BBM Magazine AUG 2012 by bbmlive.com

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AUGUST HIGHLIGHTS DJANGO DJANGO

If you missed out on tickets for Django Django for the Oxford Art Factory on the 1 August, then don’t worry, the band are playing the next day and the show isn’t sold out… yet. The Dalston fourpiece are psychedelic pop at its best and their live shows are certainly worth seeing. To buy tickets, go to: www.moshtix.com.au What: Django Django When: Thursday 2 August Where: Oxford Art Factory, Sydney Price: $46.20 + BF For more information visit www.bbmlive.com

CHET FAKER ‘CIGARETTES & CHOCOLATE’ TOUR

Melbourne electronica artist, Chet Faker, is once again touring around Australia, bringing his cool, unique sound to a city near you. So far this year, Chet has released his debut EP and has played at SXSW, The Great Escape and the Sydney Opera house. If you like your electronic music with a kick of jazz and a sprinkle of soul, or you just want something a bit different to listen to, then don’t miss this. What: Chet Faker When: Friday 3 August – Friday 14 September Where: Perth, Fremantle, Sydney, Canberra, Adelaide, Melbourne and Brisbane. Price: $18 + BF For more information visit www.bbmlive.com

THE FALLS

Sydney duo, The Falls, will be touring Australia in August, after the release of their EP ‘Hollywood’. The duo, Simon Rudston-Brown and Melinda Kirwin, have quite a sweet but intense story and relationship, but through this, they have created beautiful music. The Single ‘Home’ has recently been released and the video can be seen here: What: The Falls When: Saturday 3rd August-Saturday 25th August Where: Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide & Hobart For more information visit www.bbmlive.com

JINJA SAFARI, OPOSSOM AND WHITE ARROWS ON THE BLIND DATE TOUR

Jinja Safari’s cosmic pop will be touring this August and will be joined by the psychedelic Opossom and some indie-synth from White Arrows on The Blind Date Tour. The shows are set to involve a lot dancing and an amazing atmosphere. Jinja Safari are known for their live antics, so this is one show not to be missed. What: Jinja Safari, Opossom and White Arrows When: Wednesday 8 – Saturday 18 August Where: Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Canberra, Newcastle, Sydney and Brisbane Price: $35 + BF For more tour details visit: www.jinjasafari.com/the-blind-date-tour

BILLY TALENT

You might not have heard the name ‘Billy Talent’ for a few years now, but the Canadian punk rock band are back with a new album coming out this September. They were last in Australia for the 2009 Soundwave festival, but since then, drummer Aaron Solowoniuk has undergone open-heart surgery. Now Billy Talent are back, bigger and better than ever and want you to join them in the mosh pit. What: Billy Talent When: Thursday 9 – Sunday 12 August Where: Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne Price: Prices vary depending on venue For more tour details visit: www.bbmlive.com

FEVAH’S 15TH BIRTHDAY

Fevah is celebrating its 15th birthday in style with a huge party in Melbourne. Special guest DJs include Phil Reynolds, who’s been with Fevah since the beginning, James Lawson, a Melbourne favourite, and Eamonn Fevah, cofounder. Joining them will be Skol, Riksta, Danny Gilligan, Craig Jon, Paul Robertson and Steve Nichols.

What: Mark Presents - Fashion vs. Music When: Saturday 18th August Where: Sydney Price: $80 For more Information visit www.tickets.myguestlist.com

PiGEON ‘OH HEBE’ SINGLE TOUR

Having just been announced as finalists in the upcoming QLD Music Awards ( Electronic/ Dance category), the main supports for Van She’s upcoming QLD shows, and with some other big news coming very soon as well, you’d think Brisbane five piece live electronic, dance band Pigeon might take even just a small moment to pause and reflect. What: Pigeons + Special Guests Single Tour When: Saturday 18th August 8pm Where: Goodgod Small Club Sydney Price: $12 + BF For more Information visit www.bbmlive.com

MONEY FOR ROPE WITH THE DELTA RIGGS

Like morning glory, that feeling is coming ‘round again, with the announcement of dual Melbourne rockers The Delta Riggs and Money For Rope hitting the road this August for the ‘Double Vision Tour’. Kick-started by the release of ’Counter Revolution’ and the corresponding Pyramid Rock Unearthed win, The ‘Riggs have Z-TRIP toured relentlessly, with appearances numerous King of the beats! The DJ’s DJ! Originator of the festivals and tours with The Jim Jones Review Mash-Up style! It’s Z-Trip returning to Oz with his and Stonefield. all new AV Show! No stranger to our shores, DJ Z-Trip is Zach What: Money For Rope with The Delta Riggs Sciacca, an avid music collector who has worked When: Thursday 23 August 2012 7:30pm tirelessly to take the foundations of Hip-Hop to Where: Northcote Social Club, Northcote the furthest reaches of the galaxy by way of his For more information visit ingenious blends and defying skills. www.moneyforrope.com With his seminal mixes such as ‘Uneasy Listening’ gathering momentum alongside ones like Cut SEEKAE Chemist and Shadow’s Brainfreeze at the turn of the century, Z-Trip took the format invented by No longer is Seekae Australia’s best-kept Grandmaster Flash and showed what was really secret. Since the release of their second fullpossible with two turntables, spearheaded a length album ‘Dome’, Seekae have garnered genre known as mash-up, which would transform praise and fans from around the world. In 2011, Seekae took their trademark live show to Japan, music for a decade to follow. America, England and Europe. Returning home, What: Niche Productions presents Z-Trip and this year, they sold out their Vivid Festival show at the Sydney Opera House – a performance special guests featuring an 8-piece string ensemble. When: Thursday 9th August – Tuesday 14th Australian shows, with special guests Kangaroo August Skull and Thomas William. Where: Melbourne, Sydney, Perth & Brisbane Tickets on sale now. For more information visit www.bbmlive.com What: Fevah’s 15th Birthday When: Friday 17 August Where: Fevah Melbourne Price: $50 + BF For more information visit www.bbmlive.com

FASHION VS MUSIC

Launch Event which has Fashion everywhere you look, Runway shows, 700 people on board, Amazing Top Sydney Models, Best Australian DJ’s, Bongo Player, Sax Player, Gorgeous Female Singer, Classy Black and White Dress Code, Flowing Cocktails and Champagne, Latest Fashion Bloggers and Critics, Milan Fashion Show Makeup ‘Lord and Berry’, Makeup Artists supplied by the amazing ‘Cameron Jane’, Photographers, Videographers, A special top secret 3rd runway show, Fireworks and it’s on one of Australia’s Most Incredible Boats ‘The Star Ship’ Well this event is happening!

What: Seekae East Coast Tour 2012 When: Friday 31st August – Friday 7th September Where: Melbourne, Brisbane & Sydney For more information visit www.bordenmgmt.com

BOOKING AHEAD SEPTEMBER

1 LOON LAKE Northcote Social Club, Melbourne, $12 + BF 1 REGGAETOWN WORLD MUSIC FESTIVAL 10th ANNIVERSARY, The Kuranda Amphitheatre 8 JERICCO, The Epsy, Melbourne, $22+BF 12-13 BIG SOUND, Judith Wright Centre of Contemporary Arts, Brisbane, $45+BF 17 SUBHUMANS Northcote Social Club, Melbourne, $45 + BF 19 FUTURE ISLANDS Northcote Social Club, Melbourne, $25 + BF 21 SLEEPMAKESWAVES Northcote Social Club, Melbourne, $11 + BF 22 POOL PARTY Chinese Laundry, Sydney, $50 22 THE BIG THINGS TOUR FEAT TUKA, ELLESQUIRE & DAILY MEDS, Northcote Social Club, Melbourne, $17 + BF 25 MARIANS TRENCH, The Zoo, Brisbane, Tix on sale Friday 27th July 25-27 SCISSOR SISTERS, The Arena, Brisbane, Hamer Hall Arts Centre Melbourne, Opera House, Concert Hall, Sydney $64-84+BF

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Sydney’s Best Roast Dinners You may be fed up of the cold and wet weather, which currently mirrors that of the UK summer, and you probably want to go somewhere warm for an afternoon to forget about it all. Here at BBM, we’ve had a gander and we think we’ve found a few places in Sydney to go for a taste of home – the traditional Sunday roast. The thought of one is almost guaranteed to make you smile, especially if we mention roast potatoes, Yorkshire puddings, and proper gravy… is your mouth watering yet? If it is, read on and find some mates to go to dinner with.

Pilu at Freshwater

Sticky

P.J.O’Brien’s

The Porterhouse

The Gazebo

At the Gazebo, they serve up a roast that your mother would be proud of. Along with the meat, you get all the trimmings of green veg and potatoes with a Yorkshire pud and gravy to boot. To heat you up further still, they have a Sunday special of $15 jugs of Pimms and Sangria – just to give you that ‘warmer climate’ feeling inside. 2 Elizabeth Bay Road, Elizabeth Bay, 2011 (02) 9357 533 www.gazebowinegarden.com.au

The Chophouse

The Dolphin

If you’re feeling a little bit homesick and are pining for a proper taste of home, then go to The Porterhouse. Cosy and traditional, they have award-winning food to fill your tummy, including what they call Sydney’s best and original roast. It comes served with roast potatoes, pumpkin, peas, carrots all topped off with Yorkshire pudding and gravy. The best bit about The Porterhouse’s roast is that it only costs $12. Pints of Guinness, Kilkenny and Bulmers are only $6 too, perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon. 233 Riley Street, Surrey Hills, 2010 (02) 9211 4454 www.porterhouse.com.au

For an expensive treat, take a trip to Pilu at Freshwater. It’s a little bit out the way, but if you’re celebrating a birthday, anniversary or different special occasion, then it is so worth the effort. They do an oven roasted suckling pig with rosemary scented crackling for $100 for two people. Yes, it is expensive, but it is the stuff of legend and comes served with pinzimonio, seasonal vegetables and roast potatoes. Booking ahead is recommended to ensure you get a table and a roast. Moore Road, Harbord, 2096 (02) 9938 3331 www.piluatfreshwater.com.au

This bar above Table For 20 does a roast with a twist. Well, it’s not so much a twist, it’s just that their roast dinner is served on a Wednesday instead of a Sunday. However, if you fancy a mid-week feast, then Sticky’s $15 roast is a winner. The meat changes every week, so if you’re concerned about what might be on offer, then just phone up. The roast is served from 6pm until 9pm, with live music from 8pm. Great food with a great atmosphere – what more do you want? 182 Campbell Street, Surrey Hills, 2010 (04) 1609 6916 www.tablefor20.blogspot.co.uk The Chophouse, as the name suggests, is for those who love meat. The interior is beautifully decorated and harks back to the era of the old New York steakhouse. For $18, you can get the roast dinner special that comes with beef, pork or half & half. Every roast dinner comes with a side of perfectly cooked crackling. The vegetables here get as much care and attention as the meat. Green beans are served with herb butter, while brussel sprouts are sautéed and served with white anchovy and rosemary – not like those sprouts you get at Christmas! The Chophouse is a taste sensation. 25 Bligh Street, Sydney 1300 246 748 www.chophouse.com.au

P.J.O’Brien’s claim they do ‘The Best Sunday Roasts in Town’. With roast beef, roast lamb, roast chicken and their ‘roast of the day’, there’s a whole host of roasts to choose from (have we said ‘roast’ enough yet?). The meat comes served with a creamy mash, seasonal vegetables and gravy. You can stay on after your dinner for a whisky and PJ’s ‘Trad Sunday Sessions’, from 6-9pm, featuring live Irish music. Perfect to keep you warm from the chill outside. 57 King Street, Sydney (02) 9290 1811 www.pjobriens.com.au/sydney As well as boasting Sydney’s biggest projector wall, running one storey wide and two storeys high, The Dolphin also has a pretty good (and cheap) roast dinner. If you buy one drink – not that it wasn’t going to happen anyway – you get a full roast dinner for $17.50 with all the trimmings. The Dolphin also does a ‘Build your own Bloody Mary’ all day on Sundays, where, for $9, you can purchase the ingredients for the cocktail and then make it yourself! 412 Crown Street, Surry Hills, NSW 2010 (02) 9331 4800 www.dolphinhotel.com.au

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Comedy In The City

Laughing is infectious. It’s almost like it’s a zombie pathogen and once you’ve been infected you turn in to a laughing zombie of sorts, albeit a funny zombie. Wait, that makes it sound bad. Let’s start again. Laughing is infectious and it has the power to brighten up your mood and make those sorry woes disappear. So why not check out BBM’s list of the best nights of comedy in Sydney and Melbourne and turn that frown upside down with a little side splitting laughter.

The Fringe Bar

Monday nights don’t have to be all ‘post-weekend doom and gloom’. Thanks to the guys down at The Fringe Bar on Oxford Street, their famous comedy night is back from 8pm to make you feel happy that it’s Monday. The Fringe has just undergone a complete renovation and facelift for your pleasure- making it even more appealing to the eye and creating a great atmosphere for you and your mates. This place is eccentric with a capital E, with an interior to match. One of Sydney’s longest running comedy nights, this place is the wise elderly owl of the comedy World in Sydney. If you fancy combing laughs with after-work dinner, they also have some great food promotions on throughout the week. 106 Oxford Street, Paddington (02) 9360 7994 www.broomegroup.com.au/fringe

Café Lounge

Despite being known as one of Surry Hill’s ‘small bars’ they sure know how to pack them in at Café Lounge. Every Monday night they play host to new and old hands of comedy alike. Come for the cheap pizza and drinks, stay for the two sets of comedy. The sheer amount of acts that the Café Lounge put on means that there’s never going to be something that you won’t enjoy, just stuff to put a smile on your face and giggle in your belly – like a bowlful of jelly? Perhaps it’s a bit too soon for jolly Saint Nick, but you’ll definitely get your jollies off in the Café Lounge on Monday nights. Mondays, 7:30pm 277 Goulburn Street, Surry Hills, Sydney, NSW 2010 (02) 9016 3951 www.cafelounge.co.au

El Rocco Room

Being voted Sydney’s best comedy room has to say something about a place before you go. Described as an epic, intimate comedy club with first class performances. The El Rocco Room aims to please with its NYC basement jazz club décor and atmosphere, you’ll be forgiven if you think you’ve been transported to the big apple itself. A delicious bar upstairs with seating so you can catch not one, but two shows a night, if you your heart and diaphragm can take the strain. 154 Brougham Street, Kings Cross, Sydney, NSW 2011 (02) 9300 9060

A Mic In Hand

It’s not often that Thursdays nights are filled with any sort of glee. To be fair most nights of the week aren’t particularly interesting or fun filled. But if you want to make that dreary Thursday a thing of the past, stepping in to ‘Mic In Hand’ is probably your best shot. It brings the best in Sydney’s up-and-comers, and also draws top-shelf comics to try out new material, so as well as making Thursdays fun, you’ve also got a sneak preview at next year’s biggest show. Now just to find something to brighten up the rest of the week. Thursdays, 8pm, Free 58 Cowper Street, Glebe Sydney, NSW 2037 (02) 9660 2326 www.friendinhand.com.au

The Roxbury Hotel

Dendy – Opera Quays

Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 8pm 182 St. Johns Road, Glebe, Sydney, NSW 2037 (02) 9692 0822 www.roxbury.com.au By Phillip Andreas

Tickets: Adults: $17 – Bargain Tuesday: $10.50 Shop 9, 2 East Circular Quay, NSW, 2042 (02) 9247 3838 www.dendy.com.au

This quiet and unassuming place is just the kind of place you’d think you’d find some grade-A quality comedy. The Roxbury Hotel has been known to just let high-profile comics book and just do what they please. That’s usually preceded by a slew of fine open-mic comedy warriors looking for some laughs. That’s Wednesday, but Tuesday is a different day and all kinds of different comedy; improv to be exact. The No Love Tennis crew entertain with their ever changing, but thoroughly entertaining, improv shows on Tuesday nights.

Dendy has two locations in Sydney – one at the Opera Quays and the other on the trendy King Street in Newtown. Currently, at the Dendy at Opera Quays, you can take part in their Winter Wonderland season, which is showing classics such as Pride and Prejudice, starring Laurence Olivier, and Swing Time, starring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Dendy also shows modern blockbuster releases, which you can enjoy with an alcoholic beverage in their comfy chairs. A real favourite amongst cinema goers.

Mount Vic Flicks

Independent cinemas Everyone loves a trip to the cinema, especially when it’s a cosy, independent cinema where you can order cocktails. We at BBM towers have found the top five boutique screens in Sydney, where you can watch recent releases and old classics. One of the best things about these independent cinemas is the price; the big multiplexes don’t give you much of an experience for your money, but that’s exactly what you get at places like Govinda’s and The Chauvel. Read on for the best cinemas to check out in Sydney.

Govinda’s

If you’re interested in sorting out your chakra whilst watching a film, then try out Govinda’s. This quirky little place is actually a vegetarian buffet restaurant complete with ‘The Movie Room’ upstairs, where you can lie down and relax on comfy cushions and take in the opulent surroundings before the film starts. And there’s a decent choice of films too. Govinda’s won the best vegetarian restaurant in Sydney in 2011, serving many dishes from chick pea dahl to cauliflower pakoras. The boutique cinema and restaurant is the perfect place to impress on a first date. Tickets: Movie only: $13.90 - Dinner & movie package: $29.80 112 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst, NSW, 2010 02 9380 5155 www.govindas.com.au

The Chauvel

Formerly the Paddington Town Hall Ballroom, The Chauvel still has the fully sprung dance floor underneath its cinema chairs. The range of films here is exceptional, from world cinema to independent releases to anything current; a trip to this cinema should leave you feeling fulfilled. There’s also a café on the second floor with beautiful views over Paddington that serves healthy popcorn cooked in olive oil and a choice of wine and beer. The Chauvel can also be hired out for private functions. Tickets: Bargain Monday: $11 Every other day $18.50 Corner Oxford Street & Oatley Road, Paddington 02 9361 5398 www.palacecinemas.com.au/cinemas/chauvel

The Ritz

Built in 1937, The Ritz cinema is one of only two art deco cinemas remaining in Sydney with its elegant theatres. Although over the years more screens have been added to make it a multiplex, The Ritz is still family owned and independent. It is also able to boast one of the cheapest ticket prices around with an adult ticket being just $13. You can now see recent releases in style in one of the stunning auditoriums, with a cocktail in hand (served at the Ritz Lounge Bar). Perfect. Tickets: Adults: $13 – Bargain Tuesdays: $8 45 St Paul’s Street, Randwick (02) 9399 5722 www.ritzcinema.com.au

This one is a bit out of the way, but if you can make it up there, it’s definitely worth it. Mount Vic Flicks is up Mount Victoria, 1043m high, and is as old-fashioned as you like. With ushers and a live piano player, the cinema is heated on those cold winter nights and has a delicious range of candy and snacks. Tickets: Adults: $10 Harley Avenue, Mount Victoria, NSW, 2786 (02) 4787 1577 www.mountvicflicks.com.au By Georgina Deacon

Sydney Comedy Clubs As Steve Martin states ‘What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.’ Well, these venues in Sydney may just make you nearly vomit with some of Australia’s finest and fresh comedy talent being showcased throughout each and every week of the year. Combining dinner with stand up or comedy shows creates an evening that won’t be forgotten for a long time to come. Try your own hand at comedy stand up or karaoke or simply sit back and enjoy the giggly ride. These are BBM’s favourite three Sydney comedy clubs, comin’ atcha’ to tickle your toes and burst your bubble.

Happy Endings Comedy Club

Head into Kings Cross for a night of giggles and tears (the happy kind) at the 2011 & 2012 Time Out Comedy Award winners- Happy Endings. This comedy club is a top venue, intimate and quirky down in the cool and crazy playground of Kings Cross. With special guests appearing every Saturday, this club mean business and so does their loyal following with many of their shows selling out weeks in advance. Great value with or without food, this comedy club will have you in stitches. 154 Brougham St, Cnr William St, Kings Cross (02) 9300 9060 www.happyendingscomedyclub.com.au

The Laugh Garage

From Wednesday to Saturdays, head to this Garage of pure laughs and love. Most tickets are around the $10-15 mark and worth every last cent. Since 2001 this club has been making Sydney that little bit chirpier! Try your hand at open mic or just sit, chill and enjoy the entertainment on offer. Head to Grouchos bar for some pre-show drinks and munch, the happy hours are flawless with $2 pizzas and ladies nights on offer for cheap cocktails. Karaoke Tuesdays are going to be a blast starting from the beginning of September, until then- this place will rock your socks off. B1, 60 Park Street, Sydney (02) 9264 1161 www.thelaughgarage.com

The Comedy Store Sydney

The Comedy Store is first because it’s without a doubt the best place to see comics who are at the top of their game perform. This 300-seat theatre is a one-stop venue for the cream of touring comics, local and international alike. Since being the oldest home of comedy in Sydney it’s not surprising that it’s got its reputation for being the best. Owned by the same guys who put on Sydney’s Comedy Festival every year, you know that there are going to be some fine acts on this stage. Pack an oxygen tank because you won’t be able to breathe you’ll be laughing so hard. Tuesday – Saturdays, 8:30pm. $20 - $30 The Entertainment Quarter, Corner Land Road and Driver Avenue, Moore Park (02) 9357 1419 www.comedystore.com.au There’s an Irish contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? he doesn’t know the answer. Chris Tarrant says: “Don’t forget you’ve got 50/50, ask the audience and phone a friend.” The Irishman says: “I’ll phone a friend, please Chris.” He gets on the phone and says: “Hi Seamus, I just want to ask you, do you think I should do 50/50 or ask the audience?” Angus Fraser, Cricket Writer

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CHECK THIS THIS OUT OUT -- SYDNEY SYDNEY CHECK

Inside Coogee

Dolphin Point is an open rock pool carved out of the rocks at the northern end of the beach. Here you will find a sobering memorial to the 20 Coogee residents who were sadly killed in the 2002 Bali Bombing.

If you favour something a little more exotic then your best bet is Chilli Box, a Thai restaurant which attracts people from across Sydney who come to see whether it is in fact the “Best Thai in the eastern suburbs”.

Gordon’s Bay is a popular snorkelling spot slightly further north. This rocky inlet means that there is plenty of underwater life to scrutinise through your mask as you follow the underwater snorkel trail. For those of you who have always thought that you had a touch of the naturist in you – Gordon’s Bay is a popular nudey-sunbathing spot. Now you can’t drag your friends there and then feign surprise when you cop an eye full of more than you bargained for…

Time for a bevvy…

Safety First! The beach itself drops off suddenly at the waters edge. This means that when the surf is large, it can cause a very dangerous shore break. A number of spinal injuries are recorded at this beach every year so if the surf looks a little wild, ask the advice of a friendly lifeguard, or hold your horses and wait until a calmer day. Better safe than sorry.

What to do…

Chances are if you are heading to Sydney and are planning on sticking around for a substantial amount of time, your plan of action will be to move to the beach. I mean, Kings Cross only holds so much appeal and that normally runs out over time, and then you may well fancy a change of scenery. Coogee is a beach side suburb around 8km south-east of Sydney CBD. You might wonder where it got its bizarre sounding name – well allow me to enlighten you. Legend has it that it comes from the Aboriginal word “koojah” meaning “smelly place”. Be-spectacled, pipe-smoking historians believe that this may be linked to the word “koo-chai” meaning “stinking seaweed” which apparently used to plague the beach. Fear not – Coogee smells of nothing but barbeques and happiness nowadays. The area became a hugely popular tourist beach at the start of the 20th Century when it was linked to the city by tram. There was also a pier and an aquarium which kept those tourists flocking in. Although the pier was removed and trams ceased running in 1960, Coogee had won people over with its natural beauty and laid-back charm.

