BBM LIVE OCTOBER ISSUE 738

EDITOR Hannah Shakir hannah.shakir@what-media.com SPORTS & NEWS EDITOR Richard Gadsby EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Charlotte Mellor SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Bryony Curtis CONTRIBUTORS Omar Soliman, Esther Anyakwo, Nancy Sutcliffe, Aaron Bates, Lillie Almond, Jade Cayton, Lucie Potter, Robert Bramhill, Bryony Curtis, Alastair Davidson, Jason Barr, Priya Shemar, Sophie Saint, Catriona Harvey-Jenner, Emma Walker WEB DEVELOPMENT Luke Webber DESIGN Basil Thomas design@what-media.com Michael Cusack PRINT & WEB ADVERTISING & MARKETING Tom Shakir tom.shakir@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 James Edwards promotions@what-media.com Lucie Potter marketing1@what-media.com CLASSIFIEDS & LISTINGS info@what-media.com +61 2 8005 8162 PRINTED BY SPOTPRESS NOTE TO ADVERTISERS Gaining the approval for the use of trademarks and images in advertisments is the responsibility of the advertiser and not What Media Pty Ltd. Advertising material is accepted in good faith and What Media Pty Ltd bears no responsibility for any claims or errors. Copyright of original material is held by What Media Pty Ltd. Reproduction in whole or part is forbidden except with written permission of the publishers.

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FESTIVAL SEASON Here at BBM, we understand that you have to prepare for festivals and end-of-year celebrations way in advance. So, we’ve gathered together all of the important events, dates and info that you need to know to start planning!

Subsonic Music Festival 2013

Field Day 2014

Surfside Coogee Beach for Christmas and New Year’s

Southbound Festival 2014

Bringing together cutting-edge artists with sounds from all over the music spectrum, this festival really is unlike any other. Taking place in beautiful camping grounds by the Karuah River, the location adds to the laidback atmosphere of the festival. Expect to hear the unique sounds of Chic feat. Nile Rodgers, Electric Empire, Kill Frenzy, Kora, Zed Bias and many more.

What: Subsonic Music Festival 2013 Where: Riverwood Downs Mountains Valley Resort When: Friday 6th- Sunday 8th December 2013 More info: www.subsonicmusic.com.au

GRAPHIC 2013 Festival

This incredible weekend of music, animation and storytelling is set to showcase the legends of the pop, print and pixel worlds at the Sydney Opera House. The art festival will include an opening from Seth Green (Family Guy) and friends in ‘Robot Chicken Live’, as well as the talents of renowned Italian pianist Ludovico Einaudi and the multimedia artist Claudio Sinatti (X-Men, Superman).

What: GRAPHIC 2013 Festival Where: Sydney Opera House, various venues When: Friday 4th- Monday 7th October 2013 More info: sydneyoperahouse.com/Graphic

Let Them Eat Cake

Let Them Eat Cake is back after an explosive debut New Year’s Day 2013. On 1st January 2014, Werribee Mansion parklands will play host to this party, with a mystery line-up that last year included Flying Lotus, Gasalamp Killer, DJ Markey and many more. Listen to great music as you enjoy artisanal cuisine, cake and cocktails to the delight of your taste buds. Tickets go on general release 8th October 2013.

What: Let Them Eat Cake Where: Werribee Park, K Road, Werribee South VIC 3030, Australia When: 01 January, 2014 More info: www.letthemeatcakenyd.com.au

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Future Music Festival

The organisers have promised that next year’s Future Music Festival will be the most electrifying year yet.

With an aim to increase the quality every year, organisers have secured acts like Deadmau5, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Rudimental, 2Chainz and Eric Prydz for the upcoming event. This five-date tour is sure to hit a city near you between Saturday 1st March and Monday 10th March 2014, so you have no excuse but to see what’s on offer. Tickets are on sale right now, so get moving!

What: Future Music Festival Where: Brisbane, Perth, Sydney, Melbourne & Adelaide When: Saturday 1st March Monday 10th March 2014 More info: www.futuremusicfestival.com

Stereosonic Festival

This annual festival is back with the hottest acts in Dance and Electronic music. Line-up this year includes the incredible David Guetta, Calvin Harris, Nero, Empire of the Sun, Armin van Buuren, Afrojack and many more.

What: Stereosonic Festival 2013 Where: Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth and Brisbane When: November 30th 2013 December 8th 2014, depending on the city More info: stereosonic.com.au

Looking for BBQs, drinks and a whole lot of fun this Christmas?

Head to Coogee Beach - a haven for people that want to relax and enjoy themselves with friends.

When you book, you receive food, accommodation and an amazing experience, so you’ll need to be speedy!

What: Surfside Coogee Beach for Christmas and New Year’s Where: Coogee Beach, New South Wales When: Between 21st December 2013 - 4th January 2014 More info: hwww. surfsidebackpackers.com.au/ christmas-new-year-coogee/

Falls Festival with Johnny Marr

Added to the line-up for the Falls Festival this year is the legendary Johnny Marr of The Smiths. Catch him with Crystal Fighters, Grizzly Bear, London Grammar, MGMT, Vampire Weekend, Solange, Violent Femmes and many others. Tickets for Victoria have completely sold out, but you can still purchase Tasmania and New South Wales.

What: The Falls Music & Arts Festival Where: Marion Bay, Tasmania and Byron Bay, New South Wales.

When: Sunday 29th December 2013- Friday 3rd January 2014 More info: fallsfestival.com.au

Every year Sydney shows us how they do what they do best: have a field day! After the success of last year, we know that this year is going to be even better with stunning surroundings and eclectic music.

The pumped up atmosphere cannot be created anywhere else as 25,000 people dance shoulder-to-shoulder, giving themselves to the music and positive vibes. Bring all your friends along to the most talked-about party, in the heart of the city.

What: Field Day 2014 Where: The Domain, Sydney When: Wednesday 1st January 2014 More info: www.fielddaynyd.com.au

Southbound Festival is one of the coolest festivals happening this summer with an incredible line-up of local bands, as well as the more international, such as The War on Drugs, Thundamentals, The Roots, Big Scary, Johnny Marr and others.

The bar has certainly been raised high since outstanding artists like Two Door Cinema Club performed last year. Campers can head down to Busselton, WA for two days of amazing artists and a sun-soaked atmosphere.

What: Southbound Festival 2014 Where: Sir Stewart Bovell Park, Busselton, WA When: Friday 3rd- Saturday 4th January 2014 More info: www.southboundfestival.com.au

Bluesfest 2014

The famous festival will be returning once again with a line-up better than ever. Lovers of Blues and Roots will be pleased to know that next year at Byron Bay you could be joining John Mayer, Erykah Badu, Iron & Wine, KT Tunstall, Dave Matthews Band, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros and many more. The buzz around this festival gets even bigger as more acts are announced, so book early.

What: Bluesfest 2014 Where: Tyagarah Tea Tree Farm, near Byron Bay When: Thursday 17th April – Monday 21st April 2014 More info: www.bluesfest.com.au

HIGHLIGHTS

Craft Beers On Tap We at BBM are true beer lovers, and with this in mind, we’d like to tell you where you can celebrate the ancient tradition of Oktoberfest in style, or just fill your mouths with some quality craft beer. We’ve sourced the best venues that really care about beer, so enjoy what they have to offer, and have a fantastic Oktoberfest.

The Local Taphouse

Situated in Melbourne and Sydney, The Local Taphouse, influenced by 1930s European taverns, has become well known for its hand crafted international and local beers. With four taps reserved for guest brew houses and 16 more that are regularly changing, there’s always something fresh and different to try.

If you fancy sampling some exquisite golden suds, The Local Taphouse is the place to go, home to both locally and internationally brewed beers. They will be getting into the Bavarian spirit of Oktoberfest on 12th October by offering 10 German beers on tap and 10 Australian versions of German beers. Along with German themed extras such as an Oom-pah-pah band and bratwurst on the menu, there’s no better way to experience the greatest beer festival in the world, in your local area, courtesy of The Local Taphouse.

184 Carlislest, St Kilda East, Melbourne 122 Flinders Street, Darlinghurst, Sydney www.thelocal.com.au

Archive Beer Boutique

Archive’s Beer Boutique is Brisbane’s premier craft beer bar and bistro boasting both domestic and imported beers from around the world. They have 18 constantly rotating draught beers on tap and a variety of 400+ bottled beers. There’s always something going on at Archive. Every Monday is a night filled to the brim with burgers, great beers and board games; Trivia Tuesday is a great night for all you people wanting to put your common knowledge to the test; Wednesdays offer a fabulous deal of two-for-one on main meals all day; and Thursday is pizza and pool night, comprising of a pool competition with cash prize and pizzas for only $12. For all you music lovers out there, Archive presents live music from 9pm till late every Friday and Saturday. To finish off the week, it’s Beer ‘O Clock at Archive alongside a cracking deal on schnitzels at $10 and live music, all in one great evening to prepare you for the Monday grind. To get in the German spirit of Oktoberfest, they are introducing ‘Beer Academy’ on Thursday 10th October, where they offer a four-course meal with beer to match your grub perfectly for $70, presented by Brooklyn Brewery.

100 Boundary Street, West End, Brisbane www.archivebeerboutique.com.au

German Club Tivoli

As the largest German cultural organisation in Melbourne, The German Club Tivoli is steeped in history, dating back to 1860, and despite various changes of address over the years, the club has managed to stick to its German roots.

They are dedicated to preserving the German culture through song, dance and other German traditions. Treat yourself and join them for their monthly frühschoppen (a beer in the morning) on the first Sunday of every month with entertainment and a free Lucky Members Draw to win a cash prize.

Oktoberfest is a pretty big deal here! If last year’s event is anything to go by, there will be dancers, yodelers, folk singers and traditional bands taking to the spotlight, along with glorious German beer and a tasty menu of sausages, sauerkraut and schnapps. There is no better place to experience Oktoberfest than a venue which is run by, and home to, many Germans.

Deutscher Verein Melbourne Inc., 291 Dandenong Road, Windsor www.germanclubtivoli.com.au

Little Guy

Little Guy specialises in Australian craft beers, boutique wines and boasts a weekly changing cocktail list. With 16 great beers available, this is a great spot to visit after you have been inspired by Oktoberfest’s range of good quality beer. Live music features at Little Guy every Wednesday and Sunday and they offer locally sourced nibbles throughout the week. Hump Wednesdays at this cheeky venue offer their ‘beer of the week’ for $5, whilst The Petting Zoo fill the venue with their jazzy, funky tunes. At Little Guy, they understand the struggles of a hangover after a wild Saturday night out drinking. Sip through your banging headache with a Bloody Mary for $10 and $5 on house spirits, as everybody knows hair of the dog is the best and most fun cure to overcome a hangover! They also understand how good quality beer is hard to find, so to celebrate the joy of fantastic beer, they are introducing Sydney Craft Beer Week. Events such as the Rocket Science Tap Takeover, Thirsty Crow Triple Tap Takeover and the Riverside Brewing Tap Takeover will be hosted at the venue from 22nd to 26th October.

87 Glebe Point Road, Sydney www.thelittleguy.com.au

Five Bar

For a small bar, Five has so much to offer. With its chilled atmosphere, friendly bar staff and comfortable furniture, along with a range of craft beers, it makes for a great place to meet friends and discover a new brewski. As a dedicated supporter of a number of local WA craft breweries, such as Feral, Bootleg and Little Creatures, they have a great selection of beer available. If you’re into your beer or want to explore what craft beers have to offer, on the first Wednesday of every month a local brewery takes over the bar for ‘Tap Takeover’, combining food with the beers on offer. Every other Wednesday is ‘Taphouse Wednesday’ from 6pm onwards, where Five offer the best local craft beer alongside mouthwatering American pub nosh such as southern fried chicken and sticky ribs at affordable prices.

560 Beaufort Street, Mt Lawley www.fivebar.com.au

By Nancy Sutcliffe

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SPORTS BARS

Melbourne Cup A Day At The Races...

The time has come once again for Australia’s highly anticipated racing event. This year, Flemington will be hosting the Melbourne Cup Carnival, so trot down to your favourite bar, quit horsing around and stirrup some trouble. Even if you can’t make it to the racecourse, this is one of the biggest and best events in Australia. So Hay, get involved!

But don’t make the mistakes that one of our less bright colleagues made last year. He put $1000 on a horse and it collapsed. It’s not as bad as you think, one very rich gentlemen has decided to buy a racehorse especially for cup day called “My Face”. The reason being he wanted to see it running down the home straight with all the women shouting: “Come on My Face.”

The one thing you don’t have to worry about on Cup Day is finding somewhere in the neigh-bourhood to spend the day.

Harness your creativity, rein in all of your friends and make Tuesday 5th November a day to remember.

Why not spend the day at a hoof-top bar?

Meanwhile, we’re hoping our friend will get better soon after she ate something dodgy and developed the trots. She actually ended up in hospital, but her condition is said to be stable. We’re hoping she’ll be fully recovered on Cup Day. Place your bets, at 10-1, we’re saying that there’s going to be one person in the office who won’t get off their high horse and will refuse to put in any money for the office sweep. Surely, everyone can spare $1 on one of the most important days of the year? We would suggest that whoever doesn’t bet any money should have their keyboard letters switched around, which is not ideal for the early morning email replies.

If there’s one thing we don’t like on Cup Day, that’s people who bale.

Who could’ve thought there could be so many horse puns? What are the odds on that?

By Lucie Potter

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Turf Bar Lagerfield Sports Bar Bridie O’Reilly’s

Melbourne Melbourne Melbourne

The Brass Monkey

Perth

Cheers 24/7 Sports Bar Churchills

Sydney Sydney Sydney

The Pineapple Hotel The Grosvenor

Brisbane Brisbane

The Highway

Adelaide

10,000 camels

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SPORTS BARS Quotes Of The Month...

Who’s been saying what, in the world of sport...

A tip of the hat goes to Paulo Di Canio, the straight talking Italian, putting in the simplest terms, his view on captain Lee Cattermole: “Maybe one day, if he can show me that he understands football, then yes he can play again.”

Contradiction from new Arsenal signing Mesut Ozil of Germany, who seems to give out a mixed message to Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti, stating his reasons for leaving: “Ozil preferred to leave. He said he left the club because he didn’t feel trust. But he never came to talk to me.”

Ex-Lions hooker Brian Moore gives Manu Tuilagi a slap on the wrist for his behaviour at Downing Street: “Manu, everyone thinks you are a two-year old, do you really want that? Now go away and grow up please.”

While boxing legend Floyd ‘Money’ Mayweather is earning 49.5 million for two fights a year, Ronnie ‘The Rocket’ O’Sullivan clearly feels snooker doesn’t offer the same incentive to play: “When I was 18 or 19 I could take my winnings for the season and buy six onebedroom flats in Stratford in East London. Now, I couldn’t afford one.”

Meanwhile Mayweather’s agent Leonard Ellerbe feels luck is on their side when the next opponent is chosen for his reigning undefeated champion client: “We can’t help it Alvarez has idiots for managers, but we’re going to take every advantage they give us.”

By Aaron Bates

International Fixtures English Premier League Oct 5 Man City v Everton – 21.45 – Fox 2 Oct 6 Liverpool v Crystal Palace - 00.00 - Fox 2 Oct 6 Sunderland v Man Utd – 03.30 – Fox 2 Oct 7 West Brom v Arsenal – 02.00 – Fox 1 Oct 7 Tottenham v West Ham – 22.30 – Fox 1 Oct 7 Southampton v Swansea – 23.00 – Fox 1 Oct 19 Newcastle v Liverpool – 22. 45 – Fox 1 Oct 20 Chelsea v Cardiff - 01.00 – Fox 1 Oct 20 West Ham v Man City – 02.30 – Fox 1 Oct 20 West Ham v Manchester City – 3.30 – Fox 1 Oct 21 Aston Villa v Tottenham – 02.00 – Fox 1 Oct 22 Crystal Palace v Fulham – 07.00 -Fox 1 Oct 26 Crystal Palace v Arsenal – 22.45 – Fox 1 Oct 27 Man Utd v Stoke – 01.00 – Fox 1 Oct 27 Southampton v Fulham – 03.30 – Fox 1 Oct 28 Sunderland v Newcastle – 2.00 – Fox 1 Oct 28 Chelsea v Man City – 3.00 – Fox 1 Oct 28 Tottenham v Hull – 3.00 - Fox 2 Oct 28 Swansea v West Ham – 3.00 – Fox 3

Scottish Premiership - Setanta Oct 6 Dundee Utd v Kilmarnock – 9:00 AM 1st Airing Oct 6 Ayr v Rangers – 10:40 PM LIVE Oct 8 Partick v Hibernian – 5:40 AM LIVE Oct 19 Hibernian v Celtic – 10:25 PM LIVE Oct 20 Aberdeen v Dundee Utd – 5:30 PM 1st Airing Oct 27 Partick v Celtic – 11:40 PM LIVE Nov 3 Motherwell v Hibernian – 11:30 PM LIVE Nov 5 Aberdeen v Partick – 6:40 AM LIVE

Bundesliga - Setanta Oct 6 Leverkusen v Bayern Munich – 3:25 AM LIVE Oct 7 Freiburg v Frankfurt – 2:25 AM LIVE Oct 20 Bayern Munich v Mainz – 12:00 PM 1st Airing Oct 27 Wolfsburg v Werder Bremen – 3:25 AM LIVE Nov 2 Dortmund v Stuttgart – 6:25 AM LIVE

Rugby - Union Heineken Cup - Setanta Oct 19 Saracens v Toulouse – 7:30 AM 1st Airing Oct 20 Munster v Glasgow – 3:55 AM LIVE Oct 20 Leinster v Castres – 9:40 AM 1st Airing Oct 21 Clermont v Harlequins – 1:30 PM 1st Airing

UEFA Europa League - Setanta Oct 25 Sheriff v Tottenham – 3:50 AM LIVE Oct 25 Swansea v Kuban Krasnodar – 5:55 AM LIVE

UFC Oct 10 UFC 166 Maya vs Shields – 10am Barueri, Brazil Oct 20 UFC 166 Velasquez vs Dos Santos – 1pm Houstan, Texas Oct 27 UFC Fight Night Machida vs Munoz – 6am Manchester, England

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Welsh Rugby Can’t Buy You Parking

It’s that serious that, yes, we have to put gate in the title. The conquest to stop Tottenham fans chanting ‘Yids’, their own nickname, continues as the Professional Footballer’s Association have demanded that Tottenham stop chanting the ‘offensive’ term.

Even being a former rugby player can’t catch you a break. But on the other hand, parking in a building site to run into a supermarket isn’t normal! Try Sainsbury’s; free parking anytime!

As you can tell, Spurs have a strong Jewish fan base, and although the fans have come down with some pretty strong abuse from opposition (we’re lookin at you Gooners!), the fans have gone to chanting it about themselves!

The Irony of that hey? But the PFA have demanded the chanting stop, with PFA member Clarke Carlisle calling it “a derogatory, offensive term that belittles a whole section of society.”

Former Rugby international Colin Charvis was visiting his Carpet and Flooring shop in Swansea (yes the only other Welsh town people know other than Cardiff), and a dispute led to his car being towed away. Charvis was in such a rush, that he left his car in a city centre building lot where the builders were digging a trench (God knows what for!) when Charvis refused to move the car; leading to his white Range Rover being towed.

Charvis said that his shop had seen a drop in trade due to the on-going building works, and he and his staff were all working extra part time hours to keep the shop afloat.

David Cameron also waded into the debate, saying how the Spurs fans should carry on saying the term, as long as it is not offensive to others.

Because of all of this, the 84 capped Welsh international player is considering moving his business to another town, or relocating in Swansea.

Well, at least we know which London team David Cameron supports, just don’t go round to Number 10 if you’re Jewish expecting a tame reception…

Maybe the Millenium Stadium could do with some carpets, and reward Collin for his 84 caps Wales!

He did enough didn’t he?

Mission Impossible Italian football coach, Luca De Pra, was recently caught red-handed spying on a rival team’s training session.

Attempting to get inside information and dressed in full camouflage gear, Luca De Pra was spotted hiding up a tree ahead of his team, Genoa’s game with Sampdoria and was promptly chased away by a group of irate Italian men - think ‘Rambo’ meets ‘The Godfather’. After failing to convince Sampdoria officials he was simply enjoying a bit of bird watching, De Pra was set free to return to his own club. An official statement on Sampdoria’s website reads; “No prisoners were taken and no blood was shed” before stating “you should always forgive your enemies…as nothing annoys them more”.

Genoa on the other hand went all CIA on us and took the “we know nothing” line. Rejecting any involvement, they left De Pra hanging out to dry, arguing it was “a personal initiative” of the goalkeeping coach. Whatever happened to never leaving a man behind, eh? His Bear Grylls impersonation must have got him some good intelligence as Genoa won the game between the two sides 3-0.

By Jason Barr & Alastair Davidson

All games listed are subject to change without notice. Please check with each venue prior to arrival to see if your team is playing, live and with sounds to avoid disappointment

‘Yidgate’ Continues, As David Cameron Chats More $h1t

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SYDNEY

Halloween Events in Sydney Halloween Garden Party at Chinese Laundry

Chinese Laundry’s annual Halloween Garden Party is set to be huge this year, with Booka Shade and Digitalism both exclusively performing DJ sets.

