Roadside Secret Santa at it again along NJ highway
BLITZ News Shorts 3 College Football Movies/Movie Review 4 Music: Bob Schneider Returns 5 Stars News 6 Mavs News 7 Cowboys News 8 COVER STORY: College Bowl Preview BCS Playoffs! 9 BCS Bowl Previews 10-11 College Bowl Schedule 11 BLITZ BABE: Ellie 12 Local College Bowl Previews 13 UFC 124 Preview 14 Blitz Toys 15 Blitz Food: Hillstone 16 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: The December Dump 18
An annual Christmas mystery is playing itself out again along a busy New Jersey highway. A secret Santa is once again surreptitiously hanging ornaments from a large pine tree by the side of the Garden State Parkway in the dead of night. A gold star was hanging from the boughs of the tree Tuesday morning. It’s the fourth year in a row that the ornaments have shown up on the same tree in the southbound lanes in a sparsely populated area of Little Egg Harbor Township. No one has come forward and acknowledged decorating the tree. The New Jersey Turnpike Authority, which maintains the road, has said it isn’t responsible. The ornaments appear gradually, starting with one or two and growing to about a dozen by Christmas.
EDITOR Jeff Putnam CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Yu-Ping Chen, Manny Flores, Jacinta Quesada STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Sam Chase, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joe Avezzano, Brian Beard, Jay Betsill, Kris Boudreau, Andrew J. Hewett, Mark Miller, Jonathan Sullivan, Ed Westerman CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com
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QUOTE OF THE WEEK “We had a vision of reaching a BCS bowl, of going to a national championship and a lot of people laughed... We’ve got to that point, we’re crossing that threshold. ” – Gary Patterson
Andrew J. Hewett
www.chewednews.com
STILL LIFE
Nov. 29, 2010, news services from York, Pa., told of Louann Bowers, 33, a mother, and Sinhue Johnson, 45, a father. They were both arrested and charged with five felony counts of child endangerment concerning their five children, ages 2 to 13, who had never been outside their home – even once. (This family of seven also had no heat, no electricity, no running water.)
ONE WHO’LL BE MISSED, ONE WHO WON’T
PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed
Photo Courtesy: Matt Pearce
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VOL. 3 - ISSUE 15
December 8 - 14, 2010 3
After the Party
Your head aches, you’re hungry and your house is littered with sticky plastic cups. Who ya gonna call? Hangover Helpers. Two University of Colorado graduates are marketing a new business by that name in Boulder, home of CU’s main campus. They’ll bring in breakfast burritos and Gatorade the morning after a party – and clean up the mess. The Daily Camera in Boulder reports that Marc Simons started cleaning party houses about a year ago for extra cash and realized he’d found a niche. He teamed up with high school friend Alex Vere-Nicoll and started Hangover Helpers. They’re already getting some calls but expect business to pick up in the spring, Boulder’s prime party season. They charge $15 per roommate.
Pickup in Treetop
Rescue crews had to use ropes and ladders to retrieve a western Pennsylvania woman from her pickup truck after it ran off a road and landed in the treetops about 30 feet above ground in a ravine. Police say they’ll be citing 33-year-old Dana Bowser for driving too fast for conditions on Route 68 near Evans City, about 25 miles north of Pittsburgh. State police say Bowser lost control near a culvert that carries the highway over Connoquenessing Creek. Police say Bowser told them the road was icy. Bowser was found conscious and able to communicate with rescue workers. Most importantly, they say she didn’t panic as they worked to reach her in her precarious perch. She was taken to Butler Memorial Hospital with minor injuries.
From news briefs, Nov. 30, 2010: Lois Speelman, a female senior citizen working part time at a Milwaukee WalMart was attacked by a 37-year-old woman, who lost her temper when Ms. Speelman tried to verify if she’d paid for water bottles inside her cart. Soon after the 37-year-old’s arrest, a bruised and sore Lois Speelman swore she’d be back working at Wal-Mart in 48 hours. Not bad for a working woman born in 1910 who was still defending her work ethic at age 100.
FIVE YEARS WITH A SHOVEL?
Dec. 1, 2010, according to the TimesPicayune from Covington, La., resident David J. LeBlanc Jr., age 22, was arrested for expressing his anger after a 2009 New Orleans Saints loss to the Dallas Cowboys. To show this wrath, young LeBlanc stole a newborn calf, then beat it to death with a shovel at a post-game party, for which a judge later sentenced him to five years in prison.
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4 December 8 - 14, 2010
TOP DOZEN FILMS ABOUT
COLLEGE FOOTBALL 1) EVERYBODY’S ALL-AMERICAN (1988) — Dennis Quaid plays Gavin Grey, the films hero or antihero. Frank Deford, who wrote the book, denies that it was based on a real athlete, though many have associated Grey with Billy Cannon, perhaps because the team portrayed is LSU. 2) HORSE FEATHERS (1932) — A classic film by the Marx Brothers and a witty sendup of the pious relationship between college academics and college football. Greatest moment to some critics: Chico Marx calling signals. 3) JIM THORPE: ALL AMERICAN (1951) —Considered by many the greatest all-around athlete who ever lived, Thorpe’s life came apart when the Olympic athlete college sports star could no longer compete. Burt Lancaster plays Thorpe. 4) KNUTE ROCKNE: ALL AMERICAN (1940) — This is the movie that made the expression “Win one for the Gipper” cling to the Teflon-coated Ronald Reagan. Pat O’Brien played the great coach. The movie is parodied in the much later film, Airplane! 5) NECESSARY ROUGHNESS (1991) — There are lots of reasons to see this one. Metroplex locations, including UNT (and the uniforms are the same colors as UNT); the way the story was inspired by the 1987 “death penalty” handed down to SMU, which had to reconstitute its team from scratch after players and coaches were removed by scandal; cameo appearances by many great football stars of the time and other great athletes. 6) RUDY (1993) — Joe Montana says that a lot of what transpires in this tearjerker is untrue, but that shouldn’t keep you from seeing the movie, especially if you’re a fan of the Fighting Irish. If you dislike them, you might not make it through. The film is
about a walk-on whose grit wins him a place on the team—the first film Notre Dame allowed to be shot on its campus since Knute Rockne: All American. 7) THE BLIND SIDE (2009) — The football in this film rates high on the lists of people who love the game. The story is about former Mississippi tackle Michael Oher’s career in college and on the gridiron, but Sandra Bullock also won an Oscar in it. 8) THE EXPRESS: THE ERNIE DAVIS STORY (2008) — The movie of a story that needed to be told. The 1961 Syracuse player who won the Heisman trophy was the first black athlete to win the Heisman. He was signed by the Washington Redskins but felled by leukemia before he played a single game. 9) THE JUNCTION BOYS (2002) — Tom Berenger as Bear Bryant takes his first Texas A&M team to Junction, Texas for ten days of brutal training camp. Though effective in creating a winning team, his methods would attract lawsuits today. 10) THE PROGRAM (1993) — James Caan is a football coach trying to game the system, Omar Epps a freshman running back, Craig Sheffer a Heisman Trophy candidate. A film about the tough choices of players who are pawns in the system. 11) THE WATERBOY (1998) — Adam Sandler’s transformation from waterboy into ferocious linebacker is what keeps your interest. The Louisiana setting adds interest for those who have lived there or visited. 12) WE ARE MARSHALL (2006) — Though McConaughey has audiences gritting their teeth, the story has built-in audience identification (the rebuilding of Marshall’s football program after nearly all the players died in a plane crash).
