VOL. 3 - ISSUE 34
3
BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: Sarah Jaffe 5 Mavs/Vigilantes News 6-7 Rangers News 8 BLITZ BABE: Kayla 9 COVER STORY: Fishing Stories Fishin’ And Clammin’ 10 Fish Story 10 West Coast Fishery Blues 11 Crawfish 101: Learn The Facts 12 Get Your Mudbug On! 13 UFC 129 Preview 14 Cowboys Reload 14 Blitz Toys 15 Health & Fitness 15 The Lion And The Neighbor 16 Mind Games 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Can This Job Be Saved? 18 Last Call: Here’s A Tip 19 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jeff Putnam PHOTO EDITOR Darryl Briggs COVER Cover Photography: Deborah Chetwood STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors, Matt Pearce CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Yu-Ping Chen, Deborah Chetwood, Mike Cline, Wendi Dunlap, Manny Flores, Allen Lew, Chad J. McNeeley, M. Minderhoud, Guy Rogers, Stu Spivack, Jon Sullivan, Tricia Wang, KLaCombe, Tristanb, Wakalani STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Dennis Hambright, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Hannah Allen, Brian Beard, Raymond Bloomquist, Adam Bruster, Jim Hanigan, Andrew J. Hewett, Jack L. Pier, Jon Sullivan CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com
BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029
Andrew J. Hewett
www.chewednews.com
Fries with that?
An Old Hickory church is offering a drivethru Good Friday service until midnight. North Point Community Church is set up inside a former bank building on Donelson Avenue. From midnight Thursday to midnight Friday, people can drive up to the building to drop a burden or sin at the first window. Then they can pull up to the second window and receive a blessing. “We want people to know we care because we know Jesus,” said church member Lee Fesler. The church hopes to offer the service each year.
More white powder in Alaska
An Alaska Airlines jet was evacuated Friday afternoon at the Orange County, Calif., airport after a suspicious powder was reported in a lavatory. It turned out to be toilet paper remnants, NBC News reported. A flight attendant aboard Flight 508, which originated in Seattle, discovered a tissue containing a “white dust.” The flight crew radioed ahead to John Wayne Airport and the plane was met by a hazardous materials team, Egan said. The 151 passengers and six crew members evacuated safely. The material appears to be remnants of toilet paper, said Rachel Gibson, airport spokeswoman. The plane was to be returned to service after the cabin was cleaned.
Going my way?
A man on the run from police, wanted for breaking into a pickup truck, ran right into them in Salisbury. Police said 21-year-old Joseph Dastous is one of the world’s dumbest crooks. “Usually they run from you,” Chief Richard Merrill said. It started on John and Donna Sanborn’s farm, where Dastous allegedly tried to steal their truck. “I grabbed hold of him with my left hand, hit him with my right and pulled him out of the truck,” John Sanborn said. Dastous ran away, across the field and toward the highway where Chief Merrill, driving his unmarked cruiser, spotted the suspect and pulled over. “He thought it was actually someone stopping to give him a ride,” Merrill said. Dastous actually jumped into the back seat of the cruiser before realizing he’d just made a big mistake. “He looked up at me and said, ‘You look familiar.’ I said I should look familiar. I’m the chief of police,” Merrill said. Back at the farm, the Sanborns were relieved to hear he was arrested and a little surprised. “I thought it was pretty good. I didn’t expect it to be that easy,” Sanborn said.
RICH V-A-N-I-T-Y
The Arabic newspaper Al Sharq reported April 12, 2011 a Qatari national had paid the equivalent of $3,761,570 USD at an auction for the license plate number 55555. Bidding, which began the previous Sunday, started at 4 million riyals ($1.1 million USD). FYI, the world’s most expensive license plate ever contains only the number “1.” It was auctioned in 2008 to a UAE businessman, Saeed Abdul Ghafour Khouri, who paid 52.2 million dirhams ($14.3 million USD).
IT STICKS WITH YOU
The strongest adhesives known to mankind are cyanoacrylates, made from methyl-2-cyanoacrylate, invented by Dr. Harry Wesley Coover, Jr., in 1942. Seven decades later, be you a doctor sealing surgical wounds, an aircraft builder installing windows, or someone with a broken dinner plate, most folks use this tenacious connector, today known as superglue.
VERY SIMPLE INTERNET
From Tbilisi, Georgia, April 8, 2011, the Associated Press reported Aiyastan Shakaryan, 75, had disrupted all computer Internet service “in much of Georgia and all of Armenia for several hours.” Authorities said the copper cable she cut and scavenged for resale could mean three years in prison. (Anush Begloyan, spokeswoman for Armenia’s largest Internet service provider, Armentel, said the incident “forces our company to think about diversifying our channels.”)
www.blitzweekly.com
Copyright 2011 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www.blitzweekly.com.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK “If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church.” – Tom Brokaw
4
HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Vin Diesel
by Vivian Fullerlove
The Fast and The Furious is without a doubt one of my favorite film franchises. I mean, what’s not to love. Lots of action, lots of really cool cars that go really fast, and LOTS of Hollywood hotties driving those really fast, really cool cars! Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Tyrese Gibson and Jordana Brewster are back for the fifth installment and they have added the oh so amazing Dwayne Johnson. Fast Five finds Brian (Walker) and Mia (Brewster) on the run after having helped Dom (Diesel) escape from jail. They are in Rio de Janeiro and are faced with pulling off that “one last job” to ensure their freedom. With a corrupt businessman on one side and a hard-nosed federal agent, played by Johnson, on the other, an all-out assault tears through the streets of Brazil to capture them. This time around Vin Diesel isn’t only starring in the high-octane hit, but he is also one of the film’s producers. I sat down with Diesel to discuss the film and the enduring popularity of the franchise. Just when you think this cast can’t get any hotter, any more exciting, you bring in Dwayne Johnson! How did he become a part of this installment and what does that add to the franchise? Not only were Dwayne and I talking about doing something together for years. Not only is it obvious that there is a fantastical element to taking whatever action heroes you have on the table in your era and potentially the two biggest ones, and the two guys who represent formidability, and putting them together—that’s fun for any audience member. That’s fun for cinema. The fact that there’s the fight scene between Dom and Hobbs, that’s an event in cinema, let alone just The Fast and the Furious— that’s just too juicy and too much fun.
“Entertainment’s Real Critic”
But the action is still off the charts. I hear audiences have a real treat with this one scene involving a not-so-oldfashioned train robbery? It was an attempt for us to one-up the classic stagecoach train robbery sequences that we are all too familiar with. We wanted to do our Fast and Furious version of that without horses but with a whole lotta horsepower. And you can’t talk about FF without talking about the cars which have really become as much a part of the movie as the cast. The thing I liked is this is the first Fast and Furious where Paul and I are driving the same cars, the Chargers. And more importantly, [this is] the first car that I’ve ever driven in Fast and Furious that is available to the public. No other car I’ve ever driven has been available to the public except this one; so, it will be interesting to see what happens. Why do you think people love these films so much? It’s always fun to see Brian and Dom working together. It just is. It’s fun to see them get in their Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid zone. It’s the only thing in modern film that shows anything like that where you feel this is a complex situation, but they’re brothers. They have issues, but they’re brothers. If you want to check out Fast Five, the film opens nationwide this week. It is rated PG13 for Intense Sequences of Violence and Action, Sexual Content and Language. Guys, this will be good payback for your girlfriends dragging you all to see Water for Elephants last week!
