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HIGHLIGHTS This month we’ve rounded up the things that we’re most excited about. So be sure to make a note of them, if you don’t want to miss out!

read of the month

out 11th June

Vivid Sydney Now until 10th June

7th June - 1st July CHINESE LAUNDRY 17TH BIRTHDAY

Perth International Burlesque Festival

29th June - 6th July

Melbourne International Jazz Festival 31st May - 9th June

The Great Gatsby

29th June Life In Colour, Melbourne 4

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CONTENTS This issue we speak to the up and coming MS MR - our cover stars - along with Electronic legend John Digweed. We also got to catch up, once again, with Jody Wisternoff ahead of his Chinese Laundry gig, and the lovely Ben Ottewell of Gomez.

Preparing you for the winter season, we look at the best ski resorts in New South Wales and Victoria to help you get through this cold time of year. We also continue our journey across the country from South Australia to Queensland, via Victoria and New South Wales, so if you’re getting itchy feet wherever you are, we hope you enjoy our guide to amazing travel destinations in every corner of Australia.

Interviews 42 | MS MR 43 | BEN OTTEWELL 44 | JOHN DIGWEED 45 | JODY WISTERNOFF

Features

issue highlights

Lions Tour 2013 ski australia

TRAVEL SAMOA

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

pacha’s 40th birthday

08 | THE QUIRKIEST PLACES TO ENJOY MUSIC - We look at the some of the best cafes and places to enjoy music.

12 | SKI AUSTRALIA - This month we take a look at the best ski resorts in New South Wales and Victoria.

Regulars

14| TRAVEL AUSTRALIA - We carry on with our journey across Australia’s best travel destinations.

04 | THE BEST HIGHLIGHTS THIS MONTH 10 | PROMOTIONS IN MELBOURNE THIS MONTH 11 | PROMOTIONS IN SYDNEY THIS MONTH 27 | TRAVEL ESSENTIALS 38 | SPORTS NEWS 46 | MUSIC NEWS 49 | FUNNY NEWS 52 | CRYSTAL BALLS & JOKES 54 | ADULT CLASSIFIEDS 56 | ACCOM & TRAVEL LISTINGS 60 | RECRUITMENT NEWS 63 | BBM TRIVIA

26 | SAMOA - This June we take a look at Samoa as the perfect winter get away.

28 | WORLD’S BEST TOWNS - Forget the main capital cities, venture a little further into some of the most spectacular towns in the world.

30 | LIONS TOUR BAR GUIDE - Your ultimate guide to the best venues to visit during the Lions Tour 2013

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HIGHLIGHTS A Little Music On The Side?

SYDNEY

MELBOURNE

If you love music as much as we do, you’ll love these venues across Sydney and Melbourne where you can enjoy live music with your coffee, or whilst you shop.

Bondi FM Cafe and Bar

One of Bondi’s best kept secrets (literally, you may find yourself walking several times up and down the street before you find it) is the Cafe and Bar from which Bondi FM broadcasts. Enjoy a healthy breakfast of muesli with coconut milk by day, and pizza and a glass of wine by night, all whilst watching a variety of local DJs spin tracks from the glass-fronted booth in the main room. The radio station have done a great job of carrying off the same atmosphere in the Cafe for which the station is known, being local, relaxed and beachy. It is the kind of idea only Bondi could pull off so well.

Curlewis Street, Bondi www.bondifm.com.au

Suzie Q Coffee and Records

Like what you’re listening to while chowing down on some Je Regrette Everything, a brioche bun – pulled pork, spiced cabbage salad, garlic & dill aioli & oven roasted potatoes - then why not buy the record? Suzie Q doubles up as a coffee shop-comesecond-hand record store, stocking everything from Soul, Funk and Reggae to Electronic, Rock ‘n’ Roll and more! Suzie Q prides itself on the quality of its produce and offers the chance for like-minded people to enjoy two of life’s finest inventions – food and music.

1/18 Hutchinson Street, Surry Hills suzieqcoffee.com.au

Words by Eleanor Davies, Lillie Almond & Lucie Potter

The Vanguard

A purpose built live music venue and restaurant, The Vanguard has an older-worldly feel about it, with 1920s decor that has played host to some of the most famous Aussie and international music acts.

It may have a luxurious decor, but it is surprisingly unpretentious and fits in with the ‘anything goes’ feel of Newtown. Throughout the month, they have artists of all genres grace the stage, whilst you can enjoy a couple of drinks or a meal, including a great tapas menu, or some of our favourites: beetroot risotto, grilled beef eye fillet and market fresh fish of the day.

42 King Street, Newtown www.thevanguard.com.au

The Ivy

It’s sleek, stylish, world famous and an absolute must for visitors looking to hit the clubs in Sydney.

Yes, The Ivy is the place all Sydneysiders head to show off their lean physique, perfectly tanned skin or new outfit, but don’t let that put you off. It lives up to all expectations you would have of a world famous night spot and with international DJs such as Groove Armada, Basement Jaxx, Carl Cox and Laid Back Luke having hit the decks there, you’ll get your money’s worth. But The Ivy is more than just a club and bar. Its restaurant also houses some of Australia’s top chefs and is renowned for its stunning outdoor swimming pool.

320-330 George Street, Sydney merivale.com.au/ivy

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The Elwood Lounge

Being invited to an open mic night is bound to be contentious amongst those who despise karaoke, but the Elwood Lounge is different. To an almost intimidating extent, Wednesday evenings are inundated with talent. You will be astounded by both the calibre of performers and variety of talent.

Of course you will have to be patient enough to sift through numerous inevitable guitar lullabies, and probably a painstaking “Wonderwall”, yet the musical gold you find in between is so very worthwhile, and leaves you thinking all week about going back again to witness a completely different mosaic of talents.

49-51 Glen Huntly Road, Elwood, Victoria www.elwoodlounge.com.au

Pure Pop Records If you’re after a casual drink and have an open-mind, this is a great little spot to pop by, with impromptu performances from both local and international performers. A small venue accommodating only an intimate audience of 49 people, you gotta be special to be here. They are working on this cute little project right now to get sound-proofed due to noise complaints, so the project is called “Buy-aBrick” and involves helping renovate Pure Pop. In the meantime, they’ve moved their performances to inside as opposed to outside shindigs.

221 Barkly Street, St Kilda, Victoria www.purepop.com.au La Lapa

Fancy live music whilst you wander around a market? South Melbourne market provides a little bit of what you fancy, without having to hunt avidly.

It is a real shame that fruit sellers are allowed to scream about bargain bananas and dollar onions at the top of their voices because the markets current busker, Julian Steel, is enviably talented. He plays at the weekends in the much coveted slot of SO:ME’s coffee space, and at only 16 years old, he is a ball of unexpected multiple talents, rocking the keyboard, drums, guitar and - oh my, you name it!

Stall Number 130, 322-326 Coventry Street, South Melbourne www.southmelbournemarket.com.au

The Old Bar

Recommended by any Melbournite as the place for live music, The Old Bar really is the best of both worlds. From chilled, free performances by local artists, to sell-out gigs from unexpectedly large names, this relic of a venue is very visit-worthy. The residencies at The Old Bar are what really make it great, with Wednesdays and Sundays designated to celebrating ongoing local talent.

74-76 Johnston Street, Fitzroy www.theoldbar.com.au

Whale Shark Season Ningaloo

It’s that time of year again, when these gigantic creatures visit the shores of Western Australia.

The Whale Shark is the largest of the fish species, with the biggest confirmed individual reaching a length of 12.65 meters. Whale Shark season in Australia is between April and July, and you’ll find them hanging out in Ningaloo Marine Park, off the North-West Coast of Australia. Visitors from all over the world head to the Ningaloo Reef during the season to get their chance to snorkel with the Whale Sharks. It is the only place along the Australian coast where they appear regularly in large numbers.

For an unforgettable experience, Exmouth Diving Centre provide tours. Visit their site www.exmouthdiving.com. In the unlikely event that there is no sighting of a Whale Shark, this centre will give a free tour on any available spot in the next three years.

So all you need is the ability to swim and you can experience the rush of swimming with the world’s biggest fish. The cost of snorkelling is $385 but if you don’t want to get up close to them, you can still experience this as an observer for $240.

Another great company to use is Ningaloo Reef Dreaming (www.ningaloodreaming.com), which was the gold medal winner of the 2010 Western Australian Tourism Awards for best Adventure Tour. A great benefit of this tour is they use their own plane, so you get your own Whale Shark.

This means that the tour is more intimate, rather than sharing your experience with a crowd of other tourists. As other tour companies share a spotter plane, with these guys you won’t be waiting around for other people to finish their adventure. The tour departs daily at 7.15am and costs $370, which includes refreshments, lunch and snorkelling or dive gear.

Image courtesy of Peter Carroll, Lasseters Camel Cup

Lasseters Camel Cup Alice Springs If you want to get down with the locals and celebrate in the Northern Territory like a true Aussie, then it’s time to try your hand at Camel racing. Every year, the Lasseters Camel Cup takes place, which is a great way to get together and have some outrageous fun.

The dusty Outback has a great spirit of adventure, despite being the leastpopulated area in Australia. Part of the Alice Springs Centenary Year Celebrations sees Blatherskite Park invaded by rickshaw rallies, bands, belly dancing, and camel racing. The cup is held annually on the second Saturday in July annually, and brings people from all over the country to check out the crazy, daring riders and the carnival atmosphere.

The fun and hilarity of the sport derives from the unpredictability of the camels.

Imagine a bucking bronco, but you’re a lot higher up, and if you fall, you land on the hard red sand. But don’t get the hump because this provides hours of entertainment for any spectator, even if it is a nightmare for the riders. Stories of camels taking a nap halfway through the race, or refusing to run in the right direction, are just the tip of the camel racing iceberg.

There are a few different types of races and cups that will suit everyone. One of the highlights is the honeymoon handicap, where halfway through the track, the husband-to-be must pick up his bride before continuing to the finish line.

There is also a race for couples, the Mr & Miss Camel Cup Challenge, where you can take your relationship to the next level and test your communication skills, whilst riding on a camel. As this is a daredevil’s sport, you need to be an experienced camel rider if you want to enter the competition. You can book a camel ride at a local farm and explore the Australian outback on this unusual mode of transport. You can also have half an hour or an hour trek through

Camels Australia, which is an hour from Alice Springs along the Stuart Highway.

To find out more, visit their website: www.camels-australia.com.au This year, the event will take place on Saturday 13th July at Blatherskite Park, Alice Springs. Doors open at 10.30am and the first race is at 12 noon. The cost of a ticket is $17 for adults, which you can buy on the gate. To find out more information on the Camel Cup, visit: www.camelcup.com.au

Whale Watching In June Every year in winter, humpback whales migrate from the Antarctic waters into the tropical waters of Australia. The migration route is often close to the coast, so it’s a great opportunity to see some exclusive sights of humpback’s in their natural state. From now until the end of October, you can go on whale watching tours all over Australia.

The ‘Home of the Humpback’, Hervey Bay, Queensland, sees tourists flock to get a once in a lifetime encounter viewing a whale up close. The calm waters attract this mammal every year and the Bay celebrates their arrival with The Hervey Bay Whale Festival. Once you’ve seen the whales, you can join in with aquatic events, live music, carnival rides and fireworks. Check out www.herveybaywhalefestival.com.au for the programme of events.

In July and early August, the sub-adults visit first, followed by the large females with new-born calves in late August to October. Hervey Bay’s warm, pristine waters help to build their blubber layer, fitness and skills before they migrate back to the Antarctic Ocean.

For the entire month of June, the Humpback Whales should be stalking about near Byron Bay. The guys at Whale Watching Byron Bay are so confident that you will spot these fine creatures; you will get a return trip if you don’t see a whale.

One great thing about this trip is that the vessels are equipped with hydrophones so you can hear Humpback whale song live.

To book onto this tour visit their site www.whalewatchingbyronbay.com. au. Look out for the rare white whale ‘Migaloo’ who was first spotted in the area in 1991.

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MELBOURNE PROMOS Tuesday

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

Duke Of Kent The Workshop Ding Dong Lounge Turf Bar Lucky Coq 293 La Trobe Street 131 Queen Street $14 1/413 Elizabeth Street Cnr Chapel Street Level 1 $8 Shepherds pie Parma and pot 18 Market Lane any pizza and pot and High Street $15 Chinatown Windsor $4 pizza or Best Indie night lucky dogs 11am-4pm and 7pm11pm The Local Taphouse 184 Carlisle Street Bimbo Deluxe Lily Blacks St Kilda 376 Brunswick Street 12 Meyers Place The Dan O’Connell Taphouse Comedy Fitzroy Enjoy the finest Hotel Night 8.30pm NHJ hosting a night of cocktails Melbourne uneasy listening, bass 225 Canning Street $12/$15 has to offer Carlton jams, romantic comedy 5pm-3am $1 Tacos with any disco, drink purchase tropi-jazz and $6 Corona’s from soundtracks from 9pm 6.30pm-9pm Strike Bowling Robert Burns Hotel Level 3 Melbourne 376 Smith Street Central Collingwood 211 La Trobe Street The place to go for $20 unlimited traditional Spanish bowling, laser tag food! and pool from 5pm

The Penny Black 420 Sydney Road Brunswick $12 steak

Melbourne Public 11 Dukes Walk South Wharf $1 Oysters

Brunswick Mess Hall 400 Sydney Road The Common Man Brunswick 9 Dukes Walk Experience the taste South Wharf of Asia $6 pints and $10 cocktails 5pm-7pm

Saturday

Sunday

The Precinct Hotel Wabi Sabi Garden Ground Level 60 Swan Street 17 Wellington Street Richmond St Kilda Mr Palmer - the city’s premier acoustic and Authentic Japanese Cuisine Happy Hour vocal trio drinks 5pm - 6.30pm

Temperance Hotel The Quiet Man 426 Chapel Street Irish Pub South Yarra 271 Racecourse Road Funk, house and Flemington disco grooves from Full Irish Breakfast 6pm $14.90

29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street Retreat Hotel St Kilda 280 Sydney Road $3 fish and chips, $5 Brunswick Free live music and selected bottled beer and house wine 6pmgreat grub!

10pm

Secret Shopping in Melbourne Shops, shops everywhere, and not a dime to spend? Never fear, Chapel Street is here. Avoiding chain stores as a city-dweller can be challenging, yet all travellers know that the price tags in branded retail are notoriously unforgiving.

The thing is, if you’re pootering around at the beach or kicking back on a roadtrip, you need not be clad head-to-toe in haute couture, so why not wander along the expanse of thrift stores on Chapel Street? The area is known for its second hand bargains, from the slightly more upmarket Salvos store, which is home to many never-worn labels, to the messily weird treasure trove that is… Shag. Loved labels, old and new, and recycled randoms are everywhere in Shag- yet keep your eyes peeled: despite the eye-catching name, the shop can be easily missed amongst the hive of weird and wonderful Chapel Street.

Don’t be fooled, all second-hand stores also have their pricey items- and the pretty bargains do get snapped up fast! Yet a good browse will always dig up the unique bits and pieces that will leave everyone asking where you scored that dress (yes boys, dresses).

Frankly, it feels foolish to list every second-hand store throughout a street that is populated solely by just that: second-hand stores. From bizarre vintage boutiques, to welcomingly tatty op shops, (come on now, it’s a charity shop!), Chapel Street really is the place for a bargain. If you have the stamina to make it to the end of Chapel, your reward constitutes a look around Prahran market (closed on Mondays and Wednesdays). Don’t get too hyped- Prahran is Melbourne’s oldest market, and kind of, a bit, sort of, well you know- alright. Cheaper, livelier and all-round more “happening” market places are those of South Melbourne (open Friday to Sunday, and Wednesday), and Victoria Street (Tuesday and Thursday to Sunday). Located on the corner of Elizabeth and Victoria Street, Queen Victoria Market is a seriously affordable place to buy fresh groceries.

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This all sounds cliché and agonisingly pro-healthy-living, yet here goes: why pay more for your fresh produce, when you can score a bargain or two at your local market? Wink wink.

Really though, the clothes are not cool, guys. Call it a generalisation, yet the quality and variety is limited, and these aren’t the sorts of markets where you can get your haggle on- for what it is, the stuff is pricey. For a more unique and affordable approach, head to op shops like South Melbourne Community Chest. Yes, you will be sifting through lots of seemingly purposeless trinkets, yet don’t these just add to the joy of a good bargain hunt? Happy shopping!

By Lillie Almond

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

SYDNEY PROMOS Tuesday

Wednesday

The Eastern The Office Hotel Paragon Hotel 500 Oxford Street Cnr Kent and Corner Loftus & Alfred Bondi Junction Happy Erskine Street Street Hour $10 meals and Trivia Circular Quay All day meal deal with $4 beer and $5 wine from 6.30pm 5pm-7pm any burger $12

The Bat & Ball Hotel 495 Cleveland Street Redfern Taco Trio $10

Bungalow 8 3 Lime Street $10 Meals

Cock ‘N’ Bull 89 Ebley Street Bondi Junction Pitch Perfect open mic session 7pm-10pm

Beresford 354 Bourke Street Surry Hills $10 Italian lunch

Cargo Bar The Soda Factory 52-60 The Promenade 16 Wentworth King Street Wharf Avenue $10 steaks with fries, Surrey Hills salad & choice of sauce $1 Gourmet from 11.30am hotdogs 5pm-12am

Thursday The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Rump steak with chips

Darlo Bar Palings 306 Liverpool Street Level 1 Ivy $10 Cocktails and 330 George Street $15 cider jugs 6pm$5 happy hour 5.30pm 9pm

Wynyard Hotel 107 Clarence Street Half price happy hour 5pm-7pm

The Rook Level 7 56-58 York Street Best cocktails and lobster in Sydney!

Friday The Forresters 336 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Cocktail happy hour 6pm-8pm

Scruffy Murphy’s 43-49 Goulburn Street Frisky Fridays $4 drinks and free entry before 12am

P.J. O’Briens 57 King Street Live music from 7pm

The Workers 292 Darling Street Balmain $10 basket of wings, $12 daiquiris and dark and stormys 6pm-9pm

Tommy’s Beer Cafe 123 Glebe Point Road Glebe Pork knuckle $15.99

Saturday Establishment 252 George Street $15 main courses 12pm-3pm

The World Bar 24 Bayswater Road Kings Cross CAKES! Night of House, Trap and Hip-Hop party tunes

The Marlborough Hotel 145 King Street Newtown Live music and Midnight Mexican kitchen open til 4am

Sunday Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Road Coogee Cook your own BBQ T-Bone steak 400gm with salad and dinner roll

Ms. G’s 155 Victoria Street Potts Point 8 course Sunday menu $50 1pm-5pm

Jackson’s On George 176 George Street happy hour $5 Corona, $5 House Spirits, $10 Cocktail Jugs and $4 Giant Pints. Free Jukebox 5pm-7pm

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

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SKI AUSTRALIA

Hitting The Slopes As the colder weather begins to creep up on you, and you start to feel cheated by the endless sunshine that was promised to you when you arrived in Australia, fear not, as you can still enjoy yourself during the cooler months.

Here we unearth the best ski resorts in New South Wales and Victoria, so you can make the most of the colder weather, and go and have a play in the white stuff...

Snowy Mountains…

Given its name, it should hardly be a surprise that New South Wales’ Snowy Mountains (or ‘Snowies’ as they are more commonly known as) are home to some of the country’s most popular ski resorts. The Snowies are the highest range in Australia, and the impossibly spelt Mount Kosciuszko is its highest peak, standing at a rather impressive 7310ft. It isn’t just this peak that attracts the attentions of adrenaline junkies across the world; the range contains five of the highest peaks on the Australian mainland – and what comes with cold weather and high altitudes? That’s right – snow. And plenty of it!

Throughout the months of June, July and August, snow falls in these mountains and attracts snowboarders and skiers from all across the nation and even further afield to revel in it’s icey wonderment.

Attracting nature lovers all year round because of its breath-taking scenery and abundance of outdoor pursuits, The Snowy Mountains are a fantastic destination where there is something to suit all tastes and energy levels!

Located equidistant from Sydney and Melbourne, there are a range of ways that you can get to The Snowy Mountains be it by car, coach, or plane. Although the temptation may be to get there as quickly as possible, those with a little more time on their hands may enjoy the winding network of roads surrounded on all sides by scenery so spectacular, it may cause your camera lens to crack.

There is also a charming array of towns to stop off in on the way.

Thredbo By many, this NSW ski resort is considered to be the best in the whole of Australia. Located 500km from Sydney, in the Kosciuszko National Park, high up in the Snowy Mountains – Thredbo is great for one thing in particular – the best verticals, the greatest of which, the ‘Supertrail’ being 621m long.

Another impressive credential - Thredbo has the highest lift in the country and as they are all high-speed, there isn’t much queuing time before you are taking the load off and being whisked up the mountain for your next downhill mission.

If you crave a spot of off-piste action, then you are in the right place – in fact people haven’t been shy when it comes to saying that it is home to some of the best skiing of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere. Put in simple terms, no matter what type of skiing takes your fancy – there will be something to suit you and all of your group should you visit Thredbo.

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If you thrive on a spot of competition, get up early and join the other competitive sorts at the top of the Supertrail to race to the bottom. If you should beat your competitors to the finish line you can expect to be showered with cash prizes and ski-related swag. If competition isn’t enough of a thrill for you, then the Monster Energy Bag Jump could prove more up your street. It is basically a gigantic cushion where people can practice their flips and tricks without fear of broken bones!

There’s no denying that Thredbo village is well thought out, has a lot to offer and facilities like free shuttle buses and some top class bars and restaurants go a long way to explaining why the resort constantly tops the polls for best holiday destinations in the country.

Jindabyne Another fantastic resort town, located not too far from Thredbo is Jindabyne.