Immerse yourself in the sounds of these two huge German Electronic acts for a Halloween night you’ll never forget. For those of you who are just looking for an excuse to have an amazing night out, Halloween at Chinese Laundry is the best option. www.chineselaundryclub.com.au

Karnevil Halloween

There are so many huge events happening in Sydney on this year’s All Hallows’ Eve, it’s going to be hard to decide which to attend.

We’ve put together some events that will suit all tastes, but if you enjoy being so scared that you’re unable to breathe, have we got the events for you!

Halloween Cruise VII

For a Halloween with a difference, board the Halloween Cruise VII on the Sydney Harbour on Saturday 26th October. Sip on some Halloween Juice and join over 300 revellers dressed up as your favourite spooky character. The tickets cost $35 and the party goes on for four hours after departing from King St Wharf Pier 26, cruising around the harbour. If you’re not dressed up you won’t be allowed in, so start preparing the scariest outfit you can conjure up.

Entertainment comes in the way Kuriosity Killz, cop THAT and DJ VFerdinand and the party continues at the Shelbourne Hotel on Sussex Street. www.stickytickets.com.au

Circoloco Halloween

Circoloco is returning to Australia this Halloween for one of the best underground parties in Sydney. On Saturday 2nd November, join Jamie Jones, DJ W!ld and Margaret Dygas for the start of the summer series. Taking place at the Greenwood Hotel, Ame will be making their Circoloco Australian debut.

With big names like Matthias Tanzmann and Francesca Lombardo on the terrace, you’re in for a seriously big night. So, get your fancy dress sorted immediately, tell all your friends and head to this amazing gig. Second release tickets are going for $59, so get in quick - this is not an event you want to miss. www.pulseradio.net/events

On Saturday 26th October, Karnevil will invade Luna Park’s Big Top for a frightening Halloween, complete with haunted house and live DJ sets. An evening full of thrills and chills, guests will be welcomed by ghouls and spooks, circus freaks performing harrowing acts and all sorts of deadly characters on the harbour. Music and visuals will be provided by Bombs Away, Nina Las Vegas, What So Not and Ego, and fancy dress is expected of every attendee to get into the Halloween spirit, with prizes for best-dressed. www.bigtopsydney.com/karnevil

Black Cherry Halloween Anniversary Party

The club that prides itself on showcasing underground Rock ’n’ Roll bands, burlesque performers, artists and DJ’s, will be celebrating its 7th anniversary with a Halloween party on Saturday 26th October. This huge party will take place within the walls of the Factory Theatre Complex, inside three horrorthemed rooms complete with a mariachi band, Mexican-masked wrestling, a beer garden, face and body paint and spooky goings-on all night. Burritos and other Mexican dishes will be supplied for you to feast on, so get your dead schoolgirl/undead axe murderer costume ready and have a wicked party! www.blackcherrypresents.com.au

By Lucie Potter

Top Ten Scariest Films To Watch This Halloween

Halloween on the Rocks

There are some strange and gruesome stories buried beneath The Rocks, which makes it perfect for Halloween. A tour on 31st October reveals the untold tales that lie down under, with murder, suicide and hauntings all on the cards. This is one of the more cultural ways to spend your Halloween, as you will discover everything spooky about Sydney’s history. With recent sightings by customers of a paranormal presence, this is no joke. Once you’ve made your way through the creepy course, you can recuperate in a local hotel for some post-tour drinks and nibbles. Explore Sydney’s haunted past for $58pp. www.ghosttours.com.au

Magique Halloween Circus

Magique Halloween Circus is the biggest, craziest and quirkiest dance party event of the year. There is some seriously freaky entertainment to get you in the mood for the chilling night ahead, including sword swallowers, fire twirlers, pole dancers, jugglers and stunt men for some petrifying entertainment. It is compulsory to dress up, so expect some stiff competition, as party goers will be bringing out the big guns for their scary outfits. This year, the event takes place on the largest boat in Sydney, the Bella Vista, holding 900 people. This is going to be the biggest boat party in the city, joined by live musicians and DJ’s pumping out the best Electro, House, RnB, Hip Hop and Hardstyle. www.magique.com.au

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1. The Exorcist(1973) 2. Creep (2004) 3. IT (1990) 4. The Birds (1963) 5. Saw II (2005) 6. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) 7. 28 Days Later (2002) 8. Hostel (2005) 9. The Shining (1980) 10. The Omen (1976)

SYDNEY

Eat Your Way around The World While you may have come to Australia in search of glorious white sand, the Great Barrier Reef, kangaroos and copious amounts of cheap goon, we think you should know that a taste of the whole world is on offer. Thanks to migrants coming to Australia over the last century, the most diverse cuisine is on offer throughtout Sydney, so here’s a few of the best...

otherwise known as marinated grilled chicken breast, parsley, onion and garlic dip for $23? From the unique flavours and heat of the kitchen, you’ll be feeling like you just had dinner in the Middle East.

529 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills www.alaseel.com.au

of Sydney, Lucky Tsotsi brings you authentic street food made to order. Intended to be shared with friends, grab some chicken wings for $11.90 or prawns for $16.90, both smothered in Peri Peri sauce. You can also try $7.90 samp & beans, which sees crushed corn and beans stewed together with tomato, onion and capsicum, a rumoured favourite of the great Nelson Mandela.

245 Oxford Street, Darlinghurst www.luckytsotsi.com.au

China Doll, Chinese

Mejico, Mexican

At Mejico, market-to-table is the philosophy.

Basically, if it ain’t growing, it ain’t on the menu. This means that you can be sure to receive a quality, seasonal meal with fresh-that-morning ingredients.

This being so, the menu is small, but packs a spicy punch. From the guacamole with “fancy dress additional ingredients” like wasabi or walnuts, to the $34 messy-but-worth-it glazed pork ribs in a chipotle chilli marinade. This wouldn’t be Mexico without a touch of tequila – hell, even the $6 milk chocolate shot dessert has it!

105 Pitt Street, Sydney www.mejico.com.au

Manu at L’étoile, French

Indian Palace, Indian

Since opening its doors in 1984, Indian Palace has offered curry-lovers amazing food at great value.

Whether you’re partial to a hot lamb vindaloo, fancy snacking on an onion bhaji or want to dare try something you’ve never heard of, it’s all on the menu. Goat, chicken, lamb, beef and seafood are mixed with spices and served in sauces that will make your mouth water. With group bookings of up to 100 available, bring your friends, family AND work colleagues to see what India brings to the table!

235 Darling Street, Balmain www.indianpalace.com.au

Don your beret, practise your best French accent and become the epitome of sophistication at Létoile. Situated inside a gorgeous little Victorian terrace with a charming atmosphere to match, the wine bar is friendly and welcoming, but the proof is in the starter, main and pudding. Entrees are $22 each and include rock fish soup, eggplant caviar and veal sweetbreads, $37 mains involve braised beef cheeks, pork tenderloin and poached snapper, and for dessert - classic vanilla crème brûlée at $8.

211 Glenmore Road, Paddington www.letoilerestaurant.com.au

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When it comes to Italian cuisine, you want the best, and Bel Paese isn’t far off. Though you may spend more than you would on a greasy pizza in a box, it’s well worth it when teamed with welcoming hospitality, beautiful gardens, amazing food and one very satisfied customer! The a la carte menu starts with pumpkin and goat’s cheese ravioli from $19.50, provides a grilled eye beef fillet main course for $35.50 and finishes with blood-orange panna cotta at $14.50.

76 Berry Street, North Sydney www.belpaese.net.au

Lord Dudley, English

Al Aseel, Lebanese

Lebanese restaurant Al Aseel is Sydney’s answer to the Middle East, and has provided classic recipes for travellers and locals to enjoy. Why not try some mansaf lamb, made with brown rice and minced-meat, topped with lamb strips, mixed nuts and yoghurt for $26? Or how about shishtawook,

Bel Paese, Italian

Lucky Tsotsi, South African

Taking the shebeen (makeshift shacks where town folk ate and drank illegally but happily) from South Africa and putting it slap bang in the middle

We couldn’t possibly mention all these foods from around the world without slipping in some English grub! Step inside Lord Dudley and you’ll be transported to an old country pub in the middle of Yorkshire (without the accent). Get a glass of Old Speckled Hen from the tap and then sit down to a meal of $22.50 chicken, ham and mushroom pie, $27.50 pork belly or $29.50 lamb shank. It’s the desserts that will really bring you back home, with additions of Eton Mess and Bread & Butter Pudding, both $9.50.

236 Jersey Road, Woollahra www.lorddudley.com.au

By Charlotte Mellor

Get dressed up and enjoy a lavish banquet of wok fried Alaskan king crab, organic beef fillet with capsicum chilli and cumin, and hiramasa kingfish, courtesy of South East Asia. At China Doll, you’re presented with a true tast of the Orient, with dishes from Japan, China and Hong Kong, accompanied by a spectacular view of the Sydney skyline. A combination of hot, sour, salty, sweet and aromatic flavours keeps diners coming back time and time again.

Shop 4, 6 Cowper Wharf Road, Woolloomooloo www.chinadoll.com.au

The Sugar Mill 33-35 Darlinghurst Road Kings Cross Monster Mondays trivia and DJ karaoke

Coogee Bay Hotel 253 Coogee Bay Road, Coogee Spaghetti with meatballs and garlic bread $15 10am-10pm plus free pool all day

The Porterhouse 233 Riley Street Surry Hills $10 Lasagne and chips

Tuesday Bat & Ball 495 Cleveland St Redfern $15 Pie & Pint Night OR Happy Hour 3pm-6pm

Ms. G’s 155 Victoria Street Potts Point $7 cocktails 5pm7pm, $6 pancakes with four different flavours from 5pm

The Marlborough Hotel 145 King Street Newtown Tuesday Toppers chicken or veggie schnitzel with your choice of topper $15

Wednesday

Palace Hotel Cnr of George and Hay Streets $10 meal deals from 11am-9pm OR half rack of ribs and a schooner of James Squire Beer for $17.90 Tea Gardens Hotel 2-4 Bronte Rd Bondi Junction Members badge draw from 7.30pm plus interactive trivia with pub cash to be won from 7pm

Wynyard Hotel 107 Clarence Street Happy Hour 5-7pm $4 drinks

Thursday

Friday

The Office Hotel Cnr Kent and Erskine Streets $10 Meals & Poker from 7pm $12 Cocktails

The World Bar 24 Bayswater Rd Kings Cross MUM live music, party & DJ’s $15 Entry

The Spice Cellar Basement Level, 58 Elizabeth Street Live bands 7pm12am OR delicious cocktails from 4pmmidnight with 2-4-1 after work drinks from 5pm-7pm

P.J. O’Brien’s 57 King Street Live music from 8pm and $5 Rochdale ciders 7pm-10pm

Four Ate Five 485 Crown St Surry Hills Charming cafe with excellent food and service!

Cargo Bar 52-60 The Promenade King Street Wharf $5 drinks 5pm-7pm

Saturday Bungalow 8 3 Lime Street Ladies Luau with champers and share plates Scruffy Murphy’s 43-49 Goulburn Street Big Irish breakfast & drink $9.95

The Soda Factory 16 Wentworth Ave Surry Hills Soda Saturdays 5pm-5am. Guest musicians and DJ’s

Establishment 252 George Street $15 mains 12pm-3pm

Sunday The Forresters 336 Riley Street Surry Hills Hip-Hop playlist, $10 Bloody Mary’s and $10 Margaritas

Beresford 354 Bourke St Surry Hills Garden Party from 3pm OR Courtyard Sunday BBQ $25 per plate 12pm-4pm

Trinity Bar 505 Crown Street Surry Hills Live music from 3pm

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

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MELBOURNE

Halloween Events in Melbourne Cinema Nova

This year, Melbourne has some spooky treats in store for you at Halloween. Here’s our selection of the most unique ways to spend All Hallows Eve in the city.

Halloween at the Haunted House

Sometimes it’s difficult to find the balance between a good night out on Halloween and a seriously terrifying experience. For Halloween at the Haunted House, head down to the ghostly Wattle Park Chalet in Surrey Hills, built in the 1920s and renowned for its supernatural presence. You’ll find a bar and a free BBQ in the graveyard, but stay on guard, as there’s probably going to be roaming zombies ready to frighten the life out of you. If you turn up feeling underdressed, there will be free SPFX make-up and body art available. So, join DJ Nathan Op De Coul and Graveyard Rockstars for a night of pure terror.

Tickets cost $30; doors are open from 9pm and stay open late into the night. www.5dimensionevents.com

For something a little different this Halloween, head to Cinema Nova on Lygon Street to enjoy a double feature of cult classics. On Friday 25th October, you can scare yourself witless with these original horrors. At 9.45pm, brace yourself for ‘The Beyond’, an Italian horror movie from the 80s. With CGI taking over our modern screens, it’s always terrifyingly refreshing to see some gore in all its glory. If you’re in the mood for zombies, acid-induced face-melting and angry mobs, then this one’s for you. It will leave you questioning your sanity, then vacating the premises as a glorified member of the walking dead. At 11.30pm, the terror night is completed with ‘City of the Living Dead’, another Lucio Fulci creation. Beginning with a priest committing suicide and opening a big can of worms, this is bizarre, spooky and fantastically typical of a 80s horror movie. www.cinemanova.com.au

Lantern Ghost Tours

This Halloween, immerse yourself in one of the scariest locations your imagination can think of. Starting on Friday 25th October, spend the weekend incarcerated in the “J Ward” of a Lunatic Asylum with The Ultimate Ghost Hunting Weekend, which once housing the most mad and dangerous criminals in Australia. With this package, you will spend the night at one of Victoria’s most haunted locations, enjoying dinner on the Friday night, followed by a ghost tour and a paranormal investigation. The weekend costs $375pp, which is allinclusive. It’s also going to be filmed on TV, so wear your best frock. If you don’t think your heart can take a whole weekend, the Halloween tours will run every night from 31st October to 3rd November, leaving at 8.30pm and 10.30pm from Federation Square. These cost $25pp, or $65pp with a two-course dinner at Young & Jacksons haunted hotel before the tour. www.lanternghosttours.com

The Old Melbourne Gaol

There’s nothing scarier than an ancient haunted jail full of the ghosts of old criminals. So, for Halloween this year, head to The Old Melbourne Gaol, where convicts, the homeless and the mentally ill were housed during the 19th century. Bushranger Ned Kelly, was one of Australia’s most infamous criminals who was hanged at the gaol in 1880. His famous revolver lies on display, with a fascinating story to go with it. Unexplained voices around the gaol have attracted paranormal investigators from all over Australia. To get the most out of your experience, it’s definitely worth doing the night tour. The cost of an adult ticket is $38pp, where you go deep into the depths of the prison; you might even get the chance to experience something supernatural. www.oldmelbournegaol.com.au Rather than just getting dressed up for a night, why not celebrate Halloween throughout the day? With Release The Bats, you get an All-Day Halloween Extravaganza on Saturday 26th October, starting at midday and finishing at 1am, leaving plenty of time to celebrate the spookiest time of the year. Join 5000 revellers at The Westgate Entertainment Centre and Grand Star Receptions in Altona North, where you’ll find two stages, a cinema, an art exhibition and a food court. Pricasso is returning to the party to paint some special Halloween portraits, set to be one of the highlights of the event. The amazing acts on the day include The Breeders, Television, The Scientists, F*ck Buttons and Lightning Bolt. Tickets are priced at $150 plus booking fee, so get involved in this unique, crazy party. www.atpfestival.com

By Lucie Potter

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Images courtesy of Old Melbourne Ghost Tour & Cinema Nova

Release The Bats

E55 Basement 55 Elizabeth Street $4 pizza before 4pm and $7 after, all week, with DJs

The Moat 176 Little Lonsdale Street $20 pre show special for the Afternoon Offerings menu with house wine or a pint between 5pm and 6pm

29th Apartment 29 Fitzroy Street St Kilda $10 Main Meals 6-10pm

Tuesday Lucky Coq Cnr Chapel Street & High Street Comedy Night 9pm ‘Laugh Your Coq Off’

The Quiet Man Irish Pub 271 Racecourse Road, Flemington Buncranna’s Pork Bangers and Mash Irish pork sausages on Munster champ $15.90

Bimbo Deluxe 376 Brunswick St Fitzroy $4 pizza 12-4, 7-11

Wednesday The Local Taphouse 184 Carlisle Street St Kilda Live Music 9pm Free Entry, Whisky appreciation with food $45 every last Wednesday of the month

Ding Dong Level 1 18 Market Lane, Chinatown Mo’ Soul, is Melbourne’s newest soul night

Duke of Kent 293 La Trobe Street $10 lunch menu

Thursday Strike Bowling Level 3 Melbourne Central/211 La Trobe Street One game of bowling and one game of laser tag $25

Pugg Mahones 106 - 112 Hardware Lane Trivia from 6.30pm & win $75 bar tab OR Burger Thursday with chips $15

Loop Bar 23 Meyers Place Thirsty Thursdays with DJs and cocktail specials from 9pm. Live music from 11pm

Friday

Saturday

The Common Man 39 Dukes Walk South Wharf 5pm-7pm $6 pints & $10 cocktails

Turf Bar 131 Queen Street Weekend wings night - $14 for 12 wings, $8 for 6

Temperance Hotel 426 Chapel Street South Yarra Wicked commercial house and RnB beats from 9pm till late

The Precinct Hotel 60 Swan Street Richmond Mr Palmer, the city’s premier acoustic and vocal trio

Station 59 59 Church St Richmond After-work drinks (5-7pm) $3 pots $5 wine $5 spirits

The Workshop 1/413 Elizabeth Street $8 falafel wrap

Sunday The Dan O’Connell Hotel 225 Canning St Carlton Happy Hour from 2pm-5pm with $6 Carlton Draught or Brunswick Bitter Pints Live music from 4pm

The Carlton 193 Bourke Street $12 Organic Wagyu beef or mushroom cheese burger with fries & aioli 12pm-10pm Richmond Club Hotel 100 Swan Street Richmond All Day Sunday Roast $18.50

Father’s Office Speakeasy This month, head down to this gem of a bar. An incredible 1920s themed bar and restaurant, Father’s Office immediately transports you back to a time when girls donned flapper attire, guys dressed as in zoot suits and alcohol was prohibited in America.

The drinks are also evocative of the 1920s, with a large range of rum and whiskey and locally-sourced beer flowing from copper beer taps. Father’s Office also prides itself on its cocktails. Our favourite has to be the Sexy Cherry Soda Pop, which delivers a powerful punch of cherry goodness with a homemade vanilla ice cream float - definitely worth the $17.50 price tag.

The food is especially something to rave about as Father’s Office serves high quality American cuisine with premium meat cuts. From the bar you can feast on $6-$13 dishes such as the Black Angus Texan chilli nachos, cheesy bacon beer battered fries and Kansas City smoked BBQ wings as well as classic American favourites; hot dogs, cheeseburgers and corn on the cob.

If you fancy something with a bit more substance, the main menu has a lot more to offer. The Kansas City baby back ribs are to die for; the full rack of slow roasted Victorian baby back pork ribs will have you covered in their home made smoky BBQ sauce.

If you have a sweet tooth, you can’t miss the honey glazed doughnuts - cinnamon doughnut balls smothered in Australian wilderflower honey, dusted in icing sugar and served deliciously warm. Celebrating Oktoberfest?

Head down for $7 schooners of Hofbrau Original, Lowenbrau Original, Franziskaner Hefe-Weissbier Hell and 2 Bros Chief.

So, if you love your American grub, we highly recommend you get yourself down to the Father’s Office Speakeasy as soon as possible!

249 Little Lonsdale Street, Melbourne www.fathersoffice.com.au

By Nancy Sutcliffe

The promotions in the calendar are subject to change at any point without notice. Please check with the venue/business that offers are still valid

Monday

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MELBOURNE

Eat Your Way around The World Melbourne is a hub of culture, entertainment and first class dining, but you don’t need us to tell you that! Step right out of your front door and you can smell the sizzling steaks, spicy fajitas and mouth-watering curries. This is the food that brings everyone from all over the world together in one place. So, whether you’re dining alone during your lunch hour, with a special someone in the evening or getting a group of friends together, there are meals in Melbourne fit for a king – and his men.

True South, Argentina

The Argentineans take social eating to a whole new level. Influenced by the cuisine of Spain, Italy, Creole and North Africa, it takes the best of each to create an eating extravaganza. True South delivers exactly this in its menu of sharing dishes – even its nibbles section is extensive! Delve into rich cheeses and tasty offal for $12 per dish, or healthy salads, with additions of beetroot, mozzarella, chickpea puree and smoked maple syrup, between $9 and $15.

For something satisfying, you can’t go wrong with the Malbec Braised Lamb Shoulder with vegetables, coriander and peanuts.

298 Beach Road, Black Rock www.truesouth.com.au

Paladarr, Thai

Fiesta, Mexican

The guys at Fiesta have been providing margaritas, burritos and a lively atmosphere to the people of South Yarra since 1986. Evenings here are rich and hearty, with Macho Nachos and all the extras at $23.90, enchilada entrees from $9.90 and the classic fajita from $24.90. Get messy and have a feast with your buddies as you bite into chimichangas, burritos and quesadillas. There is an extensive drinks menu including local and Mexican beers, and six different flavoured margaritas, from strawberry to sambuca.

175 Toorak Road, South Yarra www.fiestamexican.com.au

La Paella, Moroccan

The smell outside La Paella, of the slow-cooked meats in an authentic tagine, will have you rushing inside. Beef is marinated in sweet cinnamon, a herb sauce, prunes and toasted almonds to delight your taste buds at just $19.90.

