bathimpact Volume 14 Issue 02

Professor Science Science page 20

Alt-J interview

Freshers’ Week Survey News page 4 & 5

bite page 4

bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Monday 8th October 2012

www.bathimpact.com

University of Bath

Volume 14 Issue 2

In this week’s bathimpact mintyfresh returns We at bathimpact hate discrimination and have decided to bring the juggernaught that is mintyfresh back into the general publication. No longer will tales of embarassment be confined only to freshers for one week a year. We visited the first Score of the year to start our new feature that gives you the best gossip of the week.

See page 14 of bite for more

New World section bathimpact proudly introduces the World section, an opportunity for you to share your experiences and culture with Bath. The section will be split into a foreign language section to highlight our diversity and a travel section where you can write about your adventures abroad The graphic design of the new planned General Teaching Accommodation building that is hoped to be finished by October 2013.

GTA: Bath release date 2013 Holly Adeyemo bathimpact Reporter

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lanning permission for the new General Teaching Accommodation building was granted this month. The £26 million project, which has been in the works since the University’s 20092026 Masterplan proclaimed ‘the University’s objectives of [developing] academic and administrative space. The building will be located next to the sports hall.

Features of the general teaching accommodation range from large capacity lifts and 30-seat group lecture rooms to the space-age ‘copper-clad pod’ lecture rooms, ‘Skywalk’ bridge to the parade and ‘state of the art audio visual provision’, according to the University of Bath website. One student said of the copper-clad lecture pods, ‘I don’t understand what it is,’ and finished, ‘but it will be good to see

it in 2013.’

Building work on the 1 West expansion and refurbishment began on the 20th of August this year, subsequent to planning permission being granted in the same month.

Also planned is the new student accommodation building, which the new general teaching accommodation will overlook, and a Centre for the Arts. ‘It will be good to have an updated West building,’ said one student, upon hearing this, ‘and we need more accommodation.’ All this is part of a £100 million investment scheme into the campus which Professor Dame Glynis Breakwell, the Vice Chancellor, believes will ‘further enhance our ability to deliver an outstanding student experience’.

Despite the claim on the University website that the new buildings will have ‘improved environmental performance’, one student, who wished to remain anonymous, said

‘The reason it took so long to get planning permission is because it’s on a green belt.’ However the student quoted considered ‘the benefits to outweigh the drawbacks’ of building the general teaching accommodation. ‘As long as it’s well laid out so you can see and hear the lecturer…that [new building]would be a positive thing.’

Concerns of students over the projects seem to include not being thoroughly ‘informed about it’ and, to a lesser extent ‘the noise’, which is seen as avoidable if ‘they had started work in the summer.’

However, work on 1 West did begin in August, during the summer holidays.

Due to open in October 2013, the buildings will double the amount of large scale lecture theatres at a university where the number of students has grown from 7,031 in 1994 to 15,151 in 2011, there are 7

applicants per place for Chemistry, and Maths students, according to one source, only have lectures in East Building 1.1 or the University Hall due to the sheer volume of students attending. Although some people may hold the view that the new teaching accommodation is unneeded because ‘facilities were quite modern anyway compared to other universities,’ to use the words of one student interviewed, it is clear that the two planned 350-seat lecture theatres contained in the general teaching accommodation are a vital addition to our university campus.

Ultimately students seem to support the projects, one saying, ‘I think it’s a good thing, it’s definitely a good thing’ and ‘[at] other universities some things were, like, falling apart, so this is already one of the best universities and the buildings will be [another] positive thing.’

Turn to page 14 of World to see the new section

Ben meets Theo bathimpact Features Editor meets entrepreneur and Dragon Theo Paphitis to talk about his new business venture, Boux Avenue, the retail recession and the reality about your degree and how it will help you.

Read more in Business page 17

Cabinet Reshuffle bathimpact reporter Worthington Thomas tells this newspaper about how our local MP, Don Foster has been given the position of Junior Minister for Communities and Local Government and how it affects you and the City of Bath.

Read page 8 of Comment for more

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Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Editorials

bathimpact

www.bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie Editor-in-Chief impact-editor@bath.ac.uk

Elliott Campbell Deputy Editor impact-deputy@bath.ac.uk

The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

We need to talk about FW T

his issue of bathimpact will be available until three weeks after the end of this year’s Freshers’ Week, so it might seem unusual to devote two pages of our news section and this editorial to writing about an event that happens once a year. bathimpact has decided to conduct the investigation which appears on pages 4 and 5 of this issue to highlight the issues that Freshers’ Week raises in general and the tone that it sets for newcomers of the student experience at the University of Bath.

It is important to explain that this article and the accompanying investigation is not intended to criticise the often excellent work of Freshers’ Week volunteers, the Students’ Union, the University or any of the staff involved in the organisation and running of the week. Where comments and stories are attributed to anonymous freshers, volunteers or others they should not be taken to reflect the general behaviour of any particular group. bathimpact’s intention is to draw the attention of those involved and those outside the process to the effect that this week has on incoming and returning students and to the culture at the

University of Bath.

Freshers’ Week matters and not because of its scandalous or embarrassing moments. However embarrassing, an anecdote in isolation is just a story. Freshers’ Week matters because it both reflects and sets the tone for many people’s entire university experience, and certainly their experience of first year. If something is wrong with the way that the University treats its new arrivals then those problems will persist.

There can be no doubt that something is wrong with the way that freshers are treated in the week. Though most people seem to have a good time and freshers themselves are not effective in identifying the issues, some volunteers (including bathimpact) have noticed a number of trends over the last few years in Freshers’ Week behaviour and culture which are unhealthy.

The basic model is simple. A great many of the University’s youngest and most vulnerable students get hugely inebriated and end up in situations they would otherwise avoid. The screaming, the chanting, the vomiting, all of it is a part of culture that many find

abhorrent. Initiating new students in the manner that Freshers’ Week does helps to permeate a broad acceptance of so-called ‘lad culture’.

Culture persists, hangovers do not.

It is not within the scope of our investigation to properly examine the links between this culture and Freshers’ Week. There can be no doubt, however, that Freshers’ Week reinforces this at Bath with the new intake. It encourages an atmosphere of excessive consumption of alcohol and various other forms of questionable behaviour.

It dehumanises all of its most enthusiastic participants and it lowers the calibre of the students here before they have even finished unpacking. Institutionalising this vast, degrading initiation was a mistake made by universities all over the country years and years ago.

During the week, bathimpact ran mintyfresh, URB put out podcasts and CTV released videos. Our remit and our objective in putting these out is to raise our own profile as well as trying to amuse both other students and ourselves. We have tried to contextualise disgusting or stupid acts as particu-

larly disgusting or stupid. URB ran a feature on ‘Hammerhead Crew’, which further drew attention to the ulterior motives of some of the student volunteers that ‘helped’ during Freshers’ Week. At the end of the day, however, student media are complicit in encouraging what goes on and do not seek to be absolved of that responsibility. bathimpact are not offering a solution to the problems that Freshers’ Week raises. That is not to say that no solution to these problems exists, nor is it to say that solving these problems (or even raising them) will be popular.

The purpose of this article and the parallel investigation is to air unspoken issues that hover around during Freshers’ Week, to provide a platform for students and others to participate in the necessary debate about what we do, how we do it and how we can do it better. It would be wonderful if there were a quick fix to the issues around Freshers’ Week. It is not just a problem for the University or Union or volunteers, but, more fundamentally, a wider cultural issue. This newspaper cannot make things change on its own, but it can start the conversation.

We’re really sorry, honest E

very now and then bathimpact feels obliged to provide our readers with an apology.

Generally this is because we printed something incorrect and feel our readers deserve to know that we know that this newspaper did something wrong. Today’s apology is for the piece in Issue 1’s Freshers’ Special, entitled “Preditorial: A Cautionary Tale”. Following the release of the issue, bathimpact was informed by the Students’ Union Officers that it would result in a severe backlash from students as they would misinterpret its intentions. bathimpact is sorry. It has been made clear that an article which presents a sharking member of crew as an unrepentant psychopath trying to do something really horrible might be interpreted by some of the student body as saying that this is ok. For clarity, bathimpact do not think that this sort of behaviour is acceptable, but we now understand that trying to use any form of writ-

ing other than saying exactly what is meant and where the information comes from is basically being difficult and cruel. Some of our readers may have understood the article (those who did should probably think about dropping out and going to Oxbridge instead of hanging out with the peasants). If anyone both understood the article and found its contents offensive, then congratulations, this is the correct response, because this is a thing that happens and it is a thing that is horrible and this newspaper makes no apology for telling people that horrible things are going on in any literary form. It would be wrong to run pictures of bunnies and rainbows and to tell you that the world is wonderful. It is not. bathimpact has received a complaint about this article. It is important to say that feedback is actively encouraged and this newspaper is eager to openly address criticism and give space over to our detractors to better voice their dissatisfaction.

If people point out factual inaccuracies, in particular, bathimpact is more than happy to print a retraction and apologise. In this case, the complaint was focused on tonal issues which stem from a misunderstanding of the style of the piece.

Satire has been used since the beginning of free media to take on massive issues: from monarchy to fascism to corruption.

Sarcasm notwithstanding, it is important to be able to use satire and other literary devices to make a point in a number of different ways.

That same issue began with an editorial on rape and trying to tackle the social context in which people can have their ability to consent denied them without being held at knifepoint. These articles make the same point in two different ways. One presents a serious and complete picture, the other takes you away into the tragic, violent world of the sort of person who routinely considers this an acceptable way to behave. Both

Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

highlight the issue, both make clear to anyone who reads them from start to finish with an open mind that this sort of behaviour is never acceptable. One uses an amusing framing technique to make its point, the other does not. It would come as no surprise to this newspaper that the satire was a more effective warning than the serious piece. Anyone taking the satire as an instruction manual should not be at this University.

It has to be possible for this newspaper to tailor not only its message, but its method of delivering that message, so that it is able to most effectively make its point. Satire is one of the most effective methods of speaking truth to power, which is why those who have power do not like its use. bathimpact sincerely apologises to those who misinterpreted the article in question, but this newspaper will not apologise for raising difficult issues or for doing that in a way that idiots cannot understand.

Liv Hows News and Comment Editor impact-news@bath.ac.uk

Benjamin Butcher Features Editor impact-features@bath.ac.uk

Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson Photography Editor impact-photo@bath.ac.uk

IT Officer impact-it@bath.ac.uk

Scarlett Clark Publicity Officer impact-publicity@bath.ac.uk

Aran Gnana Treasurer impact-money@bath.ac.uk

Nick Hill Media Officer su-media-officer@bath.ac.uk

Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806 www.facebook.com/bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151

U n i v e r s i t y

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U n i o n

STUDENT

m edia The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct.

Please contact them for any information.

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

News

www.bathimpact.com

3

Rent prices rise through the roof

Average Bath rent prices would get you the equivalent of these houses in other UK towns ket. This is largely because the city cities, such as Bristol or London, Another reason for the high remains very attractive, both in and thus commuters, choosing to demand for rental properties in term of its stunning architecture live in this historic city and work Bath, and consequently the high and in terms of what it has to offer elsewhere, are a common phe- prices paid by tenants on averregarding schools and transport. nomenon in Bath. This factor is age, is house prices. House prices Moreover, Bath promises a better enhanced as the city is within easy in Bath are very high, averaging quality of life than other, larger reach of London and Bristol. at £293,919, compared to the na-

tional average which is £238,638; prices for detached properties in Bath are even higher, averaging at £418,364. These high prices cause many people to rent as they cannot afford to buy in the city. This is one of the key reasons for Bath’s strong rental market.

What is also important to note is that although Bath has over 20,000 students, rental prices still remain very high. What this means is that many students congregate in a few specific areas due to lower house prices and often less convenient transport links, over used transport links and which are a far distance away from their place of study. Yet the high demand for rentals means that prices are never lowered as the captive market allows prices to remain so far above average because students are left with no choice.

Bath, with its transport links, architecture and good schools and universities, it is a highly sought after location and demand for rental property in the city is high.

This is solidified by the high house prices, forcing many people to rent rather than buy.

Principal Christopher Horner.

Ashley commented: “the Red Bull Racing internship was a once in a lifetime opportunity to further develop skills that will allow me to be a better employee in the future, whichever direction my career takes”. The Red Bull internship competition was launched in March 2012, as an alternative to the traditional hiring process, citing that neither experience nor a ‘packed CV’ were necessary, testing people through their website on things like reaction times and mental arithmetic skills. The final interviewing process started in June 2012. This alternative application process for their summer internship competition may be a near-genius move by Red Bull; with the current economic climate and job market being what they are, as well as the somewhat disparaging figures of employment for postgraduates, this may be why the Red Bull Racing internship competition received such an overwhelming response.

Red Bull is in it’s eighth season of Grand Prix competitions, debuting in 2005 and having claimed four world championship titles since, despite a near-complete overhaul of design regulations for F1 cars that ultimately led to Red Bull Racing creating their most com-

ranks. Ashley has a bright future in I.T. ahead of him and I hope that we and Red Bull have been able to help provide him with valuable experience as he plans his future career”.

lovestruckl

Madelaine Winn bathimpact Reporter ccording to Endsleigh Insurance, Bath has been ranked the fifth most expensive town or city for tenants, behind Slough, Guildford, Watford and London. Rent prices in Bath are £963 a month, on average, a whopping £257 more than the national average. Rental prices nationally have risen for the third year running; the 2011 national average was £706, compared to £663 in 2009.

Central London, despite experiencing a drop in rental prices of 3 per cent, is still the most expensive place to rent in the UK with prices averaging at £1,330 a month. However, Grant Stevens, the general manager of letting services at Endsleigh, explains that ‘rents in London have been rising for a long time so it is no great surprise that there is finally a cooling in prices’.

Bath’s high rent prices, pushing the city into the top fives most expensive places to rent, have not dampened the demand for rental properties; both demand and supply have remained strong in Bath, creating a successful rental mar-

A

Helen Edworthy bathimpact Reporter

L

ast month, a Computer Science student from Bath won a chance to work with the Red Bull Formula One team after going up against thousands of applicants and dozens of interviewees and ending up as one of the final set of interns in the fields of Aerodynamics, Electronics, Marketing, I.T, and Procurement.

Instead of the usual practice of hiring and using CVs, Red Bull issued a test and received 100,000 responses, intending to test applicants on a multitude of skills, as well as testing to see how much applicants desired the position; how motivated they would be both to get the job and their motivation as future potential interns.

University of Bath student Ashley Grimshaw was one of five winners of a summer internship with Red Bull after getting a 90/100 on the initial testing phase. He then impressed the Red Bull team through his use of I.T. innovation in the secondary stage of the application process, and this along with his lifelong interest in Formula One set his application apart from others. Ashley and the 49 other applicants visited the Red Bull team factory in Milton Keynes, meeting with department heads as well as Team

pretty green

Comp Sci student gets his wings

Luke, Ashley, Sebastian Vettel, Christopher and Warren all pose for a different camera. petitively successful car to date, the RB6, with which they won the 2010 Constructors Champions after nine wins. Of both Ashley and the internship, Red Bull Racing Team Principal Christopher Horner said

“The response from this search was truly overwhelming, the applications we received were of a very high standard. It’s so exciting to find promising young talent like Ashley coming up through the

4

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

bathimpact Special Report

www.bathimpact.com

bathimpact spoke to one fresher, who preferred to remain anonymous, about their alternative Freshers’ Week experience and what they thought of other parts of Freshers’ Week: As an event, or series of events, Freshers’ Week is designed to be enjoyable. It is for a lot of people; drinking, parties, meeting new people – those are all good things. The only problem is that if you aren’t into that particular set of activities, it can feel like the point of Freshers’ Week has been missed. I know that was the case for me, if only slightly. I met new people, however, and that was fun. I got introduced to the university and managed to mostly work out how to get around campus, and that was invaluable. I know that I am coming from a particular viewpoint of Freshers Week as a mostly nondrinking non-clubber, and I was aware of how enjoyable Freshers’ Week was for a lot of people. The only real issues are that there

didn’t seem to be a lot of non-club alternatives (or if there were, they weren’t very well advertised) and there is peer pressure to drink. It’s difficult to tell when there is the expectation that you will drink during Freshers’ Week, but there is added pressure on top of it. The pressure wasn’t as problematic as I feel it could have been, but I definitely felt it – not just from other freshers, but from Freshers’ Crew, as well. The Freshers’ Crew next door, as well as my own. For people who are meant to be looking after you, I think the crew did a mostly sub-par job of it; but then I am biased because my own didn’t appear to like me very much.

But besides all that Freshers’ Week was fun – not so much the main, overhyped events, but if you can make your own alternative one and enjoy that, as I did, then it’s definitely something that will generate fond memories in the future.

A FWEM’s view

A fresher’s view

Sam Short

The Freshers’ Week 2012 Survey:

Dylan Baker, one of the Freshers’ Week Event Manager (FWEM) was interviewed by bathimpact on what he thought of Freshers’ Week. When asked about what he thought freshers thought the point of the week was and whether they should be treated as adults. Dylan said: “Not every student is ready for university”.

They’re often not ready to live independently or to effectively make their own decisions. It is vital to note that he realises that what freshers expect is to drink and to party. Warwick University, in contrast, has run a Freshers’ Fortnight, which paces the week out a little more, mixing in more introductory lectures and the like. Baker sees the appeal of such a set up but notes that it was not popular with arriving students due to the feeling of separation between their experience and the experiences of all their friends in other universities around the country.

He points out that alcohol is “not a bad way to meet people”. He argues that any problematic usage of alcohol comes from a wider culture related to drinking in the country as a whole, not as a result of Freshers’ Week itself.

It is also vital to remember that the FWEMs are instructed to run Freshers’ Week as a business venture – costs are mitigated by sales of wristbands with in-event drinks sales representing profit.

More than anything else, it’s about helping the kids get settled and comfortable.

Dylan is aware of the problem of peer pressure and lad culture but he thinks, to some extent, that FW is a learning curve in that respect too. On one night, he remembers, thirteen out of seventeen freshers in a flat declined to go to the event, preferring instead to watch Harry Potter.

Perhaps the limited freedom of Freshers’ Week does its job after all.

bathimpact team impact-news@bath.ac.uk reshers’ Week comes under scrutiny every year in many parts of the country.

On one side it is lauded as an enjoyable and open party that settles young adults into new lives at University. It is similarly deplored as a week that promotes ‘lad culture’, binge-drinking and a dangerously laissez-faire approach to sexual encounters.

Many of the criticisms are linked to broader narratives relating to cultural decline and a general vilification of modern youth culture – such narratives are readily apparent in the output, year round, of most national and regional media organisations. bathimpact does not intend to add to such a stereotypical view of youth culture. The results and stories that this newspaper have gathered have been collected out of curiosity by a group of students who are broadly the peers of those under scrutiny. This is not a case of pointing fingers, it is about asking questions.

Is Freshers’ Week what people want? Does it make wider cultural problems better or worse? Are there any serious problems within it that need to be looked at?

F

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

5

bathimpact Special Report

www.bathimpact.com

perception vs reality This survey of freshers’ experience of Freshers’ Week is preliminary. The results are not to be taken as gospel, though we surveyed more than enough for patterns to emerge and the results are gathered from 67 different people in different kitchen groups They are also extremely interesting.

First off, 92 per cent of Freshers said they enjoyed the week. This is very much worth noting and the organisers should be applauded for pleasing the majority of their audience. Where these opinion polls become truly noteworthy is when perceptions are examined alongside other events that were reported to this newspaper.

If there is interest in further data gathering and analysis then bathimpact entirely supports this.

The findings of this survey present an excellent opportunity for people to speak to their Students’ Union about the issues raised. The SU Freshers’ Week survey is now available online (www.bathstudent.com) and through the Freshers’ Week Facebook page. bathimpact asked Freshers a range of questions about what they thought of their week. For example 86.6 per cent of Freshers thought in hindsight that the point of Freshers’ Week was to meet new people, with the rest citing ‘alcohol’. Despite this, 40.3 per cent said that they had drunk more in the week than ever before.

Data regarding Crew and Captains brought about the most interesting results.

34 per cent felt pressured into drinking, with 2.7 freshers per flat or house vomited during the week.

The disparity between this pressure and the overall enjoyment raises some interesting questions – chiefly, what causes a bad experience?

During the survey this newspaper discovered that 69 per cent of freshers felt there was a general pressure for them to enjoy their Fresher’s Week. Most of this pressure appeared to come externally, due to a nationwide pressure for all first year students to have a good time rather than there being a specific pressure here at the University, although there were still some students that felt this pressure came from fellow students.

Although 92 per cent of people said that they enjoyed it, and 69 per cent of the same number felt a pressure to do so, it is hard to get a

feel of true extent to which people enjoyed it.

Another statistic that came out of the survey was when we asked a crucial question: was sex or sex culture important to Freshers’ Week and did freshers feel any pressure to have sex? 24 per cent of those interviewed said that they had felt under pressure regarding sex. Sex is an important part of many students lives, that is for certain, but one quarter of new students feeling pressurised in this area of their private lives is concerning. Particularly when one bears in mind that most teenagers feel pressured to a reasonable extent about sex anyway. This is 24 per cent on top of that.

It is very difficult to assign blame for this. Certainly some can be attributed to Crew and Captains simply for being unable to reassure their charges or from being complicit themselves. One common story that emerged during the survey was of male members of Crew who were insistent to return to halls, only for the female fresher to adamantly say no. The buck cannot stay with Crew and Captains alone, of course.

Another source can be found in freshers culture as a whole. Year after year new people turn up to universities generally aged between 17 and 19, eager to enter student life and all that comes with it.

Along with this come expectations of both what university life is like, as well as what is expected of them.

Inevitably many will end up buying into the more damaging aspects of fresher culture.

Data regarding Crew and Captains brought about the most interesting results. At bathimpact there was a general expectation that those who were fulfilling the various rumours of Crew and Captains being predatory and pressurising poor first years into drinking, would be those who were most disliked and regarded as doing their job badly. Yet our numbers suggests otherwise.

Freshers were asked how they perceived their Crew and Captains.

77 per cent of people said they thought positively of their Crew and Captains. Only 23 per cent of people saying they found their Crew and Captains lacking, certainly a change from the word of mouth reviews of previous years.

It turns out that ‘good’ Crew and Captains are the Crew and Captains most associated with freshers feeling pressured to drink. Out of the flats surveyed, of those who felt pressured to drink or who felt there was too much importance

placed on alcohol, 77 per cent thought their Freshers’ Crew and Captains were good.

In a similar vein to this is a significant discovery about the correlation between the amount of sex had and ‘good’ Crew and Captains. Crew and Captains who are deemed to have successfully done their job had a 48 per cent success rate of copulating with freshers, whereas those who were thought to be inferior members of Crew and Captains only had a 30 per cent success rate. This displays a worrying disparity between perceptions and reality.

While still on the subject of Crew and Captain relations with freshers, one outrageous statistic was the amount of sex had by Crew and Captains with first years compared to that by freshers with other freshers. The thing to point out most clearly is that there is a social expectation that Freshers’ Week is a time for freshers to let loose.

Crew and Captains are meant to be managing the situation. But it seems they are undertaking the task of bed hopping more enthusiastically than freshers themselves.

During this last Freshers’ Week Crew and Captains were five times more likely to have sex with a fresher than a fresher was with a peer.

Perhaps the role of Crew and Captains in the future needs to be reassessed and even redefined.

