Victim takes fake weapon and beats would-be robber
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Photo Courtesy: Zohar Elkayam
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VOL. 3 - ISSUE 9
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 3
QUOTE OF THE WEEK “Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.” — Chris Rock
Police said a man using a fake gun in a San Fernando Valley stickup was beaten with the prop weapon when the would-be victim took it from him. Los Angeles police Sgt. Jeff Collado told City News Service on Thursday that the attempted robbery suspect was bloodied and he was hospitalized. His name hasn’t been released. The sergeant said the man confronted the would-be victim at 11:40 p.m. Wednesday in the valley’s Winnetka area 25 miles northwest of downtown Los Angeles. The intended victim modestly refused to be recognized for his heroics. His name, too, is being withheld.
Couple sue after Mega Death sauce hospitalizes son
Some don’t like it hot. A Steak ’n Shake restaurant in Cleveland, Tenn., was sued by a couple who claimed it served a hot sauce that sent their son to the hospital. Tim and Mary Katherine Gann said a restaurant server gave their minor child a bottle of Blair’s Mega Death Sauce for his chili and encouraged him to eat some. When he did, he broke out in hives, had trouble breathing and suffered severe pain. The brand isn’t customarily served by the chain, according to the Cleveland Daily Banner. Mega Death’s maker warns that it’s “500 times hotter than a jalapeño.” A spokeswoman for franchise owner Debbie Richmond said Thursday the company wasn’t commenting. The lawsuit seeks $10,000 in compensation and $50,000 punitive damages.
Andrew J. Hewett
www.chewednews.com
I’M KILLING MY GOATS! NO, I’M KILLING MY GOATS! NO, I’M…
From Patna, India, on Oct. 18, 2010, news services reported an argument at a Hindu festival over goat sacrificing that caused a stampede among 40,000, including many drunk “believers”— adding that 10 people were killed, with others injured. (So next time somebody “gets your goat,” chill out.)
SING: TIE A YELLOW RIBBON ‘ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE
1,810-lb. Wisconsin pumpkin named world’s heaviest
Guinness World Records has confirmed that a massive pumpkin grown in Wisconsin is officially the world’s heaviest. The gourd grown this year by Chris Stevens of New Richmond tips the scales at 1,810.5 pounds. That’s 85 pounds heavier than the previous record, a 1,725-pound pumpkin grown last year in Ohio. Stevens’ pumpkin has a circumference of 186.5 inches, or more than 15 feet. Stem-side up the pumpkin is more than waist-high to an average-size person. Stevens unveiled his pumpkin earlier this month at the Stillwater Harvest Fest in Minnesota. He said at the time his secret is a precise mixture of sunshine, rain, cow manure, fish emulsion and seaweed.
According to David Allen Sibley’s book, The Sibley Guide To Trees, if you plant an acorn today, no matter how young and healthy you may be, you’ll die before that “seed” matures into an oak tree. Some grown trees today were alive when Columbus landed in the New World. And at least a few were already old during Julius Caesar’s reign (Oct. 49 BC - March 44 BC).
WHY? HE HAD A $200,000 LIFE INSURANCE POLICY
From Houston, Texas, Oct. 19, 2010, the Associated Press reported Susan Wright, 34, was being resentenced for the 2003 murder of her 34-year-old husband, Jeffery. Earlier, she had been sentenced to 25 years in prison for, according to Harris County prosecutor Connie Spence, tying her husband’s wrists and ankles to their bed, before stabbing him in his head, face, neck, chest, abdomen, sexual organ, thighs, totaling 193 stab wounds.
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4 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010
HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Bruce Willis
by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”
Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ernest Borgnine, John Malkovich and the list goes on and on. No this isn’t the VIP guest list for the Vanity Fair Oscar party, it’s a portion of the star-studded lineup of the new action-adventure/comedy Red. We caught up with one of the many stars of the film, Bruce Willis, who plays former black ops agent Frank Moses. He reassembles his old team in a last-ditch effort to survive when his now idyllic life is threatened by a high-tech assassin. What drives your character out of retirement? He’s been retired and come to accept his fate, but then comes a series of circumstances. Had he been left alone, had the company not tried to come after him and erase the file, he would have stayed where he was, but they got him mad and got all his old friends mad, and they decide to help him out. Are they eager to get back in the mix? They were kicked off the old team too and don’t have that much to do, and they miss their old job and the excitement of it.
These friends are made up of a very impressive cast of characters. What was it like working with so many other huge movie stars? It was really incredible to get all the actors just to do it. You rarely get to work with so many actors that you’re a fan of. It was a mutual admiration society. I think once people start to see the film and start talking about it, I think the big shining light of it is that every five minutes a new movie star shows up. Who of all your fellow castmates was the most pleasant surprise to work with? Mary Louise Parker. She’s really funny. She has great timing and was great to work with. She shows up and has ideas that are always a surprise and just make you go “Oh!” That gave me the leeway to try something a little out of my comfort zone. RED is an acronym for what? Retired Extremely Dangerous. To see this ensemble prove they are still armed and still dangerous, you can check out RED tonight! The film is playing nationwide and it is rated PG-13 for intense scenes of action and violence and brief strong language.
by: Jonathan Sullivan “www.movietobo.com”
Jackass 3D It’s been ten years since Johnny Knoxville and his crew of masochists first unleashed Jackass upon the world. Now for their third feature-length go around, they have upped the ante by bringing it into the third dimension. Jackass 3D features all the stunts you’d expect; people getting hit in the testicles, people vomiting, bodily fluids/appendages flying around, pranks on both each other and on the unassuming masses, and so on and so forth. With the added dimension, the crew manages to outdo themselves and, even more shockingly, create one of the best 3D movies that has come out since the medium was first pushed down our throats last year. Why the movie works in 3D is because they embrace the gimmicky aspects of it; everything flies at you, from feces to paintballs to urine to vomit, and it’s spectacular in the most macabre of senses. The 3D also does a wonderful job of putting you right into the action and throughout Jackass 3D I felt like I was right by Knoxville as he got run over by a buffalo or right by Ryan Dunn as he attempted to go off a ramp into a pool by way of a wheelbarrow. This isn’t some gimmicky up-conversion that was quickly hashed out to get your money, folks; this is the real deal.
