BBMLive February 2017 Tabloid

AUSTRALIA

BBMLIVE.COM WORK & TRAVEL FREE #904 | Australia’s no.1 publication for Brits, Irish & Internationals

Interview

BASEMENT JAXX ON HOW TO TROUNCE TRUMP What’s On Around

Australia?

The Real Festival season is in full flow Down Truth Under with Days Like This, Pitch Music & Behind Arts Festival, and a whole lot more. Take at our ‘Pick of the Fests’ to find Australia’s aoutlook what’s coming up in a city near you Need For on page 9.

Nurses Expat services: Find out how to apply Find out just why Australia is desperate for health care workers and how you can secure a job on page 20.

for your second year working holiday and get shipping tips for moving back home. Plus find out more about securing temp work for your working holiday in Australia or Sponsorship if you’re in it for the long haul on pages 16-19.

TRAVEL:

Find out where you can “Digitally Detox” around Australia

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PROPER BOOZERS & EXPAT HANGOUTS KEG & BREW

With over 30 taps, this pub is where you’ll get an extensive selection of craft beers, ciders and golden oldies. If you’re a real connosieur then the Keg & Brew is where you can get your fill.

Hungry?

26 Foveaux St, Surry Hills www.kegandbrew.com.au

THE ARGYLE

Situated in one of Sydney’s oldest buildings, The Argyle (pictured) in The Rocks area of town presents five bars over 2 floors.

With resident DJs and musicians regularly hypnotising you with their sound, The Argyle is one of the best places to get your party fix on almost any night of the week. Here, you can expect $5 happy hour drinks from 5-7pm every day, as well as delicious pizzas, and deserts to keep you satisfied. From sneaky hidden booths, to chilled out lounges, an outdoor area and dancefloor The Argyle has something to suit everyone. Don’t miss the Argyle’s Sunday Social every week from 9pm with DJs on the deck to help round off your weekend nicely.

18 Argyle St, The Rocks www.urbanpurveyor.com

THE PORTERHOUSE

Looking for a traditional pub with excellent pub gub and food deals throughout the week? Look no further than this traditional Irish boozer in the heart of Surry Hills serving up Guiness as well as pub stapes such as Steak & chips at great prices.

233 Riley Street, Surry Hills www.porterhouse.com.au

THE DOG RANDWICK

From great food to a great atmosphere there’s no better place to hangout after work or on the weekend. With 2 for 1 meals on Tuesdays, and quizzes on Wednesdays, there’s always plenty going on here to keep you entertained.

2 St Marks Road, Randwick www.doghotel.com.au

Immerse yourself in amongst an Asian style boozer complete with Bintang Jugs and Katsu Curry.

Don’t miss happy hour from Wednesday to Saturday - 4 - 8pm.

120 Exhibition St, Melbourne www.europeanbiercafe.com.au

P.J. O’BRIENS

Chruchill’s have an exceptional menu where you can enjoy a schnitzel and beer for just $15.

Here, you can also check out all the latest sport live on their screens.

532 Anzac Parade, Kingsford churchillsbar.com.au

This Irish themed chain of pubs will certainly give you the feel of a traditional Irish pub. With live trad music, Guinness, Sunday roasts, pies and more, it’s the perfect place to cosey up on a Sunday for some TLC in the form of great ales and comfort food!

Southgate Restaurant & Shopping Precinct, Southbank www.pjobriens.com.au

THE BAT & BALL HOTEL

THE CRAFTY SQUIRE

CHURCHILLS SPORTS BAR

Hang out of the month: Sydney

ASIAN BEER CAFE

From 10kg buckets of chicken wings to one of the best roast dinners in town, the Bat & Ball will keep you fed and watered all week with nightly meal deals at great prices.

Corner of Cleveland & South Dowling Streets, Sydney www.parksidebar.com.au

Melbourne TURF BAR

The Turf Bar is one of the most well equipped sports bars in Victoria and shows live sport all year round.

131 Queen St, Melbourne Turfbar.com.au

The Crafty Squire is a premium craft beer venue with a wide (and delicious) selection of brews on tap.

127 Russell Street, Melbourne www.thecraftysquire.com.au

Perth ROSIE O’GRADY’S

This Irish pub in Northbridge is where you can enjoy happy hour from Monday to Friday. You’ll also find great food deals every day of the week between $10$15. If you’re looking for pub atmosphere, you’ll find it here.

205 James St, Northbridge www.rosieogradys.com.au

ODIN TAVERN

Odin Tavern boasts an impressive layout of facilities with a fantastic outdoor beer garden - perfect for summertime pub sessions, full TAB set-up and pool tables available near the sports bar. With $16 steak night on Wednesdays as well as their bottle shop this place certainly know how to look after your every need.

51 Erindale Road, Balcatta, Perth www.odintavern.com.au

Brisbane PIG AND WHISTLE

The Pig and Whistle has a style and ambience all of its own and claiming a reputation as a ‘classic British pub’ get ready to fight for the best seats with some hardcore fans.

Riverside Centre123 Eagle St, Brisbane www.pignwhistle.com.au

MICK O’MALLEYS

Another great Irish pub in Brisbane, you can enjoy their Thursday special from 5-9pm every week, including BBQ Pork Ribs, slow cooked and smoked with fries, coleslaw and an ice cold stubbie of Coors beer. You can also keep up with all the latest live sport including NRL, AFL, NFL, NBA and EPL throughout the week. And what’s more is their bottle shop is open til 9pm most nights and 11pm on Fridays and Saturdays!

171 - 209 Queen St, Brisbane www.mickomalleys.com.au

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SPORTS

Rod’s had one cup too many

Passport to a better conversation

It’s been almost three decades since philosopher-poet Rod Stewart first posed the intellectual quandary “do ya think I’m sexy?” The answer then as now is “no Rod, are you pissed?”

Sometimes it’s your mum recounting everything she bought in the supermarket, sometimes it’s a mate banging on about his achievements in Football Management - whatever the reason, we’ve all got out of a crap conversation by pretending to be on the phone.

groan of apprehension when his beloved Celtic were drawn against Inverness Caley Thistle. Seeming to forget he was live on Sky Sports, Rod then asked “Is that it?” when the draw finished and applauded the commentator’s suggestion he could get a job as a bingo caller. that whistleblower Tim Robinson may have been a little over zealous with Luton Town midfielder Cameron McGeehan - who was booked after breaking his leg in a clash against Portsmouth last month.

Ref refuses to give player a break Whether it’s rolling around on the floor like they’ve been shot or falling over and holding their face after someone brushes past

them, it’s an unfortunate fact of modern football that players (we’re looking at you Ronaldo) will go to great lengths to feign injury and get rivals sent off.

But while we generally applaud referees for having the gumption to book players for faking injuries and simulation, we can’t help but feel

McGeehan was injured in a tackle with Michael Doyle in the first half of the League Two encounter on the south coast and punched the pitch in agony as he was seen to by the Hatters’ medical staff and paramedics.

Clearly concerned by this vicious assault on the turf, Robinson jogged over and showed the player a yellow card before he was carted off on a stretcher.

“Surely an element of empathy or compassion has to be shown,” said manager Nathan Jones while stabbing a voodoo doll of Robinson.

And that’s what Bayern Munich ace Thomas Muller thought he’d do rather than face a barrage of questions from reporters as speculation about his future at the club grows. Trouble is, he didn’t have his phone

Back (heel) to An Increase Basics in Cup Size First it was Manchester United’s almost unpronounceable and spell checker-wrecker midfielder Henrik Mkhitaryan finding the back of the net with a back-heeled volley, then it was Arsenal’s Olivier Giroud outdoing him with an equally impressive display of aerodynamic showboating against Crystal Palace.

But however good these goals undoubtedly were, they came at a cost to Sunday league managers everywhere. Go to any game on a Sunday morning and, after the players have almost sobered up, you’re guaranteed to see a slightly overweight ginger bloke attempt to copy Henrik and Olivier and get it catastrophically wrong, ending face first in a pile of dog shit or a used jonny.

You’ll then witness his manager losing his crap and kicking a dent in a nearby Vauxhall Astra while shouting “Fuck was that?!” before being investigated for trolling the two players on Twitter.

The World Cup in 2026 will contain a massive 48 nations for the first time after big wigs at FIFA, who have never played professional football at any level, decided they knew best.

While this means it’ll be an absolute feast of football which will seemingly never end, probably hosted in America because, well, it’s massive and America does ‘massive’ well, it does make a mockery of the whole crème de la crème that is meant to be the World Cup Finals.

We can just hear it now: “Next on BBC One our World Cup 2026 coverage continues with Djibouti versus Vanuatu”, whilst poor old ITV get the dud games like Narnia versus The Isle of Mann.

Also, consider the impact this will have on the Panini sticker album. It’ll be the size of a Subaru Impreza and cost you about 13 grand to complete. Well done, FIFA. Good plan.

SIX NATIONS 2017 It’s that time of year again when rugby fans from six different countries unite to support each of their teams as they battle it out for the Six Nations Championship.

The Six Nations Championship is without doubt the world’s greatest and most exciting rugby tournament. Each year teams from England, France, Ireland, Italy, Scotland and Wales go head to head and provide a gripping rugby tournament for rugby fans the world over to enjoy.

Scotland and Ireland will get the 2017 Six Nations Championship underway with their Saturday afternoon match in Edinburgh on 4th February.

Later that same day England and France will meet for ‘Le Crunch’ at Twickenham. The following day Italy take on Wales in Rome.

But the Six Nations won’t be going off with a hitch as it has emerged that several stars are out with various injuries. Johnny Sexton as well as Peter O’Mahony won’t be propping up Ireland in the Six Nations opener against Scotland due to Sexton suffering from a calf injury - picked up on Leinster duty - and Munster flanker O’Mahony is currently dealing with a dodgy hamstring. There’s also doubt whether Andrew Trimble will be involved too due to a tight groin.

Catch the Six Nations throughout February & March, here’s a little of what’s happening to get you in the mood. Check with your local sports bar or pub for screening times as times and dates will vary due to time zones. Dates are by GMT.

SIX NATIONS 2017 FIXTURES Round 1 4/2/17 - Scotland vs Ireland 4/2/17 - England vs France 5/2/17 - Italy vs Wales

Round 2

11/2/17 - Italy vs Ireland 11/2/17 - Wales vs England 12/2/17 - France vs Scotland

Round 3

25/2/17 - Scotland vs Wales 25/2/17 - Ireland vs France 26/2/17 - England vs Italy

Round 4

10/3/17 - Wales vs Ireland 11/3/17 - Italy vs France 11/3/17 - England vs Scotland

Round 5

18/3/17 - Scotland vs Italy 18/3/17 - France vs Wales 18/3/17 - Ireland vs England

By Richard Gadsby

And it seems our long-held suspicions were right after the clearly inebriated crooner’s guest appearance at the draw for the fifth round of the Scottish Cup. Comically, he also snubbed a handshake from SFA president Alan McRae, flailed around dramatically and gave an audible

on him - so in a MacGyver-style flash of inspired improvisation, he instead pressed his passport against his ear and spoke to that as he walked by, hoping no would notice. Alas, his plan was foiled by the fact that a passport looks nothing like a mobile phone, so the media just followed him in an attempt to grab an insight into his immediate future. Muller refused to give up the ruse though, chatting away to his passport as he made it to the sanctuary of the team bus. Well played sir. Unless, of course, it wasn’t a ruse at all and Muller is just mentally ill, in which case someone should probably give him the number of a psychiatrist pronto.

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SPORTS

Kop flak for Twitter hack This list of top players being tempted to take the bucketfuls of money on offer in the Chinese Super League seems to grow every day.

Roger and out at Superbowl

Diego Costa, Oscar, Carlos Tevez and Jamie Carragher are just a handful of the big names who have reportedly had their heads turned by the cash on offer in what is shaping up as a frightening exodus of talent. Well the good news is reports that one of those players is heading east have proven to be fake.

The bad news is it’s Jamie Carragher.

The 39-year-old Liverpool legend fuelled rumours he was off to the East after a message on his Twitter account which read. “Official announcement, delighted to announce I am coming out of retirement, looking forward to getting back on the pitch.” It was followed by a cash sign and the China flag.

Alas, it looks like we’re stuck with him a bit longer as he followed it up with: “I didn’t tweet this so it looks like I’ve been hacked! Tweet could’ve been a lot worse!! But if any Chinese club wants to give me [money money money] - [thumbs up].” Which sounds so desperate we’re not sure why he didn’t just drop his trousers and bend over.

Emmanuel Adebayor is Still a Footballer

BBM’s knowledge of American sports is generally limited to Googling cheerleaders, but even we sit up and take notice when it’s Superbowl time.

We can almost hear the roar of the crowd and the commentators now... “It’s the fourth down and metres, the quarterback has hailed Mary and ... touchgoal to the Red Sox!” Sporting drama at its best.

It emerged this week that Emmanuel Adebayor is actually still a footballer.

And this year’s match between the Atlanta Falcons and the New England Patriots is set to have a little extra spice because of Roger Goodell.

“Who he?” you may well ask. Well Goodell is the NFL Commissioner who fought hard to hand Patriots QB Tom Brady a four-game ban in the wake of the Deflategate controversy last year.

And as the Patriots cruised to a 36-17 victory over the Steelers to book their place in the Superbowl, fans began to taunt him with chants of “Ro-ger! Ro-ger!” and “Where is Roger?”, as well as a couple of banners.

Goodell sneakily avoided that game, but he will almost certainly be forced to hand the Vince Lombardi Trophy to Brady should the Patriots win the whole shebang in Houston. Brace for a tsunami of “that face when” memes if that happens.

Khan Pulls His Weight on Camera Sex tapes. Why do people in the public eye continue to make them? When June and Keith from number 12 make their tapes, it’s fine, because no one wants to see Keith’s arse going like the clappers as June wails like a banshee. But when celebs and sports stars make one, naturally everyone wants to see a bit of celebrity skin.

Boxer Amir Khan is the latest ‘star’ to

be embroiled in a sex tape saga. The Bolton-born hard man is alleged to have become a very hard man via a Skype call to a US model shortly after his $1 million 2013 marriage to Faryal Makhdoom.

And it’s certainly been Makhdoom and gloom for the poor cow, as the footage of Khan’s cane has since appeared on an American porn site.

According to reports, his ‘sex act’, which usually means yanking the plank but could be autofellatio (skillz), has certainly, ahem, ‘come’ between the pair.

The former Arsenal, Man City, Spurs and Real Madid striker – and Crystal Palace reject – is set to represent his home nation Togo in the African Cup of Nations in Gabon despite not actually playing football at club level. Or any level for that matter. Maybe he’s a ringer for various five-a-side teams at best but seriously, the guy is jobless. Surely Togo can’t be so bereft of talent that they have to enlist a player on past – and we mean past – reputation alone.

Who knows what the guy’s been up to since Palace binned him off for being an absolute waste of wages, but based on his hippy appearance, our bet is that he’s been working in Shoreditch coffee shops constantly trying to get a laugh out of the line “Dya want that ‘ToGo?” to much customer bemusement.

www.bbmlive.com

PICK OF THE FEST

PARTY IN THE PADDOCK 2017

Dara O Briain Tour

LATE NIGHT SYDNEY RECONSTRUCTED WITH BARAC & EAST END DUBS Saturday 11th February 2017 Secret Carpark Location, Sydney www.facebook.com/mantracollective

19th - 20th February 2017 Tasmania

www.partyinthepaddockfestival.com.au

SECRET GARDEN

DARKROOM PRESENTS DAX J

DAYS LIKE THIS

CHUBBY WAREHOUSE PARTY WITH SIMON CALDWELL, BEN FESTER & BOOGIE MONSTER

Friday 17th February 2017 Zoo Project, 42 Darlinghurst Rd, Potts Point, NSW www.facebook.com/darkroomtechnoclub

24th - 25th February 2017 Brownlow Hill, NSW www.secretgardenfestival.com.au

11th March 2017 Randwick Racecourse, Sydney www.dayslikethis.com.au

PITCH MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL 10th - 13th March 2017 TBA - Regional Victoria pitchfestival.com.au

THE GUM BALL 2017 21st - 23rd April 2017 Hunter Valley, NSW thegumball.com.au

BYRON BAY BLUESFEST 2017 13th - 17th April 2017 Byron Bay, NSW www.bluesfest.com.au

PURE 2017

21st April - Aukland, NZ 22nd - 24th April 2017 Sydney, Melbourne, Perth facebook.com/purecarlcox

Dara O Briain, one of the most charismatic, intelligent, fast-talking and downright funny live performers working today, will return to Australia for the time in over a decade in April 2017.

Dara is back doing what he does best with four special shows in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth. As well as his masterful stand-up work, Dara is one of the most recognisable faces on British TV, as host of the hugely successful Mock The Week, The Apprentice You’re Fired and Stargazing Live. Not forgetting his most recent shows Dara O Briain: School of Hard Sums for Dave and Dara O Briain’s Science Club for BBC2. In 2012 Dara had the honour of both presenting the 2012 BAFTA TV Awards on BBC ONE as well as himself being a nominee.

Other notable television work sees Dara as an integral member of the Three Men in a Boat, alongside Griff Rhys Jones and Rory. Since 2011,Dara has co-hosted BBC1’s astronomical show Stargazing Live alongside Professor

Brian Cox the latest installment of which Friday 17th February 2017 will broadcast from Australia in March Venue TBA 2017. soundcloud.com/chubby-music Dara is one the few performers to host successful comedy shows in both the LNDRY FEATURING JESSE UK and his native Ireland at the same Saturday 18th February 2017 time. He started his career in television Chinese Laundry club, Sydney as a children’s presenter on RTÉ whilst www.chineselaundryclub.com.au performing his first stand-up gigs on the Irish comedy circuit, after studying at University College, Dublin, where he studied Mathematical Physics.

Dara has also previously released five classic stand-up DVDs, Crowd Tickler (2015), Craic Dealer (2012), This Is The Show (2010), Dara O BriainTalks Funny Live In London (2008) and Dara O Briain Live at the Theatre Royal (2006).

