Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

ON DECK YU HAD ME AT HELLO

SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Bad Boys Bad Boys 3 The Bucket List 4 Stars News 5 Rangers News 5 Mavericks News 6 The New Jim Brown 7 COVER STORY Q&A with Katharina 9 NHL’s Hottest Ice Girls 10-11 BLITZ BABE OF THE WEEK Heather 12 BLITZ ENTERTAINMENT O’Brother 13 Seven Things in Seven Days 13 Restaurant Review 14 The Age of Women 14 Hollywood Shuffle 15 Hollywood Profile 15 Movie Review 15 Auto Review 16 Gadgets 16 Joystick 16 BLITZ FUNNYS Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 THE CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 Growing With The Force 18 2-Minute Drill 18 Publisher Kelly G. Reed

Editor C. Patterson

Graphic Designer Damien Mayfield

Photo Editor Darryl Briggs

Cover Photographer Relativity Media/Universal Pictures Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

Staff Writers Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, David Goodspeed, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith, Jesse Whitman Contributing Photographers Joe Duty, Mark Flores, John J. Hodges, Kevin Jacobson, Nicole C. Kibert, Brad Newton, Gus Philippas, Bettie Salt, Mark Shannon, Jeff Stvan, J. Willmon, Casey, Anaheim Ducks Power Players, Crystal Clear Media, Edmonton Oilers, LA Kings Ice Crew, Lightning Girls, OZinOH, Panthers Contributing Writers Jesse Campana, Sonny Capps, Keysha Hogan, Jack L. Pier, Johnny Reeves, Aeryn Ripley, Darnell Scribes, Joe Stumpo

BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha Is it Opening Day yet? I know we have Stars’ and Mavericks’ games through April but I’m ready for baseball. Spring Training in Surprise, Arizona is well under way and the star of training camp is Rangers’ new pitcher Yu Darvish. His arrival to Texas has been met with plenty of fanfare and anticipation. But while the world is caught up in Linsanity, I’ll be doing my part to whip you into a whirling Darvish frenzy. Since his arrival, Darvish has probably been working to navigate the tenuous line between Japanese Nippon Pro Baseball and the MLB. The Rangers will need to work hard to condition Darvish to pitch every fifth day over a considerably longer season while escaping those high pitch counts he ran up back home. In his past, Darvish has thrown quite a few 140-pitch games without the help of relief pitchers. His strategy will have to change because now he’ll need to focus on getting the quick outs. The reports out of training camp have been extremely positive so far. Fans have been blogging and tweeting about his solid fastball and his off-speed pitch that drops as it reaches the plate. Others have noticed his methodical nature and how his pitching mechanics are practically flawless. In all the coverage he’s received, I found my self comforted by one tiny piece of trivia. Darvish takes the time to warm up both right and left-handed. He says it helps keep his body in balance, which tells me he’s a thinking pitcher. With all my Darvish watching, I bet you think I forgot baseball is a team sport. There’s plenty of good team news to go around. Last year Adrian Beltre entered camp with a nasty calf strain, this year he is healthy. Josh Hamilton has lost 15lbs in hopes that his slim physique will alleviate some pain in his joints. And even Nolan Ryan seems to be strolling around with a spring in his step. All of this g good news is fine but make no

mistake, the eyes of Texas are upon Yu. On two occasions during Game 6 of the World Series, the Rangers were within one single solitary strike of winning it all. This year the front office has put $111.7 million on Darvish because they believe that he is the man to bring them that strike. And I’m going to

Photo Courtesy: Brad Newton

have to believe it too, because we need this World Series win. So this week, I Googled everything about Japanese baseball in hopes of understanding more about Darvish. I learned that in Japan the size and weight of the ball is different, as well as the shape and dimensions of the field. They also allow games to end in ties, and are more focused on bunting and fielding rather than pitching and batting. Even the atmosphere of their games is different. Japanese fans love to cheer, stand and create a near deafening environment throughout the entire game. Now I certainly don’t expect Rangers’ fans to interrupt their nacho, hot dog, and beverage-balancing act, but maybe we can make Darvish more comfortable in the Ballpark. So fans, during each game take a break when he approaches the mound and show him a bit of southern hospitality. Get on your feet, and get rowdy! With just one strike from Darvish we could all be forgetting about that devastating Game 6, and saying hello to that World Series trophy.

Snow Blower Charlie Sheen’s baby-mamma Brooke Mueller has put a new meaning to having a ‘coke problem’. Mueller is now facing felony charges of possession of cocaine with intent to distribute from her run-in with authorities in Aspen, Colorado on December 2. Brooke is facing between 18 YAY, YOU’RE FAMOUS! months and six years in a ski-free SO YOUR CELLMATES facility. Maybe they’ll have hot WILL KNOW YOUR NAME! cocoa.

Samuel L. Jackson @SamuelLJackson

Saw a ruff of The Avengers!! Joss went IN on that MUTHAVENGER!!

Everybody Hates Chris Grammy Winner, domestic abuser, now cellphone snatcher…Chris Brown really knows how to be an A-hole. The recent award recipient has been accused of absconding a young lady’s iPhone in Miami and driving off with it also know as “robbery by snatching.” Brown grabbed the phone once he saw the accuser snap a photo of him and said, “You ain’t going to put that on no website” – Au contraire. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

THE BUCKET LIST THINGS TO DO BEFORE DECEMBER 22

By Johnny Reeves - @BLITZWeekly If you were lucky enough to pick up this issue on Wednesday, surprise, it’s Leap Day! But not some average run-of-the-mill Leap Day it’s Leap Day 2012. This is the year its supposed to all hit the fan (see calendar for December 21…the day to kiss your a*s goodbye). We have been given one extra day to do something amazing with our lives before the Earth opens up and we are eaten aliveby my subterranean ravenous swamp polar bears – or something like that. So live life to the fullest and try out one of these adrenaline-inducing activities: Tiger Surfing What you’ll need: A plane ticket, jungle map, extensive pouncing skills, and the balance of…well, a cat I guess to not be mauled to death in a remote region of Bangladesh. Adrenaline points: 9 The MMA Champion’s Groin Kick What you’ll need: Elusive stalking skills to catch your favorite MMA fighter off-guard, a diversion, and a lighting quick yet powerful kick to the coin purse to give you at least a minute and 30 second head start on a run for your life. Adrenaline points: 6 The Mountain Bike Dry Shave What you’ll need: A mountain bike obviously, a jagged trail, a straight razor, and the coordination of Forrest Gump playing ping pong. You’ll know if you can beat this challenge if you’re not bleeding to death in the ravine. Adrenaline points: 5 The Blindfolded Bar Fight What you’ll need: Directions to a biker bar, a blindfold, a plethora of dumb hairy biker insults, and balls made of solid brass (maybe even shined). This is the granddaddy of adrenaline pumpers because hell at least you could see the tiger! Adrenaline points: 10

Happy Leap Day! VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

Dallas Polo Club

LE A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG

C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012 Photo Courtesy: Dominic Ceraldi

Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 2/29 PENGUINS 6:30 P.M. 3/2 @ OILERS 8:30 P.M. 3/4 @ FLAMES 5:00 P.M. 3/6 @ CANUCKS 9:00 P.M.

