Blitz Weekly by Blitz Weekly

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

SPORTS NEWS

Exit Through the Gift Shop

Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor C. Patterson Graphic Designer: Damien William Mayfield Food, Entertainment and Lifestyle Editor Judy Chamberlain Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Cover Photography: K&R Imaging Cover Model: Sasha Alexandra STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS John Breen, Gregg Case, Steven Hendrix, Rick Leal, Kevin Jacobson, Joe Lorenzini, Chuck Majors

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl Gift suite, Kenneth Cole watch, cap, and Ogio Convoy backpack. Designer watches and backpacks are going to be a big hit around campus. But the real prize is going to be the ridiculously delicious queso that comes in a Tostitos gift suite. Both Stanford and Oklahoma State will be able to break the ice over cheesy melty goodness.

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STAFF WRITERS Hannah Allen, Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, David Goodspeed, Jack E. Jett, Frank LaCosta, Mark Miller, Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Jeffrey Beall, Danny Bollinger, Thomas Bower, Mika Bradford, Nopphan Bunnag, Jennifer Conley, David Goodspeed, Craig Hall, Wendy House, Stefan Kloo, Brandi Korte, Eric Leuthardt, Peiyu Liu, Joe Lustri, Rob Marquardt, Matt Pearce, Jed Ramos, Kat Selvocki, Martin Sharman, James D. Smith, Donkey Hotey, Dumpingpixels, mp3waxx, Photo Bunny, OPUS, Petar S, VMR CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Joyce Alexander, Ashley Anderson, Joe Avezzano, Brian Beard, Jay Betsill, Mika Bradford, Sonny Capps, Andrew J. Hewett, Keysha Hogan, Mateeka Lanee, Tommy Smith, Joe Stumpo

BLITZ Weekly

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For years the NCAA has fought the battle against “improper benefits,” such as cash and big-ticket items luring players to a certain university. Remember the scandalous Nick Nolte, in the film Blue Chips? He was willing to burn his ethics card to recruit a giant baby faced Shaq onto his team. These days, the BCS bowls are the holiday exception to the normal standard operating procedures. The rules are waived causing the usual confusion that follows the BCS system, but this time its all in the name of good cheer. According to the Sports Business Journal Daily here are a few of the gifts players can look forward to: Hyundai Sun Bowl Gift suite, Timely Watch Co. watch, Majestic Pro-Base fleece pullover, VP Sports cap, Ogio Politan backpack, Helen of Troy hair dryer, and souvenir coin. Clothes and backpacks aside, are they really giving out a fancy hair dryer? I’m not aware of any Polamalu types on the Georgia Tech or Utah teams, but at least there will be some happy girlfriends, sisters and moms. Belk Bowl Estimated $400 shopping trip to Belk’s flagship store in Charlotte and a Fossil watch. Everything sold at Belk can double as church clothes. This bowl gift is like opening a glittery box of plain white tees.

Military Bowl presented by Northrop Grumman Amazon Kindle Fire, Apple iPod nano, Deuce watch, LunaTik wristband (to hold iPod), beanie, and a Nike backpack. Since both houses of Congress regularly take our government to the brink of shut down, it’s good to see they were able to approve a bit of extraneous spending. Chick-fil-A Bowl $250 Best Buy gift card, Fossil watch, Russell Athletic ski cap, Russell Athletic travel bag, $15 Chick-fil-A gift card, and a commemorative football. $15 to Chick-Fil-A at their own bowl game?! It should be raining nuggets and strips all over the place. These young college players deserve tubs of Polynesian sauce and honey mustard as far as the eye can see. Maybe I’m just a bit jealous. IPods, hair dryers and chicken nugget parties all sound amazing. And honestly, who couldn’t use another set of church clothes? This year we’ve seen people struggle to find jobs and keep roofs over their heads. Natural disasters around the world have kept us glued to the TV as they fight to rebuild. I’m sure we could all use a little gift suite swag as we exit 2011 and enter the New Year. This holiday I would be remiss if I didn’t encourage each of you to do at least one unwarranted extremely kind gesture for someone in your area. Donate a toy, a blanket, or invite someone lonely over to watch the game. Thanks for reading, have a great new year and we’ll see you in 2012!

MUST SEE TV NFL: Eagles vs. Cowboys

Sat. December 24 – 3:15PM – Cowboys Stadium – FOX

Each game is a “Must Win” game for the Cowboys. The Eagles come to town with a chance to play spoiler. Michael Vick and his “Dream Team” aren’t likely to make it to the playoffs but still possess a powerful offense that can put up points. Will the Cowboys receive an early Christmas present? We’ll see!

Dallas Polo Club

L E A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG

C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1

@funnyordie Funny Or Die

Sometimes the amount of beer you’re spilling lets you know you’re no longer qualified to be drinking one.

S av i n g y o u f r o m c a r pa l T H UM B s y m p t o m s ! Photo Courtesy: Matt Pearce

SPORTS NEWS On Deck Must See TV Compression Sportswear UFC 141 Preview Cowboys Control Own Destiny They All Count TicketCity Bowl Preview Armed Forced Bowl Preview Stars News Mavericks Season Preview Cover Story New Year’s Eve Guide Ball Droppin’ High Resolutions 2011 Year In Review Blitz babe of the week Amy Restaurant Review Tools Of The Trade BLITZ Entertainment Seven Things In Seven Days Hollywood Profile Movie Review 2012 GMC Sierra 2500 HD Gadgets Joystick The Holidaze Hip Hop Holiday Trax Five Albums of 2011 Blitz Funnys Jokes/Horrorscopes/Weird News The CLOSER Weekend Relaxer 2011’s Biggest Winners 2-Minute Drill

By Keysha Hogan @TheKeysha

NBA: Heat vs. Mavericks

Sun. December 25 – 1:30PM – American Airlines Center – ABC

The game we’ve all been waiting for – it’s the start of the new season for the defending NBA Champions. Hosting the Heat will renew the battle from last season’s NBA Finals and serve plenty of reminders of “The Heatles” meltdown. New faces in new places. See how Odom and the Kardashians fit in! Oh and the Mavericks will raise a new banner…

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

UFC 141 Friday – Dec. 30 – 9PM

Watch it at:

UFC 141 Preview

By Brian Beard comments@blitzweekly.com Brock Lesnar (5-2-0) vs. Alistair “The Reem” Overeem (35-11-1): Can I please get a piss test here? Lesnar may pee clean but there is no way in hell Overeem can! That is unless he beats the system. This guy is built like a statue and is a monster. Lesnar is a very, very good wrestler and is incredibly strong. I know it may not look like it, but Lesnar should be the stronger fighter. Unfortunately for him, that doesn’t always matter.

Increasing Performance and Endurance with Compression Sportswear In years past, compression sportswear was primarily used to support an athlete’s recovery efforts by increasing circulation to various parts of the body. As time has passed and more scientific studies have emerged, compression sportswear has been shown to be extremely beneficial to athletes during athletic performance as well as for recovery. Compression sportswear is now available in many different forms of clothing apparel. The most popular form of compression clothing is socks and sleeves. Compression socks are now made specifically to meet the individual needs of Triathletes, Runners, Football, Soccer and Baseball players as well as Biking, Outdoor and Skiing enthusiast. Other types of compression garments include, shorts, pants, recovery pants and arm sleeves. Whether you’re constantly on the run or simply want to provide better support to your body during working out, compression sportswear has a lot to offer you. Compression sportswear works by providing a specific amount of pressure per surface area that has been shown to relax the arteries that then results in increased blood flow and circulation to the part of the body that is wearing compression clothing. It is because of this that so many people, including athletes are wearing some form of compression sportswear. The compression support begins at the ankle and is graduated which means that it slightly loosens up the higher you go up toward the knee. One company who is leading the way in scientific studies of compression

By Mika Bradford CM, CPhT www.rattleandhumsports.com

sportswear is CEP. The difference between a sleeve and a sock is that the socks have an attached foot and the sleeve does not. CEP has provided the first and only scientifically proven compression sport sock. These compression sports socks are the result of compression technology emerging from the medical background of medi-usa. Medi-usa has produced compression socks/garments for people with various leg health conditions since 1951. The concept of compression socks for runners and other athletes has been taken to the next level. Compression socks are used by most athletes unless their sport requires special consideration like triathletes have. Triathletes typically wear a sleeve in and out of the water regardless of the terrain. The sleeve allows the foot to be free and maintain proper footing while bare foot in various activities. The sock and sleeve provide the same amount of compression support since the compression begins at the ankle. Increases in an athlete’s performance by up to 5% have been seen consistently along with a drastic reduction in recovery time and increase in lactic acid metabolization. What this means to an athlete or weekend warrior is better circulation, an increased return of blood flow to the heart that also leads to more oxygen rich blood to the tissue. These changes can directly reduce the occurrence of shin splints, calf cramps and overall fatigue. So if you’re looking to get a leg up on the competition consider giving compression sportswear a try.