The town is a beautiful base for people who want to combine their love of the slopes with perhaps a little bit of exploration of the surrounding Snowy Mountains. People flock to the area at all times of year to enjoy the delights of Lake Jindabyne where you can go fishing or enjoy a spot of bush-walking but it is undoubtedly more popular in the winter months with tourists setting up base close to the slopes in the surrounding hills.

If an absolute must for your ski-break is nightlife, then Jindabyne should be top of your list. Workers from Thredbo and Perisher ski resorts more often than not reside in staff accommodation in Jindabyne, therefore come pay day (every Wednesday night) all of the bars will be full of over-worked staff looking to let their hair down and fritter away their pay-packets as quickly and as decadently as possible! Lake Jindabyne Hotel (LJ’s) is a good starting point and then you should just follow the crowds – more than likely to The Banjo Patterson Inn. As a gateway to the Snowy Mountains, setting up base in Jindabyne is a good idea for those who don’t want to limit themselves to one ski resort. As Thredbo, Perisher and Charlotte’s Pass are close by, you can mix things up and work out which resort appeals to you most. Another reason people choose Jindabyne is because they want to be close to the snow but also want to enjoy the other activities associated with the winter – be that the aforementioned debaucherous nightlife, perhaps some trout fishing or, just relaxing with a good book.

Jindabyne is just under five hours drive away from Sydney but there are also bus services available, or if time is of the essence you can always catch a flight from Sydney straight to the Snowy Mountains airport.

Mt Buller Within three hours drive from the bustling streets of Melbourne, you can be strapping your boots on and hitching your first ride of the season on one of those dreaded button lifts! As the most accessible ski resort in Australia, Mt Buller is many a ski bunny’s top choice for their winter pursuits.

The mountain enjoys peak snowfall from the end of July through to mid-August, so understandably prices hit their peak at this time. Make sure that you book accommodation and lift passes early to avoid splashing out the equivalent of a trip back to Europe!

No matter whether you are still learning or have been put on skis by your parents since the moment you learnt to walk – there is terrain to suit your skills.

For beginners your best bet is to head to Bourke Street or Burnt Hut Spur to perfect your ‘snow plough’ or ‘falling leaf’, or if things really don’t seem to be going your way – you can always hang up your skis and try your hand at tobogganing, maybe a guided snow-shoe walk.

There is a range of accommodation options available on and around Mt Buller, ranging from backpacker rooms to fancy chalets. Penny pinchers might be better off booking a room in one of the surrounding towns. There are a few to choose from including Mount Beauty, Bogong Village, Bright or Harrietville.

Rooms will be considerably cheaper here, but remember to factor in transport costs to and from the mountain into your budget. Self-catering apartments and lodges are a great idea for anyone travelling in a large group.

Now – what you really want to know about – the après. The Alberg Hotel is a favourite amongst revellers as is the Apres Bar at the Mt Buller Chalet Hotel which, located right off the Bourke Street run, is a great spot to bunker down in immediately after you grow tired of the slopes for the day.

Falls Creek If you are more of a boarder than a skier and your priority is to come away having mastered a few sweet new tricks then Falls Creek, four and a half hours drive from Melbourne, is the resort for you. As the country’s free-ride and freestyle capital – the resort has four terrain parks for you to explore depending on your abilities and don’t be surprised if you see a big name or two working on their airs and grabs beside you.

Fox Trail is the terrain park designed for kids so best you try and avoid that unless you have a child with you that you can ‘blame’ for your presence.

Panorama Park is home to a few more grown-up, yet not completely terrifying, features where the risk of seriously injuring (or embarrassing) yourself remains relatively low. When it comes time to step it up a notch – the Ruined Castle Advanced Park is the next step and is probably best avoided unless you consider yourself to be of a certain standard. The Ruined Castle Expert Park is a place where you can expect to seriously injure yourself if you don’t know what you are doing. To help you understand what you’re contending with – it’s dubbed the “Big Daddy” of terrain parks. If this title alone terrifies you, probably best you stick to watching!

When the sun goes down and you aren’t tired yet, there are a range of fun bars to explore until the wee hours where drink deals, live music and flavoured vodkas reign supreme. Particularly popular are The Frying Pan Inn and Tom Dick and Harry’s Après Ski Bar.

Hotham Hotham Alpine Resort is located slap bang in the middle of the Australian Alps National Park – A.K.A – the real Australian wilderness! The village itself is located just 100m or so below the summit of Mt Hotham – which stands at 1861m and the resort boasts 13 lifts and 35km of tree-lined cross-country trails across 3.2 square kilometres of ski area.

The resort is a wonderful choice for groups where people have different levels of skill, but those amongst you looking to really push yourself will be pleased to hear that 40% of the terrain is considered advanced. In fact, the resort is known as being home to some of the most difficult runs in the whole country.

Much like Falls Creek, Hotham is a favourite with tricksters and their four terrain and rail parks cater to the needs of these show-offs! Whether Summit Terrain Park opens is weather dependent but if you do catch it on a good day – the jumps and rails throughout the course are designed for all abilities.

Perhaps the resorts crowning glory is the Skier/ Boarder Cross Course which was constructed way back in 2008 to World Cup standard. This is where the Australian and Canadian Skier X teams both trained and where the best athletes in the game come to ride chutes, kickers and rollers that would make any normal human beings stomachs churn. Those of you with a death wish or with very little common sense will be pleased to hear that the course is available for public use outside of training hours.

By Amy Baker

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SYDNEY

NEW SOUTH WALES This issue, we look at the lesser known regions of New South Wales, and take you on a tour of the surrounding areas of Sydney, including Port Stephens, Newcastle and Seal Rocks.

If you’re tired of city life in Sydney, and fancy a weekend break, a short holiday, or are thinking about relocating, then have a read of what’s on offer throughout this diverse state.

Port Stephens

Located two and a half hours north of Sydney, Port Stephens is a coastal destination that has earned the nickname “Blue Water Paradise”. This part of New South Wales is home to over 32 kilometers of beaches, beautiful bays, and plenty of opportunities for outdoor adventure. One of the biggest draws to the region is the chance to embark on a dolphin or whale watching tour, but there are many other activities such as hiking, cycling, motorbike riding, fishing and boating.

You’re spoilt for choice for things to do in Port Stephens. Have a spot of fishing with offshore and in the harbour with Hammerhead Charters, who will provide you with all materials, bait your hook and clean up your catch ready to be taken home and cooked. They also provide private whale and dolphin tours as well as estuary cruises. Diving and snorkeling are also a must in the crystal clear waters of Nelson Bay, provided by companies like Feet First Dive. It’s your choice whether to take part in a guided dive or to just snorkel freely, either way you will experience outstanding marine life up close and personal. If you prefer to stay on land, why not ride across the popular sand dunes on a camel’s back, a quad bike or in a 4WD? There are a number of tour companies that offer such experiences including Sand Dune Safaris, 4WD Tours R Us and Oakfield Ranch.

When it comes to food on Port Stephens, there’s a variety from all around the world. There’s a meaty offering of steak from The Shoreline Steakhouse Restaurant, beautiful local seafood at Merretts Restaurant and Nelson Bay Fisherman’s Wharf Seafoods, and Thai cuisine at Sanook Thai

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Restaurant and Anna Bay Thai Restaurant. And of course, there’s always the trusty Aussie Pizza Company and Dominos Pizza if you fancy a cheeky slice of cheese and tomato.

Seabreeze Hotel offers affordable accommodation best suited to a traveller needing a bed for the night.

Comfortable, fully air-conditioned with an en suite bathroom, a standard room would set you back $79 per night and the deluxe $89. The motel is located just five minutes from all the facilities that Nelson Bay and Port Stephens have to offer.

Larkwood of Lemon Tree would be perfect for a couple looking to unwind in a peaceful village. In this simplistic yet beautiful B&B, set in a secluded half-acre garden, you are just five minutes from the waters of Port Stephens. Stay in one of three double en-suite bedrooms that lead out to the pool for breakfast. Each room ranges from $110 per night during low season and $175 per night during high season. Go to www.larkwood.com.au to make a reservation.

If there’s a group of you staying together, Mantra Aqua Resort has two and three bedroom apartments up for grabs. Built around the swimming pool, this new resort also provides BBQ and chill-out areas, a spa and gym, for when you don’t fancy venturing out onto Nelson Bay. If you’re driving tWake the F3 Freeway north of Sydney for 2.5 hours to Port Stephens. A coach travels from Sydney to Port Stephens daily, while the Newcastle and Central Coast Line will take you as far as Hamilton Station via train. Pick up the Newcastle coach at the bus stop on Maitland Road in Hamilton.

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NEW SOUTH WALES Newcastle

Sitting on a peninsula reaching out to the sea at the mouth of the Hunter River, Newcastle is surrounded by stunning beaches and bustling harbour waterfronts, but with a thriving CBD. Novocastrians are extremely proud of their city and it’s easy to see why. But this is not only a quality spot to live in; there’s also an abundance of activities for those of you wanting to explore the area.

One of the city’s top selling points are its beaches.

It has a magnificent coastline, from the rolling sand dunes in Stockton in the north of the city - to the world-class waves of Merewether in the south. This is easily one of the best places for surfing in the country - what’s more, it does actually boast some of the top surfers in the world.

If you want to learn to surf then Stockton - and the far more popular Nobby’s Beach - are good places to head to. There are plenty of places where you can rent boards and a fair gathering of surf schools.

Stockton also offers beachfront camping and is more than worth a visit, even if the surf isn’t a major turn on. Newcastle Beach is a better choice for the hardened surfer, whilst Merewether Beach is a dream for any surfer with a death wish. Bar Beach, with its sheltered rock pool, and Dixon Park Beach are also popular, whilst there are also two ocean baths – one in Newcastle and another at Merewether.

Take a dip in the Bogey Hole (sounds tempting, doesn’t it?) at the foot of Shepherds Hill, beneath King Edward Park, which was cut into ocean rocks by convict workers in 1819.

Best Western Travellers Motor Village offers something for anyone on any budget. Whether you’re a big group looking for a spacious and comfortable apartment, a backpacker needing a bed for the night, or a couple wanting some spa relaxation and romance, Best Western can accommodate. Facilities include a landscaped garden, outdoor dining, barbeque area and a swimming pool. It is in a decent location in Mayfield, just five minutes from the centre of Newcastle, so anything you fancy is just a short distance away.

Visit www.tmv.com.au for more information on prices.

If you’re looking for a B&B by the beach, Brezza Bella’s is a winner. Located in Merewether, it offers delicious continental breakfasts with outside dining, exotic-themed rooms complete with luxury furnishings, and a barbequeue area all within a superb location. Perfect for singles and couples, Brezza Bella is just a short stroll from the beaches, boutique shops and quaint cafes for a romantic getaway. A single room costs $190 per night and a double $200 per night. Get more information on www.brezzabella.com.au To get there from Sydney, head north on the Sydney-Newcastle Freeway for 2 hours. There are constant return journeys along the Newcastle & Central Coast Line from Sydney, and Greyhound Australia coaches travel twice a day directly from Sydney Central Station to Newcastle.

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Seal Rocks

A beautiful, isolated part of New South Wales, with a small surface area and even smaller human population, Seal Rocks is an idyllic beach town 275km north of Sydney. Not surprisingly, the area is named after its history as home to a breeding colony of Australian fur seals. During the summer months, the seal population is considerable, reaching 16,000, and can easily be viewed from the mainland. Sharks and whales can also be spotted in the surrounding waters.

Seal Rocks’ most spectacular tourist attraction has to be Sugarloaf Point Lighthouse. Overlooking an unspoilt beach and the rocks which seals use to make their home, three outbuildings that adjoin the lighthouse have been turned into cottages to provide tourists with ideal accommodation. Built in 1875, it is the second-most easterly lighthouse in Australia, and still contains all its original charm and beauty.

Seal Rocks is a haven for those searching for an active day by the water. It’s a popular destination for divers, fisherman, surfers and bushwalking enthusiasts, despite the difficult access via private and unsealed roads.

A keen camper would revel in Treachery Camp at Seal Rocks. The site is free form, so you can book, arrive and set up camp wherever takes your fancy.

The amenities block is complete with hot showers, flushing toilets and washing and drying machines, and you can cook your dinner either on the provided gas barbeques or over campfire. Located behind Treachery Beach, you can eat and sleep under the stars and wake up to the sounds of the ocean. Prices are $14 per person during low and mid seasons, and $17 per person in peak season.

If you’re going to stay at Seal Rocks, go the whole hog and stay in one of the three Seal Rocks Lighthouse cottages. Not only do you have panoramic ocean views on your doorstep, the famous lighthouse is your next-door neighbour. Though you may not be able to knock for a cup of sugar, it will provide you with a rather nice setting for your holiday. Whether you’re looking for a midweek escape, romantic break or group holiday to go whale watching, surfing, admire the natural beauty or experience the nature trails, the lighthouse cottages suit all. The Head Keeper’s Cottage sleeps eight in three queen bedrooms with two additional single beds, while the two Assistant Keepers’ cottages sleep seven in two queen bedrooms with an additional single bed and convertible sofa. The Head Keeper’s Cottage costs $2600 per week during whale season and $3000 per week between October and April, but these do increase during school holidays. Check out www.sealrockslighthouseaccommodation.com.au to make a reservation.

As Seal Rocks is so treasured by locals, it is tricky to get to. By road, leave Sydney on the SydneyNewcastle Freeway, past Newcastle on Pacific Hwy. Turn onto The Lakes Way and follow down to Seal Rocks by Seal Rocks Road. The journey should take no longer than 3.5 hours. If you’re travelling by train, grab one from Sydney to Broadmeadow to Bungwahl, and then a taxi is your best bet to finish the journey down Seal Rocks Road.

Hawkesbury River

restaurants, take photographs of the scenery and wildlife and take in the history and development of the river.

There are plenty of boats for hire, from fishing and picnic boats for a few hours to house-boats and cruisers for overnight sleeping on the river! There is something to suit whatever journey, long or short.

A two-hour trip on Relaxation Boat Hire’s largest day hire boat, Picnic Boat, costs $250 for up to eight passengers, while their cruisers and houseboats are priced upon enquiry. Brooklyn Central Boat Hire provides a BBQ Boat seating a maximum of ten adults at a price of $250 for half a day or $350 for a full day.

Have a day out like no other down at Hawkesbury River. From cruises and boat and kayak hire to outstanding natural beauty home to a variety of wildlife, you will feel a million miles away from the hustle and bustle of the city, while only 50 miles down the road!

There are numerous tours, expeditions and cruises to suit everyone, from small groups to large crowds, wedding cruises and seaplane flights from Sydney.

Stop for a spot of lunch at one of the riverside

There are many individual properties along the Hawkesbury River suited to couples and adults only. The one-bedroom Treehouse aims to give you the most relaxing holiday you’ve ever had with an open-plan layout and decking along both levels, designating where to chill and where to dine.

A wood fire burns during the colder months and the sliding cedar shutters, windows and screens mean for maximum light and river air. Visit www. hawkesburyriver.com/accommodation for details and prices on all individual properties in the area.

If you’re going to go to Hawkesbury River, why not sleep on it? Houseboats are available from a variety of companies, but Able Hawkesbury River Houseboats easily offers the best choice. From the Aquavan Four Berth Houseboat making great use of its available space to sleep four, to the indulgent Five Star Spa containing outdoor dining, sun lounges, a gourmet BBQ, sound system, heated spa and plenty of space to sleep 10. Prices obviously reflect the boat, with the Aquavan Four Berth costing $510 for one night, compared to the luxury of Five Star Spa setting you back a cool $4110 for one night.

Visit www.hawkesburyhouseboats.com.au to see the full selection of boats on offer.

To get down to this beautiful region if you’re travelling by car, take the Sydney-Newcastle Freeway north to Brooklyn and you’ll be by the river in an hour! If you don’t own a car and have a valid driving license, you can always hire one from firms such as North West Auto Rentals, Hertz Australia and Delta Renta Car. By train, the Newcastle and Central Coast Line will take you directly from Sydney to Hawkesbury River Station. Finish the journey on the 592 bus from Hawkesbury River Railway Station on Dangar Road to Mooney Mooney Ambulance Station near Pacific Hwy, to get yourself closer to the river!

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VICTORIA From the Victorian gold rush boomtowns to rugged dramatic mountains, Victoria is rich in culture, history and native traditions... and it’s all practically on Melbourne’s doorstep. Sure there’re no rolling beaches or exotic jungles, but Victoria isn’t nicknamed the “Garden State” for nothing. Stunning plush green land make up the countryside outside Melbourne’s hustle and bustle, and it is all soaked in Victorian colonial history and world class wine. But if you’re itching for more extreme and heart pumping mischief, Victoria won’t be completely lost on you. Where Australian landscape presents extreme beauty, there too lie extreme sports.

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Goldfields

The Goldfields Region covers a wide extent of north-central Victoria, encompassing numerous historical villages. During the gold-rush of the 19th Century, small towns developed to accommodate all the workers who had scurried over to find their fortune. They are now relics of the days-goneby which are ready for you to eat, drink and hike your way through. A bountiful list of picturesque places placed in the green Aussie countryside. The main spots to check out include the large cities of Ballarat and Bendigo, the towns of Harcourt and Castlemaine, plus the many smaller villages like Maldon and Creswick.

The Goldfields Track is the famous path that was formed by gold seekers back in the 1850s. The 210 kilometre walkway takes you through the forests and towns of central Victoria, and is easily bushwalked or biked. You can even hire equipment and have a go at ‘fossicking’ for gold out in the wild... you never know, you might be the lucky one to find a bit of bling. For more information, visit www.goldfieldstrack.com.au Maldon is the best preserved town of the mining era due to its authenticity and preservation - it looks straight out of the Wild West! Ballarat’s Sovereign Hill celebrates the gold rush history by recreating the 1850s’ hustle and bustle. It’s like walking through a time machine on Main Street where you’ll find costumed characters and horse-drawn carriages.

The best live music in Ballarat can be found at Karova Lounge where home-grown Victoria bands play. Opposing Karova’s grungy vibe is Haida Bar. Cocktails and cheap drink offers attract abundant amounts of students, so for a traveller on a budget, pop in for a quick rave to their house beats. Just remember there’s a bit of a dress code: no thongs or skate shoes.

Other party places include The Bluestone and Babushka Lounge (fancy a “Dracula’s Blood” cocktail?). Or if you’re just after some chilled schooners, head to The Lake View Hotel or the good old Irish Murphy’s Ballarat. Old man pubs are pretty abundant in the Goldfields, but make perfect places to sip a beer and enjoy the sunset after a busy day. Of course, if you’re roaming in the ‘Apple centre of Victoria’, also known as the town of Harcourt, it would be blasphemous to not visit the famous ciderie of Henry of Harcourt, visit www.henrycider.com for more information.

The centrally located Ballarat Backpackers Hostel is in The Eastern Station Hotel where you can bag a bed for $40 a night. Prices for beds out in these small regional towns are steeper than in Melbourne, but plenty of motels are around, such as the Maldon Hotel where, again, it’s $40 for a room. Or splash out and stay somewhere authentic like a Miners Cottage (roughly $179 a night for a cottage for two) or in one of the grand dame hotels, like Craig’s Royal Hotel in Ballarat.

You can use the V/Line trains from Melbourne to get directly to some of the main destinations such as Bendigo and Ballarat, and connecting coach services are also available to whisk you to other parts of the Goldfields. To really explore the area, take a car. Driving the entire Goldfields route would take several days while making multiple stops at your leisure – a great way to take it all in.

Bendigo

The location that once drew hoards of gold diggers in the Victorian era continues to attract visitors.

Alas, there’s no gold left to nab and fashion into a fancy new gangster chain as a memento; instead, expect to be bombarded with an intense hit of rich heritage and bustling bars that make this regional city a must-see spot in the Goldfields region.

What really put Bendigo on the map was the 19th century gold boom. As soon as gold was found, the migrants came flocking to plunder all they could, making it the richest city in the world in the 1880s. And to top it off, they named the town after world-famous English bare-knuckle boxer, William Abednego Thompson. The ultimate Australian Victorian hotspot, some may say.

Bendigo Art Gallery is one of the oldest (and largest) regional galleries with a huge collection of paintings and decorative art. Continue over to the Golden Dragon Museum which celebrates the surprisingly long history of Chinese migrants who arrived to mine Bendigo back in the day.

Wander the streets and take in the impressive ornate Victorian architecture that parade the old wealth, such as The Shamrock Hotel, which has made it onto the Victorian Heritage Register. Once your legs tire, jump on the vintage Talking Tram to roll the streets in style or even tuck into a meal aboard the Bendigo Ninesevensix, the decadent restaurant on wheels, visit www.bendigoninesevensix.com.au for find out more.

The food and coffee scene is exploding as Bendigo reinvents itself as a foodie haven. Kitsch ‘Old Green Bean Cafe’ exudes the famous Melbourne cafe culture as it is uniquely decorated and won’t fail you in good coffee (it also sells vintage clothes). Or fancy something more... fancy? ‘Whirrakee’ delivers fine dining at a top-notch standard. So much so that it has become the first hatted Bendigo restaurant for a decade. Food is Bendigo’s new gold, don’t you know darling?

There are a couple of late night drinking holes but don’t arrive expecting a bustling party spot. Live music is favoured in Bendigo with various pubs and bars hosting local acts. The Shamrock Café and Bar (www.hotelshamrock.com.au) provide lazy afternoon drinking, but the Gold Dust Jazz Bar lurks in the basement and is the best venue in town. Live Jazz and Blues go late on the weekends.

Classic Aussie pubs are plentiful, like The Goldmines Hotel which has a pub garden lit by lanterns, plus BillyRoy’s Blues Bar in the cellar every Friday night. Star Bar is licensed till 5am on the weekends and Huha Club (huhaclub.com) hosts “Top Floor Friday”: Bendigo’s favourite Friday night hang-out.

