bathimpact Volume14 Issue5

Andean Cuisine

Cool

World Pages 14

Archbishop

News Pages 5

See bite in the middle of paper

bathimpact The University of Bath Students’ Union Newspaper

Monday 19th November 2012

www.bathimpact.com

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson

Volume 14 Issue 5

In this week’s bathimpact Graduate jobs The difficult challenges facing graduates when they leave university and how the state of the job market is changing in the current economic climate for students are examined by bathimpact reporter Madeline Winn.

To find out more, turn to page 4

Election spending bathimpact’s Vishala Ramswami talks about the variance in election spending across the Western world.

She looks at how the recent American election was one of the most costly in history, but explores how, conversely, the UK still has equality issues.

Read more in the Business section on page 12

Scroobius Pip Cross-over spoken word hiphop star Scroobius Pip speaks to bite about his new tour with support act Kate Tempest, his success at Latitude Festival, as well as his previous success with Dan le Sac vs. Scoobius Pip.

On Tuesday 13th November the Christmas lights in Bath were turned on by John Bishop whilst live on the BBC’s ‘The One Show’

For the exclusive interview see page 15 of bite

SU gives policy to students Charles Skinner bathimpact Reporter

The Students’ Union has announced the unveiling of its new policy mechanism “Ideas to Action”. The mechanism will allow any student to submit policy and makes policies easier to pass.

“Ideas to Action” lets students “suggest ideas, big and small whether focussed on the SU, University or local community” according to SU Presi-

dent Chris Clements. They then take one of several paths towards implementation, from formal voting, to a poll on bathstudent, to referral to an area Executive Committee, however final decisions about the direction that any given policy will take will be made by the SU Officer team.

The new mechanism has been greeted warmly by many members of the Union, as there has not been such a mechanism for four years. Union

Council was a body of students responsible for policy that existed until 2009 when it was dissolved by a governance overhaul. From 2009 the only way for students to create SU policy has been through referenda, which have a quoracy of five per cent.

The University of Bath has had many problems with voter turnout in the past. The last referendum, reducing the size of the SU Officer team from six to five, scraped through the

five per cent barrier after a last day door-to-door effort from the Officers.

The recent vote by students to support the NUS’ demonstration passed with only 111 students voting in favour of it. The 2011 vote of no-confidence, in then Education Officer Matt Benka, fell not because students voted in his favour but because the rare ten per cent quoracy level could not be reached.

More SU changes on page 4.

Scan for bathimpact online

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Monday 19th November 2012

bathimpact

Editorials

The BBC: Media scapegoat O

ver the last two weeks nothing seems to have dominated the news more than the BBC and their unending failings.

The British people and politicians up and down the country are baying for blood. They say that the system needs a shake up and those in charge need to be thrown out. MPs cannot understand why the Director General was not clearing all material broadcast by Newsnight after everything that had happened with Jimmy Saville.

We at bathimpact are always willing to forgive MPs for not understanding things. Sometimes they can be ever so slow witted. They can also be so misleading. None of this is about the ex Tory MP and allegations of abuse. This goes all the way back to Leveson. It has been a year where the media have been put in the spotlight in the UK in a way that they have not been for some time. Enquiries into phonehacking, BSkyB and NewsCorp, high profile resignations have all meant that the media have not got the standing in society that

they once did. That makes them an easy target for those looking to score cheap political points.

It is the job of the media to be critical. It is the job of the media to report on stories that you would otherwise never hear about. As a result media and elected officials rarely get along and the BBC always report on the failings of the government. Now that the BBC appear weak it is no surprise to find politicians jumping up and down on them. Most of this jumping is a stream of moronic questions: Why was the DG not checking content? It is not their job to and never has been. They are the Chief Executive and are there to manage others. The idea of the Director General looking over any content at all is frankly ridiculous.

Why did Newsnight cover up the Jimmy Saville investigation? They did not. They chose not to run in on advice from the Crown Prosecution Service, who had run their own investigation and could not make the

case.

Now that the bad blood has gone, won’t the BBC run better? No. George Entwistle had only had the job for 6 weeks and so had not yet been replaced as Head of Vision. The Editorial Executive Board of the BBC now consists of Tim Davie (Acting Director General), Roger Mosely (Acting Director of Vision), Ralph Rivera (Director of Future Media), no Director of Audio and Music because Tim Davie is busy right now, and no Director of News because Helen Boaden has now stepped aside. Looks stable. Maybe for good measure fire the guy running the website.

Does the BBC have any integrity left? The BBC remains a model for media outlets around the world.

While allegations were being thrown around the BBC had a ticker on the front page of its website entitled “Crisis at the BBC”. After the Newsnight episode with abuse allegations the next Newsnight led with “Trouble at Newsnight”. Panorama ran an investigation into Newsnight. Only at

the BBC would this happen. While NewsCorp were in the spotlight no news outlet owned by NewsCorp reported a word about it. The BBC have proven once again that they can and will hold themselves to account. They remain a model to this newspaper and to student media everywhere.

Politicians who are using the opportunity do not look nearly as good.

There were concerns from within this Students’ Union, following the first few issues of this newspaper and our new found sense of purpose and morals, that bathimpact would be unable to hold ourselves accountable for our actions. That we would be short-sighted with our publication and would be quick to blame others.

The nature of the media is to be critical. That criticism applies to us more than anyone else. The Director General resigned because he felt it “honourable”. This newspaper stands by the BBC and the example they have set. They seem to be the only people who understand what honour means.

Which is worse affairs or war?

M any of you may have only recently become familiar with the name of David Petraeus. The name has, among many others, recently been gracing our headlines in relation to another sex scandal. Another man in power abusing his position to sleep with a younger woman. Cue moral outrage. However, bathimpact feels this is another case of distorted morals amongst the public and the media and much of Petraeus’ career should come under greater moral scrutiny.

For those of you who are unaware, General Petraeus was the head of the CIA and before that the 2007 “Surge” of troops to Iraq and since 2010 the head of operations in Afghanistan.

Last week he resigned after the FBI

became aware of an extramarital affair he was having with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. He is the most celebrated US general of recent years and as such has been subject to many glowing biographies like the recent one from Paula Broadwell which obviously led to his downfall (we’ll ignore the narcissism for now). We at bathimpact however feel these accomplishments may be overstated and at the very least, morally questionable.

The operations in Afghanistan and his CIA tenure are controversial, mainly because of the widespread use of unmanned drones in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The CIA has taken on a new form since 2001, becoming a covert, some would say paramilitary,

force for seeking out and annihilating terrorists rather than an organisation dedicated to collecting information and protecting America. These drones target supposed Taliban camps but there is very little means of discovering how accurate the attacks were.

The reported numbers of civilian deaths vary, it is believed to be significant but there are no concrete facts, but the attacks have created a climate of fear and portray the USA as simply a country with a permanent kill list.

There is also no means of delivering compensation after mistakes as in the case of manned missions. The use of drones vastly increased under Petraeus and the CIA is able to operate them remotely secret bases without giving details or confirmation, creating a

vast vacuum of accountability.

These facts however our widely disregarded and Petraeus has instead succumbed to a sex scandal, although he is now conveniently not needed at a hearing over discrepancies about the September 11th Benghazi attacks.

The public attention is easily swayed by sex scandals as it something that is easy to comprehend, allowing them to make tutting noises in conversations as they watch a solitary figure fall from grace. This means that larger moral issues that lie beneath are often overlooked as it would mean the system, which they themselves are a part of, must be scrutinised and changed which takes real effort, rather than simply the disdainful noises of tabloid reader

law in the relevant country.

The policy has had some weight.

INTERPOL has helped transport dealers, pirates, murderers and general criminals through a web of complicated extradition treaties, so it could easily be argued that their existence ensures a world connected through common acceptance of an international norm on crime and punishments.

The issue occurs when extradition becomes the politicised tool of diplomacy and coercion. A recent example is Abu Hamza who early last month was hastily flown to the U.S. to face terrorism charges. Akin to this are the stories of Gary McKinnon, a

middle-aged man with severe autism who hacked into the Pentagon computer system in search of ‘aliens’, and perhaps more famously, the U.S. demand – via Sweden – for Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks.

The UK has focused greatly on manipulating the European Convention on Human Rights in both the McKinnon and Hamza cases, a move which would be appreciated by our trans-Atlantic allies the U.S. The high-profile of these cases puts the process of international justice in dire jeopardy.

The U.S. has long used extradition as a way to assert its power on countries, but is far from reciprocal

in its actions. This is primarily because the U.S. has refused to ratify the 2002 extradition treaty so that, whilst the UK is forced by law to extradite to the U.S., the U.S. only has to do the same if they can supply “probable cause”. The rights of British criminals are therefore less than those of an American one; ironically the reason Congress blocked the bill.

Extradition has to be fair and equal to work, until it is, it will be hard not to see it as politicised. It has to be sensible and sensitive to human rights. Until extradition laws reflect these simple values we cannot be seen as the civilised countries we belief we are.

Justice versus extradition T

he basic principle of justice is that those who commit crimes should be held accountable for their actions. A criminal should stand up in front of a jury of their peers who can decide, based on evidence; that the accused has committed crimes against the society and the values it is built on. The system has worked effectively for many hundreds of years, but an anomaly in the process occurs when the criminal escapes from, or performs his crime from outside the community he has wronged. It is with this that the idea of extradition appears; an agreement between countries that said wrongdoer should face the full force of the

www.bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie Editor-in-Chief impact-editor@bath.ac.uk

Elliott Campbell Deputy Editor impact-deputy@bath.ac.uk

Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

Liv Hows News and Comment Editor impact-news@bath.ac.uk

Benjamin Butcher Features Editor impact-features@bath.ac.uk

Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson Photography Editor impact-photo@bath.ac.uk

Katharine Agg Online Editor impact-it@bath.ac.uk

Scarlett Clark Publicity Officer impact-publicity@bath.ac.uk

Aran Gnana Treasurer impact-money@bath.ac.uk

Nick Hill Media Officer su-media-officer@bath.ac.uk

Advertising Enquires Helen Freeman H.Freeman@bath.ac.uk 01225 386806 www.facebook.com/bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

bathimpact Students’ Union University of Bath Bath BA2 7AY 01225 38 6151

The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct.

Please contact them for any information.

Monday 19th November 2012

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News

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fortnight photo

The first decision I have made is to get a grip.

“

“

expressimpact Acting Director General, Tim Davie on his first task at the BBC

Superstorm Sandy destroys large parts of the U.S.

WarmSleepy

fortnight in figures

$600 billion

The amount of spending cuts and tax increases that will come into force if the U.S. falls off the “fiscal cliff” on January 1st

News Lite

Talking Points

• The recent developments in the BBC • Is the UK media in crisis?

• The changes in the SU officer elections and nominatins.

Tune into Buzz on 1449AM URB for interviews and conversation on these topics.

6pm on Thursday

INTERNATIONAL

UPCOMING EVENT

LOCAL

The CIA has had several scandals concerning senior members and extra-marital affairs and sending of inappropriate emails. General David Petraeus, the now former CIA chief, it has been discovered, has been having an affair with his biographer Mrs Paula Broadwell.

This came to light after Mrs Broadwell sent aggressive emails to Jill Kelley, an American socialite whom she saw as competition.

The Bath Christmas Market

A 58 year old woman had to be attended to by paramedics and firefighters after an unfortunate bell ringing incident. Having only started bell ringing three months previously, Helen Springthorpe was surprise to find herself being caught up in the bell ropes and being thrown around the belfry as the rest of the group looked on.

UPCOMING EVENT

NATIONAL

EDUCATION

INTERNATIONAL

Launch of the new Students’ Union policy mechanism ‘Ideas to Action’.

Muslim cleric, Abu Qatada, has won his appeal against being extradited to Jordan, where he is wanted on charges of plotting to carry out bombing attacks. As he has won his appeal he will now be released from prison on bail. MPs in the House of Commons are said to be dissatisfied with the court ruling and are keen to extradite him from the UK.

A Council for the Defence of British Universities has been set up in response to the influx of government university reforms, their main complaint being the fundamental change in universities from focus on education to consumerism. The Council will campaign for the abolition of government university funding quangos in favour of independent grant-funding organisations.

Tens of thousands of people around the world have signed a petition saying that Malala Yousafzai, 15 year old girl from Pakistan, who has campaigned for girls’ right to education in her native country, to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. After being shot in the head by the Taliban, Malala’s story has become a global sensation.

updates & events

There will be an “ideas board” where people can ask their questions about the topic.

Place: Students’ Centre Date: 20th November Time: 12-2pm

Dates: 22nd November - 9th December Place: In and around the centre of Bath. The main stalls will be in the area near the Abbey.

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Monday 19th November 2012

bathimpact

News

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SU Election shake-up CU questions T T William McAvoy bathimpact Reporter

he SU Officer elections have undergone their biggest shake up in years after nominations were opened in week one of the year. The new format permits students to nominate themselves at any point in the year and, perhaps more crucially, to repeat that information to others.

Under old rules candidates who informed others that they were intending to run for an SU Officer position or had nominated themselves were deemed to be campaigning. The rules made it clear that campaigning before campaign week was not permitted. This put candidates in an impossible situation in terms of both preparing a campaign and raising a public profile.

Endsleigh are running information sessions about the role of SU Officers from an employer’s perspective on November 20th and December 6th in the Tub as part of a concerted effort from the SU to encourage more candidates. Traditionally the elections have contained few candidates from certain demographics, particularly postgraduate and international stu-

Lawrence Barnard bathimpact Reporter he Christian Union carried out a questionnaire on the 26th of October. With nearly 200 people responding, hopefully the results are a fair representation of the feelings of the general student population. So what were these questions and how did Bath Students respond?: One of the questions that was asked was: Do you believe in God? 43 per cent said yes, 29 per cent responded maybe, 28 per cent said they did not.

Another key question that the CU thought should be asked was: What do you think is the biggest problem in the whole world? Now the top three answers here were clear. Out of the 9 options available, selfishness, with 24 per cent, and sin and poverty with 17 per cent each, were the most popular answers.

What is the best hope for the world? Joint first were the answers Love and Better Education with 29 per cent each, second being a Divine Saviour to which 17 per cent agreed with.

Who do you think Jesus is? 40 per cent answered that they thought he was Good Teacher, 19 per cent Saviour of the World, then Messiah and Average Man both attracted 15 per cent respectively, and only 6 per cent

dents, who are often unaware of their eligibility. Stranger still is the consistently higher numbers of men running, despite most Executives Committees containing more women.

Unconfirmed rumours are also rife that a number of other changes to the rules for elections have been made and that the debate format will be completely overhauled. Interviews conducted with e a c h candidate by 1449AM U R B , concurrently with ‘Hustings’, are thought to get scrapped.

This comes as meetings take place between SU Officers and senior staff in order to map out the strategy of the SU for the next three years. Included in that strategy are a number of items on elections, engaging students actively and voter turnout. The University of Bath Students’ Un-

ion’s elections are thought to be some of the best elections in the country, consistently achieving a voter turnout that puts them in the top ten amongst Students’ Unions. This is however only around 25 per cent, a damning indictment of the performance of other SUs, and not a particularly high figure for us.

Students’ U n i o n Presid e n t Chris C l e ments s a i d “Bath SU is among the best Students’ Unions in the country and involving as many students as possible in setting our direction is vital to that. We want all students to know they have the opportunity to run and vote in these elections. That means continuing to make positive changes to our methods.”

SU Officer voting takes place in March of next year.

thought he did not exist at all.

How would you have responded to these key questions on religion and approaches to life and belief? Maybe you nodded your head and agreed with many of the most popular responses, although perhaps some of them really surprised you. Many of these questions are pretty divisive and at a university you find a real melting pot of people from all over the world and of all sorts of backgrounds, all of whom are responding differently when asked, but who are all concerned about similar Big questions. That is to say, happiness, the existence of a god, the problems in this world, hopes. Some are maybe even interested in what Jesus is all about.

The CU is really interested in the opinions of people here at Bath and really cares about what students think. Every year there is a whole weeks’ worth of varied and engaging events aimed at letting people know what the Gospel is really about, who Jesus is and the opportunity to respond to what you conclude. Through listening to students’ opinions, the CU wants to have talks and events that can really answer key issues and questions. There will be a group of Oxford academics to lead the discussion at #GodofLove? 19th-23rd November.

One supposed advantage of a degree, and an argument often used to counter-act the debt incurred at university, is the graduate salary premium. However, this has been declining by as much as 2 per cent per annum, compared with average national earnings over the last 10 years. Graduates with an arts degree saw their relative earnings fall by 33 per cent between 2003 and 2011, while humanities students witnessed a slump of almost a quarter over the same time. Men have also been hit more severely than women. However, the academics said that there was still a significant salary advantage to having a degree.

The study’s findings reflect a combination of the recent recession and the continued increase in the numbers of graduates leaving British universities.

The study also found that while non-white graduates are significantly more likely to experience graduate unemployment, graduates whose parents did not go to university have a greater chance of being in a non-graduate job.

Therefore, Kate Purcell, a professor with a sociology background who coled the study, said: ‘the worrying thing is what we do pick up very clearly is that social mobility is not something

In the current economic climate getting a degree doesn’t necessarily help in all occupations that happens just as a result of having concludes that ‘it’s a good news, bad there’s more incidences of people dohad the experience of higher educa- news story as graduate prospects are ing jobs which are clearly not jobs that tion.’ declining but optimism is high. use their skills and qualifications’.

Despite facing worse prospects Purcell goes on to say: ‘the good Similarly, Jane Artress, research than a decade ago, graduates are very news is that most of them say they’d director at Higher Education Careers optimistic - two-thirds of university do it again. That’s quite extraordinary. Service Unit (HECSU), commented: students are hopeful about their long- Most are quite optimistic, rightly or “even in the wake of the recession, the term prospects. Additionally, 96 per wrongly, about their long-term pros- onset of higher fees and large debts, cent of graduates stated they were pects. But the short term fact is that graduates remain positive in the face glad to have taken a degree and would there’s much higher graduate unem- of adversity with great confidence that choose do so again. Therefore, Purcell ployment than there has been and their degree has been worth it’.

Fewer graduate jobs up for grabs Madelaine Winn bathimpact Reporter

G

raduates are facing a much tougher jobs market and worse economic prospects than they were a decade ago, according to a recent long term study. The ‘Futuretrack’ study, carried out by academics based at the University of Warwick, has revealed that 4 in every 10 graduates from 2010 have worked in non-graduate jobs. This is nearly twice as much as a decade earlier.

Unemployment is also a serious problem; significant periods of unemployment were reported by 10 per cent of graduates. Graduates are facing many difficulties in finding employment, particularly in the two years following graduation; significant numbers face unemployment or are in low-skilled jobs.

Furthermore, debt is a growing problem; half of the students that started university in 2006 face more than £20,000 in debt. The average debt of survey participants is £16,000.

Thus the study showed that debt for those at English universities has risen by 60 per cent in real terms compared with students that graduated in 1999. This does not include the fee increase from approximately £3,000 to £9,000.

Monday 19th November 2012

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5

Tom Long bathimpact Reporter he last thing you might expect to find in the Sahara desert is a thousand-strong convoy of identical classic cars. But that’s exactly what happens once a year on the 4L Trophy, a Dakar-style charity rally across Morocco run by students and restricted to one model – the venerable Renault 4. Built continuously from 1961 to 1992, it remains one of the most popular cars ever sold.

Unfortunately they were not built to last – chronic rust has claimed most of them and less than 200 remain in Britain.

The purpose of the rally is to deliver donated educational supplies to isolated schools in south-eastern Morocco where the lack of basic resources like pencils and paper is often one of the biggest barriers to a child’s education. Teams also collect funds to support Enfants du Désert, a charity working in the region to build schools and train teachers. They also work on medical projects such as the provision of glasses and hearing aids, and sustainable development such as solar power installations.

Three years ago, I took part in a charity hitch-hike to Morocco and was struck by the resilience and kindness of the people that I met, despite the harsh conditions in which they live. Young Moroccans will take whatever they are dealt, apply a little im-

Tom Long

Driving in the desert for donations T

This is the car Francesca and Tom will be crossing the desert in to deliver the much needed supplies agination and a lot of optimism and multiply over time; to quote Buddha: I learned about the 4L Trophy it create viable businesses in the most “It is like a lighted torch whose flame seemed like the perfect excuse to go unlikely of situations. Their entre- can be distributed to ever so many back and to support an excellent cause preneurial spirit puts The Apprentice other torches which people may bring at the same time. The format is simicontestants to shame; imagine what along; and therewith they will cook lar to the Mongol Rally, except that they could achieve if they had all the food and dispel darkness, while the the cars return home at the end rather opportunities that we do! This is why original torch itself remains burning than being auctioned off. Starting in education is the most worthwhile sup- ever the same”.

France and passing through Spain, port that a foreign charity can give.

After the hitch, I was determined crossing into Morocco the route Unlike most other forms of aid, the to return to Morocco (albeit this time leaves the tarmac roads and winds benefits of educational development at the wheel of my own car). When across the Atlas mountain range and

down into the desert where the donations are distributed to local schools

by Enfants du Désert. 1,350 cars will take part this year, and you can imagine the amount of donations they carry. Last year the charity received 82 tonnes of equipment! Now in its 16th year, the rally has directly helped 15,000 children through school.

Francesca, copilot on the rally, graduated from Bath this year and shares a passion for sustainable development as well as an adventuring spirit that draws us back to Africa.

Together we are Team Quatrelle and Back Again (named after the French nickname for the Renault 4 car). We are the first team ever to take part from the UK, which feels like a big responsibility but it’s also a popular angle with sponsors.

We bought a suitable Renault 4 in France, named it Felicia and brought it back to Bath for repairs and fundraising. We are in the middle of registering our team as a charity, which will enable us to boost our total with gift-aid on certain donations. We are targeting local and national businesses to sponsor us by selling advertising stickers on the car. Finally, we are planning a grand raffle and we’ve already collected some fabulous prizes donated by local businesses. Tickets will be available soon, and you can follow us on Facebook to get the latest updates. http://www.facebook.com/ Team4L

William McAvoy bathimpact Reporter bar in central Bath has come under heavy criticism this week after allegations that a bouncer made homophobic remarks to a member of the public.

Belushi’s Bar in Bath is conducting an investigation after one of their doormen, when turning away a group of young men due to their lack of ID, is alleged to have called after them as they walked away: “This isn’t a fucking homosexual bar anyway”.

On Sunday morning the Bath resident, who wishes to remain nameless, posted on the bar’s Facebook page about what he and his friends had experienced the night before. The post was then hidden by the resident before he finally deleting it, causing wide-spread speculation that Belushi’s themselves had deleted the post. As the story became more widely known, it gained momentum on several social networking sites, as outrage grew at the supposed treatment of the group.

Belushi’s responded the following day with a statement from the

A

manager, Chris Fox: “We take any allegation of homophobia very seriously and are currently investigating the situation. If we confirm that this is a case where a doorman made a homophobic comment to a member of the public, we will carry out a full disciplinary procedure.

Belushi’s Bath has never and will never, tolerate homophobia.”