Other meaty offerings include $18 chicken paella, $23.90 lamb couscous and $19.90 ifran chicken, consisting of chicken, caramelised honey and ginger, pineapple, banana, almonds and mash potato! The setting’s not bad either, with deep reds, hanging lanterns and handmade Moroccan ceramics.

217 Sydney Road, Brunswick www.lapaella.com.au

Salona, Greek

A focus on sharing, Salona wants you to taste everything that Greece has to offer with your loved ones. The meze share plates are popular to gain a whole range of flavours, from $12 grilled kefalograviera (sheep’s milk cheese) to $13 lamb ribs marinated in ouzo and honey. This is reiterated in the banquet menu.

From $30-$55, four banquets are available and offer a range of dishes from dips with pita and loukanika to fried calamari and zucchini kefte. The bar screams the Grecian beachside with Turkish Delight Daiquiri and Greek Island Ice Tea. 268A Swan Street, Richmond www.salona.com.au

Sapore, Italian

Is there anything more yummy and satisfying than Italian food? Sapore is a modern bistro with beautiful surroundings, including the Catani Gardens and St Kilda Beach. You can expect traditional fare with a twist in the way of rabbit gnocchi, thyme-roasted chicken breast with porcini cream and pancetta crumb, and quail saltimbocca. With tall curved ceilings, hanging beads of light and great views of Melbourne to accompany your food, Sapore is one dining experience that will turn into a lifelong affair.

3-5 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda www.sapore.com.au

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Ever finished a Thai meal and wished you could create it yourself at home?

You can learn to do just that at Paladarr Fine Thai & Cooking School. In the restaurant, tuck into pork belly stir-fry for $15pp, chicken green curry for $15 or steamed or deep-fried fish of the day from $30. In the kitchen, weekday cooking classes take place between 9.45am and 1pm, while weekend classes start and finish an hour earlier. You will learn how to make Penang curry paste as the base for Kaeng Penang Moo and discover the secrets of Pad Thai Puk, Tom Yum Goong and Pla Goong with Paladarr’s head chef Chaloem.

7 Rowe Street, Alphington www.paladarr.com.au

TRAVEL

Spooky Australia

Do something different this Halloween and discover Australia’s strange hidden gems and spooky secrets. Venture out of your comfort zone and experience some of the weird and wonderful places that you wouldn’t normally dream of going to. We’ve put together some quirky getaways that will genuinely terrify you this October.

Get a load of these creepy Australian critters

Lake Ballard The salt lakes in Australia are some of the most remote tourist destinations in the country. Lake Ballard is no exception, but what stands out about this place is the sculptures that are dotted around the salt pans. There’s nothing freakier than walking around a remote salt lake and spotting an immobilised black figure in the distance.

The sculptural figures were designed by Antony Gormley and there are 51 of them dotted around the seven square kilometre surface.

Blobfish You wouldn’t want to find this guy swimming towards you on the beach! The blobfish is made primarily of gelatine, its density is slightly less than water, and it floats about the sea floor without using any energy to swim. A deep-sea fish that inhabits the waters off the mainland Australian and Tasmanian coasts, you probably wouldn’t come face-to-face with it during a quick dip, so if you want to catch a glimpse of this adorable ball of slime, deep-sea diving is the way to do it.

For somewhere that’s mysterious and remote, head to The Pinnacles Desert, where you are free to roam around and explore these outlandish natural stone pillars. Not only are they set in the middle of nowhere, but at night, they form freaky shapes that would be petrifying in the middle of the outback.

Monte Cristo

Wolfe Creek Crater

Monte Cristo has been given the title of Australia’s Most Haunted House, after a spate of ghost sightings and an eerie chill.

To put yourself in the midst of things, embark on a ghost tour, complete with bed, breakfast and dinner for $195 per person.

Make sure you don’t annoy the resident ghost, Mrs Crawley, as she has been known to order those she’s not fond of to leave her house!

When backpackers hear the words ‘Wolfe Creek’, they instantly think of the movie, where a group of travellers in a remote part of Australia are met by a crazy bushman who offers to fix their car, but ends up brutally murdering them. The actual Wolfe Creek is home to a huge, well-preserved meteorimpacted crater, based in Western Australia.

Coober Pedy Delve down into the depths of the sand in Cooper Pedy and you’ll find its 5000 inhabitants Uluru chilling in their underground homes. The Opal Capital of Uluru is one of the most famous landmarks in Australia, this may be the Australia and thousands of tourists flock there every year to catch a glimpse of the famous rock. weirdest town on Earth, attracting tourists from all However, many non-Aboriginal people have over the world because of its inexplicably fallen off the rock and been injured or killed, and this is said to be the revenge of the strange reputation. This needs Aboriginal spirits on the white people who broke to be seen to be appreciated, so why not spend the night the contract with Uluru. If you delve inside the underground at Desert Cave cave, you’ll find drawings on the walls that were Hotel and really experience life made thousands of years ago by indigenous down under? tribal people.

Bandicoot Australia’s version of the rabbit is the bandicoot, and if anyone could make rabbits un-cute, you can count on the Australians. Found in Eastern Australia, this pig/ratlike animal is an endangered species and lives in forests, woodlands and heath. While looking for food, it’s known to make snuffling sounds and as soon as it’s found some, makes a loud grunting noise like a piglet. If you see a rat the size of a rabbit, with a very long nose, you can be sure it’s a bandicoot.

Thorny Devil The Thorny Devil has a terrifying appearance to go with its name. While not deadly, it looks a bit like a scorpion, but is just a lizard with mighty thorns.

These guys are usually camouflaged, so you really have to keep your eyes peeled if you want to see them in all their glory. Also known as the mountain devil, they deter predators easily and are capable of downing 3000 ants in one go!

By Lucie Potter

The Pinnacles Desert

TRAVEL

THE LAND OF 8000 ISLANDS...

From the modest to the extravagant, the popular to the unknown, Australia is fringed by so many islands that you could find yourself in your own private utopia. Head off the mainland and venture into tropical rainforests, take part in adrenalin-fuelled activities and meet native species unique to each ocean-bordered paradise. With so many special islands scattered all around Australia, there’s so much to see, but if you’re limited on time, here’s the very best of which islands to pay a visit to...

Lord Howe Island, NSW

A crescent-shaped volcanic remnant island, Lord Howe lies 600km north-east of Sydney. This is one idyllic paradise that won’t be changed by tourism – only 400 visitors are allowed at any time, bicycles are the best mode of transport and there’s no mobile phone reception. But, you’ll probably be too distracted by the wonders on offer to even think about calling home.

Fifty scuba diving sites are dotted around the surrounding waters, featuring regular sightings of dolphins and turtles, of which the 551m Ball’s Pyramid is deemed the most adventurous. Divers that head to the world’s tallest sea stack, 26km south of the island, can expect to find the Ballina Angelfish, not usually spotted in depths less than 100m. Wherever you want to scuba dive around Lord Howe, Pro Dive will get you there. From night dives and glass-bottom kayaks to underwater digital camera hire, these guys have everything you need to create a magical underwater experience.

Every beach here has a unique selling point: Blinky Beach is popular with surfers due to its ‘champagne surf’; swimmers will be surrounded by fish looking to be hand-fed on Neds Beach, which opts to charge for masks, fins and snorkels via an honesty box; and snorkelers can explore the wreckage of the Favourite, found on the ocean floor of North Bay. If you head south inland, you will face the volcanic peak of Mount Gower, Lord Howe’s tallest mountain. The 875m climb up the mountain is aided by rope, but will still take eight hours and 14km of rugged terrain and steep drops. In the north, Malabar Hill plays home to the world’s largest nesting ground for RedTailed Tropic Birds.

The small popualtion of humans results in a rich marine life that is barely disturbed by the fishing charters that supply produce to the seafood restaurants, so you can be sure to enjoy locally-caught tuna or Kingfish any time of the day.

Rottnest Island, WA

Rottnest Island, or ‘Rotto’ to the locals, is only a 90-minute ferry ride from Perth, but you’ll feel like you’re a world away from the city once you get here. This island is full of colonial history, sailing opportunities and a breeding ground for the cute quokka, a marsupial resembling a small kangaroo. In spring you can spot the young joeys hopping about within the A-Class Nature Reserve.

A 90-minute tour around Rotto’s coastline with Rottnest Express is an easy way to see the island. Daily tours provide information on history, culture and landscape, and help you spot marine life from New Zealand Fur Seals to Humpback Whales.

Tours departing from Fremantle cost between $120 and $158, and from Perth between $140 and $178, depending on your lunch order.

Driving on this peaceful island is strictly a no-no, so cycling, walking or jumping on the bus are your key modes of transport. Cycle tracks range from four to 22 kilometres on the edge of the island, with great stop-off points to make the journey last an entire day. If you’re into surfing, grab a board and head onto bays Salmon, Strickland or Shark, or if you want to see what’s underwater, snorkel the shores of Parker Point or Parakeet Bay. If you like stunning 360-degree views after a bike ride, climb to the top of Wadjemup Lighthouse upon Wadjemup Hill and discover the goings-on within a working lighthouse.

The hub of restaurants, shops and human life is at Thomson Bay, as is the famous Bathurst Lighthouse. If you’re looking for a selection of seafood without breaking the bank, Aristos Waterfront is a café with a casual atmosphere, seafood platters and coastal views. Nearby walking tours are rich in history, with Lomas Cottage, Pilot Boathouse and Rottnest Island Museum situated along the way, featuring detailed accounts of sailors navigating around the dangerous reefs – many of whom failed, resulting in the shipwrecks you see today – and the island’s use as an open prison in 1839.

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Magnetic Island, Queensland

Whether you’re a party-loving sun-worshipper or keen to learn more about Australia’s furry creatures, get yourself to Magnetic Island pronto. Just twenty minutes from Townsville, the island lies within the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park and is formed of rocky terrain and giant boulders. With its warm climate all year round, it makes for a great escape any time!

If you’re looking for traveller-friendly accommodation, you can’t go wrong with Base Magentic Island - the only hostel on the beach and the prestigious winner of 2012’s Golden Backpacks Award! When day turns to evening, head to The Island Bar, where you will find DJ’s playing the best tunes on Fridays and Saturdays.

Above all, make sure you attend the coveted Full Moon Party. One occurs every month, including the Halloween Special on 25th October and the New Year’s Eve Event on 31st December. Previous acts include Benny Benassi, Martin Solveig and Hed Kandi. 3000 people covered in body paint and dancing to great music in a stunning location – what could be better?

If you’re a fan of the koala, you might prefer something like Bungalow Bay Koala Village. A unique resort with resident koalas - voted the best of its kind in the 2007 Australian Tourism Awards - you can hold a koala or even a crocodile. Book a room at the park and wake up to a champagne bush tucker breakfast with the koalas for company. Set amongst the outback, you will experience the flavours of Australia cooked over a coal fire.

Just a four-minute walk from the village lies the capital for water activities, Horseshoe Bay. Jet ski hire and kayaking are popular here, but what’s extraspecial is the Horseshoe Ranch Horse Riding tour. For $100 each, ride your horse through wild bushland and over creek crossings before you get to the beach, where you can swim through the sea on the back of your horse to cool down.

Two tours occur throughout the day from 9am and 3pm, each lasting roughly two hours.

When you’ve finished all your desired activities, there are great restaurants and bars to complete your day. Barefoot combines food, wine and art, showcasing the local talent on the beautiful Horseshoe Bay, while Restaurant Le Paradis presents al fresco French cuisine under the stars of Nelly Bay, with two courses for $57.90 or three for $65.90. There’s also Chinese, Mexican and Banisters Seafood, which serves up local produce from the ocean.

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TRAVEL Phillip Island, Victoria

Whether you want to witness some of the best animal activity in the country or are a keen sports fan, Phillip Island is a must-visit. Just a 90 minute drive from Melbourne, this island certainly makes use of its 100km² area. Thousands of tourists descend onto the island in peak season - a testament to its natural beauty and annual highlights considering its lack in mountainous adventure.

Surfing is pretty good year-round and you’re likely to find anyone from beginner to professional hitting the waves. Phillip Island National Surfing Reserves comprises of four breaks - Woolamai, Smiths, Summerland and Cat Bay - that are prime spots to take your board out. Smiths Beach is home to Island Surfboards, an award-winning school that can teach anyone to surf. A private lesson for one is $150, but a public group lesson is only $60 per person, so why not get to know fellow first-timers?

If you prefer sports, get down to one of the events Phillip Island has the honour of hosting.

This year, the Australian Superbike Championship will be held on the weekend of the 5th and 6th October, with the Australian Motorcycle Grand Prix two weeks later. On Thursday 24th, the Melbourne Cup Tour heads to the idyllic Cape Woolamai, followed by the Victorian State Circuit Racing Championship on Saturday 26th and Sunday 27th. Heading into November, the Australian Super Sprint takes place on Saturday 9th and Sunday 10th, before the new era of V8 Supercars attend the launch of Phillip Island 360 between 22nd and 24th.

If you’re one for doing rather than watching, experience the thrill of the Phillip Island Grand Prix Circuit for yourself. Champ Karts owns a 760m scale replica of the famous circuit right next to the real thing with great views of Bass Strait. Picture yourself as a racing driver as you go-kart your way around under the Australia sun. If you’re more after the real experience, book an adrenalin-pumping Hot Lap with an experienced driver, as they reach 100km/h in 3.8 seconds in the GT3 Porsche. After experiencing the extraordinary sound of the track up close, it will amaze you that on the other side of the island, all you can hear are the waves of the ocean.

Fraser Island, Queensland

A four-hour drive and ferry ride from Brisbane lies the largest sand island in the world. Stretching an impressive 184,000 hectares, Fraser Island is a precious ecosystem of pristine beaches, striking sand cliffs and dozens of perched and barrage lakes. All of this natural creation is surrounded by pines, ferns, eucalyptus, swamp vegetation and shrubs, to make up the only sand rainforest on Earth. Despite sand being infamous for lacking in nutrients, a thick, breathing rainforest flourishes here that every true traveller should clamber through. Head to the centre of the island and you will be greeted by trees 100 metres tall, as they compete to reach the sun from the dark forest floor.

As Fraser Island is completely made of sand, four-wheel drive is the only mode of transport. Shove all your gear in the back and journey down 75-Mile Beach, an actual highway running up the side of the island, providing outstanding views as ocean meets land. The only thing you will see on the highway other than 4WD’s are planes, so traffic should be minimal, making your journey 100% road-rage free! You will need a permit to access the island via vehicle but these can be acquired easily from River Head Barge, Kingfisher Bay Resort and at Queensland’s National Parks. If you want to let someone else do the driving, choose Fraser’s On Rainbow Beach. Every tour includes a drive along 75-Mile Beach, whether you want a day’s exploration with added BBQ from $175pp or an overnight stay at Eurong Beach Resort from $299pp.

If you’ve done any research whatsoever before the 20-hour flight to Australia, you’ll know that Fraser Island is extremely 18-35 friendly. Operators like Cool Dingo Tours have hit the jackpot with hassle-free trips dedicated to sun, fun and adventure – plus it’s a great way for you to meet like-minded travellers! Departing from Brisbane, Hervey Bay or Rainbow Beach, everything from accommodation and meals to travel and hot showers are covered in the cost, so all you need to worry about is what you’re drinking! You will get the chance to view the crystal waters of Lake McKenzie, the wondrous Wanggoolba Creek and the golden sand dunes that form the island. You can even add an extra night from $45 if you’re having too much fun!

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Words by Charlotte Mellor. Images courtesy of: Phillip Island - Island Surfboards, Magnetic Island - Horseshoe Bay Ranch, Lord Howe Island - Pro Dive

There is an abundance of wildlife on Phillip Island, from severely protected koalas to the largest colony of Australian fur seals in the country. Above all, make sure you catch the Little Penguins as they waddle their way up the shore’s sand dunes at dusk. This popular occurrence, known as Penguin Parade, sees the world’s smallest penguin return home from a day’s fishing. The largest viewing point is at Summerland Beach, while the most exclusive is from an elevated sky box for just five people per evening. The use of filming and photography is banned, but who wants to see these adorable birds through a camera lens anyway?

Destination...

Margaret River This month we take a look at Margaret River as a beautiful destination to plan on visiting during the spring and summer months. Within easy reach of Perth, we take you through the must sees as you venture down south.

A relatively small town nearly 300 km south of Perth (in the local government zone of the Shire of Augusta-Margaret River), Margaret River nonetheless packs a formidable punch for its size. Perhaps not as well known as the Adelaide Hills or Hunter Valley, it is a wine-growing region of some pedigree and is full of boutique vineyards producing small quantity, but high quality. In terms of national production, Margaret River only produces three per cent of all wine grown in Australia, but accounts for 20 per cent of sales of Australian premium wine. They produce a little of everything, from big red Shiraz to crisp clean Chenin Blancs.

Margaret River is around a three-four hour drive from Perth, or if you’re without a set of wheels, a coach departs daily from Perth, which will also suit those travelling on a budget. During the drive down to Margaret River, it’s worth having a pit stop in Busselton. Here you’ll find the Busselton Jetty, which extends out over the protected waters of Geographe Bay for a whopping 1.8 km. You can take a train out 1.7 km of the way and visit the Underwater Observatory. Here you’ll make your way eight metres down to the ocean floor where you’ll see the stunning and vividly coloured corals, tropical fish, sponges and many more wonderful creatures. There’s also a kick-ass burger joint in front of the jetty with burgers as big as your face if you’re feeling a tad peckish as you make your way down south.

Another thing worth remembering if you’re travelling to Margaret River between now and December is that it is the prime time for whale watching. Don a pair of binoculars and you’ll most likely spot some in Geographe Bay - even Blue Whales have been spotted here. Another great place to whale watch in the Margaret River area is Cape Leeuwin Lighthouse, located in Augusta. Here you’ll see whales between May and September. Situated 50 km south of Margaret River, the best, well, most beautiful, way to get there is via Caves Road, which will take you through the stunning Boranup Forest.

Whilst visiting Margaret River you should be aware that although famed for its vineyards, the area also boasts an excellent collection of caves complete with fossils, and an impressive selection of stalagmites and stalactites (stalagmites come from the floor, stalactites from the ceiling). The most famous of these is Mammoth Cave, which can be explored by simply wandering around with an audio description, while some of the others require a little more forward planning.

And, with the ocean so close, there is of course, the surf. Surfers Point offers excellent breakers and is close to the mouth of the river, which gives the town its name. If you’re travelling to Margaret River during the spring and summer you may want to camp in the picturesque Prevelly. With acres of petrified forests (due to a major bush fire) bordering the beaches, you’ll feel a million miles away as you camp near to the ocean. The surf here is amazing, but if you’re up for something a little calmer then paddle boarding and kayaking are also popular activities in this area.

Margaret River town offers plenty of shops for you to stock up on goods before you go camping, and you can even check out some of the bars, if you’re not feeling totally Bear Grylls.

When in Margaret River, rather than torture yourself with driving from vineyard to vineyard having to spit out everything you taste, why not book on one of the many wine tours available. There are tons of companies out there, so you can feel free to pick and choose at leisure from group tours, to individual tours, and even tailoring your own tours to exactly how you want to experience the wines of Margaret River.

There is an abundance of activity in this region of Western Australia; you can enjoy everything from rock climbing, to experiencing the nature parks, visiting the breweries and wineries, and indulging in water sports that makes Margaret River an excellent travel destination for people of all ages. Its relaxed atmosphere and stunning scenery will utterly consume you and make memories that will last a life time – not to mention you’ll be able to create a Facebook album that’ll soon make your friends back home sick with jealousy.

Great wine, great surf. Need we say more?

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TRAVEL

Volunteer Abroad Bored of living in a hostel or house share and working 9-5 in a cramped office? Rediscover your adventurous side by volunteering! Taking you all over the world and helping local communities, we’re here to show you why this is the most fulfilling and inspiring way to travel...

Travellers WorldWide (www.travellersworldwide.com) offers a huge amount of experiences that stretch over a range of different projects and conservations.

There are placements that will put you with orphaned elephants, orangutans, lions, rhinos and cheetahs in exotic locations such as Argentina, Brazil, Cambodia, India, Kenya and many more. You will come face-to-face with this amazing wildlife, live on game reserves and track, monitor and research what they get up to when they think you’re not watching! Marine conservation placements in Australia, Mauritius and South Africa will see you spend most of your time out at sea, protected by a cage as you witness the power of the great white shark, or catching sightings of dolphins and seals. In turn, you’ll learn about feeding, observation, education, rescues and release alongside local workers.

These experiences would be hands-on and interactive as many places would also need English-speaking guides for tourists coming to view the parks and animals. Travellers Worldwide also run language courses where you can learn to speak the native language of countries like Argentina, Ecuador and China.

With a focus on getting a project that suits you, you’ll be sure to get the most out of your time, money and experience.

There are many things that inspire people to go travelling. You could be sick of your job and need a well-deserved break; you could be unemployed and wanting to get away from the tired subject of recession; you could be fresh out of full time education and needing a deviation from reality.

Whatever your reason for getting away, don’t forget there’s more to be explored in the big wide world than just well-beaten tracks of boozing and snoozing in the sun. Volunteering and teaching English abroad are some great productive ways of spending your year out. Not only will it aid charities and organizations that are in need, it will provide you with some real life experiences and skills.

And with statistics seeing a drop in traditional travelling correlating with the rise in volunteers, it seems that many have cottoned onto the fact that seeing the world whilst doing charity work is feasible.

