CONTENTS ISSUE 601
The Cover
Review
BACK FOR FOOD - 8 Apparently hissy f ts aren’t good exercise as Bobby and Barlow have resorted to a Biggest Loser challenge before their big reunion tour.
SAW VII - 16 After countless traps, multiple severed limbs and one freakylooking puppet, we check out the f nal Saw f lm, which is available on DVD and Blu-Ray.
Regulars
Interview
Sport
TIM & JEAN - 10 The Perth locals are releasing their new album on April Fools Day, but their music is serious business. We catch up with Jean to discuss.
JUST TERRY-BLE - 86 When the earth is being destroyed by mother nature, at least one thing’s for sure; John Terry is looking for some company.
6 10 14 16 20 22 28 30 34 36 40 42 62 68 72 76 78 78 80 90
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
GOSSIP INTERVIEWS WRAP REVIEWS SOAPS UK NEWS IRISH NEWS WORLD NEWS SYDNEY MELBOURNE PERTH QUEENSLAND RECRUITMENT CLASSIFIEDS HOSTEL LISTINGS CRYSTAL BALLS ASK CRYSTAL JOKES SCOREBOARD SPORT
BBM MANAGING DIRECTOR John McMahon
john.mcmahon@what-media.com
EDITOR Ben Harlum
ben.harlum@what-media.com
SPORTS EDITOR Richard Gadsby
richard.gadsby@what-media.com
6
GUEST SPORTS EDITOR Adam Santarossa ONLINE EDITOR Hannah Shakir
hannah.shakir@what-media.com
CONTRIBUTORS Jeremy Williams, David Mahoney, Deborah Jackson, Maddie Daniels, Alex Berwick, Hannah Beesley, Vanessa Higgins, Lorna Evio, Alexandra McIntyre, Ashley Moore, David Drummond, Sian Gammie, Alen Delic, Robin Lewis and James Stapleton INTERNS Jaymes Peckham, Holger Synowzik and Allyson Taubenheim HEAD DESIGNER Kylie Howard
design@what-media.com
WEB DEVELOPERS Jess Comber, Luke Webber
44 PO Box 784 Queen Victoria Building NSW 1230
4
12
14
P: (02) 8231 7700 F: (02) 9299 4966
TWITTER: @bbmmagazine
W: www.bbmlive.com E: info@what-media.com
FACEBOOK: /bbmmagazine
ADVERTISING: tom.shakir@what-media.com
SUBSCRIPTIONS: isubscribe.com.au
ADVERTISING AND MARKETING COORDINATOR Mary Atkin ADVERTISING Joe Smith
joe.smith@what-media.com
Donna Parry Dave Hudson James Marsh ADVERTISING & PROMOTIONS MANAGER Tom Shakir SALES AND MARKETING DIRECTOR Guchi Shakir PRINTED BY Spotpress
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
GOSSIP
BBM always knew Russell Brand was really quite intelligent.
GAGA FADES TO BLACK
He’s managed to make a fortune out of his stories of being a crackhead, then managed to bag Katy Perry as his wife, and getting a Hollywood career – quite frankly the man is a genius!
OH, Gaga. We knew you had bad taste but this is just unforgivable. More shocking than the meat dress, the foetus ensemble and the teeny weeny put together is the latest of comments from the queen of the freaks: Rebecca Black is a genius. Sorry, what? Are we mistaken or was it originally Descartes who said, “Gotta get my bowl, gotta have cereal”? The teenager behind the YouTube disease Friday has got Gaga behind her, even if blind, deaf and dead people can’t bear her. “I think it’s fantastic. I say Rebecca Black is a genius and anyone that’s telling her she’s cheesy is full of shit”. Wait. Gaga hasn’t even watched the video? Now it’s making more sense. Black, the organoleptically offensive and painfully shameless lover of food chain TGIF is now claiming that her YouTube fame has left her a victim of cyber bullying. We’ve read the comments. And we could’ve thought of worse. If we earnt $27,000 a week from iTunes and YouTube, it’d be really hard for us to care.
LIFE is so unfair. Some people get all the luck. What BBM wouldn’t give to have been born into an elite gene pool like Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the couple that no one can believe were not designer babies: Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston. We didn’t know they had a kid, but she’s bound to be a success. And by the sounds of it she’s doing her darndest to get a head start. At just 18 she’s already got a drug addiction and a sex tape. Lucky bitch. And, just in case there was a chance she had a glitter of hope she might end up with some credibility, she’s gone and got herself her own reality show. The multi-talented nobody also speaks several languages, a skill she shows off frequently on her twitter account: “The world needs 2know me 4who I REALLY am_ U all will get 2see my everyday living_ walk with me thro startin my career. . EVERYTHING.” Obviously we’re all looking forward to seeing more and more from Bobbi. Honestly, as long as she doesn’t whip her hair back and forth we don’t really care.
TIGER’S WELL UNDER PAR THIS is almost as creepy as the whole, “I used to have a Tom Cruise poster on my wall and now I get to pretend he’s straight and fertile, and we made this baby and he just ate my placenta” saga.
Now he’s even gone and found a way to prevent being asked to babysit ever again. Commenting on his behaviour around children, the comic said that “when I’m around my mates’ children, I jazz them kids up. I swear at them, I get them all worked up. I f ll their heads with crazy nonsense, then leave them.” Who on earth is going to let you babysit after that? So, BBM readers, next time someone asks you to watch the kids, preventing you from getting shitfaced and watching the game, act like Russell Brand. You never know, you may marry a popstar while you’re at it!
CLARK County Deputy District Attorney David Schubert, who charged both Bruno Mars and Paris Hilton with possession of cocaine, has been arrested for… possession of cocaine. So perhaps he should go a little easier next time he gets presented with a snow lover.
Sex pest Tiger Woods is at it again. This time shacking up with a woman he’s known and loved for 15 years. Awww. She’s 22. Ewww. Alyse Lahti Johntson’s stepfather lives next door to the Tiger and is an executive with AIG, the agency that represents him. We bet he’s thrilled. Back in the day Alyse used to draw Tiger crayon drawings before his tournaments to wish him luck. Bet they were fucking f lthy. Slut. “They had photos in their house of their family with Tiger,” claims someone’s cousin’s babysitter who once saw Tiger at Sizzler. “But Alyse never said she was interested in him!” said the reliable source.
6
D... LAST WEEK
TIGER & GIRLFRIEN
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
Celebrating 30 Years of Stand Up Comedy
TICKETS FROM $10 COMEDYSTORE.COM.AU | 9020 6966
Full Festival Line up On Sale Now! FEATURING: DANNY BHOY, STEPHEN K AMOS, GINA YASHERE, NINA CONTI, MARK WATSON, ARDAL O’HANLON, TOMMY TIERNAN, ROY CHUBBY BROWN & MANY MANY MORE 11 APRIL - 8 MAY 2011 | SYDNEYCOMEDYFEST.COM.AU | 9020 6966
GOSSIP SLIM WHEN YOU’RE WINNING AS much as we wish it was a celebrity deathmatch, unfortunately the boys from Take That are entering into a different sort of rivalry.
a serious game on to see who can get the thinnest for the tour.” And we’re all like, “Sorry boys did your cocks just fall off?”
Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow have bet a four-f gure sum over who can lose the most weight before their comeback tour starts. Robbie’s all like, “Me and Gary vary in weight. We go up and down by the week. We were at my house last week when Gary turns to me and says, ‘I won’t be needing these clothes soon, do you want them?’ – ‘cos he’s going on a diet.”
The pair have quite the f tness role-model in Christian Bale, “You know The Machinist?” said Robbie, “I’m going for Christian Bale...”
WE’RE SORRY.
And Gary’s all like, “Right, if you’re eating a lettuce, I’m eating half a lettuce. There is now
8
WE’RE sure that Prince William and Kate Middleton are absolutely thrilled that the American network Lifetime have decided to desecrate the sanctity of marriage by creating a movie about their relationship. We’ve seen the promo and safe to say it looks completely and utterly pants. Bad acting, cheesy script writing, bad styling, and general embarrassing representations of the British monarchy and the UK in general? Congrats, Lifetime.
Supposedly all Batman ate in preparation for that gig was one apple and one cup of coffee a day. Hardcore.
“Sweet,” Robbie said as he came up for air, “cause one of your loads is what? Like seven calories?”
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
INTERVIEW
tim and jean
“We just started the whole thing as a bit of fun, two good friends hanging out making music. We were just making tracks for the sake of making music. We’re really stoked and grateful for what has happened. It’s been really exciting. We don’t know what’s going to happen or what is coming up. I don’t think we ever thought we’d have an album out.” To call Tim & Jean an overnight sensation has all sorts of negative connotations that should not be applied to the Perth pair. Far from being reality TV sensations, the pair found that the weird and wonderful world of the internet really can help garner attention for true talent.
Having recorded a few tracks at home, an excited Jean put the track straight onto Triple J, who championed the partnership and the rest as the say is history. With their debut album, Like What, about to hit the shelves , Jean told JEREMY WILLIAMS that the album evolved in a similar way to their initial output. “We kind of had one or two tracks together when we f rst started jamming. We won a competition to play the Parklife Festival and that forced us to write a hell of a lot of songs really quickly. We put the album together in two or three weeks.”
INTERVIEW
A pretty adventurous band from Manchester, Elbow have been around since 1990, releasing four studio albums, four EP’s and ten top f fty singles in the UK along the way. ALEX McINTYRE spoke to their drummer, Richard, to talk about their new album.
Can you tell me a bit about the new album, Build a Rocket Boys? Well we’re at an age now where we are reminiscing, getting arthritis and illnesses. It’s all about being at the age between 13 and 16, when you were growing up on the cusp of possible greatness, you smoke a bit, there’s some beer and you’re noticing ladies... It was mostly Guy [Garvey, lead vocalist] who came up with this idea while we were on a writing trip, he immediately wrote Jesus was a Rock N’ Roll star, which is one of the simplest stripped-back songs we’ve ever done. Most bands write songs about being young while they are young and then, as they get older and wiser, they follow that subject matter. Do you think you are maybe regressing? Always. We are constantly mucking about, getting in trouble with our wives. We’re all hitched with kids now, except for Guy. It’s pretty cool because the kids love it, they can come to the studio and get on the drums and make a racket, I’m taking mine to Glastonbury which will be a great experience.
10
Admitting that “it was a pretty stressful time”, Jean is pleased that the result is a “fun album, it’s the early music from us, from back in 2009. It’s just something that captured where we were at the time.” “I think people are expecting it to be totally synth, electronic-driven but its got a lot of acoustic in there. That is where Tim and I are more comfortable, playing in a live situation. It is just, in my opinion, a happy and fun type of record.” Tim and Jean’s album, Like What, is available on April 1st.
elbow
Do you have a track on the album that’s your favourite? The Birds. The lyrics are phenomenal, it’s about a doomed love affair witnessed by the birds f ying over. The track builds up, a real ‘Elbow builder’ like Newborn. Are you allowed to coin your own phrase like that, ‘Elbow builder’? Well it is! [laughs] Would I be right in saying that there’s a different sound to this album? There is a bit of a movement into synth and strings. The song Night will Always Wait, I wasn’t there because I was on my honeymoon but the boys went in really hungover after the wedding and the only thing they could move was their f ngers so they sat around with four strings and the sound that was made... Basically if you’re really hungover, amazing things will happen... Elbow’s Build a Rocket Boys is in stores now.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
INTERVIEW
Jason Byrne is fucking mental. There’s no denying that. And he won’t deny it either. While burning his pasty Iris h skin in the mid-mo rning sun at Bondi Beach, the man talks to SIA M GAMMIE about his uni que brand of comedy , how he dragged his balls in half and the importance of having a nice jacket… How did you come to call the show “Cirqu e De Byrne”? The show I’m doing is very physical. See, the thing with me is that I like naming shows and then I don’t really know wha t to put in them. The reas on I like Cirque De Byrne is cause all my shows are like a fucking night out anyway. It’s not just stan dup. And then I did a sho w where I got this real ly cool jacket.
jason byrne
The red one? Did you see that? Yeah I did see that... Yeah! And I went “fuc k that looks cool”. And then I got the hat and I thought “shit I’ve got ta do a show like that, that’d be grand.” So we’ve got a lovely big velvet curtain at the back and a festoon ligh t. And make it all feel burlesquey. And we hav e burlesque girls and freaks. Freaks? Yeah we’ve got freaks, real circus freaks. And you’ve got the jac ket. And the hat. Yes! And we also have skippers. Step aerobics and skippers. And I man age to get my whole bod y into a pair spanks.
INTERVIEW “We started in the UK and headed across western Europe. It was freakin’ freezing. Amsterdam was the worst,” drones drummer and solo singer/songwriter Mike Noga, who is pleased to be back for the “death rows of summer” as he sits with JEREMY WILLIAMS in North Fitzroy, having a gasbag over an early afternoon beer.
Does it ever just go rea lly wrong when you get someone out of the audience? No because as I say they trust me, like I’m doin g one thing, with the skip ping where I actually got a mic lead and there was a woman just standing there and I actually just went whack in her face . Oh yeah, and I split a guy’s head open with the microphone here one time… Jason Byrne is touring with Cirque De Byrne around Australia as par t of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.
Catch him damaging himself in Melbourne from March 29th, Per th in late April and Syd ney early May. He asks if you could please brin g him a present. No, rea lly.
mike noga
Leaving the chill-inducing talk of European winters behind us, we move quickly on to Noga’s soulful second album, The Balladeer Hunter. Having spent so long behind his drum kit in Melbourne’s f nest, The Drones, does Noga get at all nervous standing alone under the spotlight? “I am shitting myself about it. I think about it all the time, but that said I have always written songs. Though it is my second record, this will probably be the f rst that is forthcoming into people’s line of sight. But I have been doing it for a long enough time that I feel really comfortable doing it. It is the Ying to the Yang of The Drones. I love playing loud rock n’ roll music, but I also love the quieter side as well.” Noga decided it was important to make a stand and write a record that meant something to him on a musical level. A direct response to the throwaway pop that dominates the radio waves, Noga is sincere in his wish to bring a bit of heart back into the art of music making. “I was getting to the point where I was sick of hearing this over-produced, over-dubbed, over-everything. I had a yearning for simplicity, something earnest with a bit of soul. Just something different to what I was hearing on the radio.” While certainly not along in his dislike of the generic mainstream, Noga concedes that maybe he is “just a hopeless romantic.” The Balladeer Hunter is available from April 1st. No Joke. Photo: Jeremy Williams
12
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
THE WRAP ILLUSIVE are launching their new popup party brand, One Take, at Oxford Art Factory next week. The show will be headlined by Tinie Tempah, whose fast becoming a global phenomenon with two Brit Awards under his belt. When: Friday, April 7 Where: Oxford Art Factory Tickets: via. www.moshtix.mobi
WEEKEND WEEKS IN TOTAL BOX EARNINGS RELEASE OFFICE
FILM
1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3
BATTLE: LA
$3
1
$3
RANGO
$2
2
$6
LIMITLESS
$2
1
$2
RANGO
£1
2
£3
BATTLE: LA
£1
1
£1
UNKNOWN
£1
3
£3
LIMITLESS
$19
1
$19
RANGO
$15
3
$92
BATTLE: LA
$15
2
$61
A U S T R A L I A
T H E U K
A M E R I C A
$ IN MILLIONS
CREAMFIELDS is almost around the corner with a massive lineup of acts to get your Easter pumping. The lineup includes Deadmau5, Martin Solveig, Wynter Gordon and a bunch more. Adelaide: Ent. Centre, April 22 Perth: Showgrounds, April 23 Melbourne: Showgrounds, April 25 Sydney: EQ Showring, April 30 Brisbane: Showgrounds, May 1
GET up close and party with two of the biggest names in hip-hop, Snoop Dogg and Nelly, at this unique live show.
FOR THE LATEST MUSIC NEWS VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/MUSIC-NEWS NOW! ...YES, RIGHT NOW.
With a venue capacity of only 750 people, this is a unique opportunity to see these two artists in an intimate setting. Where: Friday, April 8th When: Star City Casino Cost: $179
HIGHEST WEEKS IN POSITION RELEASE
MUSIC
1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3
LAST WEEK
JENNIFER LOPEZ
1
4
2
PRICE TAG
JESSIE J
2
3
3
RIHANNA
S&M
1
9
1
NICOLE SCHERZINGER
1
1
-
SOMEONE LIKE YOU
ADELE
1
8
1
GOLD FOREVER
WANTED
3
1
-
ON THE FLOOR
DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH
LADY GAGA
1
5
1
CEE LO GREEN
2
29
2
KATY PERRY & KANYE WEST
3
5
8
BORN THIS WAY FUCK YOU E.T
A U S T R A L I A
T H E U K
A M E R I C A
ON BBMLIVE.COM THIS WEEK PARIS FASHION WEEK “The f nale of fashion weeks the world over always culminates in the world’s true epicentre of style… Paris. We’ll take you through the main events of Paris Fashion Week, and give you the lowdown on what this great city has to offer the Fashion World for Autumn / Winter 2011...”
COMPETITION HOPMAN ALCOHOL REMOVED PREMIUM BEER GIVEAWAY
THERE’S now a beverage on the market that looks, smells and most importantly tastes like a premium imported beer, yet it contains half the calories of full-strength beer – welcome Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale. Whether you’re looking to reduce your alcohol consumption or simply enjoy the taste of beer (but don’t want to be under the inf uence of alcohol), Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale is the perfect solution. It allows you to feel part of the occasion, but eliminates the carb consumption and promises a clear head the next morning.
responsibly’ and concern about health and weight, as evidenced by the growing popularity of low carb beers. To celebrate the launch of Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale, we have two cases to giveaway to one lucky BBM reader - see if you can taste the difference!
Höpman Alcohol Removed Premium Pale is available in a convenient four-pack from Woolworths, Dan Murphy’s, Franklins, Jim’s Cellars and selected IGA stores nationally. The recommended retail price is $7.99 for a four-pack. For more information, visit their website at www.hopmanbrewing.com.au
As a nation of beer drinkers it’s typical for Aussies to have a beer in hand at most, if not all, social events but things are changing. There is an increasing focus on ‘drinking
TO ENTER THIS COMPETITION, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM COMPETITIONS.HTML 14
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
REVIEWS SAW: FINAL CHAPTER DIRECTORRELEASED
CAST
Tobin Bell Cary Elwes
Kevin Greutert (Saw VI)
OF COURSE, you’re either a sucker for gore or a huge fan of the Saw f lms if you’ve made it with me to the seventh, and f nal, f lm. If you’re a Saw virgin, stop. Rent the previous six and enjoy the ride, as the f lm works best after a marathon session of all Saw movies. Storywise, the f lm is a really satisfying ending to arguably the best horror franchise since Scream, with all loose ends tied. You have to give it to the writers who came in after Saw 3 and linked all the f lms together with a surprisingly detailed and complex storyline, and managed to deliver a sense of closure with this f nal f lm.
RATING
Now
In Cinemas (R18+)
The one issue I have with Saw 7 is that, since the f lm was theatrically released in 3D, there’s more traps than ever which overshadow the storyline a tad - in its f nal installment, the story should the main focus. Luckily, the traps are really fun to watch - namely the opening ‘love triangle’ and the old ‘stuck to the carseat’ trick. While it’s not the best f lm of the series (Hello, Saw 6), it’s the return of Dr. Gordon from Saw 1 that links everything together for a solid two thumbs up - if Jigsaw hasn’t cut them off yet. Ben Harlum
LUPE FIASCOMIKE NOGA RELEASED
ALBUM Lasers
RATING
Now
In Stores & Digitally
WITH most albums of this genre beginning with a bang, Lupe takes a more somber approach, beginning with two quite melancholy songs. Of course, this is Lupe Fiasco, so there are a fair share of songs
straight from the hit factory production line, such as I Don’t Wanna Care Right Now (which is almost an answering call to Letting Go) and Out of My Head – both tracks full of f uid beats, catchy hooks and simple lyrics. It’s fun to listen to - but you know exactly what you’ll hear - he’s very good at what he does, but you’re always left with the feeling that he could do more. Robin Lewis
ALBUM
The Balladeer Hunter
RELEASED
RATING
April 1
In Stores
than a little bit different to his usual rock stylings, the soothing soulful folk rock demonstrated on The Balladeer Hunter places Noga immediately at the top of his game. HAVING sat behind a drum kit for a good half of the past decade as a member of celebrated Melbourne rockers The Drones, Mike Noga has realigned his attentions to his blossoming solo career. While his solo efforts are more
Noga is taking baby steps away from his day job, but armed with a brooding rasp and attention to detail in his writing, he is well on the way to being far more than the man known as the drummer from The Drones. Jeremy Williams
COMPETITIONS AFTER its launch into Australia last year, Creamf elds is back bigger and better for Easter 2011. The team behind Stereosonic are committed to bringing you some of the world’s best acts, utilizing some of the best venues in Australia. How do free tickets sound? We’ve got a double pass for each show to give away.
