworks. com/environmental/green-science/wind-power1.htm http://science.howstuffworks. com/environmental/green-science/wind-power2.htm They plan to carry out the final paint work and finishing touches over Global Future week, (http://setpoint. bath.ac.uk/estates/energy/globalfuture.shtml), commencing the 4th of April, on the Parade, so be sure to look out for them!

Maybe being bilingual is more useful than you thought... Esther Osarfo-Mensah Deputy Science Editor

s Brits are well known for our lack of enthusiasm when it comes to learning a foreign language. ‘What’s the point?’ We grumble, they all learn English in their schools anyway. Trying to find a good local restaurant in France? Lost in a busy Indian market? Desperately looking for a toilett in Poland? No need for the local lingo. Odds are, the first person that you meet will be proficient enough in good old English to help you on your way. Yet deep down, we all know that this kind of behaviour just isn’t good enough. The ability to communicate in a foreign language reels in reward after reward; it puts you a step ahead of the competition in job applications, allows you to appreciate different cultures and traditions, makes travelling far easier and much more enjoyable,

it has been shown to delay Alzheimer’s disease by around 5 years, it’s really rather attractive. But wait ... back up, being able to speak more than one language could help stave off Alzheimer’s Disease? Maybe GCSE French wasn’t a complete waste of time after all... Alzheimer’s Disease is a form of dementia that affects about 465,000 British people today. Brain tissue develops

‘plaques’ and ‘tangles’ over time, leading to brain cell death and irreversible changes in memory, thinking and behaviour. The older you get the more susceptible you are to the disease, however it is important to note that it’s in no way part of the normal aging process. Alzheimer’s is a frightening condition for both the sufferers and those around them, so research is con-

tinuously being ploughed into the field to find cures and better treatments. New Canadian research from the Rotman Research Institute, using patients diagnosed with probable Alzheimer’s disease, has shown that the 102 who had bilingual backgrounds reported the onset of symptoms an average of 5.1 years later than their 109 monolingual counterparts. So what makes them so special? Being able to speak more than one language encourages the brain to work much harder as it creates and maintains an increased number of nervous connections. This in turn counters the rate of cell death brought about by the condition. CT (Computerised Tomography) scans have illustrated that multilingual patients who are at more advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease have the same cognitive states as the monolingual sufferers who were at a less advanced stage. According to El-

len Bialystok, Professor of Psychology at York University in Toronto, Canada, and one of the researchers in the new study, speaking a second language produces a stronger effect in delaying the onset of Alzheimer’s than any drug currently used to control the disease. However, it’s important to note that the best effects come from continuously speaking both languages, switching constantly between the two in differing situations. This does mean that those pesky lifelong bilingual speakers do have an advantage over those learning a new language later on in life, but quite frankly, taking time out to immerse yourself in a new world of language rules and techniques keeps the brain active – and that’s all that matters. So if you’re given the opportunity to take extra credits in a language next year, think of all the benefits that you’ll reap in the future... not just that one about being rather more attractive.

Makes even the Lord of the Rings trilogy seem like a very, very short story

these amino acids make up proteins (sometimes thousands of amino acids for one protein), like words in a sentence. There are even three specific nucleotide sequences for the start and end of a protein, much like a capital letter and full stop. The human genome consists of around six billion nucleotides correlating to around 30 000 genes. This sounds a lot but a human cell can bash out a new genome in around eight hours, with very few errors. There are quite a lot of DNA facts out there, impressively all

Science

Sam Lewtas

Winds of change for the University and beyond

hirty enthusiastic volunteers are getting ready for the implementation of their ambitious project. They’re going to install a 1kw wind turbine right here on our very own campus. Construction was no Ikea job though, they’ve sawed, hammered and nailed every piece themselves, from the blades right through to the coils in the generator. The finished product is currently sat in the engineering department but this project wont be gathering dust for long, the aim is for it to be up and running on campus within the next few months. After over 100 people applied to take part in the project, a team of just thirty students were selected. The successful candidates are from a range of disciplines, including engineering and physics. Under the guidance of V3 Power, a small renew-

Monday 14th March 2011

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6 000 000 000

nucleotide bases in every cell

100 trillion cells that comprise an adult human (apart from red blood cells) contain our entire genome, all 6ft2” of it each (supercoiled, naturally). If you were to stretch it all out, a person’s DNA would go to the moon and back 800 times, though granted, doing this would be quite a difficult task. Every living thing has DNA and it seems it is mother nature’s way of ‘writing’ down her amazing creations. Much like an author, putting away novel after novel, each creature has its own unique genome, each species its own set of genes, and it is this which has turned our planet from a few bits of rock and some water into a whole plethora of rich natural wonders and organic landscapes. DNA is the reason we wake up in the morning, why we can enjoy our own individual philosophical thoughts, one of the fundamental and quintessential ingredients to life itself. The implications of what DNA research could mean for the human race is massive, if at the moment not totally clear. The completion of the 13 year long Human Genome Project in 2003 represents one of mankinds greatest achievements, akin to the creation of the silicon chip or the first spark of electricity. The project has opened the door to so many possibilities (and mammoth ethical dilemmas). Our grasp of the physical essence of humanity could lead to medical advancements that could previously have only been dreamed up in science fiction novels. Stem cell research, which involves manipulating the most unspecific and primordial of human cells, has allowed many developments such as growing ‘mini livers,’ urethras and recently even brain tissue,

Not the most exciting read, just the letters G,T,A and C a few billion times, book review anyone? that may one day be able to restore mental capacity to those who have suffered previously brain injury. This research means we can better study illness and disease, and be able to understand the intricate processes that go on within illnesses on a whole new level. The creation of GM crops allows better and more efficient feeding of an increasingly expanding population. Being a scientist, I only briefly consider the negative impact it may

have, but designer babies are a reality (of course, only in America), and people today are choosing the sex and other features of their unborn babies. As well as this, cloned animals are becoming increasingly seen within agriculture. The prospects of these advances are both great and terrible but however it pans out, be ready for this exceptional discovery to play an increasingly bigger part in our lives and society, whatever form it takes. Flickr

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Ben Lane and Sam Lewtas explain how the campus is about to get new wind in its sails

The language of nature Sam Lewtas Science Editor science@bathimpact.com

Maybe being bilingual is more useful than you thought... Esther Osarfo-Mensah Deputy Science Editor

Makes even the Lord of the Rings trilogy seem like a very, very short story

Science

Sam Lewtas

Winds of change for the University and beyond

Monday 14th March 2011

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nucleotide bases in every cell

Monday 14th March 2011

Sam Lewtas

Monday 14th March 2011

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Media

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Our wonderful Student Radio Station 1449am URB talk about their featured radio show that promises to significantly improve So we’ve told you about Buzz, we’ve told you about The Guide, but what really matters here at URB are the general entertainment/music shows which are the backbone of our output. Our schedule is currently packed with what URB does best; students just having a laugh and playing the music they (and you) want to hear, so we thought it’s about time we shared one of our favourites with you. Harriet & Ashley – Improving Your Life, Thursdays 17:00-19:00

As you can see from the title of their show, Harriet and Ashley promise that their show will make your life that little bit better, through their choice of music and general chit-chat about the world. Expect lots of husband and wife banter, random tangents and the odd bit of current affairs, if they feel like it. Tune in at www.1449urb.co.uk and if like Harriet and Ashley, you’d like your own show email James at urb-training@bath. ac.uk.

Joint media social proves great success

Last Thursday, members of 1449am URB, bathimpact and Ctv teamed up for a joint media social in Revolution. Here are the best snaps...

WHAT’S HOT ON URB:

THE CHARTS URB contributes to the Student Radio Chart – your chance to hear all those tracks that have been a favourite for presenters and listeners across the world of Student Radio in the past week. It is compiled us-

ing airplay on stations and listener interaction such as votes via our Soundtrack Selector on the website. The latest Student Radio Chart was hosted by 1449am URB right here in Bath. Here it is….

1 Lady Gaga Born this way 2 Rihanna S&M 3 Jessie J Price Tag 4 Tinie Tempah & Ellie Goulding Airplanes 5 Alexis Jordan Good girl 6 Cee Lo It’s OK 7 Avril Lavigne What the hell 8 Martin Solveig Hello (ft. Dragonette) 9 Taio Cruz Higher 10 The Naked and Famous Young Blood

11 Magnetic Man Getting nowhere 12 Everything Everything My Kz Yr Bf 13 Modestep Feel good 14 The Strokes Under cover of darkness 15 The Vaccines Post break up sex 16 The Pretty Wreckless Make me wanna die 17 Adele Rolling in the deep 18 Chipmunk Champion (ft. Chris Brown) 19The Vaccines If you wanna 20 Katy B Lights on

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publicity@bathimpact.com get involved bathimpact contributors meetings: Tuesday 15th March & Tuesday 29th March 18:15 in 6E 2.1, see you there!

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you know Sci-Fi? RAG Sleepout snaps ThinkThink Again!

The Sci-Fi crew enjoying some delicately rolled raw fish. Or sushi. So you've heard of the Sci-Fi & Fantasy Society, and thought all we did was watch Star Trek and Star Wars? Actually, this year we've been a Star Wars/ Trek free zone. This semester we're showing V for Vendetta, Futurama, I.Robot, and many more. In fact, we show two films a week (on Tuesdays and Wednesdays) plus Anime on Friday nights. We also have loads of socials: we've just been to Wagamamas, and to Laser Quest with BUFS. We've also got our amazing Summer Quiz coming up, where the winners get to pick out DVDs as prizes. Check us out on BathStudent! Membership costs just £4 for the year and gives you free access to all of our screenings. That's half the price of a cinema ticket! http://www.bathstudent.com/socs/societies/sci-fifantasy/

Pygamalion pictures: Bath thespians in action

“No thanks love, I can get those down Sainsbury’s garage for much less than that.”

Jeremy Kyle circa 1904

Fancy a game of shadow puppets?

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Money, money, money... ...must be funny, in a Rich Man’s World! Soooo despite not really being able to move (having just run the ½ marathon) the Sabb dance at the RAG Variety Show wasn’t too much of a disaster! Well… ok at least we were raising money for a good cause! I had many hours of fun choreographing the dance... being gunked, however, it was as horrific as I had imagined. I can still feel the gunk slipping through my t-shirt – eeeeeeeewwwwwww! Wandering campus to find loose change/donations/unsuspecting members of staff was fun, and I now feel at a loss without my bucket as it followed me everywhere throughout the course of the week. The Bierkeller and Silent Disco were both immensely entertaining helping boost the RAG week total. Surprise! Flash! oooooooo! 12.10 on parade on Wednesday saw a Sabb chess tournament and a flash mob unfurl to the tune of Abba’s ‘money money money’ with a mass awareness raising session for RAG day and RAG week. In other news I enjoyed an awesome showing of Chess the Musi-

cal at the Bristol Hippodrome with the Backstage Crew. Due to preparation for the Bath Half Marathon I was unable to attend the Bath MUN conference or the Cath-Soc Ceilidh last weekend but I have been informed that both events went very well with large numbers of students taking part. Having donned a ball dress, heels and some make up I enjoyed a lovely evening with the Pharmacy Students at their annual Pharmacy Ball in the Assembly Rooms. To look out for... BAPS (the Physchology Society) are bringing a Hypnotist to campus tomorrow in University Hall at 8pm.Tickets available on the door for £3 (BAPS members) or £5 (non-BAPS members). The Bath RAG Fashion Show is back in

the Assembly Rooms on Wednesday 7pm. This year there are lots of models and lots of clothes so be sure to pick up your ticket from the Volunteer Centre before they run out. As part of the ‘Festival on the Hill’ Season there are many cultural society treats in store over the next few weeks. BAMSA have their night on the 18th march, Chinese Student Society have their Variety Show on the 19th March, BUASS have their Asian Night on 20th March and finally, China Ren will enjoy a Karaoke Night on the 25th

Silent discos: useful for when you want to hide the fact that you’re actually robot-dancing to Phil Collins.

Visitors examine a reconstruction of the human body Once we had enough scientific input everyone spent the afternoon in the capital at their own leisure. Some of us took this as an opportunity to go ball dress shopping – the Annual Pharmacy Ball is the highlight of the academic year and also just took place on 3rd March. It was held in the beautiful Assembly Rooms in Bath and was a fabulous night for both students and lecturers. There was a drinks reception (both bubbly and non-alcoholic),

Explain your Society: Mondays, 6.15pm in 1W3.8

Say cheese! Or maybe not... March. See each society’s webpage for more details. Good Luck…. Best of Luck BUDS (Debating Society) with your various competitions coming up in the next few weeks. The Pole Dancing Society have their competition in Cardiff, so lots of luck to them with their routines. The new Management Society Committee has worked wonders with the society and are running a Dragons Den style competition to win a years supply of chocolate. I am excited about being a judge for this event! Have fun and Activities Love Ann

a Ceilidh (pronounced ‘kay-lee’) is and how you can get involved with further Gaelic-themed dancing shenanigans.

o what is a Ceilidh? A Ceilidh is a Gaelic traditional dance evening where the dances are led by a band and caller. Basically you can't go wrong - a professional (or just very experienced) caller is standing at the front shouting instructions over the (usually folk) music. It's a bit of a laugh really - I don't think I've been to one where every dance has gone perfectly, but that's kind of the point. Falling over comes as standard. The one guarantee? FUN. CathSoc is one of the active faith societies at the University, aiming to support Catholic students through their University lives and helping

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Pharmacy students CathSoc get their groove on get warm Wellcome Gaelic Ailbhe Rees, CathSoc Chair, explains what

ccording to the website ‘Wellcome Collection is a free visitor destination for the incurably curious.’ Hence why the the Wellcome Collection in London is the perfect starting point for the PSA trip! Pharmacists are very curious people! On 26th February we will explore ‘the connections between medicine, life and art in the past, present and future’ and dive into Sir Henry Wellcome’s world. During his lifetime he collected over a million objects from the broad field of medicine and founded a charity in 1936, which still hugely supports research into animal and human health. Thanks to financial help from the SU Special Request Fund, we could offer this trip to our members for as little as £5! We are looking forward to a guided tour through the exhibitions ‘Medicine Man’ and ‘Medicine Now’ and as a display called ‘High Society’ which is all about mind-altering drugs.

them to grow through their faith. This year (before the one held on 6th March) we had one of our mostsuccessful Ceilidhs ever! As well asrunning the Ceilidhs and Retreats, we also have weekly meetings on Thursdays. Generally these are either faithbased and focused around prayer and reflection, or more social - this week we held a CathSoc-BANG! Quiz. You can also usually find a group of us at the 12:15 mass in the Ecumenical Chaplaincy Cenre on Sundays. This semester we're planning another Retreat and Ceilidh as well as a fullprogramme of Thursday events. I'm certainly looking forward to it!

efore I start trying to lure you into joining the Buddhist Meditation Society, I should first come clean and admit that I do not know how to levitate or use the power of thought to retrospectively change my exam grades on SAMIS. The best way I can think to describe meditation is ‘mindtraining’. We spend so much time working on our outer appearance and comfort, yet we pay so little attention to our way of thinking and feeling. Meditation is simply a method of training our mind to get beyond the reflexive, "thinking" mind into a deeper state of awareness. With some training, when the turbulence of distracting thoughts subsides and the mind becomes still, a deep happiness and contentment arises naturally from within. If you’re put off the idea of a religious society, don’t be. It isn’t one. The society is called Buddhist Meditation because we use Buddhist teachings and methods of meditation. Buddhism presents a neat package of tools for successful meditation practice, and a path to developing self-knowledge, peace and greater concentration.

