VOL. 3 - ISSUE 3
3
Study: Flamboyant Male Dancing Attracts Women Best
BLITZ News Shorts 3 Hollywood Profile/Movie Review 4 Music: Times of Grace 5 Rangers News / TCU / SMU / UNT Previews 6 Reggie Reprimanded 7 Cowboys Previews 8 Drive-Thru Beer Barns in Dallas 9 COVER STORY: Guide to Tex-Mex Our Favorite Restaurants 10-11 BLITZ BABE: Tabitha 12 The Dublin Blues 13 Food Review: Jen’s Place 14 Blitz Toys 15 Crossword / Jokes / Horrorscopes 17 Last Call: Bad Joke 18 PUBLISHER Kelly G. Reed EDITOR Jennifer Wayne CREATIVE DIRECTOR / WEBSITE / GRAPHIC DESIGN Damien William Mayfield COVER Cover Photography: Steven Hendrix Cover Design: Damien William Mayfield STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Darryl Briggs, Gregg Case, Nathaniel Chadwick, Kent Gilley, Tim Gravens, Steven Hendrix, Matt Pearce, Jason Ryan, Ed Westerman CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Keith Allison, Dave Black, Luke Ford, Jerome Patrick, Taro Taylor, Robert J. La Verghetta, Wigstruck STAFF WRITERS Tony Barone, Geoff Case, Vivian Fullerlove, Robin George, Eric Kendall, Frank LaCosta, Pat Moran, Richard S. Pollak, Craig Smith, Jennifer Wayne and Jesse Whitman CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Bob Allen, Joe Avezzano, Fil Chapa, Andrew J. Hewett, Jayson Larson, Amy Sciaretto ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER Kelly G. Reed CONTACT US MAIN NUMBER 214-529-7370 FAX NUMBER 972-960-8618 kreed@blitzweekly.com BLITZ Weekly P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029
www.blitzweekly.com
Photo Courtesy: Taro Taylor, MDCarchives
Copyright 2010 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check our archives at www. blitzweekly.com.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK “Perfect order is the forerunner of perfect horror.” – Carlos Fuentes
John Travolta was onto something. Women are most attracted to male dancers who have big, flamboyant moves similar to the actor’s trademark style, British scientists say in a new study. Kris McCarty and colleagues at Northumbria University and the University of Gottingen in Germany asked 19 men aged 18 to 35 who were not professional dancers to dance in a laboratory for one minute to a basic drum rhythm. They filmed the men’s movements with a dozen cameras, and then turned those movements into computer-generated avatars so the study could focus on moves, not appearances. Scientists then showed the dancing avatars to 37 women, who rated their skills on a scale of 1 to 7. According to the women, the best dancers were those who had a wide range of dance moves and focused on the head, neck and torso. The research was published this week in the journal, Biology Letters, a publication of Britain’s Royal Society. It was paid for by Northumbria University. “In principle, it is possible to break down the motion patterns that are informative and attractive to women,” said Rufus Johnstone, a reader in the evolution of animal behavior at Cambridge University. He was not connected to the research. Johnstone said there were similarities between animal mating rituals and what happens in modern dance clubs. “There are
Andrew J. Hewett
www.chewednews.com
lots of cues females use when choosing a mate, like a peacock puffing out its tail,” he said. “Dancing for humans could signal whether a male is fit because it requires the expenditure of a lot of energy.” Nick Neave, an evolutionary psychologist at Northumbria University and one of the study’s co-authors, said women may subconsciously judge how fit a man is by the fluidity of his dancing. He said their research was likely subjective and different cultures would have different measures for what constitutes good dancing. Neave advised bad dancers to improve their core body moves. “The movements around the head, neck and trunk were the most important,” he said. “The good dancers had lots of different movements and used them with flair and creativity.” Johnstone said men who are bad dancers shouldn’t despair. “Among animals, courtship rituals are very important when there are very obvious physical displays,” he said. “In humans, I suspect it is much more complicated and may come down to more than whether or not a man is a good dancer.”
2 Charged in Australia After Python Wrestling Demo
Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald’s spotted them wrestling a 5foot python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said last Thursday. Victoria state police say the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop last Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald’s parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said. The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn’t release their names. “In all honesty, it’s just a case of dumb and dumber,” Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. “Anyone who gets out there with a one-anda-half meter python in a McDonald’s car park - they’re pretty dumb.” The snake was returned to a relieved Jodie Graham, owner of the Totally Reptiles pet shop. The lizard is still missing. “He was a bit cold and stressed so I have him in the tank warming up,” she said. “I am just glad to get him back.” Black-headed pythons are native to northern Australia. They are not venomous and aren’t likely to bite unless they’re hunting prey.
PERHAPS WE CAN PLAN OUR FINAL ACT, NONSUICIDAL, OF COURSE
Several news services reported September 7, 2010, ex-member of the 1970s band, Electric Light Orchestra, cellist Mike Edwards, 62, had been killed in an auto accident. He’d driven into a 1,300-pound bale of hay, which had just rolled down a hill into his roadway, just in time to kill him.
NOT EXACTLY AN ‘INHERIT THE WIND’ TYPE COURT CASE
Joplin Globe-AP, October 25, 1992, told of James “Scott” Hooper, a student at Oklahoma University, who’d filed a lawsuit against Pizza Shuttle in Stillwater, Okla. He’d sued for $7 because his pizza contained the wrong toppings, which he mistakenly ate part of. Hooper said he turned down an outof-court settlement of a $4-off coupon.
AIN’T THIS ROMANTIC
To “civilize” restaurants along Santé Fe Railroad’s stops in the mid-1800s, Fred Harvey hired 5,000 “Harvey Girls” to act as waitresses. But what he actually did was bring 5,000 future wives to love-hungry railroad workers.
4
HOLLYWOOD PROFILE with Robert Rodriguez
by: Vivian Fullerlove “Entertainment’s Real Critic”
Robert Rodriguez is the embodiment of the indie filmmaker’s American dream. You remember the story. He became the new “it” director at age 23 with his $7,000 feature film El Mariachi, and the rest, as they say, is movie history. He has earned millions with his edgy gritty blockbusters like From Dusk Till Dawn and Desperado and even more with his family friendly action adventure series Spy Kids, and with all his success, he still edits his own movies in the comfort of his in-home studio in Austin. We caught up with Texas’ golden boy to talk about his new film Machete starring Danny Trejo. Now, you may not know the name, but you will instantly recognize the face!
This film seems, for lack of a better word, very random. How did it come about? The way it started was I had written a draft (of Machete) way back around the time of Desperado when I had met Danny Trejo. So he knew about this project, and we would always talk about it for years and years, and he’d ask “So, when are we making Machete?” So when we made the trailer, I figured that would be our movie and basically the trailer would take care of that.
Obviously, it didn’t stop with the trailer though. Once the trailer came out, Danny would still call me all the time and say, “Well, now we gotta make the movie because everybody wants the movie.” So, my phone would not stop ringing for about two years until I just finally broke down and said okay, let’s give the fans what
they want and give Danny what he wants. And I knew I was going to have a good time making it.
