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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

ON DECK JUST DO IT...LATER By Keysha Hogan – @TheKeysha

H SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Bad Boys Bad Boys 3 Out of the Woods 4 Sidelines w/ Tony Casillas 5 Mavs News 6 Final Four Preview 7 Stars News 7 Cover Story We Like Kenny 8 The List 9-13 BLITZ ENTERTAINMENT Lambchop 14 Seven Things in Seven Days 14 Hollywood Shuffle 15 Sizzling Hollywood 15 Movie Review 15 Auto Review 16 Gadgets 16 Joystick 16 BLITZ FUNNYS Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 THE CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 Comic Book Review 18 2-Minute Drill 18 BLITZ BABE OF THE WEEK Caitlin 19

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Patterson Graphic Designer Damien Mayfield Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Design by Damien Mayfield/ Shaena Rowland Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

Staff Writers Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, David Goodspeed, Keysha Hogan, Frank LaCosta, Mateeka Lanee, Mark Miller, Tommy Smith, Jesse Whitman Contributing Photographers Dominic Ceraldi, Jason DeRusha, Chris Gooding, Loren Javier, Beckett, Mikis Portraits, Skyline Pictures, Dipatch.com, inflexwetrust.com Contributing Writers Ashly Anderson, Cote Bailey, Tony Casillas, Tennesse Chris, Will Fiscal, Scott Free, Frank Mesa, Joe Stumpo

urry! The Tim Tebow Jets market with more jersey is already for sale money, and Tebow at the NFL Shop online. could get on the For only $84.99, you’ll endorsement train be able to take a knee in style and earn big, if and thank the heavens for all your only the NFL was a awesomeness different beast. in a Tebow #15 Peyton Manning New York Jets spent 14 years playing jersey. It may be in Indianapolis, the 10th hard to fight good smallest market and earnole American coning about $10 million sumerism, but you from endorsements annumay want to fight ally. Brett Farve played the urge to indulge in the smallest market, your Tebowmania Green Bay for 16 years just yet. and earned about the In just a few same. Eli Manning and short days Nike Tom Brady both play in will replace Reebok big markets and bring as the official venin about $5 million. All dor of all NFL onthese big earners have field apparel. The Super Bowl titles and industry is speculatthat’s why companies ing that the almighty want a piece of them, Swoosh is going to not their zip codes. make major changes Tebow will be movto the look of some ing to the northeast as uniforms. They are etrust.com & Beckett a backup quarterback Photo Courtesies: inflexw planning to follow for a team that fi nished 8-8 last year. When the trend they started when they made colhe was in Denver, the next closest team lege football’s most esteemed brands more was 565 miles away, and he earned about flashy (or depending on your viewpoint... trashy.) So there is a chance that these $1 million in endorsements from deals with first edition Jets Tebow jerseys will join the Jockey, EA Sports and Nike. While being in NY, he will be in competition with the world of weird collectables and increase in value. But it’s also likely you’ll be the Giants and athletes from the seven other saddest fan in the stands wearing a brand professional teams battling for sponsorship money. new Tebow throwback. For him to rack up and reach his earnFor the past two seasons, the Tebow #15 Broncos jersey has been one of the ing potential he’ll need to become a startbestselling jerseys. Match that with the ing quarterback on a team that is winning. explosive growth and consumption of the Some of you haters are probably thinking, Big Apple’s tri-state area and I’m betting “Great, now they have two QBs who can’t throw.” But if Tebow replaces Mark SanNike has an early money maker to welchez as QB and prays his way to a Super come them to the NFL. They have already posted a 32 percent inventory increase Bowl win, then prepare to see Tebowmaworth roughly $3.4 billion in preparation nia explode across the universe. For now the Jets’ front office is towing the line and for the change over. You may be wondering how much of declaring Mark Sanchez the starting QB, those billions will line Tebow’s pockets next but the free market has already spoken. year, and the answer is not as much as Sanchez’s jersey has already been marked you’d think. New York is definitely a big down to the bargain price of $59.97.

BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Copyright 2012 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.

YAY, YOU’RE FAMOUS!

SO YOUR CELLMATES WILL KNOW YOUR NAME!

Driving Ms. Crazy It seems that Lindsay Lohan can’t keep the negative press away. The habitually relapsing actress, who finally turned her life around, is now in the news for allegedly hitting a guy while fleeing from paparazzi. Thaer Kamal is seeking a six-figure payday out of the deal. He claims that he has the surveillance tap to prove it too. Kamel also says the tape is for sale to the highest bidder. We hope Lindsay has a valid eBay account.

Dallas Polo Club

LE A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY

WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG

C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

Conan O’Brien @ConanOBrien I’m in Vegas with the boys! Wait, nope. Home alone playing roulette on my iPad. Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman

I’m so proud to be the founder of “WOMEN & MEN UNITE”, a global movement I made up on the elliptical just now. Tofa @TheAwkwardTweet The awkward moment when you can’t tell whether liking a sad status shows your support, or if it means you like their sadness.

Changing of the Guard Ok here’s one, what do you call a division 1, NCAA tourney stand out guard who gets arrested wearing full uniform just minutes before tipoff against Mercer? You call him Kent Bazemore of Old Dominion. The 22-year-old was invited to sit down and stay a while with Virginia Beach PD after missing court-ordered alcohol-education classes for a DUI bust last summer. Mercer won so Bazemore’s time at Old Dominion is now over. But all is well, we hear Jack Daniels is starting a pickup league. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29 Photo Courtesies: Dipatch.com & Mikis Portraits

OUT OF THE WOODS TIGER VICTORY GROWL CAN FINALLY BE HEARD By Scott Free – comments@blitzweekly.com

his past weekend Tiger Woods finally remembered that he can play golf – and we’ve missed him. By stepping out in his retro form at the Bay Hill Club and Lodge, Tiger walked away with a much-needed win at the Arnold Palmer Invitational. And with the days of porn star mongering hopefully behind him, Tiger can get back to golf. Slowly but surely sponsorships are again taking a stroll through the Woods. Nike Golf, EA Sports, Rolex, and Fuse Science are among those willing to pet the once rapid Tiger. Although, there will be the occasional awkward questions about former swing coach Hank Haney’s tell-all book, it should be a relatively smooth road ahead. Tiger Woods can be great again. He should be great again. Like most champions he possessed a flaw. Their pedigree can be traced back to the heroes of Greece and hubris. This pride and arrogance put him on a high-speed collision course with shame, embarrassment, and humility. But champions rise. If it were Babe Ruth, Michael Jordan, Brett Favre, Carl Lewis, or Roger Clemmons (all of whom experienced marital problems) would we not root for them to bounce back, not just as better athletes but better human beings. Or have we become quite possibly so jaded as a society that forgiveness is something that is only talked about in pews on Sundays. Now we can root, and hoot-and-holler to the top of our lungs all we want because the fact of the matter is that it will all be for nothing if Tiger doesn’t win. And win often. Win like he use to. But he can’t just win, he has to smile, be confident, contrite, and humble. He has to show that gold is forged in fire just as his past indiscretions shall make him better. He has to go out there and show us the old player and the new person all at the

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same time. Can Tiger win consistently? Can Tiger rebuild his image? Can Tiger be Tiger again? There was a time when it was fashionable to say no to all three of these questions and

why not? Tiger certainly did little to merit our respect and admiration with his actions and egregious disdain for self-respect or honor. His fall was hard, but not fatal. His comeback will be based solely on his actions; each and every one of them. No missteps or miscues can befall his path or to the Tiger poachers he’ll go. I for one hope he can come back if for no other reason then believing that is possible to pick oneself up after you stumble; to have the ability to earn your place back at the table. So, swing Tiger. Swing and have us remember why you were our hero. Tom Rinaldi from ESPN asked Tiger recently what was the difference between himself and his opponents when he was at the top of his game. And Tiger answered, “The Score.” Bring golf back to life Tiger, it needs you.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

SIDELINES WITH TONY CASILLAS AND NFL HALL-OF-FAMER TROY AIKMAN By Tony Casillas – www.tonycassillas.net TONY C: Troy, not only were you a great football player but you’ve been nominated for three Emmys – very impressive! TROY: Thanks Tony. I can’t believe I’ve been in broadcasting for 10 years. I really enjoy the opportunity to work with Joe Buck and providing insight from my own perspective for the viewing fans. TONY C: How did you develop such great broadcasting skills, and how did you get started? TROY: Originally, I started by working games for the NFL Europe league with Brad Sham, play-by-play radio announcer for the Dallas Cowboys. Through my experience and with hard work, I was able to develop my skills by conveying my thoughts so the fans could understand my perspective as a quarterback in the NFL. I hope they enjoy my objective opinions. TONY C: You stay very busy. By the way, I love your commercials, especially the Rent-a-Center commercial with Hulk Hogan. What was it like working with Thunderlips (Hogan’s character from Rocky III)? TROY: [Laughing] I was always a big Rocky fan and I loved his character, he’s a great guy too. I expected him to be 6’6” 340 pounds but he wasn’t that big in person. We had a lot of fun shooting the commercials. TONY C: …not as intimidating as his character in the Rocky movie? TROY: He was, but not as large in stature! TONY C: Let’s talk Cowboys football. If you’re Jason Garrett or Jerry Jones what is the number one thing you address in the off-season via free agency or the draft?

