Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

SPORTS NEWS

Let’s Talk About Fight Club

SPORTS NEWS On Deck 3 Must See TV 3 Big 12 Game of the Week 4 Longhorn & Aggies 5 SEC Game of the Week 6 SMU Preview 6 Stars News 7 Bring On The Dolphins! 8 A Roller Coaster of Emotions 8 Cover Story The Liquor Cabinet Bar Therapy 9 Mixed Signals 9 Pour Me 10-11 BARgains 10-11 Blitz babe of the week Michelle 12 Restaurant Review Zeppole 13 Local Entertainment Seven Things In Seven Days 13 Clearly They Were Drunk 14 Movie Review 14 Hollywood Profile 15 Man world 2011 L.A. Auto Show 16 Gadgets 16 The Joystick 16 Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News 17 The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 18 What’s Up with the Gimp? 18 2-Minute Drill 18

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor C. Patterson Food, Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Judy Chamberlain Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photo: Amanda Siska Cover Design: Damien Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

STAFF WRITERS Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, David Goodspeed, Jack E. Jett, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Alex Abboud, Marc Brubaker, James Crawford, Mike Davis, David Fisher, Kent Gilley, Niclas Lindh, Polina Sergeeva, Amanda Siska, James D. Smith, Adam Sowers, Jason Tinder, Aaron Vazquez, Achemar, Corin and Kat, Gio Vanni, Lazellion, Rain0975, SD Dirk, Shutter_Hand, Vanesser III CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joyce Alexander, Ash Lee, Joe Avezzano, Jay Betsill, Cote Bailey, Sonny Capps, Andrew J. Hewett, Keysha Hogan, Johnny Reeves, Tommy Smith, Joe Stumpo

BLITZ Weekly

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By Keysha Hogan @TheKeysha

As I browsed through recent boxing updates the same names kept appearing: Jose Canseco, Michael Lohan, Tonya Harding and Ocotomom. What unspeakable reality show cataclysm has befallen the boxing world?? Desperate times call for desperate measures. So, let’s break all the rules, hope for the best and finally talk about fight club. After watching Pacquiao and Marquez fight for the umpteenth time, the drama of their match-up has passed. Marquez will forever feel robbed, Pacquiao will forever feel vindicated. It’s time for these two to find new dancing partners. The Pacquiao and Mayweather fight is the bout people crave. And in order for U.S. Boxing to maintain it’s place, these guys need to make nice and beat each other up. Steadily creeping on the heels of the boxing establishment are the thunderous footsteps of the UFC. For years I admittedly didn’t take the UFC seriously. I wasn’t prepared to shell out cash for Pay-Per-View so I stayed up late and caught some reruns on FX. After watching the bitter, all-consuming, Mortal Kombat cage matches, I have learned to take them seriously. Very seriously. The UFC is currently in the first year of their 7-year deal with FOX to air matches. Last week the 64-second Dos Santos v. Velasquez fight was the most watched professional fight since Lewis v. Klitschko in 2003. As new stars are born out of the UFC, they stand to gain widespread notoriety that will rival dwindling boxing stars. Both Pacquiao and Mayweather still have the ability to pull big crowds, but they are in the autumn of their careers. Last week the UFC also filed a lawsuit against New York state officials to overturn the ban on live Mixed Martial Arts events. My guess is that the UFC wants big national headline fights at Madison Square Garden. As far as I’m concerned, if there are laws on the books banning your sport, you have instant street cred. With the UFC touting a younger fan base, major network coverage, and a dangerous lawlessness thrill, U.S. Box-

ing is in trouble. Recent rumors are speculating that a Pacquiao v. Mayweather battle will probably take place in the Spring of 2012. No matter the outcome of the fight, there will most certainly be a rematch after one side gets an embarrassing beat down, or a split decision win. If these opponents can summon the excitement, intrigue and that ostentatious vibe that only boxing brings to the table, then U.S. Boxing can buy some time until their new stars emerge. Let’s be honest, just setting a date for that fight would be a small victory for boxing. These camps have already bickered over everything from money to drug testing. Even the hint of impropriety on either side and the event falls through, allowing the UFC the time and space to takeover combat sports completely. These princes of pugilism need to scrap it out as if the sport depended on it, because it just might. U.S. Boxing still has a home on HBO, but if their respective management teams don’t clear the air and set up this fight, we are in for more lesser ranked fights and foolish celebrity boxing. On this current trajectory, the UFC will undoubtedly continue its no holds barred take over and U.S. Boxing will be the old fight club that no one talks about.

MUST SEE TV

Dallas Polo Club

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C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

@KevinHart4real Kevin Hart

I just told a woman Good Morning and she replied...”I’m filled with the Blood of Jesus”...I said “Well Alright” & walked in da bathroom

S av i n g y o u f r o m c a r pa l T H UM B s y m p t o m s !

NCAA: Texas vs. Texas A&M

NCAA: #3 Arkansas vs. #1 LSU

Thur. November 24 – 7:00PM – Kyle Field – ESPN

Fri. November 25 – 1:30PM – Tiger Stadium – CBS

This’ll be the last time these two rivals play each other until at least 2018, maybe sooner in a bowl. A&M will be in the SEC next year and will want to make a statement with their final Big 12 appearance. Texas will want to show A&M the door. Expect hard hits and lots of emotion. Should be epic. Photo Courtesy: Jason Tinder

The Battle for the Golden Boot takes place as a red-hot Arkansas team challenges the #1 team in the country. The series began in 1901 with LSU winning it. The series record is 34 wins for LSU and 20 wins for Arkansas. LSU needs to win this game and the SEC title for a BCS title game appearance. Can the Tigers hold on?

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November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

SPORTS NEWS

BIG XII Game of the Week

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

The final match up between these two storied programs takes place on Thanksgiving night. This will give you plenty of time to take in the Lions/Packers and Cowboys/Dolphins games and about three servings of turducken plus all the fixings. Perhaps even a nap. The match up that was supposed to end in a bang might actually end in a whimper. Neither team is ranked yet both teams are bowl eligible. Neither team will be playing for a conference title yet both teams are playing for bragging rights. These bragging rights will last perhaps a lifetime, so expect both teams to play as if they’re in the national title game.

Texas Longhorns The Texas Longhorns under Mack Brown have already surpassed last year’s win total and will be heading to a bowl game. However the Longhorns are coming off of back-to-back losses for the second time this season. There also appears to be a storm brewing in regards to the quarterback position. David Ash is on pace to complete less than 50% of his passes. He threw two interceptions against Kansas State last week and one against Missouri the week before. Ash does run well when given the opportunity but without the threat of the pass he is easy to contain. Case McCoy hasn’t had the opportunities that Ash has had. Other than his start against UCLA where he performed well, McCoy simply hasn’t done much. Though McCoy doesn’t have much experience, he does seem to give the offense a shot in the arm and some pep. Coach Mack Brown will likely go with Ash since he has more game time experience. The running back corps has been under duress the past few weeks. Senior RB Fozzy Whittaker was lost for the season against Missouri. That same game the Longhorns were without the services of Malcom Brown and Joe Bergeron. Both Brown and Bergeron returned to action against Kansas State, but neither hit pay dirt. Cody Johnson is still a great short distance and goal line back. The receivers for the Longhorns certainly haven’t helped out the situation. Mike Davis hasn’t emerged as the playmaker he’s supposed to be. Jaxon Shipley has missed the past three games but could be back. Marquise Goodwin is a

speedster who hasn’t scored a touchdown this season. The defense has been much improved since last season. Manny Diaz has certainly returned a bit of swagger to this group. Other than the Oklahoma game the defense has kept the Longhorns in the game. The defensive line anchored by ends Jackson Jeffcoat and Alex Okafor has firmed up. The linebackers are a strong unit. The secondary is young and can be exploited, just ask Landry Jones or Brandon Weeden. The kicking game is good to go with Justin Tucker handling punts, field goals and kickoffs. He hasn’t missed an extra point opportunity this season while converting 14 of 16 field goal attempts.