There are an abundance of motels and hotels to choose from but go for the hostels if you’re on a budget. Bendigo Backpacker (or Buzza’s Backpackers) has quaint white picket fences and pink walls, and it is $30 a night for dorms.

Bendigo is only 150 kilometres away from Melbourne, making it an easy day trip out of the big city. You can make it in a 90 minute car journey or a two hour trip by V/Line trains or coaches. Trains from Southern Cross train station in Melbourne run regularly and will only set you back $46 return.

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VICTORIA Halls Gap

Nestled snugly in the Grampian Ranges, Halls Gap is the perfect base for you to launch yourself into the green Australian wilderness at your own relaxed pace or with numerous tours. The rugged landscape of the Grampians ensures panoramic stunning landscape and a bountiful list of sights to see and routes to hike.

It can take about three hours to drive up there from Melbourne but there are daily trains from Melbourne’s Southern Cross station that take you as far as Ararat, where a connecting coach service will bring you further out into the region (four hours).

If the journey sounds too tiresome, Autopia Tours organise day trips from Melbourne for $99 that will take you exploring around the region, including Halls Gap and the Grampians.

The Grampians National Park is bursting with native flora and fauna: emus, koalas, kangaroos, even wedge-tailed eagles can be spotted. The grand five sandstone ridges of the Ranges are real unique rock formations that run from north to south with steep craggy slopes. The earth movements over time have created impressive peaks and lookout points that can be explored with a variety of different walks. Just abide by the Park’s rules and regulations as no-one wants to have to play “hunt the lost tourist”. Of course, you could just drive and get up to the famous Boroka Lookout within half a day, which is perfect for those on tight deadlines. It gives great views across Halls Gap and the Mount William and Wonderland Ranges.

Take in the beauty and then get down to the Brambuk Cultural Centre that’s owned and run

by Aboriginals. Halls Gap possesses the longest running Aboriginal cultural centre, which is pretty bloody important since the area is steeped in Aboriginal history. The National Park is one of the richest indigenous rock art sites in south-eastern Australia, and guided tours to the ancient sites (and natural beauties) are led from here.

It’s all very striking and scenic, but where there’s an epic Australian setting, there’s sure to be some adventure activities to get that heart pumping full of adrenaline. Mountain biking, kayaking, dirt buggy tours, rock climbing and abseiling are just a few of the things you can get involved in. And after all that excitement, you can head down to the local pub, such as Halls Gap Hotel (www.hallsgaphotel.com.au) or Kookaburra Bar and Bistro (kookaburrabarbistro. com.au) for a heart-warming meal, or even visit the nearest winery to really round off your visit.

The Gap Vineyard takes care to conserve the local Aboriginal history and traditions, as well as create tasty tipples, so get around to knocking on their cellar door. Eco-friendly accommodation is favoured out here to ensure a minimal impact on the environment is made. Dorm rooms in Halls Gap Grampians YHA are $27 a night and Brambuk Backpackers offer dorms or 4-6 people share rooms for $25 per person/night. DULC are one of the many boutique cabins that are available and are so luxurious, they’re sure to give you a night’s shelter that you won’t forget.

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The Murray

The mighty Murray River is one of the world’s longest rivers and provides much fun and entertainment for all those who encounter it on their travels through Victoria. It is a huge river system that forms the border between Victoria and New South Wales, draining the surrounding lands all the way up to southern Queensland. Vineyards, lush greenery and activities fill this bustling town and it has become a backpacker hotspot due to the all the agricultural work available for those pursing their Second Year Working Visas.

Plenty of hostels are available in Mildura and the majority offer to help you find the agricultural visa work, they also offer weekly rates as many backpackers are after long-stay accommodation in order to work. Mildura International Backpackers and Oasis Backpackers are working hostels and offer $30 dorms per person/night, or slightly cheaper weekly rates of $150. Mildura City Backpackers is slightly cheaper at $22 a night. If you’re looking for something more upmarket, then visit www.visitmildura.com.au as they have plenty of hotels, motels, apartments and cottages to choose from.

Indulge in water sports whilst here with water skiing, sailing and wakeboarding all available. Kayaking is a great way to get to grips with the river and you can either take it calmly by paddling in a flooded forest... or go nuts on the rush of white water. Moontongue Tours run evening kayak trips, and the sky will blow your mind with the epic sunsets that occur – not to mention being the opportune time to spy on the animal life too. Mildura is also a great jump off point to get to Mungo National Park where the alien landscape is breathtaking.

The Sandbar is a big iconic building that boasts the largest licensed beer garden and is the home of live music in this town. But on a Saturday night, the after-pub crowd will flock to Dom’s Nightclub and Retro Bar for some dancing.

Camping is an obvious choice to really get amongst the wilderness around the Murray and there are plenty of bush campsites to choose from. Around Mildura, there are the odd stretches of sandy beaches to camp on with picturesque Murray views, such as Merbein Common and Bruces Bend. Other pockets of interest along the Murray are the historic river towns of Echuca and Moama who boast the title of Australia’s paddle steamer capital, where you can cruise the river in colonial style. Be sure to get involved in the high quality wine region of Swan Hill. The speciality is Chardonnay, but try a variety just to be sure.

Swan Hill is a four hour drive and Echuca is two and a half hours along the Hume Freeway. V/Line trains are also available. Mildura is an epic six hour drive, so catch a Virgin Australia or Qantas flight instead if time is of the essence. An alternative way of getting from town to town via the Murray is to commandeer your very own houseboat. Try out Willandra Houseboats (www.willandrahouseboats.com.au).

You don’t need a boat license to captain one and each one comes with fully equipped kitchens and a BBQ on board.

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

QUEENSLAND

The picturesque sights of Queensland are impossible to justify on a postcard. Combining relaxation and adventure, the area can feed the appetite of all types of traveler. Sun yourself on the beautiful multicoloured sands in Rainbow Beach, immerse yourself in the culture of Torres Straits, explore the magical rainforests on the Sunshine Coast, or experience the exhilaration of Scootero in Agnes Water. Queensland is Australia’s adventure playground experience.

Rainbow Beach

If you’re looking for a laidback location with a touch of adrenaline, then Rainbow Beach is the ideal place to visit. Home to some of the most amazing natural attractions found in the world, this beach gets its name from the beautiful coloured sand dunes on the 23 km stretch.

Whether you’re an adrenaline junkie searching for a thrill or just want to relax and take in the scenery, the area has something for everyone. To name a few, sea kayaking with dolphins, 4WDriving, skydiving and scuba diving with sharks is a fraction of what’s on offer.

Diving is one of the most popular activities in Australia. Wolf Rock in Rainbow Beach is a popular scuba diving site for grey nurse sharks and is considered to be one of Australia’s top ten diving destinations. Providing some incredible diving with plenty of vertical gutters and overhanging ledges to explore, it is the perfect site for multi-level diving.

If you want a sociable, modern and relaxing place to stay, Fraser’s on Rainbow Beach (www.frasersonrainbow.com) has an authentic atmosphere that will make you feel at home in one of the most picturesque settings in Australia.

If your money’s getting a bit tight, you can take a walk to the Carlo Sand Blow to see one of the most prestigious sunset spots on the east coast. If you want to follow the rainbow down to Fraser Island, this hostel offers Self Drive Tag-A-Long Camping Safari to explore the amazing island and its many crystal clear lakes and creeks. The two or three night Tag-A-Long camping safari starts from $389.00 and is all-inclusive, except for your accommodation, visit: www.frasersonrainbow.com To get to Rainbow beach from Brisbane city, you can take the Cooloola Connect shuttle service through www.coolconnect.com.au. Or for around $47 you can jump on the Greyhound, which will take around 5 hours and 30 minutes, book on their website: www.greyhound.com.au

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Sunshine Coast

Discover the natural, unspoiled beauty of the Sunshine Coast’s tropical rainforests, white sandy beaches and scenic tours. The region has a total population of around 200,000 and is divided into three areas; Noosa in the north, Maroochy in the middle and Canloundra at the southern end - Sunshine Coast has the complete package. Whether you’re looking for luxurious 5* accommodation or seek a backpackers hostel on budget, this area houses for both needs.

The Noosa region is long regarded as the playground of the rich and famous. Boasting some beautiful beaches, a pristine river, cosmopolitan lifestyle and a busy calendar of events, Noosa is the place to have an unforgettable escape.

Whilst you’re on the Sunshine Coast, make sure you don’t miss the opportunity to feed an elephant, pet a koala and cuddle up to a kangaroo. Steve Irwin’s Australia Zoo lets you experience encounters with native and exotic animals. Watch crocodile and tiger shows, and get a chance to see sharks and stingrays face-to-face.

If you buy an Animal Action Pass from www.experienceoz.com.au/discounted-passincluding-australia-zoo-and-underwater-world/ animal-action-pass you can visit the Australia Zoo as well as UnderWater World, giving yourself $6 extra to spend however you wish.

If you want to live life on the wild side and have an unforgettable experience, then try skydiving on the Sunshine Coast, which gives you some spectacular views and a thrilling experience.

For a 10,000 feet tandem skydive through the company Oz Experience it’ll set you back $350.

Or if you’re feeling brave, a 14,000 feet tandem skydive will cost $399.

Once you’re up in the air, you will experience views better than anything you’ve seen on the ground.

Book through the site: www.experienceoz.com.

au/sunshine-coast/activities/skydiving-on-thesunshine-coast/tandem-skydiving-over-coolumbeach For a thrill closer to ground, cable watersports are the latest in extreme sports, where you can master Wakeboarding, Kneeboarding, Wakeskating or Waterskiing. For general ski tickets, visit: www.gowakesunshinecoast.com.au for Go Wake Cable Park, one hour cost $38 and a day pass is $58.

There’s over 70 kilometres of white surf beaches stretching across the coast, so you can ride clean waves and visit the awesome breaks. Learning to surf on the Sunshine Coast is easy and accessible; you can rent equipment and book lessons through companies that are found around the beach and are easy to spot.

If you’re just passing through, then you can get a bed in a hostel from around $19 per night. This rate can be found at Nomads Noosa, through the site www.nomadsworld.com/hostels/australia/nomadsnoosa. As part of the Nomad chain, this hostel has a central location, a party atmosphere and is only 800 meters from the beach. The smallest dorm is eight beds but if you’re out having fun, you won’t notice the crowded sleeping arrangements.

For something more long term and a little less cosy, then you can bag yourself an apartment from around $74 a night. If you’re traveling with friends, or picked some up on the way, then this could be a cheaper option if you’ve decided to stay for a short while.

To travel from Brisbane, the Greyhound (www.greyhound.com.au) stops along the Sunshine Coast where you can hop on and off. If you fancy something a bit outrageous, then just hire a Wicked camper van. Visit their site: www.wickedcampers.com.au to see prices ranging from $19.99 to $89.00, depending on the size of the camper. You can cruise along the coastal roads with ‘Hendrix Rocks’ written on the side of van.

Agnes Water

Agnes Water is described as one of Australia’s best-kept secrets. It is Queensland’s northern-most surf beach and is surrounded by beautiful National Parks. There is so much to do, and see, including fishing, 4WDriving, yachting, surfing, swimming, sailing, diving, bushwalking, bird watching and you can even learn to fly. Finding something that you will fall in love with will not be hard here.

If you’ve ever dreamed about joining a biker crew, you can experience the exhilaration of Scooteroo (www. scooterrootours.com), which is voted as “One of the top five things to do on the East Coast”. This activity gives you the feeling of riding along the open road on your own mini Chopper motorcycle with a “Biker Pack”, while dressed in flamed leather Jackets.

If you’re more interested in appreciating natural beauty, The Lady Musgrave boat tour lets you take in the incredible beauty of the Great Barrier Reef. Lady Musgrave Island and Lagoon is one of a kind in the outer Great Barrier Reef, where the big vessels enter the Lagoon, book on the site: www.lmcruises.com.au The Tree Bar is a place that’s brought people together since 1770 in Agnes Water. It’s located on the beachfront and has great sights, amazing views of the water and surrounds.

Beachside Backpacker is the closest hostel to the beach in town (www.1770beachsidebackpacker. com.au). They offer a wide range of holiday accommodation options, from self-catering and luxury apartments to a fully equipped hostel located that is 200 meters from Agnes Water Main Beach.

Alternatively, you could stay in Agnes Palms Beachside Apartments for up to $160 a night. Or, for a two-bedroom apartment, the winter special will cost $100 a night on their website: www.agnespalms.com.au.

The Agnes Tavern is a great watering hole that also offers accommodation.

You can enjoy their live entertainment in the beer garden, visit www.agnestavern.com.au for more info.

From Brisbane, the travel time is around five hours. If you’re hiring a car, just travel north through Bundaberg and follow the signs through to Agnes Water. You can hire a Mighty Camper through www.mightycampers.com.au from $35 per day, so $105 for a threeday adventure. Or you can jump on the Greyhound bus (www.greyhound.com. au) and hop off at your location.

Torres Strait Islands

Enjoy the peaceful existence of island life at the Torres Strait Islands, a group of at least 274 small islands that lie in Torres Strait. Rich in culture, this place is a secret traveller destination that offers a unique experience and insight into the culture of the islanders.

Only 14 of the islands are inhabited, the best known of them is Thursday Island (or TI as the locals call it). TI can be accessed on a boat from Bamaga on the mainland and nearby Horn Island where Torres Strait’s airport is located. Bamanga is 2,677 km from Brisbane, so if you want to take a road trip, this will take you about a day.

This is a great trip to take if you want to really immerse yourself in the culture of the Island people. Torres Strait Islanders’ have a rich culture in the arts and their lifestyle has evolved from the ocean and its abundance of wildlife.

The islands take their name from the strait that separates the Australian mainland at Cape York from the south coast of Papua New Guinea.

The Torres Strait Islanders came from Melanesia and Polynesia around 2000 years ago. TI was once a major pearling centre and some pearls are still produced there from seeded ‘culture farms.’

taking in all the major tourist sites.

They also run Cape York 4WDrive day trips and Horn Island WWII tours, which can be found on their site: www.peddellsferry.com.au If fishing’s more your thing, Tony’s Island Adventures offers fishing trips and tours of various Torres Strait Islands, including Friday, Hammond and Goodes Islands. Explore the Island with local Tony Titasey who draws on his thousand year seafearing ancestry.

The cheapest deal for your accommodation on Thursday Island is the Jardine Motel. A sea-view room will cost around AUD $240, the motel is on the main street of TI. The rooms are basic but clean, comfortable and in a great location, email jardinemotel@bigpond.com to book a room.

If you want to throw yourself in with the locals, then try Poruma Island Lodge, through www.audleytravel.com. It overlooks the Poruma Island’s finest beach and consists of two large thatched roof lodges.

By Lucie Potter

To really appreciate the diversity of the island, visit Gab Titui Cultural Centre, which houses a modern gallery displaying the cultural history of the Torres Strait. Cultural events and exhibitions by local artists are all hosted at the centre, as well as featuring artifacts, artwork, song, dance and stories from the islands.

To really appreciate the diversity of the island, visit Gab Titui Cultural Centre, which houses a modern gallery displaying the cultural history of the Torres Strait. Visit: www.gabtitui.com. au to find out more.

On TI, every two years in September, The Torres Strait Cultural Festival and a Music Festival are staged to celebrate the Islands culture. The cultural blend has shaped the remote townships into a fascinating destination.

This unique tropical region is virtually untouched and surrounds the Great Barrier Reef. It homes some of the world’s most stunning blue waters as well as an abundance of marine life.

This includes dugongs, dolphins, giant marlin and sea turtles.

On the Island, Peddells Ferry Island Tourist Bureau offers bus tours of TI,

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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

SOUTH AUSTRALIA Barossa Valley and Clare Valley

Barossa Valley Shiraz is world famous, available in almost every wine shop worth its salt, but it tastes even better when drunk in view of the vines that produced it, surrounded by an oldie-worldie vibe brought on by the thatched buildings and wooden barns that dot the landscape. The valley is a prime spot for indulging in some locally produced foods, which provide the perfect accompaniment to the wine.

The valley has three major towns. Tanunda experienced some early immigration from Silesia, now modern day Poland, and their influence manifests itself in some of the local cuisine with a few more pickled foods than you’d expect elsewhere in the country. Angaston has a more Cornish feel about it, and as you would expect focuses more on ice creams, while Nuriootpa is a mish mash between the two and has become the main economic hub in the area.

From Adelaide to Barossa Valley, Clare Valley and Kangaroo Island, we look at some of the delights that South Australia have to offer.

The first part of Australia to be colonised by free settlers, South Australia has none of the penal history of the rest of the country. Starting with an aim to promote tolerance, the state was the first province anywhere in the world to allow women to stand for election to public office. Maintaining its reputation for forward-thinking politics, the state also has a thriving cultural scene with the arts playing a particularly large part in the Southern Australian identity.

It’s a bit of a foodie heaven as well with a particular focus on locally produced wines and food, with many small-scale producers experiencing a recent boom in custom; something the locals are becoming increasingly proud about.

It’s not all high-class food and highbrow entertainment, however. South Australia has an epic coastline for all types of activities, and if you want to experience a game of Aussie rules football, South Australia boasts the highest average crowds in the country, providing an excellent atmosphere to watch the game. Maybe not the first place you’d think about visiting, but nonetheless has plenty to offer.

Adelaide

The capital of South Australia, such were the high minded ideals on which the city was founded, original plans for Adelaide didn’t include a jail (although one had to be built after an initial spate of burglaries) and a high level of religious tolerance attracted a plethora of different denominations, leading to the moniker ‘city of churches’. It is an extremely easy city to live in and get around, as everything is just a short distance away. The Adelaide Botanic Gardens (one of twenty-nine parks) and Adelaide Zoo are right next door to each other, while the beaches and Adelaide Hills are only a 30 minute drive away!

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Adelaideans are known for their love of wine and food. The wine capital of Australia, household names are located here such as Penfolds, Jacob’s Creek and Wolf Blass, to name a few. The city is also home to the National Wine Centre of Australia, where you can tour the vineyard and taste wine from all over the country. Adelaide Central Market has been going for 140 years and holds more than 80 stalls full of local produce that will keep you coming back every Sunday. If you fancy eating out, there are plenty of restaurants and pubs from The Brasserie to Vietnam Village.

The city plays host to festivals of all varieties, shapes and sizes, including a film festival, ideas festival and a writers week. With all of them held around March, it caused the month to gain the local nickname ‘Mad March,’ as the city transforms itself. Throughout the rest of the year other festivals celebrate prominent immigration groups, such as the German Schützenfest and the Greek Gleni.

For the sociable traveller, you can’t go wrong with Backpack Oz. Providing a beer garden and spacious common areas to chat to fellow travellers, as well as Happy Hour at the bar and free Wifi when you want to call home. Private single rooms are available for just over $66 per night. A six to twelve mixed dorm room costs just under $27 per night.

If you’re looking for something a bit more upmarket, La Loft Apartments offers comfortable accommodation in Northern Terrace, Halifax, Unley and Parkside. Apartments range from one and three bedrooms, penthouse and executive, all situated close to restaurants, bars and shops. Prices vary depending on apartment, but with the two bedroom apartments, the longer you stay the less you pay per night. In June, a three-night stay in Parkside costs $176 a night, while a seven-night stay costs $135 a night.

Clare Valley is a little further away from Adelaide, around 120 km. The hot days and cold nights provide the perfect climate for the white wine variety Riesling and it’s this that makes up most of the areas production. A devastating bush fire in 1983 destroyed large swaths of vineyards and damaged the local train line beyond repair. However, a 35 km long cycle route called ‘The Riesling Trail’ was built in its place linking the villages in the valley together.

Top Drop Motel promises to give you a quiet, cosy night’s sleep. Whether you’re a lone traveller or embarking on an adventure with friends, there are rooms to suit all on a budget. Complete with en-suite bathrooms, internet access and laundry facilities to give you everything you need on your stay, you will be right in the heart of Barossa Valley in Nuriootpa and within reach of everything the valley has to offer. For rates on all rooms, you can find contact information on www.topdropmotel.com.au.

Get the full experience of Barossa Valley at Lyndoch Hill. Surrounded by a rose garden boasting 30,000 flowers, the hotel features a worldclass restaurant serving gorgeous local produce, a seasonal swimming pool, wedding facilities and 34 rooms overlooking the garden and various vineyards. Rooms range from queensize to triple rooms and family rooms, but the location would benefit a couple looking to unwind. Room prices don’t change much through the seasons, with the Barossa Style room charging $255 each weekend night in June and $275 in December.Wuthering Heights accommodation in Clare Valley provides three secluded, self-contained cottages spaced far enough apart from each other to ensure private bliss. Cathy’s Cottage and Glen Morris would suit a couple seeking a romantic getaway while Bronte Manor sleeps larger groups wanting fun amongst the rolling hills of Clare Valley.

If you’re using public transport, the Adelaide Metro rail service stops at Gawler Central, where you can catch a LinkSA bus that travels throughout the Barossa Valley. If you’re heading to Clare Valley, Coaches travel from Adelaide to Clare Valley daily.

And of course, you could always hire a car and go it alone for a real adventure.

Kangaroo Island

The site of the first settlement in South Australia, Kangaroo Island is a microcosm of the country at large showcasing the variety of landscape and wildlife that the country has to offer.

Beaches, dense forest, sand dunes and rugged cliffs provide a home for a great collection of wildlife, with different sights and sounds all year round. Wildlife spotting tours take you to all the natural habitats and teach you the signs to look out for. Along the way you could see kangaroos (surprise, surprise), wallabies, Australian sea lions and New Zealand fur seals, koalas, heath goannas, possums, frogs and bats. If it’s too much like hard work trying to find the animals in the wild, pay a visit to Parndana Wildlife Park or Paul’s Place Wildlife Sanctuary, where you can get up close and personal with an abundance of animals, including hand-feeding kangaroos and cuddling koalas.

