BBM May issue 713 Rudimental

EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Rachel Pottle CONTRIBUTORS James Stapleton, Omar Soliman, Mark Briggs, Amy Baker, Esther Anyakwo, Charlotte Mellor, Callum Henderson, Lillie Almond, Carol Friel, Eleanor Davies, Robert Bramhill, Robin Lewis, Erica Mahendren, Bryony Curtis, Lucie Potter WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber DESIGN Basil Thomas design@what-media.com Michael Cusack PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir E: tom.shakir@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 James Edwards E: promotions@what-media.com P: +61 8 9433 6162 CLASSIFIEDS & LISTINGS E: info@what-media.com P: +61 2 8005 8162 PRINTED BY SPOTPRESS NOTE TO ADVERTISERS Gaining the approval for the use of trademarks and images in advertisments is the responsibility of the advertiser and not What Media Pty Ltd. Advertising material is accepted in good faith and What Media Pty Ltd bears no responsibility for any claims or errors. Copyright of original material is held by What Media Pty Ltd. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden except with written permission of the publishers.

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HIGHLIGHTS

Autumn Activities

Great Whale Migration (May to November)

May marks the start of the Great Whale Migration, so be sure to schedule in a whale-watching trip with family and friends in the upcoming weeks. Here are three prime locations we recommend for this month: Sydney, NSW If you take a cruise out of Sydney’s iconic harbour, as well as a fantastic view of the city, you’ll witness gracious humpback whales making their way up to the east coast through the calm and clear waters.

Coles Bay, TASMANIA A wildlife cruise from Coles Bay makes an excellent day out with beautiful views of the surrounding cliffs, forests and white beaches. You’ll be joined by humpback and southern right whales as they make their annual migration through the Tasman Sea. Exmouth, WA Celebrate the yearly visit of the whale shark to Exmouth’s shores at the Ningaloo Whaleshark Festival.

Running from May 24th – 26th, you’ll be able to join others in honouring this spectacular and unique creature.

More info: www.australia.com/explore

The Phantom Falls (March To May) NSW

This month is your last opportunity to see ‘The Phantom Falls’ in The Blue Mountains until next year. Only occurring from March to May, this beautiful natural event is caused by the warm air from the sun on the Jamison Valley, meeting the colder air in the Megalong Valley. As a result, a ‘waterfall’ effect is created by a curtain of mist, reaching as high as 50 metres and sometimes over 800 metres wide. It falls slowly and dramatically over the cliffs, making it a must see this month.

More info: www.visitbluemountains.com.au

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Vivid Sydney – Festival of Light, Music and Ideas Don’t miss Vivid Sydney as they take over and transform the city. The streets of Sydney will be vibrantly painted with colour and creativity for two weeks, as spectacular light shows and projections shine throughout the city. The event will also play host to a range of musical performances, debates and speeches, so it’s a huge highlight this month.

What: Vivid Sydney When: 24th May – 10th June Where: All over Sydney, NSW More info: vividsydney.com

Melbourne International Coffee Expo 2013

If you’re someone who can’t start the day without your cup of favourable coffee, then you’ll be spoilt for choice at Melbourne’s International Coffee Expo. This remarkable Australasian coffee event will offer roasting workshops, café tours and the chance to meet some of the world’s top coffee industry personalities. So keep the third weekend in May free, as you’re not going to want to be anywhere else.

What: Melbourne International Coffee Expo 2013 When: 23rd – 26th May (23rd & 24th trade visitors only) Where: Melbourne Showgrounds, Epsom Road, Ascot Vale More info: www.internationalcoffeeexpo.com

Staircase To The Moon (March To October) WA If you’re visiting Western Australia this month, be sure to witness this stunning natural phenomenon.

An optical illusion of a staircase is created when the full moon rises over the mudflats at a low tide. For the best viewing spot head to Roebuck Bay in Broome. You’ll also be able to

witness the ‘Staircase To The Moon’ from various locations around The Kimberly including Cooke Point in Port Hedland, The Lookout at Cossack and Sunrise Beach in Onslow. So snuggle up with your partner and marvel at this natural spectacle.

More info: www.westernaustralia.com

Canberra National Park ACT

The Canberra National Park is a delight during the autumn season. The city’s parks and gardens transform into a beautiful landscape; a sea of red, gold and crimson leaves emerge amongst the soft grays and greens of the trees. So take a stroll through Canberra National Park this month and let the vivid colours brighten up your day.

More info: www.visitcanberra.com.au

Green Jam Free Music Sessions QLD If you love jazz, then there’s no better way to start your weekend this month than with Green Jam Free Music Sessions in Brisbane. A showcase of some of the best jazz musicians from Queensland Conservatorium will perform including Wild Silk Quartet and William Martineua Trio. So head down after work on Friday and relax with a cold beverage to the sweet sound of jazz.

What: Green Jam Free Music Sessions When: From 5pm, 3rd & 10th May Where: Queensland Performing Arts Centre, South Bank More info: www.weekendnotes.com.au

Blues On Broadbeach Festival QLD

Music

This month sees the return of Australia’s most iconic Blues Festival, Blues On Broadbeach. The festival boasts a range of top quality acts

including Australia’s very own Ian Moss and Jon Stevens. Plus it’s completely free! So why not spend a lazy weekend on the beach bopping to some soulful blues whilst lapping up the Gold Coast’s beautiful coastline.

What: Blues On Broadbeach When: 23rd – 26th May Where: Broadbeach, Gold Coast, Queensland More info: www.bluesonbroadbeach.com

Banff Mountain Film Festival 2013

Banff Mountain Film Festival is the most prestigious international film competition reaching 35 countries across the globe. Having started last month, the festival continues to take over cinema screens all over Australia with 60 of the best short films and documentaries about mountain culture, remote landscapes, and adrenaline-packed sports, so if you love the great outdoors this is a film festival for you.

Townsville Civic Theatre, Townsville 2nd May The Civic Theatre, Cairns - 3rd May The National Film & Sound Archives, Canberra - 5th - 8th May Tower Cinemas, Newcastle - 9th May Avoca Beach Picture Theatre, Avoca Beach - 11th May The Hayden Orpeum, Sydney North Shore - 13th-14th May The Seymour Centre, Sydney - 16th20th May The Edge, Katoomba - 22nd May Deckchair Cinema, Darwin - 23rd24th May The Capri Theatre, Adelaide - 25th May (Matinee & Evening) What: Banff Mountain Film Festival When: 2nd May - 29th June Where: All over Australia More info & further dates: www.banffaustralia.com.au Image courtesy of Vivid Sydney

CONTENTS This month we take you on a journey across Australia, from the Sydney Opera House, to the Whitsundays, and over to the scientific marvel that are the Pinacles in Western Australia and everything in between.

issue highlights

With many people travelling over to Australia for the Lions Tour we present you with the perfect issue to cherish as your ultimate guide on where to visit, where to eat, where to drink and what to do - no matter what kind adventure you have in mind, we’ve found something for everyone to enjoy...

Features 08 | GET HEALTHY THE SOCIAL WAY - an look at healthier ways to meet people and get active whilst you’re travelling, rather than sitting down the pub.

Lions Tour 2013

10 | TRAVEL AUSTRALIA - this month we take an extensive look at Australia’s must see points of interest from New South Wales, Victoria, the Northern Territory, Queensland and Western Australia.

26 | SRI LANKA - this May we focus on Sri Lanka as our global travel must see destination.

28 | WORLD’S BEST SMALL CLUBS - forget the main strips or super clubs of the world, we strip it back to the undercover hot spots of the world that are waiting for you to stop by on your travels.

30 | LIONS TOUR BAR GUIDE - You’re ultimate guide to the best venues to visit during the Lions Tour 2013

Interviews

travel Australia

42 | RUDIMENTAL 43 | THE SHAPESHIFTERS 44 | AYAH MARAR 45 | OWL EYES

sri lanka

Regulars 04 | THE BEST HIGHLIGHTS THIS MONTH 12 | PROMOTIONS IN MELBOURNE THIS MONTH 13 | PROMOTIONS IN SYDNEY THIS MONTH 27 | TRAVEL ESSENTIALS 38 | SPORTS NEWS 46 | MUSIC NEWS 49 | FUNNY NEWS 52 | CRYSTAL BALLS & JOKES 54 | ADULT CLASSIFIEDS 56 | ACCOM & TRAVEL LISTINGS 60 | RECRUITMENT NEWS 63 | BBM TRIVIA

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HIGHLIGHTS

Get Social The Healthy Way...

This month we outline some of the best healthy and wholesome activities that you can enjoy across the nation that will leave you invigorated and motivated, rather than jaded come Monday morning...

There comes a stage in any person’s life where the idea of spending yet another weekend, beer in hand, just becomes a little too much to handle.

Even the strongest amongst us have to concede defeat every once in a while! There is nothing wrong with actively seeking out a little down time, which provides brief respite to our battered immune systems and allows us to treat ourselves (and our livers) to a little rest. Australia is the perfect place to do this with active people everywhere, prancing about making the most of the sunshine by getting that blood pumping or indulging in leisure activities that avoid those all-too-tempting beer gardens.

Rock Climbing

If asked, the majority of us would no doubt solemnly nod our heads in agreement that yes, we could do with losing a bit of weight! And this is in addition to the need to tone up and improve our really rather pathetic upper body strength. Well my friends, we might just have the perfect excuse to this modern day conundrum that plagues the scores of inactive plebeians we are all little guilty of being - rock climbing. As the sport continues to grow in popularity, it is easy to find fantastic indoor climbing centres all across the country where for a minimal entry fee you can climb all day stopping only to enjoy a spot of sustenance in the on-site healthy cafes where baristas and chefs make it their sole-mission to provide top-quality caffeinated beverages and nutritious, locally sourced food.

City Summit is one such centre in Malaga, close to Perth CBD. If you are completely new to the activity you should first try your hand at an Introduction to Climbing course where you will learn the basics of belaying and bouldering so that you can be handed your harness and set loose on their series of walls sans supervision. City Summit also offers ClimbFit classes, which focus on helping you to improve your climbing fitness whilst honing your technique.

The two-hour, instructor led classes are a complete body workout and at the end the friendly (and inevitably muscley…potentially beardy), instructor will provide you with feedback on a list of areas that you need to work on. Classes will set you back just $30. If come the end of your class you still have some excess energy and want to avoid aching muscles the next day, climbers yoga classes are held daily costing $12. Combine the two and snap up an all day climbing and yoga pass for the bargain price of just $28. www.citysummit.com.au Where else can I climb?

There are great climbing centres popping up all over the shop and below is a list of some of the best. Remember though that should you want to combine your love of climbing with a penchant for being in the sunshine, you should remember to keep an eye out for organised trips to the many great outdoor climbing sites dotted all across the nation’s mountainous landscape.

Perth The Hangout, Bayswater thehangout.com.au Sydney The Ledge Climbing Centre, University of Sydney www.susf.com.au/the_ledge.html Melbourne Hardrock, Nanawading www.hardrock.com.au Cliff Hanger, Altona North www.cliffhanger.com.au Brisbane Urban Climb, West End www.urbanclimb.com.au Rock Sports, Fortitude Valley www.rocksports.com.au

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Escape To An Ashram

Sometimes the unrelenting stimulation of big city life just becomes too much and you find yourself longing for a little peace and tranquillity. If you take your relaxation seriously and fancy getting in touch with your spiritual side then an ashram could be just the kind of mystical journey you should embark on.

At Mangrove Creek, NSW they take the meaning of the word “retreat” really rather seriously. For those of you who haven’t felt the need to look this relatively common word up in the dictionary in the last few years it means ‘to take a step back’ and here at Mangrove Creek, that’s exactly what they will help you to do. Allowing you to leave behind the stresses and strains of the daily grind in a peaceful place of seclusion and shelter.

This spiritual yoga retreat is the largest of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere and it has been teaching and accepting guests for nigh on 40 years. You can book in for one day to one month and should you wish to make your sojourn into spirituality more of a long-term voyage – there are a range of volunteer and long stay options on offer to those who are truly committed to realigning those flamin’ chakras once and for all! www.satyananda.net/mangrove-nsw Further north in Queensland’s Mission Beach you will find the haven of tranquillity that is the Sanctuary Retreat. This centre offers a variety of different types of retreat ranging from Ashtanga yoga to meditation, food and yoga to massage and the list goes on! You are sure to find a retreat that appeals to your various different tastes and aims. www.sanctuaryretreat.com.au Across the country in Western Australia in Dunsborough, two and a half hours south of Perth, is Samudra – a yoga and raw food centre offering up a range of yoga and sustainable living weekends.

On-site facilities include two state-of-the-art yoga studios, a vegetarian café (specialising in raw delicacies), an eco-clothing store and a wellness centre. When it comes to yoga you have a choice of Hatha, Ashtanga, Mysore, Yin and rejuvenating classes and weekend yoga retreat prices start at $350 www.samudra.com.au If what you are after is the perfect blend of exercise, nutritious cuisine, health education, relaxation and sheer spa-based indulgence then Elysia Health Retreat could be just the destination for you.

The retreat is tucked away in the breathtakingly beautiful surroundings of NSW’s Hunter Valley so perhaps, time-permitting, you can begin your trip by exploring the vineyards and cheese delicatessen’s of one of the world’s most highly regarded wine regions before checking in and chilling out.

The spa, which is the only purpose built health retreat in Australia, features 75 stylish one, two and three bed villas each enjoying views of the surrounding vineyards across to the Brokenback Mountain Range which dominates the skyline in the distance. www.goldendoor.com.au/health-retreats

Art Classes

It has long been thought that creative self-expression is an immensely healthy way to spend your time and if you can combine that with a little nudity – then what the hey – we’re game!

Art Shed in Brisbane is one such place that encourages you to express yourself through the medium of art at one of Director, Dr Manny’s classes, which take place every Wednesday evening and regularly attract between 40-70 keen artistes. You had better hope those life models aren’t the shy and retiring kinds!

The two-hour long classes feature three models per session and will set you back just $10 but you will need to remember to bring your own materials. www.artshedbrisbane.com.au/life-drawing On Monday nights you can find great value life drawing classes held at Hawthorn Artists Society in Melbourne. You can sign up to a regular class and five sessions each lasting two hours will only set you back $22. hawthornartistsociety.org/studio-programme Sydney Art School has locations all around the city in Epping, Hornsby, Baulkham Hills and Mosman and if you are looking for a creative outlet that allows you to unleash your inner Da Vinci, then there will be a class to suit you. Options include simple drawing or painting classes, life drawing (if you aren’t afraid to blush), silver-smithing and photography. If you fancy trying your hand at something a little different, then the school also offers Art Therapy classes which are based upon the idea that the creative process of art is healing and life-affirming. In the classes you will be encouraged to use various materials and techniques to express yourself. There are courses of different lengths to sign up for so you can guarantee that you will make yourself a few new friends along the way. www.sydneyartschool.com.au

Something A Little Different

Fancy laughing your way to fitness? If so, why not try your hand at this popular yet slightly unusual trend taking Australia by storm – laughter yoga. The outdoor classes, taken by Kylie Willows, combine a healthy dose of fresh air with rhythmic clapping, yogic breathing and simulated laughter to bring out those hearty laughs lurking in the depths. Although you will no doubt feel a little foolish to start off with, after a few nervous giggles you’ll be guffawing and chortling along with the best of them. Classes are held in North Sydney, Hornsby and Bondi and there is no set fee – you are simply invited to donate what you can. www.sydneylaughter.com.au Anti-gravity yoga - Inspired by aerial circus art and Vinyasa yoga, anti-gravity yoga involves using silk hammocks suspended from the ceiling to help participants contort themselves into various tricky, in fact seemingly impossible, yoga poses.

Classes are held around Australia, mostly in boutique gyms. You can try Vibes Fitness in Fitzroy, Melbourne or Flight School, Brisbane. Classes at Vibes will cost you $25. www.vibesfitness.com.au We know that hula-hooping is something that you associate with little kids but add some weights to the hula hoop and you have an automatic way to achieve abs that would make Shakira prickle with envy. Celebs from Beyoncé to Michelle Obama swear by it and when you hear that it is proven to burn as many calories per minute as step aerobics as well as improving balance and posture whilst strengthening your core and toning and shaping your abs – it just seems like a no-brainer. Team all of these health benefits with banging dance music and friendly classmates and you soon see why people across the country are giving it a whirl. Just don’t expect to meet too many fellas in your class. fithoop.com.au If you have been to the circus and fancy seeing what it feels like to fly by trying your hand at the trapeze then you should attend a class or two at Circus Arts in Sydney. Located at the Sydney Olympic Park Aquatic Centre, there is a weekly timetable of flying trapeze sessions to suit all ages and abilities. One class will set you back $55 but you can buy packages which prove better value. There are also classes to be found in Byron Bay, Ballina and Brisbane. circusarts.com.au/sydney

By Amy Baker

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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

Your Ultimate Guide To Australia...

An expansive country sprawling vastly across a continent, there are many amazing spectacles that lie within Australia. From natural wonders including the Great Barrier Reef and Uluru, to the tranquility of the crystal clear billabongs of Kakadu, and the oppressive outback stretching for thousands of miles, it is possible to see every type of landscape whilst visiting Australia.

image courtesy of Wet Rez Cameras www.wetresolution.com.au

This month we take you on a tour of Australia’s most impressive landmarks both manmade and natural, stopping via the states of New South Wales, Victoria, Northern Territory, Queensland and Western Australia to help you plan your time wisely whilst visiting this varied and adventure laden country.

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New South Wales...

New South Wales, home of Sydney, but don’t let that fool you, this is much more than a one trick state. In Australia’s original state you can find world famous landmarks, sites of the country’s colonial and convict history and areas of outstanding natural beauty bringing you everything Australia has to offer within the state boundaries.

The first European settlers came to Australia via Sydney when Captain Cook sailed into Botany Bay, before the infamous convict ships followed, a couple of generations later, the ex-pats and tourists alike disembarked to soak up some of what New South Wales has to offer.

Here we look at some of the best features to be found in New South Wales that makes it a world-class travel destination.

Sydney Opera House The Sydney Opera House is one of the most breathtakingly recognizable buildings in the world. Overlooking Sydney Harbour, it has become an icon of both Sydney and Australia.

The idea for a performing arts center at Bennelong Point were first proposed in the late 1940s, but it wasn’t until 1957 that the world famous design by Jorn Utzon was selected after an open competition. However it wasn’t until 1973, 10 years behind schedule and $90million over budget, that Queen Elizabeth II finally opened the doors to the Sydney Opera House.

There is more to the sail structure than the name and the countless photos suggest. It isn’t merely decorative, and it isn’t merely an Opera House. This multi-venue performing arts center stages over 1,500 shows and plays host to over a million visitors a year, however around 8 million people come to visit the site each year.

Whatever type of art tickles your fancy can be indulged at Bennelong Point. As the title suggests the building does not shy away from hosting classical music and opera events, but for those of us who can’t separate their Pavarottis from their Pacinis, less high-brow performers in recent times include Russell Howard, Noel Fielding and the Doctor Who Symphonic Spectacular. Elitist and pretentious this building is not.

The air conditioning throughout the building is powered by water from the Harbour, but if sitting inside seems to defeat the object of traveling thousands of miles and half way around the world you can always wait for Vivid Sydney (24th May – 10th June) during which the Opera House is used as a spectacular canvas for a contemporary light show. Or, if you are around in January it forms part of the backdrop for one of the largest annual fireworks displays in the world as midnight on New Year’s Eve.

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MELBOURNE PROMOS Turf Bar 131 Queen Street $15 peppered porterhouse

Tuesday

Wednesday

Duke Of Kent 293 La Trobe Street Burger and pot $15

Thursday

Duke Of Kent 293 La Trobe Street $10 lunch menu Bimbo Deluxe 376 Brunswick Street Fitzroy $4 pizza 12pm-4pm

The Dan O’Connell Lucky Coq Hotel 225 Canning Street Cnr Chapel Street and High Street Carlton Windsor Happy Hour Comedy Night 9pm 4.30pm-6.30pm $6 Carlton Draught or Brunswick Bitter pints, basic spirits and house wines The Workshop 1/413 Elizabeth Street $8 Meatballs Two Birds One Stone 12 Claremont Street South Yarra All day breakfast

The Common Man 39 Dukes Walk South Wharf 5pm7pm $6 pints, $10 cocktails

The Local Taphouse 184 Carlisle Street St Kilda Live Music 9pm Free Entry

Pugg Mahone’s 106 - 112 Hardware Lane 6.30pm $14 Jugs, $14 Parma and chips

Turf Bar 131 Queen Street Matilda’s Happiest Hour 6pm-8pm $5 pints

The Dan O’Connell Hotel 225 Canning Street Carlton $10 fish and chips

Ding Dong Lounge Level 1 18 Market Lane Chinatown The Precinct Hotel Wabi Sabi Garden Best Recreation, DJ’s 60 Swan Street and bands Ground Level Richmond 17 Wellington Street Good vs Evil St Kilda Clubnight Authentic Japanese RnB, Top 50, Dance Cuisine Happy Hour and Retro drinks 5pm - 6.30pm

Midnight Marvels in Melbourne: The Night’s Hidden Gems “Apartment 29 on Fitzroy Street? It’s just so commercial!” The cool kids are forever looking for the next big thing, aren’t they? Yet what’s exciting about that “big thing” in Melbourne, is that nobody ever knows where it is. So we’re here to give a helping BBM hand (nice like that, aren’t we?).

The Corner Hotel has been a magnet to the rawest talent since the 1940s. Corner recently revamped its look, yet most certainly maintained its talent. Based in Richmond, Corner describes itself as a “rock venue”, yet when gazing through its star-studded gig history, this “rock” label just feels insufficient, if not insulting. We’re not talking old-school dusty vinyls - think of fresh sound, yet to find its international acclaim - and if you’re anything like The Corner, you think of Grimes in 2012- yes, you cool kids, this was before she was “main-stream”, get in!

