Student Impact volume 10 Issue 1

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Monday 22nd September 2008 Volume 10 Issue 1 www.bathimpact.com

impact student

Luxury Accommodation Over My Remains Unfinished Hadleigh Roberts Deputy Editor deputy@bathimpact.com HOW WOULD you fancy moving into your accommodation where the paint on the walls is still wet?

This is likely to have been the case for many of the ‘lucky’ Woodland Court inhabitants this weekend.

Construction delays mean that some first years may have found

their accommodation incomplete on arrival.

Woodland Court, the newest accommodation block, is unlikely to be ready on schedule due to a tragic accident that happened last academic year that prevented building for nine weeks.

It is hoped that all buildings will be completed by Freshers’ Week and buildings will definitely be ready within two weeks of term

starting. The University is now acting on a contingency basis, and has warned those that may be affected. These students will be housed in Polden Court, Cotswold House, The Lodge and within Eastwood.

All affected will be compensated with regards to rent and all students will have access to bathroom and kitchen facilities, where kitchen facilities are not

deemed to be adequate students will be given meal vouchers.

Displaced students will still be living with their kitchen groups.

The Students’ Union expressed full support behind the University’s decision to house students oncamp us, rathe r t han p rovide temporary accommodation in local hotels. This is to ensure that all Freshers are able to enjoy their first weeks in Bath.

WORK IN PROGRESS: The new Woodland Court residence, which has suffered many setbacks in its construction.

Dead Body Gina Reay News Editor news@bathimpact.com

THE UNIVERSITY of Bath will soon be the first University in the UK to offer a degree in Funeral Services. Later this month 20 pupils will begin the course that has been developed by the University’s Centre for Death and Society (CDAS).

The degree will cover a range of theory and practice to do with funeral rituals, bereavement and ethnical issues as well as how to market a business whilst responding to new laws. Students have the option to study full time for two years or part time for three years.

Caron Staley, Manager of the CDAS, believes the qualification will be very valuable especially for mature students without many qualifications: “This course will give people in the industry the opportunity to acquire a degree level qualification. This is the first time that this has been available for people working within the funeral services.” Adding, “We are all very excited and looking forward to welcoming the first cohort of students at their induction in September of this year.”

PHOTO: Gina Reay

In impact this week...

Handy tips for saving your pennies.

Features, Page 8

A festival of festival reviews.

Ents, Pages 12 & 13

The face of God? Science, Page 15

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News

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Down it Freshers: Binge Drinking in the Spotlight

Editorial Team

Gina Reay News Editor news@bathimpact.com

Editor Deputy Editor News Editor Deputy News Editor Comment Editor Deputy Comment Editor Features Editor Deputy Features Editor Science Editor Deputy Science Editor Ents Editors Deputy Ents Editor Sport Editor Deputy Sport Editor Online Editor Deputy Online Editor Photo Editor Deputy Photo Editor Treasurer Chief Sub-Editor Proofreader

Josh Cheesman Hadleigh Roberts Gina Reay Position Vacant Charlotte King Position Vacant Rebecca Stagg Position Vacant Chris Bowdon Position Vacant Ben Cohen & Hannah Raymont Position Vacant Tim Leigh Position Vacant David Kennaway Position Vacant Peter Pratelli Position Vacant Hyun-Tak Shin Alex Brown Leon Osborne

Contact Details

IN EVERYBODY’S heads, Freshers’ week and university life in general goes hand in hand which binge drinking and alcohol abuse. The media are beginning to notice an alteration in the function of this introductory week of university events. All in all the aim of Freshers’ is to meet new people, not to get off our faces! Is it time to alter the stereotype of a student in Britain once and for all?

A recent study by The Guardian has found that from a UK sample of 3,075 students, 15% drank an unbelievably dangerous amount of 51 or more units per week for men and 36 or more units for women. However the survey concluded that these units are not drank in the university Student Unions therefore the national problem does not originate in student communities. Despite this claim, students are still drinking more than ever, a problem which affects both

their studies and their health.

In our eyes, alcohol is more available and affordable than ever.

In 2007 a survey by the department of health found that alcohol was 65% cheaper in 2006 than in 1980, just one reason for the rise in alcohol abuse amongst students, who are well known for being on a budget.

Many charities however stress how drink and drugs are not linked to having a good time and encourage students to know they can enjoy Fresher’s Week responsibly. Just look at Luke from this year’s Big Brother, a student in the spotlight for the first time explaining the benefits of enjoying student life without swearing, drinking, smoking or taking drugs!

The UK’s anti-drug campaign Frank also boasts the benefits of sobriety, giving students information on how to paint the town red without a nasty hangover or a come down the next morning. See http:// www.talktofrank.com for more information.

Phone - 01225 38 6151 Fax - 01225 44 4061 Email - editor@bathimpact.com Web - www.bathimpact.com Address -

Impact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY

If you want to write, design, take photos or otherwise contribute to impact, come along to a Contributors meeting, held every Monday in Elements at 6.30pm, get in touch with the Editor, pop into the office in Norwood House level 4 or log onto our website (www.bathimpact.com)

Students’ Union SU VP Activities and Development Hayden Arrowsmith SUactivities@bath.ac.uk 01225 383667 Societies Administrator Andree Peacock A.Peacock@bath.ac.uk 01225 38505

Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

Information The opinions expressed in impact are not necessarily those of the impact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. impact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information Printed by www.quotemeprint.com 0845 1300 667

Binge Drinking: It’s not big and it’s not clever...unless you put your glass on your head, then it’s both

Good News Students!

Gina Reay News Editor news@bathimpact.com THE ANNUAL National Student Survey has this year found out that Bath students are happier than ever before! The 2008 survey found that our satisfaction rate has risen by 3 percent to an overall figure of 88%.

This is a very positive 6 percent higher than the national average of 82%. Our Pro-Vice-Chancellor Professor Ian Jamieson is delighted by the news. He was also pleased to hear of the evident continuous improvement of the university in other categories: “It is gratifying to see that we have improved our ratings in every underpinning category of the NSS. We work closely with the Students’ Union to improve the student experience and are continually seeking ways to enhance our provision.”

The university have used the summer productively to make many more positive changes including 40 more PC stations in the library, a £7.5m refurbishment of Westwood

and Eastwood residences and improved access in 2 South and 3 East for disabled students.

So it looks like the Freshers are here just in time for Bath’s happiest year ever! But remember that if you’re not enjoying things, at the University of Bath there’s always someone to talk to. See http:// www.bath.ac.uk/students/support/ for more information or visit the AWARE website on bathstudent. com/aware.

POSITIVE THINKING: It’s always happy hour in Bath!

Editorial

Hello! Welcome to the first issue of Impact 2008-2009. I’m Josh Cheesman, and I’ll be your Editor -in-Chief this year.

The next year is set to be a brilliant one, with a great new team of editors in place, each with their own talents and all eager to bring something new and fresh to impact, but still committed to bringing you the best stories and articles the University of Bath has to offer.

But we can’t do it alone. Impact is a completely student newspaper, written and produced by full-time students. Anyone can join, and there are loads of ways to contribute – writing articles, taking pictures, designing page layouts and proofreading. You can do as much or as little as you want – you could only write one article for the whole year, or you can contribute a dozen pieces to every issue, you can even become a deputy editor.

If you’re interested, come along to our first meeting, which will be held on Monday September 29, at 7pm, in 4E3.5. Till then, keep an eye out for mintyFresh, our daily Freshers’ Week newsletter. It’ll feature all the action from the previous night’s events, with risqué photos and hilarious quotes.

Speaking of Freshers’ Week, if you want to know what’s going on and when, turn to the centre pages (page 10 and 11) to find the Freshers’ Week timetable. There’ll be events all day, every day, and it’s the best time to get out there, meet new people, and just have loads of fun.

Anyway, back to this issue. We’ve got a varied selection of articles for you, including news, features, reviews and sport. In News, Gina Reay bring us a report on binge drinking, why Bath is a great place to live, and the first sighting of a monster on campus…The Comment section offers three sets of opinions: Leon Osborne on graffiti, Hadleigh Roberts on Labour, and myself on joblessness.

Features brings us a combination of one-offs and regular articles, as Josie Cox and Sian Lewis tell of their adventures abroad, Laura Scantlebury gives a guide to Bath, and the enigmatic Madame Soufflé returns. Science editor Chris Bowdon, on the other hand, gives us an eclectic mix of moobs, web browsers and flying spaghetti monsters.

In Ents, Ben Cohen and Hannah Raymont review wild festivals, new singles and the latest offering from the Streets. Finally, Tim Leigh gives us his unique take on Sports, with articles on the Olympics, Brian Ashton’s move to Bath Uni, and an interview with the SU’s Vice President of Sport.

So sit back, put your feet up, and enjoy the issue.

MONDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER 2009

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Comment

Numbers Show a Fourth Term for Labour

Hadleigh Roberts Deputy Editor deputy@bathimpact.com

LABOUR COULD still win the next General Election. Despite poll woes, party troubles and policy mistakes, a Tory Government is no forgone conclusion. Though many are acting as if failure is inevitable, it is still possible for Labour to snatch victory from the (silver-spooned) jaws of defeat.

Putting politics aside for the time being, statistics alone point to a fourth term.

Political geography favours Gordon Brown. If both major parties were to perform equally well at the election, Labour would still win 80 more seats than the Tories. This means that David Cameron would have to win another two million votes to earn the same number of seats. To break even, the Tories require a 6% lead, and an even bigger 10% per cent to earn an overall

working majority. This seems like a walkover considering the current double figure lead the Conservatives have at the moment, until you learn the history lesson that every government from the mid-50s to mid-90s that suffered difficulties half-way through the term enjoyed a significant poll recovery. It is highly likely that the Government will close the gap to avoid a wipeout, and there is enough time to tighten the race and prevent a 10-point lead, and perhaps catch-up enough to rob Cameron of the 6% benchmark.

Although the label has been applied in many cases, Gordon Brown is not John Major. In the Crewe and Nantwich byelection, Labour lost 40% of its vote.

Combined with the same result in Glasgow East, this seems devastating, and foreboding of things to come. That is, until it is compared to the Dudley West byelection in 1994, where the

Conservative vote collapsed by a spectacular 80%.

Labour woes are fundamentally different, as Gordon Brown has been a fashionable scapegoat over the past year. The YouGov polling boss, Peter Kellner, presents research that shows that having dealt with floods and other horsemen (whose horses had foot-and-mouth or bluetongue), voters do not blame Brown for obviously international issues like rising food and fuel prices, but still want help from the government. So while the credit crunch is global, current economic problems contrast hugely with Black Wednesday, which was a fully-patented Tory disaster. It marked the beginning of the end for John Major, but Gordon Brown is in a very different position.

The double-figure Tory poll lead is incredibly overrated.

All the hype about a landslide of Blairesque proportions is

guy from a normal Northern family.

The reason that I can afford not to have a job is that I still have plenty of my student loan leftover. Being thrifty pays off sometimes.

I don’t drink or smoke, I watch what I spend while living in Bath, and I rarely make impulse purchases (seriously, I own less than a dozen CDs, and only twice as many DVDs).

As a result, I don’t need to spend twenty hours a week in a shop just to go out with my mates.

Yes, my loan is money I’ll have to pay off one day. But I figure that I might as well enjoy it while I’m young. I’m sure you’ll agree that being at university can be a real burnout, and so the holidays, particularly the summer holiday, are a time for rest and relaxation.

The last thing I’d want to be doing is working.

Without a job, I’m free to do what I want, when I want. Conversely, my friends in employment just seem disheartened by the amount of time they need to spend at work. I want to stress the fact that they don’t need the money, they work because they

feel compelled to, or for the sake of luxuries. As a result they usually only get one or two days off a week to themselves, whereas I’m able to do things on a whim. Not working also gives me time to sort out all the little tasks that need doing, like giving blood and teaching my Dad how to use his MP3 player.

Some would say that not having a job now means that I will lack experience on my CV when I apply for jobs later in life. I disagree. I think being heavily involved in student media for two years, and just starting a year as the editor of the University newspaper is excellent experience for being a journalist.

That brings me to my final point: I will get a job one day, but that will be a proper job, one to support myself and any family I may one day have.

I’m not advocating a life on the dole, and I accept that having a part time job suits some students. But it’s not for me. I’ll get a job when I need one, but till then I’m content spending my term time working and my holidays having fun. After all, you’re only young once.

ridiculous as in 1995 and 1996 (the same sort of mid-term time scale before the election) Tony Blair earned extraordinary approval ratings which hit 70%. Factor in Cameron’s ratings, which occaisionaly struggle to 50%, and the scale of defeat fizzles out. It seems that while the Leader of the Opposition appears likeable, compassionate and competent, he is exposed as lightweight, shallow and very out-of-touch.

As Cameron is a poor impression of Tony Blair, he cannot win an election by himself. The Old School Tories of yesterdecade still frighten voters who can remember them (as a generation have grown up under Labour, which may explain why Brown’s history lessons of “15% interest rates” and “3 million unemployed” fail to resonate with everyone).

Nevertheless, the Tory Party still appears unchanged and Tories still appear as untrustworthy crypto-

Thatcherites. Unfortunately for Cameron, he cannot even command a successful gagging order on his team, as Micheal Gove released plans to privatise education and the farcical David Davis byelection.

Essentially, the facts point to Brown winning, barely, though probably losing his majority. In the event of a hung parliament it is probable that Labour would remain the biggest party, but what would happen then is uncertain.

Lib Dem Nick Clegg, a David Cameron impersonator by profession, has taken the Liberal Democrats to the right, and is likely to act as a Tory puppet. It all depends on Brown re-establishing Labour as the party of fairness on the way to economic recovery.

Having been Chancellor for 10 years it seems logical that Gordon Brown is the best man to navigate Britain through turbulent financial waters, but even with the wind in his sails, the captain may well go down with the ship.

Unemployed and Proud of it Be Careful When Josh Cheesman Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com

THERE ARE three things I can always count on being told to do by my family when I come back from university for the holidays – get a haircut, take my driving test and get a job. The first is easy enough; a quick walk down to the local shopping centre takes care of the shaggy mop I acquire over the course of the year. The second is something I mean to get round to, although the longer I put it off the more convinced I am that getting behind the wheel of a car again will result in death; either my own or someone else’s. The third is a matter of principle.

I refuse to get a job. I don’t need the money, and I don’t want to spend my holiday slaving away just for the sake of it.

Now, you’ve probably jumped to the conclusion that I’m a spoilt little rich kid living off handouts from Mummy and Daddy, but I assure you that’s not the case. I’m a normal

You Go Off Arting About in the Streets!

Leon Osborne Comment Contributor ART CAN get pretty outrageous these days. A bed you’ve not washed and covered in condoms can constitute art and so can a greenhouse full of flies. Many people debate over whether installations such as that are art but they are displayed in art galleries so it would seem they have already been judged worthy.

But what about graffiti, street art? Images and messages conveyed through the means of applying paint to a surface. That sounds a lot like art, certainly more like art than an animal that has been cut in half and preserved.

The law states it is a crime; it is vandalism of property that does not belong to you. In the defence of street art, there are a lot of

boring looking buildings out there and street art serves to make the world look a better place.

The world could do with a bit of brightening up in a lot of places.

Sure there are plenty of billboards, posters, buses and trains plastered in adverts trying to brighten up your day and force you to buy things you could easily do without, but they lack that independent look that street art pulls off so easily.

But of course the law is the law and if you’re caught putting up art in the public domain for everyone to enjoy then you could face criminal charges. Part of the art of graffiti is not getting caught, as Andy Warhol famously said “Art is whatever you can get away with.”

DOUBLE TROUBLE: impact goes urban. Which logo do you prefer?

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Arts

Freshers’ Week ChAOS Freshers’ Concert Sunday September 28, 7.30pm ICIA Arts Theatre Free admission

Sat 27 Sept 12 - 7pm

Fresh Start for Art on campus increase dramatically.

My role is to represent the views of everyone involved in the arts at Bath and make sure we have a voice within the SU and the wider University. I work closely with the rest of the Arts Executive and with the ICIA team to ensure that the arts provision at Bath is as good as it can be.

So if you want to get involved in one of the most exciting areas of the Union, the place to start is this Saturday’s Arts Afternoon, which provides you with the ideal opportunity to have a go at many of the activities on offer and see which is for you. All of our arts societies are completely student run and committee members will be at every taster session to answer your questions. The timetable on the right shows when and where societies are running taster sessions, so check now to see what there is

for you!

If you decide to join a society, this can be done online at www. bathstudent.com/societies, where you will also find more information about the societies and their activities.

Another brilliant opportunity to find out more about what is on offer is the Societies Fair, which takes place on Tuesday September 30 from 4-7pm in the Sports Hall. Once again, all the societies will be present and will be more than happy to chat to you about how you can get involved.

For more information, log onto the Arts pages at www.bathstudent. com or pop into the Societies Office in the Students’ Union. Before that, I look forward to seeing you all on Saturday. Events kick off at 12pm.

See you there!

Paul Rochester Arts Officer

Time ICIA Arts �eatre I2.00 Student I2.I5 �eatre Society workshop I2.30 I2.45 1.00 Belly Dancing 1.15 1.30 Latin & 1.45 Ballroom 2.00 2.15 Student 2.30 Musicals Society workshop 2.45 3.00 3.15 Flamenco ´ 3.30 3.45 4.00 DJ Skills ´ 4.15 4.30 4.45 Dance Society workshop 5.00 5.15 5.30 5.45 Salsa Society 6.00 6.15 Breakdancing 6.30 Society 6.45

Arts Studios 1&2

Arts Arts Theatre Quad Sports Village

Studio 2

Arts Quad

Orchestra

Gospel Choir

P

6East

free Studio 1

East car park

Bus Stop

Painting ´

Choir

Photography (bring a camera to join in)

Student �eatre Society Performance: �e Importance of Being Earnest

Concert Band Ceramics ´

Circus Skills

Big Band ´

Male barbershop choir Pop Choir ´ Chamber Choir

FH

Capoeira

´Taster sessions of ICIA classes/

workshops, the other sessions are run by Students’ Union societies.

