Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

SPORTS NEWS

Gridiron Guts & Glory

SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Must See TV 3 UFC 135 Preview 4 Texas Rangers 4 TCU Preview 6 SMU Preview 6 UNT Preview 7 Big 12 Game of the Week 7 Meet Robert Griffin III 7 27 – 24 Again! 8 Cover Story When Men Were Men 9 Bring On The Redskins 10 – 11 How It All Began 10 – 11 Blitz babe of the week Haley 12 Restaurant Review Caribbean Café 13 Local Entertainment 7 Things in 7 Days 13 Hollywood Profile 14 Movie Review 14 A Musical Generation 15 Man world Auto Review 16 Gadgets 16 The Joystick 16 Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 Social Transgressions 18 Save The TaTas 18 Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor Chris Patterson Food, Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Judy Chamberlain Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Cover Photography: James Smith Cover Design: Damien Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Major

CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Harsh Agrawal, Keith Allison, Vitor Malheiros Alves, Matt Becker, Cinnamon Cooper, Rafael Edwards, Nicole C. Engard, Manny Flores, David Goodspeed, Richard Hebstreit, Matthew Lynch, Matt Pearce, James D. Smith, Adam Sundana, David Zeuthen, Caesarscott, Lisa B, Vanesser III STAFF WRITERS Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Dennis Hambright, Jack E. Jett, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Jesse Whitman

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS STAFF WRITERS Joe Avezanno, Cote Bailey, Brian Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Beard, Jay Betsill, Sonny Capps, Fil Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin Chapa, David Goodspeed, Andrew George, Dennis Hambright, Jack J. Hewett, Tommy Smith E. Jett, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Jesse Whitman CONTACT US Phone: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Email: kreed@blitzweekly.com

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By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

The victory over the 49ers was a costly one for the Cowboys. The 49ers are a physical team and there was plenty of hard hitting in the game. It’s quite possible that Romo suffered two fractured ribs in the game last Sunday. The Cowboys starters heading into their home opener against the Redskins appear to be an injury-plagued group. Romo suffered a rib injury and punctured lung. Running back Felix Jones separated his right shoulder on the fifth snap of the game. After recording his third receiving touchdown, wide receiver Miles Austin tweaked his hamstring and may be out until mid-October. In the fourth quarter, center Phil Costa reinjured his posterior cruciate ligament in his right knee. Jason Witten suffered bruised ribs on the second series after taking a hit from 49ers cornerback Carlos Rogers. The depleted secondary is barely hanging on. This doesn’t include the injured players prior to Sunday’s game. Wide receiver Dez Bryant is nursing his bruised quadriceps. Terence Newman is fighting through a groin injury. Martellus Bennett is on the mend with ankle issues. All these injuries need time to heal, but in the interim how will the team react to Tony Romo? A Leader is Born Again When Tony Romo first stepped on the field for an injured Drew Bledsoe in 2006 and performed reasonably well against the New York Giants he immediately acquired a cult fan following and trust from his teammates as the starter. Heading into the 49ers game, many local pundits and national talking heads were questioning Romo’s ability to lead the team and rightly so. Romo in the fourth quarter of the New York Jets game on 9/11 singlehandedly snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. A fumble here and an interception

there were sure to raise some eyebrows. Things weren’t looking good Sunday against the 49ers, when in the first quarter the drive stalled and Dan Bailey missed on a 21-yard attempt. The following drives seemed to be going nowhere as they ended in punts after three plays. The ribs were definitely bothering Romo. He hit pay dirt at the close of the second quarter with a 53-yard pass to Miles Austin. After halftime Romo came out briefly then returned to the locker room. Jon Kitna took the reigns and in three series produced a touchdown and two interceptions. Towards the end of the third quarter, Romo returned and Cowboy fans held their collective breath. By the middle of the fourth quarter and down 10 points, Tony Romo went from being Tony Turnover to Romo the Great. He led the team to scoring drives that sent the game to overtime. The cameras caught Romo having a few words with receiver Jesse Holley before taking the field in overtime. No. 9 was ready to take charge and on the first play of the overtime possession hit Holley on a 77yard completion. That play set up Dan Bailey’s game-winning field goal. This capped not only an improbable win, but also cemented a legacy. Compared To Greatness It’s safe to say that Romo has the talent, skill set, charisma and moxie to lead America’s Team back to the Super Bowl. His critics have stated in the past that Romo would ultimately be judged by his postseason performances. Questioning his leadership skills or toughness is useless now. After his performance against the 49ers, his teammates will undoubtedly follow him into battle any time, anywhere. Owner Jerry Jones compared Romo’s performance to that of Emmitt Smith’s 1993 season finale against the New York Giants. That’s the game where Smith, playing with a separated shoulder, had an outstanding performance that clinched the NFC title in an overtime win. Truth be told, Romo just redefined gutsy.

MUST SEE TV Arkansas vs.

#14

Alabama

Sat. September 24 – 2:30PM – Bryant-Denny Stadium – CBS

SEC West foes start conference play in this battle. Every conference win is vital towards gaining admission to the conference title game. Arkansas has pretty much dominated their first three cupcake opponents. Razorback QB, Tyler Wilson, is definitely worth watching. Alabama might be the most disciplined team in the country. Alabama running back Trent Richardson is something special. Anything goes in this one!

@ConanOBrien Conan O’Brien

It’s normal to have a breakfast chat alone in your office with the ghost of Nell Carter, right?

S av i n g y o u f r o m c a r pa l T H UM B s y m p t o m s !

Redskins vs. Cowboys Mon. September 26 – 7:30PM – Cowboys Stadium – ESPN

The fact that this is the Cowboys home opener should be good enough. With this MNF match up is against their arch rival makes this Must See TV! The 103rd meeting should be a closely fought contest. The Redskins have looked pretty good so far. The Cowboys have played better than expected on defense. They still need help on offense though. Will home field advantage come into play for Dallas? Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

September 21 – september 27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

SPORTS NEWS

RANGERS

UFC

CREEPING CLOSE TO ANOTHER TITLE

UFC 135 Preview

Two series down, three to go for the Texas Rangers. Not only did they meet Manager Ron Washington’s goal to win each series the rest of the season, the Rangers were nearly perfect in sweeping three games at home against the Cleveland Indians and two of three in Seattle against the Mariners. The impressive week increased the Rangers’ lead in the American League West division from 2.5 to 4.5 games and narrowed their magic number to five. Any combination of Rangers wins and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim losses totaling five sends Texas back into the playoffs.

Ben Rothwell (31-7-0) vs. Mark “The Super Samoan” Hunt (6-7-0): There will be a lot of weight and heavy leather being thrown in this fight. Hunt has been around a long time and has some respectable wins, but for the most part they’ve been over smaller opponents. He has not been relevant in a long time and I don’t look for him to be fighting too much longer. Rothwell is a beast that has been in the game a while as well, but he seems to be improving with each fight. I look for him to win big and early with a first round TKO. Hunt’s career in the big time is winding down. Matt Hughes (46-8-0) vs. Josh “Kos” Koscheck (17-5-0): Talk about UFC legends and you better mention Matt Hughes. He is one of the greatest champions of all time and was the man at 170 before the GSP takeover and reign. Koscheck is a great wrestler who’s only lost to GSP in the last two years. He has explosiveness that is going to be tough for the older Hughes to match or even keep up with. That will be the difference. I see Kos dominating this fight, but not finishing. He will win via unanimous decision. Hughes will hopefully get another fight or two and win, then retire a legend. He has nothing left to prove. Jon “Bones” Jones (13-1-0) vs. Rampage Jackson (32-8-0): I have never seen a more dominating fighter than Jon Jones. Yes, I know who Anderson Silva and GSP are and I still stand by that statement. No one has ever come close to beating him, with his only loss coming from an illegal blow that he inflicted on his opponent. Rampage is

By Mark Miller mmiller@blitzweekly.com

By Brian Beard comments@blitzweekly.com

Upcoming Schedule: 9/21 @Athletics 9:07 p.m. 9/22 @Athletics 2:37 p.m. 9/23 Mariners 7:05 p.m. 9/24 Mariners 7:05 p.m. 9/25 Mariners 2:05 p.m. 9/26 @Angels 9:05 p.m. 9/27 @Angels 9:05 p.m.

