BBM Magazine Feb. 19th 2011

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- WEDNESDAY 2ND MARCH

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WEDNESDAY 6TH APRIL

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TUESDAY 10TH MAY

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PURCHASE A SYDNEY FC AFC MEMBERSHIP BEFORE THE 2nd MARCH AND RECEIVE ALL 3 GAMES FOR *$%!

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CONTENTS The Cover

Review

Regulars

OSCARS 2011 - 6 It’s time for us commoners to bitch and moan about the big decisions and, of course, the hosts - where’s Ricky Gervais when you need him?

MACGRUBER - 14 “There’s some pretty lowbrow

Interview

Sport

PADDY CASEY - 10 “There are probably things I should have been embarrassed about but I wasn’t, like trying to break dance at the Oxton Festival.”

UFC 127 - 66 After blowing the roof off Acer Arena last year with Cain Velasquez’s path of destruction to the Heavyweight title, the UFC is back for another go around, and BBM can’t wait.

Gossip Interview Wrap Reviews Soaps UK News Irish News World News Sydney Melbourne Perth Recruitment Classif eds Hostel Listings Crystal Balls Ask Crystal & Jokes Sport

moments (the villain’s name is Cunth) but hey, you BBM readers are pretty lowbrow at times too.”

JOBS & ACCOMODATION

6 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 30 46 52 56 60 62 74

MANAGING DIRECTOR John McMahon

john.mcmahon@what-media.com

EDITOR Ben Harlum

ben.harlum@what-media.com

SPORTS EDITOR Richard Gadsby

richard.gadsby@what-media.com

UK EDITOR Hannah Shakir

hannah.shakir@what-media.com

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INTERNS Stefan Zimmermann, Brian Weiss, Kara Christopher, Holger Synowzik HEAD DESIGNER Kylie Howard

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IT’S A SECOND CHANCE

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design@what-media.com

WEB DEVELOPERS Jess Comber, Luke Webber

NICK CARLE, SYDNEY FC

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CONTRIBUTORS David Mahoney, Deborah Jackson, Maddie Daniels, Alex Berwick, Hannah Beesley, Vanessa Higgins, Lorna Evio, Fernando Xavier, Bethan Hacking, Alexandra McIntyre, Jeremy Williams, Emma Mulliner, Hannah Allsopp, Ashley Moore, David Drummond, Sian Gammie, Alen Delic

WEB DEVELOPMENT ASSISTANT Shefali Khanna ADVERTISING AND MARKETING COORDINATOR Mary Atkin ADVERTISING Joe Smith

joe.smith@what-media.com

Donna Parry Dave Hudson James Marsh

BBM

BRITISH BALLS MAGAZINE

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ADVERTISING & PROMOTIONS MANAGER Tom Shakir PO Box 784 Queen Victoria Building NSW 1230

www.bbmlive.com info@what-media.com

ph: (02) 8231 7700 fax: (02) 9299 4966

facebook.com/bbmmagazine twitter.com/bbmmagazine

SALES AND MARKETING DIRECTOR Guchi Shakir PRINTED BY Spotpress

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GOSSIP OSCARS

IT’S time for actors to award other actors for acting (or in Natalie Portman’s case, having sex with Mila Kunis - easy work if you can get it) as us commoners bitch and moan about the big decisions and, of course, the hosts - where’s Ricky Gervais when you need him?

While we handed out our Golden Balls late last year (some would say we hand them out all year round), BBM thought we might check in to preview Hollywood’s Night of Nights especially since there’s Australians and Brits

in the mix, hooray!

Of course, we had to f nd somebody who knows their Oscar stuff - so please welcome the new BBM Oscar correspondent, Oscar the Grouch!

For those interested in the fashion and fails, Channel 9 will air the Oscars live at midday and replayed at 9pm. BBM will be livetweeting the awards, so make sure to follow us at @bbmmagazine.

WINNER

NATALIE PORTMAN NO CHANCE

EVERYBODY ELSE WINNER

COLIN FIRTH NO CHANCE

Ugh! Could we have a less predictable race for Best Actor and Actress? Natalie will be rewarded for her method acting - getting knocked up by the Black Swan choreographer and I just liked Colin repeating ‘fuck’ seventeen times so he gets the nod.

EVERYBODY ELSE WINNER

HAILEE STEINFELD - TRUE GRIT MIGHT WIN

MELISSA LEO - THE FIGHTER NO CHANCE

EVERYBODY ELSE I like an upset, and my biggest fans are kids so I’m picking the fourteen year old to win Best Supporting Actress. Sorry Helena Bonham Carter, you saucy minx.

WINNER

THE KING’S SPEECH MIGHT WIN

WINNER

CHRISTIAN BALE MIGHT WIN

GEOFFERY RUSH NO CHANCE

EVERYBODY ELSE After those tapes, I think Christian Bale must be related to me somehow. And what better way to reward a grouch than with an award for Supporting Actor?

Now where’s my Emmy?!

WINNER

DAVE FINCHER - SOCIAL NETWORK MIGHT WIN

THE SOCIAL NETWORK

TOM HOOPER - KING’S SPEECH

NO CHANCE

NO CHANCE

EVERYBODY ELSE I can’t believe the standout f lm of 2010 - Piranha 3D - didn’t get a mention! It’s a two-horse race here, but those oldies that vote think Facebook is a book of portraits, so expect the historical f lm to win.

EVERYBODY ELSE After the Brits didn’t vote for their countryman in the BAFTA Best Director stakes, BBM’s mate Tom Hooper has little chance. So The King’s Speech is the f lm that directed itself? Rubbish.

AT least he’s honest, but it’s a tad alarming that James Franco doesn’t care if his Oscar hosting duties suck.

“If I host the worst Oscar show in the history of the Oscars, like, what do I care, you know what I mean? I’ll try my best, but I don’t see any shame,” he told Vanity Fair.

Surely BBM isn’t the only one scratching our heads at Franco’s career choices as of late - he preceeded the Oscar gig with a stint on daytime soap General Hospital as a murderous artist named Franco.

The fact that he played ‘James Franco’, the Hollywood star who sleeps with a Japanese love pillow on 30 Rock is easily ignored because, well, Tina Fey is the Queen of the World.

Then again, at least he didn’t agree to star in Love in Other Drugs.

LAUGHING TO THE BANKSY THE fun-police known as the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have decided to stop the ratings bonanza that would’ve been Banksy accepting an Oscar in his trademark monkey mask.

“If Banksy isn’t comfortable showing his face on the Kodak stage, Sherak said, then the Academy isn’t comfortable having him on that stage.”

FASHION

Well we’re not comfortable watching then!

ible.

Look, it was bloody terr Oscar But you can’t tell me, rk the Grouch, that Bjo time wasn’t ahead of her with this dress. Bet she l wishes she waited unti inated.

Black Swan was nom

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Keaton Back in 2004, Diane to tried to use the Oscars in audition for the Penguin Shame the next Batman f lm. the ’s she she forgot that in exact same character every f lm she’s in.

e I don’t know what’s mor from terrifying - this outf t fact the the 1988 Oscars or !

Cher won Best Actress Geez, if they could turn rs back time I bet the vote that would’ve reconsidered

up to It takes balls to rock it the Oscars with a cred ’re card dress - when you like a costume designer r. She Aussie Lizzy Gardine e took “Don’t leave hom ly. without it” too serious

But Banksy will receive his little naked gold man if he wins, because he turned in all the off cial paperwork the Academy requires, certifying that he will not resell or give away the statuette.

They didn’t say he couldn’t use it in his art!

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

GOSSIP BITES

HOW Shane Warne bagged Liz Hurley is still a mystery.

POOR Rhianna. First her boyfriend smacks her around and now she’s being sued for dabbling in S & M.

First they get together in the most unlikely of circumstances. Warnie high-f ves his mates, f gures he got lucky on that one. So did we.

Come on now, she was probably just doing it to learn some self defence.

Then he cheats on her with either a soccer mum or a porn star- mixed reports there.

She forgives him.

They then rendezvous in Australia. And then in the UK. Now she’s been and gone after they locked themselves in his Melbourne mansion for a week. And we still know nothing. And if it wasn’t for Twitter we’d know even less.

As it stands she mostly tweets about her pet parrot “ping pong” anyway. And no, it’s not a euphemism.

We just keep on waiting for that sex tape.

With Warney, not the parrot. Or both, we’re not fussy.

Be patient.

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Renowned photographer David LaChapelle is suing Rhianna after the release of her latest video.

LaChapelle’s claims that the S&M clip copies the “composition, total concept, feel, tone, mood, theme, colours, props, settings, decors, wardrobe and lighting” of his work.

So the only original part is that actual song. We don’t blame him for admitting no part in that.

The video has been banned in 11 countries for its raunchy content. Not this country though, we watched the clip for research purposes and found it to be quite entertaining. She’s pretty naked in a lot of it. And someone bangs a blow up doll.

Just close your eyes for that part. And for god sake watch it on mute!

REMEMBER Flavor Flav? Is this guy still even famous?

His latest pathetic attempt at fame has landed him in a battle with the Clinton School District in Iowa. And no, he didn’t fuck a student.

Having never graduated from high school (shocking), the 51-year-old ridiculously large clock wearing rapper wants to have another crack at it. The reality show will have the very inventive title, Flavor Flav Goes Back to High School. It’s all very Billy Madison.

Flav said he is willing to pay students after class to f lm the show and encourage them to stay in school. Who smells a lawsuit? But the staff and students aren’t convinced. We assume they were expecting someone actually famous.

If it does go ahead we’re hoping it’s a lot like his last reality show Flavor of Love only with all the potential dates in school girl outf ts. Hopefully none of his seven children are attending Clinton High during f lming. Although it’s a high school. For people who got through the f rst six years.

So probably not.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

INTERVIEW y e s a c y d pad

the ont of e forefr t release th n e e u deb has b n g Dow Casey ince his Paddy usic scene s e’ll be comin edule h H c m . s 9 h the Iris Be It) in 199 tic recording - one (So ws hec Amen ur sho e to a but du erforming fo , Sydney and r, e d n p e U e rn b u ON o ly Melb JACKS r in will on Perth, ORAH aree c each in BBM’s DEB is h iscuss ne.

Brisba with him to d se shows. the up r t h fo g n u o ti ca prepara

How did you get your break into the music scene?

I had been busking a lot and playing some gigs and some people from Sony had heard about me so they contacted me asking if I would be interested in doing some demos. We just went into the studio and they liked the demos so much that they asked me if they could release them as a record.

How would you describe your sound to somebody unfamiliar with your music?

I kind of like to think of it as like James Brown or Bob Marley, but I think it probably sounds a bit more like Bob Dylan. It is kind of folky, I like a lot of Prince music so I think that maybe a bit of that comes across.

about but I wasn’t, like trying to break dance at the Oxton Festival. But it was a really good gig so I was break dancing because I was happy.

What are you most looking forward to about your upcoming tour to Australia?

Well I haven’t played there in like nine years. I just remember it being a lot of fun last time, the gigs were a really good craic. It’s a nice place, if nice is the right word.

What has been the most embarrassing thing to happen to you on stage?

There are probably things I should have been embarrassed

Paddy Casey Tour Dates: 24th Feb: Rosie O’Grady’s, WA 25th Feb: Prince Bandroom, VIC 26th Feb: Factory Theatre, NSW 27th Feb: The Zoo, QLD

COMPETITION Step-brothers Zack and Darren occupy opposite ends of an elite high school’s social hierarchy. At one of Zack’s parties, Xandrie, who has taken a liking to Darren, is drugged, assaulted and left for dead. After Xandrie doesn’t show up at school Darren tries to f nd out what happened.

When Xandrie f nally returns to school, it sets off a chain reaction with fatal results. Darren decides that if he doesn’t do something then no one will.

Darren plans out another one of Zack’s parties and soon everything is at the mercy of

popular opinion.

Wasted On the Young is only at the movies from March 3rd, and for more information you can visit the Facebook page at: facebook.com/WastedOnTheYoung To celebrate the release of Wasted On the Young, our mates at Paramount Pictures have given us a crazy 30 double passes to the f lm to give away.

To enter, visit the competitions page at bbmlive.com. You’ll get an extra entry if you’re a fan of us on Facebook, so get clicking!

© 2011 We Are Wasted Pty Ltd, ScreenWest Inc, JavFFA Pty Ltd and Screen Australia.

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BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

THE WRAP ADELAIDE’S Botanic Park will again be the stunning backdrop for a four-day celebration of music, arts and dance from around the world, as thousands make their annual pilgrimage to be part of WOMADelaide.

Lineup: Angus and Julia Stone, Afro Celt Sound System, Martha Wainwright, Imelda May and more.

When: March 11 - 14 Where: Adelaide Botanic Park Cost: From $87 for one night GROOVIN The Moo returns this year with another huge line-up of local and international talent, further carving itself a niche in the festival circuit by visiting areas outside of the major cities.

Lineup: The Wombats, Washington, UNKLE, The Go! Team, Datarock.

VIC: April 30, QLD: May 1 NSW: May 7, ACT: May 8 WA: May 14

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NO STRINGS ATTACHED $2

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A U S T R A L I A

$2

127 HOURS

$1

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KING’S SPEECH

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$22

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GNOMEO & JULIET

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KING’S SPEECH

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£33

TANGLED

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JUST GO WITH IT

$31

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JUSTIN BIEBER

$30

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GNOMEO & JULIET

$26

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T H E U K

A M E R I C A

$ IN MILLIONS HIGHEST WEEKS IN POSITION RELEASE

MUSIC

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Lineup: Includes Space Invadas, The Bamboos, Resin Dogs, Papa vs. Pretty, Lanie Lane and more.

When: April 29 and 30 Where: Hunter Valley, NSW Cost: From $110

RIHANNA

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S&M

LAST WEEK

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WYNTER GORDON

DIRTY TALK

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BLACK EYED PEAS

JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH

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THE Gum Ball festival is a boutique music experience with simple necessities. A weekend in secluded bushland, it’s like your mate’s backyard party - with some of the world’s hottest artists visiting for a beer.

FOR THE LATEST MUSIC NEWS VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/MUSIC-NEWS NOW! ...YES, RIGHT NOW.

WEEKEND WEEKS IN TOTAL BOX EARNINGS RELEASE OFFICE

FILM

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JESSIE J

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CHIPMUNK

CHAMPION

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BORN THIS WAY

LADY GAGA

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PRICE TAG

WIZ KHALIFA

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BRUNO MARS

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KATY PERRY

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BLACK AND YELLOW GRENADE

FIREWORK

A U S T R A L I A

T H E U K

A M E R I C A

ON BBMLIVE.COM THIS WEEK FASHION WEEK It’s that time of year again, the time the new Autumn/Winter 2011 collections for men are shown. Tailoring as always was prolif c throughout many of the shows, but we have a look at a pick of some of the best shows that appeared on the catwalks this menswear season.

COMPETITIONS BBM has teamed up with Icon Film for a DVD giveaway.

AFTER rocking tens of thousands of screaming fans at Melbourne’s Etihad stadium on New Years Eve, the planet’s reigning #1 DJ and international Trance superstar, Armin Van Buuren, is on his way back to Australian shores for another exclusive, one-night only affair that’s simply not to be missed.

Buried is a claustrophobic, intense thriller starring Ryan Reynolds and a wooden box.

BBM has two double passes to the Sydney show to give away.

For more details, f ip to the reviews section.

Let Me In is not your sister’s vampire f lm. It’s a romance / horror hybrid, and our fave of 2010.

ON Sunday February 27th, the Greenwood Hotel courtyard will feature a Calvin Harris DJ set with the support of the House scene’s heavyweights; John Glover, Matt Nukewood, Cadell, Ember, Steve Play, Ben Morris, Joey Kaz and Sancho, hosted by MC Losty.

BBM has eight double passes to the event to give away.