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 3/4 ROYALS 1:05 P.M. 3/5 @ ROYALS 2:05 P.M. 3/6 @ D-BACKS 2:10 P.M.

FINALLY STARTING TO SHINE ACT I WHAT A DIFFERENCE A WEEK MAKES

QUESTIONS FOR RANGERS IN SPRING TRAINING

By Tony Barone – tbarone@blitzweekly.com

By Mark Miller – mmiller@blitzweekly.com

hat a week for the Dallas Stars. After losing five out of the previous six games, the Stars picked up three wins and six points in five days and suddenly find themselves in a three way tie for the eighth and final playoff spot in the Western Conference. With 20 games remaining in the regular season, the Stars have given hope to a fan base that is in desperate need of a little good news. Key players are stepping up, and the team appears to be coming together as a cohesive unit for the first time since October. Maybe most important, the team got a huge gorilla off its back when they won the second game of a back-to-back for the first time this season, and they won the first game as well! Credit that to outstanding play by the Stars goaltenders in both games that gave the team a chance to overcome the fatigue that has plagued the team all year in back-to-back games. The resurgence began in Montreal when Mike Ribeiro showed his former team exactly why they never should have showed him the door. Recently calledup Ryan Garbutt notched his first NHL goal with hard work and a willingness to put pucks on net. Kari Lehtonen provided cool, calm, collected, and spectacular net-minding to claim the shutout. Two nights later, the Stars were in another original six town taking on the Chicago Blackhawks. Down 1-0 heading into the third period, the Stars scored three goals in

less than half a period for an easy win in one of the league’s most difficult buildings to play in. Coach Glen Gulutzan praised the team’s core leadership group for that win. “We were lucky to get out of the second,” coach Gulutzan said. “Our leadership group took a stand in between the second and third, and we got going. I didn’t do anything between periods. Our leadership group pushed forward and got the job done.” What exactly that entails, no one knows but it’s good to see passion in the right place on a team that is fighting so hard to return to the playoffs after a three year absence. The next night, the Stars were hosts to their cousins from the north, the Minnesota Wild. The Wild have historically had all kinds of difficulties playing in Texas, and this was no exception. The Stars slowly built up a lead by outplaying the Wild in all aspects of the game, and went into the third period with a 3-0 lead, eventually winning 4-1 including an empty netter Photo Courtesy: Dominic Ceraldi by Tommy Wandell at the game’s end. The Stars are finally showing some cohesion and teamwork. Some have questioned the team’s effort since the All-Star break, but that was not an issue in these three wins. Despite all the struggles and the uncertainty, this team finds itself a mere five points behind Phoenix for first place in the Pacific Division. What a difference a week can make.

When we last saw the Texas Rangers, they had just lost their second-straight World Series. That was a little more than four months ago and hopefully for most fans, the heartbreak of twice being one pitch away from winning the Fall Classic has at least somewhat worn off. Much has happened since then. The team lost ace starting pitcher C.J. Wilson who joined slugger Albert Pujols with the arch-rival Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. The Rangers signed Joe Nathan to become the closer and allowed Neftali Feliz to become a starter. Josh Hamilton had a relapse of his alcohol problems. And the team signed Japanese star pitcher Yu Darvish. Like every year, spring training brings a chance to forget the past and focus on the future. While each team has the same optimism, each also has its own unique set of questions to face. Here are 10 the Rangers must answer before leaving their Surprise, Arizona, training facility: How long will the hangover of the World Series last? Probably a very short time. Led by Manager Ron Washington, his staff and players like Michael Young, the Rangers have proven to be a very resilient group. They haven’t become too down on themselves when things go bad or too high when things go well. Look for them to put 2011’s bad memories behind them quickly. Is Yu Darvish the real deal? He is if he pitches anything like he did in Japan. If he does, the Rangers could have the best starting rotation in the American League. Who will emerge as the No. 1 starter? It likely will be either veteran Colby Lewis or young Derek Holland. Will Neftali Feliz succeed as a starter? Many people forget Feliz was a very good starter in the minor leagues. He made three starts with the Frisco Roughriders in the 2008 Texas League playoffs including one game with 11 strikeouts. Who will be the odd man out of the starting rotation? The addition of Darvish and Feliz means six pitchers are vying for five spots. Most vulnerable are Alexi Ogando, who would return to his previous setup role, or Matt Harrison who would solve another problem as the top left-hander in the bullpen.

Can Joe Nathan stay healthy? He’d better if the Rangers are to succeed since he’s the new bullpen finisher. He’s also already considered a leader after Washington asked him to speak during the team’s first meeting Sunday. Will Josh Hamilton’s alcohol relapse affect his on-field performance? It didn’t a few years ago and his teammates don’t believe it will be a problem this time. Who will join Hamilton and Nelson Cruz in the outfield? It depends where Hamilton plays. If he’s in left field, as Washington prefers, then Craig Gentry, Leonys Martin and Julio Borbon will battle for center field. If Hamilton roams the middle, then David Murphy plays a lot of left field. Can Mike Napoli come close to what he did in 2011? He’s signed for just this year and most players on such contracts tend to fare well. Will Michael Young continue his MVP-like statistics? No matter how well Young plays, he’ll give it his best effort because that’s how he plays the game. His teammates tend to follow his lead.