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If “The Reem” connects with a big shot, it is over. C*ck Chestner (see tattoo) will look to take him down quickly and beat the brakes off of him. Overeem is much more experienced and I just don’t see that happening to him. He is going to TKO Lesnar in the first round and this will be the last we see from Brock. Sorry WWE fans. Nate Diaz (14-7-0) vs. Donald “Cowboy” Cerrone (17-3-0): If you read my columns enough, you will know that I am an unapologetic Diaz fan! Be it Nate or Nick, you can guarantee a fight! Nate has an attitude and definitely likes to talk sh!t in the cage but hey, he backs it up. He ain’t no b!tch! Cowboy Cerrone will not be the cat to be intimidated by the trash talk. He is an incredibly talented fighter that has a killer instinct. This fight will not last three rounds, I promise. As much as I love Diaz (no homo), he will be destroyed here. Cerrone is an absolute beast. Incredibly explosive and an excellent striker. I believe Diaz is a bit better in the submission

game, but not by much. Cerrone is just too explosive and athletic. Cowboy by submission, third round. Jon Fitch (26-3-1) vs. Johny Hendricks (11-1-0): If very high caliber wrestling is your thing, don’t miss this fight! Both fighters were good Division 1 wrestlers at very good programs, but Hendricks has the advantage here. He is a 2x NCAA Division 1 National Champion. He will not be out wrestled. Fitch is known for making fights ugly and tends to favor leaving fights in the judges hands. His last nine, yes nine, fights have gone to a decision. He is good at playing his game and controlling the wrestling and grinding opponents to decision wins. GSP is his only loss in the past six years. This will be the first fight, since his fight with GSP, that Fitch will not be able to control the wrestling. Hendricks also packs dynamite in his hands and I believe that will be the difference here. Hendricks and his “Leonidas” beard will win via TKO in the second.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

COWBOYS Cowboys Control Own Destiny

By Jay Betsill @thefamousjay The Dallas Cowboys (8-6) traveled to Florida for a Saturday night showdown with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-10). The Cowboys were looking to snap a two-game losing streak in which they blew fourth-quarter leads to watch its firm grip on the NFC East lead slip away. News around Tampa Bay involved head coach Raheem Morris’ job security and how the team was playing to save his job. Following the Cowboys 28-0 lead going into halftime, it was apparent that the Bucs were already checking on tee times for the offseason as they lost for the eighth straight time. Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo had a near flawless performance going 23 of 30 for 249 yards and three touchdowns. In three career games against Tampa Bay -- all victories -- Romo has thrown for 908 yards, 11 touchdowns and no interceptions. Running back Felix Jones had 108 yards, his second-

December 21 – January 3, 2012

straight game over 100 yards in place of the injured DeMarco Murray. “This was an important game,” Romo said. “Really the playoffs started for us; that’s the way we approached it. Guys came out with great energy and it was a great week of practice. We just had to go forward.” The Cowboys rested DeMarcus Ware and Jay Ratliff in the second half with the game out of hand. Ware aggravated a stinger in the first quarter and Ratliff has been slowed by a rib muscle strain. “They were both were [sic] fairly productive in the snaps they did get, but they’re dealing with some injuries,” head coach Jason Garrett said of Ware and Ratliff. “We’ve got to get them healthy and get going, because we need them.” The Washington Redskins did the Cowboys a favor with a 23-10 victory

over the New York Giants at Met Life Stadium on Sunday giving Dallas sole possession of first place in the NFC East with the Philadelphia Eagles (6-8) coming to Cowboys Stadium on Christmas Eve. The Eagles are fresh off a 45-19 route of the New York Jets that allowed them to keep their playoff hopes alive. Every Cowboys fan can instantly recall the 34-7 beatdown the Eagles administered to Dallas back on October 30. By halftime, with Philadelphia leading 24-0, the Eagles had 324 yards in total offense and Dallas had 94. Michael Vick threw for 187 yards in the first half. Romo threw for 36. At the finish, Philadelphia had a 495-267 advantage in total yards and a huge edge in time of possession (42:09-17:51). Needless to say, Philadelphia will arrive in Arlington with a ton of confidence. LeSean McCoy rushed for a careerhigh 185 yards and two touchdowns in

Upcoming Schedule: 9/11 @ NY Jets 24-27 9/18 @ SF 27-24 9/26 Washington 18-16 10/2 Detroit 30-34 10/9 Bye 10/16 @ New England 16-20 10/23 St. Louis 34-7 10/30 @ Philadelphia 7-34 11/6 Seattle 23-13 11/13 Buffalo 44-7 11/20 @ Washington 27-24 11/24 Miami 20-19 12/4 @ Arizona 13-19 12/11 NY Giants 34-37 12/17 @ Tampa Bay 31-15 12/24 Philadelphia 3:15pm 1/1 @ NY Giants Noon

the teams’ first meeting of the season. McCoy is coming off a dominating performance against the Jets with 102 yards and three touchdowns to give him 20 on the season. He notched his sixth 100-yard rushing game of the season and averaged 5.7 yards per carry. Dallas’ defense will also have to play close attention to wide receiver DeSean Jackson and tight end Brent Celek, coming off a career-best 156 yards receiving against New York. “Every week is different,” Eagles coach Andy Reid said. “I know the guys play hard and aggressive. I know they came in with the right frame of mind to do that.” On the Eagles defensive side of the ball, DE Jason Babin has become a force. Babin had three sacks for the second consecutive game – becoming

loss win win loss loss win loss win win win win loss loss win

the 10th player in NFL history to accomplish that feat and giving him 18 on the year. He’s the third Eagle to have that many sacks in a season joining Reggie White and Clyde Simmons. “The reason he’s a good football player is he’s really quick, he’s explosive, and he never stops,” Eagles defensive line coach Jim Washburn said. “Who in the league plays harder than Jason Babin?” Dallas remains in control of their own playoff destiny and can clinch the NFC East with a win over Philadelphia and a New York Giants loss to the Jets

They All Count Before the Tampa Bay game I heard many times that the Tampa Bay game didn’t matter. That the Cowboys could lose to Tampa Bay and still win the last two and win the NFC East was the type of conversation being had by talk show analysts. That’s probably why many of them have never played the game on the high level of NFL competition. The schedule and possibilities may say one thing but the on field action says another. If the Tampa Bay game didn’t matter then how come the 31-15 victory gives them a chance to clinch the NFC East this week against Philly rather then the following week against New York? The reason is that the Giants lost to Washington therefore changing the scenario. They all count. The Cowboys won their eighth game of the year by being productive in all areas of the game. 28 first downs to seven will usually get the job done. Only two penalties will contribute greatly to any game. The efficient play of Tony Romo continues to be the main source of optimism as he was 23 of 30 for 249 yards and three TDs. He spread the ball around for TDs to Austin, Robinson and Bryant. Felix Jones carried the ball 22 times for 108 yards and got excellent help from newly signed Sammy Morris. Again pundits want to say how Jones can’t carry the load because of injuries. I sug-

By Joe Avezzano www.hattricksdallas.com in the NFL. It is a brutal position that wears people down with the punishment they take. Felix is a good running back and the Cowboys are fortunate to have him with Murray being hurt and out for the season. The defense played well against Tampa Bay who has a poor offense. In the second half they were able to rest Ware and Ratliff who were banged up a little and that will help this week. Areas of Concern: Secondary - The secondary is not going to get much better. They have no depth and are capable of producing good results only if there is pressure from the players up front. That’s not so uncommon around the league but it really is prominent with the Cowboys. Pressure - Now the real problem. Without Ware doing the job the Cowboys don’t generate much pressure and with blitzing it makes it all the more important to get there as it adds pressure to the secondary. This is a dilemma without an easy answer. gest looking around the league and see how many running backs play the whole season. You’ll find very few. The reason is not that they are brittle it’s because they are running backs

Running Game - Felix Jones can produce and it will be vital to get enough production from that part of the game to help relieve pressure on Romo.

The Eagles are coming to town. This presents some poor match-ups for the Cowboys. The speed at wide receiver and QB and RB present a real issue for the Cowboys. Slowing down the Eagles will be a tough task and put added pressure on the offense to out score the Eagles. Hence we are right back to the beginning of the season when I said this team would go as far as Tony Romo can take them. He can’t do it alone but be must produce the positive results and not negative plays. This will be a tough game to win. It’s like in the 90’s when a talented Packer team would always play the Cowboys in the postseason and could never get past them. Reason was that the match-ups always seemed to favor the Cowboys. It will take a really good performance for the Cowboys to win this game. It’s possible and then all that is needed is for the Giants to lose to the Jets and the Cowboys are NFC champs. The reason is that they all count! Joe Avezzano can be heard Tuesday nights at 7pm on 95.3FM and on all Cowboy postgame shows on 105.3 The Fan. He can be seen on Channel 21 on Wednesday nights at 7:30pm. Join him for great food, sports, music and his TV show on Wednesday nights.

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

The Armed Forces Bowl

By Tommy Smith tsmith@blitzyweekly.com

By Sonny Capps hhhup88@gmail.com

THE TICKETCITY BOWL

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

Despite all of the terrible circumstances that are swirling around the (9-3) Penn State Nittany Lions football program, they will still play in a bowl game right here in Dallas when they take on the Houston Cougars (12-1) in the TicketCity Bowl January 2, at the Cotton Bowl. Everyone else will be talking about Jerry Sandusky so let’s leave that to them and take a look at the game that will be played on the field. The Conference USA runners up Houston Cougars failed to make a BCS game for the first time in school history by losing in the Conference Championship 49-28 to the Golden Eagles of Southern Mississippi December 3rd. That was a bit of a shock to most around the country who had penciled the Cougars into a BCS game after finishing the regular season undefeated at (12-0), but this is a perfect example of the danger a team faces playing that extra game at the end of the season to determine a conference winner. Had Houston run the table in the Big 12 this season, they would most likely be playing LSU for the national title. It is a bit silly to think that the Cougars would run the table in the Big 12, but the point is they would not have played the extra game against Sothern Miss. that cost them their shot. It will be an aerial offensive attack put on by the Cougars who rank first in the nation in scoring and first in passing yards. Quarterback Case Keenum has thrown for 5,099 yards this year. He has also tossed 45 touchdowns against a paltry five interceptions. The 45 touchdowns seem like a lot until you see that he threw for 44 TD’s in both 2008 and 2009. The team’s offensive system can be given a great deal of credit for Keenum’s gaudy numbers. Penn State has not been in the news for anything happening on the football field since a 45-7 thrashing at the hands of the Wisconsin Badgers November 26th. Penn State earns its money playing defense and ranks fifth overall in points against, giving up under 16 per game. The problem is that they rank 110th in points for, scoring under 20 a ball game this season. Even though Houston will be playing without their former head coach Kevin Sumlin, who has taken the job at Texas A&M, the only thing that will keep them from winning this game will be mistakes, missed opportunities and turnovers. Basically, if Houston plays clean football the Penn State faithful might be hit with another tragedy on just the second day of the New Year.