You won’t find a gig fresher than Grimes’ preMeredith performance at The Corner Hotel. Now an internationally renowned headliner, Grimes sold out at The Corner at electric speed, so here’s a heads up to book online if planning on visiting this timeless venue. And why not? From the priceless (more like $2,500 per ticket) attendances of Mick Jagger and Crowded House, to the cheeky beatdropping names such as James Blake, the Corner hosts both the underground and the very, very overground.

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Friday

Perhaps The Corner Hotel’s T-shirt and key-ring merchandise approach is just not exclusive enough for you though. Never fear- the real low-down is hidden in Kensington. Revolt is so rare a gem amongst the dog-eared clubs of Melbourne, that it is relentlessly confused with Revolver, a late-nighter with which it is most definitely not associated.

The venue is too easily missed, nestled in the industrial-feeling Younghusband Factory. Being an all-round arts centre, it is a hub of underground culture, yet you really do have to know about it to find it. Don’t you feel special now? Wait until you step inside and have to refrain from parading like one of Melbourne’s rare the elite secret-keepers.

Revolt is hireable for independent events, so can operate into the surreptitious morning hours.

Strongly affiliated with its Underground Collective, it poignantly represents the “arty” North of city.

Frankly, I feel guilty for telling you about it- is it too late to put the Revolt-kitty back in the bag?

If however you’re after an inevitable late-night venue with no hefty price-tag, advanced planning, or precious secrecy, Revolver in Prahran is a nobrainer. Its trashy over-flaunted name is iconic on trendy Chapel Street, and though artistically, it plays contest to its niche all-night competitor, Tramp, it is that much more affordable. With entry from zero to 15 dollars, Revolver is tainted with a back-packer slash student vibe, and guaranteed to be spewing out creatures of the night for their 8am recovery breakfast (or should I say dinner?)

The thing is, music. Yes, Revolver hosts live bands on the regs - yet Tramp hosts House.

Finally, a venue in Melbourne that ticks so very many enticing boxes. We’re talking resident and

Saturday The Workshop Cnr Chapel Street and High Street Windsor $4 pizza 7pm-9pm and tunes

Ding Dong Lounge Level 1 18 Market Lane Chinatown Midnight Run Discotheque

The Quiet Man 271 Racecourse Road Flemington Live Irish contemporary acts from 9.30pm

Sunday

The Workshop 1/413 Elizabeth Street $4 cheese and ham toasties

The Local Taphouse 184 Carlise Street St Kilda Trivia

Strike Bowling Level 3 Melbourne Central 211 La Trobe Street Free bowling if $6 spent at bar after 5pm

international house, a mischievous underground feel (under strip-club, to be precise), and opening hours that you associate with groggy morning alarms. Yet there is nothing groggy about Tramp - minus of course the name. Hidden deep below the city centre on King Street, Tramp ensures you lose track of time. It is indeed painful that Tramp has hosted a Geordie Shore party - it is even more painful that the venue feels the need to produce its own range of trashy and overpriced merchandise.

Yet, without a Trampy souvenir, how else are you going to remember that messy morning that ran all the way into Sunday lunch?

From underground basement to storey high sass, we bring you The Toff. You thought you felt trampy scouring the streets for Tramp, try looking posh while hunting for Toff. Keep your nose high - it’s located above sister club, Cookie. Frankly, the place is so hard to find. (Curtin House, Swanston Street). My point is, if you don’t know about it now, there’s a high chance you never will. With tamer closing hours, (3am weekdays, 5am weekends), Toff hosts the likes of The Cat Empire, and offers entry from zero to $20.

Save the best ‘til last? I leave the decision as to The Espy, at 135 years of age and 15,981 facebook likes and counting, it is the best. An unstoppable live music venue every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night, the tattiness of the venue is lovable, and the eclectic variety of artists is relentless. My advice is to end that Trampy, Revolting (though hopefully not Revolving) weekend with a chilled schooner at The Espy. Weekend done.

By Lillie Almond

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

Tuesday

Darlo Bar 306 Liverpool Street Happy Hour 5pm7pm

The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Beef and Guinness Pie

The Forresters

336 Riley Street Surry Hills $5 Steak all day

Scruffy Murphy’s 43-49 Goulburn Street $5 Vodka Mother all night and $7 beer jugs, $3 wine til 10pm

The Soda Factory 16 Wentworth Avenue Surrey Hills Movie Mondays 5pm-12am $5 Tiger beers & house wines

Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Road, Coogee $15 Piri Piri Chicken & Chips 10am-10pm

P.J.O’Brien’s 57 King Street Trivia from 6.30pm

Tommy’s Beer Cafe 123 Glebe Point Road Glebe Hunter schnitzel $15.99

Wednesday

Thursday

The Eastern 500 Oxford Street Bondi Junction Happy Hour 5-7pm $4 beer and $5 wine

The Office Hotel Cnr Kent and Erskine Streets $10 Meals and Poker from 7pm

The Spice Cellar Basement Level 58 Elizabeth Street Tues-Thurs 4pm-12am Tapas

The White Horse 385 Crown Street Happy Hour $5 Cocktails 5pm-7pm

The Workers 292 Darling Street Balmain $3 Tacos, $5 Rio Brava Cans and $10 Margaritas

Palings Level 1 Ivy 330 George Street $5 Happy Hour 5.30pm

Bat & Ball 495 Cleveland Street Redfern Pub Trivia and $12 steaks all day

Beresford 354 Bourke Street Surry Hills $5 Happy Hour 5pm-7pm

Friday The Forresters 336 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Cocktail Happy Hour 6pm-8pm

Cock ‘N’ Bull 89 Ebley Street Bondi Junction Oxegen Fridays free entry with live bands and DJ’s from 9pm

Scruffy Murphy’s 43-49 Goulburn Street Frisky Fridays $4 drinks and free entry before 12am

Saturday

Sunday

The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $12 Roast Dinner The Beach Palace 169 Dolphin Street Coogee $10 Buckets

The Soda Factory 16 Wentworth Avenue Surrey Hills Soda Saturdays.

5pm-5am guest musicians and DJ’s

Bat & Ball 495 Cleveland Street Redfern $10 burger and chips

The Paragon Hotel Cnr Loftus and Alfred Street Live music in the courtyard

The Workers 292 Darling Street $4 sliders $4 cider jugs The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

SYDNEY PROMOS

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SYDNEY

NEW SOUTH WALES Sydney Harbour Bridge

If you’ve seen the Opera House, likelihood is you’ve seen the Sydney Harbour Bridge. In fact if you’ve ever seen a picture of Sydney it is likely to have framed both of these monuments against a clear blue sky in one shot.

Built for a far more down to earth practical reason than the Sydney Opera House it is a no less awesome sight. There is barely a mode of transport available on which you can’t cross this landmark, car, train, bike, foot, Segway - you name it, it’s passing by.

You can even climb the vast arch that stretches over the water, framed by towers greeting it at the shoreline. The towers incidentally act only as a frame, they provide no structural purpose and were only included in the plans on aesthetic grounds, and to reassure locals over the bridge’s integrity.

Once built, however, uses have been found for the structures. One houses a museum, one is a CCTV station, while another contains a chimney funneling fumes from the newly built Harbour Tunnel. If it looks familiar to any visitors from the North East of England, it’s because it was built by the same people who built the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle.

The Sydney Harbour bridge was opened in 1932, however the ceremony was hijacked by a man in military uniform riding a horse who cut the ribbon with a sword and rode off in protest that King Edward hadn’t been invited to the official opening.

He was promptly arrested and charged £5. You just don’t get civil disobedience like that anymore.

Botanical Gardens

Its reputation probably suffers from proximity to its two more illustrious neighbors (the aforementioned Sydney Opera House and the Harbour Bridge), but completing the set of must-sees on the Harbour shoreline is Sydney’s Royal Botanical Gardens.

Covering 30 hectares the gardens, which are free to enter, overlook Farm Cove and sit on the site of the first farming settlement in Australia, the gardens are the perfect place to enjoy the weather without getting sand in and on everything.

Located right in the center of town they provide a quick and easy escape from the skyscrapers of Sydney’s CBD. Despite its proximity to the city, the gardens are so tranquil that you’ll instantly forget you’re in the centre of a world famous city. Being the peaceful environment that it is, a colony of fruit bats known as flying foxes moved in. Unfortunately, they had a rather destructive effect on the flora and fauna and so they were moved on by playing recordings of city noises over loud speakers. A few months later, the bats, and the noises of city living, have both relocated to more suitable locations, namely other parts of Sydney, and so the place is back to doing what it does best, being calm and tranquil.

The Botanical Gardens make for a perfect afternoon stroll, picture perfect moments, and stunning views when you just want to escape the hubub of the city.

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Cockatoo Island

We all know Australia was the largest imperial prison ever established. But where did the convicts go when they misbehaved once in Australia?

Cockatoo Island was the colony’s naughty step.

As the role of Australia changed so did that of Cockatoo Island morphing from a prison’s prison to an area of industry with large ship building docks on the island playing a pivotal role in the country’s war effort during the 1940s.

In recognition of the role in history the convicts played in the colonization of Europe, the island, along with other similar sites, have been declared UNESCO world heritage sites.

Recently the island has changed usage again and is now a regular location for fringe festivals and campers wanting a great view looking back to the Harbour, especially on the occasions when the fireworks light up the water.

Highlights for this year include the performing arts Underbelly with over 150 artists taking up residence on the island, creating their work on in situ before a large exhibition the first weekend of August. Next year’s Biennial of Sydney will feature exhibitions on the island and talks are underway to create a regular street art festival following the success of Outpost two years ago.

Blue Mountains

The name may sound straight out of Star Trek, but the origins of the Blue Mountains name is more science than fiction. Fumes given off by a particularly high concentration of eucalyptus trees in the park react with the sunlight at high altitude to give the area a blue tinge from afar.

The aboriginal forebears who inhabited the area told of warring gods that scarred the landscape in battle.

The scenery is certainly epic. Vast areas of natural beauty covered with trees, and protruding outcrops of rocks, such as the Three Sisters formation create a lush and exciting landscape to explore.

The Jenolan Caves are the biggest draw in the mountains with exquisite rock formations and over 40 km of passages with more being discovered to this day.

There is plenty of camping space throughout the park but for those who prefer a home comfort or two the best place to head for is Katoomba. Complete with colourful art deco shop fronts and that friendly small town feel, it also features plenty of hostels and B&Bs for you to take your pick from, and you can even rent cabins in the mountains if your budget allows you and a group of friends to get away for a long weekend.

The place is full of legends, both aboriginal and slightly more modern, and is just two hours on the train from Sydney or an hour and a half in the car, giving you ample opportunity to stretch your legs and clear your lungs without having to resort to trekking halfway across Australia looking for a bit of wilderness.

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

VICTORIA

is a unique town with a well-deserved reputation as the cultural capital of Australia. The birthplace of Aussie Rules Football and the Melbourne Shuffle, the city is as diverse as it is outgoing.

At the height of the Victorian Gold rush in the 1880s Melbourne was the richest city in the world, and served as the country’s first capital until the establishment of Canberra in 1927.

Known as the garden state, Victoria features mountains and rainforests, coastlines and metropolitan hubs, meaning whatever you feel like doing, Victoria can help you indulge. Here we take a look at what this bountiful state has to offer.

Melbourne

While much of the state feels centered on Melbourne, don’t let this stop you from exploring outside the

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city, the state’s wine and snow regions are some of the best Australia has to offer. With rolling hills, the countryside is pleasant and accessible, as is the state as a whole. Without the vast distances involved in much of the rest of Australia (although its all relative, Victoria still covers the same area as Britain), it feels less daunting should you wish to make your way around and take in the sites.

There are an abundance of Aboriginal heritage sites, and a long tradition of excellent spas located across the state, usually a little way out of Melbourne. But, aside from just enjoying the proximity of things and the local atmosphere, here are a few things to put on the to do list while in Victoria.

Home of Neighbors, the biggest tram network in the world, and three out of four Victorians, Melbourne

Home to a number of major international festivals including the Melbourne Comedy Festival, International Arts Festival and Melbourne Fringe Festival, there is always something going on.

It’s worth checking in advance for major events happening during your stay as some of the tickets sell fast. The city also hosts the Australian Grand Prix, Australian Open tennis tournament, and the Boxing Day Test Match. The amount of domestic and international sport meant Melbourne was declared ‘The Ultimate Sports City’ for the second time in 2008, coincidently the same year UNESCO named it a ‘City of Literature’.

If all the culture and sport proves too much for you, there are plenty of parks to relax in and recuperate before you hit up the The Laneways of an evening, with a plethora of bars and restaurants to help you spend a lively evening out on the town. Melbourne has a little bit of everything for both tourists and residents alike, and is regularly voted the world’s most livable city. So no matter how long you’re in Victoria, there is plenty to enjoy.

The Laneways Melbourne is one of those modern cities built on a huge grid, with wide roads and skyscrapers. But what makes the place different to other sprawling metropolises is what goes on between the high rises. In many cities, these are where you line up the dumpsters, where people sleep in boxes and where you don’t walk after dark. In Melbourne, they have been transformed into expressive areas full of street art, cafes and bars, and one-off shops offering you more than the usual high street fare.

Previously used as access roads, these are now thriving culture points, used to advertise the city and a major draw for locals and visitors alike. They are not an interconnected web but just appear where quirks of architecture allow, but they are all in Melbourne’s CBD. Visit Café Segovia and Café Brown Sugar in Block Place, popular with tourists and locals any time of the day, or browse through the items on sale in unique boutiques Friends Of Couture and Kinki Gerlinki in Centre Place. Or simply admire some of the best street art of the city, found in Union Lane, Hosier Lane and Yarra Place, above a café or beside a bar. Such human creativity and expression has been driven by the city council to promote local artists and bring life to the area. Music artists and buskers also play the streets to entertain visitors as they dine, drink and shop the hours away, including Indie songstress Jazmine Rose, who can usually be heard on Degraves Street.

Each lane or arcade has its own vibe but it’s worth checking out Centre Place and Degraves Lane, or ask at your hotel if they have a map with the key lanes marked on, or sign up for one of the regular walking tours starting in Federation Square.

Yarra Valley One of Australia’s best wine producing regions. It was one of the first places in Australia to be sown with vines, back in 1838. Demand for fortified wines saw local farmers stop producing wine in the early 1920s, but it started back up again in the 60s. With the cool climate and rolling hills the region has great conditions for a production of a range of different grape varieties, which the locals take full advantage of.

Due to the wide range of conditions within the region, many different styles of wine are produced - and to a top notch standard too. The winemakers in Yarra Valley believe they make the best Chardonnay and Pinot Noir going, and they’ve won plenty of awards and trophies to prove it.

The valley is only 45 km from Melbourne city center offering the perfect opportunity for a day trip if a longer stay is out of the question, but a selection of hotels and B&Bs offer those who prefer to stay a little longer and visit more of the wineries, most of which offer individual tours. Large-scale tours taking in more than one winery can be easily booked, with leaflets and offers not hard to come by.

However Yarra Valley is not just about wine and vineyards. What goes better with wine than cheese?

Yarra Valley Dairy provides a charming setting in the valley, where you can enjoy some of the fine farmhouse cheeses made from the farm’s milk. This little gem is worth a look, as you can experience the process of cheese making while spending time enjoying the food and drink.

It is also a place of stunning natural beauty that is not to be wasted. Take a hike along Badger Weir, the O’Shannassy Trail or the Warburton Rainforest to view some beautiful sights or travel along the Yarra Valley railway for a more relaxing trip. You can even meet Australian wildlife such as dingos, koalas, kangaroos, wombats, Tasmanian devils and great birds of prey at the Healesville Sanctuary.

Philip Island Hanging out in the Westernport Bay, Phillip Island has two major tourist draws which combine to bring over around 3.5 million visitors a year.Firstly, the surf. Widely acknowledged as being one of the most reliable, yet varied spots in the world, the island hosts regular surfing competitions for professionals and amateurs alike.

The other is penguins. Every evening around 26,000 Fairy Penguins, the world’s smallest penguin, return from a day’s fishing to find their homes in sand dunes. Coming ashore in small groups the undoubtedly adorable creatures waddle across the beach into the dunes. Photography and filming is strictly prohibited but raised boardwalks and small cabins offer the perfect spot to watch and coo. A must for anyone with small children, or big kids.

The island is teaming with other wildlife, such as wallabies and kangaroos, and at the western end of the islands you’ll find Seal Rocks, where guess what?! You’ll find seals. In fact, you’ll find the largest colony of fur seals in Australia.

If you want a view of it all, the Cape Woolamai trail takes you up to 109 metres above sea level – the islands highest point- in a two-hour round walk.

There are also not one, but two, Koala Conversationalist Parks where you can interact with the animals without much strenuous effort. Or experience the islands glorious sights from a whole new vantage point, and climb into a helicopter to reach new heights of sight-seeing!

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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

VICTORIA Great Ocean Road Less romantically known as B100, The Great Ocean Road was built by soldiers returning from World War I, under a scheme to provide employment to the massed ranks of the recently de-mobilised. It was dedicated to their fallen comrades making this the largest war memorial anywhere in the world.

If you have a spare three days whilst in Victoria, there is no better way to spend them than to embark upon the world famous Great Ocean Road adventure. So much more than just a highway, it hugs the coastline for large parts of its 243 km stretch from Torquay to Allansford taking in beaches, forest and limestone cliffs along the way.

One of the greatest attractions is the famous Twelve Apostles near Port Campbell.

Originally these outstanding pieces of natural beauty were formed by erosion where the Southern Ocean caused caves in the cliffs. This lead to the erosion of the caves which further evolved into the arches. When the arches finally eroded, they collapsed leaving the original nine stacks which became strangely known as the 12 Apostles.

Or explore Cape Ottway, harbouring the oldest lighthouse in Australia and home to an abundance of wildlife in the National Park. The first point to be seen by immigrants as they approached Australia from Europe, it is a world waiting to be discovered, with amazing views of the crystal blue waters, ships and whales.

Along the trip, you can delve into one of the world’s oldest and most remarkable mountain ranges, The Grampians. Renowned for being deeply rich in Aboriginal history and for the wildlife that inhabits in the range; this is a great experience and way to learn about the Aboriginal culture.

You can also spot great Australian wildlife, such as the Australian fur seals, little penguins, emus, koalas and kangaroos. There are plenty of other stunning views and things to see at almost every turn, just remember to keep your eyes on the road some of the time.

If you’re not overly enamored with large set piece road trips, don’t worry, the Great Ocean Walk runs 104 km along the same route as the road, or you can wait for mid May and participate in the Great Ocean Marathon which uses the section of the road from Lorne to Apollo Bay as the track.

Mount Buller When you think of Australia, snow-capped mountains may not be the first thing that naturally springs to mind, but fear not fans of the white stuff, Victoria has got one of the best on offer.

Mount Buller features facilities for all your major snow sports, including downhill ski and snowboard runs, tobogganing and cross-country treks. Twenty-two lifts serve the slopes giving Mount Buller the highest capacity of any ski resort in Victoria.

The snow season starts in June, and winds up in the first week of October (but keep your eye on the snow report!). History dictates that Mt Buller gets peak snowfall towards the end of July and beginning of August. Between 2 - 3 metres seems to be the average - which will do nicely thank you very much.

There is also a super hi-tech snow-making machine which pumps out powder when Mother Nature is being a bit lazy; so don’t panic that you’ll get there and not see the snow. Unless you don’t want to, in which case head over in summer when the extensive snow runs are replaced with mountain bike trails. A recent push to upgrade these routes is bearing fruit allowing Mount Buller to provide adrenaline rushes to visitors all year round.

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Image courtesy of snowscene.com.au

Whilst there is a variety of accommodation on offer above the snowline, from backpacker to cosy lodges and chalets, the resort for Mount Buller is regarded among one of the best and priciest in the country, appealing to those with a bit more cash in their pocket, providing lodges and luxury hotels. To get the best rates available on accommodation, lift passes and equipment hire, it’s recommended you book in advance.

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

NORTHERN TERRITORY Vast and sparse are two words to describe Australia’s Northern Territory. Covering over 1.3 million square kilometers, the state nonetheless is home to only 1 per cent of Australia’s population. Here we look at the reasons to travel to the Northern Territory.

The practical upshot of the sheer size of the place is what is worth seeing in NT, you’re going to have to log some serious travel time. Thankfully, those hours in transport are worth it; from the ethereal splendour of Uluru (Ayres Rock) to the lush billabongs of Kakadu National Park, this is Australia at its most raw.

It is also the most concentrated area of Aboriginal influence, in Australia with nearly a third of residents identifying themselves as Native Australians. This, combined with a lack of large towns, give the region a different feel to the cosmopolitan cities such as Sydney and Melbourne, but a trip up here gives you a fuller sense of the true nature of the country, and its past.

Aboriginal culture plays a much more important role in Northern Territorial life than the rest of Australia, with plenty of dedicated museums, both to their history and culture, and the more modern creativity with art galleries and plenty of craft stalls.

As you would expect, the sights and sounds are a bit different in this part of the world. If you are one for the open road - and we mean very open - the Stuart Highway runs, almost in a straight line from Darwin down to Adelaide. The Ghan train service does the same thing if roads with a “guideline” speed limit of 130km/h aren’t your thing. It isn’t all just dauntingly huge travel routes. There is also the chance to put some distance between yourself and the ground and drift through cloudless skies over the coast, desert, or the beauty of the national parks in a hot air balloon, a local tourist favourite, eat fresh fish caught from the pier in Darwin, or just enjoy a little winter sunshine, there is more to the Northern Territory than you think.

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Alice Springs

Alice Springs acts as the gateway to ‘The Outback’, isolation and searing heat. Temperatures are known to get above 40 degrees Celsius in the town known as the central point of Australia. Alice Springs is almost equal distance from both Darwin in the north and Adelaide in the south, 1,500km from either; and also 1,200 km from the nearest coastline.

Accessible is it not, unique; it most certainly is. The town bears a much heavier Aboriginal influence than much of the rest of Australia, with local media appearing in native languages and plenty of Aboriginal art on display in the town.

