BBM JULY ISSUE 782

EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby SUB EDITOR Charlotte Mellor CONTRIBUTORS Omar Soliman, Sophie Saint, Chelsea Forsyth, Isaac Tesfamariam, Alana Anderson, Arti Rajput Sarah Thelen, Stephanie Cross, Naomi Finniss WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber DESIGN Basil Thomas design@what-media.com Michael Cusack James Edwards PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir tom.shakir@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 James Edwards promotions@what-media.com Joe Smith marketing2@what-media.com ACCOUNT ADMIN Rahim Noruzi CLASSIFIEDS & LISTINGS info@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 PRINTED BY SPOTPRESS NOTE TO ADVERTISERS Gaining the approval for the use of trademarks and images in advertisments is the responsibility of the advertiser and not What Media Pty Ltd. Advertising material is accepted in good faith and What Media Pty Ltd bears no responsibility for any claims or errors. Copyright of original material is held by What Media Pty Ltd. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden except with written permission of the publishers.

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CONTENTS

28

Australia’s Deadliest Critters

We take a look at the deadliest creatures in Australia that you need to look out for.

North West Festival

TRAVEL

This month is jam-packed with adventures to be had across Australia, from the East coast to the West coast. Venturing further afield, this month BBM also took a couple of days out to visit Basel in Switzerland, as well as enjoying a weekend away in Byron Bay. Pages 22 - 27.

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Getting Started in Sydney 14

World Cup Bar GUIDE 8-10 4

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Interviews

Jillionaire - 30 Duke Dumont - 31 The Acid - 32 UB40 - 33

Permanent Visas Up For Grabs We explore the fast track ways you can get yourself a permanent visa in Australia, and explain the Skilled Occupational List.

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festival

Back for 2014, North West Festival is set to light up Port Hedland once again, but this year will see an exciting new change. For the first time in its history, North West will take place across an entire weekend from 22nd – 24th August, resulting in more acts and more fun. Beckoning those from the south to escape winter and head north to the rich Pilbara region for temperatures exceeding 28 degrees, this is a festival experience many

others cannot replicate.

Entertaining ticketholders this year are groups and artists from all genres. Iconic Rock comes from the likes of America’s The Dandy Warhols and Australia’s very own Wolfmother, Art vs Science will be hitting the stage with Electronic Dance and Hip-Hop comes courtesy of Hermitude and solo artist, Illy. Female singer-songwriter, Missy Higgins, will be dazzling us with her Indie acoustic sound, as will five-piece, Ball Park Music. With mostly internationally recognised and deserving Australian acts to the stage, North West brings the talent to you beside food stalls, arts and crafts and a fully-stocked bar.

The expansive area that is dedicated to North West means that camping is an easy option for accommodation. The campground allows you to pitch up your tent next to your vehicle, while a separate area will put up campervans and

caravans. Camping is also free with your ticket (except Friday only and Sunday only day tickets), and while you can bring food in with you, BYO alcohol is strictly a no-no, but the bar in the festival should suffice. If you want a little more luxury, festivalgoers can stay at Cooke Point Holiday Park for the duration of the event with a 30% discount between 21st and 25th August with a minimum stay of two nights. Be aware that accommodation in Port Hedland is generally tight, so book early or get your camping gear for a night under the stars!

To close the weekend, an afternoon of music will take place at Port Hedland Civic Centre Gardens.

Sunday Sundowner sees Dustin Tebbutt, Thelma Plum and local artists from 4pm – 9pm on 24th August to round off what is expected to be an epic weekend.

The beautiful setting of Port Hedland in the outback Pilbara region may seem out of reach for anyone residing in Sydney, Melbourne or Brisbane, but there are regional flights from all airports to Port Hedland International Airport, with buses and taxis available to get you the rest of the way.

The festival is also the perfect excuse to explore a different area of Australia, with a strong mining history, cultural museums and a short drive to the most spectacular landscape in the country, if not the world, of Pilbara and The Kimberley.

NORTH WEST F North West Festival is back this year, and with it comes a fantastic line-up. Venture to this unspoilt part of Australia for a festival experience you’ll never forget.

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After you’ve come all this way for North West Festival, chances are you’ll want to see more of Australia’s great west, so clue yourself up with our guide on the best places to go from Port Hedland.

Dampier

A three-hour drive from Port Hedland, Dampier is an idyllic port town with a shipping and exporting history so strong, there’s even a tour at the Pilbara Iron Port to learn the secrets of crushing, stockpiling and loading. Most importantly, Dampier is the gateway to the Dampier Archipelago, a spectacular collection of 42 stunning islands lying just off of the coast. Take a cruise out to one of these protected islets and enjoy swimming and snorkeling in pristine blue waters or lie on the white sands and sunbathe to your heart’s content.

Millstream Chichester National Park

Surrounded by the dry and desolate outback is Millstream Chichester National Park, a utopia of small crystal clear pools, deep gorges and the relaxing Fortescue River contrasting the red rock the Pilbara region is famous for. Located south-west of Port Hedland via both main and off roads, camp beneath the stars at Crossing Pool or Deep Reach, and then embark on a hiking trail to Pyramid Hill. Between July and September, a carpet of wildflowers smothers the ground following the wet season, making it a perfect escape after North West Festival.

Broome

To discover one of Western Australia’s most famous towns, book a few days in Broome. Just inside the Kimberley region, this precious pearling town is home to the beautiful Cable Beach where you can enjoy the unique experience of riding on the back of a camel during sunset, and is the premier spot to view

the astounding Staircase To The Moon. If you’re a fan of the movies, why not catch a film at the world’s oldest outdoor cinema, Sun Pictures? With plenty of accommodation and just under an hour’s flight from Port Hedland, this might be your only chance to visit.

Port Hedland

North West Festival’s location is in fact full of things to see and do that you needn’t travel too far, as Port Hedland itself is a wanderer’s playground.

Follow the Cultural and Heritage Trail and learn about the port’s history, or head out onto Koombana Lookout for incredible views. Pretty Pool and Six Mile Creek are perfect for cooling off without stepping foot in the ocean, and stroll along Eighty Mile Beach for shell collecting, fishing, camping and the unbeatable feeling of sand between your toes.

ESTIVAL 2014 The Line-Up We give the rundown of the acts you’ll be watching at North West Festival, 22nd – 24th August 2014.

The Dandy Warhols

An American Rock band formed in 1994, The Dandy Warhols have released eight studio albums and one live album. A play on the name of artist, Andy Warhol, they garnered critical and commercial success following the release of ‘Bohemian Like You’, the second single from their third album, ‘Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia’.

A mix of Neo-Psychedelia, Pop and Rock, they formed their own label, Beat The World Records, in 2008, and release their own music on it, as well as others, to this day.

Wolfmother

Currently consisting of Andrew Stockdale, Ian Peres and Vin Steele, Wolfmother are Australia’s number one Rock band with worldwide success.

Having released their third studio album, ‘New Crown’, back in March, the boys are officially back and ready to show off their sound at North West.

Despite line-up changes and a temporary split, Wolfmother continue to own the stage wherever they play, including SXSW, Download and Reading & Leeds, and have performed alongside AC/DC, Aerosmith and Pearl Jam.

Art vs. Science

Bringing Electronic Dance to North West Festival is Art vs. Science, a group of three boys from Sydney that were a hit from the get-go. Forming in 2008, the band won a gig at Splendour In The Grass 2009 and their 2011 debut album peaked at number two in the ARIA Album Chart. They achieved UK success following tours supporting La Roux and Groove Armada. With a mix of Pop, French Electro and Indie, tracks such as ‘Parlez Vous Francais?’ and ‘Magic Fountain’, are set to make the crowd go wild.

Missy Higgins

Melbournian singer-songwriter, Missy Higgins, is Australia’s sweetheart with number one albums ‘The Sound Of White’, ‘On A Clear Night’ and ‘The Ol’ Razzle Dazzle’, despite her dislike for “celebrity”. An amazing talent inspired by Rufus Wainwright, Sarah McLachlan and Sigur Ros, Higgins often travels the country she was born in, and refuses to be labeled as a Pop star. Her strong voice paired with a number of instruments including piano, guitar and xylophone, makes for a hypnotic watch on stage.

Hermitude

Angus Stuart ad Luke Dubber are better known as El Gusto and Luke Dubs, the two members of Hip-Hop Dance duo, Hermitude. Their first release, ‘Imaginary Friends’ EP, was a vinyl-only release, never to have been released on CD, and sold out nationally. Recording their first album, ‘Alleys To Valleys’, in the beautiful Blue Mountains in 2003, the duo would head down to Sydney to try their new material on the crowds.

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WORLD CUP BAR GUIDE Coogee Bay Hotel

A haven on the beachside, Coogee Bay Hotel is a fantastic venue to enjoy your down time, with its seven bars, high quality accommodation and a live entertainment venue that has a 1750 capacity. In the Coogee area, the hotel has become something of an icon as it is known to locals and those travelling from other states as well as tourists from overseas. For this year’s FIFA World Cup in Brazil, Coogee Bay Hotel will be screening all the action live. With the Three Lions out, who are you choosing to cheer on?

253 Coogee Bay Road, Coogee, Sydney www.coogeebayhotel.com.au

Pyrmont Bridge Hotel The FIFA World Cup 2014 continues in July. With England and defneding champions, Spain, already out, the trophy is up for grabs. Catch all the action at these venues alongside hearty helpings of beer and breakfast.

Sydney Palace Hotel

With four big screens, the bar opening from 5am and serving alcohol and coffees from when the doors open, you can’t pick a better bar to go to for the World Cup. Just a few minutes from the Capitol Theatre & Sydney’s entertainment centre, the Palace Hotel is a brilliant place to get together with friends to grab a drink as well as a tasty meal. During the week from 11am to 5pm, you can get either a 250g rump steak or chicken schnitzel for only $10 or a grain fed yg porterhouse for $14 when you buy a drink. Become a Palace Hotel member to receive discounts, special drinks offers and other exciting discounts.

730-742 George Street, Haymarket, Sydney www.palacehotelsydney.com.au

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The Pyrmont Bridge Hotel is a brilliant location to get together with your friends for a relaxing drink and also catch a little something to eat. If you’re feeling particularly manly, through the week at PBH is the ‘Man or Mouse’ challenge. Take on the Monster Chicken Burger ($15), Rack of Ribs or the 1KG rump steak (each $20) and be crowned the title of ‘Man’ on completion.

No one wants to go home a mouse. Across Pyrmont Bridge Hotel’s three floors and 15 screens, you can catch all of the World Cup games until the final on 14th July.

96 Union Street, Pyrmont, Sydney www.pyrmontbridgehotel.com

Churchills Sports Bar

Showing every World Cup match live from Brazil until 14th July, Churchills Sports Bar is the place to be during the incredible tournament. Watch each country fight for survival on the HD big screens while sitting in the comfortable surroundings with a cold beer in your hand from the welcoming bar staff.

There will also be tonnes of prizes and giveaways, merchandise on sale and full live tab betting to increase the tension and make it even more exciting!

Even when the matches aren’t on, you can still head inside for trivia on Thursdays, free pool on Mondays (6-9pm), poker on Fridays and Sundays and a badge draw on Saturdays.

532 Anzac Pride, Kingsford www.churchillsbar.com.au

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Melbourne Imperial Hotel

Welcome to this little pub in Melbourne’s CBD, but don’t let its size fool you.

The Imperial Hotel found on the Spring Street end of Bourke Street is huge on sport, great food and ice cold beers. If you’re after the best place to enjoy live sporting action, then look no further. The kitchen dishes up only first class pub meals with food being available from 12-9pm and you will also find tasty beers and ciders on tap. The Imperial will be open 24/7 during the FIFA World Cup hosted by Brazil, and will be showing every fixture of the tournament.

A special World Cup promotion of $20 Bud Buckets is available as well as a serving of breakfast every morning at 6am whenever there’s a game. With England and Spain out before the group stage even finished, who will win the trophy this year?

2-8 Bourke Street, Melbourne www.bourkestreetimperial.com

The Portland Hotel

A great pub that will be keeping its doors open 24/7 throughout this year’s World Cup, see all the action live from Brazil at The Portland Hotel. After the terrible efforts of the Three Lions, defending champions, Spain, already out and Luis Suarez trying to eat everyone that comes in his path, who knows what the rest of the tournament will throw up! The Portland Hotel is located in Melbourne’s CBD and is also a brewery, the James Squire Brewhouse. You are welcomed into its warm atmosphere with a bar, restaurant and friendly bar staff. The hotel is a must-go-to venue to enjoy a nice meal and a cool drink – and plenty of sports!

127 Russell Street, Melbourne www.portlandhotel.com.au

Perth Elephant & Wheelbarrow

As Perth’s top entertainment precinct, Northbridge is home to the Elephant & Wheelbarrow, which has grown to become a popular venue in the area. It can boast a variety of both international and local beers on tap and is a nice traditional British pub in the heart of Northbridge. Its lively atmosphere is a great reason to head on over to the E&W for this year’s FIFA World Cup in Brazil. The pub will be screening 22 games of the international tournament so make sure you grab the best seat nice and early and get your friends together to make a day of it with a cold pint in your hand.

53-55 Lake Street, Perth www.northbridge.elephantandwheelbarrow.com.au

Carbon Bar

How does a 12.5m-wide screen, 16 plasmas and sports coverage with Setanta, ESPN and Foxtel on screen sound? If you’re big on sports then the Carbon Bar in Perth is the right place for you to catch the action of the biggest sports fixtures. Carbon Bar will be screening all of the games from the Brazil 2014 FIFA World Cup, live and free. If the football gives you a hankering for Brazilian flavours, lunch and dinner at Junction Grill is aiming to impress with a selection of dishes for $12.95. Indulge in sirloin steak with cilantro chimichurri sauce, picante pizza with a hint of spice or Copacabana chicken parmigiana with chorizo sausage. Live football and food to match, this match made in heaven is only available until 14th July.

Crown Perth, Great Eastern Highway, Burswood, Perth www.carbonsportsbar.com.au

Brisbane Pig ‘N’ Whistle

This traditional British pub on Brisbane’s Riverside is a great venue for your night out and a perfect place to have a delicious sit down meal with a varied selection from the a la carte menu. There are over 22 craft beers on tap and a relaxing beer garden showing live music on Wednesday from 5.30pm.

As far as the World Cup goes, this Brisbane institution has teamed up with Budweiser to be the city’s go-to venue for all things football. Catch all of the games live and loud, but make sure you’re inside before 3am for certain matches before the Lock-out Law comes into effect. The earliest games will be kicking off at 2am so set your alarms and get your power naps in so you don’t miss a moment of the action.

123 Eagle Street, Brisbane www.pignwhistle.com.au

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When you want to find something to do in Sydney, it can be a struggle to differentiate the good from the…not so good. Take our advice and head to these exciting and respected establishments, exhibitions and venues for the best things to do in Sydney this July.

The Rocks Foodies Market

Browse the stalls of The Rocks Foodies Market for tasty treats, delectable delights and sumptuous sweets. Coming to life every Friday from 9am-3pm, Jack Mundey Place hosts bakers, butchers and culinary geniuses from Sydney to sell their freshly baked bread, melt-in-the-mouth burgers and homemade condiments to you.

Jack Mundey Place, The Rocks www.therocks.com/things-to-do/the-rocks-markets

HO RIG T HT NO W

The Chip Off The Old Block

If you’re missing that classic British charm already, The Chip Off The Old Block is a bar with pub grub, good booze and buckets of character that’s typical of London. Open Wednesday – Sunday from 4pm, The Chip has a concise menu of Brit classics like lamb and mushy peas, Ploughman’s supper and even baked beans on toast. They’ve even combined your two favourite sarnies to create the bacon and chip butty. Chuck in a brew and $5 drinks during Happy Hour every Wednesday – Saturday and we can hardly contain ourselves.

3 Little Queen Street, Chippendale www.thechipofftheoldblock.com.au

The Bucket List

FOOD

If you like eating out and going to the theatre, FOOD combines the two with a production on family, love and food, using their on-stage kitchen to cook up some tidbits for you to try. Written by Steve Rodgers, it tells the story of two sisters running a highway takeaway joint, which they transform into a restaurant following the entrance of a young Turkish traveller. The food you are welcome to sample is vegetarian and doesn’t contain nuts, so every audience member is included. Embark on the journey with the characters and get fed along the way!

Lennox Theatre, Corner of Church and Market Streets, Parramatta (1st – 5th July) riversideparramatta.com.au Joan Sutherland Performing Arts Centre, 597 High Street, Penrith (17th – 19th July) www.jspac.com.au

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Images courtesy of The Chip Off The Old Block, The Rocks Foodies Market, The Bucket List, Blue Dog Posters and FOOD

Blue Dog Posters

Artistic prints and posters of your favourite movie, band, novel or sitcom, or even something that just catches your eye, can all be found at Blue Dog Posters. Available to view in the Newtown shop or order online, their collection is extensive and bound to have something to your liking. The shop also provides mounting and laminating services to perfect your print and make it a decorative piece you’d be proud to show off. Pop in any day of the week, just around the corner from Newtown Station.

311 King Street, Newtown www.bluedogposters.com.au

It may be everyone’s favourite summer hangout, but the action doesn’t stop at The Bucket List this winter. Taking their Summer Sets inside, movie screenings will be held by the warmth of the fire, during which you can enjoy $5 tacos, $5 Hahn Super Dry, $10 margaritas and DJs playing music all night, plus free popcorn to snack on throughout the film. Live music will continue to take over this Bondi Beach venue on Thursday nights, so you can catch local artists and bands with a side of $6 Monteith’s Cider from 5pm.

The Bondi Pavilion, Queen Elizabeth Drive, Bondi Beach thebuckeetlistbondi.com.au

Getting Started In Sydney To start a new life in Sydney, you’ll need to know the best areas to live, work and relax. Looking across this incredible city, here’s our guide to getting started in Sydney, and if you want to know more, head to the website to find out where to get your Medicare card and Australian driving license.

Living In Glebe

In Glebe, you’ll find space away from the city but won’t be too far from the cool cafes and buzzing bars. Predominantly home to university students and the upwardly mobile, along with writers and artists, this inner city suburb also has studios for dance, music and painting, which are perfect for winding down after work. Glebe is a fashionable and trendy area that’s popular with travellers and expats alike. Hostel accommodation starts at around $45 per night and rented accommodation at about $150 per week. Whether it’s looking for bargains at Glebe’s popular markets or traipsing through the many art galleries, it is the perfect place to reside, and is in easy reach of the CBD. Getting to Glebe is easy from the city – you can catch buses 431 to 434 from Circular Quay at the foot of the city.