Their role is to be there to guide and assist new students in adjusting to their new surroundings, not pursuing other aims. A key example of this is a story of a group of Crew and Captains entering the event arena to the cry of “this is our night for sharking”. This is not how Crew and Captains should see Freshers’ Week (as one giant opportunity to get lucky) and they certainly should not see it as acceptable to act in this way, despite being told, multiple times, not to.

Freshers’ Week is a one off, annual event. The problematic behaviours displayed during the week are not.

Is Freshers’ Week the result of ‘lad’ culture? Is it the outcome of so many people viewing sex and binge drinking as the ultimate statement of success and social desirability or is it a catalyst for ‘lad’ culture?

There needs to be further investigation and wider data gathering for such questions to be answered.

The debate is now very much out in the open. bathimpact is keen for more diverse opinions on it – please send any questions, comments or articles to impact-editor@bath.ac.uk

The darker shaded boxes represent the proportion of those Captains and Crew who had sex with freshers during Freshers’ Week

86.6% of freshers said that FW was about ‘meeting people’ rather than drinking. However 40.3% of freshers said that they had drunk more in FW than they ever had previously.

Relative success rate of sex with freshers. Crew and Captains were five times more likely to have had sex with freshers than freshers were.

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Comment

www.bathimpact.com

7

Slut Dropping: a dangerous game D

uring Freshers’ Week I interviewed a lot of people and heard lots of different stories. Varying from the ordinary to the unacceptable. One person in particular stuck in my mind as he had a particularly concerning pastime. He is a self-professed ‘slut dropper’.

A slut dropper is essentially someone who stays up until clubs begin to close and then drives around a city until he finds a lone drunk and vulnerable girl – as he eloquently terms them the ‘slut’. He then proceeds to offer the girl a lift home, seeming to be well meaning

“

Pick up any random slut, drive her as far away from her house and get her out then drive away.

Legal

”

Slut Dropper and gentlemanly. He then drives away, taking them miles away from their home and then perform the ‘drop’. The whole ordeal is filmed by this person’s friends from the back of his car, presumably so the whole scene can be relived at their leisure.

Now not only is this practice disturbing, but the guy I met was actually proud of the fact that he does it. This isn’t some secret, twisted compulsion; it’s a game to him. He boasted to me about driving one girl forty-five minutes away from her house before kicking her out, and how he’s devised a point system based on how far away he can drive them. The further the drop, the greater the points. There’s even a Facebook page, where he explains the whole thing in his own words “Pick up any random slut, drive her as far away from her house and get her out then drive away. Legal” Following my conversation with him. I was pretty annoyed. Mostly I was, and still am, disappointed that I live in a culture where people can find something like this funny.

Whether this is an offshoot of LAD culture or simply something new, it shouldn’t be allowed to thrive. And yet people are encouraging this. All of the hundred or so likes on Facebook are just as guilty as the perpetrators themselves for supporting ‘slut dropping’. The fact that they’re are so many people that don’t find this act repulsive is shocking, it’s even more surprising to know that they’re are so many people who ac-

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson

bathimpact’s Elliott Campbell talks about one fresher’s dark habit

The Slut Dropper has left more than one girl walking the streets alone at night with no way home. tually condone it. In fact one of the something like this can be done so plied. This sort of thing should act slut-droppers female housemates, easily. It’s worrying that people are as a warning to everyone, that peowho you’d think of all people should willing to jump into a stranger’s car, ple may endanger you, just for the be most appalled, said “Its fine particularly when they’re on their sake of a laugh. though because they’re sluts”. It own late at night. I’m not suggestIt is important to mention that is this sort of blasé reaction to this ing that anyone taken advantage of there is no need to panic or feel in phenomenon which is most worry- in this way is to blame, but we don’t any danger, the said individual has ing. live in a utopia. In all cases common been reported to the proper authoriI was also slightly frustrated that sense and caution should be ap- ties and measures are being taken.

Worthington Thomas bathimpact Writer ast weekend the Sunday Times newspaper revealed their list of the top universities in the UK for 2012/2013. During that time I have seen a large number of people take to Facebook to post pictures of the clipping and to shriek in online glee at how their degrees, complete or in progress, have appreciated. Certainly I am not complaining, as a final year, that the degree I hope to get next summer will undoubtedly be worth more as a result of our new 3rd place ranking.

Nevertheless I started to think more and more about the whole thing. For the last five to ten years Bath has gently drifted up the league tables and in the last couple it has cemented its reputation in the top ten. This however was my issue. The other three main suppliers of university rankings, The Times, The Guardian and The Complete University Guide, all ranked Bath either 9th or 10th this year. When three lists are essentially in agreement how do we end up in third place with The Sunday Times. We are, in my mind, undoubtedly top 10 but I just don’t

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Philip Pankhurst

The intricacies of University ratings

University of Bath inexplicably shoots to 3rd in one Uni ratings believe that we’re 3rd. best time to cast doubt. You can’t You may be asking why I’m even be the guy who slates the way these mentioning this. Why can’t I just lists are constructed when we’ve be happy that we’re 3rd and shut just slipped ten places. I think that up. The answer is that this is the there is no more legitimate time

to raise questions about the game than when we’re winning.

So how do the rules of this game work? Well each of the four big league tables pick what they think are the most important criteria for top Universities. These range from the percentage of students who get 2:1s or 1sts to the amount the University spends on its library and computers per student. Criteria over the years have gone through phases and the big one at the moment is student satisfaction. Bath has always had excellent student satisfaction rates so as this criteria has become more popular we have gone up.

Nevertheless some of the criteria are not overly relevant to prospective students who, for example, would be unhappy that quality of research is weighted at the same level as student satisfaction for all four tables. If I were an A Level student again I would prefer to know that students at the University I want to go to came out satisfied by their experience than the quality of their super string theory research. I am not a string I am a person.

Nevertheless the overlap of cri-

teria is quite large with there being a total of around 20 criteria being used across 4 lists, with 10 per list. Looking at the Sunday Times criteria I can see why we do well.

Graduate Employment, Student Satisfaction and Dropout Rate particularly go in our favour but I remained unconvinced that this would be enough to put us in third.

If I instead look at criteria not used by the Sunday Times it is perhaps more telling. Sunday Times does not include student-staff ratio, or spending per student. That’s not to say that Bath does badly at such things but it is worth noting that those are criteria used by the 3 tables that put us in 9th or 10th.

Both of those are criteria which are easily altered in order to bump ones ranking, whereas criteria like quality of teaching cannot be given the same quick fix and probably are more relevant. So even though I think that 9th is too low and 3rd is too high what I’m really saying is if it could all be more about criteria that matter and if we as a university spent our time focussing on improving those criteria that matter most then I think we could be 3rd.

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Monday 8th October 2012

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Worthington Thomas bathimpact Writer

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conservativeparty

aving received a relatively tame amount of press coverage, I would not be surprised if you hadn’t read about the UK Cabinet reshuffle a month ago. It was Prime Minister David Cameron’s first reshuffle since the formation of the coalition government, marking a significant change from the seemly frequent reshuffles of the previous Labour administration.

One of the reasons the reshuffle received little coverage was because all the top jobs were never going to change hands.

In fact the cabinet only had five newcomers in the form of the Welsh, Northern Ireland, Culture and Justice Secretary and the leader of the Conservative Party. And Ken Clarke did not even leave to vacate Justice Secretary, he’s still in the Cabinet as a Minister Without Portfolio. I hope that means he has to bring tea and biscuits to all the meetings but I’m not sure.

The important part for us, in terms of Ministers remaining, is that both the Education and Universities Ministers have kept their jobs. Michael Gove has proposed so many wild changes to the education system that he seems like a bull in a china shop.

As we’re all made of china it is very worrying indeed. David Willets has also remained in place, even though Universities

and their students are at an all time level of unhappiness. The worst thing about it is that there was never any doubt that they would remain. Michael Gove has been a golden boy of the party since its reshaping in 2005 and wrote a number of speeches for the Prime Minister in the race for the General Election. They are good friends. David Willets ran Thatcher’s policy shop for a while and has been behind the scenes for quite a long time.

Closer to home Bath & North East Somerset’s very own MP Don Foster has been given a junior ministerial position in the Communities and Local Government. His remit will include community rights and housing. In case you’ve missed it the Liberal Democrats of BANES Council are currently ignoring the part of the community that contains students in order to push through housing regulations against them. I feel confident that Don Foster will come to rescue.

In an attempt to heal some community wounds the SU Officers and the Student Community Partnership are out in Oldfield Park going door to door starting on Monday 8th, and continuing for rest of the week. They’ll be talking to both students and non-students alike about community projects, particularly the ‘Get to know your neighbours’ scheme.

Michael Gove kept his job. Could this spell doom for students?

kenjonbro

Reshuffled? Addled with adverts

The compare the meerkat phenomenon that has swept British TV advertising. Is it too much?

Alex Phillpotts shake a badger at. By this point in ads have made up a massive chunk bathimpact Writer the long, confusing, often disturb- of the web since its inception, but irst there was ape, then ing and once or twice erotic history it used to be made up of banners there was man. Then man of advertising, we’ve sat through a and spam, easily ignored and/or made fire, bricks and mor- monstrous parade of the bizarre blocked by the casual user. These tar and built the world we live in ramblings, often with no perceiv- days however, if you want to watch today. Then man made television, able connection to the product the an inane viral video of anthropoand evolution pretty much went product they’re trying to sell. A few morphic cats on YouTube (which “fuck it” and hopped back a few years back, Skoda – that is the car I’m almost certain makes up the 8 thousand years, as most of the company – released an ad which per cent of the web that isn’t ads planet worked out that camping contained a workforce of Skoda or porn) you are first subjected to out on the sofa watching endless employees baking the world’s most a minimum fifteen second debrief reruns of Friends and Top Gear elaborate cake. That is, a recog- on the latest happenings in femiwhilst drooling slightly onto cold nised car company is asking you to nine hygiene products. Because pizza was considerably less ef- spend many thousands of pounds the world just needs to know that fort and more entertaining than on the basis of the wonderment with added bovine faecal extract, being industrious. Naturally, the of its cake baking prowess. It’s no you can achieve that next level of big money making corporations different to Nokia asking you to cleansing you never even bothered of our world, seeing that we could cough up for their latest smart- dreaming about. no longer haul ourselves off the phone because they make a great Even that I would grudgingly sofa without motivation, decided lasagne. accept, but it goes so very far bethat the best way to continue their This isn’t news obviously, com- yond that. Now it watches what money making ways would be to panies have been hammering our you read on the internet, checks poke and prod our poor mammal eye sockets until they bleed with out what you shop for on Amazon brains with nonsensical gibber- waves of adverts since before any and listens to what you listen to on ish and thinly veiled metaphors to of us can remember, and not all Spotify. It’s gotten so much like a remind us that there was a bigger of them have been bad (Guinness’ messed up 1984 conspiracy theory world out there, and it sold car in- Surfer advertisement remains one that Target – a discount retailer – surance. of the most hauntingly beautiful raided one shoppers online history I’m not sure I can ever under- pieces of television in modern his- to the extent that they figured out stand the minds who found an tory, even if no-one ever really knew she was pregnant before her own aristocratic Russian meerkat to be what it had to do with Ireland’s fa- father did. That’s right, adverts the natural choice to advocate an vourite stout). But more recently, now know what you’re thinking; insurance comparison website, but they’ve been filling out the cor- if that doesn’t terrify you then you I suspect they were aided by being ners in their slow invasion of the deserve to blow your student loan out of their skulls on more halluci- world’s most lucrative market: the on dating websites and moonpig nogenics than Paul Gascoigne can internet. I call it a slow invasion, cards.

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Monday 28th October 2012

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NUS Survey points out exclusions

Liam Burns, the NUS President, who is also an acquaintance of our SU President, Chris Clements dated. This is certainly something school candidates. creased effect on less affluent famithat needs to be addressed by instituThe concerns following the lies. The NUS President, Liam Burns, tions who hope to rid themeselves of £9,000 cap still remain and NUS has voiced his concern regarding the the stigma of being hubs for private have agreed that it could have an in- tuition fees “We do not want a single

student who wants to attend university not to go because they do not understand the funding system. With the student funding system being hideously complicated, I am hardly surprised that those from less affluent backgrounds are concerned.”

Entering the 2010 election, Nick Clegg promised to abolish tuition fees. In not carrying this out he has left a disappointed society and at this point, just like the rest of the country, Burns could only say that he hopes “the apprehension raised in this polling does not translate to fewer poor students going to university, which thankfully this year’s UCAS application data does not suggest will happen.”

Regardless of the repayment mechanisms, with the idea of £9,000 being stolen from you before you even open a prospectus, is it any wonder that students are deliberating the future, questioning their ideal career and perhaps deciding to simply settle?

Alex Grounds bathimpact Writer very important aspect of life is health. As a young, post adolescent at the University of Bath there are a few specific aspects of health that we should all be aware of. Specifically, students should know about sexual health and any issues relating to any region into which they may be travelling over summer holidays or during their placement year here at the university.

Right next to West Car Park on campus is the University Medical Centre which has a wealth of experience and expertise in these health concerns, who are on hand to help with all of these aspects of healthcare.

Many here at the university are sexually active and now that there are literally no parents to discourage any possible binge drinking you should all be especially caution about the transmission of sexual diseases. There are free sexual health checks at the medical centre on campus which are recommended to all, whether or not you feel that you may have actually contracted anything from anyone. There are a plethora of STDs that exhibit no symptoms for the majority of the time – an example is syphilis which is very easy to transmit, very difficult to diagnose but, luckily, also very easy to check for (you guessed it!) at the medical centre.

There is another side to sexual health that the medical centre is

very keen on supplying to students as well in order to prevent these diseases rather than cure them.

There are a large number of contraceptives available and various transmission prevention methods.

These range from cheap condoms, alternatives like diaphragms and femidoms to contraceptives that do not prevent the transmission of STDs but allow unprotected sex without the possibility of pregnancy. These range from the surgically implanted coil or arm implant to the patch and the pill – of which there are many types made to act on different hormones.

Sexual health Advice For Everyone (SAFE) is an initiative that entitles you to free sexual health checkups and condoms. We would recommend that all students go to the medical centre to find out more.

The other issue that the medical centre would like to us to highlight is an issue that may relate to placement year, which 60 per cent of all Bath students undertake. If you are travelling to another country with a different climate to our own, then there may be virulent diseases that are not endemic in Britain. This means that there would be mandatory injections needed to prevent the spread or transmission of tropical diseases that the medical centre can advise you on. If you are travelling to any other country then receiving recommended injections or taking the requisite pills could save your life in the long run.

or dismissed as ‘just one of those things’. Let that be a lesson to you all.

You can get in touch with the University Medical Centre by phoning 01225 386 655.

So remember, stay SAFE and get a health check up.

NUS Scotland

Scarlett Clark bathimpact Writer n Friday, the 28th September 2012, the National Union of Students (NUS) responded to a survey driven by Ipsos MORI stating that youngsters, especially students from more impoverished backgrounds, are becoming more and more discouraged from enter higher education due to the fear of debt and financial worries.

The survey has demonstrated that more than a third of children from single parent households have made clear that they simply can’t go to University because their parents can’t afford it. Despite the fact that 81 per cent of 11-16 year olds’ education includes higher education, 52 per cent believe that Oxford, Cambridge, Bristol and Durham are elitist and possibly too expensive. This alone suggests that there is something innately wrong with the image that these universities project, who run the risk of deterring many potential students who feel sidelined or intimi-

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Writing On the Mall

Sex, drugs and prophylactic rolls

The Medical Centre and some pharmacists that are part of the SAFE scheme dispense free condoms My housemate has become part of his own fable by ignoring this sage advice. He did not renew his vaccinations, despite recommendations to the contrary which has led to a multitude of doctor visits and consultations and has culminated in a referral to the centre for tropi-

cal diseases. Let us hope that it is nothing serious but he could have saved himself the trouble by ensuring to take him malaria medication and by renewing his vaccinations. It is an important part of going abroad and unlike my friend, one that should not be overlooked

Monday 8th October 2012

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Politics

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Style over substance: US vs. UK

bathimpact’s Sarah Aston analyses our growing obsession with appearance make no mistake that, whilst it was entertaining and thoroughly enjoyable, Obama’s rendition of Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together during his speech in New York a couple of months ago was most probably thought up by his clever PR team to reinforce his image of a cool and approachable president.

Is Britain going the same way?

The era of ‘New Labour’ in the early nineties marked a transition phase.

Whilst previous Prime Ministers Margaret Thatcher and John Major had maintained a sense of tradition

“

I’d rather talk about her actions than her shoes

”

within politics, even if the policies themselves often caused controversy, Tony Blair and the Labour party courted aspects of pop culture (“Cool Britannia”), being photographed with popular TV actresses and musicians.

Fast forward to 2012 and Boris Johnson is being heralded as the next Conservative Prime Minister after becoming stuck in a zipwire and then

being filmed dancing to the Spice Girls at the Olympic Closing Ceremony. For what reason? Because he makes people laugh. But should he be judged as a politician purely by these antics? Probably not.

Whilst political interest in Britain is declining and the turnout for general elections has been at its lowest for the past three political elections, interest in fashion and culture is increasing. As a result, British politics seems to be increasingly dumbed down to what its leading players are wearing or who they can be seen with.

Looking at country stereotypes Britain has always been presented as the stuffy older brother to America’s fast paced, loud-mouthed youth. In Hollywood films, the British are often found wearing tweed, drinking tea and are frequently presented as cold hearted and traditional.

In most areas of life, we know that Britain is a far cry from these stereotypes: yes, granted, we drink tea, but we do have Cool Britannia, Kate Moss, and the success of the 2012 Olympic Games to show that Britain can be as contemporary as America.

Despite this though, politics and politicians have always maintained

a distance from these more frivolous social aspects of Britain and this has, arguably, been to the benefit of society.

When a political leader spends more time worrying about who he should associate himself rather than the policies he should be enacting, it is ultimately the people that lose out.

Look at today’s dissatisfaction with political parties. Yes, Samantha Cameron can dress to impress but satisfaction with the way the government

works is at a gruesome low.

Politicians have always linked themselves with popular people for support but the problem today is that this is all politicians seem to focus on.

Is Britain following American politics in its focus on personality and style over substantial policy change? Let’s face it, in today’s current climate we need politicians who know what they are talking about and although leopard print does suit Theresa, I’d rather talk about her actions than her shoes.

Er_es_anna

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n Wednesday 26th September David Cameron became the first British Prime Minister to appear on a chat show in the United States. Chatting and joking with David Letterman, Cameron spoke of British ambitions and the crisis in Syria.

So far not groundbreaking news, but following the infamous publicity stunts of Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, in the weeks of the Olympic and Paralympic Games and the current culture of paying more attention to Theresa May’s leopard print shoes or Samantha Cameron’s new dress, this recent publicity move from Cameron raises questions about the way politics is presented and enacted within Britain today.

Across the pond the rise of John F Kennedy famously changed the way the game of politics was played out in America. His Presidential campaign marked a step away from the traditional focus on matters of pure policy towards a focus on personality, publicity stunts, fashion and then - and only then - on political issues.

This year’s Presidential campaign is no different. Barack Obama is a constant on American chat shows and

Charasmatic: Could we ever have a British Barack Obama?

Don’t count him out Remember Nick I

leave the workplace they are working towards a goal that is achievable, politicians are given responsibilities such as to run the NHS, recast the examination system or get out of Afghanistan. If they do get through the mammoth tasks placed on them they are always painted in the worst possible light.

If the Liberal Democrat conference is anything to go by it just highlights the fact that The Lib Dems are seeking to reassert their identity with the mansion tax, civil liberties and

green growth as their core principles.

Clegg even praised the coalition saying “This is the first time anyone in modern Britain has experienced a National coalition government… We must show them it is a form of government that works well for them”.

Just listening to the way he still praises the coalition despite the strife it has brought to his working and personal life just demonstrates how he is in this for the long haul and I ask you to think carefully before you write off Clegg.

ScottCampbell

Joe Comyn bathimpact writer n April 2010, Clegg, the new kid on the political block, was hailed as the saviour. Now the same mob that gave him such praise is branding him at best an incompetent fool and at worst a deceptive liar who would say anything to gain political power.

A particular hobby of the media is to chase politicians down the streets after a long day of work screeching “Why don’t you apologise?” and this week was no different. For Clegg, this is because he said he would not expect students to pay any more for their tuition fees, a very brave and possibly idealistic statement. For this one misjudged and badly timed preelection statement he paid the price.

Rather impressively however, instead of swimming in the pool of deceit surrounding him, Clegg chose to come clean and apologise for his mistakes. He was met with a cold reception, both from the media who attacked how out of touch he was from the real world and the political community who stayed true to form and turned on him when he was no longer any use to them.

Politicians take on tasks that would speed up a midlife crisis in even the most vivacious of us. While most can feel content that when they

Under pressure? Clegg is starting to look strained

Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

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ast week marked the first of the presidential debates and annoyingly Mitt Romney came off quite well. People were saying he was channelling the spirit of Reagan (apparently channelling the spirit of a, in this writer’s opinion, war criminal is a good thing? Although it does seem like a good start to a movie, Romney and Cameron channel the evil spirits of Thatcher and Reagan whilst a left wing team of satirists and musicians must form something like the Avengers to save the world), and he was more aggressive compared to the calmer, more informative Obama. This apparently disregards all the other things that have gushed forth from his mouth throughout the campaign.

You know, thinking 47 per cent of people are beneath him, years of suspicious tax and supporting Personhood USA (those ridiculously evil bastards who want to turn the world into the Margaret Atwood novel “A Handmaid’s Tale”). I’m not going to be an Obama fanboy and go on a mas-

sive rant about how any hold ups weren’t his fault and he was blocked blah blah (not entirely untrue, but at the same time he didn’t deliver as much as was promised) but the alternatives are just ridiculous. Rick Santorum was most likely picked up by a time vortex from the 1920’s and screamed the first time he got onto a bus, whereas Mitt Romney is probably the picture they show people auditioning for the part of bond villains.

Luckily this is probably just a matter of expectations, as a bathimpact political correspondent put it, “Obama is a proven debater, Romney just needed to not trip on stage and not cry and people would have thought he did well”. After all the gaffes he’s made so far it was just a surprise that he didn’t make a gigantic one at the first televised opportunity. To conclude let us take you back to the UK general election in 2010, how good did Nick Clegg seem after the first debate?

Which politician apart from Michael Gove do you most want to punch in the eye right now?

Exactly.

Fucking Michael Gove.

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Monday 8th October 2012

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Kazakhstan: the unreported prison Micheal Szweda tells bathimpact about the gross human rights violation in Kazakhstan and why we are failing to report them

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Number of reported deaths at the riots

The government of Kazakhstan is regarded as one of the most blatantly corrupt in the world by many human rights watchdogs ranging from Transparency International to Amnesty. One man, Nursultan Nazarbayev, has been president since the country got independence from the Soviet Union in 1990 and had been First Secretary of the Communist Party for years before

that. In elections, which come only every seven years, he gains 95 per cent of the vote with a 89.9 per cent turnout and, despite signing charters to protect religious freedom, Nazarbayev allows persecution of small religions, such as Hare Krishnas and Jehovah’s Witnesses. As well as this, he has also limited the number of political parties to only 8, therefore eliminating any democratic credentials the country may have held.