Alice Springs is a bit of an old-fashioned frontier town. Largely acting as a center for those who live even further out into the wilderness. The train serving the Darwin-Adelaide route turns up twice a week in each direction. This being modern Australia however they do have a strip runway and regular flights to the major Australian cities.

As you would expect from a small, relatively isolated settlement the entertainment is a little different from the rest of the country. They still love their sport, and there are cricket pitches and Aussie rules ovals, but there are also camel races and the dry river regatta. Think about those foot powered cars favoured by the Flintstones, and you are pretty much there. Named the Henley-on-Todd regatta it’s run every August for over 50 years, except in 1993 when it had to be canceled because…there was water in the river.

Despite the obvious restraints Alice Springs is actually a bit of tourist hub ideally located for those who are on their way to Uluru or Kata Tjutas. There are plenty of camping spots, B&Bs and hostels around for the wiry traveler to stay in, plus a good selection of food haunts, such as the Overlanders Steakhouse offering a menu of “The Outback”, meaning fun-sized portions of kangaroo, camel, crocodile and emu.

Hotel, named, and shaped after the park’s reptilian inhabitants.

Darwin

Australia’s northernmost city may seem remote and isolated, but fear not, it has a character all of its own that makes it well worth visiting. Originally named Palmerston after the former British Prime Minister, the port to the town was named after Charles Dawin by the captain of the HMS Beagle, in honour of their former science officer whose name now graces the city as a whole.

Due to its location Darwin acts as a gateway between Asia and Australia. The result is deceptively multicultural city for what appears from the outside a provincial town. This manifests itself in the people you meet, the food on offer, and the festivals held throughout the year. Chinese New Year plays a prominent role in the calendar of the city, as do other festivals celebrating the Indian and Greek populations.

The city hosts the start of the World Solar Challenge, where solar powered vehicles race down to Adelaide, and, at the other end of the technology spectrum there is the Beer Can Regatta, in which contestants race each other in sea faring craft made from…yep, beer cans, competitive sport that honours the past time of beer drinking, is there a more quintessentially Australian event?

The city has its own unique history, and that manifests itself by the museums on offer. There are museums to the bombardment of Darwin by Japanese bombers during World War II, and to the effects of the devastating cyclone that hit the city in 1974, both of which caused the city to be extensively rebuilt.

During the dry season (March – November) nightly beach markets take up the space on Mindil Beach offering a great selection of Asian food, and other tastes of the ‘Top End’.

Darwin, while it may be small, it certainly packs a punch and is the perfect place to visit during the southern hemisphere winter for a little sunshine, and is an excellent base and start point to explore the Northern Territory.

Uluru/Ayers Rock

Uluru or Ayers Rock is the iconic feature of the Australian outback, rising up from the largely flat land around it to form an impressive and spectacular sight. Referred to as Uluru by Aborigines, its English title came after surveyor William Gosse named it after the then Chief Secretary of South Australia, Sir Henry Ayers. Recently, there has been a concerted effort to recognise the cultural significance of the rock and since 1993 it has officially been referred to by its dual names.

Uluru plays an important role in Dreamtime customs of many local Aboriginal peoples, during which they believe ancestors, gods and mortals come together to discover their joint history and culture, these stories and legends are generally not divulged to outsiders, however, one known Aboriginal legend surrounding Uluru tells of a great war after which the earth itself rose up in grief at the bloodshed to form the huge structure we know today.

The site remains so sacred to many local Aboriginal tribes they request visitors do not climb the rock, operators of the national park are considering implementing a ban, but currently tourists are still able to scale to the summit and look back out across the desert.

Uluru/Ayers Rock is one of only 20 places in the world to gain World Heritage status for both its cultural significance and its outstanding natural beauty. Uluru is 348 metres high, 3.6 kilometres long, 1.9 kilometres wide, and is 9.4 kilometres around, creating an awe inspiring site, one you don’t have to climb to the top of to understand its beauty.

Local tourist guides will walk you around, showing the pools at the base and the wildlife that has come to call the rock home. It is worth making sure you see either a sunrise or a sunset whilst here, as the hot sun and the red sandstone combine to produce fantastic scenery with Uluru appearing to change colour as the sun passes the horizon.

Uluru isn’t the only thing to see in the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park. As the name suggests, the park also features Kata Tjuta, meaning “many heads” a chain of 36 small, domed hills and rocks equally steeped in mythology and natural beauty. Uluru is not a one-off site and it is worth asking the tourist companies who offer trips around the park if they take you to any of the other sites, as they are well worth a look, as if you’ve come this far, you might as well take in all the park has to offer.

Located almost bang smack in the center of a vast desert, getting to and from this particular national park can seem like a bit of an adventure in itself.

However, if you are short on time, but keen to visit this wonder of the natural world, there is an airport at Yulara with flights from Sydney, Darwin and Alice Springs, it may be the more expensive way to visit, but where there is a will there is a way to get to Uluru.

There are plenty of places to stay once you get there, so you can stay overnight and take your time to appreciate, rather than arrive, look round and leave in a rush.

Kakadu National Park

Heading back up north, Kakadu National Park is spectacularly diverse. Within the park’s boundaries are wetlands, rock formations, hills and estuaries, with the reciprocal amount of diversity in the park’s flora and fauna.

The earliest evidence of human occupation in Australia was found in the park, and has been continuously inhabited by humans for 40,000 years. The area has thrown up a wealth of artefacts detailing how humans lived in the area, from hunter-gatherers up to the early Aboriginal settlers and modern times. The most visual of which is the stunning rock art at sites such as Ubirr.

Being so far north, the climate in Kakadu is much fresher than the rest of the Northern Territory. A monsoon climate feeds the rivers and creates a lush covering of trees. It also provides the raw material for the parks waterfalls, such as Jim Jim Waterfall.

Dry for half of the year, and only accessible by 4x4 vehicles once the rains have arrived, it’s as close to water tumbling perfection as you are likely to see anywhere in the world.

Whilst on the subject of water, crocodiles are a common sight in the park. So much so, that the first British settlers named the local rivers ‘Alligator Rivers’ because of the numbers found in there (the early settlers weren’t quiet as au fait with the difference between the two species as we are today, but the name stuck anyway). There are plenty of signs up warning visitors of the dangers of a quick dip. If you fancy ending up inside a crocodile without having to go through the discomfort of being eaten, the main town of Jabiru offers up The Crocodile Hotel, named and shaped after the park’s reptilian inhabitants.

Trekking through Kakadu you will feel as if you have been transported to the most spectacular rainforest, with twisted tree roots weaving their way skywards, and idyllic billabongs overflowing with an abundance of wildlife, from water monitor lizards basking on rocks to fish and turtles that will brush past your feet, should you wish to take a dip to cool off if the temperatures get too much for you.

For the nature lovers among you, the best times to go spotting are dawn and dusk, as many creatures are nocturnal. If reptiles and birds aren’t exciting enough for you, then some more furry creatures to be found in Kakadu include the Agile wallaby, the Antilopine wallaby, the Black fruit bat, Black wallaroo, Black-footed tree-rat, Brown bandicoot, Dingos and the Northern Quoll. You’ll also find the rare Dugong in marine areas.

The park is home to 26 species listed as nationally threatened, including loggerhead turtles, bats, geckos and two different types of shark. On top of the animal varieties, the park is also helping to keep the culture of the local people alive. The park is run as a joint enterprise involving the indigenous Bininji and Mungguy people who lease the land to the Director of National Parks. The role of Aboriginal culture is therefore integral to the park, both in terms of protection, and education.

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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

QUEENSLAND Think ‘Australia’ and it’s difficult to not instantly conjure up images of the coast. Surf laden beaches, coral reefs and idyllic tropical islands stretch the length of Queensland’s coast from Brisbane to Cairns. It may be a no-brainer, but unsurprisingly white sands and clear waters feature prominently in our list of the best things to see and do in Queensland.

The Gold Coast

The Gold Coast simultaneously describes the city just south of Brisbane and the expanse of shoreline filled with picture-perfect beaches, sunshine and wildlife all the way up to Cairns. The city itself will host the 2018 Commonwealth Games, if you happen to be in the area at the time, and is home to 57 km of coastline including Surfers Paradise. Towering skyscrapers rise almost from the beachfront as perfect waves break on the sand; if you are looking to develop a taste for the most Australian of pastimes (surfing), then Surfers Paradise is the place to do it. Venturing further up the coast, you’ll find Bundaberg Beach at Mon Repos which are famous for two things; rum and turtles. Both are best enjoyed at night when the turtles come ashore to lay their eggs (November to March), and when the rum is less likely to result in your falling asleep on the sand and getting sunstroke.

island is dotted with shipwrecks of all varieties, some providing excellent scuba diving adventures, while others have just become part of the scenery on the many beaches. The island is named after a famous shipwreck victim, Eliza Fraser, who wrote up an “elaborated” account of her adventures on the island.

The most popular way to explore the island is to load up a 4x4 with all the necessaries and just drive round, stopping each time at a part of the island that tickles your fancy and then moving on to find another as your whim dictates. Whatever your route and motivations, be sure to pay a visit to Lake Wobby and Lake Mackenzie. This vast sand island is scattered with lakes and streams, but these are two of the best.

The geography of the island may be completely unique, but the island and its waters are still inhabited by Australia’s favourites, dolphins, turtles, rays and sharks, however, you’ll also find dingoes mooching around the island.

You can get to the island by ferry from Rainbow Beach or Hervey Bay, and you can get to Hervey Bay by a long drive or via plane from Australia’s main airports.

Brisbane

Fraser Island

Fraser Island is simply breathtaking. So much so that, in the native Aboriginal language, it is called ‘Paradise’ ( or K’gari) and with crystal clear waters lapping the pristine white shore, it isn’t difficult to see why. Just back from the shore, tropical forests grow straight out of sand dunes, providing a unique eco-system for plants and animals. While this description paints a slightly one dimensional view of the island, there is also a darker side; fierce storms and tricky sailing conditions mean the

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A laid-back place, despite being Australia’s third largest city, it comes with all the perks of city living without the hyperactivity and the stress. Regularly featured highly on lists of most livable cities and straddling the Brisbane River, the city lacks any natural beaches, but not to be left out from this most Australian of traditions, a man made feature was created on the city’s South Bank. If au naturel is more your thing, some of the islands at the mouth of the river rival Fraser Island for beauty.

If you’re looking for a bit of nightlife or hostels to stay in whilst in Brisbane, then head to the Fortitude Valley and New Farm areas. Brisbane acts as a great starting point for many an adventure. Islands such as North Sandbroke and Moreton can stand

toe-to-toe with pristine beaches anywhere else in the world, while Mount French and Widgee Mountain are full of activities such as rock climbing, four wheel drives, horse riding and spectacular views, and both within a two hour drive of the city.

There is also Australia Zoo, just over an hour from Brisbane and opened by the parents of The Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. Brisbane also hosts the oldest and largest koala sanctuary in the world.

Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, in the Brisbane suburb of Fig Tree Pocket, rehabilitates and re-releases stricken animals, but before that, they allow their visitors to get up close and personal and hold koalas, and feed and pet some of their smaller kangaroos.

Great Barrier Reef

It is one of the wonders of the natural world. A state icon of Queensland, the system contains 2,500 individual reefs, and is home to 1,500 species of fish, over 400 types of coral and 250 species of birds - not to mention the mollusks, sponges and crustaceans. As you would expect from an area containing all this, it is vast, covering 348,000 square miles and can easily be seen from the air, but the best views are to be had by getting your feet wet. Over two million people visit the reef each year, snorkeling, scuba diving, using glass-bottomed boats, or staying in one of the resorts on the reefs 27 islands that support a little extra tourism.

The reef, which generates an estimated $5 billion in revenue, is a constant battleground for environmentalists, as rising water levels and temperatures threaten the reef’s integrity.

There are also parts where the reef has become bleached and the vibrant colours replaced with stone like structures.

If you are in this part of the world, you will kick yourself for years to come if you don’t visit the spectacular underwater scenery the Great Barrier Reef has to offer; just choose how adventurous you want to be and get involved.

Airlie Beach

One of those places. The type you get a postcard from and you think the view depicted on the front can’t possibly be real. It isn’t just pristine sand and ridiculously clear waters, oh no, there is enough going on round Airlie Beach to keep you entertained in between those hours spent relaxing and indulging in water sports.

A bit of a hotspot for artists and street performers, there are numerous little shops offering up cheap meals to those fresh off the beach, and an abundance of boat trips on offer to all sorts of locations and for a number of durations. For a small town, there is a great selection of nightlife of all varieties, including restaurants, bars and nightclubs. Seeing as it’s jam-packed with restaurants and bars, you’ll definitely feel in the holiday mood as soon as you touch down.

Airlie Beach acts as a great access point to the Great Barrier Reef and Whitsunday Islands, making it a great departure point and destination all at the same time. From Airlie Beach, you are able to embark upon tours of the Whitsunday Islands, the Great Barrier Reef and a whole variety of water sports including scuba diving, snorkling, sailing and even cruises.

Whitsundays

The Whitsundays were discovered and named by British explorer, Captain Cook on a Whitsunday - hence the name. Misleading as the name may be, the Whitsundays are actually the name given to the chain of 74 tropical islands to make your eyes pop out of your head in amazement.

They are located between Townsville and Mackay, however, Airlie Beach is the main gateway to this paradise. As an added bonus, the Whitsundays are also only moments away from the Great Barrier Reef.

To get the most from a visit to the islands, book a boat trip out. There are numerous packages on offer from day trips, ferry services over to the resorts, and island-hopping adventures lasting a couple of days or a week on board a large sailing boat.

The islands are a Mecca for sailors and with plenty of coves and bays to anchor in, this is definitely the most idyllic way to explore this chain of island paradises. You can even make base camp on one of the larger islands, such as Hamilton Island, and travel to the smaller ones from there. These islands are like something out of ‘Lost’ and with their eerie silence, you might even think you’ve died and been transported to the Garden of Eden. But remember, when you’re on the islands, you’ll probably have to do a fair amount of cycling, walking or driving a buggy as there are no cars there, making it one of the cleanest environments you’ll be confronted with. The Whitsundays really are a very special and enchanting place.

Cape Tribulation

If BBM was Captain Cook and our ship had just ran aground off the shores of a new land, the place would probably be called Cape Sonofabitch. Luckily we’re not Cook and he made the better choice of Cape Tribulation. The irony is clear now that despite Captain Cook’s admission that Cape Tribulation is so called “because here began all our troubles,” it is probably one of the most relaxed and tranquil places in the world. Famed for its ancient rainforest, sandy shores and rugged mountains, this is a natural orgy for your senses.

But don’t be fooled, Cape Tribulation isn’t only an endless forest where you’ll be expected to shit outdoors and live off the land. It’s actually one of the most popular day trips and only 100km north of Cairns. Although rainfall can be worse than an Irish summer at times. Wet season is between December and June, so make sure you book wisely to warn off a wash out! What also should be noted during wet season is that you should never go swimming in the sea due to the sizeable population of non-cuddly animals - especially at night. Now, we have never professed to be geniuses, but we will offer a bit of advice for you based on some of our experiences. Attempting to carry a female into the sea for a nighttime skinny dipping session and some type of drunken mating ritual will result in regret. And be sure not to mistake the poor girl’s screams of warning for flirtatious squeals of delight.

It would be hard to imagine such a place if you haven’t seen it yourself, Cape Tribulation is truly beautiful - but there is so much more to it than its appearance.

Whilst visiting Cape Tribulation you can partake in guided night walks, 4-wheel drive tours, horse riding, kayaking, jungle surfing, and crocodile tours are all available.

Jungle Surfing certainly is a great activity to choose to cruise through the forest canopy, whilst perhaps giving off some Tarzan style vocals. The staff at Jungle Surfing are all very friendly and professional so you don’t ever feel uncomfortable as you dangle from high above the rainforest floor. Zip lines allow you to move up and down the trees to see the forest life like a nimble monkey. It’s a great adventure activity for all ages and no experience is required so even you can do it!

For the animal lovers amongst you, you’ll be able to see some of the world’s rarest wildlife, from Bennett’s tree-kangaroos, Daintree River ringtail possums and southern cassowaries, some birds also migrate from New Guinea including our favouritely named buff-breasted paradise-kingfishers, which have really long tails and pied imperial-pigeons which arrive in huge flocks to breed. , which arrive in large flocks.

During the winter months, migrating humpback whales are often seen from the beaches.

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TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

WESTERN AUSTRALIA to tourists, even domestic ones, but that all changed when the area was added to the Nambung National Park. Today, this strange landscape attracts 250,000 visitors a year.

The best time of year to visit is between August and October when the wild flowers bloom, and the best time of day is in the morning or evening, when the sun is less oppressive and the shadows add an extra dimension to the structures. You might also get to see some kangaroos and emus enjoying a gentle stroll.

For those Billy Conolly fans amongst you, you may have seen the jovial Scot dance through The Pinnacles in the nude at the end of his ‘World Tour of Australia’ - but leave it to the professionals, please. The Nambung National Park is two hours drive north of Perth along the Indian Ocean Drive, which presents a picturesque drive, especially now Billy’s put his willy away.

Margaret River From its exquisite landscapes with distances sprawling hundreds of miles, to the epic visions to behold on the Ningaloo Reef, and harbouring the most isolated city in the world, Western Australia opens up the gateway to a real slice of what Australia is all about.

Here we look at Western Australia’s top attractions...

Perhaps the forgotten state of Australia when it comes to tourism, the distances involved mean most people arrive in, and stick to, the East Coast. It may not have the world-famous destinations boasted by the other side of the country, but travelling the path least trod can have advantages of its own, not least avoiding the crowds.

This is changing, however. More and more people are heading to WA, partly in response to relatives relocating. The state, and Perth especially, has the highest percentage of European-born residents anywhere in Australia.

The region is currently experiencing a boom in population, and, with it, something of a renaissance, with the arts especially flourishing. The distance from the usual hubs of Sydney and Melbourne mean many TV stations have additional studios in Perth, and the performing arts are also on the up.

Until now, the two most famous sons of Perth, at least for a British audience, would have been Pendulum and Rolf Harris (how’s that for diversity?), but expect that to change over the next few years.

If you want to be able to say, “I was there before everyone knew it was cool”, book a flight to Western Australia.

Ningaloo Reef

A reef is a reef, right? Wrong. Ningaloo Reef is the largest fringing reef in the world. Which, in layman’s terms pretty much means it is the most accessible way to experience the wonders of a coral reef.

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Unlike its illustrious cousin ‘The Great Barrier Reef’ over on the Gold Coast, Ningaloo is easier to get to from the shore, and is a lot shallower, meaning there’s less call for specialist kit and skills. What it doesn’t mean is that the views are any less spectacular.

The reef is known for the regular visits of the world’s largest fish, the Whale Shark, who come to feed from March until June. Despite measuring up to 16 feet long, these spotted sharks are extremely docile and appear completely unconcerned by the presence of divers. Other famous visitors include Manta rays and dolphins. Between June and November, the area surrounding the reef is inhabited by migrating Humpback Whales. You need to venture a little further out, (and on a boat) to catch a glimpse of these magnificent creatures, but they are well worth trying to find on a day trip on one of the many Whale watching cruises on offer in the area.

Exmouth is the best town to head to for access to the reef, but if you have a snorkel and a tent, then you are pretty much free to pick your spot and have a look below. The area is quite isolated and is a twohour flight, or two-day drive from Perth.

The Pinnacles

The Pinnacles are often described as the closest most of us will get to walking on the moon.

Sandstone outcrops surrounded by sand produce a unique setting; so much so that scientists simply can’t agree on how they formed.

Prior to the 1960s, the area was relatively unknown

A relatively small town nearly 300 km south of Perth (in the local government zone of the Shire of Augusta-Margaret River), Margaret River nonetheless packs a formidable punch for its size.

Perhaps not as well-known as the Adelaide Hills or Hunter Valley, it is a wine-growing region of some pedigree and is full of boutique vineyards producing small quantity, but high quality. In terms of national production, Margaret River only produces three per cent of all wine grown in Australia, but accounts for 20 per cent of sales of Australian premium wine.

They produce a little of everything, from big red Shiraz to crisp clean Chenin Blanc.

Not just for the wine aficionados of this world, Margaret River also boasts an excellent collection of caves complete with fossils and impressive selections of stalagmites and stalactites (stalagmites come from the floor, stalactites from the ceiling). The most famous, Mammoth Cave, can be explored by simply wandering around with an audio description; some of the others require a little more forward planning.

With the ocean so close, there is, of course, the surf. Surfers Point offers excellent breakers and is close to the mouth of the river, which gives the town its name. Margaret River is a great spot for camping, with some great sites such as Big Valley Caravan Park from which the town and the beach are easily accessible, or the Margaret River Tourist Park, located in the town itself. However, there is also beachside camping available at other spots such as Prevally, if you’re on a surfing holiday - it’s the perfect location!

Great Wine, Great surf. Need we say more?

Rottnest Island

Lying 18km off the coast, this small island provides the perfect day trip from Perth or Fremantle.

Christened ‘Rott Nest’ (meaning rat nest) by a Dutch explorer who mistook the Quokka marsupials for giant rats, the island is now an A-class reserve with no private land ownership or cars allowed, meaning cycling is the main form of transport around this 19 sq km island. However, there are buses that will

take you around the island to all the popular coves and the few eateries and shops should cycling prove too energetic for you in the heat. It’s important to remember when you get to the island to stock up on any snacks and plenty of water as there are only shops near the jetty, where you’ll also find a couple of cafes.

Over its history, the island has been used for a variety of internments. It was a prison for Aborigines between 1838 and 1931, housed a reform school for boys at the turn of the 20th century, and was used to hold Italian nationals during the Second World War, with most of these structures now turned into tourist facilities.

These days, it a popular short stay destination. There is excellent diving around the limestone reefs, and a snorkel trail with underwater plaques explaining the underwater environment to divers, along with various shipwrecks and lobster potting. There is an annual comedy and short film festival usually held in

September, and regular open water swim races from the mainland to the Rottnest. With accommodation so limited, the island has to ballot during the January and Easter holidays, and every November plays host to school leavers from across Western Australia, with visitors having to show their recently defunct school ID cards to gain entry to the island.