Bowl season has started up with upsets, high scores and a dull drum. When Tulsa and BYU square off on December 30th these two schools are in the right bowl (Armed Forces) as both these teams have high-powered offensive attacks. Points will be scored and there will be plenty. BYU finished off the year strong but the Cougars didn’t get on track until the fourth week of the season but has been able to put up an average of 30 points a contest throughout the sea-

Penn State vs. Houston Mon. Jan. 2 - 11:00am / ESPNU Cotton Bowl Stadium

BYU vs. Tulsa FRI. DEC 30 – 11:00am / ESPN Ford Stadium

son. Texas was the only Top 25 team they faced this year, which was a loss, but the Cougars have played a well-rounded schedule all over the country. QB Nelson will be playing again after having missed a few games this season due to injury. The junior can move the ball well with his arm and with Tulsa’s secondary he will get to his receivers as this year comes to a close. These passing numbers and scoring ability that BYU possess doesn’t faze Tulsa as they themselves top BYU in scoring and in total offense per game. The Golden Hurricanes not only have QB Kinne to sling it around the field, but they use RB’s Douglas and Watts to round out the attack on offense. Tulsa has played a tougher schedule this year facing four Top 10 teams, which were their only losses. Tulsa’s defense is very liberal in letting their opponents in the end zone, so some stops will need to be made. The last time these two met Tulsa out lasted BYU 55-47, and unless Tulsa thinks their playing another Top 10 team things may turn out the same. Tulsa’s defense will be tested against the aerial attack from BYU, but BYU will be tested not only in the air but also by a ground assault. BYU must try to keep it close in hopes of having the ball last and trying to get a win. If Tulsa is on target, BYU may not be able to escape this Hurricane offensive assault.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

STARS Stars End Road Trip

The Dallas Stars ended their five-game road trip with a loss, falling 6-3 to the New Jersey Devils on Friday night. The loss snapped the Stars winning streak at three games and sent them home with a 3-2-0 record on the trip, their longest of the season and one that covered 6,500 miles. Stars goaltender Richard Bachman stopped 25 of 31 shots and suffered his first NHL loss. The Stars fell to 0-6-0 in the second end of back-toback games this season. The Devils retired Scott Niedermayer’s jersey prior to the game. The Stars are proving to be a tough team to beat in tight games. Before losing the last game of the road trip, the Stars had won three straight one-goal victories. “That’s all we’ve known so far. They’ve all been down to the wire,” said Stars captain Brenden Morrow after one of those wins. “You just learn from them. Going into the third [down by a goal] we were still pretty comfortable where we we’re at. “ The Stars improved to a league-best 112-1 in one-goal games this season. The threestraight wins have all come on the road for the Stars, who are 5-4-1 over their last ten games and are now 18-12-1 on the season and have tallied 37 points, enough for first place in the Pacific Division. “Mentally we know we are at a point where we know if we come to work and play our game, we can hang with anyone,” said Stars coach Glen Gulutzan. “I think it’s just a matter of us having that mindset come every night. Mentally, they are confident they can win if they play a certain way. That’s always a good thing. To think it and to do it are two different things.” The Stars got three strong efforts from net minder Bachman before the loss to the Devils. Bachman is now 3-1-0 in four appearances since being recalled from

By Tony Barone tbarone@blitzweekly.com

Upcoming Schedule: 12/21 Flyers 6:30 p.m. 12/23 Predators 7:30 p.m. 12/26 @Blues 6:30 p.m. 12/29 Blue Jackets 7:30 p.m. 12/31 Bruins 7:00 p.m. 1/3 Red Wings 7:00 p.m. 1/5 @Predators 7:00 p.m.

the AHL due to an injury to Kari Lehtonen. Solid goaltending is a must for the Stars who continue to struggle offensively, as demonstrated by their power play percentage which ranks a dismal 24th in the NHL. “The confidence is growing the more and more you play up here,” Bachman said after a recent victory. “I think tonight the D really did a great job helping me out. I didn’t feel like I had control of all the rebounds, I left a few lying out there but they did a great job clearing out in front of me. It was one of those nights where you have to battle through it.” The Stars get a chance to add to their Pacific Division lead with a favorable schedule the remainder of December. Dallas has six games left and five of them are on home ice. The lone road game is the night after Christmas against the St. Louis Blues, and there are no back to back games on the schedule again until January 16th and 17th.

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

MAVS Preview Your 2012 Dallas Mavericks

The Champs cut their salary and reloaded, but will they have enough ammunition to repeat? In a perfect world we’d be talking about how the Mavericks resigned everybody that made the historic championship run last season and how they are going to defend their title. However, in an offseason featuring a lockout that dramatically changed the way the NBA functions the Mavericks had to face a harsh cold reality. If they simply resigned their aging roster at elevated salaries they would hamstring their franchise from being able to make moves. The core roster would be immovable and the Mavericks would likely waste away the remaining years of Dirk’s prime while missing out on signing key free agents next offseason that could take this franchise into the next decade. Many fans are rightly disappointed that Tyson Chandler, Caron Butler, and J.J. Barea didn’t get an opportunity to defend the title but it was the right move. The Mavericks are looking at the big picture and what life will be like heading into the new era of NBA basketball. This preview will cover the new look roster, key departures, and how the Mavericks are planning to mash it all together. Key Departures: C Tyson Chandler In this column I wrote that the Mavs should resign Tyson Chandler after an emotional few days watching Finals replays. He was the second best player on the Mavericks last season. I simply couldn’t get past that the Mavericks were considering letting him go. The Mavericks are losing their best defender, rebounder, and defensive court general. Say it ain’t so Cubes! After a few rational days of studying the new CBA, I’m telling you it was likely the right decision. This was the toughest decision the Mavs have had to make since Steve Nash. Nobody disputes what Tyson can do on the court but the problem with paying him serious cash is his ability to stay healthy. Tyson missed 76 regular season games in the previous three seasons. His injuries were so bad that most people in the league thought his career was likely over. This also reeks of the textbook contract year performance that has bitten the Mavs before (Dampier, Haywood) and in the new NBA you can’t commit resources like that if you’re not 100% certain they can live up to expectations. Can you really commit that much of the cap to a player that has only been an elite difference maker 3 of his 10 seasons in the league(‘05. ‘07. ‘11)? Hard to miss that all those were around an elite table setting point guard like Jason Kidd (a player that won’t likely be here for half of the contract) setting him up for lobs. Those are the types for players you

By Geoff Case gcase@blitzweekly.com have to make tough decisions on. Tyson was a good player and the conditions were right for him elevate his game to become great. (See Chris Paul years) I could be wrong and Tyson could play 82 games a year for the rest of his career (I hope he does), but you’ve got to go with the knowledge and information you have and the Mavs were right to be cautious. G J.J. Barea I would have never thought Barea could have such an impact for a team on such a big stage. Barea was absolutely necessary for the Mavericks to win the title last season. His dribble penetration was so effective and so frustrating for opponents that it literally caused Andrew Bynum to lose his shirt. I like that the Mavs stayed cap conscious and let Barea go. Under the new CBA you have to let guys like Barea go especially when you’ve investing so much time developing a talent like Roddy Beaubois. It’s a risk, but you’ve got to assume that Roddy will be able to take over that role. Like Chandler, Barea will never have to buy his own drink in Dallas again. F Caron Butler Butler wasn’t on the court during the playoffs so it’s really hard to gauge his impact on the championship run but by all accounts he was huge. When a player suffers a season ending injury there is a tendency to sulk and unintentionally become a cloud hovering over the entire team. Caron Butler’s work ethic and determination to get back for a playoff run inspired his teammates to fight to keep playing to give him that opportunity. Sadly, Butler playing the postseason wasn’t in the cards but the positive effect he had on the team was huge. However, the Mavs simply couldn’t justify resigning a guy in his thirties much less matching what the Clippers offered him. Happy trails Caron, you will be missed. Key Additions: F Lamar Odom I love the storylines surrounding Odom’s arrival to Dallas. The Lakers tried to trade for Chris Paul in a three team mega trade (including Odom) that gets mysteriously denied by the league (who happens to own the team) creating awkward situations for all players and teams involved. Lamar who felt

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disrespected, asked to be traded. Inexplicitly the Lakers traded forward Lamar Odom and a second-round draft pick to the Dallas Mavericks for a first-round pick and an $8.9 million trade exception. Needless to say Kobe Bryant wasn’t too thrilled the Lakers traded him to the team that swept them in the playoffs. Lamar suddenly makes all the cost cutting moves the Mavs made completely forgivable. They suddenly are now back into the contender discussion and keep their free agency options open for next summer’s Deron/Dwight sweepstakes. If you aren’t familiar with Lamar Odom, he’s the reigning Sixth Man of the Year and as versatile

as forwards get in the NBA. He’s got championship experience and can guard positions 3-5. Paired along with Marion, the Mavericks can get very innovative with their match-ups. G Vince Carter Carter’s best years are way behind him as he transitions into becoming a role player on a contender. I’ve never been a fan of Vince’s but if he can hit his open shots and not launch ill advised threes he might be able to add something to this team. He’s got experience playing with Jason Kidd and hopefully they’ve got a little magic left. I’ve never seen Vince Carter as a piece of a championship roster, hopefully I’m wrong. G Delonte West I could write an entire column on Delonte but the fact that 90% of it wouldn’t be about basketball is rather telling. There are the rumors about LeBron James mom,

Upcoming Schedule: 12/25 Heat 1:30 p.m. 12/26 Nuggets 7:30 p.m. 12/29 @Thunder 7:00 p.m. 12/30 Raptors 7:30 p.m. 1/1 @T-Wolves 6:00 p.m. 1/2 Thunder 7:30 p.m. 1/4 Suns 7:30 p.m.

