Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

VOL. 3 - ISSUE 10

“Zombies” invade NYC during morning rush-hour BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile/Movie Review Music: Insane In The Brain Stars News TCU/SMU/UNT Preview Cowboys Preview Lesson Learned: Coaching Is Important COVER STORY: AAA Texas 500 Race Interview With Jimmie Johnson Catching Up With Eddie Gossage AAA Texas 500 Preview BLITZ BABE: Stacy Blitz Toys Mavs News Big 12 Basketball Preview Auto: 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: Moving

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PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jeff Putnam CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Matt Pearce Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Yu-Ping Chen, Manny Flores, David Goodspeed, Kevin Jacobson, Juliane Krug, Joe Lorenzini, Joe Mabel, Tuomas Vitikainen, Peetah2 STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joe Avezzano, Jay Betsill, B.W. Cameron, D. Devil, David Goodspeed, Andrew J. Hewett, Mark Miller, H. Todd J. Moore, Corey Poche CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029

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Photos Courtesy: Joe Mabel

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “I love coming here. I love racing here…It’s a tough track. Anything can happen.” -- Jimmie Johnson

As if the morning commute wasn’t odd enough, intrepid New Yorkers trying to make their way to work last Tuesday had to battle past hordes of the walking dead. Two dozen zombies, their clothes spattered with fake blood, were staggering up and down the block outside Madison Square Garden. Downtown, others shuffled across the Brooklyn Bridge. Some pedestrians looked startled or amused by the ghost-white actors with bruised-looking eyes. Some people ignored them entirely. Others whipped out their cell phone cameras. Horror movie fan Linda Emery was thrilled to see the creatures. “I’m into zombies, anything with zombies,” said the 58-year-old home care provider from Brooklyn. It made a change from her usual commute. “You see a lot of stuff, but not this stuff,” she said. Erik Machado, an audio engineer heading to work in New Jersey, was unfazed and passed by the scene with nary a glance at the ambulant corpses. “Gotta commute, gotta go where I gotta go,” the Queens resident said. The stunt was part of a campaign in 26 cities worldwide promoting the Halloween premiere of the AMC television series The Walking Dead. The show is being broadcast outside of the United States on Fox International Channels.

Man likely shot himself while sleepwalking

Police said a Boulder man who told police he woke up to a “bang” and realized he had suffered a gunshot wound to his knee likely shot himself while sleepwalking. The Daily Camera reported that 63-yearold Sanford Rothman told investigators he

Andrew J. Hewett

www.chewednews.com

QUESTION: WHAT BANDAGE COLORS MATCH PINK UNDIES?

At one point, about 15 zombies crawled onto the roof, hood and trunk of a parked, off-duty taxi. Taxi driver David Pollack managed to escape from the horde, scrambling out of the back seat, playing along with the drama of it all. “I think I’ll walk over the George Washington Bridge to Jersey. Hopefully they haven’t gotten there yet,” he said. “I’m a tough New Yorker, but I don’t mess with zombies.” had no clear recollection of the incident early last Tuesday morning. No one else was in Rothman’s home at the time. Boulder Police Sgt. Paul Reichenback said that Rothman keeps a 9 mm handgun near his bed and takes prescription medication for pain. Police said no alcohol or illegal drugs played a role in the incident. Rothman was treated at a hospital and released.

October 1, 2010 news reports from Phoenix, Arizona, told of Clayton Thornburg’s attempt to escape a local jail. The extremely agile 24-year-old had scaled five 15-foot fences, all rimmed with razor wire. To his chagrin, not only was he immediately recaptured, but clearing those sharp hurdles had left him with many cuts, and also naked, stripped of his jail uniform and pink underwear. (Yep, prisoners in Phoenix are issued pink drawers.)

WORTH THINKING ABOUT

(1) “Some people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.”—statesman Benjamin Franklin (2) “People who regard themselves as highly efficacious act, think, and feel differently from those who perceive themselves as inefficacious. They produce their own future, rather than simply foretelling it.”—philosopher Albert Bandura (3) “Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as you can.”— Methodism founder John Wesley

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Naomi Watts

by Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

You play a real person who had a job portraying one of the most overly sensationalized “characters” in movies. What was it like playing an actual CIA spy and what did you find most surprising? We learned about her story at the time it took place, but getting into the nitty-gritty of it and seeing how she handled a family on a day to day basis [was fascinating]. You think of spies as [handling] all these gadgets and slick groovy cool moments jumping out of busses and setting something on fire, and it’s unreal, but this is obviously rooted in truth. So just seeing the ordinariness of her life juxtaposed with her leaving the household and going off to strange places without her family knowing about it [was quite fascinating]. What did you have to do to prepare for the role? At the time we filmed this, I had a threemonth-old baby; so it wasn’t the best timing, but the window was there, and this was a rare opportunity to play a role like this. I was in a very maternal state; so Doug (director Doug Liman) said they had to toughen me up, and I had to go to CIA boot camp. I was like, “Oh really! Do I have to?” But, I knew it would be a great experience, and this is something that Valerie went through for at least two years of her life, and I just had three days. So, what does one do at CIA boot camp? We did things like car ramming at full speed without helmets and seat belts, a lot

of shooting, a lot of setting off explosives and running for cover. Some things I can’t even talk about because it was so dangerous, but again it was to get us into the mindset of what she went through–certainly in her training and possibly out there in the field. How does this film, with its authentic take on the world of secret agents and spies compare to some of the ones that are more glamorized and Hollywood? To the untrained eye the film looks very authentic. Do you feel that? There is a fine line between making a documentary and making an engaging story and trying to be true to what the facts were but also making it entertaining and emotional. Being so familiar with her story now, what would you say was the most difficult part of that ordeal for Ms. Wilson? All the conflict that took place between Valerie and her husband in their own home and in their relationship. This is a person who spent her life in private and living with secrets from her own friends and family, and then to be forced out into this public arena going against every instinct in her being, it was a shocking adjustment. She felt betrayed by her husband, but he was doing the right thing, and she knew he had to do it, but it was hard for her to get on board. Once she realized this was the right and only thing to do, it becomes like an act of love. Fair Game opens nationwide this week. The film is rated PG-13 for some language.

by H. Todd J. Moore “Freelance Hubrist”

Paranormal Activity II The sequel to the low-budget box-office phenomenon Paranormal Activity, directed by Tod Williams, was released October 22 for this year’s Halloween season. With a slightly larger budget than its predecessor ($2.75 million as opposed to $11 thousand), it had the opportunity to truly frighten me. It didn’t. The loud scary parts worked, when in fact they did, because the rest of the film was so unendurably tedious. The family in the film includes Dan Rey (Brian Boland), his daughter Ali, his second Katie, and the arrival home of a newborn baby boy, sweet little Hunter. Turns out he is the first boy on the wife’s side of the family for several generations, and, guess what? Great-grandma had made a deal. You know the kind. So something shows up for Hunter, announcing its arrival by tossing the place, and only stealing Mom’s amulet of protection. The video camera, with which we begin the film, has optional Infrared night vision. After the upset, Dad installs security cameras, which in turn provide most of the footage for the movie. Text overlay tells us the time and date, and also let’s us know this is mostly a prequel. At first there is some protection in the home. The Latina nanny/housekeeper also knows some basic witchcraft, Santeria, or some hodgepodge thereof, with which she keeps the family protected until Hunter is about 18 months old. Dad fires her for smudging the place. Subsequent shock attempts rise in frequency.