Wow, we sure weren’t this chilled last time we checked our SAMIS page. However, the sessions do not incorporate the supernatural or faith aspects of the religion - there is no worship of deities or singing of mantras – we simply learn the methods of meditation and with time, feel the benefits. Go to : http://www.bathstudent.com/socs/ societies/BuddhismMeditation/ to find out more. Come along and give it a try...i t’s mental! PS. Please do not wear heavy shoes in case you do start levitating. (The risk assessment doesn’t cover it.)

Monday 14th March 2011

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Activities

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Hypnotism: BodySoc success RAG fantastic or fraud? Sleepout O

The long-debated phenomenon is returning to the University of Bath in the form of Adam Night, a renowned comedy stage hypnotist. After his sell-out performance last year, all Bath University Students now have the rare opportunity to witness hypnotism or even by the star of the show and be subjected to hypnotism themselves.

Let’s just hope Adam’s better than Kenny Craig from Little Britain Comments from last year; ‘spectacular and hilarious’ and ‘a once-in-a-lifetime experience’ show that this unusual event, taking place on March 15th 2011 is definitely not to be missed. This year’s show aims to get anyone and everyone involved, whether you have an interest in hypnotism or just want a good laugh and bridge the gap between all activities and societies. Tickets cost £5. The show starts at 8pm in the University hall on the Campus. Tickets will be on sale on Parade outside the library on Wednesday the 9th March from 1-3pm and on Thursday the 10th and Friday the 11th from 11am-1pm.

he Sleepout is an event run every year by Bath RAG, where participants are sponsored to spend a night sleeping in cardboard boxes on Parade in order to raise money for the Bath homeless charity Julian House and raise awareness of the problem of homelessness in Bath. It is traditionally held on the Thursday closest to the November/December boundary, but this academic year that night happened to play host to temperatures of -9C. The event therefore had to be postponed until Thursday 24 February, to coincide with Student Volunteer Week. After being treated to a series of performances by Bodysoc, including a combination performance alongside Breakdancing and a rendition of the chimney sweeps’ tap dancing sequence from Mary Poppins, we got to work building temporary accommodation out of cardboard. RAG enthusiast, Alice Keel, worked with a couple of friends in order to build a cheerful, quaint house with wrapping paper to give the impression of windows; outside it were a tree and Alice’s favourite anime character, both fashioned from cardboard. A group of freshers set up camp outside 2 East, with their house adorned by more wrapping paper windows, columns that supported a proper entrance and a sign reading “2 East 2.1o – please sponsor us!”. Naomi Mackrill, Katie Colthurst and VP Activities and Development Ann Howell opted for the simpler design of colourcoded cardboard sleeping bags (in addition to actual sleeping bags). Meanwhile, Gravity Vomit entertained us with one of their famous fire displays. At 11:00 the awards were announced – Alice Keel won Best Dressed Girl for her bright pink hair, James the fresher won Best Dressed Boy for his sheep-themed pyjamas (former bathimpact hack Alex Brown joked that people who were finding it difficult to sleep could count the sheep) and the “2 East 2.1oC” house won Best Cardboard House. On the night the Sleepout was originally supposed to run, the Bath Chronicle carried a warning from homeless charities that people would die on the streets that night. Just remember, some people can’t postpone. Special thanks to event organiser Ruth Jenkins for making all of this possible. Simon O’Kane

n Saturday 26th February, the University of Bath’s Dance Society (Bodysoc) went to Loughborough to compete in the LSU annual Dance Competition. Taking 41 dancers, they competed in the categories of Novice Hiphop, Advanced Jazz and Advanced Tap. They performed these three routines at the RAG Sleepout on Thursday 24th February, which were well received. It was Bodysoc’s second time to attend this event, and they were in high spirits as they left on the Friday afternoon for a weekend of fun, frolics and freestyling.

The BodySoc ladies strike a pose after their Jazz dance success With over 31 universities competing and more than 1000 dancers taking part, it was a tough competition from the start. Bodysoc did Bath University proud, showing a huge amount of support and enthusiasm throughout the weekend. Bodysoc were extremely successful in placing 3rd in the Novice Hiphop category, which was choreographed by Cherry Howarth, and all the dancers were very happy with the result. All their hard work paid off. These three routines can be seen in Bodysoc’s annual show The Fifth Element, along with many other performances from the 7th to 9th April.

Bathwick Hill Fun Run

Bathwick bots: runners don inventive costumes

nce again this year see the return of the Bathwick Hill Fun Run on Sunday 27th March (11:00 AM). This incredible event has run for the last 29 years and has seen over a thousand student run up Bathwick Hill on in the name of good fun, and to raise money for Romanian orphans. This is an event for everyone; for those serious runners there is the pride of being the first man or women to cross the finish line and the chance to raise the legendary Bathwick Hill Fun Run Trophy. (Let me tell you it is no small trophy.) For those less serious there is still the best dressed prize, which is always very hard fought for. Last year one

group made transformers outfits out of cardboard. When they were laying down they were cars, but then they stood up and become awesome running robots. Do you think you can top that? Lastly there is an amazing prize for the most sponsorship raised, so make sure you raise as much as possible as this prize is going to be the best one. To sign up simply visit the Volunteer Centre (in the 1E corridor), or just look out for one of our volunteers standing on parade. To sign up you will need to pay a £10 deposit, which you will get back once you hand in sponsorship of over £20. Easy as that. See you on the starting line

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Want to know more Komedia curry feast O about Islam?

ur annual 'Asian Night' will be held on Sunday 20th March at Komedia. This is by far our top event and is highly regarded throughout the University of Bath and by the BUASS committee and society alike. The event is a pure celebration of the Asian culture and provides all individuals with the opportunity to show off their talents and be in the spotlight for this one special night. We’ve got such a variety of events coming up and can promise that this is going to be a night you won’t want to miss! Ticket prices are either £6 (non-catered) or £13 (catered). We’ve got a great chef this year, who has worked for the Taj chain. All the food has been tried and tested and can be verified that it is to the very highest standard! The meal will be a three course, sit down meal and the menu has been confirmed to include: salad, raita (Indian yoghurt), Samosas, puri (Indian flatbread), rice, chhole (chickpea curry), chicken curryand Gulab Jamun (famous Indian sweet dish).

BUIS members celebrate Eid (which marks the end of the Ramadan fast) together The Bath University Islamic Society (BUIS) will be setting up a stall in front of the library on Thursday of Week 25 (24th March) from 12 noon to 2pm, following the stall set up on March 10th. Feel free to drop by for sweets and information on the society’s activities and upcoming events! Events in the next week include a lecture on Islamic civilization on the 14th of March and a trip to the Mosque Open Day on the 19th of March. Everyone is welcome to join in with these events (Muslims as well as non-Muslims). For further information on the times and venues, don’t forget to drop by our stall or check out the BUIS event calendar online! Hopefully see you there!

Please purchase tickets online at http://komediabath.ticketsolve.com/ shows/126513338/events or visit our bathstudent.com page for more information. We hope to see you soon! BUASS

Pygmalion overshadowed by My Fair Lady? Unlikely!

ast Thursday night saw the start of a three day run of G.B Shaw’s Pygmalion, performed by BUST, at the charming Mission Theatre tucked away on Corn Street. This rendition of Shaw’s popular classic about a flower girl who is turned into a lady by Higgins, a professor of phonetics in what could be considered as a Victorian make-over, displayed the sort of talent one would expect from a professional cast with all performances revealing the wit and cleverness of Shaw’s writing to the full.

Shaw described the play as ‘a romance in five acts’ although I think it’s fair to say he lied about the romantic part. Will Chilcott’s portrayal of Higgins conveyed the anti-sentimental nature of the play so well that when Eliza rejects her mentor to the admission from Higgins that she has ‘wounded him to the heart’, the audience is in shock from the discovery that he has one. Such a cold intellect is often in need of a softening influence and here Jon Greenwell assumed the role of affable sidekick, Colonel Pickering. The first experiments are clearly

flawed when Frankenstein unveils his monster at his mother’s home, who uses perfect enunciation to speak the language of the gutter. This is where Eliza has spent her whole life and thus, in Higgins’s opinion, makes her devoid of any true feelings. Cara Ballingall’s comic instinct, as Eliza, was unerring and her flawless cockney accent gave a sense of the true scope of Eliza’s transformation into a beautiful swan, while Ian Jasper’s portrayal of her undeserving father stands as proof that money can, in fact, buy unhappiness.

Alexandra Webster stood for no nonsense as Higgins’s imperious mother, and while Higgins appears to be omniscient when hearing an accent, in the presence of his mother he demonstrates the psychological maturity that he initially expects from Eliza. Director Putu Khorisantono chose to end the play with Shaw’s subtle conclusion, in which Higgins’s laughter camouflages the desolation of the artist abandoned by his own creation. Shaw states that ‘the rest of the story need not be shown in action’. But for those

of us who have enfeebled our imaginations by depending on the ready made stock of happy endings that are so commonly shown, let me enlighten you. Eliza chooses Freddy over Higgins and in so doing maintains her independence, which is where the play’s comedy and pathos rest; Higgins’s triumph is also his downfall. This production was a huge success and I eagerly wait to see what BUST’s next spectacle, Caryl Chruchill’s Blue Heart, running from 24th-26th March at The Museum of Bath at Work, will deliver.

the chilling ‘living museum’ quality of the area fades. We were greeted with a warm welcome and receptive attitude at the Sinn Féin office, and similarly later at the Stormont Parliament buildings; a splendid location with an extremely controversial past, but now where ‘normal politics’ can seep into relationships previously based around violent conflict through democratic representation.

Our second day was enthralling; a taxi-driven tour with an active representative from each side gave a humbling insight into some of the worst-affected areas of Belfast; window-less houses (to prevent bulletvulnerability) stand next to ominous ‘peace-walls’ which carve up the city and countless memorials to the hundreds of victims of the violence. Merely a few years ago it would have been unthinkable that our guides would have even peacefully greeted each other, but now they worked together; complementing the other’s stories and examples to provide us with a fascinating insight. Even though the all-access pass enabled by being part of a politics society enhanced the tourist experience, I certainly understand why so many millions pay Belfast a visit; a footfall that must continue so the past can remain just that.

Bath Politics students do Belfast

ou might have thought the phrase ‘All Publicity is Good Publicity’ would have met its match in the city of Belfast and its relevant tourism authorities, however the capital of Northern Ireland attracted 9.3million tourists in 2009 (compared to a resident population in Belfast of around 500,000), and the initial figure is rising steadily. It is certainly a place that few (in the UK at least) will have heard of; countless hours of news coverage in the not-too-distant past make sure of that, however its chequered past. The 3 decades up to 1998 of brutal violence and conflict between hugely proud and resolute groups known as the ‘Troubles’ has now given way to an encouraging (if uniquely balanced) peace, and it is for this reason that a group of the University’s Politics Society students paid a visit, organised by society Chairman Ben

Munnings. A 5.15am pick-up in Bath to get to Bristol Airport allowed for two full days in Belfast, and the first portsof-call were the offices and museum of Sinn Féin (the former political ‘wing’ of the Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA); now the main political entity for the Republican, Irish unification-seeking community). Setting out on the short journey, straight from our student-area hos-

tel we entered Sandy Row; a staunch Unionist community (supporting Northern Ireland’s affiliation with the UK), and it was here that we encountered one of the enduring features of Belfast; the murals. These huge paintings that adorn buildings across both communities can range from the threatening to the heart-warming to the poignant; later we would see the ‘Mona Lisa of Belfast’ with a balaclava-wearing marksman who follows you with his assault rifle, next to a colourful children’s painting appealing for a sparing of the innocent young from violence. The quantity of murals in the city, along with the menace displayed within them, is decreasing now with the seemingly stable (if infantile) peace, but with this encouragement for those seeking a brighter future for Belfast comes a slightly selfish feeling of disappointment, as