Dara O Briain Australia Tour Dates 2nd & 3rd April - Sydney Opera House, Sydney - www.ticketmaster.com.au 4th April - Hamer Hall, Melbourne www.ticketmaster.com.au 8th April - Riverside Theatre, Perth www.ticketek.com.au

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Chinese Laundry

ROSE & DJ Q

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A Love Letter To Sydney

One of the best looking cities in the world, it’s hard not to fall for Sydney.

The hustle and bustle of the CBD, the pearlescence of the Sydney Opera House, and the dramatic sight of the harbour whether bathed in glorious sunshine or twinkling with the lights of the boats - it really does just look idyllic.

You may have fallen for Sydney, but a trip up the Sydney Harbour Bridge and you’ll be well and truly in love.

You wouldn’t think a steel man-made structure shaped like a coat hanger could be so majestic – but the Sydney Harbour

Bridge is something truly special. It’s undoubtedly the heart of Sydney, pulsing life into the city by connecting the north with the CBD and visible from all corners of this urban utopia.

A favourite amongst photographers, lovers, friends, families, celebrities, travellers and more – it unites us all thanks to its breathtaking views, whether you’re staring up at it from The Rocks or standing on the summit and looking out across the city.

For a truly unique view of the city, BridgeClimb Sydney are on hand to help you scale the monumental bridge for breathtaking views of this incredible city.

Climbing 1,332 steps to the top while Sydney’s traffic hums below, the anticipation

EXPLORE THE SYDNEY OUTBACK

Explore what lies beyond Sydney’s urban landscape…

Just 45 minutes from the Sydney CBD, you’re confronted with the chance to explore a slice of what Sydney was like before European settlers arrived.

Aboriginal heritage sites, the stunning Northern Beaches and Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park all await you beyond the confines of the city, so if you’re looking for a totally authentic experience whilst visiting NSW, then Sydney Outback has just the ticket.

Climb on board a 23 seat Mitsubishi Rosa tour bus and be transported away from the hustle and bustle

of the city. Whilst on this day tour from Sydney you’ll also have the chance to board a 52ft power catamaran moored at the exclusive Akuna Bay Marina in the heart of Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park.

Sydney Outback’s tours of the area combine sightseeing with sailing, hiking, finding Aboriginal Heritage Sites and spotting native wildlife making for an excellent day’s escape from the city.

With access to of outof-the-way gems only frequented by locals, you’ll gain an insight to the real Australia.

For those picture perfect moments, you can enjoy

panoramic views over Broken Bay, Lion Island, Palm Beach, Pittwater and the Central Coast. Whilst on the tour you can see first hand what Sydney Harbour may have looked like over 250 years ago prior to European arrivals. The tour gives you the chance to see rare Aboriginåal rock art only accessible via the waterways in an area that has one of the highest concentrations of Aboriginal artefacts in the world. Whilst here you’ll also have the chance to see Aboriginal cultural demonstrations.

Sydney Outback provides tours with a difference. The educated, knowledgeable and friendly guides can help you discover more about what interests you the most in this region, and provide city hotel pick-ups, transfers and meals for your time in the Sydney Outback.

The Wilderness + Aboriginal Explorer + Cruise are $149 but you can claim 20% off by quoting bbmlive when booking directly online at

www.sydneyoutback.com.au

of what lies before you increases with every step.

And trust us when we say that you won’t get a view like this from anywhere else in the city. With climbs at different times of the day, you could see Sydney with a peachypink dawn sky, a flaming orange sunset, or twinkling in the darkness.

The view, the colours, the emotion – the Sydney Harbour Bridge is all about moments that take your breath away, which is why it has become the number one spot in Sydney to pop the question – because where better to profess your love for another than with this beautiful backdrop?

BridgeClimb Sydney is available for dawn, day, twilight and night climbs with prices starting from $158pp, so you just have to choose the one that suits you. Do you want to witness Sydney waking up with sunrise, or watch people go about their day under the midday sun? Or how about seeing the city light up as Sydney’s nightlife kicks into gear?

The scenes from the bridge are so different through the day, we wouldn’t blame you if you embarked on BridgeClimb Sydney more than once.

Take on the Sydney Harbour Bridge with BridgeClimb Sydney and continue your romance with one of the most stunning cities in the world.

Book your climb at www.bridgeclimb.com

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EXPAT INTERVIEW We now have our application for Permanent Residency pending approval. Again, this is nominated through Chris’ work and requires his job to still be on the Skilled Occupation List. The process has been long (and expensive) requiring lots of paperwork, police checks and health checks! The minimum timeframe for approval is 6 months – fingers crossed we’ll be there soon!”

Name: Millie Deighton & Chris Hill Age: 27 Where are you from: Plymouth, UK Current Location: Sydney Occupations: Millie – Executive Assistant, Chris – Service Manager

What was your journey to deciding to live in Australia?

“I had just finished university and Chris and I felt it a good time to go travelling. We had a one way ticket to Sydney with the

intention of backpacking around the country. However plans quickly changed and Chris was quickly offered sponsorship to stay and work here for 4 years”.

What steps have you had to take with regards to visa applications?

“We originally entered Australia on Working Holiday visas which were easy to apply for online and inexpensive.

Sport is also huge part of Australian culture and is easily accessible, even for big International games. Whether its Rugby Union or League, AFL or cricket, there is something for everyone here and going to games is a lot of fun!”

Is there anything you miss from home?

“Other than friends and family, not so much now. Initially there were certain shops and foods that I missed, but I soon forgot about them (that’s until I stumbled across a British Sweet Shop and buy the entire place!!)”

Have you tried anything new since living in Australia?

“We have started scuba diving since moving to Australia, and have become obsessed! There are so many awesome dive sites in and around Sydney, let alone Australia.”

Are there any must do or see experiences that you would recommend in Australia?

“State of Origin is a game you have to see live at least once, even if you’re not a rugby league fan!

The atmosphere at the games is incredible, especially at the Suncorp Stadium in Brisbane - if you’re brave enough!

And for scuba diving enthusiasts, like us, a visit to the Great Barrier Reef is a must! But also Broughton Island in Port Stephens, NSW is a great dive spot to see Grey Nurse sharks.”

Do you have any top tips for someone looking at re-locating to Australia?

“If you are looking to relocate with the plan to becoming a permanent resident take a look at the skilled occupation list to get an idea of what jobs are on the list.”

What are your future plans?

“Hopefully we will have our Permanent Residency approved very soon, meaning next year can apply for Citizenship - whoop!”

Chris then accepted sponsorship through his employer giving us a 4 year work visa (457 – Temporary Work Skilled). This requires you to have a job on the Skilled Occupation List (SOL) in which your employer nominates you.

After we applied it probably only took a couple of months to be approved.

by Gemma Glover

Over 5 years ago Millie Deighton and her boyfriend Chris Hill left sleepy Devon and headed to sunny Australia in search of some excitement! We check in with them to see how it’s all going.

What makes the lifestyle in Australia so great?

“Australia has a very outdoor lifestyle, whether at the beach, the park, in the garden, going for a walk… whatever it is you are always outdoors. A lot of the beaches and parks have public BBQ’s so it’s also great for socialising.

Are there any downsides to living in Australia?

“Apart from the obvious distance from home and family, I don’t think so. There is so much to do, and so many things to see it never gets boring. I guess seeing your first Huntsman (think extremely large spider, and then times by 10!) could make you question why you’d moved here!!!”

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HOT SINCE 82 AUSTRALIA TOUR Leeds local, Daley Padley - better known as Hot Since 82 is set to return to Australia this February alongside a handful of the talent from his Knee Deep In Sound record label.

Having sold out four North and South America tours and been featured four times on legend, Pete Tong’s ‘Essential New Tune’ listing, it’s fair to say things have been going well for Padley.

With the launch of his Knee Deep record label his audio aesthetic stays prevalent through artists such as Emanuel Satie and new comer Christoph. What’s clear from Hot Since 82 and his label mates is that they’re about the party all whilst keeping a sophisticated ear.

Having started life out as a kid from a council estate, it’s fair to say his rise to stardom has been somewhat meteoric and now this success is being echoed by the Knee Deep In Sound record label. The label holds bragging rights to representing high profile artists such as ANNA and the aforementioned Emanuel Satie who was the winner of DJ Awards - Ibiza’s Best Producer.

As some may know, Hot Since 82 has had two lives when it comes to music. Originally starting out DJing under his real name Daley Padley, the DJ frequented the clubs in the North of England regularly and occasionally booked gigs in Ibiza. However after feeling slightly disillusioned Padley took a break from music before re-launching himself as Hot Since 82. 2012 saw a break in the clouds for the DJ as he released tracks on Moda Black, Noir and Get Physical which really put him on the map.

Fast forward five years and Padley is at the top of his game, touring internationally as well as introducing fresh new talent to the masses through his label. Speaking to Warehouse Project Padley says of his career; “I do enjoy DJing - it’s not about the money. This job you’re hot one minute and you’re not the next, so I just want to play as much as I can as long as I‘m still enjoying it; and I do still enjoy it.”

Q & A: EMANUEL SATIE

Hi Emmanuel, How are you?

I’m really good, thanks. Had a great weekend touring in Poland and Belgium and working on new music at the studio now. Can’t wish for much more really.

Where in the world are you right now and how is it?

I’m in Berlin at the moment. It’s quite nice right now. Not a big fan of the Berlin winter but yesterday the first snow fell, so everyone is going nuts about that.

You’re heading over to Australia soon to play alongside Hot Since 82 and Christoph - what’s it like playing with these guys?

Both of them are really cool and fun guys, plus great DJs. Hot Since 82 has been supporting me quite a bit lately by inviting me to his Knee Deep showcases and releasing my music on his label. I’m looking forward to touring with them on the other side of the world for a bit. The same has to be said about Butch also. It’s gonna be a fun boyband experience for sure!

Have you been over there before? What are you hoping to get up to whilst you’re there?

Yes, I’ve been before, I was in Australia in August 2016 and it was a great experience even though it was winter. I can’t wait to find out what the Australian summer is all about. I expect Mojito drinking, kangaroos and koalas everywhere. Seriously though, Australia left a true impression on me last time, I went there without knowing a single soul and I left with many, many friends. I’m

looking forward to seeing them again and catching up. There won’t be much time for sightseeing this time, but I’m sure gonna enjoy every party to the fullest and I’m hoping to return to Berlin with a little bit of tint.

TOUR DATES

Friday 10th February: Habitat, Perth Saturday 12th February: The Paddock @ Federation Square, Melbourne Sunday 13th February: Royal Randwick Racecourse, Sydney Tickets available at www.hotsince82.com

As you said, you’re part of Daley’s Knee Deep In Sound record label - what benefits your music as an artist about being with this label?

Daley has grown a very powerful brand and platform with both Hot Since 82 and his label Knee Deep in a very short time. A lot of eyes are on him, so of course it brings a lot of exposure to my music. As I said earlier, Daley is also supporting me as an artist by playing my music, charting it and inviting me to the Knee Deep showcases like this Australia tour. Most important for me when working with a label is not what I get out of it though, for me it’s mostly about if I like what a label does musically and also if it fits on a personal level.

What are you working on at the moment and are you working alongside anyone particularly interesting?

I’ve just bounced the pre-masters to my upcoming Saved EP, the follow up to ‘Come As You Are’. I’m very proud of this one.

Collabo wise I’ve just finished remixes for Matthias Tanzmann and Claptone and have one more to do for Black Coffee. I’m also looking to finish EPs for Truesoul and Eats Everything’s amazing label Edible. I can’t wait to share all of that. Plus there are more projects in the works, that are still on the down low. Very excited about all of that.

Being from Berlin - where are the best places visitors should check out for a great night out?

I’m a regular at Watergate, I go there on a Wednesday when only the Waterfloor is open, it’s a special vibe. Of course Berghain/Panorama Bar is a sureshot as well, try the Sunday afternoon until Monday, this is when the vibe is the best. If you don’t get in, which can happen to the best of us, Sisyphos is a good one as well. In summer, definitely go to Club der Visionäre, it’s open every day and has a relaxed open air vibe.

You’ll find me there for sure on one day or the other.

By Hannah Shakir

Ahead of his tour alongside Hot Since 82, we catch up with Emanuel Satie. This Berliner is one busy guy with releases set for February and March on Moon Harbour and Saved Records. We found out a little more about his work with Knee Deep records and where you’ll find the best nights out in Berlin…

Recently, Padley has been busy taking the label on tour with his Knee Deep Experience reaching all the major party capitals of the world and now it’s Australia’s turn. The party’s lineup features the man himself, Butch, Christoph, Emanuel Satie as well as some stellar local support. The tour will be hitting our shores on Friday February 10th at Habitat in Perth (won’t feature all the acts so please check local listings). The second stop will be Melbourne at The Paddock in Federation Square on the 12th, after which they travel to the Royal Randwick Racecourse in Sydney on the 13th.

www.bbmlive.com

11

DISCOVERY RECOMMENDS: RUM DIARY BAR For lovers of rum, rum and more rum!

Loved the movie? Well then you’re in luck, as this decadent Brunswick Street venue pays homage in equal measures to the much celebrated gonzo author Hunter S. Thompson and his infamous book - which the bar takes its name from - life on the high seas and of course, every sailor’s favourite, rum...so much rum!

So be prepared to be impressed by the eclectic mix of classic, creative and in some instances, downright eccentric concoctions though always stunningly executed and proof that there is always a method to madness here - that really make this bar stand out as one of the most original and innovative on the block.

WHAT’S ON AT DISCOVERY TIGHT ASS TACOS

Tuesdays from 6pm get your free tacos until their gone. Happy hour from 5pm in the Disco Bar. Big favourites include the Dark and Stormy, which is made with Goslings Black Seal rum and house-made ginger beer mixed with coriander and chilli, the Morning Toast Daiquiri, which combines burnt-butter-infused rum with pink grapefruit and lime, and their take on Espresso Martinis, which are shaken with dark rum and vanilla, as well as coffee extracted from an old-school lever press coffee machine. After a daring chaser? We’d suggest trying a shot of the flaming Bacardi 151, which is served in a hollowed passion fruit half.

Gotten this far and not actually very keen on rum? Don’t worry, as you’ll also be well looked after with the bar’s wide selection of Australian craft beers, wines and non-rum spirits that are additionally available. And if you’re feeling peckish, definitely try the delicious street food fusing Spanish, South American and Caribbean influences, available in the bar’s courtyard, or the wonderful house jaffles that are served throughout the day. www.rumdiarybar.com.au 334 Brunswick St, Fitzroy, 3065

FREE WINE & CHEESE

Meet fellow backpackers for some free wine and cheese at 7, 8 and 9pm in the Disco Bar and get acquainted with your new friends and surroundings each Wednesday.

LATE LATIN NIGHTS

Dance the evening away to samba, Latin funk and salsa with $3 Prosecco all night from 5pm on Thursdays.

FEEL GOOD THURSDAYS

Get your exercise on Thursdays with a free sports class including Yoga, Zumba, martial arts, bootcamps, dance and more.

Sign up at reception.

SHOOTERS NIGHT

Love a game of pool, don’t miss Shooters Night in the Disco Bar with $5 shots on the hour at 8,9 and 10pm every Friday.

SEDUCTIVE SATURDAY

Party the night away every Saturday from 7pm and dress to impress. Includes drinking and party games in the Disco Bar.

By Sandy Djaliwal

With its effortlessly cool, nautically themed decor and a bar stocked with well over 100 kinds of the spirit from across the world, it’ll be full steam ahead as you take a delicious - and probably inebriated, by the end of it – international tour of this quirky nightspot’s treasure trove of a selection, ranging from white and golden to spiced and raw varieties, spanning the Caribbean, Cuba, Venezuela, Spain, Mauritius and beyond. Though it’s what The Rum Diary Bar’s staff can actually do with these exotic tipples that will truly impress – if the charismatic crowds that frequent this popular establishment week in, week out, are anything to go by. What are we inferring, you wonder? Well, for starters, everyone always seems to have a cocktail in their hand here.

Sometimes, two!

12

EVENTS

DRINKS DEALS

FED SQUARE LIVE

SHIMBU

SHIMMERLANDS AT UNIVERSITY OF MELBOURNE

BOHEMIAN BAR

This new Tibetan fusion restaurant may have only been open for a short while, but it is already receiving some rave reviews!

Grab your valentine and take advantage of the 50% off drinks offers on between 5pm and 7pm, every day except Monday.

58 Lygon St, Brunswick East facebook.com/Shimbu

Head to the university’s Parkville campus for its exciting two month roster, featuring outdoor film screenings, live gigs and DJ sets, a diverse food quarter and more.

Until Sunday, 26th February 2017 shimmerlands.com

ZOO TWILIGHTS AT MELBOURNE ZOO

Are you a couple of music lovers? Don’t miss the zoo’s season of gigs under the stars, with shows from Ball Park Music, Warpaint, Paul Dempsey and more.

Until Saturday, 11th March 2017 zootwilights.org.au

PIKNIC ELECTRONIK AT SIDNEY MYER MUSIC BOWL

Enjoy the Sunday summer vibes together with world famous line ups of internationally renowned DJs, as well as home grown musical talent. Need a break from throwing shapes? Wander the craft markets or grab a drink and a bite at one of the many food trucks and fully stocked bars.

Until Sunday, 19th March 2017 piknicelectronik.com/melbourne

SUMMER SERIES AT REVOLVER UPSTAIRS

Revolver’s Summer Series returns with its biggest line up yet. Dance the night away with your partner in crime to some of the biggest names in music, including techno giants Daniel Bortz and Late Nite Tuff Guy, plus more to be announced.

Until Sunday, 19th March 2017 revolverupstairs.com.au

PITCH MUSIC & ARTS FESTIVAL Taking place from 10th 13th March, Pitch Music & Arts Festival will see some of Australia’s greatest talent as well as international acts come together for a dreamy festival experience in the golden fields of Victoria.

Recently Pitch Music & Arts festival dropped a bombshell of a line up when they announced their nuclear-sized list of performers. Everyone from RA’s number one DJ Dixon, to Berghain techno don Ben Klock, to psychedelic Israelihouse duo Red Axes will be heading to Australia for possibly one of the most credible line ups ever seen in Australia.