by Jon Sullivan – movietobo.com
SCRE4M I love the original Scream as much as the next horror fan. Released in 1996, it was a breath of fresh air that was not only scary, but actually said some interesting things about the genre. Fifteen years later, and eleven years after the last sequel, Scream 4 has been unleashed in an effort to get people excited about the exploits of Ghostface once again...and it fails. Tremendously. With the marketing touting “new decade, new rules” as one of its taglines, you would expect Wes Craven and crew to do something different, to take some chances. Instead, in the way it plays it is almost identical to the other sequels—which is good, I guess, if you are fanatical about the original Scream trilogy, but terrible for the rest of us who want to, you know, be entertained. The story revolves around Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) returning to Woodsboro to promote her self-help book and running into old pals Dewey (David Arquette, the only one who isn’t irritating) and Gale (Courtney Cox). Things can’t just be normal though and soon enough someone dons the Ghostface costume and starts killing people anew and a whole new generation of teenagers are at risk (including Sidney’s cousin Jill, played by Emma Roberts). Save for a somewhat interesting twist at the end, Scream 4 just goes through the motions of its predecessors: Ghostface calls
Dallas Polo Club
L E A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG
C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1
EXAM, X-RAY & CLEANING
$50.00
1614 E. Beltline Rd. Carrollton, Texas 75006 972-466-0077 www.beltlinesmilecenter.com
selected victims then stabs them to death. People snark about horror franchises in an effort to make the movie “cool,” yadda yadda, but while Scream 4 references how horror movies have changed with the endless cycle of reboots and the emergence of Saw and found footage films like Paranormal Activity, these are just snarky talking points, the changes themselves have been ignored. Ultimately the movie is trying to make us buy into the idea that its stylized creepiness should be a template for the horror genre. To do so, however, it would have us ignore aspects of today’s reality that inspire fear in favor of a recognizable, cartoon reality that inspires a level of comfort (as does the roadrunner) because the outcome can be so easily predicted. So even though it’s 2011, this feels like a relic from the 90s, outdated and uninteresting. Instead of changing the genre the way the original did, Scream 4 is happy to cash in on nostalgia, counting on people to adore the series as much as the filmmakers had hoped. It’s a scareless horror movie that does bring the blood, but doesn’t bring much else. If you are a Scream aficionado I’d avoid this—it’ll probably just throw you into a fit of rage. If you’ve never seen the Scream movies, see the first three (okay, first TWO) instead. Don’t let this lazy retread rob you of your money.
5
Sarah Jaffe
by Jack L. Pier
“An Ear for Music”
Local (Folk) Pop Artist offers versatile Live Performances
Wed 4/27
Federico Garcia Lorca’s Yerma SMU’s Owen Art Center – Dallas Long banned by Franco, this is the second passionate work in the trilogy that began with Blood Wedding. Like Spain, the work is many things: classical, modern, and explosive.
Thur 4/28
Fast Lane Dallas Arboretum – Dallas A Dallas tradition: fun music in gorgeous surroundings. See the Arboretum’s website for the rain plan and other info. This concert is an Eagle’s tribute: you’re gonna love it.
Fri 4/29
Sat 4/30
Shirley MacLaine Bass Performance Hall – Fort Worth Her opinions may be outrageous and her lifestyle loopy but her talents are undeniable. She’s been an enigma for half a century and this is your chance to check her out.
Sun 5/1 MUSIC: Sarah Jaffe 1. Clementine
Suburban Nature, 2010
2. Vulnerable
Suburban Nature, 2010
3. A Sucker For Your Marketing
(currently unreleased)
4. Even Born Again
Even Born Again EP, 2008
5. Nurture It
Suburban Nature, 2010
6. Before You Go
Suburban Nature, 2010
7. Swelling
Suburban Nature, 2010
8. Better Than Nothing
Suburban Nature, 2010
9. Stay With Me
Suburban Nature, 2010
10. Tunnelvisionary – featuring Sarah Jaffe
Flowers of God (digital release), 2010
Denton Art and Jazz Festival Quakertown Park – Denton You’ve got from 11 in the morning to 9 at night to appreciate an “incredible pool of professionals and amateurs” and it’s all in a good cause.
Mon 5/2
resist videotaping one of my favorite new songs: “A Sucker For Your Marketing,” which I uploaded to You Tube (http:// www.youtube.com/jackpier) if you’d like to check it out. I also explained to my daughter that when you attend multiple performances, you get to experience different lineups of the musicians the artist works with. For instance, both violinist/vocalist Becki Howard and guitarist/vocalist Robert Gomez were present for the Wyly Theatre gig, but Robert had his own showcase at SXSW so he couldn’t make the Ghost Room gig and Becki only sang backup on one song at the Club Dada gig. At the Good Records appearance, neither could make it and an organist was added. So, you never quite know what to expect, just that you’re sure to enjoy it. At Saturday’s show at Club Dada, Sarah lent her vocal cords to another local band (from South Oak Cliff) called The Flowers of God. About halfway through their song “Tunnelvisionary” she comes in with a verse that sounds as sweet as a Petula Clark hit from the 60s. I was fortunate enough to capture this performance on video, as well as a solo performance of “Nurture It” (also available on the You Tube channel shown above). Sarah’s debut LP did so well, her label re-released her 2008 debut EP Even Born Again on March 8th and she is hitting the road with the Old 97’s in May and CentroMatic in June and July. Check sarahjaffe. com or kirtlandrecords.com for cities and dates, and don’t miss an opportunity to catch her act. I guarantee you’ll see the talent I’m talking about… and don’t be surprised if you turn into a fanboy (or fangirl) too!
Poetics of Modernism/Postmodernism Paperbacks Plus – Dallas A series of lectures sponsored by the Writers Garret; go to as many as you can and get involved. Presently exploring women poets of the last century; open to writers and readers.
Tues 5/3
“Again? You’re going to see Sarah Jaffe again? Didn’t you just see her? You’re such a Fanboy!” This is what I hear from my fifteen-year-old daughter upon learning I was heading out to Club Dada in Deep Ellum last Saturday night. Well, facts are facts, so it’s hard to argue… but I try to explain... “When you recognize true talent, invest your time in seeing an artist mature and feel that in some small, small way you’re helping them live their dream, it makes witnessing those ‘live’ performances pretty special.” I predicted big things for Sarah in my May 26th, 2010 article: “Sarah Jaffe – Birth of a (Folk) Pop Star,” where I mention seeing her twice at her CD Release parties (Suburban Nature – Kirtland Records). Since then, I’ve seen her a half-dozen times, from appearances at Good Records for record store day in Lower Greenville… to small hole in the wall joints like The Ghost Room in Austin, TX for SXSW… and finally, on the well-lit stage of the Wyly Theatre in the Dallas Arts District—which, by the way, was a Sold Out show. I also caught her again at Dan’s Silver Leaf in Denton and at the Fall Indie Fest in Grand Prairie back in October. The good news is she has a new DVD coming out this fall: The Way Sound Leaves a Room, which will include some of her new songs performed at the aforementioned Wyly Theatre. When I attended this show, I didn’t have tickets and got there early to see if I could find some. After asking around, none other than the president of Kirtland Records himself, John Kirtland, walked up to me and handed me two second row, center seats. Now that’s taking care of your fans! Despite the fact I knew they were recording for the DVD, I couldn’t
Billy Joe Shaver Granada Theater – Dallas Texas blues legend Billy Joe will be appearing with the Trishas and the Will Callers. His songs are flooded with a lifetime of experience: be there.
$5 Drinks and Dining One Arts Plaza – Dallas Screen Door, Jorge’s, Fedora and Tei-An will offer appetizers and cocktails for just $5. Explore this new addition to the Arts District and start your evening here from 4 p.m.
