BBM Magazine Issue 602 by bbmlive.com

CONTENTS ISSUE 602

The Cover

Review

AMY LOOKS FOR WEED - 6 Wino has taken up gardening, for some ridiculous reason. The thought of Amy pruning her bush grosses BBM out.

JUST GO WITH IT - 16 Only Adam Sandler can convince a company to f nance a f lm where he gets to travel to Hawaii with two hot women.

Regulars

Interview

Sport

DURAN DURAN - 10 Their fans may be older but their new album is pretty timeless, thanks to Mark Ronson. BBM catches up with Roger Taylor; *squeals*

NOT SO FAN-TASTIC - 80 Osama Bin Laden, Hitler, David Cameronâ&#x20AC;Ś BBM takes a look at famous football fans who shame their clubs.

6 10 14 16 20 22 28 30 32 34 42 44 56 60 64 68 70 70 72 82

| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |

GOSSIP INTERVIEWS WRAP REVIEWS SOAPS UK NEWS IRISH NEWS WORLD NEWS SYDNEY MELBOURNE PERTH QUEENSLAND RECRUITMENT CLASSIFIEDS HOSTEL LISTINGS CRYSTAL BALLS ASK CRYSTAL JOKES SCOREBOARD SPORT

BBM MANAGING DIRECTOR John McMahon

john.mcmahon@what-media.com

EDITOR Ben Harlum

ben.harlum@what-media.com

SPORTS EDITOR Richard Gadsby

richard.gadsby@what-media.com

ONLINE EDITOR Hannah Shakir

hannah.shakir@what-media.com

CONTRIBUTORS Jeremy Williams, David Mahoney, Deborah Jackson, Maddie Daniels, Alex Berwick, Hannah Beesley, Vanessa Higgins, Lorna Evio, Alexandra McIntyre, Ashley Moore, David Drummond, Sian Gammie, Alen Delic, Robin Lewis and James Stapleton INTERNS Jaymes Peckham, Holger Synowzik and Allyson Taubenheim HEAD DESIGNER Kylie Howard

design@what-media.com

WEB DEVELOPERS Jess Comber, Luke Webber

12 PO Box 784 Queen Victoria Building NSW 1230

P: (02) 8231 7700 F: (02) 9299 4966

TWITTER: @bbmmagazine

W: www.bbmlive.com E: info@what-media.com

FACEBOOK: /bbmmagazine

ADVERTISING: tom.shakir@what-media.com

SUBSCRIPTIONS: isubscribe.com.au

ADVERTISING AND MARKETING COORDINATOR Mary Atkin ADVERTISING Joe Smith

joe.smith@what-media.com

Donna Parry Dave Hudson James Marsh ADVERTISING & PROMOTIONS MANAGER Tom Shakir SALES AND MARKETING DIRECTOR Guchi Shakir PRINTED BY Spotpress

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

GOSSIP

WE all know Russell Brand’s a conf dent sort of chap, what with his f agrant taste in clothing and his colourful personality, but most of all his barnet shows that he is afraid of no man.

BLACK SWAN’S BLACK CON THOSE of you who saw Black Swan probably fell into two categories of opinion; you either thought the cinematography and acting was absolutely spiff ng, or you just enjoyed the part where Natalie Portman lezzed off with Mila Kunis. (Our favourite part obviously. Check out the photo, we just saved you $18). However, Portman’s body double is trying to detract from her Oscar-winning success by claiming that she did 95% of the dancing and stunts in the f lm, and that only 5% of it was Natalie. The jealous cow mooed; “They wanted to create this idea in people’s minds that Natalie was some kind of prodigy, gifted in dance and really worked so hard to make herself a ballerina in a year and a half for the movie, basically because of the Oscar.” The Hollywood studio behind Black Swan swiftly issued a statement denying the claims. “Natalie herself did most of the dancing featured in the f nal f lm.” Either way, sadly we still don’t really care about the dancing, just the good old spaff-making moments. Oh, stop scoff ng at us - we know we’re disgusting.

Wonder if BBM could get a part in a f lm for the hair on our arses… perhaps a remake of Gorillas in the Mist?

SOMETIMES, we wish Robert Pattinson would just fuck off. He’s bloody boring and seems to be responsible for this vampire hell that we’ve all begrudgingly suffered (clearly we’re Team Jacob).

IN promising news for us all, the divorce from Katie Price has hit Alex Reid so hard that one of them has contemplated suicide.

But nonetheless we digress. The insipid fanny twitcher recently spoke out about wanting babies, followed by a load of conf icting rubbish saying how he doesn’t wish to talk about his private life.

Unfortunately it’s the lesser of two evils, Alex, who has had the grizzly thoughts.

“I’m not interested in casual relationships, I need to know people,” continuing, “I want a family, with two or three kids. I really wish I could talk to animals (pictured) more than to people who think they know me just from my movies. My private life is off limits, I don’t talk about my relationships with female friends, not to mention how I don’t talk about my relationship with Kristen Stewart.” But you just did.

AMY’S NEW GREEN HABIT IT has been somewhat well documented that Amy Winehouse does enjoy a bit of greenery, but it would appear that she’s now turning her attentions to a more legal kind of foliage, and has become and avid gardener. A source commented that Wino (pictured) has apparently been getting tips from Alan Titmarsh books, saying that “She’s f nding it therapeutic. She has been reading Alan’s gardening tips as she didn’t have a clue where to start. But she’s learning quickly and is fast turning her garden into a haven.” We’re pretty sure she’s only learning about gardening so she can start a massive weed farm. Probably explains why she’s been spotted at the hardware store buying f uorescent lamps. You can’t fool us Amy!

Commenting on his lustrous locks, the comedian has admitted, “I am easily f attered and acceptable to f attery so if someone goes, ‘Russell, we really want you to make this f lm because you’ve got such great hair’, I go, ‘Come on, show me the script’.”

Such a shame, BBM could f nally use the special obituary issue we’ve had ready for the last f ve years.

DERMOT O’Leary has reemerged after his giant ego was popped thanks to the American TV bosses who said no to him hosting their X-Factor. And who would’ve thought, he has actaully had a genuis thought - hire Lily Allen to replace Simon Cowell as judge. Brilliant! The second-rate Davina McCall said “I don’t think we need a nasty judge. I think we need an alpha, but an alpha could be anyone. I’d love Lily Allen to be sat in Simon’s chair.” BBM approves of this casting decision, as long as Lily is boozed up before f lming.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

5HGĂ&#x20AC;RRU VHU 'UXP 0HGLD SUHVHQWV

Proudly P dly ssupporting upp pportingg

The Black Dog Institute t t

The The

KORA Vasco Era C.W Stoneking & & His His Primitive Primitive Horn Horn Orchestra Orchestra

The Bamboos Space Invadas

Custom Kings Resin Dogs Papa Vs Pretty Eagle & The Worm

Chase Chase The The Sun Sun Claude C l a u d e Hay Hay

Zoe K & The Shadow Katz Sticky Fingers Lanie Lane Cheap Fakes The Wildes The Firemen Silent Disco Blackest D i rtt y York Y ork k Blackest Sabbath Sabbath Dirty Bonjah Nga iki Electric Elect ic Band B j h Ngariki

FULL FU ULL WEEKEND ND T TICKE TICKET CKEET Including Inclu uding n g camping p g $$130 ava availablee via the web website. bsite bsite. (until sold out of course!) !)

Bowen Lucky Bo owen & The The Luck Lucky ucky Dutchmen Dutchme Dutchmen

www.thegumball.com.au g

GOSSIP

OH, Rihanna. When will you learn? The “singer” has now agreed to the restraining order against Chris Brown being lifted.

THE little bong-toting, snatchf ashing, daughter of someone actually famous has offered herself in a Celebrity Death Match with Justin Bieber and that foulmouthed Rebecca Black.

I guess it makes sense, he’s been acting so sane and calm lately. That window must’ve done something to deserve it. The kinky S & M loving diva says she just didn’t want to make things diff cult for Brown professionally; he manages that on his own anyway.

ceremonies where his ex is but he can’t annoy, molest or harass her. Right. So smacking her in the face is ok?

“We don’t have to talk again ever in my life,” said Rihanna (pictured) as she checked over her shoulder, “I just didn’t want to make it more diff cult for him professionally.”

“I like to be spanked,” she told Rolling Stone, “Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous.”

The new order states that Brown can attend

We can see where Chris got confused.

PARIS Hilton and Kim Kardashian are bestest buds. Or so they lead us to believe. As it makes a great difference to BBM’s life we’d really like to get to the bottom of it ASAP.

imitate what I do, but I am the original. There is nothing like me.”

It seems Paris has got her knickers in a knot over Kim stealing her gimmick. April Fools, Paris doesn’t wear underpants.

Between the sex-tapes and the dog in her handbag, she really has covered all bases. “She thinks she’s all that. But she’s like not even,” said KK as she stuck her f ngers down her throat.

“There’s so many people out there who try to

Miley Cyrus goes hardcore? We can’t wait. Cyrus ripped on everyone’s favourite YouTube sensations saying, “It should be harder to be an artist. You shouldn’t just be able to put a song on YouTube and go out on tour.” Yeah, tell that to 2Girls1Cup. Their tour has seen nothing but delays. “I love those sick bitches,” said Bieber.

“Pfft,” said Barbie.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

INTERVIEW all you need is

It’s been twenty-one years since Simon LeBon’s ex-girlfriend convinced Nick Rhodes, John, Andy and Roger Taylor (not related, of course) that he would be the best vocalist for their band. Thirteen albums and fourty-f ve singles later, and the band are still going strong - without Andy but with a new album, produced by Mark Ronson. BEN HARLUM was as excited as a... well, girl at a Duran Duran concert when he caught up with Roger Taylor (who, as he notes, was in the same hotel that Russell Crowe threw a phone at the receptionist).

N A R U D N A R DU

It’s been about ten years since the original members got back together. Does it even feel like you left the band? It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve been in the band about twice as long this time as I was the f rst. You’re right, at times it doesn’t really feel like I left but it’s just so different to how it was in the 80’s. When you returned, there were a bunch of songs now on the setlist that you hadn’t played before. What was it like going back to learn these tracks? It was really tough, actually. It took a lot of time and practice because some of the people they brought in were amazing drummers. It’s one thing to go back to your own back catalogue but now you have to learn how other people were playing these tracks. As you know, Andy left around three years ago, so we have a guy called Dom Brown playing with us and it’s a very cohesive unit. I think this album is really about the live experience and it’s been very refreshing. Is there one track, whether it’s from the new album or the back catalogue, that you wish received more love than it currently does? There’s a couple of songs on the Astronaut album that I think are pretty great, Point of No Return has kind of been forgotten. Maybe we’ll resurrect the album one of these days, but we have so many songs that we can revisit; it’s quite incredible. Usually there’s a big argument before the show, whether we should play Hungry Like the Wolf or Rio, Sunrise or Ordinary World… It’s a great problem to have, we almost have a queue of songs waiting to get back on the setlist; one of which is New Moon on Monday at the moment. Finally, what was The Ref ex exactly? [laughs] That’s a very good question! You should be asking Simon, but I think it’s whatever you want it to mean. I was just talking the other day about the poetic, abstract lyrics that seem to be coming back. It went very much out of fashion in the 1990’s because everything became about realism but now it’s back in. I think that’s why so many people like the new album, because you have tracks like The Man who Stole a Leopard, which actually sounds like it could’ve been on the Rio album.

Duran Duran’s new album, All You Need Is Now, is available in stores through Shock Records. For the extended interview with Roger, visit bbmlive.com

COMPETITIONS THE Stanton Warriors have been drawing from a bottomless well of broken beat goodness for their new album, The Warriors. BBM has f ve copies of the record to give away.

CHINESE Laundry is going back to its roots with another garden party featuring one of the few DJ’s on the scene that truly represents a style of his own, Danny Howells - and we have tickets to give away!

SHARE your concert memories for your chance to win one of f ve double passes to see Hugh Cornwell in the city of your choice.

TO ENTER ANY OF THESE COMPS, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM 10

BBM has three double passes to see the Godfather of Noyze, globally recognised as the best beatboxer of all time, Rahzel, live at the Espy in Melbourne. Good luck!

COMPETITIONS.HTML BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

the break you’ve been looking for Adecco is currently seeking 10 reliable, experienced telesales professionals to work in Sydney’s beautiful North Shore. If you have a natural passion for getting on the phone, developing quick relationships and making money fast, call us NOW! How will you stand out from the rest: · Previous outbound telesales experience · Professional & committed · Bubbly & confident personality · Dedication to turn sales into commissions · Exceptional communication skills · A ‘can do’ attitude · Team spirit and a zest for life! What you will get: · Immediate on-going work · Competitive hourly rate + commission · Fun, friendly team environment · Recognition & reward for your success · Great location, close to shops and North Shore train line · A chance to make new friendships & travelling companions To apply you must be committed to at least 3-6 months. If this sounds like the break you’ve been looking for, contact Briana Cowell from Adecco on (02) 9242 3207 or email briana.cowell@adecco.com.au quoting ref: BBM

adecco.com.au

INTERVIEW LANIE LANE

“I can’t speak right now , I am still asleep from the f ight!” Lanie Lan e is exhausted. Since her debut single What Do I Do was released at the end of 2010, Lane has been non-sto p touring. While currently making her way around Australia as support for Justin Townes-Earle, it is apparent that the hotlytipped Australian is look ing forward to seeing how 2011 will pan out... “I just recorded my f rst album which is ver y exciting. That was ove r two days, so we did it rea lly quickly. We recorded it in a great way that I was really happy with, so we will release that in a couple of months. I am going to release another sing le in a couple of weeks, so April I guess it will be out. Then just lots more touring .” The softly spoken Lan e

may be tired beyond belief, but her nervous girly giggle is never far awa y in conversation.

With Irish songstress Imelda May bringing the rockabilly sounds bac k the masses, it would be eas y to stick Lane in the sam e bracket. However, mu sical classif cation is never as easy as 1,2,3. Even Lane stru ggles to quantify exactly wha t she does, “I would say it is a bit of a mix of blues, cou ntry, rockabilly, old time roc k and roll. It is all that and other elements. There is also some kind of Cub an sound, not f amenco. It all seems to blend in tog ether, I am not sure how but it seems to work. It me shes together really well.” Lanie Lane plays the Gum Ball Festival on April 29 and 30. Photo and Intervie w by Jeremy Williams.

INTERVIEW You’d think that, after two successful seasons of Survivor, it would inevitable for ‘Evil’ Russell Hantz to make it to the end again. Wrong! The sock-burning, water-dumping oil tycoon was the second voted off Survivor: Redemption Island and BEN HARLUM caught up with him after the episode aired. I bet you weren’t expecting to be the second person out of the game... That was pretty rough. I went in thinking that I could go all the way, and if Julie would’ve f ipped her vote I guarantee that I would’ve made it to the end again. If they wouldn’t have thrown the challenge we would’ve been up by three, then if we kept winning I’d still be there! Even if they lose a couple of challenges down the line, I would’ve had my plan in place by then and one of the weaker members of the tribe would’ve been voted off. [My Tribe] throwing that challenge, I think it’s the worst decision in Survivor history. But surely that’s the same as burning socks and dumping water back in Samoa? I didn’t burn their socks to manipulate them, I did it to control how they felt. I’ve never done anything to manipulate my tribemates, everything I’ve done has been strategic. Throwing the challenge? When you’re only up by two members? Is that strategic?!

The crying once you were eliminated, was it genuine or was there strategy to try and get your third fan favourite vote? When I left the game, I was upset for a bunch of reasons; I couldn’t protect Krista and Stephanie anymore, I felt like I let everybody down - Jeff, the camera crew, my kids, who think I’m Superman who always makes it to the end, my family, everybody. It was overwhelming and it was the f rst time my kids saw me cry, watching it back on TV. I don’t cry to get fan favourite, even though I’m still probably going to get it [laughs]. Do you still think the game is f awed? It has been f awed for the past f ve seasons. Natalie from Samoa is one of my best friends but really, Natalie winning Survivor? I asked one of the jury members, Monica, whether I could’ve gone to the end without Natalie? Of course I could’ve. Could Natalie go to the end without me? Of course not! That makes sense! In Heroes vs. Villains, they were so bitter because they had gotten their butts kicked by someone they didn’t know. If Rob happens to win this game, I’ll be the f rst to shake his hand. Survivor: Redemption Island airs Tuesday nights on GO! (Channel 99). For more with Russell and an interview with Francessca, f rst eliminated, visit bbmlive.com/survivor.html

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

THE WRAP WITH their album fast approaching gold sales, Gypsy And The Cat will embark on their f rst national tour in support of their current single, Jona Vark. Some of the dates include: Adelaide: The Gov, May 6th Perth: Capitol, May 7th Melbourne: Palace, May 13th Brisbane: Hi-Fi Bar, May 14th Sydney: Metro Theatre, May 20

WEEKEND WEEKS IN TOTAL BOX EARNINGS RELEASE OFFICE

FILM

1 2 3

RED RIDING HOOD

$2.2

RANGO

$1.9

LIMITLESS

$1.8

1 2 3

LIMITLESS

£2

SECRET PASSAGE

£1

THE EAGLE

£1

1 2 3

WIMPY KID 2

$24

SUCKER PUNCH

$19

LIMITLESS

$15

$41

A U S T R A L I A

T H E U K

A M E R I C A

$ IN MILLIONS

KERI Hilson is the f nal addition to Supafest. She joins Snoop Dogg, Nelly, Timbaland, T-Pain, Busta Rhymes, Taio Cruz and countless others. Fans will be treated to over nine hours of live music by some of the biggest urban artists. Sydney: ANZ Stadium, April 9th Perth: Joondalup Arena, April 10th Brisbane: Showgrounds, April 16th Melbourne: Showgrounds, April 17th Visit bbmlive.com for a ticket giveaway!