Monday 14th March 2011

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Sport

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Comments

A healthy balance? Dan Eagles bathimpact Reporter

uring our current national trends of childhood obesity, higher education cuts and continued sporting hysteria, the question of sport’s impact on our educated youth has perhaps never been more relevant. While our government blindly pumps money into sport - with the assumed belief that professional, elite sports will magically inspire and energise young adults and children into achieving excellence at school - I propose that such claims, both in theory and in practice, lack substance. I believe there to be three main ‘arguments’ behind such financial and social investments into sport; commonly appearing among PE teachers, coaches and , unfortunately for our current generation, the new Conservative Head of Education. These, as I’m sure you have heard before, are ‘sport is character building’ (self-development through gained personal and life skills), ‘sport is healthy’ (and a healthy body means a healthy mind) and, lastly, ‘sport is fun’ (enjoyment that energises individuals and provides a helpful break from studying). Indeed, it is not uncommon for such understandings to be used to promote the ‘education value’ of sport. All of these arguments, I feel, lack theoretical and practical grounding, and the reasons lie in the true nature of modern sport. The institution of sport, during our current modern era in the western world, has a number of underlying characteristics. Firstly, it is highly stratified, meaning its participants (players, coaches, executives etc.) are divided and grouped by status and power; the chairman being at the top of the pyramid and the players at the bottom, for example. This hierarchical system keeps the powerful in control by providing a higher category for each group to strive towards; reproducing itself over time and keeping the lower groups from rebelling. Indeed, this system is the chosen approach for sports clubs and - not too dissimilarly - militaries throughout the western world; the behaviour of authoritarian coaches and corporate shareholders in modern football being prime examples. Secondly, sport is, as required for a stratified system to function, primarily focused on performance. The financial rewards, global media coverage and social significance of success in modern sport has meant that winning far outweighs anything else. In fact, even physical education or lower levels of competitive sport share these under-

lying traits, as the more able and successful children receive social status and popularity while the lesser able children are usually picked last and have to deal with the embarrassment, shame and social consequences of losing that have become part of our sporting culture. Indeed as my examples have shown, and as much of the general public I’m sure have experienced, these regimented characteristics are common place within sport and physical education. Through this light, the three primary beliefs behind the naïve adoption of sport as an educational aid are highly ambiguous. ‘Character building’ may be partly true for the minority of highly successful and therefore confident and responsible individuals, but for the most part working within the hierarchical system of sport merely teaches forced conformity and blind faith in one’s superiors; skills that can hardly be considered as positive selfdevelopment. Furthermore, due to the pressure of performance, focus on sporting success and conformity to the coach/teacher’s orders, injuries and dangerous play are also a frequent occurrence, questioning the truth behind the assumptions of sport as a healthy activity. The average life expectancy of American Football players, for instance, is shocking to say the least. Lastly, coupled with the previous arguments, the idea of sport being enjoyable, bearing in mind the social ratifications and potentially dangerous and authoritative environment that children and young adults are placed in within sport and PE, is also largely flawed. The truth is that for in order for one team to win, the other must lose. And if - and quite possibly so - a number of those winning players have underperformed, acquired an injury or have been undermined or exploited by their coach/teacher, they too would experience very little enjoyment, resulting in very few feeling satisfied. Clearly the existence of fun, healthy and rewarding sporting environments is hugely questionable. This, coupled with the already ambiguous idea of sport as a positive influence on behaviour and performance within education, must surely highlight the need for change! If sport and education are to work in tandem, the institution of sport must first change its performance-focused, segregating ways; moving towards a more humanistic and relaxed means of functioning, particularly through physical education. At the very least our political, teaching and coaching populace should think critically about their thoughtless assumptions and, consequently, misguided regimes that have such a prevalent effect on our national youth.

Still fighting the fees

he planned introduction of the £100 Sports Fees has seen a massive student reaction. So far 1400 students have signed the petition, almost reaching the target of 1500. With the recent permanent closure of the 25m pool there is even more reason to fight the fees. If you are opposed to paying £100 for sport at Bath please sign petition found on the “Against the £100 Sports Fee” Facebook group. There has been some confusion over the fees which needs clarification. Firstly, the fee is not being implemented or supported by the Sports Association. The Sports Association is the branch of the Students Union which runs the majority of

student sport at the university. The fee (if you choose to pay it) is going to the Sport Department which runs the facilities on campus; your student clubs will see none of the money. It is designed to “enhance the student experience” by offering new facilities, priority booking and a student and staff only slot weekday lunchtimes when outside users will not be allowed access to the facilities. However the overwhelming feeling we have received from the majority of students is that their sporting experience would be improved by keeping things as they are, and by not paying the £100 fee. This is especially true of recreational users. There will also be a pay-and-play option which would not require you to pay the £100; this should be announced shortly. Gym membership is not included in the fee.

We believe there is still the potential for a U-Turn by the university on these fees, and so we will continue to fight them. At the same time it is important we work with the Sport Department to ensure that if they do come in you get as much as possible for your money. Obviously if students are paying £100 we would expect to never have to train in conditions like the “Shit patch”, and to see a stop to the ridiculous number of IDFC cancellations. We need to know what else you want improving, and the easiest way to do this is to fill out the survey found on the “Against the £100 Sports Fee” Facebook group. If you have any further questions or anything to add on Sports Fees please don’t hesitate to contact either Andy Crawshaw (susport) or the SA Exec.

The Toronto Raptors team that recently faced the New Jersey Nets at London’s O2 Arena.

A UK NBA franchise? Ioannis Costas bathimpact Reporter

s the clock struck 8pm on Friday 4th March, the O2 Arena’s mass of eager spectators witnessed a historic event: the first official NBA league game in Europe. The Toronto Raptors faced the New Jersey Nets in a tight clash which saw the Nets take the win in the final five minutes. Both teams played again on Saturday, this time treating basketball enthusiasts to a thrilling triple-overtime in which the Nets narrowly edged out the Raptors 137-136. For those who don’t follow the game, the matchup is roughly equivalent to the Premier League rearranging the Blackpool – West Ham fixture to take place in Washington DC. Com-

parisons aside, this event has added yet another log to the fiery debate concerning whether the NBA should have a franchise in England. Yes, you read correctly. In England. Putting aside that the NBA sports a gruelling 82 regular season game calendar spanning from October to April, can players realistically also deal with flights across the Atlantic? London to Miami is an 8 hour endeavour, however, America is not precisely what one would call small. New York to Los Angeles is about a 5 hour trip. Therefore teams would be expected to deal with jet-lag, fly across continents, would often have to play three games a week, and still perform at the same level they do now. On another note, setting up an NBA franchise in England makes no sense due to the minute amount of followers the game has. Don’t get me wrong – I am all for promoting the sport. Just that I’d rather do it properly and would

prefer to spend the cash teaching kids about it instead of effectively robbing them at gun point with match entrance fees. As a spectator on Friday I was bewildered to witness how the commentator intermittently explained random basic rules of the game. To be honest, having paid £50 to get in, I expect people to know what they have come to watch. Moreover, the fans clearly did not know who to support. Every time a player stepped up to take a free throw, the crowd would boo them and then if the shot was successful, would cheer. All in all, the NBA has got to sort its life out and stop dreaming up foolish ideas. If it is stubborn about setting up a European franchise, it should do so in a country where basketball is a major sport, such as Spain or Greece. At the end of the day, there is no difference between this and the English Rugby Football Union wishing to set up a team in China. Good luck with that.

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www.bathimpact.com RESULTS (2/3/2011): Group A- Physics 4, Architecture 1. Economics 3, Natural Sciences 0. MoLES 0, BUMS 1. Management 1, Sports Science 1. Group B- Computer Sciences 0, Electrical Engineering 0. Pharmacy 0, Biology 4. (9/3/2011): Group A- Natural Sciences 1, MoLES 3. Archictecture 2, Management 1. Chemical Engineering 1, Economics 4. Sports Science 0, BUMS 2. Group B- Mechanical Engineering 2, Coach Education 0. Chemistry 2, Team Maths 1. FIXTURES (16/3/2011): Group A- Sports Science v Chemical Engineering, Natural Sciences v Architecture, BUMS v Physics, Economics v MoLES. Group B- Biology v Team Maths, Electrical Engineering v Pharmacy. (23/3/2011) Group A- MoLES v Chemical Engineering, Physics v Economics, Management v BUMS, Architecture v Sports Science. Group B- Comp. Sciences v Mechanical Engineering, Coach Education v Chemistry.

Bath’s rowers had a very successful weekend at the BUCS Championships in Peterborough.

Success for rowers at BUCS Chris Clements bathimpact Reporter

he weekend of 19/20th February saw Bath University Boat Club take 66 rowers to Peterborough for BUCS 4s and 8s Head. The club had a very successful weekend, putting in some remarkable performances and winning a record 27 BUCS points. This included five top six finishes in Championship events, and placed us fifth out of the 45 competing universities; an achievement made all the more impressive by a limited budget and lack of club coach. The successes were underlined by the amazing team spirit shown by the whole club throughout the weekend – an enormous (and very noisy) club presence on the riverside gave a huge buzz to all those racing. The Saturday saw 36 novices competing in the Beginners Head. There were strong results throughout, showing a great strength and depth in both the men’s and women’s squads. The

highlight was a 10th place finish for the novice women’s 1st 8. The men’s 1st and 2nd 8s finished 17th and 20th respectively, and the women’s 2nd 8 finished 22nd, our best results in recent years. This year has seen a particularly exciting intake of novices, and the results are an indication of some great potential for the Boat Club as we move into regatta season. Sean Bathe-Taylor, Nick McMullan, Ali Gregory and Jack Cadman kicked off Sunday’s racing in the men’s Champ coxless fours, finishing an impressive fourth. Will Stride and Rob Ashburner then joined Cadman and McMullan for the men’s Champ quads, and continued the good form of the day with a fifth place finish. Later in the day all six were joined by Florien Cointet, Tom Symons and Jude Rice (cox) for the Championship eights’s event. They produced a very credible sixth place; a strong result despite fatigue from earlier races and a very competitive field featuring, amongst

others, Cambridge University’s blue boat, racing in preparation for The Boat Race in four weeks’ time. The women’s coxless four of Gabby Rodriguez, Charlotte Lang, Ailsa Buck and Nicki Godbold finished fourth in the Champ event though illness caused a late change in the crew line-up. They then went on to match the men’s quad, finishing fifth in women’s Championship quads. The Women’s Intermediate four was also affected by the late changes, but pulled together to bring in the only medal of the day with a 3rd place finish. The weekend showed that although we may not have the best funded Boat Club in the country, dedication and team work can take you a long way. We now look forward to the summer racing season with confidence from this weekend, all ready to break more records and write more CrewBath history at BUCS and Henley Regattas!

Group A

W D

GF GA

Pts

MoLES (Q)

Economics (Q)

BUMS (Q)

Management

Chem. Eng

Architecture

Sports Science

Nat. Sciences

Physics

Group B

W D

Pts

Mech. Eng.

Team Maths

Biology

Coach Ed.

Chemistry

Comp. Sci

Pharmacy

Elec. Eng.

IDFC round-up Joe Dibben bathimpact Sports Editor MoLES, Economics and BUMS secured their places in the last eight of the IDFC with wins over Natural Sciences, Chemical Engineering and Sports Science respectively.

Management currently occupy the final quarter-final berth but have played more games than all of their rivals. Group B as yet remains very tight, with four from Mechanical Engineering, Team Maths, Biology, Coach Education and Chemistry set to qualify.

Valiant Bath defeated by Solent Ioannis Costas bathimpact Reporter

Action from Bath’s 42-57 defeat against Southampton Solent.

ath Women’s put on a vibrant display despite losing to first-placed Southampton Solent in a terrific showdown at Founder’s Hall. As the penultimate game of the season for the home squad commenced, Captain Becky Stevens emphatically blocked Solent’s first shot of the game. Rejection certainly is a hard thing to deal with; so hard that Bath dominated Southampton until the last 2:42 of the quarter. Up to that point the locals put on a defensive clinic, successfully neutralising what must be one of the best players in Western Conference 2A. At roughly 6’2” Solent’s centre was the team’s fulcrum who could shoot from anywhere on the floor, drive, post up and even more dangerously, was an excellent passer. The second quarter featured Solent

capitalising on their 11-16 lead by using their run-and-gun offense in which they would intercept Bath’s passes and hit them on the counter. With 6:40 left on the clock and Southampton breaking away at 13-24, the locals needed to regroup. As a result of their time-out, intensity soared, emulating the highcalibre basketball displayed in the first quarter. By the time Bibi hit four consecutive free throws in the final seconds of the half, Bath were only 7 points away from the league-leaders: 21-28. Although the game had been brilliant so far, the best was yet to come, as evidenced by an enthralling third quarter. Bath’s defence locked Solent down, pressuring the ball carrier and keeping their 2-3 zone air tight. As a consequence, the team would then pelt towards the opposing basket, attempting to score before Southampton could set up. By the time the score was level at 30-

30, the visitors called a time-out as a means of damage control. Spurred on by it, Solent elevated both their offence and defence, culminating in a 32-40 result at the end of the third quarter. Unfortunately for Bath, their opponents kept this intensity throughout the final 10 minutes. Combined with Southampton’s towering centre who scored even though she was double and triple teamed, Bath had run out of energy due to their high-octane performance in the other quarters. As the clock wound down, the 4257 score was an ill-reflection of how tremendous the game had been. Captain Becky Stevens stated it was a disappointing result, especially after having challenged in the first three quarters. “Tiredness and fear of shooting” were factors Bath struggled with in the fourth quarter, as well as “Solent’s aggressive style of play”.

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bathimpact’s guide to BUCS 2011

The country’s biggest university sporting event of the year starts this week in Sheffield - Joe Dibben tells us what to look out for Joe Dibben bathimpact Sports Editor

ome of the best sportsmen and women that the country’s universities have to offer will be heading to Sheffield this week for the annual British Universities and Colleges Sports (BUCS) Championships. This season, 19 sports will be in action

over seven days of competition. The City of Sheffield will witness some of the best athletes in the country competing in world class sporting venues. The BUCS Championships bring together thousands of students who will be competing in individual championships or their team sport finals after a season long campaign. Some great BUCS finals are expected in

sports such as hockey and netball while sports such as judo and climbing will see hundreds of students fighting for individual glory. Bath are well represented across a wide range of events, and our athletes will be hoping for success as the university looks to earn valuable points and preserve second place in the final BUCS table.

The full schedule for the week ahead is below- bathimpact wishes Bath’s competitors all the best! If you’re participating in this year’s BUCS Championships, either individually or with a team, let bathimpact know how you get on! We want to feature your news and your stories. For more details contact Sports Editor Joe Dibben (jcd22@bath.ac.uk).

