Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

VOL. 3 - ISSUE 11

Fla. man arrested in diaper: “Teens taunted me.” BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: Marc D Goes On His Own 5 Stars News 6 TCU/UNT Preview 7 COVER STORY: Cowboys Report Card Cowboys Preview 8 Ring of Honor / Top Running Backs 9 Midseason Report Card 10-11 BLITZ BABE: Daphne 12 Blitz Toys 13 Mavs News 14 Pacquiao vs Margarito Fight Preview 15 Food Review: Neighborhood Services 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: Sorrows To Drown 18 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jeff Putnam CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Matt Pearce Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS The Bum, Manny Flores, Dani Lurie, Sanewspaper123 STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joe Avezzano, Jay Betsill, Kris Boudreau, The Bum, Bronte Erwin, Andrew J. Hewitt, Kyle Saunders, Joe Stumpo CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029

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QUOTE OF THE WEEK “I’m very, very sorry to our fans ... You should have better than this. You should be able to tell that I won’t rest until we’ve figured some things out that get us in a different spot.” — Jerry Jones

A Florida man arrested for disorderly conduct while wearing a diaper on Halloween says he was pelted with candy by teenagers and wasn’t drunk at the time. Maryland State Police said 47-year-old Joseph David DiVanna of Sarasota, Fla., was arrested Sunday, October 31st. State Police said witnesses reported DiVanna cursed at adults and children in the Fox Chapel neighborhood of West Ocean City as he tried to get them to give him candy. Divanna said he was wearing a full baby costume complete with T-shirt, bib and bonnet and believes neighbors upset at his trick-or-treating alerted police. Divanna said he had been drinking, but wasn’t drunk and was provoked by the teens – the ones who were acting disorderly, he said.

Female topless ballot question fails in Mass. City

Voters in a western Massachusetts city have decided not to lose their shirts over at least one ballot question. Pittsfield voters soundly rejected a measure pushing for women to be allowed to walk around town topless. The nonbinding question, which was only on the ballot in Pittsfield’s 3rd Berkshire District, urged that district’s state representative to introduce legislation amending the state’s nudity definition. Under the proposal, females of any age would be allowed to be unclothed from the waist up in public anywhere males are allowed to be similarly undressed. Denise Yon told The Berkshire Eagle she voted no because of her 12-year-old daughter. Around 70 percent also voted against the measure. Katherine Gundelfinger, who spearheaded the signatures for the question, declined to comment.

Here Comes The Bride – Everybody Run!

A Maryland jury has convicted a woman of burglary, assault and reckless endangerment for breaking into her neighbor’s house wearing nothing but a bridal skirt and veil on a snowy night last February. Thirty-three-year old Melissa Wagaman testified Thursday that a combination of cold medicine and marijuana apparently made her hallucinate that she was getting married and her mother was locked in her neighbor’s basement. Wagaman broke a dining room window with her head, causing shattered glass to cut an artery in her neighbor’s arm. The jury rejected defense arguments that Wagaman truly believed she needed to enter the house and didn’t know she was endangering her neighbor. She faces up to 23 years in prison.

Andrew J. Hewett

www.chewednews.com

MOM SAID, “MY BOY, IT’S PARTY TIME!”

Nov. 1, 2010: While visiting her terminally ill 15-year-old son at a Pittsburgh hospital, Karen Remsing, age 42, decided to unhook his intravenous tube and enjoy the sharing of his pain-killer. But moments after injecting herself, and just after her ‘trip’ had begun, Remsing was caught and arrested. (And charged with: child endangerment, reckless endangerment, theft – the needle she injected herself with was stolen from the hospital – criminal mischief and committing prohibitive acts, including possession of prescription medication.)

EVEN IF YOU ARE UNDER AGE 20/30/40/50/60/ ETC…

What disease is 100% incurable? What disease is 100% fatal? What disease just might be birth control at the other end of life? Alzheimer’s. According to the National Advocate: “Starting on Jan. 1, our 79-million-strong babyboom generation will be turning 65 at a rate of one every eight seconds. That means more than 10,000 people each day. Estimates are 13.5 million Americans will be stricken with Alzheimer’s by 2050, up from 5 million in 2010. (Is God, maybe, just helping the human population stay more in balance?)

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Chris Pine

by Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

As many of you may remember, my absolute favorite movie last year was Star Trek. Now, I know you think it was because of Chris Pine’s piercing blue eyes, or picture-perfect hair, or maybe because he is the hottest new actor to grace the big screen since, oh, Brad Pitt. Well, you’re absolutely right, but he is also a darned fine actor, and I’m thrilled that he is starring alongside Denzel Washington in the new Tony Scott film Unstoppable. The movie is about a runaway train carrying a cargo of toxic chemicals that pits an engineer (Washington) and his conductor (Pine) in a race against time. They’re chasing the runaway train in a separate locomotive and need to bring it under control before it derails on a curve and causes a toxic spill that will decimate a town. I caught up with Chris to talk about the movie and about working with the incomparable Tony Scott. What attracted you to this film? It was a great story. It was a really, really great story. I read the script a lot over the course of the film, and I was surprised every time that Mark [Bomback] had written such a good script. Sounds like a real page turner! At page 75, I knew what was going to happen, but I was still flipping through it. It’s like the train. It’s unstoppable. It’s got this momentum to it that’s undeniable. What was it like working with Tony Scott at the helm of this movie? He, in my opinion, is one of the best at these really big action movies. Tony has a visual aesthetic that is so particular and so specific to him; so yeah, you love shooting these 360 shots. In the cab we had this bucket made where it was wide enough on the front that you can just go around and around and around, and I think Tony’s visual style fits perfectly with a movie like this where it’s all about a moving train and the events of the day culminating and building upon one another... I think Tony is a master at building tension through the movement and placement of the camera. How would you describe the movie for anyone wanting to go see it? It’s like controlled chaos. Unstoppable opens nationwide this week. The film is rated PG-13 for sequences of action and peril and some language.

by Joe Stumpo

www.darthstumpo.com

Megamind

I find it hard watching Megamind to not be reminded of all the direct similarities to the Superman films, or for that matter, a fair number of visual references to several other popular movies of decades past. I have never been able to take the Man of Steel seriously given the way he is dressed, which is why I am one of the few who actually liked Superman 3 (1983). (From the beginning the cape business was a little annoying, no? Was it ever anything but a way of making the blue man look as if he were really flying?) Given all my objections, Megamind’s animated superhero story might still have made me feel right at home if I were aware that directors Zach Snyder (Watchmen) and screenwriter/director Christopher Nolan have plans to turn the 2012 Superman reboot into a comedy. In our time it is perhaps more difficult to take a drama of good and evil between cartoon characters quite so seriously. After all, the pathos of Superman, which made the story work as melodrama, was based on the fact that there was a “real” city where “real” people were in need of a superhero’s (or super-boy scout’s) intervention. Still, it is not hard to spot the direct similarities with Megamind (voiced by Will Ferrell) whose evil ego is as large as his big blue forehead, causing him to resemble nothing so much as an alien version of Superman’s Lex Luthor. In fact everything