HIGHEST WEEKS IN POSITION RELEASE

MUSIC

1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3

LAST WEEK

JENNIFER LOPEZ

ON THE FLOOR PRICE TAG

JESSIE J

SNOOP DOGG

SWEAT

ADELE

NICOLE SCHERZINGER

DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH

JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH

BLACK EYED PEAS

KATY PERRY & KANYE WEST

RIHANNA

CEE LO GREEN

SOMEONE LIKE YOU

E.T

S&M

FUCK YOU

A U S T R A L I A

T H E U K

A M E R I C A

OVER a decade, Jason Ryder has amassed a huge catalogue of live comedy, f lm and television credits.

FOR THE LATEST MUSIC NEWS VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/MUSIC-NEWS NOW! ...YES, RIGHT NOW.

In the live comedy arena, Jason is one of Australia’s most experienced performers, featuring in all of Australia’s top live comedy venues. This time he’ll be joined by Gary Eck and Trevor Crook. When: Saturday April 16th, 8 & 10pm Where: Happy Endings Comedy Club Cost: $15

ON BBMLIVE.COM THIS WEEK WE LOVE JAPAN “In order to help raise funds for those affected by the devastating earthquake, several designers have contributed specially-designed items to the Colette boutique available online. 100 percent of the proceeds of the sales of these products will be directly donated to the Japanese Red Cross Society.”

COMPETITION HOPMAN ALCOHOL REMOVED PREMIUM BEER GIVEAWAY

THERE’S now a beverage on the market that looks, smells and most importantly tastes like a premium imported beer, yet it contains half the calories of full-strength beer – welcome Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale. Whether you’re looking to reduce your alcohol consumption or simply enjoy the taste of beer (but don’t want to be under the inf uence of alcohol), Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale is the perfect solution. It allows you to feel part of the occasion, but eliminates the carb consumption and promises a clear head the next morning.

responsibly’ and concern about health and weight, as evidenced by the growing popularity of low carb beers. To celebrate the launch of Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale, we have two cases to giveaway to one lucky BBM reader - see if you can taste the difference!

Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale is available in a convenient four-pack from Woolworths, Dan Murphy’s, Franklins, Jim’s Cellars and selected IGA stores nationally. The recommended retail price is $7.99 for a four-pack. For more information, visit their website at www.hopmanbrewing.com.au

As a nation of beer drinkers it’s typical for Aussies to have a beer in hand at most, if not all, social events but things are changing. There is an increasing focus on ‘drinking

TO ENTER THIS COMPETITION, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM COMPETITIONS.HTML 14

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

REVIEWS JUST GO WITH IT CAST

Adam Sandler Jennifer Aniston

DIRECTORRELEASED

George Nolf

RATING

Now

(Happy Gilmore)

In Cinemas (M)

YOU’D think things would be disastrous when the rom-com world f nally caught up to Adam Sandler. Surprisingly enough, it’s quite the opposite.

hijinks and end up in Hawaii but if you were Sandler, you’d ensure your f lms were made in paradise too.

Enter Jennifer Aniston, who channels her inner-Rachel with a fun role that, I’ll admit, made me forget about Angelina Jolie once the bikini scenes lit up the screen.

It’s not Billy Madison, but sixteen years later you can’t rely on accents and poop jokes (unless you’re the child actors in the f lm). Instead, Just Go With It is a genuinely funny, entertaining hybrid that’s worth checking out. Ben Harlum

The script is well written because it doesn’t seem forced, the dialogue Sandler is a nice guy scumbag (stay between Aniston and Sandler is with me...) who uses a fake wedding really natural and actually funny. ring to attract the ladies. Naturally, And, plus, you even get an excuse to dislike / laugh at Nicole Kidman, his dream girl wants his ex-wife’s so everyone wins! permission before they can date.

Of course, the cast get into crazy

KATY BUSHER RELEASED

SINGLE

Broken Record

RATING

Digitally

THE f rst few releases from Katy B were very much keeping in trend with the pop zeitgeist but her latest release, Broken Record, takes shape in a different form. Standard four on the f oor house beat and electronic stabs, overlaid by Katy B’s vunerable nuance-free vocal delivery quickly give way to the track’s crowning achievement - a throwback to late 90’s dance.

The chorus is laden with 90’s dance sensibilites, with just a hint of the early Prodigy’s rhythmical complexities. It would be easy to say that the track therefore lends itself well to the name but it’s a broken record you haven’t heard in a very long time. Though hardly a classic, Broken Record is a worthy addition to the Katy B songbook. It’s simple, catchy and, although too brief y, takes you back to those happy days when pop / dance music was just that little bit less pretentious. James Stapleton

AFTER the initial heart f utter and dazed eyes, a few unknown tracks from his new album lost people for a while. In fact, if it weren’t for the beautiful female dancers at this stage, I may have been completely bored. However, the moves of Usher can only be praised - wow, he can move! Communicating with the audience, Usher tells us that his

RATING

Now

DVD & BR (M)

FILM

Another Green World

RELEASED

This is one of the best casts assembled for a f lm. The story is helped by the fun performances

You can tell the cast are having a blast (literally, too) making the f lm and that will increase your enjoyment level as you watch. It’s Mirren who steals the show though, as the sexiest f lm heroine all year. Move over, Megan Fox. That’s right, I said it, deal with it. BH

RATING

April 1st - 4th

Melbourne’s ACMI

from everyone involved - the introductory scenes of Willis and Mary-Louise Parker are hilarious.

C’MON, surely Helen Mirren (stone cold fox that she is) shooting guns is more than enough reason to see Red...

This man brings the best of many legends to life – the dancing of Michael Jackson; cheese of Boyz II Men; and seduction skills of Barry White; whilst also being a great singer and producer. Usher has a lot going for him right now, has proved his worth and this man will continue to have girls screaming at his concerts for years to come. Aideen McDonald

BRIAN ENO

DIRECTORRELEASED

Bruce Willis Robert Schwentke Helen Mirren (Flightplan)

RATING

Acer Arena, Sydney love of music; passion to perform and dedication to dance is all down to one man. What follows is nothing short of an incredible dedication to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

RED

CAST

VENUE

DATE

Thursday, March 24th

Now

given his ingenuity, the latter is inf nitely interesting.

BRIAN Eno is without any doubt one of the world’s most successful and intelligent musicians. A surprisingly reserved individual, this BBC documentary never really examines Brian Eno: the man, but rather focuses on Brian Eno: the musician and theorist. However,

A humble fellow, Eno talks openly about his approach and his achievements. His astute mind and open approach make for insightful viewing, however, the relaxed journalistic approach leaves the documentary open ended. More a celebratory observation than informative lesson, Eno keeps most of his musical ingredients well guarded. Jeremy Williams

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

PHOTOS

AGWA BOAT PARTY

LEFTFIELD

FOALS

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SOAPS CORONATION ST.

JACK and Vera’s grandson arrives in the street, but is set for disappointment when he sets his sights on winning the affections of Sian. Meanwhile Steve is pushed to the limit this week with Becky, Tracy and his mother Liz all on his back, but when Liz’s former husband offers to buy the pub, will Steve and Becky

take the money and leave? Elsewhere, Audrey gets a shock after Marc calls her to ask for help, while Tommy is set to cause more trouble when he and Tina go for a drink whilst Graeme spends time with Xin. However Graeme later accuses Tina of falling into bed with Tommy.

EastEnders SOME secrets are revealed this becomes clear that dealing week, as Michael Moon admits with the death of her own child that he is the biological father is too much for her to keep in to the “late” Tommy. Roxy is any longer. Will the truth f nally understanding, knowing full emerge? well that she too has skeletons in her closet. Elsewhere, Syed and Tanya set up a makeshift salon at her Later in the week, Ronnie’s house, but what will Roxy do family and friends are shocked when she f nds out her staff are and worried to discover that competing with her behind her she’s done a runner as it back?

An over-protective Paul learns that Rachel has been visiting Monastery Avenue, and puts a ban on Rachel visiting the Bishop household. Rachel decides that she wants to get something nice for Niamh for Mother’s Day, but Paul’s suspicions are aroused by Rachel’s attempt to raise money. In the end, Paul and Niamh decide it’s time to lay off Rachel... for a while. TO READ ALL THE LATEST GOSSIP BEFORE IT HITS THE MAGAZINE, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/GOSSIP

|▲

HOLLYOAKS +

THIS week sees Gilly go on trial for allegedly raping Jacqui. As two surprise witnesses take the stand, no one knows whether Gilly really did it or not. With two separate endings being f lmed, the actors themselves do not know whether Gilly will be headed off to jail a rapist, or whether he’ll walk a free man.

Gilly later comes to a lifechanging decision as he awaits the verdict. Ruby’s upset when Ricky dumps her and, in an attempt to get her own back, plants some weed in his school bag which gets found by a teacher. Meanwhile, Cindy decides to play cupid between Noah and Ste this week, but will the pair get together?

Emmerdale THINGS are looking even planning to leave Nicola for her, worse for Jimmy and Nicola’s and shows him their “wedding marriage this week, when Kelly vows”, but will vulnerable tells him that they have a son Jimmy fall for scheming Kylie’s together. When he sees her ways? with a little boy, it’s clear his interest is piqued. Elsewhere, Cain is put out when Debbie asks Cameron Knowing what another child to move in with her, while will mean to Jimmy, Nicola desperate Alicia wants to worries about whether he give little Jacob the perfect will fall for Kelly. Meanwhile, birthday, stealing from her Kelly sinks her teeth in further sister Leyla’s shop, but will and tells Jimmy that he was Leyla f nd out? BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

IT’S YOUR PLACE Sydney’s largest specialist FURNISHED accommodation agent. We cater for singles, couples, friends and groups seeking their own ﬂats and houses.

CALL NOW ON 02 8669 3678 TO ORGANISE A FREE PROPERTY VIEWING OR Go to WWW.FURNISHEDPROPERTY.COM.AU for more furnished rooms and ﬂats across Sydney.

ELIZABETH BAY GUEST BONDI BEACH GUEST HOUSE SINGLE ROOMS 1 HOUSE 1 MONTH MONTH MINIMUM STAY MINIMUM STAY What

This property has a great social atmosphere with a large rooftop to enjoy the Sydney sun. Relax in the evening with a BBQ with your new friends. Where Elizabeth Bay Road, Elizabeth Bay. Cost Single rooms from $180 pp/pw.

What

SYDNEY CENTRAL GUEST HOUSE 1 MONTH MINIMUM STAY

FURNISHED STUDIO/ONE BEDROOM FLATS HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED SO YOU CAN JUST MOVE STRAIGHT IN.

FURNISHED TWO/THREE BEDROOM FLATS SYDNEY’S BEST LOCATIONS

EXECUTIVE ONE/TWO/ THREE BEDROOM FLATS STROLL FROM SYDNEY’S CBD AND HARBOUR

Room with views and an amazing rooftop deck right on Bondi Beach. BBQ, sun bake, surf or just relax! Where Campbell Parade, Bondi Beach. Cost Double or Twin from $150 pp/pw (Single rooms from $240 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases.

What

This superb guesthouse has generous sized bedrooms all with ensuite bathrooms, TV, fridges and more. Building has new kitchen with top of the range applicants and BBQ for alfresco dining. Where South Dowling Street, Surry Hills. Cost Double or Twin from $150 pp/pw (Single rooms from $280 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases.

What Our two/three bedroom range includes functional flats What which include all the required furniture and amenities All the flats are furnished to a high standard including to ensure you have a great stay. dining tables and superior lounge room fit outs. Where Sydney CBD, Inner West, Eastern Sydney, Bondi Where Sydney CBD, Inner West, Eastern Suburbs, Sydney, Where Junction, Bondi and Coogee Beach. Bondi Junction, Bondi and Coogee Beach. Cost Cost From $160 pp/pw (4-6 share). Cost Double or Twin from $170 pp/pw Negotiable for 6 month leases. (Single Studios from $320 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases. What

CENTRAL RAILWAY APARTMENTS Central Railway Apartments centrally located in Chalmers Street 600m from Central Railway Station.

Executive apartments within walking distance of Sydney’s CBD. Apartments feature top of the range Italian furnishings, street frontage over looking parks and a panoramic view of the city. Sydney CBD. One bed from $250 pp/pw. Two & Three bed from $200 pp/pw (4-6 share) Negotiable for 6 month leases.

$99 Per Night (SLEEPS UP TO 4 PEOPLE)

1 WEEK $560 P/W 2 WEEKS $500 P/W 3 WEEKS $450 P/W 4 WEEKS $420 P/W 1 MONTH + $375 P/W

A ROOM OR FLAT FOR EVERY BUDGET CALL NOW ON 02 8669 3678 to register for a property inspection go to WWW.FURNISHEDPROPERTY.COM.AU

UK NEWS HOLE LOTTA LUCK A MASHED-UP factory worker is lucky to be alive after being pushed through a f ve-inch gap during an accident at work. BBM knows for a fact that Alex Reid and Peter Andre have gone through similar experiences – although Jordan’s gash is believed to be around seven inches wide these days.

“I still don’t know how I didn’t die,” said the Barnsley contortionist. “As the machine dragged me through I just relaxed because I knew I couldn’t do anything and I thought that was the end for me.”

Matt Lowe had his back broken in two places, his pelvis shattered, both hips and several ribs fractured and his stomach and bowel ruptured after being pushed through a hole the size of a

In all, he spent a month in hospital and had to have six operations to pin his broken limbs back together again. On the plus side, he can now get in and out of his house through the letterbox.

A HOUSE in Wales has become famous for ‘looking’ like Hitler – despite the fact it clearly looks nothing like him.

CD case. At least he didn’t pick up crabs like Alex and Peter.

Charli Dickenson posted a Twitpic of the property, saying: “I’ve found Hitler reincarnated” and, on a slow news day, several major UK papers picked up the story. As for as we remember, Hitler never had windows where his mouth should be but we’ll let you decide for yourself (see picture below).

WHAT CAME FIRST? THE CHICKEN OR LADY GAGA? A CAMBRIDGE woman has discovered the chicken equivalent of Lady Gaga after studying one of her hens and realising she might have a secret cock on her hands. Jeanette Howard raised a suspicious eyebrow when egg-laying Gertie the hen suddenly sprouted a red comb and chin wattle – and started crowing at dawn. When the hen then started ripping off old Madonna songs and wearing meat dresses she knew something was up. “I bought three chickens a year ago and they

HOUSE IS A HIT

The last reported house that looked like someone famous was a large bungalow in Crewe that resembled Kerry Katona. It later turned out to be the actual Kerry Katona.

were all laying eggs for me until the end of the year,” said Jeanette. “Then one day I heard this crowing noise and I thought ‘Where’s that coming from?’ I looked into the garden at Gertie and I saw it was coming from her… or him.” She has since been reassured by vets that the hen is f ne — but that damage to her ovaries could have caused Gertie to develop male characteristics. Experts say sex changes can affect one in 10,000 animals. Like Clare Balding.

BBM is used to bitches stealing all our money, and it turns out we’re not alone. Apparently British dog owners are being f eeced to the tune of around £33 million pounds a year by their canine companions – as a result of pooches chewing up their shit and running off with expensive household items. Apparently, a whopping 74 per cent of pet lovers reported that their dog regularly nicked their knickers. Cheryl Cole might want to check BBM’s eBay prof le to f nd out the real culprit.

GEORDIE knobhead Clayton Bennett has staked a claim for worst wedding photographer in history. Not only is he so shit that he’s been sued by several couples who were left fuming by his ineptness – he’s also run off with one of the brides. The 50-year-old snap-happy shagger ran off with Mark Fry’s bride Rose-Ellen six months after taking their wedding snaps. They later married and pregnant Rose-Ellen now works as a nude model. Sounds like he’s snared himself a real classy lady.

Think you’re funny and could write stories for BBM? Why not give it a go? We’re always on the look-out for talented contributors. Email us at info@what-media.com 22

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

Call us on

1300freespirit migration@freespirit.com.au

Let us complete the

Migration puzzle for you

Put your Visa in safe hands ENS Permanent Residency

457 Business Visa

Skilled Migration

Partner Visa

Speak with our migration specialists today about how we can help you extend your time in Australia www.freespirit.com.au

0$51

UK NEWS SACKED FOR TEABAGGING HE was once hailed as a hero for tackling an armed robber at the Co-op store he worked in, but now James Alden has been f red from that same store – for using the wrong tea bags. What a bastard.

to make tea in the staff canteen. The cuppa-loving loose cannon was given a warning for the “offence” and was then sacked for another warning for not logging estimated ages of people over 25 buying cigarettes and booze. Hanging’s too good for him.

The 47-year-old maverick took the posho Twinings Lady Grey bags instead of the Co-op store’s shittyown Fairtrade brand from the shop f oor

“I’m f abbergasted,” said the crazy hotshot. “I’ve been a model employee, never late or off sick in 11 years.”

E-MALE IDIOTS EVER had a lewd and lurid email conversation with a friend or colleague about a girl at work (say, for a totally random example, BBM’s head designer)?

SQUIRREL’S CRAPPY DAY

“I was concerned it was going to jump out and bite me,”

“The audience was the most fragrant we have ever played to although it was slightly unnerving to see row upon row of bowed heads instead of applauding human beings,” said the orchestra’s conductor, Benjamin Pope.

NOTHING shames us more than a Brit with a fetish for cow shit. Except Jordan, obviously.

The email has now gone viral and the boys have been suspended from their jobs. Reports that they have been hired by Sky Sports to replace Andy Gray and Richard Keys are unconf rmed.

