Blitz Weekly

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VOL. 2 - ISSUE 40

June 2 - 8, 2010 3

BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile/Movie Review Music: RATT – Infestation Rangers/AirHogs/Vigilantes News A Woman’s HSO MMA in Arlington Firestone 550 Preview COVER STORY: 2010 NBA Finals Great NBA Finals Performances Celtics vs Lakers Preview BLITZ BABE: Jennifer The Drug War on Our Border Pt. 2 Joe’s Pizza, Pasta & Subs Blitz Toys The Fan Top 10 with Sybil Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: Now…You’re an All-Star

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PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Keith Allison Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Photographers: Keith Allison, Gloria Brumagen, Yu-Ping Chen, Dennis Hambright, Steve Lipofsky, Joe Lorenzini, Galak Siafervojo STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Brian Beard, Kris Boudreau, Travis L. Brown, Geoff Case, Dennis Hambright, Jason Miller, Chris Robinson ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029

www.blitzweekly.com

Photo Courtesy: Steve Lipofsky

Copyright 2010 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www.blitzweekly.com.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK “Just play. Have fun. Enjoy the game.” -- Michael Jordan

Sleeping Woman Left On Plane Airline officials are trying to figure out how a sleeping passenger was left aboard a flight for four hours after it landed in Philadelphia. According to police and the Transportation Security Administration, the passenger didn’t wake up when her United Express flight from Dulles airport outside Washington landed shortly after midnight last Tuesday. At about 4 a.m., a cleaning crew found her. United Airlines says they’re working with a regional partner carrier to determine why the plane wasn’t cleared upon landing.

Banned Gambler Has To Give Back Jackpot A Pennsylvania man who won a $2,001 slot machine jackpot must forfeit the winnings and will be charged with trespassing. He had previously banned himself from casinos under a state program for problem gamblers. State police have not identified the 55-yearold Waterford Township man who won the jackpot last Friday at Erie’s Presque Isle Downs & Casino. Under the Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board’s selfexclusion program, problem gamblers can choose to ban themselves from casinos for one year, five years or for life. Banned players are charged with criminal trespass if they enter a casino and must forfeit any winnings. The money goes to a compulsive and problem gambler treatment fund.

Alaska Police Puzzled By Headless Chickens Alaska State Troopers are puzzled by a gruesome discovery in the city of North Pole: 26 headless chickens carefully arranged at a coop. Police say the flyinfested carcasses found last Monday were arranged in a 12- to 15foot-long line pattern that ended in a circle. There was no sign of the missing heads. Three chickens were left unharmed, and there was no damage to the coop. Trooper spokeswoman Megan Peters said officers “have no idea what the thought process was.” They say there’s a possibility that the killings were intended as a threat. Those responsible could be charged with felony criminal mischief. The birds were unsuitable for eating, so investigators disposed of the chickens after photographing the scene.

Andrew J. Hewett

PEOPLE WHO’VE BUMPED THEIR HEADS ON CEILINGS

www.chewednews.com

May 25, 2010, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported a resident of Rochester, Minnesota, Igor Vovkovinskiy, was confirmed as America’s tallest person, standing 7’ 8.33”. Still, it only made him the world’s second tallest, with Sultan Kosen of Turkey winning with 8’ 1”. The tallest human recorded in modern history was Robert Wadlow, of Alton, Ill. When he died from an infection in 1940, at age 22, he stood 8’ 11.1”.

THESE 6 CHICKEN NUGGETS WERE WORTH $583.33 EACH?

The Dallas Morning News reported May 25, 2010, a homeless man, 22year-old Marquis Marsh, had been arrested, charged with attempting to steal six chicken nuggets from the counter of a Wendy’s restaurant. He’d also scuffled with the manager, causing his bail from jail to be set at $3,500.

GIVE HIM AN IN(HELL)ER

“Will that gas bother my asthma?”Asked by Luis Jose Monge, at Colorado State Prison in 1967, awaiting death by gas for the murders of his wife and three children. He was also the last inmate executed before an unofficial moratorium on executions began in the United States in 1972.


blitzweekly.com

4 June 2 - 8, 2010

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE

BLITZREVIEWS By: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com

with Jackie Chan

by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

The Cinemark 17 parking lot was filled with Dragon dancers, martial artists displaying different styles of Kung Fu and hundreds of area school children last week as part of the red carpet screening of the new Karate Kid movie starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. The event, which was presented by the Dallas Film Society, had all the pomp and circumstance of a Hollywood premiere! Local celebrities, including Mark Cuban, Marty Turco and Emmitt Smith, brought their families out to enjoy all the festivities. The crowd reached a fevered pitch when the black SUV caravan arrived with Will and Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan. The trio greeted fans, posed for pictures and signed autographs. I had the chance to talk with Jackie Chan, who I must say is absolutely one of the nicest people you could ever meet!

I read that when producers were discussing who to cast as the mentor in this film, Mr. Han (the Mr. Miyagi of the original Karate Kid movie) you were really the only choice they could envision in the role. How does that make you feel? Really? That is wonderful. Thank you to Sony and the producers of the movie. It was a terrific experience, and they just let me do what I love to do.

What does your character, Mr. Han, try to teach his young protégé? That martial arts is not about beating people up and hurting people. It is to protect people. That’s why when he comes to China and there is trouble and he has some problems, he always wants to kick somebody’s butt and just get revenge, but after I teach him all the principles, he comes to understand that martial arts is not about hurting people, but protecting people.

What was it like working with Jaden Smith on this movie? He is a truly delightful young man. Very profes-

sional and very disciplined. I loved getting to know him and working with him in the movie. I’ve never seen a child that’s as clever as Jaden is. He learned whatever I taught him. I mean, I’d show him something, and boom, he got it right away.

The original Karate Kid had such a powerful message of hope and perseverance. What do you hope this movie leaves with viewers? I hope through Jaden, through the movie, through Will Smith the producer, through me to introduce what martial arts is about and what the movie is about. What China is about. I think it is a good movie. Karate Kid opens in theatres nationwide on June 11. The film is rated PG for bullying, martial arts action violence and some mild language. For all of this week’s new releases and more of your favorite celebs, check out my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Cable Video on Demand under the North Texas programming tab! Email me your favorite Jackie Chan movie to trivia@reelcriticstv.com for your chance to win a pair of free movie tickets to the Studio Movie Grill!

MacGruber

Here is an example of the kind of gutter bathroom humor you will find in MacGruber. In one scene, as a means to distract the bad guys, ex-Green Beret, Navy Seal, Army Ranger MacGruber (Will Forte) strips naked and does a little dance with a stick of celery sticking out of his ass. In the next scene, once the bad guys have been taken out, MacGruber, this time back in civilian clothes, chomps down on that same stick of celery, which his partner and perhaps love interest Vicki St. Elmo (Kristen Wiig) calls gross. “Relax, I washed it,” MacGruber says as he takes another bite. I laughed once while watching MacGruber and that was when the clueless government agent says to one of his special ops experts (Ryan Phillippe), “You’re loco, man!” We see a translation at the bottom of the screen that says, “You’re crazy, man!” Now you might not find that as funny as the previous scene I described in the first paragraph, but at least it had nothing to do with any humor below the waist, which is all MacGruber-the movie is. The villain who MacGruber is assigned to take out is called Dieter Von Cunth, played by a surprisingly pudgy Val Kilmer, who has plans to wipe out the entire United States government with a missile when the president makes his speech before congress. Given the film’s bathroom humor, I suspect there is only

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one reason why Kilmer’s character is called “Cunth.” It’s so MacGruber can utter the same word numerous times but without the “h” at the end. MacGruber only appeals to two kinds of viewers. The first are those adults, who as kids, failed to pass kindergarten and bribed teachers to pass them through grade school. To this day, they probably still find such scenes laugh-out-loud funny as seeing a guy urinate on the villain’s burning corpse near the end, have sex with the ghost of his dead wife (Maya Rudolph) at a cemetery, asking someone to either suck his you know what or say to someone how honored they’d be if they were asked to suck someone else’s you know what and drawing pictures of taking a dump on someone they don’t like. The second group, and apparently there must be a very small miniscule group of people out there given the film’s office take of just $4 million opening weekend at number 6 (not good for a debut), appeals only to those familiar with Forte’s character on Saturday Night Live. There is only one person to blame for this latest unnecessary SNL turned movie idea’s box office failure and that lies solely on the shoulders of Forte, who also wrote the screenplay. As his character says when taken off the case by his superior officer (Powers Boothe), “I have only myself to blame.”