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Not only is the 3D excellent, but the crew also uses a series of slo-mo shots to highlight just how brutal everything is. In particular, Bam Margera has a couple of sequences where he splashes water into someone’s face and then proceeds to punch him as hard as he can to obtain the same effect used in the Rocky movies. Although the joke isn’t that funny, the technical aspect of it is beautiful and the other slo-mo scenes are great on a visual level. A movie like Jackass 3D is hard to review because it isn’t really a movie per se—rather a bunch of skits stitched together for the masses’ perverse enjoyment. The 3D, while usually a burden, actually heightens the whole experience and makes this one of the few movies in this medium I’ve seen that I would actually recommend to someone. While the stunts may not be as fresh and original as they were once (after a decade, how could they be?), it’s still as funny as it was when you were a teenager recreating the stunts in your backyard. This is definitely worth your hard-earned money, as long as you have an iron stomach and a love of watching people hurt themselves in novel ways. And in the age of YouTube, who doesn’t love stuff like this?
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 5
Photo Courtesy: Ed Westerman
I hate to pigeon-hole an artist’s style, but for the uninitiated (as if the name didn’t say it), the DriveBy Truckers are an “alternative country/Southern rock band” based in Athens, Georgia, though three out of six members (Mike Cooley, Patterson Hood, and the lovely and talented Shonna Tucker) are originally from the Shoals region of Northern Alabama. You think SKYNYRD right away, but no...Patterson ignored or shunned the so-called “Southern thing” till much later on. He now embraces, and uses, this concept and all the inherent racial and socio-economic aspects of growing up in the South. Like many alternative country acts, the Drive-By Truckers record in analog (using 2-inch tape) and unlike the majority of their contemporaries, the Drive-By Truckers have consistently released records on vinyl. Drive-By Truckers was co-founded by Patterson Hood and his longtime friend and musical partner Mike Cooley in Athens, Georgia, in 1996. The two had played in various other bands including Adam’s House Cat which was chosen as a top ten Best Unsigned Band by a Musician contest in the late 1980s. After the demise of Adam’s House Cat, Cooley and Hood performed as a duo under the name “Virgil Kane.” They eventually started a new band, “Horsepussy,” before splitting for a few years. It was during this split that Hood moved to Athens, Georgia and began forming what would become Drive-By Truckers “with the intent of luring Cooley back into the fold.” Thankfully, it worked. While they were still this will take away the hyphenation of Truckers, which is wrong a revolving group of musicians, Drive-By Truckers put out their first two albums, Gangstabilly (1998) and Pizza Deliverance (1999). Following their second release, the band embarked on a nationwide tour, resulting in a live album called Alabama Ass Whuppin’ in 2002. They had an entertaining and informative website long before most bands had begun taking advantage of the internet as a promotional tool. It is the band’s constant touring, however, that helps them maintain a large and dedicated fan base. Their newest release is “The Big To-Do,” the Drive-By Truckers’ first album for Dave Matthews’ ATO Records, and marks the studio debut of keyboardist Jay Gonzalez, who takes over the role played formerly by veteran R&B session guy Spooner Oldham. They did a Texas swing on the tour supporting this release recently—Houston, Stubbs in Austin, and House of Blues in Dallas on Sept 25th. Apart from the overt hillbilly lyrics and Southern working-class angst, the live shows are all about the musicianship, plus a bottle of Jack Black sitting on the amp. But look behind, and around, the band. Notice the dust-bowlera artwork of Wes Freed who has helped the DBT’s to craft an artistic image that transcends the bar-band persona that might otherwise have been applied. This truck is driven by two drivers—two guys who share the spotlight. Two guys who admittedly couldn’t be more different, yet make the formula work. Patterson and Cooley are the Southern-fried odd couple, yet they work together like a finely tuned engine to create some fine musical stylings.
Drive-By Truckers - A Blessing and A Curse
4. Marry Me
Drive-By Truckers - Decoration Day
5. The Tough Sell
Drive-By Truckers - Gangstabilly
6. The Three Great Albama Icons
Drive-By Truckers - Southern Rock Opera
7. Perfect Timing
Drive-By Truckers - Brighter Than Creation’s Dark
8. Zip City
Drive-By Truckers - Southern Rock Opera
9. This F#ckin’ Job
Drive-By Truckers - The Big To-Do
10. Space City
Drive-By Truckers - A Blessing and A Curse
Thur 10/28
www.edwesterman.com
Fuel Trees – Dallas Brett Scallions is back. You remember their hits, but if you’ve forgotten, go download “Shimmer,” “Hemorrhage,” “Bad Day” and “Falls on Me.”
Fri 10/29
by: Ed Westerman
Drive-By Truckers - Dirty South
3. Gravity’s Gone
Nightmare Before Halloween with CHAMPA The Bone - Dallas Party on the rooftop patio! They’re shooting a video. There’s money to be had for costumes worn. Now go get dressed up!
Sat 10/30
Open Mike Night Hyena’s Comedy Club – Arlington Think you’re funny? Haven’t had a good laugh in a while? Check out the competition then try out your act. Go ahead funny man! Make us laugh.
Harambee Festival MLK, Jr. Center – Dallas It’s the 36th annual celebration. Get up early and take the Heritage Walk, see the arts and crafts, visit the various vendors. You might learn something.
Sun 10/31
2. Where the Devil Don’t Stay
Wed 10/27
Danzig, Possessed, Marduk, Toxic Holocaust, Withered South Side Music Hall – Dallas Mother…Do you want to… you know the rest. What a way to spend Halloween, getting ghoulish with these bands! Glenn will break out some old Misfits tunes while he’s at it. He always does.
Mon 11/1
Drive-By Truckers - Brighter Than Creation’s Dark
Fiery Pool: Maya and the Mythic Sea Kimball Art Museum – Ft. Worth Head over to Ft. Worth and see some of this culture’s finest art on display. Over 90 works to take in.
Tue 11/2
Gwar House of Blues – Dallas Going through Halloween withdrawals? Seeing Gwar might be the fix. Enjoy some Thrash metal and an entertaining show with great costumes and graphic onstage antics. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com
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MUSIC: Drive-By Truckers 1. Ghost to Most
STARS News
by: Tony Barone
“The Senior Sports Authority”
Stars Remain on Top of Division The Dallas Stars finished a tough week with a 1-0 loss to the Nashville Predators at the American Airlines Center. The shutout loss at home matches the total number of shutouts recorded at home all of last season. Preds Goalie Pekka Rinne made 30 saves for his 15th NHL shutout, and Cal O’Reilly scored the game’s only goal in the first minute of action. Dallas (5-2) had 22 goals in its first six games, the club’s best offensive start since netting 23 in the opening six games of the 1996-97 season. But the Stars couldn’t get the puck past Rinne in the opener of a season-high, six-game home stand. The Preds remain the NHL’s only unbeaten team. Earlier in the week the Stars went on the road and lost to the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-4 in the first road game largely due to the power play. The Stars were 0 for 5 on their opportunities, but could only kill one of the Lightning’s five chances. In the second game of the Florida swing the Stars managed a 4-1 victory against the Florida Panthers. Tom Wandell scored twice, Steve Ott had another goal, and Jamie Benn had three assists in the Stars victory. Benn had missed the previous three games due to concussion-like symptoms. While the Stars are off to a strong start, there are a few things they need to fix. At mid-week the Stars ranked last in the NHL in average shots per game (21.8), last in penalty kill success (60 percent) and next to last in shots against per game (38.0). That begs the question, is the Stars record deceiving? The Stars don’t like to think they are winning ugly. “We are doing some things well and some things not so well,” Stars coach Marc Crawford said. “So we need to fix the things we aren’t doing well and win more games.”