Working In Sydney CBD

If you’re looking for corporate work, you will find openings to suit you in the CBD or North Shore, while hospitality and retail can be found in the city and eastern suburbs, and the tourism industry is mostly based in Bondi, Manly and Kings Cross. Keep in mind that work in Sydney is competitive, so before you approach anyone, make sure your CV is in order. Check out our Getting Started In Australia page online for more information.

Drinking In Kings Cross

This is the major clubbing district in Sydney and is home to a number of trendy establishments. Locally known as ‘The Cross’, it houses a range of great clubs and bars to suit any budget and taste. Whether you’re looking for big clubs or boutique small bars, fruity cocktails or frothy schooners, this area is as diverse as it gets and welcomes anyone looking for a good time. It also serves as Sydney’s Red Light District and contains many venues with 24-hour entrance.

Eating In Darlinghurst

Venture into Darlinghurst with an empty stomach you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what’s on offer. Along Victoria Street, there are a rolling number of restaurants, bars and cafes serving up sushi, steaks, burgers, pizzas and anything else you might fancy. Stanley Street is Sydney’s very own Little Italy, with Italian restaurants in abundance. There’s no doubt that everyone is catered to in Darlinghurst.

Relaxing In Tamarama

Tamarama Beach is right next to Bondi, and has huge waves that are great for surfers and those looking for a challenging swim. Make use of one of the many stationary BBQs to sit back, relax and cook up a storm, or take a stroll and discover why, in its own way, it’s favoured with locals for relaxation and rejuvenation.

Have a unique and refreshing swim at Murray Rose Pool (formerly Redleaf Pool) in Double Bay. Located off the sands of Shilling Beach and into the harbour, take a dive off of the pontoons or from the edge of the enclosure, and swim in the waters of the most famous harbour in the world. This beautiful pool is divided from the ocean due to the increase in sharks in the harbour, and remains completely safe for swimmers all year round. There’s a kiosk, toilets and changing room facilities for your benefit, and you can chill out on the sands and grassy areas to regain your energy.

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By Arti Rajput

Swimming In Double Bay

Give your night out that extra bit of oomph by taking advantage of all the great entertainment and pub promotions going on across the city. From pub quizzes with excellent prizes, to awesome happy hour offers, we take a look at some of the best nights out to be had across the city.

Sydney’s Best Pub Promotions

The Arisaig Jacksons is an iconic Sydney venue only a few minutes walk from popular destinations like The Rocks, Circular Quay and Sydney Opera House. The George Street establishment now features its very own PJ Gallagher’s Irish Pub, perfect for drinks and a friendly atmosphere that could rival Dublin’s Irish charm. PJ Gallagher’s hosts happy hour 7 days a week from 4-6pm with $5 Coronas and house spirits. If you’re having a bigger get together or feel like celebrating, happy hour also includes $15 cocktail jugs. On Sundays drink to traditional live Irish music from 4pm and imagine you’re in the country of liquid sunshine. Purchase a platter of delicious seafood and receive a complimentary bottle of bubbly to help wash it down.

176 George Street, Sydney www.jacksonsongeorge.com.au

Parkside Bar @ Bat & Ball

If you’re a fan of hot wings then the Parkside Bar is going to be your new favourite place. On Mondays from 5pm you can feast on all-you-can-eat hot wings with ranch sauce for $9.90. Treat yourself to a main, burger or salad on Thursdays and you’ll get a free drink to help prepare you for Fridays at the Parkside Bar. Your weekend starts with all beers and wines for $5 between 5-7pm, along with live DJs from 8 until late, so make sure you get there with enough time to make the most of happy hour. Head back to the lively bar and spend your weekend with live bands and great Indie music. Devour the dishes on the weekday lunch menu for $10 with choices like quesadillas, pulled pork burgers and roasted Portabello mushrooms.

495 Cleveland Street, Surry Hills www.parksidebar.com.au

Monday

Tuesday

Smallbar 48 Erskine Street CBD $12 Fresh Fruit Juice Cocktails

Concourse Bar 33 York Street Wynyard $9.50 Pie and House Beverage

Parkside Bar 495 Cleveland Street Redfern All You Can Eat Hot Wings $9.90

Wednesday

The Little Guy 87 Glebe Point Road, Glebe Plug and Play: Open Mic

The Porterhouse Irish Pub 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Chicken Schnitzel

P.J. O’Briens 57 King Street, CBD Tuesday Trivia Tea Gardens Hotel 2 - 4 Bronte Road Bondi Junction Joker Poker from 7pm The Soda Factory 16 Wentworth Avenue Surry Hills $1 Gourmet Hot Dogs

Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Road Coogee $15 Prawn Pizza

The Arisaig Tea Rooms derives its name from the picturesque Scottish village of Arisaig, and provides you with friendly Scottish hospitality and fresh local produce. The family owned venue has a reputable charm and an atmosphere infused with Scottish humour. The Arisaig Tea Rooms will soon be hosting open mic nights every Tuesday for those of you ballsy enough to go on stage and have a good Scottish craic. All the open mic entertainment will take place between 6pm and 12pm, so start practicing your one-liners and engaging stage voice. If you’re stage-shy then you can sit back, relax and enjoy the live acts while sharing a Vanilla Bison teapot which includes vodka, vanilla liqueur, lime juice, and vanilla and apple juice for $28.

26 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills www.arisaigtearooms.com.au

The Chamberlain Hotel

In the heart of Sydney’s CBD you’ll find The Chamberlain Hotel, a sophisticated pub that is only a 10 minute walk from Central Station. They offer a variety of drinks and a delectable wine list to quench your thirst. We’d recommend the Juliet Pinot Noir 2010 which tastes of lifted plum and cherry notes with a silky smooth texture - #justsayin. Mondays to Thursdays the house wines are $5 between 5pm and 7pm, and during other times most glasses of wine are between $7 and $8. You can also purchase drinks on tap along with many other happy-hour specials throughout the week. Start your weekend with your work crew or friends on Friday nights with freshly grilled complimentary prawns at 5pm and $5 Coronas ‘til 7pm. Munch on tasty prawns and dance the night away to the local DJ’s latest beats from 10pm ‘til 2am – you can’t go wrong.

428 Pitt Street, Sydney www.chamberlainhotel.com.au

Thursday

Palace Hotel 730 - 742 George Street, Haymarket Fortune Cookie Thursdays

Friday The Morrison 225 George Street CBD $15 Burger and Beer

The Stoned Crow 39 Willoughby Road, Crows Nest $9 Quesadillas Old Growler 216 - 218 William Street Woolloomooloo $25 Steak Night

Cargo Bar 52 - 60 The Promenade King Street Wharf $5 Happy Hour from 5-7pm

Saturday

Cock’N’Bull 89 Ebley Street Bondi Junction Live Music from 7pm

Scruffy Murphy’s 43 - 49 Goulburn Street $15 Cocktail Jugs

Lord Roberts Hotel 64 Stanley Street Darlinghurst $5 Tiger Pints

The Norfolk 305 Cleveland Street, Surry Hills $20 Mexican Cocktail Jugs

Sunday

Churchills 532 Anzac Pride Kingsford Afternoon Poker with $1500 Prize The Sugarmill 37 Darlinghurst Road, Potts Point Recovery Sundays: $9.99 Cheeseburgers and Listed Cocktails

Imperial Hotel Paddington 252 Oxford Street Paddington Live Acoustic Music from 4:30pm

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

PJ Gallagher’s @ Jacksons

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The Shaw Davey Slum This ‘60s style venue has been constructed in Carlton as a colourful homage to Australia’s Golden era. The unique interior creates a relaxing space where you can be inspired by the intricacies of the décor, and receive great value for money.

The Shaw Davey Slum opened its doors in May 2014 and marked its spot as a celebration of Carlton’s diverse history. It has been named after two commissioners called Shaw and Davey, who wrote a poverty report in 1958 about demolishing areas known as the slums.

Spread out over two levels, with regular DJ nights taking place on the upper, The Shaw Davey Slum has impeccable food and specially crafted cocktails. Their à la carte menu features filling meat and veggie pies for $12 and a selection of delicious Parma specials like the chicken Parma breaded with corn flakes, with a topping of bacon Bolognese sauce for $19.

Welcome to one of Melbourne’s newest hot spots...

Famous for $14, for a hint of spice the Fairy Bread is only $12, while the Jelly Doughnut will honour all of your sugar cravings for $10. Amongst their sugary sweet treat cocktails, you can also sip on a traditional beer or glass of wine.

For those of you designated drivers, you’ll be pleased to know they also do mocktails, which the bartenders will happily mix up for you. The Shaw Davey Slum is far from being a shack in a slum, with its great atmosphere, extensive drinks list and superb food. Make it your new hang out.

171 – 175 Elgin Street, Carlton www.theshawdaveyslum.com.au

The Slum’s food menu is great for meat lovers and vegetarians, especially with the healthy quinoa, halloumi and roasted vegetable salad for $17, which also works perfectly as a refreshing snack before a pulled lamb board for $20. If you fancy hearty bangers and mash then their Italian pork bangers, mash and gravy is the perfect food to keep you satisfied. This beautiful establishment is reasonably priced for an inner city hub.

You’ll be in heaven with their slum cocktails named after all the sweet things your mother wouldn’t let you have – try the creamy Pink Marshmallow Hosted yearly by Wonderland Spiegeltent, the Peruvian Festival will be held on 19th July, 120 Pearl River Road, and will be sure to showcase the best of Peruvian culture. From 11am - 11pm, indulge in the traditional cuisine of Peru whilst you enjoy Peruvian style dance performances, an array of music from authentic Latino bands and Melbourne’s top Latin DJ’s. Be sure to catch Oz Locos performance! Oz Locos is one of the best Australian-Latin Hip Hop crews, and their fusion of drums, percussion and acoustic guitar is certain to make the crowds Salsa. You can also take it back to the old school on the carnival rides, if you fancy doing your best Mick Hucknall ‘Fairground’ impression.

A Little Taste of South America Fancy experiencing some South American culture during your stay in Melbourne this July? If so, grab your friends and head down to Melbourne’s Docklands for a celebration of Peruvian culture, or head to Federation Square for a flamboyant Colombian Independence Day festival.

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From 12pm - 6pm you are invited to sample aromatic Colombian foods. You have a choice of Empanadas, Bandeja Paisa (a Colombian platter from the Paisa Region) and Latin Tapas, to name a few, all of which are served in market inspired stalls. For those who enjoy a tipple or two, you may wish to liven up your taste buds at one of the Latin Bars, with the traditional Colombian drink, Aguardiente. Everyone is welcome to dance along to the live Colombian music. In addition, the festival will include international artists and six traditional dance performances which will run throughout the day. Held in the heart of Melbourne, the Colombian Festival is situated opposite Flinders Street Station and is easy to reach by all manner of public transport.

By Arti Rajput & Naomi Finniss, Image courtesy of Federation Square.

If you’d rather a taste of Colombia, however, then make your way to Federation Square at noon on 20th July. Latin American communities will congregate for a high-spirited celebration focused around Colombian Independence Day. All nationalities are welcome to celebrate and explore Colombian passions and culture!

With numerous transport links, no entrance fee, an eclectic range of entertainment and the promise of a fun-filled day, both the Peruvian and Colombian Festivals are sure to be hot and happening destinations in Melbourne this July! The Melbourne Peruvian Festival will take place on 19th July 2014, at 120 Pearl River Road, Docklands, Melbourne, for more information head to www.facebook.com/PeruvianFestival. The South American shinanigans will continue on 20th July 2014 with the Columbia Festival taking over Federation Square. For full details head to www.fedsquare.com.

Let’s face it; you didn’t come all this way to Melbourne to sit around watch Australia’s soap operas. Head outdoors and discover the best things to see, do, taste and experience with our selection of Melbourne bars, shops, exhibitions and events this July.

Southgate Moveable Feasts

Urban Provedore

Where regional produce meets the city, Urban Provedore wants to share its passion for food with each and every one of you. The current winter menu sees buttermilk pancakes with streaky bacon, ocean trout with goat’s cheese, and ham hock fritters with red cabbage and crumbed black pudding, alongside local beer and wine, Monday – Friday 7am-7pm and Saturday & Sunday 8am-5pm. For a delicious treat, try the peanut butter milkshake in this ultra stylish South Yarra café.

231 Toorak Road, South Yarra www.urbanprovedore.com.au

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Sample the melting pot of flavours available in Melbourne with Southgate Moveable Feasts, a three-course dinner of participating restaurants with cuisine including Japanese, Italian and North American. At $60 or $85pp, guests can enjoy a dish at restaurants like Amarok, Artusi, Tutto Bene and Lindt Chocolate Café, with a glass of wine and tea or coffee with dessert. This is a must for all foodies.

Southgate Restaurant and Shopping Precinct, 3 Southgate Avenue, Southbank www.southgatemelbourne.com.au

The Super Cool If you like design and soft furnishings, The Super Cool is an emporium of pillows, throws and teacups perfect for indulging your inner shopaholic. From multi-coloured check to monochrome madness, this trendy shop opened its first permanent location in Fitzroy back in May. Step inside to find something to comfort you this winter, every day except Tuesday and Wednesday.

280 Nicholson Street, Fitzroy thesupercool.com

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2014 Gertrude Street Projection Festival The spectacular Gertrude Street Projection Festival returns 18th – 27th July to exhibit the best contemporary new media by local talent. This free outdoor experience brings everyone together in Melbourne to see the moving images and colour projected upon the buildings, laneways and pavements of Gertrude Street.

Gertrude Street, Fitzroy gspf.com.au

A Double Pass To Thumpers Sydney or Melbourne Show

Heading to Newtown Social Club in Sydney on 10th July and Northcote Social Club in Melbourne on the 11th, the Indie Pop duo will be bringing their addictive, uplifting music to the crowds, and you could be part of it all.

Expected to be huge at future major festivals and increasing in popularity both in Oz and the UK after the release of debut album, ‘Galore’, this is an opportunity not to be missed. Each double pass comes with a free copy of the album, so you can continue to enjoy the sound of Thumpers long after the gig finishes.

To enter, just email competitions@bbmlive.com with your name, date of birth, email address and which show you’d like to attend, under the subject title THUMPERS. Closing date for Sydney entrants is 9th July, and 10th July for the Melbourne show.

Entrants must be at least 18 years of age. Good luck!

For more information visit www.bbmlive.com

Images courtesy of Urban Provedore & Southgate Moveable Feasts.

UK duo Thumpers are heading to Sydney and Melbourne for the first time this July, and you can win one of five free double passes to your choice of show.

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In It To Win It George Hatzigeorgiou who host and deliver questions that primarily revolve around TV, film and music. We advise booking in advance as tables fill up quickly. There’s nothing better than the Rooftop Trivia night on a picturesque rooftop, with a refreshing beer in your hand.

57 Swan Street, Richmond www.cornerhotel.com

Turf Bar

Whether you’re a quiz and trivia fanatic or a sports enthusiast, we’ve scoured the city for the best pub competitions and promotions to keep you entertained this winter.

The Corner Hotel

Renowned for its live entertainment and band room, The Corner Hotel has hosted everybody from U2 to The White Stripes, but music aside, whether you’re known as the Ginger Love Gods, or the Mater Splinter’s Students there’s plenty of room for stupid pub quiz team names at The Corner Hotel’s Rooftop Trivia night held every Wednesday from 7.30pm. This thought-provoking and comical night is led by Jess Mcguire and

At the Turf Sports Bar you’ll find great offers and deals so you can have the perfect night with your friends. Wednesday nights play host to ‘It’s Bedlam’, the most exciting night of the week.

You can win $750 worth of Peterpans Adventure Travel Prizes each week, plus giveaways and so much more. Expect drink and food deals all night from 7pm on Wednesdays, plus the Killer Pool Competition from 8.30pm with free entry.

To top it all off, every Friday night at Turf they have Matilda’s Happiest Hour, (this reminds us of Matilda in the film, when she uses her magic to decorate the house near the end; bliss), where you can buy drinks for $5 from 6-8pm, or wait a little longer and cash in on cooling 2-4-1 cocktails between 9-11pm.

131 Queen Street, Melbourne www.turfbar.com.au

Crown Sports Bar

Not only can you stay in the know about all things sports related, but the Crown Sports Bar offers the chance to grab yourselves discounts and prizes from competitions and weekly offers. If you attend a show at The Palms, the Crown’s spectacular theatre venue, you can present your show ticket to receive 2 for 1 drinks at Lumia Bar, Level 1

Casino. Another recent giveaway is a life-changing experience for all football lovers; all you need to do is sign up to the Crown’s Signature Club for a chance to win an autographed jersey by Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Luis Suarez or Wayne Rooney. The Signature Club is a way to access all that’s great about the Crown, including its daily entertainment and discounts. All you need to do is visit a Voucher Issuance Kiosk (VIK) within the Competition Period to receive one complimentary automated entry into the prize draw. Members are eligible to receive one complimentary automated entry, per day, during the four-week competition period. Another plus is that all new sign-ups will receive a free mini soccer ball, perfect for carrying on all the World Cup fun once the 2014 games have finished.

8 Whiteman Street, Southbank www.crownmelbourne.com.au

Revolver Upstairs

This multi-arts venue in Melbourne’s inner suburb Prahran hosts a quiz night, ‘Never Cheer Before You Know Who’s Winning’, with the most diverse and amazing prizes. You have the chance to win anything from DVDs, gig tickets and Luna Park ride vouchers. Previous artists that have played at Revolver Upstairs are Heiroglyphics, Mad Professor and Fatboy Slim. This entertaining night is hosted by music journalist, Mikey Cahill and Kerrie Loveless, who will shoot pop culture questions your way. Make this your Tuesday night venue for laughs, shits and giggles from 7.15-11pm, and indulge in Colonel Tan’s combination of traditional Thai cuisine with a unique American diner aesthetic.

229 Chapel Street, Prahran revolverupstairs.com.au

Win $2000 Travel Voucher With Backpacker Boogie

How do you win such a coveted prize? Dance like no one’s watching! Be humorous, creative and imaginative and choose an iconic location in Australia to bust some moves. Whether in a group or alone, film your efforts and submit the video to enter this amazing competition.