Belushi’s have been threatened with boycotts on their Facebook page in the wake of the allegations but have urged the public to “bear with [them]” while they conclude their investigation.

The complainants have also come under criticism from members of the public on Facebook for airing their complaint on the social networking site instead of approaching the manager.

If you experience any abuse from a doorman or bouncer in Bath ask for their name and I.D. number, both of which they are required to have on display at all times. Either write a complaint to the manager or pass the information on to any of the SU Officers.

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson

Allegations of homophobia at bar

After the allegations had been made, an investigation into the incident began and is still in progress

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Monday 19th November 2012

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Comment

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fused, and as such were threatened with disaffiliation and asked to erase LSE SU branding from their online presence. Half a year on, the group remains affiliated and the cartoons are still viewable.

Given this history, and the tendency of atheist/secularist groups towards stridency, one can understand LSE SU's reticence to allow the name change, which at first glance seems antagonistic. Certainly, one cannot rule out the possibility that some members of ASH voted for the change because of the anticipated schadenfreude. However, reading the argument put forward by Hoorain and others like her, it is impossible to deny that 'ex-Muslim' is a real cultural identity, with a whole host of consequences (some deadly, as ongoing cases of honour killings show), which merits its own support network. That a larger society with similar values has offered to provide this is surely a positive step.

It is incomprehensible to imagine, for example, asking an LGBT group to consult with a hypothetical heterosexual society over their name. Why then, is it acceptable to require these ex-Muslims to discuss their identity with their union's Islamic society? The key issue here is that of offence, but crucially whether the offence is simply taken or deliberately given. Are the ex-Muslims seeking to deliberately give offence?

In light of the worldwide persecution they claim to suffer (and their evidence is fairly compelling), they would be idiotic to do so. More likely then, they have simply found a common moniker appropriate to them

dannybirchall

Tom Ash bathimpact Writer LSE student and Pakistani human rights lawyer Sundas Hoorain has published an open letter to the LSE Students' Union, in which she criticises their decision not to allow an atheist student society to add the term 'Ex-Muslim' to its name. LSE ASH (Atheist Secularist Humanist) Society recently voted through the change to include this in their name and thus recognise the identity as a separate part of the group's identity and thus become ASHES. The change was submitted for approval to the union's activities committee, who subsequently rejected it.

No ASH to ASHES then (nor dust to dust). The activities committee is quoted as giving the following reason: 'by adding ‘ex-Muslim’ to the society name it will no longer become a safe space for ex-Muslims; in the sense that it may be an indication as to where ex-Muslims can affiliate to'. In order for this statement to make any kind of sense, one must understand the underlying implication; that external parties will pick up on the change and target members of the society as a result. But, Hoorain responds, former Muslims are already being persecuted by their erstwhile peers, in Britain as well as countries such as her native Pakistan. She is herself, she adds, “no longer welcome at the dining table” in her own home. Since the rejection, the group has been told it must first consult with the Islamic society and run more events in keeping with the 'ex-Muslim' theme before reapplying.

Should ‘ex-muslims’ not be able to be a part of an atheist group?

This is not the first time even this and a group willing to support their year that LSE SU has clashed with social personality. That others find their ASH Society. Earlier this year this offensive is surely not enough cartoons were posted on the group's to deny them their right to express Facebook page, depicting Jesus and themselves publicly and peacefully Mohamed, which drew complaints on an issue which is central to their from Muslim students. ASH were beliefs, just as Muslims must be altold to remove the cartoons, but re- lowed to do the same.

Hyougushi

Name shame Durham to Canterbury

Canterbury Cathedral: soon to be home and diocis of the current Bishop of Durham Justin Welby David Cameron bathimpact Writer

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ollowing months of secrecy we now know that the 105th Archbishop of Canterbury will be Bishop Justin Welby of Durham. The successor to Dr. Rowan Williams, however will not have an easy task ahead of them as they try to reconcile the church both in England and abroad on matters such as gay marriage and the ordinations of female and gay bishops. As you could probably guess, this will not be an easy task.

Bishop Welby’s appointment is a shock to many, including the bishop himself, with the prospect only raised about a week before the announcement earlier this month.

As a result, more and more people in the church want to remove the hidden aspects to the appointment with open shortlists and a public timeline.

However, the appointment of the current Bishop of Durham to the post is perhaps one of the most important aspects for the church today, considering how it will resolve internal conflicts and continue to be relevant for millions across the world as the centre of the Anglican Communion. Bishop Welby has had

a career in the fast lane, working within the oil industry before fully exploring his vocation as a priest after the death of his daughter in a car crash. He was later ordained in 1992, became the Dean of Liverpool in 2007 and then the Bishop of Durham late last year. As a result of this fast rise, there are some critics who question whether he will have enough knowledge as a bishop to cope with the role and whether he will be able to bind together what is seen to many as a fractured church both home and abroad.

On reflection, this seems likely – he has experience of both boardroom disputes and of conflict resolution with warring factions in Nigeria. In addition, he fundamentally cares about how the church is perceived – this may lead to decisions being made faster and, perhaps more importantly, with both the liberal and traditional wings of the church agreeing on the final results.

Ultimately, this means that we may begin to see some more movement on the things that currently make the church look a bit like an outdated institution. With a vote on female bishops this month, the new Archbishop’s vocal stance for the rights of women in the church

is bound to go unnoticed and a vote against it would not only throw the public’s perception of the church back by hundreds of years but it would also undermine the position of Bishop Welby before he is enthroned in Canterbury next year.

In addition, the new Archbishop is open to debate and dialogue. As a result, it may be possible that his position may be changed by the views of the believers. As an evangelical member of the church, he is seen to be very traditional on issues such as gay marriage so movement from the top alone currently seems unlikely. However, the issue has never been debated in full by the Synod and until this happens, a change in policy simply can’t happen. Whilst the Government want to push forward with gay marriage, it hasn’t engaged with the church properly and so it will reduce the impacts for the church, despite the many gay Christians who want to be able to declare their love in the eyes of God. It seems that the Church may have taken a large step forward in Bishop Welby’s appointment.

It however remains to be seen if it steps backwards in its views in the coming months.

Monday 19th November 2012

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Comment

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7

The protest and prison phenomena Robert Page bathimpact Writer

Does jumping the river and disrupting the boat race really justify having to spend six months in prison? the release of Pussy Riot, while tak- a symbol of a lot of issues in Brit- the supposedly undue influence the ing no notice of the jailing if Tren- ain around class. Seventy per cent church now holds over politics in ton Oldfield in our own country. of government pushing through Russia. Two national institutions Oldfield leapt into the Thames to very significant cuts are Oxford or with unfair influence, two governprotest against, in his own words, Cambridge graduates.” Pussy Riot ments, two protestors, two prison elitism. While this seems an oddly meanwhile were aiming to high- sentences so why only one global vague thing to protest against, in light with their protest, the growing outcry at Pussy Riot’s incarceration? court he elaborated on why he tar- ties between the Russian Orthodox After some intense brain storming geted the boat race specifically. “It’s Church and Putin’s government and sessions, I believe I can answer my

question with one symbol - #.

Simply put, #FREEPUSSYRIOT is a lot catchier and makes you look a lot more edgy than #FreeTrentonOldfeild and in a world where increasingly everything begins and ends at Twitter, it would appear the name you choose (or is chosen for you) is what defines whether your protest is deemed to be worthy of international support or minor coverage and a jail sentence. Hashtags and online acronyms are seeping through the cracks in the internet, into real life and now it’s starting to actually influence international politics, you cannot have complex and informed debate in 140 characters.

By the way, #YOLO is not a productive or sustainable way to make every decision you face in life.

Getting back to Oldfield’s case, we need to take a long hard look at ourselves here, we complain for months about it happening in some far off country that most of us have never visited and then have the balls to simply ignore it in our own, supposedly free-speech proud country because it makes us uncomfortable to think about it happening so close to home. There is a man sat in a UK prison right now, for protesting and no one seems to care. #FreeTrentonOldfield.

per cent in 2010.

These findings do seem quite promising, but unfortunately there is an equal amount of evidence to dim any hopes for a more socially equitable Britain in the near future.

A 2012 study by the Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) shows that social mobility in Britain has actually declined since the 1970s, with the top one per cent of the country’s population now earning a greater proportion of the national income than at any point in time since the 1930s. The survey throws up similarly bleak statistics for educational equality as well: the OECD report highlights the fact that Britain has the most ‘socially segregated’ schooling system in the developed world, with students whose parents have low levels of education and income being extremely likely to attend schools with very high concentrations of similarly disadvantaged children.

And the latest escalation in University fees looks set to exacerbate this inequality even further, with the steep fall in the number of university applicants this year being attributed mainly to financial concern. A survey done by The Guardian discloses that 3 out of 5 sixth

population, and disturbing the socioeconomic homogeneousness of the British state schooling system, all seem like good measures to take us forward and narrow this social disparity down even further.

Peter Trimming

Y

ou probably blinked at some point over last few weeks and missed the fact that Trenton Oldfield, the man who jumped into the River Thames to interrupt the 2012 Oxford & Cambridge boat race, has been sentenced to 6 months in prison for his ‘crime’. I’ll forgive you if you were unaware of this, it only got a small mention in most media outlets and even then it was mainly just a slightly rearranged press release.

Contrast this, with all the coverage given to Pussy Riot , the Russian punk band sentenced to two years in prison for protesting against Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Pussy Riots ‘crime’ was to preform a protest song within a cathedral in Moscow. Sound Familiar?

For months it seemed like every politician, musician and celebrity was queuing up to shout “Free Pussy Riot” into every available microphone. I’m not for a minute suggesting that we shouldn’t free Pussy Riot, their case highlights the rightful distrust many people have of Putin and the control he exerts on the Russian justice system. However, with this article I want to highlight our collective hypocrisy in crying for

Vishala Ramswami bathimpact Writer

R

ecent research by the Institute of Fiscal Studies reveals that the inequality in educational attainment by British students from different economic classes has narrowed over the past five years, with the gap in the number of university students from the wealthiest and the poorest sectors of society dropping from 40 per cent in 2006, to 37 per cent in 2010.

The report also states that whilst less well-off students are still far

3 out of 5

Sixth formers say fees put them off going to university less likely to go to University than their more privileged peers, the percentage of poorer students who go to university is growing at a much more significant rate than that of wealthier students: the number of students from the poorest economic class who go to University increased from 12 per cent in 2005 to 18 per cent in 2010, but the corresponding rise for students from richest economic class was only from 52 per cent in 2005 to 55

formers who are undecided about University say that the increased fees are the cause for their reluctance to apply. More worryingly, one third of the undecided students stated that they could not comprehend the student loan system. Another study conducted by the Institute of Fiscal Studies, evaluating the newly introduced National Scholarship program, also seems to share these concerns, stating that “It is often very difficult for a student to work out how much total support they might receive before they apply. This complexity and lack of transparency raises questions about whether the programme will encourage participation among students from poor families.”

However, these reports are not all doggedly discouraging either; the OECD report itself acknowledges that the likelihood of a poorer student from Britain getting into University is now relatively high compared to other developed countries. And the rapidly increasing rate of poorer students enrolling in University is cause for optimism as well.

The challenge, then, seems to be in ensuring that this trend of utilizing education to combat social inequality continues uninterrupted

Darius Gilani

Student social gap starts to close

in spite of the recent increase in University fees. Ensuring that the student loan process is straightforward and easily understood, making student scholarships more accessible for the disadvantaged

Monday 19th October 2012

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Politics

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9

Barack Obama: The comeback kid A

fter months of speculation and a race presented as the ‘tightest in a generation’, Barack Obama easily swept to victory beating Mitt Romney with 336 Electoral College Votes to 206. In his speech, the best in almost two years, he asked his supporters to ‘sustain that hope’ he had campaigned on four years before.

In 2008 Obama presented himself as the man to implement change. He declared that he would not use smear tactics to win the campaign, he declared he would end the War on Terror, he declared he would challenge the status quo and he spoke of the American exceptionalism that sets the country apart from others. His inauguration speech was filled with determination and praise of America as a nation and his final words, “let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations” inspired many.

White

Look at 2012 and attitudes are very different. America is facing challenges in supremacy from rising powers such as China, the War on Terror in the Middle East is still being fought – although Obama has since stopped calling it that - relations with countries such as Iran are tenser and Obamacare is facing huge criticism and protest. Obama’s campaign changed as well with adverts raising questions about possible tax evasion

“

The next four years offer a distinct opportunity for Obama.”

and Romney’s history. It seems as if much of what Obama stood for four years ago has fizzled out.

Or has it? Have the failures to implement radical change been the fault of Obama and has he given up on all that he stood for? It would be foolish to rule him out. America is difficult to crack. Its sharp division of powers often means domestic policies are

Democratic - 39% Republican - 59% Other - 2%

How they voted

Democratic - 71% Republican - 21% Other - 3%

Latino

slow to implement and push through, its vocal and impatient public are often quick to criticize, and the America that Obama inherited was not in good health. Much of what Obama is trying to implement goes against deep-rooted discourse in America, and combined with a divided Congress, House of Representatives and White House, Obama is severely constrained by America itself.

The next four years, however, offer a distinct opportunity for Obama.

The second administration of any President is always different to the first. This is due to the fact that the President no longer has to worry about maintaining votes to win the next election and can push forwardwith implementing the key policies they introduced in the first administration. So far we have heard much political rhetoric from Obama but very little political action – is this set to change?

If you look at the administrations of George W Bush, the second administration was more moderate behind closed doors than the first. This has been attributed to the fact that Bush recognized in his first administration that being tough on terror was a vote winner whilst in the second administration there was appar-

The White House

bathimpact’s Sarah Aston looks at Obama’s decisive victory over Romney and what we can expect from the next four years.

Obama can celebrate for one day, but it will get tougher ent recognition of the failures of U.S foreign policy.

Obama has the opportunity to push forward and push for change once more. What is needed is not the politely cool President from 2008 but a determined one. Bill Clinton has called Obama “cool on the outside but burning for America on the inside” but what we need to see now

is that burning on the outside. The next four years could see this change.

Indeed, his campaign was different so might we hope for a more active administration? America has voted, Obama’s future has been decided, what America needs now is, to quote an old American favorite, “a little less conversation, a little more action please”

Minority report Nick West bathimpact Writer Dick Morris, a prominent Republican pundit, recently had egg on his face after predicting a Romney landslide. He tried to maintain his dignity as he said the following: “The key reason for my bum prediction is that I mistakenly believed that the 2008 surge in black, Latino, and young voter turnout would recede in 2012 to “normal” levels.

Didn’t happen. These high levels of minority and young voter participation are here to stay. And, with them, a permanent reshaping of our nation’s politics.”

Indeed. The minorities didn’t just vote for Obama in 2008 and then return to their fetid swamps or home planet or wherever it is the Latinos and African-Americans come from in Dick Morris’s little world. They continue to live in America and they carried a decisive weight in this election; indeed Obama led Romney by 94 points to 0 in August in polls of African-Americans. Bill O’Reilly de-

plored the fact that “the white establishment is now the minority”.

However there is a large disconnect between the number of Americans who make up that minority and those who are eligible to vote. At the time of the vote 44 in every hundred Hispanic

“

Unless they diversify [the GOP] won’t be re-elected”

residents of the US were eligible to vote, compared to the 78 per cent enjoyed by white residents.

In 2008, the minority vote pushed Obama past the tipping point in 8 states and was a considerable force in three others. Considering only his performance amongst white voters, Obama would have only won 213 Electoral College votes.

Latinos are the fastest growing minority in the US, making up 16% of the US population, and voted overwhelm-

ingly for Obama (71% to 27%).

The simple reason for this is that the GOP was never able to connect with this portion of the electorate, despite the fact that those from immigrant communities tend to be far more right-wing than others in the same area. Obama reached out to them and promised immigration reform in the second term, whereas Romney declared that the controversial Arizona immigration law was the model for the nation, that he would veto the DREAM act, and that he would support a policy of self-deportation.

Said Obama “Should I win a second term, a big reason [will be] because the Republican nominee and Republican Party have so alienated...

Latino community.”

The GOP has a strong image of old, rich, white men. It is nothing but toxic in trying to gain the minority vote and unless they diversify, unless they support policies supporting minorities rather than harming them, they will not be re-elected.

10

Monday 19th November 2012

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Politics

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How Cameron ruined my Sunday

Simon Rushton explains how David Cameron is ruining Formula One WEF

P

icture, if you will, a lowly Formula One correspondent browsing the internet casually one Sunday morning whilst waiting for the highlights of the morning’s race to be shown on BBC One. Since I’ve been caught out many a time by accidently clicking on a news website or catching it on the radio, I was extra careful in not finding out who won the race.

However I slipped up and the race results were there right in front of me and there was nothing I could do; watching the highlights just weren’t going to be the same. So why is David Cameron’s fault?

Cast your minds back to 2011 when it was announced that the BBC couldn’t afford to broadcast all the races. It was agreed that all would henceforth be shown on Sky with half shown live on the BBC and the rest highlighted. As a student it may shock you to hear that I don’t have Sky, let alone Sky Sports, here in Bath, so this deal did annoy me and many others.

We will have to cast our minds further back once again, this time to the 11th of May 2010, coincidentally my 19th birthday. This was the fateful day that David Cameron clawed his way into number 10 Downing Street.

Cast your minds back further,

tertainment would have to fork out for Sky, thus paying back News International.

Then the beautiful relationship between Mr Cameron and News International was blown on to the rocks with a little thing called ‘The Leverson Enquiry’ and suddenly News International didn’t look so good. As Mr Cameron is a politician and not employed within the media sector this is not a problem. Except, the problem is that he happens to

“

The real prize was getting the competition commission”

David Cameron has been accused of having less than reputable friends within the media for the final time I promise, to the 30th of September 2009 and The Sun’s infamous headline “Labour’s Lost It”. Now let’s head back to the current day and link all the seemingly random comments above into one coherent point.

The Sun and the remainder of News International’s media outlets started supporting the Conservative Party and, in doing so, influenced the masses in the run up to the 2010 election. This should have made the election campaign a walk

in the park for the Conservatives leading to a landslide victory but, as we all know, it didn’t. Still, to all intents and purposes, ‘Dave’ won the general election, despite needing the Liberal MPs to help vote through the more contentious Tory issues.

After the election News International were probably very happy that their man had won and were waiting with bated breath for the thanks to come their way. Somehow a thank you letter doesn’t cut

it. The real prize at stake was getting the competition commission off their back in order to let them take control of BSkyB. Whilst Mr Cameron was working on this, he gave the television section of News International a little present by freezing the licence fee and spending part of it elsewhere than the BBC. This meant the working capital of the BBC would be lower and they’d have to cut costs and thus the quality of programming would dip. Therefore people wanting en-

have employed a former News International employee and was in regular contact with another, using her horse on at least one occasion.

In the mean time the BBC still had to take a cut in government funding and thus had to reduce their Formula One, which meant that I had to sit down and watch the highlights of a race where I knew who had won. Thus ruining my lunchtime and for this I thank one man and a few of his friends: Ladies and Gentlemen the RT Hon David Cameron MP.

Forced out and with nowhere to go I

magine this scenario: you’re quietly sat in your house – the house you’ve lived in your entire life – when you receive a document from the government that you don’t necessarily understand. It’s maybe not the best house, but it’s yours. The document you’ve received is unclear, lacking in detail, and most confusingly is in a language you don’t understand.

So, as such; you ignore it. A few weeks later, some bulldozers show up in your neighbourhood, and the men operating them tell you that they’re there to knock your house down, and you’d be advised to clear the area. You can argue, but it’s going to be done either way. What they replace your house with is a luxury building to make the area look pretty, and make the whole thing extortionately priced. The government offers to let you live in it, but you can’t afford it. So where do you live?

The situation sounds far-fetched – but it is in fact a reality for thousands of people across the globe. This is an example of a forced eviction, and

something that Amnesty International are trying to combat and campaign against, alongside a host of other issues. The facts are as follows: every year, hundreds of thousands of people are forced out off their own land, out of their own homes, and the disruption can be detrimental. One such example in Sulukule, an area of the Turkish Fatih district, saw people forced out of

“

The evictions are often violent and without prior notice”

the homes they’d been living for their entire lives, in a neighbourhood they and their families had been in for generations. After the destruction of their homes, they were given the choice of alternative accommodation – however the new buildings were both too expensive for them to continue to live in, as well as too far out of the city for them to be able to comfortably find work if they found that they were una-

ble to pay for the extensive travel costs.

However, this isn’t a phenomena exclusive to Sulukule; in the Mukuru kwa Njenga slum (east of Nairobi) in Kenya, an entire area was demolished just this year, with houses being flattened by bulldozers without prior warning to the residents from the government. Three people were killed in the destruction, with another being shot outside of their own home after the police opened fire on the crowds.

Other examples of mass, forced evictions have happened in China, Serbia, Nigeria, and even within the UK. The evictions are often violent and without prior notice, despite the fact that they are strictly meant to be used as a last resort. The main people affected by them are the poor and otherwise marginalised sections of a society, with women being affected more so than men – all in the name of development.

They take place despite the fact that the right to adequate housing has been a recognised right since 1948, including the right to security, peace, dignity, and the right to protection from forced evictions.

In the face of this, Amnesty Inter-

national have chosen to campaign and spread word of the happenings. Amnesty International will be holding a stunt to raise awareness on campus;

details will be announced shortly.

Please get involved.

Support the campaign at www.amnesty.org.uk/slums

FrancoFolini

Helen Edworthy bathimpact Writer

The forced evictees often have nowhere to turn but the streets

Monday 19th November 2012

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Business

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W

“

This sort of culture is embarrassing to ordinary Greeks”

Spanish, Italian and German citizens. However, the difference with the governments of these citizens is that they attempted to confront the matter immediately. In Greece however, the Finance Minister apparently gave the CD, containing the names, to two heads of the financial police who were incompetent enough to allow the CD to disappear.

It is clear that this sort of culture is embarrassing and more importantly an insult to ordinary Greeks who are having to endure austerity that makes George Osborne’s plans look like those of a saint. It is estimated that tax evasion costs Greece €30bn each year, which is equivalent to 15 per cent of their national output. Greece certainly lived beyond its means prior to the financial crisis; however a tougher line on tax evasion would surely have meant Greece would have been better placed to balance its books.

But that does not matter an awful lot now; the reality is that Greece’s economy remains in a precarious position as it enters a sixth year of recession. With public debt currently over 165 per cent and increasing, Greece needs to get its public finances in order, but it is vital that this is done in the fairest way possible to Greek citizens. So far they have had to gulp down deep cuts to public sector programs and entitlements, and see unemployment approach 25 percent; it is also not uncommon for those who are employed to have delays in receiving their wages.

Therefore in order to ease the pain of ordinary Greeks and to help with its radical deficit reduction plans, the Greek government urgently needs to tackle the issue of tax evasion by cracking down on current evaders and creating a framework that actively aims to severely discourage it. odysseagr

Aran Gnana Senior Business Correspondent hilst the likes of Starbucks, Google and Amazon are being scrutinised both in public and in Parliament for their alleged tax avoidance activities in Britain, it seems that Greek tax evaders receive minimal attention from their government in comparison.

