impact student
Monday 21st April 2008 Volume 9 Issue 13 www.bathimpact.com
Different Shades of Green The University has won a prestigious environmental award but is coming under fire for its plans encroaching on greenbelt land. Phil Bloomfield reports. THE UNIVERSITY of Bath has come under fire for the potential ecological consequences of the fifteen-year Masterplan reported on in the last issue of impact. The concerns about the erosion of the so-called green belt around the University campus emerge in the same week in which BUSU won a National Award for its ‘green’ policies at the Sound Impact Awards.
This award represents a significant improvement from last year, as the Universitydoubleditspointstotalto achieve a Bronze Award and end up a mere six points off a coveted Silver. Despite the statement by Eddie Bell, VP Welfare and Campaigns, that the initiatives implemented show that “green issues are at the top of the agenda”, local residents have voiced their opposition to a campus
expansion through the Masterplan consultation session held in the library foyer. TheUniversity’seffortsingaining the award from The Environmental Association of Universities and Colleges included greater recycling facilitiesandenergy-efficientlightbulbs. The current plan, negotiated by the University last year, means that
around sixteen hectares (40 acres) of greenbelt land surrounding the campus would be earmarked for development and expansion. Tim Charrington, of the Bath Preservation Trust, questioned the plans of the University, saying that planners should look to “high density but not to high rise”. In light of the current drive for an increase in Social Space on
Roman around: Bath students enjoying the Roman Romp last week. The Rag event was a huge success, as over 1000 wristbands were sold and thousands of pounds raised for local and national charities.
Photo: Leah Gizzi In
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campus, there are questions about whether such an approach would be appropriate. Students’ Union President David Austin told impact that“theUniversityisunderpressure to expand its activities and take on greater numbers of students. The Universityhastostrategicallyrespond to this pressure.” He continued by defending the basis for the expansion proposals: “The University is also restrainedinregardstohowitspends its capital expenditure from Hefce. For example, it has to spend a certain amount on buildings for research.” One issue in particular raised by thoseopposedtotheexpansionwasthe disruptioncausedbystudenttraffic, especiallyconcerningparkingspaces. Many have advocated underground car parking as a solution, but Austin again weighed in, saying that such a plan was not “economically viable”, as“theUniversityisbeingtoldithas to expand on a very limited, tight budget”. A local pressure group has even sprung up in response to these plans. The Campaign to Preserve the Green Belt at Claverton Down issued a statement in September which pointedtoadditionalspaceidentified by the public inquiry as the solution to the expansion claims. Their chairman Chris Beezley commented on the plans, saying that he was not against the expansion, but he wanted the “local environment and the residential amenities of neighbours to weigh heavily in any building plans and subsequent decisions.” He was also “particularly pleased” with the decision not to expand building into the rugby training ground at St John’s Field.
this week...
Forza Berlusconi! The eccentric billionnaire is back!
Comment, Page 5
Stick to the day job? Battle of the Bands.
Another day, another pharmaceutical dollar.
Ents, Page 17
Science, Page 19
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News
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Josh Cheesman News Editor news@bathimpact.com A NEW report by the Higher Education Funding Council for England (Hefce) says that universities are too concerned with their position in league tables, despite claims that such tables are unrepresentative. The 64 page report is entitled “Counting What is Measured or Measuring What Counts?”, and looks at the university rankings that are published in national newspapers. The report raises concerns that institutionsareadoptingstrategiesthat will maximize their success in league tables,whileneglectingotherissueslike widening access to students form poorer families. Vice-chancellors are under increasing pressure from governors to achieve higher rankings, and this pressure is likely to increase if tuition feesriseafter2009. Thereportsaysthat “league tables are seen as encouraging ‘gaming’”, and also notes that there are often cases of universities “overengineering” the figures they submit to the Higher Education Statistics Agency, reminding us of the old adage that there are “lies, damned lies and statistics”. Whatisintriguingisthatuniversities often make contradictory statements on league tables. On the one hand, they criticise them for ignoring many important factors, like specialist, postgraduate and part-time teaching. On theother,universitiesarequicktoboast where they ranked in the latest tables. David Eastwood, chief executive of
WHOWINS? Do universities improve league standings at the expense of teaching? Hefce, said that universities themselves legitimise league tables by publishing results on their websites. Foreign universities have a very differentrelationshipwithleaguetables. In Germany, the universities have created their own interactive rankings, which combine subjective data such as student opinions with objective data like student/staff ratios and the average number of years needed to complete a degree. In Australia, the government publishes its own league tables, and rewards the universities who rank highly with extra funding. However, Eastwood has made it clear that this is unlikely to be implemented in England. William Locke and Line Verbik, the authors of the report, said that “the influence of league tables is increasing
both nationally and internationally, and cannot be ignored despite some serious methodological implications. The resulting rankings largely reflect reputational factors and not necessarily the quality or performance of the institution.” The NUS VP Education and Presidentelect, Wes Streeting, said that “this study proves what the NUS has long argued: league tables can only advise prospective students on the prestige associated with a university, as opposed to how well it might suit their own individual needs. Current league tables disproportionately favour researchintensiveinstitutions-thisisunhelpful to most prospective undergraduates, who are not going to be taking research degrees.”
included studying renewable energy resources, with an emphasis on cropbased fuels. Pupils also had the chance to try making biodiesel from vegetable oil and to talk about what effect they thought biofuels could have on the environment.
Richard Stewart, the head of chemistry at Beechen Cliff, said that “the aim was to create awareness of the fact that biofuel is a part of the solution, but not the only solution, and the limitations of what can and can’t be done by science.”
Putting Biofuel on the Fire Josh Cheesman News Editor news@bathimpact.com UNIVERSITY OF Bath students have been doing their bit for the environment by teaching local school pupils about the advantages of biofuel. Cara Savage and Dan Farry, both final year chemistry students, spoke to 20 year 10 pupils at Beechen Cliff school as part of the University Ambassadors Scheme. The event
Firms get to Follow in University’s Footprints
Matthew Hartfield Deputy News Editor THE UNIVERSITY of Bath has recently been awarded a grant to advise local industry on how to reduce their carbon footprint. The money, which was given to the department of Chemical Engineering, is beingusedtosetupatrainingschemewhich will teach companies in the South West how to calculate the amount of pollution they produce. Thisinformationcanthenbeused to determine what aspects of a business’
output offer the worst impact. Yeo Valley Organics, which produce yoghurtandassociateddiaryproducts,have alreadyagreedtohelpdeveloptheinitial stagesofthescheme. Biscuitmanufacturers Duchy Original, along with others, have expressedinterestincollaboratingonlater stages in 2009. Project leader Dr Thom Bunting spoke keenly on the ambitions of the scheme, saying “This should help all interested parties to become more aware of environmental factors and reduce the impact of products on global warming.”
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
Council Cancelled
UNION COUNCIL, one of the highest student decision-making bodies at the University of Bath, may be abolished due tochangesinthestructureoftheStudents’ Union. Union Council is the Parliament of the University of Bath Students’ Union (BUSU), responsible for holding the Union Executive(thatis,theSabbaticalOfficers) toaccount. Itdraftsandpassesthepolicies which direct the Executive, and reviews their strategic plans. Council also has the power to amend certain parts of the Constitution. However, this is all set to change. As per the Charities Act 2006, any students’ union that has an income of more than £100,000 a year must register as anofficialcharity. Previously,theywere exempt due to being tied to universities, whicharecorporateentities,butfrom2009 this will no longer be the case. As a registered charity, BUSU will have to conform to more criteria, and this includes a change in structure. Union Council will no longer have sovereignty in decision making; this function will be redistributed through various sub groups and meetings. The aim is to replace Union Council with a more democratic forum forstudentstodiscusstheissuesthatare important to them, like the No Platform Policy issue. According to the SU, these changes will make meetings more dedicated to improving the student experience, whereas at the moment Council is often preoccupied with Union policy. There willalsobemoreflexibilityandafocuson specific issues, making the whole process easierandmoreaccessible. Therewillalso bemorereferenda,inanattempttoinclude more of the student body in the decision making process. In a presentation to Union Council on student engagement, the SU Executive outlineditsreasonswhythecurrentsystem was ineffective. For one thing, Council electionsareheldearlyintheyear,atatime when many first years are not even aware ofit. Bythetimetheydevelopaninterest in getting involved in the SU, they have already missed their chance for the year. Also, they argue that meetings contain much unnecessary bureaucracy. Union Council spends much of its time ratifying
Meeting of Minds to Meld Matters and Motives Matthew Hartfield Deputy News Editor
EMOTIONAL TIMES: Some will miss Union Council more than others. Josh Cheesman News Editor news@bathimpact.com
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already audited accounts, a process which gives students only the pretence of taking part in the decision making. As such, very few people take an interest in it. This is most evident at the Annual General Meeting. The vote on the year’s finances is usually dealt with quickly, and the majority of people who attend the meeting do so for the opportunity to their questionstotheSabbs. Theideaistomake this element (direct involvement from the students) more prominent. Finally, the SU wants to dispel the image among students that you have to ‘know the right people’, or have a deep understanding of how the system works to get your voice heard. More emphasis will be put on the actual opinions of students, rather than relying on elected representatives to present their views TheeffectthatthedissolutionofUnion Council will have on the average student is that the SU will be actively trying to find out what you think, and provide more opportunities to be involved in the democraticprocessthroughonlinevoting. The line of thought seems to be that at the moment only a certain type of person getsinvolvedintheSU,andthattoreally understandwhatisimportanttostudentsa more active approach must be taken. Rich Howell, VP Sport, summarised theinitiativeas“lesstimespentonroutine decisions, more on engagement.” Pete Walker, chair of Union Council, said, “The removal of Union Council from the SU structure is necessary for the new structure to be implemented. For it to remain would increase the level of red tape to be negotiated when students require action. “The new proposal empowers students to more easily dictate change and mould theunionfortheirneeds. Withthechange to General Meetings and the addition of a betterstudentengagementstrategy,italso allows better communication between the union and its members. “Ithinkthebasicthingtonoteisthatthe storyhereisn’ttheremovalofcouncil. Itis alogicalconsequenceoftryingtoincrease the value of the student voice within a students’ union. “All-in-all, I think the removal of council, and the governance review as a wholeisaverylargepositivestepforthe union and student involvement.” Seepages14and15formoreinformation on the SU’s Governance Review.
THE STUDENTS’ Union Postgraduate Association (PGA) is currently calling on MPhil and PhD research students to submit ideas to be presented at their upcoming ‘Meeting of Minds’ event. Theconference,tobeheldonJune2and open to all, aims to communicate current research undertaken at the University to a wider audience. As such, the emphasis ison‘sophisticatedideasinanaccessible form’. Theaimistogetstudentstothinkoutside their area of expertise, and to counter the natural tendency to focus solely on one’spersonalspeciality. Itisalsohoped thatitwillstimulatetransferableskills, specifically clear discussion of complex ideas,andthusincreasetheemployability of graduate students. In preparation for the day, the PGA is currently asking young researchers to sendinabstractsforpossibletopicstobe discussed. Any subjects are welcome, but the PGA would like the jargon to be
kept to a minimum to emphasise the ethos of communicating ideas to as broad an audienceaspossible. Abstractsshouldalso includeoutlinesonhowaperson’sideascan beusedinotherdisciplines,andhowitcan be of use to society. Thedaywillalsoseepresentationsfrom theresearchworldofferingtheirinsights. The keynote speaker will be Dr. John Copley,aseniorlecturerattheUniversity of Southampton and a former writer for the acclaimed magazine New Scientist. Copley also runs workshops on media training, tohelpclarifytechnicalargumentsputto newspapers and television stations. ThePGAisveryexcitedwith‘Meetingof Minds’,withtheUnion’sPGAadministrator Tim Stoneman telling impact that “It can offer something to postgraduates, undergraduates and the general public… by findingoutaboutcutting-edgeresearchand how it affects other areas of study”. Stoneman was also very keen to emphasis the relaxed atmosphere present: theplanisnotonrecreatingadryacademic conference. “Itcanbeveryinterestingfor both people attending and speaking”.
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News
Be the First Past the Post(graduates) Matthew Hartfield Deputy News Editor
NOMINATIONS ARE currently being called for those wishing to become the new Chair of the PGA following the announcement that the incumbent, Fred Dahlmann, will vacate the position later this year following the completion of his doctorate. The move to ask for potential candidates now is unprecedented, but impact has been told that Dahlmann, a final year postgraduate student in the School of Management, is keen to find a successor to shadow him for the remainder of his term, until formal elections are organised in October. Tim Stoneman, the PGA administrator, offered praise for Dahlmann’s two-year tenure as Chair, saying that he has been “very committed to the role”. Those who are interested in taking up the role of overseeing the representation of postgraduate students to the University are encouraged to email postgrads@bath.ac.uk to register their interest. Previous experience with the PGA or the Students’ Union is not necessary, as key skills will be learnt during the handover period.
URB Ask the VC a Thing or Three About the University
Luftwaffe Pilot Apologises for Bombing Bath in 1942 Josh Cheesman News Editor news@bathimpact.com A GERMAN pilot who was involved in the bombing runs on Bath during the Second World War is going to make a public apology at a memorial ceremony later this month. Willi Schludecker, 87, will fulfil his “dying wish” by speaking at the service for the 417 people killed in the bombings of April 1942. Bath was targeted due to its “idyllic hotels and summer houses,” which the Luftwaffe suspected had been used to plan RAF raids on Lubeck and Rostock. At first, organisers were reluctant to grant Schludecker’s request, particularly 61-year-old Chris Kilminsterm, whose grandparents were killed in the blitz. However, they were eventually persuaded to change their minds. “I was told he was very keen and that it’s his dying wish, and now I feel
quite proud of it,” said Kilminsterm. “We usually only expect a few people at the service, but this year it looks like hundreds.” Schludecker was 21 when he took part in the Baedeker raids over Bath. During the war, he survived 120 missions over Britain and won two Iron Crosses before he was shot down over Holland. After the war he worked as an electrical engineer in Cologne. Last year he gave a public apology in York, which he had also participated in bombing. “I wanted to come because I wanted to say sorry,” he told a memorial service there. “When we were dropping bombs, we did not think of the people we might hit. I was very scared because I didn’t know how I would be received, but the people here are very forgiving and they have made me feel very welcome.” The memorial service will be held on Friday April 25 at 7pm in Bath’s Memorial Gardens.
Josh Cheesman News Editor news@bathimpact.com
IF YOU have a burning question that you’d like to ask the Vice-Chancellor, this is your chance. 1449AM URB will be interviewing Prof Glynis Breakwell, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Bath, live on air, and listeners are invited to send in their questions to the VC by e-mailing urb-manager@bath.ac.uk or by posting them on the ‘Ask the Vice-Chancellor’ Facebook group. Among the issues that the URB team will be raising are the status of 4West, social space and placements not being recognized on degree certificates. To hear the interview, tune in to 1449AM URB on Wednesday April 30 at 2pm, or alternatively listen online at www.1449urb.co.uk.
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Comment
Turning Up the Heat on Dodgy Science...
Matthew Hartfield quashes Matthew Butler’s anti-global warming argument in his article in the last issue. ACCORDING TO Matthew Butler’s latest comment piece (“Apparently, impact causes global warming…”), the recent reports on climate change are nothing more then hot air and hysteria created to sell newspapers, whilst politicians are using it as an excuse to take our hard-earned pennies. In realitytheworstofitisover,thereisno evidence for Carbon Dioxide causing global warming, and it’s all a tax wheeze anyway. As an opinion it would all be fine and dandy except that his argument is, to be blunt, completely full of holes, invoking dodgy data and written using dodgier prose. The evidence put forward by Mr. Butler is categorically incorrect, with the pressure groups that Mr. Butler discussed unable to offer any solid proof and getting their scientific facts wrong. Allow me to elucidate with reference to specifics, armed with my strongest weapon: peer-reviewed science. Claim 1: No global warming has occurred since 1998.
Absolute balderdash, I’m afraid. Meteorological data shows that the average yearly temperature has been increasing steadily since 1980. Simple calculations infer that there has been a continued increase of 0.1°C over the last decade. This misunderstanding arose as 1998 had the hottest peak temperature on record; this was caused by a massive ‘El Nino’, an oceanographic phenomenon, which affected the global temperature that year. Claim 2: Water vapour, not Carbon Dioxide, is the biggest greenhouse gas. Whilst it is true that Carbon Dioxide is not the only contributor, and what effect it has relative to other gases is still under debate, it is a well-known fact that it does have a significant impact. This is because it spends an extremely long time in the atmosphere (up to two hundred years), and due to the relativelyhighconcentrationincreaseof atmospheric Carbon Dioxide it has the greatestoveralleffect.Incontrast,there hasbeenanegligibleincreaseinrelative atmospheric water vapour, and as such it is of little consequence. Claim 3: If atmospheric Carbon Dioxide does affect temperatures, then they would have soared after World War Two, which didn’t happen.