Texas A&M Aggies This is the final Big 12 game for the Aggies before they head off to the SEC. They would have it no other way playing host at Kyle Field. The Aggies have already qualified for a bowl game and with a win over the Longhorns will probably secure a birth in the Alamo Bowl and bragging rights. The Aggies are coming off a 61-7 beat down of Kansas. The Jayhawks scored with 46 seconds left in the game to prevent the shutout. QB Ryan Tannehill is the undisputed leader of this team. He can pass with precision and run with determination. If Tannehill has a weakness it is that he is interception prone when he feels pressure. If the o-line does their job it’ll be a long night for the Longhorn defense. The Aggies might be without RB Cyrus Gray resulting in some chaos in their backfield. Wide receiver Ryan Swope is clearly Tannehills favorite target. Swope already has over 1,000 yards receiving and 11 touchdowns on 78 receptions. He leads the team in all receiving categories. Jeff Fuller and Uzoma Nwachukwu are reliable receivers and provide Tannehill some nice options to work with. The A&M defense leaves a lot to be desired. It’s just as simple as that. While steady along the defensive line and with the linebackers doing their job, it is the secondary that seems to be the Achilles heel of the team. The loss of Von Miller and Michael Hodges has been too much. The kicking game is in pretty good shape. Kicker Randy Bullock has made 51 of 53 extra point attempts and has knocked in 21 of 25 field goal attempts.

Texas vs. Texas A&M Thur. Nov. 24 – 7:00 pm / ESPN Kyle Field

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

By Frank LaCosta flacosta@blitzweekly.com

This year on Thanksgiving night when everyone is recovering from a day of turkey and NFL football two college football teams will meet for the last time. It’ll mark the 118th meeting between the Texas Longhorns and the Texas A&M Aggies. The battlefield is none other than Texas A&M’s Kyle Field at College Station. Traditionally the game has been held on Thanksgiving night. It is the only college football rivalry to battle on the holiday and as such will provide a fitting close to a chapter of tradition in Texas history. A Rivalry is Born The third most-played rivalry in NCAA Football Bowl Subdivision was born on October 19, 1894. The game was held in Austin and Texas won that day, 38-0. Back then the Longhorns were known as the “Varsity” and the Aggies were the “Farmers.” In 1895, the Aggies did not field a team and the two schools did not play each other again until 1898. That game ended up a Longhorn 48-0 victory highlighted by the largest margin of victory by a team in the history of the series. The teams met twice in 1900 with Texas winning both games, the second match up was the first ever game on Thanksgiving Day between the two schools. They would play each other off and on twice a year through 1909. The

two games in 1902 are marked by the first tie between the two schools in the October match up and the first ever win by Texas A&M in the series on Thanksgiving Day of that year. That was also the first time the Aggies had scored any points in the series. Meet Bevo and an Even Series On November 19, 1915 the series was played in College Station for the first time and resulted in a 13-0 A&M victory. Two years later A&M Cadets branded the Texas mascot with the score from the 1915 game. Rumor has it that with a little ingenuity the Texas handlers changed the brand on the mascot to read BEVO by converting the 13 into a B, the dash into an E and branded a V to complete the transformation. However Texas school records show that the mascot was dubbed Bevo the previous year in 1916. The two teams pretty much swapped wins from 1915-1939 with a couple of ties thrown in. It should be noted that Texas A&M in 1939 won 20-0 in College Station which kept them on track for their first and only national title. The Aggies still look back on this day with pride. An Era of Longhorn Dominance In 1941 after years of losing the rivalry game

in College Station (Texas hadn’t won there since 1923) the Texas Longhorn students enlisted the services of Austin psychic Madame Augusta Hipple. Hipple instructed the students to burn red candles to break the losing streak. That year the Longhorns defeated the Aggies in College Station 23-0 thus starting the Hex Rally, which continues to this day. From 1940-1974 the Longhorns won 31 of the 35 games, only losing three match ups and drawing once. Adding insult to injury for the Aggies, the Longhorns reeled off three national titles (1963, 1969, 1970). The lone bright spot for the Aggies was that John David Crow won the Heisman Trophy in 1957. The 1961 game in which Texas won 25-0 was the last time either school has been shut out in the rivalry. Aggies Have Decade of Dominance The Aggies and Longhorns had a seesaw of back-to-back victories starting in 1976 with the Aggies taking the 1976-1977 and 1979-1980 games. Texas had three in a row from 19811983. However the Aggies found themselves dominating the series from 1984-1994. They only lost once (1990) during this time. The 1995 game marked the last time the two teams met as Southwest Conference foes. Texas won 16-6

behind freshman running back Ricky Williams and the victory ended A&M’s 31-game home winning streak. The Big 12 Days In 1996 both teams joined the newly formed Big 12 Conference, a merger of the Big Eight conference and four Texas teams (Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech and Baylor). Other than six consecutive Texas wins from 2000-2005 the series has been evenly matched. The 1999 game is one that will be remembered for the Bonfire Tragedy that took the lives of 12 Aggies and injured 27. The Longhorn Band at Kyle Field played “Amazing Grace” at halftime. It was a uniting moment. The Aggies would win that day 20-16. This year the Thanksgiving Day game will be the last time the two schools face off as rivals in the same conference. Next year Texas A&M will be a part of the Southeastern Conference while Texas will remain in the Big 12. Heading into the game Texas leads the series 75-37-5. The final score of this one will remain the talk of both schools and their respective fan bases for years to come. It’s a sad time as the chapter comes to a close for one of college football’s greatest rivalries.

Part of the fun of college is the bonding, the meeting of minds, the free exchange of ideas, and the entire campus completely and utterly hating one particular school. Thank God for rivalries! So, throw the mascot in the trunk, ex-lax the quarterback and cue up the fight songs. Here are the oldest rivals in Division IA.

Minnesota v Wisconsin 121 games, Began: 1890 Originally starting in 1890, the newest phase of this rivalry is the Paul Bunyan’s Axe starting in 1948. Minnesota leads 59-54-8

Kansas v Missouri 119 games, Began: 1891 The Border War started on Halloween 1891 with the winner now taking home the Lamar Hunt Trophy as of 2007. This title is up for debate depending on which side of the border you’re on with Missouri either leading at 56-54-9 or tied at 55-55-9

Texas v Texas A&M 117 games, Began: 1894 The pursuit of the Lone Star Showdown Trophy has seen many things including the kidnapping of Bevo, but what this rivalry has seen most are great games year after year.

Nebraska v Kansas 116 games, Began: 1892 Besides being the second televised college football game in history Nebraska v. Kansas was also the longest uninterrupted rivalry in college football until this year.

Texas is head bull over here with a record of 7537-5

Nebraska dominates this one at 90-23-3

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November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

SPORTS NEWS

LSU Thanksgiving Menu: “Hogs” Stuff yourself all you want Thursday, but don’t forget about Friday. Once again the SEC West will provide the excitement and next disruption to the BCS Polls. The #1 LSU Tigers play host to #3 Razorbacks of Arkansas on Friday afternoon. Over the last few weeks we’ve seen all the top seeds in the BCS poll revolve or be removed. LSU has convincingly established itself atop the charts by knocking off all-comers. This just wasn’t within the last few weeks, LSU has shown from Week one they can knock off any opponent, ranked or not. Arkansas has been able to run between the

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By Tommy Smith tsmith@blitzweekly.com