IN Wild Target, a gorgeous con artist (Emily Blunt) discovers that crime doesn’t pay when her unsatisf ed customer hires Europe’s top assassin to take her out. But Victor (Bill Nighy) vows to protect the scammer, and f nds himself the unwitting mentor to a young protégé (Rupert Grint). Thanks to Icon Film, BBM has f ve copies of the DVD to give away.
MINISTRY of Paintball have kindly agreed to give away an unlimited number of free VIP Field Entry Passes to all BBM readers. All entry passes are fully transferable so you can forward them onto anyone, even to people you know in the UK as the passes are valid at over 120 Ministry of Paintball locations there.
TO ENTER ANY OF THESE COMPS, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM 16
FOLLOWING on from the successful Spice Af oat in February featuring Butch / Vincenzo and Spice Af oat NYE featuring Slam and Milton Jackson, Spice Af oat is proud to present the third cruise for 2011 with one of the world’s hottest artists, Joris Voorn from The Netherlands.
COMPETITIONS.HTML BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
Nurses, want an agency that looks after you?
Proudly UK & Irish Owned
24/7 is Sydney’s premier nursing agency, supplying staff to public & private hospitals across Sydney & rural Australia t t t t t t
)JHIFTU 1BZ 3BUFT JO 4ZEOFZ 'SFF 6OJGPSNT 8FFLMZ 1BZ #POVTFT 'MFYJCMF DIPJDF PG 4IJGUT 'BCVMPVT 4PDJBM $MVC 4QPOTPSTIJQ 0QQPSUVOJUJFT
The agency that looks after you!
Call: 13 000 247 247 info@247nursing.com.au www.247nursing.com.au
PHOTOS SMIRNOFF EXCHANGE & DIM MAK AT FUTURE 2011
18
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
SOAPS CORONATION ST.
ROMANCE is on the cards for f nds out about the money she Janice this week when she is refuses to divorce him. reunited with her former lodger Trev Dean. Gail rubs Tracy up the wrong way when she informs Frank Later in the week the pair that Tracy killed her last share a kiss and leave the boyfriend. Street together. Later, Steve tells Becky Meanwhile, Kevin tries to keep some home truths after she quiet about a big win on the confronts her mother in law. scratch cards, but when Sally
EastEnders THINGS get out of hand for Whitney this week as her realisations of being sold into prostitution come to the forefront, and everyone is shocked at what’s happened. Alf e asks Kat to try IVF and she eventually agrees to give it a go, but he later admits that his marriage isn’t working. Little George suffers some
burns at the hands of Jodie’s curling tongs when Darren asks her to watch him, however it’s clear that the tot is putting a strain on their relationship. Meanwhile, Max is furious when he walks in on Abi and Jay kissing in the front room. When Max later goads the lad in the street and insults his late father Jase, Jay punches him.
Christy f nds it hard to get back to normal with the prying eyes of Carrigstown upon him. Bob acts as Christy’s conf dant and encourages him to seek revenge. Leo and Ray encourage Christy to venture out to the opening of The Station, assuring him Carol won’t be there. Carol and Louie voice their concerns to Christy about him selling his shares to Bob, leading to Christy having some choice words for him. TO READ ALL THE LATEST GOSSIP BEFORE IT HITS THE MAGAZINE, VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/GOSSIP
|▲
HOLLYOAKS +
HOLLYOAKS is set for a spectacular f ght scene this week, when tensions f nally bubble over between bad boys Warren and Brendan. Warren knows that Brendan set him up when Danny Houston’s body was found in the river last week, and with that he sets about playing mind games with him. But Brendan is very confused 20
when Warren appears to be f irting with him. The f nal straw is when he later walks in to f nd Mitzeee in bed with Warren, at which point he challenges him to a f ght outside. The f ght sees the pair tear through the village, but who will come out on top?
Emmerdale CHAS encourages Debbie to give things a go with Cameron this week, and after much deliberation she agrees to give him a second chance.
eventually has a change of heart after Hazel lets rip at him.
Meanwhile, Chas is upset when Jai decides not to invest in the Woolpack.
Aaron also makes the shock confession to Jackson that he’s seen his video diary and knows that he wants to die, and Jackson f nally opens up to Aaron about his struggle.
Jackson continues to be emotionally tense as he refuses to be Godfather to his young half-brother Josh, but
Jimmy f nds out that he may have been having an affair prior to his accident and is determined to know more. BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
IT’S YOUR PLACE Sydney’s largest specialist FURNISHED accommodation agent. We cater for singles, couples, friends and groups seeking their own flats and houses.
CALL NOW ON 02 8669 3678 TO ORGANISE A FREE PROPERTY VIEWING OR Go to WWW.FURNISHEDPROPERTY.COM.AU for more furnished rooms and flats across Sydney.
ELIZABETH BAY GUEST BONDI BEACH GUEST HOUSE SINGLE ROOMS 1 HOUSE 1 MONTH MONTH MINIMUM STAY MINIMUM STAY What
This property has a great social atmosphere with a large rooftop to enjoy the Sydney sun. Relax in the evening with a BBQ with your new friends. Where Elizabeth Bay Road, Elizabeth Bay. Cost Single rooms from $180 pp/pw.
What
SYDNEY CENTRAL GUEST HOUSE 1 MONTH MINIMUM STAY
FURNISHED STUDIO/ONE BEDROOM FLATS HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED SO YOU CAN JUST MOVE STRAIGHT IN.
FURNISHED TWO/THREE BEDROOM FLATS SYDNEY’S BEST LOCATIONS
EXECUTIVE ONE/TWO/ THREE BEDROOM FLATS STROLL FROM SYDNEY’S CBD AND HARBOUR
Room with views and an amazing rooftop deck right on Bondi Beach. BBQ, sun bake, surf or just relax! Where Campbell Parade, Bondi Beach. Cost Double or Twin from $150 pp/pw (Single rooms from $240 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases.
What
This superb guesthouse has generous sized bedrooms all with ensuite bathrooms, TV, fridges and more. Building has new kitchen with top of the range applicants and BBQ for alfresco dining. Where South Dowling Street, Surry Hills. Cost Double or Twin from $150 pp/pw (Single rooms from $280 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases.
What Our two/three bedroom range includes functional flats What which include all the required furniture and amenities All the flats are furnished to a high standard including to ensure you have a great stay. dining tables and superior lounge room fit outs. Where Sydney CBD, Inner West, Eastern Sydney, Bondi Where Sydney CBD, Inner West, Eastern Suburbs, Sydney, Where Junction, Bondi and Coogee Beach. Bondi Junction, Bondi and Coogee Beach. Cost Cost From $160 pp/pw (4-6 share). Cost Double or Twin from $170 pp/pw Negotiable for 6 month leases. (Single Studios from $320 pw). Negotiable for 6 month leases. What
CENTRAL RAILWAY APARTMENTS Central Railway Apartments centrally located in Chalmers Street 600m from Central Railway Station.
Executive apartments within walking distance of Sydney’s CBD. Apartments feature top of the range Italian furnishings, street frontage over looking parks and a panoramic view of the city. Sydney CBD. One bed from $250 pp/pw. Two & Three bed from $200 pp/pw (4-6 share) Negotiable for 6 month leases.
$99 Per Night (SLEEPS UP TO 4 PEOPLE)
1 WEEK $560 P/W 2 WEEKS $500 P/W 3 WEEKS $450 P/W 4 WEEKS $420 P/W 1 MONTH + $375 P/W
A ROOM OR FLAT FOR EVERY BUDGET CALL NOW ON 02 8669 3678 to register for a property inspection go to WWW.FURNISHEDPROPERTY.COM.AU
UK NEWS AN AFTER-SCHOOL SPECIAL
BBM is really starting to learn that education is a lot more fun these days than it was when we were whipper snappers, having our young minds shaped and coached into the great people we are today. Okay, so we mostly learnt how to be sarcy buggers, and how to avoid embarrassment by our shortcomings. But we digress. 38-year-old Cathy Holdcroft, a teaching assistant in Staffordshire, recently came under f re for sending 15-year-old Jacob Gerrard inappropriate texts and Facebook messages, one of which read; “I miss your smiley face xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mrs H xxxxxxxxxxxxx.”
That’s a lot of x’s right there, and since when is a 15-year-old allowed on Facebook? Shouldn’t they be eating worms or something? Kids these days... When Jacob did not reply, she sent more messages and started phoning him late at night. She also sent another message asking if “I really have to get p****d again Jacob?”
Apparently the young lad was confused and scared (what’s there to be confused about?), and his guardian pulled him out of the school. Yes it’s a bit wrong, but what a little pussy! BBM have seen a photo of this Jacob character and, quite frankly, he should be glad for the attention. Sure, we’ll be registered sex offenders for saying such things but we’re the voice of the people, damnit! A spokesman for Staffordshire Council said that “The school has suspended the member of staff while it undertakes an internal investigation,” as he deleted his various Facebook accounts.
SUCH A COP-OUT IT’S good to know that our safety back home lies with the upstanding and honorable police force in the UK.
Once again, you may argue that she was simply misguided and didn’t realise the object of her affections was a drug dealer.
Or so we thought.
She was due to give evidence against him in court. Well done, Rebecca, well done.
31-year-old Rebecca French, a police off cer from West Yorkshire, has been given the old heave ho after getting wasted in a local nightclub. Now, you may leap to Rebecca’s defence (despite her unfortunate surname) for simply knocking back a frosty beverage or two. However, she proceeded to f irt with a drug dealer while smashed in the club.
22
She ended up yacking on the f oor and was escorted out. BBM gathers that she woke up with a bigger dose of “the fear” than we’ve ever managed to muster - and we’ve had some big nights (see: any work function).
STUDENT debts and credit cards getting you down? Are you hankering after a new shinier life, filled with fast cars and women? Then fear not as being an Avon Lady could just be what the doctor ordered! When Ms Coulson, of Stanley, County Durham was faced with debts of £35,000 due to her ex-partner spending all their cash on new clothes and cars, someone suggested to her that perhaps she should become an Avon lady, and before she knew it she’d made £1million turnover in just three years. So remember, when life gets you down, go and sell Avon makeup. No really, we hereby hand in our notice at BBM to go and embark on our true calling at Avon.
THERE are some weird phobias out there but Kayleigh Barker, a waitress in Southhampton, has one of the strangest. Tomatoes. The 22 year old can’t even look at a tomato if it is on her plate, but will squirt ketchup all over her food. Confused? Us too. The phobia even has a real name, Lycopersicoa. Try saying it ten times fast. As a waitress she has to see them daily but doesn’t look at the plate or go near them in the kitchen. She claims that when her friend gave her a tomato as a present she ran out of the restaurant and refused to work for the rest of the day. I know what we’re ordering next time, a salad with an extra portion of those little red fruits.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
Call us on
1300freespirit migration@freespirit.com.au
Let us complete the
Migration puzzle for you
Put your Visa in safe hands ENS Permanent Residency
457 Business Visa
Skilled Migration
Partner Visa
Speak with our migration specialists today about how we can help you extend your time in Australia www.freespirit.com.au
0$51
UK NEWS STONE THE CROWS! AS BBM is well aware, most good films are inspired by real life. It would appear as if the 1969 film Kes, in which a schoolboy befriends a kestrel after stealing it from its nest, was inspired by real life. Schoolboy Emmanuel Adams, from Sunderland, has become the object of desire for a jackdaw, as it began to befriend him on his walk to school every morning, by sitting on his head. The crow now turns up with him at school perched on his shoulder, and even comes
BBM has seen some terrifying things in our time - wars, horror f lms, What Katie Did Next. But nothing compares to the latest trend hitting the UK - designer vagina surgery.
IT’S pretty hard to try and claim that you were unfairly pushed out of your job.
home with him, sits on his arm whilst he watches TV. What BBM would like to know is why this never happen to us?! How cool would it be to have an animal sidekick that followed you everywhere. It’d be just like Batman, except without that pussy Robin. It’d be great, when you didn’t want to go to certain meetings you could easily say that “my sloth’s sitting on me and I can’t get up.”
However, it helps if you’re Paul O’Donoghue, an ex-member of the staff at Woburn Safari Park in Bedfordshire. He claims he was forced out of his job after complaining about conditions at the attraction. Namely, that an elephant would escape. Spoiler; it did in fact escape. Dr Paul is suing Bedford Estates for constructive dismissal after he left his job in December 2009.
At least, that’s what we tell the missus in bed... TRUST us, it takes a lot for a man to propose. BBM will never be tied down because we can never be tamed!
She tells Metro that “I was ashamed and embarrassed of the way I looked downstairs after having a baby, but it wasn’t just about appearance. There are physical health implications if your vagina becomes stretched and misshapen.”
Okay, so we can’t f nd somebody who’ll agree to marry us. It’s a common problem, alright?!
No typo there folks. Designer vagina procedures fall into two categories; labiaplasty, which involves shortening the length of protruding inner labia, and vaginoplasty to tighten the wall of the vagina.
There’s been a 70% increase in the number of women having labiaplasty in the past year. Just wait, they’ll hire Katie Price as spokesperson any day now...
At least we’re not as bad as Dave Palmer, who only proposed to his girlfriend to make up for the fact that their house blew up in the centre of a massive gas blast last year. What a twat.
Bet you’re glad you picked up this issue of BBM.
Apparently, just like showing a celebrity’s haircut to a hairdresser, you can show your doctor a photo of what you’re aiming for. Lovely.
“It took nearly 25 years and a gas blast to get Dave down the aisle,” the girlfriend said.
And no, there’s no accompaning photo for this story. You sick bastard.
$5 says she organised the gas blast...
Take hopeless twat Debra Hooker for example (and lets ignore the hilarious surname for a second here).
ON the week of BBM’s 600th issue celebrations, a story reached us from the UK about a woman who has been f ned after a post-work evening drink with friends turned into a dirty protest at a hospital. Coincidence? We think not. Stay classy, BBM’s London Off ce! Ellen Wardropper (another great surname) innocently began her night at the Crown Pub in Sutton but ended up being arrested for threatening to throw her own faeces at St Helier Hospital staff. Sounds like a normal night to us, what’s the problem there?
years-old... Ellen agreed to meet workmates for a drink, skipped dinner and got smashed
on wine. Within an hour, she had stripped naked from the waist down and had urinated and defecated on herself. Police took her to the hospital after she was found slumped in the street. After she threatened to throw her faeces at hospital staff, police were again called. Magistrates, who described Wardropper’s behaviour as “disgusting”, handed her a nine-month conditional discharge and f ned her £191. We prefer to call her a real shitty “life of the party.”
Well, apart from the fact that she’s 56-
24
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
UK NEWS WHAT AN F-WHIT BBM got in trouble last week for playing Rebecca Black’s Friday on YouTube all-day Friday. Not because her or her friends are attractive, they are thirteen so that would be very illgeal. No, it was just fun to see the shitty song get stuck in everybody’s head. So congratulations to the Folkestone man who had his stereo and CD collection confiscated after repeatedly playing Whitney Houston’s I’m Every Woman. BBM is more partial to I Will Always Love You but that’s another matter entirely. Apparently the man tormented other people that lived in the same block of flats by repeatedly playing his small CD collection, which involved a high culture mix of rap and girly pop songs until he was served with a noise abatement notice.
forced to break down the door of his flat and confiscate his stereo and CD’s. Liam Flannery, an environmental health officer for Shepway District Council, said that “Unfortunately, the man concerned didn’t have an extensive CD collection so it was the same few songs. From gangsta rap to I’m Every Woman, over and over again.” Inbetween showing us his Whitney impression, he continued. “We’ve got his stuff now and the warrant’s open, so if he buys any more we’ll take that too.” Next time you’re in a cheesy club and Whitney Houston starts blaring out, spare a thought for that poor bugger. And poor Whitney, she’s just not the same since she divorced Bobby Brown.
CAR FOR THE COURSE A car fanatic from Essex has claimed himself a Skoda which comes with its very own golf course. You’re probably thinking of a toy set in the back but this car has really been pimped out. You see, the vehicle itself is the golf course. With a flag on top and covered in fake grass - it’s your own mini adventure! At least you don’t have to walk as far. It would’ve been more impressive if the car was a Volkswagen Golf. Despite hating the sport himself, Mr McArthur loves driving around in his new car and loves the attention he gets from it. We’d rather the cake version but that doesn’t drive as well and isn’t road legal just yet. Shame.
When this went unheeded, officers were
26
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
IRISH NEWS NOT QUITE CAB-ARET SO, how would you like to spend several days locked in a coal bunker? Erm... No thanks. That was the question two thugs posed to an unassuming taxi driver (pictured) as they attempted to seize his vehicle earlier this year. Luckily the taxi driver managed to escape through the passenger door of his car, and alert the police. The court was told last week that the driver’s ordeal began after picking up three men and a woman from Poleglass, west Belfast, in January. He began to feel uneasy about discussions between Corey and another suspect as soon as the journey began. “They were asking the taxi driver how he would like to spend several days locked in a coal bunker.” The prosecutor alleged that one of those in the back put their hands up to the victim’s face, and at one stage round his neck. Luckily the judge has not granted the accused bail, so hopefully the sods will be kept locked up until they’ve learned their lesson.
AS BBM is quite aware, when you’re at school, any excuse to be taken out of class is a bonus, no matter the reason; whether it’s a rabid dog in the playground, f ooded toilet cubicles, or our favourite of someone setting the f re alarm off – either way, the less learning time the better. No doubt a school full of children in Dublin were delighted when someone decided to pull what has been described as an “elaborate hoax” and pop a suspicious box with wires hanging out of it at the school gate. The children were of course evacuated to the back of the building and their parents were notif ed via their text messaging system (which makes bunking off harder than it was in our day). The bomb disposal unit swooped down on North Brunswick Street school, only to f nd out that the suspicious package (pictured), was simply… a box with wires hanging out of it. Excellent. Well, at least no one was hurt, and the kids got to miss a couple of hours worth of precious education. Everybody wins!
28
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
GRAN LARSON BBM wasn’t aware that f lms like Bugsy Malone were actually something to worry about in real life, but it would appear it’s becoming a reality for Ireland. A woman in her 50’s was hijacked by knife wielding 12-yearolds in Holywood, (that’s not a typo) as she returned to her mobility scooter. One of them asked if they could try the scooter and when she refused, he produced a knife and demanded money. Two youths then took the scooter, but luckily were stopped by a passing driver. That’s right grannys, beware those kids who are def nitely eyeing up your wheels!
NEVER MIND THE BULLHOOKS WE imagine most travellers to use their f sts when settling disputes (we know from experience), but not Patrick Mongon, who assaulted a woman with a bullhook after she was involved in a dispute on a travellers site in Belfast. Mongan allegedly struck her on the back with the handle of the four-foot-long baton he had been swinging about his head. It’s a shame that life isn’t like the movies (except in Holywood, of course) and the woman didn’t whip out a lasso to hoist the offending bullhook off the 27-year-old pikey, or similarly hook his nostrils and pull.
THE PADDYS ARE GETTING HAMMERED MORE pub violence has been going down on the Emerald Isle as two men ran into a pub armed with a hand gun and a hammer last week. (pictured) Now, where are the Irish getting all these guns from? And whoever’s supplying them with the weapons, stop it you fools! Geez. The pair hoisted around 15,000 euros and whacked one of the bar staff around the head with the hammer before scarpering off to a car with another man waiting for them. The car was later found abandoned in St Anne’s Park. We’re calling for all the priests in Ireland to come forward with anything they may hear during confession.
5HGĂ€RRU VHU 'UXP 0HGLD SUHVHQWV
Proudly P dly ssupporting upp pportingg
The Black Dog Institute t t
The The
KORA Vasco Era C.W Stoneking & & His His Primitive Primitive Horn Horn Orchestra Orchestra
The Bamboos Space Invadas
Custom Kings Resin Dogs Papa Vs Pretty Eagle & The Worm
Chase Chase The The Sun Sun Claude C l a u d e Hay Hay
Zoe K & The Shadow Katz Sticky Fingers Lanie Lane Cheap Fakes The Wildes The Firemen Silent Disco Blackest D i rtt y York Y ork k Blackest Sabbath Sabbath Dirty Bonjah Nga iki Electric Elect ic Band B j h Ngariki
FULL FU ULL WEEKEND ND T TICKE TICKET CKEET Including Inclu uding n g camping p g $$130 ava availablee via the web website. bsite bsite. (until sold out of course!) !)
