Minty Fresh... fresher than breast milk cheese Tuesday 28th September 2010
So who the hell is the Two Minute Man?
This guy claims to be the 4 Minute Man. He should be so lucky.
Last
night’s launch night was full of debauchery, scandal and of course, beer. Yes that’s right, events kicked off with the Bierkeller at Elements. Watching you dance to a band wearing Lederhosen whilst spilling entire jugs of ale down your front was almost as amusing as Derhill’s predrinking games (shark attack, grenade and ghecko were the MintyFresh faves). The most prominent feature of the night to take place was the scandalous revelation of a rather enigmatic young fellow… Some say he lures in the ladies with his pet gerbils… Others say he lives in
Housemates of the infamous Two Minute Man,
one of the Eastwood houses… All we know is he’s dangerous, he’s out there, he’s the Two Minute Man. Rumours are ravaging across campus of this guy’s identity, MintyFresh searched far and wide, finding the Four Minute Man, the Half Hour Man and the Two Minute 34 Seconds ‘what, that’s the average!’ Man, along the way. Any information on the Two Minute Man would be greatly appreciated. A pattern of shoeless Freshers emerged last night. ‘Scribbled all over’ Hannah was sporting the no-footwear look, saying exclusively to MintyFresh “I can’t even remember if I put them on before I left the house!” Hope you feel OK today Hannah, Minty love. Other highlights included a pink t-shirted Eastwooder trying to steal one of Gravity Vomit’s glowing green balls in his right pocket and proceeding to deny all knowledge of how it got there. The Brendon Court Army swept across campus, opposed by the Conygre Crew who were outraged their prelash party had been branded ‘illegal’. Belgian Chris amused passers-by as you guys made your way to the unforgettable launch party, made one and a half times better by a performance from the Chip Shop Boys. A special Minty shout out must go to Liverpudlian Jon from Polden Court who was marker penned from
head to toe, acting wonderfully debaucherous in his Statue of Liberty-esque hat, having consumed not a single drop of alcohol in his entire life. Good work dude.
MintyFresh girl Rebecca Stagg slums it in Cotswold.
Freshers even proposed in the search to become Minty’s Fresher of the Night.
These guys threatened to catch and kill MintyFresh like fish unless they appeared. Please don’t hurt us!
Tuesday’s Timetable 10:00 - 16:00 11:00 - 16:00 12:00 - 14:00 12:00 - 16:00 19:00 - 23:00
20:00 - 23:00 21:30 - 02:00 22:30 - 03:00
Carnival Day Parade Town tours & Canal Walk Town Chaplaincy Oxfam Lunch Campus Chaplaincy URB Unplugged Lake & Amphitheatre International Student UG Welcome Party Claverton Rooms Karaoke Elements Clubbers & Ravers Founders Sports Hall Tea and Toast Chaplaincy
Come and find us with all your stories and fresher news, and don’t forget to check out what’s been going on (and what’s to come!) on the daily CTV FW videos and the URB Fresh & in Focus podcast at bathstudent.com/ media
Sizzle My Nizzle: Grubs Up! As was to be somewhat expected after Sunday’s exertions, the Campus BBQs kicked off behind schedule, with not a flame, lump of charcoal in sight, nor the tempting smell of charred burger (mmm!) wafting in the air until well after half past three. Despite probably waking up feeling like your brain had been replaced with clay, you eager beavers still made it to the Freshers’ Week staple, our very own Vice Chancellor’s speech, and, of course, to see the famed ‘professor’ con-
Fresher of the Night: He could be the Two Minute Man. He could be all talk and no action. All we know is that Dev from Eastwood has happily earned the title of Lad of the Night with his fabulous rodent-based chat up lines and a lucky number of 5. Dev charmed the MintyFresh team (even David) into crowning him Monday Night’s FOTN. Come on, how could you say no to that face? Who will win the honour tomorrow? It could be you!
Produced by those nice folk at bathimpact Bath University Students’ Union Bath BA2 7AY Tel: 01225 38 6151 E-mail: editor@bathimpact.com Brought to you by: ducting a study on alcohol (yes, we had him too, all those years ago), a ruse which apparently none of you fell for (yeah right!). A technical glitch meant unlucky Eastwood folk had to trudge over to Westwood and Woodland Court in order to line their stomachs for tonight’s onslaught, and by the looks of things, even the grim weather didn’t stop you tucking in to sizzling chunks of meat, topped with a slice of melted, albeit fake, cheese. Just hope you MintyFreshened up afterwards!
Gina ‘Cosmopolitan’ Reay (Editor) Hannah ‘Jagerbomb’ Raymont (Deputy Ed) Katie ‘Mimosa’ Rocker (News) David ‘Vodka Martini (shaken not stirred)’ James (Opinion)
Rowan ‘Pint of lager’ Emslie (Ents) Julia ‘Mojito’ Lipowiecka (International) Rebecca ‘Sex on the Beach’ Stagg (Features) Joe ‘WKD’ Dibben (Contributor) Sam ‘Gin and tonic’ Foxman (Contributor)
What you, the critics, had to say: ‘‘The two minute man claimed it was only his Uncle Ben’s rice that took two minutes, he showed us the packet.’’A two minute man source Would you rather watch your parents in a porn movie or porn with your parents? ‘I’d rather watch my parents having sex with my parents.’ Some people just take it too far.. ‘‘Sex with the tin man or the scarecrow?’’ ‘‘Tin man definitely, you wouldn’t want hay stuffed up you.’’ Practically minded Fresher from Solsbury. ‘‘Breast milk cheese or
breast milk ice-cream?’’ ‘‘ice-cream – cheese is mould.’’ Standard. ‘‘Would you rather snort a ton of sherbert or a live bee?’’ ‘‘Sherbert cos’ you can’t get a bee up your nose when it’s flying about, you’ve got to kill it first.’’ ‘‘Our party was so amazing, if we put it on youtube it would get more hits than Justin Bieber.’’ Where was our invite, then? ‘Campus is so confusing. I tried to get home yesterday and ended up in Bath city centre.’ MintyFresh: ‘Where do you live?’ ‘Woodland Court.’’Very disorientated Fresher