These questions and others will be answered in the next month when the Rangers go through their spring training games. They begin Sunday against the Kansas City Royals and conclude April 2-4 with games in Round Rock, Arlington and Frisco. Stay tuned. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25 Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 2/29 @ GRIZZLIES 7:00 P.M. 3/2 @ HORNETS 7:00 P.M. 3/3 JAZZ 7:30 P.M. 3/5 @ THUNDER 7:00 P.M. 3/6 KNICK 7:30 P.M.

BIG D DEFENSE MAVS RESET DURING ALL-STAR BREAK By Geoff Case – @geoffcase

he Mavericks have got to love where they are at the All-Star break. They rank as one of the best defensive teams in the league despite losing major contributors on that end. In fact, they are the NBA leaders in holding opposing teams to .416 percent shooting from the field and they are fourth allowing 90.8 points a game. The numbers are actually better than last year, in which they won their first championship in franchise history. Head Coach Rick Carlisle makes it a point to focus on defense and the results are showing this lockout season. “We sell it. We sell it,” Carlisle said. “We haven’t had the time to really spend a lot of time on our offense. We play a lot of basic concepts. … Our emphasis is the defensive end, because we feel our flow game offense is good enough to where we can create shots. But that doesn’t happen if we don’t get the stops.” The Mavericks’ best defender this season has clearly been Shawn Marion who deserves some defensive player of the year consideration. He routinely guards the opposing team’s best player while providing an excellent outlet for Jason Kidd on the fast break. He is active around the basket and plays above the rim, which is something that no other starter on the Mavs provides. Shawn Marion was only 3-of-13 from the field Wednesday against the Lakers, but his defense on Kobe Bryant was sensational. Marion held Bryant to 15 points on 4-of-15 shooting with seven turnovers. Shawn Marion has simply been splendid for the Mavericks this season and the only one to play in all 34 games. That didn’t keep the Mavs from having a tough start to the season, losing their first three games and giving up at least 100+ points in every one of them. They bounced

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back by refocusing for the next block of games and set a franchise record by holding 15 consecutive opponents to under 100 points. There was another stretch where 10 opponents in a row didn’t reach 100 points. The Nuggets last week were held 20 points below what was then their NBA-high scoring average of 104. The Mavericks are also very fortunate to be fourth in the Western Conference after dealing with multiple injuries to key players. Nowitzki, who struggled mightily to start the season, had a planned fourgame hiatus late last month to strengthen his sore right knee. Jason Kidd is back from missing six games because of a strained right calf muscle after being out four games earlier with a strained lower back. Guard Delonte West is out a couple more weeks after he broke his right ring Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs finger last week. In a lockout shortened season injuries are expected, but the Mavericks have had to rotate major guys in and out. The next stretch will be increasingly brutal. When the Mavericks start up again on Tuesday night at home against New Jersey, it will be their first of nine games in 12 days. “We’ve made some strides. Our health is an issue, we’ve got to get that right,” Carlisle said. QUICK NOTE The Dallas Mavericks have been selected to play two preseason games overseas next season. The first location is in Germany and that should not come as a surprise since Dirk Nowitzki is from Germany, the other location is in Barcelona, Spain. The training camp for the Mavericks will open a few days earlier to accommodate for the lengthy trip, and as of now the opponents have not been named.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

THE NEW JIM BROWN VINCE BECOMES POLITICALLY ACTIVE By Darnell Scribes – myboxseat@gmail.com

t’s very safe to say at this point that Vince Carter of the Dallas Mavericks is no Jim Brown. What I mean is, I have never seen “Half-man Half-amazing” even mention anything publicly about his political views. With that said I still have to give credit where credit is due. He did host a fundraiser for President Obama’s reelection campaign. No, he may not be the outspoken, political leader that is Jim Brown, who helped launch the Black Economic Union, giving a start to over 400 black-owned and operated businesses while widely being considered a dangerous political threat, spied on by the FBI and it’s head watch dog J. Edgar Hoover. I do also take into account that the landscape of American politics has changed dramatically since the early days of Jim Brown’s work in the social arena, an era responsible for creating social giants like Muhammad Ali, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and Tommie Smith. Athletes today seem to be a much safer breed when it comes to statements concerning the government and it’s policies. You don’t see many of them leading marches with Al Sharpton. It’s no hour- long interviews on CNN with Piers Morgan about the issues. So to some it might seem as if they are not making any significant statements at all on our social conditions. On the other hand judging from the $30 thousand dollars a plate it cost to rub shoulders and chow with the current leader of the free world, Vince Carter along with the other high profile former and current NBA players invited on All-Star Weekend to attend may actually be making even bigger statements than some of the iconic figures I mentioned earlier. True they are not risking their lives and earning power by expressing their views. They are an example of what those political pioneers fought for. The dollar is now more powerful in most instances than the speeches and marches mainly because of the actions that it can sponsor. Just the fact that all of these players are African Americans with enough capital to influence the president to join them in Orlando speaks volumes to the strides made by athletes. The Magic Johnsons, Chris Pauls and LeBron Jameses of the world that can afford the million-dollar listings like the one Carter owns in places like Isleworth, Florida have changed the perception of activism. They have the intimate ear of the senators and congressmen that were once not accessible to them or their concerns because of the economic divide. Now these athletes have the ability to

form their own charities and fund their favorite pet causes without the help of the people who don’t share their same ideologies. Giving President Obama just cause in saying, “Obviously, those here, we’ve been blessed,”… “But one of the great things about America and one of the great things about professional sports is we’ve all got cousins, uncles, family members, who are still struggling. And we are reminded we have a lot more work to do.” So yes, Vince might not be Jim Brown, but having the power to have the President of these United States in your home, your 29,000-square-foot home, inside your plush personal basketball gym to help raise funds for the Democratic National Convention and his reelection campaign shows the amount of political influence that modern athletes do have. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25 Photos Courtesy: Crystal Clear Media

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

e invite you to get to know someone who elevates a game without scoring a single goal or making a single save. She is part of a team that knows exactly what to say and what moves to make and coincidently are responsible for getting husbands slapped in the back of the head after being told to “keep your eyes on the game mister.” She’s one cold (shut yo mouth!)…I was just gonna say cheerleader. Ice Ice Baby.

WHERE ARE YOU FROM AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AN ICE GIRL?

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT BEING AN ICE GIRL? WHY DID YOU JOIN?

WHAT’S YOUR MOST MEMORABLE EVENT OR GAME AS AN ICE GIRL?

I was born in Dallas and have spent most of my life here. I am privileged to say this is my second year as an Ice Girl.

