Blitz January 2015 by Blitz Weekly

JANUARY 2015

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2015

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JAN UARY

Blitz

INTELLIGENCE

5 There Can Be Only One We look into the College Football Title Game 6 Deconstructing Dez Will Dez Bryant’s attitude unglue the red hot Cowboys? 7 U nion or Die A look into the “insurance-free” world of ultimate fighting 8 Annual MANual Your guide to growing up Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Craig Patterson Features Director Amber LaFrance Pop Culture Editor Ethan Harmon Sports Editor Lance Rinker Copy Chief Mark Miller Creative Director Jette Stephens Cover Design Jette Stephens

Photo Editor CONTACT US Darryl Briggs PHONE: 214-529-7370 • FAX: 972-960-8618 Staff Photographers EMAIL: info@blitzweekly.com John Breen, Dominic Ceraldi, BLITZ Weekly Jarrod Fresquez, Michael Kolch, P.O. Box 295293, Lewisville, TX 75029 • www.blitzweekly.com Rick Leal, Sandy McAnally Staff Writers Copyright 2015 YK Publishing, LLC. No portion of BLITZ Weekly may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the Peter Gerstenzang, Keysha Hogan, express written permission of the Publisher. BLITZ Weekly is available free of charge, Martin Iheke, Frank LaCosta, limited to one copy per reader. BLITZ Weekly may be distributed only by BLITZ Weekly’s authorized independent contractors or BLITZ Weekly’s authorized distributors. No person Lance LeVan may, without prior written permission of BLITZ Weekly, take more than one copy of each BLITZ Weekly issue. Articles printed in this publication may express opinions or views Contributing not necessarily the opinions of BLITZ Weekly. The BLITZ Weekly is not responsible for Photographers/Artists the content or claims of advertisements or editorial in this publication. Story reprints are available for $1 plus postage; call the office at 214-529-7370 to place an order or check Dave Engledow, Brian Miller, our archives at www.blitzweekly.com. Jonathan Stafford, Tommy Ton Contributing Writers Steven Doyle, Sarah Badran, Jay Betsill, Mike Gravagno, Erika Hayes, Andrew J. Hewett, Alan Sculley, Wendy Wyatt

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14 Singing it Again Sudie Dallas’ songbird prepares for the Big Time 18 Hell Yes Hellyeah talks about music, life, and their future

Jarrod Fresquez Model: Melisa May

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the No. 1 team this year in Alabama. Plus, Oregon ranked No. 2 in the nation in net yards gained per play (7.35) while Ohio State was No. 5 at 7.04.

CFP CHAMPIONSHIP It’s All About the Big 10/Pac-12,

No SEC in Arlington

How about the coaches? Oregon’s Mark Helfrich has a 24-3 record in two seasons since Chip Kelly left to coach the National Football League’s Philadelphia Eagles. He was a member of Kelly’s staff that led the Ducks to the 2010 national title game which they lost against Auburn. Helfrich will receive a $250,000 bonus if the Ducks win which is on top of the $460,000 in bonuses he previously earned. Ohio State’s Urban Meyer has won 37 of 40 games at Ohio State after winning two national titles at Florida. In between he took off a year for health reasons but studied teams like Oregon as an ESPN analyst. Both teams lost their lone 2014 games at home – Ohio State to Virginia Tech on Sept. 6 and Oregon to Arizona on Oct. 2. The Buckeyes have won 12 straight games since, the Ducks nine.

BY MARK MILLER– MMILLER@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

ears after nearly everyone who follows the sport clamored for a playoff to determine the ultimate champion, the inaugural College Football Playoff Championship game is upon us. Finally, we can stop seeing all the ESPN promos for the two College Football Playoff semifinals and concentrate on the title game Jan. 12 in Arlington. Amidst all the X’s and O’s that already have and will continue to be dissected ad nauseam, here are some interesting facts that will happen no matter who comes out on top: • The winner will be a school whose name starts with the letter “O.” • The game will be sponsored by Dallas-based AT&T and played in a stadium bearing that famous company’s name. •P lano-based Dr. Pepper will present the championship trophy. • The team that wins will finish the season with one loss.

• ESPN will broadcast the contest starting at 7:30 p.m. North Texas time. • One head coach will be going for his first national title, the other for his third. • Neither team would even be in the game under the old Bowl Championship Series system. In fact, they would have played in the Rose Bowl had a playoff not been introduced this year. • Maybe most important to many people, a team from the Big 10 or Pacific 12 conference will triumph, NOT one from the Southeastern Conference which seemed to win every year under the old Bowl Championship Series system. OK, so that’s what we know for sure. Now let’s discuss what we don’t, like the final outcome. If the semifinals are any indication, expect a highscoring contest. Oregon had 59 points against defending national champion Florida State in the Rose Bowl while Ohio State had 42 against

While much of the publicity will center on Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariotta and his Ohio State counterpart Cardale Jones, it may be young running backs who make the difference on offense. Oregon freshman Royce Freeman has rushed for 1,343 yards and 18 touchdowns while Buckeyes sophomore Ezekiel Elliott gained 1,632, including more than 200 yards in each of his last two games. Both teams are a bit suspect on defense, with Ohio State tied for 18th in the nation in net yards allowed per play (4.79) and Oregon at No. 58 (5.40). Neither team has a strong kicking so it will be interesting last-second field is needed determine the outcome. But don’t be surprised if at one team returns a kick for a score. So who do I think will win? Being a Big 10 graduate (University of Wisconsin) and with my wife having gone to beauty school in Columbus, Ohio, naturally I have to go with the Buckeyes 42-38.

NUMBER CRUNCH

The number of schools in the title game backed by a company that took in $25 billion in sales last year (Phil Knight, Co-founder and chairman of Nike, Inc., Oregon ’59)

number of times out of three appearances that Ohio State has lost a title game

number of uniform 0 – the number of title games that Oregon has won variations for Heisman Trophy winners the Oregon who attended Ohio State Ducks over (tied with Notre Dame The estimate annual revenue that football brings to Ohio State the years for most ever) 11 – Ohio State $21,000,000 - The estimated annual revenue that football brings 1 – OREGON

$58,112,270

to Oregon (the other sports programs combined $3.7M)

UNDEFEATED Ohio State is 8-0 All-Time against Oregon BY LANCE RINKER– @LANCEMRINKER

Jan. 1, 2010

Ohio State’s most recent win over Oregon came in the 2010 Rose Bowl. The Buckeyes beat the Ducks, 26-17.

Sept. 19, 1987

Ohio State gave Oregon its first loss of the 1987 season after both teams entered the game 1-0. The Buckeyes won, 24-14.

Sept. 10, 1983

Ohio State’s first win of the 1983 season came against Oregon, 31-6.

Oct. 5, 1968

The Buckeyes gave the Ducks their third loss of the 1968 season when they defeated them, 21-6.

Oct. 7, 1967

In the only true road game Ohio State has played against Oregon, the Buckeyes cruised to a 30-0 victory over the Ducks. This was Oregon’s fourth loss of the season and the only time they have ever been shutout by the Ducks. The Buckeyes, meanwhile, got their first win of the season.

Nov. 17, 1962

Ohio State’s win kept it from falling to .500 after entering the game with a 4-3 record. The Buckeyes won the game 26-7, and Oregon dropped to 6-2.

Nov. 18, 1961

Ohio State entered this game with a 6-0-1 record and avoided its first loss of the 1961 season with a 22-12 win over Oregon.

Jan. 1, 1958

The first-ever meeting between these two teams came in the 1958 Rose Bowl. Ohio State won, 10-7. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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After that game against the Bears, Bryant told reporters his public display of passion had nothing to do with what people automatically assumed. “Fuck no,” Bryant said. “Anybody will tell you in this locker room, it’s an unselfish mind-set. That’s what we’re creating up in here.” Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones didn’t meet with reporters following that victory against the Bears, but he did address the hoopla surrounding Bryant the following morning in a radio interview with 105.3 The Fan (KRLD-FM). “He’s a teddy bear,” Jones said. “I’m going to tell you one thing, he’s got a passion. There’s just no stopping it. You just can’t calm him down when he gets going. He uses a lot of energy doing that. That’s his passion. And this team uses some of that passion. It’s not a negative thing.”