If the animals all get a bit much for you, the locals love boutique restaurants with gourmet food produced from the island’s natural bounty. Consume gorgeous fresh fish from Fish takeaway or The Penneshaw Hotel, locally produced sheep cheeses from the Island Pure Sheep Dairy and sweet, fresh honey by the Ligurian bee from Clifford’s Honey Farm. You can relax and visit Euclayptus Distilleries and Lavender Farms, or get the blood pumping with tours of the surrounding waters via a helicopter or speedboat and Kangaroo Island Bush Getaway Adventures’ quad bike tours and paintball activities. Try something a little different and go sand boarding on the golden slopes of Little Sahara.

You can get the ferry over as a pedestrian or with your car, from Cape Jervis – which takes about 45 minutes, or you can fly from Adelaide. There is the full assortment of accommodation from 5 stars to campsites so you can pick from luxury and budget and still have a great time.

Camp at Kangaroo Island Shores and you’ll experience the best of the island, overlooking stunning Hog Bay beach. This is an ideal base for caravanning and camping, with powered and unpowered sites, BBQ and laundry facilities and communal showers, in a central location. The powered site charges from $27 to $30 per night, while the unpowered site is between $23 and $25 per night.

If you’re going to stay somewhere as relaxing and beautiful as Kangaroo Island, why not take advantage of the Health Retreat? Designed to detox and heal your body, programs have been designed specifically to cleanse, rejuvenate, de-stress and lose weight with the help of a sauna and spa, yoga, pilates, massage and nutrition education. As the aim is for complete detoxification, it only keeps up to eight guests and is not designed for those looking for a bit of pampering, it takes hard work and determination!

The whole package, which includes a private bedroom and bathroom with ocean views, will set you back $1080.

Drive on South Road following signs for Kangaroo Island. Take the Kangaroo Island sealink/B23 ferry to Penneshaw. The ferry can also be taken by pedestrians and cyclists.

A flight from Adelaide to Kingscote Airport (13km from the capital) takes 30 minutes by Regional Express.

By Charlotte Mellor

www.bbmlive.com 25

GLOBAL WATCH

Samoa

Think of picturesque stretches of white sandy beaches, surrounded by turquoise ocean and lagoons, flourishing rainforests that nurture the cascading waterfalls, and famously hospitable locals with their generous spirit and humble nature.

This is Samoa – the heart of the South Pacific.

Made up of nine separate islands, of which two are main islands – Savai’i and Upolu, which holds the nation’s capital Apia - nothing can prepare you for the exhilarating journey that lies ahead.

The islands of Samoa lie approximately 5632km northeast of Australia, either one-stop flights from Melbourne and Perth or direct flights from Sydney and Brisbane are available. The direct flight from Sydney to Faleolo International Airport near Apia is about 5 hours and from Brisbane to Apia, a little under 5 hours. The one-stop flight from Melbourne to Apia takes 7 ½ hours and from Perth, roughly 10 hours.

Upon arriving, you’ll find the best ways to get around is by bus or taxi. Taxis are plentiful around the islands and are great value; however, it is best to settle on a price before heading off. Take in the scenic views while riding the bus; as there no bus stops, just wave at a bus if you need to get on.

Both islands are blessed with an abundance of natural springs and waterfalls so for a refreshing dip, head to Papaseea Sliding Rock, found in the Faleata District of Apia.

Hidden deep within mountainous jungle is the spectacular sight of Fuipisia Falls, in southeast Upolu - witness clear rushing water hemmed with white foam plummeting 180ft into a stream of freshwater. On the south-eastern tip of Upolu, a tree-wreathed mountain creates an impressive backdrop to the brilliant white sands of Lalomanu Beach. The ideal place to relax or snorkel, with its shimmering turquoise lagoon, stunning coral reef and the soft sea breeze gently rocking the palm trees, there is no wonder as to why it is considered one of the most idyllic beaches in the South Pacific.

With a choice of waves so diverse, Samoa is definitely a surfer’s paradise. Beneath the breaking waves, the chance to venture into Samoa’s aquatic wonderland awaits. The enchanting reefs are home to a wondrous array of marine life; for an unforgettable snorkelling experience visit Lano Beach on the north-east coast of Savai’i.

For an excellent place to buy gifts and souvenirs, along with any items of clothing you may have forgotten to pack, head to Old Apia Market. The flea market has an interesting range of finely designed handicrafts, from jewellery to wall hangings made from traditional tapa cloth.

The Samoan cuisine comprises of fresh, locally sourced produce: expect bountiful feasts of brightly coloured fruit and vegetables, with pork and fresh caught seafood. There are plenty of cafes and restaurants around to grab a tasty meal, and a variety of western options are also available. A few suggestions include: Amani’s Restaurant – Fugalei Street, Apia This charming eatery offers tantalising traditional dishes at affordable prices, to eat-in or takeaway.

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Le Lagoto Vailili Restaurant – Fagamalo, Savai’i Dine on reasonably priced flavoursome delicacies, freshly caught from the ocean.

Marketi Fou - Fugalei Street, Apia Conveniently located behind Old Apia Market, Marketi Fou has an appetising selection of fresh vegetable and fruit to stock up on and is open daily.

The broad choice of fruits available include juicy mangoes, a variety of bananas and sweet pawpaw.

There are also scrumptious traditional foods such as Samoan pancakes and palusami, a dish made with coconut milk and taro leaves.

The emerging nightlife in Samoa offers a mixture of unique clubs and bars, while incorporating interesting cultural shows and events. Whether you want to relax while watching the sun dip below the horizon at an exquisite beach bar or enjoy a lively night out, Apia is the prime location. Some great places to visit include: Lighthouse Bar & Grill – Beach Road, Apia During the week, Lighthouse serves delicious grilled food and a range of drinks. Over the weekend, the transformation into a nightclub makes it a fantastic place to meet people on the busy dance floor.

The Le Vasa Resort Fiafia Show - Cape Fatuosofia, Upolu The luxury beachfront resort hosts traditional Fiafia nights, and offers a superb insight into the country’s culture.

Aggie Grey’s Resort – Mulifaunua Village, Apia Two bars - Bloody Mary’s and Solent Bar located within the resort, each have their own fun atmosphere and signature cocktails.

From quaint backpacker rooms to extravagant coastal resorts, Samoa has the perfect accommodation to suit everyone’s needs. For those looking for a traditional experience, thatched-roof fales perch on most beachfronts and are furnished to your requirements, with either a simple sleeping mat or soft beds.

Dave Parker’s Eco-Lodge – Tapatapao, Aleisa East, Apia, Rates: From $45 pp This tranquil mountain top lodge provides guests with stunning panoramic views of Apia and the island of Savai’i. The affordable accommodation also arranges complimentary travel to central Apia, which is only a ten minute drive.

Apia Central Hotel – Savalalo Road, Apia Rates: From $110 pp Located in the bustling streets of central Apia, this hotel fulfils its promise of convenience and comfort. Guests will receive free continental breakfasts during their stay and second-to-none local knowledge.

Tanu Beach Fales – North Coast Road, Savai’i Rates: From $80 Famous for its Samoan flair, this family-run business offers guests traditional fales packed with numerous facilities while being the place to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

By Erica Mahendren

TRAVEL ESSENTIALS Each month, we bring you the best travel essentials that we’ve tried and tested. From gadgets to cosmetics, here’s the best products we’ve found this month!

GlobalGig

A new device that lets you take your mobile broadband with you!

When you head off to the Lions Tour, be sure to pack your Globalgig - a nifty little gadget that can provide Wi-Fi access for up to five devices (smartphones, laptops and tablets), without the need for any extra SIM. The new hotspot device is not only sleek, light and easily portable, but the simple and affordable flat rate data plans to choose from mean that you can breathe a sigh of relief and avoid those annoying, rip-off data-roaming charges when you travel.

Priced in useful monthly bundles of 1GB for £10/$9 (AUS), 2GB for £15 (or 3GB for $19) and 5GB for £23/$29, there’s no long-term contract, no hidden charges and, if you want to upgrade, downgrade or terminate, you simply provide notice by email up to 48 hours prior to the end of your billing cycle.

Best of all, Globalgig has a range of up to 130ft outdoors, so you can place the gadget in a room, or in your bag or jacket, and still have access to the Internet as normal!

All you need is the Globalgig hotspot device and SIM, and you get to stay connected across the UK, Ireland and Australia without paying a penny in roaming charges. Don’t leave home without it!

Available from www.globalgig.com and www.amazon.com

The SKYCIG Freedom

The SKYCIG Freedom offers the most realistic smoking experience and can be used virtually anywhere, even in places that have the “no smoking” sign!

In the know for Frequent Flyers...

These indispensable cigarettes contain just a small dose of nicotine, allowing you to enjoy the act of smoking without the obvious health implications. It costs 75% less than traditional cigarettes and is available in seven unique and great tasting flavours, so be sure to pack some for the trip!

White Glo Travel Pack

$77, available from www.skycig.co.uk

It’s a slim-lined travel pack that includes a travel size toothbrush, White Glo toothpaste and complimentary pocket-sized dental floss toothpicks.

REALM RH658m Scosche Headphones

These stylish and lightweight headphones are a travel necessity for any music lover.They emit an impeccable sound, as well as providing ultimate usability.

Made from memory foam cushions, they’re designed to conform to your inner ear shape.They come with a faux leather headband ensuring a comfortable fit for long hours.

They’re compatible with the latest iPod, iPhone and ipad models and you’ll even be able to take calls and have handsfree conversations using your smartphone with the built in microphone feature on the cable! $122 available in black or white from www.amazon.co.uk

Aquapac iPhone 5 Case

The Mini Whanganio iPhone 5 case from Aquapac is a must for any traveller.

The waterproof case fits all models of the iPhone and allows you to still make calls, text and search the Internet thanks to the Lenzflex window in the rear of the case.

So now you’ll never have to worry about your phone getting wet or covered in sand ever again!

Scared of suffering bad breath after a few hours sleep on a long haul flight? Freshen up in seconds with the White Glo Travel Pack.

Your mouth will feel fresh as a daisy and you’ll notice your teeth whiter within 3 days of use! $5 available from Boots Airlines stores nationwide

Simple Kind To Skin Moisture Boost Hydro Mist

Sweaty skin is a not a good look but it happens to most of us as we rush to the airport or after spending hours on a plane.

Just a few quick sprays of Simple’s new hydro mist, you’re face will feel refreshed as it restores moisture into your skin. It can even be used over make-up and will fit easily into your bag. $9 available from www.simple.co.uk

Halo Hygiene Wipes

These handy pocket-sized wipes will get rid of daily grime and bacteria to leave your hands feeling cleansed, refreshed and moisturised. $1.55 available from www.boots.com

$31 available from www.aquapac.net

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GLOBAL WATCH

WORLD’S BEST

TOWNS

Dettifoss– Jökulsárgljúfur, Iceland

Dettifoss is one of the best off-the-beaten-track towns in the country and home to Europe’s largest waterfall. You’ll experience nature at its best, as well as catch a glimpse of rural Icelandic living.

Fancy exploring somewhere a little more off-the-beaten-track on your travels? BBM has found some of the best hidden gems the guidebooks forget to tell you about...

Haines - Haines Borough, Alaska

Essaouira - Marrakech, Morocco

If you’re feeling adventurous, a trip to Haines has to be top of the list. Known as the Adventure Capitol of Alaska, you’ll be able to submerge yourself in its tremendous scenery, intriguing culture and endless exhilarating activities.

Travel a few hours outside Marrakech and you’ll discover the laid-back port and fishing town, Essaouira.

With fairy-tale battlements and pristine beaches it’s the ideal destination for a relaxing holiday away from the major tourism sights.

Fredericksburg - Texas, USA Venture outside Austin and you’ll find Fredericksburg, a remarkable small German town at the heart of the Texas Hill Country. It’s lined with bald cypress trees, shimmering lakes and limestone canyons - a prime example of a quaint town that deserves more recognition in the guidebooks.

Campeche - State of Campeche, Mexico

Campeche is the ideal choice if you’re after an unconventional experience in Mexico, away from the crowds. It’s a captivating port packed full of naval history, Baroque Spanish architecture and ecological attractions.

La Boca - Buenos Aires, Argentina

The streets of La Boca are lined with colourful houses and taverns rich with Italian roots and Tango traditions.

To experience true Argentinean life, catch a soccer game and enjoy the town’s tango street artists.

Sibiu - Transylvania, Romania

Sibiu is more known by its German name Hermannstadt, and is rich with architectural delights. The cultural life is thriving, making it the perfect town to visit and immerse yourself in the traditional Romanian lifestyle.

Sergiev Posdad - Moscow, Russia

This picturesque suburb is home to the most beautiful monastery in Russia, Holy Trinity St. Sergius Lavra. As one of the holiest places in the country, this fortress style structure is breath-taking and a sight that shouldn’t be missed.

Kawagoe - Tokyo, Japan

In Kawagoe you can experience the traditional Japan that you can’t get in Tokyo.

You’ll feel as if you’ve travelled back in time to ancient Edo as you visit temples, fill up on authentic cuisine and absorb Japanese culture.

Mai Chau - Hoa Binh, Vietnam

Mai Chau is a beautiful valley away from the hustle and bustle of Hanoi.

At first glance it might look unappealing, but the town soon transforms into a gem once you emerge on the rice fields and see rural community.

A definite must see.

Narlai - Rajasthan, India

Narlai is a beautifully charming town scattered with marble structures and stunning old temples including the fascinating Baijnath Mahadev Temple.

Make sure you keep a day spare to explore the town’s breath-taking series of large caves.

Coober Pedy, South Australia

It might look like a ghost town, but scratch beneath the surface and you’ll find Australia’s most unique town. Due to extreme temperatures residents actually live underground!

Be sure to explore their underground museums, churches, art galleries and opal mines.

LIONS TOUR BAR GUIDE SPECIAL

News from the Lions Den...

The Lion Up...

The day after the Lions squad announcement, The Sydney Morning Herald trumpeted: “No Surprise as Gatland Opts for Slabs of Red Meat”. This is a predictable reaction from a country that invented mind games and sledging.

The theory being you have got to take the Wallabies on upfront where they are weakest.

For what it’s worth, a front row of any three - from Jenkins, Jones, Coles, Healy or Hartley - will be too good for whoever the Aussies choose to scrum down with. But let’s look at the two selections of Matt Stevens and Mako Vunipola both surprise inclusions.

Bromance of Rugby Reunite for Lions

They are not necessarily test match Saturday starters, nor big technical scrummagers, but they are players that have the biggest impact in the loose.

They would not have picked either if the series had been in South Africa.

Australia aren’t the best team in the world, but they are the cleverest; they own intellectual rugby property rights. They are the thinkers of the game more than any other team, and to beat them you need brains as well as brawn.

Now let’s consider the two number tens, Sexton and Farrell, two tens not three.

The risk here is that an injury to either leaves the Lions thin on the ground in an important area.

Bromance has become popular in the 21st century, hasn’t it? Well, there is one that has become popular in rugby: Sam Warburton and Dan Lydiate.

The two flankers haven’t played together for nearly a year after establishing themselves in the 2011 World Cup, and the two are relishing getting back into action. No, people, action as in rugby not sex!

But, then, there’s no point having three tens. When can you give three tens enough game time in the lead up to the tests? You can’t, so don’t try. If both tens have enough time on and off the field to drive the tactical approach from the outset, to drive strategy, then no matter who the 14 other players on the field are, cohesion will follow.

Lydiate has been out injured for six months and has been called up for the Lions Tour of Australia across the summer. Lydiate said that he is glad to be back with Warburton, telling the media about their relationship, “We’ve been friends for a while now and are good mates off the field. I haven’t played with him for a year and hopefully we’ll get a chance somewhere along the tour to play together again.”

The rest of the squad has a strong leader, back row ball carriers, impact players from the bench, grace and grunt in the centres, vast experience in key positions, players who can play in wide open spaces, and those who can get down and get dirty in the mud.

Hopefully, their return doesn’t result in bear hugging; captain Brian O’Driscoll will want full concentration when they return down under in the summer.

O’Driscoll Getting Nervy?

It seems to us like Captain O’Driscoll is getting a bit nervy against his opponents Down Under in his old age. The Lions captain spoke to the press, describing the threat that their opponents offer, “They have got a lot of options. (James) O’Connor needs to fit into the back line with Israel Folau now as well, and there are the new guys who are coming through like (Jesse) Mogg, the fullback from the Brumbies. All these guys are going to start pushing for places.”

So either O’Driscoll is worried or the painful truth is that Four Lions have noone pushing for places. But with news that Sam Lydiate is in the squad for the 2013 tour, fans and players alike have turned to a more positive outlook.

But with the first match kicking off in just over a week’s time, the British and Irish lads better hurry; the wallabies will be all over your pension, O’Driscoll, let alone your team when it comes to 1st June.

The Australians should - and will - point to the Welsh-dominated squad and remind them that Wales lost 3-0 Down Under very recently. This shouldn’t concern the Lions in the slightest.

Wales lost in three very tight games but the best of the Welsh, say 8-10 players, with the inclusion of the best of England, Ireland and Scotland, will be more than a match for the Aussies.

Expect three battles, and three wins for the slabs of red meat.

Lions To The Rescue The Australian Rugby Union is pinning its financial hopes on a bumper Lions tour this summer. Since hosting the World Cup in 2003 the ARU has been losing money with alarming regularity.

Last year, they lost $8.3 million, but that was an improvement of $2.3 million on the previous year. When asked where the extra money came from, the answer was simple, more matches at home and an increase sponsorship deal.

However, on the question of where that money is going, the answers are less clear.

The strength of the Australian dollar was blamed which they calculate cost them $7.3 million, but looking to put a positive spin on things their Chairman Michael Hawker claimed this was all down to their investment in the game across Australia.

This year, not only do the Wallabies have their usual assortment of fixtures but three huge Lions tests, and an assortment of warm-up games to boost the coffers. All of these games are expected to be sold-out as 20,000 Lions fans are expected to descend on Australia. So, more sponsorship, more test matches, and more Lions means the chairman is confident he can turn around the fiscal calamity and put ARU back in the red, thanks to the men in red.

“These increases, combined with the expectation that this year’s British andIrish Lions tour will deliver substantial financial gains to Australian rugby, provides the organisation an opportunity to better its financial position in 2013.”

By Jason Barr

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By Giles Woolley & Mark Briggs

YOUR GUIDE TO SYDNEY

Palace Hotel

The Palace Hotel Sydney is by far one of Sydney’s best city pubs with a great selection of draft beers on tap, cocktail promotions, a fantastic wine list - and to top it off, it’s home to award-winning chef Daniel Collins. The Palace Hotel Sydney is one of the best pubs to enjoy a drink with friends for any occaission.

If you fancy something more uplifting, then why not catch a live band in The Square, or watch the late night live sports such as English Premier League or Scottish Premier League without the usual crowd that can tend to frequent the other local 24-hour sports bars.

tea gardens hotel

One of the main attractions at Bondi Junction, the Tea Gardens Hotel was the first hotel in the area, dating back to 1854. Since then, its clientele has grown beyond Sydney, and is widely recognized as a prime spot for entertainment.

Hosting DJs and live acts every night is their number one priority to give partygoers one of the best nights out Sydney can offer.

What’s On :

Mondays – Joker Poker from 7pm Tuesdays – Songwriters’ competition with $500 prize and Trivia Tuesdays Wednesdays – Members’ Badge Draw from 7.30pm Wednesdays – ½ Rack of Ribs & Schooner of any James Squire Beer $17.90 Thursdays – R&B DJ Def Rock 11am-10pm Fridays – start the weekend with Jayson Mixx and The Hornstar Thursdays – Seafood & Meat Tray Raffle from 5pm Saturdays & Sundays – join DJ Demo for Sexy Sats and Sunday Sess @ the Fridays – Free Prawn Cutlets 5-6pm Tea

Specials :

Contact :

Contact:

730-742 George Street, Haymarket, Sydney 02 9212 2111 www.palacehotelsydney.com.au

2-4 Bronte Road, Bondi Junction, Sydney 02 9389 3288 www.teagardenshotel.com.au

Arguably Sydney’s most famous bar, it’s been partying for 12 years and still shows no signs of slowing down.

What’s On : Cargo Bar’s got The British & Irish Lions Tour 2013 sorted! For the duration of the tour, Cargo will have a huge harbourside screen showing all games live. Plus, be entered into the prize draw by simply purchasing a jug of Heineken beer, and you could win the best seats in the house for you and four friends!

specials : Monday – Wednesday - Cargo Bar serves their legendary $10 steaks.Available from 11.30am

Thursday – Join Cargo for some After Work Drinks with beer, bubbles and vodka, all for $5 each. Between 5-7pm

Contact : 52-60 The Promenade, Sydney 02 9262 1777 www.cargobar.com.au

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Paragon hotel A stylish two level hotel in the heart of Circular Quay, The Paragon has a traditional public bar on the ground floor, opening out onto a courtyard beer garden and park. The Top Bar, a superb live music venue, shows some of Sydney’s best party bands from Thursday to Sunday, followed by a DJ set to take you through the rest of your night. With Guinness, Bulmers and Jamesons starting from just $5, you’ll be sure to have a great time. Generous servings of modern Australian style bar food are available all day, from share platters to burgers, steaks and hearty meals.

Upcoming Events : Sat 1st June - Electric Anthems - 9pm - 12 am Sun 2nd June - Dan Callan Duo - 1-4pm With Jess Smith, Irish-Aussie singer/songwriter Dan Callan performs acoustic medleys with all your best loved classics and new favourites for a lazy Sunday .