So not only is Danny Trejo very intimidating in stature, he’s also very persistent. What about him in this role excited you and convinced you to choose him to carry the film? I could just see how people would react to his presence. And it was the same way that I reacted when I met him for Desperado. I was looking for someone to be that iconic, knife throwing assassin and Danny Trejo walks in and I just handed him the knife and said go start practicing. You’re the guy and we became good friends after that.
Not a bad supporting cast either. This movie has the most amazing cast out there. I mean people were wondering why this mix of characters. You have Robert De Niro in the same movie as Steven Seagal and Don Johnson and Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Michelle Rodriquez. It sounds bizarre, but when you watch the movie, everyone has their place and fits in very well and plays their character very well.
I like that Machete isn’t your stereotypical superhero. It has a different flavor. We play that to the hilt, and it’s refreshing and exciting in that way to have a Latin superhero. People like new things and it feels very new.
by: Fil Chapa
“One Film at a Time”
The American Based on the novel, A Very Private Gentleman by Martin Booth, it is a raw, sometimes painful tale of a master craftsman who seems most at peace when he is constructing high-powered sniper rifles. He is also pretty comfortable when entertaining foreign femme fatales. He does both with extreme patience and precision. George Clooney stars and co-produces this story of a skillful and ruthless veteran assassin. There are some very detailed scenes of Jack “manipulating” both weapons and women that would make any gunsmith or man with a pulse blush. Violante Placido plays a beautiful Italian escort unable to resist the charms of the dashing and debonair Jack. Dutch Director Anton Corbijn paints a picture of the lonely life of a traveling triggerman that seems to grow weary of his solitary existence. The film seems to get inspiration from such greats as The Bourne Identity, with the shooters’ boss being a mysterious, deceitful phony. It also lends itself to The Professional, a story of a lonesome hitman who keeps himself busy by tending to his beloved plants. The film opens in a remote cabin somewhere in Sweden where Jack and his current companion are enjoying a little rest and relaxation. Some intense moments ensue and he is soon sent on a new secret mission to Italy by his creepy, somewhat seasoned boss who must remind him to not
Dallas Polo Club
L E A R N T O P L AY P O L O NO RIDING EXPERIENCE NECESSARY WWW.DALLASPOLOCLUB.ORG
C ALL 214-979-0300 ext.1
EXAM, X-RAY & CLEANING
$50.00
1614 E. Beltline Rd. Carrollton, Texas 75006 972-466-0077 www.beltlinesmilecenter.com
get to close to anyone or it could undermine his effectiveness (get him killed). He meets the local townspeople who are both charming and strange. Jack settles in and is contacted by another assassin seeking a modified assault rifle. The other assassin, played by Thekla Reuten, just happens to be a tantalizing temptress herself. Jack soon meets the local priest who befriends and counsels him. He seems to have a knack for seeing the real person inside of the simple magazine photographer he claims to be. Jack seems to push himself further and further away from his day job and closer into the arms of the beautiful and seductive Clara, one of the finest escorts the local brothel has to offer. Their relationship blossoms, yet it is complicated not only by his occupation, but also the side effects that come with it. These side effects include paranoia, insomnia, low self-esteem, etc. It is a dark, slow-paced story that has the feel of a 1960’s era spy thriller. It is much too slow for audiences accustomed to splitsecond action shots, car chases and shootouts that leave room for small slices of dialogue. While the story itself is an intriguing one, the hour and forty-five minutes seem to drag on for a really long time. The American will not be a box office smash, however there are some aspects of the film that are intriguing.
5 by: Amy Sciaretto
“Roadrunner Records Guru”
3. Willing
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
4. Where The Spirit Leads Me
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
5. Until The End Of Days
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
6. Live In Love
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
Photo Courtesy: Wigstruck
7. In the Arms of Mercy
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
8. Hope Remains
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
9. The End of Eternity
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
10. Worlds Apart
Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam Dutkiewicz and former KsE vocalist Jesse Leach are re-teaming for Times of Grace, a brand new band that finds the duo taking a creative left turn, boldly exploring new musical terrain, while fearlessly digging deep into the recesses of their musical synergy. It has yielded a provocative, heavy-yet-melodic result, one that helped each of them overcome personal struggles and emerge from the darkness, more empowered than ever. The pair’s collaborative energy and chemistry obviously yields quality, longlasting results, as they worked together on KsE’s benchmark album, 2002’s Alive or Just Breathing. That record has become definitive for an entire generation of American metal, with Leach’s voice and uplifting lyrics serving as one of the key elements that propelled the album to “modern classic” status. Leach, who went on to sing for the more classic-rock leaning Seemless and who currently sings for the metal band The Empire Shall Fall, was always remembered fondly by KsE fans, even though he left the band shortly after Alive or Just Breathing’s release. While fans will no doubt be thrilled at the concept of the duo reuniting, Times of Grace, however, are not interested in fashioning Alive or Just Breathing, Part II. It’s an entirely new project and represents a different musical path for both Adam D. and Leach! It is an album of cleansing and catharsis for each of them, where internal demons were exorcised and set to music that’s as aggressive as it is melodic. The pair are currently in the studio working on their debut, The Hymn of A Broken Man, which is due out November 9 through Roadrunner Records. “In all my life. I have yet to write a record that bares my soul as much as this re-
cord does,” Leach said. “Adam and I had a real spiritual connection while making this and I know that it comes through in the performances and lyrics. This record has our blood, sweat and tears flowing through it. It is painfully honest at times. In short this record is our catharsis.” Adam D. also commented on what Times of Grace means for him personally, saying, “Making this record was something completely new for me. It documents some of the most difficult, yet spirited times of my life in the past three-and-a-half years. A lot of the music and lyrics just came out of me while going through several internal struggles, and writing these songs were the only comfort I could find. I reached out to Jesse to help sing and write these songs with me because of my respect for his musical abilities, and because of our great friendship...one that seems to not change no matter what happens in our lives.” “In the end, I am very proud of this record, and I feel it has helped me through some of my darkest days. I’m hoping that people will enjoy it, and also that it can maybe help others to keep the most positive mindset, even through the most trying of times.” The album begins with the percussive, almost militaristic “Strength in Numbers,” which pairs layered vocal melodies with thunderously roaring drumbeats; “Fight For Life” bites with ferocity, but is balanced out by Leach’s emotive vocals; while “Willing” boasts a more contemplative yet just as feral vibe. Times of Grace aren’t going back over ground that its members have already covered; they’re moving forward, incorporating stunning, eye-arresting visuals alongside their music, which features rich layers of instrumentation that invite the listener to sift through.
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
Dee and Charles Wyly Theatre - Dallas A King, his son and a knight to remember! You’ll see why this was the Bard’s most popular play during his lifetime. Raucous comedy and largescale battlefield action punctuate the moving drama of a prodigal son who must learn to become a man and a king. For more information, call (214) 880-0202.
Thur 9/16 Oktoberfest
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
Addison Circle Park This is the opening day for the weekend-long celebration promoting Spaten consumption in large quantities...rain or shine! Celebrate in the 30,000 square foot covered and air conditioned Schloss Addison tent with German food and live entertainment to boot!