But British businessman Duncan Goose was a tad

The performance was an experiment to see if music helped the various bulbs and flowers grow. It is thought to be the first time a concert has been organised for plants since Pete Doherty agreed to play at The Dog and Hammer in Kensington for half an ounce of weed and a couple of mushrooms.

POO TO YOU

Marsh, who lives with Palmer and used to go out with her, admitted she’s “a looker” and told him to “go for it” but also warned she is “a fucking twat” – before forwarding the message on to Palmer.

surprised when he went for a crap in his hotel room in Malawi and found that the bloke before him hadn’t f ushed – after shitting out a live squirrel.

THE Royal Philharmonic Orchestra targeted a new demographic this week after playing a three-hour recital in Cadogan Hall - to hundreds of plants.

Scientists also discovered that the audience still had a higher average IQ than fans at a Justin Bieber concert.

Fulham toffs Harry Fildes, 25, and posh pal Sebastian Marsh, 24, certainly have – because they accidentally emailed their conversation to Jenni Palmer, the girl in question, after Seb said he was going to “have a crack” at her to give him something to do in “the summer months”.

IF watching the DVD extras of Anchorman has taught BBM anything, it’s that it’s possible to “poop” many things – like a hammer, or a Cornish game hen.

BRANCHING OUT

said Goose. “So I put the lid back down and left it for a minute as I wasn’t sure what to do.” Of course the squirrel could have just climbed into the toilet and got stuck but we prefer our side of the story.

Dragging our good name through the crap is David Truscott who was found naked and beating off while smeared in crap and wearing one sock. Is it just us who f nd the single sock the most disturbing part? According to the poor sod who found him he was also surrounded by tissues. Between the sock and the tissues we can only assume he didn’t want to get spoof on his hands. Yeah, cause that’d be fucking disgusting.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

UK NEWS MARSHMELLOW MAN FROM GHOSTBUSTERS HAVING A WANK

WHO YA GONNA CALL? DEREK ACORAH IN the least-convincing evidence of supernatural activity we’ve seen since Derek Acorah on Most Haunted, a woman from Coventry has posted a video of a poltergeist in her house. Basically a wardrobe door opens and a chair, who’s legs you can’t see, moves around the room. A bit. “Your home is meant to be a safe place but ours isn’ t,” said the slightly deluded Lisa Manning while watching Ghostbusters. “I have to sit with my daughter when she goes to the toilet or has a bath as she’s to afraid to go on her own.” Surprise, surprise, the man himself, Derek Acorah, couldn’t help but get in on the act - especially when he heard The Sun we’re doing an article on it. With the aid of his trusty spirit guide (imaginary friend) “Sam”, Acorah discovered that an evil spirit called Jim was haunting the site and banished it back to the netherworld by barking like a dog and feeling up Yvette Fielding in the dark. Or something. Manning claims she was told by a psychic that her house is a portal between this realm and the next. And yet the house’s previous tenants had no problems at all. Spooky.

BUNKING UP BRITAIN’S economy might be up the shitter but it’s boom time for truantloving school kids. If years of reading the Beano has taught us anything it’s that bunking off school usually resulted in a damn-good slipper spanking from a generic ‘dad’ figure. Well forget all that because now pa rents are actively encouraging their children to mortgage their future with record numbers of families taking holidays during term-time to cash in on cheaper holidays. Last year the number of absences for unauthorised breaks was up 13 per cent on the year before. Schools minister Nick Gibb said: “Children who are absent for substantial parts of their education fall behind their peers and can struggle to catch up.” Good luck with that argument Nick. We’ll see how it stacks up against “Who wants to ditch school and go to Disneyland?”

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

IRISH NEWS HE SAYS IT BEST, WHEN HE SAYS N0THING AT ALL RONAN Keating’s making stuff up again, although this time he’s not covering up the fact that he’s shagging one of his backing dancers behind his wife’s back. Instead Ronan’s dropped Ryan Tubridy in the poo by saying the pair are good pals and that’s why the Late Late Show host didn’t grill him about his shagging around – even though that’s the only reason people tuned in. RTE promoted the interview as Keating’s “f rst major television interview since his marriage diff culties last year” and claimed “everything” about the singer’s private life would be “on the table”. So when there was no

mention of Ronan sticking his cock in another woman, viewers were a tad miffed. “Ryan and I are friends,” the singer said afterwards. “He was good to me on Friday. We spoke before the interview about how it was going to go.” As a ‘professional’ journalist, Tubridy was none too happy with the suggestion that he went easy on Ronan because they were mates so in a bold display of authority-stamping, he cowered behind an RTE statement.

YOU CAN’T CHEAT DATE PICKY bitch Annemarie McBrearty has lost her attempt to sue the owner of a dating agency for “fraudulent misrepresentation”.

RONAN CHEATING: Boyzone singer Ronan Keating, above, and Ryan Tubridy, below.

“Suggestions that Ronan and Ryan came to an agreement over content of the interview because they are friends are totally inaccurate,” said a faceless TV executive.

TROUSER SNAKES ON A PLANE WE love an excuse to write about our favourite story of last year, so we bid a hearty ‘welcome back’ to radio DJ Neil Prendeville. Prendeville returned to the airwaves on Cork’s 96FM this week after an absence of more than f ve months. The reason he was gone so long? He was on a f ight from Heathrow to Cork when he got his cock out and started knocking one out in front of passengers and staff. “I do appreciate all of those kind messages and support. I also acknowledge that there will be an amount of people who would not be in support,” Prendeville told listeners, possibly while beating one off under his desk.

POSTMAN PAT AND HIS BLACK AND WHITE JACKPOT TIGHTARSE postie Pat Broderick has gone straight back to work despite scooping a 7m-euro Lotto jackpot last week.

“It was always our (family’s) ages. That’s what I did every time. I changed the numbers whenever their ages changed.”

Pat, his wife Mary and their four children scooped half of last Saturday’s 14m-euro jackpot, with no one having claimed the other half so far.

Is it just us, or is the whole point of playing the lottery the chance to win enough money so you don’t have to work anymore? You’re a freak Pat and we’re not going to write about you anymore.

“I play the Lotto every single week,” Pat explained.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

McBrearty went on four dates with the Happy Matchmaker agency and was less than impressed with each of them. But far from being a Deuce Bigalow series of freaks with tourettes or a penis where there nose should be, the blokes’ crimes against dating included ‘being a bit shy’ and ‘appearing desperate’. McBrearty, of County Donegal, also said one bloke tried to kiss her in a car park while another was unmannerly. Oh the horror! But Judge Kevin Kilrane dismissed the claim for 6,348.99 euros, ruling that there was no evidence to suggest the men were sexual predators and that all appeared within her range of compatibility. Come on Annemarie, just do what every other desperate woman does to get a man – get pissed and let some ugly bald bloke shag you behind the toilets. It worked for Kate Middleton.

GOOD COD BAD COD FISHY goings off in Dublin this week with no less than 21 takeaways, f shmongers and restaurants caught out trying to con customers. A survey by the Food Safety Authority of Ireland found that three-quarters of smoked f sh it tested was labelled as the wrong species – with cheaper pollock, hake, smelt and haddock frequently used to replace the more valuable and scarce cod. We hope the FSAI come down hard on these arse-soles. They eely need to be put in their plaice.

WORLD NEWS FORGET hiding a nail f le in a birthday cake or shoving a blade up your arse (that’s just for fun). In news that puts Shawshank to shame is this gem from Cape May County Correctional Centre. Two inmates have been charged after receiving drawings from their young children. Although they were very lovely and not one had coloured outside the lines, the guards felt they were inappropriate as the paint used was laced with drugs. Now that’s inventive. A prescription drug designed to treat opioid addiction was turned into paste and then painted onto the drawings. “In my 38 years of law enforcement, I’ve never seen anything like this,” Sheriff Schaffer said, “I love scratch and sniff!”

MAMMA MIA!

SOME criminals are so sly, while some just have the munchies.

up the phone. Fucking genius.

Here’s a tip; if you’re going to rob a pizza delivery driver, it’s probably best to end the phone call before you hatch the plan. You know, just in case they hear you and send a cop wearing a Domino’s uniform. It was all over for petty criminal Kevon Whitf eld and his 14-year-old sidekick when their plans to rob a pizza delivery driver were overheard after they forgot to hang

BBM is usually mistaken as an expert on binge drinking. If anything, we’re fringe drinkers; when we’re so desperate for alcohol that we suck our fringe to drink what’s left of the Bacardi Breezer our ex threw at us a couple of days ago. But we are well and truly impressed at the new craze hitting Germany, where girls use tampons soaked in vodka to get drunk quickly and hide the smell.

The boys scrapped the plan in the end and just snatched the pizza and ran. Then they got arrested. Again, genius. BBM is so jealous. When we tried this trick, we found out they put pineapple on our meatlovers and had to take it back. Incompetent twats.

Police have denied that it was an effective way to get drunk, especially for boys who have been using tampons anally. There’s nothing fun about getting drunk and shoving stuff up your arse. Just ask Richard Gere and this little guy...

If any story needed padding out, it’s this one.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS

BBM has always believed in giving credit where credit’s due. That’s why we’re here to commend Melissa Willis for not doing drugs in front of her kid.

The impromptu babysitter called child services after the mother didn’t return for several hours. “After I’d smacked him around a bit and taken some photos I just got bored,” said the neighbour, “so I called the cops to take him away.”

Well done. She dumped the kid at a stranger’s house for two days instead. Oh dear. Police have conf rmed that the caring mother knocked on a random door in her apartment block, told the stranger her car needed repairs, left the kid and went to get high for the weekend.

FINE, we admit it. Sometimes we love Americans.

Personally we think this mother is a disgrace. A child should stay with you at all times. Otherwise who’s going to hold the lighter under the spoon when your arms are tired?

Everyone thought Louis Garrett was a little weird at f rst. Then he explained that he only starting making the sexy snuggy after he began dressing his mannequin collection in lingerie. Oh yeah, and his nickname is Shovelhead. No, really.

We guess that’s why they call him Shovelhead. Wink wink. Wait. We don’t get it.

So BBM wasn’t surprised that tourists f ying into America are taking extreme measures to avoid excess luggage fees. Swallowing nearly four pounds of heroin may be a bit too extreme.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

IMAGINE relaxing in the living room with a brew and a jammy dodger when all of a sudden a naked man falls through your ceiling, along with a load of insulation and plaster. This became a reality for Kaliegh Townsend when a man, who had been hiding from the police in a crawl space, didn’t realise how f imsy the ceiling was.

What we don’t understand though, and what there seems to be no explanation of, is why he was naked.

BBM was surprised this week to hear about the man who has been charged with exposing himself, and playing with his genitals, in the men’s department of an American K-Mart store. Normally the cocks are over at Coles. The man was questioned by police, and could not give police a reason of why he took part in a very different ‘blue light special’.

For a simple man he’s quite specif c about his needs, “No polyester. I don’t want those cheap, dollar-store, not-sexy, farm-girl panties,” he demanded, “I want classy - silk or nylon. You know, sexy. Victoria’s Secret.”

THE cost of living is just ridiculous these days. The price of food is at ridiculous levels and Electricity is about to go up again; it’s no wonder Josef Fritzl kept his daughter without food in an unpowered basement.

Luckily he managed to run away, but was soon taken to hospital with serious injuries. Remember kids, not all bears are like Yogi, Baloo, and Paddington.

He then cheekily asked for a pair of shorts to hide his modesty. Townsend refused, so he stole her jacket and ran out of the house. However he was shortly arrested. But hey, don’t go looking for it on eBay (we’ve already tried). Shovelhead is quite sentimental when it comes to panties and vowed never to sell it as he has personal relationships with most of the women who give him their knickers.

Some sick genius in Missouri is embarking on a very personal project. He’s making a quilt out of women’s underwear. Brilliant!

FUNDSDALEN turned out to not be so much fun for a 12-year-old boy when he fell into a cave whilst skiing and was mauled by hibernating bear.

He is due in court on Wednesday. If convicted, he could get six months in jail and be f ned up to $1,000.

He was taken to hospital and X-Rays showed pellets in his abdomen. Okenwa eventually excreted 88 pellets containing 3.75 pounds of heroin. Okenwa, originally from Nigeria, claimed that he was simply trying to sell the drugs in order to help his country’s fallen prince, who urgently needed money. He isn’t lying, BBM received an email from the prince just last week.

SYDNEY WHAT’S ON

We Love Americans ATTENTION Americans: Free beer & free cover, just for being you! Wear your best American f ag G-string and get to the Forbes Hotel on April 16th for the We Love Americans party. That’s right, upon arrival you get a free beer and free cover, just for being American! All you need to do is bring some ID, or, clearly, dress like Uncle Sam.

Luna Park

Not American? Well, if you love Americans as much as we do, all you need to do is dress in red, white, and blue or something else American. Or, if you have a great American accent - you’re in!

FOR the month of April, you can buy Unlimited Rides Passes online for only $30 (or $35 at Luna Park’s Ticket Box), a saving of up to $15 per person!

When: Saturday, April 16th Where: Forbes Hotel, Sydney RSVP: we_love@live.com.au

The Luna Park Unlimited Rides Pass lets you go on as many rides as you like, as many times as you like, all day! Best of all, entry is free. And don’t forget about The Deck - a restaurant and bar at Luna Park with some of the best views in Sydney. They have some great specials including half price paella on Wednesday nights - $15, with $5 Coronas and $15 jugs of sangria. Where: Luna Park, Milsons Point When: All of April

NOBODY can tell a story like William Shatner. Join the man himself for one, mad, glorious evening, packed with anecdotes, lessons learned and pearls of wisdom. For one night only Shatner offers listeners the remarkable, full story of his life and explains how he got to be, well, everywhere. When: Tuesday, April 5th Where: State Theatre Cost: From $119

CANADIAN singer/songwriter, Dallas Green, will be making his highly anticipated return to Australian shores for his f rst headlining City And Colour tour. Best known as the singer/guitarist for Alexisonf re, Green has created the play-on-words moniker of City (Dallas) And Colour (Green) – his acoustic/ alternative/mellow rock side project. When: Tuesday, April 5th Where: Enmore Theatre Cost: $63

THIS SATURDAY kicks off Sydney Roller Derby League’s amazing third season of women’s f at track roller derby. The Hordern Pavilion will play host to SRDL’s f rst home bouts of the 2011 season: Derby Proof, a double header that will once again show Sydney why roller derby is the fastest growing women’s sport in the world. When: Saturday, April 2nd Where: Hordern Pavilion Cost: $20

AFTER completely selling out all eleven dates on their national Dark Storm tour in November 2010, performing to packed out tents at The Falls Music and Arts Festival and Peats Ridge over the New Year’s period, and seeing their latest EP,Dark Storm, wind up in the Top 10 iTunes charts all around the world, you’d think The Jezabels would be pretty darn happy with things right now. When: Friday, April 8th Where: Metro Theatre Cost: $20

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

MELBOURNE NEWS NOT SUCH A SUPER STUNT A DARLEY boy has been questioned by police after videos surfaced of him crashing his road bike through the doors of a supermarket. The boy says his plan went south when the electric doors of the supermarket began to automatically close halfway through his ride of faith. His reasoning? He wanted to gain fame on YouTube and ultimately get paid by them as they pay the generators of highly accessed videos with their partnership program. After getting caught, the boy apologised,

called his stunt ‘stupid’ and said he would never do it again. Well no shit, what is he supposed to say, “I’m going to do it again next week!”? Of course he says he won’t do it again but BBM believes the childmolester-defence style isn’t going to work this time. Sources conf rm that his trial is set for “Friday, Friday, Friday”, well that may not be true, but both Rebecca Black and Bikeboy are prime examples of why everyone should not be able to access YouTube and reap its benefts.

PEARL OF WISDOM PEARL JAM front man Eddie Vedder is furious over a local council policy that is set to ban children from making sidewalk drawings with chalk in Nunawading. NNo really. Eddie said that he cannot help much with the Earthquakes and other disasters but this article caught his eye. Now I know what you are all thinking right now, and we’re thinking the same thing. This article contains two of the most asinine statements in the history of mankind. One, a council is going to ban kids from sidewalk chalk drawings. And two Eddie Vedder claims that he cannot help with the Earthquake or other disasters. What do you mean Eddie? You’re in Pearl Jam you arsehole how can you not help the earthquake or other disasters? Take a page out of the Foo Fighters itinerary and play a benef t concert.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

MELBOURNE WHAT’S ON

THE SCRIPT’S live show has all the emotion and passion you would expect from the Irish rockers; it is music for the feet, heart and head that is universal in its epic addictiveness. Of their live appeal guitarist Mark Sheehan says: “There is something about the way a voice encapsulates a person. The way Danny sings, the raw emotion, when you hear it in front of you, you cannot deny the power.”

