Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

ON DECK

Dallas Polo Club

WARTIME WAGERS By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

LE A R N T O P L AY P O L O

“So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.” - Sun Tzu’s Art of War

SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Bad Boys Bad Boys 3 St. Patty’s Day Parties 4 Green Fashion 5 Mavericks News 6 Stars News 7 NCAA News 7 Know Your Bracket 8 Bracket Breakdown 8 BLITZ BABE OF THE WEEK Candi 12 BLITZ ENTERTAINMENT Laidback Luke 13 Seven Things in Seven Days 13 Restaurant Review 14 Plastic Not So Fantastic 14 Hollywood Shuffle 15 Hollywood Profile 15 Movie Review 15 Auto Review 16 Gadgets 16 Joystick 16 BLITZ FUNNYS Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 THE CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 Double Standards 18 2-Minute Drill 18 Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor C. Patterson Graphic Designer Damien Mayfield Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photo by Darryl Briggs Cover Design by Damien Mayfield Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

Staff Writers Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, David Goodspeed, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith, Jesse Whitman Contributing Photographers Jonathan Brown, Dominic Ceraldi, Cristiano Gatti, Amber Karnes, Matthew Lynch, John Murray, Laurent Jean Philippe, Bucky Skeel, Blake Zipoy, J squared Photography Contributing Writers Cote Bailey, Sonny Capps, Scott Free, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mateeka Lanee, Aeryn Ripley, Joe Stumpo, Quick Steve, Blake Zipoy

ere in North Texas we spend plenty game changer.” of time talking Cowboys. We debate Well, for Washington’s sake he better be. the merits and the deficiencies of our This is a bold move by Coach Mike Shanahometown team so often that it has han, but maybe it was the right move. Over turned into a continuous drone across the the past 19 seasons, the Redskins have Metroplex. And although we are well within started 21 QBs and have only three playoff our rights to talk blue and silver, we must take games to show for it. Playing in a division the time to speculate on our rivals. with Tony Romo, Michael Vick and Eli ManThe Washington Redskins have been the ning is tough enough, but it’s impossible to arch nemesis of the Cowboys since the 1960 compete without strength in that position. series began. And throughout our combined So what does this mean for Cowboy fans? history, there have been Well, for now we need to plenty of trades and upfocus during free agency sets to ensure trash talking period. Cornerback Terthe next day. But just this ence Newman is probably past weekend, Washingeither going to move on or ton upped the ante. They take a pay cut to remain a hedged their bets and their Cowboy and back-up QB, future on a young Heisman John Kitna, recently retrophy winner from Waco. tired. We’ll need a player Washington and St. with experience to fill his Louis have a deal to move position. During the draft the Redskins into the #2 I’ll guess that Mr. Jones overall spot in next month’s will also be looking at draft. Washington is prewide receivers and inside pared to give up three first linebackers too. I hope round selections. Did you that we’re building a team hear that? They are giving that will be contenders in up this year’s #6 overall the coming years as RGIII spot, plus their first round matures in Washington. picks in 2013 and 2014. Honestly, by the time But wait, there’s more! the free agency period They will be throwing in and the draft are over a second-round pick this everything could change. year in the swap if the NFL Peyton Manning may approves it. have finished with his It’s obvious they see handshakes across Amerigreat promise in Robert ca tour and picked a team Griffin III. The quarterback to sign with. RGIII could breathed life into a strugdecide to make education gling team that hadn’t enhis life’s work and call it joyed a winning season in quits (fingers crossed!). the Big 12 until he arrived. But as we watch how evThe man led his team out erything plays out watch Photo Courtesy: Matthew Lynch of a 20-year draught and our rivals. Study them and helped bring them a bowl win. And just to take notes. I’m not expecting the Cowboys to add a bit of anecdotal data, when my friend win a hundred games without a single loss, Robby tried to explain RGIII’s allure, he said, but I am looking for a trip to the playoffs and “When you see him, you just know he’s a a shot at the Lombardi Trophy.

BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

YAY, YOU’RE FAMOUS!

SO YOUR CELLMATES WILL KNOW YOUR NAME!

Malibu Meltdown Kill Bill star Michael Maden wishes he had that Hattori Hanzo sword to fight off the cops after he was arrested for suspicion of felony child endangerment in Malibu last week. The incident stemmed from a family dispute at Maden’s home involving himself and his juvenile son. The altercation turned physical and Maden turned from an actor to a felon – allegedly.

NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

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C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

Total Frat Move @totalfratmove

I Thought The Hunger Games was another cooking show. RainnWilson @rainnwilson

“Boards don’t hit back” - Bruce Lee #EntertheDragon

Dead Men Tell No Tales The saying is that “dead men tell no tales,” but they do owe taxes. Deceased rapper Heavy D walked through the pearly gates owning Uncle Sam and the State of California $43,967.87 (they just had to add on the .87 cents huh?). Heavy passed away last November at the age of 44 while planning a comeback whose profits would have almost immediately gone to the 2008 and 2009 liens. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

ST. PATRICK’ S DAY CELEBRATE LIKE A BLITZ WEEKLY PARTY ANIMAL By Frank LaCosta – flacosta@blitzweekly.com This Saturday is the one-day of the year that we can be Irish! There will be plenty of good times to be had and there is only one rule for the day: WEAR GREEN! From the early morning till late in the evening parties will be going on and here is the guide to help you navigate. So don your attire, get the right attitude and hit the streets. We look forward to seeing you out and about.

GREENVILLE AVENUE ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE – The granddaddy of all the events. It’s the one constant in the Metroplex since 1979 and is one of the largest St. Patrick’s Day parades in the southwest. Show up along the parade route as early as possible to take in all the floats and mayhem. St. Mark Cuban stepped up big time with a $40,000 contribution to ensure that the tradition will continue. Definitely worth attending! WEST END PUB – westendpubdallas.net – The

neighborhood pub without the neighborhood has been taking care of downtown Dallas residents for over two decades. Be there for the live music by Chameleon at 9:30pm. They have your Pot’o Gold of drink specials with $1 off all green bottled beers, St. Pat’s Shot Specials, Cocktails and Irish Coffee.

DUKE’S ORIGINAL ROADHOUSE

– dukesoriginalroadhouse.com – Head over to the mother ship in Addison. The best part: No Cover! Wake up early for the green eggs and ham, have some green beer, take in live bands all day long and their annual “Biggest Green Thing” competition. Trust us, at Duke’s it’s where your friends are!