New York Yankees and Baltimore Orioles. The last team in the majors to achieve the feat was the 2005 St. Louis Cardinals. Even the relief staff, which had been previously inconsistent, was strong. In three games against the Mariners, the relievers not only retired all 22 batters they faced, they struck out 12 of them. Offensively, Josh Hamilton had at least three hits twice and two home runs including a grand slam Wednesday against the Indians. David Mur-

UFC 135 Saturday – Sept. 24 – 8pm

Watch it at:

no one’s b!tch and is all about black on black crime (as he likes to say), so I don’t look for him to lay down on his own. Jones’ unorthodox striking and incredible wrestling will allow him to dominate this fight fairly easily. Rampage is a tough cat, however he will get owned here. Jon “Bones” Jones wins via TKO in the first! I’ll put it on record right now that if/when Jones and Anderson Silva fight, Bones will walk through him, but that better happen fast. I see the young Jones moving up to heavyweight in the near future.

“We feel good...we’re playing our kind of baseball,” infielder Michael Young told mlb.com after Sunday’s 3-0 win over the Mariners. “The stretch run experience last year was valuable. We haven’t blinked. There is baseball to be played and we’re playing our game. We just want to keep it up.” “We still have to take care of business,” catcher Mike Napoli said. “We need to win games. This was a good series here, we won the series, now we’ve got to go to Oakland and win another series.” The five wins put the Rangers at 88 overall and helped them on their quest to achieve several first-time team milestones: • Two wins away from at least 90 in consecutive seasons • Five starting pitchers with at least 13 wins • 19 shutouts Left-hander Matt Harrison became the Rangers’ fifth starter with at least 13 wins when he beat both the Indians and Mariners. No team in the American League had done this since the 1977

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phy went four-for-four Tuesday against Cleveland while Adrian Beltre hit two-run home runs against both the Indians and Mariners. Defensively, the Rangers only committed two errors in their six games. They have been near the bottom of the league all season. So in all three phases of the game, the Rangers played like champions. They also received more good news during the week as right-fielder Nelson Cruz returned from his hamstring injury to serve as a designated hitter and relief pitcher Darren O’Day also returned to bolster the bullpen. Final games meaningless? The Rangers would love nothing better than to use their final two regular-season series as time to rest regulars and get ready for the playoffs. That will happen if they’ve clinched their division after playing at Oakland through Thursday. Texas hosts the Seattle Mariners this weekend before the final three road games in Anaheim. The Angels have four games at Toronto before heading home against Oakland. If nothing else, the Rangers hope their series against the Angels proves meaningless.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

September 21 – september 27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

SPORTS NEWS

TCU’s Patterson notches 100th win

By Tommy Smith tsmith@blitzweekly.com

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

By Tony Barone tbarone@blitzweekly.com

Mustangs Pleased to be Where They Are

TCU senior Greg McCoy took the second-half kickoff 94 yards for a touchdown, and the TCU defense came up with a big play right after as the 23rd-ranked Horned Frogs (2-1) finally took control in a 38-17 victory over the Louisiana-Monroe Warhawks. Louisiana-Monroe (1-2) piled up 189 total yards in the first quarter, when it scored all of its points to take a 17-14 lead. The Frogs led 21-17 at halftime before McCoy took the second-half kick at the 6-yard-line and

Family weekend went down just how it should have for the Mustangs last Saturday night. The Ponies brought in 1-AA juggernaut Northwestern State and thoroughly exorcised the Demons 407. It was a record setting night for Zach Line, who rushed for a school record five touchdowns breaking the single game mark of four — a feat reached by a number of SMU running backs including Doak Walker. Line ran for 85 yards in the game and had touchdown runs of 1, 4, 5, 9 and his longest of 16 yards in the third quarter. Quarterback JJ McDermott started the game and

ran nearly untouched to the end zone. His path was completely clear once the kicker was knocked down near midfield. Three plays after McCoy’s kickoff return the Warhawks Jyruss Edwards fumbled after taking a crushing blow from Stansly Maponga. D.J. Yendrey recovered at the Warhawks 28, setting up Matthew Tucker’s second TD run, a 1-yarder for a 35-17 lead less than 5 minutes into the second half. TCU didn’t score again until Ross Evans kicked a 28-yard field goal with 27 seconds remaining in the game. This was the first game at Amon G. Carter Stadium since a major renovation began after their final home game last season. The work isn’t scheduled to be completed until the 2012 opener. The Frogs have now won a school record 21 straight home games. TCU head coach Gary Patterson, promoted from defensive coordinator to head coach after the 2000 regular season, now has a record of 100-29 with the Horned Frogs. The only TCU coach to win more games is Dutch Meyer, with 109 wins from 1934-52. “Hopefully, we’ll learn to get back to [a] fanatic TCU effort, because when they turned up the knob, good things happened,” a hoarse-throated Patterson said afterward. “But we’ve got to keep turning up the knob. You’ve got to start from the opening bell.”

was scheduled to handle most of the duty, but after the Mustangs took a big lead Kyle Padron entered the game with about seven minutes left in the first half and never came out. J.J. McDermott led the game in passing with 278 yards while Kyle Padron added 138 yards through the air. The offensive line for the Mustangs was steady all night opening holes for Line and not giving up a sack of either quarterback. After the game, Coach June Jones said it would be McDermott under center to start the game next week. The SMU defense played great not allowing a point to the Demons whose only score came on a 93 yard fumble recovery with under 2 minutes to play in the game. “I was really pleased with the defense. They played really well.” SMU Head Coach June Jones said after the game. “They played hard, they played physical I am disappointed they didn’t get the shutout. That is hard to fathom.” Jones continued. The Mustangs return to conference play next week in Memphis and have put themselves in good position to stay on top of Conference USA western division with a win. Quarterback Taylor Reed passed for 332 yards and Billy Foster had 180 all-purpose yards to lead the Memphis Tigers in their first win of the 2011 season, a 27-6 nonconference victory over Austin Peay at Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium Saturday. The Mustangs and Tigers have not met since 2008 when Memphis beat SMU 31-26 in Dallas.

PORTLAND STATE VS. TCU SAT. SEPT. 24 - 1:00PM AMON G. CARTER STADIUM

SMU VS. MEMPHIS SAT. SEPT. 24 -11:00AM / FSN THE LIBERTY BOWL

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

SPORTS NEWS

In Comes Indy

OKLAHOMA STATE VS. #8TEXAS A&M

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

What a great opportunity to play in front of 100K+. I was really impressed with the gaming effort put forward by the entire team. The kids never let up, kept the scoring under control, caused turnovers and kept executing the entire game. The play calling was some of the best I had seen right up until the fourth quarter. The team didn’t give up, not sure why coach McCarney did. This game should not have ended in a shutout. Now comes preparation for a win. Indiana has been trying to rebuild its football program for several years. Their defense is prone to have gaping holes. Their offense is like an old Cadillac, it may get going, but you never know how far it will take you. The defense was terrible against the pass last year and stopping the run wasn’t the easiest of task for them either. So far this year, they

Oklahoma State is hoping that weather isn’t a factor when facing Texas A&M this week. The Cowboys were delayed last week with lightening strikes on the road against Tulsa. That being said, look for the high powered Cowboys to be on all cylinders when the game starts at Kyle Field. QB Brandon Weeden and WR Justin Blackmon could be the best pass and catch duo in the Big 12. Coming in undefeated has their confidence high

