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HIGHLIGHTS Splendour In The Grass Sideshows With tickets for Splendour in the Grass 2013 selling out in the first hour of going on sale, there’s still a chance to enjoy some great acts at the Splendour sideshows. Throughout July, August and September, you’ll get the chance to see the likes of MSMR, Everything Everything, Babyshambles, James Blake and a whole lot more. These bands will be taking the time to explore the rest of the country and to reassure music fans who missed out on the main Byron Bay festival. Performing in venues throughout Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth, check out the official sideshow details online. Deap Vally
Thu 25th Jul, Sydney, Oxford Art Factory Sat 27th Jul, Melbourne, The Tote
Foals
Sun 22nd Sep, Perth, Metro City Tue 24th Sep, Adelaide, HQ Thu 26th Sep, Melbourne, The Palace Theatre Sun 29th Sep, Sydney, Enmore Theatre Sat 5th Oct, Auckland, NZ, Auckland Town Hall
Babyshambles
Thu 25th Jul, Melbourne, Palace Theatre Sun 28th Jul, Sydney, Enmore Theatre Mon 29th Jul, Adelaide, HQ Wed 31st Jul, Perth, Metro City
James Blake
Thu 25th Jul, Perth, Astor Theatre Fri 2nd Aug, Auckland, Auckland Town Hall Laura Marling Wed 24th Jul, Sydney, St Stephen’s Uniting Church Thu 25th Jul, Adelaide, Flinders Street Baptist Church Fri 26th Jul, Subiaco, Perth, St Joseph’s Church Wed 31st Jul, Melbourne, St Michael’s Uniting Church
MSMR
Fri 26th Jul, Sydney, Metro Theatre Everything Everything Fri 26th Jul, Melbourne, Corner Hotel Sat 27th Jul, Sydney, Metro Theatre
Fidlar
Mon 29th Jul, Melbourne, Corner Hotel Wed 31st Jul, Sydney, Oxford Art Factory Fri 2nd Aug, Adelaide, Spin Off Festival (The Barton Theatre) Sat 3rd Aug, Perth, The Bakery
Daughter
Wed 24th Jul, Sydney, Metro Theatre Palma Violets Mon 29th Jul, Melbourne, Northcote Social Club Tue 30th Jul, Sydney, Oxford Art Factory
Surfer Blood
Wed 24th Jul, Melbourne, Corner Hotel Fri 26th Jul, Sydney, Oxford Art Factory
For more information and upto date ticket info log on to secret-sounds.com.au 4
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SYDNEY WINTER WARMER PUBS IN SYDNEY Hibernation is a tempting thought during the colder months in Australia, but there are plenty of venues to heat up your winter when you do decide to venture outside. Sydney offers a plethora of choice, from warm little bars, to traditional Irish pubs serving some hearty grub. Snuggle up and enjoy a drink in front of a warm log fire, laugh until your cheeks hurt at a comedy club, or snuggle down and watch a film in a boutique movie theatre. Here’s a selection of venues that will keep you warm and cosy during winter in Sydney...
The Roosevelt
‘The sweetness of a lap dancer’s kiss’ is definitely something that will warm you up this winter, unfortunately it’s not what you think. A red-faced customer could still be on the cards, but this time it’s prompted by a whisky and white port cocktail named ‘Mr Sin’. The cocktail served in a glass gun is just the tip of the iceberg. The bar is just table service, so once you arrive, you can put your feet up and enjoy the warm mood lighting while ordering drinks from your seat. ‘The John Wayne’ is one of the winter banquets on offer, this meat feast starts with ribs and is paired with your choice of wine, beer or cocktails. The minimum of eight people per booking gives you and your friends an excuse to venture out of the cold and into The Roosevelt. Prices for the banquet are $95 with wine or beer and $105 with cocktails. 32 Orwell Street, Potts Point, NSW 2011 www.theroosevelt.com.au
El Rocco
One way to escape the perils of the cold weather is to have a good old belly laugh at El Rocco, Australia’s oldest jazz cellar. The intimate surroundings are the perfect place to meet up with friends and laugh out loud in the ‘Happy Endings Comedy Club’, located in the one of the rooms in the club. The award winning comedy club brings professional stand-up comedy to the Kings Cross playground. The venue also hosts live entertainment including jazz, cabaret, singer-songwriters, open mic nights, and emerging artists showcasing their talent. Food is available here, as well as $5 house beer and $6 house wine. The great thing about this place is if you don’t fancy anything on their menu, you can order food from Swasdee Thai next door. Comedy nights are every Saturday night at El Rocco. 22/154 Broughham Street, Potts Point, NSW 2011 www.elrocco.com.au
Govinda’s
A cosy place to relax and escape has got to be Govinda’s, a vegetarian buffet complete with ‘The Movie Room’ upstairs. Enjoy the award-winning cuisine before sinking into the luxurious cushions, enjoying the vast selection of films on offer. Once you’ve enjoyed the movie and feel so relaxed you can’t tear yourself away, try the meditation workshop on the 2nd July. You’ll learn private meditation theory, techniques and discover inner peace, tranquility and wellbeing. You will leave feeling warm, not only in your body, but in your mind and soul too. 112 Darlinghurst Road, Darlinghurst, NSW 2010 www.govindas.com.au
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P.J. O’Brien’s
With their warm blazing fire, Irish charm and endless pints of Guinness, P.J. O’Brien’s is the perfect setting for a chilly winter’s night. Why not utilize the weather and have a taste of Christmas in July? Every Wednesday fill your belly with a delicious roast with all the trimmings including soup, turkey and Christmas pudding, starting from $30 per person for two courses. If a traditional roast doesn’t warm your cockles, an Irish jig on a Friday night will. A traditional Irish soloist entertains punters and gets the place buzzing. This, paired with $5 Rochdale cider will have you waving goodbye to the winter blues. 57 King Street, Sydney www.pjobriens.com.au/sydney
Ivy
Let Ivy light your fire with their very own winter event, Light My Fire Festival on Wednesday 10th July at Palings Kitchen & Bar. Sip on cocktails, Veuve Clicquot Champagne and the ultimate winter warmers, mulled wine and warm cider. Booking online will get you eight food and drink tokens that can be used on Ivy’s sponsors, Veuve Clicquot, during the evening. Inside Palings, you’ll find the Roast With Th’Most, including two courses and a glass of beer or wine for $35. Sample the vintage releases of St. Hallet, Henschke and Philip Shaw in the Winter With Shiraz masterclass at The Bottle Shop on Thursday 18th July, priced at $35. 330 George Street, Sydney www.merivale.com.au/ivy
Jacksons On George
Fire up your July at Jacksons On George with some hot events to help you get over the winter chills. This is a great venue to support your team during the Lions Tour, with 40 screens, 22 different beers on tap and the chance to win a signed 2013 Wallabies jersey. On Sunday 28th July, step into a winter wonderland and get involved with The White Sensation. Wearing all white to celebrate winter, pull yourself out of the cold and dance the night away at this smolderingly hot event. Enjoy Sydney’s sexiest podium dancers, lingerie waitress service and admire the mini-skirt competition, which every girl is welcome to take part in. 176 George Street, Sydney www.jacksonsongeorge.com.au By Lucie Potter
SYDNEY PROMOS Tuesday
Darlo Bar 306 Liverpool Street Happy Hour 5pm-7pm
The Office Hotel Cnr Kent and Erskine Street $10 meals
The Forresters 336 Riley Street Surry Hills $5 steak all day & $10 Jugs 12pm6pm
Scruffy Murphy’s 43-49 Goulburn Street Student backpacker night, $4 drinks til 12am, $15 cocktail jugs til 10pm
Palings Level 1 ivy 330 George Street ‘Roast with Th’most’ Choice of 2 courses with a glass of wine or beer for $35 The Marlborough Hotel 145 King Street Newtown Enjoy drinks and food at the new garden bar
The Spice Cellar Basement Level 58 Elizabeth Street Wine Down Tuesdays Explore Cake Wines Portfolio 7.30pm-9pm
Establishment 252 George Street Salsa lessons at 8pm
Wednesday The World Bar 24 Bayswater Road Kings Cross The Wall Hip-Hop, Electro, Dubstep and Bass Entry is $5
P.J. O’Briens 57 King Street Christmas in July Lunch and dinner 2 courses $30 3 courses $35
Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Road $15 grilled Rump steak 300gm, with your choice of sauce, chips & salad 10am-10pm
Thursday Vasco 421 Cleveland Street Sydney’s first Italian rock bar! Vasco hour 5pm7pm $6 beer & mixed drinks & $14 cocktails Paragon Hotel Cnr Loftus & Alfred Street $19 ribs, live saxaphone and percussion music and $10 cocktails 5pm-8pm
The Soda Factory 16 Wentworth Avenue Surrey Hills Guest acoustic musicians 5pm-2am
Friday Bat & Ball 495 Cleveland Street Nibbles 5pm-7pm All cocktails $8, tap beers $4, house wines & spirits $5 3pm-6pm
Ms. G’s 155 Victoria Street Potts Point $7 cocktails 5pm-7pm
Bungalow 8 3 Lime Street Bungalow Nights $5 Pure Blondes, bubbly & vodka from 5pm-7pm The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $6 schooners of Magners
Saturday
Sunday
Kings Cross Hotel The Wild Rover 244-248 Williams 75 Campbell Street Street Surrey Hills Kings Cross A brand new Irish Rooftop Garden $10 bar with a touch cocktails of New York chic. 5pm-7pm Hidden from street view, be sure to track it down! The Workers 292 Darling Street Balmain Double Barrel Happy Hour 5.30pm-6.30pm
Jacksons On George 176 George Street Happy Hour 5pm-7pm $5 Corona, $5 house spirits and $10 cocktail jugs Lunacy DJs from 9pm
Beresford 354 Bourke Street Surry Hills Courtyard Sunday BBQ $25 per plate 12pm-4pm Bat & Ball 495 Cleveland Street $15 Sunday roast
Four Ate Five 485 Crown Street Surry Hills Charming cafe with excellent food and service!
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The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid
Monday
SYDNEY
BEST BRUNCH IN SYDNEY Cowbell 808
If you hear funky 80s music coming from Bourke Street, you’ve found Cowbell 808. Vinyl records are stacked up by the counter amongst other funky 80s paraphernalia. Everything is made fresh on the premises, and for the perfect hangover cure, we go for the Wagyu Burger with onion rings. Fancy something odd? Ricotta hotcakes with bacon ice cream. Smoky. 616 Bourke Street, Surry Hills www.facebook.com/Cowbell808 Although Oscar Wilde said “Only dull people are brilliant at Breakfast”; we can safely assure you that in Australia, everyone’s brilliant at brunch. Here’s some of our favourite places to have that wonderful meal, that is neither breakfast, nor lunch...
Reuben Hills
The place to find great cafe spots is Surrey Hills. Reuben Hills’ menu is influenced by Central American cuisine which is stodgy enough to fulfil the hungriest traveller. An option you could go for is the “Really f*cking Great Fried Chicken” with chilli in a basket can be served with “Doggs Breakfast” (ice cream sandwich with salted caramel) for dessert. 61 Albion Street, Surry Hills www.reubenhills.com.au
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2042 Cafe and Deli
2042 Cafe and Deli has glowing reviews constantly. This means it’s always busy but its affordable, tasty nature will continue to pull in the crowds. The 19th Century corner store that was beautifully renovated to produce Revolver still features the ornate wraparound balcony. Loved by locals and tucked away from the tourists, it’s focused on brunch and will never disappoint. 403-405 King Street, Sydney www.2042.net.au
The Town Bike Pitstop
The gentrified suburb of Redfern now has less dodgy men on street corners and more hip vibes with original cafes, like The Town Bike Pitstop. This chilled cafe sells bikes hanging from the walls and
has a mechanic round the back to tune up your fixie whilst you sip your latte. The Dutch-themed menu includes sandwiches, pies, pastries and cookies. 156 Abercrombie Street, Sydney www.townbikepitstop.com.au
Coffee, Tea And Me
Similar to The Town Bike Pitstop, Coffee, Tea and Me‘s discrete shop front contains the most awesome vintage seating you’ll ever plant your booty on. Pull up an ironing board or perch on bike seats - their comfort is debateable - to dig into their limited menu. Yes, it’s small, but the coffee and atmosphere are amazing. 93B Redfern Street, Redfern www.coffeeteaandme.com.au
The Wedge Espresso
The Wedge Espresso in Glebe has no coffee amateurs here; they even have coke slushies with infused cold-drip coffee! Great sandwiches and fig and ricotta on toast highlight the quality of their Luxe Bakery bread (Newtown). Get on their heart attack breakfast platters or have a bit of health with their Chai and Date Bircher Muesli. 53-55 Glebe Point Road, Glebe www.wedgeespresso.com Image courtesy of Reuben Hill, Words By Sophie Saint
In The Know: SYDNEY So you think you know the best hangouts in Sydney! Think again. It’s easy to find a great place to hang out in Sydney, but if you want somewhere that offers amazing food, drinks and atmosphere, but with a bit of a twist, where do you go? Whether you want to party in a Laundromat, drink tea that rivals Yorkshire, or spend three weeks stuffing your face with pizza in a different restaurant every night, you can find it all in Sydney; you just have to look hard enough or keep reading. Here are some of Sydney’s best-kept secrets to discover. Darlie Laundromatic
Darlie Laundromatic is a unique bar experience like nothing else in Australia, let alone Sydney! The Darlie Laundromatic & Dry Cleaning sign may be misleading, but inside is a quirky little bar and restaurant everywhere you look has something different. A row of garden taps screwed to the wall greets you on your way in, which you may hang your coat on if you have one; a long table is lit by tea-lights and a washing line, complete with drying tea towels, hangs above it; colourful artwork and lights set the evening mood, and knickknacks and odd bits are scattered around to catch your eye. The courtyard is a blessing when the bar area gets packed. The food and drink is made to match such an atmosphere, including fresh and vibrant cocktails in jars and a variety of hotdogs, burgers and sharing platters. Don’t let the strong character of Darlie Laundromatic intimidate you - step inside and embrace it! 304 Palmer Street, Darlinghurst www.darlielaundromatic.com
Chica Bonita
Get a taste of Mexico in Sydney at Chica Bonita! Translating to “Beautiful Girl”, this little piece of spicy heaven doesn’t take life too seriously. Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry take over the speakers and a bright red neon sign reads ‘TACOS,’ if you weren’t too sure what they served already. Specials include mango and chilli lamb, soft shell crab taco and too long roasted brisket, and of course, this wouldn’t be a Mexican joint without the classic margarita and a shot of tequila. There’s even a Megalagerita, given to you with a bottle of Corona sticking out of a jar of margarita. What could be better to make you feel like you’re on a Mexican holiday? So, don your sombrero, overload on guacamole and warm yourselves up with cocktails, spice and good company with the amigos at Chica Bonita. 7 The Corso, Manly www.chicabonitamanly.tumblr.com
Pizza Festival
That’s right: a festival of pizza. Already popular in Melbourne, this festival is coming to Sydney from 8th to 29th July and taking place in carefully selected pizzerias. From Pizza Mario to Rosso Pomodoro, each venue will get one night to wow you with homemade pizza, following the strict criteria of no more than five toppings on a 13 inch base with the perfect amount of yeast, all for just $20 with a drink. To celebrate this pizza extravaganza, there is a closing event held in Salt Meats Cheese which will see all the pizza chefs gather together for a finale cook-off, just to feed you. Hand over just $25 and eat as much pizza as you like. Hungry yet? Check out the Pizza Festival website for all the restaurants and dates. Throughout Sydney www.pizzafestival.com.au/sydney
Mary’s
There’s definitely something about Mary’s. It lives inside an old STI clinic, uses Jack Daniel’s bottles as lightshades and, if the word on the street is to be believed, it serves the best burger in the whole of Sydney. All this and it still manages to serve a great selection of craft beers and cocktails homemade by the ace bartender Kenny Graham. With dark wooden furnishings on both floors and the decoration including the Slayer logo, a mural by Luschia Porter and the wine list, it’s safe to say that this bar has a definite don’t-give-a-shit attitude. The aforementioned burger is a soft piece of meat, with cheese melted down to a sticky-sauce consistency. But the beast of the joint is the Thunderbird, which involves deep-frying three whole chickens, stuffed with cheeseburgers and served with mash and gravy. We’ve got meat sweats just thinking about it. 6 Mary Street, Newtown
The Tea Parlour
It’s no secret that Australia provides great coffee, while the tea is slightly lacking, the Tea Parlour in Redfern is a definite step in the right direction, offering an experience that rivals the strong English tea back home and the high tea only available in boutique hotels. The setting is quaint and quirky, with flower decorations, chandeliers and fine china that your Nan would approve of. If you have a sweet tooth, you’re in for a treat: fluffy scones served with cream and jam are simply a starter, followed by delightful slices of lemon tart, pecan pie, angel cakes, profiteroles and, finally, those all-important tea-time staple – cucumber sandwiches. This wouldn’t be tea-time without a great selection of teas - from fruity apple berry to savoury Earl Grey, The Tea Parlour has them all. Indulge in all this for just $20 per person. 569 Elizabeth Street, Redfern
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SYDNEY
My Sunday in Sydney... Who doesn’t love the weekend? As a live-in au pair based 10 minutes from Sydney’s CBD, I relish the opportunity at the weekend to branch out, child free, and explore the city I call home for my year on a working-holiday in this exciting and diverse country. While Saturday’s are usually spent recovering from a crazy Friday night, Sunday - or Sunday Funday as my friends and I have renamed it - is my favourite day of the week. My perfect Sunday? Let me tell you how it goes... They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day and I love to make a meal out of it at my favourite haunt for breakfast/brunch, Flat White. Just a 10 minute walk from my house in Woollahra, it is full to the brim at the weekends with friends and family catching up, and while you may have to wait for a seat, or share a bench with others, nothing detracts from the warm hospitality you receive here. First things first - and usually before I’ve sat down - my skim latte has been ordered and my mouth is foaming at the thought of my favourite dish, Egg Zatar - free range poached eggs, feta, spinach, pine nuts and zatar. It gets my day off to the best start as I put the world to rights with a friend, or read and watch the world go by.
Name: Eleanor Davies Age: 25 From: Essex, England About me: I’m in Oz for a year pretty much doing exactly what the visa says... working and holidaying! The best thing I’ve found out whilst in Australia: Who knew the coffee out here would be so good?! Don’t know how I’ll cope when I return to England!
Next, it’s straight over to Coogee to start the famous Coogee to Bondi coastal walk. You can start in Bondi too and walk the other way but I love creeping up on the 1km stretch of sand at Bondi. The weather is (usually) on your side and even in winter, you can be lucky and pick a dry day with little wind. The walk isn’t too strenuous despite being 6km and uphill in parts, and the views are definitely worth it. It will take you past Clovelley, Gordon’s Bay, Tamarama and Bronte beaches before hitting the famous sands of Bondi. If you keep your eyes peeled throughout the walk, you may spot dolphins, as I have before, or even whales that migrate along the east coast from May. After a casual 2 hours stroll, a cup of tea is well earned and for this there is only one place I head too; Gertrude and Alice. Down Hall Street, just off Cambell Parade, it’s a sanctuary amongst the many, often pretentious coffee shops in Bondi. Piled wall to ceiling with books of every description, it is the best place to have even just 10 minutes of ‘me’ time with a book and a nice cuppa. After warming up and refuelling, it is off to the Bondi Market at the north end of the beach on the grounds of Bondi Beach public school. From jewellery to paintings, clothes and books, the market has it all and I love searching for trinkets to take home and remind me of the great time I had while I was in Australia. As well as gifts for my loved ones back home! As the day pushes on and breakfast becomes a distant memory, thoughts soon turn to an early dinner and while in Bondi there can be no other choice but Bondi Pizza - another landmark of my favourite town in Sydney. They push the boundaries of pizza – lamb with Caesar dressing, anyone? Thin crust proper pizzas, served with a glass of white wine and I’m in Italian/Bondi heaven. From the glorious beach-front, to the city: another view that takes my breath away every time – the Sydney Opera House. I go to see it at least every other week to remind myself a) of where I am in the world and b) how lucky I am to be here. It is such an iconic symbol of Australia and you cannot visit Sydney and not see it. There’s not just the Opera House to visit while you are in Circular Quay though. Aside the many street performers, there’s also the Sydney Harbour Bridge, another iconic Sydney attraction. The best view of this and the Opera House is from the Botanical Gardens. A wander around the cobbled streets of the oldest part of Sydney, the neighbouring Rocks is also worth your time. The perfect Sunday evening is then topped off listening to live music at my local The Golden Sheaf Hotel in Double Bay with friends and a bottle of wine. Depending on what kind of evening you fancy, you can relax on the roof terrace with a cocktail for a quiet night or join in with the fun in the back bar, where the best bands in the Eastern Suburbs take to the stage before a DJ keeps the party going into the early hours. It is then a short stumble home to my house for a few hours to recuperate before the week starts again, and the countdown to another Sunday Funday begins.