MCFADDEN’S – mcfaddensaddison.com – The newest party spot in Addison has it going on bright and early with their kegs and eggs. Throughout the day you can meet the leprechauns, participate in the Blarney Stone competition, live bands, prizes throughout the day and the event of the evening: the Blitz Weekly create-your-own green bikini contest. BLACKFINN DALLAS – blackfinndallas.com – Party at the Finn is the theme and here’s why: excellent drink specials, the live band and a great patio. Plus lots of hotties make this a wonderful choice to celebrate your luck! VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

By Lauren Aiken - www.LaurenAiken.com Green isn’t a flattering color on everyone, but you don’t have to wear green to go green. Today, there are a multitude of options for the environmentally conscious consumer. You can dress your bed in organic sheets, clean your house with chemical-free products, opt for eco-tourism and recycled jewelry, and even purchase hemp collars for your dog. So why not work the green trend into your wardrobe as well? I’m not saying you need to sport a bamboo shirt, hemp pants and vegan shoes 24/7, but you could start by introducing organic cotton to your closet. Unlike traditional cotton, organic cotton is grown using methods that have a low impact on the environment, and the production of it helps cut down on the use of toxic pesticides and synthetic fertilizers. Many designers are jumping on the green bandwagon, and you don’t have to search too far to find a variety of eco-clothing retailers online that offer organic t-shirts and pants, grooming products and accessories made of recycled materials. Here are some easy eco-friendly options to get you started:

99 Bottles of Beer… in my Backpack

Made from recycled plastic bottles, the Targus Spruce EcoSmart Backpack from Clean Spirited is designed to hold a laptop up to 15.6” and has compartments for your iPod and other essentials. The case features nickel-free hardware and recyclable components, and its padded back and adjustable straps allow for a customized fit. $1 from every purchase is donated to environmental causes. $70. www.cleanspirited.com.

Bring Your Crew Life’s a Beech

With excellent stitching and detail, and a material the gals won’t be able to take their hands off, the Crossover Hoodie from 4-rth is a versatile piece that fits like a glove. Handmade in Los Angeles from custom Modal fabric (natural fibers derived from Beech Wood), the hoodie is softer than cotton and more durable. The green zipper is sustainably manufactured, too! Comes in heather gray, blue and black. $64. www.4-rth.com.

Founded in 1992 on the premise that workers should be treated ethically and clothing should be durable, affordable and sustainable, Maggie’s Organics is a great place to start shopping for eco-friendly apparel. This Value Pak includes six pairs of socks (86% certified organic) made in the USA at family owned mills in North Carolina. Choose from white or black crew socks or footies. $30. www.maggiesorganics.com.

Get Eco-Inked

Most guys are dirtballs, so mine as well wear the label! (Kidding! Sort of…) The Dirtball All Star Tee from Dirtball Fashion is crew cut and made of 65% recycled cotton and 35% post-consumer polyester. It’s also printed with water-based and thilate-free ink, making it 100% ecofriendly. Get this: Each shirt contains seven 16 oz. water bottles! Comes in black, blue, grey, red and white. $24. www.dirtballfashion.com.

Hemp is for Hippies!

When you think of hemp, you probably think of marijuana. But the fact is, THC levels in industrial hemp are generally so low that no one could get high from smoking it (or wearing it). Soft and breathable, the hemp/ organic cotton blend Migration shirt from Patagonia is light and airy for comfort in warm weather. Includes two chest pockets and subtle shirttail hem with splits at the sides. Comes in three colors. $59. www.REI.com.

Fruit of the Loom

Organic cotton isn’t just for tees! Show your bottom half some love with the 100% organic straight leg Fabian Chino pant from Loomstate, a company that was launched in New York City in 2004 as a casual brand dedicated to creating a demand for certified organic cotton using socially and environmentally responsible production methods. Colors include blue, brown, charcoal, green, khaki and stone. $156. www.Loomstate.org. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27 Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 3/15 BOBCATS 7:30 P.M. 3/17 SPURS 8:00 P.M. 3/19 @ NUGGETS 9:30 P.M.

TOUGHING IT OUT MAVS FIGHT THROUGH ROUGH PATCH By Geoff Case – @geoffcase

he Dallas Mavericks finally finished Mark Cuban didn’t give him one because a brutal stretch of nine games in 12 the Mavs are looking to clear out as much nights Saturday at Golden State and cap space as possible to make a run at free it couldn’t have come quick enough. agents this summer. Terry, 34, could be playThe Mavericks have been running on empty ing his final season in Dallas. It’s all merely the last three games with numerous air balls, speculation at this point but you have to wonmissed defensive assignments, and dead der if he’s talking about trading a teammate legs. “We’re just not playing well enough or saying he wants to be moved. to win games,” Mavericks’ forward Lamar Again, the Mavs probably had this date Odom said. “The chemistry is not there right circled as the lowest point of their season now. We’ll pick it up; when the lockout shortthis is a veteran team. ened schedule was reSometimes you have to leased. The next move take your lumps. We can for the Mavs needs to be bounce back.” The Mavregrouping and finishericks had to assume they ing the season strong. would hit the skids during Head coach Rick Carlisle this brutal stretch especialdoesn’t seem too conly with a veteran heavy cerned with Mavericks squad. The brutal schedstruggles of late. He beule and an understandlieves the veterans will ing coach didn’t seem to come together when the shield the team from the season is on the line. frustration from some of “Our guys care, they the players. In fact, some care about winning and of the comments are quite they understand what alarming for a team that produces winning” said relied on their chemistry Carlisle. “I don’t have to win the NBA title last any concerns about anyseason. With the trade body fragmenting or anydeadline approaching thing like that.” on Thursday afternoon, Photo Courtesy: Darryl Briggs The good news is the Jason Terry was asked he Mavs returned home this if he would make a change. week to begin a much needed home stand “I would,” Terry said. “But again, I’m not with two of the worst teams in the league. management or ownership.” Terry said that if a change in the team’s Tuesday they faced the Washington Wizards personnel isn’t made then a change in how and on Thursday they welcome the Charlotte Bobcats. They need to come out on fire and it’s playing must happen soon. “I don’t know about the frustration level, get their heads right to make the final push to but it’s time for a change,” Terry said. “You make the playoffs. They simply do not have can only look at something for so long and any other options at this point of the season. you’re getting the same results. At what point NOTES: Jason Kidd was given the night off are you going to change?” After a tough loss you’ve got to take play- against Golden State and was not in uniform. er’s comments with a grain of salt but out- “It was the right move to sit him,” Carlisle wardly saying that you think the team needs said. “It’s tough to play without him but we to make a move isn’t something that they take have to look at it on a big picture basis.” lightly. Looking at those comments you won- Jason Terry played in his 1,000th game, der about where Jason Terry’s head is. Terry becoming the 17th active player to do so. is having a tough season and is in the final Brendan Haywood missed his fourth game year of his contract and had hoped for an with a sprained ankle with no set timetable extension before the season started. Owner for his return.

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012 Photo Courtesy: Dominic Ceraldi

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 3/14 @ JETS 7:30 P.M. 3/16 BLACKHAWKS 7:30 P.M. 3/20 COYOTES 7:00 P.M.

