Blitz October 2015

The Unfortunate Tale of

RGIII

Guide to the

Best Sandwiches in DFW Happy

Halloween!

Arguing in

Roger Goodell

NFL’s Puppet Master All Bad Things Must Come to an End for

Mötley Crüe

America

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VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

Make DART and GoPass your ride

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1. Download the app.

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3. Activate your pass on game day.

Fans: Be sure to allow plenty of travel time to arrive by kickoff. Also, sign up for text alerts so you’re in the know, on the go!

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OCTOBER 2015

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OCTOBER 2015

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

2015

OC TOBE R

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Blitz

INTELLIGENCE

7 The Pig in a Dress The Dallas Mavericks have had a devil of a time landing a marquee free agent and here’s why.

8 The Unfortunate Tale of RG3 Robert Griffin III was supposed to be the savior for the Washington Redskins franchise... but that did not happen.

10 Meet the NFL’s Puppet Master Protecting the best interests of the NFL is exactly what Roger Goodell is doing and will continue to do so.

14 Best Sandwiches in DFW Steven Doyle has a list of venues you should frequent for your go-to options.

16 Mötley Crüe: The Last Hurrah!

The band from Los Angeles that started in 1981 is on its final tour and Nikki Sixx gives you the reason.

19 Arguing in America The upcoming presidential election is gearing up and there’s nothing scarier than how people argue.

Publisher and Editor Staff Photographers Kelly G. Reed John Breen, Dominic Ceraldi, Jarrod Fresquez, Michael Kolch, Features Director Rick Leal, Sandy McAnally Amber LaFrance Staff Writers Pop Culture Editor Peter Gerstenzang, Frank LaCosta, Ethan Harmon Lance LeVan, Chris Sick Sports Editor Contributing Photographers/Artists Lance Rinker Paul Brown, Will Folsom, Copy Chief Sherry Sharayah Mark Miller Contributing Writers Creative Director Taylor C. Berrier, Steven Doyle, Jette Stephens Stephen Elliott, Paul A. Esquivel, Andrew J. Hewett, Kendra Kinion, Photo Editor Patrick R. Malone, Alan Sculley, Darryl Briggs Darius Williams

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Jarrod Fresquez Model: Honey Hula-la Make-Up: J ai Okoli – Makeup Junkies, INC. Hair: George Graham – Makeup Junkies, INC.

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

OCTOBER 2015

UFC 192

{In-depth}

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Now is the Best of Times Preview for Joe Buck

BY MARK MILLER – @MARKMYWORDSTEX

F

BY LANCE LEVAN – @LANCELEVAN1

or Joe Buck, this definitely is the most fun time of year.

With the National Football League season now in full swing and the Major League Baseball playoffs about to start, the long-time lead Fox television broadcaster for both sports is about to enjoy the best of both of his worlds.

“There’s a lot going on in my business and I think in anybody’s business if you love what you do, I think that’s when you get your best work,” the 46-year-old said before serving as the featured guest at Southern Methodist University’s recent athletic forum luncheon at the Hilton Anatole.

“When I leave football and go to baseball, I’m a better baseball announcer. When I come back to football, I’m better than when I left because it’s good to get a little bit of a break and get a fresh perspective. It’s a real advantage I think I have.”

Buck has enjoyed such a dual life for the better part of two decades. Son of legendary St. Louis Cardinals broadcaster Jack Buck, he filled in for his father in 1991 while still in school at the University of Indiana. Fox hired him in 1994 at age 25 to work NFL games, making him the youngest person to call NFL games. Just two years later, he became the youngest to call a World Series.

Since then, he has called four Super Bowls and 17 World Series. He worked for 18 years with Tim

for more than six months to the less grinding weekend network schedule has allowed him to spend quality time with his family.

“I would submit that I’ve had more time with my daughters than any of my friends who have 9 to 5 jobs,” he said. “I’m thankful for that since the most important role I play is dad on this earth, not broadcaster or speaker.”

Buck admits being the son of someone famous has had its perks.

“I got to visit every National League city by age 12,” he said. “I was able to work with a hall of famer, live with a hall of famer and get taken to school by a hall of famer. I was a lucky kid.”

Even though he worked with his father for many years, young Buck feels he learned more personally than professionally from him.

“It was more how to be a good person and how to treat people than how you should call this home run or describe that ground ball or touchdown,” he said. “That stuff you figure out. The other is way more important.

“Personally I got more from him. Professionally, I think things just sunk in. We never had class.

It wasn’t like ‘I’m going to teach you how to broadcast tomorrow at 2 o’clock.’ I was in that booth watching him do his thing night after night, summer after summer and eventually it sinks in how you’re supposed to do it and do it kind of in the style he did it.”

“There’s a lot going on in my business and I think in anybody’s business if you love what you do, I think that’s when you get your best work”

McCarver, his father’s former broadcast partner.

His football partner for most of his career has been former Dallas Cowboy great Troy Aikman, with whom he has become close friends.

He served as the regular Cardinals’ announcer through 2007 and still lives in St. Louis with his wife and two teenage daughters, one who followed him to Indiana, the other in high school.

Leaving the rigors of covering one baseball team

Buck is putting his recollections about growing up with his father, who died in 2002, into a book in collaboration with Sports Illustrated’s Michael Rosenberg. He also has taped several episodes of a new show called Undeniable with Joe Buck to air this fall on Direct TV’s Audience Network including one with Cowboys’ owner/general manager Jerry Jones.

Yes, life truly is good for Joe Buck.

Ultimate Fighting Championship 190 is being held in Houston on Oct. 3 with the top three fights to be serious battles. I’m not sure if any of these fights have the makings for “Fight of the Night,” but they are going to be very exciting. The top three fights have at least one champion or former champion in them.

(C) Daniel “DC” Cormier (15-1-0) vs. (No. 2) Alexander “The Mauler” Gustafsson (16-3-0) This is going to be a five-round lightweight (205 pounds) title fight. This fight should prove very interesting. DC is an Olympic caliber wrestler and a brown belt in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Gustafsson is a boxer/shoot-fighter/submission grappler and a purple belt in BJJ. So, looking at these fighters on paper, they seem fairly well matched. They have similar records, neither of them minds fighting on the ground, and they both have a background in BJJ. And that is where the similarities stop.

Cormier is 5 feet 11 inches. Gustafsson is 6-5.

Cormier has a reach of 72 inches. Gustafsson has a reach of 79. Cormier is a world-class wrestler.

Gustafsson is a decorated boxer. It will be very interesting to see if Cormier’s wrestling can overcome the six-inch height difference and the seven-inch reach advantage. Everyone who reads my articles every month knows that I usually pick the BJJ/wrestlers to win. But, in my opinion, I don’t think Cormier can overcome the height/ reach advantage that Gustafsson has. I also don’t think his wrestling will be able to negate the Gustafsson’s boxing prowess. I’ve been known to be wrong before, and I’m sure that I’ll be wrong again, but this one looks pretty lopsided in favor of Gustafsson. My prediction: Gustafsson wins via TKO in the third round.

Both of them are BJJ practitioners. Hendricks is a blue belt in BJJ and Woodley is a brown belt.

I think Woodley is a very good fighter and he is well-deserved of the No. 2 rank. I just don’t think that he has fought the same caliber of fighters as Hendricks. Woodley has a better percentage of finishes via submission, but Hendricks has those “iron fists” which can put an opponent to sleep. In my humble opinion, I think the fight comes down to who has the punching power. My prediction: Hendricks wins via TKO in the third round.

(No. 4) Ryan “Darth” Bader (20-4-0) vs. (No. 5) Rashad “Suga” Evans (24-3-1) This is a three-round light heavyweight (205 pounds) fight. Having seen both of them fight, I expect an extremely fast-paced, action-packed battle. But this will totally depend on which “Darth” Bader shows up. If Bader shows up with his “A” game, this will be a totally awesome fight with the makings of “Fight of the Night.” If the other Bader shows up, this will be a quick match and Evans will not break a sweat. Just like a lot of fighters these days, both of these fighters are former wrestlers and current BJJ practitioners.

Even though Bader is ranked higher, I think “Suga’s” speed will be too much for Bader to handle. My prediction: Evans wins by TKO in the first round.