YouTube clips, and arrest records. I’m thinking the Kardashians might be the second best reality TV show opportunity in Dallas this season. On the court, Delonte is a natural two guard that can run the point. He’s been a role player on contenders the last few seasons and is pretty talented if he can keep his head on straight. He should add some much needed depth and I’m thinking the calm atmosphere in Dallas will be a plus for Delonte.

Can they repeat? Honestly, if the Mavs brought everybody back they’d still be a long shot to repeat. As the roster sits right now I’d say no. I’m just not sold on Brendan Haywood and his ability to replace Chandler’s defensive presence and leadership. I do believe Haywood is good enough to be a starting center in this league but not a difference maker. The Mavericks defense took some hits this offseason that will be the area where it’s most evident. The Mavs might have lost a chunk of talent but overhauled an aging roster while maintaining cap flexibility and there’s something to be said for that. The Mavericks are only a few moves away from being title favorites so don’t expect Donnie Nelson to sit on his hands if an opportunity arises. Regardless, the Mavericks are putting a very exciting roster out on the court this season and should be a blast to watch.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16 Photo Courtesy: Jennifer Conley, V M R, Dumpingpixels, Petar S, OPUS

Where will you find yourself standing when we boldly go into another year? A year that may possibly be our last in this particular civilization if you happen to believe in Mayan prophesy. Just to be on the safe side you may want to attend one hell of a New Year’s party. For those of you that are not Times Square bound you will find a list of fitting shindigs and get-togethers that will satisfy everyone from the pop-culture power list to the once a year partier. Enjoy, be safe and see you in an even numbered year! Fashionably Uncorked NYE 2012 Host: DJ Humble Ticket Price: Ladies $80 What’s Happening: Drink all you want for one ticket price including premium liquor and shots. Indulge in complimentary hors d’oeuvres from 9pm – 11pm. Fashion Industry Gallery 1807 Ross Ave. (214) 748-4344 Last Resort NYE Host: Rumble Kings Ticket Price: No Cover What’s Happening: Jump headfirst into 2012 with your pals at Dick’s Last Resort and the Rumble Kings. I’m sure they’ll write what your resolution should be on your hat. Dick’s Last Resort 2211 N. Lamar (214) 747-0001 MAXIM NYE 2012 Host: Maxim Models Billy The Kid 106.1 KissFm Ticket Price: $40 What’s Happening: 25,000 square feet of celebration including; a red carpet, tons of paparazzi, a laser light show, sexy burlesque dancers and a balloon drop at midnight. Zouk Nightclub 703 Mckinney St. (214) 754-8090 Ghostbar New Years Eve Party Host: Madonna’s official DJ Enferno Ticket Price: $75 What’s Happening: DJ Dre of WishFM will be in the house to heat things up before DJ Enferno blazes the booth for all the sexy partygoers in attendance. W Hotel 2440 Victory Park Lane Suite 330 (214) 720-9909

Glass New Years Eve Host: DJ Pete Mash Ticket Price: $50.00 What’s Happening: Complimentary champagne for all guests from 11:50pm – 12am. Enjoy premium buffet dining from Nick and Sam’s Steakhouse throughout the evening. Glass 1899 McKinney Avenue (214) 740-1899 GoldFinger NYE 2012 Host: DJ Inzo & DJ ATG Ticket Price: $40.00 What’s Happening: Experience a James Bond themed evening of style, glamour, mystery and intrigue with Dallas’ best-dressed partygoers. Winstons Supperclub 3111 Welborn Avenue Suite 110 (214) 551-1705 Poke’s Bar & Bash NYE Host: Take Cover Ticket Price: No Cover What’s Happening: Ring in the New Year in the neighborhood! Poke’s will have music, fun, a countdown, and plenty of toasts and cheers. Poke’s Bar & Grill 14831 Midway Rd. Suite 101 (972) 385-POKE Take Flight 2012 Host: The LHK, SnoWhite + Kayla Kruz Ticket Price: $45 What’s Happening: Aloft Hotel will be transformed into a club goer’s paradise as you dance the night away until 4am to Dallas’ best club DJs. Aloft hotel 1033 Young Street (214) 761-0000

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NYE Wonderland 2012 Host: 10 DJs & 40 Go-Go Girls Ticket Price: $25 What’s Happening: Three rooms, Seven bars, 10 DJs, 40 GoGo Angels & one Hell of a good time with the most extravagant private venue in Dallas so expect the Biggest New Years Eve bash in the country! eM Lounge 1500 Dragon St (214) 302-7220

Forever 2012 Host: DJ Freddy Mac, DJ Nas, DJ Riz, DJ Skillz & DJ Hollywood Ticket Price: $20 What’s Happening: Red carpet with professional photographers capturing the magic of the evening. Make some noise with complimentary party favors and a champagne toast at midnight under a $5,000 cash balloon drop. Opus Lounge 2208 Main St.

Wish Ultra Lounge New Years Eve Party Host: DJ Robert Pennington of 4th District Music Tickets: $35 What’s Happening: Raise a complimentary champagne toast under a $2,000 cash and prize snow balloon drop, with free bubbly, party favors and noisemakers for guests in attendance. Wish Ultra Lounge 3001 Knox Street Suite 210 (214) 389-5723

Purgatory Dallas New Years Eve Party Host: D-Train Skibblez, DJ Colombiano & DJ Jessy Jam Ticket Price: $25 What’s Happening: Celebrate throughout three rooms of music with four awesome DJ’s and the hottest partygoers in Dallas. Purgatory Night Club 2208 Main St (214) 651-8850

All Inclusive New Years Eve Host: One of the city’s hottest DJs Ticket Price: $125 What’s Happening: a six-hour open bar, appetizers and a champagne toast at midnight!! This all-inclusive ticket at our upscale club venue guarantees a great New Year Eve! The Gin Mill/Swig 1921 Henderson Avenue (214) 824-3343

Roaring Twenties NYE Host: BlackFinn Flappers Ticket Price: No Cover What’s Happening: Enjoy a midnight champagne toast and breakfast buffet then keep your fingers crossed and hope to win a FREE trip to New Orleans. BlackFinn 4440 Belt Line Rd (469) 374-7667 Party With Professor D at Hotel Intercontinental Host: Professor D Band Ticket Price: $65 What’s Happening: Live music, light hors d’oeuvres, two drink coupons per person, champagne toast and balloon drop at midnight. Hotel Intercontinental 15201 Dallas Parkway (972) 386-6000

New Year’s Party at Gaylord Texan Resort with Le Freak Host: Le Freak Ticket Price: $383 What’s Happening: Boogey into the New Year at Gaylord Texan’s annual New Year’s Eve Ballroom Gala with live 70’s style entertainment by Le Freak. Gaylord Texan Resort 1501 Gaylord Trail (817) 778-2000 House of Blues NYE 2012 Host: Petty Theft and Graceland Ninjaz Ticket Price: $45 What’s Happening: The Mecca of music will host one heck of a year christening. Be in the House (literally) when the clock strikes 12 and the band is jamming out. House of Blues (Foundation Room) 2200 N. Lamar (214) 978-BLUE Duke’s Roadhouse NYE Bash Host: The Lovely Ladies of Dukes Ticket Price: No Cover What’s Happening: Good drinks, good friends – here’s to a good year. Super hits countdown, Free champagne toast, $3 drinks, and free breakfast buffet from 12-2am. Duke’s Roadhouse Plano & Addison Locations (972) 312-0113 & (972) 503-2337

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

By Geoff Case gcase@blitzweekly.com

So you wanna lose 10 pounds, stop smoking, and finally quit binge watching the Kardashians? Chances are you are going to fail epically. So what resolutions historically fail the most often? If you want to stop lying to yourself this holiday season and pick a resolution that you actually have a chance of keeping. Check out the list and try to avoid these New Year’s resolutions that will torpedo your resolve. Lose the spare tire That’s right, most people want to lose that extra 15 pounds they gained during the holidays eating bacon wrapped cheese balls (Thanks Gram Gram). Logically, resolving to lose weight during this time of the season is a recipe for disaster. More than likely it is only going to end for you like it did last year. Inhaling three pints of Ben and Jerry’s after you walked around the block. Hey, you deserved it big guy. Cutting down on alcohol Again, the time of year does not do any favors for this resolution. So your mother-in-law decided to stay an extra couple of weeks. No biggie. This resolution is usually made when a drunk guy is sobbing to his spouse after puking in the punch bowl at a New Years Eve party. If this resolution isn’t usually made in the ideal setting, it can be tough to remain committed to the cause. Quit smoking If you can’t watch Mad Men without instantly salivating for sweet nicotine then it’s probably not happening this year. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try but just know that you’re going to have to have a game plan for this one. Chances are if you want to quit smoking, you’ve wanted to quit smoking for a while. An excuse—in the form of January 1—isn’t going to help you achieve it. What it will do is give you an entire year to plan to quit smoking with no real set course of action. Manage debt So buying a thousand dollar Samurai Sword wasn’t the best idea in the world but it totally brings the room together right? We’ve all been there. The economy is in the toilet and your credit score is sinking faster than the Titanic. It’s high time you start managing your finances more responsibly and efficiently. Is that going to happen this year? Nope. You’ve already bought the entire Hanna Montana collection on Blu-Ray. The usual difficulty met by people who make New Year’s resolutions is not setting an objective that is too far-fetched to begin with. Most people aim to achieve ordinary things, but they find themselves unsuccessful in the end due to sheer lack of determination. If you really want to put something in the win column this year, do it with something you’re passionate about like honing a skill or a hobby. It might make you look better naked but at least the chances of it happening are much greater.

This year I’ll follow BLITZ Weekly on Twitter.

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

2011 Year in Review

2011 was a year of angst, heat and Texas ballplayers kicking ass. Here are the highlights in case you have been living under a rock!

By Hannah Allen hallen@blitzweekly.com

March After a bizarre few months of misbehavior, benders and serious mouthing off Charlie Sheen is fired from the cast of CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men. In the pre-cursor to the firing Sheen did give us a number of taglines and hashtags including #winning and #tigersblood in a series of televised interviews in which his age and insanity were very apparent.