If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com
6
MAVS News
by Geoff Case
“NBA Analyst”
Mavs keep playing tough The Mavericks have been on the wrong end of many playoff debacles but losing a 23-point lead in Game Four is pretty much inexcusable. This was the greatest playoff meltdown since Game Three of the 2006 NBA Finals. “We’ve been through tough losses before,” Mavs coach Rick Carlisle said. “It’s not easy, but for us, we’ve got to get back on the plane, back home and study some of the things that went wrong.” Dallas is only the third team in the shot-clock era to lose when leading by 18 or more going into the fourth quarter of a playoff game. The others are New Jersey in 2002 and Houston in 1994. “In the playoffs, this is definitely up there, because there is a huge difference from being up 3-1 and 2-2,” Dirk Nowitzki said when asked about the magnitude of the loss. “This is definitely up there with the most frustrating losses. But like I said, we have to shake it off.” The Mavs were in control of Game Four going into the fourth quarter. A 3-1 series lead and a closeout game Monday night back for a spot in the Western Conference semifinals in Dallas seemed inevitable. It’s something that can’t be considered a fluke with this team. We’ve seen this team fall asleep at the wheel with big leads all season. No one thought they would do the same in the playoffs where keeping up the intensity and effort shouldn’t be an issue. The other issue is that the Mavericks are so one-dimensional offensively, relying on Jason Terry and Dirk Nowitzki shooting jumpers. In basketball, the flow of the game can easily take shooters out of the game. When those shooters go cold the Mavericks don’t have any other way to get buckets. The Mavericks have painstakingly tried to find another superstar to pair with Nowitzki, but have failed, so they must complement him with a barrage of solid players. Nowitzki, for one, feels Terry is most equipped to do that
job most nights. “I feel like sometimes JET … he relaxes until the fourth quarter and then he decides to turn it on,” Nowitzki said. While the Mavericks have had success with the “committee” approach against Portland, they are going to have to find a way to score points in the paint against the other Western Conference teams. One of the key needs for the Mavs in this series is keep finding scoring sidekicks for Dirk Nowitzki. It was Jason Kidd in Game One, Peja Stojakovic in Game Two and Jason Terry in Game Three. No one really stepped up in Game Four. Tyson Chandler left his mark on Game Five with some stellar defense and 20 beastly rebounds. Now the series is 3-2, with momentum squarely behind the Mavs. They need to figure out a way to close it out against the Blazers which has been the Mavs problem throughout the series. Every time it feels like the Mavs can deal a crushing blow, they relax and Portland takes advantage. The other key factor is the Mavericks have got to keep Tyson Chandler out of foul trouble. The Mavs can play elite defense with Chandler on the floor and they’ll need every minute of it if they want to make it past the first round and beyond. Chandler was strapped with foul trouble for much of the first round picking up tons of ticky-tacky calls. He’ll need to clean those up because it’s obvious what a difference he makes when he’s on the court. History is certainly on Dallas’ side to pull out the series. Of the previous 157 series tied at two, the Game Five winner has come out on top 83 percent of the time. The Mavs must keep in mind that history is almost never really on their side in these cases (see Miami and Golden State), fight for every possession and take care of the basketball.
7 by Raymond Bloomquist
Vigilantes News
Crossword Solution
“Arena Football Fanatic”
SO FAR SO GOOD 4 VIGILANTES
Seven weeks into the 18-week Arena Football League schedule, the Dallas Vigilantes find themselves in first place in the league’s Central Division. Dallas’ 4-2 record has already bettered the team’s inaugural season mark, when the Vigilantes limped to the finish line with a 3-13 overall record. Last weekend the Vigilantes picked up their first road victory of the year by downing the Tampa Bay Storm, 67-61. That game has quickly become one of the league’s best rivalries, with former Storm owner Woody Kern now owning the Vigilantes and the many connections between the two franchises. With the win, not only did Dallas eclipse its win total from last season, but it put the AFL on notice that Clint Dolezel’s squad is for real and will contend for a spot in the league’s postseason tournament. “I like the way that the season’s gone so far,” said Dolezel, the Vigilantes’ firstyear coach and a former AFL quarterback. “The two losses could easily be wins, but those are mistakes we can clean up. Our defense has played well and allowed our quarterback to be able to continue to develop.” The Vigilantes are led under center by quarterback Daniel Raudabaugh, a Coppell native. On the season Raudabaugh, who is in a starting role for the first time this season, has completed 104-of-172 passes (60.5%) for 1,422 yards and 24 touchdowns. The lone blemish on this season’s resume for Raudabaugh are his nine interceptions. Six of those interceptions came in Dallas’ two losses this season. “If we can stay away from the turnovers, we’re fine,” Dolezel said. “Luckily those are areas that we should be able to correct. If we can get comfortable with what we’re doing, throwing and catching the ball should be easy.”
The Vigilantes also have the luxury of having the best running game in the league. Though the AFL is not necessarily set up to have a ground attack, the Vigilantes have been able to take advantage of the talents of fullback Derrick Ross. Ross leads the AFL with 263 rushing yards and 13 touchdowns. Defensively Dallas has been able to rely on a heavy pass rush and an opportune defense. The Vigilantes forced five turnovers in their win over Tampa Bay, including scoring touchdowns on an interception that was
NBA: Grizzlies vs. Spurs
Wed. April 27 – 7:30PM – AT&T Center – NBATV
The Grizzlies are on their “Shock the Nation” tour. First they won a playoff game in San Antonio, then a first-ever playoff win at home in Game 3. They are young and athletic. As noted here, Zach Randolph is a beast. Can the Spurs defense hang in there? Can they get their offense going?
NBA: Mavericks vs. Trail Blazers Thur. April 28 – 9:30PM – Rose Garden – KTXA21
The Mavs head back to the Northwest and the Rose Garden might be as unwelcoming a venue for them as New Orleans Arena. Last time the Mavs played there Brandon Roy single-handedly won the game for the Trail Blazers. Can the Mavs limit the turnovers and score points in the paint? If so, they should win.
MLB: Rangers vs. Athletics
Fri. April 29 – 9:05PM – Oakland Coliseum – KTXA 21
returned for a score, a bumbled kickoff that was recovered in the end zone for a touchdown, and a missed field goal that was also recovered in the end zone for a score. On the season the Vigilantes are tied for fifth in the league in defensive pass efficiency and are sixth in the AFL with nine interceptions. Rookie defensive back Chris LaFlore leads the team with four interceptions. Dallas also has nine sacks, led by linebacker Dusty Bear’s three. “It’s not been perfect, but I like where we are right now,” Dolezel said. “It’s a long season and we still have many games to play, but I’m confident we will continue to improve and get better. We’re back on the road this week in Kansas City for a big divisional game, and hopefully we can come home with another win and really try to get on a roll.”
The Rangers head out West to start a weekend series with the A’s. They’ll send LHP C.J. Wilson to the mound. He got the win against the Royals last Sunday. The A’s have RHP Trevor Cahill holding court. He has excellent control and doesn’t issue many walks. Let’s hope the Rangers can figure him out and pull out the win.
MLB: Mets vs. Phillies
Sun. May 1 – 7:00PM – Citizens Bank Park – ESPN
Two former Texas Ranger pitchers go at it in prime time. Mets RHP Chris Young is coming back from injury (biceps tendinitis). In two starts this season he has pitched very well, striking out 12 over 12 innings. The Phillies will send LHP Cliff Lee who has also pitched well. He’s produced 27 strikeouts in 25 innings. A pitchers’ duel for sure. The game should go by fast.
RANGERS
MAVS
8
RANGERS News
by Mark Miller
“The Dallasite from the North”
Versatility helps Rangers Last weekend’s sweep of the Kansas City Royals vividly displayed the Texas Rangers’ ability to succeed in a variety of ways. In Game 1, five home runs lifted Texas to an 11-6 victory. The next night was just the opposite as the team had just four hits yet won 3-1. In the finale, it was a combination of both with three home runs and a three-run double in an 8-7 triumph. That left the Rangers at 14-7, best in the American League and second best in the majors. Plus their 10-2 home record entering a four-game series with Toronto topped everyone. “There’s days when we’re scoring well but other days when we don’t get runs and have to rely on pitching and our defense,” said Manager Ron Washington. “We’re very versatile and can win in many ways.
oldest Rangers with saves in back-to-back days against Kansas City. West Coast trip on the horizon After completing their latest homestand with games Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon against Toronto, the Rangers make their first trip to the West coast with four games at Oakland and three at Seattle. This will mark the first time Texas has played the Athletics in 2011. Oakland’s strength is its pitching staff, led by Geo Gonzalez: a 15-game winner last year and 2-1 with a 1.80 earned run average to start this year. Notable also: Trevor Cahill, who has won his first three decisions. While all five starters had ERAs of 3.00 or under and closer Brian Fuentes converted six of his first seven save chances, lack of offense left the A’s at 11-11 through Sunday. No regular is hitting above .259. While new designated hitter Hideki Matsui has tried his best with two homers and 12 runs batted in and left fielder Josh Willingham has contributed three homers and 13 RBI, they’ve been the extent of the offense. The Mariners will be trying to avenge the three-game sweep the Rangers applied in Arlington earlier this month. Seattle entered the week at 8-15 after splitting four games with Oakland. Right-handed starter Michael Pineda has been a bright spot for
Upcoming Schedule: 4/27 Blue Jays 7:05 p.m. 4/28 Blue Jays 1:05 p.m. 4/29 @Athletics 9:05 p.m. 4/30 @Athletics 3:05 p.m. 5/1 @Athletics 3:05 p.m. 5/2 @Athletics 2:35 p.m. 5/3 @Mariners 9:10 p.m. You have to do that.” The Rangers also are in a stretch where they must compete without last year’s American League most valuable player (Josh Hamilton) and rookie of the year (Neftali Feliz). They started 5-5 without Hamilton and 2-0 without Feliz, who went on the 15-day disabled list Saturday with inflammation in his right rotator cuff. Until Feliz returns, it’s “closer by committee,” led by age 40+ left-handers Darren Oliver and Arthur Rhodes who became the
the Mariners, winning three times since losing to Texas on April 5. Right fielder Ichiro Suzuki is off to his usual strong start with a .309 batting average. Utility infielder Adam Kennedy is at .300. So what’s it going to take for the Rangers to play on the road as well as they do at home? “We’ve definitely been comfortable at home but the field is the same on the road,” said second baseman Ian Kinsler. “We just have to attack the game on the road.”