June 2 - 8, 2010 5 blitzweekly.com

Ratt - Ratt & Roll 8191

4. Lovin’ You’s A Dirty Job

Ratt - Detonator

5. Slip Of The Lip

by: Jason Miller “Music Enthusiast”

Instrumental in the formation of the early ‘80s hard rock and glam metal scene, RATT has sold over 20 million records worldwide. That is an incredible number for a hard rock artist and pretty much unheard of for anyone these days. The band is influenced by ‘70s hard rock and glam bands such as Aerosmith, Sweet, Van Halen and Kiss. They fused this style with a harder metal edge citing such bands as Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. During the band’s peak, they made the masterpiece Out of the Cellar; which is today widely regarded as the band’s best work and a definitive moment in ‘80s heavy metal. If you missed them in their heyday, there’s a second wave currently in effect. RATT has just released Infestation, their first new album in 11 years. It’s not just everyday fans who are excited about it – famous people are too. At a record release party on the Sunset Strip, Tom Morello, Atreyu, celebrities, porn stars and many others came out to watch the group perform five brand new songs in front of a sold-out crowd. I recently spoke with lead guitarist and virtuoso Warren DeMartini about RATT past and present. What’s the most unusual place you have heard your music? I was doing a tour with another band (Whitesnake) in 1994 and we were in St. Petersburg, Russia, and someone was playing RATT on a boombox outside of the hotel. RATT played Madison Square Garden, correct? That was during the Invasion of Your Privacy tour. My mom flew in for that, my brother; it was a very special night for us. Talking with Ahmet Ertegun (then President of Atlantic Records), me, my mom and Ahmet. It was definitely a very surreal night for us. When the band wrote” Round and Round,” did you have any idea the impact that the song would have on music in general? Not at all--when we wrote that song, it was just the three of us in what we named RATT Mansion West. It was a one bedroom apartment in North Culver City. Robin Crosby, Stephen Pearcy and I lived there. It was just a typical afternoon just sitting around playing guitar and I had those parts. Robin helped arrange it and he actually had the bridge part, the “I knew right from the beginning” part as I think it was a piece of music from another song he had going and then Stephen was just sort of scatting over the top of it. We had no idea where that song would take us. Looking back on it, it wasn’t something that was difficult to work up. It was very natural and it was just sort of there one day. Your music was used in both The Golden Child and Point Break, which one did you think was better? Point Break for sure. Robin, Stephen and I went to high schools that were really close to the ocean and I was very much a part of that culture. I really relate to a lot of characters in that movie. It’s a great film and I am glad we did that song for it. It’s one of my favorite songs to play. I think it’s something that worked inadvertently with the film.

Ratt - Ratt & Roll 8191

6. Wanted Man

Ratt - Ratt & Roll 8191

7. Way Cool Jr.

Ratt - Reach for the Sky

8. One Good Lover

Ratt - Dancing Undercover

9. Sweet Cheater

Ratt - self-titled

10. Dangerous But Worth The Risk

Ratt - Invasion Of Your Privacy

Thur Jun 3

Ratt - Out of the Cellar

3. Lay It Down

Brave Combo Dallas Arboretum Grammy award winner Brave Combo incorporates a number of dance styles- polka, rumba, cha-cha-cha, samba, two-step, merengue-while performing well-known songs with a sense of humor. 7:30 p.m.

Fri Jun 4

Get Infested An Interview with Warren DeMartini

A Photographer’s Story The Sixth Floor Museum – Dallas Featuring two decades of work by Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Bob Jackson, this special exhibit highlights Jackson’s personal perspective of three chaotic days in November 1963. Using photographs, artifacts and film footage, the exhibit includes images of local protests, school integration and Beatlemania.

Party at the Park Lonestar Park – Grand Prarie This Friday night concert series features a different band every week throughout the summer and $1 select beers in the Courtyard of Champions from 7 to 10 p.m. This week features the Steve Helms band. Entry into the park is $5.

Sat Jun 5

2. Back For More

Wed Jun 2

Midlake Palladium Ballroom – Dallas This local rock band continues to be the talk of the town. See what all the buzz is about. The show starts at 8 p.m.

Sun Jun 6

Ratt - Out of the Cellar

Texas Scottish Festival and Highland Games UTA – Arlington Hearty food, beer and bagpipes! What else do you need? This is the 24th year the games have been held. The festival runs Friday, Saturday and Sunday. For event schedule and tickets, visit www.texasscottishfestival.com.

Mon Jun 7

“In the Biz” Night Texas de Brazil – Cedar Springs Road, Dallas Every Monday (5 - 10 p.m.), those who work in the hospitality business get $10 off the regular dinner price. Just present an industry ID or paycheck stub.

Tue Jun 8

Photo Courtesy: Roadrunner Records

MUSIC: Ratt Mix 1. Round And Round

Were you guys surprised with how well the new record has been received by critics and fans alike? It was a pleasant surprise that it was received so well. We had a little bit of a tip as the CD went out to reviewers about a month before release and the preliminary reports were that they liked what they were hearing so we had a bit of an indicator on that. There’s nothing like it actually coming out and doing well, we are very happy about everything.

Exit 380 Lakewood Theater – Dallas Exit 380 formed in Denton in 1999. This traveling rock band has polished it’s live act on the road through continous touring & gigging. Exit 380’s style is a combination of rock, alternative & blues.

RATT will head to Europe in June then head back to the States for a full tour with the Scorpions. Find out more at www.therattpack.com. Read the interview in its entirety at blitzweekly.com.

If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com


RANGERS:News

by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

Injuries Mounting, Hunter Could Return ‘Hogs Bats are Red-Hot! The Texas Rangers have struggled this year on the road. They are 8-15 away from Arlington this season. Last week, they went 1-4 on road trips to Kansas City and Minnesota. After being swept by the Twins Sunday night, they now trail the Oakland A’s by half a game for first place. Sunday was a bad day overall for the team. Earlier in the day, Nelson Cruz was placed on the DL for the second time this season. His power in the lineup will be missed. He is currently third in All-Star voting for American League outfielders. David Murphy will get most of his starts in right field and will need to be effective at the plate. Vladimir Guerrero will also see some time in right field. Craig Gentry was called up to take his spot on the roster. It comes as no surprise that Guerrero currently leads all designated hitters in All-Star voting. He is probably the best Rangers pick up in years. Derek Holland was pulled in the second

inning of Sunday’s game after experiencing numbness in his hand. He told the umpire he could not feel the ball. This poses a problem to the starting rotation that is having problems going deep into games. No word on how serious the injury is. I hope he doesn’t have to miss any time. If he does, we may be seeing Tommy Hunter make his Rangers season debut. They now will play a three-game series at the Chicago White Sox starting Tuesday. They then will return home for a three-game series against the best team in baseball right now, the Tampa Bay Rays. Saturday night, they will be giving away Red Texas t-shirts to the first 20,000 fans 14 and over. Sunday it’s red Ian Kinsler jersey day for the first 8,500 kids (13 and under).