Thu 6th June - Sax & the City - 6pm-11pm Sax & percussion beats, $10 cocktails & our Member’s Cash Badge Draw, plus the Vivid lights outside!

Fri 7th June - The Shuffle -7pm-10pm Friday nights are all good at the Paragon, and the Long Weekend beckons!

Sat 8th June - Electric Anthems - 9pm-12am Sun 9th June - Dan Callan Duo - 1-4pm

Whats on : Tuesday: Trivia night is back with cash and vouchers to be won.

Thursday: Member’s Badge Draw jackpots every week: check the Badge Draw

icon to the right for this week’s prize. Becoming a member couldn’t be easier: just sign up in a minute at the bar. Ask staff for details.

Friday: Live bands every Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun

specials : Monday – All Day $12 Burger Meal Deal Tuesday- All Day $12 Rump Steak & Chips and Trivia Night cash prize Wednesday – All Day $10 Chicken Parmigiana Thursday – Ribs $19, Cocktails $10 5-8pm Saturday: All-day $14 breakfast and late closing Sunday: All-day $12 Sunday roast with live music in the courtyard

Contact : Corner Loftus & Alfred Street, Circular Quay, Sydney 02 9241 3522 www.hotelparagon.com.au

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YOUR GUIDE TO SYDNEY

*Fixtures*

June 1 - Lions v Barbarians - Hong Kong (1930 - local time) June 5 - Lions v Western Force - Perth (1800- local time) June 8 - Lions v Queensland Reds – Brisbane (1930 - local time) June 12 - Lions v Combined New South Wales/ Queensland Country – Newcastle (1930 - local time) June 15 - Lions v New South Wales Waratahs – Sydney (1930 - local time) June 18 - Lions v ACT Brumbies – Canberra (1930 - local time) June 22 - Lions v Australia – Brisbane (2000 - local time) June 25 - Lions v Melbourne Rebels – Melbourne (1930 - local time) June 29 - Lions v Australia – Melbourne (2000 local time) July 6 - Lions v Australia – Sydney (2000 local time)

Whether looking for a cold beer in snug armchair or to soak up the lively atmosphere with traditional and contemporary music, P.J. O’Brien’s is the place to be for every Oyster eater, Guinness drinker or Irish lover.

To accompany all this, there is regular broadcasting of live sports, such as The Lions Tour from 5th June to 6th July, and they promise to “be showing as many games live with sound as we can.”

Whats on : Tuesday - Trivia Night Thursday - Thursday Night Live. Live Music on the PJ’s Stage Fridays – Friday Night Live. Live Irish Music on the PJ’s stage

SPECIALS: Beef and Guinness Pie, Sunday Roasts, Irish Pork Sausages and Mash From $17.50

Contact : 57 King Street, Sydney 02 9290 1811 Visit www.pjobriens.com.au

Sydney’s premier rugby pub, the Harlequin Inn is most rugby fan’s dream location to when not at the stadium. On the corner of Harris St and Union St, opposite Union Square, Harlequin Inn plays host to 19 beers on tap, our four giant projector screens, and a choice of two outside dining areas.

Whats on : Lions supporters will be invited to use the upstairs lounge bar usually frequented by the All Blacks Supporters Club giving them a exclusive and fantastic base to call home. There will be jumper giveaways including a chance to win a 2013 Harlequin Rugby Jumper each game.

Live music every Thursday night from 7.30 pm.

Super 15 Rugby - Enjoy a drink whilst watching the Rugby every Friday & Saturday night. With a bar dedicated exclusively to the rugby every Friday night with free snacks and Table service. You can also enjoy the fun & games with prizes to be won whilst you support your team.

SPECIALS : Great drink specials currently available across the bar: Tooheys New - $13.00 (1140ml jug) Mishka Vodka (all varieties) - $7.50 (275ml RTD bottle) Corona Extra - $7.50 (355ml bottle), $28.00 (4 pack bucket) Southern Comfort - $7.00 (30ml nip & mix)

Contact : 152 Harris St (Cnr Harris & Union Sts) Pyrmont, NSW 02 9660 8146 Visit www.harlequininn.com.au

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YOUR GUIDE TO MELBOURNE

Enjoy a couple of quiet ones in a cosy snug or get right in the mix with traditional and contemporary live music every night of the week. And in P.J.’s Sidebar, relax with some freshly shucked oysters and a nice glass of wine. You can also visit P.J. O’Brien’s in Sydney, Adelaide, and Cairns.

As Melbourne’s premier sports bar, Turf Bar has everything you need to enjoy a great night out. A traditional pub menu, an extensive list of beer and wine on offer, plasmas all over the venue, and pool tables. Put simply: an awesome place to watch sport or meet friends for a drink or meal.

Whats on :

Whats on :

It’s been 12 long years and, finally, the wait is over…are you ready? P.J.’s certainly are! Ready to welcome The British & Irish Lions Tour back to Australia, along with all its supporters. Watch the games live at P.J. O’Brien’s.

Watch all The Lions Tour games live at the Turf Bar! Open every day, come and get lost in the atmosphere - enjoy the games on plasma screens, drink some local and international beers, and wolf down wicked pub grub.

SPECIALS :

SPECIALS :

Monday – Thursday – At P.J.’s Oyster Hour, enjoy a dozen oysters for $13 or half a dozen for $8. From 3-6pm Wednesday – Indulge in a unique whiskey tasting experience in P.J.’s Sidebar, every Wednesday. From 6pm ‘til late Friday – Come down to P.J.’s and enjoy $7 pints of Guinness and a dozen freshly shucked oysters for only $13. Thank Guinness It’s Friday, indeed!

Between 5-7pm

Wednesday – Hit the Turf – It’s Bedlam! $6 pints, vodka and wine, $5 pizza, games, prizes and giveaways, a live party DJ – and that’s just for starts! Get yourself down to the Turf to find out what other crazy stuff they have in store.

Friday – Wind down the working week with Matilda’s Happiest Hour. From 6-8pm, they’ve got $5 pints, basics and wine, and from 9-11pm, it’s 2-for-1 on cocktails! There’s also a party DJ on decks ‘til late.

Contact :

Contact :

Southgate Arts & Leisure Precinct, Southbank, Victoria, Melbourne 03 9686 5011 Visit www.pjobriens.com.au

131 Queen Street, Melbourne 03 9670 1271 www.turfbar.com.au

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YOUR GUIDE TO BRISBANE Ones To Watch...

Here’s our pick of who will be making gallant efforts to defend the mighty Lions’ name this time around. Let the games begin!

Jonny Sexton Let’s start with the obvious. If the ten plays well, the team plays well. The side has strength all over the park, but the majority of the creative output will go through the hands of Leinsterman Jonny Sexton. He should get fantastic service from a pack that is expected to be dominant. The kicking duties could be shared or even taken on by Leigh Halfpenny.

Adam Jones He might look like one of the hairy bikers but Adam Jones is still a tour de force.

Anyone who watched Wales destroy England at the Millennium in March will have seen that he can blast any pack aside, especially with partner in crime Gethin Jenkins close by. How he deals with the pressure will be interesting.

He is expected to dominate in the scrum and it’s important he doesn’t believe any dumbing down of the Wallaby front 3 from the local partisan press.

Sam Warburton There was a lot of debate about who would captain the Lions but surely it was only going to one person. Gatland’s man in the 2011 World Cup was Sam Warburton, elevated to captaincy at the age of 22, and there was no reason to suppose he would have gone anywhere else in 2013. He led Wales with a lot of dignity and pride in 2011, even when wrongly sent off in the semi-final.

Gatland has said of him: “He is a young man with an old head”. The only stumbling block with this is that is he the best player in his position? The back row is the most keenly contested area of the Lions squad.

By Giles Woolley

Pig ‘N’ Whistle While there are three Pig ‘N’ Whistles in Brisbane, the Riverside joint is the premier venue for live sport. Enjoy a pint inside a traditional British pub right on the Brisbane River while watching your favourite sport. Whether you fancy English and Scottish Premier League, UEFA, World Cup or Local A-League games, Riverside has the satellite rights to them all. They also show all GAA live from Ireland and Six Nations Rugby, as well as coverage of local NRL and AFL games live. They won’t let you go hungry either, serving food of outstanding quality, including Black Angus beef from their own herd of cows on Bilambil Heights and classics like Sausages & Mash and Steak & Guinness Pie. As the official headquarters for the British and Irish Lions Tour, Riverside is THE place to be to watch the matches live in HD. There will also be special menus and unique beers to make your experience even better.

What’s On : Mondays – Live NRL

Tuesdays – Live music in the Beer Garden from 5pm

Wednesdays – Live music in the Beer Garden from 5.30pm

Thursdays – Express Trivia at 12.45pm and Live Music in the Beer Garden from 5.30pm Fridays – Live Music in the Beer Garden from 5pm followed by a DJ at 7pm Saturdays – Watch sports coverage on large flat-screen TVs Sundays – Live Music in the Beer Garden from 1.30pm

Contact : Riverside Centre, 123 Eagle Street, Brisbane (07) 3832 9099

www.pignwhistle.com.au

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Close to the Stadium : The Stadium Bar & Grill

Perfect for all weathers with an open/close rooftop and for predrinks before the big game.

25 Caxton Street, Queensland (07) 3368 1932 www.stadiumbar.com.au The Paddington Tavern

The Paddo, offers something for everyone, and is the perfect place for a meal or celebration before heading to the stadium.

186 Given Terrace, Paddington, Queensland (07) 3369 0044 www.thepaddo.au

grab a munch : Pig ‘n’ Whistle

A famous institution within Brisbane, the Pig ‘n’ Whistle is on hand to give you the best menu and selection of beers you could ask for.

Riverside Centre, 123 Eagle Street, Brisbane (07) 3832 9099 www.pignwhistle.com.au

Mick O’Malley’s

For a bit of Irish atmosphere Mick O’Malley’s is the perfect place to grab a bite to eat.

171-209 Queen Street, Basement Level, Wintergarden Centre, Brisbane (07) 3211 9881 www.mickomalleys.com.au

ones for the “bucket” list : Junk Bar

For the creative and urban, Junk Bar presents you with an uber cool lounge to sit back and relax while sipping a cocktails.

215 Waterworks Road, Ashgrove, Brisbane (07) 3186 2993 www.thejunkbar.com.au Laruche

Step inside Laruche and you enter a world away from Brisbane, its cocktail list and food menu are exceptional.

680 Ann Street, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane (07) 3666 0880 www.laruche.com.au

YOUR GUIDE TO PERTH

The Mustang Bar This bar is devoted to showing sport while serving a US diner-style menu, and housing over 50 varieties of bottled and draught beer. The Lions Tour will feature on nine screens as well as the Jumbo Big Screen, which makes The Mustang Bar a great place to support your team. It satisfies sports fans all year round with Fox Sports, ESPN, Fuel, Euro Sport and Setanta as available channels.

What’s On : Mondays – Rockabilly Dance lessons from 6pm and Triple Shots performing at 8pm Tuesdays – Have a Salsa Night at The Mustang with a free lesson at 7pm, followed by live percussionists and DJs

Wednesdays – Backpacker & Student Fest from 6pm, $5 BBQ Meal Deal with a chance to win $100, free pool competition from 8.30pm and live cover band from 9.30pm Thursdays – Local bands and musicians play the from 9.30pm

Friday – Live Swing/Jazz bands from 7pm, followed by The Cheeky Monkeys.

Saturday – Live Rockabilly Rock ‘n’ Roll bands from 7pm, followed by Rock/Pop group Millhouse Sundays – Country Rock ‘n’ Roll bands perform from 6pm

Contact : 46 Lace Street, Northbridge, Perth (08) 9328 2350

www.mustangbar.com.au

Close to the Stadium :

Bar One

Paddy Maguire’s

Bar One provides all day dining from your morning coffee and breakfast, through to antipasti and pasta at lunch and finishing with dishes to share for a more sociable evening meal.

250 St George’s Terrace, Plaza Level, Perth (08) 9481 8400 www.bar1.com.au

Visit Paddy Maguire’s before heading to Petersons Stadium to get the luck of the Irish.

328 Barker Road, Subiaco, Perth (08) 9381 8400

www.paddymaquires.com The Village Bar The Village Bar serves food, drink and fun in a refreshing, relaxed setting - a great place to pop into before or after the game if you don’t want to stray far from the stadium.

10-531 Hay Street, Subiaco, Perth (08) 9381 5099 www.thevillagebar.com.au

grab a munch :

ones for the “bucket” list : The Conservatory This rooftop contains a barbeque, so you can cook and eat surrounded by the city view.

356 Murray Street, Perth

(08) 9481 1960 www.theconservatory.net.au

Fibber McGee’s

Wolf Lane

This Irish Pub & Steakhouse takes pride in its locally reared beef from its very own Drumlane Organic Farm, as well as making classic Irish stews, breakfasts and soda bread.

711 Newcastle Street, Leederville (08) 9227 0800 www.fibbermcgees.com.au

Rear 321 Murray Street, Perth (08) 9322 4671 www.wolflane.com.au

Once you get to Wolf Lane, it’s hard to miss with the remarkable mural pasted on the front and continues to impress once inside with a twisted fairytale theme.

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SPORTS NEWS England No-Show Is Blow From Joe We’ve all been shocked by the number of highprofile retirements in English football this season.

It’s almost impossible to imagine the Premier League without stars like Jamie Carragher, Alex Ferguson and the legendary Steve Harper.

But amid the Ferguson fanfare, the Beckham bawling and the Michael Owen indifferentshrugging, there was a bit of news that went under the radar which could prove to be a hammer blow to England’s chances of qualifying for the World Cup. Joey Barton has announced his retirement from international football. Say it ain’t so Joe!

Lions Tame Our Home-Country Rivalries Every year a Lions tour comes around, our mouths salivate over the prospect of a team filled with players like Ireland’s Brian O’Driscoll, England’s Manu Tuilagi, Wales’s Jonathan Davies and Scotland’s… *scratches head, goes on Google*… and Scotland’s Dennis Law. And every year we watch with rapidly diminishing optimism as a side filled with Six Nations stars underperforms as badly as a British entry at Eurovision. But other than taking the piss out of the A-League, few things bring sports fans from the home countries together more than watching the Lions lose on tour.

This month’s Lions v Wallabies tour – or, to give it its unofficial name, the Wales (plus guests) v Wallabies tour – has been no different, with tickets for each of the three tests disappearing as quickly as, well, the Irish entry at Eurovision.

And there’s even, dare we say it, a glimmer of hope that Wales (plus guests) might actually sneak a result this year – not because of the talent of the squad of course (that’d be silly) but because the Wallabies have managed to spear-tackle themselves in the foot thanks to a series of brutal ‘derbies’ in the Australian Super Rugby Conference that has left half their side as battered as Danny Cipriani after a night in Melbourne.

In particular, a game at the end of May between the Waratahs v Brumbies left no fewer than five Wallabies nursing injuries - Tatafu Polota-Nau, Pat McCabe, Kane Douglas, Rob Horne and George Smith.

Meanwhile, Jonny Wilkinson has done a “reverse Rio” and made himself available for Lions selection after initially saying he was concentrating on his club and nothing else.

“I’ve been asked if I’ll be an injury replacement.

I’ve said ‘quite happily’,” said Wilkinson, seemingly unaware of the irony.

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“Decided to announce my international retirement,” he said on Twitter.

“I was honoured to represent my country for such a long, illustrious time. Decided to focus on being fit at club level. Hope everyone understands.”

Just for the record, Barton has one England cap, which came six years ago in a friendly against Spain.

And never afraid to tweet his own trumpet, Barton says he has no intention of heading back to QPR when his loan shift with Marseille ends, claiming he ‘deserves a crack’ at the Champions League.

“My standard is Premier League minimum,” he said. “I’ve proven that over 10 years. This year I’ve proven I deserve a crack at Champs League. I’m 30 years old. I’m not interested in money. I just want to test myself in the best club competition in the world against the best players. Can anyone blame me for that? Is that out of order on my part?”

No there’s nothing wrong with that in theory Joey, it’s just that in the past when you’ve ‘tested yourself against the best’, you’ve always come up short and then tried to headbutt your way to parity.

So unless you’re next announcement is “I’m retiring from being a cock” please shut up.

Brighton Embroiled In Poodunnit Mystery Not since Portsmouth’s team of closetedhomsexuals were relegated in 2010 has there been a gay club in the Premier League, so being an open-minded bunch here at BBM – cut us and we bleed rainbow – we were hoping Brighton would get promoted this year.

That was until we heard what the dirty brutes get up to behind closed doors – and we’re not talking about bum sex. For on the eve of their home game against Crystal Palace, someone – no one knows who – did a big shit in the Palace dressing room.

And we don’t mean in the toilet.

Brighton boss Gus Poyet wasn’t happy, and put his thoughts in an email. “To put it in clear English, someone had a ‘poo’ all outside the toilets, over and around the toilets,” he said. “I am angry that someone within this club could endanger our good reputation and stoop so low. Did they imagine that this would affect the Crystal Palace players – well possibly it – it may just have fired the Crystal Palace players up more.”

Poyet’s email caused a stink with his Brighton bosses, who have washed their hands of his attempt to flush out the culprit. But Poyet’s rage wasn’t restricted to some poor potty training, he was also peeved with the club’s decision to distribute 28,000 paper clappers to home fans.

“Would someone like to admit it was their idea to hand out stupid pieces of noise making paper – can I tell you it was an extremely silly idea and the result was an annoying noise,” he said. “I am not for one minute blaming the result of the game on this but it added only negative vibes to the proceedings along with the rubbish filled balloons that littered the pitch.”

Poyet has since been suspended by the club, and could well be managing another team by the time BBM goes to print. We would also like to point out that we didn’t use the phrase “the shit hits the fan” at all during this article – quite a feat for a production that prides itself on the lowness of its brow.

SPORTS NEWS Bloodthirsty Murray Prepares For War Andy Murray pulls out of the French Open with back trouble the same week as the push for Scottish independence is being debated. Sir Alex Ferguson retires. Coincidence?

We’re no conspiracy theorists here at BBM Towers – although we still maintain to police that it was someone with a grudge against BBM who planted our semen in Cheryl Cole’s knicker drawer – but we’re getting a distinct whiff of insurrection on the highland breeze this month. The evidence points to one conclusion – the Scottish are preparing to crown Sir Alex as the new king of Scotland and his first order will be to appoint Andy Murray as General of the Scottish army for an immediate invasion England. If we don’t act now, the Scottish will be running Newcastle quicker than you can say “och nay laddy!”

Will we heed the warning signs? Or will the usual motley rabble of tennis fans be rooting for the Scottish turncoat on Murray Mountain come Wimbledon at the end of this month. If he’s “fit” of course.

“Until Madrid, it (his back) had been OK but it’s not been perfect for a long period,” Murray lied after pulling out of the French Open. “You always go into matches with little niggles and such, but it’s frustrating when for a long period you’re hurting. It’s been an issue for a while now and I want to make sure it goes away. It’s not enjoyable when you’re playing in pain.”

Maybe we’re being paranoid, or maybe – just maybe – Murray will pull out all the stops to reach the Wimbledon final so that when he’s presented with his trophy he can decapitate Prince William and his missus with his tennis racket before declaring war on England and escaping in a helicopter flown by the Krankies. Don’t say we “did nay warn ye”.

The Generation Game

In Arsene We Rust

With so many “golden era” England footballers retiring last month, what better way to perk ourselves up than by taking a peek at the rising stars set to line-up at this month’s European Under-21 Championship in Israel.

As regular readers of BBM will know, we’re not afraid of taking cheap shots at people. In fact we’ve built a successful magazine out of it. And when we say ‘successful’ we mean we still haven’t been sued for defamation – something which never fails to amaze us.

Remember, this is a competition that England got to the final in four years ago, after topping a group that contained Germany and Spain – which means, logically, England are set to dominate international football for the next four years. And just two years ago we had an under-21side containing Chris Smalling, Phil Jones, Kyle Walker, Daniel Sturridge and Danny Welbeck. OK they failed to get past the group stage, but they’ve all gone on to establish themselves at top Premier League clubs – which can only mean this is the best crop of youngsters we’ve had in years, or that the standard of the Premier League has dropped. But if that was the case we’d see evidence for it like, say, a woeful performance by English clubs in the Champions League.

But with Chelsea conquering some of the biggest clubs on the continent Nordsjælland, Rubin Kazan, Sparta Prague – on the way to Europa League glory, that’s clearly not the case.

So who are the next group of stars set to be hyped-up as future World Cup winners only to be plying their trade in the A-League 10 years later (i.e. the Francis Jeffers path)? Well they’re hardly a well-known bunch – largely because Roy Hodgson told Stuart Pearce (is he really still in charge?) to go fuck himself when he asked for Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and Phil Jones. There’s Liverpool failure Jordan Henderson, Man Utd wannabe Wilfried Zaha, Spurs nearly-man Steven Caulker, Tom ‘son of a cock’ Ince and Andros Townsend – who we’ve only included because he sounds like Andy Townsend.

“It’s a four-step process,” said Pearce. “You have to get out of your group in qualification, you have to win the play-off, get out of the group in the finals, then win the tournament.”

With that kind of tactical insight, England surely cannot fail.

So we were amused to learn that in the wake of Alex Ferguson’s departure from Manchester United, and David Moyes’s subsequent appointment, not only is Arsene Wenger now the longest-serving current manager at one club – 16 years and counting – but every other club in all four leagues has changed manager since Arsenal last won any silverware.

That’s right, since the 2005 FA Cup final every club in the football league has moved on except Arsenal. Some Gunners fans claim this is untrue – with the club having won the Emirates Cup in 2007, 2008 and 2010. This, of course, only makes it funnier. Keep clinging on Gunners fans!