A PERFECT TEN!

IT’S DANCING TIME

THE STAR CONTINUE THEIR HOT STREAK

DANCE LESSONS 101 AND 102

By Tony Barone – tbarone@blitzweekly.com

By Sonny Capps – hhhup88@gmail.com

he Dallas Stars continue what can only be described as a miraculous run over the last three weeks. The Stars hit rock bottom in a loss to the Nashville Predators 3-2 on February 19. Since that game the Stars have gone 9-0-1 and amassed 19 out of a possible 20 points to jump into a three-point lead over the Phoenix Coyotes in the Pacific Division and the third-seed in the playoffs. The Stars were nine points out of 1st place in the Division and sitting in ninth place in the conference and out of playoff contention when this point streak started. This is the longest point streak the franchise has seen in eight seasons from a team that, with the exception of its goaltending, was giving its fans no hope for a post season run after starting the season 11-3. The resurgence is the result of continued stellar performances from their net minders, as well as, superb play from its special teams. Stars Goalie Kari Lehtonen is 7-0-1 with 1.45 goals against average and .950 save percentage in his last eight starts. The Big Fin has established himself as an elite NHL Goalie this season. “The last three weeks we’ve been playing real solid and everybody has been helping me out. I’ve been trying to do the same. It’s just fun when you can get wins,” Lehtonen said. “With every win it gets more exciting. Guys are smiling and working hard. It’s just a great time of the year to be in it.” The Stars have outscored the competition 34-15 during their 10-game point streak while stopping 30 of 31 opposition power plays. “That’s just commitment from those guys,” Coach Glen Gulutzan said of the Stars penalty killers. Stars captain Brenden Morrow made an impact in his first game in more than a month, scoring a power play goal in a 2-0 win over the Anaheim Ducks. “It feels good. I was a little nervous to make sure it didn’t screw things up with the way the

team was playing and rolling,” Morrow said. “Kari (Lehtonen) made sure I didn’t do that sitting in the penalty box three times.” The Stars are “finding ways to win games”, some of these W’s have not exactly been pretty. Against San Jose, the Sharks put 48 shots on goal and Lehtonen

Photo Courtesy: Dominic Ceraldi

stopped 45 of them, plus five more in the shootout win. That is also what you call “leaning hard on your goaltender,” and thankfully Richard Bachman got the start in Vancouver two nights before so that Kari was rested for the game. As the crowd empties from the American Airlines Center after home games during this run, there is an electricity that hasn’t been present in a very long time. There is still a lot of hockey left to play with 13 regular season games remaining, but hockey playoff fever is finally back in Dallas -- and there’s absolutely nothing that could be better for Stars fans.

he NCAA Tournament director Jeff Hathaway said, “Syracuse and Kentucky are clearly better than every other team in the nation..” a lot of the top seeds (1-4) are pretty easy to guess and place, the lacing and bracket partners they face in the later rounds is where the tremendous debates come in for the tournament committee (Just a note: Syracuse gets dumped in its 1st conference tournament game by the unranked Cincinnati Bearcats). Kentucky loses to Vanderbilt another unranked team in the SEC final by seven. Not to forget, but #17 Florida State not only put Duke down Saturday, but takes out North Carolina Sunday in the ACC final. Kansas loses to #11 Baylor in the Big 12 semis as well. So much for all the super powers making a showing prior to the Dance, I’m

1st round pairing, #9 seed, advancing 53 percent of the time. If you’re playing the percentages in your pickings, that’s one not to be over looked. Round 2, here’s where the tournament committee shows it knows how to create parity and interesting matchups with the three-week journey. Not as simple, #1 seeds still have a high 87 percent chance of making it to the next week, #2 only 65 percent, and the #3 carries a dismal 51 percent chance of advancement. You can see the reasoning behind this by looking at the brackets, once past your patsy, round 2 will most likely hold a viable opponent who’s just as hungry and wanting to advance as you are. Keep these stats in mind as you’re filling out your sheets. Don’t try to be some guru picking some high school team that

sure this will help create just a little more confusion in the selection placement this year. Placement of the tourney once set is what creates the interesting matchups in the first and second set of games. Making your bracket and office pool selections for these rounds are fairly easy with the top 4 seeds, when you get into the meat of the seedlings (5-12) this is where the upsets and dark horses loom. From 19852011 the #1 seed has never lost in round 1, the #2 seed only having four loses and #3 seed posting 16 first round loses. For the most part these seeds will advance to the second round. The 4th-7th seeds average about two wins out of every games. And from the 8th seed on down, well it’s just the inverse as they are matched in round one with the higher seeds. Interest note here, the #8 seed only advances 47 percent of the time to round 2. But their

got placement by default, as Jimmy the Greek said “stick with the money, long shots are for suckers.” Regional pairing this year will the best there has been in a while, as you’ve seen this year and in the conference tourneys – any and ALL can be beat. In my opinion, Kentucky is suspect, if they make it past regionals they will have their hands full most likely. UNC, KU, and Syracuse have some size and the ability to make a 6-0 run for the title, but all are subject to an upset the second week. My dark horse will be Memphis if they are seeded 8th or lower. Think you can pick’em? You want bragging rights? Send me an email of your 1st and 2nd round picks no later than Thursday 10am (CST), I’ll match my first two rounds against you. WARNING! You’re not dealing with a novice here.

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MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

KNOW YOUR OFFICE

BRACKET PUT ON YOUR DANCING SHOES By Scott Free - @Blitzweekly

The Break Room Analyst

These are your ESPN ticker junkies who have memorized every box score stat since Midnight Madness. They believe they can accurately predict the winners by remember what Skip Bayless said this morning.

The Bracket Bombshell

They sure are beautiful, but they sure are dumb. They pick the team based off of “pretty colors” and “I like that mascot.” The funny is that their final results always wind up a little better then yours.

The Office Cheat

These sniveling, sneaky, shark-like bottom feeders make horrible picks then when no one is looking attempt to change their bracket. And when you catch them and threaten to beat the hell out of ‘em people tell you, “calm down it’s just a game.” A*sholes.

The Lucky Bastard

These guys are the ones with the cloverwrapped horseshoe shoved up their butts because despite their lack of basketball knowledge or even hand-eye coordination for that matter always…always…always win the office pool.

