BBM MAY ISSUE 772

EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby SUB EDITOR Charlotte Mellor CONTRIBUTORS Omar Soliman, Robert Bramhill, Sophie Saint, Chelsea Forsyth, Emily Schofield, Isaac Tesfamariam, Arti Rajput, Brice Detruche, Alana Anderson, Georgia Kirkby, Stephanie Cross WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber DESIGN Basil Thomas design@what-media.com Michael Cusack James Edwards PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir tom.shakir@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 James Edwards promotions@what-media.com Joe Smith marketing2@what-media.com ACCOUNT ADMIN Rahim Noruzi CLASSIFIEDS & LISTINGS info@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 PRINTED BY SPOTPRESS NOTE TO ADVERTISERS Gaining the approval for the use of trademarks and images in advertisments is the responsibility of the advertiser and not What Media Pty Ltd. Advertising material is accepted in good faith and What Media Pty Ltd bears no responsibility for any claims or errors. Copyright of original material is held by What Media Pty Ltd. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden except with written permission of the publishers.

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CONTENTS

Hidden Cities

28

We take a look at some of excellent locations off the beaten track.

Comedy

Sydney/Melbourne /Perth

SPLENDOUR IN THE GRASS 5-6 4

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TRAVEL

Explore the world with us as we travel from the azure waters of Venice, to the dense jungles of Borneo. From here we venture to a very special retreat in Thailand known as Elephant Hills. We then make our way over to Australia and take an indepth look at the wonders that The Kimberley region has to offer, stopping in at Broome, Cable Beach and the Dandenong Ranges, before reaching Darwin.

Interviews Little Dragon - 30 Zara McFarlane - 31 Wolf Alice - 32 Guy J - 33

Write The Perfect CV

We take a look at the best way to write your CV for the recruiters out there, and help you secure work in Australia.

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FESTIVAL SPECIAL

Splendour In The Grass

Arguably the biggest festival in Australia, and by far the most popular with music lovers from all walks of life, Splendour In The Grass, is returning to the North Byron Parklands for three spectacular days of some of the best music on the planet. Back for its 13th year, there’s a whole lot of fun and frivolity to be had when the artists, bands, comedians, stalls and shops invade Byron Bay from Friday 25th – Sunday 27th July 2014.

How It Began Back in 2001, Splendour In The Grass was born and quickly became the sanctuary of every music addict.

Byron Bay hosted the festival since its inception until 2009, when it was relocated to Woodford, Queensland in 2010 and ‘11 while a new permanent location was found. The festival returned to Byron in 2012 where it saw success at Belongil Fields, but moved to North Byron Parklands in 2013, and sees its return there this year with many new and returning features.

The Artists With an ever-increasingly awesome line-up each year, Splendour has become Australia’s stand-out music festival, with a five star line up of acts on their bill. Headliners have included Supergrass in 2002, Coldplay in 2003 and 2011, Arctic Monkeys in 2007 and The Strokes in 2010, while up-and-coming acts both local and international have proven that they can put on just as good a show. This year is no less exciting, with the incredible US duo that is Outkast bringing hits like ‘Ms Jackson’, ‘Hey Ya’ and ‘Roses’ to the only Australian stage they will be gracing this year. Also on the line-up for Splendour this year are Two Door Cinema Club, Interpol, Darkside and Chvrches. UK controversial Pop princess, Lily Allen, will be headlining the final day, with Foster The People, Ben Howard and Nick Mulvey preceding, while Nina Las Vegas and Motez are just two of the DJs spinning the tunes on the decks. With the Parklands’ natural Amphitheatre hosting the main stage, the quality is expected to be better than ever.

The Culture Besides live music, Splendour creates an entire settlement of shopping, drinking, dancing and entertainment.

The Global Village aims to see to every need from a yoga class to a good meal and market stalls. Get your thinking caps on and enter the Splendour Forum, where special guests are invited to ponder the unanswered questions that have us all baffled. For something a little lighter, this space transforms into the brand new Splendour Late Night Comedy Club, so be prepared to laugh your arse off to the quickest and wittiest comedians in town.

This wouldn’t be a festival without the classic sleeping arrangement that is camping, or “glamping” as many of us now choose to do instead, and at Splendour they make it even easier for you with more space for camping directly next to the festival site, so there’s less time wasted walking to and from your chosen abode.

The campsite opens on Wednesday 23rd July for a total of five nights, so there’s plenty of time to get settled, sample the hot food stalls and explore before the party kicks off. Parking is available next to the campsite and all vehicles will need a pass for the arrival day, while caravans and camper vans can stay in the RV park.

Tickets are on sale from Friday 2nd May at 9am. Three-day tickets are $355pp, single-day tickets are $149pp and camping Wednesday - Monday is $99pp plus booking fees. If you need more convincing, head to splendourinthegrass.com and enter a world of musical mayhem and stupendous fun.

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The festival to be at, top acts from Britain will be flying over to bring their A-list sound to Splendour. Here’s some of the best British acts you can catch this year...

Lily Allen An English Pop starlet that found instant success with ‘Smile’ back in 2006, Lily Allen is everyone’s favourite prom-dress-and-trainers-clad star with a strong personality that is prominent in all three of her studio albums, on her social media pages and in her live performances, making her one not to miss. Following a few years away from the spotlight, she’s recently released her controversial new album ‘Sheezus’, so you can expect to hear all new material including ‘Hard Out Here’ plus your old favourites, ‘The Fear’ and ‘LDN’.

Highlights Through History With so many big names on the bill over the years and thousands of music fanatics expecting huge things at this year’s festival, things are bound to kick off. From the awesome to the controversial and even x-rated, here’s some stand out moments from Splendour over the years.

Lorde Replaces Frank Ocean Back when she was more of a New Zealand school-kid than worldwide Pop star, 16-year-old Lorde was asked last minute, by text, whether she’d like to play Splendour In The Grass on Sunday 28th July 2013. Replacing Frank Ocean due to a torn vocal chord, the festival novice had to ask her Dad for permission and ended up being a massive hit with the crowd.

Two Door Cinema Club

Mumford & Sons Booed On Stage

An Indie threesome from Northern Ireland, Two Door Cinema Club are no strangers to Splendour, but this year, they take to the main stage for the first time with their catchy, sing-along tunes to please the crowd. The boys are heading to Australia in-between writing and recording their third album, which follows ‘Tourist History’ in 2010 and ‘Beacon’ in 2012. With previous appearances at Glastonbury, Isle Of Wight and Coachella, they are staples of the global festival circuit.

After lead singer, Marcus Mumford, chose to bring up Australia’s poor performance in the 2012/13 Ashes, Tour De France and rugby, the crowd commenced to boo him right on stage.

London Grammar With the haunting and operatic voice of Hannah Reid and the melancholic electronics courtesy of Dan Rothman and Dot Major, London Grammar are the hottest thing to come out of 2013. Their debut album, ‘If You Wait’ entered the UK album chart at number two back in September 2013 and garnered much critical acclaim, resulting in a Brit Award nomination for British Breakthrough Act. London Grammar are now world-renowned and will be bringing the drama to Splendour in all their sultry and mysterious glory.

Ben Howard English singer-songwriter, Ben Howard, is bringing his soulful Indie voice and his guitar to Splendour. With influences from Van Morrison to Simon & Garfunkel, Howard gained a following after releasing EPs ‘These Waters’ and ‘Old Pine’, which was cemented with debut album, ‘Every Kingdom’. The outstanding material that featured, saw him nominated for the Mercury Prize in 2012 and win the British Breakthrough Act and British Solo Male Artist gongs at the Brit Awards in 2013. If you’re a fan of outstanding singer/songwriters, then Ben Howard is the man for you.

Lana Del Rey She came on stage wearing a veil, jumped into the crowd after two minutes and covered Nirvana’s ‘Heart Shaped Box’ when she performed in 2012. This lady is one to remember.

Kaiser Chiefs They almost missed their set due to flight issues, but they provided the best improv moments of the day with the band members crowd surfing and breaking down the middle of ‘Oh My God’ by getting the crowd to chant the chorus in true festival style.

Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears Strips Off They’re not exactly renowned for their conservativeness, and proving just that, frontman, Jake Shears, stripped at the end of Scissor Sisters’ set. As ‘Filthy Gorgeous’ marked the end of the set, Shears smashed a microphone stand, ripped off his outfit and proceeded to run around the stage with his dangly bits on show. After grabbing a towel to protect his modesty (a bit late) he scarpered off before anyone could shout “hairy balls”.

Chvrches This Electronic band hails from Scotland and only formed in 2011. Following the popularity of female lead singers, Chvrches consists of Lauren Mayberry, Iain Cook and Martin Doherty. Attention surrounded this threesome in 2013; with their release of ‘Recover EP’ and debut album ‘The Bones of What You Believe’, they came fifth on the BBC’s Sound of 2013 list. Influenced by the likes of Prince, Depeche Mode and Whitney Houston, they make ElectroPop that’s accessible to the masses and easy on the ears.

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By Charlotte Mellor, Images courtesy of Splendour In The Grass, Christina Kernohan & Stephen Booth.

Best Of British At Splendour

SPORTS BAR GUIDE Just because you’re Down Under, doesn’t mean you have to forego your beloved football, rugby,or cricket team or even your favourite UFC fighter. There are pubs and bars ready to accommodate your sport-watching needs, and with great grub and buzzing atmospheres in all, you can expect to make these your new favourite haunts. We’ve also got English Premier League specials and fixtures leading to the final - aren’t we good to you?

Aurora Bar

Scruffy Murphy’s

The Strand Hotel

Sydney’s best Irish pub and it is open 24/7! Scruffy Murphy’s has mixed personalities as you can sit down to enjoy a menu that has a combination of traditional Irish and international dishes or get involved with the night life as it hosts DJs and live music from the hottest bands every night. With Fox Sports, ESPN and Setanta on their screens it means you won’t miss a moment of the biggest games on TV as they air sports from across the globe, including AFC & EPL action.

On entering, you instantly get a feel of the cosy atmosphere of the Strand Hotel with the combination of warm lighting and beautiful stained glass around the bar. Behind the bar are the helpful and welcoming bar staff, who are able to recommend drinks, are knowledgeable of the area, and can advise on what to do for those new to town. The doors open Monday – Thursday, from 10am until 4.30am, with Fridays closing at 6am, Saturdays until 5am and on Sundays the Strand Hotel closes at midnight.

Upstairs at Scruffy Murphy’s, Goose Garden Bistro is where you will find all the traditional Irish and international meals. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner means that you wouldn’t find a reason to leave this great Irish pub. From 10pm in the bistro you can unwind after your wonderful meals and enjoy the sports on the big screens.

43 - 49 Goulburn Street, Sydney www.scruffymurphys.com.au

Heading to the bar you can request a specific game to be shown as the Strand Hotel has FoxSports, ESPN & Setanta. They show the biggest fixtures from AFL, EPL, NRL, SPL and Bundesliga from Germany.

99 William Street, Sydney strandhotel.com.au

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With three great bars equating to Aurora Bar in Surry Hills, it’s a great place to get lost in for the day. At BBM, we enjoy chilling out up at the Rooftop Beer Garden during the sunny evenings with a cool beer or cocktail, and you can spend your whole day up there in the largest beer garden in Surry Hills opening at 12pm.

We’re big sports fans and the Sports Bar at the Aurora Bar boasts four huge plasma screens that will show whatever sports fixture you desire and they’re available 24 hours a day. Find your favourite team playing on Fox Sports 1, Fox Sports 2, Fox Sports 3, ESPN, One HD & Setanta Sports.

Aurora Hotel, 324 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills www.aurorahotel.com.au

Pig ‘N’ Whistle - Riverside Brisbane’s very own traditional British pub carries the typical impression you would get back in the UK. Every day of the week in the heart of CBD, there is always something going on at the Pig ‘N’ Whistle, such as live music on Sundays, and live sports on Saturdays where you can catch the EPL action amongst others.

On Mondays you can catch more sports action as on the big screens with live NRL games shown every Monday followed by a pig spit roast on Tuesdays.

Mondays to Fridays the doors open at 7am at the Pig ‘N’ Whistle and close at midnight (Friday it closes at 3am). Over the weekend the bar opens at noon on Saturday and again closes at 3am, but on Sundays it returns to opening at 7am and closing at midnight.

123 Eagle Street, Brisbane www.pignwhistle.com.au

English Premier League May Fixtures 4th May - Everton v Manchester City 2.20am on Fox1 4th May - Arsenal v West Brom 10.20pm on Fox 2 5th May - Chelsea v Norwich 12.50am on Fox 3

6th May - Crystal Palace v Liverpool 4.50am on Fox 3 7th May - Manchester United v Hull 4.35am on Fox 3

8th May - Manchester City v Aston Villa 4.35am on Fox 2 8th May - Sunderland v West Brom 4.35am on Fox 3

Sunday 11th May - Final Day Ten games, eight of which will be live from 11.50pm and kick-off from midnight (12th May) on FOX SPORTS. Scheduled games are as follows: Cardiff v Chelsea Fulham v Crystal Palace Hull v Everton Liverpool v Newcastle Manchester City v West Ham Norwich v Arsenal Southampton v Manchester United Sunderland v Swansea Tottenham v Aston Villa West Brom v Stoke

UFC:

UFC Fight Night - Brown vs Silva - 11th May - 12pm AEST UFC 173 - Barao vs Dillashaw - 25th May - 12pm AEST

Who will be top of this season’s English Premier League?

Unforgettable Moments Of The 2013/14 English Premier League - David Moyes takes over from Sir Alex Ferguson. It was a daunting prospect for any man, but Fergy put his faith in the former Everton manager to continue his winning streak with Rooney et al at Manchester United...

- David Moyes sacked as Manchester United manager. After winning just 17 of their 34 PL games this season, drawing six and losing 11, Manchester United sacked David Moyes after less than a year in charge. The following match against Norwich City saw the reds win 4-0, with longtime player, Ryan Giggs, as temporary manager. The Welshman described it as “the best feeling I have had.” More than banging Imogen Thomas? Don’t think so, Giggsy.

- Luis Suarez Wins PFA Player Of The Year. The Uruguayan hothead was given the accolade following his record of 30 goals for his team, Liverpool - more than any other Premier League player this season. This is made even more astonishing after Suarez missed six games due to his 10-match ban for biting Chelsea’s Branisalv Ivanovic. We think he’s redeemed himself.

- Rooney & Shelvey battle for goal of the season. Who can forget Rooney’s eighth-minute goal from the halfway line against West Ham back in March? With David Beckham and Roy Hodgson watching in the stands, it was the highlight that Manchester United needed. But just over a month later, Swansea’s Jonjo Shelvey scored from an incredible 40 yards against Aston Villa, boasting it to be the “goal of the season” in the locker room.

Image courtesy of Pig ‘N’ Whistle

- Theo Walcott out of Premier League and Rio World Cup. Back in January, Arsenal winger, Theo Walcott, had his hopes of playing for the rest of the season dashed after suffering knee damage during the Gunners’ FA Cup match against Tottenham Hotspur. Rupturing his anterior cruciate ligament (whatever that is), Walcott was expected to be out for at least six months, meaning he will also miss out on the 2014 World Cup in Rio. - The winner is anybody’s guess. For the first time in twenty years, the fight to be crowned winner is wide open. With Manchester United under the curse of The Chosen One a.k.a Moyes and the top four constantly changing rankings in the table, even Sunderland could find last minute glory - although we highly doubt it. Liverpool have been playing outstandingly thanks to Suarez, and could snatch the title for the first time ever, but Chelsea and Manchester City are hot on their tail. It’s at least made for some exciting tele.

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SPORTS BAR GUIDE Bridie O’Reilly’s – South Yarra South Yarra is the home of an amazing, original Irish pub that gives a perfect, cosy atmosphere which you could easily spend every evening in after work.

Bridie O’Reilly’s staff are extremely welcoming and helpful when recommending one of the bar’s wide range of beers and traditional Irish meals.

Bridie O’Reilly’s is open from 11am – 3am throughout the week and the weekends bring a great set of entertainment, from live bands performing, to kicking back and enjoying the live sports action. The 11 big screens show everything from the A-League, EPL, Champions League, FA Cup ties as well as rugby. Away from the bar, you can enjoy Guinness and Kilkenny in the outside seating area after tucking in to Bridie’s very own Irish Chicken Kiev.

For a relaxing time and pleasurable atmosphere, you can’t get any better than at Bridie O’Reilly’s.

462 Chapel Street, South Yarra, Melbourne www.chapelst.bridieoreillys.com.au

The Precinct Hotel We love the Precinct Hotel at BBM because it has everything you could need from a bar. You can choose from its great collection of drinks if you’re after some down time, or you can enjoy a high quality intimate meal. The doors open at noon and so does the kitchen, where it’s ready for lunch up until 3pm, and it reopens at 6 – 9pm for dinner.

For the FIFA World Cup competition kicking off in June, the Precinct Hotel will be opening its doors earlier at 7am on the 14th June for the Australia vs Chile fixture. With its selection of screens you won’t miss out on any of the sport. The Precinct Hotel shows local and international sports from A-League, AFL, NRL, Super Rugby, NBA and English Premier League action.

60 Swan Street, Richmond www.precincthotel.com.au

Limerick Arms This venue in South Melbourne has over 150 years’ experience in hospitality and has a great presence with locals and visitors serving up traditional pub grub with a modern twist. From burgers, bangers & mash and plenty of goodies from the grill, they’ll warm your heart and your belly in no time. There’s also Parma Night on Wednesday, Happy Hour every day from 4-6pm and chef specials to make your mouth water.

The best thing about Limerick Arms is its satisfaction in a well-pulled pint and a chance to sit and watch your favourite games. Five plasma screens and HD projectors provide you with incredible views of the action, so you may even feel like you’re in the stadium! AFL, NRL, A-League, Rugby Union and even EPL can be broadcast live into this hearty pub, and if you’re particularly keen on watching something, just give them a bell and they’ll do their utmost to arrange it! If that isn’t hospitality, we don’t know what is!

364 Clarendon Street, South Melbourne limerickhotel.com.au

The Imperial Hotel This great little pub is a good place in Melbourne’s CBD to enjoy an ice cold beer and the Imperial Hotel cooks up some fantastic food and also has an outdoor seating area. The pub opens its doors from 11am until 11pm Mondays - Thursdays and also on Sunday. Friday and Saturday, the bar closes at 1am so that the good times can keep flowing.

At the Imperial Hotel sports is readily available as it boasts two giant screens and numerous plasma TVs that do stream Foxtel, Imparja and Setanta. You can catch your favourite teams playing from around the globe. When in Melbourne, we like relaxing at the Imperial while watching matches from the AFL, EPL, UEFA Champions League and NFL as well as a host of other major sports.

2-8 Bourke Street, Melbourne www.bourkestreetimperial.com

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Rosie O’Grady’s Going into Perth’s entertainment district in Northbridge, you will find one of its finest Irish pubs in the form of Rosie O’Grady’s. It’s a popular pub with the locals and it is welcoming to new comers and tourists as it provides a lovely warm atmosphere coupled with the friendly staff. You’ll have to adopt Celtic as your new football team as Rosie O’Grady’s is fanatical about the Scottish club!

You’ll often come across big lively crowds singing and supporting their team as they watch on.

The Northbridge bar is open Mondays from midday until midnight, Tuesdays – Thursdays service is from 11.30am until 1am with Friday and Saturday nights being extended until 2am, and Sundays closing at 11pm.

Corner of James and Milligan Street, Northbridge Perth www.Fremantle.RosieOgradys.com.au

Perth’s Mustang Bar is an American themed bar and offers patrons a mix of live entertainment in the form of sports shown on the screens as well as live music.

We advise you to head to the bar early to get the drinks in and to find the best spots to watch all the sports action right from kick off. The many TV screens and big screens show Fox Sports, ESPN, Fuel, Euro Sport and Setanta so you can watch the biggest and best teams play from local, national and international competitions.

The Mustang Bar carries on its American theme with the diner experience where you can get a taste of their famous American style dishes for either lunch or dinner. The opening hours at the Mustang Bar are Monday - Thursday 11:30am - 1am, Friday - Saturday 11:30am - 3am and Sunday 12pm - midnight.

46 Lake Street, Northbridge, Perth www.mustangbar.com.au

Ocean Beach Hotel The Ocean Beach Hotel sits on the beach front so it has some of the most stunning views to soak in whilst relaxing with friends and a few cool drinks. At BBM we love the environment at the Ocean Beach Hotel and the choice of bars makes it even better.

We love overlooking the beach, and at the Saloon Bar that’s exactly what you can do, and every Sunday night there’s live entertainment to liven up the end of the week. The bar is open from Monday – Saturday 11am – Midnight and Sunday 11am – 10pm. It boasts large windows that open up to let in the sea breeze, so it’s always a comfortable location to unwind and watch the sun set.

The Public Bar is where the action is at! For sports fans, open the same times as the Saloon Bar, the Public Bar sets up your day for sports and drinks by the beach. On the four big screens there’s Fox, Sky and TAB, as well as Pool Tables to keep you entertained while waiting for the games to kick off.