The Stars coaches had a couple of days to go over film during their Florida road trip and take a hard look at a few of their problems. “It’s a lot of little things that can be fixed, and if we fix them, then I think as a team we’re more confident and maybe we’re more comfortable doing the right things,” said Crawford. “It’s a matter of just being able to do the things we’re supposed to do over and over again.” Crawford used the penalty kill as an example. The team ranked 27th in the league last season and attempted to adopt a more aggressive strategy in training camp. Had they gone a little overboard in that department? “No, I don’t think we’re aggressive enough. I think we’re hesitating because it is a new way of doing things, and we’re still learning. But once we learn, and once we trust, we will be much better.” Stars leading scorer Brad Richards said the team has to find a way to get more shots to the net. “You’ve got to get shots on goal,” Richards said. “You can’t have four power plays with only two or three shots on them. It’s just not going to work. We have to play more simple, straightforward hockey.” Right now the team is getting excellent goaltending from Kari Lehtonen and consistent scoring from its top two lines. If they get results from working on the abovementioned areas of weakness, the wins will seem less ugly. “It’s still early,” said Lehtonen. “We just need to clean things up a bit, and I think we’re going to be fine.” That cleanup will be tested when Pacific Division rivals the Anaheim Ducks and the Los Angeles Kings invade the AAC this week.
Photo Courtesy: Joe Lorenzini
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6 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 7
by: Tony Barone – “The Senior Sports Authority”
TCU vs. UNLV Sat., Oct 30 – 10:00 PM – Sam Boyd Stadium – CBS-C HD Ed Wesley had a career-high 209 yards and two touchdowns, and the TCU defense stiffened after giving up its first October touchdown, leading the No. 4 Horned Frogs to a 38-7 victory over Air Force on Saturday night. The Frogs piled up 377 yards on the ground, and ended the game with 562 yards of total offense. Air Force (5-3, 3-2 Mountain West) scored on their first possession against a TCU defense that had allowed just three points in the previous three games. The Falcons didn’t do much more, though, while the Frogs (8-0, 4-0) just kept rolling. This week the Frogs travel to Sin City to take on the UNLV Running Rebels (1-6, 1-2) who will be coming off a bye week. Last year TCU shut out UNLV 41-0 in Fort Worth as Andy Dalton threw for 178 yards and three touchdowns and the TCU defense held the Rebels to a mere 160 yards of total offense. The Frogs are 7-1 all time vs. UNLV and will be looking to improve their BCS standing and prepare for what should be the last hurdle on their schedule against #8 ranked Utah on the road November 6. #4
by: Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”
SMU vs. Tulane Sat. Oct. 30 – 2:30PM – Superdome – The 33CW The Mustangs suffered back-to-back losses for the first time this season in a rain-delayed game against the Houston Cougars. The delay occurred with 6:42 left in the first quarter with Houston leading 7-0 and lasted 2 hours and 28 minutes. The rain and the 45-20 loss spoiled SMU’s Homecoming weekend. Padron ended up with 318 passing yards for the day, two TDs and two interceptions. RB Zach Line had 106 yards rushing on 19 carries and a TD, and WR Aldrick Robinson had five catches for 101 yards and a TD. This week the Mustangs (4-4, 3-1 C-USA) head to the “Big Easy” for a game with Tulane. The Green Wave beat UTEP 34-24 last week. Freshman QB Ryan Griffin appears to be more comfortable in the offense as he has thrown touchdown passes in his last three games. Albert Williams will be the featured back and almost had 100 yards on the ground last week. Junior WR Casey Robottom is clearly Griffin’s favorite target. He had two TDs and 151 yards receiving against UTEP. This is a game SMU needs to win if they are to go bowling this year.
Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce, Darryl Briggs, Joe Lorenzini
by: Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”
UNT vs. W. Kentucky Sat. Oct. 30 – 2PM – Smith Stadium The “Dodge Ball” era ended at UNT last Wednesday morning with the firing of head coach Todd Dodge, who had the lowest winning percentage in school history. This was Dodge’s “make or break” season to many, but there were too many injuries to overcome—worst of all, at the quarterback position. The team has resorted to starting fourthstringer Chase Baine. Next season UNT will open a new $78 million stadium and wants to be able to sell sponsorships and tickets for a winning program. Now UNT will have to push the whole “new season, new coach, new stadium, new era” program. In the interim, offensive coordinator Mike Canales will serve as coach. His first task is to win a road game against lowly Western Kentucky, also sporting a 1-6 record. But the Hilltoppers won their first game last week, busting out with a 54-21 performance against the Ragin’ Cajuns and ending the longest losing streak in college football at 26 consecutive losses. Sophomore QB Kawaun Jakes threw for a TD and a season high 262 yards.
GO RANGERS!!! World Series 2010: Rangers vs. Giants
Wed. October 27 – 6:57PM – AT&T Park – FOX The Texas Rangers are in the World Series for the first time ever as they take on the Giants. The Rangers will send Cliff Lee to the mound in this monumental game. It’ll be his second year in a row to pitch in a World Series opener. The Rangers have the bats and the confidence. The Giants send out Tim Lincecum who is a master in his own right and the team has to be comfortable playing at home.
College Football: (7) Missouri vs. (14) Nebraska
Sat. October 30 – 2:30PM – Memorial Stadium – ABC The Missouri Tigers are off to their best start ever. Their offensive line is impressive and so is the play of starting QB Blaine Gabbert. They disposed of the Sooners handily. A win here puts the Tigers in the driver’s seat for the Big 12 North—while Nebraska will come in looking to defend their pride.
NFL: Jaguars vs. Cowboys
Sun. October 31 – Noon – Cowboys Stadium – CBS It’s a rarity that the Cowboys play second fiddle to the other pro teams. With Romo out, Jon Kidna will have to step up bigtime. They need wins and will take them any way they can. They face the Jaguars, who aren’t playing well. On offense they rely on Maurice Jones-Drew to be the primary weapon. QB David Garrard (concussion) might not be back.
