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Florida Great-Grandma Takes a Bite Out of Crime

BLITZ News Shorts Hollywood Profile/Movie Review Music: James McMurtry – Born Songwriter Rangers/AirHogs News MMA in Frisco UFC 117 Preview COVER STORY: Guide to Beer Meet Dennis Wehrmann Drinking Games Cooking with Beer BLITZ BABE: Nichole Beer Specials in DFW Food Review: Angry Dog Blitz Toys The Fan Top 10 with Sybil Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes Last Call: Everyone Dislikes A-Rod

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PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Nathaniel Chadwick Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Keith Allison, Abe Bingham, Kim Cullins, Howard Davis, Tammy Ferrufino, Andre Karwath, Paul Kehrer, Frank Mayne, Chuck Majors, Chris J. Nelson, Tim Parkinson, James D. Smith, The Bum, Cartman02au STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Joe Stumpo, Jennifer Wayne and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Brian Beard, Cassie R. Cullins, Andrew J. Hewett, Mark Miller, Jack L. Pier, Sybil Summers, The Bachelor Chef, The Bum ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029

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Photo Courtesy: Frank Mayne, Cartman02au, Andre Karwath

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VOL. 2 - ISSUE 49

August 4 - 10, 2010 3

QUOTE OF THE WEEK ““Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” -- Dave Barry

A great-grandmother in Daytona Beach bit an assailant and was dragged several feet hanging on to the getaway car of a couple who snatched her purse. Patricia Robertson doesn’t know how she summoned the strength, but the commotion she created helped get her belongings back. Police said the 73-year-old was accosted at a gas station over last weekend by a man and woman who grabbed her purse and tried to speed off. On instinct, Robertson said she bit the man hard enough to draw blood and hung on to their truck when that failed. A bystander who saw the attack called 911 and followed the assailants, updating police until they could apprehend the couple. Robertson said she’s sore and almost lost a tooth, but thankful for the good Samaritan’s help.

Cops Issue Cat Alert for Feline That Caused Wreck

Oregon State Police have taken the unusual step of issuing a missing cat alert for a feline that caused a car crash, escaped from a smashed SUV and vanished. Southern Oregon University student Brittany Spady rolled her Ford Explorer on U.S. 26 east of Banks last Monday night after her long-haired tortoiseshell cat Calysta crawled between the brake and gas pedals. Spady said she took her eyes off the road to try and stop the cat. She said the cat refuses to travel in a carrier. Spady was headed home from Ashland and was just two miles from her parents’ house when her vehicle went into a nearby forest., rolled and hit a tree. The cat bolted, vanishing into nearby forest. State Police spokesman Lt. Gregg Hastings said the family has been out looking for the missing cat and he wanted to help. took cover under several other cars before Firefighters seemingly disappearing - except for her Dismantle Police Car meow. Firefighters and police finally struck to Rescue Kitten This little kitty went home - but only after paydirt after jacking up a police cruiser, then Vienna police and firefighters partially dis- following the sound and tracing the waymantled a police car to find it. The naughty ward kitty to a small space inside the vehifeline first woke residents of a Vienna neigh- cle’s floor panel. But it took half an hour of borhood with its desperate meowing, then elbow grease before the critter was nabbed kept police and firefighters busy for much of and taken to an animal shelter. But not before having the last meow. “It bit my finger!” the night. She was found under the hood of a car said firefighter Franz Zehetmeier, who finalbut eluded her rescuers’ grasp. The kitten ly collared the cat.

Andrew J. Hewett

www.chewednews.com

YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF THE “TUNGUSKA EVENT” HAVE YOU?

On June 30, 1908, a huge asteroid exploded above Russia’s Siberia, leaving 800 square miles of scorched land and blown-down trees. Scientists predict similar events in the future.

WONDER, DO THESE 100 HOURS UTILIZE ONLY ONE SCALP?

Before becoming a hairdresser in Colorado, beauticians must endure 1,650 hours of instruction, including 100 hours of supervised shampooing.

FORGIVE ME IRS, FOR I HAVE SINNED

The Treasury Department maintains a fund known as “The Conscience Fund,” which accepts money sent in anonymously by taxpayers who think they’ve cheated the government. The fund isn’t very large, and the money is used for miscellaneous expenses. (Hopefully, to treat DMGC: Dumb-Butt Guilt Complex.)

THESE GUYS ARE REAL TURN-COATS

The short-tailed weasel (Mustela erminea) of the northern U.S. and southern Canada, has fur dark-chocolate brown in the summer, but, when snow falls, its color turns to a soft, silky white. And that’s when a weasel becomes an ermine. (Does this mean one wearing an ermine jacket is a “turn coat”…by buying, causing animal cruelty? Yeah.)

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4 August 4 - 10, 2010

HOLLYWOOD PROFILE

BLITZREVIEWS By: Joe Stumpo - www.darthstumpo.com

with Luke Wilson

by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”

In 1995, everyone had a VCR, music was actually sold in record stores and the world wide web was a new fangled invention. Entrepreneur Jack Harris had the perfect life - a beautiful family and a successful business fixing problem companies. Then he met Wayne Beering and Buck Dolby, two geniuses, but troubled men, who had invented the way adult entertainment is sold over the internet. When Harris agrees to help steer their business, he finds himself in a world of sex and crime all while becoming one of the wealthiest businessmen of his time. Dallas’ own Luke Wilson plays Harris and he talked about the movie and what he found most enjoyable about making this movie.

Tell us a little about the movie. The story Middle Men [is about] my character Jack Harris who is an entrepreneur. The movie starts with him hearing about these two guys Buck and Wayne. They get the model for how to charge people to look at content on their home computers and everyone who wants to look at pornography has to go through this program and these guys came up with it. They were kind of like idiot savants. They really changed the course of history.

And your character goes into business with them to basically guide them along, but winds up getting sucked in deeper than he’d intended to? You know, he’s a family man with a couple of kids, and then he just gets into this business which kind of takes off. At the same time, because it is in this completely different world that

has a sordid aspect to it, he kind of gets pulled into it a little bit and loses his way and winds up getting involved with the Russian mob and the FBI and starts a romance with one of the girls that works on one of these websites; so, a lot happens to him just from his business.

Tell me about your co-stars in the film? Buck Dolby and Wayne Beering are played by Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht and for me that’s one of my favorite parts of the movie just because they bring a great balance of comedy and drama at the same time. Those guys are both really great actors. For me to work with people my own age that I also admire is interesting because I always look to older actors, but both those guys are so good.

Why should people go see this movie? It’s a really fun wild ride and in the movie you get to sit there and be entertained but you also get to learn a lot about this world that you don’t really know anything about. Middle Men opens nationwide this week. The film is rated R for strong sexual content, nudity, drug use, language and violence. For all of this week’s new releases and more of your favorite celebs, check out my show Reel Critics on Time Warner Video on Demand under the North Texas programming tab!

Salt

There is a story about how when producers asked Angelina Jolie to be one of the femme fatales in a James Bond installment, the actress reportedly said no and added that she’d much rather play Agent 007 instead. People don’t always get what they want but the role of CIA Agent Evelyn Salt, who while interrogating a defector gets accused of being a Russian spy, is as close Jolie may ever get to playing an undercover agent. Salt is like the Jason Bourne movies where the action never lets up as Jolie’s character evades local law enforcement and government agents throughout Washington attempting to stop

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a sinister plan to bring down America from the inside. Every once in a while, though not for long, Salt takes a breather recalling her shady past living in Russia and trying to recount how she got into this situation in the first place. There is no denying I can see where the climax is heading in terms of learning the identity of the “real” Russian agent. It is, however, comforting, even if this is just a fast-paced action movie, to know America has someone like Evelyn Salt possibly working for our side. A little “salt” with one’s meal never hurt anyone. The same can be said with this film.

