Your newspaper. Your news. Volume 14 Issue 7
Monday 11th February 2013
www.bathimpact.com University of Bath
Bath is set for a Royal welcome • Current Chancellor to step down from role at the end of the academic year • His Royal Highness The Earl of Wessex set to take on the position in August
NEWS
Helen Edworthy discusses the legislation being voted on in Parliament, which is seeking to legalise gay marriage. The new legislation has caused much controversy within Parliament and throughout the country. See page 4 for more
jor contribution to the life of the University. He will be an excellent advocate for us both nationally and internationally which is why we are making this recommendation to our Court.” According to the University website, “The Court is the statutory body representing the interests of the University’s internal and external constituencies” and is required to meet at least once a year. His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex will now oversee The Court which, in actuality, is a largely ceremonial body with little power over the day to day management of University affairs. The appointment is due to be formally discussed at a meeting of the University Court on
Environmental correspondent Holly Narey confirms what we have all been thinking: cats are trying to take over the world. She looks into the environmental effect the pets have had all over the world and how we can stop their challenge for world domination. See page 18 for more
bite
I
t has been announced that the current Chancellor of the University of Bath, Lord Tugendhat, will retire after fourteen years of holding the position. Lord Tugendhat is to be replaced by His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex, also known as Prince Edward. The position of Chancellor at the University of Bath is an honorary role; the main aspect being that the Chancellor becomes the most high profile representative of the University. Securing such an eminent figure to take the position of Chancellor is a major marketing coup for the current University administration. In this way,
the appointment of His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex could be seen to demonstrate the rising status of the University of Bath itself. As far as students are concerned, the impact of this announcement will be felt most by graduating classes. This year will be the last set of graduates to receive their degrees from Lord Tugendhat, who attends the ceremonies to officially award departing students with their new qualifications. His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex will be taking up his new role from the 1st August, 2013. The Vice-Chancellor, Professor Dame Glynis Breakwell has made the following statement regarding the appointment: “[His Royal Highness] can make a ma-
SCIENCE
Liv Hows News & Comment Editor impact-news@bath.ac.uk
12 March. His Royal Highness is very involved with his father’s programme, the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award, and is very interested in sports. It is partly due to this interest that he was seen to be the ideal candidate for the role. He is also attached to some eighty nine other organisations on behalf of the Queen and holds eight military appointments. He was known as Prince Edward until his marriage to Sophie Rhys Jones in 1999, whereupon she also became the Countess of Wessex. As the Queens’ youngest son, His Royal Highness the Earl of Wessex is seventh in line to the throne according to both descent and Parliamentary statute.
bite meets Frank Turner, the folk-punk troubadour from Wessex, after his recent show at the Bath Pavilion to discuss touring, his new album, playing hardcore again, the Olympics and his favourite albums and moments of 2012.
bite page 12 for more
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Monday 11th February 2013
bathimpact
Editorials
Facebook page faces closure A
nd in many other universities, the Spotted pages that gained popularity during the exam period have divided students’ opinion. What has happened with the Bath Spotted pages is that, although at first the comments on them were simply humorous and witty, the comments soon began to take on a very different, more offensive tone. These have raised claims of the page containing and even enabling racism, sexism and classism. There have been calls from SU representatives, students and staff for the pages to be closed down as more and more people found the material on the pages offensive and derogatory. Such pages at York and Exeter Universities have been closed down for exactly these reasons.
Inevitably there have also been a strong surge of claims of people being ‘oversensitive’, that the contents of these pages is intended to be light-hearted fun. Often with many things online the tone of messages can be misconstrued; without careful consideration written remarks can seemingly be very offensive and inflammatory. To begin to take offence at the content of the internet would be to envy endless tasks but these pages are unusually intrusive – as people study or workout or otherwise go about their business. Each person has a very different definition of what is distasteful and attacking. Discussing what does or does not cross the line is distracting. With the case of these Spotted pages the most troubling part of the whole palaver is that
people have been sufficiently upset by some comments that they actually altered their day to day behaviour. Clearly, this is a serious matter that should not be swept under the rug as ‘oversensitivity’. However this paper also believes that those who are bothered by them should remember some crucial points: that you are intelligent, well educated people who should be aware of the fact that in life people will, regrettably, sometimes be unpleasant. The lesson here is to realise that you should rise above it – the troubling remarks are pathetic, lowest common denominator and, frankly, embarrassing for those who wrote them. In the case of the Spotted pages people are simply using the opportunity for anonymity to express their inner nastiness. These
www.bathimpact.com Rowan Emslie Editor-in-Chief impact-editor@bath.ac.uk
pages do not create or cause this behaviour, it is omnipresent; they simply give these thoughts outlet. To those who defend the pages – you are correct. It is lightweight and very much not worth getting upset over. The fact that people feel suitably passionate to jump to the defence of something so facile and juvenile is pretty concerning all by itself. Therefore you should take the same attitude you do to offensive material in other walks of life: use your liberty of autonomous thought and decision to choose to not look at these pages. Unlike the pages or remove it from your newsfeed. bathimpact is in no way condoning the content or opinions expressed on the pages, this newspaper is simply aiming to outline that you are above this nonsense.
Elliott Campbell Deputy Editor impact-deputy@bath.ac.uk
Gabriela Georgieva Design Editor impact-design@bath.ac.uk
Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk
Liv Hows News and Comment Editor impact-news@bath.ac.uk
Benjamin Butcher Features Editor impact-features@bath.ac.uk
Matthew Powell Sport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk
Government causes suicide? A aron Swartz was a pioneer of both the development of the internet and social media, and in working to maintain its freedom against overly restrictive and aggressive attempts at Government to censor it. bathimpact is of the opinion that his death is a tragic event and the heavy handed treatment of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and particularly the US Attorney’s office was far too aggressive and was likely a large factor in his suicide. Swartz, co-founder of the internet community Reddit, had long been an advocate of the freedom of speech and the belief that any infor-
mation that could be beneficial to the public should be made available for free. He was also a vocal internet activist, founding the group Demand Progress that played a major role in preventing the passing of the controversial and intrusive Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) that would have given the government unprecedented ability to invade people’s privacy. In the wake of the WikiLeaks scandal he also filed a Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request to learn about the treatment of Bradley Manning who was being controversially imprisoned by the U.S. Government. bathimpact agrees with Swartz’s ideologies and we feel that he should be
celebrated for his efforts to uphold freedom of speech and information at a time when the internet is making these concepts incredibly blurred. While his decision to download articles from Journal Storage (JSTOR) was misguide, bathimpact feels that the following course of action by MIT and The US attorney’s office was far more misguided and resulted in the death of one of the first visionaries of the 20th Century’s. Swartz was known to suffer from serious bouts of depression, which he would also discuss and promote, and as such the relentless hounding he received was far too aggressive. JSTOR and Swartz
reached an agreement, with JSTOR actually agreeing to release millions of articles for free before his untimely death, but the US Attorney’s Office was still ruthlessly attempting to prosecute Swartz and brand him as a felon. Considering Swartz had no previous convictions and was a celebrated scholar this course of action was completely unnecessary and seems to clearly suggest ulterior motives in relation to his previous activism. As such, bathimpact feels that we should mourn the loss of one of the internet era’s first visionaries and remember his beliefs and ideologies when further discussions of freedom of information arise.
Huhne is the tip of the iceberg
T
he inelegant downfall of Liberal Democrat former Cabinet minister, Chris Huhne, is a strange thing to observe for students in Bath. Many final year students will remember the last general election in 2010 as this campus was a favourite campaigning ground for candidates. This is no surprise and is unlikely to change for those students who will be present for the next election – in a town of less than one hundred thousand people, the intransigent student population either side of the town centre is a massive proportion of the available vote. Don Foster won the election with a healthy margin of more than ten thousand votes and held onto his Liberal Democrat seat. During the results night back in 2010 there was an all-night event in The Plug for students wishing to follow the announcements. During this event, the
vast majority of people in attendance were cheering Liberal Democrat victories. It is extremely unlikely that this will be true the next time The Plug hosts such an event. Obviously, the reversal on tuition fees, which Foster became the national figurehead for, upset a lot of students countrywide, particularly in his constituency. At that time, his colleague Huhne was Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change. A few years before, he had lost out on the Liberal Democrat leadership by less than a thousand votes. Had Nick Clegg not been victorious in 2007 the coalition government would be in far greater peril. As it is, the scandal confirms the downfall of Huhne alone. Perhaps the only other figure to have been truly implicated in the story is that of his ex-wife, Vicky Pryce, who seems to be on a very personal, very public mission of her own.
The crime in question should not be belittled but the private dramas of the people involved gives the whole scandal a sordid aroma. It is the sort of sleaze that typified the Conservative government of John Major, although perhaps current students will sooner remember the Blair era scandals, the unseemly long reach of tabloid phone-hacking or Plebgate. It would seem that, in British politics, there really is nothing new under the sun. It is, in the opinion of this newspaper, strange that the issue of breaking a repeated pledge within weeks of assuming office was not considered an issue over which any member of government was expected to resign. In fact, Foster has gone on to be appointed a Junior Minister at the Department of Communities and Local Government – an announcement that was met with some
confusion from Bath residents as the continued tension between ‘town and gown’ has increased in the last two years with the controversial Article 4 proposition. Clearly, this is a man with a good idea of how to manage a close, undivided community. The newest Edelman Trust Barometer was released recently, its Executive Summary titled ‘Crisis In Leadership’. Less than a fifth of respondents trust Government officials to either tell the truth regardless of popularity or to simply make ethical or moral decisions. The Huhne scandal is major – he has become the first Cabinet minister ever to leave office because of a criminal investigation – and yet, who is really surprised let alone outraged. The common reaction in the editorial office of this newspaper has been wearied indifference. This is just business as usual, after all.
Caleb Wheeler-Robinson Photography Editor impact-photo@bath.ac.uk
Katharine Agg Online Editor impact-it@bath.ac.uk
Scarlett Clark Publicity Officer impact-publicity@bath.ac.uk
Aran Gnana Treasurer impact-money@bath.ac.uk
Nick Hill Media Officer su-media-officer@bath.ac.uk
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m edia The opinions expressed in bathimpact are not necessarily those of the bathimpact editors nor of the University of Bath Students’ Union. Whilst every effort is made to ensure that the information contained in this publication is correct and accurate at the time of going to print, the publisher cannot accept any liability for information which is later altered or incorrect. bathimpact as a publication adheres to the Press Complaints Commission’s Code of Conduct. Please contact them for any information.
Monday 11th February 2013
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News
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The only proper course of action for me is now to resign.
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Chris Huhne, after admitting to passing over driving points to his former wife
fortnight photo
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expressimpact The Super Bowl drew a huge crowd both in the stadium and around the world
ursusdave
fortnight in figures
108.3 million
Number of US viewers of the Super Bowl. This made it the 3rd most viewed TV programme ever.
News Lite updates & events
Talking Points
• EU students’ difficulties with work visas • The vote on gay marriage and whether it will pass. • Student employability. Tune into Buzz on 1449AM URB for interviews and conversation on these topics. 6pm on Friday
UPCOMING EVENT
NATIONAL
UPCOMING EVENT
Valentine’s Day
United Kingdom Border Agency are once again under attack after a raid on a care home provider, which was then shut down. Following its closure a woman in her eighties was left at home without food, medication or water, as no one was sent out to look after her or was informed of patients after the agency’s closure.
Bath-Half Marathon
Date: 14th February A day either to wallow in the sorrow of being single, get drunk, or if you’re in a relationship, to buy into the commercialism of the day and pay extortionate amounts to make your partner happy.
Date: 3rd March This is a little way ahead but if you want to get involved or support someone you know who is running it, now is the time to enter your name or make that crucial donation!
UPCOMING EVENT
LOCAL
INTERNATIONAL
EDUCATION
Pancake Day
University of Bath has entered into a collaboration with other South West universities (Exeter, Bristol and Cardiff). The group called GW4 is intended to increase research opportunities and provide support between the universities.
The accused in the Indian gang-rape case have pleaded not-guilty. If convicted five of the six could face the death penalty, while the youngest among them would face three years in a juvenile reform facility. This gang-rape case has fuelled wide spread debate and anger at the treatment of women in India and the feudal attitude of second class citizens.
An educational fund has been set up in the name of the Pakistani schoolgirl, Malala Yousafzai. The fund has been set up by Vital Voices, and the first use of the money in the fund has been used to encourage girls in Malala’s home region to go to school instead of working from a young age.
Date: 12th February Your last chance to binge on sweet and delicious things before you take on the burden of giving up things for Lent.
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Monday 11th February 2013
bathimpact
News
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Chris Clements and Simon O’Kane bathimpact Reporters
T
hink Tank London Economics estimates that the net benefit of a home student attending University to the UK Exchequer is £94,000, the equivalent of the UK government earning 10.8% per year on its investment. For a Master’s degree that figure stands at £62,000, or a 25% rate of return. The revenue generated for the Economy by UK Higher Education comes in at £8.788 billion, with 86% of this coming from foreign students coming to study in the UK. If you are an EU or international student then on average, in addition to, on average, the £7,088 in tuition fees you will be paying you bring £11,988 per year in other expenditure. Given these overwhelming benefits you would think the Higher Education sector would be seen as a focus of investment for the future of this country. It would seem that the best idea would be for the Government to be doing everything they can to attract the best and the brightest to attend our Universities. Yet it would seem that the Government are making little effort to retain these skills and those who are contributing to the future of the country. However this Government decided instead to switch the burden on
to the individual, rather than investing in Higher Education themselves. True, the net benefit to the individual is £115,000 for an undergraduate degree and £59,000 for a Master’s but does this change the benefit to society as a whole? Is it now fair that society as a whole pays for a lower percentage of a student’s tuition than the individual? Currently any individual wishing to study a Master’s must either pay the tuition fees up front or take out a career development loan. This effectively excludes a significant proportion of the brightest and the best from postgraduate education. In the economic boom years, postgraduate research degrees were largely funded by the Government through grants from the Research Councils. However, a significant fraction of these are now being cut. In what is probably the starkest example of this, the Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC), the Research Council this University deals with the most, cut its number of funded PhD places by over a third last year. This will force many aspiring researchers to rely on other sources of funding (such as the EU or grants from their institutions) or self-fund. This deprives the country of not just future economic benefits but
Philip Pankhurst
The economics of Higher Education
Tuition fee increase have been said to reduce the actual gain of higher education to the individual research conducted by the students nology created and the benefits are Yet despite all this politicians are while they are studying. undoubted. merely mirroring wider public opinThis is before you even consider This is the problem often ignored. ion when they prioritise other secthe wider benefits to the economy Higher Education is vital to the fu- tors. This is not so much a call for than just taxes. The value of an in- ture of the country. To be most ef- cuts in other sectors as a reminder dividual to an economy is not just fective you require world leading that cuts in some key strategic secthe tax on the income they earn but researchers contributing to this. tors, such as education, are a false the benefits over and above their sal- There can be no doubt that there economy. The true value of Higher ary they give in their work. Add the an individuals with the potential to Education is yet to be communicated research conducted at Universities be future Nobel Prize winners being and that is the source of the problem. and the resultant development of the cut off because they can not afford to How you do this is the bigger quesbusinesses, which benefit from tech- progress to the next step. tion.
Helen Edworthy bathimpact Reporter n Tuesday 5th February, the first round of voting was held by MPs on the Coalition government’s gay marriage bill, with David Cameron failing to convince half of his MPs to vote in favour of it. The voting takes place after legislation was published in England and Wales last week. Since 2005, same-sex couples have been able to enter into civil partnerships, which legally provide same-sex couples with many of the same rights as married couples, such as pension provision and child maintenance. The new ‘Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill has been published with the support of Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs, with opposition from Conservative MPs. Liam Fox, the former Defence Secretary, described it as being ‘ill thought through and constitutionally wrong’. Mr Fox also stated in a letter to constituents that he felt same-sex marriages should be treated ‘with tolerance and respect’ but also that he felt that demand for civil unions to be recognised as marriages was not that great. Due to the Conservative opposition, Tory MPs will be given a ‘free vote’, in that should they decide
O
joseavanas
Government vote on gay marriage
Religious groups will not be forced to conduct gay marriages to defy legislative policy they will not tution in question consents to the face repercussion from it. union, and would also allow couples If passed, the legislation would currently in a civil partnership to allow same-sex couples to be mar- become legally married. Both the ried in both civil and religious cer- Church of England and the Catholic emonies where the religious insti- church have voiced their opposition
to such a bill, and are expected to oppose it despite the fact that religious institutions are given the right to refuse to hold same-sex marriages if they so choose. The Church of England’s stance on the matter is at odds with its ‘duty in law to marry any two people in their local parish church, regardless of their religious affiliation’, wrote culture secretary Maria Miller. Some religious groups, such as Quakers, Unitarians, and Liberal Judaism are in favour of the bill, however. Ms Miller also added that the Church of England could potentially put forward a change to the law, if its governing body the Synod were to change the policy. Ms Miller wrote ‘Put simply, should the Church of England decide to carry out same-sex marriage in the future, it can itself amend legislation to effect this with the approval of Parliament’. She also stated no religious organisation ‘will ever be forced to conduct marriages for same-sex couples’. The Bishop of Leicester commented that marriage should continue as ‘a union between one man and one woman’, adding that the ‘absence of an overwhelming public consensus for change ought at least to give pause for thought’. This is
in contrast to the public opinion of general counsel at the Equality and Human Rights Commission, John Wadham, who welcomed the move. Wadham stated ‘we agree that couples who wish to marry should be permitted to marry in church if their church also wishes to marry them’. According to a poll of the LGBT community, conducted by the Coalition for Marriage, the government’s gay marriage proposals ‘do not go far enough’. The poll found that six out of 10 members of the LGBT community felt that the legislation would not create ‘equal’ marriages, with true equality only being reached if all churches, synagogues, and mosques were required to carry out same-sex marriages. The poll also found that 62% of the 500 people questioned believed that David Cameron’s attempts to push the gay marriage bill were for the purpose of making his political party appear more compassionate, rather than due to his own beliefs. The Coalition for Marriage’s campaign director Colin Hart said ‘Mr Cameron should either ditch this unpopular opinion and unworkable legislation, or at the very least put it before the British public’. Time will tell if the bill will pass the vote in the House of Lords.
Monday 11th February 2013
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Helen Edworthy bathimpact Reporter he University of Bath has stated that it would like to lift the £9000 cap in tuition fees, a move that has also been echoed by other universities throughout the country. The Students’ Union has said that rather than increasing Higher Education tuition fees, the extra money that is needed should come from funding from the government, rather than further fee increases. The statement from the University was supported by Students’ Union President Chris Clements, who said that the further raising of fees was not the best way to boost funds, and that ‘it is unlikely that we will see an increase in tuition fees under this coalition Government, purely given the amount of flak one particular section of the Government has already got over these higher fees being introduced. However, looking more long term it is clear there are far more fundamental questions that need to be asked. The current system isn't working. The main issue is that there is not enough money being put into higher education.’ Clements also said that the
Liv Hows
University of Bath says 9k not enough T
In spite of the University’s need for more funds, the VC’s pay went up 5% for 2012 rising cost of Higher Education backgrounds. The thought is creased numbers of overseas stuparticularly concerned prospec- that securing more funding for dents are essential in boosting the tive students from lower income research in universities and in- university’s finances. It is hoped
that boosts from the Great West Four (the new South West collaborative research body) and other provisions such as reducing difficulties for international students will reduce the required amount that tuition fees would need to be raised. The University’s stance on tuition fee rises stands in contrast with the rise in salary for ViceChancellor Glynis Breakwell, whose yearly pay increased from £284,000 to £365,000 (a total of £72,000) in an attempt by several universities to deal with new caps on pension payments, despite concerns and anger from unions that Breakwell has been allowed to re-allocate her pension contributions. On tuition fees, the University stated ‘Whilst costs will increase broadly in line with inflation, tuition fees will remain static and this will need to be addressed by Government before long to avoid universities getting into financial difficulty. Whilst the University of Bath's financial position is strong both in absolute terms and relative to the sector, a prolonged fee cap of £9,000 will become an increasing financial concern’.
Anthony Masters bathimpact Reporter
C
osde8info
ouncillors have rejected plans for a new Tesco supermarket on the former Bath Press site, which has lain dormant since 2007. The plan for the Bath Press site proposed by Tesco and St. James’s Investments is a single-storey superstore, equipped with a 395-space underground car park, along with ten terraced homes, offices, a museum and creative workshops. The historic façade of the Bath Press would have been retained. The B&NES Council officers en-
dorsed a refusal of the Tesco-SJI plans due to five factors: the danger to human life with the adjacent Windsor Bridge gas holder site; the non-justification of assumptions of parking demands and trip generation in Tesco-SJI’s Transport Assessment; the cascade into “unsustainable travel patterns”; the lack of accordance with the ‘sequential approach’ to development; and the “unacceptable and significant adverse impact on the vitality and viability of the Moorland Road District Shopping Centre”. ‘Sequential testing’ means that
The sort of size the store would be, providing cheap alternatives and jobs
development closer to a city’s centre should be preferred to development on the city’s outskirts, and is a feature of planning policy guided by the Department for Local Government and Communities. Unveiled in November 2012, Sainsbury’s seeks to expand their Green Park store, by capturing the site currently occupied by Homebase, whose lease on that site expires in 2020. That aspiration takes precedent over the Tesco-SJI application for the inert Bath Press site, as the officers’ report concluded that “there is no immediate pressure to choose a site, such as the former Bath Press site, for supermarket development”. Speaking at the committee meeting, Sophie Akokhia, Tesco corporate affairs manager, valued the development at £80m, and said it would create more than 600 jobs. Ms Akokhia repeated that Tesco would have contributed £5m towards to the decommissioning of the Windsor Bridge gas works. During the debate, councillors raised questions about the potential traffic problems at the Windsor Bridge junction, and the new supermarket’s potential impact on businesses in Moorland Road. The committee’s Chair said both ward councillors, Cllr June Player (Inde-
ukmari
Town council block plans for Tesco
The blocking of the plans prevent opportunities for cheaper food pendent, Westmoreland) and Sha- local shopping district, drawing in ron Ball (Liberal Democrat, West- more custom from the wider area. moreland) would have objected to Councillor Les Kew (Conservative, the scheme in its present, if they High Littleton) said: “I am absohad been able to attend. Cllr Eleanor lutely convinced this will benefit Jackson (Labour, Radstock) said: the small retail shops in the Moor“I think my personal reason for ob- land Road area. Everything about jecting is the impact on Moorland. I the Tesco development in Keynhear what the speakers on both sides sham has been positive all the way have said, and I realise it is a finely through.” judged decision, but I am just thinkAt the debate’s conclusion, the ing of Paulton High Street and that Bath and North East Somerset Dehas become a graveyard since Tesco velopment Control Committee voted in Midsomer Norton arrived.” nine to four in favour of the council Other councillors disagreed and officers’ recommendations for rejecfelt that Tesco would magnetise the tion.