TROY: Without a doubt the secondary. The secondary was poor in the 2011 season, so the Cowboys need to solidify that position to improve [overall] on defense. The offensive line should also be a priority and the linebacker position. TONY C: Troy, one of the greatest attributes you had as a player was your leadership skill. You were almost stoic but this resulted in having complete respect from your teammates. Does Tony Romo have that type of leadership skill? TROY: Absolutely. Obviously Tony did not play well at times last year; but he fought through injuries and ultimately ended up having a nice year. I think Tony is a really good quarterback, but in Dallas it’s either Super Bowl or bust! TONY C: So let’s have some fun, play Troy the love doctor. What advice would you give guys who are really trying to impress a woman if they don’t have the Troy Aikman charisma? TROY: [Laughing] It’s really easy…don’t make it complex, keep it simple and in time things will work out! TONY C: Last question, I know you have daughters. I have an 11-year-old who thinks she’s 14 at times. What parenting advice can you give me? TROY: Tony, I have three daughters: one in college, a 13-year-old, and an 11-year-old. I can only say just stay out of the way and they will come around. That’s what someone told me before and now I understand. TONY C: So should I keep my shotgun at the front door? TROY: Maybe [laughing]

Artwork by: Skyline Pictures

You can catch College Hall of Famer Tony every Saturday night on the Nicole Barrett Show from 8-9pm on 570KLIF and follow the Two-Time Super Bowl Champion on Twitter @TCCasillas.

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29 Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 3/29 @ HEAT 7:00 P.M. 3/30 @ MAGIC 7:00 P.M. 4/2 CLIPPERS 7:30 P.M.

REGAINING FOCUS MAVS THINKING ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE. By Geoff Case – @geoffcase The Mavericks have had their ups and down this lockout shortened season. In a schedule that isn’t too friendly to older players fresh off a championship run they’ve maintained their composure for the most part. The biggest thing is that now that the majority of the key players on the roster have experienced going the distance they understand how to pace themselves for the regular season grind. Losing a game to the Spurs in late March suddenly doesn’t seem as dire as it once did because they get the bigger picture. The bigger picture for Rick Carlisle is setting yourself up to make sure your team gets hot at the right time. He did that last Saturday night by recommending his team treat the game against the Rockets like a playoff game. Carlisle emphasized the importance of the game in his pregame message to his team, and the defending champions took it to heart. Jason Terry, who scored 14 points in the fourth quarter and overtime, took what the coach said delivered his best game of the season. “He said it was a playoff game,” Terry said, “and that’s all I needed to hear.”

ing that magic that delivered the franchise’s first title last season. “It was the biggest win of the year for us. It really was,” Carlisle said. “We were fighting back all night, until the end of regulation. They made a couple of plays and we made a couple of plays. The guys kept hanging in, and that’s what it’s about.” There are major question marks about this team heading into the home stretch. The Mavericks will eventually need Lamar Odom to contribute but he remains stuck in one of the most shocking funks in NBA history. Lamar Odom returned to the rotation after receiving the first DNP-CD in his career in Friday’s game at San Antonio. Things didn’t get much better for Odom in just 13 minutes against the Rockets. His only two shot attempts in the first quarter were blocked, and he was held scoreless with a couple of rebounds. The Mavericks also need to get the rest of their roster healthy and gain back their team chemistry. The Mavs are hopeful to enter this stretch at full strength for the first time in a long time. DIRK MAKING HISTORY: Earlier this season, Charles Barkley claimed that Father Time had caught up to Dirk Nowitzki, who had gotten off to a slow start caused mostly by a sore right knee that forced him out of action for four games in January. Nowitzki rebounded from a 5-of-21 shooting night Friday at San Antonio by hitting 10 of 20 shots for 31 points Saturday at Houston. His final two free throws moved him past his Hall of Fame critic and into 19th place on the NBA’s all-time scoring list. Nowitzki has 23,758 points. Celtics star Kevin Garnett is next on the list, with 23,997. “That’s obviously great,” said Nowitzki when asked about passing “Sir Charles.” “Charles was always my hero.”

The game was very similar to how the Mavericks were able to cruise in the playoffs last season by grinding out wins in the fourth quarter on the backs of Terry and Dirk Nowitzki. It resonated with Rick Carlisle because it proves that the Mavericks are still capable of recreatVISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

RODDY B BACK TO THE BENCH Rodrigue Beaubois’ starting job proved to be short-lived as Vince Carter returned to the starting unit at shooting guard. Beaubois has finally come back down to earth after a brief stretch where he was providing some much needed scoring. Beaubois will need to display some more consistency if Carlisle is going to be able trust him this post-season.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

Photos Courtesy: Dominic Ceraldi

UPCOMING SCHEDULE: 3/28 @ OILERS 8:30 P.M. 3/30 @ CANUCKS 9:00 P.M. 3/31 @ SHARKS 9:30 P.M. 4/03 SHARKS 7:30 P.M.

FINALLY FOUR

THE FINAL STRETCH

PREPARE FOR BATTLE

STARS CLING TO PLAYOFF HOPES

By Tommy Smith – tsmith@blitzweekly.com

By Tony Barone – tbarone@blitzweekly.com

he 2012 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament is down to the Final Four as Kentucky, Louisville, Kansas and Ohio State all punched their ticket to New Orleans. In what has been a spectacular tournament thus far, the cream has risen to the top and this weekend should provide us with some tremendous semi-final games, and a grand finale featuring two college hoops heavyweights. Semi-final Saturday is as compelling as Championship Sunday in the NFL. This Saturday will be no different, as we will be treated to a great rivalry game in Louisville vs. Kentucky. The two schools squared off earlier this season, as they do every year, with Kentucky winning that game 69-62 New Years Eve. However, this is a different Louisville team now and the stakes are much higher. The Cardinals knocked out the Florida Gators 72-68 Saturday to win the West Region. Louisville ended that game by outscoring the Gators by 15 points in the last 10 minutes sending Florida Head Coach Billy Donovan, a Rick Pitino disciple, home asking what if? Louisville is getting great guard play in the tournament, led by Peyton Siva and Russ Smith. Smith scored 19 point off the bench against Florida as Siva fouled out in the game. This will be the ninth trip to the Final Four for Louisville and the second under Pitino. According to CBS Sports, only .49 percent of brackets have the Cardinals cutting down the nets as opposed to Kentucky being pegged over 40 percent of the time as the eventual winner, so the Cardinals are the team carrying the glass slipper to New Orleans. In the Midwest, Kentucky appeared to toy with Baylor for the first five minutes of the ballgame and at one point trailed 10-5. Then the Wildcats seemed to flip a switch going on a 16-0 run and would never look back at the Bears. One of Kentucky’s freshman standouts, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist led the Wildcats with 19 points against Baylor Sunday, while all everything and Oscar Robinson award winner, freshman Anthony Davis, added 18 points of his own with 11 rebounds.