August 4 - 10, 2010 5 blitzweekly.com

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

3. You’d A’ Thought

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

4. Freeway View

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

5. Just Us Kids

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

6. Hurricane Party

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

7. Bayou Tortue

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

8. Restless

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

9. Too Long in the Wasteland

by: Jack L. Pier “An Ear for Music”

Photos Courtesy: Jason Ryan/jasonryanphotography.com

ome people are just born songwriters. Once they find their instrument, they master it and it becomes an extension of them. They appear so relaxed on stage and have such confidence in every chord and note they play; it appears to be second nature. They write lyrics that tell stories and paint pictures… and they find ways to phrase the words so they fit with the music like a hand in glove. James McMurtry is one such artist and it’s difficult to disagree with critics who say he’s one of America’s premier songwriters of the last twenty years. His latest release, Live in Europe, is a CD/DVD combination that really delivers a true representation of the man and his music. Mainly consisting of songs from 2009’s Just Us Kids, it also has some gems from earlier works and a guest appearance by Jon Dee Graham, a fellow Austin songwriter. My favorite songs include “Hurricane Party,” which blends stories of storms, old lovers and “…some insurance man biker who’s yellin out for one more beer, but a part-time pirate just can’t get much respect around here.” On “You’d A’ Thought (Leonard Cohen Must Die)” he sings about infidelity and blowing the seals of a relationship, but resolves “… through all the smoke and mirrors I guess we do the best we can.” Legendary keyboardist Ian McLagan (from the Faces in the 60’s) plays some great honky-tonk piano on the record, particularly on “Freeway View.” Moving to his politically charged “We Can’t Make It Here,” off of 2005’s Childish Things album, we hear a laundry list of problems facing society; including VA budgets stretched too thin, mills closings and nothing to ship anymore. But it’s one of McMurtry’s

songs from 2002’s Saint Mary of the Woods album that may be his best known: “Choctaw Bingo.” A rambling story about a family reunion in Oklahoma, it goes on to describe members of the family, where they’re living and their various vices. Finally, we hear the title track from his 1989 debut album: Too Long in the Wasteland, which has some great lead guitar work by Tim Holt. I met McMurtry after a recent show at Dan’s Silverleaf in Denton. He was talking to some loyal followers out in the parking lot and having his picture taken. You could tell he was enjoying it despite having done it a thousand times before. Wearing a white fedora over curly long hair, a beard you could not refer to as “groomed” and a pair of round spectacles…central casting couldn’t have done a better job. Part of his magic is due to the members of McMurtry’s band. They started the evening out as a trio, with Darren Hess on drums and Ronnie Johnson on bass. These guys are one tight rhythm section that knows every song inside and out. Johnson’s backup vocals are flawless and his voice really compliments McMurtry’s. About half way through the show, the aforementioned Tim Holt joined the band to add a second guitar. There’s an art to playing lead guitar and blending the sound with the rhythm. Holt has a subtle way of weaving in and out of the melody without taking over a song. Together, they all made McMurtry’s sound special and the audience let them know it that night. Yes, some people were just born to play the Continental Club on Wednesday nights in Austin. That is, when they aren’t globetrotting around the world sharing their talent with it. Fortunately, for me, there are also people who were born to write about it.

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

10. The Governor

James McMurtry – Just Us Kids

Dallas Museum of Art—Dallas The artist, Jill Foley, uses a unique material, recycled cardboard, to create naturalistic forms and makeshift home furnishings to envelop visitors in an active living space. Get inspiration for what to do with all of those pizza boxes you always throw out, fat ass!

Thur 8/5 Jazz in the Atrium

Dallas Museum of Art—Dallas Mahogany and the Jam Box perform a blend of swing, soul and rhythm & blues. Enjoy live jazz in the Atrium every Thursday and casual dinner and cocktails in the Atrium Cafe. 6-8 p.m.

Fri 8/6 1964…The Tribute

2. We Can’t Make It Here

Wed 8/4 The Living Room (exhibit)

Bass Performance Hall—Fort Worth 1964...The Tribute takes the audience on a musical journey to an era in rock history. 1964 recreates an early 1960’s live Beatles concert, with period instruments, clothing, hairstyles and onstage banter. Rolling Stone has called 1964, “the best Beatles tribute on Earth.”

Sat 8/7 Buchanan Antiques and Collectibles Market

James McMurtry – Live in Europe

Dallas Market Hall—Dallas Are you looking for an Atari or a t-shirt from Super Bowl XXVII (maybe it will bring the ‘Boys luck this season if you wear it religiously and don’t wash it)? This is the place to find old treasures to fill your man cave with.

Sun 8/8 Queensryche

House of Blues—Dallas Get out your Operation: Mindcrime cassette tape and spend the rest of the week practicing your air guitar solos. Show starts at 8:30pm.

Mon 8/9 National Scrabble Championship

MUSIC: James McMurtry 1. Choctaw Bingo

Intercontinental—Addison Want to find massive amounts of people dorkier than you? Thirty-one grueling games over five days to determine one champion. Dallas’ top rated player, Chris Cree, will be among the competitors along with over 400 other players from almost every state and Canadian province and as far away as Thailand. Runs August 6th through 11th, 9-6 p.m.

Tue 8/10 August Dollar Days at the Arboretum

James McMurtry

Dallas Arboretum Celebrate the final days of summer at the Dallas Arboretum where everyone pays $1 admission everyday through the month of August. Yeah, it’s hotter than Tabasco Sauce on a ghost chili, but it’s a cheap date that makes you look wellcultured. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com

RANGERS:News

by: Craig Smith

“Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

AIRHOGS:News

Rangers Acquire Depth for Playoff Push Streaking Past the Diablos The first place Texas Rangers have reached good possibility of making the playoffs so August with an 8 game lead in the division a roster with proper depth is a must. Jorge (largest in all of baseball) over the second Cantu who plays first and third base was place Los Angeles Angels. They went 3- acquired in a trade with the Florida Marlins. 3 on the week against the A’s and Angels. He was added to split time at first with the The first game against struggling Chris Davis. Oakland was by far the In a surprising move the best of the week. Cliff Rangers decided to keep Lee was the starter and Moreland and optioned had 13 strikeouts which Davis back to Oklahoma is his career high and City. A quality second once again pitched nine baseman was needed with innings. The game was Kinsler out so they went won by Texas in the and made another trade, 10th inning as Nelson acquiring Cristian Guzman Cruz hit a two run from the Washington Meet your newest Texas Rangers walk-off home run. Ian Nationals. They are Kinsler was placed on the DL on Thursday definitely preparing for post season play with a groin injury. They brought up Mitch which is pretty exciting for us long time Moreland to take his spot on the roster. fans. Rich Harden, who hadn’t pitched for Moreland played in his first career MLB the Rangers since June 11, returned Saturday game that night and started at first base. He and looked surprisingly good as he got the went 2-4 as Texas beat Oakland 7-4. win over the Angels. Scott Feldman has The trade deadline was last Saturday been moved to the bullpen. and Texas was extremely busy last week This week they stay on the west coast adding players to the roster. The Rangers as they play three games at Seattle and three usually are quiet this time of year in in Oakland. acquiring players. This year they have a real

There is nothing like the naked glory of three late-inning victories to brighten the mood of the AirHogs clubhouse. After a brutal start to the second half of the season, the AirHogs took three-of-four games from the visiting El Paso Diablos over the weekend, two of which were earned in the bottom of the ninth—one with a walk-off home run, the other a walk-off-walk—but both equally gratifying. The first-place visiting Pensacola Pelicans—in town for a three-game series— remain in the lead of the South Division over the Shreveport-Bossier Captains. In the North Division, the Sioux Falls Pheasants remain in first over the St. Paul Saints, who are behind only a game-and-a-half. Off-The-Field News OSU Sports Information Last Tuesday night, AirHogs field manager Pete Incaviglia was inducted into the Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame. Incaviglia was a standout for Oklahoma State from 1983-85, smashing an NCAArecord 100 career home runs and turning in a .915 career slugging percentage. In 1985, he enjoyed the most remarkable season in

by: Cassie R. Cullins AirHogs Media

Inky was inducted into the Oklahoma Sports Hall of Fame

college baseball history, blasting 48 homers and collecting 143 RBIs, both of which still stand as NCAA records. With “Inky” in the lineup, OSU made three appearances in the College World Series. He was a two-time, first-team AllAmerican (1984, 1985), a two-time, firstteam All-Big Eight Conference selection (‘84 & ‘85) and is one of only two players to earn Big Eight Tournament MVP honors twice (‘84 & ‘85). In 1999, Incaviglia was named the College Baseball Player of the Century by Baseball America, and he was elected into the College Baseball Hall of Fame in 2007. Incaviglia was the eighth-overall pick in the 1985 Major League Baseball Draft and spent 12 years in the majors.