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MELBOURNE
WINTER WARMER PUBS IN MELBOURNE When it’s cold outside, the last thing you want to do is have to sit outside having BBQs freezing off your chachas, so here we’ve found the best places to bunker up in during the winter months. From the budget-conscious to the extravagant, or simply to forget about the cold with an evening laughing your wooly socks off and enjoying good conversation over a beer or two, here’s our selection of the best places to hangout during winter and chow down on the great British staple of the roast dinner… Melbourne Public
Stay out of the cold and be entertained at Melbourne Public. Every Wednesday from 3rd July to 7th August (except 17th July due to State of Origin final), ‘A Very Public Punch Line’ presents you with some of the biggest comedians in Australia to forget about your miserable work day and enjoy a few side-splitting moments. The stellar line-up includes Frank Woodley, Josh Thomas, Dave Hughes, Jimeoin, Pete Helliar, Mick Molloy, Lehmo and Russell Gilbert. 11 Dukes Walk, South Wharf www.melbournepublic.com.au
The Penny Black
If you want a warm roast dinner with some live music, try Penny Black. On a Sunday, they offer their roast of the day for $12 served with all the trimmings.
You can sit in the heated beer garden or cosy up by one of their open fires. It’s the perfect place to while away a lazy Sunday afternoon with your mates and a few drinks. 420 Sydney Road, Brunswick www.thepennyblack.com.au
Bridie O’Reilly’s
Bridie O’Reilly’s serve a traditional roast dinner all day on a Sunday, from lunchtime until 9pm, and good winter stodge such as steak and Guinness pie, bangers and mash, and even fish and chips. Bridie O’Reilly’s also have a wide range of beers, other traditional Irish meals (we recommend the Irish Breakfast) and live music - all served up in a cosy atmosphere to keep you snug! With two venues across town, you can’t go wrong. 462 Chapel Street, South Yarra 29 Sydney Road, Brunswick www.chapelst.bridieoreillys.com.au
Middle Park Hotel
Looking to stay inside and well-fed, during the rubbish weather? The Middle Park Hotel’s belly-warming roast is a real treat. If you’ve become a bit tired of the standard roast dinner and want to try something a bit more adventurous, then come here. Their roast is available on Saturdays and Sundays and features rare breeds, including: Charolais & Black Angus beef, Large Black & Tamworth pork, Dorset Downs Salt Marsh lamb, Macleay Valley rabbit and Thirlmere ducks. Sound good? You can get a roast here with pudding for $55, or include a boutique beer or local wine for an extra $15. This one really is worth checking out when you’re cold and looking for a top-notch meal with a difference. 102 Canterbury Road, Middle Park, Melbourne www.middleparkhotel.com.au
The Roast Kitchen
If you’re a bit nippy and hungry, follow your nose and end up in the aptly named, The Roast Kitchen. The best roast in Melbourne... or it’s free! Apparently. This little gem in Kew is a winner when it comes to a superb winter menu. For $19.50 (or $27 if you want to go large), it’s great value too. Beef, pork, lamb, chicken; this place has a range of meats for you to choose from all served with steamed vegetables, roast potatoes, and their very own red wine gravy. There’s also a vegetarian option and you can eat in or take away. And if that wasn’t enough, it has a BYO policy. So, when are you going? 259 High Street, Kew, Victoria www.theroastkitchen.street-directory.com.au By Charlotte Mellor
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In The Know: MELBOURNE It’s easy to get stuck in a rut when you’re in a new city for the first time, and we’re all guilty of habit forming ritual hang outs, however you came to Australia to explore right? So go ahead and have a change! Get off the main roads and head to somewhere different.
sized and great value (from $10 for one and $6 for half), filled with sausage, zucchini, porchetta or eggplant parmigiana. This small café also serves soup, salad and frittata, as well as traditionally Italian blended coffee. Best of all, not only can you find all this at their spot in Equitable Place, but also from their van at any of the local festivals. 31 Equitable Place, Melbourne www.fugazza.com.au
Melbourne is teaming with excellent cafes, restaurants and bars, so why not delve a little deeper and discover what’s off the beaten track in this infinitely cool metropolis. Here’s some of our favourite “lesser known” hang outs...
Howler
Yong Green Food
Being meat-lovers, we don’t often rave about veggie restaurants, but Yong Green Food is just too good to keep quiet. Don’t be put off that there’s no meat; there’s plenty of variety with all the right flavours. Seon Mi and Seon Joo Lee are sisters from South Korea who have brought their take on vegetarian food to Melbourne, influenced by cuisine from all over the world. While the price may be a bit much for tofu and beansprouts, it’s certainly an experience if you think that’s all that vegetarian food has to offer. Raw food includes the famous rawsagne, nachos, the nutty burger, and even desserts such as carrot cake and pecan pie. The selection of Asian teas are also extremely popular with regulars. The cooked food will certainly make sure you’re full before you leave. With chickpea korma, Dragon Bowl and Korean BBQ, you’ll forget all about chicken schnitzel and calamari here. 421 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy www.facebook.com/pages/Yong-Green-Food
Melbourne’s newest hotspot for the arts and live entertainment comes in the form of Howler. Two venue geniuses, Brendan Brogan and Luke Delaney - behind Workshop, Black Cat and E Fifty Five, have transformed this old warehouse into one of the coolest places in town. What was once a wool factory has been kitted out with booths, a large dance floor, a DJ deck and a fully-functioning, fully-stocked bar, and can be spotted by the large zebra painted on the front wall. Metal box-frames hang from the ceiling and similar ones light up the night sky in the huge beer garden, perfect for when inside gets a bit hot and sweaty. Drinks include Hitachino Nest and Pilsner beer on tap, bottled Nut Brown and Rogue Arms and all the usual spirits to keep you going all night. There’s no surprise that this unique and purpose-built hub has everyone in Melbourne abuzz. 16 Michael Street, Brunswick www.h-w-l-r.com
Brother Burger
It shouldn’t surprise you that this joint specialises in burgers - and good burgers at that, including The Plain with wagyu beef, lettuce and sauce to The Lot, full to the brim with beef, bacon, egg, cheese, pineapple, lettuce, onion jam and sauce. Brother Burger has something for every beef-craving appetite. If wagyu’s not for you, there are different meat burgers in the way of chicken, pork and lamb, and also veggie options such as Mr. Bean and Magic Mushroom. They pride themselves on their sauces and relishes being homemade and the ingredients, including the beef, being locally sourced. If for some reason you don’t want a burger at Brother Burger (you awkward sod), you can select from slow-roasted lamb, BBQ chicken salad, fish & chips and many more. Wash it all down with a craft beer on tap. 413 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy www.brotherburger.com.au
Hooked
After eating at Hooked you really will be...well, hooked! This is fish and chips like no other, with offerings of a range of succulent fish and chunky chips, as well as options for the health conscious. Never mind boring old cod, at Hooked you can choose from tempura, calamari, king prawns, barramundi, tuna, scallops and oysters. There are also fish-filled tacos, spicy pumpkin and coconut soup and a veggie eggplant burger. Rather than just a side of chips, you can swap for rice and Asian greens or salad. If that wasn’t enough choice, everything on the menu can be made gluten free! Even if you’re in a rush, you can ring up, place your order and they’ll have it ready for you to collect. You really don’t have a reason to not pay a visit to Hooked, as they have shops in Windsor and Fitzroy. 172 Chapel Street, Windsor 384 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy www.hooked.net.au
Fugazza
Pop into Fugazza, Melbourne’s best and most authentic Italian sandwich shop, and try focaccia as it’s meant to be. Since the first Italian migrants moved to Australia a century ago, the recipes and originality of focaccia have suffered such change and abuse that its forefathers would no longer recognise it. Fugazza owner Simon Michelangeli aims to change that. Light and toasty, rather than the doorstop wedges that Melburnians have been accustomed to, the focaccia is baked with sourdough, fresh basil, tomato and cheese, modestly-
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MELBOURNE
BEST BRUNCH IN MELBOURNE
Images courtesy of Takako Drew & Kristoffer Paulsen, Words by Sophie Saint
Proud Mary
There are legendary huge cafes that dominate the coffee and cafe scene in the city. Proud Mary will never disappoint and people willingly wait outside before it even opens. Proud Mary’s all day breakfast allows you to crunch down on roasted mushrooms with brioche and whipped goats cheese (drool), or hold on for the lunch menu for their Crisp Pork Belly sandwich. Did we mention that these two places have award winning coffee? 81 Whitehall Street, Footscray www.proudmarycoffee.com.au
Melbourne’s café culture is phenomenal: Small Victories interior designs that win awards, coffee Despite not being housed in epic warehouses, smaller joints do just as good a job as the cafe that’ll blow your mind, fancy unique giants: Small Victories, in the leafy inner-city suburb ingredients scattering your plate, and of Carlton North, presents impeccable tastes and an incredible reputation in only one year of being great versions of traditional brunch open. Baked eggs with tasty accompaniments dishes. Venture into the CBD and and poached pears with housemade elderflower yoghurt are sure to tempt you into poking your head you’ll be inundated with cafe choices; around the door. Manchester Press and The Hardware 617 Rawthorne Street, Carlton North www.smallvictoriesrestaurant.com.au Societe are trustworthy and tasty to boot. Or hit up 1000 £ Bend for a Café Lua nearby Carlton, spy a sunny corner with happy unique art warehouse-setting tucked in In colourful outdoor seating with vintage mismatched a laneway. Here’s our selection of the furniture, and you’ve found Cafe Lua. A local favourite, this place keeps to a perfectly trusty menu best brunches on offer…
and churns out amazing spicy ‘Huevos Rancheros’’ feta scrambled eggs, and generous portions of smashed avocado with camomile salt on crunchy wholemeal bread. Corner of Elgin & Drummond Streets, Carlton www.cafelua.com
Juddy Roller
Melbourne - being Melbourne - means art and cafes go side by side. Graffiti alleyways are where you’ll find hidden gems of eateries, such as Juddy Roller in the arty suburb of Fitzroy. Set in a li’l laneway, the garage-turned-cafe is complete with graffiti, art installations, milk crate seating and art work that is forever rotating to appreciate local artists. Herbivore Vs Carnivore menu options compliment quality coffee. A space to chill out with the hipsters and get nourished. 222a-226 Johnston Street, Fitzroy www.facebook.com/JuddyRoller
My Sunday In Melbourne Name: Lillie Almond Age: 22 From: London, England About me: I’m living my adventure! The best thing I’ve found out whilst in Australia: It’s pretty limitless, and the people are incredible.
Ring, ring - SNOOZE. Ring, ring - OFF. It’s Sunday, your alarm clock’s day off, and lie-in day for busy workers, lazy part-timers and all chilled weekend kids alike. Yes? No. Not if you’re a Melbournite, at least. Whether freshly just in from the messy shenanigans of Saturday, or recovering from the aftermath in which you ought to picking up bottles from the living room floor, it is time to go to Revolver. What? Go to the messiest club in Melbourne at 9am on Sunday? Miss brunch and your morning work-out to go and get giddy in that notorious place on Chapel Street? It is here we present a well-known golden nugget of info: the best renowned resident and new-found DJs play at these hours on Sunday morning. It becomes difficult to convey much more about the Sunday sessions that this venue puts out because it can truly be so multi-faceted. Whatever you’re after, be it a chilled yet surreal Sunday morning, a cheeky ploy to avoid hangover recovery, or anything inbetween, Revolver is the place.
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MELBOURNE PROMOS Lucy Coq Cnr Chapel Street and High Street Windsor Board games downstairs and the darkside of resident DJs upstairs
The Alchemist 361 Brunswick Street Fitzroy Enjoy dinner and drinks from 5pm-11pm
Robert Burns Hotel 376 Smith Street Collingwood The place to go for traditional Spanish food!
Tuesday St Kilda Beach House 109 Barkly Street St Kilda Pool Competition
Strike Bowling Level 3 Melbourne Central/211 La Trobe Street $8 bowling, $8 laser tag and $8 Jäger from 8pm
29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street St Kilda Foosball tournament All levels welcome
Wednesday Turf Bar 131 Queen Street ‘Hit The Turf It’s Bedlam’ $6 pints, vodka and wine, $5 pizzas, $10 burgers, $10 fish and chips, free pool and darts from 7pm
Ding Dong Level 1 18 Market Lane Chinatown ‘Mo Soul’ is Melbourne’s newest soul night
Retreat Hotel 280 Sydney Road Brunswick Free live music and great grub!
Of course the Sunday session in the aforementioned club needn’t hinder your hopes of a civilized Sunday. You could always miss the big DJ sets and head down later - they Revolve until Monday morning. So why not pop to Victoria or South Melbourne market? South Melbourne has the art, SO:ME (South Melbourne Art Space) which is pretty cool. It’s an initiative in which new and niche designers are given the chance to display their work in a designated creative space. It’s awesome because the stuff isn’t the same as what you’d find in ordinary retail - or in Victoria Market, so definitely worth a look, even if it is a tad pricey. For a good variety of cheap groceries and whatnot though, head to Victoria Market. It gives you the opportunity to cruise through the city afterwards, and head down to Federation Square. Dress up warm, and check out their website (www.fedsquare. com) before heading in - it’ll give you a chance to see what you’ll be looking out for. From cool and weird art stuff (it’s right next to the National Gallery of Victoria), to live music performances (the Jazz festival recently kicked off there), there is pretty much always a buzz of something going on up there. It’s fantastically linked, right opposite the tram and train station, so no poor excuses about not being able to get there. If and when all that wandering around and being cultured starts to really niggle away at your stamina, why not stop for coffee and/or snack just a short walk away? So, you could head to any of the ordinary pub/ lunchy cafés that Melbourne is known
Thursday The Kodiak Club 272 Brunswick Street Fitzroy Melbourne’s only Bourbon bar. Enjoy regional American bar food, whiskeys, boutique beers and classic cocktails from 5pm
Brunswick Mess Hall 400 Sydney Road Brunswick Experience the taste of Asia
The Penny Black 420 Sydney Road Brunswick $12 burgers
Friday
Saturday
Bimbo Deluxe 376 Brunswick Street Fitzroy ‘Mashtag’ music that you know but not as you know it
The Local Taphouse 184 Carlisle Street St Kilda Live music 9pm Free entry
The Dan O’Connell Hotel 225 Canning Street Carlton $6 pints of Carlton and Brunswick Bitter, basic spirits and house wines
The Everleigh Upstairs 150-156 Gertrude Street Fitzroy An intimate, seated only cocktail bar open 5.30pm-1am
for - we need not even direct you, with an inevitable cool little place hidden in every single alley - or… go for frozen yoghurt! In fear of sounding like a walking, talking health advert, this really is awesome and these places are everywhere. Check out the one underneath Melbourne Central Station, (La Trobe Street), or the one on Bourke Street, or the one on Lonsdale Street or the… you get the picture. They are all within a 10 - 15 minute walking distance, or a brief tram ride away. I highly recommend walking, unless you like Sunday traffic and having to fight for fresh air and personal space. What’s cool about this cold yoghurt stuff (besides the frozenness of it), is the picking of the flavours, the novelty ridiculous combinations, and the freestyling it experimentation. Oh, yeah, and it’s healthy. Healthy? “That’s not what my Sunday is supposed to be about!” I hear you scream. Fear not: besides covering your Fro-Yo in every chocolate topping under the sun, you can always hunt down a boozy liquid lunch at the Espy (The Esplanade Hotel, St Kilda) if you fancy a bit of live music. The place really goes off in the evening, so you may find yourself embracing the chilled seaside view as the sun sets, only to get tipsier than expected as the evening progresses. A great Sunday session venue, The Espy is iconic to all Melbournites, and once again, if you check out their life plans in advance online, you might be pleasantly surprised about what the night has in store. Personally, I’m a bit scared of wasting all that potential Sunday browsing time in one venue though. Yes, The Espy has food, drink, music and views - but no it doesn’t have a race track. Sorry what? Yeah I said it - race track.
The Quiet Man Irish Pub 271 Racecourse Road Flemington $7 pints of featured ‘Beer of the Month’ all day and night
Lily Blacks 12 Meyers Place Enjoy the finest cocktails Melbourne has to offer! 6pm-3am
Sunday The Precinct Hotel 60 Swan Street Richmond Sunday sessions from 12 noon
Melbourne Public 11 Dukes Walk South Wharf Sunday sessions Tim Rizzoli acoustic set from 2pm
Lucy Coq Cnr Chapel Street and High Street Windsor BBQ and Blues music on rooftop from 4pm Temperance Hotel 426 Chapel Street South Yarra Tunes and Tapas Sunday sessions from 6pm
It just so happens that just round the corner of St Kilda resides the suburb of South Melbourne. And in South Melbourne, there’s a cheeky little go-kart centre called AusCarts. The reason I recommend this one on a Sunday is their unmissable 1-dollar-a lap Sunday special. This is not just a boy-racer fun day out; proven by the relentless training that the staff have clearly undergone, in telling chicks to “Tuck their hair in.” They mean it, ‘cause they don’t want you to die and stuff. The thing is, once you’ve been, you face the problem of wanting to get really, really good at car racing - it seriously is addictive. Perhaps save that liquid lunch for afterwards, and work up an appetite, as you dress up cosily and pretend you’re Lewis Hamilton for an hour. Sorry, did that seem uncultured? Would you prefer to cruise along the seaside in the chilly brisk air, and maybe have a sophisticated lunch or dinner? Fear not. Drop your silly car-crazy mates off at the race track, and stay nearby on Clarendon Street, also in South Melbourne. Whether you eat at the Deli in the market (get there before 4pm, closing time!), or head to Max Brenner’s chocolate bar for something naughty and decadent, the street is littered with Sunday food galore. Pizza, salads, fried junk or pub food, you’ll find your fill as your mates get dizzy and sick on the oversized Scalextric track. Less broom broom, more chomp chomp. Of course you should mix it up. Wake up and car race, head to the market, go for coffee then fill your face - just be prepared to stumble into lots of exciting things on the way that will definitely distract you from your agenda. There. Now aren’t you glad you refrained from hitting the snooze button?