January The New Year started out with a literal bang in Tucson, Arizona when a deranged young man shot Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords in the head at a public function. The shooting left six dead and 12 others wounded. Representative Giffords continues making remarkable progress in her recovery. Prince William and Kate Middleton announce their engagement to the world. While many of us may have this as a passing headline on our Yahoo News round up the other 87% of the entire population of planet Earth took this as the single most important thing ever. All anyone heard for the next several months was, “What WILL that dress look like?” Mazel Tov, y’all.

February After 18 bloody and tense days of protest in Tahrir Square in Egypt President Hosni Mubarak gave into the will of his people and stepped down from his 30-year dictatorship. The phrase Arab Spring was coined shortly thereafter as the region exploded with demonstrations fueled by social networking.

July The jury of the Casey Anthony trial reaches the verdict of “Not Guilty.” The country reacts in outrage but the jurors maintain they could not be convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that Casey murdered her twoyear-old daughter Caylee. During the 33 days of testimony headline news saw it’s highest ratings ever. That’s right, even higher than the O.J. Simpson trial in 1995.

August Does anyone even remember August or were we all passed out from heatstroke? The hottest summer in over 30 years was this past one with 40 consecutive days of 100+ temperatures. That’s just two days shy of the alltime hottest summer on record in 1980.

September Blink 182 tries to come back and re-claim their late 90s neopunk throne but critics and fans agree they’re more “not gone” than “back.” While their initial influence can be heard all over the pop charts today they’re all grown up and so are their fans.

In a mysterious twist of fate many members of Navy SEAL Team 6, the team responsible for the siege and death of Osama bin Laden, die tragically in a helicopter crash over the Afghani desert.

The inception of Occupy Wall Street commences in Zucotti Park in New York City and spreads to several other US cities. Though many of the Occupier’s sites have been cleared protests continue and Occupiers promise they won’t be going anywhere anytime soon.

Amy Winehouse dies suddenly from an overdose of alcohol. While many people were not entirely shocked by her death due to her very public battle with drug and alcohol the general reaction was one of sadness. Amy was 27 when she died, the same age as rock and roll greats Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Kurt Cobain.

The Super Bowl came to Cowboy’s stadium amid a giant snowstorm - much to the chagrin of the northerners hoping to escape the worst winter in years. The Fox Broadcasting Company coverage of Super Bowl XLV broke the record for most viewed television program in the United States. This is especially awesome because Christina Aguilera forgot the lyrics to the national anthem.

London Riots rip through the UK racking up staggering sums of property damage including; 24 vehicle fires, 10 building fires, 58 shops looted, 160 incident reports, 20,000+ emergency calls, 1700+ arrests and 5 fatalities.

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Japan gets a massive dose of bad luck as Mother Nature dishes out a lethal earthquake followed by an unprecedented tsunami and topped off by a nuclear crisis all of which killed thousands. The small island nation continues to recover but the nuclear power plants affected still leak radiation.

April Penelope Cruz becomes the first Spanish actress to receive a star on the Hollywood walk to fame. While I can’t say for sure who makes those decisions I do know I’d like to shake his hand. On a similar, yet unrelated note, Jennifer Lopez, 41, is declared the world’s most beautiful woman by People Magazine. Shortly thereafter she calls it quits with her husband Marc Anthony. Does that seem like a weird coincidence to anyone else? The lawsuit against Taco Bell officially gets dropped. The mixture of interesting material that Taco Bell calls “beef” was deemed worthy enough to keep the name. Late night munchie-driven stoners let out a collective sigh of relief.

October Steve Jobs dies from a rare form of pancreatic cancer a few months after resigning as CEO of Apple. The condition plagued him for eight years before claiming his life. A college drop-out and Zen Buddhist who dropped acid in the 60s, Jobs developed technology that has changed the way we communicate forever. The Texas Rangers loose the World Series. It’s sad but it must be mentioned. Hardcore and fair-weather fans alike filled sports bars and living rooms all over the metroplex in hopes that the Rangers would follow the Mavs but it just wasn’t in the cards. Maybe next year?

May Criminal Mastermind and public enemy number one Osama bin Laden is pronounced dead about a month after a staggeringly unpopular President Obama announces his run for reelection in 2012. Social networks erupt with “F U Osama!!” as people take to the Capitol building in D.C. and streets all over America to cheer on the president and Navy Seal Team 6 for their victory in the war on terror. Former California Governor (and Terminator) Arnold Swarzenegger gets busted as a womanizing creep when his super-unattractive housekeeper and family friend gets outed as the mother of a love child. He put a Hollywood comeback on hold to deal with women coming out of the woodwork but not before his wife files for divorce.

November Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 is released. Mercifully before Black Friday, I might add. The King of Pop’s former physician Conrad Murray is sentenced to four years in Federal lock-up after being tried for involuntary manslaughter. Michael Jackson was Dr. Murray’s only patient and, of course, the reason you know about the drug Propofol. Occupy UC Davis becomes an iconic moment in time as peaceful collegiate protestors were pepper sprayed directly in the face by police in riot gear. This prompted an apology from the school’s chancellor and an outside investigation to be conducted.

June The Dallas Mavericks beat the Miami Heat in the NBA Championship! Do we really need to elaborate on this or just have a much-needed moment of silence for the green and blue? The highly anticipated summer film Green Lantern is released to largely unfavorable reviews and less than astounding box office figures. Commander-in-Chief Obama announced that the United States plans to begin withdrawing troops from Afghanistan. The president stated that it’s, “time to focus on nationbuilding here at home.” The U.S. sets the strategy to draw 10,000 troops from Afghanistan by the year’s end.

December The GOP presidential candidates continue to bumble and banter in the innumerable debates on both network and cable television. Sadly, our own Governor Rick Perry is making Texans look like a bunch of drunk, evangelical cowboys. The late Elizabeth Taylor’s jewelry is auctioned off at Christies in New York. The star’s legendary jewelry collection has topped $115 Million and included a 33 karat diamond ring. The Iraq War officially ends when the last of the troops leave the country putting the closing chapter on the conflict that has cost the country almost nine years of sacrifice from young men and women, as well as, billions of dollars. Above it all we get to tell our troops welcome home.

Photo Courtesy: Joe Lustri, Talk Radio News, Jed Ramos, Stefan Kloo, Danny Bollinger, mp3waxx, Nopphan Bunnag, Donkey Hotey

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

Restaurant review

Tools of the Trade for Home Cooks Even if you don’t have the talent you should have the tools

By Judy Chamberlain jchamberlain@blitzweekly.com I hate the term “foodie.” It’s right up there in my book with “veggies.” Sometimes, though, there’s no other way to describe folks who love food, clamor for invites to the latest “soft openings” and also enjoy cooking at home. And anyone who IS one usually also enjoys collecting the tools of the trade… or at least a few that are fun, pretty, make prep work easier and help you create exotic concoctions to foist on your family and friends. This does not have to be an expensive hobby; there are lots of gadgets on the market these days that make cooking at home more enjoyable than ever. They make great holiday presents for anyone on your list who likes to cook – including YOU! And, oh those after-Christmas sales! Here are some nifty little numbers at varying price points to squirrel into the pantry while Santa’s watching the Big Game: OXO Good Grip 2-Cup Angled Measuring Cup Ever try using a standard measuring cup to add flour or ice water to dough that’s being kneaded in your food processor work bowl? If you do a lot of baking, this little gem might well be the best food-related investment you’ll ever make. It costs less than lunch for two at Burger King. Kroger Stores Stackable Food Prep “Nesting” Bowls These are made of durable tempered glass and usually come in sets of ten. They’re great space

savers and indispensable for mise en place assembly, which means “ready to cook.” It’s a restaurant term, and restaurants have larger versions of prep containers – usually made of stainless steel in uniform sizes. But these do just fine for the home cook, and they look adorable when all of your ingredients are measured into them – especially the smallest one, which is barely big enough to hold a pinch of freshlygrated nutmeg. Williams-Sonoma Vita Mix Creations GC The Rolls Royce of smoothie makers, this Vita Mix does a vast variety of chores. It purees fruits, grinds flour and even makes soup. It’s not cheap, but neither is a major Starbucks or Jamba Juice habit. Kids who hate v-e-g-e-ta-bl-e-s won’t know what they’re eating when you slip a few kale leaves and some Swiss chard stems into their chocolate shake. Bowl rinses clean in seconds. www.vitamix.com All-Clad Asparagus Pot with Steamer Basket This is nifty! It’s just the right size for steaming small quantities of almost anything. Potatoes, turnips, parsnips, beets artichokes and other vegetables turn out perfectly. Place unpeeled onions,

garlic, ginger, celery and carrots in the cylindrical basket, fill the pot with water and simmer up a healthy vegetable stock for soups and gravies. Compost or discard the contents of the basket. Williams-Sonoma De Buyer Country Fry Pan, Blue Steel Santa, are you reading this? I want one of these. SANTA! Get away from that TV set, NOW. Er, I mean….I’ll be really good and cook you dinner all the time and not beg you to go with me to review restaurants. Santa? Debuyer.com

Wilton Silicone Bakeware Set No butter, no nonstick spray, no flour – just add batter and bake. For best results place the loaf pans on a cookie sheet. Breads brown perfectly and nothing sticks to these pans. Macy’s Photos Courtesy: Eric Leuthardt, TicketCity Bowl, Brandi Korte, Darryl Briggs, Thomas Bower, Martin Sharman

WED. 12/21

Swing Out & Line Dance Classes Harwood 609 – Dallas Let Dallas dance legend Miss Barbara show you a thing or two on the dance floor. She’ll have you spinning and big buckle holding in no time. 7pm.

thurs. 12/22

Tori Amos Verizon Theater – Grand Prairie One of the most prolific musicians of our time will bring her deep lyrics and sultry voice to the longhorn state. Her music is definitely not for the faint of heart. $40 8pm.