Photo Courtesy: Kim Cullins

Photo Courtesy: Chris J. Nelson, Paul Kehrer

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6 August 4 - 10, 2010

August 4 - 10, 2010 7

Ocho Uno

Photo Courtesy: Tammy Ferrufino

The NFL now has a team that might just go down as the most entertaining team in league history. Terrell Owens has signed a one-year deal with the Bengals. He is 36 and no longer a lead wide receiver but Carson Palmer had been working out with him in California and liked what he saw. Owens wanted to sign there earlier in the summer but the Bengals chose to sign Antonio Bryant instead. There are now concerns about Bryant’s knee which may have led to the Owens signing. Cincinnati must improve their passing game which ranked 26th in the league last year. Chad Ochocinco has already named the receiving tandem Batman and Robin. They both currently have their own reality shows on VH1. They are two of the most flamboyant guys to ever play in the NFL. Can you imagine the touchdown celebrations these guys will come up with? The Bengals have never been much

to watch. I lived in Lexington, Kentucky, for 16 years which is an hour away from Cincinnati. For years I had to put up with the frustration of having them as the TV game each week and this was before satellite came around. I can’t recall knowing any Bengal fans back then or anyone who even watched them. How many Bengals can you name from the 90’s or earlier? I doubt anyone can name more than Boomer Esiason, Anthony Munoz, and Ickey Woods. I remember going to a Cowboy game at Riverfront stadium in 1996 and the crowd being almost all Cowboy fans. I think those days are over and they just may be the most watched team in the league this year. They will be entertaining to watch this year for sure. Ocho Uno & Ochocinco

by: Craig Smith

“Sportsologist” - csmith@blitzweekly.com

have combined for over 24,000 yards receiving and 160 touchdown receptions (not sure how many involved dances). Will there be enough passes to go around? The two close friends say that won’t be a problem. Will Owens ruin the locker room? I don’t think so. He was quiet last year in Buffalo and not really a disruption here in Dallas. Are they a better team with him? All I know is that I can’t wait to find out the answers. I will be pulling out my Bengals gear from the closet and heading to a local sports bar to watch them play if they’re not on regular TV. Get your popcorn and sombrero ready!

MLB: Rangers vs Athletics Fri. August 6 – 9:05PM – Oakland Coliseum – KTXA-21 Still in first place, the Rangers find themselves starting the final series of their long road trip. The games against the A’s are important. SP Harden will face his former team in the ballpark that he knows all too well. The A’s send out Dallas Braden who had a perfect game earlier this season.

MLB: Red Sox vs Yankees Sat. August 7 – 3:10PM – Yankee Stadium – FOX There is no love lost when these two teams face each other. This week’s game features two starting pitchers with double digit wins. Boston sends John Lackey to the mound while New York has CC Sabathia who has lost in his last two starts. If Boston is going to catch the Yankees in the standings, they’ll have to win the head-tohead games..

NASCAR: The Watkins Glen International Sun. August 8 – NOON – Watkins Glen International – ESPN Greg Biffle won at Pocono last Sunday finally giving the checkered flag to Ford. This week’s race will be up in New York and this track will require even more of the drivers. Watkins Glen is one of the oldest tracks. It opened in 1956 and is a road course. The 2.45-mile track has seven right-hand turns.

NFL: Cowboys vs Bengals Sun. August 8 – 7PM Fawcett Stadium – NBC The 2010 season is finally here with a match up between the two division champions. The Bengals have Carson Palmer at the helm with Batman and Robin running routes. The Cowboys, celebrating their 50th year, begin the journey to this year’s Super Bowl in Canton. Sure the starters might play two series but it’ll be nice to see the gridiron back in action!

Photo Courtesy: James D. Smith

Steele Cage 3 has put together their biggest show to date this Friday, August 6, at the Dr. Pepper Arena in Frisco with a special appearance and tribute to UFC Hall of Famer Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell. Chuck will be cageside 90 minutes before the show for autographs and pictures! Plus, Hall of Fame Dallas Cowboy Randy White will be in attendance – be prepared for something special for “The Manster” as well. Steele Cage is also promoting its first Steele Cage 170lb Championship presented by Xirrus – Joe “Jitsu” Christopher (103) vs. Joey “The Takedown Wizard” Gorczynski (16-9). This will be a rematch as Gorczynski won via submission in 2009.

Photo Courtesy: Howard Davis

Special Appearance & Tribute to Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell

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Steele Cage 3

Another subplot is Gorczynski is from fessionalism earned them a sponsorship Oklahoma and Christopher is from Texas from apparel giant, House of Pain. Both – a “Red River Shootout” in the making. guys caught the attention of Hall of Fame The semi-main event pits Douglas Frey Referee Richard Steele earlier this year (8-3) vs. Joseph Sandoval (3and will be featured in up0). Frey is ready to take his coming shows. game to the next level and Look out for Ira “The get the national recognition Hurricane” Boyd to come he craves, perhaps a move to out swinging in his secthe WEC down the line. But ond fight with Steele Cage. before that can happen, he Boyd comes fast and hard must get past Sandoval who from the opening bell and is not coming to Frisco to lie like a hurricane, looks to down and will give Frey all take his opponent off their he can handle. feet. Whether you want him Also featured is Dallas to win or lose, everyone apFirefighter Brad Cox who preciates “The Hurricane”! along with his twin broth Tickets are going fast so er Brian are both MMA buy now at DrPepperArena. Fighters and Firefighters. com – use the Blitz Weekly Meet “The Iceman” this Friday! Although they don’t have promotional discount code many fights under their belt – ATTUV – which will proas opponents seem to disappear as their vide $75 for $60, $50 for $40 and $25 for fight approaches, their potential and pro- $20!!

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8 August 4 - 10, 2010

by: Brian Beard “Ultimate Fighter”

Anderson Silva (26-4-0) vs. Chael Sonnen (26-20-1):

I’m torn here. Not a lot of people are giving Sonnen much of a chance at all. I, however, disagree. I truly believe that Silva is a better all around fighter but I’m not sure he is quite as tough as Sonnen. Chael is not afraid to make a fight ugly and that is what he must do here. For him to win, it doesn’t need to be exciting, just ugly and rough. He needs to dry hump Silva’s leg for the entire fight, not letting him use his striking effectively. Silva is no slouch on the ground, but Sonnen’s wrestling can own this fight if he can get the fight to the mat and keep it there. He is as tough as they come but he does not want to stand up and take too many shots from Silva. A lot of sh!t has been talked so it is time to back it up. I think Sonnen can pull it off. Sonnen by decision. I know, I know, ballsy call, but it could happen.