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Monday 11th February 2013
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Comment
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Diet dangers Spotted:Anonymous bravado and ‘banter’ T Fitness Pal has been a close companion of mine this year. In brief, the purpose of this app is to set you a daily calorie intake limit so that you can reach your desired weight, the more exercise you do, the more calories you are permitted to consume. However, this little app although exciting at first, does quickly grow into an addiction. As I grew more accustomed to it even my friends noticed my change of behaviour around food. Every morsel must be documented and every food purchased examined to see if it would fit into the calorie goal for that day, go over your limit and off on a run you go. Recently in the media, these apps have been praised for being a great way to lose weight. With such apps as My Fitness Pal showing the consequences of your trips to Fresh, they can be a positive deterrent from poor eating habits. Moreover, message boards are provided for when you hit temptation or need advice on getting off the sofa and into the gym! Nonetheless, such apps do not take note of body shape or lifestyle and calorie counting can be dangerous, leading to feelings of guilt and disappointment when you see the red minus number stating you’ve exceeded your limit because you gave in to chocolate Tuesday on Parade. Therefore I say to you, by all means give these apps a go but be wary of the influence they can hold upon your mentality towards eating. To have an indulgence now and then is okay but balance is key. Substituting the calories you gain from that night out by skipping meals will keep your calorie count app within the limit but your body and mind will deteriorate without sufficient nutrients. Weight loss apps can prove a great tool for losing weight but make sure all you lose is the weight and not your common sense. mariachily
Grace Fox bathimpact Writer he Christmas turkey has been consumed, the New Year’s festivities are over and the revision bingeing has ended, now comes the great surge to ditch that holiday weight. This year in particular it seems that we all desperate to lose those extra pounds have turned to the form of weight loss apps, and what an abundance of those we have to meet our needs! From the well known Greg Wallace of Master Chef declaring the wonders of Weight Watchers online, to My Fitness Pal which has quickly made its way to being one of the most common apps on a student’s iPhone, we are spoilt for choice. Although, how beneficial are these apps to our well-being, many have been praised for helping the users lose that extra weight but does it promote as healthy a mindset to eating as it does a healthy weight? Of course, I can sympathise with those out there who are striving to find any successful method to get into that pair of jeans that fitted so well before and now, you’re lucky if you can get your foot into them! However, to have the goal is one thing, to take the steps to reach that goal is quite another. When first coming to university it is very easy to indulge in the what seems to be, unlimited food and beer fund that others call a student loan. The parents who made you sit at that table until you ate those brussels sprouts are no longer present and every night there is another social and before long, your eating habits are out of control. You’re sat there with a bottle of Lambrini in one hand and dunking bourbons into peanut butter with the other, or at least, that was the definition of my eating habits in Fresher’s year! So, to many these weight loss apps are the key ingredient to finally get rid of that weight. My
Apps such as this can lead to anxiety. Use with caution
The content of the Spotted pages have caused there to be calls for the page to be closed down Marina Jones being offensive does not detract don’t know, in an environment they bathimpact Writer from the fact that it is funny, on have assumed is safe, is that people he exam period is a stress- some level anyway. The problem is are naturally going to get upset beful time for everyone in- that plenty of things that were fun- cause people don’t like hostility. To volved, it has to be said. ny are still offensive in some way; assume that your own comments The constant worry that you might they do not cancel each other out. should be found perfectly acceptanot know all that much about what The Spotted pages offend people ble in any situation when the intenyou’ve studied is nerve-wracking, on th7e level that they feel invasive; tion is to be offensive is a big thing and seemingly never-ending. As nobody wants to be worried about to ask, and also lacks logic. It asks such, it’s no surprise that people will walking into a building and be con- for words without consequences, turn to things to amuse themselves cerned that people are looking at in an environment based on verbal at this time – and during the recent them, commenting on them or how humour; your comments cannot be exam period, this turned out to be a they dress, or what they might be totally innocent if you know you’re trend for ‘Spotted’ pages around the doing. This is the case even if they venting frustration at them on a University of Bath. Granted, Bath are aware that what they are doing public group. was not the only university to par- is irritating in some way, or possiHowever, that seems to be the take in the hilarity – neighbouring bly more so because of the fact that curse of anonymity – sometimes Bath Spa also got in on the act, as this shows a lack of observation of people forget that they are talking well as Exeter University, and there other people. People don’t want to about real people, with their own appeared to be some bad blood be- feel like they’re being unknowingly feelings. Intention is not magic, and tween the Bath and Loughborough looked at – stalking is a crime for a just because you know what you library pages. In all honesty, the reason. mean by your own comments does Spotted are fairly amusing – who In the same vein as the invasive- not mean that the target of the comdoesn’t enjoy the mixture of vin- ness and offensive nature of the ments will. While there is a problem dictiveness and schadenfreude that content of the spotted pages, one with the comments that are made laughing at somebody else’s mis- of the major themes on the Spot- on the ‘Spotted’ pages, the underlyfortune provides? Very few people ted: University of Bath Library page ing problem is that it is considered don’t have something to say about particularly is that if the comments okay to make offensive comments someone else. are faced with rebuttals, they are ac- about other people and not expect The problem with the various cused of not being able to deal with to have to face any kind of repercusspotted pages is that they do not ex- ‘banter’. Banter is welcome and fun- sions, and people who become upset ist just to be funny. They are know- ny to people if it comes from some- due to the comments are considered ingly offensive in certain ways, if one they know well, or if it’s about too sensitive. The blame is not to be the content is taken at face value something they are not particularly placed solely on commenters, but – even if the intention is not to be bothered about. The difference also onto the wider cultural problem offensive. The content of the pages when it comes from someone they it represents.
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Comment
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International students undervalued z Vladimira Dermendjieva
Chris Clements SU President supresident@bath.ac.uk
£
7.6 billion. That is the approximate direct value of international students coming to study in the UK in tuition fees and other spending. To put this in context the total spending of the UK Government on employment programmes was £0.9 billion. You could say this is quite a valuable contribution to the UK economy. One may even say it is vital. With this in mind, you would think the UK Government would do everything it can to look after these students. It would maybe introduce policies to encourage them. Perhaps you would think they may even want to keep them in this country to use the skills they have been taught. This government, however, has taken quite the opposite stance. What lies behind this is a government target to reduce net migration from 250,000 to “tens of thousands”. There is no doubt that
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The number of students stranded in the UK over Christmas this is a very prominent issue with the general public. However, the targeting of students is reflective of
International students are a crucial part of Bath’s community and should be valued more. a government which refuses to un- behalf. This repeated action at a local ing as part of these figures. Even if derstand the benefits of students to level across the country, in conjunc- this is successful, there still remains the economy. tion with pressure from the NUS and the question of why the government This Students’ Union has been Universities UK at a national level, does not make them feel they are lobbying our local MP since Septem- and has started to make a difference. highly valued once they are here. ber, on the removal of students from Last Thursday, in an unprecThis perception of international net migration figures, ultimately the edented step the chairs of five dif- students not being valued has not only step which is likely to make a ferent parliamentary committees been helped by a number of displays significant impact. This has resulted of MP’s and peers have written to of ineptitude by the department rein our MP making representations David Cameron, to demand oversees sponsible for interaction with these to the ministers responsible on our students are removed from classify- students on immigration issues,
UKBA. Many of you will be aware of the situation at Christmas where 140 students from this University were unable to return home for Christmas. Of the 151 students that had submitted in country applications on batch orders since September, only 11 had been returned. These students had to send off their passports for extensions or changes to their visas, due to a change in circumstances, but had not had them returned. This brings into question not only the legitimacy of UKBA as a department but also the government in their lack of action. On this the Students’ Union, in conjunction with the National Union of Students, urged Bath students to send a letter to their home MP around the Christmas delays. Over 20 MP’s were contacted by Bath students alone. Further lobbying has taken many forms, including, in a bazaar turn of me ending up in a conversation on twitter with the home affairs select committee. Both the Students’ Union and the NUS will be looking to continue this lobbying into the future. This is as it is vital, not just for the importance of our international members’ interests, but also for the future of Higher Education in this country and the UK economy.
Sarah-Jane Lavery bathimpact Writer
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hat makes director Quentin Tarantino’s films so popular? Is it his masterful storytelling? His spectacular characterisation? Or can we attribute the success of his films simply to our bloodthirsty need for violence: something which his films make no effort to avoid, and in fact seem to celebrate quite openly. Whilst watching his most recent deathfest, Django Unchained, I struggled during the film to decide whether the shoot outs and blatant glamorisation of brutality were ridiculously awesome, or whether they were just stupid. Admittedly, the violence and bloodiness in Tarantino’s films are clearly exaggerated : comic book red blood explodes dramatically from human bodies whilst one shot is enough to send a poor woman flying a considerable distance across a room. It is obviously not real. However, many other films (and video games, for that matter) in today’s popular culture demonstrate levels of violence which are considerably more realistic than the images that come out of Tarantino’s (clearly very, very
messed up) head. The question that we really have to ask ourselves here is what impact this unconcealed, sensational show of violence has on the individual. Recently, the media has reported a scary number of cases of shootings in the US – the nation where it is probably easiest to gain access to a gun, and also the nation where this exposure to virtual violence is probably most prolific. Take, for example, the shooting of twenty innocent children at the Sandy Hook elementary school in Connecticut . Adam Lanza forced his way into the school and, without a thought for the consequences of his actions or the families and lives of the people he was killing, shot at a full classroom of preschool age children. Just five months before, a gunman opened fire and killed twelve people at the premier of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado. This January, Carlton Berry injured three people in yet another shooting at the Lone Star College in Texas. Where have these three people (out of many) gotten the completely misplaced idea that this is acceptable? The perpetrators I’ve mentioned are clearly mentally unstable: I'm not
pretending that a shoot out scene in a film is going to inspire a middleaged office worker to leave his job, buy a gun and join a violent gang. But why should we even hint that these actions are okay and normalise them in the way that Hollywood culture does? Video games such as Grand Theft Auto have been at the heart of controversy for years for the way in which they allow gamers to recklessly kill increasingly realistic characters in increasingly real life situations. This exposure to violence, in both films and video games, in an environment which lacks consequences, is undoubtedly going to impact the individual’s (particularly susceptible young people) understanding of normality. Films and video games aim to simulate real life in a sensational way and, evidently, we as a society are seeing the transference of this fantasy world into real life. And yes, it’s undeniable that bloodshed and gore have played an integral part in the entertainment industry for hundreds of years. John Ford’s 1633 play “Tis Pity She’s a Whore” shows a brother ripping his sister’s heart out and skewer-
Euforia Film
The risk violent films pose to real life
Does violent media really make violent events more likely? ing it on a dagger, whilst playwright provide entertainment, but should Christopher Marlowe was infamous we really be entertained by murder for the brutal carnage of his stage and blood? And should we really productions. We’ve been exposed to encourage people to act in this way? this violence for years, but never has Evidently, we are unfortunately seeit been so present, and never has it ing the devastating effects that this been as realistic as it is today. The has on society. Let’s stop the virtual films and video games which domi- violence, and then maybe we’ll see nate our culture obviously aim to the real brutality stopping too.
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Can we trust a nuclear North Korea? W
ar Non Proliferation Treaty that has served to prevent the spread of nuclear weapons for more than thirty years. Overall, there seems to be a general consensus that a nucleararmed North Korea, positioned by former President George W Bush along the ‘Axis of Evil’, is a very worrying prospect for international peace and stability in 2013 and beyond. But is it? Looking at the theoretical perspectives, the over arching view is
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The rocket launch is the beginning of a further programme”
that nuclear weapons have actually reduced the prospect of an all out international conflict and has increased stability. Why? From the layout of the international system since the onset of the Cold War, it is evident that the existence of nuclear weapons introduced a much higher risk for all countries involved, and as a result much less outright conflict occurred; the higher the stakes, the less risk a country is willing to take.
Instead, states undertook a game of brinkmanship in which countries would seek to push the boundaries and provoke reactions without eliciting all out war. Today, this game of brinkmanship as a result of nuclear weapons can be applied to Iran and it’s recent negotiations with America. Indeed, Iran arguably seeks to push the boundaries applied to the international system yet, as thinkers such as Barry Posen have argued, has no intention of seeking nuclear war with America and it’s allies. Essentially, nuclear weapons act as a negotiating tool. Looking closely at the North Korean economy, the likelihood of a sustained nuclear weapons program is doubtful. Continuously ranked low in international surveys and data, it seems unlikely that the country can afford the $52 billion price tag it took for the United States to maintain nuclear capability in 2008. With a food crisis, economic decline and economic and political isolation, North Korea face many more challenges and obstacles before effective nuclear capability is reached. So should we be worried about this recent rocket launch and the
prospect of North Korean long – range missiles? Taking the specific issue, it could be argued not for the time being. Yet the US and other members of the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty must treat this recent event as a serious wake up call. Attempts at negotiations with both Iran and
North Korea have been unsuccessful, perhaps indicating that an overtly aggressive stance is not particularly effective. Whilst nuclear weapons remain, countries will try and seek them. Perhaps one must look at this from a theoretical perspective rather than a national security threat. Petersnoopy
Sarah Aston International Correspondent ednesday the 12th of December 2012 marked the first successful attempt by North Korea to launch a rocket into space. Calling it a triumph for the year old administration of Kim Jong–Un, North Korean officials such as Kim Ki-nam have stated that the rocket launch was a Satellite, and that it’s launch was an “independent right” that should not be condemned by the international community. The international community, however, have viewed the launch as something very different to the official North Korean Story, and much of 2013 will no doubt be spent keenly examining any further progression. Many reports have indicated that the rocket launch is the beginning of the North Korean attempt to create long-range missiles that, if successful, could launch nuclear weapons as far as North America. The United Nations, the UK and the US have been most vocal in their condemnation of the move by North Korea, whilst political commentators have argued that the rocket launch has proven to be the final nail in the coffin for the Nucle-
Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un will be happy with the launch
The abandoned people of Paris
Tom Ash looks into the grim underworld of France’s homelessness he looks hungry. We are in France. The world’s fifth largest economy boasts a gigantic welfare state, yet 12, 000 people are without a home in Paris. That’s according to the most recent official statistics from the mid-2000s, quoted in a recent issue of the Economist (October 2012) and I am unable to better their research. Since the financial crisis began the number has likely
risen, but the French government doesn’t seem to care to find out. They aren’t the only people turning a blind eye to the not-sohappy campers of the capital’s archways and metro stops. The Economist article I alluded to earlier suggests that the police tend to leave the homeless alone because of a deep-rooted cultural sympathy that French people exhibit, preferring to blame unemployFireboltz
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icture, if you will, a cave; a dank, smelly cave full of twisting passages and winding ascents; gnawed bones are scattered across the floor, mixed with rubble and assorted detritus; the exit is impossible to locate and you find yourself stood opposite a hunched, resentful, hungry creature in the gloom, who no doubt greatly envies the contents of your pocket. I’m at Place d’Italie, one of multiple connective hives that link together the Parisian metro. The air is humid and reeks of the urine that has been splashed in the general direction of the drain. Descending towards the platform, I walk through a half-finished tarmacking project, the bones doubtlessly belonging to a chicken but creepy nonetheless. I’ve already lost my bearings and have no idea how to get back out, so instead I rely on the signs to steer me towards Ligne Sept (that’s Line Seven, dimwit). But who is this creature, of whom I speak, who merits comparison to a cannibalistic troglodyte? He’s an SDF, a sans-abri, one of Paris’ 12, 000 homeless who sleep rough every night. And
ment rather than personal drug use for the problem as citizens of other countries might choose to do. I am afraid my analysis is rather more sceptical though; I just don’t believe that they care, populace and patrol officers alike. Or rather, deep down they do care, but they have become so numb to the issue due to constant exposure that it no longer has any lasting impact on them. So who are these faceless vagabonds who haunt the transport
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12,000 people are without a home in Paris.”
A homeless man gets some shut-eye in the city centre of Paris
system? Well, it largely depends which side of the river you are on. South of the Seine, the demographic is dominated by white, middle-aged or old men of largely French descent. Many are ex-servicemen, some were once small independent shop-owners who have been forced out of business by the rising rents and competing big chains which are coming to domi-
nate the southern districts. Blaming globalisation and inflation is easy though; the reality is that the market in the Latin quarter and its surroundings has also become increasingly exclusive; it now favours in large part tourism, real estate, and luxury goods. Corner shops and places selling domestic goods and services are increasingly a rarity around here. So what to do? Well, the government has tried throwing (some) money at it. However, most of it is spent on papering over the cracks – 90% of the 116 million euro social housing budget is spent on hotels – rather than addressing the root cause of unemployment, exacerbated by the stigma of homelessness which prevents many on the streets from finding a job. I recently watched a speech given by Sam Conniff of Livity, advocating the involvement of young offenders in business who can bring fresh perspectives and skills to an employer. Maybe the French should start doing the same with their homeless (after all, the cross-over between the two demographics is considerable). Although maybe they need to start caring first.
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Exploring the roots of US gun crime bathimpact’s Jack McLaren-Stewart looks at what is to blame for gun crime in America and how, and to what extent it can be curbed MGlasgow
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n 14th December 2012, using his mother’s 223 calibre Bushmaster XM15E2S rifle - a semi-automatic rifle modelled on the US Army’s M-16 and the same type of weapon that was used in the Aurora, Colorado shootings in July - and two semiautomatic pistols, Adam Lanza fatally shot twenty children and six female staff members at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. He then committws suicide by shooting himself in the head. Prior to this, he had also shot and killed his mother, Nancy Lanza, at their Newtown home. The incident is ranked as the second-deadliest school shooting in US history, following the Virginia Tech massacre in 2007. The horrific nature of the event has sparked much debate concerning gun control legislation, with public outrage at the availability of firearms in the US. Republican Congressman and television host Joe Scarborough accredits the growth in violence to a “toxic brew of a violent popular culture, a growing mental health crisis and the proliferation of combat-styled weapons.” However, gun lobbyists are quick to claim that restrictions on guns are a constitutional violation of the second amendment (“the right of the people to keep
A gun show in Houston, Texas allows Americans to demostrate their second amendment right and bear arms”), leading to heated In an attempt to advance all the cost of such a package would discussions over the legality of any four of these elements, the Presi- be approximately $500 million, a gun control legislation. dent recommended reintroducing percentage of which could come Earlier this month, in an at- the ban on “military-style” assault from already budgeted funds. tempt to stem the increase in mass weapons that lapsed in 2004, limBut how effective would more gun violence, US President Barack iting ammunition magazines to restrictive gun control legislation Obama unveiled the most sweep- 10 rounds, banning the posses- be? Firstly, it is important to recing effort at gun control policy sion and sale of armour-piercing ognise that the United States has reform in a generation. The pro- bullets, requiring more extensive the highest gun ownership rate posal is broken down into four key background checks for all gun in the world - 89 for every 100 subsections: law enforcement, the sales, instituting a federal gun Americans, compared to just 6 in availability of dangerous firearms trafficking statute, and allocating England and Wales. This rate is and ammunition, school safety funds to hire more police offic- far higher than even the second and mental health. ers. Senior officials estimate that country, Yemen, which has 54.8 per 100 people. The Small Arms Survey notes that “with less than 5% of the world’s population, the United States is home to roughly 35-50 per cent of the world’s civilian owned guns”. US homicide rates also present a strong argument for gun control: In 2011 there were 12,664 murders in the US. Of those, 8,583 (68%) were caused by firearms. Many would argue that despite these figures, there is no direct correlation between the right of the public to own firearms and a high homicide rate. Switzerland comes fourth in the number of guns per capita - trailing only the US, Yemen and Serbia - with an estimation of between 2.3 million and 4.5 million firearms in circulation in a country of 8 million people and yet despite the prevalence of guns, violent crime is extremely low: government figures show approximately 0.5 gun homicides per 100,000 inhabitants in 2010 compared to 5 per 100,000 in the US. The primary reason that the Switzerland USA crime rate in Switzerland is low Proportional comparison of the number of despite its preponderance of gun homicides weapons - and arguably why a di-
Comparing gun crime in Switzerland and the USA
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Number of guns per 100 people
rect comparison cannot be made with the current American climate - is the culture of safety and responsibility so inherent in it’s society. Children as young as 12 are members of local gun groups, with the Swiss Shooting Sports Association containing 150,000 registered members. Despite this significant membership of gun owners, the association proudly claims “no members have ever used their guns for criminal purposes”. The correlation between social conditions and violent crime is firmly supported by Peter Squires, professor of criminology and public policy at the University of Brighton, who claims that they are “fundamental” in deterring crime and that a “culture of support” is more conducive to the prevention of mass killings than a focus on individualism. White House officials have acquiesced that the proposals do not signify a sure-fire prevention of mass shootings. Amongst those recommendations directly relating to firearms, only limitations on the capacity of ammunition clips could have had a tangible impact on the shooting in Newtown. Regardless, the current administration asserts that the package of proposals is substantial, as it would allow for greater enforcement of the illegal transfer of weapons, help prevent getting those from falling into the
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But how effective would more gun control be?”
wrong hands. This is in addition to, and perhaps most importantly in the case of incidents such as that of Sandy Hook Elementary, give schools and communities the resources to address violence when it occurs. However, the question still remains as to how America intends to address it’s inherent social conditioning regarding firearms. News outlets are quick to form an argument either defending or criticising gun control legislation, but essential to the debate is a nonpartisan understanding of its potential effects. Until it is understood that stricter regulations on firearms and those who possess them do not represent a constitutional violation, the debate around gun legislation will continue and little will change.