by Jonathan Sullivan – www.movietobo.com
FASTER
Faster, directed by George Tillman, Jr., is Dwayne Johnson’s return to the action genre after toiling away for years in subpar Disney films. A return worth waiting for? Well...no. While it’s great to see Johnson once again capping fools instead of wearing a tooth-fairy costume, Faster is torturous; it feels bloated with uninteresting characters and a story that felt like a really lame knock-off of Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill series. Johnson stars as Driver, a man who has been in jail for ten years after a bank robbery went awry. On the day of his release, he sets out on a mission to kill the gang that is responsible for both his prison sentence and the death of his brother. But it’s not that simple because not only have the cops gotten involved (played by Carla Gugino and Billy Bob “oh how the mighty have fallen” Thornton), but he’s also being chased by an egotistical hit man (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) who was hired by one of the gang members. Should be simple enough, but it turns into a mess; a mess that feels like it will never end. The movie takes place over five days, and it feels just as long as you make it through the story. It doesn’t help that
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the characters are flat-out uninteresting. Johnson’s Driver is okay but he’s a generic “man out for revenge” stereotype, and the rest of Faster is populated by onenote characters who don’t add anything to the entertainment. The only interesting character, the hit man Killer (yup, that’s his name), turns out to be absolutely gratuitous by the end. Still, I would have rather seen a movie just about him. If you’re able to dismiss any expectation of a coherent plot, Faster does bring the violence. Driver kills without remorse and the blood flows. The action scenes themselves are well-shot and interesting, but the rest of the movie slows everything down for no good reason. There are tons of mindless action movies that I love, but Faster isn’t one of them: it’s convoluted, has a plot that takes dumb and obvious twists, and wastes the talents of its cast on characters who don’t matter (seriously, poor Billy Bob Thornton). I’m all for Johnson doing more action roles and finally making a run at Jason Statham’s crown as “King of the Mindless Action Flick,” but Faster was not a good way to start. This is a DVD rental at best, and it saddens me to say it.
by Ed Westerman
www.EdWesterman.com
Wed 12/8
Crystal City 1969 Irving Arts Centre – Irving It isn’t often that a theatrical troupe is delivering a message that they might have delivered in real life. In the tradition of Jack Gelber’s Connection, this is social history that is also great theater. Challenging and inspiring.
Thur 12/9 Band of Heathens
Upcoming Texas tour dates: Dec 9th Paramount Theatre, Austin Dec 19th Armadillo Christmas Bazaar, Austin Dec 28th Granada Theater, Dallas Dec 29th Dosey Does Coffee Shop, The Woodlands Dec 30th Gruene Hall, New Braunfels Jan 19th Texas Hall of Fame, Bryan Jan 22nd Cheatham Street Warehouse, San Marcos Jan 28th Old Quarter Acoustic Café, Galveston
Fri 12/10
Featured band for December:
Highlights from the Collection Goss-Michael Foundation Gallery – Dallas The brochure tells of “...a melancholic but also playful way of dealing with loss and the brute reality of human mortality…” So soon after Hallowe’en! YBA stands for Young British Artists. Check them out. STS9 House of Blues – Dallas “We’re not ones for conspiracies but sometimes the truth is stranger than anything we could imagine…” These wigged-out musicians are playing music from their new album, Ad Explorata. No telling where they’ll take you.
Sat 12/11
ally is, the boy’s got mad skillz, and surrounds himself with some funky and talented musicians. That equals a great night of diverse music, no matter the venue. The rest of the crew includes: Conrad Chouchrou: drums, xylophone, vocals, human beat box. The lovely and talented Harmoni Kelly: bass, vocals. Billy Cassis (original and longtime Soulhat member) on guitar, vocals. The multi-talented, and bathrobe-wearing, Oliver Steck on trumpet, accordian, baritone horn, harmonica, vocals, pocket recorder, bass, pennywhistle, keyboards. I think he’s working on the zither and pan flute.
Christmas Costume Contest Zini’s Pizzeria – Deep Ellum Head over to Deep Ellum and participate in the first ever Zini’s Pizzeria Christmas Costume Contest. Contest starts at 9:30pm and winners will be announced at midnight! Prizes for the top three contestants. Call for details.
Sun 12/12
Bob Schneider – Lovely Creatures
2. Ass Knockin’
Bob Schneider – Live Show Album
3. The World Exploded Into Love
Bob Schneider – Lonelyland
4. Capn Kirk
Bob Schneider – I’m Good now
5. Tarantula
Bob Schneider – Lovely Creatures
6. Big Blue Sea
Bob Schneider – Lonelyland
7. Metal & Steel
Bob Schneider – Lonelyland
8. I Fed Your Daughter
Bob Schneider – The Scabs
9. Flowerparts
Bob Schneider – The Californian
9. The Californian
Bob Schneider – The Californian
The Mourners Museum of Art – Dallas A spiritually charged presentation of medieval concepts of death and eternity. These alabaster sculptures are magnificent, their historical context fascinating, and downtown Dallas suitably moribund on Sunday.
Mon 12/13
MUSIC: Bob Schneider 1. 40 Dogs (Like Romeo and Juliet)
Jennifer Perryman The Library Bar – Dallas Jennifer is musically sophisticated and has something to say. A longtime local standout, her voice is at the breakthrough stage, especially her low voice, which is indeed soulful—and memorably conversational.
Tue 12/14
Yeah, yeah… All the chicks dig him. His musical gatherings are a virtual cross-section of the Carnivora - Felifornia - Felidae areas of any municipal zoo. In other words – cubs, pumas, cougars, jaguars and panthers in abundant attendance, and on display. Cunning linguist that he is, he gets to say stuff on stage about women (and have them fervently cheering it on), that regular dudes would be fired, punched, arrested, or at least slapped with a restraining order for saying. Genius. Of course we’re talking about Austin resident, and Texas’s own, Bob Schneider. It’s quite difficult to sum up the Bob Schneider Experience without sounding overly generic. “Eclectic” just seems so worn out. So I go to my resident authority on Bob – Lindsey (name changed) – for the female pointof-view. She predictably swoons, then proceeds in a single breath with one woman’s perspective: “I mean each day my fave song changes, depending on my mood. He has so much stuff, from dirty to funky, happy, feel-good stuff, but some (songs) are so honest you could just cry… I’m just sayin’…” I tend to think it’s natural evolution – artistic maturity and all that. You can only go so far with songs about “eating pu**y.” And even though they are fun to play, and great to hear live, the pendulum eventually swings and forces you to explore the other end of the musical spectrum. Thus we get the great 2009 release Lovely Creatures and its popular single “40 Dogs (Like Romeo and Juliet).” Look at his (award-winning) résumé: The Scabs, Joe Rockhead, and Ugly Americans, not to mention multiple side-projects. Styles? Funk, Hip-hop, country, bluegrass, pop, folk, jazz, and some Latinflavor. So, bottom-line for me person-
Lost Egypt Ft. Worth Museum of Science and History This exhibit of “Ancient Secrets, Modern Science” takes us through the process of mummification as practiced by the world’s greatest gift-wrappers then or since. A perfect break from shopping fatigue. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com
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Photos Courtesy: Ed Westerman
December 8 - 14, 2010 5
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6 December 8 - 14, 2010
STARS News
by Tony Barone
“The Senior Sports Authority”
ExtendING Win Streak to Six The Dallas Stars extended their season-best A major contributor to the Stars winwin streak to six games, allowing them to ning streak has been goaltending. stay on top of the Pacific Division stand- “A lot of it is goaltending,” said Coach ings. The six-game streak is the longest Marc Crawford. “We’d all be remiss if we since Feb 11, 2008 when the Stars won sev- didn’t comment on how good our goaltenden straight. Through 25 games in the season ing has been. At the end of the day, you still the Stars hold a 3-point advantage over the give up chances. We haven’t dramatically Phoenix Coyotes. changed the number of chances that we’ve James Neal scored twice and Kari given up. We have reduced it, though. It is Lehtonen made 27 saves to lift the Dal- part team defense, but a large part of it is las Stars to a 4-1 victory over the Carolina the goalies being on.” Hurricanes on Monday night. Jamie Benn Heading into Saturday’s game the Stars had a goal and an assist while Steve Ott had ranked 4th in the league with a team save the other goal for percentage of the Stars. It was .918. Last season Dallas’s second they were tied for win ever in Ra19th with a .905 leigh, N.C. save percentage. Dallas Stars “Both Andrew backup goalie (Raycroft) and Andrew RayKari (Lehtonen) croft made 37 have played exsaves to hold tremely well for down the NHL’s us this year,” said highest-scoring Crawford. “At offense, Brandon this point, I can’t Segal scored the even rememgo-ahead goal ber a bad game midway through by our goalies. the third period, When they give and the Stars suryou a chance to vived a late scare win every night, to beat the Washyou can’t ask for ington Capitals more than that.” 2-1 on Thursday Last season night. the Stars ranked The Capitals 23rd in the thought they’d league with a tied it with 7.6 goals-against avseconds left on erage of 2.98 per a shot by John game. Through Carlson. Stars de24 games this season fenseman Karlis Sk- Upcoming Schedule: they are 9th in the rastins was tangled 12/8 @ Blackhawks 7:30pm league at 2.58 goals up with Washington’s 12/10 vs Hurricanes allowed per game. 7:30pm Alex Ovechkin. They The Stars aver7:00pm both ended up in the 12/11 @ Coyotes age home attendance 9:30pm crease, and referee 12/13 @ Sharks through 14 games is Dan O’Rourke imofficially 14,358. The mediately disallowed the goal, ruling that actual attendance has been much less, and Ovechkin had interfered with Raycroft. that was highlighted when the league-lead Stephane Robidas scored a power- ing Washington Capitals and Alex Ovechplay goal 3:37 into overtime to lift Dallas kin came to town and it is estimated there to a 4-3 victory over the Minnesota Wild were less than 10,000 people in the stands. on Saturday night. Adam Burish put Dal- A lot of the attendance woes can be attriblas ahead early in the third period, Karlis uted to the perception that the Stars are not Skrastins notched his first goal of the sea- a good team, having lost their most popular son, and Steve Ott scored during a power player ever in Mike Modano. Add to that play for the Stars, 8-0-1 in their last nine at the ownership woes the Stars are facing and home. not having resources to market the team. “I give our guys a great deal of credit,” DFW sports fans need to wake up and realsaid Stars coach Marc Crawford. “They ize this hockey team is a playoff contender dug in tonight and found another level to and show its support. Let’s party like its play at, and those are things you do when 1999! you become a good team.”