It was because of this oppressive government that, in May 2011, violent riots began in Mangystau after oil workers went on strike having not received their full wages. The courts quickly declared the strike illegal and 1000 workers were sacked. They then went on to occupy the city square until December where they clashed with police who were trying to evict them, resulting in at least 14 deaths. Visiting the town after the riots Nazarbayev said “The workers’ demands were in general justified. ... [Employers] should have listened to them and, as much as it is possible, supported them. To my regret, this was not done.” but then went on to torture

many of the protestors including Vladimir Kozlov, the leader of rival political party Democratic Choice of Kazakhstan.

So why was this protest for workers’ rights, not dissimilar to Mohamed Bouazizi’s self-emulation after being forced to pay a draconian fine to corrupt police in Tunisia, hardly reported on? It could be that Kazakhstan is one of the 20 largest exporters of oil, but Libya produces significantly more oil than Kazakhstan. What’s more likely is that Nazarbayev is nowhere near as antagonistic to the West as Colonel Gadaffi was.

In fact he is quite the opposite to antagonistic being both very cooperative and friendly with America.

After 9/11 America sought strategic allies near Afghanistan and Iraq, so in order to depose one dictator they secured another; Nazarbayev allows his citizens to be detained in Guantanamo bay and his land to house US air bases. Now that America has removed Saddam Hussein and is instead focusing on stopping Iran from getting nuclear weapons, Kazakhstan is beginning to help them on that battlefront as well. In April

2010 he was invited to Washington and agreed to strengthen their aims to promote non-proliferation.

It is entirely cynical, but why would the western press try and encourage them to remove this dic-

tator who has been so supportive of the west, even though he has no mandate to be in office, allows corruption, torture and has seen his citizens to become prisoners of conscience.

SovPic

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ast year was defined by the Arab Spring, as people across the world started demanding their rights and independence from authoritarian government. The protests were fuelled mostly by the press’s regular coverage of the events which made a small protest in Tunisia spread to a worldwide movement. But not all protests against oppressive governments were reported with such intensity, the December Mangystau riots in Kazakhstan a clear example of this.

Dictator: he has been a long standing friend of the West

Zut Alors! The crisis of Hollande Ailbhe Rees bathimpact contributor rançois Hollande, recently elected Président of France, is not popular. After winning the election following his very successful campaign, this has come as a bit of a shock. His popularity is polling at 43 per cent. There are a number of reasons why: Firstly, Hollande’s campaign was entirely based on watching

FrancoisseHollande

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Sarkozy destroy his own. This was not difficult, as Sarkozy was so annoyed by the fact that his position was even being seriously contested (given the enormous economic challenges he had to face as Président) that he persistently made very non-presidential gaffes.

Secondly, Hollande’s campaign had no policies in it. Although this was highlighted by some commentators, most people were going to

Failure: Hollande is having a tough time

vote for Hollande just because they really disliked, or just distrusted, Sarkozy.

Thirdly, only now do people actually mind the fact that he has no policies. In the run-up to the election, Hollande only made a promise when he had to, or when he was publicly challenged by Sarkozy. But that’s not good enough now. Hollande has to make key decisions for one of Europe’s biggest players, and that can’t be done with no governmental policy behind it. This week’s budget shows a will to make decisions but is unlikely to save France from the grey economic future it is currently facing.

Finally, we should not forget, it started well. At the beginning, the darling boy of France had them around his little finger, charmed to the point of no return. He introduced a 75 per cent tax for the rich and halved his own salary; both positives with the people; even the rich largely saw it as necessary. Now though, people expect policies, a new strategy to beat the economic crisis; a plan for France.

And that’s where Hollande is falling short. The budget is just one exam-

ple. A plan, it is. France’s saviour?

Unlikely.

Perhaps the most perplexing thing about this is that it is now clear that a clown could probably have won the election, if he wasn’t Sarkozy. Even Boris Johnson would have had a fighting chance.

This French result should remind us that the run-up to the election, however nightmarish it may be, is a necessary part of politics and, in fact, democracy. We should take this opportunity to properly ask candidates what they intend to do,

“

Hollande’s campaign was based on watching Sarkozy destroy his own

”

and never let them get away with a soft answer. If they can’t answer questions about policy, then do we want them running anything? The American system may seem very public to the French, but when choosing a Président it is, perhaps, important to know exactly what you’re getting.

It would be easy to blame Hol-

lande. Why make life difficult for yourself; if your adversary insists on blowing his campaign up, it’s understandable that you will happily stand by and watch. But the candidate really ready for change, for leadership, won’t stand by and wait to win. If Hollande was as ambitious as we are told he is, he would have been telling people about his policies without even being asked. If he were as desperate to lead as we were led to believe, he wouldn’t have to shirk behind safe policies and salary cuts; he would lead real change and be ambitious in his goals.

The presidential election in France was hard-fought by many competitors. Nicolas Sarkozy has yet to announce his next move, and it has even been speculated that he could return to politics; the French centre-right has few likely candidates, and it may be that he stages his comeback in 2017.

Hollande’s presidential term is only 4 months old. There are so many years to go; we can only hope for the sake of France and the Eurozone, that Mr. Hollande has a secret plan to fight economic downfall.

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Monday 8th October 2012

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Ana Galiana Escritor de bathimpact En España dejáis a los toros sueltos por la calle cada domingo? Creo que esa fue la primera pregunta absurda y ridículamente graciosa que me hicieron sobre España al llegar a Bath. Una se imagina que los estereotipos irían a menos con todos los medios de comunicación de hoy en día. Pero no.

Para los curiosos, en España no tenemos una hora nacional para la siesta, no comemos solo paella ni bebemos sangría por defecto. No a todo el mundo torea como hobby y el invierno, al contrario de lo que piensan todos los extranjeros que vistan el país, existe. ¡No todo es sol y playa, os lo prometo! Aunque entiendo que la gente en general asuma que todos los españoles somos morenos (incluso tiene sentido, con todo el sol que nos da) algunos estamos mal hechos y rompemos los esquemas... y cuidado a todo español que no entre en el grupo de los morenos, ¡más de una vez tendréis que enseñar el D.N.I para demostrar que nos sois guiris encubiertos!

Pero no me malinterpretéis, no

Ana Galiana

Espana: tapas, sangria, sol y paro

¿

estoy diciendo que todos los estereotipos estén equivocados, de hecho muchas de las cosas que me han preguntado sobre España suelen estar basadas en alguna tradición, simplemente ligeramente exageradas. ¡A todo el mundo le gusta echarse una siesta de vez en cuando! Es en el momento en el que oyen por la calle que hablas español y te gritan ?¡Aaaarriba!? fingiendo que se qui-

tan un sombrero que cuando empiezas a perder la fe en la humanidad.

Pero no solo la gente que he conocido aquí tiene ideas desencaminadas sobre la cultura ajena. La percepción de muchos españoles sobre los ingleses también es diferente a la realidad; La convicción de que tomar el té a las cinco en Inglaterra es una costumbre sagrada o que todo inglés que se precie es ?hoo-

ligan? de algún equipo. Una pinta en la mano es un complemento obligatorio, por supuesto, y ‘fish and chips’ la comida por excelencia...

Bueno, en todo caso, la próxima vez que os acerquéis a algún español, no os penséis que va a llevar un chorizo en el bolso ni un capote a la espalda... ¡ No nombréis Benidorm como si fuese el orgullo del país y todo irá bien!

Bath is a remarkably diverse place. With around 140 nationalities represented and a legion of languages to go with this, the mix of people on campus creates a dynamic atmosphere many of us fail to notice.

It’s always easy to criticise groups different to our own, and nationally it seems we are living in times that constantly see the demonisation of those who come to our country to learn, live and work.

This unfounded criticism is based on fear of change and represents our most primitive nature. We have to overcome this and should always remember that our diversity is our greatest strength.

In an effort to encourage integration, bathimpact would like to introduce the refurbished World section. Through this we will allow you to write in your native tongue, be it Spanish or Mandarin, We hope you enjoy the new section and feel free to get involved.

If you have a language you want to write in contact us at impact-features@bath.ac.uk

“¡Me voy un momento al Bano!”

Escritor de bathimpact Roy Avaria describe sus experiencias primeras de Bath, y su desarollo en neustra cultura unica y estrena

R

rojos como langostas, requemados, que siguen todos los tópicos posibles que circulan sobre los ingleses.

El hecho de llegar a una prestigiosa institución educativa, y encontrarse con un paisaje casi idéntico al de Magalluf es bastante desconcertante. Estos malentendidos culturales son más comunes durante la primera semana, pero en realidad Flickr

esulta un tanto irónico que el primer contacto con una universidad británica sea Freshers’ Week, especialmente si vienes de España. Lo más seguro es que todos los ingleses que hayas visto en tu vida formen parte de esa “British invasion” que cada verano inunda nuestras costas, chiringuitos y discotecas. Grupos de borrachos,

Roy viajando en su pais maravilloso

no te abandonan nunca. El primer día de clases, al volver a la residencia, mis compañeros me recibieron muy ilusionados con un plato “español”: Chili con Carne. Un par de semanas después, me pidieron que probara una “auténtica paella española” (con chorizo incluido). Sus cualidades lingüísticas no suelen ser mucho mejores que las culinarias.

Una noche fui asaltado por un tipo muy alegre que proclamaba a todo aquel que le escuchara que sabía español. Tras cinco minutos hablando con él, descubrí que su vocabulario se limitaba a “cerveza”, “fiesta” y “chica guapa”.

Pese a todo, no sería justo convertir esto en una mera diatriba contra los ingleses. Debo reconocer que nunca me sentido mejor recibido que en el típico pub inglés. Tras múltiples noches de investigación y experimentos, he descubierto que la pinta es, simplemente, la medida perfecta para consumir cerveza.

Ronda tras ronda, sentado en un sillón calentito, el típico botellón español parece cosa de bárbaros incivilizados. Y qué decir de la sidra (o “cider”), esa bebida que en casa solo beben los abuelos y las bandas de

los pueblos en fiestas, pero que aquí en Bath se convierte en una sofisticada bebida de caballeros (o “lads”, como se les conoce generalmente).

Y es que Bath es una ciudad magnífica. Aunque seguramente lo único que hayas visto durante el primer mes sea el interior de Second Bridge, XL y demás; pronto te das cuenta (probablemente durante uno de tus numerosos “walks of shame”)

“

Bath es una ciudad magnífica

”

de lo bonita que es y porqué merece ser considerada Patrimonio de la Humanidad. Vengas de donde vengas en España, habrás oído dos estereotipos muy comunes hacia los ingleses: 1. Que son muy horteras (las sandalias con calcetines las inventaron ellos) y 2. Que no saben cocinar. Si traes a Bath a tu abuela, posiblemente se sorprenderá ante el gran número de boutiques y restaurantes, para todos los gustos y paladares (obviamente, ningún cocinero inglés será capaz de superar el cocido de tu querida yaya, pero

todos sabemos que eso es imposible de todas maneras).

Finalmente, hay una cuestión que no hemos tratado todavía y que, con toda seguridad, será la más llamativa si procedes de las tierras de Don Quijote: exacto, el tiempo.

Por alguna extraña razón, Dios odia a los ingleses, y les ha castigado con la peor conjunción de nubes, lluvia, frío, viento y niebla del mundo. Da igual los abrigos de piel de bisonte del Corte Inglés que te traigas; vas a pasarlo mal, vas a sufrir y (aunque terminarás aceptándolo) vas a maldecir el día en que elegiste Bath en lugar de quedarte con el solecito, la cervecita y la playita.

Es tan difícil resumir una experiencia como esta, la del primer año en Bath, que lo mejor es vivirla por ti mismo. Hay días malos, en los que preferirías estar bailando King Africa en una verbena que sufrir otra noche más de alcohol en cantidades industriales. Otras noches, en los que te sale la vena “latin lover” y empiezas a actuar como Antonio Banderas, y al final (sorprendentemente) triunfas; lo único que se te ocurre pensar es “ser un español en Baño no está pero que nada mal”.

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Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

World As part of our refurbishment of the international section, we have decided to introduce a travel section. This

www.bathimpact.com give you the chance to write about somewhere you have been, share your stories, and recommend the amazing plac-

es you’ve visited. Each week will have a theme, so keep an eye out on the Facebook features page and write for us.

This week: Travel and work

Ecuador: clinging onto its past A

s usual, the desperate, yet melodic, cries wake me up from my slumber, shortly followed by the sharp flash of light that sneaks through the gaps in my curtains. I reluctantly put my feet on the floor and drag myself to the window; below me is a myriad of colour, thousands of indigenous tradesmen, fruit-sellers and stall owners pleading with passers-by to buy their goods. In the distance is the snow-capped Cotopaxi, an active volcano which watches peacefully over the ancient city of Quito, Ecuador.

The city, for many travelers, is a pit stop on the way to the gorgeous jungles and beaches, as well as the iconic Galapagos Islands, but for me it was my home for around eight months. Known for being directly on the equator, and although there are plenty of tourist traps for curious visitors, the city is equally recognized for its vibrant and proud native culture and its old town, which in 1972 was named the first UNESCO World Heritage Site.

The British School of Quito kindly took me on to teach music in September 2011. Having travelled the six thousand miles to the city and

met my ‘Ecuadorian parents’, Cesar and Zoila, I entered a world completely unlike mine. The school was a bizarre clash of cultures in itself.

The kids were well versed in English, Spanish and, for some of the bursary kids, their native Quechua.

All the children knew the words of Jerusalem and God Save the Queen, but also El Chulla Quiteno and traditional songs. They celebrated St Georges Day but also Dia de los Disfuntos, a day defined by the traditional picnic by the graves of deceased loved ones.

I found myself teaching as much English as piano. I was often thrown into a class of twenty-five googlyeyed pre-teens who snickered at my every pronunciation of Spanish, especially when I lost it (which was often), turned bright red in the face and swore at them. Piano was more intimate. Whilst the slower younger kids would infuriate me, the teenagers would teach me so much. More often than not our hour long piano classes would end with us sneaking to the roof and lighting a spliff whilst watching the sun set over the urban sprawl.

Working was rewarding, but I lived for the weekends. This was my

opportunity to explore. To discover a people who have remained resistant for thousands of years. Otavalo, just north of Quito, is the oldest market town in South America and remains one of the most important. Women in full costume still sell cuy(guinea-pig) and yuca (a kind of root vegetable), and llamas still transport subsistence farmers goods to town. The coast, although constantly being littered with condos and cheesy ‘party towns’, is still a center of Afro-Hispanic living, with the smell of plantains and fried fish filling the beaches.

You can never understand a place until you have lived there.

There is far more to Ecuador than llamas and panpipes, but rather a culture defined by its years of colonization and an ancient history dating back centuries. There are the mannerisms you pick up on, the sense of humor that you live with and a warmth you embrace when you go to Ecuador. They’re a people who, reluctant to give up their past, are dealing with change as well as they can. When they change comes, they will adapt as they always have, never forgetting their proud Incan heritage.

Ben Butcher

bathimpact Features Editor Ben Butcher tell us about his time teaching in Ecuador and the important part culture plays in daily life

Ben midway through music making with his happy student

Working abroad: CV’s, friends and experiences bathimpact Editor-in-chief Rowan Emslie shares his career in East Africa but it did help to drive home the reality of such a situation. Now, at University, I’m studying about such

things with an eye to pursuing a career in international development.

A lot of people will tell you how Rowan Emslie

I

have spent almost 2 years working abroad in Uganda and Kenya. This was split between a variety of jobs: charity worker, reporter, human rights activist, market analyst and, briefly, a fabric salesman. Some of these were incredibly enjoyable, some were enormously boring. By the time I had finished my initial contract (as well as my savings) I was desperate to stay in East Africa no matter what I was actually doing.

I ended up in some strange locations and situations because of what I did end up doing, lots of them made my time there more interesting. I never thought I’d actually see a sweatshop, for instance, and would obviously never have sought one out as a tourist but while working I was compelled to go. It wasn’t pleasant

Rowan is rather unimpressed upon meeting the locals in Africa

much they love travelling. The spirit of adventure is particularly prevalent to University aged individuals and you’ll find yourself having numerous conversations about another exotic trip you or you’re friend has gone on in the next few years.

Going to different countries with different cultures is a fantastic thing and I urge you to do so.

Before you do, a word of advice: the absolute best way to discover a country is to work there. You’ll meet people of all ages with varied backgrounds rather than spending most of you time with other University aged people going travelling. This is probably the most enjoyable way to go out of your depth – have your new colleagues or housemates make all the decisions for a night or two (or more) and see what you end up

doing.

Beyond who you spend your time with and what you find yourself doing there are many other advantages and opportunities. Saying you have been to Bolivia is very different from working in Bolivia – ask your career advisor. When HR advisors spend a full day working through a pile of CVs for that job you’ve applied for, your reference from your old supervisor in Korea will catch their eye and maybe give you the edge.

Most importantly, some of my closest friends are East African. I am in touch with many people I met four years ago when I first went to Uganda. I suspect, somehow, if those people were a couple of other 18 year olds from South East England we’d have lost touch a long time ago.

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

17

Business

www.bathimpact.com

An interview with Theo Paphitis

bathimpact meets the Dragon at the opening of Boux Avenue TP: I was a very long-time overnight success. I did go to university; I went to the University of Life. I didn’t have the luxury of someone teaching me not to make the mistakes and that’s an important thing. Fifty per cent of small businesses fail in the first year.

Some struggle and people make mistakes. If we can improve that ratio by teaching, then if you take into account that 50 per cent of the

How would you say this store differs from other lingerie stores like La Senza and Ann Summers?

TP: This is totally different from La Senza. This is a very exquisite, very glamorous store. There is nothing like this ever anywhere in the UK. We are a one off.

Theo Paphitis

You didn’t go to university, but you achieved a lot in the business world when you were younger. With the current economic climate and pressure to get a degree, do you think you could do it again?

“

Quite honestly, follow your passion

”

UK GDP come from SME’s, then if only 30 per cent failed what would that do to the economy? So there is an education process that really is required. I had my reversals and my failures, it’s just I was very lucky they weren’t fatal. For some people they’re fatal. Education in business is really important and that’s something that needs to be taught whether its at university or school, but it does need to be taught.

But there is this idea of getting a degree just to have a

degree TP: Yes. Having a degree does not give you the God-given right for a job. Universities were the first port of call for the working for their children because it guaranteed them a white-collar job and a good living, well that doesn’t work anymore. So just to go to university because, is not right. What I still can’t get over is going to university and studying something, but then doing something completely different. It’s pointless. Work-based learning is very important because you’re learning about the subjects you are going to go on and do. University obviously has the technical place for things like sciences and it even has its place in business, because it can teach, but not everyone needs to go through that.

There is this very large retail recession going on at the moment. How are you planning to tackle that?

TP: Of course there is, but I’m not here for the one-year or the twoyear period. I’m not going to make money for three years. In fact, I’m going to lose a bundle for the first three years! This is an international brand that we’re building and I’m in it for the long-term.

The business will return and our

business will be established in a modern, efficient environment, so hopefully I’ll make a return.

You once said ‘there’s three reasons for going to work: money, have fun and not to forget to make money’. What do you mean by that?

TP: Well, forgetting to make money stops you from doing the rest of the stuff. It goes to that idea that

students on the back of university ask me: ‘Theo, I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?’ Quite honestly, follow your passion. Do what you enjoy. Yes, you need to make money, but if you don’t enjoy it you are, one, unlikely to be good at it and, two, making money out of it is going to get pretty boring. So follow your passion and no doubt you will make money out of it as well.

SamShort

Let’s start by giving you the chance to sell this store to the university students Theo Paphitis: The concept is that it’s all about you. It’s all about the customer, it’s all about the experience, it’s all about making you feel good. There’s three reasons to go shopping: the experience, the product and making you feel good.

There’s no reason a girl should be buying her lingerie reluctantly.

It’s a very important part of your clothing and if your lingerie feels good, you feel good. You’re going to feel confident, and that’s what it’s all about.

Theo and Ben air out their dirty laundry in public

Beating the crash: British car boom

W

increasing wealth in foreign countries and significant private sector investment, manufacturing is beginning to rise once again. For example, Mini, Range Rover and Jaguar are seeing increases in production after an investment of £6 billion of predominantly private money was poured into research and development of new models, as well as improvements of factories and production techniques.

Government proposals could see

up to £150 billion invested into R&D over the next 20 years and tax reforms could lead to an additional £390 million of R&D investment each year, generating output of £665 million. A report from the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders (SMMT) predicts that vehicle production will rise by 9 per cent each year and by 2016 will be as high as 2.2 million cars per year, exceeding the record production level of 1.92 million cars

Landrovermena

Alex Marshall bathimpact contributor e are constantly hearing in the news about how numerous UK car manufacturers are laying off thousands of workers as a result of falling demand for British made cars, and the increasingly attractive alternative of foreign manufacturers whom posses highly skilled and cheap labour. However, this could all be set to change as the UK is becoming the car production capital of Europe, and is already supplying more cars to high-growth nonEU countries than any other European nation.

Just a few years ago, UK car manufacturing was on the brink of collapse due to the global impact of the recession. Manufacturers struggled to obtain credit and consumers saw their incomes drop and as a result, the demand for cars decreased, leading to plants shutting down and workers being made redundant.

Thanks to improving domestic and foreign economic conditions,

Vroom: the car industry is finding new life

achieved in 1972.

The Paris motor show was host to the pre-launch of “the most important car in 50 years of Jaguar” according to Jaguar’s global brand director Adrian Hallmark. The Ftype is built with the spirit of its predecessor, the E-type, considered to be one of the most beautiful cars ever made. The production of the F-type is not only creating 1000 jobs at Jaguar’s Castle Bromwich plant, but also provides encouragement and motivation for other UK firms to begin investing into their R&D departments to stimulate their own production through innovations. McLaren Automotive has also unveiled its latest supercar, the McLaren P1. At £800,000, this flagship model is hardly an appeal to the mass market; however, there are rumours of a Porsche 911 rivaling McLaren, estimated to be a tenth of the price of the P1 that is expected in the next couple of years.

A report by the SMMT suggests however, that the UK is experiencing a shortage of skilled workers,

specifically among electrical and software engineers, and as a result, the high levels of predicted growth could be difficult to achieve. UK visa restrictions are one of the causes for the lack of skilled labour. Developing economies such China, India and Russia offer high quality, well-educated graduates, many of whom seek work in the UK. Unfortunately, visa restrictions make it difficult for these graduates to work in the UK and consequently, UK firms miss out on the skills and innovation that foreign workers can offer, and this could result in the outsourcing of manufacturing to foreign countries, such as those in Asia or Eastern Europe, as we have previously seen.

Whether we will observe the growth levels that have been forecasted, or we see a repeat of previous years in which UK firms are forced to outsource, one thing for sure is that we should see some incredible innovations and technologies being released into the market within the next few years.

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

19

Business

www.bathimpact.com

Mitt-igating circumstances Economics of...

Pornography!

I

Clueless: his policies are unlikely to help much

idea given that America’s national debt is ballooning.

However, Romney has stated that bringing America’s fiscal health back in order is also a priority of his. Romney has justified his tax plans by saying that the cost (estimated to be around $350bn to $500bn a year) will be met by closing tax loopholes. If this were possible, then it would certainly be both an efficient and productive plan. However, Romney has done little to specify which loopholes he will eliminate and by how much, which prompted Bill Clinton to ridicule this plan mimicking, “See me about that after the election”. Furthermore, Romney preaches prudent government spending, but intends to increase spending on defence by a staggering $100 billion, even though the US already accounts for almost 60 per cent of defence expenditure of the top 10 military spenders.