Rottnest is a haven for wildlife, with a wealth of rare plants and animals, the most famous of which is the small wallaby-like Quokka, with the island being one of its last remaining habitats. Dolphins and Humpback Whales frequent the waters, along with Australian Sea Lions, and a whole host of bird species for the more ornitholically curious amongst you.

You can get a ferry to “Rotto” from Perth, Fremantle and Hillarys on the mainland, with the journey taking about 25 minutes and costing around $36.

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GLOBAL WATCH

Sri Lanka

Hanging like a teardrop from the southern tip of India, circled by rows of palm-fringed beaches; its mountainous interior is decorated with ancient cities and lush green jungles, inhabited by roaming elephant and leopard; the rising highlands are consumed with cool, crisp air, endless rivers of emerald-coloured tea plantations and tumbling waterfalls - Sri Lanka, quite simply, is a paradise island.

Upon arrival of the country’s capital, Colombo, the combination of strong western influences and traditional Sri Lankan lustre will be apparent; it’s the best place to be if you’re looking to have an active nightlife on your holiday. The city’s emerging nightlife comprises of a variety of clubs, casinos, bars and pubs with guests enjoying a mixture of sounds, occasionally from local DJs and live bands.

As roads are often traffic-ridden, the easiest and cheapest form of transport is train - the trains from Colombo travel to all the major cities of Sri Lanka.

Beaches

Since Sri Lanka is an island, it is dominated by coastlines of golden sand surrounded by a glistening blue Indian Ocean, making it the perfect destination for a beach holiday. The island’s sandy, palm tree-lined beaches are as idyllic as they come, and offer a multitude of water sport activities, as well as affordable accommodation and restaurants.

The picturesque beach of Hikkaduwa, located on the south coast, boasts colourful coral gardens and rolling turquoise waves, making it the ideal location for surfing and snorkelling. Glass-bottomed boats and equipment hire are available from shops along the beachfront. Hikkaduwa is also well-known for its upbeat nightlife, with many parties being held on the beach.

Another beach that has increased in surfing popularity in recent years is Arugam Bay, situated on the east coast; with its world-class waves, laidback atmosphere, simple restaurants and cabanas, Arugam Bay has undeniably adopted its own surfing culture.

Wildlife

Although Sri Lanka is relatively small, the diverse ecological conditions and conservation practices welcomes a diverse range of wildlife; you can have the amazing experience of seeing these exotic creatures in their natural habitat. There are a total of nine national parks and seven bird sanctuaries that can be visited.

This includes the serene Udawalawe National Park, a wildlife sanctuary that protects an array of wonderful creatures like intelligent Asian elephants, curious old world monkeys and the elusive leopard.

For a better chance to see a leopard, stopover at Wilpattu National Park, acclaimed for its thriving leopard population. Wilpattu Park is the largest national park in Sri Lanka, the ancient forest and tall grasslands make a habitat to over forty different animals including sloths, water buffalo, elephants and mugger crocodile.

Taking boating trips on the west coast beaches, at certain times, can also be an incredible chance to see whales, dolphins and large sea turtles.

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Historical Sites

With a rich history spanning over 2,500 years, there are various world heritage sites to visit, including The Fort in the historic city of Galle, which showcases the city’s diverse heritage from Portuguese colonialism: the rock fortress of Yapahuwa with intricately carved rock statues and captivating temple paintings.

Within the Cultural Triangle, nestled in the heart of Sri Lanka, history is embedded in the steep, leafy hills among the ancient capitals of Anuradhapura in the north, Polonnaruwa in the east and Kandy in the south.

Visiting these historic sites also provides an excellent opportunity for hiking; the challenging climb to the top of Sri Pada (Adam’s Peak) displays mighty mountains and flourishing tea plantations.

Cuisine

Sri Lankan cuisine is a unique blend of vibrant spices, compelling fragrances and complex textures; the food you will come across on your travels has strong South Indian and Malaysian influence, but is distinctive from the use of coconut and the pungent flavours. Food in Sri Lanka is an integral part of the culture, specially prepared dishes play a vital role in traditions and festivals so, rest assured, an abundance of scrumptious delicacies await you. A broad range of restaurants, cafés and food stalls frame every street and, since Sri Lankan food is known to be particularly spicy, it’s not unusual to ask them to cater to your individual preferences.

Nightlife & Restaurants

For a little sophistication, check out the multipurpose venue, The Library. Yep, it’s exactly that, a library by day and club at night.

Trans Asia Hotel, 155 Sir Chittampalam Gardiner Mawatha, Colombo 02 The popular theme bar, Cricket Club Café, reflects the country’s love of cricket. Decorated with cricket memorabilia and videos, it serves reasonably priced, high quality bar food.

34 Queens Road, Off Duplication Road, Colombo 02 Glow Bar is the place to be; it’s trendy and lively atmosphere usually attracts the younger crowd.

42A, Sir Mohamed Marcan Marker Mawatha, Colombo 03 If you’re feeling a little homesick, then head down to the Inn on the Green, the traditional English pub stocks an impressive selection of imported beers and pub grub.

Galle Road, Colombo 03 Palmyrah Restaurant in Hotel Renuka serves some of the best traditional food, as well as superb western dishes.

328 Galle Road, Colombo 03 The quaint eatery, Chutnee, offers delicious traditional food at low prices.

Schofield Place (on Marine Drive), Colombo 03

By Erica Mahendren

Travel Essentials...

Each month, we bring you the best in travel essentials that we’ve tried and tested. From gadgets to cosmetics, here’s the best products we’ve found this month!

Energie ChargeGenie

Are you always forgetting to pack your phone charger? With the new light and compact Energie ChargeGenie, you’ll be able to recharge your phone anytime, anywhere.

It’s the world’s first universal portable smartphone charger, compatible with all Android and Windows phones, and Blackberry handsets. Its best feature is that you can still operate the phone while it administers an emergency charge.

So as long as one of your family members or friends remembers to pack it, you’ll never have a dead phone on holiday again. $36 available from www.energie4u.co.uk

Paper Travel Soap

When soap is not at hand, the Paper Travel Soap is one of the most hygienic and convenient ways of cleaning your hands.

It contains 30 rose-scented soap sheets, which dissolve when adding a little water to clear away grime, working just like normal soap.

It’s so compact, it’ll easily slip into your purse and is completely safe to carry on aeroplanes. $4 available from www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk

ViewRanger GPS Mapping App If you’re planning on an active holiday, walking or cycling in an unfamilar territory, then be sure to get this nifty ViewRanger GPS Mapping App. It holds tens of thousands of local and travel routes from all over the world, which you can easily download and follow, without needing a mobile phone signal. Plus you can add photos, videos and tweets of your travels which can then be uploaded onto Facebook and Twitter.

So you’ll be able to explore and capture off the beaten track paths more easily without the worry of getting lost!

Free app available from www.viewranger.com

GymCube

Keep fit whilst on your travels with this virtual gym from GymCube.

You’ll be able to watch and partake in a selection of exercise classes and fitness workouts by professional trainers, streamed straight to your Internet enabled device.

The first month is completely free, so why not start the day with a quick workout and feel refreshed and ready for a busy day exploring. $9 a month available from www.gymcube.com

I Luv Sweet Cotton High-Fidelity Stereo Headphones

These funky and fashionable headphones deliver a rich musical sound, so you’ll be able to listen to your favourite tunes in outstanding quality, just the way music should be.

Its best feature is its compatibility with the iPhone, so you’ll be able to answer your incoming calls with SpeakEZremote as well.

Available in a range of bright attractive colours, these headphones double up as a great fashion accessory and a travel necessity. $30 available from www.iluv.com

Digital Luggage Scales After Sun And Body Moisturiser

Dreading your suitcase will weigh twice as much on the way home after your cheeky holiday shopping spree?

This all-natural face and body moisturiser is the perfect remedy for protecting and replenishing sun-exposed skin.

Well these digital luggage scales will solve your problem, so you’ll never have to panic again! They can manage a weight of 50kg which is enough to cover the maximum weight of even the most generous airlines.

Sized at 118 ml, it contains organic aloe vera, organic shea butter and organic rose hip seed oil - key ingredients for keeping your skin smooth and soft.

Plus, they’ll fit in the palm of your hand, so you’ll never want to go on holiday without them again.

$16 available from www.aubreyorganicsuk.co.uk

$17.50 available from www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk

www.bbmlive.com 27

GLOBAL WATCH

WORLD’S BEST

S B U L C SMALL

Grand Rokk – Reykjavik, Iceland

Grand Rokk might be small in size, but the atmosphere it projects is huge. You’ll be able to warm yourself up on a cold night with their fine selection of heart-warming whiskies whilst watching some of the best live acts in town.

If you’re sick of spending more time queuing up at the bar for a drink instead of throwing your best shapes on the dance-floor, check out some of these more intimate clubs that all come with a dash of personality and a friendly atmosphere.

Elbo Room – Chicago, USA

If you want to see what Chicago’s local music scene has to offer, Elbo Room is the place to be. This dingy yet charming Lakeview hideout hosts bands everyday of the week and, best of all, cheap beers are always on the menu.

Eve – Miami, USA

Despite having multiple rooms, Eve is dubbed one of the smaller nightclubs in Miami. There’s something for everyone; you can listen to a DJ, see a live band or lounge in the outdoor quarter all in the same night. What more could you want?

O Ultra Lounge – Cancun, Mexico

This exclusive club offers a personalised service to all its guests, and has an extensive collection of drinks and exotic cocktails on offer. So head down to O Ultra Lounge for a night of sheer elegance and relax in its ambient electronic atmosphere.

Boox – Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

If you fancy adding a bit of class to your night out, Boox is the place for you. It can be quite difficult to gain access, to, however, if you’re lucky enough to get in, you will experience an unforgettable sassy and sophisticated night out in one of the country’s sought after social hotspots.

Fiction – Cape Town, South Africa

Fiction is the perfect hangout spot for any alternative music lover or dance enthusiast.

It’s kitted out with video games and themed drinks, making it a great choice if you’re searching for a chilled atmosphere to catch up with friends.

Farbfernseher – Berlin, Germany

If you come across a gaggle of people formed in an untidy queue, it’s likely they’re awaiting entry to one of the smallest, yet wildest house music venues in Berlin. Go join them, party hard and prepare for a mental night you’ll never forget.

Hot House – Tokyo, Japan

Now you couldn’t get a venue any smaller than Hot House; it could even be the world’s smallest jazz club. The serving of homestyle Japanese bites makes this a truly intimate experience any jazz lover must see.

V*V – Beijing, China

If you’re looking for a good night out in Beijing, but nothing too wild, V*V is the club for you. It’s home to Hip-hop and loud bass, and has a vibrant and friendly atmosphere.

Plus entry is free, so it ticks all the boxes!

GoodGod Small Club– Sydney, Australia

This intimate, subterranean tropical fun house makes a great social spot to enjoy drinks after work, as well the place to be if you fancy working up a sweat to your favourite anthems. You’ll hear everything from Jamaican dancehall reggae to 80s electro-funk, so be sure to bring your dancing shoes.

LIONS TOUR BAR GUIDE SPECIAL

The Lions Squad 2013...

Full Backs

Leigh Halfpenny - Wales, Cardiff Blues Stuart Hogg - Scotland, Glasgow Warriors Rob Kearney - Ireland, Leinster

Wings

Tommy Bowe - Ireland, Ulster Alex Cuthbert - Wales, Cardiff Blues Sean Maitland - Scotland, Glasgow Warriors George North - Wales, Scarlets

Centres

Jonathan Davies - Wales, Scarlets Brian O’Driscoll - Ireland, Leinster Jamie Robers - Wales, Cardiff Blues Manusamoa Tuilagi - England, Leicester Tigers

Outside Halves

Owen Farrell - England, Saracens Jonathan Sexton - Ireland, Leinster

What Lies Ahead For The Mighty Lions The Lions tour is a sporting event like no other. The home nations standing together, putting aside hundreds of years of sporting, political and military rivalry as the best players from England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland are selected to take on the best of the southern hemisphere on their own patch.

Being selected as the best these isles have to offer, plus the gap in years between each tour, make a Lions tour a unique opportunity for the players: the chance to line up and play alongside those who they usually only get to see as opponents.

As clubs seek to sign the best players they can get regardless of passport considerations, the Lions tour could have suffered a diminishing of its lure, but not a bit of it. The tradition, the folklore, and the honour of being picked still hold sway.

Scrum Halves

As it is for players, so too for fans. As much as we love the rivalry between nations, and despite the history - some of it all too recent, which would appear to divide us - this is the only sporting event in which we unite to put together a collective team, to cheer as one. For World Cups we divide; for the Olympics Ireland stands alone, for the Lions it’s all for one, and one for all. And the excitement we feel, feeds into the opposition.

Props

The Lions only come together every four years; they only turn up in Australia every 12 years. Constraints of time and of the body mean most Aussies will only get to face the Lions once in their rugby careers, and that is if they are lucky. You can have a 10 year career at the top of your sport, but if you don’t time it right, you can fall entirely between tours.

Conor Murray - Ireland, Munster Mike Phillips - Wales, Bayonne Ben Youngs - England, Leicester Tigers

Dan Cole - England,Saracens Cian Healy - Ireland, Leinster Gethin Jenkins - Wales, Toulon Adam Jones - Wales, Ospreys Matt Stevens - England, Saracens Mako Vunipola - England, Saracens

Hookers

Dylon Hartley - England, Northampton Saints Richard Hibbard - Wales, Ospreys Tom Youngs - England, Leicester Tigers

Locks

Ian Evans - Wales, Ospreys Richie Gray - Scotland, Sale Sharks Alun Wyn Jones - Wales, Ospreys Paul O’Connell - Ireland, Munster Geoff Parling - England, Leicester Tigers

Back Rows

Tom Croft - England, Leicester Tigers Toby Faletau - Wales, Newport Gwent Dragons Jamie Heaslip - Ireland, Leinster Dan Lydiate - Wales, Newport Gwent Dragons Sean O’Brien - Ireland, Leinster Justin Tipuric - Wales, Ospreys Sam Warburton - Wales, Cardiff Blues

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Even to John Eales, Australia’s most successful captain and two times World Cup winner, the Lions stand out. “I had to wait 10 years to play against the Lions. It was the reason I played that extra year, I wasn’t going to miss a once-in-a-career opportunity. Each Lions series has its own DNA and 2013 will be no different.”

This uniqueness, the rarity, the history, these are what make a Lions tour worth following; there are no second chances. Great players have only made one Lions tour, and great opponents have never faced one. It all feeds back to ensure one thing: high quality rugby.

Despite everything, the shackles are off. There is no building for future tours, no trophies to be won with tournament mentality and tactics, the pressures that come with playing international rugby are in some ways lifted with the onus just on going out onto the field to play the best rugby you can play.

The snarky aspect that can infect international games is replaced with mutual respect. These are exhibition games of how good rugby can be, but ones both teams desperately, want to win.

The final word goes to Lions chairman, Gerald Davies. “To me, the Lions represent the spirit, values and principles of rugby football. Four countries come together as one with a purpose to win and to me it is that comradeship, sportsmanship and bond that makes the Lions so special. It is about these players, who are the very best in their countries, embracing that enterprise, loyalty, courage and happiness of the Lions.”

Coogee Bay Hotel There’s no need to look anywhere else but Coogee Bay Hotel for great food, entertainment, accommodation and service, all just a short stroll from the beach. Eat at The Brasserie with a menu of steak, lobster and chicken to choose from; drink at a choice of seven bars including Selina’s nightclub, the Beach Bar, Lounge Royale, TAB, Arden Lounge, the Sports Bar and Sydney’s biggest Beer Garden; and stay in three-star budget or four-star boutique rooms to suit any budget.

Upcoming Events : 25th - 26th May Jazz & Shiraz Festival - celebrate wine and food, alongside live music and giveaways.

Specials : $15 Daily meal specials served 10am-10pm The Bay’s Aussie BBQ Experience: Cook Your Own – Fri 5pm-10pm, Sat & Sun 12pm-10pm

18th May Wolf Blass Wine Dinner - enjoy a 6-course meal served with matching wines for $75 pp.

WIN :

State Of Origin: book a table to watch the game at Selina’s and win prizes such as a VIP couch experience in the Sports Bar or four tickets to game three in Sydney.

There are three chances to win a Mini Dirt Pocket Bike worth $1,400 during June, July and August. All you have to do is purchase a product, worth $10 or more, featured during the broadcast of Super 15’s games, NRL Monday & Friday games or The Ashes Series.

8th June Anthems Of The UK - Listen to all your classic UK favourites by artists such as Oasis, Coldplay and The Beatles performed by a live band.

7th June Tiki Taane - watch multi platinum award winning artist Tiki Taane perform his acoustic/MC show in Selina’s with Optimus Gryme and Misfits of Zion.

Contact : 253 Cooge Bay Road, Coogee, Sydney (02) 9665 0000 www.coogeebayhotel.com.au

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YOUR GUIDE TO SYDNEY Close to the stadium :

Bat & Ball One of Surry Hills’ most inviting and warming pubs, the Bat & Ball is in a prime location for social drinks prior to of after games at the stadium.

495 Cleveland Street, Surry Hills, Sydney (02) 9699 3782 www.thebatandball.com.au Coach & Horses Hotel Recently renovated with a sports bar, a lounge bar, and a beer garden, as well as boasting outdoor areas both upstairs and downstairs, the Coach & Horses Hotel suits everyone’s needs, when it comes to refreshments.

147, Avoca Street, Randwick (02) 9399 3005 www.coachandhorseshotel.com.au Imperial Hotel Paddington A family owned pub for over 100 years, the Imperial Hotel sits at the gateway to Paddington precinct offering a range of great beers and beef-steaks.

252 Oxford Street, Paddington (02)9331 2023 info@imperialhotelpaddington.com.au

Places to munch :

The Beresford Hotel A place of tranquility serving first class cuisine, The Beresford Hotel is for those looking for something a little bit special.

354 Bourke Street, Surry Hills (02) 8313 5000 www.merivale.com.au/theberesfordhotel The Sugar Mill Order $10 steak every day until 10pm in this unique setting that combines the creature comforts of your local tavern with a modern quirkiness, at Kings Cross’ The Sugar Mill.

33-37 Darlinghurst Road, Kings Cross (02) 9368 7333 www.sugarmill.com.au Clovelly Hotel A local pub that suits that serves up fantastic meals every day of the week, it’s certainly a good fill-up stop if you’re in need to fuel before or after the games.

381 Clovelly Road, Clovelly (02) 9665 1214 www.clovellyhotel.com.au

ones for the “bucket” list :

Opera Bar Expect a memorable evening out at The Opera Bar, as you will have a stunning view of possibly the most iconic Australian landmark – The Sydney Opera House.

Lower Concourse Level, Sydney Opera House, Sydney 02 9247 1666 www.operabar.com.au The Rook Pop to The Rook for their specialty lobster, burgers and liquor, and finish with a deep-fried Mars bar with rum & raisin ice cream. A happy heart attack if you will.

56-58 York Street, Sydney (02) 9262 2505 www.therook.com.au Manly Wharf Hotel The Manly Wharf Hotel sits right on the harbour with beautiful views and a relaxed atmosphere, perfect for a glass of wine with friends.

Manly Wharf, East Esplanade, Manly (02) 9977 1266 www.manlywharfhotel.com.au

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Palace Hotel The Palace Hotel Sydney is by far one of Sydney’s best city pubs with a great selection of draft beers on tap, cocktail promotions, a fantastic wine list - and to top it off, it’s home to award-winning chef Daniel Collins.

Situated in the Haymarket area on George Street, the Palace Hotel Sydney is one of the best pubs to enjoy a drink with friends after a hard day of sightseeing, at the office, or for a pre theatre meal and beverage.

If you fancy something more uplifting, then why not catch a live band in The Square, or watch the late night live sports such as English Premier League or Scottish Premier League without the usual crowd that can tend to frequent the other local 24-hour sports bars.

Specials : Wednesdays – ½ Rack of Ribs & Schooner of any James Squire Beer $17.90 11am-10pm Thursdays – Seafood & Meat Tray Raffle from 5pm Fridays – Free Prawn Cutlets 5-6pm

Contact : 730-742 George Street, Haymarket, Sydney (02) 9212 2111 www.palacehotelsydney.com.au

tea gardens hotel One of the main attractions at Bondi Junction, the Tea Gardens Hotel was the first hotel in the area, dating back to 1854. Since then, its clientele has grown beyond Sydney, and is widely recognized as a prime spot for entertainment.

Hosting DJs and live acts every night is their number one priority to give partygoers one of the best nights out Sydney can offer.

What’s On : Mondays – Joker Poker from 7pm Tuesdays – Songwriters’ competition with $500 prize and Trivia Tuesdays Wednesdays – Members’ Badge Draw from 7.30pm Thursdays – R&B DJ Def Rock Fridays – start the weekend with Jayson Mixx and The Hornstar Saturdays & Sundays – join DJ Demo for Sexy Sats and Sunday Sess @ the Tea

Contact: 2-4 Bronte Road, Bondi Junction, Sydney (02) 9389 3288 www.teagardenshotel.com.au

Paragon hotel A stylish two level hotel in the heart of Circular Quay, The Paragon has a traditional public bar on the ground floor, opening out onto a courtyard beer garden and park. The Top Bar, a superb live music venue, shows some of Sydney’s best party bands from Thursday to Sunday, followed by DJ’s set to take you through the rest of your night. With Guinness, Bulmers and Jamesons starting from just $5 you’ll be sure to have a great time. Generous servings of modern Australian style bar food are available all day, from share platters to burgers, steaks and hearty meals.

Upcoming Events : 2nd May Sax & the City Launch Party – relax with the sounds of saxophone and percussion and $10 cocktails.