With an arts program, which they are drip feeding on their facebook page, it seems like they are putting in as much effort into the aesthetics of the festival as they are the music. There has been even more anticipation building around the

event’s debut showing with the recent announcement of the festival location, but if that didn’t excite you, their local announcement should finish you off.

Joining the incredible list of international guests are some of our favourite local legends, including queen of disco CC:Disco!; new-age master of experimentation Andras; one third of dance group RÜFÜS, Jüan Du Sol; Melbourne’s hip-hop inspired r’n’b group Big Words; eight-piece extravaganza No Zu; cult favourites Otologic; techno duo Sleep D, and a live set from ambient jazz/dance duo Albrecht La’Brooy. Just a selection of the fine talent Australia possess…

Word on the street is that tickets are well on its way to sell out so don’t sleep on this!

Check out the full line up and get your tickets at www.pitchfestival.com.au

Take in the picturesque waterside views of The Yarra as you tuck into share platters of oysters, or choose from a stunning selection of tapas, as well as cocktail and wine deals, every day of the week between 3pm and 6pm.

35 Dukes Walk, South Wharf thebohemian.com.au

GEM BAR

Have a date night with a difference this Valentine’s at this lively American BBQ joint. Get messy with half price tacos, wings and Texan fries and take advantage of the beer, cider and cocktail deals, between 4pm and 7pm, every Tuesday to Friday.

289 Wellington St, Collingwood thegembar.com.au

FOODSOCIAL ST VALENTINE’S APERIPIZZA AT LA ROMANA

Single and a foodie? FoodSocial, the networking event specifically for foodies, has your back! Tickets include a welcome drink plus drinks promos throughout the night, a decadent Italian buffet, fun activities, a raffle and more. 6.30pm – 9.30pm, Friday 10th February.

211 – 213 Queen St, Melbourne foodsocial.com.au

By Sandy Dhaliwal & Stefanos Mak

Enjoy summer nights of free, open air gigs with this seasonal program featuring everything from indie and pop to soul and electronica. There’s bound to be something for the both of you.

Until Thursday, 16th February 2017 fedsquare.com

www.bbmlive.com 13

BASEMENT JAXX

Don’t miss Basement Jaxx at Cafe Del Mar this Sunday 5th February, visit ww.cafedelmar.com.au for more information.

So how’s 2017 been for you so far?

I’m going to get married in the summer. So, that’s really exciting.

So, besides that, I don’t know. I feel there’s a positivity in the air.

I think people got a bit wrapped up in the world and people were dying and stuff. They’re always dying. Stars have always been dying. It’s no big deal. Things are just carrying on as they always have. Yes, if there are politicians that you don’t like or things you don’t like then lobby your MPs, make changes, make a world you do like. To me, it all seems quite simple. But it’s almost fashionable to be part of some ‘oh, we’re all doomed’ mindset, which to me seems like a very small minded mindset.

The tail end of last year was all a bit doom and gloom coming from everyone, wasn’t it?

Yeah. But the thing is, there was other stuff happening as well. I was speaking to a friend of mine recently who said actually last year, he had a really good year.

While everyone was worrying about what certain people were saying, he was getting on with his life. Which I think we should all be

doing. If you look at Trump and stuff like that, we’ve given him so much fuel and attention, he must feel like a million dollars. If we just concentrated on people we did care about rather than giving him airtime, I don’t know. People seem to get things back to front. I don’t understand why we put so much energy into things that we don’t like. Why don’t we put energy into things that we like and that we think are good? Because when you give things attention and energy, they grow. And then we create the world that we want to have. So, it’s quite a simple mathematical solution. Where energy goes, energy flows. And that’s science.

That’s a much better way of looking at it all. So, you’re off to Australia and New Zealand very soon. When was the last time you were over there?

It was a few years ago, but I haven’t been there for the last two or three years. I definitely miss having a bit of sunshine in January, February.

What have you been doing since your last album, as a summary of what you’ve been up to?

We finished doing the live shows at the end of Christmas before last. And last summer, we were just DJing and both doing individual projects. Simon’s working with a blues guitarist and an album for him. I work with Simon. We produced some Canadian new artist that’s coming out with her album next year. I can’t remember what her name is which is not very good promotion, is it? But that’s good. It’s called ‘Strange Heart’ because she has actually got a strange heart. She’s got some holes in her heart. And she’s been married three times. She’s quite young. She’s definitely got quite a strange heart. She’s really cool.

Just various things. I’m itching to get on with writing musicals, which I’ve been talking about for years

and not doing. So, I’ve really got to stop talking about it and get on with the doing. Talk is cheap.

You’re really good at having an eclectic sound and bringing in new vocalists and that sort of thing. How do you come across these interesting new people that you work with?

Living in the world really. We’re exposed to so much now. It’s amazing how boring pop music is and how everyone’s doing the same thing. It seems a bit ridiculous because there’s such a rich variety of music in the world, which we can actually find now and experience. But still, people keep on doing the same X Factor girl hitting the high note and some kind of derivative, a bit dancey pop music, don’t they?

Most people do the same thing.

The lyrics are all a bit sickly, made up – I don’t know. They just seem contrived by an advertising team. And that’s what pop music’s become. To me, I have no interest in that whatsoever.

But anything that’s authentic in the world. I suppose I’ve always been interested in different forms of music and different forms of culture. I love meeting different people from different countries. I find that interesting. It makes your world wider and also challenges some of your viewpoints. It opens up your perspectives. Anything that does that is good and we should encourage and embrace that because I think that’s part of what being human is about. I think it’s experiencing what it is to be alive and actually realise that none of us know what’s going on.

We get a bit wrapped up in the media culture of someone says this particular thing is particularly important when really, it’s just something that we’re all focusing on for a moment. Music’s the same. If music touches you then that should be enough and it adds something to your life. We get

very wrapped up in the details of is this the kind of thing that I want to see myself listening to? Which is a ridiculous vanity. When you’re old and grey, you’ll think ‘why was I so worried about this smallminded attitude?’ Everything’s moving forward and it always will.

Things will keep changing. Also, I think now, with Trump and Brexit, everything’s getting shaken up a bit. I think we might start to get a bit of art and people caring about stuff coming into culture.

Musical culture’s been very bland for the last ten years really. That’s why people are so upset about Prince and George Michael and whoever else dying. There’s always been people dying and often they die very young. Amy Winehouse was very young. I think a lot of those people did very well and produced a lot of stuff. I’ve gone off on a tangent now. I don’t know where I was going. But I just started looking because it’s really started snowing properly now.

You’ve got all these eclectic things going on and you get to travel quite a lot due to your job, where would you say is one of the most exotic or weirdest places that you’ve ever had to go and play in?

I think probably of places I’ve travelled, the most interesting places have been not where I’ve played but where I went out to afterwards. In Japan, the last time I was there, I went to Kyoto before and actually looking out the window now, it reminds me. I wanted to discover a bit more of the spiritual Japan. I was sitting on the top of Mount Kurama, in an onsen, like an outdoor bath with steam coming up, naked, and then it was snowing. That was amazing. I feel so lucky and blessed to have been able to have had that opportunity. A lot of cities are very similar. A lot of cities have a McDonalds and all of these kinds of things. A lot of

that stuff doesn’t really excite me. You have the history, I’m interested in that, the architecture.

But I’m more excited about the glorious nature of the world and real people’s culture. Everywhere has different things to offer and curious foods that you can’t get in other places. But more and more, a lot of places are becoming very similar with this homogenised global culture in the cities and often the places where you play.

Actually, I did a tour by myself, of India. That’s probably one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done.

That was basically because they’d never had a white guy play at any of their things before. So, that was quite interesting. And it wasn’t as evolved, the culture. So, there was this real, fresh excitement. It wasn’t all advertising and expensive entry fees and people being herded around. It was actually really free and exciting. And you could play any music you wanted because there were no rules. I was the guy from abroad so, that wasn’t – which was a lot more liberating and free and interesting probably.

Whereabouts did you get to in India?

I was in New Delhi, Goa, Tuni and Pune. I think my favourite one was Tuni. I ended up just playing the local discotheque on Saturday night, which was workers and secretaries and people who’d just finished work on the Friday night or whatever. They probably didn’t know any of the music that I knew. What a challenge. To these people, all what I know about various cultures, they hadn’t got any of these benchmarks. So, I have to play them music that touches them and makes them want to dance. I thought that was great because as a DJ, that’s when you become properly alive. It’s not based on what people are thinking about as a good record to play, it’s about a primal connection.

by Hannah Shakir

With a list of hits that span three decades, the eclectic sound that Basement Jaxx are loved for is what sets them apart from your average dance act. From their sound it’s easy to tell that the producing duo’s (Simon Ratcliffe and Felix Buxton) passion for music runs deep.

We caught up with Felix ahead of their Australian tour to find out what they’ve been up to as well as discussing the political mood of 2017…

14

Enzo Siragusa

DAYS LIKE THIS FESTIVAL 2017

Fatima Yamaha

This month we catch up with Londoner Enzo Siragusa - the mastermind behind London’s famous party brand, Fuse which he has even taken to Ibiza. Here we talk parties, DJ-ing and 90s rave culture ahead of his performances at Days Like This and Pitch Music & Arts Festival.

Hey Enzo, how are you?

Where are we talking to you from?

I’m currently sitting in my studio in Shoreditch, London, and there is glorious sunshine coming through my window.

So how has the start to 2017 been for you so far?

Lovely, because I’ve had a holiday, and some much needed time with family.

January has also allowed me the time to dig through my 25-year record collection in preparation for my marathon set at Fuse this Sunday.

You’ve got an all day long FUSE Sunday session at Village Underground this weekend, how do you find the turn out for a Sunday sesh?

It’s always rammed! Fuse at Village Underground is a guest list only party, so we don’t sell tickets. This way, we build the vibe right from the front door to make sure people are there for the music. We have a very multicultural crowd who are all there for a good time. Also not forgetting our loyal and religious followers who have been there since the start 8 years ago.

Got any survival methods for playing such a long set?

The key is to ease yourself into it. I’ll play around 9 hours this Sunday, and will start pretty relaxed by journeying through

the deeper sides of my record collection with some Ambient, then into House and Techno, and who knows where we will end up.

I’ll also eat lots of good wholesome food in the lead up and I’ve also been training in the gym this month, which will definitely make a difference.

You’ve said before that you’re a vinyl addict, but how many records would you say you own roughly?

That is very hard to say.

Probably around 8,000. I even have a large collection stored at my grandma’s house, which is most of my stuff from 1993 – 2003, a lot of that is Old Skool rave and Drum & Bass. 2003 onwards, that’s all in my studio.

You’ll be playing at Pitch and Days Like These in Australia in March have you been out there before?

Yes, I was in Australia in Dec 2015, I played at Subsonic and SASH. What kind of vibes will you be bringing to your sets in Oz? Expect big Fuse London bass lines and grooves, and I’ll also be playing some new material, upcoming collaborations between myself, Archie Hamilton and Subb-an.

Where are you most looking forward to visiting?

I am very much looking forward to exploring Melbourne. I didn’t get to see much last time and have only heard good things.

But I do absolutely love Sydney, I completely fell in love with it last time, the vibe and also the food. I love my food!

Will you get any downtime whilst you’re there if so what do you hope to do?

Yes I hope to get a little bit of downtime with best mate who now lives in Manly.

Fuse has gained a massive following now, and you had your first summer residency at Amnesia in Ibiza? Did it feel

like a milestone for you?

Definitely, because I have spent so much time on the Amnesia dance floor in the past. I’ve had many residencies in Ibiza and explored all aspects of the island throughout 20 years, as a clubber, worker, and DJ. So to take my event concept to Amnesia, that was very special for me.

Do you have any plans to head out to Ibiza again this summer?

I always intend to go to Ibiza; I haven’t missed a single summer since 1996.

Gold Panda

Any big FUSE events planned for 2017 that we can look forward to?

As usual there will be some bigger showcases in London this year outside of Village Underground. You’ll have to watch this space for other event news, all to be revealed!

Obviously, you’re heavily influenced by 90s rave culture, what elements of this do you inject into FUSE events to keep a “traditional” rave atmosphere?

It all comes down to the sound. When I used to go to warehouse raves in the 90s, I was blown away by the sound.

As soon as you were in front of those speakers you could feel it, you wanted to move, dance as hard as you could. That is the traditional rave culture element we bring to Fuse today. I myself work closely with engineers to make sure that as soon as you walk in, the incredible sound hits you. This is why we are very selective with where we do showcases, as it’s the most important element, and it allows the rest to come together naturally through the music.

Catch Enzo Siragusa at Days Like This Festival 2017 11th March - Royal Randwick Racecourse, Sydney

Soul Clap

Planning on being in Sydney in March, well then make sure you don’t miss out on Days Like This 2017.

This boutique, one-day festival is especially designed for discerning electronic music lovers.

This year’s event will take place at the Randwick Racecourse in Sydney and features four main stages hosting the best global house, techno, electronica and more.

This year’s line up is a stellar concoction of Detroit Swindle, Enzo Siragusa, Fatima Yamaha, Gold Panda, Julio Bashmore, Midland, Omar S, and Soul Clap.

Although the music is the main focus of the event, festival goers will also enjoy the incredible food on offer at the many stalls encompassed in a creative hub also featuring bars and market stalls.

The event precinct will offer a creative hub featuring bars, market stalls and premium food options hosted by Sydney’s most respected names in food and art. Immersed within the plush surroundings of Royal Randwick, be prepared for a day and night of musical, culinary and visual exploration.

Doors open at 12 midday with the festivities going on til 10pm, so make sure you don’t miss out on one of Sydney’s premier electronic music events.

Get your ticket at www.dayslikethisfestival.com.au

www.bbmlive.com 15

16

EXPAT SERVICES Second Year Working Holiday Visa Checklist If you think you’ll be applying for a Second Year Working Holiday Visa (WH) then you need to have your prep head on in the early stages of your first WH Visa. We’ve put together a top 5 checklist of all the things you need to consider:

1. How to qualify?

Moving Back From Australia to the UK – Learning to Declutter Whether you’re returning to the UK, or moving abroad for the first time, it’s an exciting chapter in anyone’s life but before you start unravelling the bubble-wrap and assembling the packing boxes, stop for a moment and think about all the items you’re planning to take with you to the UK. Do you really need it all?

Remember the more you take, the more you pay. So here are a few tips about decluttering before you begin your move back from Australia to the UK. • First of all, you may want to think twice about packing an inexhaustible supply of summer clothes and looking at other options such as storage or selling.

Over in the UK you may have forgotten that they have these things called ‘seasons’ which are most inconvenient.

• If you have expansive, alphabetised CD and DVD collections, we advise not to take it all with you. These collections are heavy, expensive to ship and, let’s be honest, largely redundant in this age of streaming and downloading.

• Don’t waste money shipping your old furniture overseas such as armchairs, sofas, chests of drawers and wardrobes. Treat yourself to new items when you arrive at your new destination! Naturally if you choose to sell your old furniture, you’ll be providing yourself with a financial platform for buying replacements.

• If you’re moving electrical items like flatscreen televisions, you may also want to consider the electrical power differences. There’s no point shipping such a large electrical item abroad if it’s going to create a power outage when you switch it on.

• Also, if you choose to adapt a television or other electrical item for the UK, you could invalidate the warranty.

Now we know what you’re thinking: If I sell a lot of household items before I move, I’m going to need to do a fair bit of shopping when I get to my new home. This is true. So here are a few reputed retail names in the UK you may want to make a note of: • Tesco – The renowned supermarket chain is full of cutprice home entertainment these days.

• Harvey Norman – Items for living and dining, with home delivery and click and collect options. Plus it’s an Australian company, should you feel homesick.

• IKEA - Our flat-pack friends from Sweden who need no introduction.

• Euronics - Electrical and home appliances with all manner of discounts available online.

• Dunelm – Affordable furniture and bedding.

• John Lewis – Less affordable furniture and bedding.

• Wayfair - Furniture and homewares - look out for reductions.

Once you’ve been a little ruthless and streamlined your shipment, it’s time to work out just which is the best method of moving your items from A to B. May we suggest that if you’re going to the UK, a MoveCube ® from Seven Seas Worldwide is your best bet? We have a reliable shipping network between the UK and Australia with offices and depots in both countries meaning no third party interference. Happy decluttering.

For more information, check out the website. www.sevenseasworldwide.com/ moving/movecube/international/ If you’re moving within Australia, then call 1300 216 698 FREE and quote our BBM promotional code BBMAUS15W06 for a 5% discount.

Find out more about moving your belongings from A - B with minimum stress

www.sevenseasworldwide.com.au

2.Specified Work

It is the specified work section that means you have to be preparing whilst undertaking your first year.

Essentially you have to earn your right to a second year WH Visa by contributing to the economy by completing no less than 88 days or 3 months worth of specified work. Specified work falls into the industries detailed below: • Agriculture: harvesting, cultivation, processing • Forestry • Fishing and pearling • Mining • Some sectors of construction If you don’t pay much attention to

• Specified work must be in a valid postcode location. Details of valid regions/postcodes can be found here: www.border. gov.au/FormsAndDocuments/ Documents/1263.pd • You must complete the correct number of days. If you happen to work for 2 or more different employers you must count each day worked. In this case you cannot include weekends.

Therefore the actual time period worked looks more like 4 months when you count each individual day worked.

• You should be paid at least the minimum wage and complete the industry standard working hours.

See the Fair Work Ombudsman for more guidance on this https:// calculate.fairwork.gov.au • Your employer(s) must fill in the Employment Verification (1263) Form, and make sure it’s correct! Trying to get hold of this after you’ve left can be an absolute nightmare which can be found at www.border. gov.au/FormsAndDocuments/ Documents/1263.pd

3.How, where and when to apply?

Log into your ImmiAccount at www.border.gov.au/Trav/Visa1/417- to apply and pay for your second WH Visa. Take note of the following: • Applying within Australia? You must remain in Australia until your Visa is granted. Ensure you complete your application well in advance of your first year WH Visa end date (2 months minimum

recommended).