ENGLISH INSTITUTE OF SPORT (1) Futsal: Men’s & Women’s Championship Finals, Men’s Trophy Finals14th-16th March. Fencing: Men’s & Women’s Championship Semis & Finals, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 18th March. Table Tennis: Men’s & Women’s Championship Semis & Finals, Men’s Trophy Finals18th March. Basketball: Men’s & Women’s Championship Final 8’s, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 18th-20th March. Badminton: Men’s & Women’s Championship Semis & Finals, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals19th-20th March. Judo: Individual Championships- 19th-20th March.

MOUNT ST MARY’S COLLEGE (4) Lacrosse: Men’s & Women’s Championship Finals, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 17th March. Ultimate Frisbee: Outdoor Championships19-20 March.

ABBEYDALE SPORTS CENTRE (5) Hockey: Men’s & Women’s Championship Finals, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 17th March.

PONDS FORGE INTERNATIONAL SPORTS CENTRE (2) Netball: Championship & Trophy Finals- 16th March, Conference Cup Finals (Northern, Midlands, Western & South Eastern)- 17th March. Karate: Individual Championships- 19th-20th March.

3 DON VALLEY STADIUM (3) Football: Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 17th March.

French tennis player Nicolas Mahut, who famously lost 70-68 in the final set of an 11-hour long first round tie at Wimbledon last year, is set to feature at the AEGON ATP Challenger tournament taking place in the University of Bath’s STV from March 19th to 27th. The current world number 93 will be relieved to know that his opponent from that match, John Isner, will not be present. The entry list is impressive though, with former Russian top 20 player Dmitri Tursanov and Luxembourg’s Giles Muller, ranked 108 in the world, also taking part. The event is free for spectators.

France’s Nicolas Mahut

Netballers slip to home defeat

Marathon man Mahut in Bath

WEST PARK RFC Rugby League: Men’s Championship, Trophy & Shield Finals- 17th March. NORTHERN SNOOKER CENTRE & EXCELSIOR SNOOKER CLUB Snooker: Individual Championship & Trophy, Team Championships, Trophy, Shield & Plate- 18th-20th March. ALL SAINTS CLUB Volleyball: Men’s & Women’s Championship Final 8’s, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 18th-20th March. CLIMBING WORKS Climbing: Individual Finals- 19th March. STAVELEY RIFLE CLUB Rifle: Short Range Team & Individual Finals- 19th-20th March. GRAVES TENNIS CLUB Tennis: Men’s & Women’s Championship Semis & Finals, Men’s & Women’s Trophy Finals- 19th-20th March. CONCORD SPORTS CENTRE Trampolining: Championship Finals- 19th-20th March.

A devastating second quarter slump played its part in Team Bath’s first home defeat of the 2011 Fiat Superleague season by 49-52 to Northern Thunder in front of a capacity crowd; captain Pamela Cookey scoring 31 of Bath’s points in a disappointing display. Team Bath now continue their tough run of three consecutive matches against the Fiat Superleague’s other top teams so far this season. They take on Mavericks at home on 18th March at 7.30pm, followed by an away fixture on 26th March to Surrey Storm.

Silver for Okoro at Euro Champs University of Bath French and Politics graduate Marilyn Okoro won a silver medal at the recent European Indoor Athletics Championships in Paris. She was a member of the GB 4×400m relay quartet that won silver behind Russia on Sunday. She also finished fifth in the 800m final. Elsewhere, University of Bathbased hurdler Lawrence Clarke just missed out on a place in the 60m hurdles final- his time of 7.74 seconds wasn’t quite quick enough to secure him a position.

impactsport

Could an NBA franchise based in the UK actually work? Comments, p25 Monday 14th March 2011

Team Bath Futsal lose ground in the race for the playoffs

»»FA National Futsal League, Midlands Division: Team Bath 4-4 Loughborough Joe Dibben bathimpact Sports Editor

eam Bath were held to a draw by big rivals Loughborough University in the FA Futsal League Midlands Division on Sunday 6th March, a result which meant Sion Kitson’s side lost ground on the other playoff contenders Team United Birmingham and Chippenham. Bath, who remain unbeaten in the league, started well and had a good chance on five minutes when Sion Kitson prodded wide. Loughborough, who realistically needed a win to keep up their own playoff push, had come to the Founders Hall with a distinct game plan; to disrupt Bath’s normal rhythm. Michael Skubala’s side were pressing Bath high up the court and were having success on any occasion where Bath were unable to shift the ball quickly. Sure enough, through doing just that, Loughborough took the lead as William Rooke fired the ball low to Dix’s left on 8 minutes. Kitson’s side were still on the back foot, but were nevertheless able to conjure up a quick response- fantastic fast play between Canham and Parkes flicked the ball into the path of Jennings, who was able to finish past

Bath’s Ian Parkes threatens early on in Team Bath’s 4-4 draw with Loughborough. Loughborough keeper Robert Webb the second period, and were rewarded had to push for the victory. With less when Jennings grabbed his second than a minute left, Bath were awardand equalise for Bath on 11 minutes. The away side were still in the of the game on 24 minutes, putting ed a ten metre penalty after Loughascendancy though, and deservedly the ball into an empty net after Kit- borough had accumulated six fouls took a lead into the half-time break. son’s effort at the back post had been on the foul count. Unfortunately, Kitson’s effort On 17 minutes, possession was care- blocked. The home had the wind in their wasbeaten away by Webb, before lessly given away by Bath on the right-hand side of the court, before sails at this point, and duly took the Parkes saw a header bounce off the Pete Vallance finished past Dix to give lead soon afterwards, as Parkes toe- crossbar just moments later. In the Loughborough a 2-1 advantage at the punted the ball past Webb to make dying seconds, the home side could the score 3-2 on 29 minutes. Al- have lost the game had it not been for break. Bath looked stronger at the start of most immediately though they were an heroic last-gasp save from Lima afpegged back as Seth Burkett finished ter a n abrupt Loughborough counter past Lima just a minute later, before attack. FA FUTSAL LEAGUE MIDLANDS DIVISION A draw was by no means a disasLoughborough took the lead through P W D L GF GA Pts Rooke’s tidy finish with just six min- trous result for Team Bath, who still Team United Birmingham 8 7 1 0 56 15 22 have to play their two biggest playutes remaining. Chippenham 7 5 1 1 56 25 16 Kitson called a timeout almost im- off rivals, Team United Birmingham TEAM BATH 7 4 3 0 34 21 15 mediately after Bath went behind, and Chippenham, in two of their next knowing that this was a game his side three games. Kitson’s side are next in Loughborough University 8 3 1 4 44 37 10 could not afford to lose in the hunt for action when Hereford visit the FoundHereford 7 1 1 5 27 39 4 the end of season playoffs for the Na- ers Hall on Sunday 13th March. Team Newbury 6 1 0 5 30 70 3 Team Bath: Dix, Lima, Ingram, tional Championship. With just four Cardiff Cymru 7 0 1 6 22 61 1 minutes left, Jennings’ magnificent Kitson, Jennings, Parkes, Canham, pass to the back post found Canham Bourdin, Eagles, Yilmaz. Remaining Team Bath fixtures: 13/03- TEAM BATH v Hereford, Loughborough University: to get Bath back on to level terms. 27/03- TEAM BATH v Team United Birmingham, 03/04- Chippenham v Team Bath knew though that a Webb, Ballesteros, Burkett, Davies, TEAM BATH, 08/05- TEAM BATH v Team Newbury, 15/05- Cardiff Cymdraw would have been two points Dyson, Johnson, Kurrant, Ostrick, ru v TEAM BATH dropped rather than one gained, and Reed, Robertshaw, Rooke, Vallance.

»»The BUCS Championships 2011 are coming! Check out the guide on page 27 for more details

Inside impactsport BUCS success for Bath rowers Chris Clements reports back to bathimpact after the university’s rowers manage fifth position overall out of 45 universities at the recent BUCS Championships event in Peterborough. See page 26 to read more about how they got on

IDFC latest results The race for the playoff spots in the university’s Inter-Departmental Football Competition (IDFC) is hotting up, with BUMS beating MoLES 1-0 in a pivotal Group A clash last week. Group B continues to look like a very tight affair. See page 26 for all the latest results, fixtures and tables

Your sports comments Check out the latest news and views, including a piece written by Sports Association Executive Committee Chairman Chris Clements on the ongoing debate over sports fees. Go to page 25 and see what you think

impactsport needs you! Do you want to write a match report for your team? Do you have something to say about sport at our university? Interested in sports journalism, design or photography? Or even just passionate about sport in general? Get in touch! impactsport wants to hear from people like you! Contact the bathimpact Sports Editor (jcd22@ bath.ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get yourself involved and get your team, your views, your designs or your photography seen.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Eccentricity is not, as some would believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride... entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.â&#x20AC;? Edith Sitwell

Monday 14th March 2011

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Eccentricity:

www.bathimpact.com

EDITORIAL

Editor Gina Reay editor@bathimpact.com Deputy Editor Hannah Raymont deputy@bathimpact.com

bite Editors Caroline Leach features@bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie ents@bathimpact.com Publicity Officer Julia Lipowiecka publicity@bathimpact.com Chief Sub-Editor Sam Foxman subeditor@bathimpact.com Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151 Printed by Harmsworth Press Ltd.

Welcome to the sixth issue of bite. Our theme this fortnight is Eccentricity. Our lead article this issue looks at our theme and asks whether eccentricity can be a blessing to society or a cursed plague which will bring insanity to our nation. In less alarming news this fortnight heralds the arrival of a new food section with reviews and recipes for your culinary enjoyment. Over on the more arty side of things we bring you investigations into the world of badly translated computer games and we hunt down the most eccentric fashionistas that the University of Bath has to offer. And of course we’ve got all your usuals, Never Have I ever Ever, AV Positive, puzzles and if you need some cultural activities for the month ahead then go straight to The Guide on page 11. If you like what you see or fancy writing for us yourself then please get in touch; either by using the email addresses on the left or by coming along to one of our contributors’ meetings which take place fortnightly. Search for bathimpact on Facebook or Twitter for more information.

Contents Features Eccentricity: Gift or curse? Pages 2 & 3 Emo girls: a how-to guide. Page 3 Are you eccentric? Page 4 Never have I ever.... said no to sexual experimentation. Page 5 AV positive: adventures of a placement student. Page 7

Food A night out at Jamie’s... is one to remember. Page 8 Cakey Katie: White chocolate and raspberry tart. Page 9

The Guide

Written by Jessica Hicks and Esther Osarfo-Mensah

e all know someone who we would class as being an ‘eccentric’. That singled out individual who does not conform to normalities and is known for being either different or just plain odd. We tend to single out such people, perhaps due to a collectivised fear of the unknown. But what would we do without such unique characters? Undoubtedly, our world would not have such a diverse spectrum of personalities if these “strange” individuals did not exist to set trends for others to follow. Then again, we would not have revolutions and protest movements without an eccentric leader. We are fascinated by the eccentric. When our favourite celebrity personalities do something shocking, we rush out in our PJs to the nearest newsagent to read the latest OK! story or News Of the World breaking news article. Because their characteristics are very much unlike the majority of us, we become addicted. As we continue to follow their every move, their antics become stranger and stranger still (for a semi-recent example, cast your mind back to Britney Spears and her rather epic head-shaving episode). Of course, as the old adage goes, ‘all publicity is good publicity’ and the more eccentric celebrities’ antics are, the more publicity they get. In the end, their eccentricity makes them money, so why should anything change? Being an individual is always cool in the eyes of the masses, and naturally it is always lovely to be appreciated and acknowledged for being who you are, but there is a darker side. When someone is perhaps just a little too original and their views and behaviour clash with more mainstream bodies, violence or even a moral panic can be the sad result. Can the eccentric individual be blamed for the way their personality affects others? Or should their opinions be accepted as just that – a different point of view from what one is used to? Most typical eccentrics are not complete one-offs, however. Normally the only way in which their personality and views can remain is to have many predecessors who expressed a similar eccentricity. Perhaps the best example of this comes from past subcultures, such as mods and rockers, or the hippie movement. Mods and rockers were two eccentric groups that came to be in the 1960s. At the time, their outward eccentricity derived from two conflicting ideas about fashion; mods were trendy and fashion-forward whereas rockers preferred to wear anything made of leather. Without eccentric individuals breaking away from the norm and creating “mod” or “rocker” styles, these iconic groups would not have emerged. However, both groups had continuing conflicts and were sometimes violent to one another. In this example eccentricity had become a negative trait, which lead to prejudice and segregation. The hippie movement however emerged from a somewhat eccentric political viewpoint. If not “eccentric”, it was definitely unique, exciting and challenged the norms in which people were confined to. The musical subculture and peace ideology attracted many followers, some being so devoted that they would abandon their ‘normal’ lives to join. This does beg the question; do people solely follow eccentrics because they want to be a part of a new community? Most of the hippies at the time were young people, fed up with the world, created by their parents, that was filled with rules and regulations that felt old-fashioned and unfair. Although there is not any one innovator to which we can attach the “eccentric” label, the group shared eccentric ideas and lived very unusual lifestyles which many people outside of the hippie culture could not understand or value.

Upcoming gigs, comedy, films and exhibitions near you.Page 11

Fashion Bath Style - Our photographer kidnaps a girl for your pleasure. Pages 12 & 13 Leaving your Bath fashion bubble Page 12

Music How to make music from a toaster. Page 14 How to cope with losing your band. Page 15

Videogames Indie gaming will save your soul. Page 16 All your creative madness are not belong to us. Page 17

Film Why flash videos will restore your faith in the internet. Page 18

Literature William T Vollmann is more hardcore than you. Page 19

Puzzles Crossword, sudokus, brainteasers and cartoons. Page 20

Oscar Wilde: an original eccentric

bite-bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

Gift or curse?