Nevertheless, there was a rise removed from an IPCC paper. It seems during World War Two. Mean that Dr. Reiter has problems of his yearly temperature grew slowly own in understanding evidence; a from about 1935 and peaked at 1940, House of Lords select committee on before dropping off to reach pre- climate change noted that “He appears war temperatures. This is a moot to have been quite selective in the point though, references and reports as the focus is that he has criticised, on cumulative “As an opinion it focusing on those Carbon Dioxide are neither very would all be fine that concentration. recent nor reflective What does this and dandy except of the current state mean? Carbon knowledge, now that his argument of Dioxide hangs or when they were a long time in is, to be blunt, published”. the atmosphere, In case you’re completely full of concerned so as more is about produced it holes.” politicalbias,aselect gets added to committee consists existing quantities. As a result the of a cross-party membership; it is not net effect depends on emissions over reflective of one viewpoint. many previous years. Therein lies the crux. Sceptics of imminent climate change cherryClaim 4: People of the third world pick evidence with no support to it are told they can’t use fossil fuels. or which is easily disproved, and when challenged they retort with Emission-cutting treaties actively insults (how much of Mr. Butler’s make exemptions for developing piece contained random abuse aimed countries. For the Kyoto protocol, at the current Labour government?), undeveloped countries are only or squawk out the same asinine obliged to monitor emissions, rather arguments (“CO2 is good for life, so then cut back on pollution. restricting it is silly, duh!”). Matters are exacerbated when Those who worry about imminent one considers the specific sceptical climate change, like myself, do so groups that were discussed in Mr. due to the overwhelming scientific Butler’s piece; they are guilty of evidence supporting it, and hence making the same mistakes, the same accept it on the balance of probability. misunderstanding of evidence. If you’re still unsure then independent There was the Manhattan bodies such as the Met Office and Declaration in which scientists (but NASA have open-access websites mainly economists and ‘policymakers’, where you can read and assess existing whatever the hell they are) put forward information. a statement that consists mainly of You don’t have to be a climate pathetic straw-man arguments (a key scientist to understand it; you just example being “CO2 is not a pollutant need a web browser and an ability but rather a necessity for all life”). to read graphs. It’ll be like a GCSE Plenty of spin you will read, but Mathematics lesson all over again, so one thing you will not see is a single you know it’ll be fun! link to any serious evidence, analysis, Yes, there is the problem of media scientific papers or otherwise. This in hysteria, but this does not invalidate itself offers a likelier reason for why the large body of scientific evidence. it was ignored by the media; because I’d like to end on a final point. I it had nothing to say. would love it if a scientist or team of One of the scientists who did scientists come up with solid facts to sign this declaration was Dr. David show that climate change has stalled or Bellamy (yes, the botanist you used to is not occurring at all. It’ll mean that see on TV), who wrote in an article for a keen eye has found undiscovered The Times saying that “The last peak proof, which would be a wonder to global temperatures were in 1998 and behold. It’ll also mean that we, as a 1934”. 1998, eh? Where have we heard species, wouldn’t have to feel guilty that figure before? As for 1934 this is about using aeroplanes and cars in just baffling; there have been many causing excess pollution. hotter years since then. Unfortunately, I don’t think we Mr. Butler also discusses the case will be seeing such evidence anytime of Paul Reiter, who wanted his name soon.
ANNOYINGPICTURE: This is the sort of thing that enrages Matthew Hartfield!
Email Response Dear impact, Please inform Matthew Butler of last issue’s ‘Apparently, impact is the Cause of Global Warming (Not That it Exists)’ that recent cold weather is an effect of the La Nina current. La Nina and El Nino are two great, naturally occurring, Pacific currents which affect the whole planet. La Nina cools, El Nino warms. The overall trend of global temperatures however, remains upward. It is nothing more than shortsightedness to disregard wind farms. In the long run they will definitely pay for themselves. (They make electricity from wind. Free, everlasting wind. It’s not hard maths.) I would also add that developing countries are exempt from the reductions required by the Kyoto treaty, contrary to
Mr Butler’s suggestion. To call global warming a governmentsupported myth sounds like a conspiracy theory. Who exactly is supposed to be benefitting from the global warming situation and our efforts to stop it? Best regards, Chris Bowdon
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
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Don’t Just Sit Back, Do NSS Now! Tom Milburn VP Education SUEducation@bath.ac.uk TO BRING wholesale change to an organisation as big as a university there needs to be a big push, and currently in higher education there is no bigger push than the National Student Survey (NSS). The NSS gives final year undergraduates the best opportunity to make their opinions matter; students can’t complain about not having a say about what goes on at the University and then not fill in the survey! We are currently doing very well with our response rate; it stands at about 74% but we can do much better than this because there are a lot of students who haven’t bothered to fill it in yet! Once April is over, final year undergraduates will probably breathe a sigh of relief when the endless email reminders, and in some cases phone calls, stop. But there is good reason for all of this pestering by the University and the Students’ Union because quite simply the information gathered from the survey is probably the single most used piece
of information to make changes at the University. This year there will be even more changes made because for the first time additional questions have been added to the survey on top of the 22 standard ones. These new ones are not compulsory but cover more of the student experience, such as placements and how much students are listened to. So besides the changes that are implemented as a result of NSS results, why else should students fill it in, and why is there a relentless push to get as many students as possible to fill it in? There are two reasons for this and the first is fairly obvious. The more studentsthatfillitinthemoreconfident the University is that whatever it does in response to the results is actually what students want. The second is slightly less obvious and this is ‘bragging rights’. Since the survey began in 2005, Bath has always had a high response rate, but last year we did incredibly well and were only beaten by Loughborough, our arch nemesis, but we still got a 74% response rate. Forthelastacademicyearthefactthat we had such a high response rate has
passed through the lips of many of the senior management team because they likeBathtobethebestateverything,and the National Student Survey response rate is no exception. It must be said the University senior management members are not the only ones who like to boast about engaged, enthusiastic students who are happy to tell the University what they think; the Students’ Union is exactly the same. Havingasmanystudentsaspossiblefillin the survey makes it much easier to lobby the University to change something. This year is going well, we have slightly more students who have filled it in so far compared to the same time last year, but we still need some more to get the number one spot in the response rate league! So a final word for any student reading this who has not yet completed the survey;pleasefillitin,ittakesaboutten minutes to complete and will really help change the University. If that doesn’t motivate you then surely getting one over Loughborough is worth ten minutes of your time.
Forza Berlusconi! Richard Metcalf discusses the future of Italy under Silvio Berlusconi. Let’s hope he saves the buffalo mozzarella. HE’S BACK! 71-year-old billionaire SilvioBerlusconi,self-proclaimedsaviour ofItaly,hasbeenelectedforathirdtimeas PrimeMinisterofItaly. Hiscentre-right “People of Freedom” coalition beat his opponent Walter Veltroni’s Democratic Party in both chambers of the Italian parliament, which should allow him to push through much needed political and economic reforms as he sees fit. Nicknamed il Cavaliere, “the knight in shining armour”, Berlusconi’s greatest obstaclecouldinfactbehismaincoalition partner, the Northern League, which secured 8% of the votes. They advocate a federal system with more autonomy for Italy’s boreal regions – at times going as far as to suggest secession from the republic. They see the less developed and poorer south as an economicburden. Berlusconiisadivisive figure, but now that he is back in power, only he can save Italy. Theelections,despitethemuch-derided electorallaw(introducedbyBerlusconi), have produced a compacted political spectrum and even the disappearance from the parliament of any party which callsitself“communist”or“socialist”for thefirsttimesincetheendoftheFascist regime – it has been hailed as “the end of an era” and the beginning of the Italian “Third Republic”. The hammer and sickle have, in the end, beenconsignedtohistory. Meanwhile,the mainextremerightparty,simplycalledla
Destra(theRight)alsofailedtoachievethe necessary proportion of the vote. The somewhat more moderate postfascist National Alliance is currently in the process of merging with Berlusconi’s nascent party, which also boasts Benito Mussolini’s granddaughter (and former playboy covergirl) Alessandra amongst its adherents. Those radicals who were unwilling to compromise by joining one of the larger two groupings and abandoning their cherished emblems have not made the grade. Despite some bemoaning of the perceived loss of passion in Italian politics, this can really only be a good thing for the struggling Mediterranean state. Could it be that Italian politics is finallymakingthetransitiontosomething resembling normality? Berlusconi has his work cut out for him. Amongst the crises he has pledged to tackle are Alitalia and the Neapolitan waste-disposal crisis. He claims he can persuade a consortium to buy out the ailingairline,insistingthatitstayinItalian hands. The solution to the second problem is less immediately forthcoming. EventhaticonicItaliandairyproduct, buffalo mozzarella, has been affected by thecatastrophicrubbishcollectionfailure: The celebrated pizza topping was banned from sale in France, Japan and South Korea when high levels of dioxins were discovered in samples.
This is presumed to be a consequence of illegal dumping of toxic waste in the countryside where the buffalo roam. The waste disposal disaster has in the past led to a build-up of mountains of domestic waste (‘munnezz’ in local Neapolitandialect)inthecity’sstreets, which frustrated residents set fire to in protest. Italy as a whole has not fared much better recently, and her citizens were mortified to hear reports at the end of last year that Spain’s per capita GDP had overtaken their own. The Cavaliere has made some telling moves already, halving the size of the cabinet of ministers and scrapping a coupleofItaly’smanyhatedtaxes,bothof which are bound to be popular in a society which largely believes that politicians are only there to siphon off public money through their salaries. He has a daunting task, but will not feel too much pressure to produce quick results – he will continue blaming the “misgovernment” of Prodi’s left for the persistence of problems. As much as Berlusconi may be hated by sections of the population and his reputation tarnished by corruption and fraud allegations, there will also be a significantnumberofItalians(andforeign observers like myself) who simply want to believethathehastheanswers. Becauseif he doesn’t, it will be a long five years. Forza Berlusconi!
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Comment £10m Diana Inquest Money Could Have Saved Children’s Lives Laurence Cable Treasurer treasurer@bathimpact.com EXCUSE ME while I extract my jaw from thecraterthatit’sjustcreatedasithitthe floor. 10 million pounds? Wait a minute, it can’t be...no wait, yes it does say 10 million pounds... I’mtalkingofcourse,aboutthecostof the recently concluded inquest into the tragicdeathsofDiana,PrincessofWales, and Dodi Fayed, eleven years ago. Now I’m not trying to belittle what happened here, but £10 million of taxpayers’ money seems an absolutely obscene waste, and I feel that the late Princess may well have agreed. Firstly, what has the inquest proved? That the driver of the car was well over the drink-drive limit. Did we already know that? Yes. Second, the paparazzi undertook a dangerous pursuit, which contributed to the crash. Groundbreaking discovery? No. Diana and Dodi weren’t wearing seatbelts. Previously unknown? Hardly. So £10m has done little more than confirm what we already knew, and for what purpose? Now that the verdict is known, some have voiced hope that this will be the end of the matter. I for one hope it will, as I cannot even begin to imagine what it mustbelikeforhersonstohavetoseethe whole thing repeatedly dragged through the press. However, I am not optimistic, as Mohammed Fayed, Dodi’s father, maintains that the whole thing was a
conspiracy set up by MI6. I doubt that this decision will do much to change his mind. Aftertheverdictwasdelivered,hesaid: “The most important thing is [that] it is murder.” He has vowed to continue his campaign, which was one of the reasons forthespirallingcostandlengthyduration of the legal process. While I understand the fact that he wishes to know what happened, surely the funds should come from his own pocket? Furthermore, would Diana have wanted this sort of money spent on the inquest? Renowned for her altruism and work in children’s hospices, such an amount of money would have been literally priceless to any charity. For example, £10m could fund the Children’s Hospice South West for almost a year and a half, the Prince & PrincessofWalesHospiceforover3years, or, closer to home, the Bath Cats and Dogs Home for eight years. No amount of money would ever have brought Diana back, but who knows how many children’s lives could have been saved had the money been given to such causes. Surely someone as altruistic as Diana is said to have been would have chosenthisoveralengthyandcostlylegal process? Perhapsafittinggestureonthepartof Mr Fayed Sr. would be to make a donation of £10m to some of Diana’s preferred charities. Such a move would help lay the matter to rest. Something inside me though, tells me that we’ve not yet heard the end of this - not by a long way.
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Features
A Bath Student Pandering to Foster
Deputy Comment Editor Hadleigh Roberts had a somewhat unconventional Easter holiday, as he went behind the secret scenes of one of Bath’s best known politicians. OVER EASTER, I had the privilege of working for Don Foster MP. As Bath students, I certainly hope that by now even first years know that Don is currently the Liberal Democrat Member of Parliament for Bath. For the most part of my work, I was inside the Constituency Office, located at 31 James Street West, the road just past the larger Sainsbury’s shop. I should mention that I was immediately required to sign a confidentiality agreement, which I am sure you will understand, is to protect the personal information and privacy of those who write to Don. I think you, as constituents, should know at least a little bit about Don. He was a teacher by profession until in 1992, he was elected for his first term when he famously trounced Tory heavyweight Chris Patten. Ironically, Patten orchestrated the Conservative victory in the general election but lost his own seat! Bath has been a Lib Dem seat ever since, with Don coming to the end of his fourth term at the next general election. He will be contesting the seat once again, having been named
the candidate last autumn (ready for the snap election Gordon Brown may have been planning to announce, before decidingtherewaslittlejustificationfor it). In2009(or2010ifthePrimeMinister wants to push it), Don will be running against Labour’s Harriet Ajderian who also ran in 2005 and Conservative new blood Fabian Richter. At the last election, Don won with 20,101 votes giving him the 461st largest majority out of the 636 MPs. Of course, while I thoroughly enjoyed researching and resolving the problems of people in Bath, the best part of my time with Don was going to Parliament. It occurred to me during my time in Westminster that only a few weeks before, the Bath Conservative Society had visited Parliament with their candidate to do the normal tourist things, there I was with a sitting MP on official business. While everyone is familiar with the image of the Houses of Parliament and the clock tower that houses Big Ben, there is another building just across the road: Portcullis House, the modern style structure in which most
MPs have an office (although there are offices in the House of Commons and Norman Shaw North). I arrived on Wednesday just after midday, and having gone through the airport-style security check I went into reception just in time to see Prime Minister’s
Siân (the Sheep) in Wolf ’s Clothing?
Siân Lewis examines the perils and perversities of being 20.
GROWING PAINS: If this is 20, then what’s 21 gonna have in store for you, Sian baby? AS OF a month ago I am 20. This is not a massive, nor a unique achievement, but it is still quite a milestone for various reasons. First, I am now a fifth of a century old. Second, I can no longer use that handy “-teen” suffix when I mention my age, which seems to automatically pardon a large chunk of my behaviour. For example, am I now too old to climb trees? Am I allowed to sulk? Okay so possibly I was too old to sulk at 19, but it does seem like I am now expected to act more like, and be labelled, an adult. I work in a shop and a few times now have had a customer tell her offspring to “give the money to the nice lady”, at which point I stare blankly at the proffered coins for a minute before I realise this means me. According to reliable sources, I have now pretty much stopped growing. I will now never achieve my childhood
dream of being the tallest woman in the world. Also, most of my shortcomings are now with me for life – at 20 a lot of your character and your likes and dislikes are well-formed. This does, however, seem like a brilliant and neglected excuse, in the manner of “oh I do apologise for my tardiness but it’s permanently etched into my personality now, and is really nothing to do with me”. The main reason I am disgruntled with the big 20 is that I love being young, energetic, able to wear stupid clothes and allowed to steal traffic cones (hypothetically, of course. I would never ever steal a traffic cone). There isn’t much I can do aged over 20 that I can’t do now. Moaning about this to my unsympathetic mother (she says that I should see what it is like worrying about being old when you are 50 and
wrinkly) got me the clichéd answer of “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”. Clichéd, but also true. University is a pretty unique time in your life: you have grown out of most of the hassle of growing up and having spots, but you are young enough to have a hectic social life, be a member of societies as diverse as Knitsoc, Ultimate Frisbee and that one where they dress up as wolves and warriors and run around, do things like bungee jumping off a crane or hitchhiking to the Eiffel Tower, and of course, occasionally learn stuff. So while it is true that often you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, at least you can make sure that when it is gone and you are 50 and wrinkly you’ll remember how fantastic it was. Now I am going to go and see about getting a wolf costume.
Questions. A member of Don’s staff came down to greet me and we went off to the office. An MP has three separate roles: constituency, parliamentary and party. Don is the Liberal Democrat Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport and as such, I was able to attend a meeting with a woman representing a dance organisation. It was great to see Don in ‘ministerial mode’ and in addition to being a very articulate MP in comparison to most, he has a special talent of getting to the point and cutting through the waffle - quite useful when dealing with what Sir Alan Sugar might call “airy-fairy arty types”. I certainly saw Westminster at its best, as President Sarkozy was over forhisStateVisit,sosecuritywasatits highest and everyone was on ceremony. As a staff member, I was able to go through the secret underground tunnel from Portcullis House to Parliament and while MPs listened to Sarkozy, I went into the Commons Chamber and sat on the green benches. Unfortunately, due to working rather than sightseeing,
I was not able to see the “placards of British military success” mentioned recently in impact. The Constituency Office is deceptively large, discreetly removed from the edge of the street with a green door and a small golden sign with the Lib Dem yellow bird. Inside, amusingly, there are several Guardian wall-charts dotted around the place explaining the difference between 20 different types of cat and so on. In Don’s Office, it was great to see hung up on the wall various copies of the local newspaper following election results, with headlines like “Landslide!” “Foster crushes Tories”. On the other wall there are caricatures of Don himself (presumably by local artists) ranging from a picture of Don rising from the depths of the Roman Baths like Neptune and one of him sending a few crates of Foster’s Lager to defeated Patten. Don has a good sense of humour, as most MPs do. While in Parliament, Don read out a line from his pager to me, noting the irony that “The next unexpected vote will be some time tomorrow”.