THANKS to our friends at Sydney FC, we have a Sony MP3 Walkman and a copy of FIFA 2010 on your console of choice (PS2, PSP, Wii or XBox 360).

This is all to celebrate a special BBM membership offer - Purchase a Sydney FC AFC membership before March 2nd and watch three games for only $45. Too easy!

TO ENTER ANY OF THESE COMPS, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/COMPETITIONS.HTML 12

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

REVIEWS UNKNOWN CAST

Liam Neeson Diane Kruger

DIRECTORRELEASED

Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan)

ONE of the most underappreciated f lms of 2008 was the amazing Taken. Those moronic slumdogs had nothing on Liam Neeson kicking ass and taking names around France to f nd his kidnapped daughter.

Well he’s back in this quasi-sequel that sees him play Dr. Martin Harris, who is stuck in a coma while in Germany only to realise, once he wakes up, that a man has taken his identity and - gasp! - even his wife doesn’t believe him.

Directed by Collet-Serra, who was responsible for another underappreciated gem in Orphan, Unknown is fast-paced but remains

RATING

February 17

In Cinemas (M)

gritty, using the dodgy German locations to create a real foreign atmosphere which adds to the mystery of the f lm’s plot. There’s a real intense, hard-hitting f ght scene that’s really well-f lmed and reminds me of the awesome f ght in From Russia With Love that took place in a tiny quarters on a train. It could be the highlight of the f lm, actually.

Surprisingly, the explanation for the identity theft is satisfying and not entirely implausible (especially compared to a crazy over-the-top car chase mid-f lm) which caps off a really enjoyable f lm that will help ease the wait for Taken 2’s release sometime soon. Ben Harlum

LET ME INBURIED

CAST

Chloe Moretz Kodi Smith-McPhee

DIRECTORRELEASED Matt Reeves (Cloverf eld)

RATING

CAST

Ryan Reynolds

February 23

DVD & Blu-Ray (MA15+)

Initially, the f lm has this real innocent feeling to it - you’re led into a false sense of security and then, bam!, you’re knocked out by a graphic death or an amazing car crash scene that needs to be seen to believed.

WHO thought something so violent and awesome could come from the Tremendous as a stand-alone f lm creator of Felicity? and as a remake / adaptation, 12-year-old Abby is a vampire, but Let Me In captures a haunting atmosphere, striking visuals and an not your Twilight sparkles-in-theengaging relationship to produce sun vampire. She’ll rip your head my favourite f lm of 2010. Go out off for blood. and watch it. Now. Really. BH

DIRECTORRELEASED

Rodrigo Cortés

RATING

February 23

(First English Film) DVD & Blu-Ray (MA15+)

immediately share his frustration and feel claustrophobic.

RYAN Reynolds as a truck driver.

Trapped in a box. For 95 minutes.

This ain’t Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place.

Despite the fact that no truck driver looks like Reynolds, he keeps up the intensity and hits a home run with a great performance.

Revealing any more would ruin what is a genuinely tense, surprising f lm. One thing’s for sure, you’ll be craving fresh air Thinking inside the box, the focus (and camera) is f rmly kept on Ryan and natural light after the f lm ends for the whole f lm which makes for - which is a massive compliment to the movie. BH a really unique movie where you’ll

COMPETITION TIME! BBM has three copies of Let Me In and Buried on DVD to give away, thanks to our mates at Icon Film. To enter, visit bbmlive.com/competitions.html - you get an extra entry if you follow us on Twitter! Remember, Buried and Let Me In hit DVD and Blu-Ray on Feb 23rd.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2

MACGRUBER CAST

Will Forte Val Kilmer

DIRECTORRELEASED

Jorma Taccone (Writer, Hot Rod)

FILMS based on Saturday Night Live sketches can either be excellent (Wayne’s World) or dogshit (Hello, The Ladies Man) and luckily, while it isn’t a home run, MacGruber is pretty solid.

Mocking MacGyver along the way,

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RATING

February 17

On DVD (MA15+)

Forte plays MacGruber with the cluelessness and knowledge that made the character successful on SNL - there’s some pretty lowbrow moments (the villain’s name is Cunth) but hey, you BBM readers are pretty lowbrow at times too.

It’s also nice to see Kilmer back on the screen, channelling his best Bond villain for a hilariously over-the-top performance. A true popcorn f lm, give it a play this weekend. BH

CAST

DIRECTORRELEASED

Katie Featherston Tod Williams February 23 Micah Sloat (Door in the Floor) DVD & Blu-Ray (MA15+)

AS somebody who laughed his way through the f rst Paranormal Activity, I’m probably not the best person to review the sequel (or prequel?). But our backup reviewer is a spaced out monkey so you’re stuck with me.

RATING

The second installment does a really good job at linking it to the f rst, with a bunch of characters and plot points that inf uence the f rst f lm’s events - it’s very Saw like in that way.

You can see why the two f lms are successful, they’re very wellcrafted and while the sequel is more polished than the f rst, it’s a really effective, scary ride for any horror buff to enjoy. BH

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SOAPS CORONATION ST. PLANNING his revenge for in a state, wanting to help her old friend out she says she can the vow renewal ceremony, Peter waits until everyone’s at move into the f at with them for a bit. What is Xin really up to? church, he then asks Lloyd to take Simon out of the church a Dev spots the new lodger, and few minutes before he lets rip about Leanne’s affair with Nick. demands more rent for the f at due to his f nancial woes.

Shocked, Leanne urges everyone to Becky’s furious leave and then when Steve agrees tells Peter that to keep Tracey she loves him on at The Rovers and that the after they return affair was over from Spain, and stresses to her months ago, that he’s only doing it so she not having any of it he forces doesn’t take Amy away, but Leanne to leave the village. how will things be with these two nemeses behind the bar?

Elsewhere Tina and Graeme are interrupted at dinner by her friend Xin who appears to be

EastEnders WHEN Darren struggles to look after baby George, he palms him off on Tamwar, he later picks up his son who’s covered in curry. With that he heads to Heather’s to get some clean clothes, but there’s no answer at the door.

Shirley becomes suspicious when Heather fails to turn up to work. Darren later decides that it is far too odd and uses a credit card to break into Heather’s, and is shocked to f nd her slumped unconscious in a chair.

Meanwhile Janine and Whitney’s money woe’s are

spiraling out of control, and when Whitney gets caught stealing 3 bottles of vodka, Kat sacks her from the pub, but when Janine f nds out she slaps Whitney.

When their landlord tells them they have 24 hours to come up with £800, Janine pretends to faint in order to steal Dr. Yusef’s wallet in the café.

Things go wrong when Whitney attempts to pick pocket a man in the square.

Things are settling between Kat and Alf e as as they reminisce over their son.

CAROL and Louie switch off all distractions to have a lie in, but Louie’s ex-wife comes looking for him. Louie ends up standing Carol up, in favour of an evening with Ingrid and their children.

TO READ BBM’S LOWDOWN ON FASHION, MAKE SURE TO VISIT BBMLIVE.COM AND CLICK ON FASHION

Yvonne offers her support to Louie, and Carol feels like she’s out of the picture, questioning Ingrid’s motives and her rush. She ends the week attempting to suss Yvonne out for information on Ingrid and Louie’s relationship - but will she get him back for good? Scandal!

Intrigue!

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HOLLYOAKS + THERESA and baby Angel are still in a bad way following their kidnapping, hope seems slim for baby Angel, so Carmel goes to pray for her recovery.

Whilst at the church she has a religious experience and talks to Calvin’s ghost and he says that baby Angel is with him.

When she returns to the hospital she is elated to f nd out that Angel is breathing on her own again, and with that she vows to become a nun.

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Elsewhere, Brendan is jealous when he sees Ste in the hot tub at the spa with Noah (the new gay in the village) and Ste is furious when Noah thinks that he is gay.

Warren forces dodgy cop Ethan to lie for Theresa when Riley starts asking too many questions.

Following more dodgy drug deals Brendan is furious with Doug when he loses £500 worth of gear, when Gaz comes up with the goods he recruits him as his new foot soldier.

Emmerdale DIANE’S devastated this week Henshall asks Katie to go away with him for the weekend. She as Doug goes to leave the agrees, citing the need for time village, f nally declaring her away from the village. When love for him. they arrive at the house she f nds newspaper When Andy hears clippings showing that Katie and his f rst wife died of Henshall are an arson attack. having dinner, he asks Alicia out for Katie’s worst a friendly meal. nightmares are conf rmed when Katie can’t relax with Andy there, Henshall takes her hostage. When the so an angry Henshall goes villagers realise what he’s up to, to confront him.

Prior attempts to negotiate Henshall brings the restaurant with the madman as his to a standstill and shocks behaviour becomes more Katie by losing his temper and erratic, however when they banging his head on Andy’s realise he has a gun, they are table, warning him to leave now and enjoy his freedom forced to back down. while he has it.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

UK NEWS THE DOG POUND WHEN a rotweiler chews off some kid’s hand it’s front-page news, yet these gentle giants of the facial-mauling world have a softer side that often goes unreported.

NEST EGG

Dog-lover Paula was photographed shagging the family dog by boyfriend Lee McCall who unwisely let the image slip onto the internet.

And it turns out they’re more lovers than f ghters, as a court in Liverpool found out this week when they sentenced 42-year-old Paula Mangan to prison for having sex with one.

A neighbour said they still own the dog, adding: “It’s disgusting. They seemed a normal family.”

Which considering they’re Scousers probably means they steal hubcaps as well.

SILLY SAUSAGE THE harrowing court case of a woman who tried to a sue a friend when she was hit in the eye by a f ying sausage has been dropped because (brace yourself for this) it’s too silly.

BBM was shocked as well.

And just to make the case even more ridiculous there was some Cluedo-style confusion over the choice of edible weapon used in the attack, as a chicken drumstick was also found lying next to the victim after the incident. If we were in the police’s shoes we’d bring in Bernard Matthews for questioning.

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The 48-year-old tool infuriated neighbours in Hull by listening to the Nutbush City Limits star’s greatest hits at deafening volume.

keeps an eye on the area. I haven’t caused any antisocial behaviour.”

BAD SIGN

Cremer has now had to pay a total of £34,000, including £5,000 in compensation for stress caused, and nearly £30,000 in legal costs.

SIMPLY A PEST

NUTCASE CITY LIMITS: Tina Turner, yesterday.

Bemused neighbours watched as more than 500 ornithologists queued up outside his house and handed over crisp £5 notes to catch a glimpse of the bird.

Simon Cremer, who runs a flooring business in Essex, made Mark Gilbert wear a sign sign around his neck that read: “THIEF. I Stole £845. Am on my way to the police station”.

“I have concerns on four points: public interest; the prospect of conviction; the dignity of the court and the prosecution process,” said judge Anthony Goldstaub QC.

“I was playing Tina Turner’s Simply The Best in bed with my wife on the morning I was arrested but it wasn’t too loud,” Gary told the Daily Express. “I can’t believe they arrested me just because I like Tina Turner. I am a good neighbour who

But that’s what canny birdwatcher Steve Akers is doing in Chipping Norton after a rare Oriental Turtle Dove set up home in his back garden.

A VENGEFUL boss who caught an employee stealing and forced him to wear a “thief” sign around Essex has had to sell his house to pay compensation for the former worker.

Ashly Brearey, 22, from Harlow was charged with assault causing actual bodily harm after the amusingly-surnamed Candice Whybrow, 24, was hit in the face by the pork projectile during a food f ght at his house party.

HAVING already been sent to prison once for listening to Tina Turner songs too loud, you’d think Gary Irvine would have learned his lesson. Apparently not. He’s been jailed again and has now lost his home as well.

WHILE staring at birds through binoculars and ‘twitching’ is nothing new to BBM, even we would baulk at paying a fiver to do it.

FINGERED A DOUBLE-HARD motorcylist who gave a speed camera the f nger while doing 48mph in a 30 zone because he thought he thought he couldn’t be caught has been f ned.

The unemployed fatherof-eight was jailed for f ve weeks for breaching an ASBO and has now been kicked out of his city centre f at.

Paul Collins was riding without a registration plate at the time and thought he was pretty much invincible. But his one-f nger salute gave police a clear view of him and he was later spotted on the same road in Southampton.

One neighbour said: “I used to quite like Tina Turner but I never want to hear Simply The Best again as long as I live.”

Off cer Mick Gear, from Hampshire Police, said: “When we visited him at home, the rider admitted the offence, telling us his mates told him he wouldn’t get caught.”

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IRISH NEWS CHINESE FAKEAWAY IF WATCHING Father Ted has taught us anything it’s that the Chinese are a great bunch of lads.

manner which I shouldn’t have,” he groveled the next day.

It also taught us that doing a comedy Chinese accent is not necessarily the greatest idea in the world, and that bit of advice is especially true if your name’s Michael Martin and you lead Fianna Fail.

“I was making a serious point about how Ireland is seen in the world as a leader in software. If anyone was in any way offended, I of course apologise.”

Discussing the positive impression of Irish IT and technology f rms at a breakfast meeting, he said of ministers and off cials in China: “They kept on saying to me ‘You Irish very good at software’.”

Fortunately, he stopped short of “doing the eyes” and ordering some “f ied lice”.

“I made a comment this morning in a

EVERY drivers worst nightmare is being stuck behind the dreaded ‘learner driver’ who tends to drive at about 10 miles an hour and loves to do the mirror check procedure every ten seconds, undoubtedly causing them to stall in awkward parts of the road.

To be fair, it was a pretty harmless comment that was intended to be accurate rather than funny but that hasn’t stopped Father Ted fans taking the piss.

“I see Michael Martin is out there being racist about the Chinese. The big racist,” said John McGuirk, an Independent candidate.

Hilariously, people seem more offended by the fact his accent sounded more French than Chinese.

IRISH THEME EVER dreamt of being a big prick like Bono (right)?

Well now you can.

The UK’s leading rock school is opening a college in Dublin this September, backed

by Dublin Institute of Technology (DIT).

The four-year BA honours degree programme is being introduced to Ireland by the Brighton and Bristol Institute

of Modern Music.

Some of the Irish f gures offering tutorials in Dublin include singersongwriters Cathy Davey, Ollie Cole, Steve Wall of The Stunning and former Therapy drummer Graham Hopkins.

“There was nothing else I

DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION

wanted to do, nothing else mattered,” said Hopkins, who ended up going to a drumming school in the UK. It will enrol 100 students a year, who will specialise in guitar, bass, drum, vocals or songwriting, while also doing music business studies. Other modules include ‘how to wear shades indoors’ and ‘trying to overcompensate for being a big corporate sell-out by trying to end third world debt’.

Unaccompanied learner driver and mother of two, Bukola Balogun from Lucan, Dublin, foolishly slammed on the her brakes at a green light back in June 2004 causing a bus to ram her car right in the arse, she was asking for it really.

The 35year-old complained of injuries to her back and legs as a result of the accident and felt the reasonable thing to do was to take the matter to court where she claimed that the lights were on red so she ‘slowed’ to a halt.

We think someone is telling porkies here Balogun.

When esteemed taxi driver Mark Quinn, who also was there at the time of the incident, reminded her that the lights were in fact green when she hauled on the brakes the court dropped her case and told her to do one.

IT’S Friday night and the new craze is for attacking immovable statues with heavy objects.

Well that’s what a man in Limerick thought when he gave the 370-year-old statue of The Virgin Mary such a hiding that it fell from its plinth at the Dominican church in Glentworth Street recently.

The man who is believed to be in his 20s and built like The Hulk (we imagine) was armed with a hammer and is thought to have climbed up and pulled the statue down with his bare green hands.

However it would seem that he is not the only one with a fetish for statue beating when in 2004 someone else also tried to topple poor old Mary but failed so decided to nick her crown and rosary beads instead. They showed her!

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WORLD NEWS

LADLES AND TIGERS AND BEARS - OH MY! A GUN? No. Dagger? No. Ladle? Check!