Fri 9/17 Grapefest
Grapevine Historical District This weekend-long festival features regional and local wine tastings. Beware...the wine-a-ritas are much more powerful than you would think. If you aren’t into boozing it up, come for the shaken lemonade, kettle corn and live music.
Sat 9/18 The Dan Band
2. Fight For Life
Wed 9/15 Henry IV
House of Blues - Dallas You know these guys from Old School and The Hangover. Show starts at 9 p.m. For more information, call (214) 978-2583.
Sun 9/19 Hangman’s House of Horrors
Times of Grace - The Hymn of a Broken Man
2300 West Freeway - Ft Worth Celebrating its 22nd year as the top charity-benefiting haunted house in the world! Hangman’s is especially proud of its reputation as a family-oriented haunted funhouse with playful scares.
Mon 9/20 The Great Pumpkin Festival
Dallas Arboretum This year has an exciting new feature in the Storybook Pumpkin Village, the only pumpkin village in the USA, with four walk-through houses stacked with pumpkins. Each house will represent a book that features pumpkins in the story. The houses will be surrounded by thousands of pumpkins and decorative gourds as well as The Tom Thumb Pumpkin Patch where guests can pick out and purchase the family Jack O’ Lantern.
Tue 9/21 Revelation: The Art of James Magee
MUSIC: Times of Grace 1. Strength in Numbers
Nasher Sculpture Center - Dallas This exhibit will be the first major museum exhibition of the artist’s work in 18 years. Featuring 10-15 medium to large scale relief sculptures. If you know of a cool event or concert coming up, send some info our way at editor@blitzweekly.com
6
RANGERS:News
by: Craig Smith
by: Tony Barone – “The Senior Sports Authority”
“Sportsologist”
Photo Courtesy: Keith Allison
Rangers Sweep Yankees at Home! The first place Texas Rangers did something they haven’t done since 1996. They swept the New York Yankees at home which also happened to be the year they won their only playoff game in franchise history. They averaged nearly 46,000 fans for the Yankee series which is the second highest ever for a three-game series in 39 years in Arlington. They are well on their way to finally returning to the playoffs for the first time since 1999. It’s not a done deal yet but their magic number is now 12 after last Sunday when Cliff Lee pitched like we all knew he could. He was back on the mound after being out twelve days with a back injury. He pitched eight innings with only two hits and one run. I guess it’s safe to say he is back. The Rangers will definitely need him to have a chance to make some noise in the playoffs. Friday night may have been the most exciting Ranger game of the year. Nelson Cruz tied an MLB record by hitting his third extra innings walk off home run of the year when he went yard in the thirteenth inning for a 6-5 win. It’s his fifth walk off home run of his career. He also hit a home run in the eighth inning to tie it up. Talk about
Baylor vs. #4 TCU
Cruz made MLB history last Friday night.
clutch. I hope he does this in October. The best news of the week is that an MRI on Josh Hamilton (best player in baseball) showed only bruising on his ribs. All x-rays came back negative. He should return soon. Ron Washington said it’s up to Hamilton when he gets back on the field. This week they host Detroit for a quick two-game series before heading to Seattle for three games. They then face the Angels on the road for three more. I don’t know about you, but I have Rangers fever.
Sat. Sept. 18 - 3:30PM – Amon Carter Stadium - Versus A dominating 62-7 victory over Tennessee Tech, extended the Frogs’ home winning streak to 15 games. It was so lopsided, it led to a Gary Patterson postgame apology for running up the score. “I didn’t want to score the last touchdown. We don’t do style points. ...That’s not the program that we are, period. I did not want to score 60,” Patterson said. “I’m not unhappy. I’m just not going to come in here jumping up and down.” TCU was running out the clock and didn’t even throw a pass while scoring three times in the fourth quarter, including a 16-yard touchdown run by seldom-used fullback Ryan Hightower with four minutes left. Dalton completed 15 of 21 passes for 182 yards in his 31st career victory, two more than Sammy Baugh for the most at TCU and four more than Boise State’s Kellen Moore for most among active FCS quarterbacks. The fourthyear starter increased his career passing yardage number to 7,814. TCU played sloppy in the first half, including seven penalties for 70 yards including two personal fouls. An illegal block wiped out a 54-yard kickoff return by Jeremy Kerley after Tech’s only touchdown. Ed Wesley ran 11 times for 85 yards with a TD to start the fourth quarter.
by: Craig Smith – “Sportsologist”
Washington State vs. SMU
Sat. Sept. 18 – 2:30PM – Gerald Ford Stadium – CBS-C SMU ran like crazy as they got their first win of the season in their home opener against UAB. It’s not very often that a June Jones team finishes a game with more rushing yards than passing yards. Sophomore Zach Line led the way with 122 yards rushing and two touchdowns. The Mustang defense was solid as they held UAB to 261 yards total offense. It’s always good to get a conference win under your belt this early in the season. Their next opponent, Washington State, won on a field goal in the final minutes over Montana State 23-22. This game was a thriller last year but SMU threw four interceptions and came up short in overtime 30-27. Sad part is that was the Cougars only win last season. This is a game where I think Kyle Padron has a field day and Zach Line keeps on running. The Cougars lost their first game by 48 to Oklahoma State. Last year, they ranked dead last in all of FBS in total defense and second to last in total offense. SMU wins this one big!
by: Craig Smith – “Sportsologist”
UNT vs. Army
Sat. Sept. 18 – 11:00AM – Michie Stadium – CBS-C The Mean Green played their first home game of the season with the intentions of frying Rice. The crowd of 23,743 was the fifth largest in Fouts Field history. The score went back and forth the entire game and on the final drive of the game down by one, quarterback Nathan Tune was hit on third down. He had to be carted off after suffering a dislocated hip. They lost 32-31 despite another big game by Lance Dunbar who rushed for 105 yards and a touchdown. They have now outgained 9 of their last 14 opponents in total offense. They are 2-12 in those games. This week they travel to play Army who are coming off a tough loss to Hawaii. Cadet quarterback Max Jenkins fumbled on the 27 yard line with the score tied and 24 seconds left. It proved costly as Hawaii kicked the game winner with seven seconds left. Derek Thompson will be the quarterback this week for the Mean Green behind a banged up line. Army can be thrown on but this is Thompson’s first start so I expect a large load for Dunbar and a close game.
7
“Sportsologist”
Photos Courtesy: Dave Black, Robert J. La Verghetta, Luke Ford
ReggieReprimanded
by: Craig Smith
Reggie Bush made a lot of money while playing college football for USC. He accepted improper gifts and even got a lavish home for his family to live in while he played there. The NCAA has ruled him ineligible for the 2005 season because of his numerous infractions. The school was also punished for “lack of institutional control” which led to USC getting four years of probation, a two year bowl ban and a loss of football scholarships. Now, there is talk of him losing the 2005 Heisman Trophy he won. That would make him the first player in the 75 year history of the award to have it taken back. He clearly broke the rules off the field. There is no doubt in my mind that he knew at the time what he was doing was wrong, but either didn’t care or just thought he would never get caught. I don’t condone what he did, but I can say what he did on the field that season was simply amazing. He took money not enhancing drugs. It was all natural ability. This is like Pete Rose who gambled on games as a manager and not being in the Hall of Fame despite
Looks to
Lick
S u g ar by: Tony Barone
“The Senior Sports Authority”
ever seen play. Vince Young finished second in 2005 in the Heisman. He led Texas to the BCS National Championship that year beating USC in one of the best games of all time. He deserves the award but has said he is not interested in winning it that way. If Bush is stripped, they will reportedly declare 2005 as a non-winner year. All this comes as Bush begins his fifth season in the league. Taking away the Heisman is pointless. People will still remember the theatrics he provided in games. If he does lose it then Kim Kardashian will have been his best trophy ever.