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Sister gets spooked by a pot falling from the kitchen rack. Twice. Cupboards – all of them – simultaneously slam open. The pool’s robovac crawls out of the pool every night. The dog growls at the door to the basement. The teen goth daughter likes ghosts, so she and her boyfriend talk to the entity with a Ouija board. It tells them it wants Hunter, who later slides over the top of his crib, walks about, and opens the basement door. Endgame starts with the dog, Dad, and Sis leaving for the veterinarian. While they’re gone, Mom gets dragged down the stairs and into the basement. That’s kind of fun. She stays down there a nice long time. When Dad and Sis return and review the security footage, Dad calls the Nanny. She shows up and presents a plan, which strongly links the two films. The final minutes are almost worth the price of admission. I can’t totally write the movie off as a loss. The acting is passable, and the suspense does build. It’s just that it seems like forever for something actually to happen, and when it does, it feels like we have been here before, and we’ve been waiting too long. Shocks and jumps are not horror. Horror is not merely the use of deep base rumbling and booming footsteps. Horror builds, draws you in, makes you feel like it is alive and present. The filmmakers made a valiant attempt, but Paranormal Activity 2 didn’t do that for me, although the attempt may work for you. And that’s O.K.

1) Syd Barrett – His diet of double-dipped LSD sugar cubes helped give him a nervous breakdown. He left Pink Floyd in 1968 only to return in 1975 unannounced to watch the band recording the song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” in studio. Overweight and with a shaved head and eyebrows, no one in the band recognized him. He was trying to brush his teeth by holding the toothbrush still and jumping up and down in the studio. Roger Waters asked Syd what he thought of the song. Syd replied, “sounds a bit old” and walked out of the studio. That would be the last time any member of Pink Floyd would see him.

Photos Courtesy: Peetah2, Tuomas Vitikainen

2) Brian Wilson – The Beach Boys lead singer prepared for their upcoming album Smile by packing two grand worth of hash, along with LSD and prescription amphetamines. He started hearing voices and feeling suicidal. He was soon hospitalized. His new diet consisted of pills, cigarettes and steak. Brian ballooned to 300 pounds. He became terrified of water and stopped bathing. He spent the next three years in bed convinced that Phil Spector was going to going to shoot him. After a show once, he met some youngsters backstage and introduced himself as Brian. “We know,” one replied. “We’re your children.” 3) Britney Spears – Her craziness scared her handlers with Jell-O shots and table dancing to breakdowns on TV. From there she moved on to some “panty-free moments” caught on film. Britney reached the height of notoriety by marrying Jason Alexander for 55 hours and shaving her head bald. Best quote by Britney: “I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.” 4) Jaz Coleman – Killing Joke lead singer headed to Iceland in 1982 fearing the apocalypse but ended up working with the Sugarcubes before returning to England. In the past Coleman conducted interviews in his own made-up language. The best part is when he taped a journalist’s mouth shut for asking silly questions.

5) Jim Gordon – His initial claim to fame was that of a session drummer who co-wrote “Layla” with Eric Clapton. The voices in his head only allowed him to eat one spoonful of food per meal. He cracked his second wife’s ribs for bringing evil spirits into the house. It gets better… in 1993 Gordon killed his mother by hitting her with a hammer and stabbing her. 6) G.G. Allin – Born Jesus Christ Allin, the man was an American punk rock singer/songwriter. His fun-filled shows consisted of nudity, defecation, mutilation and audience abuse. It’s said that at one show he attempted to have sex with a dead cat. Allin was disappointed when he tested negative for HIV and promised to commit suicide on stage one day. Instead he overdosed on heroin in 1993. 7) John Frusciante – This Red Hot Chili Peppers guitar prodigy left the band in 1992 because the voices in his head were telling him to take heroin and cocaine. He did this religiously for the next six years while living in the Hollywood Hills and losing his teeth. 8) Iggy Pop – Mr. James Osterberg is the “Godfather” of punk. Little known fact, Iggy once lived on German sausages for an entire year. Best quote: “I’d sometimes wake up with bumps on my head, blood on my shirt and something green coming out of my penis.” 9) Jim Morrison – To open the doors of perception, Jim liked to guzzle alcohol and consume as much LSD as he could or whatever other drugs were readily available. His craziest moment involves an apparent marriage to Patricia Kennealy in which they participated in a Celtic Pagan ceremony. Part of the ceremony included drinking each other’s blood. 10) Roky Erickson - The founder of one of the first American psychedelic bands, the Thirteenth Floor Elevators. He was busted for possession of six joints in 1969. Erickson pled insanity rather than serve jail time and was placed in the Rusk State Hospital for the Criminally Insane in Austin. He signed an affidavit in 1982 declaring that a Martian had taken over his body. In the late ’90s, he lived in a federally subsidized house in Texas with radios and TVs on at all times to drown out the voices.

Britney Spears – In the Zone

4. Requiem

Killing Joke – Killing Joke

5. Layla

Derek and the Dominoes

6. Insane in the Brain

Cypress Hill – Black Sunday

7. Give It Away

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Blood Sugar Sex Magik

8. I Wanna Be Your Dog

The Stooges – The Stooges

9. Not to Touch the Earth

The Doors – Waiting for the Sun

10. May the Circle Remain Unbroken

13th Floor Elevators – Bull of the Woods

Thur 11/4

With all of the craziness of the Cowboys season and the World Series, I thought it would be interesting to look at those who have gone off the deep end in the world of music. Some of these musicians are certifiably mental, others just pushed the envelope a little too far. Here’s my Top 10 list:

The Beach Boys – Smiley Smile

3. Toxic

Tom Orr’s Ghost Stories Marty Walker Gallery – Dallas Appreciate the finer things in life by taking in this exhibit on a date. Tom Orr uses industrial materials such as metal, mirrors, wood, etc., while experimenting with lines, texture and form.

Fri 11/5

Scott McCurry & The Mercenaries Renfield’s Corner – Dallas Scott and the band have been featured in the Blitz Weekly a few times. We wholeheartedly give them our stamp of approval. Why spend a Wednesday night at home doing nothing when you can rock out with some great funk jams!

Deerhunter Granada Theater - Dallas Our very own Tennessee Chris really likes this band out of Atlanta. They’re on tour promoting Halcyon Digest. Check them out because Tennessee Chris wants you to.