This was the thought process of 55-yearold Han Besau when she saw her husband was being attacked by a tiger.

Tambun Gediu was hunting in the Jungles of Northern Malaysia this week when he was confronted by a tiger. After hearing screams coming from outside, Tambun’s wife ran out, smacked the tiger over the head with a metal ladle and scared it off.

Perak state said.

“I was terrif ed and I used all my strength to punch the animal in the face, but it would not budge,” the New Straits Times newspaper quoted him as saying.

“I had to wrestle with it to keep its jaws away from me, and it would have clawed me to death if my wife had not arrived.”

A representative from the state’s wildlife department assured the community that they will chase the tiger deeper into the jungle where there are no people.

As you do.

The tiger attacked Tambun Gediu while he was out hunting squirrels near his home in a jungle settlement of the Jahai tribe, a police off cial in Malaysia’s

get your TAX BACK

Presumably they’ll be armed with other scary weapons, like a whisk.

Meanwhile, who the fuck hunts squirrels?

NEXT time we break our spine, we plan to rub patchouli on it and hope for the best. Maybe if Christopher Reeve hadn’t wasted all his time with stem cell research we’d know by now which herbs work best for rejuvenating spinal growth and which just leave a bad smell and possibly a rash.

Some Superman he turned out to be.

This is the approach taken by Vermell Mitchell, mother of a 16-year-old student Mazeratti who sustained serious neck injuries during a wrestling match at school.

Mazeratti seems to understand that surgery might just be necessary, but his mother, a practicing naturopath, refused surgery for Mazeratti, saying she would prefer to use herbs and a touch of massage.

“We wouldn’t want to elevate his blood pressure,” said the nice Doctor. “We’d rather give him shiatsu and snap his neck.

That way you’ll have to stay home, look after him and eventually you’ll die trying to cure your brain cancer with oregano.”

Okay, so no one said that. But they did assume medical custody and had the surgery done against her will. Apparently it went well. Shocking.

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WHAT’S ON Mardi Gras ‘11

SYDNEY

IT’S that time of year again and Sydney’s Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, Harbour ‘11 is back with a cram-packed line-up and all with the Sydney Harbour as an impressive backdrop! Going strong since June 1978 Mardi Gras is an extraordinary tribute to gay and lesbian culture and is sure to bring the celebratory spirit marching to town.

Line-up: Wayne G, Paul Heron, Kate Monroe, Johan Khoury, Troy Cox, Jessica Mauboy, Dan Murphy, GI Jode, Damien Reddrop, Johnny Blue Boy When: Sunday 27th February Where: Fleet Steps, Mrs Macquarie’s Chair, Sydney Cost: $115.10 (Concession: $145.80)

A Photographers Life BORN in 1949, renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz’s Sydney exhibition Annie Leibovitz: A Photographer’s Life 1990 – 2005 presents a vast collection of some of her most prominent work.

Starting her career as chief photographer for Rolling Stones Magazine in 1970 she was famously the last person to professionally photograph John Lennon before his untimely death.

Surprisingly when asked which was her favourite photograph of all her work she humbly replied the one of her mother, which you can see for yourself at the MCA. When: 19th November 2010 – 27th March 2011 Where: MCA (Museum of Contemporary Art) Sydney.

Cost: $15 (MCA Members FREE)

MICKEY AVALON From Mr. Right to My Dick, Mickey Avalon has disrupted the billboards worldwide for the past six years and more recently he has opened for the likes of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Ke$ha.

As a former member of the group Dyslexic Speedreaders he has shared the stage with the likes of Dirt Nasty and Beardo. Mickey uses his experiences to formulate his rhymes which makes him one of the more credible lyricists around.

When: Saturday 26th February Where: The Forum Theatre, Moore Park Cost: $45 LEGENDARY Brit Metal band, Iron Maiden’s 2011 World Tour hits Sydney this month. Set to play all the classics this one’s not to be missed!

When: Thursday 24th February Where: Sydney Entertainment Centre, Darling Harbour Cost: $145.60 JENNY MORRIS The two time winner of the ARIA award for best female singer will be gracing the stage this week when she performs at Lizottes Restaurant.

When: 8pm Friday 25 February Where: Lizottes Restaurant, Dee Why Cost: From $33

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HAILING from Columbia, South Carolina Toro Y Moi is at the forefront of the current “Chillwave” movement. Playing at the Goodgod Small Club he’s supported by Bon Chat Bon Rat this month.

When: Tuesday 22nd February Where: Goodgod Small Club Cost: $25 MARTHA WAINWRIGHT Daughter of the legendary Loudon Wainwright and Sister of Rufus, Martha clearly comes from a successful music family. Martha will be performing in Concert Hall at the Opera House.

When: Thursday 24 February 8.30pm

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MELBOURNE NEWS REMEMBER IPADS? EVERYONE remembers their school days right? Sloppy school dinners; Pogz, Pokemon cards, the creepy geography teacher who only gave the girls detention, ‘Biff and Chip’ reading books (just me?).

For the children of today iPads are about to enter that list as many schools start to include them as a luxurious alternative to the good old, inexpensive book - because small children don’t tend to destroy anything they can get their hands on...

Furthermore, parents have been urged by local police to engrave their tots’ iPad since many have been handed in at the station recently.

Leading Croydon Senior Constable, Julie

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NEED OLIVES! Simpson recommends that parents engrave them with the letter “V” and their driving license number so police can identify the pads.

“Those sorts of things are easily lost and quite often it is hard to locate the owner,” she spluttered, midway through a bacon double cheese burger with extra fries. And bicycles? Yes engrave those as well as they are the second most popular item down the station at the moment.

Basically “engraving” is the word parents or else Julie won’t be the only one in the police department riding around on a jazzy BMX whilst Facebooking on her suspicious new iPad.

LAST week a 38-year-old woman from Port Melbourne got into a car and hastily made her way to Coles for a jar of olives. So far nothing sounds out of place until it was revealed that she was in fact off her face and forgot she was unlicensed.

What a pleb.

She was reportedly driving like a maniac and managed to mount the curb while trying to park. Police were alerted to the kerfuff e and found her blood alcohol level to be at a whopping 0.284. Fail.

“It is unbelievable that this woman would put so many lives at risk... It is certainly the highest blood alcohol level I have ever encountered,” cried f abbergasted Senior Constable, Damien Vallas.

BBM can conf rm that after all her gallant efforts she never did purchase the olives, maybe she should have indulged in some internet shopping instead.

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27

WHAT’S ON MELBOURNE

THERE are only a few bands whose name is so well thought of that their sound crosses all boundaries.

While The Beatles and The Rolling Stones may be atop the list of uniform appeal, Londoner’s Iron Maiden could be said to be one of the few heavy metal bands to have cross generation and genre draw.

decade spanning career, their reputation for putting on the best live shows has never f oundered.

While their line-up has changed several times of their now f ve

WHEN: Feburary 23rd WHERE: Hisense Arena

TO BE born of a celebrity these days guarantees you pages of media coverage. However, back in the day, you had to prove that you had the talent to make your own mark.

However, a troubled childhood and the loss of her beloved mother, Judy Garland, saw Minelli take steps down the same path as her mother. Liza (On An E) takes a look at the f ipside of fame.

With an Oscar winning performance as Sally Bowles in Cabaret, Liza Minelli proved that her own star was shining for her own special qualities.

It really is a case of miss it, miss out as they hit Melbourne this week.

WHEN: February 20th WHERE: The HiFi, 125 Swanston Street

INITIALLY commissioned by the Sydney Festival, Smoke And Mirrors is the creation of iOTA and Craig Ilott, who rather than design a piece for the world famous Spiegeltent, instead let space dictate their piece. The result is part vaudeville, part fantasy, as the inhabitants of the f ctional world come to terms with who they are.

WHEN: Until February 25 WHERE: Spigeltent, Arts Centre

Having garnered rave reviews in both Sydney and Edinburgh, Smoke And Mirrors is the perfect piece to introduce you to the Spiegeltent’s stay in Melbourne.

IF Smoke And Mirrors is to present the dark side, The Freak And The Showgirl are the parallel opposite.

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In a world where the word ‘freak’ has numerous meanings, The Freak And The Showgirl does not serve to normalise those that might be outcast. Instead it uses prejudice in the form of comedy to make the word freak a focal point.

tain in a neo-burlesque world, the combination serves to show the world that life is only what you make it.

Yet all is done with a point – while the showgirl may enter-

WHEN: 25 Feburary WHERE: The Brunswick Club BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

(Trapez)

Only Melbourne show. Friday 25th of February Rooftop Party from 7pm

plus special guests Jamie Stevens Uone Steve Ward

Lance Harrison Markojux Volta Daniel Filipovic

Always free Always fun Corner Brunswick Street & Rose Street Fitzroy VIC

WHAT’S ON PERTH

PERTH International Arts Festival proudly presents Irish songstress Imelda May. The quirky singer sports a streak of blonde in her jet black tresses and cleverly infuses a combination of surf guitars with bluesy vocals, which makes for a perfect way of winding down the weekend.

‘TRUST’ is a prestigious theatre project by playwright Falk Richter and choreographer Anouk van Dijk. Together they create a world where hyper-capitalism is dominant and the notion of love is merely a commodity, all in the exhilarating form of contemporary dance.

When: Sunday 27th February Where: Beck’s Music Box, Perth

When: February 24 - March 2 Where: His Majesty’s Theatre

FOR the f rst time discover the world of a Speigeltent this month at Perth’s Fringe World Festival. With an inside and outside area, for three choc-a-bloc weeks you can feast you eyes on wondrous cabaret performances including; burlesque shows, musical charades, comedy acts and all this encased in a miraculous, carnival themed, wonderland built especially for the festival!

When: 4th – 26th February 2011 Where: Urban Orchard Cost: $25 (Includes free programs too) FLY BY NIGHTCLUB 1 Holdsworth Street, Fremantle

ROSIE O’GRADY’S 205 James Street, Northbridge

ROSEMOUNT 459 Fitzgerald Street, North Perth

DURTY NELLY’S 397 Murray Street, Perth

THE NEWPORT HOTEL 2 South Terrace, Fremantle

MURPHY’S IRISH PUB 43 Mandurah Terrace, Perth

ELEPHANT & WHEELBARROW 55 Lake Street, Northbridge

THE SHED 69/71 Aberdeen Street, Northbridge

HOTEL ROTTNEST 1 Bedford Avenue, Rottnest Island

FRI

HARRY DELUXE WITH SWING DJ CHEEKY MONKEYS WITH DJ JAMES MACARTHUR

SAT

MARCO & THE RHYTHM KINGS WITH ROCKABILLY DJ THE DAMIEN CRIPPS BAND & DJ JAMES MACARTHUR

SUN

PETE BUSHER & THE LONE RANGER WITH DJ ROCKIN RHYS

MON MARCO & THE RHYTHM KINGS

TUES

DANZA LOCA SALSA NIGHT / DJ AND LIVE PERCUSSIONISTS

ENTOURAGE WITH DJ GILES WED STUDENT & BACKPACKER NIGHT $5 BBQ & DRINK DEAL FROM 6PM THU

30

HURRICANE FIGHTERPLANE / THE RIPPLED SOULS WITH DJ JAMES MACARTHUR

Mustang Bar continues its support of original music on Thursdays - and the first offering for the New Year is the globe-trotting Rocket to Memphis! Having just returned from recording an album in New York and once again leaving Toyko in a state of disarray, this smokin' outfit has all guns a-blazing and hips a-swingin!

Supported by two of Perth's most exciting local bands - the amped-up rockabilly of Blazin' Entrails and knockout all gal pop-punk of Pigeon - expect a night of killer, catchy tunes, frenzied dance-floor shenanigans and plenty of hot, voodoo action!

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31

FEATURE SOUTH AUSTRALIA

AROUND ADELAIDE THE next time you have a casual conversation with any Australian, be it a spring chicken or an elderly, make sure you remember to mention the capital of South Australia; Adelaide. A simple inquiry about this place can turn into a travel suggestion guide longer than the Bible. Adelaide undoubtedly holds its own when compared to the capitals of Victoria and/or New South Wales (Melbourne and Sydney respectively), it may not possess near as many residents but the plethora of must-see destinations more than makes up for the lack in population (which after all isn’t so lacking as it ranks 5th in the nation).

Founded in 1936 Adelaide was named for King William IV’s German spouse Queen Adelaide. The history in Adelaide is as rich as the waters bordering it, so if lounging on the beaches of Glenelg is not your style, you can choose to visit the Aboriginal Visual Arts Centre (located on 253 Grenfell Street where entry is free!) to further immerse yourself into the Aboriginal culture of this unique destination.

If you are feeling like a few days mining opals and viewing the unique ex-mining caves that have been converted into residences, (for it is easier to sustain the high heat underground) Coober Pedy is the destination for you. Located about 850 kilometers from Adelaide Coober Pedy is a one of a kind worldwide sensation. The name of the town comes from the Aboriginal term Kupa-piti which translates to Whiteman’s hole. The Town is world renowned for being the best place in the world to mine Australia’s most plentiful gem the opal. The unique thing about mining opals is that 97% of opal deposits worldwide are located right here in Australia.

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34

FEATURE SOUTH AUSTRALIA

BEING a beach bum is never a bad thing in Australia and this totally applies for the beach suburb of Glenelg. Glenelg is a mere 5km from Adelaide Airport and boosts some of the best beaches in Australia as a whole not just the state of South Australia! Glenelg is a prime tourist destination not only because of its beautiful beaches, but also for the extensive selection of world class restaurants and hotel accommodation.

But maybe none of these things are for you and you are more of the wine tasting and valley tour kind of person. Well not to worry because South Australia has a lot to offer for you.

If South Australia is known for anything it’s the delicious wine that is produced at Barossa Valley. At the Valley, packages are available that include things such as a day of wine tasting, a valley tour and hotel accommodation.

Bushwhackers and desert trekkers do not fear! Dalhousie Springs is located here in South Australia. If being near the desert is your niche then you must take a trip to Dalhousie Springs, where you can f nd 60 natural artesian springs located in the Witjira National Park. Here you can even f nd a liquor store that possesses a 24 hour liquor sales license which we all know is essential.

Parents, the above options are awesome for you, but what about the kids? Well no worries, here in South Australia you can take a trip to Kangaroo Island. Australia’s third largest island is also larger than 61 countries!

Kangaroo Island is an ideal place for the family, from the Koala Sanctuary to The Seal Bay, from the white sand beaches to sand boarding in the Little Sahara, Kangaroo Island guarantees a good time for the family.

No matter the age or interest South Australia has a place for you and you will almost always be greeted with nice weather. You would be a fool not to look into, and eventually make, a trip to this awesome destination after reading this article or even better, talking to an Australian about the only state to share a border with every other contiguous state.

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WHAT’S ON SOUTH AUSTRALIA

GREAT SOUTHERN RAIL TRAVELLING by train with Great Southern Rail is quite possibly the most relaxed and comfortable way to see the major cities and stunning outback of Australia.

Whether it’s between Darwin and Adelaide on the legendary Ghan, Sydney to Perth aboard the Indian Pacif c, or from Melbourne to Adelaide on the scenic Overland, you can stretch your legs on stylish and comfortable trains.

On board you’ll f nd spacious recliner seats, a place to chill out on the lounges, a licensed cafe / bar and on-board shower

facilities. Outside, you will see Australia’s amazing scenery transform from the fantastic outback to exciting capital cities.

With Great Southern Rail you can travel between: • Sydney to Adelaide • Melbourne to Adelaide • Adelaide to Alice Springs • Alice Springs to Darwin • Perth to Adelaide • And Vice Versa Want to do it all? Then why not check out one of the highly f exible, hop-on hop-off rail passes.

You can choose from the Rail Explorer Pass, which includes travel on all Great Southern Rail trains, or the Ausrail Pass which includes travel on long distance trains throughout Australia.