Cnr Marine Parade & Eric Street, Cottesloe www.obh.com.au

Inglewood Hotel The Inglewood Hotel is the perfect place to have a few cold beers and support your team. Also known as the Sports Central after its commitment to show all the biggest and best matches of every major sport, you can catch every moment of the action. From rugby to horse racing, this pub is big on sporting entertainment and has 16 screens to ensure there’s always something worth watching. From Monday through to Saturday the bar opens from 10am – midnight, with it opening on Sundays at 10am – 10pm.

Away from the sports, we’ve had many great meals at the award winning restaurant where you can enjoy some of the classic meals as well as some tasty specials. The Inglewood Hotel is an ideal destination for either tucking into some delightful meals or be captivated by the sports action on the many screens.

803 Beaufort Street Mt Lawley, Perth www.inglewoodhotel.com.au

Image courtesy of Bridie O’Reilly’s, The Precinct Hotel, Mustang Bar & Inglewood Hotel.

The Mustang Bar

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SYDNEY City. Happy Endings brings the audience a lineup of high quality acts that will have their sides splitting with laughter. Acts such as Dave Jory, Tommy Dean & Mickey D have graced the stage to showcase their talents and unleash their hilarious material upon the welcoming audiences. Alongside the great comedy, the bar offers great drinks prices and dinner packages so that you can make your time at El Rocco Room a proper evening.

22/154 Brougham Street, Potts Point www.elrocco.com.au happyendingscomedyclub.com.au

Every Monday from 8pm, The Café Lounge hosts its very own comedy night, ‘The Comedy Lounge’.

Voted the Best Small Bar in 2010, Café Lounge puts on a weekly comedy event that challenges local acts to try their material on the audience. The entry is cheap at $10 each, but you can pay half that if you want to wait for the weekly passphrase announced on The Comedy Lounge Facebook Page.

277 Goulburn Street, Surry Hills www.cafelounge.com.au

El Rocco Room – Happy Endings The multi-award winning comedy club is located in Kings Cross and offers up some of the best comedy acts on Fridays and Saturdays, with special mid-week events. This intimate venue has the vintage feel of the old school Jazz clubs that used to draw in the cool crowds of New York

Comedy on Edge Tuesdays is when Mark Williamson sets up a comedy night that puts on stage an array of local, national and international comedians. The platform is also open to new and upcoming comedians to test their own material on the awaiting audience.

Starting in 2006, the ‘Comedy on Edge’ nights have grown in popularity among fans of quality humour and has also drawn in some big-name acts from around the world. Head to the basement of the newly renovated Chippendale Hotel and join the crowds of regulars, students, creative industry types, hipsters, travellers and anyone who enjoys an edge style of comedy.

Corner of Abercrombie & Myrtle Streets, Chippendale comedyonedge.com

The Windsor Park – Corona Comedy What’s a better price than FREE? Yes, every

a barrel of laughs

Sydney may be heading into the quieter seasons, but that doesn’t mean the entertainment is any less raucous. For a hilarious evening courtesy of quality comics both local and international, gather your mates and head to one of these laugh-out-loud comedy nights.

Wednesday at Windsor Park, Corona Comedy kicks off at 7pm where people in the audience get to laugh at some brilliant comedians for free!

With $20 buckets of Corona, $6 Margaritas and $5 Tortillas available throughout the day, you can get merry and munch for a very reasonable price.

Also, if you arrive between 5pm and 7pm, you can drink $8 Mojitos to help set yourself up for some guaranteed laughs.

48 Park Street, Sydney www.thewindsoronpark.com.au/whats-on

Star Bar – Comedy Court

Star Bar will supply you with a digital pad to vote to decide which of the seven comedians deserves to win the cash prize at Comedy Court every Friday night! On top of the competition starting at 8pm, you get the pleasure of enjoying two special guest acts. Saturday brings ‘Quick, Some Comedy, Quick’, an hour of pure belly laughs from 8pm. Star Bar boasts to be “The only live stand up comedy club in the heart of the city!” as well as the only live audience digital voting comedy competition and show in Australia. Each week brings to the stage new comics, so there is fresh material always being tested out on the lucky audience.

600 George Street, Sydney www.starbar.com.au

PHUKLUB Not one for the faint hearted or easily offended, especially judging by its name! PHUKLUB is “a chaotic comedy free for all, where no holds are barred and nothing is taboo.” And yes, it is pronounced as you think it might be… Starting at 7:30pm every Sunday at the Imperial Hotel, the audience can enjoy an evening of laughs and tears for only $5. A word of caution; audience participation is greatly encouraged, so beware that you could be dragged up to “contribute” to the humour. If you’re thinking of joining the fun at PHUKLUB, you’ll be guaranteed an evening that you will never forget.

35 Erskineville Road, Erskenville theimperialhotel.com.au

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By Isaac Tesfamariam, Images courtesy of Star Bar & Cafe Lounge.

Café Lounge – The Comedy Lounge

SYDNEY Funkis

A clear Swedish influence once you step through the shop door, Funkis is a design haven of materials and clothing embodying Scandinavian culture. From the Marianne Westman porcelain to modern, fur-lined clogs, this store has become a staple for unique style in Sydney.

Shop 19 The Strand Arcade, 412-414 George Street 202 Oxford Street, Paddington www.funkis.com

Chinatown Night Market

A late-night shopping hotspot for Sydney-siders to meet local designers and try delicious produce, Chinatown Night Market thrives every Friday night from 4pm – 11pm.

Specialising in Asian cuisine, homeware and fashion, you can find everything from scented candles, herbs and spices to hand-sewn garments and funky accessories. The storeholders and shopkeepers are more than willing to translate anything foreign to you, so stroll around and let the sweet smell of Asia overwhelm you.

Dixon Street, Chinatown

Hot Right Now

Sydney is jam-packed with cool things to do this May. Here’s a few of our favourites.

Riley St Garage

This beautifully crafted establishment used to serve breaking vehicles, but now serves hungry Sydneysiders helpings of ribeye steak, grilled salmon and $4 oysters alongside $5 tap beers and $4 sliders during Rush Hour, Tuesday – Saturday.

55 Riley Street, Woolloomooloo www.rileystgarage.com.au

Ampersand Cafe & Bookstore

Ampersand Café & Bookstore Feed your belly as well as your mind with a good book, a cup of coffee and a slice of cake. Buying unwanted literature and selling onto a good home, Ampersand Café & Bookstore has a selection of reading material to pass the time with, while you devour a cooked breakfast or nibble on a sandwich. With three fireplaces raring to go come winter, this is a cosy little hideaway we’re more than happy to get lost in.

78 Oxford Street, Paddington cafebookstore.com.au

The Arisaig Tea Rooms

Craft NSW

Discover handmade Australian arts and crafts from this hub of history, culture and heritage.

Featuring bowls, jewellery, wall hangings and masks, you can browse the beautiful designs by acclaimed craftmakers in the gallery, or attend an exhibition to appreciate the attention to detail that goes into weaving, wirework, embroidery and painting.

104 George Street, The Rocks artsandcraftsnsw.com.au

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Missing the UK? The Arisaig Tea Rooms is a Scottish Cocktail bar and restaurant in Surry Hills owned by Scots and selling Scottish Culinary perfection such as tattie scones, full Scottish breakfast including black pudding and square sausage. The Arisaig is also Australia’s one and only bar selling Tennents on draught. When you enter the Arisaig located in the Readers Digest Building, which is a real Surry Hills icon, you can expect stylish decor inkeeping with Surry Hills contempoaray tradition. Whilst at the Arisaig you can also take advantage of the rooftop garden on top of the building complete with fully grown gum trees.

Readers Digest Building, 26 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills www.arisaigtearooms.com.au

Images courtesy of Riley St Garage, Ampersand Cafe & Bookstore, Funkis, Parke Davis, Restaurant 317 Oyster Bar & Dunbar House.

Parke Davis

Cocktails, 1950s throwback and a dining experience to die for; nestled in the basement of The Cuban Place, this smooth new joint screams personality with technically gifted bartenders blending quality ingredients, whether you order a Bazooka (Wyborowa bubble gum vodka, raspberry, mint, lime and bubbles with a stick of bubble gum) or the more modest Beer & Sauce. The food menu is cheeky and indulgent, with Nana Davis Cold Drops (banana drops filled with peanut butter and covered in caramel and dark chocolate) being the piece de resistance!

Basement Level, 125 York Street, Sydney www.parkedavis.com.au

Cargo Lounge 52-60 The Promenade King Street Wharf $10 Steaks from 11:30am

The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Fishermans Basket

Tuesday

Bar 100 100 George Street The Rocks 2 for 1 Cocktails every Tuesday and Thursday 4 – 8pm

Paragon Hotel Cnr Loftus & Alfred Street The Rocks Trivia Tuesdays for cash & prizes 6pm

The Sly Fox 199 Enmore Road Enmore Comedy Night 9.30pm

Wednesday The Hive Bar 93 Erskineville Road Erskinville $8 Gourmet Pizza

Bar 333 333 George Street $12 Chicken Schnitzel & Pool Competition

Thursday

Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Rd Coogee $15 Aussie Burger

Kings Cross Hotel 244-248 William Street Kings Cross Thursday’s On The Rooftop

The Nag’s Head Hotel 162 St. Johns Road Glebe Trivia and $9.95 Rump Steak

The Star 80 Pyrmont Street Pyrmont Bingo at The Star 11am, 2pm & 7pm

Friday Sugarmill 33-35 Darlinghurst Road Kings Cross $10 Sports and Steak

The Animal 174 King Street Newtown Happy Hour 4-7pm

P.J. O’Brien’s 57 King Street Live music at Friday Live 7-10pm Hotel CBD Ground Floor Cnr King & York Street $6 Stella Artois 5-7pm

The Loft 3 Lime Street King Street Wharf Live At The Loft Saturdays

The Forresters 336 Riley Street Surry Hills Hot Dog Eating Competition

Establishment 252 George Street Sienna Saturdays includes house beer, wine & spirits only $5!

9pm

Sunday

Darlo Bar 306 Liverpool St Darlinghurst Bloody Sundays $10 Bloody Mary’s, $10 jugs of local beer, free pool.

Bungalow 8 3 Lime Street King Street Wharf $20 Pulled Pork Burger and Pure Blonde

The Lewisham Hotel 794 Parramatta Rd Lewisham Sunday Soundtrack with Pat Powell 5-9 pm

Munch Brunch Baffi & Mo

You’ve got eggs, fritters and French toast to choose from, but don’t even bother trying to resist the baked goods. From carrot cake to strawberry sponge and smooth red velvet, brunch has never tasted so good (or devilishly naughty). Partner your dish with a Little Marionette – the café’s custom blend coffee – and enjoy people watching from the large brown leather lounges. Open from 7am Monday – Friday and 8am on weekends, stay for the atmosphere until closing at 3pm.

94 Redfern Street, Redfern www.facebook.com/Baffi-Mo-Espresso

Café New York

Now that the sun is setting on summertime in Sydney, it’s time to start enjoying those all important activities that don’t involve sitting on the beach pulling your jumper over your knees to warm up. Pass by some of these eateries and restaurants for the perfect brunch with friends.

Saturday

Two venues on one road, one open from 6.30am and the other just an hour later, you have no excuse to wait until lunch to grab something delicious. From French toast and a variety of omelettes to the Club Sandwich and Pork Ribs, this trendy little café is the embodiment of casual New York dining, with most meals straight from the grill. Eat outside on the first floor balcony and watch the world pass by below. Finish your mid morning off with a Toby’s Estate coffee and homemade cake and you’re set for the rest of the day.

426 Victoria Avenue, Chatswood 316 Victoria Avenue, Chatswood cafenewyork.com.au

Dunbar House

This place is something of a dream; sitting pretty along the harbour with fantastic views and a seasonal, fresh menu, it’s perfect for brunch.

Breakfast is served from 8am – noon and lunch follows straight after, every day of the week.

There is a selection of pastries, fruit salads, waffles, omelettes and pancakes, and you can add anything from bacon to ricotta cheese to your dish. Juices in the flavours of orange, carrot, and watermelon will quench your thirst. Lunch is more substantial with a choice of lamb, chicken or pork and a great charcuterie plate to pick at.

9 Marine Parade, Watsons Bay www.dunbarhouse.com.au

Tuk Tuk Street Bar

Enjoy an all-day breakfast or break the rules of brunch by indulging in light and fresh meals from 7am – 5pm at Tuk Tuk. With a choice of Spinach & Parmesan Scrambled Eggs, Spiced Stewed Rhubarb or Build Your Own Brekkie, you can enjoy breakfast with a twist or have a lazy lunch with filled-to-the-brim sandwiches or tasty salads. Don’t forget to try one of the freshly squeezed juices or daily-roasted coffees to give you an instant pickme-up. If you’ve absolutely no time to eat, order a Superfood Drink. A meal in a glass, this healthy kick will keep you going without the use of caffeine or added sugars.

229 Glenmore Road, Paddington tuktukstreetbar.com.au

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

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MELBOURNE

KNOCK KNOCK...

The people of Melbourne know how to have a good time, and they certainly know their comedy.

From weekly nights to one-off specials, there’s always something to give you the giggles...

If you’re a fan of improv comedy, then you should definitely be in the audience every Thursday from 8pm at The Big Hoo-Haa! Upstairs at the Portland Hotel, enjoy the best improv comedy in the state every week with a mix of improvised comedy, storytelling, singing and one-liners.

Originally put together by Sam Longley, the guru of improv comedy in Perth, moving to Melbourne, the night has grown in popularity and become a major event each week in comedy circles. Watch on as two teams battle it out to out-do each other with their on-the-spot material, taking inspiration from audience suggestions and props as they try to deliver the winning punchline. For $14pp, you get an evening of competitive comedy and you’re guaranteed to witness original material each time you visit.

Portland Hotel, Corner of Little Collins & Russell Streets www.hoohaamelbourne.com.au

The Comic’s Lounge

At The Comic’s Lounge there are comedy nights running throughout the week, with regular events such as ‘Mad Mondays’ and Tuesday’s ‘Professional Comedians New Material’ nights.

John Burgos and Doug Chappel host the ‘Mad Mondays’ event, where five guest comedians take part in live pranks with the help of a ‘Dare Guy’. Meanwhile, ‘Professional Comedians New Material’ on Tuesdays, sees the best and biggest names in Australian comedy grace the Comic’s Lounge stage to try out their new material. Join those in the audience to be the first to hear the latest jokes before they’re aired on television and radio. The show will give the opportunity to witness 10 comics each night, so there’s bound to be something in there to your taste.

26 Errol Street, North Melbourne thecomicslounge.com.au

Russell Howard: Wonderbox

From 18th – 20th May, the UK’s Russell Howard will be in Melbourne performing his ‘Wonderbox’ stand up show as he embarks on his first ever Australian tour. At the Athenaeum Theatre on 18th and 19th, Russell will be bringing his style of comedy that has seen him shine in the spotlight in the UK, and, due to popular demand, a third Melbourne show has been announced for 20th May at Hamer Hall. The TV star promises to deliver his famous upbeat and razor sharp comedy, in what is his first major tour in nearly three years. Tickets are still available for his three nights in Melbourne, as well as on 16th & 17th May in Perth’s Regal Theatre, and 23rd May at the Enmore Theatre in Sydney.

Athenaeum Theatre, 188 Collins Street Hamer Hall, Arts Centre Melbourne, 100 St Kilda Road www.russell-howard.co.uk/splash

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Open Mic Comedy at The Imperial

Enjoy watching newbies take to the stage or fancy doing it yourself? Open Mic Comedy at The Imperial is a laugh a minute from amateurs to experienced stand ups. Comedians sign up on the night and have just five minutes to make the crowd roar with laughter. Sign up begins at 8pm and the show kicks off just an hour later every Wednesday, including the welcome addition of Happy Hour drinks prices. Better yet, it’s all free, so come down and see what the budding Frankie Boyles or aspiring Jack Dees have to offer, then see whether you can compete, if you fancy it.

The Imperial Hotel, 2-8 Bourke Street www.facebook.com/openmicimpy

Five Boroughs Comedy

Formerly known as ‘Softbelly Comedy’, Five Boroughs Comedy comes to the locals in Melbourne every Thursday night, bringing some of the finest acts in Australia. Thursdays at 8pm sees

a host of Australia’s biggest comics such as Adam Hills, Wil Anderson, Charlie Pickering, Pete Helliar and Claire Hooper, entertaining the Five Boroughs’ audience. More comics have been invited to the stage and the comedy night has grown in popularity in recent times. This is also a great venue for breakthrough acts, as it opens the stage to Melbourne’s newest faces in the comedy circuit, and you can enjoy a great meal from the seasonal tapas menu with a 1940 style cocktail before the night of fantastic comedy.

68 Hardware Lane poprestaurant.com.au/upstairs-pop

Sugar Laughs

Tuesday night in the heart of Toorak is the go-to place for an evening of hilarious comedy. Sugar Lounge hosts the comedy night which is located in this prestigious suburb in Melbourne with Sugar Laughs, an evening of comedy that won’t cost you a cent! However, the last Tuesday of the month is a special showcase, when entry will cost $10, but well worth it we can assure you. Plus, you could be in luck to see some famous faces, when TV comedic personalities are invited to grace the Sugar Laughs’ stage. The comedy night runs during the bar’s Happy Hour from 7-9pm and $15 meal specials will fill you up during this evening of fun and debauchery.

8 Jackson Street, Toorak www.acemelbourne.com.au/sugar

The Loading Dock Bar

This bar is bursting with activity and is located in a cool and trendy old garage. Entertaining local and international acts grace the stage at the free comedy nights on Tuesdays to make you cry with tears of laughter. For a euphoric atmosphere that’s full of flare, The Loading Dock is the perfect place to enjoy everyday witticism and clever pranks.

450 Elizabeth Street/117 Franklin Street, Melbourne www.facebook.com/TheLoadingDockBar

By Isaac Tesfamariam, Images courtesy of The Comic’s Lounge, The Big Hoo-Haa.

The Big Hoo-Haa!

Best Of The Brunch

Breakfast Thieves

The guys here have quite literally stolen the idea of breakfast and turned it on its head. Think brioche French toast with candied bacon, saffron-poached pears with berry yoghurt, and quinoa muesli with mango and almonds. With special weekend dishes and a waft of freshly baked muffins, they might just steal your heart. Pop in 7.30am – 4pm Tuesday – Friday, from 8am on weekends.

Shop 1, 420 Gore Street, Fitzroy breakfastthieves.com.au

Mazzitelli

It’s eggs galore until 3pm at Mazzitelli, with a variation to suit all. Dive head first into the threeegg omelette, stuff The Patsy into your empty gob

or fill your boots with their take on Eggs Florentine, including poached eggs, English muffins, smoked bacon, spinach and apple cider. There’s also your choice of antipasti to pick at or handmade baguettes, all from 8am, seven days a week.

144 Bridge Road, Richmond www.mazzitelli.com.au

Pillar Of Salt

Brunchers flock to Pillar of Salt, with just 15 minutes between breakfast and lunch menus, so time it right and you’ll get what you fancy. Until 11.45am, you can enjoy a serving of corn fritters with smoked salmon, poached eggs and salsa, or discover Summer In Paris – a delectable croissant with French butter and half a ruby grapefruit.

From midday, opt for the Lots Wife, a generous open sandwich filled with rump steak, beetroot & horseradish relish, feta cheese, tomato and spinach for 20 bucks. And don’t forget about the special 5 Senses coffee – a finishing touch to your morning!

541 Church Street, Richmond www.pillarofsalt.com.au

Is It Café

Get comfortable at Is It Café, because you might find yourself here a while. Sampling the menus, dig into the all day breakfast of bacon, black pudding and homemade hash browns paired with a cheeky

Bloody Mary or espresso martini, whichever gets your juices flowing. For those with more of a sweet and tangy craving, the blackberry pancakes with lemon curd are a great alternative. Available from noon, lunch consists of salads, soup and burgers, with a hearty helping of hand cut chips if you’re extra peckish. With a marvellous play on words (check out the street name), Is It Café should definitely be your next brunch outing.

11 Izett Street, Prahran isitcafe.com.au

Image courtesy of Pillar Of Salt

The temperature’s dipping now, so you need to make sure you’re kept nicely fed. So why not add in that all important meal that falls nice and neatly between breakfast and lunch. Here’s some of the best places in and around Melbourne to indulge in the cheeky inbetween mealtime with friends.

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MELBOURNE Two Row Bar

The next time you get a hankering for craft beer alongside grilled cheese and charcuterie meats, quench your appetite at Two Row Bar. Barely open a month, this modest place should still be finding its feet, but it’s already a favourite with people seeking out relaxing drinks, hassle-free food and a warm welcome. Check out the tap beers on the blackboards and perch yourself by the window for excellent people watching.