NFL: Texans vs. Colts
Mon. November 1 – 7:30PM – Lucas Oil Stadium – ESPN The Texans beat the Colts in their season opener 34-24. They are coming off their bye week and should be well rested and focused. Their only problem—the Colts are too. Indianapolis will be looking for payback. Peyton Manning will be at his best. Go-to tight end Dallas Clark is out for the season but the Colts have plenty of weapons and are still an elite team.
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Crossword Solution
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8 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010
by: Joe Avezzano “The Coach”
The minute you thought things couldn’t get any worse for the Cowboys; they found a way to surprise us again. When Romo hit the ground after being hit because of a missed assignment by rookie Chris Gronkowski the air came out of him and the air came out of the Cowboy season. Any realistic hope of achieving any pre-season goals went out the window. Jon Kitna will replace Romo and he will do a solid job as the veteran gets the practice time and full preparation for next week. But the season isn’t going anywhere and now it will be interesting to see how the team responds effort-wise as they go forward. Going into this game the worries were penalties, turnovers and the kicking game. The Cowboys managed to erase all these concerns and find new ways to lose. Penalties were not an issue, turnovers were plus three and the kicking game was excellent. When a team is plus three in turnovers, they win 91% of the time! Not the Cowboys! Why? When Romo was hurt the Cowboy defense played in a dejected frame of mind. I have never seen a team do what they want, when they want, as the Giants did in the second and third quarters. Total dominance. The defense gave up 300 yards passing as wideouts were wide open; there were two 100-yard receivers and a 100-yard rusher. This had nothing to do with Romo. It had everything to do with what last year was a stout defense and is nowhere near that now. And the personnel are essentially the same. There are so many things not up to par on this team—and every week something new pops up! Jon Kitna will basically be the only different starter to go on the field next week. He has had four 3,500-yard seasons and two 4,000-plus seasons. He will operate with enough success that when a very average Jacksonville team comes to town the Cowboys should have every chance to win. But it seems like we’ve thought that every week. You had better get over it fast guys, there’s NO MO ROMO! by: Jay Betsill “Man On the Inside”
Following their 41-35 loss to the New York Giants, the Dallas Cowboys (1-5) are off to their worst start since 1989. That was the year Jerry Jones bought the team, Jimmy Johnson took over and the Cowboys went 1-15. While that team was building a juggernaut for the future, this version of the Cowboys had visions of being the first team to play in a Super Bowl in their home stadium. Any fantasies of turning this season around came to an abrupt halt when Tony Romo was driven into the ground by blitzing Giants linebacker Michael Boley in the second quarter. Recovery time is generally 8 to 10 weeks, and by then there may not be any reason for Romo even to take the field. While the Cowboys’ playoff hopes are realistically over, one positive from this season is the play of rookie wide receiver Dez Bryant. But they do still have ten games left in the regular season that includes a short turnaround as the Jacksonville Jaguars come to Arlington for a noon start on Sunday. One of the most telling stats in the loss to New York was the once-vaunted Cowboys defense surrendering 497 yards of total offense to the Giants. The Jaguars defense was less-than-stellar in their loss to the Kansas City Chiefs, giving up 426 yards of total offense. “I am heavily invested with the defense and our defensive performance was embarrassing,” Jaguars head coach Jack Del Rio said. “Basic football plays are not getting made.” The Jaguars offense has its own series of issues. When they lost their top two quarterbacks—David Garrard and Trent Edwards—in their loss to the Titans, Jacksonville signed 38-year-old Todd Bouman off the street to be their signal-caller. They do still have weapons such as star running back Maurice Jones-Drew and receivers Mike Thomas and Marcedes Lewis at Bouman’s disposal. Should starter David Garrard show any effects from his concussion, Del Rio is confident in Bouman. “Todd played great,” Del Rio said, following last week’s game. ”He played above what we hoped and needed from him today.” Bouman was 18 of 34 for 222 yards with two interceptions and his first two regular-season touchdown passes since 2005 for the Jaguars (3-4).
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 9
Photos Courtesy: Infrogmation
“I think , therefore I write”
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by: Gilbert Moses
Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce and Yu-Ping Chen
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10 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 by: Jeff Putnam Editor
“Freelance Hubrist”
the werewolf deep responses as those of h suc ke evo s end leg w our darkFe res walk through some of and vampire. These creatu as film and television, invading well est myths, literature, as ey also apand yes, our fantasies. Th s, are htm nig s, am our dre Let’s look . ves ati es or holiday rel pear as Halloween costum closer… pacts, selling nuscripts tell of demonic Werewolves: Old ma n-walking or allow shape-shifting, ski anthropy. one’s soul to the devil to lyc as n ow kn -altering ion or ability is with the aid of local mind as an animal. This condit bly ssi po , nzy fre a o int f ing and sel wl him gro ng d, rki ma s, filthy, Picture a man wo ld animal. After a few day wi a from s he’ lf,” wo ing ere iev “w bel or , and substances, ly, a man-wolf cal cifi spe re mo or lf, -m wo a means “wolf an.” dangerous, he passes for from the Greek, and also es com e” rop nth yca “L the Old English word. m Werewolves are turned fro Same thing. er and wolfsbane, a plant. ir silv the e are iev es ach ess y akn all we usu s olf Werew olf. The beastie rew we r the ano of the e bit and e physical strength, speed, human to werewolf by the l moon. Advantages includ e not dying. ful a g rin du m for er nst mo they’r If you don’t have silver, ition of a ability to take a wuppin’. r for vampires, with the add ila sim are s end leg the pires h, vam ug e eno aus dly bec y Od inl s: Vampire end is different ma leg e pir vam e Th lves s. wo bat th ociated wi taste for human blood, and ve. Vampires are also ass ali r no d dea y tel ple com are undead—neither a common link. apitaolves—there seems to be light, holy water, and dec and large dogs, like werew kes e fire, wooden sta , sun era, lud cam inc on es n ess see akn be ’t we can ire Vamp sometimes and r, rro mi a in n e see tak be to t no the ability tion. Their reflection can es—strength, speed, and olv rew we s to ire r mp ila Va sim st. turn to mi either. Advantages are ut turning into a