Laughter it Off

from BAZE FOCUS MAGAZINE 2020 EDITION (9th December 2020)

47. Learn to Live

Little boy sitting near a pregnant woman in the Hospital.

Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Oh. Really! Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Hmm. If the baby is good, why did you have to eat it up?

Class Debate

Teacher: Now that we have all witnessed the impact of COVID-19 Lockdown, who is more important to the society, a Doctor or a Teacher?

Student:

Hmm! The Teacher is more important. This is why they told the Teachers to stay at home and be safe. Even if Doctors die, Teachers will teach more students and train new Doctors. With these few points of mine, I believe I have been able to convince and not confuse you that Teachers, I repeat Teachers are the best and most important persons in our society. Thank you.

JUST KEEP LAUGHING

1. Can February march? No, but April may!" 2. How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll meet in court!" 3. Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, they wouldn’t fit me." 4. Why are frogs always so happy? They eat whatever bugs them! 5. Can you allow a Nurse whose Husband sells Coffins attend to your pregnant wife in a hospital? 6. How many Leaves do Public Servants get? Ugu leaf, Ewedu leaf, Water leaf and Bitter leaf. 7. Three Medical Doctors are discussing the types of patients they prefer. Doctor A: ''I prefer Librarians; all their organs are alphabetized.'' Doctor B: ''I prefer Mathematicians; their organs are clearly numbered.'' Doctor C: ''I prefer Lawyers, they pay their hospital bills on time because whether they win or lose in court, they collect their Fees.

Nigerian Proverbs in Pidgin English

Nigerian Proverbs are on point with little effort! Render them in pidgin, and you add extra flavour! 1. A get am before no be property!

Translation: Don’t be boastful, never lay claims to past gone acquisitions.

2. Today na Newspaper, tomorrow na Suyapaper. Translation: No matter a situation, it will pass! 3. Same papa wit mama bon Akara and Moi moi. Na how dem tak waka for fire, mak dem difren.

Translation: how you start a race does not matter, it’s the end that is important.

4. Fowl wey dem carry for head no know say to waka na work.

Translation: You don’t know the value when someone else pays the bill.

5. Small pikin take agbada stat guy, wetin im wan wear wen e old?

Translation: Take life easy, you can’t walk before you crawl.

6. Na pesin wey nor get money say Garri get Vitamin pass Salad. Translation: Face your reality. 7. Pesin wey too tey for party, go follow dem wash plate. Translation: Don’t overstay welcome! 8. Life dey show you pepper, you sef turn am to pepper soup.

Translation: Make something good out of a bad situation.

9. If God wan bless you, even your goat go born cow.

Translation: God’s blessings come in double folds.

Name: Blessing Afekade Agbomhere, ACArb. ID Number: BU/17C/LAW/2857 Faculty: Law Email: Blessing2857@bazeuniversity.edu.ng Date of Birth: July 8th, 1979 Marital Status: Single Nationality: Nigerian State of Origin: Edo LGA: Etsako Central Hobbies: Reading, writing, listening to music, dancing and swimming.

BRIEF PROFILE:

Blessing Afekade Agbomhere, a final year law student (500 level) of Baze University Abuja is a young statesman full of enthusiasm and faith in the workability of the Nigerian State. He was born in the municipality of Auchi in Edo State, to the family of Chief Moses Bob Hussein Imhovhiera Agbomhere from Fugar, Edo State. As a little boy, Blessing attended the Azama Primary School as well as Success Secondary School, both in Jattu Edo State and graduated as one of the best students. In recognition of his desire to search for knowledge, share developmental ideas, promote good governance and influence people to live a life of service to humanity, he proceeded to the International Institute of Journalism, Abuja where he studied and obtained a Diploma in Journalism, a Higher Diploma in Journalism (HD) and a Post Graduate Diploma (PGD) in Public Relations and Advertising. Personal Goal - His crusade is for a society where the happiness and fulfillment of the next person will be the joy of everybody; his passion is to ensure that we all help each other to live in el dorado, here on planet earth.

Adamu Abbas AHMAN PRESIDENT STUDENTS’ REPRESENTATIVE COUNICL (2019) Rabi Bello MOHAMMED PRESIDENT STUDENTS’ REPRESENTATIVE COUNICL (2018) Gift ENWERE PRESIDENT LAW STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION

(2019) Chimdi Deborah NELIAKU PRESIDENT LAW STUDENTS’ ASSOCIATION (2018)

High-end Equipment at the Faculty of Engineering

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The Inaugural Baze University Townhall Meeting was called at the instance of the of Management to discuss issues on strengthening service delivery and achieving corporate goals. The atmosphere was very cordial and staff had opportunity to ask several questions on sustaining excellence in university education, capacity development and welfare matters.