Bowen Lucky Bo owen & The The Luck Lucky ucky Dutchmen Dutchme Dutchmen
www.thegumball.com.au g
WORLD NEWS GRAND METH AUTO IT’S so hard to f nd a convenient place to run a meth lab these days. After being kicked out of basement after basement, BBM is sick of it. We’re considering giving up all together. Little did we know all we had to do was get our car stolen. Mike Prescott got a nasty surprise when his car was stolen. He then got a nice surprise when he got it back again with the added bonus of a mobile meth lab set up in the boot.
TURNS out that super intelligent, organised criminals really do only exist in the world of Bond and Ocean’s Eleven. To be honest, they weren’t even around for Ocean’s Thirteen so we’re starting to think we set the bar a bit high for the real world. And by the real world we loosely refer to our friends in the United States.
Prescott was all whinging about the safety of his family. “I asked them if is this safe,” Prescott said. “I always thought that the haz-mat suits was, like, overdone but, when it’s in your car and you got an asthmatic daughter, I don’t want to rely on me being right or wrong about it.” “Get over it Dad,” said his daughter, as she chewed her face off.
Here’s a thought: If you’re going to rob a bank it’s probably not the best idea to f rst give them your ID. Just sayin’. Daniel Rahynes waltzed into Metro Bank and asked to open an account. He then provided two forms of identif cation (pictured) and started the application.
Bless. Then he decided to rob the bank. There’s been so many unbelievably unintelligent criminal stories lately that BBM is having a hard time picking which petty thief is the most brain dead of the lot of them. But this bank robber has got to be pretty high up on the list.
Oh America. The land of the free. Where stupidity is like an art form.
REMEMBER the f lm Double Jeopardy? Ashley Judd was such a fox, running away from Tommy Lee Jones. But she couldn’t be put in jail for committing the same crime! Scandal! Intrigue! Not the best f lm to show in jails! Just ask Lebain Preston, who spent sixteen years in jail for stealing a six-pack of beer in 1992. He went back to a convenience store to commit the same crime last week. He stole a twelve-pack instead. Whoops! He’s been thrown back in jail, charged with two counts of negotiating a worthless instrument. That’s what our girlfriend used to say was wrong with us in bed; negotiating a worthless instrument.
IF there’s one thing BBM hates more than a demonstration, it’s a peaceful demonstration (just f ip the page for our idea of an awesome protest). Pussies. 60 people came out (pun intended) to protest against a f ower shop owner who refused to sell to a same-sex couple because of their religious beliefs. The owner’s beliefs that is, not the couple’s. We’re not sure they have any religious beliefs, they just like that bit about Sodom and Gomorrah. Who doesn’t? Owner Evans (pictured) originally agreed to do the f owers for the couple but then declined, sending an email stating that the company didn’t know it was a same-sex wedding and they would take no part in it. That is, of course, illegal. But, being a f orist, they’re naturally pretty hardcore. When asked for comment, one of the grooms said he was shocked when he received the email, “I’ve never heard of a straight f orist before,” he lisped, “Is nothing sacred?” “Marriage is,” said Jesus, as he bummed another disciple.
30
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
$/.+!20%4 0TY ,TD $ , TRADING AS
#6:*/( 4&--*/( 3&/5*/( (PPE TFMFDUJPO PG $BST 8BHPOT 7BOT $BNQFSWBOT 8% 41&$*"-*454 0WFS WFIJDMFT JO TUPDL XJUI VQ UP #6: #"$, "MM XJUI DBNQJOH HFBS "MM WFIJDMFT GPS TBMF IBWF B (PWFSONFOU BQQSPWFE 3PBEXPSUIZ $FSUJmDBUF 1JOL 4MJQ JTTVFE CZ */%&1&/%&/5 .&$)"/*$4 OPU $PNQBOZ FNQMPZFFT MJLF NPTU DBS EFBMFST '3&& JOGPSNBUJPO XJUI UJQT GPS CVZJOH TFMMJOH BOE USBWFMMJOH 5SBOTGFS 3FHJTUSBUJPO GPSNT GPS BMM 4UBUFT '3&& "EWJDF PO 3FHJTUSBUJPOT 5SBOTGFST XIJDI 4UBUFT BSF DIFBQFTU FBTJFTU UP 5SBOTGFS BOE 3FHJTUFS '3&& .POUIT "VTUSBMJB 8JEF 8BSSBOUZ HVBSBOUFFF XJUI IS SPBETJEF BTTJTUBODF BWBJMBCMF PO NPTU WFIJDMFT DPOEJUJPOT BQQMZ /05 B LN XBSSBOUZ XIJDI HFUT ZPV BCPVU PG ZPVS XBZ BSPVOE "VTUSBMJB
*/463"/$& '3&&$"--
'SPN BOZXIFSF JO "VTUSBMJB 8F TFMM UIF POMZ LOPXO A/P &YDFTT SE 1BSUZ 1SPQFSUZ *OTVSBODF BWBJMBCMF UP USBWFMMFST GSPN 'PS BOE NPOUIT *OTVSBODF BWBJMBCMF FWFO JG ZPV CVZ B DBS GSPN BOPUIFS QMBDF BOE XJUIPVU ZPV IBWJOH UP UFMM MJFT UP HFU JU /08 */ 063 5) :&"3 0' 1655*/( 53"7&--&34 0/ 5)& 30"% $6450.&34 $"/ 5 #& 830/(
#063,& 45 800--00.00-00 /PU DPNJOH UP 4ZEOFZ 5IFO CVZ BOE TFMM POMJOF !
XXX DBSNBSLFU DPN BV
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
31
WORLD NEWS WORTH WEIGHTING FOR WHEN people are fat, it is society’s job to mock them until they feel so awful about themselves that they lose the weight. Right?
tumour in the head,” said Yuncheng. Presumably a tumour wouldn’t f t. Poor kid seems pretty depressed about it too. When asked if he would like to f y like Superman he said, “No. I am too fat.” At least he seems quite grounded for his age.
BBM likes Lu Yuncheng’s approach. His kid, Hao, is a whopper at only three years old and weighing 132 lbs (59kg). That’s about f ve times the average weight for his age.
NOT A TUMOUR!
Reports say that since Hao’s f rst birthday, his parents have been keeping an eagle-eye on his diet. “His appetite is so good that for a meal he can eat three big bowls of rice, even larger than I and his mother,” said Hao’s father Lu Yuncheng. Bowls of rice larger than his parents? Wow. No wonder he’s big. It seems, however, that they have been keeping a keen eye on his health.
Ah well, there’s nothing like the soothing words of your father to make you feel better about yourself.
“He is quite happy that I could ride him to kindergarten instead of walking him there,” said Yuncheng.
And, f nally, Dad f nished with this gem, “In both of our families, there was no such giant person.” Brilliant.
He loses points for staying to watch the blaze, gun in hand, when police arrived at the salon last week. He then admitted to spreading petrol throughout the building and using divorce papers to get the f re going. “We have responded to reports of vandalism to vehicles belonging to friends and relatives of salon owner Jennifer Warner, the man’s estranged wife. She has a restraining order against him,” said the police chief, as he searched for a lighter and his own divorce papers. The man was charged with arson, violation of a protection order and criminal awesomeness.
THE NAKED TRUTH ON the topic of awesomeness, our hat (and everything else) is off to the man in (where else?) America who police caught walking down the street, naked. A concerned woman tried to cover the man’s parts with a towel, but the towel didn’t stay. She clearly just wanted to get a better look.
BEANS, BEANS, THE MAGICAL FRUIT. THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU SHOOT!
A fucked-off Taco Bell customer staged a 3 ½ hour standoff when he cracked the shits after f nding out the price of his burrito had gone up 50 cents.
The kicker? He used his divorce papers to start the blaze. You can’t convict him for such creativity, that’s brilliant!
Okay, he might be fat but riding him seems a little degrading. Should get the heart rate up though so it’s not all bad news.
“We took him to three hospitals and one said he has a tumour in the head, while the other two (pictured) said there is no
IF there’s one thing BBM loves more than a peaceful protest, it’s a good old fashioned violent protest! And if there’s one thing we hate, it’s inf ation. Except where our blow-up dolls are concerned.
BAIL has been set at $200,000 for a 33year-old American accused of starting a f re that burned down his estranged wife’s beauty salon.
opened f re at three police off cers.
The police were called and rocked up to f nd the man walking down the street (pictured), as you do. They asked why he was walking around stark naked, to which he responded with BBM’s quote of the week.
The pendejo then drove off and was later caught outside his hotel room after three hours of negotiations.
“Why are you off cers wearing clothes?”
Allegedly he was still hungry and wandered out in search of a similarly priced Mexican food chain when the cops f nally arrested him.
The police had no other option than to check the naked man into hospital for a mental health assessment.
Brilliant.
“Chinga tu madre!” he yelled.
Winning! The burrito bandit was so enraged he shot an air gun at the store manager, waved a semi-automatic around and then
32
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
SYDNEY WHAT’S ON
Sparkadia TICKETS are in high demand for Sparkadia’s shows across the country, with the f rst Sydney show selling out. Sparkadia will now play a second all ages show on April 2nd. Having appropriately vanished following their 2009 Auf Wiedersehen tour, Sparkadia return to delight with the new single and radio hit Talking Like I’m Falling Down Stairs. Having since returned to London to complete the sophomore opus, Alex Burnett and Sparkadia are excited to release their new album, The Great Impression, available now. When: Friday April 1st and Saturday April 2nd Where: Metro Theatre Cost: 28.70
The Aston Shuffle RAISED in the darkened depths of the DJ booths in Australian clubs, The Aston Shuff e have mastered their own club creations, canvassing some moments of sweaty, f oor-stomping euphoria into the hearts and minds of many. While they may have cut their teeth doing an inf nite amount of late night club sets, DJ’ing isn’t the only performance outlet, graduating from darkened dance f oors to f ood-lit festivals and sea-side amphitheatres, discarding the trolley-bag of records for synthesizers and drum machines in a peerless, sensory altering and visual-heavy production show. When: Saturday, March 26th Where: Oxford Art Factory Cost: From $20
CHARLES ROSS, creator of the worldwide hit One Man Star Wars Trilogy, returns to Australia with his hilarious follow-up, One Man Lord of the Rings. Watch Charles recreate the entire world, characters and complete Frodo’s epic journey - armed with nothing more than some elbow pads and his outrageous imagination. When: March 23 - April 3 Where: Opera House Cost: From $45
No strangers to a playful and boisterous show, Last Dinosaurs have already rallied the crowds at Splendour, Laneway, Falls and Southbound. Papa vs. Pretty had a damn good 2010, and can’t wait to f nally put out a full length album this year. When: Friday, April 1 Where: Oxford Art Factory Cost: $12.00
STRAIGHT out of the shadows of the concrete metropolis is raps most revered super villain, MF Doom.
HOT on the heels of their Big Day Out tour, Dead Letter Circus are pleased to announce a new Australian capital city tour.
The masked lyricist, known to possess a variety of super powers, has single handedly put fear in the eye of many of his peers, and dominated the underground for close to 20 years.
They’re also currently devoting their time to writing new material for their follow up record, so don’t miss your chance to see them live before they head into the studio to track more mind-blowing anthems.
When: Thursday, March 31 Where: Oxford Art Factory Cost: $66.50
34
BRISBANE’S Last Dinosaurs have teamed up with Sydney’s Papa vs. Pretty for a co-headline tour.
When: Saturday, March 26 Where: Metro Theatre Cost: $27
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
MELBOURNE NEWS UNDERCOVER BROTHERS IT seems only fair that after years of the dirty po po posing as everyday thieves in order to bust their criminal activity for a medal, that the thieves would get some payback. Two men decided to pose as undercover police in order to fool a man, searching him for drugs last week. Lucky he was in Melbourne, since BBM was frisked by men dressed as police at Mardi Gras. We don’t think they were looking for drugs. The scammers told the poor twat that they were police and on a drug bust. They added that they needed the man’s ATM pin number to conf rm his identity.
36
Now BBM has been called many things; stupid, naive, banned from McDonalds’ playgrounds, but even we would know that police wouldn’t ask for pin numbers. If that wasn’t bad enough, they drove him to a nearby ATM to withdraw cash, before taking the money and his phone. Forcing him to watch as they withdrew his cash? That’s like making your friend watch as you cheat on his wife. Not cool! Luckily the idiot wasn’t injured, but the undercover thieves got away and haven’t been captured yet.
THE ONLY THING TO BEER IS BEER ITSELF WHEN BBM moved to Australia, our f rst question was simple; “Where do we f nd a lady friend?” About three minutes of heaven later, we had our second question to ask; “Don’t you Aussies drink Fosters?” Well, apparently you don’t. But Fosters have made it back into the news, as owner of VB, complaining that Coles and Woolworths are cutting prices too low. So low, in fact, that Fosters staff visited grog shops across Victoria last week to buy back cases of beer and wine at prices lower than the supermarkets paid for the drink in the f rst place. Reports of staffmembers going missing with cases of beer have been unconf rmed. Does anybody know how to score that job? BBM is an expert at purchasing large quantities of beer. A spokesperson said that “We have withdrawn supply where we have been aware of prices below cost,” as he skulled his 33rd can of the day.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
37
MELBOURNE WHAT’S ON
IT’S been over 25 years since the legendary Uriah Heep have played on Australian soil. Their unique, progressive, hard sound has made them a mainstay of the rock circuit for four decades. Famed for their accomplished musical chops, diverse song writing and powerful live performances, the band has released some of the most popular and def ning music of their genre.
When: Saturday, April 2nd Where: Palais Theatre Cost: From $89.90
DARLING of the Tropical north, Leah Flanagan returns to Melbourne after performing a sell out show for the launch of her album Nirvana Nights. Leah will be joined by Melanie Robinson on Cello. When: Thursday, March 31st Where: Toff In Town Cost: $15 THE John Steel Singers team up with Jonathan Boulet for this double headline show. The bands debut album, Tangalooma, was released in November last year and has produced four hit singles. When: Sunday, 27th March Where: Corner Hotel Cost: $17 MULTI-award winning Irish comedian Tommy Tiernan returns to the Melbourne Comedy Festival after his hugely successful sold out tour of Australia & New Zealand in 2010. When: March 30 - April 1 Where: Melbourne Town Hall Cost: $49.90
MICHAEL PAYNTER’S Love the Fall has spent 32 weeks in Australia’s top 100 played songs. Michael returns to the Corner Hotel to launch his new single Another You. When: Thursday, 31st March Where: Corner Hotel Cost: $18
38
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
PERTH WHAT’S ON
LEADING the way for Aussie rock, Jimmy Barnes has long been a mainstay in the audio waves of the country. Jimmy is undoubtedly a driving force in the progression of Aussie Rock and has inspired millions of fans worldwide.
BROTHER and Sister combo Angus and Julia Stone are ready to take the stage in Red Hill. The combo have produced the smash hit Big Jet Plane in 2010, which won the ARIA Award for the Best Single. When: Saturday, 2nd April Where: Red Hill
When: Saturday, 26th March Where: Elmar’s in the Valley
THE Script have produced a mass of hit singles that have created a growing fan-base. Their hit singles include; We Cry, The Man Who Can’t Be Moved, Breakeven, and For the First Time. Success didn’t come easy for The Script, they clawed their way onto the music scene in the mid 90’s, but it is now apparent that they are here to stay. When: Saturday, 2nd April Where: Challenge Stadium
40
FLY BY NIGHTCLUB 1 Holdsworth Street, Fremantle
ROSIE O’GRADY’S 205 James Street, Northbridge
ROSEMOUNT 459 Fitzgerald Street, North Perth
DURTY NELLY’S 397 Murray Street, Perth
THE NEWPORT HOTEL 2 South Terrace, Fremantle
MURPHY’S IRISH PUB 43 Mandurah Terrace, Perth
ELEPHANT & WHEELBARROW 55 Lake Street, Northbridge
THE SHED 69/71 Aberdeen Street, Northbridge
HOTEL ROTTNEST 1 Bedford Avenue, Rottnest Island
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
QUEENSLAND
WHAT’S ON
Cyndi Lauper ARE you girls in Queensland ready to have fun? That’s right; Cyndi Lauper is making her way to the Sunshine State to perform her stellar collection of chart topping singles from the 80’s and 90’s. Cyndi is world renowned for her ability to make a crowd of people dance and feel good about themselves. When: March 28 and 29th Where: QPAC Concert Hall Cost: From $119
BEYOND The Darkside: the Ultimate Pink Floyd Spectacular is set to stage it’s all new multi-million dollar production A Finger on the Pulse Tour at the Brisbane Exhibition Centre’s Great Hall for one night only. When: Saturday, 26 March Where: Convention and Exhibition Centre Cost: $94.90
RECENTLY, Oh Mercy have been joined on stage by Michael from Yves Klein Blue, had Brian Nankervis read poetry and had Kieran from Kid Sam perform at a tiny secret show - this tour is sure to hold some surprises up it’s sleeve. When: Thursday, 31 March Where: Neverland, Coolangatta When: Friday, 1 April Where: Alhambra, Fortitude Valley
42
Foo Fighters: Charity Gig BBM just loves charity events; there is no better way to give to those affected by a disaster than to go to a concert hosted by an awesome band that sends all proceeds to the victims of a disaster. Join the Foo Fighters on March 27th in their effort to aid those affected by the f ooding that occurred due to torrential downpours in Queensland. When: Sunday, March 27th Where: Riverstage Cost: $99
THE Creole Choir of Cuba is making their way to Tropical North Queensland. The choir sings in Creole, which is a language that was created by the slaves of the West Indies by fusing words together. When: Friday, 1 April Where: Cairns Civic Centre Cost: $65
MIKE BENNETT is a Kiwi who has lived here for the past 20 years. Many people will know Mike as Mad Mike, the warm up act for the Police Academy Stunt Show at Warner Bros Movie World where he worked for 15 years. When: Friday, 1 April Where: Arts Centre, Gold Coast Cost: $18
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
QUEENSLAND
THE DAINTREE REGION BY JAYMES PECKHAM
WHERE can you f nd 30% of Australia’s frog, reptile and marsupial species living in perfect harmony with 18% of our bird species and 65% of our bat and butterf y species? Well if you guessed anything other than the Daintree Rainforest you are completely wrong. The Daintree Rainforest is undoubtedly the last remaining refuge for an excessive number of species that once were plentiful in the region. The Daintree is one of the last places you can spot a Southern Cassowary, or a Bennett’s Tree Kangaroo in their natural habitat.
One wouldn’t expect so much diversity from a place that accounts for just .02% of the country’s landmass. The Daintree is able to boast the atypical distinction of featuring the f ora and fauna of two continents; 15 million years ago the Asian and Australian plates collided with each other and presented the opportunity for two streams of f ora and fauna to mix. The aforementioned characteristics played a huge role in the region being designated as a Wet Tropics World Heritage site by UNESCO (United Nations Educational Scientif c and Cultural Organization). The Daintree is home to the world renowned Daintree Eco Lodge and Spa. The lodge is a small establishment with f fteen rooms available for booking. Worldwide icon Oprah Winfrey sent her audience members to stay a night at the lodge, with one of the audience members saying that “the timelessness of the Daintree Rainforest, capped off with waking up at sunrise to the call of countless tropical birds was truly magical.” If Oprah sent her audience there, it has to be awesome, right? The Spa offers more than a handful of treatment options, all of which have been spiritually approved by the local Aboriginal elders. The Aboriginal culture in the Daintree is as rich as anywhere in Australia. A company such as Mason’s Tours has developed relationships with the local Aboriginal tribes and have been provided with insight on the culture of the native peoples. The Daintree region is just a small part of the tribal land of the Kuku
SAGD12097
(TURN TO PAGE 46)
Phone 4038 1555 www.skyrail.com.au
#! ) 2 .3 s !5342 ! ,) ! 44
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
QUEENSLAND Yalanji tribe. The Kuku Yalanji tribe have a single language which distinguishes them from other tribes, and are also known as the “Rainforest People”, due to their inhabitance of the Daintree Rainforest. If you have the chance, it is a great idea to check out the Kuku Yalanji Dreamtime; here you can f nd some of the f nest Aboriginal art in the area, and be taken on a guided walk by the native people. Great rainforests come hand in hand with great rivers, i.e. Amazon River / Rainforest and the Daintree is no exception, since the Daintree River is one of the most fascinating rivers in the entire world. Taking a cruise up the river into the rainforest is an ideal way to experience a dazzling array of bio-diversity. Other cruises along the River are available and one of the more popular cruises is the Crocodile spotting cruise. While on the cruise not only will you be educated on the marine animals, but the skipper will most likely educate you about the botany of the rainforest and mangroves lining the river. The Daintree River’s mouth is located just 30 kilometres south of Cape Tribulation, the pick-up and drop-off point for the Ocean Safari Reef Tours. Ocean Safari is one of the few companies who owns the rights to go snorkeling and scuba diving on one of Australia’s most pristine reefs; Mackay Reef. The Mackay Reef is no further than a 20 kilometre boat ride east of Cape Tribulation and offers the best snorkeling in the inner reef. The fact that Ocean Safari is one of the only companies with rights to dive in Mackay Reef ensures the minimal human impact on the reef which is eerily becoming more and more apparent. (TURN TO PAGE 48)
MINIMUM 3 NITE STAY
.3 VOT ED NSOT E L BEST HO 2011 INhoOstZelw- orld.com by
UNIQUE, RELAXED, HOMELY, ATMOSPHERE!