YOUR REGIONAL BRACKET BREAKDOWN

By David Trowbrige – www.rattleandhumsports.com

THE MIDWEST //

The North Carolina Tar Heels held out and took the number one seed for the Midwest Region and will be going against some hot underdogs teams for their start of the tournament once the first week is over. They will play either Lamar or University of Vermont, which in most people’s minds will be an easy win due to the Tar Heels overall experience and dominance in their current season. The team was on a 9-0 run up until their final game of the season again Florida State, which also gave them an earlier loss in the year. Coach Roy Williams is no amateur to the tournament, with a total of two Championships with his Tar Heels in 2005 and 2009. North Carolina has one of the best combo players in Guard Kendall Marshall, seven-foot Tyler Zeller, and 6’11 John Henson as they bash the boards and hit the lanes, but don’t forget about UNC’s strong bench; Guard P.J. Hairston and 6’9” Forward James Michael McAdoo. Some had a bit of slump in the last game vs FSU, but don’t make any bets against them com tournament time, with what I see as a no brainer first few rounds. The 29-5 North Carolina team lives for the tournament and its almost an expectation that they do well every year, pressure is on boys.

By Dic Humphrey – www.rattleandhumsports.com

THE SOUTH //

Kentucky lost to Vanderbilt in Sunday’s SEC championship game, but the NCAA selection committee was undeterred. They made Kentucky (32-2) the overall number one seed in this year’s tournament. The only debate was whether to place Kentucky in the South or Midwest regions. Geographically, the Wildcats are about equidistant from regional sites Atlanta and St. Louis. In the end, committee chairman Jeff Hathaway explained, “We believe their true region was the South, and as the true number one seed, we wanted to put them in their true region.” Once that was decided, the placement of two seed Duke into the South was essentially a slam dunk. It was 20 years ago that Duke beat Kentucky to claim the East Regional championship and earn a trip to the Final Four. The game is thought by many to be the greatest game in the history of college basketball, certainly the greatest in the history of the NCAA Tournament, and the game winning shot from Christian Laettner is known simply as “the shot”. Could it happen again? Stranger things have happened, and if it does, Kentucky will be favored to avenge that 1992 loss. Teams of local interest in the South include Big XII members Baylor (27-2) as the three seed and eight seed Iowa State (22-10).

By Tommy Smith - tsmith@blitzweekly.com

THE EAST //

The Syracuse Orange nailed down the one seed in the east giving them the opportunity to stay close to home throughout the regional finals. Head Coach Jim Boehiem led the ‘Cuse to a 31-2 overall record and a 17-1 Big East Conference record. That earned the Orange another Big East regular season title and, despite losing to Cincinnati in their conference tournament’s semi-final, Syracuse retains the number one seed in the east. The Orange is lead by sophomore guard Dion Waiters 12 ppg, and senior forward Kris Joseph 13.8 ppg. Syracuse is solid inside with sevenfoot center Fab Melo and big man C.J. Fair controlling the paint. The Orange is used to being the hunted in the NCAA tournament and this year is no different. The other contenders in the east consist of #2 Ohio State, #3 Florida State, #4 Wisconsin and #5 Vanderbilt. If somebody is going to knock the Orange out it is going to come from this group. Wisconsin or Vanderbilt will most likely get the first shot at the ‘Cuse, as the winner of that possible four vs. five game will face Syracuse in the region’s semi-finals March 22.

By Tommy Smith - tsmith@blitzweekly.com

THE WEST //

The Michigan State Spartans solidified themselves as the last number one seed in the 2012 NCAA Men’s Division I Basketball Championship Tournament with their 68-64 win over Ohio State in the Big Ten Conference Tournament Finals Sunday. Sparty finished the season 27-7 and parts of a three-way tie for the Big Ten Conference title with the Buckeyes and the Michigan Wolverines. Michigan State headlines the bill in the West Region of the big dance along with #2 Missouri and a cast of sneaky characters looking to make some noise. Head Coach Tom Izzo has the Spartans in the tournament for the 26th time. Michigan State is a perennial contender and has been to the final four eight times. The Spartans won the title in 2000 under the leadership of guard Matten Cleaves, who reminded Spartan fans of a previous hero, Irvin “Magic” Johnson, who cut down the nets with Michigan State in 1979. Senior forward Draymond Green, who leads the team in both scoring at 16.2 ppg and rebounding, averaging 10.4 boards a game, paces this year’s edition of the Spartans. The offense is run by sophomore guard Keith Appling, who chips in 11.5 ppg and just under four dimes per. Michigan State will have to navigate through a bracket full of at-large bids poised to thank the committee for their consideration.

Get your y complete p bracket information at BlitzWeekly.com y and stopp byy McFadden’s to pick p upp your y BLITZ bracket for a chance to win $500 and Mavs tickets. And let us know your y picks p @BlitzWeeklyy on Twitter.

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MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

LAIDBACK LUKE: INTERNATIONAL SPINSTER Photo Courtesy: Caesar Sebastian

By Mateeka Lanee’ – teekalanee.wordpress.com

or what it’s worth, and never mind what any politician may have you believe, America has a strong sense of internationalism – in music, anyhow. From Coldplay to Rihanna, Adele to Madonna (wait, that’s a fake accent), music lovers here take pride in their knowledge of what’s new overseas, regardless of genre, if there is any matter of talent present. In club dance and electronic music, the most respected and influential heads of the game come from

outside of Border Patrol’s reach, as DJ’s and producers including David Guetta and Daft Punk continue to churn out Billboard hits, along with many whose work is considered underground. Hailing from The Netherlands, Laidback Luke is a shooting star passing – for the first time – through the 50 states on tour for his latest single, “Speak Up.” Born in the Philippines, Luke started his career in tandem with his master graffiti artist skills, until an arrest at 17 for the latter made

him decide to change paths permanently. Since the release of his first studio album in the late 90’s, he has been travelling nonstop, mixing popular songs, and working the full scope of international dance music. He’s also an activist against “substandard sounds”, waging war against fake, phony, and just plain bad music. He hosts regular “Super You&Me” parties around the world, through The Netherlands, Germany, Spain, and the U.S. to raise awareness of this rampant epidemic, where

partygoers dress up as superheroes and party to what we would like to call super-standard mixes from Luke and guest DJs. He has worked with such dance heavyweights as David Guetta and Diplo, among others. His single “Turbulence,” with the King of Crunk Lil’ Jon, has been a hit on radios worldwide, and he has mixed tracks from a variety of artists throughout his career. This spring, Laidback Luke has teamed up with New York native Wynter Gordon for the single

“Speak Up,” a high-powered anthem for the DJ’s upcoming U.S. tour. The song comes as part of a package, which is set to include mixes and mash-ups with such artists as Das Kapital, Oliver Twizt and Chris Lake, to be released in April. In the meantime, the Dutch DJ will pass through our hometown via The Lizard Lounge this Thursday, March 15th. Listen: “Speak Up” (featuring Wynter Gordon); “Turbulence” (ft. Lil’ Jon and Steve Aoki); “Natural Disaster” (ft. Example)

Photo Courtesies: Dekuwa, John Murray, Jonathan Brown, Cristiano Gatti, Dominic Ceraldi

WED. 3/14

NBA2K12 TEEN TOURNAMENT Dallas Public Library Skyline – Dallas IT’S SPRING BREAK!!! Come out and play the HOTTEST video games today. Bring your friends, meet new friends, and enjoy friendly competition. Snacks will be provided as well! See you there!11:30am.