Beach life…

After the beast that is Bondi, Coogee is arguably Sydney’s most popular beach. It’s worth noting that this is a swimming beach, not a surf beach as it has a reputation for its dumping waves. The beach is sheltered from the roughest seas by Wedding Cake Island, which is around 800m off the southern headland.

Wylie’s Baths, established in 1907 by big-shot long distance and open water swimmer Henry Alexander Wylie are ocean water baths located at the end of the beach. If battling crashing waves isn’t your thing, fair enough, splash out $3 and spend the afternoon listening to the sounds of the ocean from your comfy sun lounger. No self-respecting tourist or native of Coogee can live here without having completed the Coogee right-of-passage – the Coogee to Bondi coastal walk. We know that walking isn’t exactly the most adrenaline inducing past time but the fantastic unimpeded views out to sea, the beautiful beaches, sheer cliffs and even the odd cemetery along the way will keep you entertained and will provide a number of top-notch photo ops. The walk takes you from Coogee, through Clovelly, Bronte and Tamarama to Bondi and each beach has its own appeal so take the whole day and stop off as and when you please. If you were to do the whole thing all in one go, it should take you one, maybe two hours at a nice leisurely pace.

Top eats…

It’s always important to know where you can grab delicious and good-value food after a long day lounging on the beach. Coogee Bite is a popular hang out which offers an all day breakfast fit for champions and a regularly updated specials board. The café enjoys great views of the beach and its location means you can enjoy a nice cool breeze as you top up your energy levels with a much-needed coffee or nutritious smoothie. Barzura is open from 7am – 11pm seven days a week allowing you to enjoy a fair-trade coffee as the sun rises, a craft beer in the afternoon and then a cocktail before dinner. Aussie’s know how to produce a world-class breakfast that sets you up for the whole day, and Barzura is no exception. The menu also offers a great range of seafood, curry and pub classics like fish and chips and enormous steaks.

Chances are that its reputation has preceded it and you are already a seasoned Coogee Bay Hotel attendee. If not, the enormous hangout equipped with seven different bars, including Sydney’s biggest beer garden, is the spot to go and grab a drink. The garden offers wonderful views of Coogee Beach, there is live entertainment every night in the Beach Bar and if you are lucky you might chance upon the man or woman of your dreams at their monthly speed dating events held in the Arden Lounge. No need to worry where to go after they call last orders, Selina’s, the biggest nightclub in the Eastern suburbs, is on-site. The Beach Palace Hotel may not be as big, but it is still pretty sizeable and offers a number of great hangouts. There are two restaurants, an excellent sports bar equipped with plasma tv’s and a 30ft projected screen, a cocktail bar and a nightclub. The whole place benefits from amazing views of the beach making it an awesome location for an after-work beer as the sun goes down. If you want something just a little different then the Beer Snobs, who used to run Coogee Café…After Dark, are now running two events, on one the 17th August and 21st September, where you can taste six beers, plus food to match for $30 per person, per event.

Resting your head…

Obviously the Coogee Bay Hotel offers rooms but if you want to get away from the scene of last night’s crime, fortunately there are other options. Coogee Beach House is perfectly located just 30m from the Beach. It has clean, spacious, good value rooms and a comfy, friendly atmosphere. Perfect if you are passing through Sydney and want to experience a laid-back, beachy hostel. Another chilled out hostel is Surfside Coogee Beach. Also located within a hop, skip and a jump from the waves, the majority of rooms in this spot benefit from awesome views – what a thing to wake up to! If the idea of crashing in a backpackers fills you with dread or you want to splash out on something much fancier without breaking the bank – The Dive Hotel is a boutique establishment with modern rooms and great sea views. If you’re looking for a room in a house share Coogee will set you back around $250 per week, for a one-bedroom apartment you’re looking at $380 per week. Two-bedroom apartments sit around the $600 mark. Coogee is perfect for: beach lovers, sun worshippers and those that like to socialise with like minded people. By Amy Baker

Something you probably didn’t know about Coogee The Coogee Bay Shark Arm Case

In 1935, a tiger shark was captured off the coast of Coogee Bay and put on public display at the Coogee Aquarium Baths. Unfortunately, the shark became ill and vomited in front of a large crowd. Pretty unusual in itself, until someone noticed something weird in the water that had come from the shark’s mouth – the left forearm of a human being.

$30

RSON PER PEV NT PER E E

It’s as fascinating as it is disgusting. The arm was identified as James Smith because of his distinctive tattoo. You’re probably thinking that the silly bugger accidentally swam too far from the shore and ended up getting devoured, but you’d be wrong. Smith was a criminal and an examination revealed that the arm had been cut off with a knife. This led to a murder investigation. The police found a man called Reginald William Lloyd Holmes, a fraudster who’d employed Smith to work on insurance scams. The pair then began a racket with Patrick John Brady, a convicted forger, stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from innocent clients. As with any illegal scheme involving a lot of money and more than one person (just watch ‘Diamond Dogs’ or ‘The Ladykillers’) things got a bit hairy, and after drinking one night with Patrick Brady at the Cecil Hotel in Cronulla, Smith was murdered. Insufficient evidence and no body (except the arm) meant no one was convicted of the murder and it still remains a mystery to this day.

taste 6 beers plus food to match FRIDAY 20TH JUL Malty Moods – Dark Brews All Round ● White rabbit dark ale ● Matilda bay dogbolter ● Little Creatures Single Batch ● 4 Pines Stout ● Lord Nelson Old Admiral ● Mountain Goat rare breed

FRIDAY 17TH AUG Holy Hoppy Ales Batman ● 4 Pines pale ● Little Creatures pale ● Alpha pale ● Feral hop hog ● Mountain goat rare breed ● Young henry’s Hop ale

FRIDAY 21ST SEPT

Here Comes The Sunshine ● Redback wheat beer ● White Rabbit White ale ● 4 pines hefewiezen ● Stone & Wood pacific ale ● Wicked elf Witbier ● Doctors Orders Brewing Zephyr Double white ale

COOGEE DIGGERS 9665 4466 CORNER BYRON & CARR STREETS 8

USE ME.

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CHECK THIS OUT - SYDNEY Mid-Week Fun In Sydney Even after a heavy weekend out on the frazzle and the dazzle in Sydney; Monday comes and work becomes a reality. By Monday evening, you are sat with nothing to do wishing it was Friday again, so here are some mid week perks to make the week seem that little bit more bearable. Whether it’s a night with some karaoke with a twist, or a touch of Disco with some funky art on show - Sydney doesn’t sleep during the week to keep you guys entertained. If it’s pampering you need with your best girls (or boys), or a glass or three of the finest wines with some classics playing for your ears. Read on to check out the alternative mid week events the city of Sydney has to offer.

Not Quite Cabaret

Dinner is served, with a side order of piss-your-pants funny short plays and comedy. In conjunction with the Balmain Exchange Hotel, for $34 per person or $28 per person if there are four or more of you, this theatre show, served in a pub, is created to make the people of Balmain and from across Sydney laugh until you go red in the chops. Head down from 8pm on a Thursday to meet the actors, watch the show and divulge into a delicious meal for one up to however many crew you can gather together. It makes the week that little bit easier to cope with and your stomach ache like you have been to the gym (without the hard work).

Exchange Hotel, 94 Beattie Street, Balmain, 2041 (02) 8755 2555 www.notquitecabaret.com

43-49 Goulburn St, Sydney 2000 (02) 9211-2002 www.scruffymurphys.com.au

The Psychic - Jacksons On George

The Wall - World Bar

Head to Jacksons On George, every Wednesday night from 7pm and have your future told for free by the resident psychic whilst you sip on your favourite tipple! They even have their $10 schnitzel offer on too! What could be more fun than being told what your future holds as you sit and compare notes with your mates over a glass of wine or a schooner of beer. Going to events like this can sometimes cost an arm and a leg but Jacksons is really pushing the boat out this month because The Psychic is in town. 176 George Street, Sydney 2000 (02) 9247-2727 www.scruffymurphys.com.au

Tranny Thursdays - Scruffy Murphy’s

If you’re looking for a mid week night out which is completely different, and off-the-wall, Thursdays offer Tranny Karaoke which is a must do whether you live in Sydney or are just staying for a few days. Full of craic, this mid week offer is one not to be missed. Laughing has never been so contagious. Whether you want to party all night, watch live sports in Sydney or if you’re out for some mid week entertainment, Scruffy Murphy’s is a casual hang out and well worth a visit any night of the week. People literally move into this joint and there’s a great community atmosphere.

Sydney’s unique club night for a mad one after a mid week crisis on a Wednesday at work or a sweet day at the beach: art exhibitions upstairs and the only free weekly Dubstep party downstairs. Gulp your drink and have a gander in the Tea Room before bopping downstairs for Disco, Hip-Hop and Dubstep. Winner - who would have thought that music and art were going to collaborate so well? 24 Bayswater Road, Sydney, 2011 (02) 9357-7700 www.theworldbar.com

Music & Wine - The Gazebo

A BBM favourite for the mid week promos. If you love wine and you love music (let’s face it, who doesn’t?) Then the gazebo pulls in the crowds one Wednesday a month from 7pm with a fine selection of tipples and tunes. Wednesday August 22nd sees 90’s pop hit the ears of winos from across Sydney and then again in September (make sure you call and book/find out more info). Grab a group of mates and expect some serious shapes to be thrown from the table. 2 Elizabeth Bay Road, Elizabeth Bay NSW 2011 (02) 9357-5333 www.gazebowinegarden.com.au

Manicures and Martinis - Marlborough Hotel

All girls deserve a self-indulgent afternoon every once and a while. Why not approach the Marlborough Hotel with the number of girls gathering together and a day to suit all, to see what they have to offer. Sip Martinis and get your nails sparkling whilst catching up and giggling and cracking jokes as the time flies by. Exclusively available at three of Sydney’s leading bars - The Belvedere in the heart of Sydney CBD, Cohibar overlooking the breathtaking Darling Harbour and the Marlborough Hotel in quirky Newtown – each one offers a different atmosphere to suit your mood. Perfect for hen parties or just a bit of indulgence. Marlborough Hotel 145 King St Newtown, Sydney 2042  (02) 9519-1222 www.marlboroughhotel.com.au/bars Cohibar 359 Harbourside Darling Harbour, Sydney, 2000 (02) 9281-4440 www.cohibar.com.au/Venue The Belvedere Kent Street Sydney, 2000 (02)9264 1688 www.thebelvederehotel.com.au By Frankie Salt

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Charlotte Pass NSW

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SYDNEY GIGS

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MELBOURNE GIGS

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Comedy In The City

Everyone’s got a favourite comedian; a man or woman who speaks your language, only funnier. There’s not much better, however, than going out and paying $12 to a bunch of local people telling jokes and being just as funny as one person you’d pay five times the amount to see. Melbourne has got some great comedy clubs and bars that host talent of all types. There’s even an improv night if you like comedy on its toes or you just want a go yourself. Read on for our list of the funniest places in Melbourne.

The Last Laugh

Melbourne wouldn’t be as acquainted with comedy had it not been for the historical home of Australian comedy ‘The Last Laugh’ at the Athenaeum Theatre. Established in 1975, ‘The Last Laugh’ has seen many local and international stars of comedy grace its stage and tell a joke or two and had audiences in stitches. From familiars like Dave Hughes and Dave O’Neil to Ben Elton and Jimeoin, it is laughter on tap. Plus if all that laughing has got you hungry why not pick up a dinner and show package and laugh and become fat like Chaplin did? What a perfect way to warm up on a cold winter’s night in the city.

The Big Hoo-Haa

Melbourne’s version of Perth’s very own longest running and most successful improv comedy night. The Big HooHaa is improv comedy at its very, very best. No pretence, no opinions, no being told how the world is. Nope, just simply some props and the first thing that comes in to the performers head. A slightly haphazard evening of comedy but a fine evening of comedy all the same, featuring some of the finest improv comedians from Melbourne, Perth and elsewhere. A manic night that’s perfect if you’re bored of the stand-up on a stage and tell jokes brand of comedy. Friday, 8pm. $12 - $14 115-127 Russell Street, Melbourne (03) 9810 0064 www.hoohaamelbourne.com.au

By Phillip Andreas

Independent cinemas

Tickets: Adults: $18 – Discount Mondays: $9 380 Lygon Street, Carlton (03) 9347 5331 www.cinemanova.com.au

Sun Theatre

With six boutique cinemas that seat just 660 people between them, the Sun Theatre is a luxurious independent cinema that has been running since 1938. The style of the building is art deco and all cinemas have original seats, but don’t let that put you off. Three of the bigger screens have couches and coffee tables at the back that can be hired out. The Sun Theatre shows mainly modern films and you can enjoy a bottle of wine with your friends while watching the movie. There’s a wonderful nostalgic charm about the theatre that will throw you back to the 1930s. Tickets: Adults: $16.50 Bargain Monday & Tuesday: $10 8 Ballarat Street, Yarraville (03) 9362 0337 www.suntheatre.com.au

The Astor Theatre

Another gorgeous art deco cinema in Melbourne is The Astor Theatre. When you walk in, you’re instantly transported back to the era when the theatre was first opened – over 75 years ago. There’s just one auditorium at the Astor, which seats 1150 people before its goldencurtained screen.

Fridays and Saturdays, 8pm. $42/$58 with dinner, less without. The Athenaeum Theatre, 188 Collins Street, Melbourne (03) 9650 1977 thecomedyclub.com.au

There’s also no pre-booking at the Astor, but you’re still guaranteed a seat. On most evenings on the week, the cinema offers a ‘double feature’ price – AKA two films for the price of one. And the cinema makes sure everyone’s tastes are catered for by showing independent, cult, classic and modern films. Tickets: Adult double feature: $15 – ‘Wicked Wednesday’ - $10 Corner Chapel Street & Dandenong Road. St Kilda, (03) 9510 1414 www.astortheatre.net.au

The Rivoli Cinema

The Rivoli Cinema certainly makes going to the movies an experience. The walls are lined with vintage film posters and, yet again, the design of the building is art deco, meaning you get that 1930s ‘golden age’ feel. Rumour has it that The Rivoli makes a really good cup of coffee, and there is also a restaurant within the cinema, but this can be a little pricey. The cinema shows a range of contemporary and independent films Tickets: Adult: $18 200 Camberwell Road, Hawthorn East, 3123 (03) 0055 5400 www.villagecinemas.com.au/Cinemas/Rivoli-Cinemas.htm By Georgina Deacon

Comedy At Felix Bar

Considered to be the funniest suburb in all of Melbourne, St.Kilda, it’s no surprise that Felix Bar is home to one of the best nights of comedy in all of Melbourne. The bar is host to a whole load of TV personalities and comics from home and away (get it?). From Justin Hamilton to Lehmo to Harley Breen, you’re guaranteed a laugh, or at the very least a chuckle, but with cheap drinks and a great atmosphere, you can’t really go wrong on a dreary winter’s Wednesday evening. So pop out and have a giggle. Starts at 8pm, $12, don’t be late. 11 Fitzroy St. St Kilda, Melbourne 0410 329 129 thefelixbar.com.au

Comedy At Spleen

There’s only one word for the size of this place: intimate. This 60 person capacity club maybe small in size but it sure makes up in laughs. Packed every single week, Comedy At Spleen should be a place that welcomes comics no one has heard of and sit in silence while they try to make you laugh, pathetically. However this is not the case, Comedy At Spleen is well known for putting on shows of national and international acts that will actually make you laugh instead of cry. Drinks are cheap and the ambience is electric. Mondays, 8:30pm, free (Gold coin donations appreciated). Spleen Bar, 41 Bourke Street, Melbourne (03) 9650 2400. www.comedyatspleen.com

The Comics Lounge

Comedy six nights a week is the motto of the Comedy Lounge and it caters for every taste. From stand-up to sketch, from sketch to improv, there is a night for everyone’s taste. The doctor is in and he is prescribing a healthy does of laughter and a little bit of the Devil’s water, and with two fully stocked bars this shouldn’t be a problem. Pop in for a pre-night-out spot to get a couple laughs and drinks in before you hit the clubs or make an evening of it, perhaps seeing some of Australia’s newest on the scene on Tuesdays for ‘Young Guns Comedy Night.’ Monday – Friday, 8pm. $15 - $25 26 Errol Street, North Melbourne (03) 9348 9488 www.thecomicslounge.com.au

We all enjoy going to the cinema, but did you know that like record stores, the independent cinemas are struggling? Many across Australia – and the world – have had to close down due to financial problems. Here at BBM, we’ve had a look around Melbourne to find the city’s best boutique cinemas as although we enjoy a few schooners down the pub, we’re also sensitive and artsy and enjoy a good old wanky art-house flick. Enjoy!

Kino Cinema

The Kino Cinema has a wide selection of international and local feature films and documentaries. It is a modern day art-house with plush, comfy chairs and a stylish bar, where you can choose from an array of wine, beers and handmade snacks. The Kino Cinema also has a varied agenda to go with its screenings, from Q and A’s to film festival programs to special film premieres. There are seven state-of-the-art cinemas and they are available to hire out privately. Tickets: Bargin Monday: $7 – Every other day £18.00 Collins Place, 45 Collins Street, Melbourne (03) 9650 2100 www.palacecinemas.com.au/cinemas/kino

Cinema Nova

Melbourne’s largest art-house cinema complex, Cinema Nova opened in 1992 with just two screens, but it has since grown to encompass 15 auditoriums. It shows anything and everything from independent films to the latest blockbusters and all in one of its cosy cinemas. They do a ‘High Tea’ at Nova Deluxe offer, which, for $39 per person, gives you a choice of finger sandwiches, cakes and either Pimms, sparkling wine or tea – just in case you’re missing that summer feeling – before your film.

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Melbourne’s Best Roast Dinners It’s that time of year when it’s cold and dark and going out is much more of an effort than it is in the summertime. Perhaps the thought of a roast dinner is enough to tempt you to leave the house. Your trusty fat foodies at BBM have gone around sampling the best roast dinners in Melbourne. From cheap and tasty to absolutely divine roasts, you’ll soon be gathering your mates together to nip out for an evening for some bevvies and hot food. Keep reading to see if your local is on the list…

The Roast Kitchen

The best roast in Melbourne… or it’s free! Apparently. Aptly named, this little gem in Kew is a winner when it comes to roast dinners. For $19.50 (or $27 if you want to go large) it’s great value too. Beef, pork, lamb, chicken; this place has a range of meats for you to choose from all served with steamed vegetables, roast potatoes, and their very own red wine gravy. There’s also a vegetarian option and you can eat in or take away. And if that wasn’t enough, it has a BYO policy. So, when are you going? 259 High Street, Kew, Victoria, 3010 (03) 9855 1820 www.theroastkitchen.street-directory.com.au

Reddy Roasts

Here’s a thing – have you ever thought about getting a take-away roast dinner? Picture the scene: it’s a cold Monday evening and the rain is lashing at the window. There’s nothing in the fridge and you don’t want to leave the warmth of your home to buy some grub. Reddy Roasts is the answer. The price for a roast dinner ranges from $9.90 (small) to $16.50 (large) and the dinner is delivered to your house with seasonal veg and their special gravy, piping hot. It’s healthy, nutritious fast food (we didn’t think we’d ever say that). There are five different Reddy Roasts locations, so check the website for your local. www.reddyroasts.com.au

The Elephant and Wheelbarrow

From 12pm – 4pm every Sunday you can get a cracking roast dinner at The Elephant and Wheelbarrow. Boasting a traditional English menu, this pub goes all out with its carvery, with the standard British procedure of paying a set price and then filling up your plate with as much food as possible. Each carvery comes with a complimentary half pint of Guinness, house wine or soft drink. We recommend booking ahead with this place as it’s quite popular. 94-96 Bourke Street, Melbourne, 3000 (03) 9639 8444 www.bourkest.elephantandwheelbarrow.com.au

Bridie O’Reilly’s

Bridie O’Reilly’s serve a traditional roast dinner all day on a Sunday, from lunchtime until 9pm, so even if you decide last minute that you want a taste from home and abandon your pasta, you’ll still get served. They offer two different roasts for $20 each and you have a choice of a free pot of James Squire or glass of wine with your food. Bridie O’Reilly’s also have a wide range of beers, other traditional meals and live music – all served up in a cosy atmosphere. 462 Chapel Street, South Yarra (03) 9827 7788 www.chapelst.bridieoreillys.com.au

P.J.O’Brien’s The Penny Black

If you want your roast with some live music, try Penny Black. On a Sunday, they offer their roast of the day for $12 served with all the trimmings. You can sit in the heated beer garden or cosy up by one of their open fires. It’s the perfect place to waste away a lazy Sunday afternoon with your mates and a few drinks. 420 Sydney Road, Brunswick, 3056 (03) 9380 8667 www.thepennyblack.com.au

Much like the P.J.O’Brien’s in Sydney, you get a range of roasts to choose from at the branch at Southbank in Melbourne. The roasts come with all the trimmings here: roast potatoes, seasonal vegetables and gravy. Food is served from midday until late and will only cost you $19.50, leaving you some change leftover for drinks after the meal. If you’re feeling a bit on the wild side and fancy a change, try PJ’s kangaroo fillet from the char grill. Southgate Arts & Leisure Precinct, Southbank, Melbourne (03) 9686 5011 www.pjobriens.com.au/southbank

Middle Park Hotel

The Middle Park Hotel’s Sunday roast is a real treat. If you’ve become a bit tired of the standard roast dinner and want to try something a bit more adventurous, then come here. Their roast is available on Saturdays and Sundays and features rare breeds, including: Charolais & Black Angus beef, Large Black & Tamworth pork, Dorset Downs Salt Marsh lamb, Macleay Valley rabbit and Thirlmere ducks. Sound good? You can get a roast here with pudding for $55, or include a boutique beer or local wine for an extra $15. This one really is worth checking out. 102 Canterbury Road, Middle Park, VIC, 3206 (03) 9690 1958 www.middleparkhotel.com.au

The Yorkshire Hotel

On Sundays, The Yorkshire Hotel serve up a delicious slow-roasted beef brisket that comes with a Yorkshire pudding, cauliflower gratin, peas, bacon and roast Dutch potatoes. If you pay an extra $5, you get a glass of 2007 Shiraz Yarra Valley wine, although pints of Bulmers are just $6.90. The pub also serves mouth-watering local steaks, if you fancy something a little bit different. Booking in advance is essential. 48 Hoddle Street, Abbotsford, VIC, 3067 (03) 9417 3088 www.theyorkshirehotel.com.au

By Georgina Deacon

ALTERNATIVE MID-WEEK MELBOURNE Melbourne is a city of quirky little hangouts and swish bars which entertain the masses every night of the week. Treat every night like a Friday night in Melbourne with this guide to the alternative midweek promotions in the city. Going out in the week doesn’t have to break the bank or necessarily mean a sore head before work. There are opportunities to grab some banging munch whilst forgetting about the stress of the week to music of your choice. Allow yourself a little mini break and hit the lights of Melbourne with these alternative money saving mid-week promos. Enjoy.