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here is literally “alien” as Megamind battles superhero Metro Man (voiced by Brad Pitt) in a city called “Metrocity” (just like Metropolis). Instead of a female newspaper reporter like Lois Lane, we have Roxanne Ritchi (voiced by Tina Fey) serving as the city’s only apparent television news reporter. Picture The Daily Planet’s Jimmy Olsen character from the Superman comics in the form of Roxanne’s overweight cameraman, then picture making him into a jealous superhero created by Megamind named Titan (voiced by Jonah Hill). What we get is a story similar to the plot of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) where Lex Luthor used the world’s nuclear weapons to create a supervillain to battle the Man of Steel. The difference here in Metrocity is following his loss to Megamind, Metro Man no longer wants the job as the world’s do-gooder. That leaves it up to Megamind to create a super villain of his own as a means to make him out to be the good guy; an experiment that offers up some humorous results – many of which are provided by Ferrell. Megamind is the latest animated 3D venture where the villain is not as bad as he makes himself out to be. The first was Despicable Me. Somewhere inside that nefarious exterior is a good guy just waiting to get out.

MARC D OF THE GS BOYZ by Kyle Saunders

2. Keep It Comin’

Keith Sweat – Keep It Comin’

3. Twisted

Keith Sweat – Self-Titled

4. Just A Touch

Keith Sweat – Self-Titled

5. Come and Get With Me

Keith Sweat – Still in the Game

6. Things

Keith Sweat – Didn’t See Me Coming

7. One on One

Keith Sweat – Rebirth

8. Love U Better

Keith Sweat – Just Me

9. Make You Sweat

Keith Sweat – I’ll Give All My Love to You

10. Full Time Lover

Keith Sweat – Ridin’ Solo

Wed 11/10

Heart of the West Art Exhibition National Cowgirl Museum – Ft. Worth Take in some art from an all-female art show celebrating the independent cowgirl spirit. The exhibit features Western themes in bronze, sculpture, oil and other mediums. Tickets are $8 - $10.

Thur 11/11

Keith Sweat – Make It Last Forever

80s Ladies Night Knox Street Pub – Dallas Sure the Uptown venue has a great location and drink specials that will make you smile. The real reason you’ll want to be there is for their Ladies Night. Enjoy the tunes by DJ Humble. Plus you catch the game!

Fri 11/12

David Allen Coe, The Dan Family, The Big Benders Trees - Dallas Check out the American Outlaw country music singer and have a few cold ones while you’re at it. Coe has several hits and you can look them up in case you forgot. He’s headlining the show and well worth the price of admission.

Sat 11/13

MUSIC: Keith Sweat Edition 1. I Want Her

Elton John & Leon Russell Ft. Worth Convention Center – Ft. Worth Elton John is headlining the show and everyone will get teary-eyed when he performs “Candle in the Wind.” Try to remain upbeat for “Crocodile Rock.” The legend Leon Russell will be there as well. He’s the real reason you should attend.

Sun 11/14

iary Battery Records. The whirlwind had begun! The single reached the Number 1 spot of BET’s 106 & Park Countdown and held the top spot for five weeks. They were invited to perform at the annual Rip the Runway event along with T.I., Keri Hilson, Bobby Valentino and other top hip-hop and R&B artists and reached the pinnacle of their success as entertainers when they received a nomination for Best Group at the 2009 BET Awards. When two members of the group decided to pursue their own interests Marc began working on his own solo project. His debut album, In My Own, is a public declaration of musical freedom both as artist and producer. The album is also a mixture of the funkadelic, hip hop and R&B influences that have surrounded Marc all his life. “I grew up listening to Lil Wayne, Chamillionaire, Outkast, Silk, or whoever my parents were listening to in the car,” says Marc. “I love what we created as a group, but In My Own is my chance to really show our fans a more personal side of who I am as an artist.” And so it does, from the pulsating beats of the first single off the album “Uh Huh” and powerful driving lyrics of “Let Me Be” to the sensual R&B rhythms of “My Baby” and his own personal anthem “Nobody Like Me.” “I selected ‘Uh Huh’ as the first single,” says Marc, “because it represents where I come from and what I’m about.” In My Own puts the music industry on notice that Mr. Marc D is more than a one-hit wonder. He is a talented force in the business who at age 19 has experienced more success than many do in a lifetime. For Marc, music is his destiny and whatever path it leads him down is the one his heart and soul must follow. His journey as a solo artist has just begun, and those who get to know his work will soon be along for the ride!

Chile Pepperama Old Town Shopping Center – Dallas Located at the corner of Lovers Lane and Greenville Avenue, Chile Pepperama takes place from 11am to 5pm. There will be live music all day, arts and crafts booths as well as samples which can be purchased. This event is for those who love all things spicy!

Mon 11/15

Marc burst onto the music scene in 2008 as one-fifth of the dance rap group GS Boyz. They had everyone from grade-schoolers to grandmothers doing the “Stanky Legg.” When their YouTube sensation turned Billboard and BET mega-hit, Marc D and his Dallas bandmates Soufside, Slizz, Prince and DK, danced their way across the Dirty South and from LA to New York City on a wave of popularity generated by the hit single and their follow-up hit “Booty Dew.” The youngest member of his household, at age ten Marc’s love for music took root. His brothers rapped, his father played bass guitar and his mother had a passion for R&B. After homework and basketball with friends, he returned to his tiny home studio where the creative juices flowed. Word soon got out around his school, Bowie High in Arlington, that he was very talented on the board. In 2007, a classmate approached Marc about joining a band he was trying to put together. Soon the band was performing at clubs and parties around the Dallas/Fort Worth area, and at age 16, Marc was penning and producing most of the band’s local hits, including “Twisted,” “He Don’t Deserve You,” “First Time,” and their first club hit, “Hit the GSpot,” which spawned the group’s name, Them G-Spot Boyz. Street buzz on “Stanky Legg” led to some of Dallas’s top radio personalities taking an interest in the band, and they began playing the song in heavy rotation on K104 and 97.9 The Beat. In the summer of 2008 the GS Boyz did their first music video for “Stanky Legg” and posted it to YouTube. Within two months, the song had over a million plays. Music luminaries from Drake to Snoop Dog were learning how to “do the Stanky Legg.” With the help of K104’s renowned DJ Ay Bay Bay, the band was introduced to hip-hop icon Yung Joc, who signed the band to his entertainment label Swagg Team. This led to a recording contract with Jive and they became the first artists signed to Jive subsid-

Dinosaurs Unearthed Museum of Nature & Science – Dallas Why take the kids to see a movie about dinosaurs when you can have a field day at the museum? They have nine full-size robotic replicas that move and roar. The kids can even dig up some imitation fossils.