(No. 1) Johny “Bigg Rigg” Hendricks (17-3-0) vs. (No. 2) Tyron “The Chosen One” Woodley (15-3-0) This is going to be a three-round welterweight (170 pounds) fight. I like this match-up for the simple fact that it is No. 1 versus No. 2. I am a huge “Bigg Rigg” fan, so I’m going to attempt to keep my personal bias out of this. Both of these fighters are decorated collegiate wrestlers.

Disagree with me about the UFC 192 matches?

Let me know via Twitter @BlitzWeekly and we’ll see who has better picks the night of the fights.

PRESENTED BY THE GYM 921 West Mayfield Road • Arlington, TX 76015 (817) 652-1555 WWW.BLITZWEEKLY.COM

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PRESSURE BOILING FOR THE DALLAS STARS FOR THE DALLAS STARS, it’s a different season with the same expectations.

Building a playoff contending team takes time, and for the Stars, time is nearly up. Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin now are playing at the best time in their careers so far, contracts are running out on several players and impactful acquisitions each year by general manager Jim Nill and company play in part for the Stars to win this upcoming season.

Now with three-championship caliber Chicago Blackhawks on the roster, Patrick Sharp, Johnny Oduya and Antti Niemi, the excuses for not making the playoffs run thin. In the offseason the Stars addressed issues that prevented the team from making the playoffs for the sixth time in seven years. However was it enough and is the pressure for players and coaches more extensive than it has been in years past?

Lindy Ruff’s Seat is Warming Up Lindy Ruff is not on the hot seat, but he could be soon. The Stars have a recent history of starting the season sluggish and lacking early wins including last season where the team won only nine times in the first 26 games. Ruff cannot afford for this to happen again. Starting that slow was a substantial reason the Stars failed to make the playoffs.

Ruff struggled in his final seasons at Buffalo with a team lacking the talent the Stars have now. The moves for more talent and playoff experience Nill made increases the pressure for Ruff and the Stars to win.

“Our ownership has made a strong statement that we want to win now,” Nill said after acquiring Sharp in the Trevor Daley trade.

It always seems unfair to attack and blame the coach if the team does not perform up to expectations, but the National Hockey League keeps the leash tight on their coaches. Nill has not said Ruff’s job is in jeopardy, but Nill and the Stars believe they are playoff contenders. If the Stars are not winning early and often, expect Ruff’s leash to get tighter and tighter while his seat gets warmer and warmer.

Here’s why it’s unfair to attack coaches for subpar team performance, the players still have to play and the Stars pressure to “win now” doesn’t stop at the coaches.

Goalie Struggles Fixed?

The trade for Niemi set up several elements. The most important one is reducing Kari Lehtonen’s workload. In the past two seasons, Lehtonen has played the most games at goaltender and Nill can attest to the need for Lehtonen’s rest.

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BY STEPHEN ELLIOTT @WHOISSTEPHENE

“There been times during their (Lehtonen and Niemi) seasons when they probably need to be spelled at times, either because of injuries or being a little bit tired,” Nill said on NHL.com about the luxury of having two starting goalies gives the Stars. The two proven starting goaltenders will keep each other fresh.

The NHL goaltender position reminds me of the Major League Baseball pitcher, there needs to be a rhythm. Playing each goalie every other day just to caution their rest will disrupt this rhythm. The Stars need to stick with the “hot hand.” Whoever is playing the best will start, and when the course load begins to weigh down on the goalie causing fatigue, well that’s why you have the other goalie.

This becomes very important for when and if the Stars make the playoffs. Again and again every Stanley Cup Playoff each team’s best goalie carries the team through the postseason. Jonathon Quick, Henrik Lundqvist, Corey Crawford and yes Niemi force their games into another level to win for their teams in the postseason.

Don’t worry all the pressure will not be just on the goaltender. The Stars know they need a strong core defense and they also addressed that issue this offseason.

That Old Defense Cliché The goalie gets you there, but the defense wins it. John Klingberg, Alex Goligoski and Trevor Daley were top 10 in scoring on the team, but their plus/minus was a combined minus eight (Daley’s had minus 13). To put that number into significance, the Blackhawks top three defensemen had a plus 54 without any defensemen finishing worse than minus 3.

That minus was shed off when the Stars traded Daley to the Blackhawks and Oduya was signed to fill in the gap. Patrik Nemeth’s rebound after an arm laceration provided stability on the back line and barring any injury will continue in the 2015-16 season. However will this be enough? It seems the time to add another significant key for better defense has past. The Stars were 26th out of 30 teams in goals against and the additions of Sharp and Jason Spezza in the past two off-seasons inherit more offensive roles. Do the Stars plan to out-shoot their opponents hoping that results in more scoring? Last season proved that finishing top 10 in goals per game does not equal a playoff formula.

It feels like the same questions and issues were ignored at the beginning of last season as the expectations for that team proved to be flawed. This season’s expectations are just as high, if not higher.

Goligoski, Jason Demers and Valeri Nichushkin, among others, have expiring contracts after this season creating more pressure on them and the team to make the playoffs and win. Nill believes the time to be a top contender is here and if the team underachieves, he will be forced to answer questions.

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

THE PIG IN A DRESS Dallas’ Inability to Land a Marquee NBA Free Agent

L

ike a repeating scene from the 1982 teen flick The Last American Virgin, the Dallas Mavericks and the City of Dallas indirectly seem to always be standing in the kitchen with a broken heart. Tears welling up as the player they wined, dined and were led into believing will become “an item” is hugged up kissing the more popular and more handsome team…yet again!

If you are under age 40, a trip to your local movie rental store to rent this dramatic comedy may be in order to relate to the above paragraph. Maybe just being someone who has throughout life had a tendency of always coming up just short of attaining something that was greatly pursued.

Such rejections can send you spiraling into depression if not equipped with the intestinal fortitude to overcome the disappointment.

Depressed generally is not the way the Mavericks are viewed. Seems like every National Basketball Association off-season the Mavericks front office is playing host to some young hot-shot player who has made it to free agency and “really would love to be a Maverick.” Never do the tour of the American Airlines Center and trip to Uptown for luxurious loft viewings lead to that player inking a long-term deal with the team. The DVD players in each player locker and the plush chairs have yet to prove effective in uprooting the player from his current residence. The 20,000-threadcount robes the players have hanging in their lockers must not be as soft as advertised obviously because not a single top-tier free agent in the last decade has decided to don one.

Dallas, Texas, should be a place that often is targeted by prospective free agents. Currently ranked as the ninth-largest city in America with more than 1.2 million residents, Dallas compares favorably with any large metropolis. Better known as the home of ‘America’s Team,” the Dallas Cowboys, the city has more than 50 years of credibility as a sports town. The fan base won’t be confused with the fanatics you may see at an Oakland Raiders game or spew the same venom as the collection of misfits who fill the stands for the Philadelphia Eagles. Support from those who follow the Cowboys, Mavericks, Stars and Rangers can be unlike any other in the country.

The Mavericks in particular have played in front of a sold-out crowd for the better part of 15 years.

If we all had to give a description of the perfect boss to work for, in those narratives would probably appear Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.

The fan turned billionaire owner always is on the cutting edge of some technological perk that he invests in his team. With maybe exception to Lamar Odom and Rajon Rondo, he sees every

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OCTOBER 2015

LEMARCUS ALDRIDGE UL CHRIS PA

BY DARIUS WILLIAMS @BLITZWEEKLY

player who has made a stop through town for coffee and donuts as a member of his family. He has maintained great relationships with many of his former players, some have even returned after their playing days have passed to take on some type of role within the organization.

“Dallas ain’t got a good night life,” said former NBA star Kenyon Martin who was raised in Dallas.

“Only about two clubs to choose from when visiting teams are in town for the night after the game.”

For all it has to offer to the common man, Dallas doesn’t come across as appealing for the young, hip and rich 25 year old. Let’s face it, chances are if it is a “big fish” free agent to be courted, he most likely will be African-American given the current racial make-up of the league’s top players.

The league caters to the urban culture and the culture absolutely loves NBA players. It often has been said that athlete wants to be entertainers and entertainers want to be athletes.