Jon Fitch (25-3-0) vs. Thiago Alves (22-5-0):

These cats fought three years ago when Fitch scored a TKO in the second round. I don’t see that happening this time around as Fitch’s last six fights have ended in unanimous decisions with him losing only one! He is a bad mofo and his wrestling, tenacity and mountain man beard are forces to be reckoned with. Alves is an absolute freak and is extremely powerful. He really is a complete mixed martial artist, but he hasn’t fought in over a year. That concerns me a little. He has also had some trouble making weight in the past so we’ll see. I am going to go out on a limb and predict Alves by KO, second round. Sorry, Fitch.

Matt Hughes (45-7-0) vs. Ricardo Almeida (12-3-0):

Could this be the classic tale of a student coming back to avenge a loss for his teacher? Hughes, a legend in the sport, recently defeated Renzo Gracie who is Almeida’s teacher. I doubt this is what this fight is about, but whatever you need to build excitement, go for it. If this fight goes to the ground, it will be an excellent one. Hughes is a great wrestler with very good ground skills. Almeida has a world class submission game and is more than comfortable on the mat. If these two choose to stand up and avoid the other’s strength, then this fight will be boring. I am going to call Hughes by decision.

Presented By: The Gym • 921 West Mayfield #112 • Arlington, Texas 817-652-1555 • www.thegym.org

August 4 - 10, 2010 9

Give the Blitz readers some background on who you are. by: Frank LaCosta “DFW’s Beer Hunter”

My background of brewing beer starts in the early 1800s with my great, great grandfather. He opened his first brewery in 1800 in Germany in an area that translates into Franco. And since my great, great grandfather started that company, my whole family has been in the business. I didn’t have a big choice…I was born into it. I earned my masters in Beer and Food Science from a college in Germany. I moved to Dallas in the summer of ‘03 and worked as a corporate brewmaster. After learning a little about Texas beer, more specifically North Texas, I learned there wasn’t that big of a beer industry here.

When most folks think of beer, they think of the big three: Budweiser, Coors, Miller. What Photos Courtesy: Franconia Brewing Company

kind of obstacles did you have to overcome to introduce your brand into the market here?

I don’t really look at them as competition or a hurdle because what they do is macro brews. We try to specialize in something. We don’t want to compete with them. We want to do our own thing and our product is completely different from what those guys are doing. We try to specialize in German beer because that’s where I am from. We try to provide DFW with the freshest German beer. And I don’t think there is any competition there.

What’s the next step for you then?

We grow our business constantly by gaining new customers. The market out there is still tough. I mean, there are more beer labels not just Franconia. We have to make sure we are keeping our customers. We want to add new customers. We also want to grow our portfolio. We have four beers year round and we have seaWhen man created beer, it was not all created the same. Most of us have come to know beer through the domestic brands such as Budweiser, Coors and Miller and their “light” sisters Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Lite. It seemed as if consuming as much of it as possible in one sitting was the goal of the average beer drinker. It seemed as if it were a rite of passage. The similar recipes have been massed produced by the big three breweries with one goal: consume mass quantities. We have been bombarded with print ads, radio and television commercials. The average guy can barely distinguish one brand from the next and these beers can be interchanged during consumption without much thought. Then, out of the upper northwest corner of the U.S., a small band of beer drinkers began to notice that the non-mainstream breweries produced beer with actual flavor. Each small brewery had different recipes with different ingredients. These niche beers had a market and it began to grow in the early ‘90s.

Understanding the Market Segments

To even begin to understand the world of craft beer one has to learn about the classifications of the market. There are four of them. The biggest market here in the U.S. is that of the “Large Brewery.” A Large Brewery is defined as one that has an annual beer production of over 2,000,000 barrels. Think of the big three in the aforementioned intro as representatives of the Large Brewery class. Everyone has heard of the Microbrewery. This is a brewery that produces less than 15,000 barrels of beer each year with 75% or more of its beer sold off site. Typically, they sell their beer to the public through one of three methods. The first method is to have their beer sold to a wholesaler who in turns sells it to a retailer who sells it to the public. Imagine the mark up there and taxation, of course! The second method is simpler: the brewer sells their beer to a retailer who sells it to the public. The third and most simple is for the brewer to sell directly to the public. This is typically done through consumer

sonal beers, too. We have to continue growing into the seasonal beers. If you want to ask me how big we want to grow, I don’t want to grow too big. I want to keep the specialty in the beer and the quality in the beer. How big that is? The future will teach me.

What is your typical workday? You said you start early.

I try to start early around 7:30 in the morning. The day is over when the work is done. I don’t think there is one week where we work under 80 hours, for me and my guys. We have weeks where we work 120-130 hours.

That is serious dedication…

It is really fun to do. I love what I do. I love to see my customers…talking to them. I love them and I love seeing them. If you don’t love what you do, then there is a problem.

As far as craft beer goes, where do you see that industry going?

Right now, it is really big. If you follow the beer industry a little bit, the macro breweries like Miller and those guys are dropping in sales. The micro breweries and craft beers are increasing in sales. There is no doubt about it. It is a nice change to see. As people get more educated about good beer, they are willing to try different beers. The game is open from this moment on. I see a bright future for craft brews. DFW is probably one of the hottest beer markets in the United States.

Do you use different ingredients or different recipes or do you try to focus on being consistent? How do you keep developing the craft beer world?

That doesn’t really work for us at Franconia Brewing Company. I allow only four ingredients: malt barley, hops, water and yeast. With those four ingredients, you can do a lot. You can play with the blend of the malts… the temperature…fermentation. But doing other recipes doesn’t work for me. I do beer by German Puritan Law, which is the four ingredients. Other breweries don’t do that. Our concept is brewing German beer. There are a lot of German beers available, but our beer is fresh; it’s not 6 months old. It is not traveling from Germany through different temperatures.

carryouts or restaurant sales. Next in line is the fabled Brewpub. As the name implies, the restaurant-brewery sells 25% or more of its beer on site at its venue. The beer is dispensed from its storage tanks and is usually consumed on-site. However, in states where beer is allowed to be sold “to go”, if the percentage of sales exceeds this 25% then the Brewpub is reclassified as…you guessed it, a microbrewery. Last but not least is the Regional Craft Brewery which is defined as an independent regional brewery who either has an all malt flagship or has at least 50% of it’s volume in either all malt beers or in beers which use adjuncts to increase the flavor rather than lighten it. Again though, they can only produce between 15,000 to 2,000,000 barrels per year.

What Makes Craft Beer Different?

Now that you understand the numbers in place by the Brewers Association, you know that not all beer tastes the same. The

Large Breweries have picked up on the fact that discerning beer drinkers prefer to actually have flavorful beers for different occasions. That is why you see brands such as Bud Light Golden Wheat and Budweiser American Ale. Sure, they have the capability to produce mass amounts of beer and to distribute them throughout the beer drinking community, but they are not able to create every single different flavor that brewmasters are capable of. Different palates prefer different flavored beer. The basic brewing process is the same but it’s the ingredients used that create craft beers. From the water to the starch source to the hops to the yeast to the clarifying agent, all go into making a different flavored beer. Live life a little and give craft beer a chance. It is the largest growing segment of beer sales and it contributes to the economy. In the future, we’ll discuss the different types of craft beer and their unique characteristics.

blitzweekly.com

Dennis Wehrmann is one of the good guys introducing the metroplex to better tasting beer. He does this by producing his own beer up in McKinney at his brewery the “Blitz Worthy” Franconia Brewing Company. They offer tours every Saturday at 11am for $5 (samples included). Dennis was kind enough to take a few minutes out of his busy day to answer a few questions.

blitzweekly.com

10 August 4 - 10, 2010

Brewed in Holland since 1873, this Dutch-style lager is smooth, elegant, crisp and balanced. Its mildly bitter taste, fresh, fruity aroma, bright color, and exceptional clarity are obtained using only the purest water, hops, and barley malt. These quality ingredients and their secret “Ayeast” give Heineken its distinctive taste. Heineken goes great with just about everything - mild cheeses, fruits, salads, chicken and seafood. ABV: 5.0