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Sun. 12/25

Mavs vs Heat American Airline Center - Dallas This game will be awesome; the season opener, championship re-match, and raising the banner all rolled into one. Our world champion Mavs start the quest for the repeat. 1:30pm.

Thurs. 12/29

Stars vs Blue Jackets American Airlines Center – Dallas Bring the whole family out to see our Dallas Stars go into epic battle with the forces of darkness (we’ll just call this darkness the Columbus Blue Jackets). May the pucks be with you! 7:30pm.

Sat. 12/31

NYE @ Victory Park Victory Park – Dallas Ring in the New Year with 10,000 of your closest absolute strangers! There will be fireworks, well wishes, and dozens of vagrants begging for money in unison. Before 12am.

mon. 1/2

TicketCity Bowl Cotton Bowl – Dallas Watch the Nittany Lions of Penn State take on the Cougars of UH in pursuit of a bowl game victory. Surprisingly, both teams think they’re the favorite. Also surprisingly, the head coaches who were with the team at the start of the season are no longer there! 11am.

tues. 1/3

Stars vs Red Wings American Airlines Center – Dallas NHL Royalty is coming down to D-town for a good old-fashioned lone star butt whipping. Shame they got to go all the way back home with a sore keister. 7pm.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

HollywoodProfile Steven Spielberg has directed sharks, dinosaurs, and extraterrestrials; so, why not a horse. His latest, or one of his three latest projects, is War Horse. It’s a beautiful story about a boy, and well, his horse. It is the story of a miraculous horse in World War I — a stirring journey that explores a bond of friendship, loyalty and courage. Within the tale of a boy and the feisty colt he never stops believing in, there are sweeping battles, desperate escapes and an evocative odyssey through a world at war. But no matter where they go or what they experience, both boy and horse keep forging ahead driven by devotion and the hope of returning home. I sat down with Mr. Spielberg to discuss the film and what drew him to this epic cinematic journey. It’s interesting how you came to discover “War Horse” because there is both the book and the play. Can you talk about your experience discovering the material? Kathy Kennedy, who had already experienced it in the West End in London and told me about it and how moved she was by the play, discovered it for me. Then Stacey [Snider], the head of my company, DreamWorks, flew over and saw it without me.

By Vivian Fullerlove vfullerlove@blitzweekly.com And she concurred with Kathy about how powerful a story it was. The puppets are magnificent on stage; the puppeteers are in a way the stars of the show. But we knew that if we were going to tell the story, it was going be with real horses, not with maquettes or marionettes. So then we preemptively made a bid to buy it even before I saw it, just based on the story, which really appealed to me. I also read the Michael Morpurgo book right after Kathy and Stacey had seen the show on the West End. I love the book. But the book is told from Joey’s point of view. You even hear Joey’s thoughts. I knew that was not an avenue into adaptation to film but it really made me understand the story from several different viewpoints. So then my wife and I flew to London and we got a chance to see “War Horse” for the first time. And that sealed the deal as far as I was concerned. What themes in the “War Horse” story stood out to you? War Horse says a lot about courage; the courage of this boy and what he endures and what he overcomes to achieve what he needs and not just for himself but also for his best friend, his horse Joey. It’s also about the courage and the tenacity of this extraordinary animal.

The theme of courage kept coming back from the play, from Michael Morpurgo’s book and from Lee Hall and Richard Curtis’ screenplay. That was the underlying subliminal theme that I think informs every frame of War Horse. When Jeremy Irvine came in to audition for Albert, did you know he was the one? There were hundreds of boys that came in to read for Albert. And Jeremy was maybe right in the middle of the pack. He didn’t come in on the first day like Christian Bale, who was the second person I saw for Empire of the Sun. Months later I went back to Christian after thinking, “Why, if I get a guy that good on my first day of casting, imagine who I’ll find in a couple of weeks.” Well, that didn’t happen. Christian beat all the other competitors for the part. And the same thing happened here with War Horse. Right in the middle of the search process, we found Jeremy. And then we moved on to see if anybody else could match him. And several months later, we came back to Jeremy, realizing that he was the best person for the part. Read the full interview at: BlitzWeekly.com

You can check out War Horse tonight at a theatre near you. The film is open nationwide and is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of war violence.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

By Joyce Alexander comments@blitzweekly.com

with Steven Spielberg

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo will knock your socks off. On the surface it appears to be a standard movie-of-the-week thriller with a quirky heroine. But it is much, much more. Now, you may be assuming that I am talking about the upcoming big budget Hollywood production starring Daniel Craig. I am not. I am talking about the original, 2009 film directed by Danish filmmaker Niels Arden Oplev. It is disturbing and intense. It also sets the bar pretty high for the upcoming Hollywood remake. The Swedish film begins with crusading journalist, Mikael Blomkvist, wrongly convicted of printing false information. In debt because of his legal troubles, he takes on what appears to be a straightforward writing assignment for a wealthy industrialist. Key to this story is the character Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace). Not only does she have a dragon tattoo, she also has multiple facial piercings. Lisbeth is a talented researcher, anti-social computer hacker, and one tough cookie. We find out early in the story that Lisbeth was once committed to a mental institution. In spite of the challenges of her past, she refuses to give up or give into the crooks, liars, scoundrels, and perverts who cross her path. Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) enlists her help in his search for answers about the mysterious disappearance of a young girl more than 20 years ago. Dragon Tattoo depicts the first story contained in three books in the Millennium Series written by Stieg Larsson. The series is dark, violent, and at times hard to watch. It is also multi-layered and interconnected. Just when you think you know what is going on, the story surprises you. It would be easy for the Hollywood version to make a mess of The Millennium Series by making it slick and easy for the American moviegoer to consume. We’ll see when the movie is released in U.S. theaters on December 21. If you want to see the original version, you can stream it online at Amazon.com’s video website. Beware, the original version is in Swedish, so if you don’t speak the language, rent the English dubbed version. If you speak Swedish or are a foreign film purist, there is an English subtitled version. Now that I have seen the original, I look forward to seeing how Hollywood reinterprets it.

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VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

2012 GMC Sierra 2500 HD: The Duramax Lives On!

By David Goodspeed dgoodspeed@blitzweekly.com As automakers have pared down corporate structure in recent years due to market demands, economy and even government oversight, consumers have had to say goodbye to nameplates and models they’d become loyal fans and admirers of. So how does a division like GMC survive when brands like Plymouth, Pontiac and Mercury are kicked to the curb? All GMC makes is trucks or SUVs and each of those is on a shared platform with a Chevy counterpart. GMC has been making trucks since 1901 when it was first established at the Rapid Motor Vehicle Company and was responsible for developing the earliest commercial trucks ever designed. GM purchased RMVC in 1909 to form the basis of the General Motors Truck Company. The first time GMC Truck was used publicly was at the New York International Auto Show in 1912 and GMC produced some 372 trucks that year. The Suburban was the first SUV built by GMC in 1939 (which in recent years has been changed to

Yukon). During WWII, GMC produced 600,000 trucks for use by the U.S. military. In 1960 GMC introduced Sierra as the transition from commercial to personal use trucks began. During the 1980s GMC was the No. 3 truck maker in America and in 1996 GM dropped the word “truck” from the GMC nameplate to reflect the division’s broader offering of vehicles that included vans and SUVS in addition to pickups and the “Professional Grade” tagline made its appearance in 1998. GMC survived closure during bankruptcy because it is profitable. Trucks are the most profitable segment for automakers and truck divisions are serving their masters well. We recently spent time in the 2012 GMC Sierra 2500 HD rolling in high fashion Denali trim. The basic truck is very similar to its Chevrolet Silverado counterpart and both utilize same architecture, powertrain, technology and safety equipment but Denali takes GM(C)

pickups to a higher level, both aesthetically and economically. Most, OK all, pickup guys (and gals) I know choked a bit when I recited the MSRP for this truck in Denali form. To be fair, the truck is a beast, a long, tall, powerful, dressed-to-thenines beast. Sixty-two thousand and change buys you one of the most capable trucks on the road that will allow you to put in your 40-plus during the week and roll up to the red carpet at the Cattle Baron’s Ball Saturday night. This is “denim and diamonds” and “leather and lace” all wrapped up in one big package. Our tester came with the newest Duramax 6.6-liter turbodiesel engine mated to a heavy-duty Al-

lison six-speed automatic gearbox and we enjoyed GMC’s electronic shift 4x4 running gear along with locking rear differential, 20-inch polished wheels, skid plate package, tubular chrome side steps and heavy duty trailering package. GMC offers the latest safety and infotainment technology on its vehicles and the Sierra 2500 HD Denali is certainly no exception. If I were forced to list one thing as my favorite feature in the truck I think it would be the heated steering wheel on those cold mornings I couldn’t find my gloves. Sierra is a capable truck and GMC lives by its Professional Grade mantra on a daily basis and Denali, as the name implies, takes this vehicle to lofty heights.

The Difference Between a Man and a Boy is the Price of his Toys! these are for sure to make your want list! Cold Steel Katana Machete Tried of finding those pesky ninjas in your shrubbery? The two-handed Katana Machete is the gardening tool for you! Trim hedges and sever appendages all at the same time. One thing’s for sure when they see you outside with this; those meddling kids will never TP your house again.