Imagine...
...an airport stripped bare of all Duty-Free consumerist-heavens. Josie Cox tries.
ALTHOUGH I am genuinely appreciative of the practicalities and the speed of air travel,IdoubtthattheaverageBritcould notimaginetravelwithoutallthepernickety details surrounding it. Consumerism is taking over, and is showing no signs of stopping, not even in the most un-idyllic settings, like stressful airports. Ioftencastmyimaginationtoafaraway place, where there is an airport which literallyandexclusivelyservesitspurpose of being an air-port. Imagine not being able to gorge yourself on duty freechocolate, or saturate your clothes with perfume-testers, in a miserly attempt to kill time before you board. In a world without airport consumerism, there would be no superfluously expensive business lounges, in which men in suits eat peeled grapes,whilerecliningonaleatherlounger andbeingrockedintoameditativeslumber through recorded sounds of waterfalls and birds. There would be no coffee shops serving overpriced concoction after over-priced concoctiontothepoorbuggerwhoseflight has been delayed for the fifth time. No
transparentboxes,plasteredwithpictures ofemaciatedchildrenandsignsaskingfor your spare foreign currency. But before even reaching duty-free, Starbucks and Unicef boxes, the stacks of Hello!, OK!, Cosmopolitan and Men’s Health confront us. In my world, none of thesewouldbepiledhighoutsidethethree newspaperagentsinthedepartureshall... which wouldn’t even exist. There would not be people walking around with clip boards, asking you how often you travel. The newspaper agents would not be selling ice-cream in January, and tacky souvenirs would not be everywhere you look. Imagine an international airport which doesn’t sell the Financial Times, or Jack Daniels, or Marlboro economy packs, or Calvin Klein’s latest scent. Imagine an airport which is just an air-port: Passengers wait outside until plane lands. Passengers file through passport control, security and check in. Passengers board plane. Plane takes off… and passenger has plenty of time to hit WalMart when he arrives at the other end.
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
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MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
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Features
I Know What You The Dangerous Summer Local crackpot Felix Tandem unveils a new conspiracy theory Did Last Summer (Note from the Features Editor: it’s actually written by Chris Sian Lewis Deputy Features Editor
“THE END of summer is always hard on me, trying to cram in all the goofing off I’ve been meaning to do,” Calvin & Hobbes, 1987. I remember my rather fabulous, event-packed “what I did in the summer holidays” essays at school, aged about seven; summer when you are a kid is all about ice-cream down your front and making up games to play in the garden. My personal favourite was making my smallerbrothereatfertilisertoseewhat would happen. A trip to Accident and Emergency, apparently. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that. Summer when you are a 20-yearold student is more about hedonistic opportunities to be wild and free and preferably drunk on a beach. You get to go on holiday with your friends, have barbeques,gotofestivals,partakeoflurid cocktails, wear straw hats and hopefully enjoy some of the following: The Summer Ball: Bath University’s summer will of course kick off with the Summer Ball (I do hope you all have your tickets). This will include fair rides! Scouting For Girls! Crowds of meninsuitsandgirlsinlovelydresses!I enjoyedlastyear’sball,despitethehefty ticket price and spending half my time freezing in a stupid strapless number and the other half moshing in a field of mud to The Wurzels (classy). I think the Summer Ball is more about why you are there – to see all of your friends before you jet off for the summer (or in my case, we are all away for an entire year on various placements, jobs and Erasmus exchanges – sob) than about getting your money’s worth of cheap Bucks Fizz and free casino games. Cheap flights to exotic locations: That is, if you book now. Okay, so I can’t actually afford to go on more than one holiday (or even, that said, a
holiday) this summer, but I have still spent valuable revision time eyeing up Easyjet’s £21.99 flight to Prague or even Qatar Airways’ £325 flight to Mumbai. Fantasising about the Ayurvedic spas of Kerala is far more entertaining than analysing Italian culture in 2500 words, let me tell you. Summer work: It sounds like the last thing you want to do, but summer work can actually be a great experience, as well as profitable. Obviously office or shop work will not be fun (watching happy people come in and out in shorts when your air conditioning has broken down is true hell), but anything active, outside, and working with a group of other young people will get you fit, tanned and obviously, paid. Try www. campamerica.com, www.pgl.co.uk or www.doit4real.co.uk.
Bowdon… but he asked me to put this byline in for kicks). I’M SORRY. You’ve been had. It’s the biggest con of our time. So whatever you do, don’t tan. The media loves a healthy tan. So does the tourist industry. So do cosmetics companies. Itdoesn’tneedtobesaidthatsunbathing puts you at risk of sunburn, skin cancer and voyeurism. But understandably, it’s hard to believe that you’re ever in danger ofsunburninBritain. MaybeinAustralia, but not here in Rainland. Which is exactly why more people die ofskincancerinBritainthaninAustralia. Australians are accustomed to using suncream, covering up and staying in the shade, whereas Brits have a more devilmay-care attitude. Besides giving people interesting new moles, sunlight is also a major cause of aging. It causes your skin to become leathery and wrinkled. Don’t believe me? See an old person naked. The older-
looking skin is on their face, neck and arms. (How you find a naked old person to study, I leave to your discretion.) Butmaybeit’sworthit,tolookpretty?A healthy tan is more attractive, you know. Except, maybe it isn’t. Recent studies have shown that men prefer paler women, perhapsbecauseitsuggestspurity. Women inadvertsareconsistentlypalerthanthe national average for their race. (Incidentally, Asian cultures have known this for years, which is why girls carryparasolsoverthere. It’ssaidthatthe prettiestgirlsinBeijingwillonlycomeout a night. Like sexy vampires. But without the sucking. Or maybe... ahem.) To be fair, this is one-sided; the same studies show that women prefer darker men, perhaps because they seem more moody and mysterious. So guys, feel free to catch some rays. (I mean in the sunbathing way, not the Steve Irwin way.) Just be prepared for the skin cancer and
wrinkles. You might be wondering how this is a conspiracy theory and not just a rant. Consider who markets fake tan and beautiful brown models. They also make sunblock that, although useful, is no substituteforjuststayingoutofthesun. Then twenty years down the line, who sells you anti-aging creams? The cosmetics companies have us cornered.
Hitchhiker’s Guide to Paris!
AWARE
Rebecca Stagg Features Contributor
Wearing a swimming costume: This is not entirely a good thing in my opinion as it unfortunately means uncovering my pasty, photophobic skin from its cosy woolly jumpers and into harsh sunlight and scrutiny at my local pool (I live in Spain and all my friends are eternally brown, making me look the colour of dough in comparison). Wearing a bikini does however imply the simple but amazing pleasure of swimming and sunbathing in warm sun and having no cares (or looming essay deadlines) in the world.
INTHESUMMERTIME: when the weather is fine...
WELL, WHAT a weekend! Friday started offsuccessfully;weevenmanagedtohitch onto the Bright Orange bus! Our plan was to get to London and then try and hitch onto Eurostar, which would have taken usstraightintoParis(sneaky,Iknow!)but firststopwasBathSpastation. BothAndy and I were a bit nervous as we approached theticketdesk,preparingourbestcheesy grinandour‘it’sallforcharity’spiel. Ten minutes later we were on the 8.30 London Paddington train, we couldn’t believe it! One thing we learnt from this hitch is that our rail system is pretty lenient and itsstaffcanbeveryhelpfulandfriendly! Afterwetookafreetuberide,andfeeling onarollwequeueduptotryandgetafree Eurostar ride. Brandishing our fabulous ‘Paris Hitch 2008 T-Shirts’ and some last minute handmade ‘Hitch for Charity’ signs we did out best to persuade the ticket man thathereallyshouldletusonthetrain. No such luck. Thinkingonourfeetwedecidedouronly hopewastotryandblagmorefreetrainsto the coast…with success! Not only were we givenafreeride,thelovelyticketmanat King’sCrossSt. Pancreas(thankyouticket man!) made us a pretend ticket and advised us on the best way to get to Folkestone. OurrealtroublesbeganattheEurotunnel terminal. As we’d so far managed to get a freeridetotheEurotunnelentrancewithout a problem we were confident that someone would pick us up soon. After about a minute and a half however, security were called and we were promptly driven away fromthesite,lookingslightlysheepishas we explained our innocence and flashed our very legitimate passports. Our saviour went by the name of Ricky, a 17-year-old who confessed he’d only been driving for two weeks. He was lovely though and seemed to realise our goal of winning the race by speeding down the
motorway taking us to Dover (by this point we’d given up on Folkestone). One of the hardest parts of our journey was the two hours we spent at Dover, desperatelytryingtofinda(legal)wayof getting across the channel. Eventually we bought a discount ticket onto the next boat. This meant though, that we were officially out of the race. Feeling a bit sorry for ourselves we relayed our tale to two women on the ferry, who surprisingly offeredtopayfortheticketswe’dbought. We were back in the race. Spritsliftedwespenttheferryjourney harassing commercial drivers. Brian, an English/Dutch driver told us he’d take us to the nearest truck stop where he was stayingforthenightandwithoutanyother choice but to walk off the ferry (and onto the motorway) we took it. Bythistimeitwasabout10.30atnight so we were very relieved to see six other Bath hitchers and we all decided to walk thesevenkilometresintoCalaistogether. Having been warned about Calais at night, wewerefeelingabitnervous. Thisanxiety was not helped by the less than friendly group of youths who found it necessary to pelt us with stones as we gingerly ran past. By now it was all getting a bit creepy. RAG, who was on the phone supporting allthehitchers24/7foundusahotelinthe town and by 12.30, with a few extra Bath hitch members to our crew, we were safely tucked up in bed. Andy and I, as with almost all of the hitchersthatendedupinCalaisovernight (there were quite a few of us by morning!) decidedtotakethetrainstraighttoParis - this time we had to pay. We checked in with RAG volunteers situated underneath the Eiffel Tower at 5.30Saturdayevening,puttingusinthird fromlastplace. Soitwasn’tquitethewin we’d been hoping for and by the time we’d woken up in Calais our dreams of glory were utterly smashed.
Josie Cox talks to Amy Young about what’s on this fortnight at the AWARE centre.
THIS WEEK sees the beginning of AWARE’s summer safety awareness campaign, which will hopefully provide you with some helpful tips on how to avoid holiday horrors and sundrenched nightmares. The summer vacation is, for many of us, synonymous with carefree days of chilling in the sun. It doesn’t take much to lose track of time, lose track of your worsening sunburn, or lose track of your diminishing alcohol tolerance. Rather than being vulnerable to these dangers, it’s always a good idea to think ahead. Despite summer flirts and flings, STDs stillexist,luggagecangetlostandtravel insuranceisthereforeasimportantasyour sun block and shades. To clue yourself up more about summer’s possible shady sides and how to avoid them, AWARE’s summer safety awareness campaign will be running on campus from the 21st of April onwards.
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MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
Scant’s Regard: Culture Shock!
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Features
HOROSCOPE
Throwing goats off church steeples
Madame Soufflé
and three-hour lunch breaks.
GREETINGS FROM the heavens, my star children. I am Madame Souffle and I will traverse the astral planes and helicopters in order to guide you through the year. This week, we are casting our eyes towards the distant horizon which presents us with rays of sunlight and exam revision. By trusting my words, you will be enlightened to the information which will help you to beat the evil spirits of this time… everything is going to be OK. Oh yes it will.
Laura Scantlebury explores Spain at its finest and weirdest.
THE FOUR of us were sitting around a table in one of the perennially stuffy porta-classrooms, listening intently as Monica, the Spanish assistant, described some of Spain’s traditional fiestas. My friend already knew that the Tomatina was a tomato throwing contest of mass food-fight proportions. We had all heard about the running of the bulls in Pamplona, probably from an English television report showing a crowd of mad bulls chasing a crowd of mad – in an entirely different sense of the word – people through the narrow streets of a Navarran town. However, none of us were aware that in one Spanish village, the traditional feast-day involved chasing a greasecovered pig, or that in another it was customary to throw a goat from a church steeple. We pupils looked at each other in horror, and were only slightly mollified when Monica assured us that this particular tradition had now been banned. Five years later, on arriving in Spain for the second part of my year abroad, I was understandably a little apprehensive. I need not have worried. The only thing likely to fall on me from the many steeples in Alcalá would be a gigantic bird turd, courtesy of one of the town’s resident storks. In reality, of course, Spanish life is not simply one extraordinary festival after another, nor is it very different from England. I buy the same brand of toothpaste, the same cereal and, on the way to university, I get the same free newspaper thrust into my hand as I do at home. From time to time, as he might be in England, David Attenborough is on television enthusing about spiders and suchlike, so rather than finishing an essay on Argentina, I’ll spend an hour learning about webs. Not that I ever allow myself to be so easily distracted in Bath. Sometimes, though, Spanish culture does indeed display its unique
characteristics. Easter, for example, is particularly distinctive. Whether for religious reasons, tradition or simple curiosity, crowds gather to watch the sombre processions that take place each night of Holy Week. Hundreds of Cofradia and brotherhood members march late into the night, dressed in plain robes, their heads covered like the Ku Klux Klan (they are in no way linked), carrying enormous ornate floats that depict scenes of Christ’s Passion and crucifixion. Accompanied by drums, beating as if for an execution, the floats make their laborious journey through towns and cities across Spain. It is an eerie sight. Spanish peculiarities are also noticeable on a day to day basis. All shops close from 2.30 to 5pm. The streets fall silent, reawakening to an evening hubbub of squalling babies, wizened old men and everyone in between. At the weekend, families linger in town until the early hours of the morning, dining, drinking and strolling. Itisnotunusualtogooutfor a drink and some tapas at 11pm, only to find a toddler inquisitively wandering over from the next table. These multi-generational outings show how important families are in Spain… as does a frankly ridiculous number of wedding dress shops. Perhaps an unconscious remnant of a Catholic past, family ties seem very strong. Apparently, it is normal for adults of thirty to live with their parents. They are somewhat ironically reluctant to set up a family of their own. Clearly the wedding shops need to work on their marketing techniques. Once, when pondering these idiosyncrasies on the train to Madrid, my peace was disturbed by a two-man accordion band and a loud speaker. They entered the carriage at one station, played a lively, deafening rendition of ‘Oh When The Saints Come Marching In’, tried to scrounge some money off the passengers and then proceeded into the next carriage at the following station. I could not help but smile. As the tomato throwing and bull rampaging suggested to my teenage self, the Spanish certainly have a quirky way of doing things.
THE SPANISH: Always been a little eccentric.
CAPRICORN (22 December - 20 January) Buddhist monks will come for you while you sleep.
GEMINI (22 May - 22 June) You’re going to uncover a nefarious plot involving the Vice-Chancellor, a male porn star and a tube of bonjela.
AQUARIUS (21 January - 19 February) You will morph into a famous TV chef for a week.
VIRGO (24 August - 23 September) This fortnight you will discover what a suppository is… the hard way.
LIBRA (24 September - 23 October) Getting a tattoo of the name of your loved one is a bad idea. Getting it done on your forehead is worse.
PISCES (20 February - 20 March) You will watch so much 24 that you will become Jack Bauer. ARIES (21 March - 20 April) You’ll enjoy anicepeacefulrelaxingweek...untilthe earthquake strikes.
CANCER (23 June - 23 July) You know howyouthinkthey’reouttogetyou? Well they are.
TAURUS (21 April - 21 May) Meteor strikes aplenty this week.
LEO (24 July - 23 August) Don’t stand up in a canoe.
SCORPIO (24 October - 22 November) Don’tinitiateconversationswithpeopleat busstops. It’screepy. Especiallyifyou’re holding an axe and covered with blood.
SAGITTARIUS (23 November - 21 December) Ever gone out of the house with your shirt on backwards? Well this week you’ll manage to do it with your bra.
Give Me a Kiss!
Rosanna Pajak explains the art and the magic of kissing.