Brewed since 1846, Peroni is Italy’s best selling lager. Beers under the Peroni brand include Crystall, Peroni Gran Riserva, Peroncino, Peroni Leggera and our favorite Nastro Azzurothe. Crisp and lightly sparkling, not heavy, bitter or bloating, Peroni Nastro Azzurro is a breath of fresh air and a very drinkable beer. As you might have guessed, it goes great with pastas, sausages and pizza. ABV: 5.1

First brewed by the Titio brothers in 1939, a lager called Rolling Rock has become an American success story. Brewed using a time-honored recipe, Rolling Rock is a classic American lager that is as well known for its distinctive, full-bodied taste as it is for its craftsmanship, heritage and painted green bottle. Rolling Rock is a premium extra pale lager brewed with small-town care. This lager is crisp and refreshing with a signature easy-to-drink flavor. Goes well with chicken, salmon or sausage. ABV: 4.6

Photo Courtesy: Tim Parkinson, Abe Bingham

Name of the Game: “Viking” Supplies: People, Beer Rules and Regulations: Players sit in a circle. Either flip a coin, draw straws or just appoint someone to go first. The player makes “wiggly viking horns,” simply thumbs in, or near, ears and wiggles the remaining fingers for a second or two, then claps both palms together, and points them at any other player. This player then does the “viking horns,” but the player on each side of the “viking” must “steer the boat.” This entails making a vigorous rowing motion. The Viking then claps both palms together and designates another Viking. This continues until either the designated Viking misses his/her cue, or either rower fails to row the boat in the appropriate direction; whoever fails drinks, and then that person resumes play with the horns.

Name of the Game: “Beer Blow” Supplies: People, Beer, Deck of Cards, Empty Bottle Rules and Regulations: The deck of cards is placed on the mouth of the empty bottle. Each player takes turns blowing cards off the deck on the bottle. The one who blows the last card off the bottle has to drink one glass of beer. Variation: If somebody spots an ace among the cards a player blew off - that player has to drink once. Example: if someone blows down a bunch of cards and two aces are visible, that person would drink twice. Name of the Game: “Star Wars” Supplies: The Star Wars Trilogy (one movie for a short game), Ample Supply of Beer, Light Sabers (optional) Rules and Regulations: Every time one of the following occurs in the movie, everybody takes a sip of their beer.

Founded in Bremen, Germany, in 1873, Beck’s is Germany’s leading exported beer and is enjoyed in 120 countries around the world. Beck’s is made with soft water from a deep well in the Rotenburgen Rinne and uses a yeast unique to Beck’s. This classic German Pilsner carries a distinctive full-bodied taste, with a fresh “hoppy” bouquet, golden color and a rich full head. Beck’s pairs well with many foods mild cheeses, poultry, fish and lamb, as well as spicy Mexican, Thai or Chinese dishes. ABV: 5.0

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Harp Lager was first produced in 1960 by the Great Northern Brewery, in Dundalk, Ireland. This classic Irish lager has a pleasant, buttery sweet aroma. Crisp and dry, Harp finishes remarkably smooth. Harp’s distinctive, refreshing taste has earned it six gold medals in the Monde Selection beer tasting competition. Try it with BBQ, a burger or layer Harp Lager and Guinness for an authentic Black & Tan and enjoy with bread pudding. ABV: 5.0

Grolsch has been dedicated to brewing some of the world’s finest beers since 1615. Grolsch is famous around the world for it’s distinctive flavor and unique swing-top bottle. This Dutch style lager features a delicate, toasty pale malt. Citrus aromas are followed by a tangy and smooth hint of spice. Grolsch exhibits a characteristically creamy head and a smooth and fullbodied taste. It goes well with lighter foods - salmon, chicken, salads, even fruit and berries. ABV: 5.0

A woman other than Leia is on screen Someone exclaims “Nooooo!” Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea Twice if it’s not Han Someone is mind-controlled using the Force A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray An elaborately made up alien has no lines Someone or something tries to get money from Han Luke whines Luke discovers a long-lost relative Luke is upside-down Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time Twice if they speak to each other Luke refuses to take someone’s advice Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands Twice if it covers her neck Three times if she’s almost totally nude Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance Han brags about the Millenium Falcon Yoda uses bad grammar C-3PO loses a body part A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white Twice if they’re non human (co-pilots count) A Rebel Pilot says “Nice Shot...” A Rebel Pilot says “I’ve been hit...”

August 4 - 10, 2010 11 blitzweekly.com

Since its founding in 1847, the Labatt Brewing Company has become an internationally renowned brewer. Labatt is the best selling Canadian beer in the world. This pilsner is well balanced and full flavored with a fruity character and slightly sweet after taste. Goes great with beaver, moose and hockey. Try it with pizza, sausage and pasta, too. ABV: 5.0

In 1888, after enduring one of the coldest winters on record, Leinenkugel’s Spring Brewery crafted their first seasonal beer to celebrate the coming of spring. They blended dark and pale roasted malted barley with select hops, and allowed for longer aging to create a robust beer with an exceptionally creamy head. Game dishes, particularly venison, are an outstanding pairing. ABV: 5.1

k gentlemen, so you want to cook some good food, and like any good bachelor, your refrigerator is filled with little food and a lot of beer. Not a problem. I will go over two recipes that are simple to make, include beer and will definitely help persuade the opposite sex to visit the other rooms in your house. First things first. You will not need anything special as far as what is in the kitchen. Ok, so let’s get started! Simple, easy and always a hit. Here is a small list of what we are going to need: 1. Brats. Pick out the ones you like the best, but for the love of all things women, do not get the pre-cooked ones. 2. An Onion (your choice, red, yellow, white, I don’t care) 3. Hot Dog Buns 4. Beer (your choice, but I prefer a good German Lager) 5. Foil Pan

Founded in 1778 by two grain merchants, Boddingtons has been enjoyed by English Ale drinkers for more than 200 years. Boddingtons is known throughout England as “The Cream of Manchester” and is sold as Boddingtons Draught Bitters. It is now sold in over 30 countries using the name Boddingtons Pub Ale. Using nitrogen and lightly-kilned English malt, the Boddingtons brewers produce a unique and easy-to-drink ale. It has a clean aroma and mild flavor which makes it great with chicken, salmon, bratwurst and Monterey Jack cheese. ABV: 4.8

Boulevard Pale Ale is a smooth, fruity, well-balanced beer with year-round appeal. A variety of caramel malts give it a rich flavor and amber color. Liberal use of whole hops adds zest and aroma. Pale Ale was Boulevard’s first beer brewed, and continues to be a favorite. Boulevard Pale Ale provides a nice balance to spicy or full flavored foods. ABV: 5.1

Ok, now that we have you salivating, we will get started cooking… 1. Fire up the grill (low heat) 2. Lay out the brats and let them cook slow and low. 3. If you puncture them, I will sell your kids to the garment factory and turn your wife into a dirty pirate hooker. 4. Let them cook slowly until they are golden on each side. 5. Put the foil pan on the grill, add the onions, beer and the brats. 6. Let them swim in the goodness until the onions are done. 7. Put the brat on the bun with the onions, add your favorite condiments and enjoy! 8. IF you are in one of those fascist apartment complexes that has a Mel Gibson hatred toward grills, then simply boil the brats on your stove. Simple? Easy? Yes. Now lets move onto the next meal of the gods…

Purchased by Heineken in 1983, Murphy’s Irish Stout became Murphy’s Irish Red for export outside of the U.K. Regardless of the name, Murphy’s has been brewed according to the original recipe in Cork, Ireland since 1856. Chocolate malts and roasted barley give Murphy’s its distinctive characteristics and flavor. In contrast to its chief competitor Guiness, Murphy’s is lighter and sweeter with absolutely no carbonation. Goes great with steaks, oysters even desserts like chocolate mousse! ABV 5.0