The Local Hotel Lucky Coq Speed dating is not for the sad and lonely, it’s for From late morning until 4pm and 7pm until 3am, people who want to meet new people and have fun any day of the week you can find free table tennis, doing so. Queue The Local Hotel, with it’s purpose free pool table, movie nights, BBQ’s, live bands and built Wednesday night Speed Dating evenings for DJs. The Lucky Coq does it right. They have a great 24-34 year olds to chat, mingle and have a gander mix of food menus with the added Brucey bonus at the single talent out there across Melbourne of the $4 pizza and an ever changing bar menu to city. There are usually about 30 people at these keep your mouth watering all night long. Thursday events, which run every week. Established as the nights bring in the ‘Free Range Soul’ where you can best dating night in the city, The Local Hotel makes relight your fire and eat some bargain pizzas with meeting people easier and your weeks go by a little your mates to start the weekend early. If Mondays quicker! in Melbourne are a drag for you and your crew after the weekend, head to the Lucky Coq for some 22-24 Bay Street, Port Melbourne 3207 cheeky board game action whilst the DJs play their (03) 9810 0076 darker side to the masses upstairs. Everyone is a www.thelocalportmelbourne.com.au winner at the Lucky Coq. Cnr Chapel Street & High Street Windsor 3181 Bohemia Cabaret Club (03) 9525 1288 Explore the fine world of Burlesque and Cabaret www.luckycoq.com.au within a spectacular venue. Wednesday evenings are strictly for 18s and over and provide a different dimension in entertainment. Weird and wild, 29th Apartment wednesdays will never be the same with NeoIf you fancy yourself as a bit of a gambler, or you Cabaret to tickle those mid week blues. Dinner and just want a night that’s not your standard Tuesday the show will set you back around $65 with many razzle and dazzle- 29th Apartment will be right up dishes to share with a friend. However, you can your street. They have promotions most nights to view the show without the munch for as little as $20, suit most of Melbourne, however, Tuesday’s are well worth it when you see the amazing talent live brought to you with a twist. With games of Texas and kicking. It is art for arts sake and takes you to Hold ‘Em poker and drinks specials a plenty- grab another World where you leave inhibition behind some mates or meet some new ones down in St and don’t have to pick it up again until you really Kilda. Don’t forget that you can win some pretty have to. sweet cash prizes too! Bonus. 29 Fitzroy St, St Kilda 3182 (03) 9078 8922 www.29thapartment.com.au

226-228 Coventry St, South Melbourne 3205 (03) 9699 6614 www.bohemiacabaretclub.com

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CHECK THIS OUT - MELBOURNE Richmond is a suburb of Melbourne, just 3km south-east of the CBD. Due to its outlook on the Yarra river bend, it’s named after Richmond Hill in London, which isn’t far from BBM’s lovely London office. Richmond has a population of just over 26,000, and is known for its great food, great shopping and great live music, all for decent prices that won’t upset your wallet.

What’s there...

Richmond is notorious for its varied demographics which all mix in with each other. The northern region of the suburb is known as ‘Little Vietnam’ and is based around Victoria Street, which is packed full of Vietnamese restaurants, bakeries and Asian shops. If there’s one thing you can be certain of in this area, it’s that you’ll never go hungry. There’s Thai, Korean, Greek, pies, pizza, tofu, Chinese, burgers – pretty much something to satisfy every empty stomach that walks by. A place regularly frequented by the locals (so you know it’s good) is Rowena Parade Corner Store, just between Richmond Station and Bridge Road. Here their aim is to recreate the community-centred cafes of Europe, and luckily for us, they’ve made amazing food part of that package. The kitchens are open daily from 8am till 3pm, supplying breakfast, snacks, meals and burgers, along with coffee, tea, milkshakes – you get the picture. Why on earth would you have a normal BLT when you can have a BELTAC? – Bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, avocado, cheese. Exactly, you know it makes sense. If you’re not in the mood for a hearty meal, there are plenty of classic Melbourne cafes dotted around. We’re told Demitri’s Feast, Friends of Mine, Old Barber Shop Cafe, New York Tomato and Pillar of Salt are all great spots for a coffee and a catch-up Of course you’ll need something to work up that appetite in the first place, or to burn off all those calories afterwards. Here at BBM we reckon the best kind of exercise is the sort you don’t even realise you’re doing, such as sex, walking miles to get home when you’re drunk and shopping. That last one has Richmond written all over it. All that walking around carrying heavy bags full of bargains is enough to get any metabolism going. Richmond is secondto-none for bargain shopping, and Bridge Road and Swan Street in the south are where you want to be heading for it. All your regular high street stores next to major label factory outlets make this place really popular with tourists, as the prices are unbelievably cheap. Be sure to also check out the upcoming designer clothing stores which are beginning to pop up, as well as the small, one-off boutiques full of treats and trinkets to impress those back home. This purchaser’s paradise is easy to get to – trams 48 and 75 travel down Bridge Street, and tram 70 serves Swan Street. These can be caught from Flinders Street in Melbourne city centre. Easy. In fact tram isn’t the only way you can reach Richmond, it’s also accessible by train too. From Flinders Street Station to Richmond Station it’s about 10 minutes on the Frankston, Cranbourne, Pakenham, Sandringham, Glen Waverley, Alamain, Lilydale and Belgrave lines.

However here at BBM we do appreciate that shopping isn’t everybody’s idea of fun. Just ask my dad every time he gets dragged into Marks & Spencer’s by my mum on a Saturday. So thankfully for those individuals, Richmond has more to offer than just shops. It’s home to Richmond Football Club, nicknamed the Tigers - an Aussie Rules football club which belongs to the Australian Football League. In fact Richmond is one of the most successful teams in Australia – they’ve won 10 AFL Premierships. They’ve got a huge fan base not only in Richmond but also in south-east Melbourne, and their games at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG) regularly attract crowds of 40,000 plus. When the Tigers play fierce rivals, crowds can often swell to around 80,000. You can imagine the kind of atmosphere that is created at one of their games, so we suggest you try and make it down to one if you can. Don your black and yellow and if you have no idea what’s going on, just cheer when everyone else does. It comes as no surprise that before an Aussie Rules match, you’re expected to have a few in the pub first. Quite frankly, it would be rude not to. Head down to the Swan, the Richmond Club Hotel, the Prince Alfred Hotel or the Great Britain to soak up some pre-footy atmosphere.

Other things to do...

Richmond isn’t as green as some of its surrounding Melbourne suburbs, but that is not to say it lacks in parks and gardens for those who want to enjoy the outdoors. Mainly located on the suburb outskirts, they are the perfect places for picnics, sunbathing, reading your book or just relaxing after a hard day of shopping/football/eating/all three. Spots worth checking out are include Barkly Gardens, Burnley Oval and Yarra Park just nearby. For those of you with more arty personalities, there are Richmond’s galleries and exhibitions. Albert Street is where most of these are based, and you may be lucky enough to catch the odd talk or gallery entertainment evenings when you’re there. We recommend Hell Gallery on Railway Place, as they’ve always have something quirky for you to feast your eyes on. If you want to take a little bit of it with you, head to Church Street for the quirky designer furniture and arty artefacts. With such a mix of ethnicities comes a great mix of religions too, and that means churches, synagogues, mosques etc. What we’re trying to get at here is that Richmond has some beautiful buildings dotted around, and for those of you with photography streaks in them, there is some great architecture to be shot. Other buildings worth checking out are Richmond Power Station built in 1891, Richmond Town Hall and The Malthouse.

There is also a great rooftop bar where you can sip your cheap bevies. If you’re looking for somewhere a bit more sophisticated then we point you in the direction of Collection- a cocktail bar on Bridge Road with a great menu. They’ve also got live jazz sessions on a Sunday. They also serve wine, South American themed food and they’ve even got cocktail classes so you can have a go as making their tasty drinks yourself. A few of our other favourite watering holes in Richmond include Scarlett Lounge – a Moroccan themed bar with a dance floor and buzzing atmosphere, 9T4 – the place to go after Corner with live band on weekends and The London – your classic sports tavern with big drinks and big meals.

Accommodation...

Just like pretty much everything else in Richmond, there is also accommodation to suit every budget and every need. For those of you wanting to keep things cheap, hostel rooms start at around $25 per person per night in a shared dorm room. Private rooms are around $40 per person a night. For those wanting to spend a little more, there are places which rent out small apartments for small groups, for short term stays – which cost around $100-$150 a night for singles and couples, and $125-$200 a night for groups of three. Those wanting to stay a little longer in Richmond also have apartments available for them where rent costs around $150-$250 a week. If you’re looking for cheap furniture, don’t forget there is IKEA Richmond just down the road!

Perfect for...

We think Richmond is perfect for bargain hunters, shopaholics, food lovers, Aussie Rules fans, and art/architecture appreciators. By Hannah Kurzawski

Inside

Richmond

Nightlife...

Remember that great live music we mentioned right at the start? Well Richmond is notorious for it. It’s said that Richmond has a pub on every corner, and we reckon that is pretty much the case! If you’ve been in Melbourne for a while, we are more than certain that will have already heard of the Corner Hotel. If you haven’t, then we suggest you come out from underneath that rock. Located on Swan Street, if a band is worth seeing, they will be playing at the Corner. They’ve got great live music, from the up and coming bands who are just on the brink of making it big, and the ones who already have.

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Digger

Charles St

CAIRNS

CHECK THIS OUT - CAIRNS ESPLANADE

Grove St

Gatton St

Mcleod St

Upward St Minnie St

MALL

Spence St

Hartley St

St f r a Wh

ESPLANADE

Sheilds

Grafton St

SHOPPING CENTRE

Bunda St

Alpin St

Abbot St

Florence St Lake St

Sheridan St

Water St

Mulgrave Rd

CAIRNS HARBOUR

THE PIER

REEF TRIP DEPARTURES

Kenny St

Palm Cove Cairns is the perfect base for exploring some of the most beautiful parts of Queensland. From Port Douglas, to The Daintree Rainforest, and the Great Barrier Reef there are a multitude of places to explore and Palm Cove is another must see whilst visiting Cairns. Situated only 25 minutes north of Cairns City, Palm Cove offers a relaxed village lifestyle and is perfect if you’ve been partying a little too hard and need to unwind.

Seeing as Cairns has a very tropical climate with wet summers, and mild dry winters, the best time of year to visit is between June and October, when the temperatures stay in the mid-to-high 20s. Whilst visiting Palm Cove you’ll notice the abundant wildlife on show. From lizards, to frogs, butterflies, and tons of native birds, including the beautifully colourful Rainbow Lorikeets, Kookaburras, Cockatoos, Doves, Sunbirds, and finches, they really do add to the element of paradise. When people travel to Palm Cove they’ve often only got sun, sea and sand on their mind, but Palm Cove does have an interesting history. It is believed that Captain Cook and his merry men made a brief stop in Palm Cove to replenish their water supply in Sweet Creek, which runs between Angsana Resort and the site for the new Royal Palm Cove before running his ship aground at Cape Tribulation. It is also marked in history that G.E. Dalrymple’s Northeast Coast Expedition of 1873 when Sub Insp. F. Thompson, Sub Insp. R. Johnstone and Walter Hill touched base on the sandy shores of Palm Cove they were not welcomed by friendly locals, in fact the indigenous people opened a brutal attack on the G.E. Dalrymple’s crew which ultimately led to one of the largest documented beachfront invasions in Australian history.

So now we’ve educated you, back to the more lighthearted stuff… At Palm Cove you’ll be presented by beautiful beaches and it’s in a great location in terms of easy access to great attractions. From Palm Cove you can easily partake in day trips to the Great Barrier Reef, Cape Tribulation and The Daintree Rainforest. If you’re up for some self-conducted adventure, you can also take a paddle-boat from Palm Cove Jetty and paddle around Double Island. Whilst paddling around, it’s quite possible to spot a few dolphins, colourful marine life, or maybe even a turtle or two. Palm Cove Jetty is also a very popular angling spot where you can catch mackerel, Giant Trevally and sharks. Kite surfing is also becoming increasingly popular in Palm Cove so why not give it a go whilst you’re there. If wining and dining’s more your thing, then Palm Cove is the place for you. There are a plethora of restaurants situated along Williams Esplanade. From fine dining to more casual places to have a bite to eat, Palm Cove has something to suit all desires and budgets.

Here you can enjoy beachside dining at its best whilst over looking the Coral Sea. If you’re enthusiastic about Pizza then make sure you check out Il Forno Restaurant & Pizzeria. It’s a hit with the locals and is often referred to as the best pizza in Northern Queensland, so make sure you book in advance. Casmar Cafe Bar is also a good one to check out, as it has a great balcony and a fairly reasonably priced menu. Accommodation in Palm Cove ranges from budget to full five star and beach fronted. Most accommodation is situated along the Esplanade, or just a short walk from the beach. A point of note about Palm Cove is that there are also an abundance of spas, making it the perfect place to get away for a weekend to. Palm Cove is only a stones throw from Cairns City and you can get there by bus from the city or you could hire a car. Either way there’s something to suit every budget for a relaxing weekend away at this little Queensland haven.

By Fanny Frangipani

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Reggae Town

Cairns are you ready? It’s that time of year again! Oh yes, Oh yes, get your Reggae Skank on and get on down to the 10th anniversary in the Kuranda Amphitheatre where it all began. On September 1st, just 27kms northwest of the beautiful city of Cairns, Reggaetown comes alive with the riddim and the soul of the rainforest and the world heritage areas of Barron Falls National Park. Festivals don’t win the ‘2010 TimeOut award for Best Festival’ for nothing now! The Amphitheatre, set 300m altitude in the village of Kurunda, will be home to a line-up Bob Marley would have been proud of. Check out the line-up BBM has so far managed to get their nosey noses into:

BLUE KING BROWN - KATCHAFIRE (NZ) - GRAMPS MORGAN (JAMAICA) - RIZE OF THE MORNING STAR (PNG) - BOBBY ALU - ZENNITH – J MO & THE 3 BEANS 5 - SISTA ITATIONS - TUFF TUMAS - KANAKA Due to popular demand at last year’s booming Reggaetown, many artists will be returning much to your listening pleasure. Combine this with some even bigger acts along with the sound of love and soul filling the air, sunshine and blissful crowds to keep you company- Reggae Town is not far from Reggae heaven.

BLUE KING BROWN are back in town where they belong after a very successful year so far playing at festivals across the country. Australia’s very own unique and premier 8 piece live urban roots crew, Blue King Brown are ready to take the crowd to another level. Lead by the truly wonderful, inspiring and relentless Natalie Pa’apa’a, these guys are to be seen and experienced before you can even begin to imagine the power they have on stage. Due to their powerfully written lyrics, movement and vocals, they take their sounds from Dancehall to Roots, from Rock & Afro Groove.

KATCHAFIRE since the release of their platinum selling, fourth studio album ‘On The Road Again’, Katchafire have hit the Reggae scene and have never looked back. Over the last 10 years, this New Zealand Marley tribute band has given the magic touch of Reggae to thousands of fans as they tour their talents across the globe. Whilst on the opposite side of the world, they were nominated Best International Band at the British Reggae Music Awards in the UK. Returning to Australia already for the second time in 2012, Reggae Town is proudly making room for the big band with a lot of soul and passion. GRAMPS MORGAN

will be playing out to the masses at the festival, in a very special debut Australian appearance. Travelling all the way from Jamaica, The release of Gramps’ first album proceeded with performances on a string of insanely popular and high status tours with John Legend (Evolver), India Arie (Soulbird) and Buju Banton (Rasta’s Got Soul). Continuing above and beyond, Gramps also gained Grammy status with ‘Try Life’ on Banton’s 2010 ‘Reggae Album of the Year’ Before The Dawn as co-producer. Make way for this multi-million-follower artist, Reggae Town is pumped for him to take to the stage. Where music meets, music fuses and music speaks, this festival has been feeding the souls of Australia and beyond since 1995. Creating a loyal following, Reggaetown offers something that other festivals just do not. Tropical rainforests, powerful messages, true Reggae music and a crowd that cares for one another with one message. One Love. Tickets at www.ticketscairns.com.au, www.ticketlink.com.au and Shiva Moon and Kurunda Video Shop for $65 +booking fee (more available on the door)

WIN TICKETS Thanks to our friends at Reggaetown we’ve got a doubles passes to give away to this amazing festival held in Tropical North Queensland. To be in with a chance of winning the tickets all you need to do is send us an email or send us a message on our facebook wall telling us where the band Katchafire are from. a) UK b) New Zealand c) Jamaica Send your entries along with your full name, date of birth and contact phone number to competitions@bbmlive.com or post your answer on our facebook wall http://www.facebook.com/BBMMagazine See http://www.facebook.com/reggaetownfestival for full event term and conditions.

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HITTING THE ROAD from BYRON BAY to the Gold Coast Australia is a travelers dream. With no end of remarkable coastlines, breathtaking sunsets and roads that seem to lead to nowhere but beautiful greenery and quaint towns, the East Coast is there to be enjoyed in whatever form you wish. There are several different ways to travel the East Coast, with a favourite of BBM’s being the traditional and uber cool camper van (much to do with the freedom and free beds where ever you may land your wheels). There is the Greyhound bus service which you can pick and choose from to get from town to town, or of course you can fly from one coastal airport to the next. From Byron Bay, to Nimbin, and the Gold Coast, the world is your oyster and the choices of things to do; infinite. The thrill is in the ride and you will find that this guide to the East Coast will take you from place to place covering the best accommodation, bars, restaurants and activities. It’s just up to you how long you want the journey to last, all you need know is that the memories will last a lifetime.

BYRON bay

Byron bay can be found in the North East corner of New South Wales tucked into a magic part of the coastline where both tourists and forever residing hippies mix and play music as the sun sets across the horizon. This small town is the place where the term ‘chilling’ was born, creating a feeling and atmosphere that not many other places in Australia seem to have. The views from the hills of Byron are breathtaking and the beaches are incredible. It really is somewhere to soak up the sun and chill out until the cows come home. With only a small population of less than 5,000 - this place really does suck you in with its quirky and eccentric charm. There are plenty of things to do around Byron; there’s a mix of shops, bars, clubs and tour companies you can go to if you’re wanting to go a little further and be a little livelier. The drumming circle on the beach front at sunset everyday is something you have to wander down to and check out whilst you’re there. Byron beaches and surf are legendary across Australia and it seems to be on everyone’s lists of places to go on the East Coast. There’s also loads of live music and buskers around town, which always attract the crowds on

an early evening before people hit the bars. With perfect scenery for sky-divers, amazing surf and wonderful beaches, Byron Bay doesn’t have to sell itself, most people just do not want to leave once they have arrived.

1 Skinners Shoot Road Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02) 6685 7700 www.nomadshostels.com/arts-factory/

Food Balcony Bar & Restaurant Balcony bar and restaurant know how to make you smile. With a menu to die for and a selection of offers throughout the day, life is sweet at Balcony. During the week in the late afternoon, they have half price tapas for you and your mates to share. Along with $5 beers and Coronas to add, explore the oldest building in Byron and look out onto the streets and seafront of Byron with a fresh summer breeze. During the winter months, there is a wonderful fire to snuggle up next to.

What is there in Byron? Byron bay is so laid back, you would be surprised that even the police are up early enough for the sunrise. However, the authorities around the bay can be a little tight and vigilant with campers parked up at the side of the road. To avoid hefty fines, make sure you park up at one of the hostels, for a budget price, hostels allow you to use their facilities but park and sleep in their car park area. Perfect if you want your own space or don’t want to pay a dorm fee when you have already paid for your beloved camper van. If you want to park the van outside of Byron and catch a bus in, there are certain routes you can take but it is better to pay to park at the hostels and catch the free courtesy buses which take you in and out of Byron. It is worth being close to everything in the centre and being able to walk everywhere if you are out to have a drink at night. For instance, Bungalow has some great guest houses, however you then have to commute in and out of Byron Bay centre if you wish to do something in the day and night. In the centre of Byron Bay there are plenty of accommodating budget places to place that sleepy head. There are hundreds of great food outlets and bars/clubs. It is a myth for people to say that there isn’t much to do during the day here in Byron, take to the skies, learn a new skill or wander to see the wonderful lighthouse and the amazing views, which surround it.

Accommodation

7/3 Lawson Street Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02)6680 9666 www.balcony.com.au Byron Beach Cafe Nomads Byron

Nomads in Byron is more of a flashpackers haven. The great thing about this place is the choice of different room to choose from to suit your budget. There is a cinema lounge, girls only dorms and also a daily walk with the Nomads crew up to the Byron Bay lighthouse, which is a must do whilst you are in Byron. The views are amazing and it is worth the climb to the top.

1 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 (02) 6680 7966 www.nomadsbyronbay.com  Cape Lodge

Arts Factory

The Arts Factory is a dream hang out and is Byron Bay through and through. You can choose from all different types of accommodation within the hostel’s grounds. The facilities here provide everything you and your mates would need for a few days whilst visiting the Byron Bay vibe. If you have a camper hired, you can pay $10 to park your van outside (keeps the police at bay) - then you can sleep in your van and use all of the great facilities here on offer. There are classes here throughout the day where you can do yoga, play the didgeridoo and you can even use the Art Factory’s very own recording studio.

78 Bangalow Road Byron Bay NSW 2481 (02) 6685 6445 www.capebyronlodge.com

Cape Lodge Hostel will make your traveling as stress free as possible. They go with the Byron flow, offering free courtesy buses to pick up and drop off around Byron as you arrive until you leave. They also offer free pancake breakfasts and WIFI which makes life of course a lot easier when trying to keep in contacts with friends and family back home. You can join in on the sunrise tour to the lighthouse if you are feeling energetic in the mornings after some delicious pancakes and there are many different types of dorms or private rooms to choose from.

Byron beach cafe is open from sunrise til late, serving hungry Byron mouths amazing food around the clock. Whether it’s an early breakfast, a late brunch, a chilled out lunch or a celebratory dinner- the Beach Cafe’s menu will accommodate. This place isn’t the cheapest but the beach and mountain views are worth every penny.

Clarkes Beach, Lawson Street  Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02) 6685 8400 www.byronbeachcafe.com.au

Bars Cheeky Monkey’s

Cheeky Monkey’s is a restaurant/bar/party place for all kinds of Byron Bay lovers. Each night has a different feel to it, whether it’s a Mexican themed night or a wet t-shirt competition- Cheeky’s is always packed with people wanting to have a laugh and get a little crazy. Their menu suits the lower budget and often includes a free ticket to the party later that night. Look out for some great happy hour offers.

115 Jonson Street  Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02) 6685 5886 www.cheekymonkeys.com.au

SURFERS SURFERS PARADISE PARADISE •• GOLD GOLD COAST COAST

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS Right in the centre of town Next to the bus transit centre One block to the beach, shops & clubs FREE resort facilities : tropical pool, spa, tennis & squash 24 hour internet cafe plus Wi-Fi, bar, restaurant, tour desk & bottleshop

$5 DISCOUNT

REF: BBM

Stay for 2 nights & get a $5 discount. Present this page on check-in. New bookings only (4-6 bed dorms). Valid to 31 December 2012.

BOOK NOW! 1800 074 393 Cnr. Beach Road & Surfers Paradise Blvd

Email res@islander.com.au www.islander.com.au/backpackers

Find us on Facebook Islander Backpackers Resort

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HITTING THE ROAD Cocomangas

Progressive House in the ears and cocktails in a jam jar? Welcome to Cocomangas. Whilst downstairs hosts top 40 hits and commercial music, upstairs lets you dance the night away to some nice House whilst sipping on your favourite cocktail out of a Cocomangas signature jam jar. Two floors, two DJs, twice as much fun.

32 Jonson Street  Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02) 6685 8493

La La Land

La La Land feels like home. The Byron Bay British community love La La Land for its chilled out vibe and damn good music. At the weekend this place gets packed with friendly people just wanting to dance and smile. For the latest House and Tech, find La La Land and lose yourself.

6 Lawson Street  Byron Bay, NSW 2481  (02) 6680 7070  www.lalalandbyronbay.com.au

Activities Sky Dive Byron Bay

Sky Dive Byron Bay has been the best of the best for seeing the Bay from above and all its glory. With free pick-ups provided from Ballina, Gold Coast, Brisbane etc., you can see why people come from far and wide to fall 14,000 over this breathtaking town. Feel the thrill of a sixty-second free fall over the most Easterly point of Australia - it’s the chance of a lifetime and something you will never forget.

