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mintyfresh... fresher than Apollo 13’s air supply
Tuesday 27th September 2011
Events burst into full swing and we at mintyfresh are suitably impressed by the ‘inflated’ efforts...
We’ve honestly never seen any freshers fight QUITE like you lot did, but we’re not ones to judge, we just wish we were allowed a go! Actually, mintyfresh did catch a word with two dainty, exhausted Derhill dudettes, Alex and Briiany, who semed pretty happy to be out and whacking each other with giant appendages. Finally, the Snow Sports’ challenge, (bizarrely called the ‘Jolly Fun Badger Experience’, anyone?) offered a motion-sicknessinducing buzz as students rode a bucking board to victory, earning themselves further Campus Challenge points and maybe even a little street cred. The rivalries also began to brew today as freshers seemed to become
Big bouncy things induce big giggles from the Brendon Court captains
Look at that guy mince. This DID end badly!
Monday morning saw mintyfresh reporters roaming a (mostly deserted) campus, as Freshers either shied away from reality, recovering from the night before, or traipsed obediently to the Founders Sports Hall for the welcome speeches courtesy of the VC and SU President David Howells. But, as midday hit, the masses (along with the sun) emerged and campus flooded with a veritable array of pastel-clad Freshers eager to ‘show their colours’ and take on the Campus Challenge. The event presented 18 challenges including juggling with the Gravity Vomit crew, ‘The Wetter The Better’ with Student Community Action and even a bout of video gaming for you indoor types in The Plug. The highlight of the Challenge had to be the field of inflatables, guaranteed to slay feeble freshers! First to greet the challengers was the blow up assault course, which pitted fresher against fresher to test speed, stamina and bounce-back-ability - as did the second magnificent obstacle, the Bungie Run. Contenders then faced the ‘Beat-a-Fresher’ gladiator podium, where two wobbling warriors battered each other with inflatable sausages.
Local MP Don Foster’s message to freshers when speaking to our Editor today: “Don’t sit and whinge... GET INVOLVED!”
GIRLS vs. GUYS
We all know freshers love getting wet and wild
frightened/angry when parted from people wearing similar colours... A well as all the Challenge mayhem, the bus stop was taken over by a troop of breakdancers earlier this afternoon (we assume they were from BREAK, our very own breakdancing society) we didn’t approach to confirm this, however, through fear of losing limbs. mintyfresh was pretty impressed with your stamina, after the partying last night we didn’t think we’d see anyone emerge in the morning hours, but you seem determined to soldier on and have a good time! We definitely saw more Marlborough tshirts than Eastwood ones today, but that didn’t stop WESTWOOD from winning!
These guys and dolls all had some very, er, unique sparring methods. The best way to win seemed to involve waiting until you caught your opponent off-guard and could divebomb them off their podium. Jolly good... but we did notice they were all from Westwood! What are you playing at, Eastwood? Solsbury...? Woodland Court?!
!EPIC FRESHER WIN! One guy from Woodland Court told us about his night (in rather too much detail, admittedly) but made us laugh when he revealed that while in the throes of passion, he recieved a fat lip! Apparently that didn’t stop him, though, and he bravely carried on through the pain barrier until the, um... very end. We salute you, sir. We also heard reports of one brave Woodland chap from W3D1 who was doing the horizontal monster mash with his flatmate only hours after moving in...
The launch goes off with a bang and Freshers’ Week really gets underway... Brought to you by the bathimpact team
www.bathimpact.com
Marlborough show us just how many people they can cram into a kitchen... turns out it’s a lot!
SA3 was 'the place to be' (“LOOK, IT RHYMES!”) tonight; we were impressed by your need to party - even around the puddles of vomit. That is dedication. We mounted Marlborough to find a very impressive party underway on level four. Eastwood South, though we hear it can be a little grotty, was also raving it up, although nothing explains the story of the female fresher who started to chew on her crewmember to escape from a headlock; self defence is one thing, but cannibalism is another. Quantock has reached the dizzying heights of party of the night, simply because of the charitable nature of your freshers and Crew, your keenness for socialising, making human pyramids and telling us about the downfalls of your housemates. Let it be said, you know how to have a good time, however, Ed ‘fail’ Fresher may suggest you're having a bit too much of a good time. Quantock‘s Freddie is being hailed a “Total Lad” by his housemates on completing the ‘Two Girls, Two Nights’ challenge. After lifting up his shirt to show mintyfresh that someone had scrawled the word “Gay” across his torso, we began to wonder if this is in actual fact out to prove himself. (Giving Mr Woodland a run for his money?) Many freshers tonight have had the bright idea of binding up unsuspecting housemates with sellotape. Eastwood newcomers were having the time of their life laughing at taped-up trooper Findlay. When mintyfresh left the property, they cruelly locked him out, shouting “HIS ACTUAL NAME IS FIND-A-LAY, BUT HE’S NOT LIVING UP TO IT!”. Derhill was the same, with one girl having been tied up for half an hour. They taunted her numerous times by pretending to undo the make-shift handcuffs, but only added more. Queueing for the launch party took
longer than the queue for a pizza in plug last night as the battle of the halls continued, colours gathered and chanted colourfully, each crowd making sure the other knew exactly where they were from, it seems that the tshirts, though a massively awesome idea were a huge fail as all of this years’ freshers !FRESHERS OF THE NIGHT! seem to be colour-blind. Freshers of the night, Shaun (right) and Max (left) The antics continued outside, and of Marlborough would REALLY REALLY like you as wheelbarrow races between Eastwood all to admire and adore this photo of them (the and Westwood ensued, heels were removed third we took in a row to get it juuuuust right) and if you like it, give them a call on 07825642*** and so, perhaps, were hymens. and 07584201*** and - if you make the grade, girls - you might make Sean’s phone book ‘hit list’. You lucky, lucky ladies.
!EPIC FRESHER FAIL!
Rivalry reaches new heights as freshers launch themselves into the ether...
Postgrads throw some serious shapes This wouldn’t be Freshers’ Week without postgrads and the first kicked off last night in The Tub, fresh from its summer refurbishment. There was chaos all around, particularly from an eager Management PG Jon, who moonwalked to the dancefloor and cracked out some exceptional moves as a dare from his friend Rhys. All was good, except he was the only one dancing. We were constantly told Bath had really impressed and that in the flesh it is even better, but of course, you all know that!
Our thoughts go out to Ed from Quantock who decided at around 2am yesterday morning to take a walk down into town through some brambles and jumped off a wall, spraining his ankle (we hope your injuries heal quickly). Luckily for him, once he was falling asleep in the middle of a roundabout in the pouring rain, security rocked up and shepherded the little lamb back to bed. Ed’s comments on the matter were “I lost my bank card, my key card and a lot of my dignity”. Oh Ed, we all make mistakes.
BEST LEAST Dressed Fresher
11:00 to 15:00 City Tours 13:00 t0 18:00 Campus BBQs
QUOTES OF THE NIGHT:
PM
AM
COMING UP TOMO R R O W 20:00 - PG Dance Night: Claverton Rooms 20:00 - Poker Night : The Tub 21.30 - BEACH PARTY: Sports Hall
We genuinely can’t think of a caption.
- Amy from John Wood : “What’s John Wood got, John Wood’s got wood!” Our reporter - Inbetweeners Neil look-a-like: “I’ve got cough syrup and sleeping pills?” - “There’s a captain with blue balls running around somewhere!”