351 Smith Street, Fitzroy www.facebook.com/TwoRow

Get lost in the wonderland that is Le Bon Ton. It embodies the southern states of America – and it tastes like them too. The brisket is cooked Texas-style over mesquite, the $16.50 crab cakes are done the Louisiana Gulf Coast way and all the pies are sweet and homemade. If you’re more of a drinker than an eater, stay for the frothy tap beers and Minnie The Moocher cocktail – it’s top of the menu for a reason.

51 Gipps Street, Collingwood www.lebonton.com.au

Zhou Zhou

From the owner of Oriental Teahouse and David’s Restaurant comes Zhou Zhou, a drinking den that’s fun to say and to visit. Owner David Zhou has aimed for a venue that channels 1930s Shanghai, with the biggest selection of Asian beers you can find, Sake cocktails to delight any palette and delicious dim sum straight off the menu.

455 Chapel Street, South Yarra www.facebook.com/zhouzhoubar

Hot Right Now

Panelpop

If you’re looking for new ways to express yourself, Panelpop is a new art medium in which you can opt to print photos onto a smooth stone surface, or paint, sketch or stencil on it. You can place an order online with the image of your choice, or pop into the shop between Wednesday and Saturday to view the panels up close. With so many options for a great gift, the possibilities are endless.

117 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy panelpop.com

New bars, great Lost & Found Market A lover of all things vintage and awesome? Lost & Found markets, it’s Market is the answer to your prayers with furniture, art, all happening fashion, books, records and a whole lot more available every in Melbourne Saturday and Sunday 10am – 6pm. Originally from times gone this month, by, you can pick up quality, retro items from the ’50s to the so here’s your noughties at amazing prices. guide on how 511 Lygon Street, Brunswick East not to miss out! lostandfoundmarket.com.au

The Commoner

With such a British influence, there are only good things to say about The Commoner.

Everything they put into their food is as locally sourced as possible, and every dish is as pleasing to the eye as it is to the mouth. You have a choice of the a la carte menu, featuring home smoked quail, beetroot and eel salad and pork jowl; or indulge in the Feed Me menu –four courses plus pudding for $75pp. If you’re starting to feel the chill of autumn, head down for a unique Sunday Roast, available for lunch and dinner.

122 Johnston Street, Fitzroy www.thecommoner.com.au

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Images courtesy of Le Bon Ton, Zhou Zhou, Panelpop, Two Row Bar, The Commoner, and Lost & Found Market.

Le Bon Ton

Bimbo Deluxe Corner Brunswick Street & Rose Street Fitzroy Board games for bored people $4 pizza

Strike Bowling Level 3, 211 La Trobe Street $20 Unlimited Bowling, Laser Tag and Pool Package from 5pm Walk-in only

Get Fit Flinders Street Amphitheatre & River Terrace Federation Square Free Fitness at Fed Square

Tuesday

Lucky Coq Cnr Chapel & High Streets Windsor Lucky Comedy 9pm Downstairs

The Carlton 193 Bourke Street $14 Steak Dinner, 250gm Porterhouse with Fries and Salad

Limerick Arms 364 Clarendon Street South Melbourne Happy Hour 4-6pm drinks from $5

Wednesday Ding Dong Lounge 18 Market Lane Chinatown Mo’Soul Wednesday Nights Free Entry

29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street St Kilda $1 Pizzas (7-9pm) $5 beer, wine and spirits from 7pm

Hit The Turf 131 Queen Street DJ’s, Prizes, Food and Drink Deals from 7pm

The Common Man 39 Dukes Walk South Wharf $15 beer and burger

HOLEANDCORNER This June will see an epic club night take hold in Sydney and Melbourne, HOLEANDCORNER. The night have announced a diverse line-up that will take place on 7th June in Melbourne and 8th June in Sydney.

Electronic Music specialists Fünf Touring and Mushroom Group’s Illusive have joined forces to bring a fresh new clubbing experience to the Aussie music scene. Taking place over the Queen’s Birthday weekend, the event will take over Home Nightclub in Sydney and Melbourne’s famous Shed 14. The venues will be transformed into a unique party space to present you with a one-night-only, unforgettable experience. Promising to employ the finest sound systems across both venues, the HOLEANDCORNER events will make for the most spectacular sound experience in Australia.

The Lineup The outstanding lineup includes a headline DJ Set from British Electronic band Hot Chip.

Having released five studio albums and a Grammy and Mercury Prize nomination, Hot Chip are no strangers to their craft. Renowned for their live performance where they re-invent their studio compositions to form an energetic and unforgettable performance, there is no doubt that Hot Chip will be blowing away the crowd at HOLEANDCORNER.

Thursday

Temperance Hotel 462 Chapel Street 2-for-1 cocktails from 6pm until late and $15 street food

The Precinct Hotel 60 Swan Street $17.50 Express Lunch + Drink from 12-3pm Station 59 59 Church Street Richmond Serloin steak $17

Friday Turf Bar 131 Queen Street Matilda’s Happiest Hour 6-8pm Live Party DJ and 2-for1 cocktails from 9-11pm

Melbourne Public 11 Dukes Walk South Wharf $1 Oysters from 4-7pm

Bridie O’Reilly’s 29 Sydney Road Brunswick Keep Calm it’s Friday drinks $6 pints, free finger food, live acoustic music 9pm-12am

Saturday

The Kodiak Club 272 Brunswick Street Tequila and hammocks 7pm-3am

The Retreat Hotel 280 Sydney Road Brunswick Saturday Night DJ’s 10pm-3am

The Last Jar 616 Elizabeth Street Full Irish Breakfast noon – 5pm

Sunday Hoo Haa Bar 105 Chapel Street Windsor $12 Wagyu bacon burger and beer $5 pints, bubbles and basic spirits

Asian Beer Café Level 3 Melbourne Central 211 La Trobe Street $15 Cider Jugs

The Quiet Man 271 Racecourse Road Flemington Irish Sundays $7 Magners, live music and Sunday roast

Also gracing the HOLEANDCORNER spectacular is American DJ, Matthew Dear.

Having supported Hot Chip, Interpol and Depeche Mode, the Matthew Dear live performance has been highly praised and certainly cannot be missed.

Henry Saiz, the award-winning artist hailing from Madrid, will be bringing his powerful live performance to HOLEANDCORNER. Performing with a setup of synths, controllers and guitars, Saiz is known for his personal interpretation of Electronic and Lo-Fi Techno – and with an international fan base, the Australian fans of Henry Saiz are in for a treat.

Israeli producer and DJ, Guy J is well established in the music scene, having made a name for himself as one of the world leaders in underground Dance. Make sure to check out the Guy J performance that is likely to bring an amazing combination of sensual and hypnotic mixes to his set.

Sonic roamer Cosmin TRG will be bringing his melodically advanced Electronic Sounds to Australia. The Berlin based artist is known for his evolving sound and as a renowned producer; Cosmin has brought his special Techno sound to clubs, festivals and arenas. Now it’s HOLEANDCORNER’s turn.

American born, Netherlands based, producer Xosar (pictured) is turning all the right heads.

Influenced by experimental sounds, horror soundtracks, Black Metal and Chicago House,

Xosar will be bringing her raw Techno tempos to the tour.

The HOLEANDCORNER experience is sure to broaden your musical horizons and will undeniably bring a massive party to Australia with its unique line-up and mysterious visual experience.

Melbourne – Saturday 7th June (1PM – 1AM) Shed 14, Docklands Sydney – Sunday 8th June (6PM – 3AM) Home Nightclub, Darling Harbour Visit holeandcorner.com.au for more info.

Check out HOLEANDCORNER’s exclusive guest mix for www.bbmlive.com by Myles Mac available on our site www.bbmlive.com

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

www.bbmlive.com 19

PERTH

A LORRA LORRA LAUGHS

When you’re yearning for some good times with memories that last, a night of laughs and banter is sometimes the only choice. We’re talking comedy nights, and Perth’s full of them. Just check this lot out for starters… participation.

Upstairs of the Brisbane Hotel, Corner of Brisbane and Beaufort Streets, Highgate www.lazysusans.com.au

The Comedy Shack

A comedic paradise from the experimental to the downright insane, Lazy Susan’s caters to everyone with all humour styles – excluding the easily offended! The comedy runs all week long, but Saturday is the most unique show of the week, when two teams of fearless comedians do battle in a cut-throat competition of wit, aptly named The Big Hoo Haa! This is a sight to be seen as great humour meets bad mime in the race to the punchline. As an audience member, it’s important to be fearless, as this show can get very interactive with improvised comedy sketches and hilarious

The Laugh Resort

This weekly comedy show has been running for over two decades, maintaining a fresh face and attracting big regular crowds time after time, seeing other comedy nights fall by the wayside.

The Laugh Resort has been “keeping the heart

Escape To Hillarys Boat Harbour

To get away from the hussle and bustle of the city, spend a night in the tranquil setting of Hillarys Boat Harbour. Boasting excellent restaurants, retail and recreational activities, Hillarys beckons locals and visitors to walk, cycle and sail its surroundings.

Accommodating hundreds of small boats and yachts, as well as providing many cruises for diving, fishing and whale watching, the heart of Hillarys is the harbour, and has been since it opened in 1988. The draw of fishermen and boat owners increased the need for accommodation, shopping and eateries that have expanded this coastal hamlet.

From formal dining to al fresco café lunches and take-away on the beach, there’s American, Italian, Japanese, Australian and Mexican cuisine to choose from, or enjoy the British classic of fish & chips under the south-west sun.

Sorrento Quay Boardwalk is home to many bistros where you can grab a plate and a drink and sit out on the deck overlooking the marina, while buskers and musicians provide the outdoor entertainment.

For something to get the adrenalin pumping, hop on a tour to see the area in a unique way. Whether riding through Hillarys on your very own hired Harley, catching a charter to see the humpback whale and whale shark as they pass through, or heading further out to discover the secrets of the nearby Rottnest Island, there are many trips to embark on from this beautiful harbour.

Make Hillarys Harbour Resort your home away from home in a stylish, selfcontained apartment, and browse the surf shops and cool clothing stores at your leisure.

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Comedy Lounge

At the Comedy Lounge, there are not one, but two weekly nights at two different venues; Thursday nights at The Charles in North Perth and every Saturday at Little Creatures Loft in Fremantle.

Comedy Lounge offers its audiences a very diverse range of acts each night, so those of specific comedic tastes can find someone to get them laughing. You can also expect headliners from the U.K. and Ireland as the Comedy Lounge attracts some of the best acts from the two nations for ‘An Englishman, An Irishman and a Scotsman’, the annual international comedy gala.

509 Charles Street, North Perth 40 Mews Road, Fremantle www.comedylounge.com.au/2011

Perth International Comedy Festival 2014 From 1st – 18th May, the largest and most sensational comedy event to hit WA promises to have you in stitches and rolling around with tears streaming down your face. The Perth International Comedy Festival returns for a third year and after doubling its attendance from that of 2012 in 2013, this year is expected to be even bigger.

The Astor Theatre will be the heart of the festival by hosting the biggest comedy night in Perth – the extravagant Gala event is sold out already! The last two years have seen the event bring such amazing crowds, and as a result of its rising popularity, this year the Festival is introducing a second Gala event. Amongst the forever increasing list of live acts performing throughout are a collection of established big name comedians. You will find international acts with the likes of Reginald D Hunter, Mike Epps, Julian Clary, Paul Foot and Stephen K Amos testing their material on the Perth audience. Also making an appearance will be Australia’s own controversial comedian, Jim Jefferies! So do expect some explicit but extremely hilarious jokes and stories from the Sydney-born comic.

Starting on 1st May, festivalgoers will be treated to an array of comedy, ranging from stand up to sketch, satire, improv, musical, absurdist, theatre and magic. The Perth International Comedy Festival has grown so rapidly since its start in 2012, that it has become one of Perth’s fastest cultural events. The festival is an amazing display of comedy, which feeds the appetite of the Perth locals as well as those making the trip to the WA. Throughout Perth perthcomedyfest.com.au

By Isaac Tesfamariam, Images courtesy of Lazy Susans.

Lazy Susan’s

As they stop by, why don’t you join some of the world’s finest comedians and indulge in an evening of pure comedy? Located inside the Rydges Hotel Perth, The Comedy Shack is a great spot for enjoying some jokes, from international sensations during their world tour to checking out local open mic performers. Their mission is to make people laugh and carry on that laughter into the next show. The nights coincide with who’s available at the time, but you can enjoy material from professional comics such as Ben Darsow, Johnny Kats, Sami Shah, Ayden Doherty and Mark Mahon.

815 Hay Street, Perth www.thecomedyshack.com.au

of Perth Comedy alive” since it started in 1991 and has even played host to some big names over the years. Go down to Rosie O’ Grady’s every Wednesday to experience the comedy for yourself and you’ll be treated to local, national and international acts, along with the comedy stars of tomorrow testing out their material on the expecting audience.

Corner of James & Milligan Streets Northbridge www.thelaughresort.com.au

399

Corner Store

Whether you walk in in a suit & tie or head to toe in tattoos, everyone is welcome to enjoy the soft lighting, relaxed open-plan and ridiculous drinks menu at 399. By ridiculous, we mean insanely cool, with enough cocktail creations to shake a parched stick at. From the classics to the imaginative, you can pair yours with a range of cuisine, because these guys have a great relationship with the surrounding eateries. Meet them yourself, seven days a week, 4pm – midnight (10pm Sundays).

399 William Street, Perth 399bar.com

Four showrooms around Perth and Fremantle and an online store are your go-to destinations for beautiful furnishings, stylish homeware and thoughtful gifts. From tables, stools and lighting to plates, towels and bookends, there are hundreds of items to select from, five days a week.

147 South Terrace, Fremantle 201-205 Stirling Highway, Claremont 25 Market Street, Fremantle 649F Alexander Bulding Beaufort Street, Mount Lawley cornerstone.net.au

Francoforte Spaghetti Bar

Hot Right Now

Step from William Street into rustic Italy with authentic spaghetti and fresh salads. A typical laneway restaurant that chooses quality over quantity, the menu may be simple but the flavours are not. Add antipasto to your order as a side, slurp on the carbonara and don’t forget tiramisu for dessert.

4/189 William Street, Northbridge www.facebook.com/ francofortespaghetti

From coffee to dining, and quirky little shops, explore all that Perth has to offer this month.

A place that not only serves you great coffee, but offers a unique experience, 1905 Coffee On Newcastle is satisfying to your heart as well as your belly. A not-for-profit organisation giving people with learning and physical disabilities the chance to learn extra skills, as a visitor, you can enjoy super sweet treats and hearty delights from delicious burgers to strawberrytopped pancakes.

231 Newcastle Street, Northbridge cafe1905.com.au

Bivouac

Where food meets art and you discover your next resting place from Tuesday – Saturday, noon ‘til late, Bivouac is a place for culture and rejuvenation. The kitchen is inspired by the Mediterranean, so expect share plates, veal & prawn skewers and baklava by day, and even more in the evening. The art that graces the walls is from local, emerging artists, and anyone can request to showcase their work, so who knows, you could be eating beside your own pieces at Bivouac in no time.

198 William Street, Northbridge bivouac.com.au

Images courtesy of Corner Store, 399, Francoforte Spaghetti, 1905 Coffee On Newcastle, and Bivouac

1905 Coffee On Newcastle

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TRAVEL

The Kimberley

Travel the North West of Australia and discover The Kimblerley. A natural paradise that you can lose yourself in, this is where your Australian adventure begins.

From the pearling town of Broome to the gorges and rivers that lie within the true wilderness of The Kimberley, this area beckons for adventure and exploration. Whether taking the Great

Northern Highway or travelling the great Gibb River Road, you haven’t seen Australia until you’ve toured these parts.

Broome itself offers much in the way of relaxation, so stay for a couple of days before making your way into the outback. Cable Beach is one of the most beautiful locations in the country, even putting tourist hubs like Bondi and Surfers Paradise to shame. 22km of clean, white sand and clear, blue waters are perfect to sink your feet into during an awe-inspiring sunset, or jump onto the back of a camel and enjoy the view from a different perspective. Roebuck Bay provides just as special an experience, when the ocean is at low tide and the full moon creates an illusion known as

Staircase To The Moon. Only occuring on certain dates between March and October, organise your trip just right and you could witness this moment of beauty. One of the main towns in the north-west, Broome is ideal to stock up on food, enjoy one of the many cafes and restaurants, and mix with plenty of people before setting off into the wild.

Travelling along the Great Northern Highway, now’s the time to let the scenery sink in. The rich red of the earth, the ongoing landscape as far as the eye can see and the empty vastness of the most desolate land in the world is all extremely humbling. One of the great surprises along the way is the sight of Alexander Island, not in the middle of the ocean like most others, but in the centre of the outback. Surrounded by

Cunninghame and Fitzroy Rivers, the island

is lined with vegetation, but is rough and dry further inland.

Should you opt for the Gibb River Road, you will experience a 660km drive of gorges, creeks and rock formations that are so magnificent, you will hold them forever in your memory. With campsites for sleeping and watering holes for swimming, there are plenty of activities to be enjoyed in this natural playground. Windjana Gorge is a spiritual staple of the Napier Range and boasts beautiful sea fossils on its cliff walls.

During wet season, the Lennard River runs through the gorge, but you will find pools of water surrounded by trees and shrubs when the weather is dry, attracting freshwater crocodiles for the respite from the midday heat. You are more than welcome to walk the 7km Gorge Walk and pitch a tent in the Windjana Gorge Campground.

Further down the road, you can check out the oldest cave system in WA with a stop at Tunnel Creek. Playing home to bats, frogs and fish within its limestone walls, embark on the 750m-walk through the water-worn tunnel that the creek flows down, and come out of the other side of the Napier Range. With the strongest Aboriginal history to be found in these parts, you get to see a piece of Australia’s hidden past. Gibb River Road eventually reaches the point where the Great Northern Highway meets Victoria Highway, which will take you further north to Kununurra and Nitmiluk National Parks.

It is these parks and ranges of The Kimberley that make it so demanding, yet inviting, and bring thousands of travellers to its core. Kununurra is the indigenous word for ‘big water’, of which you can certainly see why when you explore Lakes Kununurra and Argyle. Canoeing, fishing and boating are some of the opportunities that arise from these wetlands, a stark contrast to the rugged rock of the north-west. Look up and the 300-million-year-old Bungle Bungle Range

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is a sight to behold, discovered in the World Heritage Listed Purnululu

National Park, with scenic flights over the top of these enormous sandstone structures available from Broome or Kununurra.

For something more recent, but no less astounding, you can view the crater that was left behind from a meteorite less than 300,000 years ago. From the impact of 50,000 tonnes of rock hitting Earth, Wolfe Creek Crater stretches 880 metres across Halls Creek, a short hop south of Purnululu.

From its rivers providing the most useful of life sources to the sand and limestone rocks that have billion-year-old stories to tell, The Kimberley is one of the most untouched regions on Earth, yet it begs you to come and see what it holds. This is a challenging adventure that once only the most determined of explorers could face, yet you could do it tomorrow. So why don’t you? We dare you.

Take A Tour With Aussie Wanderers From Broome To Darwin (Or Reverse) There’s nothing stopping you from embarking on a journey through The Kimberley on your own (depending on how much willpower, water and knowledge you have), but travelling through the unknown can get pretty daunting, so make it easier and much more fun for yourself by taking Aussie Wanderer up on their 8 Days Top End Explorer tour from Broome to the northern tropical city of Darwin (or reverse). Available between 11th June and 30th November, young qualified guides are ready to show you a true experience of Australia that you never knew existed – and the activities are endless. While you will be transported in their very own 4WD safari truck, you can expect hiking and climbing to get to grips with the rugged terrain and demanding exploration that The Kimberley offers. The itinerary for the eightday tour provides you with plenty of excitement, and guarantees you won’t miss a thing.

Via the Gibb River Road, you will get to experience the Napier Ranges and see the freshwater crocodiles of the majestic Windjana Gorge, before exploring Tunnel Creek and setting down for the night under the stars at Silent Grove. The following day provides more adventure at Bell, Galvans and Manning Gorges, while the third day takes you to the historic El Questro Station, which you will explore on the fourth. Next is the renowned Bungle Bungle Ranges of Purnululu National Park by 4WD, followed by a stop at Lake Argyle.

Day seven sees you explore the lake further with the option of a boat cruise, before setting up camp once again, this time in the Northern Territory at Victoria River. Finally, you make your way to the last waterfall and swimming opportunity before entering the tropical city of Darwin by sunset. This full-on adventure epitomises everything that the outback is known and loved for.

From the beautiful watering holes contrasting the dry, red rock to the clear night sky above you as you sleep and living with only your basic necessities, this is the Australia that many don’t get to experience, let alone with a group of new-found friends. This budget quality once-in-a-lifetime trip costs from $1895pp, and can also be done in reverse, from Darwin to Broome.

Should you want to see more of Western Australia with a guide and plenty of company for the ride, you can hop on the bus at Perth and travel for 19 days to Darwin. As well as the sights and wild of The Kimberley, you also get to see the dolphins at Monkey Mia, snorkel the Ningaloo Reef, take a tour of Exmouth and hike the surroundings of Karijini National Park! From $3350, you have the addition of coastal bliss and water activities on this trip. So get your good pair of walking boots, your best swim wear and lather yourself in sunscreen, because you’re going travelling!