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In out, in our, or shake it all about? Business correspondent Aran Gnana talks about the prospect of leaving the European Union and what effects it could have WEF
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The speech will no doubt have caused tensions with Germany who are keen to promote further unity creasingly being shaped by emerg- law-making; at the moment, leg- legislation. David Cameron has aling economies, exit may actually islation in Brussels technically has ways spoken of the need to ease the give the UK the opportunity to focus to take precedence over law made regulatory burden on British busion establishing trade agreements in Westminster. In a letter to The nesses, and it seems clear that being with emerging economies such as Times newspaper, 55 business lead- out of Europe would allow Cameron Brazil or Russia, where long-term to pursue such an agenda. For ingrowth potential for businesses stance, the Working Time Directive may really lie. However, the truth is enforced by the EU, which restricts If Britain were out of that even if this is where economic the amount of time most people potential lies, it may be dampened work to 48 hours, is something the EU it would have by the fact that Britain may find it where change may be considered in firmer law control.” harder to secure trade deals as an order to give businesses more freeisolated country than it did securing ers wrote in support of Cameron’s dom with how they use their staff. deals as a part of the EU. plans to change Britain’s relationSince the start of the financial One thing for certain if Britain ship with Europe, and made refer- crisis in 2008, the British banking were out of the EU is that it would ence to the fact that they have been industry has been keeping tabs on once again have firmer control over burdened by the red tape of EU the regulatory pressure from the EU, with the most recent of these concerns being EU’s new banking union, which gives the European
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Political analysis
The economics of the EU are very different from the politics. Despite the various arguments for our continued presence in the EU, recent political debate has centered around fears about an all-encompassing super-state and, to a large extent, fear of losing jobs to foreign workers. The anti-EU bandwagon has been led by UKIP leader Nigel Farange as well as a large amount of ‘Eurosceptic’ members of the Conservative party. For Cameron, a relative Europhile, the issue has been much less about pushing forward his genuine beliefs and more about
appeasing the populist tendencies of his party. By promising a referendum, Cameron is able to gain political capital with the disgruntled parts of his party, but also win back many of the voters who have deserted to UKIP, who recently became the third largest party. With any luck, a move towards the right in his party and away from Europe could help secure a majority in the next election meaning they could leave the gradually eroding coalition with the Liberal Democrats. Regionally, the move will make few friends. Germany and France
have both made it clear that they would not be taken for a ride by the UK and that picking and chosing was not an option. Questions need to be asked about whether short-term gains (popular support) are worth the long-term losses which will occur if Britain leaves the EU. Britain standing alone on the periphery of Europe is considerably weaker than a key ally within the EU. The idea that the UK can function like the Nordic countries may seem possible to some, but many doubt that our former partners will accept it.
Central Bank (ECB) greater policing powers over many of the eurozone’s banks. Although many accept that such action is needed to address the ongoing problems of the eurozone, there are worries that the ECB may become powerful enough to wield influence over the banking industry. With London still cherishing its status as the world’s leading financial centre, there are fears that increased EU regulation may marginalise British banks or encourage them to relocate elsewhere. Despite this threat, there needs to be a note caution to the idea that the banking industry would be better off if Britain were outside the EU. At the moment, it is the eurozone’s main financial centre and an EU exit would potentially cause the ECB to clamp down on eurozone business being conducted ‘offshore’ (i.e. in the UK). In reality however, it seems that at heart Cameron wants Britain to stay inside the EU and would like to harness all the current benefits it receives, alongside improvements that he will seek over the next few years. For example, to avoid the worst of the red tape and banking unions, Cameron could ensure ‘necessary’ safeguards for Britain. Whether this ideal is actually possible is, however, another question. German chancellor Angela Merkel gave a diplomatic response to Cameron’s speech by indicating her willingness to talk, however the German and French Foreign Ministers warned that Britain cannot have EU membership according to their own terms. There’s no doubt that this is only the start of what is likely to be a long and rigorous debate over Britain’s uncertain relationship with Europe. rockcohen
n an eagerly anticipated speech on a bitterly cold morning in London, David Cameron announced plans regarding Britain’s deal with the EU that many Conservative MPs had been awaiting for many years. He said that there will be attempts to renegotiate the UK’s relationship with Europe over the next few years, and crucially put an amended package to the British public. There will also be a referendum to decide if Britain will stay in the EU, should the Conservative party win the next general election. Although Britain has always had a rather frosty relationship with the rest of Europe, whether Britain stays in the EU will no doubt have far reaching consequences in the long term. The economy is at the heart of this debate, as it continues to struggle. Since the onset of the economic crisis, it has often been said by many commentators (including the Governor of the Bank of England) that the UK economy needs restructuring towards becoming more export orientated. One of the current key features of EU membership is that there is freedom of the trade of goods and services between the 27 member states. Given that the EU is Britain’s main trading partner, the prospect of a UK exit may cause businesses in the UK to shudder as it could make trading abroad more difficult. However, it has been suggested that this problem could be overcome via bilateral trade agreements, much like the one Switzerland currently has with the EU. Furthermore, in an age where the global economy is in-
Given current polling it is unlikely the flag will continue to fly
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Zombie companies remain a priority to be addressed soon”
ployed elsewhere. These horror-movie firms are accused of making markets inefficient, taking up assets which would be better used by healthier business and, de facto, paralysing economic recovery. The debate on how to deal with zombie companies was revived after the Bank of England (BoE) downgraded its medium-term output forecast in its Inflation Reporting November. According to the report, the number of company liquidations is unnaturally below expectations, considering that the proportion of loss-making firms is now over 30% of the total. It is argued that the reason behind this phenomenon is the combination of an excessively loose monetary policy and forbearance by banks, who are
reluctant to write-off bad loans. Insolvency industry trade body R3 are calling for a restructuring of unviable companies and have expressed concern that the UK could face a long deflationary and stagnant period similar to the one experienced by Japan for two decades after its late 1980s bust. A further step backwards in terms of productivity growth and lost output is what policymakers fear the most. It seems that the only way out would be for the BoE to raise interest rates in order to eliminate the zombies companies burdening the economy, consequently allowing resources to shift to growing, profit-making firms. In essence, what growth needs is some ‘creative destruction’ (a term coined by economist, Joseph Schumpeter) which is associated with the idea that it is the entry of new firms in the market, which wipe off the old and inefficient ones, is what really keeps the business cycle going. But as with every problem, the solution is not so simple. As Ben Chu wrote in his blog in The Independent, there are a few reasons to be sceptical about zombie companies influencing the sluggish economic recovery.
It is important not to fall in the trap of ascribing a complex and deep-rooted issue, such as the current recession, to a single cause (the failing companies in this case). Among the many reasons why the recovery is so lethargic are the lack of access for businesses to credit, and incredibly feeble demand resulting in low spending levels. Zombie companies do however remain a priority which needs to be addressed soon. This has been expressed by Andrew Bailey, head of banking supervision at the Financial Services Authority, who stated: ‘It’s not a bad thing to be extending credit terms to companies in this way, providing it isn’t choking off new lending and new investment. That’s why we and the Bank of England are so focused on that question’. It is important to bear in mind that dealing with failing businesses will not be enough, especially if no banking sector reforms are to follow. The UK is in need of support of the real economy by banks, in the form of ensuring the flow of credit to businesses instead of, paradoxically, draining resources from other sectors because of the extra-large size of the banking system. grimisti
Camilla Giutsi Business correspendent ne in ten UK businesses cannot generate sufficient revenues to pay off their debts, but are still operating thanks to low interest rates and banks’ forbearance (refraining from taking action against firms). Does this army of financially ‘undead’ represent a threat for the UK economy? Rising concern has been expressed regarding so-called ‘zombie’ companies, accused of being a major barrier to economic growth. The main feature of such companies is their ability to pay interest on their debt but not the debt itself, or even face any unexpected costs. Essentially they sit there, unable to invest or innovate, tying up resources which could be better em-
Zombie companies may be more dangerous than real zombies
Future of television Helen Edworthy bathimpact writer n February 1st, a $100m budget TV show titled ‘House of Cards’, an extended version of a BBC mini-series aired its pilot. The show stars big name actor Kevin Spacey, who plays a scheming, underhanded congressman. The show in many ways sounds like any other, save for one catch; House of Cards is a web original, and not a the low-budget sense. The show, produced by Netflix, has been hailed as part of a ‘third wave of television’, which is seeing a move from the more traditional oneepisode-at-once format TV channels provide, and onto a mass consumption programming ‘binge’. Netflix has
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noticed this, and as such is releasing all the episodes of House of Cards at the same time as the pilot – however Netflix are not the only online video service that has notice this. Amazon, who own the company LoveFilm (a very similar company to Netflix), have commissioned six television pilots with plans for film development. The assumed idea behind streaming sites creating their own content is due to content costs; in 2011, Netflix supposedly spent $4.8 billion on securing content, and investing the money into creating their own helps reduce some of this cost. Netflix’s eventual goal is to become an HBOtype company, with both its own content and the streaming rights to re-runs. For other video streaming site
like YouTube, increasing revenue is more of a concern than reducing costs; due to relying so heavily on advertising, YouTube hopes that increased investment into ‘professional’ usercontent channels will encourage advertisers who do not wish to promote their products alongside bad-quality or politically-volatile. This new trend in online video follows the increasing trend for people to watch the majority of their programming online; 2012 saw an increase in the average percentage of online programming watched exclusively by Americans, from 37% (around 7 hours a month).Only time will tell if this move towards online-exclusive content will have a major effect on TV programming.
Economics of... Love
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his year, the 14th February will be celebrated with the usual tradition of Ben & Jerry’s, a packet of Kleenex and the gentle sound of my own tears lulling me to sleep as I realise that, once again, despite the hustle and bustle of everyday life, despite the endless amount of communication I have every day, I am really alone and most likely always will be. I will also celebrate it by going into the finite deals of the macro and micro economics of Valentine’s Day and with any luck, work out how economical love is. Valentine’s Day, like Christmas Day, creates a bizarre anomaly to the average economist. For the most part, through its constant search for efficiency, economics does not understand altruism. From the perspective of macro-economics the picture is a bit clearer. To put it bluntly: love-sick morons and disgruntled men trapped by the pressures of consumerism spending billions of pounds on teddy-bears and flowers which will no doubt be tomorrow’s landfill. It is estimated that in 2012 around $17.6bn was pumped into the US economy with almost all of it going to the highstreet rather than the internet (in fact only 20% of love bugs plan to use their computers at all). Valentine’s Day also presents an interesting socio-economic phenomena; unlike Christmas with its relentless, often tasteless advertising, Valentine’s Day is ingrained in the minds of millions of brainwashed men. The advertising will subtly push lovesick men towards speciality shops such as jewellers, florists and (if you’re that way inclined) lingerie stores. For the
lonely, the day may symbolise another year of solitude and increasing sexual irrelevance. For these specialist stores, however, it is the most important period of the year; $1.8bn will be spent on flowers, $3.4bn in restaurants and $4.1bn on jewellery. It’s a win-win situation for everyone bar the poor chap who has to dish out the money to pay for it all only to find his girlfriend of two years has been sleeping with that muscly personal trainer who “just gets her”. Why Holly, why?! But let’s take this in the micro direction; let’s look at the individual, and attempt to answer the question of ‘what is love’. Love economics is an extension of the Social Exchange Theory, which explains social interactions in economic terms, benefits and costs. At the centre of love economics is the Love Economic Model; the Model assumes people fall in love because the total benefit of being in love outweighs the total cost. So the probability of falling in love is related to your perception of the probability of net benefit resulting from being head over heels. I simply do not have the space to go into details of the cost-benefit analysis, but I do have time to tell you that the emotion commonly known as ‘love’ is little more than a series of rational thoughts our brains calculate taking into account breakup risks, attractiveness, emotional and sexual needs etc. To put it simply, that overwhelming, ‘biologically-constructed’, emotional feeling that you believe justifies spending hundreds of pounds once a year is little more than the consequence of basic economics. And I wonder why I’m single. Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day! carowillis
‘Undead’ economies
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A heart made of sweets; both are symbols of capitalism
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Techno, currywurst and efficiency Jeff Bevan talks about the Politics Society’s trip to the German capital The group visited many historical and political landmarks during the time we spent in Berlin. The highlight of these, for me, was the guided tour of the Reichstag building. Our friendly Bavarian guide took us through over a century of German history from the perspective of this grand structure at the centre of Berlin. The tour was followed by a walk around the glass dome
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Never have so few listened to so much techno.”
which now sits on top of the building, which provided us with spectacular views of the city’s skyline at night-time and was a nice conclusion to the first day of our visit. While of course Germany is a country with a rich cultural history, whether united or divided, as a tourist you cannot escape at least acknowledgement of the two major defining events for the state in the last one hundred
years; the terrible atrocities of the Nazi regime and the descent of the Iron curtain, which divided not only Germany but Berlin as well. Visits to locations marking these events were necessary to understanding the Germany we were experiencing in the present. The East side gallery is a beautiful myriad of artwork on the remains of the Berlin wall, each piece with its own political or philosophical message. Our trip to the Memorial to the murdered Jews of Europe was a particularly sombre experience. Other notable museums were: the Topography of Terror, charting the rise of the National socialist party, and the Jewish-German museum, detailing the relationship between the two peoples across the ages. Our extensive travelling around the city was facilitated by the incredible public transport system of Berlin; we marvelled at the efficiency of the UBahn and S-Bahn as well as the tram system throughout the city. Some of the group even travelled outside of Berlin to visit the Sachsenhausen concentration camp. Throughout the trip we were treat-
ed to popular German cuisine; plenty of currywurst and schnitzel were eaten! But we also ate at the quirky restaurant “White Trash” and had a team dinner at a local Vietnamese establishment. No trip to Berlin could be complete without experiencing the famed
night-life; never have so few listened to so much techno in so short a time. We attended a sound art festival at the world-famous Berghain night-club, which was definitely a surreal experience I will never forget. Other nights included a night out at Tresor for further appreciation of techno music. SamFitzpatrick
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he University’s Politics Society recently returned from their trip to Berlin, capital of Germany. I am confident that I speak on behalf of all who went when I say that it was both a thoroughly enjoyable time and an experience I will not forget soon; a perfect mix of historical sight-seeing and night-life sampling. We arrived late on Sunday evening at Berlin-Schönefeld International Airport after a one and half hour flight from Bristol. With snow on the ground and continental winter closing in, we boarded the S-bahn to our accommodation, The Wombats Hostel. The hostel was a five minute walk from the central Alexanderplatz, is most definitely a place to recommend; with a wide variety of room types and services available. The bar, which served 1.5 litres of German Beer for five Euros, perhaps being the best of these services! On the first night some braved the cold outside and ventured to the popular Berlin club, Weekend; while others prepared for the days ahead with some much needed sleep.
Indie chic outside the Berliner Dom located on a frozen Spree
Creative avoidance Viva Espana! Thomas Gane bite Editor impact-bite@bath.ac.uk
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MattBuck
his isn’t exactly a traditional travel article. It does involve travel and how people get the most out of it, but in this instance “it” is money and this article will explain how people are able to keep as much of it as possible while also getting from one end of the country to another. There are some ethical issues here, but that’s a topic for another day. For now let’s call it gonzo journalism, Free Loading on First Great Western: A Free Journey to the Heart of Middle England, infiltrating the pandemic of Britain’s train dodging gangs. The easiest way people avoid paying for travel is obviously to choose when one travels carefully. There’s a
trade-off here, barriers versus conductors. If one travels late then most of the barriers at stations are left open. However, this time varies from station to station and the potential fare dodger must make a calculated guess. For example, after about 8.309 at Bath it is possible to just walk in and usually get on a train to Bristol or Cardiff and have the gates open at that end too. If a conductor were to ask one would obviously pay, but if no one asks then it’s physically impossible for a traveller to pay. Obviously the conductor is an issue, but if one were to travel at peak times there’s no way they’re going to go through the entire train and find someone. However, this does create the issue of getting off the stations and to point two. Know thy station. For example,
This train doesn’t know what’s about to hit it
did you know that Colchester North station, the mainland service, runs a regular service to Colchester Town station that can be accessed without going through any barriers? This service costs a few pounds at most, tickets are available on the train and there are no barriers at Colchester Town. It’s further out of town than Colchester North but the potential train dodger would obviously be willing to walk if it would save themselves quite a lot of money. There’s a similar situation at Cardiff, as from Cardiff Central it is possible to get to Cardiff Queen Street without going through a barrier and there’s a ticket person on Queen Street station. From there one could ask for a ticket from Heath High Level which with a railcard comes to about £1.60. A key part of this is obviously a bit of local station knowledge. Know thy route - this is a bit more complex but can be incredibly cheap. To give an example, trains from London Paddington to Bristol usually depart from platform 4 or 5 and trains for Cardiff or Swansea from 1, 2 or 3. Platforms 1,2 and 3 have barriers to every exit whereas 4 and 5 can be accessed from the Underground (know thy station). So, if one was willing to wait a while at Bristol they could get the next train to Cardiff Central, hop over to Queen Street and they would have reached your destination for the grand total of £1.60.
Tom Ash bathimpact Writer arrived in Madrid with a certain sense of trepidation. A childhood experience of near auto-decapitation on a Menorcan telephone wire (don’t ask), coupled with reports of economic crisis, had not endowed me with a favourable impression of Spain as a whole. But it is here that I am to make my home for the next five months. My unease proved unfounded. Madrid is a capital city much like any other; bustling with people, decked with light (solar or artificial, take your pick) and monuments from all periods of Spain’s history. Everything is amazingly cheap; sandwiches are 1€, beer is cheaper than water, wine less pricey than Coke. My friends explain that this is the reason British tourists have a bad reputation; the price of a pint in a Bath pub will buy you said pint plus dinner here. Strolling through the Plaza del Sol though, I witness my first protest. A major TV station is laying off 90% of its staff and they aren’t best pleased. Later that evening my Spanish ‘minders’, if they’ll pardon the expression, lead me towards my second; the ruling conservative party has been involved in a scandal involving diverted public funds for
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some time, and a national daily has just published the evidence which proves the president’s personal involvement. Under the direction of a bald little man with a megaphone, we get caught up chanting along with the protesters ‘Demision! Demision!’ (‘Resignation! Resignation’) and ‘Este Presidente/es un deliquente’ (‘This President/is a criminal’). Despite being British, I’d never known complaining could be such fun. Jovial as they may sound, the demonstrations are the result of deep social and economic issues (blah-blah, get back to telling us about the cheap booze). They aren’t visible, most of the time, except when you wander through the back streets and notice that two thirds of the shops are shut. At first I thought it was just lunchtime (which here runs from three until five), but on further observation I realised the closure was permanent. A shame, because from the shredded posters it looks as though one of them sold some very unique sex toys. There you have them, then, my first impressions of Madrid. Beer, bocadillos, political protests and customised dildos. By the standards of most, a good evening’s entertainment then.
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Britain vs. Italy: who loves the best? H
ow about writing a piece entitled “English versus Italian”? Now, not being the paper’s gastro expert I knew they couldn’t be asking me to write an article on Spaghetti Bolognaise versus sausage and mash. Nor am I the Sports Editor so they couldn’t be talking about Totti versus Beckham (and we all know which one would win hands down - or should I say pants down!) What’s left? Think Romeo and Juliet versus Kathy and Heathcliff; yes, Romance. Now on the face of it, Italians have the reputation of being the world’s best lovers, but lovers aren’t boyfriends or husbands. So are we talking purely about English versus Italian as bedroom partners? If so, let’s look at multi-tasking; we all know women can multi task, but are both nations up to the challenge? Italians are focused, singlemindedly setting out to get the girl. They truly will stop at nothing, giving it their all; they follow through with big romantic methods. Even at 11 years old it consists of hand written love letters, big soft toys, poems or heart shaped key ring. I can’t say though
that I probably didn’t cause some of this - only being in Italy for two months when, asking for a tissue I accidently asked my male friend to get into his bed. I may have been considered polite asking please at the end - but I can’t deny that it led to a very awkward pause. However, they are also this single-minded when it comes to watching or playing football, or eating. Scarlett Johannson could
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Italian men are single minded...they do one thing at a time”
walk past a group of Italians watching their local football team, and while they would obviously appreciate her beauty, their attention would not defer from scoring on the pitch rather than off. Not to mention that you should never interrupt an Italian eating pasta! This focus obviously would translate well into the bedroom, but where does this leave romance when the Italian has “won the match and scored”? Without a doubt, Italians have the upper hand when it comes to the chase;
they are confident and direct, but if you’re in for the long haul then the English come into their own. English boys follow different rules. They are more relaxed and cool about the whole thing - how many of you have been asked the night before to go out on Valentines? In my experience however, I do have to admit that the big stuff for English guys seems to come later. The ‘relationship’ in the U.K is when the romantic gestures hit, and to be fair that is probably when it counts. Italians love the chase; they race home for their pasta and take pleasure in every mouthful. But that’s all that is left; the idea of the chase, because once they have the girl, that’s it. They have a single goal and pursue it, mission accomplished. It’s like the advice my mother has given me; ‘Scarlett, Italian men are single minded in that respect, they do one thing at a time; either they watch football, eat pasta or make love, they don’t juggle. But English men, well, they are able to have something cooking in the oven, the football on tv in the background and make sure his female companion thinks he is David Beckham, Totti, Romeo and Heathcliff rolled into one!’
Andika Skriva пиша Write 创作 Escribir
carowallis
Scarlett Clark looks at which men make the best lovers in Europe
The Italians are seen to be romantics, but more so than Brits?
bathimpact wants writers from all over the world. Get in touch. impact-features@bath.ac.uk
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Prof. Science: how to stay awake? D
ear Professor Science, why can I not stay awake in lectures and how do I improve my attentiveness? - Anonymous fan Great question Anony. First of all let us explore why is sleep. Thomas Edison claimed that it was a waste of time and he famously built the suburban electric railway from Hoboken to Gladstone and, as such, is obviously deserving of our respect. The only woman ever to have been made completely of iron only slept for four hours a night and banned coal miners from having an income. Don’t look it up, just trust me on this one. I tried to find out why people need sleep by keeping a large number of my experimental subjects awake but eventually they all either fell asleep or went insane. Then fell asleep. I did find, however, that many different people require a different amount of sleep. If you are constantly struggling to stay awake during the day then you most probably need a longer sleep each night than you are getting. There is almost a consensus in the sleeping science community that there are certain types of sleep that actually make you feel rested and it occurs in cycles. It is generally consid-
ered that our circadian rhythms are endogenous but do respond to zeitgebers which is why arctic animals have a higher tendency to polyphasia than equatorial animals. As such there are a various number of proponents for having a higher number of “sleeps” during any 24 hour period. The theory is that if you sleep a higher number of times you can sleep for less time but enter “wasteful” sleep states (such as R.E.M.) less often, thus making you just as rested
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First off, try to do things that you enjoy.”
but in a much lower total time. One such scheme is named the “uberman” and involves 6 sets of 20 minutes of sleep a day thus increasing one’s waking hours to 22 per day. I tried this once and I learnt one very important point about polyphasic sleep – it will really annoy your housemates. As far as I can tell the only thing that will happen to you if you have too little sleep is that you will become too much like a crack whore. And no one wants that! Though I did learn a few
things about how to stay awake. First off, try to do things that you enjoy. Or at the very least try not to do things that you don’t enjoy. As such, let me give you a hypothesis, Anonymous. If you sleep in classes they are not engaging you sufficiently – I hardly ever fall asleep during coitus due to the vague amount of enjoyment I can usually generate. If you manage to fall asleep in class then you have to ask yourself: Why are you at university doing this course that you don’t enjoy? Idiot. If, like me, you fell for the myth that it makes you more employable than 3 years in an actual job then I am sorry. This will not help you stay awake, though. What might actually help you is doing work outside of lectures to allow you to understand what is actually going on in your lecturer’s mind and thus enjoy the work and stay awake. Secondly, you could take up smoking – though basically any addiction is useful for wakefulness. You could also try not being so weak and just keep your eyes open during lectures! This is literally the most direct way to not be asleep! If this feels like too much work then caffeine can help. Try that.