THURS. 3/15

VINYL THOUGHTS ART SHOW 2 The Quixotic – Dallas Get ready for the next level of art in Deep Ellum. 30 local artists take inspiration from three decades of video games to create three dimensional art toys. Free admission, complimentary cocktails, free door prizes 7pm.

FRI. 3/16

HILLBILLY HANDFISHIN’ MEET & GREET Duke’s Roadhouse – Addison You’ve seen NY rock band Stone SoulFoundation on Animal Planet’s Hillbilly Handfishin’ now hear their music live at the last stop on their tour! 7pm.

SAT. 3/17

ST. MARK CUBAN’S DAY PARADE Greenville Avenue – Dallas Three cheers for the man who saved the St. Patty’s Day Parade! This parade has been part of the green fabric of DFW since 1979 and our patron saint of American Airlines Center saved it. 5pm.

SUN. 3/18

DALLAS KOSHER CHILI COOKOFF Royal Lane Baptist Church – Dallas The Annual food drive aims to fill the coffers and cabinets of the Jewish Family Service food pantry, an affiliate of the North Texas Food Bank. Eat up for a good cause. 10:30am.

MON. 3/19

MONDAY NIGHT FIGHT Caribbean Grill – Dallas Time to engage in lyrical battle. That’s right, invite Mike from accounting down to witness your freestyle fury as you transform from cubicle jockey to MC Briefcase. Mic check 1, 2, 1, 2. 10pm.

TUES. 3/20

COYOTES VS. STARS American Airlines Center – Dallas The Stars hope to get one step closer to the playoffs by sending Wile E. and his buddies home with a loss. Expect this town to catch Stars fever any day now. 7pm.

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MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

HAM N EGGS HAM IT UP FOR BREAKFAST By Blake Zipoy – @BlitzWeekly

e have all been told since we were wee little kids that “breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” The need to fill your bottomless pit after seven or eight hours of sleep certainly adds justification to this phrase. Maybe that’s why it is essential to add breakfast at Ham N Eggs in Lewisville to your bucket list.

AMBIANCE

To set the stage, when visiting Ham N Eggs, you might think it’s pretty wild – pictures and cups have their own unique style. The table clothes have a family picnic feel to them and the classic silverware conveys a sense of 70’s nostalgia. There are no hostesses. You just find an empty seat and someone will bring you your coffee. But remember, you don’t come for the décor. You come for the food.

MUST HAVES:

The short stack pancakes, SOS, Eggs Benedict, and the biscuits

WHO’S THERE:

Blue collar breakfast searchers, competitive eaters, habitual “eyes bigger than your stomach” eaters

ADDRESS:

297 W Round Grove Rd Lewisville, TX 75067 (972) 315-1155 Sunday: 7 am-2 pm Mon-Fri: 6:30 am-2 pm Saturday: 6:30 am-2 pm

FOOD

Their ham steak is what they are famous for – and for good reason. The steak comes out as thick as your index finger, which for a big guy like me is pretty darn thick. I got to take a look as the cook carved enough meat to feed a small village off a huge ham bone. They then slap that sucker on a flat skillet and grill the steak to tender heaven. If ham is not what you are looking for, try the chicken fried steak. A tender piece of meat, breaded light and smothered in homemade cream gravy. Have a lady friend who is looking for something a little lighter? They offer Eggs Benedict (if you can believe it), migas and a slew of omelet choices. My wife is a particularly big fan of the Eggs Benedict. All really good choices, but like I said, the ham is what really makes the trip worth it. Add some crispy home fries, grits and eggs

Photo Courtesy: Blake Zipoy

sunny-side or over-easy, and you have a good start. Ham N Eggs is known for big portions. With most meals, you get a fresh baked biscuit that I am not kidding is about the size of your head. (A hint: I always take mine home and the wife makes a killer bread pudding from it. I’m just saying.) To top it all off, you have to indulge in one last coronary treat. Order the short stack. I would not even bother with the full stack because like everything at Ham N Eggs, the cakes are bigger than a hubcap on a 1966 Buick. Imagine a normal pancake that you would get at say, IHOP, and magnify it by 20. The stack doesn’t even fit on the plate they serve them on. And the

cakes come thick and fluffy with a glob of butter melting down the middle. My advice is to order the stack for the table and let everyone dig in. Then employ my secret strategy by starting at the center and working your way out. The cakes are so thick; syrup seems to dissipate as soon as you pour it.

BLITZ-WORTHY

I would give Ham N Eggs a huge “happy dude” rating. I have to tell you, no offense to all the grandmas out there, but my meal at Ham N Eggs was one of the top five breakfasts I have ever had. And I’m almost old enough to qualify for AARP. So that is saying a lot.

PLASTIC IS NOT SO FANTASTIC

lastic surgery! It congers a number of things to mind, but like all double-edged blades it can cut for both good and bad. Technically, it is a medical specialty that restores both form and function, however in recent years it has become synonymous with aesthetic improvement to various degrees. A simple Google search will reveal how popular such surgical processes are, from breast augmentation (Seriously! Nobody is fooled that those gravity-defying cantaloupes are real!!) to vaginal rejuvenation (Google this one and look at the menu list of improvements your Va-jay-jay has to choose from). One begins to wonder where the line exists between form and functional improvements and the overemphasis of practices that prey upon the insecurities of wealthy narcissists. Although, who am I to judge whether your breasts are too big? You are the only one who has to live with them. They are breasts! Breasts are loved in just about any shape and

size, from Pam Anderson to Keira Knightley. It doesn’t really mean anything unless you are hedging your bets on who you think will like your enhanced bosom. And so we really come down to the meat and potatoes of this argument: the ability to change your appearance to what you think is more appealing. Heidi Montag, Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, these are the vanguard of plastic, botoxed, and augmented faces. Yet, is this any surprise? They sit at the pinnacle of necessarily flawless appearance, yet time and time again, they go from pretty, to bad, to worse. Is it just their twisted sense of self, perhaps reflected and magnified through a paparazzi prism? With too much money, unhealthy substance abuse, and a lack of perspective, we see the most beautiful of talents morph into hideous caricatures of themselves. Kenny Rodgers, Daryl Hannah, Tori Amos? Have you seen what these people have become? In their minds money can buy anything, and they

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have a*sloads of it! Yet, do they even understand that their quest for a perfect face too often results in baboon/trout lips pumped full of Drano, cheek implants, and skin stretched to the point that your original ethnicity is now called into question? No doubt, the remains of plastic surgery bio-waste will be floating in the primordial ooze long after the Apocalypse. In fact, non-biodegradable breast and cheek implants may be the only thing the cockroaches won’t touch. But it’s not all baboon lips and stretched cat faces for the rich. Plastic surgery has helped thousands of people who have suffered car accidents, mastectomies, and the unfortunate slapped with parrot beaks and donkey ears. And let’s face it, would Joan Rivers have had

any kind of career once gravity set in and plastic surgery not intervened so that she morphed into some sort of bleach blond basset hound with only her waggly jowls to set her apart from the endless stream of perpetual youth talent that is found in showbiz? I guess I am advocating moderation when it comes to plastic surgery. I have seen timeless beauties give themselves over to eager surgeons with no recourse to inherent beauty all on the promise of a more perfect smile. But I wonder who had the greater responsibility? The surgeon who carved away the perfection or the beauty who lost perspective.