But That’s Probably Why Teammates Get a Pass from the Media and He Doesn’t

BY LANCE RINKER – @LANCEMRINKER

et’s make one thing clear, as abundantly clear as Dallas Cowboys star wide receiver Dez Bryant makes it in many of his post-game locker room roundtables. Dez Bryant doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about him. Not how he performs on the field. Not how he behaves or doesn’t behave on the sidelines. Not how he conducts post-game discussions with members of the media in the locker room. There is one other thing we know, other than Bryant’s feelings toward what is printed or said about him, and it’s that many members of the media love to blast the guy for just that. If he’s showing passion on the sidelines during the game, he’s then unceremoniously blasted on social media and news sites as being a disruption and immature. If he’s giving an uncensored version of the thoughts actually running through his head when asked a question by a reporter, he’s then all of a sudden some cancer in the locker room. Is it because certain people have a predisposition to view Bryant negatively when he’s showing passion for his career on the sidelines during a game? Is the issue that he’s black and there’s a stereotype that white America has a tendency to view black men as “angry black men” if they show any sort of anger, frustration, or any of those other potentially scary emotions? Bryant provided some very NSFW thoughts about how he’s viewed and portrayed after the Cowboys 41-28 victory over the Chicago Bears on Dec. 4.

“ Fuck no, I do not care. Because I know I’m not doing anything wrong. They don’t know what’s going on. I can’t care less. They ain’t on no

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

sidelines. Nobody’s on the sidelines with us. The only thing they’re waiting for us to do is take an L and they can talk a bunch of shit about us. ‘Oh, the same ‘ol Cowboys in December.’ C’mon man. Ain’t none of that. We’re going to take advantage of what we need to take advantage of. I don’t give a fuck who films it. That’s the truth. That’s the truth. That’s how I feel. As long as we get the W, that’s all that matters. Put that shit down. You don’t have to put the little – what you do, put the little stars by it. Put my whole cuss words in there. I meant that.” During that game, cameras caught a visibly unhappy Bryant coming off the field late in the fourth quarter after Tony Romo handed the ball off to DeMarco Murray four consecutive times on the team’s next-to-last drive. Those four running plays failed to lead to a touchdown, though the team was on the Bears’ 9-yard line when all four runs were called. Murray failed to pick up the first down and the Cowboys had to settle on a field goal. Bryant was seen yelling and flailing his arms about as he paced up and down the sideline after the play. This behavior isn’t unusual for Bryant, as he rarely sits still on the bench when the defense is on the field. Social media blew up with fans calling Bryant out for being selfish, a cry baby and a range of other things that their mothers probably wouldn’t be too proud about. While the knee-jerkism experienced against those who root against Bryant or the Cowboys suggested Bryant was mad about the play call(s), or mad about being targeted just once in the second half of that game, the reality of the situation was vastly different.

If Jones doesn’t view Bryant’s displays of passion as an issue and if his teammates are all in his corner and know there are frequent misconceptions about Bryant, then why do a segment of football fans and some members of the media view it just the opposite? Aside from underlying feelings of racism or a negative mindset towards what one may perceive to be the “angry black man,” the predominant reason is that it makes for great water cooler talk and great headlines in print and online. That takes me back to a question I ask myself constantly. If Bryant is such a distraction and isn’t passionate about the game when he’s getting loud or animated then how is Jason Witten getting a pass from fans and media for doing the same things Bryant has from time to time? Witten was caught on camera furious his Cowboys were losing to the Philadelphia Eagles at home on Thanksgiving, and he let one of the team’s assistant coaches know about it. At two points during the broadcast, Witten was shown being animated with tight ends coach Mike Pope. One instance occurred after the Cowboys recovered a fumble, down 23-7, and only managed a field goal. If you are even halfway decent at reading lips, it could easily have been inferred that Witten was pissed off about not being able to get open and get the ball thrown his way. Then again, he could also have been irritated with the play calling in general. Former Cowboys great and National Football League Hall of Famer Deion Sanders took the opportunity to point out the difference in the way the outbursts of Witten and Bryant are perceived on Twitter: “Also funny that Witten went off on the sidelines about the ball and ain’t nobody said nothing. #Truth” Sanders has said multiple times in the past that he enjoys the passion that Bryant displays on and off the field and doesn’t view it as an issue.

However, former Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens said he wonders if race has created a double standard when comparing sideline outbursts between Bryant and other players around the league, like New England quarterback Tom Brady. “I don’t want to say it, but I do wonder if race plays a part in the double standard. Why is Brady treated one way, and Dez another?” Owens told Bleacher Report columnist Mike Freeman. “Why is Tom Brady showing passion when he screams at players, but Dez is out of control?” When Bryant’s emotional outbursts are witnessed, they often are interpreted as being negative, or a star receiver complaining about not getting the ball. In a radio interview Romo did on 105.3 The Fan, he said Bryant isn’t malicious, or being the least bit selfish – though perception through the lens of the fan or member of the media is different. “He’s not sitting there trying to show that it’s about him,” Romo said. “There’s no big deceitful kind of motive behind it. He’s actually a big team guy. When he does it, he gets animated. It’s mostly just passion coming out. It doesn’t come across negative to the rest of the guys because you’re around him so much.” Romo went on to say Bryant’s sideline behavior comes across as him being emotional, excited and ready to help the team make a big play or finish off a win. Romo said one of Bryant’s great qualities is he has the ability to help get his teammates going with his passion. “He’s a passionate, emotional player and he gets that way during games,” Romo continued. “If you listen to the NFL Films on it, you’ll understand real quick that he’s yelling, but he’s also saying, ‘We’re the best! Let’s go! Here we are! Me and you guys! Now and forever!’ It’s comical that it’s all negative and weird to other people.” Don’t doubt for one second that Bryant wants to win, and win badly. When shit hits the fan during a game, he’s not sitting on his hands and hoping someone else steps up and tries to light a fire under his team. It’s a quality possessed by some of the all-time greats if you ask me. Better yet, some of those all-time greats have already weighed in and said people need to chill when it comes to criticizing Bryant. It seems Bryant being passionate on the sidelines is only an issue for those he won’t cater to in preor post-game interviews and be best buddies with to make them feel special. Not to mention the average white person who has this image of the angry black man in mind when he’s doing exactly what Witten, Brady and other white super athletes do on the field and on the sidelines. Go figure.

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BLOOD MONEY Are Dana White and the UFC blurring the line between a sports franchise and a monopoly? BY LANCE LEVAN – @LANCELEVAN1

Most of these fighters do not have regular jobs. MMA is their job. They have trainers and nutritionists to pay, gear to buy, camps to fund, traveling expenses, insurance, hospital bills, orthopedic surgeons, physical therapy, etc. Most of these men and women only fight two or three times per year. Moreover, if they don’t win, then they only take home the money they negotiated before the fight. When these concerns were brought to UFC president Dana White’s attention, he responded by saying the following:

“You don’t like the structure? All right, we’ll pay the lower-level guys more money – no more f--king bonuses,” Dana White said. “You guys come in, you negotiate your contracts, and we do away with all bonuses. That’s what I’m thinking about doing. The bonuses are something we’ve been doing out of the kindness of our f--king heart. It was something we liked to do. Apparently, people don’t like it. They want the lower-level guys to get paid more money.” The UFC seems to be treating the fighters like independent contractors rather than members of the “team.” Fighters have to find their own trainers, pay for all of their own insurance/ hospital bills, and pay for all of their own travel and lodging. One of the things that offsets these costs is when the fighters are able to procure sponsorships from vendors.

or the past 20+ years or so, the Ultimate Fighting Championship or UFC has been the premier mixed martial arts venue in the country. It currently stables most of the top-ranked fighters in the country, and the world. If you are a mixed martial artist and you plan to make a career doing so, you probably aspire to compete inside the Octagon. In the world of MMA, the UFC is the equivalent of the NFL for football. Historically in this country, MMA fighters usually were not paid and if they were, they received very meager payouts for destroying their bodies for the audiences’ entertainment. The UFC came

along and changed that. In my opinion, UFC started out with good intentions. It paid the fighters a guaranteed, negotiated salary for each fight and a bonus if they won. Then, fighters were offered bonuses for a crowdfavorite fight or for a sensational knockout or an amazing submission. For example, if a fighter got paid a salary of $20,000 for a fight, he might get another $20,000 for winning. If he won the “KO of the night,” he might get a bonus of $50,000. To most people, a $90,000 payout for less than 30 minutes of work sounds like a pretty good salary. However, you have to consider numerous other things.