LEBRON JAMES DWIGHT HOWARD

There is some truth to that fabled theory. Many athletes, those in the NBA in particular, have made attempts at recording a rap album or single. Many waste money in building studios in their mini-mansions and starting their own record label to give a stab at being the next Jay Z. Have you checked out the entertainers on the court for the celebrity game during NBA All-Star Weekend? Watching a three-man fast break of Justin Bieber, Common and Bow Wow can bring instant comic relief. These two worlds often are intertwined and they love the company of each other.

Dallas has nothing to offer in terms of being a mecca for the entertainment industry. You won’t catch Drake, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg or Ice Cube sitting courtside at Mavs games. Dallas is not home to a larger celebrity who isn’t an athlete.

There’s not much of a history of hip hop artists making it off the mean streets of Oak Cliff to some gated community on the outskirts of town.

The biggest selling rap act, if you can call it that, to come from the Metroplex may have been the often-ridiculed and mocked Robbie Van Winkle, aka ‘Vanilla Ice’ some 25 years ago.

The night life in Dallas as it compares to other NBA cities seems desolate. Clubs in Atlanta, Los Angeles, New York, Miami and Chicago aren’t making “last call for alcohol” announcements at 1:45 a.m. like the club goers here are faced with nightly. As fickle as it may seem, to a young player who invests as much in his social status as he does his scoring average, a happening scene could help determine his next NBA home.

Since 2003, the face of the franchise became solely that of one Dirk Nowitzki. Born in Germany and coming to America after he was drafted in 1998 at age 19, the shy and sometime introvert hasn’t been exactly the player to help draw in a marquee guy to team up with him. Although well respected by all throughout the league, he doesn’t seem to possess a game appealing to a young star player looking for a partner in crime. The DeAndre Jordan saga from this past free agency period that saw him make a verbal commitment to Dallas only to renege days later and return to the Los Angeles Clippers could have fallen in the Mavericks favor if he knew he was coming into a situation where he had more in common with the franchise star. Well maybe not since Jordan has since proven to be

a knucklehead, so it probably didn’t matter who was here to team up with him.

“Dallas is gonna have to draft a young star with hopes of him being able to overcome the view of Dallas and recruit the free agents,” Martin said.

Maybe that is the route to take to help change Dallas from being just a place to visit on a freeagent tour. Maybe one day soon a rapper will emerge from Oak Cliff and become a megastar and sit front row at the AAC with his entourage.

Maybe Dallas suddenly will become a hip spot to the visiting teams. Teams with young, talented free agents to be. Free agents who will finally decide that Mavericks and the city of Dallas is the place to ply their craft for multiple years to come.

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The Unfortunate Tale of RGIII 8

OCTOBER 2015

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

BY PATRICK R. MALONE – @PATRICK_MALONE

IT WASN’T LONG AGO that one of the most electric players in college football cemented himself as a Heisman Trophy winner and a consensus top pick in the 2012 National Football League Draft, behind only Andrew Luck. Passing for more than 4,000 yards in his final season at Baylor University, Robert Griffin III lit up opposing Big 12 defenses Saturday after Saturday. His 37 touchdowns to six interceptions, along with his almost 700 rushing yards and 10 rushing touchdowns, thrust him into stardom and sports talk nationwide. He was to become the savior of the next craving NFL franchise.

The Washington Redskins, a franchise pitted with despair and years of mediocrity, picked the former Baylor Bear with the No. 2 overall pick. As predicted, he was dubbed the savior of the franchise, but redemption would come at a price.

To acquire the No. 2 overall pick to spend on RGIII, the ‘Skins paid the St. Louis Rams handsomely, sending three first-round picks and a second-round selection. It was a haul that would give any general manager reason not to use Viagra; a king’s ransom, but was widely viewed as a great deal for both teams.

RGIII entered the 2012 season as one of the top players to watch. No one was more excited to see what the former Heisman winner could do for a franchise that had gone through 16 quarterbacks in 16 years since Dan Snyder bought the team in 1999.

YEAR ONE Griffin, who officially became the NFL’s first starting quarterback born in the 1990s, started out his career with a bang. The Redskins played the New Orleans Saints at the Superdome; a place known to be one of the toughest places to play for visiting teams because of the noise generated by passionate and rowdy fans. Naturally, Griffin and company came into New Orleans as the underdogs, but Griffin showed why he was taken with the second overall pick just five months earlier.

The Redskins won 40-32. RG3 went 19-for-26 for 320 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. He also added 10 carries for 42 rushing yards. His yardage total was the SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

second-highest for a quarterback’s debut game, only behind Cam Newton’s the season before, according to ESPN. He was then named NFC Offensive Player of the Week – the first time in NFL history a rookie quarterback was given that honor for a debut game.

Griffin’s accomplishment on the field wasn’t the biggest of that day though.

“I’ve won a high school state championship and a bowl game in college, but to play in the NFL, the pinnacle of it all, and win your first game against a Hall of Famer in Drew Brees, it’s at the top,” Griffin said that day. “After the game, (Brees) told me he was proud of me.

That’s big for him to say after he just lost the game.”

But it wasn’t all unicorns, candy and puppies for an organization desperately trying to turn a new chapter. After that high-octane game, things slowed down for the Redskins. Going into a bye in Week 10, they were 3-6 in and falling fast. Then everything changed.

The Redskins hosted the 3-6 Philadelphia Eagles; both teams tied for last in the NFC East.

Griffin lit up the Eagles to a tune of 200 yards and four touchdowns. He also rushed for 84 yards and finished with a perfect passer rating of 158.3, which made him the youngest player in NFL history to achieve a perfect passer rating in a game, according to pro-footballreference.com. He also became the first rookie in NFL history to pass for 200 yards, throw for four touchdowns and rush for more than 75 yards in a game, according to Brian Tinsman of Redskins.com.

The Skins would go on to win their next six games, finishing the season with a shiny 10-6 record. They would eventually lose to the Seattle Seahawks in the Wild Card round of the NFL playoffs.

At the end of the season, Griffin set rookie quarterback records with the highest passer rating at 102.4 and highest touchdown to interception ratio at 4:1. He was named to the 2012 Pro Bowl roster, but was replaced by Drew Brees due to a knee injury sustained

in Week 14 against the Baltimore Ravens on Dec. 9. He reinjured the same knee against the Seahawks in the Wild Card loss.

That knee injury would prove to be one of RG3’s downfalls.

On Jan. 9, 2013, Griffin underwent surgery to repair both his LCL and ACL.

YEAR TWO After blowing up the NFL with accolade after accolade, Griffin opened the 2013 season with uncertainty as to whether his knee was fully healthy and whether he was ready for Game 1 or not. He didn’t start any of the preseason games, but did start the season opener against Philly. The Redskins lost and Griffin appeared to be a shell of his former self.

Through the first five games, Griffin completed only 59.81 percent of his throws and threw only six touchdowns to five interceptions. He also posted an 80.4 passer rating, well below the league average at 86.9 for 2013.

In Week 6 however, Griffin showed that he still might possess the talent that exalted him towards stardom the previous season.

The Redskins hosted the Chicago Bears, beating them 45-41. Griffin went 18-for-29 (62.07 percent completion) for 298 yards, two touchdowns and one interception. He had a passer rating of 105.2. This would prove to be the only highlight of Griffin’s season though.

In Week 12, the Redskins lost to the San Francisco 49ers 27-6. Griffin went 16-for-26 (61.54 percent completion) for 118 yards, an interception and a passer rating of 56.3. This marked the first time in RG3’s career (collegiate and professional) that he did not score a touchdown.

But Griffin’s disappointments weren’t completely due to injury, according to then head coach Mike Shanahan.

“I don’t think getting hurt has anything to do with it,” said Shanahan said Grant and Danny Show on 106.7 The Fan, via CSNWashington. com. “In college he didn’t have a route tree, didn’t have a playbook. That does take some time. If you take a QB like that you must run the kind of system that allows them to be successful.”

On Dec. 11, three days after an embarrassing 45-10 loss at home to the Kansas City Chiefs,

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

the Redskins announced that Griffin would sit the rest of the season in favor of Kirk Cousins, though it was said to further prevent the risk of injury rather than a demotion.

The Redskins went 3-13 and Griffin finished the season with 3,203 yards passing, 16 touchdowns, 12 interceptions, a passer rating of 82.2 and only rushed for 489 yards with no rushing touchdowns; a far cry from his rookie season success.