VIGILANTES:News

by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

Vigilantes Get a New Head Coach

Photo Courtesy: Joe Lorenzini

AIRHOGS:News

The sideline debacle in the closing seconds of the Chicago game apparently cost coach Rich Ingold his job. Ingold and defensive back Eddie Moten were involved in a shouting match that resulted in both having to be restrained from going after each other several times. He was hard on his players and let them have it when under-performing. This resulted in many guys not wanting to even play for him. Last Monday, the team announced he had been dismissed as coach and replaced by assistant head coach and defensive coordinator James Fuller. Fuller has been an Arena Football coach for twelve years and was on the staff for the Philadelphia Soul and the Dallas Desperados. Saturday night, they played the Milwaukee Iron at the Bradley Center, who lead the league in yards per game and are second in points scored. The Vigilantes were confident and focused. Derek Lee scored on a short pass but Dallas trailed after the

first quarter 7-13 and seemed to be putting up a fight on defense. Kenny Henderson, the guy who does a little of everything, scored to make it 14-20. Dallas seemed poised to make a comeback when they stopped the high powered offense of the Iron near the end of the first half. Collin Drafts fumble in the closing minutes led to a Milwaukee 17-27 halftime lead. The third quarter saw any chances Dallas had to win begin to slip away. Henderson did score again, but after three, trailed 2443. The fourth quarter, their defense was nonexistent and the final score was an ugly 38-63. Henderson had a great night scoring 4 touchdowns and now leads the team with 15. It was a frustrating night for Vigilantes fans as the live online video feed had technical difficulties and couldn’t be shown. Dallas will be back home this Saturday night to face Bossier-Shreveport.

The Grand Prairie AirHogs are all about exciting baseball in 2010, winning their third game in walk off fashion this week. This past Saturday, pinch hitter Robert Perry roped a liner down the third base line, scoring the game winning run for the ‘Hogs. The league leader board has been full of AirHogs in 2010, with three staying in the top ten to date. Greg Porter, last week’s Pointstreak Batter of the Week, now sits at second in the league batting .406. Saturday night’s hero Robert Perry sits at third, batting an even .400, despite missing a few games due to injury. Grand Prairie infielder David Espinosa sits third batting .393. The AirHogs welcomed former TCU, Rice, and Texas Tech coach Lance Brown to the Grand Prairie coaching staff this week. The coach with the most wins in TCU history will work with the AirHogs pitching staff. The ‘Hogs also had exciting promotions to match the exciting baseball on the field. Last Thursday was the first Thirsty Thursday at the park, featuring $1 beer. Saturday was the second post game fireworks show. The AirHogs return to action at QuikTrip Park Wednsday against their cross town rivals, the Fort Worth Cats. First pitch is at 7:05 p.m.

by: Travis L. Brown AirHogs Media

Photo Courtesy: Gloria Brumagen

Photo Courtesy: Galak Siafervojo

blitzweekly.com

6 June 2 - 8, 2010


June 2 - 8, 2010 7

And I’m not the one who started out with millions of dollars and spent it unwisely! I’m just someone who encountered periods of employment! So now it’s come out that former NBA All-Star Antoine Walker has filed

for personal bankruptcy due to debt from unpaid casino loans. He made over $100 million during his career, but he only has $4.3 million in assets (and over $12 million in debt). Walker has been in the headlines in

LeBron Does Dallas? LeBron James to the Mavs sounds really nice. Instantly, we would have the best two Mavs players of all time on the same team. He is the King of the 2010 NBA free agent list and would make almost any team instant championship caliber. Mark Cuban has talked about the thought of James coming to Dallas. It cost him a mere $100,000 (which is like $5 to me). James wants to win a championship, but it will be hard to lure him away from his hometown of Cleveland. It would have to be a sign and trade for Dallas to have a chance which would leave Cleveland with something in return. They could trade Caron Butler, Rodrique Beaubois and the expiring contract of Eric Dampier (an instant $13 million dollars savings to the new team). Most teams will not offer their best players in a sign

and trade so Damp’s contract is an added bonus. The Mavs have won more total regular season games the last five years than anyone in the league, so just imagine what they could do with James. Dirk will be back; not much to worry about there. Two MVP’s on the same team would be unstoppable. Cut all the crap about Dirk choking in the playoffs, he averages 25.6 for his career in the playoffs. James already won a gold medal with Kidd at point guard. James was amazed at this year’s NBA All-Star game in Jerryworld and is also a big Cowboys fan. I think a few Mavs games could be arranged there with his addition. No state taxes! I think Cleveland is the odds on favorite to have James in uniform next year. They had the best record in the league two seasons in a row and he is a hometown guy.

by: Jennifer Wayne “Foxie and Fired Up”

the past year for being detained in Reno for lack of payment on markers taken out at casinos in Las Vegas. He avoided criminal prosecution on almost $800,000 in unpaid gambling debts by agreeing to make payments to the Las Vegas District Attorney’s Office. Yet, he has no job! How did they think he was going to magically come up with this money? Well maybe he could save it up by cutting back on his “living expenses.” Walker told the court he and his family spend almost $80,000 a month in routine living expenses. Really??? You’re telling me that he couldn’t maybe just spend $20,000 a month on “living” and use the other 60 grand to pay off his debt? What a crock! Walker should be thrown in jail for being stupid! The court should make him work at Wal-Mart as a greeter to pay off his debt. Then he could come down here with the common folks and see what it really means to struggle with money. by: Craig Smith “Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

The Cavs can pay him more than anyone else. Chicago is where Obama thinks he would fit in well with Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah. Shouldn’t he be working on that Healthcare reform thing? He would always have to live up to comparisons of Jordan in the Windy City. If Noah is your third best player, you are not going to win a championship. Why would he go to the New York Knicks who haven’t even been to the playoffs since 2003-2004? The Big Apple is more like applesauce. They do have a nice player in David Lee, but they also have Tracy McGrady who can’t stay healthy. Why go there? Just because it’s a big city? Unless he wants to be big buddies with Knicks superfan Spike Lee. Hopefully, Mark Cuban can pull of the trade of the century and we can soon hang our first Championship banner.

NBA: Boston vs Los Angeles Thur, June 3 – 8:00 PM – Staples Center – ABC This will be the 12th time that these rivals have met, with the Celtics winning 9 of them, the last one back in 2008. Do Kobe and the Lakers have the gusto to prevent the Celtics from hitting 10?

MLB: Tampa Bay vs Texas Fri, June 4 – 7:05 PM – Ballpark in Arlington – TX21 The ups and downs of the Rangers seem to be more down as of late. Letting first place slide to the A’s and the struggles of the starting rotation are just the beginning. If you’re a Rangers fan, this is nothing new. Hopefully, the Rangers can get their stride back and steal a few wins from a very impressive first place Tampa Bay team.

IRL: Texas Firestone 550k Sat, June 5 – 7:30 PM – Texas Motor Speedway – Versus Qualifying for the IZOD IndyCar Series, followed by the WinStar World Casino 400k – the first of two stops for the Camping World Truck Series at Texas Motor Speedway. The weekend concludes with “America’s Original Nighttime IndyCar Race,” the Firestone 550k, which will mark the 21st IndyCar Series race at Texas Motor Speedway.

NHL: Philadelphia vs Chicago Sun, June 6 – 7:00 PM – United Center – NBC Chicago is out in front leading the series for the Cup 2-0 but the Flyers are never more dangerous than when they are backed into a corner. Ask the Red Wings how starting out the Cup series 20 worked out last year. You could say that’s why this series is best of 7.

Crossword Solution This Week

Photo Courtesy: Keith Allison

I don’t think I have one friend who isn’t trying to pay off some sort of debt, whether it be an out-of-control department store credit card or a medical bill. I understand their pain and I don’t think they are bad people for getting behind on their payments. In this economy, it is certainly hard to make ends meet, especially if you have been laid off and are living on unemployment or work in a salesdriven field. Collectors can certainly make you feel like a four-eyed monster when they call you and treat you like you kill small animals because you can’t make a payment. But are celebrities held to those same expectations of paying their bills as the working class? I think not. Just look at the press surrounding the sale of the Rangers. Chapter 11 court proceedings are being sped up and “special deals” and concessions are being made for the bankrupt club. Nobody makes “special deals” for me when I can’t pay my bills!

blitzweekly.com

More Money, More Debt?