John Calipari vs Rick Pitino in an instate rivalry to make it to the National Championship. Delicious! The other National Semi-Final game will pit the Ohio State Buckeys against Rock Chalk Jayhawk. Kansas will be making its first Final Four appearance since they won the title in 2008. This year’s version of the Jayhawks, who began the season a squirrely 7-3, have grown together over the course of the season and the2012 tournament while scoring the final 12 points of the game in their 80-67 win over North Carolina sending Kansas to the Final Four. Senior guard Tyshawn Taylor seemed to shake off the effects of a sluggish tournament thus far to put in 22 points, six rebounds, five dimes and five steals. That is filling out the scorer’s sheet. Player of the year candidate forward Thomas Robinson scored 18 points and guard Elijah Johnson also chipped in 10 points as well as his share of assists and rebounds. At one point in the tournament the field seemed to consist of only schools from the state of Ohio and the Big Ten, but Ohio State remains the lone representative from either of the two. The Buckeyes sent Jimmy Boeheim and the Syracuse Orange home with a 77-70 victory to win the East Regional. Sophomore forward, Jared Sullinger, fought through early foul trouble to score 19 points to lead the Buckeyes in the win over Syracuse. After finishing the season losing three of five games, Ohio State has looked the part of a champion in the tournament so far and will Give Kansas all they want in their semi- final game this Saturday. Although there is no VCU in this year’s Final Four for us all to root for as the giant underdog, there is plenty of good basketball and some great individual efforts to look forward to this weekend in the Final Four. This should be an outstanding weekend consisting of some of the best hoops the NCAA has to offer. Look for Kentucky and Ohio State to meet in the Finals Monday, however, this is March Madness. You never know when an illadvised time out by Chris Webber could cost a team a shot at the dream.

he Dallas Stars recent 10-0-1 run catapulted them into first place in the Pacific Division. Following that remarkable run, they lost three of four games before rebounding with a 4-1 win over the Calgary Flames on home ice. The Stars now embark on a four-game Canadian road trip that may not only determine their fate as Division Champs but also their ability to stay in the Western Conference playoff race. That’s because just one point separates the Pacific Division leading Stars and San Jose, which is currently fourth in the division race and ninth in the Western Conference. When the Stars return to action in the American Airlines Center on April 3 against the Sharks only three games will remain in the 82 game regular season. The Stars continue to get terrific goaltending from Kari Lehtonen. In the win against Calgary, Lehtonen stopped 35 shots in a game the Stars were outshot by 36-20.

tain, what a professional guy he is.” Morrow played on the fourth line with center Tom Wandell and Tomas Vincour against Calgary. Morrow played 10:14 in the game, including only 7:46 of ice time. He saw 2:28 of power play time. “I think 10-12 minutes while he is getting fully healthy is probably the right message,” said Gulutzan. “But he is one of our best net presence guys. He’s great in front

“I think you have great goalies and you have elite goalies and why we’re saying Kari’s elite is because his level of play is rising in important games,” Dallas coach Glen Gulutzan said after the win. “They threw a lot of bodies at him and there’s going to be more, but he’s a big guy, he fights through it. “He looked like he was in the zone, catching pucks with guys in front of him, giving our team a lot of confidence. You see a different level coming out of Kari right now.” Stars captain Brenden Morrow has been back in the lineup for seven games, but the injury problems that have forced him to miss considerable time this season continue to slow him down. That’s why Stars coach Glen Gulutzan decided to move Morrow down the lineup for the game against Calgary. “Brenden has to do a lot to get game ready. The right thing to do is probably scale a couple of his minutes back just because of what he has to put himself through to be game ready,” Gulutzan said. “I talked to our captain a couple days ago about it, and he agreed. That’s why he’s our cap-

of the net as you’ve seen here tonight, and he’s a big voice in our room of how we want to be and how we want to conduct ourselves. I have a lot of respect for Brenden Morrow. He wants to win.” The Stars honored former defenseman Karlis Skrastins prior to the Calgary game. Skrastins was killed when the plane carrying his KHL team crashed in Russia last September.

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

Words by Kelly Reed I Introduction by C. Patterson

here are certain people in life that as soon as you meet them your brain places a bookmark. Perhaps it’s their smile, or handshake, or their larger than life personality. Some people just have “it” and Kenny Bowers has “it.” So often chefs today have attained diva-like statuses that would make Aretha Franklin blush, but Kenny with his disarming smile greets you as a friend who is delighted that you’ve come to join him for dinner. For this special issue we thought it would be important to speak with someone of stature on DFW cuisine. Kenny smilingly agreed. And with the Woodfire Grill, Kenny’s Italian Kitchen, the Burger Joint all under his belt I think he fits the bill. Pull up a chair and elbows off the table… Kenny is served.

What’s the first thing you ever cooked? Veal Parmesan, my stepmom taught me how to make my first dish. I was like nine years old and it was my favorite dish before we made it. She told me that we have to double bread the veal and we gotta pound it, all this good stuff you know. People talk about their “last supper” without a doubt that would be mine. Where would you place the current state of the restaurant industry here in Dallas? I think in general we are pretty fortunate to be in Texas and specifically Dallas in terms of the economy. Things are a lot better here than they are in other parts of the country. So, I think that there has been some insulation, although, it definitely has hurt some people, but because Dallas is such a business friendly and easy operate place it attracts a lot of people. But it used to be years ago Dallas had a lot of chains or a lot more chains I should say, but now I think you are

seeing a changing of the guards. A lot of people are tried of chains and they are putting more emphasis on independents and chef driven concepts that aren’t necessarily “cookiecutter.” So, what about the food truck craze? It’s funny we talked about actually doing a food truck. I think it’s awesome and really cool because from a business perspective if you open a restaurant and you open your doors you have to attract the fish to come to you, but if you have a food truck you can just drive to where the fish are. Dallas is such a strong city the way it’s set up with little pockets and shopping centers. It’s not like New York or Boston or LA where you have such a density of people in one particular area so I like it, but I just don’t know if it’s ever going to take off here like the way that it did in those places. It seems that new trends are constantly popping up. What do you think is next on the horizon? People are now talking about South Asian cuisine. And if you think about what P.F Chang’s did for Chinese food, you know. They kind of took it and packaged it up and made it very mainstream. That’s such a tough question [pauses to gather his thoughts] again because of the economy I think value and how people are treated is heightened because people are more discerning with their dollars now. I think one area that has always been there, but I always thought was really cool is sandwiches. When I say sandwiches I don’t mean one that you would get at a chain place, but an upscale sandwich. If you think about it you can take anything and put it between too pieces of bread. You can put all kinds of cool ingredients and it’s affordable. There is a place like that in LA that I just read

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about and you see individual places like that in New York. So, being from Boston what is something uniquely New England that you where able to bring to Dallas and put your own spin on it? It originally started with Daddy Jack’s when Jack Chaplin and I were partners we opened up Daddy Jack’s in the early ‘90s we said that we were going to do boiled and broiled seafood and give them [Dallas] a taste of New England. Fast forward to now and this place here [Kenny’s Italian Kitchen] is a lot like you would get on the north end [of Boston] and that’s something that my business partners and I wanted to do here. Lobster Fra Diavlo is something that I grew up with; it’s Italian, but it’s also New Englandy, you know? At the Woodfire Grill we do a New England Baked Stuffed Fish and it’s a Ritz Cracker crabmeat stuffing and that’s just as New England as you can get. We also have Popovers. There’s a pretty famous place called Anthony’s Pier 4 that’s in Boston that has been there forever and they serve Popovers. The Popover is sort of like a version of Yorkshire pudding, but it’s individual. That’s something that I had at home that I wanted to bring here. At the Burger Joint we have a dish called the Steak Bomb. In Philly it’s called the Philly Cheesesteak, but in Boston they call them steak bombs. It’s big and its got shaved ribeye with provolone and white American, peppers, onions, and mushrooms. Good stuff. Wow, so how did you end up in Dallas? I didn’t want to go to school anymore and I came down here when I was 20 to work with my cousins and my uncle in the insurance business in the summer of ’88. We started Affordable Insurance the next year and then Jack Chaplin a