Photos Courtesies: Laurent Jean Philippe, Malingering, Bucky Skeel

By Jesse Whitman - jwhitman00@gmail.com

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

HOLLYWOODPROFILE

WITH

COURTNEY GALIANO

By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

t 23 years old, So You Think You Can Dance star Courtney Galiano has conquered reality TV, moved cross-country and started her own business. Between her many jobs, she sat down to answer a few questions about her whirlwind career.

By Aeryn Ripley comments@blitzweekly.com Eddie George – Was found guilty of CUI (Cheating Under the Influence) by the court of public opinion after being in the passenger seat of 21-year-old British pro golfer Rachel Conner’s car during a DUI bust last week. George however insists that it was all just a big mistake on his part despite the incident taking place at 2am.

Joseph Kony – Is by now the most famous man on the planet. The organization Invisible Children introduced this international war criminal to over 20 million people in two days time. Every athlete and celebrity has now joined in on the viral campaign to Stop Kony under the slogan Kony 2012. Goldie Hawn – Still knows how to party. The 66-year-old granny got so bombed at the launch of her new children’s charity, The Hawn Foundation, she practically had to be carried out of the place proving once and for all nobody does it like Goldie – well except Lindsay Lohan circa 2010.

How did you get started in dance? My mom put me in dance when I was 3 years old. I think my first recital was Little Bo Peep and I literally stood on stage and looked around, like “Hi Mom!” I don’t think I danced at all. After SYTYCD, you moved from to L.A. from NYC. How was the transition? I’m a total east coaster. It was easy moving with people I did the show with because I felt like I was moving with family. I remember Adam Shankman looked at me and said, “Listen honey, either you want Broadway or you want film and TV.” And I knew I wanted film and TV. There was an article from the NYTimes doubting the abilities of dancers on SYTYCD. You’ve lived in both places, is that a fair criticism? I think they are dead wrong. I have danced in both ends of the spectrum, and to make it in NY you need to be a hustler. In that NYTimes article, I said that SYTYCD was in Radio City Music Hall and we sold out every night. So, I think SYTYCD is doing just fine in NY. How do you stay motivated and do you have advice for aspiring dancers? The second you stop learning, you stop growing. I started my own dance convention, called THE BEAT. We’ll have all the SYTYCD contestants like Twitch, Allison, William, Robert Roldan and Comfort, who is actually from Dallas. It really helps me to surround myself with amazing artists that have the drive to learn. So far, what has been the biggest highlight for you? The Glee tour was my favorite, and starting my own business is huge. I’m 23 and I’m trying to start something that can grow. Creating this dance convention is...well it’s kind of like my baby. I’m just very passionate about it. We heard you were expanding into acting? My first acting role was on Glee. I played the The Mack, the leader of a group called the Skanks. It was hysterical! I called my Dad and said, “Well Dad, I’m a skank.” I’m not like that in real life. It was super fun to play that part and get into it. In the future what would you like to be doing? I hope to inspire kids all over the country and bring dance education to them. I want dance in my life forever, and this is a perfect way to put it there.

Photo Courtesy: J squared photography

Think you have enough hustle to dance with the best? Check out Courtney and her crew at THE BEAT dance convention March 16th -18th. Register at thebeatdance.com.

MOVIEREVIEW OF PROJECT X I gotta tell you, Matthew Broderick and his Air Force chimps are no where to be found in this cinematic masterpiece that is a shoe in for next year’s Oscars and Canne Film Festival. Yes, I believe Meryl Streep when asked about this movie was quoted saying, “This film had me laughing my f**king balls off!” And then she hit the beer bong and started beat boxin’ some Doug E. Fresh songs. Honestly, if you took every major party movie ever made and crushed them down into one movie starring all nobody actors and one angry dwarf you would have one single solitary tear rolling down your

cheek because you my friend would have created Project X. The faux-documentary (or faucumentary if you) will follows three high schoolers on a quest to reach legendary status by throwing one insanely huge party. Fun, destruction of family property, nudity (shame on them), anarchy, chaos, balloon floating dogs, and the most awesome party known to man all help make this movie make Porky’s look like it was made by

By Cote Bailey @BlitzWeekly

Disney. Now be aware, most of the people with you in the theater watching Project X will be drunk, high, or possibly tripping on acid and they will undoubtedly go home and set their parents house on fire, but you shouldn’t worry about this (unless they live on your street). This film will become the bar by which party movies must try to aspire to; parents will cringe, neighbors of teenagers will look on with shock and awe, wastoids (like myself) will applaud. The movie is fun. Go see it. Go enjoy it. Go survive it.

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MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

AUTOREVIEW: FERRARI F12 BERLINETTA GOOD HORSEY

By Quick Steve – @BLITZWeekly

nzo, you’ve done it again. These are the things that little boy’s dreams are made of; red Ferraris. Even Ferris Buehler had to experience one. Now the minds behind the greatest F1 Team in history have unleashed a new road chariot of the gods, the Berlinetta. The type of car that makes you want to get up and

switch your Folgers with a little Shell Ultra Helix 5W-40 in the morning. Built on a frame and chassis that seemed to be whispered from the ghosts of Maranello, Italy and forged in beauty, pride, and greatness. This front mid-engine, rearwheel-drive, grand tourer surpasses its predecessor the 599 in looks, agility, and fe-

rociousness. The Berlinetta’s 6.3 L V12 is tuned better than the New York Philharmonic and could outrun the competition like Usain Bolt versus Canadians. It’s able to go 0 to 124 mph in 8.5 seconds. Being comprised of an aluminum space frame chassis co-developed by Carrozzeria Scaglietti, the Berlinetta was able to shed

some unwanted pounds and reduce its weight by 70 kg from the bulkier 599. But to touch this seven-speed dualclutch with a semi-automatic gearbox dream machine expect to fork over a lot of Euros. The price hasn’t been set but its pappy the 599 was $310-411,000 bucks. And don’t forget it only gets 11 mpg city/15 hwy.