Sat 11/6

2. Good Vibrations

Wed 11/3

8th Annual WineFest Cavanaugh Flight Museum – Addison This will be an intimate wine and food tasting event in a new and different setting. Definitely Maybe will be performing and there is a silent auction. Tickets at the door are $40. For more info: www.winefest500.com

Sun 11/7

“Music Habitue”

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here

The Breath of Death Teatro Dallas – Dallas Go to a play that will push your mind – Japanese style. The theme of the play is death amongst the living based on Japanese folk stories from Ghostly Japan by Lafcadio Hearn.

Mon 11/8

by Frank LaCosta

You Could Say That Webb Gallery – Waxahachie A little publication called Newsweek commissioned artist Ike Morgan to paint George W. Bush. He’s also painted Barack Obama. Ike has a sense of humor. So take a road trip and enjoy some contemporary art.

Tue 11/9

MUSIC: Insane in the Brain 1. Shine On You Crazy Diamond

Movie Talk The Magnolia Theater – Dallas We know you like movies of all types. Hangout with other film fans at the Magnolia Bar and discuss the latest and greatest. Try not to order a PBR while here or discuss your porn collection. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com

STARS News

by Tony Barone

“The Senior Sports Authority”

Stars Facing a Home Ice Crisis The Dallas Stars owned one of the NHL’s most prolific offenses with 22 goals in its first six games – the team’s fastest start since the Stars scored 23 times in six games to open the 1996-97 season. Last week they opened a six-game home stand and the scoring promptly dried up during the first three games in losses to Nashville 1-0, followed by back to back 52 losses to division foes Anaheim and Los Angeles. During that three-game stretch the Stars out-shot their opponents 99-74 while being outscored 11-4. Their four goals included two power play goals and two even strength goals, both from the 4th line. After the Los Angeles defeat Coach Mark Crawford had this to say about his team not being able to score the last few games: “They have to be prepared to win the game 1-0. You don’t give away easy chances like we did. We were well in control and we got back to 1-1 in the game and when you are in control you don’t give up odd-man rushes. You don’t try to overextend a shift you’re 60 seconds into to try to get another offensive opportunity. You give the other team life. That’s how you get beat. Teams that end up being playoff teams, which we are going to be, they don’t beat themselves. We beat ourselves tonight. It’s disappointing because we did it the last game and I didn’t have to come in here and rant and rave the last game because I thought we had learned the lesson. But we didn’t. We have to learn the lesson.” Presumably, those comments were targeted at Captain Brenden Morrow who had a key turnover in the game, leading to one of LA’s goals. The Stars snapped the three-game home losing streak with a 4-0 win over the Buffalo Sabres. Backup Goalie Andrew Ray Raycroft stopped 34 shots for his first shutout as a Star and the eighth of his career. Official attendance at the Stars first six home games are averaging just fewer than 14,000. The actual attendance has been much less. There have been estimates as low as 5,000 for games which were played at the same time as the Texas Rangers post-season contests. These are the types of numbers never seen before in Dallas when it comes to the Stars and their attendance at home. The Stars are winning, yet they’ll have to win

consistently and make a serious run at the playoffs for fans to start flocking back to the AAC. The Stars have 12 points through 10 games this season. At that rate they would end the season with about 96 points, which is normally good enough to make the playoffs. The financial woes of the team and Tom Hicks’ continuing problems are also hurting the Stars ability to market the team. The buzz around this Stars team in Dallas is near nonexistent so it’s no wonder the Stars are having trouble with attendance. The obvious solution for the Stars is to just win, baby. If they continue to win consistently the Stars will start to build that ravenous fan base back up again. It’s early in the season, and the Stars are competing with a significant amount of outside forces for the fan’s attention. The Stars enjoyed a tremendous amount of success in Dallas after moving from Minnesota in the early 1990s and were perhaps the only southernbased NHL team that appeared to have found a truly sustainable hockey market. If the Stars begin to really make noise and are still near the top of the conference later in the season, then you know the fans will start showing up.

Crossword Solution by Tony Barone – “The Senior Sports Authority”

TCU vs. #6Utah

Sat. Nov. 6 - 2:30PM – Rice-Eccles Stadium – CBS-C Andy Dalton threw for 252 yards and two touchdowns, Jeremy Kerley scored running and receiving, and TCU dominated defensively again to defeat the UNLV Running Rebels 48-6 and remain undefeated. Two years ago, TCU won easily at UNLV and set up a showdown at Utah the following Thursday which they lost 13-10. This year TCU (9-0, 5-0 Mountain West), with a No. 4 BCS ranking and hopes of playing in the National Championship on the line, heads into a huge matchup with BCS No. 5 Utah (8-0, 5-0) this Saturday, having allowed 16 points in the last five games. “The difference is we don’t have to play them on a Thursday night,” said TCU coach Gary Patterson. “We got home late. We’re going to stay all night tonight, so we can get more rest and eat better. And then we’re going to play on Saturday. It’s a day game, and it is the first time we’re going to play in Salt Lake City in the daytime, not in the night-time.”

by Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”

SMU vs. UTEP Sat. Nov. 6 – 8:05PM – Sun Bowl – Time Warner Sports The Big Easy wasn’t so easy for the Mustangs last Saturday for the first three quarters. SMU found themselves down 17-3 against Tulane with 2:24 left in the third. However SMU put up 28 unanswered points to close the game. With the 31-17 victory, SMU (5-4, 4-1 C-USA) is one win away from becoming bowl eligible and remains in the hunt for a conference title. Zach Line had a monster performance rushing for 177 yards on 23 carries with a pair of TDs. QB Kyle Padron had 354 yards through the air and a TD with a rushing TD as well. WR Aldrick Robinson hauled in five receptions for 182 yards and a TD while WR Cole Beasley caught nine passes for 135 yards. This Saturday the Mustangs take on the UTEP Miners. UTEP has lost three in a row. They can put up points if they can get their passing game going. Trevor Vittatoe is their signal caller. The senior already has 15 TDs through the air but isn’t a threat on the ground. They leave that to RBs Joseph Banyard and Donald Buckram.

Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce, Steven Leija, Joe Lorenzini

by Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”

Troy vs. UNT Sat. Nov. 6 – 6PM – Fouts Field New Head Coach Mike Canales had a successful debut as the Mean Green defeated the Hilltoppers 33-6. The game was 10-3 at half in favor of UNT. The Hilltoppers would kick a field goal in the fourth quarter to trim the UNT lead to 16-6. From there UNT went to work by adding a field goal and two TDs. Riley Dodge completed 11 passes for 89 yards and no TDs. Junior RB Lance Dunbar was the entire offense on Saturday, amassing 215 yards on 30 rushes with three TDs. The defense only gave up only two field goals in the contest. UNT (2-6, 2-3 Sun Belt) is still bowl eligible if they win out. This week UNT hosts the “Men of Troy” in a must-win game. The Trojans are not a defensive powerhouse and have given up double-digit points in every game this season. On offense their QB is freshman Corey Robinson. He cannot run but does possess a strong arm. His favorite target is senior WR Jerrel Jernigan. Look for RB Shawn Southward to tote the rock.