Time to Meet

INDIANA VS. UNT SAT. SEPT. 24 - 6:00PM / ESPN 3 APOGEE STADIUM

OKLAHOMA STATE VS. #8TEXAS A&M SAT. SEPT. 24: 7:00PM / ABC KYLE FIELD

Robert Griffin III By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

have been able to put a few points on the board, but they are still giving them up as well. By the power rankings you will most likely see the Mean Green as a home dog again this week, but it won’t be by a big number. Thompson again showed he can make good reads and can get the ball in the air. Osborn didn’t get much time, but he absolutely has no problem putting the ball in the hands of the receivers either. With the opportunity that will be presented this weekend, either one of these QBs will have to make the defense try to stop them in the air. Indiana has already shown it has trouble stopping the run as well; getting the ball in the flats to Dunbar and Chancellor will give the Mean Green the yards it will need to start using their side of the scoreboard. Indiana starts conference play next week against Penn State. I would guess they would be looking ahead and thinking of just trying to tune up in Denton. This will be a great opportunity for UNT to pick up their first win. If McCarney takes his troops and attacks this game with the same vigor and game plan he used last week against Bama, the Mean Green will prevail and will send the Hoosiers back to Indiana reminding them that Indiana is a basketball school.

especially after handling the Arizona Wildcat defense with ease. Sophomore RB Joseph Randle is the featured back and has rushed for over 100 yards with two touchdowns in every game this season. Randle is also a pass catching threat. Look for Jeremy Smith to get some touches to spell him if needed. TE Justin Horton is the safety valve that Weeden will look for. Quinn Sharp, who is reliable when it comes to field goals, handles kicking duties. The Cowboy defense is beginning to gel after replacing all three linebackers to start this season. The d-line and secondary are strengths for the defense. The Aggies are coming off an easy victory over the Idaho Vandals. The Aggies have played both of their games at home and the Cowboys will be their first real test of the season. Since taking over the position last season QB Ryan Tannehill is the unquestioned leader. He makes plays and is confident passing the ball to Ryan Swope his go-to receiver. The running back tandem of Cyrus Gray and Christine Michael are more than capable of running over the Cowboy defense. Kicker Randy Bullock is reliable for short-range field goals, but hasn’t been tested beyond the 40 this season. The Aggie defense has been stout this season only giving up three touchdowns. Filling in the holes left by Von Miller and Michael Hodges has been a challenge. Strong safety Steven Campbell is a big hitter and can make impact plays. If the game plays out like it did last season expect a closely fought battle to the very end by both teams. A&M is looking to avenge last season’s loss before heading off to the SEC.

Born in Japan, the Copperas Cove graduate is a Political Science major at Baylor. In 2008 Robert Griffin III (nicknamed RGIII) earned Big 12 Offensive Freshman of the Year honors. Also that season he led the Bears to an upset victory over the Texas A&M Aggies. The 4121 victory served notice to the Big 12 that he would be an impact player in the conference. The dual-threat quarterback was even part of a trick play against TCU in this season’s home opener. When RG III caught a first down pass to keep a drive alive that later produced a field goal, the Bears were rewarded with a 50-48 victory. Robert Griffin III is now considered to be a Heisman Trophy candidate. We recently caught up with RG III and asked him some questions. Here’s how it went: How’s Waco treating you these days? It’s been great! We love Waco, so Waco needs to keep coming out and loving us this season. Last year you led Baylor to its first bowl game since 1994. How did it feel? It felt good. It felt good to get that monkey off our back. We’re looking forward to building upon that. Now that we’ve sat at the dinner table and had a few meals we want to get there and eat some dessert.

Do you have any personal goals for this season? I don’t set very many personal goals. I believe that you are judged by wins and losses. My job is to help this team win. If I have to throw for 150 or 450 yards, run for 2,000 yards, whatever it is that I have to do to win football games, I am willing to do. When you were growing up were there any NFL or college players that you idolized? Any of them influence your game? Yeah, you know John Elway, Steve Young, Michael Vick, Randall Cunningham, Kenny Stabler; all those guys. I try to take something from all of them. Whether it’s Kenny’s or Randall’s or Steve Young’s ability to extend the play, John Elway’s leadership on the field or Michael Vick’s explosiveness as a quarterback in general, I love all those guys and am proud to say that they’ve all had an impact on my career. Now that the Big 12 no longer has divisions, what’s it going to be like playing each team in the conference this season? I think it’s going to be great. There are no excuses. No “ifs” or “I wish” to play a certain team. You get to play everybody. There will be an outright champ and we’re looking forward to it.

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September 21 – september 27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

SPORTS NEWS

COWBOYS 27-24 AGAIN!

By Joe Avezzano www.hattricksdallas.com

Every game in Jason Garrett’s tenure has been close, decided by a few points for or against. Why would it be any different last Sunday as the Dallas Cowboys pulled off one of their most dramatic victories in their history? Coming off a devastating defeat the previous week and falling behind 14-0 midway through the second quarter and nothing looking particularly promising, they had dramatic performances by many players to win 27-24 in overtime. Who were these players? 1. Tony Romo would have to lead the list, as critics pummeled him all week after the opening loss to the Jets. This game wasn’t going well as he sustained a rib injury that would project him at halftime to be out for the remainder of the game. He returned, on his white horse, to rally the team with a 20 for 33, 345 yards in the air, three touchdown performance. With one of the best road records of any QB to ever play the game he played hurt and played well.

Upcoming Schedule: 9/11 @NY Jets 24-27 Loss 9/18 @San Francisco 27-24 Win 9/26 Washington 7:30 p.m. 10/2 Detroit Noon 10/9 BYE WEEK

him to play after further evaluation? For Austin, will his hamstring allow him to play? For Bryant, will his thigh allow him to play? Nagy and Costa up front, will their injuries allow them to play? On defense, Newman, Scandrick, Jenkins are a concern; will their injuries allow them to play? This team showed character that critics may have not believed was there. It’s obvious the team thought they had it and they proudly displayed it to everyone. Come from behind victories have a way of doing that!

2. Miles Austin is playing through a hamstring injury (at least for now) and had his first three-touchdown game this season. His last touchdown was a fantastic effort to get in the end zone before his knee hit the ground. 3. Jason Witten again showed his ability as an all around player grabbing seven catches for over 100 yards. 4. Jesse Holley the reality TV star turned contributing member of the kicking game and receiving core caught two key passes in the tying drive and the 77-yard catch to set up the winning field goal. 5. Dan Bailey who after missing a chip shot field goal in the first quarter came back to kick the tying and winning field goals. 6. The defense again played well as a unit with excellent efforts by Ware, Hatcher, Ratliff, Spencer, and continued production by Sean Lee the second year linebacker. There was a lot at stake for the Cowboys, as no team wants to start 0-2 and have to fight uphill so early in the season. 0-2 goes to the playoffs 16% of the time and 1-1 goes 50% of the time. At least during the ride home they could breathe easier. What lies ahead? Washington comes to town for a Monday night match up that will draw its usual attention along with the Redskins being a surprising 2-0. Most of us are interested in the health of the team. For Romo, will his ribs allow Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Joe Avezzano can be heard Tuesday nights at 7pm on 95.3FM and on all Cowboy postgame shows on 105.3 The Fan. He can be seen on Channel 21 on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm. Join him for great food, sports, music and his TV show on Wednesday nights.

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Photo Courtesy: Keith Allison

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

When Men Were Men

By Cote Bailey comments@blitzweekly.com

Nowadays, Roger Goodell is trying his best to powderpuff up the National Football League. This was not always the case. There was a time, my good friends, when men could step on other men’s hands with sharpened cleats, when a good ‘ol kidney punch after a tackle was just your way of saying hello, a time…when men were men. If you put your ear real close to the paper while reading this you can still hear the bones breaking. TEN I Jack Tatum Oakland Raiders 1971-1979 Probably one of the reasons for the rushed development in protective wear department, this black and silver clad monster terrorized non-suspecting wide-outs (just ask Sammy White). Tatum was even responsible for a paralysis during his career…and he never apologized. I hear girl scouts are scared to ring his doorbell. NINE I “Mean Joe” Greene Pittsburgh Steelers 1969-1981 Besides the fact that the guy’s first name is Mean and he has one of the most famous Coke commercials of all-time, Mr. Greene actually spent most of his time pounding poor quarterback’s faces into the turf. This wasn’t some snarling ogre, heavens no; this was a snarling ogre with a rhyming name. EIGHT I Ronnie Lott San Francisco 49ers 1981-1990 The Commodore of Concussions ruled the secondary with an iron fist striking fear into the hearts of tight ends, receivers, wayward running backs, and neurologist everywhere. And you thought Ronnie was a girl’s name. SEVEN I Deacon Jones Los Angeles Rams 1961-1971 The holy Deacon baptized enough quaterbacks in his career to earn the nickname “The Secretary of Defense” – hallelujah. Just because he’s known as the “Greatest Ram of All-Time,” shouldn’t take away from his legacy. SIX I Troy Polamalu Pittsburgh Steelers 2003-Present Now, who would have thought you would have to fear the insane looking guy with Side Show Bob hair bursting through his helmet? The Head & Shoulders front man has been routinely pulverizing anyone or anything in his line of sight…and he’s been doing it all with perfect hair.