When: Tuesday, April 5th Where: Festival Hall Cost: From $65

KICK back after work and enjoy a free gig with The Holidays and Strange Talk at Fed Square Live. Featuring a mix of top independent acts and emerging talent, these all-ages gigs will feature indie rock, dance, blues and roots to tantalise all tastes. When: Thursday, April 7th Where: Federation Square

THE Alternative Arizonian rockers, Jimmy Eat World, will be headlining shows at select Australian capital cities, performing music from their new album Invented. When: Sunday, April 10th Where: Trak Showroom Cost: $66 MUCH loved Irish troubadour Luka Bloom is a master of the concert stage. His gifted electro-acoustic guitar playing guarantees an impassioned live performance of his original, poetic songs. When: Tuesday, April 5th Where: National Theatre

GRAB your sweetheart, your fedora, and a great zoot suit because it’s time hit the dance f oor when the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies return to Melbourne. When: Saturday, April 9th Where: Corner Hotel Cost: $49

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

Bimbo Deluxe Lucky Coq

NHJ INVERTO (LIVE) KODIAK KID RAF KORMAN UONE SILVERSIX AGENT 86 DJ WHO SPACEY SPACE COOKIE CRAIG MCWHINNEY JAMIE STEVENS PHATO-AMANO ZAC DEPETRO PAKMAN BOOSHANK MR MOONSHINE STEVE WARD THANKYOU CITY (LIVE) LEWIS CAN CUT VINCE PEACH BEN TELFORD HEY SAM JACOB NOLAN MISS BUTT KATIE DROVER JOYBOT MUSKA DANTRXX DANNI B ULTIMUS MAXIMUS DJ PREQUEL TEY ASTRO MATTY RUSS MR GEORGE THE PSYDE PROJECTS (LIVE) TOM MEAGHER MIKE CALLANDER TIGERFUNK (LIVE) JIMI DANGER V AGREN CUMBIA COSMONAUTS (LIVE) ANDRAS FOX SHANE COPAL ASH-LEE SUNSHINE PAZ VOLTA CHRISTIAN VANCE (LIVE) JULIAN LOVE JUMBO JUNJI & HARRY MATT RADOVICH TAHL PHIL RANSOM FREYA MY FRIEND SAMUEL JOHN DOE (VADIM) ANRI ADAM ASKEW TAVISH PETER BAKER KITI KY SNYDER

MELBOURNE

MELBOURNE’S DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS LOSE YOURSELF IN THE HIDDEN LANEWAYS OF MELBOURNE

The best of Melbourne is undoubtedly hidden in the narrow enclaves where mainstream culture takes a backseat and boutiques, galleries, tiny cafés and hidden bars take precedent. If you take a wander down the alleys, you will f nd walls covered in stencil work, lightboxes, graff ti art, and sculptures right next to hole-in-the-wall cafes and shops. These lanes bustle with activity and creativity both day and night, so they’re perfect to venture down and get lost in for a few hours. Both locals and travelers agree, uncovering the hidden reserves and the charming, intimate atmosphere that is off the beaten track makes roaming around the city exciting, even for the most seasoned Melbourne explorer.

STOP AND STARE

Causeway Lane is an open alley lined with small shops and cafés where you can f nd great eats, from the enchantment of French-style patisserie Laurent to lunch time favourite Sushi Monger and even hole-in-the-wall Guavabean. Manchester Lane can be found by going through the Capital Arcade and along Swanston Street.

Fittingly, the word Manchester is used in British and Australian English to describe soft household goods, such as sheets and towels; and this laneway once contained shops for tailors, hat makers and clothing outf tters. The alley is still home to several clothing shops today, such as Claude, Maus, Plane, Jealousy, and more. Scott Alley runs between Flinders Lane and Flinders Street. This special nook caters to the hip young things with shops such as Lady Petrova and Miss Lau.

COFFEE WALK AND ARTIST TALK

If you are looking for a caféstyle crowd, simply use your nose. The espresso scent f ows through the lanes of Degraves Street, Centre Place and Hardware Lane. Degraves Street is f lled with outdoor seating for cafes lining the alley. Stop for a latte at Degraves Espresso, named one of the top ten coffee houses in the city by The Age. (CONTINUED ON PAGE 40)

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

THE ESPY & JOINT ADVENTURE PRESENT

WORL

NOA.1T BE

BOXER

WORL

MEMBER

OF THE LEGENDARY R

OCKSTEADY CREW

NO.1

FREE

STYLE

THE WORLD'S GREATEST FREESTYLE MC, THE WORLD'S GREATEST BEATBOXER & ONE OF THE WORLD’S BEST TURNTABLIST/PRODUCERS JOINING FORCES!

TIX $38+BF FROM ESPY.COM.AU, OZTIX 1300 762 545, THE ESPY BOTTLESHOP AND ALL OZTIX OUTLETS

MELBOURNE Centre Place is almost certainly the most photographed laneway in Melbourne. Not only will you will f nd some of Melbourne’s smallest coffee houses here but also a number of famous European graff ti artworks. Just before entering, turn left into a short dead-end alley and have a look at the street art on the walls left by many artists.

GET INTO THE ART

In Melbourne, art galleries don’t come any more communal. Hosier Lane is Melbourne’s stencil and street art playing f eld. Messages on walls range from the politically bizarre to the inspiring and breathtaking. All along this lane, as well as many others, art is colourful, creative, and full of vigour. Annual art commissions transform many laneways into these intriguing spaces for artistic exploration.

MUSIC

The jazz scene thrives along Bennetts Lane, as it has hosted some of the world’s biggest jazz acts and a plethora of local talents as well. Renamed in memory of one of Australia’s most successful musical exports and where AC/DC started their career, ACDC Lane is home to a great, authentic rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere, and one of the best bars around, Cherry Bar. Just between Swanston and

Elizabeth streets lies Dame Edna Place. This laneway is well worth the visit, and is a great photo op for fans of the Great Dame of Moonee Ponds.

CHINATOWN

Little shops along Little Bourke Street have grown to become the Chinatown of Melbourne today.

Right next to Celestial Avenue is the birthplace of Chinatown and home of Supper Inn, a delicious Cantonese-style eatery. Full of exotic f avors, Market Lane boasts the acclaimed Flower Drum, a rock ‘n’ roll themed music venue Ding Dong, the German restaurant Hofbrauhaus, and the lovely Korean Palace.

FROM RED LIGHT, TO GREEN

Rumour has it that laneways of Melbourne used to offer more than just romance. Liverpool Street was home to the ladies of the night, while the gentlemen of the evenings shacked up on Crossley Street. However, today, these streets are home to more decent affairs. Liverpool Street is now known for the Asian eateries, Longrain, Little Malaysia, and Laska Me. Crossley has traded in the gentlemen of the night for a history rich bar and eatery, Von Haus, as well as an array of shopping joints, such as Glitzern, Blonde Venus and De Mille.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

3>11:4;A?1 backpacker MELBOURNE .com.au

w >11 ) w %182 /-@1>5:3 75@/41: w $;;2@;< 3->01: w # 2-/585@51? w !:?5@1 8-A:0>E w &( 8;A:31 w ";;8 @-.81 w : 4;A?1 @>-B18 01?7

Greenhouse bike tour

MON

4am start, worth it!

Where we stayed, amazing!

>11 .>1-72-?@ >11:4;A?1 13- )-875:3 @;A> 05?/;B1> @41 45001: @>1-?A>1? ;2 ;A> /5@E

TUE

>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 >;;2@;< # ;> <-?@- 05::1> -@ [<9 IB131@->5-:? /-@1>10 2;>J

WED

>11 >1-72-?@ 5/E/81 @;A> ;2 18.;A>:1p? <->7? -:0 >5B1>? I?181/@10 )10:1?0-E? 0A>5:3 ?A991>J

THU

53 >1-72-?@ ?-A?-31? .-/;: .-710 .1-:? _Z <A. />-C8 @;A> X 2-9;A? 18.;A>:1 <A.? -:0 31@ - 2>11 0>5:7 -@ 1-/4 B1:A1

FRI

>11 .>1-72-?@ A>5:3 @41 ?1-?;: /;91 C-@/4 - 2;;@E 3-91 C5@4 A? I -> %1<J &1?@ E;A> 7:;C81031 -@ @>5B5-

SAT

>11 .>1-72-?@ A>5:3 @41 ?1-?;: /;91 C-@/4 - 2;;@E 3-91 C5@4 A? I -> %1<J &>E E;A> 8A/7 -@ 5:3;

SUN

>11 <-:/-71 .>1-72-?@ ;: ?811< 5: %A:0-E? A>5:3 @41 ?1-?;: /;91 C-@/4 - 2;;@E 3-91 C5@4 A? I -> %1<J

Level 6, 228 Flinders Lane, Melbourne, VIC 3000

FREECALL: 1800 249 207 T +61 (0)3 9639 6400 F +61 (0)3 9639 6900 E greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au

AWARDED â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;BEST BACKPACKER ACCOMMODATIONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Bragging Rights

PERTH WHAT’S ON

KNOWN as the Godfather of Noyze, and globally recognised as the best beatboxer of all time, Rahzel will be in WA to stun the audience with his precise performance of a song’s beat, but with his mouth.

WELL, it seems as though the Paddys have invaded Perth this week. Tommy Tiernan will be in WA, best known for his clutch joke delivery and his myriad of hysterically funny sidesplitters.

When: Friday, April 8th Where: Villa Night Club Cost: $45

When: Thursday, April 7th Where: Burswood Theatre

DJ Crissy Criss is embarking on his f rst Australian tour, bringing his infectious brand on energetic, genre-mashing dancef oor bangers with him. Whether you are a fan of drum & bass, dubstep, hip-hop or all three, don’t miss this epic event. When: Friday, April 8th Where: Shape Bar Cost: $25

FLY BY NIGHTCLUB 1 Holdsworth Street, Fremantle

ROSIE O’GRADY’S 205 James Street, Northbridge

ROSEMOUNT 459 Fitzgerald Street, North Perth

DURTY NELLY’S 397 Murray Street, Perth

THE NEWPORT HOTEL 2 South Terrace, Fremantle

MURPHY’S IRISH PUB 43 Mandurah Terrace, Perth

ELEPHANT & WHEELBARROW 55 Lake Street, Northbridge

THE SHED 69/71 Aberdeen Street, Northbridge

HOTEL ROTTNEST 1 Bedford Avenue, Rottnest Island

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

QUEENSLAND WHAT’S ON

Good Charlotte

Ranamok Glass Prize

WHY not go and support the band at their upcoming concert?

IT’S time for you to get in touch with your artsy side.

The brothers have released f ve albums to date, three of which have been certif ed platinum in Australia. Good Charlotte will be here to perform all of their classics, from We Believe to Dance Floor Anthem. Make sure to catch them as it is a one-night-only appearance during the group’s Australian capital tour.

In an amazing display of human creativity, the Cairns Regional Gallery will be hosting a glass exhibition to showcase last year’s f nalists for the Ranamok Glass Prize. The prize is given to a resident Australian or Kiwi that creates the best art form out of art that best demonstrates imagination, innovation and excellence. The winner is awarded with $15,000. Make sure to check this out, as you will be left baff ed at how glass could be manipulated into such beauteous pieces.

When: Friday, April 8th Where: Brisbane Convention Centre Cost: $100

When: Until April 10th Where: Cairns Regional Gallery

STRAIGHT from the US, Star Fucking Hipsters have been a part of the music scene since 2005.

KNOWN by the clever moniker City and Colour, Dallas Green is the one consistent member of this self-created band. Dallas is able to blend his soft pitched voice with harmonious chords to lure the audience in and capture the stage.

You better believe Star Fucking Hipsters are going to rock the stage. When: Thursday, April 7th Where: The Zoo Cost: $33

When: Friday, April 8th Where: Tivoli Cost: $63

NOT only is David Smiedt an awesome comic, but he is an accomplished writer. A night out to see David’s routine is going to be a fun one, so do not miss it. Also co-headlining the event is Anthony Selame.

JIMMY EAT WORLD formed in 1993 and have been going strong ever since. The concert promises to be a bunch of fun, and features native Australian talent The Jewel & The Falcon as openers.

When: Thursday, April 7th Where: Sit Down Comedy Club Cost: From $27.50

FROG N TOAD BAR HOP EVERY WED & FRI NIGHT

When: Saturday, April 9th Where: Tivoli Cost: $69

Heading to Cairns and want to save $$ If you are - you’d be crazy not to check out :

MONTHLY FITZROY ISLAND PARTIES

OR PHONE 0418184646

2 & 4 night hostel / party packages from $55 that include: 2or4 nights accommodation & 2or4 evening meals & free Bar Hop $5 off with this ad VOTED CAIRNS’ BEST NIGHT OUT & $150 worth of VIP Gold Club Card & Party Vouchers 44

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

QUEENSLAND THE GOLD COAST The Gold Coast is a city in the southeastern part of Queensland. Outside the f ve prominent capital cities of Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Adelaide and Perth, it has the largest population in Australia. With a big population, there must be many things in the immediate area for people to do on their leisure time, or things that are deemed tourist attractions; BBM is here to further inform you about the Gold Coast so you have some background knowledge for when you plan your trip to this beautiful city and to also provide suggestions of things to do while visiting the Gold Coast.

THE AUSTRALIAN OUTBACK SPECTACULAR

While in the Gold Coast, it is essential to take a trip to go and see The Australian Outback Spectacular. The Outback Spectacular consists of a three course meal and an amazing theatrical production that features the wildlife, culture, and music of the outback. The show has received outstanding reviews as it contains both drama and action. To give you a good idea of the action that is included, a myriad of bush-ready vehicles are a part of the production as well as a helicopter. The show is truly one of those nights to remember when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re reminiscing about the trip you took to the Gold Coast. It will be hard to get the tunes from the show out of your memory with the music production being written and composed by the likes of country legend Lee Kernaghan. The Australian Outback Spectacular is a show that can be appreciated by a plethora of audience types, so make sure you consider it a great option for a night out in the Gold Coast!

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

Q1 BUILDING

The Q1 building is one of the most iconic buildings in all of Queensland. The Q1 is the tallest residential building in the world and the tallest building in the southern hemisphere. SkyPoint, the observation deck on levels 77 and 78, is Australia’s only beachside observation deck with room for 400 people. It towers 230 metres above the Surfers Paradise beach, giving viewers a 360 degree view of Brisbane to the North, Byron Bay to the South, the Gold Coast Hinterland on the West and the beautiful Pacif c Ocean to the East. One of the best things about the Q1 Skywalk is that, in order to get to the 77th f oor where it is located, you get to travel in one of the fastest elevators in the world as it races you up the 77 f ights in 43 seconds. If you did your math right that comes out to 6.5 metres per second!

METER MAIDS

The Meter Maids are some of the most famous people in the Gold Coast region. The maids were started as a way to remove the negative image that was put forth when parking meters were installed on a popular tourist strip in Surfers Paradise. The idea of putting young girls in bikinis to walk around and pop change into expiring meters was one that was widely opposed, but after the Gold Coast’s coastline was ravaged in 1967 the maids were used to bring tourists back to the area, this is thought to be one of the best marketing strategies of its time as it was a highly successful campaign. Be sure to check out the meter maids of Surfers Paradise when you’re in the Gold Coast. Every year the Gold Coast gains more and more international recognition largely in part to the abundance of events that are conducted on a daily basis. Now it is up to you to plan you extravagant adventure out to the world famous Gold Coast.

BOOK WITH US DIRECT, MENTION THIS AD AND

SAVE

$2 PER NIGHT

g machine

EE Washin FREE WiFi - FR

m.au packers.co k c a b e is d a r spa www.surfer affected ise NOT ﬂood

Surfers Parad

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

QUEENSLAND PORT DOUGLAS ORIGINALLY settled in 1877 in the hopes of panning masses of gold from the Hodgkinson River, Port Douglas is a fair sized town whose population can double very easily. As of 2006 the permanent population was around 3,000 residents, but at the town’s peak, 12,000 people boasted residency along with over 100 choices for hotel accommodation. Port Douglas lies about 70 kilometres north of Cairns. Although it’s not as big of a tourist attraction as Cairns, that does not mean it doesn’t have as much to offer. For eons now the town has served as a prime destination for all those who venture to the Sunshine State. But why is Port Douglas so popular?

FOUR MILE BEACH

Being in Queensland, it is tough to compete with the likes of the Gold Coast and Airlie Beach, but Four Mile Beach has no problem holding its own. Quite simply one of the most beautiful beaches in Australia, Four Mile is a place that the whole family can enjoy.

The beach is a beautiful place to spend the whole day; BBM suggests walking along the beach as it’s the best way to fully appreciate the beauty it holds. From the swaying palm trees to the turquoise

waters that line the beach on either side, it is truly one of those places that make you feel like civilization is thousands of kilometres away and, thanks to savvy developers, no hotels are visible from the beach so seclusion is preserved.

SOLAR ECLIPSE MARATHON

November 14th next year will be your chance to be a participant or spectator in the extremely unique Solar Eclipse Marathon. The marathon will begin on the morning of November 14 at approximately 6:42am; this will coincide with the return of the sun rays that were absent due to the total eclipse that is set to occur on the aforementioned date. The marathon will begin on Four Mile Beach and will be the standard 45 kilometre race. It is expected to draw around 2000 runners with experience levels ranging from marathon enthusiasts to world class professionals. This event will truly be a once in a lifetime opportunity, whether you intend on spectating or participating. (CONTINUED ON PAGE 50)

) XkYai e\\ oekh 'ij d_]^j Cdi id WZ jhZY ^c Xdc_jcXi^dc l^i] Vcn di]Zg d[[Zg

;G::86AA ID 7DD@

'.&& ** ,, *, mmm$j_dX_bbo$Yec

@e_d ekh \WY[Xeea \WdfW][ mmm$\WY[Xeea$Yec%j_dX_bboi

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

C A I R N S ’ U LT I M AT E B A C K PA C K E R S H O T E L & R E S O R T !

SAVE

HUND FREE REDS of $ M $ nigheal every ! t p lus VIP throu PRIC ghou E t ven S u

EVERY

NIGHT!

ionneedd itio Coonnddit Air-c Rooms! Ensuite

.... GOES GREEN!! HELP MAKE GILLIGAN'S GO GREENER! Visit our website and follow the link gilligans.com.au/goesgreen and send us your ideas! What are you waiting for?! You could be a WINNER!!! Full terms & conditions can be viewed on the site. Green initiative, Proudly sponsored by:

• FREE Evening Meal • FREE Linen • FREE Parking • FREE Gymnasium • FREE Tour Advice • FREE Internet (1hr per guest*)

• FREE Airport pickup • Air-conditioned rooms • Ensuites in EVERY room type • Massive lagoon swimming pool • Great Central City Location! • VIP Discounts for Inhouse Guests throughout the Venue

57 – 89 Grafton Street, Cairns 4870

*Conditions apply: 3 night cap. Excludes Budget 8's & 10 share dorms - valid to 31/10/11

OFF

QUEENSLAND PORT DOUGLAS trip to Port Douglas is sea-kayaking. Sea kayaking is one of the best ways to get up close and personal with all of the wildlife that lives in the waters off Port Douglas.