be tied to their rankings. The top-level fighters will get more, while the beginners will get considerably less. While this definitely is a motivator for fighters to get better and move up the ranks, it is having negative effects on other fighters who already have inked deals with top-name sponsors. Brandon Schaub lost six of his sponsors immediately following the news of the new Reebok sponsorship. Demetrious Johnson is sponsored by X-Box, but now he will not be allowed to wear those t-shirts and shorts in the ring. He has said in several interviews that he is still unsure how this will affect him financially. He is very openly opinionated about letting the fighters find their own sponsors and their own money. I am unsure what Reebok will be paying each fighter, but if an entry-level fighter is making $40,000 per fight from sponsorships that he or she procured on their own, I don’t think it is fair to force them to wear a UFC regulated uniform and only get paid $2,000. Recently, several fighters brought a class-action lawsuit against the UFC citing anti-competitive practices that hinder fighters. The fighters are saying that the UFC is buying all of the other fighting organizations and making it nearly impossible for them to make money in other organizations. So far, there are only three fighters named in the lawsuit, but I am certain that more will be jumping on this bandwagon. It will be very interesting to see which, if any, of the fighters will come forward and try to make changes in the ways the UFC runs its dictatorship…I mean, its business practices. I believe that most of them will keep silent in fear that if the lawsuit fails, there will be huge ramifications from management for anyone who defied them.

PRESENTED BY

Most of the time, these sponsorships account for more money than the actual fights do. A company sponsors a fighter and that fighter wears the company product during the entrance into the fight venue, or the fighter wears a patch/ sticker with the company name on shorts/t-shirt/ hat while walking into or from the Octagon. It gives the sponsoring company TV airtime and advertising, and that is what makes these deals with fighters so attractive to them. Recently, White struck a deal with Reebok to have the fighters wear a UFC-designated uniform to and from the ring. The fighters still will get money from UFC/Reebok for wearing their gear, but the percentage of money the fighters receive will

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MANUAL

annual

The Instagram Codex Okay, so you’re an adult now. Hashtags can be tricky. Avoid the social media stigmas attributed to these hashtags. The Gym Guy #DoYouEvenLiftBro The Habitual Optimist #NewYearNewMe The Douche #Humblebrag

BY ETHAN HARMON, POP CULTURE EDITOR – EHARMON@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

WHAT MAKES A MAN IN 2015 An introduction to hashtags, parenthood, dating, clothes, and all the other ingredients of the iMan

The Social Media Stalker Guy #WCW The Forever Young Guy #YOLO The Take Photos of Every Meal Guy #FoodPorn The Finally Took A Good Picture Guy #nofilter The Desperate Guy #instagood #tagsforlikes #photooftheday #iphoneonly #follow #instafollow #follow4follow #bestoftheday #instacool #swag #staatigram #friends #igers #happy #followme #instalike #look #20likes #yum #2015 #bestfriend You know who you are. We know who you are. We hate you.

hat makes a man? Or rather, what truly makes a man stand out in our society today? Some men think it requires a lot of time at the gym, working out, building muscle, and ultimately looking like a ‘roided out superhero (oh, and taking pictures to put on Facebook and Instagram). Some think it means holding a nice job to provide for a specific lifestyle. Others believe it means to be chivalrous. Guess what? It’s none of these answers, and with the new year, it’s time to step up to become a better person, or in this case, a better man. So what does it really take? Understand yourself. You’re not going to be a “real man” if you truly don’t understand who you are as a person. What do you like to do? How do you want to be treated? What do you really want out of life? What do you like about others and what do they like about you? To become the man you truly want to be, you are going to need to answer these questions for yourself. Re-evaluate yourself, build something better for yourself, and become what you want to be. A real man does not succumb to the opinions, views, critiques, and harsh words of others. He walks his own path. While looking introspectively into your wants and needs, find out what you love to do. Do you fancy yourself a writer? Or maybe you like to paint? Whatever it is, pour more focus and energy into it. Do not allow your hobbies or dreams to escape due to the stresses of a job

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

or the raised eyebrows of your fellow peers. Find your passion and make it part of your daily routine. You also need to understand your values, or more specifically, what you value in life. If you have a significant other and that person means the world to you, give more attention and

You’re not going to be a “real man” if you truly don’t understand who you are as a person.

affection to that person. If you are building an important career path (in your eyes), then continue onward and don’t stop until you are where you want to be. Hell, even if you just value spending time with your puppy, buy it some toys, take it for a walk, and play around more. A real man understands his values and treasures them. And finally, honestly, just be a man. Although I have provided a small list of things to think about and look into going forward into the new year, these are not everything that makes a man. You’re a man, yes? Well, just be one. Be someone others like to be around, and be someone you are proud to be. It’s not about money, a specific lifestyle, how much weight you can lift, the amount of dates you go on, the clothes you wear, or the car you drive. Being a man is just about being a man. Be passionate and pursue your dreams. Hang out with your friends and make memories together. Just be yourself and enjoy the new year and every year beyond. Just be a man.

THE WOMANARY VOL. 7 - ISSUE 12

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stereotypical attribute commonly associated with women (overly theatrical) crosses your mind, let’s take a walk in our shoes. Imagine devouring two six packs of cheap beer, a whole loaf of white bread and a package of marshmallows all in one sitting. You would feel pretty lousy huh? Well, I don’t know if it ever gets that bad for us, but it is enough to derail our daily agenda and change us into complete “nag monsters.” However, not to worry, you can ready yourself for the storm by identifying a single phrase. During this time, grab your helmet, protective gear and guard your loins, as we slowly transform into one of the hormone-induced female hellions you’ve either already experienced, or only seen on TV.

Brian Miller

“I feel fat” – Red alert! Red alert! Sometimes silence is better than any encouraging word you could give. Don’t kid with her about how you’ve noticed the same. If you do, proceed with caution...and anticipate being in the doghouse. I don’t make the rules... they are what they are... just remember... this too shall pass.

omanary (wo-man-air-ee) noun – A woman’s language or mannerisms decoded, that the opposite sex (men) has no earthly idea how to interpret. As a woman, I will be the first to say that we are complex human beings. From raging hormones to our intuitive instincts, nothing about possessing the XX chromosome is simple. It is hard being a woman but it is even more difficult for us to communicate these differences to the opposite sex. Over the years, I’ve seen blah attempts by men to effectively communicate with their girlfriends,

wives, sisters, and cousins in their own way. Each time, the results are disastrous. So what is a man to do? A man’s saving grace is that women are very vocal about their feelings, likes and dislikes. The womanary serves as a go-to guide that decodes and hopefully sheds light upon the unspoken female language.

Chapter 1. Introduction to Speaking Woman 101 Scenario 1: There comes a time every month when the dreaded b*%#@ visits. Take your potty thoughts elsewhere, because I am looking for the word bloat – and it is not pretty. Before the

Scenario 2: You and your significant other are having a spirited debate about overbearing parents. Your ladylove says that your mother is a little too clingy for comfort. That’s when you refresh her memory of the romantic dinner that her dad insisted on crashing. She says the words, “Excuse me?” as you look into her eyes only to see red flames. You secretly think, did she not hear me? But before you repeat, you must first understand what she is saying. “Excuse Me?” – No, women are not hard of hearing and neither are we being polite when saying this. We just don’t care too much for the foolishness that exited your mouth. Its purpose is to serve as a warning. Before you repeat your statement, quickly review what you have said or most important, what you could have said wrong. In layman’s terms this phrase is basically

BY ERIKA HAYES – ERIKA@CULTURE-HYPE.COM

saying, “please repeat that reckless comment at your own risk, I dare you to.” If you decide to play the role of Billy The Kid by naively repeating your comment, you might as well make your own funeral arrangements. Scenario 3: It’s the season finale you’ve been waiting for. I’m not talking about The Walking Dead, I’m talking Super Bowl XLIX or 49 for those who are unaware of the Greek numbering system. You are pulling out all of the stops. You’ve called up your boys, made a liquor store run for the ultimate refreshment drink – Gentleman’s Jack – and even enlisted your girlfriend as chef. Your girlfriend enters your kitchen with a gaggle of recyclable bags filled with edible goodies. It is 30 minutes until game time and your excitement of the impending game blurs your vision of reality. In fact, the truth is that your significant other has totally bit off more than she can chew. She must cook for 20 men before kickoff begins. Your lady asks for your assistance in the kitchen, as you helplessly exchange looks with your buds as they shrug their shoulders and continue gawking at the pre-game commentary. “Can you help me”– Nothing peeves a woman more than a man who watches labor without offering help. Men offer to help open doors, mow yards and fix tires without being prompted. It boils our kettles when we are struggling to whip together a meal for a host of your friends as you leave us alone high and dry. Most of the time, we don’t need your help but it just makes us feel good to know that we are not by ourselves in our time of “mini crisis.”