FIVE I Chuck Bednarik Philadelphia Eagles 1949-1962 Best remembered as the guy who sent Frank Gifford on the fast track to the announcer’s booth with a hit that would have made Tyson cry, “Concrete Charlie” laid his hits on hard. Legend is this tough S.O.B. would chew the bark of Sequoias and bend Buick engines on off days. FOUR I Dick Butkus Chicago Bears 1965-1973 Not before or since has there been a more feared Lithuanian on the gridiron. The 8x Pro Bowl selection reeked havoc on opposing offenses and by gosh he looked tough doing it. Too bad his acting career fell as hard as the running backs he hit. THREE I Mike Singletary Chicago Bears 1981-1992 Causer of stocks in the ice pack market to skyrocket for more than a decade, Iron Mike intimidated then annihilated. Sitting pretty at number 56 on The Sporting News’ top 100 list. Coach Singletary still makes QBs wet the bed in flashbacks. TWO I Ray Lewis Baltimore Ravens 1996-Present How can one say this gently? This man is an age defying superhuman freak of nature RUN RUN for your lives, your immortal soul depends upon it!! Now I’m not implying that Ray stays young by devouring the souls of those he tackles…am I? ONE I Lawrence Taylor New York Football Giants 1981-1993 Before all the crack smoking and child prostitution, “L.T.” made being an offensive coordinator a nightmare as week in and week out he delivered TiVo worthy hits without remorse. The Taylornator (in)famously hit Joe Theismann so hard that Theismann’s right leg has its own holiday named after it. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

September 21 – september 27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

Bring On The Redskins What a difference a week can make! After falling to the Jets 2724 in the NFL’s marquee opening week match-up on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, the Dallas Cowboys rebounded with a remarkable 27-24 victory against the San Francisco 49ers in the Bay Area at Candlestick Park. While many Cowboys fans were outraged with quarterback Tony Romo’s performance against the Jets, his output in the 49ers game bordered on heroic. After being declared “out” for the remainder of the game with a fractured rib, Romo made a triumphant return on the heels

of two Jon Kitna interceptions and put the injury plagued team on his back. He went 20/33 for 345 yards and two touchdowns. “One game doesn’t make a season,” Romo said. “The thing you have to do as a player is learn from that week. If you do, you can become a better football player from it. I learned.” Wide receiver Miles Austin was one of the Cowboys biggest stars of the game, having nine catches for 143 yards and three touchdowns. Austin was nearly the goat when he fumbled on a running play in which he also injured his hamstring. Fortunately, tackle Doug Free recovered and rookie Dan Bailey connected on a 48-

By Jay Betsill @THEFAMOUSJAY

yard game-tying field goal. With Austin out in overtime, Jesse Holley (the winner of Michael Irvin’s reality show 4th and Long) stepped up with a 77-yard reception that led to Bailey’s game-winning field goal. The win gives Dallas a road split at 1-1 to open the season before returning home next Monday night to Cowboys Stadium in Arlington against NFC East rival Washington Redskins. Washington is 2-0 after Sunday’s 22-21 win over the Arizona Cardinals. Two weeks into the season, these are not the Redskins that we have come to know and love as a team that will self-destruct if and when given the opportunity. Wash-

How It All Began

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

The Packers, Giants, 49ers, Eagles, Rams, Texans, Titans (Oilers), Chiefs (Texans), Steelers and Redskins all lay claim to being the chief rival of the Dallas Cowboys, but only the Redskins receive the dubious honor of being the most hated of rivals. From day one until now, the Redskins have no love for America’s Team. “George Allen never used to say ‘the Dallas Cowboys,’ it was always ‘the goddamned Dallas Cowboys.’ “It’s the Cowboys’ uniform. It strikes hate and loathing in my mind, almost in a Pavlovian sense.” These words uttered by John Wilbur lend unique perspective to one of the fiercest rivalries in the NFL. The offensive lineman played for both Tom Landry (1966-1969) and George Allen (1971-1974). Since the rivalry officially began in 1960, the Cowboys and Redskins have won a total of 27 division titles, Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

eight Super Bowls and have had 13 Super Bowl appearances. The 1960 Cowboys and Redskins weren’t in the same division and for the regular season game, the Redskins had the last laugh with a 26-14 victory at Griffith Stadium. A rivalry was born and the traditions are like no other. Rivalry Precedes Existence Clint Murchison, Jr, an oil tycoon tried unsuccessfully to bring an NFL team to Dallas in the 1950s. In 1958 he heard that the Redskins were for sale by owner George Preston Marshall. Just as the sale was about to be completed, Marshall put in a few changes causing Murchison to cancel the deal. About this time, Marshall had a falling out with Barnee Breeskin the Redskins band director. Breeskin had written the music for the Redskins fight song and wanted revenge for the falling out. He sold the rights to the fight song in which

the lyrics had been w wife to Murchison for Murchison unable team decided to cr To achieve this he approval from the NFL shop. The only owner was George Preston soon discovered tha the rights to the Red a deal was agreed u proved the Dallas fra son would return the song. As we now know chise was granted in It only gets bette the roster for the exp was allowed to choo from select NFL roste forgotten to protect P Eddie LeBaron. Murc to become the first newly created Dallas

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Cover Story ington dominated the Cardinals in every facet of their game, yet they found themselves trailing by eight in the fourth quarter. Washington quarterback Rex Grossman had two interceptions in the first quarter that contributed to the Arizona lead. Rather than folding up shop and losing at home, Grossman engineered two scoring drives, including an 18-yard touchdown pass on fourth-and-3. This brought the Skins to their first 2-0 start since 2007. “He showed the poise after having a couple of interceptions early — regardless of how they occurred — to come back and fight and find a way to win,” Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan

written by Marshall’s r $2500. e to acquire an NFL reate his own team. needed unanimous NFL owners to set up r against the proposal n Marshall. Marshall at Murchison owned dskins fight song and upon. If Marshall apanchise then Murchie rights to the fight w, the Cowboys franDallas. er… in order to build pansion team, Dallas ose available players ers. The Redskins had Pro Bowl quarterback chison chose LeBaron quarterback for the s Cowboys.

said of his starting quarterback. When the Redskins arrive in Arlington for the Cowboys home opener, they will be facing a banged up group. According to ESPN’s Chris Mortenson, the early word on running back Felix Jones was a separated shoulder and Miles Austin pulled his hamstring. The team believes he will be out through its bye week (Week Five -- Sunday October 9). Dallas was already without receiver Dez Bryant, cornerback Terence Newman and guard Bill Nagy. It is likely that this game will come down to a battle of the defensive units as Cowboys linebacker’s DeMarcus Ware and Jason Hatcher each had two sacks