Costos Vaxevanis, a Greek investigative journalist, was recently tried in court for publishing the names of 2000 Greek citizens whom had set up Swiss bank accounts for the sole purpose of tax evasion. Although Mr Vaxevanis was rightfully acquitted

for what was deemed to be in the public interest, the fact that he was tried in court gives an idea of the culture that Greece has nurtured with regard to tax evasion. And let’s just clear this up, tax avoidance (which Starbucks have been accused of) is legal, it’s just regarded to be immoral as obscure loopholes are taken advantage of, but tax evasion is illegal, making the matter worse for Greece.

The list that was obtained by Mr Vaxevanis actually came to light a lot earlier. In 2010, Christine Lagarde, then the French Finance Minister (now Managing Director of the IMF), sent a list of the names to the then Greek Finance Minister, George Papaconstantinou. The total list of names was not restricted to Greeks; there were also French,

Protests against austerity measures have erupted all across Greece

Sophie Esslemont bathimpact Writer Austerity causes all kinds of emotions to come out of us. Shame that we can’t afford the stuff we used to be able to. Pity for those far worse off than us. And, for some, anger that they don’t have a job, whilst the people who have only just arrived in our country do.

The tabloids have led many of us to believe that migration to this country is an endemic problem threatening the livelihood of every single white, English Christian. They are sucking the blood of the British economy by claiming welfare and forcing us to leave our culture behind by demanding councils to pull down Christmas lights.

Whilst this kind of sensationalism may be enough for some to sign up to the BNP, the more sane amongst us should look at the facts.

Immigration figures are high.

Net migration in 2011 came to about 200,000 new people moving to the UK. This is double government targets. But why are we do keen to curb people entering the UK? There is, naturally the fear, that with 2.51 million unemployed, the immigrants really will come in and ‘steal our jobs’. It’s a simplistic idea which contradicts every notion of the benefits of freedom of movement and one we should quickly dismiss. Competition is outstanding for business and if having better, more dedicated workers in the country helps us pull

Migration frustration out of the recession then so be it.

We must also address the Daily Mail-esque accusations that immigrants naturally damage the economy. This couldn’t be more wrong. For every 1 per cent growth in migrants, our economy is estimated to expand by 1.5 per cent. A House of Commons Select Committee report stated that, through taxation and National Insurance, migrants tend to put far more into our services such as the NHS and welfare than they take out.

Of course there are things to get angry about; the Islamic clerics who come here and complain about our system whilst benefiting from it. But I say embrace the culture, embrace the good they do and embrace immigration, because it is here to stay!

Economics of...

Prostitution

I

have, in the past, had my fair share of encounters with ladies of the night. One particular story involves being seduced unknowingly by a prostitute on a beach, whereby I was commanded to take off my clothes, which were hastily pickpocketed by her cronies, before finding out, mere moments before the fun could begin, that I would have to pay afterwards. Another involved accidentally requesting with my poor Spanish a ‘happy ending’ at a masseuse, something I only realised as she stuck her finger in my anus. Needless to say, hookers are everywhere.

Humans need two things: food and water, but sex is something we want, which places prostitution into that elusive bracket of a luxury: products we desire, but which are ultimately not necessary to our existence. Whores come in all shapes and sizes; high-class, street-class, fat, thin, exotic, local. All the niches are there for the sexually-deprived and emotionally needy. Prostitution is perhaps the oldest occupation in the world and is still booming today. Prices can range from the $10 demanded for a blow-job by my Latina masseuse to the £300 an hour charged by high-class call-girls in London. However, like many jobs, the EU’s migrant laws have seen an influx of Eastern Europeans doing the same job for a cheaper price.

We have been afforded very few glimpses into the industry, but my favourite by far is “An Empirical Analysis of Street-Level Prostitution” by the University of Chicago. I won’t question their data gathering, but my favourite statistic was that

for every ‘trick’ a hooker performed without the aid of a pimp, they received roughly 50 per cent less pay than if they had utilised their pimp.

Why? Perhaps because pimps are able to ensure the best for their customers, but can only do this through better benefits for their employees. The better the pay, the better you work.

They can also do things like pay for advertising, ensure customers actually give up the money and keep the prostitutes clean (both in terms of drugs and diseases). Brothels are famous for providing better services and, inevitably, it is better to have a healthy hooker than a heroin-addict hooker. Needless to say the pimps’ bad reputation is there for a reason and in some areas of society, they are just plain cruel.

Like marijuana before it, tough laws against prostitution have dragged it deep into the seedy world of organised crime linked with disease and drugs. The Economist argues that “criminalisation forces prostitution into the underworld” and where it is legal the worst effects of it have – at the very least – been softened. Its enforcement is costly; prostitution cost New York City $23m a year in 1990’s. In the UK there are around 80,000 prostitutes, almost the size of the population of Bath, and realistically unenforcable.

Sex as a product is inevitably a contentious issue, but we can’t be presumptive about it as an issue.

Economically, its legal status makes little sense. Legalising it can only make it a more profitable, safer industry and me a far more satisfied human being.

Caleb Wheeler-Robinson

Get a grip, Greece

11

Prostitution has its dark side, but should it be illegal?

12

Monday 19th November 2012

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The cost of American democracy Vishala Ramswami talks about the cost of elections across the world

T

he current economic outlook in the United States might not be entirely cheering, but there is at least one industry that has prospered thanks to the Presidential Elections of 2012; the recently concluded election has been the most expensive of all time, with an estimated total spending of £3.7 billion. To put this staggering figure in perspective, the 2010 general election in the UK cost a comparatively paltry £31 million.

In 2010, the United States government made two landmark judicial decisions that significantly altered the financial landscape of the Presidential Elections, and marked the advent of a new breed of political committee: the Super PAC. Super PACs are not allowed to directly contribute to the campaigns of any presidential candidate, but there is no limit on their independent political spending. These committees raised close to £220 million in funds for the 2012 Presidential Elections, with a majority of this amount coming from a mere one hundred contributors.

Doubtlessly, this is the sort of thing that Canadian MP Pat Martin had in mind when he commented that “big money has bastardised democracy in the United States”. “I thank God every day that we live in this egalitarian society where a guy like me, a carpenter,

can aspire to be a member of Parliament because our spending limits are $70,000,” he went on to add.

However, strict laws regarding election spending do not necessarily result in a more equal and egalitarian society. In spite of the fact that per capita spending for the US presidential elections is an astounding 23 times as high as that for the UK general elections, inequality is a far more acute problem in Britain than in America, with the most recent OECD survey indicating

“

Strict laws...do not always result in a more equal society”

that Britain has ‘the worst social mobility in the developed world’.

And despite the Representation of the People Act 1983 imposing strict limits on the election expenses of British MPs, the playing field does not seem to be leveled in the least. 35 per cent of current MPs were educated at independent schools, with a staggering 20 per cent of the parliament being composed of former Etonians (Eton is an elite boarding school that charges £10,689 per term); in contrast, only 7 per cent of the general population have

been independently schooled.

Whilst the evidence linking stringently regulated election spending to better social equality is nebulous at best, the evidence against flagrant election expenditure on accounts of ineffectiveness is damning. Despite the record spending on the elections in the USA this year, the political allegiances of the country remain virtually unchanged with all of two states and three seats in the senate swapping loyalties from the Democratic Party to the Republican party.

Indeed, the main effect of the increased election spending in the USA seems to be the creation of a markedly more venomous political climate. The newly established Super PACs, for instance, have been spending a very large portion of their funds on ‘attack ads’ which aim to insult and pull down a specific candidate without contributing any useful information to the debate.

Seeing that Britain’s harshly austere election spending regulations do not go very far in achieving the social equality that they aim for, and that the extravagant spending in the United States does not have a particularly powerful effect on the population’s political affiliations, the answer to the election spending question seems to be in finding the middle ground.

UK = 0.50p Canada = £5.00 US = £12.00

Spending on elections per person capita in the U.S., UK, and Canada

Should we stay or should we go?

O

those politicians, serving in the European Parliament from 1999 to 2004, and before that working for the European Commission (EC) as a policy adviser. He is thus very much in favour of the European integration experiment and on top of that holds sway over a sizeable tranche of like-minded Liberal Democrat MPs. Herein resides Cameron’s dilemma; he must appease both the eurosceptics and the europhiles when he goes to negotiate over the MFF.

Cleverly (and perhaps justly), he has chosen to contrast the budget increase requested by the EC with austerity measures in member states, making the point that European spending should not be increasing whilst national budgets contract. He claims that the EC’s proposals will cost an extra hundred billion euros over the 7 years – this would amount to a much faster year on year increase than previous budgets in percentage terms. The EC counters that much

WEF

Tom Ash bathimpact Writer ne can’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy for David Cameron. For years Conservative politicians have rattled sabres and gnashed teeth at the prospect of hastening European integration with its consequences, real and imagined, for national sovereignty and financial contributions. And now, at last, they feel their glorious leader is in a position to do something about it. Talks are taking place in the coming weeks to determine the EU’s Multiannual Financial Framework (MFF) for 201420; Eurosceptic MPs are thus ratcheting up the pressure on the Prime Minister to take advantage of these meetings to stand his ground and show his continental counterparts exactly who wears the trousers in this sometimes troubled relationship.

No problem then, DC has always gone on about the need to renegotiate Britain’s role in the EU and tear something back from the pen-pushing Brussels politicians, right? Wrong.

Because unfortunately for the current tenant of No 10, his second-in-command Nick Clegg was himself one of

of the increase will be covered by ‘own funding’ – money raised by the EU itself. Specifically, two sources of revenue have been mentioned; a European VAT levy of 1 per cent; and a financial transactions tax (FTT). Nevertheless, it will be the economies of the member states which will have to bear these surcharges.

Cameron will likely recognise, if he has not done so already, that both levies would spell trouble for Britain, even if most other European leaders would be in favour of a worldwide FTT. British VAT is already high at 20

“

Both levies would probably spell trouble for Britain”

A match made in hell: both have different visions for Europe

per cent and, as it is a regressive tax, a further increase would put more pressure on low income families. Moreover, the proposed FTT, if not globally applied, could serve to drive investment away from the City of London; this is the stuff that makes Dave wake up in a cold sweat at night. Thus he is

arguing for a freeze on the European budget, a move he hopes will appease, his backbench Tories (those he can’t have shipped off to Australia that is – ie. Nadine Dorries), and relying on the emotive austerity argument to sway public opinion and prevent the Liberal Democrats from grumbling too much. He is, he says, prepared to use the UK’s veto which would simply see the 2013 budget rolled over with a 2 per cent increase. As talks over said budget have recently collapsed, there is likely to be some sympathy for his position at a European level; nevertheless, the likelihood is that the veto will have to be used.

The great irony of all this is that the EC’s proposed increase in the budget is to tackle its new agenda of investing in transport and energy, research and education and securing Europe’s external borders from illegal immigration. These are all issues which Cameron himself cares passionately about, and other European leaders know it.

Thus he must also balance the risk of losing political capital internationally if he is seen to dig his heels in on principle, even if Britain might be able to gain from the policies being discussed.

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Monday 19th November 2012

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Italy: eat to live and not live to eat This week we focus on food as Scarlett Clark talks about Italian cuisine or complex processes, Italians choose instead to use the best fresh ingredients they can find – meaning what’s in season and available locally.

Most of the more traditional dishes are what we call evolution of the poorer cuisine, inventive driven by needs that over time have become the cornerstone of

one of the most renowned cuisines in the world, one that uses only the best and freshest natural ingredients. In Britain we have become accustomed to the cheap prices and we are attracted to the idea of ready meals, already prepared meals do not exist in Italy!

Fresh fruit is turned out as soon as the expiry date approaches, maybe this could easily be argued

as a motif for the economic crisis.

As mentioned above, Italian food is very regional. There are special dishes that are unique to one town or a small collection of nearby towns that you can’t find anywhere else. Each Italian region has its own speciality. Every summer on the 18th August in my minuscule hometown San Ginesio we celebrate the festival of the potato pasta; gnocchi. The community queues whilst the women behind a long stall prepare the gnocchi right in front of our eyes.

And such an exercise would be pointless, anyway, because someone else has already done it.

Italians, Spanish and French seem to have a skill in appreciating the culinary art, inviting each and every bite to coat every corner of your mouth. The eating process in these European countries is long, relaxed and spread over a couple of hours. It puts me to shame as I am usually seen running for my bus with Starbuck’s finest English tea and muffin. At

Ben Butcher bathimpact Features Editor “I think that one ought to do, the one with the white patch on it’s head.” I say to my waiter. “Excellent choice; it will be ready by dinner”.

The choice is shameful, but a necessity apparantly. You simply can’t visit the Northern part of South America without trying cuy, or in layman’s terms: ‘guinea-pig’. I return for dinner to find a pitiful sight: a streched out carcass, teeth-bearing, fried to a crisp, staring at me. I sigh and take a bite.

It’s a taste of chicken-like pork, a rich blend of spices and just a little bit of guilt for my late pet Hercules.

The tradition of eating guinea-pig dates way back to Inca period, a speciality saved for ceremony. It is, however, only a portion of the diet reserved for two countries in particular: Ecuador and Peru.

The cuisine of these two countries may not have had the culinary revolution that a lot of European or Asian food has had, but it’s simplicity and originality remain part of it’s charm.

As you would expect in a developing country, rice and beans remain a staple of the diet as well as fried plantain and yuca.

The world is catching on though; cerviche, fish cooked in lemon juice, has been picked up by seafood lovers and developed into a gourmet plate. I have only heard rave reviews of Cerviche in Soho. It will be a long time, however, until restauraunts offer the customer a choice of household pet or serve soup with popcorn, but why don’t you try it yourself!

“

I found it difficult to comprehend the beauty of Italian coffee”

the beginning, I found to difficult to comprehend the beauty of an Italian coffee. Every Sunday I would see the Italian gentleman enjoy this cup of coffee in such a stylish manner they ooze over their beverage, nothing is in-

stant in Italy. From the coffee to the culture, perhaps this is a hint for us Brits to at least appreciate our food more, because no doubt quality over quantity is necessary but let’s face it – who could take our roast dinners away from us? avlxyz

M

angiare per vivere e non vivere per mangiare Italian proverb Eat to live and not live to eat.

“Less is more” is a mantra that concerns most aspects of my life from make up to the amount of jewellery I wear but I cannot deny that I love to eat and being told in Italy that less is more regarding food was a somewhat tragic statement to hear.

I love a grand roast dinner with all the trimmings but when attempting to offer this to my Italian friends it was a fail to say the very least. Italians aren't fond of complicated sauces, elaborate dressings or preparations that mask the true flavour of their dishes. Perhaps the thing that makes Italian food so appealing all over the world, both to those who eat it and those who make it is the simplicity of the recipes.

There is an old saying that every great Italian dish has only three ingredients, instead of complex combinations of ingredients

Cooking is an art, and it is one the Italians have mastered

PhillieCasablanca

Guinea-pig with chips Pain fraîche

Cuy with a side of potatoes and salad, Ecuador and Peru also serve soup with popcorn

Ailbhe Rees bathimpact Writer I went to France expecting many things. The kisses on each cheek; the wine; the brusque manner; but mainly, I would be content with good food.

The land that produced Michel Roux, (and Jr.), Raymond Blanc, Alain Ducasse, cassoulet, that lives off wine and cheese and reveres the baguette above all else could only produce good food.

The French revere their food; meals are a ceremony, not a time to refuel. Time and care goes into their preparation, usually keeping strictly to French roots. Debate, vital to French political participation, takes place à table. Courses are served slowly, with long conversation-filled gaps between them. There is rarely anything left on the plate - a slice of baguette is used to clean the plate.

Lunch, for instance, is the main meal of the day, and the lunch break is long. While many British secondary schools have half an hour for lunch, the French take 60-90 minutes. Every day. The canteen serves a three-course meal, which the vast majority eat. Most shops and some supermarkets close completely for the sacred ritual of lunch. Even some cafés, on occasion.

The French love and revere their food. In France, supermarkets sell sliced white bread as ‘American

bread’, and France’s youth are more than happy to eat it. Ask anyone over the age of 30 for their thoughts: “that is not bread”.

In Strasbourg, where I was fortunate enough to live for 7 months of last year, there are many bakeries, most of which are very good (by British standards) and you learn quickly which are worth a second visit, even during ‘rush hour’ (6pm).

I had friends living on the other side of town, and was informed that the best bakery in Strasbourg was over there. Doubtful, I ‘meant to go’ for months, until bizarrely, one (very cold) Sunday morning, I took fancy to the idea.

Au pain de mon Grand Père, 58, rue de la Krutenau, is the best bakery in Strasbourg. Possibly even France.

People queue outside this bakery in temperatures of -10ºC to catch baguettes fresh from the oven on a Sunday morning. The bakeries around it don’t stand a chance, and don’t even open on Sundays. Their baguette is so very good, especially served fresh from the oven, that really, there can be no competition.

After my first visit, Sunday mornings turned into a bit of a ritual, and all manner of croissants and treats were purchased in due course, enjoyed with a cup of café noir, some good beurre, confiture and excellent company.

Monday 19th November 2012

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World

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Cenfigen ein Cymdogion Saesneg?

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eth, celfyddyd nag adloniant. Nid oes iddynt pensaernïaeth, na thraddodiad arlwyol na llenyddiaeth teilwng yr enw” Yn amlwg, dyw A.N. Wilson heb gymryd Cymraeg Llên TGAU, na chwaith byth cael picau’r maen nag ymweld â Chanolfan Mileniwm Cymru yn ei fywyd.

Ond, doedd yn syndodi ddarganfod pwy oedd y twpsyn twp, y cythraul ystyfnig sy’n fwyaf hoff o ffrydio rheithreg gwrth-Gymraeg hyd a lled y gwlad – yr estrongaswr ei hun, Jeremy Clarkson. Yn adnabyddus am ei sylwadau senoffobig, barn y cyflwynydd yw ei fod yn “hollol annheg y caiff rhai eu geni yn dew neu’n hyll neu’n ddyslecsig neu’n anabl neu’n sinsir neu’n fyr neu’n Gymraeg. Yn flin, mae bywyd yn trasig.” Geiriau doeth, yn wir. “Yn fy marn i, mae’r amser yn agosáu pryd y dylai’r Cenhedloedd Unedig feddwl yn ddifrifol am ddiddymu ieithoedd eraill. Beth yw pwynt Cymraeg? Ei unig bwrpas yw darparu bedwen Fai wirion y gall torf o benboethion fod yn genedlaetholgar o’i cwmpas” Huawdl, yn siwr. Ond yn dod o ddyn sy’n defnyddio Saesneg er mwyn amarch ac amharchu? Mae bodolaeth iaith er mwyn mynegi gwladgariad yn ymddangos yn weddol cymeradwy, heb sôn am y ffaith y ddaw’r dyfyniad yma o bapur The Sun, ffynhonnell hollol parchus ac edmygus o fri! I ragori’r cyfan, daeth Mr Clarkson â rygbi i’r brig wrth sôn am fuddugoliaeth Cymru yng Nghwpan y 6 Wlad,

yn ogystal â methiant y Ffrancwyr i’n curo: “Fedrwch chi byth ymddiried yn y Ffrancwyr… …chwarae dwli am 80 munud fe wnaethon nhw, heb feddwl fydd rhaid inni wario’r flwyddyn nesa yn gwrando i’r ‘sheepsters’ yn grwnan am eu rhagoriaeth a gallu

naturiol. Rho Grand Slam iddynt, ac mi gaiff ein hafotai i gyd eu rhoi ar dân.” Colledwr blin yn fy marn i, yn enwedig wrth ystyried y ffaith fe gymerodd fap plastig o Gymru a’i losgi mewn meicrodon o flaen cynulleidfa cymeradwyol.

Felly, fedrwn ein cysuro’n y ffaith does un o’r penboethion gwrthGymraeg yn cael effaith syfrdanol ar fywyd yma yng Nghymru, hyd yn oed os mai cynrychioli barn y mwyafrif Saeson ydynt. Wedi’r cyfan, mae na glawdd yna am reswm, yn does?

WelshSoc

Joe Dixey bathimpact Awdur eth mae’r Saeson wir yn meddwl am y Cymry. Ar yr olwg gynta, mae’r ’casineb’ tuag at y Cymry (a elwir yn ‘Gymroffobia’) o’n cymdogion ar ochr arall Clawdd Offa yn hollol arwynebol – yn bennaf, gwneud hwyl am bennau’r ‘sheepshaggers’! Er hyn, wrth wneud ychydig o ymchwil i ‘wahaniaethau diwylliannol rhwng y Cymry a’r Saeson’ ar Wicipedia, caiff dyfnderoedd fwy sinistr y perthynas yma eu hamlygu… dyma amryw o ddyfyniadau dwi’n teimlo’n bersonol sy’n cyfleu gwiriondeb ac anwybodaeth y Saeson tuag atom – dwi’n credu mai’n genfigennus ydynt, wedi’r cyfan!

Yn gyntaf, cawn ein beirniadu gan Gymro, os fedrwn ei alw felly, yn trigo’n Llundain ac yn golofnydd am yr anhygoel Daily Mail: “Dwi’n casáu’r iaith mwnci ofnadwy a marwaidd yn bersonol, sydd heb gael ferf newydd ers y Canol Oesoedd…” Os taw iaith mwnci yw iaith y Cymry, ac y ganwyd awdur y dyfyniad hwn – y parchedig Roger Lewis – yng Nghymru, ai mwnci yw e’n galw ei hunan tybed? Llwydodd Rod Liddle o bapur The Spectator i’n disgrifio fel “brynllwythi truenus â wynebau pigfain sy’n cnoi gwymon a phoeni defaid,” oll tra’n galw am ddiwedd S4C. Ffefryn yn enwedig oedd y dyfyniad: “Nid yw’r Cymry byth wedi cyfrannu’n arywddocaol at wyboda-

Cymru soc yn enghraifft o gymuned Gymraeg gref yn Bath. Edrychwch faint o hwyl y maent yn eu cael.

Andika Skriva пиша Write 创作 Escribir

bathimpact wants writers from all over the world.

Get in touch. impact-features@bath.ac.uk

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Monday 19th November 2012

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Science

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Prof. Science: you are what you eat The Prof. answers the age-old question of how much we can eat

I

was recently asked by an idiot non-savant how much food he would have to eat to die. I shall break down this rather topical question into constituent parts.

It’s topical because I’m assuming at least most of us eat. I don’t, but I underwent cyborgation in order to increase my science.

An easy first question leading from the above enquiry is how much food can a human stomach hold. For an average human the answer is up to around 4 litres.

Obviously if you are a bigger person then you are probably going to have a bigger tummy but let’s work with 4 litres.

This is the limit of your stomach stretching facilities. When you have eaten or drunk 1 to 1 and a half litres you will start to feel so full it hurts. Now essentially triple that and you have the point of no return where your tummy can no longer fit it all in and is in danger of rupturing.