The Red Service Day / Nighter seats are two-abreast reclining chairs that can swivel to face each other if you’d like to

36

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

socialize. You can enjoy the entertainment and information on the video screen or even relax in the Red Service Diner.

(Please Note: Daily fees apply on Red Gum Lounges.

Shower and lounge facilities not available on The Overland.

For more information contact Great Southern Rail: Website: www.greatsouthernrail.com.au Phone: 13 21 47 E-mail: salesagent@gsr.com.au

If you are in Red Service you have access to the Red Service Diner.

This is a great place to enjoy a drink or two while socializing with friends new or old.

You can purchase affordable, tasty light meals, snacks and drinks from the fully licensed Diner.

Red Service guests can enjoy more space to relax, socialize and move around whilst on their journey.

Fitted with comfortable lounge chairs and booth seating, the Red Gum Lounge provides the perfect place to enjoy the panoramic window views, meet new friends, or spend a leisurely afternoon with a good book.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

37

FEATURE QUEENSLAND

CAPE TRIBULATION PART ONE

*In light of the recent events along the Queensland coast, business s at Cape Tribulation is still running as normal and has not been effected in anyway* FOR a place that is named for the troubles it caused upon its discovery, Cape Tribulation is the optimum paradise for even the most cynical of travelers. Renowned for its tranquil and relaxed vibe it is a wonderland of ancient rainforests, idyllic golden shorelines and characteristically rugged mountains.

Found up in the very north of Queensland and only 100km north of Cairns, Cape Tribulation happens to be one of the most popular day trips on the East coast. Added to its appeal, during the 1970’s it was also a notorious outpost for hippies, interesting. Being that it is vastly covered in rainforest, when BBM foolishly decided to visit the Cape in the wet season (December – June) we were delighted when we were unexpectedly greeted by sunshine.

W should warn you now though, never go swimming in the sea due to We th the sizeable population of un-cutesy animals. It’s an even bigger no-no at night! Now, we have never professed to be geniuses, but we will offer a bit of advice for you based on some of our experiences. Drunkenly deciding to divulge in a bit of skinny dipping during the middle of the night will only result in an unwelcome visitor trying to embark into you n neither regions and no we do not mean Charlie Sheen trying to look for some wild late night action.

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Advertisement

Changes for a safer Fraser Island Make your visit to Fraser Island safer.

Driving on Fraser Island can challenge even experienced drivers. It’s easy to get in trouble when driving an unfamiliar vehicle in a difficult environment. Speeding with a vehicle full of passengers and a heavy load on the roof could easily cause a rollover resulting in serious injury or death. To keep visitors safer, the Queensland Government has introduced new laws on Fraser Island.

Now effective: • 80km/h on beaches.

• 30km/h in townships and on inland tracks.

• All hire 4WD vehicles must carry no more than eight occupants (including the driver) and not carry luggage on the roof.

From 28 February 2011, all hire 4WDs used on Fraser Island must also: • have all seats facing forward or rearward (not side-facing) • have a maximum of eight seats • have all items stored securely inside the vehicle – below the top level of the door frame • be fitted with seatbelts which meet Australian Design Rule standards.

• Wear your seatbelt or wear a $300 fine.

• Don’t drink and drive .

• Slow down and drive to the conditions.

• Do not overload your vehicle.

• Plan your trips so you’re not rushing for the barge or to beat the tide.

junior_QTR26646

A driver breaking these laws risks a $300 fine and (for Australians) 3 demerit points.

Stay safe

Tomorrow’s Queensland: strong, green, smart, healthy and fair Authorised by the Queensland Government, Brisbane.

Transport and Main Roads

FEATURE QUEENSLAND

CAPE TRIBULATION PART TWO To imagine a place as magnif cent as Cape Tribulation is impossible to do without taking the plunge and visiting it yourself because it’s outward appearance doesn’t begin to tell the whole story.

Buried deep inside the walls of the rainforest we were subjected to a tantalizing selection of activity which includes jungle surf ng, guided night walks, cassowary watching, as well as four wheel drive tours, horse riding, kayaking, exotic fruit tasting, river rides and crocodile tours.

As an added extra BBM went to the effort of testing the jungle surf ng just for you and can tell you that it is def nitely something worth experiencing. I can gladly say that although you are hanging dangerously high from the ceiling of the rainforest with a long drop until you reach the ground, the staff are all reassuringly friendly and of course, professional so you at no point feel uncomfortable. With the addition of zip lines you are able to move up and down the trees to your heart’s desire for a view that only few have had the benef t of seeing.

Cape Tribulation is a natural wonder not to be missed, jam packed with once in a life time experiences and intruiging wildlife. And remember, if it’s good enough for us at BBM then it is def nitetly good enough for you!

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FEATURE MIGRATION

STUDYING IN AUSTRALIA

BY JOHN MCQUAID

INCREASING amounts of European residents are electing to o study in Australia as a way of extending their stay for longer periods of up to two years. This is a great way of continuing to enjoy the notoriously relaxed Australian lifestyle whilst at the same time gaining some new skills and experiences along the way. And on top of that, there are a huge range of study options.

What Are My Options?

Some of the most popular vocational courses include Certif cates in Fitness, Massage and Sports Coaching: Brazilian Capoeira and Diploma’s in IT, Business and Accounting. But the great thing is that in most cases hardly any previous experience is required and college advisors are always there with useful tips.

Whilst most vocational courses require completion of only a secondary education, there are no age restrictions on student visas plus mature students are welcomed and encouraged.

Student visas typically allow you to work part-time, under 20 hours a week during term time and as much as you want in the holidays.

Courses vary in length from three months to four years, with a typical certif cate qualif cation through to diploma taking 2 years. The student visa is granted for the length of the course plus an allocated amount of time either side of the course dates for leeway.

What Are The Conditions?

Before you apply for the visa, you must be accepted for full-time study by a college in a ‘registered course’. A ‘registered course’ is a course offered by an Australian College listed on the Commonwealth Register of Institutions and Courses for Overseas Students (CRICOS).

UK and Irish passport holders applying for student visas fall under the Department of Immigration’s assessment Level 1 criteria. This means that if you have one of these passports you can apply for a student visa while you are in Australia as well as from home. But you must remember to apply no more than 90 days before your course starts as a condition.

As part of the application, you need to make a declaration stating you have enough money to pay for travel, your course and living expenses in Australia.

What Will It Cost?

Course fees vary but for many courses expect to pay upwards of $1,400 per semester (every 3 / 4 months).

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FIND A WAY TO STAY There are more than 140 different types of Australian visas

To find out which one best suits you

CALL JOHN MC QUAID For a free assessment of your options

02 9369 2400 Specialising in visas for: Employer sponsorship and skilled workers, Partners and Families, Student Visas with work rights

Call John or Narelle on 02 93692400 Email:info@arriveaustraliacomau Email: info@arriveaustralia.com.au Website: www.arriveaustralia.com.au

Westfield Tower Bondi Junction MARN 0324918

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

43

FEATURE MIGRATION

STUDYING IN AUSTRALIA PART TWO

Also, student health insurance is mandatory and costs approximately $35 per year per month. The insurance fee has to be paid in one lump sum for the term of the student visa, so a 12 month visa for one person will have a $420 insurance fee. The Dept. of Immigration Student Visa application fee currently costs $550 AUD. Where Do I Start?

Expect expenses for a 12 month period to amount to around $2,500.

This is for enrolment and the f rst 3 months fees.

In addition to this you will need to pay for a visa application and the mandatory student insurance. Lastly don’t forget that you will have further college fee payments quarterly.

A good registered migration agent can help you to apply for your f rst student visa or alternatively to renew a student visa or move to a different visa. You can f nd registered agents at: http://mia. org.au/ For information on colleges listed on the Commonwealth Registerr of Institutions and CRICOS visit: http://cricos.deewr.gov.au/ Plus you can f nd heaps of useful information on study and courses at: http://studyinaustralia.gov.au/

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BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

Call us on

1300freespirit migration@freespirit.com.au

Let us complete the

Migration puzzle for you

Put your Visa in safe hands ENS Permanent Residency

457 Business Visa

Skilled Migration

Partner Visa

Speak with our migration specialists today about how we can help you extend your time in Australia www.freespirit.com.au

0$51

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

46

ATTENTION ELECTRICIANS, CARPENTERS, PLUMBERS, LABOURERS, PIPELAYERS, EXCAVATOR OPERATORS, PAINTERS, PLASTERERS REQUIRED NOW PLEASE COMPLETE REGISTRATION FORM ON WWW.ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU OR FORWARD RESUME TO ADMIN@ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION ON CURRENT VACANCIES PLEASE CALL 1300 299 818.

JOIN ADVANCED LABOUR HIRE ON FACEBOOK FOR JOB UPDATES.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

49

:$17 72 ),1' $ -2%" Â&#x;OĂ?OÂ&#x;AĂƒcÂł Ă?–l–OlĂƒĂ?Â&#x;yĂ?Ă?ˆlĂ? -" `Ă? Ă˜Ă†Ă?ĂƒA’‹A›Ă? Â&#x;›Ă?ĂƒAYĂ?Ă?-ĂƒÂ&#x;ylÆƋÂ&#x;›AÂ’Ă?"A›A€l–l›Ă?Ă? ÆÆÂ&#x;Y‹AĂ?‹Â&#x;›

To apply for these roles please e-mail your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au

Sydney Jobs

Apply to tc@freespirit.com.au

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MEDIA SALES CONSULTANT $22 PER HOUR (6 MONTH ROLES)

CLAIMS $22 PER HOUR (3 MONTH ROLES)

Our client is a newly established on-line media agency seeking a number of experienced outbound call consultants to join their small but busy North Sydney media team.

Leading Australian Insurance company requires reliable travelers for contract role;

You will possess; • Excellent communication skills • Highly motivated individual • Strong customer service skills • Friendly personality This is a great role calling an existing client base. Full training provided.

• Must have Insurance Claims experience, Home & Content preferred • Strong Microsoft Office and communication skills • CBD location • Young and friendly team, nice offices • $22 plus super • Start now for 3 months with a view to extend to 6 months

COLLECTIONS $24-$26 PER HOUR (6 MONTH ROLE)

ACCOUNTS PAYABLE/RECEIVABLE $24-$26 PER HOUR

We have a fantastic collections opportunity working for a leading global bank.

Do you have accounts payable/receivable experience?? We have clients in the city seeking candidates for immediate start.

Candidates must possess the following; • At least 12 months experience in Collections (Banking and Finance) • Tenacious and hard-working • Team player Excellent opportunity to work in Sydney’s CBD for a prestigious organization.

The ideal candidate will; • Thrive in a busy environment • High attention to detail • At least 2 years experience • Ability to prioritize workload Assignments are up to 6 months paying $24-$26 an hour.

To apply for these roles please email your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au

Already have a job and want more money? Call 1300 freespirit to ask us about LAFHA.

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JOB LISTINGS AUSTRALIA DO YOU WANT TO WRITE about traveling around the Australians West Coast? This is a great opportunity to get your name in to print. This not a paid job, but other benefi ts are available like free activities or accommodation as you travel.

Well established magazine now ten years old. Please apply to: guchi.shakir@what-media. com

JUST CUTS are seeking fully qualifi ed hairdressers, friendly and interactive professionals who pride themselves in doing quality cuts every time.

If you love working in a team environment and are looking for a new exciting challenge email Maxine.mm@ optusnet. com.au or ph 0734919626.

Salons around Australiagreat chances to move around the country!

MELBOURNE

PROMOTIONAL STAFF. call centre work available to promote electricity and gas. simple work and great money. full time training provided - no experience needed. melbourne work only. call jerry on 03 9867 6322 FLAUNT IT! We are the leading producers of creative nude photography, and are looking for amateur models 18 + to smash the stereotypes. Earn 500+ cash on your own terms. Fun, safe women run company. Call Rebecca 03 9495 6555

SYDNEY Call Centre - Travellers Wanted!

Our Client is seeking travellers with fantastic customer service and sale skills for a 6-8 temp assignment. Your role will be generating leads on behalf of a well established global client through warm and cold calling.

Paying $22 Plus Super If you think you are right for the role then please send your detailed resume to tc@freespirit.com.au

INDUSTRIOUS RECRUITMENT

is currently looking for casual staff with experience in: Warehousing, Labouring, Stores, Process Work, Green card and safety boots are an advantage – however not essential! Various assignments, short & long term!

Email sarah@ industriousrecruitment.com.au or contact Sarah @ (02) 9270 5257 DATA ENTRY OFFICER – TRAVELLERS WELCOME!!

Our Client is seeking an experienced Data Entry Offi cer with the following criteria: Minimum of 1 year work experience. English fl uency. Travellers with more than 3 months visa validity. Not on Student Visa. If you believe you are the right candidate for this role please forward your resume through to mailto:tc@freespirit.com.au

HAIRDRESSER REQUIRED

NO WEEKENDS!!!

Flexible Hours - Busy City Salon - Great Salary - Travellers Welcome CONTACT SUE ON 0409 091 343 OR (02) 9299 4748 email: sydneyhairandbeauty@ yahoo.com www.sydneyhairandbeauty.com

TO ADVERTISE CALL

ON (02) 8231 7701

SALES EXECUTIVE DO WANT TO SETTLE DOWN IN AUSTRALIA? DO YOU LOVE SELLING? • Generous package • An opportunity to become an Australian permanent resident and eventually a citizen!

• Fantastic full-time sales role with growth potential • Both face-to-face & call centre positions!

• Complete training available • Assistance with your visa We are a privately owned media company experiencing growth year on year. We require LOUD, FUN & SMART individuals to join our young & dynamic team to work out of our West Sydney and Inner West Sydney offi ces As Sales Executive you will be selling to medium sized local businesses and organisations, gradually building strong relationships with your portfolio of clients. We want to see your great selling skills and your original ideas and marketing solutions. If you have a professional attitude and presentation, then email your resume and a cover letter to

resumes@internode.on.net 52

BBM-596 // JOB LISTINGS

ADULT EMPLOYMENT -BEJFT SFR (VBSBOUFFE #VTJFTU E E #FTU 3BUF JO 4ZEOFZ 63(&/5 &"3/ , 1&3 4)*'5 1"*% %"*-: /P FYQFSJFODF SFRVJSFE GVMM USBJOJOH BOE GSFF BDDPNNPEBUJPO ,JOH 4U /FXUPXO 4U 1FUFST

XXX BNPSF DPN BV

TO ADVERTISE CALL

Behind each successful woman is-HERSELF!!!

Training provided Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Foxtel and internet access for staff Friendly Female management Located in the heart of Sydney Earn $150+ per hour

NO SEX

www.sirs.com.au 80 ERSKINE ST. SYDNEY CBD

Female Masseurs Required $115 p/hr Full Training Provided Immediate Start Flexible Shifts Fun & Friendly Girls Team

92997771 ON (02) 8231 7701

(02) 96990055 NIRVANA 400 Cleveland St, Surry Hills www.nirvanasydney.com.au

GOOD GIRLS GO TO HEAVEN!!

BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE!!

Female Masseurs required $115 p/hr Full training provided Immediate Start Flexible shifts Fun & friendly girls team

(02) 9357 6145 AT MICHELLES

135 Bayswater Rd Rushcutters Bay www.atmichelles.com

KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning.

Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.)

There is a map to guide you to us.

Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road.

261 Parramatta Rd Broadway 02 9660 0666 www.kingscourt.com.au

BBM-596 // JOB LISTINGS

53

JOB LISTINGS

#0%:-*/& .FMCPVSOF 1$" 1$"

:&4 8& /&&% :06 #VTZ )JHI $MBTT BOE 8FMM FTUBCMJTIFE DFOUSF +VTU %SPQ JO BOE HFU TUBSUFE $BMM

54

BBM-596 // JOB LISTINGS

ACCOMMODATION SYDNEY

MELBOURNE BONDI JUNCTION. CHEAPER THAN A DORM: Walking distance to Cock and Bull and Tea Gardens. Rooms available: Singles, doubles, triples and quads. All bills inc. All rooms include kitchenette, fridge, microwave.