You can enter as many times as you like through Facebook and Instagram using the hashtag

Do you want to make the most of your travels whilst in Australia? With Backpacker Boogie, you can do just that with a travel voucher from Peterpans worth $2000.

If you’ve been eager to continue your travels but haven’t had the funds or fancy heading off on an ultimate adventure during your working holiday, you could win a travel voucher worth $2000 from Peterpans Adventure Travel. This voucher can be used to take a tour of one of Australia’s islands,

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#backpackerboogie. The competition opens 1st July 2014 at 7am and closes 31st July 2014 AEST, with the winner announced at the Backpacker Boogie Wrap Up Party at United Backpackers on 6th August and on Facebook and Instagram on 7th August.

For full entry terms and conditions, head to www.backpackerboogie.com.

Need some inspiration? Here are a few ideas from BBM Do the moonwalk in front of Uluru donned head to toe in Michael Jackson gear.

Get your mates together for a rendition of the Harlem Shake on Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Head along the Great Ocean Road and perform Gangnam Style while overlooking the Twelve Apostles.

Stand beneath the Milla Milla falls and writhe around to Peter Andre’s Mysterious Girl.

Head to the coral oasis of the Great Barrier Reef and dance to T-Rex’s ‘I Love To Boogie’ in snorkelling gear.

By Arti Rajput

hire a campervan to drive through the outback, fly to New Zealand or Fiji, and even book international flights and accommodation around the world.

The possibilities are enormous and the memories priceless.

Tuesday

Asian Beer Café 211 La Trobe Street CBD $4 Pizza

Bimbo Deluxe 376 Brunswick Street Brunswick Bored Games from 7-11pm

Thursday

Lucky Coq 179 Chapel Street Windsor Coq Roq Wednesdays Two Birds One Stone 12 Claremont Street South Yarra All Day Breakfast

The Precinct Hotel 60 Swan Street Richmond $17.50 Express Lunch and Drink

Wednesday

Saint & Rogue 582 Little Collins Street, CBD Publicans Happy Hour 5-7pm

29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street St Kilda Texas Hold’Em Poker Night

Hoo Haa Bar 105 Chapel Street Windsor $15 Steak The Mitre Tavern 5 Bank Place Trivia Night 6.30-8.30pm

Turf Bar 131 Queen Street CBD $6 Pints, Vodka & Wine, $5 Pizzas & $10 Burgers

The Shaw Davey Slum 171-175 Elgin Street Carlton $5 Glass of Wine

Temperance Hotel 424 Chapel Street South Yarra 2-4-1 Cocktails

Friday The Dan O’Connell Hotel 225 Canning Street Carlton Free Pool Every Other Friday

Strike Bowling 245 Little Lonsdale Street, CBD Unlimited Laser Tag for $15

Republica 10 – 18 Jacka Boulevard, St Kilda $2 Oysters

Saturday

Workshop Bar 413 Elizabeth Street $5 Pulled Pork & Slaw

The Quiet Man 271 Racecourse Road, Flemington $7.50 Pints

Ding Dong Lounge 18 Market Lane Chinatown Midnight Run

Sunday

29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street St Kilda $3 Fish & Chips

Republica 10 – 18 Jacka Boulevard, St Kilda Live Music from 3-6pm

The Carlton 193 Bourke Street CBD All Day New York Cats Burger Bar

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

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#WINNING in Perth

Make the most of your night out down the pub with fantastic deals and amazing prizes to be won...

The Charles Hotel

The Brass Monkey Hotel

The Royal

With five great entertainment spots The Brass Monkey Hotel is perfect for most occasions.

Whether you’re looking for chilled and laid-back or stylish sophistication, you’ll find it in abundance at The Brass Monkey. There’s no need to fear the first day of the week as Mondays are Monkey Madness days at The Brass Monkey, perfect for those in need of some fun to kick the week off – or extend the weekend. Test your pool skills all night long with free pool from 5pm. All basic spirits are $5, selected pints are $7 and the main bar cocktails are $8. That’s not all, there are Xbox games on the big screen in the Roof Bar for you to play your mates. On top of all of the above, there’s no need to plan your night as The Brass Monkey hosts a live band every Monday from 7pm.

Cnr James & Williams Streets Northbridge, Perth www.thebrassmonkey.com.au

Every Wednesday night you can join in the Funky Bunch Trivia at The Charles Hotel. Test your quiz skills and expansive knowledge with their entertaining questions in a friendly and fun-loving atmosphere. Start your dinnertime with $14 parma and wood-fired pizza before reaching 8pm to begin some of the best trivia action in Perth. Prizes are fun, random and comical, ranging from cool caps to $100 paintball vouchers. So don’t wait around brush up on your trivia skills before going to The Charles Hotel. Make sure you don’t become ‘that person’ who shouts out the answer for all the other teams to hear, your teammates might not appreciate that burst of genius.

509 Charles Street, North Perth www.charleshotel.com.au

The Mustang Bar This is one of Perth’s favourite bars to be frequented by British and Irish people and working holidaymakers alike - as well as having a great mix of sports, entertainment and gigs. Competitions are constantly updated so you have the chance to win lots of prizes at this fun-filled bar. They provide competitions like the Super Rugby Tipping Competition in which the first prize-winner will receive $500 and runners-up will win the $50 bar voucher. Other past sport tipping competitions

The Conservatory Rooftop Bar

If you’re up for a laugh then The Conservatory will have you in stitches every Tuesday. There’s nothing better than a refreshing cold beer in your hand, beautiful panoramic views of Perth and a night of free comedy. Start your night at The Conservatory before 6pm for free entry or pay $10 afterwards.

The laugh-out-loud comedy night starts at 7.30pm and we recommend taking along a fresh pair of undies in case you piss yourself with laughter.

Entrance fees can be paid at the door after 6pm or over the phone. Book a table beforehand to reserve yourself a definite spot. You can also indulge in half price cocktails every Wednesday from 6pm, making your midweek jaunt a cheap affair.

Prince Lane entrance, 365 Murray Street www.theconservatory.net.au

By Arti Rajput

To all you music afficianados out there, you can show off your musical knowledge every Tuesday night at ‘The One Thing Music Quiz’ from 7.30pm.

Along with the music quiz, all guests are offered a quiz tapas menu, which you can pick at throughout the night and share with your friends/potentially winning team mates. Make sure you phone ahead to book a table so you’re in with a chance of winning. The prizes to be won at The Royal are awesome, but the only way to get your hands on one is to go and join in. Let the games begin (in our Hunger Games voice).

60 Royal Street (Cnr of Plain Street), East Perth www.theroyaleastperth.com

include prizes such as a trip to the AFL (Australian Football League) grand final, $100 bar voucher and $500 bar voucher to spend on your favourite drinks. If you’re ever feeling short of cash and love all things sport-related, apply to the competitions through the website and spend an evening getting merry with your winnings – but maybe share it out amongst new and old friends so you don’t make a complete tit of yourself. You don’t need to be a sports fan to win the competitions, try your luck and see what happens.

46 Lake Street, Northbridge, Perth www.mustangbar.com.au

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W NO

Perth and its surroundings have an abundance of things to see, do and enjoy during your time here. Whether sipping coffee in a café or viewing the latest works from aspiring artists, the capital of Western Australia is not to be dismissed when it comes to exploring and entertainment, but to help you find the best this July, here are the best things to check out this month in Perth.

Segway Tours WA If you want to see Perth without taking a step, get on board a Segway and cruise along Swan River, through the CBD and past Kings Park. With lessons and daily guided tours in the east, west and riverside areas, you can discover a lot more about this beautiful city at a faster pace, and you don’t even work up a sweat to do it! Tours are just $129pp and last at least one hour. If you want to try out your new skill, take to the Experience Zone and ride your Segway through the rails and over the bumps for $40. You’ll also find Segway Tours WA on Rottnest Island, so why not explore the historic isle gliding along on a Segway?

Barrack Street Jetty, Barrack Street, Perth segwaytourswa.com.au

Bossman True to its word, this shop knows coffee and ain’t afraid to say it. A Perth institution, Bossman only opened in November 2013 but has garnered a loyal following and deserves recognition. The cakes and pastries also deserve a mention, with Seville Orange Semolina, Pear Almond Tart and Cashew Honey Ladies Fingers. But they really do make good coffee. Like a boss.

Shop 3, 669 Beaufort Street, Mt Lawley www.facebook.com/bossmancoffee

Wild Bakery Serving classic French baked goods to the people of Fremantle, flavours, traditions and real food are at the heart of this hole-in-the-wall bakery, created in-store and on the way to your mouth as soon as possible. From sweet threechocolate cakes and Turkish orange cakes to sourdough and bacon & egg brioche, whether you have a sweet tooth or crave a savory bite, there’s something to ease your hunger.

390 South Terrace, Fremantle www.facebook.com/ WildBakeryFremantle

Old Faithful Heat up your winter with a BBQ at Old Faithful, and cool your tastebuds down with a cold Australian beer or carefully crafted cocktail.

Meats are cooked slowly for tender juiciness, but waiting time is minimal, whether you opt for pulled pork, chicken wings or beef brisket. Served beside only the best ales from Feral Brewery in a polished restaurant, it’s astonishing to think they only opened in May. Open every day except Monday, from noon on weekdays and 5pm on weekends.

86 King Street, Perth www.facebook.com/oldfaithfulbar

Images courtesy of Bossman, Segway Tours WA, Wild Bakery and Old Faithful

T O H T H RIG

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The Pilbara Journey to Australia’s North West and unlock the beauty of The Pilbara region. From stunning coastline to amazing wildnerness, travel overground for the ultimate adventure.

Collections of water are perfect for a dip after a long walk on a hot day and make for welcome surprises when dry, red rock is as far as the eye can see, so swimming clothes and a towel are worth remembering to pack. Some of the most beautiful rock formations are here ready for your appreciation, and with very few distractions, you truly feel like you have all the time in the world to enjoy them.

An area five times the size of Scotland, the Pilbara really is astonishing territory. Karijini National Park has a mix of rocky road and plunging pools for ultimate adventure, of which Dales Gorge offers the most unforgettable. A three-in-one experience, get relief from the sun at Fortescue Falls, soak up the setting of Fern Pool and walk the three-hour return journey of Circular Pool. Climb carefully into Hancock Gorge, hike the trail to Mt Bruce and take in the spectacular view from Oxer Lookout.

In complete contrast, far west Pilbara is skirted with idyllic coastline and the opportunity to dive, snorkel and bathe upon the sands. The Dampier Archipelago and Mackerel Islands provide ocean escapes off of the mainland, while Port Hedland, Point Samson and Dampier are seaside settlements with the largest populations that you’ll see in Pilbara. This coastline is untouched compared to the busy, commercial site of the Great Barrier Reef, yet provides just as extraordinary snorkeling, swimming and diving.

Closer to the coast lies Millstream Chichester National Park, even more of a haven for relaxing pools, vegetation and life, providing a respite from the desolate land that surrounds you. Stroll along the cliffs of Fortescue River while looking closely to what flora and fauna you can spot, or laze beside the peaceful Chinderwarriner Pool, full of lily pads and bordered by dominant trees. Between July and September is the perfect time to make your visit to see the blossoming carpet of wildflower that manages to grow following wet season.

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As a result of this underwater paradise, marine life swarms to the area to feed off of the coral and swim from the south to the north. All year round, dugong and dolphins can be seen in the shores, while humpback whales are spotted between July and September and turtles use the beaches to nest between September and April. There are also excellent fishing spots to grab a fresh dinner.

The coastal towns of the Pilbara also see the natural phenomenon of Staircase To The Moon. A moment prior to sunset when the full moon reflects off the exposed mudflats, this occurrence creates an illusion of stairs reaching up to the moon. The towns you can expect to see it include Dampier, Cossack, Point Samson, Port Hedland, and the Kimberley town of Broome.

Without a doubt, the best way to spend the night is beneath the stars. Campgrounds can be found throughout Pilbara including Karijini and Millstream Chichester National Parks, some of the islands of the Dampier Archipelago and the grassy areas of Point Samson and Port Hedland. If sleeping with Australia’s nocturnal creatures isn’t your cup of tea, there is accommodation available in the way of B&Bs, resorts and holiday homes, while Karijini Eco Tents provide a more stable version of camping complete with bathroom and deck.

A land that seems to go on forever, the Pilbara is a vast region of rocky terrain, intimidating canyons and deep red rock millions of years old. Yet, it is dotted with pools of paradise, luscious oasis’ and natural crystal clear baths to while away the hours, dipping in and out as you please. Whether up high looking out at the world below you or deep inside the gorges, tunnels and caves, there’s a whole world of adventure in north-west Australia, still one of the most untouched areas on the planet.

By Charlotte Mellor, Images courtesy of Tourism Western Australia

The north-west of Australia is where you’ll find the Pilbara, home to some of the world’s oldest natural landscapes dating back two billion years and a feat for any adventurer to explore at 400,000 square kilometres. From the outstanding coral coastline with turquoise waters to the deep canyons and mountain ranges of the renowned national parks, this region contains some of the most beautiful yet challenging terrain to grace the Earth.

explore with Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours One of Australia’s most pristine and breathtaking islands, Kangaroo Island is the aptly named escape just minutes from the mainland, yet feels a million miles away.

Providing inland adventure one side and a clear, blue ocean on the other, you don’t want to miss a second of the experience on offer, so take a trip with Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours and get to know this beautiful little isle inside out.

As a staple tour company in Adelaide, South Australia, you can put your confidence in Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours to show you the very best of the island, with buckets of fun and activities in a group of like-minded travellers.

A two-day trip is just enough to satisfy your appetite. Not only do you get to stay at the renowned Vivonne Bay Lodge, the coolest accommodation in the vicinity, you also get full use of the kayaks and bikes, plus visits to Seal Bay, Remarkable Rocks, Admirals Arch and sand-boarding at Little Sahara.

Based on the south-west coast, you will get the chance to experience Kangaroo Island’s main attractions. Seal Bay, so called because of the large colony of Australian sea lions, is a spectacular area that allows you to get closer than ever to these adorable marine animals. Meanwhile, Vivonne Bay, where you will be sleeping for the night, is more stunning in winter than you can ever imagine, and has been named Australia’s best beach by a well-known scientist who studied 10,000 beaches around Australia. Head into the ocean for a surf or swim, grab a bike to get your heart pumping or step into a kayak and wade through the waters – they’re all complimentary during your trip with Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours.

The fun doesn’t end there, because your guide is ready to take you into Flinders Chase National Park to walk the trails and witness the sights of Remarkable Rocks and Admirals Arch. You will also get to meet the habitual animals of Australia at Hanson Bay Wildlife Sanctuary, discover the ins and outs of a working farm at Rob’s Sheep Shearing and skim the surface of Little Sahara on a sand-board.

With plenty of wildlife-spotting opportunities within the parks and conservation areas of Kangaroo Island, you might just see something special. For example, why come to Kangaroo Island and not see an actual kangaroo? Those inhabiting the island are smaller (cuter!), darker and have longer fur than their mainland equivalent, due to the island’s separation from Oz. Choose this amazing trip with Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours this winter and you will pay the discounted price of $399pp. That’s all the activities, accommodation, travel to and from the island, all meals across two days and a friendly guide at $37 off of the regular price, only until 31st August 2014.

Find out more about Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours and book yours today by heading to kiadventuretours.com.au.

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Explore Fraser Island

One of the East Coast’s most unique and amazing places, venture to this island and immerse yourself in adventure.

Arguably Australia’s most famous area off of the mainland, Fraser Island is an impressive 184,000 hectares of exceptional activity, varied landscape and unique beauty. The largest sand island in the world, it contains every exotic environment you can think of; pristine white beaches spanning as far as the eye can see, striking sand cliffs the colour of the setting sun, expansive rainforest standing tall and proud, and over 100 freshwater lakes. Such terrain has resulted in endless adventure all year round, and earns the island its listing as a World Heritage Site. Despite being heavily protected, you are welcome to explore to your heart’s content. To see as much as possible, book the Fraser Island Three Day/Two Night Self-Drive Guided Camping Tour with Drop Bear Adventures and start making memories from the second you step foot on the exfoliating sand dunes.

There are three pick-up and drop-off points to begin the three-day Fraser Island tour – Noosa, Hervey Bay and Rainbow Beach – so the tour you book will depend on where you want to begin and end the journey, but the itinerary remains largely the same.

Enjoy the oasis of the lakes, the sociable campsite, the thrill of 4WD along 75 Mile Beach and the striking splendour of the coloured sands. Central Station Rainforest is a lush area of trails and walkways only interrupted by winding creeks of crystal clear water beneath a canopy of towering trees. Behold the astounding Indian Head as the waves below crash upon it and visit the Maheno Shipwreck – both perfect Kodak moments so don’t forget a camera!

Lakes McKenzie, Wabby and Allom provide relaxation and relief from each day’s travel, as does sitting on the beach with a beer while getting to know your new-found friends.

The campsite that will be your home for the next three days is more welcoming than you could imagine. Meals are traditional and laidback with an Aussie BBQ and delicious stir-fry, the hot camp shower is a rare luxury and you’ll even be provided with sleeping bags and pillows for extra comfort.

Discover more about your fellow travellers with Jenga and playing cards to test their skill, take a didgeridoo or boomerang lesson and make music around the campfire with the use of a guitar. If you’re a keen fisherman, rods and bait are available to use as you wish.

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Speaking of the personal touch, Drop Bear Tours’ Mark enthuses, “We rise our guests early with a good hearty breakfast and tea or coffee and start our day soon after sunrise. Our guests often comment on the fact that they have had each itinerary spot to themselves and that they just feel so relaxed like they are just camping with some friends for a few days.”

Your knowledgeable and passionate guide is more than ready to answer any questions you have on Fraser Island, providing a personable tour so you can create great memories. Whether you want to drive or be driven, relax or explore, climb high or swim deep – there’s so much to see and do on this trip, and every second, every activity, is all included in the price, from just $389pp.

To book your three-day 4WD Fraser Island tour, head to dropbearadventures.com.au or call 1800 061 156

A Weekend Away...

Byron Bay When you think of New South Wales, you tend to think of Sydney as the main place to visit. However, with its chilled out beaches, laid back attitude - with a psychedelic twist - Byron Bay is definitely worth a visit and deserves a place on your list of must see destinations whilst in Australia.

When visiting Byron, it is recommended that you start your journey at the most eastern point on Australia’s mainland which is at Cape Byron. Here you will be greeted by stunning ocean views, as well as Cape Byron’s famous lighthouse, which was built in 1901 to alert passing ships of the dangers of the coast.