Now, if you have ever been lucky enough to have been on “tour” with a team of sports you will have observed the alpha male sexual rite (I’m not sure about this – I have only observed from a distance) of

drinking lots of things. Sometimes these things are alcoholic and people vomit. Sometimes these things are non-alcoholic and people vomit. That is because in the average person when you get to a certain point of full your stomach muscles (the ones that completely surround your stomach) will give up on you, squeeze hard and cause you to get rid of the contents of the stomach before you cause yourself harm.

However, some people who

“

The average human [has a stomach] of around 4 litres.”

gorge way too often have suppressed this natural reflex just like that nice, nude lady at the beach was stuffing “ice lollies” really far down her throat to impress those guys with the cameras. If you regularly make it beyond about 1.5 litres of consumption your stomach muscles will grow weak and lose the ability to squeeze out all of your stomach’s contents. As such medical professionals say that usu-

ally those people who manage to rupture their stomachs (it is a rare occurrence) either practice very hard to get there or have a condition that stops them from reacting normally to overeating.

The person mentioned earlier (my boss) also asked me to include in this episode how long it would take to eat a bull elephant. A large elephant has a mass of 6000 kgs. (not that much of a crazy assumption! Especially if the elephant is a large bull elephant and therefore weighs more than 6000kg!) and meat has a density of around 1kg/l therefore a bull elephant has a consumptive volume of 6000 litres.

With an average full stomach capacity of 1 litre let us assume that you would be eating as much elephant as possible 3 times a day (assuming no bad effects of bad diet and doing adequate exercise not to get tubs!) giving an estimated 500 days of elephant to eat. Close to a year and a half. Of pure elephant.

Good luck.

On a more serious note there is a hilarious affliction of the appetite named pica. Sufferers have a pathological desire to eat. Anything. Especially if it doesn’t have

any nutritional value at all – say sand. Or Cessna 150. That last one was eaten by Monsieur Mange Tout (the French aren’t very inventive) during his career of eating ridiculous things. It took him 2 years but down it went with copious amounts of oil and water. Apparently it didn’t even make any

difference to his stools when they came out the other end though I would warn that eating an entire bull elephant and nothing else probably will make a difference to your stools. They’ll be rock solid.

You will also probably die. Please leave all professor science ponderings to professionals!

Prof. Nourish has taken part in numerous eating practicals

Removing the lungs of our Earth I

“

Politicians will have to take a stronger stance on forests.”

ible that in the modern day when the importance of a mere square foot of an ecosystem is celebrated, at the same time companies are being paid huge sums of money to produce machines that will indiscriminately devastate everything in their paths.

Over the last half-century the rate of deforestation has dramatically increased, meaning that by 2011 half

of the world’s original forests were destroyed. In the last decade alone, around half of the world’s rainforests have been lost to logging for timber and paper, for grazing or crops, to clear land for mining and for hydroelectric dams. Road building through forests has revolutionised the lives of those living remotely within these forests, for good or ill, and has also made the lives of illegal loggers and poachers much easier.

The effects of deforestation are multi-leveled and hard to hold in the head all at one time, but the contribution it has towards global warming is one of the stars. It is thought by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change that deforestation may account for up to a third of humancaused carbon dioxide emissions. By one calculation it has been estimated that four years of deforestation has the same carbon footprint as all flights in the history of aviation added to all future flights until the year 2025. This is due to the loss in CO2 absorption power of the cut-down trees. This causes more carbon dioxide to remain in the atmosphere. Burning and decay of wood also releases carbon dioxide, as does the simple process of removing the tree from the ground, as it causes carbon stores in the soil

to be released. Not only do we have increased carbon dioxide remaining, we have less oxygen being produced through photosynthesis to replace it.

There is also a significant biodiversity loss that comes from deforestation, especially from the tropical rainforests that are thought to contain up to 80 per cent of the world’s biodiversity. We are undergoing a mass extinction, in many areas the incredibly diverse forested areas are being converted into monospecific

plantations. Higher estimates claim that we are losing over 130 species of plant, animal and insects every day, up to 50,000 species a year.

Some argue that for the countries that are lucky enough to still have areas of untouched rainforest, this is a resource that they both deserve and need to exploit for economic growth, however a success story that proves that this is not correct in every case is Brazil. Since 2004 deforestation has fallen by 80 percent, while simulta-

crustmania

Holly Narey Environmental Correspondent was talking to a friend, being generally annoying, questioning the morality of him working for a defence company, when he tried to change the subject by saying “we don’t just have defence contracts, we’re actually doing a project in forestry”. I looked interested. He looked sheepish. “oh,” I asked, “in what way?” “well… actually… deforestation”.

So it turns out that the spec is for a machine that will drive along, tearing down trees. Excellent. It’s incred-

Land is cleared for cattle, crops and highways.

neously their economy has grown by 40 per cent, showing a disassociation with the profits that can be found amongst the nations trees.

There are ways to dissociate industries previously considered indistinguishable from forestry; recycling has had a huge influence on the new wood required for paper for instance, and there is even an increase in the use of “woodless paper”, where waste from crops can be used in paper production.

Sustainable forestry is also used to improve environmental impacts, although converting ancient natural forests to what are essentially wood farms with constant monitoring and human interference will still have a negative influence on biodiversity.

Politicians will have to take a stronger stance on these issues, becoming tougher on illegal logging and by investing in schemes such as Forests for Climate, that offer incentives to protect forests. We must purchase things from companies whose policies you agree with, and avoiding buying from those who you do not. Things are improving, the world is more aware, but more must and will be done before we can be sure that the lungs of our earth are protected from the cancer of human short-sightedness.

Monday 19th November 2012

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Science

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An iTunes nightmare Spotlight on...

Katharine Agg bathimpact Writer ow often have you checked the travel news and only heard traffic jam, congestion or road works? Imagine if you did not have to manoeuvre yourself through the standstill traffic every morning on your way to work. The reality of being driven by your car may be closer than you think. The Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers predicts that drivers will not need a driving licence by 2040, but as with any form of new technology, people are hesitant.

Many car companies are said to believe that taking people out of controlling cars would massively increase road safety. It is estimated that 90 per cent of car accidents are caused by ‘human error’.

When seat belts, airbags and cruise control were introduced people were nervous but now we take them as the norm. It is believed, over time, public

will be perfectly comfortable with a car driving you around. Even the latest developments, self-parking, out of lane warnings and automatic breaking are slowly but surely being accepted to our roads.

The US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration published a figure that for every 100 million miles travelled on US roads there is 1.11 fatalities. As it stands at the mo-

A

and excruciatingly named “iForgot” website, on which you can enter your name, current and past email addresses and see if they recognise you. They won’t, because they only know the original email address and if you couldn’t remember it eight seconds ago you’re unlikely to remember it now in your newly enraged state of mind.

Thankfully there are alternatives, like the good old fashioned manual transfer. Or Clementine, which pretty much does all the same stuff as iTunes, and leaves your iPod smelling like oranges, presumably.

A dream or a nightmare? iTunes is brilliant, yet infuriating

Cars of the future?

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“

Are you ready to give up control of your car, to your car?”

ment the driver is always to ‘blame’ but with fully autonomous vehicle, who is to blame? As there is no driver, would it be the company who made the car, the designers of the ‘robot’?

Personally I feel that until the blame can be ‘pinned’, drivers will be un-

Freud

Ah, Freud: a man who should need no introduction. His theories on how our silly little brains work are legendary, if you’re not familiar with the terms like ‘Freudian Slip’ or ‘Oedipus complex’ then get out from the rock you’ve been living under, you nescient cretin.

Where to begin with a man like Freud? Born Sigismund Schlomo Freud (what a mouthful) in Austria, he was the oldest son of a Jewish family of eight children and allegedly his mother’s favorite (bet they all thought that). Freudy started his career in medicine for one reason. What was it you ask?

Well... Why do men do anything eh? Yup, that’s right. He did it for a girl. Initially just a poor student he fell in love with a girl called Martha Bernays, and without the funds to support a family he did the only thing he could and became a doctor.

Aside from being a medical wizard, Freud was also an octolinguist (whatever that is?!) speaking a range of languages from the expected; German and Hebrew, as well as Latin, Greek, Spanish, Italian, French and English. Couple that with a natural talent for science and you have a real renaissance man.

Sadly for him, Siggie managed to develop a number of delightful habits, the most controversial one being cocaine (and all this from a doctor eh?) However not only was Freud a

user, he was also an advocator which had dramatic repercussions on his medical career when the addictive and harmful side effects of cocaine became public knowledge.

Oddly enough this wasn’t the vice that would eventually lead to his downfall - Freud was also a chronic smoker, who often worked his way through a whopping twenty cigars a day. Unsurprisingly, this eventually led to him developing a form of mouth cancer. Sigmund sought advice from dermatologist Maximilian Steiner who lied to him about the growths severity, merely advising that Freud quit smoking. Freud did not. Eventually his friend Felix Deutsch also diagnosed the growth, once again telling him to stop smoking, but also to have the growth removed.

Freud still continued to smoke, but did have the growth removed.

However over time the growth began to regrow, but when Deutsch saw this he refrained from telling Freud it was cancer again in fears he would commit suicide. Instead letting the tumour reach an inoperable size, a fantastic friend on all accounts you might think. Eventually the pain it was causing for Sigmund and at his bequest was given enough morphine to end his time on this mortal coil.

The bitter irony is that such a man of medicine died because he was unable to take medical advice. The lesson? Do as doctors say, not as they do, okay?

comfortable traveling in one of these cars, or even on the same road as one.

Bryant Walker Smith, of Stanford Law School, believes that unless 3oo million miles of driving without a fatal incident occurs, fully autonomous cars will not be accepted as much safer than man controlled machines.

There is concern as aired by Peter Rodger, head of driving standards at the Institute of Advanced Motorists, as to whether driving enthusiasts (you know the kind I mean, those who name their car, dedicate the weekends to detailing their car, washing it and extra time with a chamois cloth and car magazines carpeting their house) would not want to lose the ‘emotional attachment that comes with controlling a machine.’ But will it be enough to slow down the evolution?

So the big question is, are you ready to give up control of your car, to your car?

As BMW said in their 2006 advert ‘’it’s only a car’’

In our issue dated 8th October 2012 in the article ‘Bath’s very own Prof. ‘Dark’ Knight’ there were numerous factual inaccuracies. You can find an updated copy online at bathimpact.tumblr

mansionwb

way it should choose when it realises what you’ve been using Google Chrome’s incognito mode for, iTunes will immediately proceed to hate you. All of the music you downloaded, those show-tunes that only you and your iTunes ever knew you listened to 247 times, exists only on the servers of Apple headquarters.

Obviously, the means are there to get your property back, but you will have to know the email address and password that you entered the day you first signed up, which was likely years ago.

Apple do provide the convenient

joewhk

Alex Philpotts bathimpact Writer pple, and its gradually expanding multi-coloured range of iProducts, is worth more than the entirety of the gold in the United States Federal Reserve.

It’s also worth more than the United States aircraft carrier fleet, twice the Apollo Space Program or all of the illegal drugs on the planet. Oh, and the GDP of Denmark. They’ve got a monopoly on trendy. So when you bear in mind that every iPhone, iPod, iPad and MacBook comes with their very own i-endorsed software, it’s a little disappointing that iTunes still never bloody works.

As any decent ultra-rich megacompany should, Apple provides its customers with an easily accessible and simple way to download music at inflated prices. Having taken your money, said music will quickly appear in your library for instant use.

Lovely. The problem is, you’re not actually buying a song as such. I imagine Simon Cowell would be fairly pissed if he were to inject x-million into producing an album, only for a random member of the public to buy it off him for £5.99. You’re actually buying the right to listen to the music whenever you feel like it.

Surely though, it makes no difference if the music ends up on you’re iPod anyway? ‘Fraid not.

In the unfortunate event that your computer should crash, implode, or destroy itself in whatever

Freud: Renaissance man and cocaine addict

Monday 19th November 2012

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Activities

www.bathimpact.com

Diwali and Eid celebrated with meal bathimpact writes about their experiences at the Bath University Asian Student Society celebrations of the Muslim and Hindu festivals works, “much like your bonfire night”.

It is slightly more difficult to get a straight answer about Eid, but a handsome man in black tie gives it his best shot. Unfortunately, his best shot is not good enough and further research informs me that his reason is entirely wrong, but instead it is marked to celebrate Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his only son.

Spirituality is only the foundations of why the Bath University Asian Student Society (BUASS) organises the

“

Behind the religious base are the deeper bonds of tradition”

yearly ball, for behind the important religious significance are the deeper bonds of shared tradition that make BUASS one of the strongest societies at the university and perhaps, most importantly, one of the most welcoming. Taking photos, I was constantly badgered as to ‘whether I’d like a drink’ or asked ‘whether you have eaten’. It is the latter point that drove me

so effortlessly to the ball and I was not disappointed by the feast of tandoori chicken, daal, tikka masala and other Indian delights. The endless supply of food was surely to be the highlight of the evening, but this was not the case.

As the society members scraped the remaining pilau grains off their plates, a modern infusion of Carnatic and Hindustani music was blasted from speakers signalling the entertainment portion of the evening. As the tables were pushed backed to make room for the performers, a troupe of girls put on a show, with the help of a couple of lucky boys, of traditional dance. This was shortly followed by modern Indian folk music played by the soulful Rishab and Karan Once this was done, everyone was invited to join in with the dancing.

They didn’t take much convincing and before long the room was filled with guests showing off their moves to both Asian and Western music. Despite numerous offers, I myself did not take part in the dancing but did, after the ball, give it a go to a song I once heard in a terrible Bollywood film. The night was an education for me, but for the members of BUASS merely an oppor-

tunity to celebrate the vibrant, unique culture they all share. Happy Diwali everyone!

If you want to take part in similar cultural events, whether you

are Asian or otherwise, BUASS is always pleased to have new members, so please visit www. bathstudent.com for more information.

Ben Butcher

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he smell of spices and freshly baked naan fills the air in the dimly lit Eastern Eye restaurant as the quiet hum of Hindi music sets the mood for the ball. One by one, a myriad of colours transform the room filling it with students dressed in beautifully decorated saris and sherwanis as they escape from the cold winter’s air and enter the warmth of the Georgian interior, tastefully infused with a touch of Indian décor. As the guests pose for photos and compliment their friends on each other’s costumes, diners on the other side of the room look over curiously at this display of proud Asian heritage and culture.

The event celebrates two major occasions on both the Muslim and Hindu calendars, Eid and Diwali respectively. Excusing my ignorance, a girl dressed in a stunning peach, laced sari reliably informs me that Diwali celebrates the return of the God Rama after fourteen years in exile. When I ask why it is also known as ‘the Festival of Lights’, she tells me that to guide Rama home diyas – small lanterns – were lit and so today they carry on that tradition by lighting candles and fire-

Having a ball: BUASS celebrates Diwali and Eid

Ten ways to eat a curry What a blast!

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food and achieve 60 people eating 120 portions.

Step 6: Do stagger home clutching your belly, groaning ‘Argh why did I do this to myself?!’ and promise yourself you will never eat anything again.

Step 7: Do be prepared to go to the ‘Vinda Loo’ multiple times afterwards. Your colon will have taken a beating after the war with the buffet.

If you feel the need to seek medical attention, you’re doing it wrong.

Step 8: Do not go to a club after

an All-You-Can-Eat event. This is the worst drunken decision you could possibly make and WILL end in disaster.

Step 9: Do not eat so much that you feel ill and chunder outside your bathroom, falling into a Korma. Or having to spend your whole time there ‘getting fresh air’ outside, as one committee member can vouch for.

Step 10: Do continue to go to BUCAS socials and do make all your mates tag along.

roolrool

Cameron Buchan BUCAS Chair fter the first sell out all you can eat social, BUCAS have decided to enlighten us in their wise ways for next time...

Step 1: Do not eat big meals during the day. One curry enthusiast went as far to eat nothing the week before, so as to fit in as much of the spicy treasure that awaited him at the social.

Step 2 : Do grab a drink on entry. Nothing helps food go down like a good ol’ pint and it will even help overcome any awkward silences when sitting with strangers! Not too much though as otherwise you will be full before the feasting has commenced.

Step 3: Do have an intoxicated curry-lover on an adjacent table. His Batman impressions will make you laugh and constant shouting of “I didn’t do it” will keep you entertained, especially when you don’t know what “it” was.

Step 4: Do not pile up curry on your plate as high as possible risking that it may fall on the floor in a nice multicoloured mess. People will shake their heads disapprovingly at you!

Step 5: Do eat more than you would consume in an average week.

This way you can justify the shocking revelation of a student going OUT for

Who can resist a good curry and a nice pint of beer.

Nothing quite says ‘autumn is here’ like standing outside in the freezing cold to mark our most famous execution. As the temperatures dropped to just above freezing, so did thousands of Bath residents and University students descend upon the Rec for the yearly fireworks display organised by RAG and the Rotary Club.

For anyone who turned with time to spare before the fireworks, and around 8000 people did, they were treated to an array of performances ranging from fire-twirlers to choirs. On the main stage MusicSoc sent some of finest artists to help keep the atmosphere going. The Bath University Student Musicals Society (BUSMS) sent a choir onto the stage followed by another dire performance from BodySoc who, although they tried, couldn’t ruin the evening.

For those who waited around patiently, burgers and beers in hands, the fireworks did not disappoint as they exploded in the sky with a myriad of colours leaving trails of magic behind

them. The fireworks danced, fizzed and popped to a collaboration of classic British music ranging from the Beatles to the Clash, a fitting tribute to a very British tradition.

The fireworks always make for a great night, but it simply can’t have worked without the legion of volunteers who gave up the night to parade the streets with buckets in hands, to rip the tickets and to ensure everyone knew where they should be. RAG, with the support of the Rotary Club, has organised the night for many years now for a series of local charities in the Bath area.

This year RAG can proudly announce that they managed to raise £17,000 for the charity which will no doubt go a long way. RAG at Bath has always been supportive of charities in the local community and will continue to hold events throughout the year.

If you want to get involved simply visit their page on www.bathstudent.com/rag/ to find what they’re up to.

Monday 19th November 2012

bathimpact

21

Sport

www.bathimpact.com

Wednesday Sport with Tia Skinner Tia Skinner

The SA Sports Reporter gives an outline of the action from Wednesday University of Bath Badminton Women’s 1st 7 UCL Badminton Women’s 1st 1

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his Wednesday I went down to the STV badminton courts to witness our successful Badminton Club in action and find out the latest news in the world of this exciting sport. It has been a great few weeks for the squad, with promising results in their BUCS fixtures but also with one of our women’s first team players, Panuga Riou, and coach Peter Bush, travelling to the 12th World University Badminton Championships in Korea just last week!

The experience for both player and coach was invaluable.

Bush commented on his time saying “It was a great experience! We played a team event first where we came 7th overall, which we were a bit disappointed at.

We had match points to actually come 5th, but we lost to Spain in a close match so we ended up 7th instead. With the individual, again very good performances, but our Bath girl Panuga, she managed to get to the quarter finals, which was great!”

In the last 8 players 7 were Asian and Riou was the only European girl to get through, a fantastic achievement. She lost out on the medal po-

sition in three close sets to a Korean player but said that it was still a really good experience to play the top players in the world.

After only returning on Monday night Riou was back in action alongside her team mates as the Women’s first team faced their biggest competition for the top spot this year, University College London. The first match for the girls saw singles player and team captain Vikki Primmer face UCL’s seeded first singles player Georgina Bland, who is also ranked in the top ten in the country. With both ladies fighting fiercely for the win the intensity was high from the beginning, yet despite Primmer’s efforts, Bland was consistently on the other end of the shuttle determined to send it back and win the point. Next up were the doubles who proved that an initial loss for Bath didn’t affect the teams confidence as both the 1st and 2nd ranked pair went on to win all of their matches, closing down their opponents’ opportunities to come back by winning the first 2 out of 3 games. Yet the Match of the Day for the firsts was Riou vs Bland, the seeded first

University of Bath Badminton Women’s pose for a photograph in the STV after their matches singles players for both teams. Although Bland’s play wasn’t spectacular, her consistent ability to return the shuttle proved wearing for Riou, particularly after her recent travels. The set went into its third game with each player using their strength and agility to place the shuttle both close to the net and at the back of the court, but was Riou who bounced back to take a fantastic victory after her hard work, winning the game 2220! So Bath took the points after a fantastic performance winning 7 out of their 8 games.

After the final fixture I spoke

Selected BUCS Results

Oxford Men’s Basketball 1st

Chichester Women’s Football 1st Chichester Men’s Football 1st Oxford Women’s Hockey 1st Oxford Men’s Hockey 1st Cardiff Met Women’s Netball 1st Exeter Women’s Squash 1st Cardiff Met Men’s Squash 1st Cardiff Met Women’s Tennis 1st Oxford Men’s Tennis 1st

80-94 2-1 2-2 3-1 2-3 51-37 4-0 1-4 0-12 4-8

Bath Men’s Basketball 1st

Bath Women’s Football 1st Bath Men’s Football 1st Bath Women’s Hockey 1st Bath Men’s Hockey 1st Bath Women’s Netball 1st Bath Women’s Squash 1st Bath Men’s Squash 1st Bath Women’s Tennis 1st Bath Men’s Tennis 1st

to Riou about her performance against UCL. She said “for my first match I played Georgina, I’ve played her a few times and she’s on the circuit. She’s the same age as me and used to be on Badminton England so it was a tough match! She gets everything back, she doesn’t do anything special, she’ll just grind you down. She waits until you make a mistake, so I was really struggling but I came through. I was really tired but I won!”

Alongside this display the men’s first team’s performance should also be noted as they played their

biggest rivals for the title, Cardiff University Men’s 1st team. They had a very confident victory, with the singles and doubles players winning 8 out of their 8 games.

However, the result of the day, according to coach Peter Bush, was the Women’s 3rd team. They also faced a challenging afternoon with the odds against them in a cup tie facing the 1st team of Keele University. But in true Team Bath style the pressure of the day didn’t phase them as they won on points after drawing 4-4 games, a result that rounds up a great day for Team Bath Badminton.

University of Bath Basketball Men’s 2nds Winchester Uni Basketball Men’s 2nds The University of Bath Basketball Club have been conquering the headlines in the past few weeks with our last issue covering a Men’s first team game which has seen their first Premier League season get off to a flying start!

This week however it was the Men’s 2nd team that have taken the spot light and deserve a mention and massive congratulations for heavily defeating Winchester University 2nds in a cup game. The scoreline reflected not only fantastic play from the squad, but complete domination with the team hitting the century mark for the first time ever.

The final result was 109-16, marking a result that will definitely be remembered. Captain Charles

109 16

Her couldn’t quite believe the final result, feeling that the game seemed more like a practice, which gave the team the opportunity to rotate players and try different combinations.

He thought the offense executed well and the defence was equally as strong, preventing their opponents from scoring at all until the second quarter, and saw the second half start with the score at 53-1.

It was Teo Deventy that scored the 100th point, which was a memorable moment for the squad, and firmly ensured that the away side were not going to be able to get back into the game.

Let’s hope that the club will continue their good form in the coming weeks.

Monday 19th November 2012

Ivor Powell 1916-2012 Alexandra Egan impactsport Reporter

After a gleaming career spanning decades, an MBE for “services in sport” from her Majesty the Queen, and a Guinness World Record under his belt, Ivor Powell, dedicated coach at the University of Bath, has died at the age of 96.