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UP YOUR WARDROBE GAME BY AMBER LAFRANCE – ALAFRANCE@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

veryone has New Year’s resolutions. Most people launch into January with unrealistic expectations and illusions of grandeur. We’re here to tell you quick and easy ways to upgrade your game in 2015. It’s really not as hard as you think!

GO INTO YOUR DAD’S OR GRAMP’S CLOSET With classic looks from back in the day not going anywhere, do keep in mind that the older men in your life might be sitting on secret treasures of timeless goodness. Chances are there’s a stockpile of cool gear that you can retro fit to your own wardrobe. Old Corduroy jackets? Polo sweaters? Leather jackets? Your grandpa’s tux from the 60s or 70s? They all could be yours for the taking. Make sure to try the pieces before you roll with them and don’t be afraid to take them to the tailor for a quick fitting.

CUFF IT UP Changing a hem into a cuff changes the leg of a pair of trousers easily. Not only do they help your pants fall better, they add some space between your shoe and ankle giving your look a touch of class. Thick one-cuffed styles are in and you can’t go wrong with a classic wide double rolled cuff. Dark wash jeans are the ultimate wardrobe staple and look pretty sweet with a cuff.

GROOMING IS EVERYTHING Upgrading your style isn’t all about your wardrobe. Taking care of your body is just as important. I mean honestly, an upgraded wardrobe does you no good if your complexion is rough. The secret is maintaining a simple routine of washing, toning and moisturizing your face daily. Hey, we go through a lot more to look good for you, so it’s the least you can do.

SHINY SHOE MAN Regular shoe maintenance and polishing may take some elbow grease, but it’s totally worth it. A newly-shined shoe is almost as good as a brand new pair. Rocking a pair of newly-shined wingtips makes all the difference. It’s a small reminder to the ladies that you pay attention to detail, if you know what I mean.

WEAR YOUR OLD THINGS NEW Instead of splurging on a brand new wardrobe, it might help to spend time rethinking your current closet. Rock your vintage tee underneath

MANUAL

annual SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Guys always forget to wash their face after working out or before sleeping and it’s so simple. Another important aspect of grooming is taking care of your facial hair. Please shave your neck; your man pubes should not connect to your beard.

a suit jacket with beat-up boots and black jeans for a business casual chic look. Match that with unflappable confidence and you are good to go. Go through your wardrobe on your day off (I prefer Sundays), mix and match new creative outfits and take pics on your iPhone so you can easily put them together during the week.

YOU BETTER WORK Let’s not fool ourselves here, clothes always look better on a man when his body is in top form. Workout regularly and maintain a healthy diet to see the benefits both in and outside of the gym. Be realistic; if you’re not a gym rat, focus on working out a few times a week but stick to a meal plan. Print out your daily meal plan and put it up on the fridge, it will be more effective. If you treat your work week as a time to work on yourself, you can binge on brunch or dessert on the weekends.

BY MIKE GRAVAGNO These days, it seems like there’s a ton of discussion about what it means to be a man. Times are a’ changin’ and no longer are men solely defined by eating nothing but red meat, refusing to ask directions when lost, and punching anything that confuses them. Men can (and are even encouraged) to eat some leafy greens, reach out if they need help, and resolve conflict like an adult rather than a medieval baby throwing a temper tantrum. What a time to live in! Here are the definitive top 9 things that make a man in 2015: 1. Communication: Gone are the days where the quiet, taciturn man is the desired archetype. I’m not saying a man should whine about everything going on in his head, but an honest and open dialogue with lovers, family, and friends (and perhaps most importantly, other men) is absolutely necessary in this day and age. Speak up men, and open your hearts through your mouths. Be heard, while listening to those around you. Hearing and understanding what your companions are saying is just as important as sharing your own beliefs and feelings. Practice by whispering into your partner’s ears, and having your partner whisper back into yours. Silly and sensual.

5. Sense of Smell: There’s no need to throw this manly trait out in this new age. Our noses have been saving our bacons for eons, and now let us know which room has the bacon. A man should rely on his sense of smell in nearly all situations to let him know what’s on the up and up. 6. Confidence: Now that you have all of those senses down, it’s time to show them off to the world. Confidence doesn’t mean be cocky or arrogant, those often mask inner-weakness and doubt. Be truly confident, not con-faux-dent. Know your worth and capabilities, walk with your head held high and your back straight, and be okay with confidently telling someone you don’t have the answer. Know your worth, and realize there’s no reason to be nervous in any situation you’ve had time to prepare for (sidenote: always prepare and be ready for anything). 7. Wallet: Bring your fucking wallet with you. Everywhere. Maybe it was my time spent in the Boy Scouts that prepared me to always be prepared, but a man who travels without his wallet (unless in a pool, or somewhere similar) is not a man at all. Don’t go into situations expecting to get coddled and cared for, assuming others will pick up the tab. Bring your wallet, and reach for it when the bill comes damn it. Even if you’re not going anywhere you expect to pay for something, if you die the officials will more easily identify your body if you have an ID. Isn’t that nice?

2. Self-Reflection: A man once said, “An unexamined life, something something something.” And he makes a good point. A real man doesn’t bound through his day making mistakes without realizing his own flaws and foibles. One must know his faults to transcend them, and if you know yourself those around you will trust you more for it. You don’t need to be constantly navel-gazing and self-absorbed, but it pays off to give that belly button a glance every now and then. Know your strengths and your weaknesses, and don’t be afraid to admit them to yourself and others.

8. Balls: I don’t mean testes, though a low-hanging sack definitely is one of the scientific requirements defining a man (Not me though. To paraphrase JZ, ladies is men too, go and brush your shoulders off). You can call it gumption, courage, resolve, or bravery but have some goddamn balls and stand up for what you believe in and believe in what you stand for. Look fear in the face, and moon it. The world can be a large, frightening place but a man has to metaphorically sack up to make his or her way through it successfully. Take that chance, tell your boss he or she is wrong.

3. Sense of Adventure: Do it. Whatever it is. Keep trying new things, because if you’re not learning you’re dying (warning: you can also die if you keep learning). Try a new hobby, whether it’s yoga, camping, or calligraphy. Go to a new place. Taste a new food! Are you 7? Is the bad taste going to kill you, or just be gross for a second on your tongue? Say yes to all new things (at least once), but most of all to new flavors.

9. D.I.Y.-ness: Lastly, a man of the modern age must know when to do things his or her own way. It doesn’t matter if the populace is flowing one way or the other; if you want to go another direction, go there. Example? Everyone is making top 10 lists to start the year. This list is included in that category, but you know what friend? This is the last item. Do it yourself (which is just a manly way of saying be yourself in this case). Also, get your hands dirty from time to time and actually do it yourself whatever it may be.

4. Sense of Self: Know who you are. This trait assimilates some that came before, but it’s

Dave Engledow

MANUAL

important and distinct. Important traits are like building blocks, and you can’t have a true sense of sense without self-reflection or communication, and a sense of adventure will have you testing you beliefs against new experiences. To be the best possible man you can be, you have to know who you are and what you stand for. Are you a brave man who likes to fight bears and knit in the evenings? Own it. Are you afraid of the dark, and think socialism isn’t that bad? Own it, friend. Be you, and know who you really are (which often helps to attract mates).

