A drugs problem? Business page 12
this – my only problem is that Higher Education has actually always cost this much. The issue with the cost of Higher Education is the fact that the government made two mistakes. The first mistake is the fact that they decided that it would be a good idea to shift the burden of the total cost of education onto the students themselves where as previously the bulk of Higher Education was funded through taxes, in the same way as primary and secondary education. While Higher Education isn’t something that everybody necessarily wants or needs (like healthcare, for instance), it is something that generally benefits people in the long run. What the government have done by shifting the burden of the other £6000 onto individual students and/or their families is scare people. While a student doesn’t ever
by government and the inherent problem with them is in the name. Having a ‘loan’ seems like a scary prospect; ‘loans’ denote debt and repossession, and scary people in banks telling you terrifying things. ‘Loans’ put off entire groups of the population, such as lower-income families who are scared by the prospect, and certain religions (for example, Islam isn’t exactly keen on loans’). For all the coalition’s talk of trying to get more students into Higher Education, they’re not exactly going about it the right way if they’re using terminology that actually puts off entire sections of the population. What they should have done was call it a student ‘tax’, and make it clear that it functions in the same way. Repaying student loans works in the same way as taxes; you only start to pay it back once you are earning over
which didn’t help anybody (least of all themselves). I am in agreement with the NUS protest. The idea of Higher Education being free and publicly funded is a good one, whether it is something that eventually gets implemented or not. But even more than that; the fact that the NUS can potentially mobilise so many students for a singular purpose is a great thing. It does wonders for the stereotype of uncaring youth, provided the protest remains peaceful, that is. There is also going to be a Question Time with our local Lib Dem MP on October 26th where students will also be given another opportunity to voice their interests and discuss what the point of the #demo2012 should be about. What the outcome of it will be is something to keep an eye on.
and messages of hope have all been offered up to her friends and family. All of these touching acts have been well-documented by the media and
home safely? So surely the media should offer this potentially lifesaving coverage to all missing children?
Missing
April Jones Case Comment page 7
Romance Special Equal and fair media coverage
see bite in the centre of the paper
bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper
Volume 14 Issue 3
Monday 22nd October 2012
www.bathimpact.com
THE MANY FACES OF bathimpact
special report An undercover investigation Full report on pages 4-5
‘WELCOME SOCIALS’
2
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Editorials
www.bathimpact.com
Tweeting on the side of caution
B
efore anyone makes a prejudgement on this editorial, let’s address the fact that bathimpact does not agree with any opinions aiming to make light of or insult April Jones or her family. However, we also do not agree with the fact that 20 year old Lancashire man Matthew Woods was jailed for twelve weeks for expressing such sentiments and we believe this is another example of how social media laws can punish people for what they post online. This is mostly a matter of freedom of speech and to what extent it should be applied. When editing work, this newspaper tends to go by whether or not it is well written or makes a point. If it does then it deserves to be read by the wider public. bathimpact may completely disagree with the points a contributor is making but that cannot preclude it from publication. Censorship is a dangerous tool as someone is deciding what is and what isn’t acceptable for public discussion rather than letting the public decide for themselves. If an article is deemed to be offensive then other writers can offer a rebuttal, the original article is discredited and the public have proved that whatever topic that was being
discussed was one that has no place in society. That is ultimately how democracy works. The right to free speech is not the right to what someone deems to be ‘correct’; it extends to the idiots too. In this case Matthew Woods was an idiot. Everyone who saw his comment didn’t need to be told that by the powers that be. It’s also important to note that progressions made by society were often made by people who were censored or punished for advocating them, and again in no way is this paper saying Matthew Woods is amongst these people, but we can never just assume that we know best. To most of you, this probably seems irrelevant as you are all intelligent individuals so are unlikely to write anything crude about something you see on the news. However, the reason Matthew Woods and Liam Stacey were prosecuted for their views posted on social media sites is that posting on them counts as publication. What this means is that every time you tweet you should be abiding by the same laws that bathimpact and any other media outlet must abide by. This is clearly ridiculous. If an actual publication wants to publish a story then there are many different things that must
be taken into consideration before a story is published. Ethics, relevance and obviously profit are all discussed, so eventually an informed decision is made to distribute it to the public. If an offhand tweet or comment is considered to be in the same vein as such an intense process then the line between the public and private sphere is becoming increasingly blurred. Moving on from the debate about whether this is acceptable, think of the implications that this may have on your life directly. Students are usually more progressive with their views and generally don’t have time to be offended by things as easily as the older generation, who tend to write and enforce the laws, because they’re too busy working or being hungover. As such certain jokes or turns of phrase tend to get lost in translation and what is intended to be edgy, youth-orientated humour is deemed to be offensive and potentially illegal. Disregarding anything ridiculous you may post about hating a certain band, or thinking a certain politician is idiotic, have you ever sent a tweet complaining about how boring a lecture was or how inadequate you thought a member of staff was? Therefore, every time you
Rowan Emslie Editor-in-Chief impact-editor@bath.ac.uk
tweeted something similar to that you were legally publishing your views and as such could have been libelled by the lecturer and disciplined by the University with potentially serious repercussions. Freedom of speech? Hardly. Obviously this is speaking figuratively, and we assume most lecturers and staff would not lose sleep over someone far younger and most likely less knowledgeable than them not enjoying a lecture, but this is clearly a problem in policy. If every time someone told you that you needed to improve at something you’d complained and made it impossible for anyone to criticise you, would you have made it to one of the top 10 universities in the country? If this spiel has done nothing but make you be a little bit more careful about what you post or tweet or blog or whatever your preferred means of procrastination is, then it has been a success and has fulfilled our aim. However, hopefully you will consider free speech and how certain laws in relation to social media might be restricting it, creating a potentially dangerous hazy and narrowing divide between the public and private domains.
Elliott Campbell Deputy Editor impact-deputy@bath.ac.uk
Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk
Liv Hows News and Comment Editor impact-news@bath.ac.uk
Benjamin Butcher Features Editor impact-features@bath.ac.uk
Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk
Caleb Wheeler-Robinson Photography Editor impact-photo@bath.ac.uk
Katharine Agg IT Officer impact-it@bath.ac.uk
Scarlett Clark Publicity Officer impact-publicity@bath.ac.uk
Shying away from sexism is gone
T
his year at bathimpact, our aim is to cover and discuss some difficult and controversial subjects, especially those which affect the University of Bath’s students. For this issue, one running theme that we are looking into is the topic of sexism. However this isn’t just a media centred problem. It is one that affects the whole of society. Take the case of Jimmy Saville’s suspected victims. At the time of the alleged attacks the women who spoke out were rebuffed and turned away, their claims dismissed. It was the 70s and 80s. This remains the strongest argument at the moment as to why the women’s accusations weren’t followed up, that it was a different time with different attitudes. This shouldn’t be an excuse and what’s more the attitude doesn’t seem to be all that different now. However there is some developments towards discussing the issue. The one public arena where the debate has been gaining strength, due to being raised at the Leveson enquiry, is the evaluation of sexism within British media, and even the sexist approach which media takes when discussing or publishing stories about women. One article that has emerged over recent weeks
which holds particular weight is one written by The Guardian, who wrote of some interesting findings made by industrial body Women in Journalism. It would seem that although society as a whole, especially within western nations, makes bold claims of sexism being a thing of the past, that long gone are the days of unequal pay or unfair educational or occupational disadvantages, in reality what the WiJ have discovered is that out of the papers and front pages they survey, 78 per cent of all front cover articles were written by men. Now there will undoubtedly be those that argue that maybe there are just more men in media, and that maybe they are more dominant and confident in the work place and so they stand out. Well to a certain extent yes, there are more men in media, but this shouldn’t be an excuse, if anything, this is a concern. Naturally there will be male dominated professions, just as there are female dominated professions, but how the few women within these sectors are treated, and in the case of the media, how women within their line of fire of treated. It would seem however that it is not just a case of these problems being over-looked. Female MPs,
several male BBC Director Generals and female journalists and broadcasters have all spoken out against it, and more and more it appears in the press as an issue to be addressed. Yet little has changed. Women are still portrayed as sex objects or ridiculed and humiliated when men in the same position would be overlooked. Female broadcasters are made redundant or to use a famous media term ‘moved on’ when it is deemed they have gone past their use by date, when their male counterparts are often left to broadcast well into their 60’s. What is more is that the representation of powerful women remains low. Women in power are pictured much less than men in power, and when they are they are depicted in unflattering circumstances, which does little to present them as figures of success and achievement. Yet as previously said this is not just a media wide issue. The average wage for women still remains much lower than the average income of a man. Women’s power being undermined and demeaned is a recurring theme. When it was announced this year that every country would have female athletes representing their teams at the Olympics, it was
hailed by the press as a revolution in the international women’s rights movement. It is true that this is the case but whilst the Western media is quick to deplore horrific abuses in the Middle East, within our own country there is a vast amount of ground to be made. Changing laws is, unfortunately, only the beginning of progress. Changing minds is the real challenge. Here at bathimpact this is something that we will aim to address this year. Within Student Media we are very aware of the fact that it is a male dominated group. Media have already made steps to address this, encouraging more female newcomers, holding a media training session on ‘lad culture’ and sexism. Media here at the university have made a start and now bathimpact hope to widen the scope of addressing sexism. As you may notice there is a running theme of sexism throughout this issue, this paper doesn’t feel the need to downplay it or hide away from the fact that it is still very much a part of women’s everyday lives. So throughout the year we will attempt to tackle some of the worst parts of ‘lad culture’ and to demonstrate the negative affects it can have on women and society as a whole.
Aran Gnana Treasurer impact-money@bath.ac.uk
Nick Hill Media Officer su-media-officer@bath.ac.uk
Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806 www.facebook.com/bathimpact www.bathimpact.com
bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151
U n i v e r s i t y
o f
B a t h
S t u d e n t s ’
U n i o n
STUDENT
m edia The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.
Monday 8th October 2012
bathimpact
News
www.bathimpact.com
Binders full of women
“
Mitt Romney, during the 2nd US Presidential Debate
fortnight highlights
“
expressimpact
1.6 million 20 - 40 year olds live at home with their parents
News Lite updates & events INTERNATIONAL Pakistani school girl, Malala Yousafzai, who from the young age of 11, wrote an online blog campaigning for girls’ educational rights in Pakistan, was shot in the head by Taliban solidiers so as to stop what they thought to be an offense against their regime. Malala has now been flown over to the UK for medical treatment and is being tightly guarded due to threats made by the Taliban that they might target her again.
Talking Points
• Review of the Freshers’ Week survey • The general attitude towards ‘welcome socials’ • Is there a link between the two events? Tune into 1449AM URB for interviews and conversation on these topics. 6pm on Thursday
UPCOMING EVENT
UPCOMING EVENT
Question Time with Don Foster
November 21st, London
October 26th, 5:30pm East Building 1.1 He will be coming to discuss the issues of Article 4 and whether the council should go ahead and to discuss the NUS demonstration #demo2012.
The NUS has decided to take to the streets of London for a demonstration against further governmental education cuts and the plan to abolish the Educational Maintenance Allowance. The Students’ Union will be running a vote from the 26th October on whether Bath should support the demo.
CURRENT AFFAIRS Recent findings show that the graduate job market is strengthening and is ‘better than feared’. The latest reports suggest that a total of 62 per cent of graduates are in employment with many of this 62 per cent finding jobs within a month of graduating. The report also suggests that due to increasing cuts in the public sector more graduates than ever are leaving university and setting up their own businesses.
LOCAL The Question Time with Don Foster is to feature a discussion about the council’s plans to restrict student housing and set out a policy on how houses should be divided up for student and non-student housing. This policy is called the Article 4 Direction and this debate is the culmination of a long standing campaign by University of Bath and Bath Spa University Students’ Unions to prevent the Article going through.
EDUCATION A university lecturer said on radio that university staff have been put under pressure to accept a lower standard of work from overseas students. He said that in particular regarding course structure many courses are reworking their course assessment framework to involve more coursework instead of exams due to low standards of English. The aforementioned lecturer believes that this is gradually lowering UK academic standards.
HIGHLIGHTS This week YouGov produced statistics that show that 1.6 million people in the UK, aged between 20 and 40 years old are living at home with their parents. This is due to rising house prices meaning that young people are finding it increasingly hard to get on the property ladder even after they enter work full-time. YouGov’s survey suggests that people are living at home so as to save money for a deposit on a house.
3
4
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact Special Report
“
Do not film or photograph this because if it gets published [this] club will be disaffiliated.”
bathimpact www.bathimpact.com
“
This is initiations - they love this shit.”
The SU View
The sorry story of ‘welcome drinks’ Our Students’ Union has, like every other in the country, grappled with the issues of initiations in recent years. In the past, many Sports clubs believed that running initiations was their right and that they could contain anything the club liked. The Students’ Union could not let clubs continue to put students in situations where they are in danger or made to feel ridiculed, or pressured into doing things that they did not want to do. As such, on a number of occasions over the last five years both the Students’ Union and SU Sport, through general meetings at which all clubs attend, have passed a series of stringent measures to ensure that lines are not crossed. It used to be the case that for several clubs first socials contained nudity, hospitalisations
and obscenity. That is unacceptable and the SU will bring disciplinary measures against any such club. The Rugby Club currently has such measures imposed upon them after their welcome socials continued to get out of hand despite Students’ Union supervision and as such are banned from having any kind of welcome social. Our current policy requires every sports club to submit a detailed plan of every social and we try to make as many spot checks as possible to make sure that no new club member is submitted or forced into any endangering act. Committee members sign off welcome social plans and can be held personally responsible for anything that happens and have been for many years.
As a result of these measures there has been a large reduction in both complaints from students and members of the community as well injuries and hospitalisations, showing a marked decline in the ill effects of welcome socials. The Students’ Union however can never be one hundred per cent sure of what happens at each of these welcome drinks and so we were keen to work with bathimpact to ascertain the extent to which the measures in place are working or in fact not working and make steps towards addressing these issues. We are also interested to see how our idea of what goes on matches up to reality. The incidents reported show that rules have been broken and there will be disciplinaries taking place where
this has been the case. In addition to this we acknowledge that there may be area not covered by current policy. We would urge anyone interested in this to work with us through our new policy mechanism launching in November to close these gaps. From what has been uncovered in this investigation it is clear that there is still work to be done. We would again like to reiterate that we will continue to work with club committees to ensure policies in place are being enforced and that no student is ever put in situations like those from the past. Building a relationship with the committees helps towards the understanding of why SU Sport wishes to work with the student groups rather than pushing first socials underground.
bathimpact team impact-news@bath.ac.uk
S
ports’ club initiations are notorious. They are known for forced binge-drinking, humiliation and vomit. Every student will have heard the stories: initiates being screamed at to drink out of a dirty paddling pool filled with vodka; aspiring female sportspeople being told to drink milk out of a condom dangled from the crotches of their male counterparts; the messy results of downing pints immediately before or after intensive exercise. All of these things are examples of an unpleasant phenomenon known as ‘lad culture’. In recent years initiations are said to have become less intensively focused on alcohol and humiliation but are the deeper cultural issues still at large? In collaboration with the SU bathimpact this year sent a number of undercover reporters to investigate various initiations. This article comes predominantly from the firsthand accounts of those reporters.
Monday 8th October 2012
bathimpact
bathimpact Special Report
www.bathimpact.com
“
I must have seen people throw up 35 - 40 times... maybe 60.”
The Students’ Union Policy of 2005/2006 banned the term ‘initiations’, calling for clubs to rename the event ‘welcome drinks’ in an attempt to encourage the clubs to put on milder events. SU Sport 2012 policy required Social Secretaries to put down in writing what their clubs welcome drinks will consist of – the theme, the locations, the volume of alcohol, games and so on. Such plans are massively varied, some of them are meticulous and some are rather vague but they all consist of, more or less, whatever the clubs want them to consist of. The SU Sports will edit some, particularly if there are no provisions for non-alcoholic alternatives, but it is perhaps surprising what sorts of things are given the go ahead. Even those plans are often not adhered to and there were numerous accounts of attendees being instructed that they had to drink alcohol despite their initial protestations – several reporters said that they never saw the purported non-alcoholic alternatives. When people were not coerced into drinking they were singled out and publically shamed: one group poured salt on non-drinkers while encouraging the massed onlookers to mock them. There was a general pressure to drink, particularly from committee members, as evidenced by numerous stories of attendees being told to drink heavily despite having already vomited multiple times that evening and having been told, very sarcastically, of non-alcoholic alternatives, at the start of the social. bathimpact, thanks to cooperation from SU Sport, has had the opportunity to look over some of the submitted plans which illustrate that social goers would have to down food concoctions, perform physical tasks including press ups, planks and sprints while drinking, and yet the SU’s 2005/2006 Social Events Policy specifically lists ‘forced consumption’ and ‘creating concoctions with potentially harmful ingredients’ under the heading of unacceptable behaviour. Perhaps the provisions are too narrow. A big proportion of the welcome drinks were focused on simultaneously drinking and exercising. One group had 2 litre bottles of alcohol taped to their hands before being made to run down Bathwick Hill. They were expected to have finished their drinks by the time they reached
the bottom, where they immediately went to another bar. Several groups introduced shuttle runs, press ups or sit ups in between drinks. Obviously, combining these activities almost inevitably ends with many initiates vomiting – normally there are handily placed bins or boxes for team-building expulsions. Clubs know that certain activities are not allowed, that there is a line which they must not cross. This awareness is something that SU Sport and the SU should be proud of but they must also be conscious that their work is not done. Perhaps the most damning quote we gathered was an instruction made during one social: “Do not film or photograph this because if it gets published [this] club will be disaffiliated.” After this, various male initiates were put into handstand positions and made to down a pint of alcohol through a straw. Female initiates did the same except in a press-up position while the entire activity was jeered at by onlookers. These activities were not listed on their welcome drink proposal. The accepted forms are largely taken at face-value by the SU. A few random inspections are made to check their veracity but some of these are done by former club members who, as some sources have indicated to this newspaper, are likely to be fairly lenient if any discrepancies occur. Regardless of this issue, there are simply not enough free staff members to check each welcome drinks put on. It is really important to say that some clubs massively impressed our reporters. Attendees were welcomed, encouraged and had a lot of fun. They were allowed to eschew drinking and older members of the club were equally as involved as the usually derided ‘freshers’. ‘Introductory socials’ are claimed to be about team building, developing a hierarchy, instilling humility into freshers. This newspaper is concerned that what they really seem to be about is degrading people, sexist behaviour and peer pressure. There are people who enjoy such events but there are many who do not – it is not often that the latter go on to organise the ‘welcome drinks’ for the
“
Repeat after me: I will always protect bros before hos.”
following year so practices are likely to remain the same. Having spoken to sportspeople, and having been at the events themselves, it certainly appears that this is the case. We have heard reports that people do not want to join clubs out of fear or distress at the idea of an initiation. So much for team building. Some attendees will have played their chosen sport at school and perhaps chosen Bath specifically because the team they wish to join are particularly good. These individuals are more likely to suffer through a ‘welcome drink’ for the sake of a year’s sporting activity. Newcomers without such resolve are understandably more likely never to return. This is unfortunate as it dissuades less experienced or more casual sportspeople from joining clubs and enjoying the excellent facilities and coaching the University has to offer. After gathering first-hand material, the only conclusion that we can draw is that while the steps that have been made to eradicate lad culture and to clamp down on banned initiations have gone some way to improving things, more steps need to be taken. Greater consequences need to be enforced for those who step out of line and purposefully seek to humiliate newcomers to their clubs. A lot of this comes from better, wider reporting of how the events actually go down. Being a fresher or taking the first step to entering a new club and social circle can be daunting at the best of times. Add into that systemised humiliation and degrading activities – that’s when people will shrink away from sports. It is not just about preventing initiations, it is about addressing ‘lad culture’ as a whole and changing how people see forced alcohol consumption. Let’s take away the ‘cool’ or ‘funny’ labels that come alongside the worst excesses of these events and instead applaud the people making ‘welcome drinks’ actually welcoming. This special report has not named either individuals or clubs. In cooperation with the SU, any particularly problematic actions observed during this investigation have been reported privately. If you would like to report anything related to this topic, for either sports’ or nonsports’ clubs, please contact: supresident@bath.ac.uk
5
event quotes
Our View H
ere at bathimpact we understand the premise of initiations, the building of a team via a shared process isn’t an illogical idea, and in fact it’s an excellent one, but only when executed correctly. This, as far as bathimpact is concerned, is the crux of the matter. The reason for our investigation is that sadly, initiations are usually flawed. Often their primary function appears to be nothing more than to filter out those who merely have a faint interest in the sport; leaving only really dedicated athletes behind. This elitist attitude alone is damnable, but when the methods involve humiliation, excessive drinking and brutal physical challenges, initiations like this are truly a tradition that should be ended. For good. This doesn’t just mean that the word ‘initiation’ should be banned and occasional spot checks made, because despite lessening the negative effects of initiations all this does is address their symptoms not the cause. Sports’ clubs simply changing the name to ‘welcome drinks’ or toning their initiation down for a year doesn’t solve the plethora of ingrained problems associated with them, as you can no doubt see from this paper’s investigation. bathimpact feels the cause should be tackled, not merely their symptoms. This isn’t to say that what is done by the Students’ Union to clamp down on initiations isn’t useful or doesn’t help to alleviate the overall issues of initiation, it’s just that we don’t feel it is the only way to tackle the problems that many initiations present. From what was ascertained in this investigation the problems associated with initiations do not seem to stem from the concept of initiations as a whole, instead it seems to stems from its culture. Sports’ clubs do not have defined initiations instead they’re allowed to design their own plan and struc-
ture for the event, so long as they hand some watered down version of it to the Students’ Union. There appear to be two sources for these issues. The first is the event’s history. Many committee members will remember their own initiations, and will try to inflict the same experience they had upon any new additions to their sport. This is a selfperpetuating idea as the incoming freshers will, most likely, continue this tradition, this means the reasons for initiations are lost, to be replaced with the abusive tradition that many clubs have adopted. The second is a more general issue and it’s something we’ve touched upon before. It’s the culture that exists today where emphasis is placed upon loutish behavior and this pervades into many parts of student life. Initiations are one particular example of this, sexism and peer cruelty are common themes for some clubs, and this leads to a gradual escalation of the intensity of initiations in attempt to out-‘Lad’ previous years. The point bathimpact would like to make is that this is an issue that shouldn’t need to be clamped down upon or regulated. If students realise that enforced drinking and public humiliation are cruel, unnecessary, and that the excuse ‘someone did it to me, so I should do it to someone else’ lacks any kind of real logic or empathy, the type of initations that currently exist simply to scare off freshers after they’ve paid their membership fees will simply cease to exist and only the initiations that genuinely attempt to encourage teamwork and sense of camaraderie will remain. So if you, as a student, feel initiations are an issue of concern for you then don’t look for someone else to address these problems, start at their source and remind your fellow students that you are people, and should be treated as such.