bat. Some til after their human tho wi or th wi , fly can pire status un damage. Some ht, and did not achieve vam way, legoperate by necessity at nig ’t die again. Without being destroyed in the right can y death. Being undead, the gh Bram Stoker’s novel end says they’re eternal. life in the late 1800s throu us since then. to e cam es pir vam of s The legend r, has been with la, in one form or anothe pires and ic notions regarding vam Dracula, and Count Dracu bas us en giv e hav s vel no lar , while werewolves Hollywood and popu be sophisticated urbanites er… to d ten es pir vam y, all werewolves. Gener really hate each oth pospersonality. Oh, and they a tie. The bite of one is sup st tend to be a little wilder in to a fight, we seem have mi In to es: n olv tur or rew We fly to vs. s lity ire Vamp ages, but the abi ant adv e hav s ire mp Va edly deadly to the other. ay. vies and TV shows feaonly helps them to get aw media presence, more mo or , ity lar pu O’s True po of ms ter In evision shows include HB tel t cen Re es. olv rew we ys of Night, but ture vampires than e Daybreakers and 30 Da lud inc s film ent rec and , d vampire movies. Blood series ent and soon-to-be-release e (2007). There rec of s ton are re the d, lat all tol 10) and Blood and Choco ut Vampires vs. Werewolves? Wolfman (20 abo s ise nch fra film g tin sea nd Twilight or are a few popular yet nau me om rec e t in good conscienc no can I t bu es, olv rew We n-eating, Underworld. I care which of these ma ll no. I If they did exist, would He er? oth the n in a fight with wi uld wo ers nst mo ng g stakes, findblood-sucki g silver bullets, sharpenin kin ma sy bu too y wa be would re for spear-guns, cet, visiting the scuba sto ng vampire and ing a priest to bless the fau n killing every blood-sucki rewolves? Feh. getting UV lamps, and the We d. Vampires vs. fin ld cou I olf rew we d flea-infeste vs. me. Vampires and werewolves
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 11 blitzweekly.com
by: H. Todd J. Moore
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 13
Wowza. Taking cues from the iPad, Apple has just reinvented the ultra-portable notebook with the MacBook Air 2. Sporting 64GB-256GB of built-in solid state flash storage, the new MBA boots amazingly fast, wakes instantly from sleep, and offers Nvidia graphics, Intel Core 2 Duo processors, and incredibly thin Unibody aluminum enclosures. Available in the traditional 13.3” model with an SD card slot and 1440 by 900 display, or in a new, smaller 11.6” model with a 1366 by 768 display and a weight of just 2.3 pounds, or a little less than the power brick for your current laptop. (Price $1,000$1,700.)
Heading into basketball season, are you nervous that your hops need some help? Well, as long as you’re not playing professionally, why not lace up a pair of Athletic Propulsion Labs Concept 1 Shoes? Dreamed up by a pair of former USC basketball players and banned by the NBA, the Concept 1’s feature a unique Load ‘N Launch spring-based propulsion system in the forefoot that makes you jump up to 3.5-inches higher instantly, or more than enough boost to shoot over the chumps at your weekly pickup game. (Price $300.)
Photos Courtesy: Seher Sikandar, Felicia C. Sullivan, Raffaele Fiorillo
Apparently America is the breakup capital of the planet, so I put together this guide to give us some help. Even if you are happily in love and engaged to be buried, dysfunction can creep in when you least expect it. It will probably be disguised as something serious and complicated, but keeping love alive is actually very simple. You’re sure to confront certain scenarios and you just need to be prepared to face them. Certain recent celebrity breakups might have something to teach us. The pairing of Ben Harper and Laura Dern was odd to begin with, but this breakup was not all that surprising. After all, their union was the product of other broken relationships. So take heed—if your own relationship came as a result of you stealing someone’s partner, or abandoning your supposed true love for a newer model, this could be your future. Reportedly, Billy Bob left his paramour to get with Laura, then promptly abandoned her for Angelina. Ben left his pregnant wife to get with Laura, and now that he’s bored with her as well, he’s trading her in for a newer, sleeker model. The lesson learned from this mess? Be happy with what you have; learn to appreciate your mate. Even if you do find a newer model to trade for, you’ll soon be tired of it as well. Now let’s take a look at the breakup of Courtney Cox and David Arquette this week. On the surface a happy couple, we now hear
from David himself that his wild and crazy antics began to annoy Courtney. He awkwardly revealed on Howard Stern that they hadn’t had sex in four months, yet he hooked up with some sleazy skank while they were separated. Clearly David has a bit of a maturity problem. Like Ben, he seems to require constant stimulation and becomes bored when he doesn’t get it. Though he’s attempting to salvage the relationship, Courtney is probably relieved to be rid of him. David was obviously the less powerful one in this celebrity partnering, needing to be validated by stepping out on his wife. Lesson learned: accept the power differentials that exist with your mate. No matter what position you find yourself in, treat your partner with respect, like an equal. Finally there’s the pairing of Jordan Bratman and Christina Aguilera that had a lot of us scratching our heads from the beginning. Why on earth would Christina get married to
by: Jesse Whitman
Relationship Survival Guide
“A Woman’s Perspective
this guy who, let’s be honest, resembled a human bratwurst with sauerkraut topped off with a giant mustache. Judging from recent videos, she was harboring some pentup sexual frustrations. And her alleged cheating on Jordan is what led to the divorce. Here the lesson is simple: meet your partner’s needs. What we don’t know, however, is whether Christina let Jordan know that her needs weren’t being met, giving him a chance to rectify the situation. What do all of these busted relationships have in common? A clear power differential, yes, but in each case, also, children were involved. Each couple had young children who will have to bear the burden of their parents’ mistakes for the rest of their lives. Children will not “save” a relationship, so for the love of god don’t have them unless you and your partner are on solid ground.
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Keep your game sharp during the off months with the Indoor Golf Trainer. Consisting of a 1 1/2” tubular aluminum frame and a hand-woven heavyweight nylon net, the Trainer sets up and dismantles in less than five minutes thanks to a push-button locking system, gently rolls hit balls back to you thanks to the unique curve of the net, keeps your floor in good shape with foam-backed nylon turf, and keeps things in place thanks to included sandbags. Also included are two side barriers, which will hopefully keep you from destroying your home’s interior with your nasty slice. (Price $800.)