FREECALL Ph: 1800 058 440 4 Terminus Streets - Cairns
46
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
.com.au
CAIRNS
7KH 1RUWKHUQ *UHHQKRXVH ª´WV LQWR WKH EXGJHW category with dorm accommodation and a ODLG EDFN YLEH EXW WKLV SODFH LV D FXW DERYH WKH RWKHU EDFNSDFNHUV JRRG SODFH WR PHHW SHRSOH «
- Lonely Planet (our hostel is their TOP PICK!)
w >11 ) w %182 /-@1>5:3 75@/41: w %C5995:3 <;;8 w : 4;A?1 .-> w !:?5@1 8-A:0>E w :@1>@-5:91:@ 01/7 w ";;8 @-.81 w 5> /;:05@5;:10 >;;9? w :?A5@1 5: 1B1>E >;;9 w : 4;A?1 @>-B18 01?7 w %1/A>1 /-> <->75:3
backpacker! Where we stayed, amazing
Having fun in the sun , Great Barrier Re ef.
! +
117 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 FREECALL: 1800 000 541 T +61 (0)7 4047 7200 F +61 (0)7 4041 6822 E northern@friendlygroup.com.au
MON
>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 @>-:?21> @; - 9-35/-88E 45001: >-5:2;>1?@ ?C5995:3 4;81
TUE
>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 @>-:?21> @; @41 81/71> ;@-:5/-8 ->01:?
WED
>11 >1-72-?@ %<1:0 - <1>21/@ 0-E ;: @41 C-@1> ?-585:3 4-881:31 E;A> 9-@1? @; - 3-91 ;2 @1::5? -? @41 ?A: 3;1? 0;C: : @41 1B1:5:3 5@p? 9;B51 :534@
THU
>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 @>-:?21> @; @41 8A1 %7E >1C1>E C41>1 E;A /-: @-71 <->@ 5: - 95/>; .>1C1>E @;A> >11 @>-:?21> @; -.81 )-@1>?75 "->7 2;> -: 1B1:5:3 ;2 C-71.;->05:3
FRI
>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 ;A@5:3 @; 885? 1-/4 C41>1 E;A /-: ?;-7 A< @41 ?A:?45:1 -:0 1:6;E - #
SAT
>11 <-:/-71 .>1-72-?@ +'
SUN
>11 .>1-72-?@ >11 %A:0-E :534@ # 2@1> 05::1> 5@p? 9;B51 :534@
AWARDED â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;BEST BACKPACKER ACCOMMODATIONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
Bragging Rights
QUEENSLAND Having limited human interaction with a reef helps to maintain a beauteous seascape; one of the most picturesque reefs in all of Australia. Adding to the stunning visual array of coral and f sh species is the strong probability that you will spot a sea turtle while diving in Mackay Reef, as six of the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seven sea turtle species inhabit the Great Barrier Reef. Another great thing about Ocean Safari is they strive to make groups small. Everyone knows that with smaller groups it is possible to see more things!
THEBY GOLD COAST JAYMES PECKHAM When in Queensland, another great destination for everyone is the picture perfect Gold Coast. The Gold Coast is an awesome place that can easily accommodate any person and any holiday length. The Gold Coast is home to more attractions than any other city in the Southern Hemisphere; talk about bragging rights! Normally you would associate the Gold Coast with its great night life and huge waves, but it is home to so much more than this.
BROADBEACH Arguably one of the Gold Coastâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most recognizable beaches, Broadbeach offers a wide selection of entertainment for people of all ages. Broadbeach is also the home of the Broadbeach Mall and ever bustling Conrad Jupiter Casino. (TURN TO PAGE 50)
48
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
C A I R N S ’ U LT I M AT E B A C K PA C K E R S H O T E L & R E S O R T !
3
SAVE
*
HUND FREE REDS of $ M $ nigheal every ! t p lus VIP throu PRIC ghou E t ven S u
EVERY
NIGHT!
ionneedd itio Coonnddit Air-c Rooms! Ensuite
ue
.... GOES GREEN!! HELP MAKE GILLIGAN'S GO GREENER! Visit our website and follow the link gilligans.com.au/goesgreen and send us your ideas! What are you waiting for?! You could be a WINNER!!! Full terms & conditions can be viewed on the site. Green initiative, Proudly sponsored by:
• FREE Evening Meal • FREE Linen • FREE Parking • FREE Gymnasium • FREE Tour Advice • FREE Internet (1hr per guest*)
• FREE Airport pickup • Air-conditioned rooms • Ensuites in EVERY room type • Massive lagoon swimming pool • Great Central City Location! • VIP Discounts for Inhouse Guests throughout the Venue
57 – 89 Grafton Street, Cairns 4870
*Conditions apply: 3 night cap. Excludes Budget 8's & 10 share dorms - valid to 31/10/11
$
OFF
QUEENSLAND One of the best things about Broadbeach is that Surfers Paradise serves as the main tourist attraction in the area, so Broadbeach is often a much more laidback and relaxing option. Don’t forget that on the f rst and third Sunday of each month, it is home to the Craft Markets!
SURFERS PARADISE The name is utterly self explanatory. Surfers Paradise is not only a surfers paradise, but in my opinion, everyone’s paradise. Colloquially known as Surfers, the paradise is home to one of the coolest and def nitely most unique museums in Australia; Ripley’s Museum. Surfers offers some of the best dining in all of Queensland as anyone’s pallet can be pleased. When in Surfers, keep in mind that the city is broken up into essentially 5 districts; Northside, West Quay, Southside, Central and the Esplanade.
These districts are described as; Northside: where we aspire, West Quay: where we relax, Central: where we play, Esplanade: where we wander, and Southside: where we began, so make sure you keep the abovestated in mind when you plan your trip out to Surfers.
MAIN BEACH Main Beach is often host to a myriad of spectacular cultural and sporting events, such as the fast approaching Wakeboarding Competition or the Marina Mirage Farmers Market. If you are a fan of action sports, heading out to Main Beach for the Australian Wakeboard Nationals is
BOOK WITH US DIRECT, MENTION THIS AD AND
SAVE
$2 PER NIGHT
g machine
EE Washin FREE WiFi - FR
kers.com.au c a p k c a b e is sparad www.surfer affected ise NOT flood
Surfers Parad
50
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE!! BRISBANE IS OPENING IT’S ARMS TO YOU GUYS!!
BRISN
EYLA
IS AL
DRIE
L
ND
D OU
T…
WE ARE BACK TO DISHING OUT ITIES GREAT ACTIV IN THIS (NOW) ED SUN-DRENCH LAND
woe! Got to get to Brissie!! $3 OFF 1st Ton H IG N ti ta ith presen W
of this ad
QUEENSLAND’S BEST BACKPACKERS QLD’S #1 HOSTEL
www.bunkbrisbane.com.au
1800 682 865 or +61 7 3257 3644
QUEENSLAND an absolute must. Main Beach will be hosting the event on the 17th of April, competition will run through the 20th so be sure not to miss this unique opportunity. For those who do not know, wakeboarding is the action sport that involves a wakeboard and a motor boat. The wakeboarder is pulled by a motor boat at speeds of up to 39 kilometres per hour all the while pulling off insane tricks, its kind of like skateboarding in the water but being pulled by a boat.
ZORBING Imagine being strapped into a huge transparent plastic ball, rolling down a hill at speeds of up to 35 kilometres per hour! If this sounds like something you would be interested, make sure you take a trip to Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sole zorbing site - Oz Ball!
Oz Ball is a fun day for the whole family as you are never too old to get into a zorb. Imagine being on a never ending waterslide, everyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dream, well this is the feeling you get when you hydrozorb. During a Hydro-Zorb you can still travel at speeds of up to 35 kilometres per hour while the water is splashing around you and helping your never-ending waterslide experience continue. In my opinion, Zorbing is one of the most exciting things available on the Gold Coast! So now that you know the Gold Coast is not just about the nightlife and huge waves, what are you waiting for? Get up, and go book a trip to this wonderful destination.
) XkYai e\\ oekh 'ij d_]^j Cdi id WZ jhZY ^c Xdc_jcXi^dc l^i] Vcn di]Zg d[[Zg
;G::86AA ID 7DD@
'.&& ** ,, *, mmm$j_dX_bbo$Yec
@e_d ekh \WY[Xeea \WdfW][ mmm$\WY[Xeea$Yec%j_dX_bboi 52
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
OCEANS Y OUTH & E CO ADVEN T U RE H
OSTELS
FERNTREE Hostel
Cape Tribulation Cross over the river into the Daintree Rainforest and stay in the heart of Cape Tribulation. Stroll the white sands of Myall Beach and observe the beauty of the surrounding rainforest. Hop-skip-and- jump to the PK’S Jungle Bar (and a short stumble back for a good nights rest). Quad share dorms and private share accommodation. All hostel cabins are air-conditioned with ensuite bathroom and shower.
access to Ferntree Rainforest Hostel guests have full the Ferntree Rainforest Lodge facilities THE OYEAH! FACTORS:
ËTwo swimming pools ËMini-Fridge in all rooms ËBBQ Facilities
ËVolleyball Court ËTV Lounge ËTour Booking Service
ËClose to food store & pharmacy ËShort walk to PK’s Jungle Bar ËCassowary Cafe open for breakfast, lunch & dinner
DORM BEDS FROM
$27
per person
max 4 ppl
PRIVATE ROOM FROM
$75
twin share
max 2 ppl FERNTREE RAINFOREST HOSTEL
Free Call:
1800 987 077 (Calls within Australia)
Cairns
.COM.AU
Townsville
OCEANS Y OUTH & E CO ADVEN T U RE H
OSTELS
SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES
Discover the Real Reef What better way to explore the Great Barrier Reef than with Cairns leading reef tour specialists. Every day our fast, modern, air-conditioned catamarans depart Cairns at the sleep-in-friendly hour of 10am for our spacious outer reef activity platforms.
$130 per person 4 hours of reef fun!
Shortest travel time…longest play time! THE OYEAH! FACTORS: ËTravel to the reef on board our air-conditioned Catamaran ËDelicious chef-prepared buffet luncheon featuring ËSnorkelling equipment provided fresh seafood, hot dishes, salads & fruit ËInformative presentation hosted by our marine naturalist ËGuided coral viewing from our semi-submersible ËOn-board touch tank to experience marine life up close* craft and glass-bottom boat
INTRODUCTORY SCUBA DIVE
$125 FROM
per person
CERTIFIED SCUBA DIVE FROM
$80 per person
SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES
Free Call:
1800 810 512 (Calls within Australia)
Cairns
.COM.AU
Townsville
SOUTH AUSTRALIA KANGAROO VALLEY KANGAROO Island is Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s third largest island, beaten only by Tasmania and Melville Island. With 13 kilometres separating it from Cape Jervis, on the top of the Fleurieu Peninsula, Kangaroo Island is a haven for those wishing for a taste of unaffected Australia. Though Kangaroo Island was technically discovered in 1802 by British explorer Matthew Flinders, Commanding HMS Off cer, stone tools discovered on the island suggest that the Aboriginal people occupied the land around 11,000 years ago, and there is an equal amount of evidence to show that they abandoned the land mass a long time before the British claimed it. Unsurprisingly, given its name, Kangaroo Island is a haven for wildlife, not just the aforementioned kangaroo. Though the island was named after the animal Flinders f rst feasted upon, as Kangaroo Island Adventure Tours will show you on their much acclaimed two day guided tour, there is an abundance of Australian wildlife which
you can feast your eyes upon. While their extremely cute kangaroo Ruby will no doubt be the easiest to f nd once you arrive at your accommodation, along the way you will be treated to sightings of emus, koalas, wallabies, sea lions â&#x20AC;&#x201C; heck, you even get to witness a sheep shearing session... Though Kangaroo Island provides the perfect opportunity to get up close and personal with some of Australiaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favourite friends, those of you are seeking a bit more of an adrenaline rush will equally leave fulf lled. With Kangaroo Island home to the aptly named Little Sahara, there is no escaping the adrenaline rush that is sandboarding. For those unfamiliar with the sport, just think snowboarding but on sand! Though the sandboarding is the only sport that forms part of the off cial tour, with the newly renovated Vivonne Bay Eco Adventures
2 DAYS OF FUN & ADVENTURE
$399 * PER ADULT DEPARTING ADELAIDE
Includes: !
" # # $ " % " & ' ( & ( ' ) ( + + *
kiadventuretours.com.au | call 08 8202 8678 , -+)-) .+ " # / ) 0 ) 11# 23.2 #"0 24 ..5 + -25)
56
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
situated just around the corner from the accommodation, there is more than enough fodder for those adrenaline junkies with biking, kayaking, boogie boarding, bushwalking and, of course, surf ng on offer.. Although animals and adventure are more than enough to f ll two days on the island, there would be little worth in visiting Kangaroo Island without taking the time to see some of their most revered sites. Make sure your camera is ready for clever posing when it comes to the Remarkable Rocks, equally impressive are the Flinders Chase National Park and the Admiralâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Arch. Kangaroo Island is a photographerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s dream. With a new photo opportunity at each twist and turn, be sure to come prepared to be left in awe and wishing for more as the all to brief two day trip f ies by before your eyes.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
57
SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE
THE MUSIC SCENE WHILE Jimmy Barnes may have called Adelaide his childhood home, he is far from alone in that accolade. Though often overlooked, Adelaide’s art scene is more than thriving, so it is little surprise to hear that it has also spawned its fair share of international superstars. While Sia and Bon Scott may have found their feet in Adelaide, the likes of Ben Folds based himself in the slightly off the beaten track capital of South Australia. Perhaps it is the large country feel that causes Adelaide to be an encouraging atmosphere for local talent, but that is not to say that Adelaide is not also open to outsiders. With a whole range of venues, Adelaide proves with WOMAdelaide that the city has more than a little global pull. With the festival making the most of Adelaide’s versatile spaces, it is clear that Adelaide can cater to acts big and small. Australia, as a whole, loves to support their own and Adelaide comes alive most nights of the week with small bands gigging in the hope of their next gig being the one that sees them taken to the next level.
58
With a real focus on the independent artist, Adelaide is a breeding ground for talents in all genres and everywhere from church halls to pubs and clubs open their doors willingly to help the hopefuls in their quest. While The Gov leads the way in supporting local talent, it also opens its doors to the international performers who prefer something a little more intimate. With Jimmy Eat World, Eric Bibb, Washington and Boy & Bear all pencilled over the next couple of months, The Gov is exemplary of what Adelaide has to offer. However, for those with a craving for a big stadium show, worry not, as Adelaide has facilities equal to the rest of Australia’s big cities. Forget not that the Adelaide Entertainment Centre has recently played host to pop queen Rihanna and will shortly be welcoming Bob Dylan, Barry Manilow, Katy Perry and, wait for it, Justin Bieber through their doors!
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
FEATURE TAX
HOW TO GET MONEY FAST? Claim tax back when leaving your home country. One of the simplest methods of getting some quick and easy cash together upon arrival in Oz is to get your taxback from your home country. Working holiday makers who have come from the UK or Ireland will almost certainly be due some tax back if they were working and paying tax back home.l new is the time to get some of that money back and pay for your antics and travels down under.
When can I claim my tax back?
Today. As soon as you stop working you can claim any tax rebate that you might be due so now is the time.
Can I still claim a tax rebate if I do not have a P45?P60?
We know it’s easy to loose documents in your travels and when you waving goodbye to your friends, doing a tax refund was on the bottom of the ‘to do’ list. You have two options; contact your old employer or the home country tax off ce to retrieve your documents or alternatively hand your details over to a third party tax agent to get it sorted on your behalf.
Frequently Asked Backpacker Questions:
How much money will I get back?
• Who is due a tax refund when leaving their home country?
Don’t miss out on money you’re owed. File your tax return. For more info and a free tax back estimation, freephone
Almost anyone who has worked in the UK or Ireland, paid income tax and then leaves for an extended period of time will be able to apply for a tax rebate when leaving the country.
The average Irish tax refund for a backpacker is 840 for PAYE. The average UK tax refund for a backpacker is £963.
1800 674 014. Article written by
Meabh Ni Riain taxback.com
60
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
61
Healthy Volunteers Wanted
Fit
A non smoker If you are:
18-50 years
Healthy
And interested in helping with medical research
Please Call us
1800 475 475 OR Email: volunteers.4.trials@gsk.com Reimbursement for time & expenses will be available (limitations may apply to reimbursement) GlaxoSmithKline Medicines Research Unit Prince of Wales Hospital, Parkes Building Level 10 East Hight Street Randwick, NSW, 2031 Our clinical trials are approved by the SESI窶年orthern Network Research Ethics Committee: Reference No. 03/251
JLU200301 Print 32 version 1, 09 October, 2008
ATTENTION ELECTRICIANS PIPE LAYERS CARPENTERS PAINTERS
EXCAVATOR OPERATORS LABOURERS PLASTERERS PLUMBERS
REQUIRED URGENTLY REGISTER ON
WWW.ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU OR EMAIL
ADMIN@ADVANCEDLABOURHIRE.COM.AU FOR FURTHER INFO CALL 1300 299 818 JOIN ADVANCED LABOUR HIRE ON FACEBOOK FOR JOB UPDATES.
:$17 72 ),1' $ -2%" Â&#x;OĂ?OÂ&#x;AĂ&#x192;cÂł Ă?Â&#x2013;lÂ&#x2013;OlĂ&#x192;Ă?Â&#x;yĂ?Ă?Â&#x2C6;lĂ? -" `Ă? Ă&#x2DC;Ă&#x2020;Ă?Ă&#x192;AÂ&#x2019;Â&#x2039;AÂ&#x203A;Ă? Â&#x;Â&#x203A;Ă?Ă&#x192;AYĂ?Ă?-Ă&#x192;Â&#x;ylĂ&#x2020;Ă&#x2020;Â&#x2039;Â&#x;Â&#x203A;AÂ&#x2019;Ă?"AÂ&#x203A;AÂ&#x20AC;lÂ&#x2013;lÂ&#x203A;Ă?Ă? Ă&#x2020;Ă&#x2020;Â&#x;YÂ&#x2039;AĂ?Â&#x2039;Â&#x;Â&#x203A;
To apply for these roles please e-mail your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au
Sydney Jobs
Apply to tc@freespirit.com.au
9LVLW XV DW /HYHO 3LWW 6WUHHW 6\GQH\
MEDIA SALES CONSULTANT $22 PER HOUR (6 MONTH ROLES)
CLAIMS $22 PER HOUR (3 MONTH ROLES)
Our client is a newly established on-line media agency seeking a number of experienced outbound call consultants to join their small but busy North Sydney media team.
Leading Australian Insurance company requires reliable travelers for contract role;
You will possess; â&#x20AC;˘ Excellent communication skills â&#x20AC;˘ Highly motivated individual â&#x20AC;˘ Strong customer service skills â&#x20AC;˘ Friendly personality This is a great role calling an existing client base. Full training provided.
â&#x20AC;˘ Must have Insurance Claims experience, Home & Content preferred â&#x20AC;˘ Strong Microsoft Office and communication skills â&#x20AC;˘ CBD location â&#x20AC;˘ Young and friendly team, nice offices â&#x20AC;˘ $22 plus super â&#x20AC;˘ Start now for 3 months with a view to extend to 6 months
TELESALES CONSULTANTS $21 PER HOUR
ACCOUNTS PAYABLE/RECEIVABLE $24-$26 PER HOUR
Our Client is seeking experienced Telesales Consultantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s with the following criteria:
Do you have accounts payable/receivable experience?? We have clients in the city seeking candidates for immediate start.
â&#x20AC;˘ Minimum of 6 months call centre experience â&#x20AC;˘ English fluency â&#x20AC;˘ Travellers with more than 3 months visa validity â&#x20AC;˘ Strong experience with an aggressive sales attitude â&#x20AC;˘ Strong customer service skills â&#x20AC;˘ Financial Services Background would be a Bonus
The ideal candidate will; â&#x20AC;˘ Thrive in a busy environment â&#x20AC;˘ High attention to detail â&#x20AC;˘ At least 2 years experience â&#x20AC;˘ Ability to prioritize workload Assignments are up to 6 months paying $24-$26 an hour. To apply for these roles please email your CV to tc@freespirit.com.au
Already have a job and want more money? Call 1300 freespirit to ask us about LAFHA.