Powell, a former Welsh international footballer, with a playing, managerial and coaching career that took him to Aston Villa, Blackpool, Queens Park Rangers, Leeds United, Carlisle and PAOK of Greece, spent 37 years coaching at the University of Bath and was officially the world’s oldest football coach, gaining him his very own Guinness World Record.

After a difficult start in life as a child working in the South Wales mines, Powell’s reaction to Billy Birrell’s £8 a week offer to play for Queen’s Park Rangers can only be described as endearing, “I stood up, shook his hand and said, ‘Thank you very much’,”. Describing the mile-and-a-half trek underground to the pit face upon which his family and he endeavored, Powell later remarked “I’m not going to go down that bloody pit again.”

Described as tough, fit and supple by Carlisle United players, Ivor coached three days a week and brought words of wisdom to every training session and match played, avidly listened to and wholly appreciated by players of all ages.

Mr. Powell’s funeral service will take place on Tuesday 20th November at 12pm at the Top Chapel in Bath’s Haycombe Crematorium. The procession will pass by the University of Bath campus at the top of Bathwick Hill where a tribute event in the main hall of the Sports Training Village will take place at 2pm, celebrating Mr. Powell’s life.

The city of Bath proudly displays a statue of him and runs “The Ivor Powell Sports Scholarship Fund”. His family has asked that no flowers be given at the funeral but instead online donations to the fund are welcomed.

Despite his impressive life achievements and celebrity status, Powell never forgot his past and his similarity to the rest of us is shown by the words he expressed before he died, “I suppose I wouldn’t like to be forgotten.”

One thing that is for certain, Mr. Powell, is that you will not be forgotten at the University of Bath.

www.bathimpact.com

Ever heard of Chess Boxing?

Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter

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any people have heard of Chess. It is a two-player board game played on a 64-square checkered board. Each player begins the game with sixteen pieces: one king, one queen, two rooks, two knights, two bishops, and eight pawns. Each of the six piece types moves differently.

Pieces are used to attack and capture the opponent’s pieces, with the object of the game being to ‘checkmate’ the opponent’s king by placing it under an inescapable threat of capture.

These many people will have also heard of Boxing. It is a martial art and combat sport in which two people engage in a contest of strength, reflexes and endurance by throwing punches at an opponent in attempt to crush them to within three inches of their life.

However, these many people will most definitely not have heard of Chess Boxing.

Chess Boxing is a hybrid sport that combines the intellectual challenge of chess and the physical slaughter of boxing. There are 11 rounds, six rounds of chess, each four minutes long and five rounds of boxing, each three min-

utes long, with a one-minute rest in between rounds. The rounds of chess and boxing alternate, with chess beginning the game. Headphones are worn during the chess section to block out the vicious taunts that one would usually expect in a chess game and gloves are worn during the boxing out of common courtesy. The winner is the one who knocks the other player out in the boxing match or gets checkmate in the chess match.

This game combines intellectual ability and brute strength.

Focus too much on the boxing and you will be checkmated within the first round, but conversely if you focus too much on the chess side, you will get knocked out and you may die.

Chess Boxing was invented by a guy named Enki Bilal, a graphic artist who put the game into his graphic novel Froid Equateur.

This game was far different to the game we know and love now as the chess game came after a completed boxing match.

The sport was brought to life

by Iepe Rubingh in 1992. Iepe believed, naturally, that the idea of playing chess after a full boxing match was impractical, as playing

Saschapohflepp

Sport

bathimpact

Action from the Chess Boxing Championships in Berlin chess whilst knocked out is not really feasible, and so alternated the rounds.

So if you want to follow this exciting yet tense sport further, well, you can’t. Well not at the University, or in Bath. You have to go to the Chess Boxing club in

London. The closest this we have here is the Boxing club and the Tabletop Gaming society.

It might be a bit hard to alternate rounds as boxing takes place about a mile off campus, so you’ll have to run. But at least it’ll warm you up.

save from the Oxford goalie. Oxford snatched a second with minutes remaining, countering a Bath attacking move with 3 against 1, leaving Dix helpless in the Bath goal.

With the score at 2-0 at the break, the crowd could not have expected the deluge of goals to come in the second half. Within minutes of the restart, MOM Ballinger fired a thunderous free-kick into the top corner to make it 1-2 and Kitson levelled with a leftfooted strike from outside the area after Ballinger’s disguised pass from a free-kick. Oxford were shell-shocked.

Oxford then capitalised on a defensive error to make it 3-2 before Kitson once again levelled the scores at the back post from another Bath set-piece, this time the cross came from Parkes. The tight score-line and tense atmosphere led to some heated tackles and several yellow cards, with Oxford going down to four men after a player was sent off for a second yellow for simulation. Bath immediately capitalised on their one-man advantage, moving the ball quickly before Ballinger’s diagonal pass cut through Oxford’s defence to find Jennings at the back post to make it 4-3.

A sending off in futsal does not mean 5v4 for the whole game; Bath’s goal meant Oxford could reintroduce a fifth player at the restart. With numbers restored, the away side then once again produced some fine attacking flair and levelled the game at 4-4. Thirty seconds of madness ensued.

Whilst Oxford celebrated their equaliser, Parkes was sharp enough to take a quick kick-off and find Ballinger on the left wing, who took one touch and fired the ball home to restore home-team advantage. Oxford were kicking themselves. Nonetheless, from kick-off Oxford rotated the ball to the left wing, beat the Bath defender and drilled the ball across to tap in at the back post, restoring parity once more.

Both teams were on 5 fouls for much of the second half, leading to an incredibly tense end to the game.

Oxford managed to steal a sixth a few minutes from time and, despite Bath’s best attempts at the ‘fly-goalkeeper’, held on for a hard earned victory against the rather unlucky home side.

Bath will be looking for revenge in the return fixture at Oxford, and if this match is anything to go by, it will be another game worth watching.

Lions steal victory from Bath O

vernight snow could not stop a vocal crowd filling the Founders Sports Hall to see home side Team Bath take on the only team to defeat them in the league last year, rivals Oxford Lions. What was billed pre-match as the biggest fixture so far in the Midlands Division did not disappoint, producing a nail-biting game of futsal, including 11 goals and a sending off.

A tight first ten minutes saw Oxford take the initiative with some

clever attacking play. However, Bath stayed strong and defended well, frustrating their opponents. Oxford broke the deadline shortly after the half-way point of the first half with a disguised shot from ten yards out, catching out goalkeeper Dix who had previously made some fantastic saves to keep Bath level. Despite a regroup and a ‘time-out’ called by playercoach Kitson, Bath could not get on the scoresheet with Parkes hitting the post twice and Kitson forcing a super

Bath Futsal

22

The Team Bath Futsal squad ahead of their game against Oxford

The team at impactsport would like to apologise for an incorrect caption in the last issue. The caption for the article ‘Movember at the STV’ should have read: Members of Bath RAG leading the Movember campaign on campus. For more information on RAG’s Movember campaign check out https://www.facebook.com/BathRag

Monday 19th November 2012

bathimpact www.bathimpact.com

Dylan Baker impactsport Reporter

F

ootball currently has a simulation problem. It is not so much the fact that players are diving; it is that too much pressure has been put on referees to eradicate diving too quickly.

More so than ever before, referees are handing out yellow cards to players for what they perceive to be simulation and as with any decisions referees make, some mistakes occur. Referees making mistakes is nothing new to football, nor to any other sport; the difference with other sports is that they have the benefit of retrospectively punishing players for their actions. Bring in the Shana-ban.

The NHL (National (Ice) Hockey League for those who do not follow sports played by our North American counter-parts) suffered from similar problems a few years ago, not with diving but with ‘dirty’ hits. The NHL acknowledged that it was not simply enough to ban players found guilty of potentially dangerous hits, but that they must also educate so that the same infringe-

ments do not occur in the future.

They appointed a recently retired, highly regarded player, to the role of chief disciplinarian. In comes Brendan Shanahan and the Shana-ban. Players he found guilty of dangerous hits were banned retrospectively and videos, with his familiar face explaining why they were considered dangerous, were released publicly through the NHL. Players were being banned and their NHL Everyman was explaining why.

Whilst I don’t believe it is necessary to make an ex-Premier League player the face of FA discipline (I imagine we already see those who would be in line for the role enough every Saturday evening on Match of the Day), the FA needs to catch up with other sports in the world and embrace the (arguably no longer) new technology available to them.

Every football fan and pundit has the benefit of replaying every contentious decision repeatedly and so should the FA. It is important that they not only ban players retrospectively but that they also educate those that follow and play

CS Smith

Let’s bring in the Shana-ban

Brendan Shanahan on the ice for the New York Rangers in 2008 football, particularly new generations of footballers who idolise many of the players in question.

This, of course, should not be limited to simulation. Dangerous tackles are missed every week and more protection needs to be granted to referees. It can, of course, still be argued that getting decisions in a match wrong and banning players afterwards will not change the results, which

is true, but banning players for simulation and dangerous tackles would hopefully mean that less and less decisions would have to be made each week as players learn that they can no longer get away with such behaviour. There is no immediate way to make better football, but the FA needs to start taking steps to ensure that they do not lose an increasing number of disenchanted fans.

for their diet of beer and ice cream.

So why are we attracted to good bodies? Subconsciously the animal within is telling you that this fine specimen is going to give you attractive offspring. That is basically our primal goal in life; create the best possible offspring to continue your line of genes long after you die. Other than 42, this is the meaning of life. Though don’t fornicate too quickly, you need to see if the first impression wears off. It’s all well and good having attractive children, but if they’re pricks then you’ll be personally responsible for the collapse of civilisation and we will look for you, we will find you and we will beat you up. There will still be laws after civilisation, just not ones about personal injury.

A good body is also a sign that people take care of themselves; they put effort into making themselves they best they can be and we think that if they do that with themselves, they’ll do that with other people. This is not always the case as they may be too obsessed with their body to take any notice of you whatsoever. In which case the writer is still in the bar drinking himself to death.

If we take a cruder look at this then high fitness levels correlate to stamina, and stamina in the bedroom environment is always a good thing.

Though again if you find someone self-absorbed then it might be hard to achieve utmost satisfaction for

yourself. Plus having good stamina doesn’t always mean having good self-control and may result in early arrival.

Having a good body is great, I used to have a good body before someone head-butted me causing me to feel pain if I lifted a bag of shopping. You feel so much better about yourself, which is probably the most attractive quality to find in someone. If you feel good about yourself, then other people will feel good about you.

I’m not saying that people who find toned-bodied people attractive are shallow, we all find those people attractive, it’s human nature. This is not a rant about sportspeople and their carved physiques; it’s an observational piece of fine, witty, modest investigative journalism. We are drawn to fine bodies; we can’t help it.

In the words of that famed Sports’ documentary, Dodgeball, remember that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness, or necrophilia. So if you are feeling a bit out of luck with the opposite sex, overweight and unattractive, come on down to Globo Gym: They’re better than you and they know it.

No but seriously get to the gym, it will make you feel much better about yourself and others will be more attracted to you because of it. Or take up a sport, that’s good too. Don’t take up darts, that’s the start of a slippery slope.

The attraction of sportspeople G Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter

irls I give you a choice. Two men. One plays sport and has a six-pack, toned arms and a bottom made out of mild steel.

The other is a writer and is a little over weight. On first glance, whom are you going to go for? Unless you are Cheryl Cole and like a bit of a belly, most of you will pick the sportsman.

We make up our mind about people within the first seven seconds of meeting them. This is why a stand-up comedian starts with one of their best jokes: to get people laughing immediately. If we take a look at our situation, the writer has to think of some-

thing witty to say and then say it, but all the sportsman has to do is stand there with their chiselled features and tight bottom.

First impressions are so important and people who are aesthetically pleasing create a better first impression than those who are not as visually gifted. I do not mean people who are not blind. The impression that the sportsperson gives is so good that even if they are a massive prick, it will be too late by the time you find out; they will have you within their grasp and because they play sport and therefore are strong, it will be hard to break that grip. Conversely, the writer has a lot of work to do to make up

A true demonstration of the attractiveness of sportspeople

23

Sport

Powell’s Peeves Flaming football fans Football.

The beautiful game. Or maybe not.

Recently I went to watch some guys play football at football’s very own White Hart Lane of football.

It was some of the most footbally football that I have ever seen. And I very nearly managed to enjoy the experience.

All of the footballers were adequately representing the footbally game of football with the footballing that they were doing. What I am upset about is the non-footballers watching the football in my general vicinity.

I was seated near two particularly malodorous gentlemen at the aforementioned football. One inebriated gentleman shouted that he would have been winning 8-0 had he been controlling the players on FIFA. I fail to believe, sir, that you could have, in your drunken state (he was too drunk to find his seat), even have been able to hold the controller properly, let alone beat the computer by a large margin – I would even let you play on professional instead of world class (I am a gentleman). As such I have a suggestion for this man. Sit down. Shut up. You are not good at football. Stop complaining about the general quality of the match without any reasoning or suggestions for improvement and just watch the footballing game.

My objections to this man were his manner and his smelly chat.

Other guys seated near me were more interested in their sweets and sharing pictures of their girlfriends than watching the footballing football.

Then at half time they left and went to a local public house.

This did allow me to enjoy the football more but also left my burning sense of indecency unquenched via the rules Queensbury himself set down.

Had they not been there then some real football fans who would have been interested in the football could have been there to watch the football.

I guess what I’m saying is that please, by Ronaldo’s weird, unnecessary forehead soul patch, just sit down and shut the f*** up!

impactsport Dylan Baker

Monday 19th November 2012

The attractiveness of sportspeople Page 23

Inside impactsport FA to make a Shanaban? impactsport Reporter Dylan Baker presents his case for introducing retrospective banning in English football to help eradicate the problem of diving in the game.

Page 23 has the full story

Chess Boxing interested?

Ben Cochrane tells impactsport of the sport sweeping the nation Chess Boxing. Surprisingly it consists of a hybrid between chess and boxing.

Page 22 for more

Wednesday sport with Tia Skinner impactsport Editor Matthew Powell (L) and 1449am URB Sport Show reporter Simon Rushton (R) with Hope Powell at Wembley

There’s Hope for womens’ football Matthew Powell impactsport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk

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n Monday 12th November a team from impactsport and the 1449AM URB Sport Show were presented with a unique opportunity: to meet Hope Powell, the England Ladies’ manager at the home of football, Wembley. Powell has been at the head of England Ladies’ football for 14 years and under her leadership the England team have reached the quarter finals at the 2007 World Cup and got into the final in the 2009 European Championships.

She spoke confidently on the FA’s plan to build on this summer’s sporting success in order to improve the perception of women’s football. She said: “We have to try to deliver this plan, it is possible, it won’t be easy, but it is possible”.

With regards to the difference in perception between female football in the United Kingdom when contrasted with the perception in the USA, where professional women’s football is played to a

high level, she said: “In America, the Great British Women’s coach football (or soccer) is considered for the London 2012 Olympic a female sport which is different Games. The ladies performed well to the UK, which is something we and reached the quarter finals, would like to change.” and saw crowds of up to 70,000 Back in October 2009, she was packing into Wembley. linked with the vacant Grimsby Powell reflected on her time at Town job; this would have made the Olympics and concluded: “It her the first female manager in was a very unique and special exmen’s professional football. When perience. It was the first time we asked whether she would consid- have had a women’s GB team and er a move into the men’s it was a very different engame she replied: vironment to what “Everybody asks we were used to. me that, peoBut it probple assume ably has to that the be one of m e n ’ s the best game is experibetter ences in than the my footwomen’s. balling If a cacareer as reer opa coach.” portunity As for presents ither views self and you on the future Martin Pettitt think it’s favourof the GB Ladies’ able to you, you would team she said: “From look at it. I am no different.” my perspective, yes, I hope a Powell was also appointed as 2016 team comes to fruition, from

a footballing point of view however there is a large amount of politics involved in this decision.”

On the recent issues surrounding racism that football faces, Hope Powell said that she believes that organisations such as Kick it Out have educated well on the problem of racism but feels there is still work to do: “I think it has raised awareness, the work they have done to date has been very positive, with education. Unfortunately with any walk of life you are always going to get individuals or groups that rebel against that campaign. It’s a shame that there have been some incidents recently but thankfully they are in the minority. Most players play football for a love of the game. That’s not to say that racism isn’t an issue but I think Kick it Out have done a lot of positive work.”

On behalf of the interviewing team I would like to thank Hope Powell for her time and we all wish her and her side luck when they head to Sweden for the European Championships next summer.

The SA Sport Reporter talks us through some of the teams from the University of Bath in action on Wednesday 31st October. Check out the full results of the day (all information correct at time of printing).

Turn to page 21 to see how our teams got on

Powell’s Peeves Ever been sat at a football match and had the urge to hit someone for being such an idiot? Well impactsport Editor Matthew Powell talks of his pet hate when watching the nation’s favourite sport.

Check out page 23

Get involved

If you are interested in sport and want to contribute, then contact the bathimpact Sport Editor Matthew Powell (impact-sport@bath.ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get involved.

We’re always on the lookout for for writers, photographers, people to lay up, or just all round sports buffs in general to help out. So, if you have a story you want to share, don’t be afraid to get in touch!

Pedro de Jesus Gomes

2

Monday 19th November 2012

bite Editorial: Cool I

’m not very cool; it’s something I probably have to admit. If I was cool then I wouldn’t be inside writing an article about why I’m not very cool and trying to ignore the festering piles of shit on my TV that appear to be the contestants of The Young Apprentice. Although on the bright side, they seem to think they’re pretty cool and at least I’m not like them because then I’d have to kill myself.

Still, if I was cool I’d be out in a club doing things with alcohol and bitches and bright lights and saying things like “bro” and not wanting to kill myself because of it (I really don’t get that last bit). In fact I’d probably think it was fun. Admittedly, this would probably result in disillusionment with my life and the eventual realisation that my social relationships will all be going downhill from here - leading to a slightly delayed wanting to kill myself.

I guess that’s enough with the light hearted humour (although if you want to further pick apart the mostly idiotic notion of cool then seen Ben Cochrane’s article to the right, it’s lovely, like Greek Yoghurt and Muesli… told you I wasn’t cool) so I’ll try and make a brief point to this ridiculous monologue (I’m hoping these and the horoscopes serve as a nice documentation of my descent into madness).

We’re still concerned with being cool (Miss Helen Edworthy puts it in nicer terms than me on page 5 if you’d care to peruse her work) and it’s quite annoying. There’s a certain

A nibble of bite

kind of person that always get on the guestlist at Bridge, due wearing brand clothing for the sake of brand clothing and dancing like they’re too cool to dance properly and shun you for actually dancing and having fun. There are bands that can put four chords behind their cheap rhymes and pretty faces and be lauded as actual musicians (Alex Philpotts and Robert Page brush upon this topic on page 9). Then there are the people that go to Bridge and XL because they’re fed up not going out and not enough people are smart enough to realise The Porter is an infinitely better option. People who play actual video games rather than Fifa to make their friends give a ridiculous Facebook apology (Ron Morrow goes into further depth on page 8). People who aren’t idiots basically.

Still I guess it’s subjective and as yet bi weekly rants seem unlikely to change public opinion. As such this issue of bite will attempt to give you an idea of some things that should be cool. Pages 10 and 11 are a beautiful fashion spread in which Sophia Guilfoyle discusses the best ways to get the coolest look (yes we’re taking the piss out of cool and presenting it at the same time; we’re like Stewart Lee - we want our cake and to eat it too). Rowan Emslie’s Modern Times takes up its usual place on Page 4 as he introduces us to the birth place of cool with Miles Davis. Page 7 then sees Holly Narey discuss why Obama was undoubtedly the cool choice for the 2012 election along with a wonderful graphic

bite www.bathimpact.com

by Sam Short. Moustaches, as a sign of class and wisdom throughout the world (okay...the internet) must also be considered and it gives us the perfect opportunity to see how well certain members of the University of Bath are doing with their Movember efforts on page 15 (and all for a good cause remember). Rounding off the articles on cool we see Gemma Isherwood make us all jealous by describing how generally awesome Sydney is while Nathan Hill brings us back to earth by explaining how shit eBay can be.

Then we have all the usual things that you know and tolerate; on Page 12 we have the usual assortment of reviews from all walks of life, or at least the bits that involve popular culture, as well as The Guide with 1449AMURB on Page 13 giving you the best of what’s coming up in Bath and Bristol over the next few weeks. Page 16 is the home of our agony aunts this week, giving you their coolest tips on how to solve your darkest and most embarrassing secrets, as well as the usual sex column and the new diary of a fresher.

Page 17 then sees Lily Morris continue her lifestyle expertise and gives you a selecton of the coolest cocktails. Finally we round up with a mintyscore that gradually drains my life force every time I venture inside, as well as the usual puzzles and horoscopes on page 20.

To get involved in bite head over to our facebook group at www.facebook.com/bathimpactbite Or email me at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk

We can be cool too

Blog of the week:

See our double page fashion spread on pages 10 and 11 for tips on how to get the coolest look. Plus the page looks absolutely beautiful. We also have the best selection of coktails on page 18, guaranteed to impress all your friends and get you ever so slightly shitfaced.

Of course we also do our usual thing of massively taking the piss out of cool. To see evidence of this just look right. No, not that far right, that’s a wall. Look right while remaining within the paper, page 3, well done.

http://nickclegglookingsad.tumblr.com/

Caleb Wheeler Robinson

If you do one thing this week...

Go to see A.Skillz in Moles on Saturday the 24th of November. It’s rare to get such a well established and famous DJ playing right in Bath so check it out.

We also completely recommend going to see Frank Turner on December the 1st but it’s kind of sold out so you’ll have to pay tout prices to get in.

In better news, The Gaslight Anthem announced two Bristol dates for March 2013 so get right on that.

Nick often looks Sad. People don’t like his plays, he forgets to take the labels off of presents and sometimes David is mean to him. This blog documents those moments in all their glory.

Things to...

Watch: Peep Show, the programme that shows that no bad how things get someone somewhere will laugh at it.

If you miss a few lectures you can easily catch up before the new series.

Read: George Orwell. Stop pretending you’ve read it and actually read it, he’s awesome.

Listen: Shakira! Those hips don’t lie and so good they named her twice. You know you want to

See our interview with Scroobius Pip on page 13 Best quotes from our heads

bite gets political

“I’d rather be dead than cool” - Kurt Cobain

Last issue you will have noticed bathimpact’s b-e-a-utiful double page spread in features that covered the US Presidential election. It had graphics and a massive map and all those kinds of impressive things, but this week it’s bite’s turn to get political. We did some serious research and spent minutes in the library to give you the most up date and scientific evaluation possible.

See our take on the election on page 7. Spoiler, it involves dragons, Lord Of The Rings and fire.