3rd May Carbon Copy 2-Piece – a staple act for Friday nights at the Top Bar. 4th May Electric Anthems – Saturday nights are charged and ready to go with $5 cocktails.

specials : Monday – All Day $12 Burger Meal Deal Tuesday- All Day $12 Rump Steak & Chips and Trivia Night cash prize Wednesday – All Day $10 Chicken Parmigiana Thursday – Ribs $19, Cocktails $10 5-8pm Saturday: All-day $14 breakfast and late closing

5th May Dan Callan Duo – Have a lazy Sunday afternoon listening to an acoustic set by Dan Callan joined by Jess Smith.

Sunday: All-day $12 Sunday roast with live music in the courtyard

Whats on :

Contact :

Monday – Free Pool 6-8pm Tuesday – Trivia Tuesdays from 6pm Thursday – Members’ Badge Draw Thurs-Sun – Live Bands

Corner Loftus & Alfred Street, Circular Quay, Sydney (02) 9241 3522 www.hotelparagon.com.au

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YOUR GUIDE TO SYDNEY

*Fixtures* June 1 - Lions v Barbarians - Hong Kong (1930 - local time) June 5 - Lions v Western Force - Perth (1800local time) June 8 - Lions v Queensland Reds – Brisbane (1930 - local time) June 12 - Lions v Combined New South Wales/ Queensland Country – Newcastle (1930 - local time) June 15 - Lions v New South Wales Waratahs – Sydney (1930 - local time) June 18 - Lions v ACT Brumbies – Canberra (1930 - local time) June 22 - Lions v Australia – Brisbane (2000 - local time) June 25 - Lions v Melbourne Rebels – Melbourne (1930 - local time) June 29 - Lions v Australia – Melbourne (2000 local time) July 6 - Lions v Australia – Sydney (2000 local time)

Probably Sydney’s most famous bar. It’s been partying for 12 years and hasn’t slowed down.

The 1970’s themed beer garden by the harbour is a great place to eat, drink and dance.

It’s pretty much as simple as that.Everybody knows & loves Cargo Bar.

Whats on :

Fridays @ Cargo Bar - Kick off the weekend with $5 drinks from 5-7pm 11th May - Super Rugby - Game 13 - Showing all games live, head down to Cargo Bar to support the Tahs 19th May - Live @ The Beer Garden - help your Sudnay along with live music in the sun-drenched beer garden.

specials : Monday - Wednesday Cargo Bar serves $10 Steaks. Available from 11.30 am.

Thursdays - After work drinks with beer, bubbles and vodka all $5 between 5-7pm

Contact: 52-60 The Promenade, Sydney (02) 926 1777 cargobar.com.au

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Whether looking for a cold beer in snug armchair or to soak up the lively atmosphere with traditional and contemporary music, P.J. O’Brien’s is the place to be for every Oyster eater, Guinness drinker or Irish lover. To accompany all this, there is regular broadcasting of live sports, such as The Lions Tour from 5th June to 6th July, and they promise to “be showing as many games live with sound as we can.”

Whats on : 9th May P.J’s Annual OysterFeast- all you can eat oysters from 6.30pm – 8.30pm for $55 pp Mon – Thurs P.J’s OysterHour – enjoy a dozen oysters for $13 or half a dozen for $8 between 3 and 6pm Wednesdays – Have a unique whiskey tasting experience in P.J’s Sidebar from 6pm til late Fridays – Thank Guinness It’s Friday between 5pm and 7pm with $7 pints, 2 for 1 cocktails and a dozen oysters for $13

Contact : 57 King Street, Sydney (02) 9290 1811 www.pjobriens.com.au

Sydney’s only waterside Tiki bar, taking inspiration from the flavours of the south pacific and boasting favourites like the whole suckling pig and coconut cocktails. Relax by day and party by night, escape to Bungalow 8, a harbourside oasis under a city skyline.

Whats on :

This June Long Weekend, Bungalow 8 will be pumping with awesome tunes, delicious food and drinks and great views of Sydney Harbour. Get taken away to your happy place with $15 cocktail jugs before 8pm. Enjoy the sunset with your friends in one of our tiki bars or let everything be taken care of by dining in our fully catered restaurant. Allow the night to unfold with our amazing DJs and great atmosphere. Don’t miss out, make a booking early.

specials :

Monday - Wednesday, $10 meals serves from 11am Sundays - Ladies Luau, with a glass of bubbles awaiting you upon arrival Fridays - Bungalow Nights - with $5 Pure Blondes, bubbly, and vodka between 5-7pm

Contact:

3 Lime Street, Sydney (02) 9299 4660 bungalow8sydney.com

YOUR GUIDE TO MELBOURNE Close To The Stadium : The Corner Hotel

The Corner Hotel offers rooftop drinking and dining, as well as some of the best gigs every night in the heart of Melbourne.

57 Swan Street, Richmond (03) 9427 9198

www.cornerhotel.com The Precinct Hotel

Whether your event is at AAMI Park, Road Laver Arena, MCG or Hisense Arena, begin or end your day at The Precinct Hotel with a few drinks.

60 Swan Street, Richmond (03) 9429 1633

www.precincthotel.com.au The Cricketers Arms

With a retractable roof in the beer garden, The Cricketers Arms is the perfect location for socialising all year round.

69 Cruikshank Street, Port Melbourne (03) 9646 3306

www.thecricketersarms.com.au

Grab a Munch : Bare Brass

Enjoy beautiful city views of Melbourne from morning to night as Bear Brass serves breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.

Southgate Arts & Leisure Precinct, Southbank, Melbourne (03) 9682 3799

www.bearbrass.com.au P.J. O’Brien’s

Have a taste of the Irish at P.J. O’Briens with pie & mash, Guinness and live music every night.

Southgate Arts & Leisure Precinct, Southbank, Melbourne (03) 9686 5011

www.pjobriens.com.au/southbank The Robert Burns Hotel

Inspired by dishes throughout Spain, The Roberts Burns Hotel is a fiesta fest as each region is visited.

Greatest Lions Moments The ‘99 Call’ and Undefeated Tour In 1974 the Lions went to South Africa and returned undefeated, 21 wins from 22 games with one draw. However, upset with the rough nature of South Africa’s play and the leniency awarded from the referees, the Lions dressing room decided on a 99 call. Meaning “One in. All in.” if one Lion retaliated the rest of the team would ‘get involved’ as well. The ref would have to send off the whole team, or no-one. The result was JPR Williams running half the length of the field to deck and opponent during the “Battle of Boet Erasmus Stadium.” Teamwork at its best.

Kangaroo Court Every wondered exactly what it is like on tour? Well thanks to the ‘Living with the Lions’ DVD you can experience some of it from a safe distance.

The iconic, not to mention a little disturbing, scene featuring members of the squad in fancy dress create a ‘court’ to punish (usually in the form of alcohol) those who committed offenses on tour has gone down in folklore. If you learn nothing else from this video, it is to not use your phone near Keith Wood, and that coach Ian McGeechan can glug his whisky.

Greatest Lion – Willie John McBride With Lions tours only every so often, most great players manage two tours, maybe three if timing is on their side. Willie John McBride, who didn’t start playing rugby until he was 17, went on five Lions tours appearing in 17 tests in the process. A rough-hewn lock from Ulster, he went through the bad times (1966’s tour to New Zealand) before captaining the undefeated team in 1974.

He is also created with creating the famous/infamous “99 call” and was an inaugural inductee into the Rugby Hall of Fame in 1997.

Jeremy Guscott’s Drop Goal 1-0 up in the three match series, the Lions went to Durban and were drawing 15-15 going into the final minutes. As it got scrappy, and players were dragged out of position, center Jeremy Guscott found himself at fly-half as the ball came out the ruck. With nobody on the overlap he decided to have a dig and slotted the series clinching kick straight between the posts. And what does Guscott have to say about his career defining moment? “I don’t really remember it. My overriding feeling is still ‘what if I’d missed?’” Well we’ve enjoyed your success Jez, even if you’re unable to.

376 Smith Street, Collingwood

BO’D Spear Tackled

www.robertburnshotel.com.au

The big one. The Lions, away to New Zealand. A hugely experienced squad is assembled along with the largest backroom staff ever all under the stewardship of World-Cup winning coach Sir Clive Woodwood. And it all went horribly wrong. The Lions are pulverized in every test match (and some of the warm up games as well). The misery possibly best summed up in the opening ten minutes of the first test as Captain Brian O’Driscoll is cleared out/ spear tackled from the ruck by Tana Umaga and Keven Mealamu, dislocates his shoulder and is carried off on a stretcher. Game, tour, and nearly the Lions altogether, over.

(03) 9417 2233

ones for the “bucket” list: Cookies Rooftop

Cookies boasts one of the longest bars in Melbourne on its Rooftop.

252 Swanston Street, Melbourne (03) 9663 7660

www.cookie.net.au

Telfer’s Everest Speech

Madame Brussels

Comparing facing the Springboks to tackling Everest, Lions coach Jim Telfer tells the scrum forwards, getting picked for the Lions is the easy compared to facing the ‘Boks. Using some old fashioned “look what they said about you” techniques, and a liberal lacing of expletives, Jim rallies his troops to look inside themselves and find the will to, in his words “to get right up in their faces, and turn them back, knock them back, out do what they can do. Out jump them, out shove them, out ruck them, out drive them, out tackle them, until they’re fucking sick of it.”

For the open-minded, Madame Brussels hosts Garden Parties, A Walk Down The Garden Path and other events with a naughty twist inspired by a brothelowner in the late 1800s/early 1900s.

Level 3, 59-63 Bourke Street, Melbourne (03) 9662 2775

www.madamebrussels.com

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YOUR GUIDE TO BRISBANE Interview: Scott Hastings We speak to two-time Lion player, and former Scotland Rugby Union player, Scott Hastings, about his predictions on the upcoming Lions Tour.

So, what have been two of your favourite Lions moments?

First time putting on the Lions jersey - I played against WA in Perth on the last winning Lions tour to Oz, and for me, representing the Lions was very special, in that I was wearing a jersey that so many great players from the past had also pulled on. [Also] Winning the test series on the tour to Oz and playing in the second and third test wins with Gavin [Hastings].

A tough question, but we’re going to push you anyway; who would make your starting XV for the Lions tour?

Halfpenny, North, Davies, Roberts, Sexton, Cuthbert, Philips, Healy, Youngs, Jones, O’Connel, Grey, Warburton, Healsip, [and] Tiperic.

Given the power of the Lions forwards, many are predicting them to whitewash the Aussies. What are your predictions?

2-1 to the Lions - whoever loses the first test will win the second!

Withrivalries between the four Lions nations, how difficult is it to put those differences aside to play as a team?

Differences need to be put aside, and an enjoyable tour comes with good leadership, and laying down values and principles for the squad. That sets the tone and winning performances are also key.

Thanks so much Scott!

I won’t be over in Oz. I will be in Moscow commentating on the Rugby World Cup 7s as the second test in Melbourne clashes with this tournament.

However should my predication come good, I may find my way to Sydney for the final test!

Pig ‘N’ Whistle While there are three Pig ‘N’ Whistle’s in Brisbane, the Riverside joint is the premier venue for live sport. Enjoy a pint inside a traditional British pub right on the Brisbane River while watching your favourite sport. Whether you fancy English and Scottish Premier League, UEFA, World Cup or Local A-League games, Riverside has the satellite rights to them all. They also show all GAA live from Ireland and Six Nations Rugby as well as coverage of local NRL and AFL games live. They won’t let you go hungry either, serving food of outstanding quality, including Black Angus beef from their own herd of cows on Bilambil Heights and classics like Sausages & Mash and Steak & Guinness Pie. As the official headquarters for the British and Irish Lions Tour, Riverside is THE place to be to watch the matches live in HD. There will also be special menus and unique beers to make your experience even better.

What’s On :

Mondays – Live NRL

Tuesdays – Live music in the Beer Garden from 5pm

Wednesdays – Live music in the Beer Garden from 5.30pm

Thursdays – Express Trivia at 12.45pm and Live Music in the Beer Garden from 5.30pm Fridays – Live Music in the Beer Garden from 5pm followed by a DJ at 7pm Saturdays – Watch sports coverage on large flat-screen TVs Sundays – Live Music in the Beer Garden from 1.30pm

Contact :

Riverside Centre, 123 Eagle Street, Brisbane (07) 3832 9099

www.pignwhistle.com.au

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Close to the Stadium : The Stadium Bar & Grill

Perfect for all weathers with an open/close rooftop and for predrinks before the big game.

25 Caxton Street, Queensland (07) 3368 1932 www.stadiumbar.com.au The Paddington Tavern

The Paddo, offers something for everyone, and is the perfect place for a meal or celebration before heading to the stadium.

186 Given Terrace, Paddington, Queensland (07) 3369 0044 www.thepaddo.au

grab a munch : Pig ‘n’ Whistle

A famous institution within Brisbane, the Pig ‘n’ Whistle is on hand to give you the best menu and selection of beers you could ask for.

Riverside Centre, 123 Eagle Street, Brisbane (07) 3832 9099 www.pignwhistle.com.au

Mick O’Malley’s

For a bit of Irish atmosphere Mick O’Malley’s is the perfect place to grab a bite to eat.

171-209 Queen Street, Basement Level, Wintergarden Centre, Brisbane (07) 3211 9881 www.mickomalleys.com.au

ones for the “bucket” list : Junk Bar

For the creative and urban, Junk Bar presents you with an uber cool lounge to sit back and relax while sipping a cocktails.

215 Waterworks Road, Ashgrove, Brisbane (07) 3186 2993 www.thejunkbar.com.au Laruche

Step inside Laruche and you enter a world away from Brisbane, its cocktail list and food menu are exceptional.

680 Ann Street, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane (07) 3666 0880 www.laruche.com.au

YOUR GUIDE TO PERTH

The Mustang Bar Inspired by the American way, this bar is devoted to showing sport, while serving a US diner-style menu, and housing over 50 varieties of bottled and draught beer. The Lions Tour will feature on nine screens as well as the Jumbo Big Screen, which makes The Mustang Bar a great place to support your team. It satisfies sports fans all year round with Fox Sports, ESPN, Fuel, Euro Sport and Setanta as available channels.

What’s On :

Mondays – Rockabilly Dance lessons from 6pm and Triple Shots performing at 8pm Tuesdays – Have a Salsa Night at The Mustang with a free lesson at 7pm, followed by live percussionists and DJs

Wednesdays – Backpacker & Student Fest from 6pm, $5 BBQ Meal Deal with a chance to win $100, free pool competition from 8.30pm and live cover band from 9.30pm

Thursdays – Local bands and musicians play the Original Music Night from 9.30pm

Friday – Live Swing/Jazz bands from 7pm, followed by The Cheeky Monkeys.

Saturday – Live Rockabilly Rock ‘n’ Roll bands from 7pm, followed by Rock/Pop group Millhouse Sundays – Country Rock ‘n’ Roll bands perform from 6pm

Contact :

46 Lace Street, Northbridge, Perth (08) 9328 2350

www.mustangbar.com.au

Close to the Stadium :

Bar One

Paddy Maguire’s

Bar One provides all day dining from your morning coffee and breakfast, through to antipasti and pasta at lunch and finishing with dishes to share for a more sociable evening meal.

250 St George’s Terrace, Plaza Level, Perth (08) 9481 8400 www.bar1.com.au

Visit Paddy Maguire’s before heading to Petersons Stadium to get the luck of the Irish.

328 Barker Road, Subiaco, Perth (08) 9381 8400

www.paddymaquires.com The Village Bar The Village Bar serves food, drink and fun in a refreshing, relaxed setting, a great place to pop into before or after the game if you don’t want to stray far from the stadium.

10-531 Hay Street, Subiaco, Perth (08) 9381 5099 www.thevillagebar.com.au

grab a munch :

ones for the “bucket” list : The Conservatory This rooftop contains a barbeque, so you can cook and eat surrounded by the city view.

356 Murray Street, Perth

(08) 9481 1960 www.theconservatory.net.au

Fibber McGee’s

Wolf Lane

This Irish Pub & Steakhouse takes pride in its locally reared beef from its very own Drumlane Organic Farm, as well as making classic Irish stews, breakfasts and soda bread.

711 Newcastle Street, Leederville (08) 9227 0800 www.fibbermcgees.com.au

Rear 321 Murray Street, Perth (08) 9322 4671 www.wolflane.com.au

Once you get to Wolf Lane, it’s hard to miss with the remarkable mural pasted on the front and continues to impress once inside with a twisted fairytale theme.

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SPORTS NEWS A Manager With Plenty Of Bottle

When good footballers go mental. We’re amazed Sky haven’t come up with this show. From Gazza making sandwiches for a gun-toting killer, to former England defender Gary Charles crashing his car and being found gibbering in a pool of his own shit (allegedly), there’s enough material for at least three seasons.

And now there’s even the option of an international episode thanks to Croatia’s Jozo Gaspar. Gaspar is widely considered one of Croatia’s best-loved footballers, with his spell at Dinamo Zagreb, in which he made 425 appearances, sealing his place as a legend in the country.

A career as a beloved manager beckoned but, alas, Gaspar curled a giant steaming dump onto his reputation last month when he was sacked as manager of first division minnows Zagreb Precko for stealing a credit card from one of his players and using it to buy 36 bottles of Jagermeister.

Booze-loving Gaspar was only caught when he was snapped on CCTV at a local store buying the whopping haul of liqueur – each bottle 70 per cent proof.

He tried to use the card again at a second shop hours later while attemtping to buy a further ten bottles. Not only was he recognised by the cashier, but the card was declined due to a lack of funds. Idiot.

Be sure to catch next month’s BBM for the next episode of “When good footballers go mental” which will be entitled “Kop that: Luis Suarez biting back.” We’re looking forward to the episode where Ryan Giggs nails that hot Welsh bint on the side – then waits a couple of years before murdering his teammates in the dressing room following their title win. Watch this space.

Knock The Ball Through His Legs

“BBM disclaimer: This next story feature scenes that may disturb male viewers. Reading the article may result in severe wincing, leg crossing and an inability to test plums for ripeness You have been warned.”

A referee is suing the Kenyan football authorities after having his testicles grabbed and squashed by an angry manager. Talk about being given a lesson in close ball control. Yeeech!

Martin Wekesa Wamalwa was officiating a match between local rivals Admiral and Sparki Youth in September of last year when Sparki boss Daudi Kajembe – who was later arrested – took a bit of a dislike to one of his decisions and made a lunge for his pride and joy.

What happened next cannot be described for squeamish reasons but now Wamalwa is demanding 20million Kenyan shillings (£156,000) after the attack left him “no longer able to enjoy his conjugal rights”.

“That was the most gruesome moment of my life, I can never explain the pain but I’m lucky to be alive,” said Wamalwa, presumably in a flawless falsetto.

“On that day I remember I fainted after the guy attacked me squeezing me dangerously in my sensitive parts.

“I was affected mentally and physically since I became a subject of ridicule in town.”

Wamalwa is now seeking compensation for his injuries because, according to his lawyer, he has “suffered permanent incapacity and can no longer enjoy his conjugal rights following extensive damage to his sexual organs”.

On the plus side, he no longer needs a whistle for games as his voice is now naturally that high pitched. A career as a Bee Gees impersonator beckons.

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Biased Fan Toons Out Of Jury Duty

They say justice is blind. And in Byker Grove, Duncan once famously announced that “PJ’s gone blind!”. And so with that, admittedly tenuous, link we assume Geordies would be naturals at being impartial, with one of their most famous sons (Ant McPartlin) having experienced the pain of being sightdeprived, just like Lady Justice as she balances the scales of the law with a blindfold on. Kinky bitch.

But while they may be impartial in other things, when it comes to football, those north-easterners are about as unbiased as a bunch of teen girls being asked “who is the greatest musician of all time: Beethoven or Justin Beiber?”

That point was rammed home last month when a Toon fan who had been called up for jury duty was removed from a rape trial after admitting to his fellow jurors that he couldn’t give the defendant a fair trial because he was a Sunderland fan, and the pain of the previous week’s 3-0 defeat to the Black Cats was too much to overcome.

He was urged to tell the judge about his feelings and when he called the defendant a “Mackem rapist” he was duly removed from proceedings.

A spokeswoman for the judiciary said: “I can confirm that the judge did discharge a juror. Because the trial was at a very early stage the judge then discharged the remaining 11 jurors and a new jury was empanelled. The juror had himself approached a member of court staff and made the comment which in the judge’s view made him unsuitable to try the defendant.”

Despite the kerfuffle, the defendant was found guilty and is expected to be given a prison sentence.

Dirty Mackem rapist.

SPORTS NEWS Falling Behind With A Head “And in the master’s chambers, they gathered for the feast, they stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast!” (Guitar solo) Deee-doo-durrrrdeedle-deedle-durr!

Satanism. Whether it’s The Eagles allegedly singing about it in dad-rock classic Hotel California (see above), Marilyn Manson growing breasts, or an excuse for dressing like a whore on Halloween; our American cousins are obsessed with Devil worship.

And one American sports club who have been burned by black magic are the Chicago Cubs baseball team, who apparently had a curse put on them by the owner of a local pub in the 1945 World Series because they wouldn’t let him take his pet goat into Wrigley Stadium. No really.

Well now, in a Scooby Doo-style twist, the old legend appears to have come back to life after a bloke in a white van dropped a severed goat’s head in a box at the stadium’s gate.

If the new goat’s head was supposed to jinx the Cubs further it may have worked as they blew a 5-0 lead in the third inning right after the special delivery, eventually losing 7-6 to defending World Series champions the San Francisco Giants.

But Cubs players aren’t buying into all the hokum and baloney, with pitcher Jeff Samardzija telling the perpetrator: “Come up with something original. The billy goat curse against the team has only been around for 60 or 70 years. You would think they would come up with something new.”

Sounds like a case for Scooby, Shaggy, Velma and the rest of the Mystery Machine gang to us. What’s the betting Wrigley Park is built on an old gold mine and the groundskeeper is trying to scare off fans using an old film projector and a goat costume?

It’s Breen A Strange Season

The A-League – much like Craig Foster’s commentary - doesn’t make sense.