• Applying outside of Australia?

You must wait for your Visa to be granted before re-entering. Don’t go booking flights prior to your visa being granted!

The Government advises that 75% applications take up to 21 days to be reviewed, however some have been known to take much longer than this.

4.What paperwork do you need to have?

As stated by the Australian government website, evidence for application can include, but is not limited to the following: • Your bank statement covering the entire period of your specified work.

• Completed Employment Verification (1263) Form found on www.border.gov.au • Payslips • Group certificates • Tax returns • Employer references on official letterhead

5. Other important things to consider

If you are remaining in Australia whilst applying for your second WH Visa please consider renewals for the following: • Travel Insurance • Medicare • Any other personal information or documentation that was based on your first year visa e.g. ABN Number and Tax File Number.

For all visa advice speak to a Registered Migration Agent.

TAX WISE Tel : 08 9248 8124 Fax : 08 9463 6208 mairead@taxwiseaustralia.com.au PO Box 1874, Malaga 6944 www.taxwiseaustralia.com.au www.taxwise-australia.com

EXPRESS TAX Level 6, 155 Castlereagh St Sydney, NSW, 2000 1800 739 739 +61 (0) 2 9267 3200 www.expresstaxback.com.au

GREEN MIGRATION

Registered Migration Agent – 1464351 Little City Studio 118 Prospect Road, PROSPECT SA 5082 +61 8 417 837 973 zoe@greenmigration.com.au www.greenmigration.com.au

OPTIMA MIGRATION

Registered Migration Agent - 0532045 Subiaco Business Centre/ Suite 5, 531 Hay St Subiaco WA 6008 + 61 8 93808397 |M: 0409130865 lidia@optimamigration.com.au www.optimamigration.com.au

IMMIGRATION HELP CORPORATE OFFICE (AUSTRALIA)

181 Marion Road Richmond, Adelaide, SA 5033, Australia Phone: +61 8 8123 6039 | Fax: +61 8 7200 7536 Mobile No: + 61 0433303774 Email:contact@myimmigrationhelp.com www.myimmigrationhelp.com

TAXBACK.CO.UK Claim back your uk tax refund info@taxback.co.uk www.taxback.co.uk BACKPACKER TAX REFUNDS First Floor, 1A Morts Road Mortdale NSW 2223 +61 (0) 2 8065 5668 info@backpackertaxrefunds.com.au www.backpackertaxrefunds.com.au

MOVE MIGRATION PTY LTD

Registered Migration Agent MARN: 1382250 104/3 Eden Street North Sydney NSW 2060 Email: Eugene.Liu@movemigration.com.au Web: movemigration.com.au

CONTACT marketing@ what-media.com to advertise your services.

Shipping article by Michael Spicer at Seven Seas Worldwide Visa article by Gemma Glover

Moving Back From Australia to the UK – Lear ning to Declutter

As with your first WH Visa there are a few rules you must meet.

As directed by the Australian government website they are as follows: • You must be between 18 and 30 years old (there is talk of this changing to 35 years of age).

• You must have a valid passport with at least 6 months until renewal.

• You must have sufficient funds to support yourself when you arrive in Australia • You must have completed 3 months, or 88 days of specified work in regional Australia (explained in point 2).

anything else in this article then please do to this!

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RECRUITMENT. EMPLOYMENT. STUDY. MIGRATION.

How to Avoid Stuffing up an Interview

Interviewing with a recruiter is in some ways more difficult than interviewing with a hiring manager. You rarely know what the job entails, you’re unable to research the company. Usually a recruiter is the gatekeeper, between you and getting anywhere in your job search. It is however quite easy to enjoy the interview experience, through some thought about what you wear, what you say, and how you say it.

Below are some tips of what to avoid when heading in for an interview with a recruitment consultant.

ATTIRE - DRESS TO IMPRESS

Recently I met a candidate arrive in a Batman t-shirt and denim shorts. Even if the role might be with a creative agency, we need to know you take your job search seriously – and wearing a suit is an indicator of that.

TALKING TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE

As recruiters, we go on and on about the SAO (or STAR) method of answering questions. Your ability to verbally demonstrate your experience without

waffling is vital; however it’s equally important to keep the conversation flowing. Having a stop-start question-answer interview is also difficult, as it’s harder to build rapport.

TIMELINESS & FLAKINESs

Being late, not returning calls, and not attending interviews are the biggest no-nos in the recruitment industry. As recruiters, we’ve heard every excuse which exists and it really sours first impressions. If you no longer want to attend an interview, or you’re no longer interested, please just let us know! We don’t mind and we will call you with more relevant opportunities in the future.

There’s lots of tips on how to ace an interview, but if you avoid the above, you’ll do better than most.

Good luck!

Article by Sally Horwood, Consultant, Specialist Permanent Recruitment at people2people

Find temporary & permanent work and job advice at people2people.com.au

CARPENTERS. ELECTRICIANS. CHEFS RECRUITERS. NURSES. SPONSORED JOBS Our clients are seeking professionals from overseas to fill a range of jobs across Australia. If you’re serious about staying in Australia and are seeking permanent employment or looking at skilled visas options, we want to hear from you.

If you’re coming to the end of your first or second year working holiday visa, or if you’re already in employment and are looking for a new sponsor please get in touch with our team asap. Our clients are looking for top talent and willing to sponsor for the right candidates.

Call 02 8005 8162 or email your CV to jobs@bbmlive.com

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WWW.BBMLIVE.COM/JOBS

How to Interview for a Job in Australia After 15 years in the recruitment industry, I have interviewed thousands of people. Some of my suggestions are listed below.

Whether you are interviewing in person or via Video / Skype these tips are relevant.

Research and Preparation • Do some research on the company you are interviewing for – there is a wealth of information available online and research shows you are interested in the opportunity.

• Find out about the company, brand, venue and the number of employees. Any newsworthy items you can discuss with the interviewer?

• Have some questions of your own prepared that you can ask the interviewer.

• Identify how your background and experience fits with the opportunity on offer.

• Know your own strengths, weaknesses and accomplishments. Be prepared to discuss these in detail. Support your statements about yourself with specific examples when appropriate.

• Arrive 15 minutes early, never ever be late for an interview – if you are late it shows you are disorganised and perhaps not as interested in the interview as you should be. Make sure you know how to get to the interview and where to park (if appropriate). Do your research!

• Ask who will be interviewing you and what you should prepare / bring with you to the interview.

• Dress appropriately for the company culture and position you are interviewing for – you can always ask your contact what they require – if this isn’t possible always err on the side of formal business wear.

• Don’t smoke before an interview.

Interview Structure in Australia • Some job interviews will begin with the interviewer describing the position and the organization to you. This will give you a chance to settle and get an insight into your interviewer and the organization.

• Others will begin by asking you about

your background and experience. This means you will have to make an immediate impact and have the chance to sell yourself and your skills early in the process.

• Be prepared for both situations.

Communication • Make sure that the language you use is respectful and polite at all times.

• Prepare for the interview and ask yourself some of the potential questions you may be asked on the day.

• Be enthusiastic and make a positive first impression. The first five minutes are really important! Be friendly and polite to other staff you meet along the way (in the lift, at reception).

• Make sure there is two-way conversation but don’t interrupt your interviewer.

Avoid giving too much information and unnecessary detail.

• Remember there is a fine line between being confident and being arrogant.

• Be positive about your current / previous positions, companies, employers and ex colleagues. Making negative comments about previous employers comes across badly and implies that you don’t take responsibility for your actions.

• Make sure you know your own resume.

This might sound ridiculous but not knowing the dates you were employed does not leave a good impression. Make notes if you need to – ask the interviewer if it is OK if you refer to your notes.

• Smile! Try not to slouch or fold your arms – keep still and look your interviewer in the eye. Remain alert and attentive throughout the interview.

• Don’t over share personal details. Keep the conversation relevant and professional.

• If it’s not clear at the end of the interview it is fine to ask the interviewer what the next steps in the process will be – this demonstrates your interest in the role.

• Non-native-English speakers may feel nervous about speaking English during a job interview. Before the interview, practice with native English speakers, preferably Australians, and ask for feedback. The more you practice your answers aloud in English, the easier it will

TSS MIGRATION / TSS RECRUITMENT LEVEL 3, 7 HOWARD ST, RICHMOND, VICTORIA / +6103 9421 1020 WWW.TSSMIGRATION.COM.AU / WWW.TSSRECRUITMENT.COM.AU become. Focus on speaking clearly and concisely.

Technology (for Skype / Video Interviews) • Check your technology, background noise and feedback levels. Ensure the area surrounding you is neat and tidy and free of distractions (dogs, children etc).

• Speak clearly and remember there is often a time lag between the image and audio. We recommend that if you are using a mobile device you sit in one spot – walking around can make your image jumpy and distorted. A stationary device is preferable.

• Dress appropriately even if you are using Skype / Video.

Interview Questions Try not to sound rehearsed but practice your answers to the following areas of questioning: • General Background – summarise your work history and general background information.

• Qualifications – education and employment related training should be mentioned here.

• Experience – link your background and experience to the role you are being interviewed for, the industry and the organization.

• Reason for applying – what did you find

THE EMPLOYMENT NOMINATED SCHEME (SUBCLASS 186) EXPLAINED You, like many may be in search of a better lifestyle Down Under and as you may be

Perhaps you’ve visited Australia on a Working Holiday Visa only to have fallen head over heals for the place and decided that you want to move to Australia permanently.

Well that doesn’t have to be a pipe dream as such as luckily for skilled workers, there may well be a Sponsored Visa awaiting your qualified self! Should you take a look at the Skilled Occupations List for 2016/2017

Article by Maryke Wylde at TSS Recruitment. TSS Recruitment specialise in placing chefs and other hospitality staff in jobs around Australia. Find Chef & hospitality jobs at www.tssrecruitment.com.au

you will see there are hundreds of jobs that Australia are hoping to fill.

participating State or Territory Government Agency.

What is the ENS?

About ENS Visas

The Employer Nomination Scheme visa (subclass 186) is available to skilled workers who wish to move to Australia on a permanent basis. Applying via the Employer Nominate Scheme involves a two step process. Firstly your occupation must be nominated by an approved Australian employer, then secondly you must apply under the nominated stream (more on streams later). aware, there are many paths to securing a visa to live and work in Australia. One path that we look at here is the Employment Nominated Scheme (subclass 186) which is available to skilled workers.

appealing about the job ad? How does it link to your background, experience and future objectives?

• Career objectives – be ready to discuss your longer term plans – show that you have thought about your career and are taking steps towards realizing your career goals.

• “Do you have any questions for us?”

– this is your opportunity to ask some questions of your own. You could ask why the role is available, what training is available, what the companies plans are for the future etc Practice makes perfect - an interview may be a formal situation or an informal meeting but it is always a social interaction. Stay professional even if the situation is very informal. Being professional and relaxed at interview will generally show more of your personality. Interview experience will refine your technique and each one will be easier than the one before.

If you are not successful in getting the job you can always ask for feedback, which can assist you in your next interview.

What do I need to qualify for a Skilled Sponsored Visa (subclass 186)

To be eligible for this type of skilled visa for Australia you must fit the following criteria: • Be under the age of 50 • Be of good health and character • Have good English language skills • Have skills and qualifications that meet the Australian standards the occupation on the Skilled Occupation List that you are applying for your visa through.

• You or your partner will have an eligible relative living in a designated area of Australia who is willing and able to sponsor you or you have a nomination from a

The Employment Nominated Scheme is split into three streams outlined below: The Temporary Residence Transition Stream: This stream is for subclass 457 visa holders who have been working in Australia for a two year period and whose employer wants to offer them a permanent position.

The Direct Entry Stream: This stream is for people who have never or only briefly working within the Australian labour market.

The Agreement Stream: This is for applicants who are sponsored by their employer through a labour or regional migration agreement. In this case, the employer must nominate the position to be filled and then the employee needs to lodge a visa with the DIAC. Need more information on applying for the Employment Nominated Scheme?

Visit www.overseas-emigration.co.uk

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The Real Facts Behind Australia’s Need For Nurses

Why Move To Melbourne To Nurse?

Considering a move to Australia for a change of scene? For the registered nurses amongst you who have heard about the great nursing jobs available in Australia, you’ll be pleased to know that you can also expect a great lifestyle alongside your shiny new position.

Here we take a look at what nurses in Melbourne can expect when they make the move to the world’s most livable city.

Healthcare workers have always been welcomed into Australia, but just recently the Australian government revealed that nurses and midwives in particular are in high demand. As the country’s population continues to grow, the shortage of skills in these areas are likely to increase even further over the next 10-15 years.

This is of course great news for nurses in the UK who are looking to make the move overseas as Australia are now looking to foreign workers to fill the demand in these essential services.

Qualified nurses from the UK should find it easy to transfer their skills to an Australian hospital – offering not only a rewarding career but a whole lifestyle change.

Why is the demand so high?

The population of Australia has more than doubled over the last 50 years and is expected to rise at a similar rate year on year. Like the UK, the elderly population are living longer than ever before which in turn puts health services under increased pressure.

To ease the pressure, the government is expanding their health offering and in particular are building a number of

new hospitals. These new hospitals require qualified, skilled staff, hence the need for an urgent recruitment drive to ensure that all services are staffed sufficiently. Whilst the government was initially trying to attract Australian nurses, the demand is such that the search has widened to skilled migrant workers.

Is the demand high across Australia?

Whilst nurses and midwives will be needed across the entire country, the real need is felt in the more rural and remote areas of Australia. Smaller towns tend to find it difficult to recruit skilled workers with the right experience, so there are plenty of opportunities for UK nurses to fill these positions.

For UK nurses who are wishing to move to the larger hubs such as Sydney or Melbourne, there will still be opportunities however the greatest staff shortages remain in the rural areas. For those filling these particular vacancies, generous salaries are typically offered as an incentive, as well as being able to experience the friendly, community feel which a small town can offer.

Apply for nursing jobs now at

www.bowerhealthcare.com.au

Living In Melbourne Compared to it’s big, bold neighbour Sydney just up the coast, edgy and refined Melbourne can appear modest in comparison. But don’t be fooled, Australia’s second largest city has much to offer, and some might say more than it’s world famous neighbour to the north.

What Melbourne may lack in iconic landmarks, it more than makes up for with acres of parkland, world class sporting venues, top restaurants and a well lauded – and affordable - cultural scene, easily topping any other city in Australia (it hasn’t made it into the top two most livable cities in the world, six times, for nothing).

Wander along breezy tree lined boulevards, take in an art exhibition, dine out at world-class restaurants and rub shoulders with one of the most diverse, multi-cultural communities in the country. Resplendent Victorian architecture lends an elegant, historical air and it’s easy to feel like you’ve stumbled upon a European city on the other side of the world.

If you’re after somewhere to relax at the weekend and kick back with a few beers, head over to St Kilda, a much-transformed formerly gritty part of town now chock full of cute cafes and excellent bars, all on the shores of one of the city’s best beaches.

Even closer to town is petite Williamstown Beach, where you can stand on the pier and get uninterrupted views of Melbourne’s gorgeous

skyline. Given Melbourne’s many charms, it’s surprisingly cheap to live here and a much better deal than you might expect. If you’ve been lucky enough to land yourself a nursing contract in Melbourne, finding a reasonably priced apartment is a doddle. Rents for a 1 bed start at around the $180 per week mark, and if you’re happy to share there are plenty of house share options to bring your costs down, both in the CBD and surrounding suburbs. Check out Gumtree and local agents for listings.

Nursing In Melbourne You may be wondering how you’re going to have time around nursing to enjoy the Melbourne scene, however with flexible nursing agency jobs you can choose when you’re available to work to make the most of living in Melbourne and exploring Australia.

With a smaller population and lower cost of living, Melbourne ticks some important boxes in terms of jobs and costs. And if you’re pining for home, its distinctly European vibe will help quell any homesickness you might have. Melbourne is cool, sophisticated, artistic and affordable.

Plus it has a great network of trams meaning its super easy to get around town with a Myki card (Melbourne’s version of an Oyster Card).

To find out more about working as a nurse in Australia or to find nursing jobs in Melbourne contact one of the Australian Nursing Agency team today at

recruitment@australiannursingagency.com or

visit www.australiannursingagency.com

www.bowerhealthcare.com.au info@bowerhealthcare.com.au Mental Health Nurses for Eastern Suburbs We have been asked to source experienced Registered Mental Health nurses (or general nurses with mental health experience) for block bookings in a popular public hospital’s various mental health units (aged care through to MHICU).

Paid as a casual, your roster will be set up to 2 weeks in advance. Part-time hours might also be considered providing your availability is regular and ongoing. Block bookings available.

Essential requirements: Work rights in Australia , a minimum of 12 months postgrad clinical experience, compliance with NSW Health’s vaccination policy, current AHPRA registration, eligibility for National Criminal History Record Check and NSW Working with Children Check clearance.

Got a question?

Community Support Worker (Eastern Sydney)

We assist aged, frail, vulnerable and disabled consumers to live independently in their own homes in the community by providing support services, either on a private, fee for service basis, or through brokerage with a variety of Not-For-Profit community providers. We currently have a critical need for more experienced casual home care and support workers around Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs (multiple vacancies).

Duties include; the provision of high and low-level personal care, including personal hygiene, showering, dressing, etc.

Essential requirements: 3 months recent practical care experience in a relevant, local work environment (e.g. in-home care, nursing or group home, hospital, etc.), current work rights in Australia, 2 recent employment or study related references, your own insured vehicle with current NSW drivers licence, excellent communication and time management skills, Certificate III or above (Aged Care, Home & Community Care or Disability), Current First Aid Certificate, Current National Criminal History Record, Working with Children Checks (preferred).

RN’s - All Regional - NSW Our client hospitals are always pleased to accommodate travelling nurses willing to help out on a short-term, contract basis.

Although most roles require extensive specialty skills such as ED, ICU and mental health, we do have general positions at larger facilities at times. Although these roles do not suit nurses arriving in the country wishing to start immediately (as there are a lot of compliance requirements to achieve, some of which need you to be on shore to fulfill) we can help keep you busy locally in Sydney while you wait for a suitable opening.