Professor science tries his hardest to stay awake to no avail
How our pets are feline murderous bathimpact writer Holly Narey goes into the inner minds of your cats monitor (let alone the strays). The total cat population of the country is estimated at around 8 million. It has been found that one in three of these charming pets is a hunter (the other two are probably too morbidly obese), and they only bring home around 20% of their kills. That means that for each little mouse you witness gasping for its last breath on your kitchen floor, there are another four killed in secret. Only two of those are
eaten, maximum. The other two are just for a laugh. Well no, not for a laugh. We have domesticated and bred these creatures to suit our laps and firesides, but we forget that they are, by nature, little savages. It is only recently coming to light the sheer enormity of the damage they do to the environment around us; estimated at a toll of around 55 million birds a year. The worst affected are thought to be speHannibalPoernaru
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iaow. I gaze at her with love, she bestows upon me an indifferent glance. She steps daintily over to me and drops her latest offering at my feet. “This,” her look seems to say, “is how it’s done”. Most people I know either own or have owned a cat at one time. They are arguably the perfect pet; adorable, independent, and companionable (when it suits them). Humans have loved and worshipped the cat for thousands of years, they symbolise grace and beauty, and they charm us with their haughty, fickle, yet soft nature. Over the last few days however, headlines have been decrying them as tiny little murders, cold-blooded killers that tear apart the innocent for the sheer fun of it. From Nature to the Daily Mail, the reaches of a recently published paper are so far flung that even The Oatmeal has just published an extremely entertaining comic on the subject. Run, my friends, the cats have infiltrated our society and have been secretly decimating the population of birds and small mammals. We may be next. Around 19% of the population of Britain owns at least one cat. Due to the casual nature of cat ownership, the numbers are near impossible to
Is this a friend or a pure, maniacal, calculated murdered?
cies such as house sparrows (already in steady decline), dunnocks and robins. We are in no way the worst effected; America, where the research has recently been done, has more than ten times the number of cats than in Britain, and the death toll has been calculated at between 1.4 and 3.7 billion birds and between 6.9 and 20.7 billion mammals every year. The mind boggles at such figures.
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Suggestions have been made to enforce cat registration”
Suggestions have been made to enforce registration of cats, and attempts to limit the density of them in certain areas. A simple suggestion is to attach a bell to the collar of the cat, but this can occasionally lead to behavioural problems, and anyway, they often manage to wriggle out of these collars. There have also been suggestions that this just leads to the cat honing its hunting skills to suit the altered conditions, making it a super-hunter. In one study, cats
with bells eventually started catching more birds than the bell-less ones. One New Zealander, Gareth Morgan, has launched a campaign to rid the country of cats, by encouraging people to have their cats neutered, keep them indoors for 24 hours a day and make them their last pet of this kind. Over 40% of the Kiwi population own at least one cat, and most of them have been outraged at his proposal. When asked if he thought people should just euthanize their pets he responded “not necessarily, but that is an option”. Some may be shocked, but perhaps this is just another case where we are slowly coming to the realisation that something that we have accepted as normal, something we believe we are all entitled to if we wish it, is perhaps not truly right for us or the planet as a whole. People love and worship their cats, and banishing Felis catus to the annals of history would be too much for this generation to handle, it is easy to shut out the reality of the situation whilst sat next to your tiny, furry friend in front of the fire. Perceptions are not going to change overnight, especially not with her sleeping at the end of my bed, purring softly.
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2013: what to expect in technology Esther Mensah informs bathimpact about the good, bad and crazy
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warded and documents are opened and closed just by bending the screen. Information can be passed from one PaperTab to another via gentle taps of one screen onto the other. You can extend the screens by placing two PaperTabs next to one another, and due to its thinness, its easy to drag information between the screens using your finger. Despite its tiny depth, the PaperTab doesn’t compromise on its central processing unit, as it incorporates an Intel core i5 processor. The only thing that could be improved on however is the fact that everything
is in black and white, making the on screen contents look rather dull and uninviting. Not to mention the horrible possibility of mistaking it for a piece of scrap paper and attempting to rip it in half. Despite this, super flexible technology is now possible, opening up possibilities of translating this into mobile phones, televisions, hospital equipment... Have you ever thought that your
Virgin Galactic will be launching its first flight to outer-space later this year glasses could do so much more than isn’t as useful as the above two tech- very interesting. Here, the developers just let you see things in focus? Well nological advances, seeing as we have have claimed that army tanks will be Google clearly thought this 13th cen- GPS, Bluetooth and cameras already undetectable during the night as the tury invention needed an update on our mobile phones. tanks are easily able to evade infraand is set to launch the Google Glass Other devices we don’t know too red night vision goggles and surveil2.0. These sleek goggles will incor- much much about yet are Virgin Ga- lance planes by using thermal electric porate GPS and Bluetooth technol- lactaca- good ol’ Richard Branson’s tiles and cameras to become its surogy, a camera and the internet. Okay space tourism venture is set to start rounding environment. How very not the internet, but don’t put it past in December; the Xbox 720 - which chameleon-like. them when the Google Glass 3.0 is re- is working with AMD who claims that So there you have it, a mere fracleased. While this could be useful to the graphics will be on the same level tion of what 2013 promises to bring. I people, say, in the spy business, this as Avatar; and the Invisible Tank - de- looks like our caveman-like existence particular piece of facewear probably fense technology I’m afraid, but still is set to change forever.
Tom Ash bathimpact Writer ver the past year or so we have been inundated with new electrical devices, pushing the boundaries of modern technology as well as our bank balance. There have been a few genuine technological revolutions, such as the Retina Display screens, 3D screens and some incredibly powerful, handheld devices. However, looking through the portfolios of products that companies like Apple and Samsung have, it becomes apparent that the majority of their products are technologically identical, but come in a plethora of sizes. The introduction of the smartphone began in 2007 with the original iPhone. This was essentially a 3.5 inch computer. It was released at a time when desktops PCs were really being replaced by laptops and netbooks, and the smartphone allowed even more portability. However, it wasn’t long before a device with a size somewhere between that of a smartphone and a laptop was demanded, and thus came the birth of the iPad and the tablet market. You would think that anyone with a smartphone, a tablet and a laptop would be satisfied, but
you would be wrong. The power and functionality of a laptop was worked into smaller Netbooks and then Ultrabooks, smartphones continued to grow in size with the introduction of ‘phablets’ and tablets became ever smaller offering devices down to 7 inches in size. Samsung is a good place to start when considering the varying sizes of their products. The Galaxy SII for example boasted a 4.3 inch screen, 0.8 inches larger than that of the iPhone 4. This meant that its functionality,
usability and capability increased allowing users to easily type, draw, watch movies and create documents. Apparently this wasn’t big enough however. The Galaxy SIII was released in May 2012 with a whopping 4.8 inch screen, really testing the size of trouser pockets. This increase perhaps suggests that smartphones will keep increasing in size until they can replace the small-ish 7 inch tablets. After all, Samsung had already released their first ‘phablet’, a hybrid smartphone and tablet, the Samsung
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Super flexible technology is now possible opening possibilities”
MischaVarmuza
elcome to the age of invention. In the 17th century the noble telescope came on the scene and mad everyone scream in delight. Mr Alexander Cummings invented the flush toilet in the 18 century, the lad. The 19th brought along the telephone and the 20th the airplane. Now things are getting even more high-tech. 2013 is promising to be the most creative year yet, with a myriad of technological stuff that we’ll soon find it impossible to live without. Why, I remember a time when having a mobile phone was all about playing snake, and receiving the odd phone call from your mum asking you why the hell you weren’t home from school yet. If 11 year old me was to see what 2013 will bring, she’d probably faint. First off the tablet. No silly pharmacists, don’t get all excited. I meant that touchscreen thingamajig that’s all the rage these days. At the moment they seem pretty well sorted don’t they. How else could they possibly improve upon its already awesome awesomeness? Well I give you the PaperTab. With the look and feel of a single sheet of A4 paper, this could revolutionize the way that we use computers. E-book pages are turned, videos are re-winded and fast-for-
Technology: is bigger really better? O
Galaxy Note. This came with a 5.3 inch screen and was large enough to warrant the use of a stylus. This was superseded by the Galaxy Note II with a 5.5 inch screen, slightly bigger than the first Galaxy Note. Despite the increases in screen size painting what appeared to be a clear future of the size of smartphones, in November 2012, Samsung released the Galaxy SIII Mini, with a mere 4 inch screen, marginally smaller than the Galaxy SII. It was this release that made me
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Do we as customers really know what sized devices we want?”
The Samsung SII was a good example of varying product sizes
think, do customers really know what we want? Looking at the software that all of these devices contain, nothing has really changed since the Galaxy SII, and the hardware hasn’t seen any radical improvements either. Therefore the biggest difference between this portfolio of devices is their size. Perhaps a better example to explain the point I am trying to suggest is the Nintendo DS. Released in Europe in 2005, the DS (Dual Screen) offered a
revolutionary handheld-gaming experience. In February 2011, the Nintendo 3DS was released, again offering a revolutionary experience; the ability to view games in 3D without the need for glasses. However, the product development between the original DS and the 3DS is the most interesting part. After the DS came the DS Lite, a smaller more compact product, yet still offering the same features. Then came the DSi; a DS Lite with a camera. This was followed by a DSi XL; the same as a DSi but with a 4.2 inch screen instead of the 3.25 that the DSi offered. Then came the 3DS, a with a 3.5 inch 3D screen, again offering very similar features to that of the original DS. And then, lo and behold, the 3DS XL, with a screen 90% larger than that of the 3DS, was released just 6 months after the 3DS. The screen quality, battery life and processing power of all of these models has remained relatively constant, and so proves my point that most electronic devices that are released today are merely different sized replicas of their predecessors. This leads me to the question, do we as customers really know what sized devices we want? Or are the manufacturers just guessing and seeing what sticks?
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Activities
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BodySoc continue dancing streak I
three more great performances by the Jazz Squad to Jason Mraz’s ‘Make It Mine’ choreographed by Danielle Melhuish, the Contemporary squad to Jack’s Mannequin’s ‘Dark Blue’ choreographed by Mahori Shigeta and the Hip Hop squad to Beyoncé’s ‘Run the World’ choreographed by Sophie Tourret. After all universities had performed, the three celebrity judges, including Lizzie from So You Think
three dancers in each squad. We then headed back to the coach, ready to sleep after such an exciting and rewarding day.
BodySoc is now looking forward to its second competition in Loughborough in March, and of course our annual dance show in April.
This year’s theme is Dancing Down Route 66 and should be lots of fun – make sure you come watch! All competition dances will be featured. BodySoc
Sophie Tourret BodySoc Publicity Officer t’s Saturday 1 December, 6 a.m. in the East Car Park, and 39 sleepy but excited dancers are getting on a coach to Royal Holloway University of London for the Get Down @ RHUL Dance Competition. This is the first year that BodySoc has entered this competition, and we started big, entering all five advanced categories: Jazz, Ballet, Tap, Contemporary and Hip Hop. After a long and freezing (the heating was broken!) journey spent going over steps and doing hair and makeup, we finally made it to the competition, and joined the other ten universities, including Warwick and LSE, backstage. Ballet went first, and our Bath squad completely stole the show with Mahori Shigeta’s Nutcracker dance. They obtained an impressive score of 96 out of 100 from the three celebrity judges. Some say they even elicited a few tears from audience members… This lucky streak continued in the next category, with a brilliant performance by the Tap squad to Glee’s rendition of ‘Le Jazz Hot’, choreographed by Stephanie Hawkins, which obtained a high score of 92 out of 100. BodySoc members danced beautifully throughout the day, with
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BodySoc members danced beautifully throughout the day”
You Can Dance, gave exclusive breath-taking performances. We university dancers participated in a dance battle, which quickly broke out into a mini-rave as everyone celebrated their squads’ performances. Then came the moment we’d all been waiting for – the awards. Bath won First Place in both Ballet and Tap, an achievement the choreographers and dancers were very proud of. We completed this with our own personal award ceremony, awarding prizes such as ‘Most HardWorking’ and ‘Most Improved’ to
BodySoc celebrate after a successful tournament at the Royal Holloway University of London
Interview: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof bathimpact talks to director Madelaine Winn about the production
Tell us about a Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. The story is basically one of a prominent Southern dynasty which is pushed to the brink when memories are relived and life altering secrets are revealed. It’s the 65th birthday of wealthy Southern plantation owner Big Daddy and his family has gathered to celebrate, while keeping the news that he is dying of cancer from him – mainly to secure definite shares of Big Daddy’s enormous wealth. Within the plot are various other individual stories which crossover eachother, but the underlying themes are deceit, sexual frustration and acceptance of death.
Tennessee Williams was very direct in what he wanted from directors. How have you taken this? He was very particular in what he wanted and there are lengthy stage directions. This ‘plastic theatre’ limits a lot of what you really can do and of course you want to
keep true to what the playwright had in mind. It’s normally set in the 1950’s but I decided to move it to the 1960’s because it’s a fun era and wanted something a little different, but it absolutely works. The play is set in Deep South USA. How are the cast aplomb
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n March 7th-9th BUST will be performing Cat on a Hot Tin Roof at the Museum of Bath at Work at 7.30. bathimpact interviewed first-time directior Madeline Winn to find our a little bit more.
finding the accents and mannerisms? We are only at beginning of rehearsals but they seem to be getting into things really well. During our read through, it was really quite embarrassing as one of our cast was ill and I had to take over. The whole cast seemed native whilst I just couldn’t hack it.
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It is, fundamentally. a story of deciet so everyone is hiding”
We have already talked about the themes, but which one inspired you the most? The relationship between the characters are particularly interesting, none more so than that of Brick and Molly. Molly is the ‘cat on a hot tin roof’; this Southern belle who is throwing herself at her husband, Brick, but he is so distant and confused.
Are there any other characters who interested you? I think every character has something going on. It is, fundamentally, a story of deceit so every character is hiding something. Seeing how the cast develops this is particularly fun. This is your first time directing. How is it going? It’s a very daunting challenge and there is a lot of pressure on your shoulder. But the cast has been so supportive and proffessional, which makes the direction much easier. Are there any performances you think will shine on the night? Honestly, it is still early days, but so far everyone has been behaving with the upmost profesionalism. Tickets for ‘Cat on a hot tin roof’ will go on sale soon
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bathimpact
Sport
www.bathimpact.com
Wednesday Sport with Tia Skinner University of Bath Netball Women’s 1st UWIC Netball Women’s 1st
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he first BUCS Wednesday back after the New Year proved to be the toughest yet for the Netball 1st team, who faced UWIC in a clash for the title of the Premier South League. With the season looking as strong as ever for our reigning BUCS champions it all came down to the final game of the season that was a must win if they were going to get the points that tied them with 1st placed UWIC, which would have then resulted in the title being decided by goal difference. Spirits were high in the Sports Training Village where waves of excitement and pride were still flowing from the England test series against Australia, which saw a historic whitewash over the world number ones, beginning here in Bath. With the victory claiming to be the beginning of a new era for English Netball as well as the return of 3 England players to the squad, a well contested fixture was expected on Wednesday and the players did not fail to impress. The first quarter got off to an intense start, with both sides wanting to break away and take an early lead. With possession chang-
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ing rapidly as each side made great efforts to steal control of the ball, neither team made the convincing break they were seeking. UWIC’s defence stepped up to apply great pressure to the Bath attack, who in return displayed great patience and skill to work the ball around the shooting circle and accurately get the ball into the shooters to sink the shots that kept them on the tail of the visiting side. The first quarter ended with UWIC leading by a five goal advantage, with the score at UWIC 13-8 Bath. The starting phases of the second quarter revealed Bath’s fighting spirit and determination as captain Mia Ritchie made a fantastic interception that immediately turned over a UWIC centre pass. The momentum continued for the home side as the defensive duo of Kate McGinley and Lauren Dent (both playing out of position) closed down on the UWIC attack. Rebounds were convincingly won, and strong play through court closed the gap by one as the second quarter ended with UWIC 2420 Bath. Yet it was the third quarter that really showed the class and unwa-
vering determination of our 1st team, as 3 consecutive UWIC centre passes were turned over and converted to goals. With the pressure on the UWIC attack and efficient play through the mid court, Bath brought it back to only a one goal deficit with the score at 25-26. Yet the leading side did not lose their composure and capitalised on every opportunity they had to steal the ball back and convert it to goal. The remaining seconds of the quarter saw UWIC up the tempo, staying tight on their opponents to leave the score at 34-31 going into the fourth and final quarter. With the league title resting on this last quarter, it was all or nothing for both sides, as either team could have taken the win. But despite Bath’s best efforts, it was the away side that took the advantage. A staggering interception from the UWIC GD in the centre third confirmed their seven goal lead with only two minutes left to go and unfortunately Bath couldn’t close the gap. The final whistle ended the game at UWIC 43-36 Bath, but it was a fantastic performance from both sides. With such persistence and the ability for players to match the fantastic standard out of position Bath can now focus their efforts to maintaining the championship title.
University of Bath Netball 1s are brave in a 43-36 defeat at the hands of UWIC Netball 1s
Bath 1s avoid relegation with a victory over Swansea 1s
University of Bath Football Men’s 1st Swansea University Football Men’s 1st
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nter-semester break proved to be a busy week for the men’s football first team, not only having a tough fixture on Wednesday against 2nd place Chichester, but also hosting Swansea on Friday. With the season drawing to a close and the BUCS championship games on the horizon, a detrimental loss on Wednesday to Chichester put the boys under great pressure to stay out of the relegation zone in the league. As such, Friday’s fixture was make or break for the squad, as a loss would have put them in a dangerous 4th place position with only one match left to go against the league leaders Hartpury, who had previously secured an impressive victory when last visiting Bath. Bouncing back into the game after an important loss on Wednesday did not phase the team and even though the pressure was on the skill and determination that won the BUCS championship last season was still in the mix of a relatively young side. The first half saw Bath gradually begin to set the tempo and take control, putting their stamp on the game in the early phases with several promising attempts on goal. An accurate cross into their opponent’s box saw the ball reach the target of the goal mouth and almost tip over the keepers reach but a fantastic save kept the score line level. Bath were hungry to take the lead and began pressing Swansea
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to keep possession in their opponents half and a through ball from winger Dan Marioni to attacking midfielder Will Halliston split the defence and left a one on one opportunity with the goal keeper. Despite a controlled chip attempt, the boys were once again denied the lead as the Swansea keeper made another good save. With the attacking breaks building and Bath applying more pressure, a corner kick into striker Tom Andrews finally broke the dead lock, giving Bath a 1-0 lead from a good header going into the half time break. The second half saw much of the same, with Bath dominating possession and still pushing for goals to confirm their lead. By coming together with confidence and a focus on taking the 3 points it was only a matter of time before Bath added another goal. Great solo work from Halliston saw him glide past three defenders and slide the ball into the bottom left hand corner of the net making it 2-0 with 35 minutes left to play. Despite Swansea’s best efforts to come back into the game with a header nearly curving over the Bath goal keeper, Bath’s defence held up well, clearing the ball and preventing any danger from reaching their goal. The final whistle blew and after admirable determination and glimpses of great skill Bath are clear of the relegation zone and go into the championship games in high spirits.
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Monday 11th February 2013
bathimpact
Sport
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Chris Rawlinson impactsport Reporter
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ave you ever watched a professional cyclist on the TV and thought “WOW! I want to have a go at that”? If you tuned into any of the Olympic coverage this summer, then the chances are the answer to this question is yes. Last semester on a Wednesday afternoon the Cycling Club took over the Wales National Velodrome in Newport. The group of 19 contained a mixture of road and off road cyclists, and even a triathlete. The majority of people had never tried track cycling before, and as such turned up with nervous excitement. The first thing that hits you when you enter a velodrome is the sheer size of it! Looking over the edge of the banked wooden corners reinforced the sense of awe, and shortly after being fitted with our track bikes we got onto the track for a few introductory activities so we could get a feel for our bikes.
We started off on the easiest ‘green’ and ‘light blue’ bands on the inside of the track to allow us to practice accelerating and ‘braking’, which was more of a challenge than you may first imagine. Track bikes have fixed wheels meaning that while you are moving you cannot stop pedalling - also they have no brakes. The technique for slowing down is to resist the automatic turning of the pedals. After a few laps of moving higher and faster under the instruction of our coach for the day we all found our confidence growing, and after about the fifth lap I found I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face! We all got a go at trying our hand at a 500m sprint and ‘leapfrog’, which finished with an exciting individual pursuit between two of the club’s top riders. However my favourite part of the day was a group riding activity where one by one the front rider from each group had to accelerate off, with the aim being to catch up with the back of the group in as short a distance as possible. This required
Pierre Thomas
Get on your bike with the Cycling Club
University of Bath Cycling Club take a trip to the Wales National Velodrome to try out the track you to concentrate on maintaining afternoon well spent in the sad- way through to seasoned semithe pace, and not accelerating until dle. As a new ‘fresher’ member in pro riders. They run regular road, it was your turn. September, I can honestly say Bath cross-country and downhill club After the session we headed University CC is an extremely ac- rides leaving from campus every back to Bath for a few post ride tive and healthy club, suitable for Wednesday, along with an ever-inpints and a chat about the day’s anyone who would simply enjoy creasing number of weekend trips. events, which is always a good the chance to get out and do some- It is only £20 a year to join, and all way to rest and chill out after an thing different once a week, all the of our trips are heavily subsidised.