The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid
Monday
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BRISBANE
WINTER WARMER PUBS IN BRISBANE Despite the regularly warm climate and alfresco living, Brisbane pubs can still accommodate to your needs during the cooler months. With winter menus to give you a taste of home, you may be tempted to avoid the outdoors and stay in the comfort and relaxation of these welcoming spots. Mick O’Malley’s
Transport yourself to the Emerald Isle at this classic Irish pub. Nothing can beat bangers and mash, Irish stew or steak and Guinness pie, and a whiskey short or a pint of the black stuff, within a warm setting. There are regular open mic nights and showcases of local talent to help you while away the hours. 171-209 Queen Street, Brisbane www.mickomalleys.com.au
Sixes And Sevens
While this gorgeous gastro pub may have alfresco drinking and dining perfected, with its yard, complete with beer bar and Astroturf lawn, it’s only once you step inside Sixes And Sevens that you fully appreciate its character. In a nod to the public houses of last century, the sandstock, working fireplace has been carefully and respectfully preserved, increasing the warm and welcoming atmosphere and making it the perfect escape from the outdoors. The pub is complemented with beautifully grilled meats, thick-cut chips, bar snacks and a wide range of beers and cider to dance whimsically upon your palate. 67 James Street, Fortitude Valley www.sixes.com.au
The Courthouse Restaurant
If you’re looking for restaurant quality with a pub welcome, look no further than The Courthouse Restaurant. Enjoy Winter Wednesdays from now through to August, with a traditional Beef Wellington next to the warmth of a crackling fire, for $40 per person. You can also choose from chicken, veal, lamb and seafood dishes. Sip on a glass of red wine and escape the breezy evenings whilst you enjoy the views of Moreton Bay and the sound of a live pianist, in the comfort of the restaurant. 1 Paxton Street, Cleveland www.courthouserestaurant.com.au
St Bernard’s Hotel
Celebrate a July Christmas at the St Bernard’s Hotel on Tamborine Mountain. Held every Saturday in July, the hotel - famous for its love of the St Bernard, lights, the open fires, and serving up eggnog upon your arrival, you can even enjoy the traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings. You won’t have any room left once you’ve demolished this three-course meal, which presents the choice of cured gravlax, pate, stuffed mushrooms, turkey tenderloin, duck and salmon, as well as a trio of desserts! For just $65 each, you might be tempted to come back the following Saturday! 101 Alpine Terrace, Mt Tamborine www.stbernardshotel.com.au
The Norman Hotel
Proudly declaring itself as Brisbane’s worst vegetarian restaurant, carnivores flock to The Norman Hotel when they want their meat cravings met. What could be better when it’s a tad nippier that the usual tropical highs, than sitting in an inviting hotel that wants to feed you a banquet of ribs, steak, burgers and chicken fit for a king? They love meat so much, that they’ll even show you how to perfectly cook your own through the Master Steak Cooking Class. Of course, there is the odd vegetarian dish, but who would choose a salad over a burger anyway? 102 Ipswich Road, Woolloongabba www.normanhotel.com.au
Pig N’ Whistle
With their classic British menu, the Pig N’Whistle pubs are a great spot to hunker down in during the cooler months. Serving up classic British dishes, such as sausage and mash, fish and chips with mushy peas, and lamb shank, you certainly won’t get homesick at the Pig N’ Whistle pubs. Oh and just to make things even better, they show live sport too! With three pubs across Brisbane, there’s sure to be one near you. Pig N’ Whistle Riverside, Riverside Centre, 123 Eagle Street, Brisbane Pig N’ Whistle Indooroopilly, Indooroopilly Shopping Centre Cnr Musgrave & Station Rds, Indooroopilly, Brisbane Pig N’ Whistle Queen Street, Bottom of Queen Street Mall, Queen Street, Brisbane www.pignwhistle.com.au
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BEST BRUNCH IN BRISBANE The caffeine drenched, egg poached, newspaper reading Commune A little secret that lies just outside Brisbane is Commune. Its outstanding menu brunch times is now a bit of a to do in this fine city, as will entice you to chow it all, but share to care. Get a group together and try Brisbane has come leaps and bounds in cafe culture in the everything, then fight to the bitter end to finish your favourite dish. There’s never a breakfast or coffee complaint so it’s definitely worth the drive. last five years. But sometimes, the special spots are well-kept 1844 Gold Coast Highway, Burleigh Heads secrets by the locals. Fear not. When you’ve missed breakfast and lunch is too far out of reach, BBM is here to give you the lowdown of the best brunch spots when you’re in those hard times of famine. Hoo Ha Bar
Hoo Ha Bar isn’t a loose liquor bar, which the name suggests. Instead it’s a homely, unpretentious cafe (By day. Yes, by night it’s a bar but let’s focus on the food). With Supreme Roasters coffee, the affordable menu hits the spot with bagel specials which include egg, bacon, mayo, raisins, pine nuts, dill and rocket. There’s no more room in that bagel apart from the deliciousness! Wash it down with salted caramel milkshakes and applaud the great service. Tribune Street, South Brisbane www.facebook.com/hooha.bar
Willow And Spoon
Another great relaxed breakfast bar is Willow and Spoon. All you want is somewhere scrummy to rest your weary bones and get some good eggs. Well, this understated and cute joint will provide just that, for example, “The Stranger” - Poached eggs, brioche, pan-fried halloumi, pumpkin, vierge, spinach & green olive cheeks. Shop 2, 28 Samford Road, Alderley www.willowandspoon.com.au
Anouk
Paddington is over-run by breakfast cafes but Anouk stands out, and it gets incredibly busy. Anyone for Breakfast Bubble and Squeak with bacon bits, caramelised onion, spinach and chilli oil? Or Vine wrapped stuffed sardines with cherry tomato and preserved lemon confit, baguette and lemon? It’s enough to make you name your firstborn child ‘Anouk’. 212 Given Terrace, Brisbane www.anoukcafe.com
Ponycat
Ponycat’s funky graffiti and wooden chairs hanging from the ceiling is the place for caffeine addicts. They supply ‘Bucket Coffee’: guaranteed to keep you awake for a looong time. Their food won’t let you down either. 2 of 693 Brunswick Street, New Farm www.facebook.com/theponycatnewfarm
Top 5 Travel Apps...
Some of them may seem obvious for your average smartphone user, but here are the apps that will keep you sane whilst you globetrot! Google Maps
Detailed, accurate, easy to use maps to get you from A to B quickly and efficiently. Available on iTunes or Google Play
FlightTrack
The app that allows you to keep an eye on thousands on flights. Available on iTunes
Solar
Skype On Your Phone
Quite a pretty app, Solar allows you to track the weather, wherever you are, throughout the day and night, with hourly tracking, you’ll never get caught short! Available on iTunes
The easiest way to connect with friends and family when you’re abroad. You’ll never get too homesick with this app, and you don’t need to use a laptop! Available on iTunes and Google Play
XE Currency Convertor
Designed to be creative and fun, this free app allows users to learn French, German, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and English at the touch of a button. Available via Google Play
This free app is easy to use, designed well and completely accurate. And always very, very useful. Available on iTunes
JetLag Genie
JetLag Genie is the app that helps you to alter your sleep patterns before you begin your trip in order to prepare for the change in times zones. Available on iTunes
Duolingo – Learn Languages
Viber
Speak freely with anyone worldwide using Viber for free. Contacts from your phone are automatically added making communication simple and easy. Available on iTunes
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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA
Discover Jacob’s Creek... Producing one of the world’s most famous wine brands, Jacob’s Creek, is a wine that is synonymous with Australia’s booming wine industry. Back in 1847, Bavarian immigrant, Johann Gramp missed the wine he used to drink in his homeland, and henceforth, decided to start growing grapes on the banks of Jacob’s Creek in the Barossa Valley, South Australia. Little did he know that they would flourish and produce one of the world’s premier wines that still hold strong 160 years later. Gramp’s vineyard became the first commercial vineyard along Jacob’s Creek and, to this day, attracts visitors from all over the world. If you’re looking for the perfect weekend away, then why not head to the Barossa Valley region, situated in South Australia. With a plethora of vineyards to visit, this will no doubt be a trip to remember... or not, depending on how much wine you “taste”. Situated just 35 miles away from Adelaide, Barossa Valley is the main wineproducing region in Australia making up around 1/5 of total wine production in Australia. The Barossa region is vast, with a total of 13,256 hectares of vineyard area planted across the area. You will mostly find the majority of plantings to be of the Shiraz variety, but here you will also find other varieties such as Grenache, Cabernet Sauvignon, Mataro, Riesling and Semillon. With 775 grape-growers in the region, there’s so much choice you’ll need to do your
Hunter Valley
Experience the most exquisite and sophisticated wines in the Hunter Valley, New South Wales... Grown and made with tradition in mind, at over 180 years old, this wine region is arguably the oldest that Australia has to offer, yet still provides outstanding wine with the freshest of ingredients. Although the Hunter Valley produces less than 2% of the country’s wine, they are made by some of the most respected winemaking families in the industry who hold consistently high standards, and will leave you struggling to find similar anywhere else in the world. With the Hunter Valley, it’s about quality, not quantity. This belief has resulted in the Semillon. At its best, matured around eight to ten years, this unique dry white wine develops a taste of vanilla and honey, rich in depth. Unlike any other white wines and unique to the climate of the region, it is the Semillon that initially put the Hunter Valley on the map and makes the area so valued, but other prized varieties include the Hunter Valley Shiraz, Chardonnay and Verdelho. The Hunter Valley is home to the Hunter River, the cities of Newcastle and Lake Macquarie, and one of the largest horsebreeding areas in the world. Therefore, it’s unsurprising that 2.5 million tourists visit this region of New South Wales every year. The reputation that it has earned for itself makes it a must-visit area among winelovers, and at just a two-hour drive north from Sydney, the location makes for a great weekend away too.
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research before setting off. On the way to Jacob’s Creek, it is an idea to stop off at the town of Tanunda where you will find the main visitor’s centre. Tanunda also boasts a few wineries itself, including Peter Lehmann Wines, Langmeil, Richmond Grove, Lambert Estate and Chateau Tanunda. To reach Jacobs Creek, travel south from Tanunda, follow the Barossa Valley Way out of Tanunda and the Jacob’s Creek Visitor Centre will be on your right before you get to Rowland Flat, where you will find this worldfamous winery. At Jacob’s Creek Winery there are plenty of activities to indulge in, from a standard vineyard tour - costing just $12.50, to structured tastings for groups of 10 or more, costing just $7.50 per person you can learn the basics of tasting one of God’s finest inventions. If you’re looking to splurge and leave the Barossa region a wine expert, then the vineyard also offer the Jacob’s Creek Master Class and two course lunch. Taking groups between four to six people, here you will taste their best wines, accompanied by a tasting platter of savoury items. You will also cover the essentials of matching food to wines. This particular activity will cost you $85 per person. The Jacob’s Creek Vineyard is open every day from 10am-5pm, so what are you waiting for! Go and source your wine with some education to perfectly accompany all those yummy winter meals.
You can discover your favourite wine with cellar door tasting, and then see how it’s made with winery tours, available at every corner of the valley. Visit Tulloch and learn how the family gained the 43-acre property as the settlement of a debt all the way back in 1895; look out at the picturesque setting that surrounds Bimbadgen, indigenously meaning “a place of good view;” and watch the rolling hills and mountains of Mount Royal and Brokenback Range from Travertine. You can even learn how to use wine in your cooking, with one of the many wine and cooking schools in the area. Wherever you choose, you won’t be without the history, quality and passion of the winemaking industry. If you find you’ve had a bit too much of the bottledgrape stuff, the Hunter Valley has more to offer than just getting you drunk. Stroll around the 25 acres of spectacular display that make up the Hunter Valley Gardens in Pokolbin, or embark on the bicycle wine trail with Grapemobile. Take in the full Hunter Valley view with a balloon ride, available from four different companies, or, if you’re really feeling brave, fall 14,000ft towards the famous vineyards with Skydive The Hunter Valley! (Visit www. skydivethehuntervalley.com.au to book) From day to night, spring to winter, wherever you go in the Hunter Valley, you will always feel the pull of true winemaking.
By Charlotte Mellor
Australia’s 5 Wonders Of The Wineries Ahh, wine. The juice to the party animal. The perfect date to a dinner party. The relaxing end to a hectic day. You name it, wine can fit any occasion and all wine fanatics know that Australia is the place to get your mitts on the most delicious quality. Thankfully, they make wine to fit all budgets as most of us can’t afford to sip gourmet vintage $50 bottles every weekend.
Under $10:
Box wine, goon, goon bag, cask wine - it goes by many names but its reputation of being very affordable, easy to open and damn drinkable makes it a top choice for those on a shoestring. Yep, it doesn’t look extremely classy since the wine is trapped in a polyethelene bladder bag in a cardboard box, but it does the job and keeps longer than a traditional glass bottle. A sweet and sunny choice of cask white wine is Golden Oak’s Fruity Lexia (4 litres). It’s perfect for those that like delicate sweet whites and tropical fruit tastes. A great tipple to sip with light foods at BBQs, or a boozy night on the beach with some plastic cups. Class all the way, baby.
Under $25:
South Australia makes about 50% of Australia’s wine and the wineries near Adelaide are world-renowned for providing some of the best wines. This region is integral to Australian wine production, so if you pick a bottle which was born here, you can be sure it’ll be a delight for the taste buds. North of Adelaide lies the Barossa Valley which is Australia’s oldest area for fine wine. Famous for robust Shiraz, such as St Hallett Faith Shiraz, you won’t be disappointed with its ripe flavoursome taste and fine soft tannins. Juicy, fruity and warm. Yum. The Margaret River area also buzzes with an ace wine reputation and brings premium Chardonnays to the table. The Flametree Margaret River Chardonnay has lovely characters of pear, grapefruit, melon and fig. A creamy and rich choice that is great value for money.
Under $35:
Many believed that Tasmania was too far south for grapes to ripen, but boy were those early European migrants wrong! Tasmania dominates as a leading producer of premium cool climate wines and is praised by critics worldwide. The Pinot Noir grape is the most common in the state and the Frogmore Creek Pinot Noir will knock your socks off. The organically grown grapes have a savoury palette with strawberry essences. So enjoyable and rich in flavour, it is a real outstanding Pinot by an up-and-coming winery that hand plunge their reds.
Under $45:
Go on. Treat yourself. Blank out the price and focus on what could be the most delicious liquid to ever grace your palate. Coonawarra is the red centre of South Australia’s Limestone Coast with a legendary 12km long and 2km wide ridge, thick with vineyards. The age of the soil, climate and unique geology make this region one of the longest ripening seasons in the world, and produces unique Australian blends. The 2008 Yalumba The Menzies Coonawarra Cabernet Sauvignon has rich blackcurrant and cassis fruit with integrated oak and cedar notes. Smooth and chocolatey; satisfying and full of character. You’ll never be able to touch cask wine again after sampling this.
Wineries Websites:
St Hallett: www.sthallett.com.au Flametree Margaret River: www.flametreewines.com.au Frogmore Creek: www.frogmorecreek.com.au Yalumba The Menzies Coonawarra: www.coonawarra.org By Sophie Saint Images courtesy of Flametree Margaret River Wine
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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA
Snow Boarding Australia
Here we uncover the best locations to go snowboarding throughout Australia. With events like Christmas in July, night skiing, and some spectacular views from some mountain-top bars, you can make the most out of your snow-capped excursion whilst visiting one of the great Australian Ski Resorts. If your heart and soul is pure adrenaline-infused adventure, these are Australia’s finest locations to capture the spirit of the slopes.
Mount Buller, Victoria
Mount Buller is one of the best places to explore the snow in Australia, with snowboard runs, tobogganing and cross country treks. Located four hours away from Melbourne, this is a great miniexcursion where avid snowboarders can catch some testing terrain and cliff drops.
Image courtesy of Perisher Media
This resort offers 25 lifts, taking 40,000 snowboarders per hour up the 400m vertical rise, so you can really make the most of your time here. The mix of terrain in Buller will entertain all levels of boarder, from beginner to expert. It best catered for an intermediate snowboarder, but is designed for all skill levels. There are a huge amount of fresh runs that would make it impossible to carve them all in one day, and the ultra-cross course is something every boarder should try. The season starts in June and finishes up at the beginning of October, and there are plenty of activities available throughout the day and night. With over 30 bars and restaurants, after a day on the slopes, you can unwind or go crazy in Mt Buller. One favourite in Buller is Kooroora Hotel, located in the heart of the village. Perfect for a post-ski beverage, this venue heats up late into the night. Open until 3am, this is one of Mt Buller’s muchloved watering holes.
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The Loft Lounge & Bar is another great venue, open from 10am til late, offering food and drink. With a cosy atmosphere, this lodge-style bar also offers the six-flavoured Mountain Famous Breathtaker Hot Chocolate, best enjoyed by the log fire. This is the perfect place to wind down after a busy day on the snow. Another great location to curl up by the fire is Mooshead Bar, one of Mt Buller’s bestkept secrets. Chill with a gluhwien, a local wine or thirst-quenching beer. Mount Buller has more onmountain beds than anywhere else in Victoria, so there’s no chance to waste time in the morning; just step out the door and on to the slopes. Buller Backpackers offers basic, clean and affordable accommodation in the heart of the village. Stay here without blowing your budget, where you’re just steps from the chairlift, and in the midst of the scenic village. A bed ranges from $42 - $67 pp per night depending on the season, visit: www. bullerbackpackers.com.au for more information. From $200 pp per night, Pinnacle View Apartments offer a more luxurious, modern and stylish accommodation in a Dutch-style barn. Designed to accommodate groups, sleeping up to nine, it is easily accessible to the slopes and is in the foot of Mt Buller. It also has a dry room, with hydronic heating for storage of ski clothing and snowboarding gear.
Falls Creek, Victoria
Located in North-East Victoria, Falls Creek is a modern resort where snowboarders can really catch some air on the fantastic terrain here. Known as the country’s free-ride capital, the resort has four terrain parks equipped for serious exploration. It is the largest all-season alpine resort and the hottest location where boarders flock to flaunt their skills. Although this resort is a magnet for experienced boarders from all over the country, it also caters for beginners. The gently sloping Board Walk Run is exclusive to first-timers; Drovers Dream and Panorama Runs are long and flat, so ideal for beginners. What’s more, Wombats Ramble is Falls Creek’s longest beginner trail, leading down to the village.
For the thrill-seeking, advanced snowboarders, the Falls Creek world-class superpipe is a great stage to show off your tricks and skills. Located to the left of the Summit Chairlift, it also attracts spectators by hosting frequent competitions throughout the season. The numerous non-skiing activities on offer at Falls Creek include snow tubing, snow biking, bungee trampolining, scenic helicopter flights and grooming tours. If snow’s just not your thing, the village has fashion boutiques, cafes, restaurants and cosy bars should you wish to tag along, but not get involved in all the snow action. For the best in après ski, The Man Hotel is open all year round, and is one of Falls Creek’s top nightspots. During the winter ski season, it becomes a club, cocktail bar and livemusic venue that features popular Aussie bands. It is known as a Falls Creek institution and houses the famous “Man” pizzas, which will fill you up after a hard day of boarding. The Summit Ridge Restaurant is another popular choice that showcases the best local and seasonal produce. This rustic restaurant offers fine dining with crisp Asian flavours, innovative food and an extensive wine list. Located on the highest street in Falls Creek, it provides superb views and quiet seclusion to bask in its glory. Aside from the slopes, experience the Alpine sunset up 1800 metres high, at the top of the mountain. The perfect end to a day of boarding is taking in the picturesque views with a glass of Australian sparkling wine and gourmet picnic hamper. Sunset Tour from the Village Bowl run every Thursday at 5pm, to take in the views. Dreamers accommodation provides the perfect rural mountain setting and is located on five acres of river land, with chalets and apartments set around a trout filled lagoon. Prices range from $260 - $2,900 per night, and they also provide group accommodation and meal packages in luxury eco apartments. www.dreamersmtbeauty.com.au
pass at Hotham and snowriders are transported by an eight-seater snow Kat to explore outside your normal resort boundaries. Get an all-inclusive deal at the Arlberg Hotel, located one bus stop from Hotham Central and the main ski runs. This hotel has an in-house bistro, a swimming pool and the main highlight is the hot tub. Get accommodation, breakfast and a weekend lift pass for $314 per person for two nights. Visit:www.mthotham.com.au/resort/ accommodation/packages for more details on the packages on offer. From $80pp per night, the Valhalla Ski Club is ideal for those snowboarders on a budget. Located in an elevated position within 200 metres from Jack Frost and the main road, this lodge has a welcoming environment with easy access to everything you need on a snow break. The communal area means it’s a sociable place to get together with like-minded people. Check out: www.stayz.com.au for more on this lodge and similar types of accommodation.
Perisher Valley, New South Wales Located in the Falls Creek Village, Alpha Ski Lodge is a great place to enjoy the fantastic views of the village from its lofty position. Prices start from $61 pp per night with four share bunk rooms or double en-suites on offer. Visit: www.alphaskilodge.com.au to book.
Hotham, Victoria
Much like Falls Creek, Hotham is a favourite amongst confident freestyle snowboarders. The four terrains and rail parks provide a showroom for those who want to parade their skills. Take your pick from the tree runs, natural half pipes, gullies and bowls that Hotham is well renowned for. For less experienced boarders, Big D Beginner Park is designed for the kids and Basin Rail Park caters for all talents and abilities. It is the most accessible location and has a bar and restaurant where you can watch the pros strut their stuff. Hotham snow season starts in June and finishes in September and has 40% advanced terrain, with 20% suitable for beginners, and the remaining 40% caters for the intermediate ski and snowboarders. Popular events for those looking to hone their boarding skills are the Bread and Butter Rail Jam on 6th July, and the Cheese and Crackered Rail Jam on the 13th July. To welcome the snow and celebrate the opening of Basin Rail Park, you can watch the crew present their skills. You can put on a show yourself by registering at Boardbox or the Guest Services in Hotham Central. To watch international pros in action, catch FIS ANC Snowboard-X presented by Bolle between 25th and 28th August 2013. On Wednesday and Saturday nights, when the sun goes down, the fun in Hotham doesn’t stop. From 6.30pm – 9.30pm, for $11, night skiing takes over these slopes. Or, for intermediate snowboarders and above who want to discover the secret powder stashes that no ordinary vacationer gets to make their mark on, try the backcountry Kat skiing and snowboarding adventures. They are free with a valid
Home to the largest ski resort in the southern hemisphere and located in the Kosciusko National Park in the Snowy Mountains, Perisher Valley dominates Australia’s snowboarding scene. Located 500 kilometres south of Sydney and covering 1250 hectares of snow, this is a snowboarder’s paradise. The peak season here is around July and August where temperatures get down to around -5°C. June and September also receive a decent amount of snow, so if you don’t mind compromising on the powder, the accommodation is a little cheaper during these months.
There are a lot of snowboarding activities at this resort; including a fun park, a separate Board Riders school, a woman’s snowboard programme, a board rider’s guide, and the Addiction Snowboard store where you can ride in style. The vertical descent is about 350m long, but they have installed 50 lifts so you can make the most of the terrain available. The Overflow Bar in Perisher Valley offers amazing views from Front Valley to Mt Perisher and is a great location to watch the sun set over the snowy mountains. This bar offers regular live entertainment, two pool tables and dartboards. You won’t miss out on any big sporting events as they have big screen TVs, well-catered for those sports enthusiasts. The venue is open from 4pm til late every night. Another great place for relaxing between runs is The Top Spot Bar. With live entertainment on Thursdays, spectacular views across Mount Blue Cow and locally distilled Wild Brumby Schnapps, this is a delightful place to unwind. The Perisher Valley Hotel is renowned for its perfect location in the heart of Perisher Valley, moments from the lifts. With extensive views over the resort and easy access to all resort facilities, this accommodation has facilities to suit every type of boarder. Rates start from $149 Bed & Breakfast, per night, check out the website: www.perisher. com.au/perisher-valley-hotel for more information. The Corroboree Lodge is perfect for groups of friends in Perisher Valley, it is in a great location, right across from the Perisher Express chairlift. All
rooms have en-suites and the lodge has a stunning cocktail bar. In peak season, expect to pay $1652 per person, based on four-six sharing. Visit the website snowholidays.com.au/corroboree_rates to view the room types and rates they offer. During the summer, the mountains also attract tourists seeking white-water rafting, abseiling, climbing, horse-riding and fishing in the nearby lakes. Lake Jindabyne is extremely popular for canoeing and water skiing, with the Australian Water-Skiing Championships taking place there every year.