NHL: Penguins vs. Stars

Wed. Nov. 3 – 7:30PM – American Airlines Center – FSSW The Penguins and Sid “The Kid” come to the AAC for their only appearance. It’s been a couple of years since their last visit and hockey fans will be into this game. Pittsburg had lost three in a row before getting back on track last Saturday. The same can be said of the Stars. How will Lehtonen perform? Can the Stars keep pace?

College Football: (22) Baylor vs. (19)Oklahoma St.

Sat. Nov. 6 – 11:30AM – Boone Pickens Stadium – FSN This might be a first…the Baylor Bears are in a three-way tie atop of the Big 12 South. They’ve secured a bowl appearance and have won seven games so far. QB Robert Griffin III is something special. The Oklahoma State Cowboys can put up points in a hurry. This game could be a shootout!

NFL: Cowboys vs. Packers

Sun. Nov. 7 – 7:20PM – Lambeau Field – NBC Though not mathematically eliminated from postseason contention the Cowboys need to circle the wagons and pull it together. Jon Kitna possesses a lot of competitiveness and desire. The defense needs to step up their efforts. The Packers are still in the hunt and are looking for another win.

NBA: Celtics vs Mavericks

Mon. Nov. 8 – 7:30PM – American Airlines Center – FSSW The Celtics come to town and while the season is young it is their only appearance in Dallas. Check out the aging trio of Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. Rajon Rondo can be exciting if he gets things going. Plus there are the two O’Neals- – Jermaine and Shaq. We’ll see how the Mavs match up against one of the elite teams from the East.

by Joe Avezzano “The Coach”

Frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, disgusted, clueless—those are just the kind things being said. Blame is being tossed at Jerry, Wade, Jason, Tony, Jenkins, Barber, Williams. Every kind of negative is being dumped over this team as a whole and in the next two months the Cowboys will be getting loads of free advice. Like everyone else, I thought the Cowboys would beat a very mediocre Jacksonville Jaguar team. I felt Jon Kitna would be efficient and that if the Dallas defense played well the offense could score enough to win the game. What happened? The defense is non-existent now, giving up another 100-yard rushing performance to Maurice Jones-Drew, over a 100-yard receiving game to Simms-Walker and allowed four TD passes from QB Garrard. In only three games this year in the NFL have the QBs thrown four TD passes—and two have been against the Cowboys. Kitna threw for 379 yards but many were hollow as he also threw four interceptions. Three were tipped by his own receivers which makes it even more frustrating. The game was tight until just before the half when the Cowboys couldn’t get it in the end zone from the 1-yard line on two tries and went to the locker-room down 14-3. Game over. The Cowboys cannot run the ball as the offensive line is struggling, they cannot stop the run and don’t defend against the pass very well. None of it sounds good but it’s worse to hear Wade Phillips after the game. He is beaten down, taking full responsibility for the failures and says he has no idea right now what to do. Now the really tough time starts. It’s not going to Green Bay and playing Sunday night for the whole country to see. It is getting to that point in one piece. To hold the team together, a large dose of character will need to emerge from the troops, and that is hard. As it gets tougher there will be more grumbling, more frustration and a barrage of criticism from the fans and media. Some will be deserved and a lot won’t be but a cloud of frustration will blanket all of it. Winning is easy. It’s when it gets ugly that fans, media and players all raise their heads to be counted. It’s going to be a long two months. by Jay Betsill “Man On the Inside”

After watching the Dallas Cowboys (1-6) fall to the Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4) by the score of 35-17, one big question came up. How did they ever win one game? For the second time in six days, the Cowboys were humiliated at the $1.2 billion Cowboys Stadium. And the final score is deceiving as the Cowboys managed two late touchdowns when they were trailing 28-3 to make it appear a tad more respectable. Quarterback Jon Kitna, filling in for the injured Tony Romo, had 379 passing yards, but threw four interceptions. Running backs Felix Jones and Marion Barber combined for 38 yards. The once-vaunted Cowboys defense has gone from allowing 15.6 points per game last season to 26.7. They didn’t allow a 100-yard runner all of last season and have done so four times in five games. Missing from last year’s unit are Bobby Carpenter and Ken Hamlin, both of whom were cut by their new teams after leaving the Cowboys. Jaguars’ quarterback David Garrard was 17 of 21 for 260 yards and five touchdowns (including one rushing TD). Garrard’s rating was 157.8 (perfect is 158.3), the highest ever by a QB against the Cowboys. According to Garrard, “we quickened the pace and gassed them a little bit.” “I’m distraught, to say the least,” said Wade Phillips (architect of the Dallas defense). “I’ve got talented players and I’m not getting them to play well enough.” The Cowboys have had their first four-game losing streak since 2002. They’re also 0-4 at home this season, so perhaps it is a good thing they are heading up to Lambeau Field to battle the Green Bay Packers (5-3), who are coming off a 9-0 win against the Jets. Aaron Rodgers and the Packers offense did just enough to win and the Packers defense stopped the Jets on three fourthdown attempts. Rodgers will hope to see the same looks that Garrard and the Jags got in Dallas. Packers star cornerback Charles Woodson will most likely add to his total of 47 career interceptions. This game has the feeling of November 23, 1997, when the Packers buried the Cowboys dynasty 45-17. Things may get ugly this weekend during a game that will be on in prime time for NBC’s Sunday Night Football.

Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce

Essentially we are halfway through the NFL season, and if you’re a fan you have noticed that nothing seems to be going the way you thought it would. The Cowboys, 49ers and Chargers came out this season with huge hopes and Super Bowl dreams only to fall flat on their faces. In fact, Tony Romo going down could be the best thing for the Cowboys this year because they can start working towards next year. Let’s look at teams like the Chiefs, Falcons, Buccaneers and Seahawks. Before the season started people were pushing them under the rug. They were your freebee games to go with the Lions, Bills and Raiders. Teams that you looked at as extra “bye weeks” because you should be able to just steamroll over them, but that has not been the case this year. And why? Coaching! Let’s look at what happened last year with the Saints. This was a team that people did not see going to the Super Bowl. But that team, staff and city really started to believe in the coaching. After getting off to a good start, fans watched the games and thought to themselves that the team would fall short and start losing again. It didn’t happen until they faced the Cowboys, and by then it was too late. The team was sold. They knew that they could win. They knew they were better than the rest and they knew if they listened to their coaches and kept playing their game they could be the champs. Look at those same Saints now. After losses to the Browns, Falcons and Cards and wins over the 49ers, Panthers and Vikings, they are broken, beaten down and have