Tue 11/16

GOES ON HIS OWN

The Trinity River Plays Dallas Theater Center – Dallas Get some culture and go see these plays about a young woman’s journey into adulthood. All three plays: Jarfly, Rain, and Ghost are written by Oak Cliff native Regina Taylor. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com

STARS News

by Tony Barone

“The Senior Sports Authority”

The Dallas Stars ended their six-game homestand by pounding out a season high six goals, including four on the power play, in beating the Phoenix Coyotes 6-3. The win was the third straight for the Stars, who improved to 8-4-0 on the season with the victory. “We are becoming a very good club,” said Stars coach Marc Crawford. “Last year we had a good home record and we should have a good home record here. It’s always a result of how hard you work and how you stay with the structure of your game. If you do that you give yourself a chance to be successful. Tonight it wasn’t systems. It was our players being in the right place and making the right decisions.” Earlier in the week Loui Eriksson scored twice, including a penaltyshot goal, Kari Lehtonen made 21 saves, and the Dallas Stars earned a fight-filled 5-2 victory over Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburgh Penguins. It was arguably the most entertaining game of the year. Crosby thought he needed to drop the gloves to stick up for a teammate and when Crosby’s gloves came off, so did defenseman Matt Niskanen’s. “I never saw that coming,” Niskanen said. “We were up 4-1 and he was probably trying to get the team going. He asked me to go and we went. I didn’t say a word to him all night. I wasn’t on the ice with him all night. I made sure he really wanted it and we went. It happens.” “You have to give Sidney credit for trying to inspire his group,” Crawford said. “I liked how Matt Niskanen got in there.

He’ll certainly be on a lot of highlight tapes tonight.” Despite their strong finish in the homestand, the Stars finished the week on the road at Colorado with a bad performance. Backup Avs goalie Peter Budaj made 31 saves for his first shutout in nearly a year, and fourth-liner Kevin Porter scored two goals in a 5-0 beat-down of the Stars on Saturday night. The Stars have 16 points through 13 games of the season and are in 2nd place in the Pacific Division, four points behind the L.A. Kings. The Stars finished 26th in faceoffs last season, winning 48.1 percent of them. That got plenty of attention in training camp this season, and began paying dividends early on. Through 10 games this season they have been winning over half (51%) of their faceoffs, which has earned them the rank of 11th in the league. “We’ve been better and we should be better,” said Stars coach Marc Crawford. “Two guys that have worked hard on faceoffs and have helped us are Ott and Burish. They win through tenacity, going out and digging in. On the other side there is the experience of Ribeiro and Richards. We should be a pretty good group. Tommy Wandell will benefit from having all those guys compete with him.” Crawford credits assistant coach Stu Barnes for taking a lot of the initiative on the faceoff front. Barnes credits the players. “I think the guys have really dug in on them,” said Barnes. “We’ve talked a little bit about them in prep, but the guys themselves have really dug in and taken pride in it. Any time we have worked on it in practice they’ve battled hard.” The Stars have signed goaltender Jack Campbell to a three-year entry-level contract. The 18-year-old Campbell was the 11th pick in this year’s draft and has been playing for the Windsor Spitfires of the Western Hockey League. He is 65 with a 3.81 goals-against average in 12 games. Campbell will finish the season with Windsor and is expected to be in training camp with the Stars next year. The 6-foot 3-inch, 175-pound Campbell played for the U.S. National Development Team last season and has led the Americans to gold medals in three international youth tournaments.

Photos Courtesy: Manny Flores

Stars End Homestand on 3-Game Streak

Crossword Solution by Tony Barone – “The Senior Sports Authority”

San Diego State vs. #3TCU

Sat. Nov. 13 – 3:00PM – Amon G. Carter Stadium – Versus Andy Dalton passed for a career-high 355 yards and three touchdowns and the third-ranked TCU Horned Frogs engineered a 47-7 demolition of No. 6 Utah on Saturday. The loss snapped Utah’s 21-game home winning streak and dashed any hopes the Utes (8-1, 5-1) had at being a BCS buster for the third time. TCU entered the game ranked No. 3 in the BCS standings. Even with Alabama losing, the Frogs still need Oregon or Auburn to falter to have a shot at playing in the national title game. Just staying unbeaten could get them in the Rose Bowl, which is obligated to take the highest-ranked non-automatic qualifier over the second-place Pac10 team or any other at-large possibilities as the Big Ten champion’s opponent. Coach Patterson reminded everyone of TCU’s remaining games, against San Diego State and New Mexico, but if they win those, “Then we’ll have a conversation.” The first of those games is against San Diego next Saturday. The Aztecs (7-2) have been erratic (five turnovers in the first half in their 24-19 victory over Colorado State last Saturday) but their defense has the heart to step up its level of play at any time. SDSU’s problems will be on offense. In spite of the sometimes brilliant passing of Ryan Lindley, TCU’s defense has smothered one team after another all year.

by Frank LaCosta - “College Football Fanatic”

NFL: Ravens vs. Falcons

Thur. Nov. 11 – 7:20PM – Georgia Dome – NFL The Falcons are 17-1 at home behind Matt Ryan. They have a running game with Michael Turner and WR Roddy White can take over a game. The Ravens on the other hand still have a dominating defense. When the Ravens have the ball, look for a steady diet of Ray Rice. NFL on a Thursday night is a good thing!

NBA: Celtics vs. Heat

Thur. Nov. 11 – 7:00PM – American Airlines Arena – TNT The Celtics won the season opener at home last month 88-80. They won five in a row before coming to Dallas. They have consistently been putting up points in the young season. The Heat are doing well also. There is plenty of star power in this one and if Miami hits their 3-point shots it’ll be a close game.

NHL: Stars vs. Ducks

Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce, Joe Lorenzini

UNT vs. Middle Tennessee

Sat. Nov. 13 – 2:30PM – Floyd Stadium – ESPN3 Troy University defeated UNT this past Saturday 41-35 as scoring drives alternated for both teams throughout the game. The Trojans used a bit of trickery to score their last TD which was a 19-yard pass from RB Jerrel Jernigan to TE Donnie Crosby. That made the difference as UNT ended its final drive on a personal foul, turning over the ball on downs. Riley Dodge passed for 269 yards and had three TDs in the game. Lance Dunbar had 21 carries for 96 yards and a TD on the ground. He also caught three passes for 80 yards and a TD to lead UNT in receiving yards for the day. This week UNT (2-7, 2-4 Sun Belt) takes on the Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders. This will be the third game for interim UNT Head Coach Mike Canales. Blue Raider senior QB Dwight Dasher has lost a bit of his magic from last season. He didn’t play in the first four games of the year and has more interceptions (10) than TDs (3 passing and 5 rushing). Phillip Tanner is the primary back to carry the ball while D.D. Kyles will relieve him at times. Their receiving corps is pedestrian at best. The defense is nothing to brag about as they have surrendered double-digit points in every game this season. The Blue Raiders return 15 starters from a team that won their bowl game last year yet this year look completely lost at times.

Fri. Nov. 12 – 9:00PM – Honda Center – FSSW This is the second game of the Stars West Coast road trip before coming home for a three-game home stand. Every game in the Pacific Division is an important one and the Ducks have a pretty good team. It’ll be interesting to see how Richards, Eriksson and Ribeiro perform.