Cowboy Chicken Club In December 1961 some Cowboys fans sneaked into D.C. Stadium with 76 chickens (there were 75 white chickens and one which was black) and chicken feed in an attempt to ruin the halftime Christmas show (Santa and his snow dogs). The black chicken was to represent how Marshall was the only owner in the league who would not recruit African-American players. The attempted mayhem was thwarted by a stadium usher who noticed the crates and wouldn’t accept a bribe. The following year the pranksters struck again by sneaking into Marshall’s hotel suite and dropping off a live turkey in his bathroom. When Marshall went into the bathroom the turkey gobbled at him causing Marshall to flee his suite. Minutes before kickoff, four banners reading “CHICKENS” were unfurled from D.C. Stadium’s upper decks. Then two acrobats rushed onto the field dressed in chicken

against San Francisco and London Fletcher is leading a resurgent Redskins defense. Rob Ryan’s Dallas defense will have to pay close attention to Redskins running back, Tim Hightower, after he racked up 96 yards on 20 carries against Arizona. Don’t forget that receiver Santana Moss has made his career by starring against the Cowboys. Meanwhile, it is very possible that the Redskins could be preparing for a Dallas receiving corps led by Kevin Ogletree and Jesse Holley. With the likelihood that Felix Jones could be out, expect a big ground game from Tashard Choice.

costumes and began throwing colored eggs. One was caught, but the other escaped. The escapee reached in a bag and released a live chicken and went back to throwing colored eggs. Apparently a group of security guards finally captured the costumed crusader temporarily. Once the National Anthem was over the two teams rushed the field and in the middle of the chaos, the costumed chicken escaped, but the real chicken was caught. Let the Games Begin The teams have met 101 times with the Cowboys leading the series with 60 wins. There have been two ties and in their two postseason meetings, the Redskins have won both games. There have been highs and lows for both teams in this heated rivalry. Perhaps, next time we’ll look into the impact games of the series. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Blitz babe of the week

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Restaurant review

Caribbean Café CHEZ CHAMBERLAIN: Hold the habaneras, and pass the plantains...

By Judy Chamberlain jchamberlain@blitzweekly.com

It would be nearly impossible to compare food in a Cuban restaurant in Dallas with what is actually served in Cuba without having been to Cuba. And, for sure, not many Americans have had that opportunity in the past forty or so years. What I know about Cuba is limited to stories overheard as a child about the abundant nightlife there in the 1950’s, trinkets (beach bags, purses, scarves) brought back by my aunts - and whatever trumpet player Arturo Sandoval chose to tell about it in his account of escaping to America, the one that was made into a movie starring Antonio Banderas. While I do know my way around a media noche sandwich and a Mojito or two, there is really no way to attest to what Cubans in Cuba would consider to be great food. That said, I was delighted to find Caribbean Café, a bustling bar by night and pleasant neighborhood restaurant by day that serves very good Cuban food. It was actually much better than I would have expected to find in an extremely low profile strip mall in the Webb Chapel/Beltline vicinity of Carrolton. The décor is very basic, but the menu is extremely comprehensive. Once you get past the gaggle of homeboys who appear to be a permanent fixture outside the restaurant, it becomes apparent that someone really cares about presenting high-quality food at affordable prices. That someone, I presume, is the owner. The employees take pride in the food here and are well-versed in the complexities of the menu. They also go out of their way to make diners feel welcome. This is not Mexican food, nor is it Tex Mex or

anything close to either of the two. The preponderance of offerings containing the ubiquitous Hispanic rice and beans notwithstanding. Cuban cuisine is a fusion of Haitian, Spanish, Dutch, African, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rican, Canary Islands and sometimes even Oriental spices, recipes and cooking techniques and ingredients and tends to utilize fresh, often tropical ingredients. One of the most delicious of Cuban preparations is the simple papa rellena, a croquetteish affair of ground meat and mashed potatoes rolled in eggs and breadcrumbs, and then deep fried. Caribbean Grill’s version is perfect. Puff pastry here would seem – although I cannot prove it, as the owner would not return my phone calls asking for confirmation of my hunch – to be totally made from scratch. It’s an important ingredient in Cuban cooking, used for meat-filled empanadas and also for quince and cream cheese-filled desserts. Like the papa rellenas, these cost less than a medium Diet Coke at McDonalds and a mini-assortment of one or two of any of the above would make a nice lunch for someone with a medium-sized appetite. Larger appetites will appreciate the excellent media noche sandwiches, named for their popularity as a midnight snack in Havana’s nightclubs and, later, as a late-night TV-watcher’s treat. I had

to take half of mine home in a doggie bag after lunch one day; they are huge! One of my favorite Cuban foods is the ubiquitous side order of plantains, a sort of banana that’s firmer and sweeter than the kind one eats for breakfast with a bowl of corn flakes. Fried, delicious and a perfect accompaniment to almost anything, they are a treat that’s not to be missed. I also highly recommend the house-made flan, a dense, cake-like version of the dessert that bears no resemblance whatsoever to the usual custard-textured variety. Caribbean Café is a treasure, a one-off that’s managed to thrive despite not being the location du jour of some fast-growing chain especially when one ventures away from downtown, uptown, the Park Cities and into the less bustling terrain of golf course-dotted burb-land.

Caribbean Café

1000 Webb Chapel Road Carrollton, TX 75006-7779 (972) 418-7071 • caribbeancafecuba.com Thu-Fri 11am-9pm; Sat 10am-9pm; Sun 12pm-7pm find more Restaurant Reviews on our website at: www.Blitzweekly.com

Dallas Polo Club

L E A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG

C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

Photos Courtesy: David Zeuthen, Lisa B, Vitor Malheiros Alves, Vanesser III, Nicole C. Engard

WED. 9/21

Wine Down Wednesday & Double Happy Hour State & Allen Lounge - Dallas With the wine being marked 25% off we might as well find a park bench and some crumpled newspaper. Mix and mingle then babble and tinkle. 10pm.

thurs. 9/22

VideoFest Angelica Film Center – Dallas If you have exhausted your DVR playbacks of Keeping Up with the Kardashians and your film library includes Hitch, perhaps you should get some couth about yourself and join the counter culture…its groovy man. 7pm.

fri. 9/23

Gods of Industry Bone - Dallas Perhaps not the same ones that Joel Olstein talks to, these Gods will be spreading the gospel of good music and good times and I’m pretty sure some debauchery will be in there somewhere. 10pm.

sat. 9/24

Brewtopia Central Market – Dallas The only place where its guaranteed that the women will get better looking as the day goes on. Come out to Brewtopia and see a land of bounty I say! It’s Brewtiful. 10am.

sun. 9/25

Mariners vs. Rangers Ballpark at Arlington – Dallas Take the whole family out to enjoy the last home game of the regular season. Although not as interesting as watching an actual seafaring lad battle a cowboy policeman, it should be exciting. 2:05pm.

mon. 9/26

Redskins vs. Cowboys Jerryworld – Arlington The Cowboys head home and look to avoid the ol’ tomahawk on Monday Night Football, let’s just hope it isn’t Custer’s Last Stand. Geronimo says be there. 7:30pm.

tues. 9/27

Cooking Class at Duo Duo – Dallas Its time to Wok-N-Roll! Learn the ABC’s of Asian cuisine and impress the lady friend next time its your turn to cook. Bow to your sensei at 6:30pm.