Other than getting fabulous glass seats to every game, I’d have to say it is the unique opportunities I’ve gotten to experience. We get to meet the most interesting people. I decided to try out after one of the girls I grew up skating with, who was on the squad for two years before me, texted me saying I should audition, so here I am.

There is never a dull moment when you are a part of this team! But most recently, getting to go on the WFAA Good Morning Texas show and hold cockroaches and pet penguins was pretty memorable.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SKATING?

I really started skating after I got my first pair of skates when I was seven years old.

WHAT’S YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT AS AN ICE GIRL?

It is much funnier now than it is embarrassing, but last season I was tripped by an opposing team’s goalie. He was stretching on the goal line and was just a little too close to my path. My snowplow caught his stick and went flying, my feet slipped out from under me and I hit the ice.

WHAT’S NEXT FOR YOU?

I am still trying to figure out exactly what career path I want to take after I graduate, but, hopefully, something that combines my two majors of geology and journalism. ANY ADVICE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE FOR OUR FEMALE READERS ON BECOMING AN ICE GIRL?

We offer prep classes during the summer and those are invaluable. If you want to try out that is the best way to find out what is expected or what you may need to work on before auditions. And above all else, believe in yourself. It is cliché, but it’s the truth.

By Blitz Weekly Staff - @BLITZWeekly

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

Photos Courtesy: Crystal Clear Media, Deborah Robinson, Mark Shannon, Gus Philippas, LA Kings Ice Crew, Lightning Girls, Edmonton Oilers, Panthers

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

BLITZ BABE OF THE WEEK

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

A FRESH ALTERNATIVE SOUND FROM ATLANTA O’BROTHER WHERE ART SOUND By Jack L. Pier – jackleonardpier@gmail.com

ometimes, it’s just knowing the right words to search for. In this case, my first attempt: “O’Brother” resulted in more hits involving a George Clooney movie than the Alternative Rock band from Atlanta Georgia. Then, after reading a quote that mentioned some wild YouTube videos of them playing with Manchester Orchestra, I got what I was looking for. It turns out the two bands, which are both on Favorite Gentlemen Records, are somewhat incestuous. In that Andy Hull and Robert McDowell just co-produced O’Brother’s first full length LP: Garden Window, which just dropped last month to rave reviews. Based on some of the jam sessions I found online I can see why they work so well together, and why this record has been so well received. From the distortion driven opening note of the first song, “Malum” to the bouncy second song simply titled “Lo,” you can feel a heavy undercurrent. The third song, “Sputnik” shows how dramatic the band can be and gives you a hint of the experimental music that they have in store for you. Starting with an antique radio effect on “Poison!” that’s quickly replaced by

a mantra like expression of “It’s what I needed”. You might be surprised that the length of the song, which is seven minutes and 46 seconds, isn’t the longest track. That would go to one that’s almost twice as long, track 10: “Cleanse Me” that comes in at 13:59 and is reminiscent of a Sonic Youth distortion-fest. I like the next

I found mesmerizing. I can only imagine what this would sound like live. If you’re as curious as I am, you’ll be glad to hear the band will be co-headlining with Junius at Bryan Street Tavern in Dallas on Saturday, March 10th. You can tell the influence of 90’s bands like Radiohead, Nirvana and Smashing

sionist. Johnny Dang also plays guitar and his brother Anton plays bass. Michael Martens is the drummer that completes the band, and is well worth mentioning. As is the band’s ability to harmonize and create some very moody ambiances. Demonstrated by the record’s last track: “Last Breath”, which mixes haunting whispers

Photo Courtesy: Nicole C. Kibert

song on the record, “Lay Down,” but I really like the song that follows: “Easy Talk (Open Your Mouth).” It’s got a catchy beat and I like how they control the lengthy guitar sustains and weave them in and out without going overboard. About half way through, the song takes on a second life with another mantra like chorus that

Pumpkins is still alive and well. The band’s debut EP, In Comparison To Me showed promise but it wasn’t until their follow-up EP in 2009, The Death of Day that the band really started to click. That was when Tanner Merritt and Aaron Wamack joined the group. Both play guitar, but Tanner sings and Aaron is also a percus-

with angelic background vocals. There are a lot of layers to this band’s music and you really have to invest the time to truly appreciate them. I for one am glad to see that Alternative Music is still producing such talented musicians. While the band’s name: “O’Brother” may be a bit cliché, I assure you, their music isn’t.

Photo Courtesies: Casey, Jeff Stvan, OZinOH, Joe Duty, Bettie Salt, Mark Flores

WED. 2/29

PENGUINS VS. STARS AAC – Dallas If Batman could beat this guy then our boys should have no problem. The Stars continue their chase for the playoffs and we’ll be there to cheer them on and you’ll be there too or we’ve got a knuckle sandwich for ya. 6:30pm.

THURS. 3/1

MOCKINGBIRD STATION CONCERT SERIES Mockingbird Station. – Dallas This spring every first and third Thursday Mockingbird station will host a free concert. This week’s musical enjoyment will be brought to you by Club Wood. 6pm

FRI. 3/2

NORTH TEXAS IRISH FESTIVAL Fair Park – Dallas If you think that there are no true-blue Irish in North Texas you’d be wrong lassie. As sure as a shillelagh to the noggin would hurt, the Irish be thick in these parts. And don’t you forget it. 6pm.

SAT. 3/3

PBR IRON COWBOY III Cowboys Stadium – Arlington Pabst Blue Ribbon has a rodeo?! Oh, it stands for Professional Bull Riders - we guess that’s cool too. Get there early and see Dierks Bentley then watch guys ride the future father of your steak. 7pm.

SUN. 3/4

MADONNA TO MADONNA Meyerson Symphony Center – Dallas A musical tribute to the mother of Jesus AND the material girl in one night! We hope they sing “Like A Virgin” that would cover both parties. The Turtle Creek Chorale begins at 8pm.

MON. 3/5

RADIOHEAD American Airlines Center – Dallas One of the most prolifically hipster neo-boheim-inspiring groups is coming to Dallas and sure to make every store sellout of knit hoodies, cargo pants, and flipflops. God save the Queen. 7:30pm.

TUES. 3/6

EARTH, WIND, & FIRE Meyerson Symphony Center – Dallas You may think that these are signs of the apocalypse, but it’s really the name of one of the most beloved bands of all-time. And they’re bringing their feel-good music for all to enjoy. 8pm.