just lost the belief that they can do it again. The team does not buy into the coaching or themselves anymore. You can see this by D.Devil “The Evil Word” everywhere. Since taking over in Dallas, Wade Phillips has slowly lost the team. The Cowboys were thought by many to be the NFC team to beat this year. However, after such a poor start, and now with the loss of Romo, their season is all but done, putting the nails in Phillips’ coffin. This could be a good thing, since rumor has it that Jerry Jones would like to bring in Titans Head Coach Jeff Fisher, who is a “Players Coach” who gets the most out of his team each week. He is a good coach to have around when players start to get overwhelmed by off-the-field issues. Look at how he was able to save Vince Young’s career. Coaching is much more important than people give it credit for being. You can have an all-star team but without the leadership, you will only be as good as your coaching lets you believe you are. The Cowboys, 49ers, and Chargers are living proof of that this year. To further illustrate my point, let’s look at Tom Cable and the Raiders. The Raiders have been the laughingstock of the NFL since their Super Bowl loss in 2003. Over the last few weeks we have seen the Raiders beat the Chargers and destroy the Broncos, putting them second in the AFC West standings behind the Chiefs. Tom Cable has been coaching for the Raiders since 2007, but didn’t become the head coach until 2008. It was a coaching job that no one wanted. Tom Cable took the job and every week he has been fighting to win over the team, to show them they are just as good as the rest of the league. He looks like a prime candidate for Coach of the Year if the Raiders can

keep doing what they’ve been doing. All the team has to keep doing is buying into the belief he has in them, that they are as good if not better than the rest of the league. Coaching is important! Just look at Tony Dungy. As great as Peyton Manning is, since Dungy left the Colts, they have not been the same. That is why they lost the Super Bowl last year. Once things started looking bad, the team began to fold, and even the great Peyton Manning could not carry them to a win on the biggest stage. The greatest proof that coaching can lead a team to great things is New England’s Bill Belichick. You could give him the Southlake Dragons and by the end of the week, they would think they could beat the Dallas Cowboys. Belichick has always been able to get more out of his players. Take Deion Branch, for example. He is a Super Bowl MVP who left to join the Seahawks only to be forgotten until he came back to the Patriots. In one week he had a breakout game with nine catches, 98 yards, and a touchdown in their week-six win over the Ravens. You play the game on the field but the wins and losses all start with the calls, leadership and command that a coaching staff can bring to the table. So it doesn’t matter if it is Rex Ryan, Bill Belichick, Tom Cable, or Todd Haley. It all starts with coaches who can instill in a team a belief in itself and in what a coaching staff can do for them. The Cowboys, Vikings and Chargers are learning that the hard way this year. Yet teams like the Chiefs, Redskins, Raiders and Buccaneers look to move forward. They keep fighting and believing in their coaching staff. Maybe one of them can do what the Saints did last year and show the world you don’t have to be the best; you just have to believe that you’re better than the man in front of you. This is the message that Andy Reid, Jeff Fisher, Tom Coughlin, Mike Tomlin, and others have been delivering for years.

10 by Tony Barone

Blitz Weekly caught up with NASCAR driver Jimmie Johnson during a recent visit to Texas Motor Speedway. Johnson has a six-point lead over Denny Hamlin in his quest for a 5th straight Sprint Cup Series Championship, the closest lead in the history of the Chase through six races. One of the four remaining Chase races is the Texas 500 which will run at TMS on November 7th. Here’s what Johnson had to say during a very candid interview. There’s been lots of talk about changing the Chase rules. Do you feel like NASCAR is looking at you when they are discussing those changes? I hear about it and it’s flattering to hear the term “Jimmie Proof the Chase” but as far as making changes to the tracks used for the Chase I really don’t care. I am ready for any and all of them. From a big picture perspective we need to make sure we’re in the right markets and getting the right fans in the stands to

grow our sport. Do you feel you have the upper hand in this year’s Chase because you have won four in a row? I feel like I do. But running well gives you the most leverage and the way we’ve performed in the last few races speaks more than anything. That sends a message and says we’re here and we’re ready to play and it’s time. You wrecked and finished 38th in last year’s Texas 500 and lost almost 100 points of your lead. Do you view this year’s Chase race at TMS as a wild card for you? The risk is there on any track and the faster the speeds the more damage to the race car when you have a problem. Here it’s a pretty fast mile and if you spin out you are going to hit something and do damage. One thing you have that other drivers may not have is your long relationship with Crew Chief Chad Knaus. Talk about that relationship. I feel fortunate that we have been able to stay to-

What is your opinion of the NASCAR policy of “letting boys be boys” this season?

I think it’s worked well all year. These differences have always existed. At some point NASCAR tried so hard to keep them quiet, that in my opinion these feuds—I can’t think of a better word—these feuds that had always existed weren’t being addressed, and that’s not good. When you bottle up those emotions, when they do come out, it really is bad. These feuds have always existed. It’s just that now you’re hearing about it.

This will be Danica Patrick’s first time here in a Nationwide car. What do you think she is missing to be successful in that series?

She isn’t missing anything but seat time. She’s a very talented driver and she’s proven that in Indy car racing. She’s won and she’s in her second year in Junior League cars, but it’s difficult sometimes to make that transition from one to the other. The Indy car and stock car are very unlike each other. One’s front engine, one’s rear engine, one has high downforce, one doesn’t, one is heavy, one is light. So it takes different styles and techniques. In the long run, if she doesn’t make that transition successfully, her driving shouldn’t be criticized; it’s just that her skill set didn’t match up with those cars. But I’m excited about seeing Danica here on Saturday for the O’Reilly Auto Parts Challenge. She knows this racetrack, having driven a bunch of Indy car races here. She should do well.

This year Willie Nelson is performing at the AAA Texas 500. How’d you make that happen?

We’ve been chasing Willie for a long time, trying to get him to play here for one of our pre-race shows. Back in March, Willie called and said, “I’ll be there in November. Do you still want us?” And I said, “Yeah. Let’s do this.” So this is giving us the chance to get a legend, a household name. I’ve seen Willie a hundred times, but I want to see him 101! So it’s gonna be great. We were excited that after all these years

“The Senior Sports Authority”

gether this long. The fact that we’ve had a lot of trying moments and been able to man up and work through those moments and talk it out has made us stronger as we’ve come through those rough spots. When the team sees us unified it helps build a very consistent team and is part of the reason we’ve done so well. Do you feel your domination of the sport has hurt anything such as attendance or TV ratings? When you look at dominant teams in the past such as the Lakers or Yankees there are fans that don’t like it while it’s happening but later on they look back and see how amazing it was. So when my time is past I think people will look back and say the same thing. A perfect example of this in NASCAR is Jeff Gordon. When I first got started everyone was booing him because he was always winning and now he is cheered wherever he goes. I think attendance is being hurt more by things such as the cost of travel to the events. I know it’s not me.

we were able to hook up together and have a good time.

If you don’t mind, can you tell us a little about the No Limits Campaign?

You bet. No Limits is about an attitude. About, when you come here, there are no limits to the kind of fun you’re going to have, to the energy that comes and what not. When you get 200,000 people together there’s a lot of energy here, a lot of excitement, and there’s just no limit to all the experiences that you can have. We’ve got the Great American Sweethearts, three ladies who represent the speedway, and you’ll see them around. Becky, Brittany and Stephanie—great ladies and they’re very smart. The fans are gonna love ’em. Season ticket sales for the No Limits Campaign are up 50 percent, in part because we’ve reduced the price of season tickets for 2011. You’re gonna get a free No Limits garage party the day of each NASCAR race and a bunch of other perqs, so it’s just the best thing goin’ if you’re a race fan of any kind.