KITE SURFING & WAKEBOARDING

For the more adventurous, kite surf ng is always a great option to consider while in Port Douglas. Four Mile Beach is widely considered by Australian kite surfers as the premier location to kite surf some ocean water. There is a myriad of companies that will take you out to try this exciting craft; whether you are a beginner or an experienced kite surfer, Four Mile is the place to try this sport. One of the more notable companies to offer kite surf ng in Port Douglas is WindSwell. WindSwell offer high class instructors that are able to accommodate those of any skill level. According to them, the best conditions to kite surf are during the winter months between May and October. Another great option for adventurous people is wakeboarding. Make sure you book your trip to Port Douglas as soon as possible as they are entering peak season for travellers and many deals are available.

SEA KAYAKING

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not a rare occurrence to have a dolphin swim alongside you while you paddle through the clear water and enjoy the majestic beauty of the area. Sea-kayaking also offers people one of the best chances at seeing a wild Dugong in its natural habitat. Multiple companies suggest that f tness level is usually not a factor when sea kayaking but they would recommend having a low to moderate f tness level as the trips last up to four hours. Most of the sea kayaking companies will let you venture about to a destination of your choice, but hopefully you will get to see the Lower Isles which have become a very popular tourist attraction in more recent years.

Last but certainly not least, another great thing to look into on your

MINIMUM 3 NITE STAY

.3 VOT ED NSOT E L O BEST H 2011 IN OZ w- orld.com by hostel

SAGD12097

UNIQUE, RELAXED, HOMELY, ATMOSPHERE!

Phone 4038 1555 www.skyrail.com.au

FREECALL Ph: 1800 058 440 4 Terminus Streets - Cairns

#! ) 2 .3 s !5342 ! ,) ! 50

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

OCEANS Y OUTH & E CO ADVEN T U RE H

SUNLOVER

OSTELS

REEF CRUISES

Discover the Real Reef

$130

INTRODUCTORY

SCUBABEDS DIVE DORM

$125 $27

FROM FROM

per person 4 hours of reef fun!

per person

per maxperson 4 ppl

CERTIFIED PRIVATE ROOM SCUBA DIVE FROM FROM

$75 $80

Shortest travel time…longest play time!

twin share

maxperson 2 ppl per

THE OYEAH! FACTORS: ËTravel to the reef on board our air-conditioned Catamaran ËSnorkelling equipment provided ËInformative presentation hosted by our marine naturalist ËOn-board touch tank to experience marine life up close

ËDelicious chef-prepared buffet luncheon featuring fresh seafood, hot dishes, salads and fruit ËGuided coral viewing from our semi-submersible craft and glass-bottom boat

FERNTREE Hostel

Cape Tribulation DORM BEDS FROM

$27

per person

max 4 ppl

PRIVATE ROOM access to Ferntree Rainforest Hostel guests have full the Ferntree Rainforest Lodge facilities THE OYEAH! FACTORS:

ËTwo Swimming Pools ËMini-Fridge in All Rooms ËBBQ Facilities

ËVolleyball Court ËTV Lounge ËTour Booking Service

FROM

$75

twin share

max 2 ppl

ËClose to Food Store and Pharmacy ËShort walk to PK’s Jungle Bar ËCassowary Cafe – Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner FERNTREE RAINFOREST HOSTEL SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES

Free Call:

1800 075 125 (Calls within Australia)

Cairns

.COM.AU

Townsville

SOUTH AUSTRALIA

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S ON

PAUL Kelly, one of our most prolif c songwriters, is ready to perform his A To Z recordings live with 100 songs over four nights. Performing 100 songs from his vast catalogue alphabetically over four consecutive nights in cities around the nation, these intimate acoustic performances have taken place in Brisbane, Perth, Sydney, Canberra, Hobart, Darwin, Melbourne, Alice Springs and now Adelaide. The tickets will be sold as either individual nights, or as multi-night bundles. The more nights one attends, the cheaper per night the ticket price becomes. For the past thirty years Paul has written songs inspired by everything from cricket to religion, from social issues to literature, and of course the land and the history of Australia. His songs have the power to connect people of all generations.

JO and Brydie are best friends. Just like those girls in that coming of age comedy, or those women in that popular TV show. They wear pants when they travel and they live in a city! But theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not without their problems. Brydieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lactose intolerant (racist?) and sometimes genuinely believes sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Buffy. Jo canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t drive and her mum is dead. Seriously. For 25 years theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been unable to f x their own problems. Now Jo and Brydie play doctor and try to heal each other. Through stand-up, sketch and the occasional song, these two comediennes prove that laughter really is the best medicine (unless youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re actually sick).

When: 4th - 7th April Where: Space Theatre Cost: From $65

When: Until 12th April Where: The Tuxedo Cat Cost: $15

2 DAYS OF FUN & ADVENTURE

$399 * PER ADULT DEPARTING ADELAIDE

Includes: !

" # # $ " % " & ' ( & ( ' ) ( + + *

kiadventuretours.com.au | call 08 8202 8678 , -+)-) .+ " # / ) 0 ) 11# 23.2 #"0 24 ..5 + -25)

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

KASEY Chambers and Shane Nicholson’s double header live show will feature Kasey’s hit songs from her award winning Little Bird while Shane will perform the songs of Bad Machines along with tracks from their critically acclaimed back catalogue. Kasey and Shane will also perform a few favourites from their multi award winning ‘Rattlin Bones’ album of 2008. They will be joined by special guests; the legendary Bill Chambers and Tamworth’s f rst lady of f ddle: Ashleigh Dallas. Wednesday, 6th April at Middleback Theatre Thursday, 7th April at Northern Festival Centre Friday 8th April at Chaffey Theatre

OH Mercy are heading back out on the road for the Great Barrier Grief album launch tour. Recently the band have been joined on stage by Michael from Yves Klein Blue and Kieran from Kid Sam - this tour is sure to hold some surprises up it’s sleeve. When: Sunday, 10th April Where: Jive

OVER the years, Dallas Green had written a bunch of songs that were a departure from what Alexisonf re were doing and just wouldn’t f t into that realm. What began as a project between tours, slowly turned into an expression of itself when he released the Juno Award-winning debut album Sometimes. In 2008, the follow up album Bring Me Your Love was released to a plethora of critical acclaim and platinum charting, securing Green’s position and credibility as a solo artist in his own right. As a live act, City And Colour’s presence has been garnering praise and recognition the world over having just recently sold out London’s Royal Albert Hall the day that tickets went on sale, as well as securing record-timed sell outs for shows across North America and Europe. When: Sunday, 10th April Where: HQ Cost: $60

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SOUTH AUSTRALIA

WHAT’S ON

THE Cherry Poppin’ Daddies are bringing their tasty high energy brand of swing, funk and ska to The Gov in a very exclusive Australian tour. Their single Zoot Suit Riot is a must have for any party playlist, so come down and party with the guys who wrote it. When: Monday, 11th April Where: Governor Hindmarsh Hotel

BEN Ottewell is the big guy with the glasses in Gomez. The guy with the deep, husky, sweet and soulful sounds. The guy who busts the big guitarist classic moves. The guy that stands in the middle and controls the action a little, or at least makes the best faces. When: Wednesday, 13th April Where: Wheatsheaf Hotel

BOB Dylan will send legions of fans back to all those wonderful songs and albums, as he returns after close to four years. In Adelaide, he’ll be joined by blues master and living legend B.B. King. This is certain to be a spectacular evening.

AFTER its launch into Australia last year, Creamf elds is back bigger and better. Deadmau5 is one of the biggest acts in the world and has been stunning audiences worldwide with this live show and production that he is bringing for the f rst time to Australia.

When: Tuesday, 19th April Where: Entertainment Centre

When: Friday, 22nd April Where: Entertainment Centre

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

RECRUITMENT

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

Nurses, want an agency that looks after you?

Proudly UK & Irish Owned

24/7 is Sydneyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s premier nursing agency, supplying staff to public & private hospitals across Sydney & rural Australia t t t t t t

)JHIFTU 1BZ 3BUFT JO 4ZEOFZ 'SFF 6OJGPSNT 8FFLMZ 1BZ #POVTFT 'MFYJCMF DIPJDF PG 4IJGUT 'BCVMPVT 4PDJBM $MVC 4QPOTPSTIJQ 0QQPSUVOJUJFT

The agency that looks after you!

Call: 13 000 247 247 info@247nursing.com.au www.247nursing.com.au

ATTENTION ELECTRICIANS PIPE LAYERS CARPENTERS PAINTERS

EXCAVATOR OPERATORS LABOURERS PLASTERERS PLUMBERS

REQUIRED URGENTLY REGISTER ON

WWW.ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU OR EMAIL

ADMIN@ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU FOR FURTHER INFO CALL 1300 299 818 JOIN ADVANCED LABOUR HIRE ON FACEBOOK FOR JOB UPDATES.

:$17 72 ),1' $ -2%" Â&#x;OĂ?OÂ&#x;AĂ&#x192;cÂł Ă?Â&#x2013;lÂ&#x2013;OlĂ&#x192;Ă?Â&#x;yĂ?Ă?Â&#x2C6;lĂ? -" `Ă? Ă&#x2DC;Ă&#x2020;Ă?Ă&#x192;AÂ&#x2019;Â&#x2039;AÂ&#x203A;Ă? Â&#x;Â&#x203A;Ă?Ă&#x192;AYĂ?Ă?-Ă&#x192;Â&#x;ylĂ&#x2020;Ă&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x;Â&#x203A;AÂ&#x2019;Ă?"AÂ&#x203A;AÂ&#x20AC;lÂ&#x2013;lÂ&#x203A;Ă?Ă? Ă&#x2020;Ă&#x2020;Â&#x;YÂ&#x2039;AĂ?Â&#x2039;Â&#x;Â&#x203A;

To apply for these roles please e-mail your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au

Sydney Jobs

Apply to tc@freespirit.com.au

9LVLW XV DW /HYHO 3LWW 6WUHHW 6\GQH\

MEDIA SALES CONSULTANT $22 PER HOUR (6 MONTH ROLES)

CLAIMS $22 PER HOUR (3 MONTH ROLES)

Our client is a newly established on-line media agency seeking a number of experienced outbound call consultants to join their small but busy North Sydney media team.

Leading Australian Insurance company requires reliable travelers for contract role;

You will possess; â&#x20AC;˘ Excellent communication skills â&#x20AC;˘ Highly motivated individual â&#x20AC;˘ Strong customer service skills â&#x20AC;˘ Friendly personality This is a great role calling an existing client base. Full training provided.

â&#x20AC;˘ Must have Insurance Claims experience, Home & Content preferred â&#x20AC;˘ Strong Microsoft Office and communication skills â&#x20AC;˘ CBD location â&#x20AC;˘ Young and friendly team, nice offices â&#x20AC;˘ $22 plus super â&#x20AC;˘ Start now for 3 months with a view to extend to 6 months

TELESALES CONSULTANTS $21 PER HOUR

ACCOUNTS PAYABLE/RECEIVABLE $24-$26 PER HOUR

Our Client is seeking experienced Telesales Consultantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with the following criteria:

Do you have accounts payable/receivable experience?? We have clients in the city seeking candidates for immediate start.

â&#x20AC;˘ Minimum of 6 months call centre experience â&#x20AC;˘ English fluency â&#x20AC;˘ Travellers with more than 3 months visa validity â&#x20AC;˘ Strong experience with an aggressive sales attitude â&#x20AC;˘ Strong customer service skills â&#x20AC;˘ Financial Services Background would be a Bonus

The ideal candidate will; â&#x20AC;˘ Thrive in a busy environment â&#x20AC;˘ High attention to detail â&#x20AC;˘ At least 2 years experience â&#x20AC;˘ Ability to prioritize workload Assignments are up to 6 months paying $24-$26 an hour. To apply for these roles please email your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au

Already have a job and want more money? Call 1300 freespirit to ask us about LAFHA.

)RU PRUH MREV FDOO IUHHVSLULW RU YLVLW ZZZ IUHHVSLULW FRP DX

JOB LISTINGS AUSTRALIA THINK YOU’RE FUNNIER THAN US? BBM is looking

for some new contributors. Want to get you work published in a National magazine and website whilst earning concert tickets, bar tabs, free travel trips, etc. Email ben.harlum@ what-media.com or call 02 8231 7706

MELBOURNE PROMOTIONAL STAFF. call centre work available to promote electricity and gas. simple work and great money. full time training provided - no experience needed. melbourne work only. call Jerry on 03 9867 6322

TO ADVERTISE

CALL ON (02) 8231 7701

SYDNEY

Call Centre - Travellers Wanted! Our Client is seeking travellers with fantastic customer service and sale skills for a 6-8 temp assignment. Your role will be generating leads on behalf of a well established global client through warm and cold calling. Paying $22 Plus Super If you think you are right for the role then please send your detailed resume to tc@freespirit.com.au CLAIMS OFFICER Our Client is seeking an experienced Claims Offi cer with the following criteria: Minimum of 1 year work experience, Experience in Motor or home insurance claims, English fl uency, Travellers with more than 6 months visa validity, Not on Student Visa. If you believe you are suitable for this role please email your resume to: tc@freespirit.com.au

INDUSTRIOUS RECRUITMENT

is currently looking for casual staff with experience in: Warehousing, Labouring, Stores, Process Work, Green card and safety boots are an advantage – however not essential! Various assignments, short & long term! Email sarah@ industriousrecruitment.com.au or contact Sarah @ (02) 9270 5257

DATA ENTRY OFFICER – TRAVELLERS WELCOME!! Our Client is seeking an experienced Data Entry Offi cer with the following criteria: Minimum of 1 year work experience. English fl uency. Travellers with more than 3 months visa validity. Not on Student Visa. If you believe you are the right candidate for this role please forward your resume through to mailto:tc@freespirit.com.au

DATA ENTRY POSITIONS AVAILABLE NOW!

Working Holiday Makers needed for our EASTERN SUBURBS OFFICE. Must be Enthusiastic, have a Good Typing Speed, and able to Follow Instructions. Full Training Given. Paid Weekly. Call Steve Now on 1300 657 362

TELEMARKETERS

– SMILE WHILE YOU DIAL! Working Holidaymakers needed for our EASTERN SUBURBS OFFICE. Must be enthusiastic, confi dent, well spoken and able to follow instructions. No experience necessary - Full training given. Base + Commission + Bonus Paid Weekly. Call Steve Now on 1300 657 362

SALES EXECUTIVE DO WANT TO SETTLE DOWN IN AUSTRALIA? DO YOU LOVE SELLING? • Generous package • An opportunity to become an Australian permanent resident and eventually a citizen! • Fantastic full-time sales role with growth potential • Both face-to-face & call centre positions! • Complete training available • Assistance with your visa We are a privately owned media company experiencing growth year on year. We require LOUD, FUN & SMART individuals to join our young & dynamic team to work out of our West Sydney and Inner West Sydney offi ces As Sales Executive you will be selling to medium sized local businesses and organisations, gradually building strong relationships with your portfolio of clients. We want to see your great selling skills and your original ideas and marketing solutions. If you have a professional attitude and presentation, then email your resume and a cover letter to

resumes@internode.on.net 60

BBM-602 // JOB LISTINGS

ADULT EMPLOYMENT

KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning. Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.) There is a map to guide you to us. Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road.

Behind each successful woman is-HERSELF!!! Training provided Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Foxtel and internet access for staff Friendly Female management Located in the heart of Sydney Earn $150+ per hour

NO SEX

www.sirs.com.au 80 ERSKINE ST. SYDNEY CBD

Female Masseurs Required $115 p/hr Full Training Provided Immediate Start Flexible Shifts Fun & Friendly Girls Team

92997771 (02) 96990055 NIRVANA 400 Cleveland St, Surry Hills www.nirvanasydney.com.au

261 Parramatta Rd Broadway 02 9660 0666 www.kingscourt.com.au

BBM-602 // JOB LISTINGS

GOOD GIRLS GO TO HEAVEN!! BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE!! Female Masseurs required $115 p/hr Full training provided Immediate Start Flexible shifts Fun & friendly girls team

(02) 9357 6145 AT MICHELLES

135 Bayswater Rd Rushcutters Bay www.atmichelles.com

JOB LISTINGS

-BEJFT SFR (VBSBOUFFE #VTJFTU E E #FTU 3BUF JO 4ZEOFZ 63(&/5 &"3/ , 1&3 4)*'5 1"*% %"*-: /P FYQFSJFODF SFRVJSFE GVMM USBJOJOH BOE GSFF BDDPNNPEBUJPO ,JOH 4U /FXUPXO 4U 1FUFST XXX BNPSF DPN BV

TRAVELLERS, STUDENTS & LOCALS Several vacancies exist @ our friendly well established full service parlour @ Darling Harbour. We have flexible shifts, caring female management, great pay ($150 p/ hr) and a very safe environment for sexy ladies.Great place for newcomers. Call 02 9660 5942 after 11am for a confidential chat. www.club121.com.au info@club121.com.au

219 Croydon ATTRACTIVE LADIES

WANTED Busy day time parlour Guaranteed big money Flexible shifts Immediate start

Please call or text 0404404742 219 Elizabeth St Croydon

TO ADVERTISE CALL

ON (02) 8231 7701

#0%:-*/& .FMCPVSOF 1$" 1$"

:&4 8& /&&% :06 #VTZ )JHI $MBTT BOE 8FMM FTUBCMJTIFE DFOUSF +VTU %SPQ JO BOE HFU TUBSUFE $BMM BBM-602 // JOB LISTINGS

ACCOMMODATION SYDNEY

MELBOURNE Looking for excellent accommodation at the best location in Sydney. The Porterhouse have dorms in the heart of the city. Dorm beds single $40 per night or $180 per week, double rooms $80 per night OR $320 per week. Call 02 9211 4454 for details

Potts Point â&#x20AC;&#x201C; CLOSE TO CITY. Large Studio in garden complex. Close to Kings Cross station. Suitable for a couple. Fully furnished and equipped with everything you need including TV, linen, crockery, microwave etc. $375pw. Call 0425286445

DARLINGHURST BUDGET. NEWLY RE-FURBISHED SHARE ACCOMMODATION - Rear of 433 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst. Corner of West Street. Central location, close to all amenities yet quiet. $160 P/P P/W + $200 Bond. All bills + WIRELESS INTERNET included. Fully furnished rooms in share house. 7 rooms - 2, 3 or 4 person share. Laundry, Kitchen, lounge/TV room. For appointment to view call Louise between 9am-7pm on 0402 034 119.