Former three division champion “Sugar” Shane Mosley (46-6, 39 KO’s) will be looking to rebound from a recent lopsided 12 round decision to Floyd Mayweather Jr. when he faces former World Boxing Council (WBC) junior middleweight champion Sergio “The Latin Snake” Mora (22-1-1, 6 KO’s) on September 18th, at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. You have to wonder what the 38-year-old Mosley was thinking when he decided to fight Mora, a junior middleweight with a three inch height advantage over Mosley. By the time Mosley enters the ring with Mora, Shane will be 39 and well past his best years. In his loss to Mayweather, Mosley looked completely spent after the 2nd round and for the remainder of the fight, took shots and looked old and tired. Mosley has always done well against fighters that stood right in front of him or those that came right at him. But Mora isn’t one of
those types of fighters. He moves a lot, jabs, pot shots and makes his opponents look bad. Which is why it seems bizarre that of all the fighters that Mosley could have chosen for his comeback fight, he decided on fighting the bigger, younger, more elusive Mora? It’s a recipe for failure, and Mosley may finally decide to hang up the gloves and retire after this one is over. Mosley has no business fighting a top junior middleweight like Mora, even though he is no longer the real cream of the crop in the junior middleweight division. This writer predicts Mosley losing to Mora and getting dominated by him. There is no logic for Mosley picking a mover like Mora as an opponent following a one-sided loss like the one that Mosley suffered at the hands of Mayweather. This fight could end up looking a lot like Mosley’s loss to Mayweather. Mora is fast, deadly with his pot shots and has an excellent jab. And most of all, he’s really hard to hit.
College Football: (6) Texas vs Texas Tech Sat. September 18 – 7:00PM – Jones AT&T Stadium – ABC The Longhorns travel out west to take on the Red Raiders. This will be QB Garrett Gilbert’s first real test of the season. Look for the Horns to run the ball a lot behind Newton, Whittaker and Johnson. For Tech Head Coach Tommy Tuberville this is his first real taste of Big 12 football. QB Taylor Potts is a machine and will be commanding the Red Raider offense.
NFL: Bears vs Cowboys Sun. September 19 – NOON – Cowboys Stadium – FOX The “lucky” Bears come to Cowboys Stadium for the first time and possess a winning record. They lucked out with their win against the Lions. Rules are rules and this game will be different. The Mike Martz has installed a new offense and Jay Cutler had a nice game passing for 373 yards and a pair of TDs. The Cowboys offense has a lot of work to do. Hopefully, Ware will be back in action. Look for another close game.
Sergio
still, to this day, being the all-time hit leader in MLB. The immoral things they did off the field doesn’t diminish what they did on the field. The guy could do it all, leading the nation in all-purpose yards per game with 222.3 and was fourth in yards per game at 133.8. In a game against Fresno State that year, he was a force setting a Pac-10 record for total yards from scrimmage with an astounding 294 yards rushing, 151 return yards, and 68 yards receiving for a total of 513. I remember watching him play for USC and thinking that he may be the best college running back I have
NFL: Giants vs Colts Sun. September 19 – 7:20PM – Lucas Oil Stadium – NBC Welcome to all things Manning! Brothers Eli and Peyton square off to close out the weekend. Giants looked like a well oiled machine against the Panthers. Eli had three TDs and Bradshaw performed well. Peyton on the other hand also had thee TDs and passed for over 400 yards but lost to the Texans. Look for the Colts to rebound in this one at home.
MLB: Braves vs Phillies Tue. September 21 – 6:05PM – Citizens Bank Park – MLB The playoff race in the NL East is extremely tight. Currently, only one game separates these two teams. This is the last season for skipper Bobby Cox and the team wants to give him one last taste of the postseason. The Braves have some hot young bats in the line up. The Phillies are trying to make their mark in baseball history with a third consecutive World Series appearance. They have a great pitching staff and experienced bats.
8
by: Joe Avezzano “The Coach”
There is an old football saying that says “More games are lost than are won.” This is a true statement that talks to the fact that this is not a game of perfection, but a game of mistakes and the team making the least usually wins. You don’t have to make a lot of great plays as long as you don’t make a lot of bad plays. Yardage, percentages, first downs are important but not as important as points and points usually come off of mistakes by your opponent. The Cowboys outgained Washington, had more first downs, controlled the ball longer but lost. How can that be? When you have 12 penalties to Washington’s five, including some real game deciders and you have an incredible turnover that results in a score for them and they have none, that should pretty well do it. But let’s throw in a missed field goal that would have tied the game early on, poor kickoff coverage, an offside penalty on their field goal attempt and you are pretty much sealing your fate. An unusual game that was decided by the last plays of the half and the game had all these other contributors to the defeat. I’d like to repeat all the great plays Washington made to beat the Cowboys but there are none. Get the point! What happens now? Well the players handle moving on better than coaches and fans. They’ll get back to work and get ready for Chicago. How important is this game? One of the problems with the NFL is that there are only 16 games and each one takes on an importance in itself. As an early season match up, history shows that only two teams have started 0-2 and won the Super Bowl. That’s your Cowboys of the 90’s and the Patriots of the 00’s. With that in mind, this team better be 1-1 next Monday. When you get behind the eight ball record wise it takes so much energy to catch up that you have no leeway and can’t sustain the surge. Chicago comes to town off an opening win against Detroit. Their new high powered offense is led by Jay Cutler who threw for over 300 yards in the opener. Forte is a quality running back that can be very good. A revamped defense is led by Julius Peppers who put Detroit’s QB out of the game with a sack. Devin Hester is a good receiver and a great return man. He’s one of the best ever and presents a unique challenge. But then this game will not be about Chicago as much as it will be about the Cowboys and how they respond, how they improve and how they reduce penalties and mistakes. 1-1 and you’re back on track. 0-2 and the sky starts falling. Join Coach Joe at Hat Tricks in Lewisville for all the great sports and fabulous music. Check hattricksdallas.com for info. You can also hear Coach Joe on Tuesday nights on 95.3 for his Country Music show and on 105.3 The Fan for Dallas Cowboys pre and post game shows. by: Jayson Larson “Man On the Inside”
The Dallas Cowboys welcome the Chicago Bears to Cowboys Stadium for their 2010 home opener. After the Cowboys heartbreaking loss to the Redskins on the final play of the game due in no small part to Alex Barron’s holding/choke-hold, Dallas could really use a victory. The Bears are coming off a sloppy victory over the lowly Detroit Lions that was highlighted by Calvin Johnson’s overturned TD. Much like the Cowboys offense, the Bears were a mistake prone unit in week one as they committed four turnovers and had nine penalties. While Bears QB Jay Cutler was under constant pressure, he did manage to pass for 372 yards with two touchdowns and an interception. However, RB Matt Forte was their real offensive star. He had the game-winning touchdown and 201 total yards from scrimmage. Forte’s 89-yard touchdown on a screen pass before halftime was a momentum changing play. The Cowboys defense will need to contain the third year RB from Tulane. Much like the Cowboys defense, the Bears unit has a lot to be happy about. They held the Lions QBs to a 59.8 passer rating and hit them five times. They also allowed the Lions one yard per carry. Defensive end Julius Peppers had a big take-down in his Bears debut that knocked Lions QB Matthew Stafford out of the game. Linebacker Lance Briggs had a strip sack at the goaline. Perhaps more importantly, linebacker Brian Urlacher is back with a vengeance as he had seven tackles, a sack and a quarterback hit. If the offensive line doesn’t step it up, Jon Kitna better be ready to go.
