HOW TO BECOME Your name You have a cute name like Thomas or Niels? NO PROBLEM! Not all of us have the privilege of a typical Berlin name like Ahmad, Yusuf or Hasan. You can just ask yourself what sounds dangerous and makes everyone respect you. Instead of lying about your name just add something special. For example “Habibi”, “Kardes” and “Abi” are all great options.
Valuables Here is list of things you MUST own as a Berlin gangster: Shisha, Hookah, Narghile, Bong Yup I know they are all the same thing. That’s exactly my point. You have to praise the shisha like your lord, wake up with it, go and take it out for a walk, read him goodnight stories before bed and ohh don’t forget about the goodnight kisses. You don’t even need to smoke shisha. Speaking of which every time you go to a Shisha cafe you have to put all the things in your pocket all over the table. Rather than a wallet full of money just find some Monopoly money and put a bunch of it in your wallet. Instead an iPhone just buy an Apple sticker and put it on your phone. I bet nobody is even gonna realize. Instead of your own car keys just take your parents spare ones and than just lie that you left your car in the gas station if anybody asks.
Tinder 2.0 What better way is there in 2020 to meet new people than in the U Bahn? Make sure you look relaxed and Alpha all the time no matter the environment or situation. There is a seat for 3 people in the U Bahn? Sit in the middle and stretch arms and legs and look inviting to cuddle with strangers. Who knows maybe you will become best friends.