By Charlotte Mellor Images courtesy of Tourism Western Australia and Aussie Wanderer.

Nitmiluk National Park attracts visitors due to the deep gorge carved through the rock by the Katherine River, which provides the many activities available. Hop on a boat tour for half a day of sailing, sightseeing and even the possibility of swimming, or hire a canoe and make your own way along the gorges. If you’re not bad on your feet, there are a variety of walking tracks that can last overnight. The Jatbula Trail is a popular choice due to its destination - Leliyn, otherwise known as Edith Falls. The 4-night, 5-day walk is approximately 60km of all habitats and climates, from rocky terrain to pockets of rainforest. Chances to swim are along the way and Aboriginal art can be viewed in awe. So special this trail is, that only 10 people are permitted to stay in each campsite per night, so book your place as soon as you know when you’re going to be rocking up! Of course, if you’d rather drive straight to Leliyn, the Stuart Highway can get you most of the way, followed by a tarmac off-road for 19km. Without a doubt, the most unique way to see Nitmiluk and the surrounding landscape is to climb inside a helicopter and soar high above the mountains, rivers and gorges. From 12 minutes to a quarter of an hour, view the entire gorge system in a way that so few have had the chance to.

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TRAVEL

Borneo Whether it be a quick holiday from Australia, or a stop off on your travels through South East Asia, step into the unknown and venture to one of the world’s most dense jungles to visit some of our closest ape cousins... this is Borneo.

pungent with an interesting taste, so pinch your nose and take a bite – the locals will certainly be impressed. However, if Durian doesn’t float your boat, strike out and try some deliciously authentic Malay cuisine in the awesome night market by the Filipino Market.

Borneo is both affordable and easy to get to from Kuala Lumpur on the Western Peninsular of Malaysia. Jump on an Air Asia flight over to the main city of the state Sabah, Kota Kinabalu (KK), and you’ll be able to submerge yourself in the bustling city that is the gateway to Borneo.

There’s plenty to see and do here before you embark on an orangutan adventure, so don’t skip over this Asian city too quickly!

Unfortunately, KK’s beaches don’t measure up to Borneo’s other beaches; so if you fancy a swim and a sun-bake, pop down to Jesselton Pier to grab a boat out to the Tunku Abdul Rahman National Park. This group of five islands provides stunning beaches, great snorkelling and fantastic seafood feasts! Just avoid them on public holidays, as Malaysians flock here to sun themselves and the beaches can get quite cramped.

KK holds a diverse array of sights and has a laidback traveller district to boot. Whilst wandering the streets, you’ll encounter more malls than any one city needs, but have a gander inside Wisma Merdeka for some authentic food courts and Asian shops. Explore the maze-like Filipino Market (now known as the Kota Kinabalu Handicraft Market) for handcrafted souvenirs and pearls.

Gaya Street also offers a great Sunday Market.

Before leaving KK, catch an incredible sunset up at Signal Hill Observatory, which also offers a bird’s eye view of the city and the islands beyond.

If you can afford it, head to the Shangri-La’s Tanjung Aru Resort for a cocktail on their comfy beach beds that line the water’s edge. You’ll also get amazing views of the islands out at sea!

In the evening, head down to Gaya Street and Beach Street for pubs and bars. Beach Street is the tourist stretch so you can expect the best hostels to be centred around that area, such as Rainforest Lodge. Alcohol is heavily taxed in Malaysia so don’t expect super cheap prices. Your best bet is to drink the beer at the eateries and restaurants where it flows more cheaply!

Vendors sell heaps of delicious mystery foods, but pluck up the courage and have a munch as it’s usually something deep-fried yet delicious.

Fried doughnuts, vast arrays of local produce and fruits galore are here to sample… just be wary of the famous Durian fruit. This local delicacy smells

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Once you’re ready for a dose of wildlife, leave KK on a scenic overland route via Mount Kota Kinabalu (if you’re feeling particularly energetic, why not do a hike to the summit?) or on a short Air Asia flight straight over to Sandakan. From Sandakan airport, grab a cab or bus over to Sepilok: the home of the famous Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre.

The centre lies on the edge of the Kabili Forest Reserve where the rehabilitated apes roam.

Open from 9am – 4pm, 30 Ringgit ($10AUD) allows you to see the two feedings (10am and 3pm) where the keepers distribute food on the feeding platform. Tourists gather en masse to witness the orangutans emerge from the jungle

for their food, and just when you think you’re not going to see any furry gingers, they’ll suddenly emerge from trees to feast. Ultimately, the fewer apes they see the better, as it means that they are finally striking out alone and feeding themselves in the wild. Less orangutans at the feeding platform means there are more orangutans out in the jungle that can be deemed successfully released. The Sandakan Rainforest Discovery Centre has a pretty good canopy walk up in the trees and you could spot a wild orangutan on one of the trails.

Stay at the Sepilok Jungle Resort for affordable dorms and a great pool to cool off in (Jesus, Borneo can get HOT). It’s the most ideal place to the orangutan centre to sleep as you’re as close as you can get to their doorstep. The grounds of this resort are awesome as it sprawls over wide green ponds and through trees along wooden walkways.

Plus, the restaurant has WIFI – who else can say they’ve Facebooked whilst in the midst of a jungle?

We can’t stress enough how high a cruise on River Kinabatangan should be on your priorities.

It is the second longest river in Malaysia and winds through Sabah, providing the most intense and accessible ecological system on its riverbanks.

Unfortunately, this crowded wildlife that sits in the banks are from deforestation occurring inland, forcing the animals to take shelter closer to the water. Expect to see monkeys galore, multiple species of birds and if your boatman is a pro, you’ll get to glimpse some Pygmy Elephants. The boatmen seem to know exactly when and where to spot these adorable little Nellies. Grab a day tour with Uncle Tan for trekking, fishing and an evening river ride.

Borneo’s incredible wildlife is something everyone should witness in their lifetime. On your next trip to Southeast Asia, take a break from the endless beach parties and see the rarest animals Malaysia has to offer.

By Sophie Saint

If you’re keen on popping over to Southeast Asia at any point, have you considered the land of the orangutans? The part of the world that is chock-ablock with wildlife, filled with amazing landscapes and haunting rainforests is, of course, the mystical Eastern Peninsular of Malaysia: Borneo.

Elephant Hills Thailand

Continuing on our Asian adventure, we venture to Thailand’s Elephant Hills resort to get up close and personal with our pachyderm pals.

Rustic sights with dapples of luxurious living are combined to give you an intoxicating experience of Southern Thailand’s rainforest. Camp out in Khao Sok to hear the padding of elephant’s feet and the natural wake-up calls from amongst the greenery.

Elephant Hills is settled in the largest area of rainforest in the south of Thailand, where you can choose from 30 unique luxury tents to stay in. All of your everyday necessities are provided for in the form of twin beds, a bathroom and lights to read and write during nightfall, just what you need after a day of seeing exotic animals and wild plants, telling tales around the campfire and exploring this tropical environment.

This campsite has been aptly named after Thailand’s elephants that are estimated to be at around three thousand in population. The Elephant Experience allows you to prepare and feed them their daily meals, help clean them and bask in their presence. The Thai elephant is an important and respected animal and, at Elephant Hills, you have the chance to fully appreciate this integral member of the Thai community. Wake in the morning to the atmospheric mist that surrounds the hills, and discover the different sounds of the lush greenery and its inhabitants.

For even more adventure, you can opt to stay right on Cheow Larn Lake in the Rainforest Camp, so discovery is just a footstep away. Embarking on a safari tour from your bed, you can enjoy the unique Elephant Experience, a canoe safari down the Sok River, a jungle trek through the rainforest and an exploration of the waters and wildlife with an adventurous dive in the emerald waters. While you’re staying in Elephant Hills, enjoy uncovering the secrets of Thai cooking to help you on your way to becoming a Thai food connoisseur.

By Arti Rajput, Images Courtesy of Elephant Hills

There is a range of tour options to tempt you, but the full experience can only be found in the five-day Overland Truck Safari, including transfers, all meals, visits to Sri Phang Nga National Park, the old town of Takuapa and Buddhist temples, and the unique Elephant Experience, at just $825pp. Elephant Hills is located in the best tropical climate, offering an atmosphere spiced with ambience and adventure. Experience a luxurious getaway amidst breathtaking, one-of-a-kind, rainforest-covered mountains. www.elephant-hills.com

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TRAVEL

The Floating City

Rumour has it that Venice is sinking, but little do travellers know that Venice has always been sinking. Over one hundred islands are held up on beams deep in the water, raising the marshy ground above to create Venice. It was artificially constructed as a city of mystery and intrigue away from the mainland region of Veneto, and to this day the streets and canals of Venice are roamed by tourists, locals and fairytale characters.

Between February and March this year, the city played host to the yearly festival, Carnivale Di Venezia, where the masquerade masks in the many boutiques come in handy. The theme for this year was a fairytale and the characters you’ve read about since childhood came alive on the Rialto

Bridge and St Mark’s Square.

Transportation in this historical city relies mainly on water or on foot. There are more than three hundred bridges connecting the small islands of Venice and from Marghera and Mestre, you can take a short bus to the main bridge entering into Venice. Over the years, a railway station has been built so you can travel from Rome and Milan straight into Venice along with flying into Marco Polo International Airport. The easiest and most convenient way to get around within the secret city is by water ferry, gondola and on foot. If you’re staying in the four-star Hotel Canal Grande, it’s a short water taxi from the main land and ease of access if you have luggage. The hotel is a short walk from the Grand Canal Bridge and is located directly opposite its namesake. If you’re convinced to stay, book into the Prestige Double Room with its Murano glass and gold decorated furniture through www.hotelcanalgrande.it. To experience the whole of Veneto you can stay at the fourstar Hotel Delfino in Mestre, located on Corso del Popolo, which is a ten-minute bus from the bridges entering Venice. For five nights it is €370 ($552AUD) per person for a Double Classic and you can easily book your place online by going to www.hoteldelfino-mestre.com. You can buy bus tickets from the hotel reception and walk across the road to catch the number 4L bus towards the ferovia (station). Remember to wear your comfortable footwear as Venice is one of Europe’s rare automobile-free cities.

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Venice harbours Italy’s clear and fresh water as its shallow lagoon constantly mixes with the Adriatic sea. Contrary to popular belief, Venice does not smell as if it’s settled on sewers – it smells like the sea and lagoon that surround it.

The sewage system does not run into the lagoon and the constant flow of the Adriatic helps to clear old water. As Venice floods one out of every three days, the leftover water may smell slightly but only adds to the Venetian city. Within the city lies history and decay adding to the beauty of Venice and the magnificence of its art and architecture.

then waterbus number one goes around Canal Grande for St Mark’s. To find your way around onfoot, follow signs ‘Per Rialto’ and ‘Per S. Marco’, and to get out of Venice follow signs for ‘Roma Sq.’ and ‘Ferrovia’. Once you find Rialto Bridge you can take a gondola ride around the Canal Grande. Most gondolas are €60 ($90AUD) and accommodate six people (sharing will also drive down the price per person. You’ll find the gondola are decorated with velvet seats and pretty Persian rugs, giving you a taste of luxury while gliding through the maze of canals.

Piazza San Marco (St Mark’s Square) once played host to writers and poets such as Ernest Hemingway and the lively square will easily inspire you. For a magical touch, visit Saint Mark’s Basilica where you can compare it to other cathedrals and Basilicas in Italy. The difference is in its décor; where the rest of Italy has frescoes to tell stories, St Mark’s has paintings in real gold and rich red – a costly colour showing the expanse of luxury adopted by Venetians. There are red glass baubles hanging around the ceiling, which could be the native and extremely expensive Murano glass. Photography is banned within so take a million pictures with your memory. Nearby is the Murano Glass Factory where you can witness a glassmaker create jugs and bowls using a furnace and such extraordinary methods that will leave you with your mouth gaping.

Once you finish your gondola ride and walk over the Rialto Bridge, you will notice a nest of locks upon an iron railing where lovers from years back have come and solidified their love and relationship on the famous bridge. Venice is known as one of the world’s most romantic and alluring cities and this has especially been depicted in literature and films. Venice was popular in Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice and Othello as well as Thomas Mann’s novella Death in Venice. Venice plays temporary host in the James Bond series and 2010’s The Tourist starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. The depth of literature inspired by the city is striking and helps lure you into such a mesmerizing city. Its striking landscape, architecture and culture have also led to the development of its many nicknames, such as City of Canals, The Floating City and Queen of the Adriatic.

You can get something to eat from the dozens of pizzerias, especially on the street leading away from the glass factory. Italy is known for its cuisine and there’s nothing better than taking a stroll over bridges and around the lagoon with a slice of Prosciutto Cotto con Mais (ham and sweetcorn pizza). Italy is known for its bars that serve onthe-go shots of coffee. For a shot and a bite of something sweet (imagine an endless selection of pastries) you can go to Torrefazione Marchi on Rio Tera San Leonardo, Cannaregio.

This tranquil city of masks has been given its individuality through diverse architectural style that is always being adapted. The most popular of which is Gothic, originating in 14th century Venice, yet when combining Renaissance, Baroque and Gothic styles, the deep history and culture of Venice truly comes alive. If it weren’t for the floods, the canals, bridges and interwoven styles, Venice wouldn’t be the place of beckoning mystery that it is today.

From Piazza San Marco you can find your way to the romantic Rialto Bridge by going through an archway and following the winding streets, paying close attention to the signs pointing you to Rialto.

If you’re worried about getting lost on your way

Venice by day and Venice by night are two completely different places, and you need to experience both. Stand alone on the Canal Grande Bridge at night and experience serenity settle over the floating city.

By Arti Rajput

Loose yourself in the ancient city of Venice, the place where stories of old come alive, explore the maze of laneways and canals as you get aquainted with this jewel in the North East of Italy...

TRAVEL ESSENTIALS From the perfect sunnies, to the ideal delivery of your favourite tunes, and skin quenching essentials to protect you against the never ending assault of UV rays, we’ve found the perfect products to assist you on your travels.

Lumilife Inflatable LED Light The new solar-powered inflatable LED lights the way for adventurers.

The Lumilife inflatable solar LED light is a camping essential.

Instead of running on expensive battery-powered lamps, this solar light-bag is compact and will require no emergency battery. It can be used indoors and outdoors and is fully weather proof. $18.30 available from www.ledhut.co.uk

Organic Surge First Burt’s Bees Facial Towelettes Class Face Mask This hydrating facemask was inspired by jet-setting travellers.

With pure rosemary and lemon essential oils, the hydrating mask is applied for 10-15 minutes at the beginning of your flight. The deep-cleansing First Class Face Mask nourishes dehydrated and dull skin, without using harsh parabens or animal testing.

Arrive at your destination with moisturized, rejuvenated and glowing skin. $15.24 available from www.organicsurge.com

From the best-selling skincare range, Burt’s Bees, comes facial cleansing towellettes. Perfect for travelling, the 30-pack of cloths are 99.1% natural and remove all waterproof makeup without leaving your skin feeling dry or oily. Infused with white tea extract the pre-moistened towellettes cleanse and tone in one and are great for throwing in your handbag while on the go. $9.95 available from www.burtsbees.com.au

New Sound Angle Mini Bluetooth Speaker

The Sound Angle Mini Bluetooth speaker packs big sound into its small size.

With 4 hours of music playback, shuffle capabilities, a Micro SD slot to play music without connecting and an inbuilt microphone, the Sound Angle Mini is perfect for popping in your bag and taking to the beach. $60 from iwalkuk.com

Nüüd and Fre Cases By LifeProof

The award-winning company behind everyday protective cases has announced a new waterproof case for iPad mini with Retina display and iPad Air in Australia. Lifeproof now offers cases for the complete iPad range and is the first waterproof case built without a built-in screen protector. Nüüd and Frē offer unlimited protection with sleek design and a screen-less technology that forms a seal between the case and your device. The cases contain a thin, transparent film over the display, which ensures waterproof and dustproof protection. Perfect for the on-the-go traveller, the cases are $119.99 and $99.99 available from www.lifeproof.com

Northweek Sunglasses Northweek Sunglasses are the perfect fashionable accessories for the on-the-go traveller. Created in the heart of Barcelona by two college students, the Northweek company was developed for free spirited music, fashion and sports lovers. With a wide range of colours and styles, Northweek sunnies are perfect for anyone.

You can even customize your pair to suit your style.

From $30 available at www.northweek.com

Uplift In-Ear Headphones by House Of Marley Luxury lifestyle range House Of Marley specializes in speakers and headphones.

Created by Bob Marley’s children the brand is renowned for producing stylish, earth-friendly products. The Uplift in-ear headphones are perfect for on-the-go traveling. With fabriccovered cord to avoid tangles and noiseisolating ear tips to provide crisp sound, the Uplift headphones are the answer to perfect, comfortable in-ears. $55.00 available from www.thehouseofmarley.co.uk

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TRAVEL Sibu, Malaysia This city lies as an entrance to an enchanting part of Borneo, offering access to the Rajang River and its surrounding beauty. Sibu is a quiet place of tranquillity with exquisite cuisine and streets that are alive with night markets, as well as being home to the incredible sight of Tua Pek Kong Temple.

Madurai, India

Hidden Cities

Venture off the beaten track to these amazing cities and towns that boast just as much catnip for tourists as their popular neighbouring cities.

Known as the city that houses the world-renowned Meenakshi Temple, and famous for its intricate artistic carvings and age-old scriptures, Madurai holds a wealth of culture. It is one of India’s most ancient cities and so is blessed with charm and beauty.

Thakhek, Laos Settled amongst the old architecture of the Khammouane Province, Thakhek is home to The Buddha Cave, The Limestone Mountains and rare species of antelope, the saola. You can also glimpse romantic French colonial architecture dotted around the city as you tread the path of adventure.

Ičići, Croatia Located at the foot of the cavernous Ucka Mountain, beside the flowing waters of the Adriatic Sea, Ičići is a secluded yet inviting village. There are approximately 1,000 inhabitants in this quaint area, which is also residence to one of the largest marinas in Croatia.

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Most of the land in this city is either peninsular or islands, and sports a tropical climate most of the year round. Zhanjiang is the perfect place to trial seafood, invest in pearls and dare to see the largest volcanic lake in the world, Huguangyu Maar Lake.

Zhanjiang, China

Thale, Germany For an undisturbed hiking spot along the Bode Gorge, Thale is a quintessential village of relaxation.

This minuscule hamlet works as a sanctuary away from the distractions of everyday life whilst allowing you to lose yourself in the splendour of striking mountains and the local attraction of Teufelsmauer (Devil’s Wall).

The lower valley of the Büyük Menderes River is the seat of Aydin, a prosperous city that has been producing Turkish figs since ancient years. Here, you can laze in the springs and spas around Aydin, well known for their rejuvenating powers, or visit the old ruins of Aphrodisias.

By Arti Rajput

Aydin, Turkey

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INTERVIEWS

Little Dragon

With their fourth album, ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ released this May, Little Dragon are back with a whirlwind of music full of atmosphere and electricity. To talk about it in more depth, we caught up with drummer, Erik Bodin, all the way from their hometown of Gothenburg, Sweden.

Hi Erik, how are you?

I’m fine, thank you.

Where in the world are you right now?

I’m at my apartment in Gothenburg.

What have you been up to?

My 4-year-old daughter had her birthday!

Ahh awesome! We’ve been listening to Little Dragon’s latest offering, ‘Nabuma Rubberband’; as your fourth studio album, what do you want it to say about you all as a group?

I think we just want to tell the world that we are still evolving and having fun and doing our thing. I feel like we had more time than ever before, so that gave us the opportunity to be sure about who we are and what we do. We actually had a year-anda-half off from touring and we’ve just been home, going to the studio every day and even taking some breaks away from it and coming back. It’s been good.

working on a piece of music and usually it’s kind of dead until this magic moment, when it grabs you because you made a little beat and it doesn’t really do anything for you, but when Yukimi does her vocals, then you get very inspired. That’s maybe a little bit selfish, but of course we love music, we love listening to all kinds of music that gives us the goosebumps. With creative inspiration it’s more about being in the studio and seeing it grow.

What is Nabuma Rubberband?

The cover of the record is the little girl in the air, and that’s the name we gave her. We had a song called ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ before, and it’s a play on words. I had a little sketch called ‘Nabuma’, which is from Uganda, it’s a girl’s name, and Yukimi started writing about Rubberband, because sometimes Hip-Hop guys say rubber band about money, because of the rubber band that you put around stacks of money… It was such a weird marriage; she didn’t know I’d called the song ‘Nabuma’, and I didn’t know she’d called it ‘Rubberband’, so it became ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ and it stands for a lot of things on the album, like the two ingredients: ‘Nabuma’ is a very beautiful name while ‘Rubberband’ is very industrial, so it can be many different things, but in this case it feels more dark, and that’s the theme throughout the album – a mix of happy and sad.