10
Fishin’ and Clammin’
I grew up in Connecticut on the Long Island Sound with a younger brother who would become a world-class athlete. Though he was two years younger we were a formidable pair because he was often first-chosen in sports. But where my brother went on to captain his high school teams, I went away to school and specialized in baseball, my first love, and things like putting the shot in winter track. When I “got my growth” I found myself growing fond of contact sports again. I recall something almost joyous about the way we banged into each other. But I had another side that only my parents and my brother knew about. I liked to go off on bird walks, fishing expeditions and to find and bring home snakes. I rescued birds that had fallen out of nests and some actually survived. The cardinal’s distinctive call— four long whistles and nine short— woke me at six every morning for my expeditions. When the sun was up and the ground warmed, snakes appeared, but they were hard to catch in the morning (if I saw them then at all). Garter snakes and grass snakes were easiest to take. “Black racers” always outran me and seemed to melt away into fields. The few copperheads I came across ran away also and I had the good sense to let them. Fishing was my main activity in “nature.” I had a Humber English bike from the time it was too big for me till it seemed too small with the seat as high as it would go. I also had a loyal Gordon Setter—by general consensus “my dog”—who came along everywhere I went on my bike. Since leashes were unknown, I was proud of “Mac,” who was able to fend off much bigger dogs and was fast enough to keep up with our convertible when all of us went to the beach. I never learned to tie flies, though there were scientist types teaching us how even in the sixth grade. I used worms and caught sunnies and perch. I later learned that these fish were related, just as I learned from my dad that my Humber bike wasn’t better than all the Raleighs the other kids owned: in fact the Humber company had been bought by Raleigh. Anyway, it meant a lot to me that my parents would eat the fish I caught if I cleaned them. In fact, this was the beginning of a personality trait that would lead to me owning and operating a restaurant in the distant future. (Other traits mitigated against staying with that profession!) I still feel one of the reasons we lived near the Sound was my parents’ fondness for “soft-shell” and “hard-shell” clams, as well as the bottom-fish we knew as “flounder.” I now realize that the clams were properly “long-necks” and “quahogs.” The former emitted a jet of water from small holes in the sand when the tide went out and could be had with clamming forks; the latter were at various depths in the mud of the channel. My brother and I had to fill a large pail of each. The hard-shells were taken by feeling around in the channel with our bare feet when the tide was out. With the water near our waists, the clams were sometimes so far down in the mud that we had to put our heads in the water to pull them out. The flounder were caught off an inexpensive rowboat we owned with thick string lines and sinkers. Even then I thought them stupid to be caught by such primitive means. But oh, the taste of the fish we caught when fried later that day by my mother! And the chowders she made of our “hardshells!” And best of all, the taste of the blue-gray clam broth and of the “soft-shells” themselves, held by their necks and dunked in broth and melted butter! In the eyes of friends and neighbors who gathered at our clambakes my brother and I were something like heroes for providing this feast. Being celebrated for winning at sports was nothing compared to this. And the tastes? No food of any kind has ever tasted so good to this day.
FISH STOR
Stories by S
The largemouth bass, Texans’ favorite gamefish, can take five sunfish into its mouth at the same time, and after reading about “greedheads” in the writings of Molly Ivins I went into tag and release mode. I like to tag certain words and images for later release into the wilds of my imagination. And since we’ve heard so much in recent years about a New Gilded Age, I’ve tagged Molly’s kind the “gilded greedheads” and the aquatic species “gilled greedheads.”
The largemouth Bass fights harder than any Texas gamefish with the possible exception of the smallmouth. Both are good eating.
The modus vivendi for each is much the same. They don’t do much of anything, but they’re lying in wait. Then in the time it takes to burst a bubble, pop!—they’ve swallowed whatever it was that caught their eye. Yeah, I’m talking about both kinds of greedhead, but the gilded kind is more advanced than his gilled counterpart because he knows that all that glitters is not gold. Or at least he’s supposed to. So there he is, you can picture him, waiting in the weeds at the bottom of a lake, or under a ledge, or behind a deadhead that doesn’t get around much anymore. But murk is the main reason his prey comes near—murk helps all
parties to the survival struggle equally. Which brings us to transparency, an issue that concerns all of us in the New Gilded Age, whether we’re cannibals or scavengers, gilded or gilled. Much as those of us whose heads are only mildly afflicted with the greed disease would like our water to sparkle with clarity—unpolluted, drinkable, and full of quick little trout— greedheads like their water murky. And we make excuses for them. “Hey, they’re people just like us. We wouldn’t pick a blind man’s pocket, or take food from a starving man, or mug a toddler or an elderly person.” Still, we’ve been willing to let the big fish gobble up everything in sight and no one is talking about rounding them up— no, I don’t mean to slaughter ’em, just to put ’em in pens for a while and send a message. It’s laziness, you bet, but there’s another reason we’re not paying attention. Greedheads hate clarity and murkiness is all they know. Their lives are ruled by the next little glimmer that speaks to them out of the murk. In fact, if there’s too much clarity in their immediate vicinity they’ve got no excuse to sit around and wait. They’ll eat everything in sight and start going hungry. But surely they’ll stop polluting the air, we think, because they have to breathe it too, and surely they’ll stop polluting the water because they too like to eat the fish in it. And surely they don’t want to screw us out of our houses and our jobs because in spite of living in fortresses surrounded by armed guards and going around in public behind tinted glass, they aren’t invisible. Sooner or later they’re going to want to go fishing or take in a show—and look what happened to Lincoln! Please, I’m not suggesting we start tracking them (much as we’d like to know them better) or shooting them on sight. But I am suggesting we give a think to what it’s like when a Florida largemouth bass (or one from Texas) starts swimming up the Magagua-
davic River in New Br where I’ve got property so prized here in Texas, invasive species by our you believe it? Outlawe our beloved bass are the Magaguadavic and
New Brunswic
• Moose cause a lo dian highways. Up twice as big as you them to get out of small truck will pas and their massive b cab along with you will survive.) At so you stop near a mo
• There are ATMs all Canadians are hon boy scouts all the the startled Rip va may find deep in are some of the fr earth. Texans of may recognize fac New Brunswickers
• Many Acadians (n transported from long ago. Those le ferent from their h in the American So find them almost p won with courtesy English. (N.B. is C province.)
• First Nation Peop have given their na mountains and ev You cannot prono Digdeguash is Dig Ask.
RY
Sam Chase
“Culture Warrior”
runswick (not far from y). Because these bass, , have been declared an r Canadian friends. Can ed! Because as we speak working their way up even though their little
runswick Travel Tips
ot of deaths on Canap close they are about u thought. Don’t expect f the way. Your car or ss right beneath them bodies will take off the ur head. (The moose ome times of year if oose, it may charge.
l over the place and onest—they’ve been eir lives. In spite of an Winkle look you n the woods, these riendliest people on Scot-Irish descent ces from home but s’ bodies are smaller.
never Cajuns!) were this Province not so eft behind are quite difhard-partying relatives outh. Americans might prim, but they’re easily and almost all speak Canada’s only bilingual
ple (never “Indians”) ames to towns, rivers, verything in between. ounce these names. ggity-wash. ’Nuff said?
