Winter 2017
Finding Success in the Midst of Failure “Parents: Let Your Kids Fail. You’ll Be Doing Them a Favor.” This provocative and paradoxical headline for Jenny Anderson’s article in Quartz magazine aligns with our school’s motto: Preparing young people for college and life.
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Anderson advises that, as tempting as it may be for well-intentioned parents to intercede on their child’s behalf when it comes to a school-related “criCADEMIC sis,” they should refrain from “saving the day.”
D E P A R T M E N T
James Lehman addresses the parents’ dilemma in his article Why You Should Let Your Child Fail: The Benefits of Natural Consequences. He states that “somehow in our culture, protecting your child from discomfort—and the pain of disappointment—has become associated with effective parenting. This idea seems to be that if your child suffers any discomfort or pain associated with growing up there’s something you’re not doing as a parent.” Although rescuing the child may seem like the only option a parent has, in the long run, it is shortsighted. Allowing the child to fail and to learn from the failure and prompting the child to self-advocate are two life skills which will benefit him/her in the future. Parents won’t be there down the road when the young adult faces challenges with college professors, colleagues, or bosses. Lehman uses an explanation of the Chinese symbol for the word “crisis” to further his point. “[It] is a combination of the symbols for ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’. I think that parents see the danger part very clearly in a crisis, but often they don’t see the opportunity; your child has the opportunity to learn an important lesson. The lesson might be about the true cost of cutting corners, what happens when he doesn’t do his best at something or what the real consequences are for not being productive.” When a student faces a problem in the classroom or on the playing field, we advise the student to meet with the teacher or coach, not have Mom or Dad call the school. In keeping with our belief statements, we want students to advocate for themselves, to develop the life skills needed to tackle life’s inevitable setbacks and conflicts. Jessica Lahey, author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, writes, “Children make mistakes, and when they do, it’s vital that parents remember that the educational benefits of consequences are a gift, not a dereliction of duty. Year after year, my “best” students—the ones who are the happiest and successful in their lives—are the students who were allowed to fail, held responsible for missteps, and challenged to be the best people they could be in the face of their mistakes.”
Contact Information Main Office: 904-398-7545 Fax: 904-398-5728 Mailing Address: 1055 Kingman Avenue Jacksonville, FL 32207 Website: www.bishopkenny.org Office Hours: Mon.-Fri. 7:00–3:30
Bishop Paul F. Tanner Chapel Schedule Mass: 7:10AM, Monday-Friday Confession: • Daily before Mass • Throughout the day on First Fridays Eucharistic Adoration: All day on the First Friday of each month. Students, parents, faculty, and staff are welcome to participate.
By allowing their children to self-advocate and to accept the consequences of their actions in high school, parents can provide a safety net as their children face challenges when, as Lahey puts it, “the stakes are relatively low.” The parent, along with teachers, can be there to guide and support the child through the process. Talking with adults, accepting responsibility for their actions, learning from mistakes are all learning opportunities in high school. Parents and teachers must partner to help students develop these life skills needed to become autonomous graduates, fully competent to face and deal with life’s challenges in college and beyond.
Eucharistic Congress March 25-25, 2017 Prime Osborn Convention Center Mark your calendars now. For more information visit: http://www.dosafl.com/events.asp