As any proper football fan will tell you, playing a grand final to decide the best team over the season is illogical, as is playing some teams three times instead of two. This is also the league that, until three years ago, considered the Mariners v Sydney FC a “local derby” and where Terry McFlynn – who played for Morecombe before moving to Australia – can be captain of a Sky Blues side containing Italian legend Alessandro del Piero. Madness.

And one man who epitomises the A-League’s nonsense is Central Coast striker Daniel McBreen.

McBreen’s penalty in the grand final sealed the Mariners 2-0 victory over Western Sydney Wanderers, and cemented his place as this season’s golden boot winner with 20 goals.

This is odd for several reasons, not least because his last “European” club was York City, where he scored a whopping five goals in 35 appearances. It’s even stranger when you consider McBreen didn’t even hit double figures last season, is currently 36 and, despite his netbusting heroics, still doesn’t have a contract for next year.

“I’m not sure yet what’s happening next season,’’ he said.

“I love it here. I love the place, I love the people, I love the team, the coaching staff, living near the beach - everything. Hopefully we can work something out.’’

It’s no surprise he wants to stay, but what did his coach, Graham Arnold, have to say after the veteran’s dream season and man of the match performance in the grand final?

“He’s a pain in the arse, as always,’’ said Arnold. Told you this league didn’t make sense.

Riders On The Storm

Women with whips. Sister-onsister action. Menage a trois. Horse racing just got a dose of sexy sibling shenanigans, though sadly it’s not the sort where they go behind the stables and roll around naked in mud and hay.

The whole saucy tale spilled into the public domain last month when a top women’s jockey, Nikita McLean, was banned for punching a fellow rider – who happened to be her younger sister.

It later emerged that 18-year-old Jackie Beriman had been allegedly shagging her sister’s husband – another jockey called Brad McLean – and it all got a bit too much for Nikita. Already enraged by the rumours, she said she snapped when she saw her husband tap Beriman “on the bum” with his whip. She then weighed up what would be the most sensible course of action to take, and opted to punch her sister in the head. She’s been banned from racing for five months as a result.

“This was the first time all three of us had been in the same vicinity,” Nikita told a hearing in Hamilton, blaming the presence of her estranged husband for putting her in an emotional state. “I pushed her, then I punched her, then packed my bag and left. She’s ruined my marriage and now she’s trying to ruin my career.”

Speaking about the most salacious family feud in racing, Jackie said she would not let the scandal ruin her burgeoning career and was determined to put it all behind her.

“I’ll ride every day, this is what I do,” said the apprentice jockey. “Just because of what’s been written in the papers, it won’t stop me riding,” We’re sure Brad is very pleased to hear it.

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WHAT’S TRENDING

The 70s Season This month, we’re reliving one of the most influential decades in fashion. The seventies style saw patterned shirts with big collars, platform shoes, false eyelashes and heavy eyeliner. So don’t be afraid to be bold and strut your stuff, as this month is the time to do it. Stand tall and make a statement with a little help from these chic seventies-inspired products.

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1.Shirt with bandana print, $37, available from www.asos.com 2.Ennis Slim Fit Tropical Print Blazer, $95, available from www.asos.com 3.Wood circular graphic coasters, $13, available from www.coolmaterial.com 4.Superdry Orange aftershave 40ml, $44, available from www.superdry.com 5.Langham suede shoe, $220, available from www.johnwhiteshoes.com 6.Classic shoulder bag, $66, available from www.fredperry.com 7. Military cap, $44, available from www.fredperry.com 8. Mod Knit Polo Shirt, $27, available from www.rustyzipper.com 9. Gizmon ICA Iphone 5 case, $60, available from www.coolmaterial.com 10. Stanley Flask, $24, available from www.coolmaterial.com

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For her...

1.Skater in blue floral dress, $109, available from www.asos.com 2.Highbrow oversized round sunglasses, $18, available from www.asos.com 3.Catwalk Black Dior DiorShow Art Pen Eyeliner, $29, available from www.escentual.com/dior 4.Red/navy peace hippy trousers, $23, available from www.beaufox.co.uk 5.Holland leather heeled sandals, $109, available from www.asos.com 6.Dior Backstage DiorShow Mascara, $29, available from www.escentual.com/dior 7.Florian London leather backpack style bag, $409, available from www.florianlondon.com 8.Lily red sunglasses, $24, available from www.jeeperspeepers.co.uk 9.Hanover leather heeled sandals, $140, available from www.asos.com 10.Daniel Sandler eye delight eyeshadow, $15, available from www.escentual.com/danielsandler 11.Paperself regular eyelashes peacock, $18, available from www.escentual.com/paperself 12.Patterned trousers, $66, available from www.lookagain.co.uk

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INTERVIEWS

Rudimental

The Drum & Bass quartet that is Rudimental has done nothing short of taking over the scene the world over with their infectious beats. Comprising of members Piers Aggett, Kesi Dryden, Amir Amor and Leon Rolle, they’re about to drop their debut album ‘Home’, and have worked with the likes of Alex Clare and Emeli Sande and will be keeping the sounds of London town global for the forseeable future. We caught up with Leon Rolle to find out a bit more about what makes Rudimental just so successful…

Sande. How did you go about approaching them? What was it like working with them?

Both artists are true professionals and have an amazing passion for music. Emeli came to one of our gigs, which funnily enough she was struggling to get into and at that point she shared her desire to work with us, which was an amazing honour.

Who was your favourite guest to work with whilst recording the album?

All the guests have been amazing to work with. The most important thing to us is this element of family.

It’s expressed on the album and also on stage, so typically everyone we’ve worked with shares that mindset or brings that vibe.

Hi Leon, how are you? Whereabouts in the world are you right now?

Really good at the minute, happy to be home in London and in the thick of rehearsals for our UK tour, which is going well. We are extremely excited, we’ve added a drummer and I think we’ve now become the band I have always dreamt about.

You recently performed at the South By South West Music convention in Texas, how did that go? Were they any acts you saw that really stood out for you?

SXSW was an amazing experience. It was like us bringing our home - the streets of London - to Texas. The reception was great and I think it is just going to get better. Laura Mvula was exceptional, would definitely go to see her and her band live again.

How would you compare US festivals to the UK, what’s the atmosphere like? Are they particularly different?

The US is just as crazy and mental as the UK. The atmosphere was amazing. There’s something special that happens when we are all on stage together, which translates to the crowd.

I read online about how youth-centred studios play a big part in your music. Tell me a bit more about this?

Youth centres and community centres have an important part to play with helping youth access a way of expressing their negativity in positive ways.

I worked in a secondary school alongside Kesi as Behavioural and Learning Mentors. We have firsthand experience of working with teenagers with behavioural issues and barriers to learning. We found that using music with students can have a

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positive effect on youth whilst helping them knock down those barriers, so it’s an element we are keen to continue to weave into our music by the positivity.

We’ve had a listen to your debut album ‘Home’ which will was released in April. What did you want to put out there with this album? Does it have any running concepts or themes?

We created this album in the studio and on the road.

We always said that we wanted to make an album that would set festivals on fire, one that would allow you to feel like you’re Michael Schumacher on the way to work, as well as give that motivation to clean your house on that dreaded Sunday. The occurring theme that runs through this album is what solidifies us as a band… Soul elements with bass!

Your track ‘Feel The Love’ has been a huge success all over the world; did you think it was going to be such a huge hit when you were writing it?

Like most producers, you always have a good feeling about the tracks you’ve made. In our case, when it comes to the creation of ‘Feel The Love’ – this is no different. I remember when the core idea of ‘Feel The Love’ came to the studio, we ended up trashing the place through sheer excitement, taking our tops off and going absolutely mental. ‘Feel The Love’ has been a smash hit which we are only coming to terms with now, that it was one of the biggest selling singles of 2012. It’s amazing and it has given us the license to show the world what we are about and, with the release of our debut album will help solidify our selves in this game for a long time to come.

You’ve got quite a few impressive names to feature on the album, like Alex Clare and Emeli

You’re touring the UK in April, what are you most looking forward to on this tour? Is there a particular city you’re excited about performing in?

Really looking forward to playing in front of all the fans that have been supporting us. There is absolutely nothing better than being in your own country with large crowds singing along to the tracks you have slaved over for the last year. These are the rewards!

What’s the craziest thing to have happened to you whilst on tour?

Don’t know if it’s that crazy, but whilst in Australia, Prodigy gave us a big shout on stage “YO RUDIMENTAL!! THIS NEXT TRACK IS FOR YOU!” we actually felt like little kids again when we heard this.

That’s amazing! What’s been the most unusual gig or festival you have played?

The most unusual place we’ve played in so far ... is deep in the forest whilst doing Snow Bombing festival, was an amazing experience with a great crowd!

What kind of music and who did you grow up listening to? Would you say your family’s taste in music was a big influence? Would you say growing up in London played a big influence?

Sly and the Family Stone, Prince, Marvin Gaye as well as Dizzee Rascal and James Blake. When growing up in London, you had no choice but to surround yourself with nothing but eclectic sounds due to the cultural surroundings and diversity exploding on the streets of London, but it varies for all of us… I think that is why we connect as a band.

What’s been a career highlight for you so far?

The Hackney Weekender for the simple reason that it was our second live gig and we smacked it out the ballpark! The crowd fed us and we fed off the crowd. Amazing!

By Rachel Pottle

The Shapeshifters

After a decade together making epic tunes, Shapeshifters will be celebrating with a brand new album. Simon Marlin and his Swedish partner Max Reich have kept it fresh for ten whole years, and are best known for their tracks ‘Lola’s Theme’ and ‘Back To Basics’. The House duo have also championed remixes for the likes of George Michael, Christina Aguilera, Moby and Natalie Imbruglia to name a mere handful.

We catch up with Simon ahead of the release of their decade marking album ‘Analogue To Digital… And Back Again’ which will be released on 27th May 2013, to reflect upon what the past ten years has brought, and where The Shapeshifters are headed.

You two have been together for a decade now, why do you think your partnership works so well and for so long?

Mutual respect for what each of us do.

Would you say Max being Swedish and you being British is part of why you work so well?

Mixing different cultures and influences?

Yes, partly, Max is very laid back which helps and musically we have very different influences, which works well when creating.

Where did you first start out playing? Were there any particular favourite haunts you had back in the day that are still going?

I started in ‘91, but my favourite place was my residency at The End and AKA, which we did for many years.

Are there any tracks you can’t stop playing at the moment? Or any up-and-coming artists we should keep our eye on?

Full intentions remix of Incredible, Something Good, I want you Dance has kind of taken of the charts right now, especially in the UK & US– did you ever expect this to happen when you first started out?

Dance has been in and out of the European charts for as long as I can remember, but I think the thing none of us expected was the way it has become so big in the US.

How would you say the genre’s reception has morphed over the past 10 years?

At the moment there are two distinct camps: EDM Maximal and Deep Minimal, both will re-merge as House again in about six months and hopefully the stupid bitching about genres will stop, and we will get back to good, well produced music again.

Where else are you playing in the coming months?

Worldwide really – from the UK to India, to Balkans and Ibiza.

Do you have plans to expand the Shapeshifters’ ‘brand’ further? You’ve got the record label and the podcast… how’s that all going? And of course your Nocturnal Groove radio show…

Well this album is a big deal for us and sets our stall out for the foreseeable future, and in a way is reinventing what we do, so I think we will concentrate on that first, we have new plans for Ibiza which is exciting, as well as a live concept so I guess that will keep us busy for a while.

We’re really excited about Bomba too! Which country haven’t you played that you would like to?

Argentina and Mexico…

How do you plan on keeping ‘Nocturnal’ interesting?

The only way we know how: signing great records and bringing new talent through as best we can.

What have you guys got planned for the summer season and in Ibiza?

We will be at the new club on the Island, Bomba on Friday nights, which is really exciting and what the Island needed to be honest. Seven seasons at Pacha were great and we will play there again this season, but having a new challenge over there keeps it - and us - fresh.

Where are you most looking forward to playing?

Bomba looks like it’s gonna be a real DJs’ room, so there, really, but always love Croatia and India.

Do you have plans to go back and play Australia anytime soon?

Not sure yet, perhaps end of the year. We didn’t go this time for the first time in five years cause we had to concentrate on the album, but we definitely missed it, have you seen the weather over here!?

Yes it’s been disgusting. So would you say there’s a difference between UK and Aus crowds?

Yes, you’re more tanned and you wear less clothes!

Haha! I guess so. What’s been a really memorable moment in your decade-long journey together as Shapeshifters?

Playing to 100,00 people in Hyde Park is up there, and, of course, having some quite good records to play over the years.

By Esther Anyakwo

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INTERVIEWS

Ayah Marar She’s coming through thick and fast, so sit up and pay attention, Dance music’s new darling Ayah Marar is here and it doesn’t look like she’ll be disappearing any time soon.

Having worked with everyone from Calvin Harris to Goldie’s label Metalheadz, Hospital Records and P-Money, the “Queen of Bass” gives it to us straight…

Hi Ayah, how are you? What have you been up to this week?

This week was spent in the studio with Chemo, I’m back in recording my second album which is really exciting. Then later this week, we shoot the video for ‘Lethal Dose, the last single off ‘The Real’.

Wow, so fairly busy then! So you’re releasing new single ‘Go Hard’ imminently, what’s the reception been like to it so far?

It’s been wonderful! It seems to be the most ‘feel good’ track off the album, gets people bubbling, that’s all I need to know!

You’ve been around for a while and worked with Calvin Harris and with Metalheadz and Hospital Records, how and when did you really start out?

I’ve always been a musician and performer, at school and during university. It really began when Loxy and Ink reached out to me to feature on a DnB track. I then went on to work at a record shop, start my own label, run nights and tour the UK and Europe as an MC. The singing has always been there though, I love it.

There are some great people coming out of London at the moment with Jessie Ware, Bondax, Snakehips, George Maple, and quite a definite musical movement going on, what do you think about the new scene emerging off all this chilled dance with elements of either haunting acoustics or RnB? Indeed! I’ve known Jessie for a few years now and watched her blossom and grow, which has been wonderful to witness. With all the new boys coming through now, it’s brilliant to see the younger generation latching on to proper old school Soul and RnB. I’m a big fan.

Where are some of your favourite spots to hit up? Where did you go out growing up? Was this influential of your sound?

I had a DJ residency at Herbal in Shoreditch for four years (pre-smoking ban so that was our monthly hang-out). Otherwise I loved Blue Note, Fabric, Underworld (Kung Fu) and all the spots that were banging out the good DnB and Hip-Hop. At the moment, I’m partial to a nice old-fashioned pub with good food.

‘Go Hard’ is pretty Garage flavoured, what did you want to put across with this release?

Honestly, it’s just a follow on from the rest of the tracks. I wanted the album to encompass every style of underground Dance that I have loved and grown up with. Mr Basista produced the track and Illaman is the MC - dream team!

Your free EP release is all stripped back with an acoustic element, whereas releases such as ‘Go Hard’ and ‘The Raver’ are quite heavy on production, is this to showcase perhaps diverse musical tastes that you have?

The free EP is just a little thank you to people for checking my website and getting involved, we do acoustic versions of all my tracks generally. I just think a song isn’t a good song unless you can play it on a guitar.

You’ve been dubbed the “Queen of Bass”, how does that make you feel? Would you agree on championing Bass music for women?

I love it and it makes me smile every day. It’s pretty much the best thing that has happened to me in terms of recognition for what I do and I’ll carry it as long as I can make disgusting bass, which I plan to for a long time.

Your music stretches across Jungle and Drum

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and Bass, did you listen to a lot of that kind of music growing up? Anyone in particular who influenced you and your sound?

Wormhole by Ed Rush & Optical, plus the Good Looking/Looking Good series got me firmly into DnB. Before that, I was into Hip-Hop, RnB, Soul and Jazz. But Reggae will always be the love of my life.

Is there any new music you’re listening to at the moment that you would recommend to our readers?

Yes! Eptic, Broken Note, Problem Child, Funtcase - if you’re after some proper duttiness. I’m a big fan of a young lady called Sadie who will be coming through with stuff soon, she is magical. I’m always on the lookout for new and exciting talent.

What have you got planned for 2013? Will you be doing many festivals?

For sure! We are doing a lot of European festivals, plus things like Secret Garden and the like. Check my website for all dates!

You’ve had and got releases out with Ministry and Hospital Records, tell us about this work you’ve been doing with these labels... can we expect another album from you soon?

Yes! Working on album two as we speak! It will be released through my label Hussle Girl, same as my first. I’m a huge champion of the independent label.

Would you be inclined to do more acoustic stuff as you’re really quite diverse? I really like the ‘Dandelion’ demo.

Thank you and yes! We always have things popping up on Youtube. In fact, we have also just done a segment for SBTV with Reeps One and P Money, which should be dropping end of April.

By Hannah Shakir

Owl Eyes

INTERVIEWS

This month we catch up with Aussie singer-songwriter Owl Eyes as she embarks on a nationwide tour to celebrate the release of her debut album, ‘Nightswim’. First catching our attention on Australian Idol in 2008 at the age of just 17, the now 22-year-old Brooke Adammo has been busy writing, recording and notching up two songs in the Triple J Hot 100. Brooke, we’re all ears...

So I was reading a bit about the inspiration for the album and you spoke a lot about Space, tell me more about how you used that as inspiration for this record?

Space was kind of more reference to the ‘Raiders’ EP; for this album I was more inspired by where I was at the time and I made a conscious effort to really write more honest songs and more true to myself. I tend to hide things behind fantasy and metaphors, I still do that because I love story telling, but I wanted to be a bit more honest and let the listener really connect to the song and let them listen to it and know the feeling you get from it, so I was really inspired by just where I was at and there’s all different themes of falling in love and when you kind of realise I’m 22, this is who I’m going to be, when your 16 and you think “oh I’m going to be someone different when I’m 22” but I’m still going to be the same at 25. Obviously you grow a little bit, and just kind of coming to terms with who you are and just themes around my life and where I was at and what I was listening to was all really inspiring me as well Do you listen to a lot of other musicians to get inspiration too?

Definitely, I think when you’re in the studio and spending blocks of time there you listen to a lot of music, I like to surround myself with a lot of music and not just be caught up in one genre. So I was listening to a lot of electronic music and going to a lot of gigs and I was really inspired by the ‘Drive’ soundtrack (the film with Ryan Gosling) it was really great and had a lot of bass through it and I went to the Mountkimby gig which was really inspiring and I listen to a lot of UK producers, and then I was listening to a bunch of artists like Fleetwood Mac and Kate Bush and a lot of throwback 90s, so much music! Just listening to a lot and just getting inspired and taking parts from each genre and song and making it my own.

Do you have a favourite track on the album or one that has a special meaning?

Probably because it came the most naturally, my favourite would be ‘Saltwater’. It’s really fun to play live and kind of didn’t really change from when we first discovered the song in our minds, and a lot of the songs on the album I rewrote five times to get right, but this one was pretty fast and it just came it, was such an easy process.

So you released your first EP (Faces) in 2010, why wait such a long time to release the album?

I’ve always been busy, I had two EPs after that, but I think it felt like a long process because I started writing it about two years ago and I expected it to be a lot shorter, my EPs haven’t taken that long in the past but it was a lot harder because it’s an album I wanted it to show who I was as an artist and be present rather than just experimenting with EPs, it took me a long time to get right. So I do have those thoughts of “oh you haven’t done anything in a while, you haven’t toured in a long time, is it going to be received well, are people still going to care” but I think you have to put that out of your mind and just be proud of what you’ve done and I am really proud of it.

What can fans expect from next months tour?

I’m just in the middle of deconstructing the songs and putting them into a live show which is a very different process to writing them but definitely a very synthy, I want to make a really fun vibe but I want it to have dynamic, I want people to go away and feel something, even if it’s bad! I definitely want to make it a little bit more energetic and exciting. I’ve toured a lot but previously I fell like “oh, that was just a gig” and I want to make this more of a show.

You did a cover of ‘Pumped Up Kicks’, which I loved, will there be any live covers on the tour?

Thank you! I think so, I like throwing in a cover, I’m not sure what it is yet but hopefully it’s unexpected, I’m kind of thinking of taking a song and really changing it up.

What are you most looking forward to about this tour?

Just taking my music out to a broader scale, a lot of places you go some people haven’t heard the whole album so I’ll be playing a lot of new songs and it’s just really exciting for me because it’s just refreshing there are so many new songs that I can kind of pick and choose what I want to play, I don’t have to play songs that I’m sick of or songs I’ve played a million times before it’s all new to me as well as new to the fans So the album is released next week, and your tour takes you up until June, what have you got planned for the rest of 2013?

At the moment I’m just trying to focus on rehearsing and practising for the tour and then hopefully there might be an overseas trip, but if not then I’ll definitely be touring a lot and releasing some more singles and I really want to get back into writing a bit faster than I did last time, I’ve already got some ideas planned And finally, tell us one thing your fans don’t already know about you?

Well, everyone knows I love cats! Ok, this is really a guilty pleasure but I love when you go to the cinema the really watered down syrupy coca cola that you get and I love movie popcorn. Sometimes I’ve actually just gone to the movies got the coke and popcorn and gone home to watch a movie!

By Eleanor Davies

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MUSIC NEWS

Top 10 Podcasts, Sets, and radio 1. The Read

Join bloggers Kid Fury and Crissle for their weekly ‘read’ of pop culture’s most trying stars. The ever-animated Fury is complemented by straight-talking, acerbic Crissle, and no star is safe from their sharp wit and even sharper tongues.

Available on iTunes www.sofurious.com

2. Capture Your Nite

Capture Your Nite is a bar and club guide based in Manchester, UK and they gather some of the city’s finest DJs to put together some high-grade mixes. soundcloud.com/captureyournite

3. Max Vangeli

Subscribe to producer and DJ Max Vangeli’s monthly podcast, featuring the hottest house tracks he’s been playing out. Epic every time!