Is Miguel’s Career at Stake?

by: Brian Beard “Ultimate Fighter”

In the sport of boxing, a fighter’s time in the spotlight can be very brief. And while former two-time champion Miguel Cotto has been gracing HBO’s airwaves for the past eight years, many consider his career to be at stake when he faces off with newly crowned WBA Jr. Middleweight champion Yuri Foreman this coming Saturday at Yankees Stadium. Cotto has always shown tremendous dedication and excellent skills in all of his outings but his stoppage losses to Antonio Margarito in July of 2007 and Manny

By: Chris Robinson Pacquiao this past November were the type of defeats that can take a lot out of a fighter. In each fight Cotto was left bruised and battered heading into the late rounds and many people are questioning just how much he has left heading into his bout with the Belarus native. Foreman is incidentally tied to Cotto, because just mere hours before Miguel’s loss to Pacquiao, Foreman produced a convincing win over Daniel Santos inside the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Little did we know that Cotto and Foreman would

be clashing with one another down the line but the fight now seems to be on the horizon. When looking at the matchup, the overall vibe among many seems to be that there are a lot of question marks surrounding Cotto at this moment. Coupled with the hard losses he has suffered is the fact that he is again moving up in weight against a man with an elusive and difficult style to figure out. It’s a fight that is far from a given for either man.

Tale Of The Tape

Main Event: June 5th – Yankee Stadium 12 Rounds - World Super Welterweight Championship

UFC VETERAN MAKES HIS RETURN TO THE CAGE IN ARLINGTON Mixed Martial Arts is the fastest growing sport in America and on Saturday, June 5th, the fastest growing sport returns to Arlington. Corona and Back Alley Promotions present Xtreme Knockout 7 full contact pro-cage fighting! XKO will feature ten heart-pounding pro-fights. The pre-fight block party will feature the band Egress, a bikini contest, a live DJ and over 15 MMA vendors. This is an event you do NOT want to miss. XKO features the top MMA fighters and the best local fighters in the state of Texas-the Main Event match will feature UFC and Pride Veteran Anthony “Mad Dog” Macias. The UFC veteran will step into the cage and battle an MMA veteran OX Jones of Houston. Both of these fighters are known for their “anyone-anywhere-anytime” mentality. With experienced veteran fighters in the cage, this main event looks to be the most exciting fight at XKO. XKO 7 will also feature a co-main event with Undefeated XKO veteran Kano Gregoire from the Brazilian Top Team of San Antonio. He will face local Dallas firefighter Brad Cox. Back Alley Promotions has produced over 1,000 live events, including Profes-

sional Championship Wrestling (PCW), which was televised weekly for 3 years on UPN channel 21, featured on MTV and the catalyst for a reality show “The Bussey Bunch” on TLC and the Discovery Channel. XKO 7 promises more exciting action than ever before. XKO is becoming the most recognized MMA organization in the state of Texas with a foundation that provides a safe environment for MMA fighters and quality entertainment for spectators. Come out and be apart of XKO 7 and witness their biggest MMA event to date, featuring ten top pro fights. Beer and concessions will be sold at the event as well as MMA gear, clothing and accessories. XKO will take place at The Gym Combative Sports Arena, a new 26,000 sq. ft. facility located in Arlington. The block party will start at 6 p.m. and the first fight will take place at 8 p.m. The Gym is located at 921 W. Mayfield Rd., Suite #112 - 76015. Tickets on sale now $25 in advance for General Admission and $50 for ringside! VIP tables still available by calling 817-538-7278. For ticket information, visit www.XTREMEKNOCKOUT.com.

Presented By: The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas 817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org

YURI FOREMAN Age: 29 (8-5-80) Birthplace: Gomel, Belarus Record: 28-0, 1 ND, 8 KOs Height: 5’11” Reach: 71” Stance: Righthanded Trainer: Joe Grier World Championship Fights: 1-0, 0 KOs Professional Experience: 29 fights, 179 total rounds, 12 world championship rounds Average Length Of Bouts: 6.1 rounds Knockout Percentage: 28% Distance Fights: 12 rounds (1-0), 10 rounds (8-0) Strengths: Has good skills, speed, and movement; a pure boxer and natural counterpuncher; a hard worker in the gym; always in top condition; very good defensively; experienced against very good opposition

MIGUEL COTTO Age: 29 (10-29-80) Birthplace: Caguas, Puerto Rico Record: 34-2, 27 KOs Height: 5’8” Reach: 67” Stance: Righthanded Trainer: Emanuel Steward World Championship Fights: 14-2, 11 KOs Professional Experience: 36 fights, 236 total rounds, 136 world championship rounds Average Length Of Bouts: 6.5 rounds Knockout Percentage: 79% Distance Fights: 12 rounds (4-1), 11 rounds (3-1), 10 rounds (1-0) Strengths: Has an aggressive style, good skills and movement; an accurate combination puncher with good punching power - at his best; pressures his opponents and wears them down; a good body puncher; poised and polished in the ring; versatile - he can also box and move effectively; naturally lefthanded and can switch effectively to the left-handed stance; always in top condition; tough, durable, and determined; has tremendous heart.

Photo Courtesy: Eddie Boricua & Adam Ritter

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8 June 2 - 8, 2010


June 2 - 8, 2010 9

This is your third appearance at TMS since transitioning to NASCAR, are you looking forward to coming back? Definitely. I love the TMS track and it’s just generally a fun event to participate in. I have done pretty well there the last two times racing in a truck. That gives me a lot of confidence and I am looking forward to hopefully getting another top 5 finish under my belt. What has been your biggest challenge? Just a loss of seat time. The guys I am racing against have been doing this for a long time and unfortunately I am new to this type of racing

and that is just the way it goes. You had a great 11-year run in motocross and won everything in sight. Where would you say you are on the learning curve in trying to become a dominant NASCAR competitor? It’s a tough curve for sure. This is really my first full year out here and I am not one to judge myself. If you look at the competition I am racing against I feel like I am doing pretty well. But we are always wanting to do better. Is there any one thing you are trying to improve on to get in the winner’s circle? Yes. I think I could run my truck a little more free where it does not get so tight in a race situation with the dirty air. That will come with time and more races. Steve Turner and Turner Motorsports are giving me that chance and I just need to make the most of it.

Chad Ochocinco challenged you to an 85 lap race last year. Is it ever going to happen? It got a little fire for a while and I named the place for the race to be held, but it kind of died out. Maybe he has been too busy learning how to dance instead of focusing on auto racing. I plan on reconnecting with him at some point to see if we can make it happen. Good luck next weekend. Any final thoughts for the Blitz readers in DFW? Thanks for the support and I cannot wait to see everyone at TMS next weekend!

The GOAT Looks For His First NASCAR Win At TMS by: Tony Barone

“The Senior Sports Authority”

Do you feel pressure mounting to get that first win? No pressure it will come when it comes but I hope it is sooner rather than later. I put pressure on myself

Firestone 550k Weekend at Texas Motor Speedway

The History of the Race:

to be the best I can be and never give up. Every time I enter a race, I give it 110% percent and I know sooner or later I will get that first win.

The first Championship/Indy car races in North Texas took place at Arlington’s Downs Raceway. AAA sanctioned five races from 1947-1950. Then the USAC sanctioned ten championship car events at Texas World Speedway in College Station. The track closed in 1980, though, and the races ceased until 1997 when the IndyCar Series debuted at the Texas Motor Speedway. The race was a hit...literally. During the race, one of the electronic scoring wires malfunctioned in the pit area, which caused scoring errors. Billy Boat was scored as the leader, and took the checkered flag as the winner. Arie Luyendyk, who felt he was the real winner, stormed victory lane, but was attacked by Boat’s owner, A.J. Foyt. The next day, Luyendyk was declared the official race winner, but Foyt refused to return the trophy. Luyendyk received a duplicate trophy. The real trophy was presented to him by track president Eddie Gossage a few years later. The IndyCar Series races at TMS are now known as the best racing in the series, not for the drama, but for some of the closest two-car and three-car finishes in history.

by: Jennifer Wayne “Foxie and Fired Up”

A Few More Historical Tidbits: • From 1997-2005, the Firestone 550k held the spot as the first • •

race after the Indianapolis 500. This year, it will resume that place on the schedule. The Firestone 550k has widely been considered the secondlargest oval track race on the IndyCar Series calendar, second only to the Indy 500. Texas Motor Speedway held its first Truck race in 2007. The late Kenny Irwin Jr. scored his second career victory in the inaugural event.