Essential requirements: Work rights in Australia, a minimum of 24 months post-grad clinical experience in the area required, compliance with NSW Health’s vaccination policy, current AHPRA registration, National Criminal History Record Check and NSW Working with Children Check.

Contracts come with single room accommodation in nurses’ quarters or hospital rentals, travel expense reimbursement can be negotiated and a lump-sum bonus applies at the successful completion of the agreed terms.

Do you qualify for our Australian Working Holiday Visa Package?

To qualify for a Bower Healthcare working holiday package you must either be eligible for an Australian Working Holiday Visa and meet the following employment requirements: • You must qualify for an Australian Working Holiday Visa or other relevant work visa for Australia.

• You must either be a registered nurse and possess a minimum 12 months postgraduate clinical experience • Or be an experienced healthcare worker, eligible for work as an Assistant in Nursing or Community Support Worker Registered Nurses must possess provisional approval for registration with AHPRA • Click here for full details on our candidate requirements and working for us Our Working Holiday Packages combine everything you need to get started in Australia including accommodation and your all-important Tax File Number as well as some great tours to get you in the mood for your working holiday in Australia.

www.bowerhealthcare.com.au

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Why it’s time for a Digital Detox This month, BBM Live’s Gemma Glover takes a look at why and where you should be heading to for a “digital detox” to truly get away from it all.

Digital Technology has become so integrated into our daily lives that it has almost become inseparable. But if you really are seeking that all-important retreat to escape the hum of digital conversations you’ve found the perfect place to plan your ‘get-away from tech’ today!

NEW SOUTH WALES

Yeranda at Barrington Tops

Escape the stresses of everyday life and seek the land of forests, valleys, waterfalls and starry nights. Barrington Tops, Hunter Valley region, is one of Australia’s most distinctive and unusual high country plateaus. This 1200 km2 landscape of subtropical rainforests, is a mesh of ancient Antarctic beech trees and extinct volcanos with a unique microclimate. And with much of it off the grid of the mobile networks what better place to head for that ‘digital detox’ time! Yeranda offers the perfect base with secluded eco-cottages in the foothills.

Appreciate a relaxed evening by the

firepit, sample the region’s renowned wines and delight in the flora and fauna you’re surrounded by.

Dungog www.beautifulaccommodation.com

QUEENSLAND

The Beachcamp Eco Retreat on K’gari

Once on Fraser Island or ‘K’gari’, there are less than a handful of locations in which a Telstra mobile network can be picked up, and as for other networks you have no chance! The island is a unique natural spa with silica sand and tea tree infused lakes for swimming. You can also enjoy 4WD, beach fishing; rainforest walks and stargazing stunning skies away from the light pollution of the towns and cities.

The Beachcamp Eco Retreat’s glamping accommodation offers you the perfect base for your digital detox with no Wi-Fi and no televisions to distract. Set just 100m from the beach, on the World’s largest sand island, you can truly escape ‘the big smoke’ and immerse yourself in ‘cruisy’ island life.

Fraser Island www.beachcampfraserisland.com.au

TROPICAL NORTH QUEENSLAND

Prema Shanti, Yoga and Meditation Retreat

Amidst two of the World’s most impressive eco-systems; the Great Barrier Reef and the Daintree National Park, Prema Shanti, is fast

becoming known as one of the most unique yoga and meditation retreats in Australia.

The stunning location is complemented with purpose built eco-friendly yoga facilities and accommodation that caters for all travellers seeking a healthy holiday experience. Aside from the fact that there’s little access to the Internet in this destination, with a full range of luxuriant spa and massage treatments and a 24/7 yoga programme there is little reason why you would even bother to take your digital sidekick.

Cape Tribulation www.premashanti.com.au

WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Sal Salis, Ningaloo Reef

Nestled in the dunes of Western Australia’s Cape Range National Park you will find Sal Salis, a remote, beach-side safari camp on the shores of Ningaloo Reef. Boasting absolutely no signal or Internet connection, computers and mobile phones will not be a distraction in this serene location. Daily activities such as sea kayaking, snorkeling and walking allow you to get back to nature and enjoy this stunning location to the max.

A gourmet chef prepared menu, including evening canapés whilst taking in the epic sunset is just a sample of the indulgence you will enjoy. Although not suited for the budget traveller if you want to treat someone to something extra-special this is an absolute must of the Australian digital detox selection.

Ningaloo Reef, WA www.salsalis.com.au

VICTORIA

Wombat Valley Wild Country Cabins

Fancy the rustic lifestyle and scenic beauty that Victoria’s early pioneers and gold miners appreciated. Make your way to the natural bushland of East Gippsland, where you will find a haven of beautiful forests just perfect for hiking and letting your mind drift. And at Wombat Valley you’re able to experience all the perks of a digital detox without having to rough it! The homely features of a cosy bed, indoor heating by the fire and of course the essentials of a hot shower, lighting and an indoor toilet will ensure you have a more than comfortable stay.

Nr Briagolong wombatvalleycabins.com.au

TASMANIA

Cradle Mountain Lodge

Be truly amazed by the rugged splendour of the highlands in which Cradle Mountain sits.

Being the terminus of the famous, 65km Overland Track this couldn’t be a more perfect location to escape the daily alerts of modern technology. And what better place to base yourself than Peppers Cradle Mountain Lodge which is widely considered as one of Australia’s most iconic wilderness experiences. Combine indulgent food and wine, sensual spa treatments, breath-taking scenery and a captivating wilderness your digital detox will not disappoint.

Cradle Mountain www.cradlemountainlodge.com.au

by Gemma Glover

Can you remember last time you picked up your phone, searched the Internet, jumped on your iPad, or checked in with social media. I can bet you don’t have to cast your mind back more than an hour!? Imagine getting away from it all and embracing a digital detox! Escaping the constant notifications of emails, Facebook and WhatsApp; casting aside a need to ‘Google it’ as soon as you’re posed with a question you can’t instantly solve; and actually enjoying a conversation over dinner without a friend glancing at their lap to check that all important Tweet!

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NORTHERN TERRITORY

What to do in Darwin?

Stokes Hill Wharf Head to Stokes Hill Wharf and have a wander around the harbour. Book a boat tour or cruise, enjoy a yummy lunch or do a spot of fishing off the free fishing platforms.

How to Spend a Week in Darwin Planning a trip to Darwin? It’s best to hit the Northern Territory in the dry season from mid to late April through to October. Here’s a few places to check out during your time in Darwin.

Where to stay?

Melaleuca on Mitchell This hostel is Darwin’s newest Backpacker accommodation situated right in the heart of the city. Big screen TV, 2 pools, licensed bar and great range of accommodation options to suit all budgets. www.momdarwin.com

Take An NT Wildlife Safari

Planning an adventure up north? Kakadu is where you’ll find it by the bucketfull.

in their hundreds on the grasslands near Mamukala Wetlands. This tall bird (100-125cm) is known for its energetic jumping and trumpeting during mating season.

A dense 20,000 square kilometres, Kakadu is nearly the size of Switzerland, if you’d like to try and get your head around that one! So it comes as no surprise that this biodiverse Australian National Park is home to over 2000 plant species and an enormous plethora of wildlife.

Frill Necked Lizards

If you’re thinking about embarking on an adventure tour in the Northern Territory you’ll need to keep an eye out for these creatures and yes they’re both very big and also quite small!

Crocodiles

There are roughly 10,000 crocodiles residing within Kakadu National Park… pretty scary, but if you leave them alone, they’ll leave you alone.

There are both saltwater crocs that can grow up to a whopping 6 metres long, but there’s also fresh water crocs which are around 3 metres long. The best time of year to spot crocs is during the dry season as they concentrate in the shallow waters.

Look out for them in the waterways and watering holes, and remember if there’s water there is probably a croc so take heed of the warning signs if you fancy a dip!

Brolgas

Look out for this large grey crane during May to October as they flock

One of Australia’s most iconic inhabitants - after the kangaroo and koala of course - is the Frill Necked Lizard. These 90cm long reptiles are pretty funny to see running along, but you’ll soon be impressed as they display their enormous ruff around their neck if they feel threatened. So keep the giggling to a minimum if you see one of these proud reptiles along your travels.

Short-Eared Rock Wallaby

One of Kakadu’s cutest inhabitants, make sure you look out for the ShortEared Rock Wallaby whilst visiting the park. You’ll find this marsupial amongst rocky hills and gorges and is a grey/brown in its appearance.

Flatback Turtles

You’ll find these little turtles at Gardangarl (also known as Field Island) at the mouth of the South Alligator River where Kakadu meets the sea. Catch a glimpse of the turtles from November to February when they climb upon shore to lay their clutches, each holiday over 50 eggs each!

Travellers Tip: Kakadu Wild Expeditions have tours departing from March - October from 3-5 days.

www.kakaduwild.com.au

Deck Chair Cinema Not in the mood for hitting the bars this evening?

Why not check out what’s on at the Deck Chair Cinema, viewing perfection under the Southern Hemispheres’ starry night. www.deckchaircinema.com.au Mindil Beach Sunset Market Everybody loves a classic market. World famous Mindil Markets are renowned for awesome sunsets over the sea, in a relaxed, yet vibrant, tropical setting. Sunday and Thursday, April to October. www.tourismtopend.com.au Crocosaurus Cove A must see NT attraction that boasts the largest collection of Australian reptiles and some of the largest ‘Salty Crocs’! And if you are feeling brave, opt for the once in a lifetime ‘Cage of Death’ experience bringing you face to face with these fantastic beasts! Find out more and book here: www.crocosauruscove.com

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Rock Out In The NT

THE ULTIMATE WEST COAST ADVENTURE OVER 12 DAYS The perfect adventure for the ultimate traveller who wishes to camp under the stars, take cooling dips in the crystal clear waters of Karijini National Park and hike through the scenic national parks.

Ending on the shores of the stunning Cable Beach in Broome, this tour with Kimberley Wild stops off on all of the must-see destinations along the West Coast towards Broome. With camping and double/ twin share accommodation included, this tour is also suitable for those who require their own ensuite facilities, and campsites with proper showering facilities for the adventure who doesn’t like to “rough it” too much!

From the moment you depart from Perth you’re immersed in adventure as you explore the Pinnacles Desert, Jurien Bay, Kalbarri National Park and the beautiful Shell Beach. The unique landscapes, huge sand dunes at Jurien Bay and diverse scenery at all of these areas are sure to make you get your camera out.

Make friends with the famous dolphins at Monkey Mia (a favourite for many people, of course!) and continue to Coral Bay and Exmouth.

Swim the waters of the stunning Ningaloo Reef as you take in the kaleidoscopic marine life. Should you visit between April and August you may even come face to face with the whale sharks as they migrate through the waters of Australia’s west coast. It’s time for some free time in Exmouth, whilst watching the Kangaroos hop about at sunset on the grounds of Kimberley Wild’s very own campsite.

Karijini National Park is a real highlight toward the end of your trip where you’ll see lush forests, cascading waterfalls, watering holes and native wildlife. Here you’ll spend two full days soaking up this truly magical spot before heading to the Pilbara Region.

The final day of the tour brings you to the epic Eighty Mile Beach before arriving in tropical Broome. During the afternoon you’ll have the chance to visit Chinatown, and learn about its colourful history as well as drive through Old Broome. After learning about Broome’s history you’ll have the chance to witness genuine dinosaur footprints at Gantheaume Point before taking in the famous Cable Beach sunset.

www.kimberleywild.com.au

Australia’s Northern Territory is world famous for it’s epic rock formations, and no pilgrimage to Australia is complete without visiting possibly the most famous rock on Earth, Uluru.

But it’s not just Uluru that takes first place in the Northern Territory. It’s in this wild northern state that you’ll also find the equally impressive Devils Marbles and The Olgas. Not heard of these rocky rivals to the great red rock? Well here’s a little info on how best to explore the area.

Embarking on Mulgas Adventures Alice Springs to The Rock tour will take you on an epic discovery of these geological marvels.

Setting off at 6am you’ll be picked up and taken to the Cultural Centre where you will learn about the Aboriginal heritage and culture of Australia’s Red Centre. After this you will have the chance to walk around the enormous monolith, and enjoy a glass of bubbly as you take in the crimson glow of Uluru at sunset.

After a night’s camping under the stars, you’ll awake to get a full view of Uluru at sunrise when the rock awakens again to an illuminating glow from the blinding Aussie sun. From here it’s off to Kata Tjuta, also known as The Olgas. The Olgas are a group of large domed rocks 365 km southwest of Alice Springs.

You will then visit Kings Creek Station where you’ll enjoy a proper Outback BBQ. Whilst in the area you will also embark on the Kings Canyon rim walk and then enjoy a free camel ride!

Heading back to Alice Springs overnight you’ll set off at 5am to the Devils Marbles.

Also known as Karlu Karlu, these great round boulders litter the landscape in an otherworldly fashion. Whilst here you’ll have time to walk around the large rocks and learn about the Aboriginal Dreamtime and religious significance of the area to the Aboriginal people.

On the last day of the tour it’s time for a little relaxation as you visit the Mataranka Thermal Springs for a soothing dip and also the stunning Edith Falls where you can have one last refreshing swim before arriving back in Darwin.

www.mulgasadventures.com.au

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Meet the Ningaloo Reef’s Big 5

The Ningaloo Reef is one of the world’s most pristine marine eco-systems for snorkeling, diving and seeing incredible aquatic wildlife.

This beautiful peripheral reef is one of the most easily accessible in the world. To get there, head to Coral Bay or Exmouth, which is a twoand-a-half-hour flight from Perth, or make the most of the West Coast by travelling the West Coast from Perth with Hop On Hop Off Pass.

When you arrive in Coral Bay or Exmouth there are plenty of hostels that provide front door access to this underwater playground. At this UNESCO World Heritage Site, you’ll have

the opportunity to see some impressive giants of the ocean and tick them off your bucket list!

The Ningaloo Reef is home to impressive wildlife as well as seasonal marine visitors as they make their way through the Indian Ocean. Here’s the big 5 to look out for whilst visiting the Ningaloo Reef.

Humpback Whales

Between June and October/ November, enormous humpback whales make their annual migration back to Antarctica via the coasts of Australia. You may be able to spot them from the shores of Exmouth, but for a closer encounter, there are whale watching tours available from Coral Bay and Exmouth.

Manta Rays

One of the main natural attractions of this area are the graceful manta rays, which can be found in the waters surrounding the Ningaloo Reef all year round. However, they are more concentrated in numbers, and more willing to engage with snorkelers and divers from mid-May to midSeptember. It’s possible to book tours specifically designed to swim or dive with the manta rays, so don’t miss out on meeting these graceful and otherworldly giants of the deep during your visit to the Ningaloo Reef.

Whale Sharks

The whale shark is the world’s largest fish, and Ningaloo Reef is one of the only places in the world where they can be observed in coastal waters. They

feed in this area from March to August/September and it’s an unbelievable experience to come face-to-face with these incredibly huge creatures. Think we’re exaggerating? Whale Sharks on average measure at around 32 feet, however the largest ever recorded was 40 feet long!

Dugongs

Ningaloo has a healthy population of dugongs, which can be found at any time of year. This strange looking creature is an herbivore and closely related to the manatee. They are classified as having an extremely vulnerable extinction risk and the Ningaloo Reef is one of the only places in the world to see them.

Encountering a dugong is quite special, as they are extremely shy and elusive creatures.

Loggerhead Turtles

This gorgeous and vulnerable turtle is an endangered species which is currently protected by the Wildlife Conservation Act. They can be found nesting in the Muiron Islands, near the Ningaloo Marine Park, from October to early March. Hatchlings appear from December to April. It’s best to contact the Ningaloo Turtle Program to ensure viewing them responsibly.

Traveller Tip:

Save yourself a ton on travel throughout Western Australia with Integrity Coachline’s Hop On Hop Off Pass and get 10% off when you quote BBMLIVE5. www.integritycoachlines.com.au

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Explore South West Australia Over 3 Days Escape the soaring summer temperatures with a trip to Australia’s South West!

Explore the lush towns of Albany, Denmark, Pemberton, Augusta, Margaret River and Busselton on Aussie Wanderer’s 3 day tour of this gorgeous region.

Here’s a little of what you can expect…

Day 1 – Departing From Perth

Departing from Perth, day one on this group tour begins with a drive

through Jarrah Forest and sheep farming country before lunch at the striking Stirling Ranges. Next up is Castle Rock and the skywalk within Porongurup National Park for spectacular views. Continue onwards to Albany and, if the weather allows, enjoy the sunset at Mt Clarence and settle down for the night at your provided accommodation in Albany.

Day 2 – Albany to Augusta Waking up in Albany, your adventure continues as you visit

the incredible natural sites of The Gap, Natural Bridge and Blowholes along the coast.

Heading west towards Denmark, you get to explore the beauty of William Bay National Park, home to the turquoise waters of Greens Pool and the large boulders of Elephant Rocks that sit silently in the water. From this stunning oasis, you enter the Valley of the Giants and Ancient Empire for the breath-taking Tree Top Walk 40m above the forest floor. After some lunch, you have the option to climb the Fire Lookout Tree before travelling onwards to Augusta where you spend your final night.

Day 3 - Margaret River

The third and final day kicks off with a visit to Cape Leeuwin, the most southwesterly point on mainland Australia and where the Indian and Southern Oceans meet.

Next, you make your way into the Margaret River region, where you get to try the famous wine, explore a spectacular cave and visit Prevelly Beach and Surfers Point.

Before heading back to Perth, you have one last stop to marvel at the Busselton Jetty, the longest of its kind in the southern hemisphere.

The 3-Day South West Tour departs every Saturday from 1st November to 31st March.

From $525pp, two nights accommodation, meals, transport, park entry fees, activities and an experienced tour guide are included.

aussiewanderer.com.au

From the Rock To the Reef With Australia being one of the largest countries on earth, it may come as no surprise that the terrain can vary greatly. From the dusty, arid Red Centre to the lush tropical rainforests of Queensland, Adventure Tours’ Rock To Reef Overland tour will take you on one heck of a journey through some of Australia’s most wild and untamed territory.