It might be scary taking a massive step away from the life that you know and are comfortable with, but why not set yourself a challenge that will truly test what you’re made of? Why not travel with a goal, an aim, a focus to help those in need while also seeing the world?

There are so many options of experiences available these days that the possibilities may seem endless! One country that provides a vast amount of these is Thailand. This country is incredibly beautiful with varying landscapes that open up all sorts of charity work - not to mention amazing food, deep history, friendly locals (it’s nicknamed ‘the land of smiles’) and its incredibly easy and friendly travel nature. The country is easy to traverse so wherever you end up doing your work, you can get out and about with minimal fuss and see more of the country.

The type of volunteer work available is diverse and exciting, whether you want to rescue, feed and bathe sick and orphaned elephants at the Elephant Nature Park in the northern province of Chiang Mai or participate in the restoration of forests with The Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand. It’s certainly not your usual office job; it’s an incredible life opportunity.

Organisations such as Volunteer Thailand (www.volunteerthailand.org) offer a diverse range of volunteer projects that focuses on going beyond the routine holiday and travelling with a difference. You can help them build homes for single mothers in crisis, work with children afflicted with HIV, help in orphanages, tend to elephant camps or lend a hand at private hospitals. There are short and long term placements available throughout Thailand with projects that are organized and ongoing. Their Thai staff are experts in their field and are devoted in helping you help others; a sure fire way of making your experience a positive one!

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If you want to be absolutely overwhelmed with all the placements that are available around the world, then check out Worldwide Volunteering (www.wwv.org.uk), as their database is crammed with 1,600 organisations and 1.6 million placements in 214 countries.

Working with charities and volunteer programs abroad will give you so much more than just karma brownie points; it will allow you to understand different cultures and really get to grips with them, rather than traipsing the usual travelling tracks, and have the opportunity to settle in an area and relate indepth to the community around you. An alternative side to the country will be revealed allowing you to see further than the neon-lit, beer-swigging, bucketchugging lad banter that populates some tourist areas.

Get a greater understanding of the lives of the locals and immerse yourself in a world without your western creature comforts. It’ll make you appreciate what you have and the fact that you are capable (and in the position) to help others and improve the well-being of the country. Without volunteers and gap year workers, many of the conservations and schools would suffer a decline in support, so why not do your bit and help out on your year off?

Words by Sophie Saint. Images courtesy of Changing Worlds and Oyster Worldwide

TRAVEL ESSENTIALS Each month we bring you the best in travel essentials that we’ve tried and tested. From gadgets to cosmetics, here’s the best products that we’ve found this month!

Piz Buin’s Wet Skin Sun Protection Spray

New Transparent Sun Spray offers instant protection from the sun that can be used on wet or dry skin. This means there’s no need to towel yourself dry after you’ve got out of the sea or the pool before reapplying!

Choose either SPF 15 or SPF 30 and get spraying! $32.45 available from www.mayfairexport.com

LifeProof iPhone and iPad Cases and Accessories

Keep your iPhone or iPad 100% protected on your travels with the LifeProof cases and accessories.

Whether you’re sailing on a boat in the middle of the ocean, backpacking across W.A or going to party at one of the great city clubs, you can ensure your beloved mobile or tablet stays clean, dry and unscratched!

The LifeProof iPhone and iPad cases are waterproof, dirt proof, snow proof and shock proof, so if you happen to drop your phone, no harm will come to it whatsoever! The case completely seals your device and is protected in water - great if you fancy getting snap-happy while snorkeling. iPhone 4S case ($86.53), LifeJacket ($43.26), Armband ($54.08) and Bike & Bar Mount ($43.26) available from www.lifeproof.com

MUVI X-Lapse

Capture 360˚ sweeping time lapse films and amazing wide angle panoramic images with the X-Lapse. Standard ¼ - 20 UNC tripod screw threads can mount your camera onto the X-Lapse and mount the X-Lapse onto a camera tripod. It can even use your phone with the detachable phone holder. $34.07 available from www.red5.co.uk

Klorane Gentle Dry Shampoo

Made with oat milk, this absolute Godsend has a light texture without that horrible powdered look, and a mild, pleasant fragrance that doesn’t overwhelm.

Trustworthy and one you can depend on in a rush, Klorane is the go-to for gentle, volumising and effective dry shampooing. $8.83 for 150ml available from www.lifeandlooks.com

SleepPhones Wireless

If you’re one of those people that needs music to fall asleep, have we got the creation for you! SleepPhones Wireless comes in the form of a headband, with headphones hidden between the soft lining so it wraps around your bonce without any lumps or bumps sticking in your ears!

The most comfortable headphones in the world, the headband connects via Bluetooth to your computer or smartphone so there are no wires to work around. It features volume control, play/pause options and a battery life of up to seven hours when fully charged. So, whether you fall asleep to alternative Rock or Beethoven, listen to it through the SleepPhone Wireless. $107.12 available from www.sleepphones.com

Photobox Personalised iPad Keyboard Case

If you’re a long way from home and missing family, the iPad Keyboard Case from Photobox is a great way to get in touch with your loved ones and see all your memories simultaneously.

This keyboard makes it super easy to write emails and search the web when you’re having some down time, but it also protects your iPad when you’ve finished with it by attaching magnetically to the device, and acts as a stand when your hand gets tired! Connect it wirelessly via Bluetooth and type away for up to 100 hours on a single charge.

The best thing about Photobox is that you can personalize all your products! With a choice of three layouts, you can add up to 20 images to your iPad case and one of 14 background colours. So, whether you want memories of wild nights with your friends or family get-togethers, you can see everyone you’re missing right on the front of your iPad!Not got an iPad? You can personalise your iPhone or Samsung Galaxy as well!

Phone case from $32.95 and keyboard case from $99.99 available from www.photobox.com.au

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GLOBAL WATCH

Berlin This month we hear from Bondi Beach Radio’s Katie Mayors about her recent trip to Berlin...

If a hipster’s main intent is to be effortlessly and outrageously cool, then Berlin may very well be the ultimate hipster city. But beneath the beards, beats and bikes lies a city still becoming itself in the shadow of the atrocities that mark its very recent past.

The challenge with a short trip to Berlin is in choosing which of the array of eclectic neighbourhoods to visit, but thanks to an accessible public transport system and friendly locals, you can get around easily and cover plenty of ground in a couple of days. What can be assured is that this vibrant city will get under your skin even after a short visit which may or may not be in the form of an ink tattoo.

First… Understand The Past

Few moments in history had the worldwide impact like the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. And while much of the turbulent history of Germany has been taught in classrooms across the world, wandering the landmarks where so much of the power and devastation played out is essential for any trip to Berlin.

New Europe run free city walking tours (though a tip is expected, so don’t leave the wallet at home), which meet under the red umbrella at Brandenburg Gate at 11am and 2pm every day. The two-and-ahalf-hour tour takes in sites such as the fascinating concrete structures of the Holocaust Memorial (officially named the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe), the unmarked car park under which lies Hitler’s Bunker, Checkpoint Charlie and the Berlin Wall, and the Empty Library in Bebelplatz, an underground memorial that marks the spot where 20,000 books considered subversive texts were burnt by the Nazi German Student League in 1933.

While a history such as theirs must be endlessly uncomfortable for Germans to address, the sites in Berlin reveal respectful care and responsibility has been taken to commemorate and ensure the mistakes of the past are not forgotten. Other popular tours include the Sachsenhausen concentration camp just outside the city, an alternative tour taking in the street art of East Berlin and a tour that focuses specifically on the history of the Third Reich.

Fast Food, Street Food, Meat Food

While these days in Berlin you can find a variety of international food options (for example the new local favourite Street Food Thursday), the staple of the German diet is undeniably meat, meat and more meat. The fast food of choice is Currywurst (sliced sausage covered in spicy tomato sauce and curry powder), which is available on every street corner, sold from street carts and food stalls.

There’s no need to feel like you’re missing out if you are vegetarian though, as Kopps in Scheunenviertel serves up a surprisingly tasty vegan currywurst, as well as other animal-friendly versions of German stodge such as gulasch and ‘veal’ sausages.

Further excellent vegetarian dining options include the trendy Cookies (which gets you entry into the adjoined club Cream) in Mitte, the pay-whatyou-think-it’s-worth banquet (including wine!) at Weinerei Forum (though occasionally carnivores get a dish or two here as well) and Lucky Leek, both in Prenzlauer Berg.

Frühstück (breakfast) usually consists of breads with cheese and spreads, egg and sliced meats, but Berlin presents a growing variety of options, with one of the hottest spots in town being an Australianowned café Melbourne Canteen, if poached eggs on sourdough or corn fritters with bacon and avocado is more your thing.

Getting Around Town

An efficient public transport network, coupled with the fact most Germans speak English, makes for easy travel around the city. For most trips around town you will use the trains U-Bahn (underground subway) and S-Bahn (light rail), and a ticket will cost around €2.60 and remains valid for 2 hours.

But why not make like a Berliner and hire a bike?

There are rental stations all across town, and most hostels will hire out their own for around €12 per day.

There are tons of places to stay around Berlin, but for clean, reasonably priced and centrally located rooms, try Meininger Hotels, located in Mitte, Prenzlauer Berg, Central Station and near Schönefeld Airport, where dorms will cost from €17 per night.

From Ping Pong To Street Art

In how many cities can you play ping pong in public parks, experience the wonder that is Bearpit Karaoke (at Mauerpark’s amphitheatre on Sundays from April to September), or dance the night away in a 1913 ballroom (Clärchens)? Berlin is a mecca for creatives, and as such offers a seemingly endless array of inventive attractions. The city is teeming with galleries, both inside and out, the most famous of which (and apparently soon to be demolished) is the Eastside Gallery, painted on a stretch of the Berlin wall in Friedrichshain. Recently one side of the wall has also been home to an exhibition of other dividing walls around the world.

Friedrichshain is also where you can explore some of Berlin’s best street art, as well as shop in some

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of the coolest indie boutiques, especially around Boxhagener Platz. For more great street art, head to the graffiti-covered building complex of Haus Schwarzenberg off Rosantaheler Strasse (right near Hackescher Markt S-Bahn), which also houses an insightful Anne Frank Zentrum. When your camera can no longer fit any more colourful street stencil shots from the alleyway, be sure to pull up a bench seat to enjoy a pint of Berliner Pilsner on tap.

By Katie Mayors, host of the weekly travel radio show ‘Wanderlust’ on Bondi Beach Radio.

Construction of the Berlin Wall began on 13th August 1961 as a way of separating the three zones controlled

by France, Britain and America from the zone controlled by the Soviet Union

The Berlin Wall was knocked down on 9th November 1989

The German word for bagpipes is Dudelsack

Berlin spans over 892 km² and is made up of 12 different boroughs

The tallest building in Berlin is the TV-Tower (fernsehturm) standing at 368 meters and can be found in Alexanderplatz

There are three airports in Berlin; Airport Berlin Tegel TXL, SchĂśnefeld Airport Berlin and Airport Berlin Brandenburg Willy Brandt BER

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GLOBAL WATCH

The World Market Place Markets have been the centre of communities for centuries. Steeped in history, and bustling with activity, they make for the perfect expedition when travelling. We’ve scoured the globe to seek out the best markets on every continent. From fantastic food markets, to leafing through the finest silks, here’s some of the most stunning market places the world has to offer...

Pike Place Market - Seattle, USA Created more than a century ago to bring workers and citizens of Seattle together, Pike Place Market has grown into a diverse and neighbourly food market through the years. If it’s crafts you’re after, Pike Place features an array of locally sourced hand made goods at their craft market.

Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen Paris, France Made up of a mass of intertwined little streets, Marche aux Puces de Saint-Ouen is a go-to market for vintage lovers and antique collectors. With over 100 years of history behind it, this market is alive with character and amazing finds.

Chandni Chowk - Delhi, India

Chatuchak Market – Bangkok, Thailand

This street market is bustling with places to shop, eat, browse and soak up some exceptional culture. With a variety of products on offer, from clothing to food and jewellery, it’s worth taking your time so you can bask in the busy New Delhi lifestyle.

This weekend market is one of the world’s largest, covering over 27 acres and housing more than 15,000 stalls. For the 200,000 people visiting they can deliberate over buying goods including silk, wooden furniture and local souvenirs from all areas of Thailand.

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Souks Of Marrakech Marrakech, Morocco Famed as one of the most exotic places to visit in the world, Souks of Marrakech is an exuberant place to step foot in with hundreds of selling booths available to browse and buy from.

Haggling is welcome and there are plenty of clothes and crafts to get a bargain on.

Grand Bazaar - Istanbul, Turkey This labyrinth-like market located in Turkey’s capital city boasts an array of stalls, some hidden and some extravagantly exposed. Bargaining is a must so be wise with your spending to get the best possible outcome. The large scope of the market means visitors must take their time if they want to see everything properly.

Queen Victoria Market - Melbourne, Australia Affectionately known as either Queen Vic or Vic Market to the locals, Queen Victoria Market is thought of as the heart and soul of Australia’s art capital, Melbourne. It’s a vibrant place to shop for your daily needs, fresh fruit and vegetables, as well as unique clothing items.

Portobello Road Market - London, UK London’s historic street market, Portobello Market is the go-to destination for savvy shoppers and lovers of market culture.

Trendy Londoner’s make an appearance each week, hoping to find a bargain or pick-up something completely unique. Clothes, shoes antiques and food are all on offer throughout this two-mile stretch of street market.

By Bryony Curtis

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WHAT’S TRENDING

Streetwear Get yourselves from the beach, to the bar! Here’s some of the best streetwear around that can either be dressed up or down! For the boys - cool and effortless items with a casual emphasis. For the girls - who better to channel than the queen of street, RiRi, with her collection for River Island?

For Him...

1. Denim Tie Dye Effect Beanie $29.93 available from www.topman.com 2. House Of The Gods Gorillaz Vest $51.27 available from www.topman.com 3. Jersey Shorts $30.76 available rom www.topman.com 4. Knights Never Die T-Shirt $39.95 available from www.myer.com.au 5. Autonomy Rebel Tank $65 available from www.myer.com.au 6. Skinny Jeans $45.30 available from www.asos.com 7. T-shirt With Roman Numeral Print $21.75 available from www.asos.com 8. Navy Hoodie $34.18 available from www.burton.co.uk 9. Quiksilver Flip-Flops $39.99 available from www.citybeach.com.au 10. Mid Brown Skinny Chinos $41.10 available from www.topman.com 11. Trent Nathan Boat Shoe $129.95 available from www.myer.com.au 12. Converse Playmaker Gymsack Camo $18.80 available from www.surfdome.com 13. Hype Black Wayfarer Sunglasses $22.27 available from www.topman.com 14. Cap $29.14 available from www.riverisland.com 15. Gunmetal Contemporary Aviator Sunglasses $34.30 available from www.sunglassjunkie.com

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Show your love for The Gorillaz in this standout vest.

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Jersey shorts are comfortable, on-trend and great for relaxing with friends.

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Nautical stripes and boat shoes are perfect beach-to-bar streetwear.

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For Her...

Dare to bare your legs under this oversize t-shirt.

These hotpants are all the rage with a split jersey/denim design.

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1. Bueller Shades $22.23 available from www.nastygal.com 2. Converse All Star Hi Shoes in Maroon $77.11 available from www.surfdome.com 3. Converse All Star Double Tongue Shoes in Purple Cactus Flower $80.53 available from www.surfdome.com 4. Converse Playmaker Gymsack Stamped Stars $18.80 available from www.surfdome.com 5. Crop Top with Rated-X Applique $66 available from www.asos.com 6. Leather Cap $59 available from www.thisisfirstbase.com 7. Tank Top $64 available from www.thisisfirstbase.com 8. Gamma Ray backpack $108.94 available from www.nastygal.com 9. High Waisted Hotpants with Jersey Panel Detail $54 available from www.asos.com 10. Blazing Bloom Sneakers $86.71 available from www.nastygal.com 11. Hiya Platform Sneaker $39.13 available from www.nastygal.com 12. Oversize T-Shirt $25.63 available from www.riverisland.com 13. Rihanna for River Island Crop Jumper $59.81 available from www.riverisland.com 14. Rihanna for River Island Leather Mesh Shorts $205.08 available from www.riverisland.com 15.Rihanna for River Island Print Leggings $42.72 from www.riverisland.com 16. Rihanna for River Island Camo Mesh Crop $42.78 available from www.riverisland.com 17. Batman Snapback $25.73 available from www.bankfashion.co.uk

Pink platforms and floral prints have been made uber-cool this season.

Rihanna’s collection for River Island is all about streetwear – rock every piece this spring.

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Don’t forget your lucky Converse!

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INTERVIEWS

Digitalism Digitalism. What can we say?

They’re awesome. We catch up with the all-genre encompassing duo to find out more about their latest release ‘Lift’ and when we’ll next be seeing them in Australia.

Hi Jens, Ismail, how are you?

Good thanks!

Where are you in the world right now?

We just got back to Europe yesterday after a few weeks of touring in the US and Canada. We’re almost Parisbound now, where we’re gonna play this Saturday.

So you released ‘Lift’ with Kitsune, what do you like about this label, and why did you decide to return to them for this release?

We have a lot of history with Kitsuné.

They were the first label to pick us up back then, almost ten years ago now, and they released our first 12”s. We’ve been working together even before we released our first album, so it’s always been a bit of a family-atmosphere with them. We were free to decide who we’d release ‘Lift’ with, and since we just introduced new artwork and concept, it was a very logical step for us to do it with Kitsuné. This is quite an important release for us, and we wanted to make a statement with this.

If you have a strong artistic vision and pair your music with a lot of other artistic fields, then there is probably no one better out there than Kitsuné.

It feels good to be back with them for this.

How’s your summer been? What was a highlight for you?

It was great! We did a lot of gigs both in Europe and North America. The best thing about it must have been our stripped-down live US tour in May. We played small, intimate venues and only brought very little production so we could travel without a tour bus this time, as an experiment. It turned out really well - at the end we found out that, even in the electronic music world, you can still rock a show without a truck full of pyro effects and all that. Even the little things we brought along died after one or two plane rides, we were left with literally nothing. But it was great.

You guys are from Hamburg, I absolutely love it there, especially all the awesome street art, what three things would you tell our readers to do whilst visiting the city?

First of all, come in late May, beginning of June. It’s the best time. Sun sets really late, and the weather is usually good, so you want to hang out outside around the central lake and have a BBQ. You’ll also want to see the famous Reeperbahn, the main red light district road; like a mini-Vegas, where everyone ends up at some point. Even the Beatles started out there. And you shouldn’t miss a peak at the harbour, maybe after partying, at the fish market. There’s a lot of things to do and discover; this would only be a start.

“when it comes to making music, we’re a very good team, where each one of us has his position and role, and we work pretty complementary.

It’s like Yin and Yang.”

The ‘Idealism’ album was so huge... I still listen to it now, what do you think it was that made this album so successful? I would go as far as to say it was one of the musical lynchpins of 2007.

Wow, thank you. Well it is probably its raw energy for one, and the fact that it sounded very unique in its context, compared to anything else that was out there.

We started making music because we couldn’t find the tracks that we really wanted to play as DJs, so we made it ourselves. What you could hear on ‘Idealism’ was exactly what we wanted to play in our sets. It wasn’t anywhere out there, you could only find it on ‘Idealism’.

Thirdly, our music has always been very riff-driven and emotional, and somehow song-based, which probably made it easy to cross-over.

My favourite track of yours is ‘Pogo’, how do you feel about this track, and what was the influence behind the track?

We had an instrumental version in a drawer for a long time already until we decided to make it a full song and add it to the album. It used to be something deep and housey in the beginning. By the time we started writing on it, we’d been touring around the globe heavily already. The song is about that excitement you get thinking about someone, but at the same time

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that person is somewhere far away, which makes it romantic and sad at the same time.

What’s your favourite club in Hamburg?

We really like ‘Ego’ (at Talstrasse, St. Pauli), it’s run by the DIY guys. It’s quite a safe bet to go, whatever date it is.

They have good bookings and the vibe is just right. But usually we don’t go out in our hometown so much… We do it all the time on tour! So when we’re home, we usually take it easy.

Live a 26th t Chine se L Octo aun ber alon dry gsid e...

You’ll be playing at the Chinese Laundry Halloween Garden Party in October alongside Booka Shade, what can Sydney expect from your set?

New music!

Are you looking forward to seeing Booka Shade? Do you guys know each other, what’s your relationship like?

Of course we know each other, although only a little bit.

The last time we played the same stage was in Scotland at T-In-The-Park (or I Love Techno in Belgium?) a few years ago. It’ll be good to see the guys again. We have some of their records on 12”.

Being a duo, are there ever any conflicts between you when you’re creating music?

Of course we have our arguments sometimes - which is something you can’t avoid if you see each other almost every day for ten years! But when it comes to making music, we’re a very good team, where each one of us has his position and role, and we work pretty complementary.

It’s like Yin and Yang.

Do you guys have any studio rituals, or anything you have to have when you’re in the studio? (a constant stream of tea, a studio mascot, cigarettes etc) Who is on repeat on your iPod at the moment (old Not really. We did the first album almost entirely at night, the second one during the day, and since then we’re not or new, doesn’t matter) sure what we prefer. At the moment we go to a lot of New Arcade Fire, some Queens Of The Stone Age, our different studios around the world while we’re on tour, so own new ideas, Jackson and His Computer Band. it’s not easy to establish any rituals or routine. But a good coffee is always great, for sure.