Fantasy Sports Trophies It’s about time that we honor those with absolutely no athletic ability whatsoever. Too long have our fantasy heroes faced the harsh reality of the real world. Finally reward has come to those whose eyes have long been strained by countless hours of laptop and smartphone screen checking. Stand up you number crunchers, you late-nite traders, you statisticians – this one’s for you. Take a bow, and then go back to your barrel of cheese puffs. Your remote awaits! Price: $349

Price: $40

By Ashly Anderson www.almostnerdy.com

Future of Consoles A feeling of apprehension has swept over the gaming world with the announcement that Microsoft has sent out the development kits for the successor to the Xbox 360. Which begs the question: “How far away (or how close) is the next generation of consoles?” The PlayStation 2 enjoyed an extremely long lifespan, surviving well past the PS3’s launch. The original Xbox did not have that same privilege. Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Microsoft pulled development from it seemingly overnight, with all of their focus on their shiny new system. What does this mean for you, the gamer? For all intents and purposes, your growing fear of having to shell out for another system should be put to rest. Developers have said that they have barely begun to tap into the wealth of potential that each system develops, with many having projects with release windows of 2013 and beyond. The holidays so far have been very profitable for Microsoft, Sony, and even Nintendo, whose 3DS system

is finally finding its legs behind a reduced price tag and the introduction of a few killer apps. To plant the seed of a successor to any system during this time, which has always been a key few months for the video game world, is counter-productive at best. In short: don’t fret if you already purchased a shiny new toy for a friend or family member, and don’t be reticent to do so if you haven’t. The systems that we have come to know and love are going to be around for a good while.

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

The Holidaze The Pumpkin Spice Peppermint Egg-Nogg Frapp-o-Lattes are starting to loose their effect, so you’ve switched to Evernog (Everclear and eggnog). You are also beginning to get that vacant glazed-over look as your brain starts to shut down in order to protect itself from those insanely repetitious holidays-on-steroids television commercials trying to sell you everything from gold plated vacuums to animated 3D fireplaces. However, deep down you know it’s too late as you find yourself humming fragment tunes from those over played Christmas music techno remixes and you can’t stop the visions of Claymated Beiber dancing with a half-naked Mariah Carey in your head. It’s 3pm and you find yourself still in your pjs baking cookies and making plans you can’t commit to with relatives you’ve successfully avoided for the last 364 days. And you’ve stuffed yourself with so much holiday candy that your farts smell like peppermint bark. You feel like if you leave the house your world would surely come crumbling down around you. Well, either that or you could possibly get run over by an over-stressed mother of four in an SUV. No wonder that guy sang, “there’s no place like home for the holidays!” What is it about the Christmas holidays that make people exhibit symptoms of a lobotomy? I am talking about the lethargy, lack of motivation, an unhealthy obsession with routine, difficulty forming coherent sentences and occasionally drooling on oneself--thank goodness for that Snuggie you got for Christmas last year! Is it seasonal affective disorder? Is there a toxicity effect from all those Frapp-o-Lattes? Or maybe it’s all the decorations? When I say decorations I’m not referring to the sparkly lights or Christmas trees, but rather that wilty, pathetic seasonal shrub known as the Poinsettia. I real-

By Jesse Whitman jwhitman00@gmail.com

ize you might mistake me for talking about the poinsettia plant, but no. I’m talking about those middle-aged women over-clad in Christmas ornaments that dangle precariously from hapless frumpy sweaters and festoon all semi-stable surfaces with seasonal baubles. I have no love for the poinsettia plant either, mind you. To me the middle-aged woman and the plant share many similarities. Both lack a central nervous system, require some watering and are basically lackluster, shapeless shrubs that have gone to seed only blooming for a few weeks during the holidays. We all have Poinsettias in our lives this time of year, and there is no use reasoning with them. But when you hear them say, “My goodness! Just look at that plastic angel ornament drowned in glitter! Isn’t that just precious!” back away and don’t let them hotglue it to your forehead! The Poinsettia phenomenon could also explain the many unwanted gifts that people will surely get this Christmas. Lobotomized and pre-programmed to shop, invariably, the ugly Christmas sweater and the unwanted cheap plastic crap from WalMart get stuffed into stockings--” Gee, thanks Uncle Frank. Despite the many times I’ve told you how happy I was with my watch you still went out and bought me this cheap Rolex knock off.” But there’s no use in being honest about how much you loath the various cheap pieces of crap that speak volumes of how little your loved ones know and understand you, otherwise you’ll hurt their feelings. Your uncle will likely guzzle down a bottle of rot-gut wine and sulk in the basement for the rest of the evening. The Holidaze are no time for honesty, in fact there is really no point to brain function either. So, embrace it, turn off your brain if it hasn’t already done so for you and pour yourself another Evernog! Follow blitz weekly on twitter and facebook

December 21 – January 3, 2012

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

The Five Albums of 2011 Worth Giving (or Receiving)

Hip Hop Holiday Trax

Of course you’ll be buying music as gifts this holiday season. The charts are popping with examples of holiday cheer, with Michael Buble’s “Christmas” as the leader of the pack, and Justin Bieber’s surprising flop, “Under the Mistletoe” somewhere down the line, not to mention the masses of music released throughout the rest of the year. Your fifteen year old nephew’s text-ready fingers may fumble at first to open up a real CD case, but that doesn’t mean that giving music (holiday or not) isn’t a good choice for gifts. Whether you’re shopping for family, friends, romantic partners or, hell, yourself, there’s legitimate music out there for everyone.

By Keysha Hogan @TheKeysha

By Mateeka Lanee’ Mateekalanee.wordpress.com

Some people prefer quaint and traditional holiday music, and others think that’s just corny. Here’s a few Christmas hits from the street to put a little swag in your holiday playlist: Christmas in Harlem Kanye West & Company This laid back holiday hit features a soulful hook from Teyana Taylor and includes verses from Mr. West, Vado, Cam’Ron, Jim Jones, Pusha T, Big Sean, Cyhi Da Prynce and Musiq Soulchild. This modern Christmas jam is a massive collaboration that feels more like a classic mix-tape than a forced holiday release. Ludacrismas Ludacris Not even Santa is safe from the lyrical assault that Luda brings to the table. His unmistakable Atlanta flavor is evident on every verse as he cleverly remixes Doris Day’s version of Here Comes Santa Claus with a tough beat and witty rhymes. Somehow Luda managed to buck the traditional and make this beloved track for people in the streets. Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto Snoop Dogg & Death Row Artists In 1996, Suge Knight got his team together and released the infamous charity album Christmas on Death Row. Snoop Dogg, Tray Deee, Bad Azz and Nate Dogg borrowed the title from James Brown and added that laid back Cali feel. Sleigh Ride TLC T-Boz, Left Eye and Chilli made an R&B meets new jack swing classic with Sleigh Ride. They are still in satin pajamas but this time with Santa hats while the wish all their fans a happy holiday season. The song took off on some radio stations but the title is a bit confusing since the hook fails to mention sleigh rides at all.

21 Adele This is a Grammy-sponge of simple, rich, and often melancholy takes on “love and loss”. I think of her as the female Kings of Leon, whose album “Only By the Night” in 2008 won radio waves and hearts with stories of heartbreak.

Torches Foster the People Possibly the most lovely sleeper hit of 2011, three-year-old band Foster the People released their first album in January, a perfect chemistry experiment of mid-nineties pop and 21st century synth.

Best for: Mom & Dad or The One That Got Away

Best for: Dance-loving college kids and people who drive around with the top down.

Special features: Both the album and one of its singles, “Rolling in the Deep” were named Best of the Year by Rolling Stone. Plus: she has her own app at the Apple store. If that’s not proof of world domination, I don’t know what is. Memorable tracks: “Set Fire to the Rain”, “Rumour Has It”

Santa’s Got A Mutha#$%! Uzi Mr. Lif Do not play this song around your kids! The tune is eerily upbeat and dance worthy while east coast underground artist, Mr. Lif, describes Santa defending his Christmas stash by any means necessary. Mr. Lif usually raps about political injustice, but this time he has made an urban hero out of jolly old Saint Nick. Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Special features: Silly music videos (Gabourey Sidebe of the movie Precious stars in Don’t Stop (Color the Walls). Memorable tracks: “Pumped Up Kicks”; “Houdini”

Undun The Roots Never mind this hip-hop band’s bad musical jokes, aimed at the Republican party on their gig as Jimmy Fallon’s house band; Undun is no more funny than it is “typical” for its genre. I dub it “hip-hop classical”, as it utilizes band instrumentals to carry the sad story of the fictional character Redford Stephens through to the end. Best for: Artsy friends and uppity hip-hop heads Special features: On the Apple store, it’s joined by an app with photo and video that add to the richness of the audio experience. Memorable tracks: “Make My (ft. Big K.R.I.T)”; “The OtherSide”

The Reckoning NeedtoBreathe Until I happened upon the semi-epic anthem that is this album’s second single, “Drive All Night”, I’d never heard of these four dudes from South Carolina. The Reckoning makes their fourth album, and is worth its weight in drum solos. The band comes complete with a grainy-voices singer and dude with long hair. Best for: Rockers who prefer a gentle mosh pit, or those looking to step up from their Nickelback days.

Nothing But the Beat David Guetta Artists from overseas seem to be in vogue these past few years, and there’s no better example than France’s own David Guetta. His third LP, Nothing But the Beat is fresh, super-marketable, and, overall, a really good time. Best for: Those inbetween Techno and Dubstep levels of dance music; anyone between the ages of 13-25.

Special features: The band’s music has made various appearances in films and on TV, including P.S. I Love You and Employee of the Month.

Special features: Appearances by 17 different popular artists, from Taio Cruz to Jennifer Hudson and Afrojack, plus a very special two-disk set you can purchase on iTunes or Guetta’s website.

Memorable tracks: “Drive All Night”; “Maybe They’re On to Us”

Memorable tracks: “Without You (ft. Usher)”; “Sunshine (ft. Avicii)”

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

Q: How are women and rocks alike? A: You skip the flat ones!

Blitz Funnys

Takes No Money to Waste Money Though the U.S. government was over $15 trillion dollars (i.e. $15,000,000,000,000) in debt in 2011, it allowed the treasury to continue minting to more than 1 billion, the very unpopular, one-dollar coins. And, though these coins could save $5.6 billion over 30 years in reprinting of the $1 bill (which lasts only about 42-months in circulation), storage of these shunned, unused coins means building a new vault in Dallas ($650,000), with security shipping to cost an additional $3 million. (Look it up yourself. Wow! - While taxpayers lose their homes to pay their taxes.)