Emo girls: a how-to guide Written by Sam Foxman

ull on the skinny jeans. Sling on that slightly incongruous shirt. Maybe you should try this look with the tie. Yeah. Put on the tie. Not seriously, obviously. A bit ironically, I suppose. If you weren’t so indifferent about everything the tie might be described as jaunty. But it’s not jaunty. It’s ironic. Now, check your hair. Does it look like you’ve made no effort with it? Check it again. Ok. It’s time for you to go out and pick up an emo girl. Don’t forget your notebook. Emo girls are a wonderful breed. Sadly for you broad-shouldered or round-bellied chaps who might hope to make an advance on this fine species, you are at a disadvantage. The first step in getting that emo girl with the big, sad eyes - you know the one I mean; she looks good in a hat - is dressing like the front man of an early noughties indie band. You’re Pete Doherty, but not on the drugs. But you should definitely look like you might be. Let’s go to a bar, or a fairly chilled out club. Moles is probably the best place in Bath. Sit in a corner and look like you don’t want to be there. Looking like you don’t want to be there is the most important part of the exercise. The emo girl loves the club, but she‘s got a great eye for pain. Now, you’re in the corner, looking like you hate the world. Get out the notebook. Write something. I wrote a haiku about the club, but any similar device will do, I’ve also got a sketch of an ‘ex-girlfriend’ because what the emo girl wants to do is fix you. This is ironic, because obviously they tend to be the more damaged party which is why they fall for this display in the first place. But that’s fine, because if you’re a proper indie man, irony alone gives you an erection. I am in the club, Wall to wall with idiots: My soul burns for love. Ok. There we go. You’ve got feelings. Loads of them. So many they’re spilling out into your notebook. The emo girl with the pretty face catches your eye. Look down sadly. That’s it. Imagine she’ll never love you. She’s coming over. This isn’t exciting, remember, it’s just another phase of disappointment in a tragic world where one person’s life is basically meaningless. Keep looking down until she speaks. “Hey.” Now shrug and nod at the same time. Don’t do it too quickly, it’ll make you look like a chicken. She’ll ask you how you are. You don’t know really: you’ve got so many feelings that to express one of them would be to undervalue your soul. Now, keep eye contact with her. Have sad, open eyes that speak to her of a life of tolerating everyone else and their useless animalistic shuffling towards death. Sigh. Now you can talk to her. Let her know that web comics and thinking everyone else is an idiot are the only two things that make you feel anything that she might recognise as happiness. Say something almost cute. Now bring up your ex and show her the notebook. Bathe her in your feelings. Invite her for a smoke. All emo girls smoke. That’s just a scientific fact, probably. While you’re outside, tell her that you secretly think the world is really beautiful, but that it’s really awful that people spoil it in the various ways that we all know that they do: by being shouty, by taking their tops off for the Baywatch theme, by breathing. Wonder out loud if you can ever love again. Tell her she’s beautiful. Done. Hannah Raymont

In fact history has shown that, without understanding, eccentricity has been difficult to tolerate. We’ve seen that such people, who cannot empathise with the eccentrics, bring down the movements by starting conflict. This leads to negative media attention, attaching a stigma to these individual and innovative factions. In the past, eccentrics have been used as scapegoats, where exploitative authoritative figures shift blame and hate onto these often rebellious and anti-social groups. As the idea of people belonging to a communal society was rife, minority groups and people who dared to challenge the norm were depicted as outcasts. This can be seen in the hippie, rocker and mod examples, as well further back in history, with the Christian ideals and the hate this brought about from the Roman society. Perhaps the most positive thing to emerge from the typical eccentric is innovative qualities. For example, writers and artists such as Oscar Wilde are adored for their work worldwide. Wilde’s style was very eccentric as it tended to sarcastically criticise English society, what people in that society were expected to do and how they were supposed to live. This made him a true innovator, very few people dared to behave in this manner. However, being an innovator and an eccentric in his time was possibly more of a hardship than it is today. He was sent to jail for being a homosexual, ultimately imprisoned for expressing his eccentric (at the time) beliefs. In other areas, such as the music industry, eccentricity is also encouraged. Eccentric performers such as David Bowie and Lady Gaga are idolised by the masses, their innovative flair transitioning into an intriguing stage act. Such innovators have the power and ability to change the music industry forever. Take the Beatles for example; their style influenced a generation which went on to form other sub-genres. Innovation can stem from eccentricity, and so an eccentric mind can create masterpieces. Without eccentricity in the world of science, we would probably still be huddling around poorly built fires, chasing after deer whilst they mock our lack of imaginative trapping methods. Nearly all the big players in the science community have had ideas too controversial to be accepted straight away by the masses, such as the strange idea of the Earth orbiting the Sun, and the craziness of evolution. Many were imprisoned or ostracized, some dying without any of recognition that they deserved. For every eccentric notion spouted by someone brave enough to think outside of the box, the world has been able to take another progressive step forward in areas such as healthcare, technology and space travel. According to a study by Imperial College London, odd and eccentric behaviour increases with age, but flamboyant behaviour becomes less pronounced. They suggest that it is not a good idea to keep world leaders who are fairly old in a position of power, arguing that such leaders are more prone to conspiracy theories. They use the example of Stalin, stating that he was completely paranoid by the end of his rule. We could also apply the same logic to a large bulk of the current trouble in the Middle East. Perhaps it’s safe to say that eccentricity definitely doesn’t mix with power. Some eccentrics are not appreciated in their time; the Oscar Wilde example being applicable here. This disconnect is probably related to time, and how cultures can change and adapt. Nowadays, we accept behaviour that would have been categorised as deviant about fifty years ago. Although the eccentric is still trapped within a variety of expectations, some manage to break though and become viewed as true innovators, influences, and even heroes.

Monday 14th March 2011

David Bowie explored eccentricity with his alter ego Ziggy Stardust Sam Foxman’s ex girlfriend is full of lies and bereft of soul

Monday 14th March 2011

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Could you be an eccentric? Written by Anishka Gheewala

mean to ask, are you “a person who has an unusual, peculiar, or odd personality, set of beliefs, or behaviour pattern”? According to the dictionary, this is what an eccentric is, though this definition comes from the 1800s; prior to that eccentricity was a term in astronomy, which meant “a circle in which the earth, sun, etc. deviates from its centre”. According to the Eccentrics Club in London (http://www.eccentricclub.co.uk) today’s definition of an eccentric has changed from its original meaning to convey negative connotations, for example thinking someone is just plain mad rather than an individual who pushes boundaries and seeks knowledge. The Eccentrics Club seeks to create a social network, and a friendly environment open to debate, new candidates and, of course, individuality.

“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, “I find it rather difficult to be sure who is being eccentric these days. ... I think Mark Twain had the right answer: ‘The rule is

for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” Bertrand Russell

perfect’, he said, ‘in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane”. HRH Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh in an address given in 1979 to the Eccentric Club, of which he is the Patron, .

“The English like eccentrics. They just don’t like them living next door.” Julian Clary

In fact, there are a few traits which distinguish the types of eccentricity that make people happy and those which are a mental disorder. These are: • nonconformity; • creativity; • strongly motivated by curiosity; • idealistic; wanting to make the world a better place and the people in it happier; • happily obsessed with one or more hobby horses (usually, five or six);

“There’s not much room for eccentricity in Hollywood, and eccentricity is what’s sexy in people.”

“It’s important to keep the eccentric spirit alive, because when that goes, the work will go.”

Rachel Weisz Nicholas Cage

Chazferret via Flickr

On a personal note, it looks like I’m a nutter. I actually get stressed when I haven’t done my washing-up, and think about it far too much until I get it done. I love to draw and paint (albeit badly), and I definitely want to do something to help people become happier, and though I am not sure how, I am extremely optimistic that I will. The question is, do you fit any of these categories? I am heading out to campus to find out! Suzy – I seem to fit three of these categories. I am nonconforming in terms of fashion, I like to sing loudly in public places because it seems inappropriate and I like the idea of saving Africa and making it a better place. Katie – My idol is Dolly Parton, I love Jane Austen and know everything about her, I think people should be introduced with an interesting fact about them; I made papier-mâché Teletubby heads in my spare time for a fancy dress event. James - I am literally obsessed with music, everything in my life revolves around my guitar. I write my own songs and want to make people happy by composing good music. I don’t like rules that I think are unnecessary so break them on occasions, with VERY good reason! Looks like we all should be heading to The Eccentrics Club! Anyone want to join us?

A hammer collection: eccentric or just weird?

Monday 14th March 2011

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Never have I ever… explored the world of sexual fetish Written by bite’s sex & relationship columnist

he dictionary definition of the word ‘fetish’ is “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasised presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression”. Basically something that makes you astonishingly, excessively and profoundly horny. The world of fetish seems to me to express sexual extremism and eccentricity to a tee. People get turned on over the strangest things that you and I would never normally associate with erotic pleasure. Fetish can be seen as strange and in many cultures even taboo, but I seriously do think that the phrase ‘whatever turns you on’ is quite appropriate here. Personally, I have never had the curiosity to explore the world of fetish, so maybe I’ll weigh up my options here and find a potential fetish to engage in at the weekend? Be warned, some of these practised fetishes are truly shocking! You’ve been a very naughty boy Spanking can be an easy way to turn love-making into a hardcore sex session. For most of us, this is just a few slaps on the arse and opportunity to yell ‘harder, harder’ which is always a naughty thrill enhancer. However for some people, spanking and inducing serious pain during sex is a massive turn-on. It is surprising how, for some people, pain and pleasure can go hand-in-hand. The idea of turning violent in the boudoir does scare me slightly however so I don’t think this is the fetish for me. That’s not to say that a little scratching and biting is completely out of the question though! Socks off please Foot worship is the most common of all fetishes and it is not unusual to come across someone with this obsessive interest. For those interested in casting feet as the protagonists in their next sex session, foot fetishists are particularly interested in the shape and size of the foot and toes, their treatment, their state of dress and, oh god no, their odour. According to my intense research, foot fetishists get off from admiring, touching, licking and sniffing

Don’t forget your protective eyewear.

feet. Several celebrities have even admitted to partaking in these delightful activities, including Elvis Presley, Britney Spears, Andy Warhol and Ricky Martin. Now, as much as I fancy all of the above, I would not in a million years let them lick my feet, I don’t think this practice is destined to be my preferred fetish. Just give it a long, hard blow Who would have thought that people can get turned on by balloons! Yes, that’s right, we live in a world where balloon fetishists (or ‘looners’ as they are also known) are floating around freely. According to my research, there are two different types of balloon fetishists “poppers” and “non-poppers”. Some of them get turned on by the act of popping the balloons whereas others get upset and teary at the thought and tend to avoid it at all costs, preferring to keep their companions fully inflated. Looners often enjoy blowing up balloons, sitting or lying on them or rubbing them. Fetishists love the anticipation that a balloon can pop if too much pressure if applied (an excitement that surely can be experienced in regular sex as well?!). This fetish seems too good to be true, I mean, it’s fun, colourful and I simply love party games, but unfortunately there is a downside to this practise too. Balloon fetishism is very dangerous and looners are encouraged to wear eye and ear protection to make sure that popping balloons do not cause eye damage or hearing loss. I was so close to indulging in some balloon fun during my next birthday party but the risks are just too high, I fear. Having looked into the three of the most common fetishes in the world, I just don’t think I’m ready to take up a new sexual hobby. As sexually liberated as I am, the thought of sexual violence is scary, cheesy feet obsession is smelly and naked balloon fun is just plain weird. Perhaps fetish is not a thing that can be chosen, it seems to me that the obsession that develops in fetishists develops over time and cannot be decided consciously. Maybe I’ll just have to wait for my new hobby to pop up, then in the meantime, I think I’ll just stick to the regular stuff!

Bite QUIZ: Guess the fetish! Test your knowledge of the fetish world with this match-up quiz! Answers at the bottom of the page. 1. Formicophilia 2. Plushophilia 3. Vorarephilia 4. Burusera 5. Hybristophilia 6. Macrophilia 7. Necrozoophilia 8. Emetophilia 9. Sitophilia 10. Frotteurism a) being sexually attracted to stuffed animals or people dressed in animal costumes b) attraction to dead animals c)being sexually aroused by used panties d) being sexually aroused by the thought of being eaten by someone, eating someone else or watching someone eat somebody else e) attraction to large or overweight people f) attraction to vomit g) arousal from rubbing against a non consenting person h) being sexual attracted to criminals i) sexual pleasure from insects crawling over the body, specifically on the genitals

Quiz answers: 1i, 2a, 3d, 4c, 5h, 6e, 7b, 8f, 9j, 10g.

Monday 14th March 2011

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AV Positive: adventures of a placement student Written by Sam Lawes

’m a third year Politics student on placement with Yes to Fairer Votes. Britain is having a referendum on the way we elect MPs, and Yes is campaigning for (unsurprisingly) a yes vote. At the polls you will be asked the following question: “At present, the UK uses the ‘first past the post’ system to elect MPs to the House of Commons. Should the ‘alternative vote’ system be used instead?” To answer such a question, it is important to know what the current system is and what the proposed improvement is. Whilst I’ll definitely be voting yes, it is important that people are familiar with both systems before being asked to choose between them. So here goes. A concise history of British politics and a game of piggy in the middle Our current system returns one MP per constituency. We all have a good look at each of the candidates who would like us to pay them £65,738 per year, and choose one. One will get more votes than the others – perhaps only a few more – and s/he gets the job. Usually no candidate will actually be chosen by most people. Its supporters say that it is simple, and that this is a virtue. People like me say that dictatorship is simpler, but that’s no reason to support it. Our current system was adopted in the 1600s, after the English Civil War. At the time, it was an innovation. It worked well enough, delivering Britain some good governments. Over time, however, elements of this system started to look out-of-date. In 1832, the Reform Act made a huge advance, meaning that as many as 1 in 7

Brits could vote. By 1872, further reform was needed: landlords were forcing their tenants to vote a certain way. The secret ballot was introduced. Then, after WW1, somebody pointed out that it might be nice if women could vote as well. In 1969, the voting age was lowered to 18. Today, the system is creaking again. It’s natural: our democracy evolves with our technology, our culture and our electorate. While the 1950s saw 95% of voters supporting one of two main parties, things have changed. We’re pickier about who we’re hiring to govern us; one in three of us don’t vote Labour or Conservative. Picture it as a game of piggy in the middle with slightly unfair rules: the voter is the piggy; they only get the ball once every five years; and they have to immediately hand it back. Simplistic? A little. Valid? Largely. The Alternative On May 5th we will be given the option of adding 2011 to the list of significant years in the history of British democracy. No campaigners will tell you why you shouldn’t, why there is no need for reform. Yes argues that society has become too varied for a two-party system. Bath constituents should have a genuine choice of candidates without being told that, unless we vote for the Lib Dems or the Conservatives, we’re wasting our time. AV forces candidates to seek majority support for the first time. How, I hear you ask? Back we go to our candidates and the £65,738 jackpot. Under AV, candidates will have to work harder for our support. Now they only have to motivate enough

The Yes team have a party

people like them to get more votes than the others. Conservative candidates, for example, concentrate on likely conservative voters and ignore the rest. Ideally, in fact, other voters should be discouraged from taking part at all – that way there is a lower number of votes to aim for. AV would force all candidates to reach out to the majority, and that means people who aren’t much like them, but who they seek to represent. They would have to create policies for the whole community. Democracy would become cleaner, more engaging and more inclusive. More democratic. And what about the vote itself? Easy: “First choice?” “Green.” “Second?” “Labour.” “Third?” “None, I don’t like the others.” If nobody wins a majority, the least favourite is given the thumbs down and their supporters are told: “Bad luck, but you’ll get your second choice.” These second choices would be counted, and one candidate would hopefully have over half the votes cast. If not, the next lowest would go, until someone had majority support. S/he would be duly elected MP. Simples. Check your next issue of bite for campaigning secrets, electoral gossip and a good rant about beer mats.