It also means, incredibly, that the next longest-serving manager in the Premier League is Alan Pardew at Newcastle, who’s only been there less than three years. Paul Tisdale is just behind Wenger in terms of all 92 league clubs, having been at Exeter for almost seven years.

“It is important to reiterate that for everyone at the club, qualification for the Champions League is not our ultimate ambition,” said Ivan Gazidis, Arsenal chief executive. “Our majority owner Stan Kroenke has made it clear that while it’s an achievement to make the Champions League our ultimate objective is to win the major trophies.”

Cue another pre-season of Arsenal being linked with numerous big-name signings only to snap up some unknown French under-21 striker called Yaya Sanogo with about two weeks to go before the season starts.

By Richard Gadsby

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WHAT’S TRENDING

Pop Art Prints & Comic Clothes This month, we’re digging the more artistic spectrum of fashion and stepping into creative comic book style designs and silly sketches on our favourable fabrics. So don’t be scared to pick out clothes with bold colours and patterns, wear accentuated eye make-up, or publicly declare your love for Batman. Here’s some of our favourite Pop-Art style picks this month.

FOR HIM...

1.

1. Banana jumper, $47, available from www.asos.com 2. Skinny acid wash chinos, $39, available from www.asos.com 3. Pattern shorts, $50, available from www.topman.com 4. White cartoon print shirt, $47, available from www.topman.com 5. Paul’s Boutique cartoon print watch, $54 available from www.asos.com 6. Ben Blue sunglasses, $25, available from www.jeeperspeepers.com 7. Pac Man Havaianas flip-flops, $37, available from www.havaianas.com 8. White New York City high roll t-shirt, $28,available from www.topman.com 9. Yellow smiley face tie, $44.90, available from www.zazzle.com 10. Robot iPhone case, $38, available from www.redbubble.com 11. Superman Nikes Dunk Low Varsity Red, $76.60, avaiable from www.comicnikes.com

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4.

5.

7.

10.

8.

6.

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11.

9.

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FOR HER...

4.

1.

1. Graphic print trousers, $76, available from www.lookagain.co.uk 2. Fluoro Aztec backpack, $38, available from www.asos.com 3. Red or dead sunglasses, $153, available from www.specsavers.com 4. Batman Wham sweat, $45, available from www.topshop.com 5. Neon feline wedge sneaker, $89, available from www.nastygal.com 6. Fluoro Satchel, $178, available from www.cambridgesatchel.com 7. Eyeliner appliquĂŠs, $8, available from www.glamrepublicbeauty.com 8. Innocent pink and naughty red lipsticks $5, available from www.beautyukcosmetics.com 9. Soho eye shadow palette, $6, available from www.beautyukcosmetics.com 10. Luminous lashes, $38, available from www.rougebunnyrouge.com 11. Gold liquid eyeliner, $12, available from www.frontcovercosmetics.com

3.

7.

11.

9.

8.

10.

5.

6.

2.

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INTERVIEWS

MS MR

Shrouded in mystery since they formed, Ms Mr are a self-confessed Pop duo that let the music speak for itself. From synthesisers and heavy effects to Lizzy’s hypnotic vocals, they have created a sound all of their own and a dedicated fan base to match. They have grown from obscurity, to the next best thing through the use of their Tumblr, where they revealed their quirky sound and eclectic image. With a very busy year ahead touring America, Australia and the UK, we’re finally able to put a face to the name. Here, Ms Mr’s passion for music spills out, along with their infectious and charming personalities, to give us hope that pop music may, once again, be cool.

Lizzy – I was born and raised in London so this has had a huge influence on me. My mum listened to classical singer/songwriters like The Beatles, whereas my dad listened to Motown. My brother also introduced me to alternative and rock bands, but I’m very much an R&B girl.

How do you feel about being compared to artists such as Lana Del Rey and Florence and the Machine?

We’re very curious about who we are compared to, but we didn’t reference any artists in the album. We wanted to create an environment, something new.

We wouldn’t initially have compared ourselves to them, so it’s interesting what group people have put us in.

Hi Lizzy, Hi Max. How are you both?

We’re doing well, just tired. It’s 10.30am and we’re still waking up!

What have you been up to this week?

We’ve been travelling like mad; all over Germany, Hamburg, Paris, and now we’re in London.

Wow, no wonder you’re tired! If you can, take us right back to the beginning and tell me how did Ms Mr form?

We went to college together but didn’t actually know each other. It wasn’t until Max was at dance school and I was running Neon Gold Records that we exchanged emails. We met up that December and started writing together, fell into a music relationship and went from there.

You’ve shrouded yourselves in anonymity and it took a long time before we could put a face to the name, why do you want to keep an element of mystery?

As pop musicians we’re proud to be making pop, but it’s important to us that we let the music speak for itself. Pop music can often be distorted by personality and celebrity and that’s not what we’re doing this for. We also thought it would buy ourselves a bit more time to buy a musical identity.

Your music’s been available to your fans free via Tumblr, has this helped you get recognition?

I think so. Being recognised to release music through Tumblr and then test the more conventional formats helps us to create and connect with our fan base. It fulfils our love of collage and social media.

You also can’t expect people to pay before you’ve

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made it, you have to prove yourself first; that’s the first step.

Do you think free music may cripple the industry?

We’ll always look to share music, but also use methods such as iTunes or vinyl release. The ways of getting your music out there aren’t as separate as they once were. You need a balance and you have to do things appropriately. After people have heard your music, you build up trust and then you can follow up with an album. If people buy it, then great.

What inspires your very vibrant image?

Music and visual; we love collage. We give information and want to overwhelm the senses, without imposing a narrative. We want to allow the audience to make their own narrative and conclusion.

Reviewers have called your sound loud, colourful and industrial-sounding, but how would you describe it?

We want to have a strong identity, be fun and exciting. It’s interesting how people interpret it, but we very much want to leave the door open. We are a Pop band and proud to call ourselves that, but it tends to mean everything and nothing at the same time. There’s such a wide range of Pop about, and we think the album shows that dynamism.

What did you both listen to growing up?

Max – I grew up on Folk Rock, Simon and Garfunkel, Bruce Springsteen. My parents ran a festival so there was a large influence of that. But by college I was into the Latin pop scene.

Jay Z posted your music on his website back in 2012, have you had any contact with the man himself?

(Laughs) Unfortunately not, but we are going to see Beyoncé while she’s playing here in London and he’s bound to be there!

Would you collaborate with him if the chance occurred?

Definitely. I don’t think that’s something you pass up! But then we’d have to get Beyoncé as well. And Justin (Timberlake)!

You’re MTV’s Artist to Watch, do you feel like you’ve broken into the industry?

It was awesome. There’s a very public element and they care really naturally about music. They kind of stumbled upon us. They came to film Jessie Ware while we were touring with her, but they got interested in us and loved the performance. It’s so awesome; it’s the right step for that attention. And now we have a live video, which is great as we’ve never had that before.

How was touring with Bastille and Jessie Ware?

Both tours were amazing. Opening for Jessie and Bastille and showing our music to their audiences was such an opportunity. We all have different types of music and so we were able to deliver to different audiences. We grew really strong friendships and became part of community.

You recently played at the famous Laneways Festival, how did the Aussies treat you?

Very kindly. We’ve got great support from Australia.

We went with high expectations, but the audience greatly exceeded that. To have 5000, 7000 people actually singing along to every word, was our first experience of that. Australia now has a firm place in our hearts.

By Charlotte Mellor

Ben Ottewell

That was what I was gonna ask next, actually, if you thought being a dad had any influence on your music?

Oh, yeah! I’m sure it does, in some way. The last solo record, ‘Shapes and Shadows’, was definitely spawned by the lullaby – singing to the boys, trying to get them off to sleep. Hopefully the album hasn’t put too many people to sleep…

Do your family get to come on the road with you?

No, they don’t; it’s just too expensive.

Plus, it’d be hard work for my wife, I don’t think she’d enjoy it too much!

Probably best known as Gomez’s most distinctive vocalist, the 2011 release of critically-acclaimed debut album ‘Shapes and Shadows’ saw Ben Ottewell step out as a solo star in his own right. The record was markedly more moody and melancholic than any Gomez offering, and highlighted his songwriting skills and the true range of his gravelly tones to perfection. We caught up with the Mercury Prize winner ahead of his upcoming national tour across Australia.

How do you strike the balance between playing what fans will want to hear with your own preferences, what you’d like to play?

There’s certain things that I’ll play that I know will go down well. But, yeah, it’s a tough one! And with Gomez, there’s also balancing what everyone else in the band wants to play. There’ll be a core of the set that we have to play for the fans and then we just add a few in, some tunes we’ve not played for a while. For the last few Gomez tours, we got online and asked people to choose their top 10 songs and, whichever were the favourites of those, we’d play – that was fun. Playing solo is kind of the same thing, just making sure I’m not playing the same things as last time or doing exactly the same set.

You’re over in Australia for an extensive solo tour, starting this month. Looking forward to being back in Oz? Oh, yeah, definitely! I always have a really good time in Australia. It must be the fifteenth time or something I’ve been down there, so it’s real familiar. It’s just a very easy place to be.

Where’s your favourite place to go in Australia?

Well, I was gonna say Sydney because that’s where I’ve got the most friends, but I really like Melbourne. We spent Hi, Ben, how are you? Where in the world are you right now? a bit of time in Margaret River, as well, I’m fine, I’m at home in Brighton, in the UK. on a Gomez tour – that was great. We just hired a big house by the beach and What first sparked your interest in music would you say?

I guess hearing it! And probably the records of my mum and dad, listening drunk wine for like three days, which was to old Beatles and Rolling Stones’ records. Also, having an older brother fabulous. and sister who listened to all the 80s new rave stuff kinda made me go Do you have a particular favourite straight to the 60s stuff! venue?

It’d have to be the Metro Theatre in Who or what would you say has been your biggest influence?

I don’t really know; it’s hard to understand what directly influences you. Sydney because Gomez has had great Musically, probably Led Zeppelin, weirdly enough, just because they were shows there. And we played Palace the first band I really fell in love with. I say Led Zeppelin, however, the Theatre in Melbourne, which was really music I make never really sounded like Zeppelin, so whether that is an good. It’s the closest thing to Shepherd’s influence or not is…strange. Things influence you in very indirect ways; Bush Empire that I’ve played in Australia. it’s very hard to pin down. Sometimes, I’ll be writing a song, thinking it’s about one thing, and then I’ll be relearning it again for a gig a few years later and be like ‘oh, that’s what that was about!’ And, of course, there’s my kids, my wife, where I live, people I meet… There’s all sorts of things that influence me and it’s never really clear until they come out in a song.

Would you say there’s a difference between UK and Oz crowds?

Yeah, I think there is. Funnily enough, the Australian crowd is kind of like the Irish

crowd, particularly with the band - they like to drink a lot! It’s a bit different when I’m down there solo, it’s a lot calmer than a Gomez show.

Do you still see the guys from Gomez when you’re not working on anything?

Yeah, totally! Tom [Gray] and Blackie [Paul Blackburn] live in Brighton as well, so I see them quite regularly. We usually go to the pub. And I just did a solo tour of the States, so saw Ian [Ball] and Ol [Olly Peacock] when I was out there.

If you could put together a super group, dead or alive, who would be in it?

Wow, that’s an interesting one. I’m gonna put Jimmy Page and John Bonham in there, definitely! Let’s have a double bass player! Danny Thompson on bass, let’s get Raymond Manzarek on keys, Nina Simone singing, and my mate John Smith on acoustic guitar. Oh, and we’ll have an orchestra as well! The London Philharmonic Orchestra and Charlie Mingus’ horn section. God, that band is guaranteed to sound terrible!

Is there anyone you haven’t worked with yet that you’d love to?

Christ, loads of people! I would like to work with Tom Waits, but that’s never gonna happen! That’d be great, though.

Are there any new artists that you’d recommend keeping an eye on?

A guy called John Smith, who just released a record called ‘Great Lakes’, he’s really good. And this UK band Diagrams that I also really like.

Your cover of Rihanna’s ‘Only Girl (in the World)’ is brilliant, can we just say, We didn’t know it was possible for such a song to be given depth!

Well, no…it’s a good tune, though! I just thought I’d do something really out of the ordinary. Actually, if you break it down - to the way it’s arranged - it’s a really good song. I’m quite happy I did that.

Do you always do unexpected covers or was that a one-off?

That was a one-off, but I might start doing more. It’s pretty good fun! Maybe I’ll put that one in the set, actually.

And can we expect a new album from you in the near future?

Yeah, I’m about two thirds of the way through writing one! It’s just gonna be a solo one whilst the band are having a bit of a break for a couple of years. I’m looking to record it maybe later in the year… But, yeah, it’s well on the way.

For full tour info, visit: lovepolice.com.au/tours

By Esther Anyakwo

www.bbmlive.com 43

INTERVIEWS

John Digweed

A legend within the Electronic scene, John Digweed started DJing at the tender age of 15. From there, Digweed’s career has seen him take his unquestionable talent to the biggest and best clubs, festivals and events all over the world, and more recently he has taken up a residency at new night ‘Insane’ at Pacha, Ibiza. Unlike a lot of DJs coming in and out of vogue, John Digweed has remained on top of his game for the past decade, as well as being one half of the production duo Bedrock. We caught up with John ahead of his gig which will be at Sydney’s premier Dance venue, Chinese Laundry, Sydney on 8th June 2013.

Hi John, How are you?

Good, thanks, had a great weekend with the Pacha pre-party in Ibiza and a Pacha festival in Holland.

It took a while for us to get our heads around the changeover period but we are still here and going strong.

Sounds great. Where in the world are you now?

Back home, I have a few days off now before everything goes crazy for the whole of June.

Do you think new artists now have it easier coming into the industry today? With all the different online platforms available to promote their work?

I think the internet can really help a new artist explode over night without having to trudge around small clubs building your name over a long period of time. All the social media platforms can really help push people’s careers, in the same token the internet can also highlight when an artist plays a bad set so it can work both ways for you.

You recently released John Digweed Live in Slovenia, what’s the reaction been like to it?

Feedback to the album has been great, It’s the third in the series, and I am really happy with the way the series is progressing with different moods for each album, with the latest record in Slovenia focusing on one of my more full on peak-time style sets.

What’s the crowd like in Slovenia? How do they compare to the rest of your global fans?

Really good. It is the second time I have played there and they really know their music. The weather had been really bad all day with a storm warning, so people had to make a real effort to get to the party, so when they got there, they really went for it.

Sounds so cool! What sparked your interest in House music? You grew up in Hastings, where did you get your musical influence from?

I was lucky that I had friends that were local DJs who constantly searched out for the latest imports and releases. This really stuck in my mind, that to stand out you needed to be playing the best tracks way before anyone else had them, which meant researching all the Dance magazines and hanging out in all the record shops to make sure you had all the latest tracks.

Tell us about ‘Bedrock’, what made you start your own label?

I wanted to have more control about how my music was released, and to also give me a chance to showcase new talent on the label.

You’ve had your label ‘Bedrock’ for 14 years now. How do you think the industry has changed since you were first starting out? How have you adapted to change?

Well it was all vinyl when we started and now it’s all digital, with only a few limited edition vinyl releases.

44 www.bbmlive.com

You recently became a Friday resident DJ at Insane, Pacha, Ibiza, how do you juggle your residency with the shows you do all over the globe?

I have committed to 12 parties at Pacha this summer so it was important to schedule my other gigs around the residency so it all made sense. I have a few weekends off that allow me to do some massive festivals in the States. I did a pre-party last Friday for all the locals and workers which was amazing, so I am very excited about the parties ahead.

Who would you say are the best artists you’ve collaborated with during your career?

Remixing New Order and Underworld are definite highlights during my career.

What festivals would you recommend for 2013?

EDC in Vegas, Electric Zoo in NYC, SW4 London, Global Gathering UK, Tomorrowland in Belgium, Sziget Festival in Hungary, Sunwaves Romania.

That’s quite a list! We’ll do our best! You recently said Ultra Music Festival was one of the most impressive festivals you have been to in terms of scale and production. How does it compare to other festivals you’ve done?

The scale of the events in the States are getting bigger and bigger, with more and more production being invested to create events that blow your mind.

For me, it’s still about the crowd, as they are the ones that make the party. All the parties I have

mentioned above are all great events with proper, up-for-it clubbers.

What’s your favourite event to play at, one that cannot compare to anywhere else?

That’s a hard one to answer as I am very lucky to play amazing parties week in week out. I would say that Argentina is always an amazing place to play with the maddest crowds you will ever play before.

You’ve got fans all over the globe and you always seem to be playing in a different continent every week. How do you juggle everything?

This is what I do so the fact that some weeks, I fly further for a gig, makes no difference to me as I am so used to it now. Plus I am living my dream.

You’re heading to Australia in June, what do you think about the Aussie crowds?

I have been coming to Australia for many years and I always get shown a lot of love from the dance floor.

It’s always a memorable experience for me to play Down Under.

Where’s your favourite place to go to in Australia?

The Great Barrier Reef is such an amazing place to visit and so beautiful, it just takes your breath away.

I don’t have time on this trip for a visit, which is a shame.

You were the first British DJ to get a residency in what was the world’s most well-known club in NYC, Twilo. That’s pretty impressive. So, tell us what’s been a career highlight for you?

Twilo was a massive highlight and so was winning the Number 1 DJ award, but to be honest, the highlight for me is being able to play at some of the best parties around the world, week after week, as this is what I love the most.

What can we expect from you for the rest of 2013?

Look out for some interesting projects that I have been working on with Nick Muir. More details on this will be released very soon.

By Lucie Potter

Jody Wisternoff

INTERVIEWS

Jody Wisternoff has been in the music business for 25 years, he’s toured with some of the best acts in House, played Top of the Pops and travelled around the world, but his favourite place to come back to is still his hometown of Bristol. He’s been busy recently coproducing Anjunadeep’s latest compilation album and improving his personal recording studio, but we can tell Jody Wisternoff ’s still got his feet firmly on the ground, whether in Bristol or Bangalore. And don’t forget Jody Wisternoff will be touching down at Chinese Laundry, Sydney on 29th June 2013, so you can see the man in action.

Hi Jody, how have you been?

Very well thanks. Working hard, playing hard. You know how it goes !

Where in the world are you?

Home in Bristol. I’m currently in the process of renovating the studio, very exciting times.

You’re playing Perth and Sydney at the end of June, how are you preparing for it?

Just insuring I’ve got some valium from the good doctor to make the flight more enjoyable! [Laughs] But seriously, the same as for all gigs really, preparation preparation preparation. Although it all changes on the night anyway.

We caught up with you last time before you played Chinese Laundry last year, how did it compare to other venues and crowds? And what are you mostly looking forward to this time around?

The cave is always an amazing experience for a DJ, as you are so directly involved with the crowd. The vibe in that place can be ridiculous; Aussies really know how to party!! It’s also really nice to hang out with Paul, Tony and all the crew.

How do you find the House scene in Australia?

I’d like to think it’s really healthy at the moment, as the current style of house shares quite a lot of common ground with dub-step. A lot of great producers and DJs have come from down under too and this really helps the local scene. However, I have heard that the festival season isn’t great for some of the underground clubs.

Your tour destinations include India, USA, Romania, UK and Russia, what’s so special about touring for you and do the crowds differ from country to country?

I think it gives you a broader outlook and allows you to play a more universal sound being a touring DJ, as opposed to concentrating on your own territory where only a certain style might work. The crowds in Eastern Europe and Russia are some of the most vibrant in the world and India is really emerging right now too.

How do you spend your time between gigs?

I am a family man with two kids so trying to juggle this with touring and studio work is very full on! I just try to maintain a healthy balance between the madness of life on the road with the normality and comfort of domestic bliss…

That last time we spoke to you, you were keen on staying close with your home city of Bristol (in fact you were there at the time), is that still the case?

Absolutely. It’s one of the nicest cities in the UK and has a really healthy music scene right now too, with labels like Hypercolour and futureboogie being based here. The only problem is that the airport is two hours away…

You’ve mixed the latest compilation album from Anjunadeep, who you’re signed with. How was the process and working with manager James Grant?

It’s been a long, enjoyable and extremely involved process, as the comp is basically a showcase for upcoming stuff on the label. It’s not like we are signing any previously released stuff , as is the way with most compilations. We found some really cool new artists so we can’t wait to get it out there! It’s great working with James, Allan and all the guys at the label, a lovely bunch of peeps.

with the addictive nature of the creative buzz, are probably the reasons I am still in the game!

House music’s grown in the UK and Europe predominantly with festivals, gigs and artists focusing on the sound, how have you kept yourself relevant? Are there any new acts you like?

For the house sound I don’t think festivals are really a factor, it’s more the underground clubs that cultivate this scene. As for staying relevant, listening to new music everyday and Djing at weekends pretty much takes care of that. So many hot new acts out there right now, the French Express crew are really doing it at the moment for me like Jonas Rathsman, Persius and Chris Malinchak. Dusky are also really on the ball right now.

With all the sub-genres that have grown, can you still recognize a good House track?

Great music like cream rises to the top whatever the genre. Listening to stuff from a producer’s point of view, it’s usually clear when a track has that extra something that makes it stand out from the crowd. Personally, I still tend to prefer tracks that are heavy on the emotional content, although not at the expense of a good groove.

What’s your favourite memory of your time producing together?

Doing Top of the Pops was a crazy experience, every kid who grew up in the 80s’ dream come true!!

You must have some pretty amazing stories, what’s the most shocking thing to happen to you on tour? Any crazy fans? Any difficult people you’ve had to work with?

A near plane crash in Australia during the mid 2000’s was pretty shocking!! A flight between Sydney and Melbourne with Qantas, the left engine had a catastrophic failure and we had to get down sharpish! As for crazy fans - nothing that requires intervention from the law, luckily. Difficult people would probably be promoters on a daily basis [Laughs].