“Nabuma is a very beautiful name while Rubberband is very industrial”

It’s extremely atmospheric with your strong use of electronics and Yukimi’s hypnotic voice; is there a certain amount of experimentation when you head into the studio or do you have a set plan in mind?

We don’t ever have a set plan.

Sometimes we come up with a concept at home, when your creative mind starts to spin, but you usually forget those ideas and then as we come to the studio it’s experimentation and usually takes the same procedure. It’s usually me or Håkan and Fred making some kind of musical sketch and it can be anything from a rhythm or a bass line, then as soon as Yukimi catches onto something that inspires her, she will start writing and we will record and improvise and try ideas as we go. It’s not far out experimentation, but we keep on trying until we find something that inspires us.

What does inspire you?

What really inspires us as writers is when you start

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We love the online promotion you did for your fans to tell them about the album; can you tell us more about it and how it worked?

That was something we came up together with our label and it came from the ‘90s where you could call your favourite Hip-Hop group and get a trailer of a track over the phone, so we wanted to do something more 2014. First we were thinking of Skype, but it’s more of an Internet thing. It sounds kind of crazy and abstract, but I think we were trying to do something fun.

Track seven is just eight seconds of what sounds like an introduction to the title track; can you explain its purpose on the album?

It is actually just an intro to ‘Nabuma Rubberband’;

it’s called ‘Lurad’, which means “I fooled you” in Swedish. We were just bored and wanted to make something stupid! We weren’t sure whether we were gonna put it there but… we thought “ahh let’s do it and maybe it will create some question marks”. Actually my daughter’s in the beginning of ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ screaming “Luraaad!”

From American TV series’ to video games, your music really enhances emotion and symbolism; would you ever do an entire soundtrack to a film if asked?

Yeah, we would definitely be up for that! I don’t think we intentionally wanted to make film music, but after you keep on doing it, it is very atmospheric. It draws you in and it creates a visual by itself in your mind. There’s no project set to be done for film, but we’d love to.

Is there a film you would have loved to have made the music for?

Now my mind is blank! I really like ‘Drive’, that’s a great movie with a great soundtrack.

If you could work with anyone in the world, dead or alive, whom would you choose?

I always wanted to work with Jimi Hendrix, but he’s dead. I would have loved to see where his mind would be in this day and age; I always felt like he did something beyond the norm. He was breaking some limits. That would be my dream.

Besides music, what are your other passions in life?

I really love sports, actually! I joined a speed skating team here; it’s very fun and challenging.

I’m not particularly good at any of the sports I’m doing! I think it keeps me grounded, keeps me sober!

So, Yukimi inspired the name Little Dragon due to her tantrums in the studio; has she managed to rein them in?

[Laughs] Yeah, definitely! It’s almost like an Olympic fire; someone else has to be the Little Dragon now. Sometimes it’s me, sometimes it’s Håkan or Fred. I feel like Yukimi is the most harmonised now – she managed to channel it out through creativity.

Zara McFarlane

The stunning vocals of Zara McFarlane have renewed our love affair with Jazz.

From the smooth tunes of ‘If You Knew Her’ to her captivating performance beside a live band, we couldn’t pass on the chance to chat with this London songstress about the influences behind her music and where to find the best Jazz in her hometown.

What have you been up to this week?

I have been on the Jools Holland show and I was in Paris at the weekend doing gigs out there.

Everything has been pretty crazy!

We’ve been listening to ‘If You Knew Her’ and your voice is so smooth and soulful, it’s no wonder that you’ve got to where you are, but when did you know that a career in music was for you?

It wasn’t until I did my degree, really. Prior to studying my undergrad, I was performing and studying at the BRITS School, and I did that because I loved the idea of theatre, music and dance all combined. When I left, I went onto do a music course, and I still had singing as my main strength, dancing and acting really weren’t my strongest points, and I did that because I loved music, I wasn’t really sure whether I would do that as a career. As I started my undergrad, things started to develop more and more and I was working with different bands and travelling.

The album’s very cool and laidback, what would you describe as the themes?

The idea of women and the emotions and complexity of women. It was inspired by my own family, really – there’s a lot of women in my family!

Were your family influential in your path to music?

Not really! [Laughs] They’re not musical at all.

But then, as Caribbean people, we have lots of music in the house when we have a party, or a christening, even in church; I grew up in an Evangelical church so there’s a heavy influence of pray and worship, so there’s a lot of singing involved. My parents are not musical at all; I didn’t have anyone playing instruments or singing in that way at a high level.

You’re playing Sunsplash in Bodrum, Turkey in June. What does a live performance with Zara McFarlane involve?

A live performance consists of my main band; the core guys are saxophone, double bass, drums

and piano, and then there’s me on vocal. Many of those guys I’ve known for quite a long time now, so we’re able to play things up a bit, everything tends to be spontaneous and improvised, obviously because it’s Jazz music. A lot of the tracks on this album are duets, but when we do it live, we have incorporated the whole band into the tracks, so sometimes there’ll be slightly different versions to the album, but we’ve been able to develop it really nicely on the live show.

opportunity to get involved in it outside of study.

But nowadays it’s much more accessible for young people to go out and do different things; there’s venues that allow young musicians to play and jam, so I think I’ve learnt the most through the live things that I’ve done and challenging myself.

Having the study is useful and important if you’re trying to teach other people, but as a performer, I’ve definitely learnt quicker live, and getting to do it. Just go on stage and do it!

Would you say Jazz is more of a live music form rather than recorded?

I suppose traditionally it was a live music art form and back in the day as Swing in the 1930s, it was more a Pop music art form, to be performed in clubs and to dance to. Over the years, it’s become more of a sit-down, listen and enjoy type of music, which we bring an element of spontaneity and groove to. But then, even in the ‘60s, a lot of the more avant-garde things, people would be collectors of those albums and really pay attention and study, so I think it’s equal these days.

Is there one particular individual that has inspired you?

Not necessarily musically, but I’m very close to my mum and my sister. They’re very strong, fun, happy, and have been through many difficult things, but still continue with a smile on their face; they haven’t turned negative. They are a great inspiration to me.

“Just go on stage and do it!”

London’s always had a strong Jazz scene; are there any clubs that you would recommend in the capital?

Ronnie Scott’s now does a great programme for Soul and Jazz; they’ve become a little bit more eclectic. Places like Spice Of Life, which is in the Tottenham Court Road area; then you’ve got places like The Hideaway in Streatham, which is quite a big venue with different rooms for comedy as well, and PizzaExpress of course, in Dean Street.

You spent a really long time learning your craft, and you’re teaching it now yourself, so if you could tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?

Hmm that’s interesting, I probably shouldn’t say that…

What’s that?

Well, I would say that you don’t necessarily need to study, as long as you’re putting yourself in situations where you can be involved in music.

For me, I didn’t really have that personality or

Do you put that inspiration into your music?

I think that’s what I did most with this album.

You’ve worked with some amazing talents like Gilles Peterson, Leron Thomas and Gary Crosby; if you could work on an album with anyone, dead or alive, whom would you choose?

I would loved to have done something with Nina Simone. I would love to do something with Wynton Marsalis, Gregory Porter, Jose James – those kind of guys.

Two critically-acclaimed albums down the line,what is next for you?

Next most immediately is lots of gigging! I’m travelling quite a bit around Europe and the UK, and then I’ve also got the opportunity to go to the US to do some things out there. Probably towards the end of the year – trying to start writing again for the next album.

Have you played much in the US? No, this is a brand new thing for me. I have no idea what it’s going to be like! We are going to LA, San Francisco and New York, so there’ll probably be quite a few differences just within those areas music and audience-wise.

Interviews by Charlotte Mellor

Hi Zara, how are you?

I’m fine, thank you.

www.bbmlive.com 31

INTERVIEWS

Wolf Alice

After making waves across the radio back home in the UK and Australia, Wolf Alice have treated us to ‘Creature Songs’, a teaser to their debut album. With their first ever gig at Glastonbury this June and plenty of buzz surrounding this intriguing foursome, we sat down with drummer Joel to see what he makes of their instant success.

What have you been up to this week?

We’ve been promoting our new EP, ‘Creature Songs’, which has been going up online so I’ve been listening to peoples’ reactions and getting my kicks out of everyone’s compliments! [Laughs] It’s been sick, listening to lots of radio play and triple j have been smashing ‘Moaning Lisa Smile’ in Australia so shout out to them!

I’ve basically been listening to myself and reading about myself.

at Hop Farm or something…

Haha! So, was it a fairly natural occurrence?

Yeah, pretty much. The other three new each other from ice skating; Joff and Ellie were on an ice skating team and Theo’s mum was the teacher!

I was in a different band, Ellie came to see a few of our shows and I met her through her boyfriend, so we all hung out. There was no trickery; we recorded a song called ‘Leaving You’ and we did the vocals in Joff’s bedroom in Hammersmith, we put it out and it all went a bit nuts.

Maybe it was fate, but I doubt it. It was just the Internet, to be honest.

“Everyone always compares us to bands that we don’t like”

We’ve been checking it out ourselves. Following the release of ‘Blush’ last year, was there high demand to go back into the studio?

Yeah, definitely. Originally the plan was that we were gonna just do the album and bring it out, maybe even around now, but we were in a really lucky position where we weren’t rushed to do that. So we’ve been gluttonous with our time, really. These four songs – we had to put something out – and it wasn’t like they weren’t good enough for the album, but they sat together quite well. I’m really happy with it and I think the songs have evolved; we needed to do it as a process to see where we were gonna sit with everything. There’s always talk of us being really eclectic, and it’s never our sole concern to do it on purpose, so I think we were looking to see what Wolf Alice really sounded like.

So, let’s go back to the beginning. How did Wolf Alice come to be as it is today?

Well, Ellie was doing her own vibe. She found Joff and I saw them at a pub in Kilburn when they had a different drummer and bassist. After the course of a couple of weeks, we all fell into the same band. I was standing in for a gig because Joff broke the drummer’s arm… and it all just kept going.

How did that happen?!

I think it was Joff just being Joff at a festival and he picked him up and lobbed him towards Bob Dillon

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Is there anything you had to get used to or learn about each other?

I had to get used to playing the drums, because I’d never played the drums until I joined Wolf Alice.

I played guitar, and Theo plays bass whereas he always played guitar. I was always at the front and now I’m at the back. It’s been a very natural progression and when you spend this much time with three new people, it’s like you get married to them in a rehearsal space and you have to keep it going for a long time. You get to each other’s quirks…Joff’s smell, Theo’s constant bloody excitement and energy, which is just ridiculous!

Was it hard moving from the front of the stage to the back?

No, it’s fine by me! I look a lot better in the darkness at the back… And I’ve started to adore the drums. It’s been a personal challenge to become the best drummer of all time in the last six months and I haven’t done it so, gotta keep going!

So who are your influences?

I don’t know. We’re all into very different things, but Theo and I have always bonded over Queens Of The Stone Age and I personally only ever really listen to ‘All Things Must Pass’ by George Harrison, which is the most amazing album, Dennis Wilson, The Beach Boys – anything with harmony and vocals as well as Hardcore Punk, early Replacements records and Minor Threat. Joff

is the most amazing folk guitarist I’ve ever come across, which is something that will be shown later on, but he’s into John Martin, Nick Drake; Ellie’s into loads of different things. We’ve all got really cool parents who have brought us up on mad, left-field music.

You’re heading to Glastonbury and Reading & Leeds, this year. Are these your first festival gigs?

We’ve done a few smaller gigs. Actually, my first gig was at a really small Folk festival called Barn On The Farm, and they didn’t realise that we were quite heavy, and they put us on in this barn and after two songs they asked us to stop… So I only played two songs for my first gig in Wolf Alice.

But these will be our first major festivals and Joff screamed for joy when he found out we were doing Glastonbury – it’s like his mecca – and we’re all very honoured to part of it. I’ve never actually been to Glastonbury so I’m going to lose my marbles.

We were quite surprised to see that you’re also heading to Ibiza and Mallorca Rocks…

Yeah, we are [Laughs] I forgot about that, you’ve completely reminded me. We’re playing with The 1975 and it will be interesting to see how it goes.

I forgot we were doing that, sorry, that’s made me laugh.

Is the clubbing season where we’d find you?

Yeah, Theo is a pro at clubbing. He has a degree in it, I think. We’re all just gonna go and take notes and watch them run around shouting YOLO with his top off properly. So, we can’t wait. I’ve always wanted to go to Ibiza… [Laughs] Should be really good!

You also start your UK tour in May, are there any plans to head overseas?

Definitely! We’re gonna take each continent by force over various parts of this year. The main focus is to see all our friends around the country and then once the album’s recorded and festivals are out of the way, there’s talk of different things.

We’re having a love affair with Australia at the moment and we’d certainly love to come over so fingers crossed.

By Charlotte Mellor

Hi Joel! How are you?

I’m very well, thank you.

Guy J Israeli DJ and producer, Guy J, has been making waves on John Digweed’s Bedrock Records as well as with his own sub-label, Lost & Found. Since producing at the tender age of 14, he has dedicated himself to his craft, releasing his first material at 21-years-old, the incredible ‘Save Me’ in 2007 and his debut album in 2008, titled ‘Esperanza’.

Prior to his upcoming set at Hole And Corner this June, we caught up with the man himself to talk legendary parties, ‘90s Trance and summer in Ibiza.

Where in the world are you right now?

Home, just back from a mini tour in the US. How did you get into music and who are some names that influenced you from a young age?

I got influenced by Trance music and Progressive in the late ‘90s. Progressive at that time was touched a lot by Trance music and I loved it.

How did growing up in Israel affect your taste in music?

Israel is very welcoming to Electronic music, so you could find it easily. A lot of DJs came every weekend and I got to hear them play and get influenced.

What is the music scene in Israel like?

Great! You can go out every day and hear any kind of music you like, there are interesting names coming every weekend. I love it!

You’re known as a leader in the underground Dance scene. How does it feel to be so established in your field?

I’m lucky and appreciate where I am now and it makes me work harder to keep delivering good music to the crowd and to my gigs.

What was the recording experience like when it came to your full-length ‘Esperanza’?

I loved it; it was challenging to do the first artist album and to find a way to express myself. I’m looking forward to doing another artist album.

You’re signed to John Digweed’s label, Bedrock. Can you tell us a bit about how you were picked up by them?

My manager at the time sent them my music and we got a positive reaction and I kept sending more and more. I finally got some comments from the man himself and learned from it.

How would you say your production and beats are different from other DJs? It’s hard for me to say; I try to make my music as honest as I can to my feelings. I think this is what you want to achieve as a musician and I’m working on it every time.

I’ve worked on a lot of music since my last visit to Australia so there is a lot of new music I’m looking forward to playing on my tour! That will also include some upcoming music from my label Lost & Found too.

It’s a pretty great line-up. Who are you looking forward to seeing play whilst you’re there?

I’ll try to catch everyone as there are some great musicians on the line-up. I’m also excited to meet them and hear what they’re up to.

You have a crazy schedule that allows you to travel all over the world. What is your favourite country to travel to and why?

There are a lot of places I love to go: Australia, Argentina, America… it’s hard to pick one over the other gigs-wise! I have to mention, though, that Argentina is quite mental!

What are your plans for the summer and where can your fans catch you?

I’ll be back in Ibiza this year for Carl Cox’s night at Space, and I’m going to Argentina in July as well as some other cities around Europe.

As you’re always travelling, do you ever find time to enjoy countries when you’re touring?

What’s your favourite thing to do abroad?

Sometimes I have time and if it’s more far off destinations, I spend a bit of time to recover from the travel. I love walking around, taking pictures, trying to find what’s going on where I am and how things work. Every place is different and there is always something to learn.

Coffee or cigarettes, both or neither?

Coffee, no cigarettes at all for me.

“ULTRA FESTIVAL WAS ONE OF THOSE INSPIRING GIGS”

What has been your most memorable live performance to date?

I’ve had some great gigs that I’ll always remember.

Argentina has a lot to offer and my last visit there for Ultra Festival was one of those inspiring gigs.

You’re coming to Australia in June for Hole And Corner. What can we expect from your set?

Let’s get to know Guy J a little better…

Summer time in Ibiza or clubbing in Berlin?

Summer in Ibiza, just because I love the summer.

Greasy burger or chicken salad?

Vegetarian [grins] Cold bottle of beer or a dirty Martini?

Beer it is.

Catch Guy J alongside Hot Chip DJs, Henry Saiz Live, Matthew Dear, Cosmin TRG, Xosar Live at HOLEANDCORNER 7th & 8th June in Sydney and Melbourne visit holeandcorner.com.au for more info.

By Alana Anderson

Hi Guy. How are you?

Very good.

www.bbmlive.com 33

MUSIC NEWS Dead Rabbits

If you’re a fan of The Jesus & Mary Chain, listen up!

Southampton-based quintet, Dead Rabbits, brought to you by Fuzz Club Records, are reviving the 90s with their brand of shoegazing psychedelic Rock.

Singer Thomas Hayes’ drawling and nasal delivery emerges from the reverb-drenched songs led

by Neil Atkinson Jr’s scratching, noisy guitar sound.

2013 saw the band release their debut album ‘The Ticket That Exploded’, a fitting reference to William S. Burroughs’ anarchic novel of the same name. After touring all over Europe and the UK, including support slots with the likes of Band of Skulls and Yuck, Dead Rabbits are already back with a brand new album.

Ones To Watch

And ‘TimeIsYourOnlyEnemy’ is everything you’d want a sophomore record to be. It is essentially a follow-up in that their distinctive sound is still there, but the songs are slicker, the tunes catchier and the performances more assured.

The band claims influence both from The Beatles and My Bloody Valentine, and they’ve taken the best of those two worlds, effectively crafting a unique brand of catchy Noise Pop. Such a well-executed effort cannot go unnoticed, and it won’t. Expect to hear a lot more about Dead Rabbit in the coming months. 2014 is their year. ‘TimeIsYourOnlyEnemy’ is out now on Fuzz Club Records.

Festival To Watch:

Fiona Bevan

So, yes, Fiona Bevan co-wrote a song with Ed Sheeran that One Direction made their own and took to the top of the charts in 2012, but don’t let that overwhelm you. It’s called ‘Little Things’ and it’s only one of the many great songs she’s written.

‘Rebel Without A Cause’, which she wrote after the London riots in 2011, starts off with a simple riff on an acoustic guitar a la Jack Johnson, but once Bevan’s voice comes in, it’s an altogether different affair that suggests the effortless singing of Kate Bush. Light piano touches and a groovy bass spice up the song throughout. As with everything she’s done, the hooks are numerous, the melodies infectious and her voice otherworldly.

Fiona Bevan grew up listening to Doris Day and Cole Porter, and she was 15 when she heard The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix for the first time. “I’ve made all sorts of music in the past”, she says, “but I’ve always known how I should sound.” Her debut album ‘Talk To Strangers’, on which she plays guitar, double bass, violin, accordion and harp, is set for release on 28th April via Navigator Records. As if there wasn’t enough talent on board, the album was mastered by George Horn, who has worked with the likes of Bob Dylan, Sly & The Family Stone and John Coltrane among many others.

There are elements of Folk, Soul and Pop in Bevan’s music, but she really is beyond categorisation, a sort of modern-day Joni Mitchell if you will.

34 www.bbmlive.com

Looking for an extraordinary festival? Look no further! The sixth edition of SunSplash Festival will take place for the first time on Aspat Beach, in southwestern Turkey, from Sunday 1st June to Sunday 8th June.

SunSplash founder Serkan Cetin says: “Our new venue takes us back to nature, a picturesque creek shaded by giant eucalyptus trees, a truly breathtaking bay with a fantastic beach and all overlooked by the spiritual presence of Aspat Mount, our music mountain!”

William Adamson and Mark de Clive-Low have just been added to a lineup that already includes Zara McFarlane, Osunlade, Gilles Peterson and Karizma among many others. In addition to the music and the stunning views, the festival also offers daily workshops, talks, yoga and wind sports.

The Week pass costs $285 while a Day pass varies between $45 and $65.

Return flights from the UK are currently priced from $270 if you’re swinging

by Blighty.

CONFIRMED LINE-UP SO FAR: Zara McFarlane // Osunlade // Gilles Peterson // Karizma // William Adamson // Phil Asher // Mark de Clive-Lowe // Rainer Trueby // Patrick Forge // Alex Attias // Kev Beadle // Mighty Zaf // Ruben Estevez // Ahu // Kaan Duzarat // djsoulprovyder // Cegiz Ulusahin // Ertan Kurt / / YEK // Manasseh WHAT: SunSplash Festival WHERE: Aspat Beach, Bodrum, Turkey WHEN: Sunday 1st June – Sunday 8th June More info: sunsplash-festival.com

We Are Noize ‘Dollar Flick’

The Prodigy fans, pay attention! While there is still no information on when the band’s sixth album ‘How To Steal A Jet Fighter’ will be released, Maxim Reality is fronting a brand new project called We Are Noize.