Campaigning on the streets of Bath

Monday 14th March 2011

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A night out at Jamie’s... is one to remember. Written by Kylie Barton

t was a Friday night, and we hadn’t booked, so we didn’t get our hopes up. However the staff at Jamie’s Italian were very accommodating and promised to have us seated in 45 minutes – they did it in 30. A great start! Whist waiting we were squished onto a table by the door and my dining partner fought her way to the bar up awkwardly placed stairs. The atmosphere certainly reminded me of the hustle and bustle of relaxed (or just disorganised) restaurants on the continent. We sat and drank our wine; I am not a connoisseur by any standards but the Ramato Pinot Grigio Delle Venezie Roe went down very well as an aperitif accompanied by the ‘world’s best olives on ice’ served with sundried tomato tapenade and crisp music bread, and as a person who doesn’t love olives... I was impressed. We were sitting in the draught from the door and had waiters and customers rushing past us, so at this point it felt more like a bar. Our name was shouted across the havoc and we were escorted upstairs where everything became a lot calmer to our delight. The building twists and turns and enters into huge dining spaces which are a pleasant surprise from the cramped entrance area off Milsom Place. Our wine was carried for us and we were seated in the corner of an elegant high ceilinged room with mirrors, decorative wallpaper and chandeliers – a much more civilised dining experience. We started with a ‘selection of top Italian breads’ including foccacia baked twice daily on the premises and sour dough from Jamie’s artisan bakery, dipped in olive oil and balsamic vinegar. The bread was enough to share to keep us interested until our starter arrived. We had gone for a ‘vegetable antipasti plank’ consisting of char-grilled seasonal vegetables (including aubergine and courgette), Italian

cheeses, pickles and salad. This was charged at £6.75 per head which I felt was a little pricey for the pretentious amount of food and the distinctly average quality. The way it was served however greatly amused us (after already polishing off one bottle of rose) – the plank was plonked on top of two tins of ‘Jamie’s special chopped tomatoes’, which led us to believe we had ordered incorrectly. For main came ‘scallop and squid ink angel hair pasta’, sadly the dish’s taste wasn’t as interesting as its name. The locally sourced scallops were delicious; the rest of the dish however was a bit bland. The second main dish ordered was ‘feather steak pounded with sage and prosciutto’ which was cooked perfectly and was well complimented by the rocket salad and tomato and chilli salsa that accompanied it. The atmosphere of the restaurant was a real treat, and the staff were more than happy to help us and give recommendations, all with a real smile. The food seemed to vary throughout the evening, all was well presented and rustically Italian, although some lacked the passionate flavour that the Italians are known for. On his website Jamie describes the ideas behind the design of the restaurant; “Jamie’s Italian was designed to be accessible and affordable, a place where anyone is welcome and everyone will feel comfortable, no matter how much you spend or how long you stay.” The Bath offering is not that accessible (as it is hidden away) but accommodating when you haven’t booked, is reasonably affordable, and most definitely a place where anyone can feel comfortable – enough so as to lean over and whip the waiter’s serving cloth out of his back pocket, and then continue to order another bottle of Italy’s finest. Fantastico. Would I go back? Yes if they let me! Our reviewer soaks up the atmosphere...

Been out for a meal in Bath recently? Tell us about it! Whether you had the worst meal of your life in the classiest joint in town, or you spent a blissful Sunday afternoon rediscovering the joy of a good pie in one of Bath’s many pubs, we want to hear from you. So put pen to paper, or fingers to a keyboard, and write us a review of around 500 words. Send us some pictures too and you could find yourself starring these very pages. Send your submissions to features@bathimpact.com or come along to a Contributors’ meeting. They take place fortnightly on Tuesday at 6.15 in 6E2.1. Our next ones are on March 15th and March 29th.

The ‘feather steak pounded with sage and proscuitto’

Monday 14th March 2011

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Cakey Katie: White Chocolate and Raspberry Tart Written by Katie Brown

Katie Brown

I’m Katie, a final year language student, and I’m a baking addict. It’s a great way to relax after a stressful day and it means you get lots of yummy treats without spending a fortune. So now I’m on a mission to bake at least one different dessert every week this year, posting the recipes and pictures on cakeykatie. blogspot.com. I’ll be sharing my favourites with you right here, starting with the most delicious thing I’ve ever made.

This is based on a white chocolate and cherry tart in Gregg’s Favourite Puddings, (written by Greg Wallace of Masterchef fame), but with one obvious twist – raspberries. For the base: 175g flour 125g unsalted butter 25g caster sugar 1/2 tsp of cinnamon For the filling: 2 eggs 40g caster sugar 150g white chocolate 300ml double cream A punnet of raspberries

Here’s how your tart should look before it enters the oven...

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1. Sift the flour and cinnamon into a bowl. Rub in the butter and sugar and knead until it becomes dough. Wrap in foil and chill for half an hour. 2. Preheat the oven to 200. Roll out the dough to line a loose-bottomed cake tin. Cover with foil and baking beans (or if like me you don’t have baking beans then use something heavy like lentils). Bake for 10 minutes. Remove foil and heavy things then bake for another 5 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 180. 3. MEANWHILE... beat the eggs and sugar together in a bowl, break the chocolate into a (different) heatproof bowl and heat the cream in a saucepan (serious multitasking!). Pour the cream over the chocolate and stir until the chocolate is melted and you have delicious chocolate goo. Pour over the egg/sugar mixture, stirring continuously. 4. Lick any remaining chocolate goo off the bowl/ spoon. 5. Remove the base from the oven; place the raspberries on top, then pour the chocolate mixture into the tin. 6. Bake for about 45 minutes until it looks like the picture on the right. 7. Gorge yourself on deliciousness.

And here’s how your plate of yummy deliciousness should look 45 minutes later!

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Monday 14th March 2011

Werner Herzog working out how to take a full steamboat over a mountain. He actually did do that for his 1982 film Fitzcarraldo.

Music

Theatre/Comedy

Exhibitions/Film

Infedelity vs Hi-Fidelity – Lakota, Bristol – 19th March If bass heavy dance tracks, glow sticks and STDs are your thing, then pop down to the Lakota in Bristol next week to find the hottest west country DJ talents performing. Acts include Mista Jam, Bar 9 and Skism with Rob Sparx headlining. Expect grunge dancing, sweaty bodies and enough alcohol to quench Charlie Sheen’s insatiable thirst. While it may seem a few miles out of the way, decent music and space to dance are rare commodities in Bath, a town so barren of enjoyable nightclubs it makes Area 51 look like Malaga, so it might well be worth that £4 train fare. Baaba Maal - St George’s Bristol – 21st March In between his seemingly endless invitations to perform at charity events, awareness gigs and embassy receptions Baaba Maal has somehow found time to write and release his new album Television and tour it across the UK. His generous mix of deep soulful vocals over a scatty beat track aren’t the sort of music you’d throw yourself around the living room to, but if you’re sat in a traffic jam, mulling over an essay or chilling out in the sun it’s absolutely perfect. It’s a gig that may come round once every decade or so, as his work as envoy for every charity in the world commands the majority of his time, so get yourself down to Bristol and see him while he’s here. James Blake – Thekla, Bristol – 23rd March A bizarre cross between John Mayer and Portishead, James Blake is the sort of artist that will have some people raving that he’s the next big thing, while others will simply shrug, screw their face up in a nonplussed expression and walk away. Expect people at the gig to be there by themselves, girating around the dance floor like they’ve been possessed by an inebriated Zebedee, or in small groups discussing in hushed whispers how the music industry doesn’t reflect genuine talent like his, each with a slightly manic look in their eye and a frightening defensiveness to any sign of musical criticism.

Sarah Millican – Ustinov Theatre, Bath – 28th March It’s notoriously difficult for a woman to break through onto the stand up scene in what is well known to be a male dominated profession. We’d like to make the observation that this is true of most people because it’s pretty hard to do well, although more terrible male standups do seem to make it through *coughJohnBishopcough*. It is utterly refreshing then to watch Sarah Millican, a bright and happy individual who, while still battering the same well trodden ground in her material, manages to do so with a wit and charm that surpasses many of her male counterparts, making her one of the hottest properties on the comedic scene this year. The Reluctant Debutant – Theatre Royal, Bath – 28th March Trying resolutely to resurrect the innuendo ridden humour of the 1950s, an age where all prejudice and hatred so openly ridiculed in modern comedy happened in reality behind closed doors and cigarette fumes, The Reluctant Debutant celebrates the more public side of this era. Filled with cheeky one liners and enough glamour to upstage a Marilyn Monroe revival show, this eccentric production will probably have those over 50 holding their sides in fits of laughter. Anyone else will probably spend the majority of the show balancing their time between yawning and identifying the underlying 1950s subtext, which highlights how most troubles in family life ended in domestic abuse. Les Liaisons Dangereuses – Redgrave Theatre, Bristol – 10th-19th March A dramatic French tale of lust, seduction, vengeance and betrayal. The opening words of Les Liaisons Dangereuses’ synopsis screams two hours of flamboyant dresses, passionate scenes and dodgy accents. Reviews complain about a lack of emotional depth and believability in the story, something that may put those hoping for a real tale to get their teeth into off buying a ticket. If you’re looking for bright lights, huge performances and enough sexual connotations to make a nun blush, however, you will probably love every second. Well worth checking out.

Follow-ed – Arnolfini Gallery – 3rd March-30th April As if to prove the point about the wild eccentricity of art, the Arnolfini Gallery depicts the story of a man who invites women to lie on a bed of salad, before pouring their choice of dressing all over them. As mad as a clown on LSD and twice as illogical, this exhibition will have those who love to subjectively interpret the intentions of the artist and announce it as expertly deduced fact, writhing in an absurd ecstasy, while anyone else will simply wash over the pieces with a puzzled look and wonder where the picture of the tins of beans got to. Limitless – Cinemas Everywhere – March 18th De Niro’s CV over the last decade proceeds in a rather eclectic manner, as if he couldn’t quite make the leap from typecast gangster to respectable versatility. Whether it’s his average comedy parenting in Meet the Fockers, or his unbelievable roles as master criminal or hardnosed cop, each subsequent role fills his fans with hopeful expectation before swiftly delivering relentless and disappointing mediocrity. His latest flick promises a similar pattern as he costars with the underwhelming Bradley Cooper in a film bordering on ludicrous. Filled with special powers, drugs and shady killers it’s a film that may be brilliant, or, more likely, just another average addition to an increasingly poor CV. Caves of Forgotten Dreams – Little Theatre, Bath – 22nd March The joy of the Little Theatre is the array of lesser known independent films it shows. Gems of the film festivals and heart tugging foreign films have graced the curtained screens in the past, making a visit more than a simple nostalgia trip to purchase ice cream in the interval. The latest one to be released is Werner Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams, a mesmerising journey in a subterranean world as he examines 32,000 year old artworks explaining their Palaeolithic origins and their impact on the world around us. He’s also doing a live satellite interview and he’s a legend. He once got shot during an interview and didn’t even flinch (seriously).

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Monday 14th March 2011

Werner Herzog working out how to take a full steamboat over a mountain. He actually did do that for his 1982 film Fitzcarraldo.

Music

Theatre/Comedy

Exhibitions/Film

Monday 14th March 2011

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Our photographer kidnaps a poor www.bathimpact.com

Photos and interviews

DAY 1 Got me a coonskin and lots and lots of leather.. “This one is kind of a moody but strong vibe, a bit of quiet confidence. I’m creating a whole new fashion genre here, it’s wild frontiersman meets Hell’s Angel. Goddamn those Yankees.”

DAY 2 Outside cheering up Monday with blinding brights.. “Clashing? I didn’t know that was a thing. I overheard a man tell his girlfriend never to go out looking like me today, I obviously just blew his little mind.”