Tell us the best part about being President of Texas Motor Speedway?

It depends on the day. No two days are ever alike. I’ve been doing this for 31 years in NASCAR cup series racing and I guess the best thing is seeing us continue to grow, and be successful, and get so big, because when I started I was at the Nashville Speedway and I couldn’t sell out a 14,000 seat speedway. Today we’re drawing 200,000 people to cup races here. So it has evolved and gotten a lot more sophisticated. I grew up poor and I could tell you about trying to get into racetracks and ballgames and stuff like that without ever buying a ticket because I did it for years as a kid. And I understand that people have to save their money and sacrifice or what not to be here, so I always enjoy talking to them. It really is the best thing, and hearing their stories… I remember this race, I remember that time. To me that’s fun. To know that we’re really, truly, creating experiences for these folks and that they really are enjoying themselves.

Photos Courtesy: Darryl Briggs, Matt Pearce, Kent Gilley

11 by B.W. Cameron

A sorely missed demographic was absent from TMS NASCAR ticket sales: the male fan twenty- something to early thirty-something. What can fuel that testosterone flame and get these boys back to the track? Texas Motor Speedway President Eddie Gossage, looking for ticket selling ideas, developed a new marketing campaign driven by “hot cars and hot chicks.” The resulting “No Limits” campaign, which was launched in August with a $500,000 Goo Goo Dolls concert at the House of Blues, features MMA-style lettering, an edgier Texas Motor Speedway logo, flashy hot rods with flame paint schemes

and scantily clad women known as “The Great American Sweethearts.” The new faces of the speedway, the Great American Sweethearts— Stephanie, Becky and Brittany— will be wearing boots and race uniform crop tops. Gossage expects a “No Limits” Garage Party at the AAA Texas 500 Sprint Cup race on November 7th to trigger new sales. The speedway will turn the Nationwide Series garage into an entertainment bonanza complete with a giant pool that will host wakeboarding demonstrations! “We want people to see it and say, ‘Why can’t I go in there?” Gossage said. “You just have to buy season tickets. We want them to want the forbidden fruit.” Problem is: all this costs money. Getting these “bros” away from the schwag, Keystone Light, Four Loko, and the beer pong table—or to get them to leave their parentfinanced, efficiency apart-

ments—will require more than amped-up Hooters girls. NASCAR ticket sales and associated revenues have been threatened in other ways. Has NASCAR been getting strong TV promotion for the playoffs? Is the deluge of commercial blocks aggravating NASCAR fans? Did the Indianapolis tire debacle in the summer of 2008 turn off too many fans? Was NASCAR’s car-of-tomorrow, which debuted full-time for the 2008 season—amid considerable driver resistance and controversy—an additional turn-off? And what about Jimmie Johnson’s amazing championship run—2006, 2007, 2008, 2009—and the four Chase victories which put him in the lead?

Then there’s Danica...

Indy Car Series star Danica Patrick makes another NASCAR Nationwide Series appearance with JR Motorsports (first TMS appearance) at Texas Motor Speedway on November 6th for the O’Reilly Auto Parts Challenge. No other driver in NASCAR history gets as much publicity as Patrick does for finishing three laps down. Has Danica ever finished a NASCAR race on the lead lap? She is the Milka Duno of NASCAR.

Race Highlights

The final month of the season continues this week, as the Chase for the NASCAR Sprint Cup hits 1.5-mile Texas Motor Speedway for the second time this season. A total of 400,000 race fans are expected at the fourday event that begins Thursday. Texas is one of many strong tracks for Jimmie Johnson, who has top-two finishes, including a November 2007 win, in five of the last seven races. Johnson’s seventhplace finish in last Sunday’s Amp Energy

“The Racing Reporter”

Juice 500, coupled with a ninth-place run by Denny Hamlin and a runner-up finish by Kevin Harvick means Johnson’s points lead is now 14 over Hamlin and 38 over Harvick. It’s the tightest three-way points race at this juncture of the season since the Chase format was adopted in 2004.

The Fort Worth trip will be a test for Kevin Harvick, whose Number 29 Chevrolet has three top-fives in fifteen starts at Texas and one in the last four years. Kevin Harvick has never won at Texas, but has finished in the top 10 in three of the last four races. A few weeks ago, 19-year old Trevor Bayne had just been canned by Michael Waltrip Racing, and his future in NASCAR was up in the air. It was announced last Wednesday that Bayne, now a development driver for Rousch Fenway Racing, will make his NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Debut at TMS this weekend, driving the #21 Motorcraft Ford owned by the Wood Brothers. So much for Bill Elliott, who has been put to pasture. Denny Hamlin is the one to watch this weekend. At Texas, Hamlin has the top career finishing average. His average finish at TMS is 9.6. He has four top-five and seven top-10 finishes in 10 starts. He has won seven races this year, the most in NASCAR. He is rising to the occasion and actually races harder under pressure. Hamlin’s first victory of the season was in April, where he won the Samsung 500 here at TMS. Less than two weeks before the race at TMS, Hamlin had surgery on his left knee. Since then, he has been a dominant force on the Sprint Cup circuit.

If you’re in the market for a tablet but need a more business-oriented box than the iPad, check out the HP Slate 500. Powered by Windows 7 Professional and a 1.86GHz Intel Atom processor, the Slate features an 8.9-inch touchscreen, an active digitizer for pen support, 2GB of RAM, a 64GB SSD, an HD accelerator for video playback, front- and rear-facing cameras—of the VGA and 3 megapixel variety—and an included dock with HDMI output. In other words, it means business. (Price $800)

Bored with traditional skateboarding or just looking for something new? The Free Rider SkateCycle should fit the bill. This unique machine features front and rear wheels with openings and platforms in the center onto which your feet go. The wheels are joined together by a crossbar that lets riders move their feet from in to out and back again for propulsion. There aren’t a ton of tricks developed for them yet, but there’s no reason you can’t try. (Price $150) The people that flip our hamburgers, clean up our messes, wipe the crumbs and dishes off the table, take our orders, sew our clothes—we rarely give them a thought, even though their service is virtually essential for maintaining our comfortable modern lives. These workers are scraping by on minimum wage and probably living paycheck to paycheck. Of course,

ter them, and doing the grunt work they would never want to do. So they treat them poorly to keep them in their place, which is at the bottom of the workforce food chain. We should do the opposite. These people are feeding us, cleaning up our messes, and doing other jobs that are necessary for our luxurious lifestyles. This should not be taken for granted, especially since these workers are spending a big chunk of their lives doing a service for us and for very little money. They could be aspiring brain surgeons who couldn’t afford med school, so you should appreciate their showing up to mow your grass and blow leaves off the lawn. Waitstaff may smile and act friendly when they’re bringing our food, but as soon as they retreat to the kitchen or behind the counter, you never know what kind of demeaning, humiliating abuse they are putting up with from hard-nosed managers. So listen up all you demanding customers and cold-hearted bosses. It’s time to start treating service workers with dignity and respect. Many people start at the bottom and each one of them has a shot at the top. There’s no reason the journey there has to be unpleasant. We all have to take similar paths, so be kind to everyone, regardless of where they may be on their ride. You never know what kind of day someone might be having. Their dog may have just died for all you know, and the last thing they need is someone barking at them impatiently. Just because your day isn’t going great doesn’t mean the servers, house cleaners, hamburger flippers, etc., should have to take the brunt of your frustrations. So the next time you get service with a smile, practice random acts of kindness and smile back.