YEAR THREE The third season of RG3’s young career started off with positives and mishaps. Griffin seemed to be his old self once more, but the Redskins just couldn’t generate any offense despite Griffin putting up solid numbers. They lost their season opener to the Houston Texans 17-6.

According to pro-football-reference.com, Griffin went 29-for-37 (78.38 percent completion) for 267 yards, no touchdowns and no interceptions, but had a passer rating of 96.7.

OCTOBER 2015

The Redskins lost their next three games against Minnesota, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the 49ers.

Griffin was then benched in favor of backup quarterback Colt McCoy for the Indianapolis Colts Week 13 game. Two weeks later however, McCoy went down with a neck injury and Griffin was called upon to lead the Redskins to victory. The victory never came, but he did, once more, look good at the position going 18for-27 for 236 yards, one touchdown and zero interceptions with a passer rating of 106.4.

Griffin was named the starter and finished the season showing signs of life that he still possessed the talent that adorned him as a rookie sensation.

Against their NFC foes the Eagles, RG3 threw for 220 yards. Then in Week 16 against the Dallas Cowboys, Griffin put up 336 yards passing, his highest passing yards total all season. He threw a touchdown and rushed

“Every time you step on the football field in between those lines you’re putting your life, your career and every single ligament in your body in jeopardy.”

Griffin once said, “every time you step on the football field in between those lines you’re putting your life, your career and every single ligament in your body in jeopardy.”

for another. The Redskins ended up losing 44-17, but it was a sign that Griffin, given the right weapons and offense, could be the cornerstone player they drafted.

Unfortunately, he was right.

YEAR FOUR

In Game 2 against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Griffin went 2-for-3 before he dislocated his left ankle and was carted off the field. The Redskins went on to win 41-10, but Griffin would not return until Week 9 against the Minnesota Vikings.

This season hadn’t even started and there was already controversy in D.C. During Game 2 of the preseason, Griffin was left in the game longer than what’s typically viewed to be normal for a starting

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RG3 & THE GOOD TIMES

quarterback. In doing so, Griffin was injured on a play where he fumbled the ball against the Detroit Lions and recovered it only to have a defensive lineman fall on top of him, which gave him a concussion in the process.

He was ruled questionable for the next preseason game, was cleared for the game, then ruled not cleared for the game by the same physician only a few days later. He again was cleared; by the time this article is published he might be cleared – then maybe…

The Redskins announced that Kirk Cousins would start and after a win against the Ravens, he was named the starter for Game 1 of the regular season.

Since then, Griffin’s career with the Redskins has been in question and Jeff Darlington of NFL Media confirmed this.

“No surprise…but Colt McCoy will indeed be listed as Redskins’ No. 2 QB vs. Miami,” Darlington said via Twitter.

THE OUTCOME Over the course of three seasons, RG3 has been a victim of circumstance. Whether it is injuries or bad personnel and front office decisions, which are an entirely different story altogether, Griffin’s tale has indeed been most unfortunate.

What happens next could potentially change the football landscape. Griffin is the kind of player for whom you trade three first-round picks. He is a tremendous talent and if put in the right system, could flourish (here’s looking at you Dallas Cowboys’ offensive line).

The state of the Redskins seems to always be detrimental to the team, the fans and everyone else’s health for that matter. Cousins could implode like he did just a season ago and Griffin could very well find himself the starter again. But whether he is the starter for the Redskins or another team, one thing is certain – his story is far from over.

COLLEGE Heisman Trophy (2011) Consensus All-American (2011) First-Team All-Big 12 (2011)

NFL Pro Bowl (2012) NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year (2012) 7x Pepsi NFL Rookie of the Week (2012) 59th “Perfect Game” in NFL History (Nov. 18, 2012 vs. Philadelphia Eagles)

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The Puppet Master: Roger Goodell is Exactly What the NFL Owners Want

BY LANCE RINKER – @LANCEMRINKER Let’s just get this out of the way now.

Roger Goodell has no place as commissioner of the National Football League. What’s come to light about the man determined to “Protect the Shield” is that he is nothing more than an arrogant, shit-for-brains, cover-up con artist.

He’s playing a shell game with fans and players that only the NFL owners can win.

With that said, he’s also not going anywhere.

or saw the video before it was made public on Monday. We will look into it.”

Goodell was expected by some players, fans, and media pundits to be on his way out as commissioner as a result of this web of lies. Trying to sweep a serious societal issue under the rug just seemed like another day at the office for Goodell and owners who supported him.

possibly deflated footballs has truly done him in. All because he refused to accept science as fact and, of course, ignorance of Ideal Gas Law being a cause for the underinflated footballs.

Sure, there were plenty of suspicious things that took place with the footballs that night, enough to warrant looking and enough to still wonder what exactly happened. But there was no real evidence to prove guilt. Yet the NFL

The façade he had built up to show everyone he was the right man for the job back in 2006 was one of trust, a willingness to keep players in line, and above all else – protect the NFL’s reputation. That’s all come crashing down as fans and owners realize just who he is now, underneath all the big talk and finely pressed suits.

Goodell did battle with the NFLPA on behalf of the owners and won, while also uniting all 32 owners over the same core issues. This may seem like some small thing but it’s something that carries significant weight with the owners.

They are each making more money than before under Goodell’s direction.

Goodell isn’t going anywhere, even though he should, because he delivered to NFL owners exactly what they wanted – higher profits and lower labor costs especially for rookies – and teams now have the ability to recoup bonus money for players who breach their contracts.

This event is what began the long fall from atop his mountain for Goodell. The punishment was bungled from the get-go; at first not being tough enough at two games, and then saying he was too lenient and decided to suspend Rice indefinitely.

That report is just one in a long line of items that contradicts Goodell’s claim that nobody at the NFL had seen the video before TMZ made it public.

At the time, NFL spokesman Greg Aiello said: “We have no knowledge of this. We are not aware of anyone in our office who possessed SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

In 2006 when Goodell first took over the job as commissioner from Paul Tagliabue, there was discord among the owners. Many were unhappy that not all of their needs or concerns were being addressed. The owners also collectively felt they were getting the raw end of the collective bargaining agreement, complaining nonstop about the labor deal.

NFL ownership was fractured between groups consisting of old owners and new ones, big markets vs. small markets, and of course those who supported Tagliabue and those who wanted a more independent NFL commissioner.

It wasn’t until a violent assault was caught on camera that Goodell and the NFL decided it was time to take domestic violence seriously.

In a way, I guess we have Ray and Janay Rice to thank for that. Security footage from an Atlantic City casino showed the two arguing and then Ray Rice essentially sucker-punching his then fiancé in the face – knocking her out cold and then haphazardly trying to drag her body around the elevator.

To make matters worse, a law enforcement official in New Jersey sent the video showing Ray Rice punching Janay months before the NFL even acknowledged there was an issue.

According to the Associated Press, audio from a 12-second voicemail on April 9, left by a person in the NFL’s office, confirms the receipt of the video and says, “You’re right. It’s terrible.”

just punishment system, league owners won’t be replacing the man at the top. Not only is he the ultimate punching bag to take the blame for anything that goes wrong, but he’s also done something no commissioner before him has done.

Though the thought of someone like former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice taking over for Goodell as the NFL’s new commissioner, and breaking up the good ole’ boys network, it simply isn’t happening.

More than 60 players have been arrested for domestic violence during Goodell’s tenure.

The first 55 cases not caught on video were simply swept under the rug by Goodell and the league. Goodell was happy to look the other way because the PR Master in him knew this could be a slippery slope for the league to have to address and deal with responsibly.

and Goodell still charged full steam ahead like Wile E. Coyote going after The Road Runner.

Ray and Janay Rice changed all that.

As a result of Goodell wanting to use weak evidence, a bungled investigation and an ‘official’ report that was tampered with, suppressing a witness, and other bully tactics in an attempt to hurt Tom Brady – the NFL now is considering whether his role as judge, jury, and executioner should be revised.

Fast forward to 2015 and Goodell’s fight with the New England Patriots and Tom Brady over

While the NFL may actually work with the NFL Players Association on implementing a more

He may lose some autonomy as far as divvying out punishments to players and also hearing their appeals, but that’s small potatoes compared to why he’s really there. And those small potatoes are mere distractions.