Romney’s overall fiscal plan is to reduce government spending from nearly 25 per cent to under 20 per cent within 4 years; this seems entirely implausible.

Overall, it seems that a Romney economy offers ideals that may sound attractive to many businesses; lower taxes, restrained government and lower taxes. But scratch beneath the surface, and you realise that it is a plan that fails to put ordinary Americans first.

Daphne Karezi bathimpact contributor he OCW initiative began with MIT’s decision in October 2002 to ‘open’ their classrooms for free to students all over the world in the form of online courses.

This prompted other respectable institutions, among them Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Stanford and Columbia to follow suit in offering online education platforms. The initiative has now reached over 200 universities across the world.

There are numerous examples of the growth of online education projects. In late 2009, Salman Kahn, an MIT graduate, quit his hedge fund job to teach through online education channels such as Youtube, eventually building Khan Academy. Coursera is a more university-based example of an online education platform, created by top academic institutions Princeton, UPenn, Michigan and Stanford, collating material from all four universities to create courses specifically designed for Internet use. More recently, Harvard and MIT announced that they are joining forces, setting aside $60M to build EdX, a revolutionary platform

ate a place where everyone can guide their own learning” and their mission is to “provide high quality educational material to everyone, everywhere”.

They plan to expand the concept by reaching out to universities in order to increase their online courses, as well as including material for A-levels and Baccalaureate preparation.

The OCW movement is clearly developing at a fast pace in universities on the other side of the Atlantic. Unfortunately, the UK seems to be falling behind. Oxford University is perhaps the only notable exception, having recently released its own online classes.

In fact, the Open Academy currently offers all 8 Oxford courses online.

However, what Oxford offers is small compared to the over 40 courses made available by MIT and Yale. It is perhaps time for strong UK institutions, with their high quality courses and lecturers, to join the movement with their US counterparts in order to create a truly revolutionary educational system through the internet. This will enable billions of people of all ages, academic backgrounds and income levels to gain access to the high quality education such institutions offer.

Mnassal

shop in the US. In the early years of George W Bush’s presidency, he implemented temporary tax cuts, which are yet to expire. Romney, therefore, aims to make these permanent.

The key dividing line here is that Obama will make these cuts permanent only for those with an income of up to $250,000. Romney’s rationale is that keeping tax rates low will stimulate entrepreneurship. However, it is doubtful as to whether this would really happen. These tax rates have been in place for about a decade and have not really been an engine for growth. It is also worth adding that these tax cuts helped produce a budget deficit after Bill Clinton left the presidency with a surplus.

Hence, this may not be the wisest

The online graduates T

whose sole goal is to “educate 1 billion people around the world”. Such prominent examples have given a clear indication that the ways in which people are learning is changing.

A new addition to the movement is The Open Academy (theopenacademy.com), a user-friendly website that has creatively put together a wide range of lecture material including videos, slides, exercises and even practice exams. It hosts more than 6000 classes, 260 full academic courses and represents over 20 of the world’s top universities. The site covers all academic disciplines, with courses in Science, Mathematics, Engineering, Law, Arts, Medicine, Social Sciences and the Humanities, including introductory, intermediate and advanced level courses. It also offers its visitors the ability to register, albeit not necessary for viewing the material, in order to create an academic community within the site with Q&A, collective discussion of assignments and academic debate.

The creators of The Open Academy are a group of students studying in both the UK and the US. As stated on their website, their vision is to “cre-

T

he internet is a beautiful thing. Type into your Google search bar ‘Asian takeaway’ and you will find all kinds of wonderful, often confusing things. Look to buy a copy of ‘Men in Black’, and expect the top search to be ‘Men in Blacks’, a fine compilation of German ebony porn. Sex is sold absolutely everywhere; through advertising, through clothing, but none more so than through the medium of pornography.

Hard-core video pornography really took off in the 1970’s with the invention of accessible VHS, sexually liberated hippies and, perhaps most importantly, the funk guitar.

By the end of 1970’s it was estimated that porn was worth little more than $10m in the United States. Forty years later, the porn industry is said to rake in $13bn a year.

On the outside, we may assume that porn is a simple, easy to understand industry with the only entry requirements being a finely trimmed moustache, a set of surgically altered breasts and an ability to swallow.

But in reality, the business is a quite wonderful example of an industry willing to embrace change, something that led to its massive profit boom in the late nineties and its enormous market reach. The internet meant shy, aloof teenagers like myself, could treat our hormonal desires without the embarrassment of visiting a shop, and meant that customers could discover a wider range of products at the click of the mouse (‘you enjoyed Latina maids?

Perhaps you’d like Persian housewives?’). Statistics suggest that 72 per cent of companies are investing in new technology, so perhaps it is unsurprising that DVD rentals and purchases decreased from $3.62bn to $1.81bn between 2006 and 2009, whilst the internet saw a growth from $1.8bn to $4.9bn.

But, like the music and film industry before it, pornography is at a

crossroads. Porn tycoon, and personal hero, Steven Hirsh claimed that ‘between the DVD sales, the piracy, the free porn online and the economy. I’ve never seen it this bad in 25 years in the business’. Although masturbation is a necessity, paying for porn is not, so the recession inevitably hit the porn industry hard. And when there are so many free websites with the same product why would you dish out a £25-amonth membership fee to Brazzers? In 2009, DVD sales dropped 30 per cent, a fair statistic considering the internet’s transition as the key pornography provider, but payper-view also dropped a whopping 50 per cent. Even porn stars have seen a 30 per cent wage drop.

What remains then for the industry? Firstly, the sex thirsty customer base, even if they’re not paying. YouPorn, a free porn streaming website, is the seventeenth most popular website in Germany and receives 13.7m hits a month. A porn film is still made every thirty seconds in the United States, so next time you’re in a lecture just remember that at least eight people have been laid in that time. Our desire for smut is not disappearing and although technology has led to its downfall, it has also further opened moneymaking markets. Between 2008 and 2013 we can expect to see a 75 per cent increase in profits made from handheld devices and the tearing down of virtual walls means that the handful of countries where porn is still illegal could soon be open for business, including China with its six-hundred and fifty million todgers.

Porn is facing a tough time, but by no means does it mean that we will stop peeling the cucumber anytime soon. Just remember that the next time you visit XVideos and watch Japanese fetish, you’re putting another ‘aspiring actress’ out of a job.

Zoot

Aran Gnana bathimpact contributor n the first issue I concluded that Obama was struggling, but only due to the monstrous debt he inherited from Bush. In this issue, I explore Romney’s alternatives.

Much of Romney’s economic plans revolve around reducing taxes. One of his key proposals is to reduce the corporation tax rate that businesses pay from 35 per cent to 25 per cent. In an era of globalisation where firms are willing to relocate at an instant in order to keep costs to a minimum, reflected by the fact that between 2001 and 2008, 2.4 million manufacturing jobs were lost to China, this would arguably be a measure that would attract firms to set up

Wanker-chief: another business affected by porn

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Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Science

www.bathimpact.com

Is this really the end of our world?

Holly Narey bathimpact contributor

HollyNarey

The headlines scream apocalypse. Seas are rising, the climate is changing, and the earth is facing a mass extinction at our hands. Our plates will be bare, our water foul and we will lose the very air from our lungs. The media is, by nature, sensationalist, so while taking the information from these articles we must ask ourselves seriously; would all of this mean the end of

our world?

A new study has recently been released stating that pollution and climate change is already causing the death of millions every year.

This is not the basis of a futuristic dystopian fantasy novel; it is a reality that many are facing every day, just not one that we as a country are exposed to. We begin with a gentler climate, and on top of that we have our flood walls, levees, and our insurance. Our access to imports al-

Jungles like the one that Holly is wandering through are at risk

lows us to continue to find all of our favourite items on supermarket shelves even when local agriculture has been devastated. We live in a place that is lucky enough to have the stability to bounce back from inconveniences like the floods of the last few weeks. Unfortunately, as we well know, this is not the case for many countries. Those who will feel the bite of climate change keenest will be among those who have contributed to it the least, those without the technology or the infrastructure to handle the challenges that we are all going to face.

Studies have concluded that climate change will lead to even bigger income differences both between and within countries, and while that is not really a surprise, the shocking part is that they have concluded that while an increase in global mean temperature from 1990 levels, (even a change less than 2°C), would have a negative effect on the markets of developing countries, it could have a positive impact on the markets of many developed countries. These benefits would come from new opportunities, warmer climates would allow for increased agriculture, and new

trading and shipping routes would be opened across a less-inhospitable arctic ocean. People in these countries may benefit from lower heating and possibly electricity costs, thanks to reduced costs for the oil and gas industry. Countries with generally cooler climates will be more likely to benefit, and those with hotter climates will suffer, especially in terms of water supplies and arable land.

Most other studies have found that the overall cost of climate change will outweigh any possible benefits. One of these studies, car-

1.4 degrees

Amount world temperature has risen since 19th Century (National Geographic)

ried out by the DARA group, has predicted that the cost of climate change and air pollution will have risen to 3.2 per cent of global GDP from the 1.6 per cent current annual loss. Developing countries are expected to experience the worst of this; up to 11 per cent of their GDP will be lost to climate change, and

they will suffer the worst of the death toll at the hands of our ever more unpredictable environment, currently at around four hundred thousand people a year and counting (a further four and a half million are dying as a result of air pollution).

Despite all of the evidence there are still sceptics, either of the phenomena of climate change as a whole or of man’s influence upon it – this can be clearly seen from the all-out war occurring in America between Republican sceptics in Congress and green activists who want to displace them from their seats. No matter what the cause, the world is changing, seas will rise and weather will become more unpredictable. Global temperatures have already risen by 1.4°C since the end of the 19th century, according to National Geographic, and this year the arctic sea ice has melted to record levels. The effect on many countries may be negligible, but for many others it will be extreme, so we can comfortably conclude from our sofas that, worst case scenarios notwithstanding, climate change will not herald the end of our world.

Others will not be so lucky.

Bath’s very own Prof. ‘Dark’ Knight

He may not fight crime, but he does fight the limits of scientific progress. bathimpact contributor Simon O’Kane looks at his work see lasers in the air.)

Professor Knight said: “The University of Bath has a track record of generating world-leading research in the field of novel optical fibres, and this award is recognition of that strength.”

Photonic crystal fibres are differ-

“

Bath has a track-record of generating worldleading research

”

ent in that there is only one type of glass; the cladding is formed by microscopic holes, arranged in a regular pattern in the glass, which lowers the effective index of the cladding region compared to the core, which has no holes. The cladding region is called a photonic crystal because the regions of different refractive index are arranged in a regular, periodic pattern, just like atoms in a regular crystal.

There are both similarities and differences between the properties of photonic crystal fibres and normal optical fibres. Things get even more interesting when the intensity of the

light becomes so great that the refractive index actually starts to change with wavelength, opening up a new field of physics called nonlinear optics.

One of the many consequences of nonlinear optics is supercontinuum generation, where a pulse of light consisting of a very narrow range of wavelengths (i.e. colours), such as that emitted by a laser, is very quickly converted into a wide range of wavelengths. Although this has already been demonstrated many times in photonic crystal fibres and other media, the team from Bath have broken new ground in this enterprise.

Professor Knight, along with fellow lecturers Dr. Peter Mosley and Dr. William Wadsworth and postdoctoral researchers Dr. Lucy Hooper and Dr. Alistair Muir, have used a 4cm long photonic crystal fibre to demonstrate the ability to convert an infrared laser pulse into a spectrum that has a bandwidth of 200nm but remains a single pulse of light, all of it arriving at the detector within 2.6 x 10-14 seconds (basically, no time at all).

The short duration of the pulse means it retains the coherence that

it had from being emitted by a laser. When a laser emits, all of the light waves are emitted at exactly the same time; this is not true of most light sources. Back in 2008 Professor Knight and his then PhD student James Stone achieved a supercon-

tinuum spanning the entire visible spectrum using a similar infrared laser. However, the coherence of the pulse is a new achievement; the paper on the subject in open-access journal Optics Express has already been cited 18 times.

Bath

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rofessor Jonathan Knight, head of the University of Bath’s Department of Physics, has been awarded the Institute of Physics Optics and Photonics Division Prize 2012 for his work on supercontinuum generation in photonic crystal fibres.

This is something of a mouthful, so I’m going to break it up into bite size chunks for you lucky readers.

Normal optical fibres consist of two types of glass: a central core surrounded by a cladding. The core has slightly different physical properties, the refractive index, which means light travels slower in the core than in the cladding. This traps light in the core via total internal reflection, which some of you may remember from high school. The trapped light bounces all the way along the fibre, because it has nowhere else to go.

If you’ve ever seen one of those fountains where the stream of water is lit up, they work using exactly the same principle; water has a higher refractive index than air, trapping light in the water. In fact, the only reason you see the light is because the water molecules also scatter light out of the fountain. (This explains how you can

The caped crusader of optical fibres and scientific ignorance

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Bendy batteries breakthrough T

“

In a few years we could practically be weaving batteries into fabric

”

ard lithium battery we have in our current phones however has been

the largest barrier, but a new cable design lithium ion battery can be twisted and knotted into any shape you please.

This doesn’t just mean your new phone can potentially throw some shapes. Previously, the solid rectangular design has been a bulky inconvenience in the ever-slimming chassis of the modern smartphone.

With a cable design however, you can bend and squeeze the battery around the rest of the components to fit in as much as possible, in as small a space as possible. So we’re talking even thinner phones, and even more power. That, however, is just looking at the new design from the perspective of the smartphone market. The wire design is so flexible and thin that in a few years time we could potentially be weaving batteries into fabrics. iPod low on battery? Charge it up from your T-Shirt.

If you’re into the really techy side of affairs, the step forward has been

done with strands of copper wire coated in nickel-tin. These strands can be made into a metal yarn, to be wrapped around a rod. When you remove the rod, you’re left with a strong spring, which can flex and bend as much as is necessary. This is exactly what gives it the edge over other attempts at making lighter, thinner batteries, which generally result in a fixed cylindrical or prismatic shape.

Obviously, this is the cutting edge of modern development, and

Samsungtomorrow

Science

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Alex Marshall bathimpact contributor he dream of the world’s first flexible smartphone may just be coming to fruition, and LG are leading the charge with the invention of the revolutionary flexible battery. It doesn’t appear to be an enormously exciting development on face value, but this has been a sticking point at the forefront of mobile technology for years. Flexible glass, casing, even flexible touchscreens are already well within the grasp of modern technology, Samsung showcased the technology with a concept phone dubbed the Galaxy Skin. The stand-

21

2017

The year LG hopes for mass production

we won’t be seeing the new designs in devices anytime soon, but LG is hoping for mass production by 2017, with crazier ideas – such as wearable battery boosters and smart-clothes with interwoven batteries – hopefully coming along not too long after.

Will you soon be able to bend this into a tiny space in your pocket?

Professor Science: Space Fridge H

physicists upon our sterilised, whitewashed alters of “science”), which is why if you reach round the back the fridge seems warm. Now we come to the tricky bit.

Due to a combination of the laws of thermodynamics and entropy, the warmth out the back is going to be greater than the cold within the fridge. This is simply due to efficiencies – the process of cooling the inside of the fridge can only be conceivably 100 per cent which would be a net zero temperature change if you left the door open for a long time.

However, this is not possible at all – the highest efficiency of a heat pump (read refrigerator) is the Carnot efficiency – a lovely little formula for the DariusGilani

ere at my lab, I receive emails from all manner of laymen, questions about science due to my status as the agony aunt of the entire scientific community. One of the most common subjects is that related to kitchen appliances which people use every day but do not understand. As such I have decided to address the matter of confused refrigerator users.

Fridges make things colder by literally “chilling” the inhabitants of the refrigerator. They whisper dark things to the food about what will happen to them once the perceived saviours (i.e. us) open the door to remove them. Now to do this they use demonic powers (channelled by

An artist’s impression of the superfridge

highest possible (yet still practically unachievable) efficiency of our heat pump.

So therefore if you leave the fridge door open the little motor inside it essentially just turns into an energy wasting heater!

Ah, you interrupt, so then surely we could counter global warming by pointing a whole load of fridges away from something that needs warming and then just cool the outside? Let us see!

Since 1880 the globe has warmed 1.4 degrees Celsius according to National Geographic.

So let us build a fridge that will point the cold side inwards and the warm side outwards – let’s say a fridge satellite (I’ve heard that space is fairly cold). And of course let us ignore all the things like the shape of the world etc. that cause this to be an “estimate” (science term).

There is around 5000 trillion tonnes of air in the world that needs to be cooled down by 1.4 degrees in this very simple idea. Using very bad science and a slew of estimates, let us say that 1 joule of energy is needed to reduce the temperature of 1 gram of air by 1 degree. As such we need to remove 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Joules of Heat energy from the atmosphere. I cannot find a definitive average temperature for the world so let us pick a day when the average temperature is a comfortable room temperature of 22 degrees Celsius.

DariiusGGaliani

How could it possibly get warmer if you leave the fridge open?

Professor science hard at work working out difficult science-y stuff And let us put the hot bit of Jake the satellite fridge in the very coldest part of all space making it 2.7 Kelvin.

This is such an extremely large temperature difference that it is not *too* silly to give our fridge an efficiency of 1. As such it would need to be supplied with all those zeroes of energy quoted above in order to move the heat from our atmospheric reservoir to space.

If we connected it to the largest nuclear power station we have ever made which has an output of 8212 kiloWatts giving 700,000,000,000,000 Joules per day. The keen eyed among you will notice that this will take 27 thousand years to reverse global warming. This might not work. Let

us say that we need a reasonable time scale in which to stop Al Gore’s rampaging do-gooder hard-on. Thirteen years sounds reasonable. Every power plant on the planet outputs 150 pWh a year which would mean that in 13 years the combined output of every single power plant on the planet could, in theory (let’s assume perfect conducting wires etc. obviously!), reverse global warming. Add a year due to the global warming we produce running all our power plants and here you have our viable global warming ending fridge!

Do you have a question for Professor Science? Contact impact-features@bath.ac.uk

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Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Activities

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SU Officers: a word on our community Our SU Officers discuss getting involved in your local neighbourhood cial behaviour and it is vital that our actions do not allow this to be the case.

The benefits of being a part of the local community are significant. From your next door neighbour offering help when you want to know what day to put your rubbish out, to being more considerate if you have friends around before going out.

Look out for the Student Community Partnership visiting your house this week to let you know how you can get involved and

very rewarding experience.

In order for this to be the case it is vital that we represent the University well and that includes respecting our neighbours and thinking about the consequences of our actions. A great example of this is that our student golf club being reliant on the local golf club. Every year this is put at

risk by students trespassing onto the course behind the University and occasionally being guilty of theft. Not only is this a criminal offence but it has negative consequences on fellow students.

This all leads us to the ultimate point. It is quite simple. In order to be considered a part of the community and win our chal-

lenge against these shared housing restrictions, we must demonstrate why we should be valued by our neighbours. This includes keeping our gardens tidy, being courteous to our neighbours, and even helping out in our area when we can. Then we truly can claim to be a part of the community.

SU

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tudents are a valuable part of the local community.

It is something which the Students’ Union repeats over and over again. It is important that this is the case, not just so we are respected and listened to, but so that as students we can make the transition into being adults.

Every year the behaviour of a very small minority of students puts this in to doubt. Already this year I have received a number of complaints from both students and other members of our local community about the action of this small minority. Through the Students Community Partnership we seek to welcome students into the community, these actions only do the opposite.

This is especially important at the current time with our campaign against the restrictions on shared housing. Those who support the legislation will have a far stronger case to make if they can hold up instances of antiso-

“

We must demonstrate why we should be valued

�

find out about local campaigns and events. It does run further than this, with the chance to give something back to the local community through our volunteering groups, which can prove to be a

The Student Union Officers encourage the integration of Bath students into the local community

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

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Activities

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Terri Parkin SCA Publicity Officer s you probably know your Students’ Union works really hard throughout the year to give all students a fun and positive experience, but that’s not all they do. Student Community Action (SCA) is a student-led society within the SU whose aim is to give something back to the community as well as support a range of charities by taking part in local, national and international projects. With the support of the Volunteer Centre we coordinate anything from small-scale endeavours, such as the annual Children’s Christmas Party, to providing amazing opportunities for students to participate in volunteer work abroad. Below are just some of the schemes we organise!

Romania Aid Trip – You could be part of a group of volunteers working in two orphanages in Romania!

This worthwhile cause provides the opportunity for participants to immerse themselves in Romanian Culture, see the country (yes, you’re free to travel for as little or as long as you like!), and most importantly provide much-needed love and attention to the orphans. We also run trips to Bulgaria.

School Tutoring – If you enjoy working with children or would like to see what it’s really like to be

A

Helping hand: the work they perform is invaluable a teacher then try volunteering as a classroom assistant once a week in a primary school, and get this, even receive a certificate at the end! This role also involves a small amount of training on the School Tutor Scheme which can help boost your CV. Julian House – A local charity that provides services for the homeless. There are many ways to get involved, including helping out at the Night Shelter or taking part in the Meaningful Occupation Project which offers clients the opportunity to access courses and activities typically unavailable to them.

Sirius Woods Conservation Project/Pro Experience – Got a passion for the environment? Then be a part of the Woodland Trust’s Tra-

falgar Woods project where you can help with the creation of new woodland areas, or spend a week on a residential volunteering exercise in the Brecon Beacons doing conservation work with The National Trust (Pro Experience).

Mencap Sports Group/Out and About – Like sport? Want to make a difference in people’s lives doing something you enjoy? The Mencap Sports Group could be the project for you! Get involved in implementing a variety of sports projects for people with learning difficulties, or if you’re more laid back why not join the Mencap Out and About Club where you can help provide social and leisure activities for disabled/ disadvantaged members of society?

ers week and is still available from MusicSoc, as well as one copy being handed over to URB – this means that University of Bath MusicSoc bands will be played out across the airwaves soon! Finally, the plans for a MusicSoc SoundCloud account will mean that any venue or pro-

moter looking for a band (and we have already been approached by several) can go to one place, choose the sound and style they want, and get in touch with a band that has been set up through the simple medium of social networking and late night jam sessions.

Musical appreciation Sally Williamson MusicSoc Events Manager

One of the main reasons for the existence of a music society is, of course, musicians. Guitarists, drummers, bassists, keyboardists; the lot have added their presence to the MusicSoc group over the years, and this has become a catalyst for the formation of many of what can only be described as Absolutely Top Bands. The stars of the MusicSoc Committees of the past have done their best to create opportunities for these bands, with concerts, competitions, and just about anything to get them beyond the eternal garage jam phase. The achievements of this year represent a culmination of these targets; thanks to the music production aspect of the society, a number of bands have had their tracks recorded and mastered, and as well as the individual EPs of the bands floating around, a compilation of these tracks has been brought together to make an absolute triumph of a mix tape (forget the 21st Century – mix tape sounds much better than mix CD!) This mix tape was handed out during fresh-

MusicSoc

champions. Up to 10 people go on the pitch with the same amount of wheels; two teams enter, one team leaves – and the other team leaves defeated. It’s certainly something to see; people with more balance than sense charging around waving sticks.