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

NOT THE SAME OLD SUB AND DANCE DINO’S SUBS 1 TORPEDOES THE COMPETITION By Sonny Capps – hhhup88@gmail.com

aving spent numerous years in New York, I love a good deli, and there one was just off the intersection – Dino’s Subs. This is the old parts of Arlington, the building is older than I am, and the sub shop has been here for 32 years. Dino’s isn’t here trying to make it; they’ve been here and have made it. Parking isn’t great, but you’ll find a spot. Maybe a dozen tables, no waitresses, but there is a nice new big screen mounted in one of the corners. The menu is on the blackboard behind the counter, almost everything is numbered, you could eat here everyday of the month and have something different each visit. As with all old deli’s you order at the counter, but here you not only order at the counter but the butcher takes your order and cuts your meat right in front of you – talk about fresh. The meat fridge is right behind him and the slicer is the first thing on the counter you see. Don’t overlook the sign “NO talking on cell phone at the counter,” get your order in and move down the line. I was there for an hour and there was a line the entire time. The vegetables are just as fresh as the meats, grab a bag of chips, and if you’re a drinker, they have 12 kinds of beer on tap. As I check the menu out, I no-

THE AGE OF WOMEN By Jesse Whitman - jwhitman00@gmail.com

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tice you can order from six inches up to six-feet. After looking at the board for a minute my girl has stopped jabbing at me as she professes her love of peppered beef, she ordered “The Dino,” peppered beef, baked ham, salami, extra provolone and Dino’s

donned with the red and white table draping from the days of old. I’m not one for following “mania” but I’ll weigh in here on Lin, spending time in NY, you become fond of the holidays in the city, good deli’s and the

Photo Courtesy: John J. Hodges/J. Willmon

dressing and tells them to load it up with the fixings. Right behind her (and not on my phone) I order the 21 “Black Jack.” It was not much different except cream cheese and mushrooms and I tell them to load the boat as well. We get a pitcher of beer and grab a seat at one of the tables

Knicks. Why do I mention this, as we satisfy our appetites with the cured stacks of meats, cheeses, and vegetables piled on bread, everyone in here is cheering the Mavs on as the Knicks escape several late runs to secure the victory. Win or lose everyone here is enjoying the fresh subs and the

or every accomplished man, there is probably a genius woman behind him. Since the beginning of civilization you can see this trend throughout history: Albert Einstein and Mileva Maric, Man Ray and Lee Miller, Jesus and Mary Magdalene. The longest war in history – the war between the rich and poor, the majority and the minority – permeates every part of society and may have prevented women from getting the recognition for their innovations and ideas. Still, the men who changed the world wouldn’t have been able to do it without their female counterparts. History is a curious thing, especially since the winners write it. I can’t help but wonder what the literati and intelligentsia gatekeepers have kept from the rest of the world. After all, information is a powerful thing, and in times of war, one of the worst things would be to let an outlier slip through the exclusive gates. In Albert Einstein’s case, his accolades and accomplishments, the insightful quotes, may have been from the brilliant mind of his first wife Mileva Maric. She was a fellow student in the same program and entering a scientific community that was as cutthroat as it was patriarchal. In a man’s world Maric knew her ideas would never get past these illusive gatekeepers, so Einstein would be another option for her voice getting out there somehow. It is also curious that following their divorce and the publishing of the Theory of Relativity, Einstein left all of his Nobel Prize money to her and never produced anything as brilliant as his previous work. Man Ray was considered one of the most influential artists

ice cold pitchers of beer. With a price of about 30 bucks you get two foot-long subs, a bag a chips and a pitcher of beer. This is plenty of food for two, even if you’re a big eater. Location, well it isn’t the best, but is very accessible. The atmosphere is that of a small original deli. As far as the food, once you get a hold of one of these, especially with the “Dino dressing on it,” you’ll never set foot in a Subway or Quizno’s again. If there where more proprietors like this, chain sub shops couldn’t exist. Fabulous deli, fresh, and just a neat spot for lunch or a weekend venture and remember no matter what you order don’t forget the “Dino’s dressing.” Oh, they even have an ice cream bar, but after you stomach these sub’s you’re not thinking of anything else except when you’re coming back. One more thing, my editor told me to write reviews on new restaurants, sorry. I promise a new review on the first of the month. There’s a few “Dino’s subs” around make sure you get the original… Dino’s Subs 1 2817 Galleria Dr. Arlington, TX 76011 (817) 649-1114 Mon – Sat: 10:00am-10:00pm Sun: 11:00am-10:00pm

of the 20th century for his contributions to the Dada and Surrealist movements. However, consider this: his assistant and lover Lee Miller took most of his famous photos. Still, most art historians rarely mention this little known fact. Even more surprising are the ancient scrolls depicting the words of who some scholars believe is Mary Magdalene that were buried by the apostles. In the Gnostic Gospel of Mary, which was discovered some time at the turn of the 20th century, have been kept from Christianity for nearly 1500 years. With closer analysis, the lost gospels may have been a key part of the story. For one, it exposes the misconception that Magdalene was a prostitute, but rather one of the important disciples of Jesus. It also presents a convincing argument for the legitimacy of women’s leadership, and questioning the very basis for church authority. It is easy to see why the apostles, all white men and representing the majority, didn’t want these words to be included in their sacred text. However, while the war between the majority and the minority wages on, the majority can’t stay on top forever. Eventually the ones below them will find a way through. In an ever-evolving world, women are beginning to make just as much as men and taking on more and more upper level leadership positions. More women are in college today than at any time in American history, even in higher numbers than males. Today is the Age of Women, and James Brown said it best, “This is a man’s world, but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl.”

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

HOLLYWOODPROFILE:

WITH

JENNIFER ER ANISTON

By Vivian Fullerlove – vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com

Lucy Lawless – Xena the Warrior Princess opened up a Greenpeacesized can of whoopass on a tanker docked at the Port of Taranaki last Thursday. The former TV star and six others snuck on to the ship to help halt drilling in the artic and protect the fragile ecosystem there. No word on if Hercules and Conan joined her in the effort. Michael Lohan – Lindsay’s pappy has had to take a big ol’ slice of humble pie, but at least it’s not a bite of a Burger King Whooper. MiLo was ordered by the court to get a job as part of a plea deal in his domestic violence case. He stepped into BK and dropped off a résumé looking to make $7.75 per hr. Instead Lohan landed a gig with WiLD 95.5 in Palm Beach, FL for $8.25. Nice. Jennifer Lopez – JLo glowed at the Oscars and caught quite a buzz on Twitter with her own version of Nipplegate at the Awards. While presenting with Cameron Diaz it sure looked as though one of JLo’s girls was playing peek-a-boo, but with no conclusive evidence we will all have to form our own opinion.