Note: timetable has been updated since the Freshers’ Week Handbook

Backstage Technical Services workshops in Founders Sports Hall

Arts Day

Founders Sports Hall

Society Sign-up & Arts Info Desk (ICIA/SU)

THE FIRST student performance of the year takes place this Sunday, September 28, when ChAOS present a selection of music, all rehearsed in one weekend., including Les Miserables, James Bond, Elgar’s Pomp and Circumstance, The Barber of Seville and Handel’s Messiah.

ChAOS is made up of the University Philharmonic Orchestra, Concert Band, Alley Barbers, GASP and Wind Band. Anyone can join ChAOS regardless of experience or ability and being a member offers plenty of opportunities to perform throughout the year. Many of the conductors are experienced professionals who can offer plenty of help and advice to help you get the most out of your

GETTING TO THE ART OF THE MATTER: A selection of the ICIA’s previous events. Clockwise from top: Gob Squad’s Kitchen, Carol Brown Dances, Joanna MacGregor, I am the Mighty Jungulator, and Lines of Enquirery

DO NOT be fooled. Despite Bath’s reputation as a science university, we know how to do the arts. Bath Students’ Union has over 20 arts societies offering you the chance to carry on something you have done before or have a go at something new and there really is something for everybody. With everything from music to theatre, dance to circus skills, knitting to visual arts, there is a society offering you the chance to make some fantastic new friends and learn new skills, whilst doing something you enjoy.

As Students’ Union Arts Officer, I’d like to take the opportunity to welcome all new and returning students back to Bath for what I am sure will be another sensational year for the arts. The last few years has seen not only the level of arts activity at Bath increase, but also the presence and awareness of arts

involvement in the society. As with all societies, ChAOS is run by students for students and there are always plenty of opportunities to get involved with the organisation of events as well as the performances themselves.

Sunday’s performance takes place at 7:30pm in the ICIA Arts Theatre, here on campus. Admission is completely free, so why not take this opportunity to see what is on offer at Bath!

Barbeque (refreshments on sale)

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MONDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER 2009

28 September -18 October Mon.5th October Downtown @ PoNaNa Launch Party 10pm - 2am Neon Rave Tues. 6th October Glamourpuss 9:30pm - 2am Elements Wed 7th October Score 9:30pm - 2am Fri. 9th October flirt! Back to Skool 9:30pm - 3am Flirt! gets naughty Sat. 10th October Comeplay 9:30pm - 2am Sun 11th October Pub Quiz 7:30pm - 10:30pm Mon 12th October Downtown @ PoNaNa 10pm - 2am Wed 14th October Score 9:30pm - 2am Fri 16th October flirt! Pink Party 9:30pm - 3am Sat 17th October Comeplay 9:30pm - 2am

live Sports

www.BathStudent.com/entertainments

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Mon. 28th September Man. City Vs West Ham (Premier League) 8pm Tues. 29th September Fiorentina Vs Liverpool (Champions League) 7:45pm Wed. 30th September Man. United Vs Wolfsburg (Champions League) 7:45pm Mon.3rd October Man. United Vs Sunderland (Premier League) 5:30pm Sunday 4th October Arsenal Vs Blackburn (Premier League) 2pm Chelsea Vs Liverpool (Premier League) 4pm Mon.5th October Aston Villa Vs Man. City 8pm (Premier League) Sat.10th October Ukraine Vs England Kick-off TBC (World Cup Qualifier) Wed. 14th October England Vs Belarus Kick-off TBC (World Cup Qualifier) Sat. 17th October Aston Villa Vs Chelsea (Premier League) 12:45 Sun. 18th October Blackburn Vs Burnley (Premier League) 1pm Bath Vs Stade Francais Paris (Heineken Cup) 3pm Wigan Vs Man. City (Premier League) 4:30pm

University of Bath Students’ Union

MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008

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Bath for Beginners

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Features

Foreign Correspondence

Just arrived? Struggling to remember exactly where Bath is in England, let alone remember how to navigate your way back to Sainsbury’s? Laura Scantlebury writes a brief guide to some of the basics of Bath life.

YOU’VE ARRIVED in Bath, unloaded your belongings from the car and now find yourself standing in a room of distinctly modest proportions, surrounded by all of your worldly junk plus a year’s supply of vitamin tablets that will only ever serve as a reminder of how little confidence your mum has in your cooking abilities.

If all that leaves you feeling a little claustrophobic, perhaps it is time to hop onto one of those bendy buses and venture into the city centre to discover what Bath has to offer.

Shopping If you come from a large city, Bath is probably going to be a bit of a letdown in terms of clothes shops. The shopping mall is still not much more than a pile of rubble and Bath is far too upmarket for Primark and its kind, so be prepared for many instances of hurried backtracking from shops that are outside the student budget.

However – as will soon become clear – a large percentage of residents from the South West descend on Bath for their Christmas Shopping. The attraction?

A profusion of unique, independent shops that provide gifts which range from individual to downright bizarre.

Culture and Heritage Any self-respecting bookworm (particularly of the female variety) will associate Bath with one name: Jane Austen. Fans of the author can indulge in Regency life to their heart’s content thanks to the Jane Austen Centre and the Fashion Museum, whilst the Pump Rooms and Assembly Rooms allow a glimpse of early 19th Century glamour. Not to be neglected are the Roman Baths themselves (spot the University of Bath logo), where there is the opportunity to sample a free glass of Bath spa water, a drink traditionally served lukewarm and egg-flavoured.

Wining….

Or vodkaing, or beering, or ginning or whatever the chosen beverage, you will find that Bath has a fairly good mix

of chains, including Wetherspoons and Revolution, traditional English locals – try the Boater, a pub just off Pultney Bridge with a riverside beer garden – and more chic establishments such as Central Bar. Caffeine addicts will find ample opportunity to feed their addiction as the European café culture is well-established in Bath. The Riverside Café, accessed by stairs next to the carpet shop on Pultney Bridge, overlooks the Avon and is excellent if you prefer coffee with a view. …and Dining For such a small city, Bath has a fantastic selection of restaurants that represent nearly every continent of the world. For a special occasion (or somewhere to take the parents and their credit card), the Hole in the Wall has a good lunchtime set menu but won’t make too huge a dent in the finances. Equally, the Nepalese restaurant Yak Yeti Yak offers a wide choice for vegetarians and is great if you like something a bit different. Make yourself comfortable on a cushion, then think tapas – only Asian-style and served on a golden platter.

Nightlife Bath and its residents like to see themselves as genteel creatures so large, noisy clubs are out of the question.

Clubbers are therefore generally banished underground to places such as the aptly named “Moles”, a popular venue for live music and Tuesday night cheese. One club that boldly shows

its face above-ground is Delfter Krug, which has a good Indie-Rock night if all of the Cheese and Dance gets a bit much. Alternatively, head to Bristol for more variety.

Outdoors Apparently the best things in life are free, and this is certainly true in Bath. There is no better way to spend an afternoon than lazing on the grass in Royal Victoria Park, just below the Royal Crescent. The park is also equipped with mini-golf and a play area complete with a double zip wire. Children love it. A simple wander around the town can provide endless amusement since even the buskers are upmarket. Buy some fudge from the San Francisco Fudge Factory and settle to eat it on a bench in the Abbey Courtyard. Musicians of a near professional standard and people on unicycles juggling fire will provide the entertainment. Finally, if you fancy a day out with a difference, why not splash out and go punting down the Avon?

Sport In all honesty, if sport is your main interest you need look no further than the University Campus. Make the most of first-class sports facilities on your doorstep while you can – your enthusiasm for gym and pool sessions may well dwindle once you are in second year and have to trek across town to get there.

Josie Cox is the former Features Editor of impact. She is currently on placement in Berlin.

Sian Lewis is the former Deputy Features Editor. She is currently on pacement in Rome.

“BEING A vegetarian in Berlin is like trying to squeeze water out of a stone,” my sister’s friend told me as we drove from the airport to her decrepit apartment on the outskirts of the Tiergarten. I giggled politely, swallowing my fear and internally flinching at the thought of a Bratwurst for dinner.

But later on, while gnawing on my corn-on-the-cob and strolling through the stands of what I learned was a spontaneous street festival, I started to tell myself that Berlin wasn’t actually Afghanistan.

My spirits dampened again when I was in the taxi the next morning.

Handing the driver the address of what was to be my new abode, I learned that I wasn’t actually living in supposedlystudent-friendly Friedrichshain, but in “skin-head-populated Lichtenberg” (words of an acquaintance of mine), just by Ostkreuz station. Incidentally, my sister’s words “As long as you stay away from Ostkreuz” resonated in my head.