Salmon fishing in New Brunswick. (Half of the Atlantic
Salmon caught in North America are caught here.) If you’re a greedhead, reps from one of hundreds of fishing lodges or camps will meet you at the airport, probably at Presque Isle, Maine, and convey you to your lodgings, where you’ll be fussed over by cooing New Brunswick women in native dress (denim or the equivalent). Not only will they take care of your licenses, fishing tackle, waders, etc., but they will decorticate your lobster and chew the tough part for you (tail). Ordinary travelers will fly to Bangor, rent a Buick from Avis, drive the “Airline” (US 9) to the border crossing at Milltown or Calais and take the beautiful new superhighway to Fredericton. From there one could proceed directly to a lodge that has been rented in advance or across to the East Coast where cheap motels abound. (Shediac is the “Lobster Capital of the World” and boasts a giant statue of the crustacean.) Most fishing camps offer guided daytrips of varying length, including a shore lunch, for a very low price. All fishing trips in New Brunswick are guided except on “Fish New Brunswick” days, which are June 4 and June 5 of this year. brains don’t know it, they aren’t going to find uninhabitable headwaters or seasonal freshets at the end of their journey, they’re going to find a beautiful big lake. To our largemouths, Lake Magaguadavic must be something like what California once was for landlubbers after a long overland journey full of extreme heat and cold. But I suspect New Brunswickers are rankled by more than the thought of our iron-a$$ed bass having a cushy life in one of their big lakes: it’s all the Atlantic salmon and native species that disappeared on their way there, even the fierce little chain pickerel. Still, down there in the lake murk, our bass don’t seem to be eating each other. (Happy ending?) But what about the gilded greedheads, the big appetites on two legs? Is there a California big enough to keep them happy for a while? And since they’ve mastered the Esperanto of devouring and digestion, are nooks and crannies high in the mountains the only places for us small fry to hide? What happens when the whole planet has been mined and masticated? Where we can look into a stream and tell
how the battle for survival is going for almost any species, the behavior of gilded greedheads is still hard to predict. They’ve learned a thing or two about transparency in all the time they’ve been lying in wait, looking for new things to devour. What they’ve got in place now is something like a one-way glass, i.e., the “cloud” that is already the source of so much entertainment and information about us. Hey, the greedheads own it—that’s why they’re always the watchers and we’re the watched. Everyone’s trying to catch a glimpse of these people, but no one’s watching them, and that’s why it’s so much like fireworks in reverse when they carry out their heists. Enter the Frankenfish. Canada fights back? All by himself Frankenstein’s monster caused a sizable community to arm with staves and pitchforks. Pitchforks still might be helpful as gaffs to land the Frankenfish, a genetically engineered salmon that weighs in at least three times more than average. The first was created more than a decade ago in Newfoundland where genetic tinkering was going on to equip the Atlantic salmon to tolerate colder water. After splicing genes from the Chinook salmon and ocean pout the resultant salmon grew twice as fast as its natural cousin. Since female Atlantic salmon choose their mates based on size (here we go again) things do not bode well for indigenous species if the Frankenfish escapes, even if he’s been sterilized. The fish scientist who lives next door to us in New Brunswick (a Ph.D.) and works at the biological station in our little town has assured us that the escape of the Frankenfish into the wild is certain, if only as a prank to scare Americans. Really? Yes, our Canadian neighbors are proud of themselves for having successfully prevented LNG installations (liquefied natural gas) across the bay from us in Maine which would have interfered with our town’s main attraction, whale-watching. But now that the American largemouth bass is threatening sacred trout streams and pristine salmon breeding rivers—salmon fishing is the main touristic activity in New Brunswick—what’s to prevent a group of scientists in cranky pants from engineering a Frankenwhale? After a little gene-play, some of our many whales might reach the size of ocean liners. But wouldn’t Canadian small craft be just as likely as American to get stuck in their teeth or baleen? Ah, but New Brunswickers intimately know thousands of coves where the Frankenwhale would be too big to go. It’s not hard to picture these cunning Canadians diving for scallops in their drysuits while summering Americans are being picked off in their well-equipped pleasure craft. And if whales are as intelligent as they say, and they’re forced to choose sides, they’re already aware that Canadians are their allies.
West Coast Fishery Blues
Fitz and Doug were two good friends who fished for a living. They went home to a different hole in the wall at night but had to listen to each other snore for five days straight while they were at sea. They were at sea a week at a time, so their days of work weren’t that different from everyone else’s, only the hours were. Pretty much all they did when they were “on the beach” was drink, but they never seemed to tire of each other’s company. They were at the bar in my restaurant pretty much the entire time when they weren’t out riding the waves. I fed them, but it was disconcerting that they didn’t eat my seafood entrees and in particular the crab dishes which took me a lot of time (I cleaned the crabs myself) and were thought to be, by those whose opinion I respected in culinary matters, the best things on the menu. In fact, I never saw the two fishermen eat anything from the sea, though they were knowledgeable about the fish they brought me. They fished the waters off Northern California and took different kinds of fish according to the season, but the fish they dragged into my restaurant in heavy wooden boxes with rope handles were fish they couldn’t keep, or so I was told. For the most part these gifts to me were Petrale sole and striped bass, which was a gamefish. I knew the bass because I’d trolled for them with my father as a kid. We’d used big lures and tried to get them to strike off the rocky New England coast, which according to my father was their native habitat. Thus my consternation when Doug showed up with the same fish. My father had lied to me? Not at all, he explained. The “stripers” had been introduced to San Francisco Bay some time ago and were thriving in those waters. Well past the Golden Gate and out to sea Doug and Fitz were taking these bass when they were fishing for other species. It was an aggressive fish, but still controlled as a gamefish and nothing people like Fitz and Doug could sell. I remembered how aggressive the stripers had been, all right—the way they’d taken our lures reminded me of what I’d heard later about fish of the pike family in northern lakes. I could never figure out why I was being given the Petrale sole or why my friends couldn’t sell it. It couldn’t have been a gamefish because I’d seen it on the menu in good restaurants. But neither did I want to ask around and get the Health Department interested in my restaurant. I had enough trouble with the marijuana sales out in the back alley and all the people who continually asked me what was for dinner but didn’t want to eat with me when they found out. They behaved as if they were scouts for my competitors, and maybe they were—I had a lot of competitors. I had remembered the striped bass as a very mild-tasting fish, not unlike its cousin, the Mediterranean sea bass or “loup de mer” (sea-wolf) that I’d eaten in France. Sticking to what I remembered about that fish I prepared my gift fish with fennel and cooked them for my friends. Later my after-hours feasts killed two birds with one stone when I was able to induce my Asian girlfriend, a professional chef, to do the cooking. Now the bass was coming out the way it had for me at home—a huge hit. The Health Department didn’t put an end to these friendly affairs—Fitz himself did by quarreling with another of the bar’s regulars. After losing an incisor to this individual—a prize-fighter whose face resembled Carmen Basilio’s—he and Doug decided to take their business to one of my competitors. After that I saw them only on the street, where they were friendly as ever, though I noticed a couple of years later that Fitz was missing another tooth.
11
12
Crawfish 101 - Learn The Facts It is that time of year when the weather warms up and friends and family get together. Nothing complements these rendezvous better than a big ol’ pile of crawfish. You see, crawfish bring people together. You take your time peeling them, eating them and washing them down with some cold brews while catching up on the latest stories and late-breaking family news. I am going to arm you with some interesting crawfish facts so that you can impress people with your vast knowledge. Thank me later! DID YOU KNOW? SAY MY NAME! Crawfish are known by many nicknames, including yabbies, crayfish, mudbugs, mudpuppies and crawdads. OUI, OUI CRAWFISH… Crawfish is a delicacy in several parts of Europe. The largest harvester of crawfish is Norway, but the country that consumes the most is France. I SEE YOU, PUNK Crawfish are a crustacean species, and like many of its type, they can move their eyes without actually having to move their body. A FIVE-COURSE MEAL Like many crustaceans, crawfish will eat plants, but along with this, their diet consists of: clams, snails, small fish and insects!
MOVING LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON! When walking, crawfish do move forward, but when swimming they move backward, the method they prefer when they need to move quickly. HOW OLD? When living in the wild, an adult crawfish will reach maturity in about 4 years, and they can live anywhere from 20 to 30 years. LOVE ME! When breeding, the male crawfish will often find it necessary to fight in order to breed with a female. During these breeding fights, the male can easily lose a claw or a leg. Although this may be a major problem for other species, with the crawfish it’s not that big of a deal, as it will grow back.
by Jim Hanigan
“Crawfish Foodie”
RED LOBSTER Crawfish are a freshwater variant of the lobster. YOU SAID HOW MANY? There are more than 500 species of crawfish. LIKE A RAINBOW Most species are found in a solid color: black, brown, red, pink, blue, gray, green, yellow and purple. Other species appear in a variety of colors, such as the blue crawfish with some pink along its shell. JUST KEEP GROWING AND GROWING Crawfish have an exoskeleton—a hard outer skeleton—that is shed through a process called molting. The exoskeleton provides excellent protection but it limits growth. Once a crawfish grows too big for its exoskeleton, it goes through molting, which happens six to ten times in the first year and less in later years.