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FATHERHOOD:

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The Older You Get, A Weird Thing Happens… BY WENDY WYATT – BLACKTIPSANDREDLIPS.WORDPRESS.COM Welcome to 2015. The year of…well, 2014 was the year of love so let’s say 2015 is the year of quality decision-making. Doesn’t really have a nice ring to it, eh? Let’s say this is the year of entering a new ‘hood (think, Quinceanera), but I am referring to “fatherhood.” You may be a dad (of children, not the back page), or maybe you’re not. Or let’s be honest, you might be scared shitless of becoming a dad although that’s the supposed natural next step. Think about it, how do you know if it IS the next step? I remember knowing the exact moment when I was ready to be a mother. Insert “mush” here ______. I looked at my husband and thought to myself, “I can’t possibly love this man any more, but I still have an incredible amount to give.”

with happy hours, late nights, shots and other things (insert “women” here ________). What piece of advice would you pass onto to kidless folks? *Robert: The people who have kids now used to be you. I used to think the people who had kids were uptight and judgmental. And I’ve come to learn, that yes, they are uptight and judgmental. I am one of them. But hey, I like to drink whiskey and smoke a cigar (all while secretly judging yet staring at you with envy while you frolic to and fro. Okay, that was me. It’s like he’s referencing the song Drinking Class by Lee Brice). What is your favorite part of being a dad to a girl?

True story. But, did my husband have that moment? Pfffft, no. The moment we found out we were having a cherry and not a sausage (her nickname was “lil kolache” until that moment, get your head out of the gutter), he nearly passed out. Stark white, cotton-mouth, speechless. Again, another true story.

*Robert: When she gets up before I leave for work and says “I love you, Big Bear.” (Let’s pause here…10 years ago it was “I have a job” or “I have my own car,” but hearing your S.O. speak these words now about fatherhood is a whole ‘nother level of sexy talk).

You ready to take on “that next step”? I decided to ask my husband about his experiences with fatherhood. All names are protected … because well, the soft side is exposed and vulnerable. And come on, what man can truly handle that?

*Robert: Knowing someone will break her heart. (Watch out, this is how baby No. 2 comes along).

How have you changed since you had children? *Robert: I really do think I have the cutest kid. For one, I say “cute.” I don’t desire to go out to bars. (Scratch that…this is me talking. Don’t get it twisted, he is the leader of One Man Parties. Carry on…) I’d rather be at home with my family (rocking out to Styx while annoying my wife. That was me again). Looking back on your life, do you wish you had children earlier or later in life? *Robert: No, I don’t wish I had children earlier (for the record this “person” was 41). Me: Was it because you hadn’t met me yet? *Robert: Uhhhhh, no. My maturity barely suited me let alone another being. I was too concerned

What about the worst part?

What’s funny to you about being a dad? *Robert: The talk about the female anatomy. “Daddy, I need that powder stuff on my v-a-g…” (And yes, he whispered it to me while spelling out this clinical word). And lastly, how do you balance what’s important to you? *Robert: A weird thing happens, the older you get, the fewer friends you have. Thank God I have a neighbor who likes to drink beer. And sexy time? Very calculated. And quick. (He asked me to assure everyone knows he means “time-wise.” Duly noted, “Robert”). All in the name of serious reporting, I was able to snag about seven minutes of this “emotional talk” about fatherhood with him. That’s when he flipped the channel to Die Hard. Thanks for nothing, Bruce Willis. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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THREE BOUT A S G THIN TIFUL U A E B A N WOMA

MELISA MAY

Instagram: @missmelissamay Any tattoos or piercings?

Two in my ear, belly button, Monroe, and my nose pierced. My first tattoo was the butterfly on my lower back to symbolize growth in my life and a new direction when I turned 18. The following year I added the starting of my soon to be full sleeve on my left arm. I have three words across my body, left arm – believe, right arm – faith, and my left side – strength. Where is your favorite place to go to on a romantic dinner, and what would you order? My favorite romantic dinner would be a chance to connect with someone in the kitchen. One on one conversations and the chance to really get to show your personality and flavor! Do you have an alter ego? My dark side could be seen in two ways, the southern attitude not afraid to grace anyone’s presence! Or there’s the gory dark side of me that enjoys drawing mysterious scenes and bloody broken objects.

Jarrod Fresquez SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

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Sunshine on Sudie Deep down we know introducing you to Sudie will make the world make a little more sense. BY SARAH BADRAN – SARAH@CULTURE-HYPE.COM Meet Sudie. Her interesting name translates to “legend” in the urban dictionary and although she may not be one yet she definitely is forging her own path towards it. Sudie has been racking up street cred in Dallas after releasing a mere few tracks on SoundCloud. The captivating electro-pop star can be seen performing regularly at local hot spots around Dallas and trust me, she is hard to miss. Equipped with long, colorful braids and the thrift stores’ most exquisite finds, this glam doll’s presence is striking yet her personality is so sweet. The 23-year-old rising starlet is a triple threat as she takes pride in writing, producing and performing all of her tracks. With musical mentors such as Dallas staples DJ Sober and Booty Fade, along with rapper Black Milk, who signed her to his Computer Ugly label this year, Sudie is ready to define her own sound and let the world know her name. I had the pleasure to chat with Sudie about her inspirations, her musical journey thus far, and the indie musician grind.

Q: I have seen your music described as experimental R&B, jazzy meets crazy, indie-pop, folk, electro-pop and soon…from the artist herself, how would you describe your music? It’s really hard for me to describe actually because I’m still discovering every day what it could be but I would say along the lines of electronic, experimental pop! I just recently taught myself how to produce and as I’m working on my first EP, I continue to add more sounds as I discover them which adds a different component musically.

Q: What are the fun aspects of being a musician? I think just having a career in something you love. I get to express myself and dress up really crazy and it’s acceptable being a musician. I get to hang around like-minded people and do really fun things such as open for other talented musicians in town. I love performing! SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Jonathan Stafford

Q: What’s been the most interesting part of your musical journey thus far? I would say learning how to produce. Discovering Logic and Garage Band…selecting a sound, then manipulating it is a new exciting part to songwriting. It happened on accident in college when I went to SMU for vocal performance. I didn’t have anyone I could rely on to make music for me so I thought I would try and do it myself.

Q: Where do you draw inspiration from when songwriting? I start off with an experience or feeling I get and I’ll write the lyrics, then a melody comes in mind. From there I go to the media and record so I remember it, then I go to production and add the candy which is the fun part. I also try and record it as an acoustic. Most of my songs have acoustic versions.

I love. I just love clothes. My closet is so full and I love patterns, the crazier the pattern, the better. I get basics from American Apparel and everything else is from the thrift store; I don’t spend over 10 bucks on my clothes.

Q: What artists do you listen to? Ella Fitzgerald is my favorite artist. It sounds so cliché but I love “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. Also Patsy Kline, Peggy Lee and Bread. Right now I’m super into 90s music, alternative rock and hip hop. I am focusing on that right now: Aaliyah, Ashanti, TLC, Monica and Usher.

Q: What’s the indie hustle like for you?

Q: Your style is striking and really unique. Tell me where do you pull your style influence from?

It’s like having two full-time jobs. It’s really hard to balance work and hustle on the music side. I love my job because I’m friends with every one there, but sometimes I’ll be at work wishing I could be working on my music. Learning how to balance the two is the key. I’m tired a lot because of the hours working and sometimes I don’t get home until 4:30 in the morning.

My friends are my biggest style influence. (They) help me go through my closet, which is made up of tons of thrift store finds. I’m inspired by Nasty Gal, Clueless, Reality Bites and other movies that

Q: What’s the most interesting part of being a part of this new generation of artists in the social media, technologyobsessed world?

It’s weird for me because I didn’t have a smart phone until about a year ago. I liked being that girl who didn’t have a smart phone. I got it for my music career; my manager helps me with my Twitter. I’m learning how to do Instagram and experimenting with artistic pictures and trying to take more selfies because people want to know what’s going on. I follow people that I like and I like being able to see that side of the artist even if it’s a facade. Overall it’s a new thing for me.

Q: What’s next for Sudie? Finishing the EP will be my main focus and hopefully traveling more soon. I want to start collaborating with other artists and continue finding my sound. Also I want to start touring next year even if it’s a small one. I would love to open up for Grimes or FKA Twigs. I’m just really excited about it all! Sudie’s debut EP Heartattack is set to be released in February. You can listen to her music and find her performances at sudiemusic.com.