Their debut single ‘Dollar Flick’ on Monday 12th May. We Are Noize is certainly different from The Prodigy, it is limitless Trap music while being unique, head banging and experimental.

We Are Noize have one rule: there are no rules. Their aim is to “create music outside the norm, without limits or boundaries”. With enough bass to make your entire room shake, ‘Dollar Flick’ is a Trap anthem filled with hilariously accurate lyrics, particularly suggesting for you to “shake that ass”.

The single is fun, bouncy and something you imagine Miley Cyrus would practice her twerk routine to in her bedroom. It certainly stands out as a Dance song with extreme bass that will undoubtedly have clubbers jumping this summer.

Stanton Warriors ‘Loving Me Wrong’

Stanton Warriors have not slowed down since their multiaward winning compilation “The Stanton Sessions” way back in 2001. Their latest track, ‘Loving Me Wrong’ further endorses their reputation for their evolving and inimitable sound.

The Bristol duo consisting of Dominic Butler and Mark Yardley have been awarded several reputable titles, including being branded in the Top 50 of the Best Remixers of all time.

‘Loving Me Wrong’ is the song that puts everything the fans love into one track. It has clear Deep House and Garage influences to create the deep sound they have. The track also proves the Warriors’ ability to perfect Garage beats, making ‘Loving Me Wrong’ a Dancefloor essential.

Incorporating exclusive original tracks mixed with homemade edits and remixes of cutting edge sounds from underground House music, the duo remain unrivalled in their genre.

Duck Sauce ‘NRG’

Top Podcasts, Radio & Sets

House duo Duck Sauce are back. After the success of their 2010 hit ‘Barbara Streisand’, A-Trak and Armand Van Helden have released their new single entitled ‘NRG’ out on 29th June. The single, which will be part of their full-length album, is just as catchy as anything Duck Sauce are renowned for. Along with their international success and string of infectious hits, the Ducks are back and ready to Quack.

Double J - Dig Music With

Certainly not forgetting to include their reputable sense of humour, ‘NRG’ is reminiscent of something you may hear in an 80s aerobic class – dancey, fun and upbeat. Modernized with drums and electric guitar, the single is brimming with Synth-Pop. Sampling Melissa Manchester’s 1985 single ‘Energy’,

Tune in on the first of every month for the very best of new Indie music. The Line of Best Fit have made their name as one of the most reliable Indie music magazines in the UK so it’s no surprise that this podcast presented by Emily Mules is one of the very best out there.

Available on iTunes.

Duck Sauce have accompanied the single with a hilarious music video – think overly enthusiastic American infomercial meets Requiem For A Dream.

EP Review

The Kooks ‘Down’

It’s been three long years since we’ve heard a new release from The Kooks, and they’ve undeniably been missed. Fans of the Brighton quartet have been awaiting new material from the boys behind some of our Indie favourites, notably ‘Naïve’ and ‘She Moves In Her Own Way’ only to be presented with a completely different sound. The ‘Down’ EP explores a brand new direction for The Kooks – a soulful, Hip-Hop inspired 4-track infectious breath of fresh air.

The EP begins with single ‘Down’, a new groove-infused direction that surprisingly works for a band known for their Indie anthems. Having worked with Hip-Hop producer Inflo on the single, ‘Down’ is an energetically catchy opener for the award-winning band. Of the new approach, singer and guitarist Luke Pritchard said, “With this record we didn’t do any rehearsing beforehand… I’d write a song with [Hip-Hop producer] Inflo or on my own, put it up and we’d all play over it. There was a real freedom to the process.”

The second track ‘Hooray For Henry’ distinctly resembles a Rolling Stone classic brimming with authentic guitar riffs. The eclectic differences between the first two tracks certainly prove that The Kooks can produce a fine variety of sounds, showcasing several genres throughout the EP. On ‘Hold On’ the soul and funk inspired melodies make for a Motown inspired pop classic, laced with Pritchard’s harmonious and sultry delivery while intertwining percussion weaves throughout. The final song ‘Melody Maker’ is reminiscent of The Kooks earlier trademark sound. Acoustic strings and echoing vocals close the EP, an experimental delight that has welcomed The Kooks back with open arms.

Discover great music with the many guests featured on this program. Previous guests have included Mick Harvey, Sarah Blasko and Franz Ferdinand. Be prepared for anything as they take you through some of their favourite songs under a theme, from ‘Concept albums’ to ‘Redefining pop’ and ‘All groove’. Note Double J was known as Dig Music before 30th April.

Listen or re-listen here: digmusic.net.au/programs/dig-music-with

The Line of Best Fit - Podcast

Justin Moorhouse - About 30 Minutes No More Than 45 This is not your regular comedy podcast. Justin Moorhouse records himself on his iPhone as he walks around town, goes to the bar with his mates or drives his car. He gives his thoughts on just about everything, always honestly and with a good dose of humour.

Available on iTunes.

Gimme Indie This digital radio station based in Stockholm features some of the best new Indie Rock and Pop music. And it’s music only, no ads, no interruptions, only Indie gold 24/7.

Listen on www.gimmeindie.se.

Also available on Tunein and iTunes.

GIMMETINNITUS - Tracks of the Week So, they do miss a few weeks now and then, but the quality is so high you can forgive them.

Whatever is in the mix, you’re almost certain to find something you’ll like. Experimental, Noise, Rock, Electronic and Hip-Hop music are all featured.

Follow GIMMETINNITUS on SoundCloud.

Jehnny Beth Radio Show - Pop Noire Radio ‘If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start.’ This is the very serious, sombre introduction to Savages’ singer Jehnny Beth’s radio show. Both classics and new music are aired, and if you’ve heard Savages, you know you certainly can trust her when it comes to music tastes.

Listen on SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/pop-noire-radio

By Emily Schofield, Brice Detruche & Alana Anderson

Single Reviews

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MUSIC NEWS

Album Reviews

Little Dragon - Nabuma Rubberband Obviously, Little Dragon have never been a funny Pop band. Remember, they’re responsible for bringing you a song called ‘Blinking Pigs’, and there was nothing mildly amusing about it.

‘Nabuma Rubberband’ is their first album in three years, and while it continues the unique brand of Indie Synth Pop they are known for, it does come with a few twists.

Album opener ‘Mirror’ starts off slowly with hypnotic beats and two simple keyboard notes.

Before you know it, the drums kick in and you’ll find yourself bobbing your head and tapping your feet in rhythm. You have probably already heard ‘Klapp Klapp’: it’s prime upbeat Little Dragon, somewhere between Jazz and Electronica. The chorus is as addictive as it gets, and Yukimi Nagano’s voice is gripping. Talking about the album, Nagano admitted the influence of Janet Jackson’s “slow stuff”. ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ is indeed mostly made up of slow-burning songs, but it also sounds very bleak and cold. On ‘Cat Rider’, the music has an industrial feel to it and the menacing strings in the background only augment its sombre texture.

“Oh my God, it’s green the fire, go!” says an exasperated French car driver in the intro to ‘Paris’. It is one of the very few light moments in the album. The song itself is one of Little Dragon’s most overtly Prince-inspired numbers. The title track, however, starts off suggesting Yukimi and co. have run amok, and turned to Techno music.

It is a frightening thought to have halfway through an album. Luckily for us, it soon turns into one of the most lavishly produced songs on the record, complete with strings.

For all its bleakness, ‘Nabuma Rubberband’ is also an album that exudes the kind of confidence you’d expect from a band that have mastered their sound so early on in their career. And while the juxtaposition of different moods and styles feels weird at times, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

In fact, the last thing we’d want from Little Dragon would be for them to be predictable and normal.

And between you and us, that’s nothing to worry about.

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Nick Mulvey - First Mind Nick Mulvey makes Folk music for all those who think they hate Folk music. (He has obviously worked really hard on making his debut album what it is. And it is a thrilling record, from start to finish.)

Mulvey wrote much of the music that would eventually become ‘First Mind’ whilst living in Dalston, London. There, he listened attentively to all the artists he’d always liked and made a point of thoroughly understanding their own songwriting techniques, by watching documentaries and reading loads of books. Among those musicians were such heavyweights as Paul Simon, Neil Young, Nick Drake, John Lennon and David Byrne.

Pretty good company if you ask us.To most people, ‘First Mind’ will sound like a sweet and honest Folk-Pop record. If you listen closely, though, you’ll find echoes of ‘Graceland’ in the rollicking rhythm of ‘Juramidam’ (which takes its name from a Brazilian spiritual ritual).

Nick Mulvey’s talent as a guitarist is undeniable and frankly impressive. On a song like ‘Ailsa Craig’, his fingers effortlessly move up and down the strings while recreating the bass-led and percussive style Gnawa musicians are known for.

This gives a hypnotic feel to the song (remember Gnawa is trance music), only further implemented by the haunting backing vocals. The influences on ‘First Mind’ are also lyrical, most notably on ‘Cucurucu’, a rewriting of DH Lawrence’s poem ‘Piano’. It is proof of Mulvey’s talent that some of the most gripping lyrics in the song are his own.

“My heart beats with a ceaseless longing of a yearning to belong”, he sings in a slightly Hip-Hop manner.

‘First Mind’ marks the emergence of a singular new talent. The singer-songwriter format has long been used and re-used, and ultimately worn out. With Nick Mulvey, though, inward-looking song writing hasn’t sounded this exciting in many, many years.

You can catch Nick Mulvey at this year’s Splendour In the Grass Festival alongside Lily Allen, Outkast, Two Door Cinema Club, Ben Howard, The 1975, London Grammar and Foster The People. Log on to www.splendourinthegrass. com.au for more details.

Alexis Taylor - Await Barbarians It’s been almost six years since Alexis Taylor dropped his debut album ‘Rubbed Out’.

‘Await Barbarians’ continues in the same downtempo style heard on ‘Rubbed Out’. Except it’s even more simple and personal. If you’ve ever wondered who’s behind the upbeat synth sounds of Hot Chip, you may find some answers in this new album. ‘Closer To The Elderly’ is particularly personal and straightforward. “The older I get, the closer I feel to the elderly”, he sings over a thumping spiralling synth loop.

The first words Taylor sings on the album are strangely familiar: “Last night I had the strangest dream”. Could this be a not-so-subtle reference to the famous anti-war song? The second to last song ‘Am I Not A Soldier?’ seems to suggest an underlying theme of war. ‘Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream’ was most notably covered by the late Pete Seeger, and elsewhere on the album Taylor also mentions Whitney Houston.

So, yes, ‘Await Barbarians’ (even the title sounds frighteningly dark) is steeped in feelings of grief and uncertainty. But rather than wallow in it, Taylor seems to embrace and accept it, and ‘Await Barbarians’ certainly has a cathartic feel for Hot Chip’s frontman. Musically, it is possibly the most minimalist thing he’s ever done. There are synths, obviously, some strings here and there, a gliding guitar, but most prominent is the piano, which is the number one instrument all along.

One particular highlight is ‘Dolly and Porter’ and its crackling vinyl sound. It’s a warm and soft love song, that moves toward jazz.

The most interesting track of the album is the penultimate ‘Am I Not A Soldier?’. This track features the same gliding guitar heard on the first song, but halfway through a hopping synth melody is added to the mix and it is delightful. “My name means defender, but I am no soldier”, he sings in what is one of the catchiest tunes on the whole record. ‘Without A Crutch (1)’ reprises ‘Without A Crutch (2)’ and effectively brings the album to a close in a nice circular way. Where ‘Rubbed Out’ was criticised for its confusing last third, ‘Await Barbarians’ is a much more focused effort that is consistently strong throughout.

Django Django - Late Night Tales Compilation Django Django are the latest band to have been invited to curate a prestigious Late Night Tales collection due for release on 9th May. Like many of the best British groups, Django Django met at art school, specifically Edinburgh College Of Art, before reconnecting in London. Django Django released their self-titled debut album on quirky French indie label Because in early 2012 to some acclaim, as we eagerly await their follow-up album, this compilation is a good way to keep up with what the band have been listening to.

Drummer Dave Maclean says of the compilation, “We wanted to produce a mix that represented the band. It’s what we’re all into, so everyone put forward suggestions. It’s what we are as a band; and we’re kids that have grown up with an obsession about our mum and dad’s record collections, like ‘50s and 60s stuff and then got into hip hop and dance music as we grew up. At the heart of it all is our parents’ collections, with our tastes mixed in. Our Late Night Tales pays homage to that.”

As you’d expect then, this is an extremely eclectic compilation. Most importantly, though, it feels like a real album. Who knew a Leo Kottke song could flow so well into a Gulp song? There are some classics with The Beach Boys’ ‘Surf’s Up’ and Massive Attack’s ‘Man Next Door’, as well as more obscure music from the likes of Philip Glass and Ramadanman. It also includes an excellent cover of The Monkees’ ‘Porpoise Song’ by Django Django themselves.

Having put together 21 tracks for your listening pleasure, this is the perfect soundtrack for real music aficianados to keep their ears occupied with.

Pick Of The Promos From BBMLive.com’s Dance Music Radio Show

London based DJ Kiwi is set to have a busy year.

However, during his busy schedule, he’s found the time to remix The Klaxons hit ‘There Is No Other Time’.

Having received support from Andrew Weatherall, Daniel Avery and Erol Alkan, Kiwi is quickly making a name for himself on the DJ scene. Kiwi a.k.a Alex Warren has already played gigs all over Europe, including Ibiza, Athens, Paris and Techno heaven Berlin.

The lead single from the British band is a collaboration with production duo Gorgon City and is twisted in Kiwi’s style to produce an expert remix. You certainly forget you’re listening to a song once made by an Indie band as Kiwi intertwines heavy bass beats throughout vocalist James Righton’s harmonies. The build-up half way through the song is precise and demonstrates Kiwi’s ability to produce a memorable rhythm that’s hard to ignore.

Jakwob ft. Tiffani Juno (GoldFFinch Remix) Somebody New London-based producer, DJ and multiinstrumentalist Jakwob has released his new single ‘Somebody New’ featuring Tiffani Juno.

Bound for success, the single is flawlessly produced and showcases Jakwob’s accomplished abilities as a young producer.

Having signed to one of the best independent labels, Digital Sondboy, 2014 is off to a good start for Jakwob a.k.a James Jacob.

‘Somebody New’ is dreamy, with expert vocals from Tiffani Juno. Her voice is ultimately flawless against the beat that features drifting piano and upbeat tempos. The track is bass-heavy but soft – a successful and soulful combination. ‘Somebody New’ speaks volumes for not only Jakwob, but Tiffani Juno. Their collaboration has produced a bouncing House track, which is bound to blowup. 2014 is destined to be a whirlwind year for Jakwob, and we can’t wait to see what’s in store.

Gorgon City ft. Laura Welsh Here For You English Electronic music production duo Gorgon City have teamed up with singer-songwriter Laura Welsh to bring you single ‘Here For You’. To be released on 16th June, the single mind-blowingly embodies Soul along with Gorgon City’s musical flare.

Having just finished an Australian tour supporting Rudimental, Gorgon City are best known for their single ‘Ready For Your Love’, which was released earlier this year. The single, which entered the UK Singles Chart at number four, saw 2014 go off with a bang for Gorgon City.

‘Here For You’ is a perfect combination of Laura Welsh’s goose-bump-inducing vocals and Gorgon City’s renowned Electro sound. Similarly to the track, the cover art embodies summer featuring a blonde bikini-clad girl in front of an ocean. Much like ‘Ready For Your Love’, ‘Here For You’ will easily achieve the same success with its seamless production and bass heavy tones.

By Brice Detruche & Alana Anderson

Klaxons (Kiwi Remix) There Is No Other Time

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FUNNY NEWS Pensioners Accused Of “Pulling Off” Porn Scam The golden rule for any man who forgets to delete his “history” folder before lending his laptop to his girlfriend is simple: “deny, deny, deny”.

It’s known as the Shaggy school of thought; if you say “it wasn’t me” often enough, eventually she’ll believe you. If not, just blame your best mate.

Lucky for Stockport pensioner Ron Hayward, he just might be married to the world’s most gullible woman, Ann, who is steadfastly refusing to pay a £200 bill for pay-per-view porn films the elderly couple claim were never ordered.

Virgin Media, on the other hand, say the films were “unquestionably” watched at the Haywards’ home. Not only that, the couple have previously disputed bills for adult films in 2009 and 2012 when they refused to pay bills for £190 and £500.

While the natural, somewhat stereotypical, conclusion for most people is that pervy Ron has been watching them behind his wife’s back, Ann is adamant it’s all just a technical hitch.

“We got a message coming up on the TV saying ‘channels unavailable’,” she explained.

“It worried me so I called up and the next day I was told I’d ordered more than £200 of films. I was in shock.

“I couldn’t believe it was happening again.

No-one else comes in here. There’s obviously something wrong with the technology.”

It sure sounds like a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes – and we suspect the first clue he’d discover would be a large amount of soiled Kleenex tissues behind the back of the sofa.

NYPD Cop A LoaD Of Bad Press

Ducking The Issue Of Payment

The New York Police Department’s attempt to “get down with the kids” by using Twitter to ask residents to send photos of them posing with an officer has backfired spectacularly.

Like most British people, whenever BBM has a grudge against someone, we generally moan about them to friends and family without actually confronting the person. Occasionally we’ll send them a turd through the post but that’s about it.

Instead of photos of policemen hugging grinning grannies, the Twitter account was inundated with hundreds of pictures of officers brutally bashing members of the public.

But we have to give ten out of ten for originality to a disgruntled worker in China, who got back at a former boss by sending over 1000 baby ducks to his home. And no, we’re not entirely sure what that’s supposed to achieve but he did it anyway.

The Twitter account of Occupy Wall Street fired the starting gun.

It uploaded a photo of an officer hitting a protester, with the caption: “NYPD… changing hearts and minds one baton at a time.”

Another tweet showed a man being dragged by a policeman, sarcastically adding: “Need a lift? The #NYPD’s got you! Free delivery.”

Other pictures included a man at a rally being kicked in the groin, a woman having her hair pulled and a dog being frisked - although it was later discovered that the dog was actually Lady Gaga.

Builder Chiu Xiang arranged for the 1130 live ducklings to be dropped in the home of his employer in a dispute over wages.

Xiang organised for a contact who runs a poultry business to drop the ducks off, telling him they would be paid for on delivery.

“It was all he deserved …

I hope the ducks drove him quackers,” said the clearly insane 60-year-old.

Not Seeing Jedi To Eye With Prison System It’s bad enough they were persecuted and killed at the end of the Clone Wars, now Jedi masters are being discriminated against in prison.

Apparently, four prisoners are planning to sue the UK prison service for refusing their application to practice their Jedi religion freely. Obi-Wan Kenobi would be turning in his grave – if he hadn’t turned into an unconvincing hologram after being struck down by Darth Vadar.

One of the inmates wrote an open letter from HMP Isis in South London decrying their treatment: “This is an example of the kind of intolerance and religious bigotry faced by members of our faith on a daily basis, both within the prison system and without.

“Jedis have been portrayed very negatively in the media ever since the tragic battle of Yavin IV, when Luke Skywalker and a group of left-wing militants targeted the Death Star in a terrorist attack, killing thousands of civilian personnel.”

A Virgin Media spokeswoman said: “These films were unquestionably watched by someone in the Haywards’ home.

The inmate requested his name to be omitted due to fear of “retaliation from the Dark Side” – otherwise known as the Conservative Party.

“We are happy to arrange a payment plan but have said they may want to find an alternative provider going forward.”

What sort of a sick, sick world do we live in when four harmless Jedi masters are locked up in prison, yet George Lucas is allowed to walk free despite the unspeakable acts of cruelty he perpetrated on fans of Indiana Jones and the original Star Wars trilogy.

Ron, meanwhile, was strangely silent on the matter. In fact, midway through the interview, he went to the toilet for half an hour and came out yawning, looking slightly distracted and with a mayonnaise coloured stain on his trousers.

38 www.bbmlive.com

According to the 2012 census, the Jedi faith is the UK’s seventh most-popular religion, yet the National Offender Management Service (NOMS) does not include it among the 18 faiths it recognises.

Disgusting, did all those Ewoks die for nothing?

A total of 176,632 people listed themselves as Jedi in the 2011 UK census, placing the religion just behind Judaism and Buddhism as the seventh-most-popular British religion. If their appeal is rejected, it’s understood the four Jedi inmates will be thrown into a pit and forced to battle a rancor.

Celebrity Tweets Here we help translate the literary treats published by the wonderful celebrities that grace the Twittersphere with their presence... @taylorswift13 “Bare feet in the sand on a Saturday.”

ALERT: Come one, come all, then everyone together, other fellow foot fetishers!

Celebrity Happenings Liam Gallagher Who knew five letters could inspire such suspicion. Apparently OASIS being spelled out on Twitter caused Twitter meltdown and fans to lose their bets. Look what you did to the betting industry, you selfish arse.

Justin Bieber Following on from his mess at the Anne Frank museum, Bieber continues to show us that an educated mind is a useless mind. He has now offended fans with his disrespectful Tweet about the Yasukuni shrine in Japan. We’re Beliebers forever!