From here you can embark on a walk around Cape Byron which is a 3.5 km loop that takes you through rainforest and across cliff tops with breath-taking views and the chance to see a variety of wildlife too.

Balcony Bar which is based in one of Byron’s oldest buildings giving it a unique charm as a drinking spot within the city. If you want to come across more of the eccentric type of locals or other backpackers, then Railway Friendly Bar (also known as the Tracks) is the place to head for a pint or two.

And if dancing on the tables and waving your hands around like you just don’t care is what you want from a night out then Cheeky Monkeys will give you that in abundance.

For those who want to take things easy, Byron offers two good and clean beaches for the sun-worshippers and surfers amongst you. Main Beach offers the perfect place to people watch and hang out with friends, whilst Belongil Beach is much quieter, it may be more suitable for the exhibitionists out there, as it operates as a nudist beach all year round!

Byron Bay also hosts a variety of festivals during the year such as Byron’s Writing Festival (1st-3rd August), Byron Surf Festival (24th-26th October) and the well known music festival Splendour in the Grass (26th-28th July) which this year features acts such as London Grammar, Foster the People and Lily Allen.

If the call of the waves is too strong to resist then there are plenty of opportunities to undertake water activities such as kayaking, whale watching and of course the ultimate Aussie sport; surfing. There are many places where you can pick up a board or get lessons whilst visiting Byron but one of the best places to hire surfboards is ‘Byron Bay, Surf and Bike Hire’ based on Lawson Street, basic hire of a board starts at $10 per day. If you are after the famous hippie vibe that Byron has, but hate the thought of getting sand in your shoes, then no need to worry as Byron also has lots to offer besides the beach. If you head to Butler Street Reserve on the 1st Sunday of every month between 8am and 4pm you will get the chance to indulge in some retail therapy at Byron Bay Markets which is famous for its range of produce, new age funkiness and great atmosphere. Another thing to do whilst in Byron, if you wish to relax the mind, body and soul, is to partake in a yoga class. There are several yoga centres and retreats in the city to choose from, but one worthy of a mention is the Byron Yoga Centre on Byron Street, they are the Bay’s longest established yoga school and offer a variety of classes depending on your yoga needs.

Overall Byron Bay makes for a great holiday destination with beautiful beaches, laid back locals and a relaxing atmosphere.

Another place worth visiting is the Beach Hotel, referred to by the locals as ‘Top Pub’ it is the only pub on the beachfront of Main Beach. A great place to tuck into some traditional ‘pub grub’ whilst admiring the views of the ocean.

On the other hand, if you are after something quick and easy to eat whilst on the go, Euro Sushi on Lawson Street is your answer they offer sushi rolls for $2.50 each and is hailed as ‘the best sushi in town.’

As the sun goes down at the end of the day, the city of Byron remains alive and kicking. To continue immersing yourself in Byron’s buzzing atmosphere after dark, a refreshing beer or exotic cocktail can be consumed at The

By Stephanie Cross

However, if you are worried that you will end up too chilled out whilst visiting the city, you can get the heart racing again with a skydive over Byron Bay and Ballina. The skydive in Byron is one of Australia’s highest at 14,000ft and after free falling for 60 seconds you then float down to the ground and can enjoy the view of sparkling sandy beaches and hinterland views. After all that excitement you’ll probably be in need of a drink and something to eat, thankfully Byron caters for everyone’s dietary requirements. Particular culinary highlights worth mentioning are the Arts Factory Village, although it is primarily a backpackers lodge (you can even stay in a teepee here!), it also houses The Brewery (Buddha Bar) and Restaurant which has a contemporary atmosphere, with a gourmet menu, beer garden area and live music daily.

Plus tours are available of the brewery if you want to discover more about their brewing process.

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Welcome to United Backpackers, Melbourne’s hottest new hostel...

In Melbourne, you needn’t look far to find a hostel that will welcome you with friendly banter, quirky character and a lively atmosphere seven days a week. United Backpackers is where you’ll find your new family of fellow travellers (almost 300, to be precise), in a light and bright space complete with sparkling bathrooms, a designer kitchen, a social lounge and a range of bedrooms to drift off to the land of nod. With an exciting new basement bar opening soon, it’s just another reason to discover this fun house.

Located opposite the station on Flinders Street, United Backpackers goes further than you’d expect, for this is not just a humble hostel. Accommodation bursting with personality, hang out in the kitchen with your new friends and cook up a storm with plenty of hotplates and storage facilities. If you’d rather chill out, you’re in luck, for United boasts an enormous dining area with windows large enough to appreciate the view and a TV room with free DVD and bean bags to get comfy, while Wi-Fi is available across all common areas.

Don’t expect to be sitting on the Internet all day though; the awesome reception team are always on hand to provide the push you need to head outdoors and take advantage of the great location. Always ready and willing to show off their beautiful city, whatever time and whatever the weather, you can book tours and activities directly from reception including a drive along Great Ocean Road, a trip to Phillip Island for the penguin parade, and surf lessons at Bells Beach. Staying closer to base, discover the famous Melbourne street art along the laneways and bars. By joining one of the daily events held courtesy of the hostel, you can get to know your roommates inside out either on a pub crawl, comedy night or during the laneway tours of the street art and rooftop bars. There are also AFL games showing live, quiz nights and themed parties within the hostel itself. With so much to see and do, United’s brilliant location is one positive you can’t dismiss.

When you really can’t take any more adventure, United backpackers is perfect for getting some shuteye – it is a hostel, after all. Providing beds for 300 travellers, there are shared and private options, from one double – 12 single beds, with or without bathrooms. Not only do they have the best pillows in Melbourne (yes, really – we checked), the bedding is guaranteed fresh and clean, alongside your own locker, bedside light and power point.

Rooms can only be accessed by a swipe card, so you can be sure of complete safety and security. They’re also cheap as chips with 12-bed dorms at $28 per person per night, fourbed en-suite dorms at $36 and a double room from $90.

While there’s a huge focus on play, United Backpackers has a good understanding that many of its residents will be on working holidays while in Oz. As a result, its staff are full of knowledge and advice to help you get some work and earn enough dollars to enjoy yourself!

Not only are they the first to hear about job openings, the hostel is also located right next door to busy cafes, restaurants, retail shops and small businesses, which look to United Backpackers for hard workers.

Whether you’re looking for a good night’s sleep in comfortable accommodation, a lively hostel where you can meet new people, a leap pad to the surrounding attractions of Melbourne or somewhere to live, work and play simultaneously, United Backpackers makes the choice easy. One of the hottest new hostels in the city, don’t hesitate in making it your new home.

Find out more at unitedbackpackers.com.au, call 03 9654 2616 or email stay@unitedbackpackers.com.au to discover this super cool hostel before it’s all booked up!

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by 10%. Prices vary, but you can book the studio apartment for as little as $213AUD.

Explore Europe...

What makes Basel so inviting is the unique extras you won’t find anywhere else in the world.

As a tourist in the city with a hotel reservation, you can enjoy free public transport during your stay. If you need to get across the Rhine River to the cathedral, a novel tradition is to get on board the ferry. A boat just big enough to carry 30 passengers, it runs only on an oar and the tide of the river, so sit back and relax during the five-minute crossing. You should also admire the wonder that is the Tinguely Fountain and check out the mural to Rock and Blues stars including Rolling Stones, Tina Turner and Bob Marley.

Basel If you’re heading to the UK this summer, take a weekend away to the city of Basel. Nestled beside Switzerland’s borders of France and Germany, Basel is an intricate layout of cobbled pavements with museums on every corner, narrow streets lined with even smaller houses, and three bridges crossing the iconic Rhine River, baring more of a resemblance to an idyllic township than a heaving metropolis.

While Swiss holidays may be associated with snow-capped mountains and skiing, Basel provides more of a summer escape. Its architecture is quaint yet striking – walk down a quiet road for shutter windows, lemon-painted houses and vintage shops that don’t open until noon, or take in the masterpiece that is Basel Cathedral, sitting pretty on the edge of the river.

a view, head to Ramada Plaza in Messeplatz, the nearest building you’ll find to a skyscraper in Basel.

The Mediterranean influence has resulted in an abundance of pizzerias, juicy steakhouses and relaxing cafes with al fresco dining. Atlantis, in Klosterberg, boasts a sun terrace that looks out onto the rooftops of the Old Town, and offers lasagne, sea bass and amazing salads with refreshing watermelon to start. In Rebgasse is Volkshaus, a venue of art, music and food. Perfect for dinner, sit in the courtyard with a glass of wine and watch the fairy lights spark up as the sun goes down.

Ideal accommodation comes in the way of Adagio Apartments, just 10 minutes’ walk from the banks of the Rhine River. From two-person studios to one-bed apartments for four people, these are clean and comfortable rooms with a spacious bathroom and fully kitted kitchen. Book online through www.accorhotels.com, and if you find the same apartment on a cheaper site, they’ll reduce it

With so many surprises around every corner and each street different from the next, Basel is a dynamic city bursting with culture, cuisine and social activities to make it an ideal break from the norm.

Making for a great weekend away from London, it is simple and easy to get to Basel by train. Not only do you escape the long queues, waiting times and baggage restrictions of flying, you can also cater the trip to your liking with a stop in the affluent French city of Paris. Taking the Eurostar from London, it’s just over three hours to Gare du Nord and the bustling streets beyond. If you want to take a quick Paris tour, a novel way is to book a chauffeur taxi with 4 roues sous 1 parapluie.

With their cabbie hats and 2CVs, it’s a particularly charming mode of transport.

Using Voyages-sncf.com, you can split your rail journey as you wish and book your departure times to suit you. A standard class return from London to Paris starts at £69/$125pp and the same ticket from Paris to Basel from £44/$80. If a stop in Paris isn’t for you, you can simply change stations to arrive in Basel under seven hours after leaving London, of which fares start from £113/$204 standard class return.

To make the first step and book your train travel to Basel, head to www.voyages-sncf.com, and discover more about Basel at www.basel.com.

Wander through the Old Town to the bustling Barefoot Square. On a warm day, grab a palatecleansing gelato from one of the many vendors and sit on the steps of the Historisches Museum to watch the world go by. When day turns to night, head to one (if not all) of the watering holes on the outskirts of the square. Enjoy a pint of Ziegel Hof at Rio Bar or relax beneath the palm-tree parasols at Stockli. Café del Mar (in none other than Basel’s red light district) has amazing opening hours closing at 3am Monday – Thursday and 7am Friday – Sunday. Better yet, head downstairs and you’ll discover a gamer’s utopia of pool tables, foosball and arcade games to while away the hours with your closest friends. For drinks with

By Charlotte Mellor

The Old Town is where you’ll find all the action; shopping comes courtesy of Freie Strasse; bars, pubs and restaurants are as welcoming as your local back home and City Hall sees Marktplatz take place every day with food stalls selling local cuisine including fruit, chocolate and pretzels.

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Bull Shark Many attacks blamed on the great white are often a case of mistaken identity of the bull shark. Not only do they have a remarkable resemblance to the great white shark, while they are found more in deep bodies of water, they move around a lot and are sometimes in unexpected locations. This unpredictable nature makes them extremely dangerous. They are also very territorial, and this is often the reason given for why they attack people. Growing to 3.4metres, they can be found around the south-western, NSW and northern coastlines.

Saltwater Crocodile The largest reptile in the world, the saltwater crocodile lives wild in north Australia. With the potential to grow to lengths of seven metres and weigh nearly 1000kg, they are opportunistic predators with the ability to take down a one tonne buffalo. Crocodile skin used to be exported out of Australia, but this is illegal since they became a protected species in Oz. There are roughly two human deaths every year in Australia due to crocodile attacks.

Reef Stonefish

Australia’s Deadliest Critters Australia may be known for its cuddly marsupials such as the koala and the quokka, but it’s also the number one country in the world for deadly creatures. From poisonous fangs to great big gnashers, these are the deadliest animals in Australia that you should keep an eye out for during your travels.

Blending into its surroundings, the reef stonefish has a particularly nasty set of spines that can pierce through shoes and skin when an unsuspecting person walks through the water. It carries the most potent venom known in finned creatures, and results in excruciating pain as well as shock, paralysis, tissue death and even amputation of the limb.

Make sure you look out for them when strolling along the beach or paddling in the waters from Brisbane to Broome.

The second most toxic land snake in the world, the eastern brown snake is incredibly fast with a bad temper. Found in eastern Australia, when it bites, it releases venom that causes progressive paralysis and stops blood from clotting, causing victims to collapse after just a few minutes. While antivenom reverses its effects, it has killed more people in Australia than any other snake.

Redback Spider Recognisable for the red stripe on its back, the female redback is seen more regularly than its male counterpart, and produces a strong, messy web near the ground where she can hide her egg sac. Found in urban areas, in buildings, under furniture and tucked within stacked items, they rarely leave the security of their web and are not aggressive unless coerced, but their bite is poisonous enough to kill a dog, small child and the elderly.

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Eastern Brown Snake

Box Jellyfish

Get stung by one of these luminous giants and it will most certainly ruin your holiday.

Responsible for over 60 deaths since 1883, this is the most lethal creature on earth with venom so strong that victims can go immediately into shock and suffer a cardiac arrest within minutes. Tentacles can grow up to three metres in length, with about 15 on each corner of the box and carrying thousands of stinging cells. Stinging cells can be deactivated by pouring vinegar over them and then remove the tentacle, but if the victim goes into cardiac arrest, CPR is obviously a priority. They can be found in the oceans surrounding north Australia, and have been witnessed as far south as Exmouth, W.A.

Cane Toad

Spreading through the northern tropics of Australia, the cane toad has invaded faster than any other introduced animal – it’s even adapting to life in the dry areas of west Queensland and the dessert of the Northern Territory. Capable of poisoning their predators, they were originally brought to Australia to control the beetle population that in the sugarcane crops, but have since become pests themselves. In fact, it has become such an epidemic that scientists have tried to control the threat and are looking at ways to protect vulnerable wildlife.

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interviews

Jillionaire A producer and DJ eponymous with Caribbean rhythms mixed with heavy beats, Jillionaire is one of the creative minds behind the hottest summer club tunes, as well as part of the powerhouse that is Major Lazer. His massive single, ‘Fresh’, alongside Salvatore Ganacci and featuring Sanjin, was released in April 2014, while last year’s ‘Bubble Butt’ is still one of the biggest tunes to twerk to. With all this and more to discuss, we caught up with the man himself to find out about wild parties, musical influences and the biggest bubble butt you’ve ever seen.

Hi Jillionaire, how are you?

I just got out the shower, so I guess I’m ok.

Oh! What have you been up to?

Pretty busy; I flew from Vegas this morning and I go to Dubai in a couple of hours.

We’ve come to know you for massive beats and pumping basslines with Caribbean rhythms, is that an influence of growing up in Trinidad and Tobago?

Yeah, in Trinidad and Tobago carnival consumes six-eight months of our year and we have Calypso, Soca, and all these musical influences you grow up surrounded by. It is a big influence.

Are there any particular musicians or artists that have influenced you?

Honestly, for me there’s a lot of Pop music, so Madonna, Olivia Newton John, Boy George, Prince. The others are from my home town, so Bunji Garlin, Machel Montano, guys that I work with now were my inspiration coming up, I would see them move a crowd and I was like, “Wow, I want to move a crowd like that one day.”

Your remix of Beyoncé’s ‘Drunk In Love’ is one of the best we’ve heard. Can you tell us what you’re working on at the moment?

We’re working on a song with Kid Sister, we’ve got a song with Jovi Rockwell who’s a Jamaican singer that did a few features on the last two Major Lazer albums. We’re working on a remix with Afrojack and Snoop Dogg, and some local stuff with Bunji Garlin. Kind of all over the place, but we’re just trying to keep busy putting new stuff out there.

How do you decide what you work on?

Just whatever’s good and we get excited by. I work

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a lot with my production buddy, Richie Beretta, and we might say “we should work on this” so if it fits then we make it happen.

As well as producing, your live shows are crazy and you’ve become a really important part of Major Lazer; how did you come to join Diplo and the rest of the crew?

I met Diplo and M.I.A. and Switch during my second album and we all became friends and then when they started working on Major Lazer they hit me up. That was back in 2008 so we’ve been going hard now for the last six or seven years.

What’s the most outrageous thing to have happened during a set?

Somebody shot a gun at Cannes Film Festival while we were performing. There have been weird things like people jump on the stage and take all their clothes off.

There’s a picture of a girl from Russia on my Instagram, and she has the biggest, craziest bubble butt I’ve ever seen. It becomes part of my dreams at night sometimes.

You’ve now teamed up with Salvatore Ganacci on ‘Fresh’; will this be a regular partnership?

We’re working on some stuff with Afrojack and Jovi Rockwell, so we have a couple of things. He’s a nice guy and I like working with him so we’ll see what happens.

Apart from music, what are your other passions?

Right now, it’s pretty much just that. I’ve been so busy touring and working on new stuff. Unfortunately, I haven’t really had time to follow other passions. I’ve been trying to follow the World Cup action; I’m a big Holland fan so I’ve been watching the games. I’ve been busy doing something I really enjoy, and have a lot of fun doing, so I’m just doing that as much as possible.

“I just got out the shower, so I guess I’m ok”

Someone that was spotted at one of your gigs this year was Lindsay Lohan; was she a temporary member of Major Lazer?

I guess so, for the night. She kind of slipped into some pictures and just hung out. It was kind of weird but fun.

We’ve got to ask you about ‘Bubble Butt’; who and what were the inspirations behind it?

It was just something funny and experimenting with Pop music. What we do allows us to explore different formats. It was just like, having a bit of fun.

Who comes to mind when you think of a bubble butt?

Do you still own a bar?

No, I had to give that up in 2009. I wish I did. I might do one again.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

In Trinidad we eat a lot of strange stuff that people might not necessarily eat outside, like antelope and armadillo. Basically, if they can catch it in the woods and put some curry powder on it and eat it, they will. In terms of travelling, I ate like giant sea cockroaches in Australia, reindeer when I was in Finland. The thing about weird stuff is that, that’s just what they eat. Like, “holy shit, why would I want to eat reindeer?” But, if I live in Finland, that’s what I eat. If it looks good, I’ll try anything.