friend of mine had just sold his restaurant and we opened up Daddy Jack’s together for three years. After that I did Lefty’s on Belt Line, and then Big Fish Little Fish down on Henderson [It’s now Vickery Park] and I was with Rockfish for seven years after that, which is where I met my current business partner Bob [Stegall]. Then we started the Woodfire Grill and three years after that our other business partner Mike [Hutchinson], who was still at Rockfish but it had converted to Twin Peaks, wanted a change so he came onboard. What’s the hardest part about managing three restaurants that cater to three different clienteles? One element that is difficult is that the Burger Joint is much more casual than the Wood Grill. We would have people go up to the Burger Joint and they were expecting the Wood Grill, but they are two completely different concepts. So that was a hurdle to get people to understand that it will be a different experience, but still a great experience. The other thing is that we genuinely try really hard to make everyone happy. Even though the Burger Joint is really casual, the Woodfire Grill is upscale, and the Italian Kitchen is right in the middle we try to give people the same level of satisfaction, service, and value and that is hard because it’s three different price points. We are fortunate to have great team members and everyone does a great job, but sometimes it’s hard to deliver a consistent experience for all three. So moving into more of the personal instead of the business, what’s a must have in your kitchen at home? Ketchup. I love ketchup, I do. It’s funny because I always have a hidden bottle in case of an emergency situation. Houston’s is one of my favorite

places even though it’s a chain and Sundays nights are Prime Rib night and I put ketchup on my steak, I’ll admit it. So, there is nothing worse than being at home drinking wine and about to eat my steak and the ketchup is not there. So ketchup is a must have. Who are some chefs that you admire? Gosh, there are a few. I would have to say Kent Rathbun because I think when he’s cooking he’s one of the few guys that can really do upscale food and it taste really good, have substance, and a good portion. There are not a lot of people that can do that so I definitely look up to him. My good friend Bud Boswell, who’s sort of in sales now, but he has been cooking for a long time and he is somebody I definitely get ideas from. My brother-in-law owns a restaurant in Philadelphia and he’s someone I really look up to; he’s the kind of guy that up to a couple years ago was making his own mayonnaise. Tre Wilcox is someone I have a ton of respect for and my old partner Jack Chaplin, who was my mentor. He taught me how to cook and was in the fourth graduating class of Johnson & Wales [College of Culinary]. What chef TV show do you most disagree with? Worst Cook In America. I think it looks really staged. Last question. What keeps you cooking? It is really gratifying when someone says, “oh my God this was so good.” I enjoy that aspect of it. And this is the kind of philosophical part of it because to me the food and the alcohol are really just a medium to bring people together in a place to show them a good time. I really enjoy cooking.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

THE LIST We have evolved enough as human beings to start choosing not just any place to eat, but the best places to eat. So, your good friends at BLITZ have taken all the guesswork out and put together an awesome list of places to stuff your face with goodness. Others have tried, but we have conquered. Behold – The List:

BARS & FUN Did you know that bars aren’t just the place where you met the girl (or guy) you woke up next to? Us either. It turns out that you can actually eat there too!

Angry Dog I www.angrydog.com One of the most awarded bars in Dallas (from our brothers at Dallas Observer and D Magazine), Angry Dog has great burgers and wings. Taking things a step further, they also have killer hot dogs and nachos. BlackFinn American Saloon I www.blackfinndallas.com/addison The Finn has modern take on quintessential “bar food” with flat breads, Iron Skillet Macaroni and Cheese, Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf, and much more. They also have the more traditional burger selections that push them into Top Chef contention.

Dubliner I www.dallasdubliner.com The Irish pub has lots to choose from; like their Artisan Cheese Board with eight choices, good sandwiches, and of course spuds. We also hear it’s not a bad place to have a drink either.

Duke’s Original Roadhouse I www.dukesoriginalroadhouse.com There can be many imitators, but there can be only one originator and in saying that Duke’s is king. Whether you pick the Plano or the Addsion location the result remains the same; good food and good times. Don’t leave without trying the “The Big Dog.”

The Library Bar I www.landmarkrestodallas.com If you like music with your meal try out The Library Bar and exercise your right to have couth. They have an amazing Pan Seared Foie Gras and Cane Glazed Half Chicken. To add to the ambience there’s always a great piano player and/or jazz singer on hand.

The Libertine I www.libertinebar.com A Greenville Ave. institution since their first drink was poured, The Libertine has a pretty impressive menu to prepare your stomach for the onslaught of alcohol that’s headed down the hatch. We recommend the Portobello Fries, Mac n’ Cheese, or Moules Frites.

MCFadden’s I www.mcfaddensaddison.com From their “Almost Famous Wings” to their Irish Nachos, McFadden’s has you covered. Try out the Pulled Pork Sloppy Joe in all its cheesy unkempt goodness. There are also salads and hand crafted sandwiches.

Meddlesome Moth I www.mothinthe.net Pot pies, Prince Edward Island Mussels, and Blue Crab Salad oh my! The Moth brings their own blueprint for bar cuisine and they have drawn it to near perfection. Also sample some of their “rare beer tapping” every Wednesday at 5pm.

West End Pub I www.westendpubdallas.net The home of the one and only Pub Pie is a great place to relax and eat only a stones throw from Victory Park (Just don’t hit Lam Lam – he’s fragile). The “Neighborhood Pub Without A Neighborhood” has a solid menu and great service to go with it. FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

THE PIZZA PIES Hey, you look-a for the pizza pie? Well, look-a no further! Our list of pizza parlors will have you saying, “now that’s delicioso!”

Cane Rosso I www.ilcanerosso.com Jay Jerrier has succeeded in his mission to bring authentic Neapolitan pizza to the big D and if we were you we would immediately run out and try it. You’ll also find above average salads and the always-good pasta of the day. Carmine’s Pizza I www.carmineslewisville.com Amazing NY Style pizza is what makes Carmine’s special. For those looking for a thicker pie try the Sicilian style. Carmine’s has it by the slice up to the massive 20” large variety, which will feed 4-5 Blitz Weekly readers. They have your pasta needs covered with lasagna, manicotti, ziti and ravioli. Plus they deliver!

Coal Vines I www.coalvines.com The highbrow of DFW pizzerias, Coal Vines, has an incredible selection and dream-inspiring flavor in every pie. We would nudge you to try the Bolognese, but any of their picks would be worth the wait – and wait you will.

Dough Bro’s Italian Kitchen I www.doughbro.com This conveniently located casual dining restaurant has an upscale feel to it. Witness the “assembly zone” with its open kitchen creating your gourmet pizza right in front of you. Tired chicken wings? Try their pork wings. They’re meaty, juicy and tasty. The garlic dough bites are extremely popular. The Panko Crusted Chicken Parmesan is a must!

Fireside Pies I www.firesidepies.com The intimate neighborhood dining experience has been taken to the next level with Fireside Pies. Their pizza tastes delightfully natural, delicious, and right. They make you want to go after Pizza Hut with pitchforks and torches (just kidding don’t do that – they hate when you do that).

Grimaldi’s I www.grimaldispizzeria.com/texas/dallas-tx The coal brick-oven specialists are second to none. Their recipe has been tried and true for over 75 years. The Pennsylvania coal and the New York recipe make this pizza a can’t miss combination. Joe’s Pizza, Pasta & Subs I www.joespizzasubs.com The family-owned Carrollton pizzeria has been supplying the neighborhood with homemade dishes at reasonable prices for over a decade. Get your fill on New York Style, Sicilian Deep Dish, or by the slice. Any way you want it, that’s the way you need it – we just had ourselves a little Journey moment there.

Louie’s Louie may not know how to build a website, but he sure knows how to make a pie! The crust is one of a kind and crisp to near perfection. But the challenge is showing up there when its actually open.

Zini’s I www.zinispizza.com Traditional, simple, and perfect, Zini’s brings out all that is right with pizza every time they open the oven. They suit all taste buds; the foodie in the family would enjoy the Farmers Market pizza, while the picky eater would be right at home with the pepperoni.

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

MEET & GREET Sit down, stay a while, have another glass of wine, tell us more about your cat dander allergies. It doesn’t matter because the food here is friggin’ awesome.