December 8 - 14, 2010 7 blitzweekly.com
Crossword Solution
MAVS News
by Geoff Case “NBA Analyst”
hitting on all cylinders The Mavericks supporting cast for Dirk Nowitzki has finally started to figure out how this thing is going to work. Caron Butler and Shawn Marion, both of whom have had their ups and downs with the Mavs, are starting to become reliable outlets on offense and this has resulted in a nine-game winning streak over some well-respected competition. Dallas has beat Oklahoma City, San Antonio, Utah, Miami, and Atlanta in this stretch. Shawn Marion brought his defensive skills to the table when the Mavs signed him but his ability to put the ball in the hoop was something of an adventure. The high-energy Matrix who scared Mavericks fans when he was in Phoenix seemed to go into his shell offensively when he put on the blue and silver. We finally are seeing his turn-around floaters and dive cuts to the rim pay off and it’s taking some major weight off the Nowitzki and Jason Terry scoring load. This is the first time Shawn has ever come off the bench and playing against the opposing team’s back-up forwards is creating major mismatches. The way to look at Marion’s scoring output is just the gravy on the top. Some nights those floaters won’t go in but when they do the Mavs are nearly unstoppable. Caron Butler lost 15 pounds this offseason in an effort to regain some quickness and create more finishes at the rim. Those fewer pounds haven’t really paid off in terms of actual quickness but he has made the effort to get to the basket more and is getting rewarded at the free-throw line. Butler has also recovered his shooting stroke from his Wizards days and is becoming a force the defense has to respect. Caron Butler has to think of himself as a force because Jason Terry is the easiest player on the roster for opposing teams to shut down in the playoffs. He needs to understand that his role is #2 or #3 scorer on this team and he should therefore have the green light (good or bad) to launch his shots. If he can’t fill that role in the regular season the Mavs shouldn’t expect him to do it in the post-season. Caron Butler scoring in double figures in the previous nine of ten games
is a very good sign for Mavs fans hoping he could rekindle his scoring output from previous seasons. The Mavericks appear to like what they’re seeing on the court and aren’t looking to make any major moves before the trade deadline. You really can’t blame them. We are seeing a team playing together on the foundation of defense. They believe they can outscore you and (brace yourselves) shut you down defensively. That is something that couldn’t really have been said of any Nowitzki-led Mavericks team before now.
NBA: Lakers vs. Bulls
Fri. December 10 – 7:00PM – United Center – ESPN The “Zen Master” returns to the house where he gained fame and several NBA titles. The Lakers have experienced a few hiccups lately. It’ll be interesting to see how they deal with a pesky Bulls team that plays physical. Rose, Boozer and Noah will be ready!
College Football: Navy vs. Army
Sat. December 11 – 1:30PM – Lincoln Financial Field – CBS If you miss this game then you should be ashamed of yourself. These two academies have been going at it since 1890. Navy has the edge in the series with 54 wins to 49 by Army with seven ties sprinkled in. Army last won in 2001 and they are poised to win it this year. Be a model citizen, have a cold one and take in the game!
NFL: Eagles vs. Cowboys
Sun. December 12 – 7:20PM – Cowboys Stadium – NBC Michael Vick and Company have been playing quite well. They possess an aggressive offense and Vick is the most dangerous quarterback in the NFL. They were supposed to be rebuilding this year but they must not have gotten the message. Cowboys just beat the banged up Colts and are looking to continue to build on this season’s efforts.
NHL: Penguins vs. Flyers
Tue. December 14 – 6:00PM – Wells Fargo Center – VERSUS It’s the Battle for Pennsylvania when the puck drops. The winner should be atop the Atlantic Division in the Eastern Conference. The Flyers are putting together a nice season while Sidney Crosby and the Penguins are performing as expected. This will be a hockey game worth taking in!
MAVS
blitzweekly.com
8 December 8 - 14, 2010
THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT
by Joe Avezzano
Colts Down, Eagles Next
by Jay Betsill
“The Coach”
As much as coaches and experts like to say we know what is going to happen, games tend to play out different. One week you fall behind 17-0, come back to take the lead, then lose in the end (NO 30-27). The next week you are ahead 17-0, lose the lead and come back in overtime to beat the Colts 38-35. I often quote Jimmy Johnson: “It’s not how many great plays you make, it’s how few bad plays you make.” When Jon Kitna throws for 185 yards and Peyton Manning throws for 365 yards it looks unbalanced. However, Manning threw four interceptions with two returned for TDs. That hasn’t happened since 2001. Plus four in the turnover ratio, game over. The game had many interesting aspects. With Marion Barber hurt we saw Tashard Choice, finally… Who gained 100 yards rushing. In the future, look for more Choice and less Barber. Sean Lee’s production was good to see. His two interceptions were huge in this game. Look for him to get more playing time for Keith Brooking who is fighting injury and age. Jon Kitna is playing really well in place of Tony Romo. If the Cowboys are still winning when Romo is healthy and there are, say, two games left, do you play Romo? With the playoffs out of reach some may say there is no reason to play him. Just pay him his millions and let him sit! I say play him, because that’s what players do when they are healthy – they play. Don’t get ridiculous and think about Romo vs. Kitna. Romo is the guy and the Cowboys are fortunate to have Kitna. The kicking game continues to be a source of frustration. Yes, Buehler’s kickoffs appear to be back on track and he did win the game with his field goal. But there was a holding penalty on Bryant’s 84-yard return and then a horrible missed block by Jessie Holley that resulted in a blocked punt for a TD by the Colts that gave them the lead. Then a fumble on the last kickoff return by McCann that was thankfully recovered by the Cowboys. Too much bad mixed in with the good. “Man On the Inside”
The Dallas Cowboys (4-8) left Indianapolis with their third win in four games under interim head coach Jason Garrett. This time, Dallas rushed for a season-high 217 yards, led by running back Tashard Choice with 100 yards on 19 carries. Dallas was also able to capitalize on four Peyton Manning interceptions for 20 points and caught a huge break when Colts defensive lineman Eric Foster was called for leverage on David Buehler’s go-ahead 28-27 field goal. Dallas got a first-and-goal and Jon Kitna found Jason Witten for a 2-yard TD pass and connected with Roy Williams on the 2-point conversion to make it 35-28. The news was not all rosy for the Cowboys as Manning still managed to throw for 365 yards, including marching down the field at will for the gametying drive that sent the contest into overtime. Also, rookie receiver Dez Bryant was lost for the season with a fractured ankle. Next up for the Cowboys is a Sunday Night Football battle with the Philadelphia Eagles (8-4) at Cowboys Stadium. The NFC East leading Eagles should be fresh as they are coming off a Thursday night victory over the Houston Texans. Michael Vick is continuing his MVP-caliber season as he was 22 of 33 for 302 yards and accounted for three touchdowns in the comeback win at home over Houston. “He (Vick) got knocked around a little bit,” Eagles head coach Andy Reid said. “He got back up and kept going. I loved his energy in the second half. Both sides of the ball, he was firing them up.” Vick’s play is the biggest difference between this edition of the Eagles and the team that Dallas demolished in consecutive weeks last season, including the Cowboys first playoff victory since 1996. Other Philadelphia weapons include wide receivers DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, tight end Brent Celek and running back LeSean McCoy. Three-time Pro Bowl cornerback Asante Samuel’s absence has been hurting the Philadelphia defense. Despite missing two weeks with a knee injury, Samuel still leads the NFL with seven interceptions. This should be an emotional battle as the Eagles return to the venue where their season went up in flames a season ago.