Fashion: Leave your Bath bubble W

Written by Holly Narey & Harriet Tangney

e all inhabit the University of Bath bubble to a varying extent, and many of us up on campus find it all too easy to roll out of bed and throw on a pair of jeans and our uni hoodies five minutes before a lecture, where we sit, a herd of sleepy-looking, clones. It is easy to lose your fashion identity once you develop these habits, and everyone, even if they don’t realise, has a fashion identity; that individual spark of knowing that you like something, something that someone else might not, that thing that makes other people look at an item of clothing and think that it’s ‘so you’. Individual style varies largely, and it’s the people who care most about their visual identity who become the fashion eccentrics. Whether they want to stand out, shock, or it’s just that their little guiding voice is wired a bit differently to others, the eccentrics are among us. We encounter interesting fashion through various subcultures. In these groups, dressing in an unusual way is a way of achieving status; the most creative are the most respected. Also because these are commonly the subcultures of young people, such creativity is about who can be the most creative for the least amount of money. Enter the world of making and customising your own clothes. A classic example of this is of course the punk culture of the late 70s and early 80s when everyday objects were adapted into clothing, accessories and jewellery. Clothes were held together with safety pins and scrawled all over with pen. Bin bags became dresses and everything was hand-studded. Can you really be an eccentric if you are surrounded by so many people struggling continuously to be individual, but who end up, again dressing all the same? Real eccentrics often are fuelled by the desire for attention, and so of course this is common amongst the rich and famous; it is a quick and easy way to ensure they remain in the headlines, or even just in the worst and best-dressed lists. Unlike us everyday people on the street wearing our weird and wonderful charity shop buys, they cannot hide behind anonym-

ity. Musical female front women have been being brave for years: Bjork, Peaches, Karen O, Annie Lennox, and I hate to include her name because she seems to feature on this page almost every issue but of course the unstoppable force of Lady Gaga. Whether it’s dressing in menswear, wearing a swan around your neck, or a dress made out of meat, these women somehow manage to power through the mundane world of pretty dresses and strappy heels and come out shining. Fashion trends have actually killed people. An obvious example is the corset, which when tight-laced meant that a deep breath could crack a rib. Foot-binding, a Chinese custom until the 1900s, often led to gangrene (this was considered good, as it meant the toes might fall off), which could spread and become life-threatening. Shockingly, until the 1920s, lead-based makeup was commonplace, and there are obvious drawbacks to plastering lead all over your face; the build up of lead in the body over the years caused symptoms from insomnia to the total destruction of the nervous system. You don’t, however, have to take it that far to reassert your fashion identity For example, secret-store.com is a business set up by a couple of guys who are tired of seeing the same designs mass-printed and worn universally. They have instead chosen to print limited edition t-shirts designed by young, up-and-coming artists, giving them the exposure they need with fairer rates than those given by big corporations, who are notorious for stealing and slightly modifying relatively unknown artists’ artwork with no recognition or compensation for their ideas. Eccentricity is always going to be prevalent in fashion, after all, if there were no eccentrics, there would never be any new ideas being pumped into the industry and the minds of its followers. It fuels change and challenges both high-fashion designers and us common folk alike to be different, to surprise, to stand out. Maybe we need to see a bit more of this out on Parade, but then again, that would require us getting up more than five minutes before our lectures, and that may be asking too much.

Monday 14th March 2011

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girl to dress her up for your pleasure

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by Harriet Tangney

DAY 3 Looking for adventure in the Quarry corridor... “I’m trying to go for a kind of urban safari look here, wearing an original pith helmet which I got on my travels; I’ve customised it of course with foliage for a more authentic look. Just like I’ve stepped out of the jungle, right?”

HOT

DAY 4 Taking a walk down Baker Street.. “Aha! A clue! I’m sorry, what’s that? Fashion you say? Oh I don’t take any notice of such frivolities. I just wear this hat so everyone knows I’m definitely a detective.”

NOT Jackie Stallone

Well Hung Meat

Monday 14th March 2011

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Music: How to make music from a toaster

Written by Fabiana Giovanetti

Detail from The Velvet Underground & Nico infamous peelable LP cover designed by Andy Warhol

James Blake looking suitably melancholic. He’s been reading Sam Foxman’s guide...

he first encounter between a child and music is when he hits a frying pan on the table. Surprisingly, the pan produces a sound that, when repeated, creates an effective rhythm (as well as parental headaches). Some of these children just stop playing with music, others don’t. I’ve often seen people playing dustbins, and I’m pretty sure that everybody has tried to fill a flute glass and delightedly rub its rim until it squeals at least once in their life. It is also possible to list an incredibly long number of weird musical instruments, both folkloristic and new odd inventions. It’s a trend that has always existed and will never die, try to google the words “Bikelophone” or “Bubble Organ” to be pleasently amused “Playing with music” may sound like a word game, but this is what some musicians like to do, experimenting, creating and adding different sounds. Velvet Underground and Nico actually introduced the eccentricity in rock music, both with their experimental sound and the collaboration with the resolutely bizarre genius of Andy Warhol. The Beach Boys recorded a song called Vegetables, in which Paul McCartney participated by crunching a carrot during the chorus. The Police named the senseless song De Do Do Do De Da Da Da after Sting got some inspiration from his then very small son. More than 30 years ago the album Graceland by Paul Simon was defined as eccentric just because of its mix of pop, mbaqanga, cappella and isicathamiya; now bands love to experiment using any medium to create new sounds – Cut/Copy’s frontman Dan Whitford revealed that for their last album Zonoscope “We built up an array of different instruments and anything we could bang we’d try out, from wine bottles filled with different amounts of water to a step ladder (...) There was also a drum studio we made of mattresses and pillow cases, building it around the drum kit to get a more muffled sound.” An authority of the “music playing” is Matthew Herbert, pioneer of the Musique concrète, a form of electroacoustic music that utilises acousmatic sound as a compositional resource. The trilogy “One” is his masterpierce: “One One” supposedly signify “a day in the life” of a single man, “One Club” is based around recordings from a night at Robert Johnson in Frankfurt and “One Pig” is based on samples of the life of a pig, reared, slaughtered and eaten on Herbert’s farm in Kent. Internet and laptops have also increased the use of unconventional ways of making, producing and playing music. You can ‘play drum’ while you’re comfortably sitting on your sofa and record a complete album in your bedroom, mum and dad permitting. There is plenty of software that allows pretty much anybody to manipulate audio, add samples and let their imagination run. Garageband, DJ equipments and home-made machines; some people also customize circuits within electronic devices such as low voltage, battery-powered guitar effects, children’s toys and digital synthesizers to create new musical instruments and sound generators. Are they the new instruments we’ll see on stage, mosty hidden inside a computer? Will music turn out to be a weird copy of Band Hero? James Blake, Joy Orbison, Burial and Zomby are protagonists of this world made of rave music and 8 bit, most of them are young people who started sharing music on MySpace and ended up in the 02 Academy the year after their bachelors. The only problem is that sometimes listening to this kind of music is as hard as composing it. Where is the line that divides fascinating minimalism from the eccentric elite – Phil Spector’s more out there material from The XX? The list of unconventional techniques used to obtain unusual sounds is massive: ululation, beatboxing, barking, or sucking are just a couple of examples of the voice techniques. Is this the end of the conventional voice-guitar-bass-drums formation? Do eighteen-year-old boys and their toaster embody the nemesis of the traditional music? All this talk of eccentricity is making me crawling for some Rolling Stones, just in honour of the good old days, even if it means being branded a Luddite.

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Monday 14th March 2011

How to cope with losing your band

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Written by Ben Hooper

verybody knows what it’s like to be massively into an artist, to follow their career from a budding flower, to travel along to distant corner street bars only to witness a tiny set unworthy of their talent and to see them flower and fly away in to the abyss of the celebrity. Or do they? For now we’ll refer to this as the Stig Phenomenon (no I’m not talking about the mystery behind the masked racer from Top Gear), the possibility of stumbling upon something special in amongst masses of trash and losing those dulcet tones to love struck teenagers, millions of subservient Radio1 listeners and, worst of all, packed out stadium gigs. It’s hard to go from hearing your favourite artist cough offmicrophone in pub in Kentish town to desperately scrambling to buy a ticket before they inevitably sell out for one of the summer’s biggest festivals. Do we want our diamonds in the rough to be locked away in our hearts, our circle of friends and our iPods? Or do we want for them to hit the big time and dare I say it, indulge in the sex, drugs and rock n’ roll which seem to ruin the careers of so many. Nobody wants their Stig to wither and die in the celebrity sun and let’s face it, most musicians write their best stuff before they’re famous. I asked a few students how they felt about the Stig Phenomenon, and most said they would like to see their talent-spotting abilities affirmed by the masses, but seeing them ruined by the fame train would be devastating so, rather than take the risk, most opted for keeping them secret. For these recording artists we hold so dear, every waking moment is driven towards being musically accepted, revered, and for many fame and fortune is what drives them, that and achieving the true expression of humanity along the path to musically discovery, of course. Britney, I’m looking at you, sugar. No matter how much we want our Stigs all to ourselves, to them we’re just in that small group of obsessive fans, a group of Mels from Flight of the Conchords, hanging around way too long after gigs and following them home, or is that just me? Arguably the even harder job goes to the talent spotters of this world. We’re not talking Simon Cowell here. I’m sure if you’d asked the late great John Peel or the ever delving Bob Harris about this process they would say it was essential to the survival of musical discovery, to carry on influencing those generations of budding artists. I’ve never been a fan of a musician who isn’t already passed it, long since dead or not quite made it yet, though a few are currently on the brink. So post-haste I hereby proclaim my allegiance to Ruarri Joesph, Pete Roe, Jake Morley and Japanese Fighting Fish. Though all of the above are slipping from my icy grip, never to resume their back room gigs and forward they all go to perhaps not stadium gigs, but gigs far gone from the mawkish days of yore. Ruarri was gigging at small establishments such as the upper deck in Perranporth, near to where I was living in Newquay in 2006, since then he’s gone on to three well received albums and tour successes. Pete Roe whom I met in a rather obscure portaloo-jam at Cambridge Folk festival in 2008 has broken into the London folk/roots music scene and is making profound records. As for the other two, well; Jake Morley a London based musician whose debut 2011 album Many Fish to Fry combines the art of percussive guitar alongside poetic-genius encompassing tales of the woes of the modern man, though his style isn’t necessary unique, his album definitely is, and he could be a sound of the future. Japanese Fighting Fish are another to watch out for, a band who blend guitar rock with just about every beat comprehendible by my untrained ears and compile a sound that could be likened to anything from Pink Floyd, to The Doors, to Nirvana and in fact just about any nouveau-rock that’s been released since the turn of the Millennium. Both are definitely about to escape my iPod, and I’m giving them to all of you. They’re my babies and you must treat them well, you simply must. If you don’t… I’ll find you.

We are required to shake our fists at the heavens and scream ‘too soon!’ whenever John Peel is mentioned.

Japanese Fighting Fish: This is the closest we can get to a picture of the band .cos they’re, like, sooo underground

Monday 14th March 2011

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Videogames: Indie gaming will save your soul www.bathimpact.com

Written by Mark Brandt

Ever since the earliest iterations of gaming appeared as early as the 60s, video gaming has been considered by the majority as an “outsider’s” pastime, and the number of serious gamers was relatively small. Those who followed the more secretive productions of Atari, Dreamcast and Commodore, although having grown in number recently with the revival of “retro” gaming, were originally few and far between. Although many people nowadays can name some of the “groundbreaking” games such as Tetris, Doom and Pacman, who remembers them in their first incarnations? Not to mention the games that came beforehand, before the concept of “3D” and games were basically interactive sections of text. The “Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” adventure is a classic example of this kind, where players type in commands to navigate through situations. Incredibly successful when it was released in 1985, it’s still available online for those curious to explore it. The scene for gaming nowadays is far-removed from those days. The press seem still to take great delight in denouncing with regularity the “controversial” games such as Grand Theft Auto, which has only fueled the interest of our generation of gamers in picking up a copy. Commercial games now appear to have shifted to a focus on immersion in an environment either realistic or otherworldly, at the expense of gamers’ wallets as they attempt to keep track of PC system requirements. The media hype surrounding FarCry’s graphics should stand as testament to this, and the surround-sound that F.E.A.R. employs firmly cements the point that you need to have a fair bit

of money to have a fantastic gaming experience. ...But is that necessarily the case? Recently, a new wave of gaming has been showing a rise in popularity.”Indie” games are beginning to make their mark in various sectors, both online and on consoles. The gaming scene has reverted back to how it originally was: someone hears about a game, takes a chance, loves it and then tells their friends about it. This can be said of one of the new crazes that is sweeping PC and console alike, which is Super Meat Boy. A quirky little platformer in which you are a cube of meat on an adventure to save your girlfriend from the evil Dr Foetus. It started life as a small online game, but now it can be found on major consoles. Most surprisingly, despite little in the way of promotion compared to, say, the likes of FIFA or World Of Warcraft, it still seems to be enjoying a remarkable amount of popularity. This all started off in the 70s, where many games were made by individual programmers who would then share the ideas around their friends (known as shareware) or approach a company to distribute the game for them. Thanks to the invention of the internet, then Xbox Live Arcade/PlayStation Network, it is a lot easier nowadays to find games that are much cheaper and don’t require such high computer specifications. These games are usually either free to play on websites or available to download, and although they’re probably not going to blow anyone’s mind graphically, they can still be very entertaining to play, and almost single-handedly has given birth to the concept of the “casual gamer”. Although many factors can be attributed to this rise in

A classic example of text based terror from the Zork series. This is how far things have come!

“indie” games, this surge can be mostly attributed to how diverse gaming has now become. Aside from the obvious entertainment aspect, games can now be found in areas as varying as military training and physical therapy (Wii Fit being used for multiple sclerosis patients, for example). As we come into an age where individual is replacing corporate in areas of music, art and literature, game designers are beginning to again make themselves known, aided by the rise of easy online access to downloadable content from companies like Steam. As a result, several niche gameplay avenues have opened up and previously unexplored genres are now viable, from shopkeeping to time travel to whatever takes your fancy: it’s not all big guns and football anymore. New games emerge regularly to satisfy both the casual and the serious gamer, and most are more reasonably priced than the £30-£40 range of PC and console games in stores, going for a either few quid or even free on occasion. The quality of both plot and graphic is naturally incredibly varied, but there are many worthwhile games that get the recognition they deserve. Granted, you have to sort through a lot of the chaff to get to the wheat, designers who have copied ideas from others etc., but that can be said of most creative media. Gaming has evidently come a long way from its origins, and certainly is now more accessible to the general public. Constant development in technology means that new styles of games are emerging, and with this the designers are able to push boundaries even further. It’s either a fascinating or a scary prospect, depending on your view. In the meantime, play on!

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Monday 14th March 2011

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All your creative madness are not belong to us

Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli are working on a (as yet) Japan only game for the DS to be released sometime this year. This makes us sad.