Drive-Thru
9 by: Frank LaCosta
Beer Barns in Dallas
“Nothing Better To Do”
We live in a fast-paced society where we want instant gratification. Always multitasking and in a hurry with a need to maximize our time. I requested the services of one of our astute photographers and spent a Saturday afternoon scouting out Dallas’ drive-thru beer barns. Many of these establishments started out in a different life before becoming what they are today. This list is by no means comprehensive but it’s a good start. When time equals money or you don’t want to miss the kickoff of the big game, there is no faster way to get your brew than a drive-thru beer barn.
We started out at Dante’s Drive-Thru. They are located off of Walnut Hill and Composite in what once was a car wash. Apparently Bud Light is the biggest mover with Corona running a close second. It has one bay to take care of your needs. Craziest Thing to Happen Here: Guys like to flash the girls their Johnson! We moved on to ASPS. Located at the corner of Webb Chapel and Lombardy Lane. ASPS was the first beer barn in the area. They have a bevy of young girls to greet customers with three bays in full effect. Management here didn’t want to share much information.
Photos Courtesy: Matt Pearce
Craziest Thing to Happen Here: Manager chasing photographer and me off the property. So we rolled next door to Seven Express. Imagine that, two beer barns in competition. They too had their scantily clad employees flagging down customers. Seven Express only has two bays but they were pretty busy when we were there. This venue was formerly an oil lube spot. Craziest Thing to Happen Here: A driver while waiting for his twelve pack vomited across his dash board. Disgusting!
While technically not a beer barn, Daiquiri’s To Go is a pretty cool spot off of Market Center Blvd. They greeted us with open arms and told me they’ve been serving Dallas for over five years. They have one bay to hook you up with a wine-based beverage. Libation of choice: Sex in Dallas Craziest Thing to Happen Here: MADD tried to shut them down, but TABC said they were legit! Take that, MADD! Then we discovered the greatness that is Beer To Go and their neighbor Liquor To Go. Near Fitzhugh and Columbia, they opened shop about nine years ago and haven’t looked back. This once was a laundromat and Bud Light is the best mover. If you go next door to Liquor To Go you’ll get the hard stuff without getting out of your ride. Awesome! Both locations have two bays. Craziest Thing to Happen Here: A guy wearing only a t-shirt made his presence known. Keep the tip! Last but not least was another Seven Express. Clearly management knows that two locations are better than one. It used to be an oil lube place as well with two bays. They’ve been around for six years. Again Bud Light reigns supreme with Corona and Negra Modelo in the hunt. The big perk here is that they offer free ice with your purchase. Craziest Thing to Happen Here: Customers requesting the girls to go home with them.
10
MARGARITAS & MEXICAN FOOD Buy 1 Get 1 Free Buy One Entrée & Get Second Entrée of equal or lesser value Free with purchase of 2 Drinks
VEGAN CHEESE AVAILABLE
*Dine in only. Not Valid on Daily Lunch Specials. Not valid with any other offers.
Solʼs Nieto Mexican Grill is a fun friendly place with a jukebox atmosphere, neighborhood feel, amazing food and great margaritas.
6434 E.MOCKINGBIRD DALLAS, TX 75214 214-826-5564
Angelina’s Mexican Restaurant 1396 W Main Street • Lewisville - 75067 (972) 221-6790 • www.angelinastexas.com
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: Angelina’s has been in business since 1986. Their friendly service, authentic recipes and reasonable prices have made their restaurant a second home for many. Their family oriented atmosphere makes it enjoyable for children and their Margarita Monday’s are popular with adults. Their “Amazing Homemade Salsa” is superb. We like the Louis Shrimp and Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas. Known For: Great daily lunch specials, live entertainment Fridays, homemade salsa, Bistec Ranchero, Fried Ice Cream On the Side: Margarita Monday’s, Café Angelina (adult beverage), Fiesta Supreme, Tortilla Soup, Eddie’s Mexican Lasagna
Aparicio’s Tortilla Factory & Café 1001 18th St • Plano – 75074 • (972) 423-6980
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: Aparicio’s has been around for over 20 years. The building they’re in now, complete with koi pond, waterfalls and patio, sits right next to the stucco shack from which they originated. The tortillas are freshly prepared on site and they have flat screens scattered throughout the bar so you catch some local sports or futbol games. What more do you need? Known For: Combo Breakfast Burrito, Puerco di Guiso, Chicken Enchiladas, Beef or Pork Tamales, Stuffed Jalapenos, Chongitos On the Side: Full-service bar, Karaoke
El Guapo’s
419 S. Elm Street • Denton – 76201 •
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: Denton selections for Tex-Mex but El G go to. With it’s affordable price is a college student’s dream. W and the Big Bad Burrito with experience that you have to tr Known For: Choose Your Own Amigos Fajitas, Ultimo, Santa Empanadas On the Side: The “Ramp”, Texas S Wings, Swirles Margarita, hom
Centro Tex-Mex
6800 Windhaven Parkway • The Colony – 75056 (972) 306-8543 • www.centroaustinranch.com
Why It’s Blitz Worthy:The newest addition to Austin Ranch is an upscale Tex-Mex establishment that specializes in serving Tapas and good times. We recommend the Centro Filet. Are also like their tacos. With four offerings to choose from you can’t go wrong. They have a fully stocked bar with tequilas for all types of palates and Mexican beers to match. Known For: Ceviche Royal, Fajita Tacos, Centro Burrito, Pechuga Limon, Carne Asada On the Side: Salsa Friday Nights with DJ Rafa, Happy Hour All Day on Saturday and Sunday, Half Price Appetizers on Mondays, massive patio
Desperados
4818 Greenville Avenue – 75206 (214) 363-1850 • www.desperadosrestaurant.com
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: “If you know Dallas, you know Desperados.” This is a true statement to many locals when it comes to this restaurant. Desperados has been serving its family recipes since 1976 and its very loyal entourage will passionately tell you that Desperados is one of Dallas’ best. We recommend you have the Desperado Tacos. Known For: Desperado Tacos, Steak Yucateco, Pollo Ahumado, Crabmeat Enchiladas, Pasta Adobado On the Side: Deep Fried Latte, $2 Margaritas all day on Wednesdays, Corporate Catering, Weekend Brunch, El Grande Sangria
Joe T. Garcias
2201 N. Commerce Street • Ft. Worth
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: No list wo restaurant. This legendary est in 1935 and they’re still using m Their margaritas and awesom out and the rustic feel just add is so good you can buy it on p Known For: Beef Fajitas, Chile Cash Only, Jarritos On the Side: Margarita Rocks, Picante
11
Luna de Noche’s Tex-Mex Gourmet
Five Metroplex Locations • www.lunadenochetexmex.com
• www.elguapos.com
doesn’t have the widest of Guapo’s is the best they place to es and raucous atmosphere this We dig the Spinach Quesadillas taco beef. The “Ramp” is an ry at least once! n Adventure “Platter”, Three ana’s Supernatural Quesadilla,
Style Cheesecake, ZZ’s Sloppy me delivery