Six Nations underway Hockey champs Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter t’s that time of the year again. The time of year when England is hated a little bit more than usual: the Six Nations. If you haven’t heard of the Six Nations I hope the rock you’ve been living under has ample parking outside. It’s pretty self explanatory in the fact that it involves six nations. More specifically, for those who do actually care, it’s a rugby tournament that is fiercely contested by the foremost national rugby teams in the northern hemisphere: England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, France and Italy. Each play each other once and the winner is the one who wins the most games. Huge surprise. This year’s first weekend was the best ever with three titillating games that had viewers glued to their seats. Ireland beat Wales in Cardiff 22-30, with Wales just missing out after a sensational comeback involving passing, running, tackling and try scoring. England took the wind out of the Scottish bagpipes regaining the Calcutta Cup with a 38-18 victory at Twickenham. Undoubtedly however, the most impressive game of the weekend was delivered by the Italians who, against all odds, gave the French a darn good rogering in Rome, repeating their heroics of two years ago. Meaning there was not one smiling, beret-wearing Frenchman to be seen within Rome, or indeed France. The Italian per-
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formance was one worthy of the Coliseum; heart-felt and formidable. Although scrappy in some instances and stupid in others, it was beautiful. Led by the superb Sergio Parise, the greatest Number 8 in the world, the Italians held the French to a 23-18 victory. As brilliant as the Italian performance was, the French per-
stede64 formance was abysmal. They didn’t look bothered. The heroic, impassable Italian defence wore the French down to a fine paste that lacked any sort of ambition whatsoever. When this issue finally comes out, the second weekend of the tournament will have passed and therefore the next part of the article will determine whether or not I have any credibility as a sportswriter at all. England are favourites to win the tournament, no doubt about it. After beating the world champion Kiwis in the autumn they are in good form, a form demonstrated on the opening weekend. With the return of Manu
Tuilangi, the tournament is England’s to lose. Standing in their way is Ireland. They too are looking good, however they did take their foot off the pedal against Wales, allowing for the comeback. They will look to produce a full eighty-minute performance. If they do this, the match in Dublin will be/was a cracker/shocking. I am not psychic. Wales played well in the second half against Ireland, but in the first half it seemed as though they had only just discovered a rugby ball whilst they were mining for pot-noodle. If they can pull themselves together then they have the ability to get their Six Nations back on track. Scotland played well in flashes against England, but in the end were simply outclassed. They will be hoping that their quest for freedom will be simpler against Italy. They did quite well against the Italians in ‘Braveheart’ didn’t they? France didn’t seem to care about winning in Rome, so I am going to adopt the same attitude toward them in this article and not mention them again. Italy are now everyone’s second favourite team if you live outside Italy, or France. All I can say is there has been an increase in Bolognese consumption since their victory. If they continue to play with passion, nothing will be able to stop them. Except an Apache Helicopter. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone, I will go back to normal after England win the Grandslam.
Ben Carless impactsport Reporter
After a splendid nine match undefeated run, Bath University 1st Team took home the BUCS Premier South League Trophy for the first time in their history. The league was sealed with an emphatic 2-1 victory against a much fancied Oxford University team. The Man from Mulheim, Nik ‘Ze German’ Rieger provided the killer blow. After months of preparation, the group, consisting of a diverse selection of international players from all over Europe have worked hard to reach peak physical shape. Chairman Steve Wilkins has not once downed a pint. Captain George Farrant has lead the Bath ‘Rangers’ to amass 29 goals in only 9 games. A strict training routine consisting of early morning weight sessions, therapeutic pilates workouts and intense skill sessions have develop the team into a lean, mean, winning machine. Undeniably, home and away victories against the green and white army of Exeter go down as the season’s highlights. The team move on into the Cup, where they face the opportunity to make history and become the first Bath University side to win the BUCS Championship and
thus the double. In addition, this year our Club Development Officer Jen Huntington has increased the scope of the recreational teams, arranging a full fixture list against local colleges. This means we are able to offer competitive sport to all of our 250 members and thanks to an Alumni Fund bid the club now has a full team worth of shirts and sticks as well as a keeper kit – paired with the fact you don’t need a Sports Pass, our Rec teams are some of the most accessible at the University. Email Jen at jh648@ bath.ac.uk if you are interested in joining the club. This year has also seen the continuation of the club’s Charity Work. Each year the Hockey Club chooses a local charity to support and this year it is SWALLOW a charity that helps those with learning difficulties live independently. Last year the Hockey Club raised £8000 pounds for the Royal National Hospital for Rheumatic Diseases, with 55 members taking to the streets of Bath. This year they have 20 runners taking part in the Bath Half. The club has also shot a Charity Calendar which goes on sale this week – Tim Ming alone makes the purchase worthwhile!
Monday 11th February 2013
bathimpact www.bathimpact.com
makeroadssafe
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are many sports that we could look at: in Rugby both League and Union the home nations are among the world's best teams. Or take Cricket where overall England sits comfortably in the top 4 for all forms of the game. Now don't get me wrong there are players within these sports who have done things that don't make them good role models, with Mike Tindall's drunken escapades in New Zealand and Kevin Pietersen's 'helpful' texts to the South Africans being prime examples. It just seems to me that there are less examples of these players behaving badly and certainly none of the players have kicked children. It may just be the case that these are not reported as widely in the media but somehow I doubt this. Next there is the cost of going to watch a top flight football match. I n all three of the sports the fixtures are far cheaper than Premier League football matches and the entertainment is arguably Ben Sutherland
Simon Rushton impactsport Reporter couple of weeks ago we saw another incident of a football player not being able to behave himself, when Edin Hazard kicked a ball boy in the League Cup semi-final. It is true that the ball boy was at fault by preventing Hazard from getting the ball by lying on the ball to waste valuable seconds. Hazard’s actions are unjustifiable for three reasons: firstly he was a ball BOY and therefore sometimes it can be assumed that he might do infantile things, secondly the referee saw this incident and the time could have been added on, and finally and arguably most importantly as a player for a leading club he is a role model to thousands of children up and down the country. Now please don't think for a minute just because of this one incident that I've lost patience with football, it’s just it's the latest in a series of incidences and I think that as a nation our sporting allegiances should change. Furthermore, and this is the clincher for me, we ("we" being any of the home nations' teams) are not actually that good at football. Times should change and there
Lloy4d
Football: Our national sport?
Watson and Robson at the Olympics and (inset) Eden Hazard better, on the basis that it's near on you there are other individual sports impossible to have a 0-0 draw in any that Britain has had great success of the aforementioned other sports. in: Athletics, Cycling or all boatAlso there is the cost to public ing sports. Also racket sports, with safety to consider, I should mention British Tennis having a very strong here that I do not consider football future with Andy Murray, Laura matches to be dangerous, as there Robson and Heather Watson lookare strict safety measures making ing like they have the potential to the grounds very safe. This is due deliver good results in the future. to the large amount of policing at Now I not saying we should all football games to stop the thugs stop playing football, that's not the that would sooner fight than actu- way forward, just why not tempoally watch the game and the minor- rally remove it as our national sport ity of fans who cannot be trusted to and then test one of the others for sit with the fans of the opposition. a few years and see how it goes? There is not this problem in Rugby Football may be sorely missed and or Cricket, however there is the ob- perhaps I'll have to eat humble pie, vious policing requirement but at a or it could reform and comeback smaller level. stronger and better than ever before If these sports don't appeal to like Top Gear or Take That.
Matthew Powell impactsport Editor impact-sport@bath.ac.uk
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he search for 500 volunteers to help the Special Olympics GB’s ninth national games has begun. The event is held for sportspeople with learning difficulties to participate in and it is being hosted here at the University of Bath from 28th August to 1st September. Held every four years, the Games attract more than 1,700 athletes, and 500 coaches. They provide athletes with the opportunity to socialise with others, and take part in fun sporting events. Organisers are seeking volunteers to ensure that the games run smoothly. Positions for volunteers range from catering or stewarding to photography. Gaye Barber, the volunteer manager for the Games said: “This is a unique sporting event where volunteers play an integral role in the planning, preparation, staging and success of the games.”
Barber hoped that staging the games in Bath would improve opportunities in the south west for people with learning difficulties. She said: “The Olympics and Paralympics are for elite athletes, but there is a pathway from Special Olympics, for intellectually disabled athletes, to the Paralympics. “Our philosophy is about giving self-confidence and self-esteem to people with intellectual disabilities. After having been the base of numerous countries for the Olympic and Paralympic games in London, this again demonstrates the quality of the sporting facilities at the University of Bath. Karen Wallin, Special Olympics GB’s CEO, said: “Volunteers will create a backdrop of energy and enthusiasm to fuel the event from start to finish. “I am sure our 2013 Volunteers will create a spirit and atmosphere that will encourage all of our athletes to compete and achieve their potential and personal best.
DCMS
Volunteers for Special Olympics
Can you emulate the success of the Games Makers of London 2012? “It will be a very special games be heading to these games and I and another opportunity for vol- am thrilled to play a small part in unteers to come together as one supporting this great event.” team with one goal.” If you would like to find out Olympic gold medallist and more about volunteering at the Bath-born athlete Jason Gardener Special Olympics GB National was at the launch in his role as a Summer Games, or you would games ambassador. He said: Be- like to complete the online reging Bath-born, I am delighted to istration, please visit the website support the 2013 national summer for the games, www.bath2013. games being held in the city. org.uk, or you can email the Bath “Nearly 2,000 inspirational Volunteer Help Desk: bathvolunSpecial Olympics GB athletes will teers@sogb.org.uk
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Sport
Powell’s Peeves Blackout Schmlackout My main peeve this week started while watching something called the “Superb Owl” (which was so tantalisingly close to being the fairy story of my entire Sunday night!). How difficult is it to ensure that a “football” match that is being aired in a claimed 108 countries which had 108 million viewers in the home country alone is not interrupted by a power outage? The answer should be “not difficult” rather than the impossible that New Orleans gave us on Sunday night. I feel that this issue is part of a larger problem. The issue of night time sports – I will admit that the Singapore race looks pretty bad ass but they manage to show everybody in England the Japanese Grand Prix and it requires very little electrical lighting! Why do we need to have sports matches at night? There are two acceptable times for a game of Sporting to be played and that is on a Saturday at 3pm local time or on a Wednesday at 7.45pm GMT (or BST depending on the season!). This would also solve Craven Cottage’s lighting problems, though I am assuming that they had their lights go out due to poverty and divine retribution for the MJ statue rather than any technician’s fault. Imagine if every week all Premier League matches were played at the same time. You doing it? Now imagine how much more suspense this would add to Match of the Day that evening? It could show all league goals in chronological order and it would be like the last match of the season every week? How brilliant? Very brilliant! How many power cuts would ensue? Irrelevant! The matches would go ahead. The Wednesday matches are important because otherwise I would get bored mid-week. And seriously who isn’t excited for Man United v Real Madrid in the Champions League? Because if you aren’t excited for that then I’m not sure I can recognise your existence. I understand, of course, that the matches are played at these stupid times because of Rupert Murdoch and this “money” stuff (and in the case of the Superb Owl apparently their clocks are set to different times to ours?) but still I feel that I should come first as a fan and a gentleman. Of course this is part of the larger argument about sponsorship in sport and the hold money has over top class sportsmen. But let’s stop these blackouts first.
impactsport Monday 11th February 2013
Netballers fall bravely Netball, page 24
Inside impactsport Hockey 1st’s win league The Hockey men’s first team win the league for the first time in its history and now aim to go on to further enter the records books by winning the BUCS Championships. Page 26 has the full story
Cycling Club visit velodrome The Bath University Cycling club visited the velodrome in Newport back in semester one. We learn more about this trip and what the club has to offer to students here in Bath. See page 26 for more info
Football: Our national sport? Just an example of some of the tactics used by sports clubs at the University of Bath in order to gain new members
Desperate tactics used by clubs
Ben Cochrane impactsport Reporter very year the parade gets flooded with the vast number of sports societies the university has to offer. They line the strip with a table and dress in appropriate attire for their sport, often causing them to look like a complete prat. Nevertheless, they are there in surprisingly vast numbers, rain or shine, promoting their sport and throwing away any dignity they had. I admire these people for doing it. It shows great confidence and pride in one’s sport to do that; dress like a tit and thrust flyers in the face of an unsuspecting fresher. No doubt I will be one of those people one day, and no doubt I will enjoy it. Look at it this way: the only people that you are really seen by are other sports people and cowering freshers. The other sports people are dressed equally as ridiculously as you and the freshers are too scared to consciously care that you look like a cock. It’s all good; no one cares that you are selling
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yourself for your sport that you care so much about. However does this forward, slightly-too-keen approach work? The people who are definitely going to sign up, regardless of how much advertising you do, are the ones who have played this sport for many years or the ones who have been interested in the sport but have not been around the correct infrastructure to do anything about their interest. This pratting about, the dressing up in a wetsuit in 30 degree heat, the flyer thrusting, the figurative prostitution for your sport is for the oblivious fresher who has no idea about your sport if any sport at all. The unconverted. The naïve little sheep who need guidance into the pen that is metaphorically your sport. You are that metaphorical sheepdog. But do the methods that are used currently use too much metaphorical teeth, or is it just metaphorical barking? If you are following, then I salute you. If not don’t worry; I’m not either. What I’m trying to say
is that is this almost aggressive approach scaring away potential members, or is it harmless? Look at it from the point of view of the fresher. You have left home for the first time. You’ve finished unpacking. You’ve hugged your crying mother and your complaining father, who’s angry about the four hour drive that awaits him, goodbye. You are hung-over from your induction into your flat and you crawl onto Parade at one o’clock after getting up ten minutes ago, washing down some Weetabix with some water because you’ve forgotten to buy some milk and then BANG. You are bombarded by twenty people, all dressed in wetsuits and helmets and frocks and padding and white pyjamas that you saw once when your dad made you watch the original Karate Kid, shoving a bit of card into your face whilst smiling a smile wider than a Cheshire Cat could muster, singing the praises of a sport you may have heard of once at a volume that could contest with the take-off noise of a 747.
Their throbbing, dehydrated brain can’t take it! It still can’t really determine what its owner’s name is, let alone the training times of every one of your six taster sessions. This approach does show that you enjoy your sport and will therefore suggest that any potential members may enjoy it too. Also many people just go with their flatmates in a feeble attempt to make friends and would not necessarily know that a club exists unless a flyer is thrust in their face. Personally I wasn’t put off by the enthusiasm of the sports fair, I enjoyed it. It was great to see so many people that were passionate about their sport. Then again I wasn’t hung-over. But this is the way I look at it: if someone is not willing to give new sports a chance and listen to the thirty-second pitch you have painstakingly created, would they be willing to devote a huge chunk of their time to training? In which case, would you want to have them as part of your club? Food for thought.
impactsport Reporter Simon Rushton examines the argument that football should no longer be the national sport and proposes someother sports that could fill the gap. Turn to page 27 to read the full story
Special Olympics need volunteers The summer games of Special Olympics GB are to be held in Bath and organisers are looking for 500 volunteers to help with the games. Turn to page 27 for more
Get involved If you are interested in sport and want to contribute, then contact bathimpact Sport Editor Matthew Powell (impact-sport@bath. ac.uk) to find out more details about how you can get involved. We’re always looking for writers, photographers, people to take part, or just all round sports buffs to help out. So, if you have a story you want to share, don’t be afraid to get in touch!
Caleb Wheeler-Robinsom
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Monday 11th February 2013
bite
bite Editorial: HMV T
he take over the break’s over! Fall Out Boy are back. Let the angsty emo teenager phase we all experienced at one stage flourish again. Pull out your skinny jeans, straighten your hair and wear a questionably tight jacket and lets hit HMV en masse... Ah, there may be a problem here. The last time Fall Out Boy released an album, the largely underwhelming Folie au Deux, it was 2008 and HMV was king of the high street. Then something complicated happened involving bastards in suits doing what bastards in suits do best and all the world’s money went missing. I’m not too sure, but I think it had something to do with either Iran, North Korea or Iceland. Still, whatever happened, the high street got a nice big dick up its collective ass and HMV’s kidneys got tickled a bit. Truth be told I was quite sad when I heard HMV was going into administration. Certain shops are always going to survive, for example posh white women will always want a nice new dishwasher and because of this John Lewis will never die, but HMV fills no such niche. On top of this there was the issue of that pesky internet making almost everything free and instantly available from the comfort of your own home, and HMV failed to adapt. There were pretty feeble attempts to branch out into a mp3 and streaming service, but it was far too little, far too late. Instead the company tried to expand into more high street areas, expanding its electronics and stereo department, which seems like the literal definition of “if we throw enough shit at the wall them some of it will stick” (and they were right, some of it did stick, but all they were left with was a shit-covered wall and a few humorously shaped iPod decks). Still, despite this
A nibble of bite
clearly fundamental misunderstanding of how marketing works, I am, as previously stated, sad that we will lose HMV. In the same way we all had that embarrassing Fall Out Boy phase, we all must have spent numerous hours wandering through the aisles aimlessly, hoping to find a favourite album with that wonderful “2 for £10” sticker on it. I recall one afternoon in my early teens that was spent walking round the Cardiff store with a girl I had a crush on. We never had any intention of buying anything but we just walked through each section seeing what albums and films we had in common and recommending others. I was literally wingmanned by HMV. On top of simply having so much stock to browse and flirt amongst, the customer service always set HMV apart too. The staff, usually at least, really cared about music and films and were happy to help, chat and recommend new albums or films. They were always people who seemed to actually enjoy what they did; good HMV’s were like a record store with some steroids and a protein shake. The best example of this is the fact that without HMV we might not have The Beatles. In 1962 their manager, Brian Epstine, visited HMV’s flagship store in London (go there if you haven’t, it’s an impressive sight and it might not be around for much longer) to get The Beatles’ 15 song demo transferred from tape to disc. The shop engineer was so impressed with the demo that he called down a music publisher from the top floor of the building who called an executive from Parlophone. This executive happened to be Sir George Martin and the rest is history. Sadly however, this aspect of the business has disappeared in recent years, for example the change in policy that banned employees from having visible
www.bathimpact.com tattoos and piercings. Personally I think this is a bullshit and outdated premise in all forms as life (it’s your body you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, it doesn’t change who you are or how well you can do your job), but in a store that was famous for its employees passion for music, an art form that celebrates tattoos and piercing, it just seemed ridiculous. This culminated last month in the mass firing of 60 loyal HMV employees which, because of their failure to take away control of twitter from the social media guy/gal, ended up being reported live on twitter. If an event sums up HMV’s failure to adapt and declining staff services, it’s that. This leads us nicely on to a brief discussion of our new issue! We refuse to let the same fate await us, so we’re bringing out a host of new features for second semester. Within this issue you will find a brand new creative writing section on pages 10 and 11. If any of you guys are authors, poets, playwrights, artists, illustrators, photographers or just about anything creative, we would love you to contribute. You will also notice that fashion, pages 16 and 17, has had a sexy new revamp with the models, photographers and designers all being current University of Bath Students. Again, if you model, design, photograph or whatever, if it’s fashion related we want you involved. Finally, we’re always pretty big on music (check out pages 12 and 13 for an interview with Frank Turner) so we’re going to be making Spotify playlists to go with every issue of bite. This will include songs from bands in The Guide, any reviews, any interviews, any great film soundtracks and a few select picks from the bathimpact editorial team too! That’s about it from me; hope you all enjoy this week’s bite and maybe even contribute to the next issue! To get involved in bite and hear the playlist for this issue, head over to our facebook group at www.facebook. com/bathimpactbite Or email me at impact-bite@bath.ac.uk
This week’s theme is...
Blog of the week:
Resolutions! Yes I know it’s a cop out but who cares, it’s a good issue. See articles by Holly Narey on page 3, Rowan Emslie on page 4, Helen Edworthy on page 5, Darius Gilani on page 8 and our Agony Aunts and Sex Columnist on page 18 for proof. We also have a host of new features coming out, our New Years Resolution to you. Spotify Playlists featuring the music discussed, a brand new fashion format and creative writing!
http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ Now you wouldn’t imagine that systematically removing Garfield from Garfield comics would be that entertaining, but you would be wrong. Garfield minus Garfield does just that, which serves to document the hilarity that is Jon Arbuckle’s slow descent into madness.
If you do one thing this week...
Things to...
Go and see Frightened Rabbit at the Fleece in Bristol on the 16th February. The band just released their major label debut, Pedestrian Verse, which has been critically lauded for its brand of indie-folk. The brothers from Selkirk have been plying their trade since 2003 and this is not to be missed. Most likely your last chance to catch them in such a small venue.
Watch: The Boondocks. Aaron McGruder’s brilliant animated series that contains possibly the greatest character of all time in Uncle Ruckus. Read: Borges. He literally never wrote a short story more than 10 pages long. There’s no excuse not to! Listen: Kendrick Lamar. Why? “God damn he got bitches” Turn to pages 6 and 7 for an Oscars special!
Best quotes from our heads
bite gets creative
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.” ― Charles Bukowski
Starting from this week we will be including the poetry, short stories, flash fiction, artwork or, well, anything of Bath students. Turn to page 10 and 11 to see the first example of this and if you want to contribute (anything, photography, artwork, prose, poetry, we want it all!) then email impactbite@bath.ac.uk
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake?” ― Ernest Hemingway “Sometimes I get emotional over fonts” - Kanye West (we share your pain Kanye, we do)
New Release:
It’s back, it’s amazing and it’s back and watch it!