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27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3 Photo Courtesy: Richard Hebstreit

September 21 – september 14 Local Entertainment

By Fil Chapa chapa71@yahoo.com

with Jason Statham

Killer Elite casts Clive Owen, Jason Statham and Robert De Niro in the true story of two of the world’s most elite operatives, Danny Bryce (Statham) and Hunter (De Niro), who find themselves locked in a deadly game of cat and mouse against the cunning leader of a secret military society, played by Owen. The chase takes them from Australia to Paris, London and the Middle East. The predators become prey. I sat down with action superstar Statham to talk about the film and working with one of my cinematic heroes Robert De Niro. You play Danny Bryce, an ex military operative who at this point is really just minding his own business. How does he get pulled into this adventure? We find Danny in a part of the world where he’s finding his retirement quite cushy. He’s dragged back into a situation to free his mentor played by Robert De Niro, who is being held hostage at the time, and if he doesn’t take on the job, then Robert De Niro [Hunter] dies; so, it’s a situation that’s out of his control, and he has to do it. Speaking of De Niro. We get to see him in a way he hasn’t been seen on screen in a very

A Look Inside the Killer Elite

By Vivian Fullerlove vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com long time. What was your favorite part of working with an actor who many consider the best in the business? It’s hard to choose your moments. The whole experience was probably the best I’ve had in terms of my career, and to single out a particular scene would be difficult, but if I could say any scene with Robert De Niro would be the most memorable, then I wouldn’t be far from the truth. You’ve also had high praise for the film’s director Gary McKendry, and I think it’s worth noting, this is only his second feature film to direct. For someone who doesn’t come with twenty years of experience, he shows the signs of someone with more than that. His confidence is unbreakable, and I think this guy is just someone to be reckoned with. Well, you continue to amaze your fans with the intensity that you bring to every role and the sheer physical commitment you make to all of your characters and films. We’re always doing special training; well, I wouldn’t say special training. I know how to hold a gun. The physical

Well, you know I always encourage movie fans to check it out and decide for yourself! Killer Elite hits theatres nationwide this week. The film is rated R for strong violence, some language, sexuality and nudity.

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

preparation is going to happen. I do it for every movie, and the stunt training and the choreography, you just have to have the right team with you. What can fans expect when they go and see Killer Elite? A lot of the films we see now in the movie theatres are just pure fantasy. It’s all about the explosions, the action, there [are] no characters in them that you care about. This is about real people, doing real things, and trying to overcome a situation, and I think there’s a lot to be said for that. And if you can tie that sort of dramatic thing in with the action, I think you’ve got a great film.

HollywoodProfile

“It’s hookers and blow from here on.” I think it’s safe to say Jason Statham could make a fortune as a retirement specialist. Originally entitled Feathermen, the novel on which it’s based, Killer Elite is the true story of a group of ex-members of the elite British Special Air Service (SAS). Based on the novel by Ranulph Fiennes and directed by Gary McKendry, this wild action thriller takes place during a time of economic turmoil and an impending oil crisis. No, it’s not 2011, but over a quarter century ago during the reign of OPEC (Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries). With the consolidation of power came an explosion of wealth and greed among a select few at the helm of conspiring nations. Maintaining a stranglehold on international oil markets brought about an uprising of desperate terrorists wanting to gain a competitive advantage by “any means necessary.” This usually meant the kidnapping and murder of family members of oil Sheiks. This possibility brought about a need for mercenaries to help eliminate those responsible. Ex-special forces with “no uniform” and “no war” were a perfect fit for the job. The money wasn’t bad either. Hunter (Robert De Niro) is a salt of the earth New Yorker who despite having tasted fine cuisine all over the world still prefers a hot dog at Nathan’s to migas in Monterrey. Hunter and his protégé Danny Bryce (Statham) span the globe using their “unique” set of skills to work as contract killers for gang lords and ruthless leaders who refuse to do their own dirty work. Statham and De Niro are terrific in the mentor/pupil relationship. Hunter however, is supposed to be the older, more reasonable father figure, while the younger, hotheaded Danny should be the rebel with nothing to lose. That is until a devastating discovery during a “routine“ assassination brings things into perspective for Danny, he does what so few are willing to, he steps back and realigns his priorities. After being out of the game for a while, he learns of the kidnapping of his longtime cohort and must make the decision to come out of retirement and dive headfirst into his sinister past. There he meets Spike, the cycloptic counterspy, played surprisingly well by the normally conservative Clive Owen. Animosity coupled with an unspoken respect between Danny and Spike creates a backdrop for some well thought out and perfectly executed bareknuckle encounters that would have Jason Bourne scratching his head. The sprinkles of predictable, tough guy movie one-liners, and slightly long running time are not enough to bring this instant spy thriller classic out of the stratosphere.

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Photo Courtesy: Matt Becker

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

A Musical Generation

By Tommy Smith tsmith@blitzweekly.com

As a young lad experiencing the sounds of music for the first time, I was saddled by what my parent’s record collection had to offer. I am not quite sure how old I was when my ear for music developed, but I began to take an interest in the late ‘70s early ‘80s. The records ranged from Pink Floyd’s The Wall to anything by Neil Diamond or Barry Manilow. I can remember my mother sippin’ the sauce one night as she laid out the lyrics to “Mandy.” Twenty-five years later I was doing the same, but the band was TOOL. It was a few years before I was able to see past Lipps, Inc. You remember them? Funky Town… My parents had the 8-track. Those were not the days! At about 10-years-old I knew all the words to “Back Side of Thirty” and “Rose Colored Glasses,” but had not yet heard Led Zeppelin or the Rolling Stones. It was the greatness of K-Tel Records that opened my eyes to Rock and Roll! These were records put out that were a combination of bands and tunes like a greatest hits of the time kind of thing. I think they were first available as television offers, but later sold in record stores. My neighbor had one that had “I Was Made for Lovin’ You” by KISS. Yes, this is a disco song not a rock and roll song, however it opened my eyes to the rest of KISS and the Alive Album and I was off. My first concert was AC/DC and Fastway at Reunion Arena. I remember sitting in the upper balcony covering my mouth and nose so I would not inhale! Can you imagine the look on the people’s faces around me? I think they all would have gladly had my share of whatever was going around. A few months later I saw Metallica and Ozzy Osbourne in Fort Worth. I picked up a guitar for the first time in the sixth grade. My parents sprung for a $15 beauty at a garage sale thinking it would be all they would invest in musical equipment. They were sorely mistaken. I played guitar everyday for about six years, only to give it up when I went to college. A

Fender, B. C. Rich, ADA post and Pre Amps, foot controllers and speakers were to be the rest of my parents’ musical equipment purchases. Of course, I sold all that during my freshman year for pizza and beer. I have since taken up my guitar again, this time acoustic. I reminisce about my musical journey as I watch my six-year-old son begin his own. The first thing I exposed him to on the radio was The Ticket radio station. He tells me to turn it down while he is in the car due to the mature theme and profanity. That is similar to my situation at the AC/ DC concert, I guess. My son got into my wife’s Christian music and my heavy metal/ grunge collection. TOOL, Godsmack, Alice in Chains, you know. After a few runs through those CD’s he grew tired and has since found his groove… Selena Gomez! I was able to avoid the whole “Boy Band” era as a kid and thought that “Mall Rock” was dead and gone along with the CD, but much to my surprise it is alive and putting out hits. Kids Bop 20 debuted at number two and Selena Gomez was number 10 on Billboard’s Top 200. The Disney channel is full of young pretty faces waiting to burst on to the charts singing someone else’s song. Justin Bieber has more fans on twitter than the President but not as many as Lady Gaga. Huh? So my son has begun his musical journey and I begin a new one along with him. So much has changed in the industry with digital music. There are hardly any musicians anymore just good samplers. It is about that time that my son starts playing an instrument and to give you a good sign of the times he told me he would rather hip hop dance! Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

September 21 – september 27, 2011

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

Man world

Photo Courtesy: David Goodspeed

The SPECS VEHICLE TYPE: Front-engine, AWD, 5-pass, 4-door, sedan or hatchback

2011 Subaru Impreza WRX STi:

Engine 2.5L/305-hp/290-lb-ft turbocharged DOHC 16-valve flat-4

More Aero and Handles Better

The ubiquitous star of the World Rally Championship circuit and edgy Xgame competition has brought even more excitement and performance to the model you and I can call a daily driver. In 2008, Subaru redesigned and rebuilt the entire Impreza lineup. In 2009, the WRX team worked toward a goal termed “Kyo-Ka” (translated from Japanese as “strengthening”) to make the Impreza model even more appealing to factory tuner aficionados. In 2011, buyers now have a choice of two body styles with the STi logo for the first time ever. A “wide and low” four-door sedan model returns to accompany the five-door sportwagon and with it the return of the big wing spoiler on back. Building up from the all-new platform, Subaru engineers have given the 2011 WRX STi significantly enhanced

suspension tuning, stiffer spring rates, larger stabilizer bars and re-tuned suspension damping. They have also added a new damper valve to the steering gearbox for improved steering feel and better response. The model is better balanced as well, thanks to lowering the engine mounting height, and of course being a Subaru, WRX features standard symmetrical all-wheel-drive keeping this little rocket glued to road at all times. If you were to look up “corners on a dime” in wikipedia they would probably have a picture of the Impreza WRX STi listed there. Subaru’s great little 2.5-liter “Boxer” four-cylinder engine cranks out a beefy 305 horsepower and 290 lb. ft. of torque and takes full advantage of the chassis and suspension upgrades for a real “showroom to track” experience. Fuel economy rolls in at 17 mpg city and 23 mpg highway. While base Imprezas can be ordered with an automatic