10 days on all is well and I haven’t been stabbed, poisoned by my housemate or fired by my boss just yet.

In fact, I love my job and I’ve learned that when a Berliner walks straight into me and pretends I don’t exist, not to take it personally.

I’ve been lost enough times to know that being lost is usually an illusion, and I have even managed to navigate my way to work on a bike with a flat tire. I’ve fallen in love with the bread and the all-you-can-eat brunch buffets and have successfully opened a bank account. Praise the lord.

The good news is that the rain in Berlin doesn’t seem as wet as the rain in Bath, and apart from that everything is cheaper: a haircut for just over ten Euros for example…though I do admit being confused when the hairdresser (with the forehead piercing) left me sitting there with dripping hair and handed me the hairdryer, telling me to do it myself. Bizarre Berlin.

Right, I better get back to trying to impress my boss by mispronouncing the word ‘misogynous’ (nothing to do with miso soup by the way) and having the article (which I have slaved over for two hours) shredded to pieces by other journalists in the office. End of week one.

And what have I learned this fortnight? That you’ve got to start somewhere…

SO I am now officially, after spending what felt like all my youth queuing up for a social security number, a Roman citizen. I am now medically covered, which means I can worry slightly less about being run over by the city’s truly deranged traffic (the trick is to just cross like you mean it, ignore the lights as the drivers take red and green to be purely optional indications).

After a week of intense flat-hunting by day and hanging out with backpackers in a hostel at night, I have found a flat which is, by some miracle, clean and spacious and 10 minutes from the Coliseum. I currently live with my friend Jenny from Bath, a Belgian guy and two Spanish boys, so we speak a very strange Italian-Spanish dialect of words that don’t mean anything in either language, which we are hoping will become the new Esperanto.

Possibly not.

Living in a Roman flat, an Erasmus flat at that, is a true cultural experience.

Washing hangs out of our bathroom window (four floors up, so Jenny and I have twice had to go underwear hunting in the courtyard below, which is populated by friendly stray cats), and there is constant noise from the busy Piazza below us, where a shop sells bread shaped to look like the Pantheon and other tourist hotspots, and there are flower stalls open until 2am every morning (for those night-time basil leaf cravings?).

Three nights running our kitchen has been populated by people from pretty much every nation in Europe, speaking a pastiche of five languages all together - as a result I can now say some colourful expletives in Polish, and our neighbours have already started moaning about the foreigners in flat seven.

When it gets late we can go sit on the dusty roof terrace (complete with our new plastic paddling pool), get bitten by mosquitoes and drink twoeuro-a-bottle wine out of espresso cups because they are the only clean receptacles left. When we’re not socialising or in lectures we are out - Rome itself is an overwhelming whirlwind of markets, beautiful buildings and ostentatious churches, rainbows of graffiti, screaming Italians and beeping scooters.

I have a feeling this year is going to be rather insane.

MONDAY 28TH SEPTEMBER 2009

Freshers’ Week 200 Thursday October 1

Monday September 28th

Daytime

Daytime

- Free Big Breakfast in Chaplaincy - Carnival Day on Parade

- Wristband Collection - Vice Chancellor’s Speech - Mature Students Welcome - Postgrad Meet and Greet - Chinese Students Welcome - Red Bus City Sightseeing Tours Evening - Ceilidh - Irish Dancing - Film - P.S. I Love You - Postgrad Mega Quiz - Freshers’ Launch Party

Evening - Film - Hotel Rwanda - Postgrad BBQ - Acoustic Night - Club Night feat. Zane Lowe Tuesday September 29 Daytime - Wristband Collection - Inflatable fun on the Archery Field - Sabb Welcome BBQ - Canal Walk Evening - Film - Ratatouille - International Students Welcome Party - Bierkeller - Postgrad Cocktail Evening - Full Moon Beach Party

Wednesday September 30 Daytime - City tours - Sports Day on the Parade - Postgrad Treasure Hunt City Tour - Departmental Inductions Evening - Postgrad Games Night - Film - Snatch - Silent Disco - Freshers’ Graffiti Party

In a mig cept and Acti Spo

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Freshers’ Week 2009. The traditional curtain-raiser to your university life is an ideal opportunity to kick off your student days in style, and this year’s event promises to be bigger and better than ever. There are a shedload of activities timetabled for every day of the week, the best of which we have compiled into this handy pull-out guide. Don’t forget to look out for MintyFresh every day, where we will feature all the stories, photos, quotes, gossip and randomness from the previous day’s revelry. Happy Freshers’ Week!

Saturday October 3 Daytime

Friday October 2 Daytime - Commercial Fair in the Founders Sports Hall - get freebies!!

- Departmental Inductions - Postgrad Inductions - Vegetarian Society Event

- Trip to the Roman Baths - Arts and Media Day - Postgrad trip to Bradford upon Avon Evening - Film - Gladiator - Toga Party - Get filthy 57 B.C. style

Evening - Global Group Games Night - Postgrad Welcome Party @ Pavilion - Film - Slumdog Millionaire - Poker - Freshers’ Ball - Vegas Night Baby!

addition to these amazing events, there are daily fixtures you ght like to know about - NUS Extra card collection from Retion, volunteering at Bath Cats and Dogs Home and Games d Common Room at 6 West South & The Terrace. Also, the ivities Fair is on Monday 5th October at 4pm-7pm, and the orts Fair is on Tuesday 6th October 4pm-7pm

Sunday October 4 Daytime - Paintballing trip - Ikea Trip - because your housemate might have something you didn’t notie the first time - Guided Tour of the American Museum - Postgrad networking event Evening -Film - The Shawshank Redemption

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MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008

IMPACT

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Entertainment

The Summer That Was...

Ents Co-Editor Hannah Raymont looks back on a of mud, music, madness, and, er, more rain...

AS WE bid a sad farewell to three months of freedom and head off to lectures once more (or for you Freshers, for the first time), we also look back on a great summer, as least as far as entertainments are concerned.

Although not a major player on the big summer festivals stage, I have to say I was fairly impressed with the Isle of Wight Festival. Yes, the glorious southern sunshine and chilled, family friendly vibes certainly helped (no riot vans here, oh no), but there were some quality acts to be enjoyed here too, even if some were disappointing (Kaiser Chiefs, I’m talking to you) and downright appalling (Kate Nash, please stand up). However, just to name a few: The Zutons, New Young Pony Club and closing act Feeder pulled out all the stops and delivered breathtaking performances. Nevertheless, in spite of everything else, it was worth the shiny hologram wristband price alone to see an enraged Johnny Rotten bouncing around the stage ranting about the state of “our England,” in particular to our contemporary music industry, where skinny jean-clad male guitar bands dominate (oh, don’t we all know it…). An impassioned patriotic spiel ensued, leaving most of the sober crowd completely bemused and looking more than a little uncomfortable with Rotten’s unabashed, if perhaps a little

drunken, confrontation of modern society.

Passionate political outbursts on festival stages would lead me nicely onto Rage Against The Machine’s performances at T In The Park and The Carling Festival at Reading and Leeds, but for now I’m going to move into territory far more familiar to us, Somerset – which can only mean one thing – Glastonbury!

Despite the overblown controversy over the decision to elect Jay-Z as the official headliner, it seemed he finally stuck it to the Gallagher brothers and delivered a highlight polished, professional performance, which of course is much more than could have been said for a certain Ms Winehouse.

Although she apparently attracted some of the festival’s biggest crowds, Amy’s shaky set only ended in disaster – with her famously well documented fisticuffs with the audience. Firm festival favourites Kings Of Leon and Franz Ferdinand impressed, while Massive Attack heightened the euphoric atmosphere with a sensational performance of Unfinished Sympathy, the true pinnacle of the entire set.

Moving on into August, it was finally time for Glastonbury’s mosh-pit crazy cousin, The Carling Festival, to rawk its way into Reading and Leeds.

With arguably one of the best ever line-ups for years, people had high

expectations, though no-one could have expected what Rage Against The Machine, reunited 8 years after going their separate ways, were going to pull out of the bag, least of all their own heads. Though they did not want their live performances broadcast, the multitude of amateur mobile phone recordings on YouTube are testament to the impact that RATM had on the crowd. Opening the set donned in Guantanamo Bay-style jumpsuits and their heads covered with small black sacks, the band blasted through a phenomenal, fiercely politicallyinfused performance, shining on stand-out tracks ‘Bombtrack’, ‘Killing In The Name Of’ and ‘Wake Up’. They have since been slammed by New York band We Are Scientists for their overt political focus, as vocalist Zack de la Rocha claimed that Tony Blair and George Bush should be tried for war crimes. Rage Against The Machine causing a media stir? The hard rock quartet really are back.