)RU PRUH MREV FDOO IUHHVSLULW RU YLVLW ZZZ IUHHVSLULW FRP DX
JOB LISTINGS AUSTRALIA DO YOU WANT TO WRITE about traveling around the Australians West Coast? This is a great opportunity to get your name in to print. This not a paid job, but other benefi ts are available like free activities or accommodation as you travel. Well established magazine now ten years old. Please apply to: guchi.shakir@what-media. com
MELBOURNE PROMOTIONAL STAFF. call centre work available to promote electricity and gas. simple work and great money. full time training provided - no experience needed. melbourne work only. call Jerry on 03 9867 6322 FLAUNT IT! We are the leading producers of creative nude photography, and are looking for amateur models 18 + to smash the stereotypes. Earn 500+ cash on your own terms. Fun, safe women run company. Call Rebecca 03 9495 6555
SYDNEY
Call Centre - Travellers Wanted! Our Client is seeking travellers with fantastic customer service and sale skills for a 6-8 temp assignment. Your role will be generating leads on behalf of a well established global client through warm and cold calling. Paying $22 Plus Super If you think you are right for the role then please send your detailed resume to tc@freespirit.com.au CLAIMS OFFICER Our Client is seeking an experienced Claims Offi cer with the following criteria: Minimum of 1 year work experience, Experience in Motor or home insurance claims, English fl uency, Travellers with more than 6 months visa validity, Not on Student Visa. If you believe you are suitable for this role please email your resume to: tc@freespirit.com.au
INDUSTRIOUS RECRUITMENT
is currently looking for casual staff with experience in: Warehousing, Labouring, Stores, Process Work, Green card and safety boots are an advantage – however not essential! Various assignments, short & long term! Email sarah@ industriousrecruitment.com.au or contact Sarah @ (02) 9270 5257
DATA ENTRY OFFICER – TRAVELLERS WELCOME!! Our Client is seeking an experienced Data Entry Offi cer with the following criteria: Minimum of 1 year work experience. English fl uency. Travellers with more than 3 months visa validity. Not on Student Visa. If you believe you are the right candidate for this role please forward your resume through to mailto:tc@freespirit.com.au
SCAFFOLDER REQUIRED, TOP $$$!! Must have: • UK or Irish Scaff Ticket • Own Tools • Current Working Visa • Green Card Please phone 0406 648 012 for more info. TELEMARKETERS
– SMILE WHILE YOU DIAL! Working Holidaymakers needed for our EASTERN SUBURBS OFFICE. Must be enthusiastic, confi dent, well spoken and able to follow instructions. No experience necessary - Full training given. Base + Commission + Bonus Paid Weekly. Call Steve Now on 1300 657 362
SALES EXECUTIVE DO WANT TO SETTLE DOWN IN AUSTRALIA? DO YOU LOVE SELLING? • Generous package • An opportunity to become an Australian permanent resident and eventually a citizen! • Fantastic full-time sales role with growth potential • Both face-to-face & call centre positions! • Complete training available • Assistance with your visa We are a privately owned media company experiencing growth year on year. We require LOUD, FUN & SMART individuals to join our young & dynamic team to work out of our West Sydney and Inner West Sydney offi ces As Sales Executive you will be selling to medium sized local businesses and organisations, gradually building strong relationships with your portfolio of clients. We want to see your great selling skills and your original ideas and marketing solutions. If you have a professional attitude and presentation, then email your resume and a cover letter to
resumes@internode.on.net 68
BBM-601 // JOB LISTINGS
ADULT EMPLOYMENT
KINGS COURT MASSAGE is the best place to learn adult massage. Kings is well organised with tight guidelines (no sex) and the other girls are friendly to work with. You will gain confidence as you learn adult massage and the style of the place makes you look good. You just need to be the girl-next-door. We have an understanding boss and the clients are younger and more polite than other places. Enjoy cash money on a casual basis paid daily from the beginning. Have a look at the web site. It is safe to scan in a cafĂŠ (no porn.) There is a map to guide you to us. Drop in for a chat and we will have one of our ladies show you around. We are along from central railway near the university precinct. Catch a bus to Victoria Park bus stop then look across the road.
Behind each successful woman is-HERSELF!!! Training provided Discreet, Paid daily Flexible hours Foxtel and internet access for staff Friendly Female management Located in the heart of Sydney Earn $150+ per hour
NO SEX
www.sirs.com.au 80 ERSKINE ST. SYDNEY CBD
Female Masseurs Required $115 p/hr Full Training Provided Immediate Start Flexible Shifts Fun & Friendly Girls Team
92997771 (02) 96990055 NIRVANA 400 Cleveland St, Surry Hills www.nirvanasydney.com.au
261 Parramatta Rd Broadway 02 9660 0666 www.kingscourt.com.au
BBM-601 // JOB LISTINGS
GOOD GIRLS GO TO HEAVEN!! BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE!! Female Masseurs required $115 p/hr Full training provided Immediate Start Flexible shifts Fun & friendly girls team
(02) 9357 6145 AT MICHELLES
135 Bayswater Rd Rushcutters Bay www.atmichelles.com
69
JOB LISTINGS
-BEJFT SFR (VBSBOUFFE #VTJFTU E E #FTU 3BUF JO 4ZEOFZ 63(&/5 &"3/ , 1&3 4)*'5 1"*% %"*-: /P FYQFSJFODF SFRVJSFE GVMM USBJOJOH BOE GSFF BDDPNNPEBUJPO ,JOH 4U /FXUPXO 4U 1FUFST XXX BNPSF DPN BV
TO ADVERTISE CALL
ON (02) 8231 7701
#0%:-*/& .FMCPVSOF 1$" 1$"
:&4 8& /&&% :06 #VTZ )JHI $MBTT BOE 8FMM FTUBCMJTIFE DFOUSF +VTU %SPQ JO BOE HFU TUBSUFE $BMM
70
BBM-601 // JOB LISTINGS
ACCOMMODATION SYDNEY
MELBOURNE Looking for excellent accommodation at the best location in Sydney. The Porterhouse have dorms in the heart of the city. Dorm beds single $40 per night or $180 per week, double rooms $80 per night OR $320 per week. Call 02 9211 4454 for details
Potts Point â&#x20AC;&#x201C; CLOSE TO CITY. Large Studio in garden complex. Close to Kings Cross station. Suitable for a couple. Fully furnished and equipped with everything you need including TV, linen, crockery, microwave etc. $375pw. Call 0425286445
DARLINGHURST BUDGET. NEWLY RE-FURBISHED SHARE ACCOMMODATION - Rear of 433 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst. Corner of West Street. Central location, close to all amenities yet quiet. $160 P/P P/W + $200 Bond. All bills + WIRELESS INTERNET included. Fully furnished rooms in share house. 7 rooms - 2, 3 or 4 person share. Laundry, Kitchen, lounge/TV room. For appointment to view call Louise between 9am-7pm on 0402 034 119.
FULLY FURNISHED MODERN APARTMENTS TRENDY ACLAND STREET ST. KILDA
Suit singles, couples, 2/4 share. Rooms, Studios, Units. Short to medium term rentals. From $200 to $450 per week. Share from $100 pp weekly. All-inclusive. Well-equipped. Large courtyard, BBQ, security. Close to trams, shops, beach, tourist spots, Luna Park.
Call Sunday to Friday 0425 803 276 or 0425 790 566
TO ADVERTISE CALL
ON (02) 8231 7701
BBM-601 // ACCOMMODATION
71
ACCOMMODATION GUIDE NEW SOUTH WALES SYDNEY
SYDNEY BACKPACKERS 7 Wilmot St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 02 9267 7772 1800 88 77 66 (Free Call) Fax: 02 9266 0017 www.sydneybackpackers.com CLOVELLY HOTEL 381 Clovelly Road Clovelly office@clovellyhotel.com.au Reservation numbers: (02) 9665 1214 www.clovellyhotel.com.au CRITERION HOTEL 260 Pitt Street Sydney (crn Pitt & Park Streets) Ph: (02) 9264 3093 manager@criterionhotel.net.au www.criterionhotel.net.au WESTEND BACKPACKERS 412 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW, 2000 Freecall: 1800 013 186 Phone: 02 9211 4588 bookings@westendbackpackers.com www.westendbackpackers.com See the CHURCH - Australia’s largest dorm!
JOLLY SWAGMAN BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 27 Orwell Street Kings Cross, NSW 2011 FREE: 1800 805 870 Ph: 93586400 skype: jolly.swagman.backpackers stay@jollyswagman.com.au www.jollyswagman.com.au BONDI BACKPACKERS 110 Campbell Parade Bondi Beach NSW 2026 Ph: (02) 9130 4660 1800 304 660 bookings@bondibackpackers.com.au www.bondibackpackers.com.au THE GLOBE BACKPACKERS 40 Darlingurst Road Kings Cross, Sydney NSW 2011 FREECALL: 1800 806 384 Ph/Fax: (02) 9326 9675 info@globebackpackers.com www.globebackpackers.com CITY RESORT HOSTEL 103-105 Palmer St, Woolloomooloo NSW 2011 Ph: (02) 9357 3333 bookings@cityresort.com.au Skype: City Resort Hostel www.cityresort.com.au Show this ad for $5 off! (Valid for new guests only. Min. 3 nights stay.)
THE GEORGE STREET HOTEL 700A George Street Sydney NSW 2000 Tel: 02 9211 1800 Fax: 02 9212 2884 Freecall: 1800 679 606 (Within Australia) booking@thegeorge.com.au www.thegeorge.com.au BOUNCE SYDNEY 28 Chalmers Street, Sydney 2010 Free call 1800890897 Ph +61 2 9281 2222 book@bouncehotel.com.au www.bouncehotel.com.au STRAND HOTEL 99 William St Darlinghurst, Sydney 2010 Ph: 02 93606910 www.strandhotel.com.au www.strandedinsydney.com.au LORD WOLSELEY HOTEL 265 Bulwara Rd Ultimo, Sydney 2007 Ph: 02 96001736 www.lordwolseleyhotel.com.au MAZE BACKPACKERS 417 Pitt St Sydney NSW 2000 Ph: 1800 813 522 www.mazebackpackers.com
72
PORTERHOUSE HOTEL 233 Riley St Surry Hills NSW 2010 Ph: (02) 92114454 www.Porterhouse.com.au info@porterhouse.com.au
Single and double & Dorm rooms available Max 4 bed dorms.
BIG HOSTEL 212 Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills Sydney NSW 2010 Ph: 1800 212 244 02 92816030 Fax: 02-9281-6031 www.bighostel.com reception@bighostel.com HAPPY CHAPPY TRAVELLERS INN 64 Foveaux St, Surry Hills Ph: 02 9211 4945 Fax: 02 9212 6662 www.excelsiorhotel.com info@excelsiorhotel.com.au
SYDNEY CENTRAL HOSTEL
428 Pitt Street Sydney 2000 (02) 9211 7323 Open Daily 8am-11pm www.sydneycentralhostel.com.au
THE ROYAL HOTEL
370 Abercrombie St, Darlington, NSW, 2008 Ph: 02 9698 8557 info@royal.com.au www.royal.com.au
SYDNEY NORTHERN BEACHES SYDNEY BEACHOUSE - YHA 4 Collaroy St, Collaroy, 2097 Ph: +61 2 9981 1177 Fax: -61 2 9981 1114 www.sydneybeachouse.com.au Guaranteed jobs/work all year. Cheap weekly rates by the beach with free Surfboard, Bodyboard & Bike hire
SYDNEYS SOUTHERN BEACHES CRONULLA BEACH YHA 40 - 42 Kingsway, Cronulla Sydney, 2230 Ph: 02 9527 7772 enquiries@cronullabeachyha.com www.cronullabeachyha.com www.yha.com.au
PORT STEPHENS
MELALEUCA SURFSIDE BACKPACKERS 2 Koala Place, One Mile Beach, NSW 2316 Ph/fax: (61) 2 4981 9422 Mobile: 0427 200 950 www.melaleucabackpackers.com.au melaleucabackpacker@bigpond.com
NEWCASTLE
BACKPACKERS NEWCASTLE 42 & 44 Denison St, Newcastle, NSW, 2303 Freecall: 1800 - 33 34 36 (NSW) Ph: 02 4969 3436 info@backpackersnewcastle.com.au
HUNTER VALLEY HUNTER VALLEY YHA 100 Wine Country Drive Nulkaba, Hunter Valley Ph: 02 4991 3278 huntervalley@yhansw.org.au www.yha.com.au
KATOOMBA
KATOOMBA MOUNTAIN BACKPACKERS LODGE 31 Lurline st Katoomba Ph: 4782 3933 www.katoombabackpackers.com.au/ stay@katoombabackpackers.com.au SPECIAL WINTER DEAL, STAY 2 NIGHTS GET THE 3RD NIGHT FREE!!!!!!
BYRON BAY
AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 16 Lawson Street Byron Bay NSW 2481 T/F Ph: 1800 028 909 Ph; (02) 6685-7663 Fax: (02) 6685-7439 info@aquarius-backpackers.com.au www.aquarius-backpackers.com.au NOMADS BYRON BAY 1 Lawson Lane Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Freecall: 1800 766 673 Phone: 02 6680 7966 bookings@nomadsbyronbay.com nomadshostels.com Newest backpackers in town – not to be missed!
ARTS FACTORY LODGE 1 Skinners Shoot Road Byron Bay, NSW 2481 Ph: 02 6685 7709 info@artsfactory.com.au www.artsfactory.com.au An essential part of your journey
NAMBUCCA HEADS
NAMBUCCA BACKPACKERS Nambucca Backpackers, 2 Pacific Highway, Nambucca Heads, NSW 2448 Ph: (02) 6568-6360 www.nambuccabackpackers.com.au
LAKE TABOURIE
LAKE TABOURIE TOURIST PARK Princes Hwy, Lake Tabourie, NSW 2539 Free call: 1300 559 966 tabourie@shoalhaven.nsw.gov.au www.holidayhaven.com.au/tabourie
QUEENSLAND BRISBANE
TINBILLY TRAVELLERS 466 George St Brisbane City, Qld 4000 www.tinbilly.com Ph: +61 7 3238 5888 Free Call 1800 44 66 46 Free Tinbilly Limited Edition T-shirt With presentation of this BBM Ad THE DECK 117 Harcourt St New Farm Brisbane 0433777061 the_deck@live.com.au Designed with the working Traveler in Mind Minimum 2 week stay BASE QLD BACKPACKERS 308 Edward st Brisbane qld 4000 palace@stayatbase.com www.stayatbase.com Ph: 0732112433 BUNK 11-21 Gipps St Fortitude Valley, Qld, 4006 info@bunkbrisbane.com.au www.bunkbrisbane.com.au Ph: +61 7 3257 3644 Free Call: 1800 682 865
GOLDCOAST AQUARIUS BACKPACKERS 44 Queen Street Gold Coast, Queensland Ph: 07 5527 1300 Freecall 1800 229 955 info@aquariusbackpackers.com.au www.aquariusbackpackers.com.au BACKPACKERS IN PARADISE 40 Peninsular Drive Central Surfers Paradise Queensland, 4217 Ph: 1800 268 621 info@backpackersinparadise.com www.backpackersinparadise.com
ISLANDER BACKPACKERS RESORT 6 Beach Road, Surfers Paradise (next to the bus transit centre) Ph: 1800 074 393 www.islander.com.au res@islander.com.au SLEEPING INN SURFERS 26 Peninsular Drive Surfers Paradise 4217, QLD Ph: 07 5592 4455 Fax: 07-5592-5266 www.sleepinginn.com.au info@sleepinginn.com.au GET EXCITED ABOUT WHERE YOU SLEEP! COOLANGATTA SANDS HOSTEL Cnr Griffith & McLean Streets, Coolangatta 4225 Ph: 07 5536 7472 hostel@taphouse.com.au www.taphouse.com.au SURFERS PARADISE BACKPACKERS RESORT 2837 Gold Coast Highway Queensland 4217 Ph: 07 5592 4677 Freecall - 1800 282 800
www.surfersparadisebackpackers.com.au
spbr@bigpond.net.au
NOOSA
NOMADS NOOSA 44 Noosa Drive Noosa Heads, QLD 4567 Phone: 07 5447 3355 bookings@nomadsnoosa.com
HERVEY BAY
NOMADS HERVEY 408 The Esplanade Torquay, Hervey Bay, QLD 4655 Phone: 07 4125 3601 bookings@nomadshervey.com
TOWN OF 1770 (Between Bunderberg & Rockhampton)
COOL BANANAS 2 Spring Road, 1770 Queensland, 4677 Ph: 1800 227 660 www.coolbananas.net.au 1770 SOUTHERN CROSS (BACKPACKERS) 2694 round hill rd, agnes water, 4677 Ph: 0749747225 info@1770southerncross.com www.1770southerncross.com 1770 BEACHSIDE BACKPACKERS 12 Captain Cook Drive PO Box 212, Agnes Water Queensland 4677 Australia Ph: 07 4974 7200 www.1770beachsidebackpacker.com.au
CAIRNS NOMADS CAIRNS 341 Lake Street Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 737 736 bookings@nomadscairns.com nomadshostels.com Stay 4 nights, pay only 3! Or $5 off 1st night with this ad. NOMADS ESPLANADE 93 The Esplanade Cairns, QLD 4870 Freecall: 1800 175 716 Ph: 07 4031 7477 bookings@nomadsesplanade.com nomadshostels.com Free Breakfast, Free Dinner, and 15 minutes Internet Free
GILLIGANS BACKPACKERS HOTEL & RESORT 57-59 Grafton Street, Cairns, QLD Free phone: 1800 556 995 www.gilligans.com.au
DREAMTIME TRAVELLERS REST 4 Terminus Street (corner of Bunda st.& Terminus st.) Cairns 4870 Queensland Ph:0740316753 info@dreamtimehostel.com www.dreamtimehostel.com GLOBETROTTERS INTERNATIONAL 154-156 Lake st Cairns City 1800 22 55 87 info@globetrottersinternational.com.au www.globetrottersinternational.com.au A GREAT NIGHT SLEEP GUARANTEED NOMADS CAIRNS BEACH HOUSE 239 Sheridan Street, Cairns, QLD 4870 Tel: 1800 229 228 or (07) 4041 0431 bookings@nomadsbeachhouse.com www.nomadsworldhotels.com Dorm from just $12 THE NORTHERN GREENHOUSE 117 Grafton Street Cairns QLD 4000 Ph: 1800 000 541 northern@friendlygroup.com.au www.northerngreenhouse.com.au JJ’S BACKPACKERS 11-13 Charles Street Cairns QLD 4870 Bookings - 1800 666 336 Reception - (07) 4051 7642 Fax - (07) 4051 7223 www.jjsbackpackers.com jjsbackpackers@ledanet.com.au
MISSION BEACH
ABSOLUTE BACKPACKERS MISSION BEACH
28 Wongaling Beach Road Mission Beach Queensland 4852 Freecall: 1800 688 316 info@absolutebackpackers.com.au www.absolutebackpackers.com.au SCOTTY’S BEACH HOUSE 167 Reid Road, Mission Beach Queensland, 4852 Ph: 07 4068 8676 Fax: 07 4068 8520 info@scottysbeachhouse.com.au www.scottysbeachhouse.com.au
CAPE TRIBULATION PK’S JUNGLE VILLAGE Lot 11 Cape Tribulation Road, Cape Tribulation QLD 4873 Tel: 07 4098 0040 info@pksjunglevillage.com www.pksjunglevillage.com
WHITSUNDAYS
BAREFOOT LODGE Whitsunday Passage Whitsundays, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 075 125 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 9400 Availability and Rates: barefootlodge.bookconfirm.com longisland@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
AIRLIE BEACH
MAGNUMS/WHITSUNDAY VILLAGE TRAVEL 366 Shute Harbour Rd 4802 Airlie Beach, QLD Ph: +61 7 4964 1199 or 07 4964 1188 Free call: 1800 624 634 www.magnums.com.au CLUB CROCODILE Shute Harbour Road, Airlie Beach, Australia Freecall: 1800 075 151 International Telephone: +61 7 4946 7155 Availability and Rates: Club Crocodile Airlie Beach Bookings airliebeach@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
BBM-601 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE
CAPE TRIBULATION FERNTREE RAINFOREST LODGE
Camelot Close, Cape Tribulation, Australia Australia Freecall:1800 987 077 International Telephone: +61 7 4098 0033 Availability and Rates: www.thebookingbutton.com.au reservationsferntree@oceanhotels.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
RAINBOW BEACH
PIPPIES BEACH HOUSE Cnr of Spectrum Street & Cypress Avenue, Rainbow Beach FREEPHONE: 1800425356 info@pippiesbeachhouse.com.au www.pippiesbeachhouse.com.au 30mins FREE Internet on presentation of this ad PLUS FREE Breakfast & Eco Whale-Watching for all!