Duke Dumont One of the biggest names in Dance music right now, Duke Dumont is a serious contender for DJ and producer of the past year. With floorfillers like ‘Need U (100%)’ and 2014’s hottest summer track, ‘I Got U’, he is set to embark on a residency in the party capital of the world – Sankeys, Ibiza. We sat down with the Dance Pro to discuss his upcoming gig, partying at Coachella and the greatest Dance record of all time.

Hi Duke, where in the world are you right now?

I’m sat on the Eurostar with my tour manager, heading to Paris for a show tonight with Kiwi and Friend Within. The sun is shining and it’s looking good.

Duke Dumont is a household name in the UK; can you put into words what the last year has been like for you?

Busy! I can honestly say I had no expectations when I released ‘Need U’ last year so everything that’s come since I’m grateful for.

When writing and producing songs like ‘Need U (100%)’ and ‘I Got U’, do you have any idea that they’re going to be smash hits or do you make them intentionally for chart success?

When I record I never set off to make a song with chart possibility.

My approach is to build up a key element and expand on that. But since structuring some of my songs with more of a verse/chorus approach, it does give the track more chance in pop culture.

they all bring to the table.

we were going through the process, out of respect for Whitney we kept it as it was so totally different to the original song and offered a new dynamic.

have a pool party at the villa, just kick back and soak it all in.

Were there different versions and drafts of the track before the one we hear today?

Yes many. Over time it got more refined and we found sticking with key elements took us to the final stage and the track you hear now.

You had your first taste of Coachella in April, the US’s answer to Glastonbury; what was the atmosphere like? Is it really all celebrities, sandstorms and denim shorts?

With the exception of seeing Paris Hilton, it really is a fantastic event and seriously good vibes. I did see a small sandstorm too, but as I was in an airconditioned tent, it was a great position to just see what was going on.

How do you celebrate getting a number one?

My role is to record the music, but there’s a lot of other work that goes into making it a success so I celebrated with my team. I appreciate what

Your return to Ibiza this European summer is highly anticipated. Are you looking forward to it as much as everyone else?

Very much so. The intention is to put on one of the best parties on the Island this summer.

You’ll be bringing the Blasé Boys Club with you to Sankeys. Specifically who will be joining you from the label and what can the crowds expect from each act?

Jax Jones and Kiwi will be making their Ibiza debuts. And you can expect different things as they offer very different music selections. The other DJs are friends or people I’ve played with before… Shadow Child, Jonas Rathsman, French Express, Waze & Odyssey….

“With the exception of seeing Paris Hilton, Coachella really is a fantastic event” As label boss, is there

‘I Got U’ is a massive summer tune, what was your inspiration behind sampling Whitney Houston?

When Jax and I were working on it, we used the acapella as our starting point. The intention was to change it at the end and re-write the lyrics. But as

pressure on you to ensure each night is a success?

No, I have confidence in the DJs playing and I’ve worked with Sankeys for years. They’re all consummate professionals.

If you have a few days off, what will you be getting up to?

I’m definitely going to have a few days off. I might

What’s the most random item you take with you on your rider?

Food supplies from M&S. That’s been a real lifesaver at times.

How do festivals compare to clubs when it comes to Dance music and working the decks?

Do you get the same experience? Is it tougher to work the crowd?

You can’t really compare them because they’re totally different experiences and I like both.

Festivals can be awe-inspiring because of the size of the crowds but equally you can’t beat an intimate club night where everyone’s in the zone.

You’re no stranger to Australia, having played at Listen Out, Stereosonic and Pacha Sydney; when will we see you on our shores again?

There’s a tour planned – I’ll be back after the summer season is done. I promise.

Where did the name Duke Dumont come from?

I wanted an artist name that made a distinction between life and music. A name like Duke Dumont seemed pretty far off the life I was living at the time.

What would you rather: a cup of tea or a bottle of beer?

Tea with two sugars please.

Were there many musical influences when you were growing up?

My dad had loads of records but I always preferred my mum’s Motown collection, it was the soulful vocals that did it.

In your opinion, what is the greatest Dance record of all time?

That’s such a hard question. There are many great records I could name but I’m going to go with Frankie Knuckles ‘Your Love’.

What was the first single you bought?

It was either Bones Thugs N Harmony ‘Crossroads’ or Cypress Hill ‘Black Sunday’.

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The Acid Combine the production skills of Steve Nalepa and Adam Freeland with the vocals of Ry X, and you get The Acid, a group with the potential to change everything you thought you knew about music.

Releasing their debut album, ‘Liminal’ on 4th July, they’ve created a hypnotic 11-track body of work that can’t be pinned down by genre. Overcome with anticipation and curiosity, we grabbed some time with Adam to discuss how it all began and why this project is particularly special.

Hi Adam, how are you?

Great! It’s a lovely, sunny day in Brighton.

In your own words, can you describe who The Acid are?

It’s Ry, Steve (Nalepa) and I trying to make something interesting. It feels like it’s something beyond the sum of the three of us. It seems to have pulled us together; we didn’t plan it, it felt like some kind of entity that had its own agenda. It sort of happened without a thought.

Would you call it luck or fate that the three of you happened to be in the same place at the same time?

I don’t know if I really believe in luck, but it was some kind of weird synchronised happening that you couldn’t have ever manufactured, which is what feels special about it. A certain magic happened… if that makes sense!

The result is the 11-track body of work, ‘Liminal’. With each of your backgrounds and The Acid EP to go from, were there expectations of how the album would sound?

I think that was the beauty of it – we never really had time to have expectations. We didn’t have a plan, we just got together and got weird really, that was kind of our motto! What’s been really refreshing about it is that it wasn’t trying to be anything. It was the opposite to how I’ve written anything in the past. We just wanted to make something that felt good.

With the three of you, how was the production process?

Ry does all the singing – I do a little bit of backing vocals, but very little [Laughs]. Ry is the voice, y’know and has a lot of experience as a songwriter.

Steve’s like a studio nerd, he’s an amazing technician and very fast. And… I’m a bit of a studio nerd [Laughs]. We’re all quite accomplished in our craft which I think if we’d met at an earlier

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point down the line, we wouldn’t have been able to create so quickly. Malcolm Gladwell’s book, ‘Outliers’, talks about how magic things happen and a lot of it is a combination of knowing what you’re doing and that magic factor of being in the right place at the right time, and when those things combine, that’s what makes it really interesting.

Being so accomplished and experienced, was it difficult to work with two individuals that were just as involved in the music?

There were moments where egos were challenged, for sure. But, there wasn’t a lot of time to mess about and argue. We had a rule that if two of us liked it, it stayed, and if two of us didn’t, it didn’t. That was how we were going to do it.

The sound you’ve created is atmospheric and really pulses through your body. If the sound of ‘Liminal’ was a world, what sort of world would it create?

Oh my God, that’s a big question. ‘Liminal’ is the sort of space between things, where one thing ends and another begins. It’s in this liminal state where the conscious and the subconscious meet. It would be a world in another dimension, that you couldn’t really see and there’s nothing tangible about it, you could just feel its presence.

from a career I’d worked so hard on building. But the time I had was the best thing I ever did. I found a more interesting place within myself and was falling back in love with music again. It was after a year of not going on aeroplanes, which was a big deal! To meet Ry at the moment I did two days after I’d booked the studio with Steve, it felt like it was right. You couldn’t have planned it and to have tried to do this in the headspace I was in before, it would have been very different. I don’t think it would have worked.

Prior to the album’s release, the public have been able to hear ‘Creeper’ and ‘Fame’; what has the reaction been like?

I think it’s been good, amazing! I saw this as some kind interesting, underground thing. I wasn’t expecting it to connect on a bigger level. Because it’s kind of weird music!

Is that because of audiences’ styles and tastes changing?

It’s a combination of things – a zeitgeist. Although we weren’t trying to do it, it definitely feels like the right sound for this moment.

It’s been nice because we haven’t pushed it – it was up on Soundcloud for eight months before anything, we didn’t tell anyone. In a world where everything’s crammed down your throat, we’ve gone the opposite and trusted it and let people discover it. Seeing the reaction from the live tour, people really love it.

“There were moments where egos were challenged”

As someone that toured nonstop for over a decade, were you keen to have a project to get your teeth into?

It was interesting because I took some time out, I’d been touring a long time as a DJ and I felt like where the scene was going was quite different from where I wanted to be. It was getting harder and noisier and there were shorter attention spans.

To honour my own authentic creativity I just wanted to take a step back from touring and DJing and juts recalibrate. It was quite a gamble to do that – people were telling me I was crazy for backing off

Where have you toured so far?

London, Paris, Hamburg, Brussels, Berlin, Amsterdam – we’ve literally done seven gigs ever and they’ve all been in the last couple of weeks.

This summer we’ve got a lot of festivals around the UK and Europe, and we’re coming to Oz for Splendour In The Grass in Byron Bay and we’re doing Sydney and Melbourne sideshows.

UB40 There’s no doubt that UB40 played a huge role in bringing Reggae music into the mainstream in the 1980s, and the buzz surrounding the reformation of Ali, Astro and Mickey is evidence enough of the influence they still have on popular culture.

With a new album awaiting release and an Australian tour this December, we chatted to Mickey for his take on the comeback and how it feels to tour all these years on.

Whereabouts are you at the moment?

I’m in Birmingham.

Have you been enjoying the sunny weather?

You have to take it when you get it – it doesn’t happen very often! We’ve been doing a lot of outdoor shows, so it’s been nice. I think Glastonbury will be dry this year – for a change!

The news that Astro, Ali and yourself have reunited as UB40 has not only been exciting news for fans but also controversial as the band you all left are still touring; can you explain the situation?

The members that we left were all made bankrupt, so they don’t actually own anything; they don’t own the record catalogue, they don’t own the trademark. All of this is in the hands of a liquidator who we’re negotiating with, but it still doesn’t clarify the situation because no one has the right to the name UB40. We all individually have the right to use it, so we’re taking advantage of that fact, and at the moment it’s all still up in the air.

How does it feel for you guys to be back together again as UB40?

It’s just like the old days. It really doesn’t feel any different. The shows we’re doing, most of the songs we’re doing are UB40 songs, it hasn’t been any kind of problem.

It’s been like putting on an old pair of shoes. The musicians we have supporting us are all the crème de la crème, so the shows have been getting great reviews and everybody’s really happy with the way it’s going.

We’ve got a couple of records in the offing, and we’re looking forward to coming down to Australia again and having a great time as we always do.

You said that it’s been like slipping on an old pair of shows, but you’ve been touring for over 30 years; how has it changed since the early ‘80s?

When we started we were generally in the back of a transit van with all the gear, driving up and down the motorways, so in that respect things have moved on a little bit! It’s not quite as rough as it used to be. We can travel quite well now and stop in nice hotels, but touring is always quite frantic anyway, we generally don’t have much time to hang out, but it’s a lot easier now – thankfully – I don’t think I could go back to the old days!

What sort of luxuries do you take with you?

Decaffeinated teabags, a CD player so I can play music. That’s about it really.

Who would you say was the biggest diva out of the three of you?

I suppose it would have to be Ali, because of the amount of attention he tends to attract [Laughs].

The UB40 name is highly associated with Reggae and you’re clearly proud to be creating it with your most recent track, ‘Reggae Music’; how has your love for that sound continued?

It was always the plan; the whole reason the band ever came into existence was because we wanted to promote Reggae music. Back when we were younger, Reggae music didn’t really get much airplay, so we set out to reverse that trend and I think we managed it to a certain extent. The main push was to promote it so people around the world could enjoy what we were enjoying.

“It’s been like putting on an old pair of shoes”

So when ‘Red Red Wine’ and ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’ did so well, were you doing that for Reggae music?

The original push was that we loved the music so much, we never understood why these classic tracks had never been successful. We

managed to turn that around with the Labour Of Love series.

What do you think about Reggae and its presence in British music today?

Worldwide, it’s a very young music; it used to be Ska, but around the mid-‘60s, Reggae became the most popular form and in that respect it’s a very young form of music but its influence has been great. If you look at Hip-Hop, Reggae predates all of that, and it’s a massive influence on that style and the way records are mixed today. Things we take for granted were unknown before Reggae music came on the scene. I would say it’s one of the most influential musics out there.

All the material that you brought out in the ‘70s and ‘80s, it’s still relevant to this day in terms of popular music…

Yeah, a good song is a good song; generally time tends to weed out the weaker tunes from the strong ones.

Do they still play a big part in the live shows?

Oh yes, I think there’d be riots if there were certain tunes that we didn’t play. There are tunes that we’d love to play but can’t because we don’t have access to Chrissie Hynde, but generally most of the shows have a lot of Labour Of Love material.

We’ve had so many hits that someone’s always going to be disappointed, but on the whole, we tend to play the right tracks.

You’ve brought out ‘Reggae Music’ as a taster of the full album. Has the album been completed yet?

It is completed, there’s a lot of haggling going on about releasing it, but it is ready to go. It’s a bit frustrating for all of us; it would have been nice to have something out there, but I’m sure by the time we reach Australia, it’ll be out there.

Thanks for your time, Mickey!

Interviews by Charlotte Mellor

Hi Mickey, how are you?

Great!

www.bbmlive.com 33

music news

LO-FANG Liverpool-born, London-based songstress, Jetta, has lived and breathed music from a young age. Taking her parents’ influence as musicians, her first gig in a hometown bar transported her to a world where she ended up backing the likes of Paloma Faith and Cee Lo Green, before releasing ‘Start A Riot’.

Her soulful wail paired with unashamed Pop and shimmers of Soul has seen her sign to major labels on both sides of the Atlantic – LAVA/Republic Records in the United States and Polydor in the UK. Similar to the likes of Florence Welch, The XX and Adele, it’s no wonder she’s been making waves underground and quickly risen into the mainstream. Jetta released the much talked-about ‘Crescendo EP’ just this month, which is expected to see her rise even further into the spotlight.

Touring the UK alongside John Newman in October 2014, Jetta is well on her way to stardom. With her wild hair, addictive tones and hypnotic stage presence, there’s no doubt that she fits the role. She claims that if she weren’t doing this, she’d be an astronaut. Thank God she chose music.

Ones To Watch REAL LIES Emerging in 2013, Real Lies embodies what it is to be young. The London trio is being heralded as a brave new voice in Electronic Pop and a recreation of the sound of the early 90’s Manchester Dance scene.

Breaking onto the scene with ‘Deeper’ and ‘World Peace’, tracks that distinctively combine surging bass with mellow undertones, Real Lies are the epitome of London. With a Local Hero-produced track entitled ‘North Circular’, an ode to the 25.7-mile stretch of road that crosses North London, Real Lies have already made a name for themselves evoking a heady combination of suburban dreams and urban realities.

With a video by filmmaker Rollo Jackson, a debut AA-sided vinyl single on Marathon Artists and a string of riotous first live shows, Real Lies are just about set to take over with their incredible sound.

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Having recently supported Lorde on a US tour, classically trained musician Lo-Fang, A.K.A Matthew Hemerlein, is fluent in almost every genre that exists.

His debut album ‘Blue Film’ saw Hemerlein collaborate with Grammy awardwinning producer Gotye, which ultimately saw the record gain huge success.

Los Angeles base Lo-Fang wrote ‘Blue Film’ while traveling around the world and across the United States over the last three years. His passion for making music led him to pick up and play with musicians in Cambodia, Bali, London, Nashville, Tokyo, and other points along the way. Songs were written in transit, in hotel rooms, and anywhere the moment inspired him.

With training in violin, cello, bass piano and guitar Lo-Fang brings complexity and depth to an electro-pop, R&B influenced sound. Having just played some UK dates, Lo-Fang is set to take over the world with his incredible music. Keep your eyes peeled!

MNEK Every Little Word Having already written tracks for the likes of Duke Dumont and Rudimental, there’s no wonder Grammy nominated singer songwriter MNEK’s latest single ‘Every Little Word’ is his leap forward into Pop. Having just signed to Virgin EMI Records at the age of 19, British born MNEK is making heads turn with his unbelievable talent. ‘Every Little Word’ is MNEK’s nod to 90s Pop, with thumping bass, funky synth and Daft Punk-esque vocoder vocals.

Another notable quality of ‘Every Little Word’ is MNEK’s incredible voice. Full of soulfulness, the melodic ranges define the track and ultimately set MNEK apart from anything you’ve heard recently. ‘Every Little Word’ is a mixture of smoothness and thump, a combination that his flawless production abilities have perfected. If ‘Every Little Word’ is a sample of the Groove-infused skills MNEK has to offer, then consider us fans for life. Plus, he has a spectacular high top fade haircut.

Secondcity I Wanna Feel Born in Chicago and raised in the UK, Secondcity is a name you’ll be hearing a lot of this year. Having established himself as a new up and coming Electronic artist and a rising DJ, Secondcity’s single ‘I Wanna Feel’ is gracing the airwaves internationally.

Having already collaborated with Route 94 and had his career backed by the likes of Disclosure, Secondcity has not only gained a large online following, but has also created his own unique sound for which he’s instantly being recognised for. ‘I Wanna Feel’ incorporates Secondcity’s cultural background, a blend of Deep House and UK Garage beats. Sampling Toni Braxton’s 1996 hit ‘You’re Makin’ Me High’ contributes to the 90’s Dance sound and creates an addictively catchy hook to the track. Having accumulated three million views on YouTube, and reached number one in the UK, ‘I Wanna Feel’ is a timeless track that is sure to follow big things for Secondcity.

Wild Beasts A Simple Beautiful Truth Applauded as their best album yet, Wild Beasts’ fourth studio album ‘Present Tense’ has no shortage of excellence. Single ‘A Simple Beautiful Truth’ is no exception to the success of the LP from the UK quartet.

Living up to the praise of their previous records, including ‘Two Dancers’ which was nominated for the Mercury Prize, Wild Beasts’ ‘Present Tense’ has seen the group garner universal acclaim.

Known for their raw but exciting sound, ‘A Simple Beautiful Truth’ is not only flawless musically, but lyrically it sounds as smooth as silk.

“There’s a beauty out there, you just gotta know where” vocalist Hayden Thorpe harmonizes under weaving synths. With an absolutely brilliant accompanying video (think four men donning electric suits choreographically dancing on top of a Welsh mountain) Wild Beasts have once again proved their ability to create varied, unique and contemporary music.

Compilation Review Swiss DJ and producer Sam Geiser A.K.A Deetron has mixed the latest instalment of fabric’s long running series.

It comes at a time when the House and Techno specialist is riding high off the success of recent full-length album, ‘Music Over Matter’.