Laundry. Spotless. Near transport.

Oxford Court Accommodation. From $120pppw. 170 Oxford Street, Woollahra. Call 9327 2233 / 0412 547 840.

Looking for excellent accommodation at the best location in Sydney. The Porterhouse have dorms in the heart of the city. Dorm beds single $40 per night or $180 per week, double rooms $80 per night OR $320 per week. Call 02 9211 4454 for details

DARLINGHURST BUDGET. NEWLY RE-FURBISHED SHARE ACCOMMODATION - Rear of 433 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst.

Corner of West Street. Central location, close to all amenities yet quiet. $160 P/P P/W + $200 Bond. All bills + WIRELESS INTERNET included.

Fully furnished rooms in share house. 7 rooms - 2, 3 or 4 person share. Laundry, Kitchen, lounge/TV room. For appointment to view call Louise between 9am-7pm on 0402 034 119.

FULLY FURNISHED MODERN APARTMENTS TRENDY ACLAND STREET ST. KILDA

Suit singles, couples, 2/4 share.

Rooms, Studios, Units.

Short to medium term rentals.

From $200 to $450 per week.

Share from $100 pp weekly.

All-inclusive. Well-equipped.

Large courtyard, BBQ, security.

Close to trams, shops, beach, tourist spots, Luna Park.

Call Sunday to Friday 0425 803 276 or 0425 790 566

Potts Point – CLOSE TO CITY. Large Studio in garden complex.

Close to Kings Cross station. Suitable for a couple. Fully furnished and equipped with everything you need including TV, linen, crockery, microwave etc. $395pw. Call 0425286445

TO ADVERTISE CALL

ON (02) 8231 7701

BBM-596 // ACCOMMODATION

55

ACCOMMODATION GUIDE NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY

SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) Fax: 02 9266 0017 www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly office@clovellyhotel.com.au Reservation numbers: (02) 9665 1214 www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 manager@criterionhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au WESTEND BACKPACKERS 412 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW, 2000 Freecall: 1800 013 186 Phone: 02 9211 4588 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.westendbackpackers.com See the CHURCH - Australia’s largest dorm!

JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 FREE: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 1800 304 660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 FREECALL: 1800 806 384 Ph/Fax: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St, Woolloomooloo NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off!

(Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)

THE GEORGE STREET HOTEL 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Tel: 02 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Freecall: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph +61 2 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au CASA RADIANTE 373 - 375 Bulwara Road, Ultimo Sydney, NSW, 2007 Ph: 0412692824 or 0404 246 003 STRAND HOTEL 99 William St Darlinghurst, Sydney 2010 Ph: 02 93606910 www.strandhotel.com.au www.strandedinsydney.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: 02 96001736 www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au www.strandedinsydney.com.au

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PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92114454 www.Porterhouse.com.au info@porterhouse.com.au

Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.

LIDO SUITES 2 Roslyn Street, Kings Cross, Sydney, 2011 Ph: 02 8354 0956 Toll Free: 1800 060 954 Fax: 02 9360 5670 kcsuites@leisureinnhotels.com www.leisureinnhotels.com Modern, boutique studio rooms located in the hub of Kings Cross’ non-stop energy and within easy reach of all Sydney’s best attractions.

BIG HOSTEL 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: 1800 212 244 02 92816030 Fax: 02-9281-6031 www.bighostel.com reception@bighostel.com KANGA HOUSE BACKPACKERS 141 Victoria St, Kings Cross NSW 2011 FREECALL 1800 4 KANGA Ph: 9357 7897 Fax: 8354 0439 info@kangahouse.com.au www.kangahouse.com.au HAPPY CHAPPY TRAVELLERS INN 64 Foveaux St, Surry Hills Ph: 02 9211 4945 Fax: 02 9212 6662 www.excelsiorhotel.com info@excelsiorhotel.com.au

MAZE BACKPACKERS 417 Pitt St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 1800 813 522 www.mazebackpackers.com SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL

428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 (02) 9211 7323 Open Daily 8am-11pm www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au

THE ROYAL HOTEL

370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: 02 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au

SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 Fax: -61 2 9981 1114 www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year.

Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire

SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES CRONULLA BEACH YHA 40 - 42 Kingsway, Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au

PORT STEPHENS

MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph/fax: (61) 2 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com

NEWCASTLE

BACKPACKERS NEWCASTLE 42 & 44 Denison St, Newcastle, NSW, 2303 Freecall: 1800 - 33 34 36 (NSW) Ph: 02 4969 3436 info@backpackersnewcastle.com.au

BUNK 11-21 Gipps St Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free Call: 1800 682 865

HUNTER VALLEY

GOLDCOAST

HUNTER VALLEY YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au

KATOOMBA

KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN BACKPACKERS LODGE 31 Lurline st Katoomba Ph: 4782 3933 www.katoombabackpackers.com.au/ stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!

JINDABYNE

SNOWY MOUNTAIN BACKPACKERS Ph: 1800 333 468 7-8 Gippsland St. Jindabyne NSW 2627 Fax: 02 6456 1511 backpack@snowy.net.au www.snowybackpackers.com.au

BYRON BAY

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 T/F Ph: 1800 028 909 Ph; (02) 6685-7663 Fax: (02) 6685-7439 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Freecall: 1800 766 673 Phone: 02 6680 7966 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Newest backpackers in town – not to be missed!

ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey

NAMBUCCA HEADS

NAMBUCCA BACKPACKERS Nambucca Backpackers, 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au

LAKE TABOURIE

LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie

QUEENSLAND BRISBANE

TINBILLY TRAVELLERS 466 George St Brisbane City, Qld 4000 www.tinbilly.com Ph: +61 7 3238 5888 Free Call 1800 44 66 46 Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad BASE QLD BACKPACKERS 308 Edward st Brisbane qld 4000 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Ph: 0732112433

AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Freecall 1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT 6 Beach Road, Surfers Paradise (next to the bus transit centre) Ph: 1800 074 393 www.islander.com.au res@islander.com.au SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise 4217, QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 Fax: 07-5592-5266 www.sleepinginn.com.au info@sleepinginn.com.au GET EXCITED ABOUT WHERE YOU SLEEP! COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets, Coolangatta 4225 Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RESORT 2837 Gold Coast Highway Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Freecall - 1800 282 800 www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au

spbr@bigpond.net.au

CALOUNDRA

CALOUNDRA CITY BACKPACKERS 84 Omrah Avenue Caloundra, Sunshine Coast Queensland, Phone: 61 7 5499 7655 www.caloundracitybackpackers.com.au

MOOLOOLABA

MOOLOOLABA BACKPACKERS 75 Brisbane Rd Mooloolaba QLD (07) 5444 3399 www.mooloolababackpackers.com

MACKAY

GECKO’S REST 34 Sydney st Mackay QLD 4740 Ph: 07 49441230 www.geckorest.com.au info@geckorest.com.au

NOOSA

NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com

HERVEY BAY

NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com

TOWN OF 1770 (Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton)

COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770 Queensland, 4677 Ph: 1800 227 660 www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (BACKPACKERS) 2694 round hill rd, agnes water, 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water Queensland 4677 Australia Ph: 07 4974 7200 www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au

CAIRNS NOMADS CAIRNS 341 Lake Street Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 737 736 bookings@nomadscairns.com nomadshostels.com Stay 4 nights, pay only 3! Or $5 off 1st night with this ad.

NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 175 716 Ph: 07 4031 7477 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com nomadshostels.com Free Breakfast, Free Dinner, and 15 minutes Internet Free

GLOBETROTTERS INTERNATIONAL 154-156 Lake st Cairns City 1800 22 55 87 info@globetrottersinternational.com.au www.globetrottersinternational.com.au A GREAT NIGHT SLEEP GUARANTEED GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Free phone: 1800 556 995 www.gilligans.com.au NOMADS CAIRNS BEACH HOUSE 239 Sheridan Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Tel: 1800 229 228 or (07) 4041 0431 bookings@nomadsbeachhouse.com www.nomadsworldhotels.com Dorm from just $12 THE NORTHERN GREENHOUSE 117 Grafton Street Cairns QLD 4000 Ph: 1800 000 541 northern@friendlygroup.com.au www.northerngreenhouse.com.au JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Bookings - 1800 666 336 Reception - (07) 4051 7642 Fax - (07) 4051 7223 www.jjsbackpackers.com jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au

MISSION BEACH

ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS MISSION BEACH

28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Freecall: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach Queensland, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 Fax: 07 4068 8520 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au

BBM-596 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

B

CAPE TRIBULATION PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Lot 11 Cape Tribulation Road, Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com

WHITSUNDAYS

BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage Whitsundays, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 075 125 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 9400 Availability and Rates: barefootlodge.bookconfirm.com longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

AIRLIE BEACH

MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd 4802 Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: +61 7 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free call: 1800 624 634 www.magnums.com.au CLUB CROCODILE Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, Australia Freecall: 1800 075 151 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 7155 Availability and Rates: Club Crocodile Airlie Beach Bookings airliebeach@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

CAPE TRIBULATION FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE

Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, Australia Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

RAINBOW BEACH

PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!

DINGOS BACKPACKER RESORT 20 Spectrum Street, Rainbow Beach QLD 4581 FREECALL: 1800 103 823 www.dingosresort.com 3day/2night Selfguided camping Fraser Island Safari PLUS 2 nights at Dingos Resort $219 NO HIDDEN EXTRAS and FREE Pancake breakfast with every stay!!!

WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH

WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com

PERTH RAINBOW LODGE 133 Summers St. Perth, WA Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au

ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au MAD CAT BACKPACKERS 55-63 Stirling Street Perth, Western Australia, WA 6000 Ph: (0)8 9228 4966

madcat@madcatbackpackers.com.au

www.madcatbackpackers.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com ROYAL HOTEL 531 Wellington Street, Perth Western 6000 Ph: 08 9338 5100 wentpert@fc-hotels.com.au www.royalhotelperth.com.au YMCA ACCOMMODATION JEWELL HOUSE 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 email: jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS 1 Eric Street , Cottesloe Perth W/A 6011 Ph: 08 9384 5111 backpackers@obh.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 Fax: (08) 9228 3744 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce , Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St. Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com

MONKEY MIA

TOWN SHOP Ross St Mall, Maidstone Cresent, Exmouth, Western Australia FREECALL: 1800 224 060

MONKEY MIA

MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au

BBM-596 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

KUNUNURRA

KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 22 Nutwood Crescent Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au

VICTORIA MILDURA

RIVERBOAT BUNGALOW BACKPACKERS (Part of Working Hostels Mildura group) 27 Chaffey Ave Mildura, Victoria 3500 Tel: 0447 WORKER (0447 967 537) info@workinghostels.com.au www.workinghostels.com.au REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704

HALLS GAP

BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, Victoria, 3381 Ph: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au

www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.

MELBOURNE

GLOBAL BACKPACKERS 238 Victoria St (cnr Elizabeth St) Nth Melbourne, Vic, 3051 (opposite Queen Vic Market)

Freecall: 1800 700 478 globalhostel@yahoo.com.au www.globalbackpackers.com.au Best kept secret in town - small, simple, centrally located. $20 dorms Decent accommodation cheap!

EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 MELBOURNE METRO YHA

78 Howard Street North Melbourne 3051 Phone: (+613) 9329 8599 Web: www.yha.com.au Email: melbmetro@yhavic.org.au NOMADS MELBOURNE

196-198 A’Beckett Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 44 77 62 Phone: 03 9328 4383 bookings@nomadsmelbourne.com nomadshostels.com

Funkiest backpackers in Melbourne – come enjoy a drink in industry bar/lounge. On us!!Yay

EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 Fax: 03 9663 2248 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com

$5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 Fax: 03 9620 5101 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au

Australia THE SPENCER BACKPACKERS 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only).

KING STREET BACKPACKERS 197-199 King Street Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: (03) 9670 1111 1800 671 115 info@kingstreetbackpackers.com.au www.kingstreetbackpackers.com.au MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS

450 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 Fax: 03 9662 4077 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au THE GREENHOUSE BACKPACKER 228 Flinders Lane Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: 1800 249 207 greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au www.greenhousebackpacker.com.au MELBOURNE OASIS YHA 76 Chapman St. North Melbourne VIC Ph: 03 9328 3595 oasis@yhavic.org.au http://www.yha.com.au

Inviting all British Balls enthusiasts to check out Melbourne’s completely BUNK FREE hostel.

Guaranteeing a good nights sleep! Foxtel TV & free swimming pool pass. Beds start at $27.

HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider VICTORIA HALL ACCOMMODATION 380 Russell Street Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au PINT ON PUNT 42 Punt Road Windsor 3181 Melbourne, Victoria Australia Ph: 03 9510 4273 www.pintonpunt.com.au

ST. KILDA

OSLO HOTEL 38 Grey St, St Kilda Melbourne Ph: 1800 501752 Free call or (03) 95254498 or mob: 0407115610 (any time) info@oslohotel.com.au www.oslohotel.com.au From $132 per week, 4 bed dorms RITZ FOR BACKPACKERS 169b Fitzroy Street St. Kilda Beach, Melbourne, 3182 Ph: 1800 670 364 info@ritzbackpackers.com www.ritzbackpackers.com HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au

Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20!FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply JACKSON APARTMENTS St Kilda Beach 80 Ikerman St Ph:0433 118 334 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com

APOLLO BAY

APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 Fax: 03 523 77385 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au

NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN

CHILLIS BACKPACKERS 69A Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 1800 351 313 www.chillis.com.au ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin NT 0800, Australia Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com

ALICE SPRINGS ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au

SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au

HINDMARSH GROOVEY GROUP 10 Bacon St, Hindmarsh SA 5007 getaways@groovygrape.com.au Freecall: 1800 66 11 77 Ph: + 61 8 8440 1640 www.grooveygroup.com.au ADELAIDE SHAKESPERE’S INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street Adelaide SA Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au

SHARE ACCOMMODATION CAIRNS

CAIRNS SHAREHOUSE.COM 53a Minnie Street, Cairns Qld 4870 (Cnr Draper/Minnie Streets) Ph: 0740 411 875 or 0412 318 519 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com SPECIAL!!! Mention this ad and receive free DVD hire!! **Note: Best for stays of 4 weeks & more

SUBIACO AND WEST PERTH MALIBU APARTMENTS Share House & Self Contained Apartments Subiaco & West Perth Ph: (08) 9228 9008 info@malibuapartments.com.au www.malibuapartments.com.au

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ACCOMMODATION GUIDE New Zealand TE PUKE

HAIRY BERRY BACKPACKER HOSTEL 2 No 1 Road, Te Puke NZ 0064 07 5738015 or 021 520539 www.hairyberrynz.com work@hairyberrynz.com “Bring this add for 100MB FREE internet on arrival & we garantee help to get seasonal work”

CHRISTCHURCH

CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz

KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

QUEENSTOWN

BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new fl ashpackers, now open with rave reviews.