College Football: (22) S. Carolina vs. (24) Florida

Sat. Nov. 13 – 6:15PM – Ben Hill Griffin Stadium – ESPN Another SEC battle for bragging rights. The “Ol’ Ball Coach” faces his old team when South Carolina takes on Florida. The winners get their tickets punched for the SEC Title game in December against Auburn. The losers probably get their tickets punched for the Liberty Bowl. Can Urban Meyer get the Gators ready?

by Joe Avezzano “The Coach”

Well, I guess everyone’s happy now. Wade Phillips was let go as the Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys and Jason Garrett was named as his replacement. We all know that Wade wasn’t a great Head Coach (34-22) with the fourth best win total in franchise history but mainly we just didn’t like his demeanor. He was supposed to yell more and be what we perceive a coach to be. The team had quit listening to Wade and after the embarrassing 45-7 defeat by Green Bay, Jerry Jones had to go against his philosophy and make a change. Now what? Jason Garrett is a bright football person whose whole family has been around football forever. His dad Jim was a long-time scout and coach in college and the NFL. Jason has two brothers on the staff in Dallas. He’ll be wellorganized and will demand a degree of preparation and effort consistent with his own when he was a player. Here are some things he’ll have to deal with: in 2008 and 2009 there were four head coaching changes made midseason. Three coaches continued their losing ways and are no longer with their teams. One, Mike Singletary, got the job at San Francisco. It is a large uphill fight to change the culture of a team midstream. Certainly there are players on this team who could be motivated to play well, but some of the talent has been overrated and can’t play much better. The safety position and the offensive line will be hard to fix quickly. Tony Romo would be nice to have but that’s not happening so the decision has to be made to see Stephen McGee or ride it out with Jon Kitna. Along with management, those are decisions that will be Head Coach Garrett’s to make. Players in the locker room have had their heads in the sand if they thought there would not be a change. And they have a lot to do with it. Those who profess their support of Wade should have played better and this might not have happened. There are defensive players who didn’t think the offense was doing a good job and now the Offensive Coordinator is the Head Coach. Bottom line is, these players are now playing for their jobs. Everyone is under the microscope. Jason can’t work miracles, but if he can muster the troops to 3-4-5 wins that might be enough for him to get the job for the future. His first test, at the New Meadowlands this week, may well be his hardest this year. by Jay Betsill “Man on the Inside”

After the New York Giants roared into Cowboys Stadium on October 25th and thrashed the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, injuring quarterback Tony Romo in the process, things went from bad to horrid. This week the Giants welcome the lowly Cowboys into New Meadowlands Stadium in a match-up of two teams heading in exact opposite directions. Just when you thought things could not get any uglier, all of America was treated to a complete massacre as the Cowboys were mauled by the Green Bay Packers 45-7 on NBC’s Football Night in America, with quarterback Jon Kitna being sacked to end the game. The only thing worse than the Cowboys’ lackluster defense was its predictable offense. Near the end of NBC’s telecast, Cris Collinsworth said, “It has been a long time since I have seen anyone humiliate the Dallas Cowboys like this.” Specifically, December 28, 2008, when the Eagles beat the Cowboys 44-6 on the final game of the season. The Giants, on the other hand, have won five consecutive games with a bye week thrown in. This week they are coming off a 41-7 destruction of the Seattle Seahawks. The Giants 34-point win over the Seahawks ties the record for their largest road win since the NFL-AFL merger and for the 5th-largest win in team history. Not surprisingly, the Giants dominated time of possession, 42:34 to 17:26, en route to the second most lopsided game of NFL Week 9 (behind only the Cowboys 45-7 loss). New York finished with 487 yards of offense, topping 400 yards for the third time during its win streak as they scored 41 points for the second game in a row. “Don’t start thinking we’re good right now,” Eli Manning said after the game. “We’ve just got to make sure we stay committed to getting better.” Their winning streak is probably not threatened if they show up at the stadium this week. The Cowboys have lost five consecutive games for the first time since 1997. Unless some type of miracle occurs, look for the trend to continue as the Giants will most likely dominate the Cowboys in all phases of the game.

by Kris Boudreau – “Voice Out West”

1. Emmitt Smith-2005: The all-time rushing king is seen by many as one of the top two or three running backs of all time and along with Tony Dorsett as the best in Cowboys history. Before he was dancing with the stars, he was known as one of the toughest players in the NFL and showed it by playing with a dislocated shoulder against the Giants in 1993.

as a starter in his rookie year, to winning three Super Bowls and a Super Bowl MVP.

defensive players to use the bump-and-run strategy to slow him down off the line.

Bowls. He still holds most records in regards to solo tackles for the Cowboys.

4. Rayfield Wright-2004: The “Big Cat” could do it all for the Cowboys during the 70s where he played on both sides of the ball; on the defensive line and on offense as both a tight end and offensive tackle.

8. Randy White-1994: The definition of consistency, White was elected to an incredible nine straight Pro Bowls from 1977-1985 as both a linebacker and defensive linemen.

2. Michael Irvin-2005: “The Playmaker” made five consecutive Pro Bowls from 1991-1995 and was the main target of Troy Aikman during their Super Bowl teams in 1993, 1994, and 1996. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2007.

5. Cliff Harris-2004: “Captain Crash” was a hidden gem that Dallas found out of Ouchita Baptist University in 1970. Harris was an All-Pro safety six times and a member of the 1970s All-Decade Team.

12. Roger Staubach-1983: He might be regarded as the most famous Cowboy of all time. After winning a Heisman at Navy, Staubach had to wait four years to start his NFL career due to his military obligations. However, it was worth the wait, as the sixtime Pro-Bowler led the Cowboys to two Super Bowl victories and was a member of the 1970s All-Decade team.

3. Troy Aikman-2005: Aikman was truly the catalyst of the Cowboys’ success in the 90s. Drafted number one overall in the 1989 Draft, Aikman was on board from going 0-11

6. Tex Schramm-2003: “America’s Team” was born under Tex Schramm. The first Cowboys President and General Manager, Tex was one of the most influential front office men in NFL history. 7. Bob Hayes-2001: Coming out of Florida A&M, “Bullet Bob” was an Olympic sprinter turned NFL wide receiver that the “Boys took a chance on” in the 1964 draft. The fastest man in the world won gold at the 1962 Olympics in Tokyo before revolutionizing the wide receiver position and causing

9. Tony Dorsett-1994: The four-time Pro-Bowler and Super Bowl XII champ will go down alongside Emmitt as the best running back in Cowboys history. 10. Tom Landry-1993: Landry’s was one of the most distinguished head football coaching careers in history, from 19601988, winning Super Bowls VI and XII. A true innovator, Landry was way ahead of his time as the first coach to implement the “4-3 Defense,” in use by many teams in today’s game, as well as the “Flex Defense” and the “Shotgun Formation.”

13. Mel Renfro-1981: The corner out of Oregon was selected to start 10 Pro Bowls during his career, helping lead the Cowboys to wins in Super Bowls VI and XII.