Byron Bay, NSW 2481 1800 800 840 www.skydivebyronbay.com Byron Bay Ballooning

Byron Bay Ballooning allows you to see Byron in a way it is supposed to be seen. Floating around in a huge balloon isn’t an everyday occurrence, however, for something completely different and a day out which is like no other… take to the skies.

1 Old Brunswick Road Byron Bay NSW 2481 1300 889 660 www.byronbayballooning.com.au

Byron Bay Circus Act Training Classes

Byron Bay is full to the brim with eccentric and very interesting things to do which set the town aside from the rest of Australia. Head to Circus Arts for classes for kids to adults in circus acts, aerial, such as trapeze amongst other great opportunities to learn a new skill. This place aids people in strength, skill and most of all; allows you to have fun whilst doing something worthwhile.

Byron Entertainment Centre 17 Centennial Circuit Byron Bay, NSW 2481 (02) 6685 6566 www.circusarts.com.au/byron

NIMbin  The town of Nimbin is hidden away in the sub-tropical hills of the most Easterly point of an extinct volcano in the rainbow region of Northern New South Wales. Home to the Mardi-Grass, Nimbin is known as the ‘Alternative Capital of Australia’ for a reason- a ‘must-do’ place for all East Coast travellers. There is so much history and culture where a rich multi-cultural diversity lives and breaths a welcoming vibe to all those who come to check out Nimbin’s arts and healing community. With the streets filled with musicians, some people have stated that Nimbin is the drug capital of Australia and a ‘social experiment town’ which is fuelled by eccentrics, hippies and drug taking residents. However, this town is a great place to visit for the day, with plenty of cafes and restaurants and beautiful surroundings. Many people come to Nimbin on day tour bus trips from Byron Bay. This gives you a full day here, which a lot of people say is perfect for a small town such as this. However, some people get to Nimbin, and never want to leave. Whichever type of person you are, here is a list of the best bits of Nimbin town.

Tours of Nimbin

Accommodation Granny’s Nimbin

Since 1973, Granny’s has provided people in the area with somewhere to stay where they feel at home. There is a great opportunity for some creek side camping for just $15 per person, or you can stay in the dorms for the usual $25. With the cafes, art galleries and museum just around the corners, Granny’s is definitely young at heart.

112 Cullen St, Nimbin 2481 (02) 66891333 www.nimbingrannysfarm.com

the Gold Coast The Gold Coast is famous for many reasons such as the sun, the beaches, the surf, the paradise and of course… the nightlife! The Gold Coast is the kind of place that can be alive and kicking with things to do 24/7, especially when it comes to Surfers Paradise. Situated centrally on the East Coast of Australia - there are countless things to do in the Gold Coast City and other surrounding suburbs. There is so much to do around Surfers Paradise and the other beach suburbs, with 57 kilometres (35 miles) of coastline - the array of beaches to choose from means that there is somewhere new to explore every moment. Mermaid beach for instance is suited to the more chilled resident, as it is far quieter and more relaxed, yet still providing a number of things to do with a great café culture (Just have a wonder down the Gold Coast Hwy/beaches to come across the different suburbs). However if that’s not your cup of tea, then perhaps visit Broadbeach. Broadbeach is slightly more of a party town with a great selection of things to do in the week, after work or quirky bars to visit at the weekend. The selection of surf clubs serving cold beer and munch after a day at the beach, surfing or the office, makes this place really feel like a holiday joint everyday of the week. When looking for things to do in the Gold Coast suburbs, Currumbin and Main Beach are hugely popular for other tourist attractions and beautiful sands. The Currumbin Wildlife Park provides a fun day out where you can meet and greet native Australian wildlife and even wine and dine whilst watching animal shows with a live performance at the Yanguwah experience. Currumbin has a wonderfully natural side where you can visit rock pools and waterfalls to bask in the sun. The Gold Coast has a massive selection of days out such as the highest number of entertainment activities in the southern hemisphere include family friendly activities such Sea World, Movie World, Dreamworld, Wet and Wild as well as smaller day activities for the more adventures such as Whale Watching, Zorbing, Jet Boating and Jet Ski Safaris and fishing trips. If you’re looking for activities and things to do in the evening then why not say hello to the famous Meter Maids in Surfers Paradise while on a bar crawl or head to the Broadbeach bars for a slightly different evening experience. The Gold Coast isn’t just about the blonde hair and the buffed up bodies, there are some real natural breathtaking places to visit that sometimes are missed by people because of the big nights out to be had. Take a look at our ‘Things to do’ below, the selection for the Gold Coast is endless.

Activities in the Gold Coast Australia is full to the brim with things to do. The Gold Coast is famous for its theme parks, ocean trips, wildlife centers and crazy day trips out. Here is BBM’s favourite activities to make your belly sore from laughing too hard and your muscles ache from getting all active. Go visit your favourite critters or spend the day at sea watching the ocean around you!

Whales in Paradise

Whale watching is something which has to be done whilst you are visiting or living in the Gold Coast. You are 100% guaranteed to see whales in their natural habitat with this company who are the longest running of their kind in the Gold Coast. With the only boat that allows you to see the whales from water level, this company do a great job and no one is better.

Whales in Paradise  Cruises Depart:  Wharf Behind VIBE Hotel/TITANIUM Bar 42 Ferny Ave, Surfers Paradise,  Gold Coast (07) 5538 2111 www.whalesinparadise.com.au

Renting Houses & Hostel Prices

48 Parkway Drive Ewingsdale, Nimbin 2481 0438 269 076 www.grasshoppers.com.au

When staying in the Gold Coast, the list of hostels and places to rent are endless. If you are going to be working/holidaying and plan to stay in the area for longer, a rental place would be much more suitable. For $250-$350 p.w, you can get a sweet one or two bed apartment for you and your mate out in Broadbeach. If you want to live the true paradise life, you would be looking at prices of around $450 for a two-bed pad. Obviously it’s the same with every city, the closer you are to the centre, the more dollar it will cost you. However, the best thing about the GC is that you can be living on the beach for cheap if you just take a step out of Surfer’s Paradise up the coast a little. Hostels range from $20-$30 a night, again the more expensive are in the heart of surfers, but the quality of the hostels across the Gold Coast is at a high standard as there is so much competition. Check out the great BBM listings of accommodation in the Gold Coast section www.bbmlive.com/goldcoast-accommodation/gold-coast-backpacker-hostels.html

Happy Coach

Taxi/Bus services

Grasshoppers Tours

Grasshoppers give you the opportunity to go visit Nimbin just for the day. With a 10am pick up from Byron Bay along the beautiful mountainous route into Nimbin for an hour or so. After walking through the town, chatting to the locals, maybe tasting the local ‘goods’ head to the BBQ lunch followed by an uber relaxing afternoon at the rainforests and waterfalls returning to Byron at 6pm

Happy Coach does exactly what it says on the tin- this is a happy tour from Byron Bay to Nimbin, via Minyon Falls and World Heritage listed Nightcap National Park. All in a very comfy coach with chill out music and a fun and informative guide. This tour also includes the Sunday craft markets at The Channon, Bangalow and Nimbin when available, which are all worth a good look. Catch this tour everyday from Byron at around 10am and return for 5pm. This tour should suit everyone’s budget at $25- sounds a sweet deal, and it is!

1300 79 44 22 www.happycoach.com.au

Due to the Gold Coast being quite spread out across the suburbs, luckily they have a great bus service in use. The buses aren’t cheap with most tickets costing around $3 to get from Broadbeach to various sides of the city, it usually works out cheaper for the four of you to hop into a cab with a meter. However, buses do run frequently across the whole Gold Coast Highway making it easy to get to your mates or to work or to the pub in a jiffy.

Taxi contact: For Gold Coast cabs: 131 008 Outside of Gold Coast +61 755 881234 Mobile Phone Callers: 5588 1234 (Vodafone and 3) or download their app for a free quick sharp booking from iTunes. Either way travelling from Byron Bay through Nimbin and up to the Gold Coast will not only be an experience and a half, it will make for ever lasting memories from the trip of a life time. By Frankie Salt

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GOLD COAST We ask Dean Cooper from The Islander a few questions about the best bits in the Gold Coast. Where can you get the best breakfast in Gold Coast/Surfers and what’s your order? Always hard to beat the views from one of the Surf Life Saving Clubs on the beach which all do a cracking “Big Aussie Breakfast”

What’s the main attraction/activity a visitor must do in the Gold Coast? Hard to bring back to a single item really, but a few that come to mind is Observation deck at Q1, Jetboating ride through the Broadwater and visit our heritage rain forest and waterfalls in the hinterland.

What’s your main reason for living and working in the Gold Coast? Has a vast array of natural beauty incorporating both beach and hinterland characteristics, laid back lifestyle and although now has a population of 500’000 people, still has a fantastic little village feel in certain suburbs.

Byron Bay to the Gold Coast the Scenic Route Byron Bay - Nightcap National Park - 1 hour 20 - 78km Nightcap National Park - Nimbin - 50 mins - 37km Nimbin - Corrumbin - 1 hour 20 mins - 57.3km Corrumbin - Mermaid Waters - 20 mins - 12km Mermaid Waters - Broadbeach - 5 mins - 2.9km Broadbeach - Surfers Paradise - 8 mins - 3.9km Surfers Paradise - Main Beach - 10 mins - 4.2km Total Estimated Time - 4 hr 13 min Got a road trip to share?

Get involved and send your stories and pics to reporters@what-media.com

Images (above) thanks to www.ozball.com.au

MOJOSurf seems too good to be true. But it really is just the perfect lifestyle where you learn to surf and spend your days with like-minded people who want to learn a new skill. The beautiful beaches, the wonderful teachers and the chilled out people who are taught there make this place heaven. If you are going to learn to surf anywhere in the world, Byron Bay has to be the place to do it. This beautiful town screams surf culture, and is so laid back you may as well be horizontal the whole time you stay here. That in mind, surfing is a way to get fit, work hard but have fun at the same time.

MOJOSurf Academy

Everyone has to start somewhere, but here, you can go the full surfing path and learn to be a fully accredited surf instructor with MOJOSurf’s instructor academy. At the academy you can chose to learn to surf and increase your fitness dramatically on the one-month course. If you decide to take the two-month course and here, then you will learn surf at a higher degree, also really getting to be aware of the ocean and becoming an absolute natural whilst all come hand in hand whilst on the course. If you wish to go the full way- enter the three-month course where you can learn to instruct and be at one with the ocean!

Surf and Stays- helps you to find your Mojo

With surf and stay at Spot X, all you have to do is get yourself down to Byron Bay and get stuck in. As long as you have your own transport planned. The prices include your surf lessons, equipment hire, accommodation, meals and the whole shebang! The instructors will make you feel at ease in the water and will make sure you learn at the right pace and make the most out of your lessons.

Spot X - the ‘learn to surf’ camp with accommodation on site

At Spot X, everything is taken care of. Whether you would prefer to live the lifestyle of dreams on a backpacker budget or splash out and float around a beach chalet of your own, either way- you are in for a treat with Spot X. The onsite surf school, MOJOSurf allows you to rent whatever you may need so there are no previous plans needed to be made; just turn up with a smile and an open mind to learning. Surfboards, bikes and kayaks are easily accessible for hire. Whether you want to have everything planned for you or do it yourself and choose your schedule, Spot X is laid back and doesn’t have to be an all-inclusive package if you prefer to be more independent. Byron Bay was made for the surf, chill out time, which you and your mates will love. Whether you’re travelling south, north, or you want to try your hand at a couple of hours with an instructor, MOJOSurf offer a rewarding and exhilarating experience. There are so many different packages to suit, from one lesson to 5,7,12 day courses onto the weekend escapes and the academy months you can spend learning to be a pro. MOJOSurf was created by friends, for friends. Making it one of the most appealing surf schools in the country. Also, tours and lessons operate from Sydney to Byron Bay via Crescent Head and Arrawarra (SpotX) everyday of the week. Check out their website at http://www.mojosurf.com/, or pop in and have a chat with the crew down there 2/9 MARVELL ST BYRON BAY 2481 NSW AUSTRALIA. There’s always someone to have a chat to on the phone too :1800 113 044

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BBM REPORT

a guide to Agricultural Work in australia Unsurprisingly, battling some of Australia’s most deadly creepy crawlies and slithery suckers to harvest fruit and vegetables isn’t everybody’s cup of tea. However, if you want to spend more than one year down under, you will need to complete three months seasonal work in some of the most remote regions of the country. It’s not all doom and gloom. Farm work can be fun, challenging and you are likely to make some life long friends who you can spend the next ten years reminiscing about your days spent bent over strawberry plants in the blazing sunshine. Although your days will consist of rising before dawn, sweating it out in 40 degree heat and removing thorns from your delicate hands, evenings are spent with other working holiday makers with similar interests who know how to demolish a few beers with the best of them. As the majority of farms are located in the arse-end-of-nowhere, miles from the nearest big city and all of its drinking establishments, you are likely to save a substantial amount of mullah that can fund the next leg of your trip. Plus, the crowing glory, a shiny sparkly, second year working visa which allows you to keep the dream alive and real life at bay for at least another year.

A few words of warning…

Unfortunately folks – here comes the scary part. There are people out there looking to take advantage of your kind souls and the fact that you are desperate to stay in Australia. This is a given, wherever you are on God’s green earth there are people like this so don’t be a sucker – use your head and don’t let anything like this happen to you. Here are some stories from fellow travellers… English working holiday maker, Will told us about his misfortune; ”My mate and I were broke and badly in need of money. We called a guy that we found online who said that he could offer us work and a roof over our head. We hopped on a bus only to arrive to what can only be described as a hell-hole. The accommodation was nothing more than a shell of a house, there were filthy chairs, cockroaches running about, stained mattresses that looked like they had been salvaged from a dump. It was horrific. We were tired and weren’t thinking straight and somehow he managed to get us to hand over our last pennies as a deposit for the accommodation. There was no work but we had to wait around on the off chance because we needed some money to get out of there. It was the worst experience I had ever had on my travels”. Pheobe, another backpacker told us her opinion on the system and how her experiences meant that she opted to return to the UK. “Basically, I think it’s a joke that it’s a legal binding obligation that you serve the country by completing three months regional work to extend your visa by a year and then you have to pay for the extension on top of this. There are no regulations in place to protect people which just opens you up to being ripped off. It’s the perfect opportunity for people to take the piss, pay nothing and expect you to work like a dog…or even worse, not even bother to get you a job! I hated it, packed it in after three weeks and enjoyed the rest of my time in Australia before returning to London – I don’t regret it one bit. I couldn’t have done three months”. Many fall in to the trap of thinking that because they are heading to a backpackers hostel that the staff are trustworthy. Sadly, this is not always the case. German working holiday maker Max told us what happened to him in Queensland: “We arrived at the hostel and there were work boots everywhere and people returning from days on farms – we thought – this is great, there must be lots of work for everyone. We happily handed over a months deposit and then basically sat back and waited. It was well over a week before we even got one days work and then there was nothing for another week. We were broke, twiddling our thumbs and had no option but to stay and hope that they finally took pity on us. I would advise people to never hand over more than a week’s deposit. Looking back, I feel stupid and really angry about the whole thing”.

It’s not all doom and gloom…

Now it’s quite possible that we have filled you with dread and now even the sheer mention of farm work will send you flying to the hills screaming like some kind of possessed banshee fleeing from Hitler. The fact of the matter is that the people whose stories I told above were unlucky – hundreds of thousands of working holiday makers have worked their way through the system, found farms where the people welcome them like they are family and where they happily spend three months and even more, earning money, experiencing nature and earning their visas. You can do the same if you go through the right channels. Here’s a few happier stories to help ease those nightmares of murderous tractor drivers, hostel owners intent on milking you dry and spiders the size of dinner plates…

Betty, who is now happily living in Bondi after working to receive her work visa, told us how things went for her and why her experience was so enjoyable: “I organised my farm work through a company called Outbackpackers. I went to a place called Coonabarabran which was eight hours from Sydney. There were 12 of us and we spent a week learning cattle skills, driving tractors, bikes and large farm utes. We did so much; horse riding, mustering cattle – it was a tough week but it gave us real experience of what it was like being a Jackaroo/ Jillaroo. I was then shipped off to work at a 250,000 acre cattle station in Queensland to work as a Pommie Jillaroo mustering, branding and weaning cattle. It was the most amazing experience, even if I did share my cottage with frogs and mice! It was tough and painful at times but there were also a lot of laughs and many news friends…including some particularly cute baby cows!” Stephanie from Sweden told us about her experiences with WWOOFING. “I found out about the program through friends at work in Sydney. I have, and always will be, a city girl but they raved about it so much that when I decided that I would like to stay in Australia, I decided to do it to get my second working holiday visa. My sister and I started our WWOOFING experience in Queensland in a beautiful farm in Cooroy. We stayed with a lovely lady named Sandra for two weeks, who welcomed us into her home and treated us like we were one of her own. After that we went to Rockhampton, Coolum Beach, Townsville, the Atherton Tablelands and we ended our journey north of Cairns in the Daintree Rainforest. We selected each farm carefully out of the WWOOFING book to maximise our experience and increase our understanding of the Australian culture and its people. During our three-month adventure we did many different jobs ranging from cow mustering in Rockhampton to weeding in Townsville. In each of these wonderful places we met amazing people, many of which we are still in touch with. WWOOFING was a fantastic experience for us because we were completely out of our element, miles away from any kind of comfort zone! During WWOOFING we saw wild life we didn’t even know existed and spoke to people who we would never otherwise have got the chance to meet. I couldn’t recommend it higher”.

The ATEC are supporting their argument with the fact that previous research has indicated that more than 11 per cent of those who have had working holiday visas previously would return if they could. Based on this fact alone, Australia could expect a boost of £275 million to their GDP over 10 years. Surely it’s a no-brainer. Come on Dept. of Immigration – get your asses in gear!

Top tips…

Follow these tips and hopefully your experience will be nothing but positive: Your strongest weapon in the search for reliable and reasonably paid work is word-of-mouth. If you want to make sure that you aren’t ripped off by some cane-wielding maniac intent on milking backpackers for every last drop of energy, go to the places which you have heard good things about. There are hundreds of reputable farms which are grateful for the extra help provided by the backpacker army who will be more than happy to house you in liveable accommodation and pay you what you deserve. Keep your ear to the ground and listen to the advice of others. It’s all about the research – the Internet is a powerful thing my friends. If you think you have landed yourself some regional work but haven’t yet booked your bus ticket to get there, get online and see what it says on the world wide web about your potential employers. There are forums, Facebook groups and websites dedicated to this type of thing so put those research skills you honed at university to work and save yourselves potential bother. Always ask for hourly paid work if possible. Contract work is all very well but you may be told rates of pay according to what the most seasoned worker can pick. In reality and especially at the beginning of your job, you may not be able to pick enough to keep your head above water. Hourly rates are the way to go. Don’t try and cheat the system. Although it is easy to be tempted by the online ads which claim to provide you with the documentation needed to bag a second visa once you hand over your cash, the majority are scams and the visa-granting authorities aren’t idiots. If they discover that you have tried to get your second visa by illegal means, you’ll be on a plane back home faster than you can say, “I’m an idiot”.

Julia from Germany told us about her time doing seasonal work: “Farm work is hard, anyone that tells you different is either lying or has been lucky. It’s really hot and it’s physical and a lot of people aren’t used to that – you need to just get over yourself and get it done. There was something really romantic about being up and working just as the sun was coming up. It made us sit up and take notice of the beautiful country that we were in and once you realised that you didn’t mind working hard to stay here”.

Get all of the information related to your job offer in writing. This means that you will know exactly what you are committing to before you get there.

Are things set to change?

Don’t hand over rent or a deposit until you know that you have work. As a guideline, you should never have to hand over more than one week’s rent in advance. The last thing that you want is to hand over the last pennies that you have in the universe only to be trapped somewhere with no job opportunities.

It’s very clear that there are good and bad things about completing your seasonal work, go about it in the right way and things will go swimmingly, neglect your research or experience a bit of bad luck and before you know if your funds could have rapidly deplenished leaving you miles from civilisation with barely enough food to eat and no way of moving on. However, things could be set to change. Recently, the Australian Tourism Export Council (ATEC) have been hard at work creating a paper which they have submitted to the Department of Immigration arguing that travellers should be able to get their Working Holiday Visa multiple times and be able to extend them until the ripe old age of 35. The ATEC have urged the Federal Government to make five key policy adjustments which they believe could increase the country’s Gross Domestic Product (GDP) by an impressive $275million over a period of ten years. This would strengthen the economy and create jobs within the tourism industry which at the moment is affected by labour shortages – certainly nothing to sneer at!

So, what exactly are they proposing?

1 – They want to extend the visa expansion scheme to include “tourism and hospitality” work rather than just harvest work. 2 – To implement reduced costs and financial requirements of applying for a visa. 3 – To widen the qualifying age from 18-30 to 18-35. 4 – To allow travellers to gain the visa multiple times. 5 – They want to push the Government to improve their engagement with the tourism industry in an attempt to widen the visa expansion scheme to new countries around the world. All sounds good to us and if the proposals are passed, you might be able to do your time behind a bar in a regional area rather than behind a tractor in the mid-day heat.

Travel in groups or pairs. Remember, there is safety in numbers. You wouldn’t head to live and work with a complete stranger in other places in the world. Use your head, keep your wits about you and trust your instincts. Surprisingly even the most seasoned clichés are actually worth obeying.

Listen to the “lifers”. There are loads of Aussie and Kiwi pickers who have been travelling around between regions, landing work at just the right times. They will be able to provide you with invaluable advice about where the work is, who you should work for and how much you are likely to get paid. If you have your own car – use this to your advantage. If you volunteer to transport fellow workers to work and back, the farmer might bung you a few extra dollars in your pay packet. It’s all beer money at the end of the day! If working hostels don’t seem to be delivering – try and organise your own work independently. Chat to the locals and ask for introductions from friends. By cutting out the middleman, you are reducing your chances of being screwed over.