THERE’S NOTHING quite like a good kiss. That swooping sensation in your stomach, the butterflies, the romance… It’s always great to feel desired, even loved. Yet pressing your lips and tongue upagainstsomeoneelse’sisanundeniably bizarrethingtodo. Evenquitegross,once you think about it. One kiss transfers between ten million and one billion coloniesofbacteria…maybeit’sbestjust not to think about it! The study of kissing is known as Philematology, and tries to explain why weareallalittlecrazyaboutsuchastrange behaviour. Kissing has been around for ages,it’sestimatedsincearound1500B.C. There are even over 250 references in the Kama Sutra to different types of kisses. Some argue that kissing has its origins in the feeding of babies. Before we mastered the use of our thumbs (that was pretty tough) mothers were forced to pre-chew foodandpassitontotheirinfantswitha kissofsorts. It’spossiblethatthisaction becameassociatedwithaffection,andthen spread to other relationships. However, some psychologists argue thatkissingisalearnedactionratherthan an instinctive one. There are tribes in certain parts of the world who still pass food by mouth but do not kiss, such as on the island of Mangia in the South Pacific. Yet in the Western world we all grew up watching other people kiss. From early childhood we see it in films, on TV and of courseinreallife. Fromthiswegainadeep understanding of what it means to kiss, so wecopyitinsociallycorrectsituations. It’spossiblethatthebestexplanationis simplythatkissingfeelsgood–feelsgreat, in fact! Our lips are averted, making them our most exposed erogenous zone. They are packed with nerve endings and are
incrediblysensitivetostimulation. When youtreatthemtoagoodkissyourpulserate goes up, your blood pressure rises, your pupils get bigger and you breathe more deeply. Asforthechemistry,thefeelings of passion cause a surge of chemicals in the brain. Your pleasure centres are activatedinresponsetoneurotransmitters and result in those familiar feelings of giddiness,elationandeuphoria. Theeffect isactuallyquitesimilartothatbroughton by parachuting or bungee jumping. There may also be another reason. When we take a fancy to someone, there’s oftenarealdesiretolocklips. Yetdoyou remember ‘eskimo kissing’? It has been argued that all kissing originated from thisrubbingofnoses,essentiallysmelling each other like animals do. When we are that close to another’s face we get an olfactory cocktail of bodily chemicals called pheromones. In this way, kissing tellsusalotabouteachother. It’spossible thatessentiallywearekissingtoseeifour crush would make a good reproductive mate. Doesshehavetherightfertilityand strength? Doeshehavetheproperdiversity of immunology to create a good child? Oneotherthingthatpsychologistshave workedoutisthatkissingisfantastically good for you. In terms of a relationship, kissing releases the bonding hormone oxytocin. This helps you feel closer to your partner, makes you want to cuddle andhelpscreateemotionalattachment. In addition,theendorphinsthatarereleased makeyoufeelhappierstill,whichcaneven boost self-esteem. Evenmoreimpressively,kissingdoesn’t just have emotional benefits but has physical ones as well. Research has shown that couples who kiss first thing in the morning are happier overall, get sick lessfrequently,havefewercaraccidents, lowerstresslevels,andbettersleep. How is this possible? Well, it may sound disgusting, but the exchange of saliva with your kissing partner stimulates your immune system. Ittriestocreateantibodiestothe‘foreign’ bacteria,sokissingcanactuallyhelpyou fight infections. Not only that, but the flow of saliva into the mouth neutralises
acids, remineralises teeth and flushes away food particles, meaning healthier teeth. AccordingtoAustrianresearchers, a long, passionate kiss helps regulate the heartbeat, lower cholesterol and decrease blood pressure. Research from Japan even found that kissing can help reduce the symptoms of hayfever, as a 30minute kissing session stopped the body’s production of histamines. Alongside these health benefits are some more cosmetic ones. Just one minute’s kissing burns about 26 calories. According to one study, three passionate kisses a day could help you lose weight. Soundsbetterthanadiet! Plus,akissuses all34facialmuscles,boostingcirculation for a youthful glow, toning cheek and jaw muscles and smoothing out lines and wrinkles. Somethingtobearinmindforthe future: kissing keeps you looking younger for longer! Itcannotbedeniedthattoomanycouples kissfranticallyforthefirstfewmonthsof theirrelationshipandthenletthingsslide. It’salwaysthosenewcouplesinthatfirst flushoflovethatareallannoyinglyhappy and glowing. So if you and your loved one haveletthingsslideabit,whynotputabit moreeffortintothekissingandstarttoreap thebenefits?Andifyou’refreeandsingle but there’s someone you’ve got your eye on, stop looking and get kissing! Now you know it makes sense…
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MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
Entertainments
Turn the Page, Then Hit the Switch THIS WEEK, after the kind of sleepdepriving late night study based hi jinks that most of you slackers will no doubt be familiar with, I got round to seeing a film I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. Now, I know many of you will be scratching your heads reading this: but yes, I am writing an editorial about a film and not about some obscure music; is it really that shocking? Nonetheless, I’ll offer a small gesture of appeasement towards those who get freaked out by change, let me just tell you all that “Zen Arcade” by Husker Du is one of the best albums to come out of the eighties, and that you all should own it. 21 is a film based on a book. I won’t bore you with the details, but it is about a supersonic maths student
at MIT learning how to ‘count’ cards, and essentially cheat at a game of pontoon. Oh, and Kevin Spacey has a starring role, which is always a good sign. As a story, and especially as a true story, it definitely deserves the accolade of a ‘ripping good yarn’, yet what interested me is how the makers managed to do a fairly good job of making a very exciting story on paper into a similarly generally exciting film. After all, the plot is basically about “simple math” in the words of one of the characters. And equations would never fill cinema seats. And naturally, this brought me round to thinking about what exactly makes a good book-to-film conversion. There are those who would argue that turning a book into a film rarely ever works satisfactorily-
THE PROF: Spacey stars in 21, the latest book to be transferred to celluloid.
Single Noah and The Whale Shape Of My Heart Out 5/5/08 Young and Lost Club STEAL THE lighter side of The Arcade Fire,pilferthevoice of Willy Masonand take a horn or so from Broken Social Scene, you may very well end up with something like Noah and The Whale. “Shape Of My Heart” starts off well enough, with singer-songwriter Charlie Fink kicking off proceedings with his mellow voice dripping lusciously over the jangly guitar and bells. All very promising you might agree. It’s sad, then, that, when listening to this, you get the sense that the band is cruising, rather than anything else. Maybe it’s just the impression his voice gives, but at times he sounds less soothing and more bored. The ending is also very underwhelming, wrapping things up when all you want is another upsurge in the song. Yet there can be no denying the potential and talent they possess as a band, and you could do a lot worse with three minutes of your time than listen to “Shape of My Heart”. It’s the type of song that was made for people to lounge about to and wallow in, and all from a band that could be making waves yet. HHHPP Sean Lightbown ents@bathimpact.com
cinema generally doesn’t allow the audience the level of interpretive freedom given by literature, insofar as what you see is exactly what the director wants you to see. But this isn’t necessarily a yoke around a director’s neck. Two of the cleverest films I’ve seen in several years, Adaptation and A Cock And Bull Story, both dealt with the process of converting book into film and how important a writer’s/director’s personal interpretation of the story is within this process. Yet you don’t even have to be this clever to create a great film out of a book: the best book-to-film adaptations, without fail, always manage to show a really interesting personal interpretation of the literature by the director. This is illustrated by such bona fide classics as A Clockwork Orange and Apocalypse Now (which was adapted from Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness), although I could pick from several other films. The latter in particular avoids being untrue to the book by completely moving the setting of the story, a trick aped by Baz Luhrman’s fantastic update of Romeo And Juliet (seriously, rent this now, it’s sodding brilliant). Then there are the occasional stories which are so true to the original story, often by virtue of the explicitly descriptive original product: see Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings. So far, so positive. But it remains
that there are dreadful film adaptions: Anna Karenina is often the most touted, and it could be joined by other wastes of celluloid like Less Than Zero, the abominable American Pyscho and The Da Vinci Code (although in my opinion this was more down to the shoddy original story). Similarly, I’m not a great fan of films which become more famous than the original books like The Godfather and One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Both are undoubtedly excellent films, but I get slightly irritated that most people don’t know that they were actually based on astounding works of literature. So it seems that book to film is just the same as any film: there are the good, the bad and the downright ugly. And the best ones are the ones which show a genuinely original and inventive way of looking at the world. But before you go and see a film based on a book, do your homework and read the book, please, for your own sake. At least then if the film is rubbish you can’t blame it on some poor writer. And the best book-to-film adaptation? It’s clearly American Hardcore, a documentary about the Hardcore Punk scene in the US during the 1980s. Phil Bloomfield Entertainments Co-Editor
Shoot The Ed! DESPITE OUR best efforts here at impact, a combination of absent minds, empty heads and lazy journalism seek to undermine the integrity of this newspaper, dragging it to depths lower than anyone dare imagine (Though the Christmas ‘poster’ this year did its best). So it is people like Steve Andrews, manager at the on-campus Waterstone’s, that we have to thank for spotting the errors us editors think we’re immune from. In the last issue, having to rely on the Internet for information regarding the 1977 publication of the famous ‘three chords – form a band diagram’ I was ultimately led me to believe that it was published in “Sniffin’ Glue”. However, the “Class of 1977 punk rocker” has set the record straight, clearing up once and for all that the diagram was actually published in ‘Strangled’, a punk fanzine with a primary focus on “The Stranglers”. “The myth that this was in Sniffin Glue”, Steve says, “has been perpetuated by a number of badly researched books and by commentators wishing to write The Stranglers out of Punk history”. Well, at least at Bath University, you can consider them written back in again. Thanks once more! Sean Lightbown ents@bathimpact.com
impact Classics: A French Revolution
Siân Lewis takes a giant leap back in time to 19th-Century France and discovers the pitfalls of wanting what you cannot have... Madame Bovary Gustave Flaubert
‘MADAME BOVARY’, Flaubert’s masterpiece, provoked a huge scandal in French bourgeois society in the 19th century due to its depiction of the adulterous Emma Bovary, a beautiful and proud doctor’s wife who is drowning in the boredom of provincial life in a small village in rural France. After attending a marquis’ ball, Emma becomes obsessed with the idea of aristocracy and the passionate love that she reads about in novels. Written in a dark, voyeuristic style, we find ourselves identifying with, despising and finally pitying Emma as she spends her life in a ruthless bid for wealth and status, ruining in the process the reputations and economic situation of herself and her husband with her extravagant tastes and refusal to conform to society. Seeking escape, she becomes the lover of a string of men, including a serial womaniser – Monsieur Rodolphe. She hopes until the bitter end for something better, for her desire of being saved from drab bourgeois existence to be realised. Preferring fantasy to reality, she hides from her ennui and wasted passion in expensive furniture and daydreams. In ‘Madame Bovary’, Flaubert
not only judges Emma, her selfish, hedonistic nature and her inability to accept her position in life, but also the social norms which dictate “correct” behaviour and delight in ruining those who sin for their own pleasure. Flaubert is of the school of realism, and gives the reader a deep impression of twisted morals and the
dangers of fantasising about a life you cannot have. Emma’s final downfall has no irritatingly naive optimism so often present in similar stories of independent heroines, such as Jane Austen’s slightly sickly married-andlady-of-the-manor happy endings. AsatiricalportraitoftheBourgeoisie in the 19th century, but still valid in
today’s middle-class suburban life, Flaubert’s beautifully dark prose and delicately crafted characters are as readable and sometimes as scandalous as they were in 1857.
Siân Lewis Deputy Features Editor
FRENCH FANCY: Emma, as portrayed here in this 1991 film adaptation, is driven to the edge by her wild desires.
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MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
Entertainments
Who Ya Gonna Call? Dananananaykroyd!
Ents Co-Editor Phil Bloomfield asks one half of Glasgow’s finest about personal ads, t’internet and the music biz. By the looks of things, these guys had one orange sherbert too many... impact: Dananananaykroyd? David: Dananananaykroyd. impact: Why should we listen to your band? David: Nobody HAS to listen to our band, but if you like rock music and enjoy live shows, you should check us out when you get a chance. You might like it. You might not. It might make you go “what idiot recommended this to me, and why is it making me cry?”, which is fine. If we make you cry, you probably deserve it, mind. But, with any luck, you might enjoy our rock noodlings and smile a bit. Calum: Because we’re a bunch of dipsticks making the musical equivalent of the “monkeys could totally write Shakespeare” thing. And because it’s fun! John: Why should you listen to any band? Because they remind your subconscious of your mind’s shiny antipodes and should make you forget yourself for a few minutes. impact: Who is your one most key influence? David: My mum, Thurston Moore or Mr Claypole from Rent-A-Ghost. Calum: Personally, (whisper it) At The Drive-In. impact: Are you big Ghostbusters fans? Which is the best ghost and why? David: It’s a great movie. The best ghost in the world is the one on Alexei from Johnny Foreigner’s guitar because I’m pretty sure it has bewitched him into creating the sort of mind-meltingly awesome riffage he can somehow effortlesslypulloutofthebag. Abigfat rockriffbaghekeepsinsidehisguts. He vomits genius. Calum: I’m personally not a huge Ghostbusters fan. I don’t think I’ve seen either of the films for about three years,now. Theyare great films, though! The best ghost is Bill Murray OH CHUCKLE!! John:Patrick Swayze’s ‘Ghost’ is my
favourite. He will be a ghost soon. impact: What’s the best thing about having two drummers? David: The loudness and the fact that sometimes it makes me burst out laughing like a goon. You can see the sound coming off the cymbals when we’re practising. Calum: Definitely the volume. There’s something about this band being ridiculously loud that propels me into a state of near-pathetic bliss, and reduces me to a puddle of quivering atoms. John: Two bass drums to jump on, the more stuff to climb on the better. impact: Do you prefer touring or recording? Why? David: I love and hate both in equal measure. I love the whole recording process and I’m at every single session making sure everything is getting done right and putting on my producer’s hat, but I hate when things don’t sound right and we don’t have any time or money to fix it and we have to make do with stuff. ‘Making do’ - I hate that. Touring is amazing because playing live is what we do best and nobody cares or even notices too much if we make mistakes and we can roll about the floor and have a good time. But then, you have to sit (no lying down) for hours and hours travelling, and I get travel sickness, so it can bring the mood down. I guess, to answer your question, it’s a draw. Calum: Touring, easily. Both involve a lot of waiting around, but touring means that you wait around in places that aren’t Glasgow. Playing live in shiny new places is always fun for us, and sometimes we get free beer... John: Both have their place, constructing recordings is awesome. But nothing beats a live show. impact: What’s your favourite Simpsons episode? David:I want to say ‘Dental Plan’, but I’ll go for ‘Hello Joe!’ instead. Calum: The one where Bart walks in on Lisa on the toilet and Lisa screams
“GET OUT BART I’M PISS.” John: Any episode involving Moe. He is by far the best character. He’s so miserable and ruthless. impact: How many FX pedals do you own? David: Just a couple. A Boss tuner and a Boss overdrive/distortion. Not veryexciting,butthen,Ican’tsayIneed anything else. One day I’ll have a proper amp with a great distortion channel, so then I’ll only need my tuner and a channel switch. Beep! Calum: Personally, none. I used to have a compressor pedal but it broke. But the guitarists have a couple - I dunno! John: I’m not a guitarist but I own a line6 filter envelope modeler. impact: Your live shows have a reputation for being pretty crazy, what do you put this down to? David: I put this down to actually being crazy. Haha. No, seriously, I wouldn’t say our shows were crazy as such, just a jolly fun time with dancing and rock musk. We do have mental problems though. I’m not joking. Calum: Pure enthusiasm. The genesis of the band really came about because we were bored of watching the same guys with the same haircuts staring at the floor, dribbling some cookie-cutter A-List music all over their Hush Puppies. We wanted to make something that was exciting to us - and I’d like to think our excitement comes across during our shows. That said, it might not, and I might sound like a filthy cobbler. John:A combination of people liking our songs and everyone in this band knowing ‘how its done’. impact: Punk or metal? David: Depends on the band. Both genres have been as bad to us all as they have been good. Calum: Metal! Some of us are big fans of any number of classic metal/hard rock bands, my own particular poison beingDio. Thatsaidthough,Ihaveasoft
DANANANANANANANANANANANA: Batmaaan! Batmaaan! Batmaaaaan! spot for X and early Misfits... John: Thats a tough one. Metal, but punk ethics above all. impact: If there was one band you were able to tour with, who would it be? David: Probably Joe Satriani. Calum: Blink 182. Or any of the bands that formed from their break-up. *SWOON*!!! John: From a purely selfish point of view, it would either be The Boredoms or Blood Brothers, but we were lucky enough to play with Blood Brothers before they split up. impact: What kind of approach do you have to recording and songwriting? Who contributes what? David: I write the shell of the music and the rest of the band fill it up with their thick gloy. Happy Easter! So far, recording has been too fractured for my liking, too piecemeal. We’ll be doing some live, all-in-the-one-room-at-theone-time type recording soon. Calum: David comes to practice with a song fully-formed, and the rest of the band will make their bits up, and I’ll eventually write some words and stuff. Recording is kind of the usual way, but with the two drummers playing together. impact: Describe ‘Sissy Hits’ (the band’s new EP, out on 9th June) in one sentence. David: Why is my pillow filled with metal shavings? Calum: Oh goodness, it’s alive and horny. John: Annoying because the hard panned drums swap half way through, meaning my kit is one ear for a few songs then it swaps, and I don’t want people to think I’m as crap as James.