Monday 11th February 2013
bite
Lessons in living from Los Angeles
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www.bathimpact.com
written by Holly Narey
Seth MacFarlane will be hosting the 85th Academy Awards on February 24th. Producers are presumably frantically repeating “don’t do a Ricky Gervais” over and over
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nd so we have stumbled our way into a new year. As we stand naked and exposed, teetering on the precipice of our past with the endless plunge into our future ahead of us, we come to depend on the familiarity of tradition and ritual to ease ourselves away from thoughts of the relentless marching of time. So we find ourselves here, windswept and paddling through snow melt, as we cast our eyes across the pond and shiver at the sight of bare arms and scoop-backed dresses. It is a parade of the beautiful and the best, the shining and the successful. Ah, the Oscars. So many people I know talk about it with excitement; if the film you plan to see at the cinema has been shortlisted anyone and everyone will use any opportunity to tell you so with a conspiratorial nod. We may all read the headlines and absorb nomination information through osmosis, but in my experience few of us will watch it, or even really remember when exactly it occurs (February 24th this year). It is only postevent that we enjoy being shocked at the seemingly inverse correlation between dress value and attractiveness (Hilary Swank, 2003, just what?!), and maybe watch snippets of acceptance speeches on YouTube, but only if they are particularly entertaining - preferably drunken and over-emotional. Let’s face it though, if it was me, sat there, dripping in diamonds and drowning in champagne, I would do just that – the drowning in champagne part. I would knock them back in the knowledge that I was possibly moments away from the most convincing encouragement that what I do actually matters, that I’ve done well. You can have all the gold in the world but most people hate to know they’re hated, and love to know they’re loved. The Oscar is the golden ticket of geniality, given to the good guys. You hold that little gold man real tight and run straight home and don’t stop ‘til you get there! To even be in that room and on the list, these guys are
the crème de la crème. Every year the awards are likened to a popularity contest, and if the general public were to vote then perhaps it would end up that way, however they’ve been voted in by a panel of 5,783 of their peers, less likely to be swayed my tabloid headlines about their personal lives and more likely to care if they’ve done a job well or not. If you really are a dick, then people who have worked with dicks are going to know it, and this will count against you, but then again if you’re going to be enough of a dick for that to impact your chances then maybe you don’t damn well deserve an award, didn’t your mother teach you better?! Despite this, it is still a game; if you push too much for the win, like Scorsese with Gangs of New York and feelings of hard-done-by entitlement then you will be pushed away. There doesn’t seem to be a problem with going to the other extreme – in 2010 Mo’Nique refused to run the campaign trail for her nomination for Precious, and even managed to break the golden rule of not bringing up the financial uselessness of it all. She still won. Taking it even further, in the 70’s actor George C. Scott wrote to the Academy to have his name removed from the nominee list for his role in Patton, and although it caused outrage, he still won. Let’s see whether Joaquin Phoenix’s outbursts about the “bullshit” awards work out for him. The people who vote want it to mean something, but are probably aware that it all doesn’t really, which is why these negative comments don’t seem to work against them. Yes, of course there will be politics at play, but when is this not true? A case where politics is rife is, in fact, in politics, where popularity usurps goodness at the top of the agenda – each move is carefully assessed for potential damage. Long term benefits appear to be ignored in favour of current opinion. Take the recent triumph of the gay marriage vote in parliament. It is a great step forward for our country, away from the dark shad-
ows of inequality and injustice, towards a (very, very distant) future of fairness and broad-mindedness. Some were, however, opposed to it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but these opinions must be justified. A look at the Guardian’s collection of quotes from the debates leading up to the vote reveals some shocking thoughts – The conservative MP for Gainsborough, Edward Leigh’s thoughts on the matter were this: ”We should be in the business of protecting cherished institutions and our cultural heritage, otherwise what, I ask, is a Conservative party for? Indeed we are alienating people who have voted for us for all their lives, leaving them with no one to vote for.” Alienating voters becomes a bigger issue than alienating a huge number of those sharing our society, denying them rights because of who they are. Yes, the country has had a huge triumph in passing the bill, but many of the current government were more worried about the effect the bill would have on the ballot boxes rather than on the lives of the people it was aiming to help. I’m not saying this as a direct attack at the Tories, although anybody who knows me will know I am not a fan, I believe this would be the same no matter who is leading the country, my point is that perhaps we have strayed from the path of making progress because it is right, and rather doing the things that will give us the most tangible validation. Being successful on election day is a far more real-seeming victory than the seemingly tiny, scattered benefits that will befall those who have just gained the right to marry. So maybe a fitting resolution for the New Year would be to focus on doing things because they are right, even if they are hard, rather than because they are more likely to lead to us having a little golden man clutched in our hands. Although that all sounds very difficult. Maybe I’ll just give up chocolate or some shit.
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Monday 11th February 2013
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Modern Notes: Punishment www.bathimpact.com
omething about A New Year makes people want to be cruel to themselves. It’s January again so they set themselves trials presumably in anticipation of mistakenly writing the wrong date for the first three months of the year. No alcohol for a month, a new diet and fitness regime, no more sleeping around, learning how to cook - all not-so-strictly adhered to until you can remember to write ‘2013’ without first crossing out ‘2012’ and falling into a pit of self-loathing at your inadequacies. Of course, it is possible that this ritualised societal push for inner turmoil is about more than training people to remember what year it is. The ‘tortured genius’ is one of those stereotypes that exists because such individuals crop up so often it is actually difficult to ignore the trend. Van Gogh, Richard Pryor, Kurt Cobain, Sylvia Plath - the list goes on and on. This isn’t just for sexy, punk, outsider artists who burn out before the fade away either; enter a Finnish composer named Jean Sibelius who lived a full life, dying at the age of ninety-two in 1957. He was unusually adored by both the competing modernist and traditional schools of classical music and has been adopted as something of a national symbol of the Scandinavian country he lived in for most of his life. There are stories of some of the great names of twentieth century composition making long pilgrimages to Sibelius’s remote, rural home, Ainola, situated on the edge of picturesque Lake Tuusula. They would make their way to Helsinki and northwards to the composer. Often on arrival they would be greeted by his wife and six daughters who would greet them warmly. After a meal and some refreshments they would ask to see the great man only to be refused. He was sensitive, working hard and wasn’t prepared to be disturbed. Perhaps, then, they would wash to freshen up from the long journey? They would have to do this in the yard by the well or else, if the weather was warm, by the lake. Ainola never had water pipes installed lest they disturbed Sibelius. He was famous for long periods of despondency, particularly in winter months, and went years without producing any major work. In the latter years of his career, his reputation having been firmly established worldwide for decades, he suffered a pique of self-doubt and undertook a ‘great burning’ outside Ainola which consumed countless musical manuscripts. Apparently it made him feel much more relaxed. After, he barely completed another work, becoming more and more reclusive as he became ever more famous. His symphonies remain amongst the best loved works of the twentieth century - romantic and experimental at the same time, utterly listenable and never forgettable, it is composition at its finest. But, by all accounts, he doesn’t sound like he’d be on my ‘Dream Dinner Party’ guest list. If, like me, you are somewhat derisive of your friends’ attempts to better themselves as we accelerate away from Janus’s second face maybe it is time to rethink. Sure, I assume that the claims to be getting fit and being happier are simple delusions. And, yes, I also will generally be a terrible influence on any resolution: “Why make yourself unhappy to fill some arbitrary ‘no drinks’ deadline you’ve set yourself? In a way, struggling to a one month deadline before resuming your binge drinking (with me) is less healthy than just carrying on drinking. I mean, what are you trying to prove? That not drinking is a punishment you can set yourself? Bit alcoholic. It’s your round.” Asides from the obvious self-interest and laziness of my disregard of resolutions, I think I might be missing the point. Making yourself suffer a little can be beneficial. It promotes humility, self-reflection and, just possibly, personal growth.You probably don’t have to go as far as eschewing internal plumbing - unless you want to become a Finnish national hero (who doesn’t?) - but humiliating yourself with the intransigent New Year crowd at the gym for a couple of weeks might be worth it. It’ll at least be amusing for people who actually go to the gym, even in the summer, who, I’m sure, don’t find the Resolutioners© invasive to their past-time at all. Right? Whatever. I’ve decided that my resolution will be to stop judging people for their own resolutions. Which is liable to create a lot of built up bile in me. As luck would have it, a little Sibelius is just about the best remedy for this affliction that I know of.
owly9
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written by Rowan Emslie
Miserable Finnish men who live alone next to remote lakes end up getting cast in bronze ... apparently
Monday 11th February 2013
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5
Baby steps guys, baby steps mags20_eb
www.bathimpact.com
You want it? You know you want it. Why do you deny yourself this lovely thing? Go on... go on...
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written by Helen Edworthy
ew Years’ Resolutions are an interesting phenomenon – people make them every year, and they’re usually along the same lines as the ones they’ll have made the year before, or the ones they’ll make the next year. At this beginning of 2013, two of the most popular resolutions made were ‘saving money’ and ‘getting out of debt’, with ‘giving up chocolate’ and ‘moving house’ also being among the most popular. Good intentions, yes – but who really wants to give up chocolate? Completely quitting something is as bad as doing it far too much (unless it’s some kind of illegal or unusually cruel hobby… like stapling ducks to trees). Saving money and getting out debt are good things to aim to do, however – the question is, is a day on which you’ll most likely wake up hungover and in some form of compromising situation really the best day to decide to start doing it? I’d argue not – and not just because I’m a deeply cynical human being who naturally assumes failure anyway (oh, okay – it is because of that). But, we at bite don’t like to be serious. As such, instead of providing a balanced discussion of why you should or shouldn’t make resolutions, I am just going to take some of the most popular ones and tell you why you are wrong for trying. No. 1: ‘Save More Money’. What’s this for? Do you need more things? If you’re like me (joke’s on you) then you probably want more money so you can buy more things you don’t need. But you’re not me, so you probably just want to spend it on booze. Don’t do that. You’re not as funny as you think you are when you’re drunk. (No, really. Ask anyone. We’ve all been talking about you.) Still you’re going to not spend money so you can save money so that one day you can spend money on something you don’t really want or need because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Perhaps a better resolution would be, figure out what you’re going to spend your money on. No. 2: ‘Get out of debt’. You only have yourself to blame for buying all those vintage pokemon cards, so I have no sympathy for you. Go and sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done. Come back when you’ve properly thought about why you decided going into overdraft just to buy those fabergé Obama effigies was a good idea. You are doomed to be in debt forever; deal with it. Maybe your resolution should be to only get into debt for things that are worth getting into debt for. No. 3: ‘Give up Chocolate’. Ha, yeah. Good one. Next! No. 4: ‘Spend more time with family/friends’. Not to make you feel bad or anything, but your friends all left you after you started hoarding cats. Still the fact that you’ve got to the stage of promising yourself that you’ll spend more time with your friends means that maybe you could just find new friends? Maybe they’re a douche, maybe you’re the douche or maybe you’re just incompatible. Either way you’re at university goddamn it, meet some new people. No. 5: ‘Procrastinate less’. Let’s be honest here; everybody procrastinates from time to time. If you’re like me (you poor devil) then you procrastinate from the moment you have something you actually need to do up until the point where the deadline for it has passed. As such, if you’re going to waste your own time, at least be productive about it. For example, you could read some books you’ve always wanted to read (no; not all those Naruto manga volumes you have, they don’t count). Or you could organise every single file you have on your computer into thousand upon thousands of subfolders. Maybe you could also take up something calming, like yoga. Or smoking. No. 6: ‘Quit smoking’. Oh, whoops. As you can see, new years’ resolutions are difficult to start, and even more difficult to stick with. Trying is really far more effort than people give it credit for – it takes someone normal and well-adjusted to be able to adapt to change properly, much less attempt it within themselves. At least you’re trying to be better which is basically all you can ask for isn’t it? Still, instead of trying to make a thousand different changes at once with no room for compromise, how about trying one thing at once, and seeing how it goes? If you want change, it’s best to not stress yourself out with it. It doesn’t have to be a change from an old life to a new one, like so many people make it out to be. Maybe just start by selling those pokemon cards?
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Monday 11th February 2013
bite
On slavery: Tarantino or Spielberg
www.bathimpact.com
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written by Benjamin Butcher
jango Unchained and Lincoln will undoubtedly be two of the biggest films of the year. Their plots are both dominated by slavery and early American history. Both Lincoln and Django Unchained have stellar casts (led by Daniel Day-Lewis and Jamie Foxx respectively), both will sweep in the Academy Awards, and both mark huge career moves for their directors Spielberg and Tarantino, but one thing you can’t help wondering having watched the films is; which deals with the slave trade in the best way? Django Unchained is a Spaghetti Western which tells the story of a slave turned bounty hunter who longingly searches for his wife all across the Deep South. The film has all the staples of a classic Quentin Tarrantino movie; copious amounts of gore, plenty of foul language and a kick-ass soundtrack. Lincoln, on the other hand, is a more restrained affair. A biopic of the USA’s abolitionist president, the film takes you from the Civil War through to his death. Lincoln deals with slavery in much the same way it would have been dealt with at the time. The issue was not over whether or not slaves were human beings, but rather whether or not they were property. Abraham Lincoln’s famous proposition, that ‘all men are created equal’, may well have been his point of view, but as many scenes allude to in the film, it was a far from universal belief. Rather than giving viewers a frontline look into the atrocities of slavery, the film highlights the insanity of slavery through monologues and speeches made by Lincoln and Congress alike. In Lincoln, slavery comes across as little more than a legislative dispute in the context of the 13th Amendment rather than as a practice that required a complete overhaul of social values to counter. Django Unchained however moves the viewers from the periphery of the problem to the brutal realities that existed south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Not for the faint hearted, Tarantino treats us to slaves being mauled, whipped, burnt, and eye-gouged. The film pulls no punches and is so grotesque that, quite honestly, I thought that much of the violence was the consequence of Tarantino’s vivid imagination (remember when Eli Roth killed Hitler in Inglorious Basterds?). The ‘Mandingo’ fighting, whereby two black slaves fight to the death for the casual delight of their owners, is the most shocking scene of the film and was, unfortunately, based on truth. Tarantino does indeed take a certain amount of creative licence in realizing the exploitative nature of the slave-owner relationship but the fundamental truths that underlie it are challenging. The dialogue may be less intellectual (but far more exciting!) than Lincoln and require considerably less concentration (I was actually incredibly hung-over when I watched both of them) but what we see in Django Unchained achieves far more than what we hear in Lincoln. The violence and language is an aspect of Django that has received a particularly large amount of criticism. In the postNewtown climate which briefly hindered the States’ addiction to violence, Django was slated by the press for ‘excessive’ violence and ‘glorifying’ murder. Leading African American director Spike Lee called it ‘disrespectful’ and said that slavery was ‘not a Sergei Leone Spaghetti Western’ but rather ‘a Holocaust.’ Despite this, it is very clear that Tarantino is merely mixing an issue he clearly cares about deeply (Jackie Brown demonstrated how much civil rights mean to him) with the superficial pleasures we have come to love (or hate) in his films. Django acts as one of the most humanising takes on slavery in mainstream cinema in a long time. Lincoln, portrayed with godliness by Daniel Day-Lewis, may tackle the politics of abolition with intense accuracy but the idea that the 13th Amendment was just the right medicine is lunacy. The film portrays slavery and its abolition as little more than policy and debate, but Django creates an image of a white society with a façade of civility, undermined by the horrific moral scar that is slavery. Using the word ‘nigger’ and showing branding/whipping/ executions to a cinema audience may never seem necessary, but Django showed just how powerful it can be. Many may disagree, but to Tarantino blood-lust is as much an art as it is a fetish. Lincoln will sweep the Oscars and I’m not even suggesting it shouldn’t, but with Django you receive a much more honest, more entertaining and, some would argue, more educational film.
Is Samuel L. Jackson, as Steven, the most hard-hitting and accurate portrayal of slavery this Oscar season?
Monday 11th February 2013
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Review: Django Unchained & Lincoln www.bathimpact.com
written by Ron Morrow
Tarantino is back, and it’s with characters as interesting as Reservoir Dogs, violence as brutal and insane as Kill Bill, but set in a more defined structure like Inglorious Basterds. He’s brought the best of his bag of tricks and come up with a film that is certainly one of his finest so far. Spearheading an all-round stellar cast is Jamie Foxx as the titular Django; a slave befriended, and subsequently freed, by a German bounty hunter by the name of Dr Schultz, played by an incredible Christoph Waltz. Together they form a duo deadly in the American south, ready to take on Monsieur Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his associates of “Candyland” in an attempt to reclaim Django’s wife. The acting is top notch and shouldn’t be knocked just because it’s in a less serious environment. All of the characters are richly interesting, with Samuel L. Jackson’s portrayal of Stephen, the elderly, traitorous slave, acting as the icing on the cake. While technically being a “southern” and not of the “western” genre, you’d be forgiven for making this assumption. And while Tarantino’s style might not instantly seem the most fitting, the madness of the time period and general lack of societal rules means his plot is free to run wild. The use of music is still eclectic and hard hitting, but it manages to hit the tone perfectly. Nothing has been lost here by the inclusion of some original songs, sitting nicely alongside the usual contemporary and referential choices. Now while Django’s ‘D’ may be silent, the N-word most certainly is not. Make no mistakes, this is 2 and ¾ hours of no holds barred offensive slurs, put downs and gory violence, but I’ll be damned if that stops it from being thrilling, hilarious, and thoroughly entertaining. 9/10
It’s rare that a film comes along that has so many incredible examples of acting all packed into one. Not a single person lets up or drops a performance in this biopic of America’s 16th president. Set during Lincoln’s second term it sees the giant of a man grappling with his most famous of issues, the abolition of slavery. Daniel Day-Lewis’s portrayal of Abraham would be stunning on its own, but when coupled with Spielberg’s very personal account of those involved it becomes something far greater. Showing him at the centre of a web of different relationships means we are able to see the many different faces of Lincoln. We see his family side as he deals with his emotionally crippled, yet socially fronted wife (Sally Field) and his beloved, yet distant, son (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who wishes to do his duty despite his father’s concerns. But we also get to see the side the history books are more used to as he takes on his methodically opposed, yet compassionate equal Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones), as well as the face he has to put on for the public and it all ties together brilliantly. While my knowledge of American history is poor enough to be unable to fact check the film’s accuracy I’m still sold, with the film coming across more like a dramatized documentary than a piece of entertainment. Hence it feels somewhat slow throughout, and if you’re not ready for 150 minutes of talking then this isn’t the film for you. Yet to give credit to Spielberg, there’s few who could make a voting roll call as interesting and suspenseful as he managed to. Lincoln is about as Oscar baiting as they come but it’s deservingly so. The acting is top notch and it delivers its story in a way far more preferable to any history lesson I ever received in school. 8/10
Preview: The Academy Awards 2013 written by Laurence Simpson
It’s that time of year again when the Hollywood elite gather to celebrate their greatest cinematic achievements, and with few easy picks for the Oscar this year in any one category there is no doubt that the 85th Academy Awards will be as hotly contested as any of the 84 that have preceded them. If any one film does dominate this year’s Oscars’ then it will almost certainly be Stephen Spielberg’s ‘Lincoln’. Charting the final days of the U.S President whilst he fights to pass the bill to abolish slavery, Lincoln fits the bill for a typical Oscar winner due to its subject matter alone. At the heart of the piece is the commanding presence of Daniel Day-Lewis. The British actor once again delivers a masterful performance that only serves to increase the claims that he is the greatest of his generation. Sally Field’s performance as Lincoln’s wife is a strong contender in the Best Supporting Actress category and Spielberg himself will have his fingers crossed for his third Best Director Oscar, previously winning for Schindler’s List (1994) and Saving Private Ryan (1999). Perhaps surprisingly, Lincoln’s closest rival for the Best Picture Oscar is Ben Affleck’s ‘Argo’. Set to the backdrop of the Iranian revolution in 1979, Argo tells the story of a CIA attempt to rescue stranded American diplomats, hiding in the Canadian embassy by using a fake cover story of filming a Science-Fiction movie in Iran. Perhaps the most remarkable fact about Argo is just how close it is to the real events it portrays. The film has already scooped a Critics’ Choice award and a Golden Globe ahead of Lincoln, but Affleck has not been nominated for Best Director and in the 85 year history of the Academy Awards only three films have won Best Picture without a Best Director nomination, the last of which was ‘Driving Miss Daisy’ in 1989. ‘Les Misérables’ certainly should not be discounted for Best Picture but its best shot at an Oscar has to be Best Supporting Actress after Anne Hathaway’s spellbinding performance. Hugh Jackman’s Jean Valjean is probably the only contender to rival Day-Lewis for the Best Actor in a Leading Role. ‘Life of Pi’ will probably have to settle for just a nomination for Best Film but should collect the Oscar for Best Visual Effects. Best Leading Actress will probably come down to Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty and Naomi Watts for ‘The Impossible’. The wonderful ‘Searching for Sugar Man’ should collect Best Documentary Feature and there is British interest in Best Animated Feature Film for ‘The Pirates! Band of Misfits’ and Adele is nominated for Best Original Song for ‘Skyfall’ (a film unjustifiably not nominated for Best Film).
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Monday 11th February 2013
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Grow up and put on a cartoon www.bathimpact.com
written by Darius Gilani
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et’s do a test here - How many people slate reality TV? And how many of those same people actually watch it? The latest big reality show is Splash, and despite Tom Daley’s best intentions it is terrible television. The celebrities taking part are taking a dive in every way imaginable. And who can blame them, given the millions of people who watch these shows? Reality TV shows either have a ridiculously long life or mutate into new and more sinister brethren (Pop Idol/X Factor), even when we know that they are dreadful. My resolution is not to watch reality TV anymore. Instead I’m going to turn to cartoons, and would like to explain why you should too. There’s a popular myth that adults shouldn’t watch most cartoons as they are made for children. We had our shot at enjoying Goof Troop, Rescue Rangers and Darkwing Duck. Twenty-somethings are entitled to watch The Simpsons, Futurama, Adult Swim, South Park and the Seth McFarlane miscellany with friends and family due to their adult content. Now we have to “accidentally” flick on to Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon in polite company. However, the best cartoons have always known how to conceal sly, cheeky and adult jokes so that older viewers could enjoy a chuckle without confusing or upsetting younger audiences. Rewatch episodes of Dangermouse and you’ll be surprised at the wit of some of David Jason’s lines. Nowadays, Frederator Studios is undoubtedly the master of releasing shows that achieve this. Their current fare includes cult favourites such as Adventure Time, Fairly Odd Parents and Bravest Warriors (that last one’s a bit more mature). Cartoon Hangover is even uploading Bravest Warriors and loads of new stuff on their YouTube channel to be watched legally and for free so give them a try. The jokes fly fast, furious and with a hit-miss ratio comedians would envy.
Here’s another myth: cartoons and their characters aren’t written as intelligently as conventional programmes. They are supposedly different beasts because the plots have to be simplified to fit into 10-20 minutes. But watch the old Hanna-Barbera shows such as Top Cat, The Flintstones, The Jetsons and Scooby-Doo. They are so similarly structured to the live-action sitcoms of their eras that you’d be hard pressed to tell the difference between the scripts without looking at the screen (except for the naughty language). They rely far more on the interactions between characters than on them being homeless cats, the modern stone-age family or a bunch of jobless hippies with a penchant for solving mysteries. Of course, legendary shows such as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers are a quick reminder that this doesn’t apply to all cartoons. But don’t underestimate the creators of animated shows and the wit and structure they inject into their tales. Watching the cast of Jersey or Geordie Shore in action is downright horrific at times. Yet Johnny Bravo was failing at chatting up the ladies and striking flamboyant poses fifteen years before that, and it was funny. This marks an interesting twist - the characters in reality TV seem remarkably fictional and unbelievable because they are so extreme and at times lacking humble sensibility. They are not reality. In contrast, the writers, directors, voice actors and animators of cartoons often know how to make their characters seem so human in the face of sheer craziness. Adventure Time and Gravity Falls get this balance right. Big Brother doesn’t. Of course, the extreme moments in cartoons can also be downright hilarious. There’s a moment in the first episode of Gravity Falls where a gnome is punched so hard he vomits rainbows. Later in the series a character has a fluorescent sugar trip on sherbert dip. Rocko’s Modern Life and Invader Zim were lovable because they were insane. Roadrunner was fun because
of the mad-cap creations and ridiculous failures of Wile E. Coyote. In comparison, laughing at the real-life extreme performances of Jedward, Rylan or Wagner on X-Factor seems awkward and a bit insensitive. Revelling in the tears of a real person pushed to their limits on television brings images of a certain Eric Cartman to mind. Reality TV doesn’t do extreme in a comfortable way, but continues to push it further to sustain interest. Maybe the lasting appeal of cartoons to this 25 year old is that there is some sense of purpose and karma (things turn out well for good people) to them. Of course, some animated shows can be a bit sickly sweet sometimes, as was the case of childhood cartoons such as The Raccoons and Moomins. But flip over to some “celebrity” reality TV shows featuring Kardashians, Jersey Shore, The Hills and Paris Hilton. They are paying excessive amounts of money to broadcast people who are mostly spending excessive amounts of money on being obnoxious. The sad irony is that on MTV where these tend to be shown there’s often an ad break asking viewers to donate £2 to a charity organization lacking funds. Of course, some reality TV programmes do contribute to charity. But not all of them do. Heck, even Scrooge MacDuck occasionally did nice things. Enough whinging: You get the point. Cartoons are good for the mind, sense of the humour and soul. Give them another go before flicking over to TOWIE. So that was a rundown of some of bite’s favourites. Give them a try for curiosity or warm nostalgia, and if you’re not entertained then by all means stick to reality TV. Leave the cartoon fans in peace and quiet and we’ll return the favour. However, if you make a snide remark about cartoons and you’re tuned into “Sort-of celebrity fatties on camera eating live animals, slipping on ice and being d*cks for a fortune”, try and remember who’s watching the unintelligible nonsense.