December 8 - 14, 2010 9
(5) Stanford Cardinal vs. (4)Wisconsin Badgers The Stanford Cardinal enter this game with momentum and a sense of confidence. The Badgers too have no worries about confidence. In a low-scoring affair, the Badgers ability to consistently put points on the board supply them with a victory over Stanford. 21-10 Wisconsin Badgers Advance
Ohio State Buckeyes vs. (3)TCU Horned Frogs Terrelle Pryor puts up a crazy performance with his legs because of TCU’s decision to blanket his receivers. The Buckeyes become one-dimensional. TCU forces several three-and-outs. The end result is a field goal from Ross Evans to seal the deal. 33-31 TCU Horned Frogs Advance (6)
TCU Horned Frogs vs. (1)Auburn Tigers The TCU Horned Frogs have just shut down Terrelle Pryor but Newton is a much more dangerous player because he is just as good a passer as a runner. After being shut down for three quarters, Newton eventually finds the holes in the Frogs defense and comes out on top. 34-27 Auburn Tigers Advance (3)
Arkansas Razorbacks vs. (1)Auburn Tigers A rematch from earlier in the season pit the two SEC rivals again. Ryan Mallett keeps the ‘Hogs in the game until a costly interception late in the game seals the deal for Auburn. The fans go wild as Cam leads the band again. 35-27 Auburn Tigers Advance
(8)
Oregon Ducks vs.
(2)
Auburn Tigers
(1)
Auburn receives the ball first and moves down the field scoring a TD. Oregon’s offense sputters out of the gate and Auburn scores another TD. The Ducks answer with a field goal. The second quarter sees Newton take control as he leads a TD drive to extend their lead. The Ducks answer with a pair of TDs before half. The Ducks open the second half with a TD. The Tigers fumble the kickoff and the Ducks score again. With a 10 point deficit Cam rallies the team with a TD drive. The Ducks throw a costly pick-six. With two minutes left the Ducks score a TD to go up 38-35. The Tigers have a nice kickoff return but only manage a field goal. With 45 seconds left the Ducks score the winning TD. Oregon Ducks Win the BCS Playoffs 45-38
Wisconsin Badgers vs. (2)Oregon Ducks The Ducks have just one of the best offenses in the country with top notch speed. The Badgers defense falters and can’t stay in front of their assignments. The Ducks easily maneuver their way around the Badgers. LaMichael James has several good runs. The offense makes some key first downs to run out the clock. 27-17 Oregon Ducks Advance
(4)
Oklahoma Sooners vs. (2)Oregon Ducks Brimming with confidence the Sooners take the field and dominate the first half with time of possession and a double digit lead. Ducks HC Chip Kelly makes some adjustments and the video game offense becomes unstoppable. Sooners can’t keep up despite using their new “Diamond Offense.” 55-38 Oregon Ducks Advance
(7)
blitzweekly.com
by Geoff Case - “Sports Analyst”
blitzweekly.com
10 December 8 - 14, 2010
by Mark Miller - “The Dallasite from the North”
TCU has long wanted to prove it matches up against the elite. Perennial Big Ten Conference power Wisconsin gives the Horned Frogs that chance. While this is TCU’s first Rose Bowl, the Badgers are playing in their seventh, but first since 2000. Both teams feature high-powered offenses, scoring an identical 520 points. While TCU gave up just 11 points per game to Wisconsin’s 20, the Horned Frogs have not faced such a gigantic offensive line. Both are among the nation’s best running teams with the Horned Frogs averaging 261 ground yards to 247 for the Badgers. Ed Wesley led TCU with 1,080 yards while Mat-
thew Tucker gained 719. Wisconsin featured a three-headed ground attack of James White (1,061), John Clay (952) and Montee Ball (881). To keep defenses honest, TCU relies on quarterback Andy Dalton, Wisconsin on Alan Tolzien. Jeremy Kerley was the top Horned Frog receiver with 50 catches and 10 touchdowns. Lance Hendricks led the Badgers with five scores and 39 catches. Defensively, linebacker Tanner Brock led TCU with 97 total tackles. Wisconsin defensive end J.J. Watt was among the nation’s leaders with 21 tackles for loss and seven quarterback sacks.
Jan. 1 – 4PM – ESPN
by Kris Boudreau – “Voice Out West”
The 2010 Tostitos Fiesta Bowl will be the David vs. Goliath of the BSC games. A perennial power – and Fiesta Bowl veteran – the Oklahoma Sooners will be facing off against a FBS newcomer out of the Big East: Connecticut. The Sooners will be the biggest favorites of any BCS game since the 2007 Fiesta Bowl when an up-and-coming Boise State team shocked the country, beating Bob Stoops in one of the greatest football games in history. Oklahoma finished the season with an 11-2 record and another thrilling Big 12 Championship Game victory against Nebraska at Cowboys Stadium. The country’s one-time #1 team’s only blemishes
this year came on the road (as no one has yet figured out how to escape Norman with a win in since 2005) against Missouri and Texas A&M. Landry Jones proved that he is one of the best passers in the country, to go along with Biletnikoff Award finalist (for top receiver) Ryan Broyles. Husky fans tend to be in a basketball mode this time of year but Randy Edsall’s team won a depleted Big East and find themselves in their first BCS game in school history. With losses to Temple, Louisville, and Rutgers you can see why this team is such a big underdog.
Jan. 1 – 7:30PM – ESPN
by Tony Barone - “Senior Sports Authority”
The 77th Annual Allstate Sugar Bowl Football Classic will feature the University of Arkansas in their first meeting with Ohio State University, on Tuesday, Jan. 4, 2011. The game is scheduled to kick off at the Louisiana Superdome at 7:30PM-C and will be televised by ESPN. Arkansas was the first at-large pick of the Allstate Sugar Bowl, selected to replace SEC Champion Auburn, who will play in the BCS National Championship Game. The Razorbacks began the season ranked No. 17 in the nation (AP). They closed the regular season with a win over LSU to jump to No. 8 in the BCS.
