EDITORIAL Dear Readers,
From the Editor
Welcome everyone, to the Sex Issue. We know that you’ve been waiting for Binghamton Review’s undisputed best issue of the year. And how could you not? It’s Valentine’s day (or a few days after it), which means that you most likely have one of two things on your mind: planning a nice romantic evening with your significant other, or how many times your lonely ass can jerk off in one day. Either way, make sure you take some time out of your “busy” schedule to read this new issue of Binghamton Review; I promise, it’s worth it. We all know why you’re here, there’s no point in denying it. Yes, we do have the results from the Binghamton Review 2022 sex survey on pages 8 and 9. Allow me to do a quick analysis of the results in comparison to previous years. Firstly, the virgin numbers are down from 40% last year, to 30% this year. I would kindly ask that you please stop calling us a bunch of virgins, as clearly there are many Binghamton Review members that are engaging in the sexual intercourse. As you probably would have assumed, almost all-male Binghamton Review members have a large penis, with the one small penis intruder from last year still sticking around. Don’t worry, dear readers, we will soon find and eliminate this imposter. There are a few new questions that we added to the sex survey this year, including circumcision status, pussy size, and whether or not the survey participants would have sex with me. In case you were curious, 100% of respondents said that they would, in fact, have sex with me. As if there was ever any doubt. While the sex survey may be the highlight of this issue, it does still contain articles, believes it or not. Good articles too, ones that discuss really important topics, such as Madeline Perez’s “IS VIRGINITY REAL??” on page 6. In case you can’t tell, she discusses “virginity” and “society” and stuff like that. If you think that’s too vague of a description, just read the damn article yourself. Were you attracted to this issue based on the cover? Who are we kidding, of course you were. In that case, I’d recommend checking out “The Death of Comedy: Tucker Carlson and the Green M&M” by Heart Oh-So-Lovin’ on page 12. It should give you all the information you need to satisfy your insatiable lust for the green M&M. And of course, this wouldn’t be an editorial if I didn’t promote my own article. Read “Sleeping With Your Clone: Is it Ethical?” by Matt Gagliano on page 10. I struggled for a while to write this, so if no one reads it I’m going to be real sad. You don’t want me to be sad, do you? DO YOU?
Sincerely,
Matt Gagliano Binghamton Review is a non-partisan, student-run news magazine of conservative thought founded in 1987 at Binghamton University. A true liberal arts education expands a student’s horizons and opens one’s mind to a vast array of divergent perspectives. The mark of true maturity is being able to engage with these perspectives rationally while maintaining one’s own convictions. In that spirit, we seek to promote the free and open exchange of ideas and offer alternative viewpoints not normally found or accepted on our predominately liberal campus. We stand against tyranny in all of its forms, both on campus and beyond. We believe in the principles set forth in this country’s Declaration of Independence and seek to preserve the fundamental tenets of Western civilization. It is our duty to expose the warped ideology of political correctness and cultural authoritarianism that dominates this university. Finally, we understand that a moral order is a necessary component of any civilized society. We strive to inform, engage with, and perhaps even amuse our readers in carrying out this mission.
Views expressed by writers do not necessarily represent the views of the publication as a whole. editor@binghamtonreview.com
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