14. Chuck Howley-1977: Howley was part of the historic “Doomsday Defense” of late 60s and early 70s while being named to 6 Pro Bowls. He was named MVP of Super Bowl V even though the Cowboys lost. 15. Don Perkins-1976: Perkins was part of the inaugural season of the Cowboys in 1960 and was the first of the great Cowboy running backs. 16. Don Meredith-1976: As Perkins was the first great running back in Cowboys history, Meredith was the first of the great quarterbacks. “Dandy Don” was a three-time Pro-Bowler. 17. Bob Lilly-1975: It is only right that “Mr. Cowboy” would be the first inducted into the Ring of Honor. The TCU grad was the first pick in franchise history—and a good one, leading the Cowboys to their first Super Bowl (VI) win while making 11 Pro Bowls.

11. Lee Roy Jordan1989: “Killer” was a five-time Pro-Bowler during his tenure in Dallas and helped Landry’s teams to three Super

by Geoff Case – “NFL Fanatic”

The Dallas Cowboys have a rich tradition of having premier running backs. From Walt Garrison and Don Perkins to Herschel Walker, the Cowboys always seemed to have one charging through the pile. In ranking the greats, I kept in mind the fact that the earlier backs were disadvantaged by the passing rules. Before pass defense rules were changed there was much more running of the ball and ganging up on the runners. Also, the earlier backs played fewer games, skewing total yardage figures.

was the best pass-blocking running back in NFL history. Emmitt played in 226 games with the Cowboys and Cardinals. He rushed for 18,355 yards and 164 touchdowns. He added 515 catches for 3,224 yards and 11 scores. Also memorable about Emmitt was the heart and passion he put into every touch. That intangible characteristic is something that propelled him harder, longer, and farther than any back in NFL history.

1. Emmitt Smith Emmitt Smith is quite simply the best Dallas Cowboy running back in NFL history since he is the leading career runner in league history. He led the Cowboys with solid numbers on almost every play and was seldom thrown for a loss. The only other Cowboy back that comes close to Emmitt’s elite status is Tony Dorsett. Dorsett did have a .1 better yards per average at 4.3 compared to Emmitt’s 4.2 but there was nobody better than #22 if you needed a touchdown or a first down. With the possible exception of Walter Payton, Emmitt

2. Tony Dorsett Tony Dorsett was the big addition that allowed the Cowboys to win their Super Bowl against the Broncos during his rookie season. He added the much needed pop to their running game and was a great runner for years to come. The highlight reel 99-yard running play against the Vikings on Monday Night Football is still one of the most breathtaking plays in league history.

The amazing thing was that fullback Ron Springs mixed up his assignment and wasn’t on the field, leaving the Cowboys with 10 men on the play. Dorsett was one of the fastest backs, if not the fastest back, of his time and he routinely used his electric speed to abuse defenses. In 173 games for Dallas and Denver he rushed for 12,739 yards and 77 touchdowns. He added 398 catches for 3,554 yards and 13 touchdowns. 3. Herschel Walker Herschel Walker didn’t play as many years in Dallas as Smith or Dorsett but he sure made his mark. He was the lone weapon on some really bad Cowboys teams and found a way to produce week in and week out. This alone earned him his place on the list of greatest Dallas Cowboy running backs of all time. He was 6’1” and 225 pounds of pure muscle and on top of that had worldclass speed. He was a true team player and was even unselfish enough to return kicks. However, as good as Walker was on the field his trade value ultimately had the most significant impact on the franchise. The Cowboys traded him to the Vikings for what worked out to be a boatload of draft picks that helped to build the 90s Cowboys Dynasty. In 187 games Herschel Walker

gained 8,225 yards rushing and scored 61 touchdowns. He added 512 receptions for 4,859 yards and 21 scores. He also had 5,084 yards and 2 touchdowns on kick returns. 4. Don Perkins Don Perkins was the first great runner the Cowboys ever had. A six-time Pro Bowl player who gained 6,217 yards rushing during his illustrious career with the Cowboys, Perkins currently ranks 3rd on the team’s all-time rushing list. Having played before the Cowboys first Super Bowl appearance in 1970, Perkins has never received the acclaim he deserves. However, the Cowboys, did enshrine him in the Ring of Honor in 1976. He was a solid, workmanlike back who did a spectacular job toting the rock on some early Dallas teams. He added 146 receptions for 1,310 yards and 3 touchdowns during a time when backs were not often used in the passing game.

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The 50th Anniversary Dallas Cowboys season began with Super Bowl XLV aspirations for one of the NFL’s signature franchises. Following last season’s success -- including an NFC East title and a playoff victory over the hated Philadelphia Eagles -- the expectations were set in stone with the Super Bowl being played at Cowboys Stadium and the fact that no team has ever played in the championship game at their home stadium. When the Cowboys moved up in the first round of the NFL Draft to select wide receiver Dez Bryant, excitement for the upcoming season reached a fever pitch. Sports Illustrated’s Peter King said the Cowboys “have the most talent 1-80 (editor’s note: preseason roster) and will be a tough team to beat in the playoffs and the odds-on favorite to play in the Super Bowl.” Then came their traveling Training Camp that took the team from Valley Ranch to San Antonio to Oxnard and back to Valley Ranch. There was an extra pre-season game as the Cowboys headed up to Canton, Ohio for the Hall of Fame game against Terrell Owens and the Bengals. And while the Cowboys looked out of sorts during the pre-season, most critics and fans alike assumed the much-heralded team would flip the switch when the regular season kicked off. After all, they were returning practically every major cog from last season’s team. The players that were no longer around -- OT Flozell Adams, S Ken Hamlin and LB Bobby Carpenter -- were gone by choice. The major question marks heading into the season were kicker David Buehler’s ability to transition from kickoff specialist to a legitimate field goal kicker and if Doug Free would be able to step into Flozell Adams spot protecting quarterback Tony Romo’s blind side. Following their 1-7 start, it is apparent that the Dallas Cowboys may have had us all fooled. Or maybe they believed their own hype and when the harsh reality hit them, there was no true leadership to show the team how to handle the adversity? My biggest question after the first half of the season is “How did they even win one game?”

by Jay Betsill – “Man on the Inside”

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think back to the Cowboys dynasty teams of the 90s, there are inories of offensive superstars like “The Triplets.” However, it all bene of the most dominating offensive lines in NFL history. The only current offensive line has in common with those units of the 90s play in North Texas. Before he was knocked out of action with a larbone, quarterback Tony Romo was constantly running for his life group. Jason Witten, long one of the Cowboys biggest weapons, orced to help out in the floundering blocking schemes and basically f the equation as the safety valve. OT Alex Barron’s penalty on the the Redskins game set in motion the trend of “finding ways to lose hile revolving running backs Barber, Jones and Choice should lock tent running game, they have instead garnered more attention for have NOT done. The lone bright spot on the offensive side of the en the inspired play of rookie receiver Dez Bryant.

oys have a superstar surrounded by a top quality supporting cast on vels of the defense. Up front, the superstar is nose tackle Jay Ratliff, ends Marcus Spears and Igor Olshansky as the run anchors. DeMars obviously the superstar at the linebacking level, playing alongside ide linebacker Anthony Spencer, strong-inside linebacker Bradie weak-inside linebacker Keith Brooking. And don’t forget to add n Lee to the mix. Cornerback Mike Jenkins, coming off a Pro Bowl d be seen as the superstar of the secondary. Agile, crafty veteran ewman and safeties Gerald Sensabaugh and Alan Ball round out the it. On paper, this is a stellar group. In reality, every player has taken k from a year ago. This once-vaunted group has become very pred has lost their ability to put pressure on the quarterback. Formerly an elite defense, it would now be a small victory if they could simteam under 40 points and/or 400 yards of total offense.