Servicewith a Smile it is their choice to serve in these entry-level jobs, but that doesn’t mean they should be treated poorly by customers and managers. Looking back, all of my worst experiences in life were at low-paying service jobs, whether instigated by customers or bosses. I’m sure you can also conjure up some bad memories of hauling garbage out of a restaurant or having a boss micro-managing your work every minute, waiting to scold you the second you’re not looking busy. But why do people at these kinds of jobs get treated so badly by society? I blame the Protestant work ethic, which is built on the idea that work should not be fun. It should be tiresome, stressful, and cause unhappiness. In fact, if you are happy and having fun then you’re not really working. That can be the only way managers at grocery stores can have their cashiers standing up all day without feeling bad about it. There really isn’t any logical reason why cashiers should have to stand all day. They could do their jobs just as well sitting in a chair, but instead the worker must suffer and have aching feet and varicose veins. Some customers like to feel above the lowly workers serving their food, cleaning up af-

Start your mornings with gusto—sorry, couldn’t resist—with the Krups Dolce Gusto Circolo. This museum-worthy single-serve beverage machine serves up coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and specialty drinks in a hurry and without fuss, thanks to a 15-bar pump pressure system, a 32-ounce removable water tank, a magnetic capsule holder, and LED lighting to keep you from crashing your cup into the side of the machine in those early morning hours. Available in raging red or way-more-likely-to-match-yourkitchen titanium. (Price $150)

MAVS News First Impressions Kidd’s Play The Mavericks started the season last week and in only three games reminded us why they were bounced in the first round. They live and die on the playmaking ability of a 37-year-old point guard. That’s not a shot at Jason Kidd by any means. He does so many things to help the Mavs win every night and they need every bit of it, especially with the number of close games they play. The 18 assists he dished out in the opener were the best first-night total in his long and illustrious career and also marked the most in team history on opening night, besting Steve Nash’s 13 in 2002. The Mavericks are a good team when Kidd is on the court being the facilitator but it’s alarming how much the Mavericks struggle offensively when he’s not on the court. If they don’t get fast break points and Dirk isn’t hitting shots they will go through long cold spells. It’s a problem that has resurfaced from last season. Perhaps more important than the number of assists Kidd tallied were the minutes he played. He averaged about two fewer minutes per game this season after averaging 36.0 minutes last year. It’s a Catch-22 because the Mavs want to keep Kidd’s minutes down and have him fresh for the playoffs but they are going to need every minute

by Geoff Case “NBA Analyst”

they can squeeze out of him before Roddy Beaubois comes back from injury to help with the scoring load. Center of Attention Is there a controversy brewing at center? The rotation so far suggests potential for turmoil after Tyson Chandler was picked to start over Brendan Haywood despite a promise to the latter made by Rick Carlisle at Haywood’s home when free agency opened. In all fairness the first-time promise was made in respect to the roster at the time. The only other center in Dallas when Haywood signed his six-year deal for $54 million was Erick Dampier. Things quickly changed with the arrival of Chandler who was Team USA’s starting center at the FIBA World Championship. The Mavs acquired Chandler in a deal with Charlotte that included Dampier. The two players have without a doubt been one of the strengths of the team and if they keep winning it shouldn’t be an issue. The edge went to Chandler for his ability to run the floor and play above the rim, two attributes tailor-made for Jason Kidd. The two big men took turns starting in the preseason before Carlisle went with Chandler in the opener. He also started the second game Friday against Memphis. “They’re both top-10 centers in the league,” Carlisle said. “I don’t think there’s any question about that, so you can flip a coin.”

Upcoming Schedule: 11/3 @ Denver Nuggets - 8PM 11/6 vs Denver Nuggets - 8PM 11/8 vs Boston Celtics - 7:30PM 11/10 @ Memphis Grizzlies -7PM

by Corey Poche

www.TexasSportsPro.com

With the basketball preview magazines starting to hit the shelves (yes, I already have mine), college basketball is right around the corner. Last year, the Big 12 sent 7 of their 12 to the Big Dance and two of them made it to the Elite 8 (Baylor and Kansas State). With the conference re-alignment happenings this summer, this is the last year with a full 12-team conference, losing Nebraska and Colorado. That’s looking too much into the future, so let’s see what’s in store this year (* = returning starters):

by Mark Miller

“The Dallasite from the North”

Photo Courtesy: dfwcre8tive2009

2011 JEEP GRAND CHEROKEE by David Goodspeed

North Texas Nuances If you’ve read my previous articles for Blitz Weekly, you know I have only lived in Texas for two years after moving from Wisconsin. I hope it’s obvious my family and I love it here. When I was laid off my public relations job in February and friends asked us if we’d be moving back North, we quickly said “No, we’ll be staying right where we are.” As I’ve had more time to drive around the Metroplex, I’ve learned what’s located where and how long it takes to get there. I’ve also discovered a number of nuances that I find quite interesting. For example, why does every strip mall seem to have a donut shop, nail salon and dry cleaners? Are there that many people here who have an urge for fried dough with sugar, or need manicures and pedicures while they’re having their laundry drycleaned? I read somewhere that DFW has more retail stores than anywhere else in the country. I believe it. It seems awfully hard to find a bagel store. In Wisconsin, they’re as popular as donut shops here. I was happy an Einstein’s recently moved into our town. So many homes built with brick and all without basements are foreign to us. So too are nearby gas stations with huge price differences. What’s with the all the highway frontage roads? And why do so many trucks seem to have broken turn signals? Whether they are

making right or left turns or changing lanes, these lights rarely seem to work. There are as many good nuances as unusual ones. I really like the way, when a new subdivision starts, they build the roads first, then the houses, businesses and other buildings. And they plan well for future expansion by building roads with large medians that can turn into additional lanes if the population grows. I’ve enjoyed the great chicken fried steak and barbeque brisket. And whether you like sports, music, art, museums or just about any other cultural thing, there are multitudes of places where you can pursue your interest. Of course that’s what happens when you live in a place with 6.5 million people. It’s also great you can go outdoor-swimming from April into October. Some of my former Texas co-workers who spent time with me in Milwaukee said the Mexican restaurants were far superior here but it was hard to find a good independent pizza joint. They were right about the former and wrong on the latter, as we’ve discovered some good pizza places. Now if you think I’m alone on these thoughts, think again. While recently waiting for my wife to get settled in a hospital room, I met people originally from Minnesota, Michigan, Iowa and Illinois. When I mentioned the quirks I had discovered they all laughed and nodded their heads. They knew what I was talking about. It must be a Midwest thing.