A traditional lager with an authentic Irish heritage, based on the Killian’s family’s recipe created in Enniscorthy, Ireland in 1864. Coors acquired the rights to brew and market the product in America and Killian’s was introduced to the U.S. in 1981. Killian’s Irish Red derives its distinctive red-amber color and taste from a special caramel malt that has been roasted at a high temperature longer and more slowly than most malts. ABV: 4.98

These guys know

BEER!

by: The Bachelor Chef

Executive Chief at Brassiere Enleve Avec L’Amour

3. Or Chicken. Or Bacon. Or whatever meat you want. Ye Olde list of stuff we need… 1. A skillet deep enough to add 1.5” of oil with another 1.5” space until the top. 2. Oil. I prefer peanut oil; other oils are: Vegetable, Canola, Corn. Do not use olive oil. Trust me… 3. Meat (for example, .25 pounds of Atlantic Cod. Not Pacific or specific, but Atlantic.” 4. 1 1/2 cups Flour with 1/2 teaspoon of black pepper, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 1/2 teaspoon of paprika 5. 1 Cup Beer (English Ales work great! I prefer Samuel Smith’s IPA.) Ok, let’s put this motley list of ingredients together! 1. Add the oil into the skillet until there is about 1-1.5 inches of oil. 2. Turn on the stove to medium high.

Combine the flour, pepper, salt and paprika into a small bowl. (Simple, right?) 4. Once the oil comes up to temp, pour one cup of beer into the bowl, and the rest of the beer into a glass. This is very important!! 5. Mix the flour and beer together and dredge (put the meat in) the flour and slowly lower it into the oil. 6. Cook it until it is golden brown. 7. Here is where the beer in the glass comes in… 8. Enjoy the beer in the glass. 9. Remove the meat from the oil and place it on a towel on a plate. 10. Let it cool and chow down!! Simple? Easy? See… Soon you will have the women flocking to your bachelor pad to dine on your sausage while commenting on the subtle fishy aroma of the kitchen.

August 4 - 10, 2010 13

LOCATION Addison Point 4578 Belt Line Rd. Addison (972) 661-2230 www.addisonpointbar.net

SUNDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

HH 11-7PM $2 16oz Domestic Drafts $1.50 12 oz Domestic Drafts $5 Domestic Pitchers $15 Domestic Buckets (All Day)

HH 11-7PM $2 16oz Domestic Drafts $1.50 12 oz Domestic Drafts $5 Domestic Pitchers

HH 11-7PM $2 16oz Domestic Drafts $1.50 12 oz Domestic Drafts $5 Domestic Pitchers $2.50 Domestic Longnecks

HH 11-7PM $2 16oz Domestic Drafts $1.50 12 oz Domestic Drafts $5 Domestic Pitchers

$2.50 Domestic Bottles & Drafts $3.50 Premium Drafts 4-7PM

HH 11-7PM $2 Domestics Pints $1.50 Pint - Miller HL $5 Pitchers Miller HL $2.25 Domestic Bottles

HH 11-7PM $2 Domestics Pints $1.50 Pint - Miller HL $5 Pitchers Miller HL $2.25 Domestic Bottles $2 All Taps - All Day/Night

HH 11-7PM $2 Domestics Pints $1.50 Pint - Miller HL $5 Pitchers Miller HL $2.25 Domestic Bottles

$6 Domestic Pitchers (All Day) $8 Premium Pitchers (All Day) $2 Domestic Drafts 11-8PM Tower of Power 104 oz $15 Domestic $18 Premium

$6 Domestic Pitchers (All Day) $8 Premium Pitchers (All Day) $2 Domestic Drafts 11-8PM Tower of Power 104 oz $12 Miller Lite, Coors Light $15 Domestic $18 Premium

$6 Domestic Pitchers (All Day) $8 Premium Pitchers (All Day) $2 Domestic Drafts 11-8PM Tower of Power 104 oz $15 Domestic $18 Premium

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer $2.50 Domestic Drafts

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer

$18 Buckets (All Day)

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer $2.50 Domestic Drafts

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer

$18 Buckets (All Day)

$6.50 Domestic Pitchers

$2 Domestic Pints 11-3PM

Angry Dog 2726 Commerce St. Dallas (214) 741-4406 www.angrydog.com Buffalo Joe’s 3636 Frankford Rd. Dallas (214) 483-5225 www.thebuffalojoes.com

HH 11-7PM $2 Domestics Pints $1.50 Pint - Miller HL $5 Pitchers Miller HL $2.25 Domestic Bottles

Duke’s Original Roadhouse 4180 Belt Line Rd. Addison (972) 503-2337 www.dukesoriginalroadhouse.com

$6 Domestic Pitchers (All Day) $8 Premium Pitchers (All Day) $2 Domestic Drafts 11-8PM Tower of Power 104 oz $15 Domestic $18 Premium

Frankie’s 3227 McKinney Ave. Dallas (214) 999-8932 www.frankiesbar.com Frankie’s 2516 S. Stemmons Frwy. Lewisville (214) 488-1100 www.frankiesbar.com

Best Beer Specials in Town

HH 11-7PM $1 Off Beer

$6 Domestic Pitchers (All Day) $8 Premium Pitchers (All Day) $2 Domestic Drafts 11-8PM Tower of Power 104 oz $15 Domestic $18 Premium $2 Pint Night

(All Day)

$18 Buckets (All Day)

(All Day)

$18 Buckets (All Day)

$3 Domestic Bottles (All Day) $4.50 28 oz Domestic Drafts

$6.50 Domestic Pitchers

$1 Domestic Pints 11-9PM

$1 Domestic Pints 11-7PM

$1 Off All Beer 11-7PM

$1 Domestic Pints (All Day)

$1 Off All Beer 11-7PM

$1.75 Domestic Drafts $2.75 Import Drafts $2.25 Domestic Bottles $3.25 Import Bottles 4-7PM

$1.75 Domestic Drafts $2.75 Import Drafts $2.25 Domestic Bottles $3.25 Import Bottles 4-7PM $2.25 Mexican Bottles(All Day)

$1.75 Domestic Drafts $2.75 Import Drafts $2.25 Domestic Bottles $3.25 Import Bottles 4-7PM

$2.75 Pints & Domestic Bottles Noon-7PM $2.75 Miller High Life (All Day)

West End Pub 1801 N. Lamar Street Dallas (214) 748-5711 www.westendpubdallas.net

$3 Red Hook ESB Pints(All Day) $5.75 Ltd. Edition Deadlift Imperial IPA

$2.75 Domestic Drafts $3.75 Shiner Bock Draft $4.75 Craft Beer 4-7PM $3 Red Hook ESB Pints(All Day) $5.75 Ltd. Edition Deadlift Imperial IPA

$2.75 Domestic Drafts $3.75 Shiner Bock Draft $4.75 Craft Beer 4-7PM Free Craft Beer Glass Night $3 Red Hook ESB Pints (All Day) $5.75 Ltd. Edition Deadlift Imperial IPA

$2.75 Domestic Drafts $3.75 Shiner Bock Draft $4.75 Craft Beer 4-7PM $3 Red Hook ESB Pints (All Day) $5.75 Ltd. Edition Deadlift Imperial IPA

$2.75 Domestic Drafts $3.75 Shiner Bock Draft $4.75 Craft Beer 4-7PM $3 Red Hook ESB Pints(All Day) $5.75 Ltd. Edition Deadlift Imperial IPA

The Wild Turkey 2470 Walnut Hill Lane Dallas (214) 351-5383 www.thewildturkey.net

$5 Pitchers (All Day)

$5 Pitchers (All Day) $2 Select Drafts 3pm - 7:35pm

$5 Pitchers (All Day)

$5 Pitchers (All Day) $2 Select Drafts 3pm - 7:35pm

$2 Select Drafts 3pm - 7:35pm

Hat Tricks 101 E. Corporate Dr. Lewisville (972) 315-8406 www.hattricksdallas.com Malarkey’s Tavern 4460 Trinity Mills Rd. Dallas (972) 931-7300 www.malarkeystavern.com

(All Day)

Sol’s Nieto Mexican Grill 6334 E. Mockingbird Dallas (214) 826-5564 TimeOut Tavern 5101 W. Lovers Lane Dallas (214) 956-9552 www.totdfw.com

(All Day)

blitzweekly.com

BEER SPECIALS

by: The Bum

www.DallasRestaurantReviews.com

Photos Courtesy: The Bum

blitzweekly.com

14 August 4 - 10, 2010

The Angry Dog is a burger & beer joint that attracts a varied clientele who come for the above-average burgers, hot dogs and an extensive bar menu.