NEW FACES: The lads (and girl) shy behind a selection of LPs. Either that or their heads have suddenly turned 2D.
impact: The Internet: saviour of music, or the destroyer of music? David: Mostly saviour. Who would haveevertakenaninterestinusifthey’d seen our stupid name and not been able to hear the music right away? The fact that most people are going to steal our album without paying does haunt my dreams
from time to time though. Calum: I reckon the saviour. A lot of great bands that would otherwise have no real way of exposure have done a lot of good things due to the advent of Myspace et al. John: Saviour.
impact: Having a release date penned in twice and then being cancelled must be pretty disheartening, have you ever felt like your record is cursed? David: The manufacturers went into liquidation the week the master was sent off for production too, so there have been way more than two release dates for this CD. There’s no doubt it’s cursed and anyone who buys it will probably die. Sorry. Seriously though, it is truly disheartening.Whenit’sfinallyreleased, it will have been 10 months since we recorded it. In saying all this though, we’re in discussion with labels about signing a deal and that has come about due to the publicity surrounding the CD, so we can’t complain too much. Calum: Yes! I knew we shouldn’t have used that ouija board. I don’t believeit’lleveractuallycomeoutuntil I see a copy for myself! John:Yeah! I bet it’s starting to look intentional!
impact: Finally, what would your personal ad look like? David: There’d be a picture of us all with our tops off, looking all weird and dribbly like Casey from the Uncle Muscles section of the Tim & Eric Awesome Show and underneath it would read: “Do you an need hornys? Boys? Get to grips Chet! Turn up for an Dananarkroid live performance live and feel a hole lot of new loves in all of your a lives please!!” Calum: It would definitely be in the ‘girls looking for girls’ section, and would repeat the acronym ‘GSOH’ forty times. Then it would mention how tall we all are. Hotttt. John: “tW1nk L0ok1n 4 NsA BfGf 4 d4Tez MayB3 M0ar, Mu5t have Qu3stionAble vituEs.” ents@bathimpact.com
Monday 21st april 2008
Your Guide to the Students’ Union Governance Review
What’s Happening Throughout the last year the Sabbatical Officers have been looking into the governance structures of the Students’ Union. They have worked with a consultant who has helped several SUs review their governance structures. During the process Union Council was asked what they felt were the good and bad points of our current structure and this feedback was built into the proposals. The aims of the review are to find better ways to engage and involve students and make our decision making processes clearer. A meeting has been called for 29th April to discuss the proposals that have arisen from this work. On these pages you will find all the information on the new structures along with the process gone through to get to them.
Board of Trustees comprises 6 Sabbatical Officers, 3 Independent Trustees and up to 1 Co-opted Trustee. The Board is responsible for issues such as the finances, legal compliance and reputation of the SU. They are also responsible for the strategic direction of the Union, ensuring that the strategy is implemented and monitoring performance. They are liable for all activities in the Union.
Background
Union Management Group
The Charities Act 2006 requires that all students’ unions whose income exceeds £100,000 register with the Charity Commission. Cabinet Office guidance states that this change will come into force ‘in 2009’. This gives rise to a number of questions about the governance of BUSU and the nature of its relationship with the University which need to be addressed.
Issues for consideration:
General Meetings (GMs)
Trustee Board
• the need to establish more clearly a Trustee Board • the Board should have the experience and ability to exercise its responsibilities • the need to review the role of General Meetings and Students’ Union Council to make a more effective and more realistic forum for student input and one with powers appropriate for a registered charity • reducing the burden of governance overall with less requirement for decisions to be confirmed • prioritising effort into genuine consultation and feedback methods that engage students about issues that affect their student experience (as opposed to, say, how the Union is run) • the desire to delegate authority for some aspects of the Union’s activities, from the Trustees, down to effective and flexible sub-groups/working groups/project teams • the need to clarify the division of roles between various parts of the BUSU governance and management structures
These meetings will be an integral part of the SU’s engagement strategy. The only required business is a report from the Trustees, feedback from the work done in the Student Engagement Strategy and information on what is being done about any issue which has arisen. The rest of the meeting is used for students to bring up issues that affect them and to allow debate of campus wide issues. If there is an important issue where a vote is required this will not be done at the meeting, where only a handful of students are present, instead there will be an online vote following the GM, accessible by all students.
This comprises the 6 Sabbatical Officers and the Senior Management team. The group is responsible for the day-to-day running of the SU and supporting the sub groups in instigating their operational plans. It makes decisions on operational policy and reports to the Trustee Board continually on the status of the SU.
Engagement Strategy
This ensures that the Sabbatical Officers constantly have a steer from the student body on all major issues. This involves a week long mass canvass in the first semester which leads into the semester’s GM and a second canvass of opinion in semester two again leading to the GM. All of this is done so that the student voice is at the forefront of everything the SU does.
Sub Groups
Each sub group will have the power to decide their own internal structure, their priorities and how their budget will be divided up. They will work to an agreed plan to deliver activities within their remit. Most of these groups already exist but would now be given greater control over their own activities without having to have decisions ratified at Union Council or AGM. Additional sub groups can be created at the discretion of the Trustee Board as and when required.
Almost all of these groups already exist in the current structure, some will be renamed and all will have considerably more power. The idea of these new groups is to allow the students heavily involved in each area to make the decisions about how that area is run. For example in the past a policy about the way sport was run would have to go to Union Council to be passed and then be approved at the AGM. In the new structure the Sport Sub Group would make their decision on policy (whether this is through Sports Exec, Sports GM or another way they choose to pass policy) and then it would simply go to the Union Management Group for implementation. This would be a far more straightforward system which would allow policy to be implemented more quickly and be decided by people that truly care about it.
Removal of Union Council
The main function of Union Council, to create and ratify policy from different areas of the SU, would be managed by the Sub Groups. Another major function, holding sabbs to account, would be the responsibility of the individual sabbaticals’ Sub Groups. This will allow those students who care the most to be able to truly effect change in their area. Any Union wide policy or major issue will be discussed at a General Meeting and then taken to a referendum which will allow every student to have their say and vote instead of just the small elected few. This will allow students to get involved when an issue they care about is being discussed without having to attend lots of other meetings.
Creation of the Union Management Group
This is a regular meeting that already exists between the Sabbatical Officers and the senior managers in the SU. It has been added to the new structures to demonstrate where the day to day running of the SU will occur. In the current structure this is technically done by the Executive committee which is purely the Sabbatical Officers. This simply recognises that senior managers are an important part in the delivery of the services that the SU offers and will aid in the communication of important decisions.
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When it’s Happening 29th April 2008 EGM at 1.15pm in Elements, accepting the new ‘articles and instruments’ to replace the current constitution.
Summer 2008 With clear guidance from the EGM the Executive team (sabbs) will liaise with the University to make sure that they feel nothing has been left out of the articles.
October 2008 Any feedback from Students can be given to the Executive team for any changes to the articles.
November 2008 AGM, final articles will be presented for the student body to ratify.
December 2008 University Council, final articles will be taken for approval.
January 2009
Referendum
This will be used to make Union wide decisions. A referendum can be called either by a majority of the Trustee Board or by a secure petition signed by 2.5% of the membership.
What’s Changing Introduction of Sub Groups
impact
Introduction of the Trustee Board
The Trustee Board already exists in the current structure but is rarely mentioned; it consists of the Sabbatical Officers. In the new structure they will be joined by individuals who have relevant experience that will enhance the knowledge base bringing us in line with charity law which states that we must have a “Clearly identifiable Trustee body, with the right balance of skills and experiences”
General Meetings
Currently the AGM spends time ratifying what has already happened. For example there is no need for the AGM to agree the financial accounts; they are a record of what happened that can’t be changed even if people disagree with them. Instead of forcing students to attend to make sure that we reach quoracy (so that decisions can be constitutionally valid) the new structure has the Trustee Board ratify these decisions and the General Meeting instead aims to gather students to discuss real, important, campus wide issues.
“We believe these changes are in the best interests of all students” - Sabbatical
Nominations for Sabbatical Officers open and the recruitment of Independent Trustees begin.
March 2009 Elections for committee and Sabbatical places in the new structure occur.
Officers
June 2009
“This is a step forward for student engagement and involvement” - Pete Walker,
New Sabbatical team takes office as do the Independent Trustees with the new structure in place.
Union Council Chair
www.BathStudent.com/GovernanceReview
Extraordinary General Meeting All students welcome
Tuesday 29th April 2008 1.15pm in Elements
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MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
Entertainments Single One Night Only It’s About Time Out 28/4/08 Vertigo
GIVEN THE copious amount of airtime that ‘Just For Tonight’ received, you might already be getting a bit sick of One Night Only. This latest offering looks likely to have the same effect, though no doubt it will be enthusiastically lapped up by fans of bands such as The Feeling and Scouting For Girls. Although upon first few plays you will inevitably find yourself tapping your feet away to the irresistible, summertime beat, this is just yet another case of ‘same old, same old.’ OK, it does inject some much needed cheer into our exam and essay filled lives at the moment, but ‘It’s About Time’ is essentially just another three wasted minutes of bland, pretentious and downright uninspiring music. The boys have clearly been strongly influenced by The Kooks, even right down to the lead singer’s irritatingly whiney vocals. One Night Only may only be young, but it still seems that they need to work much harder in developing their own original sound (and some decent lyrics) before they become yet another flash in the plan just like the majority of emerging ‘bright young things.’
What Became Of The Likely Lad? Gina Reay charts the fall of one of the men who once had it all... ALTHOUGH THE story hasn’t graced the cover of impact, many of you will know that former Libertine Peter Doherty has been jailed for the second time after breaching the terms of his suspended sentence. Although I’m sure people will have given up caring about this lost soul a while back, his numerous arrests and drug-fuelleddebaucheryisinthetabloids almost daily. His dramatic relationship with supermodel Kate Moss, put him on thecelebritymapforallthewrongreasons and due to his framing in the media pretty much the whole of England sees him as a ‘junkie’, a ‘waster’ and a bad role model. Allofwhicharetrue,I’msurehe’dbethe first to tell you.
Peter Doherty is the best anti-drugs campaign England has ever had. Pictures of him looking dazed and out of it are everywhereyoulook. Iimaginehislifeto beabitlikeanextremelyhardcoreepisode of‘Skins’. Butaren’tyoujustalittlebit intriguedastowhatimpact(seewhatIdid there?) fourteen weeks in a London prison will have on the shambolic indie boy? Drugs have ruined Peter’s life: he’s been disowned by his best friend, Carl Barat, dropped from his own band, dumped by Britain’s most beautiful woman and his own mother has written a book about him as a last resort, having been begging him foryearstogetoffthedrugs. Inmyeyes, Pete now has two options, to give up and
lethislifecontinuethedownwardspiralin whichit’sheadingortogethisacttogether, sort his life out, and win back everything he’s lost. Now, I’m not as anti-Pete as the rest of England. Although I don’t support his habits or lifestyle, I’ve seen a side to him that the media fails to recognise. Pete Doherty has made some of the best musicofthelastdecade. FirstlywithThe Libertines and then Babyshambles, Pete’s songwritingtalentsarethereasonfortheir successandthemusicis,inmyopinion,of Oasis quality. Bet you didn’t know this: Pete actually got straight A*s and As in all his GCSEs and A-levels. But then why didhebecomeaguitarplayingstonerafter
WHAT A WASTER: But is Pete Doherty a wasted talent?
YOU DIDN’T see me, right, but today is your lucky day sunshine, as you’re abouttohearoftheUniversity’sbiggest party of the term. The Secret Policeman’s Ball is being held on the 1st of May in Elements, with a whole evening of entertainment lined up. You’ll get rocking music from Wise Man Said, not one but two cutting comedians, and marvellous magic courtesy of Chris Cosgreave. Don’t say we didn’t tell you it’ll kick butt. Evenbetterstill,itisbeingrunbythe Amnesty society. So as you’re having fun you will also be helping people from around the world. Tickets are available from the Parade every day, and I’ll look forward to receiving your donation. Not that you know who I am, OK?
Gina Reay Contributor
Shhh, It’s A Secret.
HHPPP Hannah Raymont Contributor
showing all this promise, I hear you ask? Having been a loyal Pete Doherty fan for the past three years, I’m beginning to ask myself the same question. There comes a point where celebrities, such as Pete, Britney and Amy Winehouse, needtotakeresponsibilityfortheiractions and behaviour. The ‘sex, drugs and rock n roll’ era ended a long time ago. So even thoughPetehasalotofadmirablequalities, I’ve lost my faith in him along with many otherdevotedfans. Andtobehonest,once he loses his fans, he’s got nothing left. C’mon Pete, get your act together, mate.
Neither Wonderfoal nor Awfoal Antidotes Foals Transgressive Records Out Now
I HAD honestly hoped that ‘Antidotes’ would buck the trend of hype leading to disappointment. The Oxfordians might not live up to the math rock tag they are frequently given (most of their songs are in standard 4/4), but their way around an offbeat pop hook and their frenetic live shows have meant that they have long been firm favourites in the impact office. Excitement stemmed not only from the fact that were they leaving their most popular single, ‘Hummer’, off the album, but also from the frequent hints at a heavy use of brass on a record which was being produced by Dave Sitek of respected US indie oddballs TV on the Radio. All that exposure on Skins and talk of them being the next big thing seemed to have merely focused them on being decidedly more interesting as a band. But in the end, these facts only make it all the more sad that ‘Antidotes’ is not the uniformly excellent record that many had hoped for. The first thing to point out is that the record you will hear is not actually mastered by Dave Sitek. The band were dissatisfied with the reverb heavy mix created by him, and ended
up mastering the album themselves. On the evidence of the final product, this was the wrong decision. The songs mostly feel shallow and tinny, lacking the kind of depth of sound which would make the album worthy of repeated listens. Tracks like ‘Red Socks Pugie’ and ‘Big Big Love (Fig 2)’ sound desperately one dimensional, and would really benefit from a bit of extra production grunt. The brass contributed by Brooklyn collective Antibalas, however, immediately stands out: the album opens with a long drawn-out refrain that sounds like an orchestra warming up, before ‘The French Open’ kicks in with up and down bass and tapped guitars. It’s all pretty thrilling, and sounds particularly refreshing when compared to the slew of rather boring British bands currently plying their wares, even if it is just an update of The Rapture for 2008. Yet all that glitters is not gold, if you’ll pardon the clumsy metaphor. For every vital brass part like the tremendous instrumental breakdown in ‘Heavy Water’, there’s a rather pointless stabbing trumpet on the otherwise incessantly catchy ‘Cassius’. At first it sounds great, but on repeatedlistensitallstartstofeelabit unnecessary to say the least. Twitchy fan favourite ‘Balloons’ suffers from the same problem, as what initially
YOUNGFOALS:Flying over to the US to record their debut album got toYannis. sounded like a great idea turns into just a pointless waste of some very talented horn players’ breath. Like their sister act Youthmovies, Foals need to write brass parts as part of the songwriting process, rather than tacking them on top of previous compositions. Yet it’s not all doom and gloom; the fact remains that most songs are at least good, and the massive choruses that have been so artfully constructed will bounce around your cranium for months on end. The revamped version of ‘Two Steps Twice’ comes across
as a genuinely original and exciting composition: the drums sound vast and epic for the first time on the record and the wonderfully nonsensical call and response vocals evoke Q And Not U at their very best. And if when the main chorus refrain finally kicks in a Cheshire cat grin doesn’t crease your face, I will just presume you find no joy in life at all. The most frustrating thing about ‘Antidotes’ is that for the duration of listening to it, you are convinced that somewhere within the record
there really does lie a truly excellent album. Yes, Foals sound like a more accessible and conventional version of Battles; yes, they pilfer ruthlessly from LCD Soundsystem, !!! and The Rapture; yes, their clean guitar sound is more than just a little reminiscent of Cap’n Jazz and other Midwestern emo bands, but when they pull it off, they do so with such style, energy and pop sensibility that you’d forgive them even if they just played ‘House of Jealous Lovers’ in a different key. Just when you thought Foals had blown their shot at the bigtime, final track ‘Tron’ serves as a reminder of just how infuriatingly wonderful the band can be when they pull their collective fingers out. Building from glitchy electronica into exuberant horn crescendo and back down again, it’s the best track on the album, standing out way above the muddled filler such as ‘Olympic Airways’ and ‘Electric Bloom’. Not only is it a fine note on which to end a flawed yet enjoyable album, but it also promises that one day, this band should be able to make atrulyexcellentalbum.It’sjustalittle sad that yet again, we can’t believe the hype first time round. HHHPP
Phil Bloomfield ents@bathimpact.com
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
IMPACT
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Entertainments
Student Bands Battle For Glory
Phil Bloomfield casts his watchful eye over the first two heats as the University’s finest bands slug it out for a place in the final, and the chance to play at the Summer Ball...