So your character Linda and Paul’s character George are in a difficult spot in their careers and their marriage when the film opens which is a situation all too many people can relate to these days. They are relatable in the sense that they’ve been married for a while, and they’re sort of stuck in terms of just being caught up in the rat race trying to just sort of survive, and I think they’re sort of just maintaining, and they don’t connect really anymore. Could you personally identify with your character in any way? I felt very parallel to Linda and what she was going through. You know that kind of coming out of your shell and just getting out of the rules and letting the walls down and your guard down.

You mentioned Paul Rudd your co-star in the film and he’s also your very good friend in real life. How do you guys manage to make it through some of those scenes without just cracking up laughing? We do, we definitely do breakout laughing, they just don’t leave that in the movie. Who were some of the other folks you enjoyed working with on the film? Kerri Kenney, Kathryn Hahn, Malin Akerman...can you say girl crush fest. This was a group of people, where when we left, I haven’t had that kind of a feeling since..I mean the closest thing to it was Friends in terms of an ensemble of people that you felt so instantly kind of connected too. It’s a shame it had to end in three months. I wanted this to go on for 10 years. So it’s safe to say you had a good time working on this film? It really was one of the most ridiculous amounts of fun I’ve ever had. We went to this little town that we thought was going to be just not as easy of an experience as it turned out to be, and it turned out to be the best version of itself. It felt like we were a million miles away.

You can get lost in Wanderlust this week. The film is open in theatres nationwide and is Rated R for sexual content, graphic nudity, language and drug use.

MOVIEREVIEW OF ACT OF VALOR It’s like Call of Duty, but only better and on the big screen that’s not in your living room. Real life Navy Seals make this a movie experience that you won’t soon forget. Act of Valor will undoubtedly make even the most diehard hippy want to enlist by films end. The combat scenes are extremely “in-your-face” and hardnosed, heck if they were any more real you would need to go to basic training to even set foot in the theater. The “movie” features scenarios of hostage extraction (Roselyn Sanchez

Linda just falls in love with this tiny little community the two of them have stumbled upon quite by accident. What’s the draw for her? She wants to stay because she’s found her, as Paul (Rudd) would say, Wanderlust. She doesn’t want to leave. She’s finally contributing. She’s finally part of a community and helping and giving, you know and making a difference.

Photo Credit: Universal Pictures

By Aeryn Ripley comments@blitzweekly.com

Wanderlust (noun) - the strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world. In the comedy of the same name, Jennifer Anniston and Paul Rudd play a New York couple that leaves the pressures of the big city and joins a freewheeling community where the only rule is to be you. George (Rudd) and Linda (Aniston) are overextended and stressed out. After George is downsized out of his job, they find themselves with only one option: to move in with George’s awful brother in Atlanta. On the way there, they stumble upon Elysium, an idyllic community populated by colorful characters that embrace a different way of looking at things. Money? It can’t buy happiness. Careers? Who needs them? And clothing is optional! I sat down with everyone’s favorite friend to talk about the film and working with her longtime friend Paul Rudd.

By Johnny Reeves @BlitzWeekly

is surprisingly convincing at this role), suicide bombers, and mentally unstable billionaires turned terrorists. As far as the acting goes these guys did pretty well for a cast full of newbies, though don’t expect to see them on the carpet for the 85th Annual “Let’s give it to Meryl” Academy Awards. At times the film comes off as every bit the recruitment film that it was intended to be (expect every cliché in the book thrown at you), but it managed to keep its grittiness and sense of never-ending danger that Seals experience on a moment-

to-moment basis. You’ll leave the theater with a new sense of how meaningless your job is and how important theirs is. It was like humble pie with a popcorn chaser. Action, pseudo-drama, some rigid dialog, and some uncomfortably real situations all are a part of this box office topper. Are there some pitfalls to a Navy Seal movie? Yes. But it is still a more than solid film with an incredibly unfeigned message: They protect us from situations we couldn’t possibly imagine. Never forget that.

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

AUTOREVIEW: PAGANI HUAYRA

Photos Courtesy: Pagani Automobili

FALLEN FROM THE CLOUDS By Aeryn Ripley – @BLITZWeekly

he man that brought you the pavement porn known as the Zonda is back with yet another Italian masterpiece, the Huayra (pronounced why-ra). And this finely sculpted literally translated “god of wind” is a 7-speed sequential, Mercedes AMG V12 BiTurbo M158, rear mid-engine demon. Yes, Horacio Pagani is a supercar genius. Known as Project C9, the Huayra was worked on for seven years before completion. Made of more than 4000 components not including the gearbox and engine, the Huayra is a four-wheeled engineering marvel and one extremely fast car with a top speed caressing the curbs at 230 mph. Pagani stripped down their latest behemoth by utilizing carbon fiber and titanium to the utmost creating 44 percent front 56 percent rear weight distribution and a 1.350kg (2,976 lbs.) dry weight. Even with the attention to weight the Huayra still manages to have an interior reminiscent of a Versace cathedral presided over by Louis Vuitton. Bring your checkbook because the Huayra will set you back about $1.4 million – without tax of course.