WESTERN AUSTRALIA SCARBOROUGH
WESTERN BEACH LODGE 6 Westborough Street Scarborough, Western Australia, 6019 Ph. (08) 9245 1624 westernbeach@iprimus.com.au www.westernbeach.com
PERTH RAINBOW LODGE 133 Summers St. Perth, WA Ph: (08) 9227-1818 or 0417 927 529 Ron@rainbowlodge.com.au www.rainbowlodge.com.au OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS cnr Marine Parade & Eric St Cottesloe Beach Ph: 08 9384 5111 stay@oceanbeachbackpackers.com www.oceanbeachbackpackers.com ONE WORLD BACKPACKERS 162 Aberdeen St Northbridge, PERTH WA Ph: (08) 9228 8206 www.oneworldbackpackers.com.au MOUNTWAY HOLIDAY APARTMENTS 36 Mount St West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9321 8307 info@mountwayapartments.com.au www.mountwayapartments.com.au MAD CAT BACKPACKERS 55-63 Stirling Street Perth, Western Australia, WA 6000 Ph: (0)8 9228 4966 madcat@madcatbackpackers.com.au
www.madcatbackpackers.com.au BRITANNIA ON WILLIAM 253 William Street, Northbridge 6003 Perth WA Ph: 08 9227 6000 Fax: 08 9227 6611 www.perthbritannia.com YMCA ACCOMMODATION JEWELL HOUSE 180 Goderich St. Perth, WA 6000 tel: (08) 9325 8488 fax: (08) 9221 4694 email: jewellhouse@ymca.org.au www.ymcajewellhouse.com.au OCEAN BEACH BACKPACKERS 1 Eric Street , Cottesloe Perth W/A 6011 Ph: 08 9384 5111 backpackers@obh.com.au UNDERGROUND BACKPACKERS 268 Newcastle Street Northbridge WA 6003 Ph: (08) 9228 3755 Fax: (08) 9228 3744 www.undergroundbackpackers.com.au
EXCLUSIVE BACKPACKERS 158 Adelaide Tce , Perth 6000 Ph: (08) 9221 9991 exclusivebackpackers@hotmail.com www.exclusivebackpackers.com BEATTY LODGE 235 Vincent Street West Perth WA 6005 Ph: (08) 9227 1521 www.beattylodge.com.au info@beattylodge.com.au BILLABONG RESORT 381 Beaufort Street, Perth Ph: 08 9328 7720 bookings@billabongresort.com.au www.billabongresort.com.au GLOBE BACKPACKERS 561 Wellington Street, cnr. Queen St. Perth, WA Ph: 08 9321 4080 globebak@iinet.net.au www.globebackpackers.com.au THE OLD SWAN BARRACKS 2 - 8 Francis Street Perth (Northbridge)6000 Ph: 08 9428 0000 www.theoldswanbarracks.com
MONKEY MIA
MONKEY MIA DOLPHIN RESORT Monkey Mia Road, Shark Bay 3537 Ph: +61 8 9948 1320 monkeymia@aspenresorts.com.au www.monkeymia.com.au
KUNUNURRA
KUNUNURRA BACKPACKERS ADVENTURE CENTRE 22 Nutwood Crescent Kununurra WA 6743 Ph: (08) 9169 1998 1800 641 998 www.kununurrabackpackers.com.au info@kununurrabackpackers.com.au
VICTORIA MILDURA REDCLIFFS HOTEL 25 Jacaranda St Red Cliffs VIC 3496 (03) 5024 1704
HALLS GAP
BRAMBUK BACKPACKERS HOSTEL 330 Grampians Road, Halls Gap, Victoria, 3381 Ph: 03 5356 4250 bramback@netconnect.com.au
www.brambuk.com.au/backpackers.htm Brambuk Backpackers offers travellers an affordable and comfortable range of accommodation, ideally situated within the stunning Grampians National Park.
MELBOURNE EASYSTAY MOTEL AND STUDIO APARTMENTS Great accommodation at fantastic rates Rooms available for up to 4 people Book online and save $$$ www.easystay.com.au Or call 1300 30 17 30 NOMADS MELBOURNE
196-198 A’Beckett Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 44 77 62 Phone: 03 9328 4383 bookings@nomadsmelbourne.com nomadshostels.com
Funkiest backpackers in Melbourne – come enjoy a drink in industry bar/lounge. On us!!Yay
EXFORD HOTEL 199 Russell Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9663 2697 Fax: 03 9663 2248 res@exfordhotel.com.au www.exfordhotel.com.au
BBM-601 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE
Australia
NOMADS ALL NATIONS 2 Spencer Street Melbourne, VIC 3000 Freecall: 1800 739 989 Phone: 03 9620 1022 info@allnations.com nomadshostels.com
$5 off first night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad
FLINDERS STATION HOTEL BACKPACKERS 35 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9620 5100 Fax: 03 9620 5101 res@flindersbp.com.au www.flindersbp.com.au THE SPENCER BACKPACKERS 475 Spencer Street, Melbourne Ph: (03) 9329 7755 1800 638 108 hotelspencer@hotkey.net.au www.spencerbackpackers.com.au Bring this ad for 40 min FREE internet (new guests only). KING STREET BACKPACKERS 197-199 King Street Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: (03) 9670 1111 1800 671 115 info@kingstreetbackpackers.com.au www.kingstreetbackpackers.com.au MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL BACKPACKERS
450 Elizabeth Street Melbourne Vic 3000 Ph: 03 9662 4066 Fax: 03 9662 4077 res@mibp.com.au www.mibp.com.au THE GREENHOUSE BACKPACKER 228 Flinders Lane Melbourne VIC 3000 Ph: 1800 249 207 greenhouse@friendlygroup.com.au www.greenhousebackpacker.com.au HOTEL DISCOVERY 167 Franklin Street, Melbourne VIC 300 Ph: 03 9329 7525. Freecall 1800 645 200 reservations@hoteldiscovery.com.au www.hoteldiscovery.com.au Independent & Budget Traveler Accommodation Provider VICTORIA HALL ACCOMMODATION 380 Russell Street Melbourne 3000 Ph: 03 9662 3888 www.victoriahall.com.au PINT ON PUNT 42 Punt Road Windsor 3181 Melbourne, Victoria Australia Ph: 03 9510 4273 www.pintonpunt.com.au
ST. KILDA
OSLO HOTEL 38 Grey St, St Kilda Melbourne Ph: 1800 501752 Free call or (03) 95254498 or mob: 0407115610 (any time) info@oslohotel.com.au www.oslohotel.com.au From $132 per week, 4 bed dorms HABITAT HQ Freephone 1800 202 500 info@habitathq.com.au www.habitathq.com.au
Award winning 4.5 star hostel with a homely & relaxed atmosphere Specials from $20!FREE pick up from Tullamarine (min 3 nt stay) * Conditions apply JACKSON APARTMENTS St Kilda Beach 80 Ikerman St Ph:0433 118 334 0412 525 510 www.jacksonapartments.com.au Jackson.apartments@bigpond.com
APOLLO BAY
APOLLO BAY BACKPACKERS LODGE 23 Pascoe Street, Apollo Bay Ph: 1800 157 280 +61 352 377850 Mob: 0413 504 402 Fax: 03 523 77385 ww.apollobaybackpackerslodge.com.au
NORTHERN TERRITORY DARWIN
CHILLIS BACKPACKERS 69A Mitchell Street, Darwin Ph: 1800 351 313 www.chillis.com.au ASHTON LODGE & WISDOM BAR 48 Mitchell St, Darwin NT 0800, Australia Ph: 08 8941 4866 ashtonlodge@gmail.com www.wisdombar.com.au MELALEUCA ON MITCHELL 52 Mitchell St Darwin, NT, 0800 Ph: 08 8941 7900 Freecall: 1300 723 437 www.momdarwin.com info@MOMDarwin.com
SHARE ACCOMMODATION CAIRNS
CAIRNS SHAREHOUSE.COM 53a Minnie Street, Cairns Qld 4870 (Cnr Draper/Minnie Streets) Ph: 0740 411 875 or 0412 318 519 info@cairns-sharehouse.com www.cairns-sharehouse.com SPECIAL!!! Mention this ad and receive free DVD hire!! **Note: Best for stays of 4 weeks & more
SUBIACO AND WEST PERTH MALIBU APARTMENTS Share House & Self Contained Apartments Subiaco & West Perth Ph: (08) 9228 9008 info@malibuapartments.com.au www.malibuapartments.com.au
ALICE SPRINGS ANNIE’S PLACE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs , NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.anniesplace.com.au
SOUTH AUSTRALIA ADELAIDE ADELAIDE TRAVELLERS INN BACKPACKERS 220 Hutt St Adelaide 5000 Free call 1800633747 Ph: +61 08 82240753 bookings@adelaidebackpackers.com.au www.adelaidebackpackers.com.au MAJESTIC MINIMA HOTEL 146 Melbourne Street North Adelaide SA 5006 Ph:(08) 8334 7766 minima@majestichotels.com.au www.majestichotels.com.au OUR HOUSE BACKPACKERS 33 Gilbert Place, Adelaide, SA, 5000 Ph: 08 8410 4788 Fax: 08 8410 6288 info@ourhousebackpackers.com www.ourhousebackpackers.com
HINDMARSH GROOVEY GROUP 10 Bacon St, Hindmarsh SA 5007 getaways@groovygrape.com.au Freecall: 1800 66 11 77 Ph: + 61 8 8440 1640 www.grooveygroup.com.au ADELAIDE SHAKESPERE’S INTERNATIONAL 123 Waymouth Street Adelaide SA Ph: +61 (0)8 8231-7655 (Oz Freecall) 1800-556-889 bookings@shakeys.com.au This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it www.shakeys.com.au
FOR MORE LISTING VISIT BBMLIVE.COM
73
ACCOMMODATION GUIDE New Zealand CHRISTCHURCH
CITY OASIS 180 Peterborough Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3366 9531 cityoasis@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz COKER’S BACKPACKERS 52 manchester Street, Christchurch Ph: + 64 3379 8580 enquiries@cokers.co.nz www.cokers.co.nz
BAY OF ISLANDS BAY ADVENTURER BACKPACKERS & APARTMENTS 28, Kings Road, Paihia, Bay of Islands, NZ Ph: +64 9 402 5162 Info@ bayadventurer.co.nz www.bayadventurer.co.nz
KAIKOURA ADELPHI LODGE Main Street, Kaikoura Ph: + 64 3319 5141 Fax: + 64 3319 6786 adelphilodge@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
QUEENSTOWN
BUNGI BACKPACKERS 15 Sydney Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3442 8725 Fax: + 64 3442 8729 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz SOUTHERN LAUGHTER LODGE 4 Isle Street, Queenstown Ph: + 64 3441 8828 southernlaughter@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
NOMADS QUEENSTOWN 5-11 Church Street Queenstown, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 3 441 3922 info@nomadsqueenstown.com nomadshostels.com Queenstown’s brand new fl ashpackers, now open with rave reviews.
FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER
CHATEAU FRANZ 8 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0738 www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz GLOW WORM COTTAGES 7 Cron Street, Franz Josef Glacier Ph: + 64 3752 0172 glowwormcottages@xtra.co.nz www.kiwi-backpackers.co.nz
AUCKLAND
WELLINGTON
NOMADS AUCKLAND 16-20 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 300 9999 bookings@nomadsauckland.com nomadshostels.com
NOMADS CAPITAL 118 Wakefi eld Stree Wellington, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 4 978 7800 info@nomadscapital.com nomadshostels.com Central city backpackers with FREE MEAL every night
$5 off fi rst night (min 3 night stay) if you mention this ad
NOMADS FAT CAMEL 38 Fort Street Auckland, NZ Freecall: 0508 NOMADS Phone: +64 9 307 0181 bookings@nomadsfatcamel.com nomadshostels.com $5 off fi rst night if you mention this ad
Fiji BEACHCOMBER ISLAND RESORT Mamanuca Island Group Ph: + 679 6661500 Fax: + 679 6664496 info@beachcomberfi ji.comwww beachcomberfi ji.com THE BEACHOUSE Coral Coast, Fiji Islands Fiji phone: 679 6530500 Free call (within Fiji): 0800 6530530 Australia info line: 07 55320412 info@fi jibeachouse.co www.fi jibeachouse.co
74
SMUGGLERS COVE BEACH RESORT & HOTEL P.O.Box 10409 Nadi Airport. Ph: (679) 672 6578 or 672 4578 Fax: (679) 672 0662 reservations@smugglerscove. com.fj www.smugglersbeachfi ji.com Skype name: Smugglers Cove HORIZON BEACH RESORT Wailoaloa Beach, Nadi Bay, Fiji Ph: +679 672 2832 or 4578 Fax: +679 672 0662 www.horizonbeachfi ji.co
ROBINSON CRUSOE ISLAND Fiji budget accommodation Ph: (679) – 6281999 (679) – 6282901 robinsoncrusoe@connect.com.fj www.robinsoncrusoeislandfi ji com THE UPRISING BEACH RESORT 679-345-2200 Beach RoadPacifi c Harbou P.O.Box 416 Pacifi c Habou Fiji Islands enquiries@uprisingbeachresort. com www.uprisingbeachresort.com
NADI BAY RESORT HOTEL Wailoaloa Beach Road Private Mail Bag NAP 0359, Nadi Airport Ph: (679) 6723599 Fax: (679) 6720092 nadibay@connect.com.fj www.fi jinadibayhotel.com NADI BAY DOWNTOWN BACKPACKERS Nadi, Fiji Islands Ph: [679] 670 0600 pacvalley@connect.com.fj
BBM-601 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE
ADVENTURE SPORTS
SKYDIVING AUSTRALIA
COFFS CITY SKYDIVERS 64 aviation drive Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 Tel: 02 66511167 – 0400916600 jump@coffsskydivers.com.au www.coffsskydivers.com.au AWESOME in every way! Full Facilities,Cheap Accomodation Gift Vouchers, GOOD VIBES
SKYDIVE BYRON BAY P.O.Box 1615, Byron Bay, NSW, 2481 Hanger 1, Tyagarah Airfield, NSW, 2481 PH: 1800 800 840 or 02 6684 1323 Fax: 02 6684 6323 Email: info@skydivebyronbay.com www.skydivebyronbay.com
The ultimate skydive experience Australia has to offer!
SUNSHINE COAST SKYDIVERS Pathfinder Dr, Caloundra Airport Tel: 1300 727 313 or 07 5437 0211 jump@jumpscs.com www.jumpscs.com SKYDIVE COFFS HARBOUR P.O. Box 351 Coffs Harbour NSW 2450 0433 254 438 info@skydivecoffs.com.au www.skydivecoffs.com.au Beach landings in the heart of coffs
SKYDIVE THE REEF CAIRNS 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@skydivethereefcairns.com.au www.skydivethereefcairns.com.au
Free Transfers from Cairns & spectacular views of the great barrier reef
SKYDIVE JURIEN BAY 36B Bashford St, Jurien Bay, WA, 6516 Ph: 0438 441 239 www.skydivejurienbay.com SKYDIVE MISSION BEACH 51 Sheridan St, Cairns, QLD, 4870 Tel: 1800 800 840 Fax: 02 6684 6323 info@missionbeachskydive.com.au www.skydivemissionbeach.com.au
Free transfers from Mission Beach & Cairns. Australia’s Highest jump and Beach Landings
NEW ZEALAND
SKYDIVE LAKE WANAKA LTD 14, Mustang Lane, Wanaka Airport State Highway 6, Wanaka, South Island NZ Tel: +64 3 443 7207 or FREEphone 0800 786 877 info@skydivewanaka.com www.skydivewanaka.com NZONE ‘THE ULTIMATE JUMP’ Queenstown & Rotorua Tel: 0800 376 796 skydive@nzone.biz www.nzone.biz SKYDIVINGNZ.COM New Zealand Skydiving School FREEPHONE: 0800 NZSKYDIVE Email: info@skydivingnz.com
FIJI
SKYDIVE FIJI 11 Zahoor Road, Nadi, Fiji Isalnds Tel: +679-6728166 Fax: +679-6721415 admin@skydivefiji.com.fj www.skydivefiji.com.fj ‘Incredible views of Fiji’s Islands and Reefs; Beach or Resort landings’
SCUBA DIVING AUSTRALIA
THE SCUBA CENTRE Port Douglas-Cairns-Airlie Beach 230 Sugarloaf Rd. Whitsunday Tel: 07 4946 1067 whitscub@gmail.com www.scubacentre.com.au Coral Sea - Cairns - and Whitsunday Islands Dive live aboards. PADI dive courses and HMAS Brisbane wreck dive. NINGALOO WHALE SHARK AND DIVE CENTRE Located inside reception at the Exmouth Cape Holiday Park: 3 Truscott Street, Exmouth. Western Australia FREECALL: 1800 224 060 www.ningaloowhalesharkndive.com.au
SUNLOVER REEF CRUISES, CAIRNS
Reef Fleet Terminal, Tenancy 3, 1 Spence Street Cairns, QLD 4870, Australia Australia Freecall: 1800 810 512 International Telephone: +61 7 4050 1333 Availability and Rates: sunlovercruises.bookconfirm.com res@sunlover.com.au www.oceanhotels.com.au
FIJI
SUBSURFACE FIJI ADVENTURE DIVING AND WATERSPORTS Beachcomber, Treasure, Malolo, Walu Beach, Funky Fish and Musket Cove Island Resorts Tel: +679 6666 738 info@subsurfacefiji.com www.subsurfacefiji.com Fiji’s multi award winning Dive and Watersports Company. Enjoy HALF PRICE on all diving and PADI dive courses during February and March at Beachcomber and Treasure Island Resorts.
TOURS/ ADVENTURES AUSTRALIA
YOUNG TRAVELLERS TOURS MELBOURNE Ph - 0488 002 212 www.yttours.com Fun original tours along the Great Ocean Road and Phillip Island! One day tour from $90 SEALINK 440 King William Street Adelaide SA 5000 Ph: 08 8202 8678 bookings@kiadventuretours.com.au www.sealink.com.au
SKYRAIL RAINFOREST CABLEWAY Cnr of Captain Cook Highway and Cairns Western Arterial Road, PO Box 888 Smithfield, Queensland, 4878 Ph: 07 4038 1555 Fax: 07 4038 1888 mail@skyrail.com.au www.skyrail.com.au GOING SOUTH Four days, two famous Aussie icons, one awesome tour Ph: 1800 009 858 www.goinsouth.com.au
BBM-601 // ACCOMMODATION GUIDE
OCEAN SAFARI CAPE TRIBULATION The Boardwalk Café, Cape Tribulation Rd, Cape Tribulation Tel: 07 4098 0006 Fax: 07 4098 0195 oceansafari@westnet.com.au www.oceansafari.com.au
The Great Barrier Reef in just 25 minutes, join our half day Eco Tour for an exhilarating ride of your life and two hours of pristine snorkelling at Mackay and Undine reefs.
RAFTING
AUSTRALIA
OCEAN RAFTING WHITSUNDAYS The Jetty, Coral Sea Resort, Airlie Beach Tel: 07 4946 6848 Fax: 07 4946 1488 oceanrafting@airlie.net.au www.oceanrafting.com.au
Each Ocean Rafting day includes a visit to Whitehaven Beach, pristine snorkelling reefs and stunning national park Island walks. Whitsunday Adventure Tourism Winner 2008 and Eco accredited
MULGAS ADVENTURE 4 Traeger Avenue Alice Springs, NT, 0871 Ph: 1800 359 089 www.mulgas.com.au
HOT AIRBALLOONING AUSTRALIA
BALLOON SUNRISE PO Box 229 Yarra Glen 3775 Tel: 9730 2422 or Freecall 1800 HOTAIR (1800 468 247) info@hotairballooning.com.au www.hotairballooning.com .au
STAND UP PADDLE SURFING AUSTRALIA
STAND UP PADDLE SURFING 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@1770sup.com.au www.1770sup.com.au
KITE SURFING AUSTRALIA
KITESURF 1770 / IKO CER TIFIED KITEBOARDING SCHOOL/CENTRE 3 Graham Colyer Drive, Agnes Water - QLD Ph: 07 4974 7874 / 07 4962 0210 Mobile: 0422 806 235 info@kitesurf1770.com.au www.kitesurf1770.com.au KITE REPUBLIC Shop: 10-18 Jacka Blvd. St.Kilda Sea Baths Complex, St.Kilda 3182 Melbourne, VIC Ph:(03) 95370644 Mob: +61 418583233 info@kiterepublic.com.au www.kiterepublic.com.au
MARINE CHARTERS AUSTRALIA
ADVENTURE BAY CHARTERS 2 Jubilee Drive Port Lincoln, SA, 5606 Ph: 04 8842 8862 info@adventurebaycharters.com.au www.adventurebaycharters.com.au
KANGAROO ISLAND MARINE CHARTERS 9 Chapman Terrace, Kingscote, Kangaroo Island, SA Ph: 0427 315 286 Fax: 08 8553 0016 www.kimarineadventures.com
fascinating ice formations with NZ’s most experienced glacier guiding company. Offering a full range of trips to suit all fitness levels.