Based in his hometown of Bern in Switzerland, Deetron has made an international name for himself as a producer of sleek, well honed House and Techno with a classicist bent. Releasing most often on Music Man, the Belgian label with which he has a close relationship, his first release came as far back as 1997 as part of a compilation on Axodya Records.

Deetron says of fabric 76, “I basically followed the pleasure principle when approaching the mix.

I started to pick my favourite pieces of dance music regardless of age or sub-genre and didn’t really begin to structure the mix until all the tracks had been cleared, except for one. So as I began to throw the tracks together as spontaneously as possible, the structure of the mix began to take shape. I did a single take before I recorded the final version of the mix as it is now in order to keep it as lively and representative of a live DJ set as possible. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed myself as much working on a mix in the studio before!”

The mix starts off with a carnival feel that eventually turns into a bass ridden haunting trip through the intricacies of Deetron’s musical tastes. There’s everything from classic Chicago material by DJ Sneak and Gemini to material from Detroit stalwart Carl Craig via leftfield inclusions from Atoms For Peace. As well as some old classics there are modern gems from the fast rising likes of Marquis Hawkes and Seven Davis Jr, plus no nonsense Techno inclusions from pioneers like Function and Marcel Dettmann. A truly kaleidoscopic mix, fabric 76 is the sound of a DJ digging deep, having fun, and playing those tracks in Deetron’s distinctive style. Out Now.

Top Podcasts, Radio & Sets Lifted Music Show: Drum & Bass 2014 Venture on a sonic journey with tastemaker and ‘DJ’s DJ’ Chris Renegade, as he treats you to 40 minutes of the freshest future classics in Drum and Bass and other electronic music genres.

Featuring a mixture of news, competitions and special features like the ‘Influential Classic’ and Chris’ new talent showcase: The Demolition Room, this podcast is jam-packed full of new Dance music just waiting to be discovered.

Available on iTunes.

Ultra Music Festival 2014 Live Sets (Miami, FL) Wishing you could’ve caught sets from the likes of Deadmau5, Tiesto, Eric Prydz and Martin Garrix at Ultra Music Fest 2014? Well now you can feel like you were really there, with live sets available from the aforementioned, and more on SoundCloud, feel the atmosphere from Miami’s hottest festival through your speakers from the comfort of your room, as you enjoy some of the best talent live from your sofa.

Available at: www.soundcloud.com/umf2014sets/ sets/ultra-music-festival-2014

Group Therapy Radio with Above & Beyond Coming in at an impressive second place on the iTunes podcast chart right now, British Trance legends Above & Beyond introduce to you Group Therapy: their weekly radio show bringing you a variety of progressive Trance mash-ups.

With each episode different from the last, every instalment is a whopping two hours long, ensuring that your levels will be kept topped up until the following week!

Available on iTunes.

Hospital Records Podcast London Elektricity hosts Hospital Records’ awardwinning podcast, offering up the hottest Jungle, Drum and Bass and Dubstep beats on the scene right now. Featuring current news from the world of the UK-based label, the podcast also includes unsigned tracks and fresh new talent, songs from artists signed to Hospital and even information about upcoming Hospitality events.

Available on iTunes.

Carl Cox – Global 586 Legendary House DJ and producer Carl Cox presents Global 586: a collection of tracks recorded live at Culture Club Revelin in Dubrovnik, Croatia. Ranking at number 1 in the EDM chart, number 2 in the Tech House and Electronica charts and third in the Techno chart, this is certainly a set not to be missed.

Available at: www.mixcloud.com/CarlCox/carl-coxglobal-586/

By Alana Anderson & Chelsea Forsyth

Single Reviews

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Album Reviews

Clean Bandit ‘New Eyes’ Having met while studying at the University of Cambridge, Jack Patterson, Grace Chatto, Luke Patterson and Neil Amin-Smith, or Clean Bandit as they’re more commonly known, have already made a name for themselves for their unique fusion of Electronic, Classical and Deep-House. Now, with the release of their debut album ‘New Eyes’, the quartet have transformed into mavericks of their craft.

Having received extreme success earlier this year with ‘Rather Be’ featuring vocals from Jess Glynne (a track that holds the record for most Spotify streams in a single week, surpassing Daft Punk’s ‘Get Lucky’), you could say 2014 is very much Clean Bandit’s year. ‘Mozart’s House’ features Clean Bandit’s strengths in combining two genres that don’t correlate whatsoever - somehow they make it work incredibly well. Not a lot of artists can just throw Mozart’s ‘String Quartet No. 21’ over thumping bass lines and get away with it.

With summer jam ‘Extraordinary’ featuring Sharna Bass still riding high in the charts, it seems as if Clean Bandit have no problem with producing a good hit and ultimately means their genre crossover needs absolutely no justification. The success of ‘New Eyes’ can also be attributed to the large catalogue of collaborations Clean Bandit has worked with on this album. Love Ssega, Noonie Bao, Stylo G, Nikki Cislyn, Javeon and Kandaka Moore - to name a few.

Not only does Clean Bandit manage to squeeze Classical and Electronic into the 12-track album, but you also hear hints of Hip-Hop and Garage.

Not bad for a self-produced group that was once considered a “joke” by many record labels.

Ultimately, despite the opening words of the album, “So you think Electro music is boring, it’s stupid, it’s repetitive? Well, it is repetitive”, ‘New Eyes’ is far from that, the polar opposite of cliché.

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Ed Sheeran ‘x’ Let’s face it, there’s something overwhelmingly appealing about Ed Sheeran. Whether it’s his velvet-smooth melodic deliveries, or his humble self-taught, self-promoting breakout into multiplatinum selling stardom, Sheeran, armed with an acoustic guitar and a little help from a host of well-known producers shows us quite the eclectic mix on latest album ‘x’.

It’s hard to believe that, in a short amount of time, 23-year-old, West-Yorkshire born Ed Sheeran went from selling his CD’s out of his backpack to being recognized by the likes of Jamie Foxx and Elton John.Surprisingly not falling short on ‘x’ is Sheeran’s rapping proficiency, which weaves throughout the album beneath his renowned singalong love songs, which his hordes of admirers are used to. Lead single, ‘Sing’, is evidently Sheeran’s nod to R&B, a Justin Timberlake circa ‘Justified’ sound collaborated with chart-king Pharrell Williams. Timeless ballad ‘Photograph’, written with Johnny McDaid while on tour with Snow Patrol, is sure to be Sheeran’s 2014 interpretation of Robbie Williams’ ‘Angels’. You can already sense the stadiums full of intricate and emotive sing-alongs.

‘Thinking Out Loud’, written in Sheeran’s kitchen, is lyrically joyful. A soul-infused celebration of love which thematically matches the sleekness of Sheeran’s vocals.

Produced by Benny Blanco and Rick Rubin, ‘Don’t’, is the story of a cheating girlfriend.

Originally set to be the first single from the album, the song almost didn’t make the cut, as Sheeran felt it was “a bit personal”. However, listening to ‘x’ you certainly gain some insight into Sheeran’s love life, without being overwhelmed with sugary, overly sentimental sappiness. ‘x’ is easily some of Sheeran’s best work yet. His dedication is justified with his ability to conquer any genre he indulges in, including his acoustic compositions for which he’s already mastered.

Lana Del Rey ‘Ultraviolence’ The chances of hearing another Lana Del Rey album were once slim. Disappointment ensued when the American singer announced to Vogue that she “didn’t think she’d write another record” after the triumph of her 2012 album ‘Born To Die’.

But low and behold, that beautiful voice is gracing our speakers again with highly anticipated third studio album ‘Ultraviolence’ – a term spawned from Anthony Burgess’s ‘A Clockwork Orange’.

As soon as ‘Ultraviolence’ opens, there’s a new sense of confidence in Del Rey’s voice – the kind of cinematic melody that makes her delivery so instantly recognizable and unique. With some production help from Black Keys front man Dan Auerbach, the album fuses memorable guitar riffs with melodious and stylized vocals. Notably on opening track ‘Cruel World’, a six and a half minute hint of the dark iconography that is set unfold throughout the album.

Although the subtle Hip Hop undertones that Del Rey featured on ‘Born To Die’ don’t appear until the closing track of the album, ‘Ultraviolence’ sounds notably polished. Lyrically, the album is noticeably more mature, with 1950s referencing and a nod to the late Lou Reed on ‘Brooklyn Baby’ (Del Rey revealed she flew out to work with Reed on this album on the morning of his death). However, those familiar drug, sex, money and power lyrics do weave throughout the album – including a track entitled ‘Fucked My Way Up To The Top’.

“Down on the West Coast, they got their icons, their silver starlets, their Queens of Saigon”, Del Rey harmonizes on single ‘West Coast’, a bluesy and sultry track that intensely builds up beyond the hazy chorus.

Overall, ‘Ultraviolence’ doesn’t diminish any of the hype that has surrounded Del Rey since she burst onto the music scene. The darkness, the inspiration and the vocals alone make the album well worth the wait.

funny news

A Life’s Dedication To Meditation An Indian guru is close to smashing Jesus Christ’s record for the number of days spent dead before coming back to life.

His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj was pronounced clinically dead by doctors in January, but like some

twisted version of Monty Python’s parrot sketch, his disciples insist he’s not dead, he’s just reached the deepest level of meditation ever achieved and will spring back to life in a matter days.

Expecting their master’s imminent return to earthly consciousness, Maharaj’s devotees have stored his body in a commercial freezer to simulate the freezing Himalayan environment they believe is the traditional setting for yogis who reach this ultimate stage of transcendence. It probably helps with the smell, too.

“We are very certain that he is alive and we believe he will be coming back to us very soon,” a deluded young male disciple dressed in army fatigues said outside one of the yogi’s meditation centres in south Delhi.

But while his believers have unwavering faith in his resurrection, some more cynical people have suggested the real reason they refuse to admit

to his death is because they fear their religion will fall apart without his decomposing hand to guide them.

The guru’s wife and son, with whom he had been estranged for decades, share a more orthodox diagnosis of the renowned spiritual leader’s inanimate state.

“He is dead,” says S.P. Soi, the lawyer representing the family. “He has been lying in a freezer for the last four and a half months!

“If people believe he is alive, then people will keep giving money. If he is dead, then they are afraid there is no way to keep the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan movement alive.”

But like a spiritual version of Weekend at Bernies, Maharaj’s followers are steadfastly refusing to accept the facts – which technically makes it just like every other world religion.

“How could anyone possibly suggest the cremation of a living saint who has achieved samadhi,” said Maharaj’s aide. “Let us instead wait for him to wake up and speak to us of his journey.”

We get the feeling they could be waiting a long time…

a fishy love story As the wise German philosopher and thinker Friedrich Nietzsche once said in his essay “Der Wille Zur Macht” (The Will to Power) in 1901: “Every hole’s a goal”.

We think it was Nietzsche who said it anyway – if it wasn’t him it might have been Finchy from The Office.

Whoever it was, the old motto certainly applies to a dolphin researcher, who possibly counts blowholes among the “orifices” available to a would-be lover, after revealing that some of the frisky mammals got fresh with her as she studied them.

As part of her research back in the 60s, Margaret Howe Lovatt flooded a house knee-deep with water (no, really), allowing “Peter the dolphin” to eat, bathe and sleep with her.

Almost inevitably, the pair became close. Possibly too close.

“Peter liked to be…with me,” said Lovatt. “He would rub himself on my knee, my foot or my hand and I allowed that. I wasn’t uncomfortable – as long as it wasn’t too rough.”

But dolphin-dating Margaret was quick to point out that she was not an active participant in anything sexual with Peter – which kind of makes it sound like she was sexually assaulted by a fish.

“It was sexual on his part – it was not sexual on mine, sensuous perhaps. I was there to get to know Peter, that was part of Peter,” she said while imagining his throbbing bottlenose pressed against her.

And if that doesn’t sound dodgy enough, the experiment was eventually banned after another researcher injected two dolphins with LSD. Bloody hippies.

Sadly, Peter the dolphin and Margaret broke up after the experiment, with Peter claiming personal hygiene was an issue. “I usually love the smell of fresh fish,” he squeaked while balancing a beach ball on his nose. “But she really needed a wash down there.”

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Celebrity Tweets Here we help translate the literary treats published by the wonderful celebrities that grace the Twittersphere with their presence... @MileyCyrus “wigged woting wis wack wust wayin” What the actual fuck?

@WayneRooney “Play every game like it’s your last”

Does that mean you’re never going to die?

@JonahHill “Thinking about becoming a whole foods masseuse”

Does that involve eating? We hear you’re very good at eating.

@KhloeKardashian “A little fro-yo bribe won’t hurt a soul” Your voice hurts our soul.

@NiallOfficial “Waking up with a sore throat is not where it’s at !”

Walls Have Ears In A Share House Living in a share house can lead to a lot of tension between otherwise good friends.

For example, when BBM was dumped by our last girlfriend for another man, she said she hoped we could stay friends and remain close – yet a few months later, when she found out we’d been hiding in her attic for four weeks, she was livid.

And that was before she found out about the webcam.

But restraining orders aside, the point remains that when you’re living with someone, that person’s harmless habits can become incredibly annoying when you have to put up with them constantly. Usually it leads to an argument and a roster for the washing up, but in the case of housemates Gareth Chip and Steven Brown in Sunderland, things escalated a little quicker.

Chip, apparently, had left some food in the oven to cook but when he came out to check how it was going, he was annoyed to discover his housemate had turned the dial down. In the resulting argument, Chip cut off part of Brown’s ear.

“The defendant followed Mr Brown with a kitchen knife and made a threat he was going to ‘stick this into you’,” prosecutor Michael Hodson told Newcastle Crown Court. “The defendant said ‘I will take the rest of your ear off and I will stab you’. Luckily, he didn’t.”

Ironically, the only reason Brown had turned the temperature down was because the food was burning. So much for trying to be helpful. Still, if there’s a lesson to be learned here it’s that if you do have to move in with someone else, try to make sure they’re not a homicidal maniac.

So, that’s what you do during quality time with Harry? It all makes sense now.

@MissKatiePrice “Just a reminder jane pountney is a ugly tramp and home wrecker, keep her away from your husband or boyfriend ,s***”

So this isn’t a PR stunt? Granted, Katie Price is fitter.

Driven By Carnal Urges

Link Between Eating Vegetables And Having A Stroke A bloke in Canada has been caught masturbating in a public library while holding a cucumber – and it’s not for the first time either. Serial salad stroker Fredrick Tennyson Davis, 49, was at the Agincourt Library in Toronto, when he was spotted by staff, who immediately recognised him from the previous incident in April. “He sits down and a 26-year-old woman sits next to him and he opens up his laptop,” Constable David Hopkinson said.

The man then started masturbating with one hand while clutching a cucumber with the other, Hopkinson added. Clearly all that masturbating must be hungry work – and at least he’s gone for a healthy option.

When pressed as to whether Mr Davis had posed a threat to library staff, Constable Hopkinson said: “I don’t think he had any free hands to make a threat.”

A sexually adventurous trio in China who got deep down and dirty in a parked car were given an impromptu lesson on the importance of protection last month: always make sure the handbrake is on.

The two girls and guy were in the middle of getting jiggy with it when the lucky fella accidentally knocked the handbrake off mid-pump and the car began to roll down a hill.

It eventually crashed into a tree while the trio were still in flagrante.

A police spokesperson confirmed that ‘carnal knowledge’ had been occurring inside the vehicle.

“The driver is being investigated for lewd acts in a public place,” said the spokesperson. “As the women will be when they are fit enough to answer charges.”

Car crashes and porn: if nothing else, at least it gives Bernie Ecclestone another option in his quest to make Formula One more exciting.

Sea Monster Turns Out To Be Virgin Have you seen the new Godzilla movie? Well anything the Americans can do, the Brits can do shitter after a 25-foot sea monster with Richard Branson’s face appeared on the coast of Bournemouth last month.

If that isn’t enough to scare you into paying your mobile phone bill, nothing will.

The sculpture, which is in the sea just east of Bournemouth Pier, initially baffled south coast locals, until it was revealed to be part of a Virgin Media PR stunt.

Richard Larcombe from Virgin Media said: ‘We wanted our market-beating quad-play bundle to make a big entrance so naturally we thought what better way than having a giant Big Kahuna monster literally bringing it to the shores of the UK.” It took a team of sculptors more than 500 hours to design and produce the creature – with 400 hours being used to capture the likeness of Branson’s uniquely crap facial hair.

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sports news

Home Truth For Hamilton The average sports fan knows only two things about Lewis Hamilton. The first is that he earns a lot of money by driving round and round in circles really fast. The other is that he’s diddling that lass from the Pussycat Dolls.

Onya Bike Lad: Yorkshire Unhappy With French Tour

Jeremy Clarkson. Mel B. Geoffrey Boycott. Yorkshire’s production line of famous people reads like a who’s who of Britain’s biggest arseholes. And we’ve not even mentioned Jimmy Savile.

But this month, the nation’s most tight-fisted county is set to become famous for more than just a few shit football clubs and the world’s most underwhelming pudding when the Tour de France kicks off in Leeds. And no, we don’t understand why a French cycling race always starts in another country either. Still, it’s a chance for Yorkshire to show its cultured side and shed the image of the flat-cap wearing whippet owner who moans about how much things cost.

Alas, this has been undermined slightly by the Yorkshire Evening Post constantly moaning about the overall cost of staging the event and the price of tickets for the opening ceremony.

“These events are traditionally free. With the exception of the one in 2011 they do not charge people for these things,” whined Philip McDonald, a sociology of sport lecturer at Leeds Trinity University, about the $45 to $85 tickets. “It does seem otherwise free events are being priced out of the range of the majority of families.”

The paper has also taken aim at the cost of the event, variously claiming that Leeds City Council has spent $2.5million, $3.2million and $4.5million on it.

“The whole thing is a con. What did you expect?” said one angry reader, possibly while drinking stout. Another added: “Rip-off Britain is alive and well!”

Well, as part of BBM’s endless quest to both entertain and enlighten our millions of mildly autistic readers, we bring you a third Lewis Hamilton fact: he was born and raised in Stevenage – a place so dull that BBM doesn’t even know where it is.

In fact, the best we can do, after deciding to ask around BBM Towers instead of using Google, is that apparently it’s: “Some shithole down London way”.

And according to Hamilton, we’re at least half right.

“I come from a not-great place in Stevenage and lived on a couch in my dad’s apartment,” Hamilton mumbled while motor-boating Nicole Shitsinger’s breasts.