Useful websites…

www.workstay.com.au - list of fruit growers, outback farms and wineries. www.backpackerjobboard.com.au www.harveststaff.com.au www.backpackaround.com www.jobs4travellers.com.au www.vecci.org.au www.harvesttrailtv.com.au www.outbackpacker.com.au

By Amy Baker

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Get Social Trending We’re not quite out of the woods with the weather just yet, so this issue we thought we’d bring you our coolest finds in accessories, and of course t-shirts. We’re feeling inspired by crass gold and bandanas, interesting jeans, and a few good unisex and menswear morsels. So sink you’re teeth into these bad boys…

Gold Oval Hoop Earrings

Bigger is better when it comes to accessories this season, so get your bling on with these gorgeous Topshop oval hoops. Their 12cm drop means you’ll be the queen of ‘big hoops’, as the golden rule with golden jewellery is to never go by halves. Taking tips from the trashy trend troops, flashy and fancy is the way to go. Teamed with a chunky gold chain or LTD watch, you’ll be sure to shine like Rihanna. Dressed up on a night out, or to add statement to as more casual ensemble, their quirky oval shape stand out from the crowd. Available from Topshop.com Price: $38

American Apparel Mid-Wash High-Waisted Jeans

High-waisted has been the only way to rock your bottom half for some time now. If you’ve not quite come to terms with it yet, let these American Apparel Mid Wash High-Waisted denim jeans be a game changer for your wardrobe. Don’t be disheartened by the questionable vintage versions that the braver hipsters are wearing. American Apparel are always the one for a perfect, fashionable fit. Not only are they ultra flattering, but they go with any outfit: slouchy tee, leotard, crop top, high tops or heels. You name it, and these jeans will rock it. Available from americanapparell.net Price: $105

Men’s Boots – Newmarket Chukka

Newmarket Chukka are the perfect mix of manly and trendy. The worker boot style made versatile, these boots work with any trend, whether you’re one for skinny jeans or baggy builder look. Available in navy or brown, these boots are a year round investment that will never go out of style. Available from Schuh Price: $90

Chunky Gold LTD Watch

This gold LTD watch is the perfect match to your chunk gold jewellery. A simple yet effective accessory, these watches have been seen on everyone from Jessie J to JSL, and are available on a plethora of vibrant shades. Available from LTDwatch.com Price: $75

Stussy Eyes Muscle Tee

This Stussy top is great for teaming with jeans or shorts if you fancy showing a bit of arm. We’d team this with some kick-ass high tops and a snap-back cap for a full on casual street style look. Available from www.generalpants.com.au Price:$49.95

ASOS Mirrored Floral Print Top

Pastels? Check. Florals? Check. Oversized? Check. ASOS have got it bang on with their tees this season. Thismirror-effect slouchy top is the perfect item to team with your high-waisted, gold encrusted ensemble. Worn baggy on a casual day, or tucked into high waist jeans, emblazoned with hoops and the like, this floral buttery printed top hits all the trends without being overly feminine. Available from ASOS.com Price: $38

Urban Outfitters Pastel Twisted Bandana

Fed up of fedoras? Tired of trilbies? Well you’re not alone. For any girl who’s sick of trying to pull off every hat trend, look no further. These twisted bandana headbands are the ultimate head accessory. They give a rockabilly 50s vibe to any look, and they won’t blow off in the wind! Available in a range of pastel shades, these are set to be a hit these season, so snap one up whilst they’re cheap! Available from UrbanOutfitters.com Price: $7 By Ella White

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BBM's Apps Of The Month From the 2012 Olympic games to checking out how influencial you are through social media, this month BBM’s James Stapleton explores the best new apps on the market for you and your smartphone’s convenience.

Official London 2012 App

The Olympics are in full swing in London for the first time since 1948. The world’s biggest sporting celebration is on UK soil and this time, more than ever, we’re trying to have an interest in kayaking, archery and anything else Britain might be good at, for a whole month. If you want to keep track of all the medals Great Britain will of course be winning, then the Official London 2012 App is your one stop shop. The free app crams in schedules, athlete profiles, venue guides, and information about every single sport of the 30th Olympiad. Perfect to keep up with the latest results on the go as well as a local transport guide to help you get to that Greco-Roman wrestling event you really, really meant to apply for and wanted to go to.

Soundnote

Ideal for musicians, writers and budding bloggers alike, Soundnote is handy little app is the only dictaphone you’ll ever need. Basically a combination of recording and touch screen scribbling, you can press record and make notes as you go along. Now here’s the clever part – simply tap the scribbles and you go straight to that point in the recording, ideal for filtering ideas, transcribing lectures etc. Nice. Guaranteed to be used by every writer at BBM towers. £2.99 - Available on iPhone and Android.

Klout

Think you’re special do you? Think everyone hangs on your every social tidbit and revelation? Well now you can find out. The incredibly popular website releases it’s first official smartphone app. Klout monitors your online influence to provide a eye-opening overview of just who you influence, who influences you and on what topics. Ideal for business and egos alike, Klout provides on-the-go updates and analysis on how to navigate the ever-thickening social jungle.

Free - Available on iPhone, Android and Windows Phone 7.

Free - Available on iPhone and Android.

Action Movie FX

Tune Wiki

JJ Abrahams’ Bad Robot effects company releases their first app, Action Movie FX. The app basically allows users to add movie style special FX to their home videos. In the free version you can choose between missile attack, boulder drop, demolition drop and car crash to add surprisingly realistically rendered disaster endings to your phone movies. Making more sense than the 121 episodes of LOST I had to sit through (yes I’m still bitter about it) JJ Abrahams Special FX app sounds impossibly random but is in fact a genius stress relieving companion, and well worth a download. Free - Available on iPhone.

An important app for Spotify (if you don’t have Spotify on your phone yet, then hurry up and get it!), Tune Wiki is basically a karaoke genie, effortlessly syncing and displaying lyrics for whatever you are educating your ears with. With some nice social sharing functions and the ability to translate into 40+ languages, Tune Wiki ensures you don’t end up tunelessly and loudly singing along alternative lyrics in front of your peers like I did, to several songs… for years. Free - Available on iPhone and Android.

By James Stapleton

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JOKES Murphy says to Paddy “What ya talkin’ to an envelope for?” “I’m sending a voicemail ya thick sod!” Dan, Perth

I went to the Doctor’s the other day and he said I was paranoid… well he never actually said it, but that’s what he was thinking. Sam, Melbourne

Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service. Andy, Surrey Hills

Knock Knock. Who’s There? Europe. Europe who? No, you’re a pooh!

19 Paddies go to the cinema and the ticket lady asks: “Why so many of you?” Mick replies: “The film said 18 or over.” Karen, Darlinghurst An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name is Bindair Dundat. Hayden, Brisbane Dave finishes his pint and says to Tom, “Your round”, Tom replies “So are you, ya’ fat bastard!” Kyle, Port Douglas Arrogance and hypocrisy are the two worst human traits and I see them everywhere I look. Except in me because I’m better than everyone else. Roger, Richmond Two atoms are walking down the street. Says one atom to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!” The other says, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!” James, South Melbourne A neutron walks into a restaurant and orders a couple of beers. As he is about to leave, he asks the waiter how much he owes. The waiter replies, “For you, No Charge!” Alex, Newtown I’ve just written a book on reverse psychology; but it’s shit and you shouldn’t buy it. Cal, Kings Cross Sylvester Stallone was asked who he will be boxing next. “My son”, he replied. Jodie, Fremantle Just had a sage and onion enema, it’s knocked the stuffing out of me! Paul, Darlinghurst “How come you don’t wake up with an erection?” my wife asked me this morning. I replied: “because you’re the woman of my dreams”. Steve, St Kilda Saw my mate outside the Doctor’s today looking really worried. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “I’ve got the Big C,” he said. “What, cancer?” “No, dyslexia.” Richard, Manly

Ian, Kingston

Last night on stage at the strip club was the ugliest dancer I’ve ever seen. She danced up to me and said “Hey Handsome, what would you like me to take off first?” I said “My glasses.” Greg, Yallingup Every time I go out with my workmates I invariably end up in the corner feeling fat and depressed. Or Karen and Debbie from Accounts, as they’re also known. Tom, Newtown “One finger one thumb keep moving” “One finger one thumb keep moving” “One finger one thumb keep moving” “We heard you the first time, Timmy. Granny is experiencing Rigor Mortis”. Gerry, Oxford “Do you floss your teeth?” asked my dentist. “I certainly do.” “It doesn’t look like it, are you sure?” “Well not in the traditional sense but I go down on my wife a lot and she doesn’t shave?” Dave, Fitzroy Apparently black underwear suggests that a woman wants to have sex. That’s bullshit, I’ve been wearing my wife’s for years and she hasn’t shagged me once! Dan, Darlinghurst “£2 a month for a homeless child?” The charity mugger in the street asked. After talking to her for ten minutes, and giving her my card details and address I asked… “So, when can i expect delivery of them then?” Will, Bondi Junction I’ll admit I have some disgusting habits. Whenever I dress up as a nun I shit myself.

Sal, Tonbridge

I call my girlfriend ‘The Skip’. Because everyone on the estate has put their junk in her.

Bill, Kings Cross

“Bear found not guilty of shitting in the woods after hiring John Terrys lawyer.” James, Surfers Paradise I went up to a girl in a pub, dipped my finger in her drink and wiped it on her top. “Do you need any help getting out of those wet clothes?” I asked. She looked disgustedly down at the wet patch and then sneered, “Is that the best you can do?” “Not at all,” I replied, and poured my pint over her. Ben, Broadwater I was talking to a fat lass with huge tits last night. “My eyes are up here...” I said, as she looked down at the kebab in myhand. Richard, Bondi You’ll never see a church with free Wi-Fi. I guess it’s because they don’t want to compete with an invisible power that actually works. Anna, Paddington I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me. “Fancy buying me a drink?” She said, “Sure,” I replied. “If you let me choose.” “Okay,” she grinned. “But how will you know what I want?” “Well, it’s kind of a talent,” I smiled. “All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best.” “Okay,” she giggled. “You can choose for me.” So I turned to the barman and said, “Diet coke, mate.” Phil, Fremantle I must look really sexy in my new convertible BMW. Loads of other motorists have signalled that they plan on having a wank later. Pete, Adelaide

Pants

(pants) n. 1. An amalgamation of Pommy and Rants 2. Things you use to cover your dangly bits. When traveling in Australia one might find oneself a little lost in translation. Now this is to be expected when traveling in a non-English speaking country. Fair play. But Australia does not fall under this category. Australia is an English speaking country that seems to like shaking up the English language a little bit (or bastardising it if you will). And not in a way that’s cool and hip like some homies from the ghetto in Brooklyn throwing out the word ‘phat’ one day which landed them just sounding straight damn cool. Oh no, Australians like to do it in a way that’s really fucking annoying. There are several factors that get my goat about Aussies messing around with The Queen’s English, but today I’m going to have to rant about their habit of knocking letters off the ends of words and adding the letter ‘o’. What the fuck? Since when has this ever been acceptable? Like for example ‘bottle-o’ meaning bottle shop. What is wrong with the letters s,h and p? What did they ever do to you? Why do they deserve to be cast aside from the title? And ‘doco’; meaning documentary. I can’t exactly see Attenborough ever using the word ‘doco’ to introduce his latest series. It’s just fucking lazy. Oh and FYI, ‘Servo’ would be a service station if you’re ever in need! Soon enough we’re sure Australia may just start missing words out of sentences and adding the letter ‘o’. Soon the nation could be speaking a language of absolute lunacy. The crazy bastards will have removed far too many letters from words that no one will make sense anymore. This rising obsession with the letter ‘o’ can be really confusing for a traveler. Like for example you could be asked: “Wanna meet at the servo on Monday arvo and go to Freo and eat some avvo’s and you can meet my rello’s they are all fuckin’ veggo’s and work at salvos.” Now translated for you and I this means: “Would you like to meet at the service station on Monday afternoon and go to Fremantle and eat some avocados, and you can meet my relatives, they are all vegetarians and work at the salvation army shop.” What was so fucking hard about that? Australia: stop being a language lazy, slang-obsessed nation with a freaky fetish for the letter ‘o’. It can be extremely irritating and leave people perplexed. Geto the fuckingo pictureo? By Kayleigh McCue

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INTERVIEWS Since their breakthrough track ‘Down with the Trumpets’ stormed into the UK charts last year, Rizzle Kicks have been winning over girls, boys, adults and grannies everywhere with their self-professed “vibes and charisma”. About to join the mightily impressive line-up of this year’s Parklife, we chatted to Jordan about the tidal wave of success they have experienced over the last year, going from posting their videos on YouTube to playing to crowds of 60,000 screaming fans who know all their songs by heart. With their upbeat Hip-hop sound and funny, optimistic lyrics we challenge you not to like them. BBM chats to Jordan and finds out the reasons why Rizzle Kicks are everyone’s guilty pleasure… Jordan, what’s up? What are you up to at the moment? I’m good thanks; I’m in North London at the moment. I’ve just been chilling today, I had a much needed day off and caught up with some people I hadn’t seen in a while. It was nice. The last year or so has been a bit of a whirlwind of success for you guys – can you even begin to explain what it’s been like? Wow, well it’s difficult to cram everything that we’ve done and experienced into one sentence but I’ll try. It’s been a mad! We’ve gone through a very steep learning curve and although I know that it’s a massive cliché, it’s been exciting beyond our wildest dreams. It’s been a huge experience that we both hope continues for a long time. At the moment we are just taking every day as it comes. You guys have sold 300,000 albums and one million singles in the UK – have there been any other particular highlights? Well aside from that, which I can still hardly get my head around, we have done some amazing gigs. Our first tour sold out and our dates are out now for our winter tour and they’re 95% sold out – we’re playing bigger venues this time. Recently we’ve been returning to the same gigs and festivals that we did last year when we were first starting out like T4 on the Beach in the UK. Back then we were playing the smallest stage and no-one had a clue who we were. A month ago we were back there fucking headlining to 60,000 people who all knew our songs. Through all the stuff that has happened, we always pretend that it’s normal to us, that we’re used to it but this time I couldn’t hold back – I was so excited that

I went mental and smashed up the dressing room. I just couldn’t act cool any more, I was so excited! You’re hugely popular with people from all walks of life and all different age groups – why do you think that that is? I don’t know. I mean, the majority of our fan base is young girls. They’re the ones who buy the records and use all the social networks and our popularity with them could be down to the fact that we are two young boys, but our music is uplifting, upbeat, has very much a Pop essence, which appeals to that age group. Looking at it from another angle though, we make our music into a mirror – we are only trying to impress ourselves and as 20-year-old boys, if it appeals to us, hopefully it will appeal to boys of a similar age. We’re influenced by oldskool Hip-hop so, you know, when we get a tweet from someone who was around in that era saying that they like what we’re doing, that gives us a huge confidence boost. It’s good to see that the artists that have influenced us have been identified in our music by people who were around when it was huge. There are different inspirations to our music as well. If you listen to ‘When I was a Youngster’, young people listening to it will identify but if you listen to the lyrics, it’s about not being young anymore and looking back on when times were simple – this is going to appeal to older people and of course, we sampled The Clash so hopefully their fans will recognise that. I have to ask – you went to the famous Brit School where the likes of Adele and Amy Winehouse honed their talents – what’s it really like? It was brilliant! You know, there’s a real stigma associated with it. People assume that it’s an all singing, all dancing la la land where everyone is given a record deal instantly, but the reality is that you have to audition to get in so everyone wants to be there, everyone wants to work on their own stuff. You don’t have to put up with all of the dickheads who are only there because they are forced to be. You worked with Norman Cook on ‘Mama do the Hump’ – as fellow Brighton residents it must have been amazing for you. How did that all come about? It came about literally from living in Brighton. We told our A & R that we wanted to do it and so we gave it a pop and send him a demo. Somehow we stood out, he dug our vibe and before we knew it we were meeting him. You know ‘Right here, Right Now’ was the second cassette I ever bought, I was a little bit star-struck – it was emotional man!

It seems that you guys have always been destined for music careers, but if you weren’t doing this what do you think that you would be doing? Writing something. I love writing. I’d probably be holed up in a small house somewhere obsessively writing a novel or a feature film – which I’m currently kind of doing. I’m always writing ideas down, thoughts I have. You never know, one day I might meet the right person and things could happen. Now you’ve achieved such success have you stopped reading the reviews? I still read reviews because I want to see what people think. I want to see what people misunderstand and what they take notice of. Primarily, the reviews don’t effect what we do. Like I said, we make it for us so if people turn around and think that it’s shit, it doesn’t matter because we didn’t make it for them, we made it for us.

Having just released her debut single, ‘In A Little While’, Melbourne singer Maxi has captivated listeners with her fabulous and eerie sound. Here, she talks to BBM about Photoshopping dribble off of babies’ faces and just how sexy Jim Morrison really is (as if we needed telling).

So, you’re new single. ‘In A Little While’, is great. What has the response been like to it? It’s been really lovely! I wasn’t quite sure exactly how people would react to it. I chose that song specifically to be the first song off the EP. It’s a little bit eerie, but it’s also a bit relaxed too. For that reason it seems like quite a varied bunch of people like it. Someone told me an 83-year-old woman called Doreen has had a listen to it and she really likes the layers, which is absolutely adorable!

Hi Maxi, how are you? Hey, I’m really well thanks. So what have you been up to today then? I have to work another job to support my music. I actually work at a kids modelling agency, which is quite bizarre. I Photoshop dribble off babies’ faces and

Is it anything like the beauty pageants you see in America? No – in Australia we’re too chilled out for that. It’s not a bunch of orange, spray-tanned girls with fake eyelashes.

Yeah, your sound is quite haunting, what is the song actually about? Does the tone of the song reflect what it’s about?

Make sure you log on to www.bbmlive.com for the full Parklife line up including Labrinth, Rizzle Kicks, Plan B, Justice, Passion Pit and tons more! By Amy Baker

Is there anyone else on the line-up that you are particularly looking forward to seeing?

I saw on Facebook that you’ve recently filmed the video for the song. Was that a lot of fun? Can you tell us what happens in the video? I can tell you! I’m so excited and it’s so farfetched. I was really worried because I had a concept in my head when we were recording this song. I had in my head a really fabulous vintage pushbike that I ride around in and I thought ‘gosh, I love Harley Davidsons’. I think big, hairy men in double denim on Harley Davidsons are fabulous, so we included some in the video. We filmed it over in Pearcedale and in some industrial areas.

lots of strange stuff like that. It’s sort of fun and sort of weird, though.

For those Australians out there who are heading to Parklife and who haven’t heard your music before – what would you tell them to expect from the show? We play upbeat, optimistic Hip-hop. A complete mishmash of genres and most importantly, we have a lot of fun.

You’re set to tour around Australia with Parklife Festival in October - is this your first time down under? Excited? We’re both so excited! It’s the first time there for us both and we’ve both had lots of mates who have travelled there on gap years or gone there to work and feedback has always been great. We spoke to Jessie J and Professor Green who toured there recently and they both loved it. I can’t wait to see it for myself and the Parklife line-up is great. There’s no city that I am particularly excited to visit, I’m totally unbiased – I just can’t wait to be there.

Yeah, a little bit. Someone told me that it sounded like I’d eaten a bunch of magic mushrooms and I’m walking home at 7am, which was not my inspiration for it… haha. The inspiration for it was not really very vicious or angry, but I was a little bit annoyed at somebody. I sort of vented it and I wrote that song, maybe in a little bit of a ‘catch you later, sucker’ way. I don’t really write lyrics that are perhaps so obvious because it doesn’t really matter in the end what I think about it so much.

It’s fair to say there are a lot of female vocalists emerging all the time, but it’s exceptionally rare that one of these newcomers actually has a sophisticated sound and brings something new to the table, and this is where Maxi comes in to play.

There are some great British acts on the line-up. I’m excited to see the acts that I haven’t seen before like Nero. Labrinth and Plan B always play amazing shows so they will be highlights for us.

We’re looking forward to seeing it! When will it be available to watch? It will be out officially on the same day as the single, which is the 23rd July. It feels so far away! I read that you wrote ‘In A Little While’ in your parents’ attic. Is that true? Yeah, I lived in my parents’ attic for about four years. It was like a little cocoon; a nutshell where I couldn’t hear anyone else and no one else could here me. I was just up there in a little bubble, which was really nice. What got you into music in the first place? What are your musical influences? Oh it’s really strange, no one in my family is particularly musical. My parents fail to be able to clap in time, bless their hearts. I was just always one of those really overactive children – I just wanted to do it all! I wanted to be some sort of actress, so I did musical theatre, which has proved to be quite a good platform for this kind of stuff as well. Does the rest of the EP create a similar atmosphere as ‘In A Little While’? Well, I guess looking back on it all the songs have their own identity. They’re all electronic in their own way. I

think that the main influences were bands like The Bee Gees, who write songs that have some kind of groove. It sounds like you could perform these songs and the crowd will be dancing along to every song. That’s the vibe, that’s what I like. When I see live music, I want to have a bit of a bop around. Is there anyone who you’d love to work with in the future? Gosh, there are so many people. I would love to work with Brian Eno, I just think he’s such a rockstar. I would love him to produce my tracks. Will you be going on tour after the EP comes out? I hope to do a few shows, definitely some shows in Melbourne and up the East Coast. Have you built up a fanbase in Melbourne? I haven’t been actively collecting fans, but it seems that they’re finding me! Especially since this single’s been released, quite a few blogs from other countries have posted about it. I think most people now just want to see a live show and to get a full EP. It’s exciting to think that there are people who are not my friends who like my music. What music do you listen to when you want to chill out? If I want to chill out, I don’t mind a bit of The Doors. They’re one of my all-time favourite bands. I just think that Jim Morrison has such a fabulously sexy voice. What do you hope to achieve for the rest of 2012? Get a band together, put out the EP, hopefully find some more people who enjoy the EP… It’s funny because it’s been so long in the process of being made and now it is made, it’s a completely different state of mind. We have a really cool festival circuit in Australia, so hopefully we’ll book a few of those as well. Good luck! Thank you for talking to me. Thank you so much.

By Georgina Deacon

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INTERVIEWS (TOTP) used to be great for artists. And it did make for a good watch. I think it was great too because people could just see you for what you were, without having to look at people and having to update their status’ with pictures of what they’re having for dinner and all that malarkey or having to tweet 500 times a day. Dennis Pennis was presenting the TOTP at that point too, which was cool; he’s a bit of a rude boy.

Jody Wisternoff Jody Wisternoff, better known as half of legendary dance act from the 90s- Way Out West chats to Frankie Salt about his balance of music life with family life, his love for House music and Top of the Pops. With musical tones ranging from Hardcore, House to Electro, there isn’t much that Wisternoff can’t master.   Hey Jody, really great to chat with you… how are you? Yeah I’m really good thanks, little bit hectic upstairs so I’m down in my little studio at home in Bristol. I’m in London at the moment, which is always good. How have things been Jody? Yeah top actually. Just had a weekend off, as it was the Son and Daughter’s birthdays this weekend, which was great. Did you have a good weekend? I heard that Bloc was a little naughty and shocking in London at the weekend.

Ah well I was lucky and went up north to Cocoon, which was absolutely spot on. So when you first started and you were in your teens, how was it to be in the World DJ competition? I imagine that to be completely overwhelming and off the scale. Was that the moment your career took off? It was more like Hip Hop then, more scratching etc. My brother was a 12-year-old getting on stage, having it large against these proper bad boys as he shouted lyrics at them. But I loved it you know; it was great and yeah very overwhelming. And very funny. When you’re that age, you just do anything and I felt like I deserved to be there, I just went with my heart and with my instinct. What has been your biggest accomplishment throughout your musical career? From the outside point of view, I would say that Top of the Pops was pretty big and monumental. That was very cool and it opened a lot of doors. We were between the remixes and then being on TV in the 90s was great and everything was going well. Well I say bring TOTP back to TV, it used to be a favourite of mine. Well before the Internet existed or it was very slow, it

Hybrid It does make you wonder, what is there left to achieve when your music has fed hungry ears since the 90s, been featured on Hollywood films, covers an array of genres and has been featured in theatre and even computer games? Step forward Hybrid. This band explores the three P’s- process, pioneering and progression. They create, play and then move forward, creating sounds, which are timeless and make history without having to repeat themselves. Chris from Hybrid talks about his confused state of mind listening to Dubstep and how he loves to head out and lose it to Hawtin. This music doesn’t have a direct genre, it doesn’t need to be catergorised. From Classical to Dance, Chill Out to Techno, Hybrid have a huge following for a reason. Good morning Chris, how are you doing today? I’m good thank you, running late as always. But I’m good, little depressed by the English weather, especially here in Swansea - it’s shit. But yes, apart from that I am great thanks. Nice to speak with you. You too Chris, now, you guys have been around for over 15 years, what has been the biggest change throughout the years musically within the band? Well, a tricky one. I’d say it is most definitely when Charlotte came on board about four years ago, that was a major shift. We have always been looking for a vocalist. We have never had someone that we thought that we could explore and get the best out of us. She really brought something to Hybrid’s melodic and classical envelope. You are seen to be a pioneer of electronic music... was this what you first set out to achieve all of these years ago? We loved people like Way Out West, Aphex Twin, BT etc we wanted to beat these crazy acts. Audio and technically wise we wanted to push that envelope as far as we could. That’s our thing you know. The Hybrid Soundsystem CD where one side was dance and the other was glitchy, techno and weird electronic chill out. It was everything, so we are going to do another one and

Exactly, you never got spam mail with Top Of The Pops. Jody, you have been around through the thick and thin of the Dance music era of Britain, I would have loved to have been dancing in the 90s… how do you think things have evolved since then? In terms of production, the quality of the tracks, soundwise is completely different. I don’t know if the vibe and the emotion have improved however. The 90s classics, when you hear them now are still absolutely spot on and you can feel the emotion. They still stand out. I don’t know if they sound tight enough to play them next to songs nowadays but they’re amazing still. You always needed so much money etc. to get there, where as now you can just jump onto a laptop. It was a lot harder to get a record out back then. Technology has had such an influence and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Although some tunes are too difficult to get my head around, when there is a clear mix of Dubstep, Trance and everything else in one track, it’s a nightmare. Yeah that’s why Cocoon was so simple, just good House music. Exactly, the House scene is insane at the moment. I love the music coming out of there and Ibiza. It’s so easy to make a radio mix of this stuff because there is just so much to play with. Who influences you at the moment? Future Boogie from Bristol is great. Bristol has a great scene at the moment. Yeah Bristol has always had a great scene, I used to spend a lot of time there and it was all very Drum and Bass and Bassline so it’s good to know that House is now big there too. Is it hard balancing family life with music life? Yeah it’s working well. I just come down here as much as I can. I used to work nights but now I can’t do that because I have to do the school run… life goes on. It is so inspiring having kids, it’s the next part of growing up and I’m just taking my music with me.