You guys have been going for a fair few years now, how do you feel Digitalism has changed since its What’s the coolest festival you’ve ever played at? inception?

Last year we played at Paradiso Festival in the state of You know, that’s a tough one. We know we have Washington (US), which is located at the rim of a massive changed a bit as in being grown-up a bit more now. canyon in the middle of the prairie. It’s so breath-taking When we started, we were only 20-ish. We’ve learned that we considered staying another week there after a lot over the years, and you can probably hear that we were finished. Couldn’t do it though because of our in our music and see it on stage, too. But it’s funny, schedule, went back to Seattle instead and took some because on the other hand we’ve not really changed pictures of where they shot Twin Peaks. one bit. There’s the signature ‘Digitalism sound’, which carries through all of our music up to now, and we’ve always tried to stay out of any cliques or trends, which What have you got lined up for the rest of 2013? is why - again - we might be new to a lot of people, The rest of the year for us is about DJing - we’ll come because there’s a lot of new fans of Electronic music to Japan and Australia for a little tour and then play out there, and they simply started following the whole in Europe pretty much until Christmas. ‘Lift’ is being thing after we released our last albums. So, even released, like, now on Kitsuné, and we already have big though we’ve been around for ages now, we are at the things in the pipeline. We don’t want to talk too much same starting point again, which is really cool. about it though - you guys should enjoy ‘Lift’ for now!

Booka Shade Ahead of their Australian tour dates, we speak to the legendary German duo Booka Shade to find out more about their upcoming album release‘EVE’.

So you’ve got N.A.M.E festival in France coming up soon. What’s it like over there? Would you recommend N.A.M.E to our readers?

Arno: The city of Lille, where N.A.M.E. takes place, is in the north of France, in the very industrial coal mining area. It´ll be the fifth time or so we’re there, third time [at] N.A.M.E. I always find the area quite rough, but the crowds are extremely enthusiastic. The festival always has interesting line ups, so forget romantic Paris or sunny St. Tropez: check out Lille!

We’re looking forward to catching you at Fat As Butter Festival in Oz. How do you find it playing in Australia?

Arno: We love Australia. It’s always so much fun to play, the crowds are so incredibly enthusiastic, it’s frightening.

Doing the rounds in October, will you get any time to do any site seeing whilst you’re over there? If so what or where would you most like to go, or what would you like to do?

Arno: This time it’ll be in and out. “See Australia in four days”. Actually we do have an extra day, but it’ll be an interview day in Melbourne. Last time we came though, I took some time off with my family and flew up to Cairns and went diving at the Great Barrier Reef.

Even went all the way up to Cooktown, Mission Beach, Whitsundays – I’ve seen a bit. On a previous tour we drove the Great Ocean Road, but there’s still so much more to see.

That there is! So the new Album ‘EVE’ is out. What are you hoping to achieve with this release?

Walter: The first single ‘Love Inc’ will be released in October. It’s been 3 and-a-half years since the last album. We’re very excited and nervous. It wasn’t an easy album for us to make. Almost killed us, but we’re very proud that we went through it and survived, got stronger as a band, and have written an extremely good album. The music is what will last. Who cares about the fights and the nervous breakdowns we had in the studio…

have the studio with us. But in order to try something different, for ‘EVE’, we went to a residential recording studio close to Manchester in England called Eve Studios, and recorded loads of vintage, mostly analogue, equipment: synths, reverbs, and also recorded a lot of live instruments, such as acoustic drums and percussion. It was the best time we had in the studio in years, that’s why we decided to call the album ‘EVE’.

What did you want to put across with the album?

Arno: It is our fifth album, and we didn´t want to repeat ourselves. Most of our songs are instrumental, so we had to look for new interesting sounds that feel like Booka Shade, but go a new way. We have a couple of guests on the album: Fritz Kalkbrenner sings on ‘Crossing Borders’, and Fritz Helder from Azari & III contributed some vocals on ‘Love Drug’. The trombone on ‘Crossing Borders’ is played by Andy Cato from Groove Armada.

You’re playing at the Halloween Garden Party at Chinese Laundry, what can we expect from your set there?

Arno: for the DJ sets, we like to leave it open until the last minute to see how the vibe is, but you can be sure that we have many of our own tunes with us.

“ It Almost killed us, but we’re very proud that we went through it and survived, got stronger as a band...”

I asked a friend who loves your music what he would most like to ask you, apart from to have a signed vinyl, he also said he’d like to know what the inspiration was behind ‘In White Rooms’ as it’s his favourite track of yours ever!

Arno: Thank you very much. Both ‘Mandarine Girl’ and ‘In White Rooms’ were influenced by the feeling we had when we first experienced Techno and House in the early 90s, this emotional euphoric feeling. The title ‘In White Rooms’ came when we played a show in Stockholm, Sweden, where the whole hotel we stayed in was white.

When creating music do you favour to use analogue or digital equipment?

Walter: Out of practicability, we work with laptops a lot, mostly because we travel so much and we always

Who are you playing on your iPod at the moment?

Arno: the new Arcade Fire single, the new Arctic Monkeys album. And arrangements of our Live show.

Where’s your favourite place you’ve ever played, perhaps the most memorable performance?

Walter: Red Rocks, in the Rocky Mountains outside of Denver, CO, must be in the Top 5. Pukkelpop of Werchter in Belgium [too].

And those shows at the Prince Of Wales in Melbourne are still very high up in the ranking as well. Let’s see how it goes when we do the DJ set there this time.

Residing in Berlin, if someone was visiting for just a weekend, what are the 3 most important things they should do whilst in town?

Arno: One: visit the remains of The Wall which divided the city and the country and realize that mankind must be crazy. Two: go to one of the fabulous clubs, such as Watergate. Three: realize once more that mankind is crazy and go home.

By Hannah Shakir

Hi Arno & Walter, how and where are you today?

Walter: Hello Australia! We’re at home in Berlin and in the middle of rehearsals for a new tour which will start in Europe in November. We’re confident we’ll bring the show to Australia next year. In the meantime, we’ll come to Oz in October for a couple of DJ shows to announce our new album called ‘EVE’.

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INTERVIEWS Have you maintained the same sound from your previous releases on your new album ‘We Need Medicine’? Or are there any surprises thrown in?

It’s hard to say but it’s impossible that time hasn’t changed some things. But saying that there’s also something that we do that we can’t really alter.

We could try all day and all night to alter it and we wouldn’t be able to. We have to be what it is that we are and stretch that as far as we can and I think that’s what we did with this third record.

You haven’t made a Dubstep album then?

No, no! Is that what’s happening now? Is that what all the kids are doing? I’m not down with the kids!

When you were making ‘Chelsea Dagger’, did you think at the time you’d made a hit?

No, not in the slightest! It’s hilarious that it’s done what it’s done. It’s hilarious that it has this other life, or two other lives. But I’m just happy to take the money! Also, it opens doors. It did open doors and it still seems to.

You’re beginning a UK tour at the end of October 2013, are you looking forward to it?

Do you know what, I am. Like a school kid waiting for the summer holidays! Because that’s the bit we get to do that we’re any good at. Knowing that you’ve got six or seven weeks of just going out and playing music every night, that’s heaven. Also, it’s just a ridiculous way of making a living. You get to spend all this time on a bus with your friends playing the guitar. Trust me, it’s a great, great life.

Have you got anything wacky on your tour rider?

We have less booze on it than we used to. Which is not to say we don’t have any. We just had an insane amount for a very long time before.

First things first, welcome back! How is it to be back?

Well, it’s nice to be anywhere!

Did you miss being away from The Fratellis?

I didn’t really miss it but I’m enjoying doing it again.

Why did you go on a hiatus in the first place?

Was it intentional?

Yeah, well we got fed up with each other. It happens.

People get divorced and don’t spend as much time together as bands do. So we got fed up with each other and the only way to know that is to spend time away.

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So, what triggered you to come back?

I just do everything on the spur of the moment, I tend not to think things through too much and thankfully because of that, on a certain day I woke up and thought “that [reforming The Fratellis] sounds like a good idea”. If I hadn’t woke up feeling that way, that day I wouldn’t have said anything and we wouldn’t have bothered.

Have you gained anymore control for coming back?

No, we’ve got no control. You’ve got so little control it’s pointless thinking about it. Your bid to control is to make the record you want to make and play gigs. That’s where the control is.

“Rock and Roll shouldn’t be laboured over. When you labour over it you lose the excitement.”

And how was it recording your new album?

We’re not the kind of guys that are going to spend months at a time, or even weeks, at the studio. This probably took two or three weeks at the most. Which is all our first record took and it’s all it really should take for guys like us. Rock and Roll shouldn’t be laboured over. When you labour over it you lose the excitement. So we didn’t do that this time.

So, what does 2014 hold for The Fratellis?

We’re happy to just be allowed to play and go on and do the only thing, as I say, we’re any good at. It’s always a case of pushing your luck and I think we’ve been pushing our luck since we started. If there is a next year, I’d just be happy with there being a next year, musically, for us.

Before we go, the top hat: will it ever make an appearance again?

It might still be in a cupboard somewhere. I don’t know if I even have the hair for it anymore. I could never play in it because it would never stay on.

In videos they’d use pins to keep it attached so it would almost stick into your head. I think those days might be gone!

By Bryony Curtis

Country-Rock and Roll anthem-heroes The Fratellis are back after stepping out of the music spotlight for five years. In an honest and modest interview, frontman Jon Fratelli spoke with BBM ahead of their UK tour and album release.

Fair enough! What can fans expect when they come and see you live? Will there be fireworks or anything spectacular?

We never did anything like that and every time we tried doing things like that they went wrong because it would take a level of interest from the band themselves to make sure it went exactly how you wanted it to go and we could have the idea but then forget about it and it would never quite work.

A couple of times we tried to be theatrical with it and it just went terribly wrong. We walk on, we pick up guitars and we play and all we can really offer is blood, sweat and tears and that’s all you can give.

MUSIC NEWS

Trentemøller Trentemøller is back with his highly-anticipated third album, ‘Lost’. An album that might surprise a few who boxed him into the Dance genre, Trentemøller spoke with immense pride when we caught up with him. And why wouldn’t he? Following a support slot for Depeche Mode in the summer, an incredible album awaiting release and an upcoming European and US tour, this guy’s got a lot to smile about.

Hi Anders, how are you?

I’m well, thank you.

What have you been up to recently?

We actually just finished touring with Depeche Mode in Europe. We had eight different cities and then we did about ten festivals. Right now I’m in my apartment, about to head to the studio to rehearse with my band for our tour in November.

You released your third full-length album ‘Lost’ on 23rd September; are you happy with the final result?

Yes, very happy. For me, this has been one of the easiest albums to make because things seemed to happen much more quickly compared to former albums; I don’t know why it was like that. But I’m really happy that the ideas I had before making the album ended up being as good as I could hope for.

Do you have a personal favourite track off of the album?

Yeah of course, one of my favourites is the opening track, ‘Dream’ with Mimi Parker from Low on vocals. She has a fantastic voice and I have been a Low fan for many years, so that is definitely one of my favourites; to have that magic that she can bring with her voice.

So did you feel like you had to limit yourself of your influences?

The most important thing for me is to be openminded, to not think too much about what I’m doing.

In the middle of the working process, I can see that this album will go in a certain direction. In the beginning, I just want to see where the music takes me.

You set up your first live band in 2007 with Henrik Viskov on drums and Mickael Simpson on guitar, has the line-up changed at all?

It’s actually a new line-up. Henrik is one of the most famous designers and artists in Denmark, so he’s doing his own thing making clothes. We have two new guitar players and a new drummer who also played with The Rayvonettes. We have Marie Fisker who features on the album and will also be singing Low’s songs, as we can’t take them with us! It was actually quite a challenge to make them her own songs. I really didn’t want her to copy what the other singers did because she has such a beautiful voice herself.

“It’s great for me, after being isolated in the studio for 12 months, to meet with a band and show them my vision ”

The record sounds much more postPunk and Indie influenced compared to previous Trentemoller records, but we’re guessing you don’t like to be characterised by genre...

Yeah, for me I’m not thinking much in music boxes, so of course there are inspirations from punk-rock, but also from the club scene and The Doors with their organ sound. I’m inspired by a lot of different music and I was trying to put all of that with the Trentemoller sound and glue it all together. That was a big challenge to have so many different styles and influences and try and make it one homogenic thing.

What do you love most about heading out on stage?

I love that it is not only me, but several people together. The social thing is very important, especially as the new musicians come with feedback and ideas to how the music can sound.

It’s great for me, after being isolated in the studio for 12 months, to meet with a band and show them my vision for the music and the different parts to play. The drummer could have an idea that this song could sound better if we put the tempo up or down. All those ideas are welcome.

You mentioned that you toured with Depeche Mode earlier, was that the best experience of your life?

Maybe not the best, because there’s quite a lot to choose from! But it was a huge experience because I really grew up with them - they were the soundtrack

to my teens. It was pretty crazy to be playing on the same stage, such as the Berlin Olympic stadium, in front of 75,000 people, but also hanging out with them with a beer, talking to them as normal people, and seeing that they were really down to earth. It was great for me to see that my old heroes were having a good time.

You’re touring yourself later in 2013 and into 2014; where are you looking forward to heading to the most?

Actually I love playing all over the world. We’re heading off to 20 different cities, then the States and Canada. I’m crossing my fingers that we go to Australia. We’ve played three or four times there. Nothing is confirmed but we may be doing something in April or May. Well, our readers would be very pleased if you paid them a visit! Will there be any surprises for the audience during the tour?

Well, I won’t be dancing naked or anything! But part of our show is that it has strong visuals. Henrik Viskov has designed the stage that we are using; it’s hard to describe but the visuals are a big part of the show. He also did the whole set design for former shows, so for every new tour we have a new look and set.

What will be the next single off of the album?

The next single is called Candy Tongue with Marie Fisker, a beautiful Danish singer. I’m looking forward to seeing the feedback and I’m just waiting to get the album out!

So when the touring’s done and the promoting of the album has finished, what will you get up to?

I will start working on the next album - I already have some ideas! For me, I can remember when we finished our last tour, I was really hungry to get writing again and so many months went by with playing and doing interviews. It is really great for me to be in the studio by myself and writing. I will begin as soon as we have ended the tour.

By Charlotte Mellor

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MUSIC NEWS

One To Watch Sky Ferreira might not be a household name just yet, but she’s well on her way. The bottle-blonde singer songwriter has been simmering away below the surface for a couple of years, using the Internet to get her name out there.

Her impeccable looks, sultry demeanour, 80s Electro-Pop infused music style and ‘couldn’t care less’ vocals give her what it takes to become an icon. However, having just been arrested for heroin and ecstasy possession… we await to hear if she’ll be doing a Lilo and becoming the new celeb jail bird.

Single Reviews Franz Ferdinand – Love Illumination

Screeching guitar twangs drowned in distortion open Franz Ferdinand’s latest single ‘Love Illumination’ before frontman Alex Karpanos’ trademark vocal drone is introduced. The chorus is simplistic yet insistent and the melodic keyboard breakdown does effectively add a bit of difference to the consistent guitar riff. Franz Ferdinand tracks can sometimes all blend into one and although ‘Love Illumination’ is a good listen, it’s no exception.

Empire Of The Sun – DNA (Calvin Harris Remix)

Top Podcasts, Radio & Sets Laidback Luke – Mixmash Radio

Laidback Luke’s Mixmash Radio Podcast showcases fresh tunes and Dance classics each week alongside different hosts including Laidback Luke himself.

Available on iTunes

The Chillout Lounge

The Chillout Lounge is packed full of breath-taking tracks to add a bit of contrast to your weekly listening.

Perfect for the morning after a heavy night or after a long week at work. thechilloutloungemix.com Available on iTunes

Release Yourself

World-renowned DJ, Roger Sanchez hosts the Release Yourself podcast every two weeks, complete with his chosen Hot Download, the RY Exclusive track and the RY Spotlight artist.

Available on iTunes

Super Best Friendcast

This podcast sees two best friends chat endlessly about everything and anything. From video games to pop culture to life’s trivial things – it’s all in the Super Best Friendcast.

Available on iTunes

I need R3HAB

I need R3HAB is a weekly Dance music podcast brought to you by Dutch DJ and producer R3HAB. Tune in for the week’s hottest new tunes and mixes hosted by R3HAB himself.

Available on iTunes

The NEXTMEN Podcast

Critically acclaimed DJ/songwriting/production duo NEXTMEN take to the podcast stage to bring their fans a selection of some of the best new and old Hip-Hop. Available on iTunes

The Nerdist

An honest and fun podcast lead by Chris Hardwick. Featuring his closest friends and some famous faces too, each podcast discusses the funny and serious things in life with a dash of nerd thrown in too. www.nerdist.com/podcast/nerdist/ Available on iTunes

Knife Party at TomorrowLand 2013

Listen time and time again to Knife Party’s explosive set performed at TomorrowLand 2013. Crazy drops and anticipating build-ups are all included so turn it up loud! soundcloud.com/livesets-tomorrowland/knife-party-at-tomorrowland-2013

Best Of YouTube Podcast

This podcast does exactly what the title suggests and rounds up the best YouTube videos of the week.

The funny, weird and inventive are all included to cheer you up or have you gobsmacked.

Available on iTunes

Heisenberg – The Breaking Bad Podcast

For any lovers of the show Breaking Bad, this podcast gives episode run-downs, theories about the show’s ending (the mad and the sad) and just general Breaking Bad gossip. A great addition to watching the show.

Available on iTunes

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Having just been named wealthiest DJ in the world, Calvin Harris, and his characteristic musical style, is just about everywhere right now. His remix of Empire Of The Sun’s track ‘DNA’ pairs minimalistic verses against elevated choruses to give the track enough variation whilst retaining a series of soundscapes expected to be found in Dance music today.

Powerful and uplifting, ‘DNA’ is a club anthem through and through.

Resin Dogs – Still The Beats Classic Funk sounds are combined with modern, quick-witted rap in Aussie band Resin Dogs’ latest single ‘Still The Beats’.

It’s a vibrant Funk/Hip-Hop tune that has a modern edge thanks to the excitable disc scratching yet it incorporates subtle brass instrumentation to create a full band sound.

Ultimately the single showcases that even after 28 years since the band’s last studio album, they can create a refreshing and edgy sound capable of appealing to new listeners.

The Fratellis – Seven Nights Seven Days Blasting in with a fast paced drum pattern and guitar strum ‘Seven Nights Seven Days’, The Fratellis’ most recent release, creates a heavy rush of excitement due to its upbeat tempo and anthemic style. Lyrically simple, complete with a hearty sing-a-long chorus, the track knows how to get itself lodged in your brain. In reality, however, ‘Seven Nights Seven Days’ is a fairly predictable release, as their sound hasn’t progressed far from the musical formula used on their 2006 debut ‘Costello Music’.

Album Reviews Yuna – Nocturnal

Malaysian songstress Yuna recently made her debut appearance on the Australian scene in Adelaide, but it’s no secret that the young star has been focusing a lot of her playful energy on this - the release of her second full-length album, ‘Nocturnal’.

Found somewhere between Alt-Folk and Pop let’s say a sort of Avril Lavigne meets Emily Sandé - this record’s main appeal lies largely within its production value. Having already buddied up with the mighty Pharrell Williams on her breakthrough hit ‘Live Your Life’, Yuna has this time enlisted the help of Pharrell’s fellow Neptunes prodigy, Chad Hugo, to help capture her sound.

Musically, it’s a pleasant listen throughout. There are some interesting instruments to be discovered and the song structures are pleasing at best. But lyrically speaking, ‘Nocturnal’ feels very naïve.

Sounding like a dodgy 70s police sitcom, the intro to ‘I Want You Back’ leads onto a delicate voice expressing regret towards their (perhaps now former) partner. It’s not an overly bad song, but it’s just not a great one either.

A sizeable chunk of the 11 tracks are about the same dull subject (you guessed it - relationships), and no matter how many times you hear a quirky handclap or jazzy vibrato, you’re left feeling that there is a lack of originality present. That said, it’s almost certain that this record is home to a handful of potential Top 40 singles (see ‘Rescue’ & ‘Colors’), and if you’re simply looking for a bit of summerysounding, guilt-free Pop music injected into your daily routine, why not give this one a go?

Music Video Of The Month Movement – Us This Electronic duo from Sydney present a disturbing cinematic masterpiece exploring gang violence. The video for ‘Us’ was directed

by Dave Ma. The song itself is stunning, with effortless vocals keeping a steady pace throughout the song, and flickers of steel pans.

Watch this space, as we’re pretty sure this song is going to blow up.

Quasi – Mole City

Quasi have been making music for 20 years, and to celebrate this outstanding milestone, the duo are releasing this new album that is quite simply epic.

Clocking up a whopping 24 tracks, ‘Mole City’ is a record that sounds like it was conceived in the mind of Stephen Malkmus during a bad acid trip.

There are moments that are both dark and dreary, a type of deeply depressing slumber-rock that plods along to a symphony of fuzzy guitar licks (see ‘New Western Way’). Whilst on the other hand you’ve got the bluesy-sounding, hook-filled power-Pop tracks such as ‘Nostalgia Kills’, something that wouldn’t feel massively out of place if it was heard on a Black Keys album.

Throughout the duo’s impressive and creative career, they’ve managed to remain totally original when it comes to songwriting, and this album provides further proof of exactly that. Whether it’s a clattering of thumping drums beaten out by Janet Weiss or an echoing note strung out through a wailing guitar played by Sam Coomes, there is something wildly unique about this band.