Charlotte Pass, New South Wales
Located in the Snowy Mountains, this is the only snowbound resort in Australia, which means you have to use over-snow transport from Perisher Valley to get there. Whether you’re a beginner, in the middle, or an advanced snowboarder, Charlotte Pass has it all. Named after Charlotte Adams, the first European woman to climb Mount Kosciuszko in 1881, the pass is Australia’s highest resort and delivers consistent, quality snow. This isolated resort doesn’t have any of the typical crowd problems encountered on everyday slopes because of the restricted number of people allowed in the village at any one time. This means it is the perfect place to ride the open snow and avoid any unnecessary traffic. As well as great slopes, Charlotte Pass is also a base for bushwalkers intending to walk to the top of Mount Kosciuszko in the summer. So, after taking a ride in the snowmobile from the Perisher Valler SkiTube terminal, enjoy ski lifts right on your doorstep, no long queues and more space to explore or find your snow feet. This is also the perfect place to enjoy Christmas in July, as the resort will be decorated with tinsel and Christmas trees, and you can take advantage of the snowy events. Get in the holiday spirit with a snowman building competition and snow photos with Santa. Why wait until December to celebrate? At Charlotte Pass, you can embrace the Christmas cheer in a picturesque setting. Christmas in July is celebrated between 21st-27th July at Charlotte Pass Ski Resort, check out the official website: www.charlottepass.com.au/whatsnew For a Charlotte Pass Day Tripper option, you can experience the slopes in an all-inclusive day trip. Departing from Perisher Valley, choose between three types of pass. If you want to make the most of your day snowboarding, then the DayTripperOne pass has a full mountain lift pass, return over snow transport, and a hot lunch at the Kosi Bar & Bistro. Tickets are $97 for adults and can be booked through: www.charlottepass.com.au/daytripper Altiji Alpine Lodge is located in Charlotte Pass Village and offers the true alpine experience in a picturesque valley below the slopes. This accommodation is located in the highest point of the valley, which gives you door-to-door boarding. The lodge bar, centrally heated, offers panoramic views of the mountains and village. For a seven night stay per person during peak season, it will cost $1695. Jump on board The Charlotte Pass Winter Festival 2013, taking place between 18th - 24th August. Special events include the Flare Run, Outdoor Ice Bar, Road Gap Jump, Free Tubin’ Tuesday, and the festival concludes with a fireworks display over the village. By Lucie Potter
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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA
Overground Adventure...
Take one of the world’s most spectacular road trips from Darwin to Broome... here we explore all the marvels in between. An exotic pearling town with tonnes of character and beautiful weather, Broome is the perfect holiday destination to relax, unwind and explore. The gateway to the Kimberley region of Western Australia, there is an abundance of life in this seaside town, from the world-renowned Cable Beach, where you can camel ride along the beach as the sun sets, to Roebuck Bay, where you can watch the full moon rise over the tidal flats, known as the ‘Staircase to the Moon’. It is a haven, unspoiled by modern development and rich with culture and history. Surrounded by Karijini and Purnululu National Parks and located 2000 km from Darwin and 2,300 km from Perth, we suggest taking a sevenday road trip to Broome from the Northern Territory city of Darwin. Be warned, this journey is not for the faint-hearted as you will be traveling through wilderness that competes with the size of Ireland, from the “Top End” and along the National Highway to Western Australia. However, if you don’t fancy doing it alone, tour companies run from Darwin to Broome and vice versa. While they may take different routes to our guide, you’ll still get to see what makes this region so special. You will have the chance to experience the great outback, take in the awe-inspiring landscape of Katherine Gorge and the sandstone domes of the Bungle Bungle range in Purnululu National Park. You’ll stop off at some of the best locations in the world such as Lake Argyle and Tunnel Creek along Gibb River Road. While this journey is no mean feat, all these attractions certainly make it well worth the drive. Start off in Darwin, where all the action happens outdoors. Spend your morning at the Cullen Bay Marina having breakfast and watching the sailboats sway on the water, before you visit Darwin’s largest park, the East Point Reserve, discover 200 hectares of forest, beaches and sea views, and if you don’t mind getting wet before you head off, take a dip in Lake Alexander, ensuring safe saltwater swimming all year round (according to the locals, anyway). Just two hours out of the centre of Darwin, along Stuart Highway, is Litchfield National Park, full to
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the brim with luscious woodlands. With stunning waterfalls and crystal-clear plunge pools, you won’t be able to stop yourself from getting out of the car and exploring, swimming beneath Florence Falls or in the whirlpools of Buley Rockhole, hiking and climbing to get the best views of your surroundings and meeting wildlife like fruit bats and wallabies that call the park home. Although your campervan would be the cheapest place to stay, there is accommodation in the local town of Batchelor, including the Batchelor Resort complete with 22 airconditioned motel rooms, a bar, a swimming pool and BBQ facilities. Rooms are $175 per night for one to two people. Continuing down Stuart Highway, be prepared to pass only two towns over a 200km stretch. Pine Creek, named so for its profusion of pine trees, is an old mining town, popular due to its historic railway station, the Goldrush Festival and Pine Creek Races. The town is located alongside the Umbrawarra Gorge Nature Park, which protects a beautiful undisturbed gorge with steep red cliffs and a small sandy beach. Dry season (May-October) is the only time you’ll get to the gorge, as roads become unsafe when water levels rise. Once you’ve gotten through the rocky terrain and deep creek crossings, you are free to wade and swim through the gorge, climb the rocks, catch a glimpse of a wallaby or a possum and explore the bush. Within such a sparse landscape, make use of your campervan in the campground, complete with pittoilet. Now that’s really travelling! The second town is Katherine, where you will leave Stuart Highway for Victoria Highway. Katherine is home to five art galleries, specializing in local and regional Aboriginal art, a country club and museum. The Nitmiluk National Park, formerly known as Katherine Gorge National Park, is ideal for any explorer. About 30km east of the town, the gorge is made up of 13 individual gorges carved by the Katherine River and perfect for swimming (depending on the season), canoeing or flatbottomed boating. Freshwater crocodiles can be seen nesting along most parts of the riverbank all year round, but saltwater crocs make it their home
during the wet season, so swimming is prohibited until water levels decrease. As your vehicle is your home for the trip, stay at Nitmulik Caravan Park, adjacent to the Katherine Gorge entrance where you can park up on shaded powered and unpowered sites amongst the wildlife and greenery. There is a little luxury on offer, with the inclusion of a landscaped pool, refreshments on the deck and free Wi-fi. 514km west of Katherine, along Victoria Highway, is the town of Kununurra and the El Questro Station. Providing unique accommodation, the station offers bungalows (with an actual bed!) and camping to the ambitious traveler in the heart of the wilderness. This protected area is perfect to laze about on the Pentecost riverbank and enjoy a gorgeous slab of meat at the Steakhouse restaurant. Let’s face it, on this trip you’re lucky if you’ve had your dinner on a sturdy table and chair! If you fancy booking a tour to see the sights rather than going alone, most companies leave from The Station, so you’ll be in safe hands. Just south of Kununurra lies Lake Argyle, Australia’s largest expanse of freshwater at 900 square km. It has allowed an ecosystem to grow and thrive, with great fishing and bird-watching taking place all year. Freshwater crocodiles have multiplied in numbers thanks to predators of the eggs being unable to survive on the lake’s small islands, resulting in 35,000 croc inhabitants! They can be easily spotted in the cooler months during a boat tour of the lake. As these critters aren’t known to attack humans, the locals consider the lake to be safe for swimming, but make someone go in before you if you want to see for yourself! Boat tours are popular with tourists and locals to get the most out of a visit to the lake. With Triple J Tours, a morning cruise costs $70 per adult, enjoy the sunset for $90 and spend a day on the lake from $160. The attraction of Lake Argyle continues when you pull into the caravan park. Spanning 5 hectares, the park sits on the edge of a cliff and offers you spectacular views of the lake and Kimberley region. There are also regular winged visitors in the likes of the Gouldian Finch and the White Quilled Rock Pigeon.
If you fancy a detour out in the open, head off of the Victoria Highway, 41km after Kununurra, onto Gibb River Road. This popular path takes you through the heart of the Australian bush and gives you a sense of true wilderness. Experience life on a cattle ranch, learn about the rich history and communities of the Aborigines and travel past cliff faces, gorges and mountain ranges millions of years old and still changing. If you didn’t understand before why locals have stuck around the north-west of Australia, now you will. This 660km stretch of road ends in Derby, just three hours from your destination of Broome. Along the way is Tunnel Creek, a deep cave made of limestone rock and home to bats, frogs and fish. In 2007, rocks collapsed across the mouth of the cave, so to get inside you have to climb over two boulders - like getting there wasn’t hard enough! Once inside, you may have to compete with knee-
Don’t leave home without: 50 gallons of water
Ankle high walking shoes (so you don’t get bitten by snakes) Visa card & cash Sun cream
Insect Repellent Map
Swiss Army Knife
Blankets and towels Walking boots First aid kit
Maximum 15 kg Bag – back pack, or soft bag, no hard suitcases A good attitude
deep water and pitch-black darkness in some places, so waterproof footwear and a torch are a must, but the sunlight can be seen creeping through between the rocks. Once you get through the creek, you’ll be welcomed by a big waterhole that’s great for swimming in, so why not take a dip before you head back to the car park? There are plenty of gorges along Gibb River Road. Windjana Gorge was carved through the Napier Range by the Lennard River over millions of years. With a length of 3.5km and depth of 80km, it is surrounded by steep reef cliffs formed in the Devonian period and plenty of vegetation to provide a home for hundreds of freshwater crocs. Due to the amount of these water dinosaurs, swimming is not recommended, but you can still enjoy the views along the ten-minute walk from the campsite. Bell Gorge, complete with Bell Creek at its centre, features an outstanding waterfall 100 metres high leading to a deep swimming hole perfect for swimming. Views of the creek and waterfall are just a short walk from the car park, but those that want to get down to the water have to cross the river at the top of the waterfall via rock-hopping. The trek to Manning Gorge is a bit of an adventure, but you’ll soon find yourself in a stunning location. To get to the gorge, you need to swim across the river, so if you don’t want to get wet – tough! Follow a trail to the very top and you will be met with white sand-like beaches, a waterfall and a wide swimming hole that reflects the untouched surroundings in its crystal waters. Although Gibb River Road is accessible using a 2-wheel drive, with so many attractions off the beaten track, it should be obvious by now that you will die if you don’t have a 4x4! The end of River Gibb Road meets the entrance to the town of Derby. The gateway to Kimberley, it has a long history as a port for the cattle and sheep industry. The town continues to function as Kimberley’s supply point for pastoral, pearling, oil and mining, but its most popular tourist attraction is the Boab Prison Tree. An aboriginal heritage site, the tree is 1500 years old with a hollow centre and a doorway, making it unlike any other boab tree. It got its name by being on the route the police would use to take prisoners into Derby for sentencing. There are also names carved into it from the people that have visited it over the years, much to the dismay of the locals. From Derby, head to your finish point using the Derby Highway, continuing west onto the Great Northern Highway and Broome Road. You’re now at Broome, that blissful seaside town we told you about 2000km back. Park your campervan at one of the many caravan sites available and explore. On offer are 22km of clean white sand on Cable Beach, crystal clear warm water, whale-watching, coastal, sand dune and bush walks throughout Minyirr Park and Town Beach in Roebuck Bay, a popular spot to watch Staircase to the Moon, a natural occurrence when the full moon rises over the exposed tidal flats of the bay between March and October. Relax at one of the many beachside cafes and buzzing hotel bars. You can also view 130 million year old dinosaur footprints during the low tides at Gantheaume Point. All this and more makes Broome an extremely unique and necessary place to visit. By Charlotte Mellor
Images courtesy of Tourism Western Australia
Head south once more and you’ll find yourself in Purnululu National Park, home to the Bungle Bungle Range. The sandstone, striped domes of the range are forever popular with tourists, making it well worth the difficult drive on the Spring Creek Track that leads to them. Formed over 350 million years from the Devonian period, they are comparable to a hundred gigantic beehives, nestled on the edge of the Bungle Bungle that was once a riverbed. Due to weathering and Earth movements, they have changed shape over millions of years, and are even forming in a new area as the erosion continues. Due to the fragility of the domes, you are not allowed to climb them, or even leave the designated walking paths. You will still be in for the hike of your life though, with that eerie feeling that you’re walking through a whole other world. If you don’t fancy following everyone else’s footsteps, why not enjoy a bird’s-eye view of the whole range with a helicopter ride? Slingair Heliwork is the only helicopter operator within the National Park, so every minute is spent over the Bungle Bungle. An 18-minute ride costs $235 per adult, half-an-hour will set you back $335 and a whole 48 minutes is $495.
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GLOBAL WATCH
JAPAN
If you’re seeking ancient temples and traditions intertwined with modern, futuristic technologies, then Japan will fit the bill. Spend some time in the cosmopolitan environment of Tokyo. Here we take you on an introductory guide on how to take in the best of Tokyo whilst on your travels. On the surface, Tokyo is a modern, cosmopolitan city with a fixation on all things new. But underneath the façade lies some unexpected cultural and architectural traditions, which restores faith in the Japanese tradition. There’s no doubt that firsttime travellers should throw themselves into the contemporary atmosphere that Japan delivers.
Sumo Wrestling in Tokyo
There are three grand tournaments in Tokyo throughout the year. The action packed 15-day event takes place in January, May and September at Tokyo’s National Sumo Hall. If the idea of Japanese Sumos in loinclothes isn’t enough to entice you, the audience members throwing seat cushions after an exhilarating match should. To book your experience with a tour, that includes access to the ceremony, provides English commentary and a traditional sumo dinner, visit: www.viator.com/tours/ Tokyo/Tokyo-Sumo-Wrestling-Tournament/ for the package costing approximately $110.
Tsukiji Fish Market
It may not sound like your normal tourist destination, but Tsukiji Fish Market is a must-see when visiting Tokyo. It is the largest wholesale seafood market selling fish, fruits and vegetables in the centre of Toyko. The main attraction is the famous tuna auction, where they limit the number of visitors to 120 a day, so arrive early to avoid disappointment. The Tsukiji Market is located just above Tsukiji Shijo Station on the Oedo Subway Line.
Shibuya Crossing
To really embrace the full spectrum of the Tokyo experience, walking on the busiest pedestrian crossing in the world is the way to do it. Not only will the Shibuya Crossing provide a great photo opportunity, the scramble at the intersection encapsulates Tokyo completely. Whether you’re in the middle of it, or observing from the sidelines, experiencing everyone spilling out into the street, followed by the few minutes of relative calm, is something every visitor must encounter. To get your chance to fight your way through the havoc of the crossing, get off at Shibuya Station.
Accommodation in Tokyo Khaosan Tokyo Ninja
Khaosan Tokyo Ninja is one of the cheapest places to stay in Tokyo and is a popular choice for backpackers. It is in a great location, has helpful and friendly staff and is good value for money. The dorms are really quirky and have cosy, cabin style beds. Room prices range from ¥2200 ($23) to
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¥3000 ($32) per night, per person. Visit their website: www.khaosan-tokyo.com/en/ ninja/ for more information.
Ryokan Sansuiso
The appeal to this hotel is the simple rooms for low prices in a convenient location. The close proximity to Shibuya, Ebisa and Roppongi is what makes this hotel so attractive. Rooms are available for up to five people and prices range from ¥5,000 ($53 pn) to ¥20,000 ($215 pn) depending on your room preference. Visit their site: www.sansuiso.net
Hotel Chinzanso Tokyo
Fujita Kanko are offering special accommodation and dining plans during firefly season at four of their properties. Hotel Chinzanso Tokyo is an iconic fivestar flagship property known for its botanical garden that becomes home to a collection of fireflies during the season in June. Located in the heart of Tokyo, the hotel is surrounded by peaceful and spacious greenery. The firefly season encapsulates the beauty of Japanese summer and has had a place in Japanese culture for over a thousand years. Despite Tokyo’s urban exterior, this is a great location to spot these luminescent insects in their full glory. Prices for this accommodation varies; this hotel has a Japanese suite where the room price can range up to ¥150,000 ($1,600 pn) a night for the height of luxury.
Places to visit near Tokyo Kamakura
This is a popular destination for a day trip from Tokyo, where there are a huge amount of Buddhist temples. Take in the Japanese countryside and discover some picturesque walks. Get more info at: www.kamakuratoday.com
Nokogiri in Chiba
Home to the largest Buddha in Japan, visitors flock here from Tokyo to see the 31 metre high Buddha Statue after an invigorating hike. This is an accessible day trip from Tokyo that is definitely worth it. www.mt-nokogiri.co.jp/pc/p130000.php
Mt. Takao
Located one-hour from the centre of Toyko, Mt. Takao is a rarity for great hiking found in such a close proximity to the city. Forget the outside world by reaching the top on a cable car, ropeway or by walking, for spectacular views. Visit the official website: www.takaotozan.co.jp/takaotozan_eng1 By Lucie Potter
TRAVEL ESSENTIALS Each month, we bring you the best travel essentials that we’ve tried and tested. From gadgets to cosmetics, here’s the best products we’ve found this month! Simply Coconut Oil
Tired of carrying your huge collection of lotion bottles, hair products and beauty essentials in your suitcase? Thanks to Simply Coconut Oil, all you’ll need now is this one tub. It might seem a little big and bulky at first, but the 200ml has so much versatility, you’ll only need this one product when you go on holiday. That’s it! Here at BBM we recommend using it as a cleanser and moisturiser, but it also works effectively as massage oil, hair conditioner, eye make-up remover, lip balm and an insect repellent. It leaves your skin feeling soft, clean and rejuvenated. So don’t bother packing up all your potions, this wonder pot is everything you need. Even Angelina Jolie gives it a big thumbs up, so if it’s good enough for celebs, then it’s good enough for us! Be sure to massage the Simply Coconut Oil into your hair before swimming to hydrate the hair cuticles, seal in moisture and prevent the chlorine from damaging your hair. For those of you who are going camping and are feeling a little more adventurous, it doubles up as a great cooking product and can be used in salad dressings, a spread and even in smoothies! $6 available from www.powerhealth.co.uk
Magicigs Disposable
Want to stop smoking and get fit for your next holiday? With help from Magicigs Disposable, you’ll be able to satisfy your nicotine cravings without the smoke, smell, tar or ash. The Magicig Disposable is an electronic smoking device which is equivalent to 40 cigarettes, so it’s great if you’re on the go as there is no need to recharge or replace cartomisers. $11 available from www.magicig.com
Yurbuds Earphones
If you’re planning on starting everyday of your trip going on a morning run by the beach, be sure to take these sports earphones with you! These ultra soft silicone buds are so comfortable; they have tangle free cords so you’ll be able to jog with ease. They’re compatible with all smartphones, tablets and other audio devices. Yurbuds come with ambient-noise awareness so you’ll be able to listen to your favourite tracks whilst being able to still hear what’s going on around you. These will also work great on the plane too as you won’t miss any of the announcements! $81 available from www.wiggle.co.uk
TL-WR702N Nano Router
With this portable nano router, you’ll never have to hunt down another Internet café on your travels again. It’s perfect for video streaming, online gaming and Internet calling, and works with tablets, smartphones, handheld game consoles and other portable electronic devices. It’s powered by an external power adapter or USB connection, and conveniently shares the connection around a room at 150Mbps so all your friends can hook up to it too! $26, available from www.tp-link.com
In the know for Frequent Flyers... The Kobo Mini E-Reader
The Kobo Mini is one of the smallest e-readers on the market, making it the perfect travel companion for people on the go. Sized at a handy 5”, it fits snugly into pockets and carry on bags, so it’s great for using on the plane. The no-glare E Ink screen is easy on the eyes, even in the brightest of sunlight! You’ll always be spoilt for choice as it holds up to 1,000 e-books and is available in black or white, with a selection of stylish coloured SnapBacks covers. $95 available from www.whsmith.co.uk and all fine electronic retailers
Label M Mini Airliner
This handy hair styling travel pack from Label M comes with your choice of four Cleanse, Condition, Create and Complete products. There’s no need to worry about airport restrictions as they all come in 50/60ml bottles and fit snugly within a transparent zipped case. It’s everything you need to keep your hair looking perfect anywhere you go! $20 available from www.labelm.com
Simple Kind To Skin Hydrating Light Moisturiser
The Hydrating Light Moisturiser by Simple is a great way to help you freshen up, whether you’re at the airport, on the plane or at your hotel. The small, lightweight bottle makes it great for travelling and contains a perfect mix of ingredients that help keep your skin replenished and hydrated. So don’t leave the house without it! $2.20 available from www.simple.co.uk
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GLOBAL WATCH BBM’s Top Ten Island’s In The World... When people think of islands, peaceful tropical beaches come to mind. But it’s not all just sun and sand. We’ve found some fantastic islands across the world for you to check out. So whether you’re looking to relax on a beach, see beautiful architectural towns, visit natural phenomenona or get up close and personal with historical creatures, there’s an ideal island for everyone.