“A Heavy Foot & High Opinion”

“So — what’s good?” Oh, don’t I wish I had a nickel for every time I am asked this question about new cars. And “good” can mean so many things to so many folks. A quick check over at thesaurus.com gave me some 250-plus ways to describe “good.” I would also add the 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. It’s good—darned good. I guess good minds think alike in Detroit these days as both Jeep and Ford are delivering completely new vehicles carrying each automaker’s iconic SUV moniker. Ford is readying a new Explorer later this fall and Jeep has released its latest Grand Cherokee. Both models are all-new from the ground up and each has chosen to forego the traditional body-on-frame architecture for a unibody platform. We have yet to spend time behind the wheel of the next Explorer but this week we took delivery of a Grand Cherokee rolling in new sunbelt-state two-wheel-drive. Yes, a 2WD Jeep. And it’s good. The 2011 model features four-wheel independent suspension on a platform designed while Jeep (Chrysler) was still part of Daimler, and this new architecture is shared with the next-gen ML SUV from Mercedes. You can get it for half the price and feel like you are riding in the latest German luxury ute. And with the optional engine upgrade you get to say, “This thing’s got a HEMI!” The 2011 Grand Cherokee is the first of Chrysler’s corporate offspring to offer its new 3.6-liter V-6 Pentastar motor that achieves 290 horsepower in this application as the base engine. Both engines are backed by five-speed automatic gearboxes. The Pentastar motor offers up to 23 mpg on the highway while the multi-displacement 5.7-liter V-8 HEMI achieves up to 20 and can tow up to 7,400 pounds. Three four-wheel-drive model Grand Cherokees are available for 2011 with a new Selec-Terrain feature added to the more capable two systems. A new QuadraLift air suspension is also debuting that will raise the JGC to a max ride height of 10.7 inches. These new features are one reason some magazines have already dubbed the 2011 JGC “America’s Range Rover” and I would have to agree with that assessment. The improvements in styling and ability are just stunning and almost unbelievable. The ’11 is so completely different from the previous generation—which itself was no slob—that it almost defies comparison. Jeep has chosen to stay with fivepassenger seating while most competitors offer a third row of seating of some sort. This is a decision I applaud. The second row has been made more comfortable and spacious while a new dual-row panoramic sunroof overhead will allow all occupants to enjoy the view. So what’s good? The 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Darned good. And you don’t have to take my word for it, there are a number of dates left on the “Jeep Rocks & Road Tour” crisscrossing the nation. Check out www.jeep.com/rocksandroadtour. com to find a date and the location nearest you.

Photos Courtesy: David Goodspeed

JOKES

HORRORSCOPES

FUNNIES

Q: What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette? A: Brown-bagging it.

Q: How do you know you’re getting old? A: Your wife gives up sex for Lent and you don’t find out until Easter. Q: Why don’t they have any WalMarts in Afghanistan? A: Because there’s a target on every corner. The Wine Connoisseur A guy tries to impress his date with his knowledge of wine. He tells the wine steward to bring a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet Sauvignon from the Carneros district. After tasting it, the young man berates the sommelier. “This is a 1992 vintage from the Diamond Creek vineyard in the Mayacamas Range. Please bring me what I ordered.” Watching from the bar, an old drunk comes up to the table with a glass in his hand and says, “Can you tell me what this is?” Winking at his date, the young man sips from the drunk’s glass. “Christ, this tastes like piss!” he exclaims, spitting it out. “Yeah,” says the drunk, “but what year?”

ACROSS: 1. Capture 5. Cousin of a mandolin 9. Foot lever 14. Earnings 15. Purposes 16. Without company 17. Brainstorm 18. A source of seepage 19. Tart citrus fruit 20. A wide hallway in a building 22. Catkin 23. Come in 24. Chip away at 26. A southern constellation 29. Lime tree 33. Immaculate 38. The whole thing 39. Erratum 40. Pier 42. Affirm 43. Ring of color around the nipple 45. Without agony 47. Tenant 48. African antelope 49. God of the underworld (Greek mythology)

52. Challenges 57. Mantelpiece 60. Trio 63. Inn 64. 60 minutes 65. Wild goat 66. Bad treatment 67. Goddess of discord (Greek mythology) 68. Eat 69. Damp 70. Apartment payment 71. Concludes DOWN: 1. Not just once 2. A radioactive gas 3. Spy 4. _____ and quiet 5. Doozy 6. ___-friendly 7. Razz 8. Glacial ridge 9. Someone who fights for a cause (archaic) 10. Primary 11. A hemispherical roof 12. Any minute 13. The period preceeding

Easter 21. Verbal 25. Any unsaturated aliphatic hydrocarbon 27. A recompense 28. Residue from a fire 30. Plunge 31. God of love 32. Current event information 33. The Sun, for example 34. Wood heaped for burning a dead body 35. Not closed 36. Edentate 37. Deplete 41. Tattered cloth 44. Pamphlet 46. Naked 50. Aromatic solvent 51. Beach 53. Comment to the audience 54. Batman’s sidekick 55. Alter 56. Genders 57. Fraud 58. Vagabond 59. Decorative case 61. Destroy 62. Formerly (archaic)

by Pat Moran

Photos Courtesy: Juliane Krug

“Man on His Throne”

There aren’t many things more stressful than moving. Granted, it’s a bit of a champagne problem, but it’s one of the worst, nonetheless. I was lucky enough to get to move this weekend and it furthered my assumption that it’s a terrible thing to do. There is something about having to take everything you own, put it in boxes and then cart it across town to unpack it. You realize how much crap you own and how little of it you actually need or want. It’s exhausting. The boxes of books that weigh a hundred pounds. The stacks of old papers that have been cluttering your desk for months. Old pictures that have never been put into an album. Shirts you haven’t worn in years.

You have to pick through every little thing that you’ve been fortunate not to deal with, and then deal with it all over again. It makes you realize how much you don’t need and that all of your money has been spent on things you never use. Moving really puts being broke into perspective. But that’s where the answer is: Throw it out. I really don’t need stacks of crap, so I threw almost everything away or donated it and, holy sh!t, it felt great. Sure, I’m probably going to regret it at some point but it just comes down to the fact that moving sucks and I don’t want to do it again. The motto everyone should live by is: when in doubt, throw it the hell out!

Double Your Pleasure

While You Pump ! Monday Nights Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Giving Away a hot pAir of

$25

Fuel Cards!

ICE COLD Big Daddys - 25oz.

$3.25

Domestic &

$4.25

premium

Monday Nights During the Game

NEW

@ Hooters Texas

@ HootersTexas

$2.75

Domestic Longnecks

Saturday & Sunday, 11am-6pm

14 DFW Area Locations www.HootersTexas.com