The Razorbacks have four wins over ranked teams, second-most in the country. Ohio State was the second atlarge selection for the Allstate Sugar Bowl. After being ranked No. 2 in the preseason AP poll, the Buckeyes posted an 11-1 record and shared the Big Ten Championship this year. The lone loss for Ohio State came at the hands of No. 5 Wisconsin. Since that loss, it has recorded five straight victories by an average margin of 29.6 points to climb to No. 6 in the BCS.
JAN. 4 – 7:30PM – ESPN
by Kris Boudreau – “Voice Out West”
The first Pac-10-ACC matchup in Orange Bowl history will take place Monday, January 3, 2011 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami pitting the Stanford Cardinal against the Virginia Tech Hokies. Virginia Tech earned its way by winning the ACC Coastal Division and beating the Atlantic division Florida State Seminoles in the Dr. Pepper ACC Championship game, while Stanford earned an atlarge bid going 11-1 in the Pac 10. Virginia Tech started the season with high hopes. QB Tyrod Taylor and the rest of the Hokies were coming off a strong 2009 finish in the Peach Bowl and a #10 preseason ranking. Then in early September, Boise State shocked the Hokies at
FedEx Field 33-30, leading to another deflating loss to FCS power James Madison a week later in Blacksburg. However, the Hokies won the rest of their games and are coming into the game as one of the hottest teams in the country, winning 11 straight. The only blemish on the Stanford Cardinal season came on October 3rd in Eugene when they lost 52-31 to Oregon. Andrew Luck, the projected first overall pick (if there is an NFL Draft) and Head Coach Jim Harbaugh account for the fact that the Cardinal are favored to win on January 3rd.
Jan. 3 – 7:30PM – ESPN
December 8 - 14, 2010 11
by Tony Barone - “Senior Sports Authority”
The 13th BCS National Championship will feature Southeastern Conference champion Auburn against Pac-10 champ Oregon on Monday, January 11, 2011. The game is scheduled to kick off at the University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona at 7:30PM-C and will be televised by ESPN. Both teams will be making their first trip to the BCS title game, a rarity for the biggest showdown of the bowl season. The top-ranked Tigers and No. 2 Ducks will bring perfect records and potent offenses to the championship game. Never before have two teams that started the season ranked outside the AP top 10 played for the BCS title. The Ducks began the year ranked 11th in the AP poll, with questions at quarterback after Heisman Trophy hopeful Jeremiah Masoli was kicked off the team. Oregon never missed Masoli as coach Chip Kelly simply plugged Darron Thomas into his fast-paced spread offense and watched his team lead the nation in scoring. The fashion plates of college football, thanks to the ever-changing uniforms provided by alum and Nike founder Phil Knight, Oregon reached No. 1 in the rankings for the first time this season and emphatically replaced USC as the Pac-10’s team to beat with its second straight conference title. The Ducks are averaging 537.5 yards and 49 points per game. LaMichael James, a Heisman Trophy hopeful, leads the nation in rushing in a simple yet breathtaking offense. Kelly, who four years ago was offensive coordinator at New Hampshire, has taken
high-speed football to a new level. In their season-ending, 37-20 victory against Oregon State on Saturday, none of the Ducks’ six scoring drives lasted longer than 2 minutes, 43 seconds. The Ducks will try to become the first Pac-10 team other than USC to finish the season No. 1 in both the AP and coaches’ polls. The Tigers began the year No. 22 in the nation and were breaking in junior college transfer Cam Newton at quarterback. Newton has turned out to be the story of the year on and off the field. He has been peerless as a player, the nation’s top-rated passer and its 15th-best runner. By the time he gets to Arizona, Newton will most likely have the Heisman Trophy to prove it. An NCAA investigation into his recruitment will be following him to Glendale as well. The NCAA determined Newton’s father, Cecil, tried to peddle his son to Mississippi State for cash, but said there was no evidence Cam or Auburn knew about it. Cam denied any wrongdoing after the SEC championship game Saturday. While the NCAA will keep on looking into the pay-to-play scheme, there’s no reason to believe Newton’s status will change between now and the championship game. Like Oregon, Newton and the Tigers like to play fast, too, averaging 498 yards per game and 43 points. The Tigers will try to make it five straight BCS titles for the Southeastern Conference.
BCS Appearances Oregon Ducks – 2 Games – 1 Win – 1 Loss Won – 2002 Fiesta Bowl – def. Colorado Buffaloes 38-16 Lost – 2010 Rose Bowl – lost Ohio State Buckeyes 26-17 Auburn Tigers – 1 Game – 1 Win Won – 2005 Sugar Bowl – def. Virginia Tech Hokies 16-13 Jan. 10 – 7:30PM – ESPN
New Mexico Bowl BYU vs. UTEP – Dec. 18 – 1PM – ESPN uDrove Humanitarian Bowl N. Illinois vs. Fresno St. – Dec. 18 – 4:30PM – ESPN R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl Ohio vs. Troy – Dec. 18 – 8PM – ESPN Beef ‘O’ Brady’s St. Petersburg Bowl So. Miss vs. Louisville – Dec. 21 – 7PM – ESPN MAACO Bowl Las Vegas Utah vs. Boise St. – Dec. 22 – 7PM – ESPN San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl Navy vs. SDSU – Dec. 23 – 7PM – ESPN Sheraton Hawaii Bowl Hawaii vs. Tulsa – Dec. 24 – 7PM – ESPN Little Caesars Bowl Fla Int’l vs. Toledo – Dec. 26 – 7:30PM – ESPN AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl Air Force vs. Ga Tech – Dec. 27 – 4PM – ESPN Champs Sports Bowl W. Virginia vs. NC State – Dec. 28 – 5:30PM – ESPN Insight Bowl Missouri vs. Iowa – Dec. 28 – 9PM – ESPN Military Bowl Pres. By Northrop Grumman E. Carolina vs. Maryland – Dec. 29 – 1:30PM – ESPN Texas Bowl Illinois vs. Baylor – Dec. 29 – 5PM – ESPN Valero Alamo Bowl Oklahoma St. vs. Arizona – Dec. 29 – 8:15PM – ESPN Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl Army vs. SMU – Dec. 30 – 11AM – ESPN New Era Pinstripe Bowl Kansas St. vs. Syracuse – Dec. 30 – 2:20PM – ESPN Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl UNC vs. Tennessee – Dec. 30 – 5:40PM – ESPN Bridgepoint Education Holiday Bowl Nebraska vs. Washington – Dec. 30 – 9PM – ESPN Meineke Car Care Bowl S. Florida vs. Clemson – Dec. 31 – 11AM – ESPN Hyundai Sun Bowl Notre Dame vs. Miami – Dec. 31 – 1PM – CBS AutoZone Liberty Bowl Georgia vs. Central Florida – Dec. 31 – 2:30PM – ESPN Chick-fil-A Bowl S. Carolina vs. Florida St. – Dec. 31 – 6:30PM – ESPN TicketCity Bowl Northwestern vs. Texas Tech – Jan. 1 – 11AM – ESPNU Outback Bowl Florida vs. Penn State – Jan. 1 – Noon – ABC Capital One Bowl Alabama vs. Michigan St. – Jan. 1 – Noon – ESPN Gator Bowl Miss. State vs. Michigan – Jan. 1 – 12:30PM – ESPN2 Rose Bowl Game Presented By VIZIO Wisconsin vs. TCU – Jan. 1 – 4PM – ESPN Tostitos Fiesta Bowl Uconn vs. Oklahoma – Jan. 1 – 7:30PM – ESPN Discover Orange Bowl Stanford vs. Va Tech – Jan 3 – 7:30PM – ESPN Allstate Sugar Bowl Ohio St. vs. Arkansas – Jan. 4 – 7:30PM – ESPN GoDaddy.com Bowl Middle Tennessee vs. Miami (OH) – Jan. 6 – 7PM – ESPN AT&T Cotton Bowl LSU vs. Texas A&M – Jan. 7 – 7PM – FOX BBVA Compass Bowl Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky – Jan. 8 – 11AM – ESPN Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl Nevada vs. BC – Jan. 9 – 8PM – ESPN Tostitos BCS National Championship Game Oregon vs. Auburn – Jan. 10 – 7:30PM - ESPN
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College Bowl Schedule
December 8 - 14, 2010 13
The eighth annual Armed Forces Bowl will be played at Gerald J. Ford Stadium on SMU’s campus. This marks the fourth consecutive year a service academy will be represented. Aside from losses to Notre Dame and Air Force, the Army team has played well—coming within one score of winning the games they lost. They are led by QB Trent Steelman, who is not expected to make many big throws but rather to operate the option running game efficiently. He’s racked up 620 yards on the ground and 11 TDs. The leading rusher on the team is FB Jared Hassin. This season he has rushed for 881 yards and nine