Samsung 3 Proof Memory Cards Whether you’re trekking through the Savannah or just want to ensure that the photos from your kid’s birthday party don’t meet an ugly demise, these Samsung 3 Proof Memory Cards have your back. Available in 8GB and 16GB capacities, they are waterproof, shock proof, and magnet proof, all while offering Class 10 speed to ensure that they can keep up with even the fastest of shooters. Oh, and the brushed metal body doesn’t hurt, either. Price: $18-$30

Hot Wheels RC Nitro Speeders Remember the days when you’d actually have to push on your Hot Wheels to get them to move? It appears those days are gone, thanks to Hot Wheels RC Nitro Speeders. Powered by dual 30,000 RPM motors, these tiny RC cars come with a controller that doubles as both a charger and carrying case, and can reach scale speeds of up to 600 mph. Several models are available, including a Mustang, Camaro, and our favorite, the Ken Block Ford Fiesta Rally Car. Price: $20-35

GAMEREVIEW OF TWISTED METAL By Jesse Campana - @FaNG_I3aNGeR

9.5 out of 10 VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

Console: PS3 Rating: M Developers: Eat Sleep Play

It does not take more than getting into the first cut scene of Twisted Metal for you to realize that you are about to be on one crazy, sick, and sadistic ride! Twisted Metal is the fourth installment of what is now the longest running PlayStation franchise with sixteen years in the books. Twisted Metal heads need not be disappointed in what this new title has to offer because it should defiantly live up to their expectations. In Twisted Metal’s story mode, you are playing as three characters (Mr. Grimm, Sweet Tooth, and Doll Face) that each has a unique and sadistic wish. In order to receive their wish, they have to win Calypso’s deadly competition that consists of racing and demolition derbies. In this game, you can choose any unlocked vehicle for your character unlike the other titles where you had to be a specific character to have certain vehicles. Every chapter becomes increasingly harder. The story can be very frustrating at times, but it will keep you wanting to try over and over

until you beat it. I’d say a dedicated gamer could beat the story mode in less than a day. The cut scenes were a tad bit graphic for my taste, but they added an interesting story to the game. The multiplayer feature is what makes this game so much fun. There are variations of game modes from your typical Team Deathmatch to a new game mode called Nuke, where you race to abduct the opposing factions team leader in order to use him as a sacrifice that will missile launch into a statue being held by a helicopter. After completing this process three times, your faction wins. There are tons of unlockable cars and guns online to keep you playing for hours, but they could have done away with the obnoxious auto lock target system. A great three chapter story mode and variation to multiplayer games will leave you spending countless hours on a game that is loads of fun. Word of advice, do not skip the titles at the end! There is a final cut scene and trophy awaiting you!

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

Q What Q: do you call d a blonde mother-inlaw? A: An air bag. A Q: How is a Q marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get A used to it, it’s not sso hot. Q: What Q do you call d a sheep in Wales? W A: Screwed! A

FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

Unlocking The Door One night, a man and his lady friend were about to enter his apartment, when, before he could open the door, she said, “Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door.” The man says, “Well, give me some examples.” The lady explains, “Well, if a guy shoves his key in the lock, and opens the door hard, then that means he is a rough lover and that isn’t for me. If a man fumbles around and can’t seem to find the hole, then that means he is inexperienced, and that isn’t for me either.” Then she said, “How do you unlock your door?” The man answered, “Well, before I do anything else, I lick the lock…”

PISCES P FFebruary 19 – March 20 TThis will be the week that you receive yyour last kiss ever. What’s truly sad is you will live for another 150 years. ARIES A March 21 – April 19 M IIt’s t time you stop lying to yourself: you sstill believe that you’re the last great rapper in Dallas, when in fact you are just drunk at the karaoke contest. TTAURUS April 20 – May 20 A You will be recognized by the Dallas Y Morning News as the person who put M “club” back in Bridge Club.

BLITZ FUNNYS

Hookers Need Barcode Tattoos Remember Dominique Strauss-Kahn, International Monetary Fund chief and French presidential hopeful; investigated by police, May 14, 2011, accused by a midtown (NY) hotel maid of forced oral sex? Now, nine-months later, he’s accused of using “inappropriate funds” to purchase prostitutes. While prostitution is legal in France, profits are monitored. Strauss-Kahn’s attorney, Henri Leclerc, explained his client did not know the women at his orgy were prostitutes, adding, “...I challenge you to distinguish a naked prostitute from any other woman”.

Better to Buy A Poll-Vault What kills on average 15,000 Indians (inside India) each year? Auto accidents? Heart disease? AIDS? Nope. Folks trying to simply cross railroad tracks. A recent government committee found the world’s fourth-largest railroad system ignored safety, is never willing to cooperate and/or make improvements. He Was Aiming For Disaster The Huffington Post tells of Michael Harper, 36, whose bladder-control timing caused an explosion, which not only severely burned his body, but also knocked out electricity to 2,000 homes and caused $42,000 in damages. That’s because, after Harper broke into a UK power plant, hoping to steal anything to support his heron habit, he urinated on a terminal, causing a huge explosion.

GEMINI G May 21 – June 21 M TThe stars agree that the universe’s motion shapes your destiny, yet m absolutely nothing of interest will happen to you this week.

VIRGO V August 23 – September 22 A Your sense of humor will be called Y iinto in n question when you decide to wear your nametag over your crotch at work.

SAGITTARIUS S November 22 – December 21 N You will receive a politely worded Y lletter le e from the AARP asking you to help make the world a better place by shutting the f*ck up.

CANCER C JJune 22 – July 22 TThis week everyone wants to earn yyour favor. This is because you are filling in for Judge Judy.

LLIBRA September 23 – October 22 S All meaning will disappear in your A lillife i when you discover the truth about Milli and Vanilli.

CAPRICORN C December 22 – January 19 D All the elements of a perfect storm A arise when you are caught on video a surveillance with duct tape, a goat and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

LLEO JJuly 23 – August 22 LLeo predictions have been discontinued this week due to the d death of the last Leo held in captivity this past Tuesday.

SCORPIO S October 23 – November 21 O Your dreams of cashing in on the Y nnext big thing will crumble when it is announced that they’re talking about penis enlargements.

ACROSS: 1. Stockpile 6. Container weight 10. Quick 14. Concur 15. By mouth 16. Countertenor 17. Of a pelvic bone 18. Skin disease 19. Put away 20. The audience of a newspaper 22. Small slender gull 23. Excluding 24. Hirsute 26. Spite 30. Plank 32. Severe pain 33. Absolute 37. Satyr 38. Agile Old World viverrine

39. Chocolate cookie 40. Uneducated person 42. Self-reproach 43. Harps 44. Get cozy 45. Contemptuous look 47. French for “Good” 48. Sun 49. Greatness 56. Magma 57. Storage cylinder 58. African virus 59. Distinctive flair 60. Burden 61. Santa’s helpers 62. Whip mark 63. Where a bird lives 64. Foliate

AQUARIUS A January 20 – February 18 Ja Avoid confrontation with co-workers A this week by bringing an AR-15 to th work.