“And Nico [Rosberg] grew up in Monaco with jets and hotels and boats and all these kinds of things – so the hunger is different.”

Apparently this baffling refusal to accept Stevenage as the Monaco of the UK did not go down well with the local residents.

“I can’t see how he can say such things about the place where he grew up,” councillor Phillip Bibby swooned. “He needs to remember his roots. His comments are unfair.”

Sharon Taylor - Stevenage Borough Council’s leader - said: “Of course we are very proud of Lewis – he’s an incredible example of what people from Stevenage can do. But it would be a lot better if he could speak up for the place he comes from. We would love to talk to him about promoting the town.”

Good luck with that, Sharon.

Anyway, if any readers know where Stevenage is, email the answer to BBM Towers with the title “Shithole competition”. A free copy of BBM is up for grabs to the winner.

Of course, the tourism and cultural benefits the tour will bring to the area have been completely overlooked, presumably because locals are angry that the money wasn’t used to pay for another four series of Last of the Summer Wine.

And if the cyclists get a little saddle sore between the cheeks, they’d best not ask for some “arse cream” in Yorkshire or they’ll be handed a Cornetto.

Honest Idiot’s Pedantic Penalty Call

When BBM was a lederhosen-clad youngster growing up in the Bavarian village of Shnickelbaum, our Papa taught us one very important lesson about sport: “There’s nothing wrong with cheating if you don’t get caught.”

At least that’s what he told us as he zipped up his pants just after we’d walked in on him competing in a nude wrestling match with Mrs Roosburg from next door. Happy memories – although he

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expressly forbade us from ever speaking of it again.

As a result, BBM has never been one to be weighed down by morals when it comes to winning at sport; whether it’s diving in the area to win a penalty or “accidentally” hitting your eight-year-old nephew in the face while playing Wii tennis, we’ve been there, done that and stolen the T-shirt.

Alas, not every man is lucky enough to have a father who is as adept at dispensing wisdom as he is at wrestling women in the nude – and one such man is amateur golfer Jason Millard.

Millard’s dream was to qualify for the US Open – a dream that became a reality last month at an event in Memphis.

All was well for a few days until, remarkably, Millard disqualified himself by ringing up the US PGA and informing them he had incurred a minor penalty on his round that wasn’t included in his score. Even more remarkably, he still doesn’t know if he actually committed the penalty at all. “I think I may have grounded my club in the bunker,” Millard said. “I didn’t see anything for sure but I felt something and I saw a small indentation.

“I really don’t know 100%, but I couldn’t find peace about it. For five days I practised and I couldn’t get it off my mind. I thought about it every single second of the day. It ate away inside of me.”

If only BBM’s dad were here to laugh at the honest idiot – but sadly he died several years ago from syphilis.

Highlands’ Last Fling With the vote for national independence just a few months away, this could well be Scotland’s last chance to celebrate any kind of sporting success that doesn’t involve perennial scowler Andy Murray.

What else ama supposd tae eat wi mi whiskey at breakfast?”

Well it’s a bit late for that innit, ya filthy Scots!

You’ve been supping on the teat of Mother England for too long; it’s time you learnt how to fend for yourselves. Why can’t you be a good little boy like Wales? You never hear any moaning from them, and they had two teams in the Premier League last year!

Considering the state of their national rugby and football teams, they could be waiting a while for any team-based triumph after they exit TeamGB. If only alcoholism was a sport. Still there’s always curling.

But, as we were saying, it’s the Commonwealth Games this month and disaster has struck the Australian camp. Apparently their official uniform is a bit pants.

Or they could, of course, change their traditional diet of fried Mars Bars and Irn-Bru to something a little more conducive to a sporty lifestyle. We can almost imagine the outrage north of the border: “Och nae! Ye cannae tek ma wee haggis!

More than 15,000 people polled by the Daily Telegraph said the green and gold kit was ugly, The Australian likened the official knitwear to “nanna jumpers”, and Elle Australia’s deputy editor Damien Woolnough remarked that the uniforms were an example of “why Olympians used to

Bristol Baffles With Sporting Struggles

From its football clubs to its rugby team, the reason for Bristol’s shitness at sport remains a mystery.

Some point to a report late last year that showed the city has the worst sporting facilities of any major British city. Others say it’s because the city is too close to Wales, and some of their shitness has rubbed off via osmosis. If Ian Holloway had been born anywhere else he’d probably have been leading England to the World Cup. But whatever the reason for Bristol’s cackness, the point was rammed home again last month when the city’s megabucks rugby club failed to win promotion to the Premiership after losing 36-28 over two legs in a play-off with London Welsh. This came just after Bristol Rovers had been relegated from the Football League.

For the fifth biggest city in the UK (ahead of Manchester), it’s pretty shocking – although admittedly, the city does come top of the hilarious British accents list, just pipping the Brummies.

“Bristol is desperately in need of new sporting facilities but attempts to deliver these are being constantly thwarted,” ooo-aahed Jeremy Richards, who works for a research company looking into Bristol’s awfulness. “Our sports clubs are experiencing uphill battles in their desperate quest to deliver new facilities – witnessed in the recent past with Bristol City and Gloucestershire Cricket, and now Bristol Rovers appear to be experiencing yet another barrier.”

Maybe one day the riddle of Bristol’s sporting suffering will be solved, but for now, it seems, those West Country boys should stick to what they’re good at – drinking cider and inbreeding.

perform naked”. Someone should definitely pass that last suggestion on to Stephanie Rice. Personally, we think it looks like Kermit the frog vomited on someone after too much spaghetti.

“The woolly jumper looks like the design worn by the Where’s Wally character in children’s books. This time it’s lime green to ensure everyone will find you - like it or not,” said Prue Lewington, fashion editor for the Daily Telegraph.

Mayor’s Major Meltdown On Ice

It’s all too easy for sports commentators to get carried away and say something they shouldn’t in the excitement of the moment.

Whether it’s Ron Atkinson criticising Marcel Desailly with highly offensive racist language, or Andy Gray telling a lineswoman to get back in the kitchen, there’s just something about the thrill of sport that gets the blood flowing and the mouth moving. Unless your name is Phil Neville.

And it all proved a bit too much for the usually taciturn mayor of LA when the city’s team won ice hockey’s Stanley Cup last month.

Having shed his pinstriped suit of choice for a hockey jersey, Mayor Eric Garcetti stepped in front of the TV cameras and a full house at Staples Center, where the Los Angeles Kings had won the championship just three days before, to address the city.

“There are two rules in politics,” Garcetti told the 19,000 fans celebrating victory. “They say never ever be pictured with a drink in your hand. And never ever swear.

Then he added dramatically: “But this is a big fucking day! Way to go, guys.”

Within minutes, Garcetti’s remarks were trending on Twitter and appearing uncensored on YouTube, just as Fox Sports West was apologising for letting them get on the air. Frankly, we were hoping he’d say: “There are two rules in politics – you do not talk about fight club” before beating the shit out of Edward Norton.

“When you’re an elected official, people have a higher expectation for your speech, your conduct and context than they would if you’re an entertainer,” said Thomas Hollihan, an expert on political discourse at the University of Southern California. He clearly hasn’t met Boris Johnson.

By Richard Gadsby

It seems somehow fitting that this month’s Commonwealth Games should be held in Glasgow.

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Crystal balls

HOROSCOPES CANCER

You accidentally get on the wrong train at Town Hall and end up on the Hogwarts Express with Harry Potter, Hermione, Ron, that weird Irish bird, Robbie Coltrane and, erm, Gandalf. Feeling left out by their magical antics, you decide to get involved by offering Ron, Harry and Hermione a few drinks of your magic happy potion – which is actually just a bottle of whiskey you bought from Liquor Land. All three get blind drunk, one thing leads to another, and the friends are expelled from Hogwarts after Harry vomits on Dumbledore and Draco Malfoy spots Hermione wanking Ron off in the train toilets.

PISCES

After frequently referring to the Ivory Coast as this year’s dark horses at the World Cup, you are arrested and charged under the Racial Discrimination Act.

CAPRICORN

Whoops! You compliment your mate’s new girlfriend on her human beat-box skills but it turns out she just has a very bad stutter.

ARIES

Using a technique passed down to you by your parents, you attempt to trap a flying reindeer by placing a mince pie and carrot outside your front door with a trapdoor underneath. You wake up the next morning to find the trap has been triggered by a dazed and confused Shane Warne with crumbs all over his T-shirt.

SCORPIO

After watching Carry On Matron, you and a friend decide to check into hospital to have a bit of fun with the hot nurses with big tits. To make it convincing, you both expose yourselves to plutonium and develop tumours throughout your body. Brilliantly, the plan works and you are admitted to hospital. On the down side, you are rendered infertile and die in agony a month later.

LEO

Your nose is bitten off by a rabid monkey.

SAGITARRIUS

Impatient at the prospect of having to wait a year for the next series of Game of Thrones, you submit 10 self-penned scripts to the producers for next season. Sadly, not only are the scripts rejected, you are also ordered to see a psychologist, as most of the episodes end with the words “Daenerys bends over and takes it up the arse for 25 minutes”. Even more disturbing is the scene where she has sex with her dragons – and the one where she “gets all lezzy” with the corpse of Ygritte.

AQUARIUS

You buy a pet monkey, but it becomes rabid and escapes.

VIRGO

The FIFA inquiry into alleged bribery for the awarding of the 2022 World Cup to Qatar concludes this month and, in a shocking twist, it blames you, personally, for the corruption. Despite pleading innocence, you are found guilty and are sentenced to have your bare arse hit by footballs as part of the pre-game entertainment before the World Cup final.

TAURUS

Turns out all those emails you get about penis enlargement and pills to make sex last longer, which you thought were spam, have actually been forwarded to you by your girlfriend.

GEMINI

On The Tube

For as long as you can remember, you’ve had a recurring nightmare about turning up to work one day only to discover you’ve forgotten to put on your trousers. Horror of horrors, that nightmare becomes a reality this week when you arrive at work wearing only a shirt, tie, underwear and a very red face.

Luckily, you’ve just started work at a firm that sells underpants and your boss is so impressed by your dedication to the job, he promotes you on the spot.

Score!

LIBRA

A friend in London sends you an email containing top secret government documents regarding Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and the Scottish vote for independence. You read in amazement at the explosive revelations within. Apparently, rebuilding the Soviet Union and allowing Scotland to go independent is all part of a master plan by David Cameron to win Eurovision, as it will put an end to the Soviet states all voting for each other while also giving the UK an easy 12 points from our old British buddies the Scots. While the documents have Cameron’s name on them, your friend believes a more sinister figure is pulling the strings – none other than Sir Cliff Richard, who plans to sing the UK entry and fire himself back to the top of the pop charts.

Even more shockingly, the documents were uncovered by his nemesis Rik Mayall, who frequently teased Sir Cliff in the Young Ones – something the Bachelor Boy never forgave him for. Is it any coincidence Mayall died last month? The fate of Europe is in your hands.

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For this month’s funniest video, we’ve searched high and low through the weirdest corners of the internet and come across this gem from 2012. The clip is a banned Skittles commercial showing a newlywed couple on their wedding night getting down to business. The groom throws out some ‘sweet’ dirty talk while pleasing his bride, “Get ready for my sweetness” before blowing his candy load. You can catch the video here: http://bit.ly/1kc0wDU

ASK CRYSTAL Dear Crystal, My girlfriend, Amy Tanzig, is a huge fan of yours and reads this column every week - which is why I’m writing to you to tell her that she’s dumped. I’m too chicken to do it to her face, but I figure when she sees this she’ll get the message. Sorry Amy, but you’re just too mental for me.

The sex was awesome though.

Thanks, Brian Dear Brian, Happy to oblige – especially as it means I don’t have to bother giving you any advice.

Dear Crystal, I met my wife at church 10 years ago and I couldn’t be happier. We have a lovely life together and we’re expecting our first child any day now. Truly my life has been blessed. Anyway, the reason I’m writing to you is I wondered how much I should tip prostitutes? For the last few weeks I’ve been banging this tight little Chinese bird but she’s got less and less enthusiastic as the weeks have passed. I usually give her $500 for anal with a $50 tip. Am I being too cheap?

Yours, Roger

Dear Roger, Ten per cent is absolutely fine, you’ve obviously just got an inexperienced hooker. As it happens, my Chinese halfsister Lik Mi Balls does this sort of thing and, believe me, she’s never had an unsatisfied customer – it must be in the Balls genes. I’ll send you her number.

Dear Crystal, A large crack has appeared in the back wall of my garage. It’s in the mortar courses and not through the bricks, so I suspect it’s due to subsidence or a collapsed drain. Will the garage have to be demolished or do you think I could get away with pouring a concrete footing in to shore up the structure?

Yours, Damon Dear Damon, Talk to your wife honestly and openly about the subsidence. You might find that she is as unhappy as you are. As the crack grows wider, you may find yourselves being brought closer together. Think carefully about discussing the problem with a professional builder. A fresh perspective may do you some good. Go

together and open your heart to the builder. He won’t judge you.

Dear Crystal, Last week I woke up to find myself lying beside an older woman. When I say older, I mean elderly. She was pushing 65 and looked like she’d spent way to much time in the sun. The worrying thing about it is it was the best sex I had ever had. Somehow my mates found out and are constantly taking the piss out of me for it. I think I love this woman, is that wrong?

Regards, Robert Dear Robert, You really are a twisted individual. How can you really say that you want to spend the rest of your life with a woman who’s going to be dead by the time you’re 30?

The mind boggles as to how you manage to actually have sex with a woman so old.

I’m no spring chicken myself, but I can perform like an 18-year-old and have the beauty and the experience of over 2,500 partners. I suppose the only plus point to doing this old boot is that the absence of teeth might aid the oral sex.

JOKES Why did little Timmy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Timmy!

I want to die like my Timmy died. Peacefully, in his sleep. Unlike the passengers in his car.

What caused little Timmy to drop his ice cream in the middle of the street. A truck hit him!

Little Timmy’s teacher asks, “What is the chemical formula for water?”

Little Timmy replies, “HIJKLMNO”!!

The teacher, puzzled, asks, “What on Earth are you talking about?”

Little Timmy replies, “Yesterday you said it was H to O!” The teacher asked little Timmy, “Why is your cat at school today Timmy?” Timmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that pussy once Timmy leaves for school today!’”

Little Timmy walks in on his mum having a shower, he stands and stares at her. “What’s that?” he says, pointing to her crotch. Embarrassed and not wanting to talk about the birds and the bees just yet she replies “Oh, err that’s where daddy hit me with an axe.

Little Timmy sat down in school and the teacher

said whoever says the word contagious in a sentence won’t get any homework.

So a girl says to the teacher, “I had da flu and it was contagious.”

“Very good”, said the teacher.

Little Timmy sitting at the back of the class stood up and said, “My next door neighbour is decorating his house and my dad says it’s gonna take the cunt ages!”

A slut will have sex with anyone, a bitch will have sex with anyone but you. Pete, Richmond

Little Timmy asked his teacher, “Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?”

Teacher replied, “Ask your mother”

I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Gran’s dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

Jasper, Manly

Little Timmy was asked to run a marathon and he said, “no chance.”

Then Little Timmy was told it was for spastic and blind kids and he thought, “Fuck it. I could win that!” John, Kings Cross

And some jokes not about Little Timmy...

How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes the entire Accident & Emergency crew to get it out. Greg, Bondi What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down?

Married. Paul, St Kilda

My Mexican friend wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap. Julio, Darlinghurst Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn’t last too long for fat people. Jerry, Fitzroy

A little girl walks into her parents’ bedroom.

“Holy Fuck” she screams “and you want me to see a doctor about sucking my thumb!” Richard, Fremantle.

Email us your jokes to staffwriter@ bbmlive. com

The best thing about a blow job is the man gets ten minutes of golden silence. Bret, Surry Hills What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?

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adult

Dating App Chat-Up Lines

If you’re looking for something adventurous, exciting and resplendent in décor, try these bars for their kinky and sexy themes. Whether you want to frolic in the Prohibition era or lounge amongst lavish bohemian furnishings, the following bars offer simple yet seductive surroundings.

The Absinthe Salon

The Absinthe Salon is located in the bohemian heart of Sydney, decorated in an art nouveau style and reminiscent of the Belle Époque era, the ‘Golden Age’ of post World War One. The quaint salon has made a name for itself as Sydney’s only absinthe bar and celebrates the drink favoured by talented artists and writers such as Van Gogh and Baudelaire. The waiters at this trendy establishment are dressed in charming period outfits while all guests are encouraged to use their imagination in choosing their attire. Dress-up in your sexiest clothes and channel your Parisian fantasies, or go along in your smartest shirt and trousers. Absinthe fountains are on every table, and iced water drips over a lump of sugar into the concoction until it becomes cloudy. Try three of the 24 varieties of the French and Swiss drink, and see how you fair. A bottle of Lucid is $18 and a bottle of Serpis (a favourite of Marilyn Monroe) is $15.

87 Albion Street, Surry Hills, Sydney www.absinthesalon.com.au

The Boho Bar

On entering the Boho Bar you will be transported to an era of burlesque sideshows and old bohemian cabaret theatres. This enticing venue will lure you into its luscious lounges with colourful décor and entrancing fireplaces, with a cheeky atmosphere that borders on sexy. Broaden the horizons of taste with their Premium Spirits Bar; enjoy a selection of whiskeys, bourbons, gins, rums and tempting tequilas. There are three spaces for you to unwind in: The Boudoir, Encore Room and Sideshow Bar. The Boho Bar also hosts live music and deals, such as free meal platters if you book for five people or more.

27 Unley Road, Parkside, Adelaide www.bohobar.com.au

Ondergronds Bar

Amsterdam is the city for frivolous fun, which is where this place takes its inspiration. The Dutch word for ‘underground’, Ondergronds is a treat for

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those not privileged enough to see the city that the law forgot. Amsterdam is famous for its red light district and globally famed coffee shops, so Ondergronds Bar has a themed red light district room, coffee shop room and kinky blue room.

The Coffee Shop Lounge reflects the laidback Dutch way of life you can integrate into your day, or go all out into a world of kinky temptations with their saucy shots. Try the Red Headed Slut, a mix of Jagermeister, Peach Schnapps and cranberry juice or ask for a Dirty Fuck, a blend of Goldschlager and Baileys, to help loosen your tongue.