Way Out West was your music lovechild in the 90s. How did this progress? Well Way Out West is still active, nothing has ever ended, and things have just evolved. We decided in 2006 to spread our own wings. Things are constantly moving as our musical tastes have taken new turns and are very different. My partner is a lot more serious than my party vibes and Disco. He thinks I’m cheesy and I think he’s serious so we meet in the middle and it works. You have recently released ‘Trails We Blaze’ – in May 2012 on Anjunadeep label, how did this come about to work with Above & Beyond’s label? They have been on my case for a couple of years and I wanted to go for it. They have also been going to the House side, and the deeper stuff was what I really wanted to get on board with. That’s very cool, I loved chatting to those guys, I imagine them to have some great ideas for their progression with Anjunadeep away from Anjunabeats, which is obviously a lot more trance fuelled. Who else are you going to work with? What else is there to achieve musically? Your career is pretty amazing thus far. I have a lot of people in the pipeline, but obviously I can’t drop names! (Laughing) I think my profile as a solo artist has much scope to grow, it is very early doors so I want to raise my profile and make some big records. When you are making music, you just never know when you are going to make an absolute banger. There are some more singles from the album coming out over the summer. I then also have a remix of this very cool Bristol band coming out called ‘The Other Tribe’ so I hope that will be a biggy. It has a lot of heat and is getting released on Sony so I have remixed that. And also the EP from Way Out West, and then the Australian tour. Things are looking amazing, fingers crossed you get some sun in Australia. Thanks Jody, really enjoyed chatting with you. Well the plus side is, I haven’t had to water the garden plants! (Laughing) Cheers Frankie, hope to catch you soon. You can catch Jody Wisternoff at Sky Room Brisbane, New Guernica – Melbourne, and Chinese Laundry – Sydney. Log on to www.bbmlive.com for full tour dates and information. By Frankie Salt

see where it goes. We wanted to take off where Future Sounds London had left, as there is a musical gap and no one is really filling it at the moment.

electronic side of things. Like Dubstep, it’s interesting but it gets too much after a while.

Well as you say, you have such a mix of genres, do you think you could label your music Chris? Yes, it is forward thinking music, it is progressive but it is progressively thinking music, moving forward like nothing else. We are doing the Hybrid classics 2 release on June 30th, and going back into our back catalogue, looking at our first classics CD and then our orchestral stuff which some of it is unheard, was fascinating. I never listen to our music, we make it and perform it and then I move forward and carry on. But going back into it all, it was a lovely week and the music has lasted, some of it is twelve years old and it sounds ok to me.

Ηow do you see 2012? As a year of serious dedication and progression or are you looking to just go with the flow and enjoy? We have a mini album on the go, which is going to be so accessible for the masses. The Hybrid classics on route. Hybrid Soundsystem 2 to go with the DJ show too also, before the end of the year. And the fans are there, as always, which is just amazing. 2012 looks to be a good year.

Well, I was going to ask about the second Hybrid classics CD, which is soon to be released. Why a second? Yeah we have been with them forever and this is the last of the contract. We are not leaving the old Hybrid behind and completely changing but we have lots of stuff we want to combine all of the really exciting stuff. This new album is going to change things, fill in the gaps of Future Sounds as I said hopefully. But you never know, we might just fuck it up and I’ll sound like a twat then. Well, I do absolutely love your remix of Depeche Mode’s classic ‘Silence’. It’s such an amazing original and you have smashed it. How did this come about? This is another wonderful thing about our fans. Sometimes there can be a four-year gap between our albums, and we don’t use the press as much as we used to because of it being a small label. Anyway, the fans are always there. Our Facebook can be dead for six months, nothing, and then all of a sudden they’re all there and I take my hats off to them because they sit around waiting for us to release a new record. We then ask them what they would like us to cover and we had 5 and a half thousand suggestions from them, it was ridiculous.. You have chosen to remix the likes of UNKLE, Doves, Guy J, Elite Force, Losers and Radiohead, how do you decide on a track you wish to remix? Some of our biggest hits like Future Sound London, Papa New Guinea worked well as we were doing a mix for Radio1 so we knew that we wanted to do something really different, so we did a bootleg of it and then we got a call from them and they asked if they could release the track. We were speechless. If we had been asked to remix Papa New Guinea first we would have snuffed it, but because we loved it and just went for it, it just turned out great. Obviously things have changed dramatically throughout the sounds of music since you guys started, who means the most to you in the past musically? For pure quality and content, Richie Hawtin. Every time I go and see him for four or five hours, I do a few naughty things and that keeps me going for months. I lose it and then the next day I feel full of energy to write music. Some of Sasha’s shows, it has to be quality. I know they’re old and heritage but they give me a warm glow. What do you think of the radio at the moment then? Do you think it’s crap? I’m not particularly inspired by Radio One’s top 40! Me neither Frankie, but I do like a bit of BBC 6 for their inspirational selection. There is a new band which I have come across - The Choir of Young Believers - it’s piano, vocals, quite Radioheady in a way. Film scores and adverts, intimate and melodic music, which perks my ears up; it’s not always just banging dance music that drives us on and we do the technology and the

Catch Hybrid this month at Billboard, Melbourne, and Chinese Laundry, Sydney. For more information visit www.bbmlive.com. By Frankie Salt

This Month At Chinese Laundry.... Don’t miss out on some amazing nights coming up at Sydney’s Chinese Laundry Club: Friday 3rd August – Kenny Ken & MC Skibadee (UK) Saturday 4th August - Oliver$ – Oliver $ (Ger) Friday 10th August – Concord Dawn (NZ) Saturday 11th August – Hybrid (UK) - Hybrid Classics tour Friday 17th August - Tomba (Isr) Saturday 18th August – Kazu Kimura (JPN) Friday 24th August – Boy Kid Cloud (UK) Saturday 25th August - Jody Wisternoff (UK, Way Out West) Friday 31st August – Photek (UK) For more information on these nights or any others log on to www.bbmlive.com

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INTERVIEWS You are the only original member left is that correct? Do you ever wish to go back to the original band and see what music would come through from you guys all these years later - or do you think the fresh production from new members has helped your music to remain timeless? Well I think it helps! People would maybe be a bit bored of us and we would probably be bored of each other. It depends, if everyone wanted to get back together for a few shows and see what came of it, I would be up for that. It might be like inviting the first five people you have ever been to bed with to dinner, you know, might be a bit boring really. I’ve seen some of my old friends reunite and it never takes long to realize why they broke up in the first place. I think things have their time. I think that they have feelings about the legacy of The Beat and the way in which the music hasn’t really dated like a lot of other stuff from the 80s has, and so I think I am very lucky in that respect. You’re known as ‘The English Beat’ in America and then ‘The Beat’ everywhere else across the World, how does this affect you? Well I think it helped in America as they like the word ‘English’ as much, as they are suspicious of the word ‘British’. The word ‘English’ reminds them of having a great Grandfather over there, whereas the British seems to mean the red coats are coming. There was a band already using the name in San Francisco so we had to change, but it worked out really for us.

The English Beat From mixing pop with politics surrounding the recession and a plea against Margaret Thatcher, to working for Greenpeace, and being part of the fire services The (English) Beat’s front man Dave Wakeling hasn’t stopped making music for the last few decades and now has come to realize that his original tracks are more relevant now than ever. The (English) Beat are here to make life’s lows into highs with music, which makes any crowd want to dance. BBM’s Frankie Salt speaks with Dave Wakeling about his passion for the life, the band, and how new members have shaped The (English) Beat over the course of time. Hello Dave how have you been? Yes I’m smashing thank you. How have things been for you this year? Fantastic. Working very hard and have had some really amazing shows. What with the re-releases and everything we seem to have more shows and it is a very busy time. Everyone is excited about our trip to Australia and New Zealand.

‘Stand Down Margaret’ is probably your most political song, how and why did you create this track? Well we weren’t any more political than any conversation at the local bus stop was. The only difference was that we put it in our pop songs whereas other pop groups would edit out these kinds of political points as though pop and politics shouldn’t mix. There had been a lot of protests against Margaret Thatcher at that time and we wanted to talk about it in more of a fun way. It seemed that people were complaining more about it than doing anything about it. Society used to take care about you but then people seemed to go against each other. I felt sorry with my nippers that culture wasn’t taking care of them. Do you think your music has become more relevant again now with the economic crisis as at the original time that the Beat was born, we were also in a huge meltdown? Yeah especially over here in America, we are played a lot more on the radio than we were when we first came over. It’s a shame that they were written in a recession in ’79 and that they are pertinent now. Everything over here is starting to be like that, people are blaming each other. I used to love America’s ability of freedom of speech and sport and culture, but now many of the lyrics such as ‘Get a Job’ are making sense nowadays. Maybe we need to go through it a few times before everyone realizes we are better working together. You haven’t always just made music have you? How old were you when you were a firefighter? And you’ve also worked for Greenpeace? Yes all of my family had been in the armed forces so they mapped me out to be a pilot. But in the fire service, I got to wear uniform, got to serve but I didn’t

have to slit anyone’s throat, which worked well for me. In the 90s I worked for Greenpeace. It became unsustainable though as it grew to massive amounts, it was great that it became a household name though. The public is so aware now, kids recycle without being told to and such - Greenpeace are an inspiring charity which now promote more sustainable practices. In the five years I was there, people were so committed to it and I loved meeting with these inspiring people and I got to use my knowledge of the music industry. We brought out a CD recorded, mixed and mastered with U2 and REM etc. completely by solar power for charity. That’s very cool, I like that. You are originally from Birmingham; did this affect your music? Well it definitely affected me; particularly coming from Birmingham. Because there were so many car factories, people from every culture had to stand and work next to each other. I’m not saying it was an ethnic and racial paradise, but people were more tolerant of each other and would move around in the ethnicities whilst being polite. Skinheads surrounded us at one of our gigs who said they liked us, which was overwhelming if you looked at the mix of our audience, but still things were good in the crowd. Music was quite political when it came to the colour of your skin back then, look at Madness and The Specials. From the essence of Soul to Reggae to Punk to Ska, with a definite hint of Jamaican sounds, there is no way to categorise your sound, how would you describe it? What I really wanted to do was to make an all-inclusive sound of Dance music which would make people who couldn’t even dance that well – like me - want to dance. The basic pulse and beats of our favourite music such as Punk, Soul, Disco, 60s Pop, bit of African music. I love syncopated music as it lifts your spirits, when you have a positive soundtrack; it’s then that you can afford to put lyrics to the sounds, which cover the tragedies that circulate all of us in our everyday lives. We all have more in common than our differences. What more do you want to achieve and what is coming up for you guys this summer? I would love to work with Sir Paul McCartney before he shuffles off. If you could put in a word (laughing) we are even both left handed you know! I play with my cricket bat the way he plays with his bass guitar. Elvis Costello got to write with him and the Rolling Stone magazine said that I was up there with Costello at my finest so maybe I should cut that out and send it to him- I would just love to be able to tap into some everyday human emotions with him and make a real good track. But yeah, I am bringing out a new album next year. We have put the tracks on the back burner whilst we sort our re-release, which is very exciting. Also, we can’t wait to get over to Australia. Thanks BBM! By Frankie Salt

was so fun. That’s probably where our love for electronic music comes from. You have been crowned hottest record for ‘We Should Be Swimming’ by the almighty Zane Lowe (who dubbed you as this title twice later for ‘Silver Tongue’) and New Band Of The Day on the Guardian website, what has been your proudest moment as a band to date over the last crazy year? For me, the best moment has been Field Day, Victoria Park. We have been going to that festival as a band since it started, and is a great festival. We had a big crowd and it was one of the first festival experiences we had. Having the vinyl of your album given to you is a pretty amazing feeling, nothing compares to having that in your hands. You have an amazing summer coming up; I’m hoping to catch you at Secret Gardend Party (which I’m mega excited about) and at Bestival. Have you had a favourite venue/country you’ve played in so far? Playing in Holland is always fun. We did a show recently and it was just great, it’s odd when you go and do a show and everything feels perfect. You have the confidence and you’re not worried and you do your thing and it works. We always play well in Holland and the last few gigs have been fantastic with people singing along and loving it. Maybe Australia will beat it? Oh, and Brixton academy is amazing being on the stage there after seeing Queens of the Stone Age when I was like 16. Ha-ha well Australians are always up for a gig. I bet you couldn’t see yourself on that stage ten years ago? Where do you see the band in ten years? Well we are here for the long haul. We want this career for the rest of our lives. I’ll be more than happy to be there in ten years with the guys in the recording studio, waiting to go home to my wife and kids, sounds perfect to me!

Zulu Winter

It is refreshing when a band comes around that has a unique, genuine sound. Zulu Winter’s bassist Iain Lock chats with Frankie Salt about how the band was born and where they want to be in ten years time. They’re here for the long haul, which is great news for all ears. Their distinctive Electronic, deep Indie sound creates an album that you can listen to from start to finish with pleasing ease. After being crowned ‘Hottest Record’ by Zane Lowe, amongst other amazing achievements, 2012 sets to be a big year for this big band. Hello Iain how are you this morning? Where are you? I am currently in my kitchen in the big smoke, in my pyjamas drinking a good cup of tea out of my Mr. Tickle mug; I bet that paints a lovely picture for you! It does indeed mate; to be honest I’m pretty much doing the same! How’s everything been for you this year? You lot haven’t been around for too long. How did you first come together? Yeah it’s been great and we are coming to Australia soon. We have had a couple of great tours and the new album, things are good. I used to skate with Guy the drummer as we lived just outside Oxford. We were 18 and he turned to me and said ‘you play bass don’t you?’ His band’s bassist had gone away travelling and so I jumped at the chance to be in the band and then it went from there. That was ten years ago. We then went off to Uni and did different

What advice would you give to our readers starting in a band and wanting to get their foot into the music industry? Just keep at it. You’ve got to believe in yourself. The three C’s; Communication, confidence and composure. There is also the added fourth C- the click. Just prepare yourself, get some tracks and go for it. projects, and then we decided to get back together when Uni came to an end. Two years ago we said are we going to do this seriously or go back to our day jobs and we decided to make a go of it and locked ourselves away for a while. Actually, when I joined the band, I met Will last as he was on holiday when I joined the band and Dom was singing and playing guitar. Things have changed so much now. Dom got relegated to keyboard as his guitar was stolen from Guy’s car. Well it seems everything happens for a reason! How did you come up with the name Zulu Winter? Any special meaning? Well Harry had a name idea of ‘Nine Winters’, I should probably spin you a really long story about trekking through a desert with a magic lamp and stuff, but it’s a bit early and I don’t really have the creative prowess yet. But then we thought the name was a bit depressing and we had a picture of a Zulu warrior in our rehearsal room. Will said ‘do you know what it could even be Zulu Winter’ and we didn’t think it sounded too bad, it had a good ring and juxtaposition. When you were growing up, who made big impressions on you and made you want to make the music yourself? I think my brother was my biggest influence. He introduced me to so many different types of music. People like Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Pearl Jam, Bob Dylan- all of the legends. The other guys in the band went down a different route to me. I was pretty traditional, I remember jumping up and down on the sofa to Guns and Roses when I was like 9 as my Dad was heavily into rock music. I also like dance music, Guy and I met in 2000 at a rave and so that

I sat and listened to the album from start to finish, and to be honest it is a rarity to find myself doing so. It’s quality. Do you ever come across disagreements, as the four of you want something different from a track? Do you all work equally or does someone take a backseat sometimes? Thank you very much. Well, it depends on the song. ‘People That You Must Remember’ started as an Indie anthem with lots of guitar. It is quite a big track, like ‘The Big Pink [jokingly sings ‘Dominoes’]. We knew that there was something great in there, but we didn’t want to be making the big anthems. And then one day Henry had this vision. It became atmospheric and sensitive, and then Will added the vocals. I didn’t like it to begin with but I took a back seat as I trust them and I let the guys do their thing and now it’s one of my favourite tracks on the album. Will is a clever man and writes all the lyrics but we do write as a five some. Things are often put to a vote. Yeah, so teamwork made the dream happen whilst creating your debut album, which has just been released, would you go back and change anything about it? I think what we made in the time and constraints we had, we made the best album we could. That was always the aim, to make it as good as possible. There has been a few problems with playing things live and choosing what to include and what not to include. We have four guitar parts on some tracks and not four players so we had to adapt. We are very happy people. By Frankie Salt

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MUSIC NEWS SINGLE REVIEWS Simian Mobile Disco – Your Love Ain’t Fair

syncopated ska bringing up the tempo considerably. Chopping and changing between the long held notes similar to the intro and then back to the upbeat moody ska, there’s something familiar about their sound… in a slightly more grown up Maroon 5 way mixed with a hint of Friendly Fires. However Sticky Fingers are more raw, and also demonstrate elements similar to that of The Script when it comes to their lyric writing. Sticky Fingers’ sound has been described as ‘psychotic surf dub love songs’, and we’d say that was a pretty accurate description. All in all, ‘Caress Your Soul’ is an easy and enjoyable track, one that could easily slip into masses of playlists whether you’re a chart follower or a tune forager. By Fanny Frangipane

Sticky Fingers – Caress Your Soul

album thicker. So the new single ‘Shakin’ sounds somewhat different from the rest of the album, it stands out and seems frisky. It might be the tongue in cheek guitar riff and the vaudeville manner of the squeals from the gospel sounding vocal breaks, but as always, there is the homage to blues-rock and the back alley whiskey bars in his song writing. Lyrically its quite self explanatory, there’s a couple of popular music references such as Bo Didley (the Mississippi blues-rock originator) and “I’m all shook up” referring to Elvis as well as the religious reference to Samson; the man who lost his strength when his woman Delilah, cut his hair. Altogether a really light-hearted, fun track, that makes me want to go out and get drunk. By Ashley Moore

EP Reviews Colourfide – Colourfide

There’s something ominous afoot in ‘Your Love Ain’t Fair’, the latest single to be taken from English dance duo Simian Mobile Disco’s third album ‘Unpatterns’. From the off, there’s something sinister bubbling beneath the track’s grainy, analogue sonic atmosphere. Beginning on gently pulsating synthesizer frequencies and shuffling beats, proceedings are quickly taken over by numerous samplings of the song’s titular phrase. What at first seems fairly paint-by-numbers dance music quickly becomes something far more impactful indeed. Things slowly begin to crash and burn, gradually mutating with each successive drop; it’s almost as if what started out as a hardy rave has, over the course of a night, been skewed and warped into a post-euphoric comedown, blending seamlessly from a summer party anthem into a choppy, autumnal tech house trip. It makes perfect sense that ‘Your Love Ain’t Fair’ is one of the concluding triptych of tracks on ‘Unpatterns’; the sense of nostalgia inherent to its hazy, lo-fi, trippy nature is bound to make you pine for those long summer nights, nights that will most definitely keep being soundtracked by Simian Mobile Disco if this offering is anything to go by. By Alex Cull

Maxi – In A Little While

We weren’t aware of this Sydney foursome until very recently, but so far… we like what we hear! Sticky Fingers ‘Caress Your Soul’ is taken from their debut album and if this is anything to go by then we’re looking forward to hearing that. ‘Caress Your Soul’ begins with a slightly melancholy piano intro and whining vocals in a very definite minor key, but before long the pace changes to a syncopated ska bringing up the tempo considerably. Chopping and changing between the long held notes similar to the intro and then back to the upbeat moody ska, there’s something familiar about their sound… in a slightly more grown up Maroon 5 way mixed with a hint of Friendly Fires. However Sticky Fingers are more raw, and also demonstrate elements similar to that of The Script when it comes to their lyric writing. Sticky Fingers’ sound has been described as ‘psychotic surf dub love songs’, and we’d say that was a pretty accurate description. All in all, ‘Caress Your Soul’ is an easy and enjoyable track, one that could easily slip into masses of playlists whether you’re a chart follower or a tune forager. By Fanny Frangipane

Jack White - Shakin

Coming from the Gold Coast, but relocating to the Territories in order to ‘do something different’ and maximise their potential, Colourfide are a collective trying to add something a little ‘out there’ to your aural pleasure. This eponymous EP gives a great taste of the sound of the band - even without a defined style per sé, they have taken elements from various genres and mashed them together to create something which will take some of you back to hazy summers of the late 90s. Sounding like a cross between a husky Maroon 5, McFly and Fallout Boy, Colourfide are definitely on the poppier, more fun side of rock. Also flirting with elements of ska and funk, it’s hard to pigeonhole this band, and it’s obvious that their time in the outback has removed many of the distractions that fetter your average band. Opener ‘Tennant (Free it up)’ is a carefree summer tune with hints of reggae, while ‘Hustler’ errs on the side of the Panic & The Disco sound. ‘Burning’ has a chorus straight out of Adam Levine’s songbook. It’s a three-minute piece of pure pop, and the EP ends with the more aggressive ‘Rodeo’ which so nearly works, but can’t quite decide what it is. Elsewhere on the EP, harmonies seem to be making a tentative comeback, and Colourfide enjoy providing them in three-parts, layering over the running basslines, sudden trumpets (and other surprise brass sections) and rocky riffs. This EP shows us a band with a good melting pot of ideas, styles and variety, while maintaining a sense of identity. What will be interesting to see is what an entire collection of songs sounds like: the four on show here have an energy which doesn’t quite come through on a recording, but pretty much guarantees is that this band is one to see live and keep an eye on in the meantime. By Fanny Frangipane

Joining the illustrious ranks of female singers who have opted for the one word name thing, the vocal talents of Australia’s brightest new talent, Maxi, also musically travels down a similar road as her predecessor, Sia. Appearing on the scene with this infectious number that showcases her obvious potential, ‘In A Little While’ is a catchy, driven number that will get your feet tapping and your head bopping. The bass leads you through the track, while the dark synths swirl in and out of your ears, providing a platform for the gorgeous harmonies that float over the chorus. During the verse, her voice does lose out a little bit to the rest of the track, but it does serve to make the chorus a much bigger event. This is a track to listen to on a rainy summer’s eve. Luckily, London seems to be providing us with plenty of these. By Robin Lewis

Sticky Fingers – Caress Your Soul We weren’t aware of this Sydney foursome until very recently, but so far… we like what we hear! Sticky Fingers ‘Caress Your Soul’ is taken from their debut album and if this is anything to go by then we’re looking forward to hearing that. ‘Caress Your Soul’ begins with a slightly melancholy piano intro and whining vocals in a very definite minor key, but before long the pace changes to a

From the get-go this is a biased review because there is nothing that Jack White has ever done, that I have never enjoyed to its full capacity. But for those of you that may not know who the greatest guitarist musician of our time is… you should venture into The White Stripes, go get yourself a copy of ‘Elephant’ or ‘White Blood Cells’ to get a feel for the type of music Jack White produces. When I heard that there was a solo album coming out for ‘The Raconteurs’ and ‘The Dead Weather Goliath’, I nearly pissed myself in excitement and I knew that there was no way this album could flop. Whatever Jack White produces is pure gold, shiny, sweet, slamming, gold. For the die-hard White Stripes fans, this album as a whole is almost a return to those distorted guitar chords frequented on early White Stripes material. But there’s also added instruments that seem to make the dynamics of the

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MUSIC NEWS Album ReviewS

Records dropped him due to the dissatisfying performance of the album. The big break was yet to come for the Londoner, when Microsoft decided to use ‘Too Close’ for its most recent Internet Explorer 9 commercial, catapulting Clare towards success. The album is hugely influenced by Dubstep and Drum & Bass. Songs like ‘Hummingbird’ and ‘Whispering’ compare to the hit ‘Too Close’, but can’t compete. The opener ‘Up All Night’ is a great choice to introduce the album and gives an idea about what is yet to come.