Australia’s Red Centre

Your adventure starts in Alice Springs where you’ll have the pleasure of visiting the stunning Uluru as well as Kata Tjuta (formerly known as The Olgas). This leg of the tour will enable you to see the rusty Red Centre in all its dramatic glory whilst you get to know your fellow tour mates who you’ll be sharing your epic journey with.

Aboriginal Culture

Whilst visiting the Red Centre you will learn about the land and the

local Mala people by taking an interpretive walk with an Aboriginal guide who will provide information on the most ancient culture on Earth. After this you will also have the chance to purchase some genuine Aboriginal arts and crafts at the Cultural Centre before camping overnight in the Watarrka National Park. But don’t stock up with too much, as this is just the beginning of your journey.

Kings Canyon

Early the next morning you’ll be in prime position to explore Kings Canyon. Through a 6km hike through the Canyon you’ll discover the Lost City and the Garden Of Eden - epic names for some epic locations. Immersed in stunning scenery, you’ll want to take as many photos as possible so you have lasting memories of the epic landscape before returning to Alice Springs to embark on the next part of your journey.

Going Off Grid

After a day of rest and recovery in Alice Springs it’s time to hit the dusty old road. And when we say dusty, we mean dusty! The road that

takes you over the border from the Northern Territory to Queensland is mostly an actual dirt track and is one of the most remote routes in the entire world. After a long day’s driving (total of 9 hours) you’ll arrive in Boulia, Queensland.

Rainforests & Waterfalls

Driving from Boulia to Hughenden and on to Cairns, you’ll see the landscape transform from dry desert to lush rainforests leaving your memories of the arid Red Centre far behind. As you make your way to Cairns you’ll have the chance to experience the lush rainforests.

As we drive through the Atherton Tablelands we stop for a swim at Millstream Falls and then onto Porcupine Creek before arriving in Cairns where you can make your onward travel arrangements and perhaps explore the wonders of the Great Barrier Reef.

Should you be starting your journey in Cairns this 7-day tour is also available in reverse.

Find more tours at www.adventuretours.com.au

Images courtesy of Tourism Western Australia

Explore Australia from the inside out with Adventure Tours Australia’s Rock to Reef Tour.

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Welcome To The Zoo Without Fences

Often referred to as a zoo without fences, Kangaroo Island is where you’ll find an abundance of native Australian wildlife. From swimming with dolphins off the Island’s shores to walking amongst the residents of the aptly named ‘Seal Bay’ there’s many reasons that make KI the Noah’s Ark of South Australia.

Kangaroo Island (or KI as the locals call it) presents the perfect setting to view loads of wildlife with the backdrop of a natural setting. From craggy rocks to sprawling sands and thick bushland you never know what you might find rustling around.

One of the best places to start your KI safari is the Flinders Chase National Park. Flinders Chase is located at the western end of Kangaroo Island and one of Australia’s largest national parks covering 74,000 hectares of untouched bushland. The park is home to a variety of fauna, including the unique Kangaroo Island kangaroo (yes they are different to the kangaroos on the mainland!), koalas, Tammar wallabies, echidnas, the endangered Cape Barren Geese and even platypus.

Of courses, there’s also the aforementioned Seal Bay where

you’ll spot Australian Sea Lions as well as Australian fur seals as they lounge around on the sand.

A great way to experience all of these wonderful (and sometimes weird) Australian animals is on board a Kangaroo Island Adventure Tour. With a variety of tour packages available you can choose one to suit your time and budget requirements. Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours take you to the island’s best spots including Flinders Chase where you’ll visit the Remarkable Rocks, Admirals Arch and Seal Bay perfect for getting your fill of seals!

There’s also more animal action at Rob’s Sheep Shearing where you can learn about the sheep shearing industry on Kangaroo Island as well as witnessing some sheep shearing and wool spinning, first hand. If koalas are the creature that enticed you to Australian shores then you’ll be able to find these at Hanson Bay Koala Sanctuary on the Island.

The great thing is Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours guides are all locals who know the island like the back of their hand so you’ll be sure not to miss a thing whilst visiting.

Whilst you will see all the major highlights on a Kangaroo Island Adventure Tour you will also go a little bit off-the-

beaten track to places that not every tourist gets the chance to see, so you won’t go home with the same holiday snaps as everyone else!

Courtesy coach pick-ups are included in Adelaide from selected hostels and hotels to get you to the Adelaide Central Bus Station to join the bus transfer to the ferry.

The two-day tour operates Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays from September to October, Wednesdays and Saturdays from May to August , increasing to four days a week in April and November and then daily from December to March.

Traveller Tip: Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours’ 2 day tour is currently just $445 per person. Tour includes all entry fees to KI’s attractions, all meals, Rob’s Sheep Shearing and Sheepdogs, Emu Ridge Eucalyptus Distillery, Seal Bay, Little Sahara, Vivonne Bay, Hanson Bay Wildlife Sanctuary, Remarkable Rocks and Admirals Arch inside Flinders Chase National Park.

To find out more call 1300 795 447 (in Australia), or +61 8 8202 8678 or visit www.kiadventuretours.com.au to book online.

FLINDERS RANGES, SOUTH AUSTRALIA array of wildlife making for a wonderful experience, so no matter what you’re passionate about, there will be something for anyone visiting. From nature to nurture - via a vineyard or 6, here are a few suggestions on how to spend your time visiting the Flinders Ranges...

Taste the local Flinders’ wine

Visit one of Australia’s oldest landmarks dating back nearly 600 million years! The Flinders Ranges are an ancient mountain range in South Australia and are a must whilst you’re travelling through South Australia.

The largest mountain range in South Australia, the Flinders Ranges cover 430 km (265 miles) from Port Pirie to Lake Callabonna and can be found approximately 462 km north of Adelaide. With the region experiencing a semi-arid climate with hot dry summers and cool winters, the Flinders Ranges make for a great trip any time of year. However, if you’re visiting in the cooler

months (June - August) make sure you pack appropriately - especially if you’re planning on hiking and camping in the Flinders Ranges.

Set in the heart of the South Australian outback it is approximately a five hour road trip from Adelaide to the Ranges. Upon your arrival at the Flinders Ranges you’ll get to witness the beautiful scenery and gorges that make for a real outback Aussie adventure!

Flora, Fauna, Water or Wine?

The Flinders Ranges are steeped in Aboriginal history and home to a vast

South Australia is world famous for wine and this area now has over twenty growers all producing some of the most wonderful wines Australia has to offer. The Southern Flinders Ranges are renowned for Shiraz, however if you fancy drinking some Riesling, Cabernet Sauvignon, or Merlot whilst in beautiful surroundings then the Southern Flinders Ranges are the perfect place to do so. With numerous awards won by winemakers and a vast array of tours on offer, you’ll experience a real wine tasting adventure in the heart of a historical destination.

Unique cuisine This is not the ‘I’m a Celebrity’ challenges you witness on TV! But you can’t visit Australia without eating some of the grub they are famous for! Travelling through the Flinders you will be able to tickle your taste buds by trying dishes such as emu egg omelette, kangaroo tail soup or how about camel sirloin! Sounds good, no?

Have a real outback adventure!

No visit to the Flinders Ranges would be complete without a campfire and gazing at the stars in the night sky! However, if you want to live like a real Aussie in the outback, then you could do a farmstay at a retreat such as Coodlie Park on the Eyre Peninsula.

Sheep and cattle stations have been a huge part of South Australia’s outback for more than 150 years and now many farms across the Flinders provide a unique Aussie experience for visitors.

You can visit the Flinders Ranges via Nullarbor Traveller’s Adelaide to Perth (or reverse) tours.

TRAVEL DEALS:

Book a Southern Ocean Wildlife Adventure Tour now for 2017/2018 and receive 10% off with promo code BBMLIVE Book a Secrets of Esperance Tour now for 2017/2018 and receive 10% off with promo code BBMLIVE6 Book an Adelaide to Perth 10 Day Camping Adventure Tour now for 2017/2018 and receive 15% off! Use promo code BBMLIVE10 Book now at www.nullarbortraveller.net

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Island Life

Nothing screams Aussie adventure more than the thought of spending a few days castaway on a desert island, but when we say desert island we actually mean the world’s largest sand island.

Fraser Island is situated off the coast of Queensland across the waters of Hervey Bay, north of the Sunshine Coast. Fraser Island boasts one of the longest beaches in the world, Seventy-Five Mile Beach as well as some stunning lakes such as Lake McKenzie and Lake Wabby.

Away from the water you’ll also find stunning, ancient and towering rainforests that will leave you breathless in awe of their lush and peacefulness.

Whilst visiting Fraser Island you can embark on a real adventure as you explore via 4WD, cruising along the sandy beaches or overlanding through the bumpy terrain of the forests. Camping under the stars and feasting on a proper Aussie BBQ whilst you take in the tranquility of the place which will leave you with memories to last a lifetime.

You can cool off during the day with a dip in Lake McKenzie as you peer through its crystal clear waters, or soothe your aches with a visit to the Champagne Pools - a natural jaccuzzi created by waves crashing into the rock pools!

Fraser Island also plays host to dingos that you’ll often see on the beaches,

as well as being a great place for whale-spotting.

Hervey Bay is known as the Whale Watching Capital of the World, and between August and October each year, you are more than likely to spot a migrating mother and calf Humpback or two as they pass through the calm and warm waters close to the Island.

It’s on Fraser that you’ll also find the decaying and eerily stunning Maheno Wreck - a shipwreck that has been on the beach since it was washed ashore by a cyclone in 1935.

If you’re looking for adventure during your East Coast travels, then it certainly starts on Fraser Island.

dropbearadventures.com.au

VISIT THE GREAT BARRIER REEF BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE

Although it was stated in 2014 that the Great Barrier Reef was disappearing due to bleaching, it seems as though shock and horror has now set in that the earth’s largest living structure may well be gone within the next two decades.

Due to the current El Niño effect, higher water temperatures and climates are ravaging the Great Barrier Reef leaving it pallid and discoloured. What was once one of the most vibrant and colourful displays of marine life on the entire planet is now being wiped out by this destructive natural event.

GREAT BARRIER REEF TOURS

Island Hopping The Whitsundays With their great value for money Island Hopper Pass, you’re able to explore the islands at your own pace.

Awesome Whitsundays have high speed cruise vessels that transfer guests and day trippers alike from the mainland to both Hamilton Island and Daydream Island. Both islands have a great array of activities for you to experience, and Daydream Island is home to one of the world’s largest outdoor aquariums – so don’t forget your swimsuit and goggles!

It was reported in August 2016 by Climate Home that 69% of visitors to the Great Barrier Reef were motivated to make the journey due to the fear of never getting another chance to. Having narrowly escaped the Endangered list back in 2016, however it’s believed that the United Nations World Heritage Committee and UNESCO may list the Reef as ‘in danger’ following meetings this year regarding the mass bleaching.

Sleep on the Great Barrier Reef

Between February and March last year, sea temperatures were at least 1 celsius above average causing the coral to be stressed and release the colourful algae that sustains it. This in turn resulted in 67% of a 700 kilometre stretch of the Reef in the north has now perished due to the major bleaching event. The bleaching that has occurred is most severe in the northern stretches of the 2,300 kilometer structure, with only 1% of the southern parts of the Reef affected by bleaching, meaning you can still see the vibrant corals and their tropical residents off the shores of popular destinations such as Airlie Beach and the Whitsunday Islands.

Sailing The Whitsunday Islands

The worry for the future of the Great Barrier Reef does not solely lie with the corals, but also with the marine life that live around the Reef. With the area being home to six of the world’s seven species of endangered marine turtle, as well as 10% of the world’s entire fish species and 30 species of whale, dolphin and porpoise. It is believed that climate change due to carbon emissions is a major factor of the rise in temperatures, however the Australian Government have put a 2050 conservation plan in place to help reduce the destruction of the Great Barrier Reef - although this is slightly contradicted by their efforts to support the growing coal industry. For now the future of the 18 million year old reef hangs in the balance, so make sure you don’t leave it too late to visit this world wonder…

One of the most tranquil places on earth, take advantage of Awesome Whitsundays Reefsleep package which enables you to actually bed down for the night on their pontoon out on the Great Barrier Reef. With their Reefsleep package you can spend the day diving or snorkelling and spend the night seeing which creatures of the deep float to the surface.

There’s no doubt about it, the Whitsunday Islands are a sailor’s paradise, so why not take advantage of Awesome Whitsundays Reef & Whitehaven Adventure which includes climbing on board the stunning ‘Camira’ – a high speed catamaran that has been built for speed and comfort.

Whilst using this vessel as a base for your trip you can swim and snorkel on your way to Whitehaven Beach.

Castaway with snorkeling and staying overnight on the Reef Combining all the above Awesome Whitsundays also offer 5 days and 5 nights on their Castaway Package where you can combine sailing around the islands on ‘Camira’ as well as snorkelling at the Great Barrier Reef on Great Barrier Reef Adventures. You won’t be ready to leave when the day trippers go, and you don’t have to as tonight your sleeping under the stars on a ‘Reefsleep’. Wake up to a stunning sunrise and listen to the reef come alive. Snorkel some more or just chill out for the day before heading back to Airlie Beach. Spend the last two days exploring Hamilton Island or Daydream Island, as well as Airlie Beach town.

www.awesomewhitsundays.com

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The Best View in Queensland Go above and beyond Queensland’s World Heritage listed Wet Tropics rainforest with Skyrail Rainforest Cableway.

Perfect for a weekend away and a must do whilst visiting Tropical North Queensland. This Cairns attraction is one of the greatest journeys you can take in Australia.

A unique experience, you’ll encounter the rainforest in a truly unique way by travelling 7.5km in a gondola that is suspended just metres above the rainforest canopy, giving you spectacular views as far as the Coral Sea and Cairns Highlands. Not only do you glide over rivers and the rainforest, you also make two stops at mid-stations to stretch your legs and explore the forest more closely.

A Skyrail Ranger meets you at Red Peak Station for a guided boardwalk tour of the ancient tropical rainforest, where they share their knowledge of the giant buttress roots, towering Kauri Pines, climbing wait-a-while palms and other flora and fauna that surround you in this fascinating eco-system. After your tour, be sure to take the time to absorb the beauty and atmosphere of the rainforest before re-boarding Skyrail Rainforest Cableway to Barron Falls Station.

The all weather walkways at Barron Falls Station lead to

three separate lookouts and more breathtaking views of Barron Gorge and Falls which are at their most spectacular during the wet season from December to March. Also make sure you take the time to visit the Rainforest Interpretation Centre that was created by Skyrail in partnership with the CSIRO (Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation).

Skyrail Rainforest Cableway is located just 15 minutes from Cairns city centre and 50 minutes from Port Douglas, and is open every day except Christmas Day and during scheduled maintenance. It is a multiple award winner for its excellence in sustainable tourism and is accessible for all ages and abilities, making it the best and most beautiful rainforest experience in the world.

For tour packages and prices, visit skyrail.com.au

72 HOURS IN TNQ Tropical North Queensland is home to two of the most renowned World Heritage listed sites on earth, the Great Barrier Reef and Wet Tropics Rainforest. Where rainforest meets reef, travellers can discover the region through an awesome array of activities. With so much to experience we’ve put together an action packed, 3-day itinerary. Explore north of Cairns, Port Douglas and Cape Tribulation, from the depths of the oceans to over the treetops!

Day 1 10:00AM SKYRAIL RAINFOREST CABLEWAY Departing from Smithfield Station embrace Australia’s World Heritage listed Tropical Rainforest canopy from the comfort of a gondola. With two rainforest mid stations you can jump off and discover Red Peak and Barron Falls’ guided walks, lookouts and historical displays.

www.skyrail.com.au 11:30AM KURANDA “VILLAGE IN THE RAINFOREST” With a diverse range of markets, shops, restaurants and cafes, Kuranda is a perfect location to explore and grab a bite to eat. You may also want to check out one of its many attractions from the butterfly sanctuary to colourful bird aviary, Koala Park or walking tracks.

2:00PM KURANDA SCENIC RAILWAY ‘All aboard’ the scenic railway and snake your way back down the Macalister Ranges to Freshwater Station where you can jump on an inclusive transfer and return to your car at Smithfield.

3:30PM An hour drive north and you’ll arrive in Port Douglas. Check into the recently renovated, Coral Beach Lodge, which is in the perfect location to explore the town from. Why not take an evening stroll and catch a stunning sunset at Four-Mile Beach, voted in Australia’s ‘Best Beach’ lists every year. www.coralbeachlodge.com Day 2 9:00AM RIVER DRIFT SNORKELLING Spend your dreamy morning drifting down the crystal clear Mossman River. Keep your eyes peeled for the elusive platypus, turtles and river fish, while electric blue Butterflies flutter above. www.backcountrybliss.com.au 12:30PM Refuel at lunchtime in Port Douglas before taking a 20-minute drive to the Mossman Gorge Centre.

2:00PM MOSSMAN GORGE CENTRE: RAINFOREST CIRCUIT TRACK Enjoy a 2.4km (45 minutes) round walk through luscious green rainforest. Gaze at the stunning Mount Demi from the lookout. Once back at the centre check out the indigenous

art gallery and relax with a cool drink in the Mayi Café. www.mossmangorge.com.au 4:00PM Hit the road and drive 1½ hours north to Cape Tribulation.

Check in at the tropical getaway, Ferntree Rainforest Lodge.

With a range of accommodation options from as little as $30 per night it is the perfect place for you to relax before tomorrow’s adventures. Enjoy an evening meal at the onsite Cassowary Café. www.ferntreerainforestlodge.com.au Day 3 8AM OCEAN SAFARI No visit to TNQ is complete without a trip on the infamous Great Barrier Reef. Ocean Safari’s eco tour offers the perfect solution! This half-day tour takes you to two fabulous snorkel destinations (Mackay and Undine), each with an extraordinary array of marine life and coral species. Want to travel further afield, hop on one of Ocean Rafting’s tours out to Whitehaven Beach where you’ll be immersed in beauty. www.oceansafari.com.au/ www.oceanrafting.com.au 12:30 On your return grab a bite to eat in the relaxed environment of Turtle Rock Café. With dishes made from wholesome, local, fresh produce get your energy levels back up for an exhilarating afternoon among the trees!