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER

CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz

BAY OF ISLANDS BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@ bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz

AUCKLAND

WELLINGTON

NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com

NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefi eld Stree Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night

$5 off fi rst night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad

NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off fi rst night if you mention this ad

GREYMOUTH

KATIKATI OUR LITTLE PARADISE 378 Whara Whara Road KatiKati Ph +64 7 5490978 ourlittleparadise@ihug.co.nz

KARI KARI PENINSULA NORTHLAND

DUKE BACKPACKERS 7 Guinness Street, Greymouth Ph: 03-7689470 dukenz@clear.net.nz www.duke.co.nz

THE RUSTY ANCHOR

NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fi jinadibayhotel.com TRAVELLERS BEACH RESORT 19 Wasawasa Road, Nadi Bay Beach Ph: 6723322 Fax: 6720026 travellersbeach@connect.com.fj www.travellersbeachresort. com.fj Skype: travellersbeach

NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacifi c Harbou P.O.Box 416 Pacifi c Habou Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort. com www.uprisingbeachresort.com

1 Tokerau Beach Rd Kari Kari Peninsula Northland 0800 78 78 92 info@rustyanchor.co.nz www.rustyanchor.co.nz

Fiji BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfi ji.comwww beachcomberfi ji.com AQUARIUS PACIFIC HOTELS LIMITED 17 Wasawasa Road, Newtown, Wailoaloa, Nadi Ph: (679) 6726 000 Fax: (679) 6726 001 reservations@aquariusfi ji.co www.aquariusfi ji.co

58

THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fi jibeachouse.co www.fi jibeachouse.co SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT & HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport.

Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove. com.fj www.smugglersbeachfi ji.com Skype name: Smugglers Cove

ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfi ji com HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfi ji.co

BBM-596 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

ADVENTURE SPORTS SKYDIVING AUSTRALIA COFFS CITY SKYDIVERS 64 aviation drive Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Tel: 02 66511167 – 0400916600 jump@coffsskydivers.com.au www.coffsskydivers.com.au AWESOME in every way! Full Facilities,Cheap Accomodation Gift Vouchers, GOOD VIBES

SKYDIVE BYRON BAY P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 PH: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 Fax: 02 6684 6323 Email: info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!

SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS Pathfinder Dr, Caloundra Airport Tel: 1300 727 313 or 07 5437 0211 jump@jumpscs.com www.jumpscs.com SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of coffs

SIMPLY SKYDIVE SYDNEY P.O. Box 5060 Elanora Heights NSW 2101 Sydney International Regatta Centre

Penrith Lakes NSW 2750 FreeCall 1800 SKYDIVE Ph: 02/92238444 Fax: 02/92315878 Info@simplyskydive.com.au www.simplyskydive.com.au

Awesome views of Sydney and the Blue Mountains!

SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au

Free Transfers from Cairns & spectacular views of the great barrier reef

SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au

Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns.

Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings

NEW ZEALAND

SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane, Wanaka Airport State Highway 6, Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com

NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com

FIJI

SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj

‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’

SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA

SOUTH WEST ROCKS DIVE CENTRE 5/98 Gregory St, South West Rocks, NSW, 2431 Tel: 02 65 66 6474 info@southwestrocksdive.com.au www.southwestrocksdive.com.au

Experience Australia’s best ocean cave & shark dive. Catering for first timers to experienced divers

THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Tel: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au Coral Sea - Cairns - and Whitsunday Islands Dive live aboards. PADI dive courses and HMAS Brisbane wreck dive.

FISH ROCK DIVE CENTRE 134 Gregory St South West Rocks, NSW 2431 Ph: (02) 6566 6614 or 0414 381985 www.fishrock.com.au dive@fishrock.com.au World class diving, Gray Nurse Sharks, Caves, Whales...this is the real thing!

NINGALOO WHALE SHARK AND DIVE CENTRE

Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth.

Western Australia FREECALL: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au

SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES, CAIRNS

Reef Fleet Terminal, Tenancy 3, 1 Spence Street Cairns, QLD 4870, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 810 512 International Telephone: +61 7 4050 1333 Availability and Rates: sunlovercruises.bookconfirm.com res@sunlover.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au

FIJI

SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING AND WATERSPORTS Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com

TOURS/ ADVENTURES AUSTRALIA

YOUNG TRAVELLERS TOURS MELBOURNE Ph - 0488 002 212 www.yttours.com Fun original tours along the Great Ocean Road and Phillip Island!

One day tour from $90 OCEAN SAFARI CAPE TRIBULATION The Boardwalk Café, Cape Tribulation Rd, Cape Tribulation Tel: 07 4098 0006 Fax: 07 4098 0195 oceansafari@westnet.com.au www.oceansafari.com.au

JET BOATING

NEW ZEALAND SHOTOVER JET

The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.

Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com

ROLLERBLADING AUSTRALIA

The Great Barrier Reef in just 25 minutes, join our half day Eco Tour for an exhilarating ride of your life and two hours of pristine snorkelling at Mackay and Undine reefs.

ROLLERBLADING.COM.AU Lessons in Sydney and Melbourne Purchase lessons online www.rollerblading.com.au/british Ph: 0411872022

RAFTING

GLACIER GUIDING

OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Tel: 07 4946 6848 Fax: 07 4946 1488 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au

Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, New Zealand Tel: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 Fax: +64 3 751 0857 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz

AUSTRALIA

Each Ocean Rafting day includes a visit to Whitehaven Beach, pristine snorkelling reefs and stunning national park Island walks.

Whitsunday Adventure Tourism Winner 2008 and Eco accredited

MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.mulgas.com.au

HOT AIRBALLOONING AUSTRALIA

BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Tel: 9730 2422 or Freecall 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com .au

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING AUSTRALIA

STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au

KITE SURFING AUSTRALIA

NEW ZEALAND

SURFSHACK IS AN ACCREDITED SURF SCHOOL Lessons from $50 for 2 hours Lake Entrance Surf Shack 507 Esplanade Ph: 03 5155 4933 Mallacoota Surf Shack 41 Maurice Avenue Ph: 03 5158 0909 www.surfshack.com.au

JUNGLE SURFING AUSTRALIA

JUNGLE SURFING CANOPY TOURS PO Box 117 Port Douglas, Queensland Ph: 07 4098 0043 info@junglesurfing.com.au www.junglesurfing.com.au

RIVER BOARDING NEW ZEALAND

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz

SHARK EXPEDITIONS AUSTRALIA

SURFING

MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 73 Ninth Avenue, Joslin, Adelaide, South Australia, 5070 Ph: (08) 8363 1788 www.rodneyfox.com.au

AUSTRALIA

BUNGY JUMPING

Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.

SURF CAMP AUSTRALIA 235 CLARENCE ST, SYDNEY PH: (02) 9262 1757 www.surfcamp.com.au SURFING AUSTRALIA NATIONAL SURFSCHOOL NETWORK Tel: 07 5599 3800 Chris@surfingaustralia.com http://www.surfingaustralia.com Come surfing with the original surfschool network in Australia…safety and fun in the one experience

MOJOSURF 2/9 Marvel Street Ph: 02 6639 5100 reservations@mojosurf.com http://mojosurf.com Living the dream…

SANCTUARY SURFERS 201 Waymouth Street Adelaide South Australia 5000 Ph: 0403 134 478 luke.j.d@gmail.com www.sanctuary.net.au

AUSTRALIA

AJ HACKETT CAIRNS Mc Gregor Road Smithfield, QLD 4878 Ph: (07) 4057 7188 Free call: 1800 622 888 (Aus only) Cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com

KITE SURFING AUSTRALIA

KITE REPUBLIC Shop: 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182 Melbourne, VIC Ph:(03) 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au

KITESURF 1770 / IKO CER TIFIED KITEBOARDING SCHOOL/CENTRE 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au

Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company. Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.

BBM-596 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE

59

CRYSTAL BALLS

Our resident psychic, Crystal, tells you your fortune for this week

people off by simply waltzing into a room - anyone who ‘waltz’s’ into a room sould be shot just for that.

Aries SHE might have looked good after those eight pints and six Tequila shots, but you now regret pulling Lucy the Blue Whale in the office.

The only good and decent thing to do is to let your colleagues know that she sordidly spiked your drinks with lashings of Rohypnol.

Taurus YOU do know that you are making things worse by continuing to ask yourself why no one likes you.

Luckily it is all quite simple really, it is because you are boring, ugly, selfish and although you have massive tits it doesn’t count when they hang down to the level of you camel toe.

Face up to the sad and lonely life that awaits you and you will feel a hell of a lot better for it.

Gemini THROUGHOUT history Geminis have been famously known for their ability to piss

60

Libra OI! Come on, we’ve all had a bit to drink. Let’s all calm down. We’ll all be laughing about this tomorrow morning.

Become a recluse for the sake of mankind. Aquarians are a good laugh and are always looking for new recruits.

Are you two gonna shake on it? Let’s just enjoy the rest of the night.

Cancer

Scorpio

AAAAGGGHHHHH. Just end it all now. Trust me, I have read the stars. The alternative is far, far worse.

THE lusty bored Italian nymphomaniac that keeps popping up regurlarly on Facebook chat is actually a 58-year-old lorry driver called Borris who ejaculates instantaneously when you say ‘Hey hun, how are you?’

Leo TRY a different sexual position for greater fun and frolics all round.

For example, having another person in the bed with you as opposed to having your ear pressed to the wall listening to that young Danish couple next door would be a good start.

Virgo YOU know that really hot guy who’s just started working in the office that has totally been eyeing you up all day?

To let you in on a little secret he is not interested in you in the slightest.

He has infact been telling everyone in the office about your highly visible skid mark and laughing about it.

Did you really think you stood a chance? You can’t even wipe your arse properly! Get that shit cleaned up before you go back in the office.

Reckon you should still meet him though as it wouldn’t hurt for you to get laid once in a while and you can boast about finally shagging an older guy. Sharon will be jealous.

Sagittarius OH boy… Unbeknown to you, you are a time-travelling scientist sent to various points in the past 50 years to right many wrongs that have been committed and save many innocents along the way.

Ziggy says that there is a 75 per cent chance your next leap will be the leap home.

Capricorn SIT down and ask yourself, when was the last time you gave money to charity?

Or bought the Big Issue perhaps?

Well, judging by the fact that

you have had three takeaways this week, your finances and well-being are certainly benefiting from your lack of Christian spirit. Way to go!

Keep up the good work and you’ll be living in relative comfort for the foreseeable future.

Now kindly tuck into that chicken korma that was only $1.50 from Coles because it’s two weeks out of date.

Aquarius WILL you please stop staring at your mate’s girlfriend’s midriff and then glance around the room when one of them catches you in an awkward attempt to make them think that your eyes naturally wander everywhere?

It doesn’t fool anyone and makes you look kind of desperate.

Especially when by “mate” we actually mean “dad” and “girlfriend” we mean “mum”.

Hmm you have issues.

Pisces YES, we’ve all been tempted, myself included. But, in the long run, it is just not worth it.

Their bodies are not designed to reproduce with humans.

True, Dobbin may seem more attractive now, but you haven’t actually left your farm for three weeks. And a word of caution... they’re very fond of chewing carrots. Cover up.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

ASK CRYSTAL cubicles and getting smirks when

‘THIS IS ME.’ People will respect

The other girls are turning on me.

I come out. What can I do?

you, and will forget about your

Any advice?

Matt, Perth

Dear Matt,

Rachel, Kings Cross

size, especially any passing Aussie rules or rugby players.

Dear Rachel,

I would probably advise against

Dear Crystal,

OH DEAR, oh dear. Well Matt,

doing it on Sydney’s Oxford

I ONCE read a book and

you sound like a real catch. Did

Street though.

regretted it ever since. By

you come to Oz thinking that you might have more chance with

I HATE going to bars and

Aussie girls than British ones?

restaurants, as I cannot face

Ha!

the end, I could not care less

Dear Crystal,

whether the cat got out of the hat.

ALL the other girls in my

Squares like you make me sick.

my little fella is a bit littler than

Although you are a bit of a lost

houseshare make fun of me

How are you going to meet the

the average little fella.

cause, the only thing left for you

because I enjoy reading every

man or football team of your

is to confront your fears.

now and then and don’t always

dreams if you are stuck with your

want to go on their drink-until-

head in a book?

using the urinal. Unfortunately,

It does not affect my bedroom

you-puke bar crawls.

exploits, as my acne and beer

The next time you go to a

gut normally prevent me from

bar, stand in the middle of the

meeting girls anyway.

dancefloor with your trousers

I like a night out as much as the

pretty sharpish, you won’t have

I am sick of always using the

and pants down and scream

next person but I sometimes find

any stories to tell your friends

these nights out a bit vulgar and

– if you have any – when you

tasteless.

get old.

Do you have a pressing problem that needs Crystal’s attention? If so, e-mail editor@britishballs.com

Unless you start sleeping around

JOKES TO READ BBM’S DAILY DOSE OF UK NEWS , VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/UK-NEWS

COULD you be living next door to a paedophile?

Not me. I live next door to two sexy ten-yearolds.

John, Wollongong EVERY night I have a recurring dream that my best friend is sucking my dick.

Should I tell him he’s gay?

Jack, Fairy Meadow MY wife thinks I’m too drunk to take the goldf sh for a walk.

I’ll show her.

Roger, Randwick IN A Scottish classroom, the teacher asked a student: “If you have f ve pounds, and I ask to borrow two, how much money do you have left?”

The student replied: “Five pounds.”

Jimbo, Cairns MY mum hates it when I call my stepfather Bernie. He’s pretty sensitive about the scars.

Peter, Somerset A FEMALE plumber?

Yeah, I’d tap that.

Sam, Surry Hills 62

HOW very odd. Some girl has had all her Valentines f owers and teddy bears delivered to a lamp post on the A12 near Brentwood.

Jamie, Chelsea I CALLED the Samaritans once, saying that I felt like throwing myself in front of a train and needed help.

They told me to stay on the line.

Rick, Darwin ME and the wife f lmed our sex session tonight so we could put it on the web. It was over so fast I managed to upload it as a jpeg.

Timothy, Perth AS I walked past my ex, I gave her one of those horrible looks.

I threw sulphuric acid in her face.

Ted, Leeds I GOT in a load of trouble at the farm recently with my German boss.

Turned out he wanted me to order 30 sows and pigs, not 30,000 pigs.

Dexy, Surry Hills BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

SCOREBOARD ENGLISH LEAGUES PREMIER LEAGUE Manchester United2616913257 Arsenal2616552953 Manchester City2714761949 Tottenham Hotspur261385947 Chelsea2613672445 Liverpool2711610339 Sunderland279108037 Bolton Wanderers27 9 Newcastle United279810435 Stoke City2610313-233 Blackburn Rovers279513-832 Fulham276138031 Everton266128-330 Birmingham City266128-1030 Aston Villa277911-1530 Blackpool268513-1129 West Bromwich Albion267613-1727 Wigan Athletic2751210-1827 West Ham United2751012-1825 Wolverhampton Wanderers267316-1924

9

9

LEAGUE 1

CHAMPIONSHIP

PlWDL+/-Pts

1

3

6

Tables accurate as of Friday, February 18th, AEST.

PlWDL+/-Pts Queens Park Rangers31161233160 Cardiff City3116781455 Norwich City3115971054 Nottingham Forest30141151553 Swansea City31165101153 Leeds United31141071052 Leicester City3114611148 Burnley3112118947 Millwall3112109946 Hull City3111128445 Watford30128101044 Reading31101381143 Ipswich Town3012513441 Barnsley3111812-841 Coventry City3111614-339 Doncaster Rovers3010713-1337 Derby County3010515-335 Portsmouth309813-535 Bristol City319814-1135 Middlesbrough309615-533 Crystal Palace318716-2131 Sheffi eld United317816-212 Scunthorpe United298318-2427 Preston North End305718-2522

LEAGUE 2

PlWDL+/-Pts Brighton and Hove Albion2816843056 AFC Bournemouth3015872253 Huddersfi eld Town291559155 Southampton2814682348 Charlton Athletic281387847 Peterborough United2914411646 Oldham Athletic3011127545 Milton Keynes Dons FC3113612-345 Rochdale2911117844 Leyton Orient2911108943 Colchester United2910118-341 Hartlepool United2911711-1340 Carlisle United2810810638 Exeter City2910811-838 Tranmere Rovers2810711-337 Sheffi eld Wednesday291061323 Brentford2910613-536 Notts County2710512035 Plymouth Argyle319616-1533 Yeovil Town309615-1533 Swindon Town3171014-1231 Walsall318617-1630 Dagenham & Redbridge287714-1228 Bristol Rovers306915-2927

PlWDL+/-Pts Chesterfi eld3015114225 Shrewsbury Town3114981951 Rotherham United3114891550 Wycombe Wanderers291487850 Bury2913881747 Gillingham3112109646 Port Vale291298745 Oxford United3112811144 Crewe Alexandra2911991242 Torquay United2811981142 Southend United2912611442 Cheltenham Town3010911-439 Lincoln City2911513-1238 Northampton Town2991010-337 Stevenage Football Club298129536 Aldershot Town3081210-736 Morecambe3081012-734 Bradford City2910415-1034 Accrington Stanley277128-433 Hereford United288812-932 Macclesfi eld Town277812-132 Burton Albion247710-128 Stockport County3161015-3628 Barnet306816-2126

EUROPEAN LEAGUES

FOCUS ON... AUSTRALIA PlWDL+/-Pts

THE A-LEAGUE f nals are f nally here and while the likes of Sydney FC and the Newcastle Jets have f nally been put out of their misery, everyone else from Wellington upwards is still in with a shout of winning the big prize.