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand” - Homer Simpson “I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live” - Kanye West

New Release:

Peep Show. It’s finally back, November 25th on Channel 4

bite

Monday 19th November 2012

“Better dead than cool”

3

www.bathimpact.com

Pedro de Jesus Gomes

written by Ben Cochrane

Apparently putting some cheap plastic on the front of a t-shirt suddenly makes it jump from £5 to £25, it must be it’s ability to automatically single you out at as a douche

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hat a load of bollocks. According to the ever-reliable source and the student’s best friend Wikipedia, something regarded as cool “is an admired aesthetic, behaviour, comportment, appearance or style influenced by, and a product of the intellectual fashion or dominant school of thought that typifies and influences the culture of the period”.

In normal English, something that is ‘cool’ is something that we like because it’s something that society tells us to like. Bollocks.

Cool also refers to a lack of temperature or the act of lowering temperature. These two definitions are not bollocks, but the other one is, utter bollocks.

Basically, if someone tells you that you are or look ‘cool’, they are telling you that you are an undefined, arse-licking, moronic nobody with no ambition or goal in life other than to conform to the metaphorical yardsticks that society lays out upon the symbolic pavement of acceptance. They may also not know any better and just be complimenting you, in which case it’s probably not best to shout at them immediately.

You were cool in the 50’s if you wore a white t-shirt and vast amounts of leather; in the 60’s you had to wear lots of peaceful colours and peaceful symbols and a lack of a skirt. The 70’s had its share of flares and ridiculous denim combinations complete with Afros in the shape of large tumours. The 80’s brought us unnecessarily large tops, tracksuit bottoms and a plethora of padded shoulder jackets, and the wonderful 90’s gave us flashy trainers and bowl cuts. All of which did not survive, unless you’re one of those people who enjoy the ‘retro’ look - if so, you may want to buy a newspaper and check the date.

So what is considered ‘cool’ nowadays? Other than Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction. That is the only thing that will be cool for all eternity.

Skinny jeans: if jeans weren’t tight enough already. Did a bloke think to himself: “hang on, my balls aren’t getting squashed enough in these and I don’t think enough blood clots are being formed in my brain, I really wish they were tighter.” It doesn’t make sense. Also, people want to show as much of their underwear as possible. Why would I want to see the piece of material that has been in contact with your arse? It’s not going to attract me, no matter how gorgeous you are.

People are starting to dress like the people on The Only Way

Is Essex and Made in Chelsea, which are the two worst shows on television. Why would you want to watch orange mannequins who would ejaculate if they smelt their own fart and would not take offence to the “if you look up stupid in the dictionary” joke because they don’t know what a dictionary is, or what stupid means - prance around like royalty trying to make words come out of their collagen enhanced orifices in set-up ‘real’ scenarios about banal trivialities such as hair cuts or shoes? I suppose if you like to watch things that make normal people want to tear their eyes out then fine, but why would you want to dress like them? Why would you even want to have any connection with these creatures that perhaps used to, in some parallel universe, kind of resemble human beings? It doesn’t make sense, yet people follow their fashions and even use meaningless phrases such as ‘dench’ that literally have no meaning. Literally.

Justin Bieber’s hairstyle, the one that made his head look like a football - as if his head wasn’t kickable enough already – was supposedly synonymous with ‘cool’ and swept the world faster than a toddler on ecstasy riding a pogo-stick. Pre-pubescent boys everywhere suddenly popped up with identical haircuts, and they became indistinguishable - with each one as kickable as the next. When his haircut changed, millions followed suit.

If Justin Bieber wanted, he could take over the world with an army of young adults....or maybe the real army with guns and missiles and helicopters and tanks would kill him, after they’d stopped laughing.

Music is a huge part of our lives, and the things we listen to define us as human beings. To be accepted, most people think we have to listen to the Top 40 and nothing else, as this is what popular culture says we should be listening to - and to make matters worse, everything sounds exactly the same. The only thing that really changes is the title and the artist’s name, but even then artists are choosing similar names that have no connection with their actual name at all. There is over 60 years of popular music, so why is it that people feel compelled to listen to the drivel that is being produced today on a computer? Music used to be made from the soul using real emotion and passion.

Now the only real thing in music is the computer it’s made on, and even that might just be a magic box that music producers open with a magic key whenever they need a new song.

So why do people act, dress and behave in these ways? Well, when we’re younger we try to emulate the way we see older people do and conversely when we’re older we try to emulate the young. This is what we call a midlife crisis, or what Dads call ‘not being that old’. It seems that cool relates to the ages between 16 and 24; people outside this age bracket use this term and people inside don’t, because it’s not cool.

In many cases, people act ‘cool’ to attract the opposite sex.

This is why the Justin Bieber Football Head was so popular.

Pre-pubescent girls like Justin Bieber because, even though he is lot older than them and theoretically a lot further through puberty, physically he seems to be their age, and because he looks ‘cute’, they want to marry him. Ergo, pre-pubescent boys thought to themselves that if they looked like Justin Bieber, girls would fancy them too. This is also why people act like those titanic twats in Made in Chelsea or The Only Way is Essex; “everyone fancies them and so if I try to be like them, everyone will fancy me.” No. As I’ve said before (just in case you’ve just skipped to the end) the main reason why we emulate these fads is to fit in.

We believe there is nothing worse than standing out like a sore thumb and so we dress and act in these ways which, if we were to look at them objectively, would think them to be senseless and risible.

If people were to have the balls just to give the finger to society, go their own way and be themselves, then we would have so much more variety in life, and it would be so much richer because of it. It wouldn’t have to be something huge; just a small change in the way you dress or act to make you stand out from the crowd, and make people remember you as a person and not just a sheep who follows the flock. Though, if you really want to wear a sheep costume and follow people then go for it, we are all behind you. Laughing.

If you feel like I’m having a go at you; I am. Don’t do something because everyone else does. Make your own decisions.

Live your own life, not the life of others. And remember: “don’t fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” Bertrand Russell knew his shit.

And don’t literally give the finger to society; they will put you in jail, and that’s not cool.

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Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Modern Notes: A false anecdote

www.bathimpact.com

here is a scene towards the end of the first season of Mad Men in which lead character (and self consciously stylish man-about-town) Don Draper finds himself at a party thrown by the beatnik friends of his latest lover. He sticks out, as an establishment figure in exquisitely expensive suits confronted by the nascent counter culture ready in the early 1960s to start breaking down the old way of life. He is uncomfortable, for once, not knowing what he has walked into. An open shirted, long haired party-goer explains what the evening will entail, “We’re going to get high and listen to Miles.” He ends up doing both, notably relaxed, his guard comes down for the first time and he is drawn into an involved conversation with the hippies he had wanted to ignore an hour before.

A ‘real’ anecdote: It is said that, in 1987, President Ronald Reagan invited jazz musician Miles Davis to a dinner at the White House. During the evening, First Lady Nancy Reagan turned to Miles, and asked him what he had done with his life to warrant an invite to such a prestigious event. Straight-faced, he turned to her with his reply, “I’ve changed the course of music history five or six times, what have you ever done except fuck the President?”

This may or may not be an urban legend; as ever, the details of this anecdote remain disputed, muddy, and, as of 1991, without its chief protagonist. What can be said is that Miles’ claim is, if immodest, not too much of an embellishment. He is credited with making the crossover jazz album, Kind Of Blue, being on the front line of the bebop revolution, as well as, you know, inventing fusion music. And that’s just off the top of my head.

‘Cool’ - meaning ‘fashionable’ - has its roots in early 20th century jazz, supposedly chiefly championed by tenor saxophonist Lester Young. In the smoke filled jazz clubs of New York and Paris, the music came across the room like fresh air from an open door. Terms, ‘chill’ or ‘chill out’ are thought to have similar roots.

This era of music has a plethora of words have since become totally assimilated into the mainstream: ‘baby’ as a term of endearment, ‘The Apple’ to refer to New York, ‘axe’ for musical instrument, ‘break it down’, ‘hip’, ‘crib’, ‘chick’ - the list is enormous.

The precise origins of these words are more or less lost to the smoke themselves, along with the vast majority of the major artists of the period. Many faded to obscurity, some died relatively young before pop could eclipse their beloved genre in the culture of the West, and most suffered the ravages of narcotic excesses.

Miles’ icon was Charlie ‘The Bird’ Parker, a brilliant saxophonist and composer whose fame and talent was so great that the legendary New York jazz club Birdland was named after him in an attempt to guarantee revenues. His career was self-destructive but luminary, and periods of enormous creative output would be punctuated by ‘lost’ episodes in which he would disappear, alone with his heroin and alcohol habits. He died young aged thirty four, before he could realise his dream of the Third Way - melding his ideas about jazz with the radical classical music of Igor Stravinsky.

Just one managed to truly bridge the gap between the Beat Generation and the swinging sixties. Miles.

He appealed to the avant-garde and the establishment at the same time - bringing Don Draper into line with a beatnik party. Even after the 1960s, he went electric, on the shocking 1970 album Bitches Brew, and ignited the funk movement with his startlingly original jazz-fusion. Today, he remains one of the few popular 20th century artists who has been able to maintain the respect of modern classical composers while selling millions of records.

Interestingly, he didn’t want to become such a radical, genrestraddling figure; he had intended to become a classical musician after leaving the prestigious establishment music school Juilliard but found his natural progression into playing repertory pieces on the US circuit was blocked. In his words, “No white symphony orchestra was going to hire a little black motherfucker like me.”

Their loss.

Now, instead of being listened to and admired by a select group of Don Drapers and Nancy Reagans, his records are admired by a range of critics and ordinary listeners alike. Urban myth or not, what actually did Nancy Reagan do besides fuck the President?

William Gottlieb

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written by Rowan Emslie

“You know I always kind of wondered Miles, strike up the cool”

Monday 19th November 2012

bite

5

Do we still want to be popular?

www.bathimpact.com

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e68 6

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dalechumberly

In any sane world Velma would have been the leader. Although I realise in a realistic Scooby Doo the police would have solved mysteries instead and Shaggy would have OD’d trying to cope with their sudden success

Let’s all be unpopular and different like Pete Wentz and love him in our tens of thousands!

written by Helen Edworthy

e’ve all seen it in some way, shape or form – the kid who wants to be part of the ‘popular’ group, the brushing off of said kid by the group they so very much want to be a part of. While using those words to describe it feels painfully, horribly twee; I would call bullshit on anybody who says they’ve never seen it or experienced it. Being a teenager, you feel a certain pull to act in a certain way, or listen to certain things - but everybody knows that. The number of articles that come out talking about how ‘teenagers feel peer pressure’ or ‘teenagers belong to social cliques’, you’d think nobody had noticed before. But everybody knows it, and I would bet money that you could talk to absolutely anybody and 90 per cent of them would fondly and gently deride their teenage personalities… If they’ve made it that far (some people stay teenagers forever). Peer pressure being what it is, however, you’d expect it to not be such a huge pull after the age of about seventeen, but I’m sure everybody remembers Freshers’ Week. My main point is; who decides which peers get to pressure, and who decides what people are to pressure their peers about?

The question is whether what is ‘popular’, or who is ‘popular’, is so important at university. I’d love to argue that the answer is ‘no’, and that after secondary school everything is magically fabulous and wonderful in every way, and start telling people in Year 13 that when you get university offers you also get a pet unicorn and a pair of diamond shoes. Unfortunately, university is like anything else in some ways – you may not have the old clique-style way of social organisation that seems so important when you’re fifteen years old and listening to Fall Out Boy as you covet expensive-but-ineffectual pairs of Vans, but within every group you encounter there are still the people that others are more likely to listen to. You know the ones; the ‘leader’ types who just seem to comfortably take the reigns as the rest of the group sit around talking about cider or tactical chundering or whatever it is normal people talk about. They’re the ones people go to for organisational purposes, and they’re usually good at it, so generally nobody minds. Comfortable or not, however, it’s still a reproduction of a hierarchy people tend to more often than not complain about even as they take part in it. My advice? Live in a box. But only if the box has a high speed internet connection. I’ve seen someone do it, so it’s clearly possible – or, wait.

That might have been an episode of Daria. My bad. Maybe it might be easier to just watch TV indefinitely.

The reason people don’t notice their own part in the popularity hierarchy may have to do with the upsurge in ‘nerd’ culture in mainstream media. While in the past superheroes and thick glasses were frowned upon and not-so-gently made fun of, recently you can’t get away from The Avengers or celebrities sporting cult media t-shirts – nerds don’t have to keep their shrines to Iron Man underneath their beds anymore along with their reproduction Master Swords and J-Pop CD collections. Being kind of lame is cool (not reading real comics and speaking Klingon, that’s really geeky, ew), and so is being overly kitsch. It can be lauded as society being accepting and forward-thinking, because how many times has it been said now that nerds are the ones you’ll be working for in the future, so it’s best to be nice to them?

We’re cool with nerds now, which obviously means that the people generally seen at the bottom of the social hierarchy aren’t bothered about it anymore, and it doesn’t matter at the top.

Of course, the two things are most likely unrelated; it’s probably just that Thor is cool and people don’t look down on MMORPGs the way they might have done in the past. But I would argue that, even after secondary school, the idea of ‘popularity’ is still as seductive as ever. I mean, who doesn’t want people to like them? And if your answer is ‘I don’t’, I want you to take a step back from yourself and try to work out whether it’s not just that your idea of ‘people’ is the kind of person you typically don’t want to hang out with, because I can guarantee there is at least one person you do. The idea of who is ‘popular’ and who isn’t still exists in its basest form, as just an idea; but ideas are persuasive, just like peer pressure. If there is a single person who exists as some sort of untouched-by-society’s-expectations, super confident, unique being, then please point them out to me.

I’ve got diamond shoes I want rid of.

Monday 19th November 2012

bite

7

bite gets political

www.bathimpact.com

Sam Short

written by Holly Narey

If you consider Obama’s success in winning over the swing voters in key states such as Florida and Ohio then it is clear that he’s riding a dragon and killing Romney

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t was just over four years ago that I, and a lot of the rest of the world, came down with a severe case of Obamafever; a highly infectious disease with symptoms of optimism and an increased faith in humanity, interspersed with the odd bout of disappointment and frustration (the balance is more equal now, but at least it’s not Bush levels of “get me out of here-itis”). It’s a disease cured only by a massive betrayal, without which the symptoms only slowly fade over time before spiking at times of speech-giving or changes in policy, or whenever a newspaper runs a story or collection of photos about the man’s private life. Because, let’s face it; he’s awesome.

For example, one of his biggest criticisms is that he just cares so damn much that he wants to help everyone, even those no-good ‘47 per cent’ freeloaders who can’t help themselves because of illness or crushing poverty. What a bastard. Of course he’s had his low points, when he’s disappointed us (Guantanamo) or confused us (I just don’t understand what’s going on with his simultaneous praise of whistleblowers and then his government’s bragging about how many of them have been imprisoned during his time in office so far…) BUT NEVER MIND, those are topics for another time; this article is all about Obama love.

It may be happening in a different country, on a different continent, but I still feel that every triumph he has is felt

throughout the world, and every failure is painful for us all.

Perhaps it’s because we get such uninspiring individuals as David Cameron (eurgh) and Ed Milliband (meh), and I’m pretty sure that the Mayor of London was elected because people like his “silly hair” (no worries about the scary ideologies contained in the head beneath it because it’s floppy!

Yay!). It’s enough to make me vomit with disillusionment. I want to be able to shout “Yes we can!” and “Forward”, and to really believe in the possibility of progress. I’d give up my degree and become a janitor just to get a fist bump from the gentleman. Sigh.

I don’t know what this “progress” is that I have in my head. Healthcare, freedom to love whomever you want, equality and peace; these are probably the realities of my hopes, but then there are the things that go beyond reality… Perhaps him riding a dragon, wielding a sabre - probably against an army of zombies because most of my daydreams involve armies of zombies, and all the zombies are wearing mama jeans and strongly resemble Romney, and they’ve lost all capabilities for coherent speech beyond garbled grandstanding, shuffling along, mumbling about an American America for Americans, occasionally barking “TROOPS” and emitting a slurred “founding faaatherrrssshhh”. Also dollar bills float out of their pockets with every shambling step.

So four years, several billion dollars and a closely-run campaign later, Obama is still in the White House, the Democrats still have the Senate, and the Republicans… you guessed it, still have the House of Representatives. Some people think that all that time and effort has been wasted and that no progress has been made. In response, I put forward this; think about Lord of the Rings (yes this is genuinely happening right now and you can’t stop me). Think of all the effort the hobbits put in, and at the end of it things are actually worse than they were before; armies have been left massacred; fathers have lost sons, children have lost fathers, some areas of Middle Earth left devastated by the Orc hoards, but everyone is happy because a true evil has been averted and Sauron is defeated. Well, in my opinion, that’s pretty much exactly what’s happened here; apart from I’m less afraid of the thought of a big fiery eye fixed above a tower than of a world with no planned parenthood or Big Bird run by a moronic toff. In the Lord of the Rings metaphor I’d like to play the role of beautiful and mysterious elf maiden but because I’m sat here writing about it that probably makes me Bilbo. Awesome.

So long live Obama! And long live our faith in him. May he finally close Guantanamo and leave the mouths of the Tea Party members open in horror forevermore. Perhaps if Texas succeeds we can take their place?

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Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Gaming, still for the nerds? www.bathimpact.com

written by Ron Morrow

room coders and social recluses) are still too recent in memory for the slate to have been wiped clean. As with anything new, the people who pick it up first are few and far between and often a bit quirky, and it just so happens with gaming that the stereotype surrounding those interested in it hasn’t quite dissipated yet. The

gamers of today are me and you, ordinary people. Is gaming cool?

Maybe not, but it sure as hell isn’t the socially damning hobby it was in yesteryear.

For more of Ron’s articles visit: www.thenorthernnerd. wordpress.com kuritita

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’ve never had a problem telling people that I play games - but then again I’m located in a small section of the populace who seem oblivious to the opinions of others. To be honest I never even considered how someone might react when I express my interest in gaming, but recently I got thinking about how it’s perceived. Is it still seen by the majority as the hobby of oddballs, or has it finally been accepted into popular culture’s loving embrace?

I figure there’s a few different ways to think about this, and that depends on how much time one spends playing games and what types of games are played. It seems to be that if someone only plays games on their phone or on Facebook, or plays dropin/out games on a console such as CoD or Fifa, and/or just spends a few hours playing every now and again, then they wouldn’t really label themselves a “gamer”- in some ways like how someone who only ever reads magazines isn’t likely to list “reading” under their interests. Automatically, we’ve declassified a whole chunk of our sample if they don’t consider themselves part of the question.

This makes me think that it’s almost solely down to the types of games people play that any judgement rests upon, with the more in-depth, story based ones people can sink into for hours taking the brunt.

But wait; wasn’t Skyrim, one of the most in-depth and sprawling RPGs ever, an incredibly popular release of the last year? Yes, it was, and it sold millions of copies. It ticks all the standard nerd boxes, such as having a fantasy setting, mythical creatures and lots of stats. It takes hundreds of anti-social single player adventuring hours to complete properly, yet is still an incredibly popular title with Joe Bloggs who only plays games intermittently.

Which makes me wonder; what exactly is it that gaming’s stigma is attached to? If we’ve eliminated social and casual games as well as hardcore triple A titles from our list of possibilities, then how is whatever’s left tarnishing an entire hobby?

Honestly, I don’t think there are any games out there worth attaching stigmatism to; even the indie games on the fringe are the hipsters of the gaming world, pushing interactive media to its limits while constantly writing love letters to vintage retro. I think the damage was done a while ago, and we’ve been dealing with the repercussions for years now. Gaming is one of the newest forms of media and the tech obsessed fanatics (who were bed-

3. Guybrush Threepwood: Monkey Island Star of the Monkey Island game series, this cheeky pirate has the constant air about him that he knows he’s awesome, and nothing you say can change that. With a first name originating from an art file formatting and a middle name carrying the intellectual weight of the world, Guybrush Ulysses Threepwood is a master of wit that could handle a battle of quips with the best of them. Despite being outmatched by most when it comes to swordplay and general pirate villainy, there are few who match his ingenuity when it comes to problem solving, such as zip-lining with a rubber chicken.

Lauren.Miller

micheal.aulia

bite’s coolest game characters

2. Ezio Alditore: Assassin’s Creed 2 “The name’s Italian, Sexy Italian.” I know he never actually said those words, but as far as I could tell this is what every female NPC heard when they crossed paths with Ezio during the Assassin’s Creed II trilogy. Combine being an absolute ladies’ man with the angst of Batman and a bad-ass beard by the end of the series, and you’ve got a strong leading man. Probably the most lethal being in the universe during the 15th and 16th centuries, Ezio manages to use his Force powered sexy voice to convince every guard he comes across either to line up one by one for slaughter, or wave his fingers and state that he’s not the assassin they’re looking for.

1. Rectangle Block: Tetris Oh Rectangle Block; you so hipster. You know full well we want you to come join the space we left just for you at our block party, but just as we give up hope you turn up fashionably late. You high five some people, exchange moustache tips, and then you disappear as quickly as you appeared, taking half of the party with you!

Even when you do turn up early or unexpectedly you just turn on your side and lay low for a while. You don’t seem to be doing much, but somehow you still fill out the party nicely. Maybe one day you’ll teach us, the misshapen masses, all your secrets; but until then we’ll just be jealous of your tall stature and skinny, skinny jeans.

bite

Monday 19th November 2012

Music is...

Image Art

9

www.bathimpact.com

written by Alex Philpotts

D De Falso

Kasper

written by Robert Page

Alex Kapronos, he’s pretty fly for a white guy. Or any guy, and probably most gals

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he morning after Klaxons won the 2007 Mercury prize, NME writer Alex Miller was invited to talk on BBC Breakfast about the relatively unknown band. When the program’s presenter Fiona Bruce insinuated that music today is “all haircut and clothes” the NME writer took extreme offence and retorted with the classic line “you hardly looked like you’ve just rolled out of bed yourself.”

Surprisingly, Fiona Bruce was correct - sort of. Music is not just about your haircut and the clothes you wear, but that’s not to say it isn’t a large part of why we listen to the music we do. We all wanted to be in our favourite band or be our favorite singer when we were young, didn’t we? The way our favourite artists look is often what first attracts us to the music we love. I personally wanted/want to be Alex Kapranos from Franz Ferdinand because he wears great clothes and is really good at guitar and has an awesome name and his band play great songs and he is in Franz Ferdinand (feels good to get that off my chest). As a result, I bought a copy of NME with Franz Ferdinand on the front about 6 or 7 years ago and from that my obsession with indie music began. I’m sure many of you have had similar experiences.

Music lovers react badly to the suggestion that music is just about image, because they often can’t handle the idea that their idols are not really deep, thoughtful characters and are just cool because they wear nice clothes and look good on stage. But what’s wrong with that? Of course music shouldn’t be all surface and no feeling; there always needs to be something behind the attractive façade, and I am well aware that many artists today seem to have forgotten this, but music always has been, is, and always will be about being and specifically looking cool. Embrace it.

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Spector, style and substance

s someone who routinely listens to the sort of pretentious indie folk-rock that so many love to hate, I can appreciate that there is a sort of stigma attached to certain genres of music. It boils down to the sort of wild stereotyping that originally branded Barack Obama as a great dancer - the stereotyping that is often right for all of the wrong reasons. If you pick up an album whose cover is adorned with a flowery image of a blonde sweetheart like Taylor Swift, you’re hardly going to expect her to blurt out hardcore gangster rap. That image is there to sell you the album. It is not, however, a “you must possess this much oestrogen to appreciate this music” warning label.