Alonissos, Greece
If you’re after something a little more peaceful and remote, then the green and fertile Alonissos Island would be the perfect choice. It might be the lesser known of the three Sporades islands, which are situated off mainland Greece’s east coast, but its beautiful crystal clear waters and surrounding marina parks do not disappoint. We recommend staying in the Karnagio Beach Villa which is an attractive two bedroom villa with a private swimming pool and beautiful view of Peristera Island. For more information visit www.ionianislandholidays.com
Galapagos Islands
Kaua’l, Hawii
Home to a number of endemic species studied by Charles Darwin, the Galapagos Islands are a group of volcanic islands located on either side of the Equator in the Pacific Ocean.
When people think of Hawaii, they imagine the pristine golden beaches and palm trees swaying in the breeze, but there’s far more than just the beach to explore.
At first the rough and rocky isles might appear isolated, but if you take a trip on one of their luxury Galapagos Cruises, you’ll discover giant Galapagos tortoises as they meander in the distant highlands. Marvel at prehistoric marine iguanas as they sun themselves along the shore on black lava rocks and keep a look out for the lounging sea lions or the pink flamingos in the hidden lagoons! So head to the Galapagos Islands and explore some of the world’s most abundant and highly adaptive creatures.
In Kaua’l, be sure to explore the Island’s natural wonder, the Waimea Canyon. The contrast of its red and black lava rocks against the site’s lush green forest makes a magnificent picture. Here you’ll be able to look over the Na Pali cliffs as well as venture out on hiking trails through and around a canyon. So why not explore the more historical and natural beauty side of Hawaii for a change?
San Juan Island, Washington, USA
If variety, beauty, and tranquillity is what you’re after with a hint of wildlife, a visit to Washington’s San Juan Island is a must. Here you’ll discover everything from an alpaca ranch and vineyards, to lavender farms and orca whales.
Dubrovnik, Croatia
Dubrovnik is a beautiful artistic town surrounded by the crystal clear Adriatic waters. It’s formed of magnificent marble streets, outstanding monuments, monasteries and a medley of small vibrant cafés and shops. Beyond the walls enriched in history, you’ll find pristine beaches and wooded peninsulas. So whether you want a week on the beach or a week of culture, you’ll get the best of both worlds here at Dubrovnik.
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You’ll enjoy wandering through the peaceful waterside streets where you’ll come across small boutique shops and art galleries. Taste the local cuisine in the many restaurants and bakeries dotted across the island. There are plenty of quiet spots to just sit and watch the day go as you soak in the gorgeous views and architecture.
Nosy Be, Antsiranana Province
Northwest of Madagascar lies Nosy Be; it’s one of the more popular islands that attracts tourists and no doubt it’s because of its near perfect tropical climate. The stunning beaches are ideal for swimming as the sea stays shallow for miles. It offers attractive hotel accommodation, and a huge range of activities including Dhow Sailing Trips, Deep Sea fishing, Scuba Diving and even Lemur Tours. So whether you’re after an active holiday, or something a little more relaxing, Nosy Be has something for everyone.
Pantelleria, Sicily
Known as the ‘black pearl of the Mediterranean’ the volcanic island of Pantelleria is to the south of the western tip of Sicily, and is the largest and charismatic of all the Sicilian islands. Take a trip down its rocky coastline and explore its interesting variety of caves, inlets and grottos. While you’re by the water be sure to look out for monk seals, as you won’t find them in any other area of the Mediterranean. If you’re lucky you might even catch a glimpse of some dolphins too! Pantelleria is the perfect choice if you’re an avid explorer or if you just simply love nature and the great outdoors. We recommend staying in the chic holiday home Dammuso Roccavento. Visit www.thinksicily.com/Dammuso-Roccavento for more info.
Saint Vincent, Saint Vincent & The Grenadines
Easter Islands, Chile
Renowned as one of the world’s most sacred sites, the Easter Islands are most famous for their mysterious busts that were built centuries ago using giant slabs of stone. These reflect the history of the Polynesian culture and it remains one of the most isolated islands on Earth. The biggest tourist attraction are the Moai, which are archaeological features placed upon ceremonial platforms and burial sites. However, the islands are also home to two exceptional volcanic craters as well as two excellent white sand beaches where scuba diving and snorkelling is very popular. Be sure to add some history into your next trip as these Polynesian ruins should be on everyone’s bucket list.
Saint Vincent is the ideal destination if you want to have a break from your busy lifestyle. Located in the Caribbean Sea between Saint Lucia and Grenada, this volcanic island is home to a beautiful tropical rainforest full of stunning waterfalls and scenic coastal paths. You’ll also be able to explore the islands’ idyllic beaches and picturesque coral reefs and the turquoise lagoons of The Grenadines. It’s a tropical haven if you’re after a luxurious hideaway, but if you fancy an activity to fill up the day be sure to try your hand at yachting, scuba diving or even whale, dolphin and turtle watching!
Koh Rong Saloem, Sihanoukville, Cambodia
If all you want to do is sunbathe on a beach for a week, where better to go than to the aptly named Lazy Beach? It’s a private tropical hideaway on the island of Koh Rong Saloem off the coast of Cambodia. You can stay in charming wooden bungalows amongst the jungle surroundings which give heavenly views of the warm sea. There are several bus trips available including journeys to Siem Reap, Kampot and Bangkok, so there’s plenty to explore if you do decide you want a little more culture on your trip!
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WHAT’S TRENDING
Berry Good
Just because the summer is over, it doesn’t mean you can’t still look your best this winter. As the temperature starts to drop, it’s all about keeping warm and feeling snug in soft fabrics this July. This season, shades of warm reds, dark berry’s and burgundy’s are definitely a must with solid black accessories - and don’t forget the smoky eyes to complete the look girls! Here are some of our top picks to help you kick-start your winter wardrobe. 1.
FOR HIM... 1. Varnish heather Carharrt playoff jumper, $106, available from www.surfdome.com 2. Nugget blue Lee Powell jeans, $130, available from www.leejeans.com 3. Button through hoodie, $41, available from www.asos.com 4. Charcoal cropped belted trench coat, $114, available from www.topman.com 5. Black studded panel rucksack, $46, available from www.riverisland.com 7. Oversized burgundy beanie, $10, available from www.asos.com 8. Red smart leather belt, $26, available from www.topman.com 9. Black silicon minimal watch, $34, available from www.riverisland.com 10. Green Havaianas wellies, $73, available from www.Havaianas.com 11. Berry red polka dot shirt, $41, available from www.riverisland.com 12. New Balance Red & Charcoal 574, $110, available from newbalance.com.au
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FOR HER...
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1. Dark red jersey skater skirt, $25, available from www.riverisland.com 2. Burgundy cable mix tights, $11.50, available from www.topshop.com 3. Dark red super skinny trousers, $33, available from www.riverisland.com 4. Roll back sleeve crop tee, $17, available from www.riverisland.com 5. Oversized clutch bag, $33, available from www.asos.com 6. Shimla icon bracelet, $107, available from www.shimlajewellery.com 7. Bonded short parka, $106, available from www.topshop.com 8. Zatchels classic leather satchel (Graphite), $147, available from www.zatchels.com 9. Red Havaianas Wellies, $73, available from www.Havaianas.com 10. Black kohl pencil with smudger, $13, available from www.frontcovercosmetics.com 11. Voodoo nail varnish, $4, available from www.beautyukcosmetics.com 12. Berry red lip and cheek tint, $11.50, available from www.topshop.com 13. False lash mascara, $16.50, available from www.topshop.com
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INTERVIEWS
SHAPESHIFTER Today’s following of Drum & Bass, not to mention the culture that accompanies it, is exponential. Shapeshifter were there from the early days in which the sound was born, and are celebrating the release of their new album, ‘Delta’, by heading out on their international tour that’s starting in Australia this August. ‘Delta’ is testament that the group are still going strong in representing their interpretation of D&B. Here’s what Shapeshifter’s Mr Nick Robinson thinks, anyway.
Hey there, virtual hand-shake over the phone! Sure, sure. I’ve never really understood handshaking what do you think of it? When you first meet someone, do you shake their hand? Yeah I do! Do you not find it a bit formal? Umm… No, no - I like it. I shake people’s hands… Alright, alright - so tell me Nick, where are you right now? I’m in Christchurch, just taking a bit of a break. Ah, Christchurch! Tell me things, are you there for work, pleasure or life? Nah, I live here. I’m at home. Home?! Home is Melbourne! What do you think of Melbourne? [I] love Melbourne! Melbourne is just like - well I lived there for about five years… Your group originate from New Zealand. Would you classify Shapeshifter as anything else/ any other genre other than Drum and Bass? I guess, if we were to be in a genre, it would be the Drum and Bass sect. We are, you know, definitely, I would say we are more Drum and Bass than anything else. I mean the history is that most of the records have been Drum and Bass as well - so the answer would be yes we’re Drum and Bass. Okay - so do you then feel that’s what you’ve carried through into your new album? I ask because, while the sound of Drum and Bass has certainly evolved, I am curious as to if your album has evolved with that? Umm yeah I think so, and I think that we’ve all sort of evolved as well - we almost build a lot more kind of different genres of music clips into our sounds and yeah, I think it’s partly taking risks. And er yeah, but I think Drum and Bass is changed in [that]- you can get Drum and Bass in a 128 tempo which I like - it’s deeper. It has changed and the boundaries are sort of coming down these days in the main genres.
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With that extent of evolution, and the sound arguably having changed completely - would you ever say that Drum and Bass was “old news”? I’d say, “Hey, that’s like saying Rock’n’Roll is old news!” Haha, fair enough! So, with this evolution of sound, how do you feel about the tone of Dubstep? Dubstep I like. I mean, out of Dubstep, there will be some tracks I like - and some that I don’t - I wouldn’t necessarily say I’d buy that much of it… Speaking of which, where do you get most of your personal music from? Mmm, iTunes not that much - just a few cool popular albums I’ve bought off there. Mainly Amazon - I can’t really remember the last thing I bought! Same here! So tell me, being a Kiwi-based band, do you feel that your understanding of the Drum and Bass scene initially started in New Zealand, or do you feel that it is a global phenomenon that originated from everywhere universally? Well um - it would probably have originated from England. Yeah, you think so? I’ve always felt it to be a London sound, certainly disputed it being a product of New Zealand - yet I found out that you guys (Shapeshifter) are all from NZ and so wondered what you thought. Yeah I guess we were inspired by the English DJs. That’s really interesting! You know, Grooverider - DJ’s like Bailey, and like, so many! They were all coming to New Zealand, and it was probably what inspired us in New Zealand. Wow, that really wasn’t the answer I was expecting! So how do you feel when you go on tour to England in that case? Have you played much over there? Yeah, yeah we do, it’s awesome. I think one of the very first times we ever went over we played Fabric, and I just remember seeing the line-up of all of our idols, yeah so that’s, well, it’s awesome. It’s like, it’s
really the sound where it all began and the music that we love… Sorry, did you really mean that? You played Fabric? Yeah, yes, Fabric. You know Fabric? It’s a funny name - club in London? Woah- of course I know Fabric, yet that’s going way back, sounds like a million years ago now! There’s a real blast from the past - have you been back since? No, no I haven’t actually. Haha, don’t, trust me - you definitely played it in its peak and that’s all. After linking back to such an old sound there, I now wonder how you feel about taking the new album on tour, and will it visit the UK? Well, really good actually yeah, it’s probably sort of the one album in which we’ve done anything that will affect the UK most. Just because of what we’ve done with the production, and a lot of the production was done within [the] beat that’s got a good reputation in the UK. So yeah, I’m excited, but you just have to wait and see I guess - it’s a funny game! So tell me, where are you excited about for this upcoming tour, and where are you most looking forward to displaying this new work? Well, we really, really can’t wait to go back to Europe - all through Europe, and obviously UK out of all the places we’ve been playing over the years, but yes, out of the whole tour… We’ve got our gigs that we’re playing in Melbourne and people in Sydney, so it will be really cool playing in Melbourne, that’s always really fun. They’re all like ones in Australia really, and um, well I’m looking forward to playing our hometown in Christchurch. You know, I just can’t get over that you were talking about playing Fabric and now you’re looking forward to a global tour, from Europe to Christchurch! Good luck with it all and thanks very much! By Lillie Almond
GOO GOO DOLLS
Having just released their tenth studio album, ‘Magnetic’ we catch up with The Goo Goo Dolls’ Johnny Rzeznik. With a US tour currently in place, and a UK tour coming up in October, it’s nothing but exciting news for the band. So would it be equally exciting to ask lead singer and songwriter Johnny Rzeznik when he last used a waterslide? Maybe. Though nowhere near as exciting as finding out what he first washes when he showers… Hi there John, Johnny, John? Whatever you like. I like “Johnny”. How are you? I’m really good thanks, how are you?
Ha, painful. So, name, Goo Goo Dolls - explain? Err… You know, I was 19 and was just playing in a garage band and just thought It would be funny and somehow we got a record deal and… if I could change it I would.
Awesome thanks. “How are you” feels like such a boring question. I’ll ask instead where have you been all my life? (Or since the last album…) Writing! Playing music… living my life.
I read that your band name is from a magazine or something? Oh! Yeah yeah, I got it the name out of the back of a magazine.
Us non-rockstars forget that you have those ordinary real lives - wait, can I call you a “rockstar”, is that weird? Hmm. I don’t know - I mean, I like to think of myself as… a musician with a job.
Okay, I have another weird question for you, is that okay? Yeah, I’ve been asked pretty much everything…
Much better. So, I’m in Melbourne right now, have you ever been? Ahh your accent! Then again- I’m sure my accent is confusing for you - yeah I’ve been to Melbourne! I like Melbourne a lot. Really? Are you saying that to be polite to us? No really, I actually liked it there! It had a bit more of an edge to the city than Sydney which I liked as well, but it was like… Sydney reminded me more of Miami. Melbourne reminded me of New York or Seattle. You mentioned in an interview that your new album, ‘Magnetic’, has taught you a great deal and changed your thinking about music - what do you mean? Are we to expect a new spin to the Goo Goo Dolls? I don’t want to lose my ‘Iris’… Haha! I decided for once I wanted to write a record that didn’t have a lot of ballads on it, that was more… up-tempo. Yeah, and I got together with some friends of mine who I’ve written with. I’ve written songs for other artists, some songwriter friends of mine, and we got together and um… I just wanted to learn from them. And I wanted to see if they could add to what I’d been doing - so it was a lot of fun. I learned that, y’know, being in a room full of people and really just having a lot of laughs writing songs is more fun than trying to sit there alone completely. So… does this collaborative element mean you’ll be aiming for a different new age demographic fan base, or is this Something for the Rest of Us old fans? Sounds as if you’ve aimed for a different style? No I don’t think so - I don’t think it’s - or I don’t know if it’s the kinda thing for younger kids - I don’t know, so - I don’t know. You know, I definitely wasn’t trying to make like a boyish Pop record…
Where and how exactly are you sitting? Now, I wanna be weird here and find out exactly, as in positioning and everything: go. (Or don’t, that’s cool too.) Well… Umm I’m currently in New York city - sitting on a bed? Wondering why you’re being asked such weird questions? I feel like an assassin, let’s move on. So, I told my bank manager about this interview, and he told me to pass you a message. Apparently, there’s a chicken with bird flu in your bank account right now. We need your pin number to enter that account and clean out the flu, please may you provide this? A what in my bank account? A chicken. In my bank account? We have to solve this problem immediately. Oh. Okay yeah - I’ll give you a fake PIN number, okay? Ha. Thought so! Sorry. Anyway, did you always wanna be a great musician when you grew up? Please tell me you used a hairbrush as a microphone in the mirror - yes, yes? Umm - yeah I mean you know, we’d run around the house singing, playing with tennis racquets as guitars but… never thought it would happen. Did you know that Tony Blair used to wanna be a rockstar? Well - he did pretty well for himself. He kinda was a rockstar in a weird kinda way for a while. For real? I think there’s probably a lot more perks to being prime minister than a musician. I think politicians are more decadent than any musician I’ve ever met.
So, considering Washington’s Barack Obama gig, what’s been your fave concert to play? That was an interesting show - we played a fundraiser for him and he was there - I only talked to him for about 30 seconds. [Favourite gig was] South Africa, at 46664, Nelson Madela’s AIDS foundation concert - it was pretty incredible, huge stadium. I got to stand on the side of the stage and watch Peter Gabriel play… incredible! What’s the first thing you wash when you get in the shower? Hahaha! My ass! [Laughs] Am I allowed to ask that? You can do whatever you want! That Taylor Swift gig, any interruptions? Any interruptions? It was kind of… interesting. I showed up and met her there - and she showed me what she wanted me to do during her show - and I said okay… And they lifted me onto the stage with an elevator- then I came up from under the stage and sang with her. You had no idea they were gonna be using an elevator? No, I had no idea they were gonna be using an elevator… first time that’s happened! Probably the last time too! Johnny - you’ve obviously done a interviews! No doubt you’ve answered favourite colour, hobby and inspiration questions. What question have you wanted to be asked? How you doing?
million infinite related always
Really? That’s what everyone asks! Yeah but - from someone who really wants to hear it - most don’t really care about that, they just wanna hear that you’re having a great time. That’s what I mean! The barista who asks, then shows her lack of interest when turning her back to the answer. That question is never asked in any form other than rhetorical. I cared! Yet we’re out of time for the real answer! Thanks for being beautiful, keep alert for those chickens in your bank account, and have fun on tour. By Lillie Almond
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INTERVIEWS
GARBAGE
The Alternative Rock band that owned the 90s, Garbage are back with a bang. After taking just a bit too long a break , we were keen to find out a bit of old stuff about them, and what their plans are for the future. Lead guitarist, Steve Marker tells us how it all started, and why Garbage are still together almost 20 years later. Hello there Mr Marker, whereabouts are you right now? Yeah hello, we’ve established you’re in MelbourneI’m in Colorado. And have you been up to much today? What time is it in Colorado right now? 6.30 in the evening. Today… I mowed my lawn. Oh exciting, busy day in the life of a rock star! Absolutely- and then I’ve been riding my bike a lot… Okay! Tell me about the five-year gap in the group? Yes, we all went off and did our own thing for a while- we’d all been on the road for so long and… we just figured we’d take a little break! What brought you back together then? Ah, just a sort of mutual love for the music that we’d done in the past and… friendship. Aw, friendship, isn’t that sweet? Well it wasn’t ever just a thing where it was a business proposition. I suppose that’s clarified by the way that you don’t play towards a particular audience - and instead play and see what happens? Hmm, well that’s the goal anyway, we realise that certain people like certain things, but we also try to please ourselves. Yeah that’s good, that’s good. Can you tell me a joke? A joke? I have totally put you on the spot here, so feel free to bail… Umm, okay- I’ll think of a joke for you. Hmm, I’m gonna Google it - I’m going to jokes.com, hold on. Oh no! That’s so cheating! Okay here we go! How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? You’re cheating so it doesn’t count! Hmm.. I don’t know, you… I want to think of something funny, so I’m not sure. It counts - you didn’t get the joke? Should I get it? I don’t get it, I’m really slow with these things… Here let’s see, umm... Doesn’t count if you’re looking it up online… Alright, what’s brown and sticky?
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A stick. A stick. Yes! The best joke in the UK. I know, it’s pretty bad hey. If you could collaborate with anyone in the world, alive or dead - from Tom Jones to Michael Jackson who would it be and why? Joe Strummer. The best rock star ever, I think. In that respect, you’re in the car on a Sunday drive - what music are you listening to? On a Sunday? That’s what happens on a Saturday here. Haha, sorry, you mow the lawn don’t you?! Yeah! And for something as mild as that, it might be The Clash or it might be The Ramones or… I might feel like heading onto Spotify and looking for The Clash’s latest releases and I might find something good… I’m not sure if you ever get this, because you seem a very calm, friendly character, but sometimes I’m driving along, something comes on the radio and I furiously stab at the buttons because something agonising comes on, ahem [certain artist]. I don’t have anything for [said artist]. Sorry, did you say you don’t have any respect for Justin Beiber? Umm... I don’t really have an opinion on Justin Beiber How can you not?! You have no opinion? Justin Beiber is not something that really infects my world very heavily… If you did have an opinion, what would it be? I think he’s probably uh... I have no idea, I’ve never met him - I don’t know. Y’know, I was gonna overlook this, and now I’m really curious - what is your outlook on his music at least? Um, I’ve heard very little of it, because I don’t listen to that type of radio - but I think he seems err.. very pleasant and unoffensive. Ha! Very pleasant? Pleasant and unoffensive. Amazing. In the future, do you see the group together forever? Is there anything big in the pipeline? Mainly our next new record.