@channingtatum

Nicki Minaj

“What better way to start writing #MagicMike2 than with my old friend Dallas? #runatribe.”

She’s swapped her coloured hair for natural and is trying to step away from her past image. Everything is natural about this girl, her arse, her tits and her body overall. Move over rap industry, Nicki is trying to distract everyone from her shit rapping and weird accent.

What better way to make men the world over seem inadequate than with your equally ripped friend, Matthew McConnaughey.

@justinbieber “Love Japan”

Yes. We all heard about THAT shrine incident, a bit like THAT museum in Amsterdam.

@selenagomez “Extra whip cream please! Dessert before dinner. Duh.” Thank you for the image, we can’t wait to start licking it off. Duh.

@AmandaSeyfried “I vow to never again tweet a screenshot of a text conversation.”

I vow to never again stalk Amanda Seyfried.

Kim Kardashian Speaking of those with fat arses...she’s a little woman with big dreams and one of them is to get married in France to Kanye West. If only there wasn’t the issue of a 40 day residency in the country before marriage. We can just see her and Kanye now saying “Murky Boocoops”, twats.

Mariah Carey What do you do when you’ve finished grooming yourself? You follow in Mariah’s footsteps and take care of your eight pooches, spending a whopping £28,000 a year. What a resourceful way to use your money and benefit the world.

New Member Of The Family

“86 pancakes in 15 minutes.”

Here at BBM Towers, amusing stories about men having their cocks lopped off are the bread and butter of our news desk. Even on the quietest of news weeks, you can guarantee that somewhere out there, some poor bloke has been de-penised by a girlfriend with a grudge and a pair of scissors.

@SimonCowell

So it’s nice to do one with a happy ending for once, after a Mississippi man, who lost the majority of his penis in a botched circumcision, became a father after a total penis reconstruction.

@KendallJenner So that’s your super secret recipe to being slender?

We knew we were going wrong somewhere with the diet.

“Age is nothing but a number!”

Says the codger who’s just become a dad with a much younger married woman.

@tyrabanks “So U know when U are trying to tweet something but can’t get it under 140 characters so U type & erase & type & erase but get annoyed & give.”

To think after all of that, this is what you gave us.

Thanks for the ingenuity.

@Caradelevingne “Pinch punch first of the month tehehehe bet you never heard that one before.”

What happens if you start by pinching cheeks then it’s followed by a punch in your face? Would you shut up?

Since the ill-fated snip, Mike Moore has had three failed operations to reconstruct his member before he found success in 2007.

Plastic Surgeon Gordon Lee created Moore’s bionic penis using muscle tissue from his thigh, allowing him to have a baby boy with his second wife Heather.

But things took a tragic turn after the birth, as the couple have named their son “Memphis”. Poor little bastard.

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SPORTS NEWS Long Road To Rio, Short Trip Back To England Andy Carroll or Rickie Lambert? The question of who will help spearhead England to World Cup glory is just one of many which underline the size of the task facing Roy Hodgson as he picks a squad from a wealth of riches not seen since the days when Carlton Palmer and Tony Dorigo were England regulars.

Hodgson will reveal the 23-man England squad, with seven more players on stand-by, on 12th May – just in time for Jack Wilshere to break his ankle in the FA Cup final five days later.

But maybe we’re being a bit negative. According to Gunners boss Arsene Wenger, Wilshere – who seems to pick up an injury just by looking at the word “Stoke” on a fixture list – will be a “positive surprise” for England by the time they square up against Italy on 14th June.

“I spoke to Roy Hodgson and I told him that Wilshere will be available for England. He will be just polished for England,” Wenger mumbled. “Jack can be the positive surprise.”

In other news, scientists have revealed that a minor tremor that hit the Italian city of Turin last month was caused by Andrea Pirlo quaking in his boots.

Still, there’s at least one man who fully believes England can win the tournament – Hodgson. And when we say, “fully believes”, we mean he thinks that, mathematically, it’s still a possibility – if we’re lucky.

Asked whether England will go to the World Cup to win it, he said: “Yes, I would say that - without claiming that we will win it. If the players can access their top performances and we have some luck, we can win it.”

Best stick your money on England now before the odds tumble after that Churchillian-style inspirational speech.

Gunners On Target For FA Cup If you’re reading this, chances are you weren’t born the last time Arsenal won a major piece of silverware. Back then, Adam Ant was top of the charts, Argentina had just invaded the Falklands, and Jimmy Saville was “fixing it” for scores of “lucky” youngsters up and down Britain.

OK, maybe it wasn’t that long ago, but if you’re a regular BBM reader, then chances are you at least have the mental age of someone who wasn’t born the last time Arsenal won a trophy that didn’t have the words “Longest Serving Manager” engraved on the side.

But what’s this? Could it be true? Have Arsenal really been given the cupequivalent of an open goal after being pitted against Hull in this year’s FA Cup final on 17th May? Well considering how much effort it took for them to see off Championship team Wigan in the semi-final, we perhaps wouldn’t take victory for granted, but considering they’ve already beaten Hull twice this season – including a 3-0 away spanking last month – we don’t think Mrs Doubtfire’s team of would-be tigers will be too troubling for Arsene Wenger’s touring shop window of talented youngsters. Especially as Hull will be without two of their main strikers - Nikica Jelavic and Shane Long, who are both cup-tied.

“We have got through to the cup final without them,” said Mrs Doubtfire (AKA Steve Bruce). “There is no doubt that they gave us something extra at the top end of the pitch so we will have to find a way to work without them.”

Meanwhile, Wenger is truly getting into the cup spirit by issuing the traditional “the cup is different to the league” cry beloved of obvious-statement-making top four managers for the last two decades.

“The Cup final is a completely different game,” Wenger parroted while dusting off Arsenal’s trophy cabinet.

The Origin Of Traditions Like Christmas, Easter and ANZAC Day, Queensland’s thrashing of NSW in the State of Origin series has become something of an annual tradition in Australia.

But whereas St Patrick’s Day and Chinese New Year are celebrated with parades through state capitals across the country, Origin is celebrated with a parade of Queensland players marching relentlessly towards the try line at Suncorp Stadium while open-mouthed Blues players flail about haplessly around them.

And it seems NSW coach Laurie Daley is getting into the spirit after starting proceedings with the annual cry of “we will do our best this year”, a tradition first started way back in 2006 by former Cowboys coach, Graham Murray.

“Don’t lose faith and be comfortable knowing we will be very well prepared and will give it our very best again,” Daley said to polite applause and muffled laughter.

“I think most people — I wouldn’t say they’ve admired — but have respected what we’ve done over the past couple of years. For us, the challenge is to keep earning that respect.

“But everyone knows Origin is different and it’s a tough game. We just have to strive continually to be better than last year. It takes a lot of hard work and we need everyone’s support.

“We will come out the other side. Sometimes it mightn’t happen as quickly as you want it to happen.”

Considering two of the three games are in Brisbane this year, we can’t see it happening for the Blues for at least another year.

Until then, it’s going to be just like another annual event: Groundhog Day. Only without the laughs and the happy ending.

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French Resistance To A Big Fat Joke Lord knows the French are a sensitive bunch. Whether it’s Eric Cantona overreacting to a harmless comment from a Crystal Palace fan, or the French president responding to the UK and USA invading foreign countries under false pretences, they simply love an excuse to get dramatic.

So you’d think Burger King would be a bit more switched on than to try and milk some publicity out of a French player who is known for (how do we put this politely?) being a fat bastard.

Marseille striker Andre-Pierre Gignac, one of the leading scorers in Ligue 1, is known for his “stocky” physique, with many supporters affectionately mocking his size by singing “A Big Mac for Gignac” in the stands.

So Burger King thought they were being hilarious when they opted to include his name to front their new Whopper burger promotion, changing the song to “a Whopper for Gignac”. Not only does it not work as a joke, or rhyme, it’s also pissed off the big-boned striker so much that he’s threatening to sue. Imagine how many KFC family buckets he’ll buy if he wins.

It’s not the first time the porky poacher has hit headlines.

In 2011, it was reported former manager Didier Deschamps sent Gignac to a week-long weight-loss programme in Italy as he was unhappy with the frontman’s size. Apparently his excuse of “it’s me thyroids” just didn’t cut it.

Strangely,

for a whale, he’s actually quite prolific. The 28-year-old has scored 35 times in just over 100 games since signing for Marseille in 2010 and has been capped 17 times by his country. Last summer, he was even a reported target for Newcastle – one of the few European cities where he would be considered “dangerously underweight” compared to the local population.

Impressionist Booked For Club

In one of the more bizarre bookings we’ve come across, a Swedish footballer was shown a yellow card last month for doing an impression.

Well OK, that’s not technically true. He actually got booked for tucking the ball under his shirt as it bounced up in front of him from a chip-pass – but to BBM’s eyes, it made him a dead ringer for big, fat Sam Allardyce.

Midfielder Jan Gunnar Solli, who plays for Swedish club Hammarby, attempted the mad move with his team leading 5-0 against Degerfors. We’re not sure what his plan was. Maybe he thought if he looked pregnant, the opposition would be too afraid to tackle him and he could simply walk the ball into the net. Or maybe, with the match already in the bag, he was just being a cocky knobsack.

Anyway, the showboating fool was immediately booked by the referee and then copped a mouthful from a pissed-off Degerfors player.

It’s not the weirdest booking we’ve seen though. Who can forget Zaire’s Mwepu Ilunga’s yellow card in a match against Brazil in the 1974 World Cup? While waiting to defend a free-kick in a dangerous position, Ilunga came up with a unique plan for dismissing the danger – charging out of the wall and booting the ball to kingdom come before it had even been touched by the bemused Brazil players.

Paul Gascoigne was famously booked for jokingly showing referee Dougie Smith a yellow card after the official had dropped them on the pitch. And Joey Barton has gone in the referee’s notebook several times purely for being an immense arsehole.

C h i n a At T h e D o u b l e I n C r u c i b l e Q u e s t So far, that dream has always been denied, with World Snooker arguing that the Crucible in Sheffield is, and always will be, the home of the game. You’d think that’d be the end of the matter, but those crazy Chinese bastards have come up with a loophole to get around this little inconvenience – by building an exact replica of The Crucible on the outskirts of Beijing. Now if they just create two shit football clubs and get Pulp to play at the opening, it’ll be just like a mini-Sheffield. Seems only fair considering how many China towns there are in major cities across the world, at least this way the Chinese have a suburb to go to for authentic Yorkshire puddings and knock-off DVDs of the Full Monty.

“They’ve built a replica of the Crucible just outside Beijing in this amazing leisure resort. They say: ‘Why can’t we have the World Championship here?

It’s still the Crucible’,” said Barry Hearn, chairman of World Snooker.

“It just shows you there are no lengths to which the Chinese people won’t go to actually having the best on their own doorstep. They’ve copied the Crucible and, if anything, it might be slightly better!”

Nonetheless, Hearn said there was far more to it than that, saying that on his watch the World Championship would always be held in Sheffield and that the sport would always remain uninspiring and dull.

“You don’t move Wimbledon and you don’t move the Crucible,” he said while doffing his flat cap and tying his whippet to the bar. “As a traditionalist, I don’t want to see any changes to that.”

By Richard Gadsby, Images by Clement Bucco-Lechat, Special Windler, Wonker.

For quite some time now, the Chinese have been hooked on the adrenaline-fuelled thrill-fest that is professional snooker. In fact, the sport has caught on so much that the snooker-loopy nation has been trying to convince the game’s governing body to hold the World Championship in Beijing.

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CRYSTAL BALLS

Horoscopes CAPRICORN

SCORPIO

It’s May and you’re still eating Easter eggs. No wonder Capricorn is the sign of the goat, you’ll eat anything you fat git.

A You turn into one of those annoying buggers who writes #justsayin at the end of all their tweets. Not only is it annoying, it’s also just a thinly-veiled cover-up for the fact you’re actually a very insecure person who feels the need for validation by desperately trying to make people laugh or by criticising others. In other words, you’d be an ideal writer for BBM. #justsayin

GEMINI You finally start work on the novel you’ve been wanting to write. Here are the opening few lines: “Something was wrong, Robert could feel it in his gut. Maybe he needed a poo. Maybe that would help.” It’s gripping stuff.

Here’s another extract: “Roger pulled down his trousers, sat on the toilet and squeezed. As black as shadow and just as soft, the turd eased itself out of his anus and landed with a ‘plshh’ into the watery depths below.” It doesn’t help that you do most of your writing in the bathroom.

PISCES <This horoscope is subscription only> For full access to advice from Crystal Balls, up-to-the-minute horoscopes, Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel, contact your nearest BBM service provider. Basic packages start at $110 a month.

AQUARIUS After quitting your job six months ago to chase your dream of becoming an actor, you finally get your breakthrough role in a Coles ad as one of the shoppers singing “down, down, prices are down” while wearing a big foam red hand. Stardom beckons.

SAGITARRIUS One night when you were a small child, you discovered that by closing your eyes and lying down in bed, you could enter a state of unconsciousness which creates strange visions in your mind for several hours and leaves you feeling refreshed and renewed the following day. To this day you’ve always felt different to everyone else, an outcast with a secret, but this week you accidentally discover one of your flatmates doing exactly the same thing on the couch at home. Amazing! This must be how Wolverine and Magneto felt when they discovered there were other mutants out there just like them.

LIBRA Spolier alert! As a big Game of Thrones fan, you are shocked by yet another big plot twist this month when Tywin Lannister is killed by 80s comedy duo Tommy Cannon and Bobby Ball (AKA Cannon and Ball). Meanwhile, across the narrow sea, Hale and Pace plot to steal Daenerys Targaryen’s dragons.

TAURUS Warning: you have exceeded your monthly horoscope usage and will be charged a flat rate of $10 a word for each additional horoscope you read from now until the end of your monthly BBM contract cycle. If you would like to read more horoscopes, please contact your BBM service provider to discuss a new deal, or simply purchase one of our booster packages for $10 to temporarily increase your horoscope allowance by up to two gigabytes.

Failure to do so could lead to a nasty shock when your monthly bill arrives.

VIRGO I’m not doing your horoscope until you give me that tenner you owe me.

CANCER Your friends Jerry, George and Elaine patronize a new soup stand Kramer has been praising. Its owner is referred to as the “Soup Nazi,” due to his temperament and insistence on a strict manner of behaviour while purchasing an order.

On The Tube

ARIES An emotional goodbye turns to tragedy when your girlfriend tries to wave to you out of a train window just before it enters a narrow tunnel. Her arms are sheered clean off and she dies in hospital that night. In your grief-stricken state, you demand the doctors surgically attach her arms to your midriff. The procedure works and you write a novel about the whole incident - ironically using your dead girlfriend’s arms. The novel “Arm in Arm with My Beloved” is a smash hit, and becomes a film with the tagline “She stole his heart, so he took her arms”. Stars Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone.

LEO Leos are the lions of the zodiac, the majestic kings of the jungle.

Unfortunately, you’re more like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz, nervously pawing at your bushy tail and asking people to “puddum up, puddum up” only to let out a girlish shriek and flee at the first sign of violence. The only king of the jungle you resemble is Joe Pasquale.

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Sex Fail - In The Doghouse In the world of sex and animalistic behaviour there’s such a thing as dominating and there’s also something called flopping. Thankfully, this fella knows how to keep it up, if only he knew how to find the hole and score the goal.

Watch it now at http://bit.ly/1mR2VrY

CRYSTAL BALLS

Ask Crystal Dear Crystal, I met a girl at Luna Park recently, we were both a bit drunk and, long story short, what’s the best way to get chewing gum out of my pubes? Ideally I don’t want to shave them off but I’ve already ruined three pairs of boxer shorts.

Sincerely, Jimmy Dear Jimmy, I’ve had all sorts stuck in my pubes over the years - from Worcestershire sauce to Calvin Phillips: the world’s smallest man – but chewing gum is a real bitch to get out. I should know because Alex Ferguson used to go down on me in the Old Trafford dressing room after every match. Happy days. Basically, if shaving isn’t possible, the only other option is to hire Calvin Phillips to sort it out.

It’s a bit like an explicit version of the 80s film Inner Space, but instead of Dennis Quaid being shrunk in size and injected into someone’s body, it’s a weird-faced dwarf foraging through your nether regions. I’ve hired him quite a few times. He’s always desperate for

cash in between publicity events for the Guinness Book of Records.

Dear Crystal, I’m from Ireland and I’ve been seeing an Aussie lad for the last three years.

It’s gotten quite serious over time. He whisked me away to Bali last month and proposed at a romantic restaurant with a huge diamond ring. I said yes and we have a wedding planned for next February.

The thing is, I only started seeing him because I figured I could marry him for a visa if my 457 ran out – but I got my permanent residency last week and don’t need him as back-up any more. How do I get rid of him and get to keep the ring without seeming like a total bitch?

Faithfully, Sinead Dear Sinead, Funnily enough, the same thing happened to me with Tony Abbott in the 80s. He’s held a grudge against immigrants ever since. Think I dodged a bullet there.

Anyway, you can use the same trick I did, and claim that you fled your country to

get away from an arranged marriage with a man you despise, but that he’s caught up with you and it would bring great shame on your family not to go through with it.

Tell him you’ll keep the ring to remind you forever of the man you truly love.

Aussies are easily confused, especially when it comes to other cultures, so he won’t realise arranged marriages are more of an Indian thing than an Irish thing. Then you can just pop to cash converters and – ka-ching – a great new start to life as a permanent Australian resident.

Dear Crystal, I was just reading your advice from April, and it got me thinking: you always listen to everyone else’s problems, but no one asks how you are. So, how are you?

All the best, Denise Oh Denise, Stop wasting my time, you arse licker.

I’ve got my sister, Chandelier, to talk to, and my friends. I suggest you go find some yourself, you wet drip.

Send Your Jokes To: reporters@bbmlive.com There’s been some confusion since gay marriage was legalised in England and Wales. We’re here to clear it up, it’s like normal marriages but with blowjobs, anal fewer arguments about who left the toilet seat up. Leon, Richmond I went to Rome recently and the street begging was really awful. I was there for a fortnight and only got two euros. Sarah, Paddington When I asked my wife to pull my undies down, I expected a little more than her bringing the washing in. Bill, Kings Cross My American friend told me that if it wasn’t for their soldiers us Brits would be speaking German. I replied, “If it wasn’t for your teachers, you Yankees would be speaking English.” Derek, Cottesloe

When reality TV star Amy Childs was on Channel 4’s The Jump she made history by being the first girl from Essex to ever refuse to go down. Lenora, Fremantle

What’s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito knows how to suck.

Dan Surrey Hills

I asked my barber for a Justin Bieber haircut.

The fucking twat just shaved my pubes off. Jerry, Newcastle

What do wives and condoms have in common?

If they’re not on your dick then they’re in your wallet.

Harry, Darlinghurst

My least favourite sex position is called the Miley Cyrus. She wrecks my balls and tongues my ears.

Dave, Brunswick

How does a blonde turn on the light after sex? She opens the car door. Ryan, Bondi What do you call the space between Katie Price’s breasts? Silicone Valley. Phil, Manly When I wake up with a hard-on, I always pull it out and give it a tug or five to see where it leads.

Apparently this is frowned upon when waking up during a meeting. Jeff, Fitzroy

Why do women have two sets of lips? One set to bitch at you with and the other to apologise. Greg, Brisbane My mum: If a boy touches your boobs say ‘don’t’ and if he touches your pussy say ‘stop’. Me: But mum, he touched both so I said ‘don’t stop’.

Stephanie, Redfern My wife walked in on me doing her sister up the arse.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” She screamed.

“Err,checking her prostate?” Was probably not the best response… Nat, Scarborough I wouldn’t say it’s easy living with erectile dysfunction.

But it’s not hard. Charles, Surry Hills Fingered my wife like a bastard last night.

Phoned the police, told them she’d been shoplifting. Rufus, Coogee I pulled my cock out of this fat girl’s arse, then she turned over, spread her legs revealing her sweaty, hairy minge, and said, “Are you going to eat that?”

“Your pussy?” I asked, disgusted.

“No, that,” she replied, pointing at the sweetcorn on my knob. Emmet, Darlinghurst The BBC website describes “Who Do You Think You Are?” as: “Series in which celebrities trace their ancestry, discovering secrets and surprises from their past.”

I dare you, Prince Harry. I just dare you.

Will, Surry Hills “Knock Knock” “Who’s there?”

BANG BANG BANG BANG... “Oscar.”

Robert, St Kilda I read that Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter had a major falling-out in the 70s.

They almost went their separate ways, but decided to stay together for the kids. Russel, Paddington

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ADULT ENTERTAINMENT

Relax, Just Do It

Tinder Etiquette Being one of the biggest online dating platforms, we take a look at how you should be behaving when using Tinder. Here are some tips that will hopefully direct you away from committing online carnal sins.

Bruv, Dont make shortcuts with stupid gramar an spellin errors: Be honest with yourself, do you want the other person to sound like a dictionary falling down the stairs? It’s an easy turn off and can be left until you’re more familiar with each other (or just NEVER).