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Comment
www.bathimpact.com
bobaliciouslondon
Protest #demo2012 Absent Kids
Students take to the streets to protest about their objections at government education cut backs Helen Edworthy the size of the cost itself is jarring especially when you consider that bathimpact Writer to a lot of people – and there have you won’t ever really have to think n November 21st the NUS been studies that have found that about it. Some people do pay off all are holding a peaceful fear of debt is the single biggest fac- their student loans at once, but this demonstration in London, tor for students from lower-income isn’t really necessary – it’d be better which they see as a stage on which families going to university. spent paying a deposit on a house, students can express their concerns The other major mistake the gov- or paying off a different and more and dislikes about how students and ernment made was in the way they expensive loan. But both of these education are both treated and han- tried to alleviate the fears about the things are, of course the fault of dled by the government. increased cap on tuition fees; every badly implemented policies on the The NUS’ views (according to student’s best friend, the ‘student coalition’s part; they also withdrew various sources) are that they want loan’. While student loans are actu- funding to universities too quickly, Higher Education to be ‘free, fair, ally a pretty good idea, both the mis- which didn’t help anybody (least of and funded publicly by all’. On a take made by government and the all themselves). base level, I am in agreement with inherent problem with them is in I am in agreement with the NUS this – my only problem is that the name. Having a ‘loan’ seems like protest. The idea of Higher EducaHigher Education has actually al- a scary prospect; ‘loans’ denote debt tion being free and publicly funded ways cost this much. The issue with and repossession, and scary peo- is a good one, whether it is somethe cost of Higher Education is the ple in banks telling you terrifying thing that eventually gets implefact that the government made two things. ‘Loans’ put off entire groups mented or not. But even more than mistakes. The first mistake is the of the population, such as lower-in- that; the fact that the NUS can pofact that they decided that it would come families who are scared by the tentially mobilise so many students be a good idea to shift the burden of prospect, and certain religions (for for a singular purpose is a great the total cost of education onto the example, Islam isn’t exactly keen thing. It does wonders for the sterestudents themselves where as previ- on loans’). For all the coalition’s otype of uncaring youth, provided ously the bulk of Higher Education talk of trying to get more students the protest remains peaceful, that is. was funded through taxes, in the into Higher Education, they’re not There is also going to be a Quessame way as primary and secondary exactly going about it the right way tion Time with our local Lib Dem MP education. While Higher Education if they’re using terminology that ac- on October 26th where students will isn’t something that everybody nec- tually puts off entire sections of the also be given another opportunity essarily wants or needs (like health- population. What they should have to voice their interests and discuss care, for instance), it is something done was call it a student ‘tax’, and what the point of the #demo2012 that generally benefits people in the make it clear that it functions in the should be about. What the outcome long run. What the government have same way. Repaying student loans of it will be is something to keep an done by shifting the burden of the works in the same way as taxes; you eye on. For the four days following other £6000 onto individual stu- only start to pay it back once you this debate, the Students’ Union will dents and/or their families is scare are earning over a certain amount be running a cross-campus vote on people. While a student doesn’t ever (usually between 15-21,000) and it whether Bath supports this demo. need to actually have £9000 ready gets taken out of your salary on pay- The vote will be available on bathcash before they go to university, day. This all sounds a lot less scary, student.com.
O
Lucinda Vinestock bathimpact Writer et’s talk about kidnapping, abduction and disappearing children. Let’s talk about Gemal Wilson and Jessica Lane and Joanne Ward. Or let’s not. Because, chances are, you‘ve never heard of them. But I can almost guarantee that you’ve heard of Madelaine McCann, Sarah Payne and, unless you’ve been living in a cave, the more recent and truly heartbreaking case of April Jones. April Jones, the five year old girl from Machynlleth, went missing on Monday 1st October. Since then, extensive search parties have been conducted by both the police and members of the public, but to no avail. Whilst an arrest has been made, namely that of Mark Bridger, the police are still unsure as to her whereabouts, and, devastatingly, whether or not she is still alive. So why does everyone know about April Jones but not about Gemal Wilson? Naturally, I’m making the assumption that because neither I nor anyone I’ve asked has heard of Gemal, you haven’t either. And, judging by the fact that this case hasn’t received much coverage from the media, I’m not really surprised. Gemal Wilson is a fifteen year old boy from London who disappeared on the 3rd of October. If you type his name into the BBC News’ website, you won’t find any articles, videos or police reports associated with him. Yet if you type in ‘April Jones’, who went missing around the same time as Gemal, there are nearly three hundred results. April Jones’ disappearance was front page news: it inspired Facebook groups dedicated to spreading awareness of her disappearance; national search parties are still occurring and thousands of tributes and messages of hope have all been offered up to her friends and family. All of these touching acts have been well-documented by the media and
L
broadcast to the world. Around two hundred thousand children go missing each year in the United Kingdom alone, according to research conducted by the Missing Persons Bureau. So why has the media alerted us all to April Jones’ disappearance and not the thousands of other cases? Is it due to the oddness of the case and her apparent willingness to get into the car? Or the speed with which the arrest was made following the traumatic news? Or is it just media bias? Think of all the similar cases you’ve heard about, read about or seen on the news. How many of those victims were young, pretty girls? And now think about how many of those victims were young boys or pregnant teenage girls or scruffy young kids with ADHD or an Anti-Social Behaviour Order? I can’t even name one. All of these cases are equally tragic and incredibly saddening – they tug at your heartstrings whilst simultaneously forcing you to question your faith in humanity. Age, looks, race, academic abilities, life decisions aside, all disappearing children should be treated equally. They should all receive the same recognition and publicity, and every effort should be made with every missing child, and person, for that matter, to raise awareness of their situation. If a photo of the missing child is published by the media, it gets shared on Facebook, it’s in the newspapers, it’s on the news and people know what that child looks like. That increases the chances of someone recognising that child if they see them in real life. If we don’t know that children are missing, how do we know to look out for them, to join the search parties, to do everything we can to see them home safely? So surely the media should offer this potentially lifesaving coverage to all missing children?
Missing
Equal and fair media coverage
7
8
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Comment
www.bathimpact.com
Robert Page bathimpact Writer itt Romney, in case you live under a rock, is the man challenging Obama for the US Presidential election this November. He is considered outside of the US to be a bit of an American stereotype and until recently it was comical that this man was even in contention to hold the most powerful job on earth. However, in the recent presidential debate Obama had, what can only be described as, a bit of a shocker, and now the polls indicate that the momentum is well and truly behind Romney. The idea that this man could now realistically get into office is something we should all be worried about and be in no doubt that it will have an influence on our lives. As much as some people may hate to admit it, America is still the most powerful country in the world; be it in economic, military or scientific terms. Where they go, most of the world follows, so who is elected matters to us too. I think now, as his awful, awful website invites, we should learn about Mitt. The son of a former Michigan governor, he studied at Harvard and then went on to lead some of the largest corporations in the US. He has an estimated net worth of between $190-250 million so you can be sure he can sympathise with the struggles of the 15 per cent of American families that
DonkeyHotey
Mitt Romney: being awful wins votes
Should we all really be getting on board the Romney-mobile, could it be about to crash and burn? live below the federal poverty line. rendous and one of the biggest chal- worryingly has come out in support Romney emphasised that he is truly lenges facing the next generation. I of ‘enhanced interrogation techa man-of-the-people by claiming would hope that the man bidding to niques’ which roughly translates as that middle income is $200,000 to be president has a plan to sort out torture. $250,000. the environment. In fact Romney On international relations, his Maybe this is a bit harsh; we does not believe that global warm- record is just as bad. He has claimed don’t choose the family we are ing is a man-made phenomenon at that Russia is America’s “number born into. It’s policy that any politi- all. Romney also favours the contin- one geopolitical foe” and on a recent cian should be judged on; yet again ued use of Guantanamo Bay (which trip to London before the Olympics Romney doesn’t let us down. Amer- to be fair, Obama promised to close he expressed doubts about how well ica’s record on green issues is hor- but has failed to do so) and more the Metropolitan Police and other
organisations would be able to handle the Olympics. Egg well and truly on your face Mitt. There is perhaps only one American politician we should be more concerned about than Romney and that’s Paul Ryan. Paul Ryan also happens to be Romney’s running mate i.e. the man who will end up vice-president if the worst does happen. There’s not really a way to soften the blow on this one so I’ll just come out with it; Paul Ryan is opposed abortion, even in cases of rape. Despite all this, Mitt Romney still has a great chance to win this presidential election and American voters love his hardline views and tough talking stance. Obama has so far failed to deliver on many of the promises that swept him so spectacularly into power in 2008 and in many ways Romney is the antiObama. This alone could be enough to win. In case you are still in any doubt as to the merits of this man, allow me to share with you a quote from Romney’s book; “England is just a small island. Its roads and houses are small. With few exceptions, it doesn’t make things that people in the rest of the world want to buy. And if it hadn’t been separated from the continent by water, it almost certainly would have been lost to Hitler’s ambitions.” Be afraid people, be afraid.
may have caused. Television bosses, just as blinded by celebrity, ‘laughed away’ accusations by witnesses and, fearing the power of this famous man, children said nothing. Equally as dreadful as the praise he still gets is the idea that this whole uproar is futile – ‘he’s dead, move one’. But his death does not mean these revelations will lead to nothing. Where children are concerned, we should never turn our backs, not even on the past. Turning our backs is what led to this mess in the first place. So this isn’t about Saville, it’s about the bigger picture of unheard children, mistrust, the hideous effects of celebrity, and the appalling failures of public services who fail at what they are supposed to do best. It’s the 21st century and we still don’t really listen to children, their voices drowned out by adults who don’t really care and by policies which cater to the needs of the powerful or the economy. Faced with the overwhelming magnitude of a court case, what young teenager would seriously want to face it, let alone the tabloids tracing every revelation of a hellish and private matter? A system which is supposed to
The only hope we can take away from this is the hope for change: to listen more, to act faster, and to give victims a reason to speak out. This is doing things the right way, don’t you think?
M
Hugo Verity bathimpact Writer
N
ow, I’m not one to judge people by their cover, but Jimmy was seriously weird, and blatantly a pervert. It was supposedly happening right under our noses, and though people suspected it and him apparently practically admitting it at one point, nothing happened. Investigations were dropped or led to nothing and backs were turned. More infuriating, his death means he may have gotten away scotfree for years of sexually abusing children who would become forever damaged, yet out of shame and the ignorance of others, stayed silent or went unheard. As court cases against the NHS and BBC get under way, what resolution can his alleged victims – at the time young, confused, scared and even ill - really reach all these years later? An apology and a bit of cash can never turn back the clock, and there’s something hopelessly upsetting about that fact. A quick flick through the latest online comments and blogs and people are quick to say that the good he did somehow outweighs the agony he
serve them in fact failed them. The thing about stories like this is that they open up a whole can of worms, and sometimes, though it bores us, for the better. No doubt spurred by the latest Saville allegations, the BBC must now deal with allegations by some of its most known faces – Sandi Toksvig, Liz Kershaw – that they were groped on and off-air as far back as the 1980s, only to be ignored. We don’t learn, it seems. Instead, driven by targets, police shrug off cases. The papers, intent on selling news, inflate stories of women who lie about rape for attention, and commentators make the headlines for their controversial opinions on women who deserve what they get for the provocative way they dress. Yet there are vulnerable and victimised people out there who keep their traumatic experiences bottled up because they don’t think they’ll be heard or because of the stigma they might face by ignorant journalists, officials and neighbours. The Saville revelations are one of many which have been in the news in the last few years of abusers who hide behind a façade of institutional
Arty Smokes
Celebrity: does that excuse crime?
Allegations over Jimmy Saville have dominated news headlines purity – the church, the BBC, the police. Rumours are horrible things, and so too are blame and mistrust, but where the welfare of someone vulnerable is at risk we simply can never afford to look the other way.
10
Monday 22 October 2012
bathimpact
Politics
www.bathimpact.com
Leveson Inquiry and our freedom
bathimpact’s Sarah Aston looks into the wider effects of the inquiry more important, is potential answers the inquiry will provide for questions surrounding what can be regarded as the public realm and the private, what information is allowed to be used and what is not, what causes harm and what is infringement on an individual’s right to privacy? Answers to these questions will have far more lasting an effect on media culture and how society responds to the media than any direct policy by one specific person. For John Stuart Mill, the public
“
Will intervention infringe our rights?”
sphere was defined as those areas that affected society as a whole. If an individual’s actions resulted in harm being caused to others then Mill would claim that the action should be subject to state interference. On the other hand, if an individual’s action affected none but themselves the state could not interfere. For Mill, the individual’s right to freedom of speech, press, action and involvement was critical to the well being of society and much of what Mill writes can be seen in the way the state has acted for the last two
centuries. Yet the recent scandals surrounding the media suggest that the division between public and private is not as distinct as Mill would like. Cameron himself has stated, “We don’t want heavy-handed state intervention. We have got to have a free press. They have got to be free to uncover wrongdoing, to follow the evidence, to do the job in our democracy that they need to do.” In Mill’s distinction, every individual has the right to freedom of speech and as such, a journalist is doing no wrong in writing an opinion. However, when what is written causes harm, even if it is arguably necessary harm, can the press be regarded as entering the public sphere and therefore subject to state intervention? Much of what has been discussed throughout the Leveson Inquiry relates to this issue. Were the press right to steal information from unwitting individuals in the search for evidence to back up an opinion or a story? Is it freedom of speech, press, and action for a journalist to write controversial stories that will inevitably lead to consequences for an institution, an individual or society as a whole? Will state intervention regarding the press infringe on our rights to personal freedom and is this a good or necessary result?
The story of Max Mosley is a good example. Many argued that Mosley’s sexual antics were rightly publicized due to the idea that as a powerful man with high influence, his actions could cause potential harm to the public. Yet many argued his private life, no matter how colourful, should remain private, and as such the media need to be regulated to prevent
such incidents happening again. What it boils down to is the question of what is private and what is public? What should the state control and who decides? In light of these questions, the potential answers the Leveson Inquiry will provide is far more compelling a result than Cameron’s response. Hugh Grant, take note. EvaRinaldia
T
alking to the BBC earlier this week, Hugh Grant expressed his fear that recommendations to change the way the media acts in society would fall upon deaf ears once the results of the ongoing Leveson Inquiry were released. Set up to assess the ethical, practical, and cultural factors of the media in today’s society, the Leveson Inquiry has been followed by those that argue the media has overstepped its boundaries and become too powerful. Given that the media has long enjoyed the freedom to act as they please, Grant is right to voice his fears. Showing a typically cautious response to controversial issues, Cameron has publically recognised the failures of the media sector but has been careful to remain ambivalent as to how far he would be willing to go to prevent the media abusing information available to them. However, whether Cameron listens to the results and recommendations is of secondary importance at this very point in time. Any policies implemented will inevitably be a re hash of former policy in an attempt to appease a number of interested actors; a fact that political journalists should have realized at this point. What is interesting, and perhaps
Is Hugh Grant fair game? When does the private become public?
The beginning of new old Labour Joe Turnbull bathimpact writer
F
spannerfilms
inally moving away from the days of New Labour, Ed Miliband unashamedly stole from the core of traditional conservatism and made it his own. Welcome to One Nation Labour.
In a bold move that directly confronted the divisive politics of the coalition, the Labour leader produced the kind of speech not seen amongst British politicians in recent times. Without autocue or notes he seemed personable and most importantly passionate - a
Ready for government: Ed Miliband’s speech rebranded the party
side not often seen in public. It was a confident delivery that for the first time showed the country that he has what it takes to be Prime Minister. By stealing One Nation directly from traditional conservatism he not only demonstrated that Labour will campaign for all sections of society, but also finally ended any idea that modern Conservatives are anything other than brutal Thatcherite’s. He described a Britain where “patriotism, loyalty, dedication to the common cause courses through the veins of all, and nobody feels left out”. Furthermore he was not afraid to denounce going back towards an Old Labour that spent too much time looking after just the poor, and reiterated the point that even under Labour hard choices will have to be made. Promising to do more for those out of work, rather than stigmatising them all as scroungers like the current government, he emphasised his policy of jobs for young people and training schemes for those who don’t go to University. It was a tour-de-force
that even won over the previously sceptical Len McCulskey of Unite and garnered admiration from the staunchest of right-wing journalists. Of course the speech was not without its problems. Once again it drew criticism for a lack of policy detail, particularly with regards as to where Labour would differ in cuts from the current government. Furthermore some commentators
“
Welcome to One Nation Labour.”
have accused Ed Miliband of using a class divide to separate himself from the Etonians of the Conservative party by emphasising that he attended a state school. However, he rebutted this by saying that he was just trying to highlight where he came from, and how it affected his politics. This did not stop accusations of hypocrisy when he once again refused to reveal his own per-
sonal wealth after claiming that the lowering of the top rate of tax was a deal for the rich, from which David Cameron and other cabinet members personally benefited. After months of questions about his capability Ed Miliband has finally proved he has what it takes, and indeed this speech may be a turning point in his personal fortunes as he leads the Labour charge towards 2015. It has been said by many commentators that in private, he is an intelligent and charismatic individual, but that until recently he had suffered from the issues that Gordon Brown always seemed to face when a camera was put in front of him; he looked wooden and boring. Now that this is no longer an issue, and so long as Labour can improve their policy detail in the coming months, it looks increasingly likely that Ed Miliband will be a serious contender in the general election, particularly when you consider that the current government is one of the most unpopular and distrusted governments in history.
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
11
Politics
www.bathimpact.com
Right to love: gay marriage in the UK bathimpact’s Jessica Walsh discusses the key issues in the ongoing debate
O
phobia and the isolation homosexuals often face. A recent YouGov poll based on 2,000 people indicated that 70 per cent of Britons would support a move towards same sex marriage and no longer view marriage as an institution for one man and one woman, yet, despite this large support, politicians seem to be far behind society. This has turned the debate into a political issue as a growing number
Scarlett Clark Publicity and Distribution Officer impact-publicity@bath.ac.uk
most in-need students. Most Brits consider leaving the nest, the place of comfort and stability, at the age of 18. We would happily trade the ‘essentials’ of a home-cooked meal and a readymade bed for independence. The idea of going “old school” and living with our parents is a truly daunting thought and leaves us scraping our last pennies together in order to survive. In contrast, our European neighbours are well aware of the facts and it is almost in the constitution that Italians will live with their folks until their late thirties, followed by inheriting the house their parents once owned (lucky for some). If I have learnt anything after living in Italy it is “all for one and one for all”; arriving at an Italian friend’s house and turning the door knob to discover a dining room table laid for aunts, uncles, cousins, grand-parents, babies, siblings, and all of their partners. The Italians and Spanish make it a priority to all dine together which leaves me questioning the English social values of sitting in front of the television grabbing a quick bite to eat without conversation. Also, old people’s homes are unheard of in both countries. I won-
of politicians promise to support the move. Both Ed Milliband, leader of the Labour Party, and Nick Clegg, Deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Liberal Democrats have both spoken out about the legalisation of gay marriage and pledged the support of their respective parties. Nick Clegg even went as far as to call opponents to the movement ‘bigots’, a statement which was later retracted, but clearly outlines the
nivs
n December 5th 2005, Peter and Francis Scott Morgan walked down an aisle surrounded by their friends and family. It was certainly not a traditional marriage, or a marriage at all for that matter, but a ceremony of love nonetheless. The aisle was not that of a church either, but of a manor house in Cornwall. It was also historic; one of the first civil partnerships legal in the UK. Upon being asked about the controversy surrounding the issue Francis replied: “people should not pay attention to race, religion or gender they should be looking at the love”. It was a large step forward, but not enough for the couple who vowed to continue their fight towards equal marriage rights. Gay marriage has always been a divisive issue in the UK. Although gay couples are currently able to join in a civil partnership, they are not yet legally recognised as a married couple by the state. Pro-gay lobbyists have claimed that this separates the gay community from the rest of society and presents them as unequal to their heterosexual counterparts, acting to aid homo-
Gay marriage continues to be a divisive issue in the UK
Liberal Democrats commitment to gay marriage. Prime Minister David Cameron has also, perhaps controversially, shown his support and has made claims that by the next election same sex marriage will be legalised, starting by opening a consultation on the matter. Despite these promises little has actually been done to bring about the legalisation of gay marriage and it has been criticised as a painfully slow process. There has been noticeable opposition from various groups in Britain, especially the Church of England, which claims that despite Government promises to exempt them from performing ceremonies, this arrangement would be unlikely to stand up against a legal challenge. There has also been a clear split in the Conservative party with many Tory MP’s claiming same sex marriage would damage the backbone of society by altering an ancient tradition. In face of this opposition, Cameron has promised Tory backbenchers a free vote on the issue so as to allow MP’s to vote. This means the action is far less likely to be introduced by the end of 2012 if a substantial number vote against it.
This is shocking when we observe that some more conservative countries such as Argentina, which legalised same sex marriage in 2010, and South Africa, which legalised it in 2006, have introduce far more progressive laws, despite encountering heavy opposition, often based on Christian religious beliefs. Mosiuoa Lekota, the current President of the Congress in South Africa explained the decision to rule in favour of same sex union by claiming that in a democracy same sex couples should be afforded the same equal opportunities as hetero-
“
Equality is still denied to a minority.”
sexuals. Britain is often viewed as a liberal and tolerant place, however the right of marriage, and therefore equality, is still denied to a minority of the population. If conservative countries can successfully introduce equal marriage, then surely Britain can too.