Arcodoro Pomodoro I www.arcodoro.com/dallas Impress all of your friends with a night out here. The food is beyond amazing (not in the hyperbolic sense – I mean literally full of wonderment like a Sardinian Disney land), the atmosphere is nice and you will leave feeling full and fulfilled. Big Shucks I www.awshucksdallas.com Whenever you have a taste for the bounties of the Gulf head over to Big Shucks. Their fried baskets, boiled seafood, platters, and oysters on the half shell will make you forget all about any impending summer droughts.

Dick’s Last Resort I www.dickslastresort.com/domains/dallas This is the perfect place to blow off a little steam and be you. Dick’s is as comfortable as dinning gets and they have the right sized portions to fill you up. So, “whether you’re a dysfunctional family, unruly fan, or unsuspecting grandmother” – no one will treat you the way Dick’s will. Guaranteed. Kampai Sushi & Grill I www.kampaiaddison.com Tired of barbeque and chicken fried steak, then venture east to Kampai. They have just what you need to bring your taste buds out of the southwest for a while. Try out the Japanese Red Snapper sushi or sashimi and a side dish of Oshinko. Kenny’s Burger Joint I www.kenyysburgerjoint.com The Stonebriar Commons mainstay is a great place to meet up with friends and grab some good food. Convince one of your friends to try the El Jeffe Grande; It will make your night. Kuby’s Sausage House I www.kubys.com Nothing is manlier than sitting down to sausage and potato cakes, and Kuby’s has the best (and their Rueben sandwiches aren’t too shabby either)! This Man v. Food Nation alum has the right recipe for success. Best of all it won’t send you to the poor house when you get the bill. Lue’isiana Po Boys I www.lueisianapoboys.com A little bit of N’awlins wound up in Carrollton with this “hot sub sandwich” shop. It’s a good place to sit down, kick back, and enjoy a really good po-boy with friends or co-workers. Of course, our favorite is the authentic shrimp po-boy.

Mike Anderson’s BBQ I www.mikeandersonsbbq.com Bo may know football, but if he doesn’t know Mike Anderson’s BBQ then he doesn’t know #$%*! Mike has been making mouths water in DFW since 1981 and won’t be slowing down as long as that fire burns hot. Go get sauced on BBQ.

Nate’s Seafood and Steakhouse I www.natesseafood.com Nate’s been taking care of folks for almost 25 years and still has a great sense of humor and great dishes. The New Orleans influence is prevalent here with offers like gumbo, crawfish, and alligator po-boys. Try the Chilean Sea Bass for something new or a classic like the New York Strip.

Sushi on McKinney I www.sushionmckinney.com The Texas sushi icon has producing their sweet creations since 1983. And with more than just great sushi (they also serve a variety of Japanese beers and Sake) Sushi on McKinney should top your list for a relaxed and fun night out.

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

ON THE GO Pull up, get out, get fed, and get on with your life.

Bayou Market Cajun Deli I www.thebayoumarket.com This authentic Cajun kitchen in Lewisville is family owned by New Orleans native Joe Delgado. Their recipes are made from scratch and offer boiled and live crawfish, po-boy sandwiches and etouffee. We recommend the shrimp creole. For the holidays they have Cajun Fried Turkeys and Turduckens. Big Easy New Orleans Style Sandwiches I www.bigeasyplano.com This family run neighborhood establishment first opened its doors 19 years ago. They specialize in po-Boys, Muffelettas, Creole dishes and seafood. We urge you to try the Basin Street Chicken, as well as, the Sauteed Shrimp and Fried Green Tomato Po-Boy. The Creole Brunch on Sundays (11-3pm) features Pork Grillades and Grits, Shrimp Creole Omelets and Eggs Bienville. City Café To Go I www.thecitycafedallas.com/toGo.htm Gourmet food served up to go is no small task and City Café does it effortlessly. One of the best dining experiences you will ever have while running late for a meeting. Corinne’s Catfish I www.corinnescatfish.com As authentic New Orleans you can get without a three-day weekend trip to the bayou, Corrine’s brings the flavors of the Cajuns to you and they bring it fast. From Grilled Boudin, Garlic Crab Claws, alligator to gumbo this is the place to taste New Orleans on the fly.

Eatzi’s I www.eatzis.com It’s an awesome place to get your food and run or find some seats and chat. Eatzi’s has salads, chicken, pizza, pastries basically everything that Whole Foods has but better. Long thought a place just for the “upper crust,” Eatzi’s is simply a great place to get some great food. Fuel City Tacos I www.fuelcity-tacos.com The best gas station tacos on planet Earth. Period. This place has reached cult-like status for good reason, their food rocks. And the best part is…every single damn taco is $1.40. Seriously. This is a recession proof restaurant.

Holy Ravioli I www.holyravioli.com One of the coolest places in DFW, Holy Ravioli, offers some great Italian dishes that you can “take and bake” at home. We suggest stopping by, picking some up and making your lady friend think you can actually cook.

Offshore’s Nextdoor I www.offshoresnextdoor.com This awesome hangout in Lake Highlands has a relaxed atmosphere with a bayou style patio. For almost four years they’ve been serving up their Texas-style Cajun cuisine, which includes a variety of appetizers, fried fish baskets, po-boys and house specialties like etouffee and jambalaya. We dig the Salmon BLT. They have a full bar and cold beer is always available.

Quesa-D-Yas I www.quesadyas.com The best alternative to delivery or carryout pizza, Quesa-D-Ya’s has found their unique and tasty niche. They prepare their quick dishes with fresh ingredients and deliver deliciousness via D-Ya’s, tacos, burritos, bowls, or salads. Tasty Greek A good start for those craving Greek. The gyros and kabobs are excellent with their falafel isn’t second to none. This family owned restaurant will make you feel like you’re a part of the family. We love the Gyro here! VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

WINE & DINE For the times when asking for extra ketchup at the drive-thru window just doesn’t fit the mood of the occasion.

Bijoux I www.bijouxrestaurant.com Show your date that you have some class (and some disposable income) and reserve your table at Bijoux. Artisans of French cuisine will prepare a meal that will have your significant other dreaming of Paree. Vous y voir.

Dallas Fish Market I www.dallasfishmarket.com This is the perfect place to head to when you are trying to get out of the doghouse. She will love the décor, the service, and most importantly the food. It is quite a popular spot so call ahead of time.

Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steak House I www.delfriscos.com Start your date off with the Crab Cakes and then remember this: everything on the menu is a sure bet. Have a great time and remember to balance your checkbook in the morning.

Javiers I www.javiers.net This gourmet Mexicano restaurant lives up to all of its lofty expectations and delivers a superb dining experience to put the finishing touches on a special occasion. To really impress her (unless she’s vegetarian) order the Filete con Champinones or Red Snapper Mojo de Ajo.

Kenichi I www.kenichidallas.com The Victory Park hotspot is a winner on date night, because it will show her the diversity of your palate. Give her the experience of Japanese cuisine in a setting that will make her remember why she loves you. Kenny’s Woodfire Grill I www.kennyswoodfiredgrill.com This Chophouse has some of the best wood grilled seafood and prime cut meats that you can find anywhere. The aesthetics are elegant and the meals are great. Don’t forget to order that special bottle of wine for her as well. Nana I www.nanarestaurant.com Take your romantic evening up a notch and pull up a chair at Nana (I promise dessert will be well worth it - wink wink) We can strongly recommend the Slow Roasted Breast of Duck or the “Cowboy” Ribeye. Pappas Bros. Steakhouse I www.pappasbros.com A “Grade A” restaurant to say the least, Pappas Bros. offers some of the best beef known to man. Whether you choose the 22 oz. Bone-In Prime Ribeye, the eight oz. Filet Mignon, or the Grilled Double Lamb Chops expect to fall deeply in love. Stephan Pyles I www.stephanpyles.com The heart of the Arts District is the perfect backdrop for this southwestern cuisine restaurant. Chef Stephan Pyles creations will excite and satisfy you with every detail in this restaurants big bold flavors.