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

From Bad to Worse It was not a banner week for June Jones and the SMU Mustangs football team as what once looked like a promising shot at competing for the Conference-USA title has quickly turned sour for the Ponies. After beating Central Florida 38-17 on October 15 and improving to 5-1, the Mustangs have

raindrops without getting too wet, only getting hit once by Alabama. The Hogs have rooted their way right up the charts. The Razorbacks have won three of the last four meetings against LSU. Winning on Friday will not only hand them the Golden Boot trophy but also a shot at a title game. These hopes for Arkansas can only come by way of an LSU defeat. The Hogs only miss-step until now has been the loss they took against Alabama; with everyone else the Razorbacks did what they had to do to get the win. These Hogs, can run the offense with the best of them, can come from behind, or put on the gas when they get out in front, defense is there but nothing to make note of. Can Arkansas score? YES! Can Arkansas score enough against this LSU defense to get the win? Well that’s the question. After watching several top ranked teams take losses, Les Miles held nothing back as LSU made sure of their 11th win by a 49 point margin over Ole Miss. The Tiger’s defense has been solid the entire year, even holding Alabama to only six points in a game that went past regulation. Unlike the Razorbacks, LSU has played a gang of top 10 teams and borrowing the 9 points they posted against Alabama, have shown they can find the end zone at any given time. The Tigers are the Mike Tyson of old in the NCAAF this year by far, just a few more knockouts and the title’s theirs. Full from turkey or not come Friday morning, these Tigers will be feasting on “Wheeeeeyyy Piiiiggg Suuueeeyyy” by Friday evening as they set their sights on the National Title.

lost four of their last five games to put themselves a mere one game over .500 at 6-5. Although the team is bowl eligible for the third season in a row, man to man, the Mustangs would tell you that they have underachieved late in this campaign. What once looked like it would be a crucial game between the Mustangs and the Houston Cougars was reduced to just another assignment on the schedule, due to SMU’s recent failures and the loss of superstar running back Zach Line, who has been ruled out for the remainder of the season with a foot injury. That is really sickening news for Line who had just been named as a finalist for the Doak Walker award, which is presented each year to college football’s best running back. SMU really missed Line Saturday night, as the undefeated Cougars 37-7 demolished them. Houston quarterback Case Keenum threw for 318 yards completing 30 of his 45 pass attempts while scoring both a rushing and a passing touchdown. SMU did not find the end zone until there was just 8:33 remaining in the game, when JJ McDermott hit wide receiver Darius Johnson for a touchdown, and the Mustangs only score against a stout Cougar defense. SMU was held to just 263 yards of total offense as they continue to fail to take advantage of opportunities to score points when they have the chance. SMU will close out the regular season Saturday at Ford Field when they host the 4-7 Rice Owls. This is a game SMU really needs, and should win. Without Line things will not be easy, but a loss Saturday could reek of something worse that may be burning within the program. Some more explanation may be needed come late Saturday afternoon.

#3 Arkansas vs. #1 LSU Fri. Nov. 25 – 1:30pm / CBS Tiger Stadium

Rice vs. SMU SAT. NOV. 26 - 11:00am / FSN Gerald Ford Stadium

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

STARS Stars Extend Losing Streak

The Dallas Stars have hit a wall after an 11-3 start, losing their last 5 games and being outscored 21-4. Mike Ribeiro scored a goal at 6:22 of the third period of a 4-1 loss to the San Jose Sharks on Saturday Night at the AAC for the Star’s first goal in the last 194 minutes, 11 seconds. “We’re in a hole, there’s no question about it, and you can’t just jump out of a hole this deep, you have to kind of dig your way up and dig your way out and I thought we were moving in that direction,” Stars rookie coach Glen Gulutzan said. The Stars are beginning to show their frustration on the ice. Against the Sharks they

were involved in two fights within a span of two seconds early in the second period. First Krys Barch squared off against Jim Vandermeer, and then Erics Nystrom traded punches with Jamie McGinn. After his team lost to the Sharks, Stars Coach Glen Gulutzan said that in his opinion, his team isn’t getting an even break on penalty calls. He also admitted that the problems are compounded when the Stars complain to the referees. “I might sound like a whiny coach and I’ll go out there and say it, but I had some beefs with the officiating when we were 11-3 and now that we’re 11-8, I still have them,” Gulutzan said. “I think those beefs are warranted. We’ve kind of been keeping a log of it. I think we’re on the wrong end of a lot of calls, but I think it’s our fault.” “We whine like little babies throughout the game. … We’re going to change that culture

By Tony Barone tbarone@blitzweekly.com

Upcoming Schedule: 11/23 Kings 7:30 p.m. 11/25 Maple Leafs 7:30 p.m. 11/26 @Coyotes 7:00 p.m. 11/28 @Avalanche 8:00 p.m. 12/1 Senators 7:30 p.m. 12/3 Islanders 7:30 p.m. 12/8 @Sharks 9:30 p.m.

here and we’ve got to do it by zipping our mouths one step at a time. The refs are human and if you whine that much, you’re not going to get the calls.” The Stars did get some good news Friday when Vancouver businessman Tom Gaglardi was announced as their new owner. Gaglardi was at Saturday night’s game against the Sharks and will be introduced at a press conference this week. The Stars, who continue to have the NHL’s worst average home attendance, announced

a crowd of 13,711 against their division rivals from San Jose. The Stars avoided being shut out in threestraight games when Ribeiro scored the lone Stars goal against the Sharks. The last time the Stars were shut out in three-straight games was Jan. 30 to Feb. 4, 1988, when the franchise was in Minnesota. Andrew Raycroft made his fourth start of the season against the Sharks, and his first at home. The Stars had been outshot by 34 shots in the first period of their previous four games, until the Stars out shot the Sharks 14-10 in the opening 20 minutes Saturday night. San Jose then dominated the second period with an 18-7 advantage in shots. It’s much more than a coincidence that Defenseman Alex Goligoski has been sidelined with a broken thumb during the Stars recent skid. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

SPORTS NEWS

COWBOYS

Cowboys 6-4

Forget the Turkey, Bring On the Dolphins!

As rookie kicker Dan Bailey’s 39-yard field goal attempt floated just inside the uprights by the slightest of margins, the Dallas Cowboys defeated the Washington Redskins 27-24 in overtime. It marked the first time in the storied franchise’s history that Dallas has won two overtime games in the same season – the Cowboys defeated the 49ers 27-24 in OT in Week 2. The Cowboys were most likely saved by Redskins head coach Mike Shanahan’s timeout attempt to “ice” Bailey. Had Shanahan simply let things play out, Cowboys starting quarterback/holder Tony Romo was on the verge of signaling for a Dallas timeout. But the Cowboys were without a timeout which would have resulted in a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and brought back visions of Michigan’s Chris Webber’s ill-fated timeout call against North Carolina in the 1993 NCAA title game and Romo’s botched hold in the playoffs against the Seattle Seahawks on January 6, 2007. The Cowboys offense played well; led by Romo completing 23 of 37 passes for 292 yards

By Jay Betsill @thefamousjay and three touchdowns. The Cowboys third straight victory coincided with Romo’s third consecutive game with a 100-plus quarterback rating. Running back DeMarco Murray ran for 73 yards on 25 carries while catching a team-high six passes for 32 yards for the Cowboys. “He (Romo) makes it look easy,” tight end Jason Witten said. “I think it starts with his ability to see it before the snap, and he has a great awareness about him and an ability to make those type of throws.” The annual Thanksgiving Day game is next on the Cowboys agenda. The Miami Dolphins head to Cowboys Stadium in Arlington fresh off a 35-8 thumping of the Buffalo Bills that provided them their third straight victory after opening 0-7. Former Cowboys quarterback Matt Moore, who passed for three touchdowns against the spiraling Bills, leads Miami. Dallas will also have to pay close attention to the Dolphins leader in td receptions, former Cowboys tight end Anthony Fasano. Fasano gives the credit to the Dolphins de-

fense. “Just watching them, I wouldn’t want to be an offense playing against them today,” Fasano said. “They put us in some great positions.” Another major component to the Dolphins recent success has been the play of running back Reggie Bush. Miami acquired bush from the New Orleans Saints for reserve safety Jonathon Amaya. Bush was due about $11.8 million this season, the final year of his Saints contract, but agreed to a two-year $10 million deal with the Dolphins to complete the trade and take the place of former running backs Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown. However, Bush views his quarterback as the key. “He’s a huge difference maker and the reason why we’ve been playing so well these last few weeks,” said Bush, who had 15 carries for 32 yards and a touchdown and four receptions for 34 yards against Buffalo. Most Cowboys fans can instantly recall the Dallas-Miami snow-covered Thanksgiving duel (the coldest regular-season game ever played in