MAVS News
The Mavericks are primed for another season where they legitimately have a chance to win a title. The window is closing for Dirk Nowitzki and Company. They are going to need for everyone to have a productive season—above all, Nowitzki himself and Jason Kidd who are going to have to be rocks of consistency for Dallas coach Rick Carlisle. In today’s NBA, where All-Star talents are joining forces like it’s an arms race, two superstars are hardly enough. Do the Mavs have another candidate on their $90-million roster with the ability to help push Dallas over the top? Kidd offered up two candidates: “Shawn (Marion) and Caron (Butler) are the two guys that I would circle,” he said. “We need them to have big years.” Kidd knows that they may not have the “third guy” but the two very talented forwards might have enough skill combined to make up for that last missing piece. Marion joined the Mavs last summer, while Butler arrived via a mid-season trade. There’s been plenty of speculation regarding which one starts this season (most likely Butler) but Kidd doesn’t think that’s an issue. “They’re going to be on the court together,” he said. “It just goes back to being comfortable. When you’re comfortable and understand each other’s tendencies, the game becomes that much easier.” Kidd knows that they both bring different aspects of the game. Caron can drive the baseline and hit jumpers whereas Marion can guard the opposing team’s best scorers and slash the lane. Together they will help fill some very big holes Dallas has had in their roster. The combination allows the Mavs to have very good versatility at the forward/guard position for nearly every minute of the game. “We can get physical with Marion and Butler at the 2 and 3,” Dirk Nowitzki said. “That’s about as physical as it gets at the wings.” The Mavericks have been labeled a soft “finesse” team in years past but in the last year they have added some players that make the squad very tough. Dallas may not have three legitimate headliners found on teams like Miami or Los Angeles or Boston, but the Mavericks are counting on strength in numbers. The bench may be the deepest in the league, consistently outscoring opposing benches during the preseason. In fact, it may prove to be one of the biggest strengths for the Mavericks squad. It’s led by a former Sixth Man of the Year in Jason Terry. Tyson Chandler, the backup center to Brendan Haywood, spent the summer winning a gold medal on Team USA. Shawn Marion could also be part of the second unit playing crucial minutes at the power forward position using his quickness to get easy buckets. Such a deep roster might allow the Mavs to save Jason Kidd’s and Dirk Nowitzki’s legs for the playoffs, so that they won’t have to rely on them to win every game. “Last year, we went eight or nine deep on a consistent basis,” Rick Carlisle said. “This year, we’ve got to make that nine or 10 deep. And when we get to that point, it’s going to alleviate some of the minutes on some of our guys that we had concerns about last year.” The Mavericks talk about shaving Dirk’s and Kidd’s minutes every preseason but this might be the first year that they actually have the firepower off the bench to accomplish it.
Photo Courtesy: Gregg Case
Strength in numbers
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14 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 15
Apr. 10, 1961 – President John F. Kennedy throws out first pitch in the Senators first game. The team loses 4-3 to the Chicago White Sox Sept. 20, 1971 – MLB approves Senators move to Texas (1972 season) by: Frank LaCosta
For Rangers fans it’s been a long, strange trip to this year’s Fall Classic. A season in which most fans would have been happy to just see the old boss (Tom Hicks) ousted has been more successful than ever imagined. The new owners, Chuck Greenberg and Nolan Ryan, have had their purchase rewarded by having the team win the AL West on September 25th, win their first postseason series on October 12th over the Rays, win the American League Championship Series over the Yankees, and now they are about to make their first World Series appearance. From the home-opener till now, the team acquired an ace in Cliff Lee, a clutch hitter in Bengie Molina and the successful conversion of bullpen arm C.J. Wilson to starter in the rotation. The team has gone through three first basemen (Chris Davis, Justin Smoak and Mitch Moreland). Vladimir Guerrero has had his moments of greatness. Their Opening Day starter Scott Feldman is now a distant memory as is Rich Harden. The Rangers are now four wins away from accomplishing more than anyone could have ever predicted. The team throughout the regular and postseason has had its hot and cold streaks. Yet as a group they’ve been able to dig deep when needed and produce. Manager Ron Washington seems to have found magic with his current lineup. Look for SS Elvis Andrus to continue to be the leadoff batter. He has a good eye and when on the basepaths is a threat to steal a bag. Michael Young will bat second and has had some clutch hits in the postseason. ALCS MVP Josh Hamilton bats third and as the Yankees found out can go yard on any pitch. The cleanup hitter will be Vladimir Guerrero, who finally found his stroke. Nelson Cruz will follow and is as dangerous a hitter as any in the game. Ian Kinsler will bat sixth and he too has the power to go deep as well as speed when on base. Batting seventh will be the platoon of Jeff Francoeur (who came over from the Mets) and David Murphy. Bengie Molina bats eighth followed by Mitch Moreland when at home. The dilemma is when playing in San Francisco. Who will sit? In all likelihood it will be DH Guerrero. If not, it’ll be one of the platoon outfielders. Cliff Lee, who was brought in for these types of games, will start Game 1. He has continued his postseason mastery and has nerves of steel. C.J. Wilson will start Game 2. Which Wilson will we get? The one who pitched well against the Rays and Game 1 of the ALCS against the Yankees or the Wilson who struggled in Game 5 of the ALCS? Game 3 starter will be Colby Lewis. Lewis closed out the ALCS and this will be his reward. Sunday’s Game 4 starter will be Tommy “Big Game” Hunter. He has been reliable at home this season and should keep the Rangers in the game. When it comes to the bullpen, Neftali Feliz is the closer. It is how Washington uses the remaining arms that baseball pundits will second-guess. Derek Holland is young but seems to have his act together. The grab bag of remaining pitchers is what will make or break the team. Darren O’Day is usually brought in to face a specific hitter for a needed out. Alexi Ogando, Clay Rapada and Darren Oliver have been inconsistent in the postseason.
“Baseball Fanatic”
The weak link of the Giants has been their hitters. That isn’t to say that they can be completely written off. They can manufacture runs and have some pop in their bats as well. CF Andres Torres is the table-setter. He hit 16 HRs, batted .268 and swiped 26 bases this year. He will be followed by Freddy Sanchez, who isn’t a real threat to steal a base or go deep. Aubrey Huff bats third and has power. He has 26 HRs this season. Hitting cleanup is Buster Posey. It’s his bat at the catcher position that sent Bengie Molina to the Rangers. He is followed by Pat Burrell who hits for power but isn’t having a great postseason so far. Batting sixth is NLCS MVP Cody Ross. Claimed off of waivers earlier this season he has been very productive this postseason. He hits for average, has power and can steal bases if asked. Clutch hitting 3B Juan Uribe bats seventh and can go long. He hit 24 HRs during the regular season. Veteran SS Edgar Renteria will bat eighth and primarily hits for average. He doesn’t have much power and only stole three bases this year. This is the strength of the team. The Giants are led by Tim Lincecum. As his nickname indicates, he is “The Franchise.” The Cy Young Award-winner has an arsenal which includes a two-seam fastball, a changeup, a potent curveball, a slider and a four-seam fastball that can reach the high-nineties. How he goes, so goes the team, it seems. Matt Cain will be the Game 2 starter. He doesn’t give up many runs or hits as evidenced by his regular season 3.14 ERA and 1.08 WHIP. “Big Sugar” will try to get the job done with his fastball (92-95mph), curveball, slider and changeup. The Game 3 starter will be Jonathan Sanchez, who has been erratic at best. The Giants Game 4 starter will be Madison Bumgarner, who’s young and apt to make rookie mistakes. He’ll try to dominate with his fastball. On to the bullpen, where their postseason relievers have all grown out their most intimidating man-beards. Brian Wilson is the closer and this year he notched 48 saves. He is a power pitcher and has a four-seam fastball that can reach 100mph. He’ll back this up with his cut fastball and slider to fool batters. Sergio Romo and Jeremy Affeldt are likely setup men. Look for Barry Zito to fill in as a long reliever. This bullpen is a consistent group and a big reason the team is in the World Series.