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Listen to the

MUZAK

Brand Development and Creative Marketing 469-877-1533

BY PETER GERSTENZANG – PZANG7@OPTONLINE.NET

or many of us, food shopping has all the excitement, tension and drama of playing one of our most famous games. Unfortunately, that game is Yahtzee. Meaning, when you shop, nothing much happens. And it takes so long, when you’re done, you feel so old, you walk right past the beer and head straight for the Metamucil. The music at the store has never helped either. It’s mostly bland instrumental versions of Golden Oldies. The peppiest thing being Lawrence Welk’s polka version of “Last Train To Clarksville”. But things have changed. Supermarket music now is infinitely better than the radio. Now, to some folks, that’s like saying a routine rectal exam is better than a colonoscopy. But, if you think about it, the difference is huge. And, if you thought that? What’s wrong with you? Muzak, once responsible for tunes that so zonked you out, you bought 15 cans of waxed beans, has rebranded. That stodgy company is now hip. And the music being played! Last week, while shopping, I heard “Girlfriend Is Better” by The Talking Heads, “What Difference Does It Make?”, by The Smiths and Marshall Crenshaw’s “Cynical Girl”. I was so jazzed, I started dancing with an elderly woman in the bran section. It was great. Until she threw her back out and the ambulance came. What changed? In 2011, Mood Media bought Muzak and figured it was time for an upgrade. Now, supermarkets,

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drug stores and boutiques can order music that will encourage their customers to shop. As opposed to begging to be put into a medicallyinduced coma. Mood Media has bought up tons of classic rock, alternative and R&B. You know, stuff actually recorded after The Battle of Pork Chop Hill. Now cafes and book stores are playing The Clash. Not Kenny G.’s rendition of “The Age Of Aquarius”. What a relief! This public music is so great now, it might even help the economy. You know, in addition to the Republicans raising the minimum wage. So working families don’t have to eat Ramen Noodles three times a day. See, a store’s atmosphere plays a big part in how long you stay. Atmosphere includes music. And if the store is playing “The Best Of Manheim Steamroller” (I realize that title is an oxymoron), you might be tempted to grab a few things quickly and split. But if the speakers are playing, “Radio Free Europe” by REM, or “Marie” by Randy Newman, you might stay longer and buy more stuff. And poof, the deficit will be fixed! So, finally, there’s a trend I can fully embrace. I can go shopping and hear The Pretenders. Instead of the long version of Maureen McGovern’s “The Morning After” (okay, any version is the long one). My only complaint? Nobody seems to be playing rap. But, it’s early yet. One day I’ll be in Walgreen’s and hear Ice Cube’s “Dead Homiez”. Then I’ll know, with absolute certainty, that the revolution has finally been won.

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HOWTONOT

BY STEVEN DOYLE – CRAVEDFW.COM

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STARVE

Carbone’s

There is not a day that goes by that I am not asked about my favorite restaurants. Sometimes the mailbox is full of at least 50 requests. Whereas I do not mind giving my recommendations based on their particular criteria (dog friendly, cheap, great food, vegan and must have a beer list of at least 40 locals), I am sometimes at odds when it comes to selecting a new spot when I am going on a date. Perhaps this is an example of what Abraham Lincoln said about those who represent themselves having a fool for a client.

I made short list of places I really enjoy, with no particular theme in mind other than great food or drinks located across Dallas. Check it out:

Gemma

Emporium Pies

This is a terrific restaurant located on Henderson, far enough away from the maddening party scene to make it a comfortable dining destination. The menu is varied enough that it will surely please anyone, including seafood, beef and chicken dishes. There are plenty of vegetarian items offered, so that will never be a problem either. I love the bar at Gemma, as it has a pretty awesome wine, beer and cocktail list. And best of all, Gemma is open very late at night when most restaurants have been closed for hours. The pricing is moderate. gemmadallas.com.

Max’s Wine Dive

Lockhart Smoke House

This is a super cool restaurant located in Uptown that specializes in fried chicken and champagne, and also is open late night with brunch all weekend, including Friday afternoon. That brunch will cure any hangover. Don’t let the wine part of the name throw you off. If you are not a wine person, and you should have a few favorite styles of wine (think pinot noir that pairs with most anything) then look to the cocktail or beer list. Max’s typically will have a few really good local brews on tap. maxswinedive.com/dallas-mckinney-ave.

El Come Taco

Max’s Wine Dive SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

I know a lot of you think that the truck stop tacos at Fuel City are the best, and they do rock at 3 a.m., but when you want really good authentic street tacos look to El Come. The people there do rock the typical meats you are used to, including my favorite, al pastor which is a spicy pork with a tinge of pineapple sliced from a trompo. But this place also will have stuff straight from across the border like tacos

de grillo (crickets). If you see something odd on the menu, by all means try it.

Dough Pizzeria There is nothing wrong about this pizza joint located at Forest and Preston in Dallas. The chefs rock the Neapolitan-style pizza and also make their own cheese each day. If you have never had burrata, it is a mozzarella-style cheese stuffed with gooey cream and topped with olive oil and tomatoes. Holy hell it’s good. Great beer selection here, too. doughpizzeria.com.

Off-Site Kitchen The best burger in Dallas, bar none. Located at 2222 Irving Blvd., this joint is only open for lunch. Coming soon is a location in Trinity Groves which promises evening hours. Order the Do It Murph Style which is loaded with roasted jalapeno and smoked bacon relish. Killer. For bigger appetites, enjoy the Ten Buck Four Banger, which it’s a meat attack on a bun. With cheese. This place also is very cheap as it is on the DL.

Carbone’s For Italian, I love me some Carbone’s. It is uber casual with everything made from scratch in a kitchen open for all to see, and it is simply incredible. Go for the lasagna. This is the stuff Michael Corleone dreams of. Don’t stop with the main course, order a damned cannoli. It is the best you will savor this side of Sicily. carbonesdallas.com.

Mai’s Restaurant This is the Vietnamese Mecca that all the chefs go to for their fix. These people were doing pho before it became the rage just a few years back in Dallas. Throw a dart at the menu and you won’t miss something terrific to dine on. Vegetarians will have their fill here as well. maisrestaurant.net.

Stampede 66 This Texas kitschy place is owned by the fabulous Stephan Pyles, chef to the stars. You will be the star when you check in for some

hot Texas cuisine like his family made growing up in west Texas. Choose anything from tacos, honey fried chicken (the best), and even chili. The chili is made in house, then canned and delivered steaming table-side and served with homemade Fritos. Don’t forget the margaritas. stampede66.com.

Herrera’s I love Herrera’s perhaps because I grew up on these enchiladas and the place defines Tex-Mex to me. Whatever the reason, Herrera’s is amazing with several locations across town, including the newest near Trinity Groves in West Dallas (just beyond that newfangled bridge). Order the 2C for a bit of everything on one plate. herrerasoc.com.

Luscher’s Post Oak Red Hots There is this guy, a chef, named Brian Luscher. He is a super cool guy who would be fun to sit down and kill a six pack with…and he also happens to make some of the very best hot dogs around. From scratch. By the time you read this he may have his new restaurant open in Deep Ellum which will specialize in these dogs, but if not you can buy them packaged at the Green Grocer on Greenville Avenue. Chi dogs never tasted so good. postoakredhots.com.

Lockhart Smoke House For my BBQ fix, I hightail it to Oak Cliff in the Bishop Arts District. There I can plow through ribs, chicken, brisket and spicy housemade sausages by the pound. I always look in the chill case for some cool side dish the chefs may have concocted, or even an unusual meat of the day (oh lawdy, when they do wings it is a good day). lockhartsmokehouse.com.

Emporium Pies While in Bishop Arts, I always stop in at Emporium for a slice of heaven. The chocolate pie with a pretzel crust is insane. There always is a line, so be prepared to bring along a few ribs to gnaw on while waiting for the ladies who own the joint to slice off a slab of their sweet, sweet pie. emporiumpies.com.

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went on open-ended hiatus earlier this year after releasing six albums over a 12-year span.

BY ALAN SCULLEY – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM

“I’ll always love Greg, you know what I mean?” Gray said. “Done some of my best work with him. I’ve worked with him for however many umpteen years. And it (his departure) was an emotional process. But people re-evaluate their lives every day. And I think that one day Greg just woke up and this wasn’t at the top of his priority list. “It (making Blood for Blood) was really emotional because of that change. And, you know, we leaned on each other to get through it,” he said “And I think ultimately, even for Greg, this is probably a better situation for him…I wish him the best, man.”