Interluding instrumental tracks such as ‘Chrome Duck’, are a cosmic mix of digital tones and 8-bit noise that helps to link the songs together, and it’s these little inventive blips of sound that keep you rolling over from one tune to the next. Give this vastly interesting album a moment of your time and you’re bound to discover something truly absorbing.

We just hope they are still making their weird and wonderful music in another 20 years time. Who knows what that might sound like…

Joy Wellboy – Yorokobi’s Mantra

Born five years apart at the turn of the decade from 1975 to 1980, Wim Janssens and Joy Adegoke where inadvertently set on a course to meet, settle down with each other and eventually form a band.

That band would be called Joy Wellboy.

As we are introduced to the couple via ‘Before The Sunrise’ on their new album ‘Yorokobi’s Mantra’, you can’t help but envision Ryan Gosling’s shifty eyes peering into the rearview mirror of his Mustang as the Los Angeles street lamps flicker by. If it’s possible to imagine the Drive soundtrack being written by The xx, then it’s likely that this would be the product.

The record’s charm is delightfully enticing, especially with such a diverse range of electric-based songs on display. The Pop flirt of ‘I Can Handle’ offers a shining example of Joy Wellboy’s attention to detail and abilities to write an effective Pop song. But it’s the gloomier, more mysterious side of the band that feeds your desire to listen. The soft tones of ‘Lay Down Your Blade’ resonates with a shadowy core and leaves you to ponder thoughtfully over the song’s origin.

Joy’s accent-heavy voice blends near perfectly over the course of the album and comes to a delicate conclusion with the gorgeous sound of ‘Raindrop Races’. This record is sublime and is sure to propel the band forward into a global spotlight in no time at all.

TLC To Release Greatest Hits Alongside Biopic All you nineties kids out there will be thoroughly excited about the impending release of TLC’s Greatest Hits. With a biopic premiering on VH1 on 26th October, CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story will see Lil Mama (of ‘Lip Gloss’ and ‘America’s Best Dance Crew’) playing the late Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, actress/singer Drew Sidora (Step Up, That’s So Raven) as T-Boz, and actress/singer KeKe Palmer (Akeelah and the Bee, Ice Age: Continental Drift) as Chilli. TLC’s Greatest Hits will feature classic tracks such as ‘Creep’, ‘Waterfalls’ and of course, ‘Unpretty’.

Rumour also has it that T-Boz and Chilli will be releasing a full album of brand new material in 2014… let’s just hope it’s better than their most recent release ‘Crooked Smile’ with J.Cole.

Some Things Should never happen...

We were highly displeased to see that apparently Cher Lloyd has not faded away gracefully, as we would have hoped for. Instead the X-Factor failure/ Cheryl Cole wannabe, has brought out a new single, ‘I Wish’ featuring TI, which means she’s been out of sight in the UK, and been doing stuff in America. Bastards!

What we can tell you though, is the single is horrendous, and in the video she plays a love-sick waitress vying for TI’s attention over the big bootied bimbos that are surrounding him. It has an element of trying to be Mariah’s Heartbreaker, but basically she ain’t got shit on Meme, but she does seem to have accumulated a mass of rubbish tattoos all over her arms, so the Cheryl Cole dream is alive and well.

The video to ‘I Wish’ also confirms that the 20-year-old pikey is still snarling like a rabid mutt.

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FUNNY NEWS Getting A Taste For A Name When it comes to food, some people love chocolate and sweets, other people love curries and wine, and people like BBM love the taste of their flatmate’s girlfriend’s underwear whenever the two of them are out. Just the thought of it makes their mouth water…

But while chewing on soiled undergarments may sound a tad strange, we’d never think about naming ourselves after our favourite food.

That’d just be weird.

But that didn’t stop the freak formerly known as Saire May, a bloke from North Shields with a taste for a nasty brown paste, changing his name to Marmite. The weirdo made the change by deed poll to show his ‘devotion and passion’ to the dark brown paste.

“I’m not exactly sure how old I was when I first tried Marmite, but I just remember eating it as far back as I can remember,” he said. “I like the smell, the taste, the texture. I think I pretty much like everything about it.”

The 38-year-old nut-job, who we can safely assume isn’t married, said that he easily gets through a jar a week and even has a plethora of Marmite paraphernalia including limited edition jars, cufflinks and a recipe book dating back to the Second World War. “My family think I’m mad,” added Mr Marmite. “However my mum just shrugged her shoulders - she expects this kind of thing from me. I already have plenty more Marmite-mad ideas in the pipeline and will continue to do my bit to spread the love and help End Marmite Neglect.’

What a bloody crackpot. Now excuse us while we rifle through our flatmate’s washing basket.

Protection Racket From Elderly

Filthy pensioners in South Africa are lubing themselves up and buying condoms by the barrowful - and thankfully it’s got nothing to do with geriatric sex games.

The kinky wrinklies believe the lubricant in condoms alleviates arthritis-related pain, so instead of sheathing themselves for a night of fifty shades of grey hair, they’re actually rubbing the condoms all over their joints. Freaks.

“This oil is number one,” Elizabeth Moyo said after demonstrating how she uses the condoms. “I am tired of the pills.”

Medical experts say there is no scientific evidence that condoms help with pain relief and are concerned that condoms will now be wasted and not used for their rightful purpose.

Frankly, we’d be more worried if the false-hip brigade actually were using them for their rightful purpose.

Not Laughing His Ass Off Anymore

As a general rule of thumb, it’s not a good idea to make an ass out of a military dictator. And it’s an even worse idea to make a military dictator out of an ass, as an Egyptian farmer found out last month after naming his donkey after army chief General Abdel Fattah al-Sisi and putting a khaki cap on his head while riding through a village.

After hearing about the incident, General Sisi showed just how great his sense of humour is by having the man arrested for “directly insulting” the army.

Sisi, who ousted Islamist president Mohamed Morsi in July, is vice prime minister and defence minister as well as army chief. His portrait is displayed in shop windows, in cars and on walls in the Arab world’s most populous country. He’s also a massive cock.

38 www.bbmlive.com

Celebrity Tweets Here we help translate the literary treats published by the wonderful celebrities that grace us with their presence...

Justin Bieber @justinbieber “Where am I??”

- So far up your own arse, you can’t see what a massive twat you are, perhaps?

Harry Styles @Harry_Styles “How did I get cake on my shoulder? I haven’t even had any cake.”

- Bless him, probably can’t remember because of all that coke. Fizzy drinks are so bad for you…

Courtney Love Cobain @Courtney “Lovely, just caught my dog twerking....... What’s this world coming to” - Sobriety’s going well then Lady Gaga @ladygaga “I AM DANCING IN MY ROOM I SOMETIMES STILL CANT BELIEVE IM A POPSTAR, everyday i pinch myself! *DANCING*” - We can’t believe it either, Gaga Miley Ray Cyrus @MileyCyrus “Y’all did went so above and beyond with wrecking ball :) I love you so much and thank you for breaking the vevo record!!!”

- And afterwards, “y’all did went” back to high school, we’re hoping Lil’ Kim @LilKim “Thank U my #KillerBees!!!!! I Loooooooove U all so much!!!!!! #1millionKillerBees Real ones!!!! Muahhhhh!!! :) :)” - Aww, so nice to see that Kim holds no grudges against the bees that made her face puffy and unrecognisable Lily Allen @lilyallen “I had a weird dream about me and Noel Gallagher murdering Jake Bugg.”

- Not unlike the lovely dream we had about us and Cheryl Cole murdering Lily.

Perez Hilton @PerezHilton “Miley is the new black - in more ways than one!”

- Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Mail Fail For Porn Pushers

It’s always embarrassing emailing someone by accident. Usually the worst that happens is you get one of those “mailer demon” notices or a baffled reply from the person you didn’t mean to communicate with. It’s even worse if you do it with letters rather than emails, like the 24-month period between 2007 to 2009 when BBM accidentally sent hundreds of explicit photos of our own genitals to each member of Girls Aloud. When we explained it was a harmless misunderstanding, the police soon let us go free, with the minor inconvenience of a restraining order and a suspended sentence.

But every now and again, you get an absolute howler of a case of wrong message to the wrong guy that puts BBM’s genital-based indiscretions to shame. Step forward six porno peddlars in western Japan who have been arrested after mailing their catalogues of filth to the head of the Osaka Police Department by mistake.

Last month, police arrested Toshiharu Hidaka, 27, and five other filth-mongers on suspicion of possessing obscene material with the intent to sell it in Osaka. The suspects had been sending catalogues of illegal porn DVDs to random male customers by mail, and three sets were addressed to the police chief’s house accidentally.

After reviewing the footage for several hours (when his wife was out and with the curtains closed) the police chief called for officers to raid Hidaka’s warehouse of smut in Osaka. They seized about 280,000 uncensored discs as well as 7000 erectile dysfunction pills. Talk about “pulling” an all-nighter.

Idiots Come Up With Visa Pleasers

Time for a subject that’s very dear to a lot of BBM readers’ hearts: visas.

For many travellers, getting permanent residency is like finding a golden wrapper in a Wonka bar, and takes just as much luck. Some applicants don’t exactly help themselves though.

In fact, we’d go as far as to say some are as thick as pig shit – which is why passport authorities have compiled a list of the weirdest questions asked by visa applicants from around the world.

Top of the list is “‘I’ve heard that cocaine is legal in Colombia; is this true?” which narrowly pips “Do you know if it’s easier to find a wife in England? I’m struggling here.”

Other highlights include: “If I live in America, will I be a movie star?” and “Is it legal to marry your car in the United States?”

All very fine examples of human stupidity, but none of them top BBM’s favourite: “I’ve committed a serious crime, but I haven’t been caught or convicted. Will I be immune once I move?”

Perhaps these guys, as well as the ‘Peru Two’, should have come to BBM to get the lowdown on legal, drug-free travelling.

Visit our Visas section online for more information.

Check In But Don’t Come Out

BBM knows its target audience, having done painstaking research into our readership and what makes them tick. In recent years we’ve branched out to incorporate potential readers (illegal British immigrants, loners that got dumped by their girlfriend after two weeks travelling) that may have cost us our principles, but get the mag’s shifting.

Unfortunately for the religious owners of the Chymorvah Hotel in Marazion, Cornwall, they were so set in their ways that it cost them their hotel. The reason? They won’t allow gay people to share a room because apparently it’s a “sin” for God to see bum-on-bum action.

As a result of this somewhat bigoted approach, they’ve lost a fair whack of business and have been forced to put the hotel up for sale. On top of that, the couple have had to pay £3,600 in damages to civil partners Martyn Hall and Steven Preddy, after refusing them a room in September 2008, in breach of the Equalities Act. “Last winter was terrible.

We were actually shivering and were hungry. In 2013, two people who worked all their lives at this have ended up cold and hungry.

It’s not right,” Mrs Bull said.

Bless, your heart really does go out to the silly morons, doesn’t it?

Blondes Gone Bonkers As we’ve watched Miley Cyrus humping a wrecking ball (repeatedly) we thought we’d reflect on all those blondes in celeb world who have gone batshitcrayzee over the last few years.

First and foremost, Britney is the queen of breakdowns, and for that we are forever truly grateful, as it was a highly entertaining media shitstorm to behold.

Secondly, Xtina Slaguleira and her immense weight gain and generally shit hairdos, and telling everyone she’s a bit of a lesbian...

who cares now that she’s fat and not hot?

Lindsay Lohan... where do we start? The eating disorders, drug abuse, plastic surgery, DUI’s, losing all her money... the list is endless, but purely priceless.

Gazza, dear old Gazza, you cry, you drink, and now you’re about to star in a documentary about having botox and trying not to drink.

Jessica Simpson... you were oh so fit, but then you got up the duff and apparently decided it was ok to put on the pounds... we’re not sure the “bank” can forgive you for that one!

Donatella Versace... you look like a muppet, no questions about it!

And Amanda Bynes... currently too mentally unstable to be tried for starting a fire outside someone’s house and her awesome selection of wigs, just makes you wonder what on earth Nickelodeon did to the poor girl.

www.bbmlive.com 39

SPORTS NEWS 1D Injury A Gift From The Gab

Before last month, the most interesting thing about Gabriel Agbonlahor was a surname that sounds like it might be French for “I boned a whore.”

The Aston Villa non-striker has turned being consistently average into an art form and is about as controversial as a Wiggles concert for Christian Youth. Yet with one simple selfless act last month, Agnoblabore simultaneously united football fans of every stripe across the country while also receiving death threats from another influential cultural group. He’s basically become the Jesus Christ of football. So what was his crime? He tackled One Direction star Louis Tomlinson so hard that it made the teen-pop ponce throw up into his own hand at a charity match at a packed out Celtic Park.

“It was just one of those things. I’ll apologise to Louis when we meet up,” Aggybonbonlahor said. “I know he enjoyed playing in the game and it’s fantastic that he took time out to be here, and the same with everybody who played.”

But that failed to appease rabid Directioners who were baying for Aggrobonlahoor’s blood on Twitter, declaring a kind of teen-pop fatwa on the bemused player.

“This guy hurt Louis knee. I shall hurt your face. I better hear that you apologized or I will find you, and I will kill you,” tweeted one 1D fan. Another commented: “HURT LOUIS AND THE WHOLE ONE DIRECTION FANDOM WILL HURT U TOO. DIE of cancer Agbonlahor”.

In fairness to Agnoblabore, he barely touched the boy band brat – which led to our favourite tweet of the whole debacle: “CONFIRMED - Louis Tomlinson is set to be out of action for 4-6 months with a broken vagina.”

Cousin It Lookalike Gets Job Who Needs Ozil When You’ve Riding The Swiss Matterhorn Reporting On Football Got Mifsud?

It’s an open secret that Richard Keys, the hairy mansized Ewok who has been trained to commentate on football, hit rock bottom after his sacking from Sky Sports.

The last time BBM saw him, he was boozed up in Kings Cross “hanging out the back of” a prostitute, dressed as an assistant referee while a crying Andy Gray goaded him on. It was a sorry sight.

But things have turned around for Keys and Gray.

Not only are they back on TV, commentating for Al Jazeera, they’ve brought the old swagger with them. And by “old swagger” we mean self-deluded egomania.

In an interview with the Independent following his appointment in Qatar, walking hairball Keys talked about Andy Gray “the Daddy of them all, the guy who invented it”, Gary Neville “He was my idea. Me and Geoff Shreeves’”, and likened himself to an experienced 747 pilot. He also had a pop at Sky Sports saying people would get bored of Neville and Jamie Carragher with their “insight” and “tactical nous”, which as we all know will never replace needlessly moving big arrows around on a screen and making Jamie Redknapp feel uncomfortable by talking about shagging his ex-girlfriend.

“When [Sky Sports] were signing left, right and centre, I said, ‘I wouldn’t do that’,” he blathered.

“Sky have done their money. They’ve done their money on [Gary] Neville and [Jamie] Carragher and [Graeme] Souness and they haven’t got the money to pay anyone else. And with the regularity of those three, the novelty will wear off.”

So not bitter at all then. Still, it’s nice to see Keys and Gray working in a country where their views on football, punditry and the role of women in society will be appreciated.

40 www.bbmlive.com

Remember the start of the A-League season last year? The arrival of Alessandro Del Piero, Shinji Ono and Emile Heskey; the birth of the Western Sydney Wanderers. It was so exciting we almost had a semi-on. And this year is shaping up to be just as boner-rific with a cavalcade of star signings such as… erm, *sound of paper shuffling* Michael Mifsud (the name rings a bell, didn’t he play for Coventry once?), Derby County’s Luke Adams (so famous he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page) and Airdrie United flop Marc Warren. We’re getting aroused just thinking about it!

Although this year’s new batch of marquee signings is as underwhelming as BBM’s erection, we can always rely on Sydney FC octogenarian Del Piero to give the season a much-needed injection of star power.

The 52-year-old veteran scored 14 goals last season, despite battling injuries such as arthritis and Alzheimer’s, and has been named as club captain for the coming season.

“Last year is last year. It is the past,’’ the 74-year-old said. ‘’We have to think about last year only to think about what was wrong and what we can do better.

We change a lot of players. Frank [Farina] is the boss from the start of the season and not from the half like last year. This year is very important for all of us, I think. Sometimes it can happen, a season like last year.’’

He then hobbled off stage with his Zimmer frame before being handed a press release that he fruitlessly tried to read before asking if anyone had seen his “readers”.

“I remember when all this was fields,” added 86-year-old Del Piero, pointing to Sydney harbour.

Hot on the heels of the Toblerone, the army knife and the cuckoo clock, those war-dodging Swiss mavericks have come up with yet another awesome invention – strippers as pre-match entertainment at football games. Expect an exodus of blokes from west London when Chelsea play FC Basel in the Champions League next month.

As we all know, most Swiss inventions are funded by the gold they stole from civilians persecuted by the Nazis during the Second World War, but this one is the brainchild of FC Luzern’s 68-year-old owner Bernard Alpstaeg, who seems to be modelling himself as Switzerland’s answer to Hugh Hefner – a position currently occupied by Sepp “make lady footballers wear tighter shorts” Blatter.

Apparently Alpstaeg wants supporters on top form before matches get underway.

“We are doing well this season and we have a great team, but we want to be even more attractive,” said Alpstaeg, while walking around in velvet pyjamas and smoking a pipe.

“I want a show before kick-off. I want scantily clad strippers and sexy dancers to entertain fans before the game. The stadium would be full – that’s guaranteed!”

Alpstaeg says he is willing to do whatever it takes to increase attendance figures, even if it includes hiring a number of scantily clad ladies to remove their clothes and dirty dance before their fixtures.

He has already chosen the ladies he wants, and has now submitted the proposal to the Swiss FA to get final clearance for the act to become a regular thing. If he’s smart, he’ll realise the strip show could also double as a potential match-making event for players who haven’t married a big-titted thick WAG yet.

Di Canio Dictatorship Finally Over

Barton Bends Over Backwards For Gay Rights

Philosophising thug Joey Barton believes it’s time football embraced its gay players. But he doesn’t mean he wants to “literally” embrace players. That’d be gay.

“The bureaucrats have been guilty of not taking a tough enough stance to make this issue go away,” he said, sounding suspiciously like the start of a Richard Littlejohn column about the EU. “We live in quite a liberal democracy and it’s incredible we’re even having this conversation in 2013. The modernday footballer is quite open-minded I think. People’s sexuality has become less and less of an issue.”

Well said Joey. However, he then ruined it by adding: “Hopefully a large number of players will get behind the campaign.” *Insert Sid James-style dirty laugh here* The QPR midfielder spearheaded a campaign by bookies Paddy Power and gay charity Stonewall to get footballers to don rainbow bootlaces last month.

Players at 134 professional teams in Britain were sent the laces to promote the Right Behind Gay Footballers message, which not only aims to tackle homophobia, but also describes what gay footballers are looking for.

“It’ll be incredibly difficult to be the first player to come out until the game makes it easier for gay players to do so,” Barton added. “It’s not down to the players whose sexuality may be called into question to make the next move.

It’s important we take the first steps with this campaign. To any gay footballers, we have to say: we will support you.”

And now it seems Sunderland’s favourite footballing fascist, Paulo Di Canio, has paid the price for taking those words to heart. Di Canio, who’s so right wing he makes Antonio Valencia look like a central midfielder, was booted as Sunderland boss last month - no great surprise there - but it seems his exit wasn’t so much because the club was rooted to the foot of the table after a shocking set of results, but because he’s a maniac who kept demanding the players stick to an increasingly bizarre set of rules. The last of those rules was demanding that foreign players learn five new English words every day or face a hefty fine.

“The players that have come here from abroad, they chose to come here, they must learn English,” he sich-heiled.

Di “Mein Kampf” Canio had already taken control of the lives of most players within his squad, previously banning them from eating tomato ketchup, drinking cola, using ice in their drinks and preparing kosher food. Okay, we made that last one up, but we’re sure it would’ve been next on his list.

“It’s driving me crazy,” said Di Canio. “Every single training session I spend five minutes on this [vocabulary]. Every session you can see that everything is going okay, then when we practise something, there’s a misunderstanding. A British player says: ‘You squeeze up,’ and the French player or the Italian can’t understand. I stop the session. I tell them to learn five key words that are for the back four – squeeze up, cover, drop, hold.”

Funnily enough, those are the simple phrases we use in Bangkok when we end up with a ladyboy.

“You have to fight with these things every day,” Di Canio continued blathering.

“But squeeze is difficult. ‘Forget squeeze,’ I say. ‘Just use ‘up’. Don’t use squeeze, it’s difficult, up is enough. I have had training sessions for two months, still I see players getting confused.”

Have you seen the England team Paulo? They always look confused and they all speak English. We suspect the actual problem might be the team is made up of Premier League footballers – who are all inherently thick.

If anyone else had said it, we’d be impressed, but coming from a guy who once tried to kill as many Man City players as he could in one minute, we’re not exactly convinced of his ‘liberal’ attitude. Still, when Joey Barton says he wants to stamp homophobia out, you know he’ll take it seriously, and he’ll probably try to give it a swift knee in the bollocks too while the referee’s not looking.

In totally unrelated news, Graeme Le Saux, Sol Campbell and Matthew Taylor have made no comments this month.

World Cup Worries October sees qualifying for the 2014 World Cup come to an end and with the tournament due to be held in Brazil, the home of beautiful beaches and beautiful women; every side is desperate to secure their place.

