September 22nd, 2021 (Vol. XXXIV, Is. II) - Binghamton Review

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WHICH E-BOARD MEMBER ARE YOU?

Which E-Board Member Are You? By Our Staff

H

ave you ever wondered which Bing Review E-Board member you are? Well, we here at Binghamton Review production night have devised a quiz to truly determine which E-Board member you are. Which article would you most likely write? A. The Most Smashable Smash Bros. Character B. Post-nut Clarity: The Hard Truth C. No E-Girls D. A Michelin Star Review of C4 E. FNAF fanfiction (If Matt let him write it) Who do you main in Super Smash Brothers? A. Dr. Mario B. Peach C. Marth D. Bowser E. Byleth What do you think the term “pro-gamer move” means? A. Vomiting B. Nutting C. Doing something epic D. Making a lucrative investment E. Being a good boy Its Saturday, how do you spend the day? A. Sleep, sleep B. Bully C. Regret D. Business, as usual. E. Buy an anime figure. Then buy a jar. What type of music do you listen to? A. Ironic by Alanis Morissette B. Frog Rock C. Prog Rock (You wouldn’t understand) D. Grunge XD E. Gregorian chants What do you buy at the corner store? A. Diet Dr. Pepper B. Chocolate because you deserve it

editor@binghamtonreview.com

C. Alcohol (Legally) D. Methanol cigarettes E. A Fedora, M’lady What’s your least favorite word? A. TikTok B. Discharge C. Journalism D. Loss E. Sexual intercourse If you were Ice cream, what flavor would you be? A. Cookie Dough B. Mint chocolate chip C. Chocolate D. Pistachio E. Vanilla

B. Competitive Girlbossing C. Woman hunting (violent) D. Golf E. Jousting What nickname do you identify with? A. Silly silly B. Stinky C. The Sultan of Speed D. The Senator E. Sugar Smacks What’s in your closet? A. Skeletons B. Shoes (Women be shopping) C. Bricks D. Ben Shapiro E. Sticks of inces… incense

What song would you sing when drunk? A. Country Toads B. Can’t Say I’m in Love (from Hercules) C. Never meant D. Plush by Stone Temple Pilots E. Is sober

What’s your go to pick up line? A. Drops limes and then say “Sorry, I’m bad at pickup limes” B. Get away from me C. Want to see me destroy this mile? D. What’s your major? E. *Tips Fedora* M’Lady

What’s your favorite color? A. Blue like my balls B. Pink like the hands of tiny rats C. Yellow like piss D. Black like my suit E. Red like blood Grrr

If you’ve picked mostly A, you’re Matt, the EIC. You’re good at bowling and like wearing cargo shorts. A good friend who’s always uncomfortable.

What crime would you commit? A. Accidental tax fraud B. Stealing vitamins C. Intensional tax fraud D. Insider trading E. Crusading in the holy lands, (Deus Vult!) How do you get rid of unwanted guests? A. Kick them from the GroupMe B. Take my schizophrenia meds C. Shoot them D. Talk about the housing market E. Pray

If you’ve picked mostly B, you’re Madeline, the managing editor. Wacky, quirky, and zany, you’re half funny and half woman. If you’ve picked mostly C, you’re Joe, the copy desk chief. Runner by day, Gamer by night. If you’ve picked mostly D, you’re Chuck, the business manager. You’re probably too busy asking people their major to think about your results. If you’ve picked mostly E, you’re Arthur, the social media shitposter. A cryptid from the deep?

What’s your favorite sport? A. Woman hunting (romantic)

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