Hellyeah’s new album displays the band’s focus beyond its partying roots

With Tribbett gone, Hellyeah became a four-piece band, (with Bloodsimple bassist Kyle Sanders also joining the band in place of Bob Zilla, who had joined Hellyeah in 2007). And while it took some work, Gray thinks the band may be better in its new configuration. “I think (guitarist) Tom (Maxwell) really stepped up,” Gray said. “I think that (before) we’ve been – it’s almost like setting up a shot in a camera and like looking, you know, at the horizon and like just where it’s just kind of a little out of focus or whatever. And I think we just tightened up that focus on this record and made it a little more seamless than it’s been in the past.” In fact, the band members have called Blood for Blood the defining album for Hellyeah, which is no small statement for a band that has gained plenty of respect for the hard-charging yet grooving bluesy hard rock/metal that typified its earlier albums. The group established its sound on its self-titled 2007 album, which gained enough pre-release attention largely because of the pedigree of the band members, to debut at No. 9 on Billboard magazine’s album chart. The second album, Stampede, arrived in 2010, followed by Band of Brothers in 2012, an album that started to hint at more of a metal element coming into the Hellyeah sound

Since coming together in 2006, Hellyeah has been known as a good-time party band.

the next party, barbecue, bar or anyplace else where a good time is waiting to be had.

The group originally brought together members of several respected and established metal bands – Mudvayne (vocalist Chad Gray and guitarist Greg Tribbett), Nothingface (guitarist Tom Maxwell and bassist Jerry Montano) and Dallas’ own Pantera and Damageplan (drummer Vinnie Paul).

“It’s a heavy record from a heavy (musical) standpoint and it’s a heavy record from an emotional standpoint,” Hellyeah vocalist Gray said during a recent teleconference interview with reporters. “Even some of the more mid-tempo tracks are, you know, a

Those bands hardly were known for upbeat music, but in Hellyeah it was a stated goal from Day 1 that the band was going to be all about fun – both in the songs the band wrote and in the lifestyle the group members led together.

little deeper lyrically than what Hellyeah is kind of known for in the past.”

But Hellyeah’s latest album, Blood for Blood, shows the band has more on its mind than where to find SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

One of the elements that brought some extra emotion into the Blood for Blood project was the departure of guitarist Tribbett. For Gray, seeing Tribbett leave was especially notable because they also were key members of Mudvayne, a group that

Working as a four-piece band wasn’t the only change that came with the Blood for Blood project. After self-producing its first two albums and working with Jeremy Parker on Band of Brothers, the group brought in producer Kevin Churko (known for his work with Ozzy Osbourne, Five Finger Death Punch and In This Moment) for the latest project. “We felt like it was time for us. We had done as much as Hellyeah could do being self-produced,” Gray said. “You know, we needed that sounding board, we needed to invite that new member in, so to speak, which is what you do when you have a producer. “It’s in everybody’s best interest to put out the best songs you can have. But sometimes it’s hard to get out of your own way. So you need that sounding board.”

The direction Hellyeah pursued on Blood for Blood with Churko’s help took the group in more of a metal direction (note songs like “DMF” and “Demons In The Dirt”) with plenty of intensity to go with the more introspective tone of some of the lyrics. Gray said he feels the more prominent metal edge stemmed in part from allowing the individual musical influences of the band members – whose other bands all had a harsher, more metal-based sound – to come through in the new songs. “You know, we always strove to separate what we did in the past to what we do now,” Gray said. “And it’s funny because like now we’re not trying to steer Hellyeah back to (Pantera) or Mudvayne or anything like that, but we do want our own personal identities back. You know what I mean?” The album was recorded in Las Vegas, which Gray admitted might not have been the most obvious place to go for a group with a revamped lineup that wanted to buckle down and prove it could create and focused and powerful album. “I thought to myself like, really? Vegas? No distractions there right?” Gray joked. “But it turned out amazing. I mean, I couldn’t believe it. I mean, when you can be as focused as we were in Vegas, in a town like Vegas, I think that says a lot to the focus of the band and how bad we really wanted this to be a great record. “It’s all killer, no filler was kind of the headspace we went into with it. You know, just let every song breathe and be its own thing, whatever that thing is, and just make it the best you can.” Hellyeah will get a chance to showcase its new songs and new musical direction on its headlining tour this winter. Gray looks at heavy metal as music that gave him a purpose and a direction in his life, and enjoys the idea that fans coming to Hellyeah shows are getting the same release and thrill he felt going to concerts when he was growing up. “When I look out over the crowd, it’s just like I remember being that kid,” he said. “And you know, it’s therapy. You know what I mean? Like people pay money to go lie down on a couch and talk to psychiatrists. Or you can buy a concert ticket and go, ‘you know, you have the pit, let out your aggressions, you could sing along, you know’...I think it’s just an awesome thing from the concertgoers/fan point of view. “I mean we just pretty much – we just bring as much intensity, I think, as we can. That’s just kind of where we’re at in the Hellyeah career.”

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JANUARY 2015

Chris Rock: Bits of Wisdom

Andrew J. Hewett http://chewednews.blogspot.com/

A SCREWY THING TO HAPPEN Vicki Hicks of Sydney, Australia, had no idea what caused her pet duck, Ducka, to walk lopsidedly. When Ducka coughed up a nail, Vicki rushed her to veterinarian Hamish Baron of the Avian Reptile and Exotic Animal Hospital. There, Dr. Baron took an X-ray, which showed a fistful of screws and washers the little “quack” had swallowed, probably because they glistened. Multiple surgeries were required to remove them one by one, taking a total of five hours.

SONS OF (*ITCHES) GUNS The TV series Sons of Guns was canceled after the main gunsmith, Will Hayden, was arrested and booked for child molestation. Now, two others on that show, Kristafor Ford and Stephanie Hayden Ford (daughter of Will Hayden), have been arrested. That’s because Stephanie let her husband, Kristafor, beat on her 9-year-old son.

A PERPETUATION OF IGNORANCE While many countries progress in the 21st century, many laws in Middle-Eastern countries let religion rule over common sense. An example concerns rape, where families often disown a victim, no matter how young. In many cases, they’re even murdered by a male family member. Recently, a mullah was sentenced to 20 years for raping a 10-year-old, which is extremely rare. Even in this case, the child’s family was heard planning to kill her to protect their name.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. A man is only as faithful as his options. Anything you can suck at should make you nervous. If you’re at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems. You know what they say, “There’s no reason to ever hit a woman.” Shit! There’s a reason to hit everybody. You just don’t do it. Shit, there’s a reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs. You just don’t do it. Ain’t nobody above an ass-whooping.

Capricorn: December 22-January 19 Happy birthday asshole! You’ll soon get friendzoned by three different women. Each one will suggest you ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned you. Aquarius: January 20-February 18 Imagine the look on your face when your boss sends you a link on how to write a good resignation later. Pisces: February 19-March 20 You soon will find out first-hand that the most horrifying sight you ever can witness is two morbidly-obese people getting nasty with each other in a dance club’s run-down, public restroom.

Aries: March 21-April 19 This month you’ll get a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. Taurus: April 20-May 20 Your generosity finally pays off this week when your $100 gift card inspires your waitress to have sex with you. Gemini: May 21-June 21 You’ll start drinking heavily after sitting on the bus for three hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to you who was discreetly masturbating.

Cancer: June 22-July 22 You’ll soon get to know downtown Dallas a lot better when you lose your job, get kicked out of your apartment and roam the streets looking for food and shelter. Leo: July 23-August 22 Once again nothing much is going to happen to you but the stars thank you for checking in. Virgo: August 23-September 22 You know times are tough when you’re selling your girlfriend’s panties on Craigslist.

Libra: September 23-October 22 The world will be amazed when some idiot introduces your grandmother to yoga pants. Scorpio: October 23-November 21 Your girlfriend found out you secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That’s until tomorrow, when she’ll get on your Facebook account and publicly share every porn page you visit. Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 The stars discreetly suggest that you never ask your woman how she got so good at giving blow jobs.

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ust so we are clear, it has taken a Seth Rogan and James Franco buddy comedy to deal the first major blow in the devastating and epic 21st century cyber wars. Reader, we’re in the initial days of 2015 and we are living in the days of corporate-personhood. Companies, like people, can hold religious beliefs, political leanings and now they are experiencing the bitter taste of unbridled fear. This is not that cushy white-collar fear that expects the government to bail them out. They are feeling the debilitating fears of a regular person. The beginning stages of the breach at Sony did not include the normal raiding of the coffers. There were no news reports about the discretionary accounts of Hollywood executives drained empty. The hackers of North Korea knew that financial losses could be recouped, but to enforce their will upon those with wealth and status they had to key in on a deeper target.