Available on iTunes maxvangeli.libsyn.com

4. Vaski

Vaski remixes tracks the best offerings from the worlds of DnB, Dubstep, Dance and Electro. Check him out! soundcloud.com/Vaski vaskimusic.com

5. Gareth Emery

Gareth Emery handpicks some of his favourites from the world of EDM. Emery’s knack for picking the future big tunes is second to none.

Available on iTunes www.garethemery.com

6. Food is the New Rock

Love food? And music? Then this podcast was made for you! Join Zach Brooks and Chuck P as they talk food with a musician or music with a food person.

Available on iTunes www.foodisthenewrock.com

7. Maxum Music Radio

Maxum has been producing music for several years and now he turns his talented hands to podcasting, bringing you the best in EDM tunes every month.

Available on iTunes maxummusic.com

8. ClashMusic DJ Mix

ClashMusic’s DJ Mix podcast provides DJ mixes from some of the finest frontrunners and hottest newcomers in the Dance music scene.

Available on iTunes www.clashmusic.com

d r a e H t Not

Bu e n e Sc

South Africa is home to Zef, one of the largest music scenes to quite literally explode overnight. But what is it? Technically the spawn of Die Antwoord and their ‘next level rap-rave’ music full of 90s ghetto attitude, Zef is a movement that has been taking off since 2010. But ask someone what it means or Google it and you’ll get nowhere.

The origin of the word ‘Zef’ is unclear, but it seems leaders of the trend, Die Antwoord have transformed the Afrikaans slang word from meaning something tacky (think Granny’s ornaments lined neatly atop her mantlepiece) into something that means the ultimate style, being cooler than cool but not to be confused with trashy.

Die Antwoord, consists of tattooed MC Ninja, nymph-like bottle-blonde YoLandi Vi$$er and the enigmatic DJ HI-TEK. Their ingenious Dance music and brilliantly offensive Rap lyrics, which are a combination of both Afrikaans and English, has unsurprisingly sparked debate as to whether they’re for real; with people labelling them ‘conceptual art’. Collecting over 28 million hits on one track alone, Die Antwoord are clearly massive, yet Zef remains quietly unknown.

Die Antwoord aren’t alone in Zef world domination. Rhymester Jack Parow has also emerged from the scene. Parow, whose namesake derives from his hometown, has been titled the Afrikaans Eminem, who spits comical lyrics about life in South African slums. Merging chilled beats with quick-witted Afrikaans rap, the name of his most popular track ‘Cooler As Ekke’ (Cooler than Cool) itself describes the Zef legacy.

9. The Green Room

Clearly, Zef isn’t just about the sound of the music; the image and lifestyle is just as essential. And, if you look closely, artists have been cropping up all over the globe that incorporate elements of Zef.

10. Freakonomics Radio

Badass female rapper Kreayshawn whose dirty Hip-Hop beats unite with her blaring attitude and proudness of origin screams Zef. Canadian wonder Grimes integrates elements of that effortlessly ‘cooler than cool’ belief that Zef instills. To put it simply, although Zef music hasn’t emerged across the shores as yet, the name itself has and artists are integrating Zef into their musical identity whether they’re aware of it or not.

Phil Butler produces and hosts this backstage pass to the UK comedy scene.

Recorded backstage on the comedy circuit, featured are interviews and clips of stand-up shows from the country’s best comedians working today.

Available on iTunes thegreenroompodcast.com

With stories about cheating schoolteachers and crack-selling mama’s boys, join Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner as they explore ‘the hidden side of everything’. A great show for giving you interesting titbits to tell your friends Available on iTunes www.freakonomics.com

By Esther Anyakwo

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Still no clearer? Zef isn’t necessarily supposed to be understood. Conceptual art, ingenious movement or just a bunch of lunatics? It doesn’t matter. It’s easy to think too hard about it but you could just go with it... Zef style.

By Bryony Curtis

Single Reviews Pop/Rock

Jimmy Eat World – I Will Win You Back

Jimmy Eat World are pioneers when it comes to tuneful Pop-Rock. They may have become slightly tamer in their later years, but this first listen of what’s to expect from their next album, entitled ‘Damage’ is everything you could expect. Good, solid, Rock ‘n’ Roll. Glad to have you back Jim.

Lexy And The Kill – We Can Dance Alone

‘We Can Dance Alone’ is a quirky Pop song that is just itching for summer. The thumping beats and bouncy lyrics will be enough to brighten your day, and the powerful songwriting means you’ll instantly fall in love with this band.

Cayucas – East Coast Girl

If this song doesn’t get you up out of your seat and dancing around the room then I’m not sure what will. Go outside, take a train to the beach, and let’s have a party. This must be what it feels like to see a unicorn crap out a rainbow.

Urban

CJ Fly – The Error

Super smooth, jazzy Hip-Hop that flows effortlessly amongst a mix of keys and beats. The Pro Crew’s very own CJ Fly might just be the most laid-back, awesome rapper around at the minute.

Jay-Z – Open Letter

Jay-Z recently went on holiday to Cuba. Some politicians got angry. He wrote a song about it. With a perfect Hip Hop beat, and his excellent rapping skills, layers and sections that all works perfectly, the song is very good. It’s as simple as that.

Cassie – Numb ft. Rick Ross

‘Numb’ is the first track to surface from Cassie’s new mixtape ‘Rock-A-Bye Baby’. The songs main hook states that she “Makes music to numb your brain”, but I’m not convinced that that’s a good thing. Rick Ross’ addition feels a little lazy and this effort isn’t anything particularly exciting, so let’s hope the mixtape is.

Logo Quiz – Music Edition

In need of more distractions available for free to procrastinate even more? Well we’ve found a great new app to do just the trick; Logo Quiz - Music Edition.

This free app tests your visual skills in a highly addictive, challenging way that is wonderfully simple. Each level is broken down into a specific genre of music and the aim of the game is to guess the band name from a dismantled, or partially revealed logo.

The range of different bands is impressive and it will surely test even the most avid music fans amongst us. Plus it’s brilliantly satisfying when you finally crack a logo you’ve been stuck on for weeks.

This is the music edition of the much-loved original Logo Quiz, that in the exact same way tests your knowledge of everyday items and products.

Download the whole collection today. They are great fun to play alone or with friends, and they perfect accompaniment for any long journey.

Available able on Android and iPhone.

Electronic

Phoria – Red

Brighton-based five-piece Phoria have captured a beautiful sound on ‘Red’ that’ll leave any listener stunned. Its gentle sway and steady movement makes for an alluring listen from start to finish. The band have got a new EP has just dropped, and we can tell you now, it certainly doesn’t disappoint!

Arclight – Tumble Down

The sensational click-clack rhythms of ‘Tumble Down’ provide a bold and unique approach to songwriting, whilst the repetitive vocals add an immersive depth to what is an honest and impressive track. There’s not much else out there that sounds quite like this.

SOHN – Bloodflows

Spacious vocals introduce the delicate tones that form the foundations of ‘Bloodflows’, but by the time the multi-layered ending plays out you’ll be ready to experience it all over again.

Twitter Release Music App

Described as a ‘21st Century version of the mixtape’, the new Twitter app will recommend tracks to fans based on the artists they follow.

Twitter #Music (the hashtag is part of the name) works by identifying the most popular songs from people you follow, while also showcasing emerging artists.

‘Twitter and music go great together.

People share and discover new songs and albums every day,’ said Twitter’s Stephen Philips in a blog post on the company’s official website.

‘Many of the most-followed accounts on Twitter are musicians, and half of all users follow at least one musician. This is why artists turn to Twitter first to connect with their fans - and why we wanted to find a way to surface songs people are tweeting about.’

Twitter has teamed up with three music companies for the launch: downloads store Apple iTunes and streaming services Spotify and Rdio. You will still need a Spotify or Rdio account to hear full tracks, however you do get iTunes previews.

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MUSIC NEWS

Album Reviews Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Mosquito

The last time we were this excited about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs was back in 2009 when they released the stunning electronic brilliance of their third studio album, ‘It’s Blitz’. Up until that point the New York three-piece had delivered mainly guitar driven, underground Punk that sounded completely original on record, and was backed up with a furious stage presence when performed live. But like all of the group’s musical endeavors (Karen’s opera ‘Stop The Virgen’s and movie soundtrack for ‘Where The Wild Things Are’, as well as Nick’s hardcore band Head Wound City), ‘Mosquito’ proves once again that when it comes to the YYY’s, you should always expect the unexpected.

Opening track ‘Sacrilege’ is the perfect starting point. This song alone gives the listener instant access to what makes this band so special. Karen O’s distinctive, unforgettable vocals provide you with a glimpse into her weird and wonderful mind, whilst the fuzzy guitars slide around the constant punching-rhythm of drums. As each verse and chorus builds, you almost feel like you are being preached the word of god. And towards the end, just to confirm His righteous message, in pops a full-blown gospel choir to continue the sermon as each instrument slowly fades away. It’s mighty impressive to say the least.

But one thing that you will notice as you begin to divulge deeper into the dark, inner workings of this album, is that once again the YYY’s have taken to an entirely new sound. It’s a much more challenging listen compared to the freshness of ‘It’s Blitz’, but when you take a look back through their impressive discography, with songs such as ‘Pin’ and ‘Graveyard’, ‘Mosquito’ makes perfect sense.

The bizarre sound of ‘Area 52’ is something that no other band would be able to get away with, but on here, with these musicians, it just fits in perfectly.

Tyler The Creator – Wolf

He’s caused quite a storm over the last couple of years. Whether performing solo, or with his group of skate loving, Supreme wearing, Odd Future friends, controversy seems to follow him around. His songs are practically unplayable on any commercial platform, and he’s been banned from festivals in the past, but still Tyler The Creator is one of the most popular rappers around today. Or at least he was…

‘Wolf’ is the third release from the producer, rapper and director, and he appears to have taken on more of a sentimental side than on previous ventures.

Could this possibly be the beginning of a new, mature Tyler? Probably not. But what this record does offer is a more personal approach to his writing. He’s dealing with first love on ‘Awkward’, absent fathers through ‘Answer’ and obsessive fans on ‘Colossus’. It’s apparent that Tyler is battling with his feelings via the medium of this record, which isn’t a bad thing. At least he isn’t constantly rapping about rape, fucking and fags. The only problem now is that the beats just feel a little slow, and his words a little dull.

There’s an abundance of guests on the album (Frank Ocean, Earl Sweatshirt, Pharrell just to name a few) who are all a welcomed addition, but one fundamental problem with ‘Wolf’ is that it is

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simply too long. Spanning over 18 tracks, you can’t help but loose interest as you start to see the other side of the halfway point.

EP REVIEWS

MS MR – Second Hand Rapture

When it comes to a debut album, first impressions mean everything. That all-important opportunity for people to hear your music needs to be perfect in order leave the listener with a lasting imprint. So for Brooklyn duo MS MR, their debut single, ‘Hurricane’ couldn’t have gone any better. But with the critics now eagerly waiting to hear the rest of their album, it’s make or break.

Two of the biggest bands at the moment, HAIM and Bastille, have been gradually taking over the airwaves with their cracking songs, and winning new fans with their vibrant performances. So, it almost feels right that MS MR should come along and fill-in the gaps between the two.

The Indie-Pop melodies of ‘Second Hand Rapture’ are striking, and the beauty found between the builds of rolling beats and echo drenched vocals sound divine. The powerful voice of singer Lizzy Plapinger has a Florence Welch tinge to it, and her range comes across superbly clear amongst the exciting song structures.

The steady motion of ‘BTSK (Big Teeth Small Kiss)’ is a thunderous tune that still manages to appear tender in parts, whilst the pulsing ‘Ash Tree Lane’ streams effortlessly, adding to the creativeness found within the record. As far as debut albums go, this is a shining example of how to capture an audience.

Rudimental – Home

They may have been crowned with a UK number one in the singles charts, but all round nice guys Rudimental haven’t lost sight of what’s important.

Their commitment to music has allowed them to push their sound forward, and compelled them to give something back to the community by encourage troubled kids to use music as a means to vent their frustrations. But now it’s time for them to give something back to the rest of us.

‘Home’ is the highly anticipated debut album for the London-based music collective, and just looking at the list of featured artist is enough to make you realise that these boys are already making waves.

You’ll hear first-rate vocal additions from the quicklipped Angel Haze, everyone’s favourite Olympic heroine Emeli Sanda, plus Ella Eyre, Alex Clare and John Newman all make an appearance.

The production element of this record is spot-on.

Every track has carefully been stitched together to make a ground-shaking blend of thick beats and smooth grooves. ‘Spoons’ is a bass heavy mix that’s got a wonderful arrangement of pads, clicks and blips, but ‘Hell Could Freeze Over’ shows off some real potential for the next number one spot.

Haze’s rapping is better than ever, but again the production simply shines through to make the track.

Rudimental have got nothing to prove when it comes to making great music. Their track record already shows how talented they are. If anything, this album just confirms that which we already knew.

Heart-Ships – EP1

The last band that I remember coming from Leeds was the Kaiser Chiefs… Well fear not fellow Northerners, there’s a savior to be found amongst you.

Heart-Ships are a band with a huge sound who tick all the right boxes. Their charming, yet deceivingly appealing music is an epic listening experience that surely belongs on a big stage, and this EP proves that.

They are introduced to us via the striking ‘Five Folks Of Lightening’ that has the capability of giving wellestablished bands like The National a run for their money. And the stand out track, ‘Pinhole Of Light’ conjures up similar feelings towards the brilliant Kendal band Wild Beasts, only there’s an added bit of punchiness that offers a much more bone rattling experience.

Delivering music that is both exciting and abundantly interesting is a reoccurring theme throughout EP1, and it’s something we hope to hear a lot more of in time.

Horse Thief – Grow Deep, Grow Wild

‘Grow Deep, Grow Wild’ is the debut EP from the Oklahoma based Psychedelic Folk Rock band Horse Thief. Its reverb-laden, shimmery tones present a rough-around-the-edges sound that isn’t overly appealing, but there’s certainly something worth noting.

The guitar heavy music does have it’s moments, and there’s enough flare to keep you interested during stand out track ‘The Magician’, but overall you are left feeling a little short changed.

You get the sense that Horse Thief are still trying to find their feet when it comes to songwriting, and the vocal tones on ‘The Warrior’ leave you wondering if the singer, Cameron Neal was full of cold when they recorded. Or perhaps that’s the sound they are going for..? I guess it’s just not my sort of thing.

By Robert Bramhill

FUNNY NEWS Test Gives Incest A Rest

No Handsome Reward

As someone who regularly holidayed in Norfolk as a child, BBM has literally seen the ugly face of inbreeding up close and personal. Webbed fingers might be good for swimming along the Norfolk Broads, but they’re generally frowned upon west of Bury.

You’d think being so damn sexy it would be easy for BBM to get women to sleep with us, yet whenever we offer to buy them a drink they’re so intimidated by our looks they just look shocked and shake their heads. Either that or they grab a towel and scream ‘pervert’ but that’s the risk you take when trying to meet chicks in the gym changing rooms.

If you’re in Norwich at least you have the option of taking a train further afield to broaden the prospective gene pool, but what if you’re living on an island of just 300,000 people? That’s the problem faced by the residents of Iceland, whose gene pool is more of a gene puddle. It also goes someway to explaining Bjork.

Well those jug-eared, three-legged Icelanders need worry no more as a new app has been released to make sure you don’t end up banging one of your family members.

The Islendingabók app allows you to test how closely you’re related to your date using a programme that includes information on 720,000 people and will hopefully help users avoid the possibility of shagging their long-lost auntie.

Along with a range of more conventional search functions, the app features a “bump” function that lets two users tap phones to see how closely they are related. Too close a match, and an “incest alarm” will sound - because we’re sure that’s something you want everyone in the pub to know.

Now if only they invented an app that stopped you shagging people who aren’t related to you, but who you shouldn’t diddle anyway. Like your boss’s daughter. Or fat chicks. Now that’s an app that would have saved a lot of bother for several BBC celebrities from the 70s.

A Royal Cock-Up

And time and time again we’re turned down for jobs purely because the employer knows we’ll almost certainly be sexually harassed by all the women at work, leading to a potentially expensive lawsuit. At least that’s why we assume the gym keeps turning down our job applications.

So BBM can feel the pain of three men from the UAE who have been kicked out of Saudi Arabia for the crime of being “too handsome”.

The men were attending the annual Jenadrivah Heritage and Culture Festival in the capital Riyadh when they were thrown out by religious police.

Apparently local women are banned from interacting from men they’re not related to and it was feared the delegates were too irresistible – which means Saudi Arabia would probably give BBM the death penalty as soon as they saw our gorgeous mug. Too sexy to live – that’s BBM’s motto.

A festival official said the three Emiratis were taken out on the grounds they are too handsome and that the Commission members feared female visitors could fall for them.

Which would also be a plausible explanation for revoking BBM’s gym membership rather than the one they gave: “denied due to being a registered sex offender.”

t veeerd!

Isn’t tha

Ever seen a Dutchman get angry? It’s not a pretty a sight. For starters, as Goldmember showed, they can’t pronounce their “esshes”, so the flem really starts to fly once they get rabid.

So we can only imagine the spittle erupting over the Netherlands at the moment following the nation’s anger against an “imbecilic” official song produced to mark the enthronement of King Willem-Alexander.

Apparently the song is an unlikely combination of traditional, rap and choir music. For the British equivalent, imagine Dizzee Rascal and Aled Jones recording a folk song for Prince William, then taking a shit on it and packaging it for public consumption.

“In protest at this imbecilic ‘King’s Song’, I hereby resign as a citizen of the Netherlands,” read an online petition that had already been signed by more than 7000 people, in the country of 17 million, just hours after it had been first released.

It’s not just the tune that’s been blasted, apparently the Dutch aren’t too happy with the oddball lyrics either.

They include the king saying: “I build a dyke with my bare hands and keep the water away”. Hmm, we always thought decriminalising cannabis was a good idea but if this is the sort of shit they come out with in Amsterdam maybe it’s best to keep things as they are.

The song, which lasts just over five minutes, is performed by 51 Dutch artists, many of them stars in the Netherlands – which presumably means 2 Unlimited, Robin van Persie and Rutger Hauer all appear on it.

“Through the rain and the wind, I will stay close to you, protect you from whatever may come, watch over you while you sleep,” the artists on the track sing. Sounds like the king plans on stalking his subjects.

For more funny news log on to www.bbmlive.com

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FUNNY NEWS Get Your Rocks Off If you like big rocks, access to blokes who sell weed and shagging alternative-lifestyle chicks who don’t believe in showering, then your dream job has just become available: general manager of Stonehenge.

Just how hard it is to be general manger of some rocks that have been standing in the ground for 4000 years is debatable, but apparently the successful applicant will get £65,000 a year for, basically, keeping druids off the lawn.

But despite the piece-of-piss job description, Stonehenge bosses have warned the application process will not be easy as they are only seeking the ‘brightest and best’ for the job.

Tim Reeve, English Heritage’s historic properties director, said: “It is also important to ensure we keep dignity for the stones. This year marks a new dawn for Stonehenge.”

A new dawn eh Tim? What are you going to do, spruce it up with a paint job? Put the stones at a daring new angle? Or are you just going to spunk a load of money over a new job that basically amounts to doing very little for a lot of cash?

Dying Plants Jump Off Cliff With big black lines put through the names of Rolf Harris and Jimmy Savile, the list of characters from BBM’s childhood catalogue of innocent entertainers is running woefully short. In fact, if the rumours about Gordon the Gopher and the eastern European sex workers are true we’ll be into single figures.

For now, sadly, another star must be stricken from the records as Pop’s eternal “bachelor” Cliff Richard has been found guilty – as a confirmed plant killer.

Apparently a gardening group conducted an experiment on the effects of music on flowers – with three greenhouses each played either Black Sabbath, Sir Cliff or nothing at all. In the Cliff greenhouse, all the plants were at death’s door towards the end, while those rocking out to Sabbath survived. “The ones with Black Sabbath – great big, thumping noise, rowdy music – they were the shortest, but they had the best flowers and the best resistance to pest and disease,” the study’s very boring authors blathered.

Going Up Amanda Bynes

Amanda Bynes has become just about one of the most entertaining celebs recently what with her “breakdown/through”, cheek peircings and dodgy plastic surgery.

We love her!

Emma Stone

We really feel that Emma Stone’s fitness is severely under rated.

Watch ‘Stupid Crazy Love’ to see what we mean. Perfect hangover fodder.

Reese Witherspoon Considering how long Reese Witherspoon has been a cleleb, we’re really surprised she’s only just got arrested at the age of 37. #Proud

Samantha Brick

First she thought she was more beautiful than all other women, and now she’s saying being fat is a failure.

Bore off knobber.

Tom Jones

He calls his willy Wendell, which just plain creeps us out.

The Unpleasant Pheasant When you’ve tried to get into as many women’s changing rooms as BBM has, you get used to being assaulted by angry birds, usually with only a towel to cover their modesty.

But it’s the feathered variety of bird that’s causing Shropshire resident Sally-Ann Hudson some avian aggro, as she’s being menaced by a pheasant who attacks the poor woman every time she leaves or enters her house.

Even when she’s inside, the bloody thing won’t leave her alone – head-butting the window in a sinister “come outside if you dare” threat to the 44-year-old.

“They are normally just rather dopey birds – but this one is a complete nutter,” said Ms Hudson, who never leaves the house without gloves and a badminton racquet to fend off the pheasant.

Paul North, from the World Pheasant Association, said Phil was displaying territorial behaviour during mating season.

“He obviously sees her as a rival male – pheasants are very territorial,” he said, rubbing salt into the wound by suggesting Ms Hudson looks like a man.

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Coco

We’re not really sure who or what Coco does, apart from she’s married to Ice T, but all we can say is her giant arse terrifies us greatly!

Rolf Harris

We’re pretty unimpressed that Rolf has been linked to operation Yewtree.

Here’s hoping nothing comes out about Toni Hart or our childhood was a complete farce.