By David Goodspeed dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com

Transmission 6-speed manual

transmission, the six-speed manual gearbox with triplecone synchronizers on the low gears is the only way to go for the STi. Shifts are solid and tight and the clutch will not wear out your left calf muscle even in stop and go traffic. The WRX manual transmission also features the automaker’s antirollback technology so hill starts are a snap as well. The driving experience in the STi is enhanced even more thanks to multimode driver controlled center differential on the AWD system, as well as, Subaru’s Intelligent Drive (SI-DRIVE) offering three settings – intelligent, sport and sport sharp – to match the demands of the driver and the moment. Attaching the WRX STi to the road-

Curb weight 3400 lb Wheelbase 103.3 in Length x width x height 173.8-180.3 x 70.7 x 57.9 in way are 18-inch BBS alloys 0-60 mph sporting sticky Dunlop summer 4.8 sec performance rubber. Braking is accomplished thanks EPA city/hwy fuel econ to the Brembo Performance 17/23 mpg Brake System that employs ventilated four-wheel discs at each corner along with Super Sport ing wheel mounted controls, Bluetooth ABS technology to enhance stability and iPod connectivity, and our tester under hard braking. Inside we find a came with the GPS nav system. perfect blend of performance paired Pricing for the 2011 Subaru WRX with comfort including leather sport STi sedan begins at $37,345 with our bucket seating, power moonroof, HID test model arriving at $39,870. Domo headlamps, audio system with steer- arigato Kyo-Ka.

The Difference Between a Man and a Boy is the Price of his Toys! these are for sure to make your want list! Dyson Hot It’s (almost) that time of year again: the time for jeans, hoodies, fires, and if you work in a drafty office, space heaters. Instead of relying on some eyesore to keep you warm this year, upgrade to the Dyson Hot. Built using the same technology as the company’s Air Multiplier fans, the Hot uses bladeless technology. A heating element built safely into the base, a thermostat control, and an oscillating motor to push hot air across any space, keeping you warm and your area free of fire-hazards. Price: $400

Fridge Monkey In case you haven’t noticed, most normal refrigerators just aren’t built to hold lots of beer — especially beautiful, perfectly balanced pyramids of beer. Enter the Fridge Monkey ($7). This simple, washable, rubber mat features perfectly spaced ridges that let you stack up to ten cans or bottles of soda or beer — or five wine bottles, or any combination thereof — in geometric harmony without fear of the whole thing tumbling down. Price: $7

8.5 out of 10 Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Console: PC, 360, PS3, Wii Rating: T for Teen Developers: Ubisoft Reflections

inspired car chase puts our hero Tanner into a coma. Then things get trippy. The most recent installment of Driver brings in the “shift” element, which allows you to commandeer any vehicle with a couple of button taps. You then hover above the city, select any passing car and bing-bam-boom you’re behind the wheel. Large landscapes and criminals galore keep the game interesting. The missions seem endless, but no worries the shift feature allows you to bounce around the city with minimal effort. Tanner’s pursuit of Jericho takes you through multiple storylines throughout

By Cote Bailey comments@blitzweekly.com

Driver: San Francisco High-speed chases, Michael Bay worthy driving sequences, and being one badass cop are all a part of the Driver: San Francisco John Tanner experience. You get to cozy up in the driver’s seat of his everyday life as one of SF’s finest. Pick up where Driv3r left off, as criminal virtuoso Jericho escapes his Turkish prison and heads to San Francisco only to go right back to jail. Ultimately, Jericho escapes…again and during a Hollywood

your (mostly) four-wheeled adventure. With Driver: San Francisco the possibilities of the road are endless; racing, chasing, smashing, crashing…well ok, I guess that’s where it ends. Be that as it may, the game still offers gameplay that is at least entertaining and at most a valid enough cause of procrastination. Go garage shopping and grab some of the most awesome cars imaginable from the legendary Zonda to Ford GT’s and for those of you who don’t even want to leave your carbon-footprint on a video game there’s the Fiat 500. Wussies.

September 21 – september 27, 2011

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because it felt crummy. Q: How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? A: Pretty hot.

Giving Is Receiving A wife arrives home after a business trip and finds her husband in bed with a gorgeous coed. Just as the wife is about to storm out of the house, the husband says, “Before you leave you should know exactly how this came about. This afternoon Julie here rang our doorbell and asked for clothing donations for a charity. I gave her those shoes you no longer wear. I rummaged around and found that birthday sweater you hate and all the suits you claim don’t fit you anymore. So I donated them too. Then she asked, ‘Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?’ So, here we are.”

Blitz Funnys

ADDICTIVE PORK SKINS? While U.S. authorities seized less than 1 percent of the estimated $18-$39 billion in drugs smuggled across the Mexican border in the last two years, in July 2011, El Paso border officials were able to confiscate 3 kilograms of raw pig rind, and fine the 37-year-old “smuggler” $300.

Virgo August 23 – September 22 The spirit of Mariah Carey will take over your body forcing you to watch Glitter non-stop this weekend while taking a bubble bath.

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 Even though your parents tried to share their love equally among all their children the truth is they didn’t. Sucks to be you.

Libra September 23 – October 22 Your Oktoberfest celebration goes awry when you find a bunch of skinheads in your backyard looking for that autographed copy of Mein Kampf.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Your ego will be damaged this week when your girlfriend leaves you for some guy named John, a “much better pizza delivery driver.”

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Your drunken attempt to slit your wrists on Saturday night will result in hilarity as doctors try to explain those missing eyebrows.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Your family will disown you when you decide to order a Cleveland Steamer at the Dallas Fish Market.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 Your love of clowns goes too far when you are seen trying to have sex with Ronald McDonald. Aries March 21 – April 19 Your special date will abruptly end on Saturday when you detonate your date’s colostomy bag. Taurus April 20 – May 20 In memory of your favorite Uncle Todd, open fire on innocent patrons of a fast food restaurant in Addison.

ACROSS: 1. Ottoman title 6. Tins 10. Foot digits 14. Part of the small intestine 15. Found in skin lotion 16. “Listen!” 17. Acquire knowledge 18. A hollow in a cliff 19. Jacob’s brother 20. Stationery 22. Prefix meaning “After” or “Beyond” 23. Take to court 24. Lariat 26. Savvy 30. A group of lions 32. Fake 33. Silent 37. Identical 38. Being in debt to 39. Sheltered spot 40. Cause to feel self-conscious 42. Short-horned goat antelope 43. A series of connected rooms 44. Let up 45. Existence

47. Governor (abbrev.) 48. A university administrator 49. Habitual 56. Rend 57. Midday 58. Gossip 59. Matures 60. Initial wager 61. Set straight 62. Untidyness 63. Bottom of the barrel 64. Rent DOWN: 1. Tablet 2. Out of the wind 3. Chair 4. Ache 5. Pardon 6. Stockpile 7. Wings 8. Exploded star 9. Very young tree 10. Not ourselves 11. Fertile areas in deserts 12. A Muse 13. Gull-like bird

HEY SERGEANT, LOOK AT THE NOSE AND TAIL ON THIS GUY The Dallas Morning News reported June 19, 2001, police were “investigating the death of a man found dead” in a wooded area of Dallas. The story also reported the “cause of death had not been determined.” The next day, the paper ran a “Correction” reading: “Because of erroneous information provided by Dallas police, a brief in Tuesday’s Metro section incorrectly said a man’s body was found Monday night... Police said Tuesday that the corpse found was that of a dog.”