Jan. 1 – 11AM – Cotton Bowl – ESPNU The Texas Bowl is preparing for its fifth game, matching Illinois from the Big Ten against Big 12 representative Baylor. The Fighting Illini come in with a 6-6 record with their lone quality win against a slightly better Penn State squad. Freshman QB Nathan Scheelhaase’s numbers are pedestrian through the air. He’s passed for 1,583 yards and 17 TDs. Against decent defenses he’s prone to throwing interceptions. He can run, as evidenced by his 815 yards for the season. The ground game is primarily handled by RB Mikel Leshoure. A strong back who has churned out 1,513 yards on the ground with 14 TDs, he’ll oc-
TDs and is also a bit of a receiving threat. When Army wants to go down-field, as they sometimes do, they’ll look for WR Davyd Brooks, though the lanky receiver has only 11 receptions on the year. The defense is average, ranked 55th. This is the first bowl game for Army in 14 years. SMU is playing in back-to-back bowl games for the first time since the ’83 and ’84 seasons. With TCU’s stadium under renovation, the Armed Forces Bowl was moved to SMU. Expect lots of Mustang alumni in attendance essentially making this a home game for the team. This has been a good year for the Mustangs—they
won their division and played in the CUSA Championship game. QB Kyle Padron has adapted well to the June Jones offense with 3,526 yards through the air and 29 TDs. The rushing duties are handled by RB Zach Line. The sophomore rushed for 1,391 yards and 10 TDs. This will be WR Aldrick Robinson’s last game as a Mustang. Look for his best performance yet. Across from Robinson will be WR Cole Beasley. He is a nice second read for Padron when needed. The Mustangs can score in bunches on weak defenses. The Mustang defense’s biggest worry will be controlling Army’s running lanes.
The Metroplex is lucky enough to hold three bowl games in the area with the addition of the TicketCity Bowl. This will be the first one and pits two unranked teams when Northwestern and Texas Tech face each other. Both teams won seven games and lost five and both were 3-5 in conference play. Northwestern comes hobbling in off of two consecutive losses with a surprise win over Iowa earlier this season. QB Dan Persa is the field general who missed the final two games. Look for his replacement Evan Watkins to lead the team. Watkins is a freshman who doesn’t have much experience. The hobbled backfield will casionally catch defenses off guard with a reception out of the backfield. Scheelhaase’s go-to receiver is A.J. Jenkins, who leads the team in receptions and yards. On defense they are marginal, ranking 53rd in the country while giving up an average of 24.3 points per game. The Baylor Bears are going bowling for the first time since 1995. Their offense centers around QB Robert Griffin III. He put up pretty good numbers with 3,195 yards passing with 21 TDs. The dual threat QB isn’t afraid to take the ball and run: he’s second on the team with 591 yards and eight TDs. Their featured back
ceivers that the Tigers like to use, Terrance Toliver is the other. The LSU defense is formidable and intimidating. They are ranked ninth nationally and have kept several opposing SEC offenses in check. Les Miles aka The Mad Hatter is a wild card and who knows what tricks he’ll employ. The last time LSU played in the Cotton Bowl was in 2003 when they lost to the Texas Longhorns. The Texas A&M Aggies have righted their ship after a three-game losing streak earlier this season. The Aggies had key wins against OU, Nebraska at home and Texas on the road. After the Kansas game
Dec. 30 – 11AM – Gerald J. Ford Stadium – ESPN
look for Stephen Simmons to carry the load and to have carries shared by Adonis Smith and Arby Fields. The running-backby-committee approach is what they’ll have to rely on. WR Jeremy Ebert is the lone receiver to put up decent numbers this season. For the year he has 919 yards receiving and eight touchdowns. Their defense is mediocre at best. First year Texas Tech Head Coach Tommy Tuberville inherited a Mike Leach three-ring-circus offense and produced the country’s eighth-best passing offense. QB Taylor Potts put up great numbers this season with 3,357 yards passing and 31 TDs.
is Jay Finley. He’s rushed for 1,155 yards and 11 TDs. WR Kendall Wright is the go-to receiver. He’s quietly pulled in 66 receptions for 825 yards and six TDs this season. Baylor’s defense is below average, ranking 83rd nationally. They’ve given up an average of 29.8 points per game – offset by the fact that they’ve faced some potent Big 12 offenses and a TCU team on a BCS mission. The match up between these two teams comes down to Baylor and its ability to execute on offense. RGIII can blow the game wide open on the ground or just blow the game if the o-line has issues.
Head Coach Mike Sherman made a switch at QB from Jerrod Johnson to current QB Ryan Tannehill. The team responded by winning the remaining games on their schedule. Tannehill has delivered more than anyone could have expected from the converted receiver. The team believes in him. RB Cyrus Gray is the featured back and will get the majority of the carries. He’s also a threat out of the backfield. McKinney’s own Jeff Fuller is a possession type of receiver. WR Ryan Swope plays with a lot of heart and will be asked to deliver in clutch situations.
He is deadly accurate and knows the offense well. When the Red Raiders decide to go on the ground look for Baron Batch to deliver. He only had one game over 100 yards rushing this season but gets about 15 touches per game. His counterpart Eric Stephens is more likely to grab a few passes out of the backfield. WR Lyle Leong leads the team in receiving yards with 808 and 17 TDs. WR Detron Lewis has more receptions, but for about the same yardage. The Tech defense, while average, should have no problem with Northwestern on game day.
Dec. 29 – 5PM – Reliant Stadium – ESPN
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Jan. 7 – 7PM – Cowboys Stadium - FOX
The LSU Tigers (AP #11) face the Texas A&M Aggies (AP #18) for the 75th rendition of the Cotton Bowl on primetime. The Tigers have had a pretty good season considering their only two losses are to top 10 opponents Auburn and Arkansas while beating SEC foes Alabama and Florida. On offense they are led by QB Jordan Jefferson. He possesses some wheels and his passing skills are acceptable but not great. Their offensive strength is in the run game behind RB Stevan Ridley. He is a 1,000 yard rusher and has 14 TDs on the year. He’ll get around 20 touches in the game. Rueben Randle is one of the two big re-
by Brian Beard
“Ultimate Fighter”
Jim Miller (18-2-0) vs. Charles “Do Bronx” Oliveira (14-0-0): This could be the fight of the night. We are talking about two cats with no quit in them whatsoever. Oliveira has won his only two UFC fights and has been very impressive. In his 14 victories, only one fight has gone the distance. This motherf*cker finishes fights! This will be his toughest test to date as Miller is no b!tch. In fact, I believe he is one of the better 155ers out there. He has only lost one fight since ’08 and it was to Gray Maynard. This guy is the real deal! Oliveira is a finisher but he will not be here. Jim Miller will win via decision and will hopefully be in contention for a title shot in ’11.
Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve (23-4-0) vs. Sean “Big Sexy” McCorkle (10-0-0):
This fight will be the battle of the giants! Struve is 6’11” and McCorkle is 6’7”. Struve is a young fella at only 22 but he has shown some good signs. He is quite salty with the submissions and can stand and bang with most. McCorkle has only had one fight in the UFC but he will be the fan favorite amongst the Underground dwellers (www. mixedmartialarts.com forum = the Underground). McCorkle is no slouch and is a pretty well-rounded fighter. This fight may have some fireworks but it also has the potential to be quite awkward with both of them being so damn tall. I pick McCorkle by TKO in the second. He will probably throw some sort of shout out to the Underground at some point during his time on camera, so watch closely for it.