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The hackers knew that Sony Studios did not care if the North Korean regime was upset about the film. Instead they unleashed a barrage of emails that revealed a catty, backstabbing, racist environment that had no choice but to implode under the pressure. And with that implosion the entire Sony empire felt the very human feelings of public shame and embarrassment mixed with panic and cowardice. When faced with such raw feelings Sony ran to its friends for help and understanding. Instead the company was greeted by creative-types who showed little sympathy after reading private emails labeling them talentless and greedy. Rather than embark on an apology tour for roughly six years of email insults, Sony decided to turn to its fellow studio heads. But this time, the neighboring power players from fancy zip codes quietly went back to the cool kids’ table and allowed Sony to be bullied into submission.

And although it’s easy to slam Sony for surrendering, we must realize this was a hostile nation waging an attack on a corporate-person (while that corporate-person’s Japanese parentcompany has looked on in relative silence). It’s no wonder Sony continues to bow to the harassment and threats. It is in this very public defeat that Sony will continue to show the world a very human face, while becoming a more hardened and vengeful company behind closed doors. Sony, and other companies, soon will realize that voluntarily canceling a film’s release doesn’t fall under the terrorism clause of its insurance agreements. First it’s tens of millions of dollars lost, then other global players get involved and it’s possible that billions could be lost each year due to good-old fashion intimidation. And in this revelation, companies will go on the offensive building higher cyber-security walls and forming their own hacker militias that will cry out “Never Again!” in darkened rooms lit by wallto-wall screens. The siege on Sony will become a parable of Hollywood, Silicon Valley and Wall Street. This case will be dissected in the halls of the most prestigious MBA schools until the end of time. Sony and the rest of the business world already are looking forward to the next attack. There surely is another one coming and the collective redemption will rest with the next corporateperson willing to risk a life’s work to make a stand. In this age, there will be those who choose to self-censor instead of angering the extreme elements of this world. They will hope for a great leader to bestow favor and save them from fear and embarrassment. But these corporate-persons will have to learn, just as we have, that most days you must fight back and save yourself.

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JANUARY 2015

Hanging with the Houston Texans Cheerleaders

ll is quiet inside NRG Stadium when the Houston Texans Cheerleaders arrive more than five hours before the noon kickoff between the Texans and Baltimore Ravens. It is one of the most important contests of the season for both teams as the Ravens could clinch a spot in the postseason with a victory while the Texans, with newly-signed quarterback Case Keenum, were fighting for their playoff lives that depended not only on their winning out, but multiple other factors with various other teams throughout the AFC falling in their favor. The 33 women who comprise the Houston Texans Cheerleaders team have a call time of 7 a.m., although many of them wake up around 4:30 a.m. and arrive at the stadium far earlier to ensure they are prepared for the day that lies ahead. When the audition process took place back in April, a record 1,033 women were on hand hoping to make the squad, so the 33 who were selected obviously are very talented. However, as each home game approaches, coach Alto Gary keeps them at the top of their game by not only practicing three nights a week, but also having them audition for the chance to be out on the field on Sunday.

BY JAY BETSILL – @THEFAMOUSJAY As the kickoff approaches, the cheerleaders walk out of the tunnel and form an intro-line out on the field for player introductions that includes fireworks and sizzling hot pyrotechnics to raise the level of intensity inside the stadium to an entirely new level. The cheerleaders remain out on the field for the national anthem, which was performed by four-time Grammy-winning country singer-songwriter Lyle Lovett after the Texans and Ravens players arrived on the sidelines. Following the pre-game action, the

One of the driving forces behind the Texans cheerleaders’ popularity has been their domination in the social media front. A prime example of this occurred back in February when a Crosby Bruce Chandler High School senior

On this particular day, the cheerleaders went out for their appearances in their traditional uniforms, but went back to the locker room to change into their Santa outfits that were custom-designed by Gary specifically for this game. Gary took her favorite parts of each of the previous holiday uniforms and submitted it to the team’s designer for this season’s game. They are performing three routines – pre-game, thirdquarter break and two-minute warning – with each of them themed around holiday music.

Puerto Rico. For four days in May, they did photo shoots on private beaches, private boats and had iguanas walking alongside them in the sand. “It is my third year to be given the opportunity to be in the calendar,” said Delaney, a third-year veteran cheerleader. “The entire experience was amazing and this year we had our first calendar release party at the Houston Texans Grille. We revealed the cover and then the calendar girls in front of a huge crowd and it was the first chance for fans to buy them.” In addition to those featured in the calendar, there was one Texans cheerleader who stood out for a different reason all together. The 33 women voted and gave third-year veteran Liz the honor of representing the team in this year’s Pro Bowl, which will be played at University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz., on Jan. 25, the week before Super Bowl XLIX. “I am so blessed to be a part of this team,” said Liz, who found out she had been voted in after a week night practice at the Methodist Training Center, better known as the bubble across the street from NRG Stadium. “While I basically blacked out after the announcement, my teammates told me that our coach said that 97 percent had voted for me. I had tears of joy and I am very honored.”

After going through line practices and basically running through each of the day’s dances in the locker room, the women start getting their hair and make up ready before heading out to the field at 9 a.m. sharp for “sound check.” During sound check, they play each song that the cheerleaders will be dancing to throughout the day as their last warmup before the game kicks off. In the meantime, there is no rest for the cheerleaders as once sound check is completed, it is time for them to make their game day appearances consisting of autograph signings, taking pictures with fans and performing on the Budweiser Plaza. “For our game day appearances, we get to mingle with the fans and visit with them and they get to see us up close and personal as opposed to when we are down on the field,” said second-year veteran Madison. “It’s a lot of fun and I would say that is one of my favorite parts of the whole game day experience.”

second-year veteran Caitlyn. “It is so surreal to be down on the field looking up at a huge crowd of over 70,000 fans and it gets so intense when J.J. Watt makes a big play and everyone is screaming MVP as loud as they can. It is so unbelievable and I get the chills all the time. I love every moment of game day.”

The Houston Texans Cheerleaders and their fans would have a lot to cheer about on this day as the Texans got out to a 16-0 halftime lead over the heavily-favored Ravens. Behind Pro Bowl running back Arian Foster’s 96 yards on the ground and a touchdown pass and the defense led by Pro Bowl defensive end Watt, the Texans would keep their playoff hopes alive, winning 25-13.

cheerleaders split into their four groups led by Madison, Amelia, Lesha and Liz and take their positions in the corners of the field in front of a capacity crowd of 71,771 fans. While the Texans franchise still is relatively young – its first game was a 19-10 win over the Dallas Cowboys on Sept. 8, 2002 – Houston fans are very knowledgeable during the game. The cheerleaders also take pride in keeping the massive stadium very quiet while the team is on offense and helping ratchet up the decibels to rock-concert levels while J.J. Watt and the defense are out on the field. “I am a huge sports fan. Big, big into sports, so my favorite part of game day is watching the game and being so close to the action,” said

known as ‘Big Mike” asked Caitlyn if she would go to the prom with him if he could get 10,000 re-tweets. She agreed, he did, it went viral on the Yahoo! front page and the rest is history.

As the fans poured out of the stadium, the cheerleaders were set up at tables at all four exit gates selling and autographing copies of their 16-month calendar that benefits the Houston Texans Foundation. Caitlyn, Lesha and Sarah F. were stationed in the northwest corner and had long lines for close to an hour of fans purchasing the calendars and getting their pictures taken with the cheerleaders.

The cheerleaders are required to tweet at least once every day on any number of things including where they are going on appearances to directly interacting with fans. Not so coincidentally, there are two NFL cheerleaders who have surpassed the 40,000 followers mark and they are both on the sidelines at NRG Stadium. As of press time, Caitlyn has 44,713 and Lesha has 43,722 followers.

While it may have seemed impossible to make the hoard of Texans fans any more ecstatic after the big victory, the cheerleaders easily accomplished that goal by taking the extra step to make sure all of the fans had their pictures and autographs before calling it a night. And by calling it a night, I mean retreating to the locker room and getting on social media to celebrate the win with their fans.

Another sign of the Texans cheerleaders’ growing popularity came when shortly after auditions, they had their first destination calendar shoot in

For further information on the Houston Texans Cheerleaders, visit houstontexans.com/ cheerleaders. WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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