Tell us which restaurants you love, which ones you hate and your picks to make THE LIST next time on Twitter @BlitzWeekly FOLLOW BLITZ WEEKLY ON TWITTER AND FACEBOOK

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

LOUNGE THROUGH THE PAIN: LAMBCHOP CRAFT THEIR FINEST EFFORT IN YEARS WITH MR. M By Tennessee Chris – @TennesseeChris

ambchop’s 11th album, Mr. M, arrives with such a heavy heart and in a healing time for Kurt Wagner after his close friend Vic Chesnutt’s suicide (on Christmas Day, 2009) that it’s no surprise to hear it initially bore the working title Major League Bummer - in reality, the working title was the second one considered after a certain MLB team objected the reference to their club mascot in the initial title of Mr. Met. The Nashville collective have long been an aberration from the conventional boundaries of their colleagues, providing a backing musical tapestry of lounge, Burt Bacharach-type arrangements and jazzy swing while fronted by Kurt Wagner’s tireson-a-gravel-road vibrato. Across the nine songs and two instrumentals, Mr. Wagner ruminates on life, loss and love in his unique fashion, drawing on the mundane of everyday life in order to express something deeply soulful and poetic. The result is undoubtedly the band’s finest work since 2002’s Is a Woman, and marks another high point in the strange career of this very special group. Songs are swathed in delicate piano and mournful violin, tempos are funeral-procession slow and singer-songwriter Kurt Wagner often mutters his dazed words like a man still shaking off the effects of some unspoken tragedy. There’s some truth to this, too. Wagner actually penned much of Mr. M as a means of processing the 2009 suicide, and that sense of loss weighs heavily on songs like “2B2,” a mournful number about the challenge of connecting with humanity at large. On “Gone Tomorrow” Wagner peels back the curtain to his turmoil a bit more with my favorite line of the album, “The wine tasted like sunshine in the basement.” – a bittersweet sentiment that evokes the internal pain he is simultaneously

battling and emoting. The lead song, “Mr. Met,” is a marginally more direct lyrical take on the subject of friendship and loss (‘met’ being the past tense of ‘meet’). Clearly, there is always a residue of anger and resentment when someone close leaves us of their own volition: “I think of you today, boy what an a-hole. You made me spare, like used software. I will not follow you.” The song, however, is dripping with such tenderness that, for all the rage, the remembrance of his lost friend shines through. In turn, characters struggle with solitude, loss and sinking prospects throughout: “This was their last night on the continent,” Wagner sings on “Gone Tomorrow,” “The production was shutting down” - and there’s a sense every character passing through Wagner’s orbit could use a good stiff drink and a kind ear. But the song represents Wagner’s views of distraction and the replacement of thought, a theme which runs throughout the record. But while Wagner’s words often sound as if they were dragged bloodied and beaten from gutters littered with broken lives, the musical backdrop remains universally comforting, lush instrumentation folding around the singer like a welcoming embrace. So even in those darkest moments when Wagner moans about the good life being wasted on him, there’s still an overriding sense things will eventually improve - a feel-

ing supported by the album’s redemptive closer “Never My Love.” The song directly addresses the concept of love in a way unheard of in any previous Lambchop song “To be without (love) would be a losers bid,” sings Wagner amidst a warm backdrop of swooning strings, acoustic guitar notes that flutter like multicolored butterflies and sweetly romantic female backing vocalists, “Now that I get the hang of it, my love.” It’s a beautiful little vignette of deepest feeling where Wagner confesses, “Love I’ve never thought about it, just some silly word that people use.” The fact he can round off a record that is so full of loss and heartache with this admission is quite remarkable and indicates a level of catharsis and maturity that has been accumulated through years of personal torment. On the first listen of Mr. M, an album that clocks in just under an hour, it is shocking that only half way through the record, when listening to “Gar”, that so much content has been packed into such little time. I’m not saying the record drags, but Wagner treats his first twenty-eight minutes with such grace and patience that it could have been a record all its own. Every spin of Mr. M is in and of itself an epic journey through Wagner’s thoughts. With so much heartache equally balanced with so much love despite the loss, Lambchop delivers one of their finest works to date. Good luck and good listening.

Photo Courtesies: Darryl Briggs , Loren Javier, Jason DeRusha

WED. 3/28

HOT CHELLE RAE House of Blues – Dallas The Beautiful Freaks tour 2012 will be pulling up to 2200 N. Lamar Street and unleashing the “Tonight,Tonight” band onto DFW. Prepare to party at 7pm.

THURS. 3/29

WHAT TO WEAR FASHION SHOW Mockingbird Station – Dallas DFW Fashionistas will flock to the Mockingbird for the poolside event to see the style and creations that will be on all the who’s who of Dallas’ elite. Start Voguing at 6pm.

VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

FRI. 3/30

SAVOR DALLAS Dallas Arts District – Dallas Foodies will unite like Voltron! This two-day event will be like the opposite of the Hunger Games since everyone gets to eat and no one has to die. 5pm.

SAT. 3/31

WALK MS: DALLAS 2012 15650 Addison Rd – Addison After filling up at Savor Dallas you can walk it off for a good cause. Walk MS benefits the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Race starts bright and early. 7am.

SUN. 4/1

ROCKER VS MODS Smoke Restaurant – Fort Worth This event goes from March 30 - April 1 and it doesn’t care whether you’re a Harley or a Vespa, as long as you ride. This is one event you don’t want to miss.11am.

MON. 4/2

CLIPPERS VS. MAVS American Airlines Center – Dallas Catch a glimpse of Vinsanity, Dirk, JKidd, Lam Lam, and the Jet battle it out on the hardwood in their race to championship number two…oh yeah and the Clippers will be there too. 7:30pm.

TUES. 4/3

SHARKS VS. STARS American Airlines Center – Dallas JAWS will swim into the AAC to take on our hometown Stars and attempt to sink their playoff hopes. I guess San Jose didn’t see how the movie ended. Sushi anyone? 7:30pm.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

SIZZLINGHOLLYWOOD

WITH

THE SEXIEST KITCHEN COMMANDERS

By Blitz Weekly Staff – @BlitzWeekly Sure movie stars are cool, but there is nothing that will steal a guy’s heart faster than a beautiful woman that can heat things up in the kitchen too. These women know exactly how to spice life up, while remaining gorgeous in the process. They are like Heidi Klum meets Paula Dean. Chefs, cooks, and vixens of the stove we salute you and hold up our forks to your greatness. Salù. By Aeryn Ripley – @BlitzWeekly Whitney Houston – Apparently was ready to party right before her untimely death recently. Ms. Houston, according to the LA Coroner, had cocaine, Xanax, Flexeril, and Benadryl in her system immediately before drowning in her bathtub at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Unless you are starting a Beverly Hills CVS that’s a cocktail for unfortunate disaster. Kim Kardashian – Got a bit dusty on the red carpet last week. Kim K was posing on the red carpet for the launch of her new fragrance, True Reflection, when a woman who threw cooking flour all over her hair and back ambushed her. The powder was examined and deemed non-lethal and the woman was detained. Michael Bay – Set the Hollywood buzz meter ablaze last week when the mega director/producer announced he was bringing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back to the big screen – but without the whole mutant part. That’s right Bay’s turtles will be from outer space…the mutant purists were not amused.

CASEY THOMPSON

The Fort Worth Wonder was the padawan (three points for sneaking in a Star Wars reference) of Dean Fearing and has become quite the chef in her own right. This Top Chef: All-Stars alum represents Texas awesomely well.

PADMA LAKSHMI

The Emmy-winning beauty of Bravo’s Top Chef knows how to deliver quality cuisine and turn heads with her age defying looks. Pick up one of Lakshmi’s cookbooks and see why she is an award-winning author.

MOVIEREVIEW OF 4:44 LAST DAY ON EARTH Calling all Willem Dafoe fans! Calling all Willem Dafoe fans! Last call before the human populous bites the big one. Director Abel Ferrara (King of New York & Bad Lieutenant) shows us a glimpse of how humanity would take it if we all knew the exact moment of human extinction. The apocryphal masterpiece will not be a blockbuster film like the productions of Bruckheimer or Bay, but will provide gritty shards of glass that stab at the human psyche urging us to question and

introspectively contemplate how we would handle our own demise. The people in the world of 4:44 are much like those of our world; some desperately cling to religion flocking to St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City, some mentally breakdown, some seek unity and fraternity in the streets by candle light vigils, and some choose to spend their last moments with love ones. Dafoe and Shanyn Leigh play a

EDEN GRINSHPAN

EdenEats and we drool. The Cooking Channel’s stunning show host has traveled all over the world eating (and obviously at some point exercising). Being a world traveler only adds to her sex appeal.