Ten years down the line, do you see yourselves together and carrying on making music, or do you see yourselves going separate ways again? I actually do see us working together forever, but not necessarily as a touring Rock festival band but certainly as carrying on with music in our lives. I mean it could turn into something different, it could turn into umm I don’t know. Our music could turn into runway musicals or… I don’t know, you know. The best part is you never know what’s going to happen. Fair enough, I suppose as long as you’re not mowing the lawn for the rest of your life, you’re good! No, I do that just for fun. Ha! So you’re in prison right now and calling one person to bail you out, who is it? Probably someone in my band because they’re my best friends, and they would be the first ones to show up with a bag of cash to get me out. With regards to that, Garbage is one of those groups that seem pretty unique - how did you get this mix of musicians together? Well, we had been friends with guys from other bands for a few years and I worked as a roadie for the bands they were in, and we played all over the mid-Western area of the States, and we also started a recording studio. We heard Shirley’s voice on MTV [and] we decided to make a record! How does that work? You hear a voice and decide you want to work with that person. Well you don’t know for sure if it’s gonna work out but it’s worth a try. It’s like when you wanna meet a person; you don’t know if it’s gonna work but you may as well try and meet them. I had that once! I wanted to meet Franz Ferdinand, but I still haven’t. Well we met them last summer at a festival. Cool! What were they like? Super quiet and super pleasant. But pleasant in a good way, not in the Justin Beiber way. AMAZING! Haha, thanks for that Steve, looking forward to hearing the new work, and do send our love to the rest of the band, and your beloved lawn!
By Lillie Almond
This Month At...
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Culprate ‘Jump up’ Drum & Bass sparked my interest in this career. I really loved Drum & Bass in the late 90s until the music coming out started to become a bit bland. Pink Floyd were true innovators, and one of my biggest musical influences. A perfect mix of sound design, musicality and intellectual spirituality. The Beatles have a similar appeal to me, but they bring a more palatable, or commercial aspect. I have learned that even if you make very obscure, experimental music, it never hurts to have something that people can latch on to. Squarepusher mixes Jazz with Electronica with such style - Genius! From my EP ‘Great Expedition’, ‘Two’ represents a big step up in terms of quality and musicality. I basically try to incorporate all of my influences into my music and I think I achieved that in this song. There is another track that means a lot to me, which I wrote years ago as a kind of “love token” to my Girl. Since then, it has grown on me every time I listen to it and I was compelled to remake it professionally. It’s currently unreleased, but will be on my next album. From the EP, ‘Reboot’ gets people moving, especially in Europe. While I’m in Australia I’ll be hitting the beach where possible and I’ll probably do the tourist thing. Max and I are planning on visiting some friends in Brisbane for the last week, looking forward to our trip! The next LP will be similar to ‘Colours’, maybe a bit darker.” Playing: Friday 5th July - Chinese Laundry
By Lucie Potter
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Yuksek Jean Michel Jarre, Kraftwerk, the keyboards from the Doors and early Hip-Hop for sampling were all big influences in my interest in Electronic music. I’m lucky with the collaborations I’ve done because every session went so well. Oh Land, JD Samson, The Magician, Juveniles and Brodinski are such nice people. If I could put together an underground collective, James Murphy, Soulwax, Animal Collective, Thomas Bangalter and The Sparks would be in my dream team. I’m going to release the first EP from Getaroom, two really talented French guys that have done incredible edits of French Pop from the 60s and 70s, they are amazing Disco and Electronic DJs and they’re going to make a crazy record! I’ve had amazing experiences at Splendour in the Grass, hope they’re going to book me again next year! Calvi on the Rocks is the coolest French festival too, but I’m playing mainly club shows this year. Chinese Laundry is so successful because the roof is low, the sound is huge and the temperature is indecent. For the rest of 2013, I’ve got many cool tunes in my box waiting to release on Partyfine, some great nights, maybe a new album (or at least a work in progress) and fun collaborations. Playing: Sunday, 21st July - Chinese Laundry, Sydney Friday 19th July, Elsewhere Bar, Surfers Paradise
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Guy J I was exposed to House music at the end of the 90s and the music was breathtaking. All the melodies were so original and I wanted to be part of this amazing world. The availability for music to be so emotional and still be able to dance to it first sparked my passion. My new ‘Balance’ compilation took around three months to make, I was looking for ideas that would be different and decided to go for a remix and edit mix cd. I used originals from amazing artists and gave them my touch. I’m lucky to be surrounded by amazing producers. This year, I’m looking forward to playing in Club Bahrain in Buenos Aires, there’s always magic in this club, every time I go I’m waiting to come back. In Chinese Laundry I’m going to play music from ‘Balance’ and some new originals and remixes I made recently, it’s been an inspiring year and I have a lot to share through music. There is a lot of great music coming from my label Lost & Found, which I can’t wait to play there. I also have family in Australia so will use the opportunity to spend time with them. The label is doing great, the music coming out is keeping on quality and originality. Until now, I had artists from different genres on the label like Kevin Yost , Secret Cinema, BP , Guy Mantzur and Sahar Z. Each is different but all keep on quality. I’m happy I have a way to present good music to this world. Navar is doing some amazing stuff lately and also Juan Deminicis, look out for their stuff. My career highlight is getting first request for a gig abroad and feeling like “I Made it”. Playing: Saturday 20th July Chinese Laundry, Sydney Friday 19th July, New Guernica, Melbourne
MUSIC NEWS
Top 10 Podcasts, Sets, and radio 1. Live Love & Trance
Music mix featuring the hottest Trance tracks of the moment. Mixed by Love Bug Music, a Californian EDM DJ since 1993 whose mantra is to live, love and dance! Available on iTunes www.lovebugmusic.com
2. Ben Noble
UK DJ, producer and remixer Ben Noble posts regular House music podcasts and crazy mixes, all of which are free! Tune in and turn up for the best in Disco and Progressive House. soundcloud.com/bennoble
3. Jaytech Music
Australian producer and DJ James Cayzer aka Jaytech regularly showcases the best in modern progressive EDM. The warm-up DJ of choice for stadiumfillers Above & Beyond, you can trust him to select the new sounds that we’ll all be grooving to. www.jaytechmusic.com
4. Manifest
Drum & Bass veteran Manifest has recorded for labels TOV Music, Renegade Hardware and Blackmarket Records, to name but a few. Gracing various club nights across the UK and Europe with his epic DJ skills, his podcasts are not to be missed! soundcloud.com/manifest
5. The Chamber Podcast
If it’s irresistible House music and propulsive, progressive production you’re after, Revolvr has it locked and loaded. As well as some truly incredible remixes, subscribe to The Chamber Podcast to hear the biggest tunes all in one place. Available on iTunes soundcloud.com/revolvr
6. Soundae’s Unlimited Music
Soundae promises to bring the best electronic music from around the world, and man, do they deliver! Subscribe for free and make the best Dance music a part of your life! Available on iTunes www.soundae-music.com
7. DJ Iron
Tune in to be served up classic recipes of terrific Hip-Hop cuts, beats and mixes, courtesy of Belgium-based DJ Iron. soundcloud.com/deejay-iron
8. Housology
Housology, hosted by Italian DJ and radio presenter Claudio Di Leo, plays only the freshest in Deep House, Tech House and Soulful House. www.mixcloud.com/housology
9. Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown
Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is an equal parts hilarious and anarchic show set in award-winning sketch team Pappy’s fictitious flat, with different comedian houseguests popping round each episode. Available on iTunes www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/flatshare_slamdown
10. Do The Right Thing
Live audience comedy panel show Do The Right Thing is hosted by Danielle Ward, with team captains Michael Legge and Margaret Cabourn-Smith. Guests join them each week to help work out what the right thing to do is in any given situation. Available on iTunes www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/dotherightthing
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The New Kids On The Block
As line-ups get finalised and headliners are announced, it signals the beginning of the hugely attended and massively anticipated festival season in the UK. Eager festival-goers and music lovers are in the stages of preparation, not only deciding what to take but who to see. And, with such extensive and varied line-ups in place at all major UK festivals, it can be difficult to know the who’s who of upcoming artists. BBMLive have trawled the line-ups and discovered some of the freshest talent that will most likely be winging their way to you during Australian festival season, so here’s to helping you get ahead when it comes to planning your festival must-sees and educating your ears with some new music! Bondax, appearing at Glastonbury and Bestival, have been gently bubbling below the music surface since 2010. Now burned into the minds of House lovers everywhere. It’s their trendy, bass laden tracks that set them somewhat above the rest, not to mention one of our favourite tracks of 2013 ‘Gold’. Similarly, Cashmere Cat, who can be found at Bestival later on this year, has been circulating the vast and varied Dance music scene for a while now. The Norwegian musician/DJ/ Producer has developed a buzzing reputation based on his melodic bassdriven beats and remixes, gaining him support from the likes of Rustie and Hudson Mohawke. The name might not be instantly recognised but the voice should be. Roses Gabor has collaborated with SBTRKT (on 2011’s ‘Pharaohs’ ) and she became a regular fixture in the Gorillaz line-up after appearing on their UK Number One track ‘Dare’. For fans of Katy B or AlunaGeorge, with a pinch of quirk, her Wireless and Isle Of Wight festival performances will ensure Roses makes a dent of her own in the industry and will most likely continue to pop up throughout the year. Appearing at The Secret Garden Party and FarmFestival UK is ‘Dreamfolk’s’ finest Mt. Wolf. The sensual sounds of Mt. Wolf - think a more euphoric London Grammar or Alt-J - are down to the relaxed, chilled vibe created by gentle synths and smooth guitars. Vocalist Kate Sproul delivers each line with a haunting tone, packing an overwhelming amount of emotion into each and every syllable. And there you have it, our festival digest of new acts to watch out for, and get listening to them now, so you’re well prepared for when the summer rolls back around! By Bryony Curtis
Single Reviews Pop/Rock
Electronic
Sharaya J - BANJI
Grouplove – Ways To Go
Deaf Kid – Vigilante
EWYC - ZANGWU
Dune – Shoestring
Washed Out – It Feels Right
Coasts – Wallow
Shapeshifter – In Colour
‘BANJI’ (Be. Authentic. Never. Jepardise. Individuality.) is a speaker-shaking, bass-thumping track from the rapper/choreographer Sharaya Howell, a.k.a Sharaya J. She’s worked with the likes of Missy Elliot and Timbaland, and we expect that you will be seeing a lot more of her over the coming months. Have a listen and try not to dance. You can’t can you? This laidback Hip-Hop track comes fresh from a group of talented young rappers who go by the name of ZANGWU (pronounced Zang Wu), and it’s an impressive DIY effort that houses some great creative flow. The beat rolls along limply, but it’s exactly that distinctive sound that will eventually set them apart from the crowd.
Only Real – Take It From Me
Only Real’s guitar-lead Hip-Hop encapsulates his cheeky song writing perfectly, but the feel of ‘Take It From Me’ does sound slightly different to normal, choosing to focus more on his beats and bass. His abilities to rhyme, however are certainly not up for debate. He has got both style and skill rolled up in one. Rep Real, folks!
‘Miley Cyrus Is A Cultural Icon.’ Discuss. (30 marks) From whence the achy breaky heart of Billy Ray Cyrus sowed his seed unto wife Tish, and they gave unto this baby the name of Destiny Hope Cyrus, a Hillbilly Hero was born. Though Billy Ray’s heart is considerably more achy and breaky after Tish filed for divorce on 13th June 2013 and Destiny Hope – tired of bullying and ‘Destiny’s Child’ jokes – legally changed her name in 2008 to the far more sensible Miley Ray, her hold on pop culture has never waned. Humbly starting out in small-time TV roles unworthy of such talent, Miley’s big break came when she was just 12 years old in 2006. Annihilating lesser child actors with her singing and thespian prowess, she landed the lead role in Disney Channel series Hannah Montana. When Miley was in ‘Hannah mode’, she donned a fetching blonde wig, but Miley’s clear genius shone
It’s time for Grouplove to unleash that potentially difficult second album upon us. After the critical acclaim of their debut, it was never going to be easy, but if these early indications are anything to go by, then they should be fine. ‘Ways To Go’ is a bittersweet, fun-loving Pop song. The melodies are infectious and you’ll be singing along in no time. Have fun! Dune is a Melbourne-based, multi-instrumentalist with a keen ear for writing catchy, complex pop songs. The self-produced sounds of ‘Shoestring’ eagerly bounce along to a concoction of noise that is utterly delightful to listen to. By the time this song fades away, you’ll be reaching for the rewind button. This follow-up single to the band’s debut, ‘Oceans’ falls short of our expectations this time around. It’s overly distorted chorus lacks a certain degree of finesse compared to their previous effort, but it’s still early days for these Bristol boys. There’s an EP on the horizon, let’s just hope it isn’t such a disappointment. through. Soon she was offered movie roles, deals in consumer products, such as Hannah Montana perfumes, and, naturally, record labels were falling at her feet. However, whilst her wealth and fame grew, the Miley products and albums we were sold were not that of the actual Miley Cyrus; Hannah Montana was no longer a role, but had begun to take over her life. Not only was she contracted to make music and endorse products that she had little say over, Miley was also forced, no doubt by Disney and various managers, to become an icon of sex abstinence. Wearing a purity ring that she flashed in every interview, and encouraging her/Hannah’s young fans to do the same, the deadness in her eyes revealed that proclamations like, “Purity is the state or quality of being pure. So that is what the ring represents,” simply failed to ring true. Fast-forward five years and, free from the shackles of a Disney contract and the millions of dollars a successful children’s television
London producers Christopher Lockington and Florian Sauvaire have worked with the likes of Ghostpoet in previous years, but now they’re here to entertain us with Deaf Kid. Their experimental beats and fuzz-filled bass keyboard noise is an exciting listen that successfully displays some innovative songwriting. This double-A side, ‘Vigilante/Horns’ is packed full of twists and turns. What’s not to love? The dreamy shoegaze sound of Washed Out is back with his brand new single ‘It Feels Right’. The hazy, lazy beat pushes along towards an abundance of reverb-laden synth-lines and pads, and it’s just the kind of music you’d like to wake up to every morning with the sun gently seeping in through your window. This euphoric new track from Shapeshifter is going to be an instant club classic. Smooth drums and thick bass mixed with a wealth of catchy lyrics all add up to a powerful performance that includes passion and talent. Turn this one up loud!! By Robert Bramhill franchise produces, Miley is back, playing the role she’s always wanted: Miley Cyrus. Now sporting a mostly shaved head, covered in tattoos, and regularly smoking (and advocating) marijuana, the All-American sweetheart, the Disney puppet of old is long gone. Miley is a fan of popular dance craze ‘twerking’, and frequently does her own interpretation of the move. In fact, the songwriters behind her latest single ‘We Can’t Stop’ have said that Miley specifically requested a song that’s, ‘urban, I just want something that feels black.’ In the single’s accompanying video, Miley can be seen in little apparel, touching herself suggestively, playfully spanking the derrières of her female cohorts, sporting gold ‘grillz’ and throwing up gang signs. The video is one she would never have been able to make under the iron clasp of Disney, so it is wonderful to see her finally able to express herself in the way she’s always wanted. Freed, emancipated, urbanised – Miley is finally the star her parents destined her to be.
By Esther Anyakwo
Urban
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MUSIC NEWS
Album Reviews Hook & The Twin – Never Ever Ever
Two-piece bands are this year’s ‘Must Have’. They seem to have sprung up all over the place, each one presenting the possibility of a unique genre opportunity, innovative idea or exciting new concept. And with this year also being the return of krautrock pioneers Kraftwerk, it was only a matter of time before a kraut-inspired duo came along to whet our apetite. Hook & The Twin have been making music together since they were teenagers, and with industry approval from the likes of Zane Lowe and Steve Lamacq, we’d like to know what all of the fuss is about. ‘Never Ever Ever’ is an interesting undertaking for two people to perform live, and might be an enjoyable experience to witness. But the band’s songwriting feels a little too awkward at times on record and it’s clear that their live sampling, looping and layering is perhaps the only reason people are taking note. The band’s single ‘Bang Bang Cherry’ has similar qualities to These New Puritans’ craft, but it’s difficult to decipher what they’re actually trying to achieve. Is it supposed to be experimental, or are those annoying ‘WHEEEEAA’ sounds meant to improve the track? The group seems to find their feet around about the time you get to ‘Love Your Own Way’. The penultimate track is a simple structure that builds and breaks throughout with the addition of some genuinely impressive vocal arrangements. It’s all a little too late though and ‘Never Ever Ever’ is an album with minimal appeal that, overall leaves you feeling a little hollow and unsatisfied.
Appollonia – fabric 70
Apollonia are the Parisian-based trio made up of Dan Ghenacia, Dyed Soundorom and Shonky, and together they have joined forces once more to bring us the next installment of the acclaimed fabric compilation series: fabric 70. The famous London nightclub has been showcasing the best electronic music for years, and this edition of the compilation gives you the perfect opportunity to own a piece of the action. Apollonia’s unmistakable energy has been applied to creating fabric 70, which was completed over an intense six-week lock down period in the trio’s Berlin studio earlier this year. The mix includes fresh cuts from the likes of The Mole on his new Maybe Tomorrow imprint, Dyed Soundorom’s buzzing re-rub of Daze Maxim’s ‘Farbfilm’ and new Apollonia releases from the boys themselves, made especially for this unique album. Each track bounces to the next with a startling attention to detail that can be felt within. The trio has managed to put across their own style of mixing on each track without slipping from the high level of production value.Elements of the record reach back to the late 90s with the atmospheric pads of Nail’s ‘I’ve Been There’ included from ‘97, the uplifting summery grooves of Mood 2 Swing feat. John Ciafone ‘Ohh’ from ‘96, and Callisto’s ‘Need Ur Love’, also from ‘97. It’s a diverse mix of top-notch tunes you’ll never want to turn off.
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Empire Of The Sun – Ice On The Dune
It has been almost five years since Empire Of The Sun appeared on the scene with their mangainspired costumes and glossy, cinematic Pop songs. The eagerly awaited second album is now ready to be unveiled and we’ve managed to have a cheeky listen. Instantly, it becomes apparent that the production found on ‘Ice On The Dune’ is impeccable. Every single audible note has been made to sound like a movie or videogame soundtrack. The intro song ‘Lux’ feels like we are gearing up for the next installment of the Zelda saga, and if you listen closely enough you might even hear the faint sound of a cat meowing..? The band’s approach to songwriting doesn’t appear to have changed much since their debut. They’ve still got that thumping, radio-friendly vibe about them that everyone loved in the first place. ‘Alive’ is bound to be a festival favourite for many listeners on this year’s circuit, and with an abundance of sing-a-long moments throughout, it promises to be the perfect soundtrack to summer. It’s similar to ‘Kids’ by MGMT. At times, you’ll feel like you’ve been transported back to the 80s as there’s a clear influence from the likes of Alphaville and Human League on numbers such as the title-track ‘Ice On The Dune’ and ‘I’ll Be Around’. But, overall you’ll quite simply enjoy yourself listening to this record. Empire Of The Sun have produced another guilty pleasure of an LP that is likely to receive a whole heap of radio airplay and festival slots. It’s harmless fun that will stand out from the other Pop bands. We say play on!
EP REVIEWS
Kins – Kins
Having swayed between several different genres over the last couple of years, it seems that Kins are finally ready to settle into their own skin. The band was started in Melbourne, but the group now resides in the sunny seaside town of Brighton, UK, and whilst there’s limited exposure to be found online, it’s this new collection of songs that have really caught our eye. Their tone is in a similar vein to the mighty Wild Beasts, but where they differ, they prevail. There’s a ‘less-is-more’ approach taken to the delicate songs, and ‘Pale Faced Fear’ is a stunning place to start. Its introduction is smothered in echo and gently builds to a glorious arrangement of rolling beats and smooth vocals. These guys have surely got a bright future ahead of them.