It’ll be every second Sunday of the month, 12 ‘til 2 in the Founders hall. It should be free to watch, with a small fee to players to cover hall hire costs, but unicycles and sticks are provided. If you can go in a straight line with the right amount of wheels without falling off, then come and play!

Calling all pyros: Has the Glow gone from your life? Do you need to be kindled anew? Has your Flame gone out? Are you no longer in Heat? Then come down to the lake on Wednesday evening! We will be playing with fire 7-9, paraffin provided!* Scared of getting burned? Sit by the side and enjoy the glow of the fire in the amphitheatre, as you play with glowy toys. Its always fun.

Note: We are the only society allowed in the lake, conditions apply. Join our Facebook group for any updates on fire and unicycle hockey. *Weather permitting. Only members can play with fire.

GravityVomit

Josh Farmer Chair of Gravity Vomit It’s never expected. Naturally, playing with your balls in public is bound to gain a crowd; it’s not something people see everyday, and it fascinates people. You think you’re doing fairly well, as someone with a funny moustache is silently nodding their head at the back, and you think about maybe changing it up a bit – doing something more impressive. But then, it happens; your balls drop. The crowd flinches when they see it. Sometimes they pretend they didn’t notice, and you can keep on juggling; just carry on like nothing happened. Most people don’t mind, as it’s still quite the performance. …Wait, what were you thinking about?

Twice a week, we meet up in the arts barn for a juggle. It’s a social get together with cake and fun, where we play with toys for two hours. Come and join in!

We have members who can flash nine balls (cheeky) and people who can just about manage two. We can show you how to spin poi and plates, ride unicycles and pedal-gos, catch diablos and juggling balls. No ‘skillz’ required; just pick it up and have a go!

Unicycle hockey starts up again this week, and it is truly the game of

SCA

Balls dropped SCA: it’s all action!

You could get on the stage, instead of being in front of it...

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Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

Activities

www.bathimpact.com

Going off with a bang BUST at Fringe cieties of the University. The annual display, sponsored by Bath Building Society, is expected to attract around 10,000 people.

Alan Keeling, the Chairman of the Fireworks Committee at the Rotary Club of Bath, comments: “The collaboration between the Rotary Club and the University of Bath Students’ Union brought excellent results last year and we have decided to continue with this intergeneration project. The display is a unique event which is looked forward to by children and adults in Bath.” Jonathan Cook, Community and Retail Operations Manager at Bayasaa

Sally Williamson RAG Event Manager Saturday 3rd November will see one of the biggest events of the year for the University RAG (Raise and Give) – their annual fireworks display. This year, much the same as last year, will bring an event worked on jointly with the Rotary Club of Bath, with months of planning culminating in what is sure to be a dazzling show on Bath Recreation Ground. As with last year’s display, there will be an explosive display of fireworks and music, but this year will also bring exciting performances from some of the so-

Bath Building Society, the display’s headline sponsor, says: “The annual fireworks display is a fantastic opportunity to bring the people of Bath together.”

Last year worked really well and by working together with the Rotary Club we raised thousands for local charities. The firework display truly engages everyone in the community and we are thrilled to be involved again in this important local event.

The main charity for the evening is the Peggy Dodd centre in Bath, a local organisation that works with Alzheimer’s and Dementia sufferers. Other charities benefiting will be RAG’s Big Four; Dorothy House, RUH Forever Friends Appeal, Mentoring Plus, and Sue Ryder Care.

Tickets go on sale from 1st October from branch offices of Bath Building Society; Bath Rugby Ticket Office (www.bathrugby.com/tickets); and eventually from the University of Bath campus and Bath Spa campus.

Tickets cost £5 for adults, though there is a discounted price for students, for a night of fireworks, food outlets, and fantastic student-driven performances!

Eleanor Porill BUST Chair

This year, Bath University Student Theatre took on the largest arts’ festival in the world, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, performing from the 1st to the 12th of August!

The atmosphere in Edinburgh was electric, and the sheer number of shows was staggering. We spent many a day on the Royal Mile perfecting our flyering techniques (watch out Parade!) and managed to secure both a good audience and positive reviews for both shows. There were also endless opportunities to sample the Fringe ourselves around the city, and in our spare time we saw an impressive number of theatre, comedy and musical shows, as well as getting the chance to do some serious Scottish Country Dancing!

The stunning venue of Theatre 1 at Surgeons’ Hall played host to our shows ‘Mod Girl’ and ‘Practice, Memory and Song’ directed and written by Ian Lerch and Laura Cunliffe respectively.

Ian Lerch’s “Mod Girl”, was a dark melodrama about a young widower and a child prostitute. This was the

first time the show had been performed, being described by reviewers as “intriguing” (Mel Melville) and “hypnotic” (Karl Dando), and succeeded in shocking to the very end.

“Practice, Memory and Song”,

by Jon Greenwell and Laura Cunliffe, was written to give an insight into the mind of a writer as they take up a pen, described as being ‘an exciting and well put together piece of work. There is some future talent to watch out for here, and their fresh and challenging theatre making puts [BUST] in an exciting position, watch this space!’ (Leigh Johnstone) Experiencing the festival for ten days was unforgettable, and will definitely be something that we as a society will aim to do each year.

This is the start of another exciting year for BUST; our first production ‘The Danny Crowe Show’ starts on the 12th of October, and our first workshop will be on Wednesday the 3rd of October in 3WN3.7 from 20:00-22:00. Come along and get involved, and look out for auditions in October!

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact

25

Sport

www.bathimpact.com

Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter t is a strange headline I know and probably not the best for a first ever article, but all will be revealed in good time. The idea for this article came to me from an experience I suffered about eighteen months ago during a game of Rugby.

It was a pre-season encounter between Jersey Colts and Petersfield. We had the game won and it was down to the last few unimportant moments. The ball had been kicked up into the air and had plummeted back down to earth with such velocity that it made the Petersfield winger shit his pants and run in the opposite direction. I saw the opportunity.

I sprinted for that open ball like any decent blindside would have done. Unbeknown to me three other players had the same idea and charged towards the ball. We all met at exactly the same place at exactly the same moment causing a gargantuan collision as the three other protagonists of this story bounced off my head. I was the only one left standing, but the only one who couldn’t remember his middle name.

After that, I went to see the club doctor who recommended I stayed off sport for a week. Foolishly, I listened to her and was back playing the game I love in no time. Less than a month later I was back dribbling with the same injury from another head collision, this time

I

solely from one of my own players.

This turned out to be a regular occurrence for me and no less than four concussions later, I find myself writing this article.

For those who don’t know concussion is very funny for the innocent bystander as the victim comes out with the most fascinating drool about why trees should be pink or why birds don’t sing U2 or they mix up the letters of words and so claim to have ‘drain brammage’.

For the victim themselves, it is like the worst hangover you have ever had, day after day after day.

The effects are not completely desirable around exam time either and I count my lucky stars that I’m here and not at UWE. Despite this, I couldn’t fight the urge to play sport. I would still go to the gym or go to training even though it made me mad. So this led me to think: ‘Why do we spay plort?’

It is a complex question. Somewhat unscientifically, I decided to wander around Wolfson Level 4 in an attempt to answer it. So I went round cunningly slipping in my question into the general conversation and surprisingly I got some pretty decent answers. Most of the answers mentioned the social; sport is the best way to meet new people, people who you will befriend for life, people who actually share something decent in common with you rather than the fact that they get in your way when you’re trying to cook dinner. Some

guffeyGF

So tell me, why do we spay plort?

Heavy contact: seems like fun at the time but could have more serious consequences people like to play sport so they can eat whatever the fuck they like and justify it. Others see it more as an ‘emotional escape’, a chance to get away from the hustle and bustle of exams, work or a girlfriend. Some people do it because they want to do it as their career, but these people are freaks. Some people do it to keep fit.

These are all valid reasons and

are great ways to get into sport.

But the answer I got most was: ‘cos I enjoy it’. This was the answer I would have given too. Sport is fun!

You may have not had a good experience in your sporting career thus far but that doesn’t mean you won’t like another sport. Exercise releases endorphins which are proven to make you happy. There are over forty-eight sport clubs at

Bath, why not give one of them a try? They cater for all abilities, so even if you do have two left feet for eyes, they will still accept you (though they may stop letting you come after one or two sessions) and then you could be part of the wonderful world of sport. Who knows, maybe you could be the next Chris Hoy? Though not if you’re a girl, or if you don’t take up cycling.

Talented freshers arrive in Bath Alex Egan impactsport Reporter

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TeamBath

e at impactsport are proud to report that the university has received some extremely talented

sports performers this year in the form of our lovely freshers. Having just arrived to study at the university, two of the talented athletes have already competed at the London 2012 Olympic Games,

The latest elite sporting members to join the University of Bath

whilst the others also display very impressive achievements!

The University of Bath has already been lucky enough to educate numerous graduates who have gone on to success within the sporting world, such graduates include: double paralympic games medallist and Sports Performance graduate, Ben Rushgrove, skeleton Olympic Winter Games gold medallist, Amy Williams, and former England rugby captain and Economics and Politics student, Steve Borthwick.

The freshers to look out for in the sporting world this year include: Gemma Howell (judo), Rachel Smith (rhythmic gymnastics), Katie Tomsett (sailing), Emma Cadoux-Hudson (rowing), Tom Vaughan-Edwards (rugby), Kirsten McAslan (athletics), Freya de Chastelain (judo), Niklas Rieger (hockey),Sonny Webster (weightlifting), Anne Bochmann

(swimming) and Angharad James (football).

Judo player, Gemma Howell, and rhythmic gymnast, Rachel Smith, participated in the summer Olympic Games in London this year. Howell narrowly missed out on victory after drawing with reigning world and European champion in her opening round under 63kg class competition, whilst Smith captained the firstever rhythmic group to represent Great Britain at the Olympics.

Sailor Katie Tomsett, affiliate of the Skandia Team GBR 470 Olympic Development squad, finished fourth in last year’s Under-22 World Championships.

This year she achieved even more in taking a bronze at the 2012 European Junior Championships and finishing fifth at the senior European Championships. Fellow water-sportswoman, rower and fresher Emma Cadoux-Hudson,

finished fourth in the GB eight at the Couple de la Jeunesse in Spain.

Rugby and athletics are not to be forgotten in the biochemistry department, with the success of Bath Rugby Academy and England under-19 player Tom Vaughan-Edwards and previous European Junior Championships gold medal winner sprinter Kirsten McAslan.

Further success in judo is represented by Freya de Chastelain, winning bronze in the under 48kg class in 2010 at the European Junior Olympics.

The University of Bath Hockey Club scores a win with German midfielder Niklas Rieger representing not only his country at under-21 level but also Team Bath Buccaneers. impactsport wishes them the best of luck at the university and in their future sporting careers.

Monday 8th October 2012

Jon Gleave Student’s Union Sports Officer susport@bath.ac.uk

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he Olympics have been and gone, the foam fingers thrown away, and the GB training vests folded up and put away for the winter months. However, the legacy continues…

Two months ago the greatest sporting show on Earth came to London, and the greatest sporting talent from Bath went along with it. 50 Bath based athletes competed at both the Paralympics and Olympic games this summer; competing for three countries and across no less than 13 sports. Bath’s Liz Johnson even had the honour of taking the oath on behalf of all Paralympians at the opening ceremony.

Team Bath athletes won an incredible seven medals across the two games between them, with contributions coming from: Michael Jamison in the pool, Samantha Murray in Modern Pentathlon, Liz Johnson in SB6 100m breaststroke, Ben Rushgrove in T36 200m, Katrina Hart in the 4x100m T35-38 and Paul Blake contributing two medals winning silver in the T36 400m and bronze in the 800m.

If you want to meet Michael, Samantha, Liz, Katrina and possibly some other sporting legends too then come along to the Founders Hall on Wednesday 10th October at 13:00. For one hour only, you will be treated to a Q&A with some of the athletes (email any questions you may have to susport@ bath.ac.uk and I will try and pick the best ones to ask) and for a general meet and greet opportunity. If you’re interested in attending, then head to Facebook and search for ‘Celebration of our 2012 medallists’. Make sure to get your friends involved too.

One last thing, make sure you bring your camera because there will be some genuine, bona fide Olympics and Paralympics silverware on show!

Formula One: vroom vroom Simon Rushton impactsport Reporter o once again we have reached the time in the F1 season where people’s jobs are under scrutiny and the “transfer window” is unlocked and starts creaking open slowly.

This year however there was the added interest of gaps opening within the top teams.

McLaren have a position after Hamilton’s departure to Mercedes where he replaces Michael Schumacher, who is almost definitely retiring.

That’s not all at the top; there is the Ferrari second driver seat that is precariously filled by an underperforming Felipe Massa who only has 1 year left on his contract. So where does this leave us?

An unhappy Hamilton has turned his back on McLaren, to head over to Mercedes, where a larger pay cheque awaits him, along with the added benefits of representing a global brand and furthering his media profile.

This means that the McLaren seat that has been occupied by Hamilton since his F1 debut in 2007 had to be filled.

McLaren had two options after Hamilton’s move, they could have opted for a one-season stopgap whilst they wait for a talented young driver to emerge or they could take a more immediate risk.

McLaren went for the former with the young driver Sergio Perez (pictured below)

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who has shone out from the midfield crowd driving for Sauber in the 2012 season. He was on the young driver’s books at Ferrari, but Stefano Domenicali decided not to sign him for this season, so this opened the door for McLaren.

Despite only making his grand prix debut in 2011, Perez has out-performed his car and has notched up 3 podiums and nearly double the points of his teammate, Kamui Kobayashi.

In terms of driving style, this seems a sensible move from McLaren, as both Perez and Jenson Button have a reputation for managing tyres and thus the car can be designed with this in mind.

Which leads us on to a brief word about Mercedes, who clearly have a car that always performs exceptionally on the straights, but around the bends it appears to excessively wear tyres. With their unpredictable nature, getting the most out of the tyres is currently the dominating factor in the races, and this is massively hindering Mercedes’ chance of a title.

So this leaves the second seat at Ferrari, which an admirably loyal Massa has filled. He has another year on his contract that on current perform-

ance will definitely n o t be renewed, so do Ferrari buy

ph-stop

Meet our Olympic heroes

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Lewis Hamilton celebrates after a successful F1 campign out his contract to try and get a is consistently out performing better driver who could push for his teammate. However, afpoints and the illusive construc- ter his pretty mediocre time at tors title?

McLaren, keeping Massa seems To look for experienced driv- to be the safer option. ers in the ‘midfield’ isn’t goAfter the shake-up of drivers ing to be easy, with most of the it will be interesting to see which team’s seats filled by ‘up and team settles down the quickest coming’ drivers. The only truly in the 2013 season and makes experienced driver is Cater- the most of their new acquisiham’s Heikki Kovalainen, who tions.

Sport, a pathway to success Jon Gleave Student’s Union Sports Officer susport@bath.ac.uk

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oming away from the British Universities and Colleges Sport Conference this ‘summer’ I learnt a lot about sport in the UK. The most important thing for me however to come out of the three day jolly to Exeter was the role sport can play in ones’ development and future career prospects.

Employers no longer want graduates who just turn up to the interview process and unceremoniously ram a degree certificate under their nose. In these times of austerity they are looking for much more than that. They want well rounded individuals who are academically gifted, yes, but who also have key life skills as well; skills such as

leadership, teamwork, excellent communication abilities and the will to succeed. This article serves as a rather unsubtle promotional tool therefore to get you guys involved in sport here at the University of Bath.

With the introduction of increased tuition fees you need to make sure that you are leaving university with the best degree possible, combined with the best experience possible. As your Student Union Sport Officer, I believe one particularly effective way of guaranteeing this is by getting involved in the wide array of sports and development opportunities we have on offer here within the union.

Whether it be playing in a competitive team or just having a kick about with your friends, you can learn vital leadership, teamwork

Team Bath

Sport

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A view of the superb facilities here at the University of Bath and communication skills. Not to mention develop levels of confidence that would otherwise take years to facilitate. By getting involved with the running of a sports club or sitting on executive committees you can take on roles that play a crucial part in developing organisational and management skills.

As if that’s not enough of a reason to join in and get involved in university sport, we even give you a free t-shirt. If you want to know more about how you can get involved with sport here in the Students’ Union then just pop your head into my office, go onto bathstudent.com or drop me an email at susport@bath.ac.uk.

Monday 8th October 2012

bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

Gliding Club fly high in June University of Bath Gliding Club

Tim Fletcher impactsport Reporter

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lans are already being put in place by the University of Bath Gliding Club to replicate the success of the ‘Sitec Flying Week 2012’.

Back in week 25 of the previous academic year, the Gliding Club was able to host a flying week thanks to their sponsorship deal with Sitec. Since their home club only operates on weekends, the money was used to provide food and drinks to many of the volunteers, club members and instructors who came to run the airfield during the weekdays. Without all their help it would not have been possible to achieve all that we did during the week.

Due to the large number of volunteer club members, the club was able to run for the whole week, including a dawn-until-dusk flying day. Official sunrise was at 04:51am and it is legal to fly 30 min before sunrise, therefore everybody was up before 4am and the first glider left the ground at 04.22am. Flying continued throughout the day and the club managed to clock a total of 77 launches in the one day, nearly double the average for a weekend’s gliding.

Two recent solo pilots (flying without an instructor) completed their 1 hour duration flight towards attaining a bronze badge.

Members of the University of Bath Gliding Club during the Sitec Flying Week 2012 Another two completed their 2 hour endurance flights, bringing them a step closer to their cross country qualification. This will enable them to fly away from the airfield and compete in competitions, whereby pilots race around the country.

One of our more experienced club members flew over 300 km

during the week, travelling as far as Westcott in Buckinghamshire and back to the airfield near Warminster, Wiltshire. Many other student pilots took advantage of the good weather and made excellent progress towards going solo.

The Sitec flying week was a huge success. Many great flights were achieved and all the students

involved thoroughly enjoyed the week, from ab-initios to experienced solo pilots and instructors.

We are very confident that with continued future support from our sponsors at Sitec, weeks like this will continue to be an excellent event, providing a fantastic opportunity for students to get involved, both in the air and on the ground.

round sports training and competition opportunities for people with intellectual (learning) disabilities.

The National Summer Games will be held in Bath from Wednesday 28th August - Saturday 31st August 2013.

It is expected that over 1,700 athletes will take part in the following 12 sports during the Games: Athletics, Gymnastics, Football, Boccia, Badminton, Short-mat Bowls, Golf, Rhythmic Gymnastics, Table Tennis, Ten Pin Bowling, Tennis and Swimming.

Special Olympics GB’s National Summer Games is the showpiece event that takes place every four year to celebrate the organisation and its athletes.

Within the UK, Special Olympics Great Britain (SOGB) serves over 8,000 registered athletes annually through almost 150 volunteer-led local clubs and 19 regions.

Karen Wallin, Special Olympics GB’s CEO, said: “Over 1,700 athletes and 500 voluntary coaches - supported by a further 500 volunteers and estimated 5,000 family members will be heading to Bath for our biggest

national event which takes place every four years.

“This is a very significant sporting event and will require a large amount of assistance and energy from the local population to ensure the most successful and memorable event possible for our athletes, their families and the City.”

SPECIAL OLYMPICS GB NATIONAL SUMMER GAMES Wednesday 28th August: Opening Ceremony Thursday 29th, 30th August: Competition Saturday 31st August: Competition & Closing Ceremonies.

Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk fter our huge involvement in this summer’s sporting success, the University of Bath has received further positive news with the confirmation that the Special Olympics GB National Summer Games 2013 will be held in the city of Bath for the first time.

The ninth of these Summer Games, is to be largely based here, at the £30 million University of Bath’s Sports Training Village, which was used as the base for a number of competing athletes at the London 2012 Olympic Games, including the Great Britain’s pre-Paralympic training camp.

Director of sport at the University of Bath Stephen Baddeley said: “We’re delighted that Bath is hosting Special Olympics GB’s National Summer Games for the first time and we’re naturally pleased that the most of the sport will be held at the University of Bath.

Special Olympics GB is the largest registered charity providing year

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Special Olympics GB

Special Olympics Come to Bath

Bath Council Chairman plays table tennis at the launch of the event

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Sport

Gleave’s gripes International Diving Competition?

I write this through a fuzzy haze of Freshers’ Flu, so it may not make much sense as it’s fairly hard to type whilst trying not to convulsively splutter all over a keyboard. I’m sure however that many of you are also feeling my pain and are reading this whilst trying to stifle a cough or sneeze.

Some of you may have given up reading it all together and are instead using it to blow your nose in a vain attempt to expel the fluey viruses. Incidentally freshers, this is what a week of drinking and erratic sleep patterns will do to you.

Anyway, last week saw Alex Ferguson defend his beloved Portuguese winger Nani, stating that he was neither a diver nor was he a cheat. He also blamed “particularly” foreign players for the influx of simulation seen in recent years. For me, this is not a valid argument and cannot be used.

It’s too general a statement and opens up too many worm filled cans. I don’t think ‘simulation’ is a foreign import, like brie or Rolf Harris. I think it’s a problem all over the world, whether you’re playing football in England or Ethiopia.

To say that it’s a problem isolated to foreign individuals would be like arguing that the grass in Belgium is extremely coarse and as a result, Eden Hazard has never known the wonderful, childish joys of the humble power-slide.

It’s all simply non-sensical. In all honesty, Sir Alex’s defence of his player is probably a bitter reaction to a loss on home soil and he may well come to regret his comments.

This isn’t to say that I condone the art of cheating, but cheating does happen and is never going to go away, it just develops in new ways. A hundred years ago, when crossbars were made of rope, players would tug down on them if a shot looked like it might just be sneaking in, so the ball would instead fly narrowly over. Now, they trip over their own feet in order to win a penalty.

I can also prove that it’s not an issue that is specific to foreign individuals. When I was a youngster playing in local league football I regularly tripped over my feet and won many a free kick as a result. Rather than being an attempt to intentionally con the referee however, I fear it’s because in truth I just wasn’t very good.

impactsport Christopher Elkin

nic_r

Monday 8th October 2012

Simon Rushton talks about team changes Formula 1, Page 26

Inside impactsport Gliding Club go flying The University of Bath Gliding Club review their Sitec Flying Week from last year and look forward to further success this June when the 2013 FlyingWeek will take place.

Page 27 has the full story

Gleave’s Gripes Student’s Union Sport Officer Jon Gleave gives his take on Sir Alex Ferguson’s comments regarding international players causing the problem of diving within the world of football.

See Page 27

Concussion: not so funny A picture of a hot air balloon during its flight through the skies over the city of Bath

Skeleton team take to the skies Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk

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ritain‘s Bath-based skeleton sliders left the speed of their sleds to travel through the serene skies of Bath in hot air balloons, ahead of the start of the 2012/13 winter campaign.

Their season gets underway on the 26th October when the sliders will compete in selection races to try to earn their place on the British team for the World Cup series starting on the 31st January.

The team was, not unusually, up early but instead of heading to the gym they instead made the trip up to the Royal Crescent ahead of their 2000ft flight over the city of Bath.

The athletes swapped their fast paced training regime where they are used to hurtling down a track at speeds of up to 90mph, lying just a couple of inches from the ice, for a tranquil journey over Bath.

Shelley Rudman, who won a

silver medal at the Turin Olympic Winter Games in 2006, was among the athletes who floated off for the balloon flight.

She said: “It was a unique experience, I don’t think any of us have been up in a hot air balloon before. It definitely got the adrenaline going and it’s good for the team. I think we’ll be talking about it for a few weeks.”