FULLY FURNISHED MODERN APARTMENTS TRENDY ACLAND STREET ST. KILDA

Suit singles, couples, 2/4 share. Rooms, Studios, Units. Short to medium term rentals. From $200 to $450 per week. Share from $100 pp weekly. All-inclusive. Well-equipped. Large courtyard, BBQ, security. Close to trams, shops, beach, tourist spots, Luna Park.

Call Sunday to Friday 0425 803 276 or 0425 790 566

TO ADVERTISE CALL

ON (02) 8231 7701

BBM-602 // ACCOMMODATION

ACCOMMODATION GUIDE NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) Fax: 02 9266 0017 www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly office@clovellyhotel.com.au Reservation numbers: (02) 9665 1214 www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 manager@criterionhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au WESTEND BACKPACKERS 412 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW, 2000 Freecall: 1800 013 186 Phone: 02 9211 4588 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.westendbackpackers.com See the CHURCH - Australia’s largest dorm!

JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 FREE: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 1800 304 660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 FREECALL: 1800 806 384 Ph/Fax: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St, Woolloomooloo NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off! (Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

THE GEORGE STREET HOTEL 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Tel: 02 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Freecall: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph +61 2 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: 02 96001736 www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au MAZE BACKPACKERS 417 Pitt St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 1800 813 522 www.mazebackpackers.com

PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92114454 www.Porterhouse.com.au info@porterhouse.com.au Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

BIG HOSTEL 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: 1800 212 244 02 92816030 Fax: 02-9281-6031 www.bighostel.com reception@bighostel.com HAPPY CHAPPY TRAVELLERS INN 64 Foveaux St, Surry Hills Ph: 02 9211 4945 Fax: 02 9212 6662 www.excelsiorhotel.com info@excelsiorhotel.com.au

SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL

428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 (02) 9211 7323 Open Daily 8am-11pm www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au

THE ROYAL HOTEL

370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: 02 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 Fax: -61 2 9981 1114 www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year. Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES CRONULLA BEACH YHA 40 - 42 Kingsway, Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph/fax: (61) 2 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com

NEWCASTLE

BACKPACKERS NEWCASTLE 42 & 44 Denison St, Newcastle, NSW, 2303 Freecall: 1800 - 33 34 36 (NSW) Ph: 02 4969 3436 info@backpackersnewcastle.com.au

HUNTER VALLEY HUNTER VALLEY YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN BACKPACKERS LODGE 31 Lurline st Katoomba Ph: 4782 3933 www.katoombabackpackers.com.au/ stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 T/F Ph: 1800 028 909 Ph; (02) 6685-7663 Fax: (02) 6685-7439 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Freecall: 1800 766 673 Phone: 02 6680 7966 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Newest backpackers in town – not to be missed!

ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

NAMBUCCA HEADS

NAMBUCCA BACKPACKERS Nambucca Backpackers, 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

TINBILLY TRAVELLERS 466 George St Brisbane City, Qld 4000 www.tinbilly.com Ph: +61 7 3238 5888 Free Call 1800 44 66 46 Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St New Farm Brisbane 0433777061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind Minimum 2 week stay BASE QLD BACKPACKERS 308 Edward st Brisbane qld 4000 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Ph: 0732112433 BUNK 11-21 Gipps St Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free Call: 1800 682 865

GOLDCOAST AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Freecall 1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com

ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT 6 Beach Road, Surfers Paradise (next to the bus transit centre) Ph: 1800 074 393 www.islander.com.au res@islander.com.au SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise 4217, QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 Fax: 07-5592-5266 www.sleepinginn.com.au info@sleepinginn.com.au GET EXCITED ABOUT WHERE YOU SLEEP! COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets, Coolangatta 4225 Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RESORT 2837 Gold Coast Highway Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Freecall - 1800 282 800 www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

spbr@bigpond.net.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com

HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770 (Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton)

COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770 Queensland, 4677 Ph: 1800 227 660 www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (BACKPACKERS) 2694 round hill rd, agnes water, 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water Queensland 4677 Australia Ph: 07 4974 7200 www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS NOMADS CAIRNS 341 Lake Street Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 737 736 bookings@nomadscairns.com nomadshostels.com Stay 4 nights, pay only 3! Or $5 off 1st night with this ad. NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 175 716 Ph: 07 4031 7477 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com nomadshostels.com Free Breakfast, Free Dinner, and 15 minutes Internet Free

GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Free phone: 1800 556 995 www.gilligans.com.au

DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.) Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph:0740316753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com GLOBETROTTERS INTERNATIONAL 154-156 Lake st Cairns City 1800 22 55 87 info@globetrottersinternational.com.au www.globetrottersinternational.com.au A GREAT NIGHT SLEEP GUARANTEED NOMADS CAIRNS BEACH HOUSE 239 Sheridan Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Tel: 1800 229 228 or (07) 4041 0431 bookings@nomadsbeachhouse.com www.nomadsworldhotels.com Dorm from just $12 THE NORTHERN GREENHOUSE 117 Grafton Street Cairns QLD 4000 Ph: 1800 000 541 northern@friendlygroup.com.au www.northerngreenhouse.com.au JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Bookings - 1800 666 336 Reception - (07) 4051 7642 Fax - (07) 4051 7223 www.jjsbackpackers.com jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au

MISSION BEACH

ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS MISSION BEACH

28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Freecall: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach Queensland, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 Fax: 07 4068 8520 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

CAPE TRIBULATION PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Lot 11 Cape Tribulation Road, Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com

WHITSUNDAYS

BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage Whitsundays, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 075 125 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 9400 Availability and Rates: barefootlodge.bookconfirm.com longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH

MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd 4802 Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: +61 7 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free call: 1800 624 634 www.magnums.com.au CLUB CROCODILE Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, Australia Freecall: 1800 075 151 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 7155 Availability and Rates: Club Crocodile Airlie Beach Bookings airliebeach@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

BBM-602 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

CAPE TRIBULATION FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE

Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, Australia Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

PERTH RAINBOW LODGE 133 Summers St. Perth, WA Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au MAD CAT BACKPACKERS 55-63 Stirling Street Perth, Western Australia, WA 6000 Ph: (0)8 9228 4966 madcat@madcatbackpackers.com.au

www.madcatbackpackers.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA ACCOMMODATION JEWELL HOUSE 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 email: jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS 1 Eric Street , Cottesloe Perth W/A 6011 Ph: 08 9384 5111 backpackers@obh.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 Fax: (08) 9228 3744 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au

EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce , Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St. Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

MONKEY MIA

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 22 Nutwood Crescent Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, Victoria, 3381 Ph: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au

www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 NOMADS MELBOURNE

196-198 A’Beckett Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 44 77 62 Phone: 03 9328 4383 bookings@nomadsmelbourne.com nomadshostels.com

Funkiest backpackers in Melbourne – come enjoy a drink in industry bar/lounge. On us!!Yay

EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 Fax: 03 9663 2248 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au

BBM-602 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

Australia

NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com

$5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 Fax: 03 9620 5101 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au THE SPENCER BACKPACKERS 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only). KING STREET BACKPACKERS 197-199 King Street Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: (03) 9670 1111 1800 671 115 info@kingstreetbackpackers.com.au www.kingstreetbackpackers.com.au MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS

450 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 Fax: 03 9662 4077 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au THE GREENHOUSE BACKPACKER 228 Flinders Lane Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: 1800 249 207 greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au www.greenhousebackpacker.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider VICTORIA HALL ACCOMMODATION 380 Russell Street Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au PINT ON PUNT 42 Punt Road Windsor 3181 Melbourne, Victoria Australia Ph: 03 9510 4273 www.pintonpunt.com.au

ST. KILDA

OSLO HOTEL 38 Grey St, St Kilda Melbourne Ph: 1800 501752 Free call or (03) 95254498 or mob: 0407115610 (any time) info@oslohotel.com.au www.oslohotel.com.au From $132 per week, 4 bed dorms HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au

Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20!FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply JACKSON APARTMENTS St Kilda Beach 80 Ikerman St Ph:0433 118 334 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com

APOLLO BAY

APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 Fax: 03 523 77385 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au

NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN

CHILLIS BACKPACKERS 69A Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 1800 351 313 www.chillis.com.au ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin NT 0800, Australia Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

SHARE ACCOMMODATION CAIRNS

CAIRNS SHAREHOUSE.COM 53a Minnie Street, Cairns Qld 4870 (Cnr Draper/Minnie Streets) Ph: 0740 411 875 or 0412 318 519 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com SPECIAL!!! Mention this ad and receive free DVD hire!! **Note: Best for stays of 4 weeks & more

SUBIACO AND WEST PERTH MALIBU APARTMENTS Share House & Self Contained Apartments Subiaco & West Perth Ph: (08) 9228 9008 info@malibuapartments.com.au www.malibuapartments.com.au

ALICE SPRINGS ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 Fax: 08 8410 6288 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com

HINDMARSH ADELAIDE SHAKESPERE’S INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street Adelaide SA Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

ACCOMMODATION GUIDE New Zealand CHRISTCHURCH

CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@ bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

QUEENSTOWN

BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new fl ashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER

CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

AUCKLAND

WELLINGTON

NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com

NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefi eld Stree Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night

$5 off fi rst night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off fi rst night if you mention this ad

Fiji BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfi ji.comwww beachcomberfi ji.com THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fi jibeachouse.co www.fi jibeachouse.co

SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT & HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport. Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove. com.fj www.smugglersbeachfi ji.com Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfi ji.co

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfi ji com THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacifi c Harbou P.O.Box 416 Pacifi c Habou Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort. com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fi jinadibayhotel.com NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj

BBM-602 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

ADVENTURE SPORTS

SKYDIVING AUSTRALIA

COFFS CITY SKYDIVERS 64 aviation drive Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Tel: 02 66511167 – 0400916600 jump@coffsskydivers.com.au www.coffsskydivers.com.au AWESOME in every way! Full Facilities,Cheap Accomodation Gift Vouchers, GOOD VIBES

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 PH: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 Fax: 02 6684 6323 Email: info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com

The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS Pathfinder Dr, Caloundra Airport Tel: 1300 727 313 or 07 5437 0211 jump@jumpscs.com www.jumpscs.com SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of coffs

SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au

Free Transfers from Cairns & spectacular views of the great barrier reef

SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au

Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

NEW ZEALAND

SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane, Wanaka Airport State Highway 6, Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

FIJI

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA

THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Tel: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au Coral Sea - Cairns - and Whitsunday Islands Dive live aboards. PADI dive courses and HMAS Brisbane wreck dive. NINGALOO WHALE SHARK AND DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth. Western Australia FREECALL: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au

SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES, CAIRNS

Reef Fleet Terminal, Tenancy 3, 1 Spence Street Cairns, QLD 4870, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 810 512 International Telephone: +61 7 4050 1333 Availability and Rates: sunlovercruises.bookconfirm.com res@sunlover.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

FIJI

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING AND WATERSPORTS Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company. Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.

TOURS/ ADVENTURES AUSTRALIA

SKYRAIL RAINFOREST CABLEWAY Cnr of Captain Cook Highway and Cairns Western Arterial Road, PO Box 888 Smithfield, Queensland, 4878 Ph: 07 4038 1555 Fax: 07 4038 1888 mail@skyrail.com.au www.skyrail.com.au GOING SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au

TEMPTATION DOLPHIN SWIM Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg SA 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 Fax: (08) 8353 0750 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au OCEAN SAFARI CAPE TRIBULATION The Boardwalk Café, Cape Tribulation Rd,

BBM-602 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

Cape Tribulation Tel: 07 4098 0006 Fax: 07 4098 0195 oceansafari@westnet.com.au www.oceansafari.com.au

The Great Barrier Reef in just 25 minutes, join our half day Eco Tour for an exhilarating ride of your life and two hours of pristine snorkelling at Mackay and Undine reefs.

RAFTING

AUSTRALIA

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Tel: 07 4946 6848 Fax: 07 4946 1488 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

Each Ocean Rafting day includes a visit to Whitehaven Beach, pristine snorkelling reefs and stunning national park Island walks. Whitsunday Adventure Tourism Winner 2008 and Eco accredited

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.mulgas.com.au

HOT AIRBALLOONING AUSTRALIA

BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Tel: 9730 2422 or Freecall 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com .au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING AUSTRALIA

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

KITE SURFING AUSTRALIA

KITESURF 1770 / IKO CER TIFIED KITEBOARDING SCHOOL/CENTRE 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC Shop: 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182 Melbourne, VIC Ph:(03) 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

MARINE CHARTERS AUSTRALIA

ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au

KANGAROO ISLAND MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 Fax: 08 8553 0016 www.kimarineadventures.com

KAYAKING AUSTRALIA

ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: (08) 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au

BIKE RIDING AUSTRALIA

ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au

JET BOATING

NEW ZEALAND SHOTOVER JET

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

AUSTRALIA

JET BOAT EXTREME Behind Titanium Bar Ferny Avenue Surfers Paradise Queensland Ph: 0755388890 Mob: 0404099981 info@jetboatextreme.com.au www.jetboatextreme.com.au

ROLLERBLADING

SURFING AUSTRALIA NATIONAL SURFSCHOOL NETWORK Tel: 07 5599 3800 Chris@surfingaustralia.com http://www.surfingaustralia.com

Come surfing with the original surfschool network in Australia…safety and fun in the one experience

MOJOSURF 2/9 Marvel Street Ph: 02 6639 5100 reservations@mojosurf.com http://mojosurf.com Living the dream… SANCTUARY SURFERS 201 Waymouth Street Adelaide South Australia 5000 Ph: 0403 134 478 luke.j.d@gmail.com www.sanctuary.net.au SURFSHACK IS AN ACCREDITED SURF SCHOOL Lessons from $50 for 2 hours Lake Entrance Surf Shack 507 Esplanade Ph: 03 5155 4933 Mallacoota Surf Shack 41 Maurice Avenue Ph: 03 5158 0909 www.surfshack.com.au

JUNGLE SURFING AUSTRALIA

JUNGLE SURFING CANOPY TOURS PO Box 117 Port Douglas, Queensland Ph: 07 4098 0043 info@junglesurfing.com.au www.junglesurfing.com.au

RIVER BOARDING NEW ZEALAND

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

SHARK EXPEDITIONS AUSTRALIA

AUSTRALIA

ROLLERBLADING.COM.AU Lessons in Sydney and Melbourne Purchase lessons online www.rollerblading.com.au/british Ph: 0411872022

RODNEY FOX EXPEDITIONS 73 Ninth Avenue, Joslin, Adelaide, South Australia, 5070 Ph: (08) 8363 1788 www.rodneyfox.com.au

GLACIER GUIDING

BUNGY JUMPING

Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, New Zealand Tel: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 Fax: +64 3 751 0857 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

AJ HACKETT CAIRNS Mc Gregor Road Smithfield, QLD 4878 Ph: (07) 4057 7188 Free call: 1800 622 888 (Aus only) Cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

NEW ZEALAND

AUSTRALIA

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

SURFING AUSTRALIA

SURF CAMP AUSTRALIA 235 CLARENCE ST, SYDNEY PH: (02) 9262 1757 www.surfcamp.com.au

CRYSTAL BALLS

Our resident psychic, Crystal, tells you your fortune for this week

leaves you dazed and unable to

Your trademark Basil

nothing natural about a McRib

get to work until noon.

Fawlty-style moonwalk was

sandwich either and you have

once the talk of Bracknell’s

no problem putting that in you

Unfortunately, your boss does

nightspots, but in the future it

mouth.

not believe you. This could be

will be the talk of the Brisbane

something to do with the fact

spinal injuries clinic after you

Capricorn

you have not been on time in

maim four people after one

YOUR indecision with choosing

a month and each time have

Jagerbomb too many.

outfits gets on your partner’s nerves so much it’s putting your

woken up smelling of grog.

relationship in jeopardy, so why

Libra

not develop some basic rules?

Aries

Cancer

YOUR search for a Easter

OK, fair enough, you like dogs.

ATTEMPTS to make it in the

costume will begin this week as

If you ask whether your bum

But your insistence on walking

art world will take a turn for

you try and upstage everyone

looks big in something, it does.

up to every dog you see with

the worse/better when you

else.