Race Schedule: Thursday, June 3 - Qualifying Night

Last year, Johnny Sauter captured his first Texas pole position for the WinStar World Casino 400k. Qualifying begins at 6 p.m.

Friday, June 4 - Winstar World Casino 400k

The current standings leader Todd Bodine became the only driver to win at the track five times in the running of the race last year. Last week, he drove to a second-place finish while gaining the standings lead at the North Carolina Education Lottery 200. Kyle Busch’s win last Friday in the North Carolina Education Lottery 200 was his 70th NASCAR national series victory. Whose race will this be? The 250.5 mile race can be heard on 105.3FM The Fan.

Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce

Saturday, June 5 - Firestone 550k

Helio Castroneves added another victory to his resume by posting his third Texas IZOD IndyCar triumph in 2009 along with an Indianapolis 500 win. Castroneves will try to tie for Texas open-wheel wins with Sam Hornish, Jr. The race starts at 7:30 p.m. and can be heard on 105.3FM The Fan. If you have tickets, make sure you get there in time for Kaptain Robbie Knievel’s Above the Law Jump presented by IZOD IndyCar Series at 6:15 p.m.

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Ricky Carmichael, nicknamed the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) after an illustrious eleven year career on the motocross circuit, brings his #4 Monster Energy truck to TMS on June 4 in search of his first victory since jumping to NASCAR last year. This will be Ricky’s 26th start on the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series and he is fresh off a top 5 finish at Dover two weeks ago. I recently sat down with Ricky to discuss his transition to NASCAR driving.


Photos Courtesy: Steve Lipofsky

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10 June 2 - 8, 2010 //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// by: Kris Boudreau ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The Greatest NBA Finals Performances

Basketball’s biggest stage is often the platform where legends are made and single performances carry a team and a city on his back on the way to a championship. When it comes to the top finals performances, it is littered with not just hall-of-famers, but some of the greatest players to ever play. Here is the list of greatest NBA Finals Performances.

Michael Jordan vs. Phoenix too much as the Lakers swept - The best pure display of of- the Nets and won their third fensive prowess in an NBA Fi- straight NBA title. nals has Jordan topping the list Michael Jordan vs. of best NBA Finals perUtah - It was formances. His average of 41 points per in this series where game is the highest the greatest in NBA history and he became the first of all time struck his faplayer in Finals history to score over 40 mous pose after points in four straight crossing over Byron games. Russell on his way to his 6th title. Jordan came up with his Dwayne Wade vs. Dallas - best performances on the road Wade established himself as a in this series and again refused superstar with this performance to let Stockton and Malone get in 2006. His 35 points and 8 as- their first ring. sists per game helped vault Miami from an 0-2 deficit to win Tim Duncan vs. New four straight games en route to Jersey - Many overlook Miami’s first NBA title. Duncan’s domination of this series because Shaquille O’Neil vs. Indiana it was not the most at- The first of the Lakers three- tractive paring to say the peat began with this dominat- least. However, Duncan ing performance by one of the was just plain great. Duncan best big men of all time. Shaq averaged 24 points while grabamassed 38 points and 17 re- bing 17 boards, dishing out 5 bounds per game but many may assists, and blocking 5 shots per remember his ridiculous amount game. In game 6, Duncan carof free throw attempts. Attempt ried the Spurs as they overcame an 8-point deficit while comis the main thing to ing 2 blocks shy of a quaremember because even out druple-double. of his record Hakeem Olajuwon vs. 39 attempts New York - This sein game 2, ries really was Hakeem he only made 19. Olajuwon himself vs. the Knicks because withShaquille O’Neil out him this series would not vs. New Jersey - Shaq torched have been close. What makes one of the best defenses in the this performance so special is NBA for 36 points and 12 boards who he did this against. “The per game in a series sweep on Dream” dismantled one of the the Nets. His performance was best collective defenses ever as

well as one of the best defenders ever in Patrick Ewing on his way to 27 points and 9 boards per game. Larry Bird vs. LA This Bird-Magic era of the NBA reached its height with this series in 1984. Bird carried the C’s in one of the best NBA playoff series ever that had hall of famers scattered everywhere. To average 27 points and 14 boards against the Lakers at their height of success says something about the legend that is Larry. Magic Johnson vs. Boston - Three years later Magic would get his revenge on Bird and the Celtics when he made one of the most memorable shots in NBA history with his ‘baby hook’ over Kevin McHale in game 6. His 26 points, 13 assists and 8 boards per game is again remarkable considering the competition. Shaquille O’Neil vs. Philadelphia - The 2001 Lakers may have been the most dominating postseason team ever losing only one game. Again, no one could stand the challenge of guarding Shaq, including defensive player of the year Dikembe Mutumbo. He finished the series with 33 points, 13.6 rebounds and almost 5 blocks per game.

Beasts of the East Are Back! The Boston Celtics are back in the NBA Finals. They have won 17 NBA Championships, which is more than any other team. The last time they were in the Finals was the 2008-2009 season when they beat the Los Angeles Lakers 4-2. They were the number four seed this year in the Eastern Conference. This year they are 12-5 in the playoffs and have knocked off some big opponents along the way. In the first round, they took out Miami 4-1. In the second round, they played the Cleveland Cavaliers, who had the best record in the NBA for the regular season. Many people, myself included, thought this was the end of the road for Boston because this seemed like the year LeBron James may get his title. The Cavs ran into a problem with Rajon Rondo. The Rajon Rondo Show featured a playoff franchise tying record 19 assists in game two; in game four, he had a triple double with an amazing 18 rebounds for the 6-1 guard. They showed they were for real when they eliminated Cleveland 4-2. In the Eastern Conference Finals, they won the first three games against Orlando. Orlando won the next two but Boston took care of business in game six, winning the series 4-2. Boston and LA may be the best rivalry in all of sports. The two teams have combined to win more than half of the leagues titles. It’s no secret that the key to the Lakers is Kobe Bryant. Stopping him is the problem. He usually plays with a chip on his shoulder and hasn’t forgotten losing to the Celtics two years ago. When he gets in a zone, he can be lethal. He already has four rings and only needs one to tie Michael Jordan. I look for the Celtics to apply the same type of collapsing defense they have had success with. Two years ago they held Kobe to 38 percent or less shooting in four games. They have

already slain a fe out Dwayne Wad Howard. Boston check. He is stil Garnett and Rash match with Pau G Fisher can’t be le pointers as he ca Ron Artest, who defense, will try t The Boston are a more balanc erans. Garnett w just like Amare S Who can forget t time he won a r for Gasol to hold of the best pure has shot 42% from playoffs. He love make his defende was two years ag of getting the job can score when rebound, and is o guards in the leag go and has becom He does a lot of th stats. He can kill hard for the Lake The most im is Pierce vs. Arte force against a gr slow start to the p as of late. Artest defense. This ma thing for sure is will be chanting,


June 2 - 8, 2010 11 blitzweekly.com

by: Craig Smith

by: Geoff Case

Kobe & Company Looking For Payback! The Lakers struggled against the Oklahoma City Thunder but managed to salvage a closer than expected series by keeping Kevin Durant from causing too much damage. The Lakers simply had no one that matched-up well against Russell Westbrook and it caused major havoc. The Lakers deep bench and size eventually prevailed but not after some heart stopping moments. The second round sweep of the Utah Jazz was important because it allowed the Lakers to regain some confidence. After struggling against the 8th seed it was important to show resolve and pound Utah to death and they accomplished this rather easily. The Jazz had multiple injuries to their big men and the Lakers were able to secure all the 50/50 rebounds and shut down all lay-ups and easy bucket attempts in the paint. The Phoenix Suns went down 0-2 in the series and finally gave into the fact that they could not play against the Lakers size straight up and switched to almost exclusively running a zone defense. The switch ruffled the Lakers feathers and caused some problems in executing their defense allowing the Suns to get inside the paint with Steve Nash’s dribble penetration. Finally, after a few practices Phil Jackson was able to get his team to break the zone and unleashed Kobe from three. The Lakers’ road to the Finals were not without some struggles but eventually having the most stacked roster and the best player in the conference will allow some leeway with mental errors.