A failure to launch Our freedom T
he wonderful aroma of freshly cooked pasta wafting from the kitchen, the clean laundry neatly placed on the bed, a guaranteed place to live in difficult times - is this a preferred existence or a financial consequence? The rise of the bamboccioni, literally meaning big babies, has escalated hugely in Italy. Now more than 60 per cent of 18-36 year old Italians are living with their parents at home, with similar figures in Spain too. Is this a reflection of the blockbuster movie ‘Failure to Launch’ or is Britain playing catch-up? Then again, who wouldn’t want to live with Matthew McConaughey? They may be mocked for their pampered lifestyle, yet a growing number really have no choice because they can’t afford a home of their own and struggle to obtain a job. When hit with a recession it could be argued that it is a lot easier to live at home, the welfare payments in Italy are a fraction of what you can obtain in the UK. It is the same with University, there are no grants, just scholarships to cover accommodation costs for the
der if we all began living together, whether this would bring us closer together no matter how dysfunctional we were? On the 15th August, it was declared that in Britain, the number of people working part-time because they find it too difficult to find a job had hit a record high. Do the mamma’s boys have it right?
“
60 per cent of 18-36 year olds are living with their parents.”
Are we simply creating unnecessary stress? This could be true. We cannot forget though that the Italian and Spanish youth have less of an incentive to reach any goal or find their own path in the labour market. However, I can’t help but wonder how much time do you spend with your family? The Italian and Spanish values regarding the family are impeccable. Is this a lifestyle the British youth should adopt? For, it was Don Corleone in “The Godfather” who once said “A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man” or would us British bulldogs be left crying “Mamma Mia”?
William Cooper Political correspondent
We live in a society stifled by conformity. This does not simply refer to certain tendencies of music or fashion (though such tendencies are not excluded) but to the ways in which we engage in politics, behave psychologically, and produce and consume goods, knowledge and language. This conformity derives from the enduring logic of efficiency that has underpinned contemporary society. We are subsumed by the need for immediate satisfaction and for maximum return on minimum effort, while the various realms of society (the cultural, political and economic etc.) are consolidated and eventually amalgamated, becoming virtually indistinguishable as their lowest common denominator is reached: profit. The logic of efficiency serves to absorb and nullify critical discourse and genuine resistance. As we engage with the various products of our society, we affirm rather than negate. Positive, rather than negative, engagement perpetuates the logic. It appears as the only one viable. That which has sustained our contemporary society is that which must sustain. All thought and action
that cannot be defined in terms of the logic is systematically denied, for what is not real cannot be rational. Similarly, creative speculation of an alternative is dismissed as just that – speculation, unrealistic and abstract. Yet how can creative speculation not be unrealistic or abstract? It is impossible to speculate of an alternative logic in terms of the prevailing logic, for the latter rejects creative speculation by definition. The very essence of creative speculation must be negating the prevailing logic. It must be abstract and unrealistic, for it cannot be grounded in that which exists. The purpose of this article is not widespread conversion; it is merely to introduce the critical legacy of those hero-theorists of student radicalism in years gone by, who now lie forgotten. Creative thinking now operates within the confines of uncreativity. If one affirms the existing order of things, one simply reproduces what already exists. One must negate this existing order to produce a novel idea, an alternative to the logic. Breaking these confines is the task at hand. As Marcuse – the acclaimed father of the 1968 student revolts – said, “all liberation depends on the consciousness of servitude”.
12
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Business
www.bathimpact.com
Central America: close to the edge
bathimpact’s International correspondent Alex Egan takes an in-depth look at how drugs are pushing the region away from development
“
Violence across its various states is a huge issue.”
full-blown default. This fragile position is endemic to Central America born from a multiple of socio-political and economic issues ranging from violence to poverty which hinders any realistic hope of a bright economic future. Politics in Central America mixes the common Latin American problem of economic progress with political disintegration. Democracy is young in Central America, with the one ex-
ception of Costa Rica, but after two decades, expectations which started with the collapse of the Cold War system, are quickly slowing. In 2011 Latinobarómetro, the leading Latin American pollster, reported that only 44 per cent of people believed that democracy was the preferable system, a stark 7 per cent decrease from the year before. For a region which pulled through the economic recession with relative ease, the results are startling, but reflect a wider problem in Central America. Violence across its various states is a huge issue. The majority of such violence spurs from the combination of gangs and drugs which has shifted from its traditional battleground of Colombia to its northern neighbours. Mexico is often portrayed as the frontline of this war, but as the government increases its relentless, yet futile, battle against the cartels (at the cost of over 50,000 deaths since its beginning in 2007) it has shifted to southern neighbours, particularly Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras. The maras (gangs) create a bloody divide between the Central American people, both internally and externally. The war led Hilary Clinton to call Mexico a ‘failed state’ in 2008 (although the statement was quickly retracted) as the wall dividing the innocent from the guilty is increasingly marred. Corpses are often beheaded and put on public display, rehab clin-
Analysis Over the last five years the drugs war in Central America has been fought with a new wave of tenacity. As President Caldéron promised in his 2007 election, the use of the armed forces in Mexico’s war against the increasingly brutal cartels has only seen the exacerbation of atrocities committed by the gangs. The war is not solely being fought in Central America, but on the poppy fields of Afghanistan, the streets of Harlem and the slums of Birmingham. When tens of thousands are dying as the indirect side effect of an illegal product, then the way we are fighting the battle is not the right way. We can by no means belittle the effects of drugs. Families are torn apart by soft and hard drugs. However, history has taught us that
simply performing a blanket ban on any product where there is a market does not work. It is a shame that the frontline of our drug war is fought in places where, ultimately, the drugs are not consumed. It is our horrendous addition that drives its production and the bloodshed associated. Gang money laundering, gun running and bureaucracy on our side of the conflict all escalate the intensity of the battle and much more needs to be done to prevent these. Legalisation is a political hot potato, but one which should be discussed maturely and seriously. Perhaps moving the fight against drugs to where it should be - the rehab clinics and family support groups - is the only way out of this stalemate.
GDP per person (‘000) 8+ 6-8 Mexico 113.7 22.7 34.8
4-6 Belize 0.3 41.4 n/a Guatemala 6.1 38.5 54.8
0-2 Honduras 8.3 91.6 64.6
Nicaragua 6.1 13.6 61.9 El Salvador 6.1 69.2 47.9
0.0 population per million 0.0 homocide per 100,000 0.0 poverty rate in per cent (Source: ECLAC)
2-4
Costa Rica 4.3 11.3 18.9
Panama 3.4 21.6 26.4
A map showing how violence, poverty and economic growth are intertwined ics firebombed and journalists ex- commodity prices means that poverty the drug war; perhaps serious discusecuted. increased drastically even before the sion of legalisation or, if all else fails, This divide can be seen as originat- recession hit. For the Central Ameri- a pax mafiosa with the gangs similar ing partly from the historic polarisa- can nations, dependent upon import- to before the war kicked off. Secondly, tion of the region, which saw multiple ed oil and food, this has become an a continuation of the regions expancivil wars across the 1970s and 1980s issue. Finally, the stagnating economy sion of trade agreements such as between US-backed dictators and owes its state largely to competition those made with China and the EU Soviet-backed guerrillas, thus leav- with Asia, in particular China. Uncle this year. A move away from the USA ing what appears to be an everlasting Sam has found that it is cheaper to could do the countries a lot of good, disunity between right and left with ship goods from China than Central both economically, as a means of dilittle room to compromise between America. Continuous border hold- versifying, and socially, by moving the the two sides or any real moderate ups and bottlenecks throughout Latin politics away from a sentiment of subparties. Further aided by government American towns mean that it can take servience to America which has bred corruption, tax evasion and the need days for a loaded truck to make a sin- some uncompromising politicians. for reform within the civil service, gle journey to the US. Central America is still young with political reasons largely back Central Central America’s future relies on a plenty of potential, but it will be a long American socio-political difficulties. few things. Firstly, a new approach to time until the foundations are fixed. The drug war can only be seen as a consequence of these preconditions; a system of political chaos and turmoil allowed the drug market to flourish. Central American states are forced to spend an average of 8 per cent of their GDPs on internal security, leading to yet more stagnation of the economic situation. Poverty is horrific with the average Guatemalan receiving only 4.1 years of education and child malnutrition reaching 80 per cent. With Central American governments being forced to spend more on security and less on development there is a vicious circle of foregone opportunities. To make things worse the economies, which are based largely on the exportation of coffee and crops, are closely linked to the US economy and thus have been deeply affected by the Our addiction to drugs is only fueling the conflict recession. Additionally, the rise in
CalebWheelerRobinson
C
aye Caulker is a paradise of blue skies, white beaches and colourful condos. A travellers’ haven, throughout the day the beach bars run thick with the pungent, spice-like scent of ‘jungle’ weed, a speciality of the Central American circuit. The stronger stuff gets shipped to the USA and Europe, as does the cocaine and heroin which is consumed just as much behind the doors of reggae clubs toilets. Caye Caulker is deceiving. Its idyllic portrayal of the ‘Caribbean dream’ is far from the reality. A couple of weeks ago Belize missed its deadline to pay back $23 million of debt having only paid half. They were given a generous 60-day extension (at 8.5 per cent interest) saving it from a
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
13
Business
www.bathimpact.com
Euro bailout bonanza Economics of... money loaned to Greece. This would have severe political consequences, thus the ECB is pushing for longer debt repayments as an alternative, in the hope the creditors will eventually recoup the funds invested. Increased inflationary pressures have caused the ECB to brush aside the IMF’s suggestion of further lowering interest rates to spur lending and growth in the lagging Eurozone economies. Coeure said the ECB’s main focus was on ensuring the already low rates were reflected in low lending rates across the Eurozone, mainly through the deployment of OMTs. The inability of the two financial entities to reach agreement only serves to exacerbate the unprecedented uncertainty about the future of the Eurozone.
The woman pulling the strings of the Eurozone’s success
Funding for lending Michael Aroean bathimpact writer
T
his is the Bank of England’s latest response to tweak the economy back into its pre2008 prosperity course. And this is how it works: commercial banks and building societies such as Barclays and Nationwide borrow Treasury Bills (effectively bonds with high security) from the BoE to fund their lending activities. Banks can borrow up to 5 per cent of their current lending activity with a 0.25 per cent borrowing cost, which is even lower than the BoE’s current base rate. There is also an incentive for these banks to lend more; they are given the chance to borrow more than 5 per cent if banks can show they’ve increased their overall lending. However, if they reduce their lending, their borrowing cost can increase up to 1.25 per cent. The scheme has been created as banks are still finding it hard to find cheaper funds. This is due to the ongoing financial crisis and the uncertainty surrounding the Eurozone.
Thus, banks are forced to pass on these higher costs to their mortgage and corporate consumers. In addition, stricter regulations are shackling the ability of banks to access cheaper funds. So, the BoE allocates a gateway for participating banks to lower their cost of borrowing, in the hope that these banks will pass on the benefits by creating cheaper loans to households and SMEs (Small and Medium Enterprises). The catch for these banks is the haircut. This basically means that the value of the collateral (a security pledged for loan repayment) provided to the BoE by banks is higher than the value of the loans, which provides the BoE a safety cushion if the loans turn ‘sour’. For example, Barclays will need to “pay” £120 (the value of the collateral they decide to put forward) if its £100 loan turned sour. Therefore, if the banks make risky bets, the BoE wouldn’t incur any losses as those banks will have to “pay” this loss. Furthermore, the lending activities are monitored by the BoE and so the tax-
payers are fully shielded from any loan losses. However, there are doubts to this scheme. Firstly, confidence in the UK to spend is still low, meaning households and firms are reluctant to take advantage of what may potentially be cheaper loans. Secondly, the participating banks have so far only borrowed £60bn - £20bn short of the £80bn goal the BoE desires. This gives the impression that even the lenders themselves aren’t too confident with the scheme. In my opinion, the scheme will bring a much needed supply of credit and may free up the mortgage market. However, initial figures suggest that in August (when the scheme was introduced), the number of mortgages approved remained unchanged, so we will have to wait and see whether this scheme really will do us any good. However, an option that should also be considered, is to allow a greater choice of loans and flexible financing options for mortgage and corporate consumers.
T
marijuana!
here is something inherently peaceful about marijuana. It’s the smooth inhalation of the magic smoke, the sudden rush that seals you firmly to the sofa, the inevitable craving for fried chicken from those friendly Greeks at the end of the road. None of that coke fuelled madness, none of those crazy visions of Mayan warriors you get with mushrooms. Just peace. Perhaps that it is why it is the single most-consumed illegal drug in the world. Hell, until you see it in writing, you could well believe it’s not illegal at all. Whether you bake it, bong it or stick it in a spliff, the west loves a little bit of hash. One reason for this is because it is so easy to get, another because, for a drug, there is very little stigma attached to it. The police barely prevent it in a lot of countries, it’s decriminalised in many states and nations across the world and it is completely legal in ten. This does, however, create a difficult marring between the legal and illegal economy. The demand is ‘high’ (excuse the pun), as is the supply and the best thing is, in many cases, a lot of that supply is entirely legal! The USA, where 13 states have decriminalised marijuana consumption, produces about 50 per cent of its own weed often under legal conditions. It only becomes contraband when it crosses the state lines. In total around 22,000 metric tonnes of weed are consumed in America each year. That’s a lot of 3am trips to McDonalds! As with most products, globalisation has seen the diversification of weed. There’s Moroccan, an often potent breed which controls a large
portion of the market, and ‘Black’ hashish, a product of soft, oily texture which is slightly harder to find. The better the weed tastes, the higher it costs; kind of like the distinction between Sainsbury’s basics and Taste the Difference. An eighth of crumbly ‘slate’ can cost as little as £14 whilst the strong, organic ‘Nederhash’ can cost up to £30 for the same weight. Don Winslow’s 2010 novel, Savages, tells the story of two young Californian pot-growers pitted against a Mexican cartel eager to franchise their secret recipe. The image of weed farmers delicately caring for their plants is bizarrely romantic; there is even the Oaksterdam University which teaches young Californian growers how to improve their crop. But smallscale, organic farmers are at risk. As the demand is increasing, so is the supply. Drug kingpins are buying out these small scale farms and replacing them with a lot less peaceful, less ethical industry. No more organic pot, no more stoner dealers, just more guns and death. It is sad consequence of an illegal industry. So what of legalisation? Can we transform the massive economic losses from enforcement, $7.4bn in the US alone, into net profits? Libertarian Milton Friedman seems to think so. If there is a market, there are profits. We should compare weed to alcohol and cigarettes. Sure, they’re bad for you, but who is the government to tell us what to do and taxation and regulation could see profits of at least $2.4bn. In the words of the great reggae star Peter Tosh – who coincidently I can only stand when I’m high – ‘Legalise it!’ WestMidlandsPolice
A
new eurozone permanent bailout facility has been announced following a meeting of European finance ministers in Luxembourg. The European Stability Mechanism is a 500bn euro fund aimed at providing loans to any of the 17-nation currency bloc in financial difficulty. It is designed to run alongside, and eventually replace, the temporary European Financial Stability Facility which has so far lent 190bn euros to Greece, Ireland and Portugal. Spain is currently the most likely country to request to dip into the fund, as soaring government debt and a big budget deficit (the difference between a country’s yearly spending and tax revenues) haunt their ailing economy. One of the instruments of the ESM, the Enhanced Conditions Credit Line, was suggested on Friday as being available to Spain should the country request it. The credit line could be used to buy Spanish government bonds - debt with which countries finance their budget deficits. Alternatively, the credit line could be used to insure Spanish government debt bought by private investors, thus reducing the risk borne by investors and hopefully lowering the interest payable on the bonds. The ESM would be ready to deploy the credit as soon as Spain makes the potentially politically damaging
move of requesting a loan. Madrid’s reluctance to request financial aid rests on the consequence of relinquishing part of Spain’s economic sovereignty to the EU should it be given the loan.Greece, the economy closest to the brink of exit from the euro, is currently negotiating conditions for the resuming resumption of lending from emergency funds from international lenders; the IMF and the ECB. The International Monetary Fund has said it is unwilling to extend further credit to Athens without a cut in the debt level. This would be achieved through writing off the debt (known as a “haircut”) and would result in significant losses for Germany and the contributors to the previous bailout funds, as they would see no return on a proportion of the
WorldEconomicForum
Cam Copland bathimpact writer
“Can we pick up a White Castle on the way home?”
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
15
Science & Technology
www.bathimpact.com
Prof. Science: How far can we fall?
Our trustworthy scientist looks into the inner calculations of Felix Baumgartner but we get by. There are over 5 bones in the human body, which means that if one was to do something as stupid as jumping off a building, you could very conceivably break one to many bones – which can lead to a severe case of hospitalisation or death. Now, in the case of jumping off a building the force going through our bodies depends on the negative acceleration of the landing. Another way to put that is the deceleration that is caused by you landing on the ground is directly related to the force that will be exerted on your body and, as such, will have to be weathered by your skeleton. Now, acceleration has a time component – it is your change in speed per unit of time (usually the second, but each to their own of course). Therefore if your landing takes 2 seconds instead of 1 then you will experience half the force. This is the secret science behind those “parkour” fellows doing rolls when they land from height – extend the landing time as much as possible to decrease the force through bones and joints. When you step off the edge of something, the only force acting on your body will be the force of gravity. This acts towards the centre of the earth at about 10 (although if you eat a lot this can be increased to 11). So the speed you would accumulate each sec-
ond is an extra 10 metres per second towards the centre of the earth, so in one second of free fall you can reach 22.4 miles per hour! However, to accumulate that speed you would have to jump off something 5 metres high. Some bones, like the femur, can withstand very large amounts of longitudinal stress – i.e. you would have to squish one very hard on each end to break it – in the region of hundreds of kilograms (which is why obese people don’t just shatter on the inside). But if an impact is very short this limit can be reached very quickly. Like if an obese person jumped and landed with locked knees. Or someone fairly high off the ground did the same thing. But, more importantly, the human ankle has literally tens of small bones all connected by fairly weak tissue just asking to be broken. Thus that’s fairly easy to break or sprain. Not falling into the ground takes a constant upward force of your mass times 10 Newtons. So if you have any speed when you hit the ground you need to add your mass times your deceleration. So if you are 1 metre and you flexed and took a half second to land that would be your mass times 4. If you were 2 metres up it would be your mass times 8. This goes on. But at any point if you don’t flex your ankles in exactly the right way, you could
subject them to huge multiples of your weight. Something you truly want to avoid if you want to keep on walking. So if there is any moral to this story
then let it be thus: if on a scale of 1 to Felix Baumgartner you are higher than absolute zero, you should climb down very, very slowly. DariusGilani Flickr
O
n the 14th of October a man named Felix Baumgartner jumped out of a really funky looking helium balloon from 128,100 feet above the Earth’s surface. This is 24 miles above Earth, and this is mind-bogglingly insane. I literally cannot stress enough that, despite my huge scientific achievements, this man has my approval. But this got me thinking. He did all this falling and eventually dropped a parachute behind him and landed on the ground. A morbid question springs to mind; what would have happened had his parachute not opened? He would almost certainly have become very broken, very quickly. But this leads us to other questions. Science questions! As we all know, Newton made up some equations a while back. They aren’t perfect but they will suffice. We know that force=mass x acceleration. We also know (though Newton was less rigorous with this one) that too much force = broken things. Things like your bones or joints for example. Now, humans are relatively weak flesh bags and were designed by God to look as though they’ve evolved from far less bipedal ancestors. This means things like our spines are not exactly perfect for this whole ‘stand-up walking’ thing we developed a while back -
Our fragile oceans: end of the line? I
go to Whitby (the Yorkshire seaside town) several times a year. I walk onto the pier and look out on the North Sea. The brown murky water of the river mixes with the sea, equally as opaque and a slightly different shade of dirt. Once or twice I’ve seen a lone seal cutting through the water, but usually the only life I see are the seagulls flying past, bothering tourists or squabbling over an abandoned chip, and the rats running across the rocks by the water and picking at the discarded wrappers and papers. This junkyard ocean fills our plates with its fruits, but those plates are slowly becoming emptier; the pickings becoming smaller and increasingly younger. Our love of the Atlantic cod has forced it to sexually mature at a younger age or face the real risk of having too few survive to reproduce before being caught and battered. This is an example that has made headlines, as the change has occurred over a couple of generations and is therefore obvious - evidence of it can be found in photographs and in living memory. There are, however,
many more things that were lost so long ago that they no longer make headlines, or are indeed not thought about at all. The real gravity of the situation we find ourselves in now is masked by our own blindness to the past. Our problem lies in our difficulty in seeing back further than the experiences of our own lifetimes; each generation compares the state of affairs now to what it was like as far back as they can remember, and each comes back with the response that situations have deteriorated and that things must be done to improve it. However, we are mostly thinking only in terms
of returning the oceans to the state of perhaps two or three generations ago, when this incredibly diverse and essential interconnected array of ecosystems has been in decline for many hundreds of years. We have gradually seen the depletion of the oceans’ fish stocks, but it is important to bear in mind that alongside that trend there has been another; the gradual advancement in technology for finding and accessing these stocks. So, as we are finding fewer fish over a much larger area than in the past, so the downwards curve is much steeper than it appears on the surface. The murky North Sea that I have
quinet
Holly Narey Environmental correspendent
Delcious, but at risk. Our oceans could be empty by 2050.
spent so much of my childhood and adult life beside used to be a far cry from how it is now; vast oyster reefs used to line the ocean floor, filtering this silt from the water and stabilizing its flow, along with providing a whole new habitat to support diversity of sealife comparable to the tropics. In the distant past, it was thought that the North Sea would have been clear. This is because there were the rivers running into these cleaner oceans, when rainwater slowly made its way through the barriers presented by our ancient forests before we cut them down and groundwater flow took the soil and any chemicals along with it, causing eutrophication both in rivers and seas. Ocean trawling, most likely responsible for the destruction of the oyster reefs, dates back as far as the 1300s, and as a result so much of the history of lost diversity has almost passed from scientific records into legend, and conservation budgets and plans cannot be based on old wives’ tales. I have recently been reading The Unnatural History of the Sea (by York lecturer Callum Roberts) and the stories within of the wonders the sea has been lost due to the overexploitation
by man are truly shocking. The massacre of the gentle sea cow, our loss of the gray whale, the many stories through history where man has found places of huge diversity and biological wealth, and picked it clean through short-sightedness and greed. For many hundreds of years, monarchs and governments have introduced restrictions to reduce the destruction of our underwater resources, but these have never yet been successful in halting or reversing the decline significantly. The planned formation of Marine Conservation Zones (MCZs) in the North Sea, and similar projects being started in many other countries, may mean that it could be our generation that is finally successful where others have failed. On Wednesday the 10th of October, an eye the size of a grapefruit washed up on a Florida beach, thought by scientists to have belonged to an abnormally sized swordfish. Around 2 new species of fish are discovered every week, and these are often put straight onto the IUCN endangered list. The ocean holds many of the Earth’s final mysteries; we can only hope that we have a chance to find them.