Rudman is hoping to continue her impressive form after winning the 2011/2 World Cup series. “I was really, really chuffed to win the overall World Cup last year, but my goals have changed this season, I have different targets. I’d like to win a medal at the World Championships.

“My ultimate goal is Sochi 2014. It’s really special to go to one Olympics, so to go to my third would be something I’d love to do.”

Whilst Donna Creighton enjoyed her virgin flight, she was ultimately fully focussed on the upcoming season, she said: “It all starts for me with the selections.

There are five girls going for three places at the World Cups, but I think I’m in with a good chance.

We’ll have to see what happens.

“We want to build on everything from the Olympics this summer - that was such an amazing atmosphere.”

Rudman and Creighton were joined by three-times Olympian Kristan Bromley in the balloons, as well as Laura Deas, Rose McGrandle, Dominic Parsons and Ed Smith.

Also joining the current crop of athletes were reigning Olympic champion Amy Williams, as well as Mayor of Bath, Councillor Andrew Furse and Mayoress MeiLing Chou Furse.

The event was organised by British Skeleton Performance Director, Nigel Laughton who said: “I’m pleased we were able to offer the athletes this opportunity before they set off for the next six months representing their country.

He added: “They train twice a day six days a week, so this was

a morning off to allow them to enjoy something totally different.

“Some of them were a bit worried before, some of them were petrified, but they were all really looking forward to it and they had a great time.

Laughton commented that: “Floating along in the sky is very different to doing 90mph about an inch off the ground.

“It’s a huge year for us. We have the selection races and nine World Cups, including the test event in Sochi, and also the World Championships in St Moritz. In a non-Olympic year, this is as big as it gets.

“We’ve got a strong squad and we’re looking to laying down a marker.”

Laughton concluded: “I’d like to thank the pilots and their support teams for their time, effort and generosity and we hope all of them are going to come to the University of Bath to have a go down the push track that our athletes train on in the coming weeks.

impactsport reporter Ben Cochrane reveals all on the issue that is often undiagnosed, and tries to recall hi memories of concussion during his rugby career.

Turn to page 25 to read more

Gifted freshers join Bath impactsport reporter Alex Egan looks at the latest recruits to the University of Bath and gives us an insight into our prospects for the future.

Page 25

impactsport needs you!

If you are interested in sport and want to contribute, then contact the bathimpact Sport Editor Matthew Powell (impact-sport@bath.ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get involved.

We’re always on the lookout for for writers, photographers, people to lay up, or just all round sports buffs in general to help out. So, if you have a story you want to share, don’t be afraid to get in touch!

Tranquility

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson

Monday 8th October

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Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

EDITORIAL Thomas Gane bite Editor

impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

CONTENTS Take Your Time - Page 2 & 3 Modern Notes - Page 3 bite meets Alt-J - Page 4 The Guide - Page 5 Review: Looper - Page 6 Review: Killing Them Softly - Page 6 Fuck Your Spongy Brioche - Page 6 Oppa Gangnam Style! - Page 7 Oppa... Battle Born - Page 7 Bath Freshers Style Watch with BUF Page 8 & 9 Keep Calm, Stay Classic - Page 10 Agony Uncle & Aunts - Page 11

The bite Guide to Chilling the Fuck Out Cupcake Corner, with BakeSoc - Page 12 Keeping It Casual - Page 12 Review: Mumford and Sons, Babel - Page 13 Review: The XX, Coexist - Page 13 Review: J.K. Rowling, The Casual Vacancy - Page 13

Mintyfresh - Page 14 Horoscopes - Page 15 Puzzle Corner - Page 16 www.facebook.com/bathimpactbite Swww.bathimpact.com TUDENT U n i v e r s i t y

o f

B a t h

S t u d e n t s ’

U n i o n

m edia Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151 The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.

P

erhaps the decision to choose Tranquility and calm shit like that this issue is my subconscious screaming at me, “Take a fucking break! One day of lying on the couch in your boxers watching Community, playing guitar and reading Terry Pratchett!” You see, we here at bathimpact have basically been working on production for three weeks straight to provide you lucky people 2 isssues and a week of mintyfresh (collective sympathy noises on 1,2,3). As such our body clocks are fucked up, we’re all in a constant state of rage (... more so than usual anyway) and if one more person tries to tell us how funny it was when they pissed themselves we’re not responsible for our actions. As such I felt a little bit of calm was needed.

I should probably take on board a lot of the lessons that could be learned from this issue as I’m a slightly angry man most of the time. Getting on the U18 at Oldfield Park, quite chilled out after a nice walk with Counting Crows and The Gaslight Anthem in my ears, I feel like I’m ready for the day. By the time we get to town, I’m slightly annoyed by the noises that are being forced into my ears by idiots who can’t sit in angry silence like the rest of us. By campus, I’m back to hating the world and everything it. Things like people who say YOLO. People who say Carpe Diem because they think they’re better than people who say YOLO. Anyone who talks to me on a bus. Buses themselves. This girl Jess from my old school. The fact John Terry is allowed to exist. My toaster that requires me to fight it every morning before I can kill my bread.

The fact that people who think You Me At Six, Coldplay, Train and The Script are better than Springsteen, Bob Dylan and Frank Turner aren’t immediately considered insane and removed from positions of any authority. Anybody who thinks that having Hollister or Jack Wills on a white t-shirt makes it cool and worth £20.

Anybody who thinks Mitt Romney is a good thing. Mitt Romney.

Anybody who thinks Russell Howard is a good thing. Russell Howard. The fact Charlie Brooker isn’t our leader and finally and most importantly, Michael fucking Gove.

Fucking Michael Gove. His face looks like it was made out of clay by someone satirising humanity in general and we just didn’t get it, so we put him in a suit and let him make horibble noises all day.

Anyway, things suck so let people who are more calm than me wash you in a literary pool of tranquility. We begin with Darius Gilani advising us on how we should treat spare time so it doesn’t turn into time spent stressing about wasting our spare time. Rowan Emslie then continues his new column Modern Notes on page 3 before I meet Mercury Award nominees Alt-J for an interview on page 4. Page 5 sees the return of The Guide, bringing you the best of events in Bath and Bristol over the next two weeks, and page 6 (for your eyes) and 7 (for your ears) is our usual review section. Pages 8 and 9 is a spread by Bath University Fashion Society on their Freshers’ week campus style watch. Page 10 is also fashion orientated with Sophia Guilfoyle giving you an introduction to Bath fashion with her column “Keep Calm, Stay Classic”. On pages 10 & 11 we attempt to gain wisdom from bite’s agony aunts und uncles answering your queries. Pages 12 & 13 is bite’s guide to chilling out so you don’t end up as bitter as me. Recommendations for books, music, gaming and baking from our expert team should hopefully prevent you writing a few hundred words on the things you hate just to relieve some stress. mintyfresh makes a triumphant return on page 14 before our pyschic speaks to the stars on your behalf with a full page of horoscopes on page 15. As usual, puzzles finishes everything off and this week’s is awesome.

Like, ridiculously fucking awesome. There’s a samurai sudoku!

Did you even know that they exist?

That’s about it I guess. You’ve had an insight into the pointless anger that seems to fill my head for most of the day and all the things we’ve got in bite this week to get rid of any that you may have.

To get involved in bite head over to our facebook group at www.facebook.com/bathimpactbite Or email me at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

TakingYour Written by

This is an article about how we use time, and how we can take advantage of it to enjoy life at university.

FOR GOODNESS SAKE, DON’T TURN OVER THE PAGE JUST YET. GIVE THIS A CHANCE. HECK, PUT YOUR iPOD ON WHILE READING THIS IF IT HELPS.

T

here’s a classic moment in The Simpsons where Nelson Muntz bursts into his classroom and yells at everyone to follow him without explaining why. He simply says that “there’s no time to explain.” On the long journey he tells them he has time to take a drink at a water fountain, but “no time to explain.” All he had to tell them was that Springfield’s lemon tree had been stolen. This phrase has become a meme and even been duplicated in other comedy series such as American Dad. It’s a completely ludicrous assumption that we make about the amount of time we have to do things: that there isn’t time.

We aren’t as rational as we’d like to think when it comes to spending our time. On how many occasions have you decided to run across the road, rather than waiting for the crossing light to turn green? How many times have you insisted on pressing the “close doors” button on a lift, although these are often deactivated (consequently, when someone you don’t want to share a lift with is coming the only real option left is to punch them)? John Gleick has pointed out that these activities at most save a negligible two minutes, in comparison to the hours we spend checking statuses on facebook or staring at ourselves in the mirror (admit it). Yet we continue to do these, and it’s even hard to enjoy having a break with this attitude of needing to be faster. Leslie Perlow called it Time Famine: the feeling that there is never enough time to do what we want, but we’ll still try our best to catch up.

The funny thing is we all already know some of the most important ways to use time constructively. However, it’s very easy to get attached to a mixed bag of ridiculous and empirically tested clichés. Here’s a good example of a stupid cliché: I’m looking at an old CV of mine and one of the competences listed is “Effective time management.” WHAT ON EARTH DOES THAT MEAN? It’s an umbrella term of infuriating ambiguity, much like when people write that they have good communication or organization skills. It’s incredibly vague, and requires some story-telling to be contextually understood. This is the reason why interviewers will ask you to demonstrate examples of when you showed your effective time management skills.

They don’t know what you mean either. In this situation your best bet is probably to point and shout “look, it’s a unicorn” and then explain it was quicker than the truth. There’s always a chance they might laugh (or love unicorns).

By time management do you mean that you set deadlines for fun and work? You may think setting rigorous deadlines for work and play is a good technique, but it’s actually a bit of a double edged sword. Back in 1988 an organizational researcher named Connie Gersick observed how student project groups reacted to milestones and deadlines. They routinely became inert and slow around the halfway point of a project, and hasty when they saw that the deadline was approaching (the excuse “I work best under pressure” is almost always BS, we’ve all said it and we all know it is). How many times have you surrendered to the last-moment panic of double-checking word counts and radically altering paragraphs of assignments? How often have you stared up at the clock towards the final part of a painful group meeting or lecture? Deadlines can be a pretty strong motivator to finish when they get near, but they also encourage us to be lazy when they seem far off.

Then there’s the other issue with setting deadlines for having fun – we end up becoming paranoid about staring at clocks, and committing to them when it no longer makes sense to do so. It becomes a joyless and worthless charade. Take the friend who spends their entire evening at a club looking at the time on their mobile phone. Or the student who walks into a class-

Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

odern Notes

Time

Silence

Darius Gilani

ToniVC Time, you should make the most of it. At least until we can get a TARDIS with our student loan.

Written by Rowan Emslie

took was the use of a one word stage direction.

How should one respond to a cry for help, or the mention of an unpleasant memory, or someone divulging a shocking secret?

Pause.

John Cage is another giant of 20th century creativity. His personality was much more eccentric than the cricket loving Englishman Pinter. Cage bestrode the arts scene of mid-century New York with the likes of Andy Warhol and Lou Reed - these were bohemians living lifestyles far from the orthodox. Cage cohabited for most of his life with the legendary choreographer Merce Cunningham. Despite living to be 80 years old, Cage died in 1992, a full 19 years before he and Cunningham could have been legally married in New York.

Musically, his most famous piece remains the faintly notorious 4’33” which consists almost entirely of no sound whatsoever. There are no notes, only the occasional rustle of the piano player opening and closing the lid over the keys.

This is silence with a reason. Cage took Zen Buddhist principles and applied them to classical composition the ideal of removing the influence of the composer and performers from the music itself.

The most important element of this performance is the fact that people show up to it. The sounds you hear on the recordings mostly come from the audience, shifting uncomfortably. They turn up for some avant-garde music, they are respectful and thoughtful and probably very dressed up, complete with sculptural scarves, berets and fake glasses. They try to sit and wait for it to start - perhaps this is just a very subtle beginning?

Pause. lcars

-room twenty minutes late and then falls asleep on their desk.

Did they turn up for the allotted time? Yep, but they aren’t really doing anything valuable with it, discounting any dream based epiphanies in which the lecturer’s words somehow manage to penetrate your mind and you become an instant genius (it’ll happen one day, I swear I’m just doing research). They’ll also find it difficult to convince an irate lecturer or their disappointed friends otherwise.

Of course, the other side of taking time off to have fun is that we lose track of time. The phrase goes that “time flies”, and there’s an entire field of research dedicated to this notion. When we get stuck into activities that engage us, we experience a sense of timelessness, named by Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi as “flow”. It may not always be enjoyable (contrary to popular belief), but the activity must require a suitable enough level of challenge that we become engrossed in doing it. Take for example the last topical argument you had with a friend at the pub, Halo 3 on Legendary or the maths problem you scribbled over a studyroom whiteboard or exactly how many doughnuts you could eat in 5 minutes (turns out it’s about 20). Not always fun, but challenging (doughnuts was fun for about 30 seconds if anyone’s interested). Once you’ve gotten around to checking a clock, you’ll see they’re also time-consuming. When this happens you’ll probably end up making your time famine worse, and dashing around like a headless chicken.

So where does that leave you, the avid reader who’s been trying to read about how to take time off that actually constitutes as time off for your mind, rather than the slow numbing process that most of us subscribe to? This writer’s advice would be simply not to call it “taking time off.” You’re just doing something different, and you should appreciate the value of that. Only set deadlines that you’re prepared to keep and use. There isn’t a time-travelling Delorean, hot-tub, phone booth (Bill and Ted, young people) or a TARDIS nearby to recover it when it’s gone.

And no, you don’t need to be trapped in Groundhog Day either. Find the moments when you don’t need to look at the nearest clock face, and learn to do so. Be pragmatic about when you’re likely to actually do work, and when you’re likely to just switch off to some Foo Fighters or a riveting issue of bathimpact. It’s your time after all, and you might as well be satisfied with it.

Speaking of which, there are some awesome events, albums, films and games out right now that are probably worthy of your time. Check out what our bite team thinks of the new releases, and hopefully you can find some time to enjoy a few of them (name dropping like a boss).

I

Zen and shit like that.

t is enjoyable to walk around campus at this time of year. Thousands of people begin to move about and talk and learn as they start their new year at University. Concurrently, the fresher population has set off on a process of social retreat - for a week they talked to anyone and everyone, sure they’ll make and keep hundreds of new friends as a kicking off point for adult life. School is over, everything has changed, I can be whoever I want to be with whoever is around!

Now the drunken haze is lifting and all those old embarrassments are returning. When they see last week’s ‘new-best-friend’ they realize that they don’t actually know anything about them beyond how much they can drink or, perhaps, what school they went to. Suddenly, conversations are with strangers once more and they fall into awkward silence all too often.

Don’t fear. Silence is one of the strongest creative tools known to man.

Harold Pinter, recipient of the Nobel Prize for literature in 2005, revolutionised theatre throughout the 20th century. Others did so as well - Bertolt Brecht, Peter Brooks, Peter Hall - but they did so with radical innovations that shocked people, moved them from traditional venues or reinvented classical drama to modern contexts. What Harold Pinter did was pause.

For him, ensuring that characters left most of what they thought and felt unspoken was infinitely more powerful than having them flail for five minutes while they eloquently explain that poison is going to kill them. All it

Maybe someone coughs nervously. Or they shift in their seat and squeak the joints. People try not to turn and look - must be respectful of the performers, darling - but as the silence drags on these tiny noises take on more and more significance. This isn’t, as people derisively say, 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence - it’s 4 minutes and 33 seconds of people trying not to break that silence.

You might think, so what? But this is a fascinating audio experiment. Not only does it undermine the traditional boundaries of music - stuff that is deliberately played for you - to include all sounds but it is able to elicit emotional responses - discomfort, nervousness, embarrassment - without employing any notes or instruments whatsoever. More than this, the piece is universal and timeless. No two performances will be the same. It will be affected by the culture of the audience, by the geography of the location, by the sounds of the surrounding area. Everything. This isn’t something, in all fairness, that you can ever have said to have ‘heard’ - it is something to experience, again and again, in a multitude of different ways.

At the very least, it’s a neat trick.

It takes a little time to develop new friendships when you move to University. Perhaps the best way to go about finding people you genuinely like is to join groups that interest you because, that way, other people in the group have at least one thing in common with you. It’s something to build on.

Relax. Forcing a friendship with the people you happen to be living with is tortuous. If it happens, great. If not, it’s time to embrace that silence.

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Monday 8th October 2012

bite

bite meets Alt-J

www.bathimpact.com

Written by Thomas Gane

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tl-J are quite the unlikely success story. Formed in 2007 when Gwil Sainsbury (guitarist/bassist), Joe Newman (guitar/vocals), Gus Unger-Hamilton (keyboards) and Thom Green (drums) met at Leeds University. Their music draws on elements of folk, rock bass, catchy pop, and hip-hop beats with electronic heavy synth riffs. This has led them to be referred to as ‘folkstep’ and, perhaps surprisingly, allowed them to gain a strong following since the release of their first album, An Awesome Wave, in May 2012. I caught up with guitarist Gwil a few weeks back to chat about the summer, their success and how they wrote An Awesome Wave.

CômeTess

Tom: Hi is this Gwil?

Gwil: It is, hi Tom: I’m Tom from the Bath University paper?

Gwil: Is this a phone interview? I just got a text from my manager saying I had one, I had no idea.

Tom: (Laughs) can we start?

G: Sure, no problem.

T: You guys have just got back from Reading and Leeds, and I was there on the Friday of Reading and you had the Festival of Republic tent packed out of the door.

What was that like?

G: We’ve never really played to a crowd that was that energetic, I think we were pretty overwhelmed by it, really. People usually

we go on stage..

T: Have you received a similar reception from other festivals like Latitude and Green Man? G: Latitude, that was a bit of a turning point in us sort of seeing people really responding to our music and lots of people turned up to sort of pack out the area to maximum capacity and really kind of going mental. It’s just not something we’re used to. Then Green Man had the potential to be like that but it was so muddy inside the tent I don’t think anyone could actually physically jump about or move because it was so muddy and slippery. But they were both really... I don’t know, it’s fairly new to us to sort of have that response.

Our album came out in May, and we didn’t really have any idea what would happen, it just sort of built up. The internet was sort of talking about it more than any sort of mainstream press, really.

You could just watch it all on twitter, sort of moving, and it was very satisfying. Fun, as well.

T: You even managed to get over to America, and ‘An Awesome Wave’ isn’t even out there yet, and you managed to sell out a string of shows.

G: Yeah! I dunno, that’s sort of the power of the internet. It was really weird to turn up in America and find every show sold out, and you have no idea that you have fans in these places. You turn up in Chicago and play to a completely packed room to people who again know all the words because you can stream it from SoundCloud. We’re going back to America to do a month, and we’re going to be traveling across America, it’s just sort of completely bizarre,

This is Gwill by the way sort of like stand and nod at our shows. I think they’re might have for us. We really liked the album when we made it, but we had no even been a circle pit...I don’t know if that was meant to be ironic or idea what other people would think of it, worrying it was a bit sort something. I don’t know; we’d never experience that sort of like... of weird. We thought it might appeal to the internet, y’know a lot cultish atmosphere. It was pretty weird and we weren’t expecting of bloggers and people would like it, as it was a sort of like, underit; in fact I think if anything if we ever had that sort of reaction it’d ground sort of record, but it’s not done that at all. It’s sort of getting be playing Leeds festival. a Radio 1 playlist which is something that we’d never really thought T: You played ‘BBC Introducing’ as well what was was possible for out sort of music. that like?

T: Then straight after America you’ve got the UK G: it was kind of weird, actually, because um you’re doing it to again. That must feel almost like a triumphant return live Radio 1, three tracks -- there’s an audience like in front of you, type of thing. um and it’s just quite an odd experience because you go on and sort G: Yeah, especially after a month in a tour van, it’d be really nice of sound check, and you haven’t been announced as a secret act yet, to come back. This’ll be our first proper headline tour; we did one you sort of go up and soundcheck in front of a crowd and not actu- earlier in the year but it was a very, very small, very small budget ally sure if you’re playing a gig yet, it as all quite strange and then for the whole thing. I think this time we’re a little bit more -- makyou get the go-ahead from Radio 1 that you’re on-air and then you ing it more of a spectacle for the crowd. We’ll mix up the set a lot; just start playing. It’s quite an unnatural thing to do. It went well, we’ve been sort of playing a standard set at the moment because of I think. There were even people there with triangles on their arms how long we’re playing. People are seeing us for the first time so I and I don’t know how they had because it was sort of secret before feel like we sort of need to mix it up to make it a bit more interest-

ing. So we’re working on that.

T: Moving on from touring, you guys are now favourites to win the Mercury Prize.

G: Yes! T: Were you expecting anything like that?

G: Paddy Power has had these odds out for a few weeks, I think? We saw the betting early on and we were pretty shocked, I mean, we’ve grown up sort of watching the Mercury Awards, and, it’s something that we sort of always just had an interest in. I mean, to get a Mercury Award it just a really great thing, I think. I mean, it’s kind of sad that you’re sort of relying on the praise of an institution, but it’s nice to know. I do think that incredible albums get nominated, and we might not always agree with all the choices, but I think if you get a nomination for a Mercury Prize, I think it does mean something. I do think people are more likely to listen to a Mercury Prize nominee. And as for winning it, the odds in the bookmakers, it’s almost quite scary. It’s almost like a bit of a curse to be the favourite, and I kind of don’t think winning it gives you that much more than the nomination.

T: Just to finish can I ask you about the writing process? Your debut album is so complex and mature; you’re all singers, you’re all multi-instrumentalists so I imagine it’s an interesting process?

G: The writing process seems to change, each track was a different process. I mean, the one constant is that Joe, who is kind of the main singer, he writes lyrics, and he writes most of the melodies on his guitar. He’ll bring it to us and we might re-structure it, and we might put in parts or take out parts, and we’ll work it out that way.

On tracks like ‘Fitz Pleasure’, it was a jam we’d sort of had for years, and we’d never really worked out what it was, it was kind of, much more mutant than it is now.

T: With the bass-drop, it’s got hints of like a calmer sort of dub-step, almost.

G: Yeah, yeah it sort of turned into that, and we sort of still didn’t have any idea what it was, and we took it to the studio, and it’s something that we put down all the parts and then we worked out the whole thing section by section and edited the whole thing down. I mean, it’s still a pretty odd thing, but it makes much more sense now than it did. We kind of believe in the happy accidents that go on in the recording studio as well, I think a track like ‘Taro’ -- it has this sort of bhangra swing in the chorus, and that was a complete accident. It was on the beat, and it just got moved by the producer, I don’t know whether by accident or on purpose and we just played it back and it worked. We’ve all got quite different music tastes, so if you get four of us to like something then hopefully that means it’s quite good. So that’s sort of like the first filtering stage. And then in the final filtering stage we kind of take it to the studio’s producer, so there’s a whole other set of ears looking out for different things, to put things in or take things out and make it a whole lot better. I think we have quite a strong policy of, sort of a quite minimalist policy. Like if you can’t really quite justify why a part’s in there, it has to go. The mistake we see a lot in music is everyone in the band is playing all the time, and no-one ever stops, and I think we have a way of working where we take turns.

T: Thanks a lot, it’s been a pleasure, see you in Bristol!

Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

5

The Guide

lfynnpr1

written by Marie-Lou Steul, Thomas Gane (and whoever else we can drag on to the radio show)

Bristol should probably prepare for an earthquake. Either that or lots of drunk young people going to a Labrinth gig

Music

Arts

Comedy

Simon & Oscar from Ocean Colour Scene, 15th October at Komedia, Bath. Tickets: £15.00

Kilter Theatre: The Last Post, 11th and 12th of October at The University of Bath Campus. Tickets: £8.00

Stephen K. Amos: Laughter is my Agenda, 16th October at Komedia, Bath. Tickets: £17

Ocean Colour Scene have been around since 1990, have had five Top 10 albums and six Top 10 singles and were part of that wonderful 90’s period when BritPop was good.

Simon, guitar and vocals, and Oscar, drums, are touring an intimate acoustic show that is certainly not to be missed.

Labrinth, 17th October at The O2 Academy, Bristol.

Tickets: £15.00 It’s almost been a year since Labrinth exploded onto the scene with Earthquake and since then he has only gone from strength to strength with his debut album Electronic Earth. His live show is an all-singing, all-dancing ecclectic mix of rock, dance, pop and dubstep with a fantastic energy (we saw him at Beach Break, we approve). This might be the last chance to see him regularly in such a small venue so if you can make it to Bristol (only one ten minute train) than it’s a definite bite recommendation.

Newton Faulkner, 18th October at The O2 Academy, Bristol. Tickets: £17.50 If you like acoustic music then this is for you. Renowned for his style of play (utilising the body of the guitar to create a very unique sound), Newton Faulkner is an English singer-songwriter with two number one albums under his belt, including his latest Write It On Your Skin.

A brand new First Class delivery from Kilter Theatre with fantastic community interaction. Placing postboxes into the heart of their host communities, The Last Post encourages people to write a letter and post it in the postbox. The performance itself then takes place in a mobile sorting office that contains messeages and packages picked up from all around the world, giving a glimpse of a curious and nostalgic world on the brink of extinction. Booking is essential as the show is extremely intimate with only 20 spaces available for each performance.

Killing Them Softly, daily at 10:45, 16:00,1 8:15, 20:45 at The Little Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £5 Brad Pitt continues his recent delve into more serious and indie cinema with Killing Them Softly, an intense, nouveau-noir mob thriller by director Andrew Dominik.

Adapted from George V. Higgins’ celebrated novel Cogan’s Trade, the film follows Pitt as a Mafia enforcerwho must deal with the fallout from a high-stakes poker game that was held up by two opportunistic hoods. The film has had fantastic reviews on IMDB and if you want to read an in depth review by our film reporter Ron Morrow, turn to page 6 now.

After a sell out run at the Edinburgh comedy festival, Stephen K. Amos is back with an amazing new tour. Dubbed “The warmest comic around, able to riff off a crowd and make them feel good about themselves” by The Sunday Times, Stephen has been working the circuit for years, appearing on numerous panel shows such as Mock The Week. We also interviewed him on URB last week, definite career highlight.

Mark Watson: The Information, 13th October at Colston Hall, Bristol. Tickets: £15.00 He’s the nervous, stuttery Welsh one from all the panel shows and, well, Wales obviously. His new show was inspired after he was a victim of identity theft. This made him think about the power of the Internet, the nature of identity, the way to stop crime forever and live in a better world, and some other smaller matters. You know, just a few things. Primped after an Edinburgh run this is another show that’s not to be missed.

The Midnight Beast: I Kicked A Tour In The Face Tour, O2 Academy, Bristol.Tickets: £17.50 Technically not stand up comedy, more comedy music, but these guys have grown massively since recording a parody of Tik Tok in Stefan’s mum’s house in 2009. After headlining the Festival Republic Stage at Reading and Leeds last summer, becoming the fastest unsigned band to sell out Koko and getting their own TV show on Channel 4, these guys are only going to get bigger.

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Monday 8th October2012

Film Reviews

bite www.bathimpact.com

Written by Ron Morrow

S

ome films have greatness written all over them, and, from the trailers, Killing Them Softly looked to me like one of those films. Alas, despite the all-star cast and the killer premise it somehow fails to deliver the excellence it felt capable of. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good film, but it could have been so much more.

The premise is this: two low level crooks (Scoot McNairy and Ben Mendelsohn) who are in the market for a quick buck knock over Markie Trattman’s (Ray Liotta) card game and set him up to take the fall for it. So, the rest of the criminal big wigs have their middleman (Richard Jenkins) call in hit man Jackie Cogan (Brad Pitt) to find out who done it and lay them to rest.

Fairly simple stuff but there’s plenty of personal issues at play to make it more interesting.

Stepping in to take care of a man who Cogan knows personally is New York Mickey (James Gandolfini); allowing Jackie to stick to his titular style of “killing them softly”, with no emotion and from a distance.

This is no longer a family run, head-honcho kind of business though. No, this is crime by committee. This is true corporation run syndicate where no one agrees and nothing gets done. One can only imagine that this is the real message that the film is getting at given its rather unexpected constant political nods; that when everyone has a say, no one takes charge.

Set during America’s 2008 presidential campaign, there are constant shots of posters, extracts from speeches, and the film’s culmination is on the day of the election itself. All this would be fine if it was ever commented on, by anyone, at all. Instead all it seems to want to do is remind you it happened and create a huge build up to something that never quite matches plot with message.

One of the things I can’t take away from this film is a stellar quality of acting that it presents. Everyone is top notch and works together fantastically. It’s the story where the film falls down slightly though. It tries to be a suspenseful thriller and a political mind-blower, but somehow doesn’t quite pull either element off. It handles its suspense with peaks and troughs, but never reveals anything that wasn’t already pretty established as true. Where the film does really deliver though is in a few scenes, whether they are beautifully brutal, oddly comedic or the occasional incredible one-liner. As a bottom line Killing Them Softly is worth seeing; but worth seeing immediately? No, probably not. It does a lot of things right, but fails to excel in any of them.

I

t’s been a while since a newly released sci-fi film really blew me away, but Looper most certainly managed that. It somehow takes care of everything and ties it up in a nice little package: acting, plot, humour, action and a good helping of time-travel nonsense. For two hours you’ll be gripped and better for the experience.

“Time travel has not yet been invented” the narrative grumbles, “but in 30 years from now, it will have been.” Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as Joe, a Looper who kills targets that the future mob of 2072 sends to the past to be disposed of. Bruce Willis also stars as Joe, albeit the future version thereof, who has been sent back as a target in order to ‘close the loop’. Obviously things don’t go to plan and all hell breaks loose. This is just the surface plot though a whole level of story exists beyond the trailers involving a mother (Emily Blunt) and her child, a mob boss (Jeff Daniels) and his hit-man army including the bumbling antagonist Kid Blue (Noah Segan).

Depending on your interpretation of the workings of time travel (not a statement I use often, admittedly), Looper either works fantastically or terribly. But hey, this is sci-fi and we make up the rules as we go along. What it does present however is an intriguing look at the interests of the present and future selves, and the conflict it creates when they are considered separate entities. Looper’s story is excellent though, and credit to writer/director Rian Johnson for being able to make both linear and circular plots work in sync. The answers are hinted at early but still manages to keep you guessing what will happen next right up to the end, yet somehow also working in comedic elements that feel natural against their contrasting fantastical background.

Something also worth mentioning is the prosthetic make-up G-L has to wear to make him look more like Willis. It’s fantastically done and he looks the part (except the eyebrows, those things are ridiculous), but it just gets better when you notice classic Willis mannerisms coming through in his acting. Speaking of which, it’s refreshing to see Willis back relinquishing a serious role and not some buddy-cop comedy or cameo appearance. He may be getting on, but given his chance in action scenes he still delivers.

Looper is something that only comes along once in a while. Where the sci-fi is robust, yet light enough not to bore the action fans; heavy on plot yet paces itself well. There’s more to it than I can describe here without risking spoilers, but the more I think about it the better I remember it being. Thoroughly recommend.

Fuck Your Spongy Brioche

7/10

taken from Ron’s blog: www.thenorthernnerd.wordpress.com

9/10

taken from Ron’s blog: www.thenorthernnerd.wordpress.com

Written by Thomas Gane

T

he fucks I thought I gave about baking is roughly the same as the amount of fucks I give about the artistic integrity of You Me At Six, middle class white girls who complain about make up and people who think that the cast of Geordie Shore shouldn’t be castrated using an angry honey badger. I was wrong.

We finished mintyfresh last week and once it’d be sent to print, went off to Fuzzy Ducks to get a teensy / massive amount of shit faced. Afterwards I drunkenly stumbled back to the bathimpact office and found my colleagues watching The Great British Bake off. Now I’ve realised for a while that this is a thing but had done my best to pretend it wasn’t. I don’t give a fuck about how fluffy a sponge is in the same way I don’t care about how well minor celebrities can dance, survive in a jungle or fall over on some ice before it cuts to the cunt crying about how hard everything is. Or at least I used to.

The asian guy made what looked like a perfectly good cake, I would’ve bought that shit from Greggs and had a damn good time with it. The angry beardy judge man however was not happy.

Somehow the other people in the office also knew and as the cake thing was cut open sighed and shook their heads. Just, the fuck?

Time and again, it happened. Baked goods were removed from the oven and immediately a decision was made on whether or not they would meet the standards of beardy man and sweet but still mean old lady. Things were cut open, prodded and squeezed and somehow the senses of touch jumped through the TV, into our fingers and transformed into taste by some evil cake based sourcery.

By the last woman, nervous looking blonde one, I’d found myself drawn in. She’d been trying so hard, she was probably safe but it was borderline. The brioche looked good, but then they came to the foreplay touchy feely bit.

And I cared. I really fucking cared.

What fuckery is this, that 20 minutes of poking and prodding had made me care massively about a brioche that I didn’t even get to eat! I don’t bake, I don’t eat much baked goods and I certainly don’t give two shits about it’s structural integrity. The Great British Bake off cannot be trusted!

I’m not sure if this a positive review of the show or a warning, but be careful, this shit is addictive.

Fucking brioche.

Monday 8th October 2012

bite

7

Oppa Gangnam Style!

www.bathimpact.com

KOREA.NET

Written by Helen Edworthy

Witty thing about the funny dance

A

nimated ponies have done it, Klingons have done it, but enough about my sexual fantasies, on to Gangnam Style. Chances are most people don’t exactly know what Psy is saying, or what a ‘Gangnam’ is. Either way, this is the song that’s taking the world by storm and most people probably have no idea where it’s come from. ‘Gangnam Style’ is Korean Pop – K-Pop, for short. It’s in Korean, sung by a Korean (under the stage name ‘Psy’), and ‘Gangnam’ is the most expensive area of Korea’s capital city, Seoul (basically imagine Psy is Jay-Z rep’ing Brooklyn, but in Korean with a funny dance).

People may be wondering, ‘what is this K-Pop, and why has it suddenly exploded out of nowhere?’ The answer is that it hasn’t; K-Pop as a genre started two decades ago, influenced by the Seo Taiji, and then genre-codified by groups like H.O.T.. K-Pop and Korean culture in general have been gaining popularity throughout Asia for the last twenty years, a phenomenon known as the ‘Hallyu Wave’ (see, bite can be factual too). But, while it might be new, K-Pop hasn’t managed to garner international attention on quite the same level as Gangnam Style, despite chances by all of South Korea’s ‘Big Three’ labels to do so. Psy’s own label YG Entertainment’s all-male group ‘Big Bang’ won Best Worldwide Act at the MTV EMAs last year, and the all-female ‘Wonder Girls’ (not to be confused with sad beardy pop punkers) have made the Billboard 100. The biggest name in K-Pop, SM Entertainment, and their highest-paid girl group SNSD (or ‘Girl’s Generation’) last year enjoyed a successful debut in the US with ‘The Boys’ and appeared on several US television shows, but they still didn’t reach Gangnam levels of success (apparently people like odd, middle-aged men not hoards of gorgeous women, who knew?). Possibly it’s because ‘The Boys’ lacks the parody element of Gangnam Style, continuing the problematic trait of K-Pop to take itself far too seriously.

At its heart, K-Pop is mass-produced, fluffy, cookie-cutter pop music, like having sex with a pretty Blue Peter presenter (do you get a badge afterwards?). It’s fun and awesome but at the same time it’s not supposed to be life affirming and you probably won’t brag too much about it (bite, ruining childhoods is our game).

Maybe it’s just because the dance to ‘The Boys’ wasn’t horsey at all, losing the entire equine fetish audience is not a good idea. So, while some people may be wondering where this K-Pop thing has come from, the answer is... Korea. It’s just never got this much attention before.

If you actually want to look into K-Pop and not just dance like a horse, check out Brown Eyed Girls, UKISS, SHINee, and Infinite. Annyeonghaseyo!

Oppa... Battle Born Written by Alex Philpotts

P

retty much everybody reading this will, at some point, have had a conversation along the lines of: “What kind of music do you like?”, “Oh, I like the Killers!”, “...Yeah, everybody likes the Killers.” If you didn’t it’s probably because your friends were listening to Razorlight instead, in which case, go and get some new friends. For years they were one of the staple bands in every good iTunes library across the globe - but that’s not quite who they are anymore, and I’m not sure it’s really who they wanted to be in the first place.

Hot Fuss, their explosive debut, pretty much swallowed the indie music genre whole and spat out it out across dance floors and radio-waves with unfathomable confidence. The lyrics were frequently bewildering - something about a boyfriend who looks like a tranny which I can’t properly follow to this day - but they got into your head and pounded around in there until there was little left but angry synthesized pop-rock. Even then though, and it was a long eight years ago now, there was a twinkle of the Las Vegas dream in their eyes. Have another listen to All The Things That I’ve Done or Andy You’re A Star and see if I’m not wrong.

Three more albums along the road however, what was once a band openly inspired by the likes of Joy Division and The Cure, have created an, at times almost operatic, ode to their Las Vegas homeland, such is the size of their ambition. Sadly, however admirable it might be, wild ambition by itself doesn’t make great music. Lead single Runaways is a solid effort at a Springsteen-inspired heartland rock ballad, but that could just as easily summarise the entire record. The Way it Was, Deadlines and Commitments, the title track, and a host of others are all sucked up in the lofty Americana that swept that first single, and by the end of the album you’ll likely have grown tired of Brandon Flowers’ wailing vocals - in the last forty-odd seconds of Here With Me he hits more high notes than your average X-Factor finalist. It’s great vocally, but nobody listens to music to be impressed by it.

What made those early albums so spectacularly listenable was their unavoidable swagger, both with the guitar and on the synthesizer, and much of that has been thrown away here to allow Flowers’ voice to strut across every track. The rest of the Killers have – please pardon the pun – some killer moments, the standout of which is a roaring guitar riff that grabs The Rising Tide by its throat, but those moments are few and far between. It’s a pity; Brandon Flowers’ has had his moment in the spotlight with his solo album whilst they were on hiatus, but he doesn’t seem to have gotten it out of his system, instead Battle Born feels closer to a follow up to Flamingo than it does an evolution from Day & Age. Nevertheless, there is cause for a bit of optimism. From Here On Out is a bouncy tune rounded off with the longest Brandon-free instrumental on the album, and a sample from Mr.

Brightside in Miss Atomic bomb hints that the Killers might not yet have forgotten where they came from. Unfortunately, that’s about as much of a hint of their glory days as you’ll find on this record, so if you came looking for a hark back to vintage Killers, then you’ll be better off looking to the likes of Spector.

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Monday 8th October 2012

Monday 8th October 2012

bite bite

9

www.bathimpact.com www.bathimpact.com

mystery woman 1

Bath University Fashion

bite Hot • Skinny jeans and facial hair. Seriously look at MTV sometime we wouldn’t be surprised if Adele started rocking the look sometime soon.

• Ironic t-shirts, because stupid people think it’s cool, smart people think it’s a joke, also cool.

• People who get Nathan Barley jokes • Bow ties, bow ties are cool. And Fez’s, Fez’s are cool.

• Zooey Deschanel when she’s not being a magic pixie dream girl... oh fuck • Tattoos of peoples face’s on other peoples face’s.

• Oh my god Axel, he is so hot right now.

“A beautiful mix of feminism and urban style, the yellow touch of the skirt contrasted by the leather jacket makes the perfect outfit for this young lady, completed by the perfectly matched hat.”

• Regina George • People who get Star Wars jokes • Angry People

bite Not

mystery woman 2

“We have to be honest and admit this was the best-dressed freshers we have seen on campus until now, impressing us with their high-heels, Russian inspired fur hat and vest, as well as the army printed coat.”

Bath University Fashion

• • • • • • • •

• • •

Hollister t-shirts in the gym.

Hollister t-shirts outside of the gym.

Hollister t-shirts that aren’t on fire.

Those jeans with the stupid baggy bit in the middle bit.

People who don’t get Star Wars jokes or people who write Star Wars jokes.

People who actually watch MTV. Anyone who uses the word “banter” without a hint of irony People who say carpe diem instead of saying YOLO because they think they’re better than people who say YOLO when in fact they’re still fucking idiots who should have their faces hurt. ... people who say YOLO. Michael Gove Wearing high heels despite the fact that they really fucking painful because misogyny’s still a thing.

Best Dressed

Bath University Fashion

Bath Freshers Style Watch with

mystery woman 3

bite Best Dressed

by Worthington Thomas

I had a dream at some point after my adolescence. It involved myself having a relationship with a sickeningly skinny man with IBS and bow tie (before Matt Smith made it cool!). The following is about how if you wish hard enough dreams can become reality.

Once upon a day quite merry, while lounged before Tom and/ or Jerry, Over many a quaint and curious male fashion picture While I nodded, nearly fapping, suddenly there came a tapping As of someone gently rapping, rapping on my phone ringtone. “‘Tis someone calling,” I muttered, “rapping on my phone ringtone.

Just give me a minute, I am alone.”

Ah, distinctly I remember, the picture sent, timestamped December, And with each separate dying spurt, “KY gone!” I cry, hurt Eagerly I opened Grindr, - luckily it was a blinder From Facebook surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost ex-guy For the rare and radiant man whom Zuckerberg tagged “fly” Nameless on left, in delight I cry And the silken sad uncertain rustling of the green bow tie Thrilled me – filled with fantastic tremours only felt just before; So that now, to still the beating of my hand, I stood depleting And so faintly you came calling, at midnight, my door walked through Some late visitor entreating entrance; my own doctor who, “sorry mate, I need to poo!”

With compliments to Edgar Allen Po

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Monday 8th October 2012

Fashion

bite www.bathimpact.com

Keep Calm, Stay Classic written by Sophia Guilfoyle

I

t’s the beginning of term, the student loan has finally come through and we all know how tempting it is to head straight to Southgate with your bursting bank card. However, what many forget is that this money needs to get you pretty far and whilst no one will stop you spending all your money on clothes - independence is a great thing - it’s not a great idea. But do not panic, achieving a classic style doesn’t have to break the bank, it can be easily achieved with just a few key pieces. If you spend your money on the key items you’ll be well on your way to getting a classic style and slipping perfectly in to the daily Parade catwalk.

There are 5 essential items every girl needs in her wardrobe.

Firstly a little (not necessarily black) dress – ideal for Monday night at Second Bridge. Choosing a dress that works with your body shape is the key to knowing what you’ll look good in, so make sure you accentuate your positives! As Coco Chanel said “fashion is an architecture – it’s a matter of proportion”. Simple lines and colours can help really well.

Secondly a fashionable pair of sturdy shoes are a must, especially as the time will come when you have to trek up Bathwick hill! These cute Chelsea boots are ideal for the autumn season. A real leather bargain and cheaper than buying knee high boots (although if you can afford them – do it). The only downside is that by the end of October everyone will have similar, if not exactly the same boots.

Quality jeans are a must, but Disco Pants are very on trend.

Surprisingly flattering and incredibly useful on those chilly wintery nights when wearing a skirt is not a viable option. A good alternative when heading out on the town, but also acceptable daywear, American Apparel are selling them at a staggering £74, however the online store Match Clothing are letting them go for a mere £29.99!

Living in our fair country has its disadvantages, the biggest one being the slightly chilly weather. As temperatures drop make sure that you stay warm with a snuggly scarf. This snood from Urban Outfitters would be perfect for those icy days on campus.

The tailored round neck jacket is a very popular must-buy item. The style has transitioned from the lighter summer edition straight-through to this elegant autumn version. Its neutral colour means it’s very adaptable and is the ideal jacket for any outfit. This jacket is an investment that will be loved again and again each year.

H&M are doing similar styles for slightly less, whilst Zara’s jackets are a little higher in price. It’s important to try on as many jackets as possible until you find the one that frames your figure perfectly.

It might even come in handy for casual job interviews – and will show you have style as well as brains!

1

1. Raw Edge Zip Boucle Jacket £65 Topshop 2. Navy Disco Pants £29.99 Match Clothing 3. Striped Snood £24.00 Urban Outfitters 4. April Classic Chelsea Boots £62.00 Topshop 5. Aqua Floyd Dress Structured Skater with Metal Section Belt £115 Asos

3.

2.

5.

4.

Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

Agony Uncle

11

Our agony uncle is here to solve all your problems with caring, kind and eloquent words.

Cleverer than even the wisest scholars, better looking than a male underwear model and richer than a homeless person, his sage advice pierces to the heart of everyproblem and solves it with startling ease.

He is a god.

Dear Agony Uncle

Dear Agony Uncle

Dear Agony Uncle

I’ve had a great first week at uni and most of my flatmates seem really lovely. But one of my flatmates has been using my milk without asking. I know someone must be stealing it because I always use a permanent marker to mark the level of my milk! I don’t what to do, it’s really distressing me!

Every time I leave my computer all my friends frape me!

It’s becoming a real pain and it’s really embarrassing when my mum keeps calling me to find out if I’m really ‘in a relationship’ with my hand! I just can’t take it anymore!

The other day I accidentally got so drunk I slept with one of my course mates. I thought the whole experience was magical. But now she’s ignoring me and is pretending nothing happened!

Hector Entwistle

Unhappy and mortified Lactose Intolerable Dear Lactose

Dear Moron

Dear Hector

This behavior is categorically unacceptable. You need to crack down on this kind of thing early, before it gets out of hand. My advice is to fight fire with fire and because you don’t know exactly which flatmate it is, to pour a little bit of everyone’s milk down the sink until the culprit steps forward. If after a week no one owns up to the crime up the ante and begin stealing their cheese (because it’s expensive) and meat (because that’s expensive too) and finally if you still can’t solve this mystery then set fire to your kitchen. Because fire doesn’t discriminate.

Log off Facebook when you’re done you fucking moron.

The most important thing you need to keep in mind when dealing with this sort of situation is that conflict is good. You should confront this girl in a crowded public place and ask why her she doesn’t love you any more. Crying whilst you ask her is sure to do wonders for your relationship as girls always love a man who can wear his emotions on his sleeve. If she continues to ignore you after this then it’s obvious she’s just shy, so will most likely need a larger declaration of your feelings for her. We suggest a tattoo of her name, or if you can’t afford that make do with a t-shirt with a picture of both of your faces. I’ve never met a girl who doesn’t want to jump straight back into bed with me after she’s seen one of those bad boys.

andjohan

Uncle

Uncle

Agony Aunts Uncle

Because here at bite we’re all about gender equality we felt we should also turn to our Agony Aunts for help amd made them promise not to insult the people that emailed in looking for help. They agreed (well to a certain extent) so now they’re going to be helping you with all your feelings (eurgh) and wet hug problems. If you have any problems, email in at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk and they’ll promise not to laugh.