13
by Jim Hanigan
“Crawfish Foodie”
Now that you’ve learned everything you would ever want to know about crawfish it’s time to get out and try some. Of course you could always cook them up at home or support a good cause for a charitable organization, but if the stars don’t align then use this list of some of my favorite venues for your crawfish needs. Bon appétit!
The Men’s Club 2340 W. Northwest Highway, Dallas – 75220 PH: 214-956-8800 – www.mensclub.com
Big Shucks 6232 E. Mockingbird Lane, Dallas – 75214 PH: 214-887-6353 – www.bigshucks.com
As they say at Big Shucks, from swimsuits to tuxedos, everyone is welcome. I love their attitude. The waitstaff is always courteous and helpful. Their giant patio makes for nice, lazy weekends. Big Shucks is in close proximity to lower Greenville which makes it a great start for a Friday night run. Enjoying a heaping pile of crawfish, cold beer and Mavericks playoff games make this an excellent hangout. Plus they’re Blitz friendly! What the shuck?
This gentlemen’s club has been doing it right for years when it comes to crawfish and parties. Sure, you have to pay to get in, but it’s well worth it. Why? Because on Fridays from 4 – 8 p.m. it’s all-you-can-eat crawfish! They make ’em really spicy, too. Feel free to drop $1.50 for a bottle of your favorite brew. Additionally they have a pool in the back where you and your friends can hang out and listen to live music. Every now and then a hottie will ask you if you would like some company. Shoo her away and keep eating.
Corinne’s Catfish & Pies 503 S. Stemmons Freeway, Lewisville – 75067 PH: 469-549-4046 – www.corinnescatfish.com
Corinne’s bills itself as “A Cajun HomeStyle Experience.” That alone should get your taste buds ready for some good-flavored crawfish. They have a second location on Main Street. So if they’re expanding operations during this depression they must be doing something right. I prefer the mother ship since it’s right off the highway. The other perq about Corinne’s that I like is that they’re BYOB. That means a tightwad like me can save tons of cash, which equates to more crawfish purchases. Everyone wins! The Hideaway 14902 Preston Road, Dallas – 75254 PH: 972-661-5221
Formerly known as Al’s Hideaway this hidden gem has a loyal following and great prices on their crawfish. I found out that they have them shipped in daily so they’re fresh. They have some cuties that will serve affordably priced adult beverages. The Hideaway also has a few video games, a pool table and several TVs to keep you entertained. This dive bar is becoming an upand-comer here in the Metroplex. Tell them the Blitz sent you!
Nate’s Seafood & Steakhouse 14951 Midway Road, Addison – 75001 PH: 972-701-9622 – www.natesseafood.com
The folks at Nate’s have been serving up great seafood for years now, but since it is crawfish season they’ve added the mudbugs to the menu. Make sure to order the “turbo” seasoning for a little more kick. Wash it down with an Abita. They also have live music going on. Just check their website before heading over. The pink building is easy to find. Once inside you’ll be focused on the party!
14 by Brian Beard
“Ultimate Fighter”
by Geoff Case
“NFL Analyst”
Cowboysreload Randy “The Natural” Couture (19-10-0) vs. Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida (16-2-0):
Why won’t Randy just hang up the gloves? He is already a Hall-of-Famer and has absolutely nothing at all to prove. He is coming in riding a three-fight win streak but it has been eight months since his last fight. How in the hell did Machida fall from grace so fast? He lost to Shogun who was in top form and then lost a BS (in my opinion) decision to Rampage who is also a formidable opponent. Those are his only two losses. I think Machida surprises in this one with a dominating performance. He is a great fighter and Randy has to be past his prime! Machida by TKO in the second.
Jose “Junior” Aldo (18-1-0) vs. Mark “The Machine” Hominick (20-8-0):
Good chance for fight of the night right here! Two great strikers with incredible speed. Hominick has been around the sport a long time and is a proven veteran who hasn’t lost in over three years. Aldo has looked almost untouchable as of late and I think he takes this fight with a dominating performance. I think that he is a better striker than Hominick and if you have never watched him fight, watch his kicks! If Hominick is able to stand with him, I believe Aldo has the advantage on the ground. I am calling a unanimous decision for Aldo in the fight of the night.
Georges “Rush” St. Pierre (21-2-0) vs. Jake Shields (26-4-1):
Will anyone be able to touch GSP? You will have to go back four years to find a loss on his record and you will find six successful title defenses on his record as well. Wow. Shields may be new to a lot of fans but this cat has been around the game a long time. He is also one of the best grapplers in the world, period. There are a lot of guys in the UFC that are great ground guys, but Shields is one of the truly special ones. After all that hype, he is not the most active fighter in the world with only five fights over the last two years, but he has been so dominant. You will have to go back to ’04 to find a loss. I know everyone and their dog will be picking GSP, but F that. I am calling Shields by submission in Round 4. He trains with the rawest camp on the planet including the Diaz brothers and Gilbert Melendez. I’m not sure how he will do this as he doesn’t want to stand with GSP, and I’m not quite sure how he will take him down, but it will happen. Look for GSP to try to keep it standing and for Shields to try to clinch and get to the ground. Even if he has to pull guard!
Presented By: The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas 817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org
The Cowboys had pretty lofty expectations heading into the 2010 season but the team stumbled out of the gates leading to Wade Phillips getting replaced by his eventual successor Jason Garrett. The move immediately brought the Cowboys’ performance level up and they began winning games. The coaching move was exactly what the team needed. Jason firmly established himself as a leader and disciplinarian but was able to do so without having the team revolt on him after the beloved player’s coach (Phillips) was ousted. Let’s take a quick look at the roster heading into the draft.
into a solid left tackle but Marc Colombo regressed and will probably be replaced as the starter in 2011. Leonard Davis and Kyle Kosier also seemed to take a step back last year but both should be expected to be adequate as starters for 2012. Andre Gurode made the Pro Bowl last season but his days of playing at that level are way behind him. The Cowboys’ inability to draft offensive linemen has allowed this group to suddenly become ancient in NFL years. They absolutely need to target a lineman that can help in some fashion this season, whether in a backup role or starting. The age of the offensive line almost guarantees an injury.
Tony Romo missed the last 10 QB: games of the season due to inThe defensive line has some major jury, but he will be back as the starting quar- DL:holes approaching the draft. Igor terback next season. The Cowboys need to Olshansky is currently the only consistent keep Romo upright if they plan on doing any damage offensively. There needs to be an upgrade on the offensive line, specifically at the tackle positions.
The running back position is one RB: of the deepest on the team, with three legitimate contributors. Felix Jones, Marion Barber, and Tashard Choice have the potential to be one of the best stable of running backs in the league if they can stay healthy. Dez Bryant has WR/TE: the potential of being a future star but major flags have been
raised about his off-the-field issues. Dez will most likely be the full-time starter this coming season, especially if Roy Williams isn’t brought back. Miles Austin is still one of the better receivers in the league despite having a down year in 2011. Jason Witten is the most consistent best tight end in the game but backup Martellus Bennett has yet to fulfill his potential. The Cowboys are set at receiver for now and for the future and will most likely look elsewhere on draft day. The offensive line struggled as a OL: unit in the 2011 season and this is the area most likely to get addressed at some
point in the draft. Doug Free blossomed
defensive end on the roster, but we can expect the Cowboys to bring back at least one of their current free agents. Stephen Bowen is the most likely to be back because of his ability to pressure the quarterback. The Cowboys simply cannot afford Jay Ratliff to be ordinary. He will need to be in beast mode again this season for the defensive line to have an impact.
The outside linebacker combinaLB: tion of Anthony Spencer and DeMarcus Ware has the potential to be the best
in the league if Spencer can take the next step. Keith Brooking and Bradie James are both adequate starters, but expect Sean Lee to get some more burn.