Late Night Drink A middle-aged woman wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her husband at the kitchen table drinking whiskey. She asks, “Why are you up so late at night?” The man takes another drink and replies, “Do you remember when you were 16 and we first started dating?” She is amazed that he is thinking of such a thing so late at night and replies, “Yes I do, dear.” He takes another drink and continues, “Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car and he told me either I marry you or go to jail for 20 years? Well, today I would have gotten out!”

Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 You’re not only a loser but will become the subject of many jokes when you lose $800 to Stevie Wonder in a craps game this holiday season. Capricorn December 22 – January 19 After several years of friendship with your neighbors you suddenly realize how much better your yard would look with their heads mounted on the fence posts. Aquarius January 20 – February 18 Though you’re usually tight with the boss, he finally confronts you about wasting the company’s marketing budget on all those 900 numbers.

Pisces February 19 – March 20 You in fact do not inspire Peggy to help you replace your stolen credit card. Aries March 21 – April 19 The ghost of Barbara Streisand possesses you and forces you to rent Yentl this weekend. Taurus April 20 – May 20 You’ll end up alone this weekend after trying to pick up that girl at the Stars game by telling her your other ride really is a zamboni.

Pre-hatched Kidnappings News from Europe, Dec. 14, 2011, tells of Matthew Gonshaw’s love for eggs. Recently, he’d been forced to appear before a London judge, charged with stealing 700 eggs from the nests of ospreys, avocets and golden eagles. Prosecutor Becky Owen said his actions “caused untold damage to wildlife in the U.K.” Another Bad Hair Day Did you ever receive a bad haircut? If so, did it make you mad? And, if so, then, you might understand Benjie Lozada, after a trim by his London barber, causing friends to laugh, causing him to kill his “style abuser” with a knife. Next, while Lozada’s mother visited with him in jail, the dead barber’s brother brought him food, inside his cell, so he could shoot him to death. Which he did.

Gemini May 21 – June 21 Your bungled suicide attempt will go unnoticed after sitting in your car while it’s running at the park. Enjoy the walk home!

Virgo August 23 – September 22 You discover a new incurable STD this weekend when you hook up with that bar whore! Smile…they’ll name it after you!

Cancer June 22 – July 22 Even though you think you look cool wearing your skinny jeans you really do not have “Moves Like Jagger”.

Libra September 23 – October 22 The stars suggest you should become more sensitive. We suggest starting with paper cuts at the next staff meeting.

Leo July 23 – August 22 Your obsession with the Kardashians ends next week when you realize that you are not one of them.

ACROSS: 1. Overtake 5. Slang for money 10. Not sweet 14. Countertenor 15. American symbol 16. River of Spain 17. Bias 19. Keen 20. Doctor’s group 21. Coarse edible red seaweed 22. Operatic solos 23. Allegiance 25. Juliet’s love 27. Effeminate 28. Timetable 31. Clairvoyants 34. Concatenation 35. Seed 36. Angel’s headwear

37. Muse of love poetry 38. If not 39. East southeast 40. Incline 41. Stratum 42. Lessen 44. Tavern 45. Adolescents 46. A way through 50. Tapestry 52. Alerts 54. Bleat 55. Razzes 56. Tediously repetitious 58. Cocoyam 59. Delete 60. Axlike tool 61. Adolescent 62. Lazybones 63. Rind

Scorpio October 23 – November 21 The love of your life will leave you this week when you confuse Jonah Hill and Zach Galifianakis for the 100th time.

DOWN: 1. Pontifical 2. San Antonio fort 3. Roam 4. Drunkard 5. A very attractive woman 6. Come from behind 7. Auspices 8. Quarrel 9. Former North African ruler 10. Charred 11. Plainly 12. Murres 13. Fishing poles 18. Runs in neutral 22. Ends a prayer 24. Hairdo 26. Buckeye State 28. Appearance

29. Fail to win 30. Pitcher 31. Outbuilding 32. Leisure 33. Anode or cathode 34. A type of puzzle 37. Distinctive flair 38. Hearing organs 40. Views 41. Lariat 43. A rational motive 44. Light teasing repartee 46. Nonpoetic writing 47. Domicile 48. A type of bandage 49. Artist’s workstand 50. Assist in crime 51. Was a passenger 53. A Freudian stage 56. Japanese apricot 57. Short sleep

Solution on Page 18

Q: Why is John Elway jealous of Tim Tebow? A: Tebow is the most talked-about white Bronco since the O.J. Simpson chase.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue.

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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December 21 – January 3, 2012

The CLOSER

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

2011’s Biggest Winners

Macanudo Cru Royale Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Binder: Dominican Filler: Dominican & Nicaraguan Viso Strength: Medium Created by master blender Benjamin Menendez, the Cru Royale offers a dark, rustic, rich, oily Ecuadorian Habano wrapper. This stick has a nice sweetness throughout with toasted nut, roasted coffee, chocolate and dark fruit flavors with an ever so slight pepper spice component. It isn’t a complex smoke but has a nice medium finish. The Kasbah Ingredients: 1 oz Russian Standard Vodka 1 Dash Sesame Seeds 2 Cloves 1.8 oz Fresh Watermelon .7 oz Cointreau 1 Dash Campari

If I am going to write a column profiling ten of the biggest losers of 2011 then I guess, to be fair, I need to cough up a column profiling who I thought were the year’s ten biggest winners, in a few cases “heroes.” The following is who made my personal list thus proving that perhaps the year was not a total loss.

Battle Los Angeles: My goal was ‘I want to make a war movie with aliens’. Not an alien movie that happens to have soldiers…there’s an ‘incidental-ness’ to the aliens,” said director Jonathan Liebesman of his alien invasion film, Battle Los Angeles in an interview on www.darkhorizons.com. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords: “I will get stronger. I will return.” Such were the words Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords wrote in the last chapter of her book, Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope authored by Giffords and her astronaut husband Mark Kelly on her plans to one day return to Congress.

The United States of America: If you have no idea why on the night of May 1, 2011 crowds formed outside the White House in Washington and at Ground Zero in celebration then you either have no idea what happened more than 10 years ago on Sept. 11, 2001 and who was responsible, you are not a true American, you either don’t have Internet access or a television or are too poor to own one or you simply don’t care. Seal Team 6: Osama bin Laden’s demise would not have been possible were it not for the elite special forces group sent in who are unofficially known as “Seal Team 6.” The 53 Percent: According to Sir Isaac Newton’s Third Law of Motion, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” There are a lot of reasons why “The 53%” came into being as a result of The Occupy Movement protesters.

Mixing Instructions: Muddle sesame seeds, cloves, and watermelon in a mixing glass. Add remaining liquids and shake over crushed ice. Then strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a kumquat.

Tim Tebow: The Denver Broncos quarterback is not so much known for his plays on the field as he is known for his “Tebowing” where he gets down on one knee to pray before, during and after a football game. Now everyone seems to be doing it or criticizing it. FX’s American Horror Story: The Black Dahlia, Rubber Man, a serial killer in a pig mask, ghost sex, kinky sex, family dysfunction, The Vatican. Such are the ingredients found in FX’s psychologically twisted, often disturbing supernatural TV series about a married couple who, along with their daughter move into a Los

ABC’s Once Upon A Time and Revenge: What did the creators behind the modern day fairy tale Once Upon A Time and Revenge about a young woman plotting her wrath against the rich and powerful who ruined her family when she was a young girl get right that ABC ordered up a an entire first season of both shows? Boo: The World’s Cutest Dog: I am sure there a lot of cute dogs out there. What makes this fiveyear-old Pomeranian with a smile and a funny looking haircut so special that he has his own Facebook page of close to 2,600,000 followers and counting and a book called Boo: The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog? I just know if I had a dog like Boo he’d be the ultimate babe magnet for picking up women.

The Texas Rangers: No they did not win the World Series again this year but to me, that doesn’t matter. They managed to get there in back-to-back years and that alone still makes them winners in my book.

BLITZ salutes the movers, the shakers, the fearless, and the incredible that DFW has to offer. You may not have heard of them yet - but you will.

Name: Shaun Neinast Team: Dallas Vintage Toys Stats: Collector of the uniquely awesome and protector of childhood nostalgia. Shaun is the ultimate curator of DFW’s vintage fun. Day Job I am the owner of Dallas Vintage Toys and I get to deal with toys from the early 1900s to present day. We mainly focus on Action Figures from the 1960s to the late 1980s. We have been in business for over 3 1/2 years and love every minute of it. First toy that you really loved? I would have to say Lego. I grew up with HE-MAN, MA.S.K., GI Joes and so many other awesome

Visit us online at www.Blitzweekly.com

Angeles home only to discover the place is anything but sweet.

toys from the best era of action figures. How do you know when you hit the toy jackpot? We know what to look for and we always pay fair prices, because you never know if the customer has more items or knows of others that may want to sell. We have had several great finds, one was a carded double telescoping 12 Back 1977 Luke Skywalker, only a hand full of these exist and we sold it for $7000. What’s the “Holy Grail” toy you are still looking for? I would like to own a Star Wars Glasslite Droids Vlix figure, a loose one sells for $5000 and carded examples for up to $15000.

Favorite cartoon? The 1980s GI Joe series. What’s the biggest difference between new toys and old ones? I believe the nogstalia from the old school toys is hard to beat, they did such great jobs on the sculpts and they are very playable. One book that left an impression on you? Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap…and Others Don’t by Jim Collins Best advice you’ve ever given? Collect what you like and makes you happy. More interviews at: BlitzWeekly.com

Pyramid Snow Cap Brewed by: Pyramid Breweries, Inc. ABV: 7.00% The last of our holiday brews just for you! Pours a deep mahogany color with little head and almost no lacing. Enjoy the big hops and malts with hints of citrus and caramel. The flavor is balanced with piney hops and sweetness. It is full bodied with medium carbonation. Get a six pack for Christmas Day!

By Joe Stumpo www.darthstumpo.com

VOL. 4 – ISSUE 16

December 21 – January 3, 2012

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