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: Two words: Breakfast Buffet! A massive spread is available at the Plano and Garland locations every Sunday from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. Here’s what you get for just $8.95: Omelets and eggs made to order, fresh fruits, muffins, country potatoes, Luna Layers, Chilaquiless (house specialty), ham, bacon, chorizo, Mexican rice and more! Known For: Luna Supreme, Stuffed Avocado, Pollo Pipian, Sour Cream Enchiladas, Camarones De La Casa On the Side: Tailored catering menus, $6.95 daily lunch specials, Saturday and Sunday Brunch at all locations, Gourmet Menu at Victory Park location
Mattito’s Cafe Mexicano 3011 Routh St • Dallas – 75201 (214) 526-8181 • www.mattitos.com
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: First of all, we love the party atmosphere with all of the bright colors and flashy lights—nothing says Mexico like a party! But we also like how they cater to those of us who have picky eaters amongst our friends and family. They definitely put the Texas in Tex-Mex with options like Chicken Fried Steak (try it Cowboy style with chile con carne and cheddar cheese) and “The Works” jumbo hamburger. Known For: Quesadillas de Carumba, Filet Mignon with Chipotle Sauce, Baja Shrimp Alambres, Brisket Tacos, Pollo con Mole, Chocolate Carmel Nachos On the Side: Banquet space for 20 to over 200 guests, fullservice catering, large party delivery, Happy Hour specials Monday through Friday 3-6 p.m.
Monica’s Aca Y Alla Restaurant 2914 Main St • Dallas – 75226 (214) 748-7140 • www.monicas.com
h – 76164 • www.joets.com
would be complete without this tablishment was founded back many of the same recipes. me patio make for great nights ds to the ambiance. Their salsa premise and take it home. e Rellenos, Original Nachos, Patio, Menudo, Migas, Salsa
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: We like that Monica understands the plight of the working class. Every day they serve up $5 lunch specials. Our Blitz Pick for mid-day Mex is the Frankie’s Tex Combo: one sour cream chicken enchilada and one beef enchilada with chile con carne. Plus, they even do drink specials for the lunch crowd. Known For: Pumpkin Ravioli, Torta Cubana, Mexican Lasagna, Carne Adobo, Shrimp Risotto, Greene Pasta, Fish Tacos On the Side: Free valet, lunch punch card, live music, Sunday brunch, half-price food on Tuesday nights, .75 cent margaritas on Wednesdays
Sol’s Nieto Mexican Grill
6434 E. Mockingbird Lane • Dallas – 75214 • (214) 821-7911
Why It’s Blitz Worthy: This Lakewood establishment possesses many of the qualities that we are looking for such as a patio (only one we know of in Lakewood), a rocking juke box, original art work and great lunch specials. We love their Mexican Beer Night on Tuesdays and it’s a cool spot for brunch on the weekend. Known For: Sol’s Fajitas for Four, Daiya Vegan Cheese Enchiladas, Salsa, Camarones Al Mojo de Ajo, Gordo’s Platter On the Side: Churros, Sol’s Pechuga, Pet Friendly Patio, Great for Large Parties, Happy Hour specials Monday through Friday 4-7p.m.
13 by: Jesse Whitman
“A Woman’s Perspective”
I was in the basement of the Dublin Castle, naked and freezing, lying in a wooden box. How did I end up here? Well, the job search didn’t go as planned so I took a job as a model for a photographer. It was far from my dream job but it paid 35 pounds an hour which fed me for several weeks and gave me more time to find steady work where I could be fully-clothed. I was walking over the bridge on my way to my favorite cafe. Two beautiful Swedes sparkling like Christmas ornaments with their shiny blonde hair and dewy skin always greeted me so sweetly. They were like two heavenly angels taking me in from the cold and feeding me delicious homemade soup and the best apple custard croissants ever made. Their special ingredient was most certainly love. I distinctly remember eating those croissants and thinking that the most important thing about the place you live is having an excellent bakery within walking distance. I would have stayed in Dublin forever if I had
found a decent job—a problem that would haunt me for many years to come. And then I was off to the Internet cafe for three reasons: a hot cup of coffee, my crush and to check my email. The coffee was good, my sister announced her coming to visit, and Adam, the American from Virginia, was making non-descript eye contact. Against my better judgment, which had been greatly compromised due to the harsh weather conditions of mid-winter, I followed him home. Even when he turned around and asked me if I was following him, I continued on like a lost puppy shivering in the cold. Not only did I follow him all the way to his apartment, I stayed for several months, not because he was the great guy who loved me. Quite the contrary. He was an alcoholic who did his laundry by showering with his clothes on and ignored me most of the time. The only reason I stuck around was because of the amazing heater in his place. It was like the tropics, not the sub-stan-
Do’s and Don’ts of
dard sixty degrees at the hostel I was staying in. So when we were walking home and Adam was stumbling on the curb and sticking cigarette butts in his ears, I still followed him home because of that blazing hot furnace at his place. It had gone like this for several weeks: getting drunk at night, sleeping in till 3 p.m. and then an overcast daylight for about an hour. I was beginning to feel like a vampire that needed to get on Prozac, so one morning I got up early and got on the train headed for Bray, a little seaside town about a half hour from the city. I walked up the cliff overlooking the Irish Sea and took big breaths of the fresh ocean air. Once again everything made sense and I remembered exactly why I had traveled here. by: Geoff Case
Tailgating Nothing is more American than bonding with friends, family and your fellow football-loving man at a tailgate party. The perfect combination of sports, food and fun; these parties have been going on in stadium parking lots for decades. There is a science to the tailgate, however, and here are some of the homeruns and pitfalls that can distinguish between an epic party and complete disaster. Do: Share Share your food with other sports fans. Food has been used as an olive branch for many different occasions throughout history. Thanksgiving, for example, is a holiday that is centered on gathering and consuming vast amounts of food. Celebrate another glorious sporting event by offering a steak or some chili to your fellow sports fan. Don’t hate on the
“Tailgating Guru”
opposing fans because they might bring a whole crop of attractive coeds. Always bring kegs; they are the MVP in creating a happening tailgate scene but make sure they are legal at the venue. Don’t: Force feed Don’t throw anybody down to the concrete and force feed them your wife’s casserole. Not everybody likes your wife’s casserole. The truth isn’t always pretty... much like her casserole! I’m sure you think it’s terrific, but I try to stay away from anything that looks better going out than in. Some people want to just drink beer and not be harassed by some Nazi hot dog peddler. Besides, once the word gets around how badass your brats are, they will be begging for your meat. Do: Get hot The experts say the biggest mistake
that “amateurs” make when grilling at a tailgate is not being patient enough. It’s imperative that you wait for the charcoal to get gray and ready for grilling. Don’t rush the cooking otherwise your meat and reputation will be ruined.