Gildas & Jerry Kitsune Soleil Mix

The album can easily be split into two different halves, the first one being a lot faster and featuring more catchy songs, with the second half seeming to be devoted to slow and quiet songs, with the piano ballad ‘I Won’t Let You Down’ closing the whole album. With ballads like these, Clare can prove that he has a voice and he certainly knows how to use it. Most of the songs start slow, but pick up towards the chorus and fully explode like a whirlwind come the chorus. Songs like ‘I Love You’ and ‘Sanctuary’ are maybe a little flat and missing that extra ingredient, but the rest of the album, which consists of 11 unique tracks, will blow you away. Alex Clare’s soulful voice adds the right flavour to every track.n His lyrics are a first-class proof of his talent. He can sing ‘I Won’t Let You Down’ acoustically – only supported by the piano – but he also shows his capability with a number like ‘Treading Water’, which opens down tempo, but soon transforms into a fast and captivating beat. ‘The Lateness Of The Hour’ is a powerful, absorbing and well-thought-of debut album. With songs like ‘Too Close’ and ‘Humming Bird’, he practically takes your hand and takes you on a journey, with compelling lyrics we can all relate to. By Julie Hebenstreit

Nas - Life Is Good

If it’s summer time vibes you’re after, with a hint of disco and a dash of the obscure, then Gildas & Jerry serve it up by the bucketful for Kitsune’s Soleil Mix. Mixed and conceived by Kitsune’s boss, Gildas Loaec, and longtime collaborator, Jerry Bouthier, the French producer takes you on a real summer day’s journey. From chilling in the sun, to dancing the night away, to finally bringing things to a close, the Soleil Mix is illustrative and should definitely be whacked onto your iPod. The compilation starts off pretty chilled, as you imagine yourself reclining poolside to tracks such as Moon Boots’ ‘Running From’. In-keeping with the French Label’s… erm… Frenchness, one thing’s for sure: a quirky edge remains throughout the compilation. Gildas and Jerry put their unconventional spin on each track. Taking things up a notch around track four, Jupiter’s ‘One O Six’ is probably about three margaritas into your afternoon on the hype factor. This track seriously pings the energy levels up a few pegs, yet keeps that sun shining throughout.

The BBM Chart BBM loves music and so do our readers. That’s why we bring you the finest in music across the genres every week for your listening pleasure. Here is a list of our chosen tunes for this month, which make us tap those toes and shake that ass. The XX- Angels Nelly Furtado featuring Nas - Something Nas and Amy Winehouse - Cherry Wine Jimmy Cliff- Rebirth Jinja Safari - Toothless Grin Noetic Nega - Purebred (Timewarp remix) The Delta Riggs - Counter Revolution Art Of Sleeping - Empty Hands Youan – Promises Lime Cordiale – Say It Chew Lips – Hurricane Melody’s Echo Chamber – Endless Shore Carnivals – Departners Adam F – Elements Boy In A Box – On My Mind Northeast Party House – Pascal Cavalier Alex Zafiris feat. Romy Harmony – Take A Chance Little Boots – Headphones (Ronika remix) Noisia – Tommy’s Theme Simian Mobile Disco – Your Love Ain’t Fair Phèdre – Haberdash Matrix & Futurebound feat. Luke Bingham – All I Know Reptar – Three Shining Suns Allo Darlin’ – Europe Friends – I’m His Girl (AlunaGeorge mix) Loadstar – Passenger Idles – 26/27 MS MR – Track Addict Vol 1. Mixtape Youan – Promises

Adamski really works things out with ‘I Like It’, which starts with a stupidly wonky synth, setting the tone for a good solid upbeat track. Tracks such as Plastic Plates’ ‘Toys’ and Rufus’ ‘Talk To Me’ serve a good dose of camp dance pop into the mix. However it’s not all obscure, quirky tracks you’ve probably never heard of on the ‘Soleil Mix’. Gildas and Jerry have also included Metronomy’s ‘Everything Goes My Way’, which has been reworked into dancey, moody magic, and Friendly Fires’ ‘Hurting’ also makes an appearance toward the end of the mix. Stand-out tracks include the aforementioned ‘One O Six’ featuring light flirtatious vocals from Amelie, whilst a solid 80s sounding synth marches throughout, Pharao Black Magic’s ‘Hermes’ and Hey Today’s ‘83’, which features some unbeatable bass teamed with infectious whistling. Either way, we love this recently released mix and you will too, so get downloading this in time for the sunnier season! By Fanny Frangipane

Alex Clare – The Lateness Of The Hour

This July saw the release of Nas’ tenth studio album, entitled ‘Life is Good’. Take one look at the forlorn American rapper on the album cover, and your first impression is that poor Nas is not having a great time in life at all. The title in the first instance appears utterly unconvincing, because there is no questioning that frankly the guy looks pretty goddam miserable with the green wedding dress that belonged to his recently divorced wife, Kelis, draped over one knee. However, don’t be too quick to place your judgement. Sure the album’s direction stems from his heavily publicised, bitter split from his ex-wife as well as his struggle with a few significant tax issues, but as he rhymes over the album’s second track ‘Loco-motive’: “I know you think my life is good cause my diamond piece/but my life been good since I started finding peace” this album is a reflection of a storm that has passed. If you’re expecting ground-breaking creativity - a new spin on his steady, literate storytelling – you’ll be disappointed. Rumours stirred prior to the release of the album that new young shots were being drafted in to add a fresh taste, but upon release it became evident that with trusted producers Salaam Remi and No ID worked on the best part of the album, that ‘Life Is Good’ is nothing flashy, but generated from personal nostalgia for past-times and 80s Hip-hop influences. His masterfully smooth raps tell stories of custody-battles, fatherhood, divorce and money over piano chords, orchestral melodies and boom-bap drums. Initially the tracks are reminiscent of his 90s Hip-hop days, spelling out his days in Queens, and the grittier side of his life, featuring Rick Ross emanating the rise to recognition and fame in ‘Accident Murderers’. ‘Daughters’ reveals his concerns over his daughter’s growing maturity and his insecurity as a father figure, while ‘Stay’ sees a jazz-trumpet accompany his thoughts surrounding his son Knight. ‘Summer’s on Smash’ is begging to be a chart-topping hit, featuring a lively collab with Swizz Beatz, while the heavily anticipated ’Cherry Wine’ featuring Amy Winehouse’s vocals provides the penultimate highlight of the album, illustrating a familiar tale to Nas for ill-fated lovers. Far from a self-indulgent break-up album, ‘Life is Good’ tramples on any respectable credibility his past few albums have held, in fact it is perhaps the best thing to come from Nas since his phenomenally successful debut ‘Illmatic’ in 1994. A raw offering with Nas enunciating his life in calculated prose, we hope its success puts a smile back on his face.

Thanks to the huge success of smash hit ‘Too Close’, which most of us have probably heard for the first time in Microsoft’s TV ad, Alex Clare’s debut album, ‘The Lateness Of The Hour’, is suddenly taking the charts by storm, with ‘Too Close’ currently no. four and climbing its way to the top. 27-year-old Clare, who was born in Southwark, London and worked as a trainee chef, has already had his share of bad luck when his UK label – Universal Island

By Alexandra Macleod

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The BBM team have been hard at it back home in the UK with the festival season in full swing. With the noticeable lack of Glastonbury this year, London has had its time to shine on the festival circuit. With festivals such as Lovebox, Radio 1’s Hackney Weekender, Wireless and the new High Definition Festival it’s been awesome so far, despite the utterly dire weather. BBM also managed to fit in a hard core few days at the spectacular Secret Garden Party, which was true to form and most amazing!

BBM’s team don’t just do the mainstream though, oh no, we’ve also been checking out the newest up and coming festivals such as Play Fest in Norfolk and Larmer Tree Festival in Wiltshire. With plenty more to come this summer, we’ll make sure we check back with you to show you what everyone back home is up to, but for now, enjoy our pics from the UK festival season so far!

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FUNNY NEWS Hopefully Not Flying Low

Having an enormous penis is a problem BBM knows all too well. On the rare occasions we get women back to our bedroom, they start screaming hysterically at the sight of it. Although that might have something to do with the fact that the bell end is shaped like Gary Lineker’s head. But having a huge shlong has other drawbacks too – just ask 41-year-old Yank Jonah Falcon. Falcon, 41, has a spunk-pumper which is 9.5 inches long when flaccid and 13 inches erect. He has featured in a number of documentaries about the world’s biggest penises – presumably alongside bull elephants and blue whales. The problem is, as he found out at San Francisco International Airport again this week, he keeps getting stopped by security and questioned about the bulge in his pants. “They wanted to know if I had something in my pockets, and when I said no, they asked if I had some sort of growth,” he said. He told them it was his penis, and they checked around his crotch, although not too closely. He was delayed for five minutes. The incident was not his first. “I’ve gone through the (scanner) before, and I wasn’t worried. “What was the worst that was going to happen? I was going to have to whip it out for them? I’m used to that. Sometimes when people ask me about it, if I’m feeling up to it, I’ll just show them.”  Nice to know we’re not the only ones John. Sometimes we whip it out even when no one’s asking about it. Unfortunately we’re banned from going within 50 metres of Coles now but it was certainly worth it to see the look on those check out girls faces.

Coming Clean At The Death

From a young age we’re told that honesty is the best policy, that it’s always best to come clean if you’ve been lying about something important to those who love you. Then again, is having a guilty conscience worse than the consequences of telling your girlfriend it was you who spunked in her mum’s knicker drawer? It’s a difficult question – but one which Val Patterson from Utah has found the answer to. Patterson confessed to a number of crimes and sins last month yet escaped any negative consequences. How? By dying. Cunning. Very cunning.  The 59-year-old cancer victim wrote his own obituary, which went in the local paper shortly after his death. In it, he admitted to things like lying about having a PhD, stealing a safe from a hotel and being banned from SeaWorld and Disneyland. The obituary read: “I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the University of Utah, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters ‘PhD’ even stood for.” Patterson also confessed he stole a safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in 1971 and that he’d vandalised a park ranger’s hot spring. He added: “Now to that really mean park ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it.” Inspired by Patterson’s actions, BBM has also decided to write our own obituary. How do you spell ‘bestialty’ again? And what’s the one where you get off on shagging dead bodies?

No Sex Please We’re British

Britain’s women are clearly getting their sexual kicks by masturbating while reading mummy porn bestseller ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ after a study found the British have less sex than anyone else in the world. Presumably the blokes are too engrossed in Britain’s summer of sport to have noticed.  Colombians apparently have the most sex, with 89 per cent making love at least once a week. Indonesians and Russians are joint second on 88 per cent. This presumably means having a corrupt government is a hell of a turn on. Stop killing dictators people!  The study shows just 55 per cent of Brits have sex at least once a week, with only the Japanese getting it on less often than us. But as we always say to our landlord when we’re short on rent, it’s quality not quantity – and it seems, on average, more Brits orgasm during sex, with men at 72 per cent but women at just 39 per cent. You lucky ladies.

Pimp My Ride

With so many sheep to compete with, it’s no wonder New Zealand’s prostitutes have to go above and beyond to catch a client’s eye. But in Auckland it seems they’ve gone a little too far after police claimed athletic whores were responsible for a wave of destroyed parking signs in a suburb of the city. Apparently the Kiwi hookers are using them as poles to, ahem, tempt customers with their flexible bodies and nimble dance routines. In the past 18 months, more than 40 poles have been snapped or bent. “Some of the prostitute’s are big strong people,” city councillor Donna Lee said while sucking on a banana seductively. On the plus side, we bet there’s not much speeding in the area. Which is probably just as well with all those used condoms on the road.

Got a story, a joke, or a funny picture? Send it to us at: reporters@bbmlive.com

Death By Chocolate

We all know chocolate is bad for you. How bad? Well it almost led to the Nazis winning World War II. Fuck you Cadburys! According to historical studies, Hitler planned to assassinate sweet-toothed tubster Winston Churchill by giving him an explosive-laden choccy treat. The effect would have been something similar to the scene in Monty Python’s ‘Meaning of Life’ where Mr Creosote has one wafer too many. Nazi bomb makers coated explosives with a thin layer of rich dark chocolate, packaged it in black and gold wrapping and planned to have spies deliver them to the UK prime minister. If they’d added a bit of caramel there’s every chance the fat Nazi-foiler would have eaten it anyway. Luckily, some James Bond types foiled the plot and MI5 issued poster-size warnings of the chocolate to warn the public. Just think about that the next time you open a bar of Toblerone.

One-Eyed Sperm Attack The London 2012 Olympics

We’ve labeled them sperm with eyes, but other more extreme references to the Olympic Mascots –Wenlock and Mandeville - have included ‘totalitarian toys’ ‘creepy surveillance aliens’ and our favourite, ‘a drunken one-night stand between a Teletubby and a Dalek.’ The two futuristic creatures were selected over other mascot ideas including a Big Ben with arms and legs, an animated teapot, or anthropomorphic pigeons. Created with elements associated with London (they have taxi lights on their heads) Wenlock and Mandeville have been labeled downright creepy by most London citizens as the huge eyes spread like wildfire, immortalised in enormous figurines in the streets, and plastered on buses, billboards and various London 2012 merchandise. We aren’t convinced, but surely the fantastical mascots are a little less creepy than a flock of huge, talking pigeons?

Streaking Gets Pricey!

The Olympics are here, and we’ve all been told incessantly to be prepared and plan ahead before you even think about stepping out your front door. On the off chance your planned contribution to the Games (like a few others in its history) is to run freely through the crowds in nothing but your birthday suit, we are here to warn you of the consequences! That’s right, streaking at any Olympic event could cost you a little more than dignity, in fact you’ll be charged a huge £20,000 for getting your bits out for the whole world to see. A man with ‘Free Tibet’ scribbled across his back disrupted the torch relay a couple of weeks back in Henley-on-Thames, prancing around with his very own fake flame to make sure all the spectators along the route got a decent eyeful. In his vain attempt to give Tibet liberation, poor Mr Leer is now nursing an empty wallet.

Slutty Olympians Promote Safe Sex

What happens when you throw a few thousand sweaty, toned athletes into one small Olympic Village? They turn into dogs on heat and have sex everywhere, “right out in the open,” according to US Goalkeeper Hope Solo. Supposedly good old Britain is hosting the ‘raunchiest’ Olympic games ever, apparently with at least 70% of athletes getting it on with each other. You’d think after the years of training and preparation and honing their skills, the Olympic athletes would want to save every last grain of energy for their big day. That is until the news rolled in that Locog are providing a grand total of 150,000 condoms for athletes staying in the Olympic Village, a supply which isn’t considered as particularly excessive for the sexually-charged competitors. Solo claims their doing it “on the grass, in between buildings, people are getting down and dirty!” The toned animals!

“If I Feel Faint, I Eat A Cube Of Cheese!”

The famously nonsensical diet that Emily Blunt’s character in ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ refers to may not be as ridiculous as you thought. All you weight-watching, calorie-counting, salad-munching beings who view the glorious, glistening chunks of fat-harbouring cheese as a one way ticket to a life-time of obesity, wobbly bits and health problems, may need to sit back and reconsider the sheer brilliance of this fantastic animal bi-product. In large quantities; good for your waistline it is not, but scientists say that snacking on small quantities of cheese could reduce the risk of you developing Type 2 diabetes by 12%. Although still unsure, they believe it stems from the fermentation process. Who knew mold would ever significantly improve your general health? So whether you have a penchant for camembert, or an insatiable desire for a moldly blue-type, a gooey brie, or maybe an addiction to good old, reliable cheddar, whip out the crackers and indulge in good bit of healthy eating.

Koreans Can Ride It

Desperate for the toning benefits of horse-riding, but don’t have a hooved, four-legged friend to saddle up and ride off into the sunset with? Lucky for you, the Koreans have come up with an exercise contraption that will tone your core, butt and thighs in the comfort of your very own home! Yes, it may be just another highly over-priced gimmick, but this one comes with a laughable 6 minute long piece of video footage that is sure to trigger infectious giggling. The ‘Ace Power fitness machine’ allows you to bounce, grind, and gyrate on the small seat that supposedly mimics the movement of a horse, but in actual fact, all the demo models in the video seem to be participating in is overly suggestive sexual movements. They spend most of the 6 minutes thrusting in an enthusiastic manner. After carefully applying our in-depth fitness knowledge we’ve come up with a better solution: get laid!

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SPORT Hot Les Action

Ever heard of Les Davies? Probably not, unless you’re easily confused and think he was the bloke who used to host Family Fortunes. Well Davies is a Welsh footballing wizard who is being talked about in the same breath as Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo after being named as one of the 32 nominees for UEFA’s outstanding performer of the year. So who is this unknown gem then? Is he a young ‘Gareth Bale’ type player making a name for himself in the lower leagues perhaps? Or maybe he’s been quietly turning heads in the Bundesliga for years, like Owen Hargreaves did before becoming a cripple. The answer is none of the above. Les is a 27-year-old midfielder who plays for Bangor. He somehow managed to get nominated for the award thanks to a Welsh journalist who is presumably either joking, or knows shag all about football beyond the valleys of Cymru. “The phone hasn’t stopped ringing with people wanting to talk about it,” said baffled Les. “I’ve even had a message to call CNN in America. I know the likes of Messi and Ronaldo are used to all the attention, but not me. “It’s just unreal to be on the same list as them, because we are worlds apart. While they do a few training routines during the day, I’m in a factory on a local industrial estate, Monday to Friday, working for a firm that produces safety equipment for things like rock climbing.” Club media officer Huw Pritchard took on the task of making his candidacy for one of UEFA’s top individual accolades sound plausible. “I wasn’t having it,” Les said. “Huw did his best, but I was sure it was a wind-up.” The bad news for Bangor fans is Kenny ‘Buy British’ Dalglish is no longer in charge at Liverpool, otherwise they could have expected a $35million bid by the end of the week.

Remember when Aaron Ramsey’s ankle snapped like a twig in that challenge from Ryan Shawcross, or when Fabrice Muamba keeled over on the pitch and almost died.  Well Boston Red Sox first baseman Adrian Gonzalez has picked up an eyewincing injury to top the lot. He did his back in saying hello to small child. “I have no idea how it happened,” said big wuss Gonzalez. “It was something I’ve done a million times.” The Boston Globe newspaper report that he was grabbing a cup of coffee when he bent over to say hello to the kid, only to feel his lower back lock up as he did so. The incident left the big girl’s blouse with back spasms and it took two matches before he could reclaim his place in the Red Sox line-up. It’s not the first case of a bizarre baseball-related injury either. Back in the day, Atlanta Braves’ pitcher John Smoltz wanted to look good for his side’s next game so decided to iron his jersey. The problem was he did it while wearing it. Unsurprisingly, he was badly scalded and had to sit out the next match. On the plus side, he was the most smartly-dressed patient in the burns unit. Nor is it the first time a toddler has injured a professional sportsman. When former England midfielder David Batty was still “playing” (and by “playing” we mean running around a lot and hurting people) he was just about to return from an achilles injury when he was involved in a hit and run that left him back on the treatment table. The offending driver happened to be his young daughter, who ran him over on a tricycle.

Dalglish Still Kopping It

Sir Alex Ferguson has gotten the build-up to the new Premier League campaign officially under way after delivering his traditional pre-season jibe at Liverpool. The purple-nosed Scotch pensioner decided to go for a classic dig to kick things off, reprising the much-loved “Evra race row” debate and claiming it was the main reason Kenny Dalglish was sacked. “I wasn’t surprised at Kenny leaving,” he tartaned. “Their owner, John Henry, has obviously looked at that (incident) and felt it wasn’t handled in the right way. It certainly wasn’t a nice thing to happen and it must have been part of it.” Presumably the fact that Liverpool spent a squajillion pounds on players and finished eighth didn’t help Dalglish’s cause either.  But the real question is why Ferguson is even bothering trying to stir up trouble at Liverpool when they’re perfectly capable of doing it themselves. A ball hasn’t even been kicked yet and they’ve already been forced into a U-turn following their pursuit of Fulham’s Clint Dempsey. At the time of going to print, Fulham were still trying to keep hold of the midfielder – but that didn’t stop Liverpool’s owners, Fenway Sports, claiming on their website that the deal was done. An article titled “Liverpool gear up for North American Tour as Clint Dempsey joins club” had to be swiftly removed as Liverpool fans across the world logged on for details of the deal. As the news began to spread, furious Fulham were forced to issue a statement confirming Dempsey was not on his way to Anfield.  “‘It is totally not true. We have not received any bids,” said a Fulham spokesman.  Great to see nothing much has changed at Anfield. And we haven’t even mentioned Andy Carroll...

Are You Kidding?

Costume Drama

Hot women in swimsuits, girls ripping each other’s clothes off, moist genitals being pounded hard. It might sound like a typical night online for BBM, but we’re talking about the sexiest most brutal sport out there. Move over beach volleyball, water polo’s in town. There’s a chance that you’re reading this after the Olympic water polo finals have taken place. If not, make sure that the missus is in bed then stay up to watch it. Because from what we’re hearing from the Aussie coaches of both the men and women’s team, it’s gonna be quite an eyeful. And not always in a good way.  Check out John Fox, who coached the men’s team at the Beijing Games and is masterminding their campaign in London. “Obviously, in the swimsuit area, there are particular regions that you don’t want to get grabbed,’’ the aptlynamed Cox said. ‘‘If a player is deliberately or continually making a play to grab you around the testicles, or in that area, it’s a bit of an unwritten rule that I instruct my players don’t put up with it. Let them know it’s not on. You’ve got to do it in a way that’s not above the water.” It’s making our eyes water just thinking about it. But now for the good bit. The same thing happens in the women’s event, and sometimes their lithe bodies can get a little, ahem, exposed from all the girl on girl action. “A lot of the time, the girls are losing their cossies because they get ripped,” McFadden said. “In women’s water polo there is probably a lot more grabbing, because there is a lot more cossie. Wherever there there is some material, that’s an easy place to grab … with women, you can grab them in the middle of the back, in the middle of the chest – wherever you want, basically.’’ You heard it folks, girls fondling each other until their clothes fall off. Now, where’s the Kleenex?