In the European section only the Netherlands and Italy are guaranteed to be there with eleven spaces still up for grabs.

Predictably, the R.O.I, Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales are all already out of the running, but England remains one of the teams scrambling to qualify and in typical fashion they have made a distinctly average group look like world beaters. Playing the likes of San Marino and Montenegro - who have a combined population smaller than that of Leeds – Roy Hodgson’s side have done their best to cock it up, by drawing just as many games as they’ve won.

All this means that England are walking an extremely fine line and need two wins from their final games against Montenegro (Oct 11) and Poland (Oct 15) to guarantee qualification. If this proves too much for the three lions then they could end up facing France or Portugal in the playoffs or miss out all together and spend next summer at Butlins instead of Copacabana beach.

Theo Walcott has already been ruled out with injury, but with Rickie “he played in League Two ten years ago” Lambert ready to step in and both games being played at Wembley, you would like to think England can get the results they need. Granted it will probably be via two last minute deflected goals in off Wayne Rooney’s arse but hey they all count.

Come on England, no one wants a summer without a terrible novelty world cup song!

www.bbmlive.com 41

By Richard Gadsby & Alastair Davidson

Anyone who’s been at a BNP rally, or been forced to speak to a London cabby, has probably heard the line: “Now I’m no racist but they come over here, take our jobs and don’t even bother to learn the language.”

CRYSTAL BALLS

Horoscopes Libra

You are diagnosed with a rare disease known as Monopolesia. Go directly to jail, do not pass Go or collect $200.

Aquarius

Due to an administrative error at your local doctors, you go in to have your appendix out, but instead get facial reconstruction surgery to make you look like “Nasty” Nick Cotton from Eastenders. For the rest of your life, people “boo” you in the street and say what a disappointment you’ve been to your mother Dot.

Leo

You’re getting seriously bored of your muso mate banging on about how great Arcade Fire are. He keeps waffling on about pretentious things like “existentialism” and “philosophy as art”. Your argument that Blink 182 are just as good continually falls on deaf ears. Things reach a head in your local pub this week when he describes Arcade Fire’s new single as “a postmodern masterpiece that transcends lyrical definition and defies primitive concepts such as genre and labels”. When you respond by claiming “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink 182 is better because the band get their cocks out in the video, he snorts derisively, shakes his head and dismisses the American Pie punksters as “immature piffle”. Incensed by his continued besmirchment of your heroes, you push him off his chair, pull down your pants and try to fart in his face while yelling, “who’s immature now?” That showed him.

Pisces

If I were you I’d stop talking about Arcade Fire to Leo. It could get ugly.

Sagittarius

Did you know your girlfriend has been reading your diary? That’s right, she knows everything. Kill her now before she rings the police.

Scorpio

The most interesting thing that happens to you this month is you mistakenly think you spot Woody Allen near Sydney Opera House. It does look a lot like him, but it’s actually a recently convicted sex offender.

Gemini

Good news and bad news for you this month. You find out the hot intellectual girl you’ve been trying to hook up with is going to a mutual friend’s fancy dress party. Knowing she’s a film buff, you try to impress her by dressing up as Woody Allen. Unfortunately, the thick-rimmed black spectacles you buy from a charity store are very high prescription. Barely able to see through them, you end up stumbling into an after-school reading group and make a pass at what you think is the intellectual hotty, but is in fact a taller-thanaverage 14-year-old. The good news is your Woody Allen costume is so good it completely fools Scorpio.

Aries

Inspired by the character Don Draper in Mad Men, you start drinking Scotch at work and say things like “if you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation”, thinking it’ll make you sound impressive to potential clients and advertisers. Unfortunately, you’re a practising doctor and your attempt to feel-up the large-breasted red-head on reception leads to your immediate firing.

42 www.bbmlive.com

Capricorn

I’m receiving some strange visions of your future this month. It looks like you’re going to have back surgery. It also looks like you’ll be fit in time to play in the Australian Open. Weird. Wait a second, just realised I’ve accidentally opened the BBC website on my crystal ball and the top story is about Andy Murray. That’s the problem with these multi-media wireless crystal balls.

Virgo

You finally reach puberty. Well done you! Get ready for pimple breakouts, voice-breaking and intense dreams about your Auntie Carol that leave you with a very wet bed.

Taurus

There’s a reason the girl you’ve started seeing wants to take things slow.

Don’t worry, she’s not a prude or anything like that, but you might want to watch this week’s episode of Embarrassing Bodies. Let’s just say she makes an appearance on it with her “twin” sister. Too vague? The pair have been very close since birth – and her sister was stillborn. It’s called conjoined twin myslexia and it’s the closest you’ll ever get to a three-way.

Cancer

I haven’t got time to deal with your disgusting problem this month Cancer.

Just get some cream for the swelling and I’ll help you get rid of it completely next month. Until then, keep it in your pants.

Pub Quiz Facts Love a bit of trivia down the pub? Here’s a few things we bet you didn’t know...

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

The largest Greek population in the world besides Athens in Greece can be found in Melbourne, Victoria.

The harmonica is the world’s best-selling musical instrument.

A group of flamingos is called a ‘flamboyance’.

In 1811, nearly a quarter of all women in Britain were called Mary.

The middle layers of space suits are blown up like a balloon to press against the astronaut’s body. Without this pressure, the astronaut’s body would boil.

One human hair can support 3.5 ounces – the weight of about two chocolate bars.

In the film ‘Terminator 2: Judgment Day’, Arnold Schwarzenegger received a salary of $15 million; so the 700 words he spoke equated to $21,429 per word.

“Hasta la vista, baby” therefore earned him $85,716.

For music artists to win a gold disc in Britain, an album needs to sell 100,000 copies. In the USA they must sell 500,000.

A kangaroo cannot walk backwards.

The Mexican delicacy ‘refried beans’ are actually normally only fried once.

It is a common rule amongst airlines that each pilot flying the aircraft must eat a different meal, in order to minimise the risk of all pilots on board being ill.

In English law it is illegal to wilfully and wantonly disturb people by ringing their doorbells or knocking at their doors - even if it the crime is passed off under a name like ‘Knock down ginger’ or ‘knock-a-door run’.

The only 15 letter word in the English Language that can be spelled without repeating a letter is ‘uncopyrightable’.

The sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog,” uses every letter in the alphabet.

ASK CRYSTAL & JOKES

Ask Crystal Dear Crystal, I’ve got an infestation of cockroaches and have no idea how to get rid of them. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Yours sincerely, Walter Dear Walter, Call an exterminator. Come on people, this is easy!

Dear Crystal, I haven’t got any problems or anything, I just wanted to drop a line to say I think you’re doing a bang up job. Well done.

All the best, Saul Dear Saul, This is ridiculous. Where are all the sad, disgusting freaks this month? Where are all the transgender poo fetishists who have been secretly shagging their father’s step-mum, only to discover they have some hideous STD that has now been mysteriously passed around the entire family? Where are the “my boyfriend is an alien” girls?

Where are the “my girlfriend isn’t as good in bed as her sister” boys? It’s just been one easily solvable dilemma after another

this month. Now piss off and don’t write to me again until you’ve got something worthwhile to ask. Preferably about sex so I can dry hump my crystal ball while I read it.

Dear Crystal, I’m an Aries and in June’s edition of this magazine you predicted I’d die of herpes before the end of September. Well I do have herpes but it’s October now and I’m still alive and shagging – which is annoying because the last couple of months I’ve been knobing as many women as possible thinking these are my final few days on Earth - and instead I’ve got an angry mob of STD-riddled women baying for my blood.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a huge relief knowing I’m not going to die. But as you’re directly to blame for my predicament, the least you can do is tell me how to get out of it.

Thanks, Walt Junior

Dear Walt, I think I know what happened here. When I did that horoscope I was listening to Green Day’s ‘When September Ends’ on the

radio. It’s a haunting song that always brings a tear to my eye –because it reminds me of the time Billie Joe Armstrong, Tre Cool and Mike Dirnt all gangbanged me in the back of their tour bus. Anyway, the good news is I got it wrong, you were never meant to die in September. I meant to say December. My bad.

Dear Crystal, I think my girlfriend is a witch; her hands are thin and boney, she cackles in her sleep and she spends all her time in the basement with heavy, old books and cauldrons. I’ve been wanting to break up with her for ages but I’m worried she’ll curse me. Help?

Yours, Dave Dear Dave, If there are serious problems in your relationship then you should sit down and talk with her, man to witch. However, if you only want to end it because you think she casts spells, there are ways you can be sure. Burn her at the stake! Shove her off of Uluru and see if she floats back up! Of course, if she does, she’ll give you warts on your winky.

Jokes Wine?

Religion: No Drugs?

Religion: No Masturbation?

Religion: No I’m bored. Let’s go out and kill some people Religion: Let’s roll!

Bill, Hamilton

I was given some financial good news today.

The child I’ve been sponsoring in Africa has been mauled to death by a lion.

Clark, St Kilda

Sex is like pizza. When it’s good, it’s great. And when I’m drunk, I’ll pay for it.

Greg, Liverpool

Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.

Jim, Lonsdale

Have you ever played GTA reality? I have - I’ve just been mugged in Brixton.

Phil, Rockingham My new girlfriend is taking me out shopping tonight.

She said I need new clothes as I look too middle aged.

I’m gutted. I love my armour.

Flynn, Mackay I bet my wife that if she fell into the Grand Canyon she’d get stuck.

She didn’t get stuck but I still won.

Gordon, Cooktown So today, while bathing with my one-year-old daughter, I realised something; my infant daughter has more interest in my penis now than my wife does.

Still, a blowjob’s a blowjob.

Stan, Caloundra I’m involved in the war on drugs. I’m on drug’s side.

Jeff, Penrith

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.

Zac, Castlemaine

Stable relationships are for horses.

Dan, Ballarat Barbie has an awful lot of nice mini skirts for a girl whose knees don’t bend.

Steve, Portland I really should start saying “congratulations” instead of “are you keeping it?”

Ken, Torquay I was out collecting money for a sponsored walk last week... I collected so much that I got a taxi instead.

Chris, Wollongong

“Your son’s really quite gifted,” his P.E. teacher told me.

“Gifted?” I replied. “But the lazy bastard doesn’t like sports.”

“No, but he’s by far the biggest in the showers.”

Hank, Byron Bay Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have officially split as representatives confirm that their romance is over.

I guess their relationship just wasn’t twerking.

Rob, Surry Hills An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant and asked “Is there any chicken on the menu?”

I replied “No black Betty, it’s ham or lamb.”

Ian, Dalby The Apple iPhone 5c - named after the hourly pay rate of its employees.

Tom, Clinton I can’t remember when I first heard the phrase “One up the bum, no harm done.”

But whoever said it owes me a new guinea pig.

Jonny, Elizabeth

“Been drinking tonight sir?” The policeman asked.

“I had one earlier, but that was all,” I replied.

“I think you’ve had a few more than that sir. Would you step out of the van please.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the Postman Pat ride isn’t really designed for adults and there’s children waiting for their go.”

Josh, Gloucester

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ADULT FUN & ENTERTAINMENT

Dating With A Twist

The dating scene. Some say it’s a jungle out there. Others say it’s an arctic tundra with not a suitable suitor in sight.

And a few say they just feel lost at sea with the prospect of sifting through the freaks to find love. But for you singles, we’re here to show you that there are some truly unique dating experiences to be found in Australia.

You know the motto - work hard/play hard. And this is exactly what’s applied to the dating scene. But, like every bustling metropolitan city, some singles sometimes struggle to find the time or the confidence to ‘pick-up’ in bars/clubs/ the races (delete where appropriate).

Bachelor and Spinster Balls (B&S balls) are popular mini-festivals held in rural Australia for young ‘spinsters’ and bachelors. It takes place over one night and people flock there to try and meet a partner. Well, it originally had that intention, but it’s quickly become a night to have a good time with bucket loads of booze and meet up with old/new friends! It’s a wild all-night party with country music and Utes. They’re under threat as so many young‘uns are now moving to the big cities, but the tradition continues to get loyal support as many now drive miles to get to one and ensure they continue.

So never fear! In Australia, you’re spoilt for choice of ways to date; whether it’s a big ole party hosted by online dating companies or a guided safari through bars, you don’t need to worry for long about being dateless on Saturday nights.

We’re all familiar with the alternative options: online dating and speed dating to name the most popular. But now online dating is considered the norm with 69% of Australians saying they would be keen to try internet dating, 25% actually do it regularly, and 16% have been successful in finding long term relationships through internet dating sites. So now, why not think outside the computer box?

Let’s get a bit daring and unique with these dating experiences - what’s the worst that could happen?

Stop scouring profiles on dating sites to see who ticks the boxes on your ‘dream partner’ shopping list, and just focus on your general sphere of interest to find your sweetheart. Events4Singles (www.events4singles.com) hold alternative dates in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth. They run dance classes and dance party clubs for all those with dance passions: a bit of bump and grind with a touch of sophisticated salsa, anyone? If you’re one for health and fitness, climbing centres and yoga classes provide a great opportunity for singles to mix with those that share a love for personal wellbeing. Or join one of numerous tours or trips that allow singles to take off and bond on an excursion. Does getting some sightseeing done with a group of singles float your boat? You do run the risk of being trapped with people who aren’t your type, but if none of the people in your group turn you on, perhaps you’ll find a local who’s more suitable.

Another option is RSVP’s events (www.rsvp.com.au). They lead activities for singles to congregate in, such as “Slice and Dice” for single foodies to get more skills at cooking, or “Mega Meet Training Sessions” for those who don’t mind getting sweaty in front of potential mates. They also run big parties for singles at huge warehouse clubs or cool venues and they usually have a theme, for example, Halloween. It makes finding a date easier when you know that you’re surrounded by people who are single, keen and up for having a good time.

A truly unique to Australia and awesome alternative dating experience is Dating Safaris (www.datingsafaris.com). They’re held in Sydney, Melbourne and Geelong (Victoria), and they offer a variety of ‘safaris’. It’s laid-back blind dating but with a twist! You can choose between Picnic Safaris, Bar Safaris, Dinner Safaris and Restaurant Safaris.

Picnic Safaris take place in Centennial Park and are made up of a group of eighteen singles who want great company, good food and possibly a date by the end of it. The dinner safaris are intimate dinner parties organized by Dating Safari but hosted by you, but the Bar and Dinner Safaris are the best options.

It’s similar to speed dating, but there are less people and you get to go to many different venues. The Bar Safaris mean you’re never alone as you get to go with two of your friends, visit five bars and every 45 minutes a group of the opposite sex will descend on you. At the end, everyone who’s been part of it will meet up at the ‘watering hole’ bar where you can follow up on your favourite person.

Not only is it dating with minimal pressure, you also get to check out a load of cool bars in buzzing suburbs where the staff are all working in conjunction with the Safaris!

So, there’s a run-down of some sophisticated ways of meeting and greeting new people in the main cities of Australia. Sydney and Melbourne have a booming dating scene due to great night life, fun environments and the sizeable populations, but let’s not forget how utterly massive the country is! What about the people who live right in the outback or deep in the countryside? Some Aussies can literally be miles and miles away from communities, so how the hell do they date and meet new people?

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By Sophie Saint

BBM’s Top Tips For Dating As connoisseurs of the dating world, we thought it only fair to share with you some of our top tips for romancing. We didn’t earn our Lothario status accidentally, you know.

1) Be complimentary, but not a kiss arse.

“You look good today” = good. “Your radiating elegance and beauty astounds me” = forget it.

2) Don’t discuss your ex We know your confidence was knocked by the callous dumping your last partner gave you via Whatsapp, but it really won’t help in your next conquest to bring up every single one of the insecurities that you have since developed.

3) Brush your teeth We don’t mean to sound like your mother, but on that first morning after, there really is no harm in getting up ten minutes early just to make sure your morning breath is nothing but minty fresh. Trust us, it will be appreciated.

4) Do an activity If the thought of going for a drink with someone you have only just met daunts you, do something fun instead, like kayaking or abseiling. It will provide conversation and even manage to hide the dullest of personalities long enough to secure a second date!

5) Online daters - be honest!

Apologies for stating the obvious, but no potential love interest will be impressed at the arrival of a stumpy 5ft 2 male wearing a Star Wars t-shirt, when they had been led to believe that they would be meeting a strapping young rugby player with a full head of hair. So do everyone a favour and save some time by admitting straightaway that you’re a bit of a weirdo.

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ADVERTISE HERE

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TRAVEL NEW ZEALAND & FIJI

Things to do in New Zealand

SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane Wanaka Airport State Highway 6 Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

RAFTING

RANGITATA RAFTS Peel Forest RD20 South Canterbury, NZ Tel: + 64 3 696 3534 New Zealand Freephone: 0800 251 251 info@rafts.co.nz www.rafts.co.nz

JET BOATING SHOTOVER JET

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

GLACIER GUIDING FOX GLACIER GUIDING 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, NZ Ph: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

RIVER BOARDING

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

ACCOMMODATION CHRISTCHURCH

CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch, NZ Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS

BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura, NZ Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

QUEENSTOWN

AUCKLAND

BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown, NZ Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street, Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new flashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night if you mention this ad.

WELLINGTON

NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefield Street, Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night.

GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier, NZ Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

Fiji ACCOMMODATION

THINGS TO DO

BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfiji.com www.beachcomberfiji.com

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfiji.com

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fijibeachouse.com www.fijibeachouse.com

THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacific Harbour P.O.Box 416 Pacific Habour Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort.com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT * HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove.com.fj www.smugglersbeachfiji.com, Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfiji.com

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NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fijinadibayhotel.com/ NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

SKYDIVING

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

SCUBA DIVING

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING & WATERSPORTS Subsurface Fiji Adventure Diving and Watersports Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts, Fiji Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

Things to do in Australia SKYDIVING

SYDNEY SKYDIVERS 745 Picton Road, Wilton, New South Wales, Australia 2571 Ph: 1800 805 997 admin@sydneyskydivers.com.au www.sydneyskydivers.com.au SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS 1 Pathfinder Drive, Caloundra Airport, Sunshine Coast, QLD Ph: 07 5437 0211 Mob: 04 18 776 775 bookings@sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au www.sunshinecoastskydivers.com.au SOUTHERN SKYDIVERS Busselton Regional Airport, Bussleton, WA Free: 1300 449 669 skydive@southernskydivers.com.au www.southernskydivers.com.au SKYDIVE BYRON BAY Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 Ph: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351, Coffs Harbour, NSW, 2450 Ph: 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of Coffs SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Ph: 1800 800 840 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA

NINGLAOO WHALE SHARK & DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth, WA Ph: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach, 230 Sugarloaf Rd, Whitsunday Ph: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au

GHOST TOURS LANTERN GHOST TOURS Melbourne & Goldcoast Ph: 1300 390 119 www.lanternghosttours.com enquiry@lanternghosttours.com Experience the multi award winning Lantern Ghost Tours, offering small group tours of Australia’s most haunted locations.

ADVENTURE TOURS

GOIN SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.facebook.com/goinsouthtours TEMPATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg, SA, 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au A J HACKET BUNGY JUMPING McGregor Road, Smithfield, QLD, 4878 Tel: 07 4057 7188 Free: 1800 622 888 cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: 07 4946 6848 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 08 9521 545 www.mulgas.com.au SURF & SUN AUSTRALIAN ADVENTURES Ph: 1800 786 386 08 8212 0211 info@surfandsun.com.au www.surfandsun.com.au KANGAROO ISLAND ADVENTURE TOURS Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.kiadventuretours.com.au MINISTRY OF PAINTBALLING L4, 362 Kent St, Sydney, NSW, 2000 Ph:1800 646 478 Ph: 02 9262 2362 www.ministryofpaintball.com BRIDGE CLIMB SYDNEY Ph: 02 8274 7777 www.bridgeclimb.com BUNYIP TOURS 570 Flinders Street Melbourne Victoria, 3000 1300 286 947 info@bunyiptours.com www.bunyiptours.com PENRITH WHITE WATER RAFTING Ph: 02 4730 4333 booking@penrithwhitewater.com.au www.penrithwhitewater.com.au BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 , Yarra Glen, VIC, 3775 Ph: 03 9730 2422 Free: 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com.au

TRAVEL AUSTRALIA

KITE SURFING

KITESURF 1770 IKO Certified Kiteboarding school/Centre 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Wate, QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mob: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda, 3182, Melbourne, VIC Ph: 03 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

SURF SCHOOLS

MOJO SURF 2/9 Marvell St, Byron Bay, 2481, NSW Ph: 1800 113 044 reservations@mojosurf.com www.mojosurf.com GREAT OCEAN ROAD SURF TOURS 55B Surf Coast Highway, Torquay, Victoria, 3228 +61 3 5261 3730 info@gorsurftours.com.au www.gorsurftours.com.au GET WET SURF SCHOOL Ph: 1800 438 938 www.getwetsurf.com SURF SHACK Ph: 03 5155 4933 www.surfshack.com.au GO SURFING BYRON BAY Ph: 02 6685 7099 gosurfingbyronbay@gmail.com www.gosurfingbyronbay.com LETS GO SURFING Ph: 02 9365 1800 www.letsgosurfing.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA Ph: 07 5599 3800 www.surfingaustralia.com Marine Charters ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive, Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au KANGAROO MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 www.kimarineadventures.com ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: 08 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au JET SKI SAFARIS Birth 56, Jetty Sea, Mariners Cove, Waterways, QLD Ph: 07 5526 3111 Mob: 0409 754 538 info@jetskisafaris.com.au www.jetskisafaris.com.au

PARADISE JET BOATING Jetty ‘C’ Mariners Cove Marina, Seaworld Drive, Main Beach Qld 4217 Ph: 1300 JET BOAT (1300 538 262) thrills@paradisejetboating.com.au www.paradisejetboating.com.au

BIKE RIDING TOURS

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 Mob: 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

ZORB BALLS

OZ BALL GOLD COAST (TEMPORARILY CLOSED) Go Zorbing with Oz Ball.