To give a counter-example, an indie-rock band called Spector released their debut album back in August. You may have heard of them; if you haven’t I’ll do my best to describe their image. Fred Macpherson, lead vocalist, stylises himself with a flowered shirt, bright blazer and the kind of thick black glasses frames that are better suited to supporting industrial strength double glazing. He looks like an unpleasant accident between a truckload of hair wax and the Chelsea branch of Topman. It’s surprising then that Spector’s debut, ‘Enjoy It While It Lasts’, was actually one of the better efforts this summer.

Take the classic idiom: “don’t judge a book by its cover”. It’s stupid advice - the cover has the fucking title on it - but it’s grounded in sense. In the same manner, making a decision on a piece of music (or even an entire genre) based entirely on the image they choose to portray themselves with is, at best, naïve. Everyone who listens to music has some guilty pleasures – I for one favour Robbie Williams’ classic Swing When You’re Winning on long car journeys – and yet we have to keep them hidden away under swathes of music by mop-topped bands who name themselves after keyboard shortcuts. If nothing else, consider this: if everyone cared only about what their music taste made them look like, what the hell would they play on cheese night?

quicheisinsane

bite’s kings of image... all Bowie

Ziggy Stardust

The White Duke

The Man Who Fell To Earth

Labryrinth

Trending

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Monday 19th November 2012

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Today Winter Blues

his is a great example of casual male dressing - perfect for day-to-day wear, whether you’re studying on campus or meeting your girlfriend’s parents - you will look the part. Starting from the bottom up, Jamie’s Boat shoes are very on trend and are a sure winner for any man looking for simple style.

Widely available up and down the high-street, these sturdy beauties are perfect for a casual, easy-going look.

Jamie’s pale blue chinos keep his outfit simple; they are more interesting than denim jeans and more casual than beige or black chinos. This gives them pride of place as a staple item for any man’s wardrobe as they will be continuously useful. At £10 a pop, you can stock up with numerous colours to spice up your outfit which means you won’t have to make too many trips to the shops. Don’t worry boys, we all know you hate it.

The shirt and jumper combition is a look that appears to have been permanently stuck in the male fashion world. Easily a disaster, make sure you choose the right size and invest in a well-fitted, well-made shirt, as cheap ones will merely look as cheap as they are.

Finally, Jamie’s barbour-esque quilted jacket is a must-buy this winter. This jacket is very ‘in’ and you will be able to find hundreds on the high-street ranging from around £30 to hundreds of pounds. If you can, buy the real deal as The Barbour Shop will give you really well-made clothes that will last for decades.

Another popular item is the BarbourWax Jacket but at a pricey £199.95, most student budgets will not be able to accomodate...maybe ask Santa, and keep your fingers crossed.

bite www.bathimpact.com

Men’s Barbour Transport Waxed Jacket Barbour £199.95

Jumper Hollister £25

Quilted Jacket Republic £45 Pale Blue Chinos Primark £10

Boat Shoes River Island £35

Flazer Shirt Ted Baker £80

Vaughn Canvas Sneaker Polo Ralph Lauren £70

Monday 19th November 2012

bite

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Gold Earrings H&M £2 Dyed Trousers with Zip Zara £25.99

Suede Biker Jacket Mango £99.99

Boyfriend Jacket Escada £145

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hree words: block colour brilliance. Fay is making a bold statement with this outfit – she is power dressing, and she’s doing it well. This is the perfect example of elegant, sophisticated dressing and is an easily achievable look. The boyfriend jacket adds a playful touch to this classic t-shirt and jeans combo whilst at the same time making the outfit smart and sophisticated.

The two-toned rolled up sleeves add a note of casualness to the jacket which stops it being too smart for day-to-day wear. Her ankle grazing trousers are very in and you can find them in many high-street shops – although keep them to daywear as they might be a little nippy on the ankles on those cold winter nights!

These Guess shoes are pricey, but so worth the expense; understated and classic they will never be thrown to the back of the wardrobe.

Fay’s red lipstick keeps the outfit young and fresh – allowing her to pull off a mature look without looking too ‘mumsy’. Pick a shade that highlights your natural tones, a very dark ‘purpley’ colour is popular at the moment.

To achieve this smart style look for structured clothing, jackets are an easy option, but peplum tops provide you with a current and easy alternative – and accentuate your waist beautifully! Keep the colours neutral but add a few bright accessories to lighten up the outfit. Refer to last week’s issue for bright accessory tips and tricks!

Finally, Fay’s simple but stylish jewellery perfects this look, her cheap and cheerful earrings from H&M add sophistication in spite of their price; so now you know how easy it is to create, and master, a simple chic look.

Berry Clutch Miss Selfridge £18

Patent Peep Toe Heels Guess £89

Navy Blue Ankle Grazer Jeans H&M £25

Suede Block Heel Shoe Cos £135

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Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Sam Short

www.bathimpact.com

t n

e e m i in v Live Review:

a e t r R e t

En

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Funeral For A Friend

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Autumnal Television L written by Charlotte Lightwater

et us begin with the talent shows’ whether you hate them, loathe them or despise them, they do have their uses. For example, if you’ve had a bad day and are doubting your contributions to mankind, be comforted in the fact that there are even bigger prats than you out there. However, even within this genre of mind-numbing “entertainment”, an intellectual hierarchy exists. Strictly Come Dancing is solely reserved for the Middle Class and is largely avoided by those in the age range between 8 and 78 (which are coincidentally the exact ages of the hosts) presumably because it is broadcast at about the time the rest of us get up on a Saturday. Switch over to ITV (though do so at your own peril) and you will find their attempt at a talent show: the X Factor. Unlike Strictly, X Factor encompasses Saturday’s entire evening schedule as well as half of Sunday’s; its target market is broader age-wise, but still narrow intellectually as its use of simplistic vocabulary, big lettering and talking slowly and very loudly suggests. The fact that a third of this country are apparently glued to X Factor and another third to Strictly is a depressing thought for us remaining 20 million, but may prove handy if the apocalypse falls on a Saturday night.

For those contestants who don’t have talent, there is always the reality show - for which there is no intellectual equivalent. For instance, I’m a Celebrity is less of a guilty pleasure and more of a shameful fetish you would only own up to under torture. Also up there in the ‘most pointless wastes of your life you’ll never get back’ category is Junior Apprentice, which started last week. I truly do not understand the thinking behind lowering the age restriction of the Apprentice. Teenagers are obviously going to be less experienced in business, more temperamental with each other and more hypnotised by the increasingly approachable Alan Sugar… Oh, I get it now.

If you prefer a period drama, be sure to avoid Downton Abbey at all costs; ITV’s forte of providing a dumbed-down version of BBC programmes is used to devastating effect here. To call the set, script and outfits clichéd is an understatement of a similar degree to calling Louis Spence ‘on the camp side’.

Luckily, we can still take refuge in a few reliable little gems, such as Derren Brown, Grand Designs and the delicious QI. Year after year they don’t disappoint, and always bring something new and fresh to each series as well as educating us in the fascinating fields of illusion, design and general ignorance.

So make your viewing choices wisely in the run up to Christmas and try not to get sucked into the general consensus that spending your evenings watching Lord Sugar forcing teenagers who can’t sing eat body parts of various Australian wildlife is a valid alternative to you forcing your housemates who can’t handle their beverage to consume concoctions which wouldn’t look out of place in a jungle. It’s more entertaining live and you already have a pretty good idea of what the results will be.

written by Jack McLaren Stewart

t’s rare for our city to see high profile gigs , Moles has long been renowned for providing for those with a more alternative taste; those who seek more from an evening out than clichéd student club nights. However, its limitations in terms of capacity often leave those wanting to see bigger bands hopping on the train to Bristol. As such, it’s easy to understand why the news that one of the most iconic and influential post-hardcore bands of the 21st Century would be playing at Komedia brought equal measures of confusion and hysteria among the local rock community.

Local band ‘Landscapes’ kicked off proceedings with a decidedly underwhelming performance, peddling the kind of generic hardcore done (and done better) by countless bands across the UK. This was followed up by a slightly more entertaining, if still bland performance from Plymouth-based metalcore band ‘Brotherhood Of The Lake’ who were plagued by ear splitting feedback - and not of the good kind! The atmosphere in the venue had quickly descended from palpable excitement to an air of apathy that could surely only be quenched by the arrival of the headliners. First, though, came Japanese band ‘Crossfaith’, whose synth-fused metal provided a refreshing change from the generic hardcore preceeding it. Their infectious energy and original sound gave the crowd a much needed boost and the closing track, a cover of The Prodigy’s ‘Omen’ cemented their reputation as one of Asia’s best musical exports.

The advent of the internet has increased the speed with which music is consumed - artists can appear seemingly from nowhere and disappear into obscurity in a metaphorical heartbeat. There are, however (and always will be) some that stand the test of time; those that can produce album after album of incredible quality and musicianship. They may not be at the forefront of the scene but they form an integral and influential part of musical culture; none sum this up more than Welsh post-hardcore band Funeral For A Friend. Having spent the best part of the year recording new album ‘Conduit’, the band have spent very little time on the road - and it was evident from the start that the purpose of this show was to shake off the cobwebs. That said, more than 10 years of touring has honed the band into a finely tuned machine, and the arrival of ex-Rise to Remain drummer Pat Lundy has tightened the band’s sound as well as adding an element of urgency to proceedings. Despite playing an hour and a half long set, the band barely let up for the duration - there was very little crowd interaction and absolutely no let up in the music - but it was a fine example of a raw live show. Long may they continue.

Best in Film

written by Ron Morrow Argo Directed and starring Ben Affleck, the film centres around the Iranian uprising of 1979 and the rescue of six Americans who have been hiding out. What could have easily been a very dry subject is actually filled with suspense, while keeping the mood simultaneously serious yet lighthearted. Thankfully, despite being an American film, it manages to stay reasonably neutral and doesn’t simply label the Iranians as the bad guys. Though moving slowly at times, the addition of acting heavy-weights Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin and John Goodman as well as incredibly accurate casting, makes Argo worth the watch. 7/10 Rust and Bone If you go see this, prepare yourself for a melancholically brutual, but heart-wrenchingly moving two hours. Don’t let that put you off though, because this subtitled French film from director Jacques Audiard will leave you feeling entirely uplifted. Starring Marion Cotillard and Matthias Schoenarts as two individuals with entirely different fucked up circumstances, they become friends and try to work through their issues in a stereotypically French manner (read: sex solves everything). It’s about identity, imperfection, and making the most of what you’ve got - and it is wholly wonderful. 8/10

The Guide

Tuesday 19th November 2012

www.bathimpact.com

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bite meets... alter1fo

Caleb Wheeler Robinson

bite

Scroobius Pip First up I just wanted to say I love ‘Distraction Pieces’, it was one of my favourite albums of last year and I was just wondering, how long were you writing those songs? Were the songs that were originally going to be on a Dan le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip album or a set project from the start?

Yeah, that’s a weird one because some were long and some were really short. I basically decided to do the solo album because I’d written ‘Try Dying’ and most of ‘Let ‘em Come’ and ‘Death of the Journalist’ when me and Dan were writing, but felt like they needed that more hardcore and punky kind of vibe about them and they weren’t working, ‘Try Dying’ was the one where me and Dan tried a good few beats but it just wouldn’t work. So I decided to go down that route and then all the rest were written in the process of making those three so by the time we’d finished we’d written a load more songs and worked with a load of other producers on it, so it was all quite quick.

Music

Arts

Listen to the guide on 1449AM URB on Mondays at six for more information on local events

Gabrielle Alpin, Monday 19th November at Thekkla, Bristol. Tickets: £8

Bath Film Festival, 14-25th November at Various Locations in Bath. Tickets: Various

YouTube sensation (the good kind) and Bath native Gabrielle Alpin brings her soft acoustic tones to Bristol as part of a UK mini tour. After causing a sensation at age 14 by posting a cover to youtube (it now has over 630,000 views) she has since released 3 EPs and headlined sold out tours. Definitely one to watch.

Taking place in 7 locations across Bath and including films, workshops and events, The Bath Film Festival returns to our streets again to bring a buzz to the streets of Bath. Featuring hundreds of films from every genre, includng the best that independent cinema has to offer, the festival also offers workshops and events, such as the The IMDb Awards for new film makers.

DJ Fresh, Tuesday 20th November at O2 Academy, Bristol. Tickets: £15 Touring his new album “Nextlevelism” - which contains hits like “Louder”. “Hot Right Now” and “Gold Dust” - DJ Fresh brings his Fresh Live tour to Bristol following his sold out tour from earlier in the year. One of the UK’s premier D ‘n B and dubstep artist, being the first artist with a UK number one in both genres, he graced our Summer Ball last year - so many of you will know what to expect and look out for an exclusive interview with him on The Guide show on 1449AMURB. A.Skillz, Saturday 24th November at Moles, Bath. Tickets: £7 Creator of many a mini-mix for Annie Mac on Radio One (he has previously won the best mix of the year on her show) and recent winner of both “Best DJ” and “Best Track” at Breakspoll International Breakbeat Awards, A.Skillz brings his insane ability to Bath.

Able to mash up any type of music, this show will be full of world class mixing , not one to be missed considering it’s so close.

The Utopian talk-show line-up with Sophie Warren and Jonathan Mosley at ICIA Space 2, November 22nd. Tickets: Free A live event of rapid-fire three-minute readings from science fiction to critical texts that explore how to play utopia.

Scroobius Pip: Spoken word and poetry set, December 9th at The Fleece, Bristol. Tickets: £7 The lyrical mastermind behind Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip embarks on his first spoken word tour in years, after headlining the Spoken Word tent at Latitude Festival this summer to a crowd of over 4000 people. This comes off the back of his highly successful solo album ‘Distraction Pieces’, which saw him play festivals up and down the country to large crowds. Along with rising star Kate Tempest, Pip will let his lyrical genius takes centre stage, with this tour coinciding with the release of “No Commercial Breaks – Special Edition”, a re-release of his critically acclaimed first spoken word album. See an exerpt from our interview with him to the right.

You’ve done Distraction Pieces, DLS vs. SP and Spoken Word shows all summer, is it difficult to keep the three shows going at the same time?

Yeah, I try not to keep the three going. Me and Dan are intentionally not doing many because we don’t want it to be too confusing for the crowds. After the last two tours you’d expect to see me and the band, but if I did more than one or two shows with Dan or more than a few spoken word shows then you wouldn’t know what you’re gonna get.

Although the shows you’ve played have been pretty massive.

Yeah there’s some big ones in there. The Frank Turner one was great fun, and just to be on there with Billy Bragg, we’ve done a load of shows with Billy and he always blows me away and always been a huge fan of him.

So you said you’re going back in the studio with Dan, any idea when that’s coming out?

Not sure, Dan’s got a solo record and he’s going to be really busy with that and once he’s got a chance he’s going to send some beats over and we’ll get writing. There’s not a set time line but it’s definitely our next priority.

Is that the writing process then, he sends beats over and you send lyrics back?

It really varies. It’ll always be quite email based, I’ll have some lyrics I’ll send over and he’ll build something around it or vice versa. At the moment it works best because we don’t know what the record is going to sound like the starting point is going to be seeing what Dan’s feeling at the moment and seeing what clicks. *See the rest of the interview on www.bathimpact.tumblr.com

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Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Travel Blog: Get on with it

www.bathimpact.com

Gemma Isherwood Gemma sent us this photo just to add that extra bit of jealousy to our reading. Thanks a bunch Gemma Honestly, it feels great. I can also say with relative sureness that Australia is no longer the land of convicts - and if trouble does befall you you’re not going to be left to the wild urban koalas.

So don’t pretend you’re worried about that, either.

There’s no point wasting time romanticising the wonders of travelling the globe when, in reality, you’re looking at spending summer getting drunk in various bars around your hometown.

Sure; it’s fun once. I’ve done it. But, right now, we all have the

rather refreshing chance to go somewhere really incredible without sacrificing a job or feeling like we’re too old. So get on with it. March on down to the travel agent, pick some dates, compare some prices... and I’ll see you at the Opera Bar. *Disclaimer: I’m personally not 100 per cent convinced that there are things more exciting than Jack Daniels, but I’ll let it slide for the purposes of the example.

Phil Delfryn

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llow me, if I may, to briefly carry you away from the supercoolness of this issue of bite in order to firmly plant a boot between your buttocks and make that dream travel plan a reality.

I imagine you’d like an explanation, so here goes: I live in Sydney at the moment due to a happy accident involving someone thinking I would be a good research assistant. My plans to someday visit the friends, family, sights and cities in this wonderful country have been conveniently forced into reality, far sooner than I had planned. Even before all this, however, I knew of several handfuls - make that bucketfuls - of people who went on and on about wanting to travel to Australia, wanting to rent a bike and thunder up the East Coast, go diving on the Great Barrier Reef and all manner of things in between. Now I’m here, most people I speak to still gush about really wanting to visit, how they’d love to see Harbour Bridge and Surfer’s Paradise. Most people tell me they’re jealous and would love to just jump on a plane and go, but, oddly, none of them seem to have actually thought about getting up, going to the travel agent and doing it.

I’m going to make it really easy for you.

The way I see it, you’ve just got to start doing things. Don’t dillydally and worry about oh, but I miss my friend’s birthday or what about my girlfriend; just buy your tickets, book your hostels and go. It feels amazing. Sure, for most people, myself included, it involves a certain amount of saving up but student loans might as well be wasted on something more exciting than Jack Daniels*.

There’s so much to see and do that you’re almost doing yourself a disservice by not taking the chance while it’s there.

There are entire companies based on finding the cheapest and most exciting deal, so don’t pretend to be intimidated by the complexity of it all. Don’t pretend the long distance scares you (there’s no concept of distance travelled on a plane and very little concept of time) and don’t make out that you’re worried about getting lost or mugged or drowned. All of those things are equally likely to happen on a misjudged night in Bristol. Sure, it’s a long way to go, but the internet is squeezing the corners of the world ever closer together and it’s not hard to keep in touch with friends and loved ones. Not that you’d want to; you should be too busy taking photos of everything and marvelling at the extraordinary sensation of being thousands of miles away from everything that’s familiar.

written by Gemma Isherwood

Movember bite

Monday 19th November 2012

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www.bathimpact.com

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James Hunter

4 The general coverage of the upper lip if promising for this moustache to bloom into a full bodied lady killer by the end of November. The origins of this traditional style of moustache have been traced back to Ancient Greece and the island of Sparta. It is is considered fact in some historical circles that the moustache was key to the strength of the Spartans at Thermopylae (as seen by Gerard Butler’s wonderful facial hair in the film 300). The Persians were forced

by Xerxes to be clean shaven and as such could not compete with the sheer manliness of the Spartan warriors.

This effort by Sonny Raymer Flemming is well on it’s way to being a fine Mexican moustache. A little known fact is that the American-Mexican war of 1846 was actually caused by a mass exodus of women from the southern states to Mexico due to the appeal of the banditos facial hair. American moustache technology was lagging behind Mexico at the time so there was no option other than military intervention. http://uk.movember.com/mospace/2454854

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This fine moustache is reminiscent of George Clooney, wetter of... palletes everywhere. The Clooney is actually banned in many countries due to it’s ability to render women flustered, overly randy and in some instances even cause a massive fluctuationa and increase in gravity around the pants area.

The Large Hadron Collider was actually designed to investigate this physically phenomenon.

Sonny Raymer Flemming

Ron Morrow

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Hayley Whitehorn

Here we have a fine growth of facial hair that could well be on its way to a magnificent handlebar mousache, the King of all Moustaches. The handlebar was first invented in 1920 when Eric J. Handle was thrown over the handlebars of his motorbike and his previously bushy moustache became caught. His momentum curled the moustache into the distinct shape we now admire so much and the female paramedics who attended him apparently proposed on the spot. http://mobro.co/jameshunter3

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You tried I guess. That’s really what Movember is about isn’t it?

Raising money for RAG and Cancer research. Everyone enjoys seeing fine specimens of man meat with manliness gushing forth from their manly man faces, but it’s not for everyone. The more modest attempts, while sometimes inducing mocking and hilarity, are also a fine effort. These nearly moustaches may not bring uncontrollable lust or multiple offers of multiple partner intercourse - but they can bring light-hearted humour and some relief to anyone suffering a particularly bad day.

Who knows, it may also bring some pity sex from a charitable woman or four.

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Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Sex Column: Keeping cool

www.bathimpact.com

efore I penetrated him, John Travolta - obviously sensing my nerves - whispered to me “be cool”. Obviously that didn’t happen - but if I did I’m sure I would have remained cool, or would I? Let’s face it, being cool when embarking on sexual endeavours with a new partner isn’t top on the priority list. Men devote most of their time just persuading someone to sleep with them and as for women, well. I’m not entirely sure (we’ll come to that).

So is it important to be cool? In my opinion, there is a brief window within which the phenomenon of being cool exists, something like the brief period within which one has to drop ones proton torpedoes down a small thermal exhaust port in the Death Star (not an innuendo) though I have woken up with a few death stars in my time, or was that dead freshers? [citation needed] and don’t even get me started on thermal exhaust ports. For all those who didn’t understand the Star Wars reference, it’s just like that bit in Twilight where “blllleeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrgggggggh, werewolf!”

So anyway; being cool mostly exists through effort, which is a by-product of desire. We all know in the majority of cases, this desire is fleeting in relationships, in the form that it at least once was at the beginning. Said desire relinquishes when each partner has put on sufficient weight so as not to embark upon any course of potential infidelity. Obviously there’s not much need to impress once you’ve got her/him in the landing net, ask my girlfriend, she’s more than happy to moisturise my belly until I fall asleep. So, I’m going to talk more about those briefer encounters. When I first started having sex, just the part about getting someone to have sex with me was where all my attention lay, even just trying to help them refrain from telling me to ‘fuck off’ was a bonus, the ins and outs of coitus could look after themselves, if they ever manifested. Eventually, after my talents to repulse were vanquished by my extreme sexual prowess, ensued, mishap, after mishap and this issue had to be addressed. It seems for some people it’s enough to arrive in the room wearing nothing but a sock on their willy and a pair of shades (on their willy). In the eyes of a heterosexual man, all women have to do is the following a) be conscious b) have a thermo exhaust port at the ready and 3. Not shit themselves; though the final one isn’t essential.

Some tips for blokes wanting to up their cool points 1. Take your socks off immediately after you get home. Really though, I think my main point is, there is no cool, nobody’s looking for it, once you’re there, the walls and pretences and ideas of cool which society would have us believe are actually tangible are GONE, once we’re in our Edenic state. There’s just a few faux-pas that we all need to make before we sus it, but if the person likes you and you make a cute apology there’s nothing a good few orgasmic marathons can’t fix. The socks, that’s the main one. Use a condom, and watch Star Wars.

chaines106

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written by Ben Hooper

Stay cool, keep your calm and be smooth, then look at the Sexy Darth Vader more

Agony Aunts, Lucy and Edie

Our agony aunts return from their discussions of cats, knitting and whether length, width or enthusiasm is more important to answer your deepest, darkest and most personal problems in a totally non judgmental way... okay maybe they judge a bit, but at least they eventually stop laughing long enough to reply. To send in your problems, email them at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk Dear Lucy and Edie, My girlfriend told me that I was boring in bed. I tried all of that Fifty Shades crap and it went completely wrong. I tried to be romantic and lovey-dovey but she still hates it. She’s started to hang around all of the quirky kids around uni and I’m worried I will lose her to these guys. How can I be more cool and indie in bed?