Snakadaktal – Sleep In The Water
Recorded in an old, abandoned horse stable throughout the start of the year, ‘Sleep In The Water’ is the follow-up, and first full-length after Snakadaktal’s much loved self-titled EP from 2011. The Aussie Dream-Pop band have since been growing from strength-to-strength, playing a number of high-profile gigs across the globe, and with a release date set for August, this album could well define their future. To put it in the most simple of terms, Snakadaktal sound delightful. Their new single ‘Ghost’ is a prime example of the band’s creativeness and is a perfect taster to the group’s absorbing flair. Trickling plucks of swirling guitar strings emanate around each song and fill moments of silence with a crisp sheen of musical enjoyment. ‘Hung On Tight’ rolls wonderfully amongst a blend of pads and picky guitars, whilst the intimate beat of ‘Too Soon’ gives the group an opportunity to open up and shows off an even more affectionate side. Over the course of the LP, Snakadaktal display a promising knack for writing songs that you’re almost guaranteed to enjoy. August may seem like a long way away, but your patience will be rewarded. By Robert Bramhill
Braids – In Kind // Amends
This four track EP from Montreal Art Rockers Braids is a striking example of originality as the three-piece have brought together a wide range of influences to create a unique and eclectic array of music. For those new to the group, introductions begin with ‘In Kind’. The most upbeat track on the EP, it’s filled with pulsing rhythms, progressing drums and an extraordinary assortment of vocals that conjure up the image of Bjork’s unwritten masterpiece. The EP then spans out into a much more chilled out affair that continues to showcase a brilliant grasp of the voice being used more as an instrument, rather than a leading hook line. Blips and clicks can
be heard throughout, and you’ll be lost in the soundscape for days trying to figure out where each noise is coming from. Braids have shown us exactly what they are capable of and we can’t wait to hear more.
FUNNY NEWS Peppa Pig In A Poke Some hackers think big when they target websites, like that Syrian group who hijack Western sites to make political statements, or the online group Lulzsec who slapped down News Corp and Sony. And at the other end of the spectrum, you have hackers who think very, very small – like last month when someone hacked into the Peppa Pig Facebook page and told all her child fans to “go to hell”. Not great for the kids but it made us laugh. “Unfortunately the Peppa Pig World Facebook page has been compromised,” a spokesman said. “We are looking into the situation a.s.a.p, please accept our apologies for any inconvenience caused.” Hilariously, Facebook did nothing about the hacker for several days as they could not prove he/she was not an official user. In the meantime, the hacker posted pictures of porn stars, the Teletubbies and offensive text exchanges – many of which received numerous ‘likes’.
Gymnast Exposes Naked Ambition They arrest people for just about anything these days, but BBM was still shocked to hear that a trained gymnast had been charged simply for the act of performing naked acrobatics at a public transport station and harassing passengers. Is it really so wrong to do handstands and contortions while grabbing the occasional passer-by in a headlock as your willy flaps about? Looks like we’ll have to find another hobby to fill our Friday afternoons.
Trying To Resolve An Ugly Situation Anyone who’s tried Internet dating knows the biggest peril involved is arranging to meet someone who looks hot and sexy in their photo, only to discover they look like a female Brian Blessed in the flesh. It’s a pain BBM is all too familiar with – if by the phrase “Internet dating” you actually mean “high-class brothels”. But who do you go to in such an event? The trades-description people? Well one shameless bloke in Solihull went one step further than that last month and called the police. Problem was, it wasn’t a dating website he was unhappy with – it was a prostitute. The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, bluntly told the working girl she was not the Pretty Woman he’d been hoping for when she turned up to meet him outside a hotel. When she responded by angrily grabbing his car keys, he reported her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act. Emergency operators listened as he bitterly complained she had misled him about her looks. “It was unbelievable,” said Sgt Jerome Moran. “He believed he had done nothing wrong and that the woman should have been investigated by police for misrepresentation.” In an unusual step, police released the tape of his initial call to ‘highlight regular abuse’ of the 999 number. In the recording, the man says the prostitute “got her knickers in a twist” when he backed out of their deal. He adds: “Beforehand I have asked for a description of her – give me an honest description otherwise when I get there I’m not going to use your services. She’s mis-described and misrepresented herself totally. She was angry – she thinks I owe her a living or something.” It’s hard to imagine why such a charming guy can only get women by paying for them.
Yeiner Alberto Perez Garizabalo, 24, was arrested after his naked antics were caught on camera at a Bay Area Rapid Transit District in San Francisco. “When asked to describe what he remembers in his own words, he describes being in a play where everyone was actors. (He) does not remember attacking anyone,” said Kristen Parks, who used to work with Yeiner in an acrobatic performance troupe. She added that the troupe believes he may be suffering from a psychological disorder. No shit.
Funniest/Dumbest Celeb Tweets Jim Carrey on Kickass 2, which of course, he stars in...
“I did Kickass a month b4 Sandy Hook and now in all good conscience I cannot support that level of violence. My apologies to e” “I meant to say my apologies to others involve with the film. I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart.” We think he should apologise for his punctuation and grammar.
Katie Price on her current day to day activity...
“Signings at Yeovil 1130 andTaunton at 3pm both at WHSmiths Wooo hooooo xx” She’s clearly leading the glittery and glamorous lifestyle she’s always dreamed of.
Harry Styles on life advice...
“Never make eye contact with anyone while eating a banana.” Erm, thanks for that Harry. Being the iconic sex symbols we are, we’ll bare that in mind.
Amanda Bynes on her favourite pastime... “I’m Waiting On My Next Surgery”
God only knows what she’s having done now, we’re going with either implants going in, or being removed. Hey, don’t ever say we sit on the fence!
Justin Bieber on his daily schooling...
“having an entire discussion today on when u can use the words “foxy, sexy, fox, cute, beautiful, fine, and sexy as #$%.” what do u think?” We think you should probably have avoided being a child star and stayed in school.
Got a funny story? Send it to editorial@bbmlive.com www.bbmlive.com 39
FUNNY NEWS Taking Down A Hard Problem
Going Up Miley Cyrus
We appreciate that she’s turned herself into a sexy adult, but she still needs to do some work on her music, and not make rubbish songs with Snoop Dogg. He old!
Michael Douglas BBM knows all too well the embarrassment involved in getting an erection at an inappropriate time. It happened to us once when we were in a police line-up for a stalking case involving Cheryl Cole (there’s something about knowing she’s behind the two-way mirror that just turns us on). And like all men, we learnt all the tricks involved in hiding a bride frightener at an early age. Whether it’s tucking it up under your belt, pretending to look for something in your bag on your lap or, our personal favourite, ducking behind the bushes in Cheryl Cole’s back garden. But, of course, there’s only so long you can get away with it and for 44-year-old Daniel Metzgar, from New Jersey, that was the problem. According to Metzgar, a botched penile implant he had in 2009 left him with an eight-month flesh rocket that wouldn’t go down.
His role in Behind The Candelabra (also know as that Liberace flick) has given us a new found respect for the old codger. Go Mikey, go Mikey, go!
Madonna
You gross old lady, stop having sex with babies, and cover up!
The truck driver is seeking unspecified damages after he was forced to wear baggy trousers and long shirts to hide the problem, a court heard. On the plus side, his wife hasn’t complained once in eight months. “I could hardly dance, with an erection poking my partner,” he told the court. “It’s not something you want to bring out at parties and show to friends.” Which, of course, depends entirely on the kind of parties you get invited too. We’re sure there are a few swingers in his neighbourhood who would be thrilled if he showed them.
Carey Mulligan
Has a face like a disgruntled pug, and she’s not sexy. Be gone from our screens.
Metzgar said he knew something was wrong when his scrotum swelled to the size of a volleyball but didn’t see his surgeon for another four months – presumably because his wife told him not to.
Wayne Rooney
Sex That’s Out Of This World
He just makes us feel a bit sick in general.
Ever wondered what Daily Mail columnists mean when they talk about the Loony Left? Well say hello to Labour politician Simon Parkes. Parkes sits on Whitby town council in North Yorkshire, works as a driving instructor – and says he’s fathered a child with an alien he regularly meets up with for space sex. Parkes says he is beamed up for the intergalactic affair four times a year by an alien he calls the Cat Queen and claims they have a child together called Zarka. Apparently, his wife’s not too happy about the extra-marital, extra-terrestrial shenanigans - but he says it’s not wrong as “it is not a human level”. “What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say ‘I’m ready’ and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth,” he said. “There are plenty of people in my position who don’t choose to come out and say it, because they are terrified it will destroy their careers.” Maybe his alien interactions have given him the power to see the future, because we suspect his career is about to be destroyed very soon.
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Kanye West
You cannot bring out an album called Yeezus, you frickin idiot. Jesus Christ! Plus, calling your daughter North West, someone must stop this man.
Tulisa
We’re not sure if she’s going to prison or not, for assisting on a drug deal, but we do hope so, as we don’t wish to ever see, hear or think about the Queen of Chavs.
Going Down
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SPORTS NEWS The Ashes...
Joke Getting Old About The Socceroos
We are on the horizon of the greatest rivalry in any sporting calendar, The Ashes. England are labelled as clear favourites, but don’t write the Aussies off too soon; born into a culture where losing isn’t accepted, the Australians will spare no resources in order to regain the Urn.
Is it just us, or does the theme tune to Dad’s Army play in your head whenever you watch the Socceroos on TV? The Aussie national team has more grey hairs on show than a werewolf Craig Foster (and with those eyebrows, we’re not convinced he ISN’T a werewolf).
After Australia’s debaucherous tour of India, they head into the Ashes with little form, but when it comes to the Ashes, form is secondary. They have selected well, and have finally selected a team to win a series, not to build for the future. The biggest surprise in their Squad comes in the form of 35 year-old Chris Rogers, Rogers who has amassed near on 20,000 first class runs but only played a solitary Test Match, a player unfortunate to have been around during Australia’s ‘Golden Age’. They will have to play him, as you don’t pick a 35-yearold to carry drinks! Familiar to English conditions, he can provide the stability at the top of the order that they have been lacking since Hayden and Langer hung up their baggy greens in 2007.
But shit SBS pundits with lycanthropy aside, we’re here to begrudgingly congratulate Holger Osieck’s team of geriatric world beaters after they – shockingly – came third in the race to qualify for next year’s World Cup (just behind Japan and hosts Brazil). They qualified in style, following a 1-0 HAMMERING of footballing giants Iraq. This, of course, came on the back of their 4-0 win over Jordan – who, just to give you an idea, probably play at a similar standard as the British boob-model who shares their name. So well done Socceroos, you’re not quite as shit as a country that’s been decimated by war for a decade, and another country with a name we usually associate with breasts. Huge, pendulous breasts.
England are unlikely to stretch outside their usual 13 man squad, their only main concern is the opening berth. Nick Compton has struggled in the recent series and with Kevin Pietersen’s likely return to the middle order, they will have to decide whether it’s time to move Joe Root up to face the new ball or stick with a guy who only three tests ago scored back to back hundreds in New Zealand.
“I think I speak for all the older guys on the squad - what better way to top off a long career than to play in a World Cup?“ said Socceroos skipper Lucas ‘they don’t like it up em’ Neill. “But we won’t be there just to make up the numbers. We are there to go further than we have before and to make it very memorable.”
Many see this series as a battle of the two fast bowling quartets, this is undoubtedly The Australians’ strength, with the likes of Starc and Pattinson providing pace and swing. And with Peter Siddle you know what you are getting, a whole hearted effort and someone who will run in all day and will do the hard yards for you - something Australia will need, given that they are lacking a quality spinner. The biggest contest in this series will be between the two captains, Cook V Clarke. Arguably the two best batsmen in the world at this current time and two men who have thrived, given the added responsibility of captaincy. Clarke has held together the Australian batting line-up since the retirement of his two senior partners, Ponting and Hussey, and he will need to carry on his form if Australia are going to win back the Urn. Cook had his most prolific series last time these two countries met, and if he can reproduce or better that amount of runs, it will be hard not to see him lifting the Urn at the Oval at the end of the summer. By Tom Crump
Red Devils Go Down Under
Manchester United are touring again this summer, and this time its Sydney, Bangkok and Hong Kong that will play host to the world-famous team. It’s like a bar crawl across the continents; which is a pretty big bar crawl with probably lots of booze on hand - and lots of grannies for Wayne Rooney. They will be visiting Sydney on Saturday 20th July to take on Australia’s very own A-League All Stars at the ANZ Stadium. The arrival of the champions of England is sure to gain a major interest from anyone who hates Wayne Rooney - mainly due to him being Wayne Rooney. But the players have all been looking forward to the world tour as it is only the fifth time the club has visited the country, and the first time the team has visited Oz since the treble winning team of 1999 in the same year. So the equivalents of the likes of Sheringham, Cole and Schmeichel will be Down Under for one game only in July.
Fair enough Lucas, but perhaps “memorable” isn’t the best word to use considering half the squad will have dementia by the time the World Cup rolls on. In Neill and Sasa Ognenovski, the Socceroos will have a centre-half pairing with a combined age of over 70 by the time Brazil comes around. In other words, Osieck could call up Dame Edna and Mumm-Ra the Ever Living and they’d still have a lower average age than the current team. In summary, the Socceroos may have more wrinkles than Yoda’s cock, but they’re still better than Scotland.
Villa’s Latest Transfer Newzzzzzz
The Premier League youth team XI, more commonly known as Aston Villa, have bolstered their bid to be marginally better than three other clubs next season by signing Rip Van Winkle. Van Winkle, more commonly known as Danish international footballer Jores Okore, signed a four-year deal with Villa last month. And he was so thrilled to be signing for the Midlands club that he fell asleep during his medical. our loyal and enthusiastic Australian fans.” Aw David, I bet you say that to all the nations that spend billions on marketing your team! The match kicks off at 7:30pm (AEDT Time) and 10:30am GMT. Ticket and tour information can be seen on the A-league All Stars page www.footballaustralia. com.au/aleagueallstars. So to all Manchester United fans, we hope you have a safe trip Down Under, and try not to get humiliated; and to all the Australian fans we hope you have a good game. And to Wayne Rooney, Oz has laws on over 70s sex. That’s right Wayne; I’ve still got more Granny digs for you!
The team will train in Sydney for six days before playing the A-League All Stars; which, funnily enough, may include our favourite footballer of all time; Emile Heskey. I think I’d pay any amount of money just to see that man not only playing football again, but attempt those famous step-overs again against Patrice Evra or Robin Van Persie. Australian football fans will get the chance to see the best players in their league take on one of the biggest teams in the world, in a match which is sure to be in demand in Sydney. Manchester United chief executive David Gill has been arse-licking Oz in the tour announcement, talking about their Oz fans, “There are three main reasons we go on a pre-season tour. First and foremost is the team’s preparation for the season ahead. But the tour also allows us to engage with our global fan base and network of commercial partners. It has been a while since we last visited Sydney and we are looking forward to renewing our relationship with
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By Jason Barr
“I just wanted to get the MRI scan done quickly. Boy, was I wrong. I was in the scanner and started a twohour session,” said the former FC Nordsjaelland star, who has seven caps. “I have to remain completely quiet. I’m listening to the radio and I’m wondering what it will be like. How will my new life in Birmingham be? Will I speak English with a British twang? But I dozed off after half an hour and woke up an hour later.” And the fun didn’t end there, with Okore thinking his MRI scan took a Buck Rogers-esque 10 years to complete – which is kind of funny because that’s how long Villa fans will have to wait before their team of pre-pubescent teenagers actually becomes decent. “I am still in the scanner thinking, ‘Oh, this is taking up a decade’,” said 20-year-old Okore. “I’m starting to feel a bit on edge and want to find out how my agent is getting on with negotiations. Fortunately the scan is all fine.” So there you have it folks, Paul Lambert’s plan to make Villa great again is to snap up as many young players as he can, put them in a scanner, freeze them for 10 years until they’re at their peak football age, and then unleash them on an unsuspecting Premier League. This would also explain why Villa’s boy defenders froze up so often in big games last season. We just thought they’d seen a girl from school they liked and got all shy.
Australia’s Ashes Chances Up In Smoke
BBM would like to be the first to congratulate England on their successful defence of the Ashes. With scandal-machine David Warner taking the latest controversy on the chin, Michael Clarke’s back cracking under the strain of carrying the team and Australia’s form as patchy as Shane Warne’s original hair, the Ashes series is as good as won. So three cheers for the boys! Hip hip huzzah! And well done to Cooky/Belly/Trotty/Broady/Andersony (delete as appropriate) for a truly stellar effort with the bat/ball/bat and ball (delete as appropriate). But let’s be honest, singing England’s praises isn’t half as much fun as kicking the Aussies when they’re down. For a while there we were starting to worry, especially after England made such hard work of polishing off New Zealand in back to back Test series’. But it doesn’t matter how badly England fare, the Aussies always manage to go one lower. It’s not nice laughing at other people’s misfortunes, but when Clarke crocked his back again we almost wept with joy. Warner’s subsequent implosion was the humorous icing on the comedy cake. But all is not lost for the Aussies, at least that’s what one-eyed fool Allan Border believes, claiming the current team can channel the spirit of the Australian 1989 side – who were also a bit a shit, but somehow won the Ashes. “We suffered the same thing in ‘89 and it was a great motivational tool for me and the senior guys to cut out these headlines that we were the worst team ever and post them around the dressing room,” Border said. “It was a good spur for a team that was an underdog and written off. It was not hard to motivate people under those circumstances.”
Sadly for Border, Australia are led by Clarke – a man to whom motivation means pissing off to the Taj Mahal with his wife while the rest of the side endure the worst tour of India in decades.
You Must Be Joe-king
Howay the lads, winter is coming, pet! Expect to see dragons flying over Tyneside any day now because it’s all going a bit Game of Thrones at St James’ Multinational Conglomerate Business Park ltd. The evil Mike Ashley still clings to power like a man-breasted boy-King, Alan “King of the North” Shearer is no closer to the throne (or to making an insightful comment on Match of the Day), and The Imp can still be seen lurking around like a poison dwarf (Dennis Wise). And just like viewers’ reactions to the infamous Red Wedding scene in Game of Thrones last month, Toon supporters were similarly horrified by the shock plot twist that Joe “F$%&ing” Kinnear had been appointed as the club’s new director of football. No doubt he plans on inviting all the Geordie journos who annoyed him last time he was in charge to a ‘friendly’ press conference – just so he can hack their skulls off and replace them with wolf heads. Just to remind you, in his first press conference during his last spell in charge, Kinnear called a Mirror journalist “A c—t” before adding: “Which one is Niall Hickman [Daily Express journalist]? You are out of order. Absolutely fucking out of order. If you do it again, I am telling you, you can fuck off and go to another ground. I will not come and stand for that fucking crap. No fucking way, lies. Fuck, you’re saying I turned up and they fucked off.” Kinnear tried to salvage the PR disaster that is his appointment by going on Talksport to set the record straight. Hilariously, it backfired spectacularly, with crazy-as-batshit Kinnear mispronouncing several player names including Hatem Ben Arfa (Ben Afrie), Shola Ameobi (Amanobi) and Yohan Cabaye (Yohan Kebab).
Paulo Pulls His Weight
All praise the Premier League Sky gods! After last season’s charisma-free campaign, the Lord on High has heard our prayers for a more bountiful year and blessed us with Ian Holloway, Joe Kinnear and Jose Mourinho. Which means even if the football is shit, journalists across the land can still prepare to gorge on a quote banquet. Hail the holy trinity! The special one, the foul-mouthed one, and the comedy-accent one. And in all the excitement, another headline-making machine at the helm of a Premier League club was almost forgotten just because he arrived at the party a little earlier than the others. Thankfully, Paulo Di Canio reminded us all of his presence this month by doing what he does best – being slightly unhinged. Apparently, he’s implemented a kind of “Biggest Loser” fining system for Sunderland players who have piled on the pounds over the post-season period. Basically, anyone who comes back 2kg overweight will pay for it – literally. “Obviously the players have a programme to follow so that they are ready when pre-season begins,” said the former Swindon boss.
“When we start, we will start not that heavy, but there will still be a great deal to do and they have to be ready. Everyone who comes back with more than 2kg over what their weight should be, we’re going to fine them. We test them before they go so everyone knows how they finished the season.” Thankfully, Andy Reid isn’t at the club any more or he would have been bankrupt. “I can imagine 2kg because you can run, swim and play tennis as well as having a bit of food or drink — so you can keep a handle on the situation,” he added. “You can accept 2kg because after a few days back sweating in five-a-sides that will soon go. But 5 or 6kg? That is not acceptable.” Now we know Di Canio has denied all those fascism rumours, but could this be his first step towards creating a kind of Sunderland-based super race? Next season, he’ll demand “blond-haired, blue-eyed players” only. After that it’ll be German lessons.
Are You Smarter Than A NineYear-Old?
Brendan Rodgers was sweating more than Sam Allardyce watching his side try to play a continental passing game this month, following an uncomfortable confrontation with a fan. Rodgers was made to squirm as he was probed about finances, Luis Suarez and Jamie Carragher’s retirement – by a primary school student called Finn. The interview was arranged by the club as part of its “Kop Kids” series, but it proved tougher than ruffled Rodgers expected and he was forced to give a series of diplomatic non-answers. In true journalistic shark-style, the nine-year-old softened him up with an easy one to start with – is being Liverpool manager the best job ever? “Yes, it’s a brilliant job,” smiled Rodgers. “I’m very lucky to manage the club and work with great players and obviously speak with lots of great supporters.” That’s when baby-faced Finn turned into a snarling mini-Paxman. Questions like ‘who is your favourite player in the squad?’ and ‘who’s the naughtiest player at Liverpool?’ proved particularly tricky – the answers being “I have to love them all” and a very curt “Luis Suarez.” Rodgers was also, surprisingly, baffled by the question: “How would you spend £5?” He didn’t seem to have an answer, despite much deliberation. In the end, he copped out by saying: “I’d save it, knowing me.” Interesting stuff from a man who has splashed out millions on transfers in recent months, including a fair few quid on Joe Allen. God knows what would have happened if Finn had probed him about his son’s sexual assault allegations, or what he thought of Kenny Dalglish spending half-a-billion, trillion pounds on Andy Carroll. By the sound of it, even “what’s your favourite colour?” would have been a stumper.