You came into the spotlight back in the 90s, did you think you’d still be making music and DJing to thousands of people after all this time?

Didn’t really think about it much at the time to be honest. The fear of getting a real job, combined

By Charlotte Mellor

How is your relationship with Way Out West costar Nick Warren? Have you bumped into each other recently?

Yeah sure, we’re currently working on new material and I’ts sounding very exciting! Watch this space…

You definitely know how to make a good track, whose voice would you most like to work with?

Thanks. I would love to work with Jamie Woon, his voice hits the spot.

www.bbmlive.com 45

MUSIC NEWS

Top 10 Podcasts, Sets, and radio 1. Live Love & Trance

Music mix featuring the hottest Trance tracks of the moment. Mixed by Love Bug Music, a Californian EDM DJ since 1993 whose mantra is to live, love and dance!

Available on iTunes www.lovebugmusic.com

2. Ben Noble

UK DJ, producer and remixer Ben Noble posts regular House music podcasts and crazy mixes, all of which are free! Tune in and turn up for the best in Disco and Progressive House. soundcloud.com/bennoble

3. Jaytech Music

Australian producer and DJ James Cayzer aka Jaytech regularly showcases the best in modern progressive EDM. The warm-up DJ of choice for stadiumfillers Above & Beyond, you can trust him to select the new sounds that we’ll all be grooving to. www.jaytechmusic.com

4. Manifest

Drum & Bass veteran Manifest has recorded for labels TOV Music, Renegade Hardware and Blackmarket Records, to name but a few. Gracing various club nights across the UK and Europe with his epic DJ skills, his podcasts are not to be missed! soundcloud.com/manifest

5. The Chamber Podcast

If it’s irresistible House music and propulsive, progressive production you’re after, Revolvr has it locked and loaded. As well as some truly incredible remixes, subscribe to The Chamber Podcast to hear the biggest tunes all in one place.

Available on iTunes soundcloud.com/revolvr

6. Soundae’s Unlimited Music

Soundae promises to bring the best electronic music from around the world, and man, do they deliver! Subscribe for free and make the best Dance music a part of your life!

Available on iTunes www.soundae-music.com

7. DJ Iron

Tune in to be served up classic recipes of terrific Hip-Hop cuts, beats and mixes, courtesy of Belgium-based DJ Iron. soundcloud.com/deejay-iron

8. Housology

Housology, hosted by Italian DJ and radio presenter Claudio Di Leo, plays only the freshest in Deep House, Tech House and Soulful House. www.mixcloud.com/housology

9. Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown

Pappy’s Flatshare Slamdown is an equal parts hilarious and anarchic show set in award-winning sketch team Pappy’s fictitious flat, with different comedian houseguests popping round each episode.

Available on iTunes www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/flatshare_slamdown

10. Do The Right Thing

Live audience comedy panel show Do The Right Thing is hosted by Danielle Ward, with team captains Michael Legge and Margaret Cabourn-Smith. Guests join them each week to help work out what the right thing to do is in any given situation.

Available on iTunes www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/dotherightthing

46 www.bbmlive.com

Happy 40th Birthday

Pacha!

In 1973 throngs of hippies still invaded the streets, Sydney Opera House opened its doors for the first time, though all the glitters is not clearly not gold, singer Gary Glitter was Number One, and tea bags became popular. But whilst all this mundanity persisted, nestled deep within the sunny Balaeric island paradise of Ibiza, Pacha was being born, stimulating the beginning of an unbreakable and exciting Dance music culture. Fast forward to 2013 and Pacha is celebrating its 40th anniversary as the ultimate destination for Dance lovers across the globe.

Pacha founders, Ricardo and Piti Urgell’s passion for the scene sparked the beginning of a worldwide brand, recognised by all party heads across the globe. As the club has aged, so have its founders, and it hasn’t always been plain sailing. The Urgell brothers appear to have fallen out of love with the music scene that inspired their gigantic enterprise, stating the music is, “for idiots” in a recent interview with The New York Times. That hasn’t stopped the rest of the Pacha party enthusiasts attending the club though, with this summer set to outshine the rest and a whole host of new parties taking place throughout the week to celebrate this iconic birthday.

Mondays will see a brand new event take place within the sweat-drenched walls of Pacha, known as EPICA, featuring the best in high-energy Electro House. The well-loved Flower Power event, also celebrating its 40th birthday this year, incredibly continues to feature 65-year-old founder Piti Urgell as a resident DJ, playing tunes that reflect the bygone hippy era. Fuck Me I’m Famous also makes a welcome appearance on Thursday nights with globally recognised producer David Guetta and his wife Kathy performing on every scheduled occasion.

In the time that Pacha has been open, other clubs have risen from the ground in an attempt to compete with the growing love of Electronic music and Dance music culture. Following the example from the famous Miami scene, Ushuaia has emerged, just a short bus ride away from Pacha’s location. With its openair entertainment, complete with two pools and poolside bars, Ushuaia exudes a contemporary glamour, that shimmers effortlessly in the summer sun.

More excitingly is the announcement of a brand new club, Bomba, founded by ex-Pacha employee, Danny Whittle, whose exit from Pacha was less than friendly. Whittle’s modern approach to Pacha saw the brand expand, with the introduction of a Pacha record label, magazine and an array of T-shirts and perfumes brandished with those bouncing red cherries. Opening in summer 2013, Bomba’s custom made soundsystem, stylised venue and impressive line-up will undoubtedly draw eager party-goers to its doors.

Nonetheless, four decades on Pacha still dominates the Spanish island and has inevitably become synonymous with extravagant parties, pristine glamour and of course, those iconic juicy cherries. Happy Birthday Pacha, here’s to another forty years!

By Esther Anyakwo & Bryony Curtis

Single Reviews Urban

Pop/Rock

Chance The Rapper – Chain Smoker

MS MR – Hurricane (CHVRCHES Remix)

Solange – Looks Good With Trouble ft. Kendrick Lamar

Glitches – Only Time Will Tell

You should never judge a book by its cover. Well the same theory can be applied to music. With an accompanying artwork that screams psychedelic, sea-punk wet dream, you’d be forgiven for not jumping at the chance to hit the play button. But give it a whirl. Chance The Rapper’s funky, Pop-infused rhymes are really rather good.

Not to be outdone by her older sister, Solange is making her own waves on the scene. Featuring the voice of one of last year’s most sought-after rappers, Kendrick Lamar, ‘Looks Good With Trouble’ is a slow-paced R&B track that is filled with soulful melodies and lyrical chic. Her gentle vocals float effortlessly up and down this track, with harmonies blended in to create a slow and sumptuous track.

Rockie Fresh – Nothin’ Wrong With That

The club sound of Rockie Fresh is thanks to the backing track of Carousel’s single ‘Games’ and his auto-tuned, half-arsed way of rapping seems a little dull compared to some of the more affluent HipHop stars on the scene. But stick this track on at a summer party and I guarantee everyone will soon start shaking what their Momma gave them.

Shapeshifter - Delta Drum & Bass isn’t necessarily what you’d associate with the grassy plains of New Zealand. But Shapeshifter are doing all they can to prove there is more to New Zealand than just luscious rolling hills and Lord Of The Rings with their infectious new release ‘Delta’.

Shapeshifter truly have been living up to their name, re-inventing their sound with every record, whilst resourcing all their identifying attributes.

Their fifth album ‘Delta’ has emerged packed full of exhilarating tunes to suit any avid Drum & Bass lover. Complete with steady build-ups and choruses and breakdowns that quite literally explode through the speakers, ‘Delta’ creates such a buzz it’s hard not to lose control when listening.

On first listen, you might think that this track is a cover. Because Scottish three-piece CHVRCHES have managed to skillfully apply their distinctive Electro-Pop sound to this already brilliant track, and have transformed it into one of the freshest, ‘Indie Club Night’ friendly tracks around. It will fit perfectly between The 1975 and Alt-J. It’s always around this time of year that a band like Glitches appears on the Indie scene. You’ll soon see their name on all of the festival posters, they’ll have a song on a TV advert in no time, and you’ll be bragging about how you heard them before all of your friends.

Dizzee Rascal – Goin’ Crazy ft. Robbie Williams You know when we all thought Robbie Williams had that midlife crisis? You know, when he was writing all of his own songs and they sounded terrible? Well we were wrong. He is having it now, and this is his way of showing us. Even Dizzee’s rapping feels commercially influenced, and lacking in finesse compared to his older, more original material. This will probably be the song that your idiot Uncle requests at a family member’s wedding. It’s horrible.

Please turn it off.

Electronic

Katy B – What Love Is Made Of

Are you heading over to Ibiza this summer? If so, you are probably gonna be hearing a lot more of this track. ‘What Love Is Made Of’ is a radio friendly, Pop-infused Dance track that will certainly get the most avid of clubbers in the mood for some sun, sea and sex at this year’s biggest parties.

Daft Punk – Lose Yourself To Dance ft.

Pharrell Williams THEY’RE BACK! Only this time they’ve brought with them the ever-welcome vocal stylings of Mr. Pharrell Williams.

And further more they are still managing to make glitter and robots look cool as fuck!

Marc Houle & Miss Kitten – Where Is Kitten?

On the brink of releasing his collaborative EP with Miss Kitten, the prolific Marc Houle is teasing us with some cheeky samples of what we can expect.

Already the bouncy beats of ‘Where Is Kitten’ are sounding very promising, and if his recent Boiler Room session is anything to go by, we are all in for a treat.

By Robert Bramhill

Each track could easily be found across all radio airwaves today, with the public developing a stronger admiration for the once underground genre. The Pop infused, bass driven tracks that Shapeshifter execute with ease and style will undoubtedly agree with the tastes of their growing audience.

Opener, ‘Monarch’ truly sets the tone for the album.

With its crazy synth laden breakdown it proves what Shapeshifter are capable of. Influences of early Shy FX can be heard throughout the beginning half of the album. However, as ‘Delta’ progresses, the edgier Rock sound and jagged guitar riffs on tracks such as ‘Giving Up The Ghost’ and ‘In Colour’ permeates the Dance heavy album making for an exciting mash-up, nodding warmly towards Drum & Bass predecessors Pendulum.

Shapeshifter ‘Delta’ is out now on Trutone Recordings via Ministry Of Sound Australia.

By Bryony Curtis

www.bbmlive.com 47

MUSIC NEWS

Album Reviews Cloud Boat – Book Of Hours

A couple of months ago, we were blown away by Cloud Boat’s stunning single, ‘Dréan’. Now with the imminent release of their debut album ‘Book Of Hours’, we take a listen to see if they are living up to the buzz that is still surrounding them.

Within a few minutes of this record, you’ll soon realise that it is not the most accessible of listening experiences. The duo’s craft is a complex network of tones that gel together in what can be described as an atmospheric soundscape you will undoubtedly become lost in. Each swirl and drone that accompanies the delicate vocals will put you in a dream like state that you’ll find difficult to shake.

In a live setting, this album will simply mesmerise an audience. Its soft, reverb-drenched feel is something that has the capability of sending shivers down your spine, and even on record there’s moments of blissfulness. ‘Amber Road’ is an unexpected heaviness compared to the rest of the album, but tracks such as ‘Wanderlust’ and ‘Kowloon Bridge’ are effortlessly brilliant.

Cloud Boat could well be one of the most original bands to have surfaced this year, and certainly this collection of songs holds some of the finest music so far in 2013. Their unique ability to fixate the listener with every moment of noise that filters through the speaker is impressive. If you give this record all of your attention, we guarantee you will be rewarded.

Drift away with the thoughts in your head and let Cloud Boat sail you to a destination you won’t ever want to leave.

Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires Of The City How is it possible for Vampire Weekend to still sound so God-damned original? It feels like it was years ago since we first heard the “Hey, hey, hey’s” of ‘A-Punk’ and drunkenly danced the night away in some shitty university bar.

But now they’ve returned with their third studio album, ‘Modern Vampires Of The City’. Although let’s be honest, it barely feels like they went away…

The New York based four-piece delighted fans with their last album, ‘Contra’ and a recent tease of new tracks on various US chat shows further expanded a desire for their loyal fan base to get their sticky paws on this new record. Now, with the approval of the American actor/Vampire Weekend uber-fan, Steve Buscemi, we can all marvel at this band’s incredible knack for writing exciting music again.

The fast pace of ‘Diane Young’ flaunts the band’s flamboyant style with precision, but it’s the records bold and elegant tracks like ‘Hey Ya’, ‘Unbelievers’ and ‘Step’ that bring to light a talent they hold that no other band comes close to.

Ezra Koenig’s vocals are full of witty words that conjure up a delightful listening experience you’ll happily take part in over and over again. Because the overall feeling when listening to Vampire Weekend, is that they are content with experimenting and trying something a little different.

It almost feels that the boundaries of generic songwriting don’t exist in the minds of these

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musicians. So as a 100 other bands come and go over the years, at least we will always be safe in the knowledge that there’s always a new Vampire Weekend album to look forward to. And this one is no exception.

Lorde – The Love Club

EP REVIEWS

Defected In The House Ibiza 2013 – S/T Celebrating over a decade at the very forefront of Ibiza’s unique and unparalleled dance music scene, Defected In The House Ibiza 2013 is the latest in Defected’s peerless compilation series.

Spread over three CDs and taking in tracks and remixes from Loco Dice, Rachel Row, Steve Bug, Nick Curly, Guti, FCL, Kings of Tomorrow and David August, this is another essential collection from the world’s preeminent House music label.

Whether you are planning a visit to the tiny Mediterranean party capital this year, or simply want to enjoy the experience at home with a few mates, this compilation is an excellent starting point.

The variety of mixes will satisfy the needy, and newcomers will lose themselves in the vast array of beats and grooves throughout. There are hours of tunes for you to get stuck into, each one with a promise of that big club feel, and you’ll be spoilt for choice.

Plus when summer is over, and winter sets in, you’ll be safe in the knowledge that you will have this vast compilation to reminisce over.

The National – Trouble Will Find Me

‘Trouble Will Find Me’ is The National’s sixth studio album, and although the band were met with a degree of uncertainty in their early years, they have now become one of the most formidable rock bands of today.

Lorde – The Love Club

This 16-year-old musician from New Zealand has literally burst onto the scene with full force, and is already making quite an impression. After almost instantly securing a number of worldwide record deals, her debut single ‘Royals’ shot to the number one spot back home, and has stayed there for at least six weeks.

The enticing, and exceptionally endearing pop tones that are found on The Love Club showoff the true potential of this Kiwi, and the fame that is sure to follow is much deserved. The hard work and dedication, mixed with her ability to write a dazzling song, is a breath of fresh air in a market that is overpopulated with imitations and false pretense.

Lorde is near perfect in every way. Sign me up to The Love Club straight away.

With the instant success that followed their last album, ‘High Violet’, this eagerly awaited fulllength will surely confirm whether or not the band is capable of maintaining that deeply depressing aura, with an abundance of mainstream appeal.

Their anthemic charm is immediately noticed within the first couple of songs, and you’ll soon picture yourself sipping on a beer watching them sing away the sunset at some monstrous festival. ‘Don’t Swallow The Cap’ flows wonderfully well and leads on to a stunning 15 seconds of creativeness when it comes to ending a song. And whilst the first single, ‘Demons’, is impressive, there are better tracks to be heard.

By the midway point you’ll have finished your imaginary festival beer, and you’ll probably find yourself drifting over to the bar, or in other words, losing interest. Because whilst this album is home to some great songwriting, it almost feels a little too laborious.

It’s got a handful of excellent additions to the group’s live set, but on record, you’ll probably find fans divided in their opinions.

As the shadow cast by ‘High Violet’ still lingers amongst The National’s presence, this new venture, whilst notable in parts, simply falls short of the brilliance that many of us had grown to expect.

Pixel Fix – Pixel Fix

With such a spacious and diverse debut EP, you’d expect ‘Pixel Fix’ to be seasoned veterans. Instead, this Oxford based four-piece are just getting started.

The blips and clicks that echo throughout these three glorious tracks bring together a blend of electro indie that isn’t a million miles away from the sound of the Mercury Prize Winning Band, Alt-J. But where ‘Pixel Fix’ truly excel is with their tender beats and delicate vocals. Add in pulsing rhythms and a youthful charm that is quite simply irresistible, and the world is their oyster. We can’t wait to hear more!

FUNNY NEWS Cheating Girlfriend Is Ghost Busted

Hungry For Love

If there’s something strange, in your neighbourhood… you’re probably living in the backwater world of Tasmania as one bloke found out last month after setting up a camera in his kitchen to try to film ghosts.

Instead he was left with a haunting image of something a lot weirder – footage of his 28-year-old girlfriend having sex with his 16-year-old son. How’s that for things that go bump in the night?

The woman, who had dated the ghost hunter for 11 years and has a child with him, reportedly started the affair after discussing driving lessons with the boy.

Soon after, she gave him the green light to get his hands on her gear box – although it’s not known if he rear-ended her.

The woman was set to be charged with sex with a minor, as the legal age of consent is 17. The jilted boyfriend has been charged with being a gullible dickhead who believes in ghosts.

Booty Call To The Law

The nearest BBM ever got to a threeway was when a lapdancer’s gyrating accidentally triggered the phone in our pocket and called our girlfriend. Little did she know her garbled shouts of “Hello? Did you mean to ring me?” were lost up the muff of Roxy from Bada Bings night club in Kings Cross. Maybe that’s where the word “muffled” comes from.

But two Californian crooks weren’t quite so lucky when one of their phones accidentally called the police as the pair plotted to break into a car to steal some drugs.

After asking who was on the other end and receiving no response, the female operator decided stay on the line. For the next 35 minutes she heard all about the duo’s plans to get some drugs.

“Get the bolt and give me the hammer just in case,” one of the suspects said before a smashing noise was heard.

The operator notified police and they were consequently arrested by authorities.

Breast In Show

Listen ladies. When a man says “no” he means “no”. And having been described as “adequate” and “not the worst I’ve had” in the bedroom department by no less than two former girlfriends, BBM knows what it’s like to have women begging you for sexual fulfilment – and not always from the ones we pay $50 to five minutes later.

But sometimes we men don’t want sex, we just want to go to sleep, or watch football, or wait until you’ve fallen asleep and look at photos of Cheryl Cole on our laptop. Whatever the reason, sometimes we’re just not in the mood. We’re not pieces of meat you know.

Like a Little Britain sketch come to life, a dirty Dutch talk show host had audience members squirming (and young boys masturbating) after drinking milk from a woman’s breasts on primetime telly.

Sadly, that’s exactly what crazy Yank bitch Krystle Harrison thought her boyfriend was after deciding to sink her teeth into his cock because he turned her down in bed. Battered sausage anyone?

Comedian Paul de Leeuw shocked viewers with his titty-lating stunt after suckling on both the guest’s pendulous breasts. The 51-year-old was interviewing women from a charity that organises milk exchanges between mothers.

“The victim and defendant were in bed,” said a police report. “The defendant wanted to have sex with the victim and began to touch him.

“How does it taste, nice and sweet?” de Leeuw said to the woman.

“Well, if you don’t bite you may try it,” she replied.

De Leeuw then leaned in and started suckling one of the woman’s breasts.

Moments later he transferred to her other nipple, before joking: “I find the second one better tasting, but I can taste that you’ve eaten asparagus yesterday.”

In a bid to regain the crown of TV’s most low-brow show, Jeremy Kyle is expected to get sucked off by an 18-year-old mother of four, while shouting at her father for allowing him to do it, in an episode set to be screened next month.

“The victim informed the defendant several times that he did not want to partake.

The defendant then grabbed the victim and bit his penis.”

The report went on to claim that crazy Krystle, 19, chased her battered boyfriend, with whom she has a young son, outside their house, slapping him and spitting in his face.

Despite also sustaining scratches to his chest, he said he did not want to press charges nor seek medical treatment for his half-chewed penis.

For a woman crazy for sex, she clearly hasn’t thought through the consequences of her actions.

“Hey honey, wanna shag?”

“Not tonight darling, you’ve bitten off half my cock.”

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FUNNY NEWS Caught With His Pants Down

Going Up Beyonce

We’ve just heard Beyonce’s new song ‘Grown Woman’ and we’re afraid it just made us love her even more – we are aware this makes us look like a 14-year-old girl.

RuPaul

We’ve all been there. You’re on the toilet, curling one out, when you turn to grab some toilet roll and – shock horror – you realise you’ve left it with the rest of the shopping in the kitchen. So you squat, crab-like, with your jeans round your ankles, and shuffle your way into the kitchen before shuffling back to the bog to wipe your now poo-caked arse.

It’s happened to BBM before, as we explained to the police when they caught us naked from the waist down in Cheryl Cole’s bedroom. When we told them we’d actually just been desperate for a poo and had entered the nearest house we could find via a broken window, when the aforementioned toilet roll issue occurred, they soon realised their mistake and only gave us a “suspended” sentence, which as well you know doesn’t really count.

Anyway, we’re straying from the point somewhat. Basically, it’s not a good idea to be caught committing a nefarious deed while your jeans are around your ankles – as 21-year-old Mohammed Ali discovered when trying to rob Chris Newbury, 56, from Grangetown in Cardiff.

As the burglar tried to make his getaway, Newbury pounced, bravely grabbing Ali’s trousers.

Being a 21-year-old thug, Ali already had his jeans half way down his bloody arse anyway (like the cool kids do nowadays), and a few tugs from Newbury was all it took to loosen them.

“He threatened me that he had a knife but I was determined to hang onto him,” said Mr Newbury.

“I grabbed hold of his trouser leg and they just came down. They were those baggy trousers that youngsters wear half way down their backsides these days. He just stepped out of them and ran away in his underwear. But I was left holding the evidence. It was actually quite comical but I was upset because he got away.”

Naturally, running around Cardiff in your pants is a sure way to get attention from the police and he was soon arrested.