the kicking woes of Nick Folk and Shaun Suisham that plagued the n 2009 – and with so much on the line for a team that had visions of the Super Bowl – it’s understandable that they would go after a vetsuch as Neal Rackers to solidify the position. Or perhaps go another et kickoff specialist David Buehler handle the field goal duties. Yet other off-season gamble that has not worked out as planned. Punter iar has been his usual steady self with more of a workload than he ccustomed to with the Cowboys. Dez Bryant has provided a spark m in his role as the primary punt returner. The coverage units have ge, showing a tendency to give up the big play.

ips inherited a great group of talent when he took over from Bill head coach in 2007, and he did what he needed to in the regular seawinning. Last year’s wild-card win was his first postseason victory s to the playoffs and it seemed like everything was finally coming r Phillips and his time as head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. ast season, the offense and defense are complete failures. Early on, stly turnover or an ill-timed penalty that would cost the Cowboys. ck weeks of excessive celebration penalties left the coaching staff at w there is nothing left to celebrate. The defense cannot stop anybody ense cannot score. They have been out-played and out-coached in e of the game. Finally on Nov. 8 Jerry Jones fired Wade Phillips. arrett was elevated to the position of “Interim Head Coach.” Jones nced that Paul Pasqualoni will be the new defensive coordinator. lips is the scapegoat of the moment, this mess of a season cannot ed to one person. This vomit-inducing season will eventually come e some of the players who have appeared to not give their full effort. it remains to be seen if a change in head coaches will translate into more than someone else to blame.

11 At the conclusion of the Cowboys loss to the Packers on NBC’s Football Night in America postgame, Bob Costas basically summed up Dallas’s season. “The Cowboys were punchless, they were lifeless and now they are hopeless.” But for true Dallas Cowboys fans, there is always hope. In this case that “hope” should probably be geared toward the future and who the team will select with their early first round pick in next year’s draft. While any realistic chance of making the postseason is gone, there are still eight games to play in the 2010 campaign. This is a chance for the Cowboys to get young players such as Dez Bryant and Sean Lee some invaluable experience as they have upcoming games against powerhouses such as the Indianapolis Colts, Philadelphia Eagles, New York Giants and the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints. What happens in the remainder of the season will go a long way towards determining who will be a member of the Cowboys next season as several of the veterans on this “stacked” roster have enjoyed the celebrity lifestyle provided by their big contracts and forgotten the fundamentals of what made this team so good. They can choose to use the first half of the season as a wake-up call and attempt to redefine what has become of this team or they can continue to point fingers and look at the other guy. In the end, changes will be made because the one thing that Jerry Jones cannot afford to have on an annual basis is a losing product on display in the world’s most beautiful stadium.

While many of its specs make it a perfect fit for urban life, make no mistake: the Hanebrink All-Terrain Bike is meant for the wilderness. A hybrid traditional/electric mountain bike, the Hanebrink features a carbon fiber seatpost and handle bars, Shimano cranks, chains, and derailleur, hydraulic disc brakes, Hanebrink hubs and wheels with 20x8 inch tubeless tires, and a run time of up to one hour with a single Lithium-Ion battery — or over five hours with added batteries on the rear rack — either of which powers a 600-Watt electric motor and gets you up to 20 mph; for faster traveling, or if you run out of juice, just pedal. (Price $5,500 and up)

Ski trail smartphone access is great and all, but it’s a little hard to look at Google maps when you’re flying down the hillside. The Zeal Transcend GPS Goggle gets around this problem by mounting a micro LCD display right inside the goggles. In addition to showing real-time GPS data, the screen can also offer feedback like speed, latitude/longitude, altitude, vertical distance traveled, total distance traveled, temperature and time, all on a screen that appears to hang roughly six feet in front of you. Glovefriendly buttons and a lens that is either polarized, or polarized and photochromic, round out this alpine offering. (Price $400-$500)

We suppose it was inevitable. Ever since Apple opened the iOS flood gates to accessory developers, we’ve seen things as useful as a glucose meter to as crazy as a toy quadricopter. Somewhere in between lies the Cobra iRadar. This high-performance laser and radar detector provides 360-degree monitoring and integrates with a free iRadar app that goes beyond simple detection to notify drivers of speed and red-light cameras, known speed traps, dangerous intersections, or basically anything you’ll want to avoid. (Price - $130)

Everyone has a few methods for picking up women, some classic, some tried-and-true, and some that have just been discovered. This list will prepare the wingman for almost any situation that he may find himself in. Remember: all it takes is one wingnut to get a screw. 1. Good Cop/Bad Cop - Play the bad cop in the “good cop/bad cop” strategy. Be the jerk so your friend can swoop in and be the gallant gentleman. He might even get lucky, so the woman can prove that the bad guy was wrong and that she was desirable. 2. Wingnut - Act really crazy and drunk on a path of debauched destruction, so your friend will look very mature and civilized. 3. The Grenade - This method, popularized by the meatheads on “Jersey Shore,” involves taking one for the team. Your pal gets the hot girl but only if you feign interest in her ugly friend with the elephant legs. 4. The Kamikaze - This is similar to the grenade, except that instead of just humoring the ugly girl, you actually go home with her. You crash into a ball of flames for your friend. 5. Magnum PI - This person secretly takes a photo of the desired girl and then does a quick face-scan id – there are IPhone apps for this – googles her for inside information, then sends it back to you for further analysis.

6. The MacGyver - This requires some surreptitious behind-the-scenes work. First, the wingman must secretly sabotage some item belonging to the desired target. Then, you swoop in like the fix-it hero. From zero to hero. 7. Dine and Dash - You’re with your wingman, your beer goggles are starting to wear off, and you suddenly realize that the woman you have been chatting with has a very prominent Adam’s apple. You need to get out of there quick so the wingman will come up and say in exasperation, “We have to go now! A tsunami’s coming!” 8. Humpty Dumpty - You show up with your leg in a cast and your wingman helps you with your crutches. That way you can play the sympathy card while your wingman backs up your crazy story about how your parachute didn’t open. 9. Rocket-Surgeon - The bigger your lie, the more people will believe it. Make up something ridiculous – you’re a surgeon working on rockets. Don’t worry. A good wingman will vouch for you. 10. The Vegan - Exude vegan man-power. Don’t believe it’s possible? There was a story featured in Men’s Health magazine recently on the very subject. Impress the ladies while proudly displaying your vegan superpowers while your wingman disgusts everyone by telling how he likes to roast wild boar piglets for breakfast in between fetid burps from his rib dinner.