If you return to the mirror to

your hand out saying “awwww,

accidentally cut your throat &

come here puppy” will get you

blood leaks over your “work”.

in trouble this week as a hungry

check if your clothes match, After days of trying stuff on you

they don’t.

will realise your own face, body

rottweiler will see fit to bite your

It will suddenly propel you to

and clothes are more gruesome

If you complain about not

hand clean off.

fame and fortune when you win

than anything the most

having enough clothes, try

plaudits for your truly original

depraved minds in the gothic

doing laundry.

It may seem like ruff justice, but

abstract work. Sadly you won’t

world could think up.

that night when you drunkenly

really be able to enjoy it, due to

smeared your whole body with

the surgery which has rendered

Pedigree Chum for a bet will

you mute.

come back to haunt you.

Aquarius USING the credit crunch as a

Scorpio

reason for your cash woes is

YOUR dieting is making

not acceptable.

you miserable and you will

Leo

succumb to the realisation that

You’ve been skint since the

Taurus

IT’S another bitter-sweet

giving up chocolate and hating

mid-90s and it’s down to one

WHY would you spend a grand

scenario as the spiders that

all people are linked.

thing - you’re about as likely to

and 24 hours on a plane to sit

have been slowly breeding in

inside playing on a playstation?

your bedroom decide to fall on

By the way, if you were looking

It makes about as much sense

your body while you sleep.

to get into bikini shape by the

as the average Aussie taxi driver.

While the bites mean you

find work as a bikini salesman in the Antarctic.

start of April, you should have

Get off the sofa, buy a suit and

started in September... 2008.

make some money.

will never have sex with your Why not try and make your

girlfriend again, her genius idea

square eyes round again by

to film the whole incident has

Sagittarius

Pisces

going outside and soaking up

led to you gaining the credit

YOU are not an oil painting

IT’S always hard to find

some culture. If you visit any

for inventing a completely new

- unless you count Picasso - so

the get-out clause to end a

museums then a Game Boy is

form of break dancing.

why set your sights so high?

relationship without suffering, but you’ve reached new depths

acceptable. You have to stay Any imperfection on a female

by saying that high gas prices

Virgo

and you’re not interested. For

have forced you to break off

THE days when you could go

someone who looks like Harold

your long-distance relationship.

Gemini

out with your mates and throw

Bishop, this is quite rich.

A CLOSE encounter in the lift

shapes all night long on the

of your block of flats with a

dancefloor will end abruptly.

awake somehow.

herd of rampaging watermelons

Do you think she wouldn’t You may despise fake teeth,

notice you live next door and

smiles and breasts, but there’s

don’t have a driving license?

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

OCEANS Y OUTH & E CO ADVEN T U RE H

OSTELS

DORM

BEDS BEDS DORM

$27

FROM FROM

per person

per maxperson 4 ppl

DOUBLE ROOM PRIVATE ROOM FROM FROM

$75

An island escape on the mainland

max share 2 ppl twin

THE OYEAH! FACTORS: ËTwo Pristine Pools ËSpa ËFree WiFi

ËBBQ Facilities ËGames Room ËOceans Bar & Grill

twin share (max 2 ppl)

ËEnsuite with Mini-fridge ËTV & DVD Player in the Chill Room ËShopping Centre & Supermarket next door ËTour Booking Service

BAREFOOT LODGE LONG ISLAND

Airlie Beach Hostel DORM BEDS FROM

$27

per person

max 4 ppl

PRIVATE ROOM

Barefoot Lodge guests have full access to the Long Island Resort’s facilities

FROM

$75

THE OYEAH! FACTORS: ËSwim-up Pool Bar and Lap Pool ËAmazing Beach frontage ËSpa ËFish/Bird Feeding

ËGames Room Ë20 kms of Rainforest Walking Tracks ËDaily Activities and Nightly Entertainment ËSnorkelling

ËWatersports (additional charge) ËTour Booking Service ËFan Cooled Rooms ËTennis

Free Call:

1800 075 125 (Calls within Australia)

twin share

max 2 ppl

Cairns

.COM.AU

LONG ISLAND BAREFOOT LODGE

Townsville Airlie Beach

CLUB CROC HOSTEL

ASK CRYSTAL get me. How do I get rid? Kelly, Parramatta

Dear Crystal,

and a lock. Why didn’t you think

I’VE committed the cardinal sin

of that before? You moron.

of moving in with the Northern

Dear Kelly,

Territory’s biggest pervert.

DEAR me, it’s a bit early for

The second involves a beautiful little scheme made famous by

Halloween, isn’t it? No-one has

The other evening I was getting

American Pie. Once he’s got his

a better track record of waking

down and dirty with my girlfriend

dirty little kicks from spying on

up next to nature’s rejects than

only to look up and find a

you, he’ll doubtless disappear

yours truly, so here’s my advice.

maniacally grinning face leering

back to his room to spank the

in through the window. Later he

monkey.

Dear Crystal, I’M being stalked by King Kong’s

Go for a drink with him and when

walked straight into the room

little brother. I woke up a couple

monkey boy nips to the toilet,

at a very inopportune moment,

He’ll regret that as soon as

of weeks ago next to a guy with

sneak out and buy the biggest

causing her to scream and fall

he discovers you’ve replaced

a face like a gorilla licking piss

bunch of bananas you can find.

out of bed.

his lube with superglue. If

off a nettle and more body hair

Then find a bus and tie your

than Teen Wolf.

purchase to the exhaust pipe.

you’re feeling very cruel, use The angrier I get, the more

hydrochloric acid instead.

perverse pleasure he seems to I guess everyone’s got one they

The next time you see ape-

regret, but this particular mistake

features, he’ll be chasing after

keeps haunting me. It’s got so

his rapidly accelerating lunch.

get out of it. What do I do? Nick, Darwin

Dear Nick,

bad that I’m starting to have nightmares about him swinging

If he comes back, call Taronga

THERE are two answers to this

through the trees to come and

Zoo and they’ll take care of it.

one. The first involves curtains

Do you have a pressing problem that needs Crystal’s attention? If so, e-mail Crystal via. editor@britishballs.com

JOKES TO READ BBM’S DAILY DOSE OF UK NEWS , VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/UK-NEWS

WHAT’S green, smelly and oozes out of a man’s penis? I don’t know but I hope it’s not life threatening. Jimmy, Edgecliff I SAID to my mate: “I just watched that f lm about the Nazi leader.” He said: “Oh what, the one with Adolf in?” I said: “No mate, you’re thinking of Flipper.” Timothy, Perth I’M A big smoker and asked my grandmother for “something Cuban” for my birthday. She got me a Che Guevara t-shirt. Clothes, but no cigar. Jack, Bondi Dear Sir/Madam, Your transgender operation was a partial success. Peter, Coogee I RECKON grannies give the best blowjobs. All that experience AND they can take their teeth out. My wife hates me mentioning it though, she thinks I’m disgusting and should concentrate on scoring goals for Man United. W. Rooney, Manchester

AN Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street juggler. The juggler notices they have a poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?” “Yes.” “Oui.” “Sí.” “Ja.” John, Croydon “WOLFGANG Mozart!” shouted a friend of the legendary composer. “What?” said Mozart. And then they were both eaten by a gang of wolves. Roger, Randwick ON a recent trip to Alton Towers, I went on the scariest ride of my life. The coach driver was a woman. Jimbo, Cairns SO 1p has been cut from petrol back in the UK. I don’t think ‘etrol’ has the same ring to it. Thomas, Brisbane BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SCOREBOARD ENGLISH LEAGUES PREMIER LEAGUE PlWDL+/-Pts Manchester United3018933463 Arsenal2917753058 Chelsea2916672954 Manchester City3015871853 Tottenham Hotspur2913106749 Liverpool3013611545 Bolton Wanderers30101010140 Everton309138140 Sunderland3091110-438 Stoke City3011415-237 Newcastle United309912-136 Fulham307149035 Blackburn Rovers309615-1233 Aston Villa308913-1433 Blackpool309615-1533 West Bromwich Albion308913-1533 West Ham United3071112-1332 Wolverhampton Wanderers309516-1432 Birmingham City2961310-1331 Wigan Athletic3061212-2230

Tables accurate as of noon Friday, April 1st, AEST.

LEAGUE 1

CHAMPIONSHIP PlWDL+/-Pts Queens Park Rangers38211343776 Norwich City38181371567 Swansea City38206121766 Cardiff City38189111463 Leeds United3816139961 Nottingham Forest38151581360 Reading37141581857 Burnley37151210757 Watford381511121456 Hull City38141410456 Leicester City3816715055 Millwall381412121154 Portsmouth3815914254 Bristol City3814816-450 Ipswich Town3814717-149 Barnsley38121115-1147 Derby County3812818-544 Middlesbrough3712817-844 Doncaster Rovers38111116-1844 Coventry City3811918-942 Crystal Palace3810919-2239 Sheffi eld United389821-253 Scunthorpe United3810424-3534 Preston North End3771020-2331

PlWDL+/-Pts Brighton and Hove Albion3825854283 Huddersfi eld Town3920109227 Peterborough United38206122466 Southampton3619893465 Milton Keynes Dons FC3919812765 AFC Bournemouth381711102162 Leyton Orient371512101057 Rochdale37151210957 Brentford3916716-355 Colchester United39141213-254 Carlisle United39141015152 Exeter City39141015-1152 Charlton Athletic38131114-350 Hartlepool United3914817-1650 Oldham Athletic39111414-847 Yeovil Town3813817-1247 Sheffi eld Wednesday3812818-64 Tranmere Rovers37111016-843 Notts County3612618-742 Dagenham & Redbridge37101116-1041 Walsall39101019-1640 Bristol Rovers3891019-3137 Swindon Town3971319-1934 Plymouth Argyle3812719-1833

LEAGUE 2 PlWDL+/-Pts Chesterfi eld3921126337 Wycombe Wanderers381810101164 Shrewsbury Town391712101563 Bury381711102462 Stevenage Football Club391612111860 Gillingham39151591160 Port Vale39161211560 Torquay United391514101859 Rotherham United391611121559 Accrington Stanley3814159957 Oxford United3916815356 Crewe Alexandra391410151152 Aldershot Town39121611-452 Southend United3814915551 Cheltenham Town39121116-1247 Macclesfi eld Town38121016-124 Lincoln City3913719-2346 Bradford City3713519-1244 Hereford United38111116-1744 Morecambe39111018-1443 Northampton Town3891514-742 Burton Albion36101016-1240 Barnet3981120-2235 Stockport County3981120-4335

OTHER LEAGUES

FOCUS ON... ITALY BY JINGO! We’d written off Inter’s Scudetto chances just a couple of months ago when they had perenniel retard Rafa Benitez in charge and couldn’t win a game for all the cornettos in Rome. “We can’t win the league unless you give me $100million!” whined the Spanish idiot. Fast forward to the present day, however, and holy pasta they’re only two points behind old rivals AC Milan with pretty much the same squad that did the double last season. See how that works Rafa? Inter have been near-unstoppable under the f amboyant-haired guidance of Leonardo and are still f ghting in the

Champions League as well. And we’ll give you two guesses who they’re playing on Sunday morning (Sydney time). That’s right, it’s Milan v Inter this weekend at the San Siro in a match that could well go some way towards deciding the fate of the championship. The whole thing was set up the week before the international break when Milan lost 1-0 to Palermo while Inter overcame Lecce by the same scoreline. A win tomorrow would put Inter top - a feat that looked impossible when Leonardo took over with the club 12 points adrift following Rafa’s stewardship. Well done fella.

SERIE A PlWDL+/-Pts AC Milan3018842962 Internazionale3018662460 Napoli3018571959 Udinese3017582656 Lazio3016681154 AS Roma301488650 Juventus301299745 Palermo3013413-143 Fiorentina3010119441 Bologna3011109-440 Cagliari3011613039 Genoa3010911-439 Chievo3081111-235 Parma3071112-1232 Catania308814-1532 Sampdoria3071013-931 Cesena307815-1629 Lecce307716-2128 Brescia306816-1426 Bari303819-2817

SCOTTISH PREMIER PlWDL+/-Pts Celtic2821434467 Rangers2721243665 Heart of Midlothian3018481658 Dundee United2912107546 Kilmarnock30136111045 Motherwell3011415-937 Inverness Caledonian Thistle309912136 St. Johnstone298912-1633 Hibernian299515-1432 Aberdeen299416-1631 St. Mirren295717-2422 Hamilton Academical3021018-3316

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

LA LIGA PlWDL+/-Pts FC Barcelona2925316678 Real Madrid2923424873 Villarreal CF2916671854 Valencia CF291667954 RCD Espanyol2914114-443 Athletic Bilbao2913313342 Sevilla FC2912611042 Atlético Madrid2911612339 RCD Mallorca2911513-838 Osasuna299812135 Real Sociedad2911216-935 Levante UD2910514-935 Getafe CF299713-634 Racing Santander298912-1533 Sporting Gijón2971111-832 Deportivo La Coruña2971012-1631 Real Zaragoza297913-1230 Málaga CF298516-2129 UD Almería2951113-1826 Hércules CF297517-2226

SCOREBOARD FOOTBALL RESULTS Wednesday, 30 March Npower League Two Accrington Stanley 4-0 Hereford Burton Albion 3-2 Macclesfi eld Scottish Cup Motherwell 3-0 Dundee Utd Blue Square Bet North Corby 0-1 Alfreton Town Eastwood Town 1-0 Hyde Gloucester 0-2 Stalybridge International Match Costa Rica 0-0 Argentina Mexico 1-1 Venezuela USA 0-1 Paraguay Scot-Ads Highland Football League Cove Rangers 3-1 Fraserburgh Formartine Utd 1-1 Nairn County Forres Mechanics 3-0 Strathspey Thistle Fort William 0-2 Clachnacuddin Inverurie Locos 0-4 Buckie Thistle Keith 2-2 Huntly Rothes 2-1 Brora Turriff United 0-5 Deveronvale ---------------------------------------------------------Tuesday, 29 March European Championship Qualifying Belgium 4-1 Azerbaijan Czech Republic 2-0 Liechtenstein Estonia 1-1 Serbia Israel 1-0 Georgia Lithuania 1-3 Spain Netherlands 5-3 Hungary Northern Ireland 0-0 Slovenia Romania 3-1 Luxembourg Sweden 2-1 Moldova Turkey 2-0 Austria UEFA Under-21 Championship Qualifying Andorra U21 0-1 Wales U21 Npower League One Dag & Red 0-1 Brighton Exeter 1-0 Swindon Rochdale 2-0 Charlton Sheff Wed 1-3 Brentford Yeovil 1-0 Carlisle Npower League Two Port Vale 2-1 Lincoln City Rotherham 1-3 Shrewsbury Blue Square Bet Premier Altrincham 1-1 Southport Crawley Town 2-0 Mansfi eld Grimsby 0-1 Darlington Luton 0-0 Barrow Newport County 2-1 Gateshead Tamworth 1-1 Wrexham Scottish First Division Cowdenbeath 0-0 Falkirk Ross County 0-1 Dunfermline Stirling 0-2 Queen of South Scottish Second Division Brechin 3-2 Alloa East Fife 3-2 Ayr Forfar 1-2 Airdrie Utd Livingston 5-1 Peterhead Stenhousemuir 2-2 Dumbarton Scottish Third Division Annan Athletic 0-2 Clyde Berwick 3-3 Stranraer Queen’s Park 1-0 Montrose Blue Square Bet North Guiseley 1-1 Stafford Rangers Harrogate Town 0-0 AFC Telford Blue Square Bet South Boreham Wood 2-4 Farnborough Bromley 1-0 Thurrock Dover 0-1 Havant and W Hampton & Richmond 1-1 Maidenhead Utd St Albans 1-4 Dorchester Welling 4-2 Eastleigh International Match Belarus 0-1 Canada China PR 3-0 Honduras Colombia 0-2 Chile Cyprus 0-1 Bulgaria Ecuador 0-0 Peru England 1-1 Ghana France 0-0 Croatia Germany 1-2 Australia Greece 0-0 Poland Portugal 2-0 Finland Qatar 1-1 Russia Rep of Ireland 2-3 Uruguay Slovakia 1-2 Denmark Ukraine 0-2 Italy Welsh Premier League Llanelli 0-2 The New Saints ----------------------------------------------------------

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM `

Monday, 28 March Npower League One Oldham 0-0 Tranmere Under-21 Friendly Match England U21 1-2 Iceland U21 Blue Square Bet North Alfreton Town 2-0 Solihull Moors ---------------------------------------------------------Sunday, 27 March Npower League One Huddersfi eld 3-0 Notts Count Npower League Two Cheltenham 1-2 Gillingham Hereford 1-0 Crewe Oxford Utd 3-0 Burton Albion Blue Square Bet Premier Wrexham 1-0 Newport County International Match Scotland 0-2 Brazil Welsh Premier League Haverfordwest 2-3 Bala Town FA Women’s Premier League Nottm F Ladies 1-2 Watford Ladies ---------------------------------------------------------Saturday, 26 March European Championship Qualifying Albania 1-0 Belarus Andorra 0-1 Slovakia Armenia 0-0 Russia Bosnia-Hercegovina 2-1 Romania Bulgaria 0-0 Switzerland Cyprus 0-0 Iceland Georgia 1-0 Croatia Germany 4-0 Kazakhstan Israel 2-1 Latvia Malta 0-1 Greece Norway 1-1 Denmark Rep of Ireland 2-1 Macedonia Wales 0-2 England Npower League One Bournemouth 2-2 Charlton Brighton 2-1 Swindon Colchester 5-1 Exeter Dag & Red 1-1 Sheff Wed Leyton Orient 1-5 Yeovil Npower League Two Aldershot 1-1 Accrington Stanley Barnet 2-2 Chesterfi el Bradford 1-2 Shrewsbury Macclesfi eld 0-4 Stevenage Morecambe 0-3 Wycombe Port Vale 0-0 Bury Stockport 2-1 Southend Blue Square Bet Premier AFC Wimbledon 1-0 Rushden & D’mnds Barrow 0-1 Bath City Cambridge Utd 1-1 Forest Green Darlington 0-1 Altrincham Eastbourne Boro 1-3 Kettering Gateshead 0-0 Crawley Town Grimsby 2-2 Tamworth Hayes & Yeading 1-2 Fleetwood Town Mansfi eld 1-2 Kidderminster Southport 2-1 Luton York 1-0 Histon Scottish First Division Dundee 2-2 Cowdenbeath Dunfermline 0-0 Partick Thistle Falkirk 2-1 Raith Rovers Queen of South 4-1 Stirling Ross County 2-0 Morton Scottish Second Division Airdrie Utd 3-1 Forfar Alloa 0-0 Peterhead Brechin 6-0 Dumbarton East Fife 1-3 Livingston Stenhousemuir 2-1 Ayr Scottish Third Division Arbroath 2-2 Stranraer Berwick 1-1 East Stirling Clyde 2-0 Montrose Elgin 1-1 Albion Queen’s Park 0-1 Annan Athletic Blue Square Bet North AFC Telford 1-0 Stalybridge Alfreton Town 0-0 Hyde Eastwood Town 3-0 Stafford Rangers Gainsborough 0-2 Worcester Harrogate Town 3-0 Gloucester Hinckley Utd 4-0 Redditch Nuneaton 0-1 Guiseley Solihull Moors 1-0 Boston Utd Vauxhall Motors 2-6 Blyth Spartans Workington 1-2 Corby

FANTASY FOOTBALL $1000 IN BAR TABS UP FOR GRABS! CHECK out BBM’ s fantasy league table at http:// fantasy.pr emierleague.com for all the latest r esults and standings. T able below was up to date at time of going to press.