Don’t: Spray lighter fluid through the grill grate It’s never a good idea to put food on a grill that has lighter fluid all over the cooking surface. Always remove the grate, then spray a
small amount of lighter fluid on the charcoal, light the charcoal, and put the grate back on. Nobody likes a burger that tastes like it was marinating in NASA rocket fuel. Do: Conserve space Get bottled water and freeze it. Place it in your cooler. If it gets hot, you can take it out and as it melts, you will have cold water to drink. Unlike, ice, it won’t “water down” your cooler. The bottles make good ice packs. Do: Show your team loyalty Make sure your team logo is on everything you can possibly think of. Check out the custom team grills from tailgatingideas.com. Send them your favorite team’s colors and logo and they send you back a sweet custom grill proudly displaying your grilling allegiance for a reasonable price.
14
by: Jennifer Wayne
“Foxie Foodie”
A Great Place for a Lunch Date
Jen’s Place 4455 Alpha Road • Dallas – 75244 (972) 991-3663 • jensplacebakerycafe.com
I had heard the folks around the office mention “Jen’s Place” several times, but I never took them up on the invite to join them for lunch there because when it comes to lunch, I tend to be a creature of habit, i.e. coffee and whatever I can scrounge up to bring from home. But then someone brought me back a mammoth chocolate chip cookie to do the convincing and it wasn’t long before I was hooked to the anything-on-the-menu at Jen’s. Breakfast: The muffins—massive. The cinnamon rolls – sinful. Of course, if you are on a diet, you should opt for the fresh fruit salad or perhaps Old Fashioned Oatmeal, but that wouldn’t be as much fun. They also have Ham & Cheddar or Spinach, Feta & Tomato Quiches and Ham and Cheese Stuffed Croissants. If you don’t have time to stop by for breakfast, stock up for the next day when you go by for lunch. At 11 a.m., all the morning’s left over pastries are buy one get one free. Soups: The selection varies day to day, but one thing they always have is Jen’s Famous Chili. It’s awesome with fresh grated cheddar and Fritos on top! You can even get it ladled over a spud (which by the way could feed two, if not three). Sandwiches: I like to get the Chicken Salad if I am going the sandwich route. It’s mixed with Jen’s homemade ranch dressing. If you are too manly to order a girlysounding sandwich, try the Greek Chicken Sandwich. It’s a hot chicken breast, feta cheese, creamy cucumber sauce, lettuce, tomato and onion piled on your choice of homemade bread. Salads: If I want something on the lighter side, I go with a salad trio plate and choose the Tomato Cucumber Salad, the Asian Cabbage Salad and the Pasta Salad (gotta have the carbs). Since they do cafeteria-style serving, you get to see the salad before you pick it. I dig that. Of course, it also prolongs decision-making sometimes, too. Specials: Every day there is a different special. You can check their website for the calendar. I am a fan of the BBQ Brisket Plate served with corn, baked beans and your choice of salad. My fiancé loves the Sour Cream Chicken Enchilada plate. He says it keeps him full til dinner which is a bold claim coming from him. Dessert: It would take a good chunk of this page to list all of the cakes that they offer daily. I haven’t made my way through all of them, but I can tell you that the Cookies and Cream Cake is outstanding and so is the Strawberry. Other regulars have recommended the Chippy Cheese Bar, but it is rare that I have room after my entrée. If its pie you’re after, they have Apple, Buttermilk, Coconut Cream, Pecan and Pumpkin…just to name a few. If you need to fight the afternoon blah at your desk, take a cookie to go. They have Chocolate Chip, Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter and Sugar.
15
Need to bring your team’s fight song with you when you tailgate or simply want to have some music to listen to on your next camping trip? The Eton Soulra is here for you. This iPod- and iPhone-compatible speaker system offers a high efficiency solar panel on top for charging up the docked iDevice or for refreshing the rechargeable lithium-ion battery, while its splash-proof, rugged rubberized aluminum body ensures it can withstand abuse. Full range speakers, an auxiliary input, and, yes, bass boost round out the features of this portable, self-powering 21st century ghetto blaster. Price - $200 From iPhones to Swiss Army Knives, more and more of the things in our life need to be as good at multitasking as we are and the LightCap is no exception. This one-liter water bottle doubles as a renewable LED lantern via integrated FastSolar technology, and can also function as a waterproof container when it’s not holding liquids, which makes sense, since it can hold, you know, water. Price - $30
The first wave of tablets following in the iPad’s footsteps are (almost) here. Powered by the Android 2.2 (Froyo) OS, the Samsung Galaxy Tab sports a 7-inch TFT-LCD display (1024 x 600), front (1.3 MP) and rear (3 MP) cameras, full HD video playback (DivX, XviD, MPEG4, H.263, H.264), and comes in 16GB and 32GB models. It’s also got built-in 3G HSPA connectivity, 802.11n Wi-Fi and Bluetooth 3.0. It will be launching in Europe later this month and in the U.S. in the “coming months.” Price - TBA
Getting to Know Rum
W
ell, I am back to titillate your palate and dispense a cornucopia of useless yet intriguing information which you may use to dazzle your comrades. In other words, you will be able to baffle them with your bullsh!t and actually be right. This time in celebration of “National Talk Like a Pirate Day” we will be discussing, as Nick Passmore put it, “the bad boy of booze,” Rum. From the Triangle Trade, Slaves to Molasses to Rum, and the Pirates of the Caribbean to the Rum Runners of Prohibition, rum conjures up more adventure and romanticism than any of our tamer libations. Rum is made from sugarcane by-products either molasses or sugarcane juice. It was first made in ancient Egypt but went unnoticed until the discovery of the New World and its vast sugarcane fields on the islands of the Caribbean. The first “rum” is believed to have been distilled in Barbados around 1651 when the term “Rumbullion” was used for an alcoholic drink distilled from molasses and enjoyed in island “tipping houses,” the early versions of a bar. Rum is now made throughout the Caribbean, Mexico, Central and South America, Australia, the Philippines, Fiji, and India. We will, for the purpose of space, stick with rum from “The New World.” Rum distilleries were established throughout the 15th century with the first in North America being in present day Staten
Island in 1664 with the second only three years later in Boston. Rum soon became New England’s largest and most profitable industry. Rum consumption before the Revolutionary War was measured at 13.5 litres per year for every man, woman and child, in the British Colonies. Due to several factors, including the Sugar Act of 1664, post-war restrictions on sugar products from the British islands in the Caribbean and the development of the American Whiskey industry, there became a decline in rum popularity. It took Prohibition to begin the resurgence of rum in America. World War II caused a shortage in Scotch, Cognac and even Bourbon. So what was available to sooth our need for alcohol, the bad boy of booze. Pre-Castro Cuba with its blue water beaches, available gambling, exotic fruit and rum drinks all less than 100 miles from Florida hit home with the parents of the baby boomer generation and rum returned with a vengeance. The one thing that differentiates rum from other distilled spirits is that there is no authority over its production, contents or labeling. Each country has its own alcohol by volume restrictions, aging requirements (if any), and even nomenclature for the type or style of rum. Terms such as white, gold, light, overproof and matured are just a few that are used to describe the individual product. The following list breaks the “styles” of rum by the language of various countries
by: Bob Allen
“Spirits & Such”
and their culture: •
•
•
Spanish speaking areas usually produces a lighter rum (Puerto Rico and U.S. Virgin Islands are examples) with a clean taste. English speaking countries such as Barbados and Belize produce a darker, bolder rum that maintains more of the original molasses flavor. The French speaking islands, i.e. Haiti and Martinique, produce a rum using only the juice from the cane which allows the rum to maintain more of the original sugarcane flavor and usually more expensive.