Finally, I feel I have to make an apology; I know that there are so many other music festivals I missed out in here, but there is only so much paper in this student…er…paper. So, for all of you who went to Bestival, Download, V or any of the various ‘minor’ festivals, or otherwise bummed around at home, I hoped you enjoyed your summer and are thoroughly rested, as I reckon

Single: Black Kids Look At Me (When I Rock Wichoo) summer Out Now Almost Gold Recordings

2008/9 is going to be an exceptional year for Ents. Welcome back! ents@bathimpact.com

ENTS Needs You! Yes you.

Anyone and everyone is more than welcome to pop along to the weekly meetings Monday night, and Hannah and I will be more than happy to help you out with anything and everything…as long as it has a vague resemblance to something Ents ie. we don’t particularly want to hear about how you were born with webbed feet, three legs, six eyes, have a penchant for ravishing doughnuts and some kind of strange inclination bordering on obsession with the colour mauve; as intriguing as all that would be.

What we do want to hear about is how you want to write an article about some summer festival that you attended, or some book you read, or some band you saw and so on and so forth. If you’re feeling eager, then feel free to send along any questions/ articles to the email address above, and you never know, you may very well soon find out that you’re a writer of the published variety and might even get some free gig tickets and CD’s to boot!

Ben Cohen Ents Co-Editor

After the Black Kids much anticipated debut, ‘Partie Traumatic,’ entered the UK charts at #5, the band was one of very few at the time to actually live up to its hype.

It is fair to say that ‘Partie Traumatic’ is already an early favourite for a top 10 spot in best albums of 2008. ‘Look At Me’ also happens to be the closing song on this very album, and is the follow-up single to ‘Hurricane Jane,’ which has already had its fair share of radio and dance floor airtime.

‘Look At Me’ is, in essence, just a reflection of what the Black Kids are all about. With their lo-fi Italian disco influenced synth’s, a hi-hat bouncing all over the shop, fresh sounding lyrics and gleeful childlike backing vocals, this really is just another example of the Black Kids living up to the hype… again.

8/10 Ben Cohen Ents Co-Editor

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MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008

Entertainment

Spreading the Love at Lovebox

Emil Edmar, our roaming Swedish reporter, battles jet-lag, festival crowds and Zorba balls rolling on his face, all in the name of seeing some jolly good bands...tough life.

IT’S FAIR to say that the first thing one does when they step off a plane following a holiday in America probably shouldn’t be heading to a festival. But as rationality has never been my strong suit, the first thing I did when I got off my plane was head to Victoria Park for the second day of the Groove Armadacurated Lovebox Weekender. While it was the must-see headlining jaunt of The Flaming Lips who brought out this irrationality, there were indeed some other great bands to help me stay awake until their appearance.

Away from the main stage one could find the laidback atmosphere for which the festival has become famous. Even the bands themselves were sighted taking advantage of this: wandering around the festival grounds to watch the skateboarders, smoothie boxers (don’t ask, I don’t know) and plenty of other obscure performances. On the Fringe stage, one such performance, entitled “Record Graveyard” involved a strange man sending LPs to album heaven or album hell based on the audience’s feedback. Needless to say,

Single: Does It Offend You, Yeah?

Epic Last Song Out Now Virgin Records ‘Epic Last Song’ is the latest single from Does It Offend You, Yeah?’s debut album, ‘You Have No Idea What Your Getting Yourself Into’. An interesting little factoid though is that the title of the album came, just like the band’s name, from a quote the band happened to see on TV, and in this case from one of the more memorable quotes from Robin Williams in Jumanji.

The song itself though, lyrically is just as meaningless as an overheard film, but it is damn catchy, and I guess that’s what counts most of the time.

Does It Offend You, Yeah? being a band that I put in the not listened to very much box for being awfully synth heavy and annoyingly absurd, this song was pleasant surprise. It reminded me of first listening to a mix between Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party (in their ‘Silent Alarm’ days before they started remixing/murdering their own songs before they even released them, but I digress). ‘ ‘Epic Last Song’ is a possible look at where the band may be heading. There are jerky-ish guitars throughout, disco laden drums, and just enough of a hint of synth to be respectable.

It certainly isn’t a song that possesses great wads of originality, but it certainly is a pretty good answer to many of their haters.

6/10

Ben Cohen Ents Co-Editor

albums by bands such as Coldplay were sent to album hell and smashed to pieces in the process. He then yelled, threw rice at children and said “Viacom” several times. So it was basically like an episode of Pop Idol.

Music also graced this small stage, with France’s Soko being one of the more popular performances of the day. This tiny thing is probably the cutest performer you will ever see. So, basically, she is Amelie with a guitar.

Although I guess it’s hard not to be cute and embarrassed when you’re singing songs about wet dreams and

murder to a group of people you can actually see. As she noted: “I am used to playing in front of people in a small, dark room... you are very intimidating to play to!”

Earlier in the day, bands who were no doubt NME darlings graced the Clash stage, which being housed in a small tent was definitely one of the harder places to get a good vantage point. Dead Kids and The Metros, both exceptional performers who I have been listening to since this encounter, caused the crowd into a suffocating frenzy. As such, I opted

to sit on the grass outside the tent for much of the sets, possibly falling asleep several times.

And thankfully I did, because it gave me just enough energy to destroy several more beers and make my way over to the main stage for the festival’s closing performers: Goldfrapp and The Flaming Lips. First, let it be known that I love Alison Goldfrapp – her first albums remain some of the best dance LPs around, and her surprisingly Feist-esque new album ‘Seventh Tree’ is easily one of the best albums of the last year. While I was unsure how she would transfer this new material into a festival setting, she indeed blew all the critics away with a spellbinding performance. Or maybe it was spellbinding because there were wolf strippers on stage for much of the set and furry things jumping around during “Happiness.” Either way, it was a very impressive set, and the crowd was very much into everything, her music and the strippers had to offer.

Finally, as the sun began to descend, The Flaming Lips ascended to their

Album: Everything Is Borrowed The Streets Out Now sixsevenine MIKE SKINNER has always been a rather literal kind of bloke, to the extent that many find his music a tad disconcerting. Of all things, Mr. Skinner, more commonly known by his stage name The Streets, certainly can’t be accused of muddying the lyrical waters.

If he wants to sing about the kind of advice one gets after a break-up, the song is titled “Dry Your Eyes”; a song about a good-looking girl who thinks she’s all that, is naturally titled “Fit But You Know It,” and so on and so forth. So no one can deny that he does his very best to say it like it is, and this is both his best attribute and his occasional flaw all wrapped up into one.

On ‘Everything Is Borrowed’, The Streets fourth LP, things appear to be much the same. From the mere title of the album itself, one gets the hint that the crux of the album’s flow will evolve around a world-weary Skinner telling the listener exactly why he is weary of the world. On this evidence alone, I became a little hesitant about how potentially depressing an album this could possibly be.

With the economic crisis going on and the state of the world as a whole, it really would be like one big album form of saying ‘I told you so, suckers.’

So it was with that sort of trepidation that I first placed the CD into the player. Looking down to see that the title track was up first, I braced myself for misery, yet what came out was a very surprising amount of optimism.

The chorus speaks for itself, “I came into this world with nothing, and I leave with nothing but love,

throne, with Wayne Coyne coming into the crowd, surfing over us in a giant zorba-like bubble. Having Wayne Coyne zorba over your face is a pretty incredible way to wake up, let me tell you. The set list that followed, accompanied by inflatable robots, iron men, pink women things, a barrage of balloons and the most amount of confetti and streamers you’ve ever seen can only be described in one word: happiness. Traversing over much of their back catalogue, the Lips went through a greatest hits set, from the latest “W.A.N.D.” all the way back to “She Don’t Use Jelly.” And when “The Yeah Yeah Yeah song” went on for well over ten minutes, one could only describe the experience as epic.

Yes, the Flaming Lips came and went, but they conquered along the way, and delivered some of the most fun my sleep-deprived brain has ever experienced. Indeed much of the festival provided this, but perhaps next year I won’t travel halfway across the globe to make it in time.

Live Preview: Foals @Carling Academy, Bristol 13/10/08

MIKE SKINNER: Everything Is Borrowed indeed...like this photo. everything else is just borrowed.”

True, it is hideously cliché, but sometimes clichés work if they are placed in the right context. Skinner is essentially saying, where there is ying there is yang. A well trodden road for a song, but done with a twist.

What is even more surprising about ‘Everything is Borrowed’ is the expansive landscape of musical and lyrical subjects that The Streets traverse through. On the album’s closer, “The Escapist,” Skinner self-reflexively laments on “little, fleeting, momentary me.” It is a painstaking insight into Skinner’s mind countered by swift, serene melodies. Yet the breadth of this album stretches well away from the inner thoughts of Skinner, which is what makes this album interesting. If you’re a Streets fan, you might just find yourself singing along to songs about evolution (“The Way of The Dodo”), religion (“Alleged Legends”) and biological destiny (“On the Edge of a Cliff”).

Ironically, this is the kind of music to hold Britain’s hand through the credit crunch, it is uplifting,

yet honest. At times the album does pang on the heartstrings a bit too forcibly, but the sing-along pop hooks and hip-hop sensibility are still there to please. If you weren’t a fan of The Streets before this album, you may be happy with the musical direction, as there is clearly some painstaking production done on the record, but somewhat due to this the original alluring garage feel that The Streets had in ‘Original Pirate Material’ has faded as well.