37 for 292 yards and three TDs. He made four huge third down plays by escaping pressure and completing first down or TD throws to different receivers with the biggest being a scrambling 59 yarder to Jason Witten to go ahead 24-17. Witten and Bryant were reliable receivers with Robinson again coming through with a td catch. The running game was tough but they kept plugging. Defensively the Cowboys did a good job of stopping the run but gave up 289 yards and two TDs to Rex Grossman. Grossman isn’t the best quarterback the Cowboys have played but with sporadic pressure Grossman was more than enough to almost pull out a victory. Overtime! Roller Coaster! Washington won the toss and moved to a possible game winner by Gano of 52 yards. He missed and gave the Cowboys hope. Good field position and a key third down play to Bryant set up a winning 39 yarder by Bailey to give him 25 straight. Final 27-24 Cowboys win and they stay in the hunt. The offense is operating pretty well as Romo is playing with great efficiency and getting help from a multitude of players. The defense is playing well overall but has been gashed at some important times of games and must play more consistently. The kicking game is in great hands with McBriar and Bailey, but McBriar must get healthy because he is not his usual self right now. The return game is ridiculously poor. Non-

existent. Until they let Felix Jones return kickoffs and Dez Bryant return punts they will not have a complete team. Miami comes to town and are 3-7. They are not a good team. There is no way the Cowboys can lose to the Dolphins. Oh my gosh, here we go again. A roller coaster!

Upcoming Schedule: 9/11 @ NY Jets 24-27 loss 9/18 @ SF 27-24 win 9/26 Washington 18-16 win 10/2 Detroit 30-34 loss 10/9 Bye 10/16 @ New England 16-20 loss 10/23 St. Louis 34-7 win 10/30 @ Philadelphia 7-34 loss 11/6 Seattle 23-13 win 11/13 Buffalo 44-7 win 11/20 @ Washington 27-24 win 11/24 Miami 3:15pm 12/4 @ Arizona 3:15pm 12/11 NY Giants 7:20pm 12/17 @ Tampa Bay 7:20pm 12/24 Philadelphia 3:15pm 1/1 @ NY Giants Noon

Dallas) in 1993 that saw the Dolphins leave town with a 16-14 victory after Leon Lett’s failed attempt to recover the blocked field goal that should have never been touched. The teams also met on Thanksgiving in 1999, a 20-0 Dallas victory over the Jimmy Johnson-led Dolphins, and in 2003 with Miami beating Bill Parcells’ first Cowboys team, 40-21.

A Roller Coaster of Emotions The Dallas Cowboys were playing a bad Washington Redskins team. There was no way they could lose to them. Throw out the rivalry because it’s not much of one now. Wait, my friend, not so fast! The season is a roller coaster of emotions and situations, both mental and physical that must be dealt with. Remember the low of the Jets and the Lions, and remember the highs of San Francisco and now the Redskins. All teams have the ups and downs and it’s how you deal with it that matters. I felt that if the Cowboys were close at half time that they would have more than they asked for. Amen! The score at the half was 14-10 Washington. How’d it get that way. Remember Washington’s defense has been respectable most of the year and the Cowboys did some good thins and scored 10. The Dallas defense played well the first half. So what happened? The complete breakdown of the kicking game gave Washington the ball on the 32 and 44 yard line of the Cowboys. Short field equals two touchdowns. A 21-yard punt by McBriar and a 31-yard punt return by Brandon Banks and the Cowboys are behind and in a real battle. The second half was a good comeback by the Dallas offense and a less than spectacular performance by the defense. Tony Romo, who in the first half seemed a little off, finished 23-

By Joe Avezzano www.hattricksdallas.com

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Joe Avezzano can be heard Tuesday nights at 7pm on 95.3FM and on all Cowboy postgame shows on 105.3 The Fan. He can be seen on Channel 21 on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm. Join him for great food, sports, music and his TV show on Wednesday nights.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

Bar Therapy By Cote Bailey comments@blitzweekly.com

Somewhere between going to the club, blacking out, and waking up handcuffed to the headboard wearing a Stars goalie mask was your experience with your local bartender. Here are some “Do’s and Don’ts” so that on your way to being a Facebook legend you don’t become ‘that guy’.

To Get Service:

Do Be Patient On a busy night it may take a minute to get to you. Use that time wisely; pop in a breath mint or get to the next level on Angry Birds. Trust me they will get to you as soon as they can. How do I know? Because their tip money is in your pocket, that’s how. Don’t Wave that crispy $10 bill, Yell, or Whistle Out of the six bartenders polled six named these things as surefire ways to get them to hate you for the rest of the night. So unless you want to spend your time wondering why your rum and coke smells like turpentine chill out and wait your turn.

Bar Manners:

Photos Courtesy: David Fisher, Achemar, Gio Vanni

Do Know what you want The bar isn’t a booth at your neighborhood Denny’s meaning that no one wants

Mixed Signals By Cote Bailey comments@blitzweekly.com Guys, be careful before ordering these after-hours elixirs. They may be saying more than “I’m thirsty.”

to keep coming back to you to see if you’ve made up your mind yet. Know what you walked up there for and be ready or risk being skipped over. Don’t Become a bar aficionado We all understand how awesome it is that the true origins of gin reach back to the mid-13th century when Arnold of Villanova, an alchemist, made an aqua vitae flavored with juniper berries, but something tells me the guys behind you waiting to get their Bud Lights don’t care.

Picking Up Girls

Do Be polite and offer to buy the lady a drink Allow your alcohol-inspired chivalry to shine like a knight in uh…well, shining armor. Be nice, no lines like “you must have a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.” And only offer a drink if she seems interested in you, otherwise, you wind up supplying her drinks while some other guy takes her home. Don’t Even think about joking about the roofie-colada Unless your name is Quagmire from Family Guy this is one subject that you should stay 8.6 trillion miles away from when trying to convince some hot girl at the bar that you’re not a psycho. Joking about roofies is as successful as telling her you started your acting career on To Catch A Predator.

Tipping:

Do It…seriously

The Appletini James Bond would judo-chop you to death if he saw you ordering this disgrace of a “tini,” especially in public. As king of the unmanly drinks you are sure to let every lady in the bar know you enjoy Project Runway and highlighting your hair. Shame on me for even knowing what an Appletini is…

Cosmopolitan Order one of these and you’ll find yourself instantly on a “girls night out” hanging with Carrie Bradshaw, the trap from Mannequin and the other two girls from Sex and the City. The Cosmo is the official drink of cougars and lonely guys who dream of being cougars.

Sex on the Beach I love a beverage with a sense of humor and ordering this one will make your bartender pee themselves laughing. You could chase your Sex on the Beach with Night Alone on the Couch. They are easy to make, just pour out all of your pride, mix in the rest of your dignity, and shake until you’re filled with regret.

Jello Shots Bill Cosby would be rolling over in his grave if he were dead. But he is alive and ashamed if that Jello Shot in your hand isn’t for Snooki, Jwoww, or some other brain dead girl from Jersey Shore. Man Law…Thou shalt not drinkith of the Jello Shot or thou shall be a baggith of the douche.

Jolly Rancher Hey bartender - Bourbon neat, Jack and Coke, Gin and Tonic, a Manhattan, and a Jolly Rancher…I’ll let you decide which one of these guys brought a purse. Here’s a good rule of thumb; if your sister drinks it don’t order it. Whiskey Sour Nothing says “I don’t want to get too drunk because when I get home I might wake my mom up” like a whiskey sour. News flash if you ever want her to take you past the “friend zone” stop ordering what she’s having and grow a pair. But she does think it’s cute how your face squeenches up after your first sip.