Prizes

(in PJ O’Briens bar tabs) are: First: $400 Second: $250 Third: $150 Fourth: $100

# TEAM MANAGER GW

TOT

1 alovelycupoftea James Horrocks 56

1720

2 Dizzying Heights FC Siva Iyer 42

1668

3 Stop, Hammertime! Paul Steadman 74 4 every week you dan magee 63

1622

5 Alan’s Deep Bath jason kerley 53 6 Alcohol Fc Ron f 63

1662

1619

1582

7 TippytappyFC Richie Egan 57

1548

8 Mukin Fagic Luke Gately 51

1537

9 Rootin & Tootin Oisin Coveney 56

1526

10 Holy-family ‘B’ team Pat Mustard 39 11 Evertonian John Armitage 54

1521

1511

12 bobby dazzlerz tom mcelwain 62

1511

13 Red Incas Mark Stansfi eld 71

1489

14 ur ma’s athletic brian o gorman 62 15 Arsenal Brian Harvey 54

1482

16 Tallulah Neil Weaver 56

1479

1487

17 Ozzies Allstars *** James Osborne 46

1472

18 Lovely Football Team raymond doherty 62 19 fi sty cuffs fc Marc Roche 61

1467

1466

20 Insert Name Here Utd Richard Gadsby 46

1465

New Entry Ranking Increased Ranking stayed Ranking Fell the same

WORLD SPORT STRIPPED OFF THE TITLE CRICKET: Despite the fact England had their ass handed to them in the quarter-f nals by Sir Lanka, BBM’s interest in the World Cup remains high heading into tonight’s f nal – especially as one of India’s most popular models has promised to strip naked if her team wins. Phwoar!

TENNIS: Andy Murray’s excuses for being a massive choker are getting thinner after the tartan twat ditched his coaching consultant Alex Corretja. Corretja, a former world number two, had worked with Murray on an ad-hoc basis since April 2008. But Murray needed a scapegoat following his shithouse performance in the Australian Open f nal, which has been backed up by three successive f rst round exits.

“I’m a cricket fanatic and I’m a diehard supporter of my nation. India needs a lot of support and this is my way of supporting the team,” said 20-year-old Poonam Pandey, who features in a best-selling Indian swimwear calendar.

VET CONTROL

If only Cheryl Cole had been so patriotic for the England football team last summer, the bunch of overpaid shag-happy primadonnas might have actually pulled their f nger out.

FORMULA ONE: After bashing one out on the Australian Grand Prix podium, Red Bull’s Sebastian Vettel says he is not going to get carried away with his victory.

URINE A LOTTA TROUBLE UFC: In fairness to Thiago Silva he does look a bit like an alien, but that didn’t stop several hundred eyebrows being raised when his recent drug sample came back with the result “inconsistent with human urine”. There are a couple of other explanations why Thiago would suddenly start shooting out animal piss. The f rst is he’s some kind of UFC version of Teen Wolf, and that the sample was taken during a full moon.

“I don’t really like the word dominant at this stage,” said the 23-year-old while f exing his guns in front of some sexy ladies. “We had a very good race today, won a lot of points, and enjoyed ourselves, which is even more important, and now we have to take it step-by-step.”

WRATH OF KHAN

The second is that Thiago (pictured) somehow substituted animal piss for his own because he’s been abusing steroids and didn’t want to get caught. But surely that’s a ridiculous suggestion for a noble sport such as UFC?

BOXING: Amir Khan, affectionately nicknamed the Bolton Balltickler by his friends in the BBM off ce, says he will prove he is the best light-welterweight on the planet when he takes on Northern Ireland’s Paul McCloskey on April 16th.

Silva has been temporarily suspended until an April 7 hearing following the ‘invalid’ sample – by which time his transformation into a gorilla may be complete.

It’s Khan’s fourth defence of his WBA crown and the reward for victory would be a unif cation bout against WBC and WBO title-holder Tim Bradley in the summer.

HACKED OFF RUGBY UNION: Sport eh? It’s all fun and games until someone’s daughter gets infected with HIV after being gang-raped and her dad hacks three people to death with an axe in a revenge attack. No, really. Surprisingly, it’s got nothing to do with wrestling either with news, just before BBM went to press, that an unnamed top former South African rugby player went ape-shit 74

MURRAY ME?

TAKING THE MICHAEL mental following his daughter’s rape near Durban last week. The three people were reportedly butchered with an axe, with at least one of them decapitated after his head was found in a dustbin nearly two kilometres away.

And if you think BBM has got the balls to make jokes about that sort of thing you can fuck off.

CRICKET: Australian selectors have excelled themselves by choosing the only man less popular then Ricky Ponting to replace him as the country’s new Test and one-day captain. Step forward Michael Clarke – a man who’s batting has been woeful for some time now and who dumped Lara Bingle. Idiot. The far-more talismanic Shane Watson is now vice-captain in all forms of the game, but no amount of rejigging can disguise the fact that Australia are still shit.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

FOOTBALL

VIEWS

THE DEMANDS OF UNSUCCESSFUL MANAGERS YOU have to love it when managers blame everyone else but themselves when their teams are failing. This week it’s Gerard Houiller and Roberto Mancini refusing to fall on their own swords. Houiller has taken Aston Villa to new lows. And by new lows we mean they are facing relegation. This is a team that has f nished sixth for three seasons and the fans are not happy with what they are seeing. Since Houiller took over, he has put a strict regime in place which players are expected to abide by - like no one using mobile phones and players living closer to the training ground. OK, BBM can understand why players should live close by, but banning mobile phones?

of having to stay in the top four, or else he will be gone by the season’s end. What Villa fans would give to have this problem.

THE RIGHT MAN? Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini, yesterday. Surely phones can’t be as bad as Ashley Cole’s stun gun, unless there is risk players will use it as a weapon. Then there is Roberto Mancini, who is never more than a stone’s throw away from controversy. Here is a manager that has the pressure

Well, Mancini is now demanding another 100 million pounds from his Sheik bosses because apparently the team is not good enough to win a championship. If only Mancini would realise that openly criticising your own players in public is not a real smart motivation tactic. Until he learns some respect, we shall continue to see Baby Balotelli’s struggles with football bibs, stepping on players and his love for red cards, while still receiving a hefty pay cheque. If Spurs do get back into fourth place, then Mancini will be proven right – and he’ll be sacked. - Lorna Evio

QUOTES OF THE WEEK IAN HOLLOWAY SPECIAL “I can’t wait, because love or loathe him Jacko is one of those iconic figures. I know some fans are grumbling about the statue but I think it is terrific. He was a very special bloke and one of a handful of people I am proud to have been on the planet at the same time as.” Ian Holloway is in the fr ont row for Fulham’s unveiling of their Michael Jackson statue. No, really.

He goes on: “I’ve got a model of Ali at home, back when he was Cassius Clay, in that famous pose over a prostrate Sonny Liston. It’s one of my most treasured possessions and if I could get one of Jackson, I would. In fact, when we go to Fulham I’ll take a little hacksaw, smuggle the statue on the team bus and take it home with me. Mind you, what if it does go missing now? They will be straight round to my house. It’s not me, Mr Fayed. I won’t nick it, honest!”

THES Y L R A CLE OLLOCK TO! B D NOT DOGYO’US’D BE BARKING MA

COME AND PLAY IN OUR AQUATIC PLAYGROUND: Boarding, rock jumps, rope swings, waterslide, jet-ski sledging, & showers. BOARD WITH OUR TOP GUIDE DOGS!

NZ ONLY OR IF OVERSEAS CALL +64 (0)3 442 7797

WWW.RIVERBOARDING.CO.NZ

THE WORLD’S MOST PERSONALLY CHALLENGING RIVER BOARDING ACTIVITY. BOARDING MORE RIVER, MORE ACTIVITIES MORE VALUE THAN ANY OTHER OPERATOR…THE DOGS BOLLOCKS!

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

FOOTBALL

NEWS ROUND-UP

ROB’S OZ JOB THE A-LEAGUE’S applaudable quest to attract blossoming new talent instead of old Premier League players chasing one last pay cheque in the sun continued this week with the news that young hotshot Robert Pires has had an offer to move Down Under. “I’m prepared to retire in May if that’s what it comes to [to leave Aston Villa]. But I am also ready to go wherever an interesting proposition comes from, be it Qatar or the US. I’ve even had an offer from Australia,” said the 37-yearold, in a way that suggests he only mentioned the Australia offer for pure novelty value. LIKE the bagpipes they love so dearly, the Scottish Football Association are still full of hot air and making

THAT’S UNBELIEVABLE!

with ace pundit Chris Kamara

“SAO Paulo’s Rogerio Ceni became the f rst goalkeeper to hit 100 professional goals this weekend after curling home a free-kick to give his side a 2-1 victory over Corinthians. “Ceni, recognised by FIFA as the most successful hitman to wear the No. 1 shirt, was booked for yanking off his shirt as he celebrated the landmark goal. “It was beautiful,” he said. “As a goalkeeper you don’t enter the match thinking about scoring a goal, but it happened just as I wanted: with a free-kick, deciding an important match.” Unbelievable Jeff! More pencil-moustached punditry and footballing facts next week folks! 78

an ungodly noise following the unseemly banana-related incident in London last week. And that’s not a reference to what Greame le Saux and Sol Campbell get up to behind closed doors. Brazil star Neymar accused the Scotch fans of racism after the rogue fruit was thrown onto the pitch during last week’s friendly. Turns out a German tourist did it, and now the SFA are demanding an apology. We just hope someone throws some shortbread at Darren Fletcher this weekend, see how he likes it. A 25-YEAR-OLD German nutjob who attempted to blow up Borrusia Dortmund’s stadium this week was foiled after making one fatal mistake – he called the police to tell them what he was up to.

HARRY Redknapp’s knack of only buying players who score goals has come back to bite him on the arse with Spurs only having two f t central defenders heading into this weekend’s clash with Wigan, followed by Tuesday’s Champions League clash against Real Madrid. PROVING he really doesn’t give a shit what the FA do, Man United boss Sir Alex McTaggart has gone back to poke them with a big stick after yet more anti-referee comments. The Old Trafford overlord was given a f vematch touchline ban in March for criticising referee Martin Atkinson. But an unrepentant Fergie said last week: “I think the last few games we’ve had terrible decisions against us.”

WEEKEND FIXTURES Saturday 2nd April Barclays Premier League West Ham Utd v Man Utd Birmingham v Bolton Everton v Aston Villa Newcastle v Wolves Stoke City v Chelsea WBA v Liverpool Wigan Athletic v Spurs Arsenal v Blackburn npower Championship Leeds United v Notts Forest Hull City v Millwall Bristol City v Doncaster Rovers Burnley v Ipswich Town Cardiff City v Derby County Coventry City v Watford Crystal Palace v Barnsley Middlesbrough v Leicester City Norwich City v Scunthorpe Utd Preston v Swansea City Reading v Portsmouth npower League 1 Charlton Athletic v Leyton Orient Exeter City v Dagenham Notts County v Oldham Athletic Rochdale v Brighton Sheff eld Weds v Colchester Southampton v MK Dons Swindon Town v Hartlepool Tranmere Rovers v Huddersf eld Yeovil Town v Bristol Rovers npower League 2 Acc Stanley v Northampton Burton Albion v Barnet Bury v Oxford United Chesterf eld v Port Vale Crewe v Cheltenham Gillingham v Hereford United Rotherham v Morecambe Shrewsbury v Macclesf eld Southend v Aldershot Stevenage Borough v Bradford Torquay United v Lincoln City Wycombe v Stockport Scottish Premier League Inverness v Celtic Motherwell v Aberdeen Rangers v Dundee United St Johnstone v Kilmarnock St Mirren v Hamilton Sunday 3rd April Barclays Premier League Fulham v Blackpool Man City v Sunderland Johnstone’s Paint Final Brentford v Carlisle United Scottish Premier League Hibernian v Hearts

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

FOOTBALL

FEATURE

ACHTUNG BABY SCOTTISH football fans. Strange bunch. As last month’s cup tie between Celtic and Rangers will testify, they’re never happier than when they’re pissed up on Irn-Bru, haggis in hand, lamping the shit out of each other and singing sectarian songs. Then, suddenly, someone throws a banana onto the pitch and they’re all worried about their ‘sterling’ reputation.

point wasn’t Neymar’s two-goal masterclass in f nishing – it was the fact someone in the stands chucked a racially suggestive piece of fruit at him.

For those who didn’t follow the aftermath of Scotland having their arse handed to them by Brazil last week, the big talking

Neymar accused the Scots. The Scots accused the Brazil fans. The Brazil fans shook their tits

suggestively towards the nearest cameraman. And in the end it turned out to be a teenage German tourist who didn’t know what the hell was going on. “The youngster was sitting in the North Bank of Emirates Stadium, an area of the stadium which

was occupied by the off cial allocation of tickets to Brazil supporters, when he threw the banana onto the pitch during the second half of the match,” said a police spokesperson. “The Metropolitan Police is satisf ed there was no racist intent and have conf rmed that no further action will be taken.” In other words, his mum did him a packed lunch for the day, he ate the bratwurst sandwich and Milky Way but threw the fruit away. Where’s John Barnes when you need him?

...TOP FIVE FANS THAT CLUBS AREN’T PARTICULARLY PROUD OF... OSAMA BIN LADEN ARSENAL When he’s not going all Jihad on America’s ass, Osama Bin Laden is sat in a cave in Pakistan listening to the Champions League with his Gooner friends bemoaning yet another season without a trophy. “That inf del Wenger,” he wails. “In the name of Ali Bongo, why won’t he buy a decent keeper?” As the story goes, the world’s most wanted to London in 1994, man became a “Gooner” during a three-month visit ons. While there, Bin operati t terroris his for s nancier f court to ibly ostens s at Highbury Laden attended four European-Cup Winners Cup matche . and sat in the famous Clock End section of the stadium

MICHAEL JACKSON EXETER CITY Shamon! The maggot-ridden King of Pop arrived at St James’ Park (the other one) in a blaze of publicity in 2002 as a favour for Uri Geller, his spoonbending friend and former Exeter chairman. Unfortunately, Exeter were bad. They were really, really bad. In fact they were so bad they were relegated out of the Football League the following season. Surprisingly, Jackson never returned - although he was spotted at a few Under-15 games.

DAVID CAMERON ASTON VILLA Britain’s biggest cock claims to be a Villa fan because “the f rst game I ever went to was an Aston Villa game and so I am an Aston Villa fan”. What common man Dave forgot to mention was that he was taken to that game by his uncle, Sir William Dugdale, who was the Villa chairman at the time. Way to keep it real Dave. 80

BENITO MUSSOLINI BOLOGNA Chelsea and Man City have got it all wrong. If you really want to win a league title, don’t get a shady Russian billionairre or a bunch of oil-rich Saudis to bankroll your club, just make sure the local fascist dictator is a fan and you’ll be top of the table in no time. Mussolini loved his local club so much that he “helped” them win four Italian league titles between 1925 and 1937. Being bankrolled by the local Fascist administration and the head of the Italian Football Federation did not do their cause any harm either.

ADOLF HITLER SCHALKE 04 If Man United fans think it’s embarrassing counting Mick Hucknall among their number, spare a thought for Schalke. If the most evil man in history had a soft spot, it was for Die Knappen – his favourite Ger man club. And by the strangest of coincidences, Schalke’s glory era came over a dozen seasons between 1933 and 1945 – during Hitler’s Nazi regime – when the club won 162 of 189 league matches, scoring 924 goals and conceding just 145. In fact, from 1935 to 1939 they did not lose a single league match. Funny that. BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SPORT GUIDE 80

Contents PAGE 80 Football Feature: The fans that put clubs to shame. PAGE 78 Football News: Robert Pires off to Oz? PAGE 76 Football View: With Lorna Evio.

78 74

PAGE 74 World Sport: Former rugby star on killing rampage - allegedly. PAGES 72 & 73 Scoreboard: All the latest football results and tables.

BBM-602 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM