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VOL. 6 - ISSUE 10
Nolan Ryan Unceremoniously Says Goodbye to the Rangers
THE LAST WALK BY WILL MARTIN – MRWILL316@BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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hat is it about saying goodbye that can be so acrimonious, so rushed, so rash, or just so wrong? Well, depending on who the person in the moment happens to be it’s all in the delivery. On Friday, Oct. 18 in Arlington, one of the most awkward and absolutely bullshine moments in a resignation – or was that a retirement – press conference was conducted with the predetermined Nolan Ryan stepping aside and saying goodbye to the Texas Rangers and to baseball. Flanked by principal team owners Ray Davis and Bob Simpson, Ryan stated publicly that he was planning to leave the team for some time to have more time with family. “I feel my relationship with (Rangers president/ general manager) Jon (Daniels) is good and our relationship didn’t come into play on this,” Ryan said during a press conference at the Ballpark in Arlington. “This closes a chapter of my life in baseball. I feel like it’s time for me to move on and do other things. This is a decision that has been weighing on me but I feel like it’s the right decision.” In a statement issued by Major League Baseball, Commissioner Bud Selig said: “On behalf of Major League Baseball, I thank Nolan for his service to the Texas Rangers since 2008, a successful era that has been most memorable to the club’s fans. During times of significant change for the franchise, Nolan has been a constant — accessible, dedicated and an icon to his fellow Texans who love our game. “Nolan’s unique perspective as a legendary player and an accomplished executive has been invaluable to the Rangers franchise. I am certain that Nolan will continue to be a great credit to Major League Baseball and an exemplary ambassador for the national pastime in the state of Texas and beyond.”
Publisher Kelly G. Reed Editor-in-Chief C. Craig Patterson Creative Director Jette Stephens Cover Design Jette Stephens Cover Photo Photographer: Jarrod Fresquez, Model: Kody Matthews, Make-up & Hair: Jennica Lynlee, Gown: Rochelle Rodriquez, Chair: Flora & Eventi Photo Editor Darryl Briggs Staff Photographers Gregg Case, Jarrod Fresquez, Jonah Gilmore, Steven Hendrix, Kevin Jacobson, Rick Leal, Chuck Majors
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Do Simpson or Davis anticipate any backlash by the fans over Ryan’s departure? “There will be some backlash because of who the man is,” Simpson said. “I would ask that it’s not lasting. We’ll work hard to continue to bring a quality product to the field that fans have become accustomed to. I think Nolan is still a fan of the Rangers himself, so we would ask that they look at this as a transition in life. A man makes a decision in life to go in another direction, not as a condemnation of the Rangers. It’s understandable that some fans love the man and want to see him here.” In a statement released by the Houston Astros, Ryan’s son Reid, that team’s top executive, shared his thoughts on the news. “As his son, I am extremely proud of what he has accomplished as both a player and as a front office executive,” Reid Ryan said. “He was an integral part of all three of the World Series appearances by Texas teams, in 2005 with the Astros and in 2010-11 with the Rangers. He has always treated the game with dignity and respect and has appreciated those that make our game great: the fans, players and employees.” It seems this scenario has played out before as Ryan left the Rangers front office early in 2004 before beginning a four-year stint with the Astros. This time one has to wonder: is Nolan leaving the team due to his inability to get along or work with Daniels? Were there concerns about how much say Ryan had with the team after Daniels’ promotion? “From a corporate standpoint, Nolan’s authority didn’t change at all,” Davis said. “What we were trying to do was recognize the accomplishments and responsibility of our two departments, being baseball and business. So it was strictly a title change. Nolan still had all the authority a CEO in any corporation has. On all major decisions in baseball, Nolan had final decision. “If you’re going to hold people responsible for departments, then they have to have the autonomy to make decisions within their department or you don’t need them. So there’s going to be times when there are disagreements,
perhaps. But if there are major decisions, then there has to be a consensus and that consensus would have to be from whomever the GM is, the president and the CEO and ownership.” Nolan Ryan returned to the Texas Rangers on Feb. 6, 2008 and gave them immediate credibility despite all that Tom Hicks did not do. Ryan was instrumental in being a part of new ownership when an auction was going on to buy the team in August 2010. He was the steady anchor in providing a working environment that brought two World Series to Arlington albeit no title. Ryan was the one person who gave Ron Washington a second chance in March 2010 after an admitted peccadillo with cocaine. Ryan took a chance on Josh Hamilton also in 2008 and in 2009 began to implement a different mental approach to playing in the Texas heat and pitch counts. This ball club that was owned by MLB in 2009 while dealing with financial issues under Ryan’s watch as he strategically and successfully cultivated a culture of winning in Arlington while building up the best minor league system in baseball through 2010. Two seasons in a row of more than three million fans and some renovations later you see a franchise act like a big city market in its look and presentation. Will Ryan’s departure make Daniels the object of hatred? An outsider who dared to take on the authority, career, success story, and track record of longevity in baseball that is Nolan Ryan? Is it really just a case of geeking on a computer with spread sheets and going with a hunch? This is not to demean what Daniels has done. That July 2007 five-for-two trade with the Braves built the crux for a pennant contending team two years later. Do we blame Daniels that Napoli, Uehara, Adams, Young, Hamilton, and Wilson all opted to go elsewhere and that he failed miserably in acquiring solid clubhouse leadership (what Young possessed), production (what Hamilton delivered), and experience (what Napoli brought)? Or maybe success is its own bitch at the dance hall. If ownership and management is still ruled by testosterone and ego then sports hasn’t changed in 5,000 years.
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Will just making the playoffs save Garrett?
BLUE MILE
Making the playoffs will probably prolong his tenure as the head coach, but not if they fall into the playoffs. They have to earn their way into the post-season and I realize any playoffs, despite how you get there, would be excellent for the Cowboys. Yet if they just make it, Garrett’s head is likely to roll off Jerry Jones’ desk. This year the Cowboys roster has been ravaged by injuries to the defensive line, but the NFC East doesn’t seem to be as strong as usual so it might balance out in the Cowboys favor. It will require players to step up to get the job done. Players like Brian Waters, George Selvie, and Kyle Wilbur need to keep going and continue to be a presence.
BY ZACH WALKER – @ZACHWALKERDB7 Can Jason Garrett break the .500 mold, propel the Dallas Cowboys into the playoffs, and prolong his Cowboys’ coaching career?
Who’s really at the helm?
After taking the reins of a Romo-less 1-7 team on Nov. 8, 2010, Garrett managed to coach the Cowboys to a final 6-10 record. He was seen as the savior, the red-headed answer man, from the moment he took over. The coach who would save the team from the pits of despair would become the new Cowboys head coach. There were hopes he’d bring a bit of what he learned as a player under Jimmy Johnson plus his own changes in the Cowboys culture, and bring in the right assistants including former Cowboys players such as Leon Lett and Chris Boniol. But has anything changed since Garrett has been head coach? How much better off has Garrett made the Cowboys? And how secure is Garrett?
Changing the Culture? How much has really changed? All of the pictures hanging in the hallways, and the wearing suits, pre- and post-game have amounted to zero effect on the field under Jason Garrett. Obviously, because those things don’t correlate to on-the-field play. But on the field, nothing has changed; the Cowboys still haven’t been able to close out games on the ground since Marion Barber.
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They still seemingly play down to opponents and struggle to get out of their own way. But Garrett has done positive things, and it’s been through the draft. Over the last four years, he has brought in a healthy mix of hard-working, dedicated players often with local ties. Unfortunately, a lot of players who have been drafted have been injured over the last couple of seasons, most crucially DeMarco Murray and Sean Lee. But injuries aside, the players who have been brought in are the right guys to build a team around. Tyron Smith, Travis Frederick, and Dez Bryant are great guys to carry the team for the next seven years or so.
What about the wins? With great power, comes the need to flex that power, ask any tool in a black wife-beater tank top. And with the Cowboys, you have to win, plain and simple. And since 2000, the Cowboys are exactly .500, sure there were a few of good years, a couple of great years, and a smattering of horribly, frustratingly, agonizingly dreadful years. Not all Garrett’s fault, and he has the time, with the remaining part of this season, to remedy the situation and make a run at the playoffs. But it’s going to take a break in mediocrity to take a step towards being great.
Who is the leader of this team? Romo? Ware? Lee? Jerry? Well, it is Jerry, but I think he’s waiting for a coach to step up and take full reign of the team. Is that person Garrett? Well, he hasn’t shown much in terms of taking the load off of Jerry, but Garrett has changed himself, and it has come at an interesting time. Garrett knows that the writing is on the wall, in terms of not making the playoffs, so he’s taking a familiar approach. Anyone who has held some sort of employment has seen people get fired. On the weeks leading up to the termination, you really see two methods of handling it, take the tighten up and fly right and try to keep your job approach or to be more brash, outgoing, and open because you know what’s on the horizon. Garrett chose option two, becoming more approachable and all-around media-friendly.
Can Garrett get the job done? Yes, this season, this team definitely can win the division and do it convincingly. It’s going to take a top-to-bottom, all-in effort by the whole team to get what must be done, done. If not, Garrett is a dead man walking.
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Now chances are Bickley is a bit biased because he also writes for the Arizona Republic, but that doesn’t change the fact that partying while a man lay unconscious is a seriously foul move. But are Candlestick fans really the worst? We’ve done our research and they’re not even close to the following unfortunate list of worst fans ever (in no particular order…)
Dallas Cowboys
The
BEST
of Sports
Worst Fans
BY KEYSHA HOGAN – @THEKEYSHA
We count ourselves among the legions of worldwide Cowboys’ fans. In a recent Harris poll, the Dallas Cowboys remain the most popular NFL team, thus by default…we still are America’s team. Often we are judged for our ostentatious stadium and dismal playoff record, but we are probably hated because we don’t care what anyone else thinks about our team. As part of the Dallas extended family we are allowed to trash the Cowboys, curse Jerry Jones and huff at $50 parking spots. But if you’re not in the family, we’ll explain to you what it means to have a legacy and give a painfully sweet, “Bless your heart.”
Chicago Cubs Being a Cubs fan is much like being a Cowboys fan. Each offseason we sit straight-faced and talk seriously about how this year things will be different. Although the Cowboys haven’t won the Super Bowl in 18 years, Cubs fans are still pulling this mess after 105 years without a World Series win. I know they tout the curse as their reason for this chronic failure, but trust me, we’ve all been cursed by having to hear this story repeated over and over. Could it be that the franchise has problems? Or must we forever listen to more claims of pestilence and plague upon their household?
Boston Red Sox Remember back before 2004, when the Red Sox won the World Series? The only topic of conversation centered on the evil Yankee Empire, driven by greed and domination. Now that they’ve enjoyed some time at the top, their fans brag about their own quest for total rule while they enjoy the benefits of having the second-highest paid roster in the game. They want to keep the mindset of a team of underdogs, but in the 2007 World Series their payroll sat $90 million above Colorado’s. And to make matters worse, in the midst of the hypocrisy, every time we tune in for a home game we’re faced with images of their No. 1 fan Ben Affleck, probably mentally preparing to sully the new Batman film.
Los Angeles Lakers Photo Courtesies: Louie Baur & eviloars
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ecently USA Today sportswriter Dan Bickley declared that “Candlestick Park is home to the NFL’s worst fans.” During a game between the San Francisco 49ers and Arizona Cardinals, fans joyfully, continuously did the wave as an Arizona defensive lineman lay injured on the field. The medical crew brought out a stretcher. They kept doing the wave. Players knelt to pray. They kept doing the wave. Eventually someone got on the public address system and tried to hush the crowd, but of course...they kept doing the wave. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
Los Angeles is known for many things, but when it comes to sports it features some fair-weather fans. Let’s go back. In 1991 when Magic Johnson retired, the truly uncommitted turned their back on the team. Then when Shaq left in 2004, TV ratings took a 30 percent drop. But when they were enjoying championship wins, the Staples Center turned into a douchey bar rather than an arena. The crowd spent the majority of the time texting, primping, and celebrity watching. Phil Jackson told the press “the focus is sometimes not on the court, it’s on the people in the crowd.” But they’ve made peace with it, by combining eight box suites into a nightclub called the Hyde Lounge. It’s a
shame that other NBA teams that enjoy loyal fan bases that come for the game, have yet to enjoy a championship and the beautiful people of L.A. take their team for granted.
University of Maryland - Basketball The University of Maryland is somewhat of a sleeper on this list of annoying fans. Tucked away in the small eastern state, the school mascot is a turtle named Testudo. You’d think the Terrapins would be a relatively calm bunch, too bad their first instinct is always to riot. In 2002 when they won a national championship, six police cars were damaged, a state trooper lost two teeth and they used the metal police barriers as battering rams. In 2001 after a Final Four loss, fans began to loot local homes to steal furniture to burn in the streets. Then they destroyed local cable service for 30,000 residents and cost the city half a million in damages. But let’s give them points for being all about equity. In 2006 when the women’s basketball team won a game, they lit fires all over town and tried to overturn a bus. Win, lose or draw. They go straight to mob violence.
who always cheers for the winning team, for no other reason than they usually win.” Well we’ve got nothing to add, which pretty much sums it up.
Philadelphia Eagles/Phillies Philly fans like to reminisce about a moment more than 30 years ago when they assaulted Santa Claus in the stands with snowballs. They are the definition of a tough crowd. When Michael Irvin suffered his devastating neck injury and fought paralysis, the crowd erupted in cheers. Over at Citizens Bank Park an intoxicated fan intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl. What can we say, they’re kinda the worst. Legend Pete Rose once said, “Some of these people would boo the crack in the Liberty Bell.”
Montreal Canadiens Some years ago the Montreal fan base decided to stop blindly supporting their team and instead decided to go on the offensive and wage an all-out campaign of emotional assault on their players. Instead of supporting their new elite goaltender, Carey Price, they heckled him until he took the ice with the shaky glare of a man on the verge of a nervous breakdown. After one particularly rough post-series game, they were taking bets in Vegas about how Price would kill himself in the upcoming days. And we must not forget the swarm of looters who burned five police cars during the 2008 playoffs because the team advanced beyond the first round. When asked about his hometown fans, even former general manager Bob Gainey is at a loss for civil words, saying, “I think they’re a bunch of gutless bastards, to be honest.”
Oakland Raiders Raider Nation is a collection of troublemaking knife fighters who take handmade cosplay to terrifying heights of realism. The Silver and Black has morphed over the years into a fan base that celebrates its inherent criminal side. They claim that Oakland Coliseum is the most frightening place to play, but away teams usually make a decent showing and walk away with a win. The moments that actually will haunt you are the uncomfortable sadness when you witness a bunch of sloppy dudes wearing shoulder pads made of bones ordering way too many beers before the half.
New York Yankees Think of your friend who is a Yankees fan. You already know exactly why this particular fan base had to be on this list. On Urban Dictionary there is an entry for “Obnoxious Yankee Fan.” They are defined as a “1. Average fan of the New York Yankees. Along with an incredible ardor for their home team, obnoxious Yankees fans are distinct for their loud, rude and simply obnoxious behavior. Along with the Yankees themselves, the fans are part of the reason Boston hates New York. 2. Anyone
Wisla Krakow There are dozens of teams we could have included to highlight the worldwide phenomenon of the soccer hooligan. But the fans of Polish football club Wisla Krakow are a particularly scary bunch. These fans threw a knife during a game and stabbed an opposing player in the head. In their semi-annual rivalry game there is an understanding that there will be deaths and injuries inflicted by their supporters. So much destruction has been caused during these rivalry games that they have renamed the matches “The Holy War.”
Homicidal Honorable Mentions • In 2009, an Iraqi soccer player was about to take a penalty kick that would have been the tying goal. An opposing fan took to the field and shot that player in the head. There’s no clever quip for this one, that’s terrifying. • In 1993, tennis star Monica Seles received death and bomb threats. During a quarterfinal match, Guenter Parche used a five-inch blade and stabbed Seles between the shoulder blades. • During the 1994 soccer World Cup, the U.S. and Columbia were deadlocked in a tight match. In a crucial moment, Colombian defender Andres Escobar accidentally kicked the ball into his own goal. Two weeks later, a bodyguard for a powerful Colombian drug cartel murdered Escobar outside of a nightclub. • In 2010, Hector Castro of McAllen, Texas, beat his 2-year-old stepdaughter to death because she cried too much during a World Cup match. It doesn’t matter what team he was rooting for because he’s horrible. Feeling disgusted yet? Every team has a fringe element that goes way too far and ruins everything for everyone. Here’s hoping that from now on smug obnoxiousness and violent thugs take a back seat to the games and teams we love to watch.
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FIGHT CLUB
UFC 167 Preview BY FRANK LACOSTA – FLACOSTA@BLITZWEEKLY.COM
Georges “Rush” St-Pierre (24-2-0) vs Johny “Bigg Rigg” Hendricks (15-1-0) No one has defended his title for as long or as successfully as GSP. He commands a lot of respect based on his experience and cage etiquette. Don’t let that fool you though, GSP and his grape smugglers are on a mission to quiet all naysayers. GSP holds almost all the cards in this fight. He has reach, can take punches, and an all-around better ground game than Hendricks. The variable will be heart because that is what Hendricks is bringing into this one. “Bigg Rigg” is a local DFW product and has been asking for this match for a long time. An up-and-comer finally given his due. He is lightning fast and has fists of fury. My prediction: As much as my heart would like to see an upset, it just isn’t happening here. This will be the fight of the night and GSP will come out on top by simply biding his time and taking this one to the mat. Ground-and-pound will be the result. Hendricks will have to get back in line down the road. Rashad “Suga” Evans (23-3-1) vs Chael Sonnen (29-13-1) Sonnen comes into this fight with a lot to prove based on his most recent battles. The question is: Will his mouth bring out the best in Evans. Sonnen is the better of the two when it comes to takedown and submission offense. Heck he even has some pop in his punches. Evans though is no stranger to the ground game and has better defense. He’ll prefer to stay on his feet though and play connect four on Sonnen’s face. See his previous fight with the Iceman – leg kicks and punches. He has the longer reach and better striking ability than Sonnen. This fight will be a good one with it basically being a coin flip. My prediction: As much as I like Evans, Sonnen finds a four-leaf clover and wins this one because he succeeds in getting this one to the ground and will be awarded the decision. Bank on it!
Rory “Ares” MacDonald (15-1-0) vs Robbie “Ruthless” Lawler (21-9-0) Lawler is on his second stint in the UFC. His first stint back in 2002 will be remembered for his brutal knockouts. Now that he’s back, nothing much has changed. Ask Koscheck or Voelker. Look for Lawler to bring some serious firepower to this one. He has a strong chin so he can take what he dishes out. He isn’t known for his takedowns but is for fast finishes. MacDonald on the other hand has a few advantages on his side, better submission offense and better takedown defense. He also has the reach advantage if he decides to stand and bang for a few. My prediction: This one will go the distance with a nice methodical, almost machinelike precision in execution by MacDonald to a ground war. Lawler doesn’t stand a chance when he isn’t on his feet. Winner via decision… MacDonald.
Disagree with me? Let me know via twitter @BlitzWeekly and we’ll see who has better picks the night of the fights.
PRESENTED BY
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With nothing left to prove, Is Adderall Abuse Changing the Face of the NFL for Good? start building Dirk’s statue already
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BY JULIE WILKINS – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM
here’s no getting away from the fact that drug abuse is something which seems to be creeping much more into sport in general, and not just the National Football League, in recent years. Stories of players being suspended for taking banned or illegal substances appear to be becoming more and more prevalent. However, within the realm of the NFL there seems to be one drug in particular cropping up with alarming regularity for players and that is Adderall. The question is whether this drug and its abuse will change the face of the game for good or not.
Adderall abuse in NFL The roots of this drug within pro football are not recent by any stretch of the imagination. As far back as 2006 there were reports of players taking it to try and give themselves a boost, to give them focus and make sure they were in the zone for games. The drug typically is prescribed for people who suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as a way of giving them a focus and perspective and to help calm them down so they can carry out their every day tasks without disruption. However, in people who take it without suffering from ADHD it acts in the opposite way as a strong stimulant. In fact, it is classified as an amphetamine. Players within the NFL started to pick up on this and began to take it whether they needed it or not. This has led, over the last few years, to more and more failed drug tests, suspensions and players having to seek substance abuse assistance to help them become clean and able to play again. On the surface, the problem seems to be getting worse. Figures for last season show that there had been a 75 percent increase in the number of players testing positive for the drug, with 21 NFL stars suspended for detection of drugs in their blood and/or urine samples. This makes it, according to statistics, the highest number of suspensions since drug testing began in the sport in 1989.
Players suspended for Adderall abuse Although the NFL is banned from mentioning the types of substances for which suspended players have tested positive, it is thought that in the last year at least seven have given blood or urine samples containing traces of Adderall or other banned amphetamines and performance enhancing drugs (PEDs). Some media outlets have gone so far as to name and shame players with the most prominent examples being New England Patriots defensive SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
lineman Jermaine Cunningham and Tampa Bay Buccaneers cornerback Eric Wright. Cunningham had enjoyed a very successful period as a player and his coach, Bill Belichick, had spoken highly of his achievements and what was expected of him over the following 12 months. However, during 2012 he played in just nine games and ended up with a hamstring injury before his eventual positive drug test and suspension.
Many more names According to other press reports, Seattle Seahawks teammates Allen Barbre, Winston Guy, Brandon Browner and John Moffitt also have tested positive for banned substances (again, possibly Adderall) and have received four-game suspensions each. Moffitt as good as admitted he had taken the substance when he commented that he had had no idea it was banned at the time of his test. This has led to the unfortunate coining of the nickname Sea-Adderall Seahawks for the team. Glib humor indeed, but nothing to really smile of, laugh or be proud about. It isn’t just purely down to one team, however. According to Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, “half the league uses Adderall.” He did fail to state whether all the people taking it were doing so for legal or illegal purposes, but even so, it seems a sorry state of affairs. Sherman himself had his own positive drugs test with suspension following, but managed to get this overturned on a legal technicality which meant the results of his sample were not at all reliable and therefore could not be used against him.
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Dirk Nowitzki is a National Basketball Association champion, league most valuable player, Finals MVP, 11-time All-Star, Dallas icon and has recently added dad to his resume. Heading into the 2013-14 season we have to ask the question; does he have anything left to prove? It’s hard to believe the Dallas Mavericks hoisted up the Larry O’Brien trophy only two seasons ago. The roster has since been blown up after the lockout putting the Mavericks in somewhat of a rebuilding/ reloading roster purgatory with a 35-year-old Nowitzki as the offensive centerpiece. When asked how many more good years he’s got left he responded that 2-3 years is a likely estimate. What Dirk wants to avoid again is having any surgery during the season. His knee surgery at the start of the 2012-13 season knocked nearly 30 games off his season and pretty much derailed the Mavs chances of making the playoffs. If you were 100 percent honest with yourself as a cold-blooded Mavs general manager, dealing Dirk for assets or a high draft pick would be the right move for a team rebuilding. We saw the happen this summer when Boston traded away Kevin Garnett and legendary Celtic Paul Pierce. Nothing is ever sacred in pro basketball, or is it? I’d venture to say that a majority of Mavericks fans (owner Mark Cuban included) want to see Dirk retire as a Maverick in his home jersey. He means that much to the city and to the fans of this town. Basketball stars like Dirk come around only once in a lifetime (if that) and that magical run in 2011 will be remembered as the pinnacle moment that legitimized Dallas as a true basketball city.
It was one of the area’s biggest sports moments and didn’t involve Jerry Jones or the star. It was about Nowitzki putting the team on his back like he’d had done timeless times and finally breaking through against the evil championship factory, the Miami Heat. It was about Cuban finally proving all the doubters wrong that you could win an NBA title with a 7-foot shooting big man. There were so many positive things to take away from that experience and all the while Dirk remained one of the most humble human beings on the planet. But given his age, the Mavs can’t expect Dirk ever to be that Dirk again. He averaged 17.3 points and 6.8 rebounds last season, the worst figures since he was a rookie. Cuban has been trying to find Dirk real help for one last great year but it’s tough sledding in the NBA. Dirk does not want to be traded, but this no-playoff stuff is not something he wants to experience again. “I belong to the city of Dallas; that’s the bottom line,” he said. “I also want to play for a winner.” Nowitzki is near the end of his career but could make a considerable impact in the playoffs on a contending team as a closer, sort of what Brooklyn will likely do with Pierce. However, it appears he does not see a scenario where that happens. During a taped interview that aired during the Mavericks’ 99-93 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers last January, Nowitzki told ESPN cameras that he’d like to end his career in Dallas. “Ultimately, my goal was always to finish my career in Dallas,” Nowitzki said. “The only way I was going to leave was if we wouldn’t have won a championship and I would have been chasing my last two years or whatever like (Gary) Payton and (Karl) Malone did when they went to the Lakers and joined Kobe and Shaq. Something like that, maybe I could have seen myself doing at the end. But since I got that ring now, I think I’m going to finish my career in Dallas.” Dirk has nothing left to prove to the league, Dallas fans, or anyone else for that matter. He’s a Hall of Famer in basketball, as a person and as an international ambassador for the NBA. However, knowing what we know about Dirk, we know he’ll be the last to leave the gym. We know he’s going to give everything he’s got in these final few seasons because he’s a Hall of Famer, and that’s what they do.
Is this the whole truth? However, there is one caveat in this story and that relates back to the fact that the NFL cannot, by law, mention the substance for which a player has tested positive. Therefore, when players are suspended or banned they can, if they choose, quite simply lie about what it was they took. There are suspicions that many players are possibly laying the blame at Adderall’s door when in fact they were taking other drugs, such as steroids. This may account for the sudden spike in the numbers of players allegedly testing positive for the drug and being taken out of the game. It could, however, also be quite true, that there are simply more players relying on this drug to get them through games. One thing is for certain and that is that it looks like there may be many more problems ahead with this drug and we haven’t heard the last of it yet.
BY GEOFF CASE – GCASE@BLITZWEEKLY.COM
hough the tall and relatively spry German’s best days are behind him, his list of accomplishments is just as tall as he is.
Photo Courtesy: Source 24 Designs
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Best
Food, Drinks, Fun & People in
Dallas 2013
f there were such a thing as being too awesome, you, our readers would be it. Your overwhelming show of support for the restaurants, bars, concert halls, beers, and stars of Dallas that you love brought the Blitzies to an official place at the table for the city’s “Best Of” issues. You cast your votes and spiritedly debated your choices on Twitter and Facebook – a few of you even yelled them in parking lots. We welcomed the votes of the Highland Park sushi connoisseur and the sloppy joe food snob, who lives in that apartment with the funny smell. Both the commuting sports talk radio listener and the barefoot music festivalgoer were an equally important part of this democratic process. You brought to us your huddled masses of readers who were tired of being relegated to the position of afterthought behind the opinions of so-called experts who think their picks matter more than yours. Shame on them. In these pages your choices get top billing – even when we don’t particularly agree with you. Yes, there were times when our minds were in one accord with the selections and others when your choices made us curse into pillows and heave anything unlucky enough to be sitting on our desks at the wall. But that was half the fun of it. Your voting style was a representation of our great city: competitive, bold and at times opinionated, sincere, and when it wanted to be, completely unpredictable. So thank you for making this an astonishing year for the Blitzies. You showed us the way with every thumb tap on the iPhone, click of the mouse or index finger jab to the tablet. Take a bow and bask in your greatness. This one is indeed for you.
C. Craig Patterson C. Craig Patterson Editor-in-Chief Blitz Magazine WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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Best Burger – Burger House: We’re stoked to announce the winner of Best Burger is a straight-up, Dallas-born, bred and fostered institution. Established in 1951 right here in Big D, this family-friendly spot has everything from a classic made-to-order flat-top grilled burger to an uber messy double cheeseburger topped with chili and a free bonus of grilled onions. Pair either with fries so tasty you can buy their signature seasoning to take home and put on well, everything. Blitz Pick: Maple & Motor
Best Wings – Angry Dog: We’re not the first to award Angry Dog “Best Wings.” That’s because these suckers are seriously legit. Established in 1990, this spot has weathered the ups and downs of this ever-evolving neighborhood and never branched out into a chain making it a true Deep Ellum staple. The wings come in orders of 10 or 20 and are classic bone-in, no-breading style available in “regular” or “superhot” with celery and bleu cheese. If you ask nicely they’ll hook you up with chicken strips dipped in the sauce if you’re the anti-bones type. Blitz Pick: Sauced Wings
Best Pizza – Grimaldi’s: 100 years of coal-fired brick oven realness beckons you to this posh pizzeria. Though it boasts an extensive wine and beer selection, the other food offerings are limited keeping the focus on the pies: mozzarella produced from milk from free-range cows and 20 toppings including homemade meatballs and Kalamata olives. One of our favorites is swapping out fresh tomatoes on a traditional Margheritastyle pizza (mozzarella, tomatoes and fresh basil) with the sun-dried variety.
Best Asian Cuisine – Thai Tanee: Don’t let the outside of this BYOB Thai eatery fool you. It may look like a hole-in-the-wall on the outside but it has the feel of a cozy café on the inside. With lunch specials starting at about eight bucks and a delightfully extensive dinner menu with all your favorites like Pad Thai, Green Curry, and Tom Yum Soup the price points are super affordable. Cool bonuses include battered and fried Corn Patties as an appetizer, Hot Jasmine Tea and Black Rice Pudding.
Blitz Pick: Serious Pizza
Blitz Pick: First Chinese BBQ piled By Com
BEST RESTAURANTS nn
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Best Tex Mex – Mia’s: Arguably the site where the now indispensably sacred brisket taco was invented, Mia’s is a 30-year tradition among us Dallasites and it’s not difficult to see why. If you’ve got a hankerin’ for Huevos Rancheros for brunch, a margarita with your people on the patio or the fiery satisfaction of a homemade Relleno or Ribeye Fajitas, they’ve got you covered. This place is great for a casual family meal or quick bite and cold cerveza before a late night out and about. Blitz Pick: Gloria’s
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Best Sandwich – The Bayou Market: Genuine Louisiana roots make The Bayou Market not just a Lewisville fave but rather a Metroplex one. While we could talk about the unreal Cajunstyle cuisine, we chose to hand the place Best Sandwich based on the Po’ Boys. The selection ranges from low-country standards to French Quarter badassery and everything in between for less than $10 a sandwich. The Cajun Turkey you can order from Bayou Market for your holiday gatherings also is sold sliced onto one of these bad boys and damn, is it good! Blitz Pick: Uncle Ubers Sammich Shop
SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
Photo Courtesies: Dave Hensley, wanderingcanadian, Uptown Dallas, Monica S. Deege, Keith Allison, Brandi Korte Best Steakhouse – Del Frisco’s Double Eagle Steakhouse: A steakhouse is defined by it’s take on tradition and Del Frisco’s has an exceptionally sophisticated and exceptionally expensive take. Sometimes, though, necessity dictates that you put a significant dent in your life savings on one meal so, if you ever find yourself in that situation this would be the place to do it. Glamorous Belvedere martinis, 1,200 wine selections, oysters on the half shell, 16-ounce Veal Porterhouses and $11 sides of asparagus are just the tip of this luxurious iceberg.
Best Italian – Mi Piaca: After some legal drama earlier this year Mi Piaca re-opened at a new location in Park Cities. As delicious as the food is – and it is delicious – the atmosphere is what makes this restaurant truly enjoyable. This is the kind of place you go to feel really special with modern Italian food, pasta made in-house daily, phenomenal wine and killer service making any visit seem like a celebration. And though the black spaghetti might seem a little goth (black from a special squid ink) it’s absolutely stunning and super tasty.
Blitz Pick: Pappas Bros.
Blitz Pick: Villa-O
Best Barbecue – Pecan Lodge: This place has only been around a hot minute but ours is not the first award it’s received. Smoked brisket, ribs, pulled pork and sausage are offered in two or three combo options with one side (mac n’ cheese, fried okra or pinto beans) and a roll. There is nothing healthy on the short, yet effective, menu which we ultimately find refreshing since no one really goes to a BBQ joint for green beans or low-fat potato salad.
Best Seafood – S & D Oyster Company: Even if you never go to Uptown make this your one exception. Seriously. It opened in 1976 by Southern Methodist University-graduate Herb Story after being completely unimpressed by the seafood Dallas had to offer. He personally sought out Gulf Coast fishing vessel captains to procure suppliers of the freshest seafood possible and that tradition continues today. In a neighborhood known for passing trends this place has maintained consistent quality in simple, incredibly fresh seafood and appeals to a cross section of people not common on McKinney Ave. Blitz Pick: Daddy Jack’s
Blitz Pick: Lockhart’s Smokehouse
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Photographer Jarrod Fresquez Model Kody Matthews Make-up and Hair Jennica Lynnlee Gown Rochelle Rodriguez SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
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GRANADA THEATER
The Granada Theater is hands-down the best venue in Dallas. Its intimate layout and epic sound system are an ode to concert enthusiasts, and truly make you feel like you’re discovering your favorite band for the first time all over again. The Granada crew consistently books the best indie and big-name acts, but tickets never get crazy expensive like they do at other venues. As if it couldn’t get any cooler, the owner bought the place next door and turned it into a delicious foodie refuge with live music every night of the week - for free. Blitz Pick: Lola’s
BEST BAR
BLACK SWAN
We’ve definitely written about this one before. Every time we think of Black Swan Saloon we can just taste the sweet vanilla pecan infused whiskey. If you manage to locate this sign-less bar in Deep Ellum, you certainly won’t find yourself disappointed. The Black Swan Saloon has, hands down, some of the best drinks in Dallas. The fizzy, muddled strawberry concoction is an all-around crowd pleaser and their homemade infused vodkas and whiskeys are seriously awesome. Blitz Pick: Union Bear
BEST FEST
NORTH TEXAS BEER FESTIVAL
Beer Garden? Check. Live music? Check. Not sweating into your pilsner in 110 degree heat because you’re cooling off inside? Check. Though it’s been called a “bullsh** move to skew demographics and drive up prices” after recently relocating to the distant convention center in Las Colinas, NTBF still remains a fan favorite. Regardless of your personal opinion, this fest offers a huge selection on great beers and tasty food. Yes, it’s a bit of a road trip…but the good news: Designated drivers get a 30% discount! Blitz Pick: 35 Denton
BEST SPORTS CHRISTIE’S BAR
Stop by any bar during Sunday football and chances are you’ll find everyone sitting on the same side of the table peering over the shoulders of others just to see the screen. Do your group a favor and give Christie’s a try on game day. You will be hard-pressed to find any seat in the house that doesn’t directly face a big screen TV and there’s a seriously massive projector that drops down in the main room for added viewing pleasure. Added bonus: their drink specials do not disappoint. Blitz Pick: The Londoner
BEST LIVE MUSIC VENUE
BEST TIME OUT DIVE BAR TAVERN BEST LOCAL CHARITY
REBUILDING TOGETHER GREATER DALLAS
If you don’t mind getting your hands dirty, this local big-hearted charity is for you. You can volunteer to help teams of friendly volunteers reconstruct the home of a deserving veteran or hit the golf course in the name of charity to raise funds for the organization’s fall and spring rebuilds. Focused on rehabilitating homes in Dallas’ low-income areas, RTGD gives disabled, elderly and economically disadvantaged homeowners a second chance. This November, they’ll be handing a family with disabled veteran parents the keys to their new, universally friendly home. Blitz Pick: ArtLoveMagic
BIG TEX
Big Tex was so hot this year mostly because he burnt to the ground. Now, like a resurrected Phoenix, he has risen from his ashes to reclaim his throne. It is suspected he may have spent his hiatus tanning and getting work done (this is Dallas right?), but nevertheless he’s back to ring in the yearly tradition. Here’s to Big Tex who, like the rest of us, needs to reinvent himself every once and a while. And, of course, here’s to shoving handfuls of fried foods in our pie holes. Blitz Pick: Kidd Kraddick
REDNECK HEAVEN
Chances are if you’re heading here you aren’t feeling guilty and you’re looking for a good time. Sure the “ABC parties” may be over but Redneck Heaven still has much to offer. From sports to food to attractive waitresses this little outfit has grown to three locations in the Metroplex and now has its own TV show. Don’t forget to have a minnow bomb while there. Blitz Pick: Redneck Heaven
BEST PERSON OF THE YEAR
BEST GUILTY PLEASURE
Looking for a good dive bar without all the hipster nonsense? Near the corner of Lovers/Inwood, and next to a conspicuously shady gas station, is one of the best bars in town. Drop by this low-key joint to watch any game on one of the many screens, mooch off the impossibly cheap drinks, shoot pool or challenge that cute girl in the corner to a game of shuffleboard. You could drink like a rock star and still only spend 10 bucks. Blitz Pick: Lee Harvey’s
SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
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BEST BEER SELECTION – THE GINGER MAN
For those with discerning palates look no further than the Ginger Man to serve your beer needs. The ambiance is a given but it’s the beer selection that makes a visit to this place much like Christmas. From local brews to imports from faraway lands Ginger Man hits the spot. When you have your own beer blend you know you’ve done it right. Blitz Pick: The Ginger Man