The secondary is arguably CB/S: the biggest weak spot, especially at the safety position. The trio of
Mike Jenkins, Terence Newman, and Orlando Scandrick give the Cowboys a lot of talent at the cornerback position. However, Scandrick and Jenkins struggled last year and must have a bounce-back season. Safety will absolutely get addressed at some point during the early portion of the draft. Blitz Weekly Predictions: Round 1: OT Tyron Smith, USC Round 2: Rahim Moore, FS, UCLA
15
Whether you’re headed to the ball field, golf course, or just wandering the streets like the town drunk, the Beeracuda can keep you properly lubricated. The insulated sling holds five cans of your favorite beverage, while the shoulder strap offers a built-in koozie for your sixth. Beyond that, it’s up to you — we recommend semifrequent stops at 7-Eleven. (Price – $20)
Can’t stand the iPad’s virtual keyboard? Well, you could lug around both your iPad and a Bluetooth keyboard, or you could just pony up for the Logitech iPad Keyboard Case. Combining a screen cover with a built-in stand and Bluetooth keyboard, this case will keep your iPad 2’s front glass from becoming a scratched-up wreck, while offering support while you type away on a real-life physical keyboard. (Price - $100)
Find yourself in watching 3D movies at the theater way more than you care to admit? Might as well spring for some Oakley 3D Gascan Eyewear. Billed as “the world’s first optically corecct 3D glasses,” these semishades use Oakley’s proprietary HDO-3D technology to virtually eliminate crosstalk and distortion, and offer compatibility with RealD, which is most likely what they’re using at your local theater. Oh, and they’ll also keep you from looking like a complete dork while you’re busy stuffing your face with popcorn and jujubes. (Price - $120)
Reasons to Start Weight Training Today! by Adam Bruster
We are all aware of the fact that weight training improves physical appearance, but there are more important reasons to start hitting the weights that far exceed improving the image in the mirror. Weight training, or resistance training, is an activity that every adult seeking a healthier life should participate in. There are countless benefits associated with resistance training; below are some of the main reasons to start it on a regular basis. Prevent age-related muscle loss After the age of 30 we see decreases in strength and muscle mass. The good news is that resistance training fights this loss. Much of the decrease is due to inactivity and a sedentary lifestyle, not just the process of aging. If we want to have a long, enjoyable, active life, and don’t want to rely on others for help, then we must stay active and physically fit. If we perform exercises such as squats on a regular basis, then it should be no problem to get out of a chair or car seat without assistance when we are 80 or 90 years of age (as long as medical issues don’t arise such as injuries or disease). Strengthen bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments Weight training strengthens muscles, bones, tendons, and ligaments in the body. An in-
crease in muscle mass helps to provide cushioning and protection for the joints. Weight training improves bone density, which is
beneficial in case of a fall or collision, and also helps to prevent osteoporosis. The connective tissues (tendons and ligaments) are strengthened through weight training and will better handle physical stress, leaving them less prone to injury. Prevent weight gain Resistance training elevates the metabolism in a way that other forms of exercise do not. After a hard weight training session, the metabolism can stay elevated for 24-36 hours after a workout, which means you are burning more calories at rest than you normally would. The metabolism is elevated for arguably an hour after a cardiorespiratory work-
“Health & Fitness Guru”
out (running, cycling), and then it’s back to normal. Most people don’t realize that they can burn 500 calories in one hour or less with weight training, and you also get the “after-burn” effect on the metabolism. Decrease chances of disease Obesity is a risk factor for many diseases such as colon cancer, prostate cancer, breast cancer, ovarian cancer, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, and many others. Weight training helps to regulate body weight (see previous paragraph), so it makes sense to say that anything assisting in the prevention of obesity would be a great tool. Weight gain also causes people to stop participating in activities that they once enjoyed like golf, tennis, hiking, racquetball, etc. A weight training routine can help get bodyweight under control and help participants get back out on the golf course or tennis court. An effective weight training program does not have to be a long, drawn-out session. Research studies have shown that just two or three 10-20 minute workouts a week are very beneficial. Exercises can be performed at home with minimal equipment. So make a long-term investment in yourself and start weight training today! *Consult physician before beginning an exercise program
16
GOIN’PLACES
Out and about in DFW with Hannah Allen
The Lion and the Neighbor
A
few months ago the house around the corner was put up for rent. I noticed when the new tenants started moving in. By “noticed” I mean, “was delighted by the bus in front of the house with a Rasta stripe across the top!” Over the next few months my husband Paul and I caught glimpses of dreadlocks and red, yellow and green. We put bets on whether or not they were in a band and saw fruit trees and pink flamingos spring up in the yard. One day I noticed that the Rasta-bus was back after a bit of an absence. The groupie in me knew that meant a string of gigs in different cities. I wasn’t surprised to see a small trailer attached to the back of the bus with a logo, “Ugly Lion.” Since Facebook one search can teach you what used to take months of turning up at shows and batting eyelashes to learn. Ugly Lion is a progressive reggae group from Dallas whose members have been working their a$$es off to make a name for themselves. Come to find out, they’ve definitely made one. I flirted with the idea of taking some homemade treats and a copy of this paper to their door and begging for a copy of their EP and an interview. I thought about inviting them to the LBG Cancer Research Benefit where so many of my friends were playing that weekend. When I posed the idea to my husband he stared at me over his guitar. “Go talk to them,” he insisted. I chickened out using the excuse that I was out of chocolate chips and had no treats to take. When the weekend rolled around I found myself in a little black dress at Lakewood Bar and Grill surrounded by
old high school friends and cold bottles of Shiner Bock. The place filled with people who had come of age playing and writing music together. Everyone was buzzing about the show: Daniel Bornhorst of Blackstone Rangers who used to play with Paul, Matt and Trent now of Gods of Industry; Jimmy, who agreed to play with Mikol in Mic City; and everyone had a wife or longtime girlfriend in tow. It was like the football games we
by Jesse Whitman
all used to go to together – except that drinking was legal now. After Blackstone Rangers played their best set since they formed last year, Gods of Industry stepped onstage with their honest brand of rock and roll. What happened next may only be relevant to those who were there that night or who had been around ten years prior: the reunion of a band called Formal Method – Paul, Matt, Trent, Daniel and Justin on vocals. In our world of televised singing competitions and ninety-nine-cent downloads it is sort of rare to witness something this authentic and excellent – especially for the benefit of a friend who had lost her father to cancer. Natalie Gaither, who had organized the benefit in honor of her late father, told me, “Together, we were able to raise $435 and that’s pretty kick-a$$. I had many people coming up to me wanting to talk about their own (or a loved one’s) experience with cancer. Just goes to show that no one stands alone in any illness.” The next night I was on my way to the Green Spot when I saw my dreadlocked neighbor walking through the yard of that house on the corner. I parked my truck and stepped out, trying my best to seem like I was not a psycho-killer-slut or a Jehovah’s Witness. Turns out this guy, Brandon, is the singer for Ugly Lion. I met his six-month-old son and talked about Dallas, music and urban gardening. I mentioned the benefit: “You know, just when my cynicism is getting the better of me I get to see something like that. It was just amazing.” Brandon responded, “Everyone I know is an artist. This work is important, it’s so important.” As I drove away I realized I’d waited for months to see the logo on that trailer. Then I googled them to find out who they were and was prepared to wait weeks to see the whole band at a show all the way over in Deep Ellum when all I had to do was walk around the corner and introduce myself to my neighbor.