Written by Alex Grounds

“

All your base are belong to us.” Every fan boy that has ever been spawned by the internet knows the phrase. This meme, Popularised on the geektastic ‘something awful’ forums at some point before 2002, is a truly terrible translation and should read “With the help of Federation Forces, all of your bases have been taken over by [us].” However the game was translated in the days before production values or, apparently, translators. And as such the game has some truly amazing engrish (Wikipedia it – well worth a look!) dotted around. This video game, however, is a good game. Good enough and, more importantly, mainstream enough to be shipped out of japan and into the Western market. However the Europe and US markets do not get all of the same games that Japan does. It’s not all Mario and Final Fantasy anime cleavage over there. Take the game Muscle March for example. The premise of the game builds upon Japan’s love of human Tetris and banana hammocks. (Google Bob Sapp if you don’t believe me!) In the game you are a ‘roided up manbeast bodybuilder capable of tearing the face off a badger with your bare hands. But a nasty thief type has stolen your ‘roid powder and as such you chase him in a steroid induced rage in order to regain aforementioned lost powder. Then it gets weird. The thief accidentally ends up in a region of the fictional city you play in that is made entirely of polystyrene. All the walls are thin enough to run through if you are in possession of the steroids. Which leads to what I can only describe as the bizarrest chase scene I’ve ever witnessed. The thief runs through walls in particular poses which you, the player (a beefed up black mancake) must copy in order to pass through.

How you ask? Ah yes. I forgot to mention that this travesty of entertainment is on the Wii. That’s right – the biggest selling home console of all time. The bastion of home video game entertainment has been invaded in the land of the rising sun with hilariously ridiculous games conceived in the back of the mind of a man who thinks he’s a pixie. So you must use the Wiimotes to emulate the shape of passage through walls of the thief whom you’re chasing. Obviously as you get closer to the thief the difficulty increases as the time you have to reacted to the different shapes decreases. That’s it. That’s the game. The entire thing is an excuse to play human Tetris while watching badly rendered bodybuilding men running around in tight underwear. The Japanese video game market is full of examples of fantastically ludicrous games that never get shipped over here or to America because of the fact that they should never have been thought of, let alone programmed and published! There are plenty of other atrocities to humanity out there – Love Death 2 is a game where you have to kill as many small cute anime style schoolgirls in as large a variety of ways as you can. It was actually marketed as a stress relief game and the videos of it are truly harrowing. Or Mr. Mosquito. A game where, you guessed it, you control a mosquito around a house to suck enough blood to survive the winter. However it seems like a thinly veiled attempt to get boobs on-screen due to levels such as the bathroom where, you guessed it, you suck blood from a young ladies bujooglies. However, sometimes games turn up that I really, really want to actually try out! (nonwithstanding mr. mosquito which actu-

ally was released worldwide on the ps2 due to demand and an online petition!) The major player in really innovative Japanese only (though also in South Korea and North America now which is a shame because I don’t live in those places) games is Katamari Damacy (which roughly translates to clump spirit). The plot concerns a small prince who’s father (the King of all Cosmos – read God) accidentally destroyed the stars and moon and constellations after going on a massive bender and getting proper drunk! The son of the King of all Cosmos (you) achieve this by rolling a magic, sticky ball (whey!) called a katamari around various locations picking up increasingly large object into a massive ball of stuff (from drawing pins all the way up to mountains) which can then be used to create a star and start rebuilding the heavens. Unarguably bizarre but certainly seems interesting! Showing that different isn’t always bad. Unless it’s emo. Who knows why we are continually subjected to the monotony of franchise games that - especially in the last few years - seem to always involve space marines in some way. We’ve seen a little bit of innovation, especially from Nintendo, we’re still missing out. Studio Ghibli’s Hayao Miyazaki (creator and director of Spirited Away) have been working with a major company for years to make Ninokuni. It’s going to be a stunning game, with Level 5 known for their remarkably charming puzzle games teaming up with one of the most succesful creative companies in the world. Basically, everyone is super psyched. But it’ll probably never be released in the UK. I often weep about it, quietly, before drifting off to sleep. Why should we be robbed of such things?

Monday 14th March 2011

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Film: How flash videos can restore your faith in the internet Written by Dave Langdale

t would not be utterly absurd to declare that all humans exist on a spectrum of eccentricity. Indeed, every individual possesses their own personal quirks, their own set of habits and their own preferences for entertainment. Some people gush at the seams, to the point of manic reverence, for the incomprehensibly annoying Justin Bieber, while others much prefer the dulcet monotones of Mumford & Sons or even the ear melting, nonsensical rage of Slayer. Some people are irritated so much by the stacking of a dishwasher that GBH is a result not unheard of, others so laid back a rat could defecate on their face without so much as a twitch. Similarly, the Guinness Book of World Records is littered with bizarre accomplishments, such as the longest fingers nails (33 inches), the most t-shirts worn at one time (121) or typing every number up to 1 million, a feat which took a staggering 16 years and 7 months and over 19,000 sheets of paper. Without these people our world would be a dull, miserable place residing permanently in a low greyscale. As such, these eccentricities should be unquestionably embraced if we are to avoid a world possessing all the excitement of a rainy Milton Keynes. There is certainly no place on Earth that demonstrates the eccentricity spectrum better than the internet. A hive of procrastination where even the most mundane situations can acquire the attention of millions, it is a forum for endless creativity, bizarre depravity and relentless masturbation. The most common platform is of course YouTube, a phenomenon that sees countless parties, gatherings and other social occasions inexorably interrupted by one inebriated individual screaming “Have you seen the one where the chimp rapes the frog?” And so the evening spirals further

and further down into the gutter, making the seemingly innocent stops at the ‘Numa Numa guy’, the sleepwalking dog and ‘Snatchwars’ before the inescapable descent into ‘2 girls 1 cup’ and ‘1 man 1 glass’. Whether you’re the thirteen year old promptly vomiting into his shandy or the middle aged loner secretly aroused, it is a pattern everyone can relate to and one certain to continue over the years to come. While some people may sneer at the vast amount of time spent on video sharing sites such as YouTube, declaring that watching hours of inane attempts at comedy is as intellectually nourishing as reading an orange, appealing only to a nation’s youth pandemic with undiagnosed ADHD. Others may argue that these sites provide an unparalleled networking opportunities; a way to get your voice heard when no one around you will listen. Just look at the success of artists such as Lily Allen, who first shared her music on MySpace, or the millions of views on charity virals trying to spread their message, and even the unrestricted access to world culture such as anime and foreign film. Not only is it a place for human eccentricity to take the spotlight, shining in all it’s stop motion, animal-infested glory but it’s a place where people can exist and succeed where attempts in reality failed. A relatively unappreciated example of this is online flash videos. Adobe Flash is a programme used internetwide every millisecond of every day. Every time a video is watched on YouTube, a web-based game is played or even if graphics flash across the screen, chances are it was made in flash. Yet, not many people know that there is an entire community of amateur artists who use this programme to create beautiful, hilarious and absurd animations. Stories

such as the six-part Korean made ‘There she is’ series, a tale of the forbidden love between a cat and a rabbit, or the brilliantly made adventure of a hybrid zombie named Dirge battling the ravenous forces of the mindless, or even memorable characters such as Salad Fingers, weebl and the Clock Crew are prime examples of how much can be achieved with a simple animation programme and the human capacity for innovation. Sure, much of the web is inundated with game and film parodies but hidden amongst the relative unoriginality are priceless gems of incredible creativity and story telling, as well as a talent any Pixar employee would envy. It’s easy to dismiss the internet as a breeding ground for procrastination and irrelevance, with those against it furiously arguing that the hour spent watching a squirrel jump into a brick wall could have been better spent reading George Orwell or crafting a sonnet. Yet, these ignorant individuals have missed the opportunities such an unrestricted forum presents. If the spectrum of human eccentricity is something to be celebrated, and it is, then the internet should be commended for being the ultimate representative of its cause, a permanent and devastating weapon in the war against mundanity. The endless possibilities for humour and awe that YouTube provides, with numerous honorariums to human greatness and absurdity, are both immensely enjoyable and illuminating. Similarly, the rich and inspiring catalogue of amateur made flash movies show just how much can be achieved if human inspiration is allowed to roam free. So, next time you’re at home during the day watching the ludicrously dull Heir Hunters, turn it off, log on to www.newgrounds.com/portal and prepare to be amazed.

Salad Fingers is one of the best examples of a completely out there series of flash videos that could only ever have happened on the internet.

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Monday 14th March 2011

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Literature: William T Vollmann is more hardcore than you

William T Vollmann might be one of those people who can ‘deal with crack socially’ (unlike Charlie Sheen). He says cookies are more addictive.

Written by Rowan Emslie

illiam T Vollman is a writer who seems purpose -built for a cult following. A fantastically strange crafter of prose, his life stories are indelibly linked with his writing, any anecdote about him (and there are many) are almost certainly linked to his profession and his art. Writer’s gaining a semi-mythic status in their own lifetime is no new feat: Lord Byron’s relentless libido was well known in his lifetime (not least by all of his friends and their wives); Ernest Hemingway’s wartime pursuits and love of bloodsport led to him being regarded as an aggressively macho superman; and Martin Amis’s ongoing attempts to upset absolutely anyone without a sense of humour means he’s still regarded as an enfant terrible even as he enters his seventh decade. What is fascinating about Vollman is that his mythic status is based entirely on his work and how he researches it, rather than his personality outside of art. When researching his novel Rainbow Stories he realised that one of the central characters was wooden and unconvincing so he decided to do some anthropology style participant observation, travel to where she lived and worked, met some people who had similar lives, get to know them and really get to know his character in the process. It just so happened that the character was a crack-addicted prostitute working out of car parks in a deprived bit of San Francisco. He went, smoked crack ‘maybe a hundred times’, befriended some prostitutes, hung out and wrote an amazing book. For his novel, The Rifles – which is partly about a 1845 expedition to the Arctic Circle – he went and lived in a frozen Canadian wasteland for two weeks, suffering from frostbite and permanently burning off his eyebrows

in a exploding gas canister incident. He has later said this mishap helped him when he was investigating transgenderism for a later book as it meant he didn’t have to do any plucking. This is no normal author. He describes his technical style in a typical way; referencing geometry and everyday objects and drawing them together with the vaguest of suggestion, “When I write a sentence, oftentimes what I do is try to treat it like a kernel of popcorn. I’ll keep packing more and more words in there. Sort of refine it, until it explodes. When it does, it has all this surface area. It’s kind of complicated to trace the whole shape of the thing. But if you do, you get the whole round shape of it. And that’s the way it has to be.” His writing is often like this; as though the structure of his paragraphs and sentences consist of coils of smoke, just about holding these strange shapes of exploded phrases together. He is an intimidating write, unbelievably prolific (some say he has published something like 60 books) and indubitably enigmatic. Interviews are rare, he shuns the limelight and most regular human contact – he does have a wife and daughter but often spends years travelling, writing and researching with prostitutes, hobos and terrorists; the Vollmann family unit is probably less than normal. Very few writers are so committed or so resolutely unaffected by whether or not his work will be received well or at all. Mcsweeney’s literary magazine published Vollmann’s enormous Rising Up Rising Down in 2004, a 3,300-page, seven volume treatise on the human addiction to violence. It contained over 20 years of research and writing, taking in travels to Somalia,

Afghanistan, Iraq and Cambodia (amongst others). Clearly this isn’t the professional decision of someone who is determined to succeed or to seek fame. His concession to wealth was to allow, later that year, an abridged, one-volume version of the work to appear, explaining that he ‘did it for the money’. Let’s just say it didn’t quite rival Dan Brown’s ‘The Da Vinci Code’ for number one bestseller of 2004. He does enjoy a very enthusiastic a remarkably selective group of followers – his major fan group is only open to people who have seen or met Vollmann in person – who study all of his writing and publish academic essays to help explain his work. If anything they make him even less knowable, rejecting the vast majority of Vollmann fans and casual readers to keep this remarkable, slightly mystical figure shrouded in rumour and legend. His myth is not one available for everyone: there are no pilgrammages to Hemingway’s favourite bars in Paris to match the man beer for beer; no tales of romantic sexual adventure (unless you happen to be a prostitute... and have crack) with Byron to boast about with your afternoon tea-circle; no clipped letters to the editor declaring Amis’s latest essay ‘a complete outrage’. It’s refreshing really to find a modern artist with a following who both cultivates it solely through his work as well as rejecting its benefits. Mystery will make him last, not because people will want to know about this pig-like overweight man who used to be a computer programmer, but because people will want to know where those little popcorn sentences came from, what they mean, why they’re so fascinating. His legend is his triumph for all the right reasons.

Monday 14th March 2011

Puzzle Corner

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Handily placed on the back of bite, ready for your emergency coffee break. Comics are once again courtesy of bathimpact’s resident artist, Darius G.

Darius G

Edited by Katie Rocker

Thick consistency (7) Not connected (8) Copy exactly (6) Cooking area (7) Dorothy’s home (6) Rally; barrier (4) County; military plane (9) Make, create (8) Stick and ball game (6) Sex and the city drink (12) Tired, weary (6) Rotate (4)

Easy

Down 1. 3. 4. 6. 7. 10. 11. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.

Fork prong (4) Untidy writing, signature (6) Mocking drawing (10) Small, sharp piece (5) Place (7) Price (4) Wok meal (7) Pure, clean (14) Edge (of paper) (6) Large band (9) Extreme fear (6) Wallet taker (10)

Hard

37. 39. 41. 46.

Solution for last issue

Brain Teasers 1. What can run but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a head but never weeps, and has a bed but never sleeps?? 2. What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes? 3. During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub.” How should the visitor respond to prove he is sane?

Brain Teaser solutions

2. 5. 8. 9. 12. 13. 19. 20. 24. 25. 26. 27.

30. Chinese characters in Japanese writing (5) 34. Dairy product used on toast (6) 38. Piece of equipment (4) 40. More than necessary (9) 41. Centre (6) 42. Big cat (7) 43. Element with atomic number one (8) 44. Where sky and ground meet (7) 45. Peak (6) 47. Amount (8)

Pessimistic; not positive (8) Women’s hat maker (8) Small, icy space object (5) Grow, farm (9) Grown up (5) Caffiene drink (6) Without shine; boring (4) Queries (9) Jump (4) Pre-launch number sequence (9) Scale of heat of chilli pepper (8) Poem (3) Most famous Gorgon (6) Pull; small boat (3)

1. A river 2. His breath 3. Pull the plug

Across

21. 22. 23. 28. 29. 31. 32. 33. 35. 36.