Dear Lucy and Edie, In Freshers’ Week, I ended up getting really drunk and slept with one of my flatmates. He’s ignored me since and is pretending that nothing happened. I already feel homesick and I don’t have anyone in the flat I can talk to about things. What can I do? Please help!

Anonymous Firstly, ‘shitting on your own doorstep’ is something that a lot

of people tend to in Fresher’s Week. Some people get incredibly drunk and actually literally do this (see the guy who lived in the house next door to us last year. During mintyfresh we also got so many stories from freshers who apparently think that shitting on steps and chairs is funny… why? Like, why?), and some people end up sleeping with their housemates, which is fine as long as you’re both adults, consenting blah blah legal bullshit. Basically, as long you want the same things out of it then do all the naked shit you want (not literally, well it could be literal I guess… I’m not judging but it’s not for me. I mean how could you look that person in the eye again and what about the cleaning up afterwards and … sorry I’m getting off topic, just don’t shit on each other okay).

However, this guy is clearly being a dick about the fact that you slept together. Either: a) he could genuinely not remember and is just being himself around you, which just so happens to be a bit moronic (but try and be a bit patient, men are mostly idiots with small brains that reside mostly in their penii) ; b) he’s really shy and actually really likes you and is too nervous to bring it up and, as a result, tries to avoid you (try and be a bit patient, men are mostly idiots with small brains that reside mostly in their penii) or c) he’s just being a dick because he got what he wanted and doesn’t need to be nice to you anymore (lad, ha ha ha… fuck off).

You have several options: ignore him right back and just accept that things will be awkward and weird for a while (cold shoulder works both ways, in fact it usually works better on men as men are blah blah in their penii). You could try and make an effort with him and see if you can get to know him, he might not be so bad once he opens up. After all, loads of people end up meeting their future spouses at University and drunken words like “I want to tickle your kidney and lose my watch in you”, “I want to climb you like a tree” and finally “oh, I’m sorry, it usually works better, it’ll work properly next time”, are basically the same as “O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! Her beauty hangs upon the cheek of night, like a rich jewel in an Ethiop’s ear; Beauty too rich

for use, for earth too dear!”

Or just be blunt with him and, if you have feelings for him, tell him and see how he feels, and if you don’t, explain that it was just a drunken thing and that you want to be friends (make sure you speak slowly as men are mostly idiots with small brains that reside mostly in their penii).

If he’s still being a douche then I guess the only option is to kill him, or tell all your friends he has a small dick (we don’t always have to be mature now do we?).

Dear Lucy and Edie, I think I’m getting a cold but my flatmate told me I have Freshers’ Flu. What is Freshers’ Flu and how do I get rid of it?

Annie Hello Annie. Freshers’ Flu is the name given to the horrible illness you often get after Freshers’ Week. It can last for just a few days if you’re lucky but is known to carry on for several weeks.

Freshers’ Flu is characterised by a feeling of intense tiredness, typical symptoms of the common cold, an unwillingness to attend any lectures and general hating of the world. As a Fresher, it is highly likely that you’re suffering from Freshers’ Flu (cold nights and togas, fun at the time!), but if you’re not already, you will undoubtedly catch it in the first week of lectures, which, by the way, you won’t be able to hear a word of due to the immense amount of coughing going on. You could try the medically-approved approach of Sudafed, hot water with honey and lemon and lots of sleep. Or you could man up and make your way down to XL, the place where dreams go to die and the toilet floors are super comfy to take a nap on.

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Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

The bite Guide to Chilling

Most people are fucking idiots, that’s definitely a thing. Sadly, it’s frowned upon to tell each and every person that you meet exactly

why they’re a fucking idiot and consequently why they deserve to be trapped inside the blow up advertising doll outside Pizza Hut

near Oldfield Park for all eternity. I realise that this is a very specific reference, but have you seen the horrified look in it’s eyes?

Cupcake Corner, with BakeSoc Written by Poonam Mandalia

S

Poonam Mandalia

o in the last couple of years baking has suddenly come back into fashion again, thanks to celebrities admitting that the once laughably stereotypical idea of women in the kitchen has become kitsch and cool. Of course discovery that baking can become gripping reality TV (anybody else surprised at how intense an old lady checking the sponginess of a brioche can be?) helped too.

Cupcakes are a good choice for most beginners and can be dressed up and down for all occasions. With the rise of cupcake shops popping up all over the country, the question is; what’s your favourite? Hands down, mine is the red velvet cupcake, chocolaty but not overly so and with a slightly tangy cream cheese frosting which is a great alternative to butter cream and far nicer than roll on sugar paste. After trying and failing to make some in the comfort of my own home I’ve come up with a (mostly) fool-proof recipe.

• • • • • •

• • •

• • • • •

60g unsalted butter, at room temperature 150g caster sugar 1 egg 10g cocoa powder 2tsp of red food colouring (I prefer a powder but you can use pastes or liquids) ½tsp vanilla extract 100 ml sour cream (thank you Nigella for this tip) 150g plain flour ½tsp salt ½tsp bicarbonate of soda 1½tsp white wine vinegar (don’t worry you won’t taste it)

• • •

W

•

hile the cakes are baking make up the frosting. Beat the icing W sugar and butter using an electric mixer (can’t recommend them enough).

Add the cold cream cheese and beat at high speed until completely mixed, do not beat for more than 5 because the mix will get too warm and runny and won’t hold when piped.

When the cakes are cooled either pipe the frosting on or spread with a palette knife starting with a big blob spreading all the way round the cake to the edges by maintain contact and working clockwise. To finish; swirl anti-clockwise with a bit of a flourish to give the cake and artistic peak.

Sprinkle on a little cocoa powder or chocolate shaving to finish and enjoy!

Keeping It Casual

e’re gamers. For the most part we shout and we scream at the telly when we die. We hurl profanities down microphones to strangers a world apart and friends in the next room alike. We act like petulant children and say that a boss is too hard or that weapons are clearly imbalanced. But why? Just because it’s the most common way to play doesn’t make it the only way. There is another way to game and it’s calm, collected, and a fresh change of pace.

If I said gaming casually was different to casual games I would probably get a confused look off a hefty proportion of people. While casual/social games such as the various Facebook/Zynga addiction machines may be derided by self-proclaimed “hardcore” gamers (myself included on occasion), these aren’t the games I’m referring to. What I’m talking about is just sitting down and taking a stroll through your sandbox game of choice. Whether it’s GTA, Red Dead Redemption or Skyrim, it’s all the same. Hit the road with no objectives (and that includes the mischievous non-productive goals such as getting to 5 stars as quickly as possible, hog-tying as many people as you can to one horse, or simply putting an arrow through the knee of every person you meet) and just look around. Every once in a while it’s nice to

written by Ron Morrow

take in the vast landscape and the hidden details you’d normally miss while bashing an Orc’s brains in. When you consider that a team of developers spent months creating it for your enjoyment it’s nice to take notice. They might not know you’re doing it, but if they did I’m sure they’d appreciate it.

Then of course there is the new breed of not-quite-sureif-they’re-really-a-game games. Recently I played through a “game” called Dear Esther that you might not have heard of if you mainly stick to the mainstream titles. The reason the word game has to used lightly here is that there is no interaction; you can walk, look around and click to zoom in, but that’s it. By utilising a very interesting use of narrative it can be played through in a few hours in a laid back style while creating an entirely intriguing experience. Then there are titles from Thatgamecompany such as Flower and Journey, designed entirely to provoke emotional responses. In Journey the aim is simply to reach a point in distance, with the only platforming tools you possess being the ability to walk and jump. Playing online leads you to meet anonymous others along your way and form fleeting relationships in an otherwise vast and lonesome landscape. Combined with a number of other titles on the Xbox Live Arcade and Playstation Network, there are plenty of games to play on a hungover

MarcXphotography

3 00g icing sugar, sifted 50g unsalted butter, at room temperature

reheat oven to 180 C P Fill a 12 hole cupcake tray with cases Combine the butter and the caster sugar in a bowl with an electric mixer until light and fluffy (about 2-3 mins) or beat well with a wooden spoon and elbow grease.

Add the egg and beat for a further 2-3 mins at a high speed.

In a separate bowl mix the food colouring, vanilla extract and cocoa butter with a spoon of sour cream. Add this to the buttersugar-egg combo and mix thoroughly.

Pour in half the sour cream and half the flour and beat slowly Repeat until all of the flour and sour cream is combined totally for a smooth deep red colour with no white streaks.

Add vinegar and bicarbonate of soda and beat slowly Spoon mixture into cases, about 2/3 full (mechanical ice cream scoops are PERFECT for the exact right amount of batter).

Bake for 20-25 mins, use a skewer to check they are baked; it should come out clean.

For the frosting:

For the cream cheese frosting: • •

125g cream cheese, cold right out the fridge

For the Cakes

• •

For the red velvet cupcakes: • • • • •

•

afternoon spent lounging on the sofa while you recover.

Of course there also the classic chilled games such as Animal Crossing, the Professor Layton series, and Wii Sports (yes, Nintendo seems to dominate this category). While they might not be the most challenging games in the world, they are fun, and every once in a while slowing the pace a little might just do you a bit of good.

Monday 8th October 2012

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13

The Fuck Out, Man www.bathimpact.com

There’s a deep and desperate despair in there.

Anyway, as we can’t deliver creative and horrific punishments every time ridiculous shitty

noise pours forth from the face holes of idiots, we’ve had to find more socially acceptable ways to quash the rage that builds up after too much

human content. It’s mostly folk music, baking and books, but who doesn’t love that shit?

Mumford and Sons: Babel written by Holly Narey

Mumford and Sons are the darlings of England. They’re partially to be thanked for the UK’s explosion into nu-folk of a few years ago, and their universal fame makes them a favourite export.

Their last album was made up of songs drawing on strong literary themes, and sung by wholesome, well-dressed young men who mothers wanted as their sons and who daughters wanted as their boyfriends (some mothers also definitely wanted them as their boyfriends, but didn’t want to admit this in front of their husbands).

Having heard their previous album so many times over the past few years, it’s actually quite a strange experience hearing all of these new songs in one go. It does, however, sound slightly familiar. It’s nice to know they’ve got a few more earthy ballads in them, but it’s going to take more than just the word “fuck” placed in a quiet bit of a song to change their image to something more edgy.

It’s just so… Mumford and Sons, their success has almost made it impossible for them to grow as a band without alienating some of their fan base.

They wrote this on the road, and it sounds as though they wrote

it so they’d never have to leave it. I feel almost as though I’ve already been screaming along to the title track, Babel, at a festival; it appears to have been custom-written for this very purpose. The album takes some darker turns; Ghosts That We Knew is pretty much as melancholy as they get, quiet and reflective, but of course, slowly building to redemption. The themes aren’t revolutionary; love, more love, being sad in the absence of a lady friend, love, being strong and manly, strife in love, being sad, and then a couple more bits about love.

They haven’t done anything revolutionary with this album, they haven’t reinvented themselves or tried to shake up their style, at times they may throw in a few more brass instruments, which in my opinion is always welcome, but it’s harmless. A lot of people will probably love it. What do I mean, “probably”? It’s already become the fastest selling album of 2012 both in the UK and the US. Whether it’s worth that accolade or not is debatable (it isn’t), but it’s bumping down Taylor Swift to number 10, so I guess I can live with it.

The XX: Coexist written by Robert Page

The xx are not a band that should be even mildly popular in 2012, nowadays we need everything now and it needs to be shiny.

The xx are a band that revels in only using the bare minimum to achieve their sound. Defying all expectations their 2009 debut ‘xx’ scooped the 2010 Mercury Prize and won wide spread critical acclaim. Instead of rushing into the studio for a follow up, the band dropped off the radar, taking their time to ensure that that they did not become a one-hit-wonder. This, it turns out, was a generally good move.

The result of this hard work is Coexist, an album that has been meticulously crafted over a long period of time and retains the almost organic feel that was so great about the bands debut. Opening track Angels lets you know immediately what is in store, with lead singer Romy Madley-Croft gently singing along to melodic guitars. There are several points in the album where any other

band would allow the song to ‘drop’ into guitar solos or bass hooks, but The xx show remarkable restraint and vision to consistently get to this point and then retreat back into their soothing melodies. Other highlights include the brilliant Try which immediately sucks you in and holds on until even the most stressed person would need a little sleep. Overall this is what makes the album different, the ability to simultaneously relax you and still be, paradoxically, uplifting.

However, taking the album as a whole into account, there is not enough progression for me to be satisfied that this is a band here for the long -haul. The sound is almost identical to that of xx and while this is not a bad thing in itself, is potentially limiting. Of course it could just be the sound of a band trying to get past their difficult second album (cliché alert!). I hope that is the case because The xx are a special band trying to be something different.

It’s Not Just Harry Potter written by Rachel Fletcher

As a die-hard Potter-head I have full faith in everything J.K. Rowling puts her name to, which has caused me much disappointment over the years. ‘The Casual Vacancy’, sadly being one of those disappointments.

Her first novel for adults and an observation of the lives of the residents of the “pretty little town of Pagford”, Rowling’s highly anticipated novel, The Casual Vacancy’s inside cover boasts it to be “a big novel about a small town”, and in true Rowling style, at 503 pages it is indeed a big novel.

Pagford is a small West Country town, and the novel an insight to the lives of its inhabitants, exposing the shady secrets that lie below the town’s pretty, tourist-friendly disguise. The setting could not be more juxtaposed to the wonderful, wizarding world of ‘Harry Potter’. Pagford is exquisitely normal, and its inhabitants normal. However, against this extremely dull setting; Rowling demonstrates her exceptional talent for the conception

of authentic, relatable characters far beyond the scopes of Potter. Cleverly intertwining the lives of the “Pagfordians”as they muddle through the horrors of everyday life and the real world.

Rowling puts her characters through death, rape, Heroin addiction, self-harm, abuse and the woes that come with both family and town politics. A cynic may say she was trying a little bit too hard to make ‘The Casual Vacancy’ everything that ‘Harry Potter’ isn’t. The way in which the very easy-to-read flow of her writing is abrupt by harsh expletives and graphic sex-scenes so scattered and unbefitting certainly supports this view. There seems to be this constant need to remind the reader “this is an adult’s book!”.

The Casual Vacancy is not a life-changing novel, it neither horrifying nor introspective. It will not scare or move you. It is however, an easy read. And I can’t help but wonder whether Rowling’s name on the front cover will be a help or hindrance in the books reception. It quite simply is not ‘Harry Potter’!

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Monday 8th October 2012

bite www.bathimpact.com

facebook.com/mintyfresh

Best Dressed Club Thomas Gane

Monday 8th October 2012 Thomas Gane

Issue 1

While we enjoyed the formalness of Hockey and the down and dirty commandos of Netball. The Cheerleaders capes, bright colours (we’re like magpies) and lycra (plus a willingless to befriend security and get off with each other in the background of pictures) did it for us (... and clearly each other).

Elliott Campbell

Monumental Tit of The Night

Bath Snowsports, hanging out with Rory Mclrroy lookalikes and trading cigarettes for dignity since 1962

T

hey said it couldn’t be done. They said we were mad.

They said... Actually they said nothing, but we like drama. Anyway, an executive decision has been made, after months of debate and countless meetings, and mintyfresh, everyone’s favourite multi-coloured bit of paper to read when you’re hungover, is going to be continuing throughout the year. This should give both freshers and their elders a chance to immortalise themselves in what they do when they’ve had one too many shandys. Despite months of debate and countless meetings we’re actually really unorganised (maybe we also have too many shandys) and only got permission to cover the first Score of the year about an hour before the first Score of the year so we couldn’t really do a whole lot. Still, we’ll be better prepared from now on and we’ll be at Fuzzy Ducks and Score every week (probably, as previously stated we’re unorganised, like Shandy and are pretty lazy).

Enough with the preamble, on with Score. Most of the sto-

Knock, knock, guess who’s at your door. It is the TV crew.

You might have spotted us during Freshers’ Week or perhaps been on one of our refresh Video. But do you really know who we are? No we are not creepy stalkers with massive cameras, nor CCTV. We are your friendly Campus Television. Throughout Freshers’ Week, were responsible for the sexy refresh videos, the cheeky text messaging service and the most unfathomable live camera feed from within the Sports Hall. No, Still no idea who we are? Well in that case, head to our Youtube

ries come from Snowsports who were the most chatty / ridiculous. The night included, but was not limited to only giving cigarettes to people who kissed Bandy’s shoe, a series of weird multiple person kisses and generally only buying Jager Bombs in numbers above 10 (top marks considering this wasn’t even the first official social).

Other highlights included the mix of face painted ladies and well-dressed men (bitching band name anyone?) from Hockey and two people fighting (literally forcing each other’s heads down into it) to enforce the ‘spillage is lickage’ rule. We were also interested (slightly scared) by the fact sports people are far more eager / aggressive in trying to get their pictures / stories heard than freshers, with our reporters literally being fought over in a cartoon way as two different sports teams played tug of war across the dance floor with them.

That’s about it for the first installment, but we will return in two weeks. Bigger and better than ever (well, than this time).

page (BathCTV) to check our groovy and gorgeous videos, or follow us on Twitter @BathCTV or check us out on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bathctv.

Ever felt like you’re wildly talented, and frankly have some free time to spare? Well TV is just made for you!!!! From looking pretty in front a camera to bossing people around on our studio set, there is a wide range of interesting jobs for you.

Our new offices are located just opposite President Chris ‘Clemmo’ Clements’ Office in the SU corridor (Level 3) of the 1 East Building. Feel free to pop in and say hi!

This is Special Josh from god knows where (we didn’t really want to find out) who managed to stumble into the bathimpact office at about 1.30am last night smelling reasonably strongly of a beery chundery mix. When asked why he had decided to grace us with his presence he said he was kicked out because “the bouncers couldn’t handle my banter”, but he still considered it a good night because “at least I didn’t get arrested”. Slightly frothing at the mouth, he decided that he wanted “to buy tickets to our show” and proceeded to tell us all his log in details as he was too drunk to type / remember them himself.

Somehow he managed to get onto the bus and through a mix of the vomit like smell he gave off and the verbal vomit that spewed out out of his mouth (“I don’t know anyone with a name with two I’s. If anyone has a name with two I’s I won’t talk to them”) managed to alienate everyone in his near vicinity to the extent that by the time we arrived two people had left the bus so as not to punch him. Top tit.

Quote of The Night “I was throwing up in the toilet while Tom sang to me, and that’s what snowsports is all about!”

Slightly intoxicated Snowsports committee member giving a fresher the lowdown on the extremely professional and competitive nature of the club.

Monday 8th October 2012

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15

www.bathimpact.com Our mystic is speaking to the stars on your behalf to find out the secrets of your futures. He was self-taught for six years, until a wizened old tramp taught him the ways of the universe in exchange for a hand job. He stares at the stars every night wondering what does it all really mean and how do they make shreddies crosshatched? He once saw a ghost. Or thought he did, acid makes things weird. He also hates Kiwis, along with all hairy fruits, like what the fuck? Fruit should be smooth, like Butch’s chat up lines.

Ooh so magic

 Libra

 Scorpio

 Sagittarius

For quite a few of you Libra’s out there...

Go, go, go, go, Go, go, go, shawty ‘Cause it’s your birthday We gon’ party like it’s yo birthday We gon’ sip Bacardi like it’s yo birthday And you know we don’t give a fuck that it’s not your birthday (but this time it is! Fuck yeah!)

Vague things will happen that may have an adverse effect on your life, but maybe not.

Vague people with vague descriptions and vague actions will enter your love life and they may improve it, but maybe not. Vague deeds by vague colleagues in your vague workplace in the vague future could get you fired, but maybe not. See, I can do ‘real’ horoscopes too.

John Terry will shit on everything you love.

 C apricorn

 Aquarius

 Pisces

Kittens and puppies will frolic around you all day and cuddle you to sleep at night. Emma Watson and Zooey Deschanel will cook you beautiful meals and then welcome you to their lovemaking. Money will literally fall out of your ...

I can’t lie like this. You’re going to be Leia in Chris Moyles’ Jabba The Hut fantasy... try and think about the other stuff. Sorry.

You’ve been troubled lately Aquarius, but when in doubt, what would lil Wayne do?

This week you’ll gentlemanly offer to walk a girl home and she’ll ask you if you want a cup of tea and you’ll innocently say yes.

Then she’ll ask if you want to watch Family Guy and you like Family Guy, so you say yes again. Then you’ll fall asleep and she’ll try to straddle you... oh shit, sorry this is Butch’s horoscope from last week...

Classic Butch (love you really).

September 23 - October 22

December 22 - January 20

 A ries

March 21 - April 20

Fuck you and the noise that comes out of your face hole.

October 23 - November 21

January 21 - February 19

“Bitch stop playing, I do it like a king do”.

Do you do it like a king do?

Do you Aquarius? Don’t lie to yourself.

It’s time to start doing it like a king do Aquarius. It’s time.

June 21 - July 21

February 20 - March 20

 Taurus

 Gemini

Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!

Don’t have sex in the missionary position, don’t have sex standing up, just don’t do it, OK, promise?

Memorise this, Satire - noun 1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

April 21 - May 20

OK, now everybody take some rubbers.

 Cancer

November 22 - December 21

 Leo

July 22 - August 22

May 21 - June 20

 Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Life message for you today Cancer Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!

Whether it’s murder, mayhem or rage Don’t complain, it’s a pain! Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay!

Sometimes you get sad Leo and that’s okay. But when I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story.

Learn from this.

Imagine funny shit here

If you get this, we like you.

If you get this, we like you.

If you get this, we like you.

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Monday 8th October 2012

bite

Puzzle Corner

www.bathimpact.com

written by Elliott Campbell

This is an easy sudoku

And this is a hard sudoku

And that bad ass mother fucker on the right is a Samurai Sudoko.

Beautiful isn’t?

I think so.

Cartoon Corner drawn by Darius N.

To see more of Darius’ cartoons, visit: www.gonescribbling.tumblr.com

Across

Down

1. One who fears or lives in fear (7) 5. Temporary place of residence (7) 6. The heavenly dwelling of the Norse gods (6) 9. One who brags about their achievements (7) 10. A perennial herbaceous plant of almost treelike size (6) 11. An elaborate song for a solo voice (4) 13. A title in Spain formerly given to noblemen and gentlemen (3) 15. An elaborate, outdoor party (4) 17. Without joy, gladness or comfort (9) 18. Bear some of the responsibility for an action or process, esp. a criminal or harmful one (10) 21. An arm exercise performed by pulling oneself up on a horizontal bar (4-2) 23. Long exercised in anything, especially military life (7) 25. A fencing sword similar to a foil but with a heavier blade (4) 26. Walking corpses (7) 27. The god of the underworld (from Greek mythology) (5) 28. Of a very dark black (4) 29. To fight slightly or in small parties (8)

2. Keen to do something (5) 3. A male deer, particularly an adult male red deer (4) 4. Someone who roves in quest of plunder (8) 7. A small low motor vehicle with four wheels and an open framework (4-2) 8. Preceding all others in time (8) 12. A sudden breaking off in the middle of a sentence as if unable or unwilling to proceed (11) 14. An attack, especially a furious one. (9) 16. Remove something that has been rejected (4) 19. Assist or encourage, usually in some wrongdoing (4) 20. Eating food of both animal and vegetable origin (10) 22. A legendary hero who slew the Gorgon Medusa (7) 24. Having the power to awaken or excite (7)