Rob First let’s go back to basics. Find your dirtiest, oldest underwear. Feel free to rip extra holes in your pants for that authentic vintage feel • Wear your hippest glasses. Remember boys: the smaller the penis, the bigger the glasses. Don’t worry if you don’t actually need to wear glasses, true Indies have no need for lenses • Wear a false moustache. This creates the illusion of mystery and adds a touch of refined elegance to the affair. Plus, if it falls of halfway through, it makes things far more interesting • Orgasms are far too mainstream for you, stop just before climax. Your Indie Chick will love this and believe you to be deep, respectful and totally rad • To heighten your pleasure, make sure you refer to our playlist ‘Songs to Make Your Hips Stir’, because if films like 500 Days of Summer have taught us anything is that if you’re mostly devoid of actual passion, intelligence and romance then music can key. Listening to the Smiths together can turn two incredibly annoying self obsessed individuals into two incredibly annoying self obsessesed individuals with slightly better taste in music. As such we recommend creating a playlist to bring some movement back to the bedroom, he’s what we recommend bite’s Very Own Indie Sex Playlist: Songs to make your hips stir.

1. Closer - Nine Inch Nails, fucking like an animal instead of a regular human is so hot right now.

2. Let’s Make Love and Listen to the Death From Above - CSS, Anything to do with sex and death is so fucking deep.

3. Too Drunk to Fuck - Dead Kennedys, Let’s face it, we’ve all been there. The song can explain why your dick is still floppy.

4. Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer, This is ideal for those indie moments where you want to just make love.

5. Dance Naked Under Palmtrees - Mo’Horizons, Don’t just listen to this song, act it out as well.

Beds are so overrated anyway.

Dear Lucy and Edie, I have a confession to make. Tequila has recently been responsible for the demise of my already-limited self control, the horrific tarring of my reputation and many an awkward run-in the next awful, sober morning. And now the horror of tequila has started infiltrating the rest of my life. Casual trip on the U10, you say? Humiliating journey of shame, I say.

This particular, and disgusting shot has encouraged me to many a stupid thing in my past. Lapdancing someone I then had to work with for the rest of the week was fun. As was getting with my, albeit lovely, female housemate at the beginning of the year.

Last week, tequila reassured me that yes, the late-middle-aged bus driver with the earring and the gold tooth was, in fact, incredibly attractive. After several weeks of flirting in pursuit of a free 10-journey pass (it’s amazing what breasts can do), a home-delivery service and an altered route or two later, I decided to step it up to the next level.

One incredibly happy Happy Hour later (yes, I literally only lasted an hour before I had to go home. Word to the wise: ten tequilas at six o’clock is not a good idea.

Ever), I made my way home. It was then that my realisation of the bus driver’s (let’s call him Ed) model-potential hit me. With tequila and a distinct lack of food in my system, I decided that he was hot. And that taking him home to my cosy double bed, along with several traffic cones I found along the way and the promise of a free 36week bus pass, was the best idea ever.

Very strange sex later (punctuated with dirty talk featuring the line ‘Do you want a single or return, you bad, bad girl?’), I awoke to find the promised bus pass on the pillow next to me, and nothing left of my midnight suitor, other than a faint smell of cigarettes, petrol and McDonald’s later.

Needless to say, I walked to campus the next day.

Definitely anonymous Well... thanks for the confession I guess. I don’t think we really have an answer to this story, it just needed to be told. At least he came good on the bus pass.

Monday 19th November 2012

bite

Cocktails www.bathimpact.com

written by Lily Morris

Virgin Cuba Libre

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As well as being famous for our sports, we’re also famously good at science here at Bath, and who’s everyone’s favourite theoretical physicist but Sheldon Cooper? In case you’re getting to the stage where you can no longer spell ‘theoretical,’ you might want to revert to his favourite cocktail – a diet, virgin, Cuba Libre. Or in other words, a Rum and Coke, without the Rum. If you want to continue your drinking however, just deflower the virgin and add Rum to taste.

Fill a glass halfway with ice, or whatever suits your fancy

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2

Top up the glass by adding Coke or Diet Coke for a more healthy approach

For an impressive look add a slice of lemon or lime

For anyone interested in improving their cocktail skills, Cocktail Masterclasses at the Revolution Bar in Bath come recommended. Your friends will be more than impressed.

Slippery Nipple

As you all know, Bath is a sports uni, and one of the sports that we’re famously fairly good at is swimming. And everyone wants to pull a swimmer. But if you can’t, you can drown your sorrows with a Slippery Nipple. Half your mates will be very impressed with this, but the rest will just lecture you on the different densities of the liquids.

1

Fill a shot glass halfway with Sambuca

3 Pimm’s Winter Cup If you aren’t a repressed, British and middle class you probably don’t have very fond memories of Pimm’s. In the summer, it’s filled with mint and strawberry and cucumber and we drink it semiwarmed by the depressingly damp barbeque that we insist on having because it’s July, god-dammit! Don’t look at the sky! It’s summertime and the weather is fucking fine. Rain? Nope. Can’t feel a thing. Not. A. Thing.

It’s beginning to get ridiculous cold outside, and to warm us up with a drink our parents would approve of – Pimm’s Winter Cup. It’s brandy- based and has extra spices and orange peel in it.

2

Pour Bailey’s gently on top of the Sambuca so that the liquids do not mix

To further highlight your skills, drop some grenadine or a cherry on top

Vesper Martini

Now, as if there hasn’t already been enough coverage of the new Bond film, if you want to pick up an Eva Green-esque girl, make a Vesper Martini, bro! Fortunately, in the book of Casino Royale, Fleming described exactly how to make it.

1

Three measures of Gordon’s, one of vodka, and a half measure of Kina Lillet (no longer existing), and a few drops of Angostura Bitters

3

2

Shake the above in step one and put it in a fairly cool martini glass

To add appeal to your drink add the famous large thin slice of lemon peel

1

Heat 150ml of Pimm’s No. 3 Winter Cup in a small saucepan

3

2

Additionally, add 400ml apple juice, one apple cut into chunks, half an orange into chunks, and a few shakes of cinnamon powder into the saucepan

Heat until simmering, then let it cool down a bit before pouring into glass

4

Add ice and additional slices of fruit for visual appeal

17

Tuesday 6th November 2012

bite

19

www.bathimpact.com

Issue 5

Monday 19th November 2012

facebook.com/mintyfresh

Best Dressed

We’re not entirely sure if we’re really high while looking at this, but we definitely know that we’re quite scared

Monumental Tits of The Night

I’m serious, I hate you all It’s... wait for it... ‘PANDAMONIUM!” Hahahahahaha, I made a funny. Well Imogen did and we’re using it

When they find my note after the massacre, Score will become a household name, until then it is confined to these pages.

I’m not saying I despise you guys, but if rescuing you from a fire meant that I’d suffer minor injuries and take 15 minutes out of my day, I’d get some marshmallows and watch.

The main reason for this is that Grandmaster Flash is playing Bath tonight and I have to be in the clubbing equivalent of a penal colony with you guys instead. He invented DJ’ing as we know it and designed the cross fader out of parts he found in a scrap yard.

You got out of bed, said something stupid and had a wank.

Still, I agreed to write this so on we go. Score was emptier than our last venture inside and at first this seemed like a good thing.

Then we realised this meant that maybe more of its usual residents might be in the nice places that we go to and now there were more couches for drunken couples to dry hump on. Huzzah!

Earlier in the night we were serenaded in the bathimpact office with slurred words that brought pain to our ears, but hahaha the people doing it all looked like their dads and think they look

1449am URB 1449URB.co.uk

cool. Inside the same people managed to steal plastic guns from another sports club (yayy, stickers for you) and one of them asked a group of girls in the smoking area, “is it legal if I finger you?”.

Bless their cotton socks.

The ‘Pandamonia’ people managed to lighten our mood and prove that the scientific consensus on their inabilty to mate is bullshit. Clearly all China needed to do was get them in a dark room with some vodka and let the bad decisions flourish.

Apparently 2010 finally came to Score this week as everyone thought photobombing was a brilliant thing that must be all the time in every photo. Ask us for a photo, then ruin it, you guys are so awesome.

Last notes: To the douchebags raving by the DJ who seemed to have everything pre mixed, you’re not fucking Tiesto. To the people dressed as cats, it’s not halloween and cats still aren’t sexy.

Guy in the tiger onsie with the tiger tattoo... we get it. Smoking area Imogen, you were actually quite lovely and we would probably save you from a small to mid sized fire.

CTV

youtube.com/bathctv

The hahaha they look like their dads people who serenaded us and then generally piss us off. See the article for reference

Quote of the Night “Do we look like fucking pandas or fucking idiots?”

- Some Pandamonium people answering their own question

bathimpact

facebook.com/bathimpact

20

Monday 19th November 2012

Puzzle Corner

This week’s crossword theme is Greek Mythology. Not something that’s cool you say? Well you’re wrong. They’re cool; I’m cool. I know I am because my Mum says so... Now leave me alone!

Down 1. The Titan who created men and gave them fire (10) 2. Three-headed guardian of the Underworld (7) 4. Creatures who are halfman, half horse (7) 5. Legendary musician who braved the Underworld to unsuccessfully rescue his wife (7) 7. Flying steed of Bellerophon (7) 10. Completer of the twelve labours (8) 11. The god of light and music (6) 12. Home of the Greek Gods (7) 14. Malevolent riddler who guarded the gates of Thebes (6) 16. The woman created as punishment for the theft of fire (7) 18. The primordial giant who had his hundreds of eyes preserved in a peacocks tail (5) 19. Queen of the Underworld and wife of Hades (10) 21. The boastful weaver who’s arrogance led to her being turned into a spider (7) 22. Greek god of revelry (8) 24. Poseidon’s signature symbol (7) 25. Leader of the Argonauts (5) 26. Messenger of the Gods (6) 29. The river Achilles was dipped in to give him his invulnerability (4)

Across 3. The god of war (4) 5. The innovator behind the Trojan Horse (8) 6. The greatest warrior of Troy (6) 8. Slayer of the Minotaur (7) 9. Legendary beast composed of the parts of a lion, a goat and a snake (7) 13. Designer of the Labyrinth (8) 15. The personification of the Sun (6) 17. Musical instrument invented by the faun-like god of the wild (8) 20. The man with the golden touch (4,5) 23. Resident of the Underworld who was tortured by being bound to a flying wheel of fire (5) 27. Young man who flew too close to the sun (6) 28. The only mortal Gorgon (6) 30. The face that launched a thousand ships (5,2,4) 31. Beautiful but deadly creatures that use their voices to lure sailors to their watery doom (6) 32. Mother of Achilles (6) 33. Nymph who fell in love with Narcissus and was cursed with only being able to repeat words said to her (4)

bite

Horoscopes www.bathimpact.com



 Scorpio

October 23 - November 21

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career.

Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and Trainspotting on DVD.

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

Now I’m not saying LSD will help, but “Hey there talking rabbit, why aren’t you wearing any pants?”



Capricorn

December 22 - January 20

Vague angry grunting noises… sorry, this is a Daily Mail readers horoscope.

 Aquarius January 21 - February 19

You’re a cool kind of guy. You wear Hollister tops, say things like Lad and consume trends like Rupert Murdoch consumes orphans. The best way to appreciate your coolness is to take a big step back, AND FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.



Pisces

February 20 - March 20

It’s okay if you don’t get these, just smile and laugh like when people use big words

 Aries

March 21 - April 20 There’s an easy way to get that popular group of friends you desire, be cool and strong like a lion. Kill the alpha male and all his children then impregnate the women with your seed.

 Taurus

April 21 - May 20

You’re a bit down today, but cheer up with this fact. Mitt Romney spent over a billion dollars to ultimately only feel resentment, anger, sadness and the feeling he’s let everyone down. Sucker, I get that every day without spending a penny.

 Gemini May 21 - June 20

Breaking Bad, Tuesdays at 9 on NBC and again on Thursdays at… okay I think that was a satellite not a star, but Breaking Bad is awesome so I say it still counts.

 Cancer

June 21 - July 21

If you stick the number 42 on the bottom of a bottle of vodka then technically the answer is at the bottom of a bottle, you’ll have made an awesome Hitchikers Guide joke and you’ll be drunk. Win, win, win.

 Leo

July 22 - August 22

Chill Sudoku

Heavy Sudoku

Now I’m not saying that you’re a shallow woman who seeks men with wealth, but you must admit you aren’t with a poorer gentleman of the hood are you? Now descend madam, go forth descend.

 Virgo

August 23 - September 22

You can do this coursework. I believe in you! All of bite and bathimpact believe in you. Now get some Relentless, some cookies, some motivation and a fucktonne of Adderal and cunt punt that essay so hard the lecturer feels it

 Libra

September 23 - October 22 Darius N. www.gonescribbling.tumblr.com

Something about fluffy kittens and puppies to make up for the fact that I just used the phrase cunt punt.

Student Enterprise Supplement

VIRTUAL REVISION? Winners of the first ever Apps Crunch Competition are changing the way you learn.

IT’S NOT THE WINNING THAT COUNTS…

Why the Business Plan Competition is a whole lot more than just a chance to win £1000

Win an ElephantBranded bag!

Monday 19th November 2012 bathstudent.com/enterprise

N

It’s not the winning that counts...

ic Carey & Yael Fainsilber are losers. They got all the way to the final of the Student Union’s ‘Business Plan Competition’ in 2011, but failed to win the £1,000 prize. Some people would have given up at that point, but a lot of what makes an entrepreneur is not about specific skills and talent, but a drive to face challenges, get knocked down and then keep right on going. They’ve got that drive by the bucket load; it’s infectious, and it comes from having a true passion for the project you are working on.

Nic & Yael’s business, like so many start-ups, looks very different now to when they began. In 2010 they launched ‘Take Note’ notebooks in Bath, giving away free pads of paper

to students, paid for by adverts and voucher deals inside. It was very successful (who doesn’t like free stuff?), but producing a physical product isn’t cheap - and so the profit margins were tight. The pair had big ambitions for the venture as well, and knew that if they wanted to expand to other universities the distribution costs would soon rack up. However, the voucher side of the business proved very popular with both students and businesses in the city keen to attract new customers.

Using this as a base, Nic & Yael adapted the model into an online platform for delivering vouchers, tickets and moneysaving tips to cash-strapped students. The re-branded “Urban

Tribe” website launched in 2011 and now boasts thousands of members in Bath, with a national roll-out in the pipeline.

There are many other good reasons why entrants into the Enterprise Bath Business Plan Competition don’t need to win to succeed; you are teamed up with a mentor throughout the process to be guided while developing your plan. This is a valuable link and one that entrants often maintain after the competition is over. Even if the venture isn’t a success some students have gained jobs or placements out of the process.

Additionally, all the skills learned during this, and other Enterprise Bath events, are transferable and invaluable in interviews and on your C.V.

"Hello, my name is Lucian Morris and I am a Senior Manager with Deloitte. I've been a judge at the last two pitching events for the Business Plan Competition and I really enjoy having the chance to meet enterprising students and hear their business ideas. There is always an incredible mix of ideas that come through, and what I love most is that even if the concepts are not fully developed yet, the students are always hugely passionate about them and willing to accept advice and feedback. It's a great learning and building experience for everyone and I'm looking forward to the next event in February 2013."

Monday 19th November 2012 bathstudent.com/enterprise

Virtual revision?

Inline with the first ever Bath Digital Festival in March 2012, BANTER (Bath Entrepreneurs) launched the University into a new dimension of digital enterprise with the introduction of its first Apps Crunch competition. The competition looked to crown the most exciting app ideas on Campus and facilitated the collaboration between students from various departments to pool their technical, design and business skills to produce an array of unique mobile apps.

The winner received a VIP project place at the first XMedia Lab in Bath where students spent three days working on their idea with creative experts from around the world.

Mentors included the writer of the Avatar and Halo storylines and the head of programming at YouTube New York. Second place gave students the opportunity to develop their app with Bath-based app development company Intohand.

With the University being such a large but relatively untapped market for app developers, it was great to see that the majority of ideas spawned from competitors’ everyday student life. Some finalists developed apps that improved the general clubbing experience, allowing them to buy tickets, assess how full clubs are and get drink deals by linking phones together with friends. Other ideas included a recipe app, which could build recipes from what you have left in the fridge!

With such an abundance of talent on campus, the judges were delighted with the strength of all the ideas. However, first place went to first years James Isbister (Computer Science and Maths) and Alex Marshall (GIMML) whose app Virtual Loci aims to change the way we learn.

Based on an ancient method of revision (the “Method of Loci”) the app allows the user to virtually attach their learning resources (i.e. videos, photos, websites, theorems and definitions) to objects in photos of places they know really well.

The idea is that every student has a 3D image of hundreds of places, like campus and Bath, ingrained into their brain.

They can remember where the pencils are in Little Fresh but they can’t remember the definition they were taught 10 minutes ago in a lecture. The app allows users to build up maps and journeys of their photos and then attach information to different objects in these photos.

Alex and James hope that when it comes to revision time, students can simply go on a walk and practice recalling the information as they go. When a student goes into an exam he just has to think of the daily walk from his room to the lecture theatre and he will recall the information from the trees and buildings naturally ingrained into his memory. The Method of Loci has been proven to increase long-term memory recall by around 70%!

Mech Eng graduate Dominic Povey started his enterprise back in 2009 by entering the Uni Popshop competition, selling homemade soup for a profit. Spurred on by the feedback received from customers during the competition, Dominic Povey, Jason Malone and Ed Smyth decided to formally launch the company as The Bath Soup Company and it became incorporated on the 1st January 2010.

In the summer of 2010, The Bath Soup Company created another pop-up shop. This time, The Bath Soup Company Canteen was open for a whole month in Milsom Place and brought together local producers to offer a “best

of the West” food experience. The boys wanted to see exactly what the Bath Soup Company could achieve.

The Bath Soup Company Canteen was a huge success, with both tourists and residents alike. A huge range of local suppliers were featured during the month to offer a genuine “Best of the West” collection of local food, and free cordial was offered in exchange for donations to Julian House, raising £140 for the local homeless charity.

The biggest thing to come out of the Canteen was the way in which Bath Soup Company connected up different areas of the community and the positive result that

It was unsurprising that Virtual Loci was described as “revolutionary” by the judges and the pair is now close to releasing the app on to the Apple iOS market in the coming months!

James and Alex say that “Enterprise Bath’s Apps Crunch competition, technical support and place at the Bath Digital Festival have been instrumental in inspiring us to get started in app development. It has got us to start using our course skills in ways we didn’t think possible. The three day XMedia Lab made us feel like Will and Jazz from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air as we turned up in suits to the Roman Baths, Assembly Rooms and Peter Gabriel’s Real World Studios to promote our ideas to the business elite.”

Soup-a-man

this created. The team realized that Bath Soup had the potential to become something very special, a commercial business that’s dedicated to making a positive social contribution.

Today The Bath Soup Company operates as a social enterprise, giving local homeless people the opportunity to learn new skills at a six-week long Bath Soup School.

The weekly soup school sessions produce fresh soup using local ingredients, which is sold in cafes and restaurants across the city. Those enrolled in Soup School learn how to make bread and soup, how to plant and grow vegetables at Bath City Farm, and take a health and hygiene certificate before a paid work-experience placement selling their soup. They can graduate with a Soup School diploma and some valuable skills. Dominic is working with Julian House and The Big Issue Foundation and is hoping to expand the scheme across the UK. This year ideas like Dom’s are easier than ever to get off the ground as Enterprise Bath has been successfully awarded £25,000 from UnLtd (the leading provider of support to social entrepreneurs in the UK) to fund University staff and students in their social enterprise ventures.

Dom confirmed the value of the UnLtd funding at the Enterprise Launch earlier this year “We have been lucky enough to receive both Try It and Do It UnLtd funding, which has been invaluable in developing The Bath Soup Company.” As an ex-Enterprise Bath member he expressed the virtues of the funding available for Bath University students. “All the funding available to Bath students are grants, not loans. This is free money – something that doesn’t happen very often in the real world so take advantage while you can”.

To find out more about UnLtd Funding visit: www.bathstudent.com/enterprise/UnLtd/

Monday 19th November 2012 bathstudent.com/enterprise

This summer, the University of Bath triumphed over 5 other universities at the Uni Popshop competition held in London’s Spitalfields Market. The a team of five Bath students spent the day as market traders selling ElephantBranded bags – an enterprise venture founded by James Boon (Final Year Architecture). The key to this success was perhaps tied to the savvy selling skills of the team.

However, more realistically, success was largely due to the products they were selling.

ElephantBranded sells ethically made, recycled bags and related products. For each product it sells, it donates a school bag and kit to a child in Africa or Asia. The socially responsible enterprise pays fair, competitive wages to the workers who make its bags out of locally sourced, recycled materials. It also gives people the opportunity to learn valuable skills that give them a sustainable, effective way to get out of poverty.

Having been successful in the Uni Popshop competition James has gone on to build his venture and has since appeared on the BBC television series Be Your Own Boss as well as starting to sell his products through major retailers such as John Lewis and ASOS. Along the way James has become a delegate for StartUp Britain and also won the Google Young Minds competition in 2012. This has given him the opportunity to meet some famous and influential people including former US president Bill Clinton.

James has certainly learned a lot thus far on his entrepreneurial journey, but there is something about market trading via pop-up shops that offers uniqueness to his

Win an ElephantBranded bag!

Uni Popshop

experiences.

“Selling at pop-up shops allows us to learn from the general public about our products, approach and most importantly, what we are really all about”, says James.

“Our values are the heart of our business and without them we would have a more difficult time standing out against the competition. Our products are unique, their bright colours initially attract our customers, but it is our values and vision for ElephantBranded that keeps customers coming back to our brand”.

“Pop-up shops are a great way to really try out that business idea you have, or to simply grow an existing business. It provides an exciting platform to springboard off and can really make that difference for your business”.

Following this success Enterprise Bath are giving you the opportunity to run your own popshop: Uni Popshop – Market Stall is your chance to try out your business and product ideas, promote your ventures and make some money!

Teams can pitch their ideas to have our Uni Popshop on-campus market stall for one day to sell their products.

If we like your idea we will grant the team a £50 loan to get started. Any profits you make after the loan is paid back will be yours to keep.

We have started accepting pitch entries so email enterprise@bath.ac.uk for your chance to pitch and sell sell sell. This event will be held every Thursday during term time so there will be lots of opportunities to try out your ideas.

Visit Enterprise Bath on Facebook and share this photo of the Uni Popshop winners with the Apprentice winner Tom Pellereau for your chance to win.

Enterprise Bath Calendar