What hasn’t changed though, is Skinner’s trademark stop start, accent ridden vocals. Either way, it is still good to see The Streets attempting to achieve something new; you can’t expect a creative band to be satisfied with just one sound, and on this showing the creative juices certainly are flowing.

7/10 Ben Cohen

Ents Co-Editor

Oxford indie band Foals bring their unique angular, dancy, intelligently unconventional sound back to Bristol. Moving up in the world following their debut album ‘Antidotes’, Foals have had a busy summer, making festival appearances all over Europe. Notably, lead singer Yannis was arrested backstage at a festival in Spain after getting into a scuffle with Johnny Rotton’s entourage, when all he was trying to do was stick up for the lead singer of Bloc Party, Kele Okerake, who was being racially taunted by members of Johnny Rotten’s entourage. Isn’t that sweet…anyway, in short, if you like fun, get tickets, they’re going fast!

Live Preview: CSS @Thekla, Bristol 14/10/08

Merely one night after Foals, Bristol is graced once again with quality live material, this time all the way from Brazil in the form of Cansai de Ser Sexy. With enigmatic lead singer Lovefoxx, the partner of Simon Klaxon, and dancefloor bangers like “Music Is My Hot Hot Sex”, “Alala” and “Let’s Make Love and listen to Death From Above”, CSS are virtually guaranteed to be rocking the boat that is Thekla Social.

Live Preview: Lykke Li @Thekla, Bristol 07/10/08

With production from Bjorn Yttling of Peter Bjorn and John fame, as well as the voice and cuteness to lull a Grizzly Bear into admiration, it is no real surprise that Lykke Li’s fame is growing with each and every day.

Plenty of catchy tunes and stage presence to be expected here.

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Science and Technology

Whatever happened to the flying spaghetti monster? Your Skull: Chris Bowdon Science Editor science@bathimpact.com IN 2005 the Kansas State Board of Education approved a science curriculum that would give equal weight to the teaching of Intelligent Design and Evolution. In response, Bobby Henderson sent an open letter to the board arguing that “If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.”

His theory was creation by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, believers in whom were known as Pastafarians.

The letter was more successful than Henderson could have imagined. It became an internet phenomenon and attracted international media attention. In 2007 the Kansas State Board of Education cancelled their plans to teach Intelligent Design.

Later that year Polk County in Florida rejected similar plans, saying that Pastafarians’ efforts “made us the laughing stock of the world.”

Since then, the FSM rarely appears

USING HIS NOODLE: Have you been touched by His Noodley Appendage? in mainstream media but is still going strong. Bobby Henderson maintains his straight face, refusing to admit outright that the religion is a joke.

(He objects to the terms, “pseudoreligion,” “parody” and “spoof.”)

In fact, he continuous to push for recognition as an official religion and the tax breaks that follow.

Pastafarians now have a Gospel, containing the Eight “I’d Rather You Didn’ts”, and officially celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19). There have been parades featuring effigies of the FSM, dancing pirates and girls

Google Chrome Takes Us into the Cloud Chris Bowdon Science Editor science@bathimpact.com THE COMPUTER has gone through a variety of stages since its conception, as Douglas Adams once noted. First it was a calculator, then a typewriter, then a modelling device. Then it was to become an entertainment centre; Bill Gates had visions of the computer taking the television’s place in the living room. Instead however, the computer is becoming more and more just a portal to the Internet.

This is the future that Google really looks forward to. The Cloud, or Cloud computing, refers to using Internet-based software instead of software installed on your computer, the software is just free and runs in your browser, so it doesn’t have to be installed, although you can’t use it offline and you may have to log in. It would be free for anyone to use, and thus wouldn’t suffer from piracy or licensing issues. The company that provides the software would make money from advertising, rather than selling discs, something Google loves because this making money from Internet advertising is exactly where it’s dominant, in the same way that Microsoft is dominant in selling operating systems and office software.

Chrome is Google’s new open source browser. A comic strip released by the company explains that it has a sort of multi-threading which will prevent JavaScript causing the whole browser to hang and it has a system of locking down pages to make it more secure than competitors. More importantly for Google though, it increases the

potential for web-based applications by supporting more advanced code.

The hope is that this can shift the balance between Cloud computing and conventional software like Microsoft Office. As it stands, installed software is still far more popular than web-based software, partly because not so many people are aware of the possibilities of internet-based software. I’m using Google Docs for the first time to write this article, and so far I’m impressed. It’s surprising how much more quickly it loads while still offering a range of options.

Similarly, the Microsoft Internet Explorer browser is so dominant largely because it comes bundled with Windows. One of the main concerns about Google Chrome is that the people most likely to adopt it are those who have already switched to Firefox, meaning it will undermine the 20% market share of Microsoft’s largest competitor. Making Chrome open source mollifies these worries a little, because Mozilla developers can then copy code to improve Firefox.

However, many of Chrome’s shiniest features came from building the browser from scratch, so Firefox will need a lot of work to match that.

The challenge is really for Google to expand into Microsoft’s territory by raising awareness. Most people aren’t aware of what a browser is and that they can download alternatives.

IT administrators in universities, schools, governments and businesses spend millions on Microsoft software because it’s what users are familiar with.

There’s still a long way to go for Google and Cloud computing.

Chrome is available for download at google.com/chrome

wearing only chocolate body paint, and a statue of the FSM stands outside a courthouse in Tennessee. The next stop is the purchase of a pirate ship, for the purposes of sailing the world and converting non-believers. $100,000 has been raised to this end so far. A quick survey using Facebook statistics reveals that Pastafarians at Bath outnumber all but Christians, atheists and Muslims. The survey was hindered by the number of (presumably) atheists who recorded their religion as ‘my penis’.

And what became of Intelligent Design? In some cases Intelligent

Design has resumed trading under its former name, Creationism. This year an Intelligent Design documentary movie was released (Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed) which alleged that the theory of evolution contributed towards the Holocaust, Communism, atheism and legal abortions. It was widely disdained.

And evolution? The evidence continues to rack up. The latest interesting story on the evolution scene is that dinosaurs did not evolve any faster than crurotarsans, the ancestors of modern crocodiles.

Scientists from Columbia University in New York and the University of Bristol studied a magnitude of different characteristics in the fossils of 64 different species and found that both dinosaurs and crurotarsans were diverse and well-adapted.

This runs contrary to the popular idea that dinosaurs became the dominant species because they adapted faster and better than their competitors.

Instead it seems like dinosaurs became the dominant species by sheer chance, surviving a spike in global warming in the Triassic period.

We can only guess at why His Noodliness chose to do this.

Moobs and Other Thoughts on Beauty Lisa Wu Science Contributor A SMOOTH-SKINNED chest, sporting moderately sized but softly curved breasts. Attractive? What if they belonged to a man? These thoughts plagued me as I sat at a tube station yesterday staring at a giant poster of this precise image, sponsored by Virgin Active and blazoned with the philosophical and thought-provoking words “MOOBS? Leave the cleavage to the ladies.” I’ll be frank, I wouldn’t be ashamed of a chest like the one I was gawping at, and I’m pretty sure the old lady tutting disapprovingly at it was secretly wishing hers were half as perky.

Questions rushed through me.

Was a rounded set of 34DDs only hot if they sat under a female face?

I’ve been assured that the answer to the question is a firm, and extremely horrified, “NO!” … but why? I’ve seen blokes stare longingly at girls’ chests with brief regard for her face. In a purely physical sense, surely the joy to be derived from staring at a fantastic pair of bangers is not significantly affected by the actual DNA makeup of one teeny pair of chromosomes hidden deep within those skin cells?

Perplexed by such deep, soul searching issues, I was led to further investigate exactly what we find attractive and why. Studies show that people commonly judged to be beautiful also tend to be considered friendlier, more intelligent, more interesting and more socially competent. Sadly, the scientific literature on the relative attractive quality of large breasts on men was scarce, but I did make some other

intriguing discoveries.

Despite the old saying that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” coined in 1878 by novelist Margaret Hungerford, scientists and artists alike have been trying to define and quantify beauty for a very long time. Greek artists tirelessly followed the guiding hand of the Golden Section, a “divine proportion,” which proclaimed the most beautiful ratio between the lengths of two lines to be 0.6180. So is the secret of beauty down to maths? It been presumed for a long time now that symmetry equals beauty. This assumption was challenged by two studies comparing normal, asymmetrical faces to faked, perfectly symmetrical ones. Testers of both studies deemed the normal, asymmetrical faces more attractive.

The authors concluded that while symmetry has a positive influence on attractiveness, other factors, such as averageness, are much more important and that symmetry is only a particular kind of averageness.. They also added the breakthrough hypothesis that a highly asymmetrical face was likely to reduce the perceived attractiveness of the subject.

Tastes vary between the sexes.