LOCAL SPORTS FAN FAVORITE – DIRK NOWITZKI
No brainer here. Dallas’ native son since 1998 hopped aboard Mark Cuban’s train and in 2011 climbed the championship plane. Now a proud dad, a oneteam player for life. This alone is good enough for us. May he enjoy his Maverick golden years. Blitz Pick: Yu Darvish
BEST LOCAL SPORTS RADIO TALK SHOW – THE GBag NATION
Hear Ye Hear Ye. If Ye See Thee, Beer Thee. Gavin Dawson (The General) and Chris Arnold (The Sergeant) have got you covered. They used to rock it at night, now they’re serving the day-shift masses. Give them a listen from 10-2 p.m. on 105.3 The Fan. From sports, shorts and retorts of sorts. Mike Bacsik has joined them to add to the mayhem. They’re quickly becoming a growing force to reckon with. Blitz Pick: The Morning Musers
Dallas Cultu f o re The B e st COMPILED BY AMBER LAFRANCE & FRANK LACOSTA
BEST GOLF COURSE FOR THE MONEY – DALLAS COUNTRY CLUB Founded in 1896 this societal spot has been place to be seen whether you like it or not. The course itself came to life in 1912 with 118 acres of prime real estate. You probably won’t ever be a member, (ask A-Rod) but if you’re lucky enough you could check it out as a guest. Blitz Pick: Firewheel Golf Park
BEST COMFORT FOOD – BABE’S CHICKEN DINNER HOUSE
It’s been 20 years since the Roanoke location opened and since then Babe’s has grown to legendary status. The menu has subtle changes based on location but when it comes to fried chicken and chicken fried steak no one does it better. Bring family and friends, dress comfortably and loosen your belt ‘cause that’s what it’s all about! Blitz Pick: Babe’s Chicken Dinner House
BEST LOCAL NON-CHAIN RESTAURANT – SMOKE Chef Tim Byres changed the game in 2009 when he opened Smoke. Back then it was a new concept and today it’s still going strong, cool, hip and 100 percent Texas if you know what we mean. Entrees such as the bricked Cornish hen and dry rubbed pork spare ribs are a must. If you get up early enough on the weekend go there for brunch. For those who enjoy adult beverages we recommend the 901 homemade cocktail. Trust us. Blitz Pick: Ellen’s Southern Kitchen
the hot list 2013 Television.....................................Big Tips Texas Band.....................................................Larry g(EE) Art.............................................. Ludwig Schwarz Style.......................The Office of Angela Scott Most Beautiful Woman in Dallas...........................................Mina Chang Most Enviable S.O.B. in the City...........................................Cash Sirois
BEST LOCAL BEER – FRANCONIA
During the recent rise of North Texas breweries Franconia proves it has staying power after opening back in 2008. Boasting a brewing heritage dating back to the 1800s, this place does Bavarian brews better than anyone else. If you happen to see the Hefewizen on tap anywhere ever do not hesitate to order the largest container you’re legally allowed to purchase. If you can’t find it anywhere either move somewhere cool or just head up to the brewery for a tour! Blitz Pick: Rahr & Sons Brewing Company WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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Brand Development and Creative Marketing 469-877-1533 info@culture-hype.com
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art of being Smarter, Sharper Men is, if called upon, knowing the absolute right vehicle to steer your female counterparts toward. Within a nanosecond you have to be able to receive and pinpoint a myriad of factors to have an answer so velvety smooth roll off your tongue that she’ll swoon over you like you were Humphrey Bogart in a trench coat. Well, you want to be an awesome car-choosing, smooth-talking Humphrey Bogart in a trench coat don’t ya? Thought so. Here’s your cheat sheet:
Scenario 1: Mid-30s, two-plus kids, does Zumba, recycles, and has a bit of a wild streak as evidenced by that frat party that no one is ever allowed to mention.
2014 Audi Q5 starting at $37,300 Halogen headlights, Panoramic sunroof, Audi MMI® Navigation plus with voice control system2 and Bang & Olufsen® Sound System with 14 speakers and 505 watts. It has enough room for the kids and enough cool for the mom.
Scenario 2:
She thinks of granola as an indulgence, Instagrams photos of her abs after workouts, despises gluten, goes to the DMA more than twice a year, and her father contributes more to SMU than you make in a year.
2014 CTS Sport Sedan starting at $45,100 A 3.6L V6 RWD and twin turbo v6 plus 50/50 weight distribution, exotic wood, anodized aluminum or carbon fiber interior. Classy enough to hold her boutique bags but still has the feistiness to cater to her competitive side.
Scenario 3: The anti-prom queen, she has tattoos in places not fit for conversation, she wears leather jackets in the summer, and your mother warned you about girls like her.
2014 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 starting at $54,800 (though she’ll probably steal it) 5.8L DOHC 32-valve V8 engine, 662 horsepower, TREMEC® 6-speed manual transmission, and just the right amount of wrong to let it still be right. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
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BY PETER GERSTANZANG – PZANG7@OPTONLINE.NET
Im Gonna Become A Rocker (So I Can Finally Publish A Book)
I
n the past year, I’ve had a book proposal turned down by everyone from Random House to the publishers of Jack and Jill Magazine. As you might imagine, this has made me want to exact a really ugly form of revenge. Like holding these people hostage and forcing them to read all of Proust. Or making them eat snack cakes made by Little Debbie. I just can’t decide which would be punishing them worse. However, I’ve recently come up with an entirely new approach. Since everybody in the history of rock and roll has now put out a book, I’m going to follow their strategy. I think I can get a book deal if I do exactly what these rockers did. Okay, the Gary Glitter stuff is off the table. But everything else. I realize I’ll have to do some things over again. To start with, I’ll need to have an unhappy childhood. I know this might be hard to do at my age. But If I show up at my nasty neighbor’s door wearing short pants, holding an All-Day Sucker and ask to be adopted, it might work. I could have that bad childhood. Not to mention the arrest and jail time that also make these books so popular. Then there’s the music. I will hire three talented but deeply-troubled people to back
me up. Each of whom I’ll write about pithily someday. The talented bass player with heart trouble, who alternates between taking BetaBlockers and doing coke. The sex-addicted drummer whose final words before they take him away will be, “She told me she was 18!” And a second guitarist, who, by feeding years of data through his computer, has found the coolest possible way to lean onstage. Even though he can only play a C chord. And his niece has to sub for him behind a curtain. As for me? I’ve never quite understood the difference between a DWI and a DUI. So I’ll get one of each. Do several stints in rehab. Get kicked out for trying to smuggle in a phone. Not a cell phone, but a landline. I’ll find Jesus. Then misplace him. Direct an indie movie, but be fired for intentionally trying to film outtakes. I’ll even record some albums which will be downloaded like crazy. But see my career completely fall apart when I do a whole record of songs written by Murry Wilson.
5 reasons Miley Cyrus is poised for an 8-figure book deal 1. She got a 7-figure book deal at 15-years-old. 2. 2013 is the year of the Twerk. 3. She can give her side of the Sinead O’Connor Twitter feud. 4. Her explanation of the night the VMAs lost its innocence. 5. Obvious daddy issues always make for an interesting read.
I’ll be blackballed by the entire industry. And take time off. Which I will describe as a “hiatus.” But everyone will know I’m lying, because it’ll be clear I think it’s some kind of hernia. Finally, forgotten for years, I’ll then have the sort of story that most musicians are writing and selling. Hear that, Bob Mould, Juliana Hatfield, Dean Wareham? Make room on the shelves. I’m every bit as screwed up and obscure as you are. I plan to use this. And get exactly what I think I deserve.
Movember Mustaches for Billboard’s Top 5
Jay Z
Lady Gaga
Justin Timberlake
Bruno Mars
Lorde WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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HANGOUT SPOTS Kung Fu – It’s a hit in Austin but it’s a massive home run here in Dallas. At the heart of the busiest bar area in Uptown is a place where you don’t have to dress up, can play video games for free, sing karaoke in a private room, and meet some beautiful girls. What’s not to love?