WE AT impact were there in force for this year’s MusicSoc Battle of the Bands. Yes, we always like to support our sister societies, especially those charming chaps at MusicSoc, who in my opinion should be Society of the Year, but we were also looking forward to some good old-fashioned homegrown rock music in all its various guises. Heat 1 was the heavier of the two heats, overall. The audience was first treated to the self proclaimed ‘comedy punk’ stylings of Phase 2, whose signature track “Only Paedos Listen to Electro” raised a fair few eyebrows, as did singer Ed’s great falsetto vocals. Vocals aside, impact and the judges weren’t fans, and as all the members of the band are in other, worthier projects, we’d advise them to ‘stick to the day job’. Their dirgy punk was very good fun, however, and evidently this counted for something as they went on to win the audience vote. Next up were the fantastically monikered Intercontinental Blues Machine, whose style lay somewhere between The Byrds and ZZ Top to these ears. It was refreshing to hear a student band who didn’t feel they had to fill every bit of space with guitar work, instead relying on short blues solos, a fantastically tight rhythm section, and some atmospheric keyboards to play some good old-fashioned bluesy rock’n’roll. Singer/guitarist Fletch was a charismatic frontman, and the rest of the band looked natural performers, completely comfortable playing on stage. From the moment they started, impact knew they were something special, and a band playing a cover by legendary bluesman TJ Hooker before touting The Allman Brothers as a central influence was always going to impress, and they won
the judges’ vote by a clear margin. Third on were Crucified. Stalwarts of the Battle of the Bands scene, playing heavy grinding metal, they got a mixed reception. Now, I do love a good bit of metal, but where Crucified lost out was in their songwriting. Their focus on noise above all else meant that some of the intricacies of their solos and riffing was completely lost in Elements. Next time, guys, don’t be afraid to turn it down a notch and to play a few more ambient periods so that the heavy bits don’t sound monotonous. Yet when they hit gold, the growling riffs and growlier vocals, complete with some great solos, definitely hit the metal spot deep inside impact’sheart. Final band Music Inc. rocked the boat by being a mere threepiece, but created enough rock and roll squall to make up for this. Featuring some great percussion and talented guitar work didn’t prevent these guys from sounding like everything and nothing all at once, sadly. There didn’t really seem to be a constant in any of their songwriting, and all the musical talent and good performance in the world can’t offset that. Heat 2, whilst less rocking, empirically speaking (can something even be quantified as rocking, on an empirical scale?! Professor Science, help me out here!), featured a lot more variety than Heat 1. The audience went wild for the slickest band impact has seen this year as metal/emo collective DNR took to the stage. By far the most musically talented band yet seen, Ed from Phase 2’s ‘day job’ were tight, knew how to write a song, and utilised those great vocals again. Yet whilst the audience voted them top by a country mile, impact wasn’t wholly convinced.
GIVING IT THEIR ALL: Although Full Frontal got our vote, the judges begged to differ... On stage they were a little too fond of rock cliches for my tastes (going as low as you can and rubbing up against the singer whilst soloing gets a little boring the 20th time), and whilst they knew how to write, they were slightly over-flamboyant at times. Whilst undoubtedly they were very good at what they do, I’ve never been a fan of the whole ‘metalcore’ genre, so I would not have rated them best band of the night. That honour went to the fantastically messy rock and roll of Full Frontal. Whilst their name may scream straight edge hardcore punk, these guys were pure desert rock. Featuring that
MUSIC INC.: Guitarist Rob Price thrills the crowd, but couldn’t propel his band to a spot in the finals.
man Fletch again, growling like an old bluesman into the mike before stripping to his jeans a la Iggy Pop, the band embraced the noise and howl that makes the best rock’n’roll. Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Melvins and Mudhoney are just a few of the names I’m prepared to compare them to, and as Fletch and the guitarist played call and response following a crazy drummer breakdown, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one grinning from ear to ear. Yet sadly, not everyone agreed, and impact’s favourite band of the night were not to go through, even on the judges’ vote. The band who took that honour were Pause Break Riot!, a two piece as crazy as their name, they played synths and guitar whilst intoning ironically about myspace and chucking glow sticks at the audience. Pretty fun, and pretty funny, but their shtick became a little boring two songs in, once you realised they were just playing nineties rave music with bells on. impact warmly congratulates the duo on trashing the stage at the end of their set, however. Good to see rock and roll apathy isn’t as in vogue as electro. Those of you who attended Battle of the Bands last year will remember the brilliance of The Major 7th. Singing in Japanese, and playing metal/ hard rock that didn’t take itself too seriously (take note DNR), they were vibrant and impact was genuinely sad not to see them win BotB ’07. Yet this year, with a re-jigged lineup featuring a new keyboardist/ vocalist, they didn’t cause the same ripples. The key ingredients were still there: interesting yet subtle guitars, some jazzy drumming and some great Japanese vocals, yet the new keyboardist didn’t seem to fit
SINGER ANGRY: Guitarist amazed.
into the band, his parts crowbarred unnecessarily into what was a great formula. Similarly, his wacky singing felt a little out of place. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. So hopefully that has whetted your appetite and shown there’s more to Bath University than cheese and chart trance. Come along on the 22nd of April for the final heat and help decide which of the bands will make it to the final. As a music lover, you can’t afford not to support your local scene. ents@bathimpact.com
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IMPACT
MONDAY 21TH APRIL 2008
Entertainments Single iLiKETRAiNS We Go Hunting Out Now Beggars Banquet
FOR THOSE of you unaccustomed to the sound of iLiKETRAiNS, let me paint a picture. Imagine Interpol were suddenly teleported away from the bustle of New York to the emptiness of the South Pole. Being there and having no-one to try and impress, they produce their music, getting progressively more melancholy until they develop a morbid fascination with bloody historical events, mainly situated in Britain. Add brooding vocals instead of the usual American yelp and you’re there. Anyway, the single. At a bit over three minutes, it is a long way short of theirprevioussingle‘SpencerPercival’, which weighed in at a staggering nine minutes. Yet the loss of time means that all the ideas, the pounding drums, the brooding vocals are packed together tightlytomakeafantasticallyimpactful piece. Guitars soar and harmonise like an apocalyptic orchestral choir, while the rhythmic, pounding drums only serve to drive the song on. Not in the same league as ‘Spencer Percival’, but for its accessibility it makes a great introduction to iLiKETRAiNS for prospective listeners. HHHHP Sean Lightbown ents@bathimpact.com
Let’s Be Frank... Or Not
Phil Bloomfield is neither here nor there when it comes to Mr Turner’s latest effort... Love, Ire And Song Frank Turner Xtra Mile Records Out Now FIRST OFF, I feel the need to offer up a slightretraction. Lastyear,whenIwasbut ahumblecontributortotheentssection,I reviewed former Million Dead frontman FrankTurners’debutanteffort“Sleepisfor theWeek”andgaveit4stars. Idon’tthink thatwastherightscoreforthealbum. And inadecision,whollyunprecedentedinthe historyofimpact,Iamgoingtoremarkit onascaleof10. “SleepisfortheWeek”is actuallybestrepresentedbya7/10score. Sowiththatoutoftheway,it’stimetoget down to the meaty business of reviewing the second album proper from Mr Turner. “Love, Ire and Song” opens much like its predecessor: with a strummed refrain and gently,exquisitelydeliveredlyrics. Now, I’m not the kind of person who generally enjoys singer-songwriters (although I’ll make an important exception for the incredibleworkofElliottSmith),butforme, Frank’s able lyricism and simple delivery reallystriketherightchord. Tostealaline from the aforementioned “Sleep is for the Week” review: he manages to conjure the poetic out of the mundane. And certainly, opening track “I Knew Prufrock Before He Got Famous” furthers this impression. If there’samorebeautifullysimpleandtelling lyricthan“we’reskirtingroundtheedges of the ideal demographic / we’re always
The Seldom Seen Kid Elbow Fiction Records Out Now
THERE ARE many unanswered questions in life: Why are we here? Is there life on other planets? What does Kerry Katona actuallydo?Buttoday’squestionisthis: Inachartlandscapedominatedbyidentikit bands like The Kooks, The Wombats, The PigeonGirlsandScoutingforDetectives(or whatever they’re called), why have Elbow not received the commercial success their glorious music truly deserves? Afteratrilogyofinventive,trulyfantastic albums, Elbow return with “The Seldom SeenKid”,stillstrugglinginthemidfieldof alternativerock. Maybetheircrimewasto arriveonthesceneatthesametimeasthe bewilderingly popular Coldplay? Maybe they’recursedbytheirterriblechoiceof band name? However, there was this group of blokes a few years back called The Beatles,whichisaterriblename,andthey didn’t do too badly for themselves. So, how are England’s most consistent and exciting band of the new millennium gettingon?Pleasingly,theansweris“very well”. “The Seldom Seen Kid” bursts into life with “Starlings”; a five-minute epic thatiseverythinganElbowsongshouldbe: dark, brooding, memorable melodies and numerous moments sounding like the sun breakingthroughtheclouds. GuyGarvey’s voicehasneversoundedbetter,andhe’son topformlyricallyhere,too,mixingthewry and comical (“So yes, I guess I’m asking you/Tobackahorsethat’sgoodforglue”) with the heartbreakingly romantic and touching (“You are the only thing/In any room you’re ever in”).
on the guestlist / but we’re always stuck intraffic”,thenIwouldverymuchliketo hear it. Many times during “Love, Ire And Song” I found myself smiling simply due to how brilliantly Frank manages to describe the simplest of things. He has the art of thestoryteller,inthatheisabletocreate beautiful,meanderingstoriesfromthemost simple situations. Lyrically,it’sfairtosaythatthisis a stronger album than “Sleep is for the Week”. Frank really seems to have found his voice, by which I mean he has nearly completely moved away from the radical politicaltendenciesofhisearlyworkand instead focused on the more social and personalaspectsofhislyrics,inparticular what has been loved and lost. Whilst this could be construed as a mellowing on his behalf, it seems more representative of a change in approach. In his own words: “It’s obvious my angry adolescent days are gone/ and I’m happy and I’m settled in the person I’ve become/ But that doesn’t mean I’m settled and I’m sitting out the game”. Quite. Yet Frank’s arrangements, just like many singer-songwriters, have often had me scratching my head. Lead single “Photosynthesis”, a witty documentation oftheprocessofgrowingold,islaidover irritatingly jaunty violins and splashy drums. It’snottotallyunpleasant,butit is quite a departure from the ‘campfire punk rock’ of previous works. “Imperfect Tense”isacrunchingcountryrockerwhich
Luckily, Elbow manage to keep up this high standard throughout, from the four-to-the-floorsing-alongofleadsingle “Grounds for Divorce” to the sinister and seedy“TheFix”,featuringthatothergreat 21st Century Northern crooner, Richard Hawley. Penultimate track “Friend of Ours” is a heartfelt ode to a recently deceased friend of the band, flanked by soaring strings with a stunning coda laced with delicate piano motifs. Elbow prove they’re not short on ideas with closer “We’re Away”, a stop-start ballad that morphs into a beautiful lounge-jazz pastiche. At under two minutes long, the only complaint is that it’s frustratingly short. Unfortunately, none of the original problemsposedatthestarthavebeenasked, and there may now be more questions than before.Thefinalquestionisthis:Is‘The Seldom Seen Kid’ the best album released so far this year? Without a doubt.
YOU COULD be forgiven for allowing the cover art that adorns “The Great Northern Whalekill” to put you off buying Minus’ latest album. The Icelandic mob have been responsible for some of the most brutally heavy and crushing music of the past few years, but somehow, putting a picture of a disgustingly obese man on the covermanagestoeclipseallthat. Andjust because they’ve called the album “The Great Northern Whalekill” (a homage to “The Great Southern Trendkill” by metal titans Pantera) doesn’t mean they can get away with it either. But getting away from the cover art before I provoke a wave of politically correct letters flying my way, the fact remainsthatit’sbusinessasusualforthe Nordic noiseniks. Signing to alternative divaBjork’sOneLittleIndianrecordshas in no way dulled the throbbing metallic ardourofKrummi,Siggi,BjarniandBjossi.
HHHHH Joe Rivers Contributor
pressesalltherightbuttons,yetitseems to be at odds given its subject matter: someone descending into depression. Thewandering“Substitute”,arathersilly loveditty,isalsoabitofawasteofspace musically,soundingabittooclosetothat tramp round the corner who sings about how life has done him down for comfort. Yet the shambling chords of “Better Half” twinperfectlywithlyricsaboutloneliness, and the joyful strumming of “The Queen is Dead”reallydoessoundlikeitwaswritten to cheer up a sick friend. And as the mournful piano-led “Jet Lag” draws to a close, I’m presented with the same conundrum that “Sleep is for the Week” gave me: exactly how to measure howgoodthisalbumis. Frankhascertainly moved above and beyond his first effort, and this is an album which finds him fully embracing alt-country singer-songwriter territory as well as personal lyrics, but
I’m not sure if I’m all that comfortable withthisshift. Thecentralproblemisthat Frank Turner is an excellent lyricist and musician, but he plies his wares within a genre which generally bores me stiff. And aftermuchdeliberation,Idecidedtoavoid making a decision I might regret by simply not making a decision at all. If what you havereadinthisarticleintriguesyou,you should buy the album yourself and work out what you think for yourself, and if it doesn’t, just don’t bother spending your hard-earnedstudentloanonit.Finally,go and see Frank live, immediately, to get a real understanding of what his music is all about. It just all seems to make more sense when he’s stood in front of you, but maybe that’s what the ‘nicest man in punk’ intended all along.
Opener “Cats Eyes” goes straight for the throat, and the album rarely lets go from thenonin,aschuggingBlackSabbathstyle riffsaremeshedwiththefreneticismofthe bestDC-stylehardcore. It’srefreshingto hear a band melding the intensity of punk with crushing brutality that metal has, withoutveeringintotheterritoryoftedious metalcore as pedalled by Bullet For My Valentine and their ilk. The band’s previous album “Halldor Laxness” had shown that the crash and smash of debut album “Jesus Christ Bobby” workedjustaswellwhenslowedupalittle bit, and whilst this album is admittedly unlikely to appeal to many not already familiar with the band, the clean vocals are a welcome change from the generally painful-soundingvocalsthataresoinvogue within the ‘heavy’ scene right now. In fact, the growling tones tend to make the songs sound even more epic, echoing over therapidfireinstrumentationinawaynot dissimilar to that of those of John Garcia of much missed stoner rockers Kyuss. Admittedly, the lyrics rarely stray from traditional themes of outsiderism, anger and justice that metal and hardcore are so enamoured with (“I was somebody, now I’mnobody”ishardlygoingtothreatenfor thepoetlaureate),yetwhendeliveredwith enough menace, they are as vital-sounding as any of the rest of the instruments used by the band. Whilstit’shardtopickasurefirestandout from the sub 3-minute masterclasses in brutality offered up, “Black and Bruised” is just as pummelling and chaotic as its titleimplies,and“RipItUp”lullsyouinto
afalsesenseofsecuritywithacountrified intro, before it explodes into shredded guitarsthatsoundlikeMinorThreatbeing played through a bass amp. There are also weak tracks in the Minus armoury: “Futurist” in particular, aims at a more anthemic and vocal-based approach, but just ends up sounding hollow and stripped downcomparedtotheother,meatiertracks. The use of occasional productive touches should, however, be applauded. Far from feeling unwelcome, the odd electronic squiggleandfadeinservetoclearlydefine where one song starts and the other ends. Thatsuchdefinitionisneededdoesshow what the album does lack, empirically speaking:variety. It’snotlikelytoearn thebandanynewfans,asitscontentisas uncompromising as its artwork. If you don’tlikeriffsandmile-a-minutetemposin yourmusic,it’sfairlylikelythatyouwon’t enjoythisalbum. Yetifyou’reoneofthose (like me) who relishes hearing someone beatadrumkittowithinaninchofitslifeor shreddingplanetsizedchordsfromaguitar, there’sverylittletocomplainabouthere. “The Great Northern Whalekill” offers absolutelynorebatefromstarttofinish. Relentlesslyrepresentingtheunfashionable hard and fast ends of rock and roll, “The Great Northern Whalekill” might just be one of the most exhilarating albums of the year,evenifitisnottobecountedamong the most pioneering and original.
Phil Bloomfield ents@bathimpact.com
A Whale of a Time The Great Northern Whalekill Minus One Little Indian Out Now
DEATH AT ONE’S ELBOW: Lovely.
HEAD TURNER: ‘Tonight, Matthew, I’m going to be... Bob Dylan!
MINUS: Icelandic nutters.
HHHHP
Phil Bloomfield ents@bathimpact.com
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
IMPACT
Science and Technology
Science and Technology News in Brief
James Dacey Science Contributor
Microsoft Works No More MICROSOFT WINDOWS will collapse unless it slims down and becomes more adaptable. These are the conclusions of leading IT Analysts Gartner spoken at a recent press conference. This damning report is based on divergingtrends;whereasglobalsoftware use is becoming increasingly web based, the Windows package is bulkier than ever before. The 50 million lines of code used to write Windows Vista is more than doubletheamountusedinthe1996version of the software. Giving the presentation, Gartner VP Mr Silversaid:“ForMicrosoft,itsecosystem, and their customers, the situation is untenable” Sinceitsreleasein2006,Vistaadoption ratebybusinessisstillonly6%. Further pressure has been added to Microsoft by advancing web technologies like ‘Virtualisation’ – a process where computers can draw from a central server as and when programmes are required. The international award-winning web
blog Techcrunch backed the assertions by saying,“Windowsisn’treallythatrelevant any more just because of the increasing utilityofonlineapplicationslikeGoogle Docs, which competes with Microsoft Office. Vistacouldbeperfectanditstill wouldn’t matter.” Dis-May at funding cuts to UK science STADIUM-FILLING ROCK guitarist and astrophysicist Brian May has spoken outagainstthe‘horrifictimeinscience’the UK is currently experiencing. May was studying solar-terrestrial physics at Imperial College when his band Queen started to gain notoriety in the mid 1970s. When the band rapidly rose to fame, May was forced to put his PhD on hold. Thenin2007,over30yearslater,he completedhisdoctorateentitled‘Asurvey of Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud’. Speaking from his current position of Chancellor at Liverpool John Moores University, Doctor May warned, “I think it is a big mistake and we are putting our futureinternationallyatriskinscience.” His comments come in response to this year’s £80 million funding cut from
the Science and Technology Facilities Council. One of the projects under threat is the UK involvement in the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) project set to be launched later this year at the international CERN particle physics research centre on the French-Swiss border. Big Grey Snorkellers: Elephants’ Ancestors were Semi-Aquatic A TEAM of scientists from Oxford University and Stony Brook University New York have uncovered fossil evidence to suggest that ancestors of the modern elephant were water-dwelling mammals similar to the hippo.