Challenges the Boston Celtics create for the Lakers: 1. Rondo’s length: Rajon Rondo is without question the most important player for the Celtics. The offense starts and stops with the ball in his hands. The role of distributor is his default setting, looking to get his teammates involved early and often but in this series he will need to become the focal point of the scoring. He’s much too long for any of the Laker guards outside of Kobe and can use his crafty moves to get around the size of the defense. 2. Celtics Physicality: The Pau Gasol everybody has been raving about lately won’t have a good series against the Celtics. Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins like to dish out the bruises and love to disrupt finesse players like Gasol. The only knock on Pau Gasol’s game is his perceived lack of toughness against the alpha male types like Garnett and Perkins. If there is any hesitation from Gasol going to the rim, blood will be in the water for the Celtic bigs to start pounding their chests. However, he has the opportunity to erase that perception, but he’ll have to get knocked to the floor a few times. X-Factor: Ron Artest: This is almost too easy because Ron Ron’s whole career has been an X-Factor. The often misunderstood player is as likely to throw out a 30 point performance as he is to go up into the stands and beat the tar out of some fan. He will be asked to guard Paul Pierce, the primary scoring option for Boston. Pierce is crafty and has a knack for getting calls that leave opposing players with their palms up in astonishment. Whether the officials let Artest manipulate Pierce’s driving lines or call fouls could determine if Ron is hoisting a trophy or a Celtic fan.

Photos Courtesy: Keith Allison

ew giants along the way taking de, Lebron James and Dwight must keep Andrew Bynum in ll battling a sore knee. Kevin heed Wallace is an interesting Gasol and Lamar Odom. Derek left alone for wide open threean light it up from the outside. was added to the team for his to slow down Paul Pierce. Celtics will win because they ced team, full of seasoned vetwill eat up Gasol in the middle Stoudemire did in the last round. the fire in the eyes of K.G. last ring? He will be too physical d down low. Ray Allen is one shooters in league history and m three point land in this year’s es to shoot off screens and will er work. He isn’t as good as he go but he is more than capable b done. Rondo is the guy who needed, is a great passer, can one of the best defensive point gue. He is what makes this team me their leader and best player. hings that can’t be measured by you with his speed and will be ers to stop. mportant matchup in this series est. You have a great offensive reat defensive specialist. After a playoffs Pierce has been on fire t plays a physical in your face atchup is too close to call. One the thunderous Boston crowd “BEAT LA, BEAT LA.”



June 2 - 8, 2010 13

Photos Courtesy: Dennis Hambright

J

ust a few facts: Since Presidente Calderon took office in 2006, approximately 19,000 people have been killed in Mexico. Mutilated and beheaded bodies are tossed along the side of the road as warning to those that cross the cartels. Journalists are kidnapped and threatened for reporting the truth. Children are killed in midday crossfire. Heavily armed men stormed a prison near Reynosa, breaking out thirteen. In a brazen move demonstrating their confidence, gunmen in armored cars with grenade launchers carried out simultaneous, highlycoordinated attacks on two Mexican military bases just south of the Texas border. No matter how you spin it, downplay it or try to explain it away, what’s going on in Mexico is far more than a clash between rival drug gangs. It’s war, pure and simple; and it’s pushing at the seams of our own southern borders. The simplistic version of what’s being force-fed to the public as the catalyst for the violence is that the powerful Gulf and Sinaloa cartels are fighting with the Zetas for control of the lucrative drug territory in northern Mexico. The Zetas were originally formed as a group of mercenaries to work as the strong arm for the Gulf Cartel, with their members recruited from highly trained Mexican military units. It seems the Zetas became dissatisfied with being just “paid help” for the Gulf Cartel and decided to capitalize on their ruthless strength and step out and take a piece of the lucrative “narco-pie” for themselves. Ironically, the “muscle hired” became the “muscled opposition.” There seems to be a between-the-lines insinuation from the authorities that the escalation in violence in Mexico is a situation that won’t be long lasting. Based on history and experience, I think that’s a dangerous assumption made by people with their heads buried in the sand. The U.S. spent millions of dollars on the

“War on Drugs” in South Amer- by: Dennis Hambright www.dennishambright.com ica. In Bolivia, for example, coca eradication was successful to some degree. But now, without continued U.S. influence, coca production has surpassed old production levels. Colombia might not be the war torn drug region it once was, but anybody who believes the cocaine business isn’t still an enormous and threatening enterprise there, is simply turning a blind eye to the facts. As unpopular as it might be to say, capturing major drug kingpins here and there and making huge seizures of narcotics coming across our borders are great accomplishments, but they aren’t the debilitating blows to the narco-business that we’re led to believe. Narco-trafficking is a multi-billion dollar burden on society that’s like a giant ‘Wack-A-Mole’ game. No matter how many times you knock one down, there’s always another one ready to pop up and take their place. Narco-trafficking operates within the “balloon effect.” Squeeze pressure in one area, and it simply expands somewhere else. Like a balloon, nothing is eliminated, but simply pushed elsewhere. For years, the major “squeeze” was focused in South and Central America. Now, the expansion appears to have been forced up through Mexico, and is pushing at our own borders. Sometimes, it’s easier to tolerate doing what’s necessary to actually eradicate a threat when it’s thousands of miles away, in places we only know from television news clips. It’s easy to shake your head and say, “Look how horrible it is there,” then turn off the television and sleep the sleep of babes. Ask some of the people who live along the South Texas border. I think they might tell you that the “balloon” is looking pretty thin, and not that far away. If it “pops,” or pushes much further, it won’t be somebody else’s problem. It will be ours.

Uranus—Those nerdy scientists were laughing their by: Jesse Whitman asses off when they came up with this planet’s name, “A Woman’s Perspective” no doubt. I mean, come on, Uranus? I know it’s not supposed to be pronounced ‘your anus,’ but how can you resist asking someone looking through a telescope at the beautiful night sky, “Hey, can you see Uranus?”

Free Willy—I’m talking about the kids’ movie, not some porn knock-off that I’m sure is out there. And did I mention it’s a kid movie? Shame on them, but thanks for making me laugh every time I say it. Hustler—It’s great that Larry Flynt includes serious, thought-provoking articles, more power to him. But it’s more than jarring to be looking at a naked women and the opening of her birth canal and then seeing a photo of dead bodies from the Mexican drug war, for example, on the very next page. It could cause a heart attack. Hey Mr. Flynt, can you at least give us a warning? But on second thought, it wouldn’t matter because we would look at it anyway. Yamakas—So, let me get this straight. Jewish men—they had to be the ones to come up with this—decided to have the males wear a half-hat, saucer-shaped Frisbee that only stays on the head with bobby pins, and it perfectly covers up the common balding spot on men…ah, now I get it. Salt on Watermelon—Salt on mashed potatoes, fries, chicken soup, now that makes perfect sense. But salt on a sweet, juicy, thirst-quenching watermelon? That’s just wrong. That’s like putting chocolate sauce on a steak. Now, how does that sound, you ‘salt on watermelon’ freaks? Fried Twinkies—These greasy sugar-bombs could survive a nuclear holocaust, so why would you want to take an already offensive indestructible lump of preservatives and empty calories and--I shudder to even imagine it—deep fry the thing? Burkas—First of all, it’s the middle of the desert, one of the hottest places on earth. And what do these men—of course it was the men’s idea—decide? They think it’s a great idea to have their women sheathed head to toe in a sheet. It would be great if they were beekeepers, but they’re women and they are beautiful. Why cover them up? Tongue Piercing—I know this is very 1997, but it’s bewildering enough to mention. First of all, the only reason it would make any sense to get your tongue pierced is because it would make sexual experiences more enhanced, because, let’s face it, it isn’t that noticeable until you’re kissing, etc. It just doesn’t make sense. The people who fell for this trend probably did it with the intention of appearing sexually adventurous, but instead the joke was on them. A pierced tongue doesn’t mean they are good in bed like they would hope but only that their mouth will most certainly taste like metal.