Aged Rum is now striving to take its place next to 90% Blue Agave Tequila and Twenty-Five Year Old Sherry Aged Scotch as a before and after dinner, Snifter served, aperitif. Again, remember that truth in labeling does not exist in these countries and older does not always mean better. I suggest you sample some of the finer rums at your local Pub to find one that compliments that hand-rolled imported cigar from the same area and enjoy. Bob Allen is a 30 year veteran of the Bar Industry, spending 22 years at the West End Pub. Find more information on him and his Pub at westendpubdallas.net
JOKES
17
HORRORSCOPES Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) A co-worker will smile at you. It may mean something or they may just be trying to be friendly. You never can be too sure with smiles, so beware... it could be a bad sign.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) You will continue on in your meaningless existence. Look at a Libra for like 10 minutes non-stop and you’ll get an unpleasant response. Beware the ides of September.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
FUNNIES
You discover that no one really likes you A LOT and it’s only just so-so. You become depressed and go on an all night cooking rampage. Your so-called “friends” will be disappointed with your glazed ham.
Q: Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: To remind themselves that toes go in first.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn. Q: How can you tell if you’re at a bulimic bachelor party? A: The cake jumps out of the girl. Worst Day Ever There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making guy steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.” “Today is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. I get a cab to return home, and when I get out of the cab, I forgot my wallet, cash and credit cards in the there. The cab driver just drives away.” “When I get home, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
You discover that tapioca has worked its way into all of your best clothes. You later discover that it’s not tapioca but large bacteria colonies. You figure you can put off washing your clothes for another week. ACROSS: 1. Crown 6. Back of the neck 10. Group of actors 14. German iris 15. 1 1 1 1 16. Double-reed woodwind 17. Impose 18. Shopping place 19. Person, place or thing 20. Devaluate 22. Detritus 23. A hand 24. Gives expression to 26. Ethics 30. Dromedary 32. Excretory opening 33. Flair 35. A North American retail chain 39. Conjecture 41. Picnic insect 42. Blacksmith’s block 43. Publish 44. A facial disguise 46. Make reference to 47. Steel or tin 49. Essential
51. Treeless plain 54. Flipper 55. Slant 56. Umpire 63. Decorative case 64. Dock 65. Winged 66. Countertenor 67. Lyric poems 68. Street urchin 69. Avid 70. Exam 71. Construct DOWN: 1. Bean curd 2. Weightlifter’s pump this 3. Dry 4. Ascend 5. Stellar 6. Wanderer 7. Freudian stage 8. South American country 9. High regard 10. An expression of sympathy 11. Approximately 12. A drunk
13. Canvas dwellings 21. A type of clamp 25. Tableland 26. Wise men 27. Burden 28. Regrets 29. Supposition 30. Artificial waterway 31. Picnic insects 34. Tibetan monk 36. Keen 37. Ritual 38. Sleigh 40. Leak slowly 45. Make a sweater 48. It contains a British beverage 50. Infuriate 51. T-Bone or sirloin 52. What a book is called 53. Rinse, as with a solvent 54. Unprecedented 57. Carnival attraction 58. Honey insects 59. Winged 60. Not wild 61. Auditory 62. Apartment payment
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Your strange attraction to Pokémon will fail to score you a mate. Again. Maybe Pikachu isn’t your type? Go for the fire lizard Charmander.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Even thought your guidance counselor said that you could, you can’t reach the stars. Give up now, because you’ll never amount to much.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20) You’re disappointed to learn not only is it not “eyescream” but the fact that there are no eyes in it what so ever. So much for that new diet.
Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19) After logging more than 20,000,000 hours in FPS games, psychologists determine that you are “Waaaaaaayyyyy past due” for a killing spree at your school and/or workplace.
Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20) You are left with a lump in your stomach after a steak dinner. Three days later you will suddenly realize why you shouldn’t eat the bone part of a TBone steak. See a doctor.
Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 21) You will grow a third eye. Unfortunately, it’s totally blind, and no one, including yourself can see it. Because of this, you claim that you are the “Ultimate Third Eye Blind Fan.”
Cancer (Jun. 22 – Jul. 22) You FINALLY realize that your life-time goal of destroying the world is self-defeating.
Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22) Search as you might, you cannot locate the smell on your house. You realize that you haven’t showered in well over 3 months. It suddenly dawns on you why you’ve “lost your touch” with the ladies.
18 by: Pat Moran “Man on His Throne”
Joke Dies Slow Painful Death Every joke has a shelf life. Every joke has an expiration date. What first starts out as a gut-busting national pastime will never fail to die a slow and painful (and decidedly unhilarious) death. Such is the case with “That’s what she said.” It’s time to hang it up, folks. Let’s put it to bed (Don’t you dare say it). Let’s do it now. (I’m warning you). Put it away (Okay fine say it...Yeah, okay now that that’s out of the way, lets move on). It’s not funny anymore. It WAS funny, but now it’s just another “where’s the beef?”, “Yo Mama” and all of those Redneck jokes... Yeah, I get it. I understand the need to point out the possible BJ reference. I understand how funny it is that 33 + 36 is 69. I get it. But the “That’s what she said,” which was pilfered from the always moderately entertaining “The Office.” And now it’s traipsed its way into every douche bags repertoire, sounding the death knoll for the joke. Look, it’s still sort of funny, I’ll give you that. But the more you wait to use the “That’s what she said” at every waking chance, the more of a complete moron you will look like in the next couple months when it becomes gratingly horrible to hear those words. Trust me, the longer you use it the harder it will get. Oh... wait... That’s what she... NOPE. Get a life. And that is exactly “what she said.”
Crossword Solution
Double Your Pleasure
While You Pump ! Monday Nights We’re Giving Away a hot pAir of
$25
Fuel Cards!
Register during half-time of each game. Winner will be drawn at the start of the third quarter, 9/13-12/27.
ICE COLD Big Daddys - 25oz.
$3.25
Domestic &
$4.25
premium
Monday Nights During the Game
NEW
@ Hooters Texas
@ HootersTexas
$2.75
Domestic Longnecks
Saturday & Sunday, 11am-6pm
14 DFW Area Locations www.HootersTexas.com