Bohem couple living on the Lower East Side of Manhattan attempting to go about life as usual. They try to smile more; they still eat takeout food, and make love. The complexity of the emotions inside their flat is not delivered by jarring blows, but rather by subtle nuances. Dafoe’s character delves into an even deeper cavern of our subconscious behavior

RACHAEL RAY

Everyone’s favorite TV chef has had our undivided attention since 2001. Rachael has since become a media mogul reigning supreme on bookshelves, magazine covers, TV screens, product sponsorships, and the Forbes List.

GIADA DE LAURENTIIS

The Giada at Home host is the Italian super chef and our honorary hottest chef on the planet nominee. If you want to get closer to Giada just go to you local Target and buy one of the 10 bagillion products there with her image on it.

By Cote Bailey @BlitzWeekly

when he struggles with the choice of whether or not to stay sober. After all, one quits addiction to fulfill and prolong life. Shouldn’t global eradication from above negate the 12-step program? 4:44 brings a surprisingly human aspect to a genre that normally is reserved for explosions and Bruce Willis one-liners. The spirit of the characters comes through the screen as completely genuine and real. This one is for the artsy, deep-thinking film goer.

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MOTOREVIEW: TOYOTA PRIUS FOR THE ECO-FRIENDLY LATTE LOVERS By David Goodspeed – comments@blitzweekly.com The newest member if the Toyota Prius hybrid family has arrived – the Prius c. The “c” refers to city, where the new compact hybrid’s use is primarily intended. Aimed towards urbanite millennials, Prius c offers Toyota’s Synergy Hybrid gas/electric drive technology in a more compact package. Prius c is a “two-thirds” scale model of the original Prius hatchback styled in a small sportwagon design. Joining fellow Prii (the chosen plural form for the moniker) Prius, Prius v, and Prius Plug-In, Prius c allows drivers to operate the vehicle in EV-only or combined gasoline and electric power. The combustion engine component for the Prius c shrinks to 1.5-liters but is still a four-cylinder engine and keeps the Atkinson cycle design complete with DOHC and Variable-Valve Timing with intelligence. Electric power comes from a smaller motor receiving energy from a more compact Nickel-Metal Hydride battery pack of 144 volts and delivering about two-thirds the energy of its larger Prii family members. Toyota states they chose to remain with the NiMH battery composition for its stability and reliability. Total power output from the Prius c Synergy Drive system is 99hp. Big brother Prius offers total output of 134hp from both gas and electric motors but the new Prius

c weighs about 500 pounds less than the larger car. The new model can operate in EV mode up to 25 mph and features a 9.5-gallon fuel tank. The transaxle unit that includes the CVT gearbox is now smaller and more efficient as well and there are no drive belts slowing down the Prius c engine – Toyota engineers have given the little guy an electric power steering pump and electric A/C compressor. The Prius c is the most fuel-efficient of the Prius family and is set to deliver 53 mpg city and 46 mpg highway for a combined EPA rating of 50 mpg. Toyota boasts this is the highest rating for any non-plug-in hybrid vehicle on the market today. Speaking of plug-in, Toyota says they chose not to give Prius c plug-in technology at launch so they could keep weight and pricing to a minimum and packaging as tight as possible. The c will carry four adults fairly comfortably but its intended use amongst city dwellers is apparent when taking it out on the open road. Just trying to merge into swift-moving traffic ahead of 18-wheelers will have you seeking attention from a Higher Power – and it ain’t located under the hood. Around town the vehicle is surprisingly good with good road attributes. Prius c is quiet, especially for a small, boxy unit with an open rear cargo area and offers quite

decent handling and braking characteristics. At launch, Prius c will be offered in four trim levels, numbered accordingly as one, two, three, and (you guessed it) four. The Prius c one is very basic although offers a decent amount of content and is still attractive. Pricing begins at under 19 grand. Toyota expects the bulk of Prius c sales to come from models two and three, with the three offering such amenities as HD and satellite radio, keyless entry and start as well as Toyota’s Display Audio with navigation and Entune multi-media system. For comparison sake, Prius c is architecturally related to the Yaris but engineers

have stretched body and wheelbase dimensions on the Prius c a few inches in each direction. In Europe, Prius c will actually be known as the Yaris Hybrid. Toyota Prius models have accounted for 50 percent of hybrid vehicle sales over the past decade and the automaker expects to sell some 220,000 Prii family members this year alone. The new Prius c should be very well received by city dwellers seeking efficient packaging of versatility and technology and with the continued advancements in hybrid technology it would not surprise me to see a plug-in variant in the near(ish) future.

HANDPRESSO AUTO Don’t have time to make yourself a proper cup of coffee before you head out for the day? Use the Handpresso Auto to brew up a jolting shot of espresso from the comfort of the driver’s seat. Powered by your car’s 12V cigarette lighter, the Handpresso takes water and E.S.E. coffee pods, and lets you know when your drink is ready with three audible beeps, so you don’t need to take your eyes off the road. You now have something more dangerous than texting on 635 in the rain to do in the car. Price: $200

GAMEREVIEW OF STARHAWK BETA By Ashly Anderson – www.almostnerdy.com

8 out of 10 VISIT US ONLINE AT WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

Console: PS3 Rating: T Developers: Lightbox Interactive

For whatever reason, I’m a huge fan of public beta tests. Of anything, really. But especially video games (surprise!). When I found out that Starhawk was going to have a public beta, I was stoked, especially considering the fact that it’s half-RTS, half-TPS. My impressions so far have been extremely positive. Although many of the games vehicles are missing – thereby placing less emphasis on the vehicular combat aspect – there are enough present in the current beta build to allow for an overarching view of how the game will play out at retail. The biggest change from the game’s spiritual predecessor, “Warhawk,” is the inclusion of a game mechanic called “Build n’ Battle.” The BnB system is extremely intuitive and easy to use, and the strategy that blossoms from it is incredible. Each player on

the two teams competing gathers energy from a core that is positioned in their base. When enough energy is gathered, the player can then call in a number of buildings to support their team. Vehicle depots, defensive turrets, and flight pads are just a few examples of the variety. Combat itself is fast-paced and exciting. The controls are, at this point in time, easy to learn and work well with each of the different vehicles. One of the most welcome aspects of this game is that a skilled player is just as deadly on foot as they are in a vehicle, which makes this title a true hybrid rather than a copycat of any number of vehicular combat games. Starhawk is shaping up to be one of the most exciting launch titles of the second quarter, and I can’t wait to see how it turns out at retail.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

Q What do Q: b blonde virgins e eat? A A: Baby food. Q Q: Did you h hear about the a astronaut who s stepped on cchewing gum? A A: He got stuck in O Orbit! Q Q: What’s the w worst news a about being a ttest tube baby? A A: You know for ssure that your dad is a wanker.

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

BLITZ FUNNYS

Girlfriend In The Car A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the man’s friend, Dave, and his girlfriend kissing one another. The bartender shook his head and walked back inside. He told the drunk that he thought it might be a good idea to check on his girlfriend. The fellow staggered outside to the car, saw his buddy and his girlfriend kissing, then walked back into the bar laughing. “What’s so funny?” the bartender asked. “That stupid Dave!” the fellow chortled, “He’s so drunk, he thinks he’s me!”

ARIES A March 21 – April 19 M TThis week will usher in a new era of prosperity and success, which is only p fair considering what will happen to yyou next week. TTAURUS April 20 – May 20 A You will belatedly realize that you are Y part of the problem when you board the DART rail leaving downtown Dallas traveling at 35 miles per hour. D GEMINI G May 21 – June 21 M After all is said and done and all A has been done and said, no one will want to have anything to do with you anyways.