The team have been exploring the deserts of northern Egypt to investigate behavioural patterns of two early Proboscidean elephants calledMoeritherium(‘the beast from Lake Moeris’) and Barytherium (a slimline version of today’s Asian elephant). The theory stems from DNA evidence which reveals that these elephants were related to seagoing manatees and dugongs, and also the landdwelling hyrax (a rabbit-like mammal). Studyingthefossilteethrecordplaces these beasts in the Eocene epoch, 37 million years ago at a time when northern Egypt was covered by rainforest and swamps. Carbon and oxygen isotope analysis of thefossilssuggestsanamphibiouslifestyle whereelephantsspentmostoftheirtimein the water feeding on freshwater plants. Reflecting on the findings, Dr Erik Seiffertsaid:“Itcouldhelpustounderstand more about the origins of the anatomy and ecology of living elephants.”
So, you think you know all of what you know?
Richard Perry Science Contributor
IN YOUR life so far, there is a set of knowns (things you know) and a set of unknowns (things that you don’t know). Within the group of knowns, there are known knowns (things you know that you know) and unknown knowns (things you don’t know that you know). An example of a known known is: ‘You know that most humans have two feet’. If I tried to give an example of an unknown known, then it would not be unknown, it would be known, hence a known known. Within the group of unknowns, there are known unknowns (things we know that we don’t know) and unknown unknowns (things we don’t know that we don’t know). An example of a known unknown
is: ‘We don’t know if there is other life in the universe’. And obviously I cannot give an example of an unknown unknown following the same principle as before. As the size of the set of unknown knowns and unknown unknowns is unknown, then the size of the sets of knowns and unknowns is also unknown. Now, surely you think you know what you know and you know what you don’t know, but we have found from above that you don’t know all of what you know and all of what you don’t know. You may say, for example, that unknown knowns and unknown unknowns do not exist. The following examples should convince you that they do exist. Imagine you are wearing glasses but then forget and try to find your glasses. You know you are wearing your glasses because
if someone asked you, you would say yes, however you don’t know that you know you are wearing glasses, it is an unknown known. Imagine you are driving on a country road and you see a hot air balloon. Earlier you didn’t know that it was there, therefore it was unknown, but you also didn’t know that you didn’t know thatitwouldbethere,thereforeitwasan unknown unknown. Note that I used the word ‘was’, because now it is a known known, you know that you know the balloon is there. This transition from unknown unknowns to known knowns is common and sometimes very significant from a historical perspective. About 1500 years ago there was a known that stated: ‘The world is flat’. This was a known known to almost everyone. But then, the unknown
unknown of: ‘The world is spherical’ began to replace the people’s previous known known. Although we have now said unknown unknownsdefinitelyexist,theirexistence rarely comes into our minds, yet we know they can be very influential, even in the 21st century. For example 9/11 filled the criteria of an unknown unknown before 11/09/01, but now it is clearly a known known for most people. There are also positiveinfluentialones,forexamplethe now known known of embryonic stem cells that we previously didn’t know that we didn’t know, hence an unknown unknown. Now, I want you think of any future influential unknown unknowns that might become known knowns in years to come and if possible let me know.
Professor Science Gets the Runs Dear Andrew,
Q. Dear Professor Science,
I was watching the London Marathon this Sunday, and man oh man do those guys love running. This got me thinking about the pretty impressive endurance levels that we as an otherwise rather feeble species possess. Are humans the best long distance runners in the animal kingdom? Yours Sincerely,
Andrew Mazing, Limpley Stoke
Ahh, the London Marathon, that annual homage to running really far in silly costumes. Needless to say, we Diplodoci don’t exert ourselves in such an undignified manner. You humans however, do seem to be rather adept at the old running, you even have nice round behinds to facilitate it. Yes, strange as it may seem, there is some evidence to suggest that humans are adapted to be amongst the best endurance runners in nature, and that your bottoms may have evolved for this explicit purpose, rather than to be sat on, for which they seem so wonderfully designed. Whilst Homo sapiens are generally considered among nature’s wimpier animals in terms of speed, strength, and power, they show certain anatomical adaptations such as a thin flexible waist and a large bum that make them rather adept distance runners. When your
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ancestors first started walking upright, they retained a body plan that allowed bipedal walking but wasn’t conducive to anything more rapid than a nonchalant amble. Then, after a couple of million years, your ancestors gained a number of anatomical features that can be identified in modern humans which some biologists argue can only be explained by selection pressures that favoured running. Long distance running may have enabled a form of persistence hunting, essentially exhausting animals into submission without the need for advanced tools, or may have improved scavenging abilities. Despite your super buns, you Homo sapiens would still be whipped were the marathon opened up to our four legged friends. Horses and dogs could cover similardistancesinconsiderablyquicker times, but proponents of the running scenario point to the fact that humans combine adaptations for moderately
fast running with those for efficient heat exchange such as sweating and hairlessness. Bybeingabletopersistata moderate pace during the heat of the day on the African savannah, humans didn’t need to be fast or strong, instead they took on the Duracell bunny’s maxim and kept on going for longer.
Yours sincerely,
THE PROF Got any questions for Professor Science?
E-mail them to:
science@bathimpact.com
Science: The quest for truth… or profits? Lisa Wu Science Contributor I WAS quite sad in a pharmacology lecture today. The lecturer asked us what “percentage of patients cured” made a “good medicine”. Answers were shouted back: “100%, 95%, 70%, and 50%,” even as low as “25%.” Isn’t the answer 1%? Or that as the total number of patients increase, the percentage is decreased to 0.1%, or 0.01%, etc.? If a medicine has the capacity to save a single life is it not a good medicine? I know, I know, it takes hundreds of millions of pounds, and years and years to develop a commercial drug. How brilliant if it were actually 100% effective and saved millions of lives, the company made a great deal of money and everyone was happy. How disappointing if that drug only had a total sales count of one. But what if you, your sister, husband, granny or best friend were that one? Wouldn’t you be rather glad? I’m being naive in protesting that a single life is worth all that time and money and more. You don’t need to ramble to me about the forces of the free market, and the fact that medicine is a commercial product like any other. I know full well that this sort of thinking would lead to a very poor business plan, and quite possibly bankruptcy. It just makes me a bit sad.
Increasingly, science seems to have lost that innocent sheen of unsullied passion, to be replaced by the basic drive for monetary gain. Recent reports show major cuts in UK government spending on subjects like astronomy and fundamental physics. Pharmaceutical companies direct their research towards obesity, heart disease and sexual dysfunction; complaints of the affluent, whose treatment can be paid for. Six million people in the developing world die of malaria, tuberculosis, and HIV/AIDS every year. These diseases affect 90 percent of the global population. Yet, only ten percent of the $70 billion spent annually worldwide on pharmaceutical research and development goes towards finding vaccines and drug treatments for these diseases. When I applied to do Natural Sciences for my university degree I gushed about the purity of science, the untainted desire for discovery and the childlike wonder I wanted to cultivate. Those words sound so foolish now, making me want to both laugh and cry.
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IMPACT
Intramurals Festival 2008
THIS YEAR the Intramural program at Bath, open to all SA members, has really taken off. After a great opening day in October featuring squash, badminton, table tennis and futsal, leagues have run throughout the year. The futsal and 6-a-side leagues have been incredibly popular, as has the squash ladder. The Inter-Departmental Football Competition has again been extremely successful. This Wednesday 23rd April, the first ever Intramurals Festival is taking place in the STV. It’s going to be a massive day of mini sports tournaments. Events taking place are 7-a-side hockey and 5-a-side football on the astroturf pitches, netball and badminton in the STV hall, tennis on the indoor tennis courts, and athletics on the outdoor
track. Theafternoonwillalsofeature all four quarter-finals of the IDFC competition! Thedaywillfinishwithanathletics ‘pentathlon’opentoall,andit’sall completely free! If you don’t want to play a sport, everyone’s welcome to come and watch, cheer on their house and take advantage of the drinks promotions on offer in the Blues Cafe. The festival is open to everyone. To encourage as many people as possible to get involved, you do not need to be an SA member and anyone canplayanysport. Theonlyrulesare that you must play in a team made up of members of your house, and every team entry must include at least one male and one female member. Just head to www.BathStudent. com/sports/intramurals and sign
MONDAY 21ST APRIL 2008
up. If you want to play in a team with friends you can email susarec@bath.ac.uk with the names of your team members after they’ve all signed up. The Intramurals Festival will be an excellent day of sport, so come along, support your house and have fun. Sign up online now! On the evening of Wednesday 23rd, following the Intramurals Festival, Elements is hosting a “House Party” style Score. Celebrate the triumphs and miseries of the day (and the year!) wearing your house colours. Normal Score promotions will be available, as well as some custom house-colour-themed cocktails! The place will be decked out in honour of the four houses and the work all the players have put in. Tickets are available from Plug Bar all this week.
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Intramurals Festival 2008
Craig Pickering - Athletics
Timeline of Events Intramural Sports Festival. Wednesday 23rd April, 1pm-5pm. Campus Sports Facilities.
Blues Awards Evening.
Tom Reed - Judo
Friday 25th April. The Assembly Rooms, Bath. Vote for your sports personality of the year now! www.bathstudent.com/ sports
The University of Bath and Loughborough University have always been fierce rivals in sport, and the Real Varsity, now an annual fixture on the sporting calendar, brings the two powerhouses of University sport together. This year, the event will be hosted by Loughborough, where a dedicated 4,000-capacity stadium with a 2,000-seater grandstand is being erected. Our guys and girls need as much support as possible on this away fixture – so make sure you come and show your team the support they deserve!
Rugby Varsity Match. Wednesday 30th April – Coaches Depart 2pm. Loughborough University
Tickets are available from the Sports Association office now for £15, which includes transport to and from the venue, food, and one alcoholic drink or two soft drinks. University of Bath V Loughborough University Women’s KO 5.15pm Men’s KO 7.30pm Wednesday 30th April @ Loughborough University Departure from Bath: 2pm
Janne Schaefer - Swimming
BUSA Football Men’s Final. Wednesday 7th May. Loftus Road Football Ground. IDFC FINALS DAY Wednesday 7th May
An incredible season for our football team culminates in a visit to Loftus Road, taking on UWE Hartpury for the BUSA title.
Campus Sports Facilities The draw so far looks like this...
Education Chem Eng BUMS Arch. Civ. Eng
Nike+ Running Battle.
3RD/4TH PLACE
Beast Economics 2 Team Maths MoLES
5th – 30th May.
SEMI FINAL 1
SEMI FINAL 2
Wherever your feet take you…
FINAL
Get ready to Run Lufbra into the ground, in the Nike+ Running Battle. The Uni to run the most Kms from 5th May until 30th May wins. Look out for the Nike+ Bus on campus on 1st and 2nd May. There’ll be free Nike+ Sport Kits and details on how you can make our mortal enemies eat your dust! Run like you’ve never run before...
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Arts
Check Out This Gobby Lot Student Music
SHIFTY Work by BDF
Bath Dance Forum: SHIFT 08 Saturday 17 May, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre £7, £5 Concessions, £5 University staff, £3 BUSU
SHIFT 08 is Bath Dance Forum’s (BDF) annual platform of new and exciting work created by various companies and individual artists from the Bath area. The programme includes a variety of new and recent work incorporating a mixture of styles, including some work for camera. The work in this evening’s showcase has been inspired by ICIA’s theme of ‘Arts, Spatialisation and Memory’. BDF is a not-for-profit group of dance artists, teachers and choreographers from the Bath area, who recognise the importance of professional development and exchange fresh ideas to enrich their practice, teaching and choreographic creations. The forum encourages and supports existing and emerging dance artists and companies in B&NES, providing a point of contact for local dancers, with information and networking opportunities, as well as offering contemporary dance classes at both beginners and an advanced level.
Gob Squad’s Kitchen: You’ve Never Had It So Good Saturday 5 July, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre £9, £7 Concessions, £7 University staff, £5 BUSU
Talks Uriel Orlow Saturday 26 April, 2.30-4pm 16-18 Queen Square, Bath £3, £2.50 Concessions
USING A wide variety of media, from video and sound to photography, billboard posters, text and drawing, Uriel Orlow’s work explores different ways in which histories and memories are embedded in architectural spaces, landscapes or the human body. Central to Orlow’s projects are the figure of the archive and the agency of the artist as archivist and mediator. His work has been included in exhibitions and film festivals internationally and is held in private and public collections.
Dan Gretton Saturday 10 May, 2.30-4pm 16-18 Queen Square, Bath £3, £2.50 Concessions DAN GRETTON is a co-director and co-founder of the pioneering arts and social sciences group PLATFORM. His forthcoming book ‘Desk Killer’ examines the world of the bureaucrats, planners and businessmen who colluded in the Holocaust. He asks whether the psychology and behaviour that enabled genocide to occur then is still present today, in the institutional culture of transnational corporations. Dan discusses the relationship between the clean, calm corporate office space, sites of terrifyingly destructive events, and the emotional compartmentalisation that is a feature of both perpetrator psychology and corporate psychology.
A NEW live film with bad coffee, nervous breakdowns, wild parties and modern hairstyles. It’s 1965 and everything is just about to happen! Pop, subculture, superstars, feminism,drugs,brightlightsandsexare about to rock the world like never before. Award-winning British-German collective Gob Squad take the hand of the King of Pop himself, Andy Warhol, and take a trip back to the arty underground cinemas of New York City, back to where it all began. Gob Squad set themselves the task of reconstructingWarhol’s‘Kitchen’,despite the fact that none of them have seen it as the film is unavailable for viewing these days. How can they get it just right? How do they know if they’re going wrong? How did people dance in 1965? What did they talk about? Had feminism happened? Or wasityettobegin? ‘GobSquad’sKitchen’ becomes a journey back in time and back to thefutureagain. Aquestfortheoriginal, theauthentic,thehereandnow,therealme, therealyou,thehiddendepthsbeneaththe shiny surfaces of modern life. Free after show discussion, all welcome.
The Radio Science Orchestra with special guest Ken Hollings: Memories of the Future Friday 25 April, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre £9, £7 Concessions, £7 University staff, £5 BUSU IN A special one-off event, The Radio Science Orchestra perform a live score to aseriesofshortfilmsdealingwith‘radio scientific’ subjects including inner and outer space, flying saucers, telepathy, sputnik and the atomic age. The Orchestra consists of a rhythm section, keyboards, horns, strings and vintage electronics including theremins and moog synthesisers.
Invented in 1920, the theremin became the world’s first practical electronic instrument, and remains the only one today to be played without being touched. Not to be confused with sound or light beams, it emits an electromagnetic field that interacts with its player to create music. Featuring compositions by Ron Grainer, Delia Derbyshire, Claude Debussy and Barry Gray (Supermarionation) as well as RSO standards and new music written especially for ICIA. With guest Ken Hollings, a Londonbased cult author who draws freely upon trash culture, weird science, political intrigue and strange connections to reconfigure reality.
Weekend Orchestra, Wind Band, Choral Society & Barbers Saturday 26 April, 7.30pm St. Michael’s Church, Bath £5, £3 Concessions
SYMPHONIC ORCHESTRAL pieces, male barbershop, easy listening wind band music and sensational chorus scoring marks the end of an extremely successful year of student musicmaking.
Wind Band, Gasp & BUBBA Sunday 27 April, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre £5, £3 Concessions
SWINGING BIG Band jazz, lilting wind band pieces and upbeat, roof raising gospel, pop and soul tracks from the 50-strong GASP choir.
Raku Saturdays 3 & 10 May, 10am4pm Studio 2, ICIA Arts Complex £68, £48 Concessions, £48 University staff, £28 BUSU
EXPERIENCE THE satisfaction of making and glazing ceramic pots and forms over two days. Raku is a traditionalJapaneserapidfiringprocess where pots are removed red-hot from the kiln. Its spontaneity results in a unique finish, making it an exciting method to inspire beginners and experienced potters alike. Participants must take part in both days. Tutor: Sue Ford
Pigeon Theatre: The Rehearsal (a trilogy) Saturday 10 May, 7pm Claverton Rooms Bar £9, £7 Concessions, £7 University staff, £5 BUSU Performed live in the bar - first drink free!