Georges “Rush” St. Pierre (20-2-0) vs. Josh “Kos” Koscheck (17-4-0):
Many feel that all of the pressure is on GSP for this fight. In my eyes, Koscheck has all the heat on him. He talked a lot of sh!t to GSP on this season of the Ultimate Fighter, so he has a lot to prove. I am a big fan of Koscheck but must admit, he acted like a big douche on the show. He is simply trying to sell the fight, because to most, this isn’t the greatest headliner for a card. GSP hasn’t really been challenged in a while. Well, he will be on Saturday! Here is how I see it going…..Kos will come out to “This is why I’m Hot” and will catch GSP in the third and TKO him. That’s right, I said it! GSP will still pull major trim wearing his grape smuggler shorts.
Presented By: The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas 817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org
A YEAR OF MANY
Photo Courtesy: Seattle Municipal Archives
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14 December 8 - 14, 2010
by Mark Miller
“The Dallasite from the North”
CHALLENGES
I
’m ready for 2011 to begin as the most challenging year ever for my family nears its end. After 2009, when I lost the best mother-in-law on earth and one of my sisterin-laws learned she had melanoma, we didn’t think 2010 could be much worse. Then I was laid off in February from a job I had loved for nearly 25 years, my sister-in-law’s skin cancer became worse while her husband, my best friend, broke his collarbone in an auto accident. And there was another big challenge when my wife had open heart surgery in August, a stent was placed in September and her kidneys tried to shut down in October. But in the middle of the holiday season, with Thanksgiving still in the rear-view mirror, I’ve had a chance to realize that despite all the seeming misfortune, there are still many reasons to give thanks. The biggest thing is that after a threemonth ordeal, my wife is doing fine. She returned to work Nov. 15 and gets better each day. Mentally, she was ready to return to normal life long before that after being bored silly with daytime television. Physically, she had to be a bit patient. She looks and feels great in large part thanks to the great doctors, nurses and volunteers at Baylor Regional Medical Center at Grapevine. There was Hank in the surgery prep room, Fritz from Caring Hearts and Margie and all the nurses in the Cardiovascular Universal
Bed Unit. Drs. Roughneen, Scherer, Singh, Atluri and Dr. Glaser, our family doctor, have provided the best care. Davonna and the staff in the cardiac rehabilitation program have helped Ann actually enjoy exercising. My brother-in-law is recovering nicely from surgery and his wife seems to be responding well to radiation treatments. While I have yet to find new full-time employment, I’ve been fortunate to pick up some project and temporary work. I’ve met too many people in career networking groups who are far worse off, not earning a penny while facing the loss of their cars, homes or both. Fortunately, that’s not the case with us. We have a great family both here in Texas and elsewhere. We have supportive friends throughout the country. We are fortunate to live in Flower Mound with its excellent school system and easy access to all the goods and services anyone could need. We live in the house of our dreams with the fireplace and swimming pool we never had in Wisconsin. We are surrounded by a close-knit group of great neighbors. I’ve always considered myself to be a positive person and 2010 certainly tested my mettle. But thanks to all that we’ve been through, I believe I’m a better, more educated person ready to take on what’s next. So bring on 2011. I’m thankful it’s nearly here. Happy holidays to all of you.
December 8 - 14, 2010 15 blitzweekly.com
Playboy Cover to Cover Digital Archive
Boast an envy-worthy gentleman’s mag collection without taking up an entire room of your home with the Playboy Cover to Cover Digital Archive. This self-contained collection arrives on a specially-branded aluminum USB hard drive, and lets you browse through every article, illustration, dirty joke, and, yes, boob from 1953 to 2010 without the need to get up from your computer – just like you’re used to doing, right? (Price – $300)
Sony Internet TV BluRay Player
Photo Courtesy: Jacinta Quesada
So, you want to try out Google TV, you need a Blu-ray player, but you aren’t interested in Sony’s Internet TV. If all of these statements apply to you, check out the Sony Internet TV BluRay Player. This all-in-one box sports all the things you need — HDMI in/out, an Intel processor, built-in Wi-Fi, a handheld keypad remote, and automatic updating — for a great Google TV experience, while adding in a 1080p-capable Blu-ray player for those times when the content you want isn’t available from either your cable provider or online. (Price – $400)
Travelers beware. The new TSA regulations will have agents doing more than checking your bags for liquid. Many holiday travelers have reported getting “gate-raped” in security checkpoints at airports all across the country. The first of the culprits are what violated passengers are calling the “Nude-o-scope,” which is the X-Ray scanner that gives TSA agents a peep show of all your junk. If you opt out of that, which many have been doing, then you get a patdown by a friendly agent. My experience of the pat-down made me feel more than violated. This woman felt me up like she was a horny 16-year-old. As she was feeling up my chest and butt she had the audacity to compliment me on my jacket. After that gate-raping I felt like I should at least have gotten drinks and dinner. What I got was a cold bench to sit on so I could put my shoes on and gather myself together. With all this molestation, it was beginning to feel like a plot for a porno movie: Pat Me Down Hard. A job as a TSA agent would be the perfect job for a pervert or porn addict. And agents are not screened for psycho-
Dell Inspiron Duo
While Apple fans are stuck choosing between the magic of the iPad or the impossibly thin curves of the MacBook Air, PC users can get the best of both worlds in the Dell Inspiron Duo. This hybrid netbook/tablet features a flip-around 10.1-inch screen that functions as a normal display in notebook mode, but becomes the touch-friendly basis for Dell’s customized, media-friendly duo-stage software when flipped to the outside. Windows 7 Home Premium, two USB ports, an integrated webcam, and an Intel Atom processor round out the specs, which sit right in between the two aforementioned fruity options. (Price – $550)
logical problems. Apparently, agents would rather grope us and look at our privates on monitors than profile us. Oh, yeah. They are doing that too. So not only do we have to endure racial profiling, but also full-on groping and a strip search. Now the phrase
pat-down can be used in the bedroom: “No, honey. I don’t feel like a pat-down. Can you just come to bed? I’m tired.” Paging Quagmire of Family Guy: “Did somebody say pat-downs? Giggity, giggity, giggity!” Unlike Quagmire, however, many people are not so thrilled with the new regulations. John Tyner of San Diego became an international hero when he threatened a TSA agent while resisting a scan and a pat-down, “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.”
While the new screening methods may be invasive and violating, the bottom line is, if you are going to fly you’re going to have to be subjected to them – unless you’re the Queen of England – so you might as well weather it with a laugh. Next time you’re going through the pat-down, lift your head, roll back your eyes and moan, “Oh, yes! Oh yes! Oh my God!” You could also croon the infamous porno tune, “bom-chica-bow-wow.” Either way, everyone is going to get felt up: your grandmother, your little kids, your service monkey. (Editor’s note—In the TSA guidelines it actually states how a service monkey must be walked through the scanner while the owner holds its furry monkey hand.) Also, gate-rape tales can make great conversation at the airport bar or with your fellow passengers in the window seat next to you. But as I consider the controversy over the new TSA regulations, I can’t help but think how cool it would be to have a service monkey just so I could say, “Do you want to pet my service monkey?”