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CRYSTAL BALLS
Horoscopes Libra
I’d keep an eye on Leo if I were you. Crazy son of a bitch thinks his girlfriend’s an alien. Looks like his schizophrenia’s back. He was doing so well too.
Virgo
Capricorn
You finally take the plunge and get on stage for an open-mic night at your local comedy club. It’s a brave move. Capricorns are known for their stability, maturity, calmness and ability to work on computers. Unfortunately, they’re not known for their sense of humour. Your act goes down so badly that you are physically assaulted midway through the gig by several irate members of the audience following a particularly bad “knock knock” joke. Leave the gags to Leo next time. That guy/gal cracks us up!
Taurus
Your rampant egomania reaches new heights this month when you try to have sex with your own reflection in the TV. You’ve sunk so low you don’t even bother wiping the sexjuice off for several days. The sight of it dripping down the screen during an especially poor episode of 7th Heaven is a very disturbing image.
Scorpio
It’s true what they say – gambling is a mug’s game. Your run of bad luck continues at Randwick Races this month. Not only do you lose $200 on the horses, you’re also mauled by a grizzly bear on the way home. Ironically, you would have got brilliant odds on that happening.
Pisces
Sorry Pisces, I could do your horoscope but I need a massive dump. Crystal’s bowels take precedence dear.
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Gemini
Think of any number below 10. Double it, add six to it, then divide the result by two. Then take away the number you originally thought of. Using my amazing powers, I guess that the number you now have is… three. Ta-dah! Now if that doesn’t prove I’ve got the power to see the future I don’t know what does. Think about that the next time you tell your mate “that old slapper in BBM doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. Cynical prick.
Leo
You’ve noticed your partner has been a bit cold and distant lately. You’re right to be suspicious. Two weeks ago she was kidnapped by aliens and replaced with an android whose mission is to spy on humanity. If you don’t believe us, there’s a way to test her. The android’s inner-wiring doesn’t react well with water, so next time she’s asleep/recharging, fill a bucket full of water and chuck it over her. If she reacts badly, perhaps yelling a few obscenities, then she’s clearly an android. I’ll give you more information on how to deal with the alien menace in next month’s Crystal Balls. Until then, keep watching the skies!
Sagittarius
Expect a call from Cricket Australia this month. They’re so short of decent batsmen, they’re literally calling everyone in the country to give them a trial.
Aries
Aries rhymes with fairies. You do the math!
After a particularly heavy night on the sauce, you and a friend decide to break into Taronga Zoo. One thing leads to another and, before you know it, you’ve tranquilised and kidnapped a grizzly bear. You convince a taxi driver it’s just a friend in a bear costume who’s dead drunk, but halfway home the beast wakes up and you kick it out of the car somewhere around Randwick. Thankfully, you manage to get the ring-tailed lemur hidden in your pants all the way home.
Aquarius
“I’m never gonna dance again, guilty feet have got no rhythm.” So crooned George Michael on Wham! hit ‘Careless Whisper’. How prophetic those words are for you this month, when your girlfriend finds out you shagged her best friend and runs you over in her car, leaving you paralysed from the waist down.
Cancer
What? James Gandolfini’s dead? When did this happen? I didn’t see that coming. Sorry Cancer, no horoscope for you this month, I’m in mourning for one of the most sensitive lovers I ever had. Oh no wait, that’s not him – that’s the guy from The Sopranos. Who am I thinking of then? Oh that’s right, it was Ray Winstone – which would explain why he kept yelling “who’s the facking daddy!” when he shagged me up the wrong ‘un. Such a tender lover.
ASK CRYSTAL & JOKES
Ask Crystal Dear Crystal, I’ve never had much luck with guys but a month ago I met a wonderful man through an internet dating site. I’ve been hurt before so I was taking things slow, but we’ve been on a few great dates since and I was on the verge of taking things to the next level. That was until I watched telly one night and saw him on Embarrassing Bodies. I don’t want to go into too much detail about what was wrong with him. All I’ll say is it was in a sensitive area and it looked like an old shrivelled turnip with snotlooking pus coming out. Now I don’t know what to do. He’s a great guy, and it might have been cured, but the thought of that rotten turnip being planted in my vegetable patch turns my stomach. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I don’t want anything to do with THAT either. What should I do? Yours, Jodie Dear Jodie, That’s a tricky one. On the one hand, it’s tough finding a good bloke these days. On the other hand, you don’t want that diseased love truncheon coming anywhere near your junk. It comes down to one question – does he still have Frankenstein’s cock? Luckily for you, I know just the man to help. I met him at Central Station when I caught him trying to secretly take a photo up my skirt as I came
down an escalator. Naturally I was flattered, and we were soon back at his place banging away. Afterwards, as I wiped myself down, he showed me the hundreds of upskirt photos he’d taken over the years, and even let me look at some of the hiddenwebcam footage he’d gotten from various public toilets across the city. He’s a master voyeur, and if anyone can help you find out what shit’s going down in your bloke’s trouser department before you get to the bedroom, he’s the man. Get in touch at his email address – upskirtfetishfucker@gmail.com. Dear Crystal, I need to catch a train from Kings Cross to Rhodes that arrives before 4pm. What time should I set off and do I need to change trains? Yours, Richard Dear Richard, Catch the 3.24pm train at Kings Cross, get off at Town Hall and get the 3.29pm train to Epping on platform two. That should get you into Rhodes at 3.56pm. Dear Crystal, I need some advice on my best mate. We’ve been
friends for 8 years, we play rugby together, drink together and I even ask for his approval on girls I want to date. But the other night, we were having a few bevvies round mine before a night out and I caught him in my bedroom sniffing a pair of my boxers. I acted like I didn’t notice, but later on he got really drunk and put his hand on my leg in the taxi home. I’ve always known him to be straight so now I’m freaking out: does he fancy me? Yours, Karl Dear Karl, Get over yourself. There’s nothing wrong with being a bit touchy-feely with your friends, or having a quick whiff of their underpants from time to time. Maybe he’s smelt something off when he’s around you, so he’s checking that you’re clean. I did the same with my Gert just last week after smelling rotten fish everywhere I went. Turns out it was just me. Just be grateful he’s stuck with you. Dear Crystal, I think you’re hot, fancy a smooch and a quick how’s your father sometime? Oh shit, hang on I hit the absynth again, that’s a mirror ball, not a crystal ball. Balls.
Jokes What’s black got three holes and always has a cock in it? An EDL balaclava. Jake, Elizabeth
We discovered that, when I’m in a good mood, it turns green and, when I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big frigging red mark on her forehead. Sean, Townsville
Anna, 6 years old, gets home from school. She just had her first sex education lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “ How did it go?” “I died of shame!” She answers. “Why?” her Mother asked. Anna said, “Karen from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Peter in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.” Her mother replies laughing, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed!” “No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!” Dan, Surry Hills
Zebo, a half blind five year old South African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of 2 dollars and we’ll send you the video, it’s bloody hilarious.... Frank, Darwin
In an attempt to improve safety on our roads, police have been given powers to fine people for A. Middle lane hogging, and B. Tailgating. I think it’s great. Now they just need powers to fine people if they don’t A. Hurry the fuck up, and B. Get the fuck out of the way. James, Canberra Why are women like clouds? Eventually they piss off and it becomes a really nice day! Paul, Toowoomba My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood rings so she could monitor my mood.
News agencies report that Syrians are flooding into Jordan. I thought she was still working her way through the population of Essex. Greg, Newcastle Tulisa took the ‘Share Coke With Friends’ campaign a little too seriously... Rob, Sydney A dick has a sad life. His hair’s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour’s an asshole, his best friend’s a pussy, and his owner beats him. Victor, Rockhampton
His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No” said Little Johhny. “Then you’re not old enough.” his grandpa replied. The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, “Can I have some of your cookies?” Little Johnny replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” His grandpa replied, “It most certainly can!” And Little Johnny replied, “Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!” Harry, Darlinghurst My next door neighbour knocked on my door wearing just a see through negligee, asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then asked to come in for a cup of coffee. I said “Fuck off Dave, I’ve got to go to work.” Phil, Surry Hills If I had to choke Nigella Lawson, I wouldn’t choose my hands to do it with. Charlie, Chelsea
One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes. Little Johnny asked, “Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?” His grandpa replied, “Can your penis reach your asshole?” “No”, said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, “Then you’re not old enough.” The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, “Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?”
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TRAVEL NEW ZEALAND & FIJI
Things to do in New Zealand
SKYDIVING
Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com
RAFTING
RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz
JET BOATING Shotover Jet
The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.
Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com
Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz
Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.
river boarding
Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz
ACCOMMODATION Christchurch
City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz
BAY OF ISLANDS
Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz
Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
Queenstown
auckland
Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad
Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.
Franz Josef Glacier Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.
wellington
Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.
Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
Fiji ACCOMMODATION
THINGS TO DO
BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com
ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com
THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com
THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com
SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport. Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com
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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj
Skydiving
SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’
Scuba Diving
SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com
TRAVEL AUSTRALIA
Things to do in Australia Skydiving
SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer! SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings
Scuba Diving Australia
NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au
Adventure Tours
GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com Bunyip Tours 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au
Kite Surfing
KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au
SURF SCHOOLS
MojoSurf 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURFT TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters
PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au
Bike Riding Tours
ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au
Zorb Balls
OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball. Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au
Wine and Beer Tours
PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com
HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com
ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au
Strike Bowling Nationwide Ph: 1300 787 453 www.strikebowling.com.au
KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com
Paddo Bowls 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02 9363 1150 www.paddobowls.com.au
ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au JET SKI SAFARIS Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au
Bowling
transport
Mighty Campers Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au Great Southern Rail Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au Travelers Autobarn Nationwide Ph: 1800 674 374 www. travellers-autobarn.com.au
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ACCOMMODATION LISTINGS New South Wales Sydney
World Square Hostel 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au Sydney Backpackers 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com Clovelly Hotel 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au Criterion Hotel 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au Jolly Swagman Backpackers Hostel 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au Bondi Backpackers 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au Oxford Court Accommodation Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers. Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests. The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com City Resort Hostel 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off! (Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)
The George Street Hotel 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Lord Wolseley Hotel 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au
Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms. 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au The Royal Hotel 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au Kanga House backpackers 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au
Sydney Northern Beaches
Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year. Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire
Sydneys Southern Beaches
Cronulla Beach YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au
PORT STEPHENS
Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au Hunter Valley Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au
Katoomba
Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!
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Byron Bay
Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey
Nambucca Heads
Nambucca Backpackers 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 info@nambuccabackpackers.com.au www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au
Lake Tabourie
Lake Tabourie Tourist Park Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie
Queensland Brisbane
Tinbilly Travellers 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 44 66 46 reservations@tinbilly.com www.tinbilly.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind. Minimum 2 week stay Base QLD Backpackers 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au
Goldcoast
Trekkers Backpackers 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au
Surfers Paradise YHA at Main Beach Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surf N Sun Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com
ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393
res@islander.com.au
www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Sleeping Inn Surfers 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au Coolangatta Sands Hostel Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au Surfers Paradise Backpackers rsrt Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au
Noosa
Nomads Noosa 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com
Hervey Bay
Nomads Hervey 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com
TOWN OF 1770
(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) Cool Bananas 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 Southern Cross (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com
1770 Beachside Backpackers 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au
Cairns
CAirns Share House 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com Gilligans backpackers hotel & resort 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.) Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com
Mission Beach
Absolute Backpackers 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au Scotty’s Beach House 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au
Whitsundays
Barefoot Lodge Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
Airlie Beach
Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/Whitsunday Village Travel 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au
cape tribulation
PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Ferntree Rainforest Lodge Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
rainbow beach
Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!
Western Australia scarborough
western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com
COTTESLOE
YMCA Accommodation Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au Underground Backpackers 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au Billabong Resort 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Globe Backpackers 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au The Old Swan Barracks 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com
monkey mia
ocean beach backpackers Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com
Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au
Perth
Kununurra
Rainbow Lodge 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au One World Backpackers 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au Mountway Holiday Apartments 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au Britannia on William 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com
Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au
broome
Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au
Victoria Mildura
redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704
Great Ocean Road
Johanna Beach Cottages 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com
Halls Gap
Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.
Melbourne
Easystay Motel and Studio Apartments Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 Exford Hotel 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au Back of Chapel 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com Nomads All Nations 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad Flinders Station Hotel Backpackers 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only). Melbourne International Backpackers 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au Hotel Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au
Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall. com.au
St. Kilda
alice springs
Jackson Apartments 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply
Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au
South Australia Adelaide
Apollo Bay
Apollo Bay Backpackers Lodge 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au Eco Beach YHA Eco-Hostel 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.
Halls Gap
Grampians YHA Eco-Hostel Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos
Northern Territory Darwin
Ashton lodge & Wisdom Bar 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com
Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au Majestic Minima Hotel 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com Adelaide Shakespeare International 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au
SAVE MONEY & PAY NO COMMISSION BY BOOKING DIRECT ON ALL YOUR TRAVEL ACCOMMODATION & ACTIVITIES! TO LIST YOUR BUSINESS CALL or EMAIL BBM NOW
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RECRUITMENT NEWS
How To Get The Most Out Of Tax Back Everyone hates the Tax Man, but he’s not all bad! This month we talk you through how to get the most out of getting your money back where it’s due!
Anyone who has settled in a big city in Australia will know that, while the sunshine comes free, pretty much everything else comes with a hefty price-tag. Indeed, according to Forbes’ latest survey, Sydney is the third most expensive city in the world, with Melbourne ranking in fifth. While the wages may fare better than in the UK, the tax rates do not help. The good news is that you can claim your tax back either before you leave the country, or at the end of the financial year which is June 30th, whichever happens first. In Australia, tax rates range from between 13 to 29% depending on the type of work and how long you spend in the country. If you are a temporary worker, then this amount will show up on your wage slip and accumulates on a weekly basis. This amount is then forwarded to the Australian Tax Office (ATO) by your employer. Now you know where it goes. But how do you apply to get it back? As with most things in life you have a choice: the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is letting someone else do it. Taxback.com.au files over 20,000 Australian tax refunds every year, and is a godsend to all lazy, time deficient backpackers and foreign students. Even if you simply want a quote of how much you are due, they offer a free tax calculator for an instant estimation. They also operate on a no refund, no fee basis meaning all you have to do is register and fill in their tax pack then wait. If you expect a higher tax refund and do not mind paying for a bit extra for peace of mind, then there is TaxRefund4Travellers. They offer a low, fixed fee service and are equipped with an Australian chartered accountant so you can expect your refund to appear promptly. The second way is to fill in the forms yourself, but this is not as convoluted as you may think. The ATO has provided a service called Etax which can be completed online if you have all the information at hand, and should take under an hour. However, as with most things in life, it is probably best to leave it up to an expert. Of course, you will need to provide some information, so keep a hold of your wage-slips and most importantly your PAYG (Pay As You Go payment
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summary). With this paperwork, you can lodge a tax return with the ATO to show your earnings and how much tax you paid in the financial year. That leaves the ATO to do their thing of calculating your refund before it is returned to your filthy mitts.
expense that you are due. These are costs that have been made while performing your job, so make sure you keep those receipts or you have some sort of a written record - even something like a log book can be used as proof.
If you do decide on letting a tax refund company deal with your taxback, then do choose wisely as there are plenty around. The first thing you should check is whether they are a Registered Chartered Accountant in Australia, as you would be surprised how many simply are not registered and could leave you shortchanged.
The expenses you can claim fall under several categories. One is Clothing, so that includes a specific uniform or if much dry cleaning was required as part of your job. If you are a manual labourer, this can mean the high-vis vest or the protective jacket you wear on a daily basis, or those boots you bought to work on a building site - it all counts. Travel can also be refunded, but do remember that this is the vehicle you use between jobs while at work and does not include your daily commute. If you travel for work, you may also be able to claim for meals and accommodation.
The next thing you should check is the fee you would be paying. Be highly suspect of percentage fees and, when in doubt, use a company that offers a flat fee that you are happy with which is usually around $100. Also, check in advance for hidden fees as some charge admin fees and even a fee to transfer the funds into your account. In some cases, you may actually owe the tax office usually because you have left before spending six months in the country, or because you have been taxed on an incorrect rate. If this may be the case, then stick with a company that offers a no refund, no fee service as some companies will charge you for the service even if you end up owing the ATO. Now be realistic: chances are you will not receive every single cent you are due as there are various factors that determine the amount. The first is the length of time you have spent in the country. If you have been in Australia for over six months, you are classed as a resident for tax purposes, so make sure you tick the box when filling in job and tax-related forms. Secondly, there are your gross earnings to consider - and the higher they are, the higher the amount of tax you have paid, and the higher the amount you should be entitled to. The final factor is the rate of tax you have been paying if any at all - so check with your employer first. Each refund is different and calculated on an individual basis. Whether you get the maximum amount is largely down to ensuring that you send the correct documentation, and that you receive every single
The time it takes for you to receive your tax refund also depends on a few factors. Namely, if you had provided all the documentation at the time of your claim, if you put the claim in during the tax year and finally, how fast your agent can work. Generally, if you provided all the relevant documentation and you are not claiming in the middle of a tax year, then you should expect to wait around 3-4 weeks. If for whatever reason you have to leave Australia then do not fear, you can claim from overseas. There is such a thing as the Internet and with most traveller refund companies offering an online application system, it is pretty easy to submit a claim while back at home. Again, even if you close your Australian bank account before your refund arrives, most agents can deposit the refund into an overseas bank account. But current exchange rates will apply and you will have to pay the transfer fee, which is usually around $30. Whilst that feeling of being shortchanged may be all too familiar, the end of June suddenly feels like Christmas with the anticipation of a four figure bonus from the ATO. Be careful how you arrange your taxback to ensure you receive the full amount and, if in doubt, go to someone you can trust. After that, just think about what you can do with all that extra cash. By Omar Soliman
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BBM TRIVIA
Crossword
Across:
Just to make sure you’ve read and digested the whole entire magazine, we’ve put together this crossword to put your knowledge to the test. Prove you’ve been paying attention with the clues provided...
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5. Name Australia’s oldest state (3,5,5) 7. Name a Sicilian Island (11) 9. Where would you find the longest straight road in the world (9,5) 11. The name of the Goo Goo Dolls album released in 2013 (8) 12. The name of Garbage’s front woman (7,6) 13. The location of the largest tramway system in Australia (9) 14. The capital of Japan (5)
Down: 1. Name the largest lake in Australia (4,4) 2. Australia’s most popular wine region (6,5) 3. A popular snowboarding location (8,6) 4. A Beach you can ride camels on (5,5) 6. One of the best places to see fur seals in the wild (8,6) 8. Name one animal found on the Australian Coat of Arms (3) 10. The city where the Cricket World Cup will be held in 2015 (6)
Answers can be found on our competitions page www.bbmlive.com/competitions.html or facebook.com/bbmmagazine
Pub Quiz Knowledge If you’re into pub quizzes then you’ll be pleased with this list of useless facts that you think you don’t need to know, as you’ll never know when that pointless bit of information you’ve retained will come in handy... In Star Trek, Spok’s blood is green.
anywhere else in the world.
Robin, the other half of Batman and Robin, is actually called Dick Grayson.
One in four million babies is born with a full set of teeth.
Hitting something until it works is called percussive maintenance.
Barbie has had more than 130 different careers since she was first introduced in 1959.
Christopher Cockerill invented the hovercraft in 1955.
Blood sucking hookworms inhabit 700 million people worldwide.
Kate Upton’s great-grandfather washing machine.
The Siberian Tiger is the largest species of Tiger.
Naked mole rats are completely immune to cancer.
George C. Scott was the first actor to refuse an Oscar.
William Shakespeare was the first non-royal to appear on a UK postage stamp.
A species of horse fly was named Beyonce because of its big golden butt.
Ugli Fruit is the name given to a cross fruit of tangerines and grapefruits.
A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a four-foot tall child inside.
Rene Descartes said ‘I Think Therefore I Am’.
About once every two weeks, someone commits suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge, more than
Due to the popularity gained by the use of Homer Simpson, “D’oh” has been added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Although perceived as cute, when a female kangaroo is menstruating, she will literally shred any animal with her bladed hind legs.
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invented
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SYDNEY
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The Metro
ticketek.com.au
BRISBANE MELBOURNE
Album out now
PERTH
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thehifi.com.au
oztix.com.au
oztix.com.au
Hi Fi
Billboard
Metro City