Nov. 23, 1971 – The Washington Senators are renamed the Texas Rangers. Apr. 15, 1972 – The Rangers lose first game to California Angels 1-0 Sept. 30, 1972 – Ted Williams retires as Rangers manager Oct. 2, 1974 – Rangers finish season 84-76 for their first winning season Jun 22, 1977 – After 1 game as mgr (10-8 win over Twins) Eddie Stanky quits Jul. 23, 1985 – Oddibe McDowell is first Ranger ever to hit for the cycle Mar. 18, 1989 – G.W. Bush and E. W. Rose buy controlling interest in team Aug. 22, 1989 – Nolan Ryan strikes out A’s Rickey Henderson to become first pitcher in MLB history to record 5,000 strikeouts May 1, 1991 – Nolan Ryan becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a no-hitter (his 7th) Oct. 3, 1993 – Royals over Rangers 4-1 in last game at Arlington Stadium Apr. 11, 1994 – Rangers lose to the Brewers 4-3 in the first regular season game at the new Ballpark in Arlington Jul. 28, 1994 – Kenny Rogers becomes the first Ranger to pitch a perfect game by defeating the Angels 4-0 Jul. 11, 1995 – Rangers host 66th All-Star Game in Arlington ballpark Sept. 15, 1996 – A franchise first: Nolan Ryan’s number 34 is retired Oct. 1, 1996 – In 1st postseason game, Rangers beat Yanks 6-2 in the Bronx Oct. 4, 1996 – 1st postseason home game lost to Yanks 3-2 before 50,860 Jun. 12, 1997 – First regular season MLB Interleague matchup ends with Giants defeating Rangers 4-3 Jun. 30, 1997 – Bobby Witt becomes 1st Ranger pitcher ever to hit a homer Jan. 7, 1998 – Tom Hicks agrees to acquire the Rangers for $250 million Jan. 5, 1999 – Nolan Ryan becomes the first Ranger Hall-of-Famer Dec. 11, 2000 – Alex Rodriguez signs a 10-year, $252 million contract Feb. 16, 2004 – Alex Rodriguez traded to Yanks for Alfonso Soriano Jul. 13, 2004 – Alfonso Soriano is named MVP of the All-Star Game
Pitching – Giants Hitting – Rangers Fielding – Giants Base Running – Rangers This is a true strength versus strength matchup. The Giants have better starting pitchers, field the ball better and seem to have the bullpen advantage. The Rangers are the better offensive team. They find ways to get hits, to get on base, to manufacture runs and come through in the clutch. Can Josh Hamilton and Michael Young will this team to success? Will the old adage about good pitching be changed to “good hitting beats good pitching?” We will all find out come Wednesday, October 27th at 6:57 p.m.
Jul. 11, 2006 – Michael Young is named MVP of the All-Star Game Nov. 6, 2006 – Ron Washington is named manager Aug 22, 2007 – 30-3 defeat of Orioles sets several MLB records Feb. 6, 2008 – Nolan Ryan named club president Jun. 16, 2010 – Michael Young becomes Rangers All-Time Hits Leader Jul. 9, 2010 – Rangers acquire Cliff Lee Aug. 12, 2010 – Chuck Greenberg, Nolan Ryan buy team from Tom Hicks Oct. 12, 2010 – Rangers defeat Rays to win their first playoff series Oct. 22, 2010 – Rangers defeat Yankees to advance to World Series
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Important Moments in Texas Rangers History Oct. 26, 1960 – The Senators are born (again). American League awards expansion franchise to Washington D.C.
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16 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010
by: Tony Barone
J.R.’s Grill
Offers an Upscale Sports Bar Johnny Ragland is better known as the “J.R.” in J.R.’s Steakhouse in Colleyville, which he opened a few years ago. This grill is just south of his flagship steakhouse and it is also worthy of the name “J.R’s.” Johnny is venturing back into the sports bar game having sold the popular Gator’s sports bar in Euless when he opened J.R.’s Steakhouse. Located on Texas 121 in Colleyville, J.R.’s Grill shares some characteristics with its older brother. The atmosphere is upscale, yet balanced by the down-to-earth people who go there. It is dark and handsomely appointed with comfortable booths. The granite table-tops and soft leather seats add to the decor. The dining room is divided into sections that enhance privacy. One half of the restaurant is a bar with a separate, glassed area that houses two pool tables and a golden tee game. The walls are covered with flat-screen TVs but they are not overwhelming, making it feel less like a sports bar and more like a casual restaurant, which can come in handy for guys looking to impress a date and keep an eye on the latest in the sports world. Outside, the patio is comfortable and includes a luxurious outdoor fireplace which allows for great outdoor dining if that suits your mood. Wait, you wanted to hear about the food? J.R.’s has a great selection of burgers, ten to be exact. Some are oneof-a-kind, such as the Hamburguesa Asada with ancho barbeque sauce and two enchiladas. Top of the line is the Prime Time Filet, made from ground filet mignon and topped with caviar and Boursin cheese. Speaking of prime rib, it is everywhere on the menu. You can order it as an entrée, in a 12- or 18-ounce version; in a French dip sandwich or as
JR’s Grill
5220 HWY 121 • Colleyville • 76034 817-571-1414 • www.jrsgrill.net the “Mount Blissful”—a version of the Monte Cristo—or even as an appetizer in the prime rib tacos, two to an order. The smoked chicken wings at J.R.’s Grill are definitely a cut above. They come in servings of six, twelve, or twenty four, and are plump and juicy. They seem to have a little more meat on the bone than usual. The smoking added a fine jolt of flavor, and the skin is nice and crispy. The chicken-fried steak is hand-dipped, boasting a large piece of meat with a golden crust covered with creamy white gravy speckled with cracked black pepper. There is also a parmesan fried chicken which consists of a boneless chicken breast pounded thin like a cutlet and then pan-fried. On top of the parmesan is a jalapeno-infused honey with bits of candied jalapeño, a great fusion of sweet and hot. The sides are all delicious, the best being the fried onion rings and smashed potatoes made with red-jacket potatoes. The specialty drink menu offered a nice variety and the bartender was eager to please, based on the amount of alcohol in the drinks. The beer menu selection seemed a little outdated with no premium beers on tap. But the wine was better, presented in nice stemware with some unexpected selections, such as a single serving split of a sparkling wine. Excellent service elevated the dining experience at J.R.’s Grill. Our server was friendly and responsive, fielding unusual requests with ease. The general manager came by and brought a second serving of onion rings in what seemed like seconds instead of minutes. If you are looking for an upscale sports grill that does not smell of smoke, and you can be comfortable dressing up or down, this is the place.