MAVS News Riding the Pine

While J.J. has shown a great ability to draw charges he can’t be expected to get every call. I’m not trying to use this space to spew venom on J.J. Barea for all the Mavs’ misfortunes this season but his presence creates very real problems. The Mavericks have got to figure out how to effectively use Barea if they are going to keep expecting him to run the second team for major minutes to spell Jason Kidd. J.J. Barea belongs in the NBA because of his fearless demeanor and unrivaled determination but he needs to develop other parts of his game if he wants to help this team. I’m not exactly sure if that’s possible but it’s something the Mavericks need to figure out this season. Also a problem: the Matrix must be a factor offensively. Shawn Marion’s offensive shot selection needs some

“NBA Analyst”

retooling. In Phoenix, he used his ultraathletic ability to score despite most of his shots coming from unorthodox places and release points. It’s 2010 and Shawn Marion’s abilities are starting to decline – affecting his ability to put the ball in the hoop. The floaters that were a staple in Marion’s game have not been as reliable as they have been in the past. The Mavericks wanted to bring back the three-point shot that he used so effectively earlier in his career but he fails to draw iron on most of his launches. In my early Mavericks preview there was hope that Marion could exploit opponents’ back-up forwards for some easy points using his quickness, but that has not been the case. The Matrix needs to figure out a shot that can consistently fall for him and have the Mavericks set up some plays

that will get him going in games. While some of the offensive struggles for Marion stem from Barea’s inability to set him up (he’s a slasher in the truest sense of the word) his defense has not wavered. The lone “stopper” on the Mavericks squad has been great in his time in Dallas and that alone should keep his minutes relatively high. While these two players are not the only reason the bench has struggled, it’s obvious that the turnaround in the bench’s production needs to start here.

Photos Courtesy: Manny Flores

The Mavericks have started the season looking like a carbon copy of last season’s squad complete with all the shortcomings. They fail to blow away undermanned teams at home and the “deepest bench in the NBA” has yet to produce. The Mavericks failure to add another offensive weapon this offseason will hurt them in the upcoming months until Rodrigue Beaubois returns from injury. The bench as it is currently constituted (with Jason Terry in the starting lineup) lacks a dynamic scorer who can create his own shot and must rely on J.J. Barea’s playmaking abilities to produce points. Barea is fearless going into the paint and in the past, opposing teams collapsed when he ventured inside, creating shots. Unfortunately, the scouting report is out on Barea and teams decided to stay home on their assignments, making it harder for Barea to distribute the rock efficiently. This has been the game plan for most opponents so far and it has taken J.J. and the rest of the bench down a few notches offensively. The change can be seen in the numbers: through five games Barea has averaged a measly 1.6 assists a game and 2.0 turnovers. The other problem stems from Barea being a liability on defense, with opposing teams immediately exploiting his size when he’s on the court. Opponents have been sending in a strong physical guard and placing a target on Barea’s back.

by Geoff Case

Pac-Man Returns to Cowboys Stadium

“The Senior Sports Authority”

for Pacquiao and would get him ready to fight styles more similar to the slick, classic boxing style of Mayweather. But it is what it is now, and the fact is he will be fighting Antonio Margarito who, though he may not be the best matchup for Manny, is always one tough customer. He will certainly make Manny earn his victory. And what kind of arsenal will Margarito bring into the ring on November 13? Antonio Margarito will be a sexy opponent for Pacquiao because Margarito loves to come straight at his opponents and tries to break their will. Margarito was caught with tampered handwraps before fighting “Sugar” Shane Mosley back in January of last year. After the Mosley fight, Margarito was prohibited from fighting in the United States for one year. In Margarito’s comeback fight in May of this year, he beat light middleweight Roberto Garcia in Mexico in a unanimous decision. Manny Pacquiao’s last two fights were a twelve-round beat down of Miguel Cotto in November of 2009, and a twelve-round unanimous decision against Joshua Clottey

n November 13, 2010, Cowboys Stadium in Arlington will host yet another highly anticipated sporting event—an event where a fighter most people believe to be one of the best pound for pound boxers ever, Manny Pacquiao, will cruise to yet another one-sided victory over opponent Antonio Margarito. This fight will be for the vacant WBC junior middleweight belt. Instead of focusing on the upcoming fight itself, fight fans seem to be dwelling on the questions and the what-ifs. When will Floyd Mayweather and Pacquiao fight? Why didn’t Pacquiao choose to take on one of the many other highly qualified junior middleweight fighters instead of choosing to take on the controversial veteran Antonio Margarito? Most believe that there were many better options in terms of potential opponents for Pacquiao, which would enable him to continue his legacy and get primed for an eventual fight against Mayweather. Some of these opponents which may have been better fights for Pacquiao include the undefeated Timothy Bradley, Andre Berto who is at the prime of his career and is coming off of a very impressive TKO victory over Carlos Quintana, and of course another great option would be “Sugar” Shane Mosley. All of these fights would be more reputable wins

by Tony Barone

Whether viewed by concern over drug abuse or fear of a police state, most people have to deal with drug testing. Yet people typically turn to the friend least likely to pass a drug test for information. This paranoia-induced, conspiracy theory misinformation has led to horror stories of CPS snatching babies due to poppy seeds, a pot-filled room, or sex with a significant other with a significant habit. But while the stories are fiction, the testing is high science. Drug screening works on the principle that anything ingested into the body will metabolize into a distinct metabolite. Once the screeners identify the drug’s specific metabolite, it can be identified as it exits the body in the form of saliva, hair, fingernails, blood or urine. Most tests include a ten-panel drug screen of things you might find in Charlie Sheen’s hotel room. The samples are screened on an immunoassay, using light to identify the drugs’ characteristic metabolites. If results are positive a confirmation test is performed on the more sensitive mass spectrometry. Standardized national guidelines prevent the mere presence of the substance from qualifying as a positive test. This is what makes the urban legends like a poppy bagel an impossible scenario.

Testing is typically contracted through an intermediary like Dallas based Forensic DNA and Drug Testing Services Inc., to avoid HIPPA and legal complications. Forensic DNA President Jim Turnage learned his trade working for the oil rigs in the mid-80s when rampant drug use was costing Big Oil millions in work stoppages and legal payouts. Testing on urine, Turnage says, is most common because of financial considerations. And while urine is extremely accurate, its downfall is the duration of detection and propensity for inconclusive results due to dilution. Metabolites are expelled from the kidneys through urine. However, if the kidneys are purged through excessive urinating, the test will be negative for the drug panel. To combat deliberate dilution, tests analyze creatinine levels, the metabolized form of creatine found in urine. If the sample does not contain the expected levels

in May of this year, in a fight where it looked like Pacquiao was fighting by himself. Before you count Margarito out of this fight, there are a few things to consider, including the noticeable size advantage that Margarito has. Margarito is a full 4.5 inches taller than Pacquiao and has a reach advantage of six inches. He is also a relentless attacker with a great chin, so if he can stand up to Manny’s punches

by Bronte Erwin

twitter@bronteerwin

of creatinine, the test is considered inconclusive and a new sample is required. This is the battle fought between the screeners and the maskers. Store-bought masking agents are essentially a diuretic infused with creatine designed to pee out the drug’s characteristic metabolites while artificially raising the creatinine levels; a concoction which can be duplicated by having a sushi lunch and drinking five pints of water, then purging before the exam. Turnage says time is the only effective way to have a clean test, with most drugs staying in the system for 2-3 days, except for marijuana which can range from 10 to 30 days depending on usage and potency. Rest easy if you happen to score those Roger Waters tickets and have a breakdown when the guy next to you passes you a joint. Small amounts of marijuana in an infrequent user are likely to exit the body in 18 hours.