Monday 11th February 2013
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The Guide
Music
Film
Arts
nrk p3
www.bathimpact.com
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Listen to The Guide on 1449AM URB on Monday’s at 6pm for more information on local events, such as Alex Gaskarth and All Time Low bringing pop-punk to Bristol
All Time Low, Tuesday 12th February at O2 Academy, Bristol. Tickets: £21
Quartet, from Tuesday 12th February at Little Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £5.50
Dance Double Bill, Saturday 16th February at The ICIA Arts Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £7
Baltimore’s finest bring their brand of New Found Glory, Fall Out Boy and Blink 182 influenced pop-punk to Bristol in support of their new album, Don’t Panic. Sporting sing along hits such as Dear Maria Count Me In, Coffee Shop Soundtrack and Dammed If I Do Ya (Dammed If I Don’t), this promises to be an energetic night full of crunching guitars and power chords.
Scripted by Ronald Harwood from his 1999 play, and marking Hoffman’s agreeably assured directorial debut, Quartet radiates much of the gentle drama and grown-up good humour of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, with especially nice turns from Billy Connolly as an ageing roué and the always brilliant Maggie Smith.
Theo Clinkard’s rousing new group work for six dancers and live piano brims with visceral and eloquent physicality. Ordinary Courage follows a community in repair and harnesses the capacity for movement and touch to communicate when words are not enough. Dan Canham ‘s 30 Cecil Street is an eloquent, heartbreaking elegy for a lost and ruined theatre. A performance made from fragments of memories, of wild nights and long disappeared communities, it evokes the life of a once the mighty building and asks what is left when a theatre closes its doors to the public?
Frightened Rabbit, Saturday 16th February at The Fleece, Bristol. Tickets: £12.50 Frightened Rabbit, the soulful indie boys from Scotland have just realised their major label debut, Pedestrian Verse, which has been critically lauded for its brand of indie-folk. The brothers from Selkirk have been plying their trade since 2003 and this is not to be missed. Most likely your last chance to catch them in such a small venue as new single The Woodpile has been gaining them a rather large amount of support on Radio One. Delphic, Wednesday 20th February at Komedia, Bath. Tickets: £7 Electro-rock/alternative dance outfit Delphic released their second album Collections after a successful 2012 which saw their single Good Life being chosen as one of Zane Lowe’s hottest records in the world and as one of the official singles of The Olympics.
Hyde Park on Hudson, from Monday 11th February at Little Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £5.50 Chronicling a pivotal historical moment, Hyde Park on Hudson, boasts a stellar Anglo-American cast led by the great Bill Murray as a sickly Franklin D. Roosevelt. King George VI (Samuel West) and the young Queen Elizabeth (Olivia Colman) visit the President to try to persuade him to bring America into World War Two. This wryly amusing film also examines FDR’s relationship with his tricky wife and his nascent romance with his cousin Margaret Suckley. No, from Monday 11th February at Little Theatre, Bath. Tickets: £5.50 Distinctively shot on old-fashioned three-strip video to evoke television reportage of the time, No explores the final days of the Pinochet regime through the eyes of two competing television companies canvassing for the ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ campaigns respectively in the crucial referendum that toppled the dictator.
Exhibtion: Matthew Houlding, Under the Black Sun of Joy, Friday 22nd February at ICIA Arts Space 1 & 2, Bath. Tickets: FREE, but please register Matthew Houlding embraces the idea of Artist as Craftsman, dedicated to the synthesis of sculpture, architecture and painting and a belief that art is capable of offering new ideas and solutions in the pursuit of a brighter future. The Affordable Arts Fair, Tuesday 19th February at The Arts Cafe, Komedia, Bath. Tickets: FREE Komedia’s monthly arts fair showcases a wide variety of art from the best artists working in the UK today. All pieces will be affordably priced with Artists showcasing a range of prints and some original Photographs, Graphic Designs, Illustrations and Paintings.
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Monday 11th February 2013
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Flash Fiction: A Nice Little Circle
www.bathimpact.com
written by Anonymous
Did you feel panicked at first?
Right now you’re doing nothing and you feel powerless, like it’s gone on too long and there’s no point doing anything to try and stop it. You’d just be swimming against the tide, or trying to walk upstream, or think of a fucking image that isn’t a cliché you half arsed ball of wank. You’re even failing at this. Why are you even trying to be Hemingway anyway, you’re not painting a pretty little picture you’re documenting the pathetic thing that you’ve become. It’d be like climbing a wall of dicks, happy now? Good, so move the fuck on and get to the point before you give up at this too. You’re feeling powerless, but why? You spent the last hour wondering what the fuck you’re going to do with your future when you fail these exams and have to drop out with a shit tonne of debt and no degree to show for it in an economy in which even people with a fucking physics masters can’t… breathe. Use your punctuation. This is the powerlessness, but what kickstarted it? It’s been three days and you’ve only crept out of your room when it doesn’t really sound like anyone is downstairs and only eaten about one meal a day. You’ve scarcely had any sleep, although you’ve barely left the bed, and you seem to be constantly staring at books. Just staring. When did it become so difficult to read? You’d think with this strict regime you’d have actually learned something, but when was the last time you actually understood what you just read about? When did you become so fucking dense? This was what you were supposed to good at. You could learn things and you could learn them pretty well. That was your thing. Other people could lift things, or run fast, or talk to people, or be able to drink copious amounts of alcohol and actually enjoy spending nights in a crowded, dark room full of awful music, awful people and awful amounts of regret. You could read things and understand them and turn them into good ideas and grades. You hated that it was your thing most of the time (gave that bitch a 71.4% average, bitches love 71.4% averages), but at least it was a fucking thing. When did you get so god damn useless? Is this why you’re still doing nothing? Or did you do nothing first? Maybe you were doing nothing for a bit, just a tiny bit on a bad day and that made you feel guilty.
You watched an episode of some shitty sitcom you barely enjoy and then maybe you watched another and eventually it was the afternoon and you’d wasted the entire morning. You’d wasted the entire morning doing absolutely nothing. Do you know what some people get done by the time you’ve dragged your worthless self out of bed? If you were going to waste it you could have at least done something productive. Watched a documentary, or practiced piano or, Jesus, read a fucking book, for once in your life. Then you just sat there feeling guilty. Guilty about your parents for covering the gap in your maintenance loan. Guilty about the people who paid their taxes so that you could even get a maintenance loan. Guilty about every kid who wanted a place here but didn’t get in only for you to sit in your bed and do nothing. Guilty that there are people who are dying everywhere and you’re not making any attempt to even improve yourself, let alone improve anything else. What’s the point of you even being here? You’re basically just stealing oxygen. Drop out and save everyone some trouble. Then the panic set in, because you’re not brave enough to drop out. We all know that. So what are you going to do? I mean you’re not going to do well in these exams and as you’ve been told every 6 months for the last 6 years, if you fuck up then wave goodbye to your future. Every 6 months since you were about fifteen. Every 6 months someone new is giving you a lecture about how important these are, how much people expect from you and what you’ll have to do if you don’t meet these wonderful expectations. “Don’t think they’re pointless, people will look at your SAT scores”. “Did you know your GCSE’s will determine your entire future?” “You’re going to have to get at least 3A’s to get into a good university”. “A 2:1 from a respectable institution is rarely good enough anymore, companies are looking for something exceptional!” “Did you know that if you don’t get perfect marks in every exam from age 15 until your death you’ll constantly be searching for some person or institution to validate your existence in a world you mostly despise and it’ll ultimately just leave you feeling unfulfilled?” Oh, wait. How do other people do it? How can they not hate memorising a fact that in a few months
will be replaced by another fact that will also soon be forgotten? The person that discovered the original fact was probably a fucking genius. They could have worked their entire life to discover that fact. They could have died in the pursuit of the fact. That person is probably so much smarter than you or I, and yet we discard it as soon as we can. How do other people just accept that process? Accept that process and then accept that you then wake up one day and you’ve learnt and forgotten enough facts that you get a degree. Then you demonstrate to what is most likely to be an arrogant middle class white man that you’ve learnt these facts and promptly forgotten them and he offers you a job where you use a few of these facts over and over again for the rest of your life. Other people seem okay with this. Like, properly okay. Not “false conscious let’s free the masses from the chains of capitalist oppression and bring down the system wearing masks we bought from a giant corporation” okay, but properly okay. Maybe even happy. Happy to wake up at 6am and get on a crowded bus full of loud, arrogant fucks to go through an exercise in pointlessness and then go home, go to sleep and do it again. Just, the fuck man? How are they happy? You know you shouldn’t and it only serves to create even more self-loathing, but you fucking hate that they’re happy. How are they okay with this? And “this” is something that you signed up for. “This” was a choice. High school sucks, it’s supposed to suck. Hundreds and thousands of people make careers in films, TV shows, books, albums and drug habits to document the fact that high school sucks. But you chose this, you are literally doing exactly what you thought you wanted to do and up until this point you were doing it well, and yet you’re still just… this. This little ball of angst and anxiety, curled up in a quilt, wearing a hoodie that you refuse to wash because it still smells of someone who once made you happy whilst listening to Titus Andronicus (“You will always be a loser”). Isn’t this basically what you were doing five years ago? Is this literally what you are? What you will be? Telling yourself that tonight is the last night. That after a shower and a shave and a good night’s sleep you’ll be better. You’ll wake up at the first alarm and go to the lecture even though you can’t really see how it will help you in any real sense. Then you’ll do your work when it’s given to you, go for a jog and eat three square meals a day. You’ll watch some shit television and go to bed at a normal time rather than listen to sad folk songs for a new world order and hope you pass out at some time before 4am. How many times have you said that lately? How many times has it worked? How many more times will you say it? Maybe everyone says it each night. Maybe everyone feels like this, although that’s even worse when you think about it. We’re all just really fucking miserable all the time and none of us say anything or change anything or take a cocktail of class A’s and throw a brick through a window.
Is this literally all there is? Fucking great. Now you’re shaking and it feels like your high school football team is sitting on your chest while they take in turns to list all the embarrassing things you’ve done since you were twelve. Perfect. That’s just what we need right now. Just stay in bed.
Monday 11th February 2013
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Selected Poems by Déjà Entendu www.bathimpact.com
Druggles
Red Velvet
Hold me ‘til the class As wear off,
In my favourite woollen scarf,
Talk until we fall.
And matching worn out gloves,
Kiss me as the sun comes up,
I’d never had red velvet cake,
Isn’t life a ball?
I’d never been in love.
I’ll watch you stare at our hands,
Sun on a window,
As our fingers intertwine.
In a place that was new.
We’ll feel the rhythm we both can’t hear
Sitting sipping coffee,
As you hand me the bottle of wine.
Sitting with you.
We are the young, we are the brave.
The road was unfamiliar,
The cowards getting old.
But the people polite.
The ones who couldn’t quite believe
The coffee cups were blue,
The stories they were told.
And the chairs were white.
We armed ourselves in arrogance,
I tried not to look up,
In knowledge we thought we could understand.
I tried to sip slow,
We kissed until the sun came up,
Speaking just to sound calm,
We danced without a band.
‘Don’t let your feelings show’. I’m not sure, looking back, If I could call it love, But I know I like red velvet, And I still have holes in my gloves.
Artwork by Charm Duggan
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Monday 11th February 2013
bite
bite meets...
tara novak
www.bathimpact.com
W
e’re sitting inside a small changing room in the Bath Pavilion and it’s safe to say I’m rather nervous. It’s about 6pm, so doors haven’t opened yet but a rather sizeable crowd has already gathered outside who pretty closely resemble the man I’m about to interview. In dark jeans and a hoodie, Frank Turner doesn’t look quite the same as the man who a few months previously had started the Olympics Opening Ceremony. The Bath Pavilion is pretty much as far away from the Olympic Stadium as you could hope to get, but that’s kind of the point of this tour: “It’s been eighteen dates and we’ve been to a lot of places that we haven’t been to in a while and a few that we’ve never been to before. That was the idea of this tour was to get out to a few of those places that we’ve missed out as I’ve done quite a few of those short UK tours where you just basically do Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, London and maybe Bristol and then calling it a UK tour, and we wanted to do a proper one.” Another interesting thing about this tour was the uncertainty of the set lists. Not only were a few new songs that were still to be released played by Frank and the Sleeping Souls, but also a few rarer classics such as Casanova Lament and To Take You Home: “Writing a set list is an art form in itself I think and you’re never going to please everybody. For example I know that there are a lot of people who’d love me just to play a few things off the first two records but then at the same time there’s a lot of people who don’t know those records and you’ve got to do your best to get a balance and make everybody happy. But yeah, we’ve definitely been trying to dig out some oldies.” This current tour is part of the transition from the album that broke Frank into the public eye, England Keep My Bones, to the soon to be released Tape Deck Heart (22nd April on Xtra Mile
Records), which was recorded in Burbank last Autumn, the first time Frank had recorded an album outside the UK: “The fact the studio was in America was actually a bit of a stumbling block for me and it took some time before I was convinced it was a good idea. First of all because the music I make is self-consciously English and then it’s also such a cliché you know? British band goes to California and starts to become rubbish or turns American and we really didn’t want to do that. But I had the opportunity to work with this guy called Rich Costey [Muse, Nine Inch Nails, The Shins) who’s an amazing producer and he ain’t cheap either [laughs]. This is the first time I’ve had the resources to work with someone like that and he works in California so we went out to him. It was an amazing experience and the whole thing of it being in America didn’t really matter at all because when you’re there you’re in the studio for 15 hours a day not seeing sunlight so it’s not like the change is really going to affect the recording process”. Two songs from the album have been released so far, the punk infused Four Simple Words and the more soulful Cowboy Chords, but many other songs have found their way onto YouTube and there seems to be quite a contrast between Tape Deck Heart and England Keep My Bones. As previously stated his earlier work was the album that well and truly established Turner in the mainstream of British music. With an album title taken from Shakespeare, The Life and Death of King John for any of you lit heads out there, it was a fantastic foray of Englishness with the “catchy as shit” (I believe that is the technical term) singles I Still Believe and Wessex Boy. Tape Deck Heart appears to be tackling new ground: “It’s not about England for a start [laughs]. I feel I’ve got that little subject out of my system I think. Lyrically I put a lot of ef-
fort into trying to write a really raw and exposed album. I think the problem with a lot of bands is that once they go on and become more successful, one of the reasons why they become less interesting is because they get too, sort of defensive, in that they start to think too much about how many people are going to start listening to what it is they make. They start to become a bit withdrawn as they think so many people are going to start listening to this that I’d better not say anything bad or too meaningful. So I tried really hard to do the opposite of that really and write the most raw and exposed stuff that I could. “I think particularly Tell Tale Signs is one of those songs that now the creative period is done and I’m thinking about in terms of something to be released rather than something being written, well I’m going to be honest and say I’m a little nervous about that and some parts of the record because it’s really raw. It kind of doesn’t give me many places to hide after shall we say [laughs], but at the end of the day art shouldn’t be easy or comfortable and if you’re going to say something that’s worth saying then it’s not always going to be simple or comfortable.” Another thing that makes this album slightly different is that it comes after Frank’s first foray into hardcore music since the end of Million Dead, the band that made his name back in the early 2000s. The last time I saw Frank play before tonight’s gig was in a crowded sweaty lock up tent at Reading Festival in which a shirtless and incredibly energetic Turner tore through an aggressive set of hardcore with new band Mongol Horde. I honestly can’t remember being in a more brutal crowd, the fact Turner spent half the gig on top of or in the crowd screaming angry political lyrics produced this infectious energy that apart from Scroobius Pip’s 45 minutes in the tiny Alternative Tent, much of the festival had been lacking:
Monday 11th February 2013
bite
Frank Turner
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Erik Weiss
www.bathimpact.com
“
It [the new album] kind of doesn’t give me many places to hide after shall we say, but at the end of the day art shouldn’t be easy or comfortable and if you’re going to say something that’s worth saying then it’s not always going to be simple or comfortable.
“That was fun, but it was very tiring [laughs]. I learned very quickly that I’m not twenty one years old anymore and it was just utterly, utterly draining. But it was really fun and I enjoyed playing heavy music again. I tend to think about every last detail of what I do now and it was liberating because most of the lyrics for Mongol Horde were just the first thing that came to my head [for a brilliant example listen to Tapeworm Uprising] and it was good to just not give a fuck and think, “ah bollocks, just do it”. It’s kind of reminded me of the value of spontaneity to the process and I think with what I’m doing now I’m just trying to free things up a little. “That was also the music and culture I grew up in and I’ve probably got more heavy guitar records than any other style in my music collection and I love that kind of music. I also just really wanted to play with Ben Dawson again. We played together for a long time in Million Dead and other bands before that and I kind of just missed playing with him. “Hopefully [we can release an album soon], it depends really. There’s a problem in that there’s going to be a long period of time in 2013 when I’m going to be off doing promo and away from home, so hopefully during that period Matt and Ben will be able to work together and record the music for the album and then I’ll work on lyrics and vocals to be recorded at some other time. I think we’ll get an album out next year and I really want to tour too, but as and when we’ll actually have time to do that is a different question. But it’s definitely something that I want to do”. If you go away and listen to Cowboy Chords and Tapeworm Uprising you’ll appreciate my curiosity in the question of whether or not it was difficult to get back into the swing of hardcore vocals: “You know I thought it was going to be but it actually wasn’t particularly straining. The one thing I would say though is that I wouldn’t want to do a Mongol Horde show and then do one of my Sleeping Souls shows the next day because it does kind of tear me up a bit. But I was pleasantly surprised by getting back into a raw and heavy sound, it was good.” If The Pavilion is as far from The Olympics stadium as possible, then similarly Mongol Horde are pretty much as far away from playing the Olympics as it’s possible to be, which again makes Turner’s 2012 (he also headlined a sold out Wembley Arena) all the more remarkable: “Yeah it’s been a mad year. Wembley is the boring but probably correct answer [to the question what was his highlight?], that was quite the event. Then the Olympics thing was certainly remarkable, and I’m not sure it was my favourite thing that I did, it was very weird and I’m glad I did it because it’s such an unusual thing to have on your list of life experiences and it was really strange and bizarre. As an actual gig it was really odd but it was fun to do. “It turns out that Danny Boyle is a big fan and we, me and my management, got called saying would we like to come and have a meeting with Danny Boyle which was like, “um, ok, fine”, and then we met with him and he asked me to do what we did and yeah it was very surreal. He’s like a real fan and he knows the album tracks and all the b-sides so that was very weird, but in a good way.” At this point I’ve pretty much exhausted my ten minutes, but there’s just enough time to ask about his favourite albums of 2012 and any of the bands he’s toured with abroad (and that’s a lot, on the date of print Turner has played at least 1347 shows since 2005 and played in 34 countries, the man is a machine) that he’d love to bring over to the UK: [On Albums] “This will be a little boring in a way as I’m about to mostly pick people that I’ve toured with, but my album of the year is definitely Jim Lockey’s record, Death, which is great. Tim Barry’s new one called 40 Miller is great as well. Franz Nicolay’s Do the Struggle I really enjoyed and the new Converge record too. Converge are just consistently one of my favourite bands and they just maintain the highest standards. [On Tours] “Loads actually, it’s just difficult because there’s only so many tours that I’ve got over here. I really want to bring The Smith Street band over from Australia, Larry and His Flask who I toured with in the states were just a truly remarkable live band, one of the best I’ve ever seen and then Cory Branan as well. I always try and bring new people out if I can so I don’t repeat myself.”