HORRORSCOPES
Zombie Edition
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
The inequality afforded you and your undead brethren has been a sticking point for many months. This week there will be a breakthrough as the first zombie union is formed.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) This week you will brood. Your partner’s been denying you the warmth of her passions and your preferred meal of brains. If only you were alive so you could kill yourself!
FUNNIES
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Too much running after lively prey over the past few days has you feeling a bit sore. Your nerves have been worn thin, having lost most of the flesh around them.
Q: What did the hillbilly do on Halloween? A: Pump kin…
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Q: What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? A: See you next month! Q: Why don’t witches wear panties? A: So they can get a better grip on their broom. Twick or Tweat! One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes. She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, “What are you supposed to say sweetheart?” The little girl looks up at the woman and says “Twick or Tweat!” The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman says to the child, “Go ahead honey say it just one more time.” Once again the little Angel looks up and says, “Twick or Tweat!” The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl’s Treat Bag. The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, “Thanks a lot, lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!”
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JOKES
Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 17
Uninvited undead guests will bombard you. Beware of inviting strangers into your home. Keep a shotgun handy and bar the doors until the crisis passes with the new moon. ACROSS: 1. A celebrity 5. Refinable rock 8. Urban haze 12. Go backpacking 13. German submarine 15. Protagonist 16. Colored part of an eye 17. Bing, bang or boom 18. Biblical garden 19. Notwithstanding 22. Female deer 23. Floral necklace 24. Blue-green 26. Roof of the mouth 29. Lace place 31. Representative (abbrev.) 32. Throw out 34. Kind of spray 36. “Smallest particle” 38. Long-necked bird 40. Gown 41. Cheekbone 43. Fragrant wood 45. Trendy 46. Migratory grasshoppers 48. Found at the end of a pencil 50. Heredity carrier
51. Edge 52. 180° from NNW 54. Unprompted 61. Compassion 63. Lifeless 64. As well 65. Operatic solo 66. Any habitation at a high altitude 67. Whirl 68. Set of playing cards 69. Standard operating procedure 70. Achy DOWN: 1. Tibia 2. Novice 3. Similar 4. Sell again 5. Double-reed woodwind 6. Agitate 7. Lack of difficulty 8. Third person pronoun female 9. Interfering 10. Chocolate cookie 11. Departed 13. Unfasten 14. Cantankerous
20. Earl Grey and orange pekoe 21. Witnessed 25. Winged 26. Flower feature 27. Self-deprecating 28. Construct 29. Part of a lyric poem 30. Small drum 31. Male sheep 33. Metric unit of area 35. Directed from the front 37. Ceremonial staff 39. Relate 42. Rows of unraveled stitches 44. Precipitation 47. Old photo color 49. Sullies 52. First World War plane 53. Give rise to 55. 1 1 1 1 56. A Roman emperor 57. Journey 58. Margarine 59. ___-friendly 60. Only 62. Chatter
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Weather cold, eat more brains.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20) It is easy to become distracted by the concept of undead fish this week as you gaze into the glow of a neighbor’s fish-tank. On Tuesday you begin devising ways to pass a pathogen…
Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19) Your success in creating a plague of the undead on earth has garnered acclaim in the scientific community. Still, the increasing lack of warm-blooded companions will dampen your spirits on Friday.
Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20) Your stubborn determination to transform your offspring into zombies has led to an interesting situation with a loved one. This week’s success in devouring them will boost your spirits.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 21) Excessive consumption of brains over the week will result in indigestion. Thankfully you will find no shortage of friends willing to cut you open and scoop out the offending nourishment.
Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22) The fetid smells that are emanating from homes in the neighborhood leave you ill this week.The chance that they will be disguised by fragrance has you wearing nose-plugs.
Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22) It has been harder than expected to build your army of undead soldiers. Many recruits tear each other apart during infantry training or cannot follow orders. Army of one?
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) This week you will spend long hours with a disinfectant toothbrush, hazardous waste disposal barrels, and a Hazmat suit clearing a path for your car between home and work.
Photos Courtesy: Mike Wilshin
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18 Oct. 27 - Nov. 2, 2010 by: Pat Moran “Man on His Throne”
HALLOWEEN When I was a kid, there was nothing more amazing than Halloween. It was the one night a year that the normally uptight and pissy adults would go out of their way to give away free candy. Normally, the old people would do whatever they could to keep the kids from having a good time... No playing in their yard, no yelling... No fun. But Halloween changed everything. Suddenly, the entire neighborhood was in on the joke, going out of their way to make going trick or treating as exciting as possible. Nothing compared to the feeling of getting a full sized candy bar, right? It was an amazing steal and would absolutely rank as the best house of the night. At the same time though, there was nothing worse than those a$$holes who would give out gum, pencils, religious pamphlets or raisins. I mean, how much of a jerk do you have to be to give a kid a pencil on Halloween? If you ask me, those people are some of the worst people on the planet. So now that we are all grown up, we have a responsibility to not be a douche on Halloween. If you are one of those people who hand out Bible verses or even a sack full of Tootsie Rolls, you deserve to get your house tee-peed, tagged and vandalized as much as possible. Hell, why not just do it yourself! If someone gives your kid a sack of raisins on October 31, I say you let them know what you think of them, preferably with a carton of eggs. The child-version of you would be proud.
Twice As Nice at The Lodge!
Entertainer Paige and Door Hostess Angela both are featured in national magazines this month. Paige graces three Playboy “Special Editions”–Hot Housewives, Vixens and Lingerie–while Angela is the cover girl and centerfold in EasyRiders, a popular motorcycle magazine. “We’re proud of all of our women here, but it’s pretty amazing that two people from The Lodge are being featured in national magazines at the same time,” said Dawn Rizos, owner and CEO of The Lodge. “We’re really thrilled for them.” The Lodge bought several hundred magazines and turned the signing party into a fundraiser for the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Magazines, autographs and snacks were on the house, but fans’ tips went to the great cause of breast cancer research.