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A Guide to Treating Her Right

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Sherry Sharayah

There is no better way to make her feel special than making time for her. Everyone has things that fill up their calendar (i.e., a job, school, family, etc.) None of these are a legitimate excuse to blow her off. If you are genuinely interested in her, you will find time to fit her into your schedule. Better yet, try to move things around in your schedule on occasion to show your investment in the

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Women appreciate a man who opens their doors, pulls out their chairs, walks on the curbside of the street, reaches for the check or offers his seat to a woman without one. It makes her feel as though a man cares when he goes the extra mile and is considerate. Understandably, some women might say these actions are outdated and they don’t need a man to complete these tasks for them. This topic should be discussed during your boundaries talk.

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Please know that boundaries are not threats. They are merely a way of communicating what you are comfortable with and what the consequences are of crossing a line that has been drawn. In short, setting boundaries is communicating to your partner what you will and will not put up with. Doing this in the first three months of your relationship will set you up for a healthy partnership.

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RESPECT HER BOUNDARIES When thinking about boundaries picture a line in the sand or a fence. This is the point you cannot cross.

You might ask, “How am I supposed to know her boundaries?” Ask her! Depending on the woman, she may not be comfortable starting this conversion. If she doesn’t commence the boundaries talk, you should step up and ask. Crossing her boundaries is a quick trip to the lonely world of single-land.

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I cannot stress this enough. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN! Listening requires effort. When speaking in person, one must adjust the physical appearance. Having your arms crossed or avoiding eye contact gives her the signal you don’t really care what she’s talking about. Instead, make eye contact with her, put your phone on silent and provide feedback to her comments. This concept can be hard but if you truly care about her you will learn the art of listening.

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Are you having trouble comprehending the most complicated human discovery otherwise known as women? As a woman I am the first to admit that females are complex. Women deal with emotional turmoil that men cannot fathom. We give priority to trivial things; go through hormonal changes each month that affect our mood and are so self-critical that our minds almost explode. And though each woman is different, at the end of the day all women want the same basic principles in their men.

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BY KENDRA KINION – @THEKENDRAKINION

relationship. Additionally, if you make plans to meet up, be there on time. Don’t come up with a lame excuse at the last minute and bail. Yes, life happens and you might have a valid reason to cancel last minute, make sure you always reschedule.

USE YOUR BALLS Women appreciate a man with confidence. When in pursuit, playing it safe will never get you the girl. Persistence and boldness are key qualities you should exhibit at all times. If you’re shy and these qualities do not come naturally for you, it’s okay. Remember what hockey superstar Wayne Gretzky said; you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.

GIVE HER GIFTS Every girl should eventually get three things from her man – a stuffed animal, flowers and a pretty piece of jewelry. Keep this in mind as you’re searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day present or a birthday gift that will blow her mind. Gifts don’t always have to be elaborate or complicated. Listen to her. Pay attention to what she says she wants or needs and give a gift accordingly. She might love Dracula. She read the book, has the movie and watches the TV show. Buy her tickets to the play. A gift like that shows you are paying attention and willing to spend time doing what she likes.

COMPLIMENT HER This might seem trivial but for her it will mean the world. Think of the things you like the most about her and tell her all the time. Not to the point where it’s creepy but reassure her she’s the perfect girl for you. Tell her how awesome her hair looks or that you like her new manicure. Pick out small things she does differently with her look and compliment her. On a deeper level, you can point out your girl’s inner beauty. Tell her how sexy her confidence is or how you love the way she always thinks of others before herself.

COMMUNICATE If you don’t get anything else out of my ramblings, please know that the No. 1 key to making any relationship work is communication. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you need to communicate your feelings. Yeah I know it sounds lame but you must do this to know what’s working and what’s not working in your relationship. Once you open up your heart and communicate you will grow closer to your partner.

Being in a relationship requires give and take. So if you follow this guide and treat her like a queen in return you can sit back and watch your king benefits increase. Remember this while you are on your quest for love. No relationship is easy. It takes hard work to acquire and maintain a healthy romance.

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THREE UT O B A S THING TIFUL A BEAU N WOMA

HONEY HULA-LA What type of guys are you attracted to?

Smart, funny, and talented men and women.

Do you have a dark side or alter ego?

Of course. Her name is Audrey ;) The perfect Saturday night ends with…

“Good morning.”

OUR PEDIGREE D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2014 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD “BEST HAMBURGER” 2014 URBAN SPOON “MOST POPULAR HOT DOG” 2013 D MAGAZINE READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY BLITZIE AWARD ‘BEST HOT WINGS” 2013 DALLAS OBSERVER READERS CHOICE “BEST HOT DOG” 2013 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2013 BLITZ WEEKLY “BEST SPOTS TO WATCH THE SUPER BOWL” 2013 HOW ABOUT WE “TOP DALLAS DATE SPOT” 2013 CRAVE DFW “BEST DOGS OF DALLAS” 2012 DALLAS MORNING NEWS “BEST BURGER IN DFW” 2012 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2010 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST GREASY SPOON” 2009 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST NACHOS” 2009 D MAGAZINE “D-BEST HAMBURGER” 2006 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST BURGER” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST CHEAP EATS” 2006 AOL CITY GUIDE “BEST LATE NIGHT DINING” 2005 AVID GOLFER MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2004 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HANGOVR THERAPY” 2003 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HAMBURGER” 2002 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST PLACE TO BUY A DOG” 2001 D MAGAZINE “BEST HANGOVER HELPER” 2001 THE MET “BEST BAR FOOD” 2000 D MAGAZINE “BEST WINGS” 2000 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WINGS” 1998 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST HOT DOG” 1994 DALLAS OBSERVER “BEST WNGS” 1992

Jarrod Fresquez Model: Honey Hula-la Make-Up: J ai Okoli – Makeup Junkies, INC. Hair: George Graham – Makeup Junkies, INC. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

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ENJOY A PLETHORA OF OUR FAVORITE

SANDWICHES IN DALLAS

BY STEVEN DOYLE – CRAVEDFW.COM

Deli News

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here is little to make a sandwich wonderful other than fantastic bread, well thought out seasonings and spreads, and a filling that should be unsurpassed. When deciding a list of our favorites, it seemed a more daunting task than originally thought. So many more came to mind as the list was settled.

With all the heartache of selecting which can stand alone as the very best, we humbly submit in no particular order sandwiches that we enjoy. Tell us your favorites and we will run out today and sample one.

20 Feet Seafood Joint

DELI NEWS Deli News has been a Dallas mainstay for decades as it made its way to the current location on Preston Road in Far North Dallas. Procuring bread and pastrami from New York, this deli has defended its title as our city’s finest. Choose this hot sandwich along with a cup of matzo ball soup on a crisp fall afternoon, and you will experience nirvana. delinewsdallas.com.

20 FEET SEAFOOD JOINT

Pecan Lodge

What’s not to adore about 20 Feet Seafood Joint in East Dallas?

Certainly the pork belly ramen is delicious, as is the lobster roll. But for the money, we truly love the Ipswich Clam Roll. Huge, tender clams adorn the house baked roll. Pure. Simple. Delicious.

20-feet.com.

LUSCHER’S RED HOTS At Luscher’s Red Hots there is a concoction know as The “Uncle Jimmy.” This is a house-made Uncle Jimmy Luscher sweet ‘n’ hot Italian sausage piled with pulled pork and a zesty combination of pickled veggies – jardinière. Order and you shall be happy. luschers.com.

¡C. SEÑOR! Uncle Uber’s Sammich Shop

One of the hottest sandwiches to fill our belly is the Cuban sandwich made proper at ¡C. Señor! in Oak Cliff. The tiniest sandwich shop on the list is big with flavor. Pulled pork, ham, pickles, yellow mustard, served with a side of fried plantains.

Damn, we are on our way. 330 W. Davis St. – Dallas.

JIMMY’S FOOD STORE

East Hampton Sandwich Co. SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

For many in Dallas, Jimmy’s Food Store located at Bryan Street and Fitzhugh is the Mecca of all things sandwich. On any given day (except Sunday) you will find a line of patrons waiting for their deli-case sandwiches to be prepared. A few of our favorites include the meatball, hot Italian and the muffuletta, which is the most uniquely American sandwich on the planet. jimmysfoodstore.com.