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November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

Pour Me

Since man first staggered out the cave the night after celebrating the barbeque of a brontosaurus, alcohol has always had a special place in our hearts. Ok, so my history isn’t 100% a beverages that fill our cups, tumblers, and shot glasses when we are in the mood for something a little stronger than Ovaltine our staff of misfits and renegades here at BLITZ have compile about…don’t believe us? Just ask our A.A. sponsors.

Gin

Beefeater, London Dry Gin – The gin that your grandmother warned you about, Beefeater, is inexpensive and damn good. Four out of five of Dr. Drew’s out patients recommend it. Seriously though, it’s a great drink whether you’re at a party in Highland Park or dancing in the Stockyards.

Rum

Don Q, Gran Añejo – a rum that stretches your creativity because it mixes great with almost anything; juices, coke, soda – you name it, you mix it, you drink it. It’s how do you say – Perfecto. A perfect balance of taste and kick.

Tequila

El Viejo Luis Gold – The tropical flavors and bright yellow color are the first things you’ll notice before truly taking in sensation of ‘great googly moogly’ this is some good stuff.

VODKA

Deep Eddy – 10 times distilled and 10 times delicious we were tempted to give Austinmade Deep Eddy the home field advantage, but its quality craftsmanship and taste did the winning in this competition. One seriously good vodka.

Bombay Sapphire – A swankier sip, Bombay is definitely an Uptown drink.

Captain Morgan, Spiced Rum – the cliché go-to, not all that adventurous but it gets the job done.

Herradura, Reposado Tequila – Full-bodied lemon and caramel taste bursting with flavor.

Belvedere – Pinkies out when sipping this higher brand of liquid enjoyment.

Tanqueray No. 10 – With a crisp assertive taste this choice will let your buddies know who’s boss.

Bacardi, Reserva Limitada Rum – $115 a bottle of 10 – 16 year old founder’s blend rum.

Patron, Gran Platinum Silver – The tequila for grown-ups, smoky, unique, sophisticated agave.

Karlsson’s Gold – A meticulously distinctive taste brought about by tradition and daring to be different.

Pampaloni Wood Martini Set My guess is that you’ll be able to shake and stir whatever you want once you pull this bad boy out. Act responsibly…yeah right. Price: $2270 Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Ralph Lauren Art Deco Flask Show all your buddies down at Goody Goody that you’re no run of the mill degenerate - you’ve got class. Once they lay eyes on this vintage 1930’s piece you’ll know exactly why you woke up in the gutter without your flask. Price: $2400

Piet Hein Drink Cooler Chill your beverage in style with this stainless steel ball with a liquid core. Now you can look at your friends like, “silly cavemen you’re still using ice cubes?“ Price: $44

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

By Johnny Reeves comments@blitzweekly.com

Everybody should believe in something — I believe I’ll have another drink. -Anonymous

accurate, but we as human beings have long enjoyed the yields of fermentation. In the spirit of the ed a list of liquor cabinet must haves for any man. And take it from us we know what we’re talking

WHISKEY

John Jameson, Irish Whiskey 18yr – This award winning “Master Selection” spent 18 years in Spanish Oloroso sherry casks. We know what you’re thinking, “What the heck does that mean to me”? It means a taste that you won’t soon forget. It’s a truly superior blend.

BOURBON

Buffalo Trace, Kentucky Straight Bourbon – Ok, those Kentuckians sure know how to make bourbon. From the milling, to the distilling, to the aging all at the round table raised their glass to one bourbon and one bourbon only as their reigning champ. Take a bow.

Balcones, Baby Blue Corn Whiskey – Roasted Hopi blue corn kernels makes this a unique and sweet flavor.

Marker’s 46 – A more complex Maker’s than their signature Mark. We think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the quality.

Jack Daniel’s, Single Barrel – Perhaps a Jack that you haven’t met yet. Experience a fuller, more intense taste.

Jim Beam – A bourbon responsible for more kids than Shaquille O’neal, Jim Beam considers itself “the benchmark sipping bourbon.”

Color LED Light Up Coasters Never lose track of your coaster again! People will say there goes a guy who sure knows how to keep track of his coaster.

Price: $2.99 Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

Blitz babe of the week

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

Restaurant review

Zeppole

at Gaylord Texan Resort and Convention Center

By Judy Chamberlain jchamberlain@blitzweekly.com

The Gaylord Texan is a city within a resort, a sparkling place any time of year - and never more so than at winter holiday time when the whole place is lit up like a Christmas tree. Once you get through the maze of entrances that include various parking lots and convention center locations – this is not necessarily an easy task – and make your way to the hotel’s main entrance, the valet parking and security people are courteous and helpful. Everyone greets you warmly. There are, by the way, lots of “everyones.” Once inside the hotel, there is a lot going on. Adding seasonal staff for the Gaylord must be an enormous task and, quite possibly, a training nightmare. So if they don’t quite get it right, I more than understand. In a perfect world, a woman all by herself who queries the bartender in residence at the watering hole near the front entrance about dining choices within this massive area would not be sent to the sports bar. Nor would a diner approaching the host’s stand at one of the Gaylord’s four restaurants be told that there is a long wait without it also being suggested that seating might be available at the bar. When pressed for alternatives to the wait list, should the hosts condescendingly admit that, “there’s seating at the bar; it’s first come-first-serve.” That’s what they said to me. This is not what I’d expect in the way of polished service, especially in a hotel that charges $25 for valet parking. Evidently, if you spend that same $25 in one of the restaurants, they will gladly validate

your parking for you. That policy might apply to a tab in one of the bars, too. I don’t know for sure and, judging from conversations I’ve had with the front desk, they may not know, either. Whatever they’re doing over there, it must be working. The Gaylord was packed. I was just about to give up, when – having circumvented the “maybe we can just phone it in” trio of hosts outside the entrance to Zeppole, the hotel’s mid-range priced Italian restaurant in an attempt to locate some of that FCFS seating - I was overtaken, in a most delightful way, by a smiling fellow (I later found out that he was John Branch, the restaurant’s Assistant General Manager) who said, “we’ll find you a place to sit.” Seconds later, he had pulled a chair up to a small, unoccupied small table in the bar area. Almost immediately, cutlery and napery appeared, as if by magic. “I will take good care of you,” he said. And he did. Was it because of the first class treatment that the meal I ordered tasted so good? Not for one minute, it wasn’t. After more than twenty years as a restaurant critic (print, radio, TV; you name it), I am perfectly capable of separating service (good and bad) from the caliber of food a place serves. My dinner was a simple one of frutti di mare – seafood - salad, accompanied by generous baskets of house made focaccia bread and followed by a silky cool chocolate semi freddo cake and ice cream dessert. I barely would have qualified to have my parking validated, had I valet parked – which I did not.

That salad was beyond fabulous, with mussels, scallops, shrimp, lobster and perfect Bibb lettuce in a creamy caper dressing. It was so delicious that I have thought of nothing else all week. I must get back there to have that salad again. The service was impeccable. I have no doubt that each and every restaurant at The Gaylord Texan is capable of perfection. If there are a few hiccups along the way, keep in mind that this is a B-I-G place, with lots of moving parts. Gaylord Texan Resort and Convention Center 1501 Gaylord Trail Grapevine, Texas 76051 817-778-1000 texanfeedback@gaylordhotels.com Photos Courtesy: Adam Sowers, Mike Davis, Niclas Lindh, Corin and Kat, Vanesser III, Alex Abboud

WED. 11/23

Turkey Bowling Duke’s Original Roadhouse – Addison Duke’s is hosting their 6th Annual Turkey Bowling tournament. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this tradition YouTube it, because its friggin’ awesome! Start sliding your butterballs at 10pm.

thurs. 11/24

Turkey Bowl OT Tavern – Dallas Spend Turkey Day with the OT Tavern Family. Watch the Cowboys vs. Dolphins game, eat great food at the buffet, enjoy drink specials and have a chance to win some cool prizes too. 11am.