Justice is Blind, Maybe Stupid March 11, 2011, U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales went berserk and murdered 16 helpless civilians in two Afghanistan villages; nine were children, three were women. Now compare that to the My Lai Massacre in Vietnam, March 16, 1968, led by U.S. Army Second Lieutenant William Calley. He ordered his 11th Brigade to murder and mutilate between 347 and 504 helpless villagers, mostly women, children, infants and elderly. Calley himself was given a life sentence, but only spent three and a half years under house arrest.

CANCER C JJune 22 – July 22 Studies indicate that Colombia has S tthe highest murder rate in all of the Americas and this might be true, eexcept for the place where you will be at tomorrow at noon. a LLEO JJuly 23 – August 22 Congratulations! You have been sselected as the site for the 2013 SausageFest! S VIRGO V August 23 – September 22 A Although it is pointless to worry about dying before your time, you’ve always been ahead of schedule.

Women Dating/Mating Themselves The March 2011 issue of the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy released a new study on exercise-induced orgasms and sexual pleasure for women, linked to “limbering up” abdominal muscle. Meaning, perhaps, just maybe ...for maximum intimate pleasure, a woman might have more fun in the gym …than getting naked with “Mr. Wonderful.” A Stolen Identity When a New York City woman, Anna Vargas, applied for a marriage license, she was rejected, told records indicated she was already married. Investigating on her own, Vargas soon learned she had three husbands; one of which sued her for divorce, until he realized the woman he’d married was not her.

LLIBRA September 23 – October 22 S You never would have expected to Y hhave your own “Happy Meal” named after you. SCORPIO S October 23 – November 21 O TThe beer gods will command you to perform the labors of Josh “The Drunk” and visit every happy hour on Greenville Avenue next Friday.

AQUARIUS A 20 – February 18 JJanuary a Your future is wide open; the sky is the Y as long as you can accomplish llimit… i that goal in no more than two days! th

SAGITTARIUS S November 22 – December 21 N RRemember that doing the right thing iisn’t is s nearly as important as whether or not others think you’re cool.

ACROSS: 1. Welsh dog 6. Leave in a hurry 10. Desire 14. Scallion 15. Margarine 16. Religious sisters 17. Making an assertion against 19. God of love 20. Move unsteadily 21. Mayday 22. British title 23. Seizes 25. Governs 26. Not first 30. Nuclear 32. Pardon 35. Adorable 39. Unhealthy vapors 40. Votes that block a decision

41. Christening 43. Experienced 44. Acid neutralizer 46. Apollo astronaut Slayton 47. Condiment 50. Pasture 53. Used to be 54. Female sib 55. Fleet 60. Therefore 61. Pronounced 63. Place 64. End ___ 65. A simple seat 66. Not more 67. Departed 68. Metal DOWN: 1. Jacket 2. A single time

CAPRICORN C December 22 – January 19 D You feel as if you’re under the Y microscope, which is only partially m true, you’re just incubating in a test tube.

PISCES P FFebruary 19 – March 20 TThe stars, from their perspective feel tthat h your life needs no changes.

3. Type of cereal grass 4. Urarthritis 5. Map within a map 6. Drunkard 7. Wardrobe 8. Spray can 9. Playthings 10. Illiterate 11. Not urban 12. Dwarf 13. S S S S 18. Genus of macaws 24. K 25. Stud 26. Young sheep 27. Dogfish 28. Break 29. Possessing a hard shell 31. Relocate 33. Grin 34. Chore

36. Drill 37. An escape of water 38. Feudal worker 42. A member of the Cosa Nostra 43. Compete 45. Be attentive to 47. Increase in size 48. Eagle’s nest 49. Prods 51. Varnish ingredient 52. Put on clothes 54. Cozy 56. General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade 57. Double-reed woodwind 58. Blackthorn 59. Scream 62. Fury

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MARCH 28 – APRIL 3,, 2012

THE CLOSER

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

COMICS IN REVIEW: THE SINGULARITY, ISSUE #1 By Mateeka Lanee’ – Mateekalanee.wordpress.com .com

Abbot Ale Brewed by: Greene King / Morland Brewery ABV: 5.00% This brew showed up in the form of a can and poured a nice amber color with a light tan head. It also has lots of lacing and great carbonation. Hints of caramel and lightly roasted malt are noticeable. As far as taste is concerned the malt and caramel come through nicely, there’s a bit of bitterness towards the end. It’s a good English Pale Ale and well worth trying. VegaFina Sumum Edicion Especial 2010 Wrapper: Ecuadorian Cubano Binder: Santa Domingo Filler: Nicaraguan, Dominican, Peruvian Strength: Medium Bodied The wrapper is chocolate brown with very few flaws and evenly packed. Upon first draw there is an earthiness flavor that eventually gives way to a hint of a coffee flavor. The second third and rest of the cigar produces a stronger coffee flavor gaining a bit in strength. The flavors aren’t very complex but are refined. Overall it’s a good solid smoke.

n the fictional planet Rixard, a near-depletion of natural resources has led the military to invade a foreign planet, causing violence and an opportunity for a lone hero to shine. Here, the hero Virgil steps up to single-handedly run down the planet’s opposition and save the day, all while laughing in their faces. Such is the plot of The Singularity #1, the first issue of the series from comic commentator/bloggers Ethan Harmon, and artist Chris Gooding. The story follows the tactics of Rixard’s military unit, the Rognark Elite, as they battle in the name of Singular, the planet’s High Ruler. As a member of the Elite, Virgil is a classic case of smartass ultra-intelligence, in the same vein as hero titans Tony Stark and SpiderMan. Sporting a high-tech suit of armor, he is able to outmaneuver his Haze Empire opponents, and biological talents allow for some supernatural battle techniques. Virgil alone steps forth to handle the bulk of Elite’s action panels, an accomplishment that eventually leads to his being promoted to Captain of his own battle ship. Overall, the comic’s most interesting elements lie in the details: high-concept black and white digital imagery, bionic weaponry, and an

Foxfire Blitz Ingredients: 1/4 oz Vodka 1/4 oz 151 Proof Rum 1/2 oz Peppermint Schnapps 1/4 oz Jagermeister Herbal Liqueur Mixing Instructions: Shake ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into shot glass(es).

Name: Elena Cone How You Know Her: Standing behind the lens capturing the moments of some of the coolest people and places around the world. With one click of her camera she can upgrade your style tenfold. She is uncommonly good. A t ork Artwork Artw k by by Chris C Chhris h i Gooding Goodi Goo ding g

ultra-modern urban setting llead l d b d to much of its richness, while its use of character comedy and dynamic action move it forward at a quick pace. Writer Ethan Harmon serves as part of the comic critic circle CEL-Studios, whose partner blog Invincible Nerds reviews comics and hosts comic-related podcasts. The comic is available for free digital download through indyplanet.com, a link for which is available at cel-studios.com.

What brought you to modeling and then photography? I consider myself an attractive woman and wanted to start modeling but I didn’t not like how the photographer took my pictures. So, I started shooting myself and I liked the way it looked so I figured that I could start photographing other people too. Who is your style icon? I really don’t have any famous icon. I started modeling and there were several people I truly adored but they weren’t famous, although, they are probably getting famous now. After modeling a while, I wanted to know all there was about it; either being in front of the camera or behind. I wanted to show people that they could be beautiful in any form. What’s better...being in front of the lens or behind it? I hated being a model; that’s why I’m very kind and sympathetic towards my models because I know what it feels like. I shoot a lot of people from political figures, to actors, to models. I like to work with beginner models because I like to help give them confidence. 99.9% of people are not confortable when you are pointing a camera at them, all their insecurities come out. What I learned is that I can talk to you and in about 15-20 minutes you’ll be fine. If you could have a photo shoot with anyone in history who would it be and why? Probably Sophia Loren. She is so beautiful and so different that it doesn’t matter what’s going on around her. Are pictures really worth a thousand words? Yes. What’s the coolest thing that you own? My cat is the coolest thing I own. His name is Gucci. My Cat! His name is Gucci and he is 12 years old. He is a Siamese cat and I brought him with me from Russia. What’s the most picturesque place in Dallas? Lake Grapevine in Fort Worth when the sun is setting. With all the beautiful colors gleaming over the horizon it looks like it’s heaven. Tell us a secret My life is all on Facebook [laughing].

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 29

MARCH 28 – APRIL 3, 2012

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