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THE DRUG WAR ON OUR BORDER (Part 2 of 2)

Things I Don’t Understand…


by: Kelly G. Reed

“Dude with an Appetite”

Joe’s Pizza, Pasta & Subs

1904 E. Belt Line Road • Carrollton – 75006 (972) 416-6555 • www.joespizzasubs.com

A Slice of Greatness!

Trust me when I say that not all pizza is created equally. I know, I eat a lot of pizza. There is a place, though, that I have discovered that brings me a slice of greatness at an affordable price in Carrollton and that is Joe’s Pizza, Pasta & Subs. Located at Belt Line and Josey this family run establishment delivers more than meets the eye. Through my several visits, I have learned that this establishment has been owned and operated for over 16 years. Management shows they care by using all natural ingredients, herbs and sauces. They only cook to order, none of that pre-made stuff you get from the big national chains. Joe’s Pizza is a BYOB establishment, so bring your drinks and a hearty appetite.

On To The Eats…

When ordering your pizza you have a few options to weigh; you start off by ordering a whole pizza or by the slice. Regardless of your decision, they will prepare order fresh and cook it in their oven…an actual oven, not one of those conveyor belt contraptions. They have all the toppings you can imagine. So mix and match! Choose between their Sicilian Deep Dish or Authentic New York Style. Their extra large pizza is a giant 18” serving and enough to fill one Blitz Weekly reader or a family of four. Compliment your pizza with one of their salads. The dressing is made in house and you have your choice of either a tomato-based Italian Vinaigrette or Ranch. If you’re in the mood for something different, try the Chicken Fettucini Alfredo. The fresh cream Romano cheese based sauce with Alfredo noodles and diced white meat chicken is delicious. It is served with their signature Italian Crusty Bread and a side salad. The bread has real butter. Margarine is blasphemous at Joe’s Pizza. Another sumptuous dish is the Chicken Parmigian. This is a deep-fried and breaded chicken breast topped with homemade marinara sauce with fresh mozzarella on top. Accompanying the order is a side of their Italian Crusty Bread and spaghetti. I really like their Philly Cheese Steak. Inside the oven-toasted Italian Crusty Bread you will find thinly sliced rib eye steak sautéed with fresh onions, green peppers and mushrooms. And yes, cheese to top it off!

For Your Sweet Tooth…

Joe’s Pizza offers a variety of desserts to partake. They serve up cheesecake as well as Black Forest Cheesecake. The Cannoli is my weakness. This New York favorite is a cinnamon sugar deep-fried shell filled with cannoli cream, ricotta cheese, chocolate chips and powdered sugar. The house specialty, however, is the Tiramisu aka the Tuscan Trifle. It is homemade with fresh mascarpone and espresso layered between lady fingers and chocolate powder served with fresh whipped cream.

Giving Back to the Community…

As mentioned earlier, management cares. They are big supporters of both RL Turner and Newman Smith High Schools. They offer student specials on a regular basis and have a student section for their family friendly restaurant. What makes Joe’s Pizza a truly unique restaurant is their traditional Thanksgiving meal. The owners for the past two years have been open on Thanksgiving Day to feed the hungry with free plates of turkey, mashed potatoes and lots of other goodies. This is funded by Joe’s Pizza and its regular customers. In 2008, they served close to 1,000 hungry folks and in 2009 that number more than doubled with 2,100 plates. This Thanksgiving will mark their third year of kindness and generosity. They will need volunteers to help. Mark your calendars and contact management. You can help make a difference.

Photo Courtesy: Yu-Ping Chen

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14 June 2 - 8, 2010


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Panasonic Pro Twin-Lens 3D Camera

Shoot your own interplanetary human-like Smurf epic with the Panasonic Pro Twin-Lens 3D Camera. Capable of 30fps, 1080p 3D recording, the Pro Twin uses the AVCHD Pro video format, recorded in sync onto two SDHC memory cards, with other features like automatic left-eye/ right-eye image deviation correction, a weight of roughly 6 lbs., a 3.2-inch side-mounted LCD, HDMI 1.4 and HD-SDI outputs, a built-in stereo microphone, an XLR audio input, a remote terminal and an auto record function for control of an external recorder. Okay, so you might not have the effects budget for a CGI-filled extravaganza, but at least your kid’s tee-ball games will look better than ever. Price - approx. $20,000

EyeTV HD

Record HDTV to your Mac or stream it to your iPhone, iPod touch, or iPad with the EyeTV HD. This USB box sports component video and RCA audio inputs on the back, and connects to a cable- or satellite set-top box for your recording pleasure. An IR blaster takes care of the controls, while a $5 app lets you control and watch live TV over 3G or Wi-Fi, and a special dual-format capture feature saves your favorite shows in both iPad and iPhone formats simultaneously - but be warned, that amount of video can eat up storage faster than Kobayashi downs hot dogs, so you’d better plan on picking up that home server if you’re wanting to archive all those Golden Girls reruns. Price - $200

Weber Summit S670 Grill

Spend your summer searing, smoking, and sizzling your way to tasty meals courtesy of the Weber Summit S-670 Grill. As Weber’s flagship grill station, the S-670 boasts a ton of high-end features, including a side burner, searing station that cranks up to 900 degrees for perfectly crusted steaks, an integrated smoker box, solid stainless steel construction, a tuck-away rotisserie system with infrared burner, a 60,000 BTU main burner pro-grade stainless steel cooking grates, and automatic, integrated lighting with lighted control knobs for late-night, booze-fueled grilling. Price - $2,000

Where Have All The Movie Critics Gone? Are there any wannabe amateur film critics out there who think their writing could one day be the equivalent of such opinionated but great film critics as Vincent Canby, Pauline Kael, Gene Siskel and Bruce Williamson? It’s a question I have been asking myself now more than ever, given the recent firing in March of top film critic Todd McCarthy by the editors of Variety magazine. McCarthy had been with the publication since 1979 and was among several employees the publication laid off as a cost-cutting measure, according to www.thewrap.com. “We are not changing our review policy,” said Variety’s Group Editor Tim Gray. “Last year, we ran more than 1,200 film reviews. No other news outlet comes even close, and we will continue to be the leader in numbers and quality. It doesn’t make economic sense to have full-time reviewers but Todd, Derek (Elley), and David (Rooney) have been asked to continue as freelancers.” The larger blow to fans of film criticism, however, came

late March with news that after 24 seasons, “At the Movies,” the popular show that started with Chicago film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, was cancelled. Its roots run to 1975 when the show was called “Sneak Pre-

views” on PBS. The program’s final broadcast with current critics, A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, will air August 14. I know there are a lot of movie-goers out there who apparently can’t make up their mind and don’t feel like wasting two hours of their time sitting through a movie they may not like. They need guidance when it comes to movies, or anything else for that matter. So they rely on the likes of current movie critics like Ebert, Rolling Stone’s

Peter Travers and reviewers in their local city paper, or back in the days when Blockbuster Video was a household name, they ask some overworked customer service representative in a blue shirt if a certain new release on the shelves is worth their money.