DOWN: 1. Found on most heads 2. Leer at 3. Diva’s solo 4. Absorb written material 5. Propriety 6. Browned bread 7. Eyebrow shape 8. Hindu princess 9. Pachyderm 10. Fussy 11. Change 12. Tale 13. Small city 21. Caviar 25. Arrive (abbrev.) 26. Wise men 27. All excited 28. Give temporarily 29. Narrow-minded 30. Incentive

31. Is endebted to 33. A territorial unit of Greece 34. Fortitude 35. Satan’s territory 36. Carry 38. A fortified military post 41. Type of whiskey 42. Refined 44. Neither ___ 45. Not fresh 46. Pertaining to the oceans 47. Promote 48. Killed 50. Not yours 51. Add 52. Competent 53. Exploded star 54. Musical staff symbol 55. Not difficult

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

THE CLOSER

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 25

GROWING WITH THE FORCE APPRECIATING PHANTOM MENACE FROM A KID’S PERSPECTIVE By Joe Stumpo – www.darthstumpo.com

S Alpha King Pale Ale Brewed by: Three Floyds Brewing Company ABV: 6.00% This is Three Floyds flagship brew. It pours solid amber with a yellowish tan head. It has good retention and great lacing. The aroma is heavy on citrus and malt. It has fresh earthy hops with bold character. The pine and citrus notes come through nicely. This beer is medium bodied and well balanced. Pair it with Asian cuisine and you’re good to go.

Acid 5 Torpedo Wrapper: Connecticut Binder: Nicaragua Filler: Nicaragua Strength: Mild-Medium The golden brown wrapper is smooth with no noticeable veins and is complemented by the ACID band. It’s a very aromatic smoke with the green and black tea flavors tingling the palate initially. The spices are unobtrusive and pleasant throughout. This mild smoke is definitely worth a try.

Thug Passion Ingredients: 2 oz Alize liqueur 2 oz Louis Roederer Champagne Mixing Instructions: Shake ingredients over ice and serve.

o much for my promising to not see Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) in 3D. February 20, 2012 will be in the words of Darth Vader from Star Wars – Episode IV: A New Hope (1977), “a day long remembered” as it marked the first time I opted to sit through a blockbuster film that I knew would not look good in 3D simply because it was never meant for that process to begin with. My reason for seeing Phantom Menace was not the result of creator/director George Lucas waving his imaginary hand

through the use of that famous Jedi Mind trick in which he says, “You WILL gladly shell out your hard earned money to see my re-released movie in 3D.” Nor did I awake Monday morning to find myself face to face with Darth Maul standing over my bed threatening to slice me in half with his double-sided lightsaber. The one and only justification for my seeing Episode I again on the big screen was because I took my five-year-old nephew, Jake, to see it who, up until then had never seen the film but is vaguely familiar with the Star Wars universe thanks to all the toy merchandising. For much of those two-and-a-half hours I was worried Jake would get bored sitting there and tell me midway through that he wanted to go to the theater lobby to play video games. To my surprise, Jake sat there glued to the screen. He was as happy as a clam chomping down on his kid’s pack of popcorn, hot dog, sprite, some fruit snacks and a bag of cookies he brought from home and only once in a while taking off those bothersome black 3D sunglasses for a few seconds before putting them back on. I didn’t have to ask Jake why he liked The Phantom Menace after it was over. I already knew the answer and it had nothing to do with the film’s intergalactic politics, Jar Jar Binks’ annoying comedic antics or the microscopic life forms called “midi-chlorians.” Jake’s positive reaction to the movie had to do more with his watching those

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pod races on Tatooine, Jedi Knights slicing apart mindless battle droids and seeing a black and red tattooed horn-rimmed devil show off his double-sided lightsaber in battle. It’s the same reaction I got when I first saw Star Wars back in August 1977. As a kid going into second grade I did not care if the science fiction story made any sense to me. I just wanted to see the good guys and bad guys engage in a lot of laser battles whether it was in the corridors of the Death Star or in outer space. Jake’s fascination with the film’s visual

effects got me thinking once again how the Star Wars movies were never made so much for adults as they were for young kids. This isn’t the first time I got that impression. When a friend of mine and I saw Phantom Menace back in 1999, he called the film “the best Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie” ever made for youngsters. As I walked in for the second Saturday morning of the animated Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) at theaters opening weekend, I took note how excited the young moviegoers got as they walked out following the first showing. I heard one kid yell, “That was awesome!” as I walked in. The minute the end credits rolled, I could hear the audience cheering and needless to say, the applause was not so much coming from the parents and adults as it was from the kids. It only clarifies what Lucas said in a May 1999 interview at www.gaurdian. co.uk saying how the Star Wars movies “were intended for 12 – and 13-yearolds.” Here we are thirteen years later after its original release and the die-hard fans still can’t forgive the father of The Force for creating Jar Jar Binks and giving them a prequel trilogy that in their minds despite being big on computer generated effects was emotionally empty. As Jar Jar Binks would say, “How wude.”

Name: Kristy Jones How you know her: Givenchy’s Goddess. The marvelous maven meticulously making makeup magnificent (dare you say that three times fast). File her name under people that don’t suck. Describe your job at Givenchy My job with Givenchy is basically if a makeup artist, a trainer, and a manager overseeing four states... had a baby. LOL I wear many different hats. I oversee my accounts at Sephora, travel like crazy from state to state training and teaching on products and how to use them, and am a featured artist in events nationwide. For example, next week I’ll be in Knoxville, Tennessee teaching a tiny class of five, and the day after I’ll be filming a video in New York. Just call me a traveling circus and follow my trail of glitter... What’s the coolest part of your job? I would have to say the travel and the opportunity to meet so many people from EVERY walk of life. Each city I go to has a culture of it’s own, a different fashion sense, a unique way of life I get to be a part of briefly. One thing you totally kick ass in I’d have to say executing a great makeup application. It’s my passion and I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so I will make sure it flawless. From beauty to fashion to drag to just crazy... I make sure it’s perfect! OH and taking weird, old objects and turning them into decorations! I’ve made a fork and spoon chandelier, a vintage birdcage curtain, an old TV jewelry box... and so on. I guess with both of these “talents,” and a lot of things in life, I see what could be, not what’s present. Three things you can’t live without Makeup Nutella My sister Karla. (Go ahead... say: AWWW!!!!!)

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FEBRUARY 29 – MARCH 6, 2012

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