PECAN LODGE Not necessarily known for sandwiches, Pecan Lodge makes this silly good sandwich called The “Pitmaster.” It is just as ominous as it sounds, packed with juicy brisket, pulled pork, handmade sausage, topped with slaw, BBQ sauce and fresh sliced jalapeños. pecanlodge.com.

TRUCK YARD The Philly at the Truck Yard continues to satisfy us on so many levels. The big, meaty, in-your-face sandwich loaded with your choice of veggies and cheeses always is the right idea when you have extreme hunger that only can be dealt with by a two-fisted beef sandwich. texastruckyard.com.

JONATHON’S OAK CLIFF The Club Sandwich is what legends are made of in this beautiful little Oak Cliff haunt. This bad boy is one of the most sharable sandwiches in town, if that is even a consideration. The club is loaded with ham, turkey, bacon, Swiss and American cheeses, lettuce, tomato, avocado, egg, mayo, and onions. Holy mother of sandwiches. jonathonsoakcliff.com.

GREAT OUTDOORS With its first shop located in downtown Dallas, the Great Outdoors was the first sub sandwich for many local Dallasites. A New Jersey import by the name of Jerry Oliverie opened his first shop in 1973 using an odd house-baked bun and very fresh ingredients.

This might have been our first foray with bean sprouts as a child.

Several locations are still thriving strong in the DFW area and are as delicious today as they were first made in the 70s. Might we suggest the Invention? greatoutdoorsubs.com.

UNCLE UBER’S SAMMICH SHOP Bryan and Kathy Crelly, who also started Uptown Bar & Grill, Fat Ted’s Bar & Grill, Pueblo Arriba and Rockwell’s Neighborhood Grill, operate Uncle Uber’s Sammich Shop to the huzzahs of the Deep Ellum neighborhood in which it stands. Making some kick-ass sandwiches (sorry – sammiches), Uber’s is staying true to its belief that each sandwich needs all the special love and care it deserves. uncleubers.com.

EAST HAMPTON SANDWICH CO. The fried chicken sandwich at East Hampton Sandwich Co. certainly is a mouthful of tasty. This sandwich with a side of house-fried potato chips will set you free. ehsandwich.com.

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All Bad Things Must Come To an End

BY ALAN SCULLEY – ALANLASTWORD@GMAIL.COM

INTERVIEW

This fall, Mötley Crüe heads into the home stretch of its final tour with a trek that covers the United States and Europe before a grand finale on New Year’s Eve in the band’s home town of Los Angeles. On Oct. 7, the group will perform at the American Airlines Center in Dallas.

One thing that’s happening, according to bassist Nikki Sixx, is that he and bandmates Vince Neil, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee are going into their final run of shows with a renewed appreciation for each other and what they did together in Mötley Crüe.

“This is just probably a bad analogy, but if you’ve been in love with somebody for over 30 years, there are days when you may take them for granted, days when they may get on your nerves,” Sixx said in a recent interview. “There are days when you’re like I don’t know if I love them as much as I used to love them. Then you find out they’re going to die. And all of a sudden, all of the little things about them become so important, and all the laughter and all that seems to get louder and you start to remember things in a positive way. I think that’s how it is for me and the guys. We’re like ‘Wow, this is real…It’s getting fucking real.”

Mötley Crüe has gone to considerable lengths to show fans that this tour, which began last summer, will be the band’s final one. This will not be another farewell outing that turns out to be merely a temporary goodbye when the group reunites a few years later for more touring (see Kiss and the Scorpions) and even more recording.

At an early 2014 press conference announcing the final tour, the band even signed a binding legal document in which the four band members agreed there will be no further tours in any form as Mötley Crüe.

There has been some talk that the band members might write and record new songs here and there – perhaps for a soundtrack to the film adaptation to the band’s autobiography, The Dirt. But all four band members insist there will not be any more full tours or anything that resembles a return to full-time activity. And Sixx said he hasn’t had any second thoughts about ending Mötley Crüe.

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

Paul Brown

“No, absolutely not, not one second thought, never,” he said. “This is on Mötley Crüe terms. We decided to go out the way we came in, and we’re not really interested in any other version of it.

There are all kinds of stuff that are around here and there. I don’t know, maybe we’ll make some music. Maybe we won’t. But right now, as far as that specific question, no to us ever getting back together and touring.”

The announcement that Mötley Crüe would end with the final tour may have seemed sudden, and considering the group’s continued popularity, unexpected. But as Lee explained in a separate interview, the decision to end the band didn’t happen overnight, and was orchestrated so the group could go out on its own terms while all four band members were reasonably healthy and able to deliver a high energy show.

“This is definitely not something new. We’ve been talking about this for years,” Lee said. “We would constantly ask each other how do we want to, you know, end this thing? I know how we don’t want to end it. We don’t want to end it with one or two guys still out there touring with two other hired guys. That’s just not how we ever envisioned it – ever. And so to prevent that, before anything bad could happen – Jesus Christ, we’re all still alive and everyone’s healthy –maybe now is a good time.“ The final tour will close the book on a career that has seen plenty of ups and downs, debauchery that reached legendary levels and plenty of fun songs that helped launch the so-called hair metal movement of the 1980s.

The Mötley Crüe story starts in 1981, with the band self-released debut album, Too Fast for Love, selling 40,000 copies of the album, according to the band members. Signed to Elektra Records after that, the group broke through commercially with the 1983 album, Shout at the Devil, and then reeled off three more consecutive hit albums,

Mötley Crüe from left, Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil and Mick Mars Theatre of Pain (1985), Girls, Girls, Girls (1987) and Dr. Feelgood (1989). In all, the band has sold more than 75 million copies of its nine albums.

The group took advantage of its success, partying like true rock stars and boasting of numerous sexual escapades. But all was not fun and games.

In 1984, Neil was driving when he had a head-on crash that killed his passenger, Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley, drummer of the band Hanoi Rocks. In 1987, Sixx suffered a heroin overdose that left him legally dead on the way to the hospital before medical personnel were able to revive him.

There also was plenty of conflict between band members at various points. Neil quit in 1992, then rejoined the group in the late 1990s after his solo career never took wing, only to be booted again in 2002, after which the group broke up entirely for a couple of years.

Lee also had his problems with the group, leaving Mötley Crüe in 1999, and forming his own band, Methods of Mayhem, before rejoining when the band as a whole reunited in 2004.

The group went on to do several successful tours that led up to the making of the 2008 studio album, Saints of Los Angeles, which was widely praised as a return to musical form for the band.

So Mötley Crüe figures to end its career on a high note. This year’s shows will feature a hit-laden set similar to the one the group played last year, but the shows will be amped up visually, with one of the all-time favorite attractions, the “drum coaster,” which takes Lee and a lucky (and possibly petrified) audience member on a rollercoaster loop as Lee does a drum solo, back for most of the shows. Last year’s shows at outdoor amphitheaters couldn’t accommodate the “drum coaster.”

“We would constantly ask each other how do we want to, you know, end this thing? I know how we don’t want to end it.”

“When we booked this (leg of the tour), not just for the drums, for the whole production, we wanted to make sure we could get everything in the building and use everything,” Sixx said.

“So that’s why it’s all arenas. There are a couple of spot dates here and there (that aren’t), but in general that’s why we did it that way.”

As for its year-ending three-night stand in Los Angeles – including the New Year’s Eve final show – Sixx wasn’t offering any specifics about what Mötley Crüe will do to go out in style.

“It’s going to be big,” he said. “We’re going to go out with like a ball of flame, let’s just say that.”

As for how he’ll feel as he leaves the stage with Neil, Mars and Lee for the final time, Sixx, who plans to devote much of his post-Crüe time to his other band, Sixx: A.M. – isn’t sure what he’ll feel.

“I’ve thought about it. I’m thinking about it more every day,” Sixx said. “I guess I’m just going to wait and see what happens. I’m really proud to say goodbye to the same original members we said hello with. I’m proud of that. And I love these guys. I’m a fan of theirs. I look forward to seeing what they do on their own.”

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The Journals of

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Justin Bieber Part II

BY PETER GERSTENZANG – @HAPPYSPAPPY As you might remember, a year ago we were lucky enough to publish an excerpt from the journals of pop singer Justin Bieber. People expecting it to read like C.S. Lewis were slightly disappointed. Mostly because the writing was more reminiscent of Jerry Lewis.