SURFING AUSTRALIA
KAYAKING
SURF CAMP AUSTRALIA 235 CLARENCE ST, SYDNEY PH: (02) 9262 1757 www.surfcamp.com.au
ADVENTURE KAYAKING 7 Hastings Street, Glenelg South, SA Ph: (08) 8295 8812 bookings@adventurekayak.com.au www.adventurekayak.com.au
SURFING AUSTRALIA NATIONAL SURFSCHOOL NETWORK Tel: 07 5599 3800 Chris@surfingaustralia.com http://www.surfingaustralia.com
AUSTRALIA
SAILING
AUSTRALIA
ADVENTURE KAYAKING Marina Pier, Holdfast Shores Marina Glenelg SA 5045 Ph: 0412 811 838 Fax: (08) 8353 0750 info@dolphinboat.com.au www.dolphinboat.com.au
BIKE RIDING AUSTRALIA
ESCAPE GOAT Adelaide, SA Ph: 08 8121 8112 0422 916289 info@escapegoat.com.au www.escapegoat.com.au
JET BOATING
NEW ZEALAND SHOTOVER JET
The World’s Most Exciting Jet Boat Ride, and the only company permitted to operate in the spectacular Shotover River Canyons.
Shotover Jet Beach, Gorge Road Arthurs Point, Queenstown, New Zealand Free Phone (NZ only): 0800 SHOTOVER Phone: +64 3 442 8570 Fax: +64 3 442 7467 reservations@shotoverjet.co.nz www.shotoverjet.com
AUSTRALIA
JET BOAT EXTREME Behind Titanium Bar Ferny Avenue Surfers Paradise Queensland Ph: 0755388890 Mob: 0404099981 info@jetboatextreme.com.au www.jetboatextreme.com.au
ROLLERBLADING
Come surfing with the original surfschool network in Australia…safety and fun in the one experience
MOJOSURF 2/9 Marvel Street Ph: 02 6639 5100 reservations@mojosurf.com http://mojosurf.com Living the dream… SANCTUARY SURFERS 201 Waymouth Street Adelaide South Australia 5000 Ph: 0403 134 478 luke.j.d@gmail.com www.sanctuary.net.au SURFSHACK IS AN ACCREDITED SURF SCHOOL Lessons from $50 for 2 hours Lake Entrance Surf Shack 507 Esplanade Ph: 03 5155 4933 Mallacoota Surf Shack 41 Maurice Avenue Ph: 03 5158 0909 www.surfshack.com.au
JUNGLE SURFING AUSTRALIA
JUNGLE SURFING CANOPY TOURS PO Box 117 Port Douglas, Queensland Ph: 07 4098 0043 info@junglesurfing.com.au www.junglesurfing.com.au
RIVER BOARDING NEW ZEALAND
MAD DOG RIVERBOARDING 37 Shotover Street Queenstown New Zealand Ph: +64 3442 7797 www.riverboarding.co.nz
SHARK EXPEDITIONS AUSTRALIA
AUSTRALIA
ROLLERBLADING.COM.AU Lessons in Sydney and Melbourne Purchase lessons online www.rollerblading.com.au/british Ph: 0411872022
RODNEY FOX EXPEDITIONS 73 Ninth Avenue, Joslin, Adelaide, South Australia, 5070 Ph: (08) 8363 1788 www.rodneyfox.com.au
GLACIER GUIDING
BUNGY JUMPING
Fox Glacier Guiding 44 Main Rd, Po Box 38, Fox Glacier, New Zealand Tel: +64 3 751 0825 Freephone (NZ only): 0800 111 600 Fax: +64 3 751 0857 info@foxguides.co.nz www.foxguides.co.nz
AJ HACKETT CAIRNS Mc Gregor Road Smithfield, QLD 4878 Ph: (07) 4057 7188 Free call: 1800 622 888 (Aus only) Cairns.reception@ajhackett.com www.cairns.ajhackett.com
NEW ZEALAND
AUSTRALIA
Take a breathtaking guided trip on the West Coast’s longest and less crowded glacier amidst
75
CRYSTAL BALLS
Our resident psychic, Crystal, tells you your fortune for this week
Aries Your time in Australia is nearly up. You have become a different person since you arrived in the land down under 12 months ago. Back then you were a bit of a tit but now you are a full-blown tosser. You will realise this when you arrive back home and come back to earth with a thud in Blighty.
Taurus Make no mistake, you are one hot girl and everyone in the office thinks that - but your fellow females are ready to kick your head in, such is the extent of their jealousy of you. Stop wearing the short skirt and tiny blouse to work and change into big baggy jumpers and trousers for your own safety.
76
Gemini
Virgo
Sagittarius
You have to speculate to accumulate but this statement doesn’t apply to blowing the last of your savings in the casino, you absolute maniac.
Stop kidding yourself, you are riddled with every STD known to man.
It’s good to be proud of your body but constantly wandering around your flat in the nude has your housemates choking on their chicken noodles.
What are you going to do for money now? Bank of Mum and Dad will be getting used for another loan no doubt.
Cancer
You have girls in bars all around Australia scratching their crotches frantically. Sort it out, you are a one-man pestilence.
It’s hard to concentrate on Survivor when you are sitting nude, legs akimbo on the couch.
Libra
Capricorn
When you go out When with a girl, are you especially going to TOO get that INSENSITIVE! on a first date, it’s mole on not standard practice your arm when you have finished checked out? When it’s your drink to nod to the big enough to pick up bar and whistle, as if the phone and dial the telling her to fetch. digits itself?
Leo You’ve always been a happygo-lucky cheeky charmer. This yields results with girls in your teens and early 20’s but as you approach the big 30, still living at home doing part time hours and getting your mum to iron your underpants, your suave charm is fading by the day.
Unfortunately, everyone at work knows that you can’t satisfy your girlfriend.
Especially when she has hardly touched her Smirnoff Ice.
The fact that she runs from the room in frustrated rage during your lunch break shouting, “He’s fucking done it again,” is a give away for your overexcitable lovegun.
Scorpio
Aquarius
Your flatmate is advertising your room. Check Gumtree.
Have you never noticed that complaining may make you feel better for a little while, but it just makes everyone else think you are a pathetic twat?
Persistent loud sex on a rickety old bed can take its toll. Buggery on the kitchen table is just plain unhygienic.
Pisces Your boyfriend’s shagging your sister.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
ASK CRYSTAL
Dear Crystal, I HAVE been seeing this girl for some time now but she won’t give in and let me shag her. I have tried everything but she just isn’t up for it. I really like this girl and I don’t want to seem like I’m only after sex but my balls are beginning to resemble space hoppers. What can I do? Chad, Fremantle
Do you have a pressing problem that needs Crystal’s attention? If so, e-mail Crystal via. editor@what-media.com
Dear Chad,
Dear Crystal,
Dear Sue,
THIS is a problem that I’m sure most guys have – except those who go out with me.
MY friend is a really nice girl but she is really unhygienic.
THIS is tricky, but sometimes people need a short, sharp blast of reality to kick them into action.
They usually end up kicking and screaming, trying to get out of the bedroom before I entice them back in for more.
I am staying in the same flat as her and everything is great, except she spends the night farting, picking her nose and flicking it at the telly.
You have to woo her – a romantic meal with plenty of drinks always works.
When she goes to the toilet it smells like someone’s rotting corpse afterwards.
Why not try Crusty Jack’s Chicken Shack? That place always gets me in the mood for a drilling.
She is a great flatmate but her horrible habits are driving me insane. How can I approach her without offending her? Sue, Brisbane
Just tell her how disgustingly vile she is and that she should seriously improve her diet as two minute noodles and Bacardi Breezers are leaving the bathroom like a sewer and, no doubt, her arsehole like a chewed orange. If this doesn’t work then maybe I could move in with you? I don’t really fart that much although I do like to Mr Whippy a fella on the bed from time to time.
JOKES TO READ BBM’S DAILY DOSE OF UK NEWS , VISIT BBMLIVE.COM/UK-NEWS
JUSTIN Bieber’s f lm has made more money than Michael Jackson’s This Is It at the box off ce. That’s what he would’ve wanted, a young boy on top of him. Charlie, Brisbane MY wife shouted upstairs, “The sun’s just come out.” I thought, “great!” I threw on some shorts, f ip f ops and ran down the stairs. I was rather shocked when I got down to f nd our lad holding hands with his mate Steve. Travis, Surfers Paradise I was ice-skating today, just minding my own business, when I noticed some big fat bird... Eventually, she came over. “I’m not very good at breaking the ice.” She laughed. “Have you tried jumping?” I asked. Stefan, Redfern I was in the gym earlier and decided to jump on the treadmill. People were giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead. Lauren, Adelaide
78
I’M pretty sure that’s the last time the charity people will leave me a bag saying, “Fill with love.” Tom, Cairns MY wife started complaining about a f y buzzing around the room, but a few smacks solved that problem. The f y started to get annoying though... Jason, Richmond I told my mate that, in order to get laid, I’d promised my girlfriend that I’d marry her in the winter. He said, “July?” I said, “Of course I did.” Wayne, Perth I told the wife, “Why do you watch the cooking channel? You still can’t cook.” She replied, “Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck.” Bobby, Woolhara
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
SCOREBOARD ENGLISH LEAGUES PREMIER LEAGUE Team PlWDL+/-Pts Manchester United 30 18 9 33463 Arsenal2917753058 Chelsea2916672954 Manchester City3015871853 Tottenham Hotspur2913106749 Liverpool3013611545 Bolton Wanderers30101010140 Everton309138140 Sunderland3091110-438 Stoke City3011415-237 Newcastle United309912-136 Fulham307149035 Blackburn Rovers309615-1233 Aston Villa308913-1433 Blackpool309615-1533 West Bromwich Albion308913-1533 West Ham United3071112-1332 Wolverhampton Wanderers309516-1432 Birmingham City2961310-1331 Wigan Athletic3061212-2230
Tables accurate as of noon Saturday, March 12th, AEST.
LEAGUE 1
CHAMPIONSHIP
Team PlWDL+/-Pts Brighton and Hove 3623 8 54077 Huddersfi eld Town3819109196 Southampton3619893465 Peterborough United37205122465 Milton Keynes Dons FC3819712764 AFC Bournemouth371710102161 Leyton Orient36151291457 Carlisle United37141013352 Rochdale35131210551 Colchester United38131213-651 Hartlepool United3814816-1450 Charlton Athletic36131013-149 Brentford3714716-649 Exeter City37131014-849 Oldham Athletic38111314-846 Sheffi eld Wednesday3612717-44 Notts County3512617-442 Tranmere Rovers3611916-842 Yeovil Town3611817-1741 Dagenham & Redbridge35101015-940 Walsall3810919-1639 Bristol Rovers379919-3136 Swindon Town3771317-1734 Plymouth Argyle3812719-1833
Team PlWDL+/-Pts Queens Park Rangers 38 21 13 43776 Norwich City 38 18 13 71567 Swansea City38206121766 Cardiff City38189111463 Leeds United3816139961 Nottingham Forest38151581360 Reading37141581857 Burnley37151210757 Watford381511121456 Hull City38141410456 Leicester City3816715055 Millwall381412121154 Portsmouth3815914254 Bristol City3814816-450 Ipswich Town3814717-149 Barnsley38121115-1147 Derby County3812818-544 Middlesbrough3712817-844 Doncaster Rovers38111116-1844 Coventry City3811918-942 Crystal Palace3810919-2239 Sheffi eld United389821-253 Scunthorpe United3810424-3534 Preston North End3771020-2331
LEAGUE 2 Team PlWDL+/-Pts Chesterfi eld3821116337 Bury371710102461 Wycombe Wanderers37171010861 Torquay United381513101858 Stevenage Football Club381512111457 Shrewsbury Town371512101257 Gillingham38141591057 Rotherham United371511111156 Port Vale37151111456 Accrington Stanley3613149553 Oxford United3815815053 Crewe Alexandra381410141252 Southend United3714914651 Aldershot Town38121511-451 Cheltenham Town38121115-1147 Macclesfi eld Town36121014-74 Lincoln City3713717-1646 Bradford City3613518-1144 Morecambe38111017-1143 Northampton Town3791414-741 Hereford United36101115-1441 Burton Albion3491015-1037 Barnet3881020-2234 Stockport County3871120-4432
OTHER LEAGUES FRANCE Team PlWDL+/-Pts Lille OSC28151032255 Olympique Marseille2814951751 Rennes2814861150 Olympique Lyon28131052149 Paris Saint-Germain2812971245 Saint-Etienne281099239 Montpellier HSC281099-639 Girondins Bordeaux289118338 FC Lorient2810810138 Toulouse FC2811413-137 FC Sochaux2810513535 Stade Brest289811-435 Caen289811-735 AS Nancy2810513-1135 OGC Nice2881010-934 Valenciennes287129233 AJ Auxerre286148-232 AS Monaco285149-329 RC Lens2861012-1428 AC Arles-Avignon281918-3912
SERIE A
GERMANY Team PlWDL+/-Pts Borussia Dortmund2719533862 Bayer Leverkusen2716742255 Hannover 96271629350 Bayern München2714672548 FSV Mainz 052714211844 1. FC Nürnberg271269642 Hamburger SV2712411-140 SC Freiburg2711412-437 Hoffenheim27 9 9 9 Schalke 04279612-233 1. FC Köln279513-1232 Werder Bremen278811-1632 1. FC Kaiserslautern278712-731 Eintracht Frankfurt279414-1031 VfB Stuttgart278514-329 FC St.Pauli278415-1828 VfL Wolfsburg276912-927 Borussia Mönchengladbach276516-2323
3
3
6
Team PlWDL+/-Pts AC Milan3018 8 42962 Internazionale3018662460 Napoli3018571959 Udinese3017582656 Lazio3016681154 AS Roma301488650 Juventus301299745 Palermo3013413-143 Fiorentina3010119441 Bologna3011109-440 Cagliari3011613039 Genoa3010911-439 Chievo3081111-235 Parma3071112-1232 Catania308814-1532 Sampdoria3071013-931 Cesena307815-1629 Lecce307716-2128 Brescia306816-1426 Bari303819-2817
SCOTTISH PREMIER Team PlWDL+/-Pts Celtic2821434467 Rangers2721 2 43665 Heart of Midlothian3018481658 Dundee United2912107546 Kilmarnock30136111045 Motherwell3011415-937 Inverness Caledonian 309912136 St. Johnstone298912-1633 Hibernian299515-1432 Aberdeen299416-1631 St. Mirren295717-2422 Hamilton Academical3021018-3316
80
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
LA LIGA Team PlWDL+/-Pts FC Barcelona2925 3 16678 Real Madrid2923424873 Villarreal CF2916671854 Valencia CF291667954 RCD Espanyol2914114-443 Athletic Bilbao2913313342 Sevilla FC2912611042 Atlético Madrid2911612339 RCD Mallorca2911513-838 Osasuna299812135 Real Sociedad2911216-935 Levante UD2910514-935 Getafe CF299713-634 Racing Santander298912-1533 Sporting Gijón2971111-832 Deportivo La Coruña2971012-1631 Real Zaragoza297913-1230 Málaga CF298516-2129 UD Almería2951113-1826 Hércules CF297517-2226
SCOREBOARD FOOTBALL RESULTS Thursday, 24 March 2011 Under-21 Friendly Match Belgium U21 1-0 Scotland U21 Denmark U21 0-4 England U21 FA Women’s Premier League Cup Barnet Ladies 0-0 Nottm F Ladies (Barnet won 4-3 on penalties) Wednesday, 23 March 2011 Scottish Football League Championship Second Division Ayr 0-1 Forfar Blue Square Bet North Corby 3-1 Vauxhall Motors Blue Square Bet South Lewes 2-1 Braintree Town Scot-Ads Highland Football League Brora 3-0 Clachnacuddin Fort William 1-3 Rothes Keith 3-2 Lossiemouth Nairn County 1-2 Forres Mechanics Strathspey Thistle 1-6 Deveronvale Turriff United 1-1 Inverurie Locos Tuesday, 22 March 2011 Npower League One Brighton 1-0 Notts County Charlton 1-1 Southampton Colchester 1-0 Oldham Leyton Orient 1-1 Dag & Red Npower League Two Aldershot 1-0 Barnet Burton Albion 0-2 Stevenage Crewe 0-0 Accrington Stanley Morecambe 1-2 Macclesfi eld Port Vale 1-1 Hereford Torquay 2-1 Cheltenham Blue Square Bet Premier Darlington 1-1 Kettering Eastbourne Boro 1-2 Crawley Town Grimsby 2-2 Gateshead Histon 2-3 Mansfi eld Rushden & D’mnds 0-1 Luton Scottish Cup St Johnstone 1-0 Brechin Scottish Football League Championship First Division Cowdenbeath 0-2 Morton Dundee 1-1 Dunfermline Queen of South 0-1 Falkirk Raith Rovers 1-1 Ross County Stirling 0-3 Partick Thistle Scottish Football League Championship Second Division Peterhead 2-2 Stenhousemuir Scottish Football League Championship Third Division Clyde 1-1 Arbroath Elgin 1-2 Berwick Montrose 0-2 East Stirling Blue Square Bet North AFC Telford 2-2 Eastwood Town Blyth Spartans 2-1 Workington Gloucester 2-1 Hinckley Utd Guiseley 1-2 Alfreton Town Harrogate Town 3-0 Redditch Blue Square Bet South Bishop’s Stortford 2-2 Chelmsford Dartford 2-2 St Albans Maidenhead Utd 0-3 Farnborough Staines Town 1-0 Dover Thurrock 1-1 Havant and W Welling 1-1 Ebbsfl eet Unite Scot-Ads Highland Football League Buckie Thistle 2-0 Formartine Utd Huntly 1-3 Cove Rangers Carling Premiership Dungannon Swifts 1-0 Ballymena Portadown 0-4 Linfi el Monday, 21 March 2011 Npower League One MK Dons 1-0 Peterborough Blue Square Bet North Worcester 0-1 Droylsden Sunday, 20 March 2011 Barclays Premier League Chelsea 2-0 Man City | Sunderland 0-2 Liverpool Co-operative Insurance Cup Celtic 1-2 Rangers (After Extra Time) Principality Building Society Welsh Premier League Airbus UK 5-0 Haverfordwest FA Women’s Premier League Millwall Lionesses 2-1 Barnet Ladies Sunderland Ladies 1-0 Leeds Ladies Saturday, 19 March 2011 Barclays Premier League Aston Villa 0-1 Wolverhampton Blackburn 2-2 Blackpool Everton 2-1 Fulham
BBM-601// WWW.BBMLIVE.COM `
Man Utd 1-0 Bolton Stoke 4-0 Newcastle Tottenham 0-0 West Ham West Brom 2-2 Arsenal Wigan 2-1 Birmingham Npower Championship Barnsley 0-1 Reading Bristol City 2-0 Burnley Crystal Palace 2-2 Derby Doncaster 0-1 QPR Hull 1-1 Norwich Ipswich 2-0 Scunthorpe Leicester 0-1 Portsmouth Middlesbrough 2-1 Watford Millwall 3-3 Cardiff Preston 2-1 Coventry Sheff Utd 2-0 Leed Swansea 3-2 Nott’m Forest Npower League One Brentford 2-1 Leyton Orient Carlisle 1-0 Bournemouth Dag & Red 2-1 Charlton Exeter 2-3 Yeovil Huddersfi eld 0-0 Swindo Notts County 0-1 Bristol Rovers Oldham 0-1 Brighton Plymouth 0-1 Rochdale Southampton 2-0 Sheff Wed Tranmere 1-0 Colchester Walsall 5-2 Hartlepool Npower League Two Accrington Stanley 3-0 Port Vale Aldershot 1-0 Stockport Barnet 1-2 Morecambe Bradford 1-1 Northampton Burton Albion 1-1 Gillingham Bury 2-3 Cheltenham Macclesfi eld 3-3 Torqua Oxford Utd 2-1 Crewe Shrewsbury 1-1 Wycombe Stevenage 2-1 Lincoln City Clydesdale Bank Premier League Dundee Utd 1-0 Inverness CT Hamilton 0-0 St Johnstone Hearts 3-2 St Mirren Kilmarnock 3-1 Motherwell Blue Square Bet Premier Altrincham 2-0 Tamworth Bath City 2-1 Grimsby Cambridge Utd 2-1 York Eastbourne Boro 0-2 Barrow Fleetwood Town 1-0 Wrexham Forest Green 0-0 Newport County Hayes & Yeading 3-2 Kettering Rushden & D’mnds 2-2 Southport Scottish Football League Championship First Division Dunfermline 4-1 Stirling Falkirk 2-2 Dundee Morton 0-0 Raith Rovers Partick Thistle 0-1 Cowdenbeath Ross County 1-2 Queen of South Scottish Football League Championship Second Division Airdrie Utd 2-2 Stenhousemuir Alloa 2-2 Brechin Dumbarton 4-2 East Fife Forfar 0-4 Livingston Peterhead 1-2 Ayr Scottish Football League Championship Third Division Albion 1-1 Clyde Annan Athletic 2-1 Montrose Berwick 3-1 Queen’s Park East Stirling 2-5 Arbroath Stranraer 1-2 Elgin The FA Carlsberg Trophy Gateshead 0-0 Darlington (agg 2-3) Luton 1-1 Mansfi eld (agg 1-2 Blue Square Bet North Blyth Spartans 1-0 Nuneaton Boston Utd 2-2 Harrogate Town Corby 0-2 Solihull Moors Droylsden 2-1 Alfreton Town Gainsborough 0-1 Hinckley Utd Gloucester 1-2 Stafford Rangers Redditch 1-1 Workington Stalybridge 0-0 Guiseley Vauxhall Motors 1-2 Eastwood Town Worcester 0-3 AFC Telford Blue Square Bet South Boreham Wood 1-0 Basingstoke Braintree Town 1-1 St Albans Dover 2-1 Dorchester Eastleigh 1-4 Welling Hampton & Richmond 0-0 Thurrock Havant and W 4-1 Bishop’s Stortford Lewes 1-5 Farnborough Maidenhead Utd 1-2 Chelmsford
81
FANTASY FOOTBALL $1000 IN BAR TABS UP FOR GRABS! CHECK out BBM’s fantasy league table at http:// fantasy.premierleague. com for all the latest results and standings. Table below was up to date at time of going to press.