Gemini May 21 – June 21 Take comfort knowing that your funeral next Tuesday will set attendance records at American Airlines Center, as the entire Metroplex celebrates. Cancer June 22 – July 22 Even though you’ve made countless sacrifices to Venus, there will be no loss of virginity this week for you my friend. Leo July 23 – August 22 You will become immortalized this Friday for your lack of table manners and chronic belching at the Golden Corral.

21. Regret 25. Tally 26. Basilica area 27. Fraud 28. Grave 29. Feelings of anxiety 30. Assuredness 31. Flees on foot 33. Smack 34. Cobs of corn 35. Gin flavor 36. Stitched 38. One of a kind 41. Hurry on foot 42. A few 44. A parcel of land 45. Ecru 46. Overhangs 47. Units of heredity 48. Apothecary’s weight 50. Not a single one 51. Select by ballot 52. Govern 53. Dogfish 54. Garb 55. Coastal raptor

Solution on Page 18

SHE WAS ONLY PROMISCUOUS WHEN PREGNANT The only legitimate child of Roman Emperor August Caesar was his daughter, Julia, who was well known for her promiscuous behavior. Once asked by a friend how she made sure all five of her children looked like her husband, Marcus Agrippa, she admitted, “Passengers are not allowed on board until the hold is full.” (“numquam enim nisi navi plena tollo vectorem.”)

Q: Why’d the blonde have lipstick smeared on her steering wheel? A: She tried to blow the horn.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

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September 21 – september 27, 2011

The CLOSER

Social Transgressions

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In the grand scheme of things, I think I’m a pretty nice guy. Sure, I’ve got a few rough edges, but I try to write those off as the charming quirks of being a unique character. I always open doors for old ladies, swerve to miss squirrels that dart out in front of my car, and hold firmly to the manrule that you never punch a guy in the face if he’s wearing glasses, or kick him in the crotch, unless of course, you’re engaged in a real fight, and then all bets are off. (And yes, there is a distinctive difference between a fun fight and a real fight…but we’ll leave that for later.) Lately, my kinder, gentler nation attitude is starting to make me feel a little like the odd man out. Apparently, self-centered, inconsiderate behavior is more the norm these days, and frankly, it’s starting to really piss me off. Here are a few of the more common social transgressions that twist my nipples, and if you’re thinking, ‘Hey, those don’t bother me,’ then you’re probably one of the idiots doing them. If that’s the case, then stop it!!! Your Kid Is Not Cute: I love kids, but mostly I love my own kids (because they’re perfect). What I don’t like is when I’m standing in line at the bank, or the grocery store, or the fast-food joint, and some un-tethered little menace toddles over and latches on to my leg and wipes a bunch of snot bubbles off on my pants. Then, while he coos and jabbers some untellable nonsense, his Mommy looks around at everyone and says, “Isn’t he just the cutest thing you ever saw?” No, lady, he’s not. He might be cute if you were hold-

ing him, or had him strapped in a stroller, or you showed me a picture of him surrounded by bunnies and teddy bears, but unless that huge sag in the back of his diaper is a fistful of dry cleaning coupons, please get him off my leg! If You Can’t Park It, Don’t Drive It: Yeah, this is Texas, and dual cab, four-wheeldrive pickups and massive SUV’s are king. However, if you can’t manage the simple driving dynamics of maneuvering your motorized behemoth between two of those little white lines in the parking lot, then just leave the damn thing home and drive something you can manage. If You Can’t Use The Machine, Pay Cash: If it were as complicated as a mission control panel at NASA, I might understand the confusion, but it’s ten numbered keys and green and red Yes and No buttons. So what’s the confusion? When I see people holding up the line and fumbling around with the ATM machine at the checkout counter, like a fifteen-year-old boy trying to figure out how to unhook a bra in the back seat of his Camaro, it makes me crazy! I think they need to rig those machines so that if you make three unsuccessful tries, it chews your card to shreds, shoots a charge of 10,000 volts through the end of your finger, and then while you’re dazed, sprays a big read Cash Only brand across your forehead in bright red indel-

ible ink. (Hey, I bet I could teach that kid that blew snot bubbles on my pants to use that machine…why can’t you?) Respect The Line: When you drive, you know better than to ride up on the bumper of the car in front of you. It’s dangerous and inconsiderate. So why is it when people stand in line somewhere, they think they need to scrunch right up against the person in front of them? It doesn’t make the line move any faster, and it doesn’t make the waiting experience any more fun. So why in the hell do they do it? I don’t want to smell your cologne. I don’t want to hear more of your irritating cell phone conversation, and I damn sure don’t want you pushing up against me, unless of course, you’re begging to learn the difference between a fun fight, and a real fight.

Save Them TATAs By Hannah Allen hallen@blitzweekly.com

Surfer on Acid Ingredients: 1/2 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur 1/2 oz Malibu coconut rum 1/2 oz pineapple juice

By Dennis Hambright dennishambright@hotmail.com

Pig’s Eye Pilsner Brewed by: Pig’s Eye Brewing Company ABV: 4.55% This is exactly what a pilsner should taste like; cool, refreshing, not too complicated, no aftertaste. The beer pours a clear light yellow color with a white head. The aroma is that of grain and lemons with not too much more. The flavor is mainly grain, lemons and yeast. Medium mouth feel and some carbonation.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only person who gets sick of all the gimmick-y celebrity endorsed nonsense for otherwise serious health conditions. I sometimes feel like donating money to an organization who’s books and payroll info I have no access too is like “donating” money to a friend with a gambling problem – I don’t actually know where it’s going to end up. This sounds horrible, I know. During my foray into the local music scene I’ve seen several acts and individuals I otherwise respected refer to performing at benefits as “bullsh!t,” or “something they don’t really do.” I struggle to understand the mindset, but assume it’s because a local situation is taken and turned into a platform for a national charity one might not know the ins and outs of. When my friend Frankie suggested I write about an upcoming benefit at LaGrange for A to Zed Photography’s Stephanie Hastings I humored her initially but the title, “Save the TA Tas” piqued my interest. My search lead me to Broads and Panties Burlesque, a Burlesque in the metroplex. Vivienne Vermouth, founder and leader of the outfit, said her friend, Stephanie told her over pints at the Anvil Pub that she’d been diagnosed with

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stage two breast cancer. Vivienne was worried more about what her options for income were during treatment than access to treatment itself. As a self-employed photographer and service industry employee Stephanie’s resources are limited. As a mother of two and still under 40 this was the last thing she was prepared for. Vivienne went to LaGrange, where Stephanie works and pitched the idea of a monster benefit to the powers that be. Vivienne suggested that proceeds could be donated directly to Stephanie’s household (for her rent, for food for her two sons and for utility bills) during the treatment she’d undoubtedly be undergoing. She headed out to rally the troops in the Deep Ellum community and turned the concept of a local benefit show into an all out do-not-miss extravaganza. Booked to play the show are three incredibly diverse bands, One Red Cent, Parallel Play and, Stephanie’s favorite, Responsible Johnny. Vivienne’s Burlesque troupe, Broads and Panties, will perform an entire show the evening preceding the event at LaGrange as well as to do mininumbers in between the band’s sets. Lastly, she

enlisted the help of local visual and tattoo artists who are offering deep discounts on services in the form of a silent auction and raffle during the LaGrange benefit, proceeds, of course, going to Stephanie Hastings. My inner cynic seems appeased by this idea that we can support an artist through other artists. Vivienne Vermouth makes no bones about her stance on the subject, “Artists are the ones that document our lives. Think about paintings on cave walls, artists documented that and now it’s part of what we know about that time period. Because of artists.” September 23rd Save the TATAs benefit at LaGrange in Deep Ellum will start at 10pm with the doors opening at 7pm with a $5 suggested donation at the door. See the full article at www.blitzweekly.com

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 3

September 21 – september 27, 2011

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