Hillstone 8300 A Preston Rd (at NW Hwy, SE corner)
Dallas 75225 214-691-8991
Hours: Mon-Thu 11-10 Fri-Sat 11-11 Sun 10:30-10 by Tony Barone
If it looks like a Houston’s…
After a recent Saturday holiday shopping trip to University Park, our palate deserved a splurge that did not involve turkey, dressing, or yams. Since we were already cruising down Preston heading north towards Northwest Highway what better place than Houston’s to satisfy our cravings. As we pulled up to the curb we were slightly confused to see Hillstone on the front of the building at 8300 Preston (more about that later…), but upon entering the restaurant it was apparent we had arrived at Houston’s. Hillstone is a casual upscale restaurant with a Southwestern décor. The beamed ceilings support drop-down lighting for each table with Austin stone on the walls. The tables are butcher block and the restaurant is smartly decorated, highlighted by a large replica of the Titanic prominently displayed in the main dining area. On this particular visit, the lively crowd appeared to be mostly locals with a smattering of out-of-towners who were lucky enough to find this place after an away game at SMU. The bar, which is featured as you enter the restaurant, has TVs to help you catch up on your favorite sporting event. The bartenders pour topshelf drinks and roll out white tablecloths if you want to dine at the bar. The menu is all about beef, which is hand-selected. The Center-Cut Filet is the most expensive cut at a very reasonable $34, but do not overlook the Hawaiian Rib-Eye which is marinated and grilled over hickory, as are all the other entrées. The Famous French Dip lives up to its name, featuring roasted prime rib thinly sliced and piled on a warm, tender French roll. The jus is “ah, just perfect!” Not in the mood for beef? No problem! There are plenty of seafood entrées which are flown in daily. On this particular day the
specials included redfish, halibut, and tuna. Specialty salads are abundant on the menu, including a Thai Steak and Noodle Salad, featuring marinated beef filet with avocado, mango and herbs in a Thai dressing. And if barbeque suits your mood, Hillstone’s pork ribs are slowcooked and fall-off-the-bone good. The starters on the menu are tempting and include a Chicago-style Spinach Dip which should not be missed. The soup calendar changes by the day and includes an awesome Firehouse Chili. All the sides were well-prepared. The wilted spinach was prepared in E.V.O.O. and topped with parmesan cheese. Other choices include the usual fries, baked potato and coleslaw and the not so usual couscous. A perfect ending to this meal was a smoothas-silk piece of Key Lime Pie. Made from an egg custard it was the perfect blend of tart and sweet and was served over a cracker crust topped with whipped cream. All Hillstone desserts are made in-house. The service at Hillstone deserves special mention. All Hillstone waiters and waitresses are extremely professional, courteous and knowledgeable. Our server on this occasion had only been working at Hillstone for two weeks, but given the training she had received you would never have guessed it. It was seamless service, to say the least. As for the restaurant’s name, we were informed during our visit that several of the flagship Houston’s had recently undergone a name change to Hillstone, which is a tribute to its parent company and is also the name of a hillside vineyard in the Napa Valley. As long as the menu and service remains the same, we are comfortable with whatever the powers that be want to name it… This is steak and seafood at its best!
Photos Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen
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16 December 8 - 14, 2010
HORRORSCOPES
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
A once-familiar presence will creep back into your life. It could be a bookie, a Girl Scout, or the cold, cruel hand of Death...
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
You’ll be surrounded by puppies and candy and the love of the truly blessed. Oh wait, that’s some other sign. You will wait for the bus in the freezing cold and get robbed.
FUNNIES
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Q: What do redheads and razor-wire have in common? A: Handle both with care.
Don’t be paranoid this week, but I’ve heard that your friends are going out of their way to avoid you. Maybe it’s because you’re a melodramatic, emotional bulimic?
Q: How do you kill a lawyer when he’s drinking? A: Slam the toilet seat on his head. Q: What’s the definition of optimism? A: An investment banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening. Q: Why can’t women go in the living room? A: The chain isn’t long enough. The Ladies Room One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his member out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, “This is for ladies!” she screamed. The drunk waved his member at her and said “So is this!”
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JOKES
December 8 - 14, 2010 17
Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20)
ACROSS: 1. The basic unit of money in Libya 6. Impact sound 11. Cut the grass 14. Bad treatment 15. Keyboard instrument 16. Prefix meaning “Above” 17. A seller of cigars and pipes 19. Can 20. Cowboy movie 21. Fastening with laces 23. Incite 26. Stops 27. Violent storm 31. Clues 32. Accumulate 33. Crowd 36. Circle fragments 37. Stop (nautical) 38. A rounded projection 39. Greatest possible 40. Refine, as metal 41. Helped 42. The state of being pain-free 44. Conniving 47. What a book is called
48. Stockpile 49. Colorado resort 53. Motel 54. Untarnished 59. Holiday drink 60. Statesman 61. Bing, bang or boom 62. Before 63. A bird sound 64. S S S S DOWN: 1. Information 2. Nigerian tribesman 3. Essence 4. A painkiller (abbrev.) 5. Phonograph albums 6. Blemish 7. A coniferous tree 8. Den 9. Autonomic Nervous System 10. Walks unsteadily 11. Mixed-blood 12. Express a thought 13. Birds have them 18. A birthday dessert 22. Sweet potato 23. A garment of the torso
24. A quick blow 25. Picnic insects 26. Price 27. Comparative word 28. Black bird 29. Tiny 30. Flavor 33. She likes to pose 34. Overweight 35. What we sleep in 37. In the center of 38. Fluff from a dryer 40. Fine particles of wood 41. Devoid of intelligence 42. Apiece 43. Flower stalk 44. Gleam 45. Respect 46. Cooktop 49. Competent 50. Gin flavor 51. Confined 52. Lyric poems 55. At present 56. Mayday 57. Not hers 58. East southeast
Start laying all your fears and anxieties on someone you meet on a DART bus. You’ll get some great advice – or have the seat all to yourself. Either way - score!
Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19)
You’re surrounded by blowhards and wannabes and no one can see your true potential. Just remember to ask if they want fries with that…
Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20)
It takes a strong person to admit when they’re wrong. And it takes an even stronger person to go up to that person and beat the sh!t out of him until he admits that he’s wrong.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 21)
The duality of your nature is not unlike Angel’s. No, not the sexy-but-benevolent TV vampire who hunts down evil on the mean streets of Los Angeles. You’re more like the straight-A-student-byday, Hollywood-hooker-by-night Angel.
Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22)
You’ll begin twisting your hair into a mop of Meg Ryan curls, make sickeningly cute faces, and pop loads of Valium.
Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22)
Your bank will misplace all the $400 unemployment checks you deposit. This will lead to at least $500 in late and overdraft fees. Sucks to be you!
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
You’ll drink your Wild Turkey and stick your head in the oven. Too bad it’s electric.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
On Saturday you’ll start to notice that the skin on your back and a$$ has been breaking out much more than usual. It’s a zit city gross-out.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
This weekend you will descend into a cleaning fervor, during which you will discover the evidence acquitting your aunt of killing everyone in her apartment complex.
blitzweekly.com
18 December 8 - 14, 2010 by Pat Moran
“Man on his Throne”
THE DECEMBER DUMP If I’ve learned anything in my nearly three decades of life it’s this: if you are going to break up with your girlfriend, make sure that you do it before Christmas. It took me years to figure this out. When you look at it, it’s pretty obvious. Why spend a ton of money and energy trying to figure out what to get her when you are going to end up single right after New Year’s Day? Would you invest in a company that you knew was going bankrupt? The holidays are supposed to be a sentiment-inducing celebration, not a prison sentence. You shouldn’t have to grit your teeth while you spend Christmas with someone you don’t like. I mean, you can’t choose your family but you can always choose who you date. Look, nobody wants to be an a$$hole. Break-ups suck. It’s not about getting out of giving presents, it’s just that you are guaranteed to regret having spent so much money on a soon-to-be ex. It always happens. Think back to every present you have ever bought a girlfriend, from high school to now. Think of all those bracelets, necklaces, earrings, perfumes, books, iPods, computers, appliances, concert tickets, clothes, CDs, and all the other crap that you’ve bought ev-
ery December. Now add those price tags up. It’s pretty ridiculous, isn’t it? That’s why I say that if you are going to break up with her, do it now. Don’t wait until after Christmas. I call it the “December Dump” and it has saved me an incredible amount of money. Trust me, it’s worth it. Plus, you will save enough money to drown your leftover sorrows in buckets of whiskey.