Angry Dog 2726 Commerce St. • Dallas 214-741-4406 • www.angrydog.com

Setting

An edgy-looking building in funky Deep Ellum, in the shadow of downtown. The neighborhood includes numerous clubs, cafes, tattoo parlors, piercing studios, offbeat art places and industrial uses. The place has character.

Food

Over the years, the Angry Dog has been cited in polls by Dallas publications for having (at various times) the best Hamburger, the best Hot Dog, the best Wings, the best Bar Food, the best Cheap Meal, the best Hangover Therapy and the best Late Night Hours (midnights on weekdays, 2 a.m. on weekends). They have 16 appetizers, a dozen sandwiches, 10 salads, and a bunch of other stuff like chicken-fried steak, which I hear is not bad. The burgers are large and juicy (if you like them that way – they’re cooked to order) and you pick the condiments. The signature hot dog (the “Angry Dog”) is a meal in itself and arrives heaped with extras, sprawled alongside a small mountain of French fries. You’ll probably need a fork and maybe some more napkins. The esteemed publisher of the Blitz Weekly – who himself is no stranger to bars or bar food – swears by the Angry Dog’s Spiedies sandwich (the “speedeez”), which is tangy, marinated chunks of chicken or beef, grilled and served on an 8” Italian roll. I tried it and have to admit, it’s good. The French fries, which accompany the sandwiches, are plentiful, to say the least.

Bar

This joint has a bar long enough to bowl on. There are 15-20 beers on tap and a lot more by the bottle. Plenty of other drinks are being shaken or mixed, as well. What’s not to love?

Ambiance

With its old brick walls and 1920’s pressed tin ceiling, it kind of reminds me of a dive I used to frequent near the railroad tracks in inner-city St. Louis. Patrons here are an eclectic bunch, from work boots to ties, high heels to tattoos. It’s a lively crowd, so management has “rules” about not harassing the ladies, using foul language, or annoying the bartender with requests to adjust the volume on the jukebox. There are about as many women as men.

Bottom Line

The Angry Dog can look a little edgy from the street (actually, I give extra points for that), but you’ll like what you find inside. Definitely recommended.

August 4 - 10, 2010 15 blitzweekly.com

And we thought the Freeboard has a lot of wheels. The Flowboard is yet another pavement-friendly snowboard/surfing simulating board, featuring a 7-ply Canadian rock maple deck and unique designs. Its Deep Curve System (DCS) is the real star of the show, however, featuring a 14-wheel, arched setup that lets you turn 45-degree angles with smooth edge-to-edge motion, eliminating wheel bite that could send you tumbling. Price - $90-$120

Sure, there’s a new play calling system that lets you play full games in half the time, but that might not be the most noticeable new feature of Madden NFL 11. Instead of piling on new, sometimes confusing gameplay features — the aforementioned play calling system and dual stick running back control are pretty much it — EA focused on recreating the in-stadium experience, complete with new commentary, and a more authentic soundtrack including rock classics “Thunderstruck,” “Welcome to the Jungle,” and “Crazy Train,” and team-specific songs like “Fly Eagles Fly,” and “Go Packers Go!” Price - $50-$60

Worried about thieves raiding your home while you’re on vacation, at work, or just passed out in the backyard? Then booby trap your house, Kevin McCallister-style, with the Burglar Blaster. This selfcontained unit uses a passive infrared intruder detection system to monitor areas up to 2,000 square feet, and releases an eye-destroying 4 oz. of pepper spray when triggered. It offers an adjustable entry time delay, a cast aluminum/alloy case, can run for years on a single set of C batteries, and will only help reaffirm your crippling paranoia. Price - $600

Bowling Hall of Fame Adds New Flavor to Metroplex Sports Menu by: Mark Miller

At “Man on the Street”

Photo Courtesy: Ron DeRoxtra/International Bowling Campus

the corner of Six Flags Drive and Road to Six Flags in Arlington, directly across from where screaming teenagers ride the roller coasters, is the newest addition to the city’s sports and entertainment district and the metroplex tourist scene.

The International Bowling Museum & Hall of Fame is part of a complex called the International Bowling Campus. The 100,000-square-foot Campus opened to bring most of bowling’s major organizations together to promote the sport. Between the IBM/HF to the north and International Training and Research Center to the south, the Campus is the corporate home of the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America, United States Bowling Congress, Strike Ten Entertainment, The Bowling Foundation, International Bowling Pro Shop and Instructors Association, Bowling and Billiards Association, Bowling Writers Association of America and Bowling News Network. “We have received much praise on the project, particularly as it relates to: 1) the integration of technology and interactive ex-

hibits, 2) the direction towards youth bowling and how bowling can provide a lifetime of benefits and rewards, and 3) the uniqueness of the exhibits in telling bowling’s story,” said IBM/HF Chairman Pat Cinello. History buffs will like the IBM/HF for tying bowling’s 5,000year history to world events and immigration to the United States. People more into modern times will enjoy a focus on how bowling is a lifetime sport and one of the world’s largest participatory sports. And everyone will be happy with the numerous interactive exhibits. The IBM/HF previously had been located in St. Louis, USBC in Greendale, Wis., and BPAA down the street. While BPAA and USBC began operations in November 2008, the IBM/HF had to start from scratch after closing its previous home about the same time. Construction took place throughout 2009 and was completed in time for the Jan. 25, 2010 grand opening that was celebrated by about 1,000 people in the parking lot in front of the complex. “This is one exciting day in Arlington,”

said Arlington Convention and Visitor’s Bureau President and Chief Executive Officer Jay Burgess at the grand opening. “It means so much to us in so many ways. The eyes of the world have been on us for awhile and you just added to that. We are the home of America’s pastime (Texas Rangers baseball), the home of America’s Team (the Dallas Cowboys) and now the home to the largest participatory sport in America.” The museum is open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Admission is $9.50 for adults under age 65, $7.50 for adults 65 and over and children age 4-18 and free for children 3 and under. USBC and BPAA members receive a $2 discount when showing their membership cards.

Visitors can park in the lot in front of the building or take the Arlington tourist trolley from nearby hotels or other Arlington attractions. For more information, call (817) 649-5105 or e-mail: info@bowlingmuseum. com.

By: Sybil Summers

sybilsummers.com

Things to Do Before You Die 10. Go to jail - Nothing teaches you a lesson quite like sitting in a cell with nothing but time to think about what you did wrong. 9. Wait tables - Or tend bar. Service industry gigs teach you to be courteous, clean up after yourself and how to tip appropriately. (Hint: 10% is never enough.) 8. Go camping - Beautiful scenery. Plus it’s a great excuse to not shower for days and drink at 10 a.m. Which brings us to number seven... 7. Get drunk - Seriously, who wants to die never having experienced the carefree fun that is a good buzz? And if you are one of those non-alcoholic teetotalers, nobody wants you at the party anyway. 6. Rescue a dog - Dogs can instantly make you happy and saving one is good for the soul. Bonus: Your dog will never be mad that you stayed out too late or forgot his birthday. 5. Trade dirty pictures via text message - Just be sure to delete ‘em before you die. 4. Skydive - If you’ve ever said the phrase,”Why would I jump out of a perfectly good airplane?” You, Sir, suck. 3. Volunteer at a soup kitchen Helping other people will make your heart smile. 2. Go to a Super Bowl - One of these years, save up, plan ahead and then trump all your friends’ mediocre sports stories. 1. Visit another country (preferably tropical) - Learn about different cultures, try unique food and experience the local strange. C’mon, you only live once!