fri. 11/25

Home for the Holidays Bass Performance Hall - Forth Worth Wonder what Santa’s jamming out to on his sleigh? My bet is on the eggnoginspired tunes of the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra. Be prepared to get out of your seat and go dashing thru the snow at 8pm.

sat. 11/26

Texas Tech vs. Baylor Jerryworld – Arlington RGIII and Baylor will take on the Red Raiders in what’s sure to be one for the record books and while you’re there, check out some of the art work at the Jones Mahal…I hear its awesome. 2:30pm.

sun. 11/27

Gingerbread House Class Central Market – E Lovers Ln Dallas Bring the whole family to learn the lost art of gingerbread real estate construction. This will be one tasty evening. Class will most likely be taught by the witch from Hansel & Gretel. $55 1pm.

mon. 11/28

MNF @ MAT McKinney Ave. Tavern – Dallas Partake in the Monday Night Football activities of the MAT and chow down on 49-cent wings and 99-cent sliders. Make sure to wash it all down with $2 Pabst Blue Ribbon. 7:30pm.

tues. 11/29

Open Mic Night The Dirty Rooster – Dallas So you think your ‘One Man Armpit Symphony’ is the hidden jewel of the musical world? C’mon down and showcase your talent. Airborne salad bar following bad performances is free. 9pm.

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November 23 – 29, 14 Local Entertainment

2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

Clearly They Were

Drunk

By Johnny Reeves comments@blitzweekly.com

Blitz takes a look at some of the worst album covers of all time in no particular order.

J.Edgar

Twisted Sister Stay Hungry Where do we even start? Maybe the tassels, perhaps the lipstick, blush and eye shadow, oh no wait I know; let’s start with the gnawing of the cow femur. Yeah that’s normal. Rick James Throwin’ Down Now before you pass judgment on Mr. James remember this is the same guy who was sent to prison for holding a girl captive in his home for three days and burning her with a crack pipe. So, is it really that strange that he used to dress up like a musical Conan? Quim Barreiros Reebi Um Convite It seems ol’ Quim dog is a traditionalist of sorts. Everybody knows there’s only one way to play an accordion…butt naked. Seriously, you have to admit what’s more interesting than an accordion player? A naked accordion player. Dick Black A Taste of Dick Black Er…moving on. Orion Reborn Look! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s a weirdo in a powder blue suit and a Mardi Gras Girls Gone Wild mask! Notice the top button and the “Hey there baby” look on his face. The Wonder Woman pose is priceless.

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BORAT APPROVED

By Joyce Alexander comments@blitzweekly.com

It would have been easy for Director Clint Eastwood to create a biopic of J. Edgar Hoover based on sensational rumors. But he resisted the temptation to portray the controversial FBI Director using old gossip. Instead, he offers us a multi-layered portrait of a controversial American legend. In the film, J. Edgar Hoover comes across as a sexually repressed bureaucrat, who ruthlessly wielded enormous power throughout most of the 20th century. J. Edgar is a skillful but long film. Leonardo DiCaprio convincingly portrays J. Edgar Hoover in his early days as a young hot shot FBI agent. His physical transformation is convincing as we see him change over the period of 50 years into the legendary authoritarian tyrant. The film hop scotches back and forth through pivotal times in Hoover’s life. While it starts off with a bomb blast in 1919, there is very little of the type of “shoot-em-up” action you’d expect from a story about a fabled “G-Man.” This is more than just a simple travelogue through history. It is a story of love, duty and obsession. We see Hoover dedicating his life to pioneering the use of science to help solve crimes. We also see the devotion Hoover has for his mother, chillingly played by Judi Dench. Her domineering personality molds the foundation of Hoover’s repressed personality. We also get a glimpse of Hoover’s complex relationship with Clyde Tolson, a handsome, tall, and elegantly dressed man who was Hoover’s Deputy Director and constant companion. Tolson is played by Armie Hammer who previously appeared in The Social Network as the Winklevoss twins. Less satisfying in this drama is the murky relationship that J. Edgar had with his loyal secretary, Helen Gandy played by Naomi Watts. She was single-handedly responsible for destroying Hoover’s personal and business records after his death but we never really see why she devoted her life to her boss. J. Edgar gives us stark almost solemn glimpses of pivotal 20th century events. At times it feels as if we are looking into the past through a time portal. This feeling of time distortion is created by Cinematographer Tom Stern who has previously worked on other Eastwood films such as Blood Work, Letters From Iwo Jima, and Million Dollar Baby. J. Edgar runs 2 hours and 15 minutes.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

HollywoodProfile with Jason Segel

Kermit, Miss Piggy and the Muppets are taking over everything these days, even our Liquor Cabinet issue! All in celebration and promotion of the new Disney’s The Muppets movie written and executive produced by Jason Segel. Segel plays Gary, a man on vacation with girlfriend Mary and his brother Walter, who happens to be the biggest muppet fan in the world. The trio discovers the nefarious plan of a ruthless oilman to raze Muppet Studios and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. To stage a telethon and raise the $10 million needed to save the studio, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways. Segal talks about his character and his reasons for bringing Muppetmania back to the big screen! Describe your character, Gary. Gary is from Smalltown, USA. He’s very naïve, sweet and innocent, and he’s very much in love with his girlfriend Mary. He’s torn between his brother and growing into a new phase of maturation where it’s time to be with his girlfriend. He’s lived with his brother forever so that is his big struggle.

By Vivian Fullerlove vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com Why did you want to help bring the Muppets back to the big screen? It started when I was a kid—the Muppets were my first comic influence and I was in love with puppetry. I just thought it was an amazing art form. “We ended ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ with a lavish puppet musical and The Jim Henson Company designed the puppets. Something started growing in my belly and we came up with this idea and pitched it to Disney. Disney liked the idea; so, we wrote the script. Our whole goal was to make sure that if we were going to do a new Muppet movie that it live up to the expectations of how everyone feels about the Muppets. Whenever I tell anyone, the response is always two-fold: “Oh my God, that’s awesome.” And then, “You better not mess it up.”

How did you feel about singing and dancing with the Muppets? In the finale of the movie, there are 200 extras, 100 dancers and 50 Muppets. It was very surreal and it happened to take place on my birthday. I walked out from my trailer thinking I was coming to film and everyone sang “Happy Birthday,” including the Muppets. I kept thinking, “I’ve tricked everyone. Somehow I’ve made this weird childhood dream come true.” It was the craziest thing ever. What makes the Muppets so special in your eyes? Modern comedy makes jokes at other people’s expense. The Muppets never make fun of anybody. They’re all about being good and nice and trying to make the world a better place. It’s easy to get a laugh out of making fun of somebody, but the Muppets never relied on that.

What is Disney’s The Muppets about? The movie starts out with me and my brother Walter, whose wildest fantasy is to meet the Muppets. My goal is to take a vacation to L.A. with my girlfriend Mary. So we all come to L.A. and while taking a tour of Muppet Studios, which are now decrepit, we find out that they’re going to be torn down to drill for oil. So we have to find Kermit, reunite the Muppets— who are now disbanded because of professional rivalries—and put on a show to raise enough money to save the studio.

The movie looks absolutely delightful! A wonderful nostalgic return to everyone’s favorite neighborhood with all our fuzzy friends who were there throughout our childhood, but they themselves never grew up in that magical place called Sesame Street! Disney’s The Muppets opens nationwide this week, and the film is rated PG making it safe for the whole family!

ABOUT THE MOVIE The world’s biggest Muppet fan, Walter, his brother Gary (Jason Segel) and Gary’s girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams) discover the monstrous plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to level Muppet Studios and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets’ former stomping grounds. They stage a telethon and raise enough money needed to save the studio. Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways: Fozzie now performs with the Moopets, a casino tribute band called. Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris. Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management, and Gonzo is a high-powered plumbing magnate. The screenplay is written by Jason Segel & Nicholas Stoller, the film is directed by James Bobin.