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Monday 11th February 2013
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The social media music revolution
www.bathimpact.com
s the old adage goes, in music and life generally, it’s not what you know but who you know that counts. Musicians and their record companies have long worked out that this can work both ways, by creating a large loyal fan base that will stick with a musician throughout their career, musicians will have an almost guaranteed source of income from the sale of merchandise, tickets to live performance and, of course, the music. A cynic would say that most record companies treat many fan-bases as cash cows to be squeezed for all the profit they can afford and for sure, some exploitation of fans definitely goes on but at the end of the day, even musicians need to earn a living, right? Record companies, the clever bastards, know that it is fan interaction that creates and maintains a large and strong fan base. In the days of yore (AKA pre-internet) official fan clubs were the only real form of fan interaction, unless you were a groupie, which involves another type of interaction altogether, one which many musicians seem happy to engage in even for no profit. By joining a fan club, a person might expect a regular update as to what the musicians were up to in the form of a newsletter, an actual real letter, remember them? Fans might also get advance notice of new album and single releases and of upcoming live appearances. Of course much of this material wasn’t actually from the band, sure they had some input, but it was mainly created and edited by the record labels in order to drum up as much interest in the musician as possible, with the aim of getting fans to part with their hard earned cash. But then the Internet, specifically Twitter and Facebook, happened. Social media allowed fans access and insight into the day-to-day lives of our favorite musicians. We suddenly knew what they were having for lunch and that they had ‘not much on’ at the weekend. It humanised musicians and virtually ended the notion that musicians were omnipotent gods to be revered and whose lives we could never dream of having. Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is up for debate. Perhaps it has encouraged the detachment a lot of people have with their music. To follow or like a musician take no effort on our part, we place no personal investment in following bands or singers, so we feel no loss in discarding them and moving on to the next musical sensation. Equally though, new and small bands can gather a large following quickly, as clicking a button to follow is hardly any skin of anyone’s back. Carly Rae Jepson’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ was released for months with little attention paid to it before Justin Beiber heard it on the radio by chance and tweeted about it and it became the best selling single of 2012. The advent of the Internet came with a new music industry buzz word; viral. Viral music represents a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for record companies. The instant availability of music from YouTube and Spotify allows songs to go from unknown to super hit within the space of hours and endower the artist with instant fame, just ask Psy. Of course, the ultimate fan interaction comes with going to see a musician live. A live performance is where a fan can really connect and bond with a musician, I’m strongly of the opinion that you can’t really appreciate most music until you’ve seen the whites of the singer’s eyes mid-song. Unfortunately in the world where everyone is apparently out to hurt everyone, large bands and super star signers feel the need to perform 25 metres away from their fans as if in fear that a member of the audience, who have paid often-outrageous amounts of money to see their idols, may touch them. It was so refreshing to see a distinctly average indie band, Peers, perform a set at Moles recently and then jump straight off the stage to get to the bar, where they spent the rest of the evening chatting to their fans. This sort of behaviour by musicians, direct, real life interaction with their fans, shouldn’t be the exception to the rule. It should be the norm.
sam_stott
A
written by Robert Page
MC Lars, purveyor of post-punk laptop rap, was one of the pioneers of social media in the music industry
Monday 11th February 2013
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15
Album Review: Biffy Clyro & Foals
www.bathimpact.com
written by Lily Morris
written by Alex Philpotts
Opposites is the sixth album from Scotland-based Biffy Clyro, who hit the big time with Puzzle in 2007. Yet their journey hasn’t been as straightforward as it could have been. Due to the problems that Ben, their drummer, was having with alcohol, for a while it looked as though the album wouldn’t be made and the band would break down. The first disc, The Sand at the Core of Our Bones, is about the struggles in the band’s past. It opens with a spine-chilling chord and the accents we know and love. Unfortunately, the first track is in patches mixed oddly so that it is difficult to hear the lyrics. Those we can hear, however, are darkly poetic and with huge potential for drunken sing-alongs. There are also numerous opportunities for air guitar competitions – and even air harp playing with Sounds Like Balloons. My favourite track from the first disc, though, is Black Chandelier. It’s perfect for those moments when you just want to feel totally badass and beat whatever the world throws at you. Another favourite is Biblical, which is a tragic love song. That it’s all in the past tense makes it tiring to listen to; the song tugs at your heart strings. If anyone can listen to the whole of the first disc without crying, I’ll… bake you some chocolate brownies. I was in tears. The Land At The End Of Our Toes is the second disc, and begins with the appropriately titled The Thaw. It’s more positive than the first disc, and about sticking together and feeling like you can achieve anything you want to. Lots of the songs start off feeling very anthemic but then, unfortunately, fail to live up to expectations and end up quite repetitive. Overall, though, the songs on this disc are far more upbeat than on disc 1, and this is the disc to put on while getting ready to go out, or on the last part of a run. This album is fantastic, all in all. Disc one is perfect for those days when you’re mad at the world, while disc two is great for when you feel like you can do anything you want to. Biffy Clyro, doing what they do best.
Antidotes was a quirky debut for Foals. It was rammed with catchy little riffs and beeps and whistles to the extent that it was often indecipherable, but rewarded the dedicated listener. They stripped it all back for the slow-building follow up “Total Life Forever”, which lacked the charm of the original, but introduced the surging epic Spanish Sahara to their catalogue. Now its three and a half years later and Foals have completely reinvented their sound yet again. It’s smarter, it’s angrier and it’s downright funkier. I could honestly take or leave the instrumental opener Prelude, and the same goes for a select few of the later tracks, which drift towards the weaker, self-indulgent end of their spectrum. Beyond the first track, however, the math-rockers from Oxford explode into very possibly their finest musical construction to date. Inhaler, the album’s first single, is a fresh sound. It takes a ruthlessly confident approach to what is essentially the closest Foals will ever come to a dance number. Veering erratically between crashing riffs and angry vocals that relentlessly tear at singer Yannis’ lungs, it’s a tremendous effort that is as memorable for its intelligence as for its sheer strength. My Number is excellent in itself. It supplements the catchy lyrics that Inhaler, for all its impressiveness, lacks. Sadly, the album lets up a little from thereon in, else we’d be talking of Foals’ second contender for the Mercury Prize. Instead, while Everytime and Late Night are enjoyable at the time, they lack anything to distinguish them from the filler tracks on either of Foals’ two previous albums. Bad Habit is a solid piece of music, but the only track on the latter part of the album that matches the intelligent rock the singles exhibit is Milk & Black Spiders, which throws their debut album’s electronic sounds and rhythmic chanting back in classy mix. The tail end of the record kicks off promisingly with Providence bringing back a little bit of the funk, but ultimately doesn’t deliver on quite the same scale of the openers. The final track, Moon, should have been the blowout finale to cement Foals’ angry new sound, but instead withers away with easily the album’s least imaginative bleeps and whirrs. Straight out of the bag that originally made them great, but nothing to interest old fans or win over new ones.
Live Review: Frank Turner & TSS written by Robert Cole
A one armed Elvis is outlined in the beam of the backlight, casting shadows over the intermittent sight of grown men and women in animal costumes blaring out rousing harmonica solos at various points during a tumultuous show. The party atmosphere of this end of tour celebration infused with more than a healthy dose of the spirit of rock and roll. It’s nights like this that give reason to believe there is some resistance to the all-devouring maw of the industry’s plastic machine. Frank Turner, supported more than ably by up and coming Cheltenham folk-rock group, Jim Lockey and the Solemn Sun, and the honest lyricism of Tim Barry, came to inspire the congregation that is his dedicated fan-base and, backed by his well-travelled band, the Sleeping Souls, did so with uplifting and raucous energy to light up what was an incredibly cold night at the Pavilion. This was a performance that truly propelled the crowd into the stratosphere. What has been notable in recent tours is how much the Sleeping Souls have come to the fore, tightening up their chemistry, really taking Frank’s blend of folk, punk and rock and roll to a new level, and rendering gigs as much about them as Frank. This new found drive was evident on opener I Am Disappeared, crowd pleasers The Road, Reasons Not To Be An Idiot and, probably most strikingly of all, new song Plain Sailing Weather, a hard hitting lament to the
futility of relationships. One thing that became apparent through the set was the darker and yearning quality that emerged not only from the set-list, but Frank’s mannerisms on stage. Rarities such as Casanova Lament, Isabel and To Take You Home were delivered with an unmistakeable yearning from Frank, and undeniable sense of loss and feeling of what might have been in not only the subject matter, but the haunted longing in his eyes, raised to the sky. But the crowd empathised and these songs gained the greatest reception of the night. What is striking about Frank is his ability to completely hold an audience in the palm of his hand, to be completely at ease telling intimate stories, and dictating the tempo of the gig, sensing when to lower the intensity and then turn it up back up, leaving the crowd rolling on a wave of raw and unfettered joy and energy. Left drained by the storming closer that is Photosynthesis and Dan’s Song, I cannot help but be reminded of Bruce Springsteen, in his penchant for storytelling, his unbridled joy at doing what he loves and sharing it with an audience, completely at ease on stage, and his ability to command a feeling of reverence amongst the congregation before him. He may never achieve the mainstream achievements of Springsteen, but, in Frank’s own words, is that important ‘as long as you’re living and you’re having fun?’ On nights like this, it’s hard not to agree with him.
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Monday 11th February 2013
New Year, New Wardrobe, New You
Filigree Metal Hoop Earrings, Urban Outfitters £12
Dasiy Skater Dress, Miss Selfridge £42
Slip Carvella Kurt Geiger in Taupe £140 down to £39 Polo Neck Long Sleeve Crop Top, TOPSHOP £12
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Monday 11th February 2013
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A
Written by Sophia Guilfoyle
s students our lives can sometimes be stressful, our minds muddled, and our stress levels over the edge. But it’s the beginning of a bright new semester and it’s time to clear your mind, starting with cleaning out your closet. And so, the first fashion resolution is to have a big clear out; chuck away the old and the tatty, and if you delve deep enough into the back of your wardrobes you may even find some hidden treasures that had been long forgotten. We, the student race, are destined to be permanently strapped for cash so eBay is a god-send, especially for selling those ‘panic-buy’ items that you really didn’t want, but you bought just because you needed to buy something (normally to justify going all the way to Oxford Street). And if you cannot make any money from your unwanted clothes do not forget to donate to Charity Shops which beats sending clothes to land-fill any day. This brings us on to the second resolution; be a penny pincher (well, when it comes to buying clothes anyway). Charity shops are a fantastic way to save money whilst still grabbing high street and designer brands – from Topshop dresses to Russell and Bromley loafers (yes, honestly!), anything is possible if you keep your eyes peeled. Lucky for us there are almost an unlimited number of charity shops in Bath and Eleanor Calver (our model) is a huge fan of them. She asked for a sewing machine for Christmas and saves her pennies by buying and altering her clothes from these bargain shops. Eleanor bagged her whole outfit from charity shops, equipped with an eye for style she shows how easy it is to update your wardrobe with cheap high-street brands for just a fraction of the price. Her simply stylish black polo neck, originally from Kookai, cost Eleanor just four pounds. But the bargains don’t stop there; Eleanor’s whole outfit (including ZARA wedges) cost her a mere fifteen pounds! She spends more on staple jewellery which keeps her style playful and on trend; her hoop earrings are from Laura Ashley and her bracelet from Topshop. Charity shops are a fantastic resource for staple pieces but keep your eye out for fashionable items too, the print of Eleanor’s dress is very on trend this season. And now to the boys, and the third resolution! Whilst it is great idea to save pennies when buying fashionable items to keep your wardrobe up-to-date be sure to make time for investment buying. A key piece of advice is to buy long-lasting, quality items that will serve you year after year. Admittedly, charity shops cater mainly for women – but after all we do buy (and need) more clothes! Fear not though, it is vital to have staple items and for the blokes, these are best found on the high-street. Rob Wilson (model) shows off his easy-going style with simple high street investments. The snapback cap adds individuality to his style and the denim jacket is the perfect way to keep warm with the transition from wintery weather into warmer days. Everyone needs a sturdy pair of brogues and ASOS have certainly delivered with these. Rob’s t-shirt is from All Saints which can sometimes be a pricey brand, but for only £20, why not? Rob shows off his everyday, stylish look that is incredibly easy to achieve if you know where to look.
Lafayete Tonic Scoop, Urban Outfitters £38
Reclaimed Vintage Denim Jacket with Borg Collar, ASOS £60
Models: Eleanor Calver and Rob Wilson PS by Paul Smith Miller Brogues, ASOS £255
Blue and Red Snapback Cap, TOPMAN £12
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Monday 11th February 2013
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Sex Column: Manning up
www.bathimpact.com
moriza
written by bite’s sex columnist
V
alentine’s Day is back again. Maybe you’ll ask someone out, last year maybe you didn’t. If you did maybe they liked you, maybe they didn’t. Maybe they tried to hack your head off with a blunt knife. If they did like you then I hope their ceiling is nice. As part of this issue’s theme of resolution, this goes out to those of you who perhaps weren’t so lucky. If this is you then cancel your subscription to that German Fetish website and pay attention. I will find you love. Not personally, that would be weird. Generally, like a boss. Dating is all about confidence. A potential partner will not like someone who ums and ahs when asked a question. It only worked in Four Weddings and a Funeral because that was a film. Even if you are not a confident person naturally, you can put it on. Relax. When you see a potential suitor, try to make eye contact. If they insult you through the medium of a hand gesture, it’s not going to work. If they vomit, it’s not going to work. However if they return your stare, it may possibly work. Don’t get ahead of yourself; we’ve still got a long way to go. Once eye contact is established, hold it briefly then look away. Do not hold it for more than that. Long stares can lead to a bad reputation, extensive crying and potentially a lengthy prison sentence where you will be using this guide to find a prison bitch. After a minute or so, look again. If they look back and hold the stare. You’re in! Look away again then begin to walk over. If you notice someone else walking in the same direction as you, they are most likely the desired one, not you. If this happens bail out and pretend to tie your shoe, then commando roll and high tail it out of there. Hopefully this won’t happen and you will then be ready to talk to them. “Hello,” is usually good here, “I like your tits,” or “I bet you could crush my head with your biceps,” are not. If they return your ’hello’ then you have a chance. Any sort of swearing here, or perhaps the word ‘off’ or ‘away’, you don’t. Ask their name and tell them yours. Remember their name. I cannot stress this enough. People called Jane do not like to be called John. If you can’t remember their name, how are you going to remember what they like in bed? It’s the little things. Make sure you remember your name too. It happens. Offer to buy them a drink if you’re in a bar. If you are in Boots do not offer to buy anything. If a stranger offered you Paracetamol or shower gel you would be worried. Act naturally; ask them lots of questions about their hobbies, occupation, likes and dislikes. Pretend to be interested. Laugh in the right places. Sad stories; don’t cry, you’ve only just met them. Remember, this is not a police interrogation. Don’t ask them where they live or where they were last night at 2200 hrs, you may be the one being interrogated if you do. By the police. Then hopefully, you can ask for their number. Say you have to leave and that you’ve enjoyed their company and would like to see them again. This will prompt them to suggest giving you their number or alternatively giving them a chance to fob you off. Once you have their number, smile at them, say it was really nice to meet them and that you’ll see them soon. Do not hug them or kiss them on the cheek. They’re not a prostitute. This is, hopefully, a normal person but nevertheless a stranger. Good things come to those who wait. Like Guinness. You have done it. Congratulations. Wait a day or two, then call their number and you are on the way to building a wonderful relationship. Alternatively you could be on the way from ordering a rather disappointing Chicken Tikka Massala.
Agony Aunts: Lucy and Edie You want that don’t you? You want that sweet, sweet happiness. Well read and learn!
Dear Lucy and Edie, I know New Year’s resolutions are generally known for being way too optimistic and impossible to stick to, so I thought I’d set myself attainable resolutions for once. The thing is, I can’t think of any resolutions I could actually stick to. Any ideas? Ross
Dear Ross, We feel your pain. Endless resolutions of giving up alcohol and avoiding men who are bad for us always seem to end in tequila-fueled groping sessions down that alley by XL. Oh well. A new year, a new start. We love the idea of resolutions that you can actually keep, so here are our top three suggestions: • Resolution One: gain a lot of weight. This is a good resolution to make because it’s pretty vague. You can gain as much or as little as you want, depending on how many drunk-kebabs you like to end a night with. Plus, it involves eating, which is always fun. See in 2014 weighing ten stone more than you do now and you’re sorted. • Resolution Two: experiment. This gives you a lot of options: cross-dressing, quitting university or perhaps a foray into a same-sex night of passion that ends in a week of crying, eating too much (see Resolution One) and complete confusion over your sexuality. One night doesn’t make you gay, right? • Resolution Three: abstain from having sex. If you’re a Fresher you can probably ignore this because you’re all too busy getting busy. But as a more, dare I say it, ‘mature’ student no longer in first year, it’s highly likely that you’re going through a dry spell. Even if you’re in a relationship, there’s still not that much time to spare for anything wild. University actually requires work, lectures have to be attended and life is no longer one, big, drug-infused party. So chances are you’ve mellowed slightly and aren’t getting it five times a week anymore, making this resolution easy to stick to. And the best thing is, if you do get laid, you might be breaking a resolution but you’re probably having more fun. So it’s a win-win situation for your mental state and your penis/ vagina/ whatever you have down there. Good luck, Lucy and Edie
Dear Lucy and Edie, I’m a final-year mature male student of thirty-eight, which I know might not be relatable to many of your readers, but I really need your help. I haven’t had sex yet. At all. Not even with an inflatable doll or the more accomodating types of fruit. At the risk of going all Steve Carell on you, I don’t want to be a forty-year-old-virgin. Yours, A very ashamed man with a huge right arm and an internet history filthier than a homeless person’s toenails Dear man who must be very unbalanced and needs to learn about incognito-browsing (thank you Google Chrome), This is a tricky situation to be in. Oh. Oh wait. No. It’s not. Man up. Despite what we said about it being tricky to get any action when you’re no longer a firstyear, it’s not really that hard. Unless you’re unattractive, shy, poor and lacking in the penisdepartment. If you don’t tick any of those boxes, get in contact with us privately. Please. We are no longer first years either and it’s been a dry winter. However, if you are struggling, you have several options. Spread a rumour about how well endowed you are. Pay a few people to brag loudly in public areas about how amazing you are in bed. Instagram seductive, naked selfies and post them on Facebook. Write statuses about how hard it is to find underwear big enough for your junk to fit in. Sigh loudly whilst stood in Fresh and complain about the fact that Durex doesn’t make size XXXXL condoms. The ladies will come flocking to you. Choose one. Or two, may as well make the first time special. Then there’s nothing left to do but take Viagra, act like the guy from that porno with the broken photocopier that you’ve bookmarked and go wild. Have fun and stay safe, Lucy and Edie
Monday 11th February 2013
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Resolutions:Healthy eating www.bathimpact.com
written by Lily Morris
Ready Meals
No time, no problem! Eating more healthily is a part of many people’s New Year’s Resolutions, but when there are so many other things to do, is it any wonder that prepping veg and healthy soups often falls by the wayside? Here are my top three ways to eat that little bit healthier:
So most of the healthy eating crowd will be shocked at this one, but you know what? There are some days when you just want to curl up on the sofa with a ‘ping’ meal, and it helps you feel good about it (and allow yourself more Ben & Jerry’s afterwards…) if it’s as not-unhealthy as possible. My secret tip is this: Sainsbury’s Basics ready meals. Because they’re so cheap, they’re slightly smaller than most ready meals, meaning that the portion size is much better than lots of the over-big meals. Also, they tend to have the ingredients you would use at home, with only a few extra additives. The best trick with these is to always have one in the freezer. Try them. You can thank me later.
Parsnip Chips Everyone likes chicken nuggets and chips as comfort food at the end of a long day, and, frankly, this is when we start to fall off the wagon of healthy eating. I recently discovered this small modification that you can make to any meal with chips and it’s wonderful. Mindblowingly, these are both healthier and yummier than standard chips. Steak frites, coming up!
1
Grab two parsnips per person (three per rugby player, maybe) and peel them
2
Chop away the head and tail, and cut what remains into chip-sized pieces, making sure no piece is too thick
4
Heat the oven to 200˚ and place tray in oven for twenty minutes
3
1
Place frozen meal in microwave and wait alotted time before consuming
Lay out the pieces in a baking tray of your choice and douse with oil and your favorite flavourings (I like to use paprika or maybe garlic)
Everything with Veg Another way of doing this is with peppers. I am addicted to red peppers. They’re expensive, I know. I ask forgiveness. Anyway, these (and many other fruits) work well in pretty much every meal. Depending on whether you want them more cooked or more juicy and fresh, you can chuck them in with the onions at the start of a curry (for example) or just before serving with pasta and tuna. Adding fruit in the mix is a great way to enhance the usual boring meal. Delicious.
Not quite such a quick fix as the parsnip chips, but still simple. All you’ll need is your standard set of meals, and a packet of frozen veg. It’s so easy and it’s a great way to up your intake of green vegetables!
1 2 3
Select your choice of fresh or frozen veggies (consider peas and broccoli)
1 2
Add your selection of veggies into your regular meal that involves liquid (pasta and curry are an example)
Select your choice of fruits as an alternative to veggies
Chop up and add to the main meal in the end for texture and a boost of unique flavor
Or, pair your seasoned chicken breast with some veggies by boiling them in advance
bite tries the new KitKat Chunky flavours
“
The most pretentious chocolate bar I’ve ever met” Professor Science
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It was nice the first time, but not nice the second” Helen Edworthy
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The not rubbish one. A refreshing wafery breeze through your face” Professor Science
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It’s like bounty, but shit” Liv Hows
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Monday 11th February 2013
Puzzle Corner
Across 1. Dark beer that’s had all its ingredients roasted (5) 3. Even David Beckham can spell this beer (5) 7. Bath Ales’ crowning jewel (3) 10. A tasty ale named after a small orc that enjoys to cook (9) 12. Mexican beer best served with citrus side (6) 13. The American counterpart of the Czech Republic’s favourite drink (9) 14. Without Micheal (3,6) 16. Flyweight brew from the Rockies (5,5) 18. A type of beer fermented and conditioned at low temperatures (5) 19.Beer that takes its name from the Dutch river that used to provide the water for its brewing (6)
Kakuro
Down 2. This stripy brew often feels at home in the jungle (5) 4. Chris Brown’s favourite drink (6,6) 5. The second most popular beer in Italy (6) 6. Honestly, the world’s worst beer (7) 8. Beer that shares its birth year with the Great Plague of London (11) 9. A hearty bitter that hides behind a very generic name (4,6) 11. Pretty much the only reason anyone cares about Ireland (8) 15. The Australian brew that really isn’t from down under (7) 16. Sounds a lot like a certain Norwegian cheese (9) 17. Beer not dissimilar to a retro mobile phone game (5)
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Horoscopes www.bathimpact.com
Aquarius January 21 - February 19
You’re another year older this month, but let’s face it, you’re still a bit shit aren’t you
Pisces
February 20 - March 20
It’s a new year so set yourself some goals! Aim low though or your next horoscope will mostly be disappointment
Aries
March 21 - April 20 You’re really humble. Go out of your way to make sure everyone knows just how humble you are.
Taurus
April 21 - May 20
Luckily for you, 2013 is set to be the year that robotics advances to include friends and fuck buddies
Sudoku
Gemini
The object of a Kakuro is to insert a digit from 1 to 9 into each white cell so that the sum of the numbers in each row or column matches the clue associated with it (above or to the left of the row or column). No digit can be duplicated in any sum. Enjoy!
May 21 - June 20
I’m annoyed at you. Yes you my friend who’s a Gemini. Yes, you Matt. I know you’ve got my bike
Cancer
June 21 - July 21
Fletch, make Matt give my bike back
Bridges
Leo
July 22 - August 22 No matter how bad things get, you can always blame Nick Clegg
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
There’s always a silver lining. For example every bad day is a day closer to John Terry’s death
Libra
September 23 - October 22 New year, new you! Masturbate with your other hand
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Remember, you’re not arrogant. Everyone else is just wrong
Capricorn Scorpio
December 22 - January 20
October 23 - November 21
Darius N. www.gonescribbling.tumblr.com
Now this is essential. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE WU TANG CLAN Are you guys still seriously reading these? I gave up weeks ago