HORRORSCOPES

FUNNIES Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind? A: Buy her another beer.

Q: If two lawyers jump off the Empire State building who wins? A: Society! Q: How does Tiger keep track of what hole he is playing? A: By the tattoo on her back. Blowing Chuncks Three women left separately after a very late night out drinking Guinness until the early hours. They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who had been the most drunk. The first gal claims that she was the drunkest, saying, “I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks.” To which the second gal replied, “You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don’t even have insurance!” And the third proclaimed, “I was by far the most drunk. I got home, I got in a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!” They all looked at each other for a moment. Then the first gal says: “Ladies, I don’t think you understand. Chunks is my dog.”

ACROSS: 1. Potato 5. Territory 9. A long narrow passage 14. Bring 15. District 16. Not married 17. October birthstone 18. Pass the tongue over 19. Not sit 20. Chew 22. Minor 23. Implore 24. German iris 26. Poetic time of day 29. A musical interval of eight tones 33. Long strip of cloth or paper 38. Charred 39. Ache 40. East African oryx 42. Bell sound 43. William Tell was one 45. Sink in 47. Unbending 48. Sailor’s affirmative

49. Long periods of geologic time 52. S S S S 57. Horde 60. Restive 63. Fritter away 64. Cog 65. Pro or con 66. Unearthly 67. Stetsons and derbies 68. Dwarf buffalo 69. Flora 70. Tall woody plant 71. Driven by lust DOWN: 1. Put one’s foot down 2. Ordered by the pope 3. Imperial decree 4. Triangular formation 5. After-bath powder 6. Murres 7. Odd-numbered page 8. Phony 9. Omen 10. Having no legal will 11. Smack 12. Gave temporarily

13. Swirl 21. Bright thought 25. Prayer beads 27. Fetus 28. Born 30. Operatic solo 31. A hole for the escape of gas or air 32. Border 33. Resorts 34. Fruity pastry 35. Grows in paddies 36. Embolden 37. Tear 41. Ocean 44. Chemical 46. Encounter 50. Not day 51. Besmirch 53. Rope fiber 54. Parisian river 55. Fund 56. Place 57. Exchange 58. Palisade 59. Largest continent 61. Head 62. Backside

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JOKES

August 4 - 10, 2010 17

Photo Courtesy: Keith Allison

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18 August 4 - 10, 2010 by: Pat Moran

Everyone Dislikes

“Man on His Throne” - pmoran@gmail.com

Crossword Solution

Alex Rodriguez. Everyone. It’s a universally accepted fact. It’s a pretty obvious sentiment that baseball fans loathe the guy, but when your own teammates dislike you, it’s pretty low. The guy has spurned multiple fan bases (including my Seattle Mariners...), took the biggest contract of all time and sent the Rangers face first into bankruptcy, admitted to taking steroids and has an ego that is bigger than most rookie contracts. And now he is probably going to break the all time home run record. Great. Yippee. Awesome. Grand. Woop de freaking doo. He’s currently 7th on the all time list and he’s only 35 years old. Barring any unforeseen injuries, it looks like he’s it. The sports media is trying to get everyone excited about his quest for his

600th home run but it really isn’t catching on.

The reason: It doesn’t matter.

After Barry Bonds’ sh!t show in 2007 and the Sosa/McGwire charade in 1999, the negative burnout against the home run era is palpable. It’s a tainted record in a sport that cherishes its records more than anything. And we are supposed to care that A-Rod is going to beat out Barry Bonds? That’s like choosing whether it’s better to get kicked in the nuts or punched in the face. They both suck. But just look at some of the other guys on the top 100 list linked to performance enhancing drugs... Bonds, Sosa, McGwire, Palmeiro, Manny, Garry Sheffield, Canseco, Giambi, Albert Belle, Mo Vaughn, David Ortiz, Matt

Dazed and Confused in the Redneck Riviera by: Jesse Whitman Jwhitman00@gmail.com

Author’s Note: Names have not been changed in order to convict the guilty and give due credit to the innocent. I had to get out of my parents’ house. The flies were starting to swarm over me like a dead carcass. So I headed to Jax Beach to work for my brother at one of the worst but most profitable jobs I’ve ever had--which was not prostitution by the way, but close--I’ll get to that later. My brothers’ lives were always full of chaos, and because of their hard partying, their livers, as well. At Casey’s place, his roommate Dave, who was sporting a mullet, was at his usual post on the couch watch-

Williams, Juan Gonzalez.... the list goes on and on. Is it really surprising that someone like A-Rod gets to represent the most tarnished of records? Not at all. The record has lost its significance and now we turn to other modern-era records for importance. The DiMaggio streak, Ted Williams .406 average, Denny McLain’s 31 wins in a year and Pete Rose’s 4,256 career hits. Those are what are the important ones. Thanks for everything, Mr. Rodriguez, but nobody cares.

She flopped around her ing NASCAR while my brother volving tile floors when he was was emerging from an alcohol- twelve. Crispy, his neighbor, house, trying to convince me induced coma from last night’s wandered in and blasted The that she preferred sleeping on exploits. His bad judgment re- Doors on the stereo. the floor and not having any fursulted in bringing home a young “Crispy! I love the Doors niture aside from an inflatable trollop with a fake ID who was but a person can only listen to ottoman. She was also trying now changing to the chanto convince me that her nel to MTV, much to the plain tuna folded in a let“Do we have any consternation of Dave. tuce leaf was the most de “Who’s that jailbait licious thing she had ever corndogs left? I want to taking over the TV?” his eaten. So I waited, and fipunish myself.” lone four teeth bravely nally she broke down and quivering with agitation. told me she had been in a Casey could have countered ‘Riders on the Storm’ so many five-car pile up, which doesn’t with an apt complaint of his times.” A look of hurt and disap- sound too bad since no one was trailer trash girlfriend who had a pointment came over his perma- hurt, but she was driving an amfour-year-old still in diapers, but glazed eyes. bulance and had fallen asleep at one thing at a time. “Do we have “It’s Van Morrison,” he the wheel, a result of sleep depriany corndogs left? I want to pun- said, pointing to the enormous vation, insufficient nutrition and ish myself.” likeness of Morrison that cov- insomnia. Meanwhile, as I navigated ered his back. “It’s so depressing,” she through the minefield of beer “Goddamit. Buttercup!” said, trying to balance on the otbottles, dirty socks and cock- Dalen had found his retainer but toman. “I have to drive these old roaches hangliding from the it had been chewed beyond rec- blue hairs to their nursing homes ceiling, I waited to go to work, ognition by his dog. Work was and I have to lie to them and say but that wasn’t going to happen, now definitely out of the ques- their family is inside waiting for not today. So I went to my other tion, so I stopped by Bonnie’s, them, which isn’t true at all. But brother Dalen’s where I found my best friend since childhood. otherwise they won’t get out of things were even more hectic She was a very confused, closet- the van.” As I watched her fallthan usual. He was rummaging ed lesbian from a devout South- ing off the inflatable ottoman, through the house in a frantic ern Baptist family. She had just her eyes dark and puffy and her search. gotten back from wandering the body exhausted and malnour “Goddamit. I can’t find my Outback solo for five months, ished, I wanted so badly to feed retainer.” His front teeth were which I suppose is what happens her a hamburger. missing from an unfortunate when you’re a closeted lesbian indoor water fight incident in- with Southern Baptist parents. To be continued…