and use his size, reach and strength to his advantage, he may be able to fare better than just another victim of Pacquiao’s relentless assault. Pacquiao’s focus while training for this fight has been questioned. According to his trainer, Freddy Roach, Pacquiao is playing around a bit too much in his training and sparring sessions and needs to get his game face on and start to get a little more serious. When these two men meet in the ring on November 13, it should definitely be an interesting fight. Margarito will be the aggressor, using his height and reach to his advantage, while forcing Pacquiao to execute with perfectly timed punches from all angles, in a way that seemingly only he can do. Pacquiao should win the fight, but expect Margarito to fight hard and don’t count him out.

by The Bum

www.dallasrestaurantreviews.com

A small, nondescript storefront in a transitional area where ritzy University Park politely rubs elbows with a faded 1940s commercial strip. The tiny sign next to the front door is not really visible from the street. But then, some of Badovinus’s previous affiliations have been so avantgarde that they didn’t even have a sign. So just look for the orange cones of the valet station on Lover’s Lane. The menu continually evolves, but at the moment, some top draws are the Fried Asparagus with Roasted Lemon & Dill Dressing, the lightlycheesy Rock Shrimp Fritters, and the popular Roasted Green Chile and Jonah Crab Dip (which I haven’t tried). My own favorite is the Bar Harbor Mussels with Cured Chorizo, served in a broth that is the best I’ve ever had. Note that most of the appetizers are large portions, meant to be shared. This is a neighborhood café on steroids— upscaled, New American “comfort food” taken to the max. The Spareribs with Ancho Barbeque Glaze are decadently juicy and easily fall off the bone. The Seared Sea Scallops with Creamy Crabmeat Pearl Couscous are yummy, and the legendary London Broil Flat Iron Steak with Voodoo Peppercorn Sauce is tough to pass. For those counting calories, all I can say is, hey, sometimes you just have to splurge. Prices $17-$30.

Dallas Location 5027 West Lovers Lane 214-350-5027 North Dallas Location 10720 Preston Rd. 214-368-1101 neighborhoodservicesdallas.com

They have an extensive list of very good wines in the $30-$60 range which are sold by both the bottle and the glass. There are many more, higher priced. And the spacious bar at the front door is a plus, considering that Neighborhood Services doesn’t take reservations. The place is busy and the crowd is dressy-casual, sprinkled with see-andbe-seen types. The eclectic décor ranges from slightly edgy to touches of home. Not accepted, and I’m not big on waiting, but here if it takes 20 minutes to get a table, I don’t mind. And if you call them just before you leave, they’ll put your name on the list. There’s a sister restaurant now at Preston and Royal Lane—the NHS Bar & Grill, which has its own equally-good menu with a slightly lighter touch. Check out the Neighborhood Services website for more information. If you want exotic “comfort food” like you’ve never had it before, Neighborhood Services is the place.

Photos Courtesy: The Bum

Chef/owner Nick Badovinus (who launched several restaurants with former partner Tristan Simon) is flying solo now, and the whiz kid of the Knox-Henderson restaurant empire knows what he’s doing.

JOKES

HORRORSCOPES

FUNNIES

Q: What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? A: The Dallas Cowboys!

Q: What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ.” Q: What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring? A: Old. Q: What do the Cowboys and possums have in common? A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! Little Boy Beaten The police found a 6-year-old boy wandering the streets. They offered to take him home. The boy said no because his mother beats him. The police asked about his father. The boy replied, he beats him too. The police asked him “Well, where do you want to live?” The boy replied, “With the Dallas Cowboys because they don’t beat anyone!”

ACROSS: 1. Not before 6. Choral work 11. The genus of macaws 14. Not tight 15. Diminish 16. Leg (slang) 17. Causing intense interest 19. Bother 20. Cyphers 21. Tart citrus fruit 23. Smelling of mold 26. Punctuality 27. Androgenic hormone 31. Different 32. Not right 33. Rodent 36. Move in large numbers 37. Retch 38. Twaddle (British) 39. Blunder 40. Fliers in V’s 41. Give rise to 42. Pre-school 44. Metal shackles 47. Beginning 48. Emcees 49. A dish of greens and tomatoes

53. French for “Friend” 54. Instructive 59. Scarlet 60. Appointed 61. Ancient Roman magistrate 62. Deli loaf 63. Itinerant 64. Old photo color DOWN: 1. As well 2. Enemy 3. 2000 pounds 4. S 5. Atomic pile 6. Domestic 7. Double-reed woodwind 8. Bronzes your skin 9. Estimated time of arrival 10. Producing a strong effect 11. A South American bird 12. A radioactive gas 13. In the midst of 18. Playthings 22. An uncle 23. Almost 40 inches 24. Wedding helper 25. Flower stalk

26. Sound 27. Carry 28. Flannel 29. Delete 30. Vagabond 33. Road 34. A useful or valuable quality 35. Not now 37. Female chickens 38. Thick bituminous liquids 40. A Chinese herb 41. Confections 42. Do-it-yourselfer’s purchase 43. A nanny or billy 44. Small trout-like fish 45. Cozy and comfortable 46. Comment to the audience 49. A covered cistern 50. Cards with just one symbol 51. Gentlewoman 52. Dog biter 55. 24 little hours 56. Lyric poem 57. Bite 58. Famous boxer

18 by Pat Moran

Photos Courtesy: Dani Lurie

“Man on His Throne”

As a sports fan, I’ve always considered myself a level-headed guy. For the past twoand-a-half decades I’ve hitched my wagon to losing teams. Sure, the Cowboys had an amazing run in the nineties, but since then the well has been dry. The Rangers had a couple of decent seasons, but for the most part they were non-factors. Regardless of the records though, I’ve made a point to try and simply enjoy the game no matter what the outcome. It’s easier said than done and it makes for a lot of annoyingly fake “but they fought a good fight” conversations. In the end, I’ve just learned to live with a broken heart and yearn for a winning record. This was supposed to be the year. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll take los-

ing in the World Series over missing the playoffs any time, but that doesn’t make the loss any less devastating. Cliff Lee is still the best pitcher in the game, but that was rough. But the Cowboys... No words can explain what’s wrong with them. It’s like watching Pee Wee football every Sunday. Every week, without fail, expectations get raised and then get slaughtered. I don’t know what to do with myself. The era of passive aggressive fandom has come to an end. If you need me, I’ll be the guy at the end of the bar, drunkenly screaming obscenities at the TV every time Wade Phillips comes onscreen and sobbing whenever anyone mentions “clavicle” and “broken” in the same sentence.

Someone needs to pry Mr. Moran’s face off the bar and give him the good news: no, he will not be terrorized any longer by Wade Phillips’s face on television. Maybe there’s time for a celebratory libation before they call last call.

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