Prizes
(in PJ O’Briens bar tabs) are: First: $400 Second: $250 Third: $150 Fourth: $100
# TEAM MANAGER GW
TOT
1 alovelycupoftea James Horrocks 56
1720
2 Dizzying Heights FC Siva Iyer 42
1668
3 Stop, Hammertime! Paul Steadman 74 4 every week you Dan Magee 63
1662 1622
5 Alan’s Deep Bath Jason Kerley 53 6 Alcohol Fc Ron f 63
1619
1582
7 TippytappyFC Richie Egan 57
1548
8 Mukin Fagic Luke Gately 51
1537
9 Rootin & Tootin Oisin Coveney 56
1526
10 Holy-family ‘B’ team Pat Mustard 39 11 Evertonian John Armitage 54
1521 1511
12 bobby dazzlerz Tom Mcelwain 62
1511
13 Red Incas Mark Stansfi eld 71
148
14 Change Name Brian O Gorman 62
1487
15 Arsenal Brian Harvey 54
1482
16 Tallulah Neil Weaver 56
1479
17 Ozzies Allstars *** James Osborne 46
1472
18 Lovely Football Team Raymond Doherty 62 19 fi sty cuffs fc Marc Roche 61
1467
146
20 Insert Name Here Utd Richard Gadsby 46
1465
New Entry Ranking Increased Ranking stayed Ranking Fell the same
WORLD SPORT I’D RATHER BE IN WALES THEN IN MY MISSUS
RUGBY UNION: Mike Tindall is prepared to postpone his honeymoon so he can make his comeback from an ankle operation in England’s World Cup warm-up match against Wales on August 6. The Gloucester centre is set to be sidelined for the rest of the season after undergoing surgery to repair ligament damage suffered during England’s RBS 6 Nations title campaign. Tindall is due to marry Zara Phillips in Edinburgh on July 30 but he has told England manager Martin Johnson he will be available to face Wales the following weekend if called upon. “He spoke to me and said he is getting married at the end of July. I said it is a week before the f rst game and he said “right, I’m available”,”
Johnson said.
England play three times in August - twice against Wales and once against Ireland - as preparation for their World Cup campaign, which kicks off against Argentina on September 10. The England boss is not concerned Tindall’s enforced lay-off will affect his chances of competing at the tournament. “Not a guy of his experience, no,” Johnson said. “When you look at the games for some players between now and the World Cup, there aren’t a huge amount if their clubs don’t make the play-offs.” Everyone at BBM Towers unanimously agree that Tindall is an idiot.
HAYE WAITS FOR BIG KLIT BOXING: David Haye’s $40million super clash against Wladimir Klitschko is at the centre of a bidding war between seven countries. WBA world heavyweight champion Haye is due to face IBF and WBO king Klitschko on July 2, and the only detail missing from the signed contract is where it will be staged.
have all demonstrated serious interest. Haye is contracted to f ght either the younger Wladimir or his 39-year-old brother Vitali, who successfully defended his WBC title in Cologne on Saturday against Cuba’s Odlanier Solis.
Haye’s Manager, Adam Booth, said “Ideally the venue will be in Europe and indoors because we don’t want to have to worry about it raining.”
Vitali’s name was put in the contract as cover, for there is a doubt over Wladimir’s ability to beat a stomach muscle injury that forced the cancellation of his April defence against London-based Dereck Chisora.
Stadiums in countries as diverse as the United Arab Emirates, Switzerland, Monaco, Germany, South Africa and the United States
Booth added: “They have to nominate which brother it’s going to be around the start of May.”
JENSON HOPES FOR START ON THE BUTTON
MOTORSPORT: The 2011 Formula One Season kicks off this weekend with the Australian Grand Prix, from Melbourne’s Albert Park. The Season, which was originally meant to kickoff in Britain, will have three drivers in this year’s Championship with Mclaren drivers, Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton, joined this year by Paul Di Resta who is driving for Force India.
Both Button and Hamilton will be looking to do a lot better then last season, when the McLaren team was resigned to positions further down the
82
f eld following the runaway success of Red Bull and Ferrari.
Pre-Season Testing has shown Red Bull and Ferrari as the front runners again, but Button remains conf dent McLaren will return to being a force. “Of course, I haven’t doubted that at any time. That is one of the two of the reasons why I am here. I would like to do it with McLaren, this team gives me the best opportunity to win the world championship,” he said as he pissed his pants.
FOOTBALL: Fernando Torres says he is not losing any sleep over his Chelsea goal drought. The £50million Blues striker insisted: “I am not anxious about the fact that I haven’t scored my f rst goal for the club. “That is an issue for other people, not for me. I am conf dent that the goals will soon come but it is far more important for me that Chelsea win than I score.” The Spaniard has failed to f nd the target in seven appearances since joining Carlo Ancelotti’s side in a record British transfer deal from Liverpool on deadline day.
RUGBY: Martin Johnson has reacted to England’s RBS Six Nations title triumph by indicating for the f rst time that he wants to carry on as manager after the World Cup. In fact, he referred to his job as ‘addictive’. The former World Cup-winning captain has strengthened his position in the past two months by guiding the national team to four successive championship victories. While the defeat against Ireland in Dublin on Saturday shattered England’s Grand Slam ambitions, it certainly didn’t undermine Johnson’s appetite for his work. His employers, the RFU, are determined to delay any contract negotiations until the World Cup campaign has run its course, although Johnson’s current deal will expire in November. The manager is similarly content to put off talks for now. But, asked if he wanted to carry on after the tournament which ends in late October, Johnson said: “Yeah. It’s a very addictive job, even with all the stress and disappointment. Monday was the worst day of the year because after a long tournament, you are there with nothing.”
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
the break you’ve been looking for Adecco is currently seeking 10 reliable, experienced telesales professionals to work in Sydney’s beautiful North Shore. If you have a natural passion for getting on the phone, developing quick relationships and making money fast, call us NOW! How will you stand out from the rest: · Previous outbound telesales experience · Professional & committed · Bubbly & confident personality · Dedication to turn sales into commissions · Exceptional communication skills · A ‘can do’ attitude · Team spirit and a zest for life! What you will get: · Immediate on-going work · Competitive hourly rate + commission · Fun, friendly team environment · Recognition & reward for your success · Great location, close to shops and North Shore train line · A chance to make new friendships & travelling companions To apply you must be committed to at least 3-6 months. If this sounds like the break you’ve been looking for, contact Briana Cowell from Adecco on (02) 9242 3207 or email briana.cowell@adecco.com.au quoting ref: BBM
adecco.com.au
FOOTBALL
VIEWS
SPURS CHANCE TO BE THE REAL DEAL THERE is only one game that has everyone excited in the Champions League quarter f nals. The match where Harry’s heroes face off with Mourinho’s egos. A team that is in their debut Champions League season, against a team that have been champions in the competition. On paper Real Madrid should easily beat the Tottenham Hot Spurs. Let’s be realistic here, the cost of two players in Real Madrid are probably the equivalent of the entire Spurs team. And Real Madrid also have the Special One on their side. Will they be a tough team to beat? Yes.
84
And now they are all eating their words, but still refuse to believe that the Spurs can go all the way.
Can Harry’s Hotspurs beat them? Absolutely. We are talking about a team that took on the raging bull, Gattuso, and were still standing. Not even Ronaldo’s pretty boy looks can scare Harry’s Hotspurs. The Spurs were never even considered as a prospect to go past the group stages in the Champions League. Not many so-called ‘experts’ would even waste their time talking about the Spurs.
It does not matter that the Spurs have already taken care of the Serie A champions and still remain the highest scorers in the competition. So far no one can say that the Spurs have taken the easy route to the Champions League. Well, next stop is the Spanish La Liga because once Real Madrid are beaten you can be assured Barcelona will be next. BBM like living in Harry’s world, because the underdog comes out winning and the top teams are left weeping. - Lorna Evio
QUOTES OF THE WEEK “Fabio Capello is sitting next to Ko lo Toure at Man City. Dont be surprised if he makes him England Cap tain.” The Daily Mirror having a cheeky swipe at Capello regarding skipper-gate ******************* “Andy Carroll is starting tonight, but to be fair, you’d expect him to be starting by 8pm on St Patricks Day Those Mirror Lads yet again, cheeky gits. ******************* “Chris Coleman adds Hitzlburger to Corluccio and Santos. Is he doing a sponsored mispronunciation for Comic Relief?” “Tottenham preparing to bring on Pavlyuchenko. Will be a handful for West Ham - and a mouthful for Chris Coleman” “Chris Coleman: “He was damned if he didn’t, and damned if he didn’ t.” Visionary. Twitter followers getting stuck in over Chris Coleman’s rather shithouse commentary.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
COACH AND SELF DRIVE PACKAGES TO THE AUSTRALIAN AND NEW ZEALAND SNOW FIELDS
NEW ZEALAND + QUEENSTOWN + WANAKA + MT HUTT
AUSTRALIA + THREDBO + PERISHER
COACH SNOW TOUR SYDNEY/ACT WEEKEND
3 DAY MIDWEEK 6 DAY SNOW FIX
*$30 surcharge for July/August. *$20 surcharge for July/August.
COACH TO SNOW
SKI NZ QUEENSTOWN
FROM
FROM
FLY TO CANBERRA
*$30 surcharge for July/August.
*$10 surcharge for July/August.
Includes - 2 nights accommodation at the SNOWY VALLEY RESORT Jindabyne or the River Inn Thredbo - Return transport - Shuttle up and down the mountain each day - National Park fees - 3-course dinner - 2 x Hot breakfasts - Party Night - Saturday is party night!
Includes - 7 nights accomodation at Reavers - 5 day Xtreme Flexi Lift Pass or Queenstown Local Pass - Breakfast Daily - Group Dinner - Airport Pick Up - Nightly activities schedule
www.ozsnowadventures.com.au
Call: 1300 989 955
FOOTBALL
FEATURE
SKIP THE INTRO... IT’S BUSINESS TIME! IN a sign that there is someone left on the planet that actually likes him, “former” England captain, John Terry has been restored in his former role by manager, Fabio Capello.
revelations that he had an affair with former teammate, Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend, Vanessa
Perroncel. Capello decided it best to stand Terry down, to teach Terry a lesson and avoid an uneasy situation regarding Bridge’s international career. Given Bridge’s rubbish form for the past two years, it seems this is no longer an issue.
Terry resumes captaincy duties from previous skipper, Rio Ferdinand, a man it must be said who did a terrif c job in tough circumstances. But given Ferdinand is known to come a cropper quicker than an NRL betting scam, Capello decided to make the change.
Terry faced the media and pulled no punches, to ensure that he “draw a line under it, and move on”. Terry expressed his displeasure at what he clearly believes has been a whispering campaign
Terry was initially stripped of the captaincy following
against him, saying he would respect players who objected to the move by telling him personally. ”If somebody does have a problem, I would respect them coming to me in person.” Terry said he still ‘didn’t agree’ with Capello’s decision to strip him of the captaincy, but also said that he was now ‘older and wiser’ and was ‘concentrating on doing the right things on and off the pitch’. So lets see who he’ll be doing off the pitch, shall we?
THE FIVE WAGS NEXT ON JOHN TERRY’S HIT LIST... CHRISTINE BLEAKLEY
COLEEN ROONEY
She is the partner of Terry’s best mate, Frank Lampard and she is on the Tele. The host of ITV’s DayBreak is certainly a looker, and a vast improvement from Lampard’s former squeeze. With Lampard getting older and more injury prone by his “Fat the day, he is slowly transforming more and more into age Lamps Franky” persona, giving Terry hope. The only advant how to take has over his Chelsea skipper is that he actually knows a penalty... no one drives it “better up the middle”.
VICTORIA BECKHAM
Of all the WAG’s listed this is probably Terry’s best hope. Coleen Rooney’s relationship with husband, Wayne, has been on shaky grown since day one, amid revelations of Wayne’s dalliances with several “ladies of the night”. Trial separations, sleeping in separate beds, yet they remain together... for now. The positive for Coleen?? Any involvement with Terry will allow her to experience what it is like being with a man that actually does something when wearing an England shirt.
be behind her, following Posh Spice’s best days may way), but given her many the on three children (another the years, at least you’ll “cosmetic enhancements” over with. always have something to play her husband’s She might even let him drive y to cry about cars. Becks is also more likel h is handy. whic nce, viole to rt reso it then
ALEX CURRAN The Wife of Liverpool Legend Steven Gerrard, a man who can simply not put a f nger wrong, you would imagine that this would be the hardest “nut” to crack on Terry’s list. But Terry is not one to back down from a challenge, and will be hoping Stevie G will be selected in upcoming England squads, allowing Mr. Terry to make his move.
86
ABBEY CLANCY Voted England’s Hottest WAG in 2010, you would say Terry has his work cut out with this one. Her relationship with Peter Crouch has had to withstand alleged allegations of affairs as well. But with her man standing at 6 foot 7, you would imagine she is one satisf ed young woman.
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
FOOTBALL
NEWS ROUND-UP
CROCKED BALE OUT OF CARDIFF EURO CRACKER ENGLAND have been handed a massive boost for this weekends Euro 2012 clash with Wales, with Welsh dangerman Gareth Bale ruled out. The Tottenham star has been forced to withdraw from the qualif er in Cardiff because of a hamstring injury. The winger was recently hailed as ‘the best footballer in the Premier League’ on current form by England boss Fabio Capello. But he had only just returned to action for Spurs after six weeks out with a back injury and it is believed his hamstring problem could be related to that. Bale, 21, pulled up lame in training midweek and was told he has no chance of being able to face the Three Lions at the Millennium Stadium. But it is hoped he will be f ne for his club’s crunch Champions League quarterf nal with Real Madrid on April 5. GUUS Hiddink has put Chelsea on alert for a possible return to the club by admitting he is set to quit as Turkey boss. The Blues had an approach to make the Dutchman director of football turned down back in November. But Hiddink, who led Chelsea
to FA Cup glory as caretaker chief in 2009, claims he will call time on the Turks if their fading Euro 2012 qualif cation hopes are ended in the next two matches against Austria and Belgium. Hiddink said: “I’m trying to make a better Turkey team. If I can’t do that, I’ll ask the chairman to sack me.” ARSENAL and Bayern Munich have f red the starting gun for the scramble to sign £18million-rated England defender Gary Cahill after both clubs were seen checking out his form recently. Bolton manager Owen Coyle’s recently admitted that Cahill ‘will outgrow this club and will go with my blessing’, which sent out a obvious signal to the centre back’s elite list of admirers, and Arsenal and Bayern were f rst to react by sending scouts to watch Bolton fall1-0 to Manchester United. Cahill, 25, is nearing the f nal year of his contract and there will be no shortage of takers with United, Liverpool, Tottenham and Aston Villa also interested. DIRK Kuyt says he is willing to put pen to paper on a new deal and prolong his stay at Liverpool. The Dutchman still has two years left on his current contract, but is ready to commit to a third year with
THAT’S UNBELIEVABLE!
the Reds. The Merseyside outf ts failed to qualify for the Champions League last season and are now in danger of missing out on Europe altogether. IN the last f ve years, Manchester United have won a hat-trick of Premier League titles and reached two Champions League f nals. They remain on course for a triple this season. The club have an estimated 50 million fans worldwide and are arguably the biggest on the planet. They should be rolling in cash. Depressing f gures released yesterday show United lost £108.9m over the last f nancial year. Crowds have seen the cost of their tickets soar by 42 per cent in the six years the club have been in the charge of their American owners - the Glazer family. United have been milked of around £400m in interest payments and charges since the Americans took control in 2005. A f gure that went up by nearly £100m in the course of the last f nancial year. In that same time, only a net £56m has been reinvested in the team; a net spend less than that of Manchester City, Chelsea, Tottenham, Aston Villa and Sunderland. United had no debt and no interest payments before the Glazers’ stunning £790m takeover.
with ace pundit Chris Kamara
“An Italian football team has been founded by former *Serie A player, Maurizio De Feo. Their claim to fame so far has not been on the football pitch.
The club’s founder, coach, secretary, doctor and all 12 sponsors of the “Team De Feo” club, in Serino, southern Italy, have the same surname: De Feo. Everyone in the playing squad also has the same name: De Feo. Their home ground can be found on, wait for it, Raffaele De Feo street in the town.
WEEKEND FIXTURES Saturday, 26 March 2011 European Championship Qualifying Wales v England Rep of Ireland v FYR Macedonia Npower League One Bournemouth v Charlton Brighton v Swindon Colchester v Exeter Dag & Red v Sheff Wed Leyton Orient v Yeovil, Npower League Two Aldershot v Accrington Stanley Macclesf eld v Stevenage Morecambe v Wycombe Port Vale v Bury Stockport v Southend Bradford v Shrewsbury Barnet v Chesterf eld Blue Square Bet Premier Mansf eld v Kidderminster Grimsby v Tamworth Wimbledon v Rushden & D’mnds Barrow v Bath City Cambridge Utd v Forest Green Darlington v Altrincham Eastbourne Boro v Kettering Gateshead v Crawley Town Hayes & Yeading v Fleetwood Southport v Luton York v Histon International Match Panama v Bolivia Colombia v Ecuador Portugal v Chile Mexico v Paraguay USA v Argentina Sunday, 27 March 2011 Npower League One Huddersf eld v Notts County, Npower League Two Cheltenham v Gillingham, Hereford v Crewe, Oxford Utd v Burton Albion International Match Scotland v Brazil Monday, 28 March 2011 Npower League One Oldham v Tranmere, 19:45 Tuesday, 29 March 2011 European Championship Qualifying Northern Ireland v Slovenia Germany v Australia Rep of Ireland v Uruguay England v Ghana
Unbelievable, Jeff!”
88
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM
SPORT GUIDE
Contents PAGE 88 Football News: Injury Blow for the Welsh. PAGE 86 Football Feature: The Top 5 WAG’s on John Terry’s Hitlitst.
86
PAGE 84 Football View: With Lorna Evio PAGE 82 World Sport: Mike Tindall would rather be in Wales, then in his Missus. PAGE 80 Scoreboard: All the latest football results and tables.
84
90
82
BBM-601 // WWW.BBMLIVE.COM