27 Russell Street, Melbourne www.ondergronds.com.au

Ezra Pound

This low-key bar takes its inspiration from the Prohibition era in America, when venues were forced to sneakily provide alcohol without the knowledge of authorities. The bar aims to be hidden from those not looking for it, but is open to anyone searching for somewhere secret to relax.

Go for a themed night and don your top hat and cravat. When it comes to cocktails, we recommend the Blood And Sand cocktail or a refreshing Red Wedding, (not the kind in Game of Thrones), to start off your night. Try their rum winter warmer, a delectable serving of dark Angostura rum served in an applewood-smoked goblet. This cosy establishment ignites its rum to heat you up and has eye-catching art decorating the venue.

189 William Street, Williams Lane, Northbridge www.ezrapound.com.au

The Laneway Lounge

This venue has a unique 1940s New Orleans feel with a multitude of modern twists. Whether it’s draped curtains offering privacy or the delicious pork doughnuts and calamari with squid ink, The Laneway Lounge is a world away from the hustle and bustle of busy city lives. Drinks are served at your table and you can unwind to mellow live performances accentuating on vocal Jazz. There’s also the private Live Music Room which hosts a mix of local and international acts. The venue prides itself to be the first in Perth to offer classic Jazz era cocktails, so try their Smoked & Spiced Margarita, which consists of fresh pressed lime, Cointreau, spiced agave syrup and a chilli salt rim – a spiced and creative twist on the classic killer cocktail. The Laneway Lounge is as sexy as sultry Jazz, so slip on your silk dress, polish your best boots and enter an atmosphere reminiscent of historical New Orleans.

414 Murray Street, Perth www.thelanewaylounge.com.au

1) Simple and straightforward: Send me your digits and I’ll take you to Nando’s.

2) Maintaining professionalism: You can tell a lot by somebody’s profession.

What’s yours?

I rob banks in the nude.

So you’re practically a nudist?

No, I’ll ask you for your pin while we’re both naked.

3) For all the foodies out there: Ketchup or mayo?

BBQ. You just gave me an orgasm.

4) Quick and efficient way to get on a date: They say online dating is a number’s game, so can I get your number?

5) Complimenting by ranking them next to sport: How about that? Football is now not my only online fantasy.

6) Perfect for showing stalker-like qualities: I wish your profile picture was only on Snapchat, so I wouldn’t look at it every 20 minutes.

7) Classic cheese: You don’t know how many times I had to swipe left to find you. [Applies to all Tinder users].

8) The overzealous creep: Hey, we’re a match! Does this mean we’re dating now? Give me a second, I need to change my Facebook relationship status.

9) The be all and end all: I like penguins.

That’s an interesting ice-breaker.

Do you want to have sex tonight?

That escalated quickly.

10) Quickest way to find your soul mate (and a cheap date): Who would win in a fight: McDonalds, Burger King or KFC?

By Arti Rajput

Australia’s Sexiest Bars

While BBM was browsing new potential partners on several dating apps, we realised the range in chat-up lines that you can expect to receive as a hot specimen with a wicked bod like ourselves. From the mid-range to the weird and just ridiculous, here are some of the best, most hilarious chat-up lines thrown our way whilst online dating. Try your luck with them and let us know how you get on…

The Social Media Sites You Should Be On

It’s pretty tricky business keeping your Linked In, Google +, Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, Pinterest and Instagram up to date, so we’ve wittled it down to the ones that you should actually be on... even if it’s just to get stuff off your chest.

LinkedIn

This social networking app allows you to connect with professional acquaintances and businesses, making it the number one professional networking site. Use it to build contacts and learn more about your industry by joining specific groups, and receive notifications when somebody sees your profile, sends you a message and requests your contact. LinkedIn uses the information on your online profile to notify you of relative job specifications for companies in your industry. It is great for on-the-go networking and keeping up-todate with past and present colleagues.

Shazam

Able to identify what music is playing around you and share what you haven’t heard before, Shazam is the perfect tool for recognising and downloading songs. You’ll no longer be at a loss in instances where you’re walking down a street or in a bar, and hear a song you don’t know. Rather than writing down lyrics to search later, it’s much more efficient and saves the songs to a handy list called My Tags. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world or what language the song is in, Shazam will find

it for you. The searching feature is great for ease of access; simply go into the app and touch the trigger button while the song is playing or set it on the auto-discovery option. You can also keep up-to-date on the latest music news via Shazam’s news feature, and it tells you what songs are available for free download.

Twitter

Breaking news faster than any other platform, Twitter is the musthave app for those who want to be in the know.

Keeping up-to-date with current news on Twitter is as easy as using the hashtag key. Whether it’s the #WorldCup, Kim Kardashian’s butt or #selfie, Twitter allows you to view rolling news and continuously contribute to a socially aware society. The app makes celebrities more accessible to fans and vice versa, and allows you to publically air your opinions. As a user, you will be one of the first to hear breaking news, all in real time, and join in conversations, while Tweeting your own photos and videos to your followers.

Instagram

Instagram has created a virtual space where users can share beautiful and inspirational photography from all over the world. It allows you to glimpse the lives of over 200 million users including friends and celebrities and customise photos and videos with one of the amazing custom-built filter effects.

In a fast-paced, imageheavy world, you can view and post images whether you’re travelling southeast Asia or eating a really good meal that

you think others would appreciate. Instagram also has video recording with breath-taking cinematic stabilisation. You can instantly share your Instagram photo to Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, Tumblr and Foursquare.

Whisper

This completely anonymous social network is great for people to express themselves, discover the unseen world around them, and have numerous giggles about the crazy things being posted.

People anonymously share their thoughts, whether it’s about their perfect guy, their ridiculous lies or their secret dirty fantasies. It is the social network that accepts all forms of thought and freedom of speech, especially those too intimate to share on networks where your identity is public. Whisper allows instant social interaction through the uploading of images accompanied by text, or you can type the text and Whisper will find an image related to it. As a user, you have the ability to connect with private instant messaging, as well as sharing your whispers anonymously. If you’re looking for something in particular to laugh about, just browse the topics that interest you most.

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ADVERTISE HERE

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activities

Things to do in New Zealand SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING

www.foxguides.co.nz

QUEENSTOWN

RIVER BOARDING

BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

ACCOMMODATION CHRISTCHURCH

CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

JET BOATING

BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

SHOTOVER JET

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

GLACIER GUIDING FOX GLACIER GUIDING 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS

KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

WELLINGTON

NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

AUCKLAND NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

Fiji ACCOMMODATION

THINGS TO DO

BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com

THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

SCUBA DIVING

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Things to do in Australia SKYDIVING

IFLY DOWNUNDER 123 Mulgoa Road, Penrith, Sydney Ph: 1300 366 364 www.iflydownunder.com.au SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au

Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com

SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au IFLY DOWNUNDER 123 Mulgoa Road, Penrith, Sydney Ph: 1300 366 364 www.iflydownunder.com.au

GHOST TOURS LANTERN GHOST TOURS Melbourne & Goldcoast Ph: 1300 390 119 www.lanternghosttours.com enquiry@lanternghosttours.com Experience the multi award winning Lantern Ghost Tours, offering small group tours of Australia’s most haunted locations.

ADVENTURE TOURS

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.facebook.com/goinsouthtours TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM

SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 / 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au BLUE MOUNTAINS ADVENTURE COMPANY Ph: 02 4782 1271 bmac@bmac.com.au www.bmac.com.au WAYOUTBACK AUSTRALIAN SAFARI Ph: 1300 551 510 / 08 8952 4324 reservations@wayoutback.com.au www.wayoutback.com.au CAVERSHAM WILDLIFE PARK Whiteman Park, Whiteman, WA, 6068 Ph: 08 9248 1984 sales@cavershamwildlife.com.au www.cavershamwildlife.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com BUNYIP TOURS 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com

AUSSIE WANDERERS Ph: 09 438 2070 www.aussiewanderer.com.au KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Vivonne Bay, Kingscote, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 www.kiadventuretours.com.au DROP BEAR ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 061 156 www.dropbearadventures.com.au

KITE SURFING

KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

SURF SCHOOLS

JET SKI SAFARIS Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

BIKE RIDING TOURS

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

WINE AND BEER TOURS

PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

MOJO SURF 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com

GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURF TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au

CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au

GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com

BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

BOWLING

LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au

STRIKE BOWLING Nationwide Ph:1300 787453 www.strikebowling.com.au

SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters

PADDO BOWLS 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02936 1150

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

TRANSPORT

PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

MIGHTY CAMPERS Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au TRAVELLERS AUTOBARN Nationwide Ph: 1800 674 374 www.travellers-autobarn.com.au GETABOUT OZ 191 William Street in the Cross, Sydney Ph: 1300 613 833 www.getaboutoz.com

www.bbmlive.com 49

Accommodation NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

WORLD SQUARE HOSTEL 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au OXFORD COURT ACCOMMODATION Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

WEST END BACKPACKERS 12 Pitt St Sydney NSW, 2000 Ph: 02 9211 4588 Free Phone: 1800 013 186 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.nomadsworld.com/westend BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au

BIG HOSTEL Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’MALLEY’S HOTEL 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au THE ROYAL HOTEL 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au KANGA HOUSE BACKPACKERS 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES

SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES

CRONULLA BEACH YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au HUNTER VALLEY Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au BLUE MOUNTAINS BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 144 Bathhurst Road, Katoomba, NSW 2780 Ph: 02 4782 9630 www.bluemountainsbackpackerhostel.com.au

BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966

50 www.bbmlive.com

Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

BASE BRISBANE UPTOWN 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 24 2273 uptown@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay BASE BRISBANE CENTRAL 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 brisbane@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au BRISBANE CITY YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

GOLDCOAST

TREKKERS BACKPACKERS 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au SURFERS PARADISE YHA AT MAIN BEACH Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com SURF N SUN Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com

SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RSRT Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS CAIRNS SHARE HOUSE 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716

bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

MISSION BEACH ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

WHITSUNDAYS BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH AIRLIE BEACH YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

CAPE TRIBULATION

PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

COTTESLOE

OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

PERTH

RAINBOW LODGE 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA ACCOMMODATION Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694

jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

MONKEY MIA

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

BROOME

BEACHES OF BROOME 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA

REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

GREAT OCEAN ROAD

JOHANNA BEACH COTTAGES 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE

EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au BACK OF CHAPEL 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au UNITED BACKPACKERS 250 Flinders Street, Melbourne Ph: 03 9654 2616 unitedbackpackers.com.au INDEPENDENT & BUDGET TRAVELER ACCOMMODATION PROVIDER Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au

ST. KILDA

JACKSON APARTMENTS 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au

Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

APOLLO BAY

APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au ECO BEACH YHA ECO-HOSTEL 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

HALLS GAP

GRAMPIANS YHA ECO-HOSTEL Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com ADELAIDE SHAKESPEARE INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN

ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

ALICE SPRINGS

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visas/jobs/tax How To Get Your Skilled Independent Visa

So, you think you are talented do you? Not in an X-Factor sense but if you possess certain in-demand skills then you may be able to claim permanent residency in Australia.

Applicants must be able to demonstrate that they have a qualification and/or skills in an occupation on the Skilled Occupation List (SOL). Of course, the Australian government only want you to stay if you can help them out with their skills shortage.

The list itself is exhaustive, yet of interest may be a recent announcement that chefs, tilers and bricklayers will be added from 1 July 2014. It was also announced that no existing occupations will be removed, which is nice.

That’s right, whether it be cooking, tiling or bricklaying, if you can prove your specialist skill then you may be allowed to stay Down Under.

Make no mistake, you will be expected to prove it too in a skills assessment. Due to the varied extent of the jobs that are on the SOL the skills assessment is complex and tailored.

Some authorities require detailed reports of work projects while others demand references dating back to the very start of your career. You must also find out if your skilled occupation requires you to join a professional organisation or trade body. Finally, you must be in passable health, which may require a medical examination, and meet the Australian government’s good character requirements (which is ironic considering the Australia’s heritage).

Following a successful skills assessment and points test combined with a proven competence in English you might be eligible to apply for the visa if invited. If you do want to express an interest in a

skilled visa for which you are suitably qualified then you will be asked to provide certain information in your EOI. As well as the previously mentioned assessments you will be asked to provide details on your business and investment experience.

Your EOI then goes up online so you may be invited by the Australian Government to lodge a visa application. Note that this is one of the main differences between this and other skilled visas in that successful applicants for the subclass 189 version are allowed a certain degree of freedom as they do not require sponsorship by an employer or family member. Applicants are also left to fend for themselves without being nominated by a state or territory government.

Once you have been issued with an invitation you can submit your final, complete application to be approved by the Department of Immigration and Border Protection so your visa can be granted.

As with the SOL itself the benefits of the visa are also exhaustive. A successful applicant is given a five year multiple entry visa to live and work in Australia. You only need to live in Australia for two of the five years to have the visa reissued for a further five years. Alternatively, you can spend four consecutive years in Australia and be eligible for citizenship.

Very few visas come with a job guarantee yet obtaining the Skilled Independent visa (Subclass 189) is arguably the best visa to maximise your chances of obtaining a suitable job as there are no restrictions. You are even free to work freelance so long as the job matches the description on the SOL. Whatever your talent, if you are experienced and confident enough to work alone and, more importantly, it is in demand in Australia, then this may be the visa for you.

By Omar Soliman

The Skilled Independent visa (subclass 189) is one of the lesser-known routes to permanent residency but for certain people who excel in certain professions it is arguably the most straightforward.

Put simply, this is a visa for specialists. If you fancy going it alone then the process becomes markedly simpler as skilled workers do not use elaborate CVs and are not pressed in interviews to prove their worth, they are points-tested. The pass mark is 60 and points are awarded for age; for instance being 25-32 gains you 30 points. Indeed, you have to be under 50 to be eligible and at least

competent in English which should be a jiffy if you can read this. Final points are awarded for various qualifications and work experience relevant to the nominated occupation.

52 www.bbmlive.com

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English speakers should not assume that can ace the English test, pre-test preparation is strongly advised.

Migration skills assessments are conducted by different Australian bodies depending on your occupation type; the relevant authority is listed on the SOL or CSOL beside the occupation, appointed by the Australian government. Each assessing authority has its own criteria to meet. It is critical to get this part of the process completed accurately. The skills assessment must be successful for you to proceed to the next stage.

The Australian government recently announced their new Migration Program Plan to commence on 1st July 2014, which will see 190,000 permanent visas up for grabs in the coming 12 months. Planning levels like this are re-set by the government each year in Australia.

Of the 190,000, 128,550 places will be allocated to skilled visas, including employer sponsored, general skilled and business categories, while 60,885 places are for family stream visas, i.e. people sponsored by immediate family members.

In the skilled stream, 38% will be employer sponsored, 34% skilled independent, 22% state government nominated, and 6% business migrants. In the family stream, the vast majority of visas will be taken up by partners or parents of Australian residents.

These figures do not count the thousands of other temporary visas availed for working holiday makers, students, and temporary sponsorship by employers. These categories are uncapped.

So, to consider a permanent visa for Australia, unless you are in a relationship with an Australian permanent resident or citizen, you may need to look at the skilled visa options.

The Department of Immigration has two lists of occupations that are eligible for skilled visas – the Skilled Occupations List (SOL) with about 190 occupations, and the bigger Consolidated Skilled Occupations List (CSOL) with about 600 occupations. You can find these lists on the immigration website at www.immi.gov.au/ Work/Pages/skilled-occupations-lists/skilledoccupations-lists.aspx First, check the shorter SOL. If you find your occupation here, you may be eligible to apply for Skilled Independent visas as well as having the employer or state government nominated options.

If your occupations are not listed on SOL, check the longer CSOL. If listed here but not on the SOL, you will have skilled visa options but limited to

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employer or state government nomination.

The 189 Independent and 190 State Government Nominated visa options have a points tested eligibity system, referred to as ‘Skill Select’. To be eligible to make an Expression of Interest (EOI) for one of these visas, you must have at least 60 points; the independent system gives priority to people with higher points.

You can claim points based largely on; your age, qualifcations, work experience, and English ability.

Extra points are available for successful state government nomination; this is sometimes the only way some applicants can get the 60-point minimum to apply.

If you are seeking State government nomination, each state government has its own short list of occupations based on CSOL that they will nominate; you need to check these on each state government web site. You can find the points test system at www.immi.gov.au/Visas/Pages/189.aspx Take, great care; if you self-assess your points incorrectly, you may end up spending a lot of time and expense on applying for a visa, only to find you are not eligible. Consider asking a registered migration agent for a professional assessment of your profile and a personal detailed point’s assessment. This way, you can have confidence that you are setting off on the correct path.

You can find a registered migration agent at www.mia.org.au/find-an-agent Providing migration advice in Australia requires registration with the Office of the Migration Agents Registration Authority (MARA) and sound knowledge of migration law and professional behaviour in accordance with the MARA’s Code of Conduct, giving you great consumer protection.

So, once you are confident you can make the 60 points, your next steps are typically to undertake a migration skills assessment and, if needed for points, an IELTS or similar English language test.

If needed, it’s best to do the English test first.

The skills assessment takes longer and is not cheap – better to know you can get the IELTS score you need. See www.ielts.com. Native

If seeking state government nomination, another application is needed with typically a two-three month wait for an approval. The good news is that once approved, you are guaranteed a visa application. The state lists changes frequently through the year as they fill places, so don’t delay; get an application in as soon as possible.

If you are already in Australia on a temporary visa, the more common option is to find an employer that will be able to nominate you for permanent residence. The employer nomination options are not points tested and UK/Irish passport holders are not required to sit English tests for these visa types.

For more information on all head to:

www.arriveaustralia.com.au

SKILLED OCCUPATION LIST Want to stay in Australia for longer? Here’s a few of the jobs going that will help you to make that dream come true.

For the full up to date Skilled Occupation list visit www.immi.gov.au Child Care Centre Manager Nursing Clinical Director General Accountant External Auditor Ship’s Engineer Architect Surveyor Electrical Engineer Veterinarian Secondary School Teacher Sonographer Dentist Physiotherapist Dermatologist Midwife Software Engineer Solicitor Welder

By John McQuaid

Permanent Visas Up For Grabs

With this done, if you are a SOL applicant, you are ready to make an expression of interest for a 189 skilled visa. Depending on your points score it may be several months before you receive an invitation to apply for the visa. If your occupation is oversubscribed the wait may be longer; there is no guarantee of being picked to apply for the 189 visa. This seems to have resulted in a low uptake on the scheme, which in itself appears to have seen many applicants with 60 points being picked to apply for the visa.