15:30 JUNGLE SURFING CANOPY TOUR Experience the rainforest on another level and spend your afternoon soaring through the trees 20m high above the jungle floor. Standing heart-to-heart with the world’s oldest rainforest on this fully-guided ziplining tour you can marvel at the spectacular bird’s eye views over the trees and out to the reef. www.junglesurfing.com.au TRAVELLING TO AND AROUND CAIRNS Fly one-way to Cairns from Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney and more for as little as $59. www.webjet.com.au Car Hire - from as little as $140 for 4 days www.rentalcars.com

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A Girl’s Guide To Solo Travel in India

Travel Blog, Girl About The Globe unveil what it’s really like to travel throughout India as a woman, as well as all the best places to put on your travel itinerary...

Home to over a billion people, India is a country of contradictions – snake charmers and holy men dressed in loincloths loitering outside internet cafes, and some of the world’s deepest cultural and religious traditions prospering amidst extreme poverty and pollution.

Your feelings about India will likely be conflicted as well. One moment you’ll love it, and the next moment you’ll be cursing your train for being 12 hours late.

With patience, time, and an open-minded attitude, India will reveal its secrets to you, and the rough moments of travelling solo in India, will all seem worth it.

Start in Delhi, India’s capital and a good place to slowly familiarize yourself with India’s cultures and rhythms. Wander through the streets of Old Delhi, and visit the famous Red Fort. Old Delhi’s twisting alleys and markets are also wonderful for picking up saris, spices, art pieces, and other crafts. If you visit only one museum in India, check out New Delhi’s National Museum, which is packed with historical artefacts from India’s recent and not-sorecent past. New Delhi also boasts some of India’s finest restaurants and nightlife but venturing out as part of a group will definitely be safer.

From Delhi, take a couple of days for a side trip. Visit Rajasthan, with its stunning cities set against a dramatic desert landscape.

Highlights include Jaipur (the Pink City) and Jodhpur (the Blue City). Both cities offer excellent shopping and are exceptionally photogenic due to their monochromatic old quarters. Jaipur is about 5-6 hours from Delhi, depending on whether you take the train or the bus, and Jodhpur is about twice as far. Both cities offer a maze of temples, palaces, and bazaars to explore.

Once you’re back in Delhi, you’ll need to decide if you want to branch out into northern India or southern India. If northern India beckons (the best bet for solo female travellers), your next stop is Agra and the nearby Taj Mahal. If instead you’re heading south from Delhi, you can still visit the Taj Mahal as a long day trip from Delhi before departing – it’s about 3 ½ hours one way by train. Not surprisingly, the Taj Mahal is overrun by tourists – Indians and foreigners alike. Your best bet is to visit this spectacular

landmark early in the morning to beat the crowds. Agra pales in comparison to other Indian cities, so it’s best to make a quick stop here and continue on to Varanasi via an overnight train.

Hindus consider Varanasi as one of the holiest cities in India, and it is said that if you die here, you will immediately be liberated from the endless cycle of death and rebirth.

Millions of Indians make a pilgrimage here either to bathe in the sacred Ganges, upon which the city is perched, or to cremate a family member. Touring the old town and wandering through its ghats (steps leading down to the Ganges either for bathing or ceremonial purposes) is intense, picturesque, and not-to-be-missed. It should go without saying, but don’t photograph funerals or cremations, and keep a respectful distance. You can organize boat tours onto the Ganges, and Varanasi’s daily evening ceremonies – complete with music, dance, and all manner of holy men – are amazing.

To reach the true heart of northern India, you’ll need to take the overnight train (or fly) back to Delhi. From Delhi, it’s about 7 hours by train or bus to Rishikesh, first made famous by The Beatles and now considered the yoga capital of India. Rishikesh also sits on the Ganges, and you’ll find a wide variety of yoga courses, meditation retreats, ashrams, and massage classes available to help you wind down from the chaos you’ve likely experienced thus far. Beware – not all yoga and meditation courses are created equal, so do your research before signing up. For more active travellers, Rishikesh is also a fantastic place to organize white water rafting trips and treks into the nearby Himalayas.

Another highlight of northern India is Dharamsala and nearby McLeod Ganj, home to the Tibetan government in exile. If you’re lucky, you can catch the Dalai Lama while he’s home, but check ahead, as he travels frequently. These two towns offer a multitude of worthy volunteer opportunities helping the Tibetan refugee community, as well as a glimpse into India’s Buddhist traditions.

If you really want to see the Himalayas in their full glory, head to Ladakh, in the far northwest. Ladakh is accessible by road during the summer months, but you’ll need to fly in the winter as the road closes due to heavy snow. The Buddhist city of Leh is a great base from which to organize

further explorations in Ladakh. The region offers outstanding trekking, cultural tours, homestays, and a peek into centuries-old traditions. In general, Ladakh is also one of the safer areas in India for solo female travellers.

If southern India’s beaches and spicy dishes are more your style, head south from Delhi to Goa. Flying is the best choice for this journey, unless you want to spend multiple days on the train. Be careful in Goa – although it has something of a reputation as an international party destination, you’re still in India. Carefully observe what others are wearing before breaking out your bikini at the beach. When you tire of sunbathing, nearby Hampi offers a relatively quiet escape. Time seems to have stopped in Hampi, and you’ll love wandering through 15th century ruins and climbing on the wildly shaped rock formations.

Heading further south, visit Kerala, perhaps India’s most progressive state. Cruise the lazy backwaters between Alleppey and Kollam and if you’ve got a group and rupees to spare, renting a houseboat is the way to travel in style. Visit the ashram of Amma, the famous “Hugging Mother,” and one of India’s few female gurus. Amma’s ashram is in Amritapuri, and as with the Dalai Lama, check her schedule first to make sure that she will be in residence.

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agreed on a price with the driver in advance, no tip is necessary. Don’t feel guilty shooing away anyone pestering you for an unearned or undeserved tip – you will probably find yourself doing so frequently!

Fixed price or barter? Bartering is appropriate and expected at markets and less-expensive hostels and hotels.

Expect fixed prices at restaurants and upscale hotels. Often, fixed-price shops will have a sign informing you of the fact that bartering is off-limits.

Any ATMs? ATMs exist in tourist areas.

However, be sure to arrive with at least a little bit of cash, as most transactions require it, and you cannot count on your border-crossing point to have an ATM (even if it is an airport).

Which side of the road do they drive?

On the left-hand side.

Good for vegetarians? India is a vegetarian’s idea of paradise. Many of the country’s religions mandate vegetarianism, and you will find an abundance of delicious vegetarian dishes everywhere you travel.

Any seven wonders of the world? Taj Mahal in Agra.

Article and image by Girl about the Globe. Subscribe to Girl about the Globe for a free ebook on How To Travel Solo. www.girlabouttheglobe.com

If you really want to get away from it all, fly out to the Andaman Islands, featuring pristine beaches, excellent snorkelling and diving opportunities, and dozens of local tribes and cultures.

See many of the sites mentioned in this guide via Travel Talk’s Essential India and Nepal 16 day tour which ends in Kathmandu, Nepal. www.traveltalktours.com.

This is just a sliver of what awaits you in India; a truly dedicated traveller could spend her whole life exploring the subcontinent and still touch only a fraction of it. Whatever portion of India you do visit, you’ll come away enchanted, changed, and glad you undertook the adventure!

Asia Tours For 2017...

India FAQ’s

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Can I drink the water? No, buy bottled with sealed tops instead.

Is tipping expected? Leave a small tip after eating in a restaurant. If you have hired a guide or a driver for multiple days, tip accordingly. Some hotels have “tip boxes” at their front desks, and leaving a tip in such a box is much appreciated but not required. When traveling by tuk-tuk or taxi, if you have

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India tours from $596 from 8 to 16 days including the Taj Mahal, Delhi and Jaipur.

Nepal tours from $922 over 9 days including Kathmandu, the Himalayas and Chitwan National Park.

Cambodia tours from $310 from 5 13 days including Angkor Wat, Siem Reap and Phnom Penh.

Thailand tours from $623 from 7 days including Bangkok, Chiang Mai amd Wat Rong Khun.

Alternatively see what Asia combination tours are available to tick off more countries from your bucket list.

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34

Explore The Last Dynasty

Forbidden City was the Chinese imperial palace from the Ming dynasty to the end of the Qing dynasty - the years 1420 to 1912.

Now, we’ll tell you now that this place is colossal and seemingly endless, so if you want to make the most of its many beautiful temples and gardens then start off early and make sure you have supplies with you.

There’s also some lovely gift shops, but leave those until you return to the entrance as the Forbidden City involves a hell of a lot of walking - as well as photo moments.

After a day’s exploring you’ll want to sample the Beijing nightlife. Depending on what kind of budget you’re on you could pop up to the Shangri La for a drink as the view over Tiananmen Square and the tiny dots of traffic below is well worth it, or head to one of Beijing’s many dive bars. A night in one of these bars slugging a few beers and listening to music you’ve never even heard of is a great way to see a more free and “underground” side to Chinese culture - just be prepared that depending on how much of a dive the bar you choose is it may have more Eastern style toilets - we’re just giving you the heads up as no one warned us.

Upon arriving in China you’re immediately confronted by the formality of the culture. When touching down in Beijing you’ll want to have filled out your landing card on the plane as all the screening machinery, passport control and customs officers are intimidating enough without lagging behind the crowd trying to fill out all the information they want to know about you. But don’t let any of this put you off. In fact it’s the first piece of communist culture you’re going to encounter so embrace it as part of the China experience.

Now, before we go any further let’s set a couple of things straight. Although China is controlled by a Communist Party Government it also partly allows Capitalism to the extent that China has one of the fastest growing economies in the world.

At first glance, it’s easy to think that Beijing is simply a wash of traffic and skyscrapers but look in between the buildings and traffic and you’ll see fruit vendors carrying their carts of wares around juxtaposed with street salesmen trying to sell miniature versions of knock off iPhones and other tech goods right on the doorsteps of the many glossy shops as well as many a fake handbag on offer.

Beijing may be one highly populated city with 21.7 million people, but is not as visually jarring as Tokyo or Hong Kong.

However, if there’s one thing that will jar you whilst you’re there it will be the sheer size of it. Tiananmen Square will instantly leave you feeling dwarfed by its expanse as armies patrol its length and breadth - a hangover from the 1989 protests (look it up before you visit). Whilst here you should spend some time observing the vastness of it before exploring the Forbidden City.

Walking under a great arch with Chairman Mao’s face gazing down at you, you’ll enter the Forbidden City. Again, this is another incredible place to swat up on before you visit, so you know how important it was.

However, for a light history lesson - The

A natural progression from Beijing is to go on to Shanghai. Now, Shanghai is the biggest city in the world, so make sure you have time to sample the extremely vibrant nightlife and get ready for a bit more of a vibrating neon vibe than in Beijing. This place is colourful and if you haven’t already spent all your pennies in Beijing then be sure to take advantage of the shopping on offer here.

Traveller’s Tip: Encounters 9 Day China Tour is a great blend of self exploration with all the highlights including Beijing, the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, The Forbidden City, Moganshan Peak, travel via bullet train to Shanghai as well as ZhuJiaJiao Water Town. Tours start from just £529. www.encounterstravel.com

TRAVEL ESSENTIALS This month’s edit of the best travel essentials is inspired by muted, yet glamorous tones as well as action, tech and health! Don’t go on your travels without these must haves!

8.

6.

2.

1.

7.

9.

3.

5.

4.

1.Don’t let your devices get too full up with the ADATA AI920 drive available in 32GB / 64GB / 128GB from $90 at Amazon.com 2. Track all your adventures with the YI4K Action Camera - $379 available on Amazon.com 3 Exercise anytime with the BackBeat Fit wireless and waterproof headphones - $181 from Amazon. co.uk 4. Keep fit anywhere with the TRX Suspension Trainer - $232 available from www.trxtraining.com 5. Enjoy your music with these cloudy white Libratone Q Adapt wireless on-ear headphones with Bluetooth - $365 - available from Libratone.com 6. Perfect for the transition from summer to autumn, we love QUAY’s The In Crowd in gold - $55 available from www.quayaustralia.com.au 7. Take your music with you anywhere with the gold Onkyo T3 Bluetooth speaker - $181 from Selfridges.com 8. Booq Daypack in grey for all your essentials - $125 available from Amazon.co.uk 9. Never hit the road without your water with these recyclable Can O Water - $1.60 from Wholefoods and www.canowater.com

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EUROPE’S CRAZIEST CULTURAL FESTIVALS

Don’t run away! When we say “culture” we’re not talking about Baroque fairs and lute recitals. Europeans have deep and relevant ties with their ancestors’ customs and cultures, and as such their biggest and best parties have an ancient connection that isn’t found in more modern societies.

That doesn’t mean, however, that they waste their partying time lamenting the passing of the olden days. Nay, European cultural festivals are booze-soaked knees-up, where entire villages/towns/cities turn out to get utterly sideways in the same way they’ve been doing since, in some cases, Jesus was just but a lad.

Here’s a little list of some of the more cultural shindigs that we’ll be hunting down in 2017.

Springfest/Fruhlingsfest

Well, we guess that the historical and cultural significance of Springfest is that historically and culturally Germans in general, and Bavarians in particular, have a thing for ringing in, or out, the seasons with copious amounts of the amber ale. Springfest is when the locals bid farewell to the harsher winter months, and ring in the breeding season with abundant beer, delicious food and, well, breeding (or practice breeding).

Las Fallas

Continuing the pre-Christian, pagan ritual of burning bonfires in order to chase away the winter, Las Fallas is the city of Valencia’s biggest party of the year, with almost the entire population turning out to watch giant and intricate statues go up in flames. 2017 will be no different, as carpenters and artists the city over collude to build the beautiful, 20-metre statues with the most flammable materials that they have on hand, before unleashing the pyromaniacs on them around midnight. Why? Because they’ve been doing it forever, that’s why.

La Batalla De Vino De Haro

Back in the day the local regent decided to end a border dispute once and for all by demanding

that the residents of Haro, La Rioja, annually mark their village’s territory with purple flags. Given that Haro is one of the world’s premier red-wine regions it didn’t take long for the flags to be stained with the local produce, before the annual flag marking descended into an all-in pitched battle where red wine is the only armament allowed. This is the perfect party for wine connoisseurs and lovers of mayhem alike.

EXPLORE MYKONOS

San Fermines

What, you thought that filling the streets with raging bulls was a new concept? The Running Of The Bulls has its origin in the old tradition of silly youths proving their bravery by trotting along with bulls when they were transported from farm to bullring. It proved to be such a popular method of proving one’s masculinity that these days there’s a multi-million euro industry built around what is essentially a terrible idea. If you’re not a thrill seeker, or have a moral aversion to the concept, don’t forget that the actual bull run takes up about five minutes of each day -- and the rest is filled with Nestled within the Cyclades group of islands in the Aegean Sea, Mykonos makes for a sangria-soaked street parties.

stunning Greek Island getaway.

La Tomatina

Ok, well this one really does just seem like it’s a gratuitous excuse to send high-velocity salad vegetables towards people’s faces. The history of this one is murky, and constantly changing, but it’s most likely that sometime in the last century a bunch of youths got a little bit frisky with an over abundant tomato stock and started slinging the red terrors at whoever had the misfortune of wandering into their range. The youths, however, were calling on the ancient Spanish tradition of throwing things in way of celebration, and now all over the country we find crazy parties involving projectiles, like this turnip throwing event that takes place every year in the mountains of western Spain’s Extremadura region.

Any of these festivals spark up your need to be a well-cultured global citizen? Or has your desire for celebratory mayhem been aroused?

Why not combine multiple fiestas under the one ticket with the Stoke Travel passport, and treat yourself to an educational tour around the world’s wildest parties.

Book at stoketravel.com

As you approach the shores of Mykonos you’re confronted by a picture perfect view of classic Greek architecture as the sun bounces off the bright white walls of the buildings. A mesh of tangled laneways drift their way inland from the sweeping sandy beaches littered with sunkissed visitors revealing overall, a postcard moment fit for any summer holiday.

Away from the calm of the scorching afternoon sun, as soon as the island is soothed by darkness a vibrant and pulsing atmosphere ensues. Packed to the brim with a bustling nightlife, Mykonos has been long been known as the gay-friendly Greek Island with its ample clubs and bars, but to this day attracts all walks of life. Being hailed as the premier clubbing destination within the Greek Islands, Mykonos is also renowned for being the most cosmopolitan.

Areas on the islands such as Little Venice and

Alefkantras make for the perfect place to start your evening off with a few cocktails. Of course whilst on the Island you’ll also have the chance to try some authentic Greek cuisine meaning you can’t pass up the chance to try Moussaka, Souvlaki, Gyros or some stunningly fresh local seafood.

Mykonos sits amongst the crystal blue waters of the Aegean Sea meaning every day can be spent cooling off in the mythically magical waters.

Mykonos sports different waves for different interests, with beaches such as Elias Beach and Ftelia Beach being perfect for waterskiing and surfing. If it’s a cool calm dip that calls you then Platis Gialos or Agrari Beach is where you’ll find this.

From the sleepy tavernas to the vibrant clubs, crashing waves to a shady cove - Mykonos offers all the perfect ingredients to your perfect summer holiday.

Find out more and book at www.sail-ingreece.com

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1. The lineup

SXM 2017: The Caribbean’s No. 1 Festival

Aimed to blow its grand opening year’s roster out the water, 2017 sees a very special bill as they invite the likes of Richie Hawtin, Âme (live), Nina Kraviz, Ricardo Villalobos, Jamie Jones, DJ W!LD, Black Coffee, M.A.N.D.Y., Soul Clap and many, many more to the island.

You can join the best spinners from around the globe at exclusive villa after parties, boats and beaches throughout.

2. The Main Stage is on the beach

Where else can you sift your toes through white sand, surrounded by palm trees and jiving torsos while listening to some of the most exceptional dance music around?