The Wiggins Takes It All

We here at BBM would like to congratulate Bradley Wiggins for his Tour de France victory, the first Brit ever to do it. Huzzah! Take that you French cocks!  And what a role model for Britain’s youngsters. Not only has he proven what can be achieved through sheer guts, determination and ambition (not like that Scotch loser Andy Murray - twat), he’s also come up with some Dalai Lama style quotes to inspire us in our endeavours through life. So to celebrate Wiggins’ fine achievement, and to highlight why we think he is someone kids everywhere should look up to, we’ve compiled some of his best quotes from over the course of the Tour. Take it away Bradley. Children take note. Bradley on online critics: “I say they’re just fucking wankers. I cannot be doing with people like that. It justifies their own bone-idleness because they can’t ever imagine applying themselves to do anything in their lives. It’s easy for them to sit under a pseudonym on Twitter and write that sort of shit, rather than get off their arses in their own lives and apply themselves and work hard at something and achieve something. And that’s ultimately it. C*nts.” Bradley on becoming famous: “You get really good at ignoring people and it is an incredible bubble to be in, but in a nice way. I remember Keith Richards saying ‘with a gram of smack, you can walk through anything. I’m not going to adhere to that, but you can understand why they used to - it’s not really reality.” Bradley on what his late father would think of his win: “I don’t know, really - it’s difficult to say, it depends whether he was sober.”

Stat Attack

Someone call David Copperfield. Apparently the A-League’s newest club, the Western Sydney Wanderers, are pondering over the idea of making a statue of rugby league legend Ray Price disappear when they play their debut home game at Parramatta Stadium. They want to give the ground a more “footbally” feel instead of standing in the shadow of the Eels, who have been playing at the stadium for years. There’s an outside possibility the Wanderers’ might pull the same stunt as the Brisbane Roar, who draped a statue of revered rugby league legend Wally Lewis in a Roar jersey for last year’s grand final at Suncorp Stadium. BBM suggests the Lego approach simply make the head detachable, then you could swap Price’s head with that of Craig Foster or Harry Kewell... or someone who isn’t a cock. “In relation to Parramatta Stadium, it’s a multi-purpose venue owned by the government, so I’m sure league fans would understand why we would want to make it feel like a real football stadium if the Wanderers play there,” a club spokesman said. “There’s a precedent here. The Brisbane Roar put a Roar jersey on the Wally Lewis statute at Suncorp Stadium for the ‘Orange Sunday’ grand final [in 2011], so maybe the Ray Price stature with a Wanderers jersey for home games is the right idea.” A Wanderers fan club representative, Sean Herrett, said the plans had the backing of supporters. “The fans really love the idea of making sure the Wanderers’ home games are played in an authentic football atmosphere and surrounds,” Herrett said “We want to have a say about naming the grandstands and the terraces after legends of Australian football, like Johnny Warren.” The more interesting question for Herrett is how the fuck do you become a fan club representative when the team doesn’t even exist yet? Weirdo.

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SPORT The Bogan Olympics The Olympic Games is the pinnacle of sporting achievement. There are others – namely the World Cup – which attempt to rival the Olympics; but, try as they might, and as popular as they are, just cannot compete with the prestige and the glory of being named the best in the world at not having a proper job. (But who am I to throw stones? A man sitting in his pants in front of a laptop sniping at people capable of doing things of which he can only dream.) Yep, the Olympics is without equal and stands alone atop the highest mountain mocking the plebs below. After all, what else can make people give the tinniest shit about table tennis but the Olympic Games. The history, the honour, the feeling of profound accomplishment – why should it be reserved for athletes at the peak of physical and mental fitness, capable of performing sporting endeavours to inspire awe amongst all people of the world? Why the elitism? Drunken redneck hicks are just as capable of inspiring and performing sporting feats to… well, some sort of standard. They may not be able to run very fast, jump very high, or go an hour without getting so shitfaced they can’t make it through an episode of Home and Away, but in their own domain they’re capable of wonderful feats of skill and peculiar athleticism. So, we at BBM propose an opportunity for these top blokes to demonstrate their prowess in front of the watching world: The Bogan Olympics. It’s a salt of the earth, no nonsense occasion. No fancy modern technology kits. No body hugging lycra. It’s ripped jeans, stubbie shorts, band t-shirts, and flip-flops all the way. The opening ceremony will be a sight to behold and will surely rival the iconic occasions of the past. A Parkinson’s raddled Muhammad Ali shakily lighting the torch at Atlanta 96 cannot compare with the awesome sight of the Bogan nation parading around the stadium (a dusty lawn) with poles high in the air displaying their flags (wife-beaters and flannel shirts on a stick), and dodging beer cans, car parts, and broken Utes, before igniting the Bogan Olympic Torch (setting fire to a pile of tyres). After trying their little hearts out, can you imagine the glory and pride the winners will feel as they stand on the podium, eyes welling with tears and mullets swaying in the wind, as Highway to Hell, by AC/DC (the Bogan anthem), blasts through the stadium/wrecked dustbowl of a lawn.

Without further ado, we give you the events that will form the core of the Bogan Olympics.

The Beer Marathon

The event that every future Bogan will dream about winning as a child. (Or just taking part - any opportunity to get shit-faced.) The event consists of downing as many cans of VB, Castlemaine XXXX, or Heineken stubbies as possible before passing out drunk in a recliner. As you can imagine, due to the vast numbers of potentially world-class competitors, this event will be the most hotly contested of the Bogan Olympics. Numerous Tysons, Bazzas, and a few Brittanys are heavily fancied to win gold.

Immigrant Baiting

Coming over here not learning to speak the lingo and taking the jobs you don’t want. Repetition and lack of intelligence is of extra importance in this event – as is the compulsory viewing of A Current Affair to really, and unnecessarily, rile the blood. Points will be awarded for the most baffling and unintelligible complaints about no-good foreign folk; e.g. everyone called Iqbal must be a terrorist.

100-Metre Benefit Dash

The best way to get a Bogan moving with the speed of a normal person is to threaten it with work. So competitors’ Newstart Allowances will be placed on a table at the end of the track, and those who finish outside of the medal positions will be forced to take up gainful employment that matches well with their skills, experience, and education – such as… erm… erm… erm…

Long Jump

Olympians always seem to be keen to get the crowd to clap along as they stand on the track before they make their approach for the long jump. Bogan Olympians may also choose to do this as they lean out of the window of their Holden Commodore before powering towards the long jump ramp. Home-made steel spoilers may or may not improve performance of the car in mid-air, and extra points will be given if the old piece of shit actually survives the landing.

110-Metre ‘Fuck-Hurdle’ The Bogan is known for its prodigious swearing (every second word is fuck), so while jumping a hurdle it must be accompanied with a shout of ‘fuck’. A millisecond will be knocked off the finishing time for doubling up on the swears – e.g. mutha fuck – or impressive variety of colourful language… you thundercunts.

Darts

Yep, darts. It’ll be a hell of a fucking show! By Peter Simpson

The ‘Ugg Put’

Probably more an event for the ladies/Sheilas (yep, I’m English). Placing the sole of the Ugg boot to the side of the neck and putting the palm of the hand against the edge of the boot, competitors will attempt to launch it as far as possible in the style of the shot put. (Note: yeah, I know it would make more sense to throw the boot like a discus, or like the hammer throw, but ‘Ugg Put’ sounds better than ‘Ugg Discus.)

Synchronised Wife-Beating

Points for technique, execution, and synchronicity. Competitors may choose for their routine to be completely identical, or they may opt for a pinwheel (opposite) display of world-class wife-beating. Should the team go for a pinwheel display then more importance is placed on the synchronicity of the slaps, yelling at neighbours to mind their own business, and making excuses to the police.

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GET LATE Have you ever been out and having such a good time that you just didn’t want it to end? Only for that feeling to be thwarted by the lights going up and the staff kicking your ass out at 3am. Sometimes you’re just not ready to go home, so here at BBM we’ve found you the best kick-on clubs in Sydney and Melbourne for your sleep-avoiding pleasure.

Sydney One22

This is a basement you do want to be in. One22 only opened its doors early this year (and hasn’t closed them till 5am most nights since). Promised to be the unadorned home for electronic music in the heart of the city – and that’s exactly what it is. This understated venue is a little on the small side, but that adds to it’s charm, with it’s wall to ceiling sound system and fresh international DJs dropping in from time to time, at a small charge, you’ll feel right at home if you’re even remotely in to electronic music. You’ll feel equally at home on One22’s dance floor, but get on there fast as it’s not empty for long. The best part is there is no dress code at One22. Wear what you want, what’s important at One22 is you know what music you like and, most importantly, how to have a good time. 122 Pitt Street, Sydney, NSW 2000 (02) 9235 3999

Spice Cellar

This is a haven, a halfway house for those who love to explore the nightlife and live for burning that midnight oil. Spice Cellar is a slick outfit with low ceilings and a dark vibe - you’ll be forgiven for thinking that this is a little slice of Berlin in Sydney. The weekly afterhours night Spice is the obvious haunt for anyone part of the kick-on crew. But if you’re not a fan of staying up ‘til the early morn, you could drop in early and have a cocktail and who knows perhaps you’ll get attached and stay until morning, because you can. Whether it’s 4pm or 4am you’ll find what you were looking for at the Spice Cellar. Basement Level, 58 Elizabeth Street, Sydney, NSW 2000 (02) 9223 5585 www.thespicecellar.com.au

The World Bar

With a queue outside every Friday and Saturday night this place is popular and for good reason. A stronghold for the Deep House aficionados and a great place to chill over some beers or get hype over some shots out of a teapot and dance with your friends. Dust is The World Bar’s premier party night and a perfect destination for lovers of good music and a penchant for not going to sleep, providing the soundtrack to your Sunday night. But if that’s not for you WHAM! is for the Indie Alternative types amongst you. Happening every Saturday night, get ready to throw some shapes on the dance floor because the DJs know how to mix an indie-palooza for your aural pleasure. 24 Batswater Road, Kings Cross, Sydney, NSW 2011 (02) 9357 7700 www.theworldbar.com

Melbourne

Cocktail of the month...

Revolver Upstairs

Revolver Upstairs is notorious for staying up all night and all day on weekends, anyone who’s been to Melbourne and knows about how to party have heard of this place. Revs (as it’s affectionately known as to the locals) houses the top DJs, live music, dance, film and a host of things that you can’t even imagine. With its eccentric furnishings and bold shades of orange in murals, upside down lamp shades and strangely placed chicken wire, you can tell you’re in for the a crazy night. There’s always going to be something going on at Revs no matter the night of the week, and you’re almost guaranteed a good time. It’s so good that you might have to queue for a while. 229 Chapel Street Pranhan, VIC 3181 (03) 9521 5985 www.revolverupstairs.com.au

Pony Club

The Pony Club is an alternative place where alternative people, bands and artists feel drawn on Thursdays, Friday and Saturdays. The Pony Club is a great kick-on club as it’s open ‘til 5am or 7am most nights. It’s a typical Grunge club affair, sticky floors and retro fad couches contrasted with deep red walls and hanging chandeliers offering a little chic in an otherwise standard gig venue. However with six beers on tap and plenty more bottles and a cosy selection of wines to choose from in the downstairs bar, it’s worth giving this little mysterious bar a chance. For those that like their music deep, underground and dirty, even the pony on the door has a good time, pint in hoof. 68 Little Collins Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 (03) 9662 1026 www.pony.net.au

The Motel

Considering itself at the forefront of Melbourne’s club scene, Motel shines through the rough of all the other clubs in Melbourne. Having recently gone through a complete renovation. Taking itself to new levels of luxury and elegance, featuring the best DJ-ing talent both locally and internationally to fuel the dance floor all night long. Friday nights are home to ‘Remember Me’ taking you to Ibiza with commercial clubhouse at the top and mash up fun down in the bottom lobby bar. Saturdays see Paul Laver taking over for an exclusive party atmosphere. And last but not least Sunday nights open up the city night skyline with the terrace deck. 172 York Street, South Melbourne, VIC 3205 (03) 9645 5277 www.themotel.com.au By Phillip Andre

One For The Girls:

Cuban Mojito No frills or flash, your classic mojito it just a tad sophisticated. And it tastes bloody great. 6 fresh mint leaves 2 Shots Jiggers Gold Rum 1tsp lime juice 2tsp superfine sugar Ice Club Soda Crush leaves in the bottom of a tall glass. Pour in rum, lime juice, and sugar. Add ice, stir and top with club soda.

And One For The Guys:

Clove Julep There is something eloquent and gentleman-like about clove-infused vodka, with its musky taste and hint of spice. Looks great with a suit! 5 fresh mint sprigs 3 teaspoons superfine sugar Ice 2 shots Jiggers clove-infused vodka Crush the mint sprigs with sugar in the bottom of an 8 ounce glass. Add ice and vodka, garish with a small sprig of mint for a no frills, manly cocktail.

CRYSTAL BALLS Taurus

After a supernatural prophecy from three witches in medieval Scotland, and at the urging of your wife, you commit regicide and become the King of Scotland. Thereafter, you live in anxiety and fear, unable to rest or to trust the nobles who serve you. You lead a reign of terror until you are defeated and beheaded by Macduff. The throne is then restored to the rightful heir, the murdered King Duncan’s son, Malcolm. Out vile jelly!

a trial, just head straight to Old Trafford. There’s a four-year contract worth $100,000 that needs your signature on it. You agree and put the phone down. Then you pick it up again and phone your mates to make sure it’s not a wind up. It’s not. It’s the real thing. You book the next flight to Manchester, call your boss, tell him to go fuck himself, then head to the airport. While you’re on the 27-hour flight back home, the Old Trafford medical team discover Ferguson has had a massive stroke that has left him mentally retarded. In his enfeebled state he called six other players from the Eastern Suburbs to join the club. He’s little more than a drooling fool by the time you arrive. You try to explain what happened to temporary United boss Mike Phelan, but he just laughs hysterically for 18 minutes before you realise he’s not going to stop until you leave. It was fun while it lasted.

You become an Elvis impersonator. Unfortunately, it’s not the “Hunka, Hunka burnin’ love” he was in 1956, it’s the fat burger-munching “hound dog” he was in 1973. You die on the toilet in a big nappy a year later munching on Big Macs.

It’s every man’s worst nightmare. Important interview... hot date... you wake up in the morning, with an old man’s head. Clegg Head syndrome affects one in every 346 men but is sadly incurable. Get used to it granddad.

I was literally just looking at your fortune for this month but I got distracted by an advert for longer, lasting, loving and can’t remember what it was. Something to do with a genie I think. I’m trying to remember but... No, it’s gone. Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Stop pressuring me, stop pressuring me, stop pressuring me - it makes me wanna scream. Haaarrrr!!!

I’m as serious as Taurus, when I say rhythm is a tortoise.

Cancer

Leo Our resident psychic, Crystal, tells you your fortune for the month...

Aries

Brian Ferry of Roxy Music fame dies this month and, in his will, he reveals that you are his illigitimate child. Gods bodkins! Turns out he had an illicit affair with early 90s one-hit wonder Whigfield - and you are the result. Alas, he doesn’t leave you any money - just his stage presence, which is basically just him swaying side to side looking slightly constipated.

Virgo

I haven’t got time to do your horoscope this month. I’ve got an appointment at a lazer clinic to have my pubes zapped off in 10 minutes. It’s been a jungle down there for years. When I went for my initial consultation and probing, they found one of Tiger Woods’ golf balls in my bush. Talk about finding the rough.

Libra

Sagittarius

Craig Foster is a cock.

Gemini

The phonecall you’ve been waiting for all your life finally comes. It’s Alex Ferguson. His scouts have been closely watching the Eastern Suburbs Football Association All Age Division Four this season, eager to unearth any hidden gems. They’ve spotted you. They’re interested. And if they’re interested, he’s interested. Very interested. He’s got footage of you in action. He likes what he’s seen. No need for

Pisces

Aquarius Scorpio

You learn to play the bit at the end of the theme from Hollyoaks on guitar. A productive month.

Capricorn

Holy Harbour Bridge Batman! While out drinking in Sydney, you meet Burt Ward - the actor who played Robin in the original camp 60s TV series of Batman. It makes your night, and soon there are pictures of you and him plastered all over Facebook. Unfortunately, you get a little too drunk and end up giving him a blowjob in the toilets. Every time you see those pictures afterwards you feel dirty, and when people try and get you to talk about what he was like you just go quiet and start crying.

ASK CRYSTAL Dear Crystal, I was out clubbing last weekend when I saw the girl of my dreams. I went up to her, asked her for a drink and, to my joy, she said yes. We had a great time, a bit of a snog, then I got her number and she went home. I’m meeting her for a proper date this weekend, but there’s a problem. It’s my job. I don’t know how to tell her, but I’m a professional begger. I dress in charity store clothes and sit outside Kings Cross train station with a cardboard sign around my neck explaining my sob story. Occasionally, if it’s a slow day, I pretend I’m being attacked by chimps, or start screaming that I’m on fire. I’m earning around $500 a day so I don’t really want to give it up - but what should I do? Yours, Ben Dear Ben, $500 for sitting on your arse all day raving about imaginary monkeys?! Jesus, I’m in the wrong job. The answer to your solution is a simple one - but I’ll only tell you if you give me some advice on the best spots to beg. And to think when I used to work as a prostitute in the Cross I’d always look down on beggers. Dear Crystal, I’ve always admired your column. Your wit, insight and total lack of regard for the consequences of your often filthy advice is an inspiration to a young reader like myself. My question is how do I follow in your footsteps? I’d love to do something like this column, dispensing advice to those in need. Yours, Sarah Dear Sarah, Screw that, you can have my job if you really want it. Did you read that last letter? The streets of Kings Cross are paved with gold (and used condoms). If you really want to become an agony aunt, just remember the most important rule. Never, ever, allow yourself to be held legally accountable for the actions of those operating under your advice. I almost got in trouble once when I advised Miley Cyrus to come clean to the media about her affair with a famous cricketer. I’m still not legally allowed to say his name, but let’s just say if I was to take a “Punt” on who this former Australia captain is, it wouldn’t be “Tricky Pointing” him out of a line-up.

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EMPLOYMENT, TAX & VISAS I heard there are changes happening to migration on the first of July, how will this affect me? Firstly, these changes only really affect general skilled migration. Other migration programs such as Employer Sponsored will remain largely unchanged. The only change affecting the employer sponsored and skilled visas is that there will be a consolidation of lists of occupations. The Department will also streamline the processing of employer sponsored visas and make the transition for temporary to permanent easier for applicants. This is of particular significance for 457 holders, or people wishing to apply for 457 visas. General skilled migration is completely changing with the introduction of SkillSelect. Applicants lodge an expression of interest and then they will be invited to apply based on their EOI. Applicants will then have their applications placed on a database for potential employers or state sponsorship. Essentially, this new process will speed up processing times. For the old system of general skilled migration, processing times were 20 months+. This new system will simplify the process. The Department of Immigration is estimating a 9 month processing time. Other visas such as partner visas will remain unaffected.

Have a question about immigration? ask the experts: rossana@immiexperts.com.au or check out the forum on www.immiexperts.com.au

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CLASSIFIEDS

ADULT EMPLOYMENT

Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.) There is a map to guide you to us. Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road.

When overseas, many travellers will work in jobs that they would not necessarily do at home. Sydney offers loads of well paid opportunities in â&#x20AC;&#x153;no sexâ&#x20AC;? adult club work such as bar attending, drink waitressing, massage, paid escorting and dancing.

Female Masseurs

Training provided Required Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Choose a company where you are given the facts, training and $115 p/hr Foxtel and internet job requirements up front. Ask questions when speaking with your potential employer other staff. A happy environment FullandTraining Provided access for staff where the staff are friendly is a great indication that it is a Friendly Female management good place to work. Before going to the actual establishment, Immediate Start Located in the heart of Sydney have a good look around the company website. Earn $150+ per hour Flexible Shifts

NO SEX

www.sirs.com.au 80 ERSKINE ST. SYDNEY CBD

92997771

Fun & Friendly Girls Team

(02) 96990055 Contact NIRVANA 400 Cleveland St, info@what-media.com Surry Hills

for www.nirvanasydney.com.au advertising

261 Parramatta Rd Broadway 02 9660 0666 www.kingscourt.com.au

BBMLIVE.COM

Female Masseurs required $115 p/hr Full training provided Immediate Start Flexible shifts Fun & friendly girls team

(02) 9357 6145 AT MICHELLES

135 Bayswater Rd Rushcutters Bay www.atmichelles.com ADULT

EMPLOYMENT

219 Croydon ATTRACTIVE LADIES

WANTED Busy day time parlour Guaranteed big money Flexible shifts Immediate start Please call or text

0404404742

219 Elizabeth St Croydon

-BEJFT SFR (VBSBOUFFE #VTJFTU E E #FTU 3BUF JO 4ZEOFZ 63(&/5 &"3/ , 1&3 4)*'5 1"*% %"*-: /P FYQFSJFODF SFRVJSFE GVMM USBJOJOH BOE GSFF BDDPNNPEBUJPO ,JOH 4U /FXUPXO 4U 1FUFST XXX BNPSF DPN BV

KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning. Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.) There is a map to guide you to us. Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road. 261 Parramatta Rd Broadway 02 9660 0666 www.kingscourt.com.au

www.sydneyoutcalls.com Exclusive Escort Agency Top $$$ paid Close to Sydney CBD Hours to suit Free Accommodation Call 02 9319 0867 or 0430 285 685

Behind each successful woman Adult employment is-HERSELF!!!

GOOD GIRLS GO TO HEAVEN!! BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE!!

Training provided Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Foxtel and internet access for staff Friendly Female management Located in the heart of Sydney Earn $150+ per hour

NO SEX

www.sirs.com.au

80 ERSKINE ST. SYDNEY CBD

92997771

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BBM-608 // CLASSIFIEDS

219 Croydon ATTRACTIVE LADIES

TRAVEL - NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do SKYDIVING Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING Shotover Jet

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Going to Fiji?

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

ACCOMMODATION Beachcomber Island Resort Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

river boarding Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

Accommodation Christchurch City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Queenstown

auckland

Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

Franz Josef Glacier

Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

The Beachouse Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com Smugglers Cove Beach Resort & Hotel P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport. Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

wellington Robinson Crusoe Island Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

The Uprising Beach Resort 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com Nadi Bay Resort Hotel Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ Nadi Bay Downtown Backpackers Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

MUST DO Skydiving

Skydive Fiji 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj

‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

Scuba Diving

Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company. Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.

AUSTRALIA - THINGS TO DO Skydiving

Scuba Diving Australia

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

PRODIVE CAIRNS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au

SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS

Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY

P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS

1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra, QLD, 4551 Ph: +61 7 5437 0211 Mob: +61 0418 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au/

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR

P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs

SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au

SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY

36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com

SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH

51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

116 Spence Street, Cairns QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 5255 www.prodivecairns.com

THE SCUBA CENTRE

Surf Schools SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au

Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE

MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING

Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, Western Australia Free: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au

Adventure Tours GOIN SOUTH

Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au

TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM

Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg SA 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au

A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING

McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au

L4, 362 Kent St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com

BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com

PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au

BALLOON SUNRISE

PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

Kite Surfing KITESURF 1770

The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING

KITE REPUBLIC

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS

3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com

MOJO SURF

Ph: 1800 113 044 www.mojosurf.com.au

SURF SHACK

Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au

GO SURFING BYRON BAY

Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com

LETS GO SURFING

Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au

SURFING AUSTRALIA

Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com

PARADISE JET BOATING

Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Bike Riding Tours ESCAPE GOAT

Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

Zorb Balls OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball. Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au

Marine Charters

Wine and Beer Tours

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS

PRIME MINI TOURS

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS

2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

ADVENTURE KAYAKING

7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

JET SKI SAFARIS

Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

Melrose Park, South Australia 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com

CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR

Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au

BIG NIGHT OUT IN SURFERS PARADISE Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net

PARTY IN CAIRNS

Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au

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