Scientists can identify all of the physical parts of the brain, but they still can’t quantify the mind, and so the two remain separate. Interestingly, it keeps scientists puzzled because although everyone knows that the mind is there, its actions and consciousness can never be placed in terms of the physical parts of the brain. The mind is working and existing somewhere ‘out there.’ It’s the same with air. We know it’s there even though we can’t see it. The mind also doesn’t know the difference between what is happening in our waking life, what we know as reality and what is only happening in the mind. So if our consciousness perceives our daydreams and fantasies as happening within the same reality as it would in actuality, then couldn’t one argue that those altered states of experience are also reality? Some indigenous cultures believe that the waking life is only a vehicle in order to experience our real lives, which exist only in dreams. If the mind can’t tell the difference between the two dimensions, perhaps there is some truth to this concept. If your dreams are your real life the possibilities are really limitless. In this way, you can experience life without any of the filters or reservations that your socialized and over-rational brain will surely try to impose, allowing you more chances to have peak experiences. Still, the more answers philosophers and scientists seek in this area, the more questions arise. Descartes and the Dualists of the 17th century believed that the mind was in fact a separate entity from the physical brain while followers of
“A Woman’s Perspective”
monism believe that the mind and body are not separate and that as physical theory continues to evolve, the actions of the mind will eventually be explained. On the other side of the spectrum are the idealists who believe that the mind is all that exists in terms of reality and that the external world is merely an illusion created by the mind. This concept was captured in the bittersweet film Pan’s Labyrinth. In this case, the 12-year-old protagonist is able to survive in a hostile and violent world only because of the dual reality of her fantasy world where anything is possible. The ending is a happy one for the idealists, but tragic for the realists. Still, it presents an interesting debate on what really is consciousness, especially when it can be used to rise above any kind of suffering. If, for example, you are stuck in a POW prison in Siberia during the middle of winter, it probably would be more advantageous for you to be an idealist rather than a realist in terms of your perception of reality. If you can’t get exactly what you want in life, maybe you should try going to sleep and experiencing it in your dreams. You would be surprised how much control you can have over your dreams if you just gently suggest it to your mind in your waking life. The subconscious knows everything. There are no secrets you can keep from it and it will always listen. Could the key to figuring out who you really are lie in your dreams? Every night before you go to sleep, ask yourself what you really want. Maybe dreams are the bridge that brings us from where we are to where we want to be. Remember, you can go anywhere.
JOKES
17
HORRORSCOPES
FUNNIES
Q: How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two. One to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hairdryer. Q: What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A: A quarter pounder with cheese. Q: If Moms have Mother’s Day, and Dads have Father’s Day, what do single guys have? A: Palm Sunday! Taxidermist This guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: “Ain’t from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?” The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.” The bartender asks, “What th’ hell ya do in Iowa?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist... Now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist?” The guy says “I mount animals.” The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s OK boys, he’s one of us!”
ACROSS:
1. Sit for a photo 5. Brink 10. Quarries 14. Assist 15. Habituate 16. Auditory 17. Drumming 19. City in Peru 20. A painkiller (abbrev.) 21. A dangerous feat 22. Ore digger 23. A lengthy rebuke 25. Overact 27. Fodder 28. Abstruse 31. A clique 34. Arouse 35. Bother 36. Portent 37. Scoundrel 38. Website addresses 39. Anagram of “Dim” 40. Wash oneself 41. Heretofore (2 words) 42. Newborn’s bed 44. Beer
45. Ordinary 46. A platform or dais 50. Merchandise 52. Razz 54. What tails of dogs do 55. Arch type 56. Cutlery 58. Harvest 59. Fertile areas in deserts 60. Colored part of an eye 61. Swirl 62. Sanctify 63. Religious offshoot
DOWN:
1. Ordered by the pope 2. Overweight 3. Glacial ice formation 4. And so forth 5. Sacristy 6. Come to pass 7. Destroy 8. Ugly 9. Poetic time of day 10. Civil 11. Travel plan 12. An indefinite period
13. Cicatrix 18. Normal 22. Bit of dust 24. Comparative word 26. Pout 28. 2/3rds of a dozen 29. Indolent 30. Price 31. It’s like a brush 32. Dogfish 33. Bedcover 34. Existing in possibility 37. Hindu princess 38. Utilizer 40. Partiality 41. Adjust 43. Drowsy 44. Appraise 46. Overhangs 47. Cognizant 48. A gold coin of ancient Persia 49. Discharge 50. Was attired in 51. Matured 53. Alternatively 56. Weep 57. Wisconsin (abbrev.)
18
Guidance Counselor Dear BLITZbudsman: I prefer my old title, even though for some years now I’ve been an Assistant Principal. Right off the bat, I’m not writing about my job, which is secure in spite of the recent budget-cutting layoffs. I am writing because I fear being unable to do my job without creating a scandal that could ruin the lives of many students who have confided in me. Obviously, I have assured them that information told me in confidence will never be used as evidence for any reason without their express authorization—no matter who’s on trial for what. Even so, without attributing blame it might do some good to publish the details of their crimes. Some months ago a lovely young senior who’s never had social problems or problems with her grades was referred to me on suspicion of drug dealing. There was scant evidence and I told the girl that I had no desire to investigate her if she could explain the large sums of money she seemed always to be carrying. She laughed and told me she could easily show me where the money came from. Show me? Yes, she said, and came around my desk as if to show me something in her purse, then reached between my legs and took hold of whatever they call it now. She assumed a hurt expression when I slapped her hand away and told me she was very good. When I’d coaxed her back into her seat I asked her how long she’d been involved in prostitution, and if she knew of other students who were involved. Now her look was indignant. “You can’t make any money selling it,” she said, “no matter how good you are. To the pimply boys around here? And because of my age, I couldn’t have a sugar-daddy without getting him in trouble.” After I swore not to tell anyone, she smilingly told me everything. She and about 25% of her classmates, mostly girls but some boys, were involved in making and distributing internet porn. When I stopped her from describing various acts, she tore a piece of paper from her notebook and wrote a list of websites. “That way I’ll never have to name names. Just watch us and you’ll see who’s involved, and how awesome we are. Yeah, sure, we’ve got a lot more money than the virgins, but it’s
not corrupting us. All my friends are still going to college, and we can pay for it without taking out student loans.” For some days I resisted, but I finally went online and discovered that everything the girl had told me was true. Moreover, the students looked older and seemed to know just what they were doing. According to my informant, so many young people were making their living this way it was impossible to check ages. If there was trouble she was sure their parents would get them out of it. Where do I go from here? – Sitting on a bombshell
Dear Sitting: How eagerly you must wait for those precious moments each day when you’ll have time to go online and watch your enterprising students display the reason they think of themselves as “awesome!” Or the moments when you catch a random glimpse of these sex-workers walking down your sterile corridors, primly clutching a pile of books against themselves! The way their expressions must change when you wink at them… I’m too old for this! Though next to you I’m probably a novice in the advice game, I’d let sleeping dogs lie. Your comely charges are mature enough to take responsibility for educating themselves—what more could you want? The fact that your informant wanted to show you what she could do tells me you’re not an old fossil. By now it should have occurred to you that her grapevine is heavy with low-hanging fruit. Common decency requires me to advise you: hands off! But I am not so common or so decent, though I number daughters among my many offspring. I do advise you not to offer payment should you weaken and start plucking. Show some character! Write to the BLITZbudsman at blitzbudsman@blitzweekly.com
19 by Pat Moran
It’s seems to me that everybody needs a tip these days. Wherever you turn, coffeeshops, takeout restaurants and even vendors at stadiums, everyone has a tip jar out. Now, I am accustomed, like most people, to having to shell out fifteen percent on every bar tab or sit-down meal. I get it. Waitstaff get paid minimum wage to act like a servant for an hour and the little extra at the end of the night makes them feel like an actual human being. But there has to be a line drawn. Who gets tipped? Who deserves it? Everyone is expecting it now, but to me that is ridiculous. It’s gotten to the point where people who, historically, never expected a tip are getting pissed off now because you didn’t throw them a dollar because they did their job. I mean, do I really have to give the guy at Starbucks a dollar because he poured $5 of coffee into a mug? I should tip the guys who picked the beans... That’s the real thankless job. Not Joe Schmoe who is pissed off when I don’t order a fancy drink. Not the grocery checkout person, who bent over backwards scanning my items. Tipping has got to be limited to someone
“Man on his Throne”
who is doing something that I can’t or don’t want to do myself. I don’t want to make a giant meal for myself, so I’ll give the server a few bucks. I don’t want to go pick up the pizza, so I’ll give the delivery guy something extra. But I don’t want to have to give someone money just because they do their job as expected. I don’t get tipped for sitting in an office all day long, doing my job. Nobody does. It’s not as if no one is getting paid, since if you are working you are getting a paycheck. I know how hard it is to work service jobs. I waited tables and bartended for years. I’m not saying it’s not a hard job or that people don’t deserve to be tipped. I’m just saying that there has to be a fine line between what deserves a tip and what doesn’t. Here’s a tip: if you do a good job, odds are you will be rewarded. But if you think you deserve extra money, you probably should get a better job.