Going Down

CRYSTAL BALLS

Horoscopes

Gemini

You head to war-torn Afghanistan for a weapons demonstration when you are critically wounded in an ambush and imprisoned in a cave by the terrorist group. While in the cave, an electromagnet is grafted to your heart and you build a powered exoskeleton to become a technologically advanced superhero. You also get to bang Gwyneth Paltrow. In your face Coldplay!

Taurus

Ungh. Your aunt Crystal had too much port and stilton last night. Feel sick.

Now bring me a bucket or fuck off.

It feels like there’s a terrorist atrocity happening in my bowels.

Cancer

In these economically hard times, your girlfriend understands that finding a present for her birthday might be stressful and expensive for you. That’s why she said she wanted you to make something for her rather than spend your money on jewellery or flowers. She’s quite a girl. However, your idea of threading a bunch of conkers onto a shoelace and claiming they’re “exotic anal lovebeads” is not what she had in mind. Good luck being single.

Capricorn

I see grate things for you this month Capricorn, and that’s not a misspelling, You’re captured by a Buffalo Bill-style serial killer who uses a cheese grater to shave off parts of your skin for his “flesh suit”. How many times have we heard that story right? It’s not really the best month you’ve had, but things hit a real low point on May 24th when he turns his grater on a particularly sensitive part of your body. Ever peeled a carrot?

You get the picture. Make the most of your genitals while you still can.

Libra

You start cycling to work. After a few days you get a bit bored so decide to make it more like the Tour de France by wearing a yellow shirt, taking drugs beforehand, and holding your arms aloft when you reach the office car park. Well done you!

Leo

You finally find out that if you shake your penis vigorously while thinking of naked women you can fool your willy into thinking it’s having sex.

Or as most people call it “wanking”.

Unfortunately you discover this while in a dentist’s waiting room after seeing a picture of Nigella Lawson on the cover of a complementary magazine.

It’s the sex offender’s register for you.

Aries

Seriously Aries I haven’t got time for your boring life this month.

MacGyver’s just started and there’s a double episode of Seventh Heaven on after that so you can see where I’m coming from.

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Sagittarius

We’re sorry to inform you that due to zodiac trackwork your horoscope is running approximately three to four weeks late. There is a replacement bus service instead. For more information, please visit Leo, who’s horoscope is slightly similar to yours this month, only yours has more silverback gorillas and a sexual encounter with one of the lads from Jedward. We’re sorry for any inconvenience.

Virgo

Bad news friend, the polar ice caps melt overnight killing your family and everyone you know back home.

On the plus side, an Atlantis-style underwater adventure awaits the next time you head to Europe in search of your parents’ remains. Exciting! (It’s always nice to watch the film ‘Splash’ on a hangover, and marvel at Daryl Hannah’s excellent bottom.)

Aquarius

You attempt to make girls think you’re a sexy secret service agent by attaching a piece of curly telephone wire to your ear and occasionally raising your hand to it while frowning.

Unfortunately it backfires when you are captured and tortured by a man pretending to be a Bond villain.

Taurus

It turns out your local priest is NOT a paedophile. What are the odds on that?!

Pisces

Despite insisting that newlycrowned Premier League champions Manchester United don’t have debt problems, Sir Alex Ferguson sells Wayne Rooney to Paris St Germain for $40million, and then buys you as his replacement. The tag as worst Premier League player in history beckons.

Scorpio

You heard that Mr Muscle contains vinegar and cuts through grease, so you start spraying your fish chips with it to make the meal healthier. You lose a lot of weight as a result of this unique diet – but only because they have to pump your stomach at hospital. Idiot.

On the plus side you look amazing, and you’re back in your lucky Daisy Dukes, just in time for your girlfriend’s birthday. Did I mention she dumps you on suspicion of being gay?

ASK CRYSTAL & JOKES

Ask Crystal Dear Crystal, My boyfriend says I’m always getting other people to solve my problems. How do I prove him wrong?

Yours, Selina Dear Selina, You just proved him right you dumb cow.

Dear Crystal, I moved to Sydney from Cork three years ago and love my life over here. I’ve made some great friends, have a good job and live right on the beach at Bondi. Life really couldn’t be any better.

But I’m writing to you because I’m worried about the proposed changes to working visas. I know Julia Gillard wants to shake up the system and Labour’s new policies seem intent on getting rid of anyone who isn’t at least a three-generation Aussie. I’m on a 457 visa, so it could spell the end for my life over here. I’m desperate to stay, there’s nothing to go back to Europe for, but what can I do?

Any advice you could give Crystal would be a big help.

Yours, Sean Dear Sean, You’re right, Labour are being total fucktards over

the whole visa thing and seem happy to screw over the 99 per cent of people who are contributing to the economy on 457 visas just so they use the remaining one per cent as part of some ill-advised scare campaign about “the horrors” of Jonnie Foreigner taking Aussie jobs.

And as a successful business owner, I too am concerned by the proposals. I run several brothels in the Kings Cross area, and hiring desperate backpackers to give handjobs and BJs in return for a working visa is my bread and butter.

And that’s just half the problem. A sizable chunk of my girls’ clients are from Ireland and that’s a revenue stream of jizz I can’t do without. They say Irish boys love “da craic” but they love “Da crack whores” even more.

Luckily for all concerned, Julia Gillard has about as much chance of winning the next election as Rolf Harris. And let’s just say if Tony Abbott gets in, we won’t have to worry. He popped into one of my brothels when he was a young college student and I’ve got photographic evidence that will throw serious doubts over the size of the bulge in his budgie smugglers. That’s right, he might be an ironman on the track, but he’s a miniscule man in the sack. As soon as I dangle that little carrot in

front of him, Abbott will be waving the boat people in from Christmas Island.

Dear Crystal, I’m wondering if you can help me? I have been single since landing in Oz around a year ago, and I just thought I’d have more luck finding a man in Australia, as it would be a complete change.

However no one seems to want to even go on a date with me, and if they do, they seem to only ever want to be friends. What shall I do? I’m terribly in need of some human contact.

Sincerely, Betsy Dear Betsy, It sounds to me like you may be a complete minger.

Therefore I would suggest the following...

1. Stop eating Hungry Jacks every day.

2. Go and do some sun bathing, no one likes to see pasty lard flapping around between the sheets.

3. Don’t crack jokes, just remain completely silent once you’ve achieved your six stone weight loss.

4. Maybe get some plastic surgery if your fat loss has proved that you never really did have a nice face behind all the dough.

Then maybe come and see me in Kings Cross and I’ll see if I can sort you out.

Jokes My wife said she was leaving me because I always over-exaggerate. I was so shocked I nearly tripped over my cock. Justin, Greensborough I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe.

I don’t care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe. Mike, Newcastle What’s scarier? The fat, annoying North Korean guy releasing a nuclear missile, or the fat, annoying South Korean guy releasing a new single?

James, Gladstone The Boston Paralympic Team was happy to announce 23 new members earlier today.

Kyle, Queenbeyan My wife’s tits are both a different size, one’s an E the others a GG. She’s an eggcup. Jamie, Frankston Ortographobia is the fear of spelling mistakes. That name’s tempting fate a bit I think. Paul, Torquay It is said Bilbo Baggins died with an erection. Old hobbits die hard. Neil, Lonsdale My wife hates it when I say, “You’re just like your mother!” Actually, she hates it when I say anything during sex. Adam, Perth Apparently every time I smoke a cigarette in the house my three-year-old son also smokes one. The crafty little fucker. Dale, Canberra Some homeless guy keyed my car this morning. I

couldn’t believe it. I thought, why the fuck does he have a key? Tom, Portland Can’t work out the rules of this parenting lark. I chase my little girl around the park and I’m hailed as a great Dad. I chase someone else’s and suddenly I’m a vile monster. Dan, Elizabeth For me, homework is a lot like handjobs. I can do it myself, but usually I just pay my sister to do it.

Rob, Sutherland “I trust you as far as I could throw you,” I said to my trustworthy hamster. Joe, Helensvale I was hungover this morning so phoned work and said to the boss, “I’m afraid I won’t be in today, my father had a massive heart attack and died last night.”

“That was your last chance Dave,” he replied. “I’m taking the ‘& son’ off the shop sign.”

Jack, Surry Hills My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.

“I want you to go!” she screamed.

I said, “Please can we just talk about it first?”

“Go on, I’m listening.” she replied.

I sat down and said, “It was the most amazing experience of my entire life.” Richard, Darlinghurst

Just been reading the instructions on my suppositories: Insert two inches up anus.

Keep out of reach of children.

Think I’ll do three inches to be on the safe side.

Jack, Jundaloop My son asked me to help with his homework the other day. The question he was stuck on was, “Give two ways to stop pregnancy.”

After telling him what to write I was confident he would be getting top marks.

According to his teacher though, “fucking her up the shitter,” and “blowing your load all over her tits,” were both wrong answers. Charlie, Surry Hills Found a great way of getting rid of cellulite. I just went on a week long piss up with a few mates... came home and the cellulite was gone.

Rob, St Kilda

Email us at competition@bbmlive.com to get your jokes published and win prizes.

My last girlfriend was a screamer.

Well, she wasn’t really my girlfriend...

Maybe that’s why she was screaming.

Frank, Paddington

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TRAVEL NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do in New Zealand

SKYDIVING

Skydive Lake Wanaka Ltd 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com Nzone ‘The Ultimate Jump’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SkydivingNZ.com New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING

RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING Shotover Jet

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

Glacier Guiding Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

river boarding

Mad Dog RiverBoarding 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

ACCOMMODATION Christchurch

City Oasis 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Coker’s Backpackers 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS

Bay Adventurer Backpackers & Apartments 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

Kaikoura Adelphi Lodge Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Queenstown

auckland

Bungi Backpackers 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Auckland 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

Southern Laughter Lodge 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz Nomads Queenstown 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

Franz Josef Glacier Chateau Franz 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Nomads Fat Camel 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

wellington

Nomads Capital 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

Glow Worm Cottages 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Fiji ACCOMMODATION

THINGS TO DO

BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com

THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

Skydiving

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

Scuba Diving

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

Things to do in Australia Skydiving

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra, QLD, 4551 Ph: +61 7 5437 0211 Mob: +61 0418 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au/ SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

Scuba Diving Australia

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

Adventure Tours

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com Bunyip Tours 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

Kite Surfing

KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

SURF SCHOOLS

GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURFT TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au JET SKI SAFARIS Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

Bike Riding Tours

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

Zorb Balls

OZ BALL GOLD COAST Go Zorbing with Oz Ball.

Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.ozball.com.au

Wine and Beer Tours

PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

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ACCOMMODATION LISTINGS New South Wales Sydney

World Square Hostel 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au Sydney Backpackers 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com Clovelly Hotel 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au Criterion Hotel 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au Jolly Swagman Backpackers Hostel 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au Bondi Backpackers 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au Oxford Court Accommodation Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

The Globe Backpackers 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com City Resort Hostel 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

The George Street Hotel 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au Bounce Sydney 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au Lord Wolseley Hotel 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au

Porterhouse Hotel 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au Big Hostel Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’Malley’s Hotel 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au Sydney Central Hostel 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au The Royal Hotel 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au Kanga House backpackers 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

Sydney Northern Beaches

Sydney Beachouse - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

Sydneys Southern Beaches

Cronulla Beach YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

Melaleuca Surfside Backpackers 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au Hunter Valley Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

Katoomba

Katoomba Mountain Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

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Byron Bay

Aquarius Backpackers 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au Nomads Byron Bay 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Arts Factory Lodge 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

Nambucca Heads

Nambucca Backpackers 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 info@nambuccabackpackers.com.au www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

Lake Tabourie

Lake Tabourie Tourist Park Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

Queensland Brisbane

Tinbilly Travellers 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 44 66 46 reservations@tinbilly.com www.tinbilly.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad The Deck 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay Base QLD Backpackers 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Brisbane City YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

Goldcoast

Trekkers Backpackers 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au Aquarius Backpackers 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au

Surfers Paradise YHA at Main Beach Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au Backpackers in Paradise 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com Surf N Sun Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Sleeping Inn Surfers 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au Coolangatta Sands Hostel Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au Surfers Paradise Backpackers rsrt Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

Noosa

Nomads Noosa 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

Hervey Bay

Nomads Hervey 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) Cool Bananas 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 Southern Cross (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com

1770 Beachside Backpackers 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

Cairns

CAirns Share House 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com Gilligans backpackers hotel & resort 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au Nomads Esplanade 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com Dreamtime Travellers Rest 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’s Backpackers 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

Mission Beach

Absolute Backpackers 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au Scotty’s Beach House 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

Whitsundays

Barefoot Lodge Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Airlie Beach

Airlie Beach YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/Whitsunday Village Travel 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

cape tribulation

PK’s Jungle Village Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com Ferntree Rainforest Lodge Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au Underground Backpackers 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au

western beach lodge 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com Beatty Lodge 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au Billabong Resort 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au Globe Backpackers 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au The Old Swan Barracks 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

COTTESLOE

monkey mia

rainbow beach

Pippies Beach House Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

Western Australia scarborough

ocean beach backpackers Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

Perth

Rainbow Lodge 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au One World Backpackers 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au Mountway Holiday Apartments 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au Britannia on William 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA Accommodation

Monkey Mia Dolphin Resort Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

Kununurra

Kununurra Backpackers Adventure Centre 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

broome

Beaches of Broome 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

Victoria Mildura

redcliffs hotel 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

Great Ocean Road

Johanna Beach Cottages 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com

Halls Gap

Brambuk Backpackers Hostel 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

Melbourne

Easystay Motel and Studio Apartments Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 Exford Hotel 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au Back of Chapel 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com Nomads All Nations 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad Flinders Station Hotel Backpackers 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

Melbourne International Backpackers 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au Hotel Discovery 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au

Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall. com.au

St. Kilda

alice springs

Jackson Apartments 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com Habitat HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

Annie’s Place 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

South Australia Adelaide

Apollo Bay

Apollo Bay Backpackers Lodge 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au Eco Beach YHA Eco-Hostel 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

Halls Gap

Grampians YHA Eco-Hostel Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

Northern Territory Darwin

Ashton lodge & Wisdom Bar 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au Melaleuca on Mitchell 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

Adelaide Travellers Inn Backpackers 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au Majestic Minima Hotel 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com Adelaide Shakespeare International 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

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RECRUITMENT NEWS

Alternative Regional Work Opportunities Does the idea of working on a farm for three months for a pitence whilst staying in a glorified outhouse make you recoil in horror, and get you thinking about hopping on the first flight back to Blighty? Well, we’ve got some althernative ways for you to gain your second year Working Holiday Visa without making you want to cry.

Let’s be honest: The prospect of working for 88 days in the middle of nowhere on a farm is enough to put the beejeebies up anyone. Even before you inevitably succumb to watching Wolf Creek (and for the record, no, he still remains at large). The decision to commit to the supposed ordeal should not be taken lightly but thankfully there are alternatives to completing farm work to qualify for a second year Working Holiday Visa.

To put it bluntly, the work side of the bargain covers several specific bases; from farm work to forestry, construction to conservation. When many backpackers decide to go for a second year they automatically assume three months of turning into a hunchback picking fruit or trying their best to avoid being kidnapped/ broken/ stranded on a farm. Allay your fears, while parts of Australia may seem backwards, slave labour was abolished ages ago.

With so many options one of the first things to do is to decide where you want to go. Consider which areas are best for what you want to do and where you want to be. For instance, if you want to explore the East Coast then picking fruit would be your best bet so check harvest periods and specific areas. With most of the work being outdoors, consider what time of year you want to complete the work and note down the likely climate. Be warned as many begin their regional work, then soon regret the timing as they transform into a sweaty lobster struggling with incessant back pain.

Not a good look by the way.

One of the more fruitful locations is Western Australia, particularly Dunsborough and the Margaret River region. Working on a vineyard attracts travellers, not only because there may be the chance of a few free

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samples but also the variety of work available. While there is grape picking during February and March there is also grape vine pruning from June to September and grape vine shoot thinning in November.

Staying in Western Australia there is a place that not only provides fruit picking work but also tree farming. Though Kununurra also has grapefruit, melons and pumpkins to be picked if you have an aversion to fruit there is also the mere tree that needs some attention too. The East Kimberly hub is also renowned for the Celebrity Tree Park where the likes of HRH Princess Anne, Baz Luhrmann and Rolf Harris have all planted a tree and where you could follow in their glorious footsteps.

If you are one of those conscientious types willing to give something back to the world then you can volunteer. Becoming a conservation volunteer is a great way to get back to nature and see parts of Australia you had already intended to visit.

Conservation Volunteers Australia ( C o n s e r v a t i o n Vo l u n t e e r s . c o m . au) completes over 2000 projects across Australia every year, many of which rely on volunteers who have little, if any, prior experience.

From endangered species care to landcare management and coastline maintenance there is a variety of work available.

A regular yearly occurrence of bushfires and disaster relief also relies on volunteers to pitch in for conservation and environmental reforestation work. For those with green fingers this can mean both replanting trees, but also felling ones as preparation to clear areas before the fire hits. After the disaster has hit there is often work such as construction or landscaping.

Do ensure, especially if you are opting away from farm work, that you check that the work is undertaken in a qualifying postcode, basically one that is not in a major city. Be selfish and pick various areas you would like to experience and even cultures to immerse yourself in. Think of jobs that are not specific to the region; jobs such as traffic controllers.

If you would prefer to be on the coast and not picking fruit then maybe oyster pearling is for you. The best areas include WA and Queensland while towards the north Darwin and Broome are centres of business.

Availability is vital with many dropping out due to inherent seasickness or simply not being able to get to the boat in time. Despite the early starts it remains a great way to experience the ocean and check out the marine life including dolphins, sharks, whales and turtles. The work is also a great way to meet travellers, many of whom will be in the same boat as you, literally. You can expect to earn between $120 and $145 per day while accommodation and food are both provided. If you are interested then Jobaroo.com is a good resource to check out.

If you are after the dollars then mining is a great way to make some very good hard earned cash. Whether it is coal and metal ore mining or even oil and gas extraction as long as it is in a regional area it counts and with the current mining boom in Western Australia even cities close to Perth such as York are included. While the best paid jobs will go to the skilled and experienced there are mining jobs for those without a relevant background including trades assistant and fire watcher. You may be required to a prior police check and you also might be subjected to alcohol and drugs screenings to make sure you’re fit

for the job, so it’s an idea to behave.

What is a final added bonus is the fact that most mines will pay for your travel out there, great news as most are in the middle of nowhere.

If the prospect of spending most of your time underground is not your thing then you could become a truck or forklift drivers though you must possess a HC license that allows you to drive a Heavy Combination vehicle.

The decision to opt for the 88 days regional work can be a difficult one, but do not restrict yourself to farm work and a lifetime of back pain.

There are other options available than can lead to exploring areas of Australia you always wanted to visit.

Spend some time asking yourself what you want to do then find out how to do it, Travellers Contact Point (Travellers.com.au) is usually a good place to start. From oyster pearling on the coast to getting involved in the country’s mining boom, you can also earn money while you earn your second year Working Holiday Visa.

What counts as “Regional Work”…

Plant and animal cultivation Fishing and pearling Tree farming and felling Mining Construction

Useful websites to visit... www.bbmlive.com/Australian-Visas/ visa-information-australia.html www.immi.gov.au jobsearch.gov.au/harvesttrail/ jobboard.ozwork.com.au www.jobs4travellers.com.au w w w. o u t b a c k - a u s t r a l i a - t r a v e l secrets.com

By Omar Soliman

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Crossword

Across:

Just to make sure you’ve read and digested the whole entire magazine, we’ve put together this crossword to put your knowledge to the test. Prove you’ve been paying attention with the clues provided...

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3. Ocean surrounding Sri Lanka (6) 4. A type of yoga (8) 6. Convicts were sent to this Island (8) 8. Name of Rudimental’s debut album (4) 12. Most iconic Blues festival in Australia, Blues On __________ (10) 14. Rock named after then Chief Secretary of South Australia, Sir Henry (5) 15. The Sea whales migrate through (6) 16. Known as the ‘Garden State’ (8) 17. Light show taking place between 24th May – 10th June at the Opera House _____ Sydney (5)

Down:

1. Waterfall in Kakadu that’s so good they named it twice (3) 2. Largest fringing reef in the world (8) 5. The Great Ocean Road stretches from Torquay to (10) 7. Whitsunday Islands were discovered and named by Captain (4) 9. Where The Corner Hotel is based (8) 10. Where you can find rock-climbing centre, City Summit in Western Australia (6) 11. One of the Sydney Art School locations (7) 12. Name of new club in Ibiza where The Shapeshifters will be playing (5) 13. World’s smallest penguins (5)

Answers can be found on our competitions page www.bbmlive.com/competitions.html or facebook.com/bbmmagazine

Pub Quiz Knowledge If you’re into pub quizzes then you’ll be pleased with this list of useless facts that you think you don’t need to know, as you’ll never know when that pointless bit of information you’ve retained will come in handy...

During Medieval times, red hair was associated with intense sexual desire and moral degradation.

The average person talks three times as loud when on a mobile phone than with another person.

10% of people say they text during sex, while 15% say they would answer a phone call midsex.

Pigeons can actually remember humans by face - If you chase one away, it will avoid you during later encounters.

During times of inflation or economic disparity in Russia, teachers can be paid in Vodka.

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A human head will remain conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after being decapitated.

in 9 states - But, it is legal to have sex with a horse in 23 states.

There is a small village named “Pussy” in France - The people who live in the village are referred to as “Pussies.”

Eminem wrote and recorded “The Real Slim Shady” three hours before his album was due.

Drinking a banana milkshake can cure a hangover.

After Tupac was cremated, his ashes were mixed with marijuana and smoked by members of his Hip-Hip group, Outlawz.

In 1997, Yahoo turned down the offer to buy Google for $1 million - Today, Google is worth about $200 billion.

In America, same-sex marriage is only legal

It takes about 42 hours for sloths to have sex.

The word “slut” was originally used to describe a woman who didn’t keep her room clean.

Both Hitler and Bin Laden were announced dead on 1st May. “Good bye” came from “God bye”, which came from “God be with you”.

78% of the United States’ presidents have been left handed, where only 1 in 11 people are born left handed.