ON
Straight Flexin’
Truck Yard – In the vein of Katy Trail Ice House, this Lower Greenville no-frills bar got its décor from Craigslist and seems to be the new low-key hotspot. As a bonus, there always are food trucks backed up against the place. The only downside (for late-nighters) is that it closes at midnight. Cedars Social – This place is so low-key there’s not even a sign outside. But inside the unassuming brick building across from the NYLO on Lamar is one of the coolest places to eat, drink and not be bothered. If you’re really feeling antisocial, check out the library area, pick up a book and enjoy a Moscow Mule.
BY PAUL SALFEN – COMMENTS@BLITZWEEKLY.COM
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here are so many amazing places to eat, drink, shop or relax in Dallas – and as someone who isn’t a good cook or bartender and likes to get out and consume – I’d like to think I’ve found some of the best. Some of these places may be familiar to you, but some may not. Here’s to discovering new creature comforts.
CLOTHING Original Octane – This boutique clothing store on Travis and Knox has some hot lines from the likes of Scott James, Prospective Flow and Robert Geller that you just won’t find anywhere else. Also, these guys take great pride in not letting you walk out of the door unless the outfit looks good, so you know you’re in good hands. Traffic LA – This super-trendy downtown spot has some expensive high fashion with flare, but if you can swing it, you will certainly be the bestdressed guy wherever you go. Warehaus – Patrick Ware’s West Village boutique has some great form-fitting outfits if you’ve been keeping up with those workouts.
Things That Smarter, Sharper Men Should Take From Paul’s Article SMARTER, SHARPER MEN
SHOES Nordstrom – Although it seems like an obvious choice and you have to brave the mall, this NorthPark favorite really does have the best selection and the best customer service around for fashionable footwear.
Speakeasy – Another gem with no sign outside sits a little more out in the open in the middle of Main Street, but inside you’ll find some of the coolest, most creative cocktails in town. Want an interesting shot? Try the Rumchata, which has horchata, rum and tequila in it. It may not sound like it, but it’s so smooth
#DeepPose #SwaggedOut #FonzySwag #Alexander McQueen #TrafficLA
HIDDEN GEMS ENTERTAINMENT Alamo Drafthouse – This Austin transplant is a welcome addition to the growing list of dinnerand-a-movie chains. Not only does it feature great food and unique drinks, you’ll be kicked out if you text or talk. Or, in Madonna’s case – you can get banned. Midnights at The Inwood – Ever since The Inwood went to an all-couch setup, it has to be the most comfortable place to watch a movie. But the midnight selection on the weekend is always good and the crowd is fun. Add in some strong drinks from the lounge next door and you’ll find a fun late-night experience – and a few people passed out. iPic – If you’re up for the drive to Allen, there’s a great theater that really does have the best food of any movie theater in the area. On top of that, the VIP seats are recliners that come with pillows and blankets. How’s that for creature comforts?
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If you’re not an interesting person it’s your own damned fault.
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Sole Therapy – For $35, you can get the best one-hour foot massage you’ve ever had – but they’ll also work you from head to toe. Hitting all of the pressure points from your skull to your feet, you’ll feel like a new man on the cheap – and you probably won’t even notice all of the people around you in the big, open room. Bill’s Records – It may smell like smoke and be completely disorganized, but there’s a certain charm to this place that you won’t find anywhere else. There are hidden gems everywhere. And while you won’t find any price tags, Bill will make up a somewhat reasonable number for you after you’ve been lost in collectormania for hours.
The movie’s about to start #iPic #ComfySeat #Mandarin ChickenAtTheMovies #WhyTheArmrestHatingOnMy SnuggleTime
Fuel City – You wouldn’t expect that the best tacos in Dallas come out of a gas station window, but they do. It might be ridden with homeless people and just about every kind of drunk weirdo you can think of after 2 a.m., but it’s totally worth it. At $1.40 a pop (cash only!), you may find yourself there more and more often as your latenight bad decision-making continues.
Some are born with style, some acquire it. Either way it behooves you to have it.
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There is nothing that can be done in NYC or LA that can’t be done in Dallas so stop bitching about it.
#NFCeastFirstPlace #RunningWithRomo #Drinking WithJerry #wewinning #some times #BallSoHard #TheyCall MeMagicHand
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The Dos & Don’ts of:
Dating on
BY KARINA MANLOVE – COMMENTS @BLITZWEEKLY.COM
A
few months ago I got a Facebook friend request from a guy I dated last year. I saw it pop up late one night when I was browsing my news feed before I went to bed. I didn’t accept or reject the request; I ignored it. I forgot about it until recently when I accepted another request and I saw his was still there. I can’t lie. I did feel bad about ignoring the request. Why didn’t I accept it? Why didn’t I decline it? I don’t know. I know my reasoning probably makes no sense. I hadn’t talked to him since September 2012, but I’ve accepted requests from people I haven’t spoken to in years, so why would a year be any different? The truth is that I was embarrassed. I didn’t expressly tell him “this is the last you’ll see of me” a year ago. I figured he would get the hint and move on. I didn’t count on him moving on and then moving back in my direction. So I ended up accepting his request, and he promptly sent me a Facebook message: “Hi, I’m not sure if you accepting my friend request was a mistake or not but I thought I’d say hi again on the off chance it wasn’t. Hope you’ve had a good year and would love to chat sometime if you’re up for it.” I really wasn’t expecting that. So I responded: “No, it wasn’t a mistake. I figured there’s no sense in being rude.” And he said: “Well it wouldn’t be rude since it’s your choice, especially since I took you off my list first. I have thought about you recently, hence the request. So I was the rude one. I regret not being with you and how stupid I was because I really liked you a lot.” I had to give the guy some credit. He admitted he made a mistake and regretted doing it. That’s a big thing. Admitting you’re wrong is hard enough, but admitting to someone that you did something that made her not want to see you
RELAT
IPS IONSH
Home Of The
anymore – and that you want to see her again – is more difficult. So what did he do that made me move on?
“Hot Sub Sandwich”
HOURS
It was a mixture of things. Mostly, it was the fact that he had just ended his relationship with his girlfriend of four years. The first time he showed me his house, he explained that his ex took everything she bought for the place when she left including the bed, couch, cutlery, and plates.
MON-THUR: 11AM-7PM FRI-SAT: 11AM-9PM Closed On Sunday
1104 South Elm Historic Downtown Square Carrollton – 75006 972-245-7900
“She took the drawer pulls too,” I remember him saying. I felt awkward walking around the house that they shared. It was even more awkward when I saw some of her mail sitting on the kitchen counter. I never pointed it out, but he always found a reason to mention that the way things were in his house was because of her. Another reason I stopped seeing him was because he wasn’t into reciprocation. I’m not talking about gift giving, I’m referring to ‘I scratch your back, you scratch mine.’ He was all about receiving, which I questioned, and he said he wasn’t into visiting “down there.” Come on dude! Really? I know some women don’t like that, but don’t assume the one you’re seeing doesn’t. At least test the waters before staying away completely. “Oh, my ex, she never liked that,” he said. I’m not your ex and please don’t compare me to another woman. If something like that has ever come out of your mouth, please don’t ever say it again. No good comes out of it. The third reason I stopped seeing him was we had an issue with a missing prophylactic which was every person’s nightmare when you’re not trying to conceive. Yes y’all, the condom went missing and I thought it was inside me, so the day after I had to rush to the doctor after scratching my insides trying to find it. And he just laid back on the bed and talked about playing Skyrim and acted as if it wasn’t a big deal while I was panicking in the bathroom. I couldn’t blame him completely because, as you know, it takes two. But my real problem was his cavalier attitude when it happened. Don’t even go there, guys. Please?! I guess I’ll find out if he’s truly outgrown the ex-girlfriend references. I agreed to go out with him again.