And in more good news, this story gave us the easiest headline we’ve written all day.

The Big Bash Theory Settle down ladies, have we got a battle of the hunks for you.In one corner, we have a Norwich-based Doctor Who fan club, and in the other we’ve got a Norwich-based Star Wars fan club – and in the middle is actor Graham Cole, who apparently had a minor role in Doctor Who but is generally better known as “that bloke from The Bill”.

If BBM threw in a Star Trek reference now we bet you girls would be creaming your knickers.

Apparently police had to break up the rival groups at a special sci-fi convention. More than a dozen fans from the rival groups – including several in fancy dress – were involved in bitter exchanges outside the venue. And while the idea of Yoda telling a horde of daleks “Bastards you are. Fuck you up I will” is something BBM would love to see, killjoy police officers didn’t feel the same way after being called to reports of a man being assaulted.

A spokesman said: “After lengthy investigation, talking to witnesses and reviewing good CCTV footage, it was confirmed that there was no assault. The two rival groups were spoken to and advised to keep out of each other’s way.” The dispute erupted after the treasurer of Norwich Sci-Fi Club, Jim Poole, arrived at the event hosted by the rival Norwich Star Wars Club at the University of East Anglia. He was asked to leave as he approached Cole for an autograph – leading to the stand-off.

Organiser Richard Walker, 63, claimed the visiting club had been trying to undermine the convention by posting comments on Facebook.

So basically it was like an episode of the Big Bang Theory but without the hot chick with the nice rack – making the whole thing pointless.

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He/she’s just so fabulous, we wonder what he makes of the Queer Hip Hop scene…

David Beckham He may be a national treasure, but seriously, retiring from football? Come on, take a leaf out of Giggs’ book will ya!

Kanye West

Cheers for the megalolz of walking into a post.

Knobber.

Nadine Coyle

You may be fit, love, but starting up Girls Aloud 2 is something our ears are retreating into our heads at the thought of. However, our eyes and dirty minds will be pleased for it. So carry on.

Tulisa

Quitting the X-Factor or more like being fired for being a dutty chav. You decide.

Robert Pattinson

Either bonk Kristen Stewart or don’t. We think she’s got a weird mouth either way, and we’re fed up of reading about it.

Going Down

CRYSTAL BALLS

Horoscopes Gemini

It’s well known among your friends that, once you’ve had a bit too much to drink, you think you’re Michael Jackson. Give it a few minutes after your sixth schooner, and you’ll be on the dance-floor moonwalking, grabbing your crotch and yelling “eeehee!” in a squeaky voice. Everyone thinks it’s hilarious. However, things take a sinister turn on a night out this week when, shortly after your sixth drink, you disappear to the toilets. You emerge five minutes later “blacked up” and claiming people are “ignorant” if they think sleeping in the same bed as a child is inappropriate. Best start looking for some new friends.

Cancer

Your obsession with the fantasythemed hit TV show Lord of the Thrones, or whatever it’s bloody called, takes a sexual turn this month.

It started with just pulling yourself off over the scenes where that blonde bird with the dragons gets shagged, but now it’s moved into the real world and you can only get an erection by shagging dwarves with a big scar down the side of their face. Winter isn’t the only thing coming. Freak.

Libra

You start cycling to work. After a few days you get a bit bored so decide to make it more like the Tour de France by wearing a yellow shirt, taking drugs beforehand, and holding your arms aloft when you reach the office car park. Well done you!

Leo

Good news and bad news for you this month.

The good news is the numbers your mum has been choosing for the lottery for the last 10 years finally come up. She scoops a cool $4 million. Wahey! The bad news is you’re killed in a hit and run a week earlier. At least it’ll be a flashy funeral.

Aries

Beware of the pigeons. They are the newest members of the undercover police force and have been expertly trained to discreetly find hallucinogens among common citizens. They are still working on how the birds will contact the police to turn you in. In the meantime, should they find any illicit drugs, they will peck the shit out of wherever the stash is. You’re unlucky hiding place is your anus.

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Capricorn

After your many adventures as a backpacker, you come up with an idea for a sitcom based on hostel life.

Premise: Following the break-up of his marriage, a strange court ruling leaves Arnold Schwarzenegger with only one chance of gaining custody of his infant son – he must successfully run a Spanish-themed hostel for a year.

The show is called “Hostel La Vista, Baby!” and it’s hilarious.

Sagittarius

You contract a sexually transmitted disease after shagging Emile Heskey in a nightclub toilet.

Virgo

This month, your enhanced physical and healing capabilities grabs the attention of the military, specifically William “Bill” Stryker, a rogue US colonel in charge of the top secret Weapon X project.

After capturing you, Colonel Stryker bonds metal alloy adamantium to your skeleton – which gives you retractable steel claws - in an attempt to create the perfect soldier.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the X-Men, you’re not a mutant and Colonel Stryker is just a shell-shocked Iraq War veteran with a comic-book fixation. You die from lead poisoning shortly after he injects you with his “special” metal.

Aquarius

After the mother of all drinking sessions, you wake up in bed with Pauline Quirke (AKA the fat one from British shit-com Birds of a Feather).

Remember suicide is not the only option; help is only a phone call away.

The Lifeline number is 13 11 14..

Taurus

You will be asked if you want to go and see The Great Gatsby movie this month. Don’t bother, it’s shit.

Pisces

You have an argument with your older brother over which is the best theme song from old children’s TV shows. He says it’s the Littlest Hobo, but you say it’s Dogtanian and The Muskahounds.

Things turn ugly and you stab him. It proves fatal and you are sentenced to 20 years in jail. In his summation, the judge says that not only have you committed the heinous crime of fratricide, but that the theme tune to Ulysses 31 knocks both those songs into a cocked hat.

Scorpio

How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?

Find out the answer in next month’s Crystal Balls!

ASK CRYSTAL & JOKES

Ask Crystal Dear Crystal, I’ve got a bitch of a head cold. How do I get rid of it?

Regards, Brian Dear Brian, I’ve got crabs but you don’t hear me whinging. Manup you moany git.

Dear Crystal, My boyfriend is funny, loving, caring and generous and I’ve never been this happy with someone before. Unfortunately, he’s also a devout Christian and doesn’t believe in sex before marriage – whereas I love cock, will shag anyone and have even indulged in a bit of lesbian strap-on action in my time. It’s been six months without a shag now and I’m hornier than a bagful of unicorn heads.

What should I do?

Love, Catherine Dear Catherine, I see three options for you. The first one is a quick marriage – which I wouldn’t recommend as he could be shit in the sack. It’s always better to try before you buy. The second is to satisfy your carnal appetite by cheating on him with various randomers

in nightclub toilets. This isn’t ideal either as it’s how I met Emile Heskey (see previous letter). The third and best option is to tell him you’ve found God and that you’ve also decided to become a devout Christian in order to wash away your sins. Insist on getting a bottle of wine that night to celebrate and, when he’s suitably drunk, start going into explicit detail about what those sins are – particularly the bit about lesbians and strap-ons. Trust me, you’ll both be screaming the Lord’s name in bed that night.

Dear Crystal, There was a very embarrassing incident at work that my colleagues won’t let me forget. I did a very big fart and the whole office heard. They’re constantly teasing me about it. I want to tell my supervisor to stop this abuse but I’m scared that she will laugh in my face and tell me to get over it. I’m in this job for another six months. What should I do?

Yours, Peter

Dear Crystal, I own a new Audi R8 V8 manual and have noticed a hesitation when accelerating hard from 30mph in third gear. It turns out that this corresponds with the EC drive-by noise test, so, to pass, Audi has programmed in momentary throttle damping. I have applied an interrogation program via the OBDII port.

When accelerating hard from 30mph, I found the actual throttle opening temporarily reduces to just 15 per cent. This could make overtaking potentially risky. What do you think?

Sincerely, Jamie

Dear Peter, This, sweetie, is one of those situations that you should’ve covered for more promptly at the time.

A quick query of “Was that someone at the door?” would’ve saved a lot of hassle, and nobody would’ve been any the wiser. However, now the damage is done you have two options. Firstly, you can take the constant barrage of criticism on the chin and become the office whipping boy for eternity. Secondly, you can adapt the position of “The Incredibly Over-Confident Farting Man” and adopt a badge of pride. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

Dear Jamie, I think you’ve got the wrong magazine. I haven’t got a bloody clue what you’re on about.

If you’ve got a problem, make sure you pop down to my Kings Cross parlour, and we’ll have a good chat about things over some “cock”tails. Wink, wink.

Jokes News flashes: 1. Now on sale at IKEA - beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.

2. A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related.

3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland , Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.

4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.

5. The lead actor in the local pantomime production of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night - to be fair the audience did try to warn him.

Josh, Brunswick I went to see a house earlier with period features.

My wife hates it when I call her that... Paul, Richmond Police have revised down the death toll in the Oklahoma tornado after realising that locals who were reporting their brother, dad, uncle and grandfather as missing were actually just reporting the same person. Eric, Surry Hills Wayne Rooney’s newborn son Klay, was named in honour of his father.

Thick and difficult to work with. Nick, Darlinghurst My date started choking last night so I quickly pulled my cock out.

“How’s that going to help?” asked the waiter. Merv, Mornington

Australians don’t have sex.

Australians mate. Charlie, Coogee

“You’re not supposed to eat them love,” I replied.

Frank, Newtown

No wonder crime is on the up.

I’ve just seen a police officer giving a lap dance in a strip club. George, Manly

I found a video on my wife’s phone of me shagging her.

I don’t remember filming this but it must have been on holiday, I’ve got a great tan and my cock looks massive. Ben, St Kilda

My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I’ve slept with.

“Eleven,” I replied.

“Wow! You must be a player,” she laughed.

“No,” I said, “I’m their coach.” Pete, Fitzroy Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes.

I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was. Richard, Kings Cross Angelina Jolie said, “I lost my mum to cancer, my kids won’t.”

That’s because ‘your’ kids lost their mums to you.

Duncan, Woolongong Just heard the news about Alex Ferguson retiring.

It’s so refreshing to see a story of a man in his seventies, in the news, that doesn’t involve child abuse. Phil, Newcastle

With all these celebrities getting arrested for child molestation, it almost makes me wonder if Gary Glitter did have a gang. Tim, Surry Hills Jimmy puts his hand up. “Miss,” he says. “Would you do anal?”

“I beg your pardon?” says his teacher.

“I mean, would you take it up the arse miss?”

His teacher explodes. “You just stay behind after school and see me, young man!”

“Good,” beams Jimmy. “I was hoping you would.”

James, Noosa

Email us at competition@bbmlive.com to get your jokes published and win prizes.

In case any of you were wondering. The male ‘G-spot’ is located in the back of a woman’s throat.

Nat, Paddington This morning my wife said, “I find these post-it note jokes of yours about my weight problem really distasteful.”

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TRAVEL NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do in New Zealand

SKYDIVING

Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING

RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING Shotover Jet

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

river boarding

Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

ACCOMMODATION Christchurch

City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS

Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Queenstown

auckland

Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

Franz Josef Glacier Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

wellington

Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Fiji ACCOMMODATION

THINGS TO DO

BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com

THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

Skydiving

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

Scuba Diving

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

Things to do in Australia Skydiving

SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra, QLD, 4551 Ph: +61 7 5437 0211 Mob: +61 0418 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au/ SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

Scuba Diving Australia

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

Adventure Tours

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com Bunyip Tours 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

Kite Surfing

KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

SURF SCHOOLS

MojoSurf 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURFT TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters

PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Bike Riding Tours

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

Zorb Balls

OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball.

Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au

Wine and Beer Tours

PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

Strike Bowling Nationwide Ph: 1300 787 453 www.strikebowling.com.au

KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com

Paddo Bowls 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02 9363 1150 www.paddobowls.com.au

ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au JET SKI SAFARIS Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

Bowling

transport

Mighty Campers Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au Great Southern Rail Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au Travelers Autobarn Nationwide Ph: 1800 674 374 www. travellers-autobarn.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION LISTINGS New South Wales Sydney

World Square Hostel 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au Sydney Backpackers 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com Clovelly Hotel 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au Criterion Hotel 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au Jolly Swagman Backpackers Hostel 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au Bondi Backpackers 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au Oxford Court Accommodation Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com City Resort Hostel 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

The George Street Hotel 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Lord Wolseley Hotel 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au

Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au The Royal Hotel 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au Kanga House backpackers 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

Sydney Northern Beaches

Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

Sydneys Southern Beaches

Cronulla Beach YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au Hunter Valley Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

Katoomba

Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

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Byron Bay

Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

Nambucca Heads

Nambucca Backpackers 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 info@nambuccabackpackers.com.au www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

Lake Tabourie

Lake Tabourie Tourist Park Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

Queensland Brisbane

Tinbilly Travellers 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 44 66 46 reservations@tinbilly.com www.tinbilly.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay Base QLD Backpackers 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

Goldcoast

Trekkers Backpackers 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au

Surfers Paradise YHA at Main Beach Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surf N Sun Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Sleeping Inn Surfers 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au Coolangatta Sands Hostel Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au Surfers Paradise Backpackers rsrt Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

Noosa

Nomads Noosa 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

Hervey Bay

Nomads Hervey 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) Cool Bananas 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 Southern Cross (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com

1770 Beachside Backpackers 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

Cairns

CAirns Share House 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com Gilligans backpackers hotel & resort 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

Mission Beach

Absolute Backpackers 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au Scotty’s Beach House 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

Whitsundays

Barefoot Lodge Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Airlie Beach

Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/Whitsunday Village Travel 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

cape tribulation

PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Ferntree Rainforest Lodge Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

rainbow beach

Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

Western Australia scarborough

western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

COTTESLOE

YMCA Accommodation Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au Underground Backpackers 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au Billabong Resort 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Globe Backpackers 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au The Old Swan Barracks 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

monkey mia

ocean beach backpackers Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

Perth

Kununurra

Rainbow Lodge 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au One World Backpackers 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au Mountway Holiday Apartments 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au Britannia on William 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com

Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

broome

Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

Victoria Mildura

redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

Great Ocean Road

Johanna Beach Cottages 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com

Halls Gap

Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

Melbourne

Easystay Motel and Studio Apartments Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 Exford Hotel 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au Back of Chapel 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com Nomads All Nations 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad Flinders Station Hotel Backpackers 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

Melbourne International Backpackers 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au Hotel Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au

Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall. com.au

St. Kilda

alice springs

Jackson Apartments 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

South Australia Adelaide

Apollo Bay

Apollo Bay Backpackers Lodge 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au Eco Beach YHA Eco-Hostel 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

Halls Gap

Grampians YHA Eco-Hostel Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

Northern Territory Darwin

Ashton lodge & Wisdom Bar 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au Majestic Minima Hotel 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com Adelaide Shakespeare International 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

SAVE MONEY & PAY NO COMMISSION

BY BOOKING DIRECT ON ALL YOUR TRAVEL ACCOMMODATION & ACTIVITIES! TO LIST YOUR BUSINESS CALL or EMAIL BBM NOW

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RECRUITMENT NEWS

Dating Aussies & What It Can Do For Your Visa “But if it all goes tits up you can always marry a local and stay.” Alas, the days of bagging a Sheila or a Bruce for a visa are over my friend. The all-seeing eyes of the Department of Immigration and Citizenship will eventually find out and you will be gone. So do not even consider bothering.

Modern technology has thrown your life into the open and there are no hiding places. Yet for those in an honest long-term relationship as the partner or fiancé of either an Australian citizen, permanent resident or eligible New Zealand citizen this may be your ticket to remaining in Australia. If you do decide to go down this route then try to keep a record. Any official document which lists you as part of a couple that are living together is evidence of your qualifying arrangement. This includes phone bills, joint bank accounts, evidence of jointly owned assets, tenancy agreements, mortgages and flight tickets. Also, thanks to Zuckerberg and co. this is actually a little easier as you can also throw in Facebook relationship status updates and holiday snaps (keep it clean though). Even something as trivial as a Christmas card signed by yourself and your partner or membership cards to the same social clubs can help your case.

There are also several official documents for this very purpose.

The first is obviously either a Marriage Certificate or Relationship Registration Certificate. Next you will need a statement called a Statutory Declaration whereby both applicants detail their story on a couple of pages. You will also need supporting evidence in the form of at least two witness statements which is also known as Form 888. Try to pick independent Australian citizens or at least Australian permanent residents then supplement that with statements from relatives. A basic though important point is to ensure that each statement makes a direct reference to the type of relationship i.e. that the witness believes that the applicant and sponsor are “in a de facto relationship” or “in a married relationship”.

After laying your lives bare in front of a government department be prepared

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for intrusive questions on various aspects of your hookup. They could ask you to prove knowledge of each other’s personal circumstances and the financials of your relationship. You should be living together so they can ask about the nature of the household including living arrangements and joint care, as well as responsibility, for any dependent children. They may even decide to ask for testimony from friends and colleagues about social aspects such as how you behave as a couple in public, whether it appears genuine etc. The relationship has to be committing and the duration can count towards eligibility, i.e. the longer you have been together the better in proving that both applicants see it as a long-term thing.

Got all that? Still confident you will qualify? Then you should be looking at a Partner Visa: Onshore Temporary and Permanent (Subclasses 820 and 801). Of note is the current situation with gay marriage. Unlike their supposedly backward Kiwi cousins, Australia is still yet to legalise it, but same-sex partners do indeed qualify for a Partner Visa. The crux of a Partner Visa is that your partner must provide sponsorship for you and any dependent family members already in Australia, as well as those looking to migrate with the applicant. Crucially there is usually also a waiting period of around two years from the date you apply so be aware that any break-up will not only break your heart but will also mean you will probably have to leave the country. Put simply, you either make it work and put a ring on it, or forget about it altogether. If after two years the relationship is still going strong then you should be eligible for the permanent visa. This process is also made a teensy bit simpler by the fact that only one application needs to be lodged.

Each visa comes with a list of benefits. For the preliminary Partner Temporary Visa (subclass 820)

you are allowed to stay and work in Australia with your partner at least until a decision is made regarding your permanent visa. You can also study here but there are drawbacks such as the denial of government funding for tertiary study and the full upfront international fees. However, you do get access to Medicare, which is nice.

Should you achieve the Partner Permanent Visa (Subclass 801) then you can remain permanently in Australia with your partner as well as work and study here. As well as Medicare you would also be eligible for Centrelink and certain social security payments. Finally, there is the chance to go the whole hog and apply for Australian citizenship.

You may not even have to wait the full two years for a permanent visa if you can prove certain criteria at the time of your application. Most importantly you should be either married or in a de facto relationship (living together but not yet married) when you apply and ideally for at least three years. Even better, if you throw in a dependent child the timescale is reduced to just two years. In the unlikely event that your partner was granted a Protection Visa or a Permanent Visa under the humanitarian program and you were in the relationship before the visa was granted then you should declare this pronto.

Of course no relationship is simple, and there are various situations that are accounted for. For instance, the requirement could also apply to backpackers but, as ever, the rules are stringent. While travelling couples can claim to have lived together whilst on the move the fact that each had their own money and paid their way works against them. There is also the simple lack of long-term plans, hell, you probably have not planned as far as next month let alone two years, hence you would likely need to be

together for longer than the one year.

Each relationship is unique and thankfully the Department of Immigration and Citizenship recognises this. It even covers long-distance relationships, and if a sponsor cannot travel to their partner’s country then that situation is accessed with a view to getting the partner into Australia. As long as both are committed to a shared life then the time spent physically apart as a result of work or travel restraints means that the sponsor may still be eligible. One thing is clear, you have actually got to meet the person first for the time spent together to count towards the year so unfortunately time spent internet dating does not count.

As with most visas there is also the option to apply outside of Australia, which is handy if you intend to enter the country and put a ring on your Australian (or Kiwi) fiancé. This is where the Prospective Marriage Visa (Subclass 300) comes in which is valid for nine months. In that period you have the freedom to leave and re-enter the country as many times as you want or stay and get yourself a job. You can also study, though you will not have access to government funding. Before the nine months is up there is the implication that you do actually marry your sponsor and then you can apply for a Partner visa. After the application is submitted you can also use Medicare.

While dating an Australian to remain in the country used to be far easier it is still possible that a genuine longterm relationship can grant you a permanent visa. That is if you are willing to prove it and committed to lasting the distance but then true love conquers all, even the Department of Immigration and Citizenship.

By Omar Soliman

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Crossword

Across:

Just to make sure you’ve read and digested the whole entire magazine, we’ve put together this crossword to put your knowledge to the test. Prove you’ve been paying attention with the clues provided...

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4. A world famous Australian wine company (6,5) 6. A record shop in Melbourne (4, 3, 7) 8. Australia’s highest peak (5,10) 10. A place in Queensland that has multi-coloured sands (7, 5) 11. A type of whale you can see in Byron Bay during whale season (8) 13. A place in Victoria named after a British boxer (7) 14. The place where camel racing happens (5, 7)

Down: 1. A popular ski resort in New South Wales (10) 2. A long river in Australia (6) 3. An island in South Australia (8, 6) 5. The type of seal found on the coasts of Australia (3) 7. A place in New South Wales where you can go sand boarding (4, 8) 9. The perfect place to see a whale shark (8) 12. The type of metal that put Victoria on the map (4)

Answers can be found on our competitions page www.bbmlive.com/competitions.html or facebook.com/bbmmagazine

Pub Quiz Knowledge If you’re into pub quizzes then you’ll be pleased with this list of useless facts that you think you don’t need to know, as you’ll never know when that pointless bit of information you’ve retained will come in handy...

Lions sometimes mate over 50 times in a single day.

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It would take one person more than 1,700 years to watch every video on YouTube.

Bruce Lee could perform one-hand push-ups using only his thumb and index finger and throw a single grain of rice in the air and catch it with chopsticks.

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There are more US politicians than there are pandas in the world.

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When you lie, the temperature of your nose actually rises, known as the Pinocchio effect.

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