A particularly attractive female face was described as one that was “innocently child-like, appealing to protective instincts, but at the same time mature, showing dominance, as well as expressive.” On the other hand, women’s tastes will vary depending on their menstrual cycle or environment.

In conclusion, the boys want childlike dominatrices whilst the girls can’t decide what they want. Subject to fashion fluctuation and age difference.

It’s tough.

Population 2 Chris Bowdon Science Editor science@bathimpact.com

ONE’S YOUR brain, the other is a behaviour-altering parasite.

Something between a 30% and 65% of the world’s population are infected with Toxoplasma gondii.

Most people caught it from the primary host, cats, although it can infect most warm-blooded mammals. You might already have it, lurking quietly in your brain.

Happily, there is usually nothing to fear. Typically it will cause a mild flu-like illness or not even that.

Those at risk are those with weak immune systems, such as foetuses and the HIV positive.

However, research by Dr Nicky Boulter of the Sydney University of Technology implies that just carrying Toxoplasma also alter human behaviour in a variety of ways.

The study on mice suggests that infected males have reduced attention span and increased risktaking tendencies, while women will become more outgoing, friendly and promiscuous. The theory is that if male mice risk being eaten by cats more often, then the Toxoplasma is more likely to continue its life cycle in the cat’s gut.

Another study has shown infected people are 2.7 times more likely to be involved in a car accident. This could be due to the increased risk-taking, or because the infection has slowed their reactions (toxoplasmosis can be located in neural or muscular tissues and cause prolonged reaction times of the muscles). Other research has found correlations between Toxoplasma infections and higher incidences of schizophrenia, greater rule-breaking and jealousy in men and more ‘warmth’ in women.

It may even be that Toxoplasma has already shaped the way we live.

USGS scientist Kevin Lafferty has said, “In populations where this parasite is very common, mass personality modification could result in cultural change.”

There is also evidence that Toxoplasma increases the probability of male births, in some cases raising it to 72%. However, this doesn’t seem to match the statistics; in France, an estimated 88% of the population carry the parasite but female births outnumber male (the UK carrier proportion is around 22%).

So what to do about it? Antibiotics are available, but apart from those at more serious risk (such as pregnant women), maybe they shouldn’t be used. What if removing the parasite really does change your personality?

Would anyone be sure they wanted to do that?

Perhaps Toxoplasma gondii is an irreversible part of humanity now, for better or for worse.

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MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008

Science and Technology

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MONDAY 22ND SEPTEMBER 2008

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Sport

Beijing 2008: The Greatest Olympics Ever Known

Tim Leigh Sports Editor sport@bath.ac.uk FIRST THINGS first, I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate the Great British Paralympics t e am, w ho h ave returned home after finishing second in the medals table to China, earning 42 gold medals and 102 medals overall. This was the most successful Paralympics team for two decades, and coming hard on the heels of the most successful Olympics team for 100 years, who finished fourth overall, this is truly an achievement that both teams should remember and be remembered for.

Every person will have their own favourite moments from

Beijing 2008, whether it was Usain Bolt proving you do not have to run in the most biomechanically or aerodynamically efficient way for the last 15 metres to win the 100 metres sprint; Rebecca Adlington breaking the longest-held swimming world record, set in the year in which she was born, to claim her second gold medal; David Weir, despite coming down with a virus at the beginning of the Paralympics, storming down the home straight to win his second gold in the blue ribboned event of men’s wheelchair racing, the T 54 1500m.

I could continue ad nauseam, but the point I am trying to make is that if medals are the mark of a successful games, then Beijing 2008 more than made up for the dark days of Atlanta 1996. If you are British and

struggling to remember that, you have good reason: Team GB managed just one gold medal at the Olympics. For reference purposes, that was good enough for 36th in the medal table, behind Ethiopia and Algeria, countries whose population and sports funding was slightly less than ours, to indulge in the drollest understatement. To people brought up on the relative medal riches of Athens ‘04 and especially Beijing ’08, this may seem unbelievable and may give some insight into why most of the British nation went so spectacularly insane throughout the month of August.

Whatever else one may want to say about the Chinese

Usain Bolt: The Shape of Things to Come?

Chris Bowdon Science Editor science@bathimpact.com

USAIN BOLT stands out. After all, how many sprinters have ever been so far ahead of their field that they can beat their chest in triumph before even crossing the line? Even less have held two world records in different events, and taken three track and field world records at the same Olympics. Not to mention his catchy, pun-friendly name.

But more than that, Bolt stands out because he’s not the normal kind of sprinter. Usually, sprinters are of just-above-average height, around the 6 foot mark, and muscular. Compare this to Bolt; he’s 6 ft 5 inches tall and lithe. The fact that he can dominate other

Sports Editorial

HELLO EVERYBODY, and welcome to a brand spanking new year at this wonderful and not-so-ancient institution. The job of writing a sports editorial for this, the first edition of Impact this year, is made much easier by the fact that we have had a wonderful summer of sport, whether we are considering the Olympics and Paralympics, the US Open and Wimbledon, the start of the football and rugby, or any of the other wonderful sporting events of the summer.

Let’s start with the tennis, and what more does one need to say about what was, to my mind, the greatest final ever played. I have watched footage of Borg v McEnroe, the other main contender, but having watched this year’s final from start to finish, I have to say that it was possibly the most gripping piece of sport I have ever seen.

Both contestants were so far above anybody else in the competition that at times you wondered why they didn’t simply save us all a bit of time and skip the intervening rounds.

However, who would have wanted to miss Murray v Gasquet, among other gems, with Murray showing his

sprinters overturns the conventional wisdom, which is that tall guys simply can’t move their legs fast enough.

Taller people are bigger, heavier and therefore harder to shift. It’s the same principle as with cars: lighter means more acceleration.

Indeed, acceleration is not Bolt’s strong point. He isn’t usually the quickest off the blocks. But he doesn’t get left behind, and it’s in the later stages of the race that his height comes to his advantage. His stride, once he hits it, is significantly longer than his competitors’. Bolt finishes the race in 41 strides, whereas the average sprinter will finish in 47. In fact, Bolt could potentially cover the distance in even less strides. His coach, Glen Mills, trained him to shorten his gait. This causes him to be more balanced and spend less time

in the air, making him a much more efficient runner.

The obvious question is, why has no one done this before?

Usually, gangly athletes are expected to take to the high jump, or head to the basketball court. There are plenty of sports where tall players have some kind of advantage. Not to mention that sprinting is not the sport most likely to bring you fame and fortune. Most people could only name the 100 metres world record holder and/or the most recent Olympic gold medallist. In sprinting there’s only room for one at the top. Compare this to how many footballers could be considered as celebrities, and consider their multi-million pound salaries.

oft-mentioned and exceedingly clichéd fighting spirit to come back from two sets down.

The sight of Murray celebrating by showing off his “guns”, was especially comical considering the fact that he got annhilated in the next round by a man with a proper set of guns, even if, as I’ve heard some say “he is a Spanish pikey”. I am of course talking, somewhat ungenerously, about Rafael Nadal, who finally unseated the King Roger Federer, and stopped him winning a sixth straight title, which would have been a feat that hadn’t occurred in the 21st or 20th centuries.

I lost count of how many sports pundits wrote off Federer and rushed to say that Nadal was the new King, and that he was bound to win the US Open.

The punchline being of course, that Andy Murray beat the last remaining member of the much-vaunted top three that he had never beaten, and then got absolutely creamed by Federer, who is now just two Slams away from breaking Pete Sampras’ record of fourteen Grand Slam victories.

The Olympics will forever be remembered in Britain for our tally of foty seven medals, nineteen of them gold, and will be remembered by every other country because of Usain Bolt and his unheard of feat of breaking three

track and field sprint records in the same games.

I suppose it would be churlish of me to fail to mention the record breaking achievement of the distinctly unravishing Michael Phelps, who reminds me of that denizen of the deep seas, the giant squid, and who seemingly swims a fair bit faster. He did win eight gold medals in a single games, beating my personal hero (purely due to his moustache) Mark Spitz’s record. But he is so lacking in the charisma and joie de vivre of Usain Bolt, the dance floor demon, that I can have no regard for him.

Bit harsh, but there you have it. The football pre-season was noticeable for the ongoing torment for both Liverpool and Aston Villa fans of the ongoing “Barrygate” saga, and the hope that the man whom I would pay serious money to see eaten alive by rabid pigs, Cristiano Ronaldo, would finally depart these shores/ planet.

No such luck, of course, about either of those things, but I live in hope. Then, of course, there was the unexpected takeover of Manchester City by people so disgustingly rich that if Roman

Government (and I can think of a few things), there is no denying they can put on one hell of a show. The opening and closing ceremonies, if you ignore the cringe-worthy handover to Britain, were truly awe-inspiring, and almost made up for the image that has haunted my dreams ever since: the ridiculous Mayor of London standing with his hands in his pockets and then waving the flag while looking both inebriated and imbecilic.