Well, we’ve found another extract from this Canadian singer (and newly elected President of Mensa). We hope you like it.

Dec. 30, 2013: Kind of a weird night. I just finished opening up for Pearl Jam. I kind of blew it. By “opening up,” I thought they meant letting in the fans, turning on the lights and showing people to their seats. Then I went home. By the time I finally got back to the arena, the show was over. My manager was so bugged! He sent me back to the arena.

Which is when I learned about “closing down.” Man, there were a lot of chairs to fold up and put away!

Jan. 9, 2014: Got busted tonight for egging my neighbor’s house. He so deserved it after saying that someday I’d make a good “Thespian.” I said, “Fuck you, I’m not gay, dude!” The egging took about four hours. Note to self: do not hard boil them first. It freakin’ takes forever. And it doesn’t make much of a mess.

Feb. 1, 2014: After I got busted for DUI, 270,000 people petitioned to have me deported.

I didn’t know what it meant, but it sounded freakin’ scary. So before they could do it, I just left the U.S. and went back to Canada.

July 9, 2014: I had to pay a fine for the house egging. Plus an extra 15 percent for doing it wrong. When it was all done, I decided to move to Beverly Hills permanently. But I couldn’t find it. Apparently, when they heard I was moving there, Beverly Hills actually moved. Man, I still can’t find it.

Jan. 15, 2015: In between arrests, fines and community service, I made some records. I don’t remember what they were called. But, it’s cool. I bet you don’t either.

Jan. 30, 2015: Today I found out I am going to be the new “face” and “body” of Calvin Klein. This is bitchin, but there’s one problem. If I’m Calvin’s face and body, what are they going to do with his face and body? They can’t just throw that shit out, yo. Maybe they can give it to some poor needy kid who can’t afford a face or a body. That would be rad.

March 11, 2015: I just made it clear that I believe in God and “He’s the reason I’m here.”

I then got hit with a lot of tweets that said, “You’re the reason I’m an atheist.” I have a feeling once I look that word up, I’m not going to like it.

Sept. 8, 2015: Got word that my single, “What Do You Mean?” debuted at No. 1 on Billboard. I didn’t write the song, but I came up with the title. Because it’s a question I ask about almost everything. Including the guy who came up to me yesterday and asked if I would ever consider self-deportation. It sounds cool. He seemed like a nice guy. And when I have an answer, I plan to give it to him.

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

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BY CHRIS SICK – @CHRISSICK

So where does that leave us as we head into next year’s election? More important – where does this leave me?

he United States is an undeniably strange place to live, even on the best of days, but never more so than during an election. I’d love to not mention Donald Trump in one of my columns, but it’s becoming difficult to talk about upcoming elections or politics and ignore his domination of the Republican polls. As of this writing, he led his closest rival by about 14 points.

I argue. Constantly. Here at Blitz I write comprehensive arguments designed to explore and, ultimately, convince you that I have the correct position on whatever issue I’m covering. In school, I argue with classmates and professors. When I get bored I hunt up (bad/dumb) arguments on the Internet. My lifelong goal is to get paid to argue, without having to suffer law school.

Trump confounds political pundits and analysts, and his position in the polls defies all their expectations. I’ve given up hope that I’ll somehow explain his popularity when most of the political press has spectacularly failed. For my purposes, however, he’s a useful example of the divisions and partisanship that’s poisoning the discourse and turning disagreements into existential battles between and within both parties.

You cannot possibly imagine how little fun I am at parties.

But at some point I have to ask, to what end?

According to all of the research I’ve come across – and I should probably tell you I am not a scientist and not necessarily qualified to evaluate it – there virtually is no hope of convincing someone who disagrees with me to join my side of the argument.

Trump frequently is described as a “polarizing figure,” a polite way to say that half the country thinks he’s completely, round-the-bend, crazy.

Which also is a useful summation of how partisans feel about their political opposition.

So that raises an interesting question. If half of the 244 million adults living in this country think the other half is completely insane, regardless of which half you agree with, it seems pretty likely they can’t both be right.

If half the country believes something, it is by definition within the realm of mainstream politics. It is hard to describe something so many people subscribe to as beyond-thepale insane. Examining the most recent controversies in the news, be it Planned Parenthood or Black Lives Matter or the Iran Nuclear Deal, all serve as examples of fierce partisan disagreement. And a constant theme is not just mild controversy, but insistence from each side that the other is amoral, incorrect, and outright lying.

These are not simply debates of differing opinion. The disagreements surrounding abortion are completely intractable, both in the sense that there is no compromise position which could be found between the different factions, but that opinions have remained fairly constant over time. Today’s debate is grounded in the fact that opponents of Planned Parenthood view the sting videos as proof positive of criminal activity on the part of the organization, while defenders insist they show no such thing.

To be clear, defining what is and is not a crime isn’t always a clear-cut empirical act; jury

And as disappointing as I might personally find that, the effects on national discourse and politics are probably far worse than my bruised ego. So why bother?

Well, the picture isn’t completely bleak.

Researchers have found that they can encourage study participants to think of themselves as individuals, as opposed to partisans, through simple exercises. The results tend to break the partisan cycle, through simple priming that refocuses individuals outside of their partisan team. trials exist for exactly this reason. But when (roughly) half the population sees one fact in a video and the other doesn’t see it at all, we’re starting to get the sense of a bigger problem.

This is what scientists would call a known problem. Researchers ranging from psychologists to neurologists to philosophers to journalists have studied and examined the limitations of people’s ability to change their own minds and how easily they can be persuaded into tribal partisanship. The human brain, they suggest, is hardwired for tribal affiliation and resisting evidence that doesn’t confirm to a person’s underlying worldview.

One of the notable researchers on the subject is psychologist Jonathan Haidt, who devised a series of tests to determine how people reason through questions of morality. He found

that morality is a reflexive instinct and not a rational process. That is, people frequently have instinctual moral responses to things that they cannot logically justify or explain, they just are. Their morality is ingrained.

Findings like this and the so-called Backfire Effect, the phenomenon of how people resist new information that challenges their beliefs, suggests a bleak picture for future elections.

People are more greatly polarized and partisan than at any time in modern history, and their elected representatives are, well, representing them in the same way. Worse, recent studies find that people are less supportive of their party than ever before, but rally to support it due to an intense loathing of those they disagree with, what researchers call “negative partisanship.”

For me, the suggestion is that maybe there’s something to be gained after all, maybe not so much through arguments, which come with the weight of determining who won them or not, but conversations. Individuals can converse, and recognize each other as individuals and find common ground and compromise. Maybe, then, the way to think of this column is not as an argument to be won by beating you over the head, but a conversation that’s ongoing and always developing.

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OCTOBER 2015

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

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VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

OCTOBER 2015

Bits of Wisdom…Jonah Hill It’s always better to shock people and change people’s expectations than to give them exactly what they think you can do.

I assume everything I do in life is gonna be a failure, and then if it turns up roses, then I’m psyched.

New Orleans is like the bad-kid island in Pinocchio.

The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like Mad Men is disgusting.

It’s a super disgusting part of our culture.

Will Folsom

I would never remake something that was like The Godfather. Things that are truly important to me, I could never remake or reboot, or whatever.

Libra: September 23-October 22 When people ask how you have survived this long it isn’t because they are genuinely impressed. They are just mad Darwinism has been slacking.

Scorpio: October 23-November 21 Next year people will be required to take state “intelligence” tests in order to reproduce because of people like you.

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21 People ask how you stay in such a happy mood, if only they knew how true the saying “ignorance is bliss” really is.

Andrew J. Hewett chewednews.blogspot.com TOOK THEM FOR A RIDE Gregory Reddick, 54, of Jamaica Queens, N.Y., was arrested for wearing an ‘Authorized Ticket Agent’ jacket near the South Street Seaport, where he’d charged a couple $400 to ride the Staten Island Ferry; which is free. Reddick’s rap sheet includes six felony convictions.

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HE’S THE ONE WHO GOT SCREWED When an Oklahoma man, Preston Rhoads, 31, was told by a girlfriend she was pregnant, he tried to get a co-worker to help poison her with ricin. This got him sentenced to 20 years in prison, court costs, and a $10,000 fine. Good news is, this woman has since learned he was not the father.