Everyone, that is, except for Adelaide or Wellington who were set to play each other last night after we’d gone to press. Ho hum.

The heavy favourites for the grand f nal title are Brisbane. Not only did they win the league at a canter, they are also currently on an eyegoggling 25-match unbeaten run that stretches back to September.

Melbourne Victory, who play Gold Coast United tomorrow for a spot in the semi-f nals, are the only team to beat Brisbane this year, although considering they ended up f nishing f fth we doubt they’ll do it again.

Brisbane Roar30181113265 Central Coast Mariners3016951957 Adelaide United30155101550 Gold Coast United3012108846 Melbourne Victory3011109643 Wellington Phoenix3012513−241 Newcastle Jets309813−435 Melbourne Heart3081111−1035 Sydney FC3081012−534 Perth Glory305817−2723 North Queensland Fury304719−3219

Ironically, there is one team arguably in better form than Brisbane in 2011 Sydney. The Sky Blues are unbeaten this year but had such a shocking start to the season they didn’t even get close to the f nals.

SERIE A AC Milan2515732552 Napoli2515461849 Lazio2513661045 Internazionale2413561644 Udinese2513481243 Juventus2511861141 Palermo251249940 AS Roma241167339 Cagliari2510510535 Fiorentina24 Chievo257108031 Sampdoria24 Genoa24 Bologna24 Parma256811-1126 Catania256811-1126 Lecce256613-2024 Brescia256415-1322 Cesena255614-1721 Bari253616-2515

SCOTTISH PREMIER PlWDL+/-Pts Celtic2519424161 Rangers2318233356 Heart of Midlothian2516361851 Kilmarnock2510691036 Motherwell259412-631 Inverness Caledonian Thistle25 7 9 9 Dundee United21 7 8 6 St. Johnstone238510-1029 Aberdeen247215-2023 Hibernian256415-1822 St. Mirren244713-2019 Hamilton Academical232813-2714

64

1 -

3 2

0 2

LA LIGA

PlWDL+/-Pts

9

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

PlWDL+/-Pts

8

8

8

1

3

2

7 7 8

9 8 8

8 9 8

-

3 3 7

3 2 2

FC Barcelona Real Madrid Valencia CF Villarreal CF Athletic Bilbao RCD Espanyol Getafe CF Sevilla FC Real Sociedad RCD Mallorca Atlético Madrid 0 Hércules CF 9 Racing Santander 9 Deportivo La Coruña Levante UD Sporting Gijón Real Zaragoza Osasuna UD Almería Málaga CF

2320215962 2318323457 2314541347 2314361845 231229538 2312110-137 239410-231 239410-331 2310112-331 239410-531 239311130 237412-1325 236710-1325 236710-1425 237313-1024 235810-823 235810-1423 235711-922 234811-1620 235414-1919

FOOTBALL RESULTS Thursday, 17 February Uefa Europa League Anderlecht 0-3 Ajax Basle 2-3 Spartak Moscow BATE Borisov 2-2 Paris SG Benfi ca 2-1 VfB Stuttgar Besiktas 1-4 Dynamo Kiev FC Metalist Kharkiv 0-4 Bayer Leverkusen Lech Poznan 1-0 Braga Lille 2-2 PSV Eindhoven Napoli 0-0 Villarreal PAOK Salonika 0-1 CSKA Moscow Rangers 1-1 Sporting Rubin Kazan 0-2 FC Twente Sevilla 1-2 FC Porto Sparta Prague 0-0 Liverpool Young Boys 2-1 Zenit St Petersburg ---------------------------------------------------------Wednesday, 16 February Uefa Champions League Arsenal 2-1 Barcelona Roma 2-3 Shakhtar Donetsk The FA Cup Wigan 0-1 Bolton Npower Championship Scunthorpe 1-0 Nott’m Forest Scottish Third Division East Stirling 0-1 Queen’s Park ---------------------------------------------------------Tuesday, 15 February Uefa Champions League AC Milan 0-1 Tottenham Valencia 1-1 Schalke 04 Barclays Premier League Birmingham 0-2 Newcastle Uefa Europa League Aris Salonika 0-0 Man City Npower Championship Cardiff 1-1 Burnley Doncaster 0-6 Ipswich Sheff Utd 1-1 Reading Watford 2-2 Preston Npower League One Hartlepool 2-1 Charlton MK Dons 2-3 Leyton Orient Notts County 2-0 Colchester Oldham 0-1 Carlisle Tranmere 3-0 Sheff Wed Walsall 1-0 Dag & Red Yeovil 0-2 Peterborough Npower League Two Aldershot 2-2 Lincoln City Bury 1-1 Chesterfi el Northampton 3-3 Morecambe Rotherham 2-0 Accrington Stanley Southend 3-2 Wycombe Stevenage 0-0 Oxford Utd Torquay 1-0 Burton Albion Clydesdale Bank Premier League Aberdeen 1-2 Motherwell Blue Square Bet Premier Altrincham 0-3 Histon Cambridge Utd 0-1 Darlington Gateshead 1-0 Hayes & Yeading Kettering 2-1 Bath City Wrexham 0-0 Crawley Town York 1-0 Fleetwood Town Scottish First Division Cowdenbeath 1-1 Partick Thistle Dunfermline 1-1 Falkirk Stirling 0-1 Morton Scottish Second Division East Fife 1-3 Dumbarton Forfar 1-1 Alloa Livingston 2-0 Airdrie Utd Scottish Third Division Albion 1-2 Stranraer Annan Athletic 1-2 Arbroath Clyde 2-0 Berwick Blue Square Bet North Alfreton Town 2-1 Blyth Spartans Gloucester 1-0 Vauxhall Motors Stalybridge 3-1 Boston Utd ---------------------------------------------------------Monday, 14 February Barclays Premier League Fulham 0-0 Chelsea ---------------------------------------------------------Sunday, 13 February Barclays Premier League

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Bolton 2-0 Everton Npower Championship QPR 1-1 Nott’m Forest Clydesdale Bank Premier League Dundee Utd 1-3 Celtic

FANTASY FOOTBALL $1000 IN BAR TABS UP FOR GRABS!

---------------------------------------------------------Saturday, 12 February Barclays Premier League Arsenal 2-0 Wolverhampton Birmingham 1-0 Stoke Blackburn 0-0 Newcastle Blackpool 1-1 Aston Villa Liverpool 1-1 Wigan Man Utd 2-1 Man City Sunderland 1-2 Tottenham West Brom 3-3 West Ham Npower Championship Barnsley 1-1 Ipswich Bristol City 0-2 Leeds Cardiff 1-0 Scunthorpe Coventry 2-1 Crystal Palace Derby 0-2 Leicester Doncaster 0-2 Portsmouth Hull 1-0 Preston Middlesbrough 3-4 Swansea Norwich 2-1 Reading Sheff Utd 1-1 Millwall Watford 1-3 Burnley Npower League One Brighton 4-1 Hartlepool Charlton 3-2 Peterborough Colchester 2-1 Swindon Dag & Red 2-1 Yeovil Huddersfi eld 0-0 Oldha Leyton Orient 4-1 Bristol Rovers MK Dons 1-1 Brentford Notts County 0-2 Exeter Plymouth 1-3 Tranmere Rochdale 2-1 Sheff Wed Southampton 1-0 Carlisle Walsall 0-1 Bournemouth Npower League Two Aldershot 0-0 Macclesfi el Barnet 0-3 Torquay Bradford 1-0 Wycombe Cheltenham 0-3 Hereford Crewe 1-1 Gillingham Lincoln City 2-0 Morecambe Oxford Utd 2-1 Rotherham Port Vale 1-1 Northampton Shrewsbury 1-0 Stevenage Stockport 2-1 Bury Clydesdale Bank Premier League Hamilton 0-2 Hearts Hibernian 2-1 Kilmarnock Rangers 6-0 Motherwell St Mirren 3-3 Inverness CT Blue Square Bet Premier AFC Wimbledon 1-0 York Bath City 2-0 Tamworth Crawley Town 3-2 Wrexham Darlington 6-1 Eastbourne Boro Grimsby 1-1 Cambridge Utd Histon 0-1 Hayes & Yeading Kettering 1-1 Barrow Kidderminster 2-1 Altrincham Luton 1-3 Fleetwood Town Mansfi eld 3-3 Newport Count Rushden & D’mnds 0-2 Gateshead Southport 4-0 Forest Green Scottish First Division Cowdenbeath 0-4 Dunfermline Dundee 2-1 Raith Rovers Falkirk 1-0 Morton Queen of South 3-3 Partick Thistle Ross County 0-0 Stirling Scottish Second Division Alloa 0-3 Forfar Ayr 0-3 Livingston Brechin 3-1 Peterhead Dumbarton 1-1 Airdrie Utd Stenhousemuir 0-2 East Fife Scottish Third Division Albion 2-0 East Stirling Berwick 2-3 Annan Athletic Clyde 3-3 Elgin Queen’s Park 1-1 Arbroath Stranraer 2-2 Montrose Blue Square Bet North Blyth Spartans 0-0 Eastwood Town Boston Utd 0-1 AFC Telford Droylsden 1-0 Nuneaton Gainsborough 1-3 Harrogate Town Hinckley Utd 2-3 Vauxhall Motors Hyde 1-3 Gloucester Solihull Moors 7-2 Corby

`

CHECK out BBM’ s fantasy league table at http:// fantasy.pr emierleague.com for all the latest r esults and standings. T able below was up to date at time of going to press.

Prizes

(in PJ O’Briens bar tabs) are: First: $400 Second: $250 Third: $150 Fourth: $100

# TEAM MANAGER GW

TOT

1 alovelycupoftea James Horrocks 77

1559

2 Dizzying Heights FC Siva Iyer 79

1533

3 Stop, Hammertime! Paul Steadman 69 4 every week you dan magee 77

1464

5 Alan’s Deep Bath jason kerley 83 6 Mukin Fagic Luke Gately 47

1462 1412

7 TippytappyFC Richie Egan 70 8 Alcohol Fc Ron f 86

1471

1400

1393

9 bobby dazzlerz tom mcelwain 31

1375

10 Holy-family ‘B’ team Pat Mustard 78 11 Evertonian John Armitage 45

1373 1359

12 Rootin & Tootin Oisin Coveney 72

1348

13 Ozzies Allstars *** James Osborne 53 14 Tallulah Neil Weaver 41

1333

15 Arsenal Brian Harvey 70

1332

16 The Roosters Steven Cairns 81 17 fi sty cuffs fc Marc Roche 73

1337

1318 1315

18 Insert Name Here Utd Richard Gadsby 45 19 Red Incas Mark Stansfi eld 39 20 Change Name brian o gorman 37

1312

1312 1310

New Entry Ranking Increased Ranking stayed Ranking Fell the same

65

UFC 127 IT’S here! It’s f nally here! After blowing the roof off Acer Arena last year with Cain Velasquez’s path of destruction to the Heavyweight title, the UFC is back for another go around, and BBM can’t wait.

When BBM caught up with Jon Fitch back in December, he knew he had some improvements to make before the f ght against BJ Penn - he hadn’t won by knockout or submission in four years.

“I have had a lot of decisions in the past, and have struggled with that. We’ve been working on changing a few things

up in training and focusing on setting up and f nishing people. The good thing is that I’ve still found a way to win regardless of whether I could f nish.”

only one loss in his last twenty-one f ghts. A win in Sydney would almost guarantee him a title shot in 2011.

On the other hand, BJ had a different strategy. “I’m not the guy to watch the tapes and pick everything apart, I just gotta go in and beat him.”

While the majority of BJ’s f ghts are made up of striking (47% to be exact), only 51% of strikes have been successful. On the other hand, Jon’s f ghts are 47% takedowns, over half of which have been successful. The clincher is that BJ has avoided 80% of takedowns in his career - which will be BJ’s key to what will be a somewhat surprising victory.

Penn is a one-in-a-million UFC f ghter. With his powerful knockouts, strong ground game and experience with big-time f ghts (he’s held both the lightweight and welterweight belts), he’s a tough man to beat.

Fitch, however, is a gritty, dominant f ghter with

UFC 127

Open Workouts: February 22 Press Conference: February 23 Autographs, Melbourne: February 24

Autographs, Brisbane: February 25 Weigh-Ins: February 26 Event: February 27

BBM will be streaming the press conferences, weigh-ins and a bunch more event content on our website. Visit bbmlive.com/ufc for details and to watch.

OTHER FIGHT CARD PREDICTIONS: Michael Bisping vs. Jorge Rivera Bisping is an English beast, but lost in his last visit to Sydney. However, his ground game is more impressive than Rivera’s so that should get him the win.

George Sotiropolous vs.

Dennis Silver Aussie George is undefeated so far in the UFC. Dennis will be forced to get George to the ground, but that’ll be countered by George’s Brazilian Jiu Jitsu skills.

Brian Ebersole vs. Chris Lytle The Australian based American replaces Carlos Condit in the f ght against Lytle, and we’re temtped to pick him for the upset. We think it’ll go to the judges, where... Ah, screw it. Brian will win.

Kyle Noke vs. Chris Camozzi Camozzi is undefeated but Noke is a more rounded f ghter. Aussie Kyle will take it.

Ross Pearson vs. Spencer Fisher This should be a great stand-up f ght. The Brit, Pearson, should win and get back on track after a shaky loss last year.

Nick Ring vs. Riki Fukuda Both men’s UFC debut, although Riki is more experienced.

Nick is coming off knee surgery so he’ll have some ring rust.

James Te-Huna vs. Alex Gustafsson Te Huna won last year in Sydney and is a solid wrestler. Look for James to take the f ght to the ground.

Mark Hunt vs. Chris Tuchscherer Hunt has defeated both Wanderlei Silva and Cro Cop, but has lost his last six f ghts, f ve by submission. Chris will win, you guessed it, by submission.

Anthony Perosh vs. Tom Blackledge Anthony will have learnt a lot from his last-minute f ght against Cro Cop in Sydney last year, easily knocking out the Brit.

Zhang Tie Quan vs. Jason Reinhardt Tie Quan is coming off his f rst MMA loss whereas Reinhardt is an unknown. Easy.

Maciej Jewtuszko vs. Curt Warburton Warburton has never fought outside of England while Jewtuszko is undefeated.

FOOTBALL

VIEWS

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

A CLASS OF THEIR BARCEL-ONA FORGET the double winning Real Madrid of 1960. Forget the treble winning Ajax of 1972.

Forget the treble winning Manchester United of 1999.

In 2008/09, Barcelona became the only football team in history to win the sextuple [La Liga, Copa del Ray, Supercopa de Espana, UEFA Champions League, UEFA Super Cup and FIFA World Club Cup].

This was a magical achievement by coach Pep Guardiola (right) and his team, but was it a one off fluke? The next season, they retained La Liga and reached 99 points in doing so, but missed out on the UEFA Champions League defence.