If you’ve been feeling tense of late, it’s no misconception that massage is one of the best ways to combat it, but with so many new therapies and spas popping up all over Australia, where do you go to find the most satisfying and rewarding? We’ve tracked down the best of the bunch, so you have one less thing to worry about!

Sydney Ka Huna

Let yourself relax at Sydney Ka Huna, as your therapist works every muscle with their hands and forearms, while flowing around the table effortlessly in hula movements. This is a Hawaiian massage experience like no other, with ancient traditions that honour the body as a temple. You can also enjoy the Heartworks Lomi Lomi, which is a slower, more meditative approach, with soothing and repetitive strokes. If your belief is two is better than one, you can opt for a 2-on-1 Ka Huna, where two therapists work simultaneously on your body with synchronised massage. Heaven on a massage table!

76 Oxford Street, Paddington www.sydneykahuna.com.au

Ripple Massage

There are two stand-out features of Ripple Massage that we fell for instantly. Firstly, they come to you, so you can enjoy luxurious day spa packages in the comfort of your home (no uncomfortable driving after being covered in body oil). Secondly, they have a range of packages that make it so difficult to choose from, you’ll be booking your next appointment in no time. For $110 for one hour, and $195 for two, you can experience the Frangipani Spa Package, complete with foot soak, mini facial, reflexology and massage; or the sensational Wicked Chocolate Massage, which involves rich chocolate oil poured over your body and hot-toweled off after. Receive a free gift box of soap and chocolates if you book two hours, and keep the relaxation going for longer.

East Coast, South Australia & Tasmania www.ripplemassage.com.au

Rainesforest Massage

An all-day spa experience with massage in the heart of the Australian rainforest might sound exclusive to celebrities and royalty, but at

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Brisbane’s Rainesforest Massage & Day Spa, you can receive such luxury. Your massage takes place within the surroundings of the tall trees and you can relax in the day spa and sauna after, whether you opt for the Essential Massage or Hot Stone Massage. Receive a cup of tea or coffee to unwind with on the relaxation deck and just enjoy taking some time away from reality.

16 Priory Street, Indooroopilly, Brisbane rainesforestmassage.com

Body Heat Relaxation Centres

If you fellas want to feel extra special with a lovely lady’s hands on you, Body Heat caters to gents with an aching for a deep massage. The stunning therapists wear lingerie or bikinis to please, pay extra attention to your pains and have different specialities from Swedish, Thai and Chinese. A 30-minute Mini Deluxe costs $120 with an out-ofthis-world experience, and a tip is extremely well received, but don’t request oral sex or intercourse, or you’ll be met with the door.

62 Gordon Road East, Osborne Park Perth www.bodyheatmassage.com.au

SaraDar Thai Massage & Art Gallery

Harmonise your mind, body and soul with a Thai massage by the Wat Po-trained therapists at SaraDar. While in good hands, you will experience a release from pain, tension and injury with rhythmic pressure and without the use of oils. Ask for attention to your feet with Foot Reflexology or request the Thai Remedial Massage for a combination of Thai and western techniques.

Not only are the guys here qualified, they’re also extremely friendly. When you’re fully relaxed, head into the gallery for authentic Thai paintings and ceramics, hand painted with history and culture in mind.

649 Burwood Road, Hawthorn East, Melbourne saradar.com.au

Multiple personality disorder: Try to portray yourself genuinely through all of your social media profiles. It’s understandable that LinkedIn will show the ‘professional’ side to you while Facebook portrays more of your casual self but try not to overdo it to extremes.

You want to keep the same voice and humour that mimics you in the real world.

Procrastination: Once you’ve got the ball rolling in email conversation and you know you like the other person try and get yourself out on that date. The point of online dating is to eventually date in reality. Nerves may be dominant but keep your mind on the potential first date butterflies.

Rancid rejection: It’s okay to feel slightly hurt when being rejected but remember the person didn’t actually know you that well and there are plenty of ripe cherries to pick. Sending a message saying ‘you’re butters anyway’ is not the way to cope with it, simply move on.

Selfie sellout: Pictures of your overly tanned and greased six pack or filtered pout with the camera covering half of your face may not be the best conversation starters. It’s more inviting when you’re doing things in your profile image, whether it’s horse-riding or drunkenly hugging the shit out of your best friends. Show some personality.

Uphold tradition: The best way to start conversation is by discussing your interests and going from there. Not only does it give you the chance to talk about similar things but it also allows you to get to know each other.

Remember all the things you discussed so you can continue your debate over which Austin Powers film really was the funniest.

Taken: When you have actually started dating and stepped into the world of relationships it’s recommended you delete your profile. If you want to keep it around for a rainy day (no cheating) then at least disable it to avoid the suspicious questions.

Above all else, don’t forget to enjoy yourself. If the chemistry isn’t there romantically it doesn’t mean you can’t be friends.

Promo Promotional work offers a friendly and flexible environment that keeps you busy and on your toes. Whether you’re handing out flyers on Bondi Beach or dishing out shots named after sex positions, working in Promo is a fun and rewarding job, as opposed to sitting in the office all day, you’ve got the perfect chance to travel, sightsee and live the perfect nightlife. There are plenty of places offering promotional work in Australia.

Some can be found through seek.com.au, and are great if you need the flexibility but also cater to longer-term positions. There’s always something happening at night, which means there will always be a need for promo girls and boys. Here are some of the best places to find promotional work in Australia.

Sydney

Sollarium Entertainment: They help throw some of the best party nights in Sydney and are always looking for delightful and charismatic people to join the promotional team. Positions available range from beach/street promotion, hostess/door girls and bar staff/waitresses. $20 per hour + commission and you can apply through www.sollarium.com.au.

Adelaide

STAR: Star is a creative and innovative agency of progression and opportunities in Adelaide with many options to choose from. Whether you want to be a star, an extra or part of the promotional team, there’s something for anybody who is creative and charming. The salary is between $70-74.99 per hour and for more information you can go to www.starecruitment.com.au.

Brisbane

Magic City: One of the hottest places to party is hiring right now. Magic City in Fortitude Valley, Brisbane has been graced by the likes of J Holiday and Marques Houston. To get onboard the party train you need to show that you know how to have a good night, for more information go to www.magiccity.me or message their Facebook page and get on with their fun list of requirements.

Perth

Gaston Management: Your pro-active lifestyle and engaging personality will be put to great use with Gaston Management. The company has been going strong for 24 years and provide services in all states of Australia. As a promo girl or guy you will be trained to assist clients with their briefs in order to deliver the perfect outcome. For more information and how to apply go to www.gastonmanagement.com.au.

Melbourne

Taipan Marketing: If you love having a laugh and have a great work ethic then this award winning company wants you. There’s opportunity for progression within the work place and it’s perfect for people that have past customer oriented experience. For more information head over to taipanmarketing.com.au Don’t forget promo work isn’t only for nights out and beach parties, you can promote charities and other organisations. An independent and international charity, ChildFund Australia, works to reduce poverty for children in the developing world. To find out how to get involved and promote the cause go to www.childfund.org. If you’re passionate about sales and promotions the above will help you find work and hopefully you’ll be able to save up for the next leg of your journey around Australia.

Tax Tip: Promotional work is a great option if you want to get the most out of your tax back from your travels. Make sure you keep your receipts for clothes, travel, and food, and any other work related expenses. These are all tax deductable! www.bbmlive.com/tax-advice

by Arti Rajput

If you don’t want to be held down when it comes to work you can always enter the world of promotional work. This way you can experience all the pleasures of life with a light dusting of work on the side.

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ADVERTISE HERE

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TRAVEL NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do in New Zealand

SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING

RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING SHOTOVER JET

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

GLACIER GUIDING FOX GLACIER GUIDING 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

RIVER BOARDING

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

ACCOMMODATION CHRISTCHURCH

CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS

BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

QUEENSTOWN

AUCKLAND

BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

WELLINGTON

NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Fiji ACCOMMODATION

THINGS TO DO

BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com

THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

SCUBA DIVING

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Things to do in Australia

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

SKYDIVING

A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

AUSSIE WANDERER PO Box 106, Bentley, Perth 6982 Ph:9438 2070 or 9314 2246 info@aussiewanderer.com.au www.aussiewanderer.com.au

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au

SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au

SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com

SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

GHOST TOURS LANTERN GHOST TOURS Melbourne & Goldcoast Ph: 1300 390 119 www.lanternghosttours.com enquiry@lanternghosttours.com Experience the multi award winning Lantern Ghost Tours, offering small group tours of Australia’s most haunted locations.

ADVENTURE TOURS

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.facebook.com/goinsouthtours TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 / 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au

KITE SURFING

KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

SURF SCHOOLS

MOJO SURF 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com

BLUE MOUNTAINS ADVENTURE COMPANY Ph: 02 4782 1271 bmac@bmac.com.au www.bmac.com.au

GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURF TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au

WAYOUTBACK AUSTRALIAN SAFARI Ph: 1300 551 510 / 08 8952 4324 reservations@wayoutback.com.au www.wayoutback.com.au

GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com

CAVERSHAM WILDLIFE PARK Whiteman Park, Whiteman, WA, 6068 Ph: 08 9248 1984 sales@cavershamwildlife.com.au www.cavershamwildlife.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com BUNYIP TOURS 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

BIKE RIDING TOURS

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

ZORB BALLS

OZ BALL GOLD COAST (TEMPORARILY CLOSED) Go Zorbing with Oz Ball.

Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.infomaps.com.au/attractions_listings/ozball

WINE AND BEER TOURS

PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

BOWLING

STRIKE BOWLING Nationwide Ph:1300 787453 www.strikebowling.com.au PADDO BOWLS 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02936 1150

TRANSPORT

MIGHTY CAMPERS Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au TRAVELLERS AUTOBARN Nationwide Ph: 1800 674 374 www.travellers-autobarn.com.au

PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION LISTINGS NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

WORLD SQUARE HOSTEL 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au OXFORD COURT ACCOMMODATION Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

WEST END BACKPACKERS 12 Pitt St Sydney NSW, 2000 Ph: 02 9211 4588 Free Phone: 1800 013 186 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.nomadsworld.com/westend BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au

PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au BIG HOSTEL Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’MALLEY’S HOTEL 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au THE ROYAL HOTEL 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au KANGA HOUSE BACKPACKERS 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES

SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES

CRONULLA BEACH YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au HUNTER VALLEY Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au BLUE MOUNTAINS BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 144 Bathhurst Road, Katoomba, NSW 2780 Ph: 02 4782 9630 www.bluemountainsbackpackerhostel.com.au

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BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

BASE BRISBANE UPTOWN 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 24 2273 uptown@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay BASE BRISBANE CENTRAL 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 brisbane@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au BRISBANE CITY YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

GOLDCOAST

TREKKERS BACKPACKERS 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au SURFERS PARADISE YHA AT MAIN BEACH Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE

40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com SURF N SUN Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RSRT Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS CAIRNS SHARE HOUSE 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

MISSION BEACH ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

WHITSUNDAYS BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH AIRLIE BEACH YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

CAPE TRIBULATION

PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

COTTESLOE

MONKEY MIA

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

PERTH

RAINBOW LODGE 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA ACCOMMODATION

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

BROOME

BEACHES OF BROOME 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA

REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

GREAT OCEAN ROAD

JOHANNA BEACH COTTAGES 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE

EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au BACK OF CHAPEL 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au

INDEPENDENT & BUDGET TRAVELER ACCOMMODATION PROVIDER Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall. com.au

ST. KILDA

ALICE SPRINGS

JACKSON APARTMENTS 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au HAVEN BACKPACKER RESORT 3 Larapinta Drive, Alice Springs Ph: 1800 79 4663 / 08 8952 4663 www.alicehaven.com.au

SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE

APOLLO BAY

APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au ECO BEACH YHA ECO-HOSTEL 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

HALLS GAP

GRAMPIANS YHA ECO-HOSTEL Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

NORTHERN TERRITORY

ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com ADELAIDE SHAKESPEARE INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

DARWIN

ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

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RECRUITMENT NEWS

Writing The Perfect CV

You may have the perfect outfit that doesn’t scream beach bum, but you’ve got to make sure you can get your foot in the door by writing the perfect CV.

First impressions are key so make sure you get it looking spot on. As a rule of thumb your CV should be no longer than two sides of A4 paper and for some applications, such as for creative jobs and part-time work, only one side will suffice. Be concise with your sentences and punchy with your statements. Employ detail only when it matters, for instance if you are wishing to highlight your success in a marketing role, mention website hits and improved sales figures. It is no use simply saying you generated more business – wow your potential employer with hard facts and numbers.

Make your CV easy to read by being thoughtful about your layout. This means avoiding clunky blocks of text and using bullet points to get your points of interest across in an eye-catching manner. Break it up with headings, different font sizes and bold text, but ensure you remain consistent and professional. This also includes dates, so stick with a format such as ‘February 2011’ or ‘02/11’. Don’t get too clever with it as you are aiming for definition, not points for artistic impression.

Put frankly, you want to create a unique CV, yet you also want it to quickly transcribe your talents.

Stick with an MSWord document than a PDF. That may sound like a given, but it becomes essential when applying online. When your CV is uploaded it is then parsed (each statement is reduced to

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a list of searchable keywords) by a database, so liberally throw in action words to make it easier for an employer or search engine to find you. This also means dropping the elaborate fonts and needless symbols.

Once you have a good idea of how your CV should look, you can start filling it. Only the truly egotistical enjoy talking about what makes them great, but for this you need to play the role. Start off by sitting down and consider what sets you apart from the crowd. What qualities do you possess, which ones are relevant to the job you are applying for and why would an employer want you to work for them? Write them down in a list and rank them.

Easy! Select four, maybe five key skills, and show how you applied them with detailed examples.

These do not necessarily have to be from work, you could have learnt teamwork from your midweek kickabout or oral communication from volunteering abroad.

Now you need to get the essentials down.

These are your personal details including your name (obviously), address, mobile and home telephone numbers because if your CV does catch someone’s eye they will want to get in touch.

With regard to email addresses; luckybunny69@ outlook.com probably tells more to your potential employer than they need to know. Get an email address that you can show to your mum without her cringing in embarrassment, simply your full name will do. If you are applying for a digital or marketing role then consider including links to your social media profile including LinkedIn and Twitter.

Lauren Riley from Bubble Jobs attests that keeping your CV simple is worthwhile; “The average recruiter will only spend around five seconds so it’s

vital that your CV is easy to read and gives them what they want.” For a tailored CV, just four lines would be useful to showcase key achievements that you want to make known as soon as possible.

Make it something that you are brimming with pride over, perhaps you created a viral meme or oversaw a hugely successful project.

Of course, you will want to show your potential employer that you are educated. Heck, you are probably STILL paying off that student loan. As a rule, list your qualifications starting with the most recent, which means focusing on your degree and outlining the modules and aspects that are most relevant to the role you are applying for. If there were projects that could be judged as bringing appropriate experience to a role then put them down. If your final year dissertation was on a subject that will feature highly in the role then put it down.

The same principle also applies for your employment history. List it with the most recent first then become detailed when you want to poke your employer with a key achievement you want noticed. Be lavish with your responsibilities as it gives the employer the impression you can grow into a role instead of being terrified by it.

Having the right credentials for a position is one thing, but having your key skills and experience noticed by an employer on your CV is quite another. Keep the format simple while ensuring that the information you want to get noticed can be spotted in the few seconds that your CV is looked at. Above all, make sure that your CV is a fair representation of the most important thing about any application: YOU.

By Omar Soliman

Before you even begin to apply for jobs in Australia, you need to get your own house in order, namely your CV. This may be your single chance to persuade a potential employer to take you on.

Sure, you might have the requisite credentials, but if you cannot highlight them accordingly then the job of your dreams might just pass you by.

Temp & Semi Perm Staff Wanted Nationally Hospitality / Promotions / Tele-Sales / Face to Face / Admin / Child Care / Recruitment email your cv and a brief cover letter telling us a bit about yourself to info@what-media.com

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RECRUITMENT

Top Tips For Finding Work In Australia Georgia Kirkby, 22, from the Isle Of Wight, UK is currently travelling around Australia on a Working Holiday Visa. Having faced most obstacles that travellers do, she provides us with her top tips for finding work whilst on your travels around Australia.

We can guarantee you will meet many people on your travels that claim that they can’t find work, the truth is that they weren’t looking hard enough! There is something out there for everyone and here are a few words of advice...

1. DON’T WEAR THONGS (Flip Flops) - When walking around handing out your resume, you don’t want to look like a stereotypical backpacker or they will not employ you due to the UK backpacker reputation.

Look like someone that is here to work and settle and not just do a runner after a month! Look presentable, so I really recommend investing in a “smasual” outfit to wear. Don’t go blow the last of your money - head to Target or Big W. Plus if you get it in black then you’ll be wearing it for work anyway!

2. GET OUT OF THE HOSTEL- “There is no work here (Billy)”... “Well where have you been looking?

(Georgia)”...”On Gumtree (Billy)”...”EXACTLY (Georgia)”. Any hostel reception will be filled with people refreshing their Internet page hoping that their dream job with “Start Today” will appear. This can happen – we’re not going to lie, but more than half of the jobs out there are not even advertised let alone on Gumtree. I walked around many bars and delis and 9/10 of the places said that they were looking for people, but didn’t even have a sign up! They are that confident that they will get 20 plus resumes handed to them on a daily basis, so this shows that you must go in anywhere and everywhere, as you never know. The Deli I am working in at the moment were not even looking, I got chatting to the manager on a chit chat level, she asked me what I was doing Saturday - thinking I was getting asked out for a drink! Turns out it was for a trial shift! Make and create opportunities for yourself people!

3. KISS YOUR RESUME- No not literally, you don’t want to hand it in all wet and slobbery. Keep it short and simple! I know it’s easier said than done, as you

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always want to include every little detail to show off your experience to the max. But, once you’ve done it, it is worth it! There is no need to list all of the skills you needed to be a waitress, it’s all self-explanatory.

Just write “Waitress at Fat Joes” followed by your start and finish date. Easy peasy! Plus it saves you money on the photocopier machine as it is all on one page!

4. LET THEM SEE YOU - If you see an advertisement for work online or in one of the local newspapers, I really suggest you go into the business in person.

That way they are seeing what you look like, they can gage your people skills, you can sell yourself, it gives you a chance to get a feel of the place, and who knows, they may not even need to read your resume because they like you as a person! When asking about potential work, chat to the manager, ask them how their day is going and if they say they don’t have work, then ask them if they know of anywhere that does. Network, because that manager’s girlfriend may run a boutique down the road and may be looking for an extra pair of hands!

Do all of this and it also saves you having to put a picture of yourself on your resume as they have met the REAL you!

5. PLAY A GAME- Don’t be playing no Candy Crush while you’re walking into places to ask for work. I mean walking around handing out resumes, getting turned down can become quite monotonous and boring after 6 hours, so make it fun! Set yourself a challenge, aim to talk to 20 managers in one day, see how many free coffees you can get, after every few hours treat yourself to a 7 Eleven coffee (only a dollar!) or even a Krispy Kreme! Don’t just look in the main areas, get yourself a day bus ticket and go and look around the quirky suburbs and talk to the locals.

This will all pay off as it will take your mind of the pressure of finding a job. The last thing an employer wants to see is a desperate lost puppy face! They want to see a vibrant, energized, smiley person that they want to employ and that person is you!

All of these tips are pretty much common sense and simple but sometimes you just need a little freshen up! Remember there is work out there for everyone, you just have to believe in yourself, Work hard to find work in the first place and most importantly keep calm. Everything works out in the end, and if it doesn’t, then it’s because something bigger and better is waiting for you and it’s not even the end!

Now go get them people!

“I came to Australia as it has so much to see and do in just one country, from the Outback to the beaches and everywhere I have been so far, it is unbelievably different in many ways. I got told that there were a lot of opportunities out here, and there really is. With the sun always shinning I’m experiencing things I never would get to do back home.”

SKILLED OCCUPATION LIST Want to stay in Australia for longer?

Here’s a few of the jobs going that will help you to make that dream come true. These are the jobs that are most needed in Australia.

For the full up to date Skilled Occupation list visit www.immi.gov.au Construction Project Manager Project Builder Engineering Manager Production Manager (Mining) Child Care Centre Manager Medical Administrator Nursing Clinical Director Primary Health Organisation Manager Welfare Centre Manager Land Economist Valuer Ship’s Engineer Teacher of the Hearing Impaird Teacher of the Sight Impaired Architect Landscape Architect Surveyor Urban and Regional Planner

By Georgia Kirkby

If you’re on a working holiday visa and wanting to travel throughout Australia, there will sadly come a time when you have to perch your bottom for a little bit and work hard to support your onward adventure - unless you have won every wet t-shirt competition going, then you are an exception! Don’t think of it as a bad thing though, embrace it and think of it as an experience, an opportunity to make a group of local friends, join a gym or a club, and become a walking and talking guide book of the area!