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and 10 Other Movies That
Kick Ass BY GARY DOWELL – WWW.MOVIEINK.NET
K
eanu Reeves has kinda, sorta reinvented himself as a purveyor of old-fashioned martial arts flicks, having recently made his directorial Man of Tai Chi. Next month sees the release of 47 Ronin, which stars Reeves as an avenging samurai. We here at Movie Night are suckers for a good samurai movie (and, in a pinch, a bad one will do). Anticipation for this modern take on Japan’s national epic (more deatails are below) has fired us up to rewatch some of our favorites:
Seven Samurai (1954): Akira Kurosawa’s classic, considered the godfather of the modern action movie, and arguably the greatest samurai drama ever made. Its simple premise: impoverished farmers hire a squad of ronin (masterless samurai) to protect their village from marauders who steal their harvest every year. If the plot sounds familiar, it’s because it was remade as “The Magnificent Seven”, “Battle Beyond the Stars”, and “A Bug’s Life”.
Yojimbo (1961):
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An instant classic by legendary director Kurosawa, this masterwork has defined the genre for decades. Kurosawa’s right-hand man and samurai movie mainstay Toshiro Mifune stars in the title role as a ronin who wanders into a small village where competing factions are vying for control. Both try to recruit
him, and he smoothly plays the two sides against each other. Sound familiar? It too has been remade a few times, as a western (A Fistful of Dollars), a gangster drama (Last Man Standing), and others.
Sanjuro (1962): Kurosawa and Mifune re-teamed for this sequel to Yojimbo, in which our hero comes to the assistance of nine idealistic young samurai seeking to clean up the corruption in their town – though he doesn’t exactly fit their notions of nobility. This breezy tale isn’t one of Kurosawa’s more artistic films, but it does exemplify the director at his most relaxed and tongue-in-cheek.
Chushingura (1962): Hiroshi Inagaki’s measured interpretation of the historic tale of the 47 ronin, a group of faithful samurai who faded into Japanese society like
smoke after their lord was tricked into ritual suicide, biding their time before exacting vengeance one bloody night. Inagaki captures the conflict between loyalty and responsibility at the heart of Japanese society, deftly blending spectacle with historical context.
Samurai Assassin (1965): Straddling the line between the more arty samurai flicks and the bloodier ones that began to arise in the ‘60s, this almost-forgotten classic by Kihachi Okamoto loosely adapts the real-life incident that set off the chain of events that would ultimately close the book on the shogunate in the late 1800s. Mifune stars as a wastrel warrior so single-mindedly determined to achieve personal glory that he is oblivious to what he’s gotten himself into. This is a stark, stunning film.
The Sword of Doom (1966): Also by Okamoto, this charactererdriven classic follows a sociopathic samurai who racks up a surprising number of vendettas as a mercenary swordsman. Okamoto turns our expectations sideways by following his lead character down the path of unrepentant villainy. Planned as the first film in a series, the subsequent sequels were never made, thus turning its open-ending into a fragmented conclusion.
Samurai Rebellion (1967): A stunning work of art by Masaki Kobayashi, starring Mifune as the father-in-law of a woman kidnapped due to a complex political situation. The man and his son are ordered to commit ritual suicide, instead they instigate a series of events leading to a final, bloody duel. Kobayashi spends much of the film focused on drama and tension, making the final battle as cathartic as it is thrilling.
Lone Wolf and Cub series (1972-74): Based on the popular manga title, this six-film series tells the story of Ogami Itto (Tomisaburo Wakayama), a disgraced former executioner, a widower-turned-assassin who travels the country with his toddler son at his side as he seeks vengeance. The films are notorious for their extreme level of stylized violence and over-the-top action sequences. (Most climax with Itto slaughtering an entire army singlehandedly.)
Zatoichi (2003): The popular blind swordsman/ masseuse Zatoichi had already been the subject of numerous films and TV series since the ‘60s when noted actor/writer/director Takeshi Kitano rebooted the character with this clever, beautifully filmed, and slightly trippy version. Kitano borrows the basic premise of Yojimbo and makes it his own with plenty of twists, action, and a touch of comedy.
13 Assassins (2010): A bloody samurai epic by notoriously subversive splatter-film director Takashi Miike, set during the final days of the Tokugawa shogunate and just before the twilight of the samurai way of life. A veteran samurai gathers a band of fellow warriors for a suicide mission to assassinate a cruel noblemen. Beautiful cinematography, stunning fight choreography, and – as one would expect from the director of Audition – lots of bloody mayhem.
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Hilarious Advice From This Guy
DEAD MAN DIGS HIMSELF UP
Never ask about the drug testing policies during the interview… wait until the Christmas party. Stay away from windowless vans and guys named Hal…especially guys named Hal who own windowless vans. Any girl who thinks pouring hot candlewax on you and handcuffing you to a radiator is a girl worth sleeping with – once…ok twice. If a girl tells you that she’s a virgin check for scarred knees. Rubbing a car air-freshener on yourself is perfectly acceptable when the alternative is meeting your bruiseless kneed virgin girlfriend’s parents right after a parking lot football game and smelling like a jock strap.
Scorpio – October 23 – November 21 Happy Birthday dickmunch! Not only will your birthday suck your fiancée will call off the wedding. Yes, it sucks to be you! Sagittarius – November 22 – December 21 You will end up in a fistfight with a complete idiot wearing a panda outfit. After all is said and done, you’ll end up looking like a panda. Capricorn – December 22 – January 19 The mood will strike when in bed with your girl and she’ll end up rejecting you. The reason: government shutdown and her vagina is on furlough.
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By Andrew J. Hewett • www.chewednews.com A NON-MOVING EXPERIENCE Billings, Mont. - Unable to get out of her car, Carol Frances Omeara, age 55, called 911. Asked by the dispatcher if she had medical or mechanical problems, Omeara admitted she was just too drunk to move. And she was. After police arrived, and she arrested, a test found her blood-alcohol level 0.311 percent, nearly four times the legal limit to drive. She also had three previous DUI convictions.
Aquarius – January 20 – February 18 Score! At the bar this weekend you’ll pick up a nice looking girl with a “Team Edward” t-shirt.
Pisces – February 19 – March 20 While jerking it in the bathroom a cockroach will fall from the ceiling onto your hand…
Aries – March 21 – April 19 When introducing your new girlfriend to your mom, your mom will embarrass you by mentioning that it’s her breasts that you first suckled on.
Early in October 2013, Donald Miller Jr. could not “come back to life,” after being legally dead since 1994. Hancock County (Ohio) Probate Court Judge Allan Davis called it a “strange, strange situation.” “We’ve got the obvious here. A man sitting in the courtroom, he appears to be in good health,” Adding, “I don’t know where that leaves you, but you’re still deceased as far as the law is concerned.” Owing $26,000 in child support, Miller had “disappeared” in 1986. LIKE SON LIKE FATHER After Joe Bell’s gay son, Jadin, age 15, committed suicide over being bullied by classmates, the bereaving father began a crosscountry journey to raise awareness for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth along the way. And, Oct. 9, 2013, Joe rejoined his deceased son, after a semi-truck ran him over.
Taurus – April 20 – May 20 You will wake up to your creepy new roommate licking your cheek.
Gemini – May 21 – June 21 Your psycho ex-girlfriend who has already made two threats on your life will inform you that she has a conceal carry permit.
Cancer – June 22 – July 22 While working the register at McDonald’s a customer will pay for his meal with coins and mention to you to be careful that the coins are sticky. You know…male stuff.
Leo – July 23 – August 22 Your dog will shock the shit out of you when he wipes his butthole on the wall after dropping a few turds on your carpet.
Virgo – August 23 – September 22 You will find out the girl you had sex with recently really screwed you. Those weren’t razor burn bumps after all.
Libra – September 23 – October 22 Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you’ll walk in on your roommate whacking off to clown porn.
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