Apple iPad 3 It’s been less than two years since the iPad first landed, but Apple is ready to make the only tablet worth buying even better. Headlining the list of new features on the iPad 3 is the drool-worthy Retina display, which densely packs in enough pixels that the human eye is unable to distinguish individual pixels when held at a reading distance — you know, like that iPhone 4 in your pocket. The new iPad and that crazy screen is powered by a high performance A5X chip with quadcore graphics (which is still is smart enough to deliver 10 hour battery life). There’s also a slick 5-megapixel iSight camera with 1080p HD video recording capability. And for the first time, you can get built-in support for AT&T’s and Verizon’s 4G LTE networks. Apple also today introduced the iPhoto app, along with major updates to iMovie and GarageBand, completing its suite of iLife apps for iOS. Like always, the latest iPad is available in black or white. It comes in 16GB, 32GB, and 64GB capacities. It will be available on March 16th. Price: $500-$830

GAMEREVIEW OF SSX By Jesse Campana – Twitch.tv/fang_i3anger

9 out of 10 VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

Console: PS3, 360 Rating: E Developers: EA Canada

Are you ready to hit some sky high jumps and grind some gnarly rails? SSX has all that and more in store for you. The fifth installment of the SSX franchise is made by EA Canada. The story mode is based upon Team SSX who is trying to complete races and points challenges on nine Deadly Descents. There are multiple types of challenges you will do from racing for the best time to trying to see who can rack up the most points doing different trick combinations. They also have a survival type mode where you try to avoid different hazards such as fallen trees and jagged pipes. You have to try to affect your armor as less as possible until you hit the finish line. Multiplayer will have you playing this game for hours. There are countless regions of the world with different mountains you can choose to snowboard down. You not only have to beat our CPU in points and race times, but it also lets you see the shadows of your friends who have done the same run. They can challenge

you to beat their time or score through money bets. Global events in the online feature have the challenges in the game always changing, so just when you thought you have conquered it all, there will always be a new challenge for you. You do not get to earn the same medals that people who have the online pass earn, but they do not really amount to much anyway. If you decide you want the medals in the future, then all you have to do is buy the online pass and all the prior medals you should have won in the past will show up on your account. The graphics and the soundtrack on this game make it even more entertaining. You will be amazed how many things you can grind from tree stumps and large piping to helicopters hovering over your jumps waiting for you to grind its landing skids. I did not have high hopes for another snowboarding title after Shaun White snowboarding had been so disappointing, but I think SSX has sucked me right back in to the extreme sports genre!

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

Q Why did the Q: b blonde stand in ffront of a mirror w with her eyes cclosed? A A: She wanted to see w what she looked like a asleep. Q Q: What’s it called w when a woman iis paralyzed from tthe waist down? A A: Marriage! Q Q: Do you know tthe punishment ffor bigamy? A A: Two mothers-in-law.

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

Sexy Underwear A young woman who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated at her husband’s lack of interest in sex. She wondered about ways to add some pizzazz to their sexual relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crotchless underwear she had seen in a novelty shop. One evening when she was feeling particularly desirous and he was, as usual, watching television, she took a shower, freshened up, and donned her crotchless undies and a slinky negligee. She then strolled between her husband and the television and suggestively tossed one leg up on his chair arm. “Want some of this?” she purred. “Are you kidding?” he replied. “Look what it did to your underwear!”

PISCES P FFebruary 19 – March 20 Y Your birthday will be celebrated this w week with your centerfold in Popular Mechanics as the “Tool of the Month”! A ARIES M March 21 – April 19 Y will soon be in a place where You y will no longer need your weekly you horrorscope. T TAURUS A 20 – May 20 April S Spruce up your life by conversing w others in your special falsetto E.T. with voice.

BLITZ FUNNYS

Not A Heartless Act Dublin, Ireland, March 3, 2011 - Christ Church Cathedral’s most precious relic was stolen. After being displayed in the cathedral since the 13th century, someone cut through two bars, pried its cage loose, then made off with the preserved heart of St. Laurence O’Toole, patron saint of Dublin.

G GEMINI M 21 – June 21 May T only thing you have to fear this The w week are men wielding power tools. C CANCER J June 22 – July 22 Y will be the toast of the Greenville You A Avenue St. Patrick’s Day Parade when you show up with nothing more than your green birthday suit (you may wanna get that checked out ASAP). L LEO J 23 – August 22 July T only way to reconcile your The d differences with those irritating neighbors of yours is to bury them in your backyard.

Nip/Snip/Tuck Doggie Style While “plastic” surgery is common, when Denise and David Smart spent the equivalent of $13,000 on their 5-year-old dog’s facelift and tummytuck, it made the news. UK’s The Daily Mail reported, though the animal did suffer a rare condition requiring skin to be removed above its eyes, the broader facelift ...and 39-stitches required to support a sagging belly …was strictly vanity motivated. Pet insurance paid part to give this pooch a more pleasing presence. (FYI - Though his mother was a more common b!tch, his father was a Crufts dog show champion.) A Pocket of Porn January 23, 2011, police in Ft. Worth, TX arrested Domingo Castellon, 56, for possession of drug paraphernalia. At the station, inside one of his pants pockets, they also found three flash drives, containing 45,000 images and videos of child pornography.

V VIRGO A August 23 – September 22 Y will feel misunderstood when you You s show up to the party professing the greatness of ScatPunk and no one else can relate. L LIBRA S September 23 – October 22 T kegerator of your dreams will The finally be yours now that your mailorder midget bride business is a success. S SCORPIO O October 23 – November 21 B Being labeled a “sexpert” isn’t such a bad thing after being known as the person who can recite all of the lines to every episode of Sex and the City verbatim.

ACROSS: 1. Stow, as cargo 5. Eagerness 10. Not legs 14. Holly 15. A river through Paris 16. Debauchee 17. Throw away as refuse 18. Deplorable 20. Ore refinery 22. Celebrated 23. Fury 24. A Eurasian aromatic herb 25. Vulnerable 32. Loosen, as laces 33. Stagnated 34. Stitch 37. Modify 38. Hotel employee 39. Church alcove 40. Craggy peak

41. Fathers 42. Express a thought 43. Myopic 45. Positive pole 49. Born as 50. Honors 53. Eternal 57. Written material 59. Bright thought 60. District 61. Sail supports 62. Poems 63. 36 inches 64. Excrete 65. Snack DOWN: 1. Jar tops 2. Astringent 3. A territorial unit of Greece 4. Overt

S SAGITTARIUS N November 22 – December 21 Y new title of scribe will do you Your ju justice at this week’s calligraphy club meeting. C CAPRICORN D December 22 – January 19 D to your hideous face you will be Due lo lo lonely for all of eternity. A AQUARIUS Ja January 20 – February 18 A finally getting a new pair of jorts After w you realize that your sense of will fashion is forever trapper in the late 1990’s.