PICKY, PICKY, PICKY Baker Lake, Wash. - After Washington State Fish and Wildlife agents found a black bear passed out on the lawn of Baker Lake Resort, they didn’t have to wonder why.

Around the animal were some 37 empty beer cans, ripped open with claws. Strangely, all empties except one were labeled Rainier beer. Apparently he didn’t care for the one can of Busch beer he’d opened?

Capricorn: December 22-January 19 Discovering Hepatitis Z would feel groundbreaking for medicine if you weren’t patient zero.

Aries: March 21-April 19 You’ll bring your date home to make the beast with two backs when you realize she wasn’t being sarcastic about her anal leakage issue.

Cancer: June 22-July 22 The good news is you finally found extraterrestrial life and have proof. The bad news is the proof is stashed up your keister.

Aquarius: January 20-February 18 Buying your condoms at Costco proves that you possess the utmost confidence in your game.

Taurus: April 20-May 20 After having a 30-minute conversation with Visa regarding your late payment fees you’ll walk away feeling great!

Leo: July 23-August 22 Congrats! You’ve really improved your animal husbandry skills, now if you could only get the goats to breed with each other…

Pisces: February 19-March 20 Continuing to post on Facebook that being single is your choice and fun. Too bad nobody’s buying it.

Gemini: May 21-June 21 Things go from annoying to scary when you find an empty bath salts wrapper at the Halloween party and notice everyone’s not “acting” like a zombie.

Virgo: August 23-September 22 Who knew that your idea to start an affordable “mustache rides” venture would end in total and complete financial failure.

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VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

THE 7 MOST SINISTER 1

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BY TAYLOR C. BERRIER @THEGALAXY89

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What I love about James Bond movies the most is that just when you think Agent 007 has lost and the world is doomed, the arrogance of his evil counterpart leads to Bond’s escape which ultimately leads to the antagonist’s own demise.

The tables get turned, it’s no surprise, and in this day and age of cinema no longer considered a plot twist. Every time, you are assured that Bond will be the victor in this bout of world domination, yet always the humble patron who recedes his prize to the one place most of us only wish we could.

Some Bond villains happened to be much more like Bond that I’m sure he would have liked, making him face his own personal demons and inner struggles while still trying to thwart the evil in the outside world.

The following list of the best Bond villains is just fodder for fans eagerly awaiting Spectre, the Bond movie to reprise the most evil and world renowned criminal agency not seen since Diamonds Are Forever. And since Bond inevitably will be running into some of these bad guys again, we take a look back at the most memorable and dastardly wrongdoers who hoped to defeat Bond or at least stop him from stopping them on their quest.

SMARTER, SHARPER MEN

funhouse of mannequins and mirrors? Eccentric, but insane. Scaramanga was portrayed by late actor Christopher Lee, the step-cousin of Bond creator Ian Fleming. With a love for animals and born with a third nipple, Scaramanga definitely was an assassin to be set apart from the rest, he did manage to kill one 00 agent. Nonetheless, with all the tools at his side, including henchman Nick-Nack, Bond was up against one of his most worthy adversaries.

to an extreme. His downfall happened to be a common mistake in journalism, impatience. He couldn’t wait to report on the news, so he made the news himself, but also embellished just a tad.

In doing so, becomes an extremist out for world domination. Classic. The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success. Too bad he failed at world domination, only proving he succeeded at being insane.

3. Jaws – The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker Many debate the true antagonist of these films to be Jaws, the hired muscle, and for very good reason. Jaws might not have had the brain for world domination, but had the brain for his brawn, and ultimately life. Karl Stromberg and Hugo Drax were merely the puppet masters of their grand schemes. But nothing says badass more than surviving a fight with a shark or a fall from a plane without a parachute. And subtly enough, the genius behind the character was not just his capacity for murder, but the means by which he carried them out. His secret weapon? Those big metal dentures that could cut through three-inchthick cable wire. You wouldn’t believe how long it took the studio to create the prosthetic teeth.

It was a sad day for Bond fans when Richard Kiel, the man who portrayed Jaws, died Sept. 10. He’s looking down from the clouds somewhere and giving a champagne toast to all the Bond fans out there saying, “Well, here’s to us.”

6. Raoul Silva – Skyfall Daniel Craig, thou shalt not forsake thee. Here you shall face your second-most worrisome foe, second to the villain in what I can only assume will be the best Bond film ever made – Spectre.

And of course, this one too comes with his own island. Grandmother Silva even had her own island. Silva was not just a psychopath, but also a psychoanalyst, one who got under Bond’s skin more easily than most. His words were chilling, mortifying to say the least. What’s devastating here is his relationship with M, the head of MI6.

Being a former operative, Silva directs his attacks at the heart of the British counter-intelligence agency, killing M in the process. Did I mention Silva is played by Javier Bardem? No? Well take his ruthless antagonism from No Country and combine it with his villainous character from Pirates of the Caribbean and you’ve got yourself one of the best Bond bad guys of all time.

*Since I will not be repeating films, special mention to Boris Grishenko, who had only believed himself to be invincible, but in fact was not.

4. Max Zorin – A View to Kill When we think of great Bond villains, we automatically recall the ones played by famous actors though maybe not famous at the time.

Their excellent portrayal of the Bond villain would cement them into the history of great acting.

Christopher Walken might have been the staple Bond villain to come out of Hollywood. Sadly, the film met with some criticism including some from Roger Moore himself, citing that it wasn’t a very Bond-like to have your villain machine gunning hundreds of people down. But times were a changing, and 1985 had long been effected by visuals from Vietnam and other violent films like Rambo in ‘82. Max Zorin was indeed a psychopath and the only villain who preferred blimp travel over jets, trains, and BMWs. His eccentricity was unparalleled. Walken does what he does best – act and be crazy.

2. Francisco Scaramanga – Man with the Golden Gun There’s cause for concern whenever you receive a bullet with your name etched into it from an anonymous source, especially if that bullet is gold.

Most people would head straight to the pawn shop, but not Bond. Also, how crazy must you be to want to dual with 007, only to lead him into a

5. Elliot Carver – Tomorrow Never Dies Gentlemen, and Ladies, hold the presses! This just in! FLW by media mogul and classic Bond villain Elliot Carver. Not exactly Rupert Murdoch, Carver still epitomized the dangers and stigma of international media scandal during the turn of the millennium. Portrayed by Jonathan Pryce, Elliot Carver takes yellow journalism and sensationalism

1. Alec Trevelyan – GoldenEye Talk about formidable. Alec was also a 00 agent with MI6. You might remember as portrayed by British actor Sean Bean, and what a performance this was. Some say the quality of Bonds started to decline after Connery, but the villains undoubtedly only started to get better. There’s so much background with Alec that his relationship with Bond has a tremendous impact on his own demise.

Alec makes us question Bond’s own ethics and morality when we see Bond set the timers to three minutes instead of six, ultimately creating a huge paradigm between protagonist and antagonist.

Was it for England? No, it was for James.

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VILLIANS

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Good evening, Mr. Bond. Glad you could make it to the party. Too bad you won’t be staying long, I so enjoyed our little run-ins with each other. But I must be going now. And for you, let’s just say your fate lies with the fishes. Mwuhaha…

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7. Elektra King – The World is Not Enough Just saying her name sends shivers down my spine. Portrayed by actress Sophie Marceau, Elektra King was maybe closest to killing Bond and achieving world domination than we give her credit. She already had the fame and world recognition, but also had the prowess to have everyone fooled. King and boyfriend Renard were evil to the core, a true Bonnie and Clyde type. Renard was thought to be the mastermind with a bullet in his brain and a tolerance for pain, who could blame you for this misconception.

Elektra King held the true motive of vengeance against MI6 and M specifically, even capturing M at one point. But letting fate be the ultimate saving grace for our protagonists, King falls short by her ego like every other classic Bond villain.

And if you’ve been paying attention, I’ve put in some of my favorite villain quotes. As cliché as it is to throw in the movie title into your script, none was done so perfectly as in this movie when King’s last words to Bond were: “I could have given you the world.” To which Bond coyly replies, “The world is not enough.” *CHILLS* One thing is for sure, Christoph Waltz has a lot to live up to. Spectre is expected to hit cinemas worldwide Nov. 6, making it a likely holiday competitor.

VOL. 8 - ISSUE 9

OCTOBER 2015

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