The organisation of the games (as might be expected) was impeccable, the stadiums, especially the showpiece Birds Nest Stadium, were outstanding, and the Chinese people threw themselves whole-heartedly into the fun and excitement. This was, let us not

forget, China’s coming out party the big chance for a country that is usually shrouded in secrecy to show the rest of the world what they are all about.

Having been lucky enough to visi China myself, I can personally attes to the friendliness of the people and can also say how spectacular Beijing is as a city (though my heart belongs to Shanghai). For what it is worth (i.e. very little) I believe the Chinese nation did a superb job, and helped to make this games, if not the greates ever (unless you’re British), then certainly extremely memorable, and any exposure to what is truly one o the most remarkable countries in the world has to be beneficial for all concerned, both geo-politically and culturally.

In contrast, the IOC gives no prize money to Olympians such as Bolt (although it’s likely the Jamaican government gave him a little something as a reward).

So it’s easy to understand why taller athletes don’t often take to sprinting. But with Bolt’s triumph, that might change. The Jamaican people are already very proud of their successful sprinters. (Asafa Powell improved his personal best time to 9.72 seconds, +0.3 away from the world record, and is now nipping at Bolt’s heels.), not to mention Don Quarrie, the last man to hold the 100m and 200m world records at the same time. In future there will be more Jamaicans moving from cricket to athletics, and perhaps people in other countries will be inspired to give it a go. Bolt has shown us the way; will we follow?

Abramovich’s personal fortune fell out of their pockets they probably wouldn’t bother to bend down and pick it up.

The Abu Dhabi United Group are expected to complete their takeover from Thaksin “I’m a little bit corrupt” Shinawatra this week, but of more joy to City fans will be the fact that they are currently eight places above archrivals Manchester United.

The rugby season has just kicked off, which means all England fans can be looking forward to forgetting the humiliating defeat they suffered at the hands of the All Blacks, but at least four of the players had some fun off the field, and anybody who has ever been on a rugby tour knows that is what counts. People might hope that professional players might have a different attitude, but hey, boys will be boys.

Lastly, I would like to extend an offer to all you freshers particularly, but also anyone else out there. We, by which I mean me, at the sports section of Impact are always looking for more writers, so anybody who is interested please come along to the first meeting of impact members in 4 east 3.5 on the September 29, or email me at sport@bathimpact.com

Michael Phelps: Or is it a squid?

The Giant Squid: Or is it Michael Phelps? Who Knows?

sport impact

Page 19: Beijing Olympics Special

University of Bath is Brimful of Ashton BRIAN ASHTON, ex-England International Rugby Union coach, has agreed to become the University of Bath’s Director of Coaching. He takes the job on a consultancy basis, and will be working with existing coaches here at the university, particularly in the fields of coach development and education.

For those of you who haven’t heard of Brian, he was England Rugby coach for 18 months, and while at the helm he guided England to a second successive World Cup final, and then to second place in the Six Nations, their highest placed finish in five years.

Prior to this he was England attack coach and National Academy manager, and is widely regarded as one of the best coaches in the business.

These are truly exciting times for the University of Bath, and I would like to take this opportunity to welcome Brian on behalf of everybody involved with the University.

I also have the greatest pleasure in announcing to all those who are unaware that Dave McNulty, who coached Jo Jackson to a bronze medal in the 400m freestyle swimming at the Beijing Olympics, is coming to the University as head of the soon to be established British Swimming Intensive Training Centre. To be able to announce two world class coaching appointments to go with the already exceptional TeamBath coaching set-up should reinforce the reputation the University of Bath already enjoys as a top class centre for sporting achievement.

The University is already home to the Modern Pentathlon High Performance Training Centre, and University of Bath based female pentathletes have one half of all the medals available since Sydney 2000, when the woman’s event was added to the Olympics. Congratulations this time around go to Heather Fell, who won a silver medal and Katy Livingston, who finished seventh. Ged Roddy, Director of Sport at the University,

Question & Answer with VP Sport James Christmas Josh Cheesman Editor-in-Chief editor@bathimpact.com Tell us a bit about sport at the University of Bath.

The Students’ Union runs the Sports Association, which is the umbrella for all of our clubs. We have 49 clubs that come under that, from your regulars – football, netball, rugby – to gliding, sub aqua and canoeing, so we cover quite a range. They’re all run by students – they run them and we give them the support – and they run things like training practices, matches (both competitive and recreational), trips and social events throughout the year. We also run various schemes, such as a rec club, a wellness scheme and intramurals. The wellness scheme is free for all sports association members (join for only £10 a year), and runs four hour long classes a week in the Founders’ Hall, two Circuit Training sessions at 12:15 p.m. on Monday and Tuesday at 7:45 a.m., Aerobics at 4 p.m. on Thursday and Body Conditioning at Monday 1:15 p.m.

These sessions are on a purely recreational basis, students can attend as much or as little as they want, with no pressure to attend every session merely because you turn up to the first one. Go to www.bathstudent.

com/sports/join to join the Sports Association.

How can new students get involved in sport at Bath?

We’re having a sports day, which we’ve done in the past, but it’s going to be bigger and better this year.

It’s on the Wednesday of Freshers’ Week [September 24], and a lot of clubs will have things going on out on the Parade; for example, the surf club are going to have a surfboard on rollers, and they’re going to have a competition for anyone interested in surfing, trampolining want to bring a trampoline out, the kayakers are going to bring a canoe out, that sort of thing. All the clubs will be hanging out on Parade to advertise themselves that day, and throughout the week there are trials for things like hockey, football, rugby and a whole host of others. We are also pleased to announce two new clubs, Handball and Boxing. The Freshers’ Week event managers will be advertising the freshers’ sports day, but there’s things going on during the rest of the week as well. They’ll have already received in their freshers’ mail out a leaflet about the Sports Association and all our clubs, and they can join these on our website and find out more about each particular club. Also, there’s the Sports Fair, which is happening on Monday September 29, where all the sports

commended the pentathletes: “We’re absolutely delighted for all the staff and athletes from Pentathlon GB who are based in the University of Bath’s Sports Training Village for their success in Beijing… Well done to them all.”

Congratulations should also go to Ben Rushgrove, who won silver in the T36 100m in the Paralympics. Speaking about the experience, Ben said “Beijing has been a great experience and to win a medal in the 100m was fantastic.”

The University can also claim British sprinter Craig Pickering as one of their own, not to mention ex- student Marilyn Okoro, who was part of the women’s 4x400m relay team that finished fifth in Beijing.

TeamBath, the University’s football side, has got off to a great start in the Blue Square South division, where they are currently in third position after nine games, and still have a 100% home record at Twerton Park. Their next fixture is away to Basingstoke Town on September 20th. clubs will be represented, as well as the Sports Association, and bits of the Sports Department. They can meet committee members and ask any questions they want.

What about students who don’t want to take part at a competitive level? How can they get involved in sports at the University?

There are indeed. Probably the best thing about Bath I’d say is that all our facilities, with the exception of the gym, are free for anyone to use. You can book badminton, squash, tennis and basketball courts, or AstroTurf for a game of five-a-side football or hockey with your friends. You can run on the track, indoor or outdoor, or swim in either of the swimming pools. There’s also a free gym at the Sulis Club, which is off campus, so it’s a bit out of the way, but it’s only £5 to get your card and then it’s free for the rest of the year. Also, the Sports Association has the rec club, which is a whole load of equipment which is free for students to use once they join and have paid their £10 for the year – they don’t need to go and buy a racket just to play a game of tennis. Then there’s our wellness scheme, which aims to get people involved in exercise, and health and fitness. We run four sessions a week, two circuit training sessions, one speed, agility and quickness class, and an aerobics session. Again, that’s something that anyone who’s a member of the Sports Association

can go to. They’re at the same times every week, and they’re held in the Founders Sports Hall.

Basically it’s for people to play more interesting sports that they might not have had the chance to play at school, things like handball, floorball, netball (a lot of guys don’t really get a chance to play netball) and volleyball.

What will returning students find is new about sport at Bath this year?

Coach education has been changed around slightly this year, and there’s a lot more opportunity to get qualifications, which will be subsidised by us. There’s quite a few available, including umpiring, refereeing, first aid, MiDAS (which allows you to drive SU vehicles), helping out in sports clubs, and coaching young children in the community. Before clubs had to spend money on coach education, so it wasn’t really promoted, and last year we didn’t have that many people doing qualifications, whereas this year we’ve already had bookings for places on these courses. That went out on the Back 2 Bath letters, so returning students should have seen that.

For those members of clubs and societies, we will be changing the way that committee members hand over to the next committee.

At the minute, all the training is done when they return to Bath, which means that a lot of the organising has to be done preseason, before everyone comes back. Ideally we want the training

beforehand, so we’re moving it to around Easter time, so they’ll have Easter and a week either side to get used to it. We also want to synchronise the election process – have the committee elections at the same time, to generate a bit more interest, and maybe try and tie it into a Score event as well. Also, we want to run a University event sometime in the year with the Great Britain wheelchair basketball club.