Disney’s The Muppets hits the big screen Nov. 23, 2011. The film is rated PG by the MPAA. Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

Man world

2011 L.A. Auto Show: Doing It Big Time!

By David Goodspeed dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com

As we all spend a bit of time reflecting on what we are thankful for this time of year I would like to extend my thanks to the automakers who have chosen to keep the spirit of driving alive a little bit longer in the face of horrifically strict upcoming fuel economy standards. The Los Angeles Auto Show that is in full swing right now is an example that horsepower is not extinct and that, at least for a little while longer, we have the option to enjoy factory musclecars. The big news at this year’s show out west is from Chevy and Ford. Beginning at the Bowtie we are entertained with a convertible version of the upcoming ZL1 Camaro supercar boasting 580 supercharged horsepower making this the most powerful Camaro produced (yet). Not to be outdone, the folks over at Ford are making some news for themselves as they announce a bold leap in the horsepower war for Mustang with the next Shelby to arrive with – get this – 650hp. That’s right, 650 ponies under the hood of the new Pony car when they step up to a 5.8-liter engine getting supercharged in Carroll Shelby’s next offering with a top speed of more than 200 mph.

Sure there was other news coming out of LA with a host of TV and motorsports stars in attendance, like Hollywood sweetheart Mila Kunis and the ever-present Jay Leno checking out Jaguar’s premier of the hottest cat in town, the XKS-R convertible. Back at Ford, the next Escape crossover rolled out on its new global chassis and Lincoln showed us its new corporate look on the next MKS sedan and MKT crossover (and limo). General Motors brought more than just the droptop Camaro to LA as they launched the new XTS flagship sedan from Cadillac. In the Buick booth we saw a LaCrosse GL concept and Chevy introduced America to its mini car entry Spark that they are marketing to be the next city car. What? You want to hear some Chrysler buzz? How about the latest Super Bee arriving on the new Charger SRT8 platform and a Yellow Jacket rolling out on the Challenger 392 SRT8? Jeep introduced new Arctic versions of Wrangler and Liberty and Fiat unveiled the performance version 500 Abarth. More? You want more? How about Infiniti rolling out its largest cross-

over in the three-row JX? Or Honda delivering its next CR-V? Honda also held a world debut of the Fit EV model they plan to deliver by next summer. Hyundai held the unveiling of the next Azera that adopts its signature Fluidic Sculpture design language (which translates to “our new look doesn’t suck”). Land Rover has brought updated concepts based on the next-generation Defender series dubbed DC100 and DC100 Sport and Mer-

cedes-Benz rolls out the next AMG model based on its new ML sport ute package, the ML63 boasting a supercharged V-8 cranking out 550hp. Mercedes also showed the new C63 AMG Black Series, Ford delivered ST performance packages on Fiesta and Focus, Infiniti rolled out the IPL G Convertible and Subaru brought its first rear-drive sports car the BRZ Concept-STI. And Nissan fed all attendees at press days from two NV food truck conversions parked on the show floor. Doesn’t seem like much left for the Detroit Auto Show coming in January and who could blame them when you have 70s in Los Angeles in November and BRRRRR in Detroit during its show. Thanks, L.A.

The Difference Between a Man and a Boy is the Price of his Toys! these are for sure to make your want list! Boxee Live TV For anyone thinking of cutting the cord with their cable company, losing out on live broadcasts is often the number one thing holding them back. Boxee Live TV ($50) aims to bridge this gap by connecting the Boxee Box to an HDTV antenna or unencrypted cable connection, giving you access to local broadcast stations, and replacing the typical, boring guide with a friendly show-finding interface that lets you receive recommendations from friends, and even remove channels that you never watch. Price: $50

Mophie Outdoor Juice Pack Plus If you spend a lot of time outdoors, odds are you could use some extra battery power for your iPhone. So why not get it from something that’s designed for away-from-desk use? The Mophie Outdoor Juice Pack Plus ($120) fits the bill, providing up to eight extra hours of talk time or seven hours of Internet use over 3G, and featuring a fittingly-colored orange and green case, as well as included GPS software to make sure you don’t get lost out there. Price: $120

Officially BLITZ Approved – 9.5 out of 10 Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Console: PS3, 360, PC Rating: M Developers: Bethesda Game Studios

Skyrim‘s combat engine is very personal, giving you the options for third person zelda-esque combat or the more realistic first person shooter feel. This sucks you into the game faster than a category five hurricane. The dragon fights are especially entertaining and who doesn’t want to fight a dragon? If dragons aren’t your thing, there are plenty of other story lines to consume countless hours. I found the war between the Empire and the Rebels to be extremely fun. Invasions, espionage, and skullduggery all play a part, making the whole plot feel

By Ash Lee www.almostnerdy.com

At first glance Skyrim can be overwhelming, both in scope and concept. You can go anywhere on the map, do anything, ignore anything, and pretty much guide your character’s destiny however you jolly well please. It does have its share of glitches, but these relatively minor errors don’t detract too much from the overall game experience. In fact, I think that Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is one of the most immersive gaming experiences of the decade.

more real and putting you in the mindset of the warring factions. You could play this game many times and have vastly different experiences with each go. I’m not talking about class differences like the old games used to pass off as ‘a different experience’. I mean real, unique, events and choices. I give this game 9.5 out of 10 for completely immersing you into magnificent world building, and pure unadulterated depth. I highly recommend this game for fantasy lovers, adventure gamers, and people with copious amounts of time on their hands.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

Deteriorated in Her Recliner Kansas City, Missouri, (November 9, 2011) - The Associated Press reported Carol F. Brown, 74, had been literally stuck in her own vinyl recliner for five days. Her son, James Owens, told authorities he only followed his mother’s instructions by leaving her there to die, soaking in urine and feces. Finally, taken to a hospital, maggots were removed from a wound on her ankle, with doctors describing Mrs. Brown as “a rotting corpse.” She died within hours.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 During November, Pisces should avoid turkey and ham and all the fixings. Also avoid pecan and pumpkin pie.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19 Some say that if you didn’t have bad luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all. Tell them to f*ck off…

Aries March 21 – April 19 Your idea for your own TV show, The Cock Whisperer turns out to be a really bad idea since roosters really don’t care what you’re saying.

Aquarius January 20 – February 18 This week try to be careful that your words do not pierce a certain loved one’s heart. Instead, use a really sharp World War II bayonet.

Taurus April 20 – May 20 You’ll be beaten to within an inch of your life when you show up at Walmart on Black Friday wearing nothing but a white sheet and hood.

Too Many Candles for a Cake? November 14, 2011, The Dallas Morning News reported Kwame Kilpatrick moved from a $235,000 house into a $309,950 home, in Grand Prairie, Texas. In 2008, Kilpatrick, then Mayor of Detroit, pleaded guilty to lying during a civil trial, costing the city $8.4 million, and was ordered to repay $1 million. The ex-mayor still owes $860,000 to Detroit, but is making only $160 payments each month. (Meaning: He’ll need to make 5,375 payments, over a period of 447 years, completing his obligation in the year 2458, when he is 488-years-old.) An All Wet Idea October 2010 to September 2011 was the worst, driest drought for that period in Texas history, since record keeping began in 1895. And, while cities across the state enforce strict water rationing, Plano, Texas, workers released 600,000 gallons of stored water onto the streets around its Spring Creek Tank, so they could paint the inside.

Gemini May 21 – June 21 Your date will accuse you of coming to conclusions prematurely on your first date. Note to self: Do not go on first date with a loaded shotgun. Cancer June 22 – July 22 Smile! Things could be worse; you could be a bull-headed Taurus! Leo July 23 – August 22 You should spend less time worrying about your body. It’s not like you can regenerate a pair of arms and legs.