You can cool down in the clear turquoise sea or kick back, relax on a nearby sun lounger and take in the gorgeous scenery.

3. Secret jungle stage

Dubbed “the most beautiful festival in the world”, SXM takes place on an exquisite island in the Caribbean during March this year. Now in its second edition, this hedonistic party unfolds over the space of an entire week, and boasts some of the top DJ’s that the world has to offer.

The Canadian promoters also pride themselves on drawing out the most judicious of music lovers from all over the world to dance on the beach, as well as a number of locations all over the island. Here are five reasons why you should join in with one of most idyllic events in the underground electronic scene this year.

The festival takes place in a variety of locations all over the island, including a secret jungle stage at Loteri Farm. The area provides huts and infinity pools, as well as several bars and dancing podiums. Get lost amongst the trees; at night, the lights illuminate your surroundings and create a fairy like atmosphere as the heat from the day subsides.

Wear a coconut necklace or flamboyant headdress and let your senses run free while the culture and energy of the place overtake.

4. Water sports

With the festival being on an island, that means there are a variety of water sports on offer including jet skis, water skiing, wake boarding, banana boats, sailing, snorkelling, scuba diving and more. Thrill seekers can get involved with paragliding, parachuting or even a luxury helicopter. Take a breather from the dance floor and join in with some yoga or go solo on an adventurous biking trail. There are also two horse riding schools on the island so pick your noble steed and go for a trot!

5. So much more than a music festival

The island sports an interestingly diverse culture with one side being Dutch and the other French. This means there is a large variety of local cuisine on offer so don’t miss out, do some exploring and dine on some delicious treats while there.

SXM is offered as a music festival getaway but it is also an adventure with a like-minded community chasing unrestrained relaxation. It’s intimate and is curated to provide the ultimate experience as far from the working world as possible. Don’t miss out!

SXM Festival is held on the island of St Martin.

Find out more and book tickets:

sxmfestival.com

WANDER THROUGH THE INCAN WORLD

Located on the Western coast of Latin America is Peru – a haven for backpackers and budding adventurers. From seaside surfing paradises to jagged mountainous landscapes, to its rich historical heritage and fascinating Andean culture, Peru certainly has it all and is waiting to be explored.

With Free & Easy Traveler, you can discover the length and breadth of this majestic Incan land.

Free & Easy’s 20-day Wander Through The Incan World tour of Peru begins in the bustling capital of Lima – one of the gastronomical capitals of the world and a fantastic city to begin your trip and get a real feel for Peruvian culture.

Explore Peru’s world-famous markets that sell an abundance of wonderful Andean garments, fresh foods and classic Peruvian drinks such as horchata and pisco! First things first in Peru – try a searing fresh ceviche dish packed full of the flavours of zingy lime, red onion and cured fish.

After getting to know your Free & Easy buddies in the buzzing metropolis of Lima, the tour heads south to the incredible oasis town of Huacachina. The journey winds through Peruvian deserts until you reach this town nestled amongst the sand dunes and situated on the banks of a dreamy desert lagoon. The next day kicks off early with a spot of thrilling dune buggying before having a go at riding the dunes on a sandboard! This is a particularly

exhilarating excursion that is made all the more special amongst this breath-taking desert setting. After a night under the stars at Free and Easy’s very own camp, and a traditional Peruvian BBQ, the tour continues south to the beautiful town of Arequipa.Arequipa is an ancient Peruvian town dramatically situated amongst impressive volcano peaks.

Explore the town’s rich colonial heritage and discover the intricate architecture before heading away from the city to the Colca Canyon.

This river canyon is the world’s deepest and has been carved by centuries of water erosion, making for incredible scenery and above all – an amazing two days of trekking. This hike is a challenging mission given the terrain, the dramatic downhill descent into the heart of the canyon and, of course, the altitude. However, the hike is certainly worth it. You will spend two whole days surrounded by beautiful landscapes speckled with colourful flowers and alpine scenery as well occasionally spotting the unique wildlife.

Be wowed by the impressive wingspan of the condor or the quintessential Peruvian animal – the llama. After a spectacularly rewarding two-day hike, head to the local baths to soothe any aching limbs and get some rest before you hit Cusco!

This next stop is the beating heart of Peru and is the country’s de facto capital. With its incredible nightlife, picturesque colonial buildings and breath taking setting in the rolling hills of the Sacred Valley, Cusco will be one of your highlights on your journey throughout Peru. Of course, the city is also the base camp for backpackers and holidaymakers

with Machu Picchu next on their agenda.

No trip to Peru is complete without a visit to the incredible national heritage site and one of the Seven Wonders of the World – Machu Picchu. You will journey by train through the jaw-dropping landscape, where you will learn in depth about the ancient culture of the pre-Columbian empire, whilst taking in the landscape. Nothing can prepare you for the vast scenery and the clear devotion of this age-old civilisation, consecrated in this city in the sky.

This is the perfect place to round off your 20-day trip and the ideal spot to reflect on Peru’s incredible historical heritage, its natural beauty and your time in Peru before heading back to Cusco for a few days before departing for Lima, and then home.

Book your Peruvian adventure now from just £1,630 GBP per person. This price includes all your accommodation, group

travel, some meals and activities such as riding a dune buggy, sandboarding, desert camping, desert clean up, a Pisco tasting tour and a professionally guided tour of Machu Picchu! As with every Free & Easy tour, there’s also plenty of time to explore at your own leisure and if you fancy any

of the extra excursions offered on the way, such as zip lining over sweeping valleys, or white-water rafting in the thunderous lakes that weaves through the mountains – this can all be arranged!

www.freeandeasytraveler.com

By Oonagh Turner

Spend 20 days exploring this ancient corner of South America on an adventure tour of Peru.

www.bbmlive.com 37

ACCOMMODATION New South Wales Sydney The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com West End Backpackers 12 Pitt St Sydney NSW, 2000 Ph: 02 9211 4588 Free Phone: 1800 013 186 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.nomadsworld.com/westend Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au Kanga House backpackers 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au Sydney Northern Beaches Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

Port Stephens

Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au

Katoomba

Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au Blue Mountains Backpackers Hostel 144 Bathhurst Road, Katoomba, NSW 2780 Ph: 02 4782 9630 bluemountainsbackpackerhostel. com.au

Byron Bay Byron Bay Accom Ph: 02 66 808 666 Email: bookings@byronbayaccom. net www.byronbayaccom.net Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Ph: (02) 4406-3101 www.laketabourietouristpark.com.au

Maca’s Camping Ground Ph: 02 6684 5211 1156 Main Arm Rd, Upper Main Arm NSW 2482, Australia www.macascampingground.com/ macascampingground@gmail.com

Queensland

CEDAR CREEK LODGES THUNDERBIRD PARK Cnr of Cedar Creek Falls Rd & Tamborine Mountain Rd, Tamborine, QLD 4272 info@cedarcreeklodges.com.au www.cedarcreeklodges.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surfers Paradise Backpackers rsrt Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers. com.au

Port Douglas United Port Douglas

37 Warner Street, Port Douglas, QLD

Ph: 07 4099 5011 unitedportdouglas.com.au Airlie Beach Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

Cairns

Cairns Share House 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com

Cape Tribulation PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Rainbow Beach Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

Western Australia Perth

western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth WA Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Britannia On William 253 William Street, Northbridge, WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 www.perthbritannia.com EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au

Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

Kununurra Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au broome Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com. au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

Victoria redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704 Johanna Beach Cottages 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/ backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Northern Territory Darwin Youth Shack 69 Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 1300 793 302 youthshack.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 09 8941 7800 momdarwin.com Chillis Backpackers 69 Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 1800 351 313 chillis.com.au

Alice Springs Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au Haven Backpacker Resort 3 Larapinta Drive, Alice Springs Ph: 1800 79 4663 / 08 8952 4663 www.alicehaven.com.au

South Australia Adelaide Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers. com.au adelaidebackpackers.om.au

Melbourne

The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind. Minimum 2 week stay Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com Heron Island Ph: 02 9538 0751 www.heronisland.com

Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au

Rambutan 113 – 119 Flinders Street, Townsville 4810 enquiries@rambutantownsville.com Ph: 07 4771 6915 www.rambutantownsville.com

Boranup Forest Retreat 422 Sebbes Road, Forest Grove Ph: +61 404 895 901 www.boranupforestretreat.com.au monkey mia

21 Queen Street, Busselton, WA Ph: 08 9754 1615 www.diveshed.com.au

Wild Expeditions

Territory Expeditions

Shop 20, Johnny Chi Lane, Broome Ph: 1300 73 88 70 www.wildexpeditions.com.au

Ph: 1300 115 922 www.territoryexpeditions.com.au

Townsville

COOLIBAH LODGE 194 Brisbane Street Northbridge Perth WA Ph: (08) 9328 9958 www.coolibahlodge.com.au

OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS

1 Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 backpackers@obh.com.au www.obh.com.au

Boranup

Melbourne Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au United Backpackers 250 Flinders Street, Melbourne Ph: 03 9654 2616 unitedbackpackers.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au

THINGS TO DO Skydiving iFly Downunder 123 Mulgoa Road, Penrith, Sydney Ph: 1300 366 364 www.iflydownunder.com.au

Adventure Tours

Sydney Skydivers

Ph: 1800 293 7663 www.awesomewhitsundays.com

745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au

Southern Skydivers 2 hours South from Perth Busselton Ph: 1300 449 669 info@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au

Scuba Diving NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive. com.au

The Dive Shed Busselton

Awesome Whitsundays Australian Kayaking Adventures

PO Box 1055, Ashmore City, QLD Ph: 04 1294 0135 www.australiankayakingadventures. com.au

Skyrail Rainforest Cableway Cnr Captain Cook Highway and Cairns Western Arterial Road Smithfield, QLD Ph: 07 4038 5555 www.skyrail.com.au Contiki Ph: 1300 188 635 www.contiki.com

aussie wanderer

Ph: 0894382070 info@aussiewanderer.com.au www.aussiewanderer.com.au

Crocosaurus Cove 58 Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 08 8981 7522 www.crocosauruscove.com

Margaret River Vintage Wine Tours Ph: 0417 948 933 www.winetoursmargaretriver.com.au

The Peel Region Tourism

Mulgas Adventures

Ph: 08 8952 1545 www.mulgasadventures.com.au

Kakadu Wild Expeditions

Ph: 1300 73 88 70 darwinsales@kimberleywild.com.au www.kakaduwild.com.au

Kakadu 4WD Safaris

75 Mandurah Terrace, Mandurah Ph: 08 9550 3999 www.visitpeel.com.au

Ph: 1300 525 238 info@kadu4wdsafaris.com www.kakadu4wdsafaris.com

Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours Vivonne Bay, Kingscote, SA

Ph: 1300 654 604 adventuretours.com.au

Ph: 08 8202 8678 www.kiadventuretours.com.au

GOIN SOUTH

Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858

PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING

Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au

Drop Bear Adventures Ph: 1800 061 156 www.dropbearadventures.com.au

Adventure Tours australia Sydney Outback Tours Ph: 1300 307 634 www.sydneyoutback.com.au

Real Sydney Tours

Ph: 0402 049426 www.realsydneytours.com.au

The Travel Yoga Company Ph: 0411301820 www.theyogatravelcompany.com

Kimberley Wild Expeditions Ph: 1300 73 88 70 www.kimberleywild.com.au

The Official Home And Away Tour To Summer Bay

ADVENTURE KAYAKING

Ph: 02 9977 7890 www.yahoo7.com.au/homeandaway

Kite Surfing

7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

KITE REPUBLIC

PARADISE JET BOATING

10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 www.kiterepublic.com.au

Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Water Activities

TRANSPORT MIGHTY CAMPERS

GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURF TOURS

Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au

55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 Ph: 03 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au

Integrity Coach Lines PO BOX 1131, Midland, 6936 WA Ph: 08 927 47464 www.integritycoachlines.com.au

Go Camper 90 Parkin Street, Rockingham, WA Ph: 1300 667 363 www.gocamper.com.au

38

CRYSTAL BALLS Virgo

Aries

Taurus

Due to a typing error in his last will and testament, you are bequeathed George Michael’s collection of hard-core gay pornography and butt plugs.

You help break a world record when a coworker is driven insane by an all-time high of 146 people telling him “looks like it’s going to be another hot one” before 10am. You were number 101 on the list and, thankfully, had decided to go for a dump when he started randomly stabbing people with his pen.

You earn an unexpected nomination for Best Director at this year’s Oscars when 90 minutes of footage of the inside of your pocket is accidentally recorded and posted on YouTube by your malfunctioning phone. The film is assumed to be the latest “extraordinary avant garde masterpiece by Terence Malick” (Guardian Online) and your name is assumed to be a pseudonym. Even more surprisingly, the film wins and Malick gives an impassioned speech about how the film was his existential protest against climate change.

Pisces You discover that your real biological mother is Jane - of Rod, Jane and Freddy - from old school British children’s TV show Rainbow.

When Rod and Freddy demand a DNA test to see which one of them is your father, you are shocked when the results reveal that your real dad is Bungle the Bear, who had a steamy affair with Jane for much of the 80s and 90s.

Aquarius I’m afraid there’s no easy way to break this to you, but this month marks the start of you going through the menopause. Given that BBM’s audience research suggests that most of our readers are men aged 18 to 23, this is particularly distressing - and surprising - news for many of you.

Scorpio Sagittarius A routine haircut goes horribly wrong when the barber shows you the back of your head in a mirror to reveal that he’s surgically attached a tiny shrunken head to your neck. Apparently, when you said “just a trim please” he thought you said “can you surgically attach a tiny shrunken head to the back of my neck please”.

Capricorn

It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air, quite literally in your case - you get spunked on by a random tramp in Woolworths.

You are bitten by a magical cobra while being struck by lightning and develop mystical martial arts powers that help you defeat the supernatural forces of evil.

Cancer A pretty normal month takes an interesting turn one morning when you hear Gabriel’s trumpet heralding the coming of the rapture in the form of raining fire and the four horseman of the apocalypse as predicted in the Book of Revelations from the New Testament.

ASK CRYSTAL

Dear Crystal, About a week ago, I realised an old school friend of mine had defriended me on Facebook. Even though we’d not spoken to each other in years, it irked me a little bit. The more I thought about it, the more it began to nag, so after a few days I found out where he worked and started following him. After a couple of weeks, I still didn’t have any idea as to why he might have stopped being friends with me, so I took to hiding in the bush outside his house every night.

That didn’t reveal much either, so then I started rifling through his bins to see if I could find any clues there - but there was nothing. In the end, I broke into his house and rummaged through all his personal belongings but I still didn’t find any reason as to why the hell he’d defriended me.Through sheer frustration, I did a big shit in his living room and left. Can you think of any reason why he might have ditched me on Facebook?

Regards, Dave Dear Dave, Yes. Yes I can.

Yours, Crystal Dear Crystal, About a year ago I fell in love with a wonderful woman called Chlamydia. She’s generous, kind and caring - but I must admit the name bothers me a bit and she refuses to change it. What’s more, she says if she ever has kids she’s going to name them Gonorrhea and Cystitis after her grandparents.

Apart from that, she’s fantastic in every way. Is it wrong and superficial of me to have an issue with the name when she’ so awesome in every other department? Please help.

Sincerely, Tony Dear Tony, Don’t talk to me about having a stupid name. I’ve never forgiven mammy and pappy Balls for calling me Crystal. And how did I respond to the cruel taunts and jibes at school? Well initially it was by sleeping with a lot of classmates (and the odd teacher) in a desperate attempt to make people like me. But after giving crabs to most of the school, I decided to take ownership of the name, to embrace it and become one with it. Hence why I became the world’s first astrology cum agony aunt. So I say hats off to Chlamydia, you stick with the name. And if you were any sort of man you’d change YOUR name to Herpes to show solidarity with her. It’s less embarrassing than Tony.

Libra Donald Trump’s assault on truth continues this month when he claims there’s no such thing as Librans. Apparently they were invented as part of a Chinese conspiracy.

You spend the rest of the month being ignored by Americans who refuse to believe you exist.

JOKES

The Chinese New Year marks the beginning of the Year of the Rooster – also known as the year of the Cock.

I’m sure the timing of Donald Trump’s presidency was purely a coincidence.

Faith, Perth Apart from humans the only other animal that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin…

I had to shag a lot of animals to find that one out. Tony, Surry Hills If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have? The Trump Card. Tim, Kings Cross I had a dodgy curry earlier and said to my wife “My arsehole’s on fire.”

“Ring Sting”, she said.

“How’s that c**t supposed to help?” I asked her. Gary, Bendigo What does Melania see in Donald Trump? “Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!” Carol, Darlinghurst Fell asleep at a party last night and some twat put a teabag in my mouth. I went f**king mental.

No one treats me like a mug. Sarah, Newcastle Why does Donald Trump sleep with a potato in his underwear? Because he wants to wake up one day as America’s First Dictator. Simon, Fremantle I was 8 years old when it happened.

Uncle Gary came into my room, the sun was shining and I was looking forward to another nice day. But young as I was, I knew full well what his intentions were from the start. As young and small as I was I fought as hard as I could, but he was just too big and strong and I was powerless to stop him. The shame, hurt, confusion all ruined my childhood and to this day I still wake up in the night crying about it. But I was luckier than some.

That was the one and only time I had to wear a Man U shirt. Nev, Paddington What’s the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan? If Trump

gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up. Mia, Fitzroy I said, “I’m off out mum” She said, “You’re not going anywhere until you change out of that mini skirt.”

I said, “Why?” She said, “Because I can see your bollocks Ben.” Aaron, Richmond

Leo After more than a decade since you saw the original film, you finally “get” the ending to the Usual Suspects. For years you thought Kevin Spacey’s character just had cramp from sitting down for so long and walked it off at the end.

Gemini Good news and bad news this month. The good news is you are showered with tributes after helping police track down “the cannibal killer” who has been stalking your suburb for several weeks. The bad news is you’re one of the cannibal’s victims, and police track him down when your malfunctioning phone accidentally calls Crimestoppers just as he’s chewing off your leg.

Why does Trump love the poorly educated? Because they only know their ABCs “Anybody But Clinton”. Terry, Cottesloe

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