Back when I lived in Chicago in the ‘70s and early ‘80s, I made it a weekly Friday and Sunday ritual to go through the entertainment sections of the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun Times to see what Siskel and Ebert said about the week’s latest releases. It wasn’t that I was hoping they would like a movie that I liked. God knows they’ve endorsed movies I loathed, like

by: Joe Stumpo www.darthstumpo.com

Howard’s End (1992), The English Patient (1996) and The Last Temptation of Christ (1988), all of which I should keep on my shelf as a means to cure insomnia. I looked to their reviews, whether they were positive or negative. It’s the only reason why today, I still sometimes download their review segments on www.youtube.com and www.atthemoviestv.com. I want to hear them argue passionately why one disagrees on a title the other likes, such as Benji the Hunted (1987), Full Metal Jacket (1987) and The Doors (1991). There is a wealth of information on the Internet and in magazines now that I can go to for information and reviews on the latest movies from Film Comment and Empire magazine to Entertainment Weekly and even Variety, which says despite McCarthy’s departure, the publication is still going to run reviews from other writers. They just won’t be by the ones readers have come to know over the past three decades.


By: Sybil Summers

sybilsummers.com

COOLEST THINGS TO DO IN DFW THIS SUMMER 10. Golf - As it gets hotter, keep this in mind...the earlier the tee time, the better. 9. Rangers Games - After all it’s America’s pastime, and the Rangers are leading their division! 8. Six Flags/Hurricane Harbor - As I’ve gotten older, Six Flags has become more fun than than HH. (It’ll always be “Wet ‘n Wild” to me, though.) 7. Uptown Pool Crashers - Just about every apartment complex and hotel pool becomes a hot spot in the Texas summer heat. I recommend packing a cooler and going pool-hopping. 6. Camping - Can’t beat a weekend of drinking and fishing. Plus, now you have excuse for not taking a shower! 5. Sneaky Pete’s - The funnest bar on Lake Lewisville offers a great way to cool off with a swimming pool on their big deck. 4. Big Balls - Every Wednesday night, head to Duke’s in Addison for life-size beer pong and ice cold brewskies. 3. Sunday Mimosas on the Patio - Just about every bar with outdoor seatings offers a discount brunch and bottomless Mimosas. You can try a new place each week! 2. Summer Concert Series - Be it Dallas, Arlington or Fort Worth, you can be sure to find a mid-week music show at a local pavilion, park or botanic garden. Bring your own wine and picnic blanket! 1. Lake Living - Nothing’s more fun than floating around with your friends or getting towed behind a boat. I can get a tan, keep cool and hold a beer while doing it? Deal.


HORRORSCOPES

blitzweekly.com

JOKES

June 2 - 8, 2010 17

Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 21) People who owe you money will continue to avoid you. You don’t like them anyway.

Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22) Your inner critic is slowly suffocating. Seal off the hatches and speed it along - she’s nothing but a wet blanket.

FUNNIES

Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22)

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Minor annoyances will majorly tick you off. Hermit it up, or I see many apologies in your future.

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee? A: A boxing referee doesn’t get paid extra for a longer fight.

Let it all hang out and shake it while it’s out there. Holding it in apparently isn’t working.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Meat and Drink A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer. He looks around, admiring the room and he soon notices that there are big lumps of meat hanging on the ceiling. He then says to the bartender, “Why have you got all this meat hanging around?” The barman says, ‘It’s a little bet that we are running. If you can jump up and grab a bit of meat in your mouth then you can have all of your drinks bought for you. If you fail then you have to buy everyone else in the bar their drinks for them. Are you going to have a try at it?” The man shakes his head and says to the bartender, “No, the stakes are too high.”

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) ACROSS: 1. Animal 6. Ice rain 11. Website address 14. First Greek letter 15. Big 16. Constrictor 17. Noisy quarrel 19. Not in 20. What we’re called 21. Practice 23. Injured party 27. Hang around 28. Unfortunate 32. Partially melted snow 33. Leases 34. Camp sack 37. Chore 38. God of the underworld (Greek mythology) 39. A rounded projection 40. Sailor’s affirmative 41. A stringed instrument of India 42. Donated 43. However 45. Take away 48. Main course 49. An electrode 50. Catkin

53. Muck 54. Without mercy or pity 60. Anger 61. Out of place 62. Strange 63. Moray 64. Minimal 65. Tropical vine DOWN: 1. Sheep sound 2. L 3. Clever 4. Third person pronoun female 5. Make dirty or spotty 6. Shut a door forcefully 7. Tardy 8. Goddess of discord (Greek mythology) 9. Bigheadedness 10. Flimsy 11. German submarine 12. French for “Red” 13. Not now 18. Live in a tent 22. Female sib 23. Panorama 24. Dental filling 25. Give rise to

26. A hard smooth ivory colored dentine 27. Parcels of land 29. Angered 30. Fragrant wood 31. Lifeless 34. Don’t judge a book by this 35. Overweight 36. Anxious 38. Home for bees 39. A jaunty rhythm 41. A few 42. Refined 43. Gesture of assent 44. Female chickens 45. China grass 46. Habituate 47. She likes to pose 50. Dogfish 51. Tiny leafy-stemmed flowerless plants 52. Formerly (archaic) 55. An uncle 56. Floral necklace 57. Earned Run Average 58. Trangression 59. Ocean

Do some online or television shopping and have it sent with the slowest shipping and handling. You need SOMETHING to look forward to.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds; but seriously, stop being so scatterbrained. Try and keep track of your keys and wallet this week.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Have you heard the phrase, “Up sh!t creek”? Well, consider this week more of a sh!t puddle. Don’t wear your good shoes.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) You have the heart of a champion. But some jerk has you benched. Fire that fool and come out swinging.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Idiots are even more immune to logic than usual this week. Save your breath or lose your sanity. The choice is yours.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20) Look for the bare necessities. The simple bare necessities. Forget about your worries and your strife. Baby Dolls awaits!

Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19) The better-luck-next-time bunny is hopping around your neighborhood. Do not let his cute, furry face fool you into letting him visit. You can win this time. Focus, focus, focus!

Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20) The early bird catches the worm. Sleep in and be worm-free.


blitzweekly.com

18 June 2 - 8, 2010

Hey Now...You’re An All-Star...Again Every year when the MLB releases their lists of top vote getting All-Stars, I usually spend a week or so ranting and raving about how the entire process represents what is wrong with baseball. They reward the same players every year, showcasing the same so-called superstars regardless of how they are playing. Think about the words “All Star.” Wouldn’t you think that it would reserve meaning for players who are the complete and total best of the sport? Jeter, the smug bastard, is always on the list, but is he the best short stop in the league? Do you really think Robinson Cano is the best 2nd baseman? The fan’s vote with the posters on their wall, making it like some sort of bizarre Facebook poll. A poll in which I refuse to vote. Letting the fans vote on the All-Star game is like farting on the Cooperstown’s front door and saying you are a part of the game. Well, this year is different. This year, I am going to be the one farting on Cooperstown. I am going to be voting this year, in a meager protest to baseball’s lack of a spine.

by: Pat Moran “Man on his Throne” - pmoran@gmail.com

I say we reverse the tide. Forget Jeter, Texiera, Utley and Mauer. Leave Longoria, A-Rod, Howard and Fielder. Who cares if the same, overweight lugs play weak-ass baseball for a weekend? Wouldn’t you rather see a weekend of THE WORST players battling it out? The ones who have spent every year on a different team, lucky to spend a season in the big leagues. I would rather see the ones who don’t have an ounce of the talent that the normal All Stars have. So this year, I say we vote for the ones who will never get it. Take that, MLB. How about a vote for Casey Kotchman, with his robust .193 Batting Average? Ian Desmond, the Nationals’ light-hitting shortstop with a league leading 11 errors? Toss in a little Yuniesky Betancourt, A.J. Pierzinsky and Jose Lopez, add a handful of Triple-A players and then get everyone above the age of 40 and let them play it out. Winners get a guaranteed contract for next year. Tell me that wouldn’t be a damn good spectacle...




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