With largely the same squad, this season Barcelona are on track for another mammoth haul of trophies, and cement their place in history as the most successful team ever.

But they aren’t simply winning; they are doing so with flair, panache and a beautiful brand of entertaining football.

“I’ve suggested to Tottenham they keep all the cuttings about West Ham’s promises in an archive and bring them out in four years. I wish them luck - but it ain’t gonna work.”

Alan Sugar’s not at all bitter about West Ham’s successful Olympic Stadium bid.

Let me drop a few stats into the argument: this season, Barcelona have scored 106 goals in 36 games [2.94 per game], as well as scoring three or more goals in over half their games.

They have only lost two games out of 36 this season, both of which were flukes against considerably weaker opposition; while at the same time, their away record in the La Liga is an impressive 100 per cent.

At the time of writing, they are alive in all four current competitions; if they win the UEFA Champions League this year, it will bring with it the UEFA Super Cup and FIFA World Club Cup and cement their place in history as the greatest team of all time.

“Alan Sugar isn’t always right you know. Anyone had an Amstrad computer?”

West Ham co-chairman David Sullivan responds. Meow.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that, I don’t follow football, I’m sorry.”

King of sarcasm William Gallas after a journalist pointed out that AC Milan striker Antonio Cassano was cup-tied for the Spurs game.

With Guardiola recently signing a contract extension til 2012, there look to be no bounds to stop how far the Catalans can go.

- Alen Delic

Australia’s Gold Coast Choose YOUR OWN adventure in Australia’s playground

Spectacular!

HAVE YOU HEARD G G G G G

G

visit www.adventureGC.com 68

Get back to nature

Catch some rays C

?

70 kilometres of coastline 300 days of sunshine per year 22°C /72°F average temperature 500 cafes, restaurants and bars 100,000 hectares of World Heritage Rainforest Australia’s biggest range of theme parks and attractions

Meet some loca

ls GCT1282 `

Most savvy travellers think they know what to expect on the Gold Coast; brilliant beaches, super Surfers Paradise nightlife, theme parks galore and the best looking talent in the country. But only a plucky few explorers uncover more than the travel guides are willing to admit. How’d they miss 100,000 hectares of world heritage rainforest, 500 kilometres of canals, the year round water sports or the sacred indigenous landmarks?

Perhaps they just weren’t up for the challenge. Choose YOUR OWN adventure in Australia’s playground.

BBM-596 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM

FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FEATURE

TOP FIVE OTHER REASONS WHY ANDY GRAY IS A PRAT ANDY GRAY and his pet hair monster Richard Keys (pictured) were back on the airwaves this week following their last-minute transfer window switch from Sky Sports to TalkSport radio.

Unfortunately, as debuts go, it was more Fernando Torres than Daniel Sturridge with the main talking points being Rooney’s overhead kick, Liverpool’s 1-1 draw with

Wigan and the fact that you can get a third off ceramic tiles at Wickes.

That’s right, Keys has to throw in the odd plug to the show’s sponsors.

With no calls being taken from the public, which is what everyone wanted to hear, the show was about as exciting as, well, last week’s Premier League action.

Take away the action replays, the needless graphical arrows

4) THAT BIT OF LIVERPOOL COMMENTARY Despite being Scottish and a former Everton player, Andy Gray almost wet himself with excitement when Steeeeevie Gerrard rif ed one home for Liverpool against Olympiakos. “Yoooouuu beauty!” he yelled... cue Sky Sports using it in every advertising campaign they’ve ever done for the next two years.

Which gives us an excuse to list all the other reasons why we used to hate watching Andy Gray on Sky. Apart from the fact he’s a sexist prat of course…

2) HIS PHRASES

1) HIS ADDICTION TO COMPUTER GRAPHICS When it comes to demonstrating the complexities of the wingback system or how the Man City offside trap works, Andy’s approach is simple.

- big arrows and plenty of them. The bigger the point he’s making, the bigger the arrow. It’s almost as if he’s overcompensating for something…

dotted around the pitch, and Jamie Redknapp to make them look vaguely intelligent, and Keys and Gray don’t really offer anything. Except, of course, the thrill derived from listening to two middle-aged men going through a mid-life crisis live on radio.

“Take a bow son…”

“Time and time and time and again…”

“WHAT a...shot/goal/ game…”

“It’s not out of the top draw, it’s above that.”

Do we need to go on? Not really.

3) HIS USE OF NICKNAMES Because Andy is such great mates with Stevie G, Scotty Parker and JT, that’s what he calls them when he’s doing commentary. It makes him look really cool.

5) HE’S AN IDIOT “Charlotte, can you tuck this down here for me?”

“It’s what I call one of those indefensible ones - those ones you can’t defend...”

“I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs…”

Do we need to go on? Again, not really.

THAT’S UNBELIEVABLE!

with ace pundit Chris Kamara

Relegation-threatened Mexican club Queretaro have suspended two players due to “lack of effort” after a 5-0 humiliation last week.

Colombian Jairo Castillo and fellow forward Arnhold Rivas were kicked off the side’s squad list following their performance in the defeat to Toluca in the Clausura championship. Unbelievable Jeff!

WEEKEND FIXTURES Saturday 19th February 2011 The FA Cup Fourth Round Chelsea v Everton The FA Cup Fifth Round Birmingham v Sheffield Weds Stoke City v Brig hton Manchester Utd v Crawley npower Championship Crystal Palace v Sheffield Utd Ipswich Town v Hull City Leeds United v Norwich City Millwall v Middlesbrough N Forest v Cardiff Portsmouth v B arnsley Preston v QPR Reading v Watford Scunthorpe v Derby County Swansea City v Doncaster npower League 1 Bournemouth v Huddersfield Bristol Rovers v Oldha m Ath Charlton Athletic v Exeter City Colchester United v Walsall Hartlepool United v MK Dons Peterborough v Tranmere Rochdale v S outhampton Swindon Town v Carlisle npower League 2 Cheltenham Town v Barnet Crewe Alexandra v S tevenage Gillingham v Bury Hereford v Burton Albion Lincoln City v Chesterfield Morecambe v Oxford United Northampton v Aldershot Rotherham v Shrewsbury Stockport v Macclesfield Torquay v Southend Wycombe v A ccrington Scottish Premier League Aberdeen v Kilmarnock Hearts v Dundee United Inverness v S t Johnstone Motherwell v Hamilton St Mirren v H ibernian Sunday 20th February Barclays Premier League West Brom v Wolves The FA Cup Fourth Round Man City v Notts County The FA Cup Fifth Round Fulham v Bolton Leyton Orient v Arsenal Scottish Premier League Celtic v Rangers St Mirren v H ibernian

More pencil-moustached punditry and footballing facts next week folks!

70

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FOOTBALL

NEWS ROUND-UP

JORDAN CONFLICT CONTINUES THE ugly after-match spat at the San Siro between Gennaro “chopper” Gattuso and Joe Jordan, which left the Spurs assistant coach sporting an ugly blob of Italian hair gel on his upper lip, continues to rumble on.

Gattuso has apologised for wiping his hair on Jordan’s face in the wake of AC Milan’s 1-0 Champions League defeat, while the Spurs man hasn’t even acknowledged the incident – but that hasn’t stopped the Italian’s representatives and Harry Redknapp from fanning the f ames on their behalf.

The player’s agent, Claudio Pasqualin, claimed: “My client was strongly provoked

by Joe Jordan. Jordan, after continuously heckling him, insulted him with a truly low phrase, saying ‘f@*king Italian b@$tard’.” But Redknapp hit back. “This is a case of someone playing the race card, trying to def ect from what happened. Joe is not, and never has been, a racist,” he said while munching on some jellied eels and listening to Snooker Loopy.

IN more assistant manager versus player dust-up news, Oldham’s Gerry Taggart looks likely to be punished by the FA after running on to the pitch to lamp Carlisle’s Tom Taiwo during the Cumbrians’ League One win.

“Every man and his dog got involved,” explained Taiwo. “It was a bit of a royal rumble.”

RONALDO – not that one, the fat one – has retired from football aged 34. The three-times world player of the year had planned to quit at the end of the season but a succession of injuries and the elimination of his club Corinthians from the Copa Libertadores forced his hand. “I can’t do it any more.

I think of an action, but I can’t do it the way I want to. It’s time,” said the buck-toothed Samba boy, sounding suspiciously like fellow Brazil legend turned Viagrasalesman Pele.

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ARSENE Wenger’s child-catching crown could be taken by Chelsea following a Dutch FA investigation into the Blues’ £670,000 swoop for 15-year-old Feyenoord wunderkind Nathan Ake. “This is trading with children and a bad case,” windmilled Dutch Labour MP Tjaeerd Vekken who raised the issue in parliament.

FRENCH shambles co-ordinator Raymond Domenech has f nally said something interesting that doesn’t include zodiac signs following his country’s sitcomstyle World Cup performance.

“I’m not the moron that people are describing me as,” he blubbed. “Let’s be clear: I got it wrong, I mustn’t have chosen the right players nor found the words that were needed. I

do not accept the criticism of politicians, nor that of former players who have turned to journalism, but that does not prevent me from drawing my own evaluation.”

HE MAY have a name bef tting a pub darts player but Crawley striker Matt Tubbs has apparently got Manchester United worried. Alex Ferguson and assistant Mike Phelan were both at Wrexham on Tuesday to check on the Blue Square Premier League title favourites ahead of tonight’s FA Cup clash at Old Trafford.

And top of Old Purplenose’s list of things to see was 28-goal hotshot Tubbs, followed closely by the historic 18th century house Chirk Castle, which really is a must-see destination to anyone visiting North Wales.

Fergie conf ded to a Racecourse

Ground source: “A lot of people are talking about these boys - I thought I’d take a look for myself.”

DESPITE the fact he’s right, David Villa still sounded slightly petulant when he claimed Arsenal didn’t deserve to beat Barcelona 2-1 at the Emirates last week. “We were better but they hurt us on the counter. We didn’t deserve this result,” he whinged.

CESC Fabregas may have gone through puberty long ago but Arsene Wenger is still fending off criticism from Barcelona over the way Arsenal signed the midf eld maestro.

Fabregas left Spain for London as a 16-year-old, where he was kept in a cage and told he would never see the sun again.

“Where do they (Barca) get their players? Where does Messi come from? Barcelona? At what age did they take him? Twelve years old. There’s no reason for any bitterness because we did nothing illegal. We did not force a gun somewhere,” guffawed Wenger.

MICHEL Platini’s cartoon eyes rolled around like fruit machine wheels before stopping on a large dollar sign where his pupils should be after it was revealed UEFA would make tickets for May’s Champions League f nal at Wembley the most expensive in the tournament’s history.

The cheapest of the tickets on general sale will come to £150 plus a £26 admin fee, although there will be some category four tickets available through the clubs priced at £80. “When you compare it to other events we don’t think that the Champions League f nal is overpriced,” said UEFA director of competitions Giorgio Marchetti while picking the pocket of an out of work coal miner.

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INTERVIEW C’s...

Sydney F

k c i N rle Ca

AS the old football cliché goes, it’s been a season of two halves for Sydney FC. After failing to win any of their opening 10 A-League games, the defending champions were pretty much written off for the f nals by the end of December. Sydney’s marquee signing Nick Carle spent much of that time sidelined with a catalogue of foot and hamstring injuries but his return to full f tness at the turn of the year has coincided with a resurgence from the Sky Blues, who are now unbeaten in 2011. Ultimately, it proved too late to make up the ground on the top six but it means Sydney go into next month’s AFC Champions League as one of the competition’s form teams. BBM’s RICHARD GADSBY caught up with Carle ahead of the club’s opening group game against Korean club Suwon Samsung Bluewings…

At the end of 2010, I don’t think many people would have given you a chance going into the Champions League, but considering the way you’ve started 2011, you must feel like you can surprise a few people. What are your ambitions for the competition?

You have to be respectful of the opposition in every game of football but the Champions League is going to be another level. From a personal point of view, I don’t know what to expect. As a footballer you want to win every game but we’re very aware of the standard of opponents we’ll be facing. Our f rst target will be just to get out of the group stage. If we manage that, we’ll just take each game on its own merit.

On a personal level, your two goals at the weekend [in a 2-2 draw against Melbourne Heart] must have been a boost. Where was your mindset after the game compared to the end of last year when the team were struggling and you were on the sidelines?

After being out so long it’s just nice to get a run of games under my belt and get a bit of form. I feel I’m getting better and better and I probably should have scored a few more goals to be honest. I had a few chances against Wellington, for example, and should have done better but that’s football.

But the important thing is as a team we’ve kept this run going and showed a bit of consistency.

We’re unbeaten for eight games now and I think f ve or six of those were away from home. I’m not trying to make excuses but we’ve had key players out for big parts of the season. In the A-League with the salary cap, when you’ve got key players like Brosquey (Alex Brosque) and Bridgey (Mark Bridge) out it makes a big difference because you

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don’t have the resources to cover for that kind of top quality.

On paper, the Melbourne Heart draw was meaningless – but how important was it mentally to keep up the unbeaten run heading into the Champions League?

It’s huge. OK, it wasn’t the best game we’ve played during this eight-game run but we still managed to get a draw away from home against a very good side. That’s the thing about football, no side plays brilliantly every week but it’s important when you’re not playing that well that you still get a result. Obviously they only had 10 men and tired a bit towards the end but we kept going and got a result.

Does it feel like a win when that happens – when you’ve not played well but you still scrape something?

Yes. It’s just as important to get a point from those games as it is to win games that you dominate. It keeps that momentum going.

Suwon Samsung Bluewings [who Sydney play at home on March 2nd] are one of the strongest teams in Korea. Have you anaylsed them yet?

We’ve not [studied them] but they’ll be a lot for us to look at in the next couple of weeks. Until last weekend we were still focused on the A-League and making sure we f nished the season in the strongest way possible. Now we’ll just give all our attention to Asia. In the coming weeks we’ll get all the information about the sides we’re playing but we already know that the Japanese and Korean teams will be very tough – and the best side in China are in our group.

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NICK CARLE’S CAREER

AppsGls

1997/2002 Sydney Olympic 2002/03

Troyes AC50

2003/05

Marconi Stallions256

2005/07

Newcastle Jets

2007/08

Gençlerbirliği SK141

2008 2008/10 2010 –

86 12

427

Bristol City170 Crystal Palace594 Sydney FC173

Considering the way the team f nished the A-League season you must feel you’re going into the Champion’s League on a high. Or is missing out on the f nals still in your mind?

I’m still very disappointed to be honest. I would have loved to have f nished in the f nals but we left ourselves with to do much to do. At least now we’ve got a chance to make amends in the Champions League. It’s good we’ve got these games to focus on otherwise we’d just feel frustrated. It’s a second chance.

Can you feel a difference in the dressing room now compared to before the unbeaten run?

It’s a lot easier to go into the dressing room when you’re winning. I have to say though that even through the bad times, the team’s professionalism has been f rst class. We always believed in the way we were playing but we had such bad luck with injuries. We kept faith in the system when it would have been easier to point f ngers and all credit to the coaching staff because the last couple of months have proven us right. We just ran out of time in the end.

Finally, who’s your tip for the grand f nal and why… or do you not care now?

(Laughs) No I’ll be following it. I’m a believer in whoever’s the best team after 30 rounds deserves to win – so from that point of view I think Brisbane deserve it.

Sydney FC are offering BBM readers a great deal to watch all three of their AFC Champions League home games for just $45. See the inside front cover, next to the contents page, for more information.

SPORT GUIDE

Contents PAGE 73 Football Interview: Sydney FC’s Nick Carle PAGE 72 Football News: Joe versus the volcano

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PAGE 70 Football Feature: The return of Andy Gray PAGE 68 Football View: With Alen Delic PAGE 66 World Sport: UFC interview PAGES 64 & 65 Scoreboard: All the latest football results and tables

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