16
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Science & Technology
www.bathimpact.com
Why we need to do more mad s***! bite Editor Thomas Gane shares his views on the need for crazy science this may seem a strange decision when all we got was about 10 minutes of excitement out of a few hours effort (although this does sound remarkably like a night at XL). However, unlike most nights at XL the reason why at the end was incredibly clear. Who can honestly say they didn’t look at Felix stand on the edge and think, “fucking hell mankind is awesome”. When he disappeared downwards the only thing equivalent to it was falling off the edge in a video game, that was how quickly and perfectly vertically he fell. It was a ridicu-
“
Science needs to be sexy.”
lously awesome thing. To cap it all off he landed on his feet. On his fucking feet! After jumping from almost 40km up in the air he landed on his feet. All I could think was fuck you Mother Nature, you have been bested by man. Suck our collective seven billion person dick.
Science needs this. There’s obviously amazing benefits from this specific experiment (like astronauts being able to jettison themselves back to earth from space like in Star Trek), but the biggest benefit to me is every kid who watched Stratos and thought, “physics is bitching”. Science needs to be sexy. Like that one hot teacher we all had, science needs to give your brain an erection every now and again to make you take notice. Science needs it’s equivalents of the Olympics to make people think, I want to do science. There’s not so much of that anymore. We used to be a little bit more crazy with our inventions and although most didn’t work, fuck me were they exciting. Manned space exploration is being pulled back, planes are getting bigger to sell more seats rather than faster to get more awesome and I still can’t watch 50ft tall robots fight on TV. Obviously we need to do the important stuff too and most of it is equally exciting once you’ve immersed yourself in some science, but from an outside point of view it’s just some blobs on a slide or some numbers on a board.
As such I’m thankful that my parents made me watch Concorde, had me read Dinosaur books and got posters of Formula One cars for my walls. It may have been dull at first, but now
when I see blobs on a slide or some numbers on a board I associate it with the awesome shit and somewhere deep in the pants of my brain, something stirs. redbullstratos
A
few years ago my mum sat me down and made me watch Concorde’s last flight and I wasn’t entirely sure why. I mean I was a ten year old boy so I was quite happy to watch a long pointy plane that went ridiculously fast, but I wasn’t entirely sure why it was more important than me looking at formula one cars that went ridiculously fast or dinosaurs that could run ridiculously fast and pick up a formula one car in its mouth. It was just a plane that I thought was cool amongst thousands of other things that my ten year old brain enjoyed. Flash forward about 9 years and I totally get it. On the 14th of October I assume that most of us were amongst the 8 million people who watched the live stream of Felix Baumgartner free falling from 128,000 feet. My housemates and I sat in the living room watching it on the TV for about 3 hours in total; even the bit that was a balloon that looked like a Jellyfish being inflated while an American man talked about things we’d all read about earlier that day. Seen as we all had coursework to be doing, beer to be drinking and sexual organs to be pleasuring,
A triumphant Felix celebrating his descent
It is nice to be mice PhD Perfection W
ho recalls the singing mice in Cinderella? Potentially not the main focus of the story, but as it turns out, not so far from the truth. You heard it here first, as far as performing rodents go, Disney isn’t exactly wrong… A Dr Erich Jarvis has recently overseen a study into understanding the way mice make sound. The study demonstrated that when mice are housed together they learnt to match the pitch of their songs in a similar way to songbirds and humans. Previously it has been understood that male mice tend to sing to the females as an important part of courtship. I like to think of this as serenading, so in the interest of female mice, I guess it’s pretty much the height of romance in rodent circles. These sounds are out of the range of human hearing, but when they are processed actually sound like a series of whistles. An important thing to remember here folks, is that humans are not mice. It is still not socially acceptable to whistle at a passing female just because it works for mice. Anyway, moving on, the reason
Erich is so excited about this is it was believed that mice had no control over these sounds, until now. It turns out that they very much are. When housed together over a period of weeks they demonstrated aspects of vocal learning as they were able to converge the pitch of their voices. (Group bonding at its best) However, this isn’t the only
circumstances where this is possible, apparently when two males and a female are housed together, the smaller of the two males changes his pitch to match the larger. I suppose imitation really is the best form of flattery. Maybe not quite enough to go on the hunt for your very own Stuart Little though… RuudHein
Elena Ramsamy bathimpact writer
Could they perform in Grease 2: The Squeakquel?
Simon O’Kane bathimpact writer
This article is about perfectionism in science; if you were hoping to read about the science of perfectionism, prepare to be disappointed. As undergraduates, we are lectured about simple problems that have simple solutions, expressible in terms of exact symbolic mathematics. The quantum energy levels of an electron in a hydrogen atom are a good example; these can be calculated exactly, not in terms of numbers but in terms of mathematical functions and constants. I can write down the solution without doing a single numerical calculation. This works because the hydrogen atom contains only one electron. However, atoms with more than one electron cannot be solved exactly. Either a computational model, a form of trial and error, can be used to find the answer, or approximations can be applied to get an approximate symbolic solution. This problem arises in all areas of science and engineering; real-life problems do not have perfect solutions. I wasted my first six months playing around with tables of integrals before grudgingly accepting the need
to use computational integration. This is a bit daft really, considering there are some pretty accurate integration techniques out there. Even where there is an exact solution, its sheer complexity can overwhelm the researcher if it is pursued too soon. This has probably held me back even more than my initial stubborn refusal to embrace computational integration. Much better to do the simple bits first, then use approximations to get a rough answer before building up to the solution. Of course, it’s often too easy to go too far the other way, applying approximations that just don’t work, resulting in an incorrect answer. To test your approximations, apply the model to either a simple system to which either an exact or approximate solution is well-known, or compare with experimental results where they already exist. As I haven’t yet finished my PhD, I cannot yet provide a full account of how rigorous or not I should have been. But I felt compelled to write this now, as a warning to those coming after me. My basic point is this: perfectionism, in science as elsewhere, can both drive you to achieve the best and hold you back from doing so.
Monday 8th October 2012
bathimpact
17
World
www.bathimpact.com
Le mythe du Français typique dissequé bathimpact’s Constance Ellul et Constance Hermann nous expliquent ce qu’est vraiment, selon elles, the French Art of Life. pousser mémé dans les orties, on a tout de même remplacé notre camembert pour votre cheddar, notre bon vin pour votre bière et notre fameuse et délicieuse baguette pour vos toasties. Nous savons s’adapter quand il le faut ! True story ! 3) On s’habillerait apparemment d’une façon trop chic et parfois déplacée du fait que nous ne sommes que des étudiants. L’habit ne fait pas le moine, comme on dit chez nous. C’est vrai que nous avons été éduqués à aimer les vêtements, la mode en général. Mais ne vous méprenez pas, ce n’est pas parce que vous n’êtes pas habillés en Yves St Laurent qu’on vous considère pas comme élégant. Si ça vous rassure, on apprécie autant que vous d’être en gros pull et jogging ! 4) Les françaises ne s’épilent pas. Qui a bien pu répandre cette rumeur ? Juste pour que vous sachiez, on déteste autant que vous les poils, et l’une des questions existentielle de nos conversations entre filles consiste aussi à savoir si le rasoir ou la cire est la manière la plus efficace pour s’épiler. 5) On est froid. On préfère se considérer comme étant des person-
nes ayant une attitude mystérieuse quand on rencontre de nouvelles personnes. Si vous pensez qu’être franc, c’est être froid et impoli vous devriez regarder cela différemment. Vous apprendrez à apprécier notre franchise, et vous nous demanderez bientôt d’être votre nouveau compagnon lors de vos virées shopping! De plus, si vous avez comme souvenir la fois ou vous avez demande a un parisien votre chemin et qu’il vous a répondu froidement, n’oubliez pas que Paris n’est pas la seule ville en France (contrairement à ce que certaines personne peuvent penser.) 6) Les Français fument comme des pompiers… (fair enough) Certes on ne peut pas dire le contraire! Pour voir le “bon” cote de la chose, on peut dire qu’on est facilement repérable à parade! 7) Notre flemme légendaire! On a prouvé que lorsqu’on voulait.. On pouvait! Souvenez-vous de notre magnifique performance lors de la coupe du monde de football en 1998. De plus, avez-vous besoin de nous pour vous rappeler que nous vous avons battus lors de la coupe du monde de rugby l’année dernière? (sans rancunes, et comme on
dit chez nous: qui aime bien châtie bien!) 8) On est connu comme étant d’excellents cuisiniers. La cuisine française est connu dans le monde entier mais il vous suffira de vous rendre dans nos cuisines d’étudiants
britanică din sud-vest. După cum știți, probabil, începând din acest an a primit undă verde și Societatea Românilor, ca o dovadă a nevoii de a ne cunoaște între noi, de a ne aduna când timpul permite să mai schimbăm o vorbă românească. Astfel, îi încurajez pe cei care încă nu au apucat să se familiarizeze cu această societate să o descopere cât mai curând, întrucât va exista câte ceva pentru gusturile fiecăruia!
Revenind la mesajul central al articolului, am să profit de șansa de a da spre publicare aceste rânduri pentru a spune că, din postura de studentă în anul al doilea, Bath este un loc minunat, care merită nu numai vizitat, ci și “aprofundat”, având mereu parte de surprize și descoperiri. De pildă, suprafața aparent restrânsă a unui oraș aflat în patrimoniul UNESCO ascunde faimoasele Terme Romane, loc pe care l-am revizitat înainte de începutul anului universitar. Deși a fost a treia oară când m-am aflat în postura de turistă la Baile Romane, încă mi se pare că mai e ceva de văzut. Mai ales, apreciez abordarea pragmatică a ideii de ghid turistic individual, pe suport audio, astfel încât fiecare să poată selecta zonele de interes, în ritmul propriu. Mergând mai departe, mai mult decat un lăcaș religios, Catedrala din Bath (Bath Abbey) este o continuare a exemplului de mai sus, în ideea de facilitare a accesului la nivel de curiozitate și interes al turiștilor. Spiritul organizat care definește istoric lumea anglo-saxonă își spune cuvântul atunci când la intrarea în
catedrală veți fi întâmpinați de pliante într-o mare de limbi străine, printre care și română! Se pare că politica administrativă este de asemenea natură încât să încurajeze turiștii către un voluntariat cultural, toate traducerile fiind mărturie în acest sens. Bineînțeles, viața de student în Bath presupune mult mai mult decât detalii despre obiective turistice. Am
pour vous rendre compte que nos repas sont principalement fait de toasties, d’œufs brouilles et de beans! On a d’ailleurs était impressionné par certains de nos colocataires qui se trouvaient être de vrais « cordons bleus! » ConstanceEllul
O
n ne pouvait s’empêcher de se demander comment les Anglais nous voyaient, nous, les Français. Après avoir effectué un petit sondage dans Bath, on s’est vite rendu compte que beaucoup de préjugés sur les Français n’étaient pas fondés. Prenez alors ce petit article, comme un guide pour mieux nous comprendre ! Les préjugés suivants sont ceux qui sont le plus revenus: 1) Appelons un chat un chat, comme notre fameuse expression, les Anglais pensent que nous puons (ou du moins que nous sentons très fort). Pour être tout à fait honnête, c’est vrai que nous ne sommes pas autant à cheval sur l’hygiène comme le sont nos chers amis les Américains. Cependant, on vous promet, nous prenons des douches comme vous tous ! Par contre, on met peutêtre un peu trop de parfum ?! 2) On est hautains. Ce serait dur de complètement nier ce fait mais on ne se donnerait pas pour autant ce trait. Les Français sont réputés pour être fiers de leur pays et de leurs habitants. On aurait du coup surement un peu trop d’orgueil. Il ne faut pas non plus
Nos deux francaises croquant the French Life a pleines dents
Et in Bath ego: grosso modo Iona Daria Lupu bathimpact scriitor
B
sludgegulper
a plouă, ba e soare. Ba te enerveaza soarele, ba tânjești cu disperare după el. Și parcă tot vrei ceva, nu chiar așa ... dar nici așa ... Dacă măcar o dată te-ai confruntat cu un gând asemănător micilor contre de mai sus, înseamnă că se cuvine să spun “Bun venit în Bath!” deopotrivă bobocilor (fie ei la studii de licență, sau mai avansați) și celor care se reîntorc la aventura
Frumosul oraș Sighișoara, România
“
Ba plouă, ba e soare ... Bun venit în Bath!”
ținut însă, să subliniez aceste lucruri, deoarece găsesc că sunt două exemple concrete despre deschiderea englezilor către melange-ul cultural. Într-adevăr, mai ales ca student, descoperi ușor că ai ajuns întrun loc unde schimburile culturale sunt la ordinea zilei, ținand seama de alcătuirea corpului studențesc internațional. În mod cert, este o experiență pe care o recomand tuturor! Când am venit prima oară,
neconsiderându-mă o persoană debordând de sociabilitate, dar nici o fire timidă sau retrasă, am avut un șoc în a mă adapta la stilul de viață (mai ales socială) de aici: obiceiuri noi, mentalități complet diferite și nu foarte mult timp la dispoziție, spontaneitatea fiind esențială. Cu timpul, aceste bariere culturale sunt mediate într-o proporție semnificativă de cultura engleză care acționează precum o valvă, pulsând un mix de obiceiuri internaționale și limbi străine întro societate clădita pe tradiții, dar maleabilă în a accepta “noul”. În speranța că am putut oferi un preambul pentru incursiunea mea în aventura Bath – Marea Britanie – studenție, îmi permit să îi încurajez pe nou-veniți să ia contact cât mai mult cu grupuri mixte ca naționalități, acestea acționând ca un liant în favoarea rocadei de la cultura românească la cea britanică. Vă aștept pe toți să împărtășim gânduri și idei în cadrul Societății Românilor, unde sunt bineveniți studenți din toate colțurile lumii. La urma urmei, ospitalitatea și jovialitea românească ne-au recomandat întotdeauna ca nație!
18
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
World
www.bathimpact.com
It’s time for Africa: a safari adventure As part of this week’s adventure theme bathimpact’s Kylie Barton tells us about her life-changing trip to Swaziland and Mozambique visit was heartbreaking, of course it was. It was every bit as bad as you imagine an African hospital to be. After arriving however, your job as a volunteer was to give the parents a break from the agony they were going though. You made the children smile, you coloured with them, played games, blew up balloons, anything just take their mind away from reality for a few seconds. Even just spending ten minutes with them makes a huge difference to their day to day existence by putting a smile on their otherwise drained faces. We were in Swaziland for two weeks in total including five days camping in Kruger National Park. The bus journey there itself was fantastic especially seeing as I stuck to the ‘drink when you see your first member of the big five rule” (Elephant, Rhino, Lion, Water Buffalo, Hippo). Summer is definitely the time to go, as even though it is their winter, and the night air is penetratingly cold, you see so much more. I have since been back in December and there is no comparison. The t rip ended in a rather more relaxing environment, a massive beach hut on the coast of Mozambique. We were there to spot Whale
Sharks, and I sure spotted one. We had been searching for hours and all of a sudden, I see this mouth a meter wide coming at me. I managed to get on top of it... Not a great plan as the tail was heading my way and they are beefy mammals. I managed to dive off to the side before being knocked
something different to offer, and as Darwin discovered, there is much variation between once related species, depending on which island they inhabit and therefore the environment they evolved in. In September I was lucky enough to do a 10-day tour of the islands starting and ending in Ecuador’s capital, Quito, Ecuador’s capital. The flight from the mainland to either of Galapagos’ two airports takes just over 2 hours. On arrival at Baltra airport we were met by our G-Adventures guide Jeorge and headed to our boat, ‘El Pelikano’. We spent 8 nights on board the 10-bierth boat, navigating from island to island. Sleeping on a top bunk with no railings during night navigations was an interesting experience to say the least, however by the end of our trip we were all very used to life on board. We slept and ate all our meals on board; the chef was amazing and cooked a huge variety of food, including traditional Ecuadorian dishes! We ate early breakfasts before being dropped by upon whichever island we were visit-
ing that day. On our tour we visited islands including: Santa Cruz, San Cristobal, Española and Santa Fe. We walked around the islands to see the sights and wildlife and snorkelled most days with rays, sharks, penguins, marine iguanas, sea turtles, a huge array of fish and a lot of extremely inquisitive and playful sea lions. The whole trip was incredible but there were a few moments that will live with me forever. On Española we had the opportunity to see nesting blue-footed boobies,
out, but as I did I bashed a fellow swimmer giving her a bloody nose. There were great laughs all round at the dinner table that night, a dinner table full of the best sea food I have ever eaten. Everyone says that such an experience changes your life and who
you are as a person, and even as the most stubborn girl in the world I can assure you it will. I have made close friends that I still see two years later to this day. It gives you a whole new sense of perspective in life, and makes you re-think the things that you previously called ‘problems’. KylieBarton
U
nlike some, I decided to take a gap month instead of a gap year; forcing me to cram a hell of a lot of things off my bucket list into 31 days. These included, going to a country I had never even heard of, nearly being eaten by a whale shark, and ‘falling in love’ with an exotic stranger. I worked 40 hours a week whilst at college to save for the trip of a life time. One month in Africa: safari, beach, community work and a journey of self discovery. I booked through Real Gap, which I would highly recommend as they are there for you every step of the way. My adventure took me to Swaziland, which is one of three remaining absolute monarchies in the world and has a very complex political situation. This made it an absolutely fascinating place to volunteer. The level of poverty there is among the worst on the continent and, as a volunteer, I got to help build safe bathroom facilities in rural schools, teach the children and ensure they had sufficient meals. The itinerary was flexible and you could choose which area you would prefer to spend your time. I found myself going to the local hospital daily for an hour. The first
The African Elephant, one of the so-called ‘big five’, can weigh more than 500,000 pounds
Galapagos: a voyage of discovery I
n 1835, Charles Darwin’s boat the HMS Beagle first caught a glimpse of a series of islands which would prove invaluable to the most important scientific discovery of the 19th Century. Now, just over 150 years since the publication of ‘On the Origin of Species’, the Galapagos islands, located 600 miles off the coast of Ecuador, has become one of the most idyllic tourist locations in the world, attracting 160,000 visitors a year. The birth of the islands was not a simple process, however by and large but you can think of the islands as being produced as the products of a single volcanic hot spot under the ocean. This in turn is slowly being moved south east with the movement of the tectonic plate on which they rest. This means the ages of the islands differ. The islands in the north west being the youngest and therefore having much less vegetation and biodiversity than the older south eastern islands. Each island has
getting as close as just a meter or so away. The females would constantly honk at the males to keep them inline and would instruct the males to take charge of their young or eggs (which they don’t have a nest for but protect by resting on top of their blue feet), allowing her to position herself favourably in front of the many tourists. We saw countless sea lion colonies and were lucky enough to see one female give birth. On one of our night navigations we watched dolphins surfing in the bow wave, illumiTaliaCox
Talia Cox bathimpact travel writer
A Galapagos tortoise with some Galapagos tourists
nated by the phosphorescence and also spent a night near Bartolomé Island watching black tip sharks circling our boat. On Española we saw waved albatrosses performing their daily courtship rituals where they whistle at the sky and fight with their long bills, as well as their huge, grey, fluffy chicks. The albatrosses would circle a possible landing spot several times before finally settling down – their wingspan can reach 2.25m so landing can be perilous. On Santa Cruz we visited Lonesome George’s enclosure (unfortunately a few months too late to see George himself) and saw the remaining giant tortoises, which can reach 400kg and live over 100 years. People are sometimes surprised to hear that over 25,000 people live on the islands – however the hospitality and kindness we were shown by the crew and the locals was another factor in making our trip so amazing! The wildlife and scenery in Galapagos is unique and beautiful and I couldn’t recommend a trip there more highly.
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
19
Activities
www.bathimpact.com
Sharing the knowledge: Teach First bathimpact looks at Teach First and their work to improve education minds to help make a difference in our most dissolute communities. ‘It’s simple. If you come from a wealthy family you are likely to do well in education. If you don’t you’re not’ Oliver tells me, reeling off the facts that confirm this; only 16 per cent of young people receiving free school meals progress to university compared to 96 per cent from independent schools, 70 per cent of finance leaders went
“
generally going one step beyond the requirements is something that seemingly makes Teach First graduates invaluable to many of the schools they are involved in. The organisation has not been without controversy. Some accused it of putting inexperienced graduates into the teaching field just to get a leg up with its associate companies (ranging from
Accenture to the Fast Stream programme), but Teach First is quick to challenge that. It is true that Teach First gives many of its graduates unique work experience and a decent salary, but its selective application process, its summer training programme, and support during the leadership development program ensures that the best teachers are selected and cybrarian Flickr
O
liver Hallam happily puts a lot of his success down to a two-year stint he did as a chemistry teacher in Barnsley at a severely disadvantaged school. Talking about the challenges of stepping straight out of university and into the challenging world of teaching in schools where more than 50 per cent of the children are from deprived backgrounds you get a good idea why. He talks of the fatigue and the misconceptions with teaching, but ultimately acknowledges the rewarding silver lining behind these hardships. ‘I always knew I’d enjoy teaching’ he says sipping his coffee, ‘and Teach First gave me that opportunity’. When squeezed between stands representing the likes of PwC and Goldman Sachs, it is sometimes difficult to make any assumptions about Teach First and its raison d’être. It proudly displays its reputation as a key graduate employer ranking 4th in the Times annual chart and this year it has expanded to take on 1250 students. In ten years Teach First has become one of the most respected employers in the country not through providing the standard doors into accounting or civil service, but rather using the young, energetic
Only 16 per cent of young people receiving free school meals progress to university
to independent school etc. It is with these shocking realities that Teach First emerges to challenge the quantitative nightmare which scares so many away from working in these parts of the country, and instead allow anyone with a passion for their subject and the guts to go with it to help make a real impact. Oliver had good days and bad days, ‘days when I was physically knackered, but having overcome the steep learning curve I began to realise the change you make’. Staying behind after school to give that little extra help and
Sharing the gift of knowledge is vital to Teach First
supported to be the best they can be. Having people who have completed the two year leadership development program, known as ambassadors, in different sectors is also an important part of the organisation’s strategy to achieve their vision. The results may be more personalised than statistical, but they must be doing something right, Teach First received support from all the major political parties as well as a legion of private companies keen to see a future generation of leaders being developed. Teach First gives you that rare opportunity to be both selfish and selfless at the same time. You perform a benevolent job for the community and in return receive the ends that come with it. For anyone interested in teaching as a career, it is a fantastic way to get started, and for those just wanting to do something different before they start another line of work, it may be worth a look. You might even decide to continue, like hundreds of other ex-Teach First candidates. Knowledge is our society’s greatest gift, why not share it? To find out more, Teach First will be holding a talk on the 1st November at 6.15-7.30 in the Claverton Rooms.
Volunteering at Bath Fireworks ‘12 W
macisaguy
ant to get involved in campaigning or activism and a bit confused where to start? Feel passionate about eradicating poverty, extending human rights and helping others? Student Community Action and Oxfam Campaigns have been working together for a few years and are looking to recruit a new campaign team of about 8 students from within the University to help cham-
pion their new programs and organise events this year! So, what’s the plan? Oxfam will be promoting their big four causes from now until March 2013 and these are Grow, For All, Rights in Crisis, and IF – with a particular focus on Grow for the Southwest division. Each of these focusing on a different issue facing our world and activities with them involved range from lobbing MPs to a music festival; or even a Land Grab! With Grow you will get the chance to campaign in fa-
Oxfam: making a real difference all over the world
vour of sustainable farming, combating climate change, to stop Land Grabs occurring and promoting a fairer food system. With Somerset being an excellent community and an area with traditional farming roots, there is a lot of possibility and a lot of opportunity for the University, the SCA and those who want to get involved to make a real difference in the world. Be it on a local stage or international! With Oxfam campaigns and the SCA the sky is the limit. So why should you do this? Well if you are passionate about what Oxfam stands for this is a great opportunity to stand up and get involved with real hands on experience. You will also get to learn some highly desirable skills such as event management, planning and marketing. You get to be involved in both the local media and if your event takes off… further afield! It’s a really great opportunity to pick up something that doesn’t demand too much of your time and makes a real difference in the world. If you are interested please either send an email to volunteers@bath.ac.uk or visit the Volunteering Office in 1E 3.17.
Sally Williamson Event Manager
Tickets for Bath’s biggest fireworks’ display are now on sale. Jointly organised by Bath RAG and Bath Rotary Club, raising funds for the Peggy Dodd Centre in Combe Down, the event promises to be a spectacular of pyrotechnics and performances, featuring BUSMS, BodySoc, Gravity Vomit, and MusicSoc. Advance student tickets are £3 (on the door this goes up to £5!) while adult tickets are £5 in advance (going up to £6 on the door). Tickets are
available on campus from the Plug bar and from Fresh Express in the Student Centre, at times sold on Parade, and are also available in town from Bath Rugby and Bath Building Society offices. Gates for the event open at 6, with performances at 7, and fireworks at 8pm. Food will be available on site, and the event will finish in time for you to head out to your favourite Saturday night after an evening of explosive entertainment! Get yours now – this is an event not to be missed! SJPhotos
Louise Williams Volunteer Support Worker
The fireworks’ display is a s
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
21
Sport
www.bathimpact.com
The BUCS Championships so far University of Edinburgh
2
University of Stirling
3
University of Exeter
474
4
University of St Andrews
473
5
University of Aberdeen
467
6
University of Glasgow
455
7
University of Bath
384
7
Oxford University
384
9
Leeds Met University
318
10 University of Dundee
University of Bath Basketball Club
BUCS Table after Week 2 1
683 479.5
295 University of Bath Basketball team playing against Oxford 1sts
Wednesday 10th October saw the 2012/13 BUCS fixtures get underway. As always the University of Bath featured heavily on the opening day of the season. It saw the Men’s Rugby Union first team thrash Cardiff University’s 1st XV 54-5. With seven tries for Bath, therefore getting Bath a bonus point. The University Basketball Men’s 1sts lost a closely fought game against Oxford University and not even 20 points from Captain Tom Janicot could prevent Bath from falling to a season
opener defeat by a very strong Oxford side. The Men’s 2nds were in action a week later against University of West England. They went on to win 77-49, led by Fresher Will Allen who got 14 points in the game. The second week of BUCS fixtures saw first games for some of our teams. The Badminton Club picked up where they left off from their form last season, when they were unbeaten against all universities. Both the men and women second teams beat the Exeter and Swansea first teams respectively
7-1. The University of Bath currently occupy 7th place in the BUCS table, above Loughborough. The men’s football 1st team, who were away at Swansea University drew 1-1 in their first game of their campaign. Meanwhile, IDFC is also two weeks into its calendar as each of the departments within the University of Bath battle it out on the football pitch to determine who really is the best department. All information correct at time of going to press
BUCS Results - Wednesday 17th October 2012 Swansea Football Men’s 1s
1-1
Bath Uni Football Men’s 1s
Bath Uni Football Women’s 1s
1-4
Portsmouth Football Women’s 1s
Bath Uni Hockey Women’s 1s
0-2
Exeter Hockey Women’s 1s
Bath Uni Lacrosse Men’s 1s
10 - 4
Swansea Lacrosse Men’s 1s
Swansea Basketball Women’s 1s
35 - 33
Bath Uni Basketball Women’s 1s
Bath Uni Badminton Men’s 2s
7-1
Exeter Badminton Men’s 1s
Bath Uni Badminton Women’s 2s
7-1
Swansea Badminton Women’s 1s
Bath Uni Basketball Men’s 2
77 - 49
UWE Basketball Men’s 2s
Bath Uni Football Men’s 2s
1-2
Exeter Football Men’s 1s
Glamorgan Rugby Union Men’s 1s
6 - 20
Bath Uni Rugby Union Men’s 1s
Aberystwyth Rugby Union Women’s 1s
27 - 24
Bath Uni Rugby Union Women’s 1s
Bath Uni Rugby League Men’s 1s
14 - 34
Oxford Rugby League Men’s 1s
Bath Uni Squash Men’s 1s
5-0
Exeter Squash Men’s 1s
Bath Uni Squash Women’s 1s
4-0
Bristol Squash Women’s 2s
Exeter Tennis Men’s 1s
4-8
Bath Uni Tennis Men’s 1s
Exeter Tennis Women’s 1s
6-6
Bath Uni Tennis Women’s 1s
Cambridge Table Tennis Men’s 1s
12 - 6
Bath Uni Table Tennis Men’s 1s
Frisbee Club is the Ultimate winner Caroline Leach impactsport Reporter
C
Caroline Leach
ertain questions have been raised about the Students’ Union’s commitment to smaller sports clubs by the University of Bath’s Ultimate Frisbee Club this week, as tournaments are cancelled and pitch allocations begin to bite. The first few weeks of the new semester are crucial for all sports clubs at the University as they attempt to meet their quota for mem-
bers. These quotas are handed to them by the Students’ Union and are required in order for Clubs to receive matched funding. Drawing in Freshers is obviously a huge part of their recruitment drive, and being able to offer training that is easy to access and at sociable hours is only going to help. One club in particular, Ultimate Frisbee, has raised concerns about the areas it has been allocated for training. On Wednesday afternoons, traditionally its largest practice with
Bath Ultimate Frisbee continuing their training
up to 80 people taking part, the club has been given the Medical Pitches next to the West Car Park. As well as the Frisbee team, the pitches also play host to the Lacrosse teams’ home games, which take place on a Wednesday afternoon. The space that the Ultimate club is left with is on a slope, not helpful for keeping your balance whilst running. A part of the field was used to pitch a marquee during Freshers’ week. As the grass has not yet recovered, the Ultimate team have been told that they are forbidden from using that section, approximately a quarter of the space they have been allocated. Before being given a pitch allocation, the team provided details of the space needed for them to train to the Students’ Union. When the club protested that the area given wasn’t big enough for them to conduct training, they were then offered additional space at the Sulis Club, on pitches a mile away from campus. Alex Brooks, the Ultimate Frisbee Team Captain, is disappointed about what he sees as a negative attitude towards less established clubs. He says: “people who want to play the main sports, i.e. rugby, football, netball etc. go [to University] with the intention of playing so would be willing to travel further than those who want to try out something new.” For the last 2 years training has been on the
St John’s Pitches and Alex wonders why that space has been given over to other teams. “Couldn’t they have gone to the Sulis Club?” The team have also found reason to complain when it comes to their indoor training. Unable to use the STV Indoor Hall due to the STV policy of only allowing Netball and Badminton, the team can now be found at the Founders’ Hall at 7.30-9.30am on Monday or 4-5pm on Thursday. Unsociable hours that they say do not encourage participation. Agreements made by the STV have also been revoked. The women’s team captain, Charley Semmens, entered into negotiations with the STV to hold a 1 day tournament in the Founders’ hall on November 11th. Permission was granted and confirmation given, leading Charley to place a bid to hold the tournament with the UK Ultimate association. Charley was informed by the STV soon after winning the bid that the confirmation for the tournament had been cancelled and instead they would be granting the hall to the Futsal team for a BUCS fixture. By way of explanation, the Ultimate club were told that BUCS fixtures take priority over all other fixtures. When we questioned Jon Gleave, the Sports’ Officer, about this policy, he informed us that in order to
play in the BUCS league, the Sports’ Association has to enter into an agreement with BUCS. This agreement states that they will commit to holding any and all tournaments they are asked to host. If the SA goes against this agreement then they are forced to pay a hefty fine. Ultimate is a fairly new sport in the UK so we asked other Ultimate teams around the country if they themselves have experienced problems getting support from their Sports’ Associations. The general feeling was one of a recent turnaround in relations, with many teams saying that their Unions have only recently begun to offer facilities on a par with “elite BUCS winning teams”, to quote a player from Nottingham Trent. Dundee was the notable exception, they were once allocated the Tennis courts for a tournament and generally play in a public park in order to avoid dealing with their SA. It’s worth noting that Jon Gleave adamantly protests any suggestion of bias from the SA for BUCS or any other reasons. He points to the example of Taekwondo, a new club this year who have been given as much time in the dojo as other, much more established, teams. It remains to be seen whether the Ultimate club and the SA will be able to reach a happy compromise in this situation.
22
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Sport
www.bathimpact.com
Bath The race is on for Formula 1 Sport News S The last two races have made Red Bull firm favourites in the Constructors’ Championship, despite Webber being taken out by Romain Grosjean at the first corner in Japan; McLaren could only manage 4th and 5th. This was a better result than the poor form they showed in Korea where they only scored 1 point. This poor form has been compounded by a resurgence from Massa who gained his first podium of the season in Japan and could have easily taken 3rd place from Alonso in Korea. This
team form has moved Ferrari up to second and based on the torrid time that the McLaren drivers have been having in the last two races, Ferrari look like they’re going to be very hard to move from that position. With four races to go it is difficult to see the titles moving from where they have been for the last two seasons, however with the unpredictable nature of the racing this year the titles are not as secure as Red Bull and especially Vettel would like them to be.
Sebastian Vettel and Fernando Alonso stand on the podium after the Canadian Gran Prix
Learn how to save a life here Hannah Wheatley impactsport Reporter
L
ifesaving sport is possibly one of the least known sports in the UK despite being recognised by the International Olympic Committee. Originally developed to encourage lifeguards to maintain and improve the necessary physical and mental skills needed to save lives around water, the sport has now evolved to be internationally competitive with World Championships, Commonwealth
Championships, European Championships and forming part of the World Games. As such lifesaving is the only sport to have humanitarian origins, essentially to try to save more lives. There are two branches of lifesaving sport, beach lifesaving and pool lifesaving. The Bath University Club, due to a significant lack of coast in the city, compete in pool competitions. Competitions involve two parts speed events and SERCs (Simulated Emergence Response Competition). The speed events are far more diverse than
those at an average swimming competition. Teams of four compete both individually and together in a range of events involving ropes, fins, torpedo buoys and an orange dummy without arms and legs called Bob. There are (generally) two SERCs or incidents in a competition: one wet and the other dry. A team enters a situation and is tested under a time restraint to fish any casualties out of the water or treat any injuries and conditions they might be suffering from testing a competitors ability to think quickly and work effiUniversity of Bath Lifesaving Club
The latest edition of this column looks at the City football team, and the structural changes which are currently taking place at the club. Bath City FC boss Adie Britton stood down after their FA Cup defeat to Gosport Borough. His decision to step down has led his assistant Lee Howells to take the reigns of the club while Britton takes up the position of Director of Football. A club spokesman said: “The board met last night to discuss the start of the 2012/13 season. “Despite being top of the league after five matches, recent form has been very disappointing, culminating in our defeat at Gosport in the FA Cup. We do not make knee-jerk decisions and are mindful of two things, the overriding need to stick to the long-term plan we set out this summer, coupled with the need for change to revitalise this season. “Adrian Britton will become director of football development. In this role, Adrian will report into the board and will have responsibility for the evolving structure of the football operation including the academy and the development squad. “A lot of his time will be spent building relationships with other league football clubs and continuing to watch many games, our development squad, local teams and also possible player targets from further afield.” Unfortunately, Howells did not get off to a flying start and his first game in charge ended in defeat after Hayes and Yeading scored a last-minute penalty. City had twice come from behind but after loan debutant Harry Hooman’s challenge on Wishart was deemed to be a foul, there was no time for a third comeback. Howells now has the task of picking up his players to try to turn around the side’s fortunes, as his team are currently suffering down at the bottom of the Blue Square South.
ince I last wrote a column, the focus has shifted from the drivers market to the race for the championship starting with four drivers now it’s down to just two. Fernando Alonso came into the Japanese Grand Prix with a 29 point lead but over the past two races he trails Vettel by 6 points. This is a crucial blow for Alonso as he has been leading the championship since his second Grand Prix win this season in Valencia. Losing the lead at this late stage of the season will bring back uncomfortable memoires for Alonso who lost the championship to Vettel in the second half of the final race in 2010. This time however he has time to recapture the lead with 4 races and a possible 100 points available. Whether he will be able to however, is a different matter. Red Bull have locked out the front row of the grid for the last two races so clearly have the fastest car of the moment, which is a problem for Alonso. The upgrades Red Bull have been able to make have allowed Vettel to be completely dominant in the last two Grand Prix, added to the win he inherited from Hamilton in Singapore, so the momentum is
definitely in his side of the Red Bull garage. Japan brought more luck for Vettel, when a racy Alonso was caught by Raikkonnen and crashed out. With overtaking being so difficult in India and Abu Dhabi - good grid position will be crucial at these races. Once again this plays into the hands of Vettel as the Ferrari race pace has been good but their qualification pace is comparatively poor.
Globovisión
Simon Rushton impactsport Reporter
Members of the Bath Uni Lifesaving Club taking time out from the pool to practice at the beech
ciently as part of a team. The Bath University Lifesaving Club trains twice weekly for competitions, qualifications and fun throughout the year. This year the club will run an NPLQ course (National Pool Lifeguarding Qualification), which is both a nationally and internationally recognised qualification allowing the holder to be employed as a lifeguard. There is no pressure to compete or to take any qualifications if all you want to do is to learn how to save a life; come along to the sessions on Wednesday evening or Saturday afternoon. Everybody hopes that they will never come across a situation where it is necessary to perform CPR or tow an unconscious body from a river and statistically it is unlikely happen, but if the occasion should arise a little knowledge could make the difference between life and death. Recently the club has formed links with Christchurch Lifesaving Club and there are beach lifesaving trips planned with opportunities to surf and whizz around in an Inshore Rescue Boat. If you’re interested in learning more find us on Bathstudent, Facebook or email us at: lifesaving@bath. ac.uk
Monday 22nd October 2012
bathimpact
Sport
www.bathimpact.com
The way forward for sport? W
e have all heard of this phenomenon. Corridor Sport. The bizarre activity in which someone from your flat brings out a seemingly harmless round object and then the next minute you have the first world championship of Corridor Handball. This was exactly what happened in my flat as, no doubt, it did in yours. I came here on my first day, worried, nervous, and in need of a piss. Everyone else was in the same boat of course and the thing that got us talking was a ball. A Size Four Gilbert Training Rugby Ball. That was all it took. Later, someone else arrived with a football, we played with that and before you know it we were the acting as if we’d been friends since the age of three and a half. It didn’t stop there either. Someone discovered we had wheeliechairs and after a moments deliberation we decided that their main function was not one of practicality or stability, but of speed and precision. So we did not use them for sitting or working; that was boring. We used them for drag racing. With one person pushing and the other in the driving seat of a vehicle so dangerous that it made motorcycle racing look like a sport for backboneless, moronic wimps. One of our flatmates had a Lacrosse Stick/Racket/Bat and ball so we played hours and hours of Corridor Lacrosse. Corridor Frisbee, Corridor Sprinting, Corridor Hockey, Corridor American Football, Corridor Surfing, Corridor
Futsal, Corridor Poker, Corridor Snowboarding, Corridor Wakeboarding, Corridor Skateboarding, Corridor Juggling, Corridor Tiddlywinks, Corridor Tug of War and even Corridor Cricket with a bouncy ball and my own fucking chopping board that had been taken without my expressed fucking permission. The joke’s on them though; I hadn’t washed it since I had been cutting chicken on it the night before. It seems that every sport that the University has to offer - with state of the art facilities, state of the art coaches and state of the art equipment - don’t quite satisfy. We choose instead to make do with our corridor that measures 40m by a pathetic 80cm. So why do we play sport in this tiny space when we are at one of the best sporting universities in the world? It doesn’t make sense. In a corridor, there’s the chance of expensive damage done to the lights, to the smoke detectors and to the unnervingly thin windows. There’s also the damage done to people. Corridor Wheelie-Chair Drag Racing ripped the skin of one of the drivers’ knee. One person got a black eye from a stray, airborne Lacrosse stick and personally, I have been stuck many times by various balls in probably the most ironic place to get hit by one. So why do we do it? Well for one we’re drawn to sport in the same way that cavemen were drawn to fire. Let me rephrase that: The way men are drawn to fire. It’s in our blood and it makes us happy. We must have something to keep our hands full and busy. This is also
Gleave’s gripes
Elliott Campbell
Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter
The bathimpact team, hard at work, find time to get in on the craze partly the reason why we masturbate, true story. Many a time do I find myself sitting round the corridor with the rest of my flatmates with nothing to do; this is excruciatingly boring as sometimes the conversation can go dry, as it would with anyone. However with a ball in our hands, we can dip in and out of the conversation whenever we please, therefore boredom does not creep in and so we are prevented from butchering everyone with a large Marks and Spencer’s knife. I don’t go to jail, you don’t get horribly cut up, win-win. Others see it as a chance to exhibit their ‘majestic masculine plumage’. Boys for some reason believe if
a Rugby ball tossed up and caught behind someone’s back, the clothes of the nearest girl will spontaneously fall off. This is of course not true, as I have painstakingly discovered. However it does give boys a chance to get closer to women, and perhaps even to touch women. Corridor Sports is a great way to make friends and socialise, it’s how Wolfson Level 4 became such great friends and I envisage that’s the way you made friends in your flat too. If you haven’t tried it yet, do. It will reap benefits and it will bring your flat together into at tight-knit group of chums. Either that or you will end up in A&E with a broken neck. Do not try Corridor Judo.
Water Polo going swimmingly O
n telling people that you play water polo, most players will get one of two questions; “don’t the horses drown?” or “isn’t that really violent?” In answer to the first one, no (and yes, that joke did get old a long time ago), and in answer to the second… Well, sometimes. But this wasn’t the case when after a long summer break, the men’s 1sts faced Newton Abbott in their final Bristol & West league fixture. Even having not played together all summer, and against a team that train together all year round, an early goal from captain Joffy Heib took Bath into the lead. Despite good defence from Bath, Newton were able to equalize soon
after, however two further goals in the first quarter saw it finish with Bath leading 3-2. The second quarter continued in Bath’s favour, with some excellent saves from Tom Allbrook and 3 more goals leaving the half time score at 6-3. The third quarter was mostly uneventful until the last two minutes, when a player decided to spice it up by (accidentally) throwing the ball at the referee instead of throwing to him. Clearly distracted by this, Bath conceded 2 goals, leaving the score at 6-5. The final quarter involved quite a few send outs, leaving 2 of our players with two major fouls to their names. This meant defensively they had to step up, a feat which they managed well as they didn’t concede another goal, leaving the final score at 6-5. As the match went on, the team
began to look more and more together, which is a promising start for their coming BUCS season, having been promoted to South 1D
this year. The men’s 2nds and the women’s team will be in action in the next week, and hope to keep up the success shown in this match.
Simon Rickards
Nina Rickards impactsport Reporter
University of Bath Water Polo men’s team in action
23
Gaming Gaffs Last weekend I finally acquired an Xbox as a present from me, to me. I figured it was justified as it is that depressing time of year - the leaves are falling off the trees, and the sun has disappeared until next summer. As such, I felt the need to spend a large sum of money on a means by which I could shoot people in the face and take my frustrations out on unsuspecting Millwall footballers by virtually kicking them in the shins. Amongst my acquisitions was London 2012. I plan to take the game home and pretend to be a nice older brother by letting my little sister play for a few weeks over Christmas. Before handing it over to her grubby little paws though (I’m not that nice an older brother) I thought I should probably test it out for myself, you know, to check it was suitable and all. My gripe this week lies therefore with the world of video games, sport and how they interact. Don’t get me wrong, London 2012 is a lot of fun and when playing against friends, it can really get the heart pumping and promote a bit of friendly rivalry. I can’t help but think though that its physics and gaming principles are fundamentally flawed. I have two main problems with it, and both come in the pool. The first being on a breastroke, swimmers are allowed ONE dolphin kick at the start, not as many as quickly as you can smash the A button into a pitiful pile of dust. Also SEGA; when diving from a 10m platform in real life, it is physically impossible to rotate around a central axis without an external influencer acting upon the body in free fall (that BSc finally coming in handy). You cannot therefore adjust your angle of entry into the water by merely flicking a button at the last second. Things like this are apparent in so many games, FIFA 13 for example; Chris Kirkland is not good enough to stop my hundred miles per hours thunderbolt using nothing but his head without getting knocked the fuck out... I am taking this opportunity then to offer my services to all sporting games manufacturers the world round for 2013/14. I have a degree which specialised in biomechanical human movement and 15 years of gaming experience. I am also more than willing to spend eight hours a day watching a TV screen and eating pizza which I’m assuming helps.
impactsport Caleb Wheeler-Robinson
Monday 22nd October 2012
BUCS Fixtures underway Sport, page 21
Inside impactsport Lifesaving Club impactsport reporter Hannah Wheatley tells all on the Bath University Lifesaving Club and gives us a better idea on what they do and what they are about. Page 22 has the full story
Formula One news Simon Rushton gives his view on the latest happenings in the world of motorsport and analyses the race for the F1 World Championship and Constructors’ Championships. See page 22 for more information
Ultimate Frisbee pitch problem Olympic heroes (Left to right): Samantha Murray, Michael Jamieson, Heather Stanning, Katrina Hart, Liz Johnson and Paul Blake
Big welcome to 2012 medalists Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk
W
ednesday 10th October gave the students and staff of the University of Bath the chance to thank and welcome back those athletes who represented Great Britain at the Olympic and Paralympic Games. With Sebastian Coe’s Olympic Closing Ceremony speech and the Pet Shop Boy’s ‘West End Girls’ playing in the background as students and staff flocked into Founders’ Hall, the atmosphere for the event was set. The event was opened by Sports Development manager Greg Sharp who introduced the welcoming team, made up of Director of Sport, Steve Baddeley, Bernie Morley, Pro-Vice Chancellor (Learning and Teaching) and Chris Clements, Students’ Union President (pictured below with Heather Stanning). The lineup comprised of seven athletes with University links who won medals at the London 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games
this summer. As each athlete took to the stage, Chris had the opportunity to ask questions. First to be introduced to the audience was Sports Technology graduate Heather Stanning, who won Great Britain’s first gold medal of the Games alongside her rowing partner Helen Glover. They also became the first British women rowers to win an Olympic Gold medal. Stanning, who serves as a Captain in the British Army said: “I had no idea when I started rowing that I would ever make the national team, let alone go to the Olympics. So I’ve been really fortunate to have started here where there are such fantastic facilities and coaches. I am really grateful to the University of Bath for that.” French
and Politics finalist, Samantha Murray who won GB’s last medal at the Olympic Games with her silver medal in the Modern Pentathlon was also present. As she was introduced, a video of her medal winning moment was played. Murray, who could barely watch out of embarrassment, was met by huge applause from the staff and students gathered. She is now studying again and was entirely focused on her final year: “I’m really looking forward to getting on with my assignments, my presentations and my exams so that I can get this year over with and graduating.” Also at the event were, Michael Jamieson, who broke the British record three times en route to his silver in the
200m breaststroke. Alexandra Rickham, a Natural Sciences graduate returned to the University from which she graduated in 2004 to celebrate the bronze medal she won in the SKUD 18 sailing at the Paralympics. Paul Blake was also there after he won silver and bronze medals in the T36 400m and 800m respectively. Sports Performance graduate Katrina Hart who won a relay bronze and swimmer Liz Johnson winner of a bronze in the Aquatics Centre were both welcomed back. Greg Sharp refocused University sport by saying: “We would all like the europhia of 2012 to go on forever but the reality is already beginning to set in. So it’s time to start thinking about 2014 with the Winter Olympics and the Commonwealth Games and the preparation that brings for our athletes. “If you have been inspired by this summer of sport then don’t be afraid to take up the opportunities available here at the University of Bath, both competitively and recreationally, through the Sports Clubs and the 3:Thirty Club.”
Caroline Leech tells impactsport of the issues that the Ultimate Frisbee Club have faced with training space. She also talks of the difficulties smaller clubs can face up and down the country. Turn to page 21 to find out more
Netballers storm into record book Team Bath’s netballers have just found out that they are to feature in the 2013 edition of the Guinness World Records book as the most successful team in Superleague history.
Get involved
If you are interested in sport and want to contribute, then contact the bathimpact Sport Editor Matthew Powell (impact-sport@bath.ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get involved. We’re always on the lookout for for writers, photographers, people to lay up, or just all round sports buffs in general to help out. So, if you have a story you want to share, don’t be afraid to get in touch!
nda
y 22
man
Caleb Wheeler-Robsinson
Ro
Mo
ndO
ctobe
ce
r
2
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite www.bathimpact.com
bite Editorial: Romance
A nibble of bite If you do one thing in Bath this week... Go and see Dry The River in Komedia on the 31st October. Their debut album ‘Shallow Bed’ is absolutely fabulous with stunning vocal harmonies, beautiful instrumentals and brave use of orchestral sounds with a confidence that you’d expect from a much older band. bite met them over the summer (check online for an interview) and they are amazing guys whose live show lives up to the stunning calibre of the album. Do it, go now; run! For full listings see The Guide, Page 15 and every other Monday on 1449amURB
Best quotes from our head “You see a mouse trap I see free cheese and a fucking challenge” - Scroobius Pip “Had my heart broken by this woman named Tammy, But hoes gon’ be hoes so I couldn’t blame Tammy” - Lil Wayne “Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?”- George Dubya Bush
Need some tips on love? bite has you covered. Our always hilarious lifestlye section has the double page spread to itself. Check out the brand new lonely hearts column to find the love of your life and then most likely laugh at them. We also have a First Date guide so that when you meet said love of life you can sweep them off their feet with your charm. Our sex collumnist returns with a fabulous article concerning love and lust, while the Agony Aunts do their usual thing and solve all your romantic problems.
Melting Brain
A
nyone who actually reads these editorials (hi to my housemates, my therapist, Laurence, Matt and Fletch) probably assumes that I’m quite an angry man. You’re not really wrong, but there are one or two more layers there (I’m like an onion, or a parfait, everybody likes parfait… okay I’m an onion) and what with some of the dark stuff like slut dropping that we’ve had in bathimpact of late, I feel it’s time for bite to bring some romance back to the world. The world should be more romantic. Little coffee shops, vintage stores (Sophia Guilfoyle has provided an excellent vintage tour of Bath with Fashion on page 14) vinyl, pretty girls reading books on trains and handwritten letters - that shit can make a normal day into something a little more bearable (see Holly Narey’s lovely article for a better idea of this on page 4). I like to think that this idea of romance is still a thing. Surely everyone’s been having a shit day and sat in a train station figuring out where they could get to with a student loan and a few hours head start. Things like wondering how long you could last with your savings to pay for hostels and an acoustic guitar to play for your food. Even little things like sitting in a coffee shop for hours with a book or leafing through every box in a record store because one day you’ll find The Clash for about £10. Then there’s the staying up late talking bullshit for the
sake of talking bullshit to a certain person kind of romance (explored further in the lovely words of Ben Hooper on the page opposite and Gemma Isherwood on page 11). Again; I’m quite the bitter bastard, but even I still love the idea that the pretty girl on the train will be reading the same book as you and you’ll end up chatting over a coffee and for a few hours the world won’t seem like the torrent of shit that it usually is. Anyone else ever see someone in a queue for something you like and wondered what the person in front of you is like? No matter how many times you tell yourself that you’re done with it for a while, that we’re too young to be tied down and you’re just going to stick to the basic animal urges, we all still end up getting involved when it seems like a ridiculous idea to all those around you. Things like film (check out page 6 for Scarlett Clark’s review of Josh Radnor’s film, Liberal Arts, and Ron Morrow discussing how to make horror movies horny) and music (for a debate on romantic music see Robert Page and Alex Philpotts articles on page 7, along with bite’s best songs to woo with and Rowan Emslie’s Modern Times feature on page 4) should make you want to lie on the floor staring at the ceiling for a few hours thinking about silly things like how smiles look or what hair smells like. Poetry should always be relevant (for a fantastic example of why this is the case read Nathan Hill’s article on page 10), no matter how old it is, how new it is or whether or not your opinion of it was crucified during secondary school English lessons. It’s one of those things that everyone is exposed to all the time in music, film and literature and half the time you don’t recognise it - which is a shame, as good poetry is fucking awesome. Obviously there’s room for the fun shit around this; I mean
what’s worse than the douchebags who always talk about their relationships and end up as one formless, androgynous blob of a couple? As such, our lifestyle section has taken centre stage (page 8 and 9 for people who don’t like maths) with sex, agony aunts, lonely hearts and first date top tips. Along with this we’ve got tips on how to cook a romantic meal (page 12) for your beau or belle to be. For those us who aren’t so lucky we’ve included a Forever Alone column and how to make super noodles for one seem less like torture. Then there’s the usual stuff like puzzles and horoscopes (page 15), and mintyfresh and the guide (page 15). It’s basically an orgy of awesome content that hopefully makes your life a little bit less horrific. Anyways, this all could have been said with a few lines so I’ll give them to you and leave. “Life is about love, last minutes and lost evenings, about fire in our bellies and furtive little feelings. The aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering, to help us with remembering that the only thing that’s left to do is live”. Long live Frank Turner. To get involved in bite head over to our facebook group at www.facebook.com/bathimpactbite Or email me at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk
Blog of the week: http://boniverotica.tumblr.com/ Those of you with good taste will be aware of Bon Iver, who has released by far two of the best albums of recent years with his brand of folk that combines wonderful lyrics, haunting melodies and unique falsetto. This blog is written from the point of view of Bon Iver’s lover as they spend their life alone in the wilderness. It’s absolutely hilarious.
Things to... Watch: Black Mirror, it’s probably the best thing that’s been on TV over the last year or so and Charlie Brooker is God. Read: Terry Pratchett’s Discworld. It’s hilarious, it’s relevant and it’s wonderfully written. Don’t be put off by just thinking “eurgh, sci-fi/fantasy.” Listen To: Bon Iver. Just because the blog above is funny doesn’t mean the music isn’t sensational.
I made a funny, it’s a Matrix! Anyone..? Poetry Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. “ ‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door; Only this, and nothing more.” Edgar Allen Poe was badass; go learn about him on page 10.
New Release:
It’s a new Bond, what else would you see?
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite www.bathimpact.com
Shooting Hoops
3
written by Ben Charles Hooper
Most people would probably do well to pick up a dictionary and brush up on its contents. On a side note - how cool is this photo?
I
first read The Game in 2006 when I was just a 13 year old girl, living with my parents in our Malibu beach-house, working hard scoring crack and selling it on to kids to for extra money for my post grunge pre pop-punk garage band ‘Molestation of Cheerleaders’. Of course, this is all a bit far-fetched; much like this book. I will confess now, that The Game did change my life a little (and I don’t discredit it now) it’s most certainly an interesting read, though it wouldn’t be top of my ‘to read’ list. At the time I was working at Cheltenham and Gloucester mortgage application centre in Leamington Spa, and for a time I tried my hand at the game - coming out with the same conclusions as Strauss but with far less luck and fewer rock and roll stories. In 2005 Neal Strauss, critically acclaimed novelist and journalist wrote a book called ‘The Game’ which as Strauss claims re-tells a true story about his life in the world of Pick-Up Artists (PUAs), AKA professional womanisers. As you can imagine, this book is far from romantic; Strauss sets out to investigate this underworld and ends up leaving it behind forever, though not before becoming top of ‘the game’ as one of the most revered men on the Hollywood and world scene, working under the pseudonym ‘Style’. It’s an interesting roller-coaster of a read in which you ride along with Strauss, as he claims to have been shaped from “a formless lump of nerd” into a “superstar” - though looking at his journalistic history it’s hard to believe that he was really all that nerdy having written as a ghostwriter for Jenna Jameson, as well as many high profile celebs for Rolling Stone and most importantly having written three rock star stories including the biography of legendary rock band, the debauched Motley Crue. The tale includes many interesting ‘characters’ and events and includes many different styles of seducing women, from the basic set of moves that
many probably make without knowing it, to a more calculated approach involving hypnosis. (Spoiler alert) Though the book objectifies women, it comes to the right conclusion in the end; the world of PUAs is nothing but a subculture of neurotic playboys with as much ability for forming stable relationships as a toaster (would anybody like any toast?). Strauss found true love and escaped the fabricated social construct. This article is both looking at The Game and romance itself; they are only connected, really, as different ends of the spectrum. The very idea of romance conjures up many different thoughts in contemporary Britain; what exactly does it represent? What is it in aid of? In the dampness of first love’s morning dew (AKA the third date) it can be just an attempt at getting worm in soil. I’ve experienced this phenomenon - going the extra mile just to get a blow job (lord knows Wetherspoons really hike up their prices on Mothering Sunday). Is it something lovers present to one another as a means of preventing them from straying from one another? An assurance of love, as if taking it in turns making cups of tea isn’t enough? Is it about showing off? Or conforming to the pressures of society and its peers? It seems to me these gestures work, and no one wants to be guy who doesn’t buy his sweetheart a wilted rose for 5 Euros from an Albanian at the Trevi Fountain. Hard though it may be for such a bottomless pit of bitterness to say - romance isn’t dead, and many of us are romantic for the most basic and human reasons. To love and to be loved. In all sorts of weird and wonderful ways, some keep it simple with a box of chocolates and some flowers, whilst others go to the extremes of writing poetry or leaving elaborate treasure hunts or secret messages in wait for their partners. But we all know it’s not how we do it that’s so important, but ‘why’ - and it seems to
me that often the old faithful, simple personal pronoun - verb personal pronoun (I love you) just doesn’t help us express our deep seated (burning, passionate... insert a more lovey adjective) love for one another, so the only way to display our feelings is to manifest them physically. The typical things you think of when presented with the word romance are: love, valentine’s day, flowers, candlelit dinners, walks by the river, stunningly inventive modes of marriage proposal (and so on) - but it’s the lesser noticed, everyday romantic gestures which really make the difference and seem to carry relationships on to the finish line (the nursing home). It’s about stuff like leaving a hot water bottle in bed for your wife as you go off to work for the day and she comes home from her night shift, or things lime about knowing your boyfriend wants to wear his favourite shirt on a night out and removing the mayonnaise stains for him after he has so tenderly forgotten to do so the night before as he drunkenly ate a jar of mayonnaise. Here are some tips for those who really can’t think of what to do to set a romantic mood: 1. dimmed or flickering lights to create the sense that light is fleeting and perhaps there is an approaching comet. 2. An arrangement or single specimen of various colourful flora – to decrease the surplus population of flowers (that really gets ‘em going). 3. Small shiny stones or pieces of metal to decorate the body (no explanation). As a final thought, back in the days before electricity what sort of lighting was appropriate for a romantic dinner? Or did candles still do it for people before it became a novelty? I wonder if they ate in the dark just for kicks...Don’t buy the roses - buy the Albanian (because slavery is caring).
4
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite www.bathimpact.com
M
odern Notes: The Horror written by Rowan Emslie
ost of you probably wouldn’t consider Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 film adaptation of Stephen King’s novel The Shining a romantic movie; the blood, the violence, alcoholism and general horror vibe are, I think, misleading. It begins with a married couple trying to keep their relationship together. Sure, this isn’t a saccharine true-love-blossoming sort of romance - but why shouldn’t trickier, more adult relationship based storylines be considered romantic? The first bit is always easier anyway; we shouldn’t be so fixated on it. What actually makes the film so scary is the earthiness of its basic components - a husband, a wife and a child. All are fairly complex and recognisably human because of that. The place that they find themselves in, the deliciously evil ‘Overlook Hotel’, overlays a supernatural force onto their very ordinary lives. The resulting madness, the breakdown of communication between family members, the blurring of the lines between reality and fantasy – those things are infinitely more terrifying than some obviously unreal masked slasher. They are changed, corrupted by an unknown force that they are unable to resist, not simply murdered by an eccentric stranger. Eventually the weakest of them is consumed by the hotel, sublimated by a seemingly unstoppable, external power. What could be more frightening than that? The score of Kubrick’s masterpiece is stunning. He takes some incredible avant-garde Classical composers and brings them together. In fact, the roster of names is made up of such luminaries certain aficionados might get misty-eyed just thinking about it. There’s the Hungarian Béla Bartók, a pioneer who travelled extensively around Eastern Europe in the first few decades of the 20th century seeking to record traditional folk songs so he could preserve and integrate them into his own compositions. Bartók’s pursuit of traditional music that was dying out in the face of modernisation and, later, in the face of the onslaught of Soviet Communism was a thoroughly romantic pursuit – he, almost alone, raged against the dying light to preserve a simpler, pastoralized time threatened with extinction. His work reflects the tension of that ambition – he transposes tradition with the modern in an attempt to integrate the two. It is probably a reflection of that tension that his pieces are seen as frightening or unnerving, and perfect for the score of a horror film. Krystof Penderecki also sits proudly on numerous horror movie soundtracks, notably with Polymorphia which appears in both The Shining and the era-defining 1973 demon possession epic The Exorcist. Penderecki was Polish and also influenced by the Eastern European folkmusic tradition; his ambitions were more specifically modernist, but his music reflects the tension of Bartók’s. On the surface there is an excruciating blend of dissonant strings and brass – it is the sort of classical music that meets so much resistance from traditionalist listeners of more famous Romantic era composers like Beethoven. At first it can be off-putting, but if you persevere you begin to pick out the underlying musical landscape. Beneath the extravagances there is a calm, sedate and comforting progression, often played at a slower tempo. Occasionally, the listener is given this grounding on its own and allowed to relax for a minute or so before the screeching and the groaning comes crashing back
Think it’s not romantic? You’re clearly not trying hard enough in. Here, again, is that juxtaposition of order and disorder. It is almost impossible to follow the calm sections alone; your ear is dragged kicking and screaming to the top level madness as though he was desperate to remind his audience of their relative powerlessness. It is just about as frightening as music can be. Ultimately, chaos will always take a hold of romance. There will be surprises and difficult moments in life generally, as everyone knows; there’s absolutely no reason to expect your love life to be any different. This isn’t intended to upset you. Anyone who sees their idealised plans go awry and feels defeated is likely to struggle, and challenges can result in a multitude of different outcomes. What The Shining depicts is the descent of a man who fails to overcome his challenges; it is a perhaps little known fact that Stephen King was struggling with alcoholism when he wrote the novel (he eventually became sober). In the light of that information, it reads much more clearly as a parable of fear – what if I can’t overcome my ‘demons’, real or imagined? It is a fear most people will have to face. It is also something that is almost certainly made easier with love and support from people close to you. What could be more romantic than that?
Playing The Virtual Field written by Ron Morrow
rago
arma
do S Ricar
“Maybe a nice song will make her notice her” - poor deluded Link
V
ideo games have always been at odds with how to deal with sex and relationships. For instance, I don’t think anyone in the Mushroom Kingdom has ever gotten laid. Sure Mario saves the Princess every other week, but I’m convinced the only reason they all play so much tennis, golf and drive go-karts is to save on the insane bill their cumulative cold showers would clock up. Admittedly, looking at a game like Mario this in depth doesn’t affect how enjoyable it is to play, but the old games’ attitudes towards such things paved the way for things to come. But does romance even belong in video games, or is its integration a wasted effort? Video games started life with no interest in romance. You saved worlds, beat up bad guys and shot the crap out of anything that moved on screen; and on the rare occasion there was a woman involved, she was most certainly damsel fodder. Eventually we did get women as protagonists too (here’s looking at you Samus Aran), but there was no difference between them and the men. They were simply yet another means to an end of shooting things in the face. Then came the RPGs with their extensive back stories. We gained a front row seat to character interactions that we played no part in, but just watched two NPCs faun over each other through lines of dialogue. Skip ahead to recent years though, and while the technology has matured we still seem to be same immature children drawing moustaches on sperm in the biology text books. I don’t know a single person who managed to play through one of Bioware’s choice-based games who partook in sexual conquests and managed to take it seriously. On multiple occasions I’ve found myself playing the Fable series and got far too distracted hiring as many prostitutes as possible, simply to jump through achievement hoops and laugh at the ensuing coitus shenanigans. As it stands right now though, the occasional game does slip through that takes romance seriously. Unfortunately these tend to either be a wit weird (as in the case of Catherine) or just a full-on dating sim that doesn’t exactly help shed gamer stereotypes. So right now we’ve got two types of game: a serious game with optional romance sections (where the romance isn’t taken seriously) or a game that isn’t taken seriously that focuses on romance. Not exactly a great trade off. To me, love is something video games suck at; they always have and for the foreseeable future will continue to do so. Until the AI is passing the Turing test and responding in kind to your cheesy pick-up lines then we’re going nowhere. Video games can capture a wide variety of emotions very effectively, but I doubt ‘love’ will be counted among them in our lifetime.
6
Monday 22nd October 2012
Review: Liberal Arts
bite
www.bathimpact.com
written by Scarlett Clark
W
ith great anticipation, I awaited the release of the indie campus comedy and charming rom-com “Liberal Arts”. In conjunction with The Little Theatre, Komedia provided a perfect setting to host the intimate seductive drama of youth and age, innocence and experience. Jesse Fisher (Josh Radnor), a newly single 35 year old who specialised in the romantics at University, has stayed near to his scholarly flame which has left him stuck in a dull job interviewing potential students. An invitation from an old college professor to attend a farewell dinner gives Jesse the opportunity to follow through a sentimental journey back to his old campus. His desire to be youthful is played out hilariously as he enthusiastically jumping on benches and sighs at the sight of intellectuals reading. He soon meets the chief catalyst of the movie; drama sophomore Zibby. “Liberal Arts” is potentially complex and risky in terms of the ideas and emotions, as for certain onlookers this relationship could have been interpreted as slightly ‘tarty’. However, Radnor efficiently colours in the lines involving the effortless secondary performances from eccentric individual ‘Nat’ (Zac Efron) and distressed student ‘Dean’ (Jon Magaro). Radnor also sticks to a traditional but well executed romantic vision; for example scenes depicting Jesse wandering around NY listening to classical music and character interaction via classical mix-tapes and hand written letters “with like a pen or something”. Beautiful sequences involve teaching, in which both protagonists’ eyes are opened about the way art can transport and transform us. Zibby makes Jesse view NY in a different light whilst he introduces her to the works of Blake and Wordsworth, proving that each character has something to give to the other. The sharp and funny topic as to why older people are attractive to the young is questioned effectively; many other such natured films have us believing that it is the disillusion and unavailability which become dangerously alchemised into sexiness. Yet, this is a thoughtful and engagingly acted romance, and with the help of the skilful leading performance from Elizabeth Olsen I am sure many departed the theatre with a sense of freshness and new attitude toward large age-gap couples. On a side note, The Little Theatre cinema is the oldest remaining cinema in Bath and is the perfect place to watch a film like this. The small setting definitely adds to the emotion and romance of the films, as it allows the audience to feel involved. For freshers, the membership is free (normally £20) and includes 3 free tickets with other tickets being just £5. Then there’s the remarkably special E4 student nights to see a blockbuster hit, usually before its release and 10 per cent off food and drink which enables you to munch away happily without worrying about the student loan. Support indie cinema; you know you want to.
H
Horror Movies Can Be Sexy written by Ron Morrow
HyperXP.com
alloween isn’t classically known as the most romantic time of the year, but I’m here to tell you otherwise. October, unsurprisingly, houses a whole flurry of horror film releases, and within some of these gems are invaluable lessons on how to spice up your love life. Follow our 6 step guide inspired by some by some of the classics, and you and your partner will be back expressing sweet nothings betwixt panted breaths in no time. Step 1 – Take a trip somewhere secluded (Friday 13th) There’s nothing quite like getting out into the wilderness when it comes to getting into the mood for a fresh start. It’s always best to aim for somewhere off the beaten track with minimal lines-of-sight and zero phone signal. A lake is preferable as it at least gives reason to the inevitable point at which everyone gets topless. Don’t worry if you go as part of a group; it’s easy enough to sneak off to go hook up - your friends should realise what you’re up to anyway and won’t come looking for you for hours. Step 2 – Be risqué, have a threesome (Human Centipede) Everyone likes to spice things up in the bedroom when they’re away on a trip; you’re out in the middle of nowhere anyway, so nobody at home ever even has to find out. Unsure who to ask to join you? If possible find someone foreign; they’re exotic and whatnot, and bonus points if they don’t speak your language. Once you’re together, the three of you will be literally inseparable for days on end and you’ll never have felt closer to anyone else in the world. Step 3 – Play a game (Saw 1 to infinity) We all like to play a good board game (well, I do anyway) and nothing brings people together like shared experiences. Even if you’re short on a deck of cards, you can always play strip Scrabble, strip Monopoly or even strip Mario Kart if you’re so inclined. Of course, people always end up cheating at these things so feel free to use that as an excuse to ‘punish’ them later. Step 4 – Break all the rules (Cabin in the Woods) Go crazy; do what you want. The trip’s almost over anyway so you might as well get your heart pounding again one last time. You know there are rules, but screw it; throw the rule book out the window. Go where that creepy man said not to, play football with that dust covered “sacred artefact”, read Latin from that leather bound book you found beneath the floor boards; why not, it’s not like that stuff ever has consequences, right? Step 5 – Have a pint and wait for all this to blow over (Shaun of the Dead) You’re back home now and as much as you loved being away, you can’t help but to have
It’s surprising how many romances start over Halloween... well, kind of missed your friends. Of course, the partner wants to keep alive that spark you re-kindled on your trip - but it’ll eventually pass and things will go back to normal. In the meantime, get down the pub and tell your mates how awesome (or creepy) your threesome was. Step 6 – Settle back into the old routine (Frankenstein et al) You’ve seen and done it all before, but who cares when familiarity feels this good? This may well be the 5th time this week you’ve stayed in and done the same old thing, but each time it’s slightly different and every time it’s enjoyable. Some things become a classic for a reason. *taken from Ron’s blog - www.thenorthernnerd.wordpress.com
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite
7
www.bathimpact.com
Romantic Music Should Be... Alternative
Classical
written by Robert Page
Luciano Martins
Scannerfm
written by Alex Philpotts
I
’ll warn you up front; this article is trespassing on a minefield of soppy romantic clichés but I won’t apologise for it. Romance itself has, after decades of pop culture, become a rosyeyed chocolatey mess of clichés; to the extent that the epic romances of yesteryear have fallen under the big pink umbrella of cheese and guilty pleasures. Now, when you’re seducing your childhood sweetheart from below her open window (don’t pretend you’ve never done it), you can either break into a classic (see The Beatles’ ‘Something’) or you can belt out some James Blunt and wait for someone to throw a brick at you. It’s painful to say, but there is little love for romance left in the modern music industry. Bar Adele (whose boyfriend-burning crusade against the male sex hardly constitutes a soaring romance) there’s rarely been an operatic solo to tug at our heartstrings cruising the radio in years. In its place – the rise of the vapid sex-driven disco rock gnaws at the airwaves. The slow song at the end of a cheesy dance is the sole reserve of teenage roller discos and school proms, whereas the over-18s grind strangers to the lumpy vocals of Flo Rida and Sean Paul serenading the quick shag in a back alley. I did warn you about the soppy romantics. I’ll make no illusions to you; it’s probably a more accurate portrayal of our culture, but that’s really not what music should be about. Great music isn’t made about the shit we get up to everyday; it’s about the really crazy shit we wish we could get up to everyday. Take Simon And Garfunkel’s classic ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’. It’s not the most complex song you’ll ever hear, but it quietly and clearly puts voice to the desperate ramblings of the romantic soul. The fact that we brand such hopelessly infatuated emotions as cheese is a genuine tragedy, because without music there’s no real way we can say any of it. To put it bluntly, sex is cooler. Etta James once sang a wee little song called ‘At Last’. It was released 51 years ago, and today remains one of the single outstanding examples of an epic romance in song. What’s remarkable about that, however, is that it was written twenty years prior to her recording - but hers is the version we know because the performance in itself contained majesty to match the song. ‘At Last’, much like the pseudo-legendary melodies of Barry White and his ilk, is performed with all the strain of emotion of the song itself. It’s a sad truth, but that honest side of music has drained away from the charts, and I for one rather miss it.
M
y bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite - Romeo & Juliet
Try quoting that to a potential partner and you’re more likely to get decked than make him/her fall head over heels for you. Romance as we knew it is dead, so why are the same old ‘romantic’ records constantly get re-cycled and rammed down our throats? No one has ‘bleeding love’, and if I hear one more person murder ‘I Will Always Love You’ I refuse not be held responsible for my actions. These are the songs that encourage tweens to post supposedly deep and meaningful facebook statuses. It must be stopped. Thankfully, there are songs out there that celebrate what romance is actually like in the real world. I’m putting it out there that Arctic Monkeys’ ‘I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’ is one of the greatest love songs of our generation. What is more romantic than complementing a girl on the way she looks in a club? All the women I know spend approximately 75 per cent of any given evening getting ready so I can only conclude that their appearance on said dancefloor is the most important thing. In all seriousness, lyrics such as “oh there ain’t no love no, Montagues or Capulets, we just banging tunes ‘n’ DJ sets ‘n’, dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness!” is much more relevant to life today than any of the crap in ‘Flying Without Wings’. Of course, the less subtle among you may favor tracks such as ‘Fuck Her Gently’ by Tenacious D; the title of the song pretty much sums it up so there’s really no need to go into great depth - but again, deep down, I’m sure we can relate to this song more than most of the songs that come on those free CDs in newspapers on Valentines Day. It is frankly a ridiculous song, which says a lot about most of the songs we traditionally consider to be ‘romantic’ Romance is alive, just not as those that decide what music we should all like would have us believe. Remember that when next selecting which song you’re going to use to serenade you’re latest squeeze from their balcony, and it might just improve your chances. Or, it might just make a hilarious YouTube viral. Either way - you win.
Learn These, Get Laid
First Day Of My Life. The best sweet and simple love song ever. Fact. “This is the first day of my life, swear I was blind before I met you, I went out in the rain suddlenly everything changed it felt, as if you’d just woke up.”
Towers. Just listen to it. “For the love I’d fallen on in the swampy August dawn, what a mischief you would bring, young darling. When the onus is not all your own, when you’re up for it before you’ve grown.”
Mae. Slow, soulful and absolutely beautiful. “Stay the same don’t ever change, because I’d miss your ways. With your Betty Davies Eyes, and your Momma’s party dress.”
Accidentally In Love. So cheesy, so danc-y; just complete infatuation. “How much longer will it take to cure this, Just to cure it cause I can’t ignore it if it’s love, Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don’t know nothing ‘bout love,
Dammit. The perfect break up song. “The steps that I retrace the sad look on your face, The timing and structure, did you hear he fucked her? A day late a buck short I’m writing a report On losing and failing when I move I’m flailing now.
9
Day 22th October 2012
bite
Lust, Love
Lonely Hearts
alice ling
written by
Down it fresher Male Freshers Crew seeks young female fresher for fun and a good old faff. Meet at your place... Definitely your place. Me + you = sex squared Male Mathematics student seeks girl with curves he can differentiate and lie tangent to. If X = Derhill and Y = Cotswold, find me at Z Ticket to the sausage fest? Male mech eng student seeks female mech eng student...must be willing to submit to gender testing for certainty. Where do girls hang out? What do they look like again?
The bite Guide to
I should know better Blonde female Sociology student seeks male arrogant sports science student with interests in rugby, shooting and ‘banter’. Must be on a sports team and own a Jack Wills gilet. Meet whenever shame and alcohol collide Punishing my Daddy Woodland Court Lady seeks Eastwood chap for what I believe they call “a bit of rough”. Must own a tracksuit and partake in the consumption of Special Brew. ASBO desirable At Greggs, that’s what you people like isn’t it? Please, somebody fuck me Desperate second year female seeking Mr Floppy.. Meet me in The Tub bathroom at Fuzzy Ducks We’re smart, init Bath Spa student seeks Coach Ed student for intellectual conversation. Meet at like, at a library or something, where the books is at Pedigree breeding Woodland Court resident looking for baroness or similar for midday croquet tournaments. Must own horse-drawn carriage and valid shooting licence. . Definitely not a horror film German biology student seeks 3 younger partners with an interest in sewing, human anatomy and arthropods. A creepy looking cabin in the woods, it’s totally safe
H
ere’s the situation; you’re at a classy formal gathering (… XL) and everybody else is perfectly paired off and making moon eyes at each other. You’re not even the third or fifth wheel because you’re the eleventh. Those two pigeons pecking at shit on the ground over there? Even they’re a couple, stupid skyrats and their winged love making. Well, fear not; bite is here to help with five tips for being the 11th wheel without screaming at people. Tip 1: Take a book with you everywhere. If you have a book, you have a distraction. It seems weird, but it’s either read or sit there slowly scratching angry words into the surface of the table, which might scare everyone (although if you get really bored…). The book gives you something to do, and in a pinch you can wipe your tears of Forever Alone-ness on the pages. It’s either that, or talk to yourself. Speaking of – Tip 2: Hang out by yourself. Let’s be honest; you’re probably pretty good at this already - we’re sure that whiskey bottle emptied itself over a number of nights. It’s okay, we believe you. Let us just gently pat you on your head for a while, put on a nice record and see how creative we can be with swear words. Write something, read nice books, take up an instrument; do anything but just sit and mope. Tip 3: Pit them against each other Tad evil, but can be good fun. There’s always going to be a bit of animosity and tension in a group, and if you can sniff it out you can use it - and with a few comments have them at each other’s throats. Maybe that’s too far, but being a puppet master to less intelligent people makes the time fly. Tip 4: Get absolutely shitfaced. Obviously there’s a limit, but everything’s better when you’re wearing beer goggles or rose tinted spectacles. You’ll find everything hilarious, it’ll make everyone just that little bit uncomfortable. You never know, some Dutch Courage could fix your Forever Alone-ness.
The bite Guide to
It’s not creepy, definitely not creepy Tall, distinguished lecturer of medium age seeks open-minded younger woman who enjoys spanking and humiliating a man in leather. It’s a’ me! Italian plumber seeks pink princess. Must enjoy large moustache’s and ‘shrooms. Meet me on level 2, just after the big castle Bitches love the privilege Male PM looking for elegant, well bred wench. Must be willing to wear Margaret Thatcher mask in bed and talk dirty about NHS cuts. Meet at Number 10, going down street Snoop Doggy Dog Where the white girls at? Seriously, where you at? Send in your adverts to us at bite and we will do your best to find you your ideal match here on campus.
written by
T
written by
here are many different kinds of first date, so I’ve decided to split it up into four areas and give some brief tips on how best to achieve your desired outcome. So absorb our knowledge, suit up and get out there and woo the masses with your newly acquired charm.
Purpose: Sex Wear something that stands out. Just as people like to feel special, they also like to be around special people. This can range from a funky shirt, an unusual necklace or (for extra bathimpact brownie points) the top hat and platform boots combo. The more outrageous then the better the subsequent conversation topics will be (and the funnier the story if it epicly fails). With aftershave/perfume, either go hard or go home. Make yourself a walking florists (60 per cent of the time, it works every time!) or allow your natural scent to guide you alone in the wild. If he/she isn’t too pungent herself then lick their neck to ‘spread your beautiful innate odours’ (note: this can end in disaster so use with caution, or at least be amazing at apologising/licking). Wear a thong (regardless of gender) or no pants at all: Everyone likes surprises. Purpose: Second date/relationship Wear whatever underwear and socks that you like. If you want a relationship then you don’t want them shown one the first night!
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite
9
and Romance Agony Aunts www.bathimpact.com
bite’s sex columnist
Sybren A. Stüvel’s
L
ove, lust and romance. What’s the difference? Love is the feeling and lust is the desire, but romance is the emotional foreplay to the sexual foreplay. Love and lust have evolved for humans to have different purposes; some believe lust has evolved for the purpose of sexual mating, enabling people to lust after many different people at once, whereas love has evolved for the purpose of infant bearing/bonding and therefore can theoretically only exist between a couple, as humans are born far too early to survive alone. Sexologist John Money differentiates the two as “love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd.” Both rewarding in their own way, both lust and the build-up to sexual acts are often more enticing and maybe even more rewarding than the act itself. In any case, we crave uncertainty, desire and that feeling that makes us want to rip off our clothes and cry out for more - making foreplay and maybe even a little bit of romance an extremely effective way to entice would-be partners into bed. Through lust one can gain love, so doesn’t that render lust a little underrated? As soon as two eyes meet across XL’s sticky, alcohol doused dance floor, that little guessing game causes excitement. Who knows where you’ll find your underwear hanging the next morning? Even when in a relationship, whether you’re in love or just experiencing lust, there’s nothing stopping you from introducing a little uncertainty in the bedroom - which can prove to go a long way; a blindfold here, a surprise sex toy there! In my opinion, love, lust and romance cross borders; having a mixture of all three can create wonderful stomach fluttering experiences.
Spare Wheeling
Dear Lucy and Edie,
Caleb Wheeler-Robinson
bite’s forever alone columnist
Tip 5: Be so incredibly, fabulously interesting that you become the center of everybody else’s universe. …bite actually doesn’t know how to help you with this as mostly we just sit in our writing cave wondering how socialising works. But by all means, if you work this one out, feel free to tell us (oh God please tell us. We’ll pay you!).
First Date Success Daniel Eagles
Talk about him/her, ask questions, make yourself secondary to an extent. Of course, portray yourself in a positive, confident, ambitious and responsible way when called upon, but if you are not mentioning shoes and gossip girl (guys) or something loud and fast (girls) at least a dozen times then I would seriously start to doubt if your heart is really in this. Purpose: Unknown/Fun/Dating Experimentation Try bringing a rose and wearing a tuxedo to your date, but only if it is somewhere really cheap and you are there for breakfast… it’s no fun if not. Maintain that you saved a group of orphans from a bear when you were volunteering in a remote place on your gap yah. Purpose: Strictly wingman Pick a foreign language, tell your dates that your friend speaks it fluently and how jealous you are of him by making up words and accents the entire time until their date is smothering his multi-lingual lips with theirs. Wear exactly the same clothes as your friend but a size too large or small for yours to fit properly. It will make them look athletic and fashionable. Dress up completely like Top Gun and don’t acknowledge that this is odd.
I hooked up with some guy during Fresher’s Week. It was fine, nothing special… I was only interested in his fresh B.O. and flower garland at the beach party. However, he seems slightly keener than me (I was only wearing my favourite thong bikini, which may have had some influence). Now, he won’t leave me alone. If it’s not an hourly Facebook message asking what I’m up to (accompanied by a weird kissing penguin emoticon), it’s his face round every corner or the familiar squelch of his flip flops walking behind me. I don’t want to be mean as he seems like a nice guy, but I was only interested in his love pump - which wasn’t overly impressive after the tequila goggles came off. Help! Becks We’ve all made that mistake before, Becks – for us it was the braces and the school tie that led to our demise during Fresher’s Week, along with the copious amounts of Cherry Lambrini (classy girls, we know). Here is our fool-proof plan for how to lose a guy in 10 hours: 1. Stop shaving – including facial hair. In fact, if you can, feel free to grow more. Nothing says ‘Stay away from me’ like Hagrid’s morning face. 2. Leave your bikini thongs at home. Instead, wear as many clothes as possible, including: high-waisted trousers with flares that cover your shoes, excessive neck adornments (i.e. scarves, necklaces and reptiles) and your favourite Christmas jumper knitted by Nana. Or, if all else fails, cover yourself in glue and get your flatmates to chuck you into a pile of their cast-offs. 3. Start eating. And don’t stop. Ever. McDonalds, KFC, any pizza from Iceland and lots and lots of garlic. He will be so repulsed by the sight of you, and the smell, that he will leave you well alone. 4. Tell him you love him. We hope these work for you, they’ve certainly proved very effective for us. Although it t have been the fact it never actually happened to us. We made it up. We made it Dear Lucy and Edie, I really like a girl that I met in Freshers’. How do I get her? Ed Wooing ladies is a fine art Ed, so pay attention. Naked or covered in baby oil (or if you’re rich, Nutella) - we’ll give you creative license there to make your own decision. Then run after her shouting ‘I want to bone you’ whilst doing the helicopter dick. Works. Every. Time. Bitches love the helicopter dick.
Dear Lucy and Edie, I met someone I think is really hot but I’m too nervous to talk to them. Do you have any good chat-up lines I could use so that I feel more comfortable conversing with them? Thanks, Chris You’ve done the right thing by coming to us, Chris. One of my favourite chat-up lines that a guy used on me was ‘oh, god, please just have sex with me, just once? It’ll really, really make my evening’. It’s pathetic enough to have a 90 per cent success rate. Definitely don’t expect cuddles afterwards.
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite
10
Poetry, You Philistines
www.bathimpact.com
Caleb Wheeler-Robsinson
written by Nathan Hill
T
his month saw the wonders of National Poetry Day, and whilst I realise that such an opening statement certainly caused many of you to explode in showers of steaming vomit, I would urge you to read on – not least because there is a perfectly serviceable pack of bacon waiting for me in the fridge, which my famished stomach shall have to forego whilst I instead write this article. You’re more important to me than bacon – that, surely, is the very definition of a romantic gesture. How fitting for this issue’s theme. Bacon aside, when one thinks of romance, it is almost impossible not to think immediately of poetry. The two have been linked since ancient times – with Roman poets such as Catullus and Ovid, and Greek poets such as Sappho being a few of the most famous writers of ancient love poetry - so much so that they’re still widely read today. If you ask one of my friends (either will do), they will tell you that I love traditional poetry. When it comes to modern poetry, however, I lose interest. This isn’t because there’s anything intrinsically wrong with the idea of modern poetry, but the execution of modern free verse is almost universally pitiful. Stephen Fry even describes it as ‘utter wank’ and ‘arse-dribble’, which is awfully generous of him. It can often be hard to separate the avant-garde
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm’d; But thy eternal summer shall not fade Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee
Shakespeare, Sonnet 18
world to find out.
She walks in beauty, like the night Of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that ‘s best of dark and bright Meet in her aspect and her eyes: Thus mellow’d to that tender light Which heaven to gaudy day denies. One shade the more, one ray the less, Had half impair’d the nameless grace Which waves in every raven tress, Or softly lightens o’er her face; Where thoughts serenely sweet express How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
Bukowski
Lord Byron - She Walks In Beauty
I want to be the one you want in your mind and your gut and your bathroom. But I don’t want you to fuck the whole
from the woeful, and modern poetry is where this has got out of control. Free verse – poetry without a uniform rhythm – is equivalent to saying to two tennis players ‘just forget about the tramlines’. What will ensue will be either a magnificent game or a sloppy and tedious one. But in 99 per cent of cases it will be the latter. Sometimes we just need rules – it’s much easier to decorate a house if you know how big the rooms are before you begin. This modern anaemia in poetry may be a reason for the recent perception that poetry is boring and stale, but this has not always been the case. Lord Byron, writing in a prudish 19th-century
Had we but world enough, and time, This coyness, lady, were no crime. We would sit down and think which way To walk, and pass our long love’s day; Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide Of Humber would complain. I would Love you ten years before the Flood; And you should, if you please, refuse Till the conversion of the Jews. My vegetable love should grow Vaster than empires, and more slow. Andrew Marvell - To His Coy Mistress
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes Of the beautiful Annabel Lee; And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride, In the sepulchre there by the sea, In her tomb by the sounding sea. Edgar Allen Poe - Annabel Lee
My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips’ red; If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damask’d, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground: And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. Shakespeare - Sonnet 130
England, was extremely widely read and was receiving hundreds of items of lewd fan mail at the peak of his fame. He was seen by the public as a scandalous and passionate figure – his time’s Russell Brand, if you will (without the verbal diarrhoea). Now one has to question whether Seamus Heaney also receives lewd fan mail (except perhaps from potato fetishists). Far from the sexy, notorious reputation that poets used to have, today’s poets would make a pensioners’ game of whist look riotous. Dotted around the page are extracts from some of the finest romantic poetry I can think of - and I can only ask you, exhort you even, to read them. For perhaps the two most famous love poems ever, try Sonnet 18 or Sonnet 130 by Shakespeare – the second being a satirical, yet still romantic attack on the tone of the first. Then my favourite love poem of all time – To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell. Read it and see why. Edgar Allan Poe is an unlikely candidate, but he did write love poetry in his time – try Annabel Lee for one of his very best examples. Last but not least, read She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron for a romantic poem by a masterful poet at his best. These, as with all poems, are best read aloud - but that may not always be socially prudent...but do read them! Forget about the modern, regurgitated alphabetti spaghetti you were forced to read at GCSE and see what poetry can be!
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite
11
Placement Blog: Romance Abroad www.bathimpact.com
h, romance. Elusive at the best of times, but nonetheless something most people spend a lot of time looking for. I don’t wish to sound like a hopeless romantic (and I can assure you I am not) but I do think romance has more of a place in society now than ever before. Long gone are the days of Mr Darcy and Miss Bennett; we’re lucky nowadays if we can find someone with enough time on their hands to grab a coffee, let alone spend months courting, wooing and sitting in high-ceilinged rooms drinking tea and making small talk with distanced parents. There’s far too much texting and facebooking and tweeting to be done; too many emails to read and too much shopping and cleaning and watching the TV to be getting on with. No time for this ‘romance’ business. All of this makes it quite nice when you realise you do have the time. As a student on campus it was very easy for me to get caught up in social networking and hanging out in the bar but, since my placement started, I’ve had a lot of time to focus on people. And not just people in the dullest sense of the word. I’ve had time to focus on friendships, cultivating and growing - which inevitably involves swapping numbers and adding on facebook and bumping into each other every now and then at work - and I’ve had time to really observe the field before making my play. It sounds strange, I know - surely dating and clubbing and clumsy fucks in foreign bedrooms is all about the spur of the moment? Shouldn’t ‘playing the field’ be just that - playing? Well, of course. But this is romance. This is early morning coffee when you can still see your breath. This is enjoying each other’s company while doing something almost painfully mundane like looking at the sky or waiting for a train. There’s plenty of that away from campus. There are long evenings and weekends, unclouded by essays and coursework, when you can call up that particular someone and go for a walk. Just holding hands and wandering around the Royal Botanic Gardens before finding yourself on sun-warmed concrete as the evening blossoms behind the Opera House. Drinking Moscato in an overpriced bar. Kissing in clammy heat, completely innocent, as you wait for the bus. Simple stuff, romance. And so easy. No distractions, nothing tying me down to any particular place or person. It’s interesting noticing what modern life is like: rushed, unappreciative. And it’s equally interesting when you elect to ignore it, turn your phone off and go and wander around in the short-lived twilight with another person. Being a living, breathing human rather than a profile or username or URL. As long as I turn up at work and check in at the house every now and then, I’m free to do as I please. So I can send a text and ten minutes later be en route to Newtown in a little black dress for
Alexandra Guerson
A
written by Gemma Isherwood
Things like waking up early for a coffee with them before lectures, why not? Thai food and holding hands. And the animalistic sex and swapping of too many bodily fluids to name? That can wait. Sometimes it’s about romance, not sex. Sometimes it’s not what that person needs and it’s not what you need from that person. And human needs aside; if you play the field properly who says you can’t have it all?
Words from Holly’s Brain
Follow Gemma in Australia at http://anenglishgirlinaus.tumblr.com/
brickred
written by Holly Narey
I
have heard from several moderately reliable sources (Paloma Faith, Brett Anderson, Jack Beats…) that romance is dead. The modern world in all of its callous coldness killed it. Hang up your locks of hair, put away your love letters and join the heartless revolution. Romance has always been shitty. There have always been broken hearts and douchebags and girls who feed on the attention of men who can never have them - it just seems that lately it’s been getting worse. Historically it seems it was all made more bearable with the abundance of powdered wigs, the odd horseback ride and trips out in rowboats with loose-shirted hunks, but all we seem to get are chavs and obesity. Romance is no longer romantic; being troubled and deep and living life with reckless disregard is now romantic (thanks a lot, Skins). Science is quantifying our hearts, trivialising butterflies in the stomach with words like “endorphins” and “blood flow”. Surveys tell us that we will get bored of the one we love in two years, six months and 25 days. Prince Charming can’t come out right now, he’s playing FIFA. Sleeping Beauty isn’t actually sleeping, she’s passed out from the half litre of vodka she drank. Ho hum.
The way that the past is currently portrayed doesn’t help the resentment we feel about the present; it’s lit nostalgically because the people who tell the stories are remembering it bathed in the golden light that the good times of our memories are lucky enough to have. Reality never looked that perfect; you never looked that young and your skin was never that good. There is something wonderful about the thought of a letter expressing devotion written on thick parchment in Indian ink, but why is it that an email saying “I miss you” means so much less? Because of the amount of time it took to create? Perhaps the old days of love weren’t quite how Hollywood would have us think. That man in the rowboat with his unbuttoned shirt? Yeah, he probably married the girl, but then he probably also got a mistress. They didn’t include that in the film, did they? And due to the relative lack of medical and hygiene know-how back then, he probably spread a touch of syphilis around. Even if they did remain faithful and relatively healthy, they would only have been able to revel in this love until the ripe old age of 40, which was the life expectancy in the UK in the early 1800s. Do you want to know the results of all those dramatic horse rides? Impotency. That’s what. There’s nothing more romantic than a bit of ED. Yes, the thought of a letter is pretty nice, but back then there would have been a much higher chance that you wouldn’t know how to read it, especially if your were a woman. Something that technology has done to damage romance is to give us more platforms across which we can be shitty. There are more ways to tell lies and more methods of networking to aid cheaters; we can now password-protect our infidelity. For each way that technology is hurting love, however, it is also helping it. Over the last few years the stigma attached to online dating has been fading, and now it’s becoming common for people from all age-groups. Many of my friends have met wonderful partners through websites such as okcupid or plentyoffish, and while there will be creeps out there, so will there also be lots of honest people who know to be upfront about everything. You can be “matched” with people through common interests, and while there may be the added risk of meeting a stranger, just look at the statistics of how much more likely it is that you’ll be murdered by someone you know! Isn’t that comforting? It will never quite be possible to skip out the stage when you’re wondering whether or not someone’s going to turn around and rip out your heart. The detached nature of technology can actually help some people reach love, reducing the fear of rejection when making the first step; it is easier to brush off being turned down by someone you’ve only seen in photo form. Love isn’t dead; it has changed, as has everything else. We have the luxury that we can sit here and complain about such useless topics - unlike our ancestors, who at our age would probably be married with several children, as well as being over halfway through their disease-ridden lives. I think I’ll stick to modern hospitals, thanks, even if I have to give up quills and lockets of hair. Texts and emails are our love letters, and while they may have less magic surrounding them, I’d much rather be able to bombard my distant boyfriend with inane texts at a low cost than have to wait weeks at the letterbox. Not that I’d do that. Eurgh. Love is gross.
12
Monday 22nd October 2012
The Food Of Love
bite
www.bathimpact.com
Wine and dine them like the sophisticate you are
W
e all know that cooking someone an amazing meal is a great way to impress them, and for giving them energy for whatever physical activity you might have in mind. And as the nights close in and term drags on, we all need a little lovin’…
Easy Peezy Chicken Chasseur – Serves 2 This recipe is ideal for a date night, because it stays in the oven for 35 minutes, leaving you time to wash up, make yourself beautiful, and welcome your lover with a clean, romantic dining area uncluttered with dirty pans. Ingredients
Equipment
2 Chicken Breasts 1 Onion, sliced 1 Red Pepper, sliced 1 tsp Garlic Powder 1 tsp Paprika 1 tsp Onion Gravy Powder 35g Chorizo, sliced ½ a can of Tomatoes ½ a can of Baked Beans 1 Slice of Bread, crumbled/grated 50g Grated Cheese (I used Double Gloucester, but you can use any cheese you want) Oil for cooking
Chopping Board (preferably the heatproof kind as you can then use it to protect the table surface when serving) Paring (Small) Knife Frying Pan Casserole Dish (An entirely metal saucepan would also do – no lid necessary) Grater (for the cheese) Oven Gloves
Method 1. Pre-heat the oven to 190 degrees centigrade 2. Slice your onion, pepper, & chorizo, then crumble your bread and grate your cheese. 3. Fry the onion in a little oil with the paprika and garlic powder for 5 minutes. After this they should be blackening slightly and smell delicious. 4. Tip the onions into your casserole dish and fry the chicken in the leftover oil for 5 minutes to brown and seal the outsides. 5. Put the chicken in the casserole dish with the onions, and tip your beans, tomatoes, onion gravy powder, and chorizo into the pan. Stir gently until thoroughly mixed, and keep on a high heat until the mixture is heated through and bubbling fiercely. 6. While you’re waiting for the tomato sauce, move the onions around the inside of the casserole dish a bit so that they’re not all under the chicken. 7. When the tomato sauce is piping hot, tip it over the chicken and onions in the casserole dish. If there isn’t enough liquid to almost reach the top of the chicken, add hot water. 8. Scatter the cheese and then the bread evenly over the surface of the chicken. 9. Cook in the oven for 35 minutes. If it needs to stay in longer than this because your date hasn’t arrived, no biggie. While you’re waiting, you can set the table and wash up.
The Food Of Lonely Bastards Alternatively, you might be dining alone tonight, so here’s a few ways to make instant noodles for one more interesting. 1. Sizzling stir-fry While your noodles are cooking, fry some onions for 5 minutes until they start to go brown. At this point you can add some vinegar, wine, or soy sauce for extra flavour. When cooked, add the noodles to the pan, and stir with chopped peppers, carrots, ginger, chorizo, or anything you have handy. 2. Oriental Noodles Love the taste of crispy Peking duck and pancakes but not the price? Never fear, this combination will sort you out - at least until you scab a Chinese takeaway off your friends. Simply add to your noodles some small pieces of chicken, Quorn, or turkey, and maybe some thin-sliced cucumber and spring onion, before tossing it all together with some hoisin sauce. 3. Naan Bread Noodles This works best with curry noodles and a naan bread, but can also work with those half cooked baguette things you can buy from Tesco. Cook your noodles as normal and pop the naan / baguette into the oven and wait until it’s almost cooked. When it’s only got a few minutes left whip it out (you are lonely after all) and stuff it full of noodles and whatever else takes your fancy. If you’re feeling healthy, go for some peas and sweetcorn; if you’re not, chuck some grated cheese on that bad boy and let cholesterol fill the lonely places in your heart. 4. The right soundtrack to your cooking and film for your eating This is all on you. Are you angry about this? If so go for Million Dead. Are you in despair? Then that’s Bright Eyes. Are you a thirteen year old girl? My Chemical Romance. Then the film for your eyeballs. Garden State is pretty good for a ‘let’s embrace being a bit lonely and left out’. But, you should probably try and cheer up at some point, so go watch Zoolander, Monty Python or Tropic Thunder. 5. Vodka. Lots and lots of Vodka Voddy will always give you a kiss and help you sleep at night
Gooseys the only classy french bird I need in my life
bcymet
princess toadie
written by Lilly Morris
14
Monday 22nd October 2012
Fashion
bite www.bathimpact.com
Heaven’s Bazaar 3 Margaret Buildings
D
Karrie Nodalokmin Sophia Guilfoyle
B
Yellowshop 72 Walcot Street
C Black&White Shop 21 Broad Street
Vintage to Vogue 28 Milsom Street E
Sophia Guilfoyle
omantic style is a trend that will never go out of fashion; it’s a very feminine look that’s all about being delicate, soft and sweet. An incredibly simple style; all it takes is a mix of floral prints, pastel colours and soft flowing fabrics. The best way to achieve this look is not from the high-street, but from vintage shops as they allow you more individuality with your wardrobe. As the shopping experience is personal, you can have greater expression with what you wear because no one will have the same garment as you – unlike shopping in Topshop or Urban Outfitters! Bath has a fantastic array of second-hand and vintage shops that can provide you with beautiful, affordable clothes and accessories. My favourite vintage shop in Bath is Heaven’s Bazaar, 3 Margaret Buildings. It is a truly special boutique, stocking vintage clothing, jewellery, handbags and accessories as well as furniture. The clothes are magnificent, with designer vintage ranging from frocks to fur - a real eclectic collection of beautiful items. Although items range from the cheap to the extremely expensive, a purchase isn’t necessary for the experience; it is a sanctuary, and first on my list for retail therapy. You are bound to leave with a smile on your face or a bag full of wonderful, charming items. Luckily, there is a long list of vintage boutique shops in Bath. ‘VintageToVogue’, 28 Milson Street is a little gem. It has an assortment of ladies’ and men’s quality clothing from ‘bygone eras’ to classic designers. It even has an online store for those rainy Saturdays. The Yellowshop, 72 Walcot Street offers a mix of vintage, retro and new clothing. It has one-of-a-kind pieces and you are sure to find something to satiate your vintage appetite! Other vintage and second-hand shops include The Black and White Shop, Scarlet Vintage and Instant Vintage, all of which are worth a look! Make sure you don’t rush these visits – take your time to peruse the items for sale; you never know what gems you might find.
Scarlet Vintage 5 Queen Street
Sophia Guilfoyle
R
written by Sophia Guilfoyle
Hati Rose
Sophia Guilfoyle
Sophia Guilfoyle
Wendy Firmin
Wendy Firmin
Out with the New, In with the Old
Monday 22nd October 2012
bite
15
www.bathimpact.com
facebook.com/mintyfresh
Best Dressed
Elliott Campbell
Monday 22nd October 2012 Ben Butcher
Issue 2
It’s a good costume, but really we just had to include this photo
Monumental Tit of The Night
Music
Tall Ships, 24th October at The Croft, Bristol. Tickets: £7 Fabulous alternative/indie band making their mark on British music, headlined BBC Introducing at Reading this year.
noticed an odd trend of males creating a DIY gogo cage for their female companions with their extended arms and a wall. This odd mating dance seemed to trigger a primal defence mechanism in one young lady who fell asleep when she was placed in the cage, clearly hoping that playing dead would end his interest. A certain rugby player took a slightly different approach to courtship. When his female companion seemed to disregard his initial attempts he dropped to his knees and proceeded to propose to her (we assume the ring was a metaphor in this instance). We’re not entirely sure if this venture was succesful - she was whimpering when we left, that’s a good sign right? Finally a shoutout to a certain lady from Snowsports who managed to do what we all thought was impossible and spend more than £10 in Score. The eventual bill came to an astonishing £40, which is either a record or a cry for help.
The Guide
Caleb Wheeler-Robinson
m
intyfresh ventured into Score last week hoping to find fresh faces who were incredibly eager to regale us with joyful tales of their exploits. We were expecting jolly japes, wonderous witticisms and the sharpest humour; the usual mintyfresh that we all know and love. However, what we found was possibly more akin to an Essex town; hordes of despair-filled people who smelled mostly of vomit. They trooped past us with harrowing, soulless eyes and it seemed an insult to ask if they had any funny stories to tell us. Still, at least they’re men now. Like Spartans cast out into the wilderness, they have slayed the wolf and can now stand together, oiled and shirtless, ready to face the enemy on the sportsfield in a totally non-homoerotic way. Still, not to be deterred we ventured into the fray to provide you guys with your bi-weekly dose of embarassing stories about your friends, because fuck compassion. Throughout the night we
Dry The River, 31st October at Komedia, Bath. Tickets: £8,00
Because apparently no means ‘I do’ now
Quote of The Night “No I’d rather not. I’d like to get away from the wall now please... or propose *whimper*”
Events
Liberal Arts, various days at The Little Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £5 Josh Radnor (Ted from How I Met Your Mother) ventures into film making with this charming romantic film about 35 year old Jesse Fisher (Radnor) trying to hold on to his youth with the help of Zibby, a student at his old university (Elizabeth Olsen). For a full review see page 6 of bite. James Wilton’s Cave - in cycles - Falling Unknown, 3rd November at The ICIA Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £7
One of 2012’s breakthrough bands after the success of the stunning debut album, Shallow Bed. Dry The River’s own brand of folk utilises beautiful vocal harmonies, stunning instrumentation and crashing orchestral sections - and they put on a phenomenal live show. Possibly the only chance you’ll get to see them in a venue as small as Komedia.
Award-winning choreographer James Wilton presents a triple bill of high energy and super physical contemporary dance. Drawing influence from martial arts, break dancing, and capoeira, the works push the performers to their physical and mental limits, accompanied by a progressive rock soundtrack.
Dog is Dead and Beans on Toast, 31st October at Thekla, Bristol. Tickets: £8.50 Dog is Dead have made themselves a well known band on the festival circuit and Beans On Toast is simply amazing. Hilarious, talented and pioneers/creators of the drunk folk genre.
Ben Butcher
The effects of welcome socials. Her face was stuck like that for the entire night, we think it’s okay now
Just Jack Halloween Freak Boutique, 27th October at Motion, Bristol. Tickets: £15 Dry The River, they’re good. Like, really fucking good
Halloween, Motion, masses of fancy dress. ‘Nuff said really.
16
Monday 22nd October 2012
Puzzle Corner Across 1. A show of affection, possibly originating from 18 down (6,4) 2. Literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm (6) 4. The ‘cuddle’ chemical (8) 7. Romantic Comedy set at Christmas (4,8) 12. What ‘21 down’ is (4) 13. The most romantic suit (5) 15. The person who Romeo was in love with before Juliet (8) 17. An Italian dish best not eaten on a first date. Unless you’re a dog. (9,9) 19. The chemical released by both MDMA and love (9) 21. A flower typically symbolising love (3,4) 22. Italian adventurer and author whose name is now synonymous with ‘womaniser’ (8) 23. An occasion where two people meet up romantically; also a shrivelled plum (4) 24. Romantic film starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan (9,2,7) 25. A depressant and tranquiliser that is sometimes used as a date rape drug (8) 26. The ‘pleasure’ chemical (8) 27. Knightly word for seeking a lady’s affection (8) 28. An idiom for falling in love with someone (4,4,5)
Darius N. www.gonescribbling.tumblr.com
Libra
September 23 - October 22
October 23 - November 21
www.bathimpact.com
Down 1. Appallingly written erotic novel by E. L. James (5,6,2,4) 3. Greek ‘hero’ who killed his dad and then banged his mum (7) 5. Cute little angel who shoots people’s hearts with his bow and arrow (5) 6. Curious author who kept her deceased husband’s heart in her desk (4,7) 8. Aquatic animals who have sex for pleasure (8) 9. Romantic film, set in Morocco, starring Humphrey Bogart (10) 10. Hot beverage often offered when ‘boom-time’ is on the cards (6) 11. A South American passionate dance for couples (9,5) 14. A romantic ‘Sport’ (6,11) 16. Irish author who wrote the ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ (5,5) 18. The city of love (5) 19. British playwright who wrote hundreds of romantic sonnets (11) 20. The most romantic type of love (4) 21. bite’s theme for this issue (7)
Horoscopes
Scorpio
bite
Sagittarius
Capricorn
November 22 - December 21
December 22 - January 20
Do things like write articles or horoscopes during lectures. It looks like you’re working, you have more free time and having to blank out everything while working on something else really focuses your mind … my friend told me… he also writes horoscopes and articles.
Standard ‘John Terry is a cunt’ horoscope.
Look at your beard, look at Scroobius Pip’s beard. If you can’t get near to Pip or at the very least actual face coverage, then shave it (Kyle, shave it). Full face coverage, cool. Pubes on face, not cool. It’s a lesson we all must learn.
What the fuck are you doing with your life? Last week some dude jumped from fucking space and landed on his feet! What did you do? You watched it in your boxers, ate some cheese and had a wank. Are you proud of that? Really? Go jump out of something! Now!
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Ladies, look at your man, now picture me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like… I’m on a horse.
Get a mohawk. You can totally pull it off. Your friends are lying when they say you can’t. Who do you trust? Them or the random person you’ve never even met who thinks he’s the Old Spice man and spends most days swearing at John Terry? Exactly. Bitches love mohawks.
This week’s theme is romance and it’s time to let that special girl know how you feel. Find her (tip: she’s probably clutching the bar in XL like it’s a cliff face), take her hand and look her in the eye, then you softly say, “I want to tickle your kidney and lose my watch in you, but don’t worry, you can keep it”.
Call an old flame this week, maybe rekindle an old romance or bury the hatchet. Buy a fifth of vodka, drink it while looking at pictures of them and when you’re ready give them a call. Topics to discuss could be, “I fucking hate you”, “I still fucking love you” or “Can I have my watch back?”
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
January 21 - February 19
May 21 - June 20
This week, try not to wake up still a bit drunk, fully clothed with your shoes on, pocket contents strewn about the bed and clutching a lighter like a teddy bear. At the very least don’t do it twice like you did last week, it’s getting a bit sad… ah shit sorry, this is my horoscope.
February 20 - March 20
June 21 - July 21
The stars say you’ll get insanely good luck if at about 8pm tonight you bring two Kronenburgs, one Coors Light, one Guinness and two Snake Bites to the bathimpact office. Yeah just leave it outside the door, thanks. I mean, the stars say thanks.
March 21 - April 20
Teabag the fucker.
July 22 - August 22
April 21 - May 20
August 23 - September 22
You guys are getting too greedy. It’s time you learned some patience and restraint. As such I’m withholding the final horoscope until you learn not to expect things all the time and work for them yourselves.