ACROSS: 1. Distinctive flair 5. Operatic solos 10. Money owed 14. Location 15. Dining room furniture 16. Margarine 17. Skidoo 19. Ice cream holder 20. Poetic dusk 21. Licoricelike flavor 22. Canvas shelters 23. Smiled contemptuously 25. Coming and _____ 27. Donkey 28. Relax 31. Burn maliciously 34. High, low and neap 35. Orange pekoe 36. Salt Lake state 37. Fine thread 38. Female chickens 39. Bite 40. Shabby 41. Woman’s undergarment 42. University 44. What we breathe

45. Angler’s basket 46. Implore 50. Extraterrestrial 52. Tropical vine 54. 56 in Roman numerals 55. Backwards “Door” 56. Elephantine 58. Strike heavily 59. Coral island 60. Norse god 61. If not 62. Segments of DNA 63. Depend DOWN: 1. S S S S 2. Flax fabric 3. Redress 4. Not used 5. Makes amends 6. Fanatical 7. Nile bird 8. Supposedly 9. Behold 10. Instructor 11. Stetched 12. Not straight

Virgo August 23 – September 22 Everything will go to hell in a hand basket when you decide to buy a white truck next Wednesday. Libra September 23 – October 22 Since you failed to follow last week’s horrorscope you are directly responsible for the loss of thousands of innocent lives. Scorpio October 23 – November 21 Despite how hard you try to understand the KIA car commercials, you still cannot figure out how they got those rats to drive the car.

13. Foot digits 18. Fen 22. Fastens 24. Every single one 26. Curved molding 28. Panorama 29. Care for 30. Not difficult 31. Bluefin 32. Ear-related 33. Voracious 34. Excite pleasurably 37. Disabled 38. German for “Mister” 40. Adolescent 41. Moon of Saturn 43. Scoop shovel 44. Chronicles 46. American symbol 47. Avoid 48. Utilize 49. Of very poor quality 50. Backside 51. Take it easy 53. Weightlifters pump this 56. Muzzle 57. Craggy peak

Solution on Page 18

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 It’ll be another uneventful Saturday night for you as you organize the remains of your blind date. Be sure to handle with care!

Blitz Funnys

A Fowl Meal A hiker gets lost in the woods Q: How do and spends the next two days you change a wandering around with no blonde’s mind? food. Finally, he spots a bald A: Buy her another eagle on a ledge, hits it with beer. a big rock, and begins eating it raw. Q: What do you A park ranger stumbles on call a fat kid the scene and arrests the hiker with no arms? for killing an endangered speA: Depressed. cies. In court the hiker explains Q: What do that he was on the edge of staryou call a vation and had no choice. 350-pound “Considering the circumstripper? stances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge. “But I A: Broke! have to ask—what did the eagle taste like?” “Well, your honor,” the hiker says, “it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl.”

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November 23 – 29, 2011 VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12

The CLOSER

What’s Up with the Gimp?

Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili Beer Brewed by: Chili Beer Company ABV: 4.20% This brew might be one of the best practical jokes ever! The light colored beer might be confused with a Bud Light or some other cheap brand at first. Not much of a scent, barely any hops present. Initially tastes like a light beer until the burning sting that remains on your palate. Give this brew to your a-hole boss at the company party. Illusione 4/2G Slam Wrapper: Nicaragua Binder: Nicaragua Filler: Nicaragua Strength: Medium This cigar is a great smoke with a pleasant aroma and is constructed wonderfully. The distinctive triple cap helps give this cigar a Cuban-like feel. The fact that it is made in a small-batch quantity guarantees quality and consistency throughout this smoke. Enjoy on a nice afternoon when time permits. White Russian Ingredients: 2 oz Vodka 1 oz Coffee Liqueur Light Cream

“I guess these guys were into the kinky stuff, huh?” So said Dan Harmon (Dylan McDermott) upon seeing what his wife, Vivien (Connie Britton) stumbled across in the attic of their new Los Angeles home known as “Murder House” that the couple, along with their daughter (Taissa Farmiga), moved into in the pilot episode of American Horror Story that premiered on FX in early October. I had no idea the character in the shiny black rubber latex suit the Harmons saw in the attic was called “Rubber Man” until I read the cover story about the show in the October 28, 2011 issue of Entertainment Weekly. Up until that point, the only question I asked myself watching the series every week was “What’s up with the gimp?” I am sure by now most everyone familiar with the psychologically twisted horror drama knows about “Rubber Man.” Even if they haven’t seen the show they might have noticed the TV posters showing a scantily clad and pregnant Connie Britton in black lingerie in a sexy pose who looks like she is about to be ravaged by the man in black who seems to pop out of nowhere like he is on some sort of imaginary sex swing. If this series was the kind of show the entertainment media can’t stop talking about, I could just picture some reporter doing a feature story about how sales in latex rubber fetish gear have jumped at stores specializing in sadomasoch-

Mixing Instructions: Pour vodka and coffee liqueur over ice cubes in an old-fashioned glass. Fill with light cream and serve.

By Joe Stumpo www.darthstumpo.com

istic equipment. It would be similar to how the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has reportedly helped spike sales of nude pantyhose this year thanks to her always being seen in public wearing nylons. I still don’t know what to make of this series. If I were to call it entertaining and feel compelled to buy the season the box set that will no doubt follow in the coming months on Blu-ray, I would feel like I need a shower afterwards. The title lives up to its name reeking of unpleasantness exploring topics that include family dysfunction, infidelity, miscarriages and of course, kinky sex. Then there’s the wild assortment of previous deceased tenants who inhabit the home as ghosts. I don’t know whether to praise the show for the way it cleverly incorporates ideas and even movie soundtracks from several films in the horror/murder/serial killer genre that include The Haunting in Connecticut, Kill Bill: Vol 1, and even The Goonies (there is some deformed adult baby who also apparently resides in the attic who looks like that abused gentle giant character, Sloth, the kids rescued in that 1985 film). Or if I should be a little taken aback by the homosexual undertones and disturbed at how the series creators Ryan Murphy (Glee) and Brad Falchuk use real life tragic events like the 1999 Columbine High School shootings as inspiration for a couple of the paranormal

characters. There is no denying, however, that all these ingredients are the reason American Horror Story has become an unexpected cable network hit. FX has already renewed the show for a second season. The question is: Will I still want to watch after the identity of “Rubber Man” is reportedly revealed in

the November 23 episode. Do I really want to know? This show has gone off in so many paranormal directions since its debut that for all I know, the notion that I will finally learn what is really up with the guy in the shiny black rubber suit could all just be one big tease.

BLITZ salutes the movers, the shakers, the fearless, and the incredible that DFW has to offer. You may not have heard of them yet - but you will.

Name: Dr. Clint Herzog Team: FLOSS Dental Stats: Creating a dentist’s office environment so fun you’ll get cavities just to go. Now open up and say ahh.

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

What is your role at FLOSS? My official title is CEO, but that just means I do whatever it takes to make the wheels spin. That includes helping to transform the lives of our patients by giving them a great dental experience. Transforming the lives of our staff by providing a place where they can grow as a person and the lives of our dentists so that can come in and practice and not have to worry about the business.

look on it and create something new out of something that’s been around. Being on the forefront of being able to change an entire industry, that’s the coolest thing.

What’s the best part about being a dentist? I’d rather answer the question of what’s the best part of being an entrepreneur in dentistry because you can take something that’s been around forever like dentistry; have a totally fresh

Most famous dentist ever? Doc Holiday

Celebrity with the best smile? [Laughing] Chelsea Handler. If you look at her at teeth they match her face and personality. If you know much about the cosmetics of teeth they are not super feminine and neither is she.

What food should guys stay away from on the first date to avoid bad breath? Anything overly sugary and onions, because

onions get in your lungs and people think bad breath comes from the mouth but really it comes from the lungs. Long term bad breath comes from the teeth, short term bad breath comes from the lungs. Guilty pleasure song in your iPod? Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus and a few Bieber songs TV show on your DVR you’re waiting to watch? Modern Family and Criminal Minds 11th Commandment: Don’t connect the dots with partial information. Read the entire interview at www.BlitzWeekly.com

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 12 november 23 – 29, 2011

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