IN A bar, at the end of a long night’s drinking, two performers get together with the audience to plan and rehearse atheatricalevent. Itisarehearsalofa ‘new’ show but also a rehearsal of, and an attempt to come to terms with, the inevitabilityofthedeathofourselvesand our loved ones. This unique trilogy, with its three versions, is performed by a different ‘couple’: two twenty-something women, two fifty-something men and a seventysomething year-old couple. Each show isrelatedtotheothers,butisaradically differentreflectionon,andrehearsalof,the processes and potentialities of dying. Pigeon Theatre, a Manchester-based physical performance company, refuse tobelimitedbytheconfinesofthestage, forcing us to rethink what a performance space can be. Distinctive and playful, they lay bare the methods and strategies ofcreativity,investigatingtime,death, memory and imagination. Fuelled by alcohol, this is an erotic, exhilarating and excessively intimate show in a real bar.
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Competitions
WIN COMPETITIONS WIN A copy of... A copy of... ‘Ask for It: How Women can use the Power of Negotiation to get what they really want’
TO WIN you simply have to answer the following question:
Who does the beast on the left remind you of?
All answers should be e-mailed to deputy@bathimpact.com by the 28th of April. The most original answers will receive copies of this fabulously feminist book. Good luck, and may the force be with you all.
Somewhere on the other side of the good old pond, our Yank mate, Senator John Kerry, once spake the following words:
“The competition’s tough, and it requires us to be tougher - tough-minded, never hard hearted”
‘How to do just about anything in Microsoft Word’
TO WIN you simply have to answer the following question:
Who does the beast on the right remind you of?
All answers should be e-mailed to deputy@bathimpact.com by the 28th of April. The most original answers will receive copiesofthisintellectuallystimulating book. Good luck, and may the force be with you all.
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Sport FOOTBALL
PENTATHLON
End of the Season, it’s Squeaky Bum Time
British Success in World Cup
Marcus Haydon AS THE end of the season rapidly approaches, we enter the period once dubbed ‘squeaky bum time’ by Sir Alex Ferguson. Squeaky bum time (uncountable) (idiomatic) (UK informal). A period near the end of a competition such as a football league, when closely matched competitors vie for the lead. It is at this point that I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on how things looked at the start of the season. Has the campaign panned out quite as we had expected amongst the blind optimism of the summer months? August saw Arsenal fly out of the blocks, remaining unbeaten domestically until early December. Whilst all the pre-season talk concerned the departure of Thierry Henry, Wenger seemed to have blended what had remained into a serious candidate for the title. On a more jovial note, Jens Lehmann provided much of the early season entertainment, handing both Fulham and Blackburn cheap goals in the first two fixtures. The opening day also saw Sam Allardyce return to the Reebok to inflict at 3-1 defeat on his former club. Newcastle’s auspicious start was both confident and clinical; talk of a strong top half finish could be heard on the banks of the Tyne. Manchester United were surprisingly disjointed as they were held to a goalless draw at home to
Reading. With no Tevez and Saha, and Rooney stretchered off injured in the first half, United looked blunt and predictable in attack. Their city rivals however, started impressively at West Ham. Jose Mourinho (remember him?) and Chelsea started with a strangely exhilarating 3-2 victory over a daring Birmingham. Such defensive frailties were almost unheard of under the guidance of ‘The Special One’ and his normally well drilled backline. Derby County looked in for a long, hard slog; they only collected one point in August, leaving them bottom. However, the table at this point should be read with caution - it also showed that Manchester United sat in 19th, with one point from three games! So, was the first month of the season representative of what has gone since? Well Sam Allardyce’s honeymoon period at Newcastle lasted for approximately ninety minutes. Despite sitting comfortably in 11th in January, ten points clear of safety and ten points adrift of Europe, Allardyce was practically hounded out of Tyneside by an angry black and white striped army. Thank god then that their savour Kevin Keegan came back to save them again. They did, after all, need saving after they only picked up three points from his first nine games and found themselves in amongst the relegation dogfight. Although many would have been quick to predict a painful end to Allardyce’s reign at St James, few
would have said the same regarding Jose Mourinho’s far more prosperous spell at Chelsea. Cracks in The Blues facade were certainly apparent well before Mourinho’s sudden departure; however the actual realisation of his departure provoked protestations from fans and mourning amongst the playing squad. The Blues Premier League campaign has remained on track. New boss Avram Grant admirably weathered the post-Mourinho desolation; however bizarre tactical decisions in the Carling Cup Final and an embarrassing FA Cup exit at Barnsley seem to have reignited the scrutiny regarding his managerial credentials, as did the tame draw to Wigan that all but handed Manchester United the title. Good job then, that Abramovich has handed him a new five year contract. Anyone would think that Grant only got the job because of his personal friendship with the Russian oligarch… Arsenal continued how they had started, looking like real contenders for the title with their typical brand of dynamic and inventive football. However, a horrific afternoon at Birmingham in February robbed them of not only Eduardo da Silva but also, it seems, their bottle. Since then, Wenger’s men have dropped points against Wigan, Middlesbrough (again!), Aston Villa and Chelsea, not to mention their second half collapse at Old Trafford, meaning another trophyless season beckons for Arsene Wenger.
Latest Jiu-Jitsu News Syed Momin Zaidi Jiu-Jutsu Events Officer shmz20@bath.ac.uk SIX WEEKS ago, impact told you about Bath Ju-Jitsu’s outstanding performance at the Randori Nationals in March. Now, we’re pleased to be back to report on our latest success! Some of you may recall from our previous article that we were going to be holding a demo on the Parade. Well, we did, and the response was fantastic! There were a total of fourteen jitsukas involved, both on the mat and off; on the mat we had Tom Bridger, Chris Campbell, Dave Goundry, Chris Guiver, Will Harding, Chris
Hayward, Karen Kong, Laraine Mak, James Penistone, Nick Walkden and Syed Momin Zaidi, and off the mat but no less involved were Laurence Ford, Kabir Rai Singh and Charli Reynolds, handing out flyers and chatting to those of you who came by to watch. The crowd itself took up nearly all the space outside the library and even extended to the walkways along its front – a huge thank you from all of us to those who showed interest and gave us such fantastic support! The demo kicked off with a warmup led by Chris Guiver, who did a great job in directing us and generating lots of attention with kemikata, circles, Vs and daisy chains.
Later on, Sensei Dave Clay took over with demonstrations in throws and some more advanced techniques, showcasing the best of Bath’s JiuJitsu regime. Big thank yous go out to the two Christophers and Sensei Clay for taking the time to lead us, as well as Karen and Syed for stressing out over the organisation, and of course all the jitsukas who gave up their lunchtimes to take part! For those of you not familiar with Jiu-Jitsu, it is the full-contact martial art from which Judo arose, and converse to popular opinion is not based on physical size and strength, but movement, momentum and confidence.
Fernando Torres and his £26.5m price tag have produced an excellent goal return for Liverpool, but the Merseysiders still look to have moved backwards this season; out of the running for the title again and with their supporters fervently protesting against the out of touch Yank owners. Without a firing Torres and Gerrard partnership Liverpool look predictable and will again have to rely on Europe if they are to add to their trophy cabinet come May. Down at the bottom Derby have already been condemned to a swift return to the Championship - they have a sizeable task just to avoid being the lowest ever points takers in Premier League history. So was the first month symptomatic of the campaign as a whole? Well, other than Derby and their prolific dropping of points, not really. United now find themselves in pole position to take the title. Chelsea still look as mechanised as they did under Mourinho, but unfortunately for Avram Grant, not quite so ruthless. Liverpool’s early season optimism has dissipated, along with any ounce of respect that may have existed for their American owners. Arsenal are still Arsenal – sublime to the ridiculous. One thing that hasn’t changed though is that, after their recent upturn in form, talk on the Tyne is of the top half again. Anyway, enough chat, get those earplugs in, there is going to be plenty of unbearable squeaking of bums between now and May.
The point of Jiu-Jitsu is to learn self-defence, discipline and calmness in the face of a challenge, but the lessons themselves are fun and relaxed, focusing on technique and growth of self. Classes themselves are held both in town and at the University dojos (the one at the Uni being one of the best in the region), and you can do the first two weeks of sessions for free and with no obligation. Sound interesting? You can find more information as well as pictures and videos at www. bathjitsu.co.uk/, our Facebook group at http://www.facebook.com/group. php?gid=2319497932 and watch more videos of our previous exploits, including Randori and Atemi Nationals on YouTube on JitsuSparty or pumpkinfoodle’s accounts.
TWO BRITISH women secured top ten finishes in round four of the 2008 Modern Pentathlon World Cup in Madrid recently. Mhairi Spence came home sixth in the women’s final with 5200 points - her first top ten World Cup finish of the year. Georgina Harland produced another strong run to cross the line in tenth on 5176 points - her second successive top ten World Cup finish after her seventh place two weeks ago in Millfield. Jan Bartu, Pentathlon GB performance director based at the high performance centre at the University of Bath, said: “It was a very tough day today. In a way this was good to remind us about the strength of the competition we face”. “Mhairi finishing sixth and Georgina tenth is not bad at all against the best in the world,” he said. Spence produced the best British performance in the fencing salle - her 22 wins and 13 defeats gave her 928 points - propelling her up the rankings to ninth. Spence climbed to fourth, her highest place of the day, with a swim of 2:19.01 for 1252 points, while Harland continued to climb up the field, her 2:18.85 for the 200m freestyle gave her 1256 points and fifteenth overall. The traditionally unpredictable element of the modern pentathlon is the show jumping, when riders draw lots for horses and have just twenty minutes to familiarise themselves with their mounts. Spence kept up her challenge. She lost 124 points from the clear round in time allowed, scoring 1200 to hold on to her fourth place overall on 4280 points, while Harland’s 976 gave her 4052 for 21st overall. It all came down to the final discipline, the 3k run. Harland produced a trademark strong run, clocking a time of 10:49.70 - the best time in the field - to finish tenth overall. Spence’s 11:40.75 saw her drop a couple of places to sixth overall at the end of the day.
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Sport
Gethin Bevan Touch Rugby Sevens Tournament 2008 SUNDAY APRIL 13th saw the first Gethin Bevan Touch Rugby Sevens Tournament, a tournament fittingly won by a side that had travelled up from the Amman Valley, made up of a dozen of his rugby team mates. With the enjoyment of the day going hand in hand with the friendly spirit between the teams not only were there dozens of fantastic games, but £600 was also raised though a raffle at the end of the day; someone walked off with a ball signed by the entire Ospreys/ Wales side. Although billed as a minimum contact event some teams took this extremely liberally and it was no surprise to see a game between two sides made of American Football players descend into virtually a full contact game. After the group stages had been completed a number of teams shone as potential winners, including a side representing Bath Saracens, inclusive of a first team ringer, that narrowly missed the final. The final was a tense and close game, with Amman Valley taking on the WelshSoc, fittingly kitted out in red. Amman Valley, despite having a player yellow carded and sin binned for a minute, pulled off the victory, with the pace of their attack a joy to behold.
Twenty20 Cricket Goes Global
Adrian Dalmedo Sport Editor sport@bathimpact.com
IT MUST be nearing summer, mustn’t it? The domestic cricket season has officially started and a seemingly ageless Mark Ramprakash continues to score hundreds for Surrey knowing that he won’t be getting an England recall. Last Friday also marked the start of something so innovative and unique thatobviouslyitisn’tactuallyhappening here in England under the responsibility of the ECB. Of course I’m talking about the IPL, which Google seems to think is a company providing computer software and systems, Iran Pro League, Iran’s Highest Football League or the Instituto Politecnico Loyola, located in San Cristobal, Dominican Republic. The IPL comes with a clear mission
statement:Jazzupcricketandbringittothe fans. To this end they seem to be spot on, as the organisers unveil plans of cheerleaders, music and spotlights following players to the crease. Furthermore, by my reckoning the best value seats at each venue are going to cost considerably less than a pint of Staropramen in the Plug. Granted there have been more than a couple of organisational problems in the build up to the first game, journalists have complained of poor media access, some players have complained that they haven’t been paid on time and there isn’t a single replica shirt to be seen. These are just teething problems and it’s the positives of this groundbreaking event that we need to look at. Matches are being played at sociable times to cater for pretty much every test-playing nation’s various time zones through a combination of early starts and day/night games.
So how go about picking which team to support when they’re all based more than four and a half thousand miles away? Given that the only Englishman playing is journeyman Dimi Mascharenas I felt something more sophisticated was required: put all eight team names in a hat and pick one out. I’m now a proud Kolkata Knight Riders fan. Once I’d got over my disappointment that they have absolutely no involvement with the Hoff and discovered that Kolkata is the new name for Calcutta it was time to check the team out. ApotentiallylethaltrioofGanguly, Ponting and Akhtar looks promising, and the team can look to draw upon the big hitting Chris Gayle and the mercurial 5”5’ Zimbabwe wicket keeper Tatenda Taibu. It’ll be good to see how new kid on the block,
Ishant Sharma, who’s pocketing a tidy $950,000 from the tournament, will perform too. Apparently my team have an anthem called ‘Korbo, Lorbo, Jitbo Re’ (translated ‘We will do it, Fight for it, Win it’), which can, no jokes, be downloaded from the team website, and the official colours are black and gold.
Amusingly the team also has a mascot, the tacky looking, bizarrely named ‘Hoog Lee’,whoisactuallyatiger.Fairplayto him though, as the team’s website informs me that he is “much more than your usual mascot. Catch his antics as he cheers the team with Hoog Lee-Isms, personally selects the team cheerleaders, and, most importantly, tries to avoid hard work of any kind!” AllthatremainsisaquicktriptoWill Hill and stick a tenner on them to win it!
sport impact
Covering the issues that matter to students
England Wins British Universities Games
AFTER FOUR days of intense competition across five sports it was English Universities who returned home from Edinburgh with the Home Nations Festival Trustees Trophy. English Universities retained their 2006 title with some outstanding performances across a variety of sports. With maximum points obtained from football, badminton and basketball, English Universities finished on an impressive 26 points with Scottish Universities finishing second with a 20 point haul. The Badminton competition also gave English Universities maximum points as English Universities dominated proceedings. English Universities dropped only two games all week, winning 9-1, 9-1 and 10-0 over England ‘Select’, Scottish Universities and Welsh Universities respectively. This three win sequence meant English Universities retained their 2006 title, and with England ‘Select’ taking the silver spot it was success all round for the squad. A similar story was evident in the men’s & women’s basketball
competition as English Universities remained undefeated to bring both titles back across the border. Scottish Universities battled hard in both the competitions but ultimately to no avail as they finished in runner-up spot in both leagues. Welsh Universities women suffered a miserable week in the basketball tournament finishing the Games with no points and a -169 goal difference. The netball competition was arguably the closest of all the sports as Northern Ireland Universities returned home with their only gold from the Games. The pivotal game came on day three as English Universities and Welsh Universities shared the points in a thrilling 45-45 draw. With Northern Ireland Universities winning all their games, defeating English Universities by only two points 4442, it ensured they retained their 2006 title. English Universities took the silver medal by a solitary point from Welsh Universities after they defeated Scottish Universities by a greater margin than Welsh Universities had, warranting a bonus point.
Gethin Bevan Sevens 2008: Page 27
TeamBath FC Two Games Away From Promotion TeamBath Gloucester City
4 2
THE RACE for automatic promotion out of the BGB Premier League is hotting up for TeamBath FC. As things stand TeamBath are in second, two points behind leaders King’s Lynn, with two matches still be played. The University side moved to the top of the table after a thrilling comeback earned them a 4-2 victory over Gloucester City at Twerton Park two weekends ago, but the Linnets hammered Bashley 5-0 in their game in hand on Tuesday to replace them and go two points clear at the summit. TeamBath coach Andy Tilson believes the pressure is off his side going into the final fixtures. “It’s
very simple for us - the mindset has to be to go out and win the last two games and even then it might not be enough for the title,” he said after the Gloucester fixture, mindful of King’s Lynn’s superior goal difference. “I always think that takes the pressure off you as a player because you know exactly what you have to do and how you have to approach things. “There are still so many scenarios, but we must affect the two games we are able to affect and let the rest take care of itself.” TeamBath made things hard for themselves, going 2-0 down to Gloucester and their title dreams looked to be in tatters as they trailed to goals from Jack Pitcher and Lee Smith inside the first fourteen minutes. But they were level at the break after Joe Arnold and Takumi Ake
struck and Sean Canham’s 31st league goal of the season put them ahead for the first time before substitute Matt Cooper wrapped up the points. Tilson said: “It was a great result, if not a cracking performance, on Saturday. “We showed great character to come from 2-0 down, but we have got to start better because you cannot give sides an advantage like that and expect to win. “Over the last three games, we have shown signs of being a proper team. “We played very well the week before against King’s Lynn and deserved to win that one and were excellent going forward at Bashley but ended up losing. “We just need to put the three elements - character, flair and real spirit - together over the last couple of games and hope that it’s enough.”
FULL GUIDE: Pages 20 & 21
The IPL is Coming: Page 27
Who Will Win in 2008?: Page 26
Jitsu: Page 26