5. Not awake 6. Back 7. Not brilliant 8. 1 1 1 1 9. Lease 10. A kind of macaw 11. Batman’s sidekick 12. Work animals 13. Squalid 19. Lugged 21. Tall woody plant 25. Cooking fat 26. Annul 27. Blend 28. Crown 29. Lazybones 30. Consecrate 31. Permit 34. Expectoration 35. Feudal worker 36. Noxious plant 38. Compete

39. Most distant point in solar orbit 41. Contemptuous look 42. Curved molding 44. Swallow 45. Put to rest 46. Nigerian monetary unit 47. Not inner 48. Great fear 51. Disabled 52. Male deer 53. The products of human creativity 54. Cocoyam 55. Views 56. Cummerbund 58. Utilize

Solution on Page 18 FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 14 – 20,, 2012

THE CLOSER

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

LAST CALL THE GOOD OLD DOUBLE STANDARD By Joe Stumpo – www.darthstumpo.com

Killian’s Irish Red Brewed by: Coors Brewing Company ABV: 4.90% This beer pours a dark amber color with a light brown head which doesn’t long with some nice lacing. Weak caramelized malt and hops scent. The taste is decent with some hops and a bit malty but not too strong. It’s a light bodied beer with good carbonation. It’s an easy drinking brew and perfect for a long bout on St. Patrick’s Day! Bravo Sosegado Lancero Wrapper: Colombia Binder: Colombia Filler: Colombia Strength: Mild This is a proper looking lancero with it’s ornate band. This smoke had a few veins running down the length of the cigar and is medium in diameter. This mild cigar has a pleasing flavor with a substantial leather undertone. Nothing overpowering. The draw is smooth. It burns pretty fast. Hints of cedar emanate throughout. It’s well balanced and flavorful.

Irish Car Bomb Ingredients: 3/4 pint Guinness Stout 1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish Cream 1/2 shot Jameson Irish Whiskey Mixing Instructions: Add the Bailey’s and Jameson to a shot glass, layering the Bailey’s on the bottom. Pour the Guinness into a pint glass or beer mug 3/4 of the way full and let settle. Drop the shot glass into the Guinness and chug. If you don’t drink it fast enough it will curdle and increasingly taste worse.

he liberals who asked me how I felt about conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh’s comments about Georgetown law school student Sandra Fluke the past week made me feel like I was Michael Corleone from The Godfather Part III (1990) where he says, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” When I say “They” I mean liberals. This is not an issue I really wanted to address. For the record, I DO NOT agree with Limbaugh’s comments. There are plenty of ways “El Rushbo” could have used to describe Sandra Fluke and still get his point across without having to publicly degrade her. Nor do I agree with the way Limbaugh apologized to Fluke on his radio show as his advertisers started bailing on him days later. Limbaugh should have taken a lesson from radio host Don Imus who met with the Rutgers University women’s basketball team personally apologizing to them for the derogatory comments he said on his radio show back in 2007. If Limbaugh were truly sincere in his apology to Sandra Fluke, he would have called her personally. Instead President Obama had to. What Rush Limbaugh did on his radio show was stoop to the same name calling level that political commentators Keith Olbermann, Ed Schultz and standup comedian Bill Maher have done so many times in the past and have either got a slap on the wrist or in the case of Maher, get away scot free calling Sarah Palin a “c” word because as he said in the wake of Limbaugh’s comments, “Rush, I don’t have sponsors – I’m on HBO.” I was more than surprised when Bill Maher earlier this week defended Limbaugh tweeting, “Hate to defend #RushLimbaugh but he apologized, liberals looking bad not accepting. Also hate intimidation by sponsor pullout.” “You want to get some tapes of some things that Bill Maher has called Sarah Palin? The “C” word over and over again,”

VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

Limbaugh said in his 3/2/12 radio show. “Bill Maher and some of his comments make me look like Romper Room [sic], a choir boy.” As many times as liberals have asked me the past week if I think what Limbaugh said was wrong and how would I feel if a conservative commentator called my daughter or wife a slut or prostitute, the question also has to be asked how would they feel if Bill Maher called their wife or daughter, regardless if that woman is in the political spectrum or a female conservative commentator a “c” word, a piece of meat with lipstick on it, or a slut how would they react? I am willing to bet they’d be pretty furious just as they are now with Limbaugh’s Fluke comments and will not sit still until Rush is off the air permanently as though this is their only purpose in life. In a perfect world, Bill Maher and other leftist commentators would be held to the same media scrutiny and standards that Rush Limbaugh is being attacked for. In a perfect world, President Obama’s Super PAC committee (Priorities USA) would give back Bill Maher’s $1 million contribution to offset the double standards clearly being perpetrated by the left. This is not, however, a perfect world. This is liberal land where it’s ok to for the left to call a woman on the right a foul demeaning word or phrases but the minute a conservative commentator steps out of line and attacks a female law student, it’s time to silence the right and not just Rush Limbaugh but every conservative who opposes The Obama Administration and their left wing policies and viewpoints. The next time Rush Limbaugh insults someone that makes headline news, which these days is on a weekly basis, those liberals who want his head on a platter and back me into a corner demanding a yes or no answer if what I think Rush said was right or not, I am going to ask them “Where the f-----g hell were they when Ed Schultz called Laura Ingraham a right-wing slut? Where was all the outrage?”

Name: Kyle Hungerford How You Know Him: The raspy-voiced owner of Poke’s Place (think if Clint Eastwood owned a bar) with dreams of pouring up a cold one for a dead Yankee’s legend. He may not really be Dirty Harry but he did sit down with us; and it made our day. What made you get into the bar and restaurant industry? I started working at a little bar and restaurant when I was 14 and it’s really been all that I’ve done my whole life except for a couple of years. Why the name Poke’s? It’s my dad’s nickname. He and I are real close and I had a different name in mind, but it was kind of stupid so I named it after my dad. He’s a big Oklahoma State fan so we always call him Poke. What’s the biggest perk of owning a bar? Wholesale beer. Your most memorable night at the bar The Bedlam Series (Oklahoma State & OU) and Game 6 of the World Series (Rangers vs. Cardinals) not the ending but during the game was the most fun I’ve ever had. Three things that you never leave the house without My cell phone My truck keys And my wallet One person that you would love to sit down and have a beer with Mickey Mantle What do you think that he would drink? Whatever What are some things that you are working on for the future of the bar? Building a patio and a stage for live music. Hottest woman on the face of the Earth Mila Kunis 11th Commandment What I say goes.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 27

MARCH 14 – 20, 2012

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