Ph: 07 5547 6300 info@ozball.com.au www.infomaps.com.au/attractions_listings/ozball

WINE AND BEER TOURS

PRIME MINI TOURS Melrose Park, SA, 5039 Ph: 1300 667 650 info@primeminitours.com www.primeminitours.com

HIDDEN SECRET TOURS Melbourne CBD Ph: 03 9663 3358 tours@hiddensecrettours.com www.hiddensecretstours.com CARLTON & UNITED BREWERY TOUR Cnr Thompson & Nelson Streets, Abbotsford, VIC Ph:(03) 9420 6800 www.carltonbrewhouse.com.au BIG NIGHT OUT Surfers Paradise Every Wednesday and Saturday Night www.GoldCoastBackpackers.net FROG & TOAD BAR HOP Cairns Every Wednesday and Friday Night Mob: 0418 184 646 partyincairns@bigpond.com www.partyincairns.com

BOWLING

STRIKE BOWLING Nationwide Ph:1300 787453 www.strikebowling.com.au PADDO BOWLS 2 Quarry Street Paddington NSW, 2021 Ph: 02936 1150

TRANSPORT

MIGHTY CAMPERS Nationwide Ph: 1800 670 232 www.mightycampers.com.au GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL Nationwide Ph: 1800 703 357 www.greatsouthernrail.com.au TRAVELLERS AUTOBARN Nationwide Ph: 1800 674 374 www.travellers-autobarn.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION LISTINGS NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

WORLD SQUARE HOSTEL 2/640 George St, Sydney NSW 2000 (02) 9267 5616 worldsquarehostel.com.au SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) info@sydneybackpackers.com www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly Ph: (02) 9665 1214 office@clovellyhotel.com.au www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 patk@criterianhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 Free: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Free: 1800 304 660 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au OXFORD COURT ACCOMMODATION Bondi Junction Mobile 0412547840 Cafesbs@bigpond.net.au Clean, affordable and friendly backpackers.

Rooms for 1 to 4 people. Close to bus, train and shops. Rooms have TV, fridge, toaster, microwave, kitchenette, cutlery, crockery, sheets supplied. Laundry, internet and BBQ facilities. Prices range from $190 to $130 depending on the number of guests.

THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 Free: 1800 806 384 Ph: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St Woolloomooloo, NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

THE GEORGE STREET HOTEL 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Free: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph (02) 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: (02) 9660 1731 info@lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au

PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 9211 4454 info@porterhouse.com.au www.Porterhouse.com.au BIG HOSTEL Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92816030 Free: 1800 212 244 reception@bighostel.com www.bighostel.com O’MALLEY’S HOTEL 228 William Street, Kings Cross Sydney, NSW 2011 Ph: 02 9357 2211 admin@omalleyshotel.com.au www.omalleyshotel.com.au SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL 428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 Ph: (02) 9211 7323 stay@sydneycentralhostel.com.au www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au THE ROYAL HOTEL 370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: (02) 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au KANGA HOUSE BACKPACKERS 141 Victoria Street, Kings Cross, Sydney Ph: (02) 9357 7897 www.KangaHouse.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES

SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 mail@sydneybeachouse.com.au www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES

CRONULLA BEACH YHA Level 1, 40 -42 Kingsway Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph: (02) 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au HUNTER VALLEY Hunter Valley YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley, NSW Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN Backpackers Lodge 31 Lurline st Katoomba, NSW Ph: 04782 3933 stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au www.katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

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BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 Ph: (02) 6685-7663 Free: 1800 028 909 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane, Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6680 7966 Free: 1800 766 673 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road, Byron Bay, NSW Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

BASE BRISBANE UPTOWN 466 George St, Brisbane City, Qld 4000 Ph: (07) 3238 5888 Free: 1800 24 2273 uptown@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St, New Farm Brisbane QLD 4005 Ph: 0433 777 061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind.

Minimum 2 week stay BASE BRISBANE CENTRAL 308 Edward st Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: 07 3211 2433 brisbane@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com BUNK 11-21 Gipps St, Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free: 1800 682 865 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au BRISBANE CITY YHA 392 Upper Roma St, Brisbane QLD 4000 Ph: (07) 3236 1004 brisbanecity@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au

GOLDCOAST

TREKKERS BACKPACKERS 22 White Street, Goldcoast, QLD, 4215 Ph: (07) 55915616 Free : 1800 100 004 info@trekkersbackpackers.com.au www.trekkersbackpackers.com.au AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Free:1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au SURFERS PARADISE YHA AT MAIN BEACH Mariners Cove, 70 Seaworld Drive Main Beach, Surfers Paradise 4217 Ph: (07) 5571 1776 surfersparadise@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE

40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: (07) 5538 4344 Free: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com SURF N SUN Beachside Backpackers 3323 Surfers Paradise Blvd, Surfers Paradise, Gold Coast, QLD 4217 Ph: (07) 5592 2363 Free: 1800 678 194 info@surfnsun-goldcoast.com www.surfnsun-goldcoast.com SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 info@sleepinginn.com.au www.sleepinginn.com.au COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT Cnr. Beach Road and Surfers Paradise Blvd Surfers Paradise QLD 4217 Ph: +61 7 5538 8000 Toll free: 1800 074 393

res@islander.com.au

www.islander.com.au/Backpackers Coolangatta 4225 QLD Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RSRT Backpackers Resort,2837 Gold Coast Highway, Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Free: 1800 282 800 spbr@bigpond.net.au www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive, Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com www.nomadsnoosa.com

HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade, Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com www.nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770

(Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton) COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770, Queensland, 4677 Ph: (07) 4974 7660 Free: 1800 227 660 wheeler_danny@hotmail.com www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (Backpackers) 2694 Round Hill Rd Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water QLD 4677 Ph: 07 4974 7200 enquiries@1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS CAIRNS SHARE HOUSE 17 Scott Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: (+617) 4041 1875 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Ph: (07) 4041 6566 Free: 1800 556 995 reservations@gilligans.com.au www.gilligans.com.au NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade, Cairns, QLD 4870 Ph: 07 4031 7477 Free: 1800 175 716 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com www.nomadshostels.com DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.)

Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph: (07) 4031 6753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Ph - (07) 4051 7642 Free- 1800 666 336 jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au www.jjsbackpackers.com

MISSION BEACH ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS 28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8317 Free: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach, QLD, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

WHITSUNDAYS BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage, Whitsundays, QLD Ph: +61 7 4946 9400 Free: 1800 075 125 longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH AIRLIE BEACH YHA 394 Shute Harbour Road Airlie Beach QLD Phone: (07) 4946 6312 Free:1800 247 251 airliebeach@yha.com.au www.yha.com.au MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd, Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: (07) 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free: 1800 624 634 travel@magnums.com.au www.magnums.com.au

CAPE TRIBULATION

PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Cape Tribulation Road (PMB 7) Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, QLD Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

Jewell House 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce, Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St, Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

COTTESLOE

MONKEY MIA

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS Cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com

PERTH

RAINBOW LODGE 150 Claisebrook Rd Perth, WA (Have just moved around the corner) Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St,West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA ACCOMMODATION

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 24 Nutwood Crescent, Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 or 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

BROOME

BEACHES OF BROOME 4 Sanctuary Road, Cable Beach, Broome, WA, 6725 Ph : 1300 881 031 bookings@beachesofbroome.com.au www.beachesofbroome.com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA

REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St, Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

GREAT OCEAN ROAD

JOHANNA BEACH COTTAGES 225 Blue Johanna Road Johanna Heights Victoria 3238 (03) 5237 4224 cottages@johannabeach.com www.johannabeach.com

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, VictoriaPh: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE

EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street , Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au BACK OF CHAPEL 50 Green St, Windsor Prahran, Vic 3181 Ph: 03 9521 5338 www.backofchapel.com NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street, Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com $5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au The Spencer Backpackers 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS 450 Elizabeth Street, Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au

INDEPENDENT & BUDGET TRAVELER ACCOMMODATION PROVIDER Victoria Hall Accommodation 380 Russell Street, Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall. com.au

ST. KILDA

ALICE SPRINGS

JACKSON APARTMENTS 80 Ikerman St ,St Kilda Beach Ph:0433 118 334 or 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20! FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply

ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue, Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE

APOLLO BAY

APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au ECO BEACH YHA ECO-HOSTEL 5 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay 3233 Ph: (+613) 5237 7899 apollobay@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Clean, quiet and relaxing Eco-Hostel. Cosy fire in winter. DVD’s available to borrow from reception.

HALLS GAP

GRAMPIANS YHA ECO-HOSTEL Corner Grampians and Buckler Roads Halls Gap 3381 Ph: (+613) 5356 4544 grampians@yhavic.org.au www.yha.com.au Eco accredited. Solar powered. Herb garden, free range chooks and friendly local kangaroos

NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN

ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St, Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street, North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com ADELAIDE SHAKESPEARE INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street, Adelaide SA, 5000 Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

SAVE MONEY & PAY NO COMMISSION

BY BOOKING DIRECT ON ALL YOUR TRAVEL ACCOMMODATION & ACTIVITIES! TO LIST YOUR BUSINESS CALL or EMAIL BBM NOW

02 8005 8162 marketing@what-media.com

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RECRUITMENT NEWS

HOW TO VOLUNTEER ABROAD

Interview Horror Stories

Here’s some useful information on how to volunteer abroad, and make your time out that little more rewarding.

Alright, so you’re keen on the thought of volunteering or developing new skills in your gap year? Now comes the tricky part: picking which project to get involved with. Fortunately, the internet is a treasure trove of companies that offer all kinds of ventures.

Unfortunately, you have to be aware that you need to choose carefully lest you end up with something that isn’t right for you. Or even worse; you pay through the nose for an experience that hardly seems to contribute to the cause, leaving you feeling exploited.

Research, research, research! Get it clear in your head what you want to get out from it and make sure you know what cause you feel the strongest about.

Read as many recommendations as you can and chat to any friends who’ve had amazing experiences volunteering abroad to see if they have any words of wisdom.

TravellersConnected.com is a useful social networking site

that contains contacts around the world that are ready to share advice on any travel/gap year question.

And if you’ve just finished studying GapAdvice.org and GapYear.com are great for independent travel information, research, ideas and contacts for a plethora of countries including Australia, Thailand and Peru.

By Sophie Saint

With a rough idea of where you want to go and what you want to do, you’re free to get stuck in and see which companies offer what programs. It can be daunting picking a company, but look at their code of practice for terms and conditions, ethical code and support system. See if they have case studies that allow you to see how they are directly contributing to the charity/community and it’s great if they can connect you with returned volunteers so you can discuss their experience.

Here are few well-trusted organisations that will hook you up with a great experience: - Charitable communities are on offer with Thai Dragonfly where you can build and educate throughout Thailand (www.dragonflycommunity.org) - In Thailand and South Africa you can work in animal welfare or teach English while learning Spanish in Chile with Oyster (www.oysterworldwide.com) - Global Vision has a huge range available; from community, wildlife, marine and rainforest conservations. They also do projects and volunteer holidays… or why not attend a dolphin conservation project in Kenya? (www.gvi.co.uk) - Changing Worlds (www.changingworlds.co.uk) has a spread of opportunities over more than 15 countries.

Volunteer with orphans in Honduras whilst learning Spanish for a once in a lifetime opportunity.

- Action Aid (www.actionaid.org.uk/adventures) focuses on community building in Asia and Africa. Amazing challenges where you’ll meet and work with the people you’re raising money for.

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So many ideas and possibilities, but there is the small thing of payment. These experiences don’t come for free. “But I’m helping a charity! Working for free!

I’m volunteering my own sweat and time, so why should I be paying to help them?!” We hear you cry.

It is aggravating that charity work in these awesome places comes at a price, but bear in mind that you’re not paying for the privilege; you are helping to fund the projects future and subsidise your living costs, training and in some cases health and travel insurance. But do get clarification about what is provided in the program that you choose.

Fancy an alternative to animals and hard labour?

Want to return home with a new language in your brain, or return with extra experience under your belt for a teaching-related future? Well, why not teach English abroad! It’s an incredibly popular choice amongst travellers. Being a native English speaker abroad is sometimes the only ‘qualification’ you need as some countries in Asia can do on-site training then launch you into a class. Teaching English demands a keen individual who is keen at communicating and has a good grip of the English language. Schools actually prefer it if you don’t speak the local language as this will force more learning and communication for the pupils. Previous experience isn’t necessary and with this being a paid gig, you can make your travels last longer as living costs in Asia are exceptionally reasonable. In fact, most of the time it’s cheaper to eat out every night rather than go to the supermarket and rent will leave you gobsmacked at how low the prices can be.

The most commonly requested qualification is a completed Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL) course (www.tefl.com). Anyone can do it and you can either complete it at home before you leave, on the road or online! TEFL is an internationally recognised teaching certificate and is everything you need to start your teaching adventure abroad. Online training and teaching experiences are available in China, Thailand, Cambodia, South Africa, and many more places. Some courses will even cover food and accommodation and you could earn up to £2,000 per month. Language Courses Abroad (www. languagesabroad.co.uk) runs language schools in Latin America and Asia, plus you can talk to experienced language travel advisors prior to your trip. Other great sites for teaching experiences include Travellers Worldwide (www.travellersworldwide.com) and Africa & Asia Venture (www.aventure.co.uk). They offer courses that span between £2,000-£3,000 to get you ready to teach, and also hook you up with placements in various locations.

Korea and China have a huge abundance of teaching opportunities, so when you get over there it is literally a matter of time before finding a job. Bring travel insurance, enthusiasm and be ready for hard work, but it’ll be worth it, as you’ll gain a huge amount of transferable skills!

The current economic climate means job interviews are becoming increasingly more challenging and employers are going out of their way to take potential employees completely out of their comfort zone during job interviews. Here are some of the best job interview stories that may make you think twice before entering the work force...

I think urinal lot of trouble…

I woke up late after a heavy night and quickly got ready for my job interview that was in an hour. Upon arrival, it was going well, except in my rush I didn’t have time for my morning piss. I had to excuse myself and go in search of the toilets. I opened a door that looked like one of the bathroom variety, but it was actually a cleaning cupboard. The door shut behind me and I was locked in and literally about to wet myself! I started frantically banging on the door in the hope that someone would save me. After a couple of minutes I couldn’t wait any longer; and last nights beers started flowing freely as I sighed in relief. Mid-flow, the interviewer opened the door. It seems my door banging did attract their attention, they were just looking for the caretaker. After I’d finished...I left red-faced and never heard back from them again.

Thinking outside the box…

I have been having real problems getting on the career ladder, it appears that I look good on paper, but when the employers meet me, they immediately change their mind about me. At a recent job interview they asked the question: “What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths?” This was an easy one. I told them my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what’s real from what’s not. He interjected saying: “And your strengths?” To which I replied: “I’m Batman.”

I was flushed with success…

I recently had an interview for an Au Pair position. I went to the house and was greeted by the single parent father. Feeling nervous, I asked to use his bathroom so I could compose myself. I sat on the loo and unfortunately for me, all hell collapsed out of my bowels and I blocked the bog. When I looked in my handbag and spotted my sandwich bag, the only logical thing for me to do was to fish out the poo and put it in there. I returned to the dining room, completed the interview, and was told I’d be emailed his decision. I left the house, but was horrified to realise I hadn’t put the bag of poo in my handbag, and it was still sitting on the basin in the bathroom! I received an email from the father later, explaining that, obviously, I hadn’t got the job... Damn you fajita poo, damn you to hell!

Temp & Semi Perm Staff Wanted Nationally Hospitality / Promotions / Tele-Sales / Face to Face / Admin / Child Care / Recruitment email your cv and a brief cover letter telling us a bit about yourself to info@what-media.com

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MIGRATION NEWS

457 Visa

One of the most common options for working holiday visa holders to extend their time in Australia is to find an employer to sponsor them on the temporary 457 visa.

There are over 30,000 approved employer sponsors and over 100,000 457 visa holders in Australia today.

125,000 new 457 visa applications have been made each year for the last two years, of which UK, Irish and Indian passport holders make up 50%.

Visa processing usually only takes a matter of weeks, making the 457 visa a fast track way to get settled into the Australian lifestyle. Many 457 visa holders go on to become permanent residents of Australia.

So, how does it all work?

There are three stages to the process and they have to be completed in order; you can’t apply for the visa before the employer has done their part.

It pays to check that each of these parts will stack up, before making any application to immigration; a good migration agent can help you assess this.

1. Employers have to be, or apply to immigration to become, an approved sponsor 2. The employer then needs to make a ‘nomination’ application to get the job (occupation) approved for the employee to fill.

3. The employee then applies for the 457 visa To be approved as a sponsor, an employer has to show that they are either spending money training their Australian staff or willing to pay a training levy to an industry fund such as a TAFE college. The training levy is a great option for Sole Traders.

For the Nomination, the job on offer needs to match up with the duties of an occupation on the government’s Consolidated Skilled Occupation List (CSOL). This list has 600 occupations including all the major trades along with hundreds of professions such as medical, engineering, marketing, HR, sales, customer service and more. See http:// www.immi.gov.au/skilled/general-skilled-migration/ consolidated-sponsored-occupation-list.htm The job has to be full time and the employer must offer a ‘market salary’ above $53,900 per year.

Shift allowances and other guaranteed payments

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can be counted towards the salary but overtime or superannuation payments can’t be counted towards meeting this minimum pay rate.

The visa applicant needs to have the skills to do the job; this is shown by either having qualifcations or work experience relevant to the job offered.

For trade occupations this means either having the equivalent of an Australian AQF certificate III, which is a UK NVQ 3 or Irish FETAC level 6-7 cert.

If you don’t have a formal qualification, at least three years full time experience in the occupation can be accepted, but you will need strong proof of the work history.

For many of the other professions, a degree-level qualification or at least five years’ work experience is needed. There are a few non-trade occupations that need only Diploma level or three years’ experience.

If you are lucky, your employer is already an approved sponsor, and only parts two and three are needed and can be completed pretty quickly if you and your employer are organised.

So if all three of these parts are looking good, you are ready to prepare and lodge your applications.

Allow enough time to get all the documents ready; you need to make sure everything is lodged with immigration before your current visa expires.

The costs, following two fees rises this year for the 457 visa, are: Employer Sponsorship application: $420 of which one fee covers a three-year approval.

Employer Nomination application: $330 for each new employee.

Employee 457 visa application: $1,035 per adult (so double if you have a partner on the application).

And be aware, that on 1st July 2013 Immigration also introduced a nasty fee called the Subsequent Temporary Application Charge or ‘STAC’ for short.

This STAC fee applies if you have already had a temporary visa granted while in Australia (eg your second WHV) and you apply for another temporary visa while you are in Australia.

The STAC fee is $700 per visa applicant.

Some tips on finding a sponsoring employer • Focus your job search on non-government roles – government bodies rarely sponsor.

• Approach employers directly rather than through agencies.

• Call anyone you know that might help with an introduction to an employer • Get involved in local sports, social or business networks as these are great ways to meet people.

• At the job interview stage, ask if the employer is willing to/open to/has sponsored before.

• Many employers want employees to work a probationary period before they will commit to sponsorship, this means you might need 2-3 months to prove yourself.

• If the employer is not willing to sponsor, better not to waste your valuable working holiday visa time with them - keep looking.

By John Mc Quaid

What Job Will Keep Me In Australia?

So you’re looking for a way to stay in Australia and getting a straight forward 457 Sponsorship or 2nd year working holiday visa is proving a little more difficult than planned. In an effort to help the British and Irish population to escape the cold weather, low wages and long working hours, we’ve decided to put together a monthly migration section to bring you upto date info on the latest jobs on the SOL (Skilled Occupation List), info on changes to visas requirments and tips and tricks that will help you secure the all important long stay visa or Permanent Visa.

Here’s some of the jobs that will help you get that visa and keep you in the sunshine!

Veterinarian Electrical Engineer Quantity Surveyor Landscape Architect Secondary School Teacher Special Needs Teacher Occupational Health and Safety Advisor Nurse Midwife Social Worker Automotive Electrician Locksmith Stonemason Carpenter & Joiner Glazier Roof Plumber Glass Fitter Taxation Accountant Accountant (General) Solicitor Paediatrician Chemical Engineer Forester Software Engineer Welder Locksmith Electrician Dental Hygienist Boat Builder Lift Mechanic Clinical Psychologist Dermatologist Dentist Plant Engineer Sonographer Optometrist Surgeon (General) ICT Business Analyst Project Builder Child Care Centre Manager Chemical Engineer Taxation Accountant Internal Auditor Ship’s Master Civil Engineer Early Childhood (Pre-Primary School) Teacher Chiropractor

NB: This skills list is subject to change without notice. At the time of writing the text was correct.

John McQuaid, Director of Arrive Australia, talks through how you can live in Australia as a skilled worker on the temporary 457 visa.

Originally from Northern Ireland, McQuaid